#IM A LIL CRAZY TOO FOR GODS SAKE!!

[bastardcherub]

look. let’s be real here. if they’re not a lil crazy, will they REALLY fuck You right?

[cranetreegang]

Save Her - Ominis x FemReader

Alright my fellow Ominis Simps. Here is the angst chapter (a lil late i know my b i was watching a rocket launch). If I don't make at least one of you cry, i will shut down my account and never write again. on god. no cap.

im just kidding ;) i ain't leaving suckas! hahahah you're stuck with me >:)

But low key, i do need someone to tell me to stop. i think im getting too crazy with some of these ideas.

Read Part 1 Here

🎶 Music to enjoy/feel to -> I'm Sending You Away and Never Goodbye and The Departure 🎶

Summary: Ominis and the Fifth Year are no longer speaking to one another. A rift Sebastian takes note of, and tries to bridge for them. Things take a turn, and she may be lost to them... forever

Word Count: ~7,400 words

Warnings: ANGST, Fighting, slight cursing, mentions of death, near death

Read my other Ominis Fics Here

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Sebastian knows something is wrong. 

Over the past few days, Ominis has been far more curt than normal - not even bothering to exchange pleasantries half the time and he rarely ever smiles unless it’s a sneering smirk after a scathing remark. His patience is all but gone as well. His short temper extends not just to Sebastian though. A Second Year, who made the unfortunate mistake of bumping into Ominis one morning, received a tongue-lashing so intense, it would have made Professor Sharp blush. And now, almost everyone gives Ominis a wide berth so as to not face his wrath. 

Sebastian hasn’t witnessed Ominis this cold and cruel since their First Year, but even then he was still civil if not a bit aloof. He’s tried to speak to Ominis about his recent behavior, but Ominis is quick to dismiss him. Even going so far as to state it’s none of Sebastian’s concern and to stop ‘meddling with affairs he has no business being in’. Sebastian would be lying if Ominis’ words hadn’t stung him. 

Sebastian also took note in the lacking presence of their mutual friend. She was a common sight in the Undercroft or hanging off Ominis’ arm, but she’s been notably absent. When Sebastian brought up asking her to come study with them, Ominis gave him such a scathing glare, Sebastian had flinched away to avoid any hexes he might send his way. But, beneath the menacing stare, was an undeniable pain at the mention of her. And Sebastian almost couldn’t believe it. He stormed all over the castle to confront her for hurting Ominis. But then he found her.

She was leaning against a window overlooking the courtyard - her gaze far away. She looked abysmal and her features were contorted into an equally pained expression as Ominis. After he saw her, he started to really take notice of the state she’s been in. 

She's all but withdrawn. At dinner, she picks around her food while she glances towards Ominis - barely replying to anything Sebastian is trying to tell her. He’s caught Natty and Poppy both trying to help with her unkempt hair - brushing out the tangles in between classes while she stares blankly ahead. The dark circles under her eyes shows she doesn’t sleep much, if at all. When others speak to her, she rarely acknowledges, or she speaks so softly she might as well not have said anything at all. And everytime she tries to approach Ominis, Sebastian swears Ominis turns his back to her and goes the other way. It’s her longing gaze which eats at Sebastian the most. He’s never seen her this pathetic and beaten before.

Sebastian sighs as he thinks about his two friends. This cannot continue, he decides. And since they’ve yet to mend whatever is wrong between them on their own, he knows he has to step in and figure out what’s going on. If not for their sake, at least for his own.

He first approaches her after potions. Having just witnessed Ominis storming out without so much as acknowledging Sebastian as he passed, he figures he would have far more luck with her than Ominis at the moment.

“Hey.” Sebastian greets her with a tentative smile while he helps her pack her things.

She gives him a smile back, but it doesn’t even come close to reaching her glassy eyes. 

“Alright. What’s going on between you two?” Sebastian questions her as they walk out of the classroom. “And don’t say it’s ‘nothing’ as it most certainly is not. Tell me what’s gotten into the two of you.”

She looks at him as if she had been stricken. Her eyes trail over to where Ominis stomped away moments ago.

“It’s my fault… I messed it all up, Sebastian.” She whispers, her lip quivering.

He doesn’t waste time and he takes her to the more secluded section of the castle - since the Undercroft is absolutely out of the question. They take their place next to one another overlooking the Black Lake - where the wind carries its damp smell all the way here, on the rickety, old long bridge outside the Clocktower Courtyard. The looming gray clouds bring about an oncoming winter storm and it makes the wind bite their cheeks. She grips onto the wooden post with a somber expression and her eyes are glazed over. 

“Tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help. I mean, I can’t fathom how you could actually mess something up with Ominis beyond repair. He adores you.” Sebastian says with a grin.

She gives him a wry smile, “I doubt he adores me anymore.” She closes her eyes with a deep sigh then asks in a whisper, “Have you ever made a mistake that you wish with every fiber of your being you could take back?”

Sebastian nods with a solemn expression, “Of course. I think we all have, at some point.”

It takes her several breaths before she continues.

“I’m sure you’re aware that Ominis comes from a long line of Legilimens.” 

He nods, “I know Salazar was one. Can’t say I’m surprised the talent stayed in the bloodline.”

“Well, I was hoping I could help him master his Legilimency. So he would be able to… feel me whenever he wished. It was supposed to help quell his worries when I’m not at the castle. So he knows I’m alright.” 

He waits for her to continue while her fingers pick at the weathered wood and a grimace consumes her features.

“After a particularly intense session, he now believes that I want to-, that I-I want to fix him. Wh-Which isn’t true. He’s not broken. He doesn’t need mending. I know this.” 

Sebastian lowers his gaze to the chasm below with a quiet inhale. He knows Ominis to be sensitive on the subject. Ominis’ mother in particular has been keen on him being ‘cured’ - going so far as to procure him magical eyes to be inserted at the removal of his current eyes. 

She lets out a shaky breath as her head falls, “B-But, maybe my motives were never in good nature. Despite my intentions, perhaps on some level, I did want to… fix him. And this was always selfish in nature.”

She sighs, “I won’t deny the allure of him able to see - even if it’s just through memories. It’s exciting. A gift.” She pauses and Sebastian can see her body trembling. “A gift, he never asked for, but I assumed he wanted.” 

Her hands cover her face, “Oh, Sebastian - I didn’t realize how carelessly I approached all of this until it was too late. And now, he won’t even speak to me.” 

Her last sentence comes out as a near whisper and she ducks away from him to hide her crying. Sebastian grabs her, turning her back to him, then he pulls her into a tight hug. She holds onto him as her head presses into his chest.

“Hey. Don’t cry. Don’t cry now.” He hushes. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.”

“No. No it won’t. You didn’t see the way he looked at me, Sebastian. I’ve never seen him so cold. He hates me. I fear this can’t be mended in any way. I-I’m sure he believes I’m no better than his wretched family.”

Sebastian pulls her away with a frown and furrowed brows, “You are nothing like that. Don’t even compare yourself to them. Do you hear me?!” 

She lowers her gaze from his and his fingers jerk her chin back up to him.

“Look at me.” He demands in a stern tone. “You need to stop wallowing in self-pity this instant. And we need to come up with a way to sit Ominis down to work this whole thing out. You both are being absolutely ridiculous. Him even more so. He’s being a right bloody arse, and you’re the only one who can sort him out.” 

“But, he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. Anytime I try to go to him, he just ignores me, or walks away.” She grimaces - biting her lip to keep another wave of sobs from spilling out.

Sebastian smirks, “It’s a good thing I have my own way with him. I think I may have an idea.”

===========================

Sebastian will be the first to admit his surprise at Ominis’ acceptance to go to Hogsmeade, but he’s not about to complain. 

The journey there is all but silent. The storm of yesterday is upon them and leaves the sky in a dark gloom. Chilling winds cut through the wall of trees - kicking up the snow along the banks - and Sebastian wraps his arms around his chest to keep some of his warmth. He spares glances at his friend, noting how his brows are pinched together and his lips are pressed into a tight frown - seemingly unaffected by the frigid gales. He sees the dark circles under Ominis’ eyes as well and he finds some hope, that underneath all his bitter anger, Ominis still cares for her. And he’s just as upset by all this as she is. 

It’s once they’re at Honeydukes, does Sebastian finally find his chance to broach the subject. He catches Ominis lingering on a shelf of candies. Her favorite. His fingers glide over the boxes and he has a somber smile as he does. 

“You should get her something.” Sebastian says as he stands near Ominis. 

He retracts his hand, as if burned, and he sneers, “Why on earth would I do that?” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Sebastian drawls out while Ominis turns towards the door - the bell ringing as they both leave the warm shop and head into the bitter cold, “to cheer her up. She’s been quite down lately. Like someone killed her beloved pet right in front of her. Not even Poppy can cheer her up - and she’s been throwing Puffskeins at her all week.” 

Ominis frowns at this, hurrying his stride - but Sebastian is hot on his heels.

“Is that what this venture is about? Did she put you up to this?” Ominis spits. 

“Far from it. She barely speaks any more - did you know that? I couldn’t talk to her if I tried.” 

Sebastian catches the wince rippling across Ominis’ features before he resumes his stoic indifference. 

“Well, perhaps that’s for the best.” 

Sebastian’s eyes widen, “You don’t mean that, Ominis.” 

“What if I did?” He retorts with an edge in his voice - any others would have backed down, but Sebastian has never been one to take heed of such things.

“Because if you did, you’d be as cruel as that brother of yours. And you and I both know, that’s not true.” Sebastian states. “Tell me. What’s wrong? What happened between you two? I thought you adored each other. And now, you practically hate her guts. Has she done something truly that unforgivable?” 

“I don’t hate her.” Ominis snaps then he grimaces with a slight shake of his head, “I thought she was different. But, she’s just like all the others. I should’ve known better than to expect anything else.” 

“What does that even mean, Ominis?” 

Ominis scoffs, “It means exactly that. If you want to know more - go interrogate her instead. I’m sure she’s dying to tell you all about it. Since she’s so apt on fixing everyone’s problems, it’ll be good for her to worry about herself for a change.”

Sebastian winces at his harsh tone while doubts of him being able to help start to bubble up. He sucks in a sharp breath, clenching his fists in determination.

“You know,” Sebastian says while they wind their way on the path back to Hogwarts, “is there any way you two could talk this out? Perhaps this is all one big misunderstanding!” 

“Doubtful.” 

Sebastian curses to himself at Ominis’ stubbornness. He hates when Ominis gets like this - and there’s only ever been one person who’s able to get him to come around to reason. And Ominis is refusing to ever speak to her again.

“Can’t you at least give her a chance to apologize? Bury the hatchet, and whatnot?” Sebastian practically pleads. “You do care for her. I know you do, Ominis. Despite all this guise of pretending you don’t. And guess what - she still cares about you. So, what’s stopping you? Your pride? I sincerely hope not. Because you, of all people, should know better.”

Ominis’ brows pinch together and his eyes soften. Ominis won’t deny, it’s been extremely difficult to keep up his ‘indifference’ towards her. He longs for her. But, he doesn’t know how to face her. 

“I-,” Ominis stops, his wand pointing to something ahead on the path. Sebastian follows his wand until he sees what’s got Ominis’ attention. 

She’s walking up to them - her hands are wringing together and her eyes are glued to Ominis. Sebastian curses to himself again.

Ominis turns to Sebastian with a scowl, “You lied. You did speak to her. To what? Ambush me?!” 

“I told you to wait in the Undercroft.” Sebastian hisses at her. 

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t wait any longer.” She speaks up. “I just want to talk to you, Ominis. Please.” 

Sebastian can see the hurt within Ominis, despite his best attempts to keep it all at bay. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Ominis stomps past her. 

“Wait, please!” She catches up to him, tugging on his sleeve to get him to stop. 

“Get your hand off of me!” He whips around with a snarl, “Are you dense? Surely you must realize that I want nothing to do with you!” 

Sebastian stands next to her with his mouth agape, “Ominis.” 

Ominis bites his tongue hard enough to flood his mouth with a hot copper taste. He’s ready to yank his arm from her loose grasp and run away from the both of them when the noise of twigs breaking gets all of their attention. 

“You!” A masked man shouts as he emerges from the treeline - his wand pointing towards her and Ominis. “There you are! You lil’ meddling brat.”

Without pause, Ominis hears a spell being cast. He doesn’t have time to react before she steps in front of him. He hears her gasp and her body crumples to the ground with an audible thud. Sebastian is firing back at their assailants and spells whiz past Ominis’ head - just barely missing him. Ominis gathers his wits enough to help Sebastian. His casting is frantic and phrenetic. He hates the satisfaction he has in hearing the Ashwinders cries of pain when he and Sebastian land their heated spells, but he doesn’t restrain himself. 

It doesn’t take much to drive the dark wizards back, and they soon retreat into the forest from whence they came. A chilling stillness settles in the air with not a bird’s song nor insect’s chitter to break it - only the howling wind and Ominis’ and Sebastian’s heavy breaths. 

Ominis turns to check on her, when his foot hits something. He falls to the ground and he nearly recoils at touching her leg. He says her name over and over again as his hands move up her body to her face. He searches her face for any sort of movement, but she’s still. His heart seizes once he gets to her eyes. They’re wide open. Frozen in a lifeless expression. Sebastian stares at the scene with his mouth agape and his heart twisting.

