#IM JUST A LITTLE GUY MAN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

[keithbutgay]

okay okay i need to talk about this for a second

SO for one thing. this is also a book. i did not get very far into the book before giving up, for what it's worth. for context i have read about 35 of the original oz books

right. that being said. i have some stuff to say both about the content of the movie/book and the commentary said (everything i say is based on the book)

i definitely agree about ozma of oz (and about the missing scenes!) and i had no idea about the weird changes to princess langwidere? i actually loved her so much in the books i think she's so so so cool. the name change is fucking awful.

ABOUT THE OZMA THING. OH MY GOD

im going to talk a bit about the marvelous land of oz so that it's understood how this was absolutely butchered. first of all, as said by previous rebloggers, the storyline is of tip, the protagonist, who's a little boy living alone with this woman mombi (the real one, also the fifth wicked witch) and she gets this powder of life, fast forward fast forward tip carves a wooden figure and sticks a pumpkin on its head to scare her and she puts the powder of life on it and jack exists!

(i will agree that jack pumpkinhead as a character is literally just a guy /pos. i love him so much. shaking him violently)

anyways, jack refers to tip as his father and that's probably where that part of the movie expanded from. fast forward, at the end it's revealed that tip was princess ozma, the correct ruler of oz, and she had been kidnapped at birth and changed into a boy and it was all just one big trans allegory and i love her

so for the entirety of the books she like. is a kid. but yeah

in the third book, ozma of oz, the nome king (aka roquat) turns almost all of the characters into various little tchatchkies and they have to figure out which thingamabob is which person, which is presumably where the movie got the whole nome king turning everyone into statues thing.

the wheelers are actual guys! their design in the movie actually doesn't seem to be *too* inaccurate as far as costumes and makeup goes? so that's actually pretty interesting. i think they look kinda cool based on the images i've seen honestly :PP

okay. lets talk about tiktok

in the books, he's almost what you're describing. he has the key for moving, the key for talking, they key for thinking, and he does often wind down. HOWEVER. while there is a one-man army of oz, this is the soldier with the green whiskers. and he is SUCH a guy. tiktok is just kinda a character with a cool design, cause he's entirely clockwork. and the way he talks is written out really interestingly because he talks very haltingly and robotic (for obvious reasons) and he has to be wound up again every so often when he talks for a while

ALSO. ALSO ALSO ALSO i just noticed the gump in the image at the very top. the gump is made of two couches, the head of an "elk-like creature", palm branch wings, and a broom for a tail, also brought to life using the powder of life

anyways, this is getting really long so. i guess in summary this movie is awful and a completely misguided and incorrect representation of the books and if you're looking for a good sequel to the wizard of oz please just. read the books. please. theyre so good

What the heck, I’ll give it a shot.

How bad could it be?

[rotthepoet]

Hey Rot… could I pretty please ask for some soft reader x mean Matt & Enz please?

Any plot would be amazing!! Smut would b great but you don’t have to if you don’t wanna!

In the hospital so been bingeing your acc like I’m starved..

–🦙

HI!!! IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK TO LONG! I LITERALLY CANT EVEN MAKE UP AN EXCUSE IM JUST SO SORRY KING :( but we're here now! no smut in this, but tbh I think this could def branch into a part 2.

You're quiet. Very quiet. Not one to talk a lot, and when you do it's soft and kind. No one has ever had an issue with you, no, you're far too passive for that. Of course, the one time you speak up, stand up for what you think is right, the worst possible outcome befalls upon you.

Mattheo Riddle and Lorenzo Berkshire were bad boys, for lack of better term. No. No, actually. There is a better word. Assholes. That's what they are.

Picking on those who they think is below their status, which essentially means everyone, and thankfully you had expertly avoided their radar for years. Until now.

Lorenzo ripped a notebook out of a younger student's hand, flipping through the pages of what seems to be a relatively full sketchbook. He pulled Mattheo, who was lingering nearby, closer.

"Look Matt, 's that supposed to be you and me?" Lorenzo asked, sneering down at the page in disgust as the young artist stares in horror, completely embarrassed from the scene unfolding before them.

