#IF THIS DOESNT GET MORE ATTENTION ILL CRY???

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[snekdood]

idc if ppl think im problematic i just want it to be for the actual real reasons i am

[moonstruckme]

hi mae !!! i’ve been resding ur stuff for forever & if this request doesnt strike ur fancy i just wanted to at least say that!!! but i would love love love anything you have to say about steve harrington comforting his s/o (maybe shy!reader?? but no pressure on that) after a very tough emotional few weeks? like yknow those weeks that just knock you down & then stomp on you a little & have you saying “it’ll get better if i can just get through the week” but then the next week comes and it’s just as 🕳️🤸 as the last ? idk if this makes sense but ik u wanted more requests w our other boyfriends !!

Hi lovely, thank you for requesting!

Steve Harrington x shy!reader ♡ 791 words

You’ve been trying not to cry for about a month now, and this stupid movie is going to do you in. Steve’s got his arm splayed across the top of the couch, his features lit in the colors of the TV screen and revealing only a vague sympathy for the characters in the movie as opposed to the steady crescendo of emotion that’s building behind your eyes. 

You turn from him so he won’t see your heating complexion and do your best to hold it in. You hold it until you can feel your heart beating in your sinuses. Steve’s fingers start toying with your hair, and it feels so ridiculously casual and tender that it only makes matters worse. 

You must make some sort of sound, because then he’s shifting beside you. His eyes burn into the side of your head. 

“Hey.” His voice is quiet, unsure. “You okay?” 

You breathe in through your nose, swallowing hard. “Yeah.” 

“Are you crying?” 

“No,” you say. But you are now, properly, and your denial is completely undermined by the wobble in its delivery. 

“You are,” Steve accuses, letting his hand drop onto your shoulder just as it gives its first great hitch. He tenses. “Hey, it’s okay. We can change the channel.” 

You let loose a horrid laugh, wet and pitchy. “No,” you tell him, finally breaking and wiping underneath your eyes. “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t want to upset you.” He grabs the remote. His tone has gone serious and a bit panicky. “We’ll find something lighter to watch.” 

“It’s not the movie.” You turn towards him and he pauses, frozen like a rabbit in the forest. “It’s just…it’s a lot of things, you know?” 

Everything about Steve melts. His shoulder sag, the hand with the remote dropping into his lap, his lips part, he slouches towards you a bit, his eyebrows pull up and to the middle. “Yeah,” he says, soft and smooth as butter. “Yeah, I get that.” 

You try to smile, making fun of your own ill-timed meltdown, but another sob breaks free from you again. Steve slumps further. If you keep going like this, you’ll shatter into a million pieces and he’ll liquefy into a stain on the couch and that’s all Robin will find of either of you when she inevitably comes looking. 

“It’s okay.” Steve’s hand makes its way from his lap into yours, taking your hand and squeezing your fingers lightly. “You’re okay, you’re good.” 

And you know you are, but it feels nice to hear him say it. Your shoulders shake, and you tilt your head downwards, salty tears dripping off your nose. 

“Sorry,” you croak out, but he only brings his other hand to your face, angling you up where he can see you. 

“I don’t mind,” he promises. When his thumb sweeps an arc from the side of your nose nearly to your ear, you shudder. 

Steve’s brows twitch together, but he doesn’t alter his grip. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” 

“No, what is it?” 

“It’s just…” Just that you short-circuit anytime he touches you, and right now your body doesn’t know where to put the excess emotion. You think if he pays you any more attention you’ll have a heart attack. Cause of death: Steve Harrington’s tender ministrations. “Sorry, nothing.” 

His forehead creases as his thumb brushes once more, feather light, under your eye, and then his expression clears. Because though intuitive Steve is not, he’s perceptive enough to catch your unintentional glance to where his hand rests upon your cheek. 

“Oh, sorry.” He stills, eyes flickering back to yours. “Hey, if you want me to stop, I’ll stop. Just say the word.” 

And you have to think, because it is torment, and it might actually kill you. But at least this way you’ll die happy. 

“That’s okay,” you murmur. “It’s nice.” 

A little smile curves Steve’s lips before he remembers you’re sad and tries to squash it. You feel something similar tugging at your mouth anyway. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.

You sniffle. “I don’t think so. I’m just kind of tired of it, you know?” He looks like he does. “Maybe we could just keep watching the movie?” 

“Yeah, sure honey.” The endearment slips out as if it’s something he says every day, and Steve’s demeanor doesn’t reflect anything different. For your part, you feel a buzzing in your chest so intense you wonder if you’ll disintegrate into tiny pieces. He scoots closer to you on the couch, settling an arm around your shoulders and leaning you into his side. “Let me know if it’s too much, okay?” he asks quietly, like it’s a secret. 

You rest your head on his shoulder and say nothing. 

[ohsoconfused]

transschizospec if you haven't already?

TRANSSCHIZOSPEC TIPS 𖦹

i am also transschizospec!!

i will separate this into categories: delusions, hallucinations, behaviors, emotions, and thinking

keep in mind these are all just symptoms and not every schizospec person experiences them all!! most probably dont experience all of them!!

delusions:

- a delusions is simply a fixed belief that doesnt change despite contradicting evidence. let your imagination run wild and then just gaslight yourself. eventually youll believe it.

- if you need more guidance, some common delusions are grandiose delusions (which i experienced), paranoid, erotomaniac (parasocial), somatic, and many more you can google.

- paranoia is very very common!! incorporate it!!

- look at the “how the delulu girls“ trend on tiktok!!

- whether or not you choose to talk to people about your delusion is up to you

hallucinations:

- honestly, make them up to gaslight yourself and/or manifest them

- draw whatever comes to mind and tell yourself its your hallucinations

- get sleep deprived!!

-watch things that make you anxious!!

- listen for small background noises and tell yourself its a hallucination

behaviors:

- periods of catatonia!! catatonia is a state where someone is awake but not responding to other people or maybe their environment. it may occur in the form of repetitive odd gestures, holding strange positions, mimicking others, or not moving at all. not every schizospec person experiences catatonia!!!!

