#ive already been going crazy about part 1 and 2 but i didnt know there was a part 3 and

[crowleys-bentley-and-plants]

The Unforgiven III by Metallica should not hit so hard wtf

[diobrando]

this bitch is so flakey man it’s getting on my nerves

[cajunfoxnight]

Hi really interested in this reconstruct Au!! Do you have more information about the story?

Oh Anon.. I hope you are ready for the can of worms you have just opened 😬

I should warn you tho, I am not the best at telling a story, and im worse at explaining one. However I also want to share this AU as its been something ive been working on for 8+ years, and while it is mostly a self indulgent Monster AU, full of stereotypical troupes and cliches, its also very important to me. I made this AU when I was not in a good place mentally and was using it as a way to cope with and express the feelings I was having at the time. Its changed a lot and truth be told its actually 2 story lines that combine to become 1 down the line. But for the sake of this ask, I will focus on talking about the Reconstruct backstory.

Anyway if youre still interested in what the story is about, then please continue reading! I will do my best to try not to babble too much but.. its going to happen anyway 😅

TW: So I should probably start off with mentioning that this AU does contain emotional and physical abuse, manipulation, and mention of body mutilation. Not that im going to go into the details of that here but thats just me covering my own ass :v At the point the story is at now, Gladion is much older than he is in the games/manga/anime. His actual age isnt fully known as the theme with this AU deals with time and interdimensional travel, so its hard to keep track of, but he appears to be in his early 20s. But for all intents and purposes he is an adult.

✨The story ✨ So the Reconstruct AU is something of a "bad ending" storyline.

So this story follows that of the canon for the beginning. Mohn disappeared when he fell through an Ultra Space worm hole that was opened, and his whereabouts are unknown. Lusamine still went into her crazy and Ultra Beast obsessed self, only concerned with youth, beauty, and keeping things as under her control as much as she can. Gladion steals TYPE:NULL and Lillie taking Nebby and running away. Lillie going to live with Kukui and Gladion joining Team Skull as their enforcer.

In this timeline, Lusamine, in her desperate need to have control of everything around her, decides that she will create her "perfect world" where she will surround herself with all of the things that she loves. A place where everything will be kept exactly the way she wants them, preserved for all of time, and where she wont ever be alone again. However she knows that she can not do this on her own, but knows who can. Someone younger, stronger, and already has knowledge about the UBs and Aether. Now the hard part is getting him to join her, but she has a plan for that.

Lusamine gets in contact with Guzma (as in this story he still "works" for her) and with the help of some choice words, a good sob story, and probably a fat check, she's able to convince him that she has changed and she wants help from him to convince Gladion of these things as well. Being that he and Gladion are so close, and obviously he trusts him so much, it shouldnt be hard for him to talk some sense into him, right? She does an amazing job at getting Guzma on her side, having him think that Gladion is just being a bratty, rebellious, edgy teen. After all, he comes from some nice rich family, could have anything he wants, and yet still chose to ran away, how bad could it have possibly been? Does he even realize how bad some of these kids have it? How badly HE had it?? So generally he thinks that Gladion is just over reacting/being dramatic. He doesnt know how good he's had it, obviously!

Guzma sets up this whole "ambush". He has Gladion come back to the shady house, getting him inside and cornering him in his room, where he is confronted by Lusamine. She puts on this big show of being the sorry mother just wanting her son back, going on about how she's changed and she didnt mean to do all of those horrible things and so on and so on. All she wants is them to be a family again, like they used to be, is that really so much to ask for? Gladion is already seeing right through this, he knows all of this is bs, but he cant seem to get anyone on his side. After all, the members of Team Skull never really liked him anyway and were only going along with it bc Guzma said so. Now with Guzma against him, he has no real back up. He cant fight back and he cant even escape. Despite his stubborn nature, he still cant overcome the hold his mother has on him after all those years. She very much has him between a rock and a hard place. So not having any other option, he is forced to go back home with her.

Once back home, Gladion's life is turned upside down as Lusamine does everything she can to keep him on a short leash. All freedom that he had is now gone, and he is constantly watched and monitored, its suffocating. Much like before, he's told how to dress, how to act, what to eat and how much, he cant even so much as get near a computer or phone without someone questioning him. He cant even bring out any of his pokemon bc Lusamine has deemed most of them "too dangerous" to have out all under the pretense of doing it for his safety. The only pokemon he's able to have around him is his Umbreon, and even then, she's given a electric collar that keeps her within the property of the house, so no chance of her running off in the middle of the night or anything. While Lusamine insists that shes not keeping him there against his will, she assures him that he's allowed to leave whenever he'd like. Tho she also warns him that if he leaves, then Lillie will be taking his place. She will not be left with an empty nest. Truth be told Lillie probably would have been the easier choice between the two, she also knows that Gladion would do anything to keep her safe. So using her as leverage is how she keeps control over Gladion.

One day Lusamine casually brings up about the "Reconstruct Project" to Gladion (keeping its details very vague), mentioning its something he could help her with, as she thinks he would be interested, He shuts it down saying that he wants no part of whatever she's doing. Lusamine doesnt prese the issue, only expressing disappointment that he wont even consider her offer, but she wont force him. Rather she doesnt want to force him as she wants him to join her willingly. (Even if "willingly" means she'll force his hand) She needs him for this Project. Gladion may be stubborn, but she is so much worse.

After their initial conversation, things only got a lot worse. While he had few freedoms since all of this has started, those are gone now. He becomes cut off from his Pokemon, from the outside, he hardly has a moment of peace where he doesnt feel like he's being questioned or ordered to do something. He really is like a prisoner in his own home (well, a place he once called that). His sanity is being chipped away at, and it comes down to 2 options. -He can either join onto this Reconstruct project, whatever it is. Not knowing what fate could await him or what Lusamine as planned, but at least he'd have a chance at having some sense of a life back and limited freedom.. -Or he can live the rest of his life as Lusamine's puppet, having no freedom or will of his own (<-which is also another story of its own). His life will practically be on auto pilot, forever chained to Aether but never having a say in anything.

It takes some time but eventually Gladion does break, and asks to join the Reconstruct Project, even tho he still has no idea what it is, but anything is better than the life he is living now.

Lusamine is absolutely delighted by this news! And almost instantly, life then turns around for Gladion. He finally is given back some freedom, if not more than what he had before. He is able to move around his home without question. He gets to eat more and better than he did before, putting on some much needed muscle. He's even getting a chance to walk around outside and around the property without having some kind of chaperone. Lusamine even invites him to join her at Aether to over see some projects that they are working on as well as helping with pokemon there. She lets him join her in outings in town, taking him to eat and so on. She's essentially love bombing him, and he hesitantly accepts. All the while this is going on, he still does not know what this Reconstruct Project is bc he cant seem to find any information on it, like it almost doesnt even exist. Whenever he asks about it, Lusamine either skirts around the question or tells him that then only thing he should be concerned about is being in his best physical condition as possible. She assures him that it'll all be worth it, and shes going to give him what he's always wanted: To be stronger. But in order to that, he's going to need some "upgrades. None of this does well to ease any concerns or fears he has, but he's already gotten this far, and he doesnt want to risk going to how things were before so.. whatever it is, he's in it for better or worse. Gladion undergoes a very extensive surgery, with about 80% of his body being "Reconstructed" (hence the name) from the ground up. Its some time later that he wakes up from a induced coma and when he does the reality of what has happened to him is made clear. He is no longer human, or rather, not completely. His body a patch worked mess, a terrible jigsaw amalgamation of human and (shiny) Silvally. Lusamine delivered on her promise to make him stronger, even if she left out the finer details of it.. So that is the Reconstruct story line, or the start of it anyway. From here the story follows along with Gladion changing his name to "Reconstruct" as he has convinced himself that who he once was is no longer him. That part of him died long before it got to this point. His job is that of a glorified errand boy and protector of Aether. He mostly travels through Ultra Space and to different worlds/time to gather up UBs for Lusamine so that she can create her "perfect world". He travels through the worm holes with the aid of an altered Dusk Mane Solgaleo who has been fitted with pieces of Necrozma Armor, that acts a lot like NULL's inhibitor helmet. While its an odd life and something he would have never imagined for himself. He is still very much tied to Aether, at least in this way he has some sense of purpose and freedom. Tho in his time of traveling he has seen much, including other versions of himself (Gladion) living out lives that he knows he could never have, being with people that he cared about, knowing that he cant ever go back to how things were. He's very lonely, bitter, and jaded at the world and others. He's closed off, quick to anger, and untrusting of others. His only real reason to keep going despite everything thats happened is bc of Lillie, as knowing that at least this way he can still protect her. He is content enough to live the rest of his life like this. Even if he has to do it alone. Trying not to think about what might happened when he finishes his mission.. but, well, life certainly has a way of surprising you. And that is the story! I admit that I am going to be very surprised to know if anyone actually read all of this, but if you did please know you have my many thanks and my apologies 😅

[spaciebabie]

HI HI HI I JUST SAW THE FNAF MOVIE FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO SHARE YOUR THOTS ABT EVERYTHING

alr well im gonna talk abt a lot of things under the cut :> (extra precaution for people who havent seen it!) im gonna be talking abt some major spoilers so like if you dont wanna know what happens dont look!!!!!!!!

the thing that stood out ta me the most abt this movie is the cinematography i mean- some of those shots were really well fucking done. and the tension at certain parts??? i mean!!! i wasnt really scared during the movie but there were some parts where the build up ta the scare made me feel a lil somethin somethin yk. a little tingle in my booty.