How could you have just sat there?

Your feet moved before you could even think, and you wrenched the sketchbook from Lorenzo's hand, who stared at you in complete surprise as you gently handed the notebook back to the student, apologizing profusely on your classmate's behalf, though you knew they weren't sorry.

Peace lasted for nearly a minute, just a minute, before a rough hand gripped your shoulder and spun you around. Your back hit the stone wall with a sickening thud, air being knocked out from your lungs.

"Think you're so fucking tough, yeah?" Lorenzo practically growled down at you, 'Such a fucking tough guy, yeah? Think you're such a hero."

Your head reels a bit, a dull ache blossoming in your neck from the shove and subsequent egregious tilt of your head upwards to make eye contact with the taller man.

"Never said that..." You mutter defiantly, shifting beneath his heavy gaze.

Mattheo stepped up now, joining Lorenzo in crowding you against the wall. His calloused hands gripped the collar of your shirt, turning you to face him rather than Berkshire.

"Didn't know he talked, but such a sharp little tongue he's got, yeah?" Mattheo grinned, a sick smirk stretching across his pale lips. "I don't really like the way you backtalked my friend there, y'know, I think we should teach him a lesson."

Your eyes roll at the cliche line, despite the nervousness starting to course through your body.

Riddle catches it of course, and you're thrown from your place on the wall onto the ground. Within a second, Mattheo is on top of you, pinning your hips to the ground with his weight. He pulls you up by the tie, snarling down at you.

"Do that shit again and see where it gets you, punk,"

Mattheo's gaze widens for a moment when he shifts above you, unspoken words forming on his lips, but is drawn away from you when Lorenzo grabs his shoulder, "Shit, McGonagall, get up," his buddy ushers, glaring down at you on the floor. Mattheo is off of you in a second, and Lorenzo grabs you by the wrist to tug you off the ground and shove you away right as McGonagall rounds the corner.

"Mr. Berkshire, Mr. Riddle," She greets, disapointment already lacing her tone, "Are we having a problem?"

You open your mouth to speak, only to feel a sharp pink on the back of your arm as Berkshire pretends to dust off your robes.

"Yeah, Professor," Lorenzo drawls with an innocent tone, "Just ran into our buddy here. Not hurt, are you?" He asked.

You glare at Lorenzo, eyes flickering to meet with Mattheo's, and you sigh. "Nope. Not hurt... sorry for getting in your way." You concede, gaze falling to the floor.

With no real issue, McGonagall pases by with a short, "Get to class. All of you." Leaving you with the two boys, the sketchbook student having long absconded before you noticed.

Lorenzo walks past you, shoving you out of his way with his strong shoulders, Mattheo following after him, eyes flickering down your body, and suddenly you feel a crushing sense of dread and embarrassment, only now noticing the uncomfortable tightness in your pants.

oh, fuck your life.

[dyslexicmammon]

whoever wrote lesson 38 I hope they all know I'm sitting here violently sobbing about it. why would you do that to me. why would you make me go through all of that I'm- holy fucking shit

the last time i had this much of a reaction was in season 1 where I left them all. I was crying that entire time. wtaf.

SPOILERS IN TAGS!!!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

so how about that update, huh

[b4kuch1n]

pre-marination doobles. dont ask me questions

[wu-wakfu-undertale]

Re-watching wakfu for the first time in years and s1 Yugo was so silly???

dude discovered he could make portals at will and his first thought after actually acknowledging it is "i can do so many cool pranks with this"

[bitchfitch]

I've started playing Potion Permit, and so far it's one of my favorite games I've messed around with, but the most big brained move the devs made was giving you a dog on day 1, and then making that dog able to track NPCs and lead you directly to them no matter where they are in the town.

