#IM NOT ONE FOR SUBTLETY IF YOU CANT TELL ALREADY.

[michellekyura]

THIS IS FUCKING TERRIBLE I DONT WANT ANYMORE SPECIAL INTERESTS IVE ALREADY GOT 3

[darkniters]

jschlatt whos a bartender

im adding onto this post

your group of friends all leave one by one, leaving you the only one of your group left in the bar, waiting for your lift home (because you cant drink drive!)

you decide not to drink anything else, having your fill for the night and just ready to conk out the second your head hits the pillows.

youre reproached by the bartender, youve been sitting at the bar while you wait, not thinking one person is worthy to occupy an entire table. he greets you with a smile.

“you want anything else?” he leans forward as he asks this, smile on his lips. you shake your head, leaning in closer again.

“no, no, im done for the evening, thank you though!” you can tell yourself its because you dont want any alcohol in you all you want, but really its because that shit costs money.

“hey, if you want i can make you something alcohol free?” he offers, “it’d be my honor, and i’ll even make it on the house. just for you toots” he grins, subtly flirting with you

a roll of your eyes and a small chuckle leaves your lips. “alright, if you insist.”

it seems as if this bartender cant stop smiling, as he moves away, he’s got the widest smile youve ever seen from a person, teeth showing in all their pearly glory. he briefly walks away to get a glass.

while he’s gone, however, the universe decided that you’re its next victim.

a man approaches the chair beside you, and sits himself down. theres a strong attempt from you to pay him no heed, to focus on the man behind the bar making your elaborate yet alcohol free drink, but this man is in dire need of your attention it seems, staring you out while you look forward.

you sigh, turn towards him, and give him a small, unmotivated smile.

you’re not really listening to what he has to say, but he does say “whats a place like you doing in a girl like this” which is just. not right. at all. it makes you laugh though.

you don’t care about this guy enough to listen to him babble on about himself, and it seems the same comes from the bartender, finishing your drink and setting it infront of you.

while the guy doesnt seem like trouble, youre still wildly uncomfortable, and you give a sideeye to the bartender. his brown eyes are already on you, as he scratches the side of his face. the beard below his nails make a noise.

he understands your look, and he nods subtlety.

“hey man, this is my girlfriend youre speaking to. may wanna back off a bit.” the bartender says monotonously. he then reaches out his hand and grabs ahold of yours, gripping it softly.

the other man is surprised, probably just as surprised you are. you play along though.

“yeah sorry, i just wanted to see this man on shift, cant get any better than a man in uniform, right?” you regard cheekily. although its brash, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

his tight fit black shirt is doing something to you, and he’s now looking out for you? you gotta come back here more often.

the bartender grins as the man leaves in a huff, giving up on his attempts to further advance with you. at some point, his fingers began to run left to right over your knuckle, without either of you noticing, it seems.

when you look back to him, his face is red, still gripping your hand. he clears his throat “apologies, i didnt mean to go to that level of extreme… in which saying we were together…” he seems flustered and embarrassed that he thought of that, and he physically cringed at himself for even bringing it to light.

he attempted to move his hand away, but your clamp on his hand was stronger. the heat between you two couldve melted the ice in your still undrunk drink. you cant help but smile. “i didnt mind at all, thank you.”

both of you are overjoyed that there are more than one bartenders working tonight, because everyone else wouldve been left waiting, your red faces looking into eachother as your hands stay pressed together.

he clears his throat.

“um. its not often time i find myself asking this but. can i give you my number?”

you pretend to think, lifting your unoccupied hand and tracing a finger around the rim of the drink he made for you.

you respond quietly, jokingly, “only because you paid for my drink”

a smile is exchanged between you to. he writes his number on a napkin, and leaves you to put it in while he runs off to server other customers, his eyes often looming back over to you while you drink your final drink of the night.

you call him over before you leaving, letting him know that youre going.

“please let me know when you get home!” he calls out as you walk away.

you turn your head and smile his way, giving a quick nod and a wave his direction.

when the bartender finishes his shift, he finally gets access to his phone again, you shouldn’t have your phone with you behind the counter! you’ll get distracted easily!

he sees he has 3 messages from an unknown number

‘hiiii im home btw :]’

‘wait i didnt give you my name oopsies‘

‘anyways GOOBDIGHT’

he cant help but let out one of those large grins he does, hoping he will see you at the bar, or other places, again soon.

[mtonette]

i wanted to mention personality but my thoughts are the messiest in the world. hes just some guy as far as i know there. the meteor gave him ghost powers but it didnt affect his ability to grow as a person. which is cool . i think that the way i am is sort of the same as my body was. i wont be any different without an outside influence . but whether or not thats an all people thing is probably a really debated thing?

identity is a lot more abstract than a body can be though. you can still close wounds on a body that doesnt heal itself . but after four or whatever years of being thirteen. i kind of just end up at all the same spots

green man sitting here while i try for the millionth time to contextualize myself in the living and the dead. ghost trick i think what they did with yomiel that man is dead a hundred percent stuck in time. like as far as his body goes? you cant cut into it, and if you do itll revert to how it was before. cos thats how it was then, and now is then.

im pretty sure even canonically he fucking hates that. cos sissel (fiancee) is gone there isnt really anything for him except like. revenge. you got home too late it doesnt exist any more fuck it up for the people who made it that way or whatever. i wonder what would happen if you try to cut his hair.

like it doesnt really matter for me anymore since my body that was hated by time was burned up and over. yomiel is between life and death and hes untouchable for it but that isnt the experience i had at all and id describe it the same way. if like is like an ebb and flow then i had an ebb and he would have neither

if your hair is cut itll grow, if your skin is cut itll scar, unless youre dead. so maybe i was just more on the dead side of the stuck between life and death? able to move and feel for at least a little while. yomiel couldnt feel. but he could move. and he didnt have a heartbeat either. your touch will have an effect but the fingerprint is thwre forever as opposed to it having never been there in the first place. and i wonder what any of that mwans

[hayaku14]

hiii!! i think youve mentioned that you're not the biggest fan of receiving asks because they can be hard to respond to and i hope im not being a bother!! but id like to drop some kaishin brainrot here in ur inbox if thats alright! if not totally feel free to ignore this lol

a thought for the scrunklies... i cant stop thinking about shinichi getting affected by cases and their outcomes so i will apply this thought to kaishin: a victim who resembles kuroba in some away leaves a hard strain on shinichis heart.

kuroba doesnt know about this case, but he does pick up on the subtleties on how shinichi is way closer in proximity than usual. more cuddly, more clingy. perhaps after we could have some heist angst idk... but the thought of whatever causes the reaction isnt important. what's important is: shinichi's lips start to quiver and its unavoidable, he starts to sob in front of kuroba. heavy breathing and blotchy tears, hes clinging to kuroba with such a strong grip that it starts to physically hurt. one thing leads to another and shinichi ends up in his lap, clinging to him and quietly crying into his neck while kaito rubs his back, murming; "i love you, great detective," or "i know, i know. s'okay now..." kuroba never sees him cry so he eventually starts to silently cry too. they just end up sobbing into one another.

i need someone to envision this w me and youre the kaishin brainrot god soooo <3

WHAT?!?!? WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!!?!?!??!? Was it me? LOL.

Noooo, I LOVE asks!! Send them any time! It's not that it's hard to respond, it's just that I'm often late at replying lol so I feel bad about it but if you don't mind waiting for me to reply then ask away!!! (Speaking of, this is also kinda late I'm sorry lol ;-;)

I WILL NEVER IGNORE KAISHIN BRAINROT

AND OH MY GOD YOU SENT ME ANGSTY KAISHIN BRAINROT???? I FUCKING LOVE YOU ANON

I absolutely LOVE the idea of a case hitting a little too close to home for Shinichi. It's not just for Kaito too. There's a child kidnapping? He hangs out with the detective boys. There's a serial rapist going around that targets young women? He constantly checks up on Ran and Sonoko.

For Shinichi to break down like that though, he must've been building it up for quite a while. I can only imagine that it's an ongoing case with several victims already. All probably similar to Kaito.

Megure wants to take him off the case because he knows Kaito is his boyfriend but there's no way Shinichi is gonna stop trying to catch a criminal who's targeting people with the same profile as Kaito.

Kaito must've seen Shinichi deteriorate too. Long cases always take a toll on Shinichi but Kaito can see that this one is different. For one, Shinichi seems determined not to tell him details other than asking him to be more careful and to just take a cab if he's going home late (Kaito would’ve been insulted for the lack of faith if not for how worried and distraught Shinichi looked). There's also the increase of coffee intake, the sleepless nights. The nightmares. (Also the increase in skinship and clinginess like you said!! the image of clingy, worried, and upset shinichi is too cute i want it so much lol).

He’s clingy and attached to Kaito by the hip whenever he’s around but for some reason Shinichi can’t look at him in the eye for too long. How could he when every time he see Kaito he remembers the bloodied remains of several victims that looks like him? How could he when he isn’t even close to catching the murderer that threatens his whole world? How could he when every time he looks at Kaito’s eyes, so full of love and life, he can almost see them staring at him: unseeing, dull, and lifeless.

Shinichi is frustrated because cases that he’s involve in don’t usually last this long and for some reason it had to be a case where there’s an actual threat to the love of his life. He’s tired, upset, frustrated, and little desperate to catch this guy already cause he’s about to go out of his mind with worry.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust Kaito to take care of himself. He does. It’s what he loves about their relationship. It’s what helps him sleep at night. But being bombarded by images of lifeless bodies that resemble Kaito while helpless to actually do something about it is haunting Shinichi. He trusts Kaito, he does. But he also needs control. He has to find this guy and make sure no more harm will come to anyone else. Especially Kaito.

Maybe what triggers Shinichi's breakdown is Kaito finally confronting him about it. There’s no way Kuroba Kaito of all people would see this happening and not do an investigation of his own. Extracting information is as easy as breathing to him after all. He asks Shinichi’s friends. He digs around Division 1. He knows now why Shinichi is acting like this. But a part of him wants Shinichi to tell him himself. 

Still, Kaito would've brought it up sooner but this case was different that he was sure Shinichi would've deflected rather than communicated properly if he pushed. Kaito sees that it's gone too far though and decides to confront him. 

“Shinichi, you need to talk to me.”

“Talk about what?”

“I know about the case.”

Shinichi’s eyes widen for a second and looks away. Kaito reaches for Shinichi’s hands and squeezes.

“Shinichi, look at me.”

“Please?”

Shinichi turns to look. He’s unsure and unsteady but Kaito’s gaze holds him firmly in place. Kaito lets go of his hands to hold both of his cheeks in a gentle caress. For the first time in weeks, Shinichi lets himself sink deep into Kaito’s gaze.

