#IF IVE TYPED ANYTHING WRONG AND NOT FIXED IT JUST TELL ME

[bestfictionaldinosaur]

Best Fictional Dinosaur Tournament: Saurischian Bracket; Round 1E, Poll 4/8

[afternines]

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[ebonysplendor]

Prescription: LOVE (Demo) Review👨‍⚕️💊

TL;DR: I've got a head injury? I'm gonna need a doctor! How's my memory been? It's been fine. Wait, what? I've got a head injury? I'm gonna need a doctor! How's my memory been? It's been fine. Wait, what? I've got a head injury? I'm gonna need a doctor!

Game Link: https://livingslime.itch.io/prescriptionlove

Notable Features: Self-Insert, Yandere LI, gender neutral language, 2 endings Spiciness: 0/5 -- Don't get me wrong, it's not wholesome either, but this is the type of LI that'll make you say "But daddy, I love him!" even though something is clearly off. LI Red Flags: 2/5 -- Gaslighter, obsessive tendencies, overly "medicating" us DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. HE'S SO SWEET. I CAN FIX HIM.

Wanna know more? Well, let's get into it!

Okay, not gonna lie, this review is long overdue, because I played this like...maybe 3 or 4 days after the initial drop, and here I am, like, 3 weeks later lmao.

Um...okay, you know what? I'm-- I'm not gonna push myself to write an intro this time lol. I mean, since when is it ever good to push yourself? ...Sometimes, the answer is sometimes, but you should never push yourself too hard, ya know? ...I'm getting off track.

I guess I could start by saying how I found this game on a total accident, and holy shit, am I glad that I found this game regardless. It was damn good, and...honestly, a little unnerving at times. Like, I'll tell you more about it later, but let me tell you, one part in particular had me genuinely spooked.

Anyways, before I get too far into my yap session, I'm going to go ahead and tell you about the game -- with as little spoilers as possible, of course. I mean, how would you be motivated to play the game otherwise unless I leave just enough suspense and mystery? Exactly, so allow me a moment to set the scene, and let's get into it.

So, boom.

We wake up...somewhere.

No, like you don't get it. Logically, it's like, duh, hospital, but we have a whole ass IV in our arm, a splitting headache, and it's almost painfully obvious that our memory took a hit, because we don't remember damn near anything, you feel me? We have, what is essentially, a hole where our memories are supposed to be, and the memories that we do have are so fragmented that they doesn't make any sense. Like...what the hell happened, ya know?

At this point, we're making things worse, because we're trying to force ourselves to remember something -- anything -- and our brain is just like "Mmm...nah. How about we panic, though? Let's do that instead." So, we do. We start feeling really anxious because it's like, how do we go from remembering everything one moment, blink, and then just...virtually no memories at all? Like, nothing? Like, we can't even recognize what a hospital looks like or even is.

"Hey, hey, it's okay".

Huh?

Oh! Oh, hello~! Could this be our boyfriend? Fiancé? Husband~?

"I'm Dr. Anselm."

I mean...he didn't say that he wasn't our husband, ya know? :3 Okay, wait, wait, no, stop, don't distract me. Let me get back on track.

Anyways, this tall gentleman helped us regain control of our nerves and informed us that we were perfectly safe and were currently in a hospital. Dr. Anselm basically told us that he has been overseeing our care and that he was the one in charge of our surgery.

...Wait, our fucking what?!

Before we get too freaked out, though, he tells us that we had some kind of accident that involved blunt force to our head which naturally caused a traumatic brain injury. He then tells us that, when we were brought it by the paramedics, we were in need of an emergency operation in order for us to live. Oh, and we had been asleep for two days straight. Well damn...

Imagine not remembering what you even ate for breakfast yesterday -- well, two days ago -- and this random man who claims to be a doctor comes out of the woodwork and tells you that you had brain surgery. If I could just reiterate once more...what the hell happened?!

Even still, admittedly, Dr. Anselm is being super gentle about the whole thing, and it's bringing a good amount of comfort and security, like everything is going to end up okay; he's even going to let us call our family to let them know that we've pulled through and that we're safe...even though, it's a bit off that no one's visited to start with.

No matter though, because it's past curfew anyways, and Dr. Anselm is adamant that we should rest first and call tomorrow. Fair enough. Rest is a part of recovery after all, and we'd rather get our memories back sooner versus later, not to mention that we actually are a little tired. Lmao, now here's when the issues start coming in...

See, we managed to fall asleep, but then the creak of the door woke us up. Now, at first, we're like "Meh, probably the nurses checking in or whatever", but the issue is, remember when I was like we felt a sense of comfort and security from Dr. Anselm? Lmao, this shit was far from comfortable, let alone safe. So, we make the mistake of we look at the door, and in the gap --

Lmao nah, ain't no way. We're hallucinating.

BRO, AIN'T NO FUCKING WAaaaAAAaAaAaaAAaY. WE ARE NOT HALLUCINA-- DoCTOr ANSEeEEeEEEeeeELM!!!!

Bro, we hit that call button so fast, but that thing also ran off just as fast before Dr. Anselm came rushing in. So, naturally, now we look like we're experiencing the side effect of delulu, because we're trying to explain that we saw something that was clearly not there, but it's like...bro, no, we know what the fuck we saw! Like, dude, please do something!

As always, Dr. Anselm's being super sweet and promised that he'd look into it and get someone to check the security cameras. He encourages us to try to go back to sleep so we don't disrupt our recovery, and, oddly enough, we're able to, even after that.

The next morning, comes along, and Dr. Anselm let's us call our folks, like promised, but...no answer. Hurtful, but okay. Dr. Anselm, also like promised, tells us that they checked the security cameras, and there was no one watching us from the door. Great. So, now we're two for two in this bitch. Perfect.

Still, leave it to Dr. Anselm to help us feel better, though, so it doesn't weigh on us too much for too long. He really is our knight in shining...lab coat.

Even though, with all that medicine he's been giving us...

Not to mention, we had this vividly weird dream...

And, sometimes, there's these weird little flickers in his expression when we ask certain questions or say certain things...

Is Dr. Anselm really trying to help us? Or...

...is it benefitting him that we don't know what happened to us?

Then again...

Nah, that's kind've delulu to think. He's done nothing but try to prioritize our health and recovery. We're safe. We can trust him. It the doctor's orders, after all, and he'd know what's best for us.

4 words: I CAN FIX HIM.

No, no, no, no, no, hear me out! I can fix this one! Like, the red flags are there, but I can FIX him! Is he the one that caused us to have a traumatic brain injury? Maybe. Is he over-medicating us? Possibly. Am I gonna overlook all of that? Absolutely. I mean, who cares that I have an intense suspicion that we're not actually in a hospital and that we're just in a basement that's staged to look like a hospital. Who hasn't played doctor before? I ain't gonna fault this man for trying to heal his inner child and playing pretend. Like, honestly? Good for him.

Okay, but no, enough of that. This...was really good! It physically hurts me that this game is not done yet, but I am so excited that this game isn't done yet, because I am anticipating the hell out of what is next to come. The developer really has a strong foundation, and I can only imagine how they're going to build on it.

The pacing is a little slow, but it's not a bad slow! It's literally seeping us into the story, and I honestly feel like the pacing could not have been executed any better than it has been. This flowed exactly how I feel a demo or prologue or intro or whatever you wanna call it should. I just know that whenever there's an update, shit is going to start getting real, and I cannot wait for that!

Let's talk about the environment/atmosphere...ooh bitch. Let me just say this, I can watch all of the horror movies in the world and be totally fine. I can watch let's plays of horror games and read scary stories...but I cannot be in the situation myself. Haunted houses/trails? Playing horror games myself? Shit scares me out of my soul. That being said, that part where it was talking about being watched through the crack of the door? Chills. Fucking chills. I don't know what it was, because that's not anything revolutionary, especially in these yandere games, but for some reason, the way that the dev executed it just hit different. And the art! Like did you see the CG?! Lmao nah, nah, let me remind you. Actually, let me zoom in on it.

Like, what the fuck is thaaaaaaaaat?! (╥ᯅ╥)

I didn't mention this, because I was narrating/summarizing, but I had genuine fear tears when I read through it the first time, and it was somehow worse when I had to grab and attach the screenshots and type through that part. Like, I HATE shit like this, bro! Like, just make it obvious! Don't put faces and figures and shit like that in the darkness and barely out of view to the point where you can't see it unless you focus on it!

I was literally squinting my eyes and reading fast as shit because I wanted to read it, but I wanted to get through it and away from this scene, but I also wanted to prep myself for a possible jumpscare. Like, developer. De-ve-lo-per. Pop off. This part was so good, and I loved/hated every second.

