#IM GOING TO SMASH EVERY PLATE TO BITS

[theworldoftrash]

You ever get so mad you want to break your own nose?

[pandorxxx]

Search & Rescue(Chapter 2)

Lo’ak x Omatikayan fem reader (all aged up)

Warnings: Cursing, Angst, mentions of depression, fluff, oral, p in v, spitting, creampie, soft-dom lo’ak.

Synopsis: Lo’ak has a bit of a reputation that he’s been trying so hard to break out of. He just needs the right girl to come and rescue him. Looks like he found her tonight.

For the best reading experience: listen to Ozone by Chase Atlantic or Search and Rescue by Drake

“Yess lo’ak! Right there!” You whined, gripping the sheets as he sent you hard/firm strokes from behind. Clapping sounds so loud that you feared people could hear.

“Mhm, you feel me baby?” He moaned, watching the source of pleasure before smacking your ass. You nodded, throwing your head down on the cot to arch your back for him.

“Shit, just like that! Don’t fucking move!” He growled, wrapping your hair around his forearm. He sped up his pace, making sure to smash against your sweet spot with every deep stroke.

“Baby, y-you’re gonna make me fucking cum!” You screamed, muffled by the sheets beneath you. “Oh yeah? Go ahead, mama. Cum on this dick, I know you want to.” He chuckled, smacking your ass a few more times before gripping your hips, bringing you back to meet his thrusts. Your mouth fell agape, and your eyes rolled back in pleasure.

“Mmm fuck, im cumming!!!” You let out a high pitched scream, letting your eyes fall shut…waking up from your wet dream. You sat up lazily, wincing from your pounding headache.

“Goodmorning, my little screamer.” Lo’ak said sarcastically, sharpening his knife in the corner. You grimaced, eyes narrowed from the sun pouring in.

“Huh?” You asked in a confused tone, going to shift your legs to the side of the cot. “How was your….dream?” He asked, still razor focused on knife. That’s when you realized that he heard everything, and a wave of embarrassment washed over you.

“Shit, you heard?” You asked hesitatingly, running your hands through your hair in frustration. “I think everyone heard. They probably think I’m in here giving you the best dick of your life.” He joked, standing to his feet. You let out a stressful sigh, hiding your face in your dainty hands.

“Umm I- I should go.” You stuttered, standing up swiftly before grabbing your cloths off of the floor. You went to walk past him and he picked you up, placing you on the table behind him.

“Not until you eat something. I brought you breakfast. I kinda figured you would miss it, and I was right.” He smiled, grabbing a price of fruit off of the plate, holding it up to your mouth. You hesitated at first, but finally opened your mouth for him to place the fruit in. You started to chew slowly, staring into his golden eyes.

“I umm- went by your hut today. Grabbed some cloths for you. Your comb and hair accessories too. I didn’t know what you wanted, so I grabbed some options.” He spoke sweetly, pointing to your items on the drawer behind you. You were shocked, never in a million years did you think he was even capable of picking out an outfit for any woman.

“You know I’m leaving, right? You didn’t have to do this.” You chuckled, watching him bring another piece of fruit up to your mouth.

“About that. I was hoping you’d stay with me again, tonight? We can even go to the party together.” He confessed, watching you lick his fingertips clean after you ate the piece of fruit. You looked up at him in confusion, chewing slowly.

“You… w-want me to stay here again? Why?” You asked, eyeing him up and down. He rolled his eyes, stepping closer to stand between your legs. So close that his loincloth rubbed against your bare cunt, shielded by his huge T-shirt.

“If it’s not already painfully obvious. I like you, dumbass.” He spoke lowly, placing his hands on either sides of your thighs. Your breathing hitched, and your core began to heat up in arousal. His eyes were glued on yours, looking at you with nothing but interest.

“I’m not fucking you, lo’ak.” You said, voice shaky as you watched his lips come closer to yours, hoping that he would close the gap in between you two. “I’m not fucking you, y/n.” He smirked, glancing down at your lips before meeting your eye contact again.

“Why not?” You asked, completely tranced by his closeness. You glanced at his large arms, engulfing your thighs. Then to his broad chest, trailing all the way down to his chiseled abs before meeting his gaze again.

“Because you’re not ready.” He replied. “Ready for what?” You spat. He dropped his head, chuckling before looking back up at you.

“I’ve gotta go. Go get yourself cleaned up. I’ll be back later on tonight. Then we can go to the party.” He smiled, backing up from between your legs, walking over to his bow, placing it across his chest.

“You’re just gonna leave me here? What do you suppose I do?” You shouted, watching him walk towards the hut door.

“Just stay your pretty ass here! I’ll be back later on!” He shouted, walking out of the door before shutting it behind him.

“Ugghhh! LO’AK!” You shouted in frustration before the room fell silent. You looked around, noticing the bottle cans you missed from last night, and the drawer with cloths falling out. Probably from when lo’ak picked out cloths for himself this morning.

“He’s such a fucking pig.” You whispered to yourself, rolling your eyes before hoping off of the table. You took this time to deep clean his hut. Grabbing buckets of water and towels to wipe dirty areas. Hand washing his dirty cloths, fixing the sheets on his cot. You picked up all of the garbage on the ground, and organized all of his accessories.

After you were done, you walked to the nearby stream, taking your morning shower. Ridding yourself of all the makeup and body glitter from the night before. You spent most of the day in lo’aks hut, desperately waiting for him to come back. In your free time, you did your hair in 2 Dutch braids, decorating them with the hair accessories lo’ak brought for you earlier.

It was starting to get dark, and you were expecting lo’ak any second. You sat on the floor in-front of his mirror, doing your make up and applying the same body glitter from last night.

“Hey, pretty girl.” Lo’ak spoke in an exhaustion as he limped to the neatly made cot. You snapped your head at him, scanning his bruised body, wombs patched up and cured with yalnabark.

“Lo’ak, what the hell?” You shouted in concern, standing swiftly before darting over to him. He sat on the edge of the cot with his head hung low. You kneeled before him, taking his bow from around his chest, removing his necklace and other accessories.“You wanna tell me what the fuck happened?” You looked up at him, his hair hanging in front of his face.

“Thanator.” He replied. “You’re lying.” You spoke sternly, pushing the strands of hair behind his ear. He sighed loudly, meeting your gaze.

“I got into a fight.” He replied, clenching and unclenching his jaw in anger. You hit his chest hard, however, it didn’t even phase him.

“Why?! Why do you continue to get yourself into trouble?!!!” You shouted, eyebrows furrowed as you awaited an answer.

“Doesn’t matter.” He shook his head. “Tell me, or I leave.” You spat, pointing in the direction of the door. He looked into your eyes, looking for any sign of you joking. Finding none, he finally came clean. “Some guys were talking about you, inappropriately. And it pissed me off.” He confessed.

“So you fought all of them???” You asked with a slight whiny tone, hoping he didn’t fight multiple men for you.

“You’re damn right! And I’d do it again. No one talks about you the way they did! NO ONE!” He growled, angered to the point of no return.

“Ok, ok. Just calm down, please.” You stood, wrapping your small arms around his head, bringing him to your chest. He instantly wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in between his legs. And without a second to spare, he finally let it all out, weeping loudly in your arms.“I know. It’s ok, lo’ak. Let it out.” You comforted him, rubbing his back as he clung to you tightly.

“I-It hurts so bad, y/n. I-I don’t know what’s going on with me.” He whimpered, tears falling down to your chest. “I’m just so fucking tired. I can’t do this shit anymore.” His voice became lifeless, shaking his head in defeat against your chest.

“No, don’t talk like that. you- we are going to get through this. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you, lo’ak. Always and forever, no matter what. Do you hear me?” You spoke softly, caressing his head, blinking back tears as you’d never seen him like this.

It hurt your heart to know that behind the facade, he was struggling. Struggling with his identity, struggling with his relationship with women, struggling with alcohol, struggling to find reasons to wake up everyday. And then there you were, with him every step of the way. In the past 24 hours, you’d seen more

of him than anyone ever has. Seen him at his absolute lowest. Yet and still, you didn’t run away like every other girl. Instead, you listened to him with no judgment, held him close to your heart.

“Mhm.” He whimpered, sniffling against your chest. You bent down again, wiping his face dry. “I-I’m sorry if I’m scaring you. Just please…don’t leave me.” He whispered weakly, eyes red from his emotional breakdown.

“I wasn’t planning on it. I’m here to stay.” You smiled, voice shaky as you held back tears. And that was the moment he knew that you were the one. He had a feeling before, but the way you were willing to stick by his side, flaws and all solidified it for him. His emotions got the best of him, and he swiftly picked you up off of the ground, placing you on the bed gently before he hovered over your small frame.

“I guess we’re not going to the party tonight?” You spoke breathily, heart beating at the speed of light as you waited for his next move.

“Nope.” His voice was low and deep. He shook his head with a smirk. You smirked back.“I’m not fucking you, lo’ak.” You joked, this time hoping that he would give in.

“You don’t have to. Just lay here and look pretty for me.” He said, licking his lips before bending down, french kissing your neck. You gasped, immediately feeling that tingling sensation in your core. He kissed your neck sloppily, moving down to your chest.

“You better not play me.” You moaned, throwing your head back. He grabbed both of your hands, pinning them above your head.

“I won’t, I swear on my life.” He spoke breathily between kisses. He slid down to his knees in front of you before sliding your loincloth off of your legs. Then he went for your thigh-band embroidered with gorgeous crystals. He flashed his fangs at you before attaching them to the band, sliding it off of you like he had been dying to do ever since he laid eyes on you.

“You trust me?” He asked, grabbing the band out of his mouth, staring at you as if you were his last meal. “Mhm!” You hummed, nodding your head frantically.

“Hold out your wrists.” He commanded, and you obliged immediately. He proceeded to wrap your thigh-band around your wrists firmly, just enough to securing you. “Too tight?” He asked, pulling you closer to him by your thighs. You shook your head no, desperately waiting for his next move.

He bent down in between your legs, pulling them over his shoulders. He looked into your eyes hungrily as he started off with kitty licking your clit, just to see how you’d react. You completely lost it, back bowing to the cot as you let out a high pitched moan. And that was all he need to know. “Mmm you’re a virgin, huh?” He spoke lowly, before tongue kissing your cunt.

“H-How can you tell?” You moaned, focusing on the soft kisses he planted on your throbbing clit.“You’re so sensitive, like you’ve never been touched before.” He hummed into your cunt, sending jolts of electricity up your spine. He backed up, spitting on your clit before going back to work on you.

“Mmm yes!” You moaned, screwing your face in pleasure. “Look at me.” He growled, flicking your clit with his tongue. You looked down, locking eyes with him as he devoured you whole. That scene alone was driving you crazy, and he knew it.

“Lo’ak I-I think!-“ you whimpered, tears blurring your vision. Your legs started to shake around his head, and you felt your stomach muscles tighten.

“You’re gonna cum.” He mumbled against your clit. “Go ahead, cum in my fucking mouth. I wanna taste you.” He growled before sucking on your clit like a pacifier.

“I-I think I’m cumming, lo’ak!” You screamed before releasing your juices onto his tongue, and he guzzled them greedily.

“Fuuck!” You screamed sharply, as you reached the very peek of pleasure. Your breathing was heavy as you finally calmed down. Lo’ak sucked your sensitive clit one last time before detaching completely. Standing up in between your trembling legs.

“You feeling ok?” He asked, walking to his drawer to grab a towel. You watched him intently as he walked back to you, wiping your core and inner thighs gently. He was learning how to be a gentleman for you, and it made you hot. You wanted nothing more than for him to fuck you senseless. “What are you doing?” You asked in a confused tone. He smirked, glaring at you will wiping you clean.

“I’m cleaning you.” He replied. “No I mean- I thought we were going to-“ you started before he cut you off. “I wanna do things differently with you. I wasn’t going to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.” He confessed, throwing the towel to the side. You sat up, shifting to your knees in-front of him, wrists still tied together.

“And the fact that you’re willing to wait for me shows me all I need to see. So I’m begging you…please. Please fuck me lo’ak. I need you.” You rambled, looking up into his eyes desperately. His ears perked up, mouth agape with shock.

He grabbed your wrists, holding them close to his heart before kissing your knuckles. “The things you do to me…” he spoke lowly, chuckling against your dainty hands. “Let’s just wait, y/n. I want your first time to be special.” He explained, going to caress your head. You backed away before he could.

“All I need is you. That’s special enough.” You spoke sensual, turning around to bend over in-front of him. You let your head find comfort on the cot as you spread your legs farther apart, exposing your dripping cunt to him.

“Give it to me, lo’ak. I’m so fucking needy for you. I can’t help it anymore.” He watched the whole scene unfold in-front of him with intent. His tail wagged quickly behind him, looking down at your glory, practically sitting on a platter all for him.

“Shit…” was all he could say. Running his hands down his face as you backed up into him. Your bare cunt rubbing against his growing bulge. This provided the right amount of friction for you, causing you to let out a series of soft moans.

“All you wanna do is fuck me. What about “hello” or “how are you”.” He joked, smacking your ass hard, causing you to wince in pain.

“Yeah yeah. Just give it to me..Pleaaasseee?!” Your whines muffled by the cot. He rolled his eyes, before smirking slightly.

“And here I thought you were a good girl. But deep down, when it’s all said and done. You’re really just a fucking slut.” He explained, untying his loincloth from around his hip, letting it drop to the ground beneath him. His cock sprung up, hitting your bare cunt in the process, causing you to moan at the friction. Beads of precum dripping to your ass, gliding down to your aching hole. It was such a beautiful site for him.

“It’s no coming back from this, mama. Once I give you this dick, you’ll be fucking hooked, I promise you that.” He growled, jerking his cock in the direction of your cunt. His words had you hooked already. He knew exactly what to say to have you wrapped around his finger.

“Mmm, lo’ak! Put it in me!” You cried desperately, pushing back onto him again. He chuckled at your desperation before lining up with your cunt, sinking it into you slowly, inch by inch.

“Fuuuck! I’ll move in a second. Just want you to get used to me first.” He moaned, watching you screw your face in absolute pleasure, whimpering and squirming around under him.

“No, lo’ak I’m ready! Fuck me! fuck me! fuck me!” You screamed, throwing your ass back on him, immediately finding the relief you were looking for. He was completely dumbfounded, watching you use him for your own pleasure.

“Mhmm! “Im not fucking you, lo’ak”…. Does that ring a bell, baby?” He spoke sensually, smacking your ass. He deemed it a good time to start meeting you halfway, thrusting into you firmly. Your eyes rolled back, smiling deliriously as your moans rippled with every hard stroke.

“Yesss! Keep fucking me just like that. I-it’s so *thrust* fucking *thrust* gooood!!” You whined, tears threatening to fall as you gnawed on the sheets deliriously. He watched you fall apart right before his eyes. And it sent him over the edge. He moaned loudly with you, throwing his head back as he drilled deeply into you.

“Shit baby! Let me see your wrists.” He moaned, watching you shift around slightly to expose your wrists to him. He untied you quickly, throwing the restraints across the room.

“Fuuuck!” You whined, reaching around to grab your cheeks, spreading them wide for him. He took this as an opportunity to stick his tongue out, letting his saliva glide down in between your folds. You turned your head, meeting his lustful gaze.

“Lo’ak, I fucking love youuuu!” You whined, moans staggered from his hard thrusts. He bit his lip, staring at your screwed face. “I love you more!” He moaned, jaw clenched as he watched your eyes roll back.

“N-Never leave me. Ok?” He grunted, grabbing your arm, and you clung to his arm as well. You two stared into each others eyes, as he tried to blink back tears, his emotions getting the best of him again. He didn’t know what you were doing to him, but he loved it. He had never felt this way about any other girl.

“I-I’m not going anywhere, baby! I promise!” You cried, feeling that familiar sensation from earlier. The eye contact had your stomach doing backflips, and you just couldn’t quite explain the way you felt for him. You didn’t know what he had done to you, but you couldn’t get enough. This moment that you two shared was indescribable. He couldn’t help but let his tears fall, biting his lip as he watched you share the same exact reaction. Tears blurring your vision as you let out a series of moans, maintaining the most dangerous eye contact. The type of eye contact that could make you fall In love, and you two were falling deep.

“I love you, y/n. I love you so fucking much!” He cried, voice shaky as he sped up the pace slighty. “I-I love you too!” You moaned before your legs started shaking beneath you.

“Cum with me, y/n. I know you’re just as close as me. I can feel it!” He grunted, smacking your ass once more. He felt his stomach tighten, signaling that he was going to cum any second.

“In me, please? I need it.” You whimpered, feeling his swollen tip slam against your sweet spot. His eyes widened at your request.

“You sure, my love?” He spoke breathily, focusing on his in coming orgasm. You nodded frantically, shutting your eyes tightly as you started to shake violently underneath him.

“OH MY- FUCK LO’AK! IM CUMMING!!!” You screamed, every stroke revealing his cream coated cock. “Shit, Me too! Me too!” He whimpered, before his jaw dropped. His thrusts became sloppy, releasing his seed inside of you, filling you up just how you asked him to.

“Mmm yesss, so good lo’ak!” You hummed, feeling his seed leak into your empty womb. You two came down from your highs, breathing hard as your sweaty bodies collapsed. You shifted around to face him. You both stared at each other, with new found love lingering in the air.

“Come here.” He chuckled lazily, gripping your neck before kissing you passionately. And you two kept this same energy all night. Fucking each other for hours and hours until you both finally crashed.

- - -

“LO’AK WHAT THE FUCK?” Echoing screams muffled in your mind, waking you up from your sleep. Your eyes squinted from the morning sun as you grimaced.

“LO’AK! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? WHO IS THIS BITCH IN YOUR BED?” A clearly angry voice shouted, waking you up completely. You saw a girl standing over you two. She went to hit him, immediately waking him up.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET OUT!” He shouted, halting her attempts to hit him as he held her wrists together.

“W-What’s going on?” You spoke groggily, watching the entire scene unfold in-front of you. “Why are you in his FUCKING BED!” The girl hissed at you. Your eyes widened, wrapping the sheets around your naked body.

“I-I didn’t know you two were together.” You whispered, completely heartbroken. Your eye contact shifted between him and the girl he was holding onto for dear life, trying to stop her from hitting him.

“WE’RE NOT TOGETHER Y/N, I SWEAR ON MY LIFE! SHES JUST FUCKING CRAZY!” He growled, shifting off of the bed to push her out of the hut. It was a slight struggle before he pushed her out completely, shutting the door in her face. He faced the door for some time, knowing exactly what your reaction would be when he turned around.

“Y/n…I know what this looks like-“ he started before you cut him off. “No.” you spoke, voice shaky from your incoming breakdown. He turned around, darting over to you before kneeling next to the cot.

“Y/n, I swear! Me and that girl are not together! We had a one night stand a couple of weeks ago and that was it! I swear baby, please!” He rambled, tears streaming down his face.

“I-I’ve gotta go.” You whimpered, wiping tears from your puffy eyes. You pushed passed him, putting your cloths on swiftly before grabbing the rest of your things.

“Y/n, please! You said you’d never leave me, just let me explain. I-I can’t lose you. I CANT!” He cried, kneeling down in front of you. You stood before him, so confused on how you felt. A part of you knew it wasn’t his fault, but you just couldn’t take it. She wouldn’t be the last girl you had to deal with, and you knew that. You didn’t know if you were strong enough to deal with that. So you chose not to…

“I-I just need time to think. I can’t do this right now, lo’ak.” You spoke, barely above a whisper. “Please…” he whimpered, reaching out for your hand before you backed up from his embrace. Completely shattering his heart.

“I-…goodbye lo’ak.” You whispered before turning around, darting out of the hut door, not even looking back as you walked to your own hut.

And there he was. Just as empty, if not more, As the day you found him. And just like that, the cycle starts over…

Taglist: @number1gal @loak-bae @tiredmamaissy @neytirishottie @viajaeger @terrorthewolf @lethargicluv @reyzzsostellar @m0nst3rfk3r @agelsully @jakescumdump @wekiamo @st-cass @cleardonutangelwagon @tsireqas @satanlovedays @afro-hispwriter @thecutieyahia @urfavgirlmakenna @fanboyluvr @iameatingmyhair @secretflowerobservation @violet-19999 @neteyamsprincess @xreadersstuff @sweetllamaparadise @lia-nath @sullymenrhot @dotheyevenknowmars @xdbluesky @slay-nt @domino-x3-blog @ladylovegood-69 @itssomeonereading @sweetirilly @skxawngmia @downbadforloak @loaks-tanhi @loaksbabyy

[captains-simp]

Can I get a request where Yelena's dating R and has been for a while because things are going great but Natasha (being the protective big sister she is) realllllyyyy doesn't like R and R keeps making things worse because Nat intimidates her and all bdaksnakwk😭 and she finally accepts R when she gets caught up in a mission somehow and almost dies for Yelena🥺

Nat simps: Nat doesn't like the relationship because she's jealous

Me: n-no

Nat simps: she actually loves R😃

Me: guys no-

Nat simps: but-

Me: N O

(You guys are getting a big Natasha fic after this, calm your tits🙄)

3.6k words

Warnings: graphic injury description, implied torture and murder

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"My sister does not hate you." Yelena chuckled as she opened the car door and stepped out. You stayed put for a second, staring up at the Avenger's tower as you chewed your lower lip.

"She definitely does." You mumbled as you stepped out of the car yourself. Yelena held her hand out for you to take, marginally helping your nerves when she gave it a reassuring squeeze. She noticed your silence and tried again.

"Okay maybe she's not your biggest fan right now but she'll warm up to you. I did." The blonde winked. You bit back a smile and rolled your eyes. "The others sure as hell love you." You hummed in response, you couldn't argue with that. You got on with the other heroes like a house on fire. "And I love you." Yelena said earnestly as you stopped outside the main door for your girlfriend to plant a soft, quick, kiss on your lips.

"I love you too." You said with a smile.

"There she is." She grinned back as she stroked your cheek with her index finger. "Now come on, I'm starving."

"You ate that bag of M&Ms in the car." You laughed as Yelena led you through the building. The blonde scoffed.

"They only half fill them, y/n." She complained. "So it was half a bag." It was hard to argue with that logic. 

You made your way through to the top floor of the building, all while holding onto the expensive wine bottle you bought. Your hands were sweating so much so you held onto the bottle with both hands, not trusting your grip. The last thing you needed was to smash it on any of Tony's expensive carpets. You were met with a round of laughter when the elevator doors opened, presenting the Avengers all sat around the living area. Their eyes turned to you and Yelena with wide smiles and they all shouted hellos across the room. Wanda gave you a warm hug as Yelena high fived Bucky and you felt your nerves soften. 

"She's just finishing up." Wanda said knowingly. You wondered for a brief second if she had taken a peek into your mind but when you looked at the redhead she was smiling reassuringly at you and you realized it must have been obvious that you were anxious to see her again. Unlike Yelena, everyone else could tell you were Natasha's least favourite person. "For what it's worth she seems to be in a pretty good mood tonight." Wanda assured.

"Whose in a pretty good mood tonight?" Came the voice you had been dreading to hear. Natasha strolled into the living room with a content smile on her face but halted in her tracks once she saw you. You locked eyes for longer than you were comfortable with but you were determined not to look away. Sometimes you thought that if you asserted yourself more then maybe Natasha would at least respect you. Today wasn't the day for that because you looked away quicker than you would have hoped to. In your defence, it was really hard to maintain eye contact with the Black Widow. 

"What's she doing here?" Natasha spat. Oh. You winced as you rubbed the back of your neck, clearly the Russian wasn't aware that you were attending the dinner too. 

"I told you she was coming." Yelena said as she strolled towards her sister and gave her a bear hug. Natasha continued to glare at you from over her sister's shoulder. 

"I thought you were meant to be on a mission."

"Luckily it was over by lunch." You smiled weakly. "Meant there was still brownie left in the cafeteria." You laughed awkwardly but Natasha didn't respond. 

"If you want, I could give you the recipe for my brownies." Wanda said in an attempt to ease the overwhelming tension in the room. The Sokovian was always the best at that and you were sure it was entirely down to her calm demeanour.

"Really?" You asked hopefully as you all made your way to the dinner table. You avoided Natasha's eyes the whole time but consequently ended up taking a seat opposite her. You froze when you sat down, already under her heated gaze once again. You gulped thickly and turned to Yelena while you tried to ignore the pair of emerald eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

The rest of the dinner wasn't altogether awkward but it wasn't the most comfortable you'd ever been. Natasha didn't acknowledge you, though it was rare that she did, and you both engaged in separate conversations with the rest of the team. You had never known if there was a particular reason the redhead didn't like you. You guessed it was down to her being protective of her little sister, something you could understand given all they had been through. But you would never hurt your girlfriend, in fact you would do anything to avoid that. So it bothered you that there was nothing you could do to sway Natasha's opinion of you, because you had literally tried everything. You had been dating her sister for six months. Surely if she was going to accept you it would have happened already. 

When dinner was finished Natasha excused herself as Yelena picked up some plates and took them to the kitchen. You were hooked on a story Sam was telling when they left, both your elbows on the table as your face rested in your hands, eagerly waiting for Sam to reveal how he was able to escape a whole squadron of planes with a malfunctioning suit. As a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, you didn’t get to experience half the things the Avengers did. Sure, you had had some crazy missions and your fair share of close calls, but their stories always won. 

Once Sam dramatically finished his story with some over the top sound effects, you noticed Yelena had missed a few plates and still wasn’t back. With the dishes in your hands, you made your way to the kitchen, soon hearing the strong accent of your girlfriend. “You're being unfair.” She scolded with a hushed aggression. 

“I’m trying to protect you, Lena.” Natasha’s voice fired back. Your ears pricked up at the verb and you were unsure of whether or not to leave the plates on a near table and go or stay to hear about the apparent threat your girlfriend was facing. “She’s going to get herself killed.”

“Oh and you’ve never done something reckless?” Reckless. That was a word you had seen in your S.H.I.E.L.D assessment reports enough times to get a vague idea of who the pair were talking about. Natasha being on the opposing side proved the point more. “When will you drop this?”

“You couldn’t have just dated a normal civilian? Or at least an agent that manages to not get themselves in harm's way on the way to the paper copier.” Well that was hardly accurate. S.H.I.E.L.D didn’t use paper copiers. 

