#I. sorry this answers kinda disorganized

[fictoweirdoesten]

How the lad's guys would deal with a split reader ♡ (Sylus, Rafayel, Caleb)

cw: gn! reader (for caleb, it's heavily implied reader is small and afab! sorry, had to self insert a bit!). bpd/splitting/disorganized attachment episode. informal writing(?). there's angst but there's also fluff I promsie. caleb is a bit freaky at the end. use of petnames (sweetie, kitten, cutie, pips, baby).

a/n: I'm kinda tired of warning those who I get too close to about my splitting episodes and possible bpd and their response always being, "Oh yeah I can handle it! I won't leave you" and then they grow distant as soon as the mood swings begin :) it's a waste of time and energy for me and I'd rather just not be friends with anyone anymore for their and my sake. So...this is a cope, self-indulgent fic for me, but I wanted this to be as inclusive as possible for anyone else going through the same things I am. I tried to include all the different reasons for splitting I could think of/personally went through (Abandonment, Envy, Self-Worth)

Lack of Zayne and Xavier because I don't see them being able to handle an unstable reader...sorry. If you're a Zayne/Xavier girly though I'm sure he'd absolutely love and adore you ♡ I just have a hard time envisioning it.

rafayel's is kinda short and caleb's is kinda long I'm sorry-

🐦‍⬛ Poor, Poor Sylus. He just had to be busy the entire week, too busy to spend time with his clingy 'kitten'.

🐦‍⬛ You walk up to Sylus in his office, watching him type away on the desktop keyboard. Your chest starts to tighten, knowing the response that he'll give you, but you hope you're proven wrong today.

🐦‍⬛ "Sylus, could we-" "Sorry sweetie, but I'm very busy right now."

🐦‍⬛ You try to hide your insecurities from Sylus as you nod and walk off, but he could tell something was off when you didn't persist like you usually would, but he decided not to bring it up.

🐦‍⬛ Poor, Poor Sylus...

🐦‍⬛ It's been 2 days since then, and you've only been texting him one or two words. You always come and visit him but now? Nowhere to be seen.

🐦‍⬛ He starts to wonder what he's done wrong...so, he takes action right away. $1000 + funds suddenly added to your account, your favorite coffee spot delivered to you as soon as you wake up, flowers delivered to your door...

🐦‍⬛ Your response? "I'm tired of you buying things and expecting me to forgive you!" You hang up, and he sits absolutely perplexed, staring at his phone.

🐦‍⬛ The twins spot their boss with an expression they rarely ever see, so they ask him what's wrong.

🐦‍⬛ "She suddenly grew distant from you?" "Maybe she's got that uh, 'BPD' thing?"

🐦‍⬛ "BPD?" Sylus pondered, and he soon got to work on his laptop, looking up everything he needed to know about the disorder. It was never confirmed that you were even diagnosed with it...but he was desperate for an answer, so why not?

🐦‍⬛ He could also just...ask, but he didn't want to bother you any further for the day (that's his excuse anyway).

🐦‍⬛ Sylus shows up at your door at midnight, and as he studies your blank expression before walking inside. He pats the space next to him on the couch, beckoning you to sit.

🐦‍⬛ "Is your recent behavior towards me because I haven't been spending time with you lately," Sylus asks, making sure not to seem judgemental or exhausted when he asks. You reluctantly nod, and he lets out a hum, suddenly wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer to him.

🐦‍⬛ "Well, just so you know, I don't hate you. I'm just incredibly busy, and I'm sorry if I've come across as distant." You shake your head, nuzzling against his arm as you mumble your own apology.

🐦‍⬛ "No need kitten. Let's just come up with a compromise. Oh and, promise me the next time I offend you somehow, let me know."

🐠 You think this fishy doesn't understand your self-destructive tendencies? Honestly the two of you probably, definitely shouldn't be a couple, but it's the clear communication and respect that keeps your relationship from falling apart.

🐠 So when you're suddenly distant from him after the art exhibit, he's quickly pestering you with as many questions as possible to figure out what's wrong.

🐠 "Was I too far away from you?" "Did I not pay attention to you as much?" "Did you misinterpret something that I said?"

🐠 You glance away from him, shaking your head. He pouts, staring at you in complete silence until a light bulb goes off.

🐠 "Is it...because of her?" You freeze. Bullseye. Rafayel sighs, his hand lightly banging his head as he fakes being distraught.

🐠 "After all this time! This cutie still insists that I have my eyes on other fish in the sea!" He lets out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head. "Honestly!"

🐠 You can't help but giggle at his antics, realizing that you were (probably) worrying over nothing once again. He squeezes and tugs at your cheeks, puckering his lips and making kissy faces at you.

🐠 "Glub Glub! This little fishie is absolutely infatuated with you! That silly woman from earlier thought she could ever compare to you. What a fool I say! Glub Glub!"

🐠 You can't help but burst into a fit of laughter then. Rafayel smiles, wrapping his arms around your waist as he rests his head on top of yours.

🐠 "I love you, cutie. You and only you."

🍎 Of course he's aware of his cute little pip's mood swings. How one little thing he does can change your whole opinion about him. He never wants you to suddenly think he's the worst human ever, that he doesn't care for you, that he doesn't love you. He tries his hardest to reassure you everyday, to flower you in kisses and hugs when he can, but sometimes even that isn't enough.

🍎 He made a mistake. A mistake he'll curse himself for years to come.

🍎 He was lying on the couch, scrolling through social media on his phone. You walk towards him, leaning down, getting ready to kiss his forehead...when you see it, when you both see it:

🍎 A woman in a one-piece body suit. Quite curvy, small waist, pretty face, the usual.

