#IDC YOU'RE NOT LIVING WITH EACH OTHER ANYMORE

[beefboyandbabygirl]

Pretend It's Someone That Came for You (18+)

pairing: coworker!wonwoo x fem!touch-starved!reader

genre: coworker au, office au, strangers to lovers, angst w a happy ending, smut (MDNI!!), fluffy fluffy fluff fluff

description: you're lonely. you're so lonely you think it might actually kill you. but when wonwoo transfers to your office, he might just change that fact.

warnings: unprotected sex (do NOT pls my babes), soft dom!wonwoo, sub!reader, v loving sex, praise (f. receiving), confession of love, riding, fingering (f. receiving), pussy rubbing tihi, pet names (pretty girl, good girl, baby, darling, etc), VERY angsty beginning, yn is truly v sad so DO NOT READ THIS if u fear it will make u sad!!, they say i love u unrealistically fast but i had to do it, yn uses sex to feel less lonely/ends up feeling more lonely, relatable yn frs, slightly dramatized symptoms of touch-starvation (?), kinda boring plot but idc bc its CUTE AF

quotes from my creative director (@joshibambi): "finally!!" (she was fed tf up), "stanley is the most stanley man ever. i hate him but i love him.", (more r coming she actually didnt have time 2 read this and i didnt want to wait with posting.)

wordcount: 10.0k

a/n: this story was supposed 2 have more angst, like it was supposed to have this whole misunderstanding, but it just didnt feel right, it made me sad, so instead this is a short n sweet love story xx

Sometimes you think that the loneliness might kill you. 

You weren’t always like this. You remember being a sociable, joyful child; half-broken bikes and teddy bears and booster seats. You remember pigtails and popsicle sticks and Power Rangers, and what came after that? Being a moody teenager, became being a moody adult. High school became college, and college became an office job that served to keep you alive, even if it didn’t feel like being alive. College wasn’t that bad, you remember, so at what point had you mistaken isolation for privilege? And at what point had you gone too far into that tunnel-hole to turn back? 

 You must’ve been cursed, you think, putting on your outfit for work in the deadly still apartment. Dust dares not move, dares not give you hope that you are not alone. 

You must’ve been cursed, you think, coming into work to a string of half-hearted, mumbled greetings. Your office is off-white and black and gray and everyone inhabiting it is also off-white and black and gray, and their skin is faintly oily and sickly and their faces are dragging down as if the very earth was reclaiming them and you think that you fit in here better than anywhere else. 

You must’ve been cursed, you think, when you spend your day writing emails and organizing documents of information into different formats to send to huge corporations. Sometimes you fantasize about the other end of the transaction. Maybe their office is warm and brown with an accent of blue, and maybe people put hands on each other's shoulders, when they tell one another they’ve done a good job. 

Yes, there’s no other explanation, you think, and can’t even muster the energy to feel bad when you blame some old hag from your hometown. You think she must’ve conjured up the worst ingredients, something cartoonishly evil, and a spell befell you, sunk into the crevices of your skin and dug into your pores.

You lie on your couch with a glass of wine and the television going, but you’re not really listening. You don’t think anyone has touched you in six months. You’re not even sure you’re real anymore. You swear, you could live with no one hearing you out, because you’re not sure you’d have anything worthwhile to say, but you just needed someone to touch you. To reach out a hand and confirm, you’re real, you’re right underneath my fingertips, and I’m squeezing your shoulder, and I see you, and I feel you right here.

Sometimes you think that the loneliness might kill you.

Lying physically very still, you still feel like you’re scrambling, fighting the clutch of the curse, and tugging on metal chains. Maybe that’s where all your energy goes. 

What do normal people do when they feel this bad?

Sometimes you leave open the window, and when the wind tugs at your door, you pretend it’s someone that came for you. 

Tug, tug, tug. The door rattles against its hinges when the fatally empty sky brings to you, in outstretched palms, the wind interlaced with glimmers of hope. 

There’s never anyone at the door.  _____________________________

This particular day starts like any other. You wake to your alarm and you put on clothes and you get ready and brush your teeth. Then you trample down to the bus stop. The sky is smothered by a duvet of heavy rain clouds. The rain hasn't come yet, but you know it will. Your fingers become stiff and hard, where they adhere to the polyester strap of your bag, massaging it. The bag is cold and dead.

The bus ride is by far the greatest part of your day. It’s quiet - early enough that you’re only accompanied by a few other souls. You rest your head on the window, vibrating gently against the curve of your forehead, and watch the people in the street. 

 The bus hums a gentle tune and snakes down the streets. Then you’re there, and whatever solace that it offers you under artificial light and mediocre, felted seats is gone. 

Your office building is maybe the most depressing place on earth. It’s no glamorous feat of architecture. It is but a large, orange-y, puke-y, brick square, and the building is shared between yours and the Forester company. You don’t talk to the Foresters, but you know they eat cream cheese bagels on their breaks and throw birthday parties and once you saw the branch manager squeezing a salesman’s shoulder and telling him he had done a good job. His fingers squeezed down and the movement of the fabric revealed a shoulder pad built into the suit. You remember thinking it was a shame that it blocked the real touch. 

Today, you walk up the stairs with heavy steps and you idle into the office building, eyes cast down to the dirty, gray carpet. You begin the long trek into the back of the building where your desk is located.

“Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Tina.

“Morning, Tina,” you mumble back.

“Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Gerard. 

“Morning, Gerard,” you mumble back. 

“Morning.”

“M-”

Wait a minute. 

Your greeting falls short. You don’t recognize that voice. Stopping in your tracks, your shoes scratch on the rough carpet, and lift your head to see him. 

The first thing you notice is that he’s the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen. He looks like he jumped out of an underwear commercial; he’s all strong jawline, sharp eyes, round glasses on his pretty nose, neatly trimmed, short dark hair stretching down the planes of his face. He’s wearing a button up (usually you wouldn’t even register the clothing your coworkers adorned, but something about how he wore it was noteworthy), a tie draping over the dress shirt, and formal slacks hugging his thighs. 

He smiles at you sheepishly, hands nervously smoothing down his thighs. 

“I’m Wonwoo” he says curtly, nodding to you. “Just transferred from the Wallingset branch.” 

You nod. “Right. Wallingset,” you nod more. “Nice to meet you. I’m Y/n.” 

“Nice to meet you too, Y/n.” 

Something about your name on his lips makes your heart flutter. It’s pathetic, you know, but his peregrine being in his office chair, spilling your name from his pink lips makes you feel a little more real. You look at him and then you nod again-again, kicking your legs into gear again and walking the last stretch to your desk. 

You can see the back of his head from your orange-wood desk. Papers and sticky notes are scattered among the desktop. The monitor watches you accusingly, all big and square and black, waiting for you to open it up and begin working. Your eyes linger on him for a moment. Then you work. 

A few hours pass on emails and translating information from a company into a comprehensive sheet. However, today you’re having a hard time focusing on work. 

This is not new. 

Sometimes you briefly talk to a man at the grocery store, and your mind will wander to him for next week, wondering if he’s thinking about you too, imagining yourself cuddling with him, watching movies, imagining him telling you it’ll all be okay. Sometimes you briefly talk to a man on the street, sometimes it’s even a date, but whatever the case you obsess and you dream and you always end up alone. 

Today the victim of your depraved mind is Wonwoo. The guilt is easy to push away. You feel sorry for yourself. You think you deserve this. You think you can’t survive without this. And so you imagine him hugging you, stroking your hair, and you imagine him falling in love with you, and you imagine not being alone. Your fingers rest on your keyboard. It’s old and mechanical. You think it’s from a yard sale, probably an old woman whose children moved away. It’s plastic, and it curves inwards underneath the pads of your fingertips. The keys are cold and dead. 

You fully zone out, eyes blearing into the back of his head, but you don’t really see it, your mind has traveled elsewhere. You guiltily imagine his hand between your legs, on your chest, straddling him, kissing him. And it’s not rough, it’s loving, because in this world he loves you, and he’d do anything for you, and you don’t have to be alone again.

You don’t love Wonwoo. It’s not some magical love at first sight, it’s not a romance book, it’s real life. You’re lonely. You need this to survive. 

“Hey, Y/n?” 

You snap your head up. Maybe you were still daydreaming. But you recognized the voice well and true, and it was Wonwoo, leaned over your desk, hands in his pockets.

“Oh, uhm, hey-” your voice is shaky and you quickly rush to compose yourself, hands moving frantically and uselessly to glide papers over one another and, then, realizing that there was no point to your movements, stilling and looking up at him, cheeks flushed. “Hey.” 

Wonwoo smiles gently. “Uh, you know, I was wondering,” he looks around the office, as if surveying the area. “If you knew where to get a good lunch? I don’t know this area at all, so..” 

He trails off, looking at you expectantly for an answer. Now that he’s standing before you, it’s much harder to ignore the guilt you feel. You wanna gnaw at your nails until they’re nubs, you want to crawl under your desk and cover your eyes. Does he see how red your cheeks are? 

“Uhm- well- I don’t- I eat a packed lunch, so I’m-” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I’m, uh, no expert,” you giggle awkwardly and watch his gentle smile drop into pursed lips. “But! Uh- I hear the- the hot dog stand, uh, just a little down the street is good!” 

“Really? Maybe I should try it,” he contemplates, smile returning to his lips. “Would you mind showing me this mysterious hot dog stand?” 

“Uh-” 

Just seconds before you were thinking of his fingers in your pussy, and his hands caressing you, and him making you feel loved. He’s standing before you and he’s a totally normal guy, and you feel like shit. You feel like shit for using this fake image of him to comfort yourself. You can’t be around him, can’t convince yourself that maybe this’ll turn into something more - not when you always end up alone. Your brows furrow in determination.

“Actually, I have to, uh, get this done, so-” you gesture vaguely to your monitor. 

“Right! Yeah,” Wonwoo seems embarrassed, biting his lips and nodding. “It’s, uh, just down the street?” 

“Yeah, to the right when you walk out the building.” 

“For sure. Thanks,” he doesn’t even look at you then, just waves you off half-heartedly and starts trailing down the office. His shoulders are incredibly broad and his belt wraps tightly around his small waist.

You feel like shit.  _____________________________

Why is no one else cursed? 

You look out of the window, lying on your bed after work. Everything is very still and unmoving - your whole apartment feels like it’s knotted in strings, tightened until everything is snapped into place, and if you move the wrong muscles, the invisible hands will let go and everything will fly and hurdle through your home, and you can almost hear the sound, like the hard, empty sound of throwing a bowling ball and getting a strike. 

No one else is cursed. People crowd the streets with friends, family, partners, and they’re talking and laughing. You rest your head in the windowsill, a lone spectator in the window. The glass cuts you off from the streets. 

The afternoon after daydreaming the way you did about Wonwoo is always hard. Your apartment seems intent on suffocating you. Your daydreams serve as a reminder that you’re alone, that you truly have no one, and the act itself is so humiliating, you sulk into a glass of red wine and sometimes you cry. What do normal people do when they feel this bad, you wonder again, sobbing in your bed and spilling wine on your nightie. 

Nighttime falls early while you’re crying. You weep on and off, hug your knees, eat a microwave dinner and watch TV, light casting onto your pathetic form on the couch.

And in your most vulnerable state is when you most easily slip into your old habits. 

You press an old contact in your phone, one you’d tried to steer away from recently. You wipe mascara from your reddened cheeks, you wear pretty lingerie, and you lie, completely empty, void of any warmth, on your bed, awaiting.

It’s the first time he touches you in months. When his hand finds your shoulder, you shudder terribly. Sorry, he says, and he seems taken aback. Just ignore it, you plead, just ignore it. He does so, unsurely, and every time his hand grazes over your body you shudder and sob and every time he hesitates, asking if you’re okay, you cry at him to continue.

It feels good while it’s happening. Skin beneath your fingertips, hands on you, a face close to yours. You and him are the only thing moving in the apartment, synergizing on your bed, conjoining and writhing, and for just a moment, you don’t feel so alone. 

When you’re done the anonymous man stands back up, sliding on his pants in the late hour. He says it was great and you hum. But then he looks around, hesitating on every old piece of furniture, on every photo on the walls, and lastly on you.

“What?” you ask, lying naked in your bed. He grimaces at you, as if signaling that he can’t quite figure it out himself. 

“I don’t know,” he says slowly, hands on his newly-clothed hips and surveying the corners of the room, where shadows pool. “It feels haunted in here.” 

He leaves. 

When the warmth is gone, the bile rises in your throat. Old habits die hard, you think, and you feel totally empty. You couldn’t go on like this. It was nights like these you began to feel like a martyr - sacrificing yourself for a brief escape. Because when the door is closed with a click and you’re alone again, you feel yourself trembling and your heart is glowing red in the empty astral plane. Brief, easy forms of pleasure are often the most harmful.

It feels haunted in here. You remember his words, and before you finally fall asleep, you wonder one thing. You wonder if you’re already dead.  _____________________________

The next day is a pain to overcome. You’re slightly hungover, slightly sore, and very uncomfortable. But you comply with your routine, and you enjoy the bus ride, and when you get to the office everyone greets you. 

