#IM A SUSAN APOLOGISER

[bisexual-steveharrington]

If Susan has a million fans, then I'm one of them.

If Susan has one fan, then I’m THAT ONE.

If Susan has no fans, that means I'm dead.

[paperbaldi]

Messy sketches of Baldi and Susan bcuz uh yes I love them and I absolutely love drawing them (and Andrew ig)

[your-queer-dad]

Ok, there's this one lil comment my irl dad made when I came out as a tboy 3 months ago that keeps coming back to haunt me that I meed to get out my chest

My first come out (3 years ago) was as a lesbian, and was brushed off as me being too young and influenced by Susan and Carol from FRIENDS (they were how I found out, im the info actually clicked sense, about lesbians), the second (august last year) was as an agender lesbian, whuch was just straight up ignored. Now, I came out simply as a tboy, cause I think "ace, cupioro, panalterous/pan gay/gaybian/lesboy, trans boy" would bug my parents too much. But right after I came out as a tboy my dad mentioned "my future wife" while talking about my transition and T. And that bugs me cause this whole time I've been technically out as a lesbian all I heard was "your boyfriend", "your husband", "[something] a boy [something]". And it bugs me mostly because of heteronormativity but not only that. There's somthing else about it that rubs me the wrong way. Like, yeah, I do like girls the same way I do like any other gender, but why would he mention a gril only now? Now that he knows I'm a boy? I think partly it is because they have a queer=sex mindset, but I don't think it is just that. I only now am comfortable saying I like boys, mostly bacause the mere idea of me being straight feel wrong for me personally, so finding out I'm a boy helped me accept that I like other boys. But I don't know. This specific "your wife" rubbed me the wrong way. (My parents seem to think I should go unlabelled cause "what if", but fuck it, labels are like clothes, I like using them but I'll switch if they don't fit, so leave me alone with my ton of labels and microlabels, I love them)

Sorry for the rant. I never mentioned this to anyone mostly cause it's so small but it still bugs me. Thanks for listening. You really halped on the short while I've been here, dad. Thanks.

-Leo

Hey kiddo! That does sound really frustrating- like they accept you but only if you're straight, and I get why that would frustrate you! Please don't apologise for ranting, kiddo, that's what my inbox is there for! And you're always welcome to come rant anytime you need to!

I'm so proud of you kiddo, and if you ever need to rant I'm here to listen!

- dad x

[tismandrelativedimensionsinspace]

Here are my thoughts while watching Doctor Who Season 1: The Daleks: The Dead Planet!!

love the radiation meter going up to DANGEROUS as soon as they look away. comedy gold. great fucking start im hooked already

the "mist" is a weird filter lmao

"how fascinating! a petrified jungle!" fucking incredible

they're bitching about the Doctor behind his back. iconic.

CREATURE!!!

the creature is made of rock. whats the betting the plot twist is that its still alive (edit: it was not)

barbara is such a mood

THE DOCTORS STUPID BINOCULARS LMAOOO

i love them calling the TARDIS "the ship"

oh no susans getting left behind

someone grabbed her O_o

not susan being gaslit

THE TARDIS CAN MAKE FOOD?

THE TARDIS STILL MAKES THE EXACT SAME NOISE OMFG THATS BEAUTIFUL THEY HAVENT EVEN CHANGED IT AT ALL

i love the TARDIS operating like an actual vehicle. it breaks down and theres an actual Thing wrong with it he doesnt just hit it with a mallet lmao

has the doctor sabotaged the fucking ship so he can go to the city?? thats hilarious hes such a little shit

aww ian apologised to susan for not believing her ;-;

susan and the doctor are so cute. hes not feeling well so he sits on the floor and shes stroking his face

oh ffs Barbaras got stuck

PLUNGER JUMPSCARE

[terranceholdsapencil]

Okay I watched the devils chord now so some thoughts and moments under the cut

S14e03 "the devil's chord" doctor who spoilers

-knocking from inside a piano after someone played a tritone is actually the coolest fucking entrance

-"Henry, get away from him" "Them." "What" "Me." "What." "Im - them" "Youre who?" "YOure who"

-"But its SOOO SAAAAAD, TIMOTYYYY"

Half of this is actually just the way maestro says things it DOES something to me

-NEW DOCTOR WHO INTRO MUSIC VARIANT!!!

ANd its playing on the JUKEBOX

-"that. is. AMAZING!" "OH WAIT SERIOUSLY?" "OOUHH! PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THE TITANIC! OR MARS! OR BETLEHEM!! But the BEATLEEEEEEES! WhY have I never done thAt before?"

-the way theyre walking around the tardis after changing. California soul in the background. Im in love theyre having so much fun.

-"nineteen sixty thrEEHEHEHEY!"

-fun and humming conga line music on a zebra crossing. Im in LOVE

-"How do we get in? Wont they ask who we are?" "ngE"

-the way 15 and ruby giggle.

-"Ive got a dog and hes called fred"

-"You take John Lennon Ill take Paul McCartney"

-susan mentioned. One referenced. I miss them. Also susan is not dead. I dont care if she never turns up again. She is not dead because I said so.

-something about the way 15 leans on the wall and looks at the city while ruby plays

-the orchestra tuning in on her playing after a while. Maybe its cause Im so happy theres new doctor who but I got goosebumps

-the arpeggio giggle oh my god I LOVE IT

-the tuning fork??? Even ignoring the gorgeous outfit the TUNING FORK???

-at this point I wanted to look if there was a german dub (cause thats my native language). There wasnt. But there was a czech dub, and Im half czech. So I turned that on for a second. And let me tell you, Maestros voics in the czech dub?? Once again. I am IN LOVE.

-sincr when can the sonic just turn off sound

-the workaround with the water was actually great

-i couldnt take "i dont know, Ruby, that is the point, I dont. know." "BUT YOU ALWAYS KNOW-" "I DONT. " seriously cause ruby basically just met him. And literally just last ep he didnt know things. This moment doesnt hit because the first part doesnt ring true yet. I think thats my general problem?? I LOVE ruby and 15 but theyre so familiar and close and stuff but theyve known each other for a VERY SHORT real time, considering this ep supposedly comes directly after the last and the last literally starts directly after she entered the tardis.