I'm doing that yap thing that I do again, so I'm going to save you from the rest of my ramblings and start winding down. If you do not already have this downloaded and ready to play, you have got to do that expeditiously. I am telling you, I know I say this about a lot of these visual novels, but this is one that I absolutely cannot allow you to miss out on. This one is so good! Just don't get too invested, because it's just a demo. I suggest going to the game's page, putting your pride aside, and beg for an update as soon as possible -- respectfully, of course. It should be common sense, but don't harass the dev for an update ... but damn, do I hope they come through with an update soon. Very soon. Tomorrow actually...today.

Anyways, here's the link. Go download it, and tell the dev that your life is theirs, because I'm honestly contemplating starting a cult in their honour. I'll sacrifice the nearest weeb for two extra lines of reading material in this visual novel. I'm serious. I'm yapping again...

Okay, anyways! Ending it for realsies this time. Again, I highly recommend giving this game a playthrough. Here's the link to the game page and download...again. If you're able to donate to the cause, donate to the cause, as I'm sure the dev would seriously appreciate the monetary support. Oh! And just as a "pro"-but-not-really-tip: for right now, the choices are more of an "illusion of choice". The endings will be worded the same no matter what, so there's no extra dialogue or CGs, or secret options, or anything like that. It'll just be dialogue pertaining to that specific answer choice at that specific time, and then it's not brought up or mentioned again after it's done.

And...that's it! Lol I'm finally done yapping. Big preesh for getting this far! Please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Prescription: LOVE (Demo)

[supermaks]

No but what is red bull doing with this car??? I just can't understand how they're suddenly having so much issues. It feels like the McLaren car is great in every track while we're are struggling everywhere.

My impression is that mclaren have now a superior car and they might put some serious pressure on the championship. No hate to the mclaren drivers, but they're not doing justice to that car. The only reason max keeps winning still is because he's leagues better.

Tbh its still too early to tell but the more rbr talks about the suspension and what they think the problem is, the more sense it makes to me. Its not at all a new thing, actually its kinda part of the design itself. Like the red bull philosophy wid the 2022 regs was to maximize the aerodynamic components by keeping the suspension as stiff as possible. rb18 and the rb19 were uncompromising cars from the start, but the ground force generated was so ahead of everybody elses rbr cud have the most rigid mechanical components and still produce better lap times than the competition just because they were able to lower their rear very consistently. So for instance they get to an outlier like Singapore that has such bumpy characteristics and like explode but it doesnt matter because for most of the calendar the ride height holds and they have the advantage. Its a very milton keynes adrian newey led type of compromise regarding car design which means its not a compromise at all and it kinda expects its immediate and total sovereignty to be its own justification. I dont think rbr is doing anything 'wrong' wid the car, its just that the car was always bound to hit a limit in performance and kinda coasted on other team's setbacks. That and yes, there are lil operational mistakes throughout race weekends happening rn that didnt exist last year and cud be attributed to some uncertainty regarding car development, the turmoil inside the organization, some fatigue, etc. Time will tell if they can fix the problem or if its something to try and minimize until the next regulatory cycle

About the Mclaren, and why it looks so spooky, seems MTC have been able to develop a car that not only employs the same suspension trick as rbr, but is able to make it work to its full potential, particularly by absorbing bumps and kerbs more effectively, which is something the rb20 as of now cant do. Basically its an all around more balanced car wid better handling. Without the first SC yesterday Lando wud have put a 20 sec gap no problem. By fp3 both Mclarens were already lapping like 2 seconds faster than the rb20 so like clearly that pace is here to stay. Whether itll translate into a full fledged wdc fight it will depend on the next big 4 updates because all the top cars have room to improve in the upcoming european leg. mcl38 has a lot of potential tho and not being hindered by the suspension the way rb20 is makes it a significant threat. Also like Mclaren is still making some basic strategy errors that usually tend to go away once the team settles more into its new role in the competition.

Ab ur last comment, idk personally I think zak browns bj brothers are doing a really good job keeping pressure and staying consistent, especially Lando, but its also their first taste of a truly competitive car so its normal for them to miss out on some pole positions or maybe not drive some stints as well. I think Ive commented on this before but sometimes it does come down to experience. 2023 had some hints of a possible Mclaren resurgence but they were few and too spaced out for the drivers to be able to truly build on it. On the other side u have a world champion coming out of 3 consecutive title runs 1 of which was one of the most competitive in recent memory, and another the most dominant. Mclaren is intent on building momentum and Max wont let them. Rbr are in limbo but Max isnt. Wid much respect to everybody else but like either put ur best foot forward every time or better luck next year 😐

[kyokikia]

Dine and dash!

Pairings ; Portgas D. Ace × fem!reader

Request from @luvfzw : heyy can i request a female reader and any one piece char of your choice with a platonic partners in crime trope? (With a smidge of romance if you want)

(thank you for the request! And my night is going great, ty for asking as well!)

Type, fluff and platonic, partners in crime trope

Warnings, cursing (both in dialogue and in the actual story) and thats about it, y/n is used 2-3 times

Likes and reblogs are very appreciated!

alr so ik the main storyline is dine and dashing, but ive never actually dine and dashed.. so uhm, i'll just work with what i think is how it works! Im really sorry if i got it wrong, feel free to send over an ask or a message if i did anything wrong and i'll fix it!

You and Ace were what some people would call partners in crime. Did that mean you guys committed crimes together a lot? Yea of course, you were his best friend after all. You and Ace had each other's back unconditionally, and everyone could tell. You both were always together, honestly knowing he knew your weaknesses better than you did your own, and vice versa. Both of you also seemed to be in sync, so much so that it was worrying. You both always knew what the other wanted when together, which meant you mostly knew what the other felt most of the time, and this included whenever you both felt hungry. Which led you to today.

You and Ace walked around an island that the ship decided to stay in for a day and a night, just to resupply some necessities, take a break, the usual. And you and Ace took this time to wander around the island's city, turns out this island was quite well-of and sort of large, a few shopping districts, good housing, very nice restaurants, an actually nice hospital, and good-looking hotels. Walking all over the city had both of you hungry after a few hours, so both of you started looking for restaurants to eat in.

Both of you agreed not to go for too much of a fancy restaurant, but not too bad of a restaurant either, you wanted good food after all. The pair of you chose a restaurant that was kind of crowded, and thankfully it wasn't those kinds of restaurants where you needed reservations and all that. You both found a table and after ordering, you both didn't wait too long before getting your food served.

You were both seated at a table not too far from the exit, but not the most easily noticeable or seen by the staff. You contentedly watched Ace as he was satisfying his near bottomless stomach while you also ate to your heart's content. The two of you conversing about stupid stuff, and also more silently, talking about how you're gonna get the fuck out of there without paying this time. This wasn't your first time committing these kind of not so harmless shenanigans with him.

The food was good in your opinion, but you both made sure not to spend too long there and when you both finished up, you got up, and left, after telling Ace to come in a few minutes, which he did not listen to. "Ace what the hell!" You whisper-shouted with no serious anger laced in your voice as you watched him exit out of the diner's doors just a minute after you left.

"Why'd you leave so soon!" You whined, bickering with him with a slight teasing manner. He looked at you while smiling with his usual grin, before replying with, "well, because i know I wouldn't get caught!" His response got him an obvious facade of being offended, "I? You deadass think only you wouldn't get caught?" You remarked, with a fake scoff leaving your mouth right after.

His grin grew larger at your scoff, before he quickly answered with, "Yea well I don't think you would get caught but I'm ju—" "just better than me?" You interrupt him, with a knowing smile on your face, before he looks straight in your eyes, "yea. i'm better than you." You look at him and his eyes as he says that, before deciding to turn away frohe freckled man, and you started distancing yourself and walking away from the restaurant and Ace, with him quickly trying to catch up, "hey! y/n! you know i was only joking!"

After he says that, you stop walking and say, "Yea yea i know! But—" the last part of your sentence, you purposefully pause and whispered. Before continuing it with a, "Last one to the ship actually has to pay for the next restaurant visit we go to!" You exclaim with a joyful grin before taking off, running back to where you came from. Ace takes a moment to register what you said, and why you're running off, and what'll happen if he loses. And once he does take it in, his eyes quickly widen before he takes off after you.

"y/n! This is unfair! You got a headstart!" Ace complained, running after you as he quickly tries catching up, the two of you running back to the ship. Eventually, you run out of stamina and start to tiredly walk, Ace not as run down on stamina as you are. "Alright alright Ace! We're done with the race—" you mutter while out of breath, the both of you were close to the ship anyway.

