#I've never written before so sorry if there's a million mistakes

[tojjist]

“At Least” S. Gojo

☆ genre: angst to fluff (kinda)

☆ pairings: Gojo Satoru x f! reader

☆ summary: After Geto left, nothing has been the same. Especially not your relationship with Gojo Satoru. Once you decide to move to Kyoto for good, Gojo is less than pleased. But fate does not seem to want to let you go.

☆ cw: mentions of sex, depressed gojo, not spoiler free, hopping between timelines but like i added non-canon events, smoking, drinking, getting drunk, high school Gojo being a high school boy, cussing, mentions of drunk sex but it doesn’t happen, mentions character death (from the anime), gojo satoru (yes that's a trigger warning).

☆ wc : 5.6k

☆ a/n: this has been in the doing for so long? I've been waiting to have the chance to upload it for maybe a year now smh. Also was originally written for an irl of mine lmao

“Oh my god,” you emphasize each word, pushing the wooden chair away with your knee. “Satoru, is it yours?”

His black pupils, lined with iris the color of morning skies, study your figure from behind the shaded glasses, pink lips quirking slightly upwards in approval of your attention.

“Nah, it's only staying with me for a week,” he stated, watching nervously as you strode over to him. “His owner is away for some business.”

Your attention remained fixed on the pet in Satoru's long, long arms. Your face lit up when a bark escaped the infant animal. “Can I hold it?”

Satoru watched over you carefully, pleading eyes coming in line with his blues. You make it hard to say anything other than an immediate yes, but he tries to stretch out the conversation to his best ability.

“It's 400 yen for 10 minutes,” he muttered, sarcasm dripping from his words. He earned a look of amusement from you; a small victory. He then braced himself for the next part. Satoru bent down, meeting you eye-to-eye, and noticed your breath catching in anticipation. “Or... you can shorten your skirt.”

Your face took no time to grow hot, not giving any verbal answer besides the blank expression you stare at him with. For a second, Gojo let himself think he's the victor of this little challenge he started in his head. But he soon came to realize how grave of a mistake he's made.

You're not flustered, you're angry.

“You're such a fucking pervert,” you fume, eyes glaring daggers. He dares not move, noticing the way your eyes flutter over his face.

“You're truly unbelievable,” the shorter male chuckled, making sure he didn't bump into Satoru's now-bruised arm. “What were you even thinking?”

“I thought it was funny, y'know?” He huffed in response. Gojo's fingers ran through his own bright locks as he took a seat on the wood hung up by metal chains. "Besides, has she always been this strong? Physically, I mean."

Geto stared into the reddish sky of dusk, placing himself into a swing in turn and kicking the air so the swing would start moving. "I don't know. Girls are really full of surprises.”

He never thought, not in a million years, things would come to this. Ever since Gojo's last encounter with Geto after he, well, changed... Gojo became unable to face anyone quite the same way he did before.

How did he get here? How did things escalate to this? Thinking about it, Geto had shown signs of a change in his heart and mind. It was Satoru's fault, was it not? He should have done better. He should have noticed. How could he not have? wasn't he the strongest? Wasn't that his job? How could he be so bad at everything?

How could he fail everyone like this?

“Gojo-San?”

Your feminine voice cut his train of thought. He almost forgot the situation he is now stuck in. He's been doing that a lot: losing himself in thought, mind almost immune to the outer world until he temporarily lost his sense of self. Nothing felt quite the same any more. It was like the world had lost its color.

“Sorry- What's up?” He turned to you. Gojo-san, you called him. When did you stop using his given name? What's with the '-san'? Gojo hadn't realized that losing one person was the first step, and now he found himself deep in the road of losing everyone.

And now he's stuck in the elevator with the girl he had liked for so long. He couldn't find it in himself to say anything to you, to push your buttons like he always did or joke around. When did the world become so heavy? He does not know.

“Are you okay? You seemed off.”

Your face is devoid of any genuine emotion, seemingly expressionless. But your voice is laced with concern. Gojo could only guess you didn't want him thinking you pity him or anything of such. But if that isn't the case, he wouldn't know. He's too tired to bother thinking about it.

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine,” he smiled in assurance, “Just bothered by, well, this-” he threw his hand in the way of the control panel. The elevator doors have been stuck for almost twenty minutes now. How pleasant.

“uh huh,” you sigh, turning back around. How did you turn so cold?

When the silence stretches, you start a conversation, hesitant at first. “By the way, I got accepted as a helper in a nursery in Kyoto,” you mutter, gaze avoiding his own. “they're expecting me to start work right after spring break.”

Spring break?

Holy shit. It hit him like a truck. That’s barely a week and a half from now.

“Spring break? Why so soon?”

“That’s when the students file back in,” you mumble, fiddling with the watch placed around your wrist. You pause to read the time, then turn to meet his eyes. “I’m leaving in four days to get settled.”

“Oh…” His breath caught, “Train?”

What a stupid question. He knows. Satoru has never been unintelligent, especially in conversing. But now his unintelligence shines through as if it’s his only trait. He’s glad you don’t question it.

“Yeah, I have no other form of transport really.”

“Well, uh…” He hates himself. He hates himself for not doing anything. He hates himself for being so weak and  cowardly, for being unable to keep his friends around him, for shutting everyone he holds close out. But now, he especially hates himself for being unable to feel happy for you, or to congratulate you on the opportunity, “come visit us every once in a while, yeah?”

Your mouth remains shut, only staring at the tall man before your eyes. The silence stretches between the two of you once again, and you don’t find it in you to speak of how you feel.

“You.. you know you could have died, right? We all could have b-but you…” You trail off, thoughts splattered like a spilled pot of ink. Although you seemed unfazed, in your mind you were anything but. Haibara, Riko, and all the losses that trailed and every event that followed has been stressful and nerve-wrecking. And even in the quietness and silence of the general atmosphere, it has been nearly impossible to find peace within yourself.

“Well, I didn’t. What happened had passed. Can you change that? I doubt so. No point in ‘if’ and ‘could’ve’.”

Before you could respond,the lights flickered back on. You grow unsure if you’ve struck a nerve, but that wasn’t what you meant. Gojo’s response had nothing to do with what you said, you were sure he knew exactly what your words were meant for. Why is he so scared of confronting it?

You don’t know. You could never hope to know because you and Gojo Satoru live in different worlds, the man who was only Satoru some time ago. You were worlds apart, yet  Satoru loved to play pretend that he lived in the same world as you, even when he stuck out like a sore thumb. But he was no longer. Ever since Geto left… it’s safe to say everyone has been changing slowly, deforming from their previous lives and personalities. But Satoru flipped, like the head and tail of a coin, he got himself a new face. He turned into Gojo Satoru; the strongest. A soul unalive. A broken boy in an ever growing body. A stranger.

Two days later you find yourself still roaming the campus , searching so desperately for something. Anything. A reason to stay, perhaps? You don’t find it anyway. You have no attachment as this place holds nothing but misery. Or that’s what you told yourself over and over as you packed your things.

Your steps were graceful, walking so cautiously as if careful to not wake someone up. Your fingers find rest on the old, dusty door frame, pushing yourself into the room that hadn’t been used for a good month or so. The classroom looked the same as it always did. Except for the shadow that loomed over it; a gray shade that sent chills down your spine. Or maybe it’s just your imagination. 

Then you spot something rather out of place. You’re sure you’ve never seen it before and although you know it’s none of your business, the way it tugs at the strings of your curiosity is undeniable.

It’s red, poking out of what you’re sure is Gojo’s desk. The gloomy classroom was no fit for paper with a color so vibrant. 

Your heart skips a beat when you glimpse the seat next to Satoru’s. You do your best to avoid looking at Geto’s desk any further. You busy yourself with the task at hand, reaching out for the mysterious paper hidden in the wooden desk. Shivers run up your arm at the texture of the scrunched paper.

You attempt to straighten it to your best ability, strained by his hard work of crumbling it with obvious frustration. you can barely make out the letters of your name in the middle of the paper, outlined by a messy circle. How Gojo of him. A few lines stick out of the ‘circle’, one of them has the name of a steakhouse somewhere in Tokyo. Another has a date, reading somewhere along February. It’s near impossible to make out what the small combination of letters say, especially when Satoru’s handwriting is closer to symbols than a comprehensible language.

