#IDK IF IT WILL GET U GUYS IN UR FEELINGS TOO COS IDK WHAT UR STYLE OF ROMANCE IS BUT THIS HAS GIVEN BRAIN ROT

[melkintoyou]

Strawberry Sorbet

pairing: mark x reader

genre: plug!mark, we have graduated from stoner!mark to plug!mark thanks to @markonthemoon, honestly a lot of fluff, smut, weed mentions and use

word count: 3,704

Pulling your jacket over your head, you ran to Mark’s car in your fluffy slides. You slid into the already-adjusted passenger seat to your liking and leaned in to hug him. “Greetings” you grabbed the back of his neck, letting your nails lightly graze his skin as you held him in embrace.

“You good?” He licks his lips, before taking a sip of his juice for his cotton mouth.

“Yeah, how you doing?” You both smile, instinctively. Every time you guys are together, all you can both do is smile. The shy glances exchanged, the extra effort in casual banter just to see each other laugh. You both are crushing on each other hard but neither of you want to admit it.

You met Mark a couple months ago, at a party, through a mutual friend. There was an instant connection when he joined into your discussion, abruptly. He challenged your opinion, which is something you’re not used to. “Ouch! If guys who make music are fuckboys then maybe women who are into musicians are haters!” His delivery was playful which made you want to bicker with him.

“Yo? Who invited this guy?!” You said pointing at him as everyone broke into laughter. You both introduced yourselves and continued the discussion for a while. Soon, you both settled outside, smoking a joint and he showed you the games on his phone. Ever since that night, you guys have been hanging out socially and you’ve been picking up from Mark. It has been so nice to find a plug in your social circle. It makes you less anxious not having to call random numbers and not knowing what to expect.

So tonight was no different when you got in his car to pick up some weed. As always, he had rolled you a little something in his special pink paper, with magenta hearts on it. “Let’s go smoke this and then I’ll drop you home, yeah?” He smiled, coyly before putting the car into gear and pulling out of your street.

Mark drove for a bit before parking near a canal and he passed you his lighter. “Would you be so kind and do the honours?” He teased and opened his hands in his lap. Motioning you to bring your feet to his lap so he can rub them. You lit the joint and took your first pull. “So, how was your day?” He asked and listened intently, as always. He leaned back in his seat, resting his head. The way the moon lit the outlines of his features, made him look angelic. His eyes were focused on you as his hands rubbed your feet. You told him about work and university drama and he contributed with facial expressions and giggling with you.

“Girl.” You’d say in one tone.

“Girl.” He’d say in another.

You both passed the joint between you both and talked about your day. The conversation flowed from, life to movies to music and then you both fell in a comfortable silence. Looking at the bright, silver moon reflecting on the water whilst Mark continued to rub your feet. His touch was innocent and gentle. You felt his gaze slowly shift from the water to you and your face felt hot. You wanted to turn your face and catch his big beautiful eyes but you felt so shy. Not knowing what your feelings for him meant, made your heart beat faster.

“Hey” He whispered, “look at me.” Sincerity in his voice left chills down your back.

“I’m really glad I met you. You’re my guy, my dude.” He said and you chuckled, turning your face to look at him.

“I’m really glad I met you too... dude.” You stuck out your pinky finger and Mark already knew the cue. He took your finger into his pinky and transitioned into a handshake. A month ago, Mark started giving you a little extra in the bags and he made you pinky promise not to tell anyone or that it would ruin his “street cred.” So you both came up with a handshake shared between just the two of you. That’s how life had started to feel for the past couple weeks. An inside joke shared between two souls. Were you falling for him?

“Alright!” He propped as you retrieved your feet back into your slides. “Let’s get you home, bab- dUDE” Mark panicked and cleared his throat. You opened your mouth to speak but he turned the volume of the music up and started driving once again.

“See I woke up having a bad dayy.. And I gotta get the dollar any fast way..”

He sang along to Way Back Home by Cordae and you took it as a prompt to not mention his slip up. So you sang along with him. Rolling down the window, the breeze felt nice on your skin. The warm yellow street lights lit up the blue atmosphere and it made everything feel like a Van Gogh painting. You couldn’t figure out if you had always seen life from such a romantic lens or was it just recently starting to feel more pink and purple. You looked at Mark, once again, taking in his features. Eyes trailing from his messy black hair, to his glasses, his Adam’s apple and how much you wanted to place a kiss on it to see his reaction. Your stare landed at his lips and you felt your own mouth slightly part. You thought about how his lips would feel pressed against yours in urgency. How his mouth would taste, if he would use his tongue straight away or wait a little? Would the kiss be rushed or would he take his time? Your mind went in loops and you swallowed as you felt yourself salivate at the thought. Shit. Maybe, you do like him.

Before you knew it, you were pulled outside your house once again but not a single atom in your body wanted to leave Mark. He turned to you again, smiling and opened the dashboard. Pulling out a package, he handed it to you. “Here you are.. and there’s a lil something extra. just like always but shh.” He handed you an A5 sized package. It was bigger than the usual extra but you decided to not question it. “Ok so, this is Strawberry Sorbet. I think you’re gonna like it. It’s gonna help your cramps and give you tingly feelings.. you know the kind you get when you see me?” He wiggled his eyebrows, earning a smack on the arm from you. He chucked, before continuing. “Nah but forreal, it’s really smooth as well. It’s a hybrid and kinda has like uhh.. a sweet candy-like flavour.. and DUDE. It slows down time SO much, its crazy. But uhm.. yeah, I hope you enjoy it.” He scratched the back of his head, realising that he might be talking too much but he relaxed when his eyes met your eyes, which were only focused on him. What was in the air tonight?

“Ugh dude, thank you so much. You are the best. Please let me know when you get home.” You gave him another hug, this time a bit shy-er than the first one. You felt your cheeks feel hot as Mark put his arms around you and give you a slight squeeze.

“Please, the streets should be scared that I’m not home yet.” He joked which made you roll your eyes.

“I’m being serious, Mark. Text me, okay?” You get out the car and lean in through the passenger window.

“Yes boss.” He raised his eye brow and smiled, playfully flirting with you.

“Okay, good.” And with that, he drove off. ________________________________________________________________________________

Dropping your keys in the bowl near your entrance, you walked back into your much warmer apartment, compared to the outside. You made your way to your bedroom and plopped yourself on the bed.

Wondering why the package is so big, you carefully opened it with excitement. You saw that he had your usual baggie in there but also a piece of paper. Confused, you pulled out the paper first, disregarding the weed. You hand flew to your mouth and you gasped, looking at the paper. Mark had drew an illustration of you with his copic markers. You always knew Mark was this skater guy, who liked to tag places with this friends but you never knew that he drew like this. You felt your stomach in knots as heat rose from your core, up to your cheeks, covering your entire face.

This. Fucking. Guy.

You thought to yourself and smiled. Your eyes trailed further along the paper to find a couple lines at the bottom, comparing you to a summer’s day with Mark’s own twist on it. “Nerd” You whispered to yourself, giggling. You felt your phone buzz and you jumped to pick it up. ____________________________________________

Mark 10:05 pm

home. the streets are safe now.

Y/N 10:05 pm

*attached pic* excuse me? what is thissssss?

Mark 10:06 pm

Looool Idk what you talking about :)

Y/N 10:06 pm

you nerd. I never knew you drew so well.

Mark 10:06 pm

you like it? hahaha

Y/N 10:06 pm

I love it

Y/N 10:07 pm

the poem too? where have you been hiding all this talent?

Mark 10:09 pm

shhh.

Mark 10:09 pm

It make you smile?

Y/N 10:09 pm

Yes....

Mark 10:10 pm

good.

____________________________________________

Throwing your phone, on the bed you fell back into your pillows and squealed into your hands like a love struck teenager. Ok. You definitely have feelings for him.

That night, neither of you could sleep. Mark felt nervous about his bold move and you felt giddy about your feelings. After a couple of hours of tossing and turning, your phone buzzed again. This time, it was a phone call.

“Sorry, who’s this?” You answer the phone jokingly.

“Ha Ha, very funny, asshole.” Mark dead panned, making you laugh. “Why you still up?” He asked softly.

“Dunno..”

“You can’t sleep either huh?” You could hear him smile through the phone and you bit your lip.

“So.. uhh.. you really like the drawing?”

“Dude, I love it. How do you know my face so well?” You exclaimed.

“Uhhmm.. I guess, I just know your face.. It’s a nice face.” Mark was being coy, yet again.

“Oh” You felt the shy spread from the phone and into you.

“I uh.. like your face.. I.. think uhm.. I.. like you” He mumbled, almost incoherently but you caught it. You both held your breath in anticipation of your reaction. You could feel your heart in your ears and your smile so wide, your cheeks started to hurt.

“You like me?”

“Don’t make me say it again.”

“I guess, you’re okay too Mark.” You teased him playfully.

“Woooow” He acted fake hurt.

“Come say it to my face, if you not pussy.” You suddenly felt a wave of confidence take over you.

“Oh yeah? Bet. Be there in 15.” And before you could tell him you’re joking, he hung up the phone.

____________________________________________

Mark showed up at your door in exactly 15 minutes. You opened the door, staggering a little from being nervous. “Hi” You said with a smile.

“Hi” he walked in and you both stood there, in awkward silence. Not knowing what to say or how to stand, you both felt super nervous.

“You wanna uh.. go sit on the sofa?” You offered, walking over to the living room and Mark followed. You both sat comically far from each other, with body language stiff. Looking around the room, you tried to find something to make small talk about. As you opened your mouth to speak, so did Mark and you both cut each other off. The awkwardness was killing you. You both laughed a little.

“You go” You turn to finally face him.

“I was just gonna say um.. if you wanted to try the strain I got for you today.. but urm I mean.. we don’t have to.. only if you want to.. you know, whatever is cool with me” Mark rambled on as you nodded and got up to get the baggie.

Walking back in to the living room, he looked up at you. Eyeing you in your shorts and a baggy t- shirt. “And come sit next to me.” He patted his hand beside him and you sunk into the sofa.

Mark put his arm around you and used his other hand to lift up your chin to look at him. His eyes were soft yet intense. You had never seen this look in his face before and it made you feel dizzy.

“Hey you..” He smiled.

Mark wasted no time before taking your lips into his. All the air came out of your lungs and you melted into his touch. His lips were soft and tasted like strawberry candy. He moved his lips against yours, painfully slow before pulling back to look at you. “Hi” He pecked your lips and smiled. Leaning his head to the other side, he kissed you again, this time, a little harder. His hand moved from under your chin, to under your ear as he held your face and traced his tongue against your mouth. You opened your mouth some more, letting out a sigh into his mouth which went straight to his dick and he pushed his tongue in further, deepening the kiss. You both got lost in the kiss for a while there before pulling away and smiling at one another as if you’re already high. Even though, your lips were now disconnected. Your eyes stayed fixed on one another.

“You have really long lashes..” You said matter of factly, making Mark laugh.

“And you like me back” Nothing could stop you both from smiling like idiots at one another. It felt as if, nothing else mattered in this moment.

“I do.. I do...” You left another peck, not being able to get enough of him. Mark pulled his arm from over you to dig through his pocket. He pulled out the special pink papers and handed them to you to roll one.

____________________________________________

The room felt like it was slowly spinning into you, a vortex of your feelings towards mark floated around you and time came to a halt. Your heart grew ten sizes that night, beating outside of your being, covering the entire room. You wanted to absorb him into your heart. The only way to express this to him was to have him inside you. Thinking about it, you felt your underwear pool and you moaned into Mark’s mouth. He squeezed your thigh tighter as a response, which brought you back to this room. On this sofa. On his lap. Tongue in his mouth. It was only then you realised, how time became warped from when you started smoking and Mark pulled you in for another kiss. Everything had been a blur since then. All you could focus on was how in such a short amount of time, this boy had become so dear to you.

Mark’s hands went to your ass to give it a handful squeeze and he got up picking you up with him. He pecked your lips once again.

“Hi baby” he smiled, taking in your features in awe.

“You okay?”

“Hi” you cheesed back at him, pecking his nose in response. “Of course.”

Mark carried you over to the bed and laid you down gently. Moving your hair out of your face, he hovered over you.

“God, you’re so beautiful” his ran his index finger along the side of your cheek.

“From the day I met you dude, I knew I was gonna like you.” He kissed you all over your face, filling the space with your giggles.

“Gonna make you my girl.” His lips, once again, crashed down into yours and he settled between your legs. You could feel him on your thigh and it drove you crazy. Adding to your arousal, he slowly grinded into you. He held your waist, before slipping his hands inside your shirt and squeezed one of your breast, lighting pinching your nipples in between his fingers. You swore you could’ve came right then. He lifted your t-shirt up to admire your body further. His eyes hung low from the weed and his mouth slightly parted. He smiled.

“Dang! They are so beautiful. Nice to meet you.” He left kisses along your breast, making you giggle and feel more comfortable.

Mid-giggle, your breath got caught in your throat when Mark licked a stripe between your chest, taking your nipple in his mouth. The shock made you arch your back and run your fingers through his hair before grabbing it. You let out a moan and felt Mark smirk against your skin.

Working his way down to your body, he took your shorts off. Coming face to face with your absolutely dampened underwear, Mark’s light hearted expression changed.

“Your panties.. are ruined” His voice, barely a whisper.

You felt a shift in the atmosphere. The air became heavy and thick with lust. You felt yourself clench around nothing when Mark pressed his thumb into your heat to check if this was real life. His eyes a little wider, and breath heavier. Mark wasted no time as he used his index finger to slide your panties to the side.

“Oh hi” his voice cracked a little, indicating that he was trying very hard to keep things light- hearted but his head was also spinning from the lust. He needed you.

“Baby?” He looked up at you with a glint in his eyes.

“Yeah?” You asked, rubbing head lovingly.

“Can I eat it baby?”

All you could do was nod and Mark didn’t need to be told twice. He dove right in with his tongue, kissing your pussy all over. He settled on the clit, making you move your thighs on his shoulders.

Mark took that as a sign to grab you harder and he moved his face in a zig-zag motion in your pussy. With every moan, Mark moaned with you.

“Mm?”

“Does it feel good?”

He was absorbed in the act and it was now his turn to feel a vortex of his feelings slowly fade into him, from outside of him. The vibrations from his moan were only sending you over the edge and then he slipped his fingers inside you. You grabbed his hair again, letting him know he’s doing good. Mark was so focused, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open. He was studying your reactions to the different movements of his fingers. His eyes going from your face to your pussy and how it was sucking in his fingers. Mark felt entranced.

He was aching inside his sweats as he felt you cum on his tongue. Legs shaking around his head, hands grabbing at his hair for some sort of support. He took his other hand to find yours and interlocked his fingers with yours. Even though, you had came. Mark did not take a second to let you catch your breath as he carried on, making you cum twice more. He felt like he could’ve stayed in there forever. He was drunk of your taste and smell. Time was still warped for the both of you. It ceased to exist.

And when Mark was finally inside you. Both of you felt as though you have sunken into a cloud. With each thrust, you kept sinking, deeper and deeper. Going lower, and lower. The room was filled with your moans and the sound of how wet you were. You don’t think you legs ever stopped shaking from he first time, they had done that. “Oh my god, you feel so good.” Mark managed to get some words out, after a long time of scrunched up faces and moans. Mark felt like he was losing his mind. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw stars. You wrapped your legs around him and his movement staggered. “Wait.. wait.. you gonna make me cum like this.. turn over for me.” He placed a kiss on your cheek.

Now laying on your stomach, Mark slid into you once again. Immediately, realising that changing positions might have made things worse when he felt your ass cushion his thrusts, he fell onto your back and lightly bit your shoulder. Mark pounded into you with force, accepting his fate of climaxing very soon. His hand snaked onto your throat as he guided your head back so he could kiss you again. He lightly squeezed your throat as he pounded into you. Moans and curse words flew from both of your mouths and you felt him throb inside you. The movement, hitting your spot perfectly, made your legs shake once last time as you came around him and you swore Mark almost growled in your ear.

“Baby.. you’re pu..pushing me out.. ugh.. feels..s o.. good.” It wasn’t long before, he also came to his climax and pulled out, finishing all over your ass.

He collapsed on the side next to you as you both caught your breath and settled into giddy giggles again. “That felt like 10 years and 2 seconds, all at the same time.” You say, out of breath.

You were both so infatuated with one another. It was disgusting.

“Lemme get you a towel babe.” Mark groaned before getting up and walking over to the bathroom.

You admired his naked frame from the back. His muscly back and toned ass. He was sculpted by the gods and you just had this man moaning into your mouth. The thought of that made your core tingle again, confirming that this was only the first round of tonight.

“So.. Shakespeare, huh?” You called out to Mark from the bed, referring to his poem.

“Oh, he is the OG man.” You heard the water shut and he shouted back.

Walking back into the room in all his glory, now from the front. You admired him. “If you’re good, I’ll show you my stuff sometime.” He sank onto the bed and wiped your butt with the warm towel.