- disorganized speech!! this is pretty much just word salads but with whatever and also with some garbled speech so ill make an example of this one no thank you i dont have the free time for that but yournrnnn you cna ask ted..if you wnt because hes to contamnnated to do that (but do that while talking)

- do repetitive movements and do things in patterns

- be impulsive

- schizophrenics tend to socially isolate

- be disorganized!! wear mismatch clothes (thats a thing with schizophrenics), have a messy room, etc.

emotions:

- apathy is common among schizophrenics and interestingly enough, so are heightened emotions!! sometimes just not react to things and SOMETIMES REALLY REACT!!

- anxiety is also very common

- paranoia!! what if everyone can read your mind? what if they know youre a terrible person? there are people watching you. where are they?

- inappropriate emotional responses!! such as laughing when something bad happens or crying over something really small. this ties in with heightened emotions.

thinking:

- disorganized thoughts!! this is pretty much just word salads but with whatever and also with some garbled speech so ill make an example of this one no thank you i dont have the free time for that but yournrnnn you cna ask ted..if you wnt because hes to contamnnated to do that (but do that while talking)

- memory issues!!

- inability to process social cues!! that means not getting the hint when someone is talking to you or not getting the hint someone needs to be comforted, for example.

- attention deficit!! struggle to focus on things and zone out a lot

[baby--b4t]

Ive been thinking about baby Gaz a lot. He doesnt usually regress very young, but sometimes the poor guy just cant help it. He gets stressed too and needs someone to pamper and coddle him like he tries to do for his little siblings (Ghost and Soap).

I feel like Price would be the only one to ever really see Gaz regress that young. He would walk into his room to try and ask him a question but see a sobbing Kyle in a bundle of blankets instead.

"Hey, hey. Whats goin' on, kiddo?" Price would ask, not knowing how young he really was. It was only after he saw how limited Kyles speech and movements were that he would start to connect the dots. John would gently help Gaz sit up, supporting his body the entire way.

A lot of shushing and coos would be thrown Kyles way, trying to find some way to make the baby feel better. It was hard for Price to comfort Gaz in that moment because he didnt know what the trigger for this was. It felt like trying to comfort a wall.

Eventually, Price had gotten an idea. He carefully let Gaz lay back down before standing up.

"Ill be right back, yeah? Papas not leaving for long."

John decided to find one of the toys Soap liked to play with them he was feeling younger. It was made of plastic, something Price didnt exactly want to give Kyle since he seemed so young, but it made sounds and had interactive parts. He was sure this would distract Gaz.

Kyle became a mess all over again after Price left him. He didnt understand why Price had left and didnt like the loneliness sinking into him as his room fell silent. Upon the Captains return, he was met with a sobbing Gaz once again.

"Shh, shh, shh. C'mon now, Kyle. I told you I would come back. Theres no need for the waterworks."

A gentle thumb came across Gazs cheek, wiping away the tears.

"Look at what Papa found. Doesnt it look fun?" Price presented the toy to Gaz and showed him one of the interactive functions. A small sound played, a slide-whistle of sorts, and grabbed Kyles attention. He stared at the toy for a second before he whined again.

John pressed another button, this time a 'bonk' sound playing. Once again, it made Gaz stop crying. A small chuckle left Price as he began trying to help Gaz sit up and lean against him for support. He gently showed the little one he could play with it and make the sounds himself.

Gaz loved the toy. He messed with anything his hands would grab onto or push and seemed to cheer right up. He was still sniffling slightly, but he seemed to be more than content with the toy Price gave him.

[dragon-queen21]

im so happy you enjoy my ramblings! it means a lot to me, thank you🤍

Going off your recent mini fic, I DEFINITELY agree with the idea of zoro regressing, had that headcanon FOREVER but yeah sorry im a sucker for “big strong man being taken care of” he deserves it man. i feel like he’d be a older regressor normally (round 8) but if he needs to can slip really far (2-3, sometimes younger) like the idea of like regressed zoro just working himself up over something and stomping his feet and everyones like so surprised and hes so embarrassed about it idk i keep thinkin about it

i feel like the first time zoro FULLY regresses, he wakes up little. specifically after the crew leaves a island where he had to fight a huge battle and he doesnt realize he feels different until he goes to see his crew for breakfast, so now he one, has no idea whats going on and why he feels like this, and two, the poor baby is silently working himself up over it :(

i see zoro being strangly picky? sanji brings out breakfast for the crew and zoros just looking at it like its the grossest thing in the world. and sanji notices and its the strangest thing because sanji has MADE this dish for him before. sanji KNOWS zoro likes this ??? and now that sanji pointed it out everyones put their attention the zoro waitin for him to say something,

in my imagination, choppers the one to process that fact zoros regressing

and the kid is all overwhelmed with all the attention

in my head the end of this situation either ends up with zoro crying :( or him getting mad at everyone for thinkin theres somethin up (there is)

i dont see zoro as aomeone to get genuinely mad at the crew often but throw in overwhelmed kid factor and what do you get?

in another situation after both he and the crew accepts zoros a little, they make a rule that he cant use his swords little and that pisses him off because he got to use his swords when he was kid? why not when hes regressed and the crew has to explain that its because what if he slips younger all off a sudden? they cant control that, its too dangerous.

okay thats it for now, im sorry it was SO hard to put my thoughts on little! zoro into words, and ill be honest im not to happy about how i worded this, so i hope you understand what im trying to say and convey

but please if you have any little! zoro hcs id be happy to hear! no pressue at all though!

📷

Mkay we are going to pretend this didn’t take me as long as it did to answer. I wanted to give you a proper well thought out response and my brain was fighting me for days 😭

Anyways!

~I have had so many thoughts about regressor Zoro (when my brain will cooperate). I swear I say this all the time but I WILL post that fic in full. Eventually. One day. >///< ahh too many projects.

~I have such a soft spot for a character who is always protecting those around them getting taken care of in return.