 “Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Tina.

“Morning, Tina,” you mumble back.

“Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Gerard. 

“Morning, Gerard,” you mumble back. 

“Morning, Y/n,” Wonwoo says. You look up from the carpet carefully, flashing him an apologetic smile. You hope he can read its intention: Sorry about being weird yesterday. You think he got it.

“Morning, Wonwoo.” 

And then you’re landing yourself at your own desk and beginning work once more. It’s boring, but today you ward off the daydreams and you focus, and you’re getting an exceptional amount done. 

The clock on the wall (off-white, but yellowing near the top) reads 12:28 when your boss, Stan, approaches your table. He’s half bald, and his suit is much too loose, and he has a ladder of wrinkles climbing his larger-than-life forehead. 

“Hey, N/n!” he calls, so loud that a couple of heads turn at the commotion. You’ve asked him several times not to call you that. 

“Stanley,” you breathe, tapping a stack of papers on your desk to neaten the pile. You wonder if you were in trouble, but if his smile is anything to go by, you’d guess not. 

“My favorite woman in accounting!” 

“Hehe,” you laugh half-heartedly. You catch the eye of Wonwoo, glancing over his shoulder with a small, teasing smile. You smile back. 

“I have a big- oh wait, wait, new guy, uhh, Jeon? Come over here real quick!” Suddenly his solid fingers waft the now scared Wonwoo over. The spectacled man’s shoulders hunch up as he moves off the chair, nodding respectfully. Wonwoo stands beside Stanley at your desk, and you focus your attention on Stanley, hoping to not get too lost in the idea of Wonwoo again - you were doing so good today. 

“I have a big job for you, and I thought you could work with Wonwoo on it,” Stan moves his hand up to cup the side of his mouth, as if telling you a big secret, “seeing as he was a bit of a star over in Wallingset.”

Shit. The guy you were daydreaming about was working with you? Wonwoo laughs, embarrassed, but you hardly have time to catch it. You can’t do this. Yesterday you were thinking about him fingering you while looking at you lovingly!

“We have a massive, new client! Just dropped a big competitor of ours, and they want us to do their six month report!” Stanley seems genuinely excited about this, so you can’t help feeling a little guilty that you’ll be a gobbering, slobbering mess, sitting beside Wonwoo on this. 

“That’s great-”

“I know! So, my two star members in accountancy, I’ll hand this off to you. The data should be coming into your emails soon,” without letting either of you react, Stanley hunches over, like a coach does before a little-league baseball game, wrapping his arms around both of you and Wonwoo. “You got this, troopers!” 

Stanley claps his hands on both of your backs, so hard you jerk forward at the movement, and then he bounces off to the elevator at the far end of the room. You sigh heavily from the interaction. It’s quiet for a moment, while you fiddle with the papers in front of you.

“What a guy,” Wonwoo muses finally, thin fingers resting on the edge of your desk. You giggle, unable to look him in the eye for fear that you might remember how you’d thought about starting a family with him. “Yeah.”

You and Wonwoo settle into an unoccupied meeting room, and it’s all very professional. Markers and post-its, trying to find the best way to structure the report, excel sheets to categorize and overlook data, double check numbers. 

However bad you think it’s going to be, you’re wrong. Wonwoo is easy to talk to - he’s quiet, but he’s intelligent, and he understands how to bring on conversation, even when you fold in on yourself like a used napkin. 

“Yeah, we used to steal signs from our neighborhood,” Wonwoo admits halfway into a conversation about your hometowns. “I don’t think that’s gonna fly anymore.” 

“Why stop now? You’re letting societal rules hold you back,” you joke, and the two of you laugh, and it’s so pathetic, you’re certain you haven’t laughed this much in years, and the conversation has lasted maybe 20 minutes. 

“Well, I could show you the craft, you know, it’s a delicate process-” 

While Wonwoo talks your phone buzzes and you absent-mindedly pick it up, reviewing the notification.

Your grin drops. Faintly, you hear Wonwoo stop talking. He tilts his head to study the way you frown at the screen. “What’s up?” he asks. 

It’s the guy from last night and he’s asking if you’ll be available again tonight. 

Maybe it’s how you could almost forget it - how you let yourself into positions that would hurt you, just to feel seen and heard and touched. Maybe it’s the dichotomy of that encounter and now, talking to Wonwoo, and having the laughter steal away the loneliness. But you’re reminded so terribly of your position. You’re reminded that this, too, will end, and that the loneliness will return. You’re reminded that once the shift ends, you’re alone again. 

Suddenly you’re a thousand daggers all pointing out. You shield yourself. 

“Uh,” you trail off, putting the phone down again. “Just some guy.” 

Wonwoo’s eyebrows raise. “Boyfriend?” 

“No!” you say quickly. “No, he’s, uh. Just some guy.” 

A pause. 

“Okay,” Wonwoo says. You don’t even remember where you left off the conversation. You bite your lip because everything is all agony. The table is cold and dead beneath your hand. 

“I’m thinking we group these together,” you say, eyes now tuned to your screen and fully submerged back into your work. Work. That was all that could cover your beaten down, cursed self. 

The rest of the shift you feel Wonwoo looking at you carefully, as if he’s trying to read you. You don’t talk about yourselves anymore, no more banter, no more witty comments. You structure the report, and try to ignore how his eyes laser you open. You don’t like it. You feel like he can tell you’re a pathetic, lonely woman and that you have nothing and no one. You feel like he can sense the curse upon you. 

This would be torture.  _____________________________

It is not torture. 

The next day, to your surprise, Wonwoo is nowhere to be seen. You wait 5, 10, then 15 minutes in the meeting room you’d camped in, before you begin working on your own. It’s slower without him, but you manage. 

You can’t help but slightly worry about him. It feels stupid. You know you’re putting too much emotion into a person you’d known for two days, but you can’t help it. You wonder if he’s gotten hurt or injured, or if maybe he hates you and has transferred back. You think even Excel finds you pathetic. 

You sit there for three hours, among the ruins of paperwork and your open laptop, running your hand through your hair and typing in sentences that mean nothing, and the wallpaper is off-white and yellowing at the top, and the blinds are closed to the meeting room. 

Around 1 PM the door to the meeting room is opened, wood smacking against the glass that surrounds it, and Wonwoo stands in the doorway, slightly out of breath. You snap your head up to him, like the jerk of a lifeless doll, suddenly interrupted from a very disorganized Excel sheet.

“Hi, shit, sorry,” he gasps, slinging his bag off of his shoulder to sit down next to you. 

“Are you okay?” you ask immediately, and Wonwoo nods blindly, pulling his laptop out of his bag. “Yeah,” he says, cheeks slightly flushed and licking his lips. “My cat- my cat needed surgery, she got sick last night, it was an emergency.” 

You nod in understanding, “it’s okay-” 

You can hardly get the words out before Wonwoo rolls his chair back, wheels resounding hollowly on the floor, so he can look at you clearly. “I’m really sorry about this, it was not nice of me to leave you alone with this.” He gestures vaguely to the scattered papers, and you shake your head.

“It’s okay, Wonwoo, I get it,” you say reassuringly, peering up at him through your lashes. “You don’t need to worry about it. You’re here now.” 

Wonwoo seems less intent on personal conversations today - it’s probably because he was so late, and now is trying to make up the time. But it’s okay, in fact you’re somewhat relieved, because it dampens the false hope that blooms in your chest, whenever he asks you about your life. 

Even if you and Wonwoo work hard and quietly, you slip into the late hours of the night in an attempt to keep on track for your schedule. Outside the windows that separate you from real life, the sky turns orange, and then dark, muted blue, and stars begin dotting its impressive stretches. People begin to leave around five, and by the time you and Wonwoo finish all your work, you’re the last ones left on your floor of the office. 

Wonwoo lets out a loud sigh when he finally finishes the second segment of your report, and the both of you slump back in your seats. 

“It’s so fucking late,” Wonwoo limply throws his hand in the direction of the window. You smile a little, looking out. Smaller buildings spawn geometrically from the ground, and every once in a while someone walks by with their dog, spotlighted by the stretch of street lamps that stand outside the parking lot. “I really am sorry about this, you know. Really ruined your night,” he says quietly. 

You shake your head. “It’s fine, I had nothing to come home to anyway.” 

There’s a pause.

Wonwoo looks at you intensely. Oh shit, you realize, was that too obvious? Was that too pathetic? Has it just clicked that you’re a loser that no one wants? You nervously look back at him, but there’s no malice in his eyes. A totally unreadable expression adorns his features, where he’s leaned back in his leather chair, legs spread invitingly. You look away, feeling dumb. 

“At least we followed our schedule!” you say. Wonwoo snorts.

“Yeah, thanks to you. If you hadn’t completed so much before I got here, it would’ve been hopeless.” 

Now it’s your turn to scoff, blushing lightly and looking at the linoleum flooring. “I don’t know about tha-” 

“Seriously, Y/n, just take the compliment,” Wonwoo reaches a hand over, and you watch its movement.

It’s like time slows down, not like the movies, no, like you can stop time with the heavy weight of your gaze, pinning his muscles in place. But you can’t, and it lands on your shoulder with a soft thud. Fuck. His hand is warm and alive on you. 

“You did so well today, I-” Wonwoo cuts himself off, because suddenly you’re trembling. 

He feels your body shuddering and jerking under his hand, like the wind rattles your door when you leave it open, and he can’t see your face behind a curtain of hair, but he hears you gasp, and, fuck, you look like you’re sobbing. 

The man from last night had become so hesitant when you reacted this way. When your body trembled and shook and when you cried, but Wonwoo seems to understand. He peers at you from above the rims of his glasses, and his hand stays put right there on your shoulder. 

“Y/n,” he whispers, so sincere it causes a pathetic squeak to escape you. What must he think of you? The thoughts spiral and you can’t control a single one of them, they dance like freed souls in your head, and you can’t stop the spasming of your muscles, and you know you look so pathetic beside him right. “Y/n, look at me.” 

You don’t. You can’t. You can’t because there are tears spilling from the rims of your eyes, and rolling down your cheeks, wet and glossy. Besides, you’re an ugly crier. 

“Look at me,” he says seriously, finger tightening on your shoulder. You try to steady your breath and calm your tears, before you obey and begin to turn your chair. The simple motion requires so much effort - it’s like the air has become so thick, that the friction against your leather seat slows you down. 

Finally you turn to him, eyes first resting on his knees, then, carefully, traveling up to his face. He’s frowning. 

Your face is reddened and your eyes are puffy, your cheeks are shiny and you chew your bottom lip in a futile attempt to keep the tears at bay. 

Wonwoo looks genuinely devastated. The hand on your shoulder softens its grasp, then begins petting your arm, rubbing up and down. The action has you choking out gasps, trembling even more in his hold, and Wonwoo feels the need to roll his chair closer to you, so his other hand can grab yours. His thumb rubs over the back of it, and he lowers his head to look at you. 

“Shh, relax, relax, Y/n,” he whispers, and you try to nod, but it’s so overwhelming; being touched, being seen, being heard, all at once. For months, maybe years, no one has touched you like this - as if they care. Now the feeling is foreign, so scorching hot on your arm and your hand, your body can’t take it anymore. You’re stuck between wanting to lean into his hands, wanting to feel how real you are, and how physically true your existence is, and wanting to shy away. What must he think of you? 

“Y/n,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut to banish the sigh of your sobbing. “When was the last time someone touched you?” 

You hiccup painfully. “Uhm- I- I don’t, ” your eyes are bleary and your lashes are wet. Your lip trembles and your whole body shakes when you try to breathe. 

Apparently this was enough of an answer for Wonwoo, because he suddenly stands, somewhat harshly tugging you into a standing position too, and pulls you directly into the harbor of his arms. 

Instinctively, you wrap your arms around his torso. His chest is pressed flat against yours, so, so warm, when he nudges your head into the crook of his neck, and presses his face against its side, sighing softly into you, and breathing warm air onto your hair. His palms push you into him, soothing your trembling body, and holding you like an anker. One hand travels up to your hair. 

“W-Wonwoo, you don’t have to-”

“Shh,” he quiets you immediately, voice the softest wind of a peach tree. “Just let me take care of you.” 

You do. Wonwoo holds you until you stop crying, and though it must’ve been twenty minutes or so, it feels like no time at all. Standing in his space, breathing in his dark cologne, and letting his heat thaw your dead heart is a totally timeless act. Joy and serenity flows from the places where your bodies touch. When you stop crying, Wonwoo holds you for longer. 

Eventually, he lets you go. 

You step back sheepishly, now much calmer and the red in your face faded. You wipe your tired eyes shyly with your sleeve. 

“Thank you, Wonwoo,” you mumble, voice thick and garbled. When you look up at him, he smiles softly, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says softly, arm extending one last time to squeeze your forearm. Then it falls limp again. 

“I, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” 

“Of course.” 