[heartmaddie]

cough

[lateatnewyork]

REMEMBER…

charlie bushnell x co star!reader

warnings: smau, fluff, brown girl reader (aware this isn’t a warning but like some ppl might want to know)

summary: where you and charlie trick the world into thinking your just friends

fc: avantika (my bby)

extra info: reader is basically avantika

a/n i have like 20 million drafts but i don’t have the motivation 😭 anyway i love avantika i feel proud to be a brown girl😻 !! NOT SHIPPING THEM IRL JS A FACECLAIM !!

liked by dior.n.goodjohn, leahsavajeffries and others ynln remember when we dated 🤔 view comments

user78 …did i miss a chapter?? hearts4yn only true yn and charlie fans get it ➔ ynln 😘 iamcharliebushnell ur confusing the people ➔ ynln it’s my job to do this aryansimhadri 🤫🧏‍♀️ ➔ ynln GET OUT. walkerscobell lowkey why does charlie eat up the jacket tho ➔ ynln WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL HIM dior.n.goodjohn who’s that hottie in the first pic 😻 ➔ ynln idk man who’s that hottie in ur pfp ➔ i.am.andrewalvarez charlie get ur girl man this comment is now deleted ynloml loved them since doafp liked by creator

liked by iamcharliebushnell, reneerapp and others ynln when u have to feed two teen boys 😓 view comments

hearts4yn WHOS THE GUY IN THE MIDDLE ➔ user64 calm down it’s prolly js one of her friends aryansimhadri wdym by the caption ➔ ynln i mean u both eat for ten men ➔ aryansimhadri it’s not my fault it was good walkerscobell the food was a bit spicy ➔ leahsavajeffries no it wasn’t ➔ iamcharliebushnell nuh uh ➔ aryansimhadri wdym it was great ➔ i.am.andrewalvarez no. ynloml not walkers whiteness coming out 😭 ➔ ynln fr

liked by ynln, iamcharliebushnell and others teenvogue read the newest article on all about YN LN’s life from the growing rumours of her supposed character in the Percy Jackson show to the whispers of her boyfriend comments are closed

liked by ynln, dior.n.goodjohn and others iamcharliebushnell when she turned me into a taylana stan view comments

ynloml yk who’s the biggest taylana stan? yn. ➔ ynln real 💯 dior.n.goodjohn i think she turned everyone into one ➔ walkerscobell she threatened me 😞 ➔ aryansimhadri i made her a laufey fan ➔ leahsavajeffries pretty sure she was a laufey fan before u ynln your welcome for blessing ur ears. ➔ iamcharliebushnell thank you?

liked by iamcharliebushnell, aryansimhadri and others ynln not my cat photobombing the first pic 😭 view comments

ynloml THE HOLY TRINITY laufeymywife taylana + laufey 😻 user56 shes a ten but she listens to taylana and laufey ➔ iamcharliebushnell she broke my scale cos she’s too beautiful dior.n.goodjohn ur cats got good taste ➔ ynln real! ➔ iamcharliebushnell they def got it from me aryansimhadri FAV SONG FROM BEWITCHED ➔ ynln THIS IS TOO HARD UMMMM MUST BE LOVE childofhecate charlie is a certified simp 😭 ➔ i.am.andrewalvarez 💯

liked by taylorswift, sabrinacarpenter and others ynln me and the gang 🗣️ 💯 🔥 view comments

hearts4yn the most unexpected group ever??? selenagomez please send me that picture of laufey ynloml the mothers and their daughters aryansimhadri YOU HUNG OUT WITH THE LAUFEY AND DIDNT TELL ME???? ➔ ynln I GOT U A SIGNED VINYL ??? iamcharliebushnell middle pic. ➔ ynismywife he’s down bad walkerscobell no way u casually took a pic of the taylor swift oliviarodrigo 😍 ➔ ynln join us next time bby reneerapp hottest group ever leahsavajeffries CUTIESSS ➔ ynln THEY WANNA MEET UUUUUU gracieabrams 🤭 ➔ ynln yo can i have my cat back ➔ gracieabrams no. i.am.andrewalvarez help charlie won’t stop staring at his phone ➔ ynln take a pic!

liked by ynln, walkerscobell and others iamcharliebushnell she took these photos if u care view comments

pjofan WE CARE hearts4yn ADORABLE walkerscobell grandpa charlie ynln she’s rlly good at taking pics u sure she isn’t a professional??? ➔ iamcharliebushnell nah she’s an actor aryansimhadri pls save me he won’t stop talking abt her 😭 ynloml WHO ISSSS IT dior.n.goodjohn stop shes mine ➔ iamcharliebushnell whatever u say… leahsavajeffries SHIPPP

liked by meangirls, chrisbriney and others ynln u wanna do something fun? u wanna go watch the new mean girls movie view comments

iamcharliebushnell yes. walkerscobell i have a burn book. ➔ aryansimhadri ok dude what the flip leenascobell UR SO BBG ➔ ynln nuh uh you r dior.n.goodjohn AHHHHHHH ➔ ynln AHHHHHHHHHH

a/n next part will be up soon

[notdysfunk]

Alright, work was very slow today so I had a lot of time to make a lot of assumptions about your boy. Here goes:

He knows the basics of sewing. This has made him the main guy the kids run to when a plush toy gets ripped or a button on a jacket comes off.

Even though he looks like he'd drink coffee (if he could drink) I imagine he actually prefers a nice herbal tea.

Is a loner, so all his friends had to initiate the friendship. He's aware of this and worries that if he were to lose any of them, he wouldn't be able to easily find another.

Really good at side-eyeing.

Doesn't like when people call him Cal.

Can't dance and isn't interested in learning, but if he had to, he'd probably want to learn something elegant and smooth rather than anything bouncy (don't ask me what specific dance he'd want to learn because I don't know anything about dancing lol)

Doesn't mess with things he doesn't understand. If a new machine is installed he wants to know what it is, what it does, and how exactly to work it before he so much as touches it.

Not a great hugger tbh. If he saw someone open their arms to hug him he'd proabably open his arms defensively and back away (or just ouright tell them he doesn't want a hug). If he does actually get hugged he just goes stiff as a board, maybe he'll give the hugger an awkward pat on the back if he likes them tho.

Really good at cooking eggs??? I don't know why but I just feel like he'd be really good at cooking eggs! Maybe I'm just hungry idk. I'll let you know if I come up with any more.

ALRIGHT LETS DO THIS, I LOVE ALL OF THESE IDEAS HEHE Lemme tell u if ur right or wrong mwehehe 1. Actually, no! @end3rf0x's Accimer and @kh0well's Tilaa are the only two who really could do a good job of sewing. In later eras of the story, Callisto actually bonds with Accimer by asking him to sew up a hole in his coat. 2. He doesn't drink often, but I imagine he'd be down for both! 3. Yes! He's my angsty boy, when he arrived at the Fazology Plex, he was NOT down to clown. He had lost the only person he knew, and was terrified to lose anyone else- and thus he didn't make any effort to get closer to anyone. Tilaa, serving as a motherly figure, was one of the first to get him to crack. Myrtus, Accimer, Pluto where a co-workers-to-friends line quickly after 4. LOL?? PROBABLY 5. I often call him Calli, and Myrtus calls him Callico sometimes. But yeah, he wouldn't like just "Cal" 6. Hmmm? I imagine he's not a very good jig-dancer. He'd learn a ballroom dance for the sake of his partner, but yeah he just kinda... shimmies if asked to groove. 7. This one's really interesting, I'm not sure? In a wild attempt to get someone back from his past, he has tampered with all kinds of technology and wires- He was pretty reckless then, maybe he's a little more careful now 8. THIS DEPENDS!! If it's someone he isn't super close with, i.e. a human coworker, yea he's very awkward about it. One of the kiddos? He'd give the best hugs, his plush coat would make it so soft. And if it were someone he's soft for, Myrtus, Pluto, Accimer, Tilaa? He's likely have a pretty good cradling-back-of-head hug. His hug for people like that would likely be pretty solid, it'd likely feel for him as if a loose grip would cause him to lose them too... 9. LOL MAYBE? Never even thought about him cooking- but since I like fried eggs I'll say yes oops almost forgor lemme toss this little picture of him on here

[nightcolorz]

here are some questions I would ask at the San Diego Iwtv comic con panel if I was going to go there and also if I was fucked up horrible person

How do you get Assad Zaman’s honkers to not pop out of his shirt all the time? It seems like they are unnoticeable in some scenes but practically taking up the whole screen in others. Does he wear a binder?

Question for Sam Reid. On a scale of one to ten how hard was it to forgive Rollin Jones for his crimes against Lestat in s1?

Jacob Anderson? Will Louis be covered in cob webs and grime (as per book canon) in season 3? If not, why did the cuck writers decide to remove this essential part of Louis’s character? (That he is always covered in dirt and grime to the point where the characters brave enough to fuck him affectionately refer to him as dusty)

Question for Eric Burger idk how to spell ur last name, does it make u uncomfortable that the fandom always talks about how they want to see u get fucked or are u used to it by now?

Question for everybody, have you ever tried to explore the fandom? If so describe the most annoying tumblr blog or twitter account you’ve come across with a name drop please

Question for everybody, please describe your sexual orientation to me with personal details about your sex and dating life, if you identify as heterosexual in a boring way pls describe how u feel about having gay sex on screen

Question for Assad Zaman, do you know the tumblr blog nightcolorz and how do u feel about his posts? Would u be willing to go on a date with him preferably with sex?

Question for everyone, which deeply personal flaw do you have most in common with your character? Feel free to trauma dump

Question for Jacob Anderson, what was your LEAST favorite sex scene to film and why? Jacob I’m asking u this cuz if my estimations r correct u film the most sex scenes. Pls be mean to your co stars

Question for everyone, is it hard for you to deliver the really cringe badly written lines that slip in sometimes or are you stronger than me?

Question for Jacob Anderson, when you watch the show do the extremely close up shots of your face as u cry make you self conscious be honest

Question for Assad Zaman, when you read the vampire Armand before any other book in the series did you consider resigning from your role? I would

Question for everyone, do you guys think the eye contacts look stupid because I do they ruin the show sometimes ngl

Question for Luke Brandonfield, why are you always doing that with your face? please stop.

Question for Rollin Jones, do you still identify as straight? If so why do you talk and act like that?

Question for Rollin Jones, have you read the vampire chronicles?

Question for Sam Reid, please address the criticism that your face is too wide to play Lestat. How do you feel about that? For the record I think ur face is an ok shape like it’s fine imo

Question for everyone, if you had to choose, who is your favorite vampire chronicles character who is canonically revealed to be a sexual predator?

Question for Assad Zaman, are you single?

[lilpotatjj]

Imagine the reader has an acting job on a film and finds out that they are going to be working with Bella ramsey (who they have had a crush on for ages) and then meets Bella snd finds out that they basically both like each other. Then, after shooting they both go to Bella’s house and have s*x but it’s the readers first time with a girl!

A/N: writing readers first time with a girl is rly cute. I also don't have any experience in making out with a girl. I just wish I could tell my Co Worker, which funfact looks a lot like Bella,that I really like her...welp Idk🤣 sooooo...hope you like it and thank u for ur request sweety <33

Warning: Scissoring, pet names, fingering, Bella being waaay to cute, fluff, kissing. so if u don't wanna read that filthy smut feel free to ignore😇

Wordcount: 1,3k

Proofread: nope (only had 30min to write that lol)

Masterlist

♡Crazy feelings♡ (18+)

Lying in bed with someone you never thought you would ever talk to. Naked.....to each other and completely caught off guard.

Yup...

You...

You and...bella?

You and bella!

Yes. It wasn't planned to end like this. But when is anything ever planned?

You are dead tired because it is the middle of the night. A new co-worker is about to arrive, with whom you have a few scenes together. You sip your 5th coffee and spit it right back out when you see who's coming on set.

The Lady of Bear Island, but she is all grown up.

Bella Ramsey is your partner for the rest of the shooting? That's a joke....but you don't feel like laughing because she's what's called an addict. For years now you've been following her projects and trying to stay on top of them.

"Morning" she says, cuddling everyone she already knows. To those she sees for the first time she shakes hands a bit shyly.

"Haah...?" The only thing that comes out of your mouth as Bella shakes your hand. Really?

Get a grip Y/N

"Oh agh..sorry I'm Y/N, nice to finally meet you in person! I mean here on set!" You're totally flummoxed and look down in embarrassment. Bella has to laugh lightly...another one of her super cute giggles.

Shit...now you have to stay calm while working too. This will be pretty hard.

"You're cute" she says dryly without batting an eye. Wait what? Eeeeh.....ok. shit starts getting real.

Days go by and you two get along great. You try not to let anything show, but you have to look at her all the time. Bella doesn't miss that and often stares back cheekily.

"What...? Are you my hardcore fan?"

"And if so?" Yup you just said that out loud.

Fuck

Bella stares at you and actually got red cheeks this time. Now she's the speechless one.

"Maybe I would like that" her eyes are only on you now.

"Because of you, I can never think clearly on the set."

"Maybe that was my goal from the beginning..." she comes menacingly close, making your breath catch. She kisses you carefully to test if you want it as much as she does.

You can't believe what's happening here and despite a brief hesitation you go in for her kiss. Damn, she's driving you crazy and your break is about to end.

"You are so damn cute. I've felt that since the first time we met."

"Wow...I wouldn't-..I...Me? I've never thought that" you look at her in amazement and Bella finds it hard to pull herself together.

"Are you ok...?" You look at her worriedly.

"Yes...you are just too cute...I just want to go to my place and spend time with you"

"Ok....I'll handle it" you clarify with the film director that you can get a break for today, as if Bella wouldn't feel well and together you go to Bella.

"It's really nice here" you look around relaxed.

"Yes, thank you. I'm lucky that the location is not far away from set" Bella throws herself on the couch and takes a deep breath. "Do you want to join me?" She looks at you with hopeful eyes.

"Ok...I'd love to" you are a little unsure. You've never done all this with a girl before. There were the last two guys...but they were never serious. Bella seems very sweet so far.

"I don't know how long I've liked you..but you're even better in person. Really sweet and so open. I really really like you" you sit next to her.

Bella smiles her cutest smile as she looks at you happily. This time you come closer to her and try to get your heartbeat under control. You hesitate but Bella carefully closes the gap between you and her soft lips touch yours.

A kiss, as if both of you are afraid to go too far, to let it get out of hand, but there is this desire. It bubbles deep inside you. The curiosity how it is to go further with a girl.

A slight sigh bursts out of you, unintentionally. Bella sets down briefly and kisses you again only to take your face in her hands. More demanding and greedy, Bella's breathing accelerates. She also has difficulty holding back.

"W...wait..." you look at her. "I've never done this with a girl before...I have no idea how it works".

"Ah don't worry there's no manual for that" she giggles and kisses your neck softly and nibbles it here and there. You bite your lower lip and hesitate to let go.

"It's ok...I'll guide you. I'll show you how it's done. And if you want to stop then just say"

Bella means it lovingly serious. You nod and kiss again, this time more lustfully and your adrenaline means it too good for you. You are totally excited.

After all, she's not just any girl, it's Bella. She rubs her hips against your sensitive spot, which makes you moan softly.

"I'm getting undressed ok?" She stands up and undresses one by one, your blood pressure rising rapidly. Damn your breathing is so fast, you'd think you're having a panic attack.

She just kisses you again to calm you down, which also works quite well because the desire for more grows in you.

This time you're the one pushing your hips against Bella.

"let me undress you" she speaks between kisses and you let her do it.

The kiss gets wilder, the feelings completely overwhelming. When you are also undressed, Bella slowly lies down on you, rubs her pussy against yours and you can feel how wet she is already.

Wet sounds can be heard which only drives you even more crazy. Bella which soft moans let you join in and you can't hold back any longer.

"feels...so good..that's crazy..." you're already tingling, realizing far too quickly how you're approaching your climax.

"just let it come to you...it's ok" she kisses you on the neck and shoulder which is enough to make you overshoot the mark too fast. You hide your face while moaning into her shoulder.

"nah you sound so pretty darling"

Almost annoyed that you cum too quickly, you are completely out of breath.

"I'm not done with you yet" you look at her in surprise and startle when she suddenly starts kissing your folds, licking up all your juice. You claw into her hair and tilt your head back, moaning to yourself.

"someone's still electrified" your cunt is still throbbing and every touch of Bella doesn't make it any better.

"I'm going to stick a finger in" She looks up at you and scrutinizes you as she sticks her finger inside you. You moan, completely lost, but you put your hand over your mouth in shock.

"ah come on baby, I want to hear your beautiful voice" she holds still and you press against her finger to absorb even more of the incredible feeling. She moves it slowly and can't help but smile cheekily. "That's a good girl, keep moaning...all just for me"

A second finger penetrates you, which makes the tingling even stronger. She clearly feels how your pussy around your finger clenching.

"I'm so close pleeease...don't stop" you moan almost in desperation.

"Come on baby, come all for me!" her other hand wanders to your chest, caressing it and she accelerating her movements which makes you a moaning mess.

Your cunt pulsates around her fingers as you cum for the second time. when you calm down a little she pulls out her fingers and licks them off.

"thats way better...as with boys" you say out of breath, still shaky.

"sounds good" she smiles playfully cheeky and kisses you tenderly.

"Next time...I wanna make you happy"

"Sure"

"Your to cute I can't believe it"

"Stop it" she looks cheekily.

"Nope, never"

[latibvles]

uhmmmm yo mama? jk idk, talk to me about my wife 😁😁😁😁 ( hi poetttttttttt )

ur so . so very special to me 'lina . bless your heart . i'll give you saloon co-owner june in the western au since ur technically the catalyst for it even existing in the first place.

erm anyways !! been thinking super heavily on June and Benny's lore (because I've been filling in the sibling blanks here and there with the actual guys, which makes me think about backstories, which makes me think about how to apply those backstories in AUs like the western au and frat boys au)

ANYWAAAAAYS they are Not Married when June starts helping him run things and I think it's almost very simplistic and sweet in nature — I think she works for him first, hoping to have some independence from her family (who are local, own a small business of their own. maybe a barber's or something to that effect. they like it here because people mind their business. they are still very very polish and I think June might even have a slight accent here).

Anyways I think she starts out waitressing when Benny's is still small (the name of which hasn't been decided yet. "Our Baby" doesn't feel like a saloon name, but Benny definitely started calling it that like . colloquially)

And then bartending. and then helping him close. and then bickering with him and helping him with the business end of things. and oh no they're acting like an old married couple now and they aren't even DATING!!!!! I think true to canon, June thinks Benny is joking when he says he likes her and Benny is 110% NOT JOKING!!

I have to think about what I'll do with Piotr here rest in peace big man but June is still a feral little purse dog here too. That shotgun behind the bar is HERS and she knows how to USE IT if she HAS TO! And has gotten into scraps before. Wound treating my beloved <3

But they get married while Willie (u don't know her 'Lina but she's great) is like 7 months pregnant with her and John's first baby (Warren Brady is a baby born out of wedlock and I could think about it all day).