🍎 Caleb grimaces at the picture, not at all attracted to the woman and continues to scroll. But you...you suddenly moved away from him, not bothering to finish your kiss as you walked straight to the room, closing the door.

🍎 Caleb heard the slam, heard the aggression behind it, and he quickly got up and knocked on your door to come check up on you. When you don't respond, he lets himself in, hoping you'll forgive him for it later.

🍎"Hey, you alright in there pip-"

🍎 He pauses, watching you poke and pull at your skin in front of the mirror. Your face was clearly uncomfortable, and the sight made his heart ache. Why is his favorite person looking in the mirror like that?

🍎 Caleb slowly but surely walks behind you, wrapping his arms around your chest and hugging you from behind. You grunt, grabbing at his arms to pry him away from you, but he insists in keeping his hold.

🍎 "I'm...not enough for you, Caleb. You deserve someone who is."

🍎 Caleb's grip suddenly grows tighter at your confession. He's visibly angry, not at you, but whoever hurt you enough for you to always doubt him and his love for you.

🍎 "Where did this come from? Who do I need to kill this time," he jokes, but there's truth and venom buried deep within his words. You shake your head, refusing to answer any of the questions he asks. Caleb becomes frustrated at your stubbornness, but he doesn't give up. He doesn't give up on you.

🍎 He still has you in his arms, his mind racing as he tries to trace the reason for your sudden mood swing. He suddenly lets out a gasp, and you watch as his expression changes from being tense to almost guilty as he stares back at your reflection in the mirror.

🍎 "You saw...didn't you?" He asks gently, and you slowly nod. Caleb let's out a sigh, and suddenly, carries you in his arms. He sits down on the edge of the bed with you in his lap, looking up at you with beady, pleading eyes.

🍎 "Hey, look at me." He moves his hand to your cheek, carressing it gently as he lets out a sigh, a sigh full of love and adoration. "There's no other person in this world I find more beautiful, attractive, then you. Do you understand that?"

🍎 You feel yourself blush at his words, but you still remain stubborn. He smiles at your stubbornness this time, his hands moving to your waist as he pulls you closer to him.

🍎"I love you so much, baby, just as much as you love me yeah? I couldn't live without you. I couldn't love anyone else but you. It's impossible."

🍎 You can't help but feel teary at his words, and you nuzzle your face into the corner of his neck to hide your tears from him. He lets out a chuckle, holding you tightly. The two of you sit there for a while like that, quiet and enjoying each other's warmth and company.

🍎 Caleb inches his lips to your ear, whispering gently, "I can't control what appears on my feed pips, I'm sorry. Forgive me?" You nod, moving back slightly to get a better look at his face as you smile at him, poking at his face. He giggles, playfully biting your finger.

🍎 "If you want...I don't mind listing everything I love about you right now. I can even write an essay if that's what you want."

🍎 You laugh, calling him a goober, but he was absolutely serious. He moves his hands to your hips, picking you up once more as he walks back to the living room.

🍎 "And if you ever split on me again, I might have to lock you up and force you to listen to an audio recording of me saying 'I love you' for 24 hours straight."

🍎 You laugh, but he was dead serious about that, too.

[kaiasky]

so I do flow art things & obviously this has a lot of woo & astrology folks. & I have figured out a BANGER script for handling these. it works so so well

I really like the aesthetic of astrology & occult & especially how you can weave connections between numerology and tarot and astrology (get em on side)

Buuuuut... idk... astrology seems fun until people start making decisions about/for you based on it & then it's so obvious how terrible it is. (the hesitance is important u don't wanna be lecturing u wanna be sharing ur honest thoughts)

I once talked to this guy who said that because his girlfriend was a water sun fire moon, she was just always mad for no reason & that he didn't need to listen to why she was mad bc he understood that it was just her nature. what the fuck man!! (get people on side by conjuring a Shitty Dude. the guy is 100% real though.)

Buuuuut that I think they can be neat as a social technology to have deeper conversations without it being awkward! Ex: If somebody asks "what do you admire about yourself" I'd be super tempted to make some joke answer. but being able to talk genuinely about how u see urself is useful!

wait. okok I'm a cap sun virgo moon aries rising. stereotypically what does that tell you about me. (fun minigame!)

Rejected: "other than what time my mom gave birth" (u can throw this in with the right crowd for a laugh but 3/4 times I had to like explain. unfun)

(looking for stuff like hard worker, organized, leader, routines, jobs & material success) ok god I wish I'm sooo lazy and disorganized there's like 4 pans in my sink right now probably.

so like idk inferring from the signs to the personality is I think totally wrong like. [draw an incorrect & possibly insulting conclusion from their signs]. which is like so rude. but like when you explain it [repeat something they've attributed to their signs] it's like a good way to talk about yourself on a deeper level. (show u are listening. also demonstrate zodiacal knowledge by pulling out insulting stereotype for their moon/sun combo.)

the thing I do relate to with "earth sign" is that. when I want to comfort somebody the most natural way is by doing something physical. yknow--let me get you some water. I'm sorry your head hurts, here's some ibuprofen. let me cook you soup. let me bike to chipotle and buy you a burrito. like I know some people who... you just talk to them and you remember everything you love about the world. and I have to practice & work really hard to get close to that. but I *can* insist you stay hydrated & I think that counts for something. (playing, in good faith, the astrology psychoanalysis game. By playing the game well, it demonstrates my thesis about how it's a useful game but a terrible belief.)

but even then there's still... something about it that weirds me out like.. I feel like once I tell somebody my chart, it's easy to unconsciously remember the things that fit the stereotype and not the bits that don't fit, flattening people. idk it's kinda unavoidable, I feel the same with like "nerd" or "raver". or gender stereotypes too. Like it's unavoidable but I wish I could know people as just themselves without that baggage, right. (THAT'S RIGHT FUCKERS WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT GENDER ROLES. but also like. i think this plays well in the flow community where people do value being individuals & the idea that someone should try to know *you* at a deep and honest level. it's tailored to the crowd.)