“Hey,” Kaito says softly as if trying not to spook him, “I’m here. I’m safe. I promise I’ll be safe. So please? Talk to me, Shinichi.”

Like cracks on a dam, Shinichi’s eyes water. His are brows furrows deeply and his jaw shut tight in stubbornness but he holds Kaito’s gaze, not yet ready to turn away after weeks of depriving himself of deep vibrant blue. He tries to will the tears threatening to fall away but Kaito’s gaze is so warm and safe and so so alive that he couldn’t stop even if he tried.

“Oh Shinichi.” 

Kaito’s voice is soft and gentle but it pulls something deep in Shinichi. It’s too much. Shinichi’s lips quiver, closes his eyes, and finally lets his tears flow. 

And then after that is what you wrote!!! The part where Kaito wraps Shinichi in his arms and Shinichi starts sobbing and clinging onto him like a lifeline. Kaito whispering sweet nothings and reassurances that makes Shinichi hold onto him tighter. And when Shinichi chokes back his tears to whisper back, “I just...I can’t lose you, Kaito. I-I can’t,” Kaito finds himself fighting back his own tears.

AAAAHHHHH ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR THIS GOOD FUCKING FOOD <3333333

[crowning-art]

TGCF SPOILERS FOR BOOK 3!!

But before I get to what dots I connected...

Holy omgGG the chaos, the waters, the rescueee jefnwojn I literally CANNOT wait til this arc gets animated its INSANEE

I need a fashion show staring Hua Cheng

Xie Lian closed the communication array down and turned to Hua Cheng. “San Lang, over at the East Sea…”

Unexpectedly, the moment he turned his head, he saw Hua Cheng had already changed into a refreshing fisherman disguise. He tossed up the dice and caught them as they fell. His other hand was on the door, and he said straightforwardly, “Let’s go!”

It's so cute how he was already prepared ejfnoewnlq

I noticed something..

He laughed. “I’m not anyone unrelated, I’m only following my highness.

HE SAYS MY HIGHNESS NOT HIS HIGHNESS WHEN ADDRESSING XIE LIAN DIWBFJNOWJNF IM CRYING I CANT, THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME

I really can't imagine what Shi Qingxuan must be going through, but like is it fair that all power should be stripped away???

Shi Qingxuan clenched his right fist. That hand used to hold the Wind Master fan. With but one swing, it could’ve provided a tailwind, making the ship go at least four times faster. Yet now, the hand was empty, and he couldn’t help but exhale a long sigh.

it kinda hurts :/

Oh. my. God. OH MY GOOOD

It was a funny feeling. Hua Cheng was clearly taller than him, and it took him no effort to hold Xie Lian up with one hand, yet Xie Lian always felt that he was light as a feather; like if he didn’t pay attention, Hua Cheng would disappear. So, Xie Lian’s grasp was firm and tight. Hua Cheng, too, clutched his hand back at the same time.

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT'S NOT- I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY IT JBEFBEOFJNLQNF IT'S IN THE SOFT TOUCHES, IT'S IN THE KNOWING WHAT HE WANTS BEFORE HE ASKS FOR IT, IT'S IN THE MIRRORING ACTIONS OF LOVE BETWEEN THEM, IT'S IN THE STRENGTH THEY GIVE EACH OTHER AND SECURITY OF KNOWING YOU AREN'T ALONE, IT'S IN THE SUBTLETY OF IT ALL EJBFKJEFEJFN iM IN TEARS THIS SCENE JUST KILLED ME

I get all the other cute stuff is like aww cute, but there's something about this line that I don't know, it just enamored me

I- ugh I hate him (said with minuscule affection, very VERY minuscule)

With his hands, Pei Ming used all that water to slick back his hair

You see? THIS IS WHY I HATE HIM

In such a situation, Pei Ming still acted the same. In the evening, when they rescued a few fishermen girls, so scared their eyes were blurry from tears, he held them in his embrace and soothed them with a gentle voice; a true show of honeyed romance, affectionate and charming.

SEEE????? REASON NUMBER 22 WHY I HATE HIM (no, it's not the hair slicking, it's the rude interruption, but like also the hair sticking, plz stop)

Pei Ming heard them whispering to each other, and he slicked his hair up again.

“Have you two made some discoveries? Why don’t you leave your little world and tell the rest of us?”

YOU GO HUA CHENG

Pei Ming raised his brow. “This little buddy sure knows a lot.”

Hua Cheng mirrored his expression and replied, “It’s not much. You just know too little, that’s all.”

This made me laugh lol

They couldn’t possibly build a coffin, then off a person in the group and toss them in there

THE LITERAL IMAGERY, IM IN TEARS

Ming Yi was standing on top of the handle of a shovel, while Shi Qingxuan was sitting on the head of said shovel, waving at him

fine...credit for one scene. but like ONLY ONE SCENE

Pei Ming was a master swordsman. The moment when he sensed killing intent, his hand reached for his sword, only to realize said sword was under his feet. Luckily, his reaction was quick. With a leap, he grabbed his sword in mid-air and sliced the incoming creature in half.

Before gravity could take control, he flipped back onto the sword, with not a single hair out of place.

T-T

Xie Lian nodded. The familiarity of this scene suddenly brought memories of a similar situation that had happened not so long ago. Instantly, he felt his face heat up. With one hand wrapped around Xie Lian, Hua Cheng used his spare hand to stir and leisurely glide through the water.

“Gege, hold on to me. You’ll sink if you let go

HUA CHENG LOL NO-

“Gege, now you know. If you’re gonna get any pets in the future, definitely don’t consider those ones. They’re useless trash.”

But like this psycho would ACC get him one if he asked for it sbdqlibfifb

AND OMGGG WJBFIFBNWO:FJN

OOOOHHHH MYYYYGOOODDDD ITS MY FAVEEE SCENE IVE BEEEN WAITING FOR THE CPR SCENE FOR YEARS AND ITS HERE FBIWJBFOWJBFOWFN OHHH MY GOD IW{NFOWNFOWNF IT WAS WORTH IT SO WORTHHHH IT!!!!!!!

THE PATIENCE PAID OFF!!!!! JOWFNWFNOWFNO# IM CRYINGG #UHFF FNOF# OHIO#WJNFKJWN

Literally that one animatic/storyboard done by melt strules is like 80% of the reason why I love it so much and If you haven't seen it, IM LINKING IT RIGHT NOW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNSNrx1etew

Ok. Ok. I've calmed down not really but like enough to coherently type up the dots I've (hopefully) connected.

So they said, Shi Wudu switched Shi Qingxuan's destiny with someone who matched in gender, day, month, and time born and had the name Xuan. We saw Scholar He who is out to get revenge because his fate was switched....which means his name was Xuan...He Xuan.... Ship-Sinking Black Water....

(And I knew this from centuries ago that earth master was He Xuan thanks to fanart lol)

BUT WHAT THE HECK WHAT THE HECKKKK WHAT THE HECK MING YI/HE XUAN WAS THE ONE WHOSE FATE WAS SWITCHED WHAT THE HECKKKKKK THIS IS INSANE SO ming yi is seeking revenge but they were best friends...what happened to best FRIENDS for life bfffl 😭😭😔 what about the friendship bracelets they exchanged, what about the girl codeeeee to never betray your bff????? Did u learn anything in your middle school life???

Clearly I lost my mind, plz don't mind me, IM just trying to calm down with all the cute stuff and plot twists, and as evident, I really can't

Oh man, poor poor Shi Qingxuan, I literally cannot see how much more worse it could get for the Wind Master after this is revealed, like it literally cannot...oh boi

ALSO, in retrospect, Xie Lian really connected the dots, I'm the slow one who put it in words lmao

But wow, what a wild ride haha

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

[soleconfidante]

was tagged by @midnightin, @fiveyaaas and @jubberry, thank you sm !! 🌼

rules: tell us a lil bit about the fics that got ya started, the vibe fics, the gateway fics, the ones that made you think, “oh shit......I ship it.”

im tagging @andthebalance, @apocalypsefive, @pbmarshmallowsandwich, @eh-meh, @hellstenglow and anyone who might want to gush about the fantastic fics that we have in this fandom :^)

i must say that by the time i started reading fics i had already been a fiveya enthusiast for a bit BUT these are some of the firsts that i read and they definitely sparked more of my love towards the ship

a storm you can weather by rappaccini

i remember this being my introduction to fiveya fics and i couldnt have picked something better bcs it left such an impact on me that i have to read it again every now and then. the atmosphere is perfect, i could see everything described so clearly in my head and i adored this “grittier” take on vanya. the ending always makes me smile after all that angst. what i mean to say is you absolutely cant miss this one (or any of the other works by the author for that matter). “He goes to Griddys, and takes a butter knife to a gunfight.” [chefs kiss] outstanding line. its also a character study that is incredibly well thought-out. 

the pull of you by sweetheartbitterheart

AHHHH so many feelings about this one, a whole classic imo. regency au, served the whole p&p vibes and more. super talented author once again. i was holding my breath or giggling like a dumbass at ALL of their interactions throughout this, the prose, dialogues and subtleties are delicious. side-characters on point too!!!!! 

Nothing Will Ever Be Enough by fiveyaaas

well, it wouldnt be a fiveya fic rec without tori who is always blessing the fandom w/ their works. this was the first fic that i read by them and some time later i can say without a doubt that their smuts and fics as a whole never fail to deliver, this is def an uhhhhh intense and angsty one for sure. god tier, the jealousy was delightful. 👀👀👀👀 sparrow!five/vanya/five, enough said.

nearly didn't notice the gentlest feeling by sweetheartbitterheart

another one that i cherish a lot... actually, let me just go ahead and pretend this is canon instead of s2. it captures the vibe that five and vanya have in the show so well, their tenderness makes my heart combust. “So you still love me?" she tries to play it off as teasing but there's a hint of insecurity in her voice, some shyness in her smile. Five can't allow that. "Of course I do.” YUPPP the tears are falling forever after that. also the hargreeves dynamics here are portrayed wonderfully, vanya remebering what she did to allison for example was heartbreaking and a cathartic moment we deserved. also ben knowing all along is too real lmao.

klaus at the end was the cherry on top obviously, big same. 

[justsomefluff]

OMG I LOVED that reaction you did, and the scenario like thing was really good!! I loved it, thank you!! Can I request another reaction (mini-scenario)? Like ATEEZ confessing to their crush while they (ATEEZ) are drunk? (San said Yeo does aegyo/is cute when drunk I'd like to see this ^^)

This is so cute, I would pay good money to see them tipsy no lie lmao. also this is fluff and crack at the same time so...I hope you like it lmao

Hongjoong:

(^ he’d do this during a drunk confession you cant change my mind ^)

Okay so when he’s drunk I feel like he sees himself as being really composed and cool

but in reality... not so much

and, even if he hadn’t been planning on confessing to you

oh boy, his body starts shaking a lil and you’re low-key like... 911?

like his body is telling him to ABORT MISSION but once his drunk brain has made the decision there's no going back

So, in his mind, this is what he’s saying out loud okay

“Y/n, I just wanted to let you know that I have some serious feelings for you. I know you may not feel the same way, but I just needed to tell you.”