“Sebastian? Is she alright? What’s wrong with her?” Ominis whimpers. He shouldn’t be this numb, nor feel that his world is disintegrating around him. But he does. And he doesn’t know how to make it stop. 

Sebastian is somewhat thankful Ominis cannot see her as he’s sure Ominis would shatter at the sight. Her eyes are wide, swallowed in an eerie teal mist, and staring blankly ahead. If it weren’t for the slight movements of her chest - he would believe her dead. Ominis drags her into his arms as he feels over her face in horror.

“Answer me!” Ominis demands, his haunting gray eyes a full on tempest as he searches in vain for Sebastian.

“She’s alive.” He states in a stern tone and Ominis lets out an audible sigh. “But, something’s wrong. I-I think they cursed her.” Sebastian can taste the bile in his mouth at the thought. “We need to get her to Hogwarts. Now.”

Ominis shuts his eyes then nods. 

Sebastian casts a Hover Charm on her - making her float lifelessly in the air. Ominis holds her close to him and they carry her back to the castle. They sprint into the Hospital Wing and start to babble like madmen once they arrive. The Nurse helps set their unconscious friend on a bed then pushes them back with a flick of her wand and she’s quick to work without a single word.

Ominis and Sebastian stand in silence. Sebastian glances over to his eerily still best friend and he places his hand on Ominis’ shoulder. 

“She’ll be okay.” He whispers. “She’s a lot tougher than she looks.” 

Ominis trembles under Sebastian’s touch, so he brings Ominis under his arm into a strong side hug. Sebastian hates this. He hates waiting for an answer. He hates seeing his friend - hurt and unmoving. And he hates the wretched expression upon Ominis. It sends Sebastian into a spiral of helplessness. He holds Ominis tighter - it’s the least he can do… the only thing he can do.

“I told her I wanted nothing to do with her.” He closes his eyes with a shaky breath. “Why did I say such a vicious thing to her?” 

Sebastian opens his mouth to speak, but Madame Blainey approaches them with a grim expression.

“Her body is unharmed. But, she’s suffering from a botched Memory Charm.” Madame Blainey states.

“What does that mean? Will she be alright then? That means you can fix it, right?” Sebastian questions. 

Madame Blainey sighs, her eyes downcast, “The state she’s currently in is not optimistic. She will have to be transferred to St. Mungos for further treatment. And…,” 

“And what?” Ominis’ voice is cold and devoid of any emotion. 

“St. Mungos will keep her comfortable.” Blainey spares them a sad, pitying smile between the two boys. “You may need to prepare yourselves for the possibility of her not waking from this.” 

Ominis’ shoulders sag and Sebastian scowls - taking a step towards the Matron with clenched fists. 

“That can’t be. You said it was a shoddy charm. So, why can’t it be remedied? Why can’t you heal her?!” Sebastian demands, his voice rising with every question. 

The Nurse raises both of her hands to ease Sebastian, but it does little to quell the indignation dancing in his dark eyes.

“The Charm may not have worked as intended. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t affect her.” Madame Blainey turns towards the occupied bed - where she lays, unmoving upon the pristine white sheets. 

 “She’s currently lost in her own mind. Unless she’s able to find her way back, I’m afraid she will remain lost to us.” 

Madame Blainey turns back to the two boys, “I am truly so sorry. I wish I had better news. I’ll leave you two alone with her.” 

Madame Blainey bows her head before she goes into her office - shutting her door with a click. 

Sebastian glares at the shut door while Ominis takes shaky steps forward until he reaches the foot of her bed. His fingers trace up her leg until they reach her hand. His hand wraps around hers and he lets out a gasp.

“She’s so cold.” He whispers. 

Ominis collapses to his knees with a silent sob, “This is all my fault.” 

Sebastian goes to his side, wrapping an arm around his heaving shoulders. Sebastian bites his lip to keep his own tears at bay. 

“This is not your fault, Ominis.” He squeezes Ominis’ shoulder while his other hand rubs up and down Ominis’ arm.

“It is. It is.” Ominis cries. “She wouldn’t be like this if I hadn’t been so cruel to her. I-If I would’ve given her the chance to speak. Instead, I-I just ignored her. I knew she was hurting, Sebastian. I knew I was hurting her. But, I chose to ignore it. All because I assumed the worst in her. And now, the last thing I said to her was that I didn’t want her.”

Ominis lets out a heavy breath, “Yet, she still chose to protect me. Even then she still… cared.” 

Ominis manages to get back to his unstable legs long enough to stumble towards the head of the bed. He feels over her face, brushing aside her hair as he does so. He buries himself into the crook of her neck and Sebastian can only place a reassuring hand upon Ominis’ back - and watch. 

“Please. Please. Wake up. Wake up and tell me what a fool I am. And how foolish I’ve been. Please, just wake up.” Ominis begs.

Sebastian can’t stand how hurt Ominis is, nor can he stand the blank expression upon her face staring at him. So, he leaves without a word. His destination - plainly written in his mind. 

====================

Ominis can barely hear the breaths leaving her. He has to strain his ears to catch the hint of an exhale escaping her. He places his hand over her heart. There’s a slight rise and fall, and a faint strumming of a near nonexistent heartbeat against his palm. 

“If this is your way of getting back at me for how-,” his throat cinches and he has to suck in a sharp breath, “For how I’ve been. I’d say you’ve made your point. You can stop. You can wake up now.” 

He sounds pathetic and desperate, even to his own ears, but he doesn’t care. He’ll gladly grovel at her feet, weep for forgiveness, anything. Anything. He'd give, he’d do, he’d say anything, just to hear her curse his name - to direct all the malicious things he’s said to her unto him. At least then, she’d be… 

He shakes his head at the grim thought. She’s not dead. She’s simply lost, as the Matron put it. 

“Lost in thought.” He murmurs. “I hope they’re pleasant thoughts. An old adventure perhaps? The ones you like to tell me about - even though they worry me to know you were in such a perilous situation.” He laughs, bitterly and near sobbing. 

“I hope it’s the one you and I were on together. I enjoyed it. Although, you did nearly get us killed.” He smiles to himself.

He feels over the top of her far too cold hand and he slips off his school robe. He drapes it across her while he focuses on the rise and fall of her chest - satisfied she is indeed still breathing. 

“Or maybe it’s best to not think of me at all. I wouldn’t blame you.” He murmurs as he grabs her hand once more. 

“I don’t know why I didn’t come to you. I wanted to. So badly. So very, very badly. It’s been driving me mad. Not being able to talk to you. There’s so much I want to tell you.”

But now, those words may forever remain unspoken. He shudders at the thought. 

“It’s not to say I wasn’t upset with you.” He confesses. “I was. Even now, I’m angry at you for throwing yourself into harm’s way - yet again. You’re so incredibly, unbelievably careless. And look at where it’s gotten you!” 

He lets out a sharp breath, ripping his hands away while he falls back into his chair. 

“You must be laughing right now at how-,” he gasps, “At how much pain I’m in. I’m in absolute agony right now, and you don’t even realize. Because you care about everyone so much - but never yourself! Why is that? Why don’t you love yourself to the same degree that everyone else loves you? Like I love you.” 

He falls into his hands and his fingers dig into his hair, practically ripping it from his scalp. 

“I love you so much. It pains me. I thought this was supposed to be a sweet, wonderful thing - yet here I am. In misery.” 

He strains his ears again, and he catches a slight exhale. 

“Say something, will you? Anything. Please. Just say something. End my torment.” He whimpers. 

Another near silent breath is his only response. 

He sits back up and slowly, carefully, reaches out for her. He tangles his fingers in her hair - far more gently than he had for himself - and he has her hand in a vice-like grip. He strokes her scalp while he listens for any slight changes in her breathing. But, it’s steady. Like she’s in a deep sleep and he’s merely trying to disturb her rest. 

“I know. I know.” He sighs. 

“I know you don’t like it when I’m upset. Especially over your… adventures. I just wish it was someone else in your place. Selfish, I know. But I never claimed I wasn’t. I wish you weren’t the way you are. So wanting to do good and to help those that have no merit for it.” 

He smiles softly, “But, that’s also why I love you so fiercely - that bleeding, kind heart of yours. Which, so foolishly, believes me worthy. Worthy enough to protect me. To care and love me.” 

He shakes his head to dispel the tears threatening to fall, “You are such a fool.” 

He squeezes her hand, his heart twisting when he doesn’t feel her squeeze right back, then he shifts to be closer to her. He presses a kiss on her forehead then rests his head against her temple. His nose brushes against her cheek and he sighs, taking in her sweet, calming scent. 

“It’s alright. For I’m a fool, too. We can be fools together. You and I.” He laughs, “It sounds wonderful, actually. We can live a foolish life. Doing foolish things. And, it’d be perfect. Because, you’d be there with me. And I, with you.” 

He closes his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose and letting it pass through his lips in a near whine. 

“I hope that’s what you’re lost in right now. Us. Doing foolish things. Together. You and I.” 

He whispers with a tear trailing down his cheek, “You and I.”

==============

By the time Sebastian returns, it’s the early hours of the morning. He goes towards the candle light emitting from her bedside. It’s not nearly enough to keep the shadows at bay and the dark silhouettes of his two friends sends a chill down his spine. Ominis is in a chair holding her hand and stroking her hair. He’s never seen Ominis so disheveled. His hair is pulled out of his neat, slicked-back style and his starched clothes are rumpled and wrinkled - his school robe lays over her as a poor excuse of a blanket. 

Sebastian doubts he fairs much better - feeling the sting in his eyes from straining them and refusing to let the exhaustion manifest to slow him down. Sebastian can hear the soft whispers Ominis speaks to her the closer he gets, but he can’t make out what’s being said. Sebastian hovers by the foot of her bed, unable to break Ominis from his hushed pleadings. He’s like a stranger intruding on something intimate - something not meant for him to hear.

“She’ll be transferred to St. Mungos at first light.” Ominis states, his head not even turning towards Sebastian. Sebastian closes his eyes with a deep breath - his throat impossibly constricted. 

He moves towards Ominis to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“We can save her.” He says with not an ounce of wavering in his voice.

Ominis whips his head towards him with wide, glassy eyes, “How?” 

“We can’t do it here. We need to take her to the Undercroft.” 

Ominis nods, “Very well. How do you suggest we sneak her out?” 

Sebastian is grateful Ominis isn’t fighting him on this - and he’s quick to cast the Hover Charm on her once again. 

“Quickly. Before anyone sees.” Sebastian takes the lead, with Ominis trailing behind. 

They arrive at the Undercroft and place her down in the middle of the circle Sebastian has prepared. Ominis smells the distinct stench of incense in the air and he frowns.

“What is it we’re going to do?” 

Sebastian guides Ominis to kneel right by her head.

“It’s you. It has to be you, Ominis. You’re the only one who can save her.” Sebastian states. 

“Me? H-How?” Ominis reaches out in front of him until his fingers nestle in her hair. 

Sebastian takes his place next to Ominis, “You have to reach into her mind, find where she is, and then guide her out of the charm.”

Ominis shakes his head, “No. No, I can’t.”

“You’re the only one who can.”

Ominis wants to object, but Sebastian places a strong hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way, Ominis.” Sebastian says. “You can do this. I know you can. She does too.” 

Ominis lets out a sharp exhale and he moves her head to rest on his thighs. He traces along her cheeks and jawline before he gives a short nod.

“I’ll try.” He whispers. 

Sebastian grins for a moment, “I’ve drawn a grounding circle around us to protect you from getting lost in there as well.”

“A grounding circle?” Ominis grimaces. “Sebastian, this doesn’t sound-,”

“Yes! Alright, yes.” Sebastian snaps. “This is experimental magic we’re doing - and it might not even work - but it’s all we got.” 

Ominis takes a deep breath as he closes his eyes, “Is there anything else I need to do?” 

“Just find her.” 

Ominis swallows down the apprehension, the fear, and the doubts. She needs him. And he won’t abandon her now. He takes another deep breath then searches for her eyes until he feels something tugging on him. 

He’s not greeted with the normal familiarity of her emotions. Instead, it’s an empty, stillness. It would be enough to send him reeling away, but he refuses to leave. Not without her. The more he feels around in the empty confines, he begins to notice there’s slight tears within this place. He reaches out and rips the veil apart. 

A slew of memories rush over him. He’s tossed around from one to the next and just when he’s beginning to understand what he’s seeing, he’s jerked to the next one - all fresh memories from the past few days. He has to watch as she tries to go to him, only for him to turn away from her - again and again and again. Each one hurts more and more, but he refuses to pull away. 

He keeps going even though his head feels like it’s being split into tiny pieces. 

He catches voices - Sebastian and her speaking. Then the voices of the men who attacked them. She didn’t even hesitate to move in front of him - all to protect him. How she still loves him, even though he said such horrible things to her not but mere moments ago is not something he quite understands. How could she be so…

Love. 

It speaks to him and the torrent he’s in slowly dies down as he focuses hard on the warm feeling. More images shift past him until finally it stays on just one, singular memory. 

