#IF YOU JOIN YOU ARE EPIC.
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Made by @notdirk @dearinterlocutor and ME!
JAKE WORL. Enjoy yourself.
#homestuck#homestuck art#homestuck discord#homestuck discord server#homestuck doodles#kattattack#IF YOU JOIN YOU ARE EPIC.
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POV: You're Anticlea and Laertes of Ithaca and your son came back from Sparta after swearing he was just going for politics
#Now he's carving a tree bed and apparently has to race her dad? Who you may kind of have beef with? :/#...At least he seems really really fucking happy :)#Water Wife#this is about Naiad Pen btw#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#Mad memes#penelope#penelope of ithaca#odypen#odysseus#odyssey#the odyssey#tagamemnon#greek mythology#anticlea#laertes#odysseus and penelope#odysseus x penelope#odysseus/penelope#this is funny. to me#my headcanons#join me in joyous whimsey :3#epic the musical
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The doors to Olympus are sturdy and strong, given everyone's preferences for drama and slamming said doors open and sending them cracking into the wall whenever the opportunity arises. Which is why it's a surprise when they creak open during the once-a-decade pantheon meeting; less so because no entity worth their salt would take so long to open the doors, and more so because everyone who is anyone is already there.
But if everyone is being honest with themselves- which no one is, usually- these gatherings are boring enough that the bland conversation is dropped immediately in favour of craning their necks to catch a glimpse of whatever is coming to relieve them of their boredom.
When the doors finally open however, several of the pantheon murmur in surprise.
"Odysseus," Athena whispers, wide-eyed as she pushes herself off her throne to her feet. It is him- in the king's garb he was buried in but the face he has when he reached home, hair till the shoulders and speckled with grey, face oddly blank. His feet are transparent.
"What are you doing here, sceptre?" Poseidon booms, hair the color of a stormy sea. Zeus, beside him, looks reserved, observing the ghost with something approaching curiosity- eyes flicking to the lightning scars on his daughter's face and back. "Your time has long passed, and Hades-"
"It is a temporary agreement," Odysseus says curtly, barely sparing him a glance as he approaches his patron. "Athena."
Her armour clinks as she steps forward and the gods all twitch, trading glances. Owls are silent creatures- to have her aspect so affected to make noise was... uneasy to say the least. She even holds herself different than usual, something like confused delight shining in her eyes. "How did you-"
"Did you sleep with my wife?"
The throne room is silent. Several jaws drop.
Athena straightens back up, blinking in surprise. She looks a bit shifty, some of the nymphs closest whisper to each other, which- well, almost every single god present owed some part of their existence to the mere story of Odysseus loving his wife.
Would he fight his own patron goddess over it in front of Mount Olympus, though? He certainly was unbalanced enough; Athena herself looked rather uncertain of her odds, even though-
"Are you addled in death, King of Ithaka?" Artemis drawls, looking amused. "Did you forget that your own patron is celibate? Whatever rumor you-"
"No, I-" Athena says suddenly, shifting her spear to her other hand. "I did."
Artemis chokes on her breath and several assorted divine beings gasp in shock and the rest shouting for explanations, although everyone is nearly drowned out by Aphrodite's loud, "WHAT?"
Odysseus inhales sharply and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I cannot believe you."
"She asked-" Athena starts, only to be drowned out by the din of various beings screeching and shouting about the scandal.
"ATHENA!" Hera hisses, peacock tail fanning behind her sharply as she pushes herself up. "Explain yourself!"
Athena half-turns to face her, face creased in a frown. "Mother, I-"
"LET ME REPHRASE!" Odysseus cuts in loudly, and the shouting settles down into silence. He walks to his patron, eyes blazing. "I cannot believe," he throws his clenched fists wide as he growls the last word, "-you took Penelope to bed-" Athena surprisingly stays still as he reaches her, mouth falling open as he grabs her by the chiton to yank her down, uncaring of the gasps of horror from all around as he snarls, "-before you ever kissed me."
And then Odysseus grabs Athena by the face roughly and kisses her.
This time Aphrodite's shriek cannot be escaped by anyone.