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

oizys u should explain mouthwashing game to me alkdfjals;dkfj ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ it sounds neat but too horror-y for me 😭 but i'm getting. idk just like vague hints that you've heard about it or something <3 sooo if u want to then i could hear about it without having to experience it directly 👀

i dont know what would give you the implication ive seen it im so subtle about my enjoyment of it (lying) but yes ill be happy to provide an explanation :)

specifically what im going to do is . copy and paste the Extremely Detailed Run Through of the game that i told blink in a fit of madness, which is pretty much as close as you can get to playing/watching the game Without playing/watching it imltho

and Then since that explanation will still be kinda horror-y and may not be enjoyed by all ill put at the end of it a tl;dr section that's a more str8-forward explanation of the game with minimal horror elements explained in depth

so if u want to read the whole thing Great, if not feel free to speed scroll to the bottom and read there :) if u have any thoughts or follow up questions Please let me know i love being normal about this game

warnings for: blood, gore, mutilation, severe injury, implied assault (general and sexual), death, general Horror and Tension vibes

mouthwashing is a sci-fi horror game, set on the ship 'the tulpar' with its 5 crew members. there's curly, the captain jimmy, the co-pilot, second-in-command anya, the ship's nurse swansea, the ship's mechanic and daisuke, swansea's intern curly and jimmy are old friends, anya's about their age, swansea's an older man with a family back on earth, and daisuke is a teen/twenties smth who doesnt really know what he's doing with his life

when the game Opens u are told it's '0 days until the crash' and u get to have fun playing as a not-immediately-identified character who's running their ship into an asteroid following that scene you switch to '2 months after the crash' where you're playing as jimmy, with most of the rest of the crew sitting at a table with u and talking about whether or not to open up your cargo hold- as a delivery ship, it's against regulations, but you're stuck in the middle of space, the only thing protecting you from death in the vacuum being piles of emergency foam, and if there's food or medical supplies in there, you need them if youve any chance to survive

you learn in short order that the missing crew member- curly, your former captain now that jimmy's taken over that responsibility- was missing bc he's been in the medical ward for 2 months, devoid of his hands, feet, skin, and one eye. he was in the cockpit when the ship crashed, and it shows. if youve seen the fucked up bandaged guy assoiated with the game, surprise! that's post-crash curly

u get to Have Fun feeding him pain meds after anya asks for your help, saying she cant do it herself. this game has Wonderful sound design so. well. no one's having fun

jimmy then gets to go find a way into the cargo hold, along the way learning that the utility room is foamed up to hells and swansea isnt letting anyone else in there for the time being- the ship's cyro pods live in there, and theyre delicate, so he doesnt trust anyone else to break through the foam without a) killing them b) destroying the pods

once u break into the cargo hold, u see shelves upon shelves of cardboard boxes before the game switches gears to flash u back to 7 days before the crash

u learn ur now playing as curly, who's finishing up a psych eval with anya. he passes, huzzah! and offers to do jimmy's for anya when she mentions that he never takes it seriously, making stupid jokes that she then has to write down for the official report

before doing so, however, curly finds that daisuke has trapped himself in some foam trying to fix a utility vent that leads between the utility room and the medical room. curly gets the axe out for swansea to free daisuke with + clear the rest of the foam. luckily, no one is injured, and the pods (right next to the vent) weren't broken. swansea makes it clear that no one, especially daisuke, is to go back into that vent. it's too fucked up, it can't be fixed, you'll be cut and burned and shocked to death trying

curly takes note before leaving to do the eval with jimmy, with it going over more-normal since curly is doing it instead of anya. they then talk about their respective life positions- jimmy feels he's never going to be good enough, that he's never really gotten anywhere meaningful, and curly is torn between staying in his role as a great ship captain or trying to see if he'd be better off somewhere else, if being a captain is really what he wants to do forever

jimmy makes a comment about how curly's choosing between staying at the top of his current ladder or switching for another, but he's still got 'a long way down/to fall' either way

theyre cut off when a message from the higher ups comes in, and jimmy leaves so curly can read it privately

back to 2 months after the crash, the crew reveals what theyve been shipping: mouthwash. boxes upon boxes of mouthwash. one of them makes a comment about how this is what they wanted us crating across the stars? only mouthwash? anya notes that the mouthwash has too much sugar to be used as a disinfectant, and points out the 14% ethanol content. swansea takes this as a good sign to take a swig of the stuff to Swallow, making a comment about 15 years of sobriety down the drain

we return to 7 days before the crash, where curly has read the message from the higher ups and it is Not Good. he goes to tell the crew, only to have them all greet him with hats and balloons- surprise! happy birthday, curly

they only get one birthday celebration per trip, and they take turns each trip with whose bday they focus on, and this time it's curly. jimmy comments on how the tradition is corny, but he's kinda grown to like it, and he looks forward to the next one. curly reacts oddly before he goes to make the cake; he has to be the one to do it, bc only the captain has the rights to make sugar packets

the crew ask him to do a speech, but as he puts the cake down, they realize something's wrong. they ask what, and curly reveals the news of the note- the 'pony express' they work for is pulling the plug on them. this mouthwash expedition will be their last one- they will get paid for it, curly says, they assured me the crew

doesnt exactly take the news well

swansea said they shouldve seen it coming, pony express was the last organization to run manned delivery ships, the writing was on the wall. anya expresses that she doesnt know what to do- she doesnt have any savings. daisuke asks if they can even do this

jimmy gets more into it, pointing out Specifically how fucked they are- swansea's hardly got that many more working years in him, anya never finished nursing school and hey we all know she never will, but, yknow what, daisuke's got a rich mommy and daddy, so thank gods he'll be just fine. jimmy's got nothing waiting for him on earth, but whatever, i'll be fine, isnt that what you said, curly? that im always fine? down here on the bottom of the rungs? and of course, for curly, this is the best possible outcome! a chance to leave being a captain with none of the guilt of the choice. he wasnt even running from being a captain, just from being around them, but he has to be hero. he's always the hero. and now he's still the damn hero

curly tries to calm jimmy, jimmy slams his hands on the table, and tells him to just cut the goddamn cake

curly does so. it looks more like a stabbing motion

back to post-crash, it's the middle of the night. daisuke's asleep, anya + swansea are missing, and curly's scream-groans are echoing through the ship

jimmy goes to check on curly, finds him flailing. he needs more painkillers, but jimmy's not sure if he's had his set for the day cycle yet, so he goes to find anya. both her and swansea are found in the cockpit, talking about something. anya's not sure what to do. they cut off when jimmy appears, ask him if he's having trouble sleeping too

jimmy asks about the meds, anya says she forgot to do it. jimmy berates her for it before saying he'll take care of it- anya tries to insist she can, but jimmy ignores her to do it himself

curly flails more, pained, screaming, but he gets the meds, jimmy sees to that. theyre running low. once theyre out, jimmy muses, they wont have anything to give curly for the pain, to keep him still

still jimmy, we now enter a This Isnt Reality moment

jimmy's in the main area, the screen that simulates a sky cracked and flashing EMERGENCY on it. at the table is curly, in all his bloody bandage glory. the cake's between him and jimmy. curly- who can talk here, who cant talk in real life anymore- wants to eat the cake. jimmy says it's shitty, subpar, not worth it. curly argues that u need meh things to make the good things Good. he asks jimmy to cut it, and jimmy says he will once he finds a knife

the cake knife is in the broken cockpit, buried in the back of the captain's headrest. jimmy comes back and finds the cake is gone, now curly's on the table instead. the game glitches and cuts to 3 months post-crash before you cut anything

jimmy's in the cargo hold. the place's been lightly ransacked, some boxes open, spilling off the shelves. you need to check on the crew

daisuke's on the floor right outside the hold, sick with a mouthwash in hand. he's drunk some. jimmy says he should stop, it'll kill him-

-faster than anything, daisuke finishes. he gives the mouthwash to jimmy. he never wants to see it again

anya's at the table in the main area, staring at an unopened bottle. there's a backup medical storage area, trapped in the foam, but not That trapped. she thinks they can get to it. they need more medicine

jimmy goes to get the axe from swansea. he's wasted on mouthwash (side note, this crew's ability to survive things that usually kill over the longterm is oddly high. no offense curly and swansea, but you both should be dead well before the end of this affair) and dancing with the axe in hand

jimmy wants it? wants to risk cracking a hole in their ship's emergency foam and killing them all? be his guest- swansea buries the axe in the sky screen behind him, right in the center of the fake sun, and lets jimmy take it away

he gets to the medicine. painkillers- different type, different dose- and medicinal rubbing alcohol (pure alcohol, the inventory tells you, so strong that it could kill)

anya asks him to give the pills to curly again. jimmy breaks again, yelling at anya- can she not do her job?? doesnt she know how busy he is as captain, how much he has to do?? find the scanner, get into the cargo hold, check on the crew, get the axe, and of course, give curly his fucking pills. anya backpedals, says she can do it- but no. jimmy's been asked, jimmy's got it. he'll give curly his fucking pills (the swear is in the mission objective now!)

i get it now, jimmy tells a pained curly, about wanting to get out. being captain's hard. you have to do everything. but don't worry curly. jimmy's going to get them all through this. he's going to fix this. he gives curly his fucking medicine

we now cut to 6 hours before "judgement". jimmy's locked himself in the cockpit- outside, swansea is yelling for him, telling him he cant hide, shaking the door. jimmy rushes to the supply cabinet, finds a broken metal pipe and some rope, these can be useful

he shoves the metal pipe into the door, trying to reinforce the lock. he grabs the rope and swansea breaks through the door's window, reaching through the broken glass for the lock

3 days before the crash, anya's sitting in the main area, looking at the simulated sky. it's set for night, deep blue and silver moon. curly sits next to her. neither of them can sleep, anya says she's been having trouble for a few nights now

there's a dead pixel in the top corner, anya tells curly, if you look closely enough curly cant see it, but he says it'll haunt him. now that you've told me, anya, it'll always be in the back of my mind anya asks how much longer they have to the trip. 273 days, curly responds, just under- -8 months, anya finishes. sits for another moment. captain, why do they have a lock on the door for the medical room, but not the sleeping quarters? same reason they do the cockpit, curly replies. safety the screen glitches out on the word

post crash, 5 months. there's an emergency, daisuke tells us- anya's locked in the medical room with curly

jimmy and daisuke go to investigate, try to force the door open. jimmy asks how hard anya's tried to unstick it on her end, has she put her back into it? she's silent. jimmy asks if the door is really stuck. it isnt, she admits, and she isnt going to unlock it

jimmy says she needs to get over herself, that she needs to learn to deal with hardship. all their meds are in there. she needs to open the door

anya says that she still believes people arent as bad as their worst moment (an earlier conversation, back when we were only 2 months post crash, when jimmy was musing on why they chose to keep curly alive despite the cost, despite 'what he did'). that she believes this isnt her worst moment. they wont stop her from what she must do

jimmy, worried about curly, asks daisuke if there's any other way into the medical room. there is. it's the super duper completely off limits vent that starts in the also currently off limits utility room

to get in the utility room, they need to get past swansea. he's got the key and he's still not letting anyone in, looking miserable and ill as he sits outside the utility room door. he's not dead yet, but the mouthwash isnt exactly doing him any favours

8 hours before judgement. daisuke's on his bedroll, bloody and in agony. they need disinfectant- where's the medicinal alcohol? swansea asks (demands) jimmy tells him cocktail, and swansea curses, tells him to go look for something else. swansea goes to the medical room, door now open. you can't see the area where curly is, cant find anya; the screen glitches out in grey stripes you go the cargo hold. the stairs leading down into them are longer, longer than you remember, too long. take responsibility, take care of it. there's a monster in the cargo, and if you move when it's too close it'll get you

you find a bottle of mouthwash, not yet opened, in the hands of the ship's horse mascot polle

you take it back to daisuke. he tells you he's sorry he messed up, you tell him not to speak

it's too much sugar. you have nothing else you close your eyes and daisuke screams

5 months after the crash. you need to get past swansea. he's got a high tolerance, but it can only be so high, right? you mix a cocktail, one part mouthwash, one part medical alcohol (so strong it could kill)

swansea accepts the 'peace offering.' he hits the ground and the key falls out of his pocket. daisuke worries, will he be ok? it's fine. he has a high tolerance

you open the utility room and find that it's not filled to the brim with foam. the edges are, sure, and most of the cyro pods are ruined, but it's clear overall. there's still one pod standing

daisuke's impressed. swansea's done more work than we thought! jimmy argues he hasn't done any work, he's been lying through his teeth the entire time, hiding the remaining cyro pod as his own secret and excuse to keep welding the axe. only one of them can survive, and swansea's setting it up to be him

daisuke isnt convinced, says they should wait to ask swansea about it. jimmy says theyll deal with him later. for now- the vent

it's still a danger, electricity sparking from a loose wire. daisuke's not convinced this is a good idea. sure, swansea may have been lying about the utility room being foamed out, but he was really serious about this vent. maybe they shouldnt go in

jimmy reminds him this is there only way in, to anya, to curly. daisuke has to go in- he'll be fine, and then, swansea will be so proud of him. he'll have done so well. he'll have done good.... under captain's orders

daisuke folds. he's going to do it. he climbs into the vent. you listen to him clunk through, shuffle over the metal- a pained sound, a groan, and then he's into the medical room. oh, anya, what did you do?

it's 1 day before the crash now. your objective is to find the gun

it's not in the medical room, not in the main area. you go to the cockpit, where it should be, and find anya, kneeling on the floor, distraught. as the nurse, she gave all the psych evals, but no one gave her one. you shouldve. you should have done a lot of things

you'll take care of this, you promise her, you'll get this all figured out. it doesnt have to go on the report logs. where's the gun?

anya tells curly she's pregnant. he asks who.

captain, anya says, i told you.

curly asks for the gun again, says he'll talk to him, he's known him a long time, but he needs the gun back

she reminds him that only the captain can open the case, that she doesnt really have the gun, just the case holding it, hidden away. the bylaws wont let you arm her with it against him, but she wont let it fall into his hands

6 hours before judgement. jimmy cant get daisuke's bleeding to stop. swansea's kneeling next to the kid. he's got the axe again

he talks to daisuke, for a bit. about how he hadnt been able to do anything right, about how swansea didnt know why he had come to the ship in the first place. about how he was just a kid trying to figure everything out. about how he was still always Trying. always wanting to Learn. useless ray of goddamn sunshine. you couldve taught an old fool like me a lot. close your eyes, daisuke

swansea raises his axe and strikes the center of the sun

jimmy starts arguing with swansea, angry, why'd he do that? didnt he see jimmy was fixing it, that he just needed time? why will no one on this damn ship give him any time?

swansea says he's done with jimmy's trying to 'fix' everything, that there was no more hope for any of them, that he was sparing daisuke from spending another second with jimmy and his delusions

jimmy accuses swansea of less selfless motivations, tells him that he knows about the utility room, the one remaining cyro pod- swansea's planning to try and be the last one standing, isnt he? 20 years in a cyro chamber is a better chance than the months theyve got on the ship before food runs out

swansea laughs at him. he doesnt want the cyro chamber. he's got everything he needs right there on the ship. does jimmy want it? he's welcome to it - he can tell whatever story he wants when the rescue crews finally find him. he can be the hero. curly and the rest of them'll take the blame. jimmy can be the hero

jimmy brushes him off, goes to the medical room. anya's on the floor, vomit on her chest and three bottles scattered around her slumped over form. curly, still alive, watches you with one eye as you pry open her hidden drawer and find the gun case. you can open it. you're captain now

you go to the medical door. open it up to find swansea running at you, full tilt, axe raised over his head. you slam the door shut

curly laughs at you. as you open the case, get the gun, find swansea running at you. bloody hunk of meat and he's laugh-crying at you

0 days before the crash. anya's in the medical room, on her knees. she told jimmy. curly says he wishes she wouldve waited for him. it doesnt matter. jimmy didnt take the news well, stormed off. curly goes to follow him. he can fix this. he'll fix this

jimmy's outside the utility room. i can fix this, curly tells him. you'll get through this

it's not just me though, is it? jimmy points out. it's your ship, captain. your responsibility (take responsibility, take care of it). that'll follow you around for the rest of your life

or they'll just see it as your best attempt. a tragedy, despite its impeccable captain's supposed best efforts. no survivors to tell the tale

for a moment, the first moment, you cut out of both jimmy and curly's bodies. you watch jimmy put his hand on curly's arm. take care of it, take care of it, take care of it, kills 99.9%-

jimmy says he'll take care of it, and he walks away

moments later, the ship is crashing, jimmy sitting outside of the cockpit. tell me you didn't-? no response. you pry open the doors to the cockpit, rush in headfirst. you'll fix it. you will fix it, even as fire consumes your vision

1 hour before judgement. you've got curly in your arms now. you walk him out to the main area- surprise! happy birthday jimmy

the crew's seated at the table again; anya with her vomit-covered chest, daisuke with a bloody line through his face, swansea with a bullet through his forehead. jimmy places curly on the table. theyre all celebrating him, begging him for a speech. you pick up the knife

for some people, it's enough just to put food on the table. but not for curly. he needs more. you've always needed more, curly, but that's alright. i still believe in you. even like this

a view from above shows the crew slumped over and unmoving. a view from jimmy's eyes show them sitting up, breathing, smiling. swansea's drinking more mouthwash

you cut through the cake with a stabbing motion, a sawing motion, dropping a slab on each member's plate. the cake sits. curly stares. both his legs are shorter than they were before the crash, but one even more so now. feast

you're in the vents now. take responsibility. there's no going back now. you turn around and something- a face- in the darkness- you're facing the vent again. there's no going back now

you crawl, backwards, through the vents. a bloody note reads responsibility and you crawl from it the fastest. axes line the vents. now flowers, hibiscuses, bright pink like the one's on daisuke's shirt

you tie up swansea. you can still fix this, you tell him. you'll fix this

swansea tells a story. how he used to be a drunkard, always down the bottle, until one day he looked in the mirror and scared himself, saw a bloated body in a ditch if he didnt straighten out. he got sober, got a job, a mortgage, a collared shirt. a wife, kids. none of his achievements ever felt as good as he wanted them too. those days, lost to the bottle, living on the edge- they were some of the best he ever had

if i couldve done one thing right, he tells you, i wouldve saved that kid. that would have been worth it. that would have meant something

jimmy says he can fix this. swansea tells him to fuck off. jimmy fires his gun

you walk through the endless halls of the ship. the walls are sporting eyes, and all of them are watching you. curly's eye, eyes. watching you. you crawl out of his throat and find him where you bolted him into the ship, half machine, surrounded by tvs

you go to the tv, watch a cartoon. it's mother goose's birthday. you grab the cake and pull out a slice of curly's leg. he'll thank you one day. you twist the knobs until the cake goes down a treat, until he can't spit it back up. he'll thank you one day

there's flesh in the ship and it's beating, bleating, horses like fetuses in the warmth. the blob blinks filmy eyes out at you and screams

polle's talking to you now. backdrop of the cargo hold. backdrop of the skyscreen, set to night. poor you, polle coos in false sympathy, caged and unbelieved

i tried my best! jimmy argues, me and curly both did. but curly's the better man

why are you still so concerned with him?

jimmy carries curly to the utility room. puts him in the pod. closes the door

we're curly again, watching our old friend through the glass

i wanted to help you, but all i did was hurt you. but you're safe now. no one can harm you now. together we can fix anything, right? we fixed it. i.... i fixed it

jimmy walks out of sight. you hear a gunshot. a moment of panic, blind- did he forget? did he leave you here, trapped, alone-

and the cyro kicks in, blue and cool, as the credits roll through your vision

TL;DR RECAPPING

mouthwashing is about a cargo ship crew stuck in space after their ship was purposefully crashed by one of their own. you take turns playing the game 'before the crash' as curly, the official captain, and playing 'after the crash' as jimmy, the co-pilot and unofficial captain once curly is severely injured by the crash. other characters are anya, the ship's nurse, swansea, the ship's mechanic, daisuke, swansea's intern, and polle, the ship's mascot who is only alive in some nightmares

throughout the game you learn that, while he's convinced the others it was curly, jimmy crashed the ship in a fit of desperation after learning that anya- whom he assaulted- was pregnant. the child was evidence he wouldnt be able to hide when they reached their destination, so... why not crash the ship and doom everyone!

the game gets its name from the fact that the only thing the crew was hauling turns out to be mouthwashing, which swansea uses to get drunk, but otherwise isnt very helpful. many good symbolic/metaphorical implications contained in it though!

by the end of the game, all characters end up dead, save for curly. anya commits suicide with pills, swansea mercy kills daisuke after jimmy goaded him into doing something stupid that got him seriously injured, swansea gets shot when going after jimmy, and jimmy kills himself with gunshot after putting curly in a cyropod. it's possible curly wont survive too, but he's the only crew member with a chance at it

the game has Many themes and concepts and such but some of the most important to take away are:

responsibility and complicity. jimmy and curly are the two player characters for a reason; they're parallels to each other. jimmy is the primary/direct cause for most of what goes wrong, but he wouldn't have been able to do everything he did if curly had done his job and stopped him. curly's complicity in jimmy's crimes are what ultimately doom himself and the entire ship. jimmy does everything, curly does nothing, and they are both to blame

the rampant effects of misogyny, in the workplace and general, and how even in issues that are All about them, women are often excluded from their own narratives. mouthwashing is driven by the injustice anya faces at both jimmy and curly's hands, in how jimmy treats her and in how curly refuses to see what jimmy's done because He's An Old Friend, He Wouldn't Do That, Right? yet, despite this, anya is often strikingly absent from the story, especially in jimmy's hallucinations. he's willing to accept the blame, the responsibility for everything... but not anya. he begs forgiveness for wronging curly, but he never even thinks of it for anya. in a story so largely controlled by the mistreatment she faces and everything she tries to do to combat it, anya is constantly sidelined. this is purposeful. this is unreliable narrator at their finest

turning the blind eye eventually comes back to hurt everyone, especially the ones who looked away the hardest. curly does nothing to help anya, only to end up in a position where he's the one entirely at jimmy's violent mercy. see the previously mentioned points

and there is So Much More but those are some base points u can carry away with u whether u read the full debrief or just the tldr :) hope you enjoyed . i am mentally well (lying)

[ca-suffit]

... STUNNED that nalyra and her racist co used the terms "subset" to label anyone who wanted to talk about the obvious racism in the fandom.. as a "subset"... Wow. WOW. I'm speechless about that.

