#IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THEM 😤😤😤

[killuaisaprincess]

🌈🩷🌈🩷🌈

[mymelodyisme]

3, 7 and 14 for the asks!! 😍

😭 I should have asked you more myself!! But I saw handwriting and went “I MUST have her write some of her FIC-“

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

So 🤔 this is kinda tricky cause we hardly rewatch films in my house cause 🙄 my mom and dad only like watching things once usually. But but but I DO share in common with my mom that I love rewatching:

Encanto

Tangled

Turning Red

I’ve certainly annoying my sisters recently with Turning Red 🤣 it’s really good background noise and fu bro watch. Encanto cause it’s good!!! But also I’m latina and also feel not special like Mirabel 😭 my sister first time we watched the movie said Luisa reminded her of me tho thanks for clocking the older sister energy I guess. And tangled because Rapunzel my favorite Disney princess ever 🥺

7. what scares you the most and why?

Oof here’s where we get ✨depressing✨

First do we mean spine tingling or deep rooted fear that stabs at your heart till it aches and pours out? Cause I could easily say something concrete like cockroaches (they make me cry and shake so quick) but if we’re talking in ouchie heart ache type of scares it’s becoming unwanted and an inconvenience 😭 I’ve felt like that a few times in my life and heck I’ve been feeling it especially hard lately. Just gotta take a deep sigh and keep going cause I’m gonna like me enough to want me to stay! Ya know! Also I’m scared of being in absolute darkness and I’m scared to be out at night :)

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

😭 kinda related back to the other question Owie, this one seems kind of ridiculous but it’s the simplest and most heart breaking for me. All of my wants have this same thing in common but this one is the most recent so ridiculous or not here you are.

Going for a walk.

I’m, frankly, scared of the unwanted attention that comes with being a fat person in public 😭 I mean realistically I know no one’s actually looking at me but I can’t help but feel they are. In PE I was always last to finish and the kids who were done early would cheer me on and they meant well but it always made me cry. For a bit I got a little braver about walking on the treadmill at the university but I’m out now and we don’t have one at home. I’ve been wanting to go walking to better myself because 🥺 I could be better but I’m really scared of going to the park. It’s on the other side of town, it’s bigger with more shade, but it’s next to our high school and there’s a bunch of houses and there’s no good time for me to talk out of my day to do this and I’d go for a walk but we don’t have sidewalks where I live and I don’t want to walk in the road and block someone from their driveway. It’s all excuses I guess but all in all I’m afraid of existing in other people’s spaces.

But but to end on something positive!!! 🤔 um I’m really proud of the way I’ve conquered my fear of driving. I’m still afraid of that and going long distances to places I don’t know but now I feel that I just gotta go it and I’ll get used to it. It helps that my car is cute and I have stuffed animals 😄 I actually don’t hate driving as much anymore I like going around town with the windows down letting the air mess up my hair.

♥️Questions♥️ (yall should go ask Libby too 🩷)

[celestialtarot11]

Their naughty thoughts of you 🐚🙊

I most definitely am not apologizing for making this post 😤we all get a lil freaky sometimes. Anyway hope ya’ll enjoy! Feel free to like comment and reblog. 18+

divider creds: @fairytopea

Pile 1: Welcome my little friend 😈 anyway ya’ll this is cute. My fluffy and sweet pile. They wanna see you self pleasure and you probably smell really good, so they really like that. They wanna see you dripped out in lingerie, or anything that makes you feel confident and just touch yourself in front of them. There’s something about that fantasy that gets them going. And they also fantasize about cuddling you, definitely have a praise kink 🙊 I am calling this person out—they’re like a teddy bear in bed and they do wanna be close to you as physically as they can. This person would romance you first 😮‍💨 and then get dirty. They care about feelings soo, booty call with feelings kinda vibe 🥺 and they also won’t hesitate to give you water whilst they’re doing you, like “hey you need some of this?” 😭 helpp. They’re funny too. I feel like even in bed they fantasize about awkward cute moments between ya’ll. This is making me gush they are cute lol. Yall could never dating or haven’t done sexual stuff yet, but they definitely think about owning your heart first and worshipping you as you are! They’d take their time and kiss everywhere and make sure you’re all comfortable in bed or where else ya’ll prefer doing the dirty 😭 I also feel like they fantasize about making you cry their name and have you be an emotional mess (in a good way) from all the pleasure. Whoo. Pile 1. There you have it 👀 a lil something spicy. Hope yall enjoyed and feel free to like comment and reblog 🤍

Pile 2: My god pile 2 is it me or is the tension hot on both sides 😭 the person you’re asking about and you. I feel like both of yall have such strong vivid imaginations and wild ideas. I heard it goes both ways, so its not one person if you need confirmation. I feel like your person idolizes you, I heard maneater so they definitely see you as someone to worship. And not just anyone but a divine being. I feel like they wanna do everything right by you—even if it means being submissive to you. They’d fall to their knees for you 😤 this is the kinda energy they’re bringing!! And we’re not complaining 🥺 love to see it. I feel they fantasize about kissing messily, grabbing each other up and pressing everywhere. And fingering, lots of exploring. They wanna feel all the juices everywhere. And I think they fantasize about blowjobs, or at least having their fluids in your mouth. They just want to see the visual of it and replay it over and over. They fantasize about sitting in a chair whilst your between their legs, and they succumb to your touch. Like you’re just their devouring them and they have no choice but to take it 😭 maneater vibes fr. And I also feel like they’re kinda shy about their fantasies which makes it cuter but they want it. They want it to happen. I think they hide it a lot from you and put on a stoic face but deep down they cant ignore their freak!! Their freak is calling them 😩 “is somebody gonna match my freak” help. Its playing in my head 😭 anyway pile 2 yall get a room and get it on or something, hope yall liked this. Feel free to like and comment and reblog 🥰

Pile 3: hey guys, what is this? Damsel in distress fantasy? 😭 guys I feel like your person has a fantasy where you come running to them and you just want in on their world. Like consumed by all their pleasure and wanting only them. Its giving they want you to be hooked and obsessed on their energy, and the way they do you. They want you coming back for more. I have no idea if anyone here is into threesomes—someone here likes that. Also getting high or drinking alcohol might be something they fantasize about. It’s also giving daddy kink like ddlg, I picked up on. I heard pet play too. Im not judging just writing whatever spirit is telling me ☕️ I feel like they dream about you joining their sex filled world. Like this person could be experienced and they fantasize about showing you all the things they know and teaching you—and its like this thing where they help you reach your release because they know your body. They know where to touch and please you. I don’t know if some of yall never had sex before, but I’m picking that vibe too. I feel like this person is possessive of you in bed and only wants your attention on them. They want you completely focused on them. Geez this is intense! 😮‍💨 it’s giving Scorpio and strong mars energy. Maybe they have a lot of mars aspects or placement in their chart. But either way—they have lots of stamina. Strong bdsm vibes. And they want to spend lots of time doing foreplay to draw it out before finally giving in. Only when you’re comfortable. Like I see a feather being trailed down your spine and teasing you—this person KNOWS. Anyway yall, be safe always & at your discretion, have fun 😈 hope yall liked! Feel free to like comment and reblog to help this blog grow.

Thank yall sm for reading! Definitely bringing in that nsfw vibe 😈 hope yall enjoyed the freakiness. 18+ only 👀

Extra 🤍

Paid readings 🤍

[leclercvsx]

FANBOY | SMAU

CHARLES LECLERC

pairings: Charles x singer!reader

summary: charles (and some other drivers) fanboy over y/n and her music.

faceclaim: Huh Yunjin (my wife xo)

warnings: none

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 1,824,264 others

yourusername: i can change everything about me to fit in

y/nfan: IS THIS A SONG LYRIC?!?!

y/nlover: i might cry like actually

fancyy/n: MOTHER IS MAKING A NEW ALBUM IM CALLING IT RIGHT NOW

luvy/n: UGH i need new music rn pls

y/nlover: no because actually

lilymhe: this album will make me sob won’t it

yourusername: maybe🤭

lilymhe: AH HELLO

riabish: so excited !!! 😭

liked by yourusername

loveyy/n: this album gonna be so relatable, i can just tell🫣

l0vey/n: release it already🫣

chae_yung: i heard it first😊

yourusername: don’t tease them😠

eun.7: y’all are about to lose your shit😹

liked by yourusername

—

y/n.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 2,836 others

y/n.jpg: opened the jpg account for a few minutes so welcome new people and old people 🙄

TAGGED: chae_yung and eun.7

lilymhe: i’m honored

chae_yung: i will smack that look off your face

y/n.jpg: girl be for real, i can take you in a fight😤

chae_yung: stfu

danielricciardo: made it just in time😰

y/n.jpg: please go back to redbull, i need it in my life😭

charles_leclerc: i barely made it🙄

y/n.jpg: leave ferrari !!! jk…unless🫣

y/nfan: MOTHER WHEN IS THE ALBUM BEING RELEASED

y/n.jpg: SOON VERY VERY SOON, MY CHILD

eun.7: ew

y/n.jpg: you’re my biggest hater

y/nlover: release the album now🤭

y/n.jpg: how about, no🤭

alex_albon: my girlfriend loves you more than me😔

y/n.jpg: your girlfriend is now my wife 🫶

lilymhe: YES I LOVE YOU

alex_albon: i love you too❤️

lilymhe: not you🙄

—

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 2,538,284 others

yourusername: my new album ‘folklore’ is finally out and available for streaming on ALL platforms!! I hope you guys enjoy this album as much i did making it.