(here is where I play my private little prank) i guess the other way I relate to earth sign stereotypes is like. ok when I was explaining how I feel about astrology it's all about the effects, right. Like it's not "I don't like it bc it's factually wrong" or "I like it because it connects me to spirituality". I don't like it because it's prejudiced and unfair. but I'm sometimes cautiously fond of it bc it's a conversational tool to have deep talks about personal subjects. For me it's all about what it does and how it leads people to treat others. (that's right fuckers. I don't believe in astrology Because I'm An Earth Sign. it was all leading up to this.)

generally at this point it's time to let other people talk so I don't sound lecture-y

idk like. idt I'm gonna make people stop using astrology but I do feel like it maybe gives people a perspective of like.. "oh yeah it does seem pretty fucked to use this predictively, I do rly wish people would see the real me". at the very least I hope I give them something to think abt next time they trip lmao

[sonic-4-episode-ii]

(bit of uhhh systemphobia/ableism in this one. interalized. shadow isnt actually ableist hes just bad a grieving)

tbh at first i dont think shadow would know what a system is

like sure, he grew up in a medical environment... but that doctoring was focused pmuch exclusively on physical disabilities, not mental illnesses.

even if he did find a DSM-I or something, he wouldnt have heard anything abt DID. though there are reports of it going back literal hundreds of years, they only got the proper term for it in like 2013, and it was pmuch nowhere in the dsm until recently.

even then, so so so many people act like it doesnt exist. like it isnt legit. even now, and especially back then.

i think that would cause shadow a lotta frustration. he tries to race sonic, just to be hit w 'sonic' aaying smt like "im sorry, love, hes not at front today. i can relay the message, though!"

tbh i think shadow would get pissed. that IS sonic. its his face, his body, his voice - ignoring the completely different tone used, one shadows never heard him use, one that barely sounds like him at all - so why is who is clearly sonic acting like they aren't?

they badger tails about it later, who gives them a straight answer they refuse. they interrogate knuckles, who tells them the massive history of DID in his tribe, which shadow completely ignores. annoyed (confused) tired (desperate) they go to amy, who tells them that - well, when sonic was a kid, he wasnt safe, so his brain split and made new parts of him that could help make him safe. now that he is safe, though, his brain still makes new parts, for any reason it wants - or thinks it needs to.

despite how clear these answers were, shadow wouldnt accept a single one of them.

sonic the hedgehog is one person. one concept. one thing.

a guy who loves adventure.

he is not the villain of his own story. he is not so sickeningly sweet it surprises even his little sibling. he is not so cruel and antisocial that he leaves people behind for months, refusing to talk for any reason other than personal amusement.

he is annoying. he is bothersome. he is pushy, and loud, and deeply immature.

he is frozen in time.

when shadow met him, he was all of these things. he still is. he always will be. he doesn't change. he doesn't grow.

amy grew two feet taller and has a part-time job, tails grew three feet and looks like an entirely new person. knuckles adopts a new fashion style every month.

sonic doesn't change. he has new clothes, but they're the same style he's had them in since they first met. he has a new cane, but that's just an accessory, it's nothing unique, it doesn't mean anything.

he's a superhero wannabee, a one-trick pony, the same phrase repeated over and over and over again.

maria used to tell shadow she saw monsters. not just the regular ones under the bed or in the closet, but standing in the hallway and staring at her, whispering gibberish nonsense words until she ran away, trying not to cry.

sonic told him that it has schizophrenia, apparently. some kinda mental disorder 'categorized by hallucinations, delusions, disorganized thinkin' and behavior, and flat or inappropriate affect'.

he laughed. maybe a little maniacally.

'how's that for flat?'

shadow said it absolutely was inappropriate. sonic challenged him to a race. shadow told him only if you're prepared to lose, and the two fought for hours.

they did this constantly. at least once a week. 'enjoying' each other's presence, battling their way to the top.

this routine has been changed. shattered. because one day, sonic just wasn't home.

he could grow. he could change.

he could leave

but, half a week later, he comes back, running up from behind shadow as he takes a cruise on the dark rider, scaring the shit out of him by nearly running backwards into a building

it says it heard about that race he wanted. shadow tells him the offer's off. not taking no for an answer, it says it invites him to a race.

he accepts.

[uriekukistan]

jjk driving hc’s plsss (any characters) :3

heyyy answering this so i can go to bed with happy thoughts :D (tears still in my eyes as i write) um idk how to drive a car so pls keep that in mind

can't drive. no license.

yuuji doesn't need to drive when he runs so fast. gojo is a certified passenger princess. will demand aux and a stop for a fun drink geto also doesn't need to drive because he has a bunch of curses he can ride around on choso is 150 years old, he would probably freak out if you put him behind the wheel yuuta idk he just looks like he can't drive. but he'll give u money for gas if you drive him somewhere panda i think this is self explanatory he's a panda

no license but they drive anyway

mahito because he's a menace to society. horrible driver. runs people over and thinks its funny. sukuna is actually weirdly good, but he's an ass on purpose. rides ppl's tailpipe and then when he passes them he goes slow af. honestly gojo belongs here too, but only happened one time. he totaled the car. inumaki but he's actually good at it for some reason. if he just took the drivers test...but he wont. he doesn't even have a learner's permit.