The thought of it was so funny it didn’t feel like him at all. Satoru never planned anything. Every breath he took was based on pure impulse. Never would it have occurred to you that he thinks through things, let alone brainstorm.

The thought makes you smile. But the realization that he never asked you out because he changed his mind or everything that happened getting in his way makes your stomach churn unpleasantly. 

You decide it’s probably for the best to never bring it up. It would only make matters worse for both of you. Life ran its course; who are you to try and change it?

“I apologize, but my answer remains. I refuse to take part in this,” you spoke in an even tone. “I have a job and a life away from jujutsu. I’ve made it clear sorcery is not a part of my life anymore.”

"That’s completely understandable,” the old man argued, his voice hoarse with age. You’re pretty sure you hear anger further straining his voice, “but your technique is quite strong. That strength could be of great assistance if put to use.”

“Thank you, sir,” you dip your head, maintaining eye contact with the decaying man. “But I truly apologize. The decision is final.”

“If you ever do change your mind, please let us know. We’d be more than happy to hear it.”

You almost let a sigh of relief escape. Finally he gave up. You end up only nodding your head in response gratefully, retreating from the old man. As soon as you're safe and out of sight, you let your posture drop, eyes rolling back in annoyance. These guys are truly as relentless as ever.

You stopped upon a familiar scent catching in your nostrils. Lifting your head up, your eyes roam around, scanning the room for your friend.

“You look troubled,” Shoko approaches you, taking the cigarette out from between her teeth. “What’s with the face?”

“How is that man even alive,” you look at her, “he’s ancient.”

Your comment earns a light chuckle from the brunette. “I’m glad I never have to get caught up in this bullshit.”

“Blissed aren’t you,” you roll your eyes as you speak. “I shouldn’t have come in the first place, I knew they were going to do this.”

“It’s alright, you’re all done now. Here-” Your friend then lifts the cigarette up, putting it near your mouth. When you don’t show any resistance she, being the bad influence she has always been, proceeds to place it between your lips. You waste no time, making quick work of the drag you inhale, bringing the familiar cloud of toxic chemicals and tobacco into your lungs. Your expression relaxes, shifting into one of relief. Shoko scoffs playfully, muttering that you’re dramatic under her breath before she pulls her cigarette from you, taking in a drag.

“Satoru’s here, by the way,” Shoko didn’t need to look at you to guess the way your eyes snap towards her. She bites back a smile. “He’s calmed down. He’d even seem the same as long as you don’t squint too hard.”

“Good for him,” you mutter, trying to seem as unbothered and nonchalant as your accelerating heart rate would allow. You avoid looking at Shoko, trying to seem disinterested. You know she’d pretend you weren’t gawking at her the second she said his name.

“He’s trying, you know. He’s just as nervous as you are.”

“‘M not nervous,” you scoff, “For god’s sake. It’s been ten years already.”

Satoru is stressed. He's nervous, as Shoko put it. He’d spent so long trying to ignore the past, pretend the past wasn’t at all. He couldn’t confront it. He didn’t want to. Satoru knows what he’s done, he's aware that he hurt you the last time you two had interacted. And that was ten years ago. He even let you leave without so much as a goodbye. How could he look you in the eye and pretend nothing has ever happened?

Gojo didn’t want to face the consequences of what he’s done. More so what he hasn’t. So many things were left unsaid in the elevator that day. They’ve been hanging over Satoru ever since, weighing his heart down and wearing it out.

What if he’s met by another woman? Ten years change a lot as is. What if the eyes that meet his aren’t yours? What if he finds himself talking to a stranger that carries around your name and features? Of all the horrors Gojo Satoru had faced in his life, nothing caused dread to pool in the pit of his stomach like this thought does.

Shoko seems to find something beyond you interesting. You don’t bother to turn to see as the brunette has always been a little in her own head. She’s probably just dozed off.

“Hey, think you can hold this for me?” Shoko muttered once Gojo crossed her sight. She stands facing you, averting his gaze. “I’ll be right back, nature’s calling.”

From his distance, Gojo couldn’t make out what the two of you were saying. He watched as your shoulders shook, presumably in laughter. Shoko then made her away from you, barely sparing Satoru a glance.

Every step he took felt heavy, weights landing on his shoulders as he moved towards you. He watched smoke emerge from over your head. He didn’t know you smoked. And even though he’s not completely sure what you do for a living now, he’s not expecting any nursery to accept a smoker in their team.

His long strides finally arrived, opting to remain a step behind you. Close enough to make his presence known.

The aura was unmistakable, almost as if it could be physically sensed. You freeze in place, the cigarette remaining a few inches from your lips. Even after he changed his perfume to one a lot more manly and appealing, and clearly grew taller judging by the shadow he cast over you, his presence still had the same strength as it did before. If not stronger. Anyone else would say it’s intimidating. But you find surprising comfort in it.

“That’s going to kill you,” his hand  reached from over your head, making sure to not cause any unnecessary physical contact. His fingers slip the burning cigarette  from your grip. You find yourself unable to make a single move in response, only watching his actions unfold.

He took a step, moving closer, dimming the light from the roll by rubbing it against the metal bars, then throwing it off the balcony. “You’re too young to kill yourself like that.”

“That bitch Shoko set me up,” You hiss, regaining your composure. “Will you look who showed up. You’re killing the ecosystem by throwing waste like this, Gojo.”

Although you haven’t glanced his way yet, You were every bit sure his mouth was quirked in the same smug smirk he wore so much when you were younger. You could even hear it in his voice as he spoke, “You haven’t grown at all, have you?”

“Oh shut it,” you chuckle. “You’re still as immature as ever. How you could be a manchild at 27 is a wonder to me.”

27… It felt so weird to say it out loud. Weren’t you just 17 a few days ago?

“Oh, how you hurt me,” he says in exaggeration, his voice conveying anything but the hurt he claims to feel. “That isn’t very nice of you.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” You say. He laughs a little, you do too. But the silence that follows is not that of a joke. He knew what you’re referring to. Maybe he underestimated your last encounter’s effect on you.

The silence speaks for itself. It’s louder than any conversation you’ve had before. What now? What have we become? Is it of any use to try anymore? Neither of you had an answer to the question that began to surface with this interaction.

The questions remain hung in the air, dimming the atmosphere around you. Was this fate’s doing? Or his karma? Gojo has always been told he’s a god, but how could he be a higher form of life when he struggled so much to hold a conversation?

He’s about to speak again when you cut him off, muttering “here-” as you push your hand down the coat you wore. Your tongue pokes at the inside of your cheek as you search for the anonymous object.

You pull out a worn out paper, grown from what could have been a bright red to an orangish shade. His eyes study as you shove the paper in his  direction, eyes avoiding his gaze at all costs.

Seeing your bashful expression made him rather curious, the contents of the wrinkled paper piquing his interest. He hesitates before he pulls the paper from your hand, half-expecting you to bite him.

The letters were scribbles, almost like they’re straight out of some cult’s ritual,  that with the wrinkles of the worn out paper making reading it next to impossible. Still, he could make out just enough to realize what this paper is. His eyes widened behind the blindfold. It didn’t take much to remember this paper, trivial as it may be.

“You found this- how did you even…?” he trails off, confused.

“I guess I did,” You confirm. He’s unsure if you’re proud of yourself for your rather… interesting discovery. It’s bold of you to pull this out ten whole years later. But he can’t deny the relief he feels that at least this means you don’t completely hate him. For once, he’s truly at loss for words. 

But he wouldn’t let a perfect opportunity like this slide.

“Oh, so you’re in love with me? You’re so obsessed with me that you kept this for so many years, what a loyal fangirl.”

Before he knew it, a weight so crushing landed on his foot. He turned off his infinity around you as a sign of trust. But he soon came to regret his rather unsmart decision. Your foot stomped and crushed his toes. It makes him groan in pain, bending slightly forward.