“You know maybe if you spent less time being a bitch to her and more time actually getting to know her you would understand why I love her.” Yelena said in a more disappointed tone, most of the frustration drained away from exhaustion. You wondered how long they had been talking about this. Or if they had before. Yelena always acted like there wasn’t any tension between you and her sister. Maybe she thought if she ignored it things would sort themselves out. 

There was a heavy silence over the room so with a pang of guilt, you stepped out from behind the wall with the plates still in your hands, fauxing mild surprise when you saw them both, like you didn’t even know they were still there. If they saw through your act, they didn’t say anything. “Thanks, just put them there.” The blonde smiled and pointed at the counter near her. Natasha stayed silent as she watched you from the other side of the room. It always felt like she was studying you for any sign of a weakness when she looked at you, waiting to spot something she could use to strike. 

“You need a hand?” You asked as you spied the excessive bubbles in the sink that coaxed your girlfriend’s forearms. “Before you break something.” You joked and watched as Yelena’s cheeks tinted pink as she remembered the shattered glass in the bin at home. 

“She’s capable.” Natasha interrupted with stone cold glare. 

“That’s okay, detka (babe).” Yelena mumbled and kissed your cheek. “I’m just finishing up.” She said before looking briefly at her sister. “Then we’re going.”

*

To no surprise of your own, Natasha didn’t get any friendly towards you after what you could only assume wasn’t the first discussion the sister’s had had about you. In fact it got considerably worse; not straight away though, that came a few weeks after when the pair came rushing into the cafeteria. Yelena marched in the room with her eyes set on you as the redhead followed by her side, exclaiming something wildly with her hands. 

“This is insane. Yelena!” Unfortunately for Natasha, her sister’s stubbornness fiercely rivaled her own. 

“Hey, detka.” Yelena smiled as she sat down on the seat in front of you. You gave a small wave as you finished chewing your sandwich, eyeing the pair cautiously. Natasha continued to stand with her arms crossed, mumbling under her breath in Russian. “You busy now?” 

“Not really.” You shrugged and brushed the crumbs off your hands.

“Yelena, no.”

“Zamolchi (shut up)!” The blonde fired back. “That’s great,I could really use a hand on a mission.”

“I will go with you.” Natasha insisted but Yelena shooed her away distractedly. “They know who you are, it won’t work.” She hissed.

“That’s why disguises exist!” Natasha yelled, gaining the attention of every other S.H.I.E.L.D agent in the room. 

“It won’t work.” Your girlfriend said firmly, her choice was already made and set in stone. 

“Okay.” You shrugged and immediately fell under Natasha’s most heated glare. 

“Don’t you dare.” She gritted. “There are thousands of agents in this base alone and you’re picking the single most reckless one who will get you killed.” The redhead continued but Yelena, unlike you, wasn’t fazed. 

“Great, go pack your stuff.” Yelena cheered.

“Right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t fucking move.” Your body betrayed you, keeping you glued to your seat in fear of what method, of the hundreds the widow knew, she would choose to kill you if you stood up. 

“I don’t trust anyone else to do this.” Yelena said earnestly to her sister. Natasha considered her sister carefully but still looked unconvinced when her younger sister gave a frustrated huff and took you by the hand to drag you to your feet and past her sister who surprisingly didn’t follow after you both. 

As your girlfriend led you down the halls she explained the basis of the mission, telling you how you were to set up a last minute buy with a high profile weapons smuggler. Annoyingly, that was how he worked, telling buyers the location and time of a deal at the last minute. Beneficially, he was a smug prick who only believed in carrying out deals on his own. While he would be armed, there would be no one else with him, making yours and Yelena’s job easier. Yelena was the sniper, shooting to kill. S.H.I.E.L.D had tried apprehending the guy alive but it always ended in casualties and they were finally done with going easy. 

You considered it all when you were changing into the outfit Yelena had given you, planning what exactly you could say to the dealer to get him to the specific part of the warehouse that Yelena could shoot at. You were buttoning up your white blouse when the door swung open and Natasha stepped through. “You sure you can handle this?” She asked right off the bat. 

“I’ve been through my training just like everyone else here, Natasha. I know you don’t think I’m capable but I’ve been on my fair share of missions and I know protocol and-”

“Just keep her safe.” The Russian said. You blinked and opened your mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words.

“I don’t care if Baros comes out of there in a body bag or in a limo.” You blinked again and continued with your shirt as you decided to just listen to Natasha. “But if one hair on Yelena’s head is harmed I will make you live to regret it for the remainder of your long and very painful days.” She said darkly and you could only nod dumbly. Natasha studied you for a long moment before turning around to head out of the room far less dramatically as she had entered. 

“She trusts me for a reason.” You couldn’t help but call out as the redhead opened the door. She glanced at you for a second and left as she called over her shoulder to you. 

“I don’t.”

*

“Do you want to get take out tonight? I was thinking that new Chinese place around the corner.” Yelena spoke clearly but she might as well have been thinking aloud because you couldn’t respond. She knew that of course. She knew that you speaking would ruin your cover if Baros had cameras set up around you. “So that’s a yes on the Chinese?” She continued. Okay she was definitely doing it because she knew you couldn’t respond. “Detka there’s no need for you to insist on paying. I owe you one right now.” You bit back a smile until the warehouse doors opened and Baros stepped through, watching you eagerly. 

“So nice of you to join me.” You deadpanned. You couldn’t help it. The guy literally chose the time and he was still half an hour late.

“Yes, my apologies.” Baros said in a very unapologetic tone. “Something came up.” He muttered as he placed a large box on the table and unlocked it with an 8 digit code although you were sure there was a lot more to it than that. Not that you cared about his weapons right now. “Now I hear I have something you’re interested in.” 

With that, the sale began. At first you thought you were in luck. Baros made a habit of strolling around the room as he explained various weapons that you pretended to be interested in, but he never went to the spot Yelena could shoot. It became irritating very quickly. You walked around too in an attempt to lead him to wear you needed him but he always backed off at the last second. You heard Yelena groan into the earpiece a few times too. 

“Is there anything here that’s of interest to you? Or are you more concerned with listening to whoever’s on the other end of that earpiece?” Your eyes snapped to Baros as he watched you curiously. “Where is she?” He asked coldly. Your earpiece wasn’t meant to be visible and the thought that Baros had found a way to get around S.H.I.E.L.D’s technology concerned you greatly. 

“I don’t know who you’re talking about, I’m here alone.” You swallowed thickly. Baros gave a throaty laugh in response, some primal hunting impulse starting up. 

“I’ve killed every S.H.I.E.L.D agent that has come after me, you and your friend will be no different. Now where is she?”

You wanted to charge at Baros. To knock him to the ground and wrap your hands tightly around his throat and squeeze long and tight enough to make him regret ever threatening your girlfriend. Except you couldn’t move. It wasn’t a fear induced freeze up like you had gotten from Natasha’s glares a few times. There was a much larger and more dangerous obstacle that stopped you moving. Something toxic. Baros gave another manic laugh as he watched that realisation dawn on you. But really, what was panicking you most was that Yelena had been silent for a long time. 

“You see, Agent l/n, while you were trying your hardest to get me to play your game, I was beating you at my own. I’ve grown immune to the toxin that’s been circulating the room since your arrival.” You trembled as you dropped to your knees and fell onto your side, only able to watch and listen. “And what your friend sees is a mere projection of us continuing business, audio included of course, so she won’t be coming to get you anytime soon.” You exhaled as heavily as you could in relief at the knowledge that Yelena was safe.

“Now where were we?” Baros asked as he knelt down besides you and lifted your head up, placing the flat of a blade against your cheek. “Oh yes, you were just about to tell me about the other one.”

“Go...to...hell.” You grimace, every word spoken feeling like one of the hardest things you had ever done. 

“I’m sure you’ll feel as though you’re there very shortly.” He muttered as the knife very slowly started to dig into your skin.

*

You had no idea how long you were with Baros, how long since he had first started slicing your skin, how long your bones had been broken or even how long since you had first started to cough up blood, most of it staying in your mouth because of your weak diaphragm. You had exceeded your limit long ago, only using your energy to make the occasional snarky comment that made the next attack harsher. You couldn’t seem to stop yourself. It made you feel like you had some control, as did the fact that you never said a word about Yelena.

A gargled scream was ripped from you when Baros pressed the burning hot knife against your latest stab wound, cauterising it to stop you bleeding out and keep you alive for as long as he needed you. A sickening smile crept onto his lips as he watched your eyes fill with tears once again and leant back once he was done. Much to your long awaited relief, that smile was wiped from his face when a spray of red erupted in front of you, shortly followed by Baros dropping to the ground next to you, dead on the spot he had accidentally stood in. 

You didn’t trust your relief, you didn’t trust yourself not to be hallucinated after the endless hours of torture, even when a heavily armed S.H.I.E.L.D team flooded into the room. A few gathered around you, asking questions you couldn’t quite understand as bright white lights filled your vision. Then you were being lifted into the air, not aware of the fabric of the stretcher beneath you until the back of your hand dropped onto it. You managed a small trace of a smile before you passed out. 

*

There was an arm draped across your stomach when you woke up. It was the first thing you felt, a fact that you were extremely grateful for. You blinked frantically a few times before you turned to look at your girlfriend sleeping by your side on the hospital bed. You smiled at the sight of her peaceful form and tucked some stray hairs behind her ear softly, careful not to wake her. You were glad you cherished that moment of peace and relief, because it wasn’t long before you had more company.

You took your hand away from Yelena’s face when Natasha walked in, settling to keep it by your side, although there was nothing you could do about the arm that was squished between yours and your girlfriend’s body. “I tried my best-” you started but Natasha shook her head. 

“You...you did great, y/n.” You smiled sheepishly, sure there were some drugs in your system. “No one could have done any better.” She said as her eyes flickered to the cuts on your face. “So thank you.”

“It was no trouble at all.” You shrugged. Natasha rolled her eyes but smiled faintly, something you never thought you would see directed at you. “I’d never let anything happen to her.” You said honestly. The redhead nodded as she looked at her sister.

“I know that now. I was just scared, I can’t loose her again and you have to admit you’re not the most reliable person on the planet.” You blushed and looked away. “But I trust you now and I’m sorry I doubted you.” She apologised sincerely.

“No harm, no foul.” You joked again, truly not knowing how you were meant to act around the Russian now that you were finally in her good books.

“Don’t make me regret this.” Natasha warned with a smirk. You chuckled lightly and watched as she made to leave. “You should get some rest.” She advised and you nodded but frowned when she was nearly out the door.

“How’d she know?” You asked, making Natasha turn back to you with a quirk of her brow. “That something wasn’t right.” The redhead smiled and shook her head.

“You hadn’t made a smart ass comment in ten minutes.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[peachiimilquetea]

something angsty with tenya leaving fem reader for the event? ty! prompt: “you can’t leave me. i don’t know how to survive without you.”

“𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞. 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.” + tenya iida

a/n: bro… i don’t really like angst without the potential for a somewhat happy ending so i hope you’re ok with the fact that it’s not completely sad. i did pull on the heartstrings quite a bit tho, i hope you enjoy! check out the event here

contains: angst (obviously), iida being heavily influenced by his family, tensei to the rescue lowkey, crying, insecurities, mentions of alcohol, ambiguous ending, miscommunication

length: 2.0k

at first things had started off small.

iida worked long hours as the work of his brother’s hero agency fell on his shoulders. he tried his best to make time for you, but it always felt like your schedules could never line up just right.

you tried to work something out, quick calls on break times and cute messages around the house to remind you of one another, but most efforts fell flat.

then things started to get worse.

long and empty nights were spent building up resentment towards the man you had married. he was always doing something, something that took precedence over the vows you made when you walked down the isle no more than three years ago.

you knew his family didn’t like you that much, feeling that a marriage for love was a waste of such a powerful commitment. a commitment that could built them an empire, and boost the rank of their hero agency, solidifying a legacy for them.

tenya defied them for you, boldly declaring that he would marry whoever he wanted and that you were in it for the long haul. you were the girl of his dreams, he said, and anything that got in the way of his happiness was not something he would subscribe to. that only made them hate you more.

so when his texts of encouragement grew shorter and more sparse, and he began to have more special responsibilities bestowed upon him by none other than his father, you knew it was on purpose.

unfortunately, it was an effective strategy to chip away at a young and unseasoned marriage.

“tenya can you please just check your schedule? i really want to spend more time with you.”

he sighed and rubbed his temples as he sat in his office. why were you bothering him with something so insignificant? you knew how important this transition of power was for the iida family, for the legacy of ingenium, but you still persisted.

he could feel the anger beginning to build until he looked in your eyes and saw the sadness brimming in them. his heart squeezed in his chest as he watched you, his wife, plead with him to spend time together. when had things come to this?

“i’ll try my best, but i cant promise anything.”

at this point, that was better than anything you could’ve hoped for.

with a kiss to his forehead you left him alone to get the heaps of paperwork he had to do, spirits lifted at the prospect of spending time with him again. just like the way it used to be.

you checked the time on the microwave for the 9th time. fifty-seven minutes had passed and your husband was officially late.

you should have seen it coming really, empty promises were becoming more and more common amongst the two of you. he would promise to try harder and you would promise to cut him more slack, the constant push and pull never being enough for either party.

getting up from the barstool at your kitchen island you made your way to the wine cooler to get a drink. not even bothering to pick up a glass you slumped on the couch, kicking off your shoes and splaying yourself out, just wanting the cushions to swallow you whole and dull the aching in your heart.

he wasn’t coming.

he was never coming.

you laid passed out on the couch when iida finally came home 2 hours later. he was only stopping by for a quick break, then going back out on patrol and he completely forgot about the things he said, smiling through tired eyes as he thought, this time i’ll make it up to her.

at the very least he could clean you up and tuck you in. he could brace himself for the impending fight later, but he was concerned about you. you never drank, not unless there was something wrong.

iida easily hoisted you up over his shoulder, discarding the various wine bottles and taking you to your shared room, although he wasn't sure if it was still considered shared anymore.

he laid you on the bed softly, changing you into one of his old shirts. his fingers ghosted over your cheek as he watched you sleep, the reality of where he was sitting heavy on his heart.

he loved you and yet there was nothing he could do to help at this moment. he had to leave for night patrol. he had to leave you.

his gentle touches roused you from your sleep and your eyes felt heavy as you tried to blink them open.

“you came?” you breathed, voice sounding foreign even to yourself.

iida gave you a small smile, “im sorry.”

your demeanor did a 180 at his apology. he was sorry. he was always sorry. but sorry couldn’t fix this. not when it had been so broken.

you winced and sat up, “sorry for what? sorry that you broke your promise for the thousandth time or sorry that you’ve been such a shit husband for the past few months?!”

“______-”

“no tenya. you do this every single time! every time i want to spend time with you theres always something more important! what could be more important than your wife?!”

“______ you know my father-”

you laughed bitterly at the mention of his dad. he always had to be such a good little iida child, always on daddy’s beck and call. it made you sick.

“your father doesn’t even want us to be together! cant you see that he’s doing this on purpose! youre a grown man! not a child permanently tied to his mommy and daddy!” you spat

“hes giving more responsibility for the sake of the agency! for the ingenium legacy! why are you always so selfish when it comes to these things?”

“selfish? selfish?” you asked, incredulous. you couldn’t believe your ears.

“yes selfish. do you know how much i sacrificed to be with you? how much i already have on my plate on top of trying my best to make time for you?”

you stared in astonishment.

sacrifice?

what had he sacrificed for this relationship? he got to do what he wanted, come and go as he pleased with virtually no regard for how you felt or what you did. what sacrifice was there in that way of living?

“fuck you, tenya.”

tenya took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face. he chose his words carefully before finally saying, “i cant do this. im leaving.”

you could hear a pin drop in the room. you felt your blood pound in your ears as you stood up quickly, dizzy from the alcohol but still trying to process the words you had just heard.

leaving?

“youre leaving?”

“yes, i have to go. im not doing this with you, not now.”

your heart felt like it had been smashed by a sledgehammer, as you tried to regulate your breathing. leaving. he was leaving.

“w-wait,” you feebly attempted to cling onto him as he gathered a few of his things.

“tenya you cant leave me.”

“_____ i do not want to do this right now,” he sighed, easily shaking you off and moving to collect more things. his words were buzzing around on the inside of your skull. he was leaving.

leaving without so much of a second thought. he had been planning this. still unsteady on your feet you hobbled after him as quickly as possible, desperation taking over every fiber of your body. you didn't want to lose him, you just wanted your husband back, you happiness back.

“y-you cant do that! you cant leave me! i dont know how to survive without you, tenya, please-”

“_____, just go to bed. you’re drunk.”

you trailed him around the house,“no, you don’t get to decide when this is over. i'm the one whos been hurting for months you cannot just leave me by myself.”

iida spared you one last glance before grabbing his bag, “goodbye, _____”

crushed, you sank to your knees, leaning on the couch for support. you felt like you were dying., hell, you probably were dying. you had never had so much to drink in your life, and you were desperate to make the pounding pain in your chest stop.

you cried yourself to sleep that night, waking up to the sunlight coming through the window with a splitting headache. you felt like your skull was trying to crack itself open from the inside but you shakily got to your feet, remembering bits and pieces from your fight with iida.

you could tell he didn't come home last night; everything was exactly the way you had left it last night. the house alarm was still on, and his shoes were gone.

he actually left.

anger bubbled in your chest as you thought about what had actually happened. you would not let him get the last laugh, or be the last one left, the one waiting on him patiently to pick up the pieces after trying to keep it together. you would leave too, as much as it hurt, and show him just how selfish you could be.

in a flash, you haphazardly packed a bag with essentials and had texted your friends that you needed a place to stay for a few days. you didn’t get into specifics- your heart ached too much to relive the events of the previous night- but you told them you had reached your limit and you needed to take some time to cool off.

alternatively, iida did not sleep that night. after finishing patrols, he stayed at his brother’s apartment out of pure convenience, not feeling prepared to face you after everything that had transpired between the two of you.

the dark-haired man laid staring at the ceiling of tensei’s guest bedroom, wracking his brain and trying to pinpoint how things had gone south so fast. he wanted to fix things, but really didn’t know how. he couldn’t even tell you what was broken, let alone how to begin to fix them.

his brother had tried to give him advice after listening to the entire story, but there was only so much he could do. he knew that you were right, their father was keeping him from you on purpose, slowly making tenya think that he was in the right in an attempt to break you up, but he couldn't be the one to tell him.

tenya had to come to that conclusion himself. he needed to be the one to set boundaries and save your relationship, but from the looks of it, soon any attempts would be futile.

“_____? darling?” iida called as he came into your home. immediately noticing your missing shoes, he moved to the bedroom in a flash, checking to see if you had just moved them or something.

the room was a mess, drawers left open and clothing strewn across the bed and floor. the bathroom had been cleared of almost all your essentials, and a note was left on the dresser. gingerly, iida picked it up and read it, offering up a silent prayer that it didn't say what he thought it did.

i don't know when you'll see this, or if you ever will. if you're reading it, that means you came back home but you will not find me there.

im tired, tenya.

im tired of always being the one to extend the olive branch or bend over backwards for you.

i refuse to be in that position any longer. i love you… i love you so much it hurts sometimes because i know this isn't the way things were supposed to be. but you left, and so i decided to leave too.

if a way to fix things exists, i want us to find it, but right now i need some time to reevaluate us and what that means. i hope you understand, i know you will.

if you want to reach out, im open to talking about this further, but for right now i need to think.

goodbye.

--------

[theonlygamergost]

Comfort cookies - Fd!au

This fanfiction is based on the Family Dynamic au made by @antarctic-bay if you would like to know more, go check them out!!!

Also please bear in mind that the things written in this might not be canon!

This fic was corrected by the lovely @im-default

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tubbo hangs out with the Pandel so much that he became the secret fifth brother, and Phil will not hesitate to treat him as such

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warning: Swearing, mention of bullying, a bit of angst, fluff, Phil is a dad.

Enjoy~

The giggles of the two joyful boys coming from the staircase could be heard from the kitchen, Phil was humming songs of his teenage years while mixing some ingredients in a bowl, reading from his laptop (placed a safe amount away from any type of liquid or powder) the recipe of what he was making.

Phil loved cooking, he had always enjoyed preparing hand-made meals for his brothers, not only because it was cheaper, but because he genuinely liked it and was pretty good at it… at some meals, that is.

He never got into baking cakes, cookies, or any type of sweets, that’s why he was using a recipe and following it by the book, “Hm… pour small quantities in the tray, leaving spaces between each cookie…” the jingling of the keys and the door opening announced that the two friends had arrived through the front door, “Hello Phil!” “Hello, Philza Minecraft!” Phil smiled at Tubbo calling him his Minecraft nickname, “Hello boys, how was practise today?” they both left their backpacks by the couch, Tubbo was untying his shoes while Tommy ran straight for the bathroom, “Pretty good! Tommy surprised everyone today, he flexed on the class hard” Tommy peaked from the bathroom with a towel in his hands, “Pffff- No no I didn’t do anything fancy- you- you are just complimenting me Tubbo” he sarcastically scuffed it off, “What do you mean?!” Tubbo crossed the living room, passing in front of the kitchen and into the bathroom, turning the sink on, “You literally beat the ten-lap BEST TIME by ten seconds! How is that NOT a flex!?” Tommy laughed, “Oh really? I’m proud of you Tommy” he blushed lightly, “T-thank you Phil”.

After they both washed their hands and sat down at the kitchen counter where Phil was baking, Tubbo asked: “Can I stay the night here? Tommy and I have a project to do and it would be easier than meeting up somewhere else” Phil carefully took a spoon of the brown-ish mixture and placed it on the tray,” As long as Eret knows about it, you are free to stay whenever” Tubbo smiled, half-yelling a “Thank you Philza Minecraft!!!”

Tommy turned the pc covered in a plastic film towards him, “What are you baking big P?” Tubbo leaned over Tommy’s shoulder to read the monitor too, “ I found this cookie recipe on a blog I follow and I thought they would be a good alternative to the cookies we usually buy” Tubbo’s eyes started shining, “OH! OH! CAN WE TRY THEM ONCE THEY ARE DONE?!”, smiling at the excitement of the boy, he nodded. “yes…” he quietly whispered.

“Wait- On a blog you follow? OH MY GOD- Do you follow cooking blogs?!” Phil blinked a couple of times, “Yes?” Tommy burst out laughing, Tubbo and Phil were left in confusion, “Wait, what’s so funny about it?” “WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT’S SO FUNNY ABOUT IT TUBBO?!?! COOKING BLOGS ARE FOR GIRLS!!!” Phil shook his head, “That is sexist and incorrect Tommy, plus how did you think I come up with new ideas every time I make dinner!? I follow many of them” Tommy kept laughing, finding the thing hilarious, Tubbo tried to explain multiple times how it wasn’t “a girly thing” and how he shouldn’t go around saying thing like that, but Tommy had this thing with girls and all, no quote could ever surpass “Just killed a woman, feeling good!” After all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Tommy calmed down, they poured themselves a mug of milk and moved to the couch, playing Super Smash Bros while waiting for the cookies to finish baking, Phil had warned them that it would take forty minutes or so, but they were both determined to be the first ones to try Phil’s experiment.

Between the cheers and salty screams, Phil was texting with friends, most of them were either married or already had a child, but he was happy with his situation, living with his brothers and happily single, so jealousy was the last thing he felt towards them.

At one point, Tubbo’s phone started buzzing, pausing the game he looked at the screen and his face immediately got serious, “I’m going to the bathroom” Tommy was too preoccupied being salty about a combo not working how he thought it would to notice his best friends mood dropping.

Phil noticed the brown-haired boy closing the bathroom with a gloomy face, but didn’t ask anything for the sake of privacy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had passed fifteen minutes from when Tubbo left the living room, Tommy was starting to get bored by mindlessly scrolling through the Instagram “for you” page and Phil was getting worried since no sounds could be heard from behind the door.

Tommy got up and yelled while walking towards the kitchen counter to pour himself another cup of milk, “TUBBO! HOW LONG WILL YOU STAY IN THERE?? I’M BORED” Phil smiled at the words of his younger brother, but no reply came from the other boy.

So Tommy, as the inpatient gremlin he is, walked up to the bathroom door, but as he was about to knock on it, quiet sobs came from the other side.

Tommy instantly turned towards the older blonde boy that stood up as soon as he heard,” Tubbo?” Tommy asked while Phil gently knocked on the door, more quiet sobs replied.

“Tubbo are you ok?” as Phil’s voice reached the brunette’s ears, he finally spoke, “Phil?”

The older brother opened the door to reveal Tubbo sitting on the small carpet in front of the sink, his arms wrapped around his legs, holding them close to his chest: their red puffy eyes were everything Phil needed to see.

Without waiting for permission to come in, Phil walked up to the boy and picked him up, Tubbo instantly wrapped his arms and legs around him as he got carried to the couch. Tommy took their phone and followed.

Phil grabbed a cushion and the fluffy comfort blanket that Techno always used when reading, wrapping it around Tubbo, he asked him what was going on, “N-nothing… It’s… really Phil It’s nothing…” Tubbo looked away, Tommy sat down next to him and hugged him, surprising both Tubbo and Phil. “If someone made you cry it means that is not “nothing” Tubbo, please… I want to help you” And to that, Tubbo started crying again, Tommy did his best to tightly embrace him meanwhile Phil rubbed soothing circles on their back.

Tubbo then started explaining how a guy in his class found out about his bee plushie and made fun of them for it, to the point where if he doesn’t do his homework for him, he will say it to the entire class, but at the same time he was really mean towards him and it was pretty nerve-wracking.

“Tomorrow I’ll accompany you two to school and I’ll talk to the principal, we’ll show him the chats between you two if he doesn’t believe us. For now, ignore him mate, ok?” Tubbo dried his tears on his sleeve and nodded as Phil got up to take the cookies out of the oven, “How dare he…” Tommy was spaced out but his tense features and clenched fists were signs that Tubbo knew oh too well, “Tommy please don’t get any wrong idea-” But the blonde’s mind was already set, “Don’t worry Tubbo, I’ll make him pay…” but before the brunette could argue, Phil arrived with a plate full of steaming cookies and placed it on the coffee table, “Why don’t we watch a movie? Techno and Will won’t be home for a while” Tommy instantly proposed watching a post-apocalyptic movie.