~Zoro would throw so many small temper tantrums over the silliest things.

~In love with the idea of Zoro being ever so slightly clueless about his own regression. Add injury and blood loss, post adrenaline haze, etc. and just so many reasons for him to make excuses that everything is fine, he’s just feeling a bit off that’s all… until it happens again and again and suddenly he starts to realize, hmm maybe something is up… maybe he needs to go to Chopper about this.

~Ooh okay, I’ve had that headcanon for awhile with Zoro being fussy when it comes to food. I think that Sanji would eventually get so fed up with trying to feed the little, because he liked eating this meal yesterday so why is he throwing a fit today???, that eventually Robin takes over for him just because she has more patience for the regressor. (Also just mama Robin my beloved.)

~Zoro acting funny, my first thought was, oh gosh Luffy would be just so- Luffy.

“There’s not’ing wrong alright?!”

“Yes there is. Zoro is acting funny.”

“‘m not!”

“Are too!”

~Telling Zoro he’s not allowed to use his swords also because no one knows how to properly watch over him. Unlike him as an actual kid there is no one to properly ‘train him’ does that make sense?

~Recently been on the kick of caregiver Luffy. Just loving the idea of him being oddly good with kids and highly responsible in his own way. Overly protective once he knows one of nakama is little. So just thinking about him watching over Zoro and realizing his first mate is small before Zoro realizes it himself.

[oshidorifuufu]

just a rant, i guess (๑･̑◡･̑) tw: suicide

life plan: get too silly by atleast 30

i want a nice funeral, i want white roses (do those exist?), i want people who i guess care about me (probably imaginary, nobody cares for me) to cry, they should mourn me as if i was an angel, i should become a real one…

they’d have talk of how i’d died too young, how i was a good soul(?) (its all lies), how i had such a bright future (it got dull over time), i would have the spotlight, for one day at least..

i want to maybe find a nice bridge to jump from, or a pretty rope laced with flowers, or an adorable gun (though guns are sort of scary)

i dont really feel anything. i feel hopeless, what if my effort is for nothing? what if the idea of a better future that i clang onto isn’t real? the world will be fucked today, and the world will be fucked tomorrow

i’m fucked too, i’m a pessimist, someone recently told me “it sounds like everyone is tired of trying to keep you happy”, and that shit fucking hurts but damn they’re right! i dont deserve to live! when have i ever made a truly significant positive impact on someone? i exhaust, i burn people out and when i think i deserve to die for it im becoming even more pessimistic for thinking that way so i exhaust them more!

whaat am i supposed to do in this cycle?

im confused, im scared and anxious, what if theres no hope. i dont even know if i want comfort. my craving for love and attention and praise has grown and grown but at least for now its like. it wont ever be enough. it doesnt matter, i wont ever have ‘enough’ of it. i’m not truly loveable in this state

i dont want to be pitied, i dont want to be hated, i dont want to be mentally ill, i dont want to be anything

id like to go back to being stardust

[dykeseesgod]

what well its just that you havent spoken to me in years except to call me a faggot or to dislocate my shoulder and you know what else is missing besides an attentive listener a segue i suppose forgive my bluntness please dont hit me but i could giv two shits about you or your vacant mind or your morbid curiosities or your dead fucking dog so why dont you just leave i never dislocated your shoulder according to my doctor you did in shop class last spring you twisted my arm behind my back and said you wouldnt let go until i said and i quote i like to get it up the ass i was just playing around with you oh that makes me feel so much better you know through my screams and the searing pain i can definely recall hearing laughter any way i can contribute to the fun of the group we were just messing around with you fuck you cb id rather you say we beat the shit out of you because we cant stand you rather than youre just messing with me that implies light teasing or slightly oproprious behavior i havent eaten in the cafeteria in 2 years for fear of going home with some part of it smeared across my shirt i havent been to the bathroom on campus since my head got slammed into a wall i believe you were there i didnt do that well you didnt stop it either and the faculty doesnt care you know what im tired of hearing they only pick on you because of your own insecurities aw jeez mrs blank now that you said that my head doesnt hurt so much and people wonder why kids bring guns to school to shoot you fuckers down maybe youre not the bully but you stand idly by and watch and to me thats even worse so please just go youre being hostile and im just trying to have a conversation with you like a civilized i dont want to talk to you i just want to be left alone i dont need social pointers i just want an apology for the five minutes youve stolen from my day see this is why you dont have friends i think we both know why i dont have any friends oh dont be so melodramatic youre in here crying about a dead dog and im being melodramatic shut the fuck up about my dog ok or what youll hit me go ahead ill show you how people get hurt and dont run away to cry like a big fucking baby whats so funny asshole im sorry nothing i dont see anything to laugh at its nothing its just that i was scared of you for like a second im sorry no its ok i deserved it promise me you wont bring a gun to school i dont even know where id get one you were one of my best friends you all were i just dont get it can i be honest if its any consolation none of us knew what to say to you after your dad got arrested it was pretty awkward it was more awkward for me im sorry we werent there for you that means a lot see now youre being sarcastic again no i wasnt its hard to tell with you truce i wasnt fighting a war but sure truce are you i dont know ive never had sex so kinda hard to tell at this point what about my dad im not sure thats considered sex you remember how my dog used to howl when you played the piano yeah i always found it pretty annoying he was singing along what do you think happens to animals when they die they go to heaven you believe in heaven sure there has to be some reward for living through all this and you think there are animals there in heaven the wolf will live with the lamb the lion will lie down with the goat and the calf the lion and the yearling together and a child will lead them the cow will feed with the bear their young will lie down together and the lion will eat straw like the ox the infant will play near the hole of the cobra and the child will put his hand into the vipers nest but my dog killed a living thing wouldnt god be mad he was sick cb he couldnt help it you know they say a dog sees god in his master and a cat looks in the mirror i hate cats me too

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Regency Romantasy

So...it has been brought to my attention that I perhaps have a type, and this book ticked a lot of really good boxes for me. It's regency-inspired. It's fantasy. It's a romance. It has a chronically ill main character. It has sewing and fashion. Literally 90% of the characters are LGBTQIA. It has a BALCONY SCENE for crying out loud. It even has a gossip columnist who might be better than Lady Whistledown (do NOT come for me, Bridgerton Fandom, I said what I said). I could go on, but at that point I think we would have completely dissolved from actual review to screamed list of things I enjoyed, so let's rein it in for a minute and talk A Fragile Enchantment.