Super awesome, everyone wishes to be that composed right?

Well here’s what he really said:

“Listen here, you cute mother-, no I shouldn’t swear at you, my bad. I’m totally in love with you right? Watchu think bout dat?”

and then he’s quiet, and smiling bc he’s proud of himself and you’re just like um????

like that’s not how you imagined this would go

But you also know that he’s gonna be super embarrassed about this in the morning so you just say

“Let’s talk tomorrow, Joongie?”

and he smiles at the nickname and nods and kinda puts his head down

You honestly cant wait to tell him you feel the same when he’s sober

and make fun of him for getting wasted

Seonghwa:

so Seonghwa, unlike Joong, is actually pretty composed

like at first, he’s wildin’ and everything

but then he just calms down super fast

like so fast you get whiplash

and he just smiles at you and you’re like “...freak”

then he frowns and he’s like “I like to look at pretty things that make me smile”

“You make me smile too, Hwa” :)

then he just grabs you into a hug and starts swaying you guys side to side

like some awkward and forced middle school slow-dance 

“What are you doing?”

and he shushes you to preserve the moment but you're like “I want answers”

then he finally leans his head down and his lips are brushing the shell of your ear so softly you barely notice

“I think I love you”

he strikes me as the kind of person who wants to confess but also isn’t ever 100% sure he wants to confirm that he loves you so he throws that “I think” in there to cushion the blow if you reject him

but, luckily for him, you do feel the same

you just turn your head ever so slightly to the side and peck his temple

he smiles and rests his head on your shoulder and squeezes your hips before wrapping his arms around you completely

“I kinda need to hear you say it”

“I think I love you too, Hwa”

Yunho:

okay this big ole baby right

I feel like he’s the kind of drunk who is crazy for a little bit but gets tired really fast

so after like an hour of insanity, his eyes are drooping and you’ve settled on a couch (or seat, wherever your location might be)

and he smooshes his cheek into your thigh and you’re totally aware that he’s gonna fall asleep on you

but you’re cool with that, I mean who wouldn’t be

and after a couple minutes of silence, you think he’s knocked out completely

he suddenly turns his head to look up at you

and you look down at him to ask if he’s okay, or if he needs anything

he just starts laughing and then this IDIOT

pokes your double chin (bc I mean why does he have to look at you from that angle) and goes “How is it that I like you so much, even your double chin is cute?”

part of you is like “omg he likes me” and the other part of you is like “...im gonna slap him. don't talk about my double chin”

so, given your inner turmoil, you're silent for a minute and he starts to pout

“you don’t like my double chin?” and he makes a double chin and grabs your hand to make you poke it

“say you like my double chin too, please”

“Yunho, I like you too... double chin and all” (you had decided that you are not going to slap him after all)

and thats kind of the end of the night bc after that crackhead confession he actually falls asleep

but you are lucky enough that he remembers it all the next morning and it becomes kind of a thing in your relationship to make double chins at each other then say “I love you” 

Yeosang:

drunk Yeosang and aegyo here we go

whiny baby voice and big eyes and pouting all the way

like he’s not so much into doing the cutesy actions like finger hearts and stuff

but refers to himself as “Sangie” and talks about himself in third person too

CLINGY

not necessarily cuddly, but always has to be holding your hand or else he’ll cry

calls you pet names like Jagi and my love and stuff

and at first you’re like aw he’s a cute drunk and tease him a little bit

but then he pouts even harder and murmurs “I'm serious”

you’re like O.O

“you mean it? you really like me, Sangie?”

nods his head furiously like you seriously think he’s gonna get a concussion for about .5 seconds

like okay I get it, you mean it, please stop doing that your head is not a maraca

“I like you too”

cue the biggest, goofiest, toothiest grin you’ve ever seen

makes big ole fishy lips at you, and points at them to ask for a kiss

so you just give him a quick peck, bc you don't really want either of you to be drunk for your first real kiss

but that satisfies him for the time being :)

San:

Sannie best boy, I cannot stress that enough

the sweetest lil drunk okay

tries to take care of you even though he’s the drunk one

thirsty? he’s gonna get up and get you a glass of whatever you want even if he spills half of it trying to give it to you

hungry? he’ll get you some if you agree to share

so halfway through a tub of ice cream he decides to lay some truth on you okay

“I like my ice cream like I like you”

and you, of course, having seen that meme, respond with “ugly?” and you cackle at your own joke

but he’s so offended

“apologize to yourself and this ice cream”

“wtf? why?”

“because ice cream is the second most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen after you. apologize”

literally holds the tub of ice cream up to your face, and will literally carve a sad face into the ice cream to make you apologize quicker

and when you apologize he eats the sad face and draws a smile

sentimental cheeseball is all he is in that moment okay

“you really think I’m pretty?”

he looks at you like “...duh”

“I think you’re pretty too, Sannie” and he smiles so big :’)

and both of you know that this would be the start of a really happy relationship aww

Mingi:

I bet Mingi is the cutest drunk okay like if you thought he was a giant puppy before get ready you aint seen nothin yet

and you don't even get a warning before he confesses bc he says it so out of the blue

like his whole plan was to drink some liquid courage iykyk and then he was gonna confess

but he ended up getting a lil more tipsy than originally intended

and he just blurts it out and he’s stuttering and lisping and just struggling to get all the right words out

but you just think it’s super endearing

“Minnie, are you drunk?”

he starts blowing raspberries in the air and starts shaking his head “you think I’m drunk?” 

literally hiccuping after every word lmao

like yes, Mingi, I think you're drunk

still blowing incredulous raspberries all over the place

and you blow one on his cheek and he starts giggling like the baby he is

“why you do that”

“bc I like you too, Minnie! also you were starting to spit and I needed you to stop that”

he giggles and nods at you, just happy that you feel the same way

nuzzles his head into your shoulder and plays with your fingers for the rest of the time youre together

Wooyoung:

okay he’s a crackhead already so I don't even think alcohol would be something he’s even offered most of the time lmao

but when he is all hell breaks loose

no subtlety about his confession at all

like he literally screams it at you

he had been paying extra attention to you all night, which you didn't even notice bc you liked him too and never imagined he felt the same

so you’re like he so friendly and clingy when he’s drunk

but five minutes later he’s like “DID YOU KNOW IM IN LOVE WITH YOU”

and you’re so taken aback because

1.) he just screamed in your face

2.) he just screamed that in your face

and then he’s quiet and just staring at you, waiting for a response

you’re so dumbfounded that all you say is “you too”

but thats enough for him

“GOOD THATS AWESOME”

and thats basically the end of the conversation bc he gets easily distracted

you have to remind him the next day that that conversation had even happened actually

and he’s like “oh yeahhhhh”

then you’re able to actually talk about what you both feel and be almost normal for about ten minutes lmao

Jongho:

since he’s on the quieter side compared to the rest of the group, I think this shows even more when he’s been drinking

but it’s almost concerning how quiet he is

like if you had never seen him drunk before you’d probably be really worried

and that’s exactly what happened

you went to check on him to see why he wasn't joining in the fun and he looks at you, a little teary from the alcohol

or maybe he’s just deep in his feels who knows

we’ve all been there amiright

and he’s like “just like you a lot you know that?’

you’re like “I was most certainly unaware of that, sir”

and he apologizes??? like why???

“I like you too, doofus, why are you sorry”

then he smiles and means it for the first time that whole night

he feels like he could crack all of the apples in the world he’s so happy

side-note: he probably could break all them apples fr

so basically you just made him the happiest apple murderer in the world

he’ll break all the apples for you baby

[avengerscompound]

The Unicorn - Chapter 14

The Unicorn:  A Pepperony Fanfic PREVIOUS

Series Masterlist

Buy me a coffee with Ko-fi Word Count:    2075

Pairing:  Tony Stark x F!Reader x Pepper Potts

Warnings:  Sex talk.  Pregnancy

Synopsis:  The three of you go house shopping in New York to see if you can find something you’re all happy with.

Chapter 14

Over the next few weeks, things ramped up a lot.  There was another ultrasound to be had at 8 weeks and Tony and Pepper were determined to figure out where you should all live that gave the best options for school and work.

You seemed completely nonplussed on the issue.  You still went to Avengers training in the early morning and you continued going to your lab in the afternoon.  Just now before you left you seemed to struggle with the thought that you might throw up first.

By the time of the eight-week ultrasound, you weren't just thinking about it.  You had to factor in an extra ten minutes for throwing up before you made your way down for the dawn run.  It never stopped you though.  If you could go to training hungover a little bit of morning sickness wasn't going to stop you.

The strange thing was that Pepper seemed to be suffering with it too.  Initially, the three of you had put it on her just not handling vomit very well.  It wasn’t a totally uncommon thing that when someone threw up it might set someone else off.  Pepper had never been the weak stomached type but it was possible worries about the pregnancy was already making her slightly nauseated.

By the time of the ultrasound both Tony and you were teasing her about it being sympathy vomit.

The ultrasound went fine everyone was excited to see the twins again.  They still kind of just looked like a weird blurry picture of packaging peanuts.   Tony did still feel both relieved and excited when he heard the fast squish-squish sound of their heartbeats.

After the ultrasound, the three of you went to the first of the choices for the new home.  New York City.

When Tony had made the move to the compound he’d dissolved all his property.  Avengers Tower had become the Baxter Building.  It was probably the least practical course for them because it would mean reopening a branch of Stark Industry so that Pepper had an office and you had a lab, buying a home, and possibly opening a branch of the Avengers if you were set on remaining on the team after your maternity leave was up.

Tony had booked them the penthouse suite at the Gramercy Park while they looked at options.

“Dalton.  That’s the reason.”  Pepper said.  Her heels clicked loudly on the garish marble floors of the Upper East Side mansion they were inspecting.

The house was hideous.  The ‘American Renaissance’ period of architecture was a travesty.  The whole place, with its marble floors, chandeliers, ceiling murals featuring cherubs and gold scrollwork, looked more like a museum than a home.  It was dated, to say the least.  And dated to a period of opulence with no taste or subtlety.  All Tony could think was apart from the library which he’d keep for Pepper (the murals would have to go), the pool and the cinema, he’d gut the whole thing and start over.

“I don’t know, Pep.  It could have 100 Dalton’s but there’s no yard…”

“There’s a roof garden.”

“You want the twins playing on the roof?”  He said raising an eyebrow.

“Right, of course.”  She said heading into the kitchen.  “This is nice.”

