#IDK guys I love blueberry flavored stuff

[theriu]

Me: I’m not sure WHY “popping” boba pearls are so unappealing to me—

My Memory: You hate peas and blueberries specifically because of that gushy pop when you bite into them (and because peas taste nasty)

Me: OH

[z0mbi3k1d]

Romanticizing life Part 4

Food ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

This is just gonna be abt healthy food swaps and things different foods can do for you, I'm not promoting Ed at all!!

Note‼️‼️

Only do these if you want to, you should enjoy your life. That means don't do food swaps all the time, treat yourself! To be honest I probably won't do any of these because I'm happy with my body and don't have too, you should be happy with yourself too!

Eating Healthy 🍓

It is important to eat healthy! It can do lots for your body, skin, and mood, I'm going to give you some healthy food swaps and tasty snacks to help!

Toxic things to get out of your head 🐇

Before I'm going to share these it's important to me that you don't use this unhealthy, stop telling yourself these things

"I need to eat healthy to loose weight"

No, you don't. All bodies are shaped different and process food differently, allergies for example. Not everyone has allergies so what makes you think everyone processes all food the same? You can still be healthy without 'looking healthy'

"I'll only eat for energy, not taste"

Man just enjoy your life 😭 I see ppl say this a lot but it doesn't make sense. Break your shell and try more foods and flavors, enjoy yourself

"I have to look like them"

Nuh uh! You're hotter 💋

Remember if you wouldn't say it to a bunny DO NOT SAY IT TO YOUR SELF‼️‼️

Food swaps 🍡

Here's some food swaps for you!

Sugary cereal ~ Oats with fruit

Ice cream ~ acai bowl

Coffee ~ matcha/Chai

Chips ~ Popcorn

White bread ~ sourdough

My personal favorite healthy foods 🧁

I'd consider myself a pretty picky eater so when it comes to healthy foods this is what I eat

I love all fruits strawberries, blueberries, bananas ect. Fruits are great bc you can do lots with them, you can make smoothies, put them in yogurt or just eat them normally

Peanut butter, okay so I'm not a huge fan but there's a lot you can do with peanut butter and you an make really healthy stuff with it

Granola, guys granola is soooo good I used to eat the bars and they had honey on them too it was so good

Honey is also good but yk

Hummus.. Lowkey feel like a nerd for saying I like it but I do. If you wanna be healthy with it you could use cucumbers!

Cucumbers>>> squash (I hate squash it's so disgusting :p)

Tuna, it has like Idk it's good for you in some ways I wasn't really listening to my father when he was talking abt it

I love nuts!! I think they're a good quick snack

I'd you don't like water get some of the flavors things, they have energy and low cal ones

Apparently dark chocolate is gold for you too sooo

Salmon is also healthy hehe >:)

Chia seeds barley taste like anything so put them in your yogurt or something

TEA TEA IS SOOOOOO GOOD

Things foods can do for you 🍮

Idk how much of this is true but I'm not gonna gatekeep just in case

Dark chocolate can

Holy crap apparently it can protect against UV rays?? 😭😭

It fights tooth decay

And it's a brain food

More brain food

Nuts

Avocados

Eggs

Chia seeds

Fruits

I'm telling you fruits are good for anything and they're sweet!!! They are perfect!!! (If you don't like fruit consider yourself an opp)

Thanks for reading!! 🩷🩷

Thanks for reading!! Have a great day, remember to eat what you want and stay happy!! I love you my sweet angels!! 🩷🩷

[thetravelingtyper]

Our Shattered Heart Headcanons! Pt1 (GN! 'Heart' Reader x Poly! 141 + cbf)

Read Our Shattered Heart Here! Masterlist!

Soft! 141 headcanons for OSH with Heart and Oliver (with ‘heart’ reader in mind) 

(I tend to write heart as coming from America so they brought some stuff with them, no other specifers mentioned!)

General info and mornings!

Since your introduction, you brought the idea of a large American breakfast and the boys have run with this. Past are the days of a quick bite if they can instead spend time together and cook. Even when off duty you all still wake up early. In my mind Kyle and Johnny will take the moment to sleep in, tugging whoever they are with to their chest.

John and Simon are up early, Simon possibly even earlier with either nightmares or Johnny’s snoring. In my mind, Simon won’t keep the mask around you guys so you get sleeping Simon face! Lady Earl Grey for Captain Johnathan Price in my household and Earl Grey for simon. I like the difference in flavors myself. However! If Simon does not need to be up early and you're in his arms he will dig in his heels and stay in bed! John will leave you in bed trying not to wake you up. 

As for OSH my OC Oliver will wake up when heart does, they grew up together and served together so they are bread and butter. You will sometimes shower quickly, do any skincare and prepare for the day around Kyle when you're on base (heart and Gaz share a bathroom).

If you get up early enough Kyle, you, and Johnny will do your typical run before returning. Simon and John usually drink tea together at that point and you will go in and start on breakfast. Homemade pancakes are a win in this household:

Normal for John (likes a bit of bacon with each bite)

Blueberry for Simon and Johnny (Johnny will eat and sneak the batter around you!)

Kyle I can see with strawberries something cute (idk where to source this from lol)

During the intel mission (ie lounging in a flat in London) The boys are a lot more relaxed. You sometimes wake up around 4 for whatever reason and find Simon sprawled out on the couch. He is hard to sneak past so you usually get an early cuddle. When he is off base the man is very, very affectionate. Not openly to the point of Johnny but he likes having a hand on or near you especially after you ran out that night (OSH part 1).  Calls reader lovie and dove

Johnny is a golden retriever. That man will hoist you up and carry you off if your not watching out for him. There is a kiss tax (™)  with this man to release you. Calls reader bonnie and lovie

Kyle will cook with you, always. You both somehow always find yourselves in the kitchen together. He isnt as much as Johnny but he is just as protective. He usually find you throughout base (especially if Konig is around) Calls reader love 

John likes how you prepare his tea. You spent many long nights in his office working to find him asleep. Will seek you out when stressed. Pressing a kiss to your palm or temple is his main method of affection. Calls reader love, dear, and sweetheart

BONUS! Sgt. Oliver ‘Moss’ Knight

Baby boi! All I can say is he is a softy. Gets along best with Kyle so far with a shared love of cooking. He’s 6’2” standing next to Johnny and can match his strength. American and reader’s childhood best friend. Calls you Darling and Sweetheart. Simon’s skull plate mask freaks him out. Brought the reader’s childhood frog (William) to them from home.

[tiptapricot]

brings you a fruit platter XD 🍑 & 🍈 & (blueberries - can't find the emoji, but ur fave underrated thing to write about in ur fandoms)

🍑 —If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

Hmmm this is a tough one because I honestly don’t do/think of crossovers very much? I rly like working within a piece n finding things to expand on inside it. I may unfortunately have to go w the boring answer of I probably wouldn’t JNDBDBD It’s not like I don’t read stuff either but I’m not exactly a literature man in my passions as reading takes a lot of brain power, so idrk any quotes or overarching things id try to tie in? This is honestly kinda interesting to me on its own that I just. Don’t have anything. But ig that’s just how it is fhdhdjbd I’m not rly a crossover or references dude I suppose.

Maybe something with Miguel/2099 stuff and Terry from Batman Beyond? Somth ab future versions of characters n legacies n Terry’s thing of helping an older roughened guy care ab ppl again, and the fact that he had spiderman inspo in his making, idk. But that’s more just a musing more than anything serious.

🍈 —Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions

I have many n don’t have one (I have a super hard time with single favorite characters) so I will not be giving all of them n just give some rapid fire thoughts from across the board.

I love trans Miguel O’Hara and Gwen Stacy esp from the spiderverse movies as I think those readings of them are a very thematically appropriate and fascinating way to explore them, and I love trans people

Comics Steven from MK paints the body’s nails and gets them regular manicures/pedicures/hair care treatments, etc n has an extensive collection of Bath and Bodyworks soaps and scrubs and lotions. They also have semi-sensitive skin and he’s very aware of ingredients and what will work for them

Hera w359 is aLso such a trans woman to me there is so much ab the self and holding it and creating it and breaking from the miles people tell you to stay in and finding the humanity in yourself and creating a new sense of self outside of programming and the literal voice someone forced you to have. I love her so dearly and aUGGH

Show!Steven from MK has a record player and is very careful about taking them out of the sleeves, but not careful about how they end up stacked up. Jake does CDs. Marc downloads random tracks onto their phone or only listens via YouTube (not YouTube music just looking up on YouTube)

🫐—What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

Well this isn’t rly underrated bc stuffs still kicking off but if someone hasn’t already, a timeloop fic for ATSV Miguel would slap absolute ass. I’m also on the (sort of but also not always?) rare train of genderqueer jake, and ofc the very rare train of some-flavor-of-transfem Marc. Also love non binding and non top op trans men/mascs and would lOve to see that around more. I’m also someone who does a lot of inhuman body exploration which while not uncommon in the big scheme I find a way to work into a lot of my headcanons for characters at some point and can be a huge draw (like to Ted n Jack from wwbn, the MK sys with weird Khonshu body effects and differing levels of human connection, or Miguel w his many mutations n differing levels of spider ppl connection).

Send me a fruity writing ask!

[emosnakeboy]

Do all the ice cream questions!

oh sweet jesus ok yeah i suppose thats one way to cute boredom thanks 

chocolate: when was your first kiss? June 13th of 2016, huge ass regrets

french vanilla: how old are you? not old enough to make a difference, in the eyes of the government (but that’s just what i let them think)

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to? hmmm Cairo, Egypt; London, England; Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak? probably german or finnish so i can go to college in one of those countries for free, either that or french or latin so i can pass my classes

coffee: favorite cosmetics brands? i dont use makeup

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors? probably indoors, less sunburn more AC and wifi

cookie dough: do you play any instruments? yes several, i play baritone, clarinet, ukulele (badly), and probably some others that i should be working on. lately i’ve been inspired to learn how to play the trombone.