-"i was born in 2004" that feels fake cause my best friend was born in 2004. Theres no way youre only 2 years older and youre a doctor who companion and Im just a sad dude

-i will be honest I was very much very disappointed by the fact we actually got to see the destroyed future. I totally expected she comes back in crying or something and we have to fill in the gap. Instead we see cgi broken london. BUT that allowed for maestros fucking iconic entrance with the shoe shot so I am not mad

-maestro being the toymakers child works surprisingly well thats lots of fun

-the way maestro lay on the piano? Iconic. Absolutely iconic. I love them. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Camp af. Fun. Pure. I-co-nic.

-more maestro saying things in the greatest fucking way possible:

-"Im going sOlO. :D"

THEIR FACIAL EXPRESSION??

-"A gEnius 💁"

-"I sAid gEniuSss. And you might be brIght. And hot. And... (dun-dun-dun) timey-wImey"

That totally got me I replayed this like 10 times instead of continueing to watch the ep. I can only repeat myself: In. Love.

-tardis with the lights out?? GORGEOUS. My eyes have been blessed. Beautiful. I love her so much shes my everything.

-"Im sorry im sorry *kiss kiss*. Dont hate me"

the way he apologises to her tardis and the doctor forever

-when they got out of the tardis he said something in a different language. The subtitles say its turkish. Does anyone know what he said?

-"I thought that was non-diegetic"

First: iconic that the score was actually heard in universe. Love it. Great idea. You totally get me with that.

Secondly: does that line imply the doctor always hears the score? Cause he said HE thought it was non-diegetic. Does he hear his own themes? Does it ruin emotional moments? If hes doing a speech does it distract him?

-"Playing love-sick sOngs for heartbroken lesbians, and thAt just makes me hungry for all those delicious songs"

-they had a music battle. They had a music battle with personified music and basically won. Not only that. Personified music actually said the words "mUsic bAttle". So stupid. Maybe I love it.

-no matter what I think of the idea of a music battle with personified music, the actual music battle was so much fun to watch. I loved it. Im gonna rewatch it.

-"Ive experienced everything"

No you havent thats the point. Im actually mad at that line. No he hasnt. The reason he travels is to find whatever he hasnt experienced yet. Literally JUST LAST EP he was completely baffled by the space babies and the bogeyman. This ep he was overwhelmed by the stolen music. He has experience ALOT, possibly more than anyone before him, but not everything. Never everything.

-honestly i think its rude to call this a beatles episode when they were basically not in it at all. Ian listened to the beatles back in classic who and they looked at a concert and the presence of the beatles in that episode is almost bigger to me than them in this ep.

-the musical number at the end. So stupid. So silly. I love it. Thats insane. But fun. But stupid. But fun. Also hello Henry Arbinger looking at the musical number

-was the rain during the musical number for real? Where'd it come from?? They were INSIDE. Was that just for the fun time? Because the snow in space babies was important.

-the zebra crossing making music. Im in love. I wanna. I want to dance on it too. So much fun. The stripes are even glowing.

[diagonalleyhq]

Susan bones faces? Sorry im trying to pick a charrie!

susan was golden trio era , but her aunt amelia bones is marauders era , and i'd love to see her , some fcs i could see are abigail cowen , natasha liu bordizzo , adeline rudolph , priscilla quintana , laura harrier , greta oniegou , aslihan malbora ! & please never apologise , answering asks like this is what i'm here for !

[relative-dimension]

“Five Hundred Eyes”

Season 1, episode 16 - 7th March 1964

[id: French orientalist Paul Pelliot examining a manuscript in the Library Cave of the Mogao Caves (the Caves of a Thousand Buddahs). He is sat on the floor, and around him are stacked many other manuscripts and books. /end id]

Okay, this review was going to be the part where I talked enthusiastically about the genuine attempt to depict Chinese culture in this serial, maybe talk about the lovely sets, and centre the entire discussion around Ping-Cho’s story in the middle of the episode. Fortunately, I decided to do some research around that story before writing it. You will see why I needed to do research and this may end up being a bit long and a bit of a rant but hey, I’m a history nerd and I don’t want to misrepresent anything, and I now have a lot of opinions about how John Lucarotti went about crafting a historical story. We’ll get there.

Is it an entertaining watch: 3/5, yeah, not much happens but I love the production and while watching it this was the point where I started to like this serial. Upon further research, I don’t any more.

Does the production hold up: 2/5, again, yellowface, but some of the sets in this serial are really nice, althought the Cave of Five Hundred Eyes itself really looks like shit from what I can tell.

Does it use its time well: 3/5, the first half drags a bit in a way that feels like it’s trying its hardest to move on, but by the middle it’s settled into a slow pace that feels deliberate, with time for Ping-Cho’s story (we get there when we GET there, I’m saying nice things at the moment) and the slow build-up of the threat at the end leading to the cliffhanger (more on that side of the story tomorrow).

Are the characters consistent and well-used: 4/5, yeah, they all get something to do, and there’s at least one fun or interesting scene for each of them. I saw some reviewers complain that Ian giving out fun facts about etymology

Is there anything actually going on under the surface: 1/5, as will become apparent, I suddenly don’t have much faith that John Lucarotti put any thought at all into this serial, and just wanted to put to screen as many things that Marco Polo said happened as possible.

Does it avoid being a bit dodge with its politics: 1/5, ah, and now we get to the good stuff. And by that I mean that bad stuff. I’m gonna have to actually organise this into paragraphs to properly explain what I mean.

As I mentioned earlier, in roughly the middle of the story, Ping-Cho tells a story about the Cave of Five Hundred Eyes, in which “Ala-eddin, the Old Man of the Mountains” uses “devious schemes” and the hashish drug to trick his soldiers into believing they were in paradise, then using that faith to convince them to give their lives for him, or else they would never see that paradise again, as only he had the power to take them there. Then, “mighty Hulagu” besieged their “lair” for three years, before killing them.

In my initial outline for this review, I praised the writing and production for giving the only actually Asian actor the monologue in which she tells a story from her culture and history. Unfortunately, upon even the smallest amount of research (I only had a day to write this, but I spent several hours reading various wikipedia articles and their sources to confirm this), I learned that this story isn’t a traditional Chinese legend about the Hashshashin, nor is it an accurate historical source. It is something that Marco Polo and other European scholars believed, as Marco Polo himself documented the story himself and is one of the original sources, but its authenticity has been thoroughly debunked.