They ended up watching “Mean Girls” while eating what are now nicknamed “comfort cookies”.

[corruptedconfessions]

Kiri.. the lad... the shark man... the rock... reacting to a fem reader who has WAY more kinks than he thought. Like, they're just friends with benefits and she reveals she has both a daddy and feeding kink. OBLIVIOUSLY this means she likes him, right?! Clearly, this is her trusting him enough to let him take her away from everyone else to be with just him. Kiri knows exactly what to do :) and your kink just makes it easier! (You dont have to do those kinks if they're a squick, I just love them)

Ngl I headcanon that both Yandere!Kirishima and Yandere!Bakugo would have feeding kinks. Kirishima gets off on being a big strong manly provider. Bakugo gets off on seeing you eat food that he cooks, and seeing you wrap your lips around his creation. The weirdo.

Anywayyy before I get carried away

 Tag list:

@shorkbrian​ come get ur man

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been several months since you had started sleeping with the hero Red Riot, and at first everything had seemed like a dream. Not only was he eager and open to exploring any kinks you brought to the table, and often got even more into them than you. The sex had been great, and the random drop ins with take out clutched in his arms had been cute, but it had quickly gotten old. 

You had enjoyed the state of your current relationship, the two of you were compatible as hell in bed, but it didn’t go past that. There were no ties between the two of you, no feelings beyond the occasional wet dreams or dirty thoughts you had about him at work. 

At first when he would drop in occasionally without notice, shove his way into your apartment, ignoring your protests or complaints you had just rolled your eyes, taken whatever food or gift he shoved in your arms and accepted it. But then it kept happening. Nearly everyday he showed up at your home even when you told him not to, ignoring you when you told him to leave, getting angry when you told him you had other plans with other people. You had shrugged off the warning signs and started not answering the door at all and no longer texted him for hookups. Any crying emojis or pleas for at least a booty pic were left on read, ignored. 

And then he had started showing up at your work, still clad in his hero uniform, bringing as much attention to himself as possible as he held an obnoxiously big bouquet of roses or a teddy bear, or whatever cliché little sappy present he chose for that day. He would hover by the only exit, his face lighting up whenever he saw you, a bright grin crossing his face as he practically bounded over to you, shoving his latest gift in your arms and lavishing you in so many compliments and sweet words that you had no choice but to force a smile and let him lead you out to his car, his hand a little too tight around your shoulders. It always ended with you cornered in his apartment, being offered drinks, food, movies, sex-endless amounts of things that you couldn’t even begin to turn down until it was too late for the hero to feel “comfortable” letting you leave. It always led to you staying the night and having to deal with hours of cuddling and endless kisses. 

Every morning started with him trying to smoothly imply that he could take care of you, something you always ignored as you shrugged off his hugs and kisses, practically darting out of his apartment, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. 

He clearly wasn’t taking any hints, maybe it was time to break it off cleanly before things got any worse. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, baby! It’s about time you called me over again! Ignoring me wasn’t very manly of you, but that’s okay, i’ll always forgive you~” 

Before you could open your mouth the redhead was swooping down, kissing you hard and roughly nipping your lower lip before practically shoving you out of his way, forcing his way into your apartment as he immediately headed towards your kitchen table. 

“I bought sushi from that place downtown you like! It was a bit of a detour, but anything for my baby~!”

You frowned, shutting the door behind you before following him into the kitchen, watching as he immediately started spreading the food out across the table-way more than the two of you could ever eat. Your stomach rolled at the thought, memories of Kirishima stuffing food in your mouth and then rubbing your swollen stomach as you whined and cried, too sick to fight him and he cuddled and doted on you, often fingering or eating you out while rubbing your stomach, ignoring you as you whined and cried.

You were ashamed of how much you liked him stuffing you full, even when he didn’t seem to understand and always took it too far, like he always did. 

“Kiri-”

“Look! I even stopped by that sweet shop you like and got your favorite~ Maybe we can eat it while watching a movie later!” 

“I don’t really have time tonight, im going-”

“Look! I got us a nice wine, Fatgum said something about it having really nice acidity and legs and blah blah, I don’t really understand it all! I just know if it tastes good, I drink!”

He laughed heartily as he eagerly pushed you into your seat, taking up the seat across from you as he started dishing out the sushi between the two of you rambling the whole way. Every time he took a pause to take a breath or shove some food in his mouth you tried to speak, just to be immediately talked over by the redhead as he suddenly remembered some urgent stupid thing he had to tell you. 

“Look, Kirishima-”

“Don’t be like that, baby! What have I said about that, call me Eijiro! Or Daddy!” 

A sly grin covered his face as he purred out the last word, making your stomach roll as you resisted the urge to go across the table and smack him. 

“Whatever, what I was trying to say was-”

Just as you thought you had finally caught his attention his eyes drifted down to your untouched plate, an annoyed look flickering across his face, disappearing so quickly you wondered if you imagined it. Not that you had much time to question him or think about it since in a split second his face had changed back into that perverted grin as he snatched one of the pieces off your place with his chopsticks, holding it up as his eyes darkened with lust. 

“Come on, baby...Open up for your daddy and maybe you’ll get to eat something else as a reward~” 

His voice was a low rumble, nearly a growl, something that made you freeze up in your seat in fear for a moment. No. You weren’t letting this go on another second!

“Kirishima! Enough!”

Freezing from where he had been leaning all the way across the table, pushing the piece of sushi to your lips, the redhead stared at you with wide confused eyes. A weaker soul would have hesitated at the innocent hurt eyes that were aimed at you, but you didn’t waver staring back at him, face twisted into an annoyed scowl.

“B-baby? What’s wrong? Did they mess up the sushi, I'll go back and get you some more if you’d-”

You growled in frustration, tangling your hands in your hair when he ignored you yet again, immediately making up his own excuse and assuming your feelings, never taking a second to just let you talk. 

“I can’t do this anymore! I thought you would take a hint when I stopped inviting you over, or when I stopped sleeping with you, but you just don’t get it!!”

Frozen in his seat, wide confused eyes stared up at you as his eyebrows knitted together in concern, a scarred hand reaching out for you, flinching back when you immediately leaned away from his touch with another frustrated growl. 

“It’s over, Kirishima! I don’t want to sleep with you anymore!! And I'm sick of you coming around here all the time and acting like we’re something we’re not! I don’t want to date you! I don’t want anything to do with you!!”

The innocent confused look on his face just infuriated you further, all the frustration and anger from all these months finally bubbling over as you screamed at him. Your eyes burned as you desperately pushed back the frustrated tears that threatened to spill over as he slowly stood up, reaching for you again, frowning when you stepped back to avoid his touch. 

“W-what do you mean? Have I done something? What are you talking about? Wh-what, baby-”

He flinched back as you immediately glared sharply at him, running a frustrated hand through your hair as you resisted the urge to stomp your foot in frustration. This is exactly why you didn’t do relationships, you hated this part, hated those hurt eyes staring at you, hated the attachment that always ended poorly...

“Stop calling me that, I'm not your baby! We just fucked, Kirishima! It doesn’t mean anything! You’re the one that started showing up at my house, at my work. ‘Have I done something?’ are you kidding me?!”

The redhead stood back as you yelled at him, watching you with hurt splashed across his expression, one hand clutching his other arms bicep as he flinched away from your harsh words. 

“I-I just wanted to spend time with you...”

You fell silent watching him with a soft frown, your anger melting away as his voice softened, sounding near on the edge of tears. 

“But I don’t want to spend time with you.”

The words seemed to cut like a knife, sharp and harsh in the air, the hero standing across from you physically flinching back as if in pain as they were spoken.

“Look...I think it’s time for you to go. I can pay you back for the sushi...-”

You turned your back to him, stepping towards the kitchen to grab your purse and lead the heart broken hero to the door when something hit the back of your head, your body crumpling to the floor with the impact. 

Everything was spinning, yet the only thing you could focus on was the throbbing pain in your skull. Vaguely you could feel wetness on your face, but your vision was too dark to see what it was. Everything felt so far away...

Right as you blacked out, falling limp against the kitchen tile, the hero finally came to his senses. Horror filled him as he looked down at your limp body, his fist still clutching the neck of the wine bottle he had smashed over your head. 

“Oh my god...”

Dropping it, letting the glass shatter along with the rest of the bottle that was floating in the wine spilled on the floor, he immediately reached out, gathering you up in his arms princess style as he lifted you off of the floor.  

“It’s okay, It’s okay...Shh, shh shh, baby. It’s okay, I'm gonna take care of this...”

He mumbled frantically to your unconscious form as he stepped away from the mess he had made, his hands shaking as he stared down at your unresponsive face. What did he do? What should he do now?!

What else was he supposed to do? You had tried to leave him! Tried to make him leave! You were his reason to live, his sunrise, his sunset, every waking moment had been about you! He...he needed you. He couldn’t let you get away!

Clearly...Clearly if his feelings were this strong you had to feel the same, right?! You were just...were just...scared! Scared you weren’t enough for him! Anyone would be scared to meet their soulmate, right?! It would all be okay once he...once he explained to you that he loved you!

He understood now, all of this, your entire relationship was just you trying to tell him that you were ready! That you wanted him to take you and take care of you, but he had been stupid and hadn’t noticed what you were saying! You had just gotten anxious, afraid that he wouldn’t still love you if you relied on him so much!

You didn’t need to worry, silly! He’ll take good care of you, just like a daddy should after all! He made some mistakes but the two of you had all the time in the world to work past it! He would make it up to you, he was sure. All you needed was time and this silly little misunderstanding would be in the past and the two of you could move on!...Right?

He clutched your limp body closer to his chest as he carefully opened the front door, stepping out of your apartment and rushing down to his car. Luckily none of your neighbors were out to spot him, not that anyone would ever question such a high ranking hero like Red Riot! Still, he didn’t want anyone but himself to look at his baby...

No one would ever look at you ever again.

[ihaveissuesbutthatsokay]

EREMIN URBAN FANTASY (I THINK???) AU!!!

WARNING : strong language, mention of blood, of a missing person, grief and mention of depression

The forest. That's what everyone called it. But It wasn't really a forest. 

Not a normal one, anyway.

There was something inside. Something sinister. Everyone could feel it the moment they entered. You could feel it the moment you entered, the air suddenly getting colder, shivers forming up your skin, and feeling a burning hole behind your head where you swore you could feel something, someone, watching your every step, your every movement, your every breath.

You were known as the boy who seeked freedom. 

 People tried to venture into the forest. Dreaming of exploration, dreaming to see what awaited on the other side of the forest. That's why the town folks would prepare expeditions to go outside. 

 After all, being trapped in a small town with nothing but a wide forest to keep you company, that's not freedom. It was almost as if the forest wanted to keep you tight, too afraid to let go, too afraid to watch you wither away. But you wanted to go away. You hated this small town, this confined space. 

No one came out alive in the forest. 

That's why the town stopped entering the forest altogether. It was too dangerous. Too reckless. But you were the boy who seeked freedom. You wouldn't give up. 

Why do you never give up, goddamnit!

You were reckless, naive, young. You thought the world bended at your own rules. You thought you and your friends, together, would be untouchable. 

I was wrong. 

That's right. You were wrong. 

And that's why you will always hate yourself for dragging your friends into this mess. That's why you wished you weren't the boy who seeked freedom after all. 

----

Armin couldn't sleep. Not that it was something unusual. He could barely sleep these past few years, with school work piling up, finals right around the corner, and generally just life being a complete shithole of a mess. 

He had three unfinished assignments due tomorrow. And it was already 3 am. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't focus. He could feel his eyelids closing up by themselves, his hand loosening up on his pen, his head about to drop on his desk---

He sighed in defeat, and stood up from his chair more violently than it was necessary. 

Coffee. He needed coffee. 

He made a face,just thinking about drinking it.  He hated the bitterness that crap had to offer, the sensation of his tongue being burned while he tried to chug it into one go, as he wanted to be done with it. 

He hated it, but he needed it. 

The caffeine kept him awake. 

Mikasa would always chide him about this. At how unhealthy of a coping mechanism it was, to rely on a substance to keep him awake. 

He still remembers how two years ago,  exactly 4 months after the incident, how she would constantly tell him to stop drinking that burned bean water, probably very worried at the lack of sleep Armin clearly was not getting. 

“You don't even like it.” She would frown. 

 Armin would laugh at the name Mikasa used to describe the coffee, avoiding the last statement.  “Since when did you start calling it like that?” 

Mikasa would frown again, knowing what he was doing. She didn't push him though. instead, she would just shake her head. 

“Sleep.” She would say very seriously, while giving him a sideway glance. “You need sleep.” 

Armin would look at her dead in the eyes, at the dark circles surrounding them, at the way she kept her body, the way her skin didn't have the same glow it used to have, her face hollower and emptier than it usually looked. 

“So do you.” He would softly whisper in return. She would just shrug, and the conversation would always hit a dead end there. “Besides,” he would add,  after a moment of silence, “I do like coffee. Now.” 

“Oh.” She would say. Not convinced. 

“Yeah.” He would answer. Trying to make the lie sound convincing. To whom, he didn't know. Mikasa or himself? Perhaps both. 

“Okay.” She would respond. “That's good.” She would grip her red scarf thighter, a gesture Armin noticed she would always do when she was nervous, sad or upset,  and from that,   Armin knew that she didn't believe him at all. But neither of them  commented on it. It was a comforting lie. 

Now as he was standing alone in his small kitchen, still sleep deprived, not listening to Mikasa’s advice, with  a cup of boiling hot coffee in his hand, moonlight reflecting on his windows, a single tear slipped down his eye.  It trailed all down his cheek, slowly, until it plopped into the drink he was holding with shaky hands. 

He missed him. A lot. God, he missed him so much. 

 He missed his smile, his eyes, his laugh, his everything. The way he would scream in excitement, the way he would always run at the high, high hill, always fist pumping into the air when he thought he won, only to get disappointed when he realized Mikasa was just letting him win on purpose.He missed the way he would get excited when his mom would bake him a new cake, the way he would always bring Armin a piece  afterwards, eager to see his reactions while eating it. 

“So?” He would ask, more close to a demand than a question, his tone full of youth excitement. “Do you like it?” 

“Yeah!” He said, surprising himself. Not that Eren's mom was a bad cook, not at all. But the cake flavor was coffee, and he never saw the appeal to this grown ups drink. Strangely, however, he really enjoyed this one. Thinking back at it, maybe he was just forcing himself to like it, cause he wanted to see the boy smile widen. Maybe he just wanted to love everything Eren offered him. Maybe he was just a delusional kid with a crush. Who knows. It was too late to dwell on it now.  

“Your mom is an awesome cook.” Armin commented, licking some frosting off his hands. 

The boy gloated in pride. “She said she will help me learn how to bake if I behave.” 

“I thought you weren't allowed to bake anymore,” Armin said, still chewing on the cake. “Last time we baked at your house, it was a bit of a disaster.” It wasn't as big of a disaster as they made it out to be. But they were childrens, and everything seemed a bigger deal than it was. 

He huffed in response. “That wasn't my fault! It was the oven's fault…” he murmured. Armin laughed. “I dont think your mom agrees with that.” 

The other boy shoved him playfully. “How was I supposed to know I can't just  bake coffee beans?” 

Armin sighed. “I told you it wasn't a good idea. You never listen.” 

“Whatever.” He said, plopping his legs on Armin’s lap. 

“Hey!” Armin yelped, the boy's dirty feets almost getting into Armins plate. “I'm still eating here.” 

Eren laughed. After a bit, Armin joined in. 

They laughed, and laughed, and laughed. 

Armin's laugh never quite sounded the same after he was gone. 

Neither did Mikasa’s for that matter. Probably the others too, but he lost contact with them, so he couldn't say for sure. They still all went to the same school, sure, but it was almost as if they were complete strangers, everyone collectively ignoring each other, in a desperate attempt to forget the incident. The only person he still talked to was Mikasa. And she, too, sometimes seemed so far away, like a mirage ready to dissolve right under his fingertips. 

Armin was about to take a sip from his coffee. More like chugging it down in one go, but he froze right as the cup touched his lips. 

His hands started to tremble, from fear or cold, he couldn't distinguish. Despite the heat of the beverage in his hand, he suddenly felt really cold. His arms shivered, his hands turning white as he clenched to his cup as if it could give him a sense of support. By gripping it too hard, some coffee splashed onto his hands, and he let out a hiss of pain. He put the coffee on the table, careful  not to spill anymore. 

 He started feeling feverish, his head becoming a dizzying mess. He put a hand on the counter, for support. He felt like an invisible force was pushing his lungs, pushing until he couldn't breath, until he was coughing, and coughing, he needed air, he desperately needed air, but it was as if whatever was making him feel likethis, hated air, hated it with a burning passion, and it wanted to make Armin hate air as much as it did. 

Armin felt like fainting. He probably was about to faint. He didn't know how it happened, but suddenly he was kneeling on the ground, 

This is it. He thought miserably. I am going to die, today, alone, without even knowing if he is still alive, leaving Eren behind, leaving Mikasa behind, leaving everyone behind, because im  a failure, and, and, and---

And then it stopped. His lungs could breathe again. He gasped, desperately trying to inhale as much air as possible, the burning in chest slowly fading away, even if  his head still felt like someone was smashing a rock onto it. 

But he could finally breathe again, and he could feel his pulse. He wasn't dead. He was alive. That's what mattered. He took another shaky breath, and used the chairs and the counter as support to stand up again. His legs were still shaking though, so instead of standing up, he opted to sit on the chair. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Those were the only thoughts going through his head, as he tried to sip his coffee again. That sensation, that feeling. There was no mistake. It was just like the incident two years ago, the same burning sensation, the same desperation to just give up, to do anything, anything, just so the pain could stop, the envy of being able to breathe---

“Ymir.” 

The cup shattered on the ground, a sharp sound echoing through the empty hallways, coffee spilling everywhere. Armin didn't even notice. He was frozen in place, hand still raised, eyes still looking in front of him. 

That voice. He couldn't make sense of anything. Except : That voice. 

That voice. I know that voice. I would know that voice everywhere. 

He turned around so quickly his chair went flying to the ground, glass splintering his bare feet from where the glass shattered. His eyes widened, tears spilling out of his ocean blue eyes like fountains. 

“Eren?” He whispered. He took a step forward, hand reaching out, trying to touch him, hug him, kiss him, just feel him under his touch but---

His hands went right through him, as if...as if he wasn't real. A look of hurt and confusion shadowed Armin's face. “Ymir.” The man in front of him said again. He sounded monotone, no emotions, no feelings, no nothing. His face didn't seem like an open book anymore, his eyes not gleaming with millions' adventure. 

 “You have to find Ymir.” 

“Eren.” That's all Armin could muster to utter, his voice shaking, his lips trembling. Was this a sick joke of his brain? The sleep deprivation finally kicking in? Making him almost pass out, and now hallucinate his missing-but-much-more-likely-his-long-lost-dead-best-friend?

“Listen to me, you have to listen to me, you need to find Ymir, or else, or else, or else.” He kept repeating the same sentence, as if he was a broken recorder. He closed his eyes, opened them again, closed them again. Armin took a step backwards. His mind was starting to creep him out. 

“Eren, is that really you, please tell me I'm not hallucinating you.” He needed to ask, even if it was probably all fake, all his mind–

“Or else.” He closed his eyes again, muttered some stuff.

“Or else?” Armin whispered. “Eren, talk to me, please.” 

“Ymir. Find. Ymir.” 

With that, Eren started to fade again.

“Wait, no!” Armin didn't want him to leave, not right after he finally got to see him again. He didn't care this might all be his head. He didn't care this might all have to do with what happened three years ago, he didn't care, he just wanted his best friend back, he just wanted to be able to laugh and mess around, and talk about the future as if they both had a clue, he just wanted Eren back. 

In his desperate attempt to reach him, Armin slipped on the spilled coffee; he could feel blood oozing from his feets, now from his hands, a stinging pain forming all around his skin. He didn't care, didn't notice. He struggled to get up again, and when he slipped again, he decided to crawl, not caring about the glass shatters on the floor, not caring about the pain, the stiffness of the floor, the red blood mixing with the brown coffee, he didn't care, he just needed to reach him, try again to touch him, maybe he imagined him fading under his touch, maybe it was a trick of the light, maybe he truly did come back, maybe, maybe, just maybe---

“Dont.” He whispered, more like a mix between a sob and a beg. “Don't go.” 

“Armin–?” He sounded surprised, shocked, relieved, happy, nothing like the creepy expression and monotone voice he had before when he was muttering all those things, the same name over and over again, what was it again---he couldn't remember in the moment, the only thing in his mind was that he recognized him, he saw him and he knew who he was, and he said his name so gentle, so quietly, as if he was uttering a precious thing he didn't want to break–

“Eren.” Armin said, reaching his arms out, knowing, just knowing, he would reach his arm to, and they would hold hands, and everything would be fine again, he would have his best friend back–

But just as suddenly as he appeared, he disappeared. 

And Armin couldn't do anything but curl up on the ground and cry, and cry, until his mind encircled him into a deep, unwanted sleep. 

[hopelikethemoon]

Dinner With Friends (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Dinner With Friends Rating: PG-13 Length: 3500 Warnings: Family Fluff and extremely mild angst.  Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. And release order here. Set in January 1998. Shout to the one and only Tiernan for supplying the twist in this chapter.  Summary: Reader and Javier host the Murphys for dinner.

Taglist:  @grapemama​  @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @just-add-butter @snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited​ @ah-callie​ @swhiskeys​ @lady-tano​ @beskar-droids​ @space-floozy @cable-kenobi​ @longitud-de-onda​ @cool-ultra-nerd​ @himbopoes​ @findhimfives​ @pedrosdoll​ @seeking-a-great--perhaps​ @frietiemeloen​ @arrowswithwifi​ @random066​ @uncomicalhumour​ @heather-lynn​ @domino-oh-damn​ @cyarikaaa​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​  @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato @coredrive @pascalesque @theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar (if I forget to tag you, I’m sorry)

“Stevie!” You called out when she started barking loudly — Josie had ensnared her into a game with Olivia and Emily and her patience seemed to be wearing as thin as your own. 

“Did you really have to name her Stevie?”

Steve questioned, shaking his head slowly as he leaned against the kitchen counter and watched you press the button on the top of the lettuce spinner. 

“I love Stevie Nicks.”

He pointed at you, “And that is bullshit.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re just jealous that Sofía isn’t Stevie.” 

Steve glared, “Well if it starts with ‘S’.” 

“I’m sorry, do you have an issue with our daughter being named for Javier’s late mother?” You questioned, folding your arms across your chest briefly, before you emptied out the tossed lettuce into a larger bowl. 

“Not when you put it that way.” Steve huffed, shaking his head as he took a swig of beer. “How are… things going?”

You glanced over your shoulder at him, “The drought was quenched almost five months ago. Thank God.” 

Steve blanched, “I don’t need to know about that.”

“You asked.”

He narrowed his eyes, “About how things are going.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. 

You laughed, shrugging your shoulders. “I’m doing better. There’s still difficult days, but I work through them.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “And Javier is good at helping me.”

“He’s always been more than willing to give you a hand.” Steve said with a slow shake of his head. “The two of you were inseparable.”

You felt a faint blush rise to your cheeks. “I know. And we still are.” You grabbed a handful of freshly washed radishes and started cutting them down into smaller pieces for the salad. “He’s still just as stubborn about everything.”

“Shit. Isn’t he?” Steve snorted, rocking his head to the side.”I don’t know how you put up with that grumpy son-of—“

“Mommy!” Josie called out from the threshold of the kitchen. “Mommmmmy.”

You sat the knife aside and turned back to look at her, hands on your hips. “What’s up?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Dinner is almost ready.” You assured her. “Why don’t you go check on daddy outside?”

“Okay mommy.” Josie beamed at you. “Does daddy have sissy?”

“Aunt Connie does, rugrat.” Steve told her, “She’s out in the backyard with your father.”

“Thank you.” She said politely before leaving through the back door, followed by Emily and Olivia. 

“She gets away with everything doesn’t she?”

“With Javier? Oh, yeah. I’m the strict parent. Always.” You shook your head with a laugh. You didn’t actually mind filling the role of the strict parent, mostly because Javier was a marshmallow of a father.

“I wouldn’t have guessed that.” He remarked as he took a drink of  his beer, “You’ve always been the fun one. Javier? I didn’t know that fun was in his vocabulary.”

You rolled your eyes, “For the record, he was actually very fun in Colombia.”

“Really?” Steve gave you a skeptical look. “I think that might be the rose colored glasses talking.” He gestured to you with the bottle. “You were the positive influence he needed.” 

“Yeah,” You agreed. “He would’ve worked himself to death, if I hadn’t been there.” You scooped up the radishes you’d cut, tossing them into the bowl of lettuce. “Can you get the croutons out of the oven?”

“Look how fancy you are. Making homemade croutons.” Steve teased as he grabbed an oven mitt and pulled the pan out of the oven. 

“Josie will only eat a salad if there’s croutons in it.” You explained to him. “Javier hates the store bought croutons.” You grabbed the carton of cherry tomatoes, flipping the plastic lid up so you could rinse them off under the sink. 

You glanced back towards the backdoor as it slid open, a parade of tiny humans reemerging, followed by Connie and Javier. 

“Hot food, coming through.” Javier warned, clicking his tongue against his teeth to get the girls to move faster. “Come on kiddos.” He shooed them out from under foot as he veered towards the kitchen counter and sat the two plates of grilled burgers down. “Ever try to keep three girls away from a grill?”

You pursed your lips thoughtfully as you turned to face him, tilting your head to the side. “I tried it once, which is why I sent them out to you.” You grinned at him.

“It’s fucking hard.” He chuckled before he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome.” You used the dish towel and swatted him in the ass with it. He caught you by the belt loop as you stepped past him, pulling you in for another kiss.

“Need any help?” Connie questioned as she cradled Sofía to her chest, looking between the two of you. 

You shook your head, “You brought the potato salad and you’ve kept her occupied so I could get everything else ready.” 