“Tomorrow, at Narisawa in Minato city, 5:30. I’m leaving for Kyoto in 3 days. Don’t waste your chance again, Gojo Satoru. You’re not getting another one.”

“I take it you’ve been in love with me ever since?” He leans forward, elbows on the table. “Say, did you fascinate about me?”

“Hmm..” you hum softly at his childish question, “only a little.” You show no signs of interest in his tactics as you sipped the wine in your hand. Undeniably, Gojo is taken aback by your lack of reaction. He hasn’t known you to be so reserved and smart at keeping him on edge. He couldn’t help finding your new behavior enticing.

Is there anything else you’d like to have?” You nodded your head towards the plates sitting on the table, some empty and some half-full. “Or do you wanna do something else before I go back to the hotel?”

“Hmm? Maybe I could join you at the hotel, actually. Surely it’ll be a lot less lonely with me around?”

You’re tempted by his offer, feeling the heat pooling in your stomach. He looked strikingly handsome today. Maybe you were just really lonely and touch starved, or maybe it’s the way his lips quirk as he teases you that makes your brain a little hazy, inappropriate thoughts floating through it and send jolts to your core. Yet, you set your mind on refusing his advances. You haven’t had a decent conversation since high school, for god's sake.

He keeps his eyes set on you, shining before him. You looked glamorous. He’d lie if he said there wasn’t a certain allure to  your matured looks. The years that flew by changed a lot of things about you two, but his breath still catches in his throat when your eyes meet his dreamy blues. The feelings rush back, memories clouding his train of thought. 

He’s sure he’s going to pay. He didn’t mind it at all, what a small price for getting to spend an evening with you. But you surprise him when you bring up that you had already put your card down, courtesy of having been the one to ask him out. Or maybe this was your way of telling him that you are in pretty good condition, living perfectly well without needing sorcery.

“How’s working as a jujutsu teacher?” you quip, smiling softly. “Utahime says you’ve got some interesting kids in your pack? Two special grades, too. You’re sure a favorite attraction for wonders.”

“You’re still in contact with her too?” he dodges talking about his students, not meeting your gaze. “That’s ironic. Weren’t we friends too?”

A hoarse chuckle emerges from him. But nothing about it leads back to amusement, as it was a joyless sound devoid of life. Almost as if he were mocking you. The dark lenses of the shades sitting on the bridge of his nose served as a shield. He curses himself for being so weak. He's almost thirty but somehow you’ve got him acting like he did when he was 17. 

“You didn’t try to contact me either,” you shrug, not willing to take the blame for your lack of contact. 

“You could have visited then. Even Yaga talked about you every once in a while,” he isn’t too happy and it’s showing.

“All good things, I hope-“

“Don’t change the subject,” he frowns, an uneasy edge outlining his words. “He was enough. You didn’t have to go ahead and leave too.”

“I had to move on, Gojo,” the name felt like a jab every time you used it. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything about it. This is how you drew your boundaries. Calling them by their last names gives you a false sense of satisfaction, convincing yourself that your sorcerer friends are past figures now. Mere acquaintances. 

“-I couldn’t remain hung there forever, I valued my mental health. You grew distant, the atmosphere was growing uneasy every day. I had to cut ties with Jujutsu before I couldn’t recognize myself anymore.”

“Yet you’re here now. Back to square one,” his playful tone was long gone, now replaced by an even, stern one. “Whether you moved away or called us by our last names. It’s a curse you can’t escape. you’ll always end up back in the palms or jujutsu.”

His words held some truth. You know that. But just as he refused to confront this past, you repulsed the idea of your reality. You truly want to believe that you could escape this part of yourself and live a normal life. You couldn’t come to terms with your inability. You held onto your hopes as if your sanity completely depended on it. Another thing that won’t change no matter how much you grew.

“I'll be okay as long as I refuse to interact with this world.”

Once you leave the restaurant, you find yourself wandering through the rich streets of Minato city. It felt as though the night was pulling you further into its welcoming embrace, with nothing rushing you.

“He was only thirteen,” you chuckle, arm linked in his. “It’s unbelievable how bold kids nowadays are.”

“I would’ve done the same thing, honestly,” he smirks, his gaze fixed on the stores around.

“Of course. You’ve got the brains of a thirteen year old.”

Satoru grins at your remark, pulling you into a clothes store. 

“What’s this?” you look around in confusion, noting a woman in a suit welcoming you. The place looked a little too fancy, judging by the display of the items and the lighting of the place.

“It’s a western brand,” Satoru answers. Looking over at him, you can’t help but smile a little. He looks good tonight. His fancy outfit gave the impression that he’s a model to strangers. “Louis Vuitton, I think,” He furrows his brows, trying to remember the name of the brand stores he’s been to with Nobara and Shoko.

“Prada, sir,” The lady in a suit corrected him. “Can I help you?”

“We’re just browsing, thank you.” It’s a phrase he heard from Kugisaki countless times whenever they wandered into a store. His response makes you chuckle, watching as the lady takes a few steps backwards politely.

You’re soon comfortable, searching through the expensive coats and bags. Satoru watched tenderly. Even though the ten years that passed with no contact whatsoever definitely propose a wall between you, he's glad you're able to feel free. You might nit on the same page, but you two can work with what you have.

You stride back to the “S” shaped velvet couch sat in the middle of the checker-carpet store, where Satoru sat. But he was nowhere to be seen.

You walk around in hesitance and confusion, completely aware of the lady walking always a few feet behind you. Surveillance, you guess.

You find him standing in front of the white counter, taking a black bag with the brand’s name printed onto it in golden letters from the man standing behind the counter in a white shirt with the brand's logo on it.

“Gojo,” you call him, confusion fused into your expression.

He extends his arm to you, trying to suppress any sourness at you calling him Gojo. “Let’s go?”

You nod, eyeing him suspiciously before you link your arm in his. You make sure to flash a grateful smile at the woman by the door as you walk past the reflective glass door.

You almost forgot how busy the world outside is. It felt as though the glass building of the store was sound proof. Now you have to adjust to the noise of the full streets again.

Satoru remains silent for the most part. It’s not awkward, rather just neither of you knew what to say. He expected you to ask about what he bought, which you have considered. You decide against it though as you feel it’s none of your business. You’re not too surprised anyway as Gojo has always been a wealthy man. He could buy the entire Prada chain with half of his monthly spending.

“What do you wanna do now?” He asks. “Wanna go somewhere else?”

You think about going to the club to give the night the best closure. But neither of you were dressed for it anyway. You contemplate your choices. Then you grin at him, and Satoru knows it’s best to fear what comes after

You’re well aware that he has a high alcohol tolerance. While you would be wasted a few shots in. Yet you consumed so many drinks recklessly, thinking that maybe you could beat him in a drinking game.

That’s why he’s stuck to your side now, helping your sleeping body out of his car. Satoru is glad your hotel card was so easy to find in your purse, taking it out as he gets into the lobby.

A few people eye the man, glaring at him and at the way he held you in his arms. But he couldn’t bring himself to think too much about it. His mission is to get you to bed now.

“Satoruuu~” You whine, rubbing your face into the pillow once he sat you on the white bedding. “Stay with meeee”

And Satoru is nothing if not human. Despite what everyone else says. It’s proven now that he had come to face a human flaw like this. He is weak, and you are all but practically seducing him.

“Stop crying,” He mutters. He finds himself smiling sheepishly at the unlikely scenario he found himself in. Tucking you in bed, your face hot due to the drinks you had. He really should have stopped you. “I’ll stay the night, so sleep already.”

He convinced himself it’s for the best. He should watch over you for tonight. No funny business. Deep inside he knew he was just finding a reason— any reason to stay around you for a little longer, heart yearning for the lost years. But he ignored the pathetic feeling, convincing himself it’s for your sake instead.

“But I’m uncomfortableee,” you whine again, hands running down your body. “The dress...”

Did you have to make it so hard on him? Satoru is tempted to kiss you, eyebrows knitted in the space between, eyes looking around the room for any sort of aid.

This is probably a form of invading your privacy, but he sees no other choice. He’ll have to hold it together for tonight.

“nngh..”