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode six thoughts

HEY. WHAT THE FUCK. normally i talk about things somewhat chronologically but i Cannot skip over this to come back to later. WHY THE FUCK DID EDWIN GET GOT?? motherfucker right when the night nurse was gonna let them stay together at least temporarily to sort it out 😭 girl get him out of there!!!!!

okay i'm taking deep breaths i'm good. it's fine im chill. im so calm and normal right now it's fine. alright time for the rest of the episode.

monty... i'm a little torn bc him getting stabbed and dismembered to be re-crowed by esther is fucked, but also (like i was afraid of!) he was an asshole about edwin not returning his feelings. so... oh well. still a shame and i feel a little bad for him, but significantly less than i would have otherwise. he's not even dead lol, he's just a bird again

the guy in the fish. kashi maybe?? i do not remember his name but he's so fun i love his vibe. i'd invite him to a party tbh, he seems like the kind of guy who's just pleasant to be around bc he's kind and just really does not stress. i love his interactions with the night nurse, he's so calm and a good contrast to her franticness 👍

SPEAKING OF THE NIGHT NURSE. i really like that she hesitated and ultimately decided not to separate them instead of digging in her heels and refusing to believe the system could make a mistake. it's the perfect culmination for her character, and tracks so well with what she believes- not in the system itself exactly, but that it exists for a reason. that the most important thing is to keep everything in order, and if the system is making mistakes that is not order!! especially with her interaction with the cool fish man getting her to pause and take a breath, i'm really happy with how her character is developing and being written she's so good

oh also!! I WAS FUCKING RIGHT IT FEELS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT. I WAS CORRECT!!! EDWIN REALLY IS IN LOVE WITH CHARLES!!!! girl that was foreshadowed and developed so well they mean So much to me!!!!! aaaahahahahaha i do not have words for how delighted this makes me but!!! know that it is so!!!!!

also wait i just realized this is so funny. edwin attempts to confess his gay love and almost immediately gets sent to hell. girl what is this supernatural?

anyway. i noticed that the bracelet broke, so hopefully when the cat king comes back they'll be able to interact on more even footing. (assuming. i mean. assuming edwin doesn't stay in hell 😭 i really hope they get him out... there are two episodes left so? exciting season finale rescue please? pretty please for me??)

speaking of which. did anyone else think it was hot when edwin, upon being faced with the cat king attempting to stop him from warning charles and crystal, went off on him and told him that the binding spell is all he is? bc that was hot! idk i just really enjoyed edwin snapping back at the cat king, who up til now has essentially held all the power in their interactions. it was immensely satisfying, bc yeah! if you were not literally magically holding him prisoner you would be nothing to him bitch!!! you need to cast a binding spell on a guy to get him to even notice you exist!!!

sorry haha i simply do not like the cat king. i enjoy his vibe and the cunt he gives off but he has fully and completely lost the battle for my respect with how he treats edwin, someone he's interested in who has rejected him. lol get disregarded idiot try a romance tactic other than weird power imbalances and coercion next time

is it just me or do these posts keep getting longer?? there is So Much this episode to talk about!! we got walrus guy backstory (fascinating!), crystal's demon ex putting her down and getting whacked with a magic cricket bat (satisfying! eat shit daniel), mushroom forest elemental extradimensional creature (scary as hell? but also it was hilarious crystal went 'hey u don't have to eat my friends u can just not' and the mushroom was like 'oh shit really? damn my bad bye' and that fucking Worked that's so funny i love it)

crystal... what do i say about crystal i love her!!!! holy shit. her losing her powers to bar her ex from her head, being afraid she's useless without them, and then reclaiming them by looking deeper within her and reconnecting with her heritage.... ough that's so good!!! i love that so much, and i love love love how far her and edwin's friendship has come. "i have come to value you" he's saying you're friends!! you're friends and he cares about you because you're friends, not because you have cool and helpful powers. motherfucker im gonna cry

and niko & jenny!! god that scene was so real. jenny's obviously bad with emotions, but it was really sweet of her to reassure niko as best she can. and yeah the librarian being murderous wasn't niko's fault, but also the situation only happened because niko went against jenny's express wishes to find her secret admirer and set up a date. so it's reasonable for jenny to not be ready to forgive her for that yet, bc that shit was absolutely traumatizing as hell and niko still played a part even if it wasn't fully her fault. but still, jenny puts that aside long enough to talk things out with niko, and i love both of them so much 😭

i thought i got this out at the start but NO. FREE MY BOY EDWIN HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! let him out!!!!!!! give him back and i want him and charles to hug again!!!! and also more interactions with him and niko their friendship is very sweet!!!!! give him back to me please im devastated 😭😭😭