“Do you have ranch?” She questioned as she looked towards the bowl of salad, “It’s the only way we can get Olivia to even humor eating something green.” 

Javier nodded, “Josie likes it on broccoli.” He stepped around you and pulled open the fridge to grab the bottle of ranch, as well as the other salad dressing options. 

“How do you get her to eat raw broccoli?” Connie questioned. “It’s an uphill battle to get anything green into the girls.” 

“Josie likes food.”

You rolled your eyes, “Josie will eat anything Javier asks her to eat.” 

He shrugged, “It’s true.” 

“I wish Steve had that effect on the girls.” Connie laughed softly, “He can get them to eat plenty of candy.”

You snorted. “He loves his Werthers.” 

She widened her eyes dramatically, “I swear to God, every pocket is full of wrappers!” 

Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth, “Should’ve done the patch, rather than going cold turkey.” 

“That would make sense,” Connie made a face. “Oh well.” She bounced Sofía in her arms as she started to wake up, “Did you see California is set to ban smoking inside bars?”

“They’ll just ignore it,” You countered, grabbing a tray and putting the salad and the salad bowls on it. “But it’s progress.” 

The three of you headed into the dining room, where Steve had managed to corral the girls into their chairs. 

“I don’t want a burger, mommy.” Josie complained as Javier sat the plate of burgers down on the table. 

“You’re not eating a burger, babydoll. You’re having a soy one with me.” You promised her, pointing to the second plate that contained two burgers that were considerably thinner than the actual hamburgers. 

“I want chicken.” 

“Princesa, you’re eating what we made for you.” Javier warned her, sitting down beside her, across the table from you. 

“Do we have everything?” 

“French fries?” Olivia questioned.

“Your mother made potato salad,” Steve told her, pointing to the Tupperware tub. 

You sat down beside Connie, taking Sofía from her so you could get her settled into her highchair beside you. You used your fork to grab a potato out of the dish of potato salad, plopping it onto Sofía’s highchair tray. You smashed it up with the fork, “You wanna try a bit of potato?”

Sofía seemed skeptical. She reached down and squished the potato between her fingers. 

You tapped your finger against your lips, “You eat it, sunshine.” 

Sofía gurgled and threw herself back against her seat, smearing the potato all over her face.

“Close enough.” Javier chuckled, shaking his head as he slathered mayonnaise on a bun for Josie. 

“More!” She urged, hanging on his arm. 

“Josie.” You gave her a look across the table. 

Sofía kicked her feet against the highchair as she leaned over and tried to reach the tub of potato salad that was well outside of her reach. “You like that?” You questioned, grabbing another potato and putting it on her tray, smashing it up for her again. 

She dramatically hummed her delight. 

“Look at that, she’s not always a grumpy baby.” Steve remarked with a short laugh. “I worried she was a carbon copy of her father.” 

Javier glared at him, subtly flipping him off so Josie couldn’t catch him.

You worked on fixing your own burger, glancing around the table to make sure everyone had what they needed. You really hated playing host. An ideal situation was a box of pizza thrown in the center of the table for everyone to fend for themselves. But Steve and Connie were such gracious hosts, you felt like you had to do the same. 

Javier had lived on grilled cheese, whiskey, and cigarettes for the majority of his bachelor years. He wasn’t one to complain. He wasn’t actually half bad in the kitchen when he put a little effort into it. 

“How’s things at the hospital?” Javier questioned Connie in between bites of burger. 

Connie grabbed her napkin and wiped her mouth off before answering, “Good. I’m not working as many double shifts as I was there for a while. I’ve actually had days off that felt like days off. No catching up on sleep.” 

“With my transition out of the DEA, it’s been nice to have her around more.” Steve added. “Hun, did you tell her about that lady you’re working with?”

You arched a brow, looking at Connie expectantly. 

“Oh! I totally forgot,” She laughed, taking a sip of water before she continued. “We’ve got a new medical social worker working on the floor that looks so much like you. I did a double take the first time I saw her. Do you have a secret younger sister?”

“Nope.” You shook your head, reaching for your bottle of beer and taking a swig. “Is my doppelgänger nice at least?”

“An absolute sweetheart.” Connie said with a grin, taking another bite of her burger before adding, “She’s actually from Medellín.”

Javier dropped his fork, causing it to clamp against his plate. You shot him a curious look, a brow arching upwards. 

“Colombia?” He questioned, taking a drink of beer to keep from choking on the bite of burger he’d swallowed nearly whole. 

“Is there another one?”

Steve cleared his throat, “You hadn’t mentioned she was from Colombia.” He looked between you and Javier with a knowing look. 

“I believe she came here as a political refugee. I didn’t ask for specifics.” Connie shrugged, “Why?”

The look on Javier’s face made the lightbulb come on. Holy shit. 

You leaned an elbow against the table, turning towards Connie. “Her name wouldn’t happen to be Elena, would it?”

Connie’s brows shot upwards, “Yeah! Wait — do you know her?”

“Some of us better than others.” Steve muttered under his breath, much to Javier’s horror. 

“Yeah.” You nodded your head slowly, “She was great. I’m glad she’s gotten herself out of that situation.” You looked towards Javier then, smiling a little. “I guess that promise of safety had follow through.” 

Javier rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly, “I had no idea she was in Miami.” 

“It’s fine, Javi.” You assured him, “It’s a small world.” You watched him as he nodded his head slowly, staring down at his plate of food. Of all the people that the two of you had known in Colombia ⁠— the sheer irony that Elena had made her way to Miami was… something else. 

“I feel like I’m missing something.” Connie remarked, looking between the three of you curiously. “What am I missing?”

“Not in front of the kids.” Steve stated with a shake of his head. 

“Daddy, you gotta eat your veggies.” Josie said sweetly, pushing the bowl of salad towards Javier. “Don’t you wanna be big and strong like me?”

“Of course I do, princesa.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Javier, it’s fine.” You said firmly, shifting in your seat so you could brush your foot against his leg beneath the table. “Don’t get yourself bent out of shape over this.”

“I’m not getting ‘bent out of shape’.” He shot back, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek as he stared at you. “I just can’t believe… of all the cities.” 

“What am I missing?” Connie questioned, nudging you in the arm.

You sighed, chewing on the inside of your bottom lip. “Elena was one of Javi’s informants. When was that?” ‘89 to ‘92?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Steve agreed with you, pushing his potato salad around on his plate. 

Javier was so tense you could see the corded muscles of his throat as he stared straight ahead at you. 

“So she was an informant informant?” Connie questioned, brows furrowed as she looked towards you.

“Yeah.” You nodded, “And it’s not nearly as big of a deal as Javier is acting like it is.” 

Javier raked his fingers through his hair, sighing heavily as he sank back in his chair. He scratched at his lightly scruffy jaw, not quite meeting your gaze as he looked across the table at you. “It’s a big deal to me.” 

Connie looked between the two of you, “I really didn’t mean to start something.” 

“You didn’t.” You assured her, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “Hey Javi, did you leave the grill on?” 

He gritted his teeth together before he gave a stiff nod, scooting his chair back and getting up from the table. 

“Daddy, where are you going?” Josie asked with her mouth full of her burger.

“Daddy left the grill on.” Javier offered, meeting your gaze as you got up from the table. 

“Uh-oh!” Josie said with a sing-song voice, entirely oblivious to the situation. 

“We’ll hold the fort down,” Steve promised you as you followed Javier through the kitchen and out the backdoor into the yard. 

He walked a few paces ahead of you, before he stopped with his back to you. You considered staying rooted to the spot where you stood, but instead you moved towards him and curled your arms around his middle, resting your cheek against his back. “Javi,” You started, trying to keep your voice steady. “This is such a non-issue.” 

“For you.” He retorted, resting his hands over yours. “I feel like every time we take one step forward, something happens that sets us back. Every fucking time, baby.” 

“But it’s a non-issue,” You assured him, squeezing him a little tighter. “I liked Elena the handful of times we worked together. I’m thrilled that she’s thriving. Hell, I’m glad she’s here. Miami isn’t so bad.” 

Javier turned in your embrace, his hands settling at your hips. “I didn’t know she was here.” 

“I didn’t think you did.” You reached up and cupped his cheek, brushing your thumb over the rise of his cheekbone as you met his gaze. “Look, I know that’s a period of history you’re not particularly fond of, but… It doesn’t bother me. At all.” You tilted your head to the side, “I thought we were working past this.” You gestured between the two of you. “There’s no other shoe waiting to fall.”

His Adam’s bobbed as he looked down at you, “I just can’t fucking believe she’s in Miami.” He shook his head slowly. “Of all the goddamn places.”

“I think she had a cousin here.” You recalled, “Shit, that was a long time ago.”

Javier nodded his head in agreement, “Yeah.” He ran his hands over your hips slowly, “Last time I saw her was right after you told me…” 

“Did you tell her?” Your brows furrowed. 

“I did, yeah.” He recalled, “I mean she knew about you…”

“I know she did.” You reached you and played with the hair that sat against his forehead. “I thought you didn’t tell anyone.”

He shrugged a shoulder, “It slipped out. I figured it didn’t really matter that she knew. She was happy for us.”

You smiled fondly, “I think we should meet up with her.”

“What?”

“Catch up, see how she is…”

“Baby—“

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” You raised your eyebrows. “Hell, she might not even want to see either of us.” You shrugged your shoulders. “I just think it’s too ironic that she’s working at the same hospital as Connie.” 

“I’m not going.”

“That’s fine, I’ll go then.” You rose up on your toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “You need to stop worrying so much, Javi.” You brushed your nose against his as you raked your fingers through his hair at his temples. “I trust you.” 

Javier curled his arm around your waist, keeping you close to him. “What’d I do to deserve you, baby?” 

“Still trying to figure that one out.” You teased, kissing the tip of his nose. “Come on. Connie’s going to be stressing that she’s single-handedly destroyed our relationship if we don’t get back inside.”

“She was mortified.” He chuckled.

“Not nearly as much as you were.”

“I was praying for the earth to open up and swallow me whole.” 

You rolled your eyes. “You felt that way in the sex sho—”

Javier cut you off, covering your mouth with his hand. “Don’t.” He warned you. 

You poked him in the stomach and when he didn’t remove his hand, you swept your tongue over the palm of his hand. That worked. He quickly pulled his hand away, wiping his hand off on the front of his jeans.

“If you want to shut me up, you’re going to have to wait until we’re alone.” You told him, putting your hands on your hips, before walking backwards towards the back door. “But until then, we have guests to entertain.” 

“It’s just Steve and Connie.” Javier followed after you, his arms crossed across his chest. 

“Who are guests we’re entertaining.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “And you’re going to finish your food, otherwise Josie is going to believe she can skip dinner too.” 

“Fine.” He huffed quietly, shaking his head as he slid the sliding door shut behind him. “But we’re dropping this conversation. I don’t wanna talk about an informant in front of the girls.” 

You gave a mock salute, “Sure thing.” 

Javier caught you by the belt loop, pulling you towards him. “I mean it.”

“I’m not going to bring it up again.” You promised, curling your fingers around the back of his neck. “As much as I love torturing you I’m not cruel, Javier.” 

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Thank you.” 

You smiled up at him, “No ‘thank yous’ needed, babe.” You took his hand into yours, interlacing your fingers as he headed back for the dining room. Steve and Connie had managed to keep the kids entertained in your absence. 

“She’s had about a full little potato.” Connie told you as she gestured to Sofía, “I think most of it got into her mouth.” 

“She gets really into her food.” You chuckled, releasing Javier’s hand as you both returned to your own seats. 

“Where’d you go daddy?” Josie asked, tilting her head to the side as she licked the dressing off a piece of radish, only to dip it into her salad bowl again. 

“Like I told you,” He reached over and smoothed his hand over the top of her head. “I left the grill on.” 

Connie gave you a wary look as you picked up your burger and took a bite. “So…”

“Everything’s fine.” You assured her, looking towards Steve then, “So have you heard any rumors in the DEA about the article?”

“Oh, I have.” He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek and shook his head. “I hope you don’t plan on looking for a job in the federal government.” 

You feigned offense, “If I ever did, you’d know I had been abducted by aliens.” It was still bizarre to consider that you had spent so much of your early adulthood working towards a role in the very institution you wanted to pull down. 

“Baby, you know I have a class of students that would love to see you teaching.” Javier pointed out, beaming with pride. “End of last semester, I had her come in and give a lecture for the department.” 

You rolled your eyes, “It was a fifteen-minute talk.”

“With a forty-minute question and answer section.” Javier insisted, his eyes meeting yours with an adoration that warmed your heart. 

“I would only disappoint them,” You licked a drop of mayonnaise off your thumb as you sat your soy burger back down. “They already think you’re a tyrant when it comes to papers and grading.” 

Steve laughed, “Isn’t that because you do most of the marking for him.”

“And I go easy on them.” You grinned. “My teachers didn’t take any corners with me and I worked my ass off to get here.” 

“I don’t know if I can picture you as a teacher,” Connie said, giving you a once over. “No, I can’t.”

“Thankfully,” Javier started with a teasing tone. “They’re college students and not children.”

“And what does that mean?” You questioned, looking in between the two of them. “I am a delight.” 

“You certainly lectured us a lot. Back in the day.” Steve joined in. 

“Was I wrong?” 

“Rarely.” He agreed. 

“Well, we can't all be Professor Peña, now can we?” You quipped, nudging Javier’s foot under the table. 

He scratched at his jaw, shaking his head. “No, we can’t.”

“But I’m always interested in dropping in to torment you and Monica.”

“Do the other students know that you’ve all but adopted her?” Steve questioned. 

You started to answer, but Olivia was quick to announce, “I’m adopted!” 

Josie turned towards Javier, “Am I adopted?” 

“No princesa, you weren’t adopted.” Javier assured her as she grabbed at his arm. 

“Was sissy adopted?”

“No. Remember your mommy grew her in her belly?” Javier reminded her, giving Connie a sympathetic smile, before his eyes flickered towards your face. “Out of the mouths of babes.” 

“Seriously.” You laughed as you shook your head, reaching for your beer. “To answer your question, no. They don’t know.”

“Trying to keep things unbiased.” Javier explained as he scooped Josie into his lap, much to her delight. “She actually earned herself a B- on a test this week she should’ve aced.”

“You didn’t tell me that.” You frowned. “Why?”

“Her attentions a little stretched right now.”

“Of course it is.” You rolled your eyes, “Oh to be young and in love.” 

“Old and in love isn’t too bad, is it?” He countered with a wink.

You grinned, “It’s pretty good too.” 

[captainfrisbee]

no strings on me

chapter 1 

masterlist

There were a lot of people here. Ofcourse I expected people but this is a lot. Tony was trowing another party to celabrate the avengers for bringing down another HYDRA base. Well you know Tony he sees an excuse for a party he takes it with both hands. Im just talking to Sam, A friend Steve made. About sports.  'The thing about heavy weight kickboxers is that every hit can be the one, So you're way more on edge.' I say while taking a sip of my red fernandes in a wine glass.  'Yes but if you want to see a good fight you have to watch the middle weight. They really got that technique.' Sam says.  'Yeah thats true.' I say taking another sip. Fernandes is basicly just licuid sugar but its good.  'That better not be wine in that glass there young lady.' I hear dad say from behind me in his 'dad' voice.  'Don't worry I would never give her that. Its just some kind of red soda.' Nat says joining us.  'Well I'm going to play some pool with some old dudes. See ya.' Sam says clinging his beer bottle against your glass.  'Tony told me to tell you guys he's having a little afterparty in the livingroom for avengers and crew only.' Nat says smiling at your dad for just a second to long. Im not stupid something is going on between those two.  We walk into the livingroom and see the other avengers laughing and eating chinese. I grap a plate and dump some food not there, And sit down on the couch next to thor.  'It's physics!' Tony says. 'Physics.' My dad agrees. Tony graps thors hammer that is standing on the table. 'So if i lift it, i just rule asguard?"  Thor laughs. 'Yeah ofcourse. '  'I will be re-instituting Prima Nocta.' Tony tries to lift the hammer but fails 'I'll be right back.' wearing his armored hand, Stark tries to lift the hammer again and fails. wearing their armored hands, tony and Rhodey both try to lift Thor's hammer. 'Are you even pulling?' 'Are you on my team? 'Just represent. pull!'  My dad stands up next and pulls, He fails and tries to transform into the hulk but fails. Everybody looks at him a bit weird except for Nat she just grins at him. I swear something is going on between them. Dad sits back down again.  I give Steve a little push in the back. "Come on Steve no presure.' I laugh. Steve stands up scruching his shoulders. He graps the hammer and pulls. I dont know if i saw it wrong but I swear I saw it move a bit. Steve pulls again but he can't lift it.  'Nothing.' Thor nervously laughs. I think he saw it move too.  'And?'  'Widow.' dad asks. 'Oh no.' Nat says 'Thats not a question I need answered. 'All deference for the man who wouldn't be king. But it's rigged.' Tony says.  'You bet your ass it is.' Clint replies. 'Oh steve.' hill remarks 'He said a bad lanuage word.  Steve turns Towards Tony. 'Did you tell everybody that?'  But Tony just completely ignores him. 'The handle's imprinted, right? Like a security code. "Whosoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints" is, I think, the literal translation?' Thor leans back and laughs. 'Yes, well that's, uh, that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one.' he gets up and lifts his hammer and flips it. 'You're all not worthy. there's a chorus of disagreement from the others. sudenly there's a loud screeching noise, causing everyone to cover their ears. i let my hands down as it fades. from the background rises a broken robot.  'Worthy... No... How could you be worthy? You're all killers.' Everybody seems confused not knowing whats happening.  'Stark.' Steve says asking for an explination from him. Tony starts saying a lot of stuff i can't hear. im backing off to get away from that robot incase it wants to hurt anybody. Because im not an avenger I cant keep a killer robot from killing me. Suddenly a whole group of robots fly into the room and attac us. I get pushed behind a couch by Nat. She graps my head and holds me down against her. I try to breathe through it. Just nose in mouth out. The guys and Maria are fighting the robots. The fighting dies down.  'That was dramatic! I'm sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn't think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. How is humanity saved if it's not allowed to...evolve?' it picks up one of the dismembered robots. 'With these? These puppets? There's only one path to peace: The Avengers' extinction.' Thor throws his hammer at Ultron and smashes him to pieces. after Thor destroys his body, Ultron starts singing 'I had strings, in the labut now I'm free. There are no strings on me, no strings on me.'

[shyvioletcat]

don’t touch me for rowaelin

Here you go. I hope this is enough to stop you from ripping our hearts out…

SET IN STRIKING MATCHES AU

Masterlist

~~~~~

Aelin was asleep on the couch when she woke up to her phone ringing on the coffee table. Netflix was still playing so she must not have been asleep that long. She reached for it, blinking away the haze of sleep and saw that it was Rowan calling.

“Hey,” Aelin said as she sat up and stretched.

“Heeeyyyy, babe,” Rowan said on the other end of the phone.

Aelin froze and suppressed a groan. Rowan only ever called her babe when he was drunk. Really drunk. This should be fun.

“You ready to be picked up?” Aelin asked. Rowan had gone out for a boys night for Vaughan’s birthday. Aelin liked him enough but his parties always when a bit overboard.

“Yep.” Rowan’s lips popped on the sound of the ‘p’.

“Alright, I’ll see you in about 15 minutes,” Aelin said.

“I love you,” Rowan slurred into the phone but before Aelin could answer Rowan had hung up.

Aelin stood and stretched out the rest of her body before she grabbed her keys and left.

~~~~~

Aelin had called Rowan five times and still he hadn’t come out the front. The bar they had chosen to come to was a little on the dingier side so Aelin wasn’t too keen to go in and get him. She called him once more and when he didn’t answer she got out of the car and locked in behind her.

She pushed through the door of the bar and the smell of stale beer and sweat was almost so oppressive that she considered walking straight back out. But she wanted to go home and who knows how long it would take for Rowan to answer. So she walked between the tables, looking out for Rowan and his friends. It was Connall she spotted first, he was at the bar ordering a few drinks. When he saw Aelin his face split into a grin, but then it fell slightly a few seconds later. Aelin didn’t like what that boded.

She approached him and said, “Where is he?”

“In the back,” Connall said and started leading the way.

Aelin followed, trying not to bump into or get bumped into by any of the drunk patrons. When she saw the booth they were in Aelin felt her temper rise like a wildfire. She saw the reason why Rowan wasn’t able to answer his phone. It was in the hands of a pretty redhead who was busy taking selfies with it. Aelin pushed past Connall who look down right terrified. With good reason.

It took the table a moment to realise she was standing there and when they did the boys went silent, the redhead and her blonde friend just ignored her. Rowan had enough sense to look a little apologetic.

“I’ve been waiting in the car,” she said.

“Sorry babe,” Rowan said and Aelin brows rose. “I don’t have my phone.”

“I can see that.” Aelin turned her gaze to the redhead who was now pursing her lips like a duck at the camera. “You know if someone is calling multiple times it might be a good idea, maybe if your somewhat a decent person, to give the phone back.”

Now that Aelin had addressed her the redhead looked over, and scoffed. The sound had Aelin’s spine straightening. “Give me the phone and go find someone else to fling yourselves at.”

“Just leave already,” Lorcan said to Aelin, taking a sip of his beer.

“This one here,” Aelin indicated to Lorcan while looking at the girls. “My ex. Gave me herpes.”

To Aelin’s delight the two girls looked horrified.

“Gods, you’re a bitch,” Lorcan said.

Aelin’s head snapped to Lorcan ready to spew fire at him but then someone laughed. Not just anyone. Rowan. It cut her deeper than she was going to admit. Especially here.

“My current boyfriend who’s phone you’ve stolen,” Aelin reached across the table and plucked the phone from the redhead’s hand while she was stunned, “needs to get checked out. Think I’ve had a flare up. I’ll be in the car.”

There was a burst of laughter from Fenrys who looked like this was the most entertaining thing he’d seen in his life.

Aelin left without another word, not waiting to see if Rowan would follow. If he didn’t he could find another way home. She was almost at the car when she heard Rowan’s heavy footfalls behind her, still she didn’t look back. Aelin just got in the car. While she waited for Rowan to get in she unlocked his phone and opened his photos. Those girls had taken a lot of photos. Luckily for Rowan none of them were too incriminating for him. She could say the same for some of the others. Aelin selected a heap of photos and sent them to the trash. By then Rowan had got into the car, he barely had his seatbelt on before Aelin started the ignition. Aelin practically threw his phone to him. It was more like at him.

“Babe,” Rowan said, his accent thicker with his drunkenness.

“Don’t you babe me,” Aelin spat back.

“Those girls weren’t listening when I told them I had a girlfriend,” Rowan said. “I told them over and over but they didn’t listen. When they took my phone I knew they were just baiting me.”

Rowan reached over to place one of his broad hands on her thigh but Aelin flinched away.

“Don’t touch me.”

Rowan recoiled like he’d been burned and the rest of the car ride passed in silence. Aelin didn’t say anything as she parked the car, or when they started to climb the stairs to the level their apartments were on. She only spoke when Rowan followed her to her door and expected to be let inside.

“I think you should go home tonight Rowan,” Aelin said, holding onto her keys. They hardly ever slept apart these days so Rowan looked shocked when those words had come out of her mouth.

“I told you I didn’t encourage those girls,” Rowan said.

“It’s not that,” Aelin said quietly as she tried desperately to keep her voice from rising.

“Is it because I made you wait?”

Aelin shook her head.

“That girl —“

“It wasn’t the girl!” Aelin said her voice louder and higher than she wanted it to be. “You laughed when Lorcan called me a bitch.”

“Well you are…” Rowan realised too late the words that had come out of his mouth.

“You are not staying here tonight,” Aelin said as she turned away from her idiotic boyfriend and unlocked the door. She didn’t look back as she slammed it in his face.

~~~~~

Rowan did not feel good. He felt sick and tired and like someone and smashed his head into a wall. He was a bit surprised to find himself in his bed in his apartment. But then he remembered what he’d said. He slapped his palm to his head for being such a godsdamned idiot. He staggered to his shower, praying he woudn’t throw up on the way. He managed to make it and turn the scolding water on. He tried to keep it short but his body was slow, the only thing that had him moving was that he needed to apologise to Aelin. And fast.

He slipped on a tshirt and shorts and grabbed his keys and wallet. He passed by Aelin’s door. He wasn’t about to apologise empty handed. Even though it almost killed him Rowan made his way down the stairs and to the bakery down the street where he picked up some chocolate filled pasties. Then he climbed the stairs again, resting every few flights to stop his stomach from rising. When he reached their floor he went straight to Aelin’s door and knocked. He could have opened the door with his key but he had a feeling Aelin might turn her kickboxing skills on him if he did. He waited, he could hear her moving around in there, thankfully towards the door. The door swung open and Aelin stood there, robe wrapped around her hiding one of her flimsy nightgowns.

“Can I come in?” Rowan asked, lifting the bag of pastries into Aelin’s eye line.

She eyed him, then the bag. Then she nodded and stepped aside to let him in.

“I’m sorry, Aelin,” Rowan said as he offered her the bag directly. She didn’t take it. Just crossed her arms.

“For?” Aelin quipped.

“Take one, They’re your favourites,” Rowan said as he offered the bag again.

This time Aelin took the bag and walked to the kitchen, Rowan following.

“What are you sorry for?”

Rowan sighed. “I wasn’t laughing at Lorcan calling you a bitch.”

“Certainly sounded like it,” Aelin said as she pulled out a pastry and put it on a plate. She didn’t take a bite, just folded her arms again.

“I was very drunk. I was laughing at you telling the girls Lorcan gave you herpes. It was very delayed,” Rowan explained. He saw the corner of Aelin’s lip quirk up. Good he was getting somewhere.

“What about what you said when we got home?” She asked as she played with the sleeve of her robe.

Rowan moved forward and she let him rest his hands on her hips. “Again I was very drunk. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“If you said that while drunk, there must have been some truth to it,” Aelin said quietly.

Rowan tilted her chin up with his finger, “Well…”

Rowan smiled as Aelin swatted at his arm. “You bastard. You were a little right. I’m not ashamed of it though”

“Those girls deserved your serving of bitchiness, they were awful,” Rowan dropped a soft kiss to her lips. “I also wouldn’t be surprised if Lorcan struggled to get a date for a while. They seemed to be the kind to gossip.”

“Then my work is done,” Aelin said draping her hands around Rowan’s neck.

“I really am sorry, Aelin. I love you. Every part of you.”

Aelin sighed. “I think I’ll love you again after I eat your apology breakfast.”

Rowan pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. “Maybe some dessert after?”

“Only if it’s better than the main course,” Aelin replied.

“Trust me. It will be.”