Your groan came with an impending headache. Your body moves against the rich covers of the bed, sunlight illuminating your physique.

He stopped in his tracks, feet bare against the gray carpet.

Your form is beautiful, one to compete with statues of goddesses. The rays of light complimented every inch of skin in all the right ways. Satoru had to physically shake his head to stop the flowing perverted thoughts in his head.

Your flinch when you catch him standing near the door, heart beating slightly faster. You thought that you’re alone. You don’t think much of it anyway, muttering a “holy shit” under your breath.

“Good morning,” he casually greets, brushing off the mutual shock, albeit for different reasons. “I made coffee, if you wanted some.”

“Oh... thank you,” you mutter, rubbing your eyes as you sit up straight. “Did you eat anything yet?”

“Not yet, no,”  he says, holding his overly sweet coffee in both palms. “Thought I’d wait until you woke up.”

“You’re a real sweetheart, Satoru,” you yawn. His name slipped past your lips before you could stop it. You busy yourself with stretching your arms. “What a doting housewife God has blessed me with”

His response is only a chuckle, rolling his eyes as he sighs on the edge of the bed. “Well, at least I wasn’t begging a man to spend the night with me”

“Huh?”

You couldn’t remember anything of the prior night. Nothing that occurred after you sat at the bar, specifically. But then you begin to realize, eyes widening at the revelation. You feel dreadfulness landing in the pit of your stomach a little too late. 

He’s shirtless, wearing only his suit pants. And even though you wouldn’t mind the sight any other day, the fact that you are in your pajamas isn’t helping at all.

“Did we...” You trail off, expression darkening. Your eyes meet his own, fear implanted in your pupils. You watch as his expression drifts from confusion to an awkward hesitance. Unsure how to break the news to you.

You don’t know what to expect, not realizing you’re holding your breath. 

“I-I’m sorry,” He sighs, gaze faltering as his eyes look away from you. Your eyes widen further, oxygen becoming hard to consume.

What have you done?

“But- don’t worry. You know I’m not some asshole...” if anything, he sounded chivalrous. “I-I’ll be accountable for my mistake. When do you want to hold the wedding?”

You gasp, face feeling hot. “You piece of shit-“ You groan as your foot reaches him, forcefully pushing him off the bed. “As if!”

He breaks into a fit of laughter, the sound full of genuine delight. “I can’t believe you fell for it,” He manages between the laughter.

“Fuck you, Satoru,” you mutter, a smile of relief breaking across your face. “I can’t believe you pulled something so childish.”

“Why are you so down?” He climbed back onto the bed, reclaiming his spot on the edge. “Are you disappointed? You know it’s never too late to just as-“

“Fuck off,” Your heart is pounding as you send him another kick, less forceful this time. “Say one more word about it and I’ll make sure you don’t make it out of this room in one piece.”

He laughs, asking you to pass his coffee. You reach for his coffee from the bedside table. Your fingers lift the glass mug to your lips, sipping at the hot beverage before handing it to him.

Your face scrunches up at the horrible taste. Too much sugar. Too much milk. It’s a lot worse than you might think.

“Your coffee should be criminal,” you push the mug his way, frowning. Satoru hums in response. 

There’s no awkwardness between the two of you, and he can’t help but cherish it. He feels content, enough to sit a little closer, at least.

Enough to lean in towards you, mouth closing over yours in an ever awaited kiss, at least.

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Do think I’m your babygirl? I think the fuck not.

Pairing/au: Joel Miller x afab!reader, no outbreak

Words count: 4095

Rating: +18, NSFW, minors please don’t interact

Warnings/Tags: pov second person, smut with very little plot, angst, casual sex, no use of y/n, reader is described having breasts and vagina and wearing a dress and heels, no other description of her is given, reader’s thoughts in italics, mention of infidelity, swearing, pet names (babygirl, good boy, baby, princess), reader is bad at feelings (she has her reasons though), soft!Joel, brief mention of Sarah, a lot of kissing, fingering (f receiving), oral (m receiving), unprotected p in v (reader is on the pill but still, do better irl, please!), reverse cowgirl, balls grabbing, a little of bit of scolding during sex 😈, plot twist, neck kissing, nipples play, teasing… I think it’s all? If I realize I forgot something I'll add it right away.

A/N: First of all, if you happened to read something similar but badly written on AO3 don't worry, it's still me, no one stole anything from me and I didn't steal anything from anyone lol

I've been wanting to rewrite this for a long time and I think I'm pretty happy with how it came out this time. I really hope you like it too. As always, English is not my first language, I don't have beta and I finished writing it last night at 3am (ops, I did it again!), so please forgive me if you find any mistakes.

To anyone reading this, thank you for your time! I added a brief A/N at the end, see you there!

“Should we get out of here?” he whispers in your ear and you nod “where?”

“My house”

You give him a quick kiss on the lips agreeing “okay”.

You just met him but he’s the most handsome man to ever approach you in a bar so you don’t care.

You’ve already been the good girl, the one to introduce to someone’s parents, the one who’s always kind and modest, who never says a word too much and does everything in her power to make her man happy.

Turns out it didn’t do you any good.

You were engaged, a year ago.

You and Mark had the whole plan.

The wedding, a house with a white picket fence, a nice yard, a dog, a big family.

It was all decided, until you found out he was cheating on you with one of his coworkers.

All those “babygirl, I’m going to be late”, “babygirl, don’t wait for me for dinner, that asshole of my boss gave me a ton more paperwork to deal with”, “babygirl, tell John I’m sorry I couldn’t come to his party today but I still have a million things to do here at the office”, “I miss you, I wish I didn’t have to work so much” texts…all bullshit.

One day you came home early from a work trip and found him on the couch of the house you had rented and where you had lived together for two years with his dick stuck in his colleague’s pussy.

What a piece of shit.

You spent four years of your life with him and yet it felt like you had never really known him. You wondered how he had managed to lie so well, for so long, without even flinching.

You cried, you screamed as he made up some lame excuse to justify himself, you wondered how you had wasted all those years with someone like that. How come you hadn't noticed before how fake and manipulative he was? How come you hadn't noticed that every time you argued he tried to make you feel guilty even though he was the one who was completely in the wrong?

Oh yeah, you were in love. Blind, dazed, completely drunk with love.

Love that chews you up and spits you out.

What a huge scam.

Never again, you thought.

Mark could have gone to hell with his colleague, you were done.

You would no longer let feelings get the better of you.

Sure, men were still nice. When they were quiet and fucked you good and then went back home, no strings attached.

He says his name is Joel.

You put a finger over his mouth to silence him when he tries to add his last name. “I don’t need it,” you tell him.

“Whatever you say, beautiful,” he replies.

His voice is definitely a plus. Deep, husky, charming. It goes straight to your cunt.

Even his beard brushing your cheek as he speaks in your ear to make himself heard over the chaos of the bar isn’t bad at all.

A small talk later you decide he is the perfect one night stand.

He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans and a gray T-shirt with a plaid shirt over it.

His hand is wrapped around your waist in a delicious way, just above your hip. Big, expert hand. His brown eyes are staring at you, intense and piercing. Chocolate eyes, and you've always liked chocolate.

His plushy lips curve into a smirk when you say “let’s go cowboy, it’s time to show me what you got”

He chuckles, reaching down and squeezing your butt.

“After you, princess”

You roll your eyes at the pet name but he’s too gorgeous to back down.

He walks you to his pick up truck, in the parking lot.

He drives to a nice neighborhood, full of small houses with well-kept yards and safe streets where you imagine kids riding bikes and playing softball. The contrast between him and what’s around you makes you laugh. Joel doesn’t seem like a friendly neighbor, a candidate for trick-or-treating on Halloween, or the life of the block parties. He seems distant, a man of few words, a grouch. Which is perfect as far as you are concerned. You had stopped caring about men’s chatter.

When you were talking at the bar you noticed that his hands are calloused, rough, you were about to ask him what job he did but you decided you weren't interested.

Who cares, this guy will be out of my life after tonight.

You look at his profile in the truck, his expression when you put your hand on his thigh while he’s driving, his lips that twitch slightly, his Adam’s apple that jump in his throat, his hand that grips the steering wheel a little tighter. Really, truly, delicious.