When you return home, you’re buzzing. Your entire apartment buzzes along with you, things seem to clatter and beam along with the bright, glowing of your heart. You snuggle into bed and nothing is still and even when you’re drifting into sleep, your nerve endings spin in joyful circles, and your feet are a static hum. Suddenly you are very, very real. _____________________________

You’d think the next day would be tense and awkward, and maybe it is at first, but soon enough you’re talking again, more intimately than before even. 

This is Wonwoo’s doing - you know this. You know he’s smart and you know he doesn’t want you to feel bad, so he makes conversation and builds trust between the two of you. You know he hopes you don’t feel insecure. Every word he says and every flick of his eyes is riddled with it. 

The conversation decidedly slows down your progress, so Wonwoo once more suggests staying overtime. You look at him for a moment before agreeing. 

You can’t tell what his end goal is. A chamber of your heart has been revived and rebirthed, and you’re more chipper, more bouncy, but the rest of your heart insists: you’re still cursed - eventually it’ll go back to how it should be. You listen. You try not to get your hopes up that Wonwoo really cares about you. Why should he, really?

Although when you’re done for the day, about an hour after your usual 5 PM, you stand up and begin to pack your things, laptop sliding into your bag and clustering pens in your hand. It’s gray outside, but the sun comes in a single strand through a gap in the smog and the clouds. The wind hoots by the windows, and it smells like the indian you ordered for lunch together. 

You stop your packing, feeling a set of eyes in your back. You twist your head to see him.

Wonwoo is sitting completely still in his chair, slack-covered legs spread open, and he makes no move to collect his own things. He just stares. 

“What’s up?” you quip. You’re slightly nervous. Just before it was all silly childhood stories, college and weed and life before the dead-end job. Now Wonwoo has that unreadable expression on his face again. 

He slowly lifts his hands from the armrest, eyes locked with yours, and claps his palms on the tops of his thighs. 

Your eyebrows furrow. 

“Wha-” 

“Come here,” he says simply. When you stand completely still, like a deer in the headlights, Wonwoo scoffs and rolls his eyes. “What? You think you’re cured because someone hugged you once?” 

“Cured?”

“You’re touch-starved, Y/n,” Wonwoo states matter-of-factly, “you need to be touched.” 

“Touch-starved?” you echo, a bewildered expression on your face.

“We can also just hug, like yesterday,” he suggests calmly. You envy his collectedness. “I just don’t want you to feel bad. So please. Come sit.”

To emphasize, Wonwoo pats his thighs again, patiently. You step away from your bag with hesitating steps, pursing your lips. Your cheeks blaze when you look at his thighs again - they’re so long, and the folds in his slacks stretch down and centralize on his crotch and- You’re being a pervert. 

“Okay,” you squeak and Wonwoo tuts. Why is that hot, you think, why the hell is that hot?

“We can just hug if you-” 

You feel bold.

Without letting him finish, you swing your leg over his, and plop down, straddling halfway down his thighs. You thank God you put pants on this morning instead of a skirt, when you look down at where you rest on top of him. 

Wonwoo is a little taken aback, but when you’ve settled on him, his hands find your waist and he looks up at you with a hum. Your breathing is a little shaky. Once again his hands provide a pumping of golden joy into your body, and more of you comes alive and becomes real, and you smile. 

What had Wonwoo been talking about? Touch-starved?

“What’s, um-” your question is cut off with a gasp, when Wonwoo uses his hands on your middle to tug you closer. You rest on the highest point of thighs that you can without sitting on his dick. Cheeks red and eyes squeezed shut, you hear how Wonwoo hums, pleased. “What were you talking about? Touch-starved?” you whisper, keeping your eyes shut. 

Wonwoo sighs, and once more, like the movement is entirely replayed, his hand finds your hair and pushes your face into the crook of his neck. You sigh against it, enjoying how his arms protect you and hide you from the evil of the world. 

“If you don’t touch anyone,” Wonwoo begins, his voice low bass in your ear, “you become touch-starved. That’s why you reacted the way you did yesterday.” 

His hands run up and down your sides. 

“But- but I’m not crying today,” you say quietly into his neck. Wonwoo hums.

“No, that’s good,” he says. “We can stop if you really want, I just wa-”

“No!” your voice squeaks immediately, and, as if he were running from you, you fist his shirt to keep him close. 

“Okay,” there’s a smile in Wonwoo’s voice. You can’t see it but you can imagine it. 

Comfortable silence. Wonwoo traces patterns on your back and you breathe deeply against the skin of his neck. The two of you function as one living thing, the only living thing left in the office. Chairs are turned halfway, a couple lights are left on. The desks betray the past presence of humans. 

“Wonwoo,” you pip. 

“Mhm?” 

“You don’t have to do this, you know? I don’t want you to do it if you- if it’s just.. Pity.” 

Wonwoo sighs, and you feel the way his torso deflates underneath you. He trails his hand up from your back to tap your cheek. You move back and look at him. 

Your faces are very close, you can feel how your exhales collide and then scatter, hell, you think you could count each of his eyelashes from here. 

“I already told you. I’m doing this because I don’t want you to feel bad. I-” he hesitates for a moment, pursing his lips. “I’ve been there. So I know what it’s like.” 

The thought of Wonwoo feeling like this, like you, is sickening. Genuinely sickening, you feel your insides turn to rot and mold and you frown so deeply, you think your lips might forever lock in that position. 

“I’m okay now,” he reassures, reading you immediately. His hand finds your cheek and he almost cries out at the way you lean into it blindly. 

“How did you-.. I- I always thought it was, like, a lifelong curse,” you say.

“A curse?” Wonwoo grins, thumb stroking over the skin of your cheek. It makes you happy, it makes you feel like your heart will burst. 

“Yeah. I guess I just blamed some old woman from my hometown,” you giggle, blushing a little because, yes, it did sound stupid when you weren’t just echoing the theory to yourself, like playing a team sport alone. 

“You’re not cursed,” Wonwoo promises, tucking your head into his chest. “I’ll help you, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you from now on.” 

He does take care of you. 

Every day you work overtime, and every day when you’re done with work, Wonwoo slides you into his lap and holds you, while you curl up in his chest. Then you talk and you laugh, and you listen to each other's music. His hands run warm up your back and in your hair and on your hips, gentle caresses, deeply intimate. For two weeks you and Wonwoo indulge in this nighttime ritual. 

You have not felt lonely since that night. And Wonwoo can tell. Your skin is warmer and brighter, you smile wider, your eyes twinkle, and there’s energy in every movement. Your body thaws under his warm hands every night, and sometimes when you smile, he gets so happy he could kiss you. 

You realize you like Wonwoo one particular night when you’re falling asleep in your bed and you can still feel the ghost of his arms around you and it lulls you into a deep, dreamless sleep, and when you wake up you smell a little bit like his cologne. That’s how you realize. You like how considerate and how gentle he is, you like how sweet he is to you, you like how he looks when he smiles and when he laughs and you like how much he loves his cat. You like how his arms feel wrapped around you. 

And you like him, and suddenly your apartment is a song that you dance in, and every photo on your walls is smiling and your bed is always warm and so is your heart. 

There’s nothing dead in here, you think, when you cook a delicious meal on the stovetop, sauce bubbling in a stainless steel pan. Nothing haunted about your home or your heart. _____________________________

“We’re almost done.” 

“Mhm.” 

“I can’t believe we’re almost done!” 

Wonwoo looks up, bemused, lips made small and pointed. You’re staring at the almost-done document, scrolling up and down through long and arduous paragraphs. It’s nighttime again - not that you had to stay late today, it was a choice - and the city glimmers brilliantly in the coolness. You and Wonwoo wear sweaters to keep warm. 

“Feels like a lifetime,” Wonwoo murmurs, same smile upon his beautiful face. His cheekbones point out from beneath his skin. 

“Yeah,” you breathe, leaning back. You won’t put your fingers back on the keyboard. Not when it could be done so soon. You look at him, all snuggled up in a brown sweater. “What if..” 

A pause. He tilts his head.

“Well, are we still gonna talk?” you chew your lip dejectedly, feeling a little sad and desperate, but Wonwoo only laughs. It’s a beautiful sound, it’s one you associate with joy. 

“Of course,” he says, as his laughter quiets down. “If you want to.” 

A shy smile forms on your lips. You turn to look back at the computer, but you hear the now-familiar sound of Wonwoo patting his thighs. You flit your eyes back to him, teasingly scolding.

“We’re not done.” 

“We don’t have to be done now,” he shrugs, an equally teasing smile on his lips. You roll your eyes, but, unsurprisingly, you shift over to him, sitting down in his lap. He immediately tugs you closer, fingers searching for stimulation on the seams of your jeans. There’s something different about Wonwoo today, you realize, his touch is more feverish, his fingers dig deeper into the fat of your hips and he looks up at you like you’re a diamond-encrusted chandelier, hanging from the ceiling, all glittering jewels. 

“What’s up?” you giggle nervously. It’s becoming hard to breathe with the way he paws at your hips. 

There’s something in the air between you, but maybe you’re imagining it. Maybe it’s your mind playing tricks on you, concocting the magnetic pull that lingers between you, the thicker, heavier air, that urges you closer. 

He sighs heavily, as if he was dreading this. All of a sudden composed, cool, icy Wonwoo is chewing his lip and avoiding your eyes, looking instead down where your fat gives way for his needy fingers. 

“I, uh, I really like you, Y/n,” his voice shakes. “Would you. Maybe. Want to go out some time?” 

At the last syllable his gaze locks on to yours, and you watch him visibly relax, because you’re fucking grinning. 

Not maliciously, not crudely, not a dime or a dab of evil, only genuine joy. 

“I-I would like that,” you control your smile, pointing your lips in the same way that Wonwoo does and blushing all over. Wonwoo grins too and it’s unbearably boyish. 

“Okay,” he says, as if he can’t believe it. “Okay. Great.” 

The window slams shut, the spell is undone by his hand, the dead defy their only law to bow to his necromancy. Wonwoo is alive and warm underneath you, and you are alive and warm on top of him, thighs pushed up against his and tugging at the fabric of his shirt. Your balloon of heart pops in your chest, and the bone-cage of your chest is filled with helium, that has you floating. Rosy and shiny, your heart beats at twice its normal speed.

There’s a lull in the conversation. It would’ve been a more comfortable silence, if you couldn’t see by how Wonwoo looks down and purses his lips, that he’s itching to say more. 

Sparked by his confession, you confidently snake your hand up to tap his cheek lazily. He turns to you with a loafy smile. “What is it?” 

He breathes out unsteadily.

“You’re-” he closes his eyes. “There’s so much I like about you. It- It makes me feel really bad that you weren’t feeling well, so I-” 

He cringes at himself, one hand pushing away his glasses to rub the eyes underneath them. 

“Can I make you feel better?” he asks vaguely. 

You huff out a laugh. “Are you trying to ask if I want to have sex?” 

He laughs too, behind his big hand. “No. It’s not the same, I want it to be about you!” 

You laugh more, and Wonwoo’s face reappears as he lowers his hand. He looks up at you adoringly, dotingly. He’s smiling.

“I’m being serious,” he says quietly, when you finish. He seems less embarrassed now, more so smug. “I want to make you feel good.” 

He’s paying an awful lot of attention to your hips, which he has not let up massaging and squeezing roughly. 

“Can I..?” he begins, eyes fixed on your hips in his lap. “Can I make you cum?” 

Then, slowly, Wonwoo lifts his hands and gently places them around on your face. His touch is always as soft as a hope-laced wind. He’s warm and he’s alive and he’s holding onto you, and you see it in his eyes: you’re real, you’re right underneath my fingertips. 

“Please.”

That’s all he needs, before he presses his lips against yours.

The kiss is everything you want it to be; because it’s loving. It’s slow, it’s deep, it’s gentle, there’s no tongue, just the soft, warm, real, alive flows of his lips against your own. His hands on both of your cheeks caress your cheekbones gently, and warm air is spilled in the small space between you. He pulls away, panting. 

“I don’t understand it,” he mumbles, before he’s pressing his lips back to yours hungrily. You let out a confused hum, and you have to gently push at his shoulder to back him off again. “What do you mean?” you ask.

“Why you were so alone,” he breathes, transfixed on your lips. “I want to be with you all the time.” 

Before you can respond, Wonwoo grips the underside of your thighs, lifting you and himself from the chair and placing you on the desk. You gasp at the impact when the glass table meets your bottom, and Wonwoo is standing over you, suddenly so tall and so broad, and slimming at the waist. His narrow eyes become hooded behind the reflection of his glasses. His head is tilted down to meet yours.

“Can I take off your clothes, pretty?” 

You don’t answer, only grip the edge of your shirt, tugging it over your head, so your bra-clad chest is exposed to him. He groans at the sight. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles, nimble fingers dancing across your back to unclip the bra, sucking in a harsh breath the fabric becomes loose, sliding down your arms. “Such a pretty girl.” 

“Stop,” you whisper, face warm and red. Your heart has never beat this way. It’s utterly unbearable and addicting at the same time, it’s without rhythm or class, it’s wild. And it’s because he’s looking at you and it’s not just lust. It’s adoration. There are deeper strings to the make-up of his eyes, there are lines connected to his heart, and he’s all flushed.