~~~~~

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[prettylittlehargrove]

December 10th - Snowed In 🎄

Summary : Your little study session with Billy doesn’t go exactly as planned, but maybe it’s for the better...

Warning : None

Word Count : ???

Authors Notes : Sorry these have been very delayed oops, but I’m working on requests now darlings so look out for yours!! I’ve got around 5-6 to finish and upload 🥰

You threw your books onto your bed, a loud huff emitted from your lips as you lugged yourself over to your desk chair, sitting awkwardly on the suppose to be ‘soft’ seating.

To say that school was going well would be the biggest lie you’d ever imagined in your life. School was hell. From the constant testing and homework every week, to the constant rumours which spread like a virus through your classmates. All to do with you and the new hot shot at school.

Billy Hargrove was far from a good christian boys you’d been set up with before. He was a sun kissed little devil who could drop panties with just so much as a flash of his pearly whites and a cheeky wink. Your mother would’ve murdered you if she even found out that a boy like that was attending your school, let alone the fact that you were unfortunately head over heels for him.

The rumours wouldn’t even be a thing if it wasn’t for Tina’s Christmas party last night. Steve was being a bit of a drunk asshole and he mumbled some nasty shit about you under his breath, which caused you to burst into tears and landed Steve a punch square in the face from the one and only Californian god. All you could remember was how your face went as red as Billy’s shirt at the fact that not only had he of all people stuck up for you, but he’d punched Steve Harrington. Hawkins resident asshole. You knew all about how he’d smashed Jon’s camera last week.

Well as the week went on, Billy only became more protective of you, and followed you around like a little lost puppy.

And now, here you are inspecting the calander on your desk. The snowy December weather sending a shiver down your spine, causing you to force yourself out of your chair and go to close your window. A camaro seemed to be parked right outside your house...

‘Is that Billy’s car?’ You thought, a glance at the calander again made you notice the red marker which mentioned how you had a tutor session with the little devil.

“Crap” you whispered. Shoving yourself into a more presentable outfit, way better than your usual school look and untying your hair.

A shrill cry of your doorbell caused your body to bolt down the stairs. Meeting face to face with his ocean eyes as you opened the door.

“Heya Princess, nice place” he smirked, leaning against the doorframe, dark smirk playing his features.

“Umm, thank you... uhh, come in” you cursed yourself for completely losing ever ounce of confidence you’d built up between open ring the door and meeting his dreamy eyes.

He looked around the place, looking around at the dull decor your mother had become so in love with.

“You want something to drink or eat? You didn’t eat lunch again... I Uhh noticed...” this was true, Billy never ate lunch unless he was sharing half a sandwich with you or Tommy. In fact you never really saw him eat at school.

“If you don’t mind doll” his words were like fucking silk, it made your knees weak with nerves. He follows you into the kitchen and leaned against the island. You set up a cup of cocoa and reached into the cookie jar to grab him some gingerbread. “How was basketball practice? Steve didn’t give you any trouble again?” You mumbled, setting the cup down with the plate of sweet treats in front of him.

“It was good, Harrington’s backed down since last week, but I mean he got what he deserved, shouldn’t say shit like that to my princess” he dipped his cookie into the cocoa and lifted it to his lips, taking a large bite and sighing with happiness. “Such a good cook angel”

Your mind raced at the words ‘my princess’ you definitely weren’t dating. Billy was was out of your league... he was the bad boy who hung out with the bad kids and smoked cigarettes whilst he was supposed to the be in maths, which he was failing, majorly. “There was no need for violence, but I think... I- Uhh I think it was sweet, so umm thank you... it had good intentions” you took a sip from your own cup of cocoa and giggled a little as billy gobbled down the cookies.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Ok?...”

“Why’re you always so nervous around me?” His eyebrow was raised, fingers tapping against the wooden surface of the island counter.

“I’m - im... umm- I don’t know... I think it’s just... oh look! Crap, that snow looks heavy...” your eyes had darted across the room to the window which showed the blizzard that had erupted outside. The phone interrupted your thought process and caused you to excuse yourself.

“Hello?”

“We aren’t going to make it back home tonight, theres been a snowstorm and we’ve been snowed in for the night, are you ok?”

“Yeah... Umm- it’s looking really bad outside, is it not ok to drive at all?”

“No, walking is even dangerous to be honest, sorry darling, I’ve phoned the neighbours and they’re around if you need them but from the sounds of it you’ve got a friend over hmm?”

“Yes... yes, ok I’ll just have to get some extra blankets and pillows etc... love you” you muttered, watching Billy snoop around your kitchen.

“Love you too, and no funny business-“ you quickly hung up, not prepared for an hour long lecture about being safe when home alone.

“I can walk home and pick the car up tomorrow?” Billy piped up, having sort of eavesdropped on bits of your conversation.

“No, it’s ok, you’ll catch your death in that weather, I’ll get some blankets and we can sleep in my room, the heating doesn’t work downstairs during winter” your hands searched the cabinet for a few extra throws and blankets, piling them onto Billy’s arms, whilst grabbing some pillow and candles.

You both trudged up the stairs, Billy smirked as he entered the room. The cute wallpaper and fluffy white carpet made the place look cute and comfy.

“We can set up some sort of blanket defence system against the cold air, but in the mean time, did you bring your revision stuff?” Billy opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes immediately darted across the room.

“Uhh, yeah I kinda forgot this was a study session” he chuckled awkwardly, a light pink tint warming his cheeks.

“Oh... that’s fine, we don’t have to study, I guess we might as well just hang out... yeah...” he nodded, grabbing a blanket and placing it against the bottom of your door to stop cold air from enetering the room.

An awkward silence fell upon you both as you made the room cosy.

He shifted himself closer to you. “Ya know you didn’t finish off your answer to my question?” He whispered, hand dangerously close to your leg.

“I guess - maybe I kinda think that... Umm” your face was bright red, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry angel, I think your cute too” he chuckled lowly, hand resting on your thigh.

“You do-“ every word you said was shaky. Billy tilted his head, a smile on his face before he nodded.

“I think that you’re adorable and I was kinda hoping that this wasn’t gonna be just some study session” you shivered, the cool breeze getting past the blankets and sending shivers down your spine.

Billy didn’t even think twice before he grabbed a quilt and wrapped you up in it. Your faces were so close, his eyes locked onto yours.

“C-can I kiss you” you stuttered. He nodded and lifted his hand up to your cheek, pulling you into him. The kiss was magical and passionate. Billy had never kissed someone and felt butterflies in his stomach before. For once he was nervous and he felt goosebumps.

Slowly you both pulled away. “Was that ok angel?” A small nod and a smile told him everything. He pulled you onto his lap, cuddling your shivering body close.

“When we get out of this snowstorm I’ll take you on a real nice date” he mumbled, stroking your hair as the snow fell outside your window.

[lovelyshawnn]

Bodyguard!Shawn x Famous Reader imagine part 2

I nervously tapped my nail on the material of my clutch purse as my leg bounced up and down frantically as if it had a mind of its own. I didn’t even realize my nerve wracking habits until Walter reached over and placed his hand firmly on my shaking thigh, “Calm down, babe.”

I let out a breathy laugh, “Sorry, I’m just... a bit nervous.” Walter furrowed his brow at me, “Nervous? Since when were you ever nervous for an award show? We all know you’re going to kill it out there.”

I bit my lip. Walter was right, I typically never had this much anxiety before an award show. The only thing that made me nervous was the fact that tonight was the first time that me and Shawn were going to be in the same building in 3 months. 3 months since he left me with not even a days notice. Packed up all his stuff and flew across the world to work for Camila Cabello. “Camila is attending this award show.” I mumbled quietly. Camila attending meant... Shawn was also attending.

Walter pieced together the puzzle, raising his brows in surprise before patting my thigh and giving me a small smile to indicate that he understood and that he was here for me. Walter was the bodyguard that Chelsea hired for me once Shawn left. Walter was more built and taller than Shawn, but he was no Shawn. He couldn’t ever hold me or kiss me the way Shawn did. No one else ever could. I tried desperately to get over Shawn these past couple of months but I couldn’t help but have my mind wander off, thinking about the way Shawn would lazily draw shapes into my skin before we both fell asleep, or the way he always kept his hand at the small of my back when we walked through a crowd together.

“Alright, you ready?” Walter’s voice broke me out of my deep thought. I nodded before he took my hand and led me out of the small limousine that arrived at the VMAs red carpet. As soon as I walked out, cameras were flashing left and right. I walked to the backdrop to have my photo taken in the long, silky red dress that I wore with my hair curled.

As I was finishing up with an brief interview on the side of the red carpet, I caught a glance of a head of brown curly hair. There Shawn was, dressed in a grey suit that was different from his usual black and white outfit. Camila was laughing at a joke that he must’ve said, leaning on him and placing her hand on his bicep.

I stared and stared and I couldn’t look away no matter how furious the sight before me made me. At the very last second, Shawn looked up and made direct eye contact with me. His smile instantly dropped, and his mouth was left slightly agape at the sight of me.

Our stare was intense. It felt like we were the only ones in the room, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Shawn was the first one to take a step closer to me, before I was pulled out of my gaze.

“Y/N! They have crab cakes!” I heard Walter shriek like a little girl as he grabbed onto my hand and led me to the food table. I laughed at his excitement over a simple fucking appetizer as we loaded up our plates with food.

“So, hows Ryan?” I asked while shoving my face full of food. “Oh, hes great! We were just thinking about moving in together, actually” Walter replied with a beam of light that always appeared when someone mentioned his boyfriend. Walter and I have gotten extremely close over the past few months since we spend basically every waking second together, and I definitely considered him one of my closest friends. I was so happy that at least he could find some love and happiness.

The night dragged on and on as I watched people perform, and socialized with the people around me. It was a fun night, but lets face it. The only thing on my mind was Shawn. The whole night was honestly a dreadful blur, until the afterparty happened.

The afterparty was hosted at some club downtown and I just wanted to come drink my sorrows away and forget about Shawn. “I’m gonna go use the restroom, I’ll meet you at the bar?” Walter said before I nodded and split up from him.

I walked to brightly lit bar and flagged down the bartender, ordering me and Walter’s usual drinks. “2 margaritas and some vodka shots, please!”

“You still drinking those fruity little cocktails, love?” A deep voice rang in my ear and I instantly felt a shiver go down my spine. I looked to my side and saw the face that I was so desperately trying to forget for the night. Shawn.

A wave of anger washed over my body. Who did he think he was, leaving me without a warning and ignoring every text and call for months, and then walking up to me with some stupid ass remark? I rolled my eyes. “You still fucking every girl you work for?”

I downed a shot and felt the liquid sting my throat. Shawn shook his head nonchalantly, “I could say the same for you. Moved on quick, maybe?”

A loud lough erupted from my throat. “Yeah, well, I move on quite quick when I didn’t even get a say in anything,” I said, rolling my eyes before grabbing my drinks and making my way away from the bar. I was stopped as a warm hand grasped onto my arm.

“Aw c’mon now, don’t be like that honey,” Shawn said as he leant into me and brushed a piece of my hair away from my face and tucked it neatly behind my ear. Normally, this close proximity would have me weak at the knees. But the stench of alcohol from Shawn’s breath made me feel disgusted. “You’re unbelievable,” I said before pushing him off of me and watching him stumble to regain balance before I sauntered away from him and outside of the club.

I just needed a minute outside alone to get some fresh air before heading back inside. I leaned my back against the brick wall behind me, letting my head fall back and my eyes fall closed. I took a deep breath in. Just try to forget him. You don’t mean anything to him, so he shouldn’t mean anything to you. Just forget h-

“I’m sorry.” My thoughts were cut off by that god awful, stupidly soft voice that Shawn had. I laughed sarcastically, “You’re sorry?? You left! I told you that I loved you and you just left!” I was screaming at the top of my lungs in front of everyone but I just couldn’t hold in my anger any longer.

“I had to leave! I couldn’t fucking stand seeing you and Charlie all lovey dovey and shit!” Shawn fought back, obviously sobering up by the minute.

“Well I can’t fucking stand seeing you right now so get the hell out of my face, Shawn!” I yelled back with the same amount of anger.

Before I could even see it, Shawn had me pressed up against the wall with his hands on my hips and his lips massaging mine. For some reason, I couldnt fight it as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Our tongues fought for dominance before he pulled back just a little bit for air. His breathing was rugged and shaky as he whispered, “I love you.”

He kissed me again, smashing his lips onto mine before I could even process his words. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said while pecking my lips. “I love you and I have always loved you. I just couldn’t tell you I loved you because it would only hurt you more when I left. I was just trying to protect you, but I... I fucked up, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

I stared at him blankly, unable to break away from my state of shock. He took my silence as a cue to keep talking. “I understand if you never want to see me again, but I need you to know that I will always love you.”

I smiled, leaning up to plant a small kiss on his lips again. “I love you too.” Shawn grinned from ear to ear at my response, “So you-“

“Y/N! I’ve been looking for you!” Walter’s loud and worried voice interrupted our moment. Shawn rolled his eyes at the sight of his replacement. “Oh for fucks sake, not this guy...” he mumbled angerly.

“Shawn. He’s gay.”

Shawn’s face immediately grew red as he tried to hide his blush by burying his face in the crook of my neck. “You really couldn’t have told me that earlier? I was pissed the whole night about him.”

“You really couldn’t have confessed your undying love for me earlier? I missed out on a lot of orgasms” I replied.

“Touche.” Shawn and I giggled before he pulled me in closer and moved his warm lips closer to the cold shell of my ear due to the cold nighttime LA air, “Lets go home now and see if I can make up for that, yeah?

a/n: this was long long long overdue im so sorry guys !! but part 2 is finally out!!

[queenmalhinewahine]

Prompt: I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days.

Inspired by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan for her Hamilfilm Lyric Challenge

Pairing: Cullen/Fem Reader

Rating: M, for the slight masturbation, and mentions of spicy times in the future.

Notes: I love the dear Commander Cullen from Dragon Age: Inquistion. I hope you enjoy this story. ALSO I TRIED TO ADD A READ MORE BREAK BUT IM ON MOBILE. IM SO SORRY TO EVERYONE!!! 😭

—————————————————————————-

You had remained busy since entering Skyhold, building up what you lost in Haven. The loss was great indeed, countless lives lost but so many more were saved by quick thinking and a team who wouldn’t go down without a fight. That included the Commander of the Inquisition’s army, Cullen Rutherford. You had to order him to leave you behind, so you could give the ones remaining a fighting chance. And when you talked after reaching Skyhold, he told you that he was happy you were safe and very much alive. Your heart soared, you had been mindlessly flirting with the Commander ever since you remained at Haven. But tonight was no different, you had to see him about recruits and numbers for an upcoming mission to the Hissing Wastes, and what could be done for dark spawn in the Hinterlands.

You knocked on his door quietly, but you didn’t hear a response. You pushed it open, peeking your head around, looking for your commander. He was usually at his desk, or at the bookshelf pulling various manuscripts and parchments down to look over. But the area was quiet, the candle still burning high, so he must not have gone far. You were about to leave when you heard someone moan from above. You immediately stilled your motions, trying to figure out what the noise was exactly.

“Y/N” you heard his deep voice moan. Your cheeks burned, and you contemplated leaving but your feet were like stone. You covered your mouth with a hand, you flicked your free hand, locking his doors from any intruders with magic. You took a light step toward the ladder leading to his chambers above.

His deep timber voice drifting down the hole to your ears, making you blush further.

“Shit, I’m gonna cum. Take it all.” He begged. You felt your own heat building between your legs, your folds getting slick.

“Y/n...” he cried out. You knew he had just cum, his breathing heavy. You could imagine the broad chest heaving, his hand covered in his own seed, the tuffs of blonde hair around his cock and balls, sticky and covered. You bit your lip to keep the moan back, and before you could make a fool of yourself, someone loudly knocked at his door.

You nearly jumped outta your skin, you heard the bed groan from the relived pressure of him standing up. You panicked.

“Be right there.” He called out. You heard his heavy boot steps on the floor, and you bolted away from the ladder. You quickly unlocked a side door, running out of his office. But you forgot one small detail, your papers.

“Shit, shit, shit.” You muttered. How could you be so foolish? Listening to his private moment, even if it was about you. You took the stairs down to the main level of the castle, and immediately went to your room. You didn’t talk to anyone, or even look up from the floor. You needed to rid yourself of those sounds, the thoughts of Cullen gripping you tight and driving his cock into your pussy relentlessly. You slammed your door shut, sliding the lock in place. You skipped the stairs, and began to shed your clothes. You were done working tonight, it wasn’t like you could face him tonight anyway. Not after hearing him.

The next couple days you avoided meeting Commander Cullen alone, and every time he saw you the tips of his ears turned red. You couldn’t meet his gaze directly, and how you loved to stare into this honey colored eyes.

“Inquisitor.” He greeted in passing. You simply nodded and scurried off to the war room to meet with Josephine and Leliana. By the time you got done with those meetings, you were exhausted. You pushed the door open from the war room, bumping into someone. No, not just someone but the very someone you were trying to avoid. His strong arms stopped you from falling over, but that left you rather close to the Commanders face.

“Thank you.” You replied quickly, balancing yourself back out. You stepped back like his touch could burn, his brows furrowed but he quickly cleared it away.

“Any time Inquisitor.” His words soft. You darted around him, but his hand caught your arm.

“I know you were there. But for how long?” He asked. You looked up at him, his ears red again but his eyes. Oh his eyes were completely lust blown, you felt the wet heat pool at your core.

“Long enough.” You responded quietly. His eyes widen, but not for long. His whole stance changes, his jaw set and his other hand goes to your waist. You felt you were on fire, like your flesh was going to burn up but the only one who could put it out was the Commander.

“Do you remember my moans? My pleas for release inside you?” His warm words washing over your face. This is the same man who barely flirted with you before and when he did, it was so awkward but cute. You took a deep breath, trying to remember to breathe.

“I remember that night. I just might regret that night for the rest of my days.” Your voice sounding husky even to your own ears. He tilted his head, clearly confused by your statement. You couldn’t help but smirk, you took a step closer to him. Your breasts pushed up against his chest plate, he couldn’t help but glance down.

“I regret not climbing that damn ladder and having you right then.” His eyes dangerous now, his grip almost bruising.

“What’s stopping you now y/n?” He asked. He leaned forward, nuzzling his nose into your cheek. To hear your name from his lips was a blessing, like the maker himself calling you by name from the void.

“Say my name again. Please...” you practically begged. His mouth now nibbling at your cheek, he moved to your earlobe.

“Y/N.” His warm breath fanning over your ear. He leaned down, letting his lips ghost over your neck.

“Y/N.” It felt like a prayer, he spoke your name with such gentleness and reverence. He placed a soft kiss against your collarbone, and was on his way to your cleavage. But the door to the war room opened and you sprang back from him like you had been burned. You pulled him toward a dark corner, covering his mouth with your hand. You heard Leliana and Josephine talking, you lowered your hand back to your side.

“I thought I heard the Inquisitor and Commander Cullen talking out here.” Leliana questioned. But their footsteps got softer and softer as the pair walked away. You let out a breath, looking back at Commander Cullen. He met your gaze, grinning softly.

“My chambers or yours?” He asked. You pulled him from the corner, smashing his lips to yours. His hands held tight to your waist, his kiss completely consuming you. You had to resist rutting your hips into his, at least not here. He bit your bottom lip, pushing his tongue inside your mouth. He explored, tasting you. You began to wonder what that tongue could do to your pussy, and that was it. It was like he could read your thoughts, he stopped kissing you.

“I wonder how sweet you really are, I can’t wait to find out.” His voice thick with lust. You felt your knees tremble, you had to leave now.

No time for stairs or people being nosy. You conjured a portal behind you, you stepped away from him, motioning to the portal.

“No more regrets. Okay?” You asked softly. He nodded, following you through the portal. You may have regrets about that night, but soon he would make you forget about them.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Happy bithday Keigo!

Keigo has every intention of spending his birthday alone.Yes its lonely and yes it sucks but he’s spent most of his life alone honestly.

His realationship with dabi isnt even a factor he considers. dabi probably has other things to do and keigo hasnt said its his birthday or anything.

so when he gets home and sees dabi already inside hes understandably upset. doubly so considering he has never given him a key.

“what are you doing here? how did you get in?”

“i broke in through the living room window.” dabi smirks and heads to the living room, presumably to demonstrate how exactly he broke into the apartment.

“like shatter the glass? how much dam-” as hawks rounds the corner dabi flips on a light.

“SUPRISE” the entire league of villians is in front of him.

“im so excited! birthday parties are lame!’ jin happily steps forward with a birthday hat for him to put on.

“happy birthday chicken.” Shigaraki smirks. Shigaraki with a birthday hat on is a experince hes never going to be able to unsee. the creepy hand is off.

“wai- what?”

“toga wanted everyone to wear birthday hats” magne smirks as she says it.

ah. toga wating everyone to wear hats explains it. no one in the league could tell her no.

everyone moves back a bit and hawks can see the coffee table covered in KFC.

“KFC? who told you guys it was my birthday? who told you my favorite food?”

Sako sets down a couple marbles that turn into paper cups and plates. some also turn into diffrent types of soda. still cold thanks to his quirk.

Spinner has just finished setting up a console to his large TV. Mario cart and Smash Bros are games in a folder labeled family that he opens. 

“Dabi did. He looked it up online. i thought you had told him and he just forgot and was scrambling to remember it” spinner handed him a controller.

“dabi wanted all of us to meet you anyways so we decided a birthday day party was the best time to do so, he talks about you a lot.” Sako explained and handed Keigo a plate full of food.

“dabi gets away with whatever he wants even more often than i do!” toga giggled and sat next to Keigo on the couch. dabi claimed the other side.

“they’re all exaggerating” dabi is looking down to hide his face but keigo can still the spots of color on his unmarked cheeks.

shigaraki picks up another controller and sits with a plate of food. “keep denying it i have proof.” shig waves a cellphone at dabi.

everyone bickers and eats greasy takeout from keigos favorite place.

when they all stop the game after eating, they start clearing the table.

kuroguri opens a small portal and pulls a bakery cake through it.

“i can assure you we’ve paid for the cake before you get concerned young takami.” kuroguri sets the dessert down and moves out of the way as dabi goes to light candles. the cake is amazing and keigo dosnt think he can remember a birthday that’s been this nice. he has cake a boyfriend friends videogames and tasty food. best birthday ever.

when its time to leave and everyone packs up sako and kuroguri go home first. after hugs and goodbyes from the rest of the league they all go through the warpgate.

"uhh you guys go on ahead, im planning on spending the night. tell kuro and sako not to wait up okay?” every unscared part of dabi’s face is bright red.

the rest of the leauge leave teasing dabi the entire time about how Keigo is going to get some. worth it to see keigos face when he comes back through the gate and kiss him.

“happy birtday kei, lets go to bed and i can give you your present.”

[dayasbun]

Fame - Angus Cloud (5)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5 {reading now}

-

You woke up to an empty bed and cold covers. With a sigh you sat up, wondering where Storm and Z had gone. Grabbing your phone, you shook your head as you read the messages on your home screen.

Babygirl Z <3: Yoooo so we dipped cuz Angus's weird-ass kinda threatened us to gtfo out cuz he wanted to spend time w you but don't tell him I told you that, I don't wanna deal w him

Lil storm!: i think the hood boy in love with you or sum- it's weird.

Angus ☁️: you free today? i got some plans for us so if you ain't you free now

Angus ☁️: i'm playin btw like if you ain't free i can change shit around

You giggled as you heard your nails click against the phone's screen as you sent responses.

-mhm i'll act like i never saw this...have a good day of filming gorgeous <3

-see storm, i highly disagree

-i'm free :) is this a date mr cloud? don’t forget we have filming today

You got up brushing your teeth and washing your face. You waited for Angus's response before picking an outfit for the day, and instead decided on making breakfast for now.

Babygirl Z <3: thanks lovely same to you!!!

Lil storm! laughed at your message

Angus ☁️: shittttt ion know maybe- n yeah ik

-i'm making breakfast, come over if you want

Angus ☁️: food?? i'm already on the way

-my trailer door is unlocked so just come in

A few minutes later you heard the heavy trailer door creak open. You flipped a pancake before turning around and facing the taller man in front of you. "Gooooood morning- you look so tired?"

"Damn, thanks Y/N you look great too!" Angus said sarcastically rolling his eyes.

"Boy, I'm kidding." You grinned wrapping your arms around his waist "How'd you sleep?"

"I slept ight, you? Any dream-"

"SHUTUP!"

"I was just checking damn, just checking!"

You let off the hug and walked back over to the stove turning off the burners. "Okay, done! Pancakes and eggs- and fruit! Can't beat that." You made both you and Angus a plate and sat them down on the small table.

You both ate with smiles on your faces, talking the whole time. You learned some more about Angus and his past, and he learned more about you and what you want your future to be like. You couldn't help but laugh when he spotted a carton of store-bought sugar cookies on your counter and insisted he eat at least five. You didn't deny his request, so he polished them off with the rest of his pancakes.

As soon as the breakfast came to a close, both of your phones dinged at the exact same time.

"That's strange," You said picking up the electrical device. You quickly unlocked it as your eyes scanned the screen, and when you finished you immediately looked up at Angus. From the look on his face, you could tell that he clearly had finished reading the message as well.

"So…" he said quietly.

"Yeah."

"Yep."

The text message wasn't too big of a deal, just a simple message from Mary of a suddenly new shooting schedule. You weren't worried until you reached the paragraph that made very clear that instead of shooting you and Angus's sex scenes next week, or possibly two weeks away, they would be shot tomorrow and for the rest of the week.

Shooting the scenes wasn't exactly the problem, it was the caliber of the scenes that you two would be shooting that was the problem. Also the fact- that though there isn't much talking during the sex scenes- you would have to memorize the lines of the new episode. Even though you and Angus were more comfortable with each other, sex scenes were not anything that you two were ready for, you guys hadn't even kissed yet, whether that was a real kiss, or a kiss practicing for the scene.