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment? ohhh boy... Nicotine by Panic! At The Disco, The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance, The Last of The Real Ones by Fall Out Boy, If These Sheets Were The States by All Time Low, and Ground Control by All Time Low (i hecking love atl fight me) (there are so many more songs i could say)

butter pecan: favorite songs for life? oh shit those above, plus both Boy Division and The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign? capricorn

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool? pool, sorry, i don’t really like sand. i like being able to sit underwater and see through my goggles and i just cant do that at the beach

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post? lemme check... the one that wasn’t even mine it’s about how the sanders sides reacted in virgil’s room portraying their fears and shit, my friend sent it via a group chat and i loved it so i posted it and now everyone else loves it

bubblegum: books or movies? can’t pick i love both reading and watching movies for different reasons

pistachio: manga or anime? anime, easier to focus on and takes less time to get through

salted caramel: favorite movies? Love, Simon; Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, i can’t remember any others atm

birthday cake: favorite books? The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Claire, The Maze Runner series by James Dashner, The Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling (particularly the Prisoner of Azkaban), Secrets For The Mad by Dodie Clark

moose tracks: favorites for manga? Fairy Tail Zero and Death Note

orange sherbet: favorites for anime? Yuuri! On Ice and Death Note, but Hetalia is fuckin funny and Fairy Tail is amazing

peanut butter: favorite acedemic subject? honestly i really don’t have a favorite not because i hate them all but because i love them all. my last history and english teachers made the classes fun so i’ve really been loving those two, and science and math are just practical and fascinating and i can’t not love them. i’m a nerd, what else do you want from me?

black raspberry: do you have any pets? 4 cats 3 dogs and a shitload of guppy fish, not to mention my plants

mango: when and why did you start your blog? i think in like March or April of 2018 because it was about time, i wanted to follow fandom shit but then i realized people like my art and moodboards so that’s kinda become what i do now (requests still open btw)

mocha: ideal weather conditions? London weather. Not too hot, not too cold, not too sunny. i don’t like sunburn. plus the rain is relaxing, and thunderstorms are awesome.

black cherry: four words that describe you? what the fuck evenjk i know people want positive.. respectable, intelligent, talented, pretty

NOTE: it’s not being vain to say that ^^ i don’t dwell on them more than i have to, and honestly since i usually feel like a piece of rat shit it’s very good that im able to describe myself as anything other than that. 

neapolitan: things that stress you out? too much clutter when i’m working, assholes interrupting class, my friends hiding things from me, my anxiety and depression constantly telling me to yeet myself off the nearest cliff

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music? pop-rock, pop-punk, rock, sometimes indie shit.. mostly alternative/pop

chocolate marshmellow: favorite brands of candy? TWIZZLERS and i particuarly love hershey stuff, and starburst but i forget who starburst is by

toffee: a card game that you’re good at? solitaire... but i do like Texas Hold ‘Em

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast? most days yeah

peach: how do you relax? drawing, writing, reading, listen to music, sometimes just lie down and do nothing, hug my friends if i can

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet? oh god i read a lot.. Wings of Fire series, i’ve heard a lot about it and i really wanna read it

superman: do you like sweaters? absolutely i do, however not during the summer when it’s this hot

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee? both but not very frequently

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play? ukulele, baritone, guitar, trombone

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried? yes several times at stuff that’s ridiculously stupid

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr would have? do they let me block certain tags and i just haven’t figured out how yet? idk im still pretty new to this site

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs? oh god there’s a lot... im gonna leave it at three for now, and those would be mostly my art idols @elentori-art @the-pastel-peach and @voidsides but there are so many more i wish i could put aiehgsbngu

almond: favorite mean girls quote? i’ve never seen mean girls idk if any of the possible quotes im thinking of are even from mean girls and im not gonna embarrass myself by saying them

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now? unpainted, but last they were black with glitter over the top

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to? yes a few times

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone? yeap and 9/10 times it sucks but then there’s the 1 time where everything goes right and it makes every point in your life up until then worth it

cappuccino crunch: do you ever take naps? not really

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve done? think i was straight until 2016 and humiliate myself by chasing these guys but never truly feeling like i liked them

brownie batter: do you like sushi? never had it but i don’t think so, im not a big fish person

key lime: where do you want to be right now? probably about 30 minutes away from where i am in my s.o.’s arms on their couch watching soul eater or avatar: the last airbender with them

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses? yep im blind as fuck

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream? sea salt caramel, banana peanut butter, pistachio almond, white house/cherry vanilla

ok wow that took a while.. thank u though that cured my boredom and now i have to do stuff so sbfguisng adios y gracias 

[jassycatx33]

Everything that includes "chocolate" in the title!

IWow!!! Thank you, you’ve given me something to do!This will probably be pretty long so I’ll put it under a read more!

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

When I visited Gigi we kissed but I can’t tell you which day it was exactly that we had our first kiss!! (We’re lowkey both babies so we actually haven’t done like a proper kiss, we just did little pecks but I still count them)

french vanilla: how old are you?

I am 21 years old! (Feels really weird to say that still, even 2 months after my birthday lol)

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

Top place I want to travel is to visit Gigi (my girlfriend) again, but I’d also like to go to Japan one day and to California!

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

Hmmm… Probably Spanish because it seems most useful to know as a second language and it seems like a pretty cool language from the bits I learned in high school (and have since forgotten rip)

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

I really don’t use makeup enough to have a legitimate answer to this question lol

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

Indoors for sure, I’m really not big on the outdoors. There’s bugs and the sun burns me (in the summer at least, during fall and winter it’s not so bad but I still prefer indoors)

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

I can sort of play piano but I’m really not good at all lol

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

One of my all time favorite songs forever, even if I haven’t been listening to it much lately, is hold on by florI don’t know what I’ve been really into lately, I jump around a lot and I’ll be honest I’ve been listening to songs from anime the past few days and I don’t feel like listing them because it’s embarrassing lol

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

Okay I didn’t know this would be mentioned but like I mentioned before, hold on by flor. I don’t know why but it’s really hard to think of others because my music mood changes all the time. But I can always jam to hold on by flor.

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

Gemini!

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

Pool, I don’t like the beach that much??

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?

Oh idk I think one from back when I was into Achievement Hunter in 2013 or 2014 lmao. I wouldn’t even be able to find the post to show you I’ve been on this site too long

bubblegum: books or movies?

My answer to this used to be books but I find it so hard to read for fun ever since high school so I’ll say movies

pistachio: manga or anime?

Definitely anime, although I do enjoy manga (especially the Fullmetal Alchemist one)

salted caramel: favorite movies?

Castle in the Sky!!! That’s my main favorite but some others I like are: the Incredibles, Moana, Shrek 2, and Megamind (those are the only ones coming to mind right now and I realize these are all “children’s” movies lol)

birthday cake: favorite books?

The Book Theif is my main favorite. I also really like the Ender’s Game and Warriors series (even though I haven’t finished reading through either series yet lol)

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

Fullmetal Alchemist!

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

This might come as a surprise but… Fullmetal Alchemist (specifically Brotherhood, but I enjoy the ‘03 one as well!) I also really like Soul Eater, Tokyo Ghoul, and Ouran High School Host Club (These are all the anime that I rewatch like 400 times instead of watching new anime lmao)

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

I like English a lot! But I also like math (certain kinds, mostly algebra)

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

Yes I have 3 cats they are my babies!!! Starfire, Sparta, and Brianna!

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

I think I started it back in 2011 or 2012 because I had heard about it on twitter or something and I wanted to look up Harry Potter stuff lol

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

A partly cloudy day with like 60 degree weather so I can wear a hoodie, but don’t need anything heavier. And I don’t like too much sun so clouds are good!

black cherry: four words that describe you?

Annoying, dumb, stinky, ugly … I mean I would use those but that’s just me being mean to myselfSome actual words I could use to describe myself: Emotional, caring, weird, kind

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

So many things oh gosh. School, family, life… You don’t want me to go on really.

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

Probably like rock/alternative and pop to an extent? Idk I like most music really, if it has a cool beat that I can jam to then I probably like it

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

I love m&m’s, Hershey, Dove and that’s probably it?? I especially love mini m&m’s those are the best

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?

I’m awful at all of them honestly and also I barely know any actual card games lol

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

Typically no I don’t.

dark chocolate: turn ons?

My girlfriend

fudge: turn offs?

Anyone who isn’t my gf lol. Ah but a real answer is people who are mean for no reason, I really hate that

peach: how do you relax?

What is relax????? Um usually I just kind of watch stuff or play video games, talk to my girlfriend, hang out with my two friends. That’s about it lol

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?

So many honestly. But um… Of Mice and Men? That’s a big one right? Haven’t read it

superman: do you like sweaters?

I like the look and aesthetic of sweaters but I don’t like wearing them? Or I’ve just never found ones that work for me

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

Neither, I only like hot chocolate for hot drinks

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

Drums! I’ve been wanting to learn drums for a while now. Idk if I ever will or if I’d even be good but it seems so fun!

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

I do this a lot honestly lol

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

Ummm???? I have no idea lol

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

I don’t use this site very often anymore (I put stuff into my queue and I go through the tags) but like I love all my friends blogs!

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“I don’t know why I did it. I guess it’s probably because I’ve got a big lesbian crush on you. Suck on that!” It’s like my favorite part of the movie lol

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

Black. I always paint them black lol

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

Yes? Like confessed love or like having a crush on me? I’ve had people confess that they have a crush on me a few times.

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

Yes, quite a few really and most of them I regret but I have a crush right now on this really pretty and funny girl named Gigi and she’s the best

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

Usually I don’t, even though I probably need them sometimes lol

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

Please don’t make me think about embarrassing things. I can’t think of what is the MOST embarrassing thing I’ve ever done over my whole life because I probably blocked those memories out but in more recent times (like a few months ago or something) I went to Dunkin Donuts and I wanted chocolate frosted donuts but they had none and so I panicked and I just stood there saying “Um… um… um” out loud to this poor cashier dude who was offering suggestions that I kept turning down until I decided to just get a plain glazed donut. When telling this story to my friends I told them that I basically broke lol. It was pretty embarrassing though and the Dunkin Donuts I went to was in the mall and sometimes when I walk past I see the cashier guy and I’m like I can never go in there at least not when that dude is working lol

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

I’ve never really had it so I can’t really say. I can say that based on my pickiness when it comes to eating I probably wouldn’t enjoy it much but idk

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

Not to be too gay (even though that’s my mood all the time) but I wish I was with my girlfriend which is where I always want to be tbh

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

I do! It was weird I didn’t need glasses for the first 19 years of my life and then suddenly I did. I like them though, I think they make me look better (also they help me see lol)

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

I like chocolate chip cookie dough and vanilla, that’s basically it lol.