The sun peers through the autumn leaves. Golds, reds, oranges, and browns are all in front of him. He blinks several times, nearly retreating from the overwhelming sight. It’s almost too much. All these colors swirl around him and it takes his breath away. He reaches out to grab the leaves as they flutter past, but they pass right through him as if he were no more than an apparition. He’s lost in absorbing the sights around him - walking along a stone path as he takes it all in. The chilled air and distant bird song brings him solace and the memory wraps around him like a warm blanket on a cold, winter’s night. Whatever this memory is, it’s important and it's like he’s been here numerous times before with how at home he feels.

He hears her soft laughter and he’s harshly reminded as to why he’s here. He sprints right towards it - going around bends and following the path until he finds two people walking next to each other. 

A boy with slicked-backed brownish-blonde hair wearing a black and emerald school robe and a girl in a similar black robe as the boy. The boy’s sightless gaze is in front of him - his head craned towards the girl next to him- and his wand emits a pulsing red glow. Ominis can’t believe he sees himself. More importantly, he can’t believe he sees her.

The sun casts a soft glow upon her smiling face and her shining hair. She keeps looking over at the boy - over at him - and every time, a warm smile tugs on her lips. He’s amazed at being able to see this smile reach all the way to her eyes - making them sparkle and shimmer. It’s enough to send his heart hammering in his chest as he watches them. He finds himself enamored with every little detail about her. Even the way she walks and moves her hands as she talks is captivating.  

He knows this day. 

They’re walking back from Hogsmeade. Long before they ever admitted to one another their feelings. Although he knew she looked at him often, he never imagined it was with such adoration. And the way her smile entangles in every word, it’s a wonder he didn’t piece it together sooner. He’s like a bystander as he watches them - they’re moving, yet they’re going nowhere and if he doesn’t keep his concentration on where he is, he finds himself looking through her eyes instead. A very disorienting sensation. 

He sees himself talking, but the words are distorted and cut in and out. He notices the woods around them are starting to get blurry and it’s all beginning to fade away. 

He concentrates until the memory comes back into focus with sharper clarity. They continue walking down the path and he goes to follow. He calls out her name, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He tries once more, yet again, nothing - not even a whisper. They’re walking away from him now and he’s running in place.

‘No. Come back! Don’t leave!’ He screams, but no sound comes out. He’s slipping and losing his grasp of this memory.

He won’t let her go. He digs within himself to compel the words to be uttered with every ounce of strength he has. 

Her name reverberates in a great shout and she stops walking. She turns to face him, the real him, and her eyes widen.

“Ominis?” She whispers. 

He laughs in both relief and disbelief. He runs towards her - his hand outstretched, “Yes. Please. Don’t go. Come with me.” 

She cranes her head and takes a step towards him with a slight smile until a voice cuts through:

“I want nothing to do with you!”

“Leave me alone!” 

“Get your hand off of me!” 

The memory begins to distort as she grimaces - backing away from him. The words keep repeating in a horrible mantra. It’s deafening and it makes him sick to hear his own vile words again and again.

“You’re not real.” She says, blinking back tears. “None of this is real.”

“Wait!” Ominis calls to her, but she’s already running away. 

No, no, no, she’s slipping from his grasp - then she may very well be forever lost. Something ignites within him - a sudden surge of control and power unlike anything he’s felt before and - with great effort - he forces everything to cease. The echoes of his words silence and the world around them fades until it’s just them in a dark, empty space. She turns towards him while he all but rushes to her. 

“Don’t go.” He cries. “Please. Come back.” 

She shakes her head while she steps away from him, “No. No, I don’t want to go back.”

“No, wait! Don’t leave me. I-I need you.” He pleads. 

He wants to go to her, but his feet refuse to lift. Some force is keeping him at bay. 

“I hurt you, Ominis. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I ruined everything.” She cries. “At least here, I can pretend. I can go back to how it was.” Her lip quivers and it breaks his heart to see her so upset. 

“You haven’t ruined anything, my love.” He whispers with a pleading expression. “It’s I who’s done that. I never should’ve pushed you away.”

He lowers his head, “I’ve been acting like that scared little boy that Marvolo would take toys from. The one Father would torment by ripping apart my mind. The son, a mother, so desperately wants to fix.”

He lets out a shuddering breath as he whispers, “It was easier to accept that you had ill-intent towards me than the truth.” 

She shakes her head, “The truth?”

He finds it impossible to look at her awaiting face, but he does. He knows he has to.

“It frightened me to see into your mind. Because, I wanted more. I wanted to see more. I wanted to be just like Father, and tear into your memories to make them all mine.”

He gasps at the truth leaving his lips. He stares at her as she stares back at him. He wishes he could understand the expression written upon her face. But, he doesn’t. All he can do is wait for her to speak.

She steps closer to him, “You are not your father, Ominis. And I’m so deeply sorry I put you in a position which made you feel even remotely like that. I never should have pushed you into doing what I believed you should want.”

He shakes his head with a bitter laugh, “If you hadn’t been so adamant on me learning how to do this, I wouldn’t be here right now. And you would be lost to me. And,” he looks at her with a wide smile, “I wouldn’t be able to see you now. Nor that beautiful memory.”

She lets out a near cry and her sweet smile brings him unfathomable joy. 

He steps towards her, “I’m not my father - I don’t have to use this ability the same way he does. I understand that now. This is, indeed, a gift. And I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

Her features morph into an earnest, pleading expression.

“This was never a means to fix you, Ominis. I don’t want to fix you.” She whispers. “I love who you are. And I’m so sorry if I made it seem otherwise.”

He smiles as he nods emphatically, “I know. And I was such a fool to believe otherwise. You didn’t deserve that.”

She beams with a slight laugh, “We’ve both been fools, haven’t we?” 

“I’m afraid we have.” He laughs. “So, please,” he holds out his hand towards her, “come back with me, love. Come back.”

She glances between his outstretched hand and him. A warm smile comes over her.

She closes the space between them and embraces him. He lets out a gasp at how close he feels to her - far closer than he has before - as he embraces her just as fiercely back. He senses something tethering to him. It’s trying to bond with him. It’s a magic he’s never experienced before, but he knows it’s stemming from her. He lets it tangle around him and the dark place they’re in begins to shatter.

Ominis gasps, reeling from the experience, and he has to gather himself. He blinks several times, a frown forming at his sight being normal once more.

“Ominis! Are you alright? Did it work?” Sebastian grips Ominis’ arm while Sebastian’s gaze is firmly locked on her. Ominis’ hands feel over her unmoving face and his frown deepens. 

“I-I don’t know.”

She jolts up with an audible breath before she falls back into his lap. Sebastian laughs, shaking Ominis as she blinks up at both of them in confusion. 

“O-Ominis?” She mumbles and her brows pinch together. “Oh, Ominis. You look like you’ve been romped by a herd of Puffskeins.” 

Ominis chuckles, his relief palpable, “That would’ve been far more preferable. Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice.”

She stares at Ominis with wide eyes. 

“So that was real.” She whispers with a wide smile as Ominis nods. He strokes her cheeks and she holds onto one of his wrists to ensure he stays right there.

 She turns her head towards Sebastian, “If this was your grand idea to get us back together,” she laughs, “well, I suppose it could’ve been worse.” 

Her eyes flutter shut with a groan,  “Although, my head is certainly killing me.”

Sebastian - unable to retort with a witty response - holds her free hand with a chuckle. Ominis leans his head against Sebastian’s shoulder, in both relief and exhaustion, while she glances between the two tear-stricken, grinning boys with a grin. 

“It’s so good to see you awake.” Sebastian smiles. “We were worried one of us was gonna have to slap you until you finally came to your senses.” 

She giggles, “Thank goodness it was unnecessary.” 

Ominis lets out a sharp laugh, “All thanks to you, Sebastian. None of this would’ve worked without you. Thank you.” 

“Anytime.” Sebastian grins at both of his friends, alive and well, with unmasked relief. Ominis plays with her hair with a warm smile while she looks up at Ominis with such adoration, it’s enough to churn Sebastian’s stomach from their sweetness. 

“So, let’s discuss my reward. I take many forms of gratitude.” Sebastian smirks. “Butterbeers. Doing my homework. Answers to next week’s test. I’m open to most ideas.” 

Ominis chuckles, “I’ll get you a whole keg of Butterbeer for what you’ve done.” 

“I’ll hold you to that.” Sebastian says. 

=================================

Ominis leans his head onto hers as they slowly stroll along the rickety, old, long bridge by the Clocktower Courtyard. She plays with his hand - intertwining their fingers together then releasing them to hold his hand, only to tangle them once again. 

“When do you expect to return?” He wonders.

“By this evening. I’ll try not to take too long.” She squeezes his hand. 

He hums, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

She smiles as they reach the end of the bridge and she turns to face him, “And I’ll be looking forward to seeing you.” 

He’s still captivated by the sight of what his wand paints of her. Like waves crashing to shore or a crackling inferno, magic rolls over her body in a steady hum. It’s electric and fiery - unbridled energy which sparks and ignites across her. He wonders if the pulsing is in time with her heartbeats as it thrums to a gentle beat. It’s breathtaking and he’s the only one who can see her like this - and he’s forever grateful his wand has adjusted to this new connection between them.

He cups her cheek with a soft smile, “I hope you don’t run into too much trouble, love. I do rather like you unharmed, and intact.”

She laughs, “Don’t fret. I promise to return just as I left.” 

He leans down and places a heated kiss on her awaiting lips, one which takes her breath away and leaves her wanting for more. It’s a brilliant supernova in her mind as he intertwines himself with her. She feels his lips on hers, but also her lips on his. For a brief moment, they are one. The sensation dies down as he parts, but his presence doesn’t fully leave her. She sees the strands of Ancient Magic tangled around him - glowing in a vibrant radiance as it stretches all the way to her. She wonders if he regrets it. This bond he’s been forced to share with her. He silences the thought before it can fully form with another deep kiss. 

“Do be careful.” He whispers against her lips with a sweet smile.

“I will.” She steps away from him before he can lure her back into his embrace. She summons her broom - sparing him one final, loving glance - then she takes off. 

He sucks in a sharp breath at her departure. If he concentrates, he can feel the wind in her hair and against her face. Whatever bond they had created in the confines of her mind, has not dimmed, but flourished. And as she flies further from him, he can find her like his guiding star. And he smiles - turning back to the castle to await her return.

--------------------------

AN: i like the idea of Ominis' mom being far different from his father and brother. Meaning, I want his mom to be a type of devouring mother where she manipulates you into believing she's only doing what's 'best' for you. idk, i can just see her being very sweet and doting in a twisted kind of way. like ripping out her son's eyeballs to 'help' him.

also, hope the magic bond and legilimency mind shit wasn't TOO weird. idk, i like the idea of magic bonds and Ominis' wand being able to detect her in his own special way. and ancient magic seems like a pure form of magic for this to be viable.

ALSO ALSO, is it Ominis' or Ominis's???? i might blow up my computer and then my local walmart on minecraft if it's the latter. I was told if a word ends in an s, then you don't add the 's. idk im not an english expert. im a dumb idiot writing mediocre fanfiction.

Any feedback is appreciated and wanted! I love hearing from y'all and thanks for reading <3

[11queensupreme11]

oohh how about the powerscaling? since the pjo gods are a lot stronger than the ror ones, besides the semi immortality of the rors, are you giving them the same powers? sorry for the many questions 😅 separating 3 different canon, myths ror and pjo, are just a bit confusing

im not a powerscaler but lemme just tell you this

I haaaaaated how the ror gods were not very... god-like?? like, first of all, why is their blood RED? where is the ICHOR??? second of all, WHY WERE THEIR POWERS SO LIMITED??

It seems to me that every character was designed to only have one ability, even the gods. adam had his mimicry, zeus had his weird form stuff, etc etc. the gods didn't even use any of their actual powers from their actual domains (like poseidon not using water, hades not controlling the dead, zeus not using lightning etc)

i def like the way rick wrote the gods cuz not only were they powerful, but they were actually GODLY compared to the ror verse.

but on the other hand, the ror gods have those crazy ass feats that you only ever see in shonen and seinen animes.

for example, adam and zeus' speed feats. those guys were moving so fast that the other gods couldn't even see it. according to the manga, adam surpassed a move that surpassed time, i don't think any character in pjo can do that. hell, even the ror humans are more physically enhanced compared to the demigods in rick's books.

(but another thing that irks me is how inconsistent the manga was with the gods. the narrator goes on about how powerful the gods are, and how this god and that god can destroy planets, etc. but then... they say shiva's dance can burn the universe, but it was like a lil fireball against raiden smh 🙄)

anime/manga speed feats, strength feats, durability feats, etc. almost always beats any physical feats written in books because mangaka's looove to make characters so ridiculously OP lmaooo. in the pjo books, the characters' abilities are very underwhelming if you compare it to the physical feats in the anime/manga like i mentioned above

one thing that really screws the pjo gods over is that they need demigods to keep themselves in existence. belief is a very important thing for the gods. they need demigods not only to do their dirty work, but they need their belief too. in the first book, the western civilization thing chiron mentioned is also hella important. they need to keep the 'heart of the western civilization' alive so they can stay alive, else they'd fade away like previous gods have

meanwhile, the ror gods do not need that. yes they are susceptible to death (they need a divine weapon tho, so killing them won't be simple), but they don't require humans or demigods to believe in them. it's shown in their genocidal nature. they can destroy all of humanity and nothing will happen to them, meanwhile if pjo gods destroyed all of humanity, they would fade away because there's nothing to keep them alive

in my fic, i will make the ror gods seem more godly (cuz they're supposed to be fucking GODS for fucks sake omg 😤).

rn, the one thing the pjo gods have over them is that their immortality is actually, you know, legit. they cannot die, only fade away. but the one thing that ror gods have over them is that they do not need humanity to keep their existence, it's why they can destroy them over and over again.