“Yeah.  Very light and spacious.  I still think… I’d have to invest at least a cool billion to have us set up and even then it wouldn’t be right and it doesn’t feel like a home.”  He said running his hand over the floating kitchen island.

“What do you think?”  Pepper asked turning to you.

“I don’t love it.”  You said.  “I mean, doesn’t it scream masked orgy to you?  I bet naked asses have been all over everything.”

“Oh yeah.  I thought it looked familiar.”  Tony teased.

“God, you’re disgusting,”  Pepper said, whacking him.  Tony laughed and rubbed his arm.  “Well, we don’t have to get this one.  There were more options.”

“Yeah, but they’ll all be either Townhouses or Penthouses.  They won’t be where we can teach them to ride their bikes or run around with their dog.  We’ll have to take them to the park every time we want to do something like that.”  Tony said.  “Plus there’s the other investments involved.  S.I. is upstate now.  I’d have to reopen here.”

“The Avengers.”  You added.

“Yeah, I moved that because it was unsafe to have it just - in the middle of the city.”  Tony agreed.

Pepper pursed her lips.  She didn’t like that you wanted to stay with the Avengers the same way she didn’t like that Tony wouldn’t give up being Iron Man back in the day.  “We can consider it though right?  That’s what we’re doing here?  Looking at each option and picking the best?”

“Yeah, you're right.  Being here is better than in the compound.”  Tony conceded.  “I don't know how big the pull to Dalton is compared to just buying land near the compound and building exactly what we want though.”

“There aren't any schools around the compound though.”  Pepper complained.

“Start your own one, Elon Musk style.”  You said.

“We are not starting our own one like Elon.”  Pepper said sternly.

“I don't know… Maybe we should.  Give another incentive for people to stay on if it was more family friendly.”  Tony said with a shrug.

“Tony…”  Pepper sighed.  He knew that tone so he dropped it.

You went out to the balcony and looked out over the park.  Tony came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.  “It is a cool city though.”  You said.

“I won't argue that.”  He agreed, kissing your neck.

“Can we get out of this house?  I feel like I'm in a museum and the temptation to just touch everything for no good reason is making my fingers itchy.”  You said.

Tony chuckled and his hands ran over your stomach.  It was still far too early to show.  Even so, he loved that he could touch you and know that his children were in there and it wouldn’t be too long until he got to hold them.  It helped put that nervous impatience he felt in check.  “I’d gut it if we bought it.”

“Oh, yeah?”  You said turning in his arms.  “Not the library.”

“No, but that mural for sure.  I’d make it more shelves.”

“Oh, tell me more.”

“All the ugly ass marble and gold would go.  I’d change the light fittings to something sleeker but still a feature.  I’d keep timber as a feature, but make it less ornate.  Sleek lines but the timber would make it feel more home than office like.  The art would be modern but not surreal.  Maybe some Warhol and Pollack.  Maybe include some impressionists to break it up.  I’d install FRIDAY obviously.  The kitchen would be a similar layout but modern.  White and black.  Granite tops not marble.  I'd make the first floor about entertaining and the top two for us.  Bedrooms.  Living room.  That would be our family space.  It would be warmer colors.  Colors that take mess more.  I'd put a lab for us in the basement.  Probably a garage too but I might keep my of my collection out here.  There would be an office for Pep.  A gym.  I'd keep the cinema and the pool.”

You grinned and pecked his lips.  “Your mind has been racing even though you don't want this place.”

“Well, I mostly just want my girls to be happy.  If buying this eyesore makes you happy, then I’m happy.”  He said.

“That’s sweet.  But it won’t.  I don’t even think Pepper is sold on it.”  You said pulling him back inside.  “God, that bathroom is going to be in my nightmares.  The green marble toilet.”

Tony laughed.  “Yeah, that would be first to go.”

They made their back inside and found Pepper coming down the stairs followed by the real estate agent.  “Okay.  Let's go.  I think I’ve seen enough.”

“Good.  Let’s get something to eat.”  Tony said.  “I’m feeling Gray’s Papaya.”

Pepper scrunched her nose.  “I think the smell would make me throw up.”   She said.  “If you want local let’s go to Katz’s.”

You looked her up and down.  “You’re gonna need to dial in this sympathy sickness thing or see a doctor because I feel like you’re stealing my thunder.”

She scowled.  “I’m not doing it on purpose.”

“So, go see a doctor.”  You pushed.

Tony followed you outside where Happy was waiting with the car.  The three of you slid into the back seat and Pepper huffed.  “I just… it’s only in the mornings or certain smells.  It’s got to just be some weird sympathy thing.”

“Maybe you’re actually pregnant,”  Tony said.  He’d meant it as a joke but as soon as the words were out of his mouth it was like something clicked into place.  Maybe she was pregnant.  He couldn’t remember when she last had her period, and they’d been tracking it regularly right up until they did the first IVF run with you.

“Ha-ha, very funny, Tony.”  Pepper snarked.

“But maybe you are pregnant, Pepper.”  You said.

“You do kind of look like you’re glowing.”  Happy added looking in the rearview mirror.

“No.  How could I be?  We did all that IVF.”  She stopped talking and seemed to try and count something off on her fingers.  “How could I be?”

“Hap, stop at a pharmacy and get some pregnancy tests would you?”  Tony said.

“You got it, boss.”  Happy replied and swerved the car around, double parking it outside a CVS on Lexington.  He jumped out and ran inside as horns sounded behind him and someone cursed them as they went around.

“But… we couldn’t.  It wasn’t working.”  Pepper said.

“I can’t explain it Pepper, but it’s possible, right?  It would explain this.”  Tony said.

“How come you get glowing and I get a breakout on my jaw?”  You snarked.

“The glow is oily skin.”  Pepper said absentmindedly.  “It depends on how dry your skin was to begin with.”

“God damn it.”  You cursed.

“What will we do?”  Pepper said looking at him.  “We already have twins.”

“Triplets?”  Tony said making an exaggerated shrug.  He was pretty far from actually being worried about this.  He was actually pretty excited at the thought of the possibility of a large instant family.

“Does it count as triplets if two different people are carrying them?”  You asked.

“I don’t know.  I mean, they’re genetically me and Pepper and they’ll be due roughly the same time.” He mused.  “What counts?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s housed in the same uterus.”  You said.

“Can we please argue about that when I’m not freaking out”  Pepper groaned.

Happy ran back out and jumped into the car passing the paper bag back to Tony.  “Hotel?”  He asked.

“Yes, please,”  Pepper said.

“And can you swing past Katz’s after.  Get us some Matzo Ball Soup, a garden salad, and a Reuben.”  Tony added.

“And Knish.”  You added.  “Potato ones.”

“Sure thing.”  Happy said pulling back into traffic.

He drove the three of you back to the Gramercy and Tony lead you and Pepper back up to the Penthouse.  Pepper was in full panic mode by the time they got upstairs and rushed straight into the main bathroom and locked the door.

“Are you okay in there, Pepper?”  You called, leaning on the door.

“Yes, leave me alone to pee in peace.”  She called back.

You snorted and moved to Tony.  “Well then,”  You said.  “I bet she is.”

“I’m not taking that bet.”  He said.

“Oh go on.  A billion dollars.  I’ll bet you a billion dollars.”

“What do you need a billion dollars for?”

You shrugged and flopped down on the couch.   The door opened and Pepper slumped out.  “Positive.  There wasn’t even a wait for lines to show.  It was right away.”

Tony rushed to her side and pulled her into a hug.  A second later you had slammed into their sides and hugged them both tightly.

“Oh my god, this is amazing,”  Tony said.

“We’re going to be pregnant at the same time.  How awesome is that?”  You added.

“I don’t - how - how do we do this?”  She said.  “How did this happen?”

Tony really didn’t know the answer to that.  All he knew for sure was he had the resources and he was excited.  He was going to be part of a big family and he’d make sure they didn’t have to worry about anything.

// NEXT

[reflektormag]

William Tyler continues to plumb the complexities of the American identity on ‘Goes West’, perhaps his most subtly hopeful release to date 

Kyle Crockett

January 25, 2018

The last time I heard something I felt like I deeply needed to hear, it was the Go-Betweens’ painfully beautiful break-up album, 16 Lovers Lane. Grant McLennan and Robert Forster’s lyrics and perfect musical arrangements paint a more complete picture of love and loss than I have heard on any other pop music release. I remember turning it on for the first time those years ago, at that point at least a year removed from my own heartbreak and still wildly uncertain about the things going on inside me—not to mention how they were manifesting. The Go-Betweens opened my heart’s latch and I hung on each syllable, feeling all of my emotions unfurl before me in real time. It was an intoxication, an exorcism, an awakening, a frenzied release, amplified by the resounding awareness that I was engaging with something that I was always supposed to encounter. The world seemed to have chosen this moment and this music only for me, and when it presented the thing, I latched onto it with obsessive commitment.

How can a wordless album accomplish essentially the same thing?

William Tyler has operated within the mystery of this question for some time now. 2019’s Goes West is the guitarist’s fourth studio release since 2010 and his third with the titans of Merge, and it arrives as a deeply rich, beautifully subdued culmination of the musician’s decade-long contemplative American odyssey. From his debut Behold the Spirit to now, Tyler has offered a complex arc that works to define many of the characteristics of this place and its modern identity; there is an exhilarating freshness everywhere, but behind it is a thick melancholy, an intense longing to identify and protect the beauty of this world from its own shortcomings. He ruminates on this identity through instrumental arrangements driven by shimmering guitars, fingerpicked and thumb-droned to carve out, somehow, one of the most unique voices in modern American music without offering a single word.

Since embarking on his solo career, Tyler has committed himself to holding a mirror up to the face of his neighbors, no matter how far removed from him they are. He understands the interconnectedness of this century and the wild promise it offers. He communicates his faith in that promise through the traditions that have followed its evolution, arming his lush musical style with the structural cornerstones of country and blues, the inescapable progress of work and struggle, the encompassing essence of hope in the ones next to him, and a relentless belief in the one within.

Goes West makes good on this decade of promise. His first record with a full band behind him is surprisingly perhaps Tyler’s quietest release. This song cycle finds the composer engaging deeply with the subtleties of both his medium and his subject. Like much of Ry Cooder’s poetic guitar work, Goes West elaborates on those subtleties with beautiful mastery, a tone poem that whispers its worth into the listener’s ear as if to say, things will be better, look at all the good you and I have already done, listen to it growing, taking the place of dark things whenever it can, search for it every moment you can.