Also ever notice how their replies to every portion of an ask is "the show is so nuanced" "the show put in so much effort and nuance" "everything is so nuanced" like wtf WHAT is so nuanced what exactly is this NUANCE she keeps mentioning jc can they ever give complete answers or will they run their own subset of the white minded fandom to the ground with these moronic answers they love to clog the tags with

(context)

Everything is always vague on purpose bcuz it's all intentionally manipulative language. It's meant to look surface level nice and "considerate" of all angles so that at first glance ppl will think anyone judging their posts is just crazy. It's basically the racist white woman speaking in public to any non white person voice. "I'm so non judgmental and innocent and idk why ur being so aggressive to me, I'm not doing anything wrong."

The dog whistles have either been "subset" or "loumanders." There's some examples below.

If u search tags for "iwtv fandom racism" u will find a lot of posts from Feb 2024 bcuz of Nalyra getting exposed for liking posts from cosmicjoke about how reverse racism is real and noticing race is the real racism. Not that this needs that context to be p obvious but for anyone who rly doubts what's going on here ig.

There is literally no reason to defend Lestat so much like this while saying obviously racist shit about which type of ppl u think are the main ppl who are disliking the character atm. If u don't like what the show is doing then stop watching or get angry at a later time when we're out of the IWTV part of the story. Doing all this when u even admit IWTV is "the worst" portrayal of Lestat that u feel like later was "fully" retconned in the books (it's not but ok) just makes ppl look like toddlers who can't understand how TV series work. It's a whole book series and this is meant to be a long TV series too and ur here on day 1 doing all this for what. To protect the white guy from being criticized? jfc. The guy FAMOUSLY known for being a huge asshole?? That's kind of his whole thing, even when he's "nice." U don't get the name "brat prince" if ur agreeable.

Left is Virginia

Full context of Virginia's post

Both of them in the same thread, sticking to the "the books" and references to selective cast / crew interviews to say the patriarchal / abuse themes coming from Lestat in S1 shouldn't be noticed by anyone

[toniko]

side stories spoilers

there was only a little bit of LHH in these new chapters? I mean more of him next chapter but I miss him so bad…

oh but seriously hyunwoo is so gilyoung coded it’s crazy, the image of them lying side by side… LHH’s sentiment about them looking like brothers is such a sweet sentiment

otherwise i feel it’s finally time to settle my opinions on the readers

1: Lee Hakhyun (my serious favorite chara of all orv)

He refuses to let ANY reader die, it really reminds me of that Dokja selfishness for his companions but it somehow expresses so much kinder out of LHH idk, i just be saying shit now

thank goodness that he’s slightly better emotionally regulated, i love how everyone loves him as well n he so loves them back (especially that 41!YJH guy…) (damn this kind of rehashes my reasons for loving Dokja but that guy is severely more emotionally constipated so i like LHH better)

he feels like such a reliable guy, he really makes sure everyone will be okay n it truly feels like orvss will have a good ending bc he’s there to see it through

yk that feeling of pride u get when Kim Dokja gets hyped up on ORV, yeah i get that for LHH so hard he’s like my guy ever if i were a constellation, half my savings would be gone bc im busy gassing up LHH. he’ll do anything n ill be like “damn RIGHT he did, my goat”

2: Cha Yerin

theater dungeon cube room convo my beloved, literally a top 5 scene for me and all they did was talk

seriously tied w her brother but i think i like her slightly more because she’s the first reader 🥺 i mean LHH’s biggest number one fan literaturegirl64, likes his original works more.

the story of her n her brother is such a, idk gets my heart… orphanage, siblings? she’s blind and her brother has info dumped orv in audio over 6 complete times to her? amazing (this one of applies to why i like both characters, duh)

also just one of the most skilled fighters, ik orv women go crazy but orvss has so many new top tier female fighters, rlly said “no constellation” just a martial arts goat, she n her bro stood out immediately as the badass readers. her design makes me rlly happy too, i keep thinking abt it please make her real blackbox or webtoon ( in aprox. 6 years…)

the 1 on 1 convos she has w LHH are always so special to me, more than ever LHH is an author to her and she is his reader

she’s living my dream btw (got to read LHH’s old novels)

3: KillerKing (Cha Sunwoo???)

i think maybe, if LHH didn’t STILL call you KillerKing (regardless it’s what you go by damn) then I’d remember ur real name

idk I genuinely have to revisit the chapters to check again bc no one is updating any wikis… no should i do it? anyway

he is easily the funniest new character of the side stories bar none, god damn YJH kinnie, chuuni ass

recent recycling center arc (the animal masks one) sold me so hard on him, how can he consistently be like “no, go on without me!” flips black coat n still be cool… coolest lamest guy ever

jophiel is also such a cool constellation sponsor, some of the other readers have yet to have constellations so im excited to see what they end up with

his idea of surviving also being not to be like kim dokja but to do what you’re good at? it’s so good, makes so much damn sense. amazing.

the duo video game skill is awesome, I just can’t believe YJH beats the really cool co-op siblings bc he’s a fucking pro gamer, like get a JOB

4: Ye Hyunwoo

is that right? you want to be kim dokja but you can’t. this mf sets off 20 red flags every damn chapter but there’s that sense that he will always remain an ally cause he’s a smart kid and very self-aware so it’s also tragic in that sense

oddly enough he feels like an outsider to the group but he’s around really often n i think he really sets that distance himself

i think he’s really gotta embrace that he’s okay with being taken care of and hiding behind someone but is also capable himself. gong pildu literally your dad little man. I think we’re really at the trickling last bits of his general character arc

5: Lee Dansu (Noh Kyunghwan) (made me cry like 20 times)

favorite dilf in the apocalypse. im joking. maybe

inevitable insane tragedy of staying alive beyond his family

his entire like arc got me bawling my eyes out ong i just wish for him to be happy, kindly middle aged man who only read orv to understand his daughter? like what if i end it all omg it’s so… 😭😭😭

my wish is for him and hyunwoo to talk deadass. they should mourn together. hyunwoo knows what happened to his daughter and they both share a really close connection w her

there’s a real time to shoe him in these chapters bc that’s his daughter’s best friend n then his constellation came down too? deadass

6: Kyung Sein (does this count as trans girl)

she’s goofy silly cute… him? i mean it’s the only time we’ve seen a different gendered reader to character deadass did they run out of incarnation bodies for transmigration?

but anyway, i think it’s fun that she just stans heewon so hard she worked out n then is like bros with hyunsung. 41!YJH legitimately values her and the rest of the companions in combat. this round is so interesting bc like there’s the usual incarnations + the readers who got crazy good powerful so the balance is wrecked

honestly she and Lee Dansu were like, the first companions so there’s a sense of fondness that just comes from knowing them for so long

7: Ji Enyu

victim of less screen time bc she’s being badass on her own, seriously. initially she’s all like “haha what if we get put in the orv world there’s no way I’d survive” n she’s surviving the hardest, the balls on this woman. i think my jaw drops everytime she appears bc she’s got new awesome abilities n powers n connections. don’t even need that YJH carry

+ Yoo Sangah constellation, + LHH’s equivalent of Yoo Sangah, + the editor of ORV (its editor…. 🥹)

she and LHH literally got that best friend feel on, just looking at each other n understanding each other

also possessing King of Beauty is unironically crazy, but so so funny. someone who found her own way but still remains a reliable ally all the way through

seems to be getting more screen time this arc PLEASE more of her

that’s the companion readers i deadass can not write anymore in this tumblr post i mean i can. oh wow the readers are so fucking awesome man…

[maiverie]

moot game idea what if u put your moots (and you or maybe their bias) in a prompt generator && rate the likelihoods ^^

hi anon so sorry this took so long to reply to AAA

here r a few quick ones ( + me & heeseung cos it’s MY blog and i’m allowed to be delulu too 🤭) hope u liked this anon i actually had sm w these they’re so cute 😭

solid 9/10 i think heeseung lowkey this type of guy 😭 posting his gfs pictures everywhere and commenting on all her posts to assert his dominance 🤩 flirting w her in the comments 😀 but anyway i docked a point to keep myself in check n make sure i dont go full delusional lmfaooo

@ctrlemis 10/10 SOOBIN RESPECTFUL BOY AWARDDDD 🤭 i can see him being very attentive toward cultural customs and open to learning 🥹💞 CUTIE He deserves a smooch

@flwrshee -8374939/10 nahh fuck this i’m jealous I DIDNT GET THIS ONE W HEESEUNG WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THIS SOSOSOOSOSS CUTE FUCKYOOOUUUUUUUY????????( 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is bsssss heeseung doesn’t even own a phone 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

@chiyuv 197392/10 THIS IS CRAZYYYYYYY i can def picture user chiyuv having that kind of rizz 🤓 THE OUTWARD FLIRTING is so real i’m pre sure i once saw cael tweet about wanting to meet heeseung so she can aggressively tell him he has pretty eyes 😭😭

@reivrze 100/10 HAHEJWJDJWKSJHAJA THIS MADE ME LAYGH LIKE WHY CAN I PICTURE HOON GOING VIRAL FOR A MEME SAURRRYYYY he just has a memeable face idk😭😭😭 i can def picture miyu/hoon having that goofy friends to lovers dynamic

@shinsou-rii 10/10 THIS IS SO CUTE N FUNNY SO ROMCOM I CAN DEF PICTURE THIS ??? like ri would definitely beat ts out of childhood bf!sunghoon 😭😭😭 I CAN JUST IMAGINE IT HAJDJSJS AND UR LIL SISTERS JOINING IN ON THE SNOW FIGHT TOO??? so cute i love this prompt

@haerinz 19372/10 this is gen so FUCKINGcute AND SO REAL LIKE YES ??? JUNGWON WOULD LROBABLY BE GETTING UP EARLY TO GO DANCE PRACTIce or smth and then feel bad for making noises in the kitchen 😭😭 FAE WOULD STUMBLE OUT THE ROOM IN CONFUSION 😭😭 jungwon would probably kiss her on the forehead as an apology 😭😭 ok i need to stop herE

[horrorsequel]

KYLE DO NOT READ THIS VENTURE BROS SPOILERS

Sorry saw image of Malcolm and blacked out cos like okay. He found out uh his dad was a robot and then fucking immediately watched that robot die. Huh whuh and never said shit abt it. I’m fucking fine and normal for sure I definitely am not going to be thinking abt this so much that I already started writing aNOTHER fic last week to deal with it. Cos I’m fine.

God I’m so fucking cringe ass …28 year old writing fanfic. About cartoons. Ugh kills dies maims

ANYWAY fucking uh okay. Dad was a robot dad was turned into a robot by the dad of the guy u spent ur entire career trying to thwart. All this shit started before u were even born. There was no choice for u. Ventures are your enemies ventures were ur dads enemies Jonas killed ur dad BOTH TIMES. and can u even feel anything about it except the same thing you always felt which is just wishing u had known him. But u never did. How much do u remember. Ur life with him was so short and he wasn’t a,ways around and u lost him in such a traumatic incident that also took ur mother and it’s like how much of ur life before that got blown out of ur brain by that. It would have been hard to remember anyway HOW MUCH DO U REMEMBER MALCOLM. what other relatives were there? Like after the summer of the monarchs. U got ur money but like what else did u get? Cos the house was fucked up lol how long was it abandoned. And like who took care of him. Staff? Did he have a little boy king lord of the manor thing going?

Idk I’m freaked and fricked we never hear Malcolm talk abt his mom and he says very little abt his dad and it’s all very sort of like… does he talk abt him like that cos he doesn’t like thinking abt him for the obvious reasons so it’s easier to put emotional distance there or does he talk abt him like that cos there really is emotional distance cos he doesn’t fucking remember the guy anyway so who cares

And then there’s uh. “Daddy?”

And that’s too much. I want to throw up. His dad… his daddy. He was so little. AUGH KMS why do I give a shit.

Idk I like the monarch a lot. I don’t wanna whump him or whatever I know it’s maybe a little annoying to think so hard abt the hidden inner thoughts and emotions of a silly little guy esp when his main thoughts and emotions are all defined by trying to fuck up the life of a bald idiot but yeah. Idk family stuff always fucks me up hence why I got into vbros in the first place.

[homocrafting]

hi sorry if this message is sudden. Im deep in cold medicine so its not going to be coherent.either. But i reblogged ur richarlyson fanfic and brooooo uts fhcken awesome. i cried. idk if its some hidden sense of brazillian pride or whateves but i rlly love ur interpretation of himmmm. can u share hcs about richarlyson as a person and or post your snippet to ao3?

AAAAAA TYSM THIS MADE MY DAY!!!! everytime someone says they cried/almost cried bc of that fic I gain 5 points of strenght btw. this is a good thing

I might post it to ao3 soon!! just gotta get Tge Willpower for it, I'll add the link to it in the rbs of the og post when I do

hcs abt richas under the cut bc I love read mores (starts off as just more general stuff then gets into hcs abt him)

Richarlyson is such a fun character bc he's like the main character, just a little guy, the dude who dies to start the main character's story, and the symbol of hope charactersare given in their time of need, all at the same time

he's the main character in the way that the world revolves around him. like, he showed up, 5 people became obsessed with keeping him alive, safe and happy, his older brother (Bobby) tries to steal his spotlight, some people wanted him dead from the moment he was born, one of his fathers wants him to be a killing machine, he knows 3 languages, you see my point. and now, like, so many people are working on keeping him safe. he's the only uncracked egg, that has to mean something

he's just a little guy because he is just a little guy. he makes cute drawings for his dads and hangs out with his friends and has a bunch of siblings and is learning the flute and has a gun. he's 5 days old and he already lost a life

if he dies it's the beginning of so many terrible arcs. what is Forever's grind for if not his son's safety- to end the world, to get phil to love him? who does the emerald in Felps's house belong to? what's the point of the football field? what's the point of all the training? what if you lose a third (?) chance.

he's Quackity's hope, also, I guess, to be the parent he tried to be but never could, even if all he has is 1% of his custody

sorry anyway MOVING ON TO THE AVTUAL RICHAS HEADCANONS

Due to being the youngest egg, the others have varying types of Older Brother behavior with him

Despite whatever his siblings do, Richas still loves them

He's been taken to Tilin's grave quite a few times now, and each time he just gets... really sad. It doesn't make him value his life the way they want it to- instead, it convinces him he can't, by any means, let himself get killed, otherwise his dads will end up like 1% dad quackity (very very sad), and his siblings will mourn him and that won't be nice

he's an incredibly sweet kid- this isn't an hc as much as it's an Actual Real On God fact, I just think it's very important

because he is such a sweet kid, the lessons about hurting other things are the ones that he dislikes most

he loves tax evasion it's his favorite crime to commit

he picks up other people's habits very easily! things like tics, stims, speech patterns, etc

he's scared being manco will make his dads like him less. no matter how many times they tell him it's fine, he feels he has to compensate for it somehow

his gun is like a comfort object to him, and staying away from it for too long makes him very uncomfortable

despite being scared of bulls, he doesn't hate them, not like Leo hates whales, for example. Killing that bull he had gotten phisically close to wasn't pleasant

as he grows, he tries to put on a bit of a tougher persona because of, especially, Cellbit's expectations, although all the other dads' also contribute in different ways

ultimately, he sucks at keeping that up, and 99,9% of people can see right through him

he cherishes his first stolen emerald so so much

he uses braces due to his bad leg! that leg stops at the knee, and Forever is working on a prosthetic for him

he loves watching Forever work on the prosthetic, and will often comment on things he wants on it

he has a hard time understanding romance, due to having 5 dads who aren't in love with each other, Chayanne's dad being one of his dad's crush (he THINKS that's it), whatever cellbit and roier have going, etc

he forgives very easily

he doesn't really... like his definetly not a captivity room. he thinks he understands why he has to sleep there, and the attempts to make it more cozy worked a little, but it's too dark and quiet and small in there. there's barely any space to shoot his gun and soon there won't be space for paintings

somewhere, he has a whole ass habitat for his pet jabuti

he loves Dapper's (I think it's Dapperd I forgor) zoo

he has flute lessons with Tallulah every 2 days or so

and I thiiiink that's all for now? I've taken way too long to answr this already sorry :( but I hope it was worth the wait