[a-v-j]

Akills and Hryxy rp-turn-to-short fic

Content warning:

Swearing, not really a polished fic so format can be a bit wonky, mentions of sex, a bit of 4th wall break, existential crisis

Written by @nyxus-nyx and me

Enjoy~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 4: Youre the first

Akills: italic

Hyryx: bold

Akills waved it off and went to stare somewhere else, scoffing at the idea that sex could be as sacred as a SOUL bond.

"Welp, good to know we have difference views and principles when it comes to that...for us, skeletons, SOUL bond is what we consider a big deal. Any skeleton unfortunate enough to be sexual just do it for shits and giggles or basic intimacy" He rambled

”I dont get it.. for halfbreeds.. we use intercorse as the moment we.. soul bond.. its.. just how we Roll..” he holds his own hand to his chest where his soul is.

“Skeletons just do it for fun hm..? Stupid..”

"your kind soul bond thru sex? Well, that's doing two things at once"

"Doesn't mean we dont do that too, sex and a bond can happen when passion peaks high enough. We can just do either just sex or bond, or both. Some skeletons dont have parts for sex so that's why the bond is the main go-to" He continues on, ignoring that slight comment.

”Mm..”

He sighs.

“What does it even feel like.?” He scratches at his chest again.

"heh"

He tilt his head down as he quietly chuckled.

"Ya gotta be specific, buddy"

”Soul bond.. I never did it to my wife.. she never deserved it but stil..”

He clenches his fist.

“Told it felt nice..”

Akills expression softens a bit as he's able to recollect what a soul bond felt like, he stares blankly for a moment as fond memories softly flashed back to him, then he got a faint image of who he was doing it with and made his mood sour. His expression changes but went on to describe it to Hryxy anyway.

"It's more than nice...it felt like a connection...overwhelming, rush-inducing, feeling of completeness, we can actually feel what we feel for each other... it's like you're able to see what's exactly inside. You'll feel a lot of emotions there, some that are even hidden from both of you. It's more than nice, it's feeling fulfilled "

Hryxy looked at Akills and chuckled.

“Sounds like you have a bit of venom in those words..”

He turns to face Akills once more.

"..heh...one of the many things robbed away from me..."

He looks back to Hryxy, his sockets void of his eyelight and expression unreadable. But his vibe indicate it was a big deal for him

”Hm.. did you ever.. find that one person who robbed you of it..?”

He crosses his arms.

"theyre watching us right now"

Hryxy twitches.

“Oh..?”

"theyre the one playing god and making me, me...i never ask to be, to be honest"

"But boy they sure do like exploring possibilities"

He stopped his leaning position and went sitting cross legged, head down, making his face hidden in the shadows.

”Well. Mine is trying to make me, sentimental.. and feel things..”

He grumbles as he grits his teeth.

“Stupid.”

)HEY-)

"its funny how we are aware of it and still play the stories set for us as if it's a real thing...kinda depressing when you think about it..."

Akills started fiddling with his fingers, not looking at anything but still under the darkness of his hood

Hryxy looks at Akills.

“We have to.. or we’ll end up being scrap.. well.. atleast me..”

Hryxy reaches over and pats Akills head.

Akills stiffens at the touch but lets it be

"Heh, id rather be scrapped, left, forgotten. And i don't mean killing myself, it's more like wishing there were never a trace of me ever. It suck to be who i am"

"Pretty sure you feel the same...being thrown in unnecessary angst for the sake of a "what-if"..."

”Yeah. That atleast my whole life.. hated it.. but gotta live through it.. well for me to die through it and grow rotten..”

He laughs a lil rubbing his hooded skull.

“But bud, im not good with.. ‘comfort’ but atleast.. use that anger or hopelessness on thing that drive you.. well.. crazy.. that works for some of us atleast..”

Akills laughs bitterly

"What do you think im doing. Im killing myself off frame by frame. I know it's hopeless. But...

It gives me a sense of purpose.

Even if it's a fake one.

I know for sure i wont be scrapped like those fortunate enough to be uninteresting, might as well take some of what's coming for me"

"Cant exactly fight god, they could let me but it'll never be real. Dont exactly have a choice but play by their rules, pretend i mean what i am and forget all this is just play...

Heh

Sorry, it's getting existentially heavy" 

Hryxy sighs and grabs Akills and pulls him into a bear hug. “Dont say shit.. just fuckin calm down.. not the end of our worlds yet..”

He grits his teeth wanting to scratch his chest but he protests it.

“Not everyday meetin someone.. who wanted to ring you of your spine then get sentimental.. huh?”

Perhaps forgetting the heavy things is therapeutic, he always been doin it and it felt more better to be in character than feel like shit for being aware of being a character.

Akills would usually kill for the unwanted hug but this one felt right. Felt like a kind that actually gets where his coming from and that it indeed appropriate for the situation. He accepts it

"Heh, nope, youre the first"

(End rp?)

"God, fckn finally"

(Or ya wanna add Hryxy's response?)

"Oh ffs"

(we can end it buddy.)

“Lol.”

The end :D

[astro-naut9]

I know nothing about your OCs, so consider this a request for any infodumps about any characters you feel like talking about.

Educate me about your lil' guys.

OH BROOOTHHERRRR OK SO !!! PREPARE TO READ VERY CONFUSING STUFF !! and trigger warnings for mentions of self-sabotaging and anything related to it.

this is Francis Wry !!

They're 16 and they use he/she/they pronouns! Their identity is loosely based off of me but so are my other characters tbh. ANYWAY!! He's a very chaotic person but also very caring towards his friends (alex)! They love destruction and they also love peace, which makes his morals questionable. Francis will do anything for his wants, as long as it doesn't affect his friends at all. He will go through lengths for it (will include self sacrifices and world destruction). BUT!! overall, he's not too complicated to understand. jsut that friends > others

ANYWAY !! story time

Francis, was legally named Vanessa, was born in a poor family of three (including him). She spent her time ltierally working for her family. anyway, no, she did not live with peace when she was with her family. BUT, she did find a friend, Neil, when they were both 7 years old and then they grew up together cuz their family is friends with each other and they have the same hobbies. (unfortunately i dont have pics of them tgt) however, this did not cure francis' depression (she didnt know she had it), so yeah !! anyway, long story short she unalived herself by jumping off a building BUT GUESS WHAT !!!! SHE DIED, BUT SHE GOT REVIVED !! TO ANOTHER WOOOORRLLLDDD !!!

with that process, lets go to the revival thingy first.

in order for people to be revived, alien scientists grab their wandering souls in their planet and bring them outside the universe (to the multiverse) where a rogue sun and planet travel. The souls are then magically revived by a god who the alien scientists had held hostage (the god does not mind the reviving too much, however, he wishes for them to treat him kinder). ANYWAY, the aliens then take dna from the deceased bodies and put it in a cloning machine.

no, the scientists does not care who they revive. it is for the sake of experiment.

so, that implies Francis was taken as an experiment :3

niszen is the scientist in charge of him. they have some sort of sibling bond as the scientists are tasked to act very kind to the subjects as a manipulation tactic, so their relationship is either genuine or just a hoax. Anyway, you could tell what francis went thru with the experiments as it had always been painful and exhausting. then one day he couldnt take it anymore and js went batshit crazy. with the mix of other dnas mixed in his blood, his strength and abilities were a bit crazy. with that, francis escaped from his cell and went to the fuel room. he grabbed jugs of gasoline and poured it eevrywhere he went. the aliens had a room filled with stuffs that are alien to them which was where he found the match box. this then led to him burning down the laboratory, causing it to explode yada yada. (there are details i didnt include because it will take this very long)

then he proceeded to live in the wild. since the planet, Astrylis, was made for the preference of different species, the woods was js like the woods from the Earth. anyway, he lived there for like 2 weeks until a grandma saw him and then helped him with ways and stuff. then he was exposed to the outside world after 4 months of in denial.

then he met uhh Alex!!

alex was 14 when they were 13 !! then they uh became best friends for 4 years (present time, which is 6036). anyway, i actually have no more to add unless im asked about specific things auuughgh but

anyways here are some of the uhh arts w them :33

i have more ocs but,, idrk,, i cant seem to describe some stuff without the questions beign specific for some reason??? but hey i hope i did give u a little about my guy here !!

[dollivication]

i might as well start using an emoji omfg i yap sm.. > <

but but but YEA camboy!dante does get attached to a certain viewer.. and ofc its loser!user bc we need loser representation.. theyre one of his very first patreons too so he kind of knows them (by username ofc skfjdj) they never miss his streams and ALWAYS give him good amounts of money.. hes thriving

also theyre the first person to ever purchase his crazy overpriced fuck package too!! so hes pretty excited to met and fuck his number one fan skfjkwdk

when they met at a motel or smth hes rlly surprised bc.. theyre so cute?? theyre like all shy and shit.. squirming.. whiny.. blushy.. he feels like going insane. ofc he records all that shit and maybe.. maybe.. a few shots of user for himself bc he kinda likes them a lil too much (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈ )

now its HIM 🫵 sending user dms and asking them to feature him on a vid.. he swears that its for the sake of his content!!! for variety purposes!! but hes lying lol he js wanna get freaky w user:333

on a silly note id say that vergil creates accounts js to give dante bad reviews out of spite. smth like “this man scammed me. please. delete his account immediately. thanks.” if he knew how to use a phone and create an acc that is (っ- ‸ - ς)

— 🍓

OML… WELCOME TO THE FRIENDS LIST 🍓NON!! i’m negl i was like excited 4 u to become a part of the list… laik ur thoughts r so yumyum..;;;… ૮꒰ ˶> ༝ <˶꒱ა

oh my goonness gracious… LOSER!USER FOR THE WIN!! he’s such a silly goose.. laik ofc he’ll happily greet viewers as they come into the stream, but he greets user with a certain enthusiasm it’s not hard to tell this man has a fav…. always lights up when he sees his no. 1 fan hihi >.<

he is sooooo nasty to them idk, he’s like teasing them while simultaneously getting drunk off the way their body reacts to his touches :3 there’s no way he’s gonna just brush u off as another viewer after this… like uhmmm don’t mind him as he takes out his phone to record ur face, it’s just… (he doesn’t explain and just goes harder to make u focus on his cock instead LMFAO)

THE POINTING EMOJI KILLED ME… LIKE YES!!! he’ll be the one reaching out under the guise of needing somewan in his videos !! like don’t even worry abt it bbg just say yes! and user ofc accepts bc it’s a free opportunity 4 mo demon dick JAJSJS

IACTUALLY LET OUR A LAUGH AT THE LAST BIT.. god forbid vergil learns how to use technology bc he’s gonna be shitting on dante 24/7… “mods ban him” headass IM CRYIGN

[necro-hamster]

9 12 18 22 !! fallout and/or fc5

( this post )

9) worst part of canon

for fc5 i'd have to go w the endings, touched on it in a previous response but i think they both suck ass tbh. i end up just making up my own shit.

for fallout..... well that's a hard one because fallout's canon isn't very good. and has a lot of weird shit in it. i mean honestly i could just broadly gesture at all of it. fo has So Many Problems. but to point out smth specific, the way ghouls are handled comes to mind almost immediately. tons of missed potential and a lot of inconsistencies. wtf was up with the ghoul kid in the fridge?? lil man was NOT in there for 200 years. his ass would've fucking died. they still have to like. eat and stuff. plus it's just weird how 200 years post nuke ppl are still like EWWW AN IRRADIATED PERSON!!! like? bro you're all fucking irradiated. i know about your 11th toe and that weird spot on your butt cheek. you'd think ppl would get used to it by then. i get that obviously hatred of groups like that doesnt just go away over time magically but it just feels unrealistic the way they handle it. also boring.

i guess if you want an easier answer then i think it's stupid that the brotherhood of steel is still going strong on the east coast lol

12) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

grinding my teeth together. preston garvey for fallout. i will defend him until the day i fucking die. i'm convinced that the reason so many ppl hate his ass and are annoyed by his very presence is bc he's black idc. kiss my ass. he's my best friend.

also!! raul!!!! nobody ever fucking talks abt him but he's my FAVORITE new vegas oc. i think if he looked more fuckable ppl would pay more attention to him honestly 🙄

for fc5. hurk jr. the only reason ppl don't give him as much attention as sharky is because he's fat. idc. i will stand by this until the day i die. but i guess i'll fuck him since everyone else is a coward about it

18) it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

CODSWORTH. it's criminal that bethesda's lazy asses slept on him too!!! he's got SO MUCH potential as a character but they didnt even give him a side quest???? i need yall to integrate him into your sole's story more PLEEEAAAASE. also raul again lol

far cry 5 im absolutely gonna have to say faith, she's so interesting but gets pushed aside so often and it pisses me off to no end. but that's the boring answer. that's the answer everyone expects. so i'm also gonna point out that i think it's super lame how so few ppl actually focus in on the cult and what average ppl were going thru inside of it. because, like, this isnt just Fascist Murderers or Literal Human Traffickers like the other games. they're cult members. many of them are victims of this shit too. obviously some of em were definitely just having fun killing ppl but like there were prolly a ton of ppl who were also just normal folks in desperate need of help and community and they ended up here. please have more discussions abt this shit.