I listened to Goes West before I did anything else today. I drove to work and bathed in the gift of knowing, once again, that the world had chosen a new moment only for me. Wordlessly, William Tyle told me a universe of things that I needed to hear this morning. In “Fail Safe,” a rich guitar flourish opens up to a highway and succumbs to the abandon, the childish wanderdrunk that accompanies the road to a faraway destination. “Call Me When I’m Breathing Again” plays just like sadness that you can’t name, the kind you can only feel and know deeply, the kind that never leaves but only becomes more manageable. The stunning “Rebecca,” very possibly my favorite track of Tyler’s, is a universe of suggestion. Sparse pianos chime like hints of warmth amid frozen memories; Tyler’s guitar plays a melody kindled by longing and accentuated by its own resolve to love, despite things.

William Tyler’s music is one of this century’s greatest treasures. For Americans young and old, his music should come to you as a beacon of genuineness, and a shield against its opposite. Tyler has never been one to force himself on his neighbors; his music quietly knocks at the door, knocks that seem to tell you themselves that a friend is calling. Accept his wordless invitation, open your ears, and enter into one of the most meaningful conversations you can have through modern popular music.

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[leamen]

Reassurance

my friend met a friendly homeless guy the other night who showed him a community shelter and the idiot gives him acid as thanks even though the homeless guy was already clearly on other drugs and at the shelter the homeless guy blacked out and they kicked my friend out well they told him to come back a few hours later but my friend just ran away scared today a group of homeless guys went up to him at the park and said "well look who decided to show his face" he ran away he's been hearing things all day and a couple hours ago he told me he was hearing people talking about him as the killer bc he thinks he killed the homeless guy i really don't know if he's delusional or if something really really bad happened but he can't spend another night on the streets it's cold in montreal now i booked him a hotel room in the city and told him to rest up and we'll figure something out tomorrow and this fucking guy sends me a dick pic as a joke saying it was a selfie i'm sure he's just exhausted and delirious but i'm kind of upset he better be embarrased and apologize tomorrow morning i spent 300 dollars on his hotel bc he's in downtown i was so worried

lol he seems a funny guy the best he can do rn is get some good rest n food n water in him. hopefully getting his basic needs fulfilled will get the voices away how’d u two meet

we haven't met yet but i've known him on discord for a couple years he moved to montreal from alberta on my insistence he was depressed and his life was going nowhere and i felt the same living in new york until i moved to toronto i really opened up there and i thought him moving to montreal would be the same for him

did it end up worse?

but he ran out from his job last month yea couldn't pay rent and now he's homeless

wdym he ran out

he had a panic attack and stopped showing up

what was his job

at a restaurant i feel like an idiot when i moved to toronto i had at least a couple friends there and my mom knew people there i lived on couches my first month there and my friends helped me a lot but this guy went in totally alone i really should have known i feel really bad that's why i'm moving to montreal next month to help get him out of the mess i sent him in he thinks i'm being a good friend right now but fuck i'm really an idiot

so ur just gonna throw away everything u have in toronto?

i already did over a year ago when i lost my job in toronto and had to come back to new york at the start of the pandemic i lost all my friends way of life a lot of things important to me

cuz of the pandemic?

the pandemic

ah

i met a girl i loved very much and i watched our relationship crumble and turn bitter over the course of a year we should have broke up when i left i thought going back to school would help fill me with purpose but i just crumbled in school too and now i'm taking another gap year im just fucking everything up

no ur not. ur putting in as much effort as u can in one shitty situation after another whatever the outcome is, ur heart is in the right place eventually things will straighten out. there’s no changing the past, but u seem to have a lot of options ahead of u. u just gotta play ur hands right i’m glad u found sweetness when u did. it changed my life n i hope it’ll change urs

i dont know where my heart is i haven't been myself in over a year

from what i can tell ur an amazing person

u kno when someone u know is just out of it one day and not being themselves it's been like that for a really long time for me

i definitely know what ur talking ab the haze

i don't know who i am anymore i'm not good with words right now but i don't want to be who i used to be that version of me is too far away but i don't know who to become i can't describe it properly right now im just blabbering at this point im glad my friend didn't get mugged or arrested or worse i had a discord b4 but i tried to disconnect myself from anything to face my fear and to be totally alone but im back so i failed

u didn’t fail

the ppl in sweetness are nice

i tried that too n when i returned i was ashamed then i realized i had to accept those ppl into my life. i had to let them let me connect ya know ya know i haven’t known who i am for a long time as well. what helps me is getting into art, in whatever medium it may be. i personally chose conversation as my art form, hence the dream conversations in my story. just having a conversation whether it be with real ppl or made up ones that i write up helped me think ab myself i’m terrible at introspection and my own identity so i literally just ask ppl to describe me or what what they think of me lol ppl r always ready connect

i used to be the opposite i don't know myself anymore and im not really paying attention but i used to be so aware of my own state and attuned to subtleties i used to be really upbeat and happy go lucky but it's been so long since i've felt naturally like that i'm not sure if it's true for me to say that's the real me anymore maybe who i am now is the real me

i learned a long time ago that there’s no such thing as a “real me” the you before was the real u n the you now is also the real you. you are always you, it’s just that ppl change

what about personas and masks

ur going through a rough arc rn, but that doesn’t mean that it’s u forever

to me the true self is the one with nothing to hide you wrote about it in your story how you change a bit of yourself to everyone a different you tailored to different people but the most unchanged version of you i thought that was true self it's hard because i'm in a rough arc now but it's not the first time ive beat depression before and won but it feels like cancer it feels like remission is way harder to beat and it hurts the most to see your progress crumble and you go back to right where you started

definitely, but the fact that ur talking to me rn means that u haven’t been beaten yet letting it out to someone definitely helps a ton

[a different you tailored to different people] i believe those r all just different parts of one you

i wonder

because ppl can’t be one thing all the time. ppl r too complex for that it’s the ability to adapt and change that makes us human. knowing that things will always end up changing for u can be scary but it can also be comforting there’s always room for a new or a more

thanks for reminding me i already know this deep down inside but it's very deep down and i don't feel it there's a lot down there i'm not ready to face yet

as long as u know it’s down there n as long as you’ll get to it eventually, it’s ok to take ur time

i cant be taking my time not when i have so much time to make up for agh

just make sure ur not pushing urself too hard

sorry i think im just being difficult thank u i at least needed someone to talk to about what happened tn

no definitely not i very much enjoyed this conversation feel free to talk to me any time !

u as well

[dontreadthistrashgarbage]

G O T 7 PT. 9

"You're a monster." Guerin hissed to Charlie as she did her best to blend in with the crowd.

"What?" Charlie asked, baffled.

"Look at this." She held out her hands to show Charlie the outfit that had been selected for her. A black sequence crop top with a roaring trex head and red pleather leggings announced her presence loudly despite the amount of people.

"... okay how is it different from what you usually wear?" Charlie was perplexed.

"You didn't think I'd maybe want to blend in a little more after making a scene about falling into the pool? It's also a bit over the top even for me come on." Guerin grumbled, folding her arms across herself.

"Well when you say it like that... I did intentionally pick something loud to cheer you up but I didn't think you'd ever want to just blend in. I'm sorry..." Charlie had a smile but her reasoning was sound and her apology seemed genuine, "You look great though."

"Thank you..." Guerin sighed, "Actually I'm sorry. I'm just sensitive cause... you saw Jackson..."

Charlie frowned, "I wondered about that... for what it's worth he seems okay right now." She gestured to the Chinese man who laughed suddenly loudly with one of his staff members.

Guerin shrugged, not fully convinced, "Hopefully he's not just burying it. He seemed so sad when we were talking. It would make me feel better if he wasn't that invested to begin with."

"Wow, Guerin, this is quite the look." Jinyoung sidled up to his girlfriend, sliding an arm around her waist and did nothing to hide the amusement on his face.

"Yeah it is. And where was your fashion sense while this decision was being made?" Guerin passed at him.

"I was playing with Eneoji. But I think Charlie did an amazing job." He said, not swayed at all.

"Well I hope she got fur all over you." Guerin faked a sulk, crossing her arms.

"Oh, she did." Charlie said, opening his jacket to reveal his now tainted black shirt, "It's why he won't take off his coat."

"Hey." He looked offended by the betrayal and pulled his coat back into place but Charlie just slid her arm around him and scrunched her face cutely in response.

"Wow, this outfit is..." JB said, sucking air through his teeth and cocking his head as he suddenly joined them.

"This is all anyone is going to say to me for the rest of the night." Guerin tossed her hands up in the air.

"I mean, it's very YOU. It's just like you with a magnifying glass." JB said squinting his eyes.

"Well I think she looks great." Charlie said, defending her friend.

"Great is..." JB trailed off with a squint. Guerin felt a blow to her ego as she waited for him to finish his sentence, but he was interrupted.

"Guerin, you look straight off a runway girl." BamBam said flirtatiously, appearing next to her suddenly.

"Thank you. But I feel like a lamp attracting moths." Guerin said self consciously, still curious as to what JB was going to say.

"You should wear that to the shoot tomorrow." BamBam said as Byoungjin and Tobio joined. Both of them glanced at Guerin but they were the only ones so far with the sense to not make a comment.

"Absolutely not." Guerin responded to BamBam. "But I guess that means we don't need to wear the same outfit as last time."

"No. If you actually bring an second outfit to change into that would be better." BamBam said.

Byoungjin and Tobio were waiting patiently by the group until Guerin realized they were waiting for an invitation. She quickly introduced them to the rest, Byoungjin already knowing Jinyoung, JB and BamBam but Tobio was new to everyone.

"Noona, what are you filming for?" Tobio asked curiously.

"Ah, it's a music video for the song I recorded with JB." She said, suddenly feeling very silly.

"I cant wait to see it." Charlie said, nudging her friend.

"Yeah, once you make your debut doesn't that make Byoungjin and Tobio your sunbae's?" BamBam cackled at the prospect.

"Does it?" Guerin let out a laugh too.

"You'll always be our Noona first." Tobio assured Guerin with a straight face, only a hint of humor in his expression. She winked at him in return. Her eyes caught Byoungjin looking at JB as though he wanted to say something, which caused her gaze to travel to JB's as the others continued to talk. JB was looking at her and when their eyes met he gave a coy smile. Her mind immediately went back to his unfinished commentary from before. Still feeling raw from her conversation with Jackson she knew she was being unusually sensitive, but she just looked away from him without returning the smile. Guerin missed his surprised and confused expression, but Byoungjin didn't. After the others continued to talk and Byoungjin and Tobio finally got a chance to start a conversation with JB, Guerin excused herself and pretended to leave for the bathroom. Instead she snuck a drink from the bar and headed to the back patio, settling in one of the chairs out by the pool. She played music quietly on her phone and relaxed back, allowing herself to dissociate a bit as she sipped on her drink.

"Here you are Noona." A masculine tone got her attention. Looking up she saw Minhwan and Gabriel approaching.

"Hey boys. I'm surprised you're letting Gabriel out here." She grinned at them.

"He's grounded. Seungbin is with Insu." Minhwan threw his arm around Gabriel whose pout was very obviously over the top fake. "Can we join you?"

