#IDK whats wring with me :)
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literally it's 3am where i live and i'm on mobile but FUCK IT i haven't posted any actual writing in like a YEAR on this blog whose description include the words "I WRITE" and i can't tell if i'm even going anywhere with this so fuck it under the cut is the prospective absolute mess of the first chapter of the flipo family time loop fic. (for clarity, flipo family as in slime, mariana, and juanaflippa) this covers loop 0, aka the relevant parts of canon. words: 1630
parts of it i popped off with and other parts i hate; up to you to identify them. also the italics and other formatting got erased when i copy pasted and i'm re-adding all of it by hand so if i missed a spot, no i didn't. if i missed an accent on a letter in spanish that was a typo, if i missed a ¡ or ¿ that may have been on purpose.
oh and for obvious reasons, content warning for mentions and mild descriptions of child death and child murder. no blood, and most of it is a three word mention; i'd say the brief paragraph beginning "Tilín didn't scream" is most of the reason this warning exists.
Charlie Slimecicle stepped off the train.
He’d been hoping for a bright, sunny day to start their vacation, but was sorely disappointed. The portal had apparently taken them pretty far, since they’d gone from noon to night time. Talk about jetlag. They hadn’t even been on a plane.
“What happened to the other guys?” he wondered aloud as he stepped onto the platform.
“Yeah no clue,” Phil said, scanning the empty station. “Thought they’d meet us here.”
“Guys!” one of the Spanish speakers--Vegetta, he’d said, when they’d all met up at the first station--called, from a lectern at the wall. “There is a book!”
They crowded around as he read the instructions aloud--something about pressure plates, Slime wasn’t paying that close of attention. He was a little more preoccupied with making sure it only felt like his brain was dripping out of his ears. That would be kind of embarrassing.
Which was not to say that he wasn’t enjoying the constant onslaught of people talking over each other using words he may or may not understand. In fact, it was the opposite; he was frankly thriving in the absolute chaos that kicked back up around him as a timer appeared in the wrist communicators they’d been provided along with their tickets.
“Como se dice ‘we are going to die now’?” He giggled, chasing Phil and Fit to one end of the station.
“¡Vamos a morir!” shouted Spiderman, echoed seconds later by the black bear in the collared shirt.
Giddy over the high of attempting to use his high school foreign language for the first time maybe ever, Slime absolutely didn’t contribute much to solving the puzzle, and before long the sound of the timer ticking down was accompanied by a loud buzzing alarm.
“It’s been an honor!” he shrieked at the top of his lungs. “It’s been an honor!”
The bear ran past them again, shouting, “I’m going to die!” in English this time.
“Adiós amigos!” Slime yelled.
The countdown ended.
And then his communicator buzzed, and there was a video playing on the screen, showing a cartoonish yellow duck in front of a blurry beach stock photo. He skimmed it absently--some generic welcoming message and another side quest for them--distracted by Maximus audibly losing his shit laughing across the station.
“Come on, I’m trying to take a vacation, I gotta work now?” Fit complained. “This is ridiculous.”
Slime wanted to jump on that bit, but the message cut off with coordinates marred by static and the noise of the emergency weather alert system and he lost his train of thought completely.
“I got the English book!” Spreen called, holding it with two fingers like it had personally offended him.
“English leader,” Vegetta said, seeming to find that amusing.
“English leader.” Spreen laughed and flicked the book away. Slime stepped back but somehow it still nailed him in the chest.
“Guess I’m reading then,” he said cheerfully.
“In Spanish?” Maximus said.
“Um.”
Vegetta called something, backing across the plaza with the book open in his hands. Phil backed up to the wall.
“Here,” Phil instructed, “we’ll read it here.”
“Okay okay.” He flicked it open. “So we have to get water wheel planks--”
Their peace lasted a grand total of thirty seconds as voices suddenly began shouting, overlapping in chaotic chorus.
“What is that?” Fit demanded.
“Is that coming from the other side?” Phil stared up at the top of the wall.
“This is the thinnest thick wall I’ve ever seen,” Slime said, giddy laughter bubbling out of him again. “Is this thing made out of pencil shavings? If I sneeze on it, is there gonna be a hole?”
“Nevermind, we’ll read it over here.” Phil dragged them away again, but the Spanish speakers were dispersing into the trees.
“Forget the book,” Fit said, “follow them!”
(In the end it was explosives that took the wall down, which in hindsight was a precursor to how a not insignificant portion of time on the island was spent. The first day, however, it was just funny, much like everything else.)
(That was to say, the first first day.)
The communicator had indicated that today there was something special planned, so he made an extra effort to wake up.
“Morning Jaiden!” he called to his upstairs neighbor.
“Hi Charlie!” He could hear her farming through the wall. “Glad you woke up on time!”
“Well you know, you know, El Backflipo couldn’t miss it,” he joked, sifting through his backpack. “Got any spare food? I’ll trade you uno backflipo.”
“I have so much toast, come here and get some, free of charge.”
With a quick backflip and some toast to start the day, he popped open the map.
“There’s a lot of people down the wall,” he noted, their green dots so clustered they formed one. “Wanna check it out?”
“Yeah sure.” Jaiden tossed some seeds into a chest. “Do you know what this event’s gonna be?”
“I have no idea,” he admitted cheerfully.
She laughed. “Yeah, me neither. I guess there’s an egg involved, but that’s all I know.”