can legally drive but they really shouldnt because they're a hazard

definitely shoko. it's kinda alarming that she's the one to have a license out of sashisu because she's a disaster on the road. has one of those things that hangs off of the rearview mirror nobara is the type to be looking around for stuff in the car while she's moving, like looking around in the backseat EYES ON THE ROAD. there's a lot of stuff in her car but it's not messy if that makes sense. she just likes to be prepared. ino is also a horrible driver. always hitting curbs n shit. definitely been in quite a few accidents, so his car is the most beat up looking thing you've ever seen. the inside is surprisingly clean tho

actually good responsible drivers

ichiji & nitta like we've seen it happen so it's possible tsumiki would be decent at driving as well, probably speeds a bit but within the normal everyone-does-that range. clean car with pastel detailing inside like seat cushions and steering wheel nanami is probably the best driver here, but i think we expected this utahime is also a pretty responsible driver, but she definitely gets major road rage probably maki, she also gets major road rage tho

drives like a grandpa

megumi i love you but you can at least drive the speed limit...also its not gonna distract u to put a little music on. at least his car is clean and he has one of those car air fresheners

sorry if this seems disorganized im genuinely ?:????F>>VF????? rn and also its like really late for me, i just needed to do something fun after that chapter....

[kikita-answers-lotf]

Kikita, not to sound rude or anything but what do you see in that Alexander boy? You're so sweet and cute and he is just...him

-🎀

What…Do I see in him?

“Oh he’s just, you know, the perfect boy! He teaches me how to behave and be more “civilised” and in a path of redemption, he says. Sometimes he’s abit scary, but I trust him. He’s just, amazing, you know? He does his best to keep people safe and sound. He’s just…A saint”

“Lately, he kinda annoys me with his cape thing during meetings or gatherings, i dislike it and he gets upset if I pull it off, but I don’t know how you handle clothes! Its so itchy, restraining and uncomfy…I dont like that, even the finest shirt feels like a torture but Im trying to keep his cape on, he likes it dearly so I must be careful with it and respectful…At least its how civilised people works?? It was nice talking to you Mary, hope we can have long chats again without Merridew scolding us!”

-Kikita🦋

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

Yall im freaking late on all the asks like what😭😭😭 im so sorry im a lil lazy and disorganized so I’ll randomly answer them, school work is killing me too sooo-

bye! Love yall💕

Normam belongs to @msfisherot

Mary belongs to @beeari

[disabledstraydogs]

For the ask game, Lucy and Kyouka with ♿️, 🩼, ☔️, 🏳️‍🌈 and 🐶

I hope that's not too much! (and sorry about the questions being kinda out of order lol)

Hi anon! Because of the number of points here, we are just doing Lucy, but feel free to resend if you want us to do Kyouka as well!!!!

Lucy

♿️ - What is your disability headcanon for [character]? What are the main symptoms that they show? Be as specific or as vague as you want.

Okay Lucy to me has:

Schizoaffective disorder- To me her main symptoms would have disorganized behavior and speech, hallucinations, and mania/depressive episode

She also uses/used a colostomy bag- Although atp I'm unsure if I headcanon her as having it a permanently or just as a young teenager, I think it was either an infection or cancer that causes her to need one. In this post though we're going for it being permanent.

System Lucy is a headcanon we have- however currently I'm leaning towards Anne being a reoccurring hallucination rather than an alter

I don't know what exactly this would class as but due to the orphanage I think she would have something with her hands maybe a nerve or skin issue? Because I don't know what exactly I won't specify this but it's a Thing imo.

🩼 - What is their relationship like with their disability? Are they in denial? Do they fight against it? Are they at peace with their disability?

I think with her schizoaffective disorder she's very used to it, however I think she does have times where she is reluctant to (or judt doesn't) take her meds because she wants to be 'better' and 'normal'.

With her colostomy bag I think she despises it. Having been bullied for using one (despite it being necessary for her to survive) I think she just associates it with bad things and would hide it. She's very anxious to have people find out that she uses one because she doesn't want to answer any of the intrusive questions that come with it. Sometimes she struggles to change it because of this.

🐶 - Has their past affected their disability and it's formation? How?

I think this is an interesting question. In Lucy's case I think the bullying and mistreatment 100% caused (or triggered) her schizoaffective disorder. Obviously we don't know her parents so there could be a genetic element too. But I think being called a freak and so forth impacted her majorly and had her developing delusional thoughts at a young age that weren't picked up on. Also I think the nature of her ability would aid in her disorder.

I don't think there was much she could do to change the possibility of having a colostomy, although I think the orphanage could have picked up on her medical needs sooner and gotten her help that means she may not have needed one.

☔️ - What does a 'bad day' look like for them? How do they cope with this?

I think a bad day for Lucy would involve a lot of emotions and sobbing. She wants attention and reassurance but isn't sure how to ask for this. I think she would lock herself in her ability and just. be held by Anne because she feels like no one else can love her.

I think if she was in mania rather than the depression she would act incredibly impulsively, and possibly have an aggressive streak when she's manic.

For her colostomy, it causes skin irritation, and that makes her upset because it's like a permanent reminder that it's there. Also if it leaks and Lucy is in a bad place she will break down and possibly panic depending on where she is when or if she's in a bad place in general.

🏳️‍🌈 - A random headcanon about [character] and their disability

I've said this before but I think Lucy is a horror junkie, however I also think this could make her psychosis symptoms worse. The Guild have pretty much banned her from watching horror films.