"Aphrodite, please," Zeus says a few moments later, wincing as his throne reforms around him, stained oddly pink. Quite a few minor entities have discorporated, and the ones nearest to her are still trying to regenerate their hearing. "Control yourself."
Their eyes land back on where Athena has dropped her spear- dropped her spear, Ares in the corner seems to be having some minor hysteria over this, well warranted- and is also on the floor, still being thoroughly kissed by that insufferable, mannerless hero of hers, perched on her stomach to reach. Zeus inhales in fury, Poseidon close behind him as the shock wears off, lightning crackling around his fingers as he opens his mouth to shout- of all the indignities-
"If you two ruin this for me," Aphrodite thunders, warping in front of them and glaring. "I will make you both regret it."
Both gods visibly blanch at the threat, taken aback for one brief moment. Threats from Aphrodite are far worse than any of her more violent siblings, at the end of the day.
Zeus visibly gathers himself just as Athena's helmet clatters to the floor, and he gains a second wind immediately, eye twitching as he spreads a hand to the spectacle in the middle of the hall. "WHAT MANNER OF DISRESPECT IS THIS? TO BARGE INTO OUR MEETING AND THROW ONE OF THE OLDEST GODDESSES TO THE FLOOR LIKE A COMMON WENCH-"
"Zeus," Hera says quietly. Everyone falls silent, although it's not quite enough to stop the two tangled together on the ground. She clears her throat, which finally seems to get through to Athena, who had finally seemed to have gotten over her shock enough to reach out, hands hovering over Odysseus hesitantly. Still, at the noise she seems to remember herself, pushing herself up on an elbow and dislodging him enough to break their necking. He pouts at her, but Athena's eyes are too glazed over to notice, heaving for breath.
Hera opens her mouth to speak, crown manifesting on her brow as she steps in front of the throne, but closes it as the door rattles again.
This time, the spectre shimmers with a faint hint of scales that comes with a freshwater nymph's heritage and excited whispers starved for drama explode across the room as the Queen of Ithaka steps into the room, skirts hitched in her hand and panting as if she'd been running.
"Your Graces," She bows respectfully before entering, Spartan princess through and through, until she catches sight of her husband and Athena, the former of whom seems to have taken the opportunity to start kissing the wisdom goddess again, fingers in her curls.
"What are you doing?" She snaps, rushing over. The entire courtroom holds its breath. She slaps her husband upside the head, making him yelp and move back to shoot her a betrayed look. Athena looks even further dazed than before, cheeks red. "Argos has more manners than you! No wonder Lady Athena wanted nothing to do with you- ah, hello, darling, by the way."
"Penelope," Athena murmurs hoarsely, and the Queen of Ithaka leans down to kiss her as well.
Odysseus chuckles, then jumps with everyone else as Hera slams a hand down on the throne elegantly, cracking it to the base.
"Ah, goddess-" He says, clambering off Athena to bow.
"Silence," Hera interrupts, holding up a hand, eyes cold. "You will not say anything to me apart from an explanation. My agreement for your release from Ogygia was due to the assurance that your marriage was one of the truest I have ever witnessed, conveyed by Athena herself when bartered with all of us to let you go. Tell me, was it a ploy? Because from the disgraceful looks of it, this seems to not be the case in the slightest."
Odysseus frowns, face twisting in confusion. "Athena bartered with...?" He turns to look at his patron, who stares back, unspeaking. His eyes flicker to the lightning scar over her right eye as Penelope traces it with horrified eyes and a gentle thumb, and understanding seems to dawn.
For a moment, rage seems to fill him, glaring with a hatred towards Zeus that everyone whispered later wasn't met by the god king with anger, but a flicker of remorse- before he visibly throws it away behind Athena's old smile and bows.