This album means a lot to me and has a few of my favorite songs i’ve ever written on it. Such as ‘This Is Me Trying’, ‘mirrorball’, ‘seven’ and ‘the lakes’.

stream now !! 🫶

y/nfan: NO COS SHE ATE WITH THIS ALBUM

y/nlover: don’t mind me just sobbing over seven

fancyy/n: i BALLED listening to this whole album😭😭

lilymhe: my new favourite album, i love it so much☹️

yourusername: i love YOU so much🫶

charles_leclerc: honestly, one of your best albums.

yourusername: why thank you mr leclerc🤭

alex_albon: lily’s been crying nonstop over this🙄

yourusername: my poor wife :( i didn’t mean to make you cry 😔🫶

lilymhe: you’re forgiven babe❤️

alex_albon: leave MY GIRLFRIEND ALONE

eun.7: meh, it was alright

yourusername: 🙄

chae_yung: so proud of you🫶

yourusername: ily😭

l0vey/n: no cause seven’s chorus made me want to kms☹️

yourusername: please don’t !! 🫶

—

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 1,274,628 others

yourusername: in the words of sebastian vettel (my lover) “Everyone is a Ferrari fan. Even if they’re not, they’re a Ferrari fan” ❤️🏎️

TAGGED: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, ferrari and eun.7

ferrari: ❤️

liked by yourusername

charles_leclerc: it was great meeting you ❤️

yourusername: you too!! 🫶

carlossainz55: ❤️

liked by yourusername

lilymhe: meeting you has made my life complete btw😘

yourusername: AH MY WIFE I LOVE YOU

alex_albon: first you take my girlfriend and now you’re not even a williams fan🙄

yourusername: no one’s a williams fan 🫶

y/nfan: not eunchae wearing a CHECO hat

yourusername: don’t. we’ve had our discussion about THAT.

eun.7: it was so fun tho, even with you there x

yourusername: girl the only reason you were there was because of ME

—

y/n.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 1,728 others

y/n.jpg: currently falling in love with charles leclerc, don’t mind me x (the toto pic is off pinterest…dilf<3)

TAGGED: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: im honoured love😉

y/n.jpg: on my knees rn

eun.7: obsessed much

y/n.jpg: i will literally fight you right now

chae_yung: i ship it 😚

y/n.jpg: 😙😙

lilymhe: i know something people don’t👀👀

y/n.jpg: shh now😉

y/nfan: new relationship = new music 🤪

y/nlover: f1 y/n is my fave y/n😫

eun.7: just realised, don’t you hate ferrari? 🤨

y/n.jpg: when they’re screwing my man over, yes.

—

y/n.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, eun.7 and 2,372 others

y/n.jpg: can i go, where you go❤️

feat freddie the horse cos i missed him sm and duke my not so little puppy 😙

TAGGED: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: i love you ❤️

y/n.jpg: AH i love you too, so much😭😭

y/nfan: NEW SONG??? NEW BOYFRIEND?? IM GOING INSANE

y/nlover: omg an album about being in love💔💔💔

eun.7: why didn’t you take me with you to see freddie😔

y/n.jpg: you didn’t deserve to come x

charles_leclerc: i went with her instead🤭

eun.7: wow, i’ll remember this

lilymhe: HAHA I KNEW THIS FIRST🫶🫶

y/n.jpg: of course bby😘

chae_yung: happy for you!! ❤️

y/n.jpg: i love you so much😭🫶

—

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 875k others

charles_leclerc: stream y/n’s new album, lover ❤️

TAGGED: yourusername

yourusername: hehe, thank you baby😘

charles_leclerc: you’re very welcome sweetheart❤️

charlesfan: they’re adorable🙄

y/ncharles: he’s promoting her new album :((((

carlossainz55: i like the song cornelia street

yourusername: and the song cornelia street likes you, carlos <3

eun.7: makes no sense

yourusername: fuck off

y/nfan: thank you Mr leclerc for being an inspiration for mother to produce a new album🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

y/nlover: i need maathp shooting through my veins

ferrari: ❤️

sebastianvettel: congrats mate, the album is amazing too y/n!

charles_leclerc: thanks mate, but you made her cry of happiness😭

yourusername: i love you😭😭

danielricciardo: i was her fan first btw

yourusername: of course danny😘

ferrarifan: she’s already getting along with his friends😭i😭love😭them😭

i hope you all enjoyed this one shot! i loved making it! although he didn’t really fanboy over her but that’s fine lmao. Small reminder, requests are still open!! 🫶

masterlist | request

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 8

series masterlist | previous part

lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader

landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 207,567 others

landonorris 100th race, p2, and a nice little call with my girl to show off her flexibility. thank you austin

view all comments

user3 ‘MY GIRL’🥹🥹🥹

user7 I KNEWWW EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY

user9 lando have you seen what she’s done?

landonorris have friends? yeah pretty happy for her tbh

charles_leclerc p2 because the fia hates lewis and me*

user2 see everyone the boys are fine

landonorris keep crying mate

yourusername i actually hate you so bad rn

yourusername @/charles_leclerc SURE you don’t wanna date me instead?

user1 HELP Y/N AJDJDJSJ

user6 she said i’ve had ENOUGH

charles_leclerc make me that rice dish again and i’ll consider it

landonorris @/charles_leclerc you don’t even know what tteokbokki is called you don’t deserve her😤

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, lilymhe and 200,087 others

yourusername from monaco with love

👤 tagged alex_albon, lilymhe, charles_leclerc

only people yourusername follows can comment

alex_albon we need to have a serious conversation about how cute lily always looks in the photos you take and yet…. me…

lilymhe that’s just your face baby

charles_leclerc he’s not gonna know what hit him🤫

yourusername you could not have made this sound worse

charles_leclerc i’m quite enjoying being an accessory to internet drama

lilymhe do you know what’s rude? you spend one (1) second with a man and get a dating rumour… yet NOTHING when you hang w me!

yourusername FR we’ve been married for two years atp🙄

landonorris i know a Better place in monaco you can visit🧡

yourusername get your cute butt home and show me then

texts with charles ੈ✩‧₊˚

y/nupdates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris and 10,397 others

y/nupdates y/n at the airport today!! it seems she’s flying out to mexico for the upcoming grand prix 🩷

view all comments

user9 seriously? has everyone just forgotten she’s a cheater?

user3 and yet you follow fan accounts of her??? get a life

user7 ur actually miserable. lando hates u.

this comment has been hidden by the author

y/nupdates any unnecessary hate comments will be deleted and you will be blocked🩷

user8 she’s so pretty even in the rain :( and she stopped to take photos with fans

user1 apparently someone gave her a necklace with an L on it and she put it straight on🥹

user8 @/user1 YOURE KIDDING THATS SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY

user1 THEY GAVE HER A MATCHING BRACELET FOR LANDO WITH HER INITIALS ON AS WELL!!!!

landonorris thank you admin for giving me a new lockscreen

user2 OH MY GOD ADMIN

y/nupdates 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 YOU ARE SO WELCOME

landonorris just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚

tweet 4 should finish: hate towards those close to me*

tweet 6 should finish: blocked by my team**

twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚

mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by yourusername and 165,407 others

mclaren from p17-p5. not the start to the weekend he wanted but he only went and turned it around🙌🏻

view all comments

user2 SO PROUDDDS

user9 all because of her….

user3 HAVE FUN GETTING BLOCKED LMAO

this comment has been hidden by the author

user6 GUYS I THINK MCLAREN ACTUALLY BLOCKED THEM THE COMMENT ISNT SHOWING UP FOR ME LMAOOO

yourusername that’s my boy

mclaren we heard it had something to do with his lucky charm😉

user3 this isn’t taking a week off ma’am

yourusername had to support the boy. it starts now <3

y/nupdates just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚

a/n:

OKAY this part was boring i am very sorry BUT there is onE OFFICIAL PART LEFT. it’ll be a long one i warn now but then there may be a mini epilogue of stuff i fully made up for next summer xxxx

thank you all for coming on this crazy ride with me — sorry it’s aLL OVER THE PLACE atm but it makes sense in my head ok

charles au is also otw next week and a one shot lando smau

taglist (found in pinned post): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicoranorca @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call

[ynbabe]

Fake texts au- pt.8 bffs with the rookies+ The Hangover

Lando being Lando with .jpg and Max and Charles are now involuntary babysitters

| Masterlist |

lando.jpg

liked by 321,023 users

Tagged: @/alex_albon @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri @/its_y/n_love

lando.jpg "we will never drink again" just look at em lie

view all 10,874 comments

landonorris i dont even know how y/n is alive rn

logansargeant fr I don't even remember getting back to the horel its_y/n_love I DRAK TEQUILA FOR YOUR UNGRAEEFUL ASS SMH arthur_leclerc WHY AM I IN A SHOPING CAT??? oscarpiastri why are we sleeping on the road?

its_y/n_love damn slide 5 logsn stole my bikch 😥

oscarpiastri more importantly why am i little spoon? hello? logansargeant cause I'm built diffrnt 😤

maxverstappen Never get them near alcohol. ever again.

charlesleclerc atleast you didn't have to CLIMB UP A BUILDING TO GET ARTHUR AND LOGAN OKAY maxverstappen THATS BECAUSE Y/N AND OSCAR KEPT RUNNING ONTO THE ROAD!!

alex_albon ... why am i crying im slide 4

oscarpiastri cause you weer flirting witn lily and she told you shee had a bf alex_albon understandable

username omg not them drunk answering in the comments 😭

username ong what did they drink ?!?!?1 username tequila apparently username girl ain't no tequila doin all that

username WE FINALLY FOUND HER GUYS

username lando.jpg coming in clutch 💪 username not her endangering the driver's life by sleeping on the road and pushing arthur in a shopping cart 🙄 username fr like this isn't funny they should stop being friends with her look what Max and Charles said username can yall leave the poor girl alone! they're all adults it was their friends first point ofc they're gonna party ion see yall saying shit abt max and his redbull parties 🤨

After your wild night, it was Oscar who came through first, groaning at the awkward position he was sleeping in, his neck sore with a horribly tough and warm pillow under it. He tried shoving it off but was only met with soft groans and a 'fucking stop', well that was enough to wake up the Aussie.