For a headcanon we haven't spoken about.... Besdies Anne, I think Louisa and Atushi are the only people who have actually seen Lucy's colostomy bag. I though Louisa is the only person Lucy has let close enough to help her with changing it.

[skybristle]

im just gonna dump a ton of starlight thoughts i had from my dms with mac moonsofmachinery because ast is Really fucking hard for me to write and. Idk. What do you think? my brains kinda mush rn but.... shakes her around... a lot of this is disorganized sorry it was very train of thought when i was writing it. @arsonstick come get your thangggg. i cut out what mac said where it wasn't relevant but some of it was important for flow of conversation

I think its very like. Interesting??? How ast went from being so hardworking towards the problem and nobody bothered her [partially because of adversion after maw, partially because of the group being generally a disorganized clusterfuck] but she was basically the only bh iterator who like

Actually. Did their job.Besides sparks but sparks is doing it for fucked up reasons

So im like. Very intrigued by whatever sent it spiraling and its motivations and feelings through it

Especially being rather asocial

If i hadddddd to guess [idk why im talking like this with my own characters it makes sense in my rambling work with me here mac] it Probably has something to do with the triple affirmative and iterator soceity basically descending into chaos

and factions

probably aligned with some fucked up form of sliverism for a time in regards to seeking personal ascension??? Maybe the only way she saw would be to take the old path. A blend of her very traditional and devoted beliefs and all of this new stuff it was introduced to via aurora

And that begins to stir in asts mind and makes a very. Very deadly combination

i think it would be fun too if like the culture of her city really rejected the streamlining of ascension and void fluid these days. Probably believed you had to actually make the pilgrimmage- otherwise you're not REALLY going to the void sea are you?

So maybe i won't move the rift. It would be really cool if there was all of these religious tunnels and stuff baked into the walls of it as you descend down, down, down. Like two pathways of religious ruins damaged by rain in a v shape sort of region if it was in the game

i think the sliver fiasco would have really enlightened her to like. The futility of it all and what she was doing. Inherently seeking a solution kind of went against the very traditional and grounded principles of her ancients- and she DID genuinely believe in her ancients. in some fucked up twisted way by breaking taboo and doing what ast does to whispers and etc etc etc it believes its following what they would have wanted. What silk truly would have wanted for their daughter

Because i think starlight at least in the beginning was seeking the solution, well, for her parents. And believed in their cause of freeing the world after they left. But after sliver left them with no answers whats the fucking point? Which i feel like is the mindset of a LOT of iterators. But. You know. She has weird and strange diseases

Got to imagine talking to basically no-one and being left in asts own echo chamber was. Uhm. Not good for it being sane and normal about it. Like yeah a lot of unstable iterators were effected badly and are also isolated but you know most of them like. Chat to people regularly and have friends and shit. starlight DIDN'T

which is why despite her apathy she gets SO ATTACHED to people who indulge her. Its why she answers to maws beck and call. Especially when maw frames herself as a 'higher power' and starlight is still kind of in a way scrambling after its beliefs in ascension were so shaken

I genuinely like. Believe that starlight did that to whispers with the intention of freeing them. She knew better. They were scared and didn't know themself and were trapped in a body that didn't let them live. Ast had to free them. Ast had to

Maybe the price to pay is some proding, some experimentation, some data points for next time

To it its completely fucking reasonable!! which just goes to show how FUCKED she's gotten

MAC: "honestly the fact starlight thinks ast is doing the right thing 'freeing' whispers makes it so much worse to me than if. it'd just been out of pure maw-like malice

ITS SO FUCKED UP..."

YEAH. AND I THINK ITS EXTRA FUCKED BECAUSE MAW IS MALICIOUS. SHE WANTS TO HURT PEOPLE AND HAS STARLIGHT WRAPPED ALL AROUND HER FUCKING FINGER

MAC: "Dude starlight could've been a fine person given different circumstances, she's not. actively malicious. but god do her actions tend to end in the worst things possi.... ohhhhhh heyyyy wait, sounds like THE ENTIRE PLOT OF BENDING HORIZONS!!!!"

I think starlight seeking aurora originally is like... so interesting too. Ast probably heard MANY of her citizens bitch and whine about albedo but you know. When the gears start turning and she starts diverging. Maybe. Maybe aurora knows something. Maybe aurora can put this all to bed- can make her feel normal and go back to work and be fine and content again. But aurora just opens the fucking floodgates and basically gives it all the sliverist and taboo chats and etc

TO him its like. He doessnt see consequences but also not much direct responsibility in things because 'well anyone can find anything eventually' which. Uhm. Aurora honey starlight would NOT have gone on global had you not gone 'welllll I don't know but all of these people seem to be talking about it :3"

i think starlight genuinely saw aurora as someone with such interesting and open perspective and ast was SO goddamn desprate to be affirmed. and. i mean. Aurora blew it off but Boy Did It Get Affirmed

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

:3

No real question or anything to say other than how are you cherry?

Aw thank you Sky 🥺 I'm very sorry I haven't been very talkative and it seems like I'm ignoring you. It isn't fair to you and I shouldn't leave you without an explanation.

Short answer I'm not doing as good as I wish- but I think I'll get better eventually! Just right now it's kinda rough.