He dug around in his backpack for a paraglider, nodding along. “Yeah, yeah, un huevo, I get you.” Shuffling the landmine from Vegetta to one side, he yanked out his glider and threw himself out her window. “Let’s go!”
(nothing like getting struck by lightning to wake a guy up in the morning)
Slime fiddled with the communicator as he waited for the line of people to get through the ticket machine; he already had his own, a nice B for Backflipo. The new live translations still boggled his mind. He had to fight the urge to chant weird shit under his breath, just to see what the bubbles would say.
He paid a little extra attention when Mariana walked up to the machine. That guy seemed cool. They’d done that pequeño dormir together on day one, and he had a good sense of humor. Egg parenting would probably be funny.
He was thrilled to see the B for Backflipo on the ticket Mariana stepped away with, even if Mariana was decidedly less so. This was gonna be good.
(it was, and it wasn’t)
So, Mariana wasn’t exactly the coparent of dreams. Then again, Slime was pretty sure Mariana could say the same about him. In fact he was pretty sure Mariana had said the same, but in Spanish, when he wasn’t checking the translation.
It was great. They thought they’d killed a child immediately and then decided to fake their own child’s death to get away with it, and then confessed their sins to a bilingual angel and built a farm and then he buried himself beneath an improvised cross and went into a coma until his sins were forgiven, or something, except his sins weren’t forgiven in time to save his own child’s life.
And then Juanaflippa was dead. Dead at Mariana’s hand.
His bitch wife killed their daughter.
(Everything went faster, after that.)
Slime wanted to kill him.
Slime wanted to kill him for killing their fucking daughter, but of course, Mariana couldn’t even be bothered to be around to take care of her alive, never mind to pay for his crimes when she died by his hand!
(in a better world, his rage started and ended there. in a better world, the anger fizzled out with the lack of a target.
this was not that world)
There couldn’t be an Egg Event with no eggs.
If he killed them all, it would bring her back.
(in a worse world, he succeeded. in a worse world, the Egg Event ended there.
this was not that world)
They held a trial.
If he won, it would bring her back.
(in another world, he didn’t convince them. in another world, they left his daughter in Hell.
this was not that world)
Tilín was still before she hit the ground.
Tilín didn’t scream. Maybe they didn’t have time. It happened so fast. He was sure it happened fast. Almost too fast. But everything went so fast, now, even though Flippa was back. Yet, time slowed down for this, like a rubberneck driving past a highway accident, watching him desperately trying to shock their heart back into motion.
“YOU KILL MY BEST FRIENDS,” Flippa wrote. He begged her to understand. She wrote, “i can’t believe it.”
She wrote, “I HATE YOU.”
(in a better world, the error would have been caught in April instead of July.
this was not that world)
His daughter fell to his bitch wife’s sword. The same way. The next day.
They’d only just gotten her back. And Mariana killed her again.
He only left eggxile for the funeral. She wouldn’t stay dead, but he had to be there.
Time went even faster after that. He was Gegg, or maybe Gegg was him, or maybe Gegg was Gegg, or maybe. . . ?
He went back to eggxile.
He wasn’t leaving without them. Tilín. Juanaflippa. He would do whatever was necessary. He would pray to any higher power. Lil J still owed him a goddamn favor, but the guy wouldn’t pick up his calls. Maybe if he put more shit in the shrine; angels liked shiny shit, didn’t they? He went back to the mine, where the gasses swirled in his head. He built the shrine. He mined. He built the shrine.
He went back to the mine.
He went back to the mine.
He went back to the mine.
“This is where I sit, this is where my bitch wife sits, and this is where my daughter sits, if I had one!”
He’d said that before. No he hadn’t. Yes he had.
No, he just needed to clear his head.
Charlie Slimecicle went back to the mine.
Charlie Slimecicle stepped off the train.
#qsmp#qsmp fanfiction#qsmp slimecicle#qsmp juanaflippa#won't tag his partner since he didn't get to star much in this part#this idea is at its core a flipo FAMILY fic though it starts out with slime#just. the problem is getting to that point. bc beyond these words i have like 500 more lmao#for anyone curious for directors commentary in the tags:#pequeño dormir' is on purpose; i figured that would be a mistake slime would make at day 14 on the island#i also omitted the ¿ and ¡ from slime's spanish dialogue for the same reason; it's as close to an actual accent as i can get in text#(accent as in accented speech not accented letter; speaking spanish with an american accent)#slime's quote at the end about where people sit is taken verbatim from one of his streams#at time of posting it is available on his vods channel titled 'we won the war. (qsmp)'#a lot of the day 1 dialogue and flippa's dialogue from tilín's death is also verbatim#oh and the sequence from the 'we won the war' vod carries a lot of weight in the idea (wasn't the spark but it filled some gaps)#for me the cave gases are what drives every loop; time rolls back whenever slime inhales too much gas and 'forgets'#i don't have exact mechanics about it but suffice it to say if ANYONE were to spend too much time in this random ass cave#they would also loop back in time; slime's just the one who in this timeline Happened to discover it#shut up vic#block game brainrot#yea idk i just liked some of the dialogue tbh i think this gets super messy after they get flippa and then brings it back around at the mine#it's got some messy pacing in that middle bit but the foundation of a time loop story is its loop 0#that's what every loop after it has to call back to; that's the beauty of a time loop story#how is this different from loop 0; how is it the same#we've come so far only to get nowhere at all yknow#i'm a fan of stories rhyming but ESPECIALLY time loops so this is the setup for a lot of that#dude i gotta send this i've been sitting on parts of this draft for a year#may someone besides me read these words 🙏 thank you and goodnight#if people say nice things maybe i'll finally wring more words out of my brain. idk.#long tags
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Drive by bit of trivia that I think fits into your Hunger AU - Evo!Grian (pre-Watcher) was neutral in the big dispute on the server, iirc (Mafia vs Property Police) but HC!Grian (post-Watcher) ends up getting a rep for starting wars. Also, don't know if you know about Demise in HC s6, but it was kind of a precursor to the Life SMP, so you could probably use that in your fic if you want? Maybe as Grian's first "oh hey suffering tastes good" moment or something? Only if you think it fits, though.