He turned around to be face-to-face with his childhood best friend, he let out a small yelp and pushed himself off the small sofa they were sharing, waking up the others.

"Oh my god, please shut up," came the hoarse voice of his friend Y/n, from the other side of the bed, on which Alex was the only one sleeping, his phone still on Facetime with his girlfriend, Lily.

As Y/n began pulling herself up, a deep Monganesque voice protested, "Y/n, stop moving," making the young woman's eyes widen as she pulled her hand away from the shirtless f2 driver's chest.

"Why aren't you wearing your shirt?" She asked looking at the boy still lying down on the floor, head clutched in his hands, "actually, Albon, why don't you have your shirt either?" she asked pulling herself up and lending her hand to the struggling boy next to her.

"I can answer that," came a woman's garbled voice through Alex's phone making him jump up to grab it, "Arthur fell off the bed onto you and when you pushed him off he used his shirt as a pillow," 'oh, that's why my ribs hurt' the younger woman thought, throwing a look at her friend, "and Alex was 'literally on fire and going to kill whoever messed with the AC'" she said with air quotes, making her boyfriend turn red.

"Thanks, Lily, I'll call you later, love you." he spoke and cut the call, "Remind me to never ever drink with the four of you again."

"Oscar, you kick in your sleep," Logan complained as he sat up, exploring all the black and blue bruises on his body, "why do we look like we were in a fight club?" he asked out loud making the others look at themselves.

Oscar had a few scratches on his knees and arms, Arthur had bruises and scratches littered all across his palms and hands and a nasty hand-sized bruise on his back, Y/n had a swollen nose, with a deep-ish cut along her eyebrow, the only unscathed on was Alex.

They all got dressed not bothering to change, knowing whose room they were in and walked to the private buffet that had been set up for the driver staying in the hotel, courtesy of Paris Hilton's soft spot for Lando.

As soon as they walked in, they were greeted by Lando, smiling and laughing as he recorded with his phone.

"Merde, I'm going to die, shut the lights," the youngest Leclerc said as he threw himself on the chair, closest to him, letting his head fall back. Y/n was next to accept the defeat of being conscious, sitting and immediately letting herself slump over her head smacking the wooden table with a loud thud, the woman would have been hurt if Logan hadn't moved his hand under her face, letting it bear the brunt of the impact. The blonde wasn't in any better shape, throwing one of the table napkins on his face to block out all light and noise. Oscar was the last to sit, simply clutching his head in his hands, almost pulling out his hair, at the massive headache he had.

Soon after, the unwilling babysitters followed, scowling at the sight of the supposed adults who were in no condition to be awake.

"All four of you, delete my number from your phone," the Dutchman spoke as he sat down next to his British friend, "eighty-two calls of all of you singing Barbie girl at 2 IN THE MORNING," he yelled slightly making the four whine.

"Please for the love of god shut up," the Aussie spoke up surprising the three sober men.

"Arthur mate, what did you all drink?" his brother asked laughing.

"Last I remember were the shots," he answered in broken French and English.

"So you don't remember when you all ran out of the club and went to Costco?" Lando spoke with a smirk, "And Y/n pushed Arthur around in the parking lot in the shopping carts,"

"What?" the pair asked, the girl sitting up, letting the blonde take back his hand.

"Oh, that is not even the worst part," Charles continued, "You and Oscar stole traffic cones, put them over your head and began tackling each other, and slept on the road," he chuckled making the duo look at each other with wide eyes.

"Oh and let's not forget when Logan and Arthur climbed up a building," he said knudging the brunette next to him. The two in question looked sheepishly at the older men and back onto the table.

"I am never going to drink, ever again," Y/n groaned as she tried to keep her eyes open.

"Yeah right, let's see you in Vegas," The youngest Leclerc sniped, making the girl throw the napkin of Logan's face on Arthur.

"Hey, guys," Lando called out bringing everyone's attention to him, the six waited as Lando's eyes widened and widened, "WHY IS THERE A TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLAR CHARGE ON OSCAR'S COMPANY CARD?!"

oof this one was long af 😭 but I hope yall like how chaotic the boys get when they're with Y/n, cause we menaces frfr.

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1

[11queensupreme11]

Hello queen, sorry but I wanted to know how the yanderes would react to knowing that technically Percy is considered a bastard girl and not a princess since Poseidon was married to Amphitrite and she already had sons and daughters with her and she is not technically a princess, her sisters are and she is not very loved by her father's family (amphitrite, Triton and her daughters Rhodes and Cimponela) And that Percy Poseidon technically "abandoned" her even before she was born and that she has practically only seen him like 5 times and most of them were so that she either went on a mission or had just finished Upon returning from a mission and that Percy knows how to fight technically, Poseidon, Apollo and Hades do not believe her capable of even handling a knife well.😆

THEY WOULD BE SO PISSED LMAOOO like "wdym the princess isn't a princess, that's not funny, don't lie to me 😡"

and yes, they ALL would be pissed. ALL OF THEM.

it's not just a title to them, being part of the royal family means a life of privilege and safety, and if percy was never declared a princess in the pjo verse, than that means she has NO privilege of safety. they really just got this girl out in the wild (new york) fighting for her life 24/7 LMAO

poseidon would be the most pissed for obvious reasons. he does not care if she's a bastard child (and also dare you call my baby that 😡🔱), she should be a princess in his eyes!!! she's better than all the other dumb kids his stupid counterpart has! and he'd be so pissed that she's fighting too, like his baby is supposed to be a princess doing princessy things!!! not fighting! percy's the star of all of these quests and she quite literally has no choice BUT to go, but he doesn't care, he'd demand someone else go cuz he's not putting his baby in danger!!!

(don't even mention the fact that pjo!poseidon's other demigod kids were born into royalty from the mom's side so they were all princes too whereas percy's really just that one Commoner Kid poseidon has LMAOOOO 😭😭😭 she's the peasant of the family 😂)

if hades had a heart, he'd be clutching it and having a heart attack. okay, percy's not a princess? fine, okay, he's not happy but whatever. BUT IF YOU TELL HIM THAT SHE'S OUT THERE FIGHTING BECAUSE SHE'S A DEMIGOD, AND THAT'S JUST WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A DEMIGOD IN THAT WORLD???? lmao he is putting his foot DOWN 😤😤😤 girls should not be fighting! they should be locked away under the protection of their family because they need to be safe!!! and percy's just a baby 🥺 she shouldn't be exposed to violence 🥺🥺🥺 (he'll deadass say that while percy's drowning a horde of monsters behind him 😭)

apollo is screaming, crying, and throwing up like "the love of my life... is a PEASANT??? NOOOOO 😭😭😭😭" percy: it's really not that bad--"WHY MUST LIFE BE SO UNFAIR TO HER???? NOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭" he'd be going on and on about how he would treat her SO well and give her the life she deserves, and she's just going all "please don't" but he wouldn't listen 💀

beelzebub already knows of this, she told him as much. she never outright told him that she has no royal title, but cmon he went to new york with her and she showed him the shitty apartment she used to live in 💀 it was very easy for him to figure out that she's a fucking peasant 😭. so yeah, the whole princess thing isn't a big deal to him, but he thinks it's unfair that most of poseidon's other demigod sons had higher status and percy's just That Broke Bitch 😭 percy also vaguely told him about the monsters too, but when he ACTUALLY sees how bad it is (+ quests + wars) he's gonna freak out and kidnap her away 💀

loki would laugh at her for being a peasant LMAOOOOO 💀 im sorry but he really would 😭😭😭😭 so yeah, he wouldn't care that she wasn't a princess, he'd probably make fun of her and get annoyed when it doesn't bug her. she genuinely does not care about royal titles so nice try loki 💀 he will, however, sing a different tune once the monster attacks and quests start rolling in. he'd be pissed and flabbergasted like "WHY do all these stupid prophecies keep involving you?! it's not like you're special or anything!!!" once it dawns on him that she truly is The Main Character, he's gonna freak out too because "holy shit hahaha this is kinda dangerous for you, maybe i should kidnap you away?? 🙃"

anubis would feel upset that she's not a princess (his nickname for her is "Tiny Princess" btw guys!!!! 🥺🥺🥺) but he'll just go "don't worry babe, you're still MY tiny princess no matter what they say!!! 🥰💖💖💖" and he actually wouldn't mind the quests, monster attacks, etc. he'd watch her fight and be like "woooooow she's so cool 😃" until she gets an owie 💀💀💀💀 then it finally clicks in his head that oh no she could die, and that's when he really becomes feral. he'd probably jump in and destroy whatever hurt her (let it be a monster, a random root she tripped on, or maybe some young camper accidentally misaims during archery class and grazes her). he's destroying it regardless and hauling her back to his palace like "*sniff sniff* Tiny Princess... 🥺🥺🥺🥺 are you okay???? 🥺🥺🥺" and she'd be like "anubis... i tripped on a rock" "I KNEW THAT WORLD WAS TOO DANGEROUS FOR YOU, I'M SUCH A BAD MATE IM SORRY 😭😭😭😭 💔"