22) your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

for fallout, prolly civilization as a whole? specifically settlements/cities/towns/etc. a lot of ppl focus on being Alone In The Wastes (which is fun and cool) but i rlly like that we see time and time again that society has rebuilt in plenty of places. there's a city on a boat for gods sake. can we talk abt that shit more pls pls pls pls.

for fc5..... god. again my mind just turns toward faith and her craziness. ppl hate talking abt how much of a freak she is. so ig i'll go with the environment. how hope county is a rural place and the way that must've shaped many of the characters, including ocs who are from there. yall dont get it 😩😩😩

[saetoshis]

Ship your moots💕💕!!! Alsooo when is your birthday ??

WAHH IT'S MY TURN?? YAYY eeek! my bday is oct. 26, so vv soon!!!

apologies if i forgot anyone SOBSOBB i prommy i'll try to get everybody >_< n' i wanna do non-normative ones!! nothin too CRAZY obvious, but if i pick ones that are just not ur taste, forgive me LMFAO 🤗

@peachyuuji

kels!! i don't interact w you much sobsob i wanna more!! but i think chifuyu or megumi!! idk for some reason they just came to mind!

@inumaki-i

emily!! we just rlly started talking but it seems like u like shy guys so tbh... i kinda picture you with giyuu or yuki (from fruits basket) for that reason!!

@fvckme-sir

i'd say eren but tbh!! to stray away from the obvious, i'm thinkin' douma for you my friend. he's so teasy n condescending, fits in rlly well w your tastes !!!

@munsonsins

ABBY!! ur so bubbly n kind hearted!! sooo i think i picture you most with ayato or nanami! just bcuz they're so serious, you're good for them! like cmon, take a break n be playful for god's sake 😋

@sanomnjiro

AUDRI !! this is like a super new mutual situation BUT! u seem so goofy n lighthearted!! i think i picture u a lot with chrollo or maybe loid forger cause of their seriousness! it balances i think 😁

@ghxstic

nymphie !! i can see you with gyuutarou or akaza !! like super caring men but also batshit insane is the vibe i get 🤗

@pcwer

XELLLL see... i think i see u with yoriichi ?? or even kagaya??? cuz i feel like they're good at reeling you in n being a calming rock for you :P

@lawscorazon

ARESS !! for you, i'd say todo (jjk) or maybe kidd... big cocky men is what i picture with you ehehe

@httphaitani

apollo !!! tbh i see you with chrollo or mitsuya! i just picture you guys going to museums together or enjoying theatre

@luvbladez

KATAA ! omfgfg i see you with diluc for sure! serious man that complains all the time, i think ur bubbly self would be good for him ehe

@suyacho

SNOWWW tbh !! i see you with suna or osamu miya from haikyuu!! romantic, kinda shy boys i just kinda get that vibe idk!!

@the-witch-of-one-piece

VAL !! other than marco, i might even say kisaki from tokyo revengers just because they kinda look VERY alike?? but also i see you with sweet koby too!!

@killsaki

dallas !! ofc i'd say kisaki, but i'm gonna go out on a limb and say sanemi instead... you seem to like aggressive men /pos n' he DEF fits that description

@cherrykamado

CHERRY !! instead of tanji i'm gonna ship you with tengen !! big big man, super big heart, loves u vv much !!

@aveegrex

AVEX ! i could see you with sakusa kiyoomi from haikyuu, or nanami ! i couldn't even explain it, i just get that vibe yk??

@getoswhore

BELLA TBH... other than me, i ship you with shigure from fruits basket or kambe daisuke from millionaire detective, just cuz u seem to like men that have a lil bit of crazy in them 😻

@donvampiro

DON !!! i see you with nami or mitsuri from demon slayer !! just super sweet girls, love being doted on and love doting on you !! but in reality i ship u with me 🤗

@divilyn

CADIEEE ngl i see you with getou from jjk... just cuz u definitely have a thing for mentally insane men 😋

@vlyxen

VLYNN OMFG i see you with itto absolutely, big big man with a sweet heart just seems right for u hehe

@sleepy3

SLEEPY !! i absolutely see you with gyomei or asahi from haikyuu! big sweet men who love u very much :P

@tsunderedoctor

PURPLE ! i hate to say something other than law bc law n you are CANON, but i'd put you with kageyama tobio from haikyuu! just because he's kinda shy, n definitely always complaining abt something ehe, seems like ur type :P

@xiaophoric

NEPPY IM NOT GONNA LIE ! i think zhongli or even silva zoldyck, idk why?? they just seem right?? like big n old men idk why i get that vibe 😁

@kxkyuu

KIREII !! tbh i see you with gintoki, he's so goofy, sweet n has strong morals ! he just seems like your type i think !!

@garoujo

idk why but emmie!! i see you with connie from aot, like goofy yet superrr sweet men is what i see with you! big protector energy

@bvnnichuu

BUNNI !! i totally see you with hinata shoyo. it's just his super sweet attitude n he's so doting n loving!! def a good match i think

@vilsoo

BEST FOR LAST OMG JES !! listen listen i totally see you with chrollo or toji!! idk what it is, but strong n just slightly crazy men is what i see with u!!

[spooki-ghoztzz]

hii uh sonic anon, again, pls tell me if im requesting too much i dont wanna be annoying

anyhow may i request headcanons for william and dave (blueycapsules) with a non-human or shapeshifter gender neutral s/o?

( i’m sorry if these are somewhat short- i didn’t have many ideas for this at all- i’m gonna stick with the shapeshifter s/o idea! )

Y’all probably met at the pizzeria but to be honest i bet y’all met cause you joked around and shapeshifted into him. He was walking his way to get some tang from the vending machine till he saw..himself? He stood there as he stared at you,this..wasn’t the first strange thing he’s saw before but seeing himself was a bit stranger than usual. Once you gave in since you just couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction of him staring all wide eyed and such he just sighed. “Yeah,now fock off ye twat..you aren’t funny.” “It was funny though!” “No,it wasn’t.” Was all he said as he got his tang and left you standing there.

When you two finally got together he HATED how you shifted into him to fuck with his head,thinking he was going crazy or something- sometimes to be a dick you’d shift into one of the animatronics which just made him mad at you the whole day. (he’d never explain why he freaks out to you but it’s for your sake-)

Tbh he’s sour as hell with you cause you can shapeshift,you’ve messed with him more than once and dear god it gets on his nerves-

He’s okay with shapeshifting when he isn’t around,it honestly scares him because he doesn’t know what who or what you’d pick next- he doesn’t hate you it’s more of the fact that he’s paranoid. He loves you to death but please warn him if you ever do it-

He ran into you whenever he was going to take the trash out to the dumpster,well..putting it next to it anyways till he saw something that looked like a cat. “Awwhh,hey there lil fella! c’mere-”As soon as he lifted you up you poofed back into yourself,making him fall back.”WHAT THE FOCK- i mean..howdy there!” “..Hi.”

He loves the fact you can shapeshift,he finds it cool plus it’s kinda helpful! If he needs something from a high shelf he’d ask you to help him grab it by shifting into someone or thing tall. He’d always thank you for it also-

He does freak out a bit when you jokingly shift into him though till he just stares at you till you start having a giggle fit and hugging him as you shift into yourself.”Told ya,can’t keep a straight face around me!” “Pff- love you too,dork!”

He’d never force you to shapeshift into anything unless he’s asking for a favor. He’d hate to make you feel like he was just using you cause of your abilities.

[ushiwakaout]

I just read your story about kenma as a husband and im OBSESSED. Can you do the same but with Kuroo please! I love them both and i cant chose so- :)))

I cant choose either don’t worry (i’m a kenma kinny so like... you know)

HUSBAND KUROO IS A BLESSING GOD

let’s just say you’re a highschool teacher

for the sake of the headcannon, you wear glasses to read

very outgoing

very flaunty husband

very flirty, acts as if you guys aren’t married and still trying to reel you into his hook

Wakes up very very early

Maybe like 5 am, works out, rare occasion will wake you up too if he’s feeling like a jerk

if he doesn’t wake you up, he’s back from his run and he’s bought you flowers, will willingly cut his run short so he doesn’t ruin the flowers

KUROO IS AN AMAZING COOK

does not look like it tho, first time he cooked for you- wow, crazy good

breakfast in bed when you have the day of (which are weekends)

Kuroo doesn’t have a day off but his mornings are always free, for you and you only.

He’s the type of husband who you catch making breakfast and he’s dancing, wearing a kiss your sempai apron

“oh no no, you go back to bed, i’m making you breakfast, shoo.”

will tap your ass so you leave the kitchen faster

his brain malfunctions just a lil in the kitchen when realized that you’re only wearing his button up and his button up only

blushing mess while cooking

HE GETS A LITTLE SHY FOR NO REASON WHEN HES BRINGING YOU BREKFAST

You’re fully awake and already looking through homework with you’re cute little glasses that make your eyes look a little bit bigger

he’s so in awe with you, he puts the little breakfast tray over you and kisses your nose

“Goodmorning sweets.”

Doesn’t call you kitten but calls you sweety, sweets, sugar, shortcake. HONEY, SUNSHINE.

He will not bother you if you’re doing paperwork

Believe it or not Kuroo very much likes peace and quiet

because you know, his bed head is bc hed cover his ear w his hair to try and muffle out his parents arguing sorry

Will not argue with you

PHYSICALLY WILL NOT AS MUCH AS HE WANTS TO

you could be yelling at him over something (most likely because kuroo is def burnt out a little and gets no sleep) and you’re just looking up at him and he can’t look away

Will say something like “You look so beautiful.”

My heart just broke a little- Kuroo can’t argue back with you because he knows you’re right most of the time

you’ll find him asleep on his desk at 2am bc you miss cuddling and the mother fucker still wakes up at 5

will show up to your classroom with a bouquet of [favorite flowers] and all the girls in the class start squealing

kisses you behind the flowers

will plant his forehead in yours and whisper “I love you.” before apologizing and dismissing himself

this rich cocky mother fucker will also surprise you on your birthday, which would end up on a weekday.

YOURE CLASSROOM IS FULL OF FLOWERS

EVERY DESK FOR THE BOYS/GIRLS/NONB and they get to keep them

TEACHERS ARE ENVIOUS, especially the women maybe the men are too, ya never know.

he’s a certified sub teacher bc you get sick easily and will cover for you while someone covers for him at work bc he’s like- light years ahead of his work (that’s why he’s so burnt out)

SICK KUROO IS PROBABLY THE SADDEST AND MOST ADORABLE THING

It gets pretty bad when he’s late for work one day and he’s like rushing to get ready and he gets a nose bleed

he’s freaking out and you’re like “baby lay down, you have a fever, please.”

“Fever? What the fuck is a fever, never heard of them, now let me go to work.”

“Honey, don’t make me any soup, your cooking isn’t as good as mine.”

“No get away from me, i don’t want you getting sick.”

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now, give me you’re hand.”

“I love you so much, you know that right?”

Once he’s out of his fever will take you out to dinner as a thank you

Buys you a new outfit for your outing and it’s like “Kuroo come on- i don’t need this.”

“Well i need you to have it, if you complain- then you don’t love me.”

“fine....”

very jealous man, if someone eyes you

very very handsy

hand has to be on your ass, lower back, hip, holding your hand. he gotta be touching you somehow

ESPECIALLY IN WORK OUTINGS

whole new outfit again

would probably fuck you in the venue bathroom but we don’t talk about that

if he gets drunk he’s actually the opposite

he’s not horny or handsy

he gets all cute and shy and a little awkward

Will forget your his spouse and be like “No! You see this ring, that’s right! I’m married and to the most sexiest bitch you know- That’s right i called my spouse a bitch, what about it. She’s a bad bitch.”

this mother fucked have you a ruby ring, you can’t tell me otherwise.

something simple but very pretty

he’d probably think you stole your own ring

“Hey! That’s my spouses give me that”

“Kuroo I. AM. YOUR. SPOUSE. LOOK AT ME!”

squints bc this motherfucker actually needs glasses “BABY!! There was some crazy person, who looked just like you! Same exact ring and everything.”

“Baby that was me, you called me a bad bitch.”

“Yeah? Am i wrong? or?”

Big cuddler

Will kiss you everywhere

“Baby, kenma hasn’t called me today, does he hate me?”

“No kuroo.”

“Are you sure?”

“Baby i’m sure.”

You make kenma come the next day because you know Kuroo needs his bestie

they get drunk

Kenma gets cuddly too

they will sleep on the floor together

You make kuroo cary kenma to bed bc he things it’s you and he sleeps w him

wakes up to yell at you and very hung over

“Sometimes i think you wish i married kenma.”

“You’re not wrong.”