He slows down to match your pace, letting you regain your breath and you both approach the ship, "well, looks like i win!" Ace exclaimed cockily, "yea yea whatever." You replied in frustration at having to pay for the next meal, especially with his bottomless stomach.

"Don't worry about paying for the next meal, i'd rather not pay at all" he assured, "but.. you and me, we go out and steal for a hefty load of berry the next stop we have, alright?" He declared, and to which you gladly accepted. It's free money, and you get to commit crimes with Ace, win win for you all the way!

Alright so sorry this is kinda trash, first one shot i really finished that i'm actually gonna post! I dont know how dine and dash works so i also apologize for that, and im also sorry if you wanted something more intense in the sense of partners in crime! I'm really sorry if you wanted something like robbery or something like that, my brain just couldn't figure a storyline for anything other than this. Please let me know if its to your liking!

[aceduchessdragoness]

This is a segment of a Story posted by [@]motaz_azaiza on Instagram. It was shared a couple of days before 2024.

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[id: For this, I’m going to separate the dialogue and what is happening in the video. Motaz is explaining the situation.

-- I’m gonna be honest, I’m not 100% sure I translated everything he said correctly. For example, I wrote “al-Shifa” hospital, but I’m not sure if that was correct. So if you know something is wrong, please tell me so I can fix it! Thank you! Also, I don’t speak Arabic, so if there’s anything you hear/translate that you think I should add, let me know.

- - - - -

Motaz_azaiza: I’m inside the intensive care unit in al-Shifa hospital, in the middle area. As you can see … How it looks from inside the intensive care room … [trails off as nurses/doctors talk to each other]

- - - - -

Throughout the entire video there are beeping sounds from medical equipment. The clip shows the ICU in al-Shifa hospital. There’s medical supplies strewn across the floor, some used, some not fully-used. There are open, empty boxes and plastic bags, crumpled cloth, and – presumably – paper towels, some clean, some bloodied. Pushed against the walls are medical equipment, drawers opened and the tops literally piled with more supplies.

Two ICU members search through the cabinets and drawers, while behind them, against the furthest corner, stands a group of 5 men, three of them wear scrubs, and I’m unsure if the other two are also part of the ICU team, as they’re partially blocked.

To the left, in the other corner, are two men holding each other by the shoulders; on the ground beside them is a person covered with a sheet and hooked up to an IV. Only their sock-covered feet and head remain uncovered, but their face is blocked by the group of 5 men.

On the other side of the room, next to a piece of medical equipment, is another patient who’s laying on a medical stretcher, covered with a sheet, and also hooked up to IV. They’re face is blocked by a woman wearing all black, and she’s resting a hand on their chest.

Next to them is another patient. They have been covered with a new sheet, the old, bloodied one besides them near their feet. It’s hard to describe this person because of the distance, and because the sheet blocks everything except a peek of a dirtied foot, and an arm that’s been pulled out to hook up to an IV. The blanket underneath them is checkered-patterned with black and gray, so the face is difficult to make out.

A man wearing a green vest-jacket walks in, holding papers. He talks to a member of the ICU team. In the background, the two men who were holding each other’s shoulder are hugging and crying. Moatz moved a bit closer to the back of the room and zooms in on them, and as it pans over to the other patients you can finally glimpse the person’s face; it’s clean, but their head is covered with a smaller sheet.

Upon a closer look, there are larger tubes attached to the person with the black-clad woman. Their head appears to be shaved, and it’s wrapped with gauze. – It may be presumptuous of me, but the person be dying, and the woman has come to say her goodbyes. The IV I think I see could instead belong so another type of equipment. It just doesn’t make too sense to me why a patient would be laying on a stretcher.

The patient next to them is also panned across; their face is still hard to see, but it’s obviously bloodied, and so is their arm. It twitches. /id]

[sentientgopro]

Hey y'all, not exactly active on here, especially when talking about myself, but I really need to get some shit off my chest right now. I had a couple realisations yesterday that culminated in some shit I never thought I would be saying or thinking.

I never thought I could be anything but straight. I liked women, so I mustve been straight. Im definately an advocate for everyone giving their gender true consideration, even when most will come out the other side cis, and confidently so, as did I.

Then I realised I didn't like women in the way most straight guys do. Afer clearing up some prior misconceptions about Aromanticism and asexuality, I realised those two labels fit me perfectly. But sometimes I wonder why I still feel a certain way about girls. There's just something about the way they look that's appealing to me, even if I dont find girls attractive...

Oh shit. That wasn't attraction. That was envy.

So that train of thought kind of went from 0 to 10 real fucking fast. This realisation brought to my attention feelings that Ive had for a good while, but have passed off as r/196 induced brainrot. Besides, and this is the biggest thing that stopped me realising this earlier, I dont feel that who I am now is wrong. I look in the mirror, and I see myself. But I've only recently kinda grasped the concept that being trans isn't all about dysphoria, having dysphoria is not always the way to tell. Although I dont think being a man is wrong, fucking hell, being a girl would be much better. And it feels so fucking weird actually typing that.

But what I'm saying is, atleast for the time being, I could manage to just not do anything. Which is for the better seeing as my parents would start screaming at me for saying anything remotely in the direction of being an ally. And I live on TERF Island. Transitioning would be an absolute pain in the ass, especially right now, so it kinda feels like why bother when the way I am doesnt really feel wrong. Transitioning could be quite dangerous and have big risks, it kinda just feels like I dont need that shit in my life, Im already running on fumes and a list of people I need to outlive. I usually hold a mindset of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", but this usually applies to binary things, like if my team wins using the same strat a few times in a row in CS, "Do it again, ain't broke, don't fix", but this is not nearly as binary as that, this isn't a win/loss.

Something that is both comforting and a little concerning is that no matter what, there is atleast a 2 year hold on this. I should be able to go to uni after that and start living my own life, but as of right now, doing something like transitioning is NOT an option. Ive got a 2 year long planning phase and Ive kinda just been taking stock tbh. I don't think "that" period of my life hit too hard, Im still skinny (Yeah, ik skinny =/= feminine but its better than being buff imo) kinda fuckin tall, if my growth follows the same as my brother did which it is so far Im gonna be like 6'3 by the end of that 2 years (6'1 now) so thats probably gonna be more of a mild annoyance than a genuine problem. My voice varies ALOT, I can have a pretty damn low voice, and a bit of a higher pitch, it naturally varies, I normally find I talk in a higher pitch when I'm happier and lower when Im trying to appear more... normal? idk, theres probably somrthing to think about in that.

Honestly idk, theres no real end point to this, I just wanted to talk about this somewhere. As much as I never saw myself being in this position, I use r/196, play ULTRAKILL, and Study Computer Science and want to continue it as a career path, cmon, it was only ever a matter of time, this was inevitable.

[bpdonni]

im falling apart and i dont know if i can fix it.

ive never felt worse in my life. ive been in the psych ward twice, but those times don't hold a candle to now.

i cant afford to live. i cant afford to die. my family can see that im struggling-the very ugly and worst parts of myself are on full blast. im hurting everyone, especially cedric. he's just trying to keep everything afloat, but im too busy in my own head to do what i need to in order to make up for it. most people who interact with me hate me. i always wondered why, but as i lay around in this ball ive been in all day, im realizing that everything i was put through was too much. it made me into a monster. im always mooching off my mom and brother but they hardly ever even message me anymore. my own fucking father hates me. my best friend in the world got tired of my shit. ive become tired of trying, so i only really try at the one thing that keeps me useful at all. the only thing that is keeping me alive, but killing me even more: work. i like my job! but its lonely because of the night shift, and that im too awkward to try to make any friends there.