The real history is that of the conflict between the Mongol empire, under Möngke Khan and Hülegü Khan, and the Nizari state of Alamut, ruled by Alā ad-Dīn Muḥammad, in which 100,000 Nizaris were massacred by the Mongols. However, this part is not the focus of Ping-Cho’s story, more of an afterthought and an explanation for why they aren’t around any more. The  bulk of the story revolves around the story of The Old Man of the Mountains, which has a complicated history too. The real “Old Man” was Hasan-i Sabbah, founder of the Nizari Isma'ili state in c.1090 and its fida'i military group, who would eventually gain the name “Assassins”. The origin of this name for the group is disputed, but it’s not because of the hashish drug, Ian.

The most compelling piece of evidence I found against this story of the Nizari fida’i was that of Peter Willey, who argues that according to the esoteric doctrine of the Nizari, the Isma’ili understanding of paradise was spiritual, not simply physical. Therefore, they would not have been fooled by a pretty garden and hot women into believing they were in paradise, or that only Hassan-i Sabbah was able to get them there again. Willey also points out that Juvayni, courtier of Hulagu Khan, surveyed the Alamut castle where the Nizari were, and found no evidence of any garden - and given how Juvayni destroyed texts in the library he deemed heretical, it would be surprising if he saw the drug use and temptation of this supposed garden and didn’t make note of it.

So if, even in contemporary non-Ismaili Muslim sources which were hostile to the Ismailis, there is no evidence of this story or any link of hashish to the Assassins, where did this come from, and why did John Lucarotti put it here? Well, that’s part of a long history of orientalism that I don’t have the time, energy, or knowledge to get too deep into, but I’ll give it my best shot.

The Nizari fida’i soldiers were known for not fearing injury or death, and the Crusaders, being the Crusaders, didn’t understand how they could be so loyal to their cause as to throw their own lives away (one story of similarly dubious origin describes them literally throwing themselves off cliffs at the order of their commander, as proof to an enemy leader that they were more loyal and therefore dangerous than the other larger army).

The term “hashishi” was used by 1122, with derogatory connotations of outcasts and rabble, to refer to the Nizaris, by their enemies, the term having its origin describing criminals who were mentally absent, and therefore similar to the effects of the hashish drug. However, no evidence points to the drug being used by the Assassins, or there being a link to the word being used for them and the taking of the drug, not even from the anti-Isma’ili Muslim sources at the time. However, the Crusaders and other Europeans at the time didn’t know this, which is why Marco Polo describes a legend involving the drug.

The fear of the Isma’ili as deadly, radical, and bloodthirsty assassins was linked to the hashishi term and therefore the hashish drug, and also to William of Tyre’s “Old Man of the Mountain” description of the Isma’ili leader at Alamut, and was filtered through various orientalist tropes around the secret practices of the Nizaris created by Crusaders ignorant of Islam, and through the 12th and 13th centuries this combination become a legend similar to that which Ping-Cho describes. These stories were popularised in the 19th century by orientalists such as Joseph von Hammer-Purgstall, and presumably through these sources, along with translations of Marco Polo’s writings, eventually reached John Lucarotti.

Now, my first instinct after learning all of that was to think “ah, but it was the 1960s! The main book that you looked at was published in 1995, there just wasn’t much research put into this by the 1960s.” And while yes, there wasn’t as much research, there was still some. Modern Isma'ili scholarship, pioneered by historians such as Vladimir Ivanov at the Islamic Research Association in the 1930s and 40s, laid the groundwork for disproving these legends, and all of that could have been researched by Lucarotti when writing this. Now, maybe he didn’t think to check that Marco Polo wasn’t 100% right about everything, or maybe the intention was to provide a depiction of Marco Polo’s perspective on ancient China, or maybe Lucarotti thought that since this legend was around at the time, telling it in the story was historically accurate. However, I think all of this is giving Lucarotti too much credit. I think what happened is he read Marco Polo’s diaries, and adapted stories into this Doctor Who serial, and then, despite this being a supposedly educational show, didn’t think any more of it, resulting in an uncritical regurgitation of orientalist tropes and etymological misnomers that had me fooled into thinking he was providing an accurate depiction of this culture and time period. Ugh.

Overall Score (oh yeah this is a Dr Who review not a history essay) - 14/30

[collecting-stories]

i definitely agree that the portrayal of billy in some fics is not true to the character (ie. him being portrayed as some soft good person without even having character development) but i also feel that he was a deeply complex character- he had no support system at all, and recognizing the abuse (not only physically, but emotionally and verbally as well), he was in survival mode pretty much all the time- now that DOES NOT excuse his actions of cruelty on other characters- and this is not supposed to exonerate him or anything- but he didn’t really have the same understanding as we did (dramatic irony) in scenes like when he found max at the byers (and he was already revved up by Neil, and still in that toxic mindset)- again this isn’t meant to be a sympathetic pull for his actions- it’s just a seeing his perspective kinda thing… i just feel like it might not be fair to just simplify it down to him being a totally heartless villain of a person— considering that when El was able to break through to him and show at least an ounce of kindness he did fight against the mindflayer and end up dying for it, apologizing in his final breaths- also just from my perspective i don’t think Max hated him entirely- she was obviously distraught and upset when billy died, and during the sauna test scene- i think things might have become at least a little less turbulent (not perfect by ABY stretch) between seasons two and three- and she’s really affected by his death as seen in s4– idk ig where i was coming from was that maybe if he did have a sister she could at least possibly be some sort of support system for him and that might affect the fabric of his character even if just a little bit (the way he shows affection would definitely be much different than a lot of people normally do and i think he’d definitely not be like openly affectionate hardly ever) i don’t think it would change his terrible attitude, nor his initial distaste against max and susan- i just think he might have cared for a sister at least a little bit— idk im sorry for this whole essay omg 😭😭

Don’t feel like you have to apologise at all for sharing your opinion. I mean, at the end of the day, every character is gonna mean something different to people watching the show.

I genuinely don’t believe a sibling would change him but I’m no authority on any of this, I’m just basing it off experiences of my own (with a person who has a Billy personality minus the physical abuse from his parents backstory). I mean it’s not like every character I love is like wholesome and absolved of wrong doing lol, I’m not trying to say that there’s anything wrong with relating to Billy’s storyline. I’m just saying I don’t know if he would have been changed by a bio sibling.

Headcanons are brilliant cause I can say I don’t think so and you can disagree and both opinions are totally valid. (Honestly feel the same way about canon too lol).