You like him. His thick raven hair with just a few streaks of gray, his high forehead, his aquiline nose, his strong jaw. Your best friend sent you a tiktok a while ago about her favorite actor with a little song that said Girl dinner playing in the background. Watching Joel in the car you think of that. Except he isn’t just dinner but a six-course meal at a fancy restaurant.

By now your opinion of men is that they are all assholes and cheaters and the guys you met after Mark only supported that theory.

When you met someone cute your new philosophy was legs open, heart closed.

You wouldn't have opened your heart for Joel, but your legs yes, very willingly.

He parks in front of a cute little house, with a rose bush climbing up a trellis to one side and an impeccable lawn.

A small porch with a rocking chair and pots of geraniums complete the picture. “Jesus,” you think “This guy and his house have nothing to do with each other”

Joel has a worn-out, 90s rock star look in a flannel shirt and combat boots, a guy like him could have lived in a shitty loft with a mattress on the floor and wooden crates for nightstands.

“Here we are, princess” he says. He got out of the pick up and come to open the door for you.

“Quaint neighborhood,” you observe.

“See, I’m unmarried but I have a daughter” You stop him right away. “Nah, too much information.”

He has a daughter. You didn’t expect that either. And you don’t want to know, you don’t want to know a damn thing about him other than how good he fucks.

“Okay” he mutters, shrugging. He seems a little confused by all your restrictions but it is essential for you to keep your distance.

Knowing this already bothers you, you should have taken him to some motel instead of his house. He has a daughter, so he's a responsible family man? A guy who never does things like pick up a stranger in a bar? What if he hasn't gotten laid since Bush was president?

You don’t have time to waste on foreplay and cuddles, he’s not the “let’s talk first” type, is he? He doesn't seem like it but at this point you're not sure of anything anymore.

You enter his house and look around. It's a nice place, comfortable, simply furnished, there's too much brown around for your taste but it's okay.

You don't have a chance to process the photos hanging on the wall and scattered around on the tables and bookshelves before he pins you against the wall and kisses you.

It's a hungry, sloppy, passionate kiss, his lips moving over yours as if he wanted to devour you in one bite.

“Great job” you think, at least you were right about something, he is a man who doesn't waste time on ceremony.

His tongue slides warm into your mouth and it tastes like whiskey, his hands run over your body, caressing you.

First the neck, tightening slightly against your throat, then on your shoulders where he slides the straps of your dress. Then on your chest, to pull down the fabric just enough to uncover your bra. He cups one of your breast with his hand, squeezing it. He pulls down the bra and uncovers your already hard nipples. He leaves a trail of kisses and small bites on your jaw and all the way down the column of your neck, until he reaches your chest taking one of your buds into his mouth, you feel the warmth of his tongue and lips, licking greedily at it and then sucking it slowly, his beard tickling on your skin.

Fuck, this guy knows what he's doing.


You mentally apologize to him for doubting it, as you throw away your heels, kicking them to the floor.

You moan loudly as his heavy hand lifts the hem of your dress and covers your entire pussy. He presses hard on your clit and your body tenses like a violin string, you arch your back seeking more friction. He places his other hand on your hip, caging you between him and the wall. He continues to kiss you, while he dip in your slit through the now completely soggy fabric.

He grunts in your ear “so fucking great mmm pussy is dripping on my floor, isn’t she?” 
You don't even have the energy to cringe about him using pronouns for your cunt as he pulls your panties aside and dip two fingers into your slit, moving up towards your clit, rubbing it.

His eyes are settled in yours, you feel hypnotized by his gaze, so overwhelming and beautiful. It pierces you to the wall. 
His fingers stroke your clit in small circles, slowly and then faster, applying pressure every now and then. His smile widens as he watches you needily and hotly arch into his palm.

“Yeah, you like that, huh?”
You desperately clench around his thick fingers when he slides his index and middle into your hole. When he begins to slowly sink inside you you feel like you can’t hold his gaze anymore, it’s almost like he’s digging into your soul, your head crush into the crook of his neck and your arm tightens around his shoulders. 
Your brain is completely clouded with pleasure and its scent, wood and leather with a fresh clean undertone. He smells so good. It’s intoxicating.

Your dress is bunched up around your waist, just enough to allow his hands to feast on you.
His fingers keeps getting in and out of you reaching your most sensitive spot while his other hand goes back on your tit, playing with one of your nipples, twisting and gently pulling it between his fingers. 
You can no longer hold back your whines, they mix with his hoarse grunts, filling the air in the room.
“Fuck, it feels so good” you wail and he grumbles “yeah…such a nice cunt, fuck, so tight” 
He pumps even harder into you, scissoring a bit, hitting your g-spot again and again, his thumb on your clit and you feel your peak building up from your tummy and raising hot into your chest, you’re gasping for air as he bites in the tender skin of your neck and lowers his mouth back on your nipple. 
“mmm I would never stop sucking your tits, God, they are so - fuck” His voice dies in his throat as you clench hard around his fingers whining “don’t stop please don’t stop oh fuck sogoodsogoodsogoodsogood”, you sound almost like you’re on the verge of crying. 
He gently urges you “let go, gorgeous, give it to me, drench my fucking fingers” 
And you come, as much as you hate being told what to do he’s having the best of you. It’s basically the only moment in which you give yourself the chance to get lost, when your climax starts shuttering all over your body, wave after wave, washing away your control over yourself. 
He holds you down as your body shakes uncontrollably.

His mouth leaves small kisses on your sweaty skin, cradling you through your orgasm along with his hands that gently cup your ass, squeezing it. You moan against his neck, clinging to his flannel shirt.

His fingers slide out of you and he brings them to your mouth, he runs them over your lower lip, wetting it with your pleasure and then gliding them over your tongue to his knuckles, you lick them greedily under his satisfied gaze.

You stay hugged against the wall for a while, not saying anything, just breathing on each other's skin.

“Are you okay?” he asks softly when he feels your breathing return to normal. “I’ve never felt better.” You answer, finally looking into his eyes again and running a hand through his hair, ruffling it.

He's cute, too cute, his eyes look at you sweetly and he caresses your cheek, brushing his thumb on your skin.

This is no good, this is no good at all, you think.

You have to do something before you make the terrible mistake of melting like ice cream in the sun for this man. You can't afford that. So you take matters into your own hands.

You push him against the wall in turn and his wide eyes tell you he wasn't expecting it.

You give him a smile as you lower your hand to his pants, feeling him hard under your touch. He’s big. Much bigger than you expected even though you just got a preview of him pressing against your thigh as he finger-fucked you.

Your hands quickly fumble with his jeans, unbuttoning them. You make room in his underwear to reach his cock. Joel grumbles “oh fuck, yes”

“Take off your clothes” you order. Joel undresses in a second, throwing his clothes and boots on the floor. You lick your lips at the sight of his bulging boxers. You move back against him, massaging him from above the fabric, feeling a large stain spreading across the front. He’s dripping profusely, which makes you even more hungry and eager to try him.

You smile at him as you lower yourself to your knees, bringing his boxers down with you.

His cock springs free right before your eyes, hard, uncut, and impossibly perfect. Your hand slides over the line of hair leading to his crotch, slightly beaded with sweat, and wraps around his base. He doesn’t stop staring at you, enraptured.

Your hand moves up and down his length, lingering at the tip, collecting his precum and spreading it out.

You feel your saliva building up in your mouth and as much as it annoys you to admit it your clit twitch, you can’t wait to taste it. Your mind is fighting against this guy, but your body knows exactly what it wants and doesn’t care if it gets carried away.

You place your tongue on the tip, swirling it around and then sliding it flat down his shaft, over his throbbing, engorged vein, down to where your hand encircles him.

You hear him grunt and your mouth twists involuntarily into a smirk.

His musky flavor coats your tongue as you continue to work his length, you look up and there he is, hair tousled, eyebrows furrowed, mouth agape, eyes like ebony that sparkle with lust, beautiful as a painting. He almost hurts your eyes. You squeeze them shut, concentrating only on the heat in your mouth and your movements on his red and swollen tip.