"I think we need practice."

"I agree."

"So uh..." He turned red as he picked at his nails.

You let out a sigh. "Okay so look. Basically, the scene just consists of me being naked, you being naked as well, but they're going to jimmy rig something so that obviously we aren't actually doing it. Mary told me in my message that I would have some type of pad over my you know what, and you would have some type of cup on."

"But-"

"I'm not done, wait. There are covers over us; so even though I have to give the effect of riding you, I'll just kind of be awkwardly rubbing my padded- you- know- what up against the cup."

"Okay, don't we make out before?"

"Yeah, we do." You stood up and rinsed off the plates. After placing them in the dishwasher, you turned back to your male co-star. "Okay, so it's about 11 AM right now. If we practice our lines, make out some, and I awkwardly ride you clothed in my bed, I think we should be fine..what about your plans?" You asked softly.

"It’s ight, they can wait. But there's another scene- where I smash you from the back. That's the part where I gotta show my cheeks man, damn I don't wanna show my cheeks!"

You laughed a bit "You'll be fine... tomorrow we'll be shooting probably just making out, then the next day the riding scene, and then the day after that more. And I know this seems kind of shitty, but if you read over other peoples paragraphs besides just ours, a lot of their sex scenes were moved up too, and some of the pairings are a bit weird and unexpected."

"Okay let's stop talking about it and just do it."

You nodded and silently walked into your small bedroom, sitting on the messy bed. You hadn't made it because, well you didn't exactly expect to have Angus in your bedroom, let alone to do this.

"So..."

You turned to look at him with a raised brow, "What?"

"So imma kiss you."

Why did that one sentence make your heart. Skip. So. Many. Fucking. Beats.

"Yeah well, that's what the script says right?"

He nodded and licked his lips. "Come get on my lap."

"Why? That's not in the-"

"It'll be more comfortable, especially if we doing this for a minute."

You took in a breath as you went over and straddled his lap, your legs around his waist, and your arms resting comfortably on his shoulders, wrapping around his neck.

You looked into his eyes, and god they were just gorgeous. "Angus.." You said softly.

"Yeah?"

And for .2 seconds you actually debated telling him- telling him that when you kissed him, you didn't want it just to be practice for the show. Telling him that you felt like you lived for the nights that he would facetime you and tell you dumbest shit that would just have you dead tired the next day. Telling him how much he made you laugh, and how it made you so unbearably happy every time you saw his name and knew it was the cause of your phone screen lighting up. Making sure he knew that the past 2 months of your life had gotten so much brighter just because of him.

You didn't though.

But if you had? He would've told you how he felt the exact same way. He would tell you how he loved how your eyes sparkle in the sunlight, how he loved how your nose scrunched up when you laughed. About how you were the only person who would listen to his dumb Mandela effects, even though he knew you didn't believe in all of them. And how it made him blush every time you sent him a mirror selfie on Snapchat for your streak- which he always lost.

But neither of you said anything.

Instead, you made out for a full 32 minutes with absolutely no passion, no lust, no nothing. Too scared to open up to the other due to the fear of rejection.

Until he got hard.

Again.

And that was your little 'ding!' to let you know yet again, 'he wants you.'

So your hips began to move {finally, after 32 minutes of dead nothingness} and you and Angus's lips began to fight for dominance. His hands moved from being awkwardly placed on your sides to under your shirt on your waist. Feeling his hands on your bare skin, you let out a soft moan into his mouth- which you could tell completely caught him off guard.

"Fuck you moaning for?" He teased, still not letting off of the kiss.

"For you."

He bit your lip causing you to moan yet again, your hips still bucking against his hard-on- holy fuck that felt a lot better than it should've. You grinned a bit as you felt his beard brush against your face.

"God. you're so hot."

'Oh my god' you thought, 'It's happening.'

"Baby, I have nothing on you." You replied seductively, sliding your hand down from his shoulder to his crotch.

"Fuck Jess..."

You grinned as he- wait what?

Jess- right, your characters name. Reel it in, you told yourself. This is just acting, nothing more. Just acting. Though you stayed into it, something about him calling you Jess turned you off a bit. After 10 more minutes or so you stopped, getting off of his lap and sitting on the side of him.

“Wel-”

“Yeah, that was good!” You quickly cut him off. “I definitely think our awkwardness has melted away a bit.”

“But don’t you wanna talk-” 

“We have some scenes to film at 1, its 12:30 right now so we should head to wardrobe.”

Angus looked at you with a confused expression on his face, but just nodded slowly and stood up following you out.

All you two had to film was the scene of you coming back, so it was a calm and chill collection of scenes to go through. Everything ran smoothly, and by the time you two were done around 9PM, you were as tired as could be.

“You're such a good fucking actress Y/N.” Angus complimented you as you two walked back to his trailer. He offered you to stay over for the night- just to sleep of course- and you couldn't reject the offer even if you wanted to- which you didn't want to. “Thank you,” you replied softly. “You’re quite talented as well.”

“Nah girl, I'm just being me.”

You two went into his warm trailer talking of filming the scenes, and how tired you both were. You both tried to avoid the topic of the scenes you had to film tomorrow and for the rest of the week; though you were supposedly ready, it was a strangely sore topic.

Soon showers were taken, clothes were changed, and all that was left to do was cuddle.

Angus flipped off the lights and then crawled into the bed with you. You moved closer to him, listening to his rapid heartbeat as you traced hearts on his chest. “Night Redhead.” you said softly, placing a kiss against his cheek.

“Goodnight Mamas.”

And as you lay next to him listening to his light snores, you thought about something. You thought about how though today had been so amazing, and finally, you felt as though the awkwardness had melted away… it was all acting.

Angus didn't like you; that's what you told yourself. Any man would get hard if an attractive woman was sitting on his lap, so that was self-explanatory. Any man would call you baby during a heated moment, any man would talk dirty to you in a heated moment. And a good man like Angus would always make you feel comfortable when you practiced for a scene- that's all he was doing, he wanted you to feel comfortable.

You couldn't be hurt about the situation, the whole point of doing any of that was just practicing for the scenes. And after all, Angus called you Jess, not Y/N.

But at the same time, a little part of you wouldn't stop screaming that you really really really wished he had said your name instead. A little part of you-

Your thoughts were interrupted by the soft glow of your phone lighting up along with a light vibration. A smile appeared on your face as you saw who the message was from.

Babygirl Z <3: GIRL

Babygirl Z <3: BABES ARE YOU UP??!

-yeah you okay? what's wrong?

Babygirl Z <3: shit I'm sorry but i have to tell you this

-what's wrong????? are you okay?

Babygirl Z <3: I'm fine but

-?????

Babygirl Z <3: fuck don't hate me ily okay this is for the best just remember that

-Z get to the point...

Babygirl Z <3: okay so...storm and i just did some digging and

-and?

Babygirl Z <3: and we think Angus got a girl back @ home

-

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins @patientplum @babygurlbarnes