I've just been super stressed and exhausted with work and figuring out all my college stuff- and for some reason my burn out and struggling on hyperfixations isn't helping a lot. 😅 I guess I feel just really lost and disorganized I don't feel I can function like a person. I'm sorry to you and many others if I seem distant and disinterested- that's quite the opposite I love all of you and I'm lucky that I have so many of you who want to reach and and talk to me. And I can't thank you enough for being so kind and patient with me. 🩷

[cloud-somersault]

I’m an anonymous who sent a recent ask regarding the monkey elders and their opinion of MK, and now I feel a bit worried so juust in case it was in part because of that, please don’t feel the need to re-record your podcast just to include that answer, it’s ok! I know you sent the request for questions some days ago now so sorry if it seemed I was submitting one late, I honestly just kinda randomly wondered about it now and I didn’t mean to add it to the pile. It’s fine if you can’t address it!!

Oh, no it's okay!!! It's not your fault. I just saw that question and made to answer it but I was like "i should probably talk about this because there's a lot that goes into it."

And I need to rerecord it anyway, I was half asleep and was rambling too much. I don't like how disorganized it is. And i go on for too long about things. But I can give a short answer now, and expand on it in the podcast!!! so then everyone's happy!!!

[starstruckxstray]

Ooc: I know I have been saying this ad nauseum but I feel like I haven't really explained why I've been struggling especially badly as of late. I apologize.

Until I get this class planned out and actually over with (March 11th-14th), I may not be able to do a lot of actual roleplaying. I normally don't do this kind of thing at work, they kinda threw it on me.

While my manager is helping me form actual lesson plans, I do feel like they're leaving me to do something I have hardly any skill for. So it's taking a lot out of me, especially when I'm already struggling with fostering puppies that had nowhere else to go. Been trying to find them homes but they may end up staying with me, and it's been tough mentally and financially (and I say this with all the love in my heart. I do love them, I just don't think I was ready for all of this).

I do want to reply and answer things more regularly, I just need to get a grip of real-life stuff first. I'm sorry I've been so disorganized and unresponsive, this all happened unexpectedly. But I do want to write with you all, and intend to. It just might take a couple weeks (hopefully not but I don't know).

[wanderxdusk]

Ooc: I know I said this before, but I apologize for not responding to hardly anything.

Until I get this class planned out and actually over with (March 11th-14th), I may not be able to do a lot of actual roleplaying. I normally don't do this kind of thing at work, they kinda threw it on me.

While my manager is helping me form actual lesson plans, I do feel like they're leaving me to do something I have hardly any skill for. So it's taking a lot out of me, especially when I'm already struggling with fostering puppies that had nowhere else to go. Been trying to find them homes but they may end up staying with me, and it's been tough mentally and financially.

I do want to reply and answer things more regularly, I just need to get a grip of real-life stuff first. I'm sorry I've been so disorganized and unresponsive, this all happened unexpectedly. But I do want to write with you all, and intend to.

[neoncolorblocks]

Can I ask what your thoughts on transfem Leo? It's one of my favorite headcanons and I was silently hoping you'd make a drawing on the HC or some of your own personal headcanons :)

I actually HC both Donnie and Mikey as non-binary but I haven’t pinned down what I feel about Raph or Leo yet.

I’m a bit biased toward male presenting Leo bc his character really helped me feel better about my own views on gender. But I’m all for anyone having fun and their own interpretations of characters, I understand transfem Leo means a lot to many people in the fandom. So I try to design the turtles with an even balance between male and female presenting traits. Like giving them all eyelashes for example.

Honestly though it’s kinda hard for me to think of a female turtle that wouldn’t look the same as the TMNT. Venus in my AU just looks like the turtle tots do bc real life turtles just don’t have many differences at a young age. Also I may or may not have implied that the cloak my older Leo design wears is just a split skirt around his shoulders… I haven’t found a way to make skirts look decent on my turtles yet..

Leo’s perfect no matter the gender presentation tho it’s just a fact.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I know you kinda answered this already, but I just need it in more detail... sorry :(

How would Konig be with kids? With the way they go at it like animals, the reader is bound to get pregnant, right?👀 Would he be happy? What gender would he want? Would he spoil them? How would he treat the reader while pregnant? Would he want more? Do you think he could ever give up his job to spend more time with his family?

Sorry if all the questions are annoying, I'm just genuinely curious 😭

Ehm. I must say I could never find questions about fics and characterizations I wrote annoying 🥹🩷💞 Quite the contrary sweetie!

So, thoughts on how (yandere) König would be with kids, pregnant reader etc under the cut 🥰

How would Konig be with kids? With the way they go at it like animals, the reader is bound to get pregnant, right?👀

Ummmm yes, first of all I'm a horrible person for not writing my smut with sex ed purposes in mind. I usually skip the "Where's the condom"/"When's the last time you had an STD test?" convos unless they serve a narrative purpose. I have no excuse, I'm just lazy like that 🥲

So we have to start with the assumption that reader uses some type of contraception or then König has like an assortment of condoms in his pocket at all times. Kids would be a choice for them.

If and when they get a kid or two, König would be a hot & cold dad. He doesn't have a role model for good parenting (I suspect with the way I wrote him, his mother was abused in some form or another too and didn't/couldn't protect herself or her child from abuse). It makes König distant at times: confused and shut down one moment and extremely affectionate the next. The kids would have a high risk of forming an anxious and/or disorganized attachment style (very similar to Königs).

Would he be happy? What gender would he want? Would he spoil them?

I think kids would calm him down even more than the long-term relationship/eventual marriage. König isn't the most mature person, but he would "grow up" very soon after becoming a father. Kids would not offer a magical gateway out of his traumas and restlessness by any means, but he would surely find a measure of peace with them, forget his own demons for a moment while watching them grow. I believe he would leave the caring business for the reader (mainly because he isn't exactly a nurturer) but he would play with his kids a lot and spoil them with new toys and other material things.