OHHHHHH I AM GAZING AT THIS TRIVIA!!! yeah ive never watched Evo so the extent of my knowledge is what i can find on the wiki and extrapolate from other people's posts on tumblr 😂😂😂😂 so im always happy to receive tidbits about it!!!
Also 👁️ oooooh ive heard about Demise a little bit but nothing more than the name and that i think it involved collecting heads or smth??? But i could totally see that being the seed planted for the future life games-- i imagine stuff like that would be almost like LARPing in a sense, due to Player death mostly being an inconvenience, but the fear and exhilaration of being hunted down would have been so tasty. It would make sense for that to stick in Grian's brain, and give him a lowkey guiding point when scrambling to make the life series!!!
#grian#watcher grian#evo watchers#hunger au#hermitcraft#shouting speaks#grian was with the watchers for several years before he escaped so he'd already been shown the ropes of feeding#so it wouldnt be his first time finding out suffering tastes good-- but gods demise would be SO cool as a subliminal realization for him#like. its in his brain now. and yes there was fear but it was still a *game* and they were having fun....#but of course when youre on the brink of dying via starvation your first thought isnt going to be about fun#its gonna be about what you can wring out to survive#and thus the life games are born#smth smth idk this might only make sense to me#THANK U FOR DRIVEBY TIDBITS I APPRECIATE THEM VERY MUCH!!!!!#txt
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if i had a nickel for every supermassive character named chris h known for making corny jokes, having questionable social skills, and possessing the innate ability to completely ruin a monster hunter's night without even trying, i'd have two nickels
and that isn't a lot, but it does make writing scenes where both of them are in the same room pretty complicated
#queenie rambles about supermassive#i dont know if this thing's ever gonna see the light of day but let me tell you#the 'whos on first' bullshit going on with these two is...ENDLESS.#aw shit right one of you's chris too. uhhh. what's your last name? hartley??? HARTLEY?! how are we BOTH chris h...fuck this im older#i'm chris you can be.....idk the other chris. done.#the REAL reason the blackwood kids are only showing up as video files in like wringing blood from a stone
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it's actually so weird that people are treating palia like a fully released game,,, like obviously there are complaints about bugs and stuff but i saw someone complain about there being no real endgame and it's like,, yeah.. because it's still in beta... they haven't added it yet... hello?
#the whole point of an open beta game is players get to play a free game and devs get people to test their game for free#like. its a transaction akjdhg#testing it is actually the point! thats what we're here for!!#and i get that bugs can be frustrating but again the whole point is that the game is Not ready to be released#and that it needs people to Test it so it Can be released#like...#the entitlement is so embarrassing#i keep seeing people complain about the clothing too and like yeah i get it its expensive and i def cant get anything#but also the game has only been in open beta for a couple months ajdhg#people are acting like the devs have been wringing us out for years#its been like two months algdkh it's okay if the first cosmetics are paid#idk man... i wanted to join the discord but with all the ranting i keep seeing im glad i havent#it makes me happy that on tumblr things are chiller at least
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The fact that cigarette companies exist is fucking dystopian and a sign of the failure of capitalism as an ideology- cigarettes are a product that undeniably caused a bunch of different cancers, we've all seen the tobacco death stats on the back of cig cartons smokers have, and yet. And yet, for some reason instead of saying "zero businesses should be selling cancer causing products to their customers, certainly not when those cancer causing products are so dangerous even the smoke of the product causes cancers in the people around smokers. Businesses have zero right to cause a massive health crisis in the population like this when their only function is to make money- you cannot give people cancer for profit."
Like you'd assume giving people cancer for money would be some kind of fucked dystopian novel that'd get ripped on for being way too over the top and unrealistic but no, we literally live in such a morally bankrupt capitalist brain rotted society that we think selling cancer is fine, we won't do anything about a set of companies that exist solely to get customers addicted to their highly dangerous product for profit. Instead we'll act like it's smokers who need to take responsibility for the industry that's exploiting them. Fucking disgusting if you ask me, that we're more okay with companies giving people cancer than we are with governments giving people welfare.