my coping mechanisms are further dragging me down. ordering food when we can't afford it at all. hypersexuality. self-isolation. it's making me a selfish, horrible person. but was i ever not a shitty person? i don't think so. all i have to offer anymore is the money i make that very barely keeps us afloat. and i keep going to the train station, but i just... can't end it. i want to. but i can't bring myself to do it. whether it's because of the stop being crowded, or chickening out, or realizing me dying won't actually lessen the load on my family... i know this last point to be true in theory, but what good am i doing here? i dont have the energy to be the parent i need to be. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE A PARENT I LOVE THEM I SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE THIS BUT WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME WHY THE DUCK AN I THE ONE PICKING UP THE PIECES IM BIPOLAR AND BPD IM DOOMED BY THE MOTHERFUCKING NARRATIVE WHY ME WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY IM DESTINED TO KILL MYSELF IM NOT GONNA LIVE PAST 30 SO WHY AM I THE FUCKING ONE WHO HAS TO DO THIS WHY COULDN'T THEY STAY OFF METH WHY DO THEY REFUSE TO LOVE ME- ah i can't blame them on that last part i hate me too. that's in large part their fault. and the part of my life that i cling to, the one thing i know for certain: my queerness. i love it but why couldn't it be something that you know people liked? so many people voted for donald fucking trump so they could see people like me kill themselves for their comfort? why do i need to be the bigger person and deal with it? i can barely think of anything else besides death, WHY? my baby polar bear. it occurred to me that i think she was actually only 10 or 11. what did i do wrong? i know the answer to that. couldn't afford to take her to the vet when i KNEW something was wrong? now instead of paying back the vet, im drowning in the costs to cremate her. god, i cant get her face out of my mind. i tried to close her eyes, her mouth, but rigor mortis had set in too much. i could smell the death on her not quite breath. i took the responsibility of making sure the kids and my partners didn't have to see that. i wish she hadn't been alone. i wish that i had checked her cage as soon as i came home. god, the smell of death is one that you never forget. i can still smell it now. from when i saw the decapitated corpse and her sloughing skin, to boo boo... this is the most raw look of death ive ever seen, two instances in the past couple of months. it's gross, it's ugly, it's scary. so why do i want to be dead so bad? why do i want to do this to everyone i love? why can't people see that im in complete fucking ruin? it's starting to become pretty apparent now, but still. i can't really... get this out. because if i tell anyone the extent, my trips to the train station, typing my legal information in my phone when i forgot to bring my id, because i was so sure that time that i was going to do it. ive also been staring longingly out the window of the 7th floor at work, thinking about taking the elevator to the 10th floor and jumping. it'd be a nice view before i go at least. i could also take all the pills in the house (except the others prescriptions.) weve got all these huge bottles of tylenol- talked to my husband. theyre making me a grilled cheese.

[cherrybomboyfriend]

as the fireflies retreated and the sky turned light blue… a pimp from Augusta told me about you

may 11th, 2024.

this is my third consecutive night of writing myself to sleep in this ranty multi-paragraph style. very light connotation on multi-paragraph though because i actually enjoy the process of just consecutively talking instead of organizing my thoughts like condiments on shelves ready for consumption. consume this dick. i’m not for sale. not yet at least… i want to be in the future. i’m the type of person that doesn’t want to admit how gluttonous they are though because of a lingering fear of cracking the inconspicuous paint i’ve smeared onto myself. i never allow myself to speak of anything that goes on inside of these walls because of set rules ive had with myself since the dawn of time. since my neurodivergence has caused me an inconvenience whenever it comes to social customs and hierarchies, i’ve somehow created my own.

1. i’m not allowed to talk about the things that inspire me.

2. i’m not allowed to tell people too much about my past.

3. i’m not allowed to talk about what makes me growl like a sick animal.

do you want to know the things that convert my gluttony from a simple sin to an overarching sick obsession?

the fact that i want to be famous. i want to be rich and i want to be famous. i lie online and say that im anti-celebrity when in reality; when in paradise, i’m a household name. i want people that have wronged me in my past to feel as if they owe me like they owe their rent. what makes me sick is the way that i treat people. i care about my own comfort more than i care about others. is that truly sick? what makes me voracious are the wee hours of the night that i spend eating my entire kitchen as my family is asleep. the way i feed on everything in eye’s view, the way i can never stop even when told to. i starved myself to reverse it but i still have stretchmarks. what are scars but memories we can’t forget? well princess, you’ve given me ample to show since they haven’t yet faded. i’ll forgive you, although you never quite seem to get it. i love you, although you don’t love me more.

my therapist today told me that my lack of sleep and erratic behavior is probably due to hypomania, which i call bullshit as a grin grows from the side of my mouth while thinking about the new medication i’ll be put on this week. i’m excited because the side affects list that my research showed consisted of less anxiety and low appetite, which is a bullseye shot for me! i hope it fixes something. the paint cracks with each and every word that spills out of me about how much better i want to be. it breaks rule number 1.

1. i’m not allowed to talk about the things that inspire me.

what inspires me is finding out the multiple ways in which i am three dimensional. i change. im not just happy and sad. i’m not just manic and depressed. i’m not just social and lonely. i’m the in-betweens. i’m that feeling you get whenever you stalk your ex from middle school on instagram for hours until the sun rises. i’m that feeling you get after smoking a cigarette for the first time and thinking about how your lungs will never be as pink again. i’m that neighborhood you heard about from a top 10 list on youtube that’s most notorious for being full of pimps and hookers. i’m that feeling you get after having an orgasm that tickles you from the inside out with a slimey ick that you’ll soon grow obsessed with. i’m the commercial. im the intermission. i’m the birds that chirp tunes outside of your window at 5 am every morning. i always have been. as the fireflies retreated and the sky turned light blue, my cells and bones turned into diamonds and gold.

[swag-system]

me when i realize i might actually be doomed

the pain spread to my right arm making it difficult to type at all unless im on painkillers. my family refuses to drive me to urgent care saying "theyll just tell you to ice the pain" (i have tried every at home suggestion ive seen including icing the pain and heating the pain and stretches and painkillers and literally everything dude. literally nothing has fixed it. in fact, the pain is getting worse!!) and if i wanted to walk itd be 4 hours and thats if i kept a good pace (I am severely out of shape so a good pace is unlikely. hell, even making it there with a 4 hour walk is unlikely). i do not consider it safe to drive myself at the moment because if my painkillers wear off ill likely be in too much pain to move my arms again (not good when you're supposed to hold a wheel and shift gears and such!!) and i prefer to not be in a car accident from losing control of the wheel

i dont have any friends that even live in my state so i got nobody to drive me to the hospital with my families refusal. im literally stuck and in pain and i really got no fuckin clue what to do. i dont know whats wrong with my body or why its doing this and i know even less about what to do about it. i dont really expect anything outta this post just screaming into the void. wish me luck in not dying or smthin cause i have no clue whats even causing this let alone if its something really bad or just something small

[vamossainz55]

Yeah, no doubt Charles gets his share of hate, in fact every driver does, more or less, I was just talking specifically about Carlos. I’d never fault Charles for what people do online, he’s not responsible for them. I do kinda wish ferrari would speak up and ask everyone to stop trying to create a rift between Charles and Carlos but that’s very unlikely to happen, in fact it might enrage people even more haha

It’s always, always the same type of people hating drivers, some of them even basically admit they find it fun to be mean which absolutely baffles me. To each their own I guess.

Carlos in his Mclaren era was a delight, that combination of his own decision to be more himself than he was before (like he said in some interview) and also being paired up with Lando who instantly connected with him worked really well. To me it seems like Carlos needs a much more lighthearted environment to thrive in it, and Ferrari are really far from that… like, being a Ferrari driver puts a certain label on you that you have to be more put together, since it’s a team with such history. Ferrari as a whole need to unclench, stop living off their past victories and truly move forward if they want to be the winning team again. Idk, that’s just how I see things, there’s too much focus on the past, on their legacy, and it’s hurting them more than helping

Anyway, the fact that Tifosi were totally behind Carlos from the moment the weekend started until the very end was really heartwarming ahhh I think the support from everyone was one of the factors why it all went so well for him because ngl, at times this year it seemed like he’d lost some confidence in himself. Hopefully I’m wrong or that it’s all resolved now if I’m not. If only the car was good enough to fight for wins 😭

I guess I’m in a rant mood as well haha, feel free to tell me to stop spamming you 🫶

waaah ! i hope you didnt take it any wrong way- didnt mean you specifically with the charles hate, its just something thats been a bit more conscious in my mind recently and i just wanted to let it out. but yeah, charles is the last person responsible of the hate ofc. i actually prefer ferrari saying nothing about it, i do think itll make matters worse and ultimately ferrari need to fix themselves first 😂.

but yes its usually the same type of people and sometimes its just so so embarrassing. like i get second hand embarrassment sometimes seeing some the things people post to hate on the driver, i just don’t understand how some of them can lack self awareness. ive also been blocked by some accounts on tumblr even though ive never said anything about their fav or interacted w them (infact i love their fav too) but maybe ita cause im a carlos account haha.

mclaren era was so so beautiful i miss it so dearly and i get saddened that he isnt there anymore but ultimately i do think ferrari was a good mood. even though it hurts and sucks ita good that carlos is outside of his comfort zone and that he needs to push his elbows out a little but i agree with all your points, ferrari does need to get off the highhorse theyre on (pun not intended 😂) and reflect as to why they arent performing and the type of environment they have. i do think theyre the team thats stuck in old ways, they need to innovate and think outside the box myb idk.