“What?” he asks. “I’m just telling you the truth.” 

Wonwoo throws your bra on the floor next to him, hands finding the hem of your pants. “Can I take your pants off?” 

You nod, still so shy and abashed, because Wonwoo’s eyes feel like a pink spotlight, and you are bathed in its warmth. He unbuttons your pants and you gently slide off the table to work them off your legs. 

“Your panties are cute,” Wonwoo remarks (it should feel lewd, but he has a hand on your hip, that brushes the bone and he smiles at it). “Thank you,” you breathe, before you’re taking them off too.

Wonwoo doesn’t need to, but he still insists on gently lifting you back onto the table, and he kisses your nose when you’re sitting before him. He’s standing in between your legs, and then he’s looking down at where wetness drips onto the glass table. 

His hand slides down your stomach, resting on the fat of it. He’s smiling, he’s so gorgeous, because he’s smiling the most gentle smile at how wet you are and how it leaks onto the table and his hand is so warm on your stomach, doing nothing, yet turning you on even more than you’d ever been before.

He sighs like he’s carrying the greatest burden on his broad back. “You’re so pretty,” he says, almost exasperated by it. He pinches some of the fat of your stomach between his fingers lovingly. “I can’t believe I get to have you like this.” 

Then the hand on your stomach slides down further. His large, veiny hand cups your pussy, the tips of his fingers just barely teasing your hole. You whimper against him, hands finding his biceps for support. Wonwoo studies you, craning his neck down to peer at your face, while his fingers begin swaddling your folds. 

“You’re so wet, baby,” he mumbles, trying to catch your eye where you bury into his chest. One finger dips into your hole, penetrating slowly and settling knuckle-deep. 

“Wonnie!” you cry out, squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Mmm, clenching down on Wonnie’s finger so hard. My beautiful girl.” 

He begins pushing his finger in and out of you, pace slow and torturous. His other hand slides up and down your body, squeezing your waist then your thigh, then coming right back up to fondle your chest. He pushes your back flat against the glass, so you’re all splayed out for him and you watch him from there, eyes hooded and legs spread to accommodate him. He breathes in shakily at the sight of you. 

“Shit, Y/n. What were you doing hiding all this from me?” His finger picks up the pace, as another finger slips in alongside it. You’re moaning and panting, lips red and hair mussed, unable to focus on his words, when his fingers curl against that spongy spot inside you. Apparently Wonwoo expects an answer though, because he speaks again, voice lower and rougher. “Hm? You didn’t want to go have lunch? What, was it that guy?”

“W-What?” 

“Just some guy,” Wonwoo echoes your past words, emphasizing with a harsh thrust of his fingers. 

“N-No, I- Hng!” you cry out, when Wonwoo’s thumb presses onto your clit. He rubs it torturously. “I-I was embarrassed because I- I was thinking about you!” 

“Oh?” this catches Wonwoo’s attention, as he diligently works his hand within you, staring down at your naked form, fully clothed and tall. “Tell me what you were thinking about, baby.” 

“This!” you cry out, too high off the pleasure to really feel embarrassed about it.

“Pretty, sweet, dumb baby. You were thinking about you whimpering and writhing while I fuck you with my hand, hm?”

“N-No,” you mumble, cheeks aflame. “W-Was thinking about you l-liking me.” 

At this Wonwoo hastily leans over you, pressing his lips onto yours again, and this time his tongue pries open your mouth, wet and warm in the cavern of your mouth. You moan into the kiss, hips canting into his hand. There’s something so desperate about him then, something so eager in the way he crooks his fingers, and how he kisses you, panting and covering your face in warm air. You feel a tight knot in your stomach.

“Cum on my fingers, please, pretty, sweet, baby, darling,” he mumbles into your mouth, rushing out the words before he’s sealing your lips again. 

“God, I think I might fall in love with you.” 

That makes you cum. You cum so fucking hard, clenching around his fingers like an air-tight seal, and your cum spills onto his fingers and his name spills into his mouth. The curse comes out with it, escaping like the air that spills out from an ancient, rediscovered chamber, and dissipating into the night. Your heart is beating and you’re breathing into his mouth, nose brushing his. 

“Good girl,” he breathes, finally releasing your lips and letting his lips fall heavy and wet on your cheek. 

He pulls out his fingers, unbearably wet and slick, and you think for a second that he’ll let you calm down and then maybe he’ll put his dick in you, but as soon as the fingers are out of you, they’re settling back on to your clit, rubbing heavy-handed circles.

You whine, arching your back off the table and wiggling your hips at the overstimulation. His other hand catches your hip and he shushes your cries softly. 

“You can cum again, can’t you, baby? You can take it,” he says, so nonchalantly, while his slick fingers rub you. You cry out. Your legs are shaking. “Think you can cum again from just this?”

“Y-Yes,” you sigh and when you look down, his entire hand covers your pussy, as he pets your clit in circles. He smiles at your words, pinching your clit teasingly. It causes a squeak to escape you, hips struggling against his hold, where he pins you to the table.

“Good girl,” he praises, purring. “Letting me use your pretty pussy like this, letting me make you feel good.” 

His body in front of you prevents your legs from closing, but, God, do they try, knees pinching his thin waist, and hair bunching up on the glass when your face scrunches up in pleasure. 

“A-a-ah!” you cry out. Your hips involuntarily begin to inch away from him, but Wonwoo pulls you back with one strong hand, tutting. 

“Don’t do that,” he mutters, pouting. “You need to be touched, remember?” 

The whole thing is so heart-achingly intimate. The way he stands, still fully clothed and with a huge fucking tent in his pants, simply rubbing your pussy and looking at you with heart-eyes. Seriously, eyes swimming with adoration for you, teasing words slipping from his mouth unable to mask the genuine wonder he feels, at how you gasp and you arch and you clean and you jerk from the simplest of his movements. And your pussy is so warm and wet under his hand, and his body between your legs is so warm, and you cum again from just that; from how much love he looks at you with, and from the fingers crooking to pinch your clit again, wet and swollen underneath his glistening fingertips. 

“W-Wonwoo!” you cry out, cumming again, and your body convulses around his, when it oozes out of your hole. Wonwoo’s fingers gently work you through it. His gaze on you is so intent, so careful and insistent, you can’t bear it, the way he sees you totally lost in the pleasure he brings you. 

“There you go,” he whispers gently, fingers letting up and disappearing from your pulsating pussy. 

“Wonwoo,” you mewl tiredly, pushing yourself onto your elbows to look up at him. He looks at you, so sweetly, so attentively, hands immediately finding your back to stabilize you. “Can I please have your cock now?” 

“We don’t have to-” 

“I want to!” you interrupt him, brows furrowed and lips in a pout. Wonwoo grins at that and though he may deny it, you don’t miss the red that twinges his cheeks. 

“It’s just if you were too tired..-” 

“I’m not,” you say decidedly, and Wonwoo nods. 

“Okay. C’mere then.” 

You’re confused when Wonwoo sits back down in the office chair, fingers working his slacks open. He doesn’t answer to your grimace though, only manages his pants unzipped and in one lift of his hips, peel both them and his boxers down. 

His cock springs free, and your confused grimace is replaced with one of awe. It’s pale and veiny, the head is red and thin, white liquid oozes from it, like melted candle wax. And it’s huge.

You’re too slow to mask your amazement, it seems, because when your eyes return to his face, he’s already looking at you, smiling smugly. 

“Come ride me, baby.” 

You don’t need to be told twice. You slide off the table eagerly, lumbering over to where he’s relaxed against the back of the chair. He looks up at you, all naked and pretty, with a grin. 

The top buttons of his dress shirt are unbuttoned, but he must’ve given up halfway. Either way, the milky plates of his chest are exposed, shining gloriously in the warm office light, and he discards his glasses, face fully exposed to you. He’s beautiful, and you think to tell him.

“You’re beautiful,” you whisper, planting each leg around his, so you’re straddling him. Like your ritual, Wonwoo grips your middle and pulls you closer, but this time it’s even closer than normal. Your stomach meets his dick, all heavy and hot on your skin, and your breath hitches at the sensation. 

“You’re beautiful,” he teases, looking up at you. You smile. 

“Can I put it in?” you ask. 

“As if the answer was ever gonna be no?” 

You snort out a laugh, raising yourself by your thighs and gripping the base of his dick to steer him inside. He hisses at the feeling of your hand grappling with his impressive size, and he hisses once more when the head of his cock buries into your heat. 

His hands on your waist anchor himself while you slowly sink down, until he’s so fully sheathed in you, you think the tip of his cock must be brushing your heart, because it feels like it’s swinging in your chest. 

“You’re so big,” you whimper, clutching his broad shoulders, and scrunching the fabric on top of them. 

“Don’t say shit like that, I’m gonna cum, babe,” he grits out, fingers bruising your waist. You mewl, clutching his shirt. Then you begin to bounce. 

Your thighs flex on either side of him as you heave up and down his cock, the both of you gasping into each other, and clutching each other for stability. 

“Shit,” he pants out, genuinely out of breath. “Fuck, you’re the loveliest girl in the world.”

You cry out, pressure already welling in your stomach and burying yourself in his neck like you’ve always done, and it’s so intimate and he’s warm, and, fuck, he wants you. You can feel it in his grip, in his cock, in his words; he wants you more than anything. The thought makes you wanna cum. 

Wonwoo is not quiet at all. He grunts and whines and his words are strangled and garbled, but frequent, showering you in affection and praise, while you bounce eagerly on his huge cock. 

“You’re so pretty, baby.” 

“Your tits are so perfect, shit.”

“Pretty girl.” 

“Loveliest, prettiest, sweetest girl, bouncing on my cock, fuck.”

Praises spill from his lips in purrs, one after another, and when you cum you can’t help but return it tenfold. 

“Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonnie, fuck! Gonna- fucking cum, I think I’m- f-falling in love with you”

You and Wonwoo come alive. Cum spurts from his cock and into your pussy, and you both cry out, entangled and completing one another in the space where you meet. 

And it’s true, falling in love with him is so easy. And falling in love with you is easy too, you realize, because the second he’s spilled his cum in you, he pulls you from his neck to kiss you so deeply, so thoroughly, you think your lips might never unpuff from his hasty, bitten kisses. 

His cock, now soft, still inside you, his warm chest against yours, his nose nudging yours, his eyelashes fluttering against your skin, the kiss is totally perfect, and you’re warm, and the windows are all closed and fogged up and there’s no curse other than the most fatal and most perfectly tantalizing of them all: love. 

You are not alone. You’re sitting in his lap and you think if you give it a day or two more, you might want to spend the rest of your life with him. 

You catch your breaths. 

“You’re really good at that,” you say finally. He grins again, perfectly undone, hair tousled and cheeks flushed. “Yeah?” he asks. You hum. 

After some minutes of keeping him inside you, kissing lazily, running your hands over his pretty chest and arms, you pull back, beginning to flex your legs to pull him out of you. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, hands wafting to still your movements. You furrow your brows, confused. 

“Am getting your dick out of me?” 

His hands sink down on your hips heavily, fully encompassing his dick again. You sigh at the feeling. 

“Don’t do that, silly. You’re touch-starved, remember?” 

He tilts his head teasingly. 

“So why don’t you just sit snug on my cock, so you can get all the closeness you need?”

[kurokens]

In The Middle | Satosugu

anime/manga: jujutsu kaisen

character: gojo satoru & geto suguru

words: 798

pronouns: they/them

request: none

notes: probably an overused prompt but idc sue me, i needed to write one of my own. im a sucker for misunderstanding. i haven't written anything in such a long time, it's been a while im sorry, satosugu have been on my mind for a while, and i needed to write something with them because i love them so fucking much. it's gonna be a series, so hopefully i dont disappear after one part lol... later on it might be specific on some insecurities bc i need it and i thought well let's just share it with the world and other who might need it. sorry for any mistakes T-T

not proof read

song rec: SHE'S - In The Middle

genre: hurt comfort, fluff, slowburn, a little bit angsty, poly?

warnings: bad english not my first language, satosugu are in a loving relationship, misunderstanding, pinning, a lot of pinning on satosugu's end, reader is so oblivious (is that the right one?), insecure and self conscious reader

You've always told yourself you weren't the type to live with anyone, you liked your quiet and your peace. Alone in your little bubble, without a soul to disturb it. And yet, here you were awoken by your roomates lover quarrel in the room next door, for the hundredth time this week.

"Don't you love me anymore? Am I not enough for you?" a whiny voice whisper-screamed "Satoru, my love, it was a dream, it was all in your head." an exhausted voice replied

"So what?? It doesn't mean anything? Are my feelings not valid?" Gojo huffed.

"How are you so dramatic so early in the morning? Let's go back to sleep come here.", Geto carefully lifted the blanket so his boyfriend could go back exactly where he belonged, asleep and quiet in his arms.