König has no preference when it comes to gender, but he would have very little or no concept of gender as a spectrum: boys would simply be treated as boys and girls as girls. Which also means that girls get the princess treatment while boys are taught how to use weapons 🙄 Boys would also get to see the stern version of dad more often.

He would worry a lot about them getting bullied at school, especially boy/s (all in all he would project onto a boy sooo much). He would be worried every time they return from kindergarten and school and look for signs of trouble and distress. He would want to teach his boy/s to fight and very likely forces them to start boxing or wrestling at a very young age.

How would he treat the reader while pregnant? Would he want more? Do you think he could ever give up his job to spend more time with his family?

Once he gets over the abyss-like realization that he's going to be a dad, König would become the proudest, most excited and fussing partner there is. He would be the kind of man who forbids a pregnant woman from climbing too many steps – no matter what modern science and studies say about these things. He would follow most of the advice with a military-like orderliness and then suddenly brush some things off by claiming he knows what's best for his lady and the baby (e.g. too much physical activity is dangerous so reader must never exert herself).

He would prefer one, maybe two kids because more would cause him too much stress. He would escape the buzzing family life to work because home has become (funnily enough) "too chaotic". Then again if he had only one kid it would make him want to spend more time at home. He would spoil the shit out of an only child.

König loves his job and would never quit it but he would certainly accept, even ask for more and longer leaves to be with his family. He would also try and get reader to quit her job so she could be a stay at home mom while he provides for the family. 👀

[eurydicees]

Ahhh! A Kaiser fanart has been spotted! I simple must know your opinions and predictions for him and Ness!! I didn't are too much for them at first beyond being fun antagonists but now I like them more and more tbh.

HELLO !!!! ok so sorry this took so long to answer, but i have been #Thinking about them soooooo much over the last few chapters. under the cut bc this fell out of control

i also didn't really care too much for them at the start: kaiser felt kinda like a flat antagonist and just kind of. There for the purposes of isagi having someone to compete against, and having someone who was an elevation from rin (who i adore and miss every day and wish was more majorly involved again, but that's a side tangent).

but anyways i have been slowly changing my mind as i realize that both kaiser and ness are absolutely fucking insane??? like. i read some of their dialogue and go ???? there is something deeply wrong with you actually.

it's also rly their relationship that's so interesting to me. like i want to believe that it's not one sided and kaiser does value ness, but it's also getting harder and harder to believe that. i desperately want some backstory as to their time together in bastard münchen before the NEL--like, they had to have some reason to bond and for ness to be so loyal, there has to be something there, right? otherwise why would ness be so dedicated to him?

it's also really interesting to see how kaiser is soooooo obsessed with isagi, and how he's getting rapidly more obsessed with him. like seeing this panel made me a little insane ngl.

(chp 207)

kaiser's growing obsession with isagi is really interesting in comparison to how he's kind of leaving ness behind. i'm curious to see what ness does with that--is he going to hold on even tighter to his bond with kaiser, or is he going to move forwards? it'd be reeaaalllyyyy interesting to see him team up more with isagi and assist some goals there.

i'm also really intrigued by them because they feel almost like a parallel to what reonagi could be if they were a little more codependent and a little more fucked up, yk? like kaiser and ness have this weird dynamic of dependence and loyalty; it's almost hauntingly similar to reo and nagi's dynamic of reliance and trust. like, if reonagi got a little more intense, and if they hadn't split up in the second selection in order to learn how to stand on their own, i think maybe they'd look something like kaiser and ness. it's really interesting to see a way they could potentially be if they dug their heels a little deeper into their original partnership.

i'm really curious--and hope we see--how kaiser and ness formed this partnership and why it's like this. ness' obsession with kaiser and kaiser's more novel obsession with isagi, thus leaving ness behind, is a really interesting triangle. it's also interesting bc of kaiser trying to leave bastard münchen and ness not really being aware of that until the process has started. i'm also really curious as to why ness decided to go to the NEL--surely not the entire team went, just a select few--and what he's hoping to get out of it, or if he just went because of kaiser.

all in all, this has been kind of a disorganized mess of thoughts, but i am really interested in where they go from here. i almost feel like kaiser could, in this game against ubers specifically, begin to fade away and out of the narrative. isagi seems to have decided that he has defeated kaiser already and i'm curious to see kaiser's response. right now, with the "you're finally big enough to eat" line, it seems like kaiser is planning to come back even stronger. but ness seems to be struggling emotionally now that kaiser is turning his attention to a rival (vs a friend, kinda, which is interesting as well). so also interested in ness' response to this power struggle that he's clearly losing, against both kaiser and isagi.

but hm. what do i know. i'm really excited to see where this goes!!!

[mockiery]

Hey. Hey. Pspspsppss. Explain your writing process to me. Please?

asjdghs ok in all seriousness idek fam. it's very disorganized and nonlinear and irregular af. much like this answer that got away from me so i'm gonna put it under the cut <3

i start with an Idea™ that has bonked me over the head. i am then possessed by the Idea, and i dump the concept onto a page in onenote as quickly as possible. it pours out of me like a fountain and the scene just kinda. creates itself.

it's pretty much always dialogue that comes to me first, with some major framing and emotional beats of surrounding paragraphs. sometimes the dialogue doesn't come for certain parts of the scene or i already have a vision of this particular section, so i'll describe the scene simply in a paragraph and sometimes later i'll come back and flesh it out. dialogue is something that tends to be the easiest for me. maybe not always voice for some characters, but their meaning and character-drive, absolutely.

and then from there, once the possession ends and what i have is out of me, it's mostly just. staring at the doc and making minor edits and additions around it over the next few days and/or weeks until i get bonked over the head with Idea: Part 2 Electric Boogaloo and so forth, always scrambling to keep up with them.

since writing mk fic and being actually interactive with other ppl and posting my writing, i've started sharing more little bites or even full drafts of my stuff and getting feedback, which, a lot of the time, is like. keysmashes and feral all caps comments, but they definitely help me know what's working and help me in the motivation department. recently i've specifically had the lovely @fdelopera help me out with full blown beta reading and some editing, they have been an absolute godsend (ily btw, tysm 💕).