"Of course." She sat forward, "Are you guys having fun?"

"Yeah, it's been fun meeting Minhwan-hyung and Byoungjin-hyungs uh... hyungs." Gabriel said clunkily, "They're a lot of fun."

"He likes BamBam the most." Minhwan rolled his eyes, "He high fived him for falling in the pool."

"That tracks." Guerin said in English, knowing HEET knew the slang thanks to her and Gabriel.

"Noona, we wanted to make sure you were okay." Gabriel said suddenly, "Byoungjin mentioned we should check on you."

"You have the subtlety of a bulldozer." Minhwan sighed to his dongsaeng but didn't contradict him and instead looked to Guerin for her answer.

"Aww, you boys are too sweet." She beamed at them affectionately, "I'm okay. It's been an emotional night so I just came out to decompress a little before enjoying the rest of the party."

"Can we help?" Minhwan asked.

"Mmm... no I don't think so. But if that changes I'll definitely let you know." She patted Minhwans knee appreciatively, "You're both good boys, thank you for checking on me."

"I can't believe you're drinking again." Said an increasingly familiar voice. Guerin's smiled faded a little as she looked up at JB and pointedly finished off her drink.

"It's called hair of the dog. Drinking a little when you're hungover is supposed to help." She shrugged and turned back to stare out over the view of the sloping hills the extravagant home was perched on, cicadas and other nightlife chirping through the darkness. "Besides. It's a screwdriver. The orange juice means it's healthy."

"Does it work?" He asked, cocking his head to the side and sticking his hands in his pockets.

She shrugged, "It does if I believe it. I don't know the korean phrase for it, but in English it's called the placebo effect and it's pretty powerful."

JB nodded and greeted Minhwan and Gabriel who suddenly looked very uncomfortable with the change in atmosphere but seemed unwilling to leave their noona just yet.

"Im Jaebeom-ssi." Gabriel said suddenly, very formal. The other three looked at him, JB looked curious, Minhwan seemed worried and Guerin was confused, "Please forgive me if this is rude, I'm a foreigner so it may sound strange, but I would like it if you were sensitive to Guerin-noona right now." Gabriel finished.

JB still looked confused and a bit surprised. He looked from Gabriel to Guerin, whose mouth had dropped open before she let out a nervous laugh and covered her mouth with her free hand. Minhwan panicked and slung an arm around the younger man, covering his mouth from the other side, forcing him into a bow alongside himself. "Jaebeom-hyung, I am so sorry for his words. He did not mean any disrespect."

JB shook his head and raised his hand, "I'm just surprised is all. Would it be alright with you two if I have a private word with Guerin-ssi?"

Gabriel looked at Minhwan sideways from over the older boys hand as Minhwan nodded in agreement, pulling Gabriel up with him as he stood. They bowed again as they left, Guerin waving after them.

"May I join you?" JB asked, waiting for her nod before sitting down, also looking out into the night.

"I was just thinking it's a shame we can't see more stars despite being so far from the city." Guerin said randomly. JB looked at her before casting his gaze upward, "The light pollution isn't as bad but the house it so well lit... I thought about walking downhill a bit to see better."

"Okay, let's do that." He patted his legs and stood up again, gesturing for her to come along. She hesitated, then stood with him, leaving her empty cup behind she followed as he led the way downhill until they couldn't see the house anymore, "This should be good, right?"

"I think so? Our eyes will have to adjust before we can be sure." She said.

"Okay." He sat down again and laid back, patting the ground next to him.

"Ohhhh you think you are so cool right now don't you?" She said with a chuckle.

"I am pretty cool, yeah." He grinned at her as she joined him on the ground. "But not cool enough." He said after she had settled. Guerin turned her head to look at him, "I think I upset you." He said with a frown.

"Yeah, I think so." She sighed and looked back to the sky.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what it was, but if you tell me what it was, I won't do it again." JB said sincerely.

Guerin groaned and gave a small flail rolling away from him suddenly, "Aaaahhhh its dumb though." JB had to press his lips together as he tried not to laugh outright at the sudden tantrum from the older woman. She sighed before speaking again, "Tonight's been emotional so I was already sensitive." JB's hidden smile faded, "But when you were being critical of my appearance earlier it really bothered me."

JB sat up suddenly, "I was being critical?" He thought back on the interaction trying to remember. Guerin peeked through her fingers at him. "Oh, oh no! I was teasing you, I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings! I like your style, it's unusual and fun. I admire that you aren't afraid of attention, but it seems so natural-"

"Okay you don't need to overdo it." Guerin interrupted, still peeking through her fingers. JB stopped and looked embarrassed, his ears reddening slightly but went missed in the dark.

"I'm being genuine." He said sounding a little defensive.

"I appreciate that. And thank you for explaining and apologizing." Guerin dropped her hands and tugged on his sleeve, pointing to the sky when he looked at her, "Look, can you see the stars now?"

He looked up, "Oh... yeah." He started to lay back, then stopped suddenly. He pulled off his oversized dark gray cardigan, tossed it across Guerins body, then laid back in only his tshirt to stargaze with her. Guerin looked at the cardigan then back at JB appreciatively. Slipping her arms through the sleeves rather than argue with him she enjoyed the soft material and his scent now surrounding her as they stargazed in silence for a few minutes, before they headed back to the party.

Guerin had arrived early and was doing what little she could to help BamBam set up as they waited for JB.

"JB-hyung said that coming out and seeing you fly Mihi for the first time inspired him to write this song." BamBam said as they chitchatted.

"Yeah, he was curious how I trained her for free flight." Guerin nodded.

"What did you tell him?" BamBam asked curiously.

"Well, the first part is building and strengthening the relationship. Before any flying can happen she need to actually has to want to come back to me. That means I need to be more exciting and rewarding than anything she may discover on her own. Any punishment or force someone might be tempted to use only damages that relationship. Then she learns the mechanics of flying, how to move through tree branches, the cue to fly, the cue to return, all protected and in controlled circumstances, until finally all we have left is actually trying free flight. In order for that to be successful is eventually just trusting each other and going for it. She has to trust me that I'll be here and be worth returning to, and I have to trust that she finds me worth returning to. You saw yourself sometimes things go wrong, but we work together to overcome those hardships and we can keep flying. I really do approach all my relationships with a similar mentality." She trailed off, seeing BamBam had stopped working and was looking at her thoughtfully

"Ah... sorry, I should warned you it was a long explanation..." she mumbled with a sheepish grin.

"Yeah it was long." He said unable to resist teasing, "But actually it gave me an idea."

"I'm not late this time and I'm the last one?" JB trotted up to the two of them.

"Hyung, just in time. Do you two have plans for the evening? I have a couple extra scenes I want to shoot." BamBam explained eagerly.

"I didn't have solid plans..." JB trailed off, glancing at Guerin.

She looked nervous but slowly nodded, "Yeah... I'm free."

"Perfect, let's get this first part going then." BamBam rubbed his hands together. "So for this part, it's like you're just getting to know each other." BamBam explained, "Guerin, you sit on that bench like you're waiting for JB, JB you're gonna jog up and you'll greet each other."

They followed his instructions, Guerin standing and they bowed in greeting as though they didn't know each other well yet. Guerin couldn't help a nervous giggle and covered her mouth before forcing herself to drop her hands, "Sorry." She said to JB, "This feels silly."

He quirked a brow and held back a laugh, "You're the one making this weird."

She stuck her hip out and placed a fist on it in an exaggerated manner as she looked up to the sky, "I have no idea what you mean." They both giggled at the ridiculousness of the situation. BamBam called for a cut.

"That wasn't bad considering the video won't have any of your audio. He teased and Guerin hid her face again as she giggled in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry! I'm not a good actor!" She called back.

"Let's take another one." BamBam replied with a knowing smirk.

They managed a few more shots, including JB running off to get them drinks from a vending machine and attempts to skip rocks, which Guerin turned out to be more proficient with than JB and she absolutely lorded it over him off script. He tried to grab her hand at her last throw prompting her to dodge away from him and it led to a short game of chase until he caught her as she rounded a tree and the two giggled until BamBam called another cut and they remembered they were being recorded and separated dutifully.

"You two should just date already." BamBam said daringly as he reviewed the latest footage. "I'm not even giving you direction on this and look at it."

"Ya." JB said with a warning tone, resting his hand on the back of BamBam's neck, "Don't embarrass Guerin-noona." Guerin surpressed a smile at his protective response, but she didn't blame BamBam for his comment. The footage did look like a genuine couple.

"Sorry hyung!" BamBam managed to shrug away from JB's grip with a grin. "Let's move on. Change clothes to your other outfits and move. We're gonna shoot the scenes where you're in an established relationship."

These shots required more direction from BamBam. There was more direct contact and physical closeness than Guerin was mentally prepared for. With the setting sun at the park they were shooting at the scene was romantic already. They held hands and walked arm in arm.

"Guerin, in this part I want you to trip, JB, pull her to you in a hug." BamBam instructed.

JB looked at Guerin, "Is that okay?" He asked, reading her expression.

She swallowed and nodded. The closeness they had been exhibiting all day had been for show but it was wreaking havoc on her very real feelings. JB had confessed his feelings for her already but while she liked him she still couldn't help but wonder if they would be a good fit. Still, it was just a hug right?

She was wrong. As she tripped on an imaginary obstacle he pulled her into his arms and she felt her doubts melt away. At first her head was pulled into his shoulder but they separated enough that her eyes met his. He blinked once, slowly like a cat and she inhaled sharply before biting her lip nervously to resist pushing more.

"Yeah okay that's good." BamBam brought them back to earth and they separated quickly, "We don't need to do that again." He sounded both innocuous and lightly teasing as he wrapped up the shot.

"Okay. Both of you go home and get ready like you're going out for a night on the town." BamBam instructed. Both of them looked at him questioningly and he sighed, "It's for my last second inspiration."

"Yugyeomie!" Guerin exclaimed happily, approaching BamBam and seeing his tall best friend with him, "What are you doing here?" The next part was taking place in the city, like friends going out for drinks.

"Hello Guerin-noona." Yugyeom responded politely with a shy smile and a respectful bow.

"Yugyeom-ah is helping with the shoot, I needed a third." BamBam responded to Guerin's inquiry.

Yugyeom was dressed simply but fashionably, matching the tone BamBam had requested Guerin and JB consider; to pick outfits for a night out. "You look so handsome!" Guerin gushed at the younger man who grinned at the compliment both flattered and embarrassed with the attention as he muttered a humble thanks in response.

"He knows he is handsome." JB's voice said in a teasing tone as he stepped up behind Guerin, causing her heart rate to increase and her skin tingled at his proximity before he put a few more inches of distance between them.

"Hyung..." Yugyeom whined with a pout.