OVERALL kuroo as a husband is... *chef kiss*

[newtonsheffield]

Hii molly! I know you officialy ask me for this (lol) but I still so very annoying doing it, i have to say ive been in bed not feeling so well these last days im very thankful i have all of this to read, otherwise id be very bored so thank you for creating all of this!! so im here to tell you some of my favourite moments of the bscu chapters i read so far 1) motherhood: i loved mary meeting little katie and her immediatly asking for a corgi i feel that but my fav moment definately was Mary being very worried about Edwina but also wanting to know the status of Kate and Anthony's relationship, peak comedy 2) Menace: jealous Anthony obsessed with Kate's legs but honorable mention to "yeah, Anthony, flirt with Kate later" AND "for god's sake Anthony! I'm going to lose all of my money if you keep this up" 3) Dog: ALL OF IT, but especially "He was very well aware the kind of friend this Anthony wanted to be, and from what Newton could see, he certainly wasn’t good enough for Katie." 4/5) Father/Children: also all of it give me all the domestic feels of kate and anthony raising their chaotic children 6) Tension: “It’s fine, Sheffield, you saw me naked and now you regret not doing anything about it. It’s a very common occurrence amongst people of your sex.” [...] Kate heard a startled gasp to her right.

“He was in a towel, Cynthia!” again, peak comedy!! There you go. Also, i was listening to folklore and evermore, as one does, and i couldn't stop thinking of Royals while listening to Exile, like Kate and Anthony singing it to each other, both full of angst? No? Am i too crazy? Maybe. Anyways, I hope you are well, bye!

Hello my friend!

I'm sorry to hear you've been sick, but very glad you enjoyed reading while you were. TBH, I'm already thinking about calling in sick to work tomorrow. I'm not sick, I just don't want to go.

Now!

1) I have to say, Motherhood is one of the more disappointing fics for me in this series. And I'm not sure why? I just wanted it to be a bit different. And it wasn't unfortunately, but there are some very sweet moments in there. I love Mary, in all of her iterations, even as an Angry Queen Regent who wants to beat Anthony away from her child with a stick. Mary being like "Focus, Mary, Edwina might be dying! But also, What is going on???? my lord he is handsome, their children would be beautiful!!!!!!!" Is a huge mood

2) Gregory is exasperated with Anthony at this point. He's like "I have tried so hard!!! Kate's amazing get your head out of your arse please!!!"

3) More Dog is coming this week! It'll be called Puppies

6) Cynthia is my spirit animal. She is thriving on this soap opera playing out in front of her. Lucy called her and Cynthia thought "You know what? I am gonna give myself a little treat at work this week, I deserve it!"

I hadn't thought about Exile as a Kathony song! I'm gonna have to do a listen. I think the Royals playlist is obviously pretty different to my other ones, but it's definitely it's own vibe. I kind of love how messy they are. And coming up this week, There's actually not going to be any Anthony. Just Kate trying to figure out a few things, and a bit of angst between her and Mary. And Edwina, Sophie, and Kate have a lil bit of a chat about how their lives are going. And How Sophie seems a little too drawn to a certain photographer.

[just-a-fangirl13]

Why s5 *might* be the season MacRiley happens

Okay so...Hear me out! I'm not crazy I promise!!

Firstly, after 5x03 (and probably 5x04) it may seem very unlikely that MacRiley could ever happen. But I thought of a few reasons why they might actually happen by the end of s5 after all.... (it gets a lil long winded and kinda complicated but just stick with me till the end!)

1. All the MacRiley moments including the ones in 5x03.

[this Mac smile could not be an accident or something that slipped through both production and post-production right?! that in itself is a whole reason!]

Every Macriley moment we have ever had- whether it's the hugs, Riley saving Mac, Mac saving Riley, the ultimate show of loyalty when Riley went after Mac during Codex or even just the looks exchanged between the two- to any outsider it would seem pretty obvious that they are dating or at least in love. Keep in mind the writers would have written each of those scenes and Lucas and Tristan have acted them out with a specific build up in mind aka MacRiley.(think about the date episode: Riley just got dumped but was still thinking about how Mac might be hungry. She didnt have to do that. She could have just shown up at his place..) I mean how can they write two people so perfectly in sync and so perfect for each other and not have them end up together? It would just be a waste of all that tension and slow burn. (not to mention all the hugs and glances)

2. They know we exist. 

The MacRiley fam is very active on twitter with the writers and while they were writing 5x01 they knew we were around. They know we are a huge group. They would not want to risk pissing 90% of the fandom off by not making MacRiley endgame.

[P.S.yes 5x03 was a bait and switch but if you were paying attention you would have noticed that neither Lucas not Tristan live tweeted or hyped up the episode. They knew we would probably hate it so they didnt publicise it too much! so in the future if you have doubts about the episode being a MacRiley one just check their stories or posts on twitter/intstagram]

3. Yes 5x03 happened. 

I really think it was an episode they HAD to write. Ok so after 4x13 they had 7 more episodes planned and were filming 4x20 (aka the finale) when the pandemic struck. So they have these 6 episodes but no finale for it. [Idk if anyone else has noticed but in 5x01 there were clearly some parts cut out. For example the conversation between Desi and Riley towards the end seemed a bit jilted. Riley asking Desi to forgive her but Desi replied with yeah we are cool (still no apology ofc) I feel like something happened during that which ended up getting cut out so it could fit with the final story.]

This makes me think that they have rewritten a few bits to tie into the new finale episode. In 5x03 when Mac asked Desi to come fishing with him which was clearly something very personal to him she was like no do better.. then we see Mac's disappointed expression. She could have easily said okay but maybe not for our first date? Or its not really my thing? Or just about anything else rather than laughing in his face like that. Eventhough MD is together they still arent compatible. Mac’s final words in 5x03 was him being desperate. I truly think he is so broken and lost that Desi is the only safe thing left, the only thing he feels like he can fix right now. Once he finds himself again and heals...then it's going to hit him like a pile of bricks!!

4. But Riley doesn't have feelings anymore...WELL doesnt she? 

When it comes to Mac, Riley is always in denial. We saw it in s4 when she tells Bozer not to make her say it. I think s5 will show her finally accepting it. Finally accepting that she is in love with her best friend and that it definitely isnt Codex adrenaline because she caught the feels when Codex wasnt even around. While Mac's arc would include realising he and Desi are never going to work and that he is unhappy and that RILEY is the one for him.

[why else would they give Riley feelings for Mac? Something has to come of it.]

5. The slow burn rule.[this point is a lil complicated] 

Now season 5 is rumoured to have 13 episodes. So here’s what I think: If MacGyver follows the pattern that most shows do when it comes to slow burns, then technically MacRIley should have happened at the end of season 4. But since the season got cut short and they didnt get to air/finish their final episode the writers had to improvise. 

From what I know, 4x19 which is 5x04 for us is the episode where Mac meets Desi’s parents and 4x20 was supposed to be the finale that was left unfinished.(they are definitely moving the timeline ahead if a pre finale episode is suddenly a mid season one.) There might have been a 4x21 or 4x22 but I haven't heard anything about those....EVER.

So what I think they have decided to do instead is extend the MD storyline a bit longer just so they dont end up scrapping all their s4 episodes where they would be together and write a new finale that ties everything together, aka MacRiley.

If you think about episode counts, s4 and s5 together would have 26 episodes which is a how long a normal season runs. Basically what im trying to say is if we follow the ‘slow burns end by s4’ and take season 5 as an extension of 4 then MacRiley should get together in the season 5 finale or maybe the episode just before. (IM REALLY TRYING TO GET SOME LOGIC INTO THIS)

This would be a typical TV thing too where the couple finds out about each other’s feelings while the main arc of the show is also at its peak, which perfectly sets up a future season where fans are hyped but still has a satisfying ending.

6. So what about MacDesi?

So far the macgyver writers have given us characters we love. Think of every character on the show apart from maybe Desi... Mac, Riley, Bozer, Jack, Matty, Leanna, Samantha, Russ and even Murdoc. WE LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. So then why is Desi such a strange character? I think shes purposely been written as an opposite to Mac or even Riley (I get she’s supposed to kinda replace Jack but Jack is really irreplaceable). 

It's not necessarily a bad thing its just not a great thing to do or have great execution. People have said things like Desi is a badass and shouldnt have to apologise or say I love you back to her boyfriend because she is a strong woman...I'm sorry but your opinion of who a strong woman is, is EXTREMELY skewed. A strong woman is someone who can make mistakes and when she does, she is ‘strong’ enough to own up to it, she is loyal and fierce and also caring while being a badass who can take down bad guys. And for GODS SAKE, RILEY DAVIS IS A STRONG WOMAN...people have called her mushy and feminine on twitter and I'm just very confused by that.....

Anyways before I go off on a rant, it seems like Desi is intentionally being written this way. Every opportunity they get to redeem her and make her more relatable or just a better person they just dont take it. While Rileys character arc is one of the best I've ever seen. Either its intentional or they’ve forgotten how to write characters...which is worrisome but ill give them the benefit of the doubt.

The writers also know we dont like Desi. The amount of times we've tagged them in the toxic posts or pointed out problematic things we can be sure they've seen at least half of those. So theres no way they dont know. RIGHT?

So why then is MD still a thing you may ask??

Well for one they cant break them up again off screen because of those unreleased s4 episodes. (not to mention the other parts of the audience who arent as invested in mac’s love life would probably be very confused.)

Secondly Mac has to be the one to pull the plug, not Desi. 4x13 made it seem like Desi was the annoyed one not Mac. He apologised to her which meant he wanted to fix things. 

Thirdly, they are opening the chpt one last time before they permanently close it. MD is going to be a stark contrast to macriley(it already is in every way possible). Every issue Mac and Desi had can be used to show how amazing macriley really is as two people who arent even dating yet.

Fourthly, MD being together is a sort of commentary on Macs mental health as well. We can see how happy he is with Riley but around Desi he becomes some one else. If the writers are doing this on purpose or subconsciously still remains to be seen.

And Yes keeping MD around for a few more episodes seems like a necessary risk right now but I have a feeling its going to be worth it later.

[I know we have had like 4 desi entered episodes already but I really think 5x04 will be the last of it since 5x05 is the Jack episode and 5x06 is Mac+Riley+Bozer episode with no mention of Desi at all!]

The writers know we are a dedicated bunch and they know that once MD breaks up for the last time the entire fandom will be waiting and watching. That's when the show will be at its peak. That will be the perfect moment to bring in MacRiley’s arc to a new start!

Congrats if you stuck with me through this whole thing! if you agree/disgaree with any of these or have other reasons why they could be endgame in s5 let me know!!

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 6-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

I’m so nervous and excited. Disclaimer: I have spoiled a few minor things for myself for this episode because I’m a self sabotaging dummy who does this whenever I get anxious about a form of media I am watching.

I’m so friggin nervous ahhhhhhhhh

Please tom Hiddleston, don’t do me dirty

Screw you renslayer

Istg if anyone betrays anyone I’m going to riot

Man I miss Classic!Loki already

Isn’t this the music that played when Steve?

OH MY GOSH IM GOING TO CRY WITH ALL OF THE AUDIO REFERENCES

Lol the peter quill lines are perfect because I legit just watched GotG

Nelson Mandela?

Vision???

Lmao Sylvie saying “open your eyes!” Gave me legend of Zelda breath of the wild flashbacks

My heart is rattling against my rib cage with excitement and anxiety

Spoopy castle

Aha another scene or at least location from the trailers!

Oof they’re both anxious too

Pretty gold veins

You were pruned before he even existed? What? No you weren’t? You were kidnapped but not pruned. You were only just pruned lmao.

If kang isn’t the baddy I’m gonna look like such an idiot

AGHH!

Good God that stopped my heart.

He who remains?

KANG?

I don’t trust you Miss Minutes

Man I wanna kill Thanos

Miss minutes I don’t trust you, TEMPTRESS!

If he could make it work, then why couldn’t he allow the timeline to break free normally then huh?

“We write our own destiny now.” Bite me Miss Minutes

Ren Slayer I hope you get chucked into space

How self aware is miss minutes exactly?

I’m actually surprised that Renslayer doesn’t know who it is

Miss minutes is so creepy what the freak

The music is so damn good

“Are we sure he’s even still alive?” Judging by the opening of the door, I’m assuming that yes.

Uhhh hi?

Is this kang?

Or Ryuk lmao

I’m hoping he’s more serious than this jokey seemingly unserious dude. I need some angst.

Is this Kang?

Cmon

So much for easy to kill I guess

Where’s doctor strange when you need him?

I bet classic!loki could kill him easily…

I miss alligator Loki and kid Loki…

Doctor strange sanctum vibes

Hey heart, can you stop beating in my chest? You’re gonna kill me

HAHAHAHAHA YESSSS MOBIUS

Kill her please. I won’t be sad. Do it.

You’re not sorry. Shut up.

HAHAHAHA YEA BOIIIIIII

Ohio? Oh gosh is this a school?

RENSLAYER???

Hahaha she’s just a principal

HAHAHA BREAK THEIR MINDS

Don’t you dare insult my Loki. Love you Sylvie, but she’s nothing compared to Loki in my mind and never will be.

This music is gonna give me a heart attack

Help

Oh so this has happened before?