[greenhatsinthesky]

lockdown film no. 35 - Thelma & Louise (1991) dir. Ridley Scott

15/05/2020

This was my first time seeing this film — I’d never seen it before, didn’t know what happened even though apparently everyone knows the end, all I knew was that it was a sort of buddy movie and it won best picture in ’91. I was very excited and good god I was not disappointed

- “you a little young to be smoking? it lowers your sex drive” *lights up*

- the premise of this feels a little like American honey. Terrible home life for one of the main characters and she just runs away 

- I literally always forget how fit Susan Sarandon is. Who gave her the right

- the south scares the absolute shit out of me. however, I would love to go dancing in a country bar as long as I wasn’t hate crimed

- the scene with thelma and Harlan was well done in the sense that I felt physically sick watching it. Also I was glad that it didn’t get to the point where he actually raped her, and we got small details like him kicking her feet wider because that added to a real horrible sense of dread and we know that he would have done it if Louise hadn’t come in with the gun. 

- “I’m in deep shit, Jimmy, Deep Shit, Arkansas.”

- I love the fact that thelma just had her entire suitcase with her while she was sunbathing. Also appreciated the details in that scene like her scuffed feet and the bruises on her knees because it was super consistent with what we’d seen so far. And I don’t like it when things are shiny especially in stuff like this

- good god brad Pitt is so sexy in this

- can’t cope with the guy doing curls when their car was getting filled up

- “How come you never told me about what happened to you in Texas?!” TRAUMA BABIE

- a really big part of me wants to be brad Pitt’s character in this. I want to be a polite cowboy who helps women realise they deserve more than they think they do. Maybe not the mass shoplifting and stealing vast amounts of money from said women, but

- geena Davis and brad Pitt’s chemistry was… impeccable. They acted the scenes they had together so well and even their sex scene was almost endearing because when jd was kissing down thelma’s stomach she said “wait” and he did and he rested his chin on her and they just looked at each for a bit before launching into that whole bit and even something as small as that made the whole thing feel like the both of them were really into what was going on

- when we realised that jd had taken their money it was one of the more heartbreaking moments in the film, cos he seemed legit. It was quite funny actually, when that reveal happened my mum said “it’s bad that he took all their money, but at least he gave thelma a good time. And that’s important”. We ended up having an unexpected but nice discussion on the importance of women’s pleasure

- watching thelma rob the store was easily one of the most entertaining things, and it was ace to see her character develop over the course of the film

- “there’s no such thing as justifiable robbery” “where’d you get this?” “stole it”

- i loved how thelma just said “ok” when Louise said that she wasn’t talking about Texas. She told her to drop it and she did and just said “it’s ok”. She didn’t apologise for asking because then it puts something on Louise to forgive her 

- the hold up with the police officer was one of the politest things id ever seen and it wasn’t out of either of their characters at this point. Thelma was more confident and probably drunk and basically channelling jd at this point and Louise was the one following her lead so it was an almost complete role reversal from the beginning which I loved

- acab apart from Harvey keitel

- the way that their appearances changed throughout the film was so interesting. At the start Thelma was kind of frothy and buzzy and gradually she became almost hardened by all that had happened but she didn’t lose the essence of her character. Her hair changed and her face seemed to get darker and almost more weathered but not in a way that beat her down, in a way that made her stronger. And louise looked different as well — they both picked up memorabilia on the way so by the end they’re both wearing hats from the people who have hurt them and Louise has the cop’s sunglasses. She changes as well but she also learns from thelma in a way that we wouldn’t have expected her to at the beginning of the film. The final lorry driver scene had this in that they were playing off each other and Louise was remembering how thelma handled the nazi police officer

- the locations were spectacular

- i guess one of the things that this films about is how much people can stand until they can’t stand it anymore. The recurring theme of the god awful truck driver is a really good example of this because the first two times they see him, first they yell at him, then they ignore him because they’re on the run from the law, and then when they meet him again they blow up his truck because it was too much. he’d gone too far every time, it wasn’t like the last time was any worse than the times before, but this time they’d decided they couldn’t let him pass them by

- it was a really nice bit of comedic relief having the guy on the bike and the “oh my god he’s a nazi” police officer

- the car chase in this is one of the better ones id seen. And the shot of all the cars following them from high up? i’m absolutely reeling

- i nearly shit myself when they almost drove right over the edge and then the helicopter came up. 

- oh my god speaking of the hats they blew off both their heads when the helicopter came up and they didn’t put them back on ! In that moment they’re stripped of any of the armour they’ve gathered over the course of what’s happened and it’s just them without any of the other stuff so they’re the most vulnerable we’ve seen them for a while

- when I first saw it I really wasn’t expecting the end and it still hit me a lot second time round. Nearly welled up a bit at the bit where Harvey keitel was running after their car in slow motion

- I was just talking to my mum about this and we both thought it was interesting how the story so easily could have been the sexual assault, and while the story wouldnt go the way that it would if Harlan hadn't almost raped thelma, the story doesn't become the trauma, it’s so much more layered than that

- i love this film. Im really glad it gets clout and im pleased that there can be films directed by men that are about women and that are done really really well. Please watch it

[ughgclden]

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

[misscrawfords]

rorotheslytherclaw replied to your post: I think one of the things that really bugs me...

Omg her telling a random stranger everything frustrated me so much too! This woman could tell literally anyone and Georgiana would be disgraced I just read a fanfic where the main characters were kidnapped and it was all “noone can find out or she will be ruined!” Like how can a fanfic writer get this better than someone who writes for major tv networks…Also I agree about the character flaws, she does seem to become whatever the plot requires her to be. They can’t decide whether she’s a Catherine Moorland or an Elizabeth Bennet… i mean im still gonna watch it tho its hot trash and i enjoy but come on, I’ve read fanfics with better character consistency.

Fanfic writers very frequently get things better than fully paid, well-known professional writers... It’s infuriating!

I don’t think she’s half of Catherine or Elizabeth because she has no consistency. And tbh I wouldn’t care about any of it but her own lack of awareness of literally anything about the world she lives in means I can’t even respect her as a character any more. Catherine was naive about some things but she knew how to be polite and behave at a ball! In fact, it was her native understanding of what was appropriate and what was not that stood her in good stead when other people (the Thorpes) actually behaved badly. If Charlotte is like anyone, it’s Marianne Dashwood. Well-meaning but highly inappropriate in public places.

flibbertigiblet:

have to say I agree with you, OP. Naivety is one thing, but the utter foolishness of running away to London(!!!) with no money or contacts made me groan in disbelief. Then the word vomit to Lady Susan at the party happened, and no matter how sympathetic a character they intend Susan to be, I had to cringe, once again, at Charlotte's utter lack of discretion.