Such occurences weren't new to you, you could even say there were your daily life, that's why you laughed hearing the bickering couple, and turned around in your bed to try and fall back asleep while their muffled voices could still be heard in the background. This was without counting on what part of their conversation your brain decided to pick up on next. "I dont know for how much longer I can do this Sugu.." Satoru sighed. "Me neither love, but there is nothing much we can do about it.They live with us." His black haired lover replied. "I know, ugh I know, but it's getting so much harder everyday. Seeing them is becoming unbearable. I can't stand it anymore, we need to do something." He went on. "Shh, I know, I feel the same. But we can't just drop this on them all of the sudden and expect it to go well." The oldest reasoned.

Your heart shattered on the other side of the wall, now sitting against the headboard, an unstoppable flow of tears falling down your face. You were a bother? You thought the three of you were friends, shit, scratch that, best friends. And yet, yet, this was how they felt about you. Fuck fuck FUCK You needed to calm down, it's okay, you're okay. It must have been a nightmare, yeah that's right, a nightmare. Your brain loved playing tricks on you, waking you up in the middle of the night with the most vivid and realistic nightmares ever, enough to send you into full blown meltdown. Nothing to worry about, it was just a nightmare, nothing else. That's what you told yourself and yet when you woke up you couldnt shake this weird feeling in your stomach. You contemplated staying in your bed all day and avoid your roomates but that would be silly to ignore them for something that was potentially just a dream. So you shook the silly feelings away and got out of your bed, made your way to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Your two roommates were already there, being lovey dovey in each others lap and the weird feeling made its way back into your stomach. "Hi there." You greeted tiredly, only to be met with an echo of short hms, and not even a nod to accompany the cold greeting. The lack of acknowledgment not helping with your already overthinking mind, you decided to take a quick breakfast and just leave them be. It could just be a coincidence, nothing to worry about haha, right? Or so you thought, because you were back in your room mindlessly scrolling through tik tok when you once again hear the muffled voices of your roommates. Your brain screamed at you to put your headphones on and drown out their conversation, but you couldn't get yourself to do it, and you decided to listen to them, to at least finally be able to know whether or not you dreamed what happened last night. And maybe you shouldn't have, but what else could you do now but listen to the cruel words of the ones you once considered your best friends. "Suguru, we need to do it soon. I can't even handle looking at them in the eyes anymore, let alone utter a word to them. We can't keep going like this." Satoru complained. "I know 'Toru, I know, but you need to understand it's not as easy as you think it is." You heard the black haired man answer. And it was enough for you, you needed to get out of there. You obviously were no longer welcomed here, and the sooner you left, the better it would be, for both parties. So inbetween tears you picked up a bag and threw some spare clothes and anything that you could think of in your frenzy state before you ran out of there, determined to never come back, at least not for a while.

here u gooo!! sorry i've been away for a while, i've been finding it hard to write and staying focused, but i missed it so much, especially for these two. i'll try not to take too long to write AT LEAST a second part, but would love to do more than this bc i want it to be extremely slown burn and a little bit angsty krkrkr

part 2 is here!!

[writingforstraykids]

My beloved cutie mooties🥺🖤

(edited 12.05.24)

🖤@atinyniki🖤

Niki, my beautiful sunshine, I'm so grateful to have you through thick and thin. I'm still convinced you're cute and idc whether you accept that or not. I love talking to you and you're one of the kindest people I know (unless you yell at me you meanie...joking obviously, chill guys😂🖤) I'll always be there for you...also pls stop spending so much money on me cutie😭 Keep shining sunny bunny...love you, pretty girl🖤

🖤@zehina🖤

my beloved (not so silent anymore) bestie, i love our shared European confusion and confusing the others together in return. you're such a cute little kitty and we all know u love being called cute so...you're very cute, deal with it🤭I love our shared stupidity whenever we talk about the boys and seriously, every time you send me your part for the rambles I'd drop to my knees and pay for it bc holy shit. I'll always be there if you need me, keep fighting lovey. love you unnie🖤

🖤@galaxycatdrawz🖤

azzy, I'm so proud of slowly pulling you a little from the shadows you were hiding in😂 also...idk how I managed to do so, but I'm still laughing about achieving most of your tumblr milestones😭 i love sharing requests with you, working out ideas or simply do as you said and write what my brain couldn't figure out. thank you for always being there for me and sharing your brilliant brain with me, co-writer🤭 also it's such a bummer we live so far away bc after what we talked about so far I know you'd be the best cuddle buddy🥺 love you azzy my cutest little thing🖤

🖤@jinnie-ret 🖤

jinnie my dear, even though we haven't talked that much so far, I always love it when we get the chance🤭 can't wait to get to know you better as well and I'm already so excited for that fic👀looveeee your writing sm🖤

🖤@sona1800🖤

you're my newest mootie and I love you so much already it's ridiculous (niki can confirm that🥹) you're always so sweet and you literally outshine every fic with your loving reblogs and comments (I'm just too speechless to answer properly, I really love them🥺) so yeah, that's why you got the tag "the cutest" 🤭🖤

🖤@silverstarburst🖤

Ash. my dear, we don't have that much time to talk usually because you're either working or I'm asleep (a rarity but still). Nevertheless, you have a special place in my heart by now and I'm thankful for your presence in my life. I know who to text if I need someone to kick ass. Your reblogs make me smile like some idiot every time, thank you so much for appreciating my lil dummy ideas so much. love you mama wolf🖤

🖤@slutforchanlix🖤

Miu, babyy, I've made you cry way too often with stuff like this—my bad. I know it's not always easy, but you're one of the kindest people I know, and I love that I have someone with whom I can talk in my native language for once. You're a sweetheart and thank you for always being there for me. I still plan to meet you one day hehe. Long story short, you're amazing, don't let anyone else try to make you believe anything less than that. Bin immer für dich da🖤

🖤@michelle4eve🖤

heyy mimi, we haven't talked much so far...sometimes accidentally when you mistook my icon for niki's I hope that's easier now😂😉 you seem like such a kind soul and I hope we'll get closer over time (no rush dear!) I'm happy over each of your reblogs, especially after you told us you're too shy to do so sometimes. I really appreciate it, you cutie🖤

🖤@chrizzztopherbang🖤

I always loved seeing you pop up in my notifications with your sweet comments. I already think you're a sweetheart, I know we haven't talked that much yet. Still, I loved prereading your fics and getting a glimpse into your genius brain. Don't give up writing as long as you have fun with it, because you're truly amazing at it🖤

🖤@wolfyychan🖤

You've been around on my prior blog already and still my stupid brain didn't realize you've changed usernames for so long😭😂 I always look forward to your excited comments and reblogs, they're truly a boost of motiviation ngl. Hope to have you around for a long time🤭🖤

🖤@james-is-here🖤

Your excitement for that Minchan series made me think about writing bonus chapters for the first time in months. I really love seeing how you get so invested in some of the stories, which makes me want to do better hehe. Also...omg...I'm still thinking about that one fic you wrote a while ago🫠 I'm excited to see what's next and hope we'll get the chance to maybe talk some more🖤

🖤@queer-possum🖤

Without giving away too much, your brain is amazing. I love your requests so much and you're always so kind when I get back to you to make sure I get everything right. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write about certain topics and stuff I haven't so far🖤

🖤@chanandminhoenthusiast🖤

love, love, loveee your blog (for obvious inspirational reasons😉) you seemed like a very sweet soul whenever we talked before and I'll always be there if you need someone to talk, even about the most random bullshit😂🖤

🖤@palindrome969🖤

You're such a lovely person, I can't even put it into words properly. Your writing is beautiful and I'm still in love with that stargazing fic with Channie😭 always love talking to you and seeing your comments🖤

🖤@5starluvr🖤

I've told you so before, I wanna kiss your brain so bad sometimes. The stuff you come up with for me to write is brilliant. I can't wait to finish more of your requests and share ideas as soon as possible! Love you hehe🖤

🖤@mellhwang🖤

Heyy sweetie, I love seeing you in my notes and I swear I'll get that Minchan x Hyunjin thing done for you!! Thank you for all the love, dear🖤

🖤@lost-in-avoidance🖤

The amount of times I made you choke back tears at work is...concerning and I'm so sorry, I don't do it on purpose, I swear😭😂 your reblogs are always so genuine and make me feel like I did exactly what I wanted to with the fic in question. I appreciate your words so much, thank you!

[soulsam]

Sam Winchester x multiples of 5 for the ask game!

LIV!! hi!!!! yes thank you i will always take an opportunity to ramble about samuel william winchester my darling my beloved my everything

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

oh my god this is such a tough question because there are multiple ;-; one is definitely bubblegum bitch because of that legendary edit. another is "something super sweet" by rory webley which as YOU already know is my season 8-9 sam anthem of choice. there are also like a whole bunch of coldplay songs that i think of right away...trouble is probably the biggest one, but paradise and hurts like heaven are definitely up there. and those are not even the only coldplay songs on my sam playlist akjfhdjkfhdjk he's so coldplay-coded. to me. and just for you. just because it is you who asked this question. forget to remember, by mudvayne. from the saw II soundtrack.

(i did an AWFUL job answering the original question but idc!!! i love music, sue me :P)

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

yes. my toxic trait is that i honestly do believe i could be besties with sam winchester. when i'm watching the show i often find myself saying stuff that sam then says seconds after me. he and i could be true crime girlies together (leave me alone okay i promise i'm normal about it). we have drift compatible autism i just know it. we could therapize each other i think

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

ok now you're just indulging me :P the answer is and has always been and will always be WINCEST. SAMDEAN. THE BLOWJOB BROTHERS. how can you not love them. they're brothers they're mother and son they're best friends they're coworkers they're affair partners they're married they're divorced they've got puppy crushes on each other and they have the deepest and most profound love in the universe. they're everything and i love them and i'll never get them out of my brain as long as i live. when i get old and develop alzheimer's i will forget my own mother's name before i forget about them, i just know it. i have never been more autistic about anything than i am about them. to say they've altered my brain chemistry would be the understatement of the millennium. they are everything and i owe my gf my ENTIRE LIFE for showing me a post about sex and violence and opening my eyes to the truth of the wincest gospel

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

oh no this is a tough one too...especially because i haven't finished the show yet ;-; but just from what i know so far...i do think i have to pick rowena. i'm biased as fuck because i think they should have let sam learn to do witchcraft but also. they're just really funny together. and i think crowley and dean would both be really pissed.

honorable mention goes to pre-ahbl ava because i love ava and i've also seen hunted like six times for. um. reasons. and they're just so cute when she's helping him investigate ;-; meg 2.0 might also have been kinda funny.

conclusion: give! sam!! a girlbestie!!!! please!!!!!!

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

ok this one is slightly unfair because i went in knowing i was and would be a samgirl. i had technically seen some of the show before i started for real last october (though i only remembered pieces of the pilot and pieces of mystery spot) and because sam is ~the intellectual one~ (and the one with longer hair. lmao) i was almost certain he'd be more my type than dean.

BUT. INTERESTINGLY. i do think i was actually kind of a stealth deangirl at first. either that or i'm just Easily Manipulated cause i totally fell for dean's unreliable narration and let myself get mad at sam for things i don't hold against him at all anymore. that's not to say i've turned my back on dean, i adore him, but sam !!!! sam!!!!! he's my everything and he's never done anything wrong in his LIFE.

also. fun and terrible fact. back when i was still watching the first few seasons i used to cringe at any screenshots of him in seasons like. 11 or later. i hate change and convinced myself he looked terrible for the entire latter third of the series. can you believe that. it's so funny though because now i'm like. ok. best sam look, mid-late s8. but SECOND best? SEASON 12. HOLY SHIT SEASON 12 SAM. JESUS CHRIST. i finally saw american nightmare the other day and they hit me with the back-to-back priest outfit and red sweater and i was about to faint like some kind of victorian maiden. hoooooly shit. something something frog in boiling water or whatever but oh my god. late seasons sam. cannot believe i turned my back on him for so long. shameful!!!!

anyway !!! THANK YOU for sending in this ask aaa im sorry i went so crazy on it shfdkjhkdjfhdk i'll really be making the lightest commentary in my tags and almost zero personal posts and then someone sends me an ask and all of a sudden i become the world's chattiest cathy. yes this is an open invitation for anyone to send me asks at any time btw. give me more reasons to be chatty (if you dare)!!!

[trannydykes]

New Pinned Post!

Hello! Not everyone checks abouts anymore so I decided to make a new pinned post, for ease.

About me:

My name isn't Aven, but if you need to call me something call me that

I'm a young adult, in my 20's (20-29 Range)

I'm a Butch Lesbian

I'm Genderqueer/Nonbinary and identify with an unspecified Xenogender

Note to the above, I am TME so I wont speak over trans women/transfems so please correct me if I say something incorrect or harmful and I will fix it

I use She/They pronouns on this blog

I'm Autistic and have Dissociative Amnesia

The purpose of this blog is for spreading awareness of issues within the queer community, and when not doing that, spreading positivity. (I also reblog posts relating to queerness in general, mostly about being a lesbian or butch)

I mostly cover Lesbian and Transgender topics, but do occasionally talk about ableism in the queer community when it comes up. Because I am white, I do not make posts about racism in the queer community (I will reblog them, I don't ignore them). Instead I try to keep myself educated and spread awareness on topics using this blog.