Wannabe God…

My BPM has got to be like 100

Paved the road? Soooo are you a Loki or???

Who are you? Please be kang or else I’m gonna friggin have to eat a rock like I promised.

This dude is literally a Fan Fiction writer oml

Sylvie? Please trust Loki. Don’t betray him.

Yea yea Renslayer I know that it’s crazy your whole life is a lie but you’re an idiot.

You’re a variant too you dumb dumb.

Yea you betrayed him. You betrayed the timeline.

Where the hell are you going?

PRUNE HER

DO IT

OH COME ON

PRUNE HER FOR CRIPES SAKE

Ughhhhhhh cmon Mobius…

In search of free will? What? Then WHY NOT TAKE MOBIUS WITH YOU

Dang that was disappointing Mobius got knocked down that easily…

Oh my gosh Tom Hiddleston’s voice is rumbling in my headphones good God

Kang?

Kang?

KANG THE CONQUEROR?

PLEASE

GIVE ME AFFIRMATION

Oof even he has variants

Dude loves Apples more than Ryuk

But he also sat on the chair like L

Is he like a celestial? Related to one?

Hush you wannabe Saint

Alioth?

Okay but HOW did you harness its power. What’s your technology then? You can’t just say that and not explain how.

Is he drunk?

Okay L

He’s like L, Light Yagami, and Ryuk all in one.

Your variants? Then who are you?

GAMBIT LIKE FROM THE X MEN UNIVERSE? I’m kidding… sigh…

Okay mandalorian

My heart is still beating fast why

If I don’t make another appearance again, know I died of a heart attack

Why would he give up control huh?

Is he a Loki?

“I’m older.” Dude you look like you’re 30 tops. What’s your secret? How are you immortal if you’re only man? Or are you not a midgardian?

Both sitting with swords.

Multiversal war heh? DOCTOR STRANGEEEEE THEYRE AT IT AGAIN

He’s kinda calling her out a lil lmao

Both of them

HEART CAN YOU CALM DOWN?? I TOOK MY PILLS! WHY YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A PANIC ATTACK.

Hello? Something happening you didn’t expect?

Threshold?

Of what?

This dude is a good actor. He’s playing the demented, crazed, power man well.

What’s the third option? There can’t only be two.

My heart is friggin dumb. Can you not??? I’m legitimately annoyed by how hard and fast it’s beating.

What’s that in your hand buddy?

Bud?

What, is it an honesty detector or something?

You can really tell this guy is tired of life and everything

Aaaaand they’re fighting

Girls girls, you’re both pretty. Can I go home now?

Oh no…

Sylvie, no, stop it.

SYLVIE!!! Trust Loki!

Cmon there has to be a third option

Sylvie DAMMIT

TRUST HIM

Protagonists fight before the climax cliche *ding!*

GET OUT OF MY HEAD CINEMASINS

Dammit now she knows magic too

HE DOESN’T WANT THE THRONE YOU DUMB DUMB

“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want a throne. I just want… I just want you to be okay.”

OH?

OH?

HELLO?

It’s the onceler fandom all over again

Kiss and betrayal

COME ON MAN

Loki can’t catch a break. He just gets betrayed again and again.

How did she know how to use that.

Oop. Rip.

“See you soon.”

Sylvie, you messed up.

Now what?

Poor doctor strange. Dudes gonna have his hands full lmao.

Tom Hiddleston BETTER be in Dr. Strange Multiverse of Madness

My chest is actually moving from how hard my heart is beating what the heck

Poor Loki

All he knows is pain and hurt. And whenever he thinks he’s getting love, love, like a dagger, hurts him.

CMON TOM DONT MAKE ME CRY WITH YOUR STELLAR ACTING

How is this going to end????

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

Mobius???

WHY DID MOBIUS FORGET HIM

NEW STATUE? IS IT TOO LATE?

WHAT

THATS THE END????

WHAT?

BUT

BUT

BUT

WHAT???

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

HOW

WHY

WHAT THE HELL?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN CREDITS??????????

Funky music but…

WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING

WHY DID MOBIUS FORGET LOKI

WHY DID THE TIME KEEPERS STATUE GET REPLACED?

END CREDIT SCENE?

SEASON 2 CONFIRMED OKAY SO

AGHHHHHHHHHH!

I—WHAT?

BUT

BUT

WHEN IS SEASON 2???

HOW LONG WILL I HAVE TO WAIT?

WAS THAT KANG OR DO I HAVE TO EAT A ROCK?

WILL SEASON TWO FOLLOW DIRECTLY AFTER SEASON ONE OR IS THIS LEADING UP TO THE DR STRANGE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS AND WILL SEASON TWO FOLLOW THAT?

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MY HEART

SYLVIE WHY

YOU TRAITOR

BUT AT LEAST IT WASN’T A BETRAYAL IN THE WAY I FEARED IT WOULD BE

BUT STILL

I AM LOOKING AT THE CREDITS IN THE OTHER LANGUAGES TO SEE IF THEY REFER TO HE WHO REMAINS AS KANG

I DON’T WANT TO EAT A ROCK

MY BRAIN IS MELTING

MY HEART IS… AGHHHHHHHHHHH

[secretsandwriting]

This is what won as well as responses to almost if not all the comments left.

After this I'll make the new one to go over some of the options you guys brought up to refine it.

Ok, so first here are the things that are done and will be in the next one.

Y/n will be a vigilante. (83.3% voted yes)

Enemies forced to work together (76.7% voted yes)

Enemies to lovers (76.7% voted yes)

Dating to stay undercover (53.3% voted yes, 23.3% voted its fake dating, thats always an option)

Fashion (76.7% voted Fashion)

People might die. (36.7% voted just not the batfam and co, 26.7% voted no please let everyone live, and 26.7% voted maybe as long as I don't like them)

Angst response is easier to show then to type out.

So now were on to the three questions where you could type your answers.

Things you don't want.

+ means there different requests I put together

Stalker ex boyfriends + SA and yanderes + Crazy ex + Allusion to s*xual *ssault + dark themes, r@pe, abuse, cheating + S**ic*de. It's a really bad trigger for me. If it ends up in play, trigger warning in advance.

First off, I don't really want to do any of these and I know I've done some of them before so I get why you're bringing it up. I'm actually trying to avoid them more now because its not the best for me to be writing them and all that.

As for the dark themes, its based off DC so I can't promise that not coming up as for trigger warnings, I'm not the best at them but I do try to put them before any part that has things in them so that's a given. But for the most part the only ones of these I see happening is the dark themes and those would mostly be the normal Gotham things.

Pet’s Dying, My pets dying lol

I mean, I figured out a way to help stop that so you don't have to worry about it.

Really gritty violence?

The nice thing about smau is that people don't normally post that type of thing on social media, escpecially if your trying to keep your identity secret. Also I don't like how I write things like that so I try to avoid it. There might be mentions of it happening but I doubt I'll ever go into too much detail on it.

SLOW BURN LIKE NO SIS I CAN'T HANDLE THAT

Well, since undercover dating won there won't be too much to slowburn.

If it is enemies to lovers, please don't make them too antagonistic

No this would be my favorite version of enemies to lovers. They may be enemies but they know that the other isn't actually that bad but they have pride so its really just petty in general.

IF YOU KILL THE MAIN CHARACTER AGAIN IM COMING FOR YOUR KNEECAPS

Jokes on you I took my own knee caps

jason being a whore

I love this but you don't want it which almost makes me sad but ok anon. I'll try not to make Jason a whore.

No kids: just everyone being young and living it up without being too idk domestic?

Ok, idk how to avoid making it too domestic but I'll try.

Anything you do want?

Having to live together. Cohabitation

Easy. I got you anon.

Titus and co as well as Jason bestie + bat cow 💕 + reader may be enemies with dick but reader and damien have a brother-sister bond

These three kinda go hand in hand and I like all of them.

Soulmate au? Secret dating?

Probably not soulmate au and secret dating would have to be a side relationship because Dick and Y/n would be fake dating. So I could do it, but I need another couple to do it with.

Stupidly cute fluff + happiness maybe + Some sweet domestic fluff is always nice :)

Already wanted all of these in it, so you three are thinking on the same wavelength as i am.

SASSY PET RACCOON LIVING HIS BEST LIFE , FAKE DATING where maybe ONE of the batfam still don't believe that they are dating and try everything to prove that they aren't which leads to Dick and reader to try absolutely anything to convince everyone

I love it. Thank you. However the pet raccoon isn't confirmed yet as there were a bunch of other options people put in so I'm going to have that one run again.

john mulaney quotes

THE FACT I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS I TRULY SAD. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME!! THIS WILL DEFINITELY HAPPEN

Flustered Dick, even if lowkey + Dick's ass

I'm combining these simply because together, they give me some great ideas.

y/n having literally EVERYONE wrapped around her finger (maybe one exception idk)

Ok, but really. This is a great idea. Everyone just loving her but one of them sitting in the corner like. "Idk man, something about her isn't right..." Proceeds to sip drink.

CAR CHASE CAR CHASE And maybe slowdancing in the rain

So these were sent in by the same person. I like both! I like both a lot. I just figured out how to do a car chase in smau so its all good!!!!

Soft, moonlit whispers as one of them bleeds deeply + Dicks reaction to love interest being hurt, badly. I always love that. + fluff, and angst (maybe reader getting injured really badly)

I might get in trouble for this, but I do like the ideas... A lot...

More action

I'll try! I've found it a little hard with smau and I'm not the best action writer but I do want to add more action so I'll try to figure out how to do more.

Anything else or is it all covered?

pls for gods sake, for my sake, for your sake, don't kill the pets

Ever since I got this, it was one of the first so its been a little while. I keep wondering if its a threat? But again, pets dying isn't planned. I should have enough to go for plot so that there is no need to kill pets.

A lil bit of CRACK just batfam crack in general oh and maybe BATCOW making an appearance

The only problem with batcow, is pinterest doesn't have many pictures of cows that look like they could be pets because there are rarely people with them so thats why batcow hasn't shown up. Since I have more time to plan this one, I'll look for more options and see if I can find any.

what if, and hear me out, we made it gay🌈? or, at least, masc fem reader?

No, simply because I'm not comfortable writing it as the main relationship/character. I've tried before and I didn't like it in the least and scrapped a week work. So If I tried I doubt I would finish it, if I did, it wouldn't be good because I would probably just give up part way through. So I can definitely do ships and all that that aren't the main but for some reason every time I've tried to do it as a main relationship, I hate it. Sorry!

it would be cool to have more poc or lgbtq rep

I'm actually planning for more poc to happen in the current one. I noticed lack of poc not long ago and confused myself as to why so there will definitely be more representation.

As for lgbtq, I'll try. I was planning on trying to have at least one ship or something because I haven't. But as long as its not the main relationship I can do it so that I'll at least post it.

kiss ily muah

I love you too! muah! I really needed this, thank you!

NO KIDS PLEASE AND THANK U

Ok, No kids and you're welcome.

If there is an instance of fashion, could they help each other get ready, and laugh and joke a lot?

You genius you! Of course I love it!

Nope everything’s perfect! love from yours truly fuzzycloudsz <33 + All covered + All good! + We good + That's all. I love your stuff. + its covered !!!@ cant wait!!! + All good

I'm glad I got everything then! Thank you guys! I'm glad you like my stuff and that your excited for the new one!

[tomdiddlyumptious]

PP| House Of Disaters

Summary: you and peter do a lil sum sum and your dad catches you, causing something unexpected

Warning: smut in the beginning, probably terrible, language and flying couches.

A/n: i will still be continueing Pretty Colors, but with these pictures I couldn’t help it. This story is kinda like @spideyyeet go check out her tumblr!

“OH- oh shit! Peter don’t stop!” Your words night pitched as peter is under the covers, eating you like a fucking animal.

He moans onto you in return, so good you don’t know where to put your hands. “Fucking shit pe-Peter!” You let out a distant moan.

“Yeah? You like it when I fuck your sweet pussy like this? Mmm” he swirls his tongue around your clit making you whimper and reach down for his hair, biting your lip and trying to buck your hips up.

“Ah ah. Take what you get” he remarks, wrapping his arms around your legs and shifting them down, licking a long strip of your wet womanhood, making you whine and tug.

“Peter please!” You whine, he chuckles and kissing your clit. “Don’t make fun of mee!” You whine again, pulling his hair making him grunt and run his tongue over your hole, slowly entering as you sigh. He raises the pad of his thumb and rubs your nub harshly, applying very tight circles. “Oh my god!” You let out a high pitched moan, trying your hardest to buck your hips up but it was no help.

He hums sending vibrations up you, causing your back to jolt. You scratch his scalp while he trails up, sucking on your clit and entering his fingers in your slit without warning. “Fuck!” You moan loudly, honestly not caring about who hears you. He rubs faster, you feel your body tighten as you desperately open your legs wider, itching for that release.

“Are you okay!” Steve busts in the door. Seeing your messed up hair and your mouth wide open with the print of your legs open under the covers, your eyes closed. “WHAT THE FUCK!” He lets out a high pitched scream, you wanting peter to stop, but of course he didn’t. He feels you are nearly at your release, and he’s not allowing it to pass, needing your release. “WHAT ARE YOU- STOP IT!” Steve yells again, looking at the body under the cover squirm a bit.