ALSO LIKE?? THE AUNT DIED AND NOBODY FUKCING TALKED ABOUT IT SKDFJSKFHSKJFSJDF???? DID MIKE JUST FUCKING MOVE HER BODY OUT OF HIS HOME??? WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GO???? THEY REALLY JUST LIKE DID NOT GIVE A SHIT ABT HER AWAHWHAGGWGAGWAHHWGHAHAHA

also. the springlocks. we finally got like some explanation asta how they would work and honestly i really really like how they function. like it makes sense!! the metal ribcage??? fuck thats so peak i might hafta add that ta my springer design i love it

speaking of springtrap. hello hi i love. william afton. i have always been a springtrap lover and a william afton enjoyer but this movie man. mathew lillard is hot as hell and he did an awesome job in this role. i mean hes everything i would want william afton ta be. silly, dangerous, unhinged, sure of himself, ive already made a post talking abt how much i liked the springlock failure scene (well more like screaming abt it) but like. hes. hes not scared of dying hes not scared of death (at least he doesnt show it) b/c he knows hes gonna be reborn and- fuck its just so good. i love everything abt the final scenes. GOSH AND HIS VOICE!!!!!!!! THE DISTORTION ON HIS VOICE DID YOU HEAR HOW GLEEFUL AND CHEERY HE WAS??? HOW DRAMATIC HIS STUPID ASS WAS??? SHITTTTTTT

im also really glad vanessa had some development here! and i wasnt expecting her ta be william aftons daughter??!?!?!?! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLYAY MOLAY ACTUAL PLOT TWIST I DIDNT SEE COMING. ive already mentioned this 2 people on discord but like. i hope we see more development of her and her fathers relationship before what we see in fnaf 1. i NEED 2 know what she saw i NEED 2 know why she is so haunted. what happened ta her family???? and like!! what the hell is happening 2 her as shes in that hospital brah i bet you she's having terrible nightmares and i needta see ALL OF THEM-

ALSO LIKE?? JUST REFERENCES TA THE FNAF FANDOM IN GENERAL?? THWE LIVING TOMBSTONE??? MATPAT?? CORYXKENSHIN????? SPARKY????

LET ME ALSO CONTINUE TALKING ABT THE FACE SHREDDER THING CUZ LIKE I WANNA KNOW WHY THAT WAS EVEN IN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACEOMG A THOUGHT JUST HIT ME-

FACE SHREDDER SO YOU CANT IDENTIFY THE BODY???? HELLO???? anyways seeing the animatronics go crazy and kill people was very cool. i loved the animatronics soooo much they were so silly and LIVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO FULL OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GODDD I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEMMM I LOVE THAT THEY PUT IN THE EFFORT TA ACTUALLY MAKE THE ANIMATRONICS IT MADE IT SO MUCH BETTER

rambling over. i needta go study skfskjfksjdf

[starlit-dreaming]

[ch4] élémentaire

Fandom: MLB Ship: Eventual Felinette, MarcNath & Chlogami, Past Lukanette TL;DR: HBIC Marinette + Rich Marinette + ML Salt Fic + Canon Divergence

0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | [4] | 5

Note: ngl, this chapter kinda took my ideas and ran it through before i even realized it. i had only 2 main ideas and it ended up getting better than expected -- it even fit the theme of the chapter LMAO

4 words: karma is a bitch

ALSO I DIDNT FORGET THE TAGS THIS TIME!!!!!!!

Tags: @jjmjjktth @smolplantmum @always-on-a-sugar-high @fan-written @vixen-uchiha @fanfics-and-fangirling @marvel--unsolved @starlightshield @lady-bee-fechin @draco-kasai @weirdo-with-no-beardo @idontwannaexistsopleasekillme @blep-23

————————————————————

iv. jacinthes bleues

————————————————————

Even though they’ve been classmates for years at Dupont, Nino couldn’t really consider himself to be friends with all of them. Maybe the guys, but certainly not the girls.

So, despite how friendly Rose has always been even when they were attending Notre Dame, he didn’t actually know her well enough to feel comfortable calling her a close friend despite their shared circles. He knew nothing of her involvement in any of Marinette’s plans unless Marinette or Alix talked to him, and apart from info gathering, he couldn’t think of any other reasons on how she factored into Marinette’s plans. An insider job, perhaps?

Rose still wore a pink ribbon, her unspoken sign of her allegiance to Marinette, so… they were in the same boat. They both fell for Lila’s lies and were trying to make it up to Marinette. Rose was a much better actress than he ever realized.

“What a screwed up situation we’re in, huh?” Nino asked wryly, leaning back into his seat. They were both in the library, working on their assigned project for their history class in the peace and quiet.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Rose said with a smile, though her eyes narrowed at him. “If anything, it’s a minor setback.”

“If that’s how you wanna call it…” he frowned, trailing off as he looked at the textbook. “Y’know, there’s no shame in admitting—”

“We are both in very different situations, Nino,” Rose sharply stated in a sweet tone of voice. “You let yourself be fooled. I let myself be complacent. There’s a difference.”

He didn’t get why Rose seemed so on edge, but it was probably for the best if he let the conversation drop. Out of everyone, Rose was the worst person to be stuck in an argument with, especially because she had that effect on people in making them feel as if they kicked a puppy.

It didn’t seem all that different to him, though. They were both in the same situations, just different end results.

Still, Rose was also the most observant person in their group who could easily pick up on a wide range of information, and her grudges were long-lasting. He’s not gonna argue about technicalities.

“You’re slouching,” Rose started frowning.

“I know,” he awkwardly admits.

“You can’t avoid it forever,” she gently said.

“I know, Rose.”

At this, she sighed, “If you don’t do anything about it, I will.”

It wasn’t a threat; it was a promise.

He doesn’t say anything in response to that, because he knows. Everyone is doing their part, no matter how hard it might be, and he’s been stalling.

But what he’s about to do is going to hurt either way.

His relationship with Alya is on the line — if she doesn’t believe him then… they might break up. He knows that the likelihood of their relationship surviving into adulthood is pretty slim, but he doesn’t want to lose her over a liar, he knows that much. If he says nothing, he’s letting her be manipulated; if he says something, it’s over even if he doesn’t want them to be. The only possibility of it going great is if Alya hears him out, which is definitely going to be a 50-50 chance.

And if Adrien doesn’t believe him, he might go crazy, but it’d be bearable — Adrien and Lila kinda have a thing going on. Adrien’s already pretty clueless about a ton of stuff, even more so when it comes to girls flirting with him, but with how he lets Lila hang off of him all the time, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was blinded from infatuation.

“If I were you, I would talk to Alya first,” Rose smiled sweetly. He’s not sure if it’s genuine kindness or if it’s part of her own plans, because it’s Nino’s problem to begin with, but it’s good advice nevertheless. “It’ll be easier to convince Adrien, but harder with Alya. If you do end up arguing or breaking up over this, then she’ll have time to come around and apologize.”

Adrien would be easier to convince.

As much as he thinks his feelings for Alya might be tipping into love, his girlfriend’s got a short temper and he can’t deny it. She was easy to rile up, and it does get hard to communicate with her when she’s adamant about being right.

“…yeah, you’re right. Thanks, dudette.”

—————————— 

“For the record, this is a terrible idea.”

Alix knew that her words would do nothing to deter Marinette from seeing this meeting through to the end, but she has always been her right-hand man and stating the obvious is her job. Honest to a fault, some might say, but frankly that’s the way Marinette prefers it. Despite their past disagreements, it will always remain the same.

Despite what happens, Marinette leads, and Alix follows.

“Oh, believe me,” she dryly chuckles, shooting Alix an amused look. Alix didn’t see why this was so amusing to Marinette, but maybe her suffering was the funny thing here. “I know it is.”

Standing tall before them was a very familiar building — a rather sizable hotel. It was overly fancy and had long since lost its charm, and yet it was the only place that Dupont could get a free field trip at on short notice: Le Grand Paris.

Despite knowing that it’ll be far from pleasant, it was necessary. There was no set precedent when it came to disbanding a faction and rebuilding it in later years, but this felt like a matter of formalities.

It was during the faction meeting that Marinette disbanded Méticuleuse, and so she herself needed to correct her past action — even if it never really stopped her followers from still following her unofficial guidelines.

The first step of doing so was holding a faction meeting, and that required a proper apology to Chloé Bourgeois (yeah, the irony of this fact wasn’t lost on Alix — Mme Bustier has consistently been badgering Marinette to apologize to Chloé despite being innocent, and here she was, doing exactly what Mme Bustier would be ecstatic to hear). Before they could move forward, they all probably need to air out their grievances, which was going to be the worst.

At least it was only Chloé who was going to be complaining.

(Félix technically needed to be there as well, but he was a special case considering that he isn’t attending Dupont and wasn’t even in France to begin with.)

So, apart from Marinette and Alix, it was just Chloé and Sabrina, and Claude Sainté-Pierre who was acting as Félix’s proxy (as he always did) who would be in attendance.

‘She’s going to be insufferable,’ Alix sighed, already feeling slightly irritated at the thought. “Would it be too late to ask you to swap me out with Rose for the meeting?”

“Absolutely,” Marinette smiled serenely, looking at Alix with a clear statement of “you’re not getting out of this that easily” — which, fair. Alix knew what she was getting into when she agreed to remain as her second. “Besides, Rose has more pressing matters to attend to from what I’m aware of, while you just have your daily bets and competitions with Kim. Ondine can easily help you get out of that by asking to spend more time with him.”

Ah. An unexpected bonus. That was also the reason why Kim didn’t seem to complain too much when Alix told him she had to bail on their race for the day, if Alix put two and two together.