(also, wait lmao, you know the whole lamia thing and how she set a curse so that all monsters would be able to sniff out demigods??? ANUBIS WOULD BE PERFECT FOR THIS CUZ HE COULD JUST SCENT HER LIKE IN THOSE OMEGAVERSE FICS LMAOOOOOO)

[calumfmu]

your fics are godly. you wouldnt know you were in a slump!

could i request eddie and steve fighting over reader? like eddie shows up at family video and steve is stood between readers legs feeding her red vines and shes playing with his hair and eddie is like 😤 game on steven.

Hiii babe <3 thank you so muchhh. like genuinely, I could cry rn. Im really fucking trying lmfaoo so I hope this is good :)))) Steddie x Reader (who is playing them both) cw: swearing, allusions to sex, 2.1k+ words (I did it y'all + working on edits are next bc I'm shit at them, I can only do collage)

“Just call me for what time to pick you up, okay?” Eddie’s voice was soft when he spoke to you, tires screeching to a halt as the van pulled up in front of the Family Video. You were shy behind the smile that nursed your lips, trying not to fully beam at him as he ran out to open your passenger door.

“Yeah, yeah, I know the deal, Munson,” you teased, hoping out with your bag thrown over your shoulder.

He stood up close in your space, nearly chest to chest with you as he reached up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. He smelled like leather, the familiar scent filling your senses like a heated towel.

“Just looking out for my favorite girl,” he whispered, pecking your nose as you rolled your eyes playfully at his comment. You weren’t his girlfriend, but he loved to tease you when it came to claiming you as his. You couldn’t even pretend to be upset at it, loving the way he called you his and the pet names that followed.

“Is that what I am now?”

“My one and only.”

The look on his face warmed you up, his hair blowing in the wind as he leaned down to press his lips to yours. The kiss was soft, lips touching with the briefest sensation of want— remnants of your time spent in the hazy morning in his trailer, seated on his lap, pushing him down into the mattress.

You heard a throat clear to your right, only for you to look up and see Robin standing with her arms crossed, leaning against the glass door of the video store.

“You’re gonna be late,” she grumbled, shaking her head at the two of you intertwined. Blushing, you pulled away from him, his hand outstretching to hold yours for as long as possible while you took a few steps away. He reluctantly let go, your arms being stretched as the distance increased to be too much for contact.

“Call me!”

You nodded at him, waving him goodbye as he leaned against the van door. Meeting Robin’s side, you bumped your shoulder with hers.

“You know, you’re going to have to make a decision some day,” she said, holding the door open for you as you walked in. Your heart kicked up at her words, clearing your throat to ease away the discomfort.

“What do you mean?”

You fawned innocence, eyes batting up at her as she gave you that all knowing look. The two of you made it a few steps into the business, your eyes immediately searching for that chestnut colored mane, puppy dog eyes lingering amongst the aisles.

“You know what I mean,” she said, leaning into your ear so her words wouldn’t carry far. “They’re not dumb, you know.”

“Still don’t know what you’re talking about.” You called out behind you as you made your way around the counter. She grumbled something in reply, it being lost as you as your mind was set on one thing.

You gave her a cheery smile, walking to the back office to place your things down. Immediately upon entering, there he was— Steve, your other situation, if you could call it that. The serious look on his face immediately flipped around upon laying his eyes on you, teeth bared in a smile with his eyebrows raised.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, no. You didn’t mean to be playing both sides of the fence, Eddie on one hand, reserved for late nights and early mornings, Steve on the other, day time charades and afternoon picnics.

It just happened. Maybe somewhere along the mysterious shit that always happened around Hawkins where you got to spend time with reformed king more or the effort to clear the Munson boys name, you happened to fall for the two of them. At the same time. It wasn’t your fault, okay? They were both too pretty to make a decision, too good to you in their different ways, too much to be able to put down.

“Hi, pretty girl,” he muttered before crossing the floor to meet you in an embrace. You felt safe in his arms too, chest broad in muscle, cinnamon scent encompassing you. It was different than Eddie’s, yet all the same. “You’re late.”

You looked up at him, chin at his chest as his eyes stared down at you. Sleep wore on his face, big eyes drooping slightly, exhaustion from the early morning showing.

“Only 5 minutes,” You pouted, bottom lip jutting out. “You’d cover for me right? My ride was a little hectic.”

“You know I always do.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, pulling you out of the break room to meet Robin on the floor. She was labeling VHS cases, tongue poked out at the corner of her mouth as she focused on getting the stickers straight. Following his lead, he settled next to her, dividing the pile while you took a seat on the countertop, opening a box of candy that had just been shipped in.

Your legs swung in front of you, hitting the backboard of the counter you sat on. While the three of you focused on morning duties, your foot hit Steve’s thigh every now and then, smirk on your lips as you knew he would get “frustrated” eventually and “snap”.

“Babe,” he warned, pushing your foot with his hip as he threw a tape down on the pile. You laughed under your breath, grabbing packs of Red Vines out of the case.

“What am I doing?” You cocked your head to the side, not yet wanting to look up at the look he was giving you. You tapped him again, toe pointed as his hand reached down to grab your ankle.

“Playing dumb is really your strong suit,” Robin commented, raising her eyebrows as she looked at the two of you. You shot her a look, urging her to not continue as Steve rose an eyebrow.

“Rob, shut up,” you laughed, throwing the balled up packing tape you had accumulated from the boxes at her. She dodged it as she laughed, throwing her own scraps from labels towards you.

Steve’s grip on your ankle tightened slightly, he slid in between your parted legs, hips pressed flush against the counter as you tried to maneuver out of the grip, laughing as he locked you in.

“Playing dumb? You’re the smartest girl I know,” he teased, helping you unpack the candy while still seated between your legs. Robin made a face at you from behind him, immediately going serious when Steve turned around to give her a look. She loved teasing you whenever she had the opportunity, all jokes in good fun, no matter what she thought of the predicament you found yourself in.

“That’s so rude, Harrington,” she said, rolling her eyes as she took a stack of tapes to re-shelf. You watched as she walked away, getting lost in an aisle closer to the door.

He ignored her, placing his hands on your thighs as he abandoned the candy. You held a box of licorice in your hands, toying at the corners as you looked at him. The look on his face grew more serious, eyes squinted as he pursed his lips.

“I wanna know though… what are you so good with playing dumb at that Robin had to be oh, so mysterious about?”

Your heart lurched at his question, eyes darting down to look at the blue box in hand. The corner ripped underneath your hand, plastic being pulled back as you found sudden interest in it.

“Nothing.”

He hummed at the short answer, fingers coming up to pull your chin to focus on him. You met his eyes, chocolate brown wide as you melted at the look.

“Is that so?” Steve’s voice was low, a deep grumble coming from his chest. His fingers found your hips, pulling him into you quickly that made you yelp, candy flying everywhere as your hands flew up to grab at him.

“Steve! Look what you made me do!”

“You still didn’t answer me.”

You groaned, looking at the mess of red candy that laid around you. He picked up a stick of licorice, taking a bite out of it before feeding it to you. You smiled around it, hand coming up to rest at his chest as you went to push him away from you. His scent of cinnamon hit you, preventing you from the motion, instead curling your fingers into the fabric of his striped shirt, sat under his vest. You dragged it up the length of his body, settling into his hair as you curled a piece of it between your fingertips.

“Hey, uhhh… you guys…” Robin’s voice was wary as she spoke across the floor, yet the two of you didn’t register it, focused on each other.

She hurriedly made her ways towards you guys, foot steps coming closer as her gaze was focused on something outside the doors. You took another bite of the candy from Steve’s fingers, looking up at him through your lashes as you made a show of it.

The bell above the door rang, signaling entry as the two of you remained distracted.

“You forgot your jacket in my…”

Your heart stopped. You recognized that voice. Eddie stood there, your jean jacket in his hand as he faltered his steps, feet away from the counter. The look on his face dropped, eyes glaring at Steve who stood in front of you. Pushing him away, you hoped off the counter.

Robin stood frazzled behind him, eyes wide as her eyes glinted between the three of you. Her mouth was dropped open, cringing at the awkward situation it was.

“Steve.”

The tone of the name had you cringing, realizing that Eddie saw you at no fault, this was up to Steve. He slowly made his way up to the counter, jean jacket being placed on the flat surface as he stared down the younger man.