I'm going to start with setting, because while this book is regency-inspired, it also plays a little fast and loose with other historical inspirations. The reality of the blight and famine in historical Ireland (and frankly also the troubles and every time that Ireland revolted against England) was that it came after the regency, but here Niamh is the first generation after a similar event and subsequent revolt in her home country of fantasy Irel--I mean Machland. She has grown up surrounded by survivors of the blight and revolt, and like everyone who reads Maus learns, generational trauma is a BITCH. So when our dressmaker protagonist is invited to make the wedding clothes for the son of the king who murdered her people, it's politically and emotionally charged. Add to that the fact that Niamh's magic is hereditary and weirdly murdery, and yeah, things are emotional as heck.

Possibly I shouldn't relate quite so hard to a protagonist who is literally hurting herself for people who ultimately couldn't give a damn about her, but that IS my villain origin story, so all I had for Niamh was compassion at how hard a position that is to be in.

Niamh herself is beautifully written, and Saft balances all the threads tied around and pulling at Niamh's heart just beautifully. Every choice is complex and fraught, and so-deeply-ingrained-she-doesnt-even-notice-it impulse to shape herself around other people's pain and grief and comfort them instead of sitting with her own feelings is just stunningly well executed without feeling dramatic or indulgent.

Niamh is so desperate for friends, and the little ring she constructs around herself couldn't be stranger or more wonderful. From the enraged, grumpy Kit to Sinclair to Rosa and Miriam, this found family is wildly unlikely and prickly, but they fit between each other's thorns just perfectly.

And speaking of people having thorns...we need to address Kit Carmine. Younger son of a mad (and abusive before he went mad) king with an alcohol problem and green magic, our boy is GRUMPY. And BLUNT. And honestly I love him for that, because those thorns are hiding a very stressed out, distinctly squishy center. And also one that is deathly afraid of hurting people, because that's also a thing.

Kit is so tangled up between rage and duty and the few people he cares about that he and Niamh really have to work to develop a compassionate understanding based on wildly different personalities. And then you add all the imperialist and decolonizing stress between them plus the fact that KIT IS LITERALLY ABOUT TO MARRY SOMEONE ELSE and it's a whole deal.

There are so many wonderful moments in this book, it was a delight from start to finish. I objectively have more to say about this book, but I want to avoid spoilers here to inspire y'all to go read this book. I promise, it's worth it. Now, go get it and read. *shoos you toward the bookstore/library/tablet/place you get your books from*

[pesterloglog]

Meenah Peixes, Cronus Ampora, Kankri Vantas

Act 6, page 5308

MEENAH: yo that was some scuzzy repartee there even for you crodog

CRONUS: the last thing my feelings need is your harsh judgment. i just cant handle that, on top of evwerything else youvwe done to me.

MEENAH: what the fuck else i done to you??

CRONUS: you ignored me.

MEENAH: ugh

CRONUS: this is serious. please dont dismiss my emotions like that.

CRONUS: look, i havwe an especially tortured and confused sole. i reelly cant afjord anemone more greef from you.

#eh? #ehhhh?

MEENAH: i cannot

MEENAH: B-ELI-EV-E

MEENAH: you are doing my fish pun thing while youre still tryin to hit on me

CRONUS: nyeh. vworth a shot.

MEENAH: dont ever say a fish thing again or ill gut you

CRONUS: you knowv, youre being a bit hypocritical here, dont you think?

MEENAH: what

CRONUS: taking me to task for ripping captor a sorely deservwed newv nook.

CRONUS: like you arent evwen more guilty of abusing the poor fella.

MEENAH: youre such a glubbin liar

CRONUS: oh am i?

CRONUS: tell me, pray tell, vwho vwas it exactly, in vwhich alternate univwerse, that used growvnup captor as a livwing vwarp drivwe in her spaceship for millenia?

#helmsman

MEENAH: hey that wasnt me

MEENAH: i mean

MEENAH: not yet... uh

MEENAH: alternate ways

#38|

CRONUS: oh sure. no grub sauce on your hands!

MEENAH: wow you did it

MEENAH: ampora you totally changed my mind about you lets start makin out immediately

#not

CRONUS: just admit it. you havwe it vwithin you to be just as harsh to our behelmeted buddy as i am, if not more.

#helmchan

MEENAH: man

MEENAH: a girls gotta have fuel for her pimp ride know what im sayin

MEENAH: like

MEENAH: i probably took care of him good

MEENAH: you know how it is someones gotta take care of the guy anyways

MEENAH: and... yeah

#38(

CRONUS: oh, howv the rationalizations begin to flowv vwhen it suits your ovwerinflated ego. so vwery typical of the kind of people vwho reject me.

#i.e. literally evweryone

MEENAH: at least i dont think im an alien

CRONUS: vwhat? vwhat are you talking about?

MEENAH: look at you all frontin in that stupid getup

MEENAH: with your slicked hair and that dumb little wand in your mouth

CRONUS: excuse me. its not a vwand. you knovw perfectly vwell my vwizarding days are behind me. its called a "human cigarette" and apparently youre supposed to set it on fire.

CRONUS: although if you ask me, burning it seems like a vwaste of a perfectly good and cool "cigarette."

MEENAH: i heard a rumor you think youre a human now

MEENAH: that true

CRONUS: its a privwate matter. i dont see vwhy i should havwe to talk about it vwith you, and open myself up to more of your judgmental scorn.

MEENAH: sounds like another desperate cry for attention imo

KANKRI: I feel I sh9uld jump in here at this m9ment, Meenah, 6ef9re y9u inadvertently shame Cr9nus f9r his extremely delicate feelings 9f species dysph9ria.