as for carlos this year and his confidence- i think last year really took a toll on him but hes much more confident in himself this year in terms of consistency. hes back to his old self and i think even though the car isnt performing as good hes still pushing the limits whilst being aware of when to stop. but if its the case where hes missing a bit of confidence still i really hope he finds it after monza. we all are really rooting for him. the car and where its at is a pity, but im hoping both charles and carlos just need this breather this season and in some miraculous way the car will catch up next year.

also do not apologize for the rant, i wrote a whole essay i think 😂. but im enjoying this so dont worry your little pretty head about it

[mlynar-nearl]

this is very long i am apologies

yes !!! i read ur essay (?) on mlynars grief too and i just think that youve got it down super neat (ive probably repeated this too many times) so like good job !!!

ah indeed i was the anon who asked abt his kit last time too (saw the art of him too btw its very pretty, very nice ur friend did an amazing job!) so do you think hed have a talent like aosta's in that he does extra (maybe % or maybe fixed) dmg to unblocked? or hes got like a skill thats like fartooth (global only target blocked but in his case its global only target unblocked?) i think either ways adding a different debuff to all of his skills would be fun ! do you think hed be rng based cc (like aak?) or like its specifically one debuff to each skill, those kinda stuff? honestly er this is a lot of questions you can selectively answer but i just think hes probably a neat wraith killer lol no more annoying unblocked assholes running around ehe but also on a separate note, do you think he has any special interactions with other operators (excl the ones from laterano) ? his hobbies etc (just go wild man, tell me wtv even his preferred breakfast or whether he hates grass or smth) also yes ty for the advice abt mandragora !! i only figured it out like... once i accidentally made her drop blocks on herself and she died due to low hp and i was like wtf cos ??? free elimination ? and i learnt i was very wrong later on but pozy saved my ass aha so it all worked out anyways ! just training for when i actually bother clearing ch 9 ig oh and until u said it i didnt rly notice that sss like... hates all snipers. (ive tried using chalter it didnt go well... pozy as well) like all the late stage sss stages just completely dont let you use snipers for anything other than like buffs (unless youre rosa ig might have chance) shit i screwed up this is even longer than last time im so sorry if this is uncomfortable to read :sob: if this is too uh ew to converse with i can chacha slide into ur dms (but give me time i am... well theres a reason im anon) but yeah anyways have a nice day so sorry for this length and as always u can selectively answer or ignore lol ! hope ur well !

don't worry about the length, i love answering questions! I will try and get to everything. thank you for the compliments ab my post i try (oh my god do i try) :]

i think his talents would involve extra damage + prio unblocked enemies + his source of crowd control. his CC would be strictly bind, not RNG like aak, because his arts are specifically grappling hook/rope shit. i think i've been theoretically calling this talent and arts type "tethering." in lore he mainly uses it for traversal, but there's no reason it wouldn't work on people, too, so i think it fits best as a crowd control bind. one of his skills would then just do a "talent trigger increase" as part of their functionality meaning extra bind chance. of course, how useful he would actually be as a concept depends on the numbers, which is the part i'm bad at, but still, fun to think about :]

for other operators, he would definitely get on well enough with some of the cooks among the RI operators, for one. his favorite flavor of sweet thing is cinnamon, and cinnamon is easy to incorporate into things, and he's smart enough to be polite to the people feeding his interests. he would also, i think, have interesting but awkward interactions with the iberians, because while he is not himself iberian, he has traveled extensively there and shares memories of the profound silence/aftermath thereof with Andoain. ultimately, i think he's polite to most everyone he runs into if he were to go to RI, but he's already rather closed off as a person and you have to open him up with a crowbar, so i don't know if anyone could be considered a friend of his. i don't even think fiammetta is really a friend of his (he would call it that, but that's far from correct), more that they have similar enough feelings on a specific topic that leads them to cooperate. i think even increasing trust with him still leaves a lot under the surface.

other shealtiel facts...he prefers cats to dogs but understands the appeal of both, but his favorite animals are birds. being a sniper, he sees a lot of them, and spends a lot of time in places birds nest. i imagine lateran schools have a class on religion similar to catholic school (where i have unfortunately been), and that was his favorite subject because his mother was a canonist and spent most of her time analyzing the scriptures and teachings of lateran. he's surprisingly flexible because of this- he actually idealogically overlaps with andoain more than he'd like to admit, he just hates the man's methods. and life choices. when he's on the road he survives off of breakfast bars and terran poptarts. he prefers chilly weather to heat, but hates heavy snow. he has a halfway decent singing voice but never uses it outside of when he's free enough to attend a lateran service. his plan for immediately after achieving his goal (killing andoain with fia) is to take a vacation somewhere cold-but-not-too-cold and isolated and not answer his messages for six to seven months. he's still on the fence about where, though. he would do that right now if he didn't have duties to fulfill. his favorite mixed drink is a gingerbread gin and tonic (g&t + baking spice infused amaretto.) his favorite non-alcoholic drink is cranberry juice. he's become partial to a dying brand of iberian cookies because andoain likes them and he's started buying them up ahead of him out of a petty sort of spite.

SSS really does hate snipers which sucks b/c i do love me a sniperknights. chalter doesn't fall off quite as bad as some because she's useful for bosses but it's still Bad. i still bring snipers for the aspd buffs, but most of them just arent gonna hold up too much. sad :( gj with mandra! she's annoying but at least in her actual boss levels that aren't TFN you get the automatic pillar destroyers. good luck on chapter 9 when you get there :]

[bitter-hibiscus]

hav a good sleep and good luck spending money !!!!!!!

okay okay i might have mentioned this to you before but because there's already the foot clam and then rise added the council of heads i think it would be rlly funny if all the different hidden city/yokai related 'factions' were named after different body parts especially the. the arms dealers. so like a lot of these gangs are joining together after the kraang left the hidden city a little bit shaken up theyre unifying they may even have the beginnings of stronger tech

so the hamatos are stretched pretty thin they're getting worn down on all sides and big mama js a very prominent antagonistic force on the day to day bc shes taken to having grunts film their fights with the various gangs to hold over her audience between nexus fights as rise in technology means alternate means of entertainment means less buisness for her. or something i actually hadn't thought of the details of big mama before typing this out but they confront her and she ends up injuring either raph or april haven't decided yet

tension is high around the lair bc no one has really had time to recover emotionally from the kraang and they're out fighting constantly (casey is actually p normal about it bc all he knows is fighting. casey needs therapy probably) so like they're all pissy they're all one bad day away from snapping

getting heavy inspo from the donnie betrayal arc from the idw comics my best friend the idw comics donnie thinks that forging an alliance with big mama is the only way they'll get the upper hand. leo is like violently against this because raph/aprils wounds are still fresh literally and figuratively and he absolutely does not want donnie giving his resources to whats in his eyes enemy #1. donnie disagrees and thinks that her influence in the hidden city and ability to find people and know when fights are happening would be really useful leo orders donnie to stand down (leader moment!!! so proud of him) but donnie refuses point blank. things escalate when donnie reveals hes already spoken to big mama and they've worked out a deal and it turns into a family wide argument

leos side is raph (im leaning toward raph for injury reciever i think. i just feel bad fridging him after the movie already did) april (april donnie fight!!! i also just dont think she would trust big mama) and like most of the 1-2 time appearance side characters. maybe casey sr too? but i could see her hoping mama can like get normaler because that's what she did. what are your thoughts on this

donnies side is mikey (who loves a redemption arc and wants to look out for donnie) casey jr (he probably knew mama in the future when there was literally no choice but to be allies) and draxum (dont get me wrong he HATES big mama but he agrees with donnie that shes useful to them + he likes mikey best) also todd. he gives them lemonade

splinter is probably more of a mediator than anything he would love for his ex almost fiance to decide to turn to good but he wants to trust the judgement of his eldest and the son he made leader so he stays with them and lets draxum watch donnie mikey and the gang

so donnie and mikey (+ co maybe) take up temporary residence in the hidden city probably in the battle nexus hotel. haven't decided if one of them has to fight in the nexus but it would be neat

they also 100% meet big mamas assistant who was very heavily implied in the show to be a turtle that was left in the lab and captured by big mama. it is venus she shows them secrets and shit and is like plot relevant and stuff

tagst mostly what ive got in my little brain so far im bad at wrapping things up so im not really sure how that would go yet. i do thibk its really funny that like half of donnies side are looking at big mama like omg i could fix her and he is telling them to shut the fuck up and draxum is solemnly nodding in the bg

OH HOLY SHIT I LOVE HTAT. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH

I think Cass/Casey Sr would be against Big Mama but only because one of the turtles would've told her about what she put them through and she'd be like AH! A WORTHY OPPONENT! BUT AN OPPONENT NONETHELESS!