[taegularities]

RID!! hiii!

how are you? i hope ur well! i cant believe 2022 is almost over, it literally flew by so fast 🧍‍♀️ this was one of the best years so far, i accomplished so much and i grew in so many ways (character development against my will fr) i hope you had a good 2022 as well! hopefully 2023 brings more blessings ❤️

i also wanted to mention how much i appreciate you as a person. ur return to twitter honestly made me so happy 🫶 i love seeing ur interactions on my timeline (u truly treat everyone with so much love, it warms my heart) im always blown away with how incredibly talented you are 🫡 truly cmi is a work of art, im always wowed when i see a new update! i cant wait to see what else you produce in the new year (royal jk au is going to blow me away, i already know) ❤️❤️

ALSO, i saw you finished s1 of bridgerton!! what did you think? i think s2 is so much better, you'll def love it!! so much happens and the tension rid, THE TENSION. i love enemies to lovers and kate and anthony do such a good job 🫡🫡

i hope you have a good new year rid! ❤️

-wife from war anon 💂‍♀️

HELLO, MY BELOVED !!!!

ahhh, i've been doing well, babe, thank you so much !! i was a bit sad today without any plausible reason, but then i pulled myself together cos we're a bad bitch 😤 i'm so proud of you and your character development... just reading about your daily life makes it pretty clear to me that you work hard, so you honestly deserve to be happy, and i hope you continue to be just that. 2022 was a ride for me :') a loooot of bad moments. but good stuff, too. and it's gradually getting better and that's all that counts!

and hey 🥺 you're literally so sweet, thank you so much for saying that. and i'm so happy that i got to know you better upon returning, too.. idk, y'all have been so lovely and warm to me, too, so i can only give that comfort back 🤍 oh my gosh yessss wifey, i can't freaking wait to show you guys my wips, cos there's quite a bit coming in 2023 !!! been thinking so damn much about royal!jk these days </3

YES YES i finished s1 of bridgerton! i feel like even that one had its e2l moments, and since they were so intense, i can't fkn wait to see what s2 has in store for us/me. EXCITED FOR THE TENSION. i'm really loving kate 🥺

i'll be saying it again in 2 days, but i hope you have a wonderful new year as well, love. thank you for always being so damn kind 🤍

[causenessus]

HI NESS MY LOVE <333 i hope you’ve had a good morning evening or afternoon!! how’s your day been? make sure u eat !! today i had dim sum with the family and we’re going to a temple now, the weather is so much better than it has been the last few days like tell me why summer is barely doing it’s summer thing like where’s the WARM weather not the HOT IM GONNA DIE weather

also HAVE A GOOD SHIFT!! or i hope you had a good shift WHENEVER YOU READ THIS and omg some grocery store sandwiches are literally so good idk what premade processed stuff it is but sometimes it just HITS like i eat it up like its some gourmet food like something about it is just so good LOL but omg i don’t trust grocery store sushi like the raw fish especially because like i think i’m just extra scared since i’ve had food poisoning before LOL so now i’m like extra extra cautious, but maybe ill try the non-raw ones and report back!!

but OMG THE ANON APOCALYPSE HELLO LIKE WHATS THAT ABOUT? i genuinely got so upset reading on eggy and wry’s blog because im like guys??? lets be nice??? hello??? why are we attacking our smau writers like i was genuinely flabbergasted that they would get hate or you or like ANYONE it’s so crazy, i was thinking of literally revealing my blog because im like i don’t wanna be lumped into the mean anons… LOL it’s not like i have a problem with going un-anon now but i’ve been graced with the name mango ANON so now i feel weird suddenly coming out like heyyy guysss this is the real me in my full glory (reveals myself as an actual mango) (sorry this is so silly LOL)

also STOP UR SO SWEET i might bcuz i <3 talking to you like everytime you reply i have to sit down and genuinely take in everything you say and im always like omg no way omg wait omg this like it’s at a point where i’m switching through my notes app and tumblr so i can read and respond at the same time LOL

but i’m excited for ur project !!! whatever you have planned! but make sure ur also taking care of yourself and SLEEPING!! SLEEP IS IMPORTANT SO MAKE SURE YOU TAKE CARE OF URSELF!! if i have to sing you a lullaby every night i will commit myself to sing you a lullaby !! ALSO THATS SO SWEET “ness has a mango anon” IT DOESNT SOUND MEAN DW!! ur like the sweetest and nicest person ever don’t even worry about being mean, IM THE ONE WORRYING ABOUT BEING MEAN OR BEING TOO MUCH ur doing perfectly fine!

but take care of yourself!! drink plenty of water and EAT!! make sure you eat at work and take care of yourself!! xoxoxo

HELLO AAAA!! i hate missing a day where i don't answer u but at the same time like getting to talk to you TWICE in a day is such a treat!!!! and honestly it's three times if you count you yelling at me to go to bed earlier this morning 😭😭😭 and AA!!! i have't had dim sum in so long i hope it was good!!! and for me idk the weather is like having a stroke??? it's cloudy and then it rains for five seconds and then there's LIGHTING and then suddenly it's 95 degrees outside??? but that's how my state always is 😭 like genuinely most of the time everytime i walk out the door it's different weather

I'M GONNA PUT THE REST OF THIS UNDER A CUT BC I YAPPED SO MUCH BE PREPARED

AND THANK YOU!! tbh omg it was not good 😭 well it WAS good i got some pretty big pieces done i was very proud of it!! because i work in like a framing department :D but then i got called out to help this dude and like??? maybe his daughter or wife idek??? and he was like "i want to frame this thing i have that is this dimensions with a mat so what should i do" and i was like "well you could do this frame we're standing right next to (i didn't say that part) but your mat's gonna be small" and he asked me how much it would cost and BRO I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T ESTIMATE FOR THE LIFE OF ME BECAUSE IT DEPENDS ON LIKE 50 FACTORS AND I'M STILL A LITTLE NEW so i was like "for that size?? $30 probably" (it is expensive </3) AND SORRY I'LL HURRY UP AND GET TO THE POINT but he was like "no. no. how much would it cost TOTAL?" and i'm gonna start writing this as dialogue bc i'm lazy.

(he had two things he wanted to frame)

me: well this frame is $40 so it's gonna be $70 per one

man's wife/daughter/thing: $40 for a frame? that's outrageous

me: 🧍‍♂️ (i cannot control prices. i am a framer. although i did not build this frame u are basically insulting me to my face and i no longer know what u want me to say and i no longer want to help u.)

me: well. they're on sale. so.

and then i POINT to the "on sale sign" that say BUY ONE GET ONE 50% OFF

man: okay so how much is the sale.

i then stare at the sign i just pointed at.

me: well the sale is buy one get one 50% off. so $60.

him:

me:

him: okay we're going

i then walk away and make a point to glare at his woman for her rude comment

woman: do you have this frame in 16x20? i could only find 14xblahblablah i don't remember

me: no what we have out here is what we have

man: we're going since SHE CAN'T HELP US.

AND THEN THEY CONTINUED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ME AS THEY WERE WALKING OUT AND SAID I WAS NO HELP AND SOMEONE SHOULD TALK TO ME 😭😭😭 like man bro i told you the prices what did you want me to do barter you and say if you give me a cheese wheel you can have the frame?????????????????????????????? like my coworkers all checked on me afterwards and defended me bc like 😭😭 what did i do 😭😭 SORRY i had to tell someone bc that was lowkey so upsetting and being asked if i was okay right after I ACTUALLY ALMOST CRIED which was a good part!! bc i haven't been able to cry for months (sorry this is so long and such a lore drop) but then i didn't cry bc i didn't want to ruin my makeup LMFAO 😭 and this is probably why my tear ducts gave up on me bc i never let them cry anyway

OKAY SORRY STORY TIME IS OVER AND YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE PROCESSED FOOD 😭 like i KNOW that poke bowl was NOT good for me and tbh i really don't like it but i had nothing else to eat 😭😭😭 AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR YOU ARE GENUINELY SO SWEET AND FUNNY <3 when i imagined you making a burner blog 😭😭😭 i literally imagined you making the user mango anon LMAOAOAO but definitely feel free to do that!! CAUSE I DO THE SAME THING I LOVE READING ABOUT YOUR DAYS AND LIKE KEEPING MENTAL NOTES OF EVERYTHING I WANT TO SAY AND HIGHLIGHT !! <333

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH I WILL DEF SLEEP (i am literally drinking a matcha and it is almost midnight and i start school tomorrow. anyway.) BEING SLEEP DEPRIVED WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA TODAY I LITERALLY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ON THE ROADS TODAY BUT I AM STILL ALIVE AND WELL!!! AND I'M SO SO EXCITED TO HEAR WHAT U THINK OF THE ENTIRE PROJECT WHEN IT'S OUT!! <3 take care of yourself and i hope you have a lovely day mango anon!!!! i hope the weather isn't too bad for you and make sure to eat and drink lots of water!! and sleep!! <3

[bratbarzal]

On Your Side (NH13) / Chapter One

Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen*

*I say it's an OC, it's just a name and third person POV. I use minor character descriptions because I don’t get on with writing vague reader inserts/YN for long-form, story heavy fics, but I will generally try to avoid including race and body type or really any physical descriptors. I’m always open to feedback on my writing, or how to be more inclusive.

WC: 14k

Chapter Warnings: angst, miscommunication, drinking, some fluff!! a cute flashback and a happy ending, references to poor relationships with parents/bad parenting (including minor mentions of maternally-encouraged disordered eating but not an ed), instagram stalking, allusions to cultural appropriation and problematic tweets, depictions of anxiety, a lot more words than necessary because it was like 23 words away from the next thousand and I'm nothing if not a yapper

Summary: Poppy Jensen’s job with the New Jersey Devils was supposed to be her first big step into adulthood - a way to prove to herself and her overbearing parents that she could make her own way in life. She was never supposed to become involved with any of the players. Becoming best friends with their captain was stupid. Getting her heart broken by him was tragic. Getting knocked up with his child was just plain messy.

Series Masterlist

Previous Part (Prologue)

A/N: thank you thank you thank you for all your kind messages and feedback around the first part it really means a lot to me!! taglist included at the end, if you want to be added pop me a message :)

when I first started writing and mapping this series out I never intended to have split pov chapters cos that's !a lot! but I ended up writing so much more from Nico's perspective I literally never write male pov cos who wants to be in the mind of a man?? not me. but Nico comes easy to me what a man what a man what a mighty good man. he's a bit dumb in this series but who isn't. don't shame him. he is very precious to me.

Poppy

How Poppy ever thought she would have been able to get away with tricking Jack Hughes into forgetting she said she would come to his party by just waiting out his drunkenness, she does not know.

The guy is a nuisance.

Her phone has been blowing up since she and Nia started getting ready for their evening festivities, sharing a bottle of rosé between the two of them as they both sit in Poppy’s bedroom doing their hair and makeup.

Jack: What time do u think u’ll get here? 😬

Poppy: idk

She’d tried being somewhat aloof in the hopes he would move on from bothering her and she could let the wine do it’s intended purpose of blurring her mild irritation from the day, but she’s starting to think mild irritation is Jack’s middle name.

Jack: rough estimate?

Poppy: roughly? 🤔

Poppy: idk 🙂

Jack: cool

Jack: ur uninvited

Poppy: cool 

Poppy: see ya next year

Jack: ur reinvented

Jack: invited*

Jack: attendance is mandarin

Jack: mandatory* ffs

“Is that Hughes?” Nia questions the continuous buzz of Poppy’s phone. She’s sat on the floor in front of the mirror with a curling wand in hand, her hair 90% done and curls pinned up to set them. Nia has borrowed some of Poppy’s pyjamas, and is sat wearing a silk robe she didn’t even know she owned. “Dude needs a hobby.”

“Annoying me is his hobby, I think.” Poppy locks her phone and puts it face down on her dresser as she skims through her closet. She did have an outfit picked out already for her usual New Years celebrations, but bar hopping around New Jersey and attending a fancy private party with a bunch of rich athletes and their drop dead gorgeous partners are two different ballgames entirely. 

Poppy knows all too well what it feels like to turn up to an organisation event underdressed, and she won’t be making the same mistake ever again - even if this is a party held in a player’s own residence, she knows that people will be dressed up.

It’s New Years Eve, for sake - everyone will be primed for a photo opportunity for the instagram dumps, her usual trusty top, skirt and boots combo won’t cut it.

“Blazer dress?” She holds up her latest suggestion so that her best friend can see it. She’s worn this one a couple times before, knows it makes her legs look incredible when she pairs it with some pantyhose so she doesn’t have to worry about getting too cold on the way there, but it limits her shoe options if she is going to cover her legs.

“Boring,” Nia throws back, and Poppy isn’t even sure she’s looked, but she knew the second she pulled it out her friend would decline - it’s what she’s been doing at everything Poppy owns for the past half an hour.

Poppy’s thankful she hadn’t started by trying on the options, knowing that if she was in and out of all the dresses she’d suggested, she would be a hot, flustered mess by now.

“Surely you’re running out of excuses by now, Ni,” Poppy sighs, stepping away from her closet so she could stare down Nia’s reflection in the mirror she was sat before. “You’re being absolutely no help.”

Nothing has been right.

The red strapless dress that flared out at the waist? Too Christmassy. The navy blue one shoulder body con dress? Too millennial. The rhinestone silver slip dress? Too much. The black off-the-shoulder mini dress? Too plain.

There is nothing in Poppy’s closet that is going to appease her best friend’s tastes, so she doesn’t know why she’s bothering.

“Just give me 2 minutes and I’ll find the one, trust me.”

“Why have you let me stress about this for so long if you’re just gonna come over here and pluck out something random like you’ve had it in mind this whole time?”

“Because I like winding you up and watching you go, Pop.” Nia winks at her from the mirror, holding up her near empty glass. “Top us both up, babe, you still have your cranky pants on from earlier.”

“I’m not cranky.” She mutters to herself, picking her phone back up from where she had just discarded it, and collecting both their glasses to take back through her apartment into her kitchen. 

The device buzzes as soon as she sets it on the counter, but she ignores it in favour of pouring herself a drink, taking gulps of the rosé she’s just poured before topping both of the wine glasses back up with equal measures. She needs the extra pick-me-up to calm her nerves, and debates swigging down her second glass when she turns her phone back over.

Jack: ur grumpiness is contagious btw

Jack: u have broken my captain

Below Jack’s messages, he has sent through a picture. It’s a setting Poppy knows all too well, having only left a few hours ago after helping finish set up the party. In the midst of everything - decorations, attendees with drinks in hand chatting away and mingling with each other - Nico stands alone. He has his arms crossed, the sleeves of his sweater rolled up to his elbows, and he looks deep in thought. The people around him have turned into their own conversations, but he shows no interest in joining them, not in the picture at least. 

It’s not the way she remembers him to be - not the way the pictures that still litter the front of her refrigerator portray him to be. Front and centre in most of them, tongue sticking out or mouth open in a face consuming grin in all, drink in hand in a few. Her free hand lifts until her fingers graze over one of the pictures - taken when the Devils had thrown a party after they had clinched the playoffs at the end of last season. Nico and Poppy stood together, his arm slung around her, cheeks smushed together as the rest of the boys and a couple other friends from within the team pressed themselves into the frame, smiles so big she can barely see their eyes. 

She doesn’t know why the pictures are still up. She should have taken them down, by now. Made way for new memories. Pictures of her with Nia or any of her other friends, pictures of her with family, but she struggles to recall a memory as happy as the ones magnetised to her fridge door - none from the past few months, anyway. 

Her eyes dart back to the picture on her phone. Nico doesn’t seem himself, but, then again, he hadn’t seemed entirely himself earlier, either. The few smiles he had offered hadn’t quite reached his eyes, she had noticed, and he constantly broke out into nervous ticks - chewing at the inside of his cheek, scratching at the skin of his elbow when he folded his arms across himself, rocking on the heels of his feet. 

Sure, she hadn’t been the nicest to him, but that was the first time they had spent any longer than a minute in each other’s company since the summer, and she’d noticed him being off before that interaction.

He’d been similar when she’d seen him throughout the last week at work. Zoning out sometimes, eyes focusing on some far off spot until someone spoke directly to him and shook him out of it.

Whatever is going on with him isn’t her fault.

Her grumpiness is not contagious.

She isn’t even grumpy.

Poppy: not grumpy

Jack: he’s watching the door

Jack: has been since he got here

Jack: clearly waiting for someone 👀 

Poppy: maybe you should talk to him instead of texting me

Poppy: be a good host

Jack: he’s waiting for u 🙂

Poppy: not friends, remember? 🙂

Jack: popstar

Poppy: 🙄

Jack: pls hurry

Jack: he’s depressing me

“This one.” Poppy hadn’t even heard her best friend approaching, her lack of shoes and her featherlight step making her the perfect creeper. Nia is stood on the other side of the kitchen island, holding a dress between both of her hands. Poppy puts her phone back down on the counter and leans over it to properly assess what is being shown to her.

The dress is asymmetric, she thinks - she can’t entirely tell by the way Nia is holding it and she knows she hasn’t worn it before, can still see the tags attached to the label inside - one of the shorter ones in her closet, but not in the way she will worry about flashing her co-workers all night, and a boat neck so she doesn’t have to worry about it being too revealing up top. It ticks most of her boxes. Not too bright, not too showy. She’s pretty certain she’d shown it as one of her earlier options, but Nia had turned her nose up at so many things she can’t remember. She only wishes she had saved herself 30 minutes of irritation by not asking in the first place.

She reaches out to where Nia is holding it, feeling the fabric between her fingers, testing to see if she can see them through the material and breathing a sigh of relief when she can’t. She takes the garment out of her friend’s reach entirely and holds it up in front of her body.

“Are you sure? It’s not too dressy?” Poppy mocks, trying to catch her reflection in the glass parts of her kitchen cabinets. 

“It’s perfect,” Nia says, eyes pulled down by the flash of a new message on Poppy’s phone. Too distracted by trying to get a good look at herself, Poppy doesn’t notice her best friend pick up the device and start looking through.

She wouldn’t usually mind, but Nia has been dropping comments ever since she had arrived at Jack’s place earlier, and Poppy has only just been able to shrug off her commentary. 

“Why is Jack sending you weird, sad pictures of Captain Sexy?”