Thanks for sending the ask Ace! I don’t know if anyone will read through all of this but I had fun answering them all! 

[engagedtobefree]

Monday - I wake up today thinking that today is going to be a good day. Not sure why, maybe because of how shitty I felt last week injuring my neck. The whole week really was better than last week, in general. 

Mondays I am always excited to greet Scott in the mornings. After going 2 days without seeing or talking to him, I am always ready to be in his presence once more. I greet him at the printer on this morning. About half an hour later, I happen to be at the printer again when he walks out of his office to go use the bathroom. “Have you been standing there this whole time?” I tell him no, and am not sure if he’s being serious or joking. Not long after this, a guy comes in from the warehouse asking Steve and Scott where Chris’s new office is. Scott tells him where and the guy starts walking in the direction he needs to go in. Scott goes into his doorway and says stuff like, “Make a left..keep going...just keep going...you got it.” I look at him and he smiles big at me and I smile back. 

I have to ask a co-worker, Ed, about an order. He and another woman handle Latin America and Mexico shipments since they speak Spanish. I have to walk down Scott’s office hallway. When I finish talking to Ed and head back toward my cubicle, Scott turns to look at me and gives me a little smile, and I smile back. I have my booties on today and they’re really loud, so he couldn’t miss me.

During my lunch, I go into Scott’s office as soon as I can so I have plenty of time to talk to him about our weekends. I tell him I got my massage and he asks how it was. I tell him she was a little rough, but got my knots out. I then say, “Yeah, I got a little butt massage at the end too. That was nice.” Scott laughs. Booty massages are the best. He tells me how he did a bit of yard work and changed the headlight in his car. He says how his one plant was dying and how he saw a long line of ants going to it, but he killed them. Turns out, the ants were actually helping get rid of what was killing his plant. I tell him about how I saw a wasp in between my patio door and the screen Friday night and how I thought, “Look at this stupid wasp, he’s stuck.” Well Saturday morning, as I’m sitting there drinking my coffee and reading, the wasp is there again building a nest in the door track. Last year when I moved in, there was already a wasp nest there so I had maintenance come and take care of it. I tell Scott “This time it feels personal. Like, I watched him make his nest right in front of me. I want to personally destroy him.” I tell him I’m going to get wasp spray and how I heard it works instantly. “Last time there were 3 wasps. Luckily this time there’s just 1. But he thinks he’s going to make his little bachelor pad on my porch and he’s wrong.” Scott laughs, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know how to respond to what I say sometimes lol. His hat is lifted up a bit, so more of his forehead shows. I can tell he has a receding hairline, but I don’t care in the slightest. The only thing I’m thinking about is kissing his forehead. Sigh.... Scott starts telling me how he took his daughter to Lowe’s with him on Sunday. He needed some nuts and bolts, and they had 3 bins full of them. His daughter was taking some out of one and putting them in another, messing them all up. Then she hands him a handful of some and says, “Here, daddy.” Oh, it’s so cute: the whole story, how he talks about her, how much she loves him. I pretty much always say the wrong thing though, so after saying it’s cute, I tell him I think most kids do stuff like that. Scott says, “I guess.” I try to redeem myself by saying, “Well, if anyone at Lowe’s ever pisses you off, just take your daughter with you and have her mess things up.” Scott laughs at this.

When Scott makes his tea toward the end of the day, I can tell something is off. He’s in a weird mood. I had heard him on his cellphone not long before this and he went into the warehouse to talk privately. Idk if that had anything to do with it. He’s not really talkative though, and at the end of the day I don’t go into his office. I do pass by him and his hat is on backwards and I want to stop to tell him he looks good, but I don’t. Scott leaves right as it turns 4:45. I hear him and check the security mirror to see if he’s actually leaving because he rarely leaves on time and almost never leaves before me. He had stopped to stand outside his doorway for a few seconds, then conintued walking, quicker than normal. I walk out less than a minute later. He is already in his car and waves to me over the steering wheel. I wave back. He pulls out and leaves before I even get in my car.

Tuesday - Scott is not very talkative today. I don’t mind though, I just hope everything is okay. During my lunch, I tell him how I got a new trash can. I had a plastic one up until now, which I hated because they get so dirty, the lid always fell in the trash, and the trash bags never stayed on. I finally got a stainless steel one with a pedal. I tell Scott, “It’s the little things, ya know?”. I really am excited about my trash can. I tell him I tried the blueberry flavor of the Oui yogurt and how it’s a stupid name because oui means “yes”. We both agree that since most Americans probably don’t know how to even pronounce it just looking at the word that it doesn’t really matter. Scott didn’t know how to say it lol. He asks if I took French in high school, which I did tell him months ago that I did. Again, Idk if it’s because he had less interest in me then or if he is just very forgetful, which I do know Scott can be pretty forgetful. I do notice now how he seems to make a conscious effort to remember things I tell him. He asks me if I remember how to say anything, and I only remember how to say some basic stuff and “I like cheese”, only because I can remember “J’aime” means “I like” and “fromage” means “cheese”, so I just put them together. “That won’t get you very far”, Scott replies, which is very true haha. I do remember hello, good bye, please, and thank you, though those won’t get me far either. I tell him I do remember how to say blue, which is “bleu” (pronounced bluh). Scott finds the word amusing. When Steve comes in, he asks me what Joyce’s meeting is about. “Wait, what meeting? I wasn’t invited.” “Maybe it’s about you”, Scott says. I jokingly tell him he needs to tell me what’s said about me then. I ask Joyce what the meeting is for, and it’s to get ideas from people to make work better and what we should do for fun events. I already gave Joyce some of my ideas, hence why she didn’t invite me. My one idea was dodgeball, so I tell Scott when he’s making tea that he needs to back me up. He tells me the next day he suggested we have four 10 hour workdays instead of five 8 hours. I’m not sure if I like that idea or not. Another idea I had was stand-up desks. I tell Scott this the next day as well, and he said Chris bought them for him and Steve. I wouldn’t mind having to pay for my own tbh.

Wednesday - I greet Scott in the morning at the coffee machine. A little later while I’m at the printer, he comes out of the bathroom, making that face he always makes when he comes out from there and I’m at the printer. I’ve already described it so many times. His face always seems bright, clear, open, his eyes always set right on me. Not long after this, I come out of the bathroom and a co-worker, Rebecca, is making coffee. She sees me and starts talking to me as I stand at the intersection of my cubicle and the hallway. I hear the back door open and turn to see it’s Scott. We give each other small smiles, and then I turn back to Rebecca. As Scott comes up and is about to pass me, I turn back to smile at him again. His eyes were still on me, smile still glued to his face.

During my lunch, we somehow get on the topic of French again. Scott is still pretty quiet today. I know it can’t be me, because I noticed that he hasn’t been talking as much to Steve either. I don’t listen to their conversations anymore, but I can still hear if they’re talking, and I noticed a difference the past two days. I tell Scott I gotta go and he says, “Oh, am I boring you?”. “No, my lunch is over.” I wonder if he’s aware of himself being less talkative. I honestly don’t care, as long as I get to be around him. That’s all that matters to me.

During his lunch, I’m standing at the printer mouthing and dancing along to “Pierre” by Ryn Weaver. Scott comes walking over to make tea. I turn to Scott and stop. He’s smiling. “What are you listening to?”. “Ryn Weaver. The song is called Pierre. I started thinking about French again and it got stuck in my head.” A little while later, I’m walking toward the bathroom when I hear the back door open. I know it must be Scott coming in from his lunch, so I stop walking for a split second and then continue. As I’m turning toward the bathroom, he comes walking up and he grins at me when he sees me. 

At the end of the day, I go to his office to chat for a few minutes. The 2 new female engineers pass by to go into the warehouse with another engineer who is showing them around. Scott looks at them through his window, and I feel a surge of jealousy. I deduce later that he is just curious, as when he talks he seems like he is, but I can still feel an angry little beast clawing in my chest, breathing fire (thanks, Harry Potter, for this image from when you were jealous of Ginny with Dean). Both of the girls seem just a bit younger than me. I don’t think Scott has any interest in them, but nonetheless, it takes me a bit to actually believe this. He gets a phone call and Scott says how the woman who just called has recently got herself to the #1 spot of most annoying customers. I laugh and say I like how he has a list. I say bye and go to shut down and head to my car. When Scott comes out, I wave to him, and we leave about the same time. I can tell by the smile he gives me when he leaves that it’s still me he wants. The beast in my chest purrs.

I notice that when Scott changed his headlights, he put in a different color. Before, his headlights were a purplish color, and now they’re yellowish. There’s so much traffic on the way home that I don’t even notice where Scott is behind me. I bob in and out of cars and get out of a bit of a mess. As I’m about to get off my exit, I see a car with yellowish lights in the middle lane a little behind me, but I assume it isn’t Scott. When the car passes though, I see it is him. Usually whenever he passes me as I get off, he’s in the left lane, so he’s never passed me at such close proximity before.

Thursday - I’m actively busy in the morning, printing a lot, making my coffee, and then going in and out the warehouse twice to bring in paper for the printer. Scott comes in roughly 10 minutes later than usual, while I’m out in the warehouse, so I don’t get to greet him. Idk why, but some days when I miss greeting Scott in the morning, I’m okay with it, but other days I frantically look for ways to stay out of my cubicle to greet him. However, not long after, while I’m at the printer, Scott stops at the warehouse door before he goes out to say hey and ask me how I’m doing. I see him again when I come out of Joyce’s cubicle at the same exact time he comes out of his office. I feel very pretty today: I’m wearing a comfortable outfit and my hair is very straight. I can feel it blowing around me as I walk. Scott pretty much turns sideways as he walks straight ahead so that he can look at me and give me a little smile that I return back to him. We have this weird knack for exiting or entering our work spaces/area at the same exact time. It happens quite often. What also happens a lot is we will be in the bathroom at the same time or he will go literally within minutes of me getting back from the bathroom. I wish we would just collide one of these days, just so that I can at least have an excuse to be close to him, pressed against him. 