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [So, the night before this friendmas, which is probably the next day from the nativity moment, like this is the first day of the holiday vibe] Janis: We're still on for their friendmas bullshit? Jimmy: can't 😭 off Janis: It's still worth it Janis: for the amount of damage that can be done in one sitting Jimmy: it were my 🥇💡 don't need telling Janis: Checking you were still up for it Janis: and we have to make the food to bring Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Helpful as that is, what do you want to make and where do you want to make it? Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: my grandparents Jimmy: nearer yours or mine? Janis: yours Janis: mine is near nothing Jimmy: come here then Janis: alright Janis: just trying to think of ways to sneak calories into shit without pouring butter onto a salad Jimmy: look up thanksgiving recipes, they're known for that bollocks Janis: okay Janis: and you'll be...? Jimmy: cleaning my kitchen, that alright with you? Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: My sister thinks Mia might invite her boyfriend Jimmy: 💰 on him not showing up Janis: What I said Janis: in case he does though Janis: she was useless with any other info Jimmy: 💔 her and this group chat Jimmy: not actually that bothered what Asia might wear Janis: 🙄 Janis: how much freedom is there with a fucking jumper Janis: she said they don't eat fuck all sustaining but no shit there, hence the plan Jimmy: [sends her a pic I saw of a real jumper that has the tit cut out and like a red reindeer nose over the person's nip or something I can't remember] Janis: Oh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: distract from the teeth but nah Jimmy: Dunno who's got her for the 🎁 giving but 🤞 for invisalign Janis: budget kit that ain't dentist-approved I saw on insta Janis: 🤞 it'll fuck her up harder Jimmy: all teeth to no teeth Janis: fit in with 💀👑 and 💀#2 Jimmy: mash 🥔 or 🍠 it is Janis: 🍠 is too vom-inducing as is Janis: hide 💊s in it like 👶🐶 Jimmy: is that marshmallow thing bollocks or what? Janis: nah, that's legit Janis: we could do that Janis: cultural Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: you can cover everyone's plates in gravy Janis: not a euphemism Janis: #northern Jimmy: I'd have a job if you were expecting the euphemism Janis: you're alright Janis: amusing, but suspicious when I'm not touching my plate Jimmy: very trusting of you to crack on with any of it as is Janis: I doubt they're wasting laxatives on me Janis: skinny enough Janis: it'll just be gross Jimmy: weren't where my 🧠 went but alright Janis: ? Janis: oh, very Agatha Christie Janis: not gonna kill themselves to kill me, I'll watch the plates and serving up Jimmy: nowt rich lasses won't monogram, theirs'll be safe and sound Janis: what about yours? Janis: you might get roofied Jimmy: take my chances downing the gravy, too northern for owt else, you said it Janis: that'll be nice Jimmy: 😍 obvs Janis: I meant for me when I inevitably have to 💋 you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: it's at #2s Janis: odds on a 👑 shrine somewhere? Jimmy: near her 🛏 Janis: under it when she's about Janis: in it when she ain't 💔 Jimmy: we don't have to sleep there in a bit, do we? Janis: oh bollocks Janis: I'm sure we can get out of it, as we technically were not invited Janis: pretty sure they do a sleepover too though Janis: any excuse Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I know Jimmy: I'm going down the shop, what bollocks do we need? Janis: [a list I'm not committing you to but we know the vibe] Janis: I've already got [shit we're stealing soz mcvickers] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: if you get here before I'm back, my sister'll let you in Janis: did she come to the nativity with yous? Jimmy: dragged kicking and marding, weren't that what I said? Janis: right Janis: apologies for doubting you Jimmy: tah Janis: what about the kid? Jimmy: what about him? Janis: where'd he end up on the scale Jimmy: we don't have a scale for him Janis: 😭 to 😁 Jimmy: near ☹️ Janis: no tears, at least Jimmy: can sign what we like without being those dickheads shouting out 🦻 perks Janis: that is useful Jimmy: and the 🐕's got somewhere new to sleep an' all Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: totally worth the money we didn't spend then Janis: can have these jumpers too after Jimmy: ain't yours itchy? Janis: feels like I'm wearing a barbershop floor Janis: but I didn't reckon your dog would be that fussy Jimmy: meant to be your specialist subject Janis: like ☕ is yours? Janis: not my passion, it's easy money Jimmy: there ain't much to know about ☕ don't need passion Janis: 🤫 Janis: you 💘 every bean Jimmy: it's only 💕 for your sister and her mates Janis: anything but getting a personality Janis: I know Jimmy: gotta put something in their bio Janis: 'IM AN EMPTY VESSEL' comes off desperate, even on tinder Jimmy: as 🤰 pact's go Janis: don't even Jimmy: very festive Janis: messiahs aren't being popped out 5 at a time Jimmy: they'd never be satisfied with 3 🎁s any road Jimmy: full baby shower or nowt Janis: yeah Janis: no doubt Grace will be torturing me with as much any time soon Jimmy: 🍾🍾🍾 Janis: 🔨🔨🔨 Jimmy: 👶👶👶👶👶 Janis: have to smash the poor bastards and all Janis: not worth thinking about Jimmy: ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ Janis: yeah funerals are much better craic Janis: have as many of them as she likes Jimmy: matching the shades of black'll do her head in Janis: 🤞 Janis: the breakdown will give her a personality Janis: got there in the end, babes Jimmy: @ me Jimmy: be on the edge of my seat waiting to find out Janis: if your details don't get lost when you change back to your real identity Jimmy: 💔 I can't be @ing you on the off chance, be coming off as desperate an' all, me Janis: doubt she'll be so bombastic herself she'll turn down a DM request Janis: have a go, like Janis: dare to 💭 Jimmy: just pop in using my 👻 form, can't I? Jimmy: keep it between us Janis: my lips are sealed Janis: how you use your afterlife is your business Jimmy: got nowt else on Janis: optimistic Janis: you might be moving to 🥳 central Jimmy: Go on, where's that? Janis: Ian in the know, not me Jimmy: dare to 💭 Janet Janis: I don't care where I end up Janis: just not here is fine Jimmy: weren't talking about you, big head Janis: Not too fussed where you end up either Janis: not gonna lie Jimmy: What did you bring it up for then? Janis: You're moving Janis: you said Jimmy: and? Jimmy: 🥳 central were what you said, not me Janis: I don't know what you're getting at Jimmy: if you're not bothered, what are you getting at? Jimmy: no need to 🗨 bollocks were something else you said Janis: I was just messing about, both statements Janis: I didn't know everything I 🗨 had to be deadly serious Jimmy: I didn't know there were 1 rule for you and another for me Janis: it's a bit different from you calling me a slag but fine Janis: you've made your point Jimmy: nah, the point were that I were never calling you a slag Janis: you were joking, okay Jimmy: but go on and take it to your ⚰ Janis: I'm trying to have a normal conversation with you right now and you're the one being moody Jimmy: you're the one who said we don't need to have a conversation Janis: well we clearly do when we have shit to do Jimmy: we've sorted the 🍽 Janis: right, so tell me to piss off then Jimmy: and have to piss about cooking on my own? You're alright Jimmy: nowt like the threat of a good time, that Janis: then what Jimmy: then come here Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [this won't be awkward at all] Janis: [the tension and the kids are home so that'll not be remotely getting dealt with] Jimmy: [cos I'm evil like that hahaha, we're gonna both be so extra at friendmas, love it] Janis: [it also makes sense like if school is out now where you gonna be hens, truly idk what you're gonna say though girl] Jimmy: [like you could've hooked up on the trampoline but you would probably freeze to death and also Twix wouldn't allow it soz lads] Janis: [not on my watch Twix says, at least you can focus on making this side dish the weirdest most calorific moment] Jimmy: [having fun in spite of yourselves as per] Janis: [I want you to apologize but also not but that is difficile hmm, probably later if you get vaguely tipsy at this event] Jimmy: [and get swept away by the emoshness of fake gifting] Janis: [we know there will be plenty of time for moments abound then] Jimmy: [you'll be bored rigid otherwise] Janis: [mhmm and this is far from over hunnies] Jimmy: [whatever you do don't let Twix eat that while you're shamelessly distracted acting like it's all nbd] Janis: [or the kids lmao lowkey gotta hide this monstrosity when you're done] Jimmy: [hide it when you go 🚬 boy because we're stressed by the fact that whenever we try to have fun rn we then remember she said it was a mistake] Janis: [oh this misunderstanding, 'cos we only said it 'cos we thought that's what he was saying basically, lordy, also hate being left in his house like excuse me do I go now or] Jimmy: [what a time to wish you weren't alive] Janis: [coming out 'cos fuck just waiting or leaving, 'is there anything else we need to do?'] Jimmy: [automatically passes her a  🚬 because that bitch] Janis: [takes it like true, can't hurt] Jimmy: ['what time's the last bus?' cos he's assuming she's going home and that she's probably missed it] Janis: [shakes head 'I'll stay at my grandparents, no need to go home now'] Jimmy: [a look around like alright where's that because the ankle is still a thing and we're still worried about it] Janis: [a genuine oh-you kinda smile 'cos honestly 'literally a couple of streets from here, actually] Jimmy: [nods like okay, we'll go when you're ready cos obvs he's walking her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't need an early night for friendmas, do we' like excuse you, I might have plans] Jimmy: [shrugs 'bit of a ball ache to get the chains of the bed and bring 'em with'] Janis: [😏'you could have a night off'] Jimmy: [makes a point of putting her leg on him to rest and elevate that ankle like no I cannot] Janis: [just looks at it and sighs 'I can't not walk, there's shit to do'] Jimmy: [just looks at her and you know they haven't made eye contact this whole time SO THERE'S THAT 'I know it hurts' in a soft way] Janis: [we gotta look away 'cos byeeeeee, shrugging and mumbling like 'it was just a stupid accident, I'm fine'] Jimmy: [nudging her, not hard obvs like 1. look at me and 2. don't be shrugging at me rn and shaking his head 'a stupid accident that were my fault' like LET ME HELP YOU!!] Janis: [shaking her head for all the reasons and then blurting out 'I'm embarrassed!' then being even more so like ffs] Jimmy: [cupping her little face in his hands the gentlest EVER 'what for?' because she literally has nothing to be embarrassed about] Janis: [looking at him like where do I start lol 'cos this has been so fast and so messy, not to mention the fact you now wanna kiss him and that's one of the things you think you need to be embarrassed over 'I don't need help, that's not- I'm not used to that'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' spoken like it'll be true if he just says it soft and with enough feeling, but then obvs we gotta recover ourselves a bit because vulnerability who is she 'I only were offering to take all them dogs out for a piss for you, not a kidney' but we're still not giving it full pisstake in how we're saying that or being] Janis: [pushing him but gently too, because likewise trying to get back to this more pisstakey energy without going too hard too fast 'not my fault you're like top nurse without even trying then' 'cos you're doing and have done way more than that, we know boy] Jimmy: [lowkey 😳 but we're hiding it with 😏 and the wintery darkness as we nudge her back but turn it into a feelsy lean for a while then giving her his phone like put that dog walking schedule in there girl I mean it] Janis: ['I ain't gonna be able to take your CG shifts, like' and mimes murdering all the customers in various ways but we do lean back too, even if momentarily 'you could meet me for the ones you can and do the hard work, and I'll sit on the bench, yeah?' and puts hand out like deal?] Jimmy: [does a 💔 mime because we would love to see that murder spree but obvs shaking on that legit suggestion with a legit little smile cos we're chuffed she's actually accepting a hand in any way] Janis: ['I can do more hard work with the plan' like all the socials whilst I sit there honey and mimes taking creep shots of him] Jimmy: [OTT 😍 to hide the realness, then he remembers that speaking of, he obvs won't have done a doodle for her today so gesture for her to stay put while we run and get a pen and paper right now immediately but as we're going we turn back like oh! again 'do you want the bag  peas chucked back for a bit?'] Janis: [going to shake our head automatically but then checking ourself like oop 'might freeze to my skin out here, like' shrugs 'but go ahead'] Jimmy: [does bring a blanket with all the other shit because we just wanna be out here away from kids and dogs soz] Janis: [day #1 of this hol and we're done lmao, little kids do be feral when it's this close to xmas, even good ones like bobby] Jimmy: [yeah and don't even start me on how all the pressure for having a good christmas is on him because Ian isn't that bitch and Cass is highkey hoping their mum will appear even though they've moved and that ain't happening babe soz] Janis: [mHMM thank god Ian is a buy your love type so he will get them presents, it's just the rest] Jimmy: [what are you doodling today boy, obvs some kind of domestic af cooking moment but no #spoilers gals] Janis: [just get snuggled in these blankets and make sure he is too] Jimmy: [can't and won't stop the happy sigh because we've been so stressed] Janis: [some joke about art being his 💘 but we're glad obvs] Jimmy: [🙄 but 😏] Janis: [tryna peep at what he is drawing though, obvs x2] Jimmy: [will playfully get you with this pen like oi] Janis: [offended like where's my pen 'play fair' accidentally saucy] Jimmy: [we know he'll give you that pen and just write on you/tickle you in his fave manner, drawing a 🏆 like we're playing to win not fairly hen] Janis: [just loling like get off 'cos ticklish af 'we're meant to be a team, dickhead' and draws her own 🏆 with 'worst sport' in the plaque thing] Jimmy: [draws the JJ 💘 really big and deliberate to really tickle and also make a point like okay] Janis: [a question mark when we've stopped squirming like do you really get it though, also a throwback] Jimmy: [a LOOK like do you] Janis: [just nods and gives the pen back like okay, finish your drawing] Jimmy: [does and again signs it like a big nerd before giving it to her] Janis: [we love it hun but we never know what to say 'tah for not giving away the poison plot in your art like an idiot' and putting it away to photo later in an indoor light moment] Jimmy: [a noise like not an amateur tah and going to make tea because 1.northern 2. it's cold 3. he doesn't know what to say/is awks about his art too] Janis: you're in the wrong profession Jimmy: ? Janis: 1. artiste 2. only old ladies order pots of tea, yeah? Jimmy: 1. why be starving when there's loads of 🍪🥐🥪🍰 going at the job I've got 2. bit sexist to the 👴 Janis: 1. 🐷 2. tell me they ain't always with their 👵 Jimmy: 1. Only 💕🐕's you, I get it 💔🦝🗑 2. sounds fake, so obvs I'll 🗨 it to you, mate Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: miss you an' all Janis: You could see me from there if you really wanted Jimmy: [peeps from the kitchen window like hey] Janis: [waving like oh hey you fool] Jimmy: [signs something feelsy because she won't understand it we're safe] Janis: [big ? in the air} Jimmy: [just loling like nope as we mime confusion like idk what you mean or want rn soz because we're taking that to our grave] Janis: [shouting 'bring me my fucking tea' manners and decorum] Jimmy: [does and a box of some kind of festive biscuit selection that the children have already got at so there's only shit ones left lowkey but still] Janis: ['you know how to treat a girl' when we're saying it like we're joking but not really lmao] Jimmy: [shove a biscuit in your mouth boy so you don't say anything you wish you hadn't and also because we're making a bants point like yeah so romantic me] Janis: [wipe the crumbs from his bottom lip like he did 'oi, I've had an idea' softer than that oi suggests, we're not shouting now lol] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her lips once she's touched his like is that your idea, focus please sir 'go on'] Janis: [failing to pretend we didn't notice that but still carry on tah 'well #2 and every fucker on her street is gonna have excessive lights and decorations about, what do you reckon to shrinking their energy bill? if we go out when they're asleep, they'll not notice, and we could get back here and do your house before your brother and sister wake up' like how magical even you will love it don't lie cass] Jimmy: [when you can't help genuinely grinning because that's such a good idea we're falling in love rn okay like he's gonna have felt so bad about not having the time, money or energy to decorate, gotta recover ourselves again quick so does an IRL 🤞 'all her pink glittery baubles'll really get Ian in the christmas spirit' but really we're not thinking about him and it'll look epic Janis: [grin back 'cos it's infectious ''cos no way am I sleeping in a room with that lot in' and shrug like, we may as well, as if you remotely had to suggest anything of the sort] Jimmy: ['give us nightmares if all them calories don't' never miss a opportunity to shade the flatwhites honey] Janis: ['I can protect you from them, but not the calories, I'm so sorry' 😏] Jimmy: [eats another biscuit like I reckon I'll live] Janis: [an impression of a Mia shade face like you fat bitch] Jimmy: [an impression of Ella being 😭💔 DEVASTATED] Janis: [snatching the tin like no more for you, and getting one all smug like delicious] Jimmy: [OTT Jimothy pout because always] Janis: [flippant 'deal with it, babes' 'cos mustn't linger LOOKING at him again] Jimmy: [cringing in a way that is OTT but not that fake because she's too good at these impressions and chucking the blanket over her head like begone] Janis: [had enough years of this hoe being present to be an expert, just pulling the blanket down and around our shoulders like ha ha more for me, but gesturing that he should move closer and get under to keep warm too] Jimmy: [does because any excuse to snuggle and likewise play with her hair like it's so in my way rn lemme just] Janis: [hence I got you the present I did honey heheheh, know we're likewise here for this] Jimmy: [just having a moment ™] Janis: [one of the kids should need you or Twix should start wildin' soz boys] Jimmy: [yeah realistically it could be time for Bobby to go to bed depending what time she came over/he could have woken up] Janis: [either way honey, you better skeddale so he can sort this] Jimmy: [we know you're both fuming but especially him because he was gonna carry you to mcvickers gaff] Janis: [soz boy, you can be the most tomorrow though] Jimmy: [we both know he will LOL] Jimmy: [also gonna say he opens up at the CG because putting in a quick shift and doing any dog walking he can for the bae all before this friendmas has even started is just the difference between him and the gals, with the exception of Grace] Janis: [wig tea sis] Jimmy: [tired before you even get there] Janis: [we are that sick of y'all so it's a mood, frankly, but for now] Janis: night Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you better be hopping back, dickhead Janis: [video of her hopping like don't fall] Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🦩 goals if nowt else Janis: 🤔 not not a compliment Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the first bit were Janis: True Janis: pretend I didn't see the rest Jimmy: 🙈🙈🙈 Janis: I've learnt my lesson with blindfolds, tah Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: and here's me with no chance to find out if sir's gonna be more receptive to my kinks Janis: find out if he's alright with broken bones Janis: gonna say unlikely, he flipped his shit over some cut ties Jimmy: @ something about virgin school girls Janis: mhmm Janis: he'd much rather injure you than the other way 'round Janis: it's alright, maybe tomorrow Janis: don't need to be blinded by the decor tbh Jimmy: should've got you a onesie to zip over your head, up for that challenge, massive though it is Janis: oh yeah, the gimp range Janis: 🙄 Janis: you have to pretend to be pleased to see my beautiful face, remember Jimmy: tah for the reminder, would've forgot and done full Home Alone 😱 Janis: yeah, you're about as annoying as that little fucker Janis: tracks Jimmy: rude Jimmy: you'd be chuffed if I had his house Janis: what for? Janis: so I could get you tenants and take the cash? Jimmy: 'cause what's fake mine is fake yours Jimmy: and you must have a bigger 🧠 in that MASSIVE head than the robbers he had to see off Janis: if I was worried about that, I'd let Mia make the moves she wants to Jimmy: so ominous, that Janis: 💋 not 💀 Jimmy: I'd rather 💀💀💀 Jimmy: but you crack on Janis: that's why I said IF I gave a fuck Jimmy: if as massive as her 😍 for her daddy, I get it Janis: thank god it's at Ella's Janis: wouldn't be getting away from hers unmolested Jimmy: can't move for mistletoe, I bet Janis: Baby, it's cold outside Janis: 😈 Jimmy: What IS in that drink? 😏 Janis: me checking yours tomorrow so they don't do my job for me Jimmy: Bill's 👻'll only let us have owt off each other's lips, it'll take fucking ages to 💀💀💀 Janis: you're just an actor on his stage and a player in his 🌍 Janis: have to suck it up and deal with the torture Jimmy: 👍 Janis: No enthusiasm needed 'til tomorrow Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: don't need an early night, you said Janis: your brother seemed like he did though Janis: not trying to get in the way of that top brother 🏆 Jimmy: 🍪 sugar crash did him before us Janis: fair Janis: feeling it and all Janis: still buzzing though Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 😵 🥴 🤢 🤮 scale Janis: I'm solidly 🥴 Jimmy: lightweight Janis: I don't work in a cafe Jimmy: and what? Janis: 🍪🥐🥪🍰 Jimmy: never pull your weight, you Janis: just 'cos you eat yours in baked goods Janis: one of us has to be 💪 Jimmy: hang on, who's been carrying who? Janis: I would carry you Janis: you monopolized it by crippling me Jimmy: convenient excuse that Janis: okay, you aren't 💀👑 daddy don't try it Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: rudest bollocks you've ever said to me Jimmy: how dare you TBH Janis: come back when you've got your law degree and fathered a demon Janis: then we'll talk Jimmy: I'll chuck 'em both at your window, Juliet 📜👶 Janis: 😍 Janis: just don't break it Janis: my window, that is Jimmy: any 👶 of mine's gonna be a right fat bastard, nowt I can do about that, soz Janis: soft landing Janis: all's well that ends well Jimmy: do what you like with the broken glass, so crafty, you Janis: depends if you're gonna come in Janis: obviously Jimmy: it's how it's written Janis: ? Jimmy: I get your attention, you give me it Jimmy: hang your head out or Bill will be fuming Janis: unfortunately there ain't no pool under my window Janis: but that's probably not an original feature of the play Janis: just an excuse to see Leo all bedraggled Jimmy: get him wet to do the same for all the lasses 👀🍿 Janis: poetic Jimmy: IKR Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: Shame it's not festive or I'd suggest it Jimmy: fucking hell, if they're gonna force us to watch Elf, sod the plan, I'll 💀💀💀 myself Jimmy: another poem for you Janis: 1. hot 2. I refuse, think it's gotta be illegal to force us to watch it, it's in the geneva convention, yeah? I'll ask daddy Jimmy: @ him Janis: @litigationandtitilation Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she helped him come up with it Jimmy: DUH, nowt they don't do together Janis: 💕 Janis: dead jealous Jimmy: me an' all Janis: we'll all get to bond over our daddy issues Janis: can't wait Jimmy: #realgoals Janis: obviously Janis: I ain't got them any gifts, have you? Jimmy: I'm working, I'll bring 'em a latte Jimmy: menu full of 🎄 bollocks they ain't bothered to work through yet Janis: how disappointing they'll literally be thrilled Janis: too 😍 to handle, you Jimmy: you gonna meet me there or what? Janis: 🤔 Janis: probably the most #goals if we arrive together Janis: and fuck knows how far they can see from her tower Janis: I could come to your work Janis: pick you and the lattes up 💪🏆 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: just lemme know when you're finishing up then Jimmy: I'll make you something that ain't poisoned Janis: that a threat? Jimmy: more #goals to call it a romantic gesture Janis: 'course Jimmy: get your head in the game, girl Janis: it is Janis: just working out if there's any ways we can fuck it up before even arriving Jimmy: what, like get 💀👑 hopes up and then piss on them even harder? Janis: yeah, like that Janis: or get all the rest on our side, somehow Janis: that'd fuck her off no end Jimmy: so go on, what would it take? Jimmy: other than 💀#2 there's no challenge in it Jimmy: piss easy it were to get Asia to invite us Janis: you're probably more of an expert than me then Janis: like, we've got to make it actually a decent time, the kinda party they wanna have Janis: instead of what 📸s well Janis: and what Mia allows Janis: but we can't just fully steamroll in and be blatant about it Janis: or 💀👑 & 💀#2 would pull ranks Jimmy: what kind of party do they wanna have? Janis: they never look like they're having fun Janis: they're dead in the eyes Janis: even if it ain't my exact idea of, sure we can come up with better, right? Jimmy: easy when we put our massive heads together Janis: Asia is the easiest, we could basically ask her and she'd tell us without clocking Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: Grace were #livingherbestlife when she punched you with a beauty blender, I'll let her 💄💅 me if it pushes 💀👑 off the scale Janis: I'm sure that's just pent-up anger issues Janis: but maybe you've messed up her order one too many times 🔪🔪 Jimmy: deliberately Jimmy: my only joy, that Janis: 😂 Janis: might have a tiny bit of respect for you now Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: pretend to be her boyfriend for a change and you can do one of those tag videos Jimmy: you're alright, my CV'll survive without that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: fair Janis: don't need the rumours Jimmy: if she wants footage, WE'LL get her some, as a team, dickhead Janis: she will be 📽 Janis: so alright Jimmy: always ready for a close up, me Jimmy: and you do alright keeping up an' all Janis: wait 'til I ain't hopping, like Jimmy: that's her, what does the big one want? Janis: you haven't 👀 her about doing this weird dances? Jimmy: steady on, she WEREN'T having seizures? Janis: yeah, I know Janis: it's shocking Jimmy: you'll fuck your other ankle, I ain't having that Janis: you volunteer then? Jimmy: there's gotta be something else they do on that app Janis: are you interested in miming the lyrics to a shitty dance song? Jimmy: POV: your 👻 fake boyfriend Janis: you can go for that oscar Janis: I hope she doesn't try to be funny, or if she does, then I need to watch all her content rn Janis: welcome for the view Jimmy: might win 💀👑 over with the one where I play her dad Janis: 💀💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: or better yet 💀#2 when I have a go at 💀👑 Janis: the plan isn't you seduce everyone Janis: friends not 💦💦 boy Jimmy: it's a fucked plan then Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you're that insatiable or irresistible? Jimmy: I'll be that itchy Jimmy: jumper's coming off any road Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😍 Janis: I'll bring it tomorrow, babe Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: put your tits away Janis: honestly Jimmy: SO jealous, you Janis: Ha Janis: SO original, you Jimmy: your tits can have 🥈 Joanne, nowt wrong with them or that Janis: Piss off Janis: 💀👑 tell you it don't count if it's just fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMFG! 😱😱😱 Jimmy: should've said you wanted to get her hopes up with a fake breakup Janis: would be well triggering, no doubt Janis: only talk to argue, her lot, you can tell Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: gonna have to 💀💀💀 myself now Jimmy: been nice fake knowing you, my dear Janis: oh no you don't Janis: not being a fake widow Janis: can't pretend to be that 💔💔💔 for the rest of my life Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your 💔😭🎻 Jimmy: can't have owt in common with that lot for a day in my life, tah Janis: I'll feel sorry for you when you're fucking twins with one of them Jimmy: So you want my pity? Don't sound like you but alright Janis: nah, just won't be giving you no 🤗 and 😘 Jimmy: What then? What's my 🎁? Janis: 🕞👀 Jimmy: Come on, I'll fake the surprise Janis: don't get too excited Janis: I haven't nicked you no 💎 Jimmy: bit rude but that's probably my fault for not sitting on your lap and telling you what I want Janis: not too late Janis: see what her ma has lying about Janis: but yeah, if you'd have been more prepared, maybe I woulda been too Jimmy: just the odd 💍👑💼💰 or 🐴 nbd Janis: you're demanding now but you've missed your chance Janis: gutted Jimmy: not too late, you said Janis: you might get A 💎 Janis: can't do the full list now Jimmy: [pouty face 🥺 selfie, we're coming for your life Savannah, soz] Janis: what's in it for me if you ain't gonna sit on my lap? 🎅 Jimmy: never said I wouldn't Janis: 🔊 is cheap Janis: 🐴 are expensive Jimmy: what were it you said, tomorrow, babe Jimmy: giving someone a bell to install a pool or a balcony as I 🗨'd expensive an' all Janis: I've got patience to 🕞👀 Jimmy: good Jimmy: we're just that starcrossed, girl, nowt to be done about it Janis: or lots to do Janis: depending on your point of view Jimmy: lots of 🕞👀 'cause that's your #kink Janis: must be Jimmy: and mine's doing owt for you 💕 Janis: what more could I ask for Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: what more do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You can surprise me Jimmy: alright Janis: is it? Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: alright, alright Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: it'll be good Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: [picture to prove you are at mcvickers] Jimmy: [a picture back of Bobby and Twix snoozing all over you] Janis: looks cozy Jimmy: *uncomfortable Jimmy: speaking of, I'll bring you the 👑 back tomorrow, you can chuck it on instead of a cracker hat Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 there's no one sleeping in my bed Janis: 💡💡 Jimmy: 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: sounds like a party in theory Jimmy: 🔑's [wherever there is a key hidden] if you need to come back Janis: be even weirder for your poor brother if I got in his whilst you're all 🥳 Jimmy: not like he'll hear you come in Jimmy: you or the 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: don't tell him that as his next bedtime story Janis: should be good though, but cheers Jimmy: 👍 Janis: though it's tempting as it's the furthest you've wanted to let me walk in ages Jimmy: want's pushing it Jimmy: but I've seen your top 🦩 impression now Janis: I get it Janis: you wanna see it more Janis: well attractive Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: 🎪🤹🤡 you Jimmy: dead chuffed to see your trapeze next Janis: suppose freak can be a compliment Janis: in the right context Jimmy: [puts it in the right context for a pisstakey 🔥 sext] Janis: yeah Janis: like that Janis: 🥇 asshole Jimmy: 🥉 more like Janis: why's that Jimmy: a 🥇 dickhead ain't that easy to ✔ off as a dickhead Janis: you wanted 😳 Janis: it's not not happening but I don't need to admit it Jimmy: if I wanted 😳 I'd get it Jimmy: with no need for you to admit owt Janis: alright then Janis: take your 🥉 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: time for bed then, dickhead Jimmy: as a piss off goes, I've heard worse Janis: I've done better Janis: but it must be the sugar crash Jimmy: I can do better with compliments an' all Janis: so you say Jimmy: and 🖋 Janis: I'm not doubting your fake boyf ability Jimmy: that weren't what I said Janis: or your 🎨 Jimmy: weren't bringing that up either Janis: come on Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: it's mutual Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you heard, I can do better, nowt to be 🤯 or do a 🥁 for Janis: You can't tell me what to do or not to do either way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm trying to do Janis: that's good then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I know you have a dog and a kid kicking you right now Janis: but you really need the beauty sleep Jimmy: rude Janis: you're ruder Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you're just Janis: I don't know Janis: but worse than me Janis: sure of that Jimmy: I were just trying to be less of a twat right then Janis: 😂 Janis: you just confuse me Janis: you aren't like 😡 🤬 rude right now Jimmy: it ain't my fault you can't take a compliment or apology attempt, dickhead Janis: I tried to take a compliment and you said it barely was one Janis: that's what I mean Janis: you're just weird and it's SO rude that you're letting Mia be right, tbh Jimmy: 'cause it weren't Jimmy: a pisstake's a pisstake, a compliment's a compliment Janis: then where have you tried to say sorry or anything not a pisstake Jimmy: what the fuck else does I can do better mean? Janis: Alright, God Janis: don't act like I'm thick Janis: you ain't speaking English Jimmy: bit racist Jimmy: this ain't even a voice memo Janis: yeah, you're well oppressed Jimmy: tah for recognising it, mate Janis: annoying, that's the word I was looking for Jimmy: funny'll do for you, oh hang on, nah Jimmy: meant to go the other way there Janis: yeah the sign of a proper jokes person is cracking yourself up Janis: 👌 babes Jimmy: piss off to bed, babes Janis: don't be jealous of all the space I've got Janis: gonna proper stretch out Jimmy: like I said, well unfunny you Janis: you can't escape when he's proper asleep? Jimmy: to where? Janis: your bed? Janis: his, if that is where you are Jimmy: his is a little kid bed, not stretching out in there Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: You poor thing Janis: bunk bed sharing would almost be preferable Jimmy: yeah Janis: at least your brother don't vape Jimmy: #ultimatesilverlining Janis: ☀ Jimmy: tah Jimmy: proper cheered now Janis: have only got a single here Janis: not living that luxurious Jimmy: and a 🐻 bear either side, you'll be fucked when the 3rd one comes through after having a piss Janis: better off taking my chances in the park? Janis: still time for that as well Jimmy: never nursed a dickhead with hypothermia before, decent way to pad out my CV Janis: 😒 Janis: yeah, go on Janis: just a neverending case study, me Jimmy: 🥇 muse in every way Janis: real or pisstake Jimmy: reckon I'd be able to 👀 you from here, could be a real inspiration Janis: you probably could anyway, nearly Janis: live pretty close but not giving any more away Janis: gotta keep the privacy and mystery, like Jimmy: brb gotta start a new 📷 IG Jimmy: @longlens Janis: 😂 Janis: if I've got a stalker I'm definitely 🥇 Janis: #madeit Jimmy: you do now Jimmy: 👋👀 Janis: get in Janis: mum'll be so proud Jimmy: got nowt else to do but crack on looking in windows til I find yours, mine'll chuffed to bits an' all Janis: Bill's 👻 will be Janis: unless you get distracted by some other random, then he'll be raging Jimmy: it's his script, I'd just be sticking to it Janis: that's going off script Janis: the other girl is before Janis: don't just get the wrong balcony and change your mind Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: it's Bill's 👻 not me Janis: he don't like improv Jimmy: harder to please than Lucas, him Janis: I'm doing alright 😇 Jimmy: he reckons your tits are 🥇 no accounting for taste Janis: nothing wrong with 🥈 Jimmy: when it's around your neck Janis: the view helps, yeah Janis: #toptits Jimmy: 😏 Janis: not your fault I'm exactly his type Janis: don't feel bad Jimmy: we can both wear the white 👰 but it don't make us exactly his type Jimmy: he'd be the one to call you a slag Janis: you have defiled me Janis: told you that's why he's so pissed off Jimmy: you gonna take an apology for that then? Janis: be a bit weird if you apologized Janis: was the plan Janis: just unfortunate collateral, him Jimmy: it weren't actually Janis: 'course it was Janis: nothing #goals about celibacy Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: was just a joke Janis: I don't need an apology Jimmy: don't you? Janis: no Janis: why do you think I do? Jimmy: why have I got it in your own words loads of times that you reckon it shouldn't have happened if you don't? Janis: No, I only meant it like Janis: it's made things awkward now, is why we shouldn't have Janis: not in a, I didn't want to at the time way Janis: it's not like you did anything wrong Jimmy: and what, it weren't awkward for you before? Janis: What, like I've got loads of past experience with how to navigate a fake dating scenario? Jimmy: exactly my point Jimmy: it were weird as soon as I suggested it Janis: granted Janis: it's just weirder now you don't want to but we still have to fake shit Janis: if we'd not gone there, that wouldn't factor into the overall headfuckery Jimmy: I don't want to what? Janis: not fake it Janis: sometimes, like Jimmy: we've not talked about what I do or don't want Jimmy: so that's bollocks for a start Janis: it ain't Janis: I can read a room Jimmy: so can I, don't be putting it all on me like I fucked it Janis: I weren't but you clearly are so cheers for that Jimmy: you said me, I ain't speaking for you Janis: I haven't said you've fucked anything up Jimmy: I've made it weirder is what you said Janis: no, it IS weirder Janis: 'cos of decisions we both made Jimmy: that's a cop out Jimmy: I can also read between the lines and that's you reckoning the decisions you're making now are right and mine are bollocks Janis: all I'm trying to do is not be a massive twat here Janis: it's not right or wrong Janis: I can't help if I still wanna but I'm not gonna whinge about it like some nice guy or something as lame Jimmy: nicely done then Janis: fine Janis: fuck this Jimmy: I don't get what your problem is Janis: what do you mean? Janis: how do you not get that I'm accepting what you want and dealing with it and you're just taking the piss Jimmy: I've never said I want that Janis: What? Jimmy: when or where have I? Janis: that you don't want me to just do what I want and not give a fuck about what you do? Janis: it's just a given that I won't be a total cunt like that, surely Jimmy: you heard me, you don't know what I want Jimmy: dunno why it's a given that you'd just guess Janis: then tell me Janis: why am I guessing Jimmy: you've got some bollocks 💭 in your head that's nowt to do with me or what I've 🗨 Jimmy: that'll be why Janis: tell me Jimmy: It didn't feel like a mistake to me Janis: that's the opposite of what I thought you thought Janis: alright Jimmy: you were being a massive twat, keep up, we've done that bit Janis: no, great Janis: actually got to go bludgeon myself with a big rock now Jimmy: don't Jimmy: it's a job to talk to you when you ain't brain damaged Janis: I'm serious Janis: and I'm sorry Janis: jesus fucking christ Jimmy: me an' all, dunno if it's safe for you to go to this friendmas 'cause you obvs CAN'T read a room, sweetheart Jimmy: could be deadly serious, that Janis: I know I deserve it but please shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: why haven't you done anything about it then Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: if you can read a room, allegedly Janis: works both ways right Jimmy: you said it shouldn't have happened, how else would you like me to read into that? Jimmy: a mistake is what I heard Janis: I said that when you called me a slag Jimmy: but I didn't Jimmy: and what works both ways an' all is that you haven't done owt since then either Janis: yeah, because from my point of view, you called me easy, I made you apologize for it and then you ain't come near me since Janis: I'm not killing myself for no reason Janis: you've never said bullshit when you're fuming? Jimmy: I ain't the baby Jesus Jimmy: 'course I have Jimmy: and will do again, might be to you Janis: There you go then Janis: I said it was a mistake 'cos it sounded like you reckoned as much Janis: we may as well be on the same page Janis: didn't want to be that twat but that worked out well Jimmy: it just Jimmy: touched a nerve, alright Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: clearly so did the easy thing so not gonna judge Jimmy: our lives are headfucks, that's why we need this to make it easier Janis: that was meant to be the idea Janis: we just need to Janis: replan Janis: maybe? Jimmy: we just need to talk to each other Janis: easier said than done Janis: but yeah Janis: not wrong Jimmy: if I have to spell it out and stick my CAPS on, I can do Jimmy: I work in customer service, like Janis: that's lovely Janis: really wanna be compared to one of your customers Jimmy: hey, you know you're way too fit and mysterious Janis: barely at this point Janis: I've come across as a total fucking state Jimmy: Oi, we can do this ☀ girl Janis: I'm up for listening Janis: and I won't infer the rest, that much is a deal Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🩸🖋 Jimmy: We going to the park then or what? Janis: we don't have to speak when we get there, do we? Jimmy: bit rude you ain't gonna recite a sonnet to me, Jules, but I'll live Janis: maybe another night Janis: but I'm still pretty fucking mortified right now so you gotta promise Jimmy: we're doing alright if you're promising me another night Jimmy: and I'm clearly on fine form for giving you more accidental poetry so Janis: shame to waste it? Janis: I guess you can but don't expect me to because I'm better when I keep it shut Jimmy: you're Janis: don't finish that before I've had the chance to change your mind Jimmy: as promises go, I reckon I can keep that one Janis: and I can promise it'll be worth it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: before you stop saying owt to me Janis: I promise Janis: that you're gonna have even more to say about me and even less idea how to say it Jimmy: I Jimmy: there, you're managing to stop me going on already Janis: I don't mind when you go on Janis: just not what I want right now Jimmy: time and a place to be on script, I get it Janis: exactly Janis: and you've gotta be off the clock sometimes Jimmy: @ my manager in a bit Jimmy: just not right now Janis: not invited Jimmy: and you can't hop and @ Janis: don't challenge me Jimmy: nursing kink ain't gonna go away when your ankle stops being the size of your head Jimmy: gotta plan ahead Janis: you could just look after me Janis: I'll fake whatever injury you fancy Jimmy: how many oscars you after? Janis: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: get a hop on then Janis: Am Janis: not trying to get caught mid-hop though so 🤫 Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: you could just tell me where you are and have a hand, I ain't allowed to be the one who 💀💀💀 you Janis: I could Janis: was mainly arsed about getting caught in the gaff but still Janis: be quicker Janis: [location] Jimmy: if I get there and there ain't no nan or granddad I'll chuck you the log ins for the stalker account Janis: like I've made 'em up Janis: and I've broke into a house just to be close-by? Janis: I don't reckon I'm that dedicated Jimmy: dunno about that, all I know is I could spit and you'd be hopping on a wet foot Janis: 🤤 would've been more romantic, Romeo Jimmy: Oi, I deliberately didn't say piss to be more romantic Janis: erm, talk to me!!! 