“Than—” You cleared your throat. “Thank you, Eddie.”

He hummed in response, not breaking the staring contest that he found himself in. Steve shifted uncomfortably, quickly swallowing down the piece of candy he had.

“You had her jacket in your van?” The realization of the situation began to dawn on him, voice dripping with the same tone Eddie had. It was all directed towards the long haired man, leaving you out of it.

“Mhmm,” Eddie said, crossing his arms over his chest. You felt small between them, both boys beginning to size each other up. “She must have left it last night when she came over.”

You shot a look at Robin, begging her to help you as you didn’t know what to do. She shrugged at you, mouthing ‘told you so’ before turning on her heel, scurrying away from the budding altercation. Sighing, you placed a hand at your forehead, the temperature in the building rising suddenly.

“Came over?” Steve asked, stepping up to the counter, closer to him. You were grateful for the separation between them, not daring to think about what would’ve happened if it wasn’t there.

“That’s right, pretty boy.” You don’t think you had heard Eddie ever speak to Steve in that manner, them becoming ‘friends’ in the most recent months.

“That must have been after our trip in my car.” Steve’s eyebrow shot up. “To Skull Rock.” His palm pressed on the counter, leaning over in his direction. “After sunset.”

You could’ve passed out right then and there if it weren’t for the way Eddie suddenly smiled at him, teeth bared in a grin you had only seen reserved for you. He walked even closer to the counter, face inches away from Steve’s at this point.

“Touché, Harrington.”

With a quirk of his eyebrow, he turned away, walking towards the door. His hand shot out to push it open, lingering in the frame before turning to face you.

“See you later, sweetheart. Pick you up at 6, normal time?”

The subtle nod of your head had him smiling even wider, the chains around his neck clinking together as he tilted his head in response.

“She’s got plans with me at 7, Munson!” Steve’s voice shouted out to him as he exited, a loud ‘HA!’ left behind in his wake. The counter swung shut, bell ringing as the shutters on the door rattled.

You just stood there for a minute, wondering what the fuck you got yourself into. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, most definitely wasn’t supposed to be discovered like this. You closed your eyes, leaning onto the counter with your elbows, head rested in your hands.

“You are so fucked,” Robin laughed, returning to your side. You just nodded in response, palms digging into your eye sockets. Stars floated behind your closed lids, dancing in the darkness behind them.

“Shut it, Robin.”

Masterlist. Inbox and requests are open! Part two <3

[naoknowswhat]

OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS SO????!'!3!_!)#(_+(2£+1++£+2 I'M IN TEARS 😭😭💖

Look, i knew something bad had happened to them kitties and their family but DAYUM HFBWKDJWKDNKWS I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH!!!!

TW: This chapter can be found disturbing, read at your own risk.

Friday 29th—2 days left.

When did the clock change? It was Thursday minutes ago! This is confusing... What is this place? Why does it look like home? Where is your brother? Oh no, your brother!

You decide to explore around.

It's eery... there are scratch marks on the walls, the floor is dirty and every single room is a mess. There are bones on the corners and the doorframes are missing... The portraits and art pieces are burnt to a crisp and you can't hear anything... as if your good ear had gone deaf. You will regret it, you will regret it the second you do it, but you feel your tiny paw moving to...

Take your bandages off.

Your damaged ear, the one you almost lost the day of the accident... you were walking outdoors, like you had always been doing, when all of a sudden you lost track of your pawprints and started walking back in the wrong direction. You ended up in the train station... The wind started to pick up with an unbrlievable strenght, too much for a small kitty to handle. It sent you towards the rails and before you could even de anything... a train appeared.

To say that you almost lost your life was an understandment. But fortunately, you owner had ran outside to find you. She screamed and cried your name, but you couldn't hear her. You looked awful, like a destroyed plushie abandoned by the little kid who used to play with you... That day the shadows witnessed her power. Drawing forbidden marks on the dirt, she was capable of summoning one of the most powerful entities with only her own tears. She knew that was a mistake, but she just couldn't let you go.

The void.

She sold them her own soul to protect yours. That's why you were mad at her. She could've let you go, meet the light and their sacred land, but she decided to cause herself so much damage that no god could ever heal. But she did it for you: Her cat, her baby. One of her babies. She knew she wouldn't be around for too long, so she decided to make memories with you and your brother, memories that will last forever in eternity.

You look towards the only family photo that's left in this place. It was a trip to the fields. She sat on the grass holding you, both of you smiling while Deca was playing with a butterfly. You promised yourself to protect your familly, to love them and to always fight for them.

And you will do it.

You'll start by looking for your brother.

But where is he?

Neutral ending (???)

OMG I can't believe I'm going to finish this... my next project will deffinitely be longer and wayyy more cute bc I'm honestly crying rn :((

At least the neutral ending is kind of happy

Thanks for all the support!

Any advice is appreciated <3

@naoknowswhat

[sordidmusings]

out of curiosity, what's the upcoming sir crocodile fics on your masterlist about? 👀✨️ no big deal if you want to keep it a surprise though, im excited!

Thanks for the ask!! The Croc fics are a comfort fic and a two part smut fic lol

And in case you’re interested, I just posted a separate Croc ficlet and headcanon thing How to Break Rules! It’s a request similar to the two part smut in that it’s about Croc being the one to say no kisses and the many ways that rule could eventually be broken.

For an idea of the comfort fic, here’s the first paragraphs:

Sir Crocodile was pissy and perturbed. He had awoken his least favorite way: to an empty bed that only held his own warmth. No matter how he shuffled his bulk around the expanse of the bed, he couldn’t find a hint of the comfort he needed to return to his slumber.

Now, he wasn’t always so demanding for a bed-partner, but he’s found himself spoiled for the last long stretch of months. Before then, his bed only knew a menagerie of fancies that would visit whenever he wanted to tend to his appetites. Then he sank his teeth in you and found every other taste wasn’t quite as succulent, as sweet, as savory, as addictive. He sought you out immediately, never wanting a bite of his favorite treat too far. Croc was taken aback when each time he savored you, you managed to naturally tend to his other hungers too, some he didn’t even know were so starved before you. His hunger for smooth domination, his hunger for a curious mind, his hunger for engaging conversation, his hunger for a companionable presence, and his hunger for genuine adoration. You offered him it all and so readily, and yet you’ve now slipped out of his bed and he needs to know why.

And then after that he searches and finds you Staring Into The Void because head won’t shut up at night and helps talk you through the fears and anxieties and insecurities you’ve been having in the blunt but leading way that Croc would. I feel like he’d be a good one for making you feel like your anxieties are stupid but you aren’t stupid for having them. More than mushy gushy sweetness, he’d guide you through the feelings until you feel comfortable letting go of some of the ones that don’t serve you. He’d be very grounding both in how sure he is and also with how touchy he’d be through the process so you know all of it is done in love and support, even if his words aren’t flowery and romantic.

And of course, he’d lean on the type of support and affection he’s comfortable in giving - physical and material support lol you want to be in your comfort room by the fireplace? Okay he’ll make you the comfiest makeshift bed on the floor of all the stupidly expensive cushions and blankets he has. It would be quite the grand sight cuz of course he needs to fit in it too. You’ve done a lot of crying but don’t worry here’s some water to help with the headache of it and to make sure you don’t wake up dehydrated. Stop fussing with the blankets he’s supposed to tuck you in 😤

A night that started with you feeling overwhelmed and lonely ends with you feeling safe and loved, Sir Croc curled around your back while you fall asleep in front of the dwindling fire. He makes sure to run his hands over you gently or play with your hair if you tense or your breathing picks up again from the remnants of your earlier distress. You even hear him hum gently to you because he knows how much you adore his voice. Just never let anyone know he does that or he may never do it again (that’s absolutely a fake threat as he can never deny you anything for long)

Now for the second!! This one was requested 🤍Instead of a full snip I’m gonna show some banter I’m working on for it lol the long and short is that you’re Croc’s advisor and are just about as dominant of a person as he is. This often leads to clashing egos despite the relationship overall being beneficial to you both. As tensions rise so does obsession. You decide to proposition him to let off some steam together but you give him one rule: no kissing on the lips. That’s only for those who are in love. He throws some rules back at you to try and balance the power dynamic and you accept them easily. Now how does it work out? Does it become a deliciously hateful fling or does it work so well that you two begin to see each other in a whole new light?

Now silly banter/arguing 👏🏻:

Reader: “You’re the one who hired me for my input”

Croc: “That was before I knew you found it fun to vex me”

R: “I don’t disagree with you because it’s fun, I do it because you need it to keep everything going smoothly”

C: “Are you saying I can’t run my own damn empire?”

R: “I’m saying you can’t run it without me”

C: “I can find a hundred argumentative brats running amok in this very casino; why do I need you?”

R: “Because I don’t do it to piss you off, I do it to help you! And you’re just as bullheaded as me; maybe you’re the brat”

C: “Watch it”

R: “Oh, I thought we were meant to treat each other as equals? You can throw insults my way but I send the same one back and it’s too far?”

Croc gets into your space to loom over you

C: “From where I’m standing right now you’re on much lower footing”

R: “Underestimating someone based on their size? I thought you were better than that.”