Now I can get a little discoursey, so below the cut is things that have been, and probably will be again, brought up. If you have a problem with this, I try not to debate as I'm not too articulate, so just block me if it bothers you.

Frequent Topics of Discourse Below::

Men can't be Lesbians, doesn't matter if they're trans men. This actually comes from Radical Feminist circles who believe sexuality is based on your genitals, instead of gender

Lesbians can't like men, it's an exclusive identity

On the above 2, just because your sexuality is fluid doesn't mean all sexualities are, do not project your experiences onto everyone else. It's not restricting, it's how I live

Bi-Lesbians cannot exist, lesbians are exclusive identities. And most Bi-Lesbians identify with the label to say "I like women and nonbinary people". Congrats you're a dyke, nonbinary isn't a 3rd gender

The Vincian/MLM/Blue Gay Flag is a cheap rip off of the Lesbian flag and has no substance to itself

Radical Feminism isn't radical, nor feminism (we've heard this one b4)

Androphobia/Misandry, and by extent Transandrophobia/Transmisandry, cannot exist

Arohet/Acehet Cis people are inherently queer

Pronouns =/= Gender

To the above: Presentation =/= Gender. Butches/Studs are not trying to look like men

Not every trans person has Gender Dysphoria, but every trans person has Gender Euphoria. Being a Transmed is bullshit and bootlicking behavior

I also try to spread positivity for Xenogenders and Neopronouns

And like I said, along with fighting for my ideals and beliefs, I spread positivity. I'll spread posts with cute girls in them because it makes me proud to be a lesbian. Or art of trans people being happy. And I also reblog every queer donation post I see onto this blog, because in the end we help each other out.

And to wrap this up, I am a human, I make errors, and I learn from those errors. If you disagree with me, and want me to change my view, don't tell me to kill myself or send me hate, that doesn't do your cause justice. I may not be down to debate, but I'm always down to hear people out. I don't always agree in the end, and if I do I don't always agree 100%. But I try to hear everyone out, especially because I am someone who is easily confused. If you wish to send hate, send hate, be yourself idc. But you can win ppl over by being nice more often than being a bag of dicks. <3

[jung-koook]

lol i hope seven is a s*x song idc how crazy ill get



also im late but just to add in, about the whole promo thing - i dont think its about "its gonna be MORE promo for him"

i guess its just about them (individually speaking), we know they all have a whole team but at the end its about them, what they like, what they can do, schedules we dont know about, like ..we can see its not all about music anymore (not a bad thing, i mean like they have contracts with fashion and stuff) so they have other things going on too

i know hybe can be shitty, i bet, but we cant blame them for EVERYTHING

the boys make different music between them, (just look at rapline, its SO DIFFERENT) its not the same, jimins promo was different because it had a different vibe if you may, jk's style we've seen its so street edgy idk you've seen the guy lol, and i bet taehyungs promo wont be anything like jk's either, theyre so different in style! thats it, i just think the style is different, it represents them in their own way, it cant be the same all the time, specially not after doing their solo projects, this is their chance to do whatever they want!

its jk first solo, no, it doesnt have to be about bangtan bc of a 7, maybe a reference SURE because we know how they cant live without each other, but lets give him credit, hes about to share with us something hes been working on God knows how long, these boys have experienced so much together but its time and he said so himself, its a new challenge for him, lets just support

i love this because we love them all but we get to see now a new piece of their souls as solo, its exciting!

go jk! go my boyss!!

yes, you're right. thats what I wanted to say there. but what i said did it imply that jeongguk was having more promo? if so i want to apologize because that was not what i wanted to say at all. what I wanted to say there is that we already saw that the promos will be different for each member. that from what we've seen so far, we're going to see different things for each member. I think I even mentioned that I really didn't like some things but that its "okay". like for example jimin wanted to have more mvs but that didn't happen. and I really wish that had happened. the little time difference there was between namjoon, jimin and yoongis albums. and i think the same thing looks like it will happen when tae releases his album. i really think there's a big chance that as soon as sevens promo is over bighit will announce taes album. that's all I wanted to say there. I'm so sorry if I implied something completely different from what I really meant to say.

I'm really so excited for this new challenge for him and to learn more of the details he wants to share with us about seven. this recording film made me even more excited for seven and I thought that wasn't even possible 😆😭

[silenthillmutual]

1, 10, 11, 33 ! :D

Which labels do you use?

aroace, aspec, trans man, trans masc, genderfluid, nonbinary, faggot, gay, t4t, mlm... i don't use vincian/achillean or diamoric anymore but idc if someone else uses them for me

Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans):

body hair!!! i'm a bear and the hair on my chest makes me feel less dysphoric about still having tits

Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media?

don't know that i have a favorite so i'll just give you one i love: the movie the way he looks. very cute, watched it back around the time i first came out with a discord server that's no longer around but i still have fond memories!!

What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/ want to recognize/celebrate?

i only recently came to terms with being aro, after years of trying to work out why my attraction is so... weird, and my romantic relationships haven't really worked out very well (even though i veer toward hopeless romantic at times? and i do sometimes still desire romance? i'm still working it out) so i'm trying to work on celebrating that this pride! hence why i wanted to get started on aro-ing one of my longterm fave ships. because they are the most important people in each others' lives and so are me and my qpp :)

pride asks!!

[somesunnyda-y]

That's

AMORE

[pinkykitten]

are you bored yet?

synopsis: with uncertainties in life you cant say for certain if you and fred being together is a good thing or bad thing. so many things are running through your mind as you spend watching the sunset with the love of your life, fred weasley. 

pairing: fred weasley x female! reader (i swear im like obsessed w him i need therapy fr) words: 1,503 genre: fluff omg so much, romance, song based, writing challenge, one-shot

a/n: so this is based on the song are you bored yet by wallows. and this is for the writing challenge of @lunalovecroft​. i had so much fun writing this and as u can tell im currently in a fred spiral and its out of control but idc tbh. he is so beautiful and yes he is invading my dreams every night. enjoy yall and hope u like also thnx for liking my recent fred drabble so much it means a lot to me and requests are open! ps i also tried to incorporate the words and meaning of the songs lyrics to the story hope that makes sense. 

The ocean waves crashed against the soft, cool sand. It would simmer and relax, but then the pent up frustration mixed with wind would allow it to meet and kiss the earth. 

The future always scared you. Somedays you looked forward to it and other days just the unknown was filled with anxiety. It was the feeling of not being able to control loss and love, happiness and sadness. You would find yourself some nights thinking about it, almost losing your mind. 

The sun was setting so peacefully and beautifully. It was something so simple yet something so divine and of such importance. You had faith in the sun and space. Yes, everything around you may be changing and things might be going wrong but one thing was for certain was that the sun was going to rise and set every day, when the sun rises that will be your new chance at starting anew. 

It was so peaceful. The smell of sea was so inviting and comforting. What was more comforting was how Fred let your head rest against his chest. The feeling of worn out cotton against your cheek, as you heard his heart beat almost at the same rhythm as yours. It was if you two were in perfect sync. The faint smell of cologne that Fred always used to try to impress you made you feel at home, along with a small smell of something unknown to you but only Fred had that smell. Maybe it was gingers own scent. 

You sighed, relaxing. 

“So, love, what do you think about the muggle world?” Fred asked, wiggling his brows like he was the man.

You looked up at his freckled face, from his chest, giggling, “You know I’ve been here before.”

Fred laid back down and enjoyed the moment with you. But something was eating you up inside. It was starting to bug you that everyone had a someone. Ron to Hermione. Harry to Ginny. You were starting to feel left behind in the crowd. Again with the uncertainty. Everyone was with their soulmate and you felt lonely. 

You didn’t realize Fred was eyeing you this whole time you had this battle in your head. He could tell something was off. “What’s wrong?”

You very much disliked confrontation so you pretended to fall asleep. 

“I saw you were awake Y/N,” Fred sat up. He was patiently, quietly waiting for your answer. 

You sat up, kicking your feet against the peak you two were sitting on. The warmness from the sun making you smile just a bit. “I wish we didn’t have to leave. That we could sit here for the rest of our lives.”

Fred chuckled, scooting closer to you and resting his head against your shoulder. Something sparked within you at the contact. You could feel his breath on your neck, feeling the hair stand up on its own. You leaned your head against his and sighed once again. 

“I wish I could sit here with you forever too sweetheart. But unfortunately we’re really not supposed to be here and I bet some muggles would find us and we’d be toast.” Fred kissed your knuckles. 

You distanced yourself away from him, worrying Fred with wide eyes. You couldn’t bear the physical connection you two had and not have something from it. Yes, you and Fred were friends but you were wanting more than that. You yearned for more than that. “There is just so much on my mind,” you said quietly. You can tell you hurt Fred’s feelings but you needed to know what Fred was doing to you. Why did he kiss your hands? Why did he want to be with you daily? You needed support, something stable in your life. 

“Feels like I've known you my whole life I can see right through your lies,” Fred was worried seeing you so distant. 

He was right. He knew you in and out. He knew when you were okay and when you were not. You leaned back, “I like this guy and I’m afraid he doesn’t like me.”

“That’s bonkers! Who wouldn’t like you Y/N?” Fred tried not to grit his teeth at his jealousy. This man was so lucky. 

“I’m afraid Fred. I don’t know if he’ll feel the same way and when we get older will he still feel the same way about me? There is so much to think about. What if something happens to him? I would fall apart, I would be living in fear and paranoia.” You clenched your fists. 

“Wow, you do really love this man?”

You huffed as you looked into Fred’s eyes for a split second, hoping he would get the hint. “I do, I really do.”

Fred was silent. He was playing with his fingers. He usually had always something to say, seeing him like this was odd. 

“If you could tell me how you're feeling,” you held Fred’s hand. 

“I don't know where we're going But I'd like to be by your side,” Fred blurted out. You gasped as you took your hands away and held onto to your skirt, holding in your breath. “I can’t go on living knowing I didn’t at least try to stop you from being with that other guy. I know you love him Y/N but I love you. I can’t do this anymore. Kiss only your cheek when I want to kiss your lips so bad. I can’t make believe that every time you hold my hand I don’t feel a spark. Or when you come to my room every time you have a nightmare. When we cuddle, how I carry you on my back. I can’t make believe that those things don’t affect me. I can’t keep putting this wall between us and making believe we’re not something worth fighting for. Tell you the truth baby, I’m smitten with you. I’m so madly in love with you.”

Your lips trembled as tears fell down your cheeks. Fred couldn’t help himself and also found himself emotional, wiping his tears with his jumper sleeve. Nobody knew what to do. “Why are you crying love?” Fred whispered. 

“Because the man that I was referring to and talking about was you Fred,” you said with tear soaked lips. The wind carried your tears away. “I love you Fred Weasley.”

You both were knew in this territory of love. Love that you would sacrifice everything and risk more. Love that was unconditional. It was awkward the air funnily. 

“So are we more than friends then? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?” Fred was so shy. You both just confessed your loves for each other, nobody knew what to do. You both were just friends for so long. 

“When we get old, will we regret this?” You asked, bashfully. 

“I will never in my whole existence ever regret meeting you and being your love. No matter what tough trials come, I know I will always be by your side.”

“I will forever love you Fred. There is not one person on this world I love more than you. I’m so grateful I was sent to Hogwarts because you’re my favorite person.” You gave a small, genuine smile. “Maybe we'd get through this undefeated Holding on for so long.”

In one swift moment, Fred’s lips came crashing down against yours. It was with such passion and fire. Like Fred was preparing his whole life for this one spectacular moment. His lips moved against your and you couldn’t help but deepen the kiss by running your fingers through his orange locks and pushing him more towards you. You wanted everything he got. 

Fred pushed you back and wrapped his warm hands on the back of your neck. Your hands fell to his collar and you clutched onto it with all your might. You felt you might explode. Fred went from your lips to smothering you in kisses all over your face. You heard his laugh and saw his toothy smile but it was better because his freckled covered cheeks were such a cute pink. He was blushing the whole time. Fred kissed your nose and you and him laughed together, simply in love. He leaned his head against you for one moment and leaned back in his spot on the cliff. 

You were out of breath and stunned. Did that just happen? You were so happy it did. You sat there surprised by the amazing kiss, touching your lips and feeling them sting a little from the contact. It was incredible. The best sensation of your life. 

Fred saw you the whole time, smirking. He coughed to get your attention and your eyes traveled up to see the most amazing view. He was leaning back, his lean neck resting back against his shoulders as his adams apple bobbed. But what got you choked up was his lips were plump and wet from your twos make out session. His skin was flawless with his freckles and his eyes were bright and light from the sunsetting. The sun’s rays hit his face just perfectly to make him look like a prince. Like he came down from heaven. You were so dumbfounded at how a man could look this beautiful and handsome. 