You slurp greedily increasing the pace as you feel him throbbing more and more intensely.

You are enjoying the silence filled only by the sound of your obscene lapping and his hoarse moans when he decides to speak.

“Fuck, babygirl, you’re incredible”

Your blood runs cold, it’s like an unconditioned reflex you can’t escape. An uncontrolled anger rises from the pit of your stomach, you stop and let it out through your mouth. His face becomes confused, you take a deep breath to try to calm the fire that burns inside you and ask him sharply: “what did you call me?”

Mark's face materialized before your eyes, vivid as it hadn't been in a long time. It’s terrible.

He hesitates for a moment before saying “babygirl” in a garbled whisper.

“Don’t ever do that again” you tell him in a firm voice before moving closer to his cock and he mutters “no one has ever complained”

You stop again “It gives me the ick. So if you want me to continue I suggest you stop nagging like a child. Otherwise I can always walk out that door and let you finish with your hand”

“It’s just a pet name” he says, rolling his eyes, like it were no big deal, as if it didn't mean you were going back to where you started, to when you were too blind to realize how much of a liar your fiancé was, to when your heart was in pieces.

He can’t know, that’s true, so you haven’t completely blurted out. But that annoyance still rises in your throat. And you can’t cry, you really can’t. So sarcasm creeps in. “You think I’m a little girl? A princess who needs saving? Fucking Snow White?”

His cock is still standing between you two, waiting for attention. You might laugh at the situation, maybe make a joke about how well he holds his erection, but you're not really in the mood.

His Adam's apple moves in his throat, he gulps air before answering: “no, but…I mean, it’s just a word”

You shrug, looking at him with reproach and resignation at the same time, and try to answer with all the nonchalance you can muster. “Okay. It will mean that pornhub will take care of you, I don’t give a damn” If he can’t compromise then he’s not worth your time, just like every other man.

You start to get up and he stops you, a slight panic in his eyes “oh no, come on, don’t be like that. Ok, ok, I won’t say it again”

You lower yourself again and are about to start over in silence when it occurs to you to teasing him a little, just a little and only because he ruined the moment for you. He did it unintentionally but still. You don't mind the rough play and you think this big guy in front of you can take it.
“Let's try” you think “I can always stop”

It’s not like you’re going to hurt him badly, just teasing.

So you look him in the eyes with all the candor you can, taking one of his balls in your hand. You squeeze it and say “Are you going to be a good boy? Are you going to shut the fuck up for me?” 
“Yes” he murmurs. 
“I’m not your fucking babygirl, we clear?” 
“Yes” 
“Say it.”
“You’re not my babygirl” he whispers.
You squeeze hard on his ball, seeing his lower lip twitching with pleasure, his eyes dark with lust.
Yeah, he likes that, it’s clearly painted all over his face.
“Louder”
“You’re not my babygirl” his voice breaking in the attempt as you put your mouth on his ball sucking hard on it.
You let go with a satisfied smile “Perfect”
You take his shaft back into your mouth, squeezing the other ball gently with your hand and he leans against the wall, eyes shut and whimpering.
It’s so good to hear him like that, your clit is throbbing between your leg and your arousal is dripping all over your inner thighs.
You stop when you feel him on the edge, another few licks on his red and angry tip would be enough to send him over but you’re craving him into your cunt. And also, you like seeing him all pent up and needy for you.

He’s basically babbling at this point, begging you and swearing, eyes desperate for a release, all his body tense and covered in a light layer of sweat.

He’s totally gorgeous and you’re not done yet.

“Don’t cry baby, I will give you what you want” you coo, your lips curved into a smirk.

You get up and take his hand, guiding him on the couch in his living room.

It’s a nice brown leather couch, there is a little hollow in one of the pillows and you imagine that is where he usually sits to watch tv. This is also unnecessary information that makes him much more human and cute than you would like.

You can see him on Sundays, sprawled out there, his feet up on the coffee table placed in front, a beer in his hand, watching football.

No, that’s too much.

You sit him down in the center, caressing his cheek. You pinch one of his nipples and he lets out a groan. You take off the dress that at this point is practically dangling uselessly from your waist, your now soaked panties and your bra which he took care of pulling down earlier making it useless as well.

You’re finally completely naked before his eyes.

You throw everything aside on the floor, feeling incredibly vulnerable but trying not to show it.

Joel is silent but you can see his eyes feasting on your body, lusting over every curve before settling on your pussy that glistens with your juices.

You move closer and lean him against the back of the couch and sit on him, holding his cock with one hand and gently pushing it into your hole. You are incredibly wet but you proceed with caution anyway, he is too big to take in one thrust.

He pants beneath you, lacing his hands on your hips and guiding you gently. You can't see his eyes anymore, which is good for you, he's already made you feel exposed enough. It’s better this way, you can take what you want from his body without letting him affect you too much.

When you are fully seated on him you start to move, bouncing on his thighs, swinging your hips, he tries to keep up with your pace, thrusting into you as deep as he can, sinking into your wetness.

One of his hands moves to one of your breasts, cupping it and squeezing it, brushing your nipple with his palm and then taking it between his fingers.

You lean forward slightly to let him reach that soft spot inside you that always makes you see stars. Your ears are filled with his moans, the sound you like to hear when a man fucks you.

Nothing more than his natural, delirious, desire-filled sounds.

You throw your head on his shoulder and he kisses you, you cry into his mouth as you feel his hand move from your breast to your clit and begin to rub it furiously.

His tongue is warm and delicious in your mouth, a small trickle of saliva runs down your chin as you try to chase it and dance with it.

He's at his peak now, you feel him pulsing hard inside you, his moans muffled on your lips.

“Come inside, I’m on the pill” you only manage to whisper.

His pubic hair tickles your ass as he slams into you repeatedly, until you feel long, hot streaks of his cum painting your walls.

You continue to rock on his hips, lacing one hand around his neck, kissing him, until everything gets confusing, blurry, overwhelming in a way you can't explain. You reach him in a state of bliss, sweaty and exhausted but never as satisfied as you are now.

You pull his cock out of you and sit on the couch, he is on your neck in an instant, leaving a trail of small hungry kisses as you both try to catch your breath. You close your eyes so as not to see his, probably softened and vulnerable, nothing more wrong than letting yourself be taken by the tenderness after sex.

After a while he gets up and disappears into the kitchen without saying anything. He returns with a glass of water and hands it to you. “Thank you,” you say, before quickly swallowing it to ease the dryness in your throat. You set it on the coffee table and stand up before he tries to say something stupid.

You gather your clothes, getting dressed as he watches you from the couch, you feel his eyes on you the whole time.

You lean in to give him a kiss and his hand on your hip feels like a silent request to stay.

You don't say anything, there's no need to say anything.

You walk out the door without looking back.

You're not a babygirl.

A/N: I personally don't mind being called "babygirl" and Joel could call me anything, really. LOL I just wanted to try something different, hope you all liked it. Thanks again for reading, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated ❤️

[lcvesjj]

Bad Omens - Deacon Kay x Fem!Reader

Based on the song “Bad Omens” by 5SOS

This is part of my ‘song fics’ series :)

Summary : You'd always come in second place to Annie. Maybe you were right. This relationship was a mistake and you should've listened to the warnings. Since he'll always love somebody else..

Warnings : angst, angst, angst & once again angst. no happy ending, breakups, (Deacon gets back w Annie), in this fic Annie & Deacon don't have kids !!!, heart break, talks/mentions of cheating?

NOT BETA READ!

A/n : the fanfic writer curse has really been kicking my ass recently :’) so I wasn’t posting any fics for a while bc of it. But anyways enjoy and as always this is just based on my interpretation of the song/lyrics :) (yes I am incapable of writing a happy ending currently🥲) I might rewrite this someday since I'm not 100% happy with how this has turned out.

word count : 672

song fic masterlist

regular masterlist

Honestly you should've seen it coming. You always knew you'd come second place to Annie. Deacon's high school sweetheart and “one true love”

Deacon always talked about her a lot since they were still good “friends” Even his coworkers would talk about her a lot. You knew you could never compare to Annie, since she was prettier and smarter and just- more Deacon’s type….