Alix knew that Ondine was popular and reliable, and they both get along well enough (and Alix can say for certain that Ondine’s too good for Kim), but she never really stopped to think of her beyond that. Kim and Ondine were still in that phase of figuring out their maybe-relationship, so Alix did actively try to avoid thinking of Ondine more often than not purely because she wanted nothing to do with that.

‘It sure is convenient that Kim’s definite-girlfriend is in our group,’ Alix nodded. ‘I’m tired of all his demands for a rematch.’

“We should probably go in now,” Marinette sighed, sealing Alix’s fate for the next few hours.

‘On second thought… never mind.’

—————————— 

‘I would do anything to get out of this,’ Claude Sainté-Pierre thought, a fake smile plastered on his face as takes a sip of water.

They were sitting at one of the private tables of Le Grand Paris — something normally offered to celebrities and VIP guests. Chloé’s butler had assured them at the start that no classmates of theirs will be allowed to take a foot into the building before bowing and taking his leave.

The butler and the whole secret meeting was a bit much, but Claude was somewhat used to it. His parents were on the wealthy side, yet his family didn’t have a butler or anything — a regular cleaning service and security system, yes, but not their own wait staff. Allegra’s family had no qualms about employing maids and their own personal chef, and Allan’s family may have been similar to his, but Allan’s family had their own home studio and an indoor cinema.

Marinette’s probably the only one who would get it — Félix had the chance to go to her house when they were younger, and they didn’t have any hired help. At the bakery, yeah, but not within the house.

The sound of a glass cup thumping against the table brought him back to the conversation at hand.

Or rather… the lack of conversation.

They were seated at a table for six, with Claude kinda sitting across from Alix. Chloé was unfortunately next to him, while an empty chair remained on his other side. Empty seat, Claude, Chloé, Sabrina, Marinette, and Alix — the typical setup to prevent a faction leader from sitting next to another leader. It was mostly to prevent them from being fixated on the other person, since it often led to distractions.

Marinette and Chloé argued, Chloé and Félix would make snide comments against each other, while Marinette and Félix would, well… Claude’s not sure what to call it, exactly. It wasn’t flirting, but it also wasn’t really arguing or getting along.

Just talking, he supposes, which would make this meeting far less awkward.

“I believe you have something to say to me, Dupain-Cheng,” Chloé stated with sharp narrowed eyes, smiling.

Everyone knew that Chloé only stopped referring to Marinette by her first name ever since she stepped down from her position. Claude was under the impression that it would’ve changed once he heard from Félix that Chloé finally won.

Marinette maintained her smile, her lips twitching just the slightest bit as she relaxed her shoulders and fixed her stare on Chloé.

“Congratulations, Bourgeois,” Marinette stated. “You were right; I was wrong. You won.”

He expected as much.

For reasons beyond his comprehension, the Akuma Class believed the liar girl over Marinette for the better part of the year or two — he wasn’t paying too much attention to them, just Marinette given how haggard she was from overwork. It was even more noticeable with how their peers on the student council would always talk about her worriedly.

“I know I am,” Chloé had scoffed, leaning back into her seat as she regarded Marinette with a rather cold look. “That’s not what I was talking about.”

“And what exactly do you want to hear?” Marinette asked incredulously.

Looks like he wasn’t the only one who was confused — even Sabrina and Alix seemed surprised over the statement. Sabrina should’ve known everything about Chloé, and for her to be thrown off by this just goes to show that Claude really was wrong about the Charmante Faction Leader.

“What I want,” Chloé seemed to glare, “is an apology.”

“For what?” Marinette’s brows knit, clear confusion on her face. “For being naïve by not believing you?”

“That, and for your deplorable behaviour,” Chloé practically sneered. “It was disgusting, watching you act beneath your station.”

Alright… now she was definitely matching Claude’s memories of her. Claude was starting to think that maybe Ladybug was actually making a bigger and better positive impact than Adrien Agreste, but he stands corrected.

“Right,” Marinette dryly stated. “You’ve always been the type for extravagance like all the others who prefer to indulge in their wealth. How dare I show such a shameful side of me, for preferring to disregard status. I’d prefer to call it moderation, however. Ah, what was it again? Moderation is key, isn’t it?”

“Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous,” Chloé wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Moderation,” she scoffed, looking at her nails as if to ignore Marinette. “Well, look where moderation brought you. Acting like a mere commoner, lowering yourself as if you were a feeble servant to our peers, becoming not only a doormat, but also becoming a stalker!”

Oh… oh.

Claude suddenly had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, this was becoming personal. It was no wonder why Chloé wasn’t finding delight in Marinette’s defeat right from the get go — something that all of them had been expecting — she was pissed because of Marinette’s former fangirl crush on her friend.

Judging from the look of dawning realization on Marinette’s face, she got the memo.

“I’m sorry,” Marinette stated, looking away from Chloé. She was ashamed, he could tell that much. “I shouldn’t have let myself get so obsessed with the idea of Prince Charming. For what it’s worth, I have made strides to improve myself for the better.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” came Chloé’s clipped reply. “Adrikins is innocent and naïve — he needs someone to snap him out of it like I tried to do for you. I’m waiting until he finally opens his eyes on this whole Liar Rossi thing, because with how much he cares for the simpletons of our class, he’s going to realize that she’s the worst type of person to associate with. What he doesn’t need is to get dragged into your fantasy and unresolved issues — despite the distance, he is still my childhood friend.”

“I get it,” Marinette stated with gritted teeth. “When I realized how kind he was, he…” she sighed, shoulders slumping. “He matched my idea of a perfect prince.”

At this, Chloé leaned back into her seat once more, giving Marinette a glare. “You weren’t using him to get back at Félix for leaving, were you? Considering how similar they look.”

Oh, jeez… Claude didn’t want to hear any of this conversation for plausible deniability, but now he has no choice. This was definitely going to bite him in the ass later, because, well, for starters he’s the only guy here and if Félix says anything, it’ll get traced back to him. Sure, Alix was nonbinary and didn’t care about pronouns, but she was loyal to Marinette to begin with so no worries about breach of privacy there. Félix was unaware of the Marinette’s crush on him from back then, but there’s no doubt he knows now.

(It didn’t help much that Claude was probably the only one in the Quantic Kids who picked up on this whole crush situation. He never said anything to avoid getting on Marinette’s bad side, besides, he thought Félix was only nice to Marinette due to being all businessman-like.)

“Of course not,” Marinette huffed. “Yeah, I wanted to forget Félix, but I didn’t even realize that they were cousins until he came back. Félix is a common name, and I didn’t remember his last name beyond Graham until I saw the film with Adrien’s mother.”

“Hmph. Fine. I’ll accept that for now,” Chloé said, pursing her lips. “I won’t apologize for my words and actions. I’m still far too upset at what you’ve done to him under the guise of friendship to even want to.”

“As long as we’re done airing out our grievances, that’s fine with me,” Marinette smiled. “Now, can we finally move onto what we’re really here for?”

“Hold it,” Chloé cut in. “Sabrina, call our guest.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sabrina complied to the command, pulling out her phone.

“A guest?” Marinette blinked. “You never mentioned that another person was joining us.”

“Why would I waste my time on that when you’re going to be meeting them anyway, Marinette?” Chloé rolled her eyes. “Just wait.”

Claude, who left one of his hands in his hoodie’s pocket with his phone, finally ended the call with Félix before Sabrina could call him herself.

——————————

Nino’s not sure if it’s because he knew, deep down inside, that this was going to happen, but it’s a strange feeling nevertheless. He thinks that maybe he’s heartbroken, maybe numb, but he knows that he’s upset because he did cry in the restroom for several minutes after it happened.

Like ripping off a band-aid — hurts and then it’s fine for a while. Not great, not terrible, but fine.

As much as he didn’t want to, it’s either stick with the herd, or save the rest of his class from further manipulation.

It does hurt, though, knowing that he and Alya won’t be spending time together any more, that she’ll give him back his stuff and he’ll give hers back as well. He’s going to get bombarded with questions from the guys, and he’s not sure if that’s something he’s capable of handling emotionally at the moment.

“Nino…?” Adrien hesitantly called out, frowning with his brows pinched in concern. “Are you okay?”

He doesn’t think he is. On the bright side, he won’t be akumatized until maybe later. Can’t really say the same for Alya who just stomped off, but he expected that.

“Alya and I broke up.”

It was a quiet statement, simple, straight to the point. For the past several minutes, he’s been staring at his phone, trying to decide whether to actually drop Alya’s number like she yelled at him to do.

Huh. How long did he keep Adrien waiting? He hopes it wasn’t too long.

“What?!” Adrien shouted, eyes blown wide as he was very obviously taken aback by the news. “Why?! Don’t you two love each other?”

“We… had a fight,” Nino admits, not really wanting to rehash the last 15 minutes of his study period. But Adrien was his best friend, and he was also Alya’s friend, and Nino wasn’t gonna blind side him by making him feel awkward about hanging out with one over the other. “Rose and I finished our project early during our study period, so I went to go look for Alya.”

He should probably thank Rose for pushing him into doing it, otherwise he wouldn’t have, and then it’d be too late to do anything. She did look worried about him, when she caught sight of him heading towards the restroom, but she was with Juleka who’s been looking really pale lately.

Rose definitely knew how the conversation with Alya was going to turn out, and while he is upset at her for that fact, he knows that it’s not actually her fault.

“Uh huh…” Adrien nodded, looking increasingly worried. “What’d you two talk about?”

“It was about Lila,” he breathed, and he could see Adrien perking up at the mention of the girl. It made him feel terrible, having to break the news that Adrien’s crush isn’t as great as everyone thinks she is.

“What… uh, what about her?”