CRONUS: no, kankri... man, you dont need to jump in here and defend me like this. i got it.

MEENAH: aaaand im gone

MEENAH: you bros can figure out your boring feelings without me

CRONUS: meenah vwait... awv man. just like that, shes out of my life again. you had to go and fuck it up for me, didnt you? some "friends" i havwe.

KANKRI: Listen, I was d9ing y9u a fav9r. Y9u d9n't need t9 6e dating any9ne wh9 can't appreciate y9u f9r wh9 y9u really are, 9r m9re imp9rtantly, which fantasy versi9n 9f y9urself y9u m9st str9ngly identify with.

CRONUS: yeah, youre probably right. she doesnt appreciate me. so fevw of you cats do, really.

#evwen the ones vwho literally identify as cats

CRONUS: to be honest, she might be right. sometimes i think i might only be saying im a human to get attention. maybe i should givwe it up.

KANKRI: I'd 6e extremely disapp9inted t9 hear that, if it were true. That w9uld 6e such a slap in the face t9 all th9se wh9 kn9w themselves t9 6e an alien while trapped in the pedestrian 69dy 9f their 9wn race. It w9uld 6e unspeaka6ly invalidating 9f their struggles and massively triggering t9 their em9ti9ns.

#TW #invalidated struggles #triggered em9ti9ns

KANKRI: 6ut f9rtunately, I kn9w y9u w9uld never st99p as l9w as that. Y9u understanda6ly have d9u6ts a69ut y9ur feelings and pr96a6ly d9wnplay them as a defense mechanism, since s9 few are prepared t9 rec9gnize the legitimacy 9f y9ur plight. 6ut I am, and I just wanted y9u t9 kn9w that I'm here f9r y9u, and am prepared t9 lecture t9 y9u extensively, I mean, listen t9 y9u extensively, a69ut y9ur ultra-imp9rtant pr96lem.

CRONUS: vwowv. thanks, pal.

CRONUS: youre right. my feelings really are real. not fake, like the huge disappointing fraud that magic turned out to be.

CRONUS: i guess the truth is, deep dowvn i alvways knewv i vwas a 1950s-style human greaser.

CRONUS: i just needed to finally be introduced to human culture to make sense of those feelings.

KANKRI: W9nderful. I'm s9 happy y9u have f9und the light 9f truth within y9urself. N9w j9in me in tagging 9ur discussi9n with righte9us warnings, as we c9nsecrate y9ur disadvantage in the h9ly annals 9f Pr96lematics.

[reilleclan-blog]

This world has seriously lost the plot, I am so tired so tired of constantly waking up. This system is collapsing all this news shit is just a compilation of capitalism failing . And I'm so fucking tired of this shit I'm so fucking anxious about every goddamn thing . I hate work no REAL HUMAN BEING SHOULD BE WORKING 40hrs A WEEK . THIS WORLD HAS TAKEN SO MANY THINGS AND JUST REARRANGED THEM INTO DIFFERENT SHIT. SLAVERY IS PRISON SYSTEMS, HAVING A DAMN JOB IS SLAVERY BY CHOICE, ITS ALL BULLSHIT. I'm so angry and sad I'm so sad dude. This world is coming to an end , I wake up everyday like I'm waiting for the sky to fall like I'm chicken little. I remember as a kid I was being abused most of my school years grammar and highschool, and our neighbors would probably hear all of that shit for years and years. But when I'd get off the bus I'd walk past them with my headphones on and I didn't know they were talking to me I didn't hear them or was paying attention and a lot of them took such offense too that. Me a kid being hated on by adults and others because I didn't speak to them , even though everyday of my life I was being beat and verbally abused. But neighbors are worried about me thinking I'm "better than them". And b/c of this my mom got into a very heated argument with them over it, I just remember crying my eyes out b/c I just never understood why ppl hate me for the weirdest shit. Even when I thought I didn't do anything wrong I was always hated. This was my life for years still is my life, on top of still living with my abuser been abused by a lot of my family ppl I thought were supposed to protect me, this is all. My point is ppl only give a fuck about "appearances" nobody gave a fuck about me getting screamed at or me screaming my heart out b/c of how much pain I was dealing with ON MY OWN, but yeah dude call me out for not saying HELLO TO U. This world is just so sick this place makes me physically ill idk how im still going idk how im still trying to hold on to some slither of hope when most of my life I've never felt significant to anyone except my dog.

Black men police black women like police officers police black men, everyone wants some sort of power of control some power of worth. That's why so many ppl are misguided or pointing fingers at everyone else but the damn white supremacists, just conduct us to hate one another and it's that simple. The amount of times a black man felt entitled to me saying hello to them is fucking insane, if I don't say hello I'm likely dead , if I do say hello I'm likely dead, there's no winning in this situation. THERES BLACK WOMEN GOING MISSINF AND BEING KILLED EVERY SINGLE DAY BUT BLACK MEN ARE SO WORRIED ABOUT A FUCKING HELLO??? maybe protect and nurture black women and maybeee more of us would feel safe around yall . I don't feel safe I don't speak I keep to myself and I'm still seen as "rude" "aggressive" "mean" . This place makes NO FUCKING SENSE DUDE IT DOESNT. Ppl are talking about this election left and right, tbh I really don't give a flying fuck about the election this entire system is corrupt , ppl just want Donald stupid ass out of the office b/c he managed to be a menace to even republicans lol it's fucking hilarious . I genuinely loathe this place I'm ready to leave I'm ready to go . Donald Trump is the true damn hokage shoulder all the hate lookin ass(this is a fucking joke)

I'm so fucking tired why have I been lucky still breathing , idkidkidk I can't imagine my future at all I can't see myself being happy I can't see nothing. I'm terrified of this place

ITS 60DEGREES IN FUCKING CHICAGO IN FUCKING OCTOBER WTF IS GOING ONNNNN

[xamaxenta]

So I was looking through your art tag just to vibe cuz your work is fab and I came across the awesome Sabo Cauterizing His Own Wounds piece post Reverie and ended up thinking about how it's a common theme in One Piece that scars will hurt when the one who caused them is fucking around or getting up to no good.