“Could you stop calling him that?” Poppy frowns, reaching back out for her phone only for Nia to pull it out of her reach.

“Oh my God, Pop, he’s waiting for you!” She pouts, flipping the screen to show Poppy the newest picture of Nico sat checking his watch.

He’s doing her no favours right now.

“Don’t you start with that, too. I don’t know why everyone’s so intent on blaming me for how sad he looks.” she scoffs, “He’ll be waiting for his girlfriend, Ni,”

“About that,” Nia taps away at the phone before turning it again towards Poppy’s glare. “There’s no trace of a girlfriend on his insta,”

“You’re probably checking the wrong one.”

“Nope. Checked both while you were in the shower before. Not even a sneaky hand shot or a corny Christmas stocking with her name on.”

“Give me that,” Poppy finally manages to snatch the cell back, crease forming between her brows as she frowns down at the device, scrolling through Nico’s private instagram where she knows for a fact there had been pictures of him and Talia earlier in the month.

It isn’t that she checks frequently, she just hasn’t unfollowed him yet - wasn’t ready to put the final nail in the coffin wherein lied their friendship, so to speak - and so she’d seen them as he posted them. And she had maybe tried not to throw up in her mouth and had cast her phone beneath a stack of cushions and throws on her couch to avoid it for a few hours after the fact.

The pictures of them in New York City have disappeared. As have the ones from early December, where they were looking at Christmas trees together, wrapped up in matching hats and scarves with sickly sweet loving gazes cast toward each other. Nothing in November, when Talia had started coming to games and he had posted something with a corny caption along the lines of her being his biggest fan. No carousels, no story highlights, and when she checks his following list, Talia is nowhere to be found. 

“Huh,” she mutters, going into the search function and trying to hide from her best friend that Talia is already one of the options there. She really needs to clear her history before that lands her in trouble. 

Her latest post is a photo dump from Christmas, Talia with her family, as well as a few other pictures of her in New York throughout December, no sign of Nico in any of them, and he hasn’t liked it. Hasn’t commented his usual red heart. She has no qualms about checking her story - she and Talia were never introduced, she’ll have no idea who she is or care that she’s viewing her story, and she’s a model with thousands of followers, Poppy isn’t sticking out to her at all - and squints to read the text over a video of fireworks before realising it’s written in German. She isn’t in New Jersey. She’s already in 2024 in a whole other timezone, and has left Nico behind.

No wonder he’s grumpy.

Not her fault, after all.

When Poppy snaps herself out of sleuth mode, she looks up to meet Nia’s knowing gaze. She looks smug. Like she’s caught her out - and Poppy can’t even deny that she has. “Stalker."

“You started it.” She huffs, pointlessly locking her phone knowing Nia knows the password and throwing it onto the side. 

“I was doing my due diligence as your best friend,” Nia shrugs, picking up the wine glasses as the pair make their way back toward Poppy’s room to finish getting ready. “If we’re heading into a New Year, we are doing so as new and improved women, Poppy. 2024 is the year of reconciliation!”

“I thought 2024 was the year of saying yes.” She mockingly references the mantra her best friend has been spouting since the start of December every time she made a somewhat irrational decision.

“That too, obviously.” Nia smiles big, waiting until Poppy has laid her dress out on the bed to hand her her drink over, holding her own glass out for a toast. “To saying yes to reconciliation!”

“You’re an idiot.” Poppy says, but clinks her glass, anyway. 

“No, you are, Pop.”

Poppy can’t shake the buzz of anticipation as the two girls finish getting ready, the previous pool of trepidation in her gut swirling into something a little more optimistic. 

It means nothing, she tries to tell herself as she fastens her earrings and fans her hair out down her back so it doesn’t get all tangled up in the hoops. Instagram isn’t a reflection of reality, Poppy, you know this.

There are several reasons the pictures could be gone. 

There is a high possibility he has archived the posts because someone leaked the photos of him and Talia. They were on his private account for a reason, and Poppy knows the guys have all had trouble with this kind of thing before - photos from private events being posted all across fan socials because someone had taken screenshots from a hacked account. And she also knows there had been some kind of discourse around Talia online - about some tweets she’d put out years ago or a photo fans had found from a halloween party where her costume wasn’t entirely appropriate - but Poppy had tried not to get lost in it. She didn’t want to form an opinion on the girl without having properly met her, considering they still technically operated in the same circles despite Nico’s insistence that he and Poppy no longer did.

Nico is a protective person by nature - she’s been on the receiving end of it before, so she knows how quickly he can shut things down when intrusive fans become a little too much - and having his privacy violated like that would definitely cause him to be grumpy. 

But with the looming possibility that she is looking too much into such an easily misinterpreted detail, the memory of their earlier interaction floods back to the forefront of her mind.

He had spoken to her. In clear, full sentences. As much as she had let him, at least. Had tried to initiate actual conversation, wanting a back and forth that she hadn’t been prepared to reciprocate. He had wanted to help her, wanted to be around, and for as long as he had been with Talia, he hadn’t wanted any of those things. 

Something has to have happened, another voice chimes in within her. He’s been off all week, remember?

Shut up, shut up, shut up. 

Poppy can’t let herself fall down the rabbit hole of what ifs and hypotheticals. Not anymore. She’s spent the last 4 months in her head about the whole thing, and if she’s going to enter the next year a new and improved woman, she needs to learn to let things go.

Saying yes to reconciliation is one thing, letting delusion take over is another. 

She casts a final look over herself in the mirror, fingertips flitting over each of the touch points she wants to check before she leaves. Hair still feels smooth, free of knots and frizz so far, earrings are secure, necklace clasped and positioned right, heels buckled, a couple of rings on odd fingers.

When her right hand brushes her left wrist, her eyes dart over to the jewellery box on her nightstand, where all her favourite pieces are discarded at the end of each day. She knows what is sat in the bottom, has had to ignore its presence every day when she reaches in there to put on her other bits. 

On her right wrist sits a welded bracelet, identical to the one currently wrapped around Nia and her other friend Kelsey’s wrists. The trio had gotten the matching permanent jewellery at a random pop-up one weekend in SoHo, figuring it was the more responsible thing to do than get tattoos to symbolise their friendship, and it has lasted well for being 3 years old. Still shiny, still pristine, still as gold as the day it was fixed to her arm. Still never cut off for the sake of an MRI like her mother keeps threatening she will need. Sometimes she wears a watch, usually one gifted to her by Nia after one of her trips to Japan - gold banded with a mother of pearl watch face, classic and goes with everything - but she likes it more for every day, and doesn’t trust herself not to lose it or break the dial if she’s out somewhere at night with a few drinks in her.

Her left wrist has been bare since September, around the time she stopped reaching out to Nico. Before that, since she had received it on her birthday a couple years ago, it had been adorned with her favourite piece of jewellery she had ever been given. 

Most people gift Poppy silver, and not that she’s ever ungrateful to receive any present, she can’t bring herself to wear it outside of seeing whoever gave it to her. Silver just never looks right. Mixed metals aren’t her thing, either.

But Nico had gotten it right. A gemstone bracelet, pink tourmaline and opal stones dotted along a fine gold Figaro chain, similar to the one permanently enclosed around her other side. She had worn it every day, wouldn’t even take it off to sleep, and had only stopped when she started to feel the true weight of it.

A constant reminder of a once formidable, now broken link.

“Look, I know you said no gifts,” Nico turned to face Poppy as she unbuckled herself from his passenger seat, turning the engine off so he could focus on her for a minute without the sound of the car running in the background. He usually does the same thing when he drops her home, parks up on the street and leaves the car off until she’s safe inside.

“The flowers from the team are very pretty, so you’re forgiven for going against your word,” She gestured towards the bouquet sitting on his back seat, craning her neck to look back and admire them. She had never seen a red arrangement quite as beautiful as this one - the use of tulips instead of roses a nice touch. “They’ll be dead in a week, but I’ll cherish them for as long as I have them.”

When she looks back toward Nico, he’s wearing a shy smile, and when her gaze drops to his shuffling hands, she notices the elongated black box within them.

“What’s that?” She asked, on too much of a high from such a good day to give him a hard time about it, a playful smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as her eyes look back up to meet his. 

“We don’t have to call it a gift if you don’t want to,” he extended his hand out towards her, the box clutched between his fingers. “It can be payback for all the snacks you’ve given me in the last year.”

“The snacks you’ve stolen.” She corrected. 

“Well, when you keep your office stocked with the stuff only I like, is it really stealing? That sounds like a trap to me.”

“I’ve been collecting evidence against you for your crimes. What I do with it depends entirely on what’s in here.” She had tried to shake the box by her ear to gauge the contents. 

“You’ll like it.”

“You sound very sure of yourself.”

“Open the box, Mohn.” Nico’s voice was lower, commanding, and he leaned forward over the console, so close she could probably count his eyelashes if he gave her the time to do so.

The box itself was fancy, bound in black velvet and magnetised like a sunglasses case, so she knew it had to be something nice in there - knew he wasn’t pranking her with team merchandise or a bobblehead version of him for her desk like Jack had tried to give her. 

She tried to shrug off the heat of his gaze as she pried it open, never enjoying opening gifts in front of the giver, but her mind went blank as she looked down at what he had gotten her.  

The stones in the bracelet matched that of one of the rings she already owned and wore every day, an ornate opal ring passed down from her late grandmother. There were pink gems in there too, and she knew as soon as she saw them what they were. 

“It’s your birthstones, right?”

She nods, unable to form any words yet, passing the box back over and holding out her left hand. Most other people she knows don’t pay enough attention to notice she wears gold everyday, and Nico knows her birthstones. “Could you put it on for me, please?”

Nico clasped the chain around her wrist, taking her hand in his and angling it a few ways to make sure it was the perfect fit - loose enough to move around and reposition with ease but not enough to fall past the base of her thumb. “Is it okay?”

“It’s beautiful, Nico.” She smiled softly up at him, watching his eyes reflect the dim ambient light in the car. “I’m never taking it off.”

“You probably should around water,” he had chuckled, bashfully, looking down and breaking their gaze, “I found it in a market back home, I’m not sure how durable it is.”

Poppy knew real gold when she saw it - knew the shimmer of natural gemstones and the shine of genuine opal, the stone on the bracelet mirroring that on her ring that she knew was antique and valuable. And although she didn’t care if it was expensive or not, she understood what he was trying to do. 

He hadn’t just stumbled across this on some street market.

Poppy reached over to grab either side of his face, leaning across the console and planting a firm, loud kiss on his forehead, chuckling slightly to herself when she pulls away and he wipes at where her lips had just been in faux disgust. “I’ll look after it, I promise.”

“Happy Birthday, Mohn.”

“Thank you, Nico.”

She had found herself admiring the bracelet every time it caught the light, and when she had met up with her mother days later to celebrate her birthday with her family, the authenticity of it was confirmed when she had heard her shocked gasp - her mom, an expert in fine jewellery, spending the entire evening fawning over it as if she was jealous it wasn’t clasped around her own wrist - and had spent the evening fighting off questions about who had gifted it to her. 

She shouldn’t wear it tonight, she thinks. That would be a bad omen - an assumption that one conversation between the two of them was going to immediately put them on the straight and narrow path back to being friends again. 

But it’s just a bracelet - a gorgeous one, at that, and Poppy has it in her head that she’s one beautiful accessory short of perfection. She marches over to the jewellery box, opening it up and picking the bracelet up from where it has its own compartment. No one will even notice she tells herself as she manages to clasp the metal around her wrist with one hand, it doesn’t mean anything.

She is about to enter the year of saying yes, after all.

“You good to go?” Nia asks from the doorway of Poppy’s bedroom, Poppy’s phone stretched out for her to take.

“Let’s go.”

Poppy: omw stresshead

Jack: finally!!!!!! 

Poppy and Nia arrive to a party that is well and truly in full swing. It’s crowded, Jack having invited all the team and a quite lot of the staff, and everyone has brought a plus one, so Poppy is glad she overcompensated for him when she ordered all the drinks and food. She's also glad Jack and Luke had overcompensated for space when picking out an apartment meant only for the two of them.

The girls had ubered over from Poppy’s apartment despite it being so close, partly due to the almost freezing temperatures in the midst of winter in New Jersey and partly due to the amount of wine they had consumed when they were getting ready.

Poppy is tipsy enough that her previous anxiety around coming has quelled for the most part, but not so much that she is unsteady on her feet. 

She’s has a sociable kind of buzz - not that she isn’t usually sociable - that makes her slip into conversations with ease and without much thought about what she needs to say.

She has introduced Nia to whoever she has talked to so far, her best friend holding her own in conversations too, and, attached at the hip, they have immersed themselves into random discussions with the guys, flitting between the different groups that had formed before they got here.

They joke with Luke about Jack torpedoing through the apartment checking in that everyone is having a good time.

John Marino cracks a joke about how on earth Jack has managed to lure Poppy out of whatever hole she’s been crawling into after work, and Nia joins in, affectionately jibing that 2024 is the year Poppy renounces her life as a recluse. She doesn’t usually take well to being the butt of the joke, but she’s happy her friend is getting on with the guys, and the rosé has now managed to fog up the part of her brain that takes offence to little things.

She chats with Holtzy and Jesper about their Christmas spent in each other’s company, not having the opportunity to do so in the week when she had been working. She talks to Dawson about his brief trip back home, to Curtis about his sons and coos at all the pictures he shows her of them in their cute little Christmas get-ups.

She reaches a point where she doesn’t even remember why she hadn’t wanted to be here.

She has built such great relationships with the guys on the team over the years she has worked with the Devils - those friendships extending to their significant others, too.

And it’s only a matter of time before she is pulled into a group of the girls. It’s been a while since she’s been able to catch up with them, having not spent too much time with any of the team outside of work for so long. She is introduced to the new faces, is flashed the sparkling new engagement rings she had only seen on instagram, and is practically given a play-by-play for all the things she’s missed since she truly had dropped off the grid to them.

It is Jesper’s partner, Nicole, who has the guts to open the gossip floodgates. It starts off innocent on her end, telling Poppy about how she and Jesper had hosted Christmas at their place for some of the European bunch, which she already knew after her conversation with Alex and Jesper, and how she had been stressing about how many people she was going to have to entertain. She mentions the amount of food she had to cook, especially considering the amount of hungry athletes in attendance, and then says, “I am thankful Nico turned up alone, after all, though. We ran out of chairs, I almost had to have people standing to eat.”

“Nico went to Christmas alone?” Nia’s ears have clearly perked up at the information, along with the few of the other girls, who all lean into the circle - a telltale sign, if any, that they have stumbled into a juicy topic of conversation.

“Yeah, him and Talia are done.” 

“I knew it!” Nia yells in triumph, pointing at Poppy with a too loud, “I told you so!”

Poppy pinches her best friends finger until she drops it, the other girls giggling at her outburst. Thankfully, not too many eyes have been cast their way, the steady thump of the music overpowering their conversation. 

“You didn’t know anything,” Poppy rolls her eyes. “She just stalked his instagram.”

“Yeah, sure, I stalked his instagram,” Nia scoffs, “His instagram which his girlfriend has mysteriously disappeared from, Pop, doesn’t take a genius to put 2 and 2 together!”

Poppy really doesn’t want to be having this conversation again. “He probably archived the posts, Ni.”

“Nope. They’re done. Deleted.” Nicole shrugs, “No chance we’ll be seeing her again.”

“Why?” For someone who doesn’t want to engage in a gossip session about the object of her own problems, Poppy sure has had her interest piqued there.

“She dumped him like 2 weeks ago.”

They had literally just been on a romantic trip together, Poppy remembers, why would she dump him?

“Over text.” One of the other girls adds.

“What?!”

“Nia!”

“Sorry!” Nia grimaces at her previous volume, this time definitely attracting attention. “Over text?” She whispers to the circle of girls, who nod in response. “What a bitch.”

Poppy’s stomach feels tight, like her insides are cringing at the realisation of what she’s engaging in. The girls continue to talk around her, but she can’t focus enough to make out words, guilt clouding her senses. 

She doesn’t want to talk about Nico - not like this, at least.

She doesn’t want to dissect the breakdown of a relationship he clearly cherished - enough to squash their own. Doesn’t want to pick apart what went wrong, or map out a timeline of how and when things fell apart. 

She doesn’t think she could even if she did want to, because all she can do is think about those pictures Jack had sent her earlier, and about how she’d shut Nico down before when he had maybe tried to talk to her - potentially wanting to open up to someone.

As much as she hasn’t been that person for him in a while, she has always wanted to be, and so she can’t help the shame that gnaws at her. Wondering that maybe if she’d had the nerve to take a proper look at him when she’d seen him earlier, or at any point when she’d been in his vicinity and ducked around corners or hung her head to avoid him in the past couple of weeks - if she’d taken notice of him, just once - she’d have been able to see through him. 

She’s been so wrapped up in the way she’s been feeling, the way she has been hurting, that it hasn’t occurred to her that he could be hurting, too.

Maybe not for the same reasons, but hurting, all the same.

“I’m gonna get another drink.” She mutters out quietly, excusing herself from the group and ambling through everyone to get to the kitchen. 

“Why do you look like that?” She hears as she’s looking through the different bottles littered atop Jack’s countertop. “Please tell me you’re having a good time.”

“It’s not quite the depression session I was promised,” Poppy pouts mockingly over at her jittery friend, trying to fix whatever Jack had seen on her face to question her. “Are you having a good time, Jack?”

“I am if you are.” He reaches out for one of the bottles in front of her, twisting off the cap and taking a swig straight from the bottle of Jim Beam. Poppy grimaces at even the thought of how that tastes. The poor kid is wasting his night away stressing when he should be enjoying himself, she thinks.

“You’re sweating.” She observes.

“Yeah, well, I think I’ve hit 10k steps checking in on everyone.”

“Everyone’s having fun, you should relax.”

“Not everyone,” Jack sings, clearly having found some liquid courage in his gulp of hard liquor. 

“99.999% of your guests are having a great time.”

“You know me, Poppet, I’m nothing if not a perfectionist.” He swings his arm around her, guiding her away from the counter until he can point towards the far side of his apartment.

Nico is stood with a few of the other guys - Curtis, Dougie and Timo. He’s listening to their conversation, nursing a bottle of beer in hand, looking between them as they speak, but he’s not engaging in it. Not talking back, only just smiling when the rest of them laugh. 

“If I’d have known you’d break him, I never would have sent him to help you earlier.”

“Yeah, I never thanked you for the ambush,” she shrugs out from under his arm, walking back to pour herself a drink, mixing herself a makeshift Paloma with what’s on the counter - tequila and grapefruit juice with a wedge of lime to try and jazz up the plastic cup. “You ever thought that maybe his bad mood has nothing to do with me?”