I go into Scott’s office during my lunch, and he’s back to his normal, talkative self today. I’m happy to see him in a better mood, and still can’t help but wonder if there was something that had been bothering him. I tell him I saw him pass me on the highway but didn’t know it was him till after he passed. Just like me, he had been weaving in and out of cars to get out of the mess. He tells me there was an accident by him this morning, which is why he was late. I love how he just tells me things like this now. It’s nice. I pull one of my hairs off my sweater and throw it onto the floor. I do this quite often when I’m in his office. “You probably have so many of my hairs on your floor.” He laughs and says how there’s all sorts of stuff on the floor probably, since the cleaning people don’t do anything but clean the bathroom (not even well) and change the trash bags. He tells me not to worry about it. “Oh, I don’t, that’s why I just-” and I make a motion as if I’m picking off another hair and dropping it to the floor. Scott laughs. He tells me he was able to move his stomach appointment up. He’s getting a scope done, just to check and make sure there’s nothing serious going on. He said he’s been gradually feeling better but he still wants to go just in case. He wasn’t supposed to go until the 26th, but he’s now going the 14th, a week from today. I’m happy he’s getting in early, though I hate days I don’t get to be around him. I tell myself it’s fine, I’ll just be able to read more during my lunch. It’s some sort of consolation, at least. I ask Scott if he minds me coming in to talk to him, and he says he doesn’t. I’ve wanted to ask this for awhile now, just to be sure, to ease my anxiety. I think he would be honest with me about that, so I feel better. We start talking about making the workday go by, and I tell him I often listen to podcasts while I work. He and Steve put on a sports talk show in the morning, which reminds me of something I’ve never mentioned. “Oh yeah! I always thought you guys were listening to Steve Wilkos in the morning and I would get confused like, ‘Why do they listen to Steve Wilkos?’”. Scott doesn’t know who he is, so I explain to him and open a youtube video so he can hear his voice. Scott immediately says the other guy’s name, Anthony something, and he agrees they sound similar. I think it’s really funny and crack up. 

Random tidbit, but I realized another connection about our birthdays. So his is 1/15 and mine is 10/15, so you just have to add a 0 to his to get mine. And if you add up the numbers of our birthdates consecutively, you get 27 (mine) and 28 (his). I know this is random, but I love noticing little things like this, not just with Scott, but things in general. 

I’m looking out the window, and the sky is pretty. The clouds are big and fluffy and moving slowly. Maybe a few minutes later, Scott is making his lunchtime tea. I tell him the sky looks pretty and he says he’ll have to look when he goes out. Whether he does or not, I don’t know.

Scott makes some tea again in the late afternoon. “Making tea again?”, I ask. “Yeah, I don’t really need it, just like it for the taste.” I tell him I have blueberry honey if he wants to try it, and he says he will. I open it for him since the lid is kind of sticky. He goes over to stand next to the printer, and when I walk up to him from my cubicle, we end up standing super close. I hand him the jar with my right hand and go to put my left arm around him, but catch myself in time for it to not be noticeable. Our fingers grazed as he took the honey from me. His hands feel as rough as they look, and I wish I could feel more of them. Scott slowly tips the honey and asks, “Like this?” I pause and then say, “Ummm...no, wait. I usually dip the uhhh stirrer in and then put that in my tea.” He goes and grabs 2 stirrers and comes back up next to me, standing just as close to me as before. He dips the stirrers in and asks if it’s too much. I laugh and say, “Yes, you don’t need that much, let it drip. It’s just a small cup of tea.”  I almost say, “You are so cute” as I’m standing there laughing. When I get so close to him, it’s really hard to restrain myself. I want nothing more right now than to wrap my arms around him. At the end of the day I ask him if he liked it, and he said he couldn’t taste the blueberry flavor, to which I respond, “Yeah, it works better in fruity teas cuz it enhances the flavor.” I tease him for almost pouring a bunch of honey into his cup. He laughs and says, “I don’t know, I never use honey”. God, he is the cutest fucking thing.

Friday - About 15 minutes before my lunch, I grab a pretzel at the receptionist desk. I like them warm, so I heat mine up in the microwae. Idk if Scott saw me when I grabbed a paper towel, but when I’m done heating my pretzel and walk back to my cubicle, Scott had been turned toward me. He wasn’t looking at me at first, but then he did when I got closer and gave me a small smile, which I returned.

When I go to talk to Scott on my lunch, he is still back to his normal self. I’m drinking aloe water and offer him some, but he said he had it one time and he thinks it upset his stomach. We get talking about different drinks: we both agree pulp and chunks are gross; I advise him never to have kombucha; and I tell him of my mixed feelings on a chia seed drink I had once. I ask him about his plans for the weekend and he says helping his brother-in-law install a toilet, but most likely he will be doing most of the work. I can feel the beast inside my chest raging now. I am only half-listening, though I am trying to calm myself. I automatically assume it’s his wife’s brother, though I don’t even know if she has a brother, and I don’t register when Scott mentions his nephew, so he was talking about his sister’s husband. I stare at Scott’s arm and have a strong yearning to gently glide my fingers up and down his forearm. I imagine what that would feel like at my fingertips, and how nice it would probably feel for him. I think that this is what finally calms me. He asks me my plans and I tell him probably seeing a friend I haven’t seen in awhile and also going to Barnes and Noble. Scott said he had been in B+N once, and I make some sort of face cuz he laughs and says I looked shocked. “No, I’m not shocked”, but I think maybe I am because how the hell do you go into the bookstore once?? He said he only goes there for the Fantasy Football magazine in September. I tell him I don’t always buy stuff, that I just like being around books, which for some reason makes him smile. When I mentioned my friend and used the pronoun “he”, Scott gave me a weird look, and I wonder if he had a jealous moment himself. I wasn’t trying to incite any jealousy or anything, was only being honest with him about my weekend. We talk without a break in the conversation for the rest of my lunch. He asks me if I’m permanent yet (I’m not, and Scott will probably be the first person I tell tbh); he jokes about how since he has so much vacation he could take like a month straight off, to which I reply “Steve would probably kill you”; he asks me a few things about being vegetarian; we get on the topic of accents and I mention how my one brother-in-law is from China and is hard to understand. Then it clicks that he must have been talking about his sister’s husband. 

I am at the printer when Scott returns from his lunch. I turn around and smile at him and he smiles back. I go into his office at the end of the day Friday like always. I had gone to the paper recycling bin and when I turned around, Scott turned his body toward me while still reading an email, and then turned his head to me a few seconds later as well. I was going to go in anyway. I ask him how the second half of his day has been and he says it picked up a bit. He has 2 chairs now sitting next to each other since Chris gave him an extra one, even though Scott doesn’t need them at all. I sit in the second chair, drape my legs over the middle arms where the chairs touch, and put my back up against his printer. Scott offers me his banana, which I accept. I make sure I grab it in a way where my fingers graze his :) I tell him I’m ready for bed and he’s like “what??”. I tell him how I think stuff has been catching up to me, all those times I barely slept. “I like to put on my headphones and dance around my place, and I used to always do this super late at night, like 10-11pm. I’m honestly surprised my neighbors beneath me never complained.” Scott is smiling. I do still dance, just now within reasonable hours. He asks me if I’m doing anything that night and I tell him I’m meeting my mom for dinner, and he asks me where. We start talking about high school for some reason. Our conversations somehow always end up on many different topics. I tell him, “If I don’t see you on the way out, have a nice weekend, Scott.” “Aight, you too, Dana.” He smiles at his screen and I turn around to say, “See you Monday.” Scott leaves before me somehow, yet again. As I walk outside, he is halfway in his car, and he breaks into a big grin when he sees me. He waves and I wave back. I love how he can’t help but show how happy he is when he sees me.

So yeah, these posts got really long again somehow. Idk, I just like documenting all our little moments, and I write them out at my second job on Sundays this way I don’t really have to give up any of my time at home, unless of course I don’t finish these at work. I wonder what Scott would think if he knew I wrote about him every week. Would he be freaked out or would it make him feel good? Idk. I should try to make these shorter again honestly; I mean, I don’t really go back and read them. Anyway, I do like getting to know Scott and developing a bond with him. Yeah, I do think about being affectionate with him a lot, but I still don’t know if that will ever happen. I do feel like he came into my life for a reason though, and that it will be a very long time before he leaves it.

[folieadeuxover]

do all of the ice cream asks? or if that's too many, every other one of them?

anon, this took me all fuckibg morning so u better appreciate the effort. omg ok i had to look up how to put a ‘read more’ on mobile but i think i figured it out??anyway the html for this was a BITCH so i hope it looks good

chocolate: when was your first kiss?year before last, she was a good friend

french vanilla: how old are you?19

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?Tokyo, NYC, Moscow

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?prolly french, i can speak it, but not fluently

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?uhhh??????

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors? think it depends on the weather or activity tbh

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?i CAN play the drums (outta practice tho) and i can play the ukulele (badly) and my baby is my bass guitar💕

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?the entire album 'Brooklyn’ by Kenny Harris

butter pecan: favorite songs for life? 'Hallelujah’ by Fall Out Boy & 'Breakfast In America’ by Supertramp

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?gemini ♊️

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?pool, i hate the beach

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?that one about ravenclaw and dick jokes, it has like 75k notes

bubblegum: books or movies?why not both

pistachio: manga or anime?anime tbh

salted caramel: favorite movies?Snatch, Airplane!, Baby Driver, & Iron Man

birthday cake: favorite books???? how can u ask me that’s like picking a favourite child wtf

moose tracks: favorites for manga?????

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?maybe SNK or Black Butler cus i’m basic but OHSHC was the first anime i ever watched and it was great

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?hm, maybe physics?

black raspberry: do you have any pets?nope:(

mango: when and why did you start your blog?THIS one i started in i think 2014 cus i was a loser w no friends but my FIRST blog was a shitty, cringey, superwholock blog i made in 2012 and deleted in 2014

mocha: ideal weather conditions?thunderstorms!

black cherry: four words that describe you?narcissistic, self-destructive, stupid, quick

neapolitan: things that stress you out?who am i? who do i wanna be? what am i doing with my life?

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?depends. loud stuff is good when u don’t wanna think, calm stuff is good when u know u gotta

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?cadburys for chocolate, and haribo, for sweets (tangfastics & supermix specifically)

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?poker & blackjack cus i’m a great liar

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast? sometimes

dark chocolate: turn ons?attention

fudge: turn offs?like? dirty people? u gotta make an effort, like wash ur hair, spray some perfume & clean ur nails, it’s not hard tbh. also neckbeards, i hate like 90% of masculine-ppls facial hair. ew.

peach: how do you relax?i don’t

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?Game Of Thrones (i watch the show tho)

superman: do you like sweaters?yep. and that goes double if it’s someone else’s.