And now all I can see in my minds eye is Sabo clutching at the scar on his stomach and clinging to the wall or the back of a chair because he had to treat the injury himself so it probably healed weird first of all, and second the five elders and Im are definitely up to no good.

Sabo knowing that one of them is nearby because he can feel it in the scar tissue that tears through his insides.

Also cuz I'm soft, imagine Sabo clutching his stomach over the scar mid hanging out with Ace so Ace gets to comfort him and hold him and I get to roll around squealing cuz they are so tender.

Awowu thank you anon !!! The post reverie cauterisation piece is a sleeper piece that got way more attention than I thought it would get and im really grateful people are enjoying it as much as me

I wish i had the guts to finish it as a full coloured piece but idk sketch form feels very raw too and i think if i ever revisit the idea itll be another moment, like i love how you mentioned the scars hurting theme in OP thats 👌🏽

Im on the move and Sabo just fucking feels that in his insides, missteps for a moment goes all pale and sweaty thats soooooo good

Like… what if another Lulusia? Can you imagine the blinding white pain Sabo felt then as he watched an entire island get “vaporised”? I love that panel i want to explore that Sabo expression more irs delightful Oda pls i demand more !!

But you have me thinking about Sabo weak from bloodloss freshly weeping burns painted across his stomach, its distressing perhaps that he doesnt feel that sort of pain anymore, maybe its because hes been burned before, maybe its because he’s the one who did it this time— watching as lulusia is wiped off the face of the grand line and his gut that puncture wound he sealed is fucking burning, lightheaded he just manages to catch himself against the ledge of the small skiff boat theyre fleeing in and just vomits blood and bile and ghskfbrn

Man…

And you also mention Ace lives too and wwwww yeah Ace who also has a . Ahem puncture scar to flaunt get it, he understands and im always very excited to see them hurt comfort together as long as its happy ending bc ill cry if it isnt!!!

Thank you for the super sweet ask anon

[soft4gguk]

Okay... whew.

I've spent the past few nights reading "to build a home" and... just... I don't have words. I don't have the right words to say how MUCH Jungkook's growth meant and how it felt to see him go from a shell, emptied and hollowed out in an instant, to slowly finding his life, that emptiness being filled up by Y/N

The gap he was worried was going to fill Soori's life be filled and his baby (definitely Y/N's baby FOR SURE) to be loved and nurtured and cherished and cradled and given all the care and attention and tenderness and smooches to her CHEEKS that she shouldn't have been denied of for a second

And I wondered... at the beginning if Soori's crying fits, her inability to settle... her UNWILLINGNESS to lie alone in the cot was because all this time... for the first 9 months of her life she HAD felt put aside, had felt neglected in the sense she wasn't given the love or presence of her mum as much as she NEEDED it as a baby

That when Y/N fills that gap and truly raises Soori...Soori's ache and emptiness and lack of a mother figure gets filled... with someone who loves books, loves children and who loves HER with all her heart

THE FEELS.... the sheer amount of FEELS this fic took me through was unbelievable... my heart was full when Kook and hers was... my heart was empty and WEEPING...I WEPT RIGHT ALONGSIDE HER when she was feeling lost of her place in Kook's life and whether she meant enough to him when he was becoming... when HE HAD BECOME everything to her

THE TERROR and uncertainty and insecurities that Kook felt as a father who was just trying to be THERE and be ENOUGH for Soori plagued with doubts that he wasn't doing his best by her but slowly slowly... to where he got to in the latest update realising... maybe yeah... I do love my daughter and I know how to RAISE her and look after her... that I'm doing okay as a dad

BUT HIS PARENTS can go get FUCKED- Tae's absolutely right... they have no right or say in the life of a man nearing his 30s but I think he lets their voices of "reason" be an easy escape from confronting what he feels

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND WEIHWGIWGWIE WE HAVE JIMIN AND LUCY WHO ARE JUST THE SWEETEST LOVE STORY THAT BLOOMED AND STUCK STRONG AND JUST GROWS AND FLOURISHES and I FELT PAIN when Y/N saw Lucy slotting into their lives but not herself because she DOESNT KNOW KOOK LOVES HER OR NOT BUT BABY HE DOES.... MY HEART WENT OUT TO HER SO MUCH

Ngl... Kook wasn't the only one tearing up when Soori turned one because it was a real milestone moment for him as a father, her as a baby, Y/N as a mother figure cataloguing that moment for him on his polaroid but also BABY SOORI?!?!? STOP GROWING SO FAST MY HEART CANT TAKE IT

Like watching her grow as a baby just ACHES... my heart aches... and every chapter I felt sorely DENIED SOORI HUGS-- COS SHE'S A HUGGER AND SHE DESERVES ALL THE HUGS AND I WANT A SOORI HUG

I ALSO WANT Y/N TO STOP FEELING SO INSECURE AND CERTAIN SO JUNGKOOK STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM HER AND RUN TO HER... RUN TO HER AND HOLD HER AND TELL HER YOU LOVE HER... YOU FEEL IT, YOU THINK IT... NOW SAY IT TOO!! DGIWEHGHWEGEWGB

BUT THE ANGST WAS ANGSTING... THE ROMANCE WAS ROMANCING... THE SPICE WAS SPICING... THE FLUFF WAS FLUFFING AND I AM SO IN LOVE

Thank you for writing and sharing Soori and JK's story of parenthood, babyhood and for giving Y/N the growth as a person finding her feet and finding it's OKAY to not go headfirst into your planned out career and life... that this too is just SIGH EVERYTHING

I love love loved reading, loved binging, can't WAIT for more (is there a taglist I could be added to pleeeeease?) and to see their characters grow!