#winters ramblings#my parents have been smokers for as far back as i remember#id really like to livht some ceos on fire for putting all these people at risk OF CANCER and like 72 billion kinds#so they can make MONEY. what kind of morally vacuous black hole of a person thinks thats acceptable??#and they LOBBIED to hide any effects of smoking second hand effects included. fucking HORRIFYING#the fact that businesses do this a LOT- like bp shell and exxon all covering up climate change to make more money??#capitalism is a failure because people will kill each other or even THE ONLY VIABLE PLANET TO LIVE ON IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM#just to make money. like you can tell me about how horrible other economic systems are all fucking day#and frankly id be inclined to ahree with you on plenty. but capitalism is not a viable choice either#when THIS is the result. selling health crises to the population and killing the planet. name me another economic system thats done THAT#ill fucking wait because capitalism is it. embarrassing that people will defend this system#even more embarrassing that we hand wring over fst people being an epidemic to the point of systemic oppression#because THEY need to take responsibility for the health crisis they allegedly cause despite reporting going to the drs FAR less#than thin people so idk how theyre astrain on health care especially in the us where people literally die before going to emerg but ok#THEY need to be responsible for THEIR health crisis despite losing weight long term being NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE#but tobacco companies can sell cancer to the point if being a WAY MORE SOLVABLE HEALTH CRISIS#but we cant do anything because being disgustingly cruel and punative to individuals is fine but oh dear LORD#how could we EVER treat businesses with more impunity than individuals because they cause INFINITY MORE DAMAGE??#we couldn't POSSIBLY treat a structure of institutional power like it actually HAS power thatd break the illusion its all CONSUMERS faults
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Something I've noticed, but: yuri manga don't last very long, do they?
#the disappoint i felt when i realized that#most of the works i've come across are only. like. 3-4 volumes long#and 9 out of 10 times they're the obligatory high school/college/OL modern settings#not really that many that add a dash of fantasy or supernatural element to them#i mean there's murcielago but it's not something that would interest me#and AFAIK the executioner and her way of life is still ongoing but i can't for the life of me remember if it has a manga#i'm actually curious as to why most of these manga are so short#b/c idk if it's an intentional decision or an editorial thing or what#altho TBF idk how much story you can wring out of a manga/LN/whatever that's set in the modern day#and HAS little to no magical realism element to push it along#you don't want to drag it out & hard reset it like RAG but you don't want it to overstay its welcome#idk i had sleep anxiety last night and went skimming for works and saw how LOW the chapter counts are#idk maybe i'm just being fussy#but i think what i really want is a long-running yuri series that doesn't get axed#or fucked with by the suits even after crossing the finish line b/c 'this isn't canon it's oPeN tO iNteRprEtATiOn LOL'#yuri
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#idk idk idk#what the fuck do people want us to do lmao#'americans are spineless'#youre asking us to stage some kind of glorious revolution so we wind up with no president next year#shit doesnt work like that#they wring their hands and whinge and whine about how bad it makes them feel to vote blue#as though theres any other choice#i cant start a political revolution#i mean fuck if one kicked off my ass would be out there but i dont know what to do to start that#and barring a revolution theres only two outcomes#im sorry it makes you feel bad in your wittle heart but i remember what the last trump presidency was like and this one would only be worse#i dont like voting blue either#the unfortunate reality is that the situation in Palestine will not be resolved by this election#its so so important and i understand that but sometimes the reality of the world doesnt make you feel warm and fuzzy inside#sometimes you have to do things you dont like to keep something worse from happening#i understand american elections affect the world i get the frustration people have#but when british people come in here calling us spineless for voting blue it pisses me off#its Trump a Dem or a Revolution#id prefer a revolution#but i cant count on it#that doesnt make me spineless#and people act like you cant vote and go out orgazing and protesting and shit#its not an either or#begging people to stop telling trans americans to be complicit in allowing a party that wants us dead to dominate our government
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#august/ july (just winter in general i think) always serves as a check in point.#bc i get DepressedTM and feel spirally bc bithday n jus . august is Rough no matter what#werein JULY and im already suffering. its coming w hands this year#anyway off topic: i am not happy lol#like#idk how to explain it. but my job is not what id like to be doing. i like certain aspects of it. but its taking such a toll on me in so man#ways i just . i dont think this is for me. i am a nighttime person but not like this#so im gonna. see if i can jump ship to a restaurant / cocktail bar here#n if not. booking it to melbourne.#not an ideal trip . will be 48hrs of travel bc . i need breaks. but . fuck brisbane#n fuck sydney (expensive)#brisbanes alright but . i dont wanna live there? i only wanted to bc it was Close n Easy ig#but anyway. reread the sick messages exchanged 2wks ago n winced at my responses but also. no wonder#im replying like that ??? hes so fuckig irritating to talk to now. likw bruhh. anyway i was dealthy ill and dealing w that.#i did fucking WELL handling his loser ass actually.#the lack of reply after i explicitly and graphically called him out on his shitty behaviour towards me like#fuck you fr dawg. you rlly cant take accountability ?#god i wanna wring his neck#its funny that i dont even know if im allowed to . send him the paragraph brewing inmy notes#n the thing is#it wouldnt matter . im not sending i to get a response from him. but i have Thoughts and have to deal with him CONSTANTLY. SO i wanna.#yell at him a lil im ngl. and then just block him for good bc fuck you for good.#dipshit.
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“Shoot me like a lame horse”
“put me down like a rabid dog”
I need more of these I swear they’re my favorite thing ever. All I can think of is “flush me down the toilet like a dead goldfish” but that one doesn’t fit the vibe and also the fish is already dead so who even cares.