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?both

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?piano!!!

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?yeah, usually with my big sister

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?make html less ridiculous on mobile, this is taking YEARS to type cus i’m tryna format it on a iphone keyboard

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?my gf has some quality content tbh

almond: favorite mean girls quote?anything concerning the mathletes tbh they were great

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?not wearing nail polish cus i work with food

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?like a confession of love? yeah. and i was literally the embodiment of 'read 20:35’also some other guy told me he loved me and i just said 'thank you’ so??

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?ya, obviously

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps? Depression Naps™ are Integral

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?oh god idk too many

brownie batter: do you like sushi?YES I LOVE IT

key lime: where do you want to be right now?anywhere but here

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?yup

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?mint & salted caramel

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #92

“i’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”

five things you associate yourself with: youtubers, meerkats, video games, snakes, photography. what’s your sleeping playlist (give me five songs)? i don't actually listen to music to sleep, but if i did... "lay your world on me" by ozzy osbourne, "nothing else matters" by metallica, "perfectly flawed" by otep, "coma black" by marilyn manson, "nebel" by rammstein. what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have? a pet meerkat. but one, it's not legal in the u.s., but also, i don't really support keeping them as pets. are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person? butterflies and dogs. what would you like to call your significant other?  i use "hunny" most frequently. what are the names of your pets?  teddy, cali, bentley, venus. do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?  depends on my mood. sometimes i like them with ketchup, sometimes not. any special talent that you have? catastrophizing lmao who was your first crush?  not sure of *first*, but the first i remember was dylan. who was your 5th grade teacher?  mrs. whitley. she was also my second grade teacher. who would you kill if you could get away with it? no one. what was your high school mascot? firebird. what was your first screen name? uhhh, flowerourqueen i think? how do you feel about same sex marriage? go for it, dude. what are your favorite pieces of poetry?  anything edgar allan poe. what’s your favorite season? winter. what’s your fatal flaw? i have zero confidence. what color are your pants? orange, black, and white. they're halloween-themed. when was the last time you read a good book?  when i was in the hospital. "rise of the lich king" was great. favorite clothing store?  rebel's market. how often do you go to parties? if you don’t, what do you do instead? i never go to parties. and... stuff? who is the smartest person you know? girt. craziest thing you’ve ever done? go on a ride i was absolutely horrified of at a totally sketchy festival. is there a guy who you can go to with no make-up on in sweatpants and bedhead and he couldn’t care less? yeah, girt. do you and your family pray before eating dinner? no. what’s your favorite video game? "silent hill 2" do you own any form of a gameboy? yes. what’s your favorite store in the mall?  hot topic have you ever gotten a matching piercing or tattoo with someone? yes. do you like corn?  yeah. ever made out in a pool? not that i remember. last vacation destination you went to? the beach. have you ever been to seawo​rld? yes.​​ why were you last hospitalized? suicide attempt. do you prefer analogue or digital clocks?  analogue, aesthetically. are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? hell yeah i am because you're crazy if you pay that much for /movie theater/ food. do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? a female, because i'm a female. can you write well in cursive?  yes. my normal writing is a mix of cursive. have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated? yep. is your all-time favorite television show still on air? no. would you ever donate blood?  i have before, but i probably wouldn't again. i'm too scared of passing out. are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend?  not actively, no. have you ever painted a car?  no. are there any gnomes in your yard?  no. what’s your favorite type of seafood? i only like shrimp. have you ever been to florida?  yes; my grandma lives there. which is harder - walking in the snow or sand? sand. do you think it’s okay to flirt with someone that’s already taken, as long as it goes no further?  no. are you adopted? no. do you say “i love you” even when you don’t mean it? i have to to my mom when she says it to me even if i'm pissed at her and don't feel like i do because if i don't, she pitches a fucking fit. do you prefer wheat or white bread?  wheat. is your profile private? my facebook profile? yeah. do you break things when you are mad?  no. people who do that scare me. is it okay to kiss people if you’re single?  no. that can really result to leading people on. do you want to be single?  i don't *want* to be, but i don't *mind* being single. there's a difference. have a built-in pool in your backyard? no. a trampoline? no. do you go tanning?  no. ever been to a circus?  yes. do you keep magazines by your toilet? no. what are the best kind of girl scout cookies?  those ones that're peanut butter filled and covered with chocolate. do you like to have ice in your drinks? no. waters it down. name a topic you consider yourself knowledgeable with. meerkats. what’s the easiest way to make you smile/laugh? just whisper "top of the mornin' to ya laddies" into my ear ho. okay no seriously idk. do you own any band merch?  yeah. what is your favorite way to eat popcorn? (buttered, salted, plain..) buttered and salted. have you ever faked being sick to get out of something? yep. do you know how to read music? i used to. probably not anymore. what's the saddest video game you've ever experienced? "that dragon, cancer" do you know how to tap dance? i know how to clog. same thing, just different shoes. did you believe in santa clause when you were little? yes. my ex didn't tho and i felt so bad for him lol. what’s your favorite flavor of skittles? red how bad are your hangovers? never had one. have you ever broken a bone? if so, what was the cause of it? not broken, but fractured. i bent my wrist all the way backwards when i fell while skating. which of your five senses would you give up? smell. are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? slugs, maggots/larvae... what brand of batteries do you usually get? duracell, i think? what super power would you refuse, if it was offered to you, and why? mind reading. what's your favorite discontinued product that you wish would come back? hmmm... who is someone you would never swear in front of? my grandma. have you ever caught a fish? yeah. is there a song that makes you cry every time you hear it?  no. a plant grows on your grave after you die, carrying a piece of your soul - what plant would it be? a weeping willow tree. pen or pencil? pencil. can you run a mile in under 7 minutes?  HA what’s your favorite shampoo/conditioner?  i use suave. are you a fan of the grand theft auto series? no. do you like the beach? not really. i hate the feeling of sand. have you ever sleep walked? no. how about sleep talked? yeah. gum or mints? gum who did you last attend a concert with? mom, nicole, jason. have you ever received nude pictures from someone? no. admit it: you had a neopets account. you're goddamn right i did lmao waffles or pancakes? pancakes. name a food that doesn’t sit well in your stomach.  fancier foods, really. my stomach gets upset fast. what’s your favorite eye color? blue. have you ever been accused of cheating? nope. do you like chinese food? only the fried rice and eggrolls. how big is your bed? queen favorite comedian?  john pinnette, rip<3 do you smoke?  no. does anyone like you?  *shrugs* do long distance relationships work?  sure, some do. pancakes or french toast?  french toast. best thing about winter? snow!! do you have feelings for someone? i always will. do you like sushi? never tried it, never will. i'm perfectly aware i'd hate it. do you like your hair? yeah. it's really healthy. have you ever been prescribed narcotics? yes, xanax. does it take a lot for someone to annoy you?  NOPE do you want your tongue or belly button pierced? i wanted snake eyes on my tongue for a long time, but i learned from a professional piercer that with me having a metal retainer behind my bottom teeth, it's really an awful idea. a belly button piercing would be cute, but i'd need to be much skinnier to look good with one. do you hate it when people smoke around you? very much. can you take a bra off with one hand? no. are you donating your organs? yes. i won't exactly need them, might as well help others. what kind of deodorant do you use? secret. do you sleep on your side, stomach or back?  side, always. ever met any online friends in person?  no, but i want to. do you know how to sew? no. did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings?  i shared a room with my little sister nicole for years. have you ever been a fan of n*sync? of course i was. but i was and still am more of a bsb gal. do you think you’re fat sometimes? i don't just think i am, i'm fully aware i am. do you think you would be a good parent?  no. are you any good at math? i actually was until the alphabet came into it lmao have you ever been called a hick? no. have you ever rode around in the bed of a pick up truck? ha ha ha bad follow-up question. but yes. can you touch your nose with your tongue? no. were you a big jump roper back in the day? yes. i got very close to being able to double-dutch. can you play pool? i mean i'm not good, but there's nothing hard about hitting a ball with a stick. do you think that you are a good singer? no. what languages can you count to ten or higher in? english, german time for a random question about the person you love/like. what’s his/her favorite food? i'm not entirely sure, but i think pizza. what’s the age difference between your parents? which one is older? two years. mom's older. if someone read your mind right now, what would they hear? chanting of "BILL! BILL! BILL!", mark fischbach's laughter, dank memage, and. y'know. other stuff. do you like egg yolks? NO. have you ever played bejeweled? yes. my mom was totally into it for a while. who would you never give a kidney to?  my mom. at least i'd probably do it; i'd be really fucking scared. my mom only has one kidney to begin with, so if this kidney fails, she's done. have you ever been bitten by a rat?  no. my pet rats have nibbled on me before, but never bit me. do uncrustables look disgusting to you, or is that just me?  i think they're gross, honestly. does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? no, ew. is there someone that has really influenced your life? who? my therapists at holly hill and mark fischbach taught me soooo much about positivity. come on, everyone loves cartoons! what’s your favorite one? pokemon, duh. what is the most common misconception with you? i'm antisocial and don't care because i don't talk much. out of the seven deadly sins, which do you feel is the worst? wrath. have you been guilty of that sin a lot? no. i'm not a vicious person. congrats, you’re getting a new car! what color do you choose? i don't drive, but if i did, i want a burnt orange car. be honest: do you illegally download music? yeah. what’s the worst crime someone can commit? rape. do you ever rock out to those 90s songs?  hell yeah. shit i grew up with. what color is the hair of the last person you kissed? black. does the last person you kissed wear glasses? no. who knows the most about you - your friends or your parents?  my ex knows more about me than anything, but between the two, my mom. how many people would you say you’ve been ‘in love’ with? one. ever have detention at school? what for? yes, for too many tardies. if your parents were going to adopt one of your friends, who do you think they would choose? colleen. has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in? what happened? yes. and the bitch didn't get her wish. were you ever bullied in school? how did you deal with it?  no, thank god. what dog breed is the cutest ever? akita inu. do you or have you ever owned a pair of light up shoes? as a kid, yeah. ha ha i loved them. when was the last time you watched the sun set? hm. it's been too long. i think it was this one time chelsea, colleen, and i went walking around a soccer field. would you ever have an open relationship? HA. no. by society's standards, are you attractive? ha, no. would you let your kid smoke weed? hell no. who was your first friend?  brianna. we were like two. have you ever been to germany?  i wish. what is your middle name?  marie. catherine if you count my catholic middle name. do you have any nieces or nephews? including half-siblings, i have ten or eleven that i know of. i can't remember if katie has three or four, and idk if tiffany has kids. do you know anyone who's in a destructive/unhealthy relationship?  