I’ve seen a lot of people saying how relatable Charlotte is for this and I get the word vomit to a stranger but it’s just so psychologically unrealistic that she would drop Sidney’s full name into it at a party to which he’s attending and this woman might know him! She might be his long lost love, Eliza! (I really wanted that to happen.) She might be his childhood BFF! His cousin! Like, really? If I have complicated feelings for a guy and I desperately need to talk about it, I don’t tell everyone who I mean! It just makes it soooo obvious it was not written by anyone who knows anything about female psychology! And I can’t believe she just ruined Georgiana’s reputation. “Oh yeah my friend Georgiana Lambe, you know her? She just got abducted!” Like, whoops, there go Georgiana’s chances in one fell swoop. Silly, silly Charlotte. But of course there are never any consequences for actions in this show.

lynsunrise:

Maybe they don't see so much real harm in Charlotte telling Mrs Susan everything because Mrs Susan either is a perfect stranger and has no interest in ruining someone's reputation or that she is to play a bigger role in everything, or she's genuinely kind and because of Charlotte's openness she feels that it's forgivable for such a spirited young woman. Running to London without money. I agree, it's absolutely crazy. But I can understand that impulse though.😘😘😘

She is clever but too hasty in judgment, she will correct that. Now that she finally understood the nature of her feelings, the source of her anger and anxiety, basically, that's she understood she's in love, it will open her eyes. And she will see better where she belongs. Till now she could not realize that she was challenging herself in challenging  others. But the picture of the old vision crumbled, and suffering can erase the prejudice and her illusions and teach her where she really belongs.

I think that she was so frustrated at the beginning of the episode because of her prejudice, it's so blind, that prejudice. And following it she acted too hastily and was so harsh. Ignorance was present, she was deaf to Sidney, and then everything turned out to be different. Sidney is the man that knows what is to love, suffer, really save someone. Everything's upside down. And it's more or less okay that she at first rejects that invitation... I think that she will analyze everything and everything will be fine💕💕💕Sorry for being so talkative 😙😅

Never apologise for being enthusiastic! I hope you are right in your evaluation of Charlotte’s character development here. Perhaps she has to go backwards to go forwards. I guess my main problem is with the inconsistent world building around her, because she is not facing any consequences - she doesn’t seem to realise how inappropriate some of the things she does are, though I grant you she does seem to realise some of them. And nobody around her is calling her out on them. She’s a complete and utter liability to the Parkers and I don’t really know why they don’t send her back to Willingden - apart from the fact that they can’t because she’s the heroine. But that’s a bad reason within the text.  *shrug* I guess we’ll see, but I’ve lost a lot of respect for the writing this episode. A lot.

kitten1618x:

^^ I find my views align with this, as well. I’m willing to bet that Lady Susan will be the one to rally the troops to save the day and be the one to help put Sanditon on the map...

Perhaps? I mean, she’s just a random stranger who finds Charlotte sympathetic and amusing instead of way out of order so I don’t know where she’s going to go.

lucyhoneychurches:

You're right. Even at the beginning I thought Charlotte was at the very least pragmatic but her lack of knowledge about the ways of society is both unconvincing and doing an injustice to her as a character

It’s the lack of social knowledge that bothers me. Like, in a way I can accept it in Sanditon because that place is frankly a backwater (no matter what Tom says) but in London there is no way in hell anyone’s going to be charmed by Charlotte on any level. It’s completely unbelievable.

mihrunnisasultans:

Mess, mess. And I thought the show had found its footing, even as simply entertaining, campy playing with tropes and cliches. Plus, I'm really hating Clara's characterisation at this point.

Yes, this! I genuinely enjoyed and was excited about episodes 4 & 5. I’ve been writing fanfiction! But this episode has really soured my enjoyment. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I become. I even went on a massive rant about it on Facebook! And that’s even before we get to Edward and Clara having sex on a cold stone floor with a snake mosaic...

[baldwin-montclair]

Baldwin’s Nightingale (Part 2)

Characters: Baldwin Montclair/OC

Timeframe: Before the S1 Finale, TV Show canon only (haven’t read the books yet)

Summary: (Im)patiently awaiting Baldwin’s return to the city and their ‘date’.

Tag requests: @christi14 @poemfreak306

PART 1

“Michael!” Alisha beamed as the lanky daemon lowered his head to just brush the top of the lounge doorway and dumped his luggage beside his worn chair.

“Ey-oh shortarse!” He drawled in his warm English midlands accent and gave a light ‘oof’ when Alisha launched herself at him in a hug. He chuckled and returned the hug before placing a patrician kiss on the top of her head.

“How was Paris?” Alisha asks as he collapses in his chair.

“No idea since I was in Venice.” He leans back, removing his glasses to rub his weary eyes.

“You okay?” She asks and he gives a nod, closing his eyes.

“Don’t concern yourself with me Poppet, I’m just glad to be home.” He answers but seems to sense her still regarding him with worry.

“Gonna throw a cuppa on? Haven’t had a decent brew in days!” He added.

Deciding to humour him despite the obvious attempt to distract her, she went to the kitchen and began the fiddly process of tea preparation he had taught her. She remembered how he stared in horror the first time she made tea by adding boiled water into mug with a teabag.

Loose leaf, tea strainer, porcelain teapot and teacups.

“How are things at the Philharmonic, running the place yet?” He called from the lounge.

“Just First Chair.” She answered, opting to not mention the confrontation of five days ago.

“That’s my girl!” He answered as she returned with the tea tray, a plate of ‘biscuits’ perched on the edge.

“What’s in Venice?” Alisha prompted.

“An old mucker from Cambridge found an art piece he thought I should take a look at, just rediscovered, still under hush for now.”

“Did you get photos?”

“Okay, what are you not telling me?” He puts down his cup, looking at her over the top of his glasses.

“Nothing, what are you talking about?” She realises how defensively high pitched her voice just became.

“Since when have you been interested in an art slideshow?”

Since I agreed to go on a date with a vampire!