"God-queen," He says formally, gracefully. Hera twitches a bit, and they'll all talk later about how odd it was to so clearly see Athena's younger mannerisms in the man, down to the curl of the letters. "My marriage to Penelope has never been false, never been broken, this I promise you." He takes Penelope's hand and squeezes it for emphasis, and she raises them as acknowledgement. "But... can you not argue that Athena has been part of our marriage all this time? From its start, where she advised me on courting and her on what to look for, to the twenty years she spent with both of us- me on the battlefield and Penelope in the court; to say nothing of how she helped raise our son and lived in our palace in the days after. And is she not so unbearably beautiful that even my Penelope couldn't wait-" He shoots a glare at her, which Penelope returns with a smile. "-when the chance was presented? How can you fault us for disgrace, after being so long apart from our wife?"
Hera raises both eyebrows at the impudence, the kind of disbelieving expression that hides a warning to tread carefully. "So you claim to be both married to Pallas Athena?"
"In every way that matters except legality," Odysseus says, fearlessly. He is dead, after all, what much can you do to a shade that they didn't already put him through when alive. He is sort of worried about Athena, though, as they both help her back to her feet, Penelope busy whispering compliments and updates and endearments in turn- she's not usually one to be quiet in face of a problem.
Hera tilts her head. "Ah, but you see. I need the legality, if I am to finally-" A helpless, excited smile pulls at her lips once, twice, before unfolding into a bright grin, peacock tails unfolding to their full wingspan. "-finally arrange for a marriage for my eldest daughter who has not once- oh finally, I can hardly believe this day has come-"
"I do not like the way you grabbed her, Sacker of Troy," Ares steps forward as Hera starts ranting half to herself, half to an equally loud assemblage of joyful entities about wedding arrangements, eyes narrowed.
Odysseus barks an incredulous, loud laugh, gesturing to Athena with a slightly crazed look in his eyes. "This lady has broken- and I do not exaggerate- every single bone in my body before I saw my sixteenth year. I have punched her a hundred times in the face when she taught me how to fight. We'll survive, thanks."
"That is fair," Ares steps back, hands raised.
"What duties will you provide as spouses, Ithakan Queen?" Hestia questions, stepping forward.
"Oh, the same we did when we were living," Penelope huffs a laugh. "Keep her busy, make her laugh, be of mild frustration to her, love her well, worship her-"
"I do not. Need to know," Hestia closes her eyes and raises a hand to cut her off, stepping back. Around them, the din catches speed and volume as no further objections arise, excitement spilling into the air.
"What is happening?" Athena says faintly, looking around as if she was just waking up.
"-oh, and we can get out the decor once more! Hebe, Aphrodite, loves, do you remember where we kept the fountains-"
"-finally, a reason to celebrate! Call them all out of hiding-"
"-can't believe this is finally happening, oh sister, what songs should we-
"Why am I getting married," Athena says with much more alarm and horror. She turns to Odysseus and shakes him by the shoulder, eyes wild. "What did you do?"
"Nothing!"
"How is this nothing? Do you have any idea the headache-"
"Athena, sweetheart, will you consider changing into that beautiful piece you made for the ceremony?"
Creakily, she turns her head to Hera, disbelief pasted across her face. "Mother," She says slowly. "They are both dead."
"Oh, I'll make a deal with Hades or something, you hush!" Aphrodite leans forward and snaps, before her irritation melts back into a manic joy. "Oh, what paint shall we do?"
Paint, Athena mouths, looking afraid for possibly the first time since her conception.
Penelope laughs and tugs on Athena's hand to make her turn, tucking dishevelled curls behind her ear. She wonders if the goddess knows how beautiful she is when she's flustered. "Take us away," She whispers. On Athena's other side, Odysseus leans against their patron with a besotted, helpless smile as he stares up at her, her helmet and spear in hand. She'd missed Athena like a limb, missed her deep laugh at night when they'd discussed the day's court, the dry jokes, the hands over hers as she weaved- but Odysseus wasn't himself without her, happy though they were in Hades' lands together, all of them.
"I'm-" Athena wavers, then looks around once more at all the excited screaming, something unreadable flashing in her eyes. Almost against her will, her eyes fall to Zeus, who is sitting silently and staring back at her. Poseidon looks like he still wants to start a fight, but clearly by his wary looks below can tell he will be heavily outnumbered by the overexcited crowd to not try, but Zeus just stares back at her, face blank of any emotion.