You tried your best to get along with Deacon’s friends, since you loved him so much and you wanted this relationship to work out. 

One day you decided to visit Deacon at the SWAT HQ and bring the team some cookies. Walking towards the HQ kitchen you overheard Deacon talking about you. Pausing you stood still listening in to what was being said. 

“I mean I love Y/n but- she's just not Annie yknow? Annie was always so happy and sweet while I feel like recently Y/n has been pulling away from me. What if she's cheating on me?” Deacon said aloud. He had no idea you heard him. You could feel like crying and your heart dropped to your stomach hearing his words. The man you loved so deeply just accused you of cheating on him.

Quickly turning on your heel you rushed out of HQ still holding the plate with cookies you brought. Getting into your car you drove away towards a nearby beach to sit and think.

You always felt like you were in second place in David's life, but hearing him accuse you of cheating just made you feel even worse. Maybe agreeing to this relationship knowing how much he still liked Annie was a mistake...

Deciding to pull out your phone you sent him a quick text saying “We need to talk. It's important.” Before putting your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and driving home. 

Deacon was already waiting at home for you with a worried look on his face and upon seeing you he started asking a million questions as to where you were. 

“I think we should break up.”

You interrupted him, Deacon's face fell and he looked hurt and confused. “But I thought-” You just shook your head no. “This isn't working. I'll never be first place for you. It'll always be Annie since she's your first and only true love. I overheard what you said at the station and I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep on feeling like I'm less important to you.” You said while wiping away a few tears. 

“Y/n sweetheart….that's not true. I love you and you're my number one girl. Annie is just a friend to me. I've known her for so long it wouldn't make sense for me to just cut her off suddenly.” Deacon said while frowning. 

“I'm done. I'm sorry Deac, I'll go pack my things now. I'll come grab the rest of my stuff tomorrow.” You said while heading further into the house and towards your shared bedroom before grabbing a bag and packing some essentials while Deacon just watched with pure heartbreak and anguish written all over his face. “But we can still be friends right?” He asked nervously to which you shook your head. 

“I think it's for the best if for now we don't contact or see each other for some time.” You replied while zipping up your bag. “I'm sorry David.” You said softly while kissing his cheek one last time before heading out of the door. 

It wasn't fair to either you or Deacon. You knew he always loved Annie more. I mean she's perfect…

-

A few weeks later Deacon and Annie started to date again and seeing their new photos on the social media platforms you were still following Deacon on, you felt like crying. You always knew it would probably end up like this. You'd get your heart broken and Deacon would end up with Annie. But at least you broke the cycle of constantly getting your heart broken every time Deacon sang praises about Annie right…?

[mwahsturns]

First choice // Matt Sturniolo Pt 1

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

Contains: cussing, fluff, flirting, talk of death, Semi-proof read! I think that’s it let me know if there’s more! Also if there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please ignore them 😭🙏🏻

Synopsis: Y/n works at a record store and one day while she’s working two very cute guys walk into the store but one especially catches her eye and later so happens they end up having more then just there music taste in common ;)

Word Count:1,890

Author’s notes: Hii bbys !! <3, So I’ve never written a fic before or posted on tumblr, So I’m sorry if this is bad I’m new at this please go easy on me😭🙏🏻. If you guys have any suggestions, tips or advice please message me I hope you enjoy my new series!!, this took me a very long time to come up with so I hope you love it💗.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

The sound of music always brought me peace, I work at a record shop because I love being around vinyls and just anything music related really. I also really enjoy reading It's always brought me a sense of comfort as well as writing and poetry. Honestly it makes me really happy, and ever since I was a kid I've always written songs and maybe sang a little bit but that’s a secret. I don't know what it is but I always feel like it helps me forget about everything that’s wrong in my life, my parents died when I was 16 so it’s always been just me and my two little brothers. I love them more than anything and I'd do anything for them. Today was just a regular day at work I was putting vinyls on the racks that they go on when two guys walk into the store, I look over and give them a soft smile.

‘hii welcome let me know if you need any help finding any artist or vinyl specifically’ they smile at me and nod as one of the boys catches my eye, I’m a very shy person so I decided not to say anything unless I needed to. After a couple minutes I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around and saw the guy who caught my eye standing in front of me. ‘hi um i wanted to ask you something’ he seemed very nervous but also very confident weird mix. ‘yes of course how can i help you’ I smiled softly at him hoping to make him more comfortable, ‘do you happen to have “circles” by Mac miller’ he says as he does a side smile. I smile at him as I think about how I also enjoy mac miller.

‘yea over here!’ i walk over and pull it off the rack, ‘this is one of my favorites’ i say chuckling, ‘i really like this one’ he says turning the vinyl around. ‘what other artists do you like?’ ‘i really like d4vd and um frank ocean oh! Omg Dominic Fike omg Tyler the creator?! is so amazing and oh my god i'm rambling im so sorry’ I blushed getting a little nervous, ‘nah you're good’ he smiles as I look up at him and smile softly. We stand there until the guy he came with comes up to him ‘woah you guys twins or am I dumb?’ ‘nahh triplets’ he says laughing ’oh cool” i say and start checking them out. ‘You're the first to not ask us a million and one questions about being triplets’ he chuckles, ‘yea nah y'all will tell me over time’ I smirk i say with my boston accent coming through a little.

‘oh so you plan on getting to know us’ he smirks a little ‘oh totally y’all look cool’ I laugh, ‘you're from boston?’ The other guy says noticing my backpack in the back with the Boston logo. ‘yes i am’ i laugh ‘us too!’ ‘What's your name?’ The guy who got my eye says ‘I’m y/n’ ‘cool im matt and hes chris’ ahh Matt hot guy hot name. ‘cool!’ I hand them the bag and me and Matt make eye contact, ‘have a good day’ ‘thanks you too’ matt says smiling at me. They walk out and i really hope i see them again.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

  I finally got to clock out of work It was so tiring and I needed to make sure my little brothers were ok. I get to my car and get settled in and connect my phone to the aux and play “Ivy” by Frank Ocean. I’m so glad to be going home I think as I started driving I decided that I was gonna pick up a pizza for my little brothers because I got paid today and I know how much they love pizza. We aren't broke completely but we definitely struggle sometimes recently things have been rough but I finally got a promotion so it's getting a little easier I got the pizza and started heading home I got home and when i opened the door and my brothers cody and alex run up to me and ‘sissyyyy we missed you’ alex says hugging me, ‘aww i miss you too bud’ ‘sissy you bought pizza!’ Cody says looking like his eyes are gonna pop out of his head. 

 

i walk over to alexa who’s been my best friend for years, she helps me with my brothers and just around the house ‘thank you so much lex’ i say hugging her ‘Of course love that's what best friends are for’ she says smiling softly ‘wanna spend the night and when i put them to bed we can talk?’ ‘yeah okay sure’ Alexa smiles at me while i feed the boys.

I start to give the boys a shower and as i’m showering cody he looks up at me with the biggest smile on his face. ‘sissy I wanna be just like you when i grow up.’ He says playing with the bubbles, ‘aww little c i love you a lot bub and i know one day you’ll be even better than me’ i say tearing up, cody has always been more clingy to me than Alex is but not as much, cody doesn’t like to leave my side and he is the sweetest kid ever. Him saying he wants to be like me does hurt a little because I've been through a lot of shit but the fact that I look strong in his eyes makes up for it all. I put them to bed and Me Alexa got some wine and took a seat on the couch.

‘So how was your day?’ She says sitting next to me. ‘it was good omg lex these two really cute brothers came into the shop and oh my god girl’ I say blushing thinking of Matt ‘speaking of cute brothers you know the guy i was talking to?’ ‘yes why?’ ‘this is him and his brother I’d think you like him’ she turns her phone and pulls out a picture.