She had the good sense to keep this part quiet.

“Fine, showing an interest out of sheer pity, you got me!” She covers and the smug smirk he flashes confirms she got away with it.

“I‘m well aware of that but since you brought it up...” he goes into his bag and removes his digital camera, handing her the memory card, “into the telly with it, I’m about to explain every colour in detail.”

“You coming?” Alisha shook her head at the smoking area bound cellist.

Post-Show smoke break was traditional but Alisha realised she wasn’t even craving one, despite not having lit up since Baldwin’s directive.

She wasn’t aware vampires had Paul McKenna style hypnotic abilities, given that he himself is a daemon.

“Thanks but, I quit, just the other day.”

“Wow, still though, well done!” Susan gave her a friendly pat on the arm and Alisha realised she hadn’t actually said it out loud yet.

“Thanks, I just-“ she stopped when she noticed Susan’s bemused face, “what?”

Alisha turned to see the company director approach with a bouquet of roses, pinkish peach.

“These would be for you!” Jonathan handed Alisha the bouquet with a teasing smile.

“How come you never give me roses?” Susan challenged.

“Yeah,” Scott, the flutist, chimed in from behind them, “where’s my flowers bro?”

“They’re not from me, although I appreciate your contribution, as I do all of you!”

“Yeah, say it in roses!” Scott yells after him as Alisha locates the small envelope.

“Come on, who are they from?”

“Fifteen Minutes!” Alisha reminds her.

“Huh?”

“You have fifteen minutes before we have to reset for tomorrow night, you should probably go have that smoke break now.”

“Touché!” Susan narrows her eyes on Alisha before breaking into a friendly smile.

“I need some romance!” Susan heads off to the smoking area, Scott following behind.

“I could light your cigarette for you like in an old movie,” he offers, “then we can kiss by shoving our faces together like we’ve never interacted with another human being before.”

“Good old-fashioned Hollywood romance.” Susan adds as the door closes behind the conversation

Alisha cradles the bouquet in her arm in order to open the small envelope with the message.

Can’t make the show tonight, meet me in the foyer tomorrow.

- B

He didn’t waste words.

Tomorrow night it would be, and she found herself wondering how far she was willing to take it.

“Alisha!” Michael’s voice interrupted her considerations, making her very pleased that Baldwin had put off the date by one night so as to not lock horns with her mentor.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming!” She smiled.

“I wasn’t, I needed to talk to you! Is he here?”

“Who?” She asked innocently but the serious look on his face told her he knew, especially when he looked over the flowers and plucked the small card from her hand to skim the words.

“Montclair,” he answered abruptly, “is he here?”

“No, as you can read, I’m seeing him tomorrow night!”

“Not happening.”

“Michael, you can’t just-“

“Finish up what you need to do here, I’ll drive you home!”

He left, angrier than she’d ever seen him and she had to wonder just what it would take for such a usual gentle giant to become so furious.

Also, how did he even know?

The night had certainly taken an unwelcome turn but she realised also this was on the cards anyway, she’d just hoped to have it be later.

That option gone, she would just have to face the music, as it were, apologise for the secrecy but be clear in her conviction, a conviction she only just realised she felt. She wanted to see Baldwin again regardless of Michael’s opposition.

She was going on that date!

_______

PART 3

[dustinsmommasteve-blog]

Just an idea for the girl I think would be perfect for Dustin

Im going to tell you the story of this girl. (I will call her lacy)

The first time lacy noticed dustin she was sitting at a table across from him during lunch and when she heard him tell a joke to his friends, laughing she accidentally spit milk all over her friends shirt. After quickly glancing back she realized with that he hadn't noticed. She breathed out a sigh of relief. And quickly proceeded to apologise to her friend and help her clean up.

But from then on she kept an eye out for the funny boy who, for some reason she realized, was missing some teeth. But to be honest she didn't really mind. Actually it was, kinda cute.

Everyday as she passed through the halls she would watch for him. And sometimes she would see him smile. Everytime he smiled her heart would skip a beat and she did not believe that she could ever begin to speak again.

One day while in class she heard him talking to his friends about something called D&D. She wasn't quite sure what that was but she was determined to find out.

Two days later she was coming home from the store with a game labeled "Dungeons and Dragons inside" finding out what D&D was had honestly been kind of traumatic. She wasn't a very out going and had to put herself ask her friend (we'll call her susan) about it. Susan groaned and said something about how it was some "stupid nerds game, called doomsday and dragons, or something like that" "honestly lacy I don't know why your even interested" after that exchange she wanted nothing more that retreat into her shell and never speak again. But instead she bought the game and was completely determined to learn every rule and aspect of the game. It would be a great conversation starter.

She began trying to work up the courage to dustin but everytime she was about to walk up to him her muscles froze and she couldn't move or talk and then suddenly he had walked past her and the opportunity was gone.

Then his friend Will went missing. She didnt know what to say. She went to his funeral, and afterwards even gave dustin a hug and managed to squeak out "I'm sorry about your friend" before hightailing it out of there. Heart beating so fast she was sure it would leap from her chest.

(Fast forward to season 2 dustins cat mews just got eaten by dart)

Lacy had finally worked up her courage to its breaking point. She had make some cookies and was about to ask him if he would go to the dance with her. She had even prepared a pun. "It would be sweet if you would go to the dance with me!" She knew it was a strech but it was the best she could do. Just as she came into veiw of the house dustin, dressed head to toe in baseball gear came running out of his house and straight into his shed. That was odd. Then she notice little patches of pink on the sidewalk.. was that.. bologna?