yes. if you had money right now, what's one thing you would buy?  tickets and gas to go see markiplier's show in june, if he plans a show within reasonable driving distance from nc. would you ever own an exotic animal?  depends on *how" "exotic." ex., i'd own a sugar glider or kinkajou. when you decide you’re ready to become a parent, what’s something you would never do that your parents have done in the process of you growing up?  you mean *if* i wanted to be a parent, which i don't? first of all, i'd never, ever, spank my kids. do fucking not teach your kids through fear. who is the funniest person you know?  that i know personally? girt. have you ever kissed underwater? i think so. would you rather have big or small dogs? i like medium-sized dogs. what is your opinion on beards? depends. what is the most fun part of halloween to you? dressing up! do you believe that the moon landing was real or do you think it was fake?  i actually do see why some people think it's fake because there are some VERY compelling pieces of evidence, but i do believe it was real. what is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? oh, where to begin. what is the worst thing a relative ever did to you? like screamed at me and called me an ungrateful bitch. do you think that everyone is capable of love? no. if you could have a customized phone, what would you put on it? ha ha i really want that cute case that looks like a medicine bottle and is labeled "chill pills" when you were little, what was your favorite game? the original "spyro the dragon" trilogy would you rather sleep on the moon with a stardust dress or on a tiny flower with a sunflower dress? well there's a strange question. but the first. what is one thing that reminds you of childhood? catching fireflies. have you ever talked to someone when they were high? not knowingly. when was the last time you read a full book?  months ago. in february, i started reading "the maze runner," but i didn't finish it. how many brothers do you have? one half-brother. do you like mexican food? no. are you old enough to buy alcohol? oh wow... i just fully fathomed that i am. who’s your favorite disney character? mufasa. have you ever taken the eharmony personality quiz?  HAHAHA GUYS I DID ONCE OUT OF TOTAL CURIOSITY AND IT COULDN'T MATCH ME WITH ANYONE what’s the nickname of your home state?  tar heel state. have you ever thought about your wedding?  yeah. what’s the worse type of weather in your opinion?  scalding hot and humid. ugh. would you rather read or write?  write. would you rather see taylor swift or carrie underwood in concert?  i mean really neither, but i prefer carrie. growing up, did you see your cousins often?  no. none of my cousins live in nc. do you have any posters on your walls? lots. two silent hill ones, one of illidan from wow, one of metallica, one meerkat one, one music-oriented one, a quote by mother teresa, and one of jack skellington. what’s your favorite sad song? probably "fade to black" by metallica. do you personally know any authors? i met a poet while in the hospital once. he was quite talented. what condiments do you like on hamburgers? ketchup, mustard what did you get your dad for his last birthday? nothing. i don't get money and god knows mom would never buy me something for him. do you like foods with coconut in it? no. do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked?  i don't like carrots. what’s a chore you don’t mind doing? vacuuming have you ever been to costco? we don't have costco here. do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? no, thank god. how many video games do you own?  A LOT. we have a huge case. do you like the name cindy for a girl?  no. have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? no. what are your point of view of the world? ex. liberal/conservative, spiritual/atheist: mostly conservative, religious. is there an age where being a virgin, you think, would be awkward? ... no? do you find zac efron sexy? eh, not "sexy," but cute. do you think aliens are real? no, but who really cares. be concerned about our planet first. do you have any scars on your body? left shin, chin, and the top of my right wrist. what was your favorite childhood toy? i actually had a bunch i used to play with. two t-rexes, a tricerotops, two crocodiles, two deer, and a few pokemon figurines. i actually still distinctly remember the deer was named kim and the crocodile was named marlin and they were husband and wife lmao. don't argue with my childhood logic. what color is your favorite eye shadow? black. what’s your favorite hairstyle on a guy? i am a fucking 14-year-old bc i have a huge weakness for the emo swoop okay. who was the last person to call you beautiful? tyler. what is your least favorite sour patch kids color? orange. would you take your ex boyfriend/girlfriend back? tyler, no. jason, only if he SERIOUSLY proved himself to me again. are your parents religious? yeah. are you religious?  yes. do you actually read your friends' surveys, or do you just copy paste them and fill them out yourself? i do. it's a good way to learn about people. which is your favorite episode of “i love lucy”? i'm not gonna spell this right, BUT THE VITAMEATAVEGIMAN ONE. name two people who you are closest with?  mom and sara. which one of those two people would you eat first if you were starving?  neither. i'd rather die. there are some things where living would no longer be worth it. do you know what the heck the difference is between the statements “we’re just dating” and “we’re together”? yes. "we're together" is definitely more serious. what would you call your aesthetic? gore, glitchy art, pastels, jellyfish, lace, black, scene/goth/emo style bc LAME, space, vintage favorite songs at the moment? it's been "do i wanna know?" by the arctic monkeys for a long time. favorite movies? my #1 is "alice in wonderland," tim burton's version. i also love "the crazies," "blair witch project 2: book of shadows," "white chicks," etc. what’s the name of the last cat you pet? either lexi (our old cat), or one of anna's (sister's mother-in-law) many cats. have you ever eaten stringed green beans before? yes. when talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear?  right. what’s your favorite flavor of muffin? chocolate chip. does your father have any facial hair? yes. does your sibling have a significant other? katie, bobby, and tiffany, idk. misty and ashley, yes. nicole, no. any idea what you want for your next birthday? another tattoo. have you ever ridden an elephant? no. what parts of your body are shaved? armpits and legs. imagine you are 34 weeks pregnant. you are healthy and you didn’t have any major problems in your pregnancy. would you consider flying from the uk to germany, which takes one hour, without a bad feeling that something could go wrong or the baby decides to come out earlier? no. i probably just wouldn't do it. has anyone ever mistaken you for a satanist? yes, because of my wardrobe, especially in high school. would you take a very casually dropped 'maybe i should just kill myself’ as a warning sign? yes. are you aware that although only about 14 percent of the american total population is black, that about 70 percent of the people in jail in america are black?  why does something tell me that the person who made this survey is racist?? do you agree with the people who say that everyone is bi-sexual even if they don’t want to admit it? absolutely not, that's ridiculous. if you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them? cliche, but i'd tell them it's not the answer nor is it ever worth it. and i'd call 911 myself. which disney princess do you think is the most beautiful? why? hm. not sure. if you met the celebrity that you most admire, what would be the first thing you’d say to him/her? god bless if i ever met mark, i know i'd tell him first, "if there truly is a god, i want him to be like you." what genre of movie do you typically watch the most? i prefer horror. do you enjoy visiting zoos or wildlife parks? yes to both. if you could bring back any extinct animals, what would you pick? tasmanian tiger. would you ever eat a traditional "pet", like cat, dog or guinea pig? no. what kind of wild animals do you see where you live? squirrels, opposums, raccoons, whitetail deer... what do you think of animals like orcas/dolphins being kept in captivity for entertainment? i don't support it. which one of your friends have you known the longest? colleen. are you good at making new friends? no. can you describe what was going through your mind during your last kiss? it only lasted a second, but "i really don't know if i should be doing this." how many friends do you have, whose name begins with g? one: girt do you like the hunger games? i've read the first book and seen the first movie. it's fine. are you any good with kids? no. like i shit you not i once pet my niece's head lmao would you ever like to meet marilyn manson? no. he's one of my all-time favorite artists, but i don't want my already-poor image of him to be further defiled. love him as a musician, but he's honestly a pretty shit person. would you rather hold hands or link arms with your significant other?  hold hands. do you always blow-dry your hair after you wash it? never. i would be there for a looong time. my hair is super super thick and takes at least ten minutes to fully blow-dry. have you ever witnessed a birth? only cat births. i never want to experience a human birth. it's not magical, it's gross. do you buy eggnog around the holidays? eggnog's gross. have you ever been on a farm? yes. last three texts on your phone are from? mom, sara, ashley. did you ever have braces? i did for too long because we didn't have the money to take them off. thank god they're gone now. what was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn? latin. that shit was like impossible. who is the prettiest person you’ve ever met? my friend alon. what does your voice sound like? mumbly, deep. what event did you last dress up for? who went to that event? my sister's wedding. and lots of people. do you believe prayer really works? honestly don't know. i kinda think it's just a display of faith to talk to god. idk if it really influences him to "do" anything. Nope. does it bother you when dogs lick you? no. do you feed your pets human food?  they'll sometimes get a little piece. what’s the strangest or rarest creature you’ve seen at a zoo? i think i've been to a zoo that had a tiger once... do you think violence in video/computer games influences the nation? no. that claim is ludicrous. i’m sure you know of the gamer fad on youtube. who’s your favorite? markiplier, easily. but i also like pewdiepie and 8bitryan. deserts: dreary or beautiful? beautiful. ever seen a panda? no. ever actually seen a snake in the wild? yes. i've seen rattlesnakes, water moccasins, and others. have you ever had a PET snake? what kind? yes. i've now had/have three ball pythons. ever had an encounter with a snapping turtle? they’re scary! yes. my sister actually caught a huge one while fishing. dad sadly had to just cut the line. wherever you live, have you ever seen your national bird? once. ever had a reptile as a pet that you had to feed crickets? yes, a chinese water dragon. ever play hearthstone?  yeah. didn't really get into it. ever gone hunting? biggest thing you’ve ever shot? no. i don't really support hunting for sport. how about fishing? biggest thing you’ve ever caught? lots of times. pretty big river catfish. coolest place you’ve ever been fishing? ohhhhh! there's this place downriver of a dam that's deep in the woods. like, DEEP in the woods. it's sooo fucking beautiful. what’s in a camel’s back? fat. steve irwin: foolish for messing around with animals or brave for teaching us? he was fucking amazing. don’t you think it’s a bit deceptive to wear a push-up bra? *rolls eyes* do you truly believe we came from chimps?  nope. well, what do you think of extra bones and even organs in our bodies? why do we have them? do your research and you'll know that our "extra" organs actually have purpose; i can't remember which, i think the appendix though, is vital to an fetus's existence. as for bones, i honestly don't know, but i don't believe that automatically points to evolution. weirdest video game you’ve ever played? i mean i'd say the whole "silent hill" series is pretty damn weird. what’s your favorite kind of penguin?  emperor. don’t you think we’re spending too much money on exploring the mere theory of climate change? "theory." get outta here. everyone always wants to know your favorite animal. what’s your SECOND favorite? probably rhesus macaques. i just really like social animals. would you marry someone of a different religion? depends on the religion, honestly. religion plays a key role in determining your core beliefs. favorite song by the band the offspring?  "pretty fly for a white guy," probably. maybe "self esteem." have you had your wisdom teeth out? no, but i have one on my bottom right that technically needs out, but after hearing how painful that procedure is, i reeeaaally don't wanna do that. your appendix?  no. do you like the idea of promise rings in relationships?  sure. not quite ready to promise marriage, but promise to be ready some day. would you date someone 8 years older than you?  yeah. what is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex? lmao what secret weapon? do you have a favorite name? what is it? alessandra. do you watch scary movies on your own?  yeah. scary movies just don't affect me. have you ever had to have stitches?  yes, in my chin. what was your favorite pokemon as a child?  charmander.