#Wring my neck like a turkey at [insert holiday idk]#String me up on meat hooks like a#Yknow what I’m tired and this is maybe awfull#tw animal death
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i wake up and i immediately think abt how awful i am and how much i want to drive off a road and get into a fatal car accident
#everyone i know claims to be my friend or claims to be there for me but its not true#no one actually wants someone when theyre going throigh a shit ton of change#no one wants to be around me. not qhen im so streased out tht im losing weight and hair#my skin is breaking out evetywhere and im having a hard time eating anything more than coffee#and the caffeine dsnt help thts for sure#and im terrible at my new job it makes me overstimulated and exhausts my body even more#than it already is after moving houses#which btw. still hvnt moved the geckos or plants bc idk wgen i'll have time or energy#im fucking done and the world is dying and genocides are still occuring and here i am.#im fucking complaining abt being alive when so many ppl wld love to have what i have. why cant i be happy#why cant i let myself be happy. qhat is wring with me.#i am going to kill myaelf. i am going to drive until i hit a car or tree or something#i am going to do it. i swear tk fucking god.#dl
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i cant fet myself to do anything
#kitty talks#i wish i didnt care this much. i’ve just been really lonely and feeling bad. i get like this every once in a while. and i just kind of want+#my transition out of this cesshole to go smoothly. like it was. i thought it was. i hung out with them earlier this week. i thiught it was +#nice. idk. like. i know i could ask but it feels fucking stupid. like we’ve agreed before that i am included always. like im their friend#but like. i guess not actually. like. it just feels slightly inconsiderate and makes me feel very insecure#100% wouldve been invited if i wasnt feeling so bad. like id be the first to know. but alas. if ur sad for a while kitty and ur starting to+#feel better but slowly we will just not give u any other chances to feel better faster. just get out of this depression hole ur in first +#and THEn u can have the privilege of human connection and having fun. ur scum and u should kill yeself tho lowkey.#what is wring with me and what is wrong with them and what is foing on and i need to stop thinking so much and fucking showrr and eat food#i am so behind on everything and the only thing i want to catch up on is connections but its always at the stake of my well being#need to stop wanting to be with ppl and feel good. need to just clean my damn apartment and forget everything else#i hate how useless i am
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WELL anticommunist socdem lady fired me from helping her around the house, because I was 20 minutes late this morning, which apparently violated some severe boundaries she never stated she had, which has me fucked up because she's been extremely confusing-- she chats with me like we're friends, but she paid me by the hour thus making it a business arrangement, but literally yesterday she was talking about going on a future roadtrip together???? Which is not the way you talk to someone who you'll kick to the curb for needing to run for gas before heading to your house for a day of errands imo 🤷♂️ And now because it took more than 5 days to adjust my sleep schedule (largely bc this arrangement has had me very stressed & made it harder to fall asleep) to be IMMEDIATELY on time for what has previously been more hours of emotional gab seshes about her personal life than actual labor (& most of the labor is small stuff that could wait a month until she's off crutches but I do with a smile anyway BECAUSE I AM TRYING TO BE NICE TO THE VERY LONELY OLD WOMAN), she's done with me....
this is why I work with animals, there is no shitty social/emotional (bc even though she is dumb about many things I care about her and i did indeed let her down and I feel extremely bad about it) whiplash of being a paid servant and friend at the same time and having every social interaction be a riddle that I finally lost a round of and the consequences being literally the neurodivergent nightmare of You Lost The Interaction and Are A Bad Person. Feels super great 🙃
Man, moral of the story that will likely not surprise anyone: older liberals who talk a big game about being easy going, water-of-a-ducks-back type "hippie" types are the teensiest bit of power over someone away from seeing those people as disposable the moment they're human, just another shitty Walmart manager with better clothes....
#old fucks who treat timeliness as the biggest marker of respect or whatever like its 1970 yet claim to be hip and easy going...#i have actual time blindness (but based on some comments idk if she thinks adhd is real) and cant sleep because YOUR ASS is stressing me out#she said she hopes we can 'work it out' but idk what that means. i want to keep helping her but i dont think i want to work out our paid ar#arrangement. SHE is violating my boundaries by treating me as handyman and confidant simultaneously#at least im confident our disagreements about israel or communism weren't the cause. she would have fired me yesterday instead then lol#or maybe she watched a new yt history documentary last night and decided i was a fascist and the lateness was the straw#which honestly is more troubling: if she thinks im an antisemite but was cool with it as long as i was on time? uh????#but yeah nah i think she's just cranky and lonely and rife with her own mental health struggles and while i wont downplay my failings i also#will not wring myself to death over it (thats what tumblr ranting is for) and I'll give her space and look forward to my next dog job 🐶❤
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jesus fucking christ learning anything about american healthcare makes me so sad and angry. what a fundamental failure to provide a vital service to a populace.
#i was reading some webcomic where a plot point is about his health insurance doesn’t get transferred when he moved or smth#so he has to pay out of pocket for insulin and prozac#and like off-brand prozac. fluoxetine#or do you have to pay out of pocket even if you do have insurance? idk#anyway he couldn’t afford both so he had to skip the prozac#which is a fucking awful choice to have to make#and like goddamn. that’s a choice you have to make? on the monthly? you have to choose between affording rent and food or not dying?#canadian healthcare is not a utopia either. it’s very very significantly better but it still sucks and will fuck you over#ontario in particular tbh#ohip covers what’s ‘medically necessary’ but medical necessity is something they can fudge#fuck you if you want dental or optometry. go through hell if you want therapy#fuck you if you want certain medications. fuck you if they’re rare or new or ontario just hates what’s wrong with you#fuck you if you’re older than 24. fuck you if you don’t have private insurance from a fancy job#like point being ontario health insurance also makes me angry. it is purposefully difficult to navigate#and large portions of it still wanna wring you dry for committing the sin of not wanting to be in pain#but it must be fucking awful having to worry about not being able to afford not dying#to be bleeding out on the pavement literally or metaphorically and not be able to afford the ambulance#the state of healthcare is fucking horrifying and it makes me so so sad and angry
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It's always Grumpy! Regulus who is soft just for reader, but what about about Sunshine!reader who is grumpy just for him 🥺
I broke one of my cardinal rules for this fic; I made the reader *pauses for dramatic affect*.... a Lupin ✊😔 this was such a cute idea though hahaha I love sunshine reader trying so hard to be a grump [also struggling a litttttllllleeeee bit with some writers block so please let me know if anything feels awkward - idk how to feel about my writing right now!]