#strangerthings #findaloverfordustin #dustinhenderson #gatenmatarazzo #strangerthings2

[ecogoth1]

well its been good ride.. ill serve my country till i die.. i still think a online type government is a good idea.. please go to Mars.. i realized alot has happened in the 19 years i have missing alot memories came back due my genuis.. Though the world had to deal with attack after attack eventually i pray peace happens im just simple man in some ways still disconnect from the world mine has been nature and online and spent with God.. I may be just like my Father and Mother. who bore me. With one difference Im.not Jesus im.his servent.. Hope you all understand.. I may be little evil I am mentally ill and proud of it i found something beyond it.. to be honest till 6 months ago i never studied much about the Manson family or Susan Atkins.. maybe hard to believe most people my age and younger knew very little about it and we just felt the backlash of veitnam. vet after vet flipping out like my friends dad another in LA held his home for 2 weeks remember.. not to mention the counter culture... i embraced it after it was over and people didnt think being hippy was cool i never cared i took the best out all things ive experienced no one would ever let me know . soo if it helps To all the families effected I apologise.. see that doesn't bring back the dead. though not forgetting everyones sacrifice who built our country defended our country help the world are our great nation how many people have died in the wars how many have lost children on all sides how many have lost parents grandparents and so on see this is where where I definitely realize it doesn't matter when my parents are there bigger things going on in the world. now as to my heart failure I'm sure I can find a replacement maybe if I decide to do that I don't know if I'm going to decide to do that I'm decided yet what I'm going to do I don't want to have to be taking pills what what has happened to me here will not be forgotten I think it's time we tried to move past the past. but not forget it Lambert we do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I'd like to thank God and my Lord Jesus Christ the spiritual beings and my mother nature https://www.instagram.com/p/B46d1r-nKh4/?igshid=bcjsk348dkce

[melodymishahiddlestan]