Music helps me get in the zone sometimes, and keep me on track. I listened to Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers about halfway through writing "your grounding touch", and it gave me some ideas about imagery and sensory stuff i wanted to focus in on more. There are also details in that fic inspired by some of the lyrics, if u feel like looking. It's also a general Vibe and a good marc song.

Music is just generally good for ideas for me too. Very good for calling on the Bonking of Ideas. When I'm hyperfixated on something i make a playlist about it so I can be in that world all day. I'm an all-day music listener, it's essential. (though when i get in the writing zone it can be silent and I won't notice for like an hour or two).

There's also the focus aspect of music too. If i start to associate one song with a piece, I'll listen to that song on repeat while I'm at work and it keeps my adhd brain on track (or close enough to it) so I can keep thinking about and planning it even while i'm busy.

I rarely write anything wholly linear, some parts getting expanded later after what was going to be minor edits snowballed into another few hundred or even thousand words. originally in "your grounding touch, marc's initial scene with layla was a lot shorter, and when writing, the first line for a while was him asking layla what she saw during their blackout. the section of steven's scene with layla researching DID was originally one paragraph before i fleshed it out and gave it dialogue, and was blessed with "you're based on the hero." and then jake at the end of was a late game addition only in the last 2 drafts, but felt essential.

sorry i rambled a lot there but that tends to happen when u let me talk about my writing, so thank u for enabling me <3

[in-my-feels-probably]

Hi!! I was wondering if I could please have a romantic ship with a boy from the golden trio era?

I’m 5’4 and I have long curly hair and bright green eyes. I’m and ENTJ 7w8, and a Gryffindor. I adore all sciences but especially biology and chemistry, which makes sense because I’m going to be a surgeon. I can be stubborn and a tad loud, I have a large friendgroup and am very extroverted. I like using my knowledge to make people laugh because I like joking around, even if it gets me in trouble- laughter is the best medicine. I’m not the best with comforting emotions, but I really try my hardest to give good advice. People trust me and I take that as a large responsibility.

I can be impulsive and sometimes irritable but I’m very slow to true anger because I’ve learned I’m scary when angry and need to controll my temper. I love animals (especially dolphins and cats), whimsigothic and obnoxious patterns, coffee with cinnamon, fireworks, and roller/ice rinks even though I have zero balance. I can often be found watching a rom-com or horror movie and eating a snack while multitasking and doing homework. I can be disorganized and a procrastinator, but I always get it done. I’ve been told I have a RBF but I swear I’m really nice unless you say something cruel against my friends, me, or my family. I really dislike judgy people, people who hurt innocents, racists, homophobes (looking at u JK), and those who think violence is always the answer. I also dislike those who have no appreciation for the world around them

I enjoy knowledge for the sake of knowing, and I read a lot of true crime and mysteries because not knowing the end is always the most fun part. I also love art, painting, singing, playing an instrument, acting, the whole lot. I’m the first person on the dance floor and the last to leave. My favorite color is red, but purple and green are close behind. The best person to be is yourself, and it’s the motto I live by. I pride myself on being the only me ever. Thanks for listening to my rambling and I’m excited to see who think I’d end up with at Hoggity-Woggity-Hogwarts!

hi! thank you for participating :)

i’m so sorry, but i’ve stared at this post for like ten minutes and im so tired, but i don’t want to make you wait anymore, so if you don’t mind im gonna do a kinda fast version of this. it’s the last one i have in my inbox. so im sorry if it’s not as cohesive as some of the other ones i’ve done of this, it might seem a little jumbled. but im close to falling asleep and i don’t want to forget about this request or any of my ideas.

anyways, i ship you with neville!

i think you being extroverted would make it easier for him to talk to you. he’s a little introverted himself, but he’d open up around you when you made him comfortable enough to be himself. plus, he’d get really excited when he realized you were into science. idk how into botany you are, but he’d love telling you about it, and he’d love it even more that you were willing to actually listen to him and not brush him off. and you’d mutually bond over your love for animals and magic creatures.

i think he’d really appreciate that you’re the type of friend to stand up for him if people were rude. if they said something about blood purity, or his parents and what bellatrix did, or just anything shitty to him, he’d know that you’d be there to back him up. i think he does have what it takes to stand up for himself, he just sometimes need the nudge. and you’d be more than happy to help out.

overall, i think neville would know that he can be himself around you. there’s nothing you would judge him for, and he’d never judge you. when he found out you liked to dance, he’d be thrilled. he’d ask you to whatever annual dance there was, and practice all night when you said yes. people like ron or seamus would tease the two of you for dancing all night, but it wouldn’t bother you at all. luna would applaud you, dancing along with you.

“thanks for coming with me,” he’d say.

you’d smile, settling your arms around his shoulders. “i wouldn’t miss it.”

you’d be in a red dress (or suit, or whatever it is you’d prefer) and neville would tell you how beautiful you looked, gently swaying with you back and forth.

you’d grin, swaying along with him. “you look beautiful, too.”