[youryanderedaddy]

The First Shot Is A Warning

Tw: Authoritarian Regime AU, female reader, Activist!reader, non - con, dub - con, violence, blood, minor character death, possessive behavior, controlling behavior, imprisonment, objectification, political dystopia setting, mention of drugs, unrealistic potrayal of left - wing totalitarianism

chapter i, chapter ii, chapter iii, chapter iv, chapter v, chapter vi, chapter viii, chapter ix, chapter x, chapter xi

chapter vii

The moment had finally come after five days of your heart tugging and thumping wildly, trying to break out of its cage. You had waited, you had held your tongue and bided your time carefully, little by little. You had been forced to act sweet the whole time – but not too sweet – so the authoritarian would be too mesmerized to pry into your business by studying you apart like a war map, and still convinced you were being truthful, so you had to let the occasional sarcastic remark or bitter joke. Balance is the key, they say, and right now you couldn’t agree more.

The morning had been short, so short you couldn’t find anything useful to take with you (except for the electric toothbrush, and it hardly made a real weapon). You had woken up later than usual just to be met with an unusual, uncomfortable type of horror in your guts. Oscar had left some clothes on your bed, all of them smelt like fresh clean laundry, yet the stomach – wrecking reek of sterility never truly left the air. There weren’t any instructions on what to do with them, but the command was clear as water, despite non - verbal.

You slowly picked the garment up and soon recognized it as a dress, consisting of a white corset – like top with red embroidery and a vermilion skirt with a pair of long white socks. You took a deep breath and started dressing up, shaking as the tight material hugged your curves in all the wrong places. It felt perverse, cheap, a weak mockery of your true fashion sense, but in the first place, just like everything else around here, it was survival, so you shut your mind off, put on your favorite combat boots and calmed your breathing before sitting down and waiting for the general.

He came to pick you up at eleven, vestured in his well – fitted green uniform and that stupid karakul hat that you hated with a burning passion. The fact that the authoritarian looked handsome and strong at the same time stung even more, not only because it made betraying him more painful, but also because you knew it would create a pretty lie of an image, one of strength and national pride, in the minds of the citizens.

“Please behave.” The soldier ordered with a straight face, cold voice somewhat fading once his dark eyes fixed upon your frame. His sides felt warmer yet again, and he had to fight the urge to draw you closer, shower you in kisses and never let you leave his side. It was going to be fine, or at least that’s what he had to tell himself unless he wanted to go insane during the trip. “All of my superiors will be there, one wrong step and you’re dead.” Oscar warned you and lowered his head to peck you on the cheek, unable to pull away before your whole neck was covered in purple marks and bloody love bites. The sign of ownership wasn't truly necessary as everyone already knew you were off limits, but the man enjoyed seeing you marked up, each part of you belonging to him for all eternity. “I will protect you no matter what, so be good for me, beloved.” You squirmed at the affectionate term and tugged at the ends of your strained dress, searching for comfort. You found none.

The journey was short and no words were exchanged between the two of you, even the worried glances your captor would send your way from time to time died down once the party official stepped into the limousine with his bodyguards. After that it was just “Yes, Sir.”, “No, Sir.” and “I am sorry, I will try my best.” on repeat during the whole ride. And then you reached the center.

Oscar led you towards the museum with the red tiled roof and white plaster that needed a new layer of paint to look anything other than in ruins. The authoritarian held your hand tight, the grasp warm and sweaty, his posture confident and patronizing as he walked across the center and everyone rushed to make way like a bunch of ants at the sight of a human. You were surrounded by warriors and partisans, the screams of support and the heavy steps of thousand boots muffling even you darkest thoughts.

Still only once you reached the main auditorium on the first floor of the building did you manage to see just how massive the event truly was. All of the significant Party leaders had come and were now standing together in a circle, silent and serious as statues, the man you had seen before in the car even going as far as to glare at anyone who would dare speak during the first half an hour. Soon the lieutenant tapped you softly on the shoulder and signed to the stage as if signaling that he too was going, but not before sending you a short stern gaze, an unspoken threat. Under any other circumstance you would have rolled your eyes – it wasn’t like you could go anywhere with all the soldiers following your every move – but not today. Today was different, it was a new beginning. The authoritarian had an actual real reason to be paranoid now, but neither the time nor the space to act upon his deadly intuition, and you intended to use that oppurtunity to the fullest.

You weren’t here to play for cheap or to misbehave and try to draw attention to yourself as a weak paltry act of defiance. You couldn’t afford yet another failure, couldn’t live to be back in that tiny heated room with your hands above your head and the weight of your tormentor pressing over you stomach as you desperately tried to squirm against him like an insect caught under a heel. You couldn’t let him win, so you had to wait. You had to stay alert and trust that your only friend in these remains of a city would actually show up and save you from this raging madness.

“Come with me right now.” Someone’s deep rough voice broke the stone cold silence and you turned around only to be faced by yet another soldier. Her mouth was half covered by a black mask, no party symbols embodied on the surface, something that you found weird. Almost no one wore masks anymore since they were often associated with the rebels. Her eyes looked familiar and somewhat warm in the way the ocher color seemed to shine once it was hit by sunlight. You remembered with the sting of guilt just how many of the younger troopers were anarchists or syndicalists, leftists, purely mislead and cruelly deluded by Oscar’s propaganda. Maybe you had met before in another life - on some battlefield, fighting side by side as allies, and now you were simply a prisoner and a guard. And since you couldn’t disobey a direct order, you followed along.

Meanwhile your captor had joined his superiors on the podium, although he didn’t look as ecstatic as the others seemed to be. Quite on the contrary, the general seemed bored and tired, his monotone expression giving his annoyance away. As he prepared to turn his microphone on, his subordinate led a man to the stage, and he recognized him instantly. He was covered in harsh marks and bruises from head to toe, his arms were in shackles, and he already looked dead, barely hanging onto live. The man forgot how to breathe for a second.

“General Montery, please step aside and to the centre.” Sophia commanded, her voice low and bitter like coffee, it also burnt like one. The brunette moved forward, his feet moving on their own towards the Party premier, who was quick to hand him a long metal rifle with a wooden handle, and it felt heavier than any other weapon he had used before. “You know what to do. Don't dissapoint me.” The woman whispered in his ear for just a second, quiet and deadly, almost hissing with poisonous anticipation. Oscar gulped dry and aimed the gun at the man’s head, waiting for the right moment to shoot, once his heart stopped aching and his mind – screaming.

* * *

You weren't sure where you were going. The soldier had dragged you across the hall in absolutely silence, not saying a word. You had hoped someone would stop and ask the two of them were you were headed, which was the usual practice among all of the control freaks in the state army, but much to your surprise no one had batted an eye. Maybe they trusted each other enough to not ask any questions or the warriors simply didn’t care what was happening to some lowly rebel and whether they would make it out alive. Perhaps that was the plan all along, perhaps they hated the influence you had on their precious general and wished to make you disappear. And perhaps you were going to die just like that, away from the glamorous lights of the auditorium, like a dog, without even seeing your best friend one last time.

Fortunately, the train of black thoughts was cut short once you heard Sophia's voice echo through the ceiling, and you finally turned your head towards the stage. Your stomach dropped as your eyes glazed over the familiar face, your gut twisting violently as you watched Oscar step closer and closer to the innocent convict. Suddenly the premier started screaming, calling the man a class traitor, a threat to the regime, naming him as the leader of the rebels in the central Zone. Spilling hundreds of lies of crime and slaughter that had never been committed until the people started booing, shouting, repeating insults back, the words counter - revolutionary filling the air, each a tiny arrow to your heart. The authoritarian had monopolized you, made you play along; you were wearing his dress, his stupid scent on every part of your body, you could still feel his cold lips ghosting over your neck, and for what... The man had promised you, he had promised not to kill him, not to kill anyone, not to—

“Y/N!” The soldier shook you by the shoulders out of the blue, unable to stay and listen to you blabber and sob any longer. Your finally raised your head, waking up from your bitter stupor, lifeless eyes suddenly clearer than a moment ago. yet still wet and puffy - you hadn’t realized you had been crying until now. You weren’t sure just how much time had passed since you saw the cartridge fly and find its victim, but you managed to swiftly gather yourself and look around, curiosity mixed with fear filling in your gaze as you realized your weren’t in the main hall anymore. This seemed to be a corridor or a backroom – it was dark, filthy and the smell of incense was almost unbearable. “It’s me, Y/N. I came for you.” The woman standing next to you uttered gently, much gentler than before, reaching to take off her mask and her military cap to reveal the face underneath.