Fred smirked as he bit his lip, winking, wanting to tease you, “I don’t know if you wanna get out of here or maybe go get a bite together as I’m your new boyfriend. I mean 'Cause we could stay at home and watch the sunset But I can't help from asking, Are you bored yet?"

a/n: ive been listening to this song on repeat and know its in my head and i just want to make an edit of fred for this song cuz he is so bf material. thnx for all the love and support stay safe guys and tysm. 

[marigoldthoughts]

Carpool Karaoke w/ Haikyu!! Boys

the boys in question<3 Tanaka, Nishinoya, Ushijima, & Sugawara

Tanaka Ryūnosuke

you and tanaka are on your way home from hanging out with some friends

mans is driving his dad’s old pick up truck

left hand is steering the other is gripping your thigh

“babe turn on the radio i’m in the mood for some TUNES”

you’re switching channels and you come across this absolute BANGER

mans goes BUCKWILD

he starts dancing and poorly sings along 

he starts slapping your thigh along to the beat

but when it gets to “ heeeeeeeeey yaaaaa” he starts leaning over to you

you can’t help but chuckle at this clown ( and also lowkey fear for your life cause saeko taught him how to drive and it’s worse when he’s riled up)

T: ALRIGHT NOW FELLAS

you: YEAHH?

T:WHATS COOLER THAN BEING COLD

you: ICE COOOLD!

CLOWN SINKS DOWN INTO HIS SEAT DURING “alright alright alright alright....”

shimmies like his life depends on it during “ shake it like a polaroid picture”

then “Kiss Me Thru The Phone” come on and his second performance of the night begins

Nishinoya Yū

y'all are on the way to go pick up some food in his car

he gives you the aux to plug in his phone and asks you to play some of his music

this is the first song that comes up in his “recently played” playlist

bby noya LOVES this song ( no i dont take constructive criticism)

as soon as he hears those first few keys he brings a fist to his mouth and goes “AWWWWW SHIIIT”

party noya mode: activated

starts dancing IMMEDIATELY 

you turn to each other and sing “GOOD GRACIOUS ASS BODACIOUS”

and the makes out an hourglass shape with his right hand

he rests tilts his head back slightly and begins to fan himself to the first “i am gettin so hot i wanna take my clothes off”

when the line is repeated he drags his right hand down his body

😳😳🥵

MAN DOES NOT MISS A SINGLE WORD!!!!

he places a hand on his lower back at “i think my butt gettin big!”

you sing along to ‘i am gettin so hot i wanna take my clothes off’ while he goes “UH UH UH”

rolls his eyes back when he goes “ mix a little bit of uh uh and a little but of uh uh”

Definitely the type to rap along while pointing a finger

at the end you both are singing to each other

Sugawara Kōshi

i know this song is about a baby,,, but youre his baby soooo...

yall are on the way to your parents house for the holidays

you both just got off of work so you're pretty beat

bby suga offered to drive ofc🥺

(ok but imagine suga with a button up shirt and the sleeves rolled up😳 and a silver watch on his left wrist😳)

after 3 hours you’re almost there and have been drifting in and oit of sleep

he turns on the radio to keep himself awake

at this point youre awake but still resting your eyes

suga starts humming along cause he thinks you’re asleep🥺

you open up your eyes and turn up the volume

you wrap your arms around his right arm that was resting on the center console

“can you sing for me kōshi, i like your voice”

and of course he sings for you bc ajshdiiede <3333

he looks at your wrapped around his arm and sings “isn't she pretty, truly the angels best” with a soft smile

he brings his attention back to the road singing “boy i’m so happy”

bb still hums along to the instrumental <3

i know sugamama is more of a crazy wine aunt but i thought of him while hearing song so🥺<3

Ushijima Wakatoshi

idc if you like country or not this SLAPS

toshi drives a truck cause how else is he gonna transport his farm equipment??

y’all are on the way to those yeehaw stores bc he needs to buy some ✨fertilizer✨ 

you’re only going bc its spring so that means they have ducklings🥺🥺

toshi usually doesn't listen to music while driving, but when he does its soft j✨a✨z✨z✨

but since he’s your farmer boy so you connect your phone to the aux and play the song

you start singing along jokingly, caressing his face

you stop for a second to check your phone cause you got a text

while you're replying toshi starts singing “theres no hurry, don’t you worry, we can take our time”

and you’re just like ??????????😳

cause 1 he?knows?the?song?

2 his voice is so deep so you’re like 🥵😳

3 🥺he’s🥺singing🥺along🥺🥺

he sees that you’re staring at him with a confused look on your face

“Whats wrong, y/n?”

“You know the song?”

“Of course i do, it’s a very popular song. I don’t live under a rock you know.”

faxx

he focuses on the road again,  but hes not singing anymore😡

“heeeey toshi, c’mon keep singing🥺”

he glances at you and begins again

“i cant beleive how much it turns me on, just to be your man” 

LGV^*^*CW722%^#@@!R^%#S^G#S(

hot

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a/n: this is my first headcanon post👉👈 ty for reading. if you have any reqs feel free to ask or message!(:

┕━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━┙

masterlist

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 09.04.21 lb

vansh's dumb ass rushing off to that random address he saw. like......... are you even checking on google maps ki kya area hai, is it conducive to having a secret person stashed there as a hostage? pata chala udhar tak pohunch gaye aur ek big bazaar hai.

ishani tripping riddhima as she runs into the house. such middle school bitchidity.

and now some interrogation of really wtf are you and vansh bhai upto all the time, coz no normal ppl can understand wtf your relationship dynamic is anymore.

blah blah some dhamki on dadi ko pata challllllllllll gaya toh??????

idc about this scene except for ishani looking hot af. i love her shirt dress and red lipstick. style icon.

anyway riddhima promises answers in 24 hours and fucks off.

lol vansh reached destination and from the looks of it, it's an empty lot. lmaooooooooooooo, fucking idiot. pehle hi bola tha maine, check kar udhar hai kya.

riddhima meanwhile steals the black box, which changes how it looks every single day.

calls vyom and is like i did my part of the deal, now your turn. they arrange the drop.

lmao vansh comes home to empty safe. follows her as she goes and dumps it in the recycling bins and tells vyom to pick it up.

hoodie waale kisine aake pick up kar diya. which i'm sure is not vyom, but angre/someone else instead.

ew vansh rootin around in the garbage bin for the box. sees it's gone and is all smirkily "INTERESTINGGGGGGG VERYYYYYYYY INTERESTINGGGG" about it. ok either box iske aadmi ne uthaaya hai ya woh asli waala black box nahi tha. warna yeh itna khush nahi hota.

ugh siya is video calling vyom and all WHYYYY CAN'T I COME SEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUU?!?!!? i promiseeeee i won't disturb you while you work, i'll just keep looking at you and listening to you. what the ever loving fuck? behen, the relationship you're describing is the one ppl have with animals in zoos. yuck i actually cannot watch this shit man, i'm fwding.

anyway riddhima walks in hearing his voice from siya's room. ek toh yeh kaun bewakoof hai jo apne secret bf se BINA HEADPHONES ke baat karta hai? ffs, 6th graders doing aashiqui better than these fucks.

riddhima yelling at siya about getting involved with shunya circle zero man, while siya yelling back about how did YOUUUUUU see my earring with him, why are YOUUUU meeting him huh?!!?? and vyom is just there on the call like

riddhima trying to warn siya ki he's not a good man............. sis kabhi apne relationships ko dekha hai???? you're running on full 100% in the dept. of having romantic relationships with psychopathic men who try to injure/kill you on a weekly basis.

asdkjsakjdhksajdhksajhdkj i honestly am vyom in this sitch, who's enjoying this convo to the maxxxxxxxx. zoom call par baithe kisi aur ke ghar ka kalesh dekhne ka mazzzaaaa hi kuch aur hai.

angre losing his mind about riddhima stealing the box and vansh is all cool which meansssss........ nakli tha. for sure. shoulda known when we saw it looked diff itself.

lmaooooooooooooooo black box ko orange paint kar ke rakha hua hai iss chutiye ne. and he's bragging about how no one can open it without the key.

meanwhile peeth pe key waali didi andar jhaank ke spying kar rahi hai, as per usual.

kabir over here like main riddhima riddhima chillaaunga, banyaan phaad ke........... guard has had enough of his shit and tells him to stfu.

someone from outside hears this chillam-chilli and calls the police. wow, a responsible citizen, in this show?????????? unbohlievable.

cut to riddhima walking into bedroom (in whole new outfit; huh??? is it a whole other day suddenly?????) which is decorated like a mixture of a grade school on valentine's day + the set of a suhaag raat porno, lmao. husband is also in here, in his red velvet suit, giving her bhaaaaari sex eyes.

riddhima's thinking lagta hai issko pata nahi chala ke maine naak ke neeche se box udaa liya, warne yeh saare phool meri arthiiii pe chadhte.

this b has some nerve talking to siya about her "dangerous relationship" with that shirtless bhopuuuu player when her own husband/said chick's elder brother is a quasi-murderer they live with.

LMAO THEIR WHOLEASS BED IS GONE. ABHI SESK KAHAAN KAROGE? IS CHHOTE SE DINING TABLE PAR? ouff, they must still be in their 20s if they don't require proper lumbar support.

gives her a rose, ofc she pricks herself on a thorn, and nowwwww.... he's sucking on her finger. I'M SORRY THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC OR SEXY AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLL. SHE DIDN'T EVEN WASH HER HANDS AFTER COMING INTO THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!! FUCKERS GONNA START SOME INCURABLE PANDEMIC OF THEIR OWN LIKE THIS.

she's all ohohohoho dard bhi tum, dawa bhi tum huh? and he's like yeah babyyyyyyyyyy, coz tum poori ki poori meriiiiiii ho.

ok the sexy is getting scary now. as is on par with this fucker. never a moment where heart rate can be at resting rate with him. and not in a good way.

she's telling him she wants to tell him something, give him some surprise....... and he's like.... ok? and they slow dance while making shakki faces at each other's back.

kabirrrrrrr stillllllllll screaming for riddhima. guard finally calls her and makes him speak to her. she's like bitch tf you want i was about to get laidddddd.........

kabir suddenly in i love you i love you mode. shady. kal tak toh yeh gaana nahi chal raha tha??? *acp pradyuman hand motion* kuch toh gadbad hai.

whoopsssssssssss, police is here. guard is like fuck someone musta called hearing this dude's ruckus.

kabir is like mwahahahahahaha, your game is over now. police will find meeeeee and freeeeee meeeee.

lmaoooooooooo she talks to the police and says ki woh jo chila raha hai, mera mentally unstable bhai hai, toh bas...... inspector is like SAY NO MORE MA'AM, WE DON'T WANNA CHECK ON THE MENTALLY ILL, THAT'S A YOU PROBLEM, NOT AN US PROBLEM AS A SOCIETY, SO GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CRAZY BRO, BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

anyway she's like listen up kabir, my deal is over, i'll tell vansh the truth and then you'll be free. so part of the deal with vyom is to keep kabir locked up???????? hein? what even.........

kabir freaking out about riddhima telling vansh the truth, and keeps on saying he'll murder her........ DUDE WHAT THIS SORDID TRUTH ANYWAY IM SO DONE JUST OUT WITH IT ALREADY

vansh comes outta the bathroom shirtless and............... lollipop ladki is here sexily breaking wine glasses in his bedroom. zero boundaries up in this house. NONE WHATSOEVER.

ok sorry i'm not paying attn to anything being said rn coz

lollipop ladki is like why not we drink from one glass and he's like 🤨🤨🤨

wifey's here to spoil the party.

or to make it better????????? coz lol she's like make it three glasses of wine! won't you invite me to whatever's going on???? she looks waaaay more into lollipop ladki than vansh is, which would be the best possible development to riddhima's character.

vansh like hein aise kaise you stealing girl away from meeeeee, and telling lollipop girl ki why don't you and i just chug from the bottle?

cursory invitation to riddhima too.......... man, why is this giving heavy threesome vibes???

riddhima like "no thanks, mujhe do se zyaada hont ek bottle par achche nahi lagte." alksjdlaskjdlsakjdlsajkdlaksjdlka

vansh: achche toh mujhe bhi nahi lagte.

riddhima: par lagta hai tumhe toh kisi ke bhi chalenge.

OUCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

lmaoooooooo now these two are just having their own petty pati-patni fight filled with vague statements about trust and misunderstandings, and lollipop girl is just here like

precap: riddhima about to tell vansh the whole truth or whatever, when vyom calls and is like wtf you gave me a fake black box. riddhima and vansh are once again fighting about truth and dhoka and like.......... bro. idc anymore. someone take your shirt off to make this worth my while.