“No.”

“Jack, we’re-,”

“Not friends. Right. And the Pope’s not really a Catholic, and the Earth is flat.” Jack mocks.

“You know, I’ve always had my suspicions Luke would be the Flat-Earther in your family.”

“He is. He also thinks the world is run by lizard people.”

“Weirdo.”

“Total weirdo.” Jack chuckles, almost losing himself. “Stop trying to dodge the real issues, here, Poppy.” The lack of any childish moniker is Jack’s way of attempting to be stern, he doesn’t resort to it often, but when he does, Poppy tends to fold.

She’d tried her best to avoid broaching the topic of Nico at length with Jack. He’s his captain, his teammate, his friend, too, and it hadn’t felt fair to vent her feelings about the whole situation to someone he was equally, if not more, close to. 

There was also the minor detail regarding the voice inside her telling her Nico never cared about her in the same way that stopped her from opening up about her disappointment and hurt out of sheer embarrassment. The potential that she was mourning a friendship that never meant as much to him, and doing so to other people who saw all along what she was too naive to notice. 

But that hadn’t stopped Jack from trying to eke out information from her the whole time there had been a noticeable tension between the two of them.

He’d try and initiate conversation between them in group settings, often getting one or two word responses before one of them excused themselves. He’d invite either of them to plans he had with the other person, and there was even a stupid group chat he’d tried to form that Poppy quickly archived and ignored after Nico never responded to Jack’s clear attempt to reel them both in.

“You should talk to him,” Jack pushes, sticking to his guns and rooting for the revival of their relationship. “He’s had a rough couple of weeks, could really use a friend.”

If Poppy Jensen is motivated by anything in life, it is the crippling guilt that Jack knows just how to spark up.

“So I’ve heard. Maybe you should go check on him,”

“Don’t be annoying.” Jack frowns. “I know it sucked that he dropped you before, he’s an idiot and I won’t back him up for it, but you can either mope about it forever and both suffer, or suck it up and move on.”

“Go check on him, Jack.” Poppy speaks through almost gritted teeth.

“Poppy,"

“Don’t be a dumbass.” She sighs. “Be a good host, maybe see if he needs to get another drink,” she enunciates her words as much as she can, and her eyes widen suggestively, waiting for him to catch on. 

“Oh!” Jack exclaims, shooting back with a slacked jaw as realisation washes over him. “Yeah, he looks thirsty! Great idea, Poppy!”

He dashes off, bumping straight into someone and getting mildly distracted as their drink spills down his front.

Poppy mutters a profanity to herself, not able to watch the absolute train wreck of a man in front of her.

This is where making spur of the moment decisions gets you, she thinks, but her own thoughts are drowned out by another voice inside her head - one that sounds a little too much like her annoying, inebriated and loud best friend. This is going to be the year of saying yes. Yes to growing up, yes to moving on, and yes to olive branches offered to her from pouty Swiss hockey players who are clearly going through it right now and don’t need her to be stubborn about her forgiveness. 

She tries to busy herself in Jack’s kitchen, making quick work of straightening out all the drinks and throwing away some of the discarded cups - anything to avoid looking over to where she knows Jack is being his obnoxious self.

She can practically hear him from where she stands, not knowing lowkey if it smacked him in the teeth. Poppy’s asked me to lure you to the kitchen or Poppy’s absolutely desperate to speak to you, Cap.

Annoying.

“Hi.”

Unlike earlier in the day, Poppy allows herself to truly take Nico in when he stands in front of her, this time. 

He’s dressed in all black, a dark sweater and dark jeans, no hat for once though - his hair has grown out enough that it’s at the length he usually gets frustrated with it and hides it under a beanie or a backwards cap, but tonight he hasn’t, unless he’s taken one off and discarded it somewhere. It is a little unruly, but more in the way he might have been running his hands through it all night. And he hasn’t shaven in a few days, she can tell - the darkened formation of a shadowy stubble frames his jawline and runs in a slightly jagged line below his cheek.

“Hey,” she attempts a warm smile when she notices him chewing at the inside corner of his mouth, nervously anticipating a response. Her own heart is thumping so hard in her chest it almost feels like it’s echoing. “You want a beer?”

“Yeah,” he nods, stepping further into the kitchen so he’s on the same side of the counter as her. “Jack just stole mine straight out of my hand. Thanks.”

Of course he did. “He’s a strange boy.” She says, wanting to distance herself from his behaviour. If she’s being fair to herself, she hadn’t asked him to be a freak in his endeavour to send Nico over here - he chose that path, himself. 

“Very.” Nico affirms, taking the bottle out of her hands by the neck to avoid touching her. “He’s asked me seven times already if I’m enjoying myself.”

“Yeah, I don’t think we should let him throw another party for a while, it makes him go weird.” She watches him smile as he takes a sip from his drink. “Are you, though? Enjoying yourself, I mean.”

She doesn’t remember talking to Nico ever making her feel like this before. Like an uphill climb to figure out what to say and still only coming out with unfamiliar small talk. But she can give it time, she thinks. Maybe it just needs time. They just need to warm up to each other, again.

“Yeah, but I want to make him sweat a little, so don’t tell him I told you that.”

“I won’t.” The smiles they share are familiar. Knowing. Like they’re the only two people in on a joke. “He said you’ve been off all night.”

She only realises once she’d said it that it’s almost word for word what Nico had said when she saw him earlier in the day. She wonders if he remembers the same thing, wonders if Jack had said something similar to Nico to prompt their run-in. If he had been worried about her in the same way she was starting to worry about him.

“Is that why he sent me over here? For you to scope out the reason for my bad mood?” He tries to keep his tone lighthearted, as Poppy’s has been, but she can tell it’s an effort not to sound bitter. There’s a disappointment that presses obviously on his posture, shoulders dropping.

“Cute how you think I’m at his beck and call like that,” she leans against the counter behind her, wanting to send a message through her body language that she’s settling in for a conversation, instead of avoiding one like before. “He’s worried about you, I think.”

“And you’re speaking to me now for his benefit?”

“No.” She tries not to frown at the accusation. Maybe his back is up after their earlier interaction. All she can do is own up to her actions. Growing up. Moving on. Accepting olive branches from pouty Swiss hockey players. Maybe even offering one of her own. “I feel bad for being a bitch to you before. You were trying to talk to me and I was shutting you down.”

“I didn’t think you were being a bitch, Poppy.” He leans against the counter that is perpendicular to her. 

“Oh, I’ll try harder next time, then.” She makes an attempt at a joke, and relief washes over her when he breathes out a chuckle. “I was for sure trying to blow you off.”

“Yeah, I got that from your two word responses.” He jokes back. 

It starts to feel like progress. A silence falls between them, and it isn’t uncomfortable, per se, but she doesn’t quite bask in it like she used to. Her muscles don’t relax the same and her worries don’t entirely ease up.

She glances over at him, able to take a good look as he stands with his arms crossed, looking down at the floor as if in deep thought. And, not for the first time in her life, Poppy wishes she could read Nico’s mind.

Nico

Nico is cursing every day he has spent in the cold, away from the warmth of Poppy Jensen. How he’s survived this long, he doesn’t have a clue, but he wishes more than anything he’d worked to fix things so much earlier than now.

It’s not the looming deadline of midnight that’s making him feel like this - he knows deep down that he’s placing an unnecessary time limit upon a reunion - but the instantaneous relief he feels whenever Poppy’s eyes meet his, and she keeps them there, looking straight through the privacy film he’s wrapped himself in for so long. He’d forgotten how good she was at that - making him feel deeply seen with one glance.

It’s the relief he felt when she’d smiled at him - fully, properly smiled; eyes crinkling slightly in the corners, soft, balmy lips stretching and cheeks rounding - or when she’d casually fallen back against the counter, feet crossing over each other at the ankles, showing him she had no intention of running away from him anymore. She’s even facing away from everyone else, not actively looking for a way out. It’s like a flashed out version of the Poppy he had only managed to catch a glimpse of earlier. 

He wishes he could have felt this sooner, the absence of the consternation that has clouded his every thought lately brings a welcome comfort. He feels like he’s taken his first deep breath in months, and he’s greedy with it, filling his lungs with everything she can offer. Snark - albeit with less bite than before - sarcasm, jokes, even the littlest offering of pity she seemed to give. He doesn’t have much time for anyone else’s attempts at empathy, but with her he doesn’t care, he’ll take it. With Poppy comes genuine concern, and that means she still cares.

That had been a little hard to gauge before, her avoidance and indifference blurring together, and her lack of emotion had stung, but he sees it better now. Sees it clearer - how she is consciously making an effort to make him feel better.

He doesn’t entirely know why, doesn’t think he deserves it.

“Did you have a nice Christmas?” He asks in an attempt to shift the conversation, not quite ready to attempt to tackle the behemoth elephant in the room - not with everyone around, at least. Although as soon as the words leave his mouth, his toes curl at how he’s now engaging in small talk with her.

Poppy scrunches her nose in a wordless answer, and he feels himself smile before he realises he’s doing it. “It was pretty boring,” she shrugs, “I had dinner with Nia and her dad and then came home, watched some football and snacked myself into a coma.”

Nico frowns, thick eyebrows pushing together as something akin to a fiery guilt bites away at the pit of his stomach. He doesn’t like the idea of Poppy being on her own for the holidays - she’s usually so tied into a routine around this time of the year that it doesn’t seem right. “You spent Christmas alone?”

“My parents went to California to see Oli and his family.”

“And you weren’t dragged along, kicking and screaming?” He asks. She shakes her head and gives him one of those smiles again - and pride swells in his chest at how well he knows her. 

Nico finds it strange how much comes flooding back to him when he gives himself the opportunity to think about her. To think about all the parts of their lives they had shared with each other, and all the little details about her that were ingrained within his memory as much as details about himself. Recalling tidbits of information about her comes to him as effortlessly as breathing.

“I’m a big girl, now, I can make my own decisions about where I spend my holidays, thank you very much.”

“I hope that’s not what you said to your mother.”

Nico can’t recall a single person in the world who intimidates him as much as Priscilla Jensen, and he has constant face-offs with amped up, aggressive, mostly 6 foot-whatever hockey players on a regular basis.

That woman is scary, but no one can handle her better than her daughter - he’s witnessed it first hand.

The first time he had ever met Poppy’s mom had been an unfortunate, unplanned accident. He’d been returning from a roadie, and Poppy had loaned him her headphones after his AirPods had given up on him mid-workout the week before. He could have just bought a new paid, but he’d run into her on her way out of work before the team were about to leave, and when he’d mentioned he was about to fly cross-country with no music, she had taken pity on him. She’d placed her headphones around his neck, telling him they had a full charge and should last him until he was home.

And they had. He’d gone straight from the team bus to her place after they’d gotten back from the airport - not much of a detour, her apartment not out of the way on his usual journey home - and when he knocked on the door, he was a little shell-shocked when her mother answered. 

A lot of things about the woman before him immediately intimidated him to the nth degree.

The way she somehow seemed to look down upon him, even from a stature that was inches shorter than his own. The way she was dressed, prim and proper, not a wrinkle in her fancy dress, somewhat out of place in the doorway of a Jersey City apartment. The way she so easily made her distaste of him obvious from the second she laid eyes upon him. Dread had consumed him, like he’d stumbled into a lion’s den and the only exit was immediately blocked behind him. 

“Who are you?” She had asked. No hello or can I help you? Just pure distain and an eyre of being inconvenienced by his mere presence.

“Oh, I’m Nico,” he stuttered. “Is Poppy here? Poppy Jensen?” He was starting to think he had to have the wrong place, and had seriously just ruined this woman’s day by knocking on her door and interrupting whatever sacrifice she was making to the gods behind closed doors to keep her youth. She was going to sacrifice him, next. But, there was no mistaking the relation when he took a proper look. The slope of her nose, the curve of her lips, the unique shade of her eyes, he was definitely in the right place. “This is Poppy’s apartment, right?”

“What do you want with her?” Her glare was just as accusatory as her tone, like he could ever be worth a second of her or her daughter’s time.

Nico’s throat was closing up. As captain of the Devils, he had faced some hard press in his time Having to deal with media after back to back losses, organisation restructures, poor performances, and dancing around admitting to injuries for himself and his teammates - but he hadn’t had to answer to anyone like this in a long time, and he was seconds away from apologising, forgetting how to speak English, and bolting back down the stairs before he heard Poppy’s voice. 

“Jesus, Mom, cool off,” she had sighed, coming into his field of vision behind the scary woman before him. “This is Nico, he’s here to whisk me away into the sunset and elope so I don’t have to answer to you guys anymore.”

Nico’s eyes widened. If she didn’t have a reason to hate him before, she sure did now. Thanks, Poppy.

“That isn’t even remotely funny, Poppy,” her mom snarled, disgust evident in her tone. “You have 5 minutes before we’re leaving.”

She had stormed off then, the echo of her heels clicking against the hard wood floors of Poppy’s apartment echoing until they eventually dulled when Poppy came out into the hallway and closed the door behind her. 

“Hi,” Poppy gave a bright smile, as if Nico hadn’t almost just been traumatised.

“I just came to drop these off,” he had gulped, with an alarmed look to make sure she had definitely closed the door and he was safe. He handed over the headphones, as well as a cookie he’d got her from the airport. “Did I do something? Has she gone to put some sort of generational hex on my family back there?”

“You didn’t give her your last name, did you?” Poppy asked, her eyes widening in mocking horror. 

“Not funny.”

“Don’t worry about her,” Poppy scoffed, “She wouldn’t waste her evil energy on such petty curses. She’s already forgotten you exist, bud.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” He shuddered, “I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody that so outwardly hates me within seconds of meeting, before.”

“She’s like that with everyone, I wouldn’t take it personally.” Poppy tears open the wrapper to the cookie before bringing it up to her mouth and taking a bite. She hums in appreciation.

“What, even you?”

“Especially me.” She covers her lips as she speaks around the mouthful of gingerbread. When she’s finished, she gives a gentle smile, reaching out to pat his arm, thankfully. “Thanks for the cookie, I’ll let her know who’s to blame next time she’s over and I’m like half a pound heavier.”

“Maybe I should take that back,” he frowned, reaching forward only for her to pull her arm back, out of his reach. 

“Nope. This is my only sustenance for the evening. Who knows if she’ll let me even look at the hors d’oeuvres.” She shudders. “I’m resigned to a night of sparkling water and biting my own tongue.”

“If you need me to make up some emergency for you to leave whatever hell it is you’re being taken to, I could call you. I’m really good at fake crying.”

“I bet,” Her eyes shone with mischief, biting back a grin. “Unfortunately I don’t think she’d care enough about your wellbeing to let me leave, but I appreciate the effort, thanks, Cap.”

It was only the rush of blood to his cheeks and the need to divert his gaze from the teasing glimmer in her eyes that brought his attention to Poppy’s attire. An ankle length, satin cocktail dress fit like a glove to Poppy’s figure, the bright magenta colour not something he was used to seeing her in, but complimented her skin tone perfectly, nonetheless. Her hair fell in loose waves, one side tucked behind her ear, and her makeup was soft - cheeks flushed, lips balmy and a small spattering of barely-there shimmer in the corners of her eyes, making them sparkle even more than usual. “You look nice, Mohn” He hadn’t tried to make his voice sound any kind of way, but it had come out lower, breathier than normal, and he couldn’t quite pinpoint the new feeling that began to brew in the pit of his stomach. 

“Thank you,” she had given a bashful smile, reaching her left hand up to tuck her hair behind her other ear, too. The bracelet on her wrist had caught the light, the same one he had gifted her on her birthday a few months before, the same one he hasn’t seen her without, since. The beat of the peaceful silence that fell between them was harshly interrupted by the shrill call of Poppy’s name from within her apartment, accompanied by a banging on the other side of the door. Instead of shouting back, Poppy just banged back on her side with her elbow. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Only if you can figure out how to break the curse she’s for sure put on me back there.” He pouts, “Otherwise, it might be too late.”

She smiles big, and his lips automatically mirror the curve of hers, arms instinctively opening for her to shuffle into his embrace. “I’ll see what I can do to save the fate of all future Hischier children.” She promised as her arms wound around his back. “Bye, Nico.”

“Bye, Mohn.” He’d pressed his lips to the top of her head before backing away, making sure she was somewhat safe inside before making his way back down the stairs.

Nico had left her that night to whatever her unspoken, fancy plans with her mother were. He’d driven back to his apartment, unpacked from his roadie, and had spent the evening alone, watching soccer and eating meal prep. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed at the fact he had ended up viewing Poppy’s instagram story a mere 40 seconds after she had posted it. 

She had been with Nia, still dressed up, both of them wearing goofy smiles as they fed each other greasy pizza outside one of the hole-in-the-wall vendors in the city across the river.

That had been maybe 18 months ago, and it concerns him only slightly how little has changed in that time.

He’d done the same thing tonight, before Poppy got here. Sat on his own, busying himself by doing nothing on his phone, refreshing instagram in the hopes she or Nia might have posted a story and he could tell where she was outside of checking the door every couple of minutes for her arrival. 

He wonders, as he remembers back on how easily Poppy had handled her terrifying mother, if things are still the same with them, but refrains from delving too deep into that whirlpool, and instead asks, “She didn’t blow up on you, then?”

“Worse, she gave me the cold shoulder for a week.”

“Sounds like the dream.”

“You’d think so, but my mother’s version of the silent treatment is surprisingly loud.”

He doesn’t know how he hasn’t noticed it before now. He’s had his eyes on Poppy from the second she came in. He’s watched her hug everyone she speaks to, has watched her hands gesture around whatever story she’s telling, watched her cover her mouth when she laughs a little too hard at someone else’s joke. But it’s only as she lifts the plastic cup she’s holding to her mouth and takes a sip that he catches the glimmer of the gemstones adorning her wrist. 

She wasn’t wearing it, earlier today. 

Hasn’t worn it in some time, he doesn’t think.

But she’s wearing it now - the bracelet he had given her for her birthday 2 years ago - as pristine as they day he had bought it. She’d worn it so much before that he had thought she’d permanently fixed it to herself, but she’s always taken good care of it. Always cherished it, despite him selling her short on its value.

And he knows he shouldn’t read too much into it. It’s just a piece of jewellery. But it isn’t. It never has been. Not to him, and certainly not to Poppy. So he can’t stop himself before the words tumble out from between his lips. “I think I need some air."

He looks up from her wrist to meet her eyes, now widened in confusion. “Oh,” her lips form a pout around the exclamation, her feet uncrossing and her back straightening until it’s no longer resting against the side. “Okay.” 