Regulus Black x Lupin!reader who is the sunshine to his clouds [922 words]
p1 // p2
CW: talking about wringing someone's neck out, siblings
Remus was interrupted from his reading by his boyfriend psst-ing across a few tables in an attempt to garner your attention.
“Hey! Trouble!” He whisper-shouted, causing you to look up with an arched eyebrow, though you still had your ever present smile adorning your face.
“Blink twice if you need help, okay?” Sirius continued, earning him a good natured roll of your eyes.
“I’m fine, Pads; there’s no need to worry.” You responded at regular volume, causing Sirius to look around suspiciously as if he didn’t trust the very few patrons of this section of the library - none of which were paying the three of you any mind - with this information.
“Listen, I love my brother as much as the next person, but- I mean, really? A Black? Surely you can do better.” Sirius informed you solemnly.
“Sirius…are you saying that my brother can do better, too?”
Sirius nodded quickly, apparently happy that you were finally getting it. “Yes! That’s why I sunk my claws into him early, he can’t escape me now; we basically live together and share all of our friends.”
Remus lowered his book to give his boyfriend a sideways glance, whilst you just continued beaming at him.
Though he didn’t necessarily approve of the way Sirius was going about his questioning, Remus couldn’t help but sort of agree with Sirius. Not that you could do better, per se, but that the pairing of you - the youngest Lupin - and Regulus - the youngest Black - made absolutely no sense.
Remus was happy for you, both of you, really! He wasn’t the kind of older brother that was rearing to fight any and all of your potential suitors; he wanted you to be happy, and if it was Regulus Black who made you happy, then he was more than happy for it.
But that didn’t mean he understood it.
Were he and Sirius quite different from one another? Sure.
Where Sirius was all hard edges and brashness, Remus was careful and exuded gentleness. Where Sirius was black clothes and flashy smiles, Remus was oversized jumpers and quiet remarks. Where Sirius was collected and suave, Remus was awkward and understated.
But for all that was completely opposite between the two of them, they had nearly just as much in common.
They both loved the same kind of music, they both loved pranking, they both loved a good house party, and they both loved their younger siblings.
But one would be hard pressed to find any similarity between the two of you.
Regulus was all quiet stoicism with a moody persona, while you were eager and effervescent. Regulus was snide and, well, kind of rude, while you were generous and compassionate. Regulus was gloomy, while you were all sun.
Remus wasn’t sure you even had a negative bone in your body; you’d been disturbingly sweet growing up (as a big brother, he was always looking for reasons to despise you only to come up empty) and he couldn’t imagine how someone as bitter as Regulus could find his way in your orbit, nor you into his.
Yet with this, Regulus came hustling into the library muttering something under his breath as he let his bag fall to the table with a loud thunk.
Sirius and Remus shared a concerned and slightly uneasy look, while you seemed to sit up impossibly straighter; Remus was certain that if you were a dog that your tail would be wagging.
“He is such a git.” Regulus hissed as his arse finally hit the seat, and your mouth opened comically as you leaned over the table as if vying for a secret.
“Who!?” You asked earnestly, your warm eyes searching Regulus’ cool ones for any clues.
“Sodding McLaggen! Thinks he’s Merlin’s gift to the entire wizarding world or something.”
“Bastard.” You muttered in camaraderie, and both Remus and Sirius reared their heads back at the use of such language coming from their kind and sweet little sister (and sister-in-law, as Sirius already calls you).
“I could’ve wrung his neck out, I swear.” Regulus continued as he pulled his books out of his bag and you quickly made room on your table for him to spread his homework out too.
“What was stopping you?” You asked him, and Remus and Sirius both looked at each other with furrowed brows as if saying “are you hearing this!?”
“I didn’t think you’d be particularly happy should I miss our study date in order to attend detention with the likes of Potter.” He muttered, ensuring the sneer James’ surname as if it were a dirty word.
Your eyes flit over to Remus and Sirius and they could see the laughter in them as you tried to keep your lips in their dutiful downturned-ness.
“Well, it would have been a noble reason I suppose.”
Regulus made a sound somewhere between a hum of acknowledgement and a groan as he ran a hand through his hair.
“Don’t worry, Reg; I’m sure McLaggen will be a wanker again tomorrow. You can wring his neck out then.” You assured him whilst looking down at your book, but as you lifted your hand to turn a page, Regulus’ hand quickly enveloped yours and brought it to his lips.
“Je t’aime, mon étoile.” He murmured into your knuckles, and your grumpy persona was gone so quickly that Remus wondered if it was ever there to begin with, and you were left instead with a (far more natural) beaming smile.