[asmolbirb]

i like you answer all the ice cream asks please and thank you

bless you anon

also omg omg omg thank you for liking me!! ilu~!

under a cut, it’s gonna get long

to people who just got a notif that u were tagged in this post…. one of the questions was “favorite blogs?” and i mentioned you in that category. no need to read this whole mess trying to figure out why you were tagged ^_^

french vanilla: how old are you? 

18

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

korea, japan, england

i know this is vague af lol but my travel dreams are also vague af at this point

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

korean

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

i’m not really a big fan of cosmetics?

does nail polish count? because if so, sinful colors

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

outdoors

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

yeah i play piano

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

bts - spring day

bts - not today

seventeen - highlight

bigbang - fxxk it

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

bts - intro: never mind

bts - let me know

bts - tomorrow

exo - promise

exo - peter pan

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

aries

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

pool

sand is the worst

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?

i think it’s still that stupid lotr post? it peaked at about 140k 

bubblegum: books or movies?

books

pistachio: manga or anime?

anime

salted caramel: favorite movies?

a single man

arrival

tangled

birthday cake: favorite books?

the host

battle royale

the princess bride

the giver

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

death note

bleach

liar game

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

death note

bleach

sword art online

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

fiction writing 

followed, surprisingly, by organic chemistry

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

no

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

like 5 years ago

my original blog (not this one) was gonna be a place where i logged my thoughts (like a diary) somewhere my parents wouldn’t see

then a friend asked to follow me and i didn’t want her seeing my online diary so i made the blog that i have now

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

like mid 60s 

light breeze

sun but with clouds

no pollen in the breeze

black cherry: four words that describe you?

UMM??

ambitious

artistic

determined

independent

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

change and uncertainty

time crunches

unexpected high stakes events

the possibility of rejection

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

i’m a big fan of lyrical rap

i also really really love songs with heavy thumping bass lines. like, the type you blast in your car with the bass turned high so you can feel it thrumming through your body.

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

ghirardelli

hershey

lindt

ferrero rocher

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?

ers/egyptian rat screw/slapjack/sandwich

whatever you call it

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

….no

dark chocolate: turn ons?

LITERALLY SO MANY

guys in button ups/tight shirts with the sleeves rolled up to their elbows

firm hugs (from guys)

rubbing/scratching my back

some nsfw stuff

fudge: turn offs?

man buns

neckbeards

a lot of kinds of facial hair, tbh

facial hair is hard to do well

hypermasculinity

peach: how do you relax?

headphones: in

phone: silenced

dick: out

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?

eleanor and park by rainbow rowell

superman: do you like sweaters?

eh ://

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

coffee sometimes

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

guitar

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

all the time, i’m glad to say

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

telling you when someone changes their url, and what someone’s old urls used to be (or at least their most recent url)

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

D: i wanted to say @elementary-mydearlaufeyson but they seem to have either deactivated or changed urls and idk what their new url is because?? we never talked even though we were mutuals but i admired them a lot and….anyway i’m sad now but they were really great

@inkskinned​

@academla​

@fiftyshadesofselfdestruction​

a few bts and seventeen blogs that are??? really great???????

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

uM

get in loser we’re going shopping

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

currently no color buT they were pink until this morning

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

yes

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

lol

LOL

L O L

L O L

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

LMAO all the fucking time

depression naps are my favorite pastime

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

in high school, i wanted to be friends with a really cool kid, didn’t know how to talk to him, eventually told him i was going to ? stalk him on facebook??? to find out more about him?????? yIKES @ HIGH SCHOOL ME WHO EVEN WERE YOU

he thought i was fucking insane

and i don’t blame him tbh

i’m sorry friend 

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

hell yeah

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

in my bf’s arms

but i don’t have a bf

so

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

yes

(fuck contacts)

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

rocky road

[canaryatlaw]

GUYS. so today was my birthday and it was pretty great. I woke up at like 11 and decided to get up because I didn’t want to just sleep all day (sometimes when I have nothing better to do I’ll just go back to bed) so I got out of bed and everything, decided to make a blueberry dutch baby for breakfast since it’s been a little while since I’ve made one and they’re pretty easy and good. so that took a little while and I went on my computer while it was baking and while I was eating it. Once I finished I got dressed and headed just over to main street so I wasn’t stuck in my apartment all day, so I walked down to the Francesca’s since I hadn’t been in there in a while. I wanted to check out their jean selection because I have one pair of jeans from them I got like two years ago that are super comfy and a lot of my jeans right now aren’t fitting very well so I was hoping I could find some more, and they had some that were from the same label but weren’t really the same thing and didn’t fit well, so I ended up moving on from there. I walked a little further down to where there’s like this t-shirt store that has a bunch of other funny random stuff in it so I just walked around for a while and appreciated it. I walked back up the street after that and stopped in a clothing store to look around a bit and chatted with one of the staff members about my day and plans. I wanted to stop at Starbucks to use my birthday reward (though nothing can top 2015 when they had the specially featured birthday cake frappuccino for one day ON MY BIRTHDAY) so I got a grande vanilla bean frap with 3 pumps of raspberry syrup (which is supposed to be like cotton candy flavored or whatever, it just tastes good) and sat in Starbucks for a little while before heading back home. Once I got home I watched last night’s episode of The Resident since I hadn’t gotten around to doing that yet. Such a good show, and a good episode. I otherwise just chilled out for a bit and got some stuff ready for the interview tomorrow (!!!!) before heading out a little after 5 to meet Jess at her work when she got off and from there headed to Olive Garden for our little birthday celebration, part one anyway. The initial plan was to hit up The Cheesecake Factory and their fancy movie theatre but since that’s a bit far north and we didn’t want to be out too late we decided we would do that on Saturday. So we drove over there and got seated, then definitely got flooded with too much food on the table and did not finish all of it, lol. We finished up there and drove over to the movie theatre where we were gonna see Captain Marvel! Very excited since I haven’t gotten a chance to see it yet. And it was really good! I was kinda surprised we didn’t learn more about like, her childhood and life on earth before all of this happened but I liked what we did get to see. I knew going in that the Kree were the real bad guys lol (which I mean, they’re chatting with Ronan fairly early on, were we really supposed to believe they were good??) and they actually managed to make the Skruls fairly sympathetic after initially painting them in a not very good light. I loved Carol and Fury’s relationship, they were great together. The whole scene of them fleeing the government base with the team trying to chase them down was great. and Goose!!! I loved him so much (and I’m only a little bit partial given my own cat) but he was basically the best and I can’t wait for him to eat Thanos in Endgame. The whole climax though when Carol discovers her true powers and starts beating the crap out of the Kree was so fucking cool, she kicked so much ass and I love it so much. Basically it was a great movie all around, definitely one of the better ones I’ve seen in the past few years (it doesn’t quite eclipse Wonder Woman for the number one spot but it at least makes the top 5). So yeah, all of that was very much fun. Drove home after that, I showered and started getting ready for bed, got everything set out and ready to go for tomorrow morning then started writing this and now I’m here. The interview is at 10 and they want me to get there like 10 minutes early for paperwork and such and given I’ll have to go through security as well (the office is in the courthouse building) I’m planning on entering the building around 9:30, so I’ll give myself an hour to get there (it will not take me an hour but that’s what extra time is for) and an hour to get ready (I won’t need a whole hour to get ready) so I’ll set my alarm for 7:30 in order to have plenty of time to be good to go. Now, if you haven’t been paying attention or are just tuning in now, this is *the* interview for the job that I want more than any other and have been hoping for for over a year now. This is the office I interned in during law school and I know every inch of it from the 600+ hours I spent there working. I know I can do this. I just have to make it happen. This is the thing I really care about though, and when I’m in other job interviews and it comes up they always say they like that I get really passionate about it, so hopefully they will see this as well and that will be what they’re looking for. I mean, I know it’s not going to be difficult for me to talk with them because this is what I care about, there’s no BSing here, this is where I want to be and why I made the choices I’ve made thus far to get here. Now I just need to make it happen. Idk who exactly they’re looking to hire or how open they would be to hiring “new” attorneys, but I plan on making it clear that they can handle me a stack of files and send me to court the next day and I’d do just fine. I’ll do whatever training they want, but I know how to do this. I did it for so many hours, actually in court at the bench arguing with other attorneys (and I’m actually a full-blown attorney this time instead of a law student with a 711 license). I know I can do this. I just have to make it happen. If you’re the praying type if you could send me prayers for this (10 am central time tomorrow) or if not prayers any good vibes would be very much appreciated. I got this, I know I do, I just have to make it happen now. And with that I am going to get some sleep. Goodnight friends. Hope your day was as good as mine.