I hope you enjoyed the little peaks and that they live up to your expectations when I get them done! Thank you again for asking 😘🤍🤍

[aachria]

I am so unbelievably nervous for this chapter pooks you dont even know it andthe title sure doesn't sound very promising at all

Writing as im reading once again but I noticed how long my chapter commentary has been gwtting so I'll tryyyy to Tone It Down but i make no promises. The length of my commentary is only dictated by how absolutely crazy you decide to make this chapter.

Ace and Sabo giving ed a shovel talk is everything ive wanted since the marriage i beg you to let ace live long enough to get mad at ed for not telling him pretty please 😭🙏

Oooh the gift for Sabo i was gonna send an ask abt it since ive been rereading the fic this weekend but i figured you wouldn't forget it

LUFFY AND SABO INTERACT8ONS 😤🦅😭😤🦅😭😤😭🦅😤😭🦅😭😤😭🦅😭🦅😭🦅🙏🙏🗣🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Im very much unready to read the strawhats be separated i have cried too many times reading this fic and im certain this will be the worst to date

STOP 😭 ed's jst going on abt keeping the crew safe and i can feel the tears coming

HOLD ON if ed is in fact staying with luffy, thing i should've guessed from last chapter, does that m3an they're meeting boa? Omg. I am suddenly so much more excited for the next set of chapters, thing that i did not think was possible.

Once again i ask myself when the fuck ed learned gymnastics 😭

Not the "i definitely did that on purpose" after they slam into a fucking building like sure you did 🤨 and i definitely believe you 🤨

"Its as straight as you can get" made me crack up

I will be so completely honest with you i have no idea what the fuck is going on like a good 40% of fights but thats jst because i have trouble translating the moves into a movie in my head

"Adam Sandler? What are you doing here? And in a bright yellow pinstripe suit sounding stoned out of his damn mind, too." I had not expected to laugh this much in this chapter i was fr bracing myself to cry. 🧍‍♀️. Now that i think abt it you might just be lowering our guard so that it hits harder 🤨

AND ED'S SAVIOR COMPLEX HITS AGAIN WITH BLAMING THEMSELVES ONCE MORE !!!

so. Luffy and Ed separation. I cant bring myself to be sad this shit was written so well 😭 just "wait for me" and "ill always find you" ugh just throw an "unquestionably" in there and id cry there could be one every chapter and id still cry every single time

Im so fucking excited for ed to meet coin hopefully next chapter 🤭

Amazing chapter as always!! Surprisingly didnt cry!! Thank you!! I cannot fucking wait for the Wednesday chapter

I pulled out the Rio Romeo you KNOW it was gonna be a rough one.

Tfw you're tying to give your baby brother's S/O the shovel talk but you're also stuck in the scaffolding at your own execution and your baby brother's S/O is also your friend who you have cried about your self worth and daddy issues to.

That fucking black book plot bunny has been hopping around FAR TOO LONG, so I had to take it out back and shoot it and by that I mean finally deliver it to it's intended recipient.

Mmmmmmm Boa

Look Ed had gymnastics beamed directly into their head by GOD does that make sense?

When I write combat I do it 70% for the vibes 20% for the quips and humor and 10% for the actual fighting. If you have no idea what is happening you and I are on the same page.

Ed got them self worth issues in them where the dog should be 💪💪💪

God I cannot wait for Coin & Ed content. Love those two.

I am so proud of you for not crying. I cried writing it. That baby was cooked with TEARS.

[tht0nesimp]

sexy slut 👑 give yandere feitan ick right now you hoe/pos <3 🥰😍😤

whatever you hot ass bitch 🙄

cw: torture, mentions of eye torture, feitan is so icky and mean, gross ig, fear of being killed, reader is kind of a cry baby according to fei

Feitan has so many icks, his obvious inability to talk to anyone even if he really does love someone is a pretty obvious one. Even when he does choose to actually talk to you? its more than likely about some form or technique of a torture he has performed/heard about

He doesn't always mean to be so mean or quiet-even if he does love when you get uncomfortable and tense up around him- He really does want you to be able to relax around him- But, he would also rather swallow a phillips head screw-driver than tell you he enjoys being around you, he cant stand the idea of using the L word....love

Can you blame him? He grew up without an official identity, parents, or any advantages.

Another ick of feitans is that-He doesnt mean to be rude- But his compliments are...strange? It can range from just telling you that you have beautiful eyes, hed love to keep them, to cutting off a small piece of your hair randomly. Of course, he hasnt even considered that the reason you immediately cover your eyes after the keeping them comment is because of something he was doing wrong! He doesnt get it, he tries to be less creepy if your really nice about it, but it normally just makes it go from "Your nails are pretty, theyd look good on a necklace" To "Your nails are pretty, im going to keep you here forever" All in all, its a mere game of picking your poison whether it be threats of taking body parts or promises of eternity in his musty old basement

How could i forget, his...oversharing about his job can be rather unpleasant to anyone who isnt, y'know, a full blown sadistic torturer. Never watch any show/movie with a torture scene unless you want him to demonstrate on his next job, or he might show you a video of his doing it on recording it as a "joke" and he will probably just laugh sadistically if you push away or flinch at a specifically gruesome part

He might even pry your eyes open....While talking about maybe making that comment about keeping your eyes a reality....Just kidding! Hes not gonna kill you, he still doesnt get why your crying? Hes letting you blink- In his eyes- enough. Your such a baby, its just a video!

Lucky for you, its only about 10min long! He turns on some movie he stalked you while you watched it just so happens to know is one of your favorites....Dont worry about getting punished for the little freak-out, if anything, he might just buy you some subscription to a streaming service as a little joke back at you!

All in all, he is icky, a torturer, but buys you netflix every month from that point forward and maybe poke your eyes

[helpfandom]

(Me reading your yandere Kranng fic) I only know Kevin for a few seconds but if anything happened to him I would cry🥺 (me reading the ending ) NOOOO!! Not my boy Kevin!😭😭 

Not gonna lie , if I was in that situation I would low-key have trust issues with the turtles if there did that to me , especially you Don! 👈😤

I read your TMNT stories which were amazing by the way , love reading your thoughts 💓

But now you got me wondering how 2007 Splinter gonna react that he suddenly a grandpa who has tons of grandkids since his sons are just nabbing them from there homes XD

Underneath is the fanfiction. Over cut is author notes.

Thank you!! <3<3<3 I mean, unfortunately, 2012 Don don't got eyes for you, he's got eyes for april, which leads to... unfortunate circumstances.

Im sorry about Kevin. 🥺 (not really) he was a very needed sacrifice for realism.

I didn't think about it before, if we're going off of the thought of my HCs Splinter, then he feels guilty. You're not supposed to be here, in the sewers with them, you're supposed to be on the surface, with the other humans. Because of his failing as a master, you've been kidnapped so often.

For fanfiction purposes though, we'll go off of this original apprehension to taking children home, even to the point of bringing you home himself once he figured out the turtles were lying to him about taking you back.

How he would find out about that is likely a slip up by Mikey. Mikey would say something along the lines of asking Donnie to set up a camera, and Splinter would connect the dots.

At what point he would give up is.... questionable. Who's to say that once Leo, LEO, the responsible one brought Reader home for the 4th or 5th time, he gave up and accepted it.

He would try to make it comfortable for his grandkid[s]. (Truly depends on if you consider Reader to be one or multiple because of the turtles.)

Splinter is in a constant state of anguish. He truly doesn't want this to happen to you, {or the you's} but... is it wrong that he hoped for more children to raise... and he's okay with it if it means he can raise you?

He would often end up being the one that Reader could go to if they are frustrated or angry with any of the turtles, and he would stop all of the turtles from seeing you(s).

He would end up being the one hope that Reader would have in either escape, or having a normal(ish) life. He wouldn't teach you{s} how to fight, Which Leo appreciates, and Raph hates, but he wouldn't let you go either. If it means making his boys happy... Who's to say that you can't be happy in the sewers, I mean, look at his boys, they turned out fine.

[laylawatermelon]

Heartstopper Full Series Thoughts after each ep 😊

Spoilers below !! 👇🏾

Preface: my queer little heart adores this show and the ace rep in there!

After watching or TLDR: As a pan ace person inject this straight into my being as it's the queer rep we need and also a blessing to my eyes and heart every time.

I loved everything about it. The rest of the stuff down there is just my funny thoughts and a bit of philosophy and film analysis.

Ep 1

Ah yes my pan heart adores this show. Yasmin my heart beats for you endlessly. Tao..... U got it bro 🥲

The i love you scene is the sweetest thing I've ever seen.... I love love 😭😭

I hate crying to this show (hormones don't help 😭😭😭)

Tara and Darcy always love their storylines and complexities. Also their communication skills!

Ep 1 done!

Ep 2

Teehee the imagination scenes....

Ooh the i love yous

And the nick anxiety....

The title card was ominous

The color grading is beautiful though

Ah yes teenager angst

Also the co-parenting on tori???

Aw the little hesitancy from nick i get that babes 🥹

Eeee the teachers (lmao the cliche of teachers dating each other)

That tiny grandma car is insane

Rachel chinouriri!!!!!

Why's Tara upset about great grades ?