OH MY GOD. you have no idea how much this made me smile whilst I was in agony and sinking into my misery mid illness (im dramatic hehe). but this was such an amazing thing to share with anyone, let alone with me!! so first of all, THANK YOU. for being so interested in my writing and for sending so much love my way, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

I agree with you. I love seeing how much oc loves Soori too!! and how much affection she shows her, something jk was so worried she'd feel the absence of when it all first exploded. she truly did feel that gap and it makes my heart clench istg. I also agree with you in her restlessness deriving from the fact that she was needing that mother figure, as amazing of as a dad as jungkook is, and as much love as he gave her, she's just a little baby. looking for that love comes instinctively to her. and seeing how much better she got after oc came into her life makes me so happy 😩

and uuuuuugh I KNOW. I hate his parents. im actually dreading having to include them in the next chapter I have to write because I just find them insufferable lmao. but tae is such a good voice of reason, and such a good friend. I cannot emphasise enough how much I LOOOOVE writing him, and writing their little talks. of all of them love him so much and they show him such good guidance.

I LOVE JIMIN AND LUCY!!!! I beg, ask for more of them so I can write interludes about them 😭😭 they're so sweet. but no, yeah. I'm not gonna get into it because chapter fourteen has a lot of what you just said and im dyyyyying to see what you think because this ask felt so spot on, almost like you were reading what I was writing behind my back hehehe.

ALSO I KNOW. SOORI IS A HUGGER AND SHE IS GROWING WAY TOO FAST. it makes my heart ache but also im so proud of her she's the best baby ever istg!!!

I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE ENJOYING THE STORY SO MUCH AND THAT IT'S TICKLING ALL OF YOUR SPOTS!!! also, I love that you're taking such good life advice from oc's story, because you are sooo right. it is completely okay to not dive in headfirst into whatever your career choice dictates, or society. or your parents. follow your heart, because that's what she would do!!!

I love you, truly, from the bottom of my heart. I hope you enjoy the next chappie!!! do let me know <3333 kisses & hugs always.

[itsjustfire4]

Guys i have the sirius to my remus. I spend a lot of time in my head and i feel horrible a lot of the time. I dont like when people pay a lot of attention to me because it freaks me out, like they’ll find out something i dont want them to. I worry a lot and im crazy insecure. My bsf, whom i love, is very loud about his care. Dont get me wrong, im not at all complaining, i love him sm and i love that he cares about me. Its just overwhelming sometimes bc i feel like he makes a bigger deal out of some of my issues than they actually are. Hes protective and very expressive when hes worried about someone. Hes contantly asks me if im okay, checks up and asks if ive eaten properly, etc. hes more, forcedul in his care ig is the bast way i can explain in. Kind of hurried, as if ill disapear if he doesnt do something immedeatly. And i love that about him, truely, hes amazing, but i respond better to silent care. Which is what this boy does for me. He listens, he LIKES it when i ramble, he never talks over me, and hes quiet about his care in the best ways possible. When i told him about some home issues he didnt freak out, he made light of the situation and it was exactly what i needed. Theres issues in my life that i have never even said out loud, things im utterly terrified to tell anyone ever. And its like this guy knows exactly what i need. If i were gonna tell anyone these things it would be him. He doesnt make it a big deal, he doesnt ask anything else from me, just silently listens to what i tell him. Hes so gentle and sweet and caring in so many ways. The first timw i cried in fromt of him, it was terrifying bc i hate crying in front of people. He then told me im a pretty crier, and that make me feel so good. Like that calmed my worries instantly. I know he doesnt judge me and fuck its beautiful. I love him so much, hes perfect to me. Like if there was a person who was made to fit the final peice in my puzzle, it was him. However, im not putting him on soem sort of perfect petastole. Hes not perfect, never has been, hes awkward and silly and doesnt know how to respond to a lot of things. He has issues and struggles, things hes scared of and his limits, like every other human. But none of that matters, you know? Like i know hes not perfect but that doesnt make him any less to me. Hes the same guy that makes me grin stupidly when he tells me he loves it when i tell him about the stars. Hes the same guy that didnt talk to me for three days bc he was socially exhausted. Hes the same guy that still came back and asks me to hang out when he has some silly idea. Hes the same guy that was there for me when i came out to my family and comforted me when i was overhwelmed with my emotions. Silences between us arent awkward, we can just BE with each other. Like sit in the same room for hours and not speak and it not be even slightly wierd. Ive had a crush on him since we became friends like three years ago. I dont know if he feels the same at all. But i dont need him to return those feelings. I dont need to date him, i dont need anything more from him. His friendship is all i could ever hope for and its even better because hes become such a CLOSE friend in these years. He means more to me than he will ever know and i am perfectly content with what we have right now. We plan to move in together when we’re older and adopt disabled pets bc they deserve love too. We have ideas on how our household will work and who will do what. I dont want any of that to change, i will never need more from this man. I love him, i dont know in what way but it doesnt matter. Its the samw no matter what.

[ur-local-kiwi]

tell me about your oc's!!

crying sobbing im so happy you asked,,,, ;o;

i have like way too many so im not sure which ones exactly to talk about specifically, but for now ill just ramble about mao and xander because i love them,,,,

so, mao and xander's story is a little complicated and its changed so many times,, ive had them for almost 4 years now, and i had no idea they would be around for so long, especially since i only made mao for a character design class i was taking and nothing more, but now hes evolved into so much more than i anticipated,,, ! i love them :">

anyway, heres their story thus far:

xander is the son of a famous inventor, who has gone off to aid in war, leaving him behind to keep their small repair business running. he struggles a lot, because he doesnt really like inventing or doing the same kind of stuff his father does, but he feels like he has to because his father was such a legend in what he did. xander is clumsy, scatterbrained, and has low self-esteem, but he is always trying his hardest to look on the bright side. however, despite his optimism, he struggles to keep the business going, and he realizes he wants more from life than just living in his father's shadow and failing to meet expectations, but he doesnt know what he wants for himself. searching for answers and at wit's end, he goes to a local abandoned shrine at the edge of town to ask for help,,,,

mao is an ex-deity, once representing great fortune and prosperity. he had a small group of loyal followers, but since then his following has begun to dwindle. he finds himself lonely and isolated, as no other deities really like him all that much, since he often plays pranks to get others' attention but often goes too far. one day, after centuries of slowly losing his influence and power, and after a prank of his went too far and ended in destruction, it is decided that he will be stripped of his deity status and title by the high council ( the council that oversees all otherworldly powers ) and as punishment, he is sent to the mortal realm as a mortal.