“Anna!?” You exclaimed and had to clamp your hand over your mouth to suppress the gasp. “But how? I thought—” You started off, but got interrupted by the other’s hushed whisper. “It’s a long story and I’m sure we will laugh about it over a joint once we get you out of here.” She hesitated for a moment, something unspoken at the tip of her tongue, but eventually reconsidered, pulled out a gun and passed it to you. “It’s for security. We’ll go through the west gates.” The woman paused, stroking her chin. “I wanted to use the back doors, but I’m sure they will be guarded. It’s full of fucking redcoats out there.” Anna cursed under her breath and took you by the hand. “We’re going back in. It’d be safer to just blend in with the soldiers.” She rationalized and you nodded – not because that route felt safer, but because you didn’t have a better plan, or any for that matter. It felt surreal to see your friend so confident and brave again, after all those months of oppression and fear.

Finally, finally the game was on.

[classpectingshitposts]

what i (mod li) hate about you: classpect edition

Light: you motherfuckers think you know so much huh. it doesnt even matter if youre insecure about yourself the fact remains that on a subconscious level you think you are smarter than any given person in a room and that pisses me off

Void: you also think youre smarter than the people around you, but in a mysterious, shifty way. that pisses me off

Time: you people are ALWAYS down to throw down. just fucking chill out alright just calm down. when im in the vicinity of another time player we have this little thing called a "race" where we both have to walk faster than the other or we die. as you can see im still here. there are bodies in my wake

Space: i want to strangle you people. youre so weirdly passive. if i want to go to a place you guys will be like yeah ok alright give me three hours NO motherfucker we are going NOW. you generally have plans. i dont. why do you do that.

Breath: every fucking thing. you goddamn airheads. if you befriend a breath player you can never be sure when youll talk to them again, because they never fucking check their messages. you apathetic bastards.

Blood: my own breath tendencies are in direct opposition to everything you people are. tradition? fuck you. community? NO bitch! the only time i like teamwork is when i am the leader of the team.

Mind: you think youre sly and clever and while youre right you have no right being that smug about it. now i understand being disconnected from your emotions but holy shit guys. you got something wrong with you

Heart: there are two types of heart players: the really emotional ones and the really emotional ones who pretend theyre not. i hate emotions. i think this one should be self explanatory

Doom: you EMO PIECES OF SHIT. i said space players are passive but you guys are on ANOTHER LEVEL. things will just happen to you guys and youll be like "ok cool." TAKE SOME GODDAMN INITIATIVE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. additionally ive never met a doom player that wasnt passive aggressive as fuck and oh. ohoho i hate that more than anything be direct ill kill you

Life: now this isnt universal but you people are way too chipper. youre like a fucked up combination of heart and breath players.

Rage: this is like the exact same as time players but the calm down is WAY more. youre so fucking emotionally charged all the time get ahold of yourself jesus CHRIST. maybe TALK about your feelings for once instead of growling at people

Hope: you guys think you cant die which on some level i understand because i too cannot die but the way you do it is INFURIATING. hope players are INFURIATING did you know that you just think you can do anything. your optimism is sickening

--

Mage: i dont know anything about you bitches youre so WEIRD like. the mage class is amazingly dependent on aspect so i cant even really do anything except vague curses. stop being so calm. go apeshit.

Seer: similar to light. i cannot stand you people. you think you know everything but you will not explain SHIT ever you just think you always know best because you got a good score on the sat. fuck you and fuck your sat and if you tell me what to do and what not to do because what i AM doing is "ill-advised" ill show you ill-advised and youll regret it

Sylph: STOP FUCKING DESTROYING SHIT. STOP IT. YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING. you cant cause problems and be like oh noooo i caused a problem i hate myself :( FUCKING FIX IT STOP MOPING. you people overdo EVERYTHING it is infuriating

Maid: get some self confidence. stop stuttering. if you tried believing in yourself one time youd accomplish shit but instead you just sit around wallowing in your insecurity

Bard: i dont hate you because you have trauma but i do hate you for the way you deal with it. learn to apologize

Prince: you bitches are a black hole of destruction. you think your problems are sooooo overwhelming that you drag everyone down with you. well guess what motherfucker? maybe if you stopped hyperfixating on hating yourself for two seconds and had a nice glass of milk youd start to get better

Thief: the fact that you are not me and dare to share a class with me. i am the only smug bastard allowed in the vicinity. if any others show up i take that as an immediate challenge and need to eliminate you

Rogue: i cant even do this one rogues are so goddamn different depending on aspect. like even more than mages. you are so so influenced

Knight: you think youre SERIOUS and COOL huh? you think no one knows anything about you? every single knight is deeper in denial than you could ever dream. you dont know shit and you dont act like they know shit but they sure act like something and they need to get it together

Page: most things. if we want to get specific, the insecurity, the hesitance to do things, the fact that you dont even pretend to have your shit together, the REFUSAL to improve until you experience DIRE CONSEQUENCES, the general idiocy, the list goes on. most things

Heir: ive thought about this one for a long time. i do not have any issues with heirs. like the only thing i mildly dislike about them is the fact that theyre a passive class

Witch: as much as i respect you, calm the fuck down alright

[anythingandeverything1d]

The Tape (Conclusion)

Life with Harry seemed to settle down. You focused on recovery, he focused on work. You both spent the evenings cuddled up in bed watching episodes of the Bachelor and you fell asleep to the pounding of his heart beat every night. Life with Harry was exactly the way it had been before the tape leaked. You laughed as he danced around the kitchen in the evenings while making dinner and swooned in the taste of his lips as he pushed your back into the counter waiting for the ding on the oven timer. You were happy, he was happy, but there was still something missing... something just didn't seem right. Harry was still slightly distant about parts of his day, where he was going, what he was doing, why he would leave the room for phone calls. You had originally talked it up as stress with tour planning, but it wasn't that. He was keeping secrets...and you didn't like that.

You were lounging on the couch in one of Harry's shirts, scrolling through Netflix and hoping to find something that captured your attention. "Hey love, I'm heading to the studio for a bit." Harry walked in, phone to his ear and eyebrows furrowed together.

"I thought you were done recording?" you questioned, sitting up to meet his eyes.

His gaze dropped to the floor before he turned towards the kitchen. "Yeah...I uh.. I have some final cuts to run through."

You jumped up to follow him, "I thought we were going to spend the day together? You know since you have been working so much lately?"

"Ahh, well yes we will but once I'm done with this one thing."

"Harry." You crossed your arms and stared into the green eyes you loved so much.

"I'm sorry babe. We will spend the rest of the day together when I get home and I have a surprise planned too." He winked before pulling the door to the garage open.

"What kind of surprise?" You questioned, following him out of the house.

"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?"

"Harry..." you whined, stomping your foot as if you were a toddler pouting about not getting a cookie before dinner.

Harry smiled, walked over and placed a warm kiss on your forehead, forcing you to meet his gaze with a gentle lift of the chin. "Now now love, don't be dramatic. You're going to love it. I think. I hope." He kissed your lips softly and smiled. "Now I'd love to stay and kiss you some more....but the later I leave, the later I return."

You kissed him and pulled him into a hug with a sigh. "Fine."

Harry chuckled and kissed you once more before climbing in the car. "I love you."

"I love you too." You watched as he pulled out of the driveway before sprinting back inside to where Harry kept his laptop. Something was going on and you wanted in on the action. Harry's laptop sprung to life as you anxiously tapped the space bar 100 times. You typed his password and clicked enter only to get the incorrect notification. You sighed. Why had he changed the password. You pulled out the desk drawers and sighed, there was nothing even remotely interesting in them. You looked through his planner and calendar and still nothing. You were out of luck. You leaned back in his office chair and spun around, chewing the bottom of your lip. There has to be something... You grabbed your phone and called the first person who came to mind. "Louis."

"Goodness love, what do you need now." Louis' voice called from the other end.

"What's Harry's laptop password?"

"Why do you need that?" Louis chuckled more interested in the conversation now.

"I uh...I need to do some work."

"What's wrong with yours?" Louis teased.

"Its broken." you lied.

"Sure it is." Louis laughed again and you knew he was rolling his eyes.

"Please Lou, what's the password?"

"Why do you think I know?"

"Because you know Harry. You know what hes doing and what he thinks about."

"Sorry girlie, but I dont have anything for ya."