Awee nick and his little cousins

Ugh these imagination scenes are killing me

Ooh not the selfie

Ugh the aroace (and charlie and the food 😭)

I love the use of music in this series

Nick that's very specific (she's a psychiatrist she's gonna find out)

Darcy always speaking her mind i love it

😭😭😭Tori

Now you gonna put the straights on my screen 😤 (lmao very jk)

I love Elle's hair (not what I'm supposed to be focused on 🤣🤣)

Oh lawd Isaac

Lmao tori (her: i don't got time to learn them kids names)

I love Isaac's honesty and i just love Isaac

Platonic love for the win !!!

Oh i thought he was watching something savory 😏 but it's the same colors as the diagnosis website 😟

Twas right

Eheh something else

Smt lmaooo it wasn't savory time actually

Ohh the anxiety behind being left behind makes sense with tao

Communication 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

This couple pleases my eyes

I LOVE YOU RAHHHHHH

A gay person like me shouldn't be this happy i feel like im going to burst (rahhhhhh)

🌈🌈🌈

Charlie 😭😭😭

CHARLIE 😭😭😭😭😭

Nick you're probably worrying your aunt

Jeez kit and 16 year old in the same sentence made me giggle a bit (i just realized he's like 2 years younger than me 😭😭😭😭 i feel ancient)

Tara's nails are really pretty

I love his aunt + the message given

Ep 2 done!

Gotta get into the soundtrack as always!

Ep 3

I get it now... This show has the classic teen movie intros that's what makes it so special

Kit/Nick is just massive

Don't think Tara wants to have extra responsibility ?

Yay more queers !!! Always good to see the fam (Elle's crew)

Oooh secret relationship with the teachers ahhhhhhh

Yay more gays!

The coach 😂😂😂

Ugh. Hi. Hi. Aghhhhhh !!!

Ugh homophobia 🙄

Oop thought they were gonna get in trouble with the teachers

Ooooh (this is how to win a time war bigolas iykyk)

Oohh Charlie like mmmm clock it

Ugh the bullying was horrible and it did big damage to his mental health 😭

Ewwww they said i love each other 😊😊😊😊😊

Lmao Tori

His jumper is really nice i want it 🤗

Hooray animals (zoos are ehhhh though)

Is Darcy nonbinary? (I don't think she was in the comic but i might be misremembering)

Oooh Isaac babes this isn't the right time 😔

Oop charlie snapping

Tao and isaac are both immature i love it (like siblings)

Tao is like okaaayyy i see ittt

Lmao sahar and imogen

Coming out scene ! Aw the cute am i gay quiz (i failed every one i took by the way)

Ohh tao caught on 😟

The i love yous are killing me

Lmao i give you the gift of your clothes back 🤣🤣

Ughh he got the cute jumper i love (the pink it calls to me!)

The ILOVEYOU !!! (im sorry I'm obsessed)

I love the communication 💕 I'm also sobbing 😭😭😭

Tori 😭😭😭

Ep 3 done!

They did a really good job with the scene at the end and talking about mental health

Also i could relate to charlie a bit with the control thing and repeating thoughts/ocd intrusive (im good though! It's really mild and barely appears unless stressed or something)

Ep 4 start!

Yeah journaling!

The bi and lesbian unite!

Ugh Charlie 😭😭😭

The trees growing out of the corner is beautiful

Not this song 😭😭😭😭

Nick was so good 😭😭😭😭

Oh lawd boutta crash a car

Awww his friend are so cute

Ugh Tara's nails are iconic

Oooh say CAAAPPP (tain America ) 🎶caaaappp🎶

Is that Billie eilish i hear ?

Is Nick okay ???

Lmao sahar and imogen?????

This party is hilarious

I thought Tara was gonna be the one to help but it's interesting that it's tao

Awwww this is so sweet

Lmao the anger to marvel is hilarious (says Agatha all along actor)

Ocd + repeating thoughts (could relate)

Nick needs therapy too a little😔

Oh they're both journaling

I love the positive and normal rep of mental illness

Lmaoo Tori loves Nick 🤣🤣🤣 he has no idea (now that i think about it he's the only name she remembers)

I love the friendship and platonic love they emphasize

Aweeeee when they see each other is so 😭😭😭😭

Oh Isaac 😭 lmaoo messssyyyyyy

Ooh they darcy ! Shall be referring to them as such

I love the filming format

Yeah lmaooo messy taoooo

The huggggg!!

Love the mental health talks and everything

Christmas 👹 I LOVE CHRISTMAS

My babiessssssss back together again

I love the way that media depicts everyday life and can help people understand situations that may never encounter. Also the set design and lighting in this show are to top tier.

All hail queer works for having beautiful cinematography to display emotions and stuff. (Eg my beautiful man - eternal the movie especially, gameboys and sleep with me -ph short series)

Some suggestions (i should really do my queer works suggestions again im on the hunt for so much of them)

But anyways

Ep 5 lets go!!

Are we getting more Tori?

Lmao the bad tasting turkey

Hmm switch sponsorship goes crazy

Jeez

Is Oliver (former brother) now a cousin or something?

Lmao the gay question

Is that David????

Ugh

Ooop Nick cussing?

Ugh a front row seat to flirting in the group chat 🤣🤣

Sahar and imogen 😁😁😁😁

Ahhh tao and elleeeee

Oh tao and elle 😔

Omg the ignorance

Poor Tori 😭😭

Music is immaculate as always

Ohhhh whole family was there when they kissed (that's how he met them???)

Ohhhh okayyyy charlie and nic Nick hehehehe

The dawgggg

Lmao tao

😭😭😭😭 elle and tao are so 😭😭😭

Communication!!!!!!!

The dawgggg (again!)

Viral Queen elle

Aww Sahara 😔

Not rush (by troye sivan) In the bg show is queer all the way through 🙂‍↕️

Tai and elle the goofy couple that matches each other weird love it

Tao thinking about something else 😏

I love that she has another trans girl to talk to as she gets out

Jesus this guy -

Ahhhh the guy uhhh solitare ????

Tara's style is always amazing

Imogen and sahara !!! Vindication!!!!

Okay taoooooo elleeeee

I believe in love again after that kiss

I understand both Tori and Charlie with the argument they had. I just really feel bad for Tori.

I love the fact they talked about being trans and navigating sexual intimacy and things. It's so great. And that they have more than one platonic friend who's queer like them (elle has a trans girl friend, and Darcy talking to the other trans guy about exploring identity and gender affirming things to do and how it's supposed to be fun)

Ep 5 done!!

Ep 6 let's go!

Awww the rugby ladsss

Oh not cussing nickkkk ????

😔

Ooop okay plenty energy 🤣🤣

Trauma. Mhmm makes sense

This title card ain't looking too good

Elle's so talented

Ooh drummer boyfriend and the jock

Every time they kiss in school i have trauma

Lmao tao and Isaac so immature i love itt

Oh the mirror scene 😔

Lmaoo imogen diss

Nick please help the oblivious imogen

The cake is cute 🤗

Oh it's Michael he's so cute and awkward

I love the energy of all the core three being weird together

Aweeeee imogen and sahar 😞 but it's cute the conclusion they came to

Yeahhh oliviaaaa !! (soundtrack slaps)

I suspected the tara thing with pressure

Lmao he's a clingy drunk

I can't breathe - the tension -

I don't wanna be this person but ik their breath smell like hot garbage

Tori and Michael

Lmao Elle's dad

I don't know how i feel about this radio show

🤣🤣🤣 all of a sudden Nick gets it

Girl wtf are you talking and asking about ???

More thoughts about the whole thing at the bottom summary - i had to take a break cause 😤-

I took like 30 mins 😔

Lol nick getsss ittt

Oh no the body thing lmao mom is like no canoodling of any sense in my house

Oooh i want you that's craaaaazy

Doc said protection pleassee

Its a great message but my mind is like you WILL have confidence to bone your boyfriend and that in itself is beautiful 🙂‍↕️

This show gives me whiplash. Please give me a break. Sad. Sexy. Sad. Sexy. Extra sad. More sad.

I think I forget the ages the character represent and to get that whiplash into how messed up they use kids who just want to be themselves as talking points and not actually seeing them as people.

It brings up a really good point of how differences in queerness (or anything labeled as other) is no longer about individuals who exist but rather an idea to be imposed in them. But no more philosophy! Time for

Ep 7! Yay

Kit has the 'doe eyes in love' on lock beautiful performance

Nick ain't thinking bout nothing but that bodayyyy 🤣🤣🤣

Also Tara looks so at peace with dance

I love Tara and Nick's relationship 🤗

The journaling agenda

Omgggggg

Ooh Nick okayyyyy

Okay tao with the wisdom ew to the cucumber

Oh no now she's thinking about the politics

Let people liveeee pleasee

Nick said i been waiting on this !!!

Lmao David the panic Nick had

The dogs 🥰

Darcyyyyyy that's crazy

I live that they're displaying queer sex, normalizing it and not shying away from it being a normal and not fetishizing it (esp cause they're young and teens in shows usually are unfortunately overly sexualized or it's not shown to be intimate/delicate but rather more... Idk)

The other trans characters supporting Elle because they get it 😭

Nick has shalala playing in his head all the time looking at Charlie

I sense neurodivergence in Micheal (lowkey Tori as well but streets seem conflicted in the verdict for her ...)