[canaryatlaw]

alright. well today was fine. I slept until my 1:15 pm alarm went off, probably because it was like 2:55 by the time I actually got to bed last night, but oh well. I had my PT appointment for 2, so I got ready and was going to catch the bus set for 1:46, but then I had to cross the intersection at an inopportune time to make sure I got two pieces of mail in the mailbox, and ended up missing the bus by about 30 seconds, but it was fine because I had enough time to just walk anyway. I should probably give up on the bus method altogether when it really isn’t very far anyway, probably just like 8 blocks or so. So I got there on time, it was fine, I feel like I’m going to end up disappointing my new PT guy because he seemed super optimistic about making progress at first and like, I was not as optimistic lol and nothing’s really changed yet, so idk what he’s thinking. but it was good, I should still probably say something about the exercises, especially given how weak I’ve been proving myself to be lately when it comes to carrying things, so the exercises I’m doing should really be challenging ones. And I should do better about doing home exercises, because I really suck at those at the moment. So that was fine. Walked back afterwards and spent a while building a grocery list based off what was in the fridge and the pantry, and also on some recipes I’d like to make over the next couple of days since I’ll have free time, just stocking up on good ingredients to have on hand for baking and such. I think I’m gonna make caramels at some point soon, it’s been like, a year since I’ve made them lol and they were getting really good. this probably took about an hour, after which I grabbed my cart and walked down to the store. Shopping was fine, I had been really wanting to make a strawberry milkshake lately but was worried it’d be really unhealthy (being that milkshakes are generally like 700 calories) so I was like oh well what if I get some protein powder and if I mix it with like strawberries and ice cream and milk maybe it won’t suck??? so I got some that looked like it might be bearable. I grabbed a piece of flank steak because I wanted to make a beef and broccoli meal at some point, and the piece I got looked fine but the one next to it was starting to turn bad it was really nasty looking.....so I’m definitely going to use mine soon, probably tomorrow lol. I also wanted to get an extract of some sort to use for meringues, because the recipe I used last time came out really well in terms of crunchy and chewy ness, but pretty much just taste like powdered sugar, and the recipe said you can sub in another extract for the vanilla, so I thought I’d look at some alternatives. lots of interesting flavors of extract and such they sell (they legit had a pumpkin spice flavor, lol) but I ended up going with raspberry because I thought that sounded like a good choice. So I got everything and went to check out. There were two people ahead of me on line, an older lady right in front of me and a middle aged lady in front of her. the one at the front had quite the grocery load, and the older lady was like “you buying for a crowd?” and she was like “yes, I have three boys” and then the older lady started talking about her daughter and they talked about their kids and the older lady was saying she was thinking about moving closer to where her daughter was because she missed her and the front lady was like “you should do it, go be by the people who matter to you, that’s what’s most important” and I was really just watching this unfold while thinking about my family who left yesterday and what I’m thinking or hoping or planning for the future. My parents miss me a lot, that much is very clear, and I can’t really blame them, 3 out of 4 kids have never left the house, then there’s me who moved halfway across the country. And I love my family, of course, but I know living with them (mostly living with my brothers) can be bad for my mental health, and I’m in a fairly good state at this point and would not want to mess that up. And I mean, straight up moving back in with them is not really on the table at this point, if I go for the NY job I’d probably be there for the month of July while I do bar prep, but then after the bar I’d assumedly be moving to NYC because there’s no way I’m commuting every single day, and that much I’ve been very explicit about. But I keep coming back to thinking is that really what I want to do? I thought it was, but I’m not sure anymore.....but I’m also not sure if I want to stay here anymore. My emotions have kind of been in upheaval for the past month or so and it’s left me at a point where if I stay here I can’t really predict what my life would be like, and that worries me. sigh, I feel like I come on here and have the same conversation about all of this every night. still nothing on the email front, of course, as I continue to check each day. Sigh. Anyway. I checked out and managed to fit everything inside my cart (when I’m going shopping I’m always concerned I’m going to not be able to fit it all) besides my eggs, which I just carried which was fine. Got home, put the stuff away, and sat at the computer for a bit, and I think it was at this point where I checked to see if grades were posted, and I had a bit of a feeling it was going to be something this time, and I was right- as expected, my legal drafting grade was posted first since the assignments have all already been graded and there was no exam (and it really should’ve been posted sooner than this, but whatever), so there it was, a beautiful B+ in this class that has caused my so much anxiety and fear that I was going to flunk fucking child advocacy legal drafting, the class I should’ve fucking CALI’ed, but was instead thrown into turmoil because the prof hated my writing. I knew I was able to pull it out in the end, but the final is only half our grade, and since I had been getting like, 50% on the other assignments, I was concerned my grade was going to come out to like 75% (47 out of 50 points from the final, then about half of the remaining 50 points, coming out to like 75) which is still like, a C, and I’d very much like to not have any C’s on my transcript, and I didn’t know how this was going to turn out, so it ending in a B+ made me quite happy. I’ve been trying not to add any more B’s to my transcript because I don’t like them (I have two currently), and then 3 B+’s, and the rest are A’s and A-’s, which of course I’m fine with. So I was pleased with this. I have anxious thoughts in my head about yeah but what if you fucked up your civil rights final because you didn’t have the cases printed, but I know that’s bullshit because I can tell when I’m killing it on a test, and I very much felt that I was killing it, even if I didn’t have all the information I should’ve. I feel like I’m gonna end up with an A-, which I would have wanted to be an A, but I can obviously live with it. Remedies I’m not at all concerned with, the entire grade is based on the final and I know I killed it, it’s just going to be a matter of where everyone else falls on the curve, and that can be hard to predict when your grade isn’t actually based on the objective number of questions you got right but on how many everyone else got right, but I’m fairly confident I’ll end up with a good grade. That just leaves Secured Transactions of course, which may have been eclipsed by Legal Drafting at some point as my most worried about class, but it’s still been one I’ve been anxious about. I felt like I had a fairly good handle on the final, as least for not knowing any of the material a week before and shoving it all in my mind that week, but of course that’s also hard to judge because curve and such. If I can pull at least a B+ out of the class I’ll be satisfied. If I end up with a B I’ll be disappointed, but not really that upset about it. If I get lower than that I will be straight up pissed, but hopefully that will not happen lol. Anyway. I spent a little while longer on the computer before deciding to make a blueberry dutch baby for dinner again because I’m low key obsessed with them, so I did that and then got ready to watch The Flash. Not terribly impressed with this week’s episode, it very much felt like a filler episode that didn’t do much to advance the plot other than occupy time before the main climax comes in the finale next week. All the flash time stuff I really didn’t find very interesting, and idk what they’re trying to do with Caitlin and her apparently having meta abilities before the particle accelerator?? like that more or less just sounds like psychosis, and I don’t think that’s what they’re going for. So I guess we’ll see what they do next week, hopefully they’ll at least pull out a decent finale. Overall though I was pretty disappointed by this season, I don’t know what happened but they just really missed the mark. After the episode I forgot for about 2 minutes that Rise was on right afterwards, then switched over to them for their season/series finale. It really sucks that they didn’t get picked up for a second season because I think it had a lot of potential and some very strong storylines I would’ve liked to have seen carried into the next season. I very much dislike that it was now left with “we’re shutting down the drama department” and like, that’s just it, there’s no fixing it, the end of the show is them shutting it down, and like.....that is not a happy ending lol, I’m not sure how they felt about whether they’d get renewed or not but it was a peculiar note to end on. Not gonna lie, I loved teacher dude (whatever his M last name is) basically being like fuck it, let’s put on this whole damn production as explicit as it is because art is art and it deserves to be heard, even when it’s offensive (and as someone who’s seen this particular show on broadway, it’s explicitness is incredibly crucial to the powerful message it conveys). I understand of course why they still decided to do “totally eff’d” and just end it with “totally fucked” because there’s only so far you can toe the line lol. I probably have overly strong feelings on this particular subject, but Lilette’s mom is irresponsible and neglectful and you could make the argument she is even being abusive by forcing Lilette into the role of being responsible for parenting her, which is a recognized phenomena among child welfare behaviors. So obviously I was not terribly keen on that. And Maashous (definitely just checked imdb to make sure I spelled it correctly, and I did), which I’m so sad we don’t get to see more of his story, because there was so much there to explore. but with teacher guy’s daughter obviously being so emotionally compromised over this and just seeing him with the family, man, that’s hard hitting stuff. The show did a lot things right that Glee got wrong, but I guess in the end it just didn’t have the wider appeal Glee did. I’m sad for Auli’i (just checked again on the spelling and I did get it right) because she’s obviously so ridiculously talented and it sucks for a project she’s attached to to get chopped, but I’m sure she has many opportunities in her future. So yeah, lots of different feels there. During one of the commercial breaks the upcoming news advertising said something about a story on at 10 regarding Justin Hartley and a bad fan encounter in Chicago, so I wanted to watch that, but had an hour to kill, so I watched some of The Good Place, and decided it was a good time to try out my strawberry milkshake idea, so I got the strawberries, vanilla ice cream and milk in the blender, and added two scoops of protein powder, which was the recommended dosage. Set it to go and tasted it and it was a big NOPE you can totally taste literally all of it, so I added more strawberries and ice cream to try and help but it didn't work so I ended up having to toss the whole thing which was disappointing, and now I wanted a strawberry milkshake, so I just ended up making a normal one.  At ten I tuned back to the news. the preview was basically like “he had a bad encounter at a Chicago restaurant” and then when they did the actual “story” it was like 30 seconds, basically just saying he was “in town for a convention” (so C2E2 obviously) and was at a restaurant when a fan just like, came up to him and started kissing him????? lol, um, that’s cringey, but they didn’t give any other details or like even name the restaurant so that was kind of lame, but whatever. I watched Jimmy Kimmel, then Seth Meyers while I was waiting for my roommate to get out of the shower. Once she did I started getting ready for bed and now I’m here. Trying to think if there was anything else I wanted to say....nothing formal to do tomorrow other than watch the Riverdale season finale I guess (not like I’m terribly interested in that) so I’ll hopefully finish up cleaning my room and maybe sort through my entire wardrobe and divide it into the categories of currently in my dresser, in storage, and for donation, because I have way too much clothing that doesn’t fit me or I don’t like anymore that I could definitely get rid of. So we’ll see how that goes, hopefully it’ll be productive but I’m also able to get some relaxation in, since this is my one week to relax before bar prep starts, and I have to start at the DV clinic on Friday anyway. But yeah, I think that’s for now. Goodnight babes. Sleep peacefully.