"We ask you formally this time," King Odysseus says, walking in front of her to take her attention away, holding onto her hand. His voice has strength in it, drawing the eyes of the murmuring crowd, but he's deaf to it as he stares up at her.
"Will you be our wife?" Queen Penelope asks, joining him, watching their beautiful patron shudder for breath she does not need as her eyes flick to one of them and then the other.
"Yes," She whispers and cheers erupt all across Mount Olympus.
"Finally!" Odysseus complains, and then pulls her down once more to kiss her, all three of them fading at the edges as one of the generous gods present there- who seems to realize that they're not very inclined to stop anytime soon- thankfully teleports them away into a nice room with a large bed.
"Finally," He whispers as he breaks apart to lay her down, cupping her face, voice heavy with the longing of a full lifetime and more. Penelope circles to the head of the bed and starts undoing Athena's braid, staring at them both lovingly.
Later the ones closest will murmur, as the silhouettes faded away, that tears had slipped from proud Pallas Athena's eyes as she placed one hand against Odysseus' cheek, trembling.
"I missed you," She will whisper back, and all three of them fade away to their own story, yet to be made.
#sorry athena ur not immune to the “when will u get married” mom speech#anyways i believe in demisexual athena amen#epic the musical#odysseus#penelope#athena#odypen#you know the eyes w spirals in anime thats athena after being kissed by her bff within an inch of her life on a regular tuesday#hera#woman is on CLOUD NINE she will literally kill anyone who gets in her way this time. the wedding is gonna be great.#aphrodite#< also going crazy shes been trying to matchmake her sister for a thousand years now#ares#< extremely conflicted. has never felt protectiveness for athena before this moment . also he wants eye bleach.#hestia#“HOW WILL THEY MAKE A HOME IN THE UNDERWORLD WHAT HEARTH-”#zeus#athena hasn't spoken to him since god games.#also tbc pen Didnt know ody and athena were Not Like That. she was convinced day one that they were a package deal.#and the two of them had literally Never considered it even though it was the norm! but once he finds out that Penelope did ody casually#just like. figures out a way to get to mount olympus from hades and storm in to plant one on her#athena x odysseus x penelope#< ig?? whats the ship name#to anyone who sees this vision. join me.#odyath#penath#odypenath#my fic
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So lately I’ve been seeing a lot of posts asking people to stop trying to make Odysseus look nice in their works cuz he’s a “messed-up person in the mythology”. Your opinion is valid however I have but one thing to point out:
You want to know who started all this? Who started to “make Odysseus look nice” in the first place?
It’s Homer. It’s nobody else but Homer himself.
A non-Homeric Odysseus would try to murder people out of his own interests. He’d murder Palamedes without remorse (and we’d be cheering over this but it’s a murder after all), he’d attempt to murder Diomedes just to get the Palladium himself, he’d volunteer to kill Astyanax…meanwhile you wouldn’t find any mention of either Palamedes or Nauplius in Homer’s poems, neither did he mention anything abt the Palladium heist (and Diomedes necessity did not happen until Conon’s version), the death of Astyanax, the distribution of war prizes, etc. And all the details in the Odyssey seemed to deny the existence of Nauplius’s vengeance at all, so Odysseus would not take any of the blame.
A non-Homeric Odysseus would be depicted as “cruel, treacherous”, meanwhile in book 10 of the Iliad Odysseus was not mentioned to have killed anyone during the marauding, neither did he promise Dolan anything at all. The negative interpretations are denied by these details subtly put by Homer.
A non-Homeric Odysseus would be widely known as a “coward” for only shooting arrows from afar. But Homer gave him a spear and had him absolutely slaying in both the Iliad and the Odyssey. That part of Ajax’s speech was invalid already.
Most importantly—a non-Homeric Odysseus would be having kids everywhere else, and the loyalty to his own wife as seen in the Odyssey is no where to be found. Meanwhile his lineage was a single-son line made by Zeus in the Odyssey, and his love for Penelope was one of his main drives, especially seen in book 5 of the Odyssey. He loved his family as a loving parent—something you don’t get to see in most of the non-Homeric writings—for most of the time they followed a different tradition indeed, in which Odysseus wasn’t half as nice as in the Odyssey.