"Oh he's just jealous that you're such a cute lil baby." Guerin cooed at Yugyeom.

"Noona, I am an adult man you know." He said turning on his devastatingly handsome charms.

Guerin crooned playfully, "Ooohhh yes I see that." While JB and BamBam visibly cringed causing Yugyeom to break character and hide his embarrassed smile by covering his face and dropping his head, "You might be a man but you look like a cute Yugy to me." She shook his arm cutely as he whined.

"Not to interrupt Yugyeom-ah's torment but we should get started." BamBam said as he reluctantly slid into his director role. It was fairly simple, Guerin and Yugyeom would be playing friends and they meet up with JB who would witness their closeness and have to react to it in his role as Guerin's boyfriend.

Since audio wasn't important she tried to keep her acting genuine by chatting and being friendly with Yugyeom who was clearly trying to be as cool and handsome as possible. They did several shots with them spotting JB and Guerin waving him over before BamBam paused after a take.

"Guerin, would you be okay hugging Yugyeom? That way it seems more obvious that JB has something to react to." He suggested, clearly dissatisfied with what they had gotten so far.

Guerin glanced at Yugyeom, "I'm fine with it if you're comfortable?"

"You've hugged me today already." Yugyeom pushed her shoulder playfully.

"Yeah but it's different on camera!" She protested, playfully punching him in the arm. He pretended to be hurt and Guerin played along with comforting him, missing the thoughtful frown on JB's face.

"Come on, let's get started." BamBam had to rein in his rowdy actors again. They apologized and got back into position.

They started off normally until Guerin comfortably wrapped her arms around the younger man in an affectionate hug after he did something she found cute. Looking up she made eye contact with JB who had entered the frame to his spot. She beamed seeing him and beckoned him over, but faltered seeing his expression. He looked very convincingly shocked and upset, but he walked over to join them. She took his arm affectionately and pretended to introduce the two before BamBam called for a cut and the three separated.

"I think that's the shot." He nodded.

They took the same scene from a few different angles before it was time to move on to the next scene. They all thanked Yugyeom for his help which he politely accepted, saying he couldn't wait to see the finished product.

"You'd think this would be the most comfortable one but it actually feels super weird." Guerin had been instructed to look like she was settling down for the night. She had showered and put on film appropriate pajamas, grey joggers and an oversized hoodie. Eneoji and Mihi were both in the scene as she sat on the couch. With her dog next to her and the severe macaw sitting on her shoulder, she sat back into her couch with her phone that was functioning as a prop.

"You're just expecting too much of yourself. You've been doing really well." JB said. He wasn't in the scene yet so he was just watching from the sidelines.

"All you need to do is act like you're having a text conversation that is upsetting you. You can pretend to be mad, annoyed, sad, stressed, all of it. Just go with it." BamBam said.

Guerin tried to slip into character, but she wasn't at it long before she got an actual text from JB. She couldn't resist glancing up at him but he was looking innocently down at his phone. Opening the message she had to keep from laughing. It was a picture of her with a filter that put her and Mihi in funny sunglasses. She had no idea how he had managed to get the parrots face to make it into the facial recognition.

"Guerin that's the one emotion I didn't ask for." BamBam directed. JB looked at her with eyebrows raised, still acting like he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Sorry." She glared at JB then looked back to her phone. She got another text from JB not long after. She furrowed her brow, refusing to look at him but couldn't resist taking a peak. This time it was a clip of Eneoji with a dinosaur mask on. She pursed her lips unconvincingly but managed her weakness without another scolding. Instead she texted JB back.

"You are so annoying!"

He responded with another image, this one was just a selfie of him making a ridiculous face. She outright laughed in surprise before remembering. BamBam sighed and Guerin launched into defense, "JB is sabotaging me! He keeps sending me funny pics." She sulked back.

"Hyung..." BamBam looked at JB with an expression of suffering.

"Sorry. Sorry I'll stop." JB said through a laugh he hadn't been able to contain after Guerin't outburst.

Despite the distraction the silliness had managed to relax her. JB messaged her again and she furrowed her brow, opening the message.

Whatever expressions she had made while texting with JB BamBam seemed to like. The last part of the scene involved her hearing a knock at her door, which is where JB came in. JB knocked on the door to get the timing right for reaction from the animals in the shot to look up, then Guerin stood, set Mihi on her perch and left the frame toward the door.

After shuffling the set up around to focus on the front door and putting the animals away to avoid distraction they continued with filming. Guerin opened the door to JB holding flowers and looking dejected. They did this several times, each time trying something different. The first time she just moved aside to let him in. The second time she leaned against the door and sighed before beckoning him in. The third time he was making a dumb face so she just shut the door again trying not to laugh. The fourth time she reached for his hand, gently holding his fingers as she raised her gaze to his. Meeting his eyes set her heart pounding loudly. She backed away and brought him into her apartment. Guerin was surprised she was able to hear BamBam call for a cut over the blood rushing through her veins.

"That was really great. Let's try for another like that." BamBam said as she quickly dropped JB's hand and moved away.

In the next take she held her arms open to invite him into a hug. He stepped sweetly to her arms, unexpectedly laying his head on her shoulder as he pulled her closer, like someone might if they were seeking comfort. She rubbed his back as though reassuring him but feeling his body against hers and his breath on her neck was becoming too much, so she stepped away from the embrace.

"I don't know about the hug, it makes it hard to see both of your faces." BamBam said looking at the camera with a thoughtful expression after the take, "Let's do another one."

The sixth take JB actually stepped closer to her first and took her hand. Guerin instinctively stepped back into the door but he was still alarmingly close. He had completely abandoned the apologetic expression he had been wearing before and she had to remind herself that they were supposed to be acting. BamBam called for another cut.

"That was a little aggressive JB. You're supposed to be asking forgiveness remember?" BamBam scolded his hyung.

"Ah, sorry I got carried away." JB said sheepishly, pulling away from Guerin.

"That startled me." She said, pressing her hand to her chest and forcing a laugh to cover for her reaction.

((((Tbc... this was so long ugh))))

[lilietsblog]

Strike Witches episode 1: first impression

so im gonna try strike witches: the unknown anime i chose to not familiarize myself with the premise beyond 'something like fighter pilots i think?' that i picked up by osmosis

oh hey look a discarded doll. def war is hell vibes here

cant say im a fan of the visuals from the first several seconds, the color scheme and everything seems kinda bland? the only reason im making this observation is bc i had to pause to let it load tho

oh look Very Noticable CGI

(i have a headache and am vaguely nauseous and basically am Very Cranky as a result)

man, there aren't even characters yet. it's been almost two minuets and there still aren't people for me to relate too that's a crime by which i dont mean that literally but just 'this might not be the thing i want to watch right now'

oh hey monsters okay this is better than just straight up war is hell between humans omfg in 1939 subtle 'we wanna play with ww2 era toys but without bringing up the fact japan was on the side of nazi germany' i assume sure im onboard if thats the premise

magitech??? magitech!!!

that's. their legs. in those things. are they evoking Baba Yaga and her travels in a stupa bc thats okay panty shots i think imma quit at the end of this episode

oh i. just realized this is the movie that actually makes it a bit better and gives me more hope lets try the actual first episode first

ok the first shot is of the sky and not a discarded doll that's already better

holy shit whatever this video player is it allows to load external captions from pc or url. technology progresses at an incredible pace

i love that the fighter planes are clearly shown attacking the vortex first 9u9

opening has so many girls wearing shoes but no pants. im just. this entire device's entire point is clearly to fanservice that does not mean this is bad character-wise yet ofc. i watched and liked fucking rosario+vampire. this show has a chance yet. lets see what its got

the op song is nice its also very straightforward about aesthetic of this show being 'girls without pants in absolutely non-sexual situaitons' and i can respect that

and oh look it actually does start with characters interacting right after exposition that's what im talking about

okay so now might be a good time to mention that the first context i heard of strike witches was uh. misogynist porn. like the kind that doesnt go for 'look at these relatable characters being kinky' but for 'consider: what if powerful girls got hurt instead'. so thats the context in my brain and i want to fucking overwrite it

military uniforms+panties are definitely an aesthetic and im incredibly amused by it okay every single girl here doesnt wear pants sure that actually looks like a swimsuit rather than panties and thats nice

also they are characterizing the protagonist! like i know thats not much to ask for but im going into this straight off blogging about madoka and this is just such a relief! she is kind and brave and plucky and talks gently to a scared kitten and I love her also she Does Not Think Things Through shes like the typical shonen protagonist but a girl. im in

Yoshika her name is Yoshika

and her motivation is her dad but eh sure whatever I kind of like the touch of 'it was classified military information' not sure why

theres nothing about Yoshika that qualifies her other than her personality and magic powers huh

yep thats a swimsuit aww shes a healer!

I love that the military observers rush to help as soon as they see something is off theres work and then theres helping emergencies

oh!!!! her mom and grandma are around!!! and teaching her!!! im happy!!!

Yoshika why is all that a 'but' to 'you should learn to control your power' i dont think there was any subtext of 'you shouldnt even try' there? or was it? maybe i should just trust her for now

awww Yoshika actually doesn't want to go to war <3 but this woman thinks she will because she wants to help people and she'll help people the most there I I like this ;~; I'm so happy I like this I love Yoshika's 'fuck war' instinct I love her drive to help everyone and in fact the trope of magical healer almost killing themselves to help a patient (despite it being professionally inadvisable) is actually the thing i made my very first rp character sooo :> you know. stuff something is fishy about that letter. its no coincidence it was sent just now... I love Sakamoto and her A+ social skills HA HA HA HA HA also huh... she's not in on whatever's up with that letter

Yoshika so uh alright she'll take her without enlisting her huh interesting but uh what about school I guess military and witches can override all that and it kind of makes sense to me thematically

'Britannia' gee how familiar that name sounds and i dont mean geographically

so hm could Yoshika be a military doctor without actually enlisting? how do the formalities work there i like that Sakamoto doesnt question her dislike of all things military like its unexpected but mostly bc Sakamoto's got a one track mind that has a hard time expecting anything other than what she wants to happen and beyond that its like 'sure ok a conscientous objector got it' even though its weird how there would be conscientous objectors to fighting MONSTERS its not like theres an alternative to not fight I mean also clearly Yoshika is a kid and theres room left for that in other characters' treatment of her opinions and I love that they dont get Offended that she doesn't understand and Have Proper Respect well Sakamoto doesn't at least not sure about how other people will react

man that raccoon on the road sure was convenient though. like i first thought it was Sakamoto's deliberate tactic to gauge Yoshiko's powers. she was opening her eye to i guess do just that visually and then the raccoon appeared and it just felt very natural that one follows from the other? is this foreshadowing or are the writers of this anime just unfamiliar with the concept of 'subtle' i dont mind if its the latter tbh