"Ugh Louis...."

"What are you really trying to figure out?"

"Nothing...." you lied.

"Okay then I've got to go-"

"No wait. Fine." You sighed and leaned your head back. "I want to know what hes planning. Wheres hes at right now."

"You dont trust him?" Louis teased again.

"He's hiding something Louis. I know he is."

"Maybe. But still, that's not the way to find out."

"You know. You know what hes been up to."

"Now now love, no I don't."

"Louis."

"Ive got to go love, just be patient."

"Patient? What does that mean? Louis what-" The phone went dead and you groaned in frustration. Something was for sure going on. You contemplated your options. You could follow Harry. You could go confront Louis. You could try a couple more passwords before locking Harry out of his computer. None really pleased you though. Instead you called another lifeline.

The phone rang, and rang, and rang before the voice finally breathed a hello on the other end. "Liam!"

"(y/n)... what uh what can I do for you?"

"You mean I can't just call my friend?"

"No..well yeah, of course you can. But you normally don't so what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I need your help."

"Is something wrong?"

"Kind of...."

"I'll be there in 5." You smiled and jumped up from the chair.

"I love you Liam."

"Yeah, yeah. See you soon."

You ran downstairs and waited anxiously by the door until Liams car pulled in the driveway. You met him at the door with a smile and a big hug. "Thank you for coming!"

"So what's the problem? Are you okay? Is Harry okay?" Liam looked anxiously around.

"Yeah we are both okay."

Liam breathed a sigh of relief before turning his attention back to you. "Then what's the problem?"

"Well....." you dove into the story of Harry's behavior and the surprise, the change in his computer password, and your uncertain feeling about him hiding something.

"(y/n)...You know Harry loves you-"

"I know but with everything that happened I just feel like something is off." Liam bit his lip and looked away. "You know." you poked him in the chest. "you know what he's hiding."

"What? No I-"

"Liam Payne. Tell me now."

Liam sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Just trust me okay? Hes not hiding anything, I mean he is but its nothing bad." Liam turned back towards the car. "I have to go."

"LIAM!" you screamed. "What do you think youre doing?"

"Leaving."

"Seriously?"

"Trust him."

"I do trust him but-"

"No buts. Trust him and let it all play out. I can't be involved in this."

"That's what Louis told me." You crossed your arms and glared. "Youre supposed to be the good one."

Liam laughed and waved before climbing in the car. "Love you."

"Yeah yeah, love you too." You turned back to the house as he pulled away. Left with your endless thoughts and questions about everything.

You were sprawled out on the couch lost in thought when the door opened. "Hello?"

You sat up confused until Niall walked into view. "Niall?"

Niall smiled and ran to you for a hug, tackling you back to the couch. "Ive missed you." His arms closed around you and breathed in the cologne he always wore.

"What are you doing here?" You asked slightly confused.

"Well I just wanted to come and check in. We haven't really talked much lately. How are things with Harry?"

You dove into your explanation and watched Niall take it all in. He didn't seem to have as much info as the other boys. When you had finished explaining your feelings and concerns he smiled and shook his head with a small chuckle escaping his lips. "What?" you asked smiling and pushing his shoulder back. "Why are you laughing?"

"(y/n) Harry loves you more than anything else in this world. You shouldn't be worried."

"I'm not worried....I just feel like hes keeping something from me."

"He is."

"What?"

"Harry is keeping something from you." Niall repeated again, scrolling through the channels looking for golf.

"And you know that because?"

"I talk to him pretty frequently."

"So then what is it?"

"Oh I can't tell you."

Anger flared and you took the remote out of his hands. "Why not?"

"Because its not my thing to share. It's Harry's."

"Okay but-"

"Trust him."

"But-"

"(y/n) seriously its a good thing."

"Niall."

"(y/n)."

"Pleaseeeeeeeee" you grabbed his hands and gave your best sad face.

Niall smiled and tapped his finger to your nose. "I can't tell you. Harry would kill me." Niall stood up and laughed, and you would be really upset if I ruined the surprise.

"I would not."

"Yes you would." Niall grabbed his jacket.

"Where are you going?" you whined.

"I'm going home to watch golf and work on the new album. You have a date to get ready for anyways." You looked at the time on the tv. Niall was right, Harry would be home in an hour and you were still in the pjs you had worn the night before. "Let me know how it goes." Niall wrapped you in a hug and smiled softly, lost in another thought.

Once Niall had left you ran upstairs, jumping in a hot shower and pulling out outfits. You landed on a cute sundress, sandals, and left your hair down with gentle curls. You fixed your make up and smiled at the appearance in the mirror. You heard the door downstairs open and headed towards the stairs. "Harry?"

"Hey love." His deep voice called up. "Ready to go?" You met him in the kitchen, a gasp escaping your lips. Harry was in a suit, his hair slicked back, and a bouquet of roses in his hands. His shirt was unbuttoned, leaving the slightest view of the tattoos on his chest. Harry was biting his lip, looking you up and down with a smile. The blush in your cheeks got darker as he approached and placed a kiss on your nose. "You look stunning."

"Uh... you... thanks...I mean so do you." Sometimes you forgot the effects the boy had on you.

Harry laughed and tilted your chin up, his lips meeting yours. "Thank you my love."

Harry handed you the flowers and took your other hand pulling you towards the garage. "Where are we going?"

"Its a surprise."

"Really?"

"Really. Now come on." He opened the door for you and you climbed in, nervously twirling a piece of hair.

Harry smiled and leaned in for a kiss and you met his with a soft sigh. "Ready to tell me?" He just laughed and started driving.

After a decent drive, you arrived at a small park. It looked oddly familiar, but yet something was still a little different. Harry grinned, knowing you still weren't sure what was happening. He jumped out, opened the door, helped you out and smiled. "Know where we are?"

You looked around, a small pond down the trail catching your eyes. You nodded and grinned. "This is the park we went to that night. The night that you first told me you loved me." Harry nodded, pulling your hand and leading you down the path, away from the public and somewhere that seemed more remote. You laughed, thinking of the night. "I thought you were going to kill me that night."

"Kill you?" Harry scoffed, a laugh forming in his smile.

"It's not everyday a guy takes you into the woods, away from people, and out of reach of like anything."

"I like remote places. Theres only one thing to focus on when im there. You." He tapped your nose and you smiled. Harry placed his hands around your eyes and you grinned at the anticipation.

"I can't see."

"That's the point. Cant ruin the surprise quite yet." You walked a little farther and Harry stopped. "Okay love close your eyes."

"But I already can't see."

"Just do it." You closed your eyes and Harry removed his hands, stepping away. "Open them."

Your eyes fluttered open and your mouth dropped. Lights were strung throughout the trees leading to the creek. Harry was leaning nervously against the tree, the one where everything had began. The one that had a carved out heart with your initials. The one where he had pushed you back into and kissed you, telling you that you were his one and only love. You walked forward in awe, and Harry reached for your hand. You grabbed it and opened your mouth, "Haz..."

"(Y/n), you were my first real love, the person I wanted to spend forever with. You stood by me at my worst. You made me better. I know the past has been rocky, and I know theres a lot that we are still figuring out, but theres one thing that I know for sure will never change. You. You are the sunshine on a dark day. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. My rock, my cuddle bug, my best friend." Harry took a step back and nervously dropped to one knee, pulling out a box.

"What-"

"(Y/N) I want to marry you. Will you please be in my life forever and make me the happiest man? Please marry me love."

You nodded and Harry smiled but kept going. "I'm going to need an actual answer dear. (Y/n) be my forever. Will you please marry me?"

"Yes" you nodded through the tears. Harry smiled, slipped the ring on your finger and tackled you in the biggest bear hug. He spun you around, your back hitting the tree and his lips landing on yours. Your fingers tangled in the curls and his teeth lightly tugged on your lip.

"I want you." Harry growled, his fingers slipping into the shirt you were wearing.

"You already have me." You giggled.

"That's not what I meant." You could feel him growing in his pants.

"Take me." You whispered in his ear.

"Oh I will, Mrs. Styles." Harry tugged the shirt off and you laughed pushing him lightly away for a minute.

"Sure you dont want to record this as a sex tape?" You teased.

Harry rolled his eyes and tugged his clothes off. "Good one." He snorted pulling your body back to his. "I dont need a tape." He kissed you softly. "Im never going to lose this, forget this, or need anything else. The other guys would kill me anyways."

"Were they all in on this?"

"Oh yes. They are in the parking lot waiting with champagne."

"Harry!"

"Shhh....They can wait, I need you now."

----

Finally Done! What did you think?