Lmaoo the outrage in at school from Nick

Nick asks lesbian about gay sex perfect

I'm gonna cry Tara and Darcy, and all the coming out scene in this show (healing my heart one ep at a time 😭😭) one day it'll be me or I'll just pop out in rainbow with my queer af shows + books and no shame 🤷🏾‍♀️

Charlie and his teen angst

I can kind of understand his mom but honestly if someone wants to do something they will find a way to do it (+she's lucky he even tells her some people may just be sneaky about it)

Tao and elle are relationship goals 😭😭😭😭

Oh no Nick's pressure/anxiety

I love communication in this show 💕

Ooop not the sitting okkaayy charlieeee

Lmao to the mom

Nick said i been waiting for this !!

Oopp jessuese ! Hands handsssss

To mum: 🤷🏾‍♀️ he warned you at least you know it

Twas beautiful 🥹

Now the final episode

Lets gooooo!

Ep 8

Haha why are we like this

Nick said baby i don't careeee let's practice rn 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oop Nick said I'm looking it up

Oh Nick please talk to him about it

Lmao he dropped him off like here's your deflowered son back

Tori is laughing inside

Jeez i can't imagine coming back after that and then talking to your mum

I get where his mom's coming from

Flowerovloveeee!!!! Omg all my favorite artists are here

Ask me my music taste and it's just heartstopper soundtrack

Charlie and Nick are a mess

I love the lgbt squad in all their sections

Imogen omg is this a coming out scene ?? Comp het???? Another lesbian 😭😭😭 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Tara ain't feeling it

Nick is so embarrassed and them buying stuff i love it

The friendships are amazing in this show! I some think we see that enough displayed in teen/young adult shows

Awee the queer guide and his rugby boyfriend

The maturity in Charlie now 😭😭my baby

I love that Nick has his group

Tori is so happy

Ughhh the set design !!!!!

Lmao Michael is so cute

He's standing so awkwardly i love it

The siblings are so sweet (we need more of this in TV shows!!)

The song is so cute!

Lmao Nick dissing imogen

Nick needs to see he'll be okay without him

Nick please you're in public

The fair scene is so cute

Nick ain't thinking with his noggin at all for most the show🤣🤣🤣

They're gonna make me explode into a billion pieces of sadness and queer joy 😭😭

Ugh intimacy

End of ep 8???

What happened? It's just done 😟

Okay season 4 please love you Alice will be back with a dissertation or something. ✌🏾

[tableintheteacherslounge]

Abbott Elementary S03E07 thoughts

Melissa having a spare room baring in mind we’ve seen her house feels fake sorry - How will she have a room mate but noone look at her pictures and keep control of her kitchen. I get its gonna be for plot but i don’t buy it

I’m w ava that’s a woman who just found out she’s not pregnant - that’s a woman who’s been successfully slutting it up (how’s she gonna slut it up with a roommate)

Omg protective barb 🥺 (ALSO BARBS RIGHT BC MEL WOULDNT GIVE OUT HER ADDRESS WILLINGLY)

AS SOON AS SHE SAID NERD I THOUGHT JACOB

“I know its gods will but hes gotten awfully creative” 😭😭😭😭😭

I love it when Mr johnson lore gets unlocked

Manny and the beard whew 😮‍💨 I was literally wondering where he was so I’m glad they’re using him again

Janine ur SO SMART this is such a good idea and not like a janine unnecessarily fixing a problem like an actual good idea- good job babygirl

Not ava spilling the tea to the whole room

Ponytail melissa at home is so personal to me, I love that this continues from s2, this is just who she is, she throws her hair up when she’s at home. I like that she’s wearing the eagles hoodie we’ve seen before too. Love the hair, makeup & costume details on this show

“I only know how to cook for 12” 😭

Finally mel talking about her breakup! Damn maybe it really was “im not bringing this to school” this whole time

Also Gary being a dead ringer for her dad?? I’m not saying my headcanons are more correct than the show but I disagree with this statement. Gary is not schemmenti coded.

Omg the jacob melissa work momming work sonning ive been dreaming of

“And dont forget theres a 3 booked limit 😒” barb is PISSED and i LOVE IT

“Oh i know what a google doctor is 😤”

Barb really is the best character on tv im sorry noone can do it like sheryl lee ralph like they just cant Shes everything

Janine forgetting the key term (pottery wheel) in her analogy she is so me

“Jacob if u dont like my ziti just say so and i will heave myself out that window” 😭😭

“I went to find mr johnson but he was still crying” NO 😭💔 hes just a sensitive guy 😔

“Mrs howard i blew down the house” 🥺🤏🏻 I love the kids being so central in this ep, I’ve missed that recently, and the kindergarteners are soooo cute

“🐷 I am a pig 🐺 i am a wolf 😄 and im a librarian who thinks she can just change everything around here 👋” IJBOL no please give sheryl another emmy I beg

“This programme is more of a distraction than an improvement” that’s teaaa actually. Thats so often what councils etc do, distract with new flashy things rather than fix the real problems. Even though in this case it’s well meaning it does make u think how big a priority should the library actually be? But actually children reading is super important and what did they say last season? The librarian was an alexa in glasses? 🤣

“You okay? You look like raven having a vision” 😭 you don’t understand how often i say this

I have thoughts on Barbara’s intentions and my instinct is gregory needs to keep her name out his mouth. I do think it’s really important that Janine stood up to Barbara, just maybe gregory made barbara seem worse than she was

“It’s been a rough week I could use the pick me up” i just love mr johnson

My immediate reaction was this one of my favourite episodes of the season - lots of excellent Barb moments, the kids, more mr johnson, story arcs I enjoyed and felt completed.

Janine standing up to Barbara was a really big deal for her considering her hatred of conflict and worship of barbara as a mother figure. It made me really proud to see how far janine has come.

But the longer since watching the less I like it. And it’s two main things:

- the jacob melissa room mate situation feels like jumping the shark for plots sake and not something realistic for those characters. So as much as I enjoy them and their dynamic and their growth it just feels fake.

- I dont care about the librarian. The set up feels like she could stick around and I just don’t care for new characters, I like my main people. (But then the same apprehension was had w the district people and they’ve not seemed to be around much).

I do still really like this ep and it definitely ranks highly in the season, just idk, some eps I enjoy more over time but this has made me feel more confused as to what will happen next I guess.

[builtintripping]

huehuehue time to ask EVEN MORE QUESTIONS because im crying rn. cant they just make a folder (in a pc) with like timmys memories (well atleast most or some) or will fairy magic wont let that? about the video games (nicktoons unite, breakin da rules, shadow showdown, etc.) did they happen in the past or didnt? (well i mean nu probably does but what about the fop games?) do they do crimes or are they just silly goobers? if timothy meets jimbo nutronio again would he like him or not interestted? (follow up to the cindy thing) idk if ive asked this before but does timmy like trixie after the memory wipe? would crocker remember timmy with fairies? what does timbo think of thy gurl tootie? would he remember THE SONGS!? (like icky vicky, my shiny teeth and me, etc.) how much coffee does each member take? was the last question unexpected? sorry theres way more asks than what i entended to ask about. i got carried away 🥲

Memory backup? They already tried doing that, but an error message would always show up during the process. Timmy theorizes that fairy magic is interfering, but Jimmy's having none of that, insisted there's another way around, and proceeded to wrack his brain for more possible solutions. Timmy, already resolved to follow through to his fate anyway, had to force Jimmy to stop who was spiralling down to madness for every second that passes as he repeat his fruitless attempts.

Did the FOP Games happen before memory wipe? I'm gonna confess: idk jackshit about them. 😅 But do they actually determine Timmy's future though? Let's assume for now that any games released before Poof's era (when the series's quality declined) happend. 👌

Are the blorbos criminals or goobers? They do crimes in the eyes of the Syndicate, but otherwise they're just silly goobers. :)

Will Timmy like Jimmy again? Honey I'm a sucker for characters who lost memory of one another yet learned to love each other again the same way they used to, of course JimmyTimmy's real 😤

Does Timmy still like Trixie? I'm pretty sure he would still admire her whether CosWan's around or not, so yeah he does :,D

Does Crocker remember Timmy's fairies? GOOD QUESTION!! Crocker would still theorize that Timmy had Fairy Godparents, but he isn't as passionate about it as he used to since his memories of the fairies in particular had gotten fuzzier after the memory wipe. Though he still hates him for it 😅

What does Timmy think of Tootie? Let's assume Tootie matured by then and doesn't chase Timmy as much as she used to, giving him more space to see her in a new light, that she's more than just "a girl with cooties" and an actual person who has other interests, hobbies, and friends. Despite this, he still can't help but feel iffy around her and try to avoid any interaction as much as he can.

Does Timmy remember the songs? HMMMM let's say he remembers singing them, but he doesn't remember the lines that CosWan would sing their hearts out. Hence he doesn't memorize the whole music. 🥲

How much coffee do the blorbos take? Do not get me started on Danny. Jimmy's main caffeine intake is Purple Flurp, but would ocassionally drink coffee if he needed less of a boost. Timmy refuses to drink coffee with no sweetness in it, it always has to be latte or he'll spit his drink out. If you don't want him to set something on fire, do not let SpongeBob go near the coffee machine.

Was the last question a surprise? Yes it is, thank you for asking! :)