Sirius made a theatrical gagging sound, but Remus couldn’t help but smile; perhaps the two of you made more sense than he thought.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#regulus black#regulus black x reader#regulus black x you#sirius and regulus#Lupin!reader#regulus black blurb#regulus black drabble#regulus black imagine#regulus black fic#regulus black ficlet#regulus black x fem!reader#fem!reader#grumpy x sunshine#grumpy/sunshine#grumpy sunshine trope#ellecdc fics
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okay i genuinely love traveling alone bc it means i can do shit like spend my entire vacation eating food i want, meandering into shops and shrines at my leisure, sitting in parks and reading, and doing karaoke every night for an entire week. like. if i was with someone i would feel far more pressure to do a bunch of touristy stuff and “make an experience” or w/e (and tbf i do kind of feel like that for this trip since several people were like “show me pictures when you get back!” not knowing i am The Worst at vacation pictures since i dont do selfies and i take pictures purely to appease Myself) but it’s also like... this is my vacation. i’m here on my own. so yeah, i am going to take a siesta in the middle of the day in my hotel, i am going to do two hours of karaoke, i am going to go visit the shrine i love and just wander around. and bc i’m alone, i dont have to justify that to anyone or accommodate anyone else’s desires and frankly it’s the best feeling in the world. everyone should travel internationally by themselves at least once if they have the money/time bc then maybe less people would double take or act like i murdered a kitten when i tell them i prefer it.
#liveblogging life#everyone when i told them i was going back to japan: you're traveling BY YOURSELF??????????#me: yes. i often do.#them: BY YOURSELF????? YOU DONT HAVE FRIENDS THERE?????? WHAT????#idk why it's so shocking but i usually travel alone & it always shocks people#and then they like... try to talk me out of it??? or get relieved when i tell them i will meet up with people#idk what to tell you but honestly more people could stand to try being alone sometimes#anyway all this 2 say that i booked a reservation to do 2 hours of karaoke tonight and im jazzed#and today i a) ate some great french toast b) wandered around the imperial castle grounds and read my book#c) got rained on lol#d) ran into a high school marching band?????#e) karaoke and f) okonomiyaki for dinner#that's it!!! that's my day!!!! and to be frank it was better than yesterday where i was running around all day#trying to see The Sights and take pictures before i left tokyo for good#i have a blister from it :((((#learned my lesson i will no longer care about having Good Trip Pictures and will instead focus on wringing enjoyment#from every last second of my time in japan
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tell me you don't want me
gojo satoru x reader summary: gojo adds falling in love with his dead best friend's little sister to the list of things that keep him up at night w/c: 1.8k tags/warnings: angst to fluff. gojo takes care of reader when they have a migraine. they watch shark week together, so shark haters beware. arguing, but nothing super harsh. protective!gojo. reader is referred to as a sister but there are no pronouns. gojo is around 27, reader 23. curse words. no out right smut, but a heavily suggestive ending so lets say 18+ a/n: i've been writing purely fluff for gojo, so it seems about time to return to my angst/fluff roots. today's epi made me had me feeling some type of way. may write a part two to this? idk lemme know what you think! masterlist check out my latest work for gojo here
after you arrived at jujutsu high as a first year, everyone wore the same expression when they looked at you, their eyes full of pity and apprehension. you really couldn't blame them though. after what happened with suguru, you were left a shell of yourself, paranoid that you were destined to the same fate as your older brother.
however, the boy that suguru called his best friend held something different in his gaze whenever his eyes fell on you. understanding, maybe? gojo knew that if there was anyone in the world who missed suguru as much as he did, it had to be you.
for most of the year, the two of you really only talked in passing, dancing around a discussion neither of you were brave enough to initiate. then your brother's birthday rolled around and you found yourself drenched in rain, sneaking into the boys' dormitory to knock on gojo satoru's door.
he wasn't surprised to find you standing there.
"that idiot always refused to let me celebrate his birthday," you blurted out, damp hair sticking to your forehead.
he laughed. it was just a breath, but it was still genuine. "right? he couldn't stand being fussed over for one day."
and as you both stood there, rain pattering against the window, you felt months of unspoken tension melt away. "well, come in. i bought cake."
after that day, gojo took on the roll of your older brother and he really leaned into it. flicking your forehead to annoy you, threatening anyone he thought had a crush on you, giving you advice whenever he deemed you needed it.
you weren't sure if he was aware, even after all these years, that he'd saved you— pulled you away from the brink. you became like the little sister he never had, while he tried his best to fill the hole suguru had left in your heart.
gojo spends more time in your apartment than his own, so it's no surprise when he barges in one afternoon, singing out your name (rather terribly, one might add).
"i have a migraine, 'toru," you groan from the couch, pulling the blanket up over your head as the bright light from behind his figure worsens your discomfort. all of your blinds are shut, the curtains pulled together. "can you please close the door?"
he hums, stepping inside and pulling the door shut quietly. "you seem to be getting them a lot lately."
"probably because i spend so much time with you," you whine facetiously.
he gasps, hand clutching at his heart. "i come all the way here to visit you, only to be ridiculed. my devastation is untellable."
after grabbing a washcloth from the linen closet, he pads over to the kitchen sink. you peer at him from under the blanket as he runs it under cold water, noting how the veins in his forearms become more prominent once he wrings it out.
you're laying across the entirety of the couch, but you scoot away from the edge and he situates himself in the space beside your hip, his body facing you. the corner of his mouth is turned down, evidence of the worry swirling in his chest. he presses the back of his fingers to your forehead before folding the cloth neatly and laying it there.
"you should mention the migraines to shoko," he suggests earnestly.
"they just flare up sometimes, you know that. it's really not a big deal."
"yeah, maybe.. but i still worry about you."
you can't help but notice how close he is and while it feels casual, it also feels... intimate? the cold cloth does bring some relief to your head, though you'd have preferred it if his hand had remained there instead.