[ohoshi]

omg first i need to talk about nct at song festival (gayo daechukjae) umm first of all mark and taeyongs rap was so good but ofc we all knew they would kill it. and then in nct U class, teacher taeyong looked so good...the way he bit that pointer stick thing in the beginning was so sexc (and the hair and the glasses ahdsfasjf) 😳 but also sungchans rap in that?? i was not expecting that but why am i even surprised anymore.. and also misfit live?? i loved nct's school uniform concept too for some reason ahahaha

and then xiaojun in resonance!! wow yes go shine xj!!! (also idk why but i found it so funny when it was doyoung's turn after xj, but xj was kinda blocking dy (who was really walking with a PURPOSE) so dy lightly pushed him out of the way) and then omg shotaro!! offstage he is so 😊 but damn in hard carry he was so good!! ahh and then also the thing where all the kpop artists at gayo daechukjae sang that song was so cute (i smiled so hard when nct came up 🥺)

yea for my job situation i think it will be okay, i talked to some people i know/mentors about it too and i think things will work out...they always do in the end right? 😊 now about anime LOL this is making me wanna start/rewatch an anime now hahahah! honestly i kind of have phases where i alternate between kdramas and animes, but i havent rly watched anime much lately besides haikyuu (which i was also surprised was still airing (but it's only season 2 so far?)). kpop (aka NCT) has been consuming my life lmao but im here for it 😂

weightlifting fairy was also my first kdrama!! yes i can totally give u some kdrama recs! besides the ones i mentioned before (which are most of my top ones), i also liked chicago typewriter, marriage not dating (i love the fake relationship trope hahaha), dinner mate, sky castle (it's kinda intense but it's so good and an iconic kdrama), cheer up, another miss oh, kingdom (if you like zombie things)...i heard startup is good and i want to watch it soon too! also i continued watching more of uncanny counter these past few days and i love it (but it's ongoing so no binging)

okay now svt: i watched some of your recs and youre so right all their choreos are so satisfying?! i also actually agree with you about black on black, i liked black on black and it was cool but it only featured like 5 members lmao and in the svt choreos it does feel like all of them are featured in some way in each performance? plus their choreos are just so great to watch!! also i've had left and right stuck in my head since i watched it LOL but i agree it's objectively better than dynamite (not an army though; also pls nobody come at us for this lmaoo)

also super random but can you tell me who is the one in the red/purple plaid shirt in the svt home dance practice?? i am kinda attracted by his dance moves LOL and i havent learned names yet 😭 i will continue watching all ur svt recs though hehehe and update you on the status of my fangirling :))

omg wait also i would never have guessed that you're not an english speaker just from these messages!! how did you know that i was prob a native speaker haha (i guess *technically* cantonese is my first language, but then i learned english in school so now i'm obviously more native in that lol and english is the only language i can read/write in)

OMGGF IKR as a multi stan i really enjoyed the rap collab especially because i really love monsta x's rap line (esp i.m!!! his rapping skill 😍) and of course mark and taeyong!!!! 😭 our boys 😭 our golden rappers 😭 SLAYED IT! omg the nct u got me 😳 taeyong looked so good???? wtf? and also sungchan? damn that boy keeps surprising me! the interesting part to me was when one member(johnny if i remember correctly) bumped into taeyong but it was done on purpose and how he uhhh kinda shook his body and his head but it all looked so cool and he never stopped rapping!!! love how they all 'performed' misfit manifesting wild teenagers in school (as they are tbh) IT WAS SO FUN AND COOL!!!

XIAOJUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAS SO!!!!!! GOOD!!!!!!! THE CONFIDENCE??? THE STAGE PRESENCE????? XIAOJUN CENTER???? XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT????? i live 😭 he was so good he looked so good i was so happy and i'm so proud of him 😭 from here the only way to go is up! i hope he keeps surprising us! and omg i haven't noticed that part when doyoung pushed him bc he blocked him?? and i just rewatched it and it looks funny 🤣 but they held everything professionally 😌  no surprises there 😌

OH MY GOD THE HARD CARRY PERFORMANCE!!!!!!!!! first of all our boy shotaro DAMN 😳 he looked so good you couldn’t say that he just debuted a few months ago!! such a dancing machine! (but honestly i am not surprised because in make a wish he was rly good and he debuted as a dancer i expected from him to be good™ as he is!) and i love the duality od him <3 yk that kind of idol that you want to protect at all cost but the next second they're the one you seek protection from? yeH sign me uP! and don't even get me started on hyunjin, juyeon and moonbin!!!!! but i mean all 3 of them are main dancers of course they would look good™ 😌 (yeah shotaro performed with 3 main dancers of 3 different groups i mean the honor??????)

the end of the festival was so wholesome! It was a serotonin boost and me too i also smiled the whole time! so cute 😭 and ot23 were cutiesssss

yes! everything will work out in the end! don't stress about it!<3 oh haikyuu only has 2 seasons? wtf hsgsjsgs ok then i just watched when it had like 13 episodes, WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT that's when i watched it lmao

OMG OK I HAVE WRITTEN DOWN ALL OF THESE DRAMAS (and from the previous ask) IN MY NOTES SO FAR im mostly excited about the fake relationship one 👀 i love fake relationship trope, too 🤧 oh no binging?? is that your thing?? usually i love to wait for the show to finish airing and then i binge watch it in a few days (or one day depends how busy i am)

SEVENTEEN!!!!: yeah all of their choreos are so satisfying (pointing this out one more time) they always pay attention to details (for example in home, bc you're familiar with it, they even choreograph the hands and pay attention to them while most of the other kpop choreos very often freestyle the whole arms sjagaj) here's a fun fact abt svt that makes me love them so much agsgsj: they're self produced! they produce their own music and they even come up with their own choreos!! (of course not on their own, woozi is a producer but he's not making songs on his own he coproduces them with [a producer name bc i guess that's irrelevant but if you’re curious: bumzu], they come up with their own choreo (to be precise, hoshi does! he is 1/2 main dancers in group and he is the main choreographer! he doesn't do everything on his own of course, he gets help from the rest of the performance team (which is a svt subunit consisted of their 2 main and 2 lead dancers: hoshi, dino, the8, jun) and of course some other infamous kpop choreography teams) and i think that, by now, all the members were credited at least once for the lyrics

I'M SO GLAD YOU HAVE LEFT AND RIGHT STUCK IN YOUR HEAD HAGSJSSGSG but i mean of course you would it's soo good and soo catchy (yeahhh no worries, this army has already gotten minor hate for having controversial opinions™ and for criticising her faves so idc anymore 💁🏻‍♀️ it's my opinion as a dancer and i stand by it, even can't you see me by txt is better than dynamite so literally 3 dance performance were better!!!! in a way!!!! and neither of the 3 won!!! yes i am salty!!!!!)

the guy in the red/purple shirt (the center guy when they do the 3 dances for the first time right??) IS DINO!!!! he's the maknae and 2/2 main dancers in svt so!!! of course you would be attracted by his moves!!!!!! JSGSJSN i'm curious to see if you end up staning svt and biasing dino hsfsjsgsha

CANTONESE IS YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE? damn i thought you couldn’t get more interesting here's a dumb question: can you understand xiaojun, hendery and lucas without titles??? not that i would know if they ever speak cantonese in front of the camera for i don't know the difference between chinese dialects</3

[realmadridx14]

I hate hate HATE how things are going rn. I feel like i'm being beaten up and pushed down from all sides with nothing to stop them. I feel like i'm drowning and instead of someone pulling me out they're pushing me in. Like i'm glad you both trust me enough to vent to me about the other but i really cant take it anymore!!! I literally feel shortness of breath and a tight chest when you start talking!!! Please i always wanna cry while either of you are talking. Please just fucking solve this shit or get a divorce idc anymore. Please get a divorce it'll be easier for everyone. Just fucking please, dont think of me idc about me i'll solve my issues idc. Please just fucking leave each other i cant live with this shit anymore. Stop taking it out on me. Just bc you're not happy with what she did doesnt mean you can get mad at me for not fixing it for you. Just bc he blows everything out of proportion doesnt mean you get to humiliate me in front of people and emphasize my flaws. Just fucking talk to each other or cut each other of YOUR own lives. Dont say you're taking all this and staying silent just for me. Thats a shit excuse and i dont want it. I dont want either of you. I dont even want the fucking money or education anymore i'll sort my own shit out please just fucking stop

[chaelinsbitch]

Someone gives you a billion pounds and tells you you're in charge of any Kpop management company for a year. What are you gonna do?🤔

YG has bee in hellfire for ages so idc for them anymore so instead I'M TAKING OVER SM!!!!! I'm SO OVER them 😭 they will come up w these great project ideas and then never actually follow through ?? Like ?! But anyways! I'm gonna restructure the whole company lmao. Idk how it is now but I think each group/unit/solo should get a designated art and production team to work together on concepts and then implement the promotion cycle where there's always a few artists promoting but there's no overlap between units/solos etc (ex the 3 ppl in NCT who are in every unit in existence finally get a break) and everyone who's promoting should get a fair amount of promo instead of only ever favouring and priotizing the new group... Idk give the less popular ppl a smaller budget if that's an issue but at least give them a chance instead of wasting them away? And give the idols a chance to work on artistry of their own desire rather than what's given to them ie the way Shinee are more hands on w their own work than other groups, so they have a chance to nurture their own careers as artists instead of just being SM promotional dolls. I also want to put an emphasis on live perfs cuz god the shit SM has been giving us these past few years has been so incredibly dissapointing lmao. I want drama I want flair I want LIVE SINGING!!! I want them to make me shake in my boots!!! I want them to perform!!! More theatric stuff like stuff taemin comes up with or the stuff that we've been seeing from groups like skz/the Boyz/itzy/ateez w stages instead of just oversized lackluster mcountdown stages !!!!! Aespa has this entire lore and we haven't seen ANY of it on their stages! Imagine if they were fighting/dancing against their whatever monster during end of year shows? Like there's so much that they could do. Also I will give seulgi the ultimate solo album she deserves

[dottores]

You know what fine. I can't take this anymore I need to say it. And who else should I say it to but to u. Because you're his girl and u know him best. What if...what if.... Just like how hard Takemichi time leaped to save Hina, what if Haru is destined to do so to safe Mikey, but Takemichi gets in the way, by accident messing up the timeline. I'm not gonna lie, I dreamt abt it and that's the timeline I live in. Bye. I love you btw. I'm drinking tonight, idc I'm going home with Rindou. Go home with Haru and pls just do anything to let him spill it all out pls. Suck him or ride home idc I need to know by tomorrow! I'm sorry I love you 👙🍸😘

NO BECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS LIKE IF HARUCHIYO N MICHI ARE BOTH TRYING TO SAVE MIKEY AT THIS POINT BUT THEY KEEP FUCKING EACH OTHER’S PLANS UP CUZ THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER BEING A TIMELEAPER 😭😭😭😭

SOBS i love you too 😭😭😭 i will do my very best to get us all of the answers we need, yes i will ^.^ hehe

[deadendkid4201]

Maybe I would have been better off if I had just ignored my parents and stayed outwest and maybe by now I would have been making some serious money and getting noticed but then again I probably would have been doing coke and shit all the time and probably wouldn't still be here chasing you...I've almost died several times sense you left all of our chances to figure this out are just flying by and it absolutely fucks me up if I had died that night I slashed my arm maybe you would have wished you'd changed your mind honestly even though I always dreamt of a glamorous music life I think i'm way better off living a simple one and I only want to live a simple life with you idc if it a white picket fence life I'd be happy living any life as long as I was by your side and ya your right girls wanted to date me like mikayla and shit but none of them could give me the love I needed none of them even knew how to love and I could tell I was just a highschool fling but you gave me that love I couldn't find and didn't even believe existed you always had it you've always been different and I don't believe for one second we are toxic and bad for each other.....I just wish I could make you see it to but it feels way to strongly i'm just gonna keep chasing and you're gonna keep running while yelling for me to not fall behind we both want each other you're tired of him and I get not wanting to return to me on a rebound but it wouldn't be that we might as well have been dating behind his back this whole damn time.....we are so much more then friends and it doesn't have to be this way....obviously I want you to make the choices that make you most happy but I always thought I would be one of them...otherwise....what am I even fighting for if not for your love because it's all I want you think we had to be apart so I could get the help I needed and in some ways you are right because you leaving forced me to grow up and change all my fucked up ways but we do not have to stay apart so that I continue to get the help I need and stuff you talk about nurturing me that wouldn't be the case anymore we don't need to be apart so that we can achieve our goals christine that is absolutely not true at all we do not have to be apart to grow we can help each other and push each other we have both grown....but I know I probably can't convince you of this truth I can be independent but it's absolute hell I WANT TO SPEND WHAT EVER LIFE IS LEFT IN ME WITH YOU EVEN IF IT MEANS GROWING OLD WHICH IS THE ONE THING I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO DO......I just don't know anymore idk what to do because I can't put you behind me and I don't want to and you don't seem to think we would be good for each other no matter what....and that hurts so much.....even after all this time and all the changes I've made and all the growing up I've done you still think we can't make it work...you give me all this hope you're gonna come back and we we be together and then turn around and say the complete opposite maybe I misunderstood but that is how it seemed anyway I just don't know what to do or say anymore because nothing ever seems to change...but I love you way to much to stop doing this i just can't fucking stop nor do I want you to