TL;DR: in case you haven’t noticed, the characterization of the Homeric Odysseus was quite different from a non-Homeric version of Odysseus. It’s not that Homer didn’t know of the existence of other versions—he knew them too well, which is why in his version of the story, you don’t get to see any mention of them.
#and now hot take: your opinion is invalid cuz there isn’t supposed to be such a term as “nice” when describing a person#he did not join the war willingly and the war crimes he did were out of necessity#no god has judged him on these “war crimes” so neither should you#not especially when you’re basing it on your modernized view of this matter while the ideology of heroes is so different in ancient times#there isn’t such a term as “nice” or “not nice” when it comes to an Ancient Greek hero#they’re complicated persons with feats on their shoulders and family of their own#tagamemnon#the iliad#the odyssey#homer’s iliad#homer’s odyssey#the epic cycle#homer#odysseus#epic the musical#tagging epic cuz I’ve seen such opinions directing at Epic!Odysseus—but how on earth was he a “nice” person#he did much horrible things in act 2 and isn’t that what you would like to see or did I smell double standards?#*shrugs* I do not direct this at anyone—just at some specific opinions I’ve read online#anyways there’ll always be arguments but let’s just agree on the fact that he’s a grey character and he did stay grey in these adaptations#so fricking tired of these negative commentaries which are not constructive at all#Lyculī sermōnēs
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I'm researching Scottish mythology for the Cyberknights AU, and I was skimming through the wiki entry for the Glenmasan manuscript (I'd tell you what it is, but I haven't actually finished reading yet), when I read this sentence
Like what are the fucking chances
#not art#not cod#not exactly at least#I love love love when I just come across something that perfectly fits what I need#what do you mean there's a fuckin 13th century manuscript of scottish mythology that is allegedly written by someone called John M'Tavish#cyberknights au#if anyones interested I've done a lot of thinking on the worldbuilding for cyberknights... and i WILL infodump if given the permission#new blorbo acquired..... his name is Eoin M'Tavish and he's been dead for like 800 years <3#joining blorbos as the wanderer from the exeter book who may never existed and also been dead for a 1000 years#and that one Georgian queen who was so epic they wrote several books of poems about a guy representing her fighting armies#Edit I was checking how common M'Tavish (or MacTavish as it's the modern spelling) is bc I was like 'am I stupid is that just a common name#but its not. theres only about 3000 people with it#which is pretty damn rare in my standards (tho my surname is even rarer but mine has a weird ass origin lmao)
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Gen Alpha Telemachus doing Gen Alpha things
Telemachus: …….
Telemachus: Erm- guys- what the sigma!?
Telemachus: *About Antinous* Fam’s just got L rizz. Idk what to tell you, skill issue fr fr. Get good son
Telemachus: What the sigma- ☝️🤓
SKIBIDI TOILET SKIBIDI TOILET SKIBIDI TOILET SKIBIDI TOILET SKIBIDI TOILET SKIBIDI TOILET SKIBIDI TOULET SKIBIDI TOILET SKIBI-
#epic the musical#telemachus epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#epic musical#wisdom saga#gen alpha Telemachus#Wanted to join this trend because sometimes when you’re sad#The only thing that can cheer you up is Telemachus insulting the suitors in the most ridiculous way possible#Also drew this without Epic Telemachus reference so- ssshhhhhh#drawing#artists on tumblr#artwork#traditional art#traditional drawing#traditional sketch#hand drawn#drawings#art#artists of tumblr#gen alpha
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Father-son bonding session (brutally murdering the suitors that have taken over your home)
#what a first impression for telemachus#your kickass dad turns up after twenty years butt-ass naked and slaughtering the men that have tormented you and your mom for years#that’s rad as hell#and you get to join him!!!!#can’t wait to see this in epic ngl#‘you think I don’t know my own palace?! I built it.’ COLD FUCKING LINE!!!!!!#anyways#the odyssey#tagamemnon#odysseus#telemachus
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Would Jason Todd listen to EPIC?