"have you eaten?" he questions after a moment, pulling you from your thoughts.
"not yet."
"then i'll go pick up some food," he offers, rising to his feet. "do you need anything else-"
"no," you say a little too quickly, your fingers wrapping around his wrist. "i mean.. can you just stay?"
he suddenly looks very smug. "oh, what's this? are you sure spending more time with me won't make your head feel worse?"
you attempt to roll your eyes but the movement sends a sharp pain through your skull, causing you to grumble. "don't make me hurt you satoru. i was joking."
"i know," he smirks, decently self satisfied. "but you do have to eat, so-"
"there's leftover egg drop in the fridge, can you just warm that up for me please?"
"'course! anything for you, (y/n)-chan!"
his tone makes it sound as if he's teasing you, but he knows it's the truth. he's painfully aware that there isn't a thing you could ask of him that he'd deny. he tries not to think about that though, because he can't bring himself to admit what it all means.
once your soup is ready, he joins you on the couch. you move to sit up and while that makes plenty of room for him, he still lifts your legs, sitting so that they lay across his lap. one of his hands is resting on your shin, the other on your knee.
"shark week?" he suggests as you reach for the remote.
you nod eagerly. "yes."
the two of you have never fought before.
well, maybe that's not entirely true. it isn't uncommon for the both of you to argue over video games, the latest chapter of a manga, or other things of that nature. but you and gojo have never had a genuine disagreement.
that is, until you mention wanting to challenge a decision made by the higher ups. he's well aware of how they deal with people they deem troublesome, so he can't help the vexation that bubbles up in his chest at your words.
"absolutely not," he tells you. his voice is low, not one hint of amusement to be found.
the tone leaves you narrowing your eyes, and you sound a bit misbelieving when you ask, "what do you mean 'absolutely not'?"
after everything that happened with geto, the higher ups have been wary of you. honestly, they're probably just looking for an excuse to pull another stunt like the detention center and he can't risk that. he can't risk losing you.
rather than express any part of that sentiment, however, he just goes all stone faced and vague. it's weird, so naturally it's followed by a bit of back and forth that goes nowhere, the conversation growing unreasonably volatile with each passing second.
why can't you just listen to him? why can't you give him the benefit of the doubt? he's earned that by now, hasn't he?
"i don't understand!" you hiss, your chest heaving with indignation. "why are you acting like this?"
because i love you. because i need you. because you mean more to me than everything else in this world put together.
he can't possibly say that though.. can't lay his shame bare for you to see.. can't bring himself to admit the feelings he has for you.
he's in love with dead best friend's little sister and it's wrong. it keeps him up at night. claws away at his self respect.
"i'll take care of it," he promises, sounding a bit defeated. "just please stay out of it."
"quit treating me like i'm a child, satoru. you're not my father."
your assertion makes the air in the room shift, and the feeling that forms in the pit of gojo's stomach is not unlike a cord being pulled too taut before snapping.
"so what am i then, huh? what am i to you?" he interrogates, taking a step toward you.
his eyes burn with intensity and the conviction in his voice is dizzying, especially since it's meant only for you. he immediately notices the way you stiffen, suddenly unable to meet his eye.
he swallows thickly, any restraint he has left ebbing away once he hears your small, nervous voice. "'toru, w... what do you-"
you're cut off when he takes another step in your direction, your back meeting with the wall after you attempt to maintain the space between the both of you.
one of his palms presses to the wall beside your head, though the other remains at his side. he doesn't want to trap you there, not when he still doesn't have a clear idea of how you're feeling.
his breath fans across your face, your mind struggling to process what was happening. you whisper his name, unsure of how else to respond.
"i want you." he nearly chokes on the words, the pain of admitting them evident in his voice. "want you more than anything."
and he does. he wants you more than the sleep he never gets. more than he wants to honor suguru. more than he wants to be a good man.
his head dips down, your breath catching in your throat when his lips find the spot on your jaw just below your ear.
"please, tell me to stop," he begs, sending a shiver down your spine.
your hands move to his chest, the rise and fall of it uneven and sporadic. god, you make him so fucking weak it's almost pathetic.
his lips shift to your cheek, closer to your mouth, and his hand reaches up to cradle the other side of your face. he sounds irrevocably desperate now, "tell me you don't want me."
your heart's beating so loudly in your ear drums, you can hardly hear yourself speak. "satoru, please."
"please what?" he asks, and for a moment you're unsure of the answer.
you try to open your mouth once more, but the words are lodged in your throat. confusion and frustration rattle around in your head, making it difficult to string together your thoughts. finally you just give in, grabbing his face between your hands and pulling his lips against your own.
he let's out a strangled noise, some unknowable mix of pleasure and relief. his hands land on your hips at once, greedily pulling your body against his own.
his lips are chapped, but they're perfect in the way they move against yours. the kiss isn't clumsy, nor is it unsure. it's ardent and comfortable, as if it's the most natural thing in the world.
you pull away first, each of you holding the other's gaze. you're both hazy eyed, your mouths curved into giddy, lovesick grins.
gojo doesn't hesitate when you glance down at his lips, your words easing that bitter self loathing he'd been enduring for longer than he cares to admit. "if you want me... then make me yours."
taglist: @torusmochi @moonmalice
#m!writes#gojo#gojo x reader#gojo imagines#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru imagines#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk imagines#gojo fluff#gojo angst#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen angst
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