Like ripping off a band-aid, he had to remind himself. Taking in a deep breath, then letting it go as he steeled his resolve.

“I told her that Lila’s been lying to us. To all of us,” he looked away, not wanting to see Adrien’s heartbroken face. “And Alya… she didn’t believe me. She accused me of still liking Marinette and that’s why I’m siding with her. Stuff about how…” his eyes burned with unshed tears. “Lila’s been telling her a bunch of lies. About how I’m always looking at Marinette when Alya wasn’t looking, that she thought she saw me talking to Marinette after school the other day, that I was standing really close to her, like we were gonna…”

Nino took in another breath, letting it out with a sigh, willing to keep the weight of the heartbreak off his shoulders. He didn’t want to deal with getting akumatized for the day — it always made him feel worse in the aftermath.

It’s already been a bad day.

“What…?” he regrets looking back at Adrien, seeing a look of horror crossing his friend’s face. He hopes it’s for the situation that Nino’s in and not because of Lila’s lies. He didn’t know if he could handle something like that so soon after the breakup with Alya.

“I didn’t expect it either,” he smiled wryly, feeling all the bitterness bubbling up in his chest before suppressing it with a tired chuckle. “I thought that maybe…” he shook his head, his vision blurring. “Well, I guess Lila’s lies were stronger than our relationship, stronger than everything we’ve been through together, apparently.”

And oh, did that admittance hurt. Alya chose to doubt him over Lila, choosing a liar over her own boy—ex-boyfriend. She didn’t want to hear him out, claiming that he wanted to cover his unfaithfulness by throwing Lila under the bus.

“Nino, I’m… I… I know that’s not true—”

“Thanks for believing in me,” Nino gave his best friend a pat on the shoulder. “But I kinda expected this would happen if I talked to Alya about it,” he shot Adrien a weak smile. “I know you like Lila, just… be careful, yeah? I just… I don’t want you getting hurt like I did.”

Adrien said nothing. Nino didn’t blame him. Poor guy was still in a state of shock from what Nino could tell. It did make him feel better, knowing that he still had Adrien on his side if not Alya.

“Thanks for not calling me delusional. I… I know I said that I’d come hang out with you and Kitty Section today, but uh… I’m… not really up for it right now,” he gave Adrien a side hug. “Kinda don’t want to be around anyone from school.”

Maybe he’ll stop by the Dupain-Cheng Bakery on his way home. He could really use the warm hugs he’d always get from Sabine and Tom, and maybe a warm, freshly baked chocolate croissant. They always knew how to make him feel safe and at home whenever he’s had a bad day, and maybe they might have some advice for the heartbreak and—

Ah shit, Nino was definitely crying now.

“See ya tomorrow, dude,” he tugged his cap down and headed off.

Breakups are the worst.

[creacherkeeper]

for sleepover saturday (time isn’t real) 4, 5, 9, and for florence 22, 25, and 30 🥰🥰

time isnt real!!! its nearly saturday again so lets just pretend this is sleepover saturday!!!

4. What's your favorite part of DMing?

i find it all so incredibly enjoyable but i think the best part is making things that are so Targeted for pcs / players and then they go crazy over it <333 like wow i get to be telling stories that are specifically for my friends!!!! and like yalls level of investment has been sooooo rewarding it makes me more emo & feel more loved than i can say <333 ive been a creative all my life but nothing has felt as good to make as lost township

5. Do you have a favorite NPC? Or type of NPC?

evil question ,,,, and like genuinely i really enjoy most of the npcs. like i find something to like or be interested in with all of them or else why would i hand them off to yall. ive definitely spent the most time with lizzie just bc of player engagement (yall know who you are)(she did not even have a character sheet in arc 1) but i think its unfortunately obvious my favorite archetype is dyke paladin with religious trauma and many things wrong with her. and i wont apologize for that.

9. What's your favorite thing your players do?

interact with the world and the plot in ways that are less about moving the plot forward and more about really inhabiting the characters. like arc 1 was very much a contained murder mystery and i think yall still did a great job with yalls characters but were very focused on Solving The Plot and i feel like in arc 2 yall have really stretched your wings and let your characters loose in a way thats just so so fun. has it taken forever to get to plot reveals Yes but its so worth it when yalls little guys are just being insane on screen for hours at a time

for florence:

22. How do they feel about the rest of the party?

ough,,,

cass: so intimidated. but also curious? quiet middle aged woman with some sort of strange foreign magic florence doesnt recognize and i think florence Wants to talk to her but will not approach first. shes clearly going through something but has mostly been keeping to herself and florence is not gonna be the one to break that

divine: she wants to be in divines good graces so bad,,, shes a wittle scared of divine but in the like. outcast girl vs popular cheerleader type of way and she definitely thinks of divine as the leader of the group. as wolf vs deer shes trying really hard not to scare divine but is maybe showing her belly a little too much. she thinks that if divine doesnt like her the rest of the party will follow suit. just feels kind of dumb and tongue tied around her

onion: shes so fuckin scared to talk to onion now. she already just really didnt know what the vibe was and then found out onion was fey and was like cool fairies are real i guess and then onion went into the First flashback and she snapped him out of it and onion immediately changed the subject to talk to her about lizzie and let her know lizzie is okay which she appreciated but is feeling very mixed up about, especially rolling so high on onion to get ,,,, A Vibe with onionlizzie. AND THEN THE SECOND FLASHBACK HAPPENED BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO BE NICE TO HIM and now onion seems Unhappy and is Booking It and florence is like okay !! i fucked up !! dunno what to do now !! so shes probably just not gonna try to talk to them again unless they approach her first and she has a very clear direction for how the conversation should go. she feels sooooo bad but is also. Worried. not a good thing to get triggered by babyboy!!

tenny: she has no fucking idea how to feel about tenny. she knows tenny isnt human and tenny seems to have some sort of connection to animals / monsters and she knows tenny was being held captive in the blasting company so theres clearly Something going on there. but tenny is really keeping to her little squad and i think again its like. florence will talk to her if tenny approaches her first but shes not going to make first contact because her role in this group feels so tenuous already

will: shes autism imprinted on him. i think will is the only one in the group she actually just feels comfortable around and shes wondering why he's so different from oliver. she had definitely heard of him before while in silvermoon and then actually meets him and hes just very kind and caring and reassuring and shes definitely going to stick as close by him as she can. shes nervous or unsure or intimidated by everyone else there but will tried to calm and reassure her after she triggered onion and seems to be the person trying to take care of everyone on the trip. dog bonded to that sad old man. shes also hoping that if shes good with will maybe oliver will be less scary at her

25. Do they believe in love?

fucked up question. i think she thinks that love is duty & work & effort & loyalty and that its not meant to be easy or always fair but you just stick it out anyway and put more elbow grease in until it works. i think shes very used to being the one putting more of the work into relationships and does not necessarily see that pattern or that its a problem. shes dated and shes had flings but shes never had romantic love and she does not think its in the cards for her. she has her sisters back and she thinks she just needs to be grateful for that and not ask for more

30. What are their thoughts on justice?

interesting ... i think florence thinks justice is like. a nice ideal to keep in your head when youre making decisions but ultimately not a force thats like. Real. in the world. shes seen too many bad people be celebrated and too many innocent people suffer to think that justice is something that actually has any power in the world. the wolf pack is much more about Balance than any sort of actual goodness or fairness so even her temple never really purported itself as having justice as an ideal. the closest to that in wolfsden is sidewinder and florence has seen firsthand that his domain is not really enforced in any way

[demonkeeperdark]

This is going to be a loooonnnnnggggg story so I'm having to put it under a keep reading line lol

For those curious - this is a recent experience I had at a metallica weekend concert which waz the best weekend of my life

My dad had gotten me metallica tickets for my birthday in April for night one w/pantera and mammoth WVH because I had never thought I would ever see pantera in my life (Due to Dimebags tragic incident) and I had already seen 5FDP last year when Megadeth opened up for them. A few days ago before the concert I found out that we had accidentally gotten both day tickets. I was stoked because I had been thinking how cool it would be to see 5FDP again along with metallica twice in one weekend. We carefully planned out our weekend because I was not going to let my dad waste those tickets let alone we had 2 more- One for his girlfriend and originally one of his buddies who backed out. I pulled along my boyfriend since 1) hes never been to a concert and 2) metallica is also his favorite band so if he saw them as his first band I thought- well shit- if I was in his position I wouldve been fucking stoked (best part he said the weekend was his best weekend ever)

Friday morning we skipped school and work and shot immediately down to LA to avoid traffic (if you live in California or have at least driven through LA at least once you know what i mean) and had to find somewhere to stay the night and get ready for the first night.

We get to the stadium and find our seats and hear Mammoth WVH first and ive never heard any of their music and it was very good (highly recommend listening to them) and I was slowly getting more hyped. Pantera came up and- Phil Anselmo gets out there on stage in fucking board shorts and no damn shoes on his feet and hella made the entire stadium straight up go fucking crazy. So well fucking performed that night. We had about an hour wait before metallica and when they came up playing Creeping Death- like holy fuck??? Just straight up slapped in the face by this godly fucking music ive only heard in the car- on my headphones through either phone or cd player- through my record player- and now I get to hear it for real...right there...and oh my god, I felt like i was in a dream all day that day, and this wasnt even the best part of this weekend- and I felt so fucking amazed. The next 2 were Harvester Of Sorrow and Leper Messiah and it sounded so fucking good...2 very good songs I wasnt expecting them to play but holy shit- it was worth it. On came The Memory Remains- the entire stadium was singing- you could hear your own voice align with everyone elses... And then it was Lux Æterna- and then it was Too Far Gone?... It was great- it was amazing. Rob and Kirk had a little bit of a "doodle"... And they looked like they were having fucking fun. Next they played Fade To Black, and I started getting emotional...then they played Shadows Follow which is my favorite off the new album which brought my emotions back up- Just to get myself lost into listening to Orion...and Nothing Else Matters really kicked me in the feels...