#i can totally see him belting No Longer You at 3am to everyone else annoyance/enjoyment#Tim joins in because he definitely had a Hamilton phase and naturally he immigrated to EPIC#tim drake#jason todd#batfam headcanons#batfamily headcanons#dc batfam
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#i’m just curious#I started listening#after the cyclops saga released#so I’m more recent than some#but I’ve still been here for a while#when did you join?#epic the musical#epic the troy saga#epic the cyclops saga#epic the ocean saga#epic the circe saga#epic the underworld saga#epic the thunder saga#poll time#epic the musical poll
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what the hell is this thing
#snowgems art#protogen#portal 2#wheatley#anyway shoutout to the person in the portal 2 tag#who posted protogen wheatley#very cool and epic!!!#i wanted to join in on the proto posting#hope you dont mind :3#aperture
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the only people who work faster than the Epic the musical team is the Epic the musical fandom
#you guys scare me a little#how do you write and draw so fast???????#epic the musical#also how do you find my posts immediately after I make them#I only joined this fandom two weeks ago???#I had no pre-existing following in this fandom
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Marianne ❤️
#art#hehehehehe#artist#digital art#small artist#teehee#digital drawing#cowboy#oc artist#cowboy universe#cowboy oc#ocverse#oc universe#original character#oc artwork#oc rp#ocs#oc art#my ocs#dm me if you want to join my super epic rp server#american frontier#wild west#wild west oc#outlaw oc#outlaws#please commission me#commisions open#digital artist#wolf#there are two wolves inside me
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lb I'LL MISS YOU. that said i'll be here all week and the week after that and the week after that and the week af-
#i have had the most fun ever experiencing the epic highs and lows with all of you#my only regret is not having joined earlier#now if i said i was going to channel the energy leftover from the gaping hole in my life that is tuning into a sports game every other nigh#into writing gay ass rpf. what then#if nobody got me ik pens lb got me#pens lb
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I watched Rebel Moon and I don't know exactly but it feels like there was a kernel of a really great movie trapped in a lot of chaotic writing and poor character development and A LOT of slow motion shots?
#Rebel Moon#Rebel Moon critical#I guess?#would have been better as a limited series TV show?#like eight episodes or something#episode 1: establish Kora and Gunnar and the threat to Veldt and the decision to find aid#episode 2: Providence and meeting Kai#episode 3: tarrack backstory and Tarrack joining up#episode 4: Nemeisis backstory and her joining up#episode 5: Titus backstory and just A LOT more Titus content!#seriously you have Djimon Hounsou and he speaks a sum total of 7 lines or something???#episode 6: Bloodaxe siblings backstory and negotiating with them#episode 7: Oh No Kai was a traitor all along!! the epire kills King Levitica and captures the gang#episode 8: epic space battle of the dreadnought against the gang and face-off between Kora and Noble#voila#rebel moon season one right there
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Hello! List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10* people who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :)
Cat
Memes
Cat memes
Seeing you all full of love, doing stuff with passion and sharing your joy with all of us <3 I love you all my internet friends <3
That one kick move when you leap from the ground and kick your foe with both legs. Ah I look it up. It's a wrestling move called Dropkick. It's hard to land gracefully with that kick. Whoever perform it really have to go all out and ignore what comes later.
#ask and i shall answer#hiii mutuals and followers~#it's not a tag game but feel free to join and share what makes you happy :)#i love woman yell at cat meme#i think it's my all time favorite meme#and i love seeing dropkick in random media#watching a movie and someone did that in a fight#and i was like !!!!! he did the thing!!!!#it's so violence and silly and epic and i love it
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Petition for Jeup and Sunyoul to join A.C.E
#lowkey glad donghun didnt win bc even thought they said it wont it would have affected A.C.E's tour and comeback#plus i didnt like how build up did a 180 and essentially created a kpop group not a vocal one#but i'm sad for jeup and sunyoul#i don't want them to give up#you can't split up dongup after their epic journey together lol#jeup and jun/chan got along on the uni+ and sunyoul would get along with anyone#they should join ace as a 7 member group and we can all be happy T_T#build up#liveblogging
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