[caruliaa]

just bc im a lesbian doesnt mean tht i wont at times become deeply entranced with the beauty of male actor or character. it just means i wld rather be locked in a room with a man with a knife than do anything romantic or sexual with one

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

NAH NO ABSOLUTELY NOT TELL MEEE TEEEELLLLL MEEEEEEE WHY I WAS PEACEFULLY SCROLLING TIKTOK AND I SEE ONE COMMENT SECTION FLOOODEEDDD WITH SHIT LIKE "astoria greengrass hate club lol" "astoria haters ⬇️⬇️⬇️" "I can't stand astoria" WHAAATTT WHAT THE FUUCCKK WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ACTUALLY FUCKING TALKING ABOUY WHTA THE VBGAGSJSLW I CANNOT EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE ON ABOUT IM GONNA FUCKINGFHFHFJFUFKM WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEEAAANN SHUT THE FYCK UPP OH MY GOD WHAT WHAT DID SHE EVER DO?????

anywayz number one astoria greengrass defender love her so much I will skin your whole body with my teeth if you try and fuck with her that is MY GIRL <3<3<3

[rakkuntoast]

i swear if qforever doesnt get a nice and healing reunion with richas and tallulah i am exploding that server myself

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

[possibly-eli]

curse of ireland's only real known, widespread influence outside of ireland being a youtuber and a musical artist. like babes im so sorry to ruin whatever quirky fairycore bogland or super hype loud fun idea you may or may not have of ireland but. it isnt that im sorry. its literally just a place

edit: i put too many fucking tags on this post and it broke so youre just going to miss out on my immaculate rants. tumblr fucking hates me

[eonars]

um. tfw your life is about to change massively very very soon and it still doesn't even feel real yet and still feels like somethings gonna pop up and it won't actually happen and also you're scared as fuck that you're too stupid to actually do it and it'll all be for nothing

[compacflt]

I’m sorry if my question has like a very obvious answer (that I obliviously failed to pick-up on, while reading your marvelous story), but what exactly did Pete mean when he said that Goose was his first?

its so funny you ask this cause I was just writing something about this yesterday. No there’s not really an obvious answer because i was trying to keep it intentionally vague. I feel like (tho i have my own thoughts) outright saying anything too bold about Mav & Gooses relationship is… idk it feels kind of morally questionable to commit to paper because of how it positions carole. Carole is already SUCH a tragic figure in both movies (and in the fic i wrote): she lost everything, she is to blame for the emotional turmoil of TGM, and yet she gets written out of the narrative (FRIDGED!!!) & is never given a chance to explain herself. She has no agency in the story anyway, she is literally just a scapegoat. So no matter whether Goose was the first man Mav ever slept with, or Goose was the first man Mav ever loved (both of which are 100% valid readings, and both of which would’ve still occurred during Goose & Carole’s relationship), it’s still CAROLE who’s getting fucked over here. AGAIN.

(Also? I have no idea if I’ve been reading this scene wrong this whole time, but the whole “Goose, even you could get laid in a place like this” / “I’d be happy to find a girl who’d talk dirty to me” feels… not good. Feels bad. And the $20 bet—are they both partaking in that? Isn’t that how bets work? Whoever gets an on-the-premises lay first gets $20? Or is he just betting MAV can’t get laid? Bet aside, I don’t know—the whole thing just makes me sad on Carole’s behalf. She is 100% the most tragic character in the franchise already, this casual “wish i were with a girl who’d talk dirty to me” just makes it worse)

But Goose was definitely Mav’s first SOMETHING. Even canon-goose knows mav isn’t straight (“of a lady this time”). I was kind of trying to insinuate that my Mav confessed he was in love with/at the very least LOVED Goose to Charlie, and that’s part of the reason she left (“Of course I loved him, of course” / “He didn’t know who he was and neither did she”) but yeah there’s no easy answer. Up to you. Do with all that info what you will.