Sad But True played and my bf got really hyped since it was one of his favorites off the black album, and once again i got hit in the feels with The Day That Never Comes....

And once again Hardwired brought my energy and emotions up and when Fuel hit my dad and I went full on screaming the song to each other and watching the pyro and flames go off.

Metallica all paused for a second and went...

"We have time for a couple more songs...how do you all feel about...SEEK?"

I didnt hear the first "seek", but fucking hell...my bf lit up like a light bulb...

And then fucking Master Of Puppets to finish off put that cherry on top.

And all i could think off was...

I get to see them.

Again.

In two

Fucking

Days.

NIGHT 2

Hyped as shit.

I get to see 5FDP Again.

I get to see fucking Metallica Again.

My phone dies...

So I think welp I'm fucked if I want to take photos and videos for myself but eh I get to enjoy it in person, I dont really need my phone and I cant complain about just seeing it and everyone else could record it and take photos so we could all look at it later together or something and have fun with it

It was hotter this night compared to the first, so before we ran to our seats we got drinks and I ended up cutting my hand open on a water bottle but I didn't let it bother me much

We went to our seats and started getting settled and this guy came up with what looks to be a VIP ticket slung around his neck and an envelope in his hand and goes

"Hey how are you guys tonight?"

My dad with his audacity goes

"Well my daughter got a cut on her hand from a water bottle a bit ago but this is her late birthday present and shes not letting that bring her down so I think were doing great!"

"Fucking sick!" This guy replies and says, "Hey you know what?" He puts his hand into the envelope...

4.

Fucking.

Snake Pit Wristbands.

He hands them to us along with guitar picks that my bf took so fucking many of and walks away saying

"You guys will be down there, have fun"

I start balling my eyes out.

I couldnt believe all of this was happening, we were trying to find our way down and I'm just crying while everyone was taking turns guiding me down and I stand there in this field and I look around really questioning if I'm asleep and I'm just tripping on drugs or if I'm literally in the middle of the snake pit and imagining how fucking cool James Hetfield is going to look standing there in front of me where I was standing against the wall.

I must've lost it for another 15 minutes before I came to my senses and actually started getting hyped for all this because everyone would be right there in front of me.

A few minutes later Ice Nine Kills performs and I also havent heard much of their music but they were badass, all dressed up and acting like they were killing people on stage and it looked so cool yet if you were where I was it also looked so fake at the same time but it was fucking great.

They ended and 5FDP was up next and the first time I saw them it was another situation where I was at the top of the stadium and i just saw them from a distance but now I could actually see them right in front of me.

And then they came up.

Holy shit.

I was so excited to see them again and right there that I couldn't stop jumping (literally) and I had more energy then everyone else in the pit for them to the point I had Ivan Moody, Zoltan Bathory, AND Chris Kael point at me at least once.

They started wrapping things up when Zoltan Came over, points at me, and throws a pick directly at me, and I had everyone around me trying to catch it before I did but I got it directly thrown at me and caught it and I got so happy I shook my bf, dad, and his girlfriend.

Next thing to you they played The Bleeding and Chris comes over and points at me while playing his bass guitar and we looked at each other and both lip sang to the song and I got more excited over that then getting the pick.

When they started leaving the stage he came back and gave me his sweatband that has his last name imprinted on it and I couldnt fucking take it.

It was so fucking cool and badass and I didnt stop wearing it till a couple hours ago when I could finally put it somewhere safe.

Everyone started crowding in for metallica and we all started getting crowded in, and once AC/DC's A Long Way To The Top started playing everyone got really excited and hyped and crowding in more.

Everyone also started looking at Jason Mamoa amd taking photos of him in the snake pit with us before metallica came out.

After Metallicas long cutscene/intro finished they came out and played Whiplash...

If I had just reached as far as I could I could've touched Hetfields foot thats how fucking close I was to him.

At that point I couldnt even explain song by song how amazing it was, I was just rocking out and I couldnt stop, it was so fucking cool and amazing and I couldnt stop jumping again and throwing up the devil horns it was great.

End of the show they were doing theyre out to and throwing everything out and my bf got one of their picks and I started having that verge of tears again because I still couldnt believe what I just witnessed.

Not only did I get rare collectables from 5FDP, but Metallicas crew gave us pit tickets to make everything possible and that proves how fucking amazing they are.

Best weekend of my life, I couldnt be anymore grateful.

[just-some-random-blogger]

rise and shine, lovely classmate! have a nice day (or whatever)! 'omg you need lenses' yeah... i still got questions like 'are you wearing your lenses today?' from people who know i cant see without my glasses and do wear lenses. every time im just ???? 'are you an onion?' you never know... i feel sorry for these times so i say it?.. remember the first time i learnt sorry means both apologizing and feeling bad for smn, i was bros these are different words wtf... 'you were attacked?' I MEAN. shes the clingy type of drunk. shes pretty touchy in general. and YES my poor pretty butt was ATTACKED. yesterday she slapped it so unexpectedly i dropped my phone... '[pets head]' meowmeow. 'i wonder why languages thought it was a good idea to make words fem and masc' ig like ive said half logic and half why not. probably some traditions of patriarchal society that language just absorbed, maybe just logically the forms of other words that were paired with pronouns kept stable with others. we never TRULY know. maybe just a crazy king said i want to refer to a girl as neuter (its been years but still german wtf). 'ur so mean' take it after my catmom. 'why am i a baby?' 1)youre a baby 2) youre so clueless abt su so youre a baby in it TT 'im so sorry. it was like an expression' OH its ok no need to apologize so much. i see now. youre educational. but english IS indeed a rat. sorry not sorry. 'i wonder what ur teacher said' AJAHDJF no we didnt talk abt it... BUT my classmates who never even opened the book were SO loud about 'knowing its about a kink'. they were even proud? to not think 'properly' and searching for the meaning witch literature usually does but understanding its about 🤩SEX🤩 SO big brained of them. men yuck. they can and must go touch yellow snow. but after the lesson we still talked a lil abt him being worldwife and being kinky in literally 'the encyclopedia of russian life' as one lit critic said. WHAT THE cat drama do you have there TT tbh im so sorry for them all TT none of these pure creatures deserves to suffer from a life like this. 'you dont have to give me fic ideas everyday' still dont take all my words to heart. i know i dont. i wouldnt be able even if i wanted to💀 if im sincere or sarcastic in russian then theres a comma after sorry but if not then i try to make it less serious. witn the absence of a comma... nvm. id give you that daemon idea i teased you already as soon as your dream brainrot ends. even if its enDLESS gsijgerg sorry. 'read and fear follow war' so true so unfortunate. 'russia would come and bonk me' well not all russia. st. petersburg has a rather humid-ish climate, as i know, Far East (basically the east of russia as well as the northern(?) part of the continent. it has a common border with china so the asian influence is pretty big) is humid too. dryness is the feature of places with low temperature. everywhere. 'at least you can see the stars better' does it worth struggling with health problems?? like... the salaries in the north are higher just bc of the risks living here has💀. but i dont end up with completely bad stuff!! that meme you replyed with ”𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤… 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐬.” HGJDJFJF rhaenyras' ass must be as little as laenor's efforts to make an heir.... I WANTED TO SAY THIS PUN SM. also? ive finished hotd's bts and. i confirm that i hate rhaenyra (esp young. sorry milly). as the character. shes absolutely irresponsible, reckless and spoilt. she had everything and still was what? why? its not a new thing for a princess in the fiction to be tired and wanting to 'live alone'. but rhaenyra was showed to not do these things?.. like she merely needs to pour wine and she still flies away? remember, im judgemental. i understand her character. and understand her intentions. but i personally dont like people like this (ESP after seeing how shes comparable to my ex-friend who screwed me a couple of times bc of her irresponsibility and talked shit abt me🤩). in this case im absolutely alicent. anyway. have a good day! good luck with all of your plans! luv u! take care <з

MY BINGBING HOLA <3

HAHAHAHAHAHAH LOOOK AT DIS CAT

rise and shine, lovely classmate! have a nice day (or whatever)!

i read this in the morning but i had class and did homework and a fic so its night now HAHHAHAHAH

'omg you need lenses' yeah... i still got questions like 'are you wearing your lenses today?' from people who know i cant see without my glasses and do wear lenses. every time im just ????

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOL press f to pay respect. f. i cant related i got 20/20 vision 🤩 this is where we differ

'are you an onion?' you never know...

i feel sorry for these times so i say it?.. remember the first time i learnt sorry means both apologizing and feeling bad for smn, i was bros these are different words wtf...

HAHAAHAAHAHAH i mean theyre different in filipino too but i get where theyre coming from lol. what a judger 🙄

'you were attacked?' I MEAN. shes the clingy type of drunk. shes pretty touchy in general. and YES my poor pretty butt was ATTACKED. yesterday she slapped it so unexpectedly i dropped my phone...

omg aslfhasfhlashfsaosafhsaf AHAHHAAHHAH. f. at least your ass is pretty (;

'[pets head]' meowmeow.

'i wonder why languages thought it was a good idea to make words fem and masc' ig like ive said half logic and half why not. probably some traditions of patriarchal society that language just absorbed, maybe just logically the forms of other words that were paired with pronouns kept stable with others. we never TRULY know. maybe just a crazy king said i want to refer to a girl as neuter (its been years but still german wtf).

DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY [SHOOTS MACHINE GUN] that king is so L. DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY [rATATATATATAT]

'ur so mean' take it after my catmom.

): no you dont, im not judgy like you

'why am i a baby?' 1)youre a baby

2) youre so clueless abt su so youre a baby in it TT

k

'im so sorry. it was like an expression' OH its ok no need to apologize so much. i see now. youre educational. but english IS indeed a rat. sorry not sorry.

i dont nearly apologize as much as you do so /: let me apologize T_T im glad i taught you that at least, albeit confusing you first

'i wonder what ur teacher said' AJAHDJF no we didnt talk abt it... BUT my classmates who never even opened the book were SO loud about 'knowing its about a kink'. they were even proud? to not think 'properly' and searching for the meaning witch literature usually does but understanding its about 🤩SEX🤩 SO big brained of them. men yuck. they can and must go touch yellow snow. but after the lesson we still talked a lil abt him being worldwife and being kinky in literally 'the encyclopedia of russian life' as one lit critic said.

stOP BOYS ARE SO YUCKY MEN ARE SO YUCKY THEY LIKE THIS ALL OVER THE WORLD BOOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO 🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🍅🍅🍅🍅🤢🤢🤢🤢👎👎👎👎❌❌❌❌ i remember many instances where this has happened in class never opened the book or listened but knows all the lewd stuff about it /: and so yuck. but still EW ABOUT THE YELLOW SNOW booooo 👎

WHAT THE cat drama do you have there TT tbh im so sorry for them all TT none of these pure creatures deserves to suffer from a life like this.

yeah BUT I SAW THE PAWLESS CAT TODAY my granny named him Tol, short for Putol which means... like broken? chopped? AHSFK>HAK>SFHAS lol at least hes not dead

'you dont have to give me fic ideas everyday' still dont take all my words to heart. i know i dont. i wouldnt be able even if i wanted to💀 if im sincere or sarcastic in russian then theres a comma after sorry but if not then i try to make it less serious. witn the absence of a comma... nvm.

T_T DAMN THAT WAS SARCASTIC ur so dry /: LOL i guess i will never believe you again. ever. never ever ever. 😭✊

id give you that daemon idea i teased you already as soon as your dream brainrot ends. even if its enDLESS gsijgerg sorry.

ur pun. lahsflhafasfhah ok. also, i love dream im not going to stop my brainrot anytime soon i think, OH OH OH BUT YOUR STORY IS IN MY QUEUE NOW!!! IN THE KEEP!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND THEN AFTER IS P3 OF THE MODERN DAEMON AU T_T AS:FASFASF: IT ONLY TOOK 5THOUSAND YEARS BUT ITS HERE

which one do you want me to do first btw? i havent written in the keep at all but i am like... halfway done with the p3 so if you want i can finish that first. nah i;ll just finish that first so i can post it tom HIHIIHIHIH

'read and fear follow war' so true so unfortunate.

😞.

'russia would come and bonk me' well not all russia. st. petersburg has a rather humid-ish climate, as i know, Far East (basically the east of russia as well as the northern(?) part of the continent.

🙃so waht if its humid if its like negative degrees ???? aslahsfasf

it has a common border with china so the asian influence is pretty big) is humid too.

oh! wow ur so right i was think of like the '-stan' countries i forgot china is huge and close to russia too lol HAHAHA

dryness is the feature of places with low temperature. everywhere.

wait so you mean st. petersburg is warm? sus

'at least you can see the stars better' does it worth struggling with health problems?? like... the salaries in the north are higher just bc of the risks living here has💀.

damn

but i dont end up with completely bad stuff!!

well im glad! lshddsglhsdgds stay safe and take care always ok

that meme you replyed with ”𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤… 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐬.” HGJDJFJF

MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR WHEN I SAW THAT LAHLAHSFLKASF WHAT IS THAT ALSHFALHFLASHF LOL HAHAHAH

rhaenyras' ass must be as little as laenor's efforts to make an heir.... I WANTED TO SAY THIS PUN SM.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ok my love T_T i hope youre satisfied.

also? ive finished hotd's bts and. i confirm that i hate rhaenyra (esp young. sorry milly).

RIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP POOORRRR MILLLYY HAHHHAAA

as the character. shes absolutely irresponsible, reckless and spoilt. she had everything and still was what? why? its not a new thing for a princess in the fiction to be tired and wanting to 'live alone'. but rhaenyra was showed to not do these things?.. like she merely needs to pour wine and she still flies away? remember, im judgemental. i understand her character. and understand her intentions. but i personally dont like people like this

yeah no youre so right. she does live in a world of privilege so i understand where youre coming from. i mean they're all born from places of privelage so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk i feel neutral for her, and everyone, or at least i think i do cos its been a while since i finished the show and all remember is mmm yum daemon mmm yum aemond mmm yum yum yum HAHAHHAH

(ESP after seeing how shes comparable to my ex-friend who screwed me a couple of times bc of her irresponsibility and talked shit abt me🤩).

emotional baggage who lasfhlakhfhas HAHHAHA. i hope youve found peace within yourself about her. i have had my fair share of ill wrought feelings and its genuinely better to forgive i find

in this case im absolutely alicent.

good for you. she cray too, everyone is, but im glad you found your favorite <3

anyway. have a good day! good luck with all of your plans! luv u! take care <з

i think ill finish editing my song cover tonight. or at least i hope i do.

im luv u so much thank you for dropping by today <3

xxx

[earth2068]

I'm not sure if these questions has already been asked or not, but:

1. What inspired you to start your webcomic?

2. Do you have any early concepts or old character designs?

3. Do you have any scrapped scenes that you've had to/ decided to cut from the comic?

I hope you're enjoying your car trip! :D

1. well, ive had the story half-baked in my brain through most of high school, but it wasnt until i was in vacation in oregon the september after i graduated high school that i was like "yknow what? i have enough writing experience now, and i dont have a project going on at the moment, and if i dont start working on something soon, i will surely lose my sanity and commit a crime" (it was near the beginning of the pandemic and i go crazy when im not working on a project), so, on a whim, i opened a google document on my phone and started writing the first chapter with no outline. it is a very good thing i was scripting this ahead of time and could revise it later because otherwise the first chapter would be much worse on account of being written by someone incapable of giving a fuck about proper writing procedure at the time. this was followed by me writing more and more chapters, and by the time i was halfway through writing chapter 6, i was like "hey, i should probably start drawing this" and then on november 1st 2021 the comic officially launched. so, to answer this question in totality... boredom-induced mania?

2. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many. viridian used to have a crush on vermillion, at one point i was going to start the story with the ARACHNID kids (including flynn) already knowing each other, SPI used to look a lot more like B-MO from adventure time, etc. this tends to happen when youve had the story in your brain since you were 14 and the characters since you were 10-12. however there is a reason i dont have those old concepts/character designs anymore and it is bc i dont like them ._. but ill drop these old flynn doodles from before i revamped his design

old art beloathed -_-

3. same answer as 2! there are lots of deleted scenes that i either didnt like or just felt like they wasted time. as we go further into the story, ill probably point out the parts where they wouldve gone. i already mentioned this in the discord, but the scene with lucille in verms car used to be a bit longer and ended with flynn saying "is that a death threat"

[keytomythoughts]

Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1

Chapter Index 

»»—————————————-　

Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 

I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.

(Binnie)

R u still on the train?

                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins

(Eunuwu) 

Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?

                                                                                                                      Funny

                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it

(Binnie)

:/

What about Jaehyun?

                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh

                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit

(Eunuwu)

Damn, rough

                                                                                                                        Mhm

(Binnie)

Try talking to them, u never know

They might change their minds?

                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end

                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream

(Eunuwu)

Doesn't sound so bad

(Binnie)

¬_¬

(Eunuwu)

Except for the crying part ofc

But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad

I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice

(Binnie)

U’ve been to her house??

                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too

(Binnie)

Righttt forgot lol

                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere

                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal

(Binnie)

That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna

But hey we should all hang soon!

(Eunuwu)

I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?

                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(

                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then

(Binnie)

Aww I miss u toooo 

(Eunuwu)

*puke*

                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous

(Eunuwu)

Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?

Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already

And personality 0:)

                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single

(Binnie)

LOLL

She got u there bro

(Eunuwu)

Shut up

Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf

Idiot

(Binnie)

At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 

                                                                                             See? My point exactly

                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy

                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker

(Binnie)

He made a couple of em cry I heard

                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?

                                                                                                                         YAH

                                                                                                               U MORON

(Eunuwu)

Bin wtf

(Binnie)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??

                                                                                              Those poor girls omg

                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u

(Binnie)

Me 2

(Eunuwu)

Wtf?? Y???

(Binnie)

No reason lol, just feel like it

                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie

(Binnie)

:D <3

(Eunuwu)

GROSS

                                                                                                        Can it u demon

                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM

I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 

Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 

That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 

Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 

Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  

My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.

“What?” 

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”

I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”

“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”

“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”

He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 

There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”

“Yeah, give or take.” 

I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 

“What, you miss me?”

He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 

“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”

“Shut up.”

I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.

“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”

I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”

“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”

“Oppa!”

Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   

He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.

As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.

God knows where I’d be sent to now.

***

“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 

That’s my stop.

Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 

Four long years away from Seoul...

Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.

It sure as hell feels good to be back home.

I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.

“Hyuna, over here!”

I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”

He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 

Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.

He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”

I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”

He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.

“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 

I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”

At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 

“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 

“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 

What can I say? It’s a talent. 

He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.

“Welcome home, sis.”

I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 

“Good to be back,” I whisper. 

We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 

He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”

“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.

“Can I—”

“No.���

“Please—”

“Nope.”