Summers in Scotland

Authors Notes: I became inspired to write this after I had finished reading a marvellous Tom Hiddleston AU fic. I just had a thought what if you met your soulmate but they were too old for you? Say they were over 18 when you were under 16, how would both react and how would you both cope? Would you even like the fact you were soul-marked to each other? How would your family and your soul-marks react to this news… Set first in 2001 then jumps ahead few years every so often and then ends up in 2018 during the filming for infinity wars (Soul-Mark AU) Summary: 15 year old Abigail Matthews visits her father and step family in Scotland and get roped into helping out at the local amateur dramatics group where she meets her soul mark ‘Tom’ Pairing: OFC x Tom Hiddleston Word Count: 2,162 NO WARNING ~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 1 It is universally known that soul-marks appear on the body when a child comes into their 12th year. Now it doesn't always happen but that may come down the fact the other words have yet to be born/turn 12, in which case the older individual would have to wait. Now should you turn 12 and your words appear that means your mate is older... this happened to me… My Name is Abi Matthews. As soon as I turned 12 the words "Hello, I'm Tom, nice to you meet you, so Shannen said you can Draw?" appeared on the inside of my right lower arm, in what I can only assume was 'Tom' very neat handwriting. Now the only person I showed these words too were my mum and she instantly recommended I cover them up to avoid jealousy from others as not everyone gets their soul mark straight away and not everyone knows their name. She gave me a Holo-Sleeve and I’ve worn it ever since, occasionally taking off during my baths to admire the beauty of my Soul-marks handwriting and wondering if he was doing the same to mine and hoping he can read it… Now just before my 12th Birthday my parents, David and Maria (who weren't soul-marked together), Split-up after my dad had met his words and had moved to Scotland to be with Rowena and her two kids, Gavin & Susan, my step siblings, (Gavin is 2 years older than me and Susan who is 2 years younger) their father had died when Susan was just a baby. Now I didn't get to meet my 'Tom' as I referred to him as for another 3 years after the initial appearance on my 12th Birthday, and in the summer of 2001 I did and this is the story. Now every year after my parents split up I would go visit him and my new family in Edinburgh in the summers and half terms, it was lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed my time there, Rowena was a lovely lady, she didn’t treat me any differently to her own children and even suggested to my dad they find a bigger house so I had my own room instead of having to share with Susan whenever I visited. Now my dad worked as a Eduactional advisor, helping to improve schools, and because of this he was asked if he would be willing to go to another School somewhere else in Scotland and work his magic there, he accepted and that’s why they moved to Greenock from Edinburgh. Now on the fateful summer I met my soul-mark after just arriving to Greenock, Rowana announced she was getting involved in helping out the local Junior amateur dramatics group her friend Morag ran and as it was a Junior that Gavin, Susan and I must join in as it would be a great way for us to meet other kids our age, now Gavin and Susan had already met the kids in the area having already been living in Greenock for a term, this I suspected was a ploy on Rowena’s part to include me more, now I didn’t mind as much cause it beat me staying in all the time but it would mean I would not get to spend as much time with my dad while I was up in Scotland. Rowena assured me it would not take up too much of my time and knowing I was a shy thing assured me I wouldn’t have to be on stage, instead I could maybe work backstage, but said I could go for the first meeting and that if it wasn't my cup-of-tea I didn't have to go again. I said I would think about it. I did and I was kind of curious to see what they would do at this ‘amateur dramatics group’ and three days later, I’m walking into the hall where the production would eventually take place was daunting, it was huge and there were a lot of kids around my age, some younger like Susan, some older like Gavin and I didn't know anyone. As soon as we arrived Gavin and Susan went off to hang out with their friends whilst I stood with Rowena, she informed me she was just going to have ‘a wee chat’ with her friend and I was to wait here, I said that was fine. I sat on my own, I was sitting at the window and looked out at the view which was beautiful and not realising I was even doing it, got out my art book (that I carry everywhere) and the pencil that was always stuck behind my ear, and started sketching away at the landscape, I must have only been at it for a few minutes when a voice came up behind me and shocked me out of my daze, “Bloody hell you’re good” I looked up to see a small red headed girl with glasses wearing an oversized zipped coat which was fastened up to her neck, which I though was odd for the warm weather Greenock was currently having. She was looking down at me smiling, “you gonna help with the scenery?” she asked in her Scottish accent, but she continued before she gives me a chance to respond, “oooh I do hope so, we need your kinda talent, the last guy, Robbie, he upped and disappeared half way the post production last year, left me and Morag in a sticky situation I tell you,” “I don’t know, I’m not sure my mum, I mean Step-mum said I could think about it,” I replied quietly, the red headed girl sat down next to me, “Ah you’re English, I do love your accents, their so quaint,” she smiled at me again, and she looked like she was hiding something a small bit of desperation and I knew I couldn’t leave this girl alone, “please say you will, I don’t think I can do it all on my own,” she looked over at Morag who was still busy chatting away with Rowena, “keep this on the down low okay? but Morag? she told me we’re doing a Shakespeare production of a Midsummer Night Dream, and I can’t draw for shit, I’m more a painter, and well im sure you’ll be able to draw a fairy world,” “I think I could, Midsummer is actually one of my favourite of Shakespeare plays,” I admit to my new friend, “'Set your heart at rest, The fairy land buys not the child of me'” “Ya wha?” asks my Red headed acquaintance looking lost, “Sorry, it’s a quote from the play? The Fairy Queen Titania says it in Act II, scene 1, I told you it was my favourite,” I shy apologise after exposing my geekiness, “She’s my favourite character” “oh” she says looking more interested, “You should audition, if you know the part so well,” “Oh no, I tend to stay out of the limelight, that’s more suited to my sister Susan,” “Susan?” my bespectacled friend asks, “Yes, Susan MacLeod” I confirm as I point over to my blond haired step sister who was busy chattering away with her friends, “Susan MacLeod? Is your sister? So that makes Gavin…?” “Yup, my older brother, well step-brother, he’s cool, their mum, Rowena, is my dad’s soul-mark, she’s alright too, she’s making a real effort, so is Gavin to include me, Susan not so much, if ya ask me she’s a bit stuck up,” “Aye, you can say that again,” smirks my new friend, “Oh by the way, I’m Shannen,” I raise my eyebrows, surely not… she puts her hand out for me to take of which I politely accept, “Shannen McManon, but you can call me Ginge,” she winks, “Ooh, hello… I’m Abigail Matthews… but please call me Abi, only my dad gets to call me Abigail,” I awkwardly laugh, grinning at our new budding friendship, “So you’ll help me? With the scenery? I could really do with the help this year,” she pleads “You know what? I will, I’ll help you, I already have some sketch ideas we can use,” I show her my art book, “I have more back home,” her eyes widen at them, “Their brilliant Abi!” she asks to look closer, I nod and she takes the book looing through, “These are beautiful Abi, you’re amazing,” “Thanks, I’m going to get into art school when I finish school next year,” I inform her “Same here, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that now,” “How come?” I ask but Shannen, sorry Ginge, doesn’t answer, instead she passes my art book back and looks me in the eye, “I’m gonna tell Morag you’re on board,” she gets up slowly and walks over to where Morag was talking to Rowena, not before she gives me a Hug, “Thank you,” I sit back and watch as Ginge, walks off, and I ponder, rubbing my arm where my soul-mark is hidden under my holo-sleeve, surely the ‘Shannen’ my Tom mentions in his words isn’t the one I’ve just met… surely not, that’s too much of a coincidence. I look up again at where Ginge had gone and noticed another woman had joined Morag and Rowena, and there was a young man standing with them aswell, the trio were talking animatly, the young man stood silently by the woman’s side, I assume she’s his mother due to similarities in their facial features and the blond hair. Ginge approaches Morag, politely interrupting the three ladies conversation, Morag turns towards her with a smile which opens out to a bigger smile, Ginge continues to talk to the ladies and I’m drawn to the young man. I was instantly knocked back by just how handsome and cute the young man was, and how tall he was too, he had blond curly hair which looked like he had attempted to brush it but lost and he was wearing a green short sleeve shirt over a white sleeve top and jeans, he turned to look towards me and It was then I got to see he had really nice eyes, like two sapphires, how I’d love to get hold of him and ask if he’ll let me draw him, he obviously noticed me staring and smiles, I blush having been caught and its then his face snaps towards something Ginge says and then he looks back at me in surprise, I smile at him, that’s when I see Morag and Rowena walking over towards me, Ginge looking from me to the young blond and grinning, I snap out of it when I hear my name, “Abi, Shannen tells me you’re on board with helping out backstage with the set design and back drops, is that correct?” asks Morag, a large Scottish lady with a jet black hair and a happy face, I slowly nod, “That’s fantastic news, so glad to have you on board, now if you’ll excuse me I shall rally the troops and introduce everyone,” Rowena gives me a huge smile and brief hug and winks at me and follows Morag on stage, along with the woman who was talking to them earlier, the young man now having disappeared. I get up out my seat and start to walk over to Ginge, but like the cute blond she too has disappeared, I decide to sit on the window sill high up so to find Shannen’s Ginger hair in the crowd only to discover most of the people here had red hair, I sit back and ponder, but not for long. Morag is on the stage and I vaguely hear her talk about how this year’s production was going to be more professional and that they had go more funding and that the lady; a Diana Hiddleston, who was an arts administrator and stage manager would be assisting in this year’s production of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ and that her son would be helping due to him currently studying the classics at Cambridge and was here on an advisory capacity due to his vast knowledge of Shakespeare. So the cutie knew his Bill eh? I bet he don’t know as much as me about this play, I laugh at my obnoxious thought, he goes to Cambridge Abi, of course he’ll knows more than me! And I shake my head of that silly thought. I don’t notice the unruling blond head of hair in front of me, lean against the window ledge I was sitting on till Morag finished her introduction, he turns around and looks at me, we’re about face to face now I’m higher up, he smiles at me and I’m almost knocked out by the beauty of it, he is really rather handsome, he places his hand out in front of himself, I instantly take it, "Hello, I'm Tom, nice to you meet you, so Shannen said you can Draw?" TO BE CONTINUED -------------- Please tell me if you wish me to remove you from the tag list and if you want me to add you. Please be kind. Tag List: @srj1990 @this-ginger-has-no-soul @thatawkwardtinyperson @mar-gega @wayward-mirage @faith-in-dean @rowdyhooliganism @thewhiterabbit42 @emilyevanston @stephkfay @angryschnauzer @bovaria @nuggsmum @rosereidgibbshotch @deannathegeek @vampiechelle @peaceloveancolor @sammy-moo @m1sund3rst0od @memoirsofamessybitch @mummabro @deezyd19 @phoenixfire2912

[ughgclden]

hi love! i hope your first day goes well, and i just wanted to drop in and say youre doing so well and i’m so proud of you, and i’m here always

dont forget to take care of yourself, lovely. food, water, sleep, etc

this is me figuratively making you a cup of tea and wrapping you in a blanket with a kiss on he forehead and a marathon of all your favourite movies.

i hope you smile today, love :) <3

all my love,

star✨

hi my love!! yet again i find myself apologising for my late replies - i get tired very easily, for some reason, and all i can do is sleep.

thank you, so so much - it actually went a lot better than i anticipated!! i made friends??? which was a nice surprise??? and thank you again, for always being so lovely and kind

please look after yourself, and show yourself the love and kindness you deserve, angel - and the thought of this is SO cute im-

consider this me making you a perfect cup of (black) coffee, perhaps so we could marathon narnia together and i can argue about how you are most definitely better than susan pevensie /hj

all my love, star <3