She seems disappointed, and he immediately realises that she thinks he means without her. “Would you come with me?”

“I, uh,” she cranes her neck to seemingly look back for something in the crowd of their teammates. “I didn’t bring a jacket.” She’s frowning when she faces him again, and he knows not to take it as another attempt to avoid spending time alone with him. She’s genuinely disheartened at the thought of missing out.

“You can borrow mine?” He suggests.

“Are you sure? It’s barely 30 degrees out,”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, like he even understands Fahrenheit, anyway. 30 degrees sounds decent. Where he wants to go, there won’t be much need for a jacket, but that would involve divulging more information to Poppy than he needs to share, right now. He just needs to get her to come with him. “I run hot, remember?” He swears he sees her blush - tries not to give into the quiver of his lip that’s fighting to curve into a smirk. He feels giddy, almost. “I also live upstairs.”

“Oh yeah,” she chuckles, nervously. “Let me just find Nia?”

“Of course.” He straightens up, “I’ll grab my jacket and meet you by the door.”

Nico had shrugged his jacket off somewhere in the corner when he had come in, and when he goes over to retrieve it, digging it out from a pile of coats that had formed since he got here, Jack rushes over.

“Are you-,”

“I’m having a great time, Jack.” He chuckles, and this time he thinks he means it. “Me and Poppy are gonna go out for some fresh air, so don’t go blowing up her phone when you can’t find her.”

“I would literally never do that,” he snorts in denial, backing away and acquiescing immediately, giving up whatever he had come over to bother Nico with. “You kids have fun!”

Nico finds Poppy waiting by the entrance to Jack’s apartment, hands busying themselves by playing with the rings on her fingers. She looks up as he approaches and smiles, accepting the jacket he hands over to her and immediately shrugs it on. 

The jacket is only slightly shorter than her dress, and so her bare legs come straight out from the bottom, but he hopes it’s enough to keep her warm for the time being. It has a fleeced collar, a thick overall lining, and he knows that if she puts her hands in the pockets, the soft sherpa interior will melt her icicle fingers in no time. And if her legs do get cold, he’s almost desperate enough for her approval that he will shuck off his pants and give them straight over to her.

He holds the door open for her, and when they get over to the elevator, he presses the button. They wait side by side in a comfortable silence, arms bumping each other as she sways very slightly on the spot. He tries not to get into his head about how she doesn’t move away. They stand similarly when they get into the elevator - he reaches forward to press the button at the top, and falls back into place beside her, her shoulder brushing his bicep.

“We’re going up?” She asks. “I didn’t think you could get on your rooftop.”

“They opened it up back in September,” he tells her, “It’s nice, there’s seating and tables up there and everything.”

“Oh wow, you’re gonna get hypothermia.”

“I’ll be alright,” he breathes out a laugh as the doors open, and he gestures for her to step out before him. He buries a hand into his pocket for his keys, pulls them out, and reaches around her to unlock the entrance to the roof - only accessible to a few people in the building if they have paid for the privilege. There’s a single flight of stairs before they make it up there, and they climb them side by side before he pushes the door open. He’s grateful for the lack of wind, tonight, but she’s right. It’s cold. And as much as he’s used to temperatures like this, he’s thankful he had the foresight to prepare for this earlier.

Nico guides Poppy with a hand on her back to the far corner of the rooftop, toward the pergola that surrounds the outdoor seating area. 

The city provides a decent glow at this time of night, but the pergola is lit up with ambient lighting strips, and it looks cosy. The couches have plush cushions, and the weather hadn’t been too bad the past couple of days, so it’s all dry. 

“Wow,” Poppy steps away from Nico, toward the side, hands reaching out to grasp the railings as she looks over what she can of the edge of the building. There’s a safety perimeter that stops her from being able to see to far if she wants to look down. “This is a lot higher than my roof.”

“It’s a great view, huh?”

“It’s incredible.” Nico had been on her rooftop with Poppy a couple times, and she has a great view, herself, but hers is blocked by some of the taller buildings to either side of hers on the waterfront. “You can see my apartment from here.” She points, and Nico’s eyes follow the direction of her finger. “We’ll have to get binoculars and test if you can see me through all my windows.”

As ridiculous as that suggestion is, Nico’s heart beats erratically at the idea of it. He can picture the scenario in his mind, clear as day. She’d get him to call her to test the theory, ask him if he could see how many fingers she was holding up, and flip him off from the window in her bedroom.

He laughs out loud at the thought.

“Do you come up here a lot?” Poppy burrows into his jacket, stepping away from the side and toward the seats.

“Not really,” he denies. He’d only gotten a key from the building manager today. He’d put in an urgent request after he’d seen Poppy and Nia, and realised Poppy wasn’t going to get to fulfil her New Years tradition. He’d wanted to do something nice, and as he takes in the wonder and amazement she exudes, he’s happy he did. There had been a few scenarios of how he’d get her up here, and he’d actually settled on a plan to give Nia the key and tell her to take Poppy up before midnight, but he much prefers how this is playing out. “Hasn’t been the weather for it.”

“Right,” she sighs, sinking down onto one of the couches, sitting with her knees tucked beneath her and her feet hanging over the edge so her shoes don’t touch the cushions. “Because the weather now is ideal for a rooftop gathering,”

Nico lifts the top of the storage trunk that sits beside the couch, reaches in and retrieves the blankets he’d stashed in there earlier when he’d scoped the place out. He throws one over to her and chuckles at the surprise that spreads across her face when she catches it. 

“I take it back,” she bites back a smile as she unravels the blanket, wrapping it around her shoulders and making sure it spreads to cover her legs. Nico waits until he’s sat before he wraps his around himself. He sits beside her, inclining his body towards hers, one leg under himself and elbow leaning on the back of the couch. When he drapes the blanket over himself, he does a quick check to make sure there isn’t any bare skin of Poppy’s he can see that he’d need to extend his cover over. “I never asked about your Christmas.”

Nico thinks that maybe he doesn’t hate small talk as much - talking about anything with Poppy is good enough. “It was pretty boring,” he echoes her earlier sentiment, smiling down at her when she glances over and rolls her eyes.

“C’mon, I know what you European guys are like when you all get together, Holtzy said a few of you were over at Jesper and Nic’s place.”

He lets himself wonder for a second if she’d asked about him, specifically, when she was talking to the other guys about how they spent their holidays. If she had still cared enough to consider where he had spent his Christmas, and wasn’t just asking now to fill in any potentially awkward silence or reroute the conversation from anything else.

“It was good,” he offers, vaguely, “I do think I was bringing the vibe down, though, wasn’t really in the Christmas spirit.”

Christmas at Jesper’s hadn’t been as bad as he’d made it out to be in his head in the build up to the day - he’d had a good time in the end, but he had left just after dinner; told everyone he was still tired and aching from their game the few days before. He’d paid no mind to the pitiful glances cast to him from throughout the group, and he would never in a million years admit to any of them that even in a room full of people that he did genuinely care about and love being around, he couldn’t shake the feeling of loneliness that crept up every time he glanced around and saw his friends all loved up with their partners and having the time of their lives.

He realises that he and Poppy had both been alone on Christmas, and maybe if he hadn’t have been such a royal idiot about things, he could have invited her along and had a chance to truly engage in all the festivities and joy.

“Never had you down as a party pooper, Nico.”

“You sound like Jack.”

“I take great offence to that.”

“I got dumped.” He may as well get this part of conversation over with, he’s going to struggle to skirt around it much longer. He almost expects surprise on her end, shock or disbelief, but Poppy just nods in understanding.

“I heard.” She purses her lips, shuffling until her elbow is against the back of the couch, a mirror of his own position, and she can listen with intent. “I’m sorry, I know how much you liked her. It seemed like you two were perfect for each other.”

Nico can’t hide the frown that takes over. He doesn’t feel like they were perfect for each other. Doesn’t remember trying to make it seem that way, or remember telling anybody in any kind of detail how much he liked being with Talia. He doesn’t quite understand how she had come to that conclusion. 

When she takes in his expression, her shoulders tense. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry or anything.”

“No, you’re fine, I don’t mind talking about it.” With you, goes unspoken, but lingers quite obviously between them, he hopes. He nudges her elbow with his, narrowing the space between them in the process. Pry away, he thinks. He’d much rather have Poppy poke around at the inner workings of his brain than anyone else. She’d be able to make much more sense of it. But she needs to do so with the right assumptions. “It’s just that it wasn’t really like that, I don’t think.”

“Oh.” She sounds almost disappointed, he thinks - disheartened, maybe. It almost seems like she wanted them to be good, wanted him to be happy, and seemed unsettled by the idea she had the wrong perception of it all. The idea brings back a constricting feeling in his chest. “Breaking up around Christmas must be like torture, either way,”

“The returns policies aren’t too bad this time of year actually.” He shrugs. He feels like enough air has cleared between them that he can attempt a joke to pick the mood back up. He doesn’t really want to talk at length about his break up - he’s processed it, he thinks, despite the short passing of time since it’s happened. He wants to talk about Nico and Poppy - he’s finally ready to now.

That doesn’t change the swell of pride he feels with the way she looks at him, like she hadn’t expected him to make light of the situation, and doesn’t know whether it’s okay to laugh until his own cheeks dimple and his eyes crinkle with mirth.

She scoffs out a genuine chuckle, and he can no longer feel the cold seeping into his bones; the blanket covering him is just a mere coincidence, it’s the warmth that radiates from Poppy that does the trick.

“That’s bleak,” she shakes her head, biting back a full smile. 

“I thought it was funny.”

“You can’t joke your way through heartbreak, Nico, trust me,” She gives a familiar sigh, and he wants to tell her his heart hasn’t been broken, but that’s a partial lie. It just hasn’t been broken for the reason she thinks. “My dad always says that’s like patching up a boat hole with a bandaid.”

“You Americans have such a way with words.” He smiles, fondly. “I think it’s easier to see the situation for what it was now that I’m out of it.”

He notices that pang of disappointment make another quick appearance before she has the chance to check herself. She seems to let his words stew for a second in her brain before forming her next question. “If you aren’t cut up about the breakup, why have you been so down these past couple weeks?”

Nico tries to remember all the times he had seen her in that period. The time she was speaking to Jack in her office, a couple times on the plane to and from away games, he’d maybe caught a couple of glimpses of her around the Prudential Center when she’d been working - but all those times, he had never managed to catch her eye.

Had she been looking out for him, too?

His lips part to form a response, but words fail him for the time being, and all he can do is tilt his head and try to properly decipher that look about her that she reserves just for him.

Poppy’s eyes glow in the subdued light, reflecting the faint beams that line the structure around them, and they narrow only slightly as he stares at her for a prolonged moment. 

He’d been a little harsh earlier when she’d tried to measure the scale of his mood - thinking it was only because she was pushed by someone else to do so - and she had said  that Jack was worried about him, but maybe she was worried, too.

He doesn’t want to worry her. 

He wants to explain things, but a sudden barrage of emotions seems to hit him at the concern etched upon her soft features. Months worth of inner, suppressed turmoil wreaking havoc within him like a tornado of grief, stress and longing. He had maintained an unwavering calm about himself for the last two weeks - or, so he had thought.

Whenever anyone had directly asked about the breakup, he’d given short, unattached answers, never showing his hand, never revealing his true feelings, and now he can feel it all climbing its way out from the depths of his chest. Feelings from before then, even, when he had been struggling in the months leading up to that God-forsaken text from Talia, and he’d had no one to talk to, clawing their way up, scratching his throat and burning the back of his mouth like acid that he needs to spit out before it has the chance to poison him. 

He wants to tell her none of it had been purposeful. How he’d slipped straight into routine, at first - pre season had been rough in comparison to his somewhat slack summer training schedule, and he and Poppy never used to hang out much at that point in the season anyway. In the beginning, it hadn’t felt like he was doing anything wrong by not reaching out.

He wants to tell her about the first time he’d seen her after he came back from Switzerland, at the end of summer get together the team had thrown for the whole organisation in the Prudential Lounge, and he’d seen her slink in through the side doors with one of her colleagues from the foundation to sneak some food from the buffet. He remembers the nerves creeping in, and how something had kept him rooted to his side of the room where he would have normally gone straight over to greet her. He’d introduced Talia to the team as his girlfriend that afternoon, and had tried to focus more on making her feel welcome than tracking where Poppy had ended up.

He wants to tell her about the pages he’s formed on his Notes app - wherein sits a bunch of drafted messages to her from the past week. Even stupid stuff that his mind has lingered on - mundane questions he wants to ask in order to catch up with everything in her life. Does she still have a weird food fixation for Caesar salad and French fries? Is she still trying to force herself to like matcha? Is she still thinking about getting a cat? Did her super fix that cracked tile in her bathroom that she keeps cutting her foot open on and complaining about it every time she has to walk more than usual?

He wants to tell her about how he was so focused on being the best player, the best captain, the best teammate, the best boyfriend, that’d he’d forgotten how to be a good friend. He knows that if anyone had no expectations of him to be the best, it would be Poppy, and so the excuse seems a bit pathetic when he reflects on it.

Instead, through a lump in his throat and the welling of tears in his eyes, he tells her, “I’ve missed you,” and hopes it’s enough to answer her question, and for her to understand the insurmountable weight of those 3 words.

Nico anticipates from the quiver of her bottom lip and the rounding of her eyes that she gets it.

Poppy offers him a kindness he knows he doesn’t deserve when she sits up straight and takes the weight off of where she’s leaning on her elbow. She shrugs the blanket from over her shoulders and throws her arms around him - barely giving him a millisecond to even fear a negative reaction.

Her grip around his shoulders is tight, burrowing her face into the crook of his neck, and he tries to match her fervour with his own embrace, arms looping around her ribcage and cradling her back. They both seem to squeeze, his hands stroking soothingly up and down her back, and he’s not sure if the erratic thumping he feels in his chest is his own heartbeat, or that of hers pressed against him. 

They stay together like that for a good minute, maybe more, her body relaxing a little more into his until she’s practically in his lap, knees overlapping his. 

Nico can’t remember the last time he felt this calm.

It’s only when he hears the hitch in her breath that he pulls away. 

He feels like he’s taken a hit to the gut when he gets a good look at her face - eyes glassy with unshed tears, her lips pursed as she bites at the inner corner of them. 

“I’m so sorry, Mohn,” he mutters softly, thumb raising to swipe at her cheek when a tear falls free. “Please don’t cry.”

“I don’t understand what happened,” she laments, “You just shut me out. It’s like you went home for the summer and decided you didn’t want to be friends, anymore.”

“That’s not,” he begins to rationalise it before realising he can’t. He barely has an explanation he can voice, not one he has been able to bring himself to understand, yet, anyway. “I wanted to come over and speak to you after like a week of being back, but I just-,” his throat starts to feel tight again, but if he doesn’t get this out now, he might not get it out at all. “Every day that passed that we didn’t talk, that I didn’t reply to your texts or come find you, things just got worse. And then, after a while, no matter how much I needed to reach out, it felt like I’d left it too long.”

He knows it’s a cop out of an answer, and that she deserves more, but she also deserves for him to be at peace with what he wants to say, and he isn’t quite there yet.

“You could have just come to me and told me you were being an idiot.” 

“That doesn’t feel like it’s enough.”

“It can be for now.” For now. She gets it. “I missed you too much to hold a grudge.”

“Really?” Nico can’t fully comprehend why she would go easy on him. She’s well within her rights to cause a scene - kick and scream and never speak to him again - but instead, she gives a remorseful shrug, glassy eyes casting down to her lap.

“I don’t want to lose you for the sake of my pride, Nico.” She admits. “And I could have fought harder, too.”

He knows he’s long lost the right to ask such a selfish question of her, but he can’t help himself. “Why didn’t you?”

“You seemed happy.”

The thud of his heartbeat rattling around his brain turns into an incessant ring, like the kind that people use to measure the frequency in which they stop hearing noise. His bones feel like they’re buzzing, and his lungs feel like they’re plummeting somewhat throughout his body, his breath stuttering in his chest.

Maybe this is her way of dishing out some unintentional cruelty - he can’t argue that he doesn’t deserve it - implying she would have, in any way, suffered herself, just because he seemed content in shutting her out. It hurts to acknowledge that he had let her hurt for so long.

“I wasn’t.” He feels slightly better having said that. It almost makes up for what he’d chickened out of saying before, hopefully saying more than the 2 words might suggest.

Maybe if they’d been speaking all along she’d have seen right through him - got a glimpse behind the curtain of the charade he’d been putting on since the summer. Maybe it would have eased the weight of whatever was sitting on his chest for the past 4 months, would have made everything just that little bit easier to have shared his true feelings with someone who had no expectations of him other than to be there.

He has missed having someone he can be honest with. Has missed not having to keep up appearances, or make himself bigger or smaller to fit someone else’s needs. 

And when Poppy’s fingers wrap around his, looping through them when they open up at her touch, and the bracelet she wears tickles softly at his own wrist, it washes over him just how much he truly had missed her. He’d said it before, but there aren’t enough ways to to say it and accurately convey the depth in which he feels it. Having her here, now, makes him feel whole in a way he hasn’t for a long time, and he hadn’t realised all the time he’d known her just how much she calms the storm within him.

He pulls her hand back over his shoulder and circles an arm around her waist, tugging her body back into his embrace until she’s cuddled into him and he’s leaning into the back corner of the couch. There’s no point in which she fights the movement into the position, and when his muscles settle into the cushions, she follows suit, her head resting on his chest and her legs thrown over his. 

The hold they have on each other now feels a lot more secure, and he manages to wrangle the blankets back over the two of them, covering her legs so they can stay like this for a little longer.

“Thank you for letting me back in.”

“Thank you for coming back to me.”

Neither of them make any effort to move, content in each other’s arms, not caring about the time - even when the distant calls of a countdown stagger in the air, stirring a pulse of anticipation, and muffled cheers erupt from the surrounding buildings, a symphony of joy washing over the city like a tide. Not even when the sky ignites into a breathtaking explosion of colours, the fireworks painting their world in vibrant hues, do they break free from their tranquil embrace.

“Happy new year, Mohn,” he whispers into the crown of her head, placing a soft kiss into her hair.

“Happy new year, Nico.” She whispers back, looking up at him to give him a heart-stopping smile that had his chest aching in an entirely new, almost welcome way.

taglist: @alwaysclassyeagle @bunbunbl0gs @idgaf-if-youre-here @youflowerr-youfeast @thearchersstuff @bellsdi0r @wonderheartz @jjgsunflower @butterflies35 (sorry if your tag hasn't worked btw)

> Chapter Two