I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 

“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”

Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.

With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.

My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  

[newtedison]

my thoughts on the crank palace

i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy

1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later

2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in. 

3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...

4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt

5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it

6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...

7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.

i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think

(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)

[x1uizy]

lmfao i kept putting off my woodz album review for so long for some reason 😭 but anyways here we go

(ive already listened to it a few times but im relistening in order to write this)

1. multiply

did we know that he was gonna do english songs????? anyways this is very chill, i like it! not my fave style from him but i wouldnt turn it off if i was just relaxing. also im glad that the lyrics make sense because that can be...rare 😅

2. thinkin bout you

i really enjoy this song but um. im also aware that its the type of music i imagine shawn mendes to make although idk if thats true. and this realization bothers me a lot 😭😭😭 but its seungyoun and i love the guitar and the vibes so whatever 🤪

3. sour candy

i think its cute!!! not exactly my favorite on the album but i dont think theres really anything wrong with it at all? dont ask me why but i feel like a girl group should cover this song, itd be so cute 🥺

4. kiss of fire

good, love the bgm (because bass and guitars lol). once again not my personal favorite but i can see myself listening to it a lot at the same time. i could hear a bunch of these on us radio including this one

5. chaser

my favorite....by like a lot 😅 hes serving the woodz-weeknd hybrid i always knew he could 😌 my only critique is that i wish this couldve been a tt in like. jan - march and then the rest could be on a repack. i kinda cant believe hes not promoting this one, its too good 😭😭😭

6. waiting

i wanna just say that i really enjoy albums where the title is not the first song. idk, it just feels like the order actually means something then? but ik thats not really true, its just how i feel. as for the song itself: i like it! i dont necessarily understand it as a tt but definitely moreso than others. i think that this album as is, i would put chaser as the tt with waiting as the promoted bside, but thats just me. this whole album was like. (a specific type of) guitars and bass and if a song has those two things i like the song, i just cant help it. so i like this song just like the others even though i dont have anything interesting to say about it. also, do the parts when he says "why u make me crazy?" and the like sound like "boy u make me crazy" to anyone else???? like i hear why when im looking at the lyrics but boy when im not 😭😭😭 i was like oh???? 👀 until i saw what the lyrics were lmfao

anyways u might be able to guess but song rank:

chaser > waiting ≥ thinkin bout you > sour candy ≥ kiss of fire > multiply

album rank:

woops >> equal >>>> only lovers left >>> set

although every single one of those albums made it to my top albums of 2021 playlist so.

...did i even do a review for set??? 😭 if i didnt, long story short: i think its very good but a bit boring. kinda stays on the same register the whole time, not unlike only lovers left

title track ranking (not comprehensive because i never remember which pre produce tracks were titles):

bump bump >>>>> love me harder >>> how have you been ≥ baby ride ≥ different ≥ feel like ≥ waiting

as for the a1 woodz playlist...i have to think about it. chaser definitely makes it, waiting probably does, as does thinkin bout u, but i have to relisten to the others more. i suspect they all might make it though. we'll see

sorry this isnt as interesting a review 😭 but im interested in hearing what other people think so feel free to lmk wherever!

[ally-writes-many-things]

I don't date Cops (J. Halstead) P2

Summary: Will is trying to convince you to go on a date with his brother which you didn't want to do until you spent some time with him without knowing he was Will's brother.

Words: 1224

Requested: yes/no

Prompts:

Warning or A/N:

"Set it up or give him my number,"

Will stops dead in his tracks and looked at you. "What?"

You rolled your eyes. "You heard me,"

"But you said-"

"I know what I said. Just do it,"

"Alright, I'll set it up,"

"Thank you,"

---

It had been two days since you met Jay and told Will to set it up but you haven't heard from Will or Jay so you were thinking that Jay wasn't interesting. Which didnt bother you.

You saw Will walk in hand in hand with Natalie. You looked at them confused, last time you checked, they were on the outs. "CFD Plan 2. Mass cass,"

"Dr. Y/L/N and Dr. Halstead, I need you. Trauma three,"

You quickly put your gloves on as the paramedics came into the E.D. "What do we have?"

"12-year-old male, crush injuries, severed artery, massive blood loss. Got a tourniquet on his right leg. Tried to intubate but couldn't get his jaw open. He lost his pulse on the ride,"

" Put him on our monitor and rapid transfuser. Grab 4 units of O-neg, and start with a round of Epi,"

The paramedics looked at you. "Already hit him with the Epi times two,

"Still no pulse. He's in fib,"

You did the best you could to save his life but you just couldnt save him. "Time of death 8:31,"

You heard a heart shattering scream, you turn your head and what you could guess it was his parents. "THATS MY SON!"

Will patted the dad on the shoulder. "Im so sorry, he was to far gone for us to save. We tried of everything,"

You walked out the room, throwing your gloves in the trash. But quickly putting clean ones on. "Where do you need me Maggie?"

"Trauma 2,"

You walked into the room and this time it was a little girl. You looked at the paramedics. "Left AC, obvious femur fracture,"

"Good distal pulse. It's blown. Sweetheart, we're going to take good care of you,"

The little girl cried out for her dad. "You have to go back for my daddy! I love my daddy!"

You looked at Maggie. "You know anything about that?"

"Pretty sure her father was loaded. Must've been sent to Sinai or County,"

You nodded and looked back at the little girl. "Okay, sweetie, look, you see this lady right here?"

"Uh-huh,"

"Her name is Maggie. She can find anybody, anywhere, okay? I promise she'll find your daddy for you,"

"Better believe I will, hon,"

-

"It was only an hour and a half,"

You were looking at the bloody E.D when Maggie walked up to you. "What?"

"It was only an hour and a half,"

"We mustve treated two dozen patients and youre telling me it was only an hour and a half?"

She nodded.

You were just exhuasted beyond anything you ever felt before. You felt as if you could sleep for months. "So what exactly happened?"

Maggie shrugged. "From what I was told some asshole purposely caused a multi car pile up,"

"What? Why?"

Maggie shrugged. "I don't know,"

"Dang this place is a mess,"

You turned around and saw Jay walking through the E.D. "Yeah, its been a long hour and a half. Im guessing you're here to question the victims?"

Jay shook his head. "No, we already got the suspect in custody, my boss is still questioning him though,"

"Oh, I'll page your brother then,"

"Not here for him either. Here for you,"

"Me? Why?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you were the girl Will was trying to set me up with?"

"I didn't even know you were Will's brother and then when I found out, he got slammed and I didn't see you after that,"

Jay was quiet for a second. "So how about that date?"

"Yes,"

"I wouldve said tonight but after seeing the E.D, how about tomorrow?"

"I'd like that,"

Jay smiled. "I'll see you then,"

Jay said his goodbyes to Maggie and then walked out. "Good choice, that is one fine man,"

You chucked and went to check up on a patient.

--

"Let me get that for you,"

Jay went to your side and pulled the chair out for you and then pushed you in. "What a gentleman,"

"I try,"

"So Will tells me that you were in the milltary?"

"Yeah, I was in the Rangers. Saw some messed up things there and lost some good friends but I wouldn't change anything if I had a choice to go back,"

"Is that why you joined the police force?"

"Yeah, after I got out, I still felt like I didnt do enough to help people, so I joined the Academy. A few years later, I got shot in my arm working undercover and I got to choice if i wanted to stay where I was or go to a new elite unit and I chose the elite unit,"

"Thats sounds cool but also like it hurt,"

Jay laughed. "Yeah it did. But your turn, what made you go into medicine?"

You sighed. "My dad died when I was younger and we were in the hospital probably over 50 times from the time I was 10 to 11 and saw how hard they tried to save my dad. I also saw a lot of doctors working their magic and save a lot of people's lives. I couldn't save my dad because I didn't know how to and so I decided that I would help others by learning medicine and becoming a doctor,"

"Oh I'm sorry for your lost. What did he die of?"

"A rare disease that only 1% of the population gets so they had no cure or no idea how to treat it,"

"Oh I'm so sorry,"

"It was a long time ago. He wouldn't want me to be sad over it,"

You and Jay had spent the next 2 hours talking about everything big and small. He was now walking to you to your door. "Im resisting the urge to kiss you right now,"

You looked at Jay. "Don't resist it,"

He smiled and kissed you.

----

"I swear Jay, if I had to keep looking for more clues, Im gonna-"

You cut yourself off. You were leaving a voicemail on Jay's phone because today was your one year anniversary and he decided to make a scavenger hunt of all your past dates and things memorable to your relationship. It was cute at first but this hunt had like fifty parts to it. You just wanted to kiss and hug your boyfriend at this time.

You put your phone down and smiled. There was Jay in the middle of a beautifully lit clearing on one knee. You walked up to him and he started. "Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, Ive known you were the one since the first day I met you. You are the only person that makes me feel like I can breathe in this crazy world. Youre the first thing I think of when I wake up and youre the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. You're everything. Will you do me a favor and accept my last name and marry me?"

You nodded yes, not trusting your voice. Jay slides the ring on your finger.

[kyovtani]

ASKS

hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33

BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE

– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset! 

BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!

AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH

OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!! 

OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM

IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2

AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!! 

HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2

thank you for the food <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!

YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this

I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!

OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY

Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((

Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing

Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!

the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.

honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33

The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!

@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN

THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH 

UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔

YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH

@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)

AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33

pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵

thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much

bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^

thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah 

zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔

believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3

I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!

Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !

Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱

THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah

Wait did he do anything with Sora?

nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!

YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭

i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it! 

@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.

✌🏼&💜

—sora—

aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!

@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH

AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM 

How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though

oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it! 

AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much baby!!<33

U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U

AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH 

I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰

sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3

Hana is a baddie

SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3

@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness

YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3

I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!

-💕 a very satisfied reader

thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!

i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞

NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!

i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me

pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side  😌

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[brushes-of-sage]

Alchemy. It was the only thing that was uniting the princes of Arendelle. While a door had separated the two brothers for the past five years, Hugo found a way to still stay connected to his brother. It all started three years ago, when Hugo realized he was running out of things to do. Oh sure, there were plenty of things in the castle, but that number reduces *significantly* when you realize there’s no one to do these things with you. So, Hugo decided to take up alchemy again. (1/?)

Alright lemme try to see if the keep reading works:

He had stopped working with alchemy when Varian had disappeared behind that cursed door, since alchemy was just another painful reminder of the brother he felt he lost. It was one of the brothers' favorite things to do, along with… along with... well, Hugo couldn’t really remember. The more he tried thinking about things he did with his brother that wasn’t alchemy, he got nothing, just laughter and a small headache. But, the number of things to occupy his time were getting thin.

So, he decided to give alchemy a try. This turned out to be a great decision. Not only did it serve as a distraction, but it served as something to keep his mind going. This distraction worked well for a few weeks until he hit a roadblock. He was trying to perfect an alchemical ice bomb that he had started when he was younger, but could never finish. But nothing seemed to be working. After staring at his disaster of a note pile for the better part of an hour, a little voice in his head said,

“You could go to Varian for help”

“No,” he snapped back, “If Varian wanted to help me or be there for me, he would leave his room. Clearly he doesn’t want to talk to me, or anyone for that matter.” Hugo didn’t want to admit it, but he was starting to get a bit mad at Varian. They were the best of brothers for years, and then just one day, Varian just shuts himself in his room, without a single word as to why. He laid his head on his desk and sighed. “Ah, who am I kidding? I’m going crazy just sitting here, I need to talk to someone, even if its nothing more than alchemy notes.”He gets up, grabs his notes, and starts to make his way to a door he passed by and stared at a million times before. On the way though, his mind is going through a back and forth battle: He wont wanna talk to you! Yes, he does, we havent spoken in forever! I wonder why? Besides its just some alchemy help, I’m not asking anything too extreme! All he has to do is fix a couple equations! What if he tears it up and ignores it, just like he has you these past few years? After this comment, Hugo ended up backtracking back to his room. He’d go tomorrow. Right?

Wrong. It took him three weeks before he found himself staring at the door that plagued his existence for two years now. He raised his hand to knock, and before he could back out, knocked twice and slid the notes through the crack under the door. He started anxiously pacing, his mind going back to the constant battle in his mind that had been raging for the past 3 weeks. After a couple minutes of pacing, Hugo was just about to leave when he heard 2 knocks, and paper slide back under the crack. Instantly, the flurry of anxious thoughts started up again, worrying it would come back blank or with a note saying Varian wouldn't help him. His hands shook as he opened the notes to reveal.. the completed solution. He read the solution 2 3 4 times before a huge smile spread across his face and he laughed a huge genuine laugh he hadn’t used in two years. These notes meant 2 big things: One, he finally had a solution to an alchemy problem he’d had since he was nine. And two, the more important one in Hugo’s opinion, is that his brother doesn’t hate him. That scary thought had crossed his mind multiple times and he had always quickly shot it down, but there was always that one tiny voice who would always say, “But, does he though?” Now, that voice was as good as dead. Varian didn’t hate him. He wasn’t giving him the *total* silent treatment. Maybe he could work up from here, have conversations through the door, send notes, maybe even ask why he was doing any of this in the first place.Just as he’s about to leave for his lab to finish the ice bombs with the now completed formula, Hugo heard two knocks on the door and stopped. He wasn’t expecting anything else. He looked at the bottom of the door and saw a small stack of papers slide under and he picked them up. It was a stack of alchemy notes titled “Melting Bomb” The notes were full of blank spaces and question marks and there was a note attached that said:

Hugo-Please assist me in completing this formula for a melting alchemy bomb. I have been on and off of this project for the past few years, and some assistance would be much appreciated. Thank you.-Varian

As excited as Hugo was that his brother was reaching out to him, and actively looking for his help, he couldn’t help but feel a bit…disappointed at the formality of the note. As if Hugo were some stranger that Varian had just met and had to put up formalities and not his own brother. Nevertheless, he shouts a quick “Be right back!” and dashes off to his room to grab a quill and inkwell. While he runs, he reads over the notes and finds the answer fairly quickly. It wasn’t all that hard, it just was in desperate need of a fresh set of eyes. He scribbled down the answers as quick as possible, not wanting to keep Varian waiting. He runs back to Varians room, knocks 2 times and slips the notes under the door. After a couple of minutes, he hears a soft gasp, the quick scratching of a quill, and a new note being shoved under the door. Hugo picked up the note and stared at the messy handwriting and smiled. This was the big brother he remembered. Thanks for the help! Now go work on your project! This went on for the next few months with notes. Sometimes it wasn't just alchemy they talked about. It started simple, like “How’s your day going” and things like that.

Then it slowly evolved to things like “Get some rest Haristripe” and “You haven’t eaten yet today have you, Hugo?” (Both weren’t exactly the best at self care, especially when they were caught up in their work). The day Hugo finally heard Varian talk was one of the best days of his life. Obviously, he had heard his brother talk before, but it had been years since they had spoken, and as the time passed, Hugo’s memories of Varian’s voice faded. Plus, with the time passing, he knew his voice would have changed. So, when Varian finally said a soft “Thank you”, Hugo’s face lit up with a huge smile. He didn’t talk much, but when he did, Hugo treasured every word he said, committing them to memory. For a while, things were going great. Until one fateful day, when Hugo pushed his luck just a *bit* more than he probably should have. The day started out normal enough, Hugo worked on some experiments he didn’t finish last night, ate some lunch, and then after lunch he grabbed his notes that needed Varian’s help, and started making his way to his room. However, on the way, he realized that as happy as he was to be able to talk to Varian, it didn’t feel *right*. A relationship based solely on notes slipped under a door and minimal verbal talking felt like a false one. What Hugo wanted to know more than anything, was *why*. Why had Varian shut him and the rest of the world out? If it was so necessary, why hadn’t he at least attempted some form of contact? This one word question had plagued Hugo’s mind ever since the door had closed, and he had never really had the confidence to ask it: until now.

So, he went back to his room and wrote out a letter. It was simple, a little more formal than usual, but to the point. It read: Varian- We’ve been talking with each other for a while now, and I feel we are at a point where I can ask this question: Why? Why have you locked yourself in your room and away from the rest of the world? Was it something I did? You can answer as vaguely or specifically as you like, I just would really like some answers. Thanks, Hugo

His hands shook as he folded the letter and slid it under the door. He knew to give Varian a little extra time, this wasn’t just a simple math problem. So Hugo waited. And waited. And waited, until it was dinner time and his stomach forced him to get some food. The whole time, his mind was at war with itself once again: See? You just had to push your luck, didn’t you? He’s giving you the cold shoulder ‘cause you couldn’t leave well enough well enough. No! He’s not giving me the cold shoulder, he’s just taking his time to formulate a response. It’s probably a really long story. Keep telling yourself that. I will! ‘Cause it’s true! If the positive side of Hugo was right, Varian sure was taking his sweet old time, because it was 3 weeks before anything happened. Three weeks of absolute silence from the older prince. The only reason things changed was because Hugo took the brave first step of sliding alchemy notes through the door. Five minutes later, it came back with notes and edits. There were no additional quips, remarks, or any explanations like he had requested three weeks earlier, but this was better than silence. They soon fell back into the routine they had before: notes, minimal verbal communication, and various quips. It felt good to get back to that routine, but a small part of Hugo still ached for answers that he feared would never come. But he never acted on this, fearing that Varian would once again give him the cold shoulder, and this time would ignore him for good.(20/20)

((And there it is! The final part! I hope u enjoyed reading it, this is the first time ive really written something i didnt hate *and* am sharing this with someone. Thank you for taking the time to read this, this means more than u know. Thank you also for letting me take over ur inbox😅Next up im doing this story but w/ varians pov, which ive already started. Thx again! -💙

Ahhhhhh, first off, sorry for getting to this later than I usually do!! These past few weeks have been hectic and I’ve been needing to take a step back and focus more on school and classes and stuff, but I finally got to reading this and OMIGOSH I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

(Hope you don’t mind if I just added in some italics and kinda changed the formatting to make it easier to read - didn’t take anything off or anything, but the way tumblr formats asks is a bit weird lol, hope that doesn’t offend you! - also number 7 somehow went missing? 😅)

But OMIGOSH YO - just my heart akfjajdjaj 🥺 The two of them building their relationship slowly through passing letters underneath the door? Oh my heart, and the way you can just feel them getting closer and happier because of it?

But then Hugo asking Varian the why - why did he shut him out, why was he behind the door, why can’t they see each other - and then Varian just suddenly going back to that stiff and formal demeanor after that akfjakfjja I cry ahhhhhhh-

“But he never acted on this, fearing that Varian would once again give him the cold shoulder, and this time would ignore him for good.” - JUST RIP MY HEART OUT BLUE NONNIE AHDKGKAKJD

I absolutely loved seeing Hugo’s hesitance then excitement and eagerness to get closer to his brother whom he barely even knows besides a few memories (and ha, I see the headache there 👀) and only to see that he went too far and the fragile bond they’d forged again had melted and akfjakfjaj the FEELS-

Thank you for sharing and for letting me read your writing! I’m excited to see what you’ve got next for Varian’s POV!!! 😱