😤😤😤 Janis: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: alright fine, I'll piss on the side of the house you're squatting in, stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: good luck Janis: it's freezing Jimmy: sounds like some weird ⛄ challenge, I'd better film it for Tammy's tiktok Janis: SO thoughtful, babe Janis: just giving her that clout for free Jimmy: just that kind of dickhead, me Janis: I'll @ you in my glowing review later Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [show up boy it's really not far] Jimmy: which window am I climbing up to with a 🌹 in my 🦷🦷 Janis: you mean, which bit of pavement am I gonna be scraping you off of when you slip to your 💀💀💀 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: your nan'll love the 💕 if you don't bother directing me Janis: I'll remember to pick up your 🦷🦷 and all Janis: [but flashing the light of the room you in like sup] Jimmy: wrap 'em up for Asia and it's job done on winning them all over Jimmy: [get your bae Jimothy] Janis: 💕🎁 Jimmy: [please don't actually die lol] Janis: [at least there is a genuine ladder up lmao, just don't wake the child or mcvickers] Jimmy: [now isn't the time for you to recite shakespeare, another time nerd] Janis: [you gotta be quiet, which is why we're not staying 'cos we know the vibe] Jimmy: [likewise why we're not going to his house either even though it's cold af] Janis: [soz about it but not, you're young and you'll be warm af soon enough] Jimmy: [gotta do what you gotta do lads and the park has those good mems and the graffiti you did so] Janis: [enjoy ladies] Jimmy: [until you have to go to work live your best life] Janis: [at least you have reconciled to totally boss this friendmas] Jimmy: [soz I ruined the tension but it would've been hard to concentrate on ruining Mia's life with that hanging over you] Janis: [we go with the flow honey] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to friendmas if you want unless you wanna have a CG work moment] Janis: [like you could but you probably shouldn't sleep out here again all night so yes, we could do a little CG moment] Jimmy: [gotta go there for the first time at some point, get that off menu smoothie and some food that's actually vaguely edible] Janis: [have cute moments, even though we know none of the flatwhites will be there] Jimmy: [we can post them to annoy Mia before we even get there because we all know Pablo isn't coming] Janis: [try one of calebs other kids hen, might be easier to use] Jimmy: [teach the bae how to do festive latte art they'll be jealous af and the manager is never there either] Janis: [do have some funny latte art pics, along with whatever we invariably actually bring yous] Jimmy: [#fated] Janis: [I kinda want you to go out and get them something pisstakey but I really cannot think what] Jimmy: [it would be funny, hmm what could we do?] Janis: [some kind of game/drinking game/or forbidden food vibe, actual fun Mia would not be happy about is the point] Jimmy: [things should totally get said during these games that they have for more blackmail potential to add to her cheating on the school trip] Jimmy: [I'm just debating whether Asia should have a bf who comes like we did at that sleepover that time or if we wanna save that for another time] Janis: [spill that tea ladies, we all know it don't take much for you to turn on each other so] Janis: [and I vote no, I think, plenty of opportunities to do that later though] Jimmy: [fair, Mia probably is hoping Asia'll seduce Jimothy so can't have a bf in the way] Janis: [and it's just BFF goals vibes, like you aren't allowed boys because they aren't important, soz Asia you hoe] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [can't let lads know how weird you all are] Jimmy: [the scolding tea] Janis: [pretending to be normal is for real xmas with your fams hens] Jimmy: [I don't need to be thinking about you gals at christmas thanks] Janis: [teenage xmas is the worst tbh] Jimmy: [agreed] Jimmy: [do you think there's any decorations they could steal out of the CG or are they too hipstery?] Janis: [I think we could probably get decent indoor ones from there, steal a lil tree moment] Jimmy: [do it while the flatwhites aren't there because Mia and Ella are snitches and he don't need to get fired this close to christmas] Janis: [do it at the start of your shift and hide it, who's noticing this close to xmas, no hoe except them so stay away] Jimmy: [we need this christmas cheer excuse us] Janis: [kids would do it anyway or they'd get broke, get a life gals] Jimmy: [we're trying to save christmas for Bobby here so bye] Janis: [it'll be magical and we're stealing your lights bitch bye] Jimmy: [Ella doesn't need them, not sorry] Janis: [also, not related but meet Pete too] Jimmy: [not in a way that makes him 😒 and jealous though we've only just reconciled] Janis: [my boo says give me my fluff] Jimmy: [defs gonna draw JJ and Twix tangled up in christmas lights for today's doodle once they've decorated so there's my fluff] Janis: [that's cute af get it boy] Janis: [we can go through lowkey and then stop whenever we wanna fully do something, so, should we be one of the first to get there or last what's the vibe] Jimmy: [I think first like it's just Mia and obvs Ella cos it's her house LOL there because they'd hate that and I said Grace was late, it makes sense Hollie would be too because she's even more done with them] Janis: [that's a mood, oh gals, how welcome are you gonna make them feel] Jimmy: [can't even do the gift exchange until everyone gets here, how awkward, good thing Jimothy will shamelessly request a house tour] Janis: [the casual side-eye you're gonna have to hold in, like lemme pretend to be so uninterested in your house which is undeniably big without coming off as salty] Jimmy: [he'll carry you through this gaff gal, nothing will annoy Ella and Mia more than when you're more into each other and being coupley af than the rich gal flexes in every room] Janis: [at least we can play up how bad the ankle is again, get me ice ho] Jimmy: [Ella never did get any sympathy she'll be fuming, play up that nursing conveniently like when you get to Ella's room like oops gotta just rest here for a bit soz] Janis: [just regaling how much he's looked after you like that bitch] Jimmy: [as he fusses over you, god bless, we're literally gonna do all we can to make Mia storm out and back downstairs haha] Janis: [ergo asking where Pablo is, like oh, thought he'd be here] Jimmy: [Jimothy is so amused he's gonna hide his face in the bae] Janis: [just lowkey ignoring her to be subtly all over him when she rants about the importance of gal time or whatever like mhmm interesting] Jimmy: [literally why wasn't he banned if that's true hun, hence he'll be even more unsubtly all over her until we're genuinely ignoring the gals] Janis: [we all know it's one rule for you and another for them but that didn't pan out lololol, awkward when you'd wanna watch for an uncomfortable amount of time Mia, make Asia show please so you can't] Jimmy: [go answer the door to her so they can have a moment but also snoop through Ella's shit thank you] Janis: [just like where it the shrine honey] Jimmy: [shame it's so far in the future that she wouldn't have a paper diary for them to find, unless like they used to have those kid ones and Ella kept hers because the golden age of this friendship obvs] Janis: [imagine how 1. gay it'd be 2. all the goss on them all, have a read of that lads] Jimmy: [take 📷 because you'll never know when you might need them] Janis: [get that relevant tea 'was her sister the donkey?' 'cos Asia is here and we remembering] Jimmy: [a little lol as we forlornly shake our head because she sadly was not and they missed a trick 'Mary' because why not 'makes sense why Joseph was having none of her' just calling a child ugly here nbd] Janis: [makes a face like she's so appalled like oh no 'your brother's year must be a real bunch of uggos' 'cos we're on the same wavelength here] Jimmy: ['not saying the director's onto something but as top casting for a homeless virgin who looks like she's had her head shut in a door goes..' trailing off with a shrug like we haven't just dragged a little girl to within an inch of her life] Janis: [violently shushing him as they come up, as if Asia would ever clock it, god bless, but then it just looks like you've got an amazing in joke 'cos it's like omg babe] Jimmy: [love that cos we've gotta actually be nice to Asia as she's the first person here you can actually get on your side, so use your barista charm boy] Janis: [compliment her jumper or something girl, can't let him do everything Jimmy: [and take some selfies with her that you can easily but subtly exclude the other 2 from cos 3's already a crowd huns] Janis: [love that, and Asia should have a boyf that she wanna talk about 'cos then you can actually let her gal and she'll be buzzing] Jimmy: [yassssss encourage her in all the ways those 2 don't and won't ever] Janis: [at least you can pretend you're throwing 😍 at him when really it's pained looks lmao] Jimmy: [and we can talk about the nativity and younger sibling christmas bs because those 2 bitchy only children could never] Janis: [mhmm, hopefully you love your sisters more than just accessories gal] Jimmy: [there's no way to know but JJ are slaying this so well done lads] Janis: [honestly need some kind of award 'cos it can't be overstated how hard Mia & Ella would be trying to bitch you both out] Jimmy: [hence I'm like is there anything else you can do while it's just shameless stealing Asia tactics before the others get here because we know it's not hard to get those two on side] Janis: [Hmm, what's a stupid bitch want what's a stupid bitch need] Janis: [you'll want your latte before they go cold tbf] Jimmy: [I hope he's brought like some christmas ugly jumper biscuits from the CG because getting her hyped up on sugar will only make her more annoying] Janis: [she's basically a child, just let her live in the ways they don't tbh and she'll be thrilled] Jimmy: [literally talking to her about what she wants for christmas like she is a child LOL] Janis: [try not to cackle, but we are 1000% getting on his lap to make a sneaky point like easy 🎅} Jimmy: [never have to fake how into that we are and it's a great segue to tell her all the #goals shit we've been up to and all the festive coupley plans we have] Janis: [when you truly have like it sounds like so much, y'all will be jealous] Jimmy: [as if you aren't fuming enough by how touchy feely and loved up they are before they've even said a word] Janis: [trying to separate them but also don't want their help with anything, we see you] Jimmy: [at least when JJ have had enough they can go 🚬 and on a christmas lights scouting mission because it's #goals to go have a wander and look at lights and it gets dark early af so you can] Janis: [that is goals, don't lie, you probably need to get through dinner first my loves, just be overly helpful with the food prep so you can lowkey fuck it up and they'll be raging] Jimmy: [Grace will be buzzing when she gets there cos not only is Pablo not but she's the only one who has gifts for jj out of these gals] Janis: [thank god he ain't there, we would simply throw hands lmao, lord knows shit nan and the extra ex will be making an appearance soon] Jimmy: [Grace would have straight up walked in and straight back out again if he was and you know it Mia so good luck chatting shit about friendship then] Janis: [get to getting this starter everyone try not to actively vom at the table] Jimmy: [at least that would taste nice cos it's literally brie and cranberry and walnuts and honey so you're welcome everyone] Janis: [looking at y'all 💀💀 why do I feel like JJ need to go to the toilets immediately after like you two cannot, the shade of it all] Jimmy: [LOVE that] Janis: [sure you have more than 2 but we know what's being said huns] Jimmy: [the point has been made] Janis: 😈💩🤮❌ Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: oh no, is this the group chat? Janis: sorry Jimmy: *😱😱😱 Jimmy: if it were Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 of 'em Jimmy: soz, you're dead right, babe Janis: though I don't think the big one is doing it right Janis: awks Jimmy: she'll be getting her bollocking now Janis: poor cow Janis: if I were to cast her in a nativity Janis: but I'm just seeing what meds they've got Jimmy: @Helena Janis: ugh, I wish Janis: what back problems is this flat-chested 💀 gonna have Jimmy: you're alright though, yeah? Janis: of course I am Janis: just potential dirt Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you alright? Jimmy: nowt wrong with my 🦶 Jimmy: might end up with back problems of my own if you ain't 💩🤮 in there but Helena'll sort it Janis: fuck off Janis: negging me, dickhead Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted there weren't no 🦒 at the birth of Jesus Jimmy: no need to take it out on me Janis: only elves in the christmas story, so you're no better off Jimmy: your 👂 kink is blatant, Jennifer Janis: psh Jimmy: not gonna stick that 💎 you owe me in mine if that's the best comeback you've got Janis: you're very annoying, I'm pretending to 💩🤮 Jimmy: no 👂's pressed against the door, putting you off? Janis: you tell me Janis: can I perform without an audience? Jimmy: we've not done 💩🤮 Janis: #kinkstillonlock Jimmy: [another pisstakey 🥺 selfie because gotta kill time in this bathroom somehow] Janis: do you reckon that's 💀#2 thing? Janis: 💀👑 is obviously killing people slowly Jimmy: bit weird you having that in common Janis: oh no Janis: have to speed it up Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: come here? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [have a little makeout moment because we're swagging this and deserve it Jimmy: [pick her up and sit her on the sink so she doesn't have to stand up and because it's a #mood] Janis: [so shook that we gasping but in a good way, like] Jimmy: [you can have a noise back gal because we're into it] Janis: [IRL 🥺 'cos we have to go back, even if we're purposefully taking ages here] Jimmy: [just doing the MOST to make her forget that we have to go back because we don't want to either] Janis: [at least there's a perfect excuse to be loud and extra so you can go 'til you get caught and someone is like excuse me get out lol] Jimmy: [the joys] Janis: [will definitely be Ella or Asia] Jimmy: [we know Mia sent you whichever one it is, probably Ella cos it's her house so she can be that bitch] Janis: [I mean, at least we didn't break your sink hun] Jimmy: [or fuck in your bed which we easily could have] Janis: [nights still young but yeah count your blessings xoxo anyway, the main meal, we probably know the vibe?] Jimmy: [you know Mia and Ella were in charge of that bit cos clearly giving Hollie pudding to call her a fat bitch and not trusting Asia with basically anything so it's not gonna be 🥇] Janis: [it's gonna be so bland with like low-fat everything and ew] Jimmy: [gonna have to start a cute little flirty food fight moment like Tony and Effy had, skins we see you and your incesty energy, when they made those faces then that spoon got flicked etc, so you don't have to eat this] Janis: [their energy was so strange lol, like they did go out so it probably didn't help but we see you, also doing a fake like you're going to eat it and you're trying to be polite but it's so gross soz we cannot] Jimmy: [everyone be pushing that food hardcore around their plates,, can't even do a feeding each other romantic moment because it's too grim] Janis: [like ladies, you can't binge and go to town for one day, not when the others can see, we get it] Jimmy: [save the day with whatever pudding you've brought Hollie thank you] Janis: [bitches be ravenous, at least we eat at the CG] Jimmy: [jimothy got your back gal, can and will eat again when you're decorating too so] Janis: [and it's time for presents] Jimmy: [I literally can't stress enough how happy and shook he's gonna be because feelsy gifts are not a thing in his life rn it's all on Bobby to make a cute card or whatever so his thank you hug will be very genuine and emosh and he'll write 'you're' on her back for that throwback because we are speechless and a ! for emphasis] Janis: [when you're lowkey thinking he's faking most of that at least but then he writes on you so you know it's real so then you're smiley af, enjoy that guys, you can't even shade 'cos it's personal and shit he wants and what do any of y'all know about that, and writing 'you' back] Jimmy: [the gals can't be shading anyway because they'll too busy DYING when he puts this necklace on her because it's intimate af, gotta gently move that hair out of the way, kiss the back of her neck in a soft way, the whole 9] Janis: [just fully ignoring them all and it ain't even fake, gotta be SO grateful excuse us] Jimmy: [we're in the moment and our feelings bitches] Janis: ['I can't even deal with you' talking more like them but where is the lie] Jimmy: [we gotta just kiss her because 1. what are words even fake words 2. you know exactly how to deal with me cos we're 🥇] Janis: [just ignore the 😒😒😒😒😒 you're getting for AGES then be like oh, please, open your presents] Jimmy: [just being couple goals casually in the background while the gals pretend to care about each other's gifts] Janis: [I live] Jimmy: [highlight of the day tbh] Janis: [you know they wrapping up and putting that shite film on so fast honey, like oh yeah, give them an excuse to cuddle under a blanket] Jimmy: [literally Mia is this close to kicking all of y'all out and it ain't even her house] Janis: [it's so funny how easy it is to piss y'all off, do have to remember to keep the rest vaguely on side though] Jimmy: [you've done well lads and we all know none of the gals actually wanna watch this film they probably do the same one every year, just on their phones super bored] Janis: [you gotta lowkey suggest you play a game instead like come on this is BOOOOOOOORING] Jimmy: [he's a boy he's allowed to hate rom coms so it's easily done] Janis: [you two 💀 can protest but clearly we're over it so you outnumbered even if Asia was like I don't mind or whatever] Jimmy: [get that tea, especially if it's a drinking game because they are all lightweights] Janis: [we know this could get passive-aggressive fast lol] Jimmy: [it will blatantly which is how we can bring this friendmas to an end without it looking like JJ's fault] Janis: [hohaha just like this is awkward gals] Jimmy: [run away and look at aka steal some lights lads, your work here is done] Janis: [you can go decorate his now and make the kids day] Jimmy: [though we might have to kill some time and do it when they're asleep because I doubt we were at Ella's that late] Janis: [true hen, we know we killed this party before tea time honestly lol] Jimmy: [walk some dogs together first of all] Janis: [get that cash babies] Jimmy: [they should come back and eat some actually nice christmassy snacks and watch a christmas film that doesn't suck and play a game with Bobby that doesn't end in murder like this is how easy it is to do better than you gals] Janis: [yes, 'cos 1. real 2. all they'd have to do was a couple of pics and everyone would know the flatwhites was a flop] Jimmy: [exactly and she hasn't met Bobby yet so I thought that'd be a nice chill way to do it cos not trying to make it a thing™] Janis: [yes, this is true, rip to not seeing your marvellous sheep performance hen] Jimmy: [and he can talk about wanting to see Santa to put that idea in jj's heads] Janis: [easy] Janis: Oi Janis: use your elf connections Jimmy: 🎅 or nowt, me Jimmy: [takes off that ugly christmas jumper in a pisstakey way like I've got the body for it] Janis: [😏 and pats his tummy like yeah] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna put a cushion up his top but then chucks it at her head] Janis: [whispers the obscenities behind Bobby's head] Jimmy: [signs something at her which is obvs 6 year old level insults to make Bobby lol and join in] Janis: [just getting dragged, fake cry so Twix comes to support you gal] Jimmy: [we'll teach you gal it's always useful] Janis: [love that] Jimmy: [at least if Cass comes back we can bribe her into walking some dogs for us because don't need the 😒 when we've just escaped the flatwhites] Janis: [at least you'll get some spends gal, because that age you can't even get your own job so it's pocket money purely] Jimmy: [win her over as well lads nicely done] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪 us Janis: I'll be waiting for my card, like Jimmy: 🐾 an' all Janis: awh Janis: you don't need to sign it Janis: got the doodles Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: I ain't forgot I owe you one Janis: 🕥 Janis: gonna be THAT bitch 🙄 Jimmy: nowt more #goals than nagging a lad to 💀💀💀 babes Janis: except that friendmas, AM I RIGHT Jimmy: [IRL LOL because] Janis: [😏] Janis: kinda sad how easy that was Jimmy: [a shrug because we see them all the damn time at the CG we knew how easy it'd be] Jimmy: alright, I'll give you a challenge, girl, stop begging Janis: just saying Janis: BFFs it ain't Jimmy: and you'd never know from the group chat Janis: yeah Janis: the performance they put on would be almost impressive if it weren't tragic 'cos no one cares Jimmy: [chucks her some gingerbread house kit like there's your challenge babe because they always suck and never stick together and taste gross 'make that look goals and you'll impress me']] Janis: [obviously we're gonna do it 'cos can't turn a challenge, also roping Bobby into helping by letting him eat some of the sweets which are the only nice part of tbh, just LOOKing at him like 'why would I need to do that?' like is it don't care to or is it already have, we know] Janis: *down Jimmy: [Twix not helping but getting involved god bless her, we're giving her a LOOK back because always will hen 'might just be worth it' cos remember when she made that promise before they went to the park last night, he does] Janis: [God loves a trier Twix, lowkey feeding one of the gingerbread people to her and doing mini screams of terror as it gets its head chomped off lol, then having to hide our 😳s 'cos of course it will be and of course we do] Jimmy: [just watching this and falling in love nbd] Janis: [when you've inadvertently done them a solid there 'cos there's usually a mummy and a daddy and then 2 kids so like, fuck you Ian we're just making Jimmy and Cass and Bobby and there's no awkwardness over missing mum] Jimmy: [I didn't even think of that goodbye] Janis: [like thank you girl for swerving that lmao, also putting the shades on him and holding it up like eh, eh?!] Janis: likeness is uncanny Jimmy: Oi, where's my 🚬? Janis: there's nothing festive about throat cancer Jimmy: Dickens 👻'd disagree Jimmy: he's 💔 it got cut in the edit Janis: there's still time for your manager to show up with a goose Janis: and if you get me some crutches, you won't have to do so much heavy lifting Jimmy: more of a 🐷 you but we'll crack on regardless Janis: you're so rude Janis: if I WAS Miss Piggy, I'd kick you down right now Jimmy: one good trotter an' all 💕 Janis: it's important I keep you under it Janis: Kermit is the ultimate cuck Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: 💀👑 can't even get a text back Janis: she's the rat Jimmy: keep it between us 💀#2 is gonna be gutted they ain't ⛓ together Janis: for all eternity Janis: being judgy af Jimmy: her only kink unlocked Janis: there's fuck all 🧠 or 💪 energy left to have any other passion Janis: it's 💀👑 and nothing else and that's the way they 💕 it Jimmy: [sends her his fave gayest pages of the diary like LOL cos they only had time to skim read at the time] Janis: [trying not to actually lol out loud 'cos still doing this house and watching this film] Janis: imagine 💬 that and not faking it Jimmy: [nudges her because we wanna hear that lol soz if we knock you when you're building] Jimmy: imagine 💭 that BEFORE you were 🧠 dead Janis: [a face like HOW DARE, don't sabotage me, boy but we grinning] Janis: maybe she was WELL lovely before my sister started hanging about Janis: she will do that to you, like Jimmy: [😘 like ILY babe I would NEVER] Jimmy: Puberty'll do that when you wanna fuck your daddy an' all Jimmy: not to snatch away your 🏆 or owt, Gracie Janis: [dangling gingerbread him over her tea like I'll do it, bitch, try me] Janis: she's used to it Janis: 🏅 participation Jimmy: [a look like do it because death wish 5ever] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [acting like we really considering it, before putting him back and getting to work on a frosting Twix 'cos tah for being the right colour and texture lowkey lol] Janis: death march more appropriate after today Jimmy: kill bill siren sound Janis: love to take a samurai sword to 'em                               ��                                                                                         ' Janis: 💔 my christmas ruined Jimmy: more 🏆 than them tiktoks with the 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 Janis: but not more 🏆 than this gaff Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: yeah, reserve your judgment 'til I'm finished Jimmy: til we're finished, dickhead Janis: I will have to do the high ones though Jimmy: [another playful nudge like piss off and the gingerbread house wall will be falling] Janis: [lowkey pissed off haha not majorly but attacking him with this frosting like STAPH] Jimmy: [playfight because always] Janis: [being like, Bobby, please protect the castle, I'mma fight off this monster real quick] Jimmy: [that sweet boy gonna take his job so seriously god bless] Janis: [as are we you're going down jimothy] Jimmy: [until we use distracting tactics like picking up the pendant part of that necklace like oh hey remember this and how much you love me] Janis: [looking at Bobby like you have to play fair when there's other people about] Jimmy: [draws a 🏆 on whatever bare skin there is, obvs taking our time to be flirty af cos we're always playing to win honey] Janis: [at least you don't have to worry about calling him a dickhead right now 'cos we must lest we say anything else] Jimmy: [likewise can say 'you' back and not worry about how his voice shamelessly sounds, ah deaf brother perks] Janis: [write 'later' on him 'cos we can promise that] Jimmy: [just as well because Cass can't be out walking dogs forever and she will charge in all snowy and cold like make me a cuppa bitch and obvs Jimothy will] Janis: [and she would not be happy at this scene because grumpy tween life, so focus you two] Janis: you know how I like it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [jimothy just shouting through like a fussy dad @ Cass like if you want a warm shower or bath go after this cos I'mma be starting Bobby's bedtime routine soon] Janis: [probs not at all mortified you did that in front of Janis, nice one boy] Jimmy: [she hates him so much during this time period I lol Janis: [poor boy, you're doing you're best, we all are] Janis: [at least you can clear away this gingerbread carnage] Jimmy: [join him in the kitchen gal but not in the flirty way he hoped would be happening a bit ago] Janis: [just subtly helping without being asked always, love that for yous] Jimmy: [she's so caring in a way that he is not used to at all, it kills me] Janis: [just coming up behind him in a fake-out trying to scare you but not actually way 'you want me to clear out of here for a bit?' like, come back later when they're asleep vibes] Jimmy: [just saying no before he can stop himself and then it's like well now I wanna die] Janis: [just nodding like okay, 'cos not gonna make a big deal even though that was obviously a speedy reply] Jimmy: [doing his own nod towards the window like the weather is the reason we don't want her to go even though we know now how close mcvickers gaff is and that she'd be fine] Janis: ['I'm fine with staying cosy' and takes half the teas in] Jimmy: [shit like this is why we're falling in love with you gal] Janis: [like we are gonna feel slightly awkward whilst he's sorting his siblings but we know the drill from our own back in the day so we can deal] Jimmy: [we'll be sending Cass upstairs for her long bath like my boo used to have because being a tween is the worst okay, good thing Ian isn't here for how long she'll be in there and the music blasting but we're gonna be stuck with Bobert for a while cos he won't wanna go to bed] Janis: [when you partying, live your dreams babe, can't fight you, put on a slightly more chill xmas movie maybe, like idk, polar express or something, he'll fall asleep eventually] Jimmy: [Twix and Bobby falling asleep between you on this sofa like an adorable cockblock] Janis: [just looking over at him like, mission accomplished] Jimmy: [taking them upstairs to bed when it's safe to without waking them, the bae can take a snoozy Twix for you, nodding at Bobby's bed like told you I wouldn't be able to stretch out on that] Janis: [mimes measuring the bed and him like hmm, idk] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the room] Janis: [at least you can take your chance to push him back and have a kiss in this corridor] Jimmy: [glad Cass' music will cover up how loud Jimothy is because of how badly he's wanted to kiss her for what would feel like an age] Janis: [you'll be so glad you didn't hear that, gal, well done, just like 'some santa' though 'cos where is your sneakiness] Jimmy: [looking at the necklace and back to her like excuse you I'm a great santa] Janis: [looking down and then touching it 'it's not totally shit, actually' obvs we were 😍 earlier but that was in front of the gals] Jimmy: [a shrug like it's all so casual and we don't give a fuck either 'did the job' because obvs it was all about impressing the gals and not her] Janis: ['glad I don't have to bin it' 'cos we actually like it and it's not basic just because we had to do a #goals gift moment] Jimmy: ['weren't where I got it out of' because we clearly did buy this there's no way you could've stolen it feasibly as it's jewellery] Janis: [raising a brow, 'you don't want it back, do you?' like are you saying it's too expensive or something] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'my tits'll never pass for yours' like I can't take #goals pics for the gram pretending I'm you so there's no point] Janis: [turns like good, 'cos I'm not giving it back, good day] Jimmy: [go put these decorations up and Jimothy will play the I saw mummy kissing Santa song to make the point like he ain't sneaky either so] Janis: ['that's because it's the dad, not the real santa, dickhead' like get ur facts straight hun] Jimmy: ['never said I were the real santa, Janet' like I'm just good at it like I am at everything thank you] Janis: [mime a 💔 and also a 🤫 'you are tonight'] Jimmy: ['sounds like I'll be going to see him in a bit' cos Bobby wants to, an unimpressed face like lucky me 'don't reckon he'll be fuming about the roleplay though, we're alright'] Janis: [😍 like LUCKY YOU 'there's one in [a place I've not looked up but I'm sure exists lol] that's meant to be pretty good'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out and has a look before giving her an IRL 👍 like a nerd because it looks decent enough] Janis: [bows like ya welcome] Jimmy: ['you coming?' cos she didn't do the nativity and the reason that would've looked #goals is the same here] Janis: [is thinking 'can I bring someone?'] Jimmy: [is a bit like whomst but nods because yeah obvs you can] Janis: ['alright then' like not gonna elaborate lol ok] Jimmy: [says it back and we're cracking on with these decorations] Janis: [get it gals, make it look magical] Jimmy: [at least his house isn't huge so it won't take you forever] Janis: [though it is a house so don't die doing an outside moment, make it work, like] Jimmy: [#teamwork but do take a break when you are outside to piss about with the snow even though there isn't loads you can still chuck it at each other and then get each other with your cold hands] Janis: [no more park for you gals, looking in the general direction of thinking as much] Jimmy: [looking where she's looking and thinking the same things, it was nice while it lasted lads, when he REALLY wants to tell her to stay here but we already embarrassed ourselves in the kitchen being like DON'T GO so we can't say anything] Janis: [at least this will keep you busy for a while, before you have no obvious reason to stay] Jimmy: [could feasibly take hours because it takes ages just to do a tree sometimes] Janis: [mhmm honey bunny, this is still gonna be awks though, at least you can say that you wanna bring your niece and work out those logistics like are we going tomorrow orrr 'cos not long now sweaty] Jimmy: [we probably are realistically, ew I hate to imagine how busy it would be] Janis: [my boo say disgusting lmao, at least you can make this goodbye more natural now like gotta get up for that hens, just being like, hope Bobby loves the decs 'cos we do] Jimmy: [gotta be in the morning so he can work in the afternoon because busy time and we need that cash honey, the greatest and best hug goodbye because it's been such a feelsy day] Janis: [trying not to linger and failing lowkey, we see y'all] Jimmy: [will offer to walk you home as if you haven't just been putting decs up with that ankle, we know you just are trying to keep this going] Janis: [do we reckon it's too late for public transport, like you don't wanna go home and you are just gonna come back tomorrow, soz mcvickers showing up again] Jimmy: [mcvickers are used to it and she needs Libi early that's our excuse] Janis: [let him walk you back then gal] Jimmy: [🚬 break during this walk back because there wouldn't have been enough of those today] Janis: [chance to breathe hens, you been busy, ruining lives, making days] Jimmy: [let it hit you boy how close christmas actually is] Janis: [we're all shook, like your mother must be hitting you up gal, what's the tea this year] Jimmy: [gonna ask her if she wants to go for breakfast tomorrow before this santa appointment because he wants Bobby to have a nice time, like we know we have to work a lot soz little man] Janis: ['as long as you aren't suggesting going in to work early' like you love your job SO much babe but obvs, we are down] Jimmy: [such an unamused noise and face because I can only imagine the hell that the CG is on the daily never mind at festive times] Janis: [😏 'cos we've literally been in ONCE at this point and we're like yeah, I know, y'all can go somewhere decent] Jimmy: [somewhere these bubs will love and think is so swag but you won't hate every second of] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like THANKS for today post friendmas but it's awkward so you just pull her back a little bit and then you're just there like -] Janis: [Dublin looks like there's loads of cool places in general so I have faith, doing the signature ?] Jimmy: [just looking at her like if you could read my mind rn that would be great] Janis: [so rude you cannot tbh, just pushing him gently like what though, like don't freak me out] Jimmy: ['tah for-' gestures back in the direction of his house 'our kid'll be chuffed to bits when he has a look'] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'won't pass it on to #2' 'cos lots of those decs were hers but fuck you gal 'take a pic if he looks cute' 'cos we blatantly wanna see his reaction but not gonna outright say that so we just pretending it could be #goals content] Jimmy: ['should work in a grotto or some bollocks next year, you' not even a pisstake because she's great with kids and swagged that but we'll pretend we are, nods and mimes that he'll record his 😱 reaction, again we probably will but we can pretend we're taking the piss out of Grace's vlogmas vibes] Janis: ['you're the elf' and a face like lord no, do your own 👍 and go inside bitch] Jimmy: ['yeah and I'll have a word' heart hands like love you gal] Janis: [blow a kiss like you're buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: [catch it as you watch her go boy]