(im writing a ton of reflection bc the episode broke after i tried to rewind a little and i decided to download it after all, and its doing that)

so far, this show seeems nicely straightforward and fast paced. like, really straightforward. yoshiko's introduction? saving a kitten. making a ww2 era anime without difficult shit? monsters attacked in 1939. motivations and revelations are handled with all the subtlety of a hammer to the face, from the raccoon to the letter. even fanservice has the same charming quality that makes me actually be okay with the entire point of their outfits being gratuitous panty shots. making sense and having pretense is for the weak. this anime knows what it wants to be and is going straight for that. i respect that approach

also its p clear that what it wants is to be character driven and its been Delivering on that since its only half episode one and i already Love two characters personally and also some supporting cast (Yoshiko's entire family)

and like you know that in some other show GASP MIGHT MY DAD BE STILL ALIVE would be a reveal saved for like. the halfway point. but here its literally the starting point spurring everything into action bc all other motivation was just too slow to get the character where she was supposed to go. good job yo

there's this trope where the main character doesn't want to go into the main conflict (Refusal of the Call)... and very often it's handled by either 1) letting them wallow until everything goes to shit showing how wrong they were or 2) immediately conveniently wrecking everything so they have no choice now I uh. am really glad this show went a different way if just joining the conflict isnt a good enough motivation GET A BETTER ONE and IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE ANGST (and it doesn't have to be romance, either!!! why are those two the only things writers seem to be able to think of jfc)

...okay I was more like two thirds through the episode rather than half but my points stand

okay so I think what just happened was Yoshiko realized the parallel between herself and her dad leaving and got scared and her response was to comfort other people and I love that <3

I love that Sakamoto doesn't have a doubt in her mind that Yoshiko isn't going to be useless and will definitely help and also comes to her to discuss this explicitly <3

man I love Sakamoto and her absolute lack of social graces and sense of when enough is enough

and the fact that Yoshiko is working chores now and seems to enjoy it too <3

and it's when it's established that she's part of the team that Sakamoto starts showing off <3 she clearly has a dedicated well thought out campaign of convincing Yoshiko going on and its borne out not of manipulation but of clear conviction that she is right and she just has to show the girl what she doesnt know yet <3

ahaha of course showing off worked <3

so I paused and imma make a bet with myself on whether Sakamoto is going to tell her 'if you liked that you can join' right now or leave that unsaid subtly my bet is that she is, bc subtlety is an entirely foreign concept to this wonderful human being, and if i lose im going to make my bed right now not even waiting for the end of the episode let's see

oh she starts with education huh, this is not widely known? i had no idea anyway lets see if she says the thing

I love that it's her dad and it's this kind thing of 'this is what he said he was going to do, and he did' <3

huh so that was slightly more subtlety than I expected, she offered her to try them rather than trying to recruit her directly so I lost the bet gotta go make the bed now

BAM DONE YAY GOOD SELF CARE

hey more main characters!!!! I love all of you already!!! you have personality and discuss things that make sense!!! including their outfits!!! I love them!!!! the parasol girl is my favorite but also the tiny girl and the red-haired girl they are all my favorites!!!

omfg a month of travel and half a day early Yoshiko gets impatient I love her

YOU ARE A NONCOMBATANT she said with the steely confidence of a commanding officer <3

I love so much that Sakamoto respects Yoshiko's boundaries re: fighting???

OMG THE ENDING SONG I LOVE IT

I love the upbeat and airy tone this show manages to have despite the premise??? like I had trepidations at the start bc I dislike doom&gloom-heaviness of 'war is hell' narratives and I'm not a WW2 affictionado. but instead of shiny boom boom toys and angst it's all character adorableness and so much sky??? even the lack of pants ends up feeling like freedom this is the anime we all deserve

[chunmakowski3-blog]

hotass milf - What You Can Do About Mature Asian Feet Pics Starting In The Next Ten Minutes

Ive always had this silly idea in the back of my head, that maybe I should be writing more than just forum posts and rants on facebook, that maybe I might have more to say, or share, than Ive been allowing myself. So, within that vein of thought, I sat down, and through a mix of two things that really did happen to me, along with some embellishment and other imaginings, I put the following partial story together. I have no idea what to expect from this, good bad or indifferent, but If you take the time to read it, please share your thoughts / critique. Writing like this is experimental for me and Im going even further on the limb by making it erotic... and know that I know, that this is rather rough. Ive gone over it a few times, and I think I could continue to edit, just this tiny piece for ages. Point is, I know Im a newb, and have a long way to go before I might be good. So be honest, but also respectful please. Advice, points, a direction... all welcome. This is just the beginning. The second piece and most of the conclusion are outlined. If folks show interest, Ill finish it up and post it as part #2. Laundry Day... Saturday morning... close to noon, still tired from staying up too late the night before. I get some coffee started then head back to the other end of the house to grab some laundry for the wash. Its a beautiful spring day, really warm outside so I pull some windows and the door open, with just the screens on to keep the bugs out. I live on a quiet street in the suburbs, and mine is the last house before a few empty lots, so I get zero foot traffic. I dont even think twice about traipsing about the house in my boxers. Im 28 years old, about six foot tall, a little too thin but muscular and wiry from working construction all year. I think that Im considered attractive despite my hawkish nose. I have long hair and about 3 days of facial growth. I need to shave, but dont much care too. If I have an attribute that stands out, women often tell me that I have nice hands. Im humming along to Sweet child o mine squeaking out of my old radio while stuffing dirty clothes into the washer when I hear a flat knock on the screen door. The door isnt latched, so it swings half open at the touch. Im a little startled and surprised when I look over and see an attractive woman, twenty-something, dressed modestly in shorts and blouse carrying a hand-bag and a stack of pamphlets. She has long, strawberry blonde hair, and I notice right away, tight, fit legs and a cute face. Regardless of my surprise, I sheepishly say hello, and without even considering that Im more naked than not I approach the door, baffled that theres anyone there at all, nevermind this pretty young woman. She appears to be about as nervous as I am, and begins a rehearsed line from the sheet she has clutched in her hand. She stutters a bit but recoveres quickly. She says My church has asked a few of us to pass out these pamphlets to let people know about our Sunday services. She looks up expectantly, while reaching out to hand me a pamphlet. I take it, and our fingers touch, giving me a slight chill down my spine. A slight breeze blows through the house and I notice that she smells really nice. A complimentary scent to the spring air. I smile and look down at the pamphlet, surreptitiously her thighs. She doesnt seem to have more to say, so I tell her that Im not particularly religious but if she wants to talk, shes welcome to come on in as long as she doesnt mind if I do some laundry while we chat. I gesture at my obvious near nakedness, expecting a repsonse, but instead she just smiles again, very deliberately pushes the door the rest of the way open and walks over to sit down on the couch. She looks demure and slightly nervous, with her legs together and a stack of pamphlets gripped tight in both hands. Despite the apparent nervousness, shes still wearing a grin that looks more mischevious than awkward. I think to myself that so far her actions have been more bold than timid. The situation was feeling rather unreal, her sitting there with me standing in only my very brief thin white boxers. I didnt really know what to do, and I dont think it was conscious thought that got me there, but I walked over and sat next to her. We both sat quiet for a few moments that felt overlong. While I was trying to think up something to say, and becoming increasingly aware of how close to nude I was, she looked over at me, a little red-faced, and then suddenly stood up, mumbled something I didnt understand and took off out the door. If you have any kind of concerns about wherever as well as how to work with mature milfs pics, you are able to email us from our webpage. I stood up to follow, but she had distanced herself from the house rather quickly and I didnt want to run outside in only my underwear. I was puzzled, and more than a little disappointed that shed left so quickly. Id gotten near as much warning with her leaving as Id had with her coming. I turned around, shook my head, laughed a little, walked to my bedroom, found some jeans and a shirt to put on and then walked outside to see her and her group a few doors down talking with my elderly neighbor. They all looked up when they heard my screen door shut. I waved, she waved back, then turned away as the group said their goodbyes to my neighbor, got into a mini-van and drove away. With nothing more to do or say, I went back inside refilled my coffee mug and sat down on the couch, still warm where shed been sitting, and attempted to take stock of what just happened. Though there had been few words and no contact, the experience left me with my blood pumping. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. My mind replaying the experience over and over, changing the subtleties to suit my fantasies. Fantasies that eventually got the best of me. My cock got hard. Throbbing in my boxers, I couldnt help myself, I reached down and stroked it thinking of what might have happened differently with this impromptu beautiful stranger who had come to my home, and then left again after such a brief encounter. As the days turned to weeks, the memory of the experience and the fantasy became a sort of routine. I would sit on the couch and masturbate thinking of the day Id had a beautiful stranger come to my door. Each time I would imagine having said something clever or having reached over and touched her leg while she sat there, each action or word a catalyst for the fantasy to bloom. A touch turned to another, and then a kiss, and well, you get the idea. Time passed, a month or more, I dont remember now. It was my day off during the week. I was killing some time playing a video game, awaiting the time free naked mature pictures to go meet my friends for drinks that afternoon. It was still warm out, and after her visit and my subsequent fantasies, Id gotten into the habit of leaving the front door open, screen door closed but unlatched. Id come down from the high of the experience, but it was still fueling my masturbation ritual on a nearly daily basis. Despite this and though I suppose Id subconsciously hoped to run into her one day, I was harboring no real belief that Id see her again. Amidst the noise and distraction of the game I was playing, I almost didnt hear it when someone at my door cleared their throat. Once again startled, I jumped a little, and when I turned to see, it was her at the door, and already pushing it open, though Id not invited her in. I was dumbstruck and overwhelmed at how attractive she looked framed by the door and the sunlight streaming in around her. She let the door shut behind her, and stood there smiling dressed in a white t-shirt and semi-raggy short jeans with her long reddish-blonde hair flowing down her shoulders and onto her chest. She looked different, less demure, and it took me a few moments to realize she was wearing makeup that was absent at our first meeting, and this time her clothes are a little tighter and I can see that through her shirt, the bra shes wearing is lacy, sexy milf, on purpose. Her cute face and fit legs are the standouts of her appearance, and though I cant tell with her facing me, I imagine that she must have a really fantastic ass too. Then, in an instant, several things cross my mind at once. I felt my face flush red, as several weeks of stroking my cock to thoughts and fantasies about this woman came flooding back to me. It was my turn to studder. I didnt know what to say, and then I began to feel myself getting hard. I thought, at least Im wearing pants this time. Feeling unusually confident, perhaps inspired by her bold intrusion, I let my inhibitions go and allow myself to become erect. I stood there facing her, each of us looking one another up and down, taking each other in, appraising. I was sure shed noticed my hard-on, she smiled and then looked me in the eye. I nervously, nearly choking on the words said, Hey again, how are you... come on in. even though she was already standing in the room. tweakmymeter