he suddenly appears at the shrine after getting a thorough scolding by the high council, right as xander was praying to his shrine. xander looks to him for guidance, not knowing that he is no longer a deity, and mao plays along, hoping that if he can somehow help xander find true prosperity in life by fulfilling his wish, then he can prove to the high council that he has what it takes to become a deity once more.

however, the problem is that neither xander nor mao actually knows what xander's wish actually is,,, xander is still uncertain about what he wants out of life, hoping that mao will guide him, and mao is uncertain of what to do to help him, since he cant help if xander doesnt know what he wants. so, they both go on their journey of self-discovery, developing a very close relationship along the way as they travel from place to place in hopes to find xander's true wish.

i hope i explained it well !! its still a work in progress but its what i have for them so far :> basically its just two silly guys going on their silly guy adventures,,, i love them so much <333

i dont have many good drawings of them sadly, but this is the most recent one i have of the two together ! i need to finish coloring this ;v; ( as the names on the drawing say, xander is the one on the left and mao is the one on the right ! )

i hope this helps, sorry for so much writing !!

[quodekash]

its friday night/saturday morning, you know the drill

im sorry 

pls gimme more threezo today

i love him and his fluffy curly hair so so so much

MY BOYS

pls tell me what happened to zo 

HIM AND HIS WORRIED BOYFRIEND FACE GHRBGHJR

he just wants him to be okay 🥺😭

HE SAID IT 

im crying

why do these two have to make me FEEL things? 

somehow in my head i read “hes mad as a hatter” in the voice of a little british lad and its very amusing to me and now you know

specifically a little british lad from an old movie where the audio is all crackly and too loud 

LOOK AT THE MAN’S HAIR

no i will not shut up about his hair 

bro you are not subtle

bro you are not subtle 

MY BOY

i know i just watched 1000stars like three days ago, but it always makes me so happy whenever his incredibly but beautifully thick eyebrows appear on my screen. 

im just realising how weird that sound 

i meant his eyebrows along with the rest of his face 

the existence of drake sattabut laedeke makes me happy 

thats what i was trying to say 

ooo yes i was hoping for more detail on jack’s depression. he really intrigues me as a character 

me every day

hell yeah, consent is key, folks 

the mattress is on an angle 

thats really bugging me 

can someone fix that please 

surely thats some kind of safety hazard 

why doesnt the mattress fit the bed frame 

why isnt there some way to keep the mattress in place 

what if youre a restless sleeper and you toss and turn and you fall off the bed and you knock your head on it? 

if you knock it hard enough you could get a concussion 

concussions arent good 

they can lead to a lot of bad consequences 

people should think more about concussions and concussion consequences when they design beds 

concussion consequences is fun to say 

concussion consequences concussion consequences concussion consequences, say it 5 times fast 

oh yeah that’s right, theyre kissing 

i got distracted by the mattress 

the group is together!! :DD 

i love their group dynamics 

but most importantly

THREEZO

i am no longer enjoying the group dynamics

why do they have to fightttt

(i lied, im still enjoying the group dynamics. in fights, people are hurtful but truthful, so fights give a huge insight into the characters which is wonderful for analysis and picking the character apart) 

this is the second episode in a row that three has lost his temper on the others a little bit and left the room at the end and zo has said ‘ill check on him’ and followed after him 

anyway i love zo for it 

he is good boyfriend

he is good friend

he is... hungry i think

^D^

i freaking love this man

bro their relationship is so freaking healthy 

zo asks for permission to enter the room

he ignores the response, but only to keep him company. and i suspect that he knows him really well and knows that three should have someone with him, just to be there with him and help him relax 

and he tries to bring three’s attention from the thoughts swirling around his mind and onto his physical presence, and three gets a little angry 

but he communicates with zo, he tells him that he will answer questions, just not at that moment. he’s telling him that he’s willing to talk and communicate, but he needs time to understand so that he can explain his thoughts and feelings coherently. and he doesnt push zo away, either physically or verbally, so he tells him without words that he appreciates his presence, and he’s glad to have him there. he just cant really verbally communicate what’s going on right now, and that’s okay! 

and then zo speaks to him. he gives him words of comfort, affirmation, support. he also provides the perspective of the others, a snippet of an insight into life outside of his own mind. “we all really did our best.” 

“just because we lost once doesnt mean we will lose forever” ITS SO COMFORTING AND PERFECT how does he always seem to know the right thing to say 

PLEASE THEYRE TOO CUTE 

...

you know what im thinking 

the msp brainrot is too strong 

YIM SE YIM SE YIM SE 

NGOW NGOW

anyway 

VRJHDF HE SAID IT AGAINNNNN

i couldve gone more in depth about why theyre perfect but it’s 1am and im tired so i wont 

“your hug can actually kill me. but im willing to die in your arms, zo” YOURE KIDDING. IT’S TOO CUTE. THEYRE TOO CUTE. THEYRE DESTROYING ME. AAAAAAAAAA VJRENJKR

I KNEW SHE KNEW 

SOMEONE HAD TO KNOW AND THAT SOMEONE HAD TO BE AOI 

reminding me of tinn’s little head scratch and “what just happened” in episode 4 after he accidentally made sound join the music club via hatred of him 

oh hell yes, obligatory beach episode next week 

the obligatory beach episode almost always ends up as my favourite episode 

OMG THREEZO AT THE BEACH 

I CANT WAIT 

FINAL THOUGHTS: 

im really glad cher and gun have finally figured out their relationship 

i need to go to sleep 

threezo are the greatest