Peter shakes his head no, making you release on his mouth and chin, you yell peters name as he pulls away with a pop noise. “Sorry?” You say, more of a question, turning to your dad. Steve’s mouth agape in shock as peter comes up, wiping his mouth and giving a weak smile.

“Don’t you dare smile at me. I guess we are having sex Ed class now, please get dressed” Steve says weakly, he stance hunchaback as he walks out. “I can’t believe he put his mouth on my daughter” he mutters shaking his head, closing the door, just so Sam and Bucky can come in laughing, recording saying things like

“oh peter! You missed a spot”

“Oh no he didn’t, more like he hit the spot!”

You roll your eyes and throw your pillow at them, making them continue to giggle and walk out, also closing the door.

Peter chuckles and gives you a kiss “I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop. You just taste so fucking good,”. You bite his lip pulling away, tasting yourself on his lips.

“I know but like that was my dad pete! We need to go before he busts the door down” you laugh, getting up and cleaning yourself before putting on a fresh pair of panties, and out on peters boxers for shorts.

Peter bites his bottom lip and puts his shirt back on, smacking your ass and walking behind you to an interview room, that you guys had for whatever reason. “You look really good in these” he whispers.

“Thanks, cocky Parker” you giggle, sitting down on the other side of your dad, peter joining.

“This is professional, how dare you wear those small things to this interview” Steve says, highly offended and Sam and Bucky walk in and set up the cameras, Sam making a snarky comment.

“He must have a real small penis” Bucky cackles while peters face flushes, Steve groaning “this is my daughter for heavens sakes!”

…

“Alright, do you know how offended I am peter? Did you atleast brush your teeth this morning before you put your mouth, possibly your teeth, on my daughters privacy?” Steve says, his hands a certain way and his face in all seriousness. “You understand that you might have a mouth disease and you put that on MY daughter, even your fingers! Do you masturbate?” He adds on, making peter choke.

“W-what?” He asks, barely above a whisper. Hiding his mouth with his hand. Your eyes widen as memories play, Steve noticing and he whines and slaps his hands on his lap.

“What the fuckkk!” He whines, looking at Peter in a pleading way. “No! I haven’t! I don’t do that!” Peter quickly says, raising his hands to stop him any further.

“And you! How could you let him do that? How long!” He asks, you look at Peter then at your dad and shrug. “WHAT THE FUCK!” Steve yells making Sam and Bucky cackle behind the cameras.

“Let the kids breathe, Capsicle” tony says, walking in throwing popcorn in his mouth. “How would you feel if she was your daughter?” Steve snarks back, making tony raise his hands up in defense. “But she isn’t so I’m chillin” he shrugs, sitting on the couch watching behind the scenes.

Your dad sighs and sits up straight, peters face a bit relaxed because Tony’s here. “Did you guys- ya know?” Steve asks, putting his index finger between is circled index finger and thumb on the other hand. You suck in a breath, trying your hardest not to burst into laughter.

“Woah woah woah! What’s goin on here!” Thor says, coming back from training and his eyes stuck on Steve’s hands. “It seems here that peter” Steve lays his hand infront of peter “and Y/n” he does the same “did something that’s unforgivable, plus they did it RIGHT IN MY FACEE!” He yells while turning to peter, who’s face gets flushed again.

“Oh, well that’s cool” he pokes out his lower lip, sitting right next to tony as he laughs and hands Thor some popcorn, that he gladly accepts.

“NO NO! NOT MY BABY GIRL! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A LIE!” Wanda says, running in. She could basically hear Steve’s thoughts. You furrow you’re eyebrows.

“I don’t even know what’s happening” you turn to look at the camera, flipping it off. Bucky reminds himself to blur it out later.

“What’s happening is peter BASICALLY ATE YOU OUT!” Steve exclaims, everyone cringing at his words. Tony throws popcorn at the back of peters head, slowly.

“Mr-mr. stark! Stop it!” Peter says, finally turning around and rubbing over the spot, his face scrunched while tony just throws another one, making you laugh.

“Good job young spider” Thor cheers him on, Wanda turns to him and shakes her head.

“NOT GOOD JOB! ARE YOU NUTS?!”

“NO! NO IM NOT!” Thor stands up, pointing at Wanda.

“WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Carol yells, coming in the room filled with some avengers, Bucky and Sam nod in agreement and swiftly change the camera to carol.

“IM SO SORRY, BUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE JUST DID SOMETHING WITH MY DAUGHTER!” Steve exclaims, throwing both of his hands at peter making him flinch.

“WELL IF YOU DIDNT WALK IN THIS WOULDNT BE A PROBLEM-“

“EXCUSE MEEEE PARKER!” Steve cuts him off making peter jump back, holding his hands on both sides of his head.

“Thor is crazy, this whole thing is crazy, Peter. Your crazy” Wanda says, turning to him and pointing at him. They turn the cameras and giggle behind them.

“The boy needs his deeds! Let him breathe, he ate the girl out, he thinks she’s delicious-“

“OKAY SHUT UP!” Carol cuts him off, extremely disgusted by his word choice.

“MAYBE YOU NEED TOO, PESANT!” Thor screams, walking up to her and also pointing at her ferociously, saying some very fine asgardian words.

“Brother do you know what sleep is? Because I’m trying to do that” Loki says, walking in. Only to be ignored and Carol screaming at the top of her lungs, her face mad and angry as Wanda also joins, teaming up on thor. But he doesn’t give up without a fight. He continues to scream also, Clint running up and holding him back.

Suddenly nat comes in and walks up to you, Steve, and peter. She sits on your lap and takes your hands to put them around her waist. “What’s goin on?” She asks, yawning.

“Peter is a fucking douchebag” Steve rolls his eyes, ignoring the commotion infront of him while Sam and Bucky manage to steal the popcorn from tony, who’s to busy tying his shoe.

“Wait how?” Nat asks, turning to look at Peter who scoffs and hides his face in his hands. “Yeah, how peter? Say it!” Steve exclaims again, throwing his hands and waving them up and down stiffly.

“I-I” he stutters, fiddling with his fingers. “Oh quit the act, you weren’t doing that when you put your nasty breath on my daughter choo choo!” Steve says, nat makes a face as if she’s trying her hardest not to laugh, she turns to you in the same face making you chuckle and nod. “It’s true” you mutter.

Scott comes in with a book in his hand, sitting at a small table, trying to read. But of course, the debate if it’s okay to have hands on your stuff is still causing commotion. It got extra extreme when Thor hopped on one foot to take off the other, throwing it at Wanda. She gasps and furrows her eyebrows, turning to carol as they both nod in agreement.

“HOLY-“ Bucky yells when the couch gets lifted, making Tony fall on the floor as he groans and sits down criss-crossed. “SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” Sam finishes bucky’s comment, turning the camera back and forth, as Steve also starts yelling at peter.

Scott starts to have a pounding headache, “BE QUIET, I just want to read and I can’t even do that!” He yells, making everyone turn to him, his eyes watering as he rubs one of them, the book in the other. Everyone stitches their eyebrows in confusion, looking around and seeing the couch not in its place, you, nat, angry hot head Steve, and Peter sitting in a casual interview. Sam and bucky’s face full of popcorn, only hearing their chews and Thor’s heavy breathes, Clint still holding onto him as carol has her hands on her hips, Wanda having her hands on her knees and gasping for air, Loki sitting across from Scott and looking at him as if he’s disgusted, but mentally he is thanking him.

Peter gives off a face making you look at him and giggle silently, Tony now laying down and smirking at you both.

“So….. did she taste good?” Sam asks, turning the camera to Peter and you, breaking the silence. You look at the camera as if you're in The Office, blinking your eyes repeatedly and your lips in a tight line.

“Let’s go” Steve says, standing up and exiting, everyone else walking out until he stops Sam. “Not you” he puts a hand to his chest.

“D-don't do this to me man, it- I didn’t mean it” Sam stutters, his eyes suddenly getting red and watery.

“Nah man, it’s good,” Steve says, softly pushing him in the room and closing the door. Locking him from the outside he rests his hands on his hips, turning to you and peter “not again”.

Everyone else got to their normal thing, except Sam. He sat in the chair until he got an idea to take pictures, he set it up and took a few, trying to make himself happy. “Eh man I fucked up” he sighs and sets himself in the tall chair, but smiling as he re-looks at the pictures.

[ilovejaskierthebard]

Again @gods-no-longer-tread-here is here to be the best and most inspiring. How did you know I was secretly craving to write more on this lil angry bastard???

Which like...let me explain.

*deep sigh* I AM. FOREVER. MAD. About how much I love Baker!Lambert. 😂

I love Geralt. Jaskier is my soul and Eskel is the light of my life. Before this, Lambert was my fondly, disgustingly adored lil goblin baby man. I can not explain that more, if you have a lil trash baby character you know what I mean when I say I love him as much as I want to kick his ass.

((Oh gods, is this how Vesemir feels all of the time???))

But lemme tell you. I love Baker!Lambert. I do. I want to write 80 chapters of a slow burn fic where he falls in love with an equally competitive and angry baker who comes to town to learn from him. There would cakes with hand made icing that said 'Fuck You, Lambitch' in beautiful cursive. Pies that are golden and flakey from afar but up close the crimped edging would be lil dicks. There would 100% be a food fight of some sort that would eventually lead to Lambert walking around unaware that his ass has two very clear flour-hand prints.

((It would be a rom com for assholes, yall))

ANYWAYS so yes. OF COURSE there would be consequences of Lambert fucking with the thirsty town thots. I mean, for a long time i think they'd be too scared to individually pick a fight with him.

Like this man knows he is good at what he does, and he knows come monday morning you'd insult your own mother for one of his bagels. So that's one bit of leverage, but also he is very clearly 'the one down for murder' of the brothers. If you fuck with him, he will stab you. Bread knife. Icing spatula. Ovens the size of a man. The man works with a lot of tools.

So yeah, It would take a while for all the local Eskel thotters (whats the word for a gathering of thots??? A ho down?...thats the worst joke I've ever made in my life but Im keeping it in here.) To get together and realize 'oh shit' and that he has been messing with them all.

It probably starts small, just a few of them being like ): Lambert is such a meanie -but then more and more people join and they get drunk and then they want answers.

Cue to Lambert looking out his window to a fucking mob. Who just so happen to lose their collective shit all at the same time, on a day that just so happens to ACTUALLY be Eskel's birthday.

And of course you know Lambert just went balls out for this cake because he likes to show off. But also because, this is like an intimate family gathering and he deep down really wants to show them his work because he knows they'll love it.

Excuse me why I cry

So this cake. It's probably as tall as Eskel himself. Amazing flavors, idk like every layer is something crazy like white chocolate with rasberry filling or angel cake with passion fruit infused icing. It would be a heavily landscaped mountain, with sugar glass flowers and trees. Little edible goats -Eskel's whole herd with tiny party hats on- placed all around 😭😭😭

Lambert probably threw several tantrums and sold his soul to the devil to make it tbh

Which like, makes it all that worse because 1. He can not leave the cake behind to run away. 2. There is no way he can convince anyone that it isn't a cake for Eskel's birthday party. There is a lil candy made Eskel holding a baby Lil Bleater on top of fucks sake. So yeah. He needs not only sneak himself out but also the cake???

CUE CAKE HEIST

Somehow, through very dangerous and needlessly complex ways, Geralt and Jaskier help Lambert sneak out of his own bakery while also stealing the cake.

Some random high lights:

- They try and leave numerous ways. All fail. Even the weird ways. Like out Lambert's window on the second floor. The mob is there. Waiting.

-Jaskier's plan is to just have Geralt take off his shirt. The crowd is unimpressed.

-Jaskier goes feral. Calls the crowd a bunch of names/insults their whole family tree/gets into actual fist fight over someone saying they think Eskel has better abs.

-Geralt goes to help Lambert, but is constantly being hissed at because he is making the cake wobbly/not holding it right

- Jaskier + Horny Mob + ??? = Profit!!

- Actually no. It escalates to wild chase scene, a fire and three buildings being demolished. No one is hurt because they are all running around after this one feral bard

- Lambert: Aren't you worried if they catch him?

Geralt: No. I'm more worried for them. Jaskier is a biter.

Lambert: Gross. You better have all your shots, Geralt. I don't want to explain to Papa V you died getting feral bard rabies.

Geralt: *jerks the cake a lil*

Lambert: I will bake you into a fucking PIE

*Meanwhile Eskel is having a sort of off day, no one has showed up for the party yet except Vesemir and Ciri. Which like, he probably hates his birthday, hates making a big fuss but wonders what his brothers are up to, you know?

Eskel: Maybe they forgot?

Vesemir: *looking towards the town that is literally on fire* ...they'll be here soon.

Eventually, the boys show up, with the cake perfectly intact! - I mean, yeah. Geralt is missing a shirt, Jaskier is covered in blood and Lambert has a black eye but hey! Cake!

Eskel has a great birthday after all, and gives Lil Bleater a taste of his cake and tells Lambert he's proud of him -which 100% will make him cry and hug Eskel so hard that rib bones will possibly be fractured. Followed by a group hug because everyone needs and deserves them.