‘hold up hold up let me see that?!’ i say taking the phone from her ‘omg thats the cute guys that came in today’ ‘Omg?! yeah i've been talking to chris for a minute now’ ‘matt’s pretty attractive just sayin’ I couldn’t help myself but blush i don’t know what’s wrong with me fuck Y/N get it together. ‘oooo y/n has a crush?’ ‘oh shut the fuck up’ ‘oh come on you haven’t had a boyfriend since your parents died’ she says starting to get serious, ‘i know but my brothers mean the world to me lex i need to make sure there ok i don’t have the time’ I would love to give Matt a chance but i don’t know.

‘your brothers would want you to be happy y/n/n’ she says rubbing my knee, ‘I know but it's not about me being happy i need to make sure there happy i have to be a mother figure to them they need me’ ‘i get that babes but you need to remember you lost them too your only 20 rasing two kids you need to be a kid too especially since you were forced to grow up so quick’ i look at her and nod I mean I understand where she’s coming from but my brothers are all I know. ‘i love you y/n i'm just looking out for you ima head to bed goodnight love’ ‘night babes’ as she walks off and goes to into the guest room i kinda sit there think about what she said and i mean she's right but i can’t risk something happening to my brothers.  I head upstairs and head to bed because i have another day of work but holy fuck thank god it's friday. 

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

I woke up the next morning only because my alarm for work went off and i see it’s 9:44 so i know Alexa is getting my brothers ready for school I get out of the bed and i started to get ready for work. I finished getting ready for work when my younger brother Cody came into the room with tears in his eyes. ‘sis…’ he says in a sad tone I turned around quickly and scooped him into my arms ‘aww what's wrong love?’ i say concerned.

‘i don’t wanna go to school i wanna stay home with you can you please skip work..’ he says in a whiny tone, ‘Aww bub i wish i could help but you know the rules’ When i got custody of cody and alex the court gave me really strict rules to follow, i had to make sure they were always at school, they weren’t falling and that i kept a stable job and make enough money or else they would take them away. ‘I know but i hate being at school kids are mean to me and alex’ i look at him feeling bad but i don’t wanna risk losing them. ‘I’m sorry bub if i could keep you and alex with me 24/7 forever i would’ i say hugging him tightly.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

i got to work over an hour ago and to say its boring is an understatement. Just as i think that i hear the bell ring meaning someone walked into the store, i look up ready to greet them and i realize its matt. ‘Matt? Hey’ i say smiling. ‘Hey um i know this might be weird but i um.. Well so my brother chris the one that was with me last time uh i found out that the girl hes been talking to happens to be your best friend right?’ ‘yeah shes my best friend’ ‘well um she kinda encouraged me to come back..’ ‘what do you mean?’ ‘well i uh wanted to see if you were willing to go out with me… you don’t have to its o-‘ he starts to say but i cut him off. ‘Sure why not’ i say smiling i don’t know what happened but he was too sweet for me to say no to.

‘Wait really?’ ‘yea i mean i can’t deny you are pretty cute..’ ‘well thank you’ he laughs damn something about the way he laughs i dont know but it feels almost addicting to listen to. ‘Uh are you free saturday?’ ‘yeah i am’ i smile ‘sweet! Ill text you’ ‘okay bye matt’ ‘bye” he blushed a little bit as he left the shop. Shit who’s gonna watch cody and alex?!                                                                   

Author’s notes:heyyy I’m back! So I hope you enjoyed the first part of this series and I’m sorry if there was any typos, spelling mistakes, etc I’ll try to fix the ones I can if I miss anything please let me know but I hope you enjoy and have a great day 💋

[just-your-casual-nerd]

Can you possibly do a gwendoline/ or one of her characters comforting you after getting out of surgery please?

I just had surgery for the first time yesterday and I was stuck all alone and my nurse wasn’t really the nicest 😅 I just need some comfort in my life 😅❤️

I don’t normally do this kind of thing, then again, I've never had anyone ask me to write before. So, I'm going to give this a try and hope it turns out ok. Also, this was not beta read, so I’m sorry for all the spelling mistakes you'll probably find. I have chosen to write about Larissa x reader, I hope you like Anon! 

Warnings: Sickness, hospitals, lots of love from Larissa ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're Not Alone  

When you woke up Tuesday morning you knew something was wrong. Your whole body felt like it was on fire, you were nauseous and lightheaded, and it felt like someone had stabbed you in your abdomen.  

It took all of your strength to just sit up on your pillows and look at your clock. Four thirty am shown brightly at you in bright red, causing you to turn your head away as a migraine started to form.  

Slowly, you turned your body towards the other side of your bed, facing the wall. Closing your eyes, you tiredly grabbed at your blankets around you and brought them up to your chin, shielding you from the world around you. Slowly you fall into a restless sleep as the world went dark around you.  

Sometime later you awoke to a banging on door and someone calling out your name. You tried to say something, but with every move you made it felt like you were going to die. The pain had increased ten-fold as though you were getting stabbed by a million tiny needles at once. 

Your throat was dry, and you could only let out a pained moan. Everything was blurry around you, and the last thing you heard was the door opening, your name being yelled, and a tall figure running towards you as your vision went black.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You could hear this annoying beeping sound on the right side of your head. The bed you were in felt uncomfortable, the blankets were itchy, and something was weighing your left hand down, holding it in a tight grip.  

You weren't in your room; you could tell that right away. But where were you? The last thing you remember was terrible pain and someone yelling your name.  

Before you opened your eyes you tried to listen to the world around you. Besides the annoying beeping you could hear distant noises, people talking, and alarms going off. The air around you smelt like disinfectant, bleach and someone’s sweet perfume.  

Were you in a hospital? 

You could hear someone on the left side of you, and every so often a sound like a page being moved could be heard.  

Who could that be? 

You slowly turned your head to whoever was holding your hand and you slowly opened your eyes. What you saw next made your whole world stand still.  

Your principal, the allusive Larissa Weems sat next to you in what looked like a horribly uncomfortable white chair. Her hair was in her usual up do, her makeup perfect, yet you could see slight exhaustion written on her face as though she hadn't slept properly in days.  

All you could do was stare at her as she read whatever book was in her hand. Her face held a slight frown as though it was taking everything in her to read the words on the pages in front of her.  

It felt like hours as you watched her, memorizing every detail on her face, though it was probably only a few seconds until she noticed you.  

As her eyes met yours you saw the relief flood through them, and a slow smile grace her face. She sat up straighter, with her empty hand, she set her book on the floor and slowly leaned towards you. Now grasping your hand with both of hers, giving it a little kiss.  

“Y/n...you had me so worried darling. Are you ok?” 

You opened your mouth and tried to answer her, but all that escaped your mouth was cough. Your throat felt like sandpaper.  

Her eyes widened a little and her hands left yours as she moved to grab a glass of water for you. Once she had a cup of water in her hand, she brought it up to your mouth and you took a sip, feeling better now that your throat wasn’t as dry.  

Satisfied that you had drank enough water, she put the cup down on the table near your bed and grasped your hands in hers again.  

“wha...what happened? Where am I?”  

Larissa's face turned back to a frown at your questions.  

 “Darling, you're in the hospital. Your appendix burst, you had to go into surgery so they could remove what was left of it. But you're ok now, honey. They were able to remove it and said you will make a full recovery.”  

You were in shock. Your appendix burst? How? When? Is that why you were in pain? All these questions and more flooded your brain, but you settled on one to ask her.  

“How long have I been here?”  

Larissa looked away for a moment as she settled back into her chair. Facing you once more she took a breath and said, “Honey, you’ve been here four days. It was serious, but everything is ok. I'm here for you, your safe and sound.”  

Four days. You’ve been in the hospital for four days. All you could think about was the amount of homework you had piling up and all the things that you were missing out on. How were you going to take care of yourself when you got out of the hospital? What was going to happen next... 

Larissa could see the panic written across your face as your mind went ten thousand miles per minute. She could see the tears start to glisten your eyes and she knew she had to do something to calm you down. To show you that she was here for you, and you weren't going to be alone. 

She got up, and gently put her hands on your cheeks and leaned down giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead.  

Your mind went blank as you stared up at her and she smiled down at you.  

Still holding your head in her hands, she gently whispered to you; “Its ok darling. You're not alone, I'm here for you and we will get you through this together. You're not alone, love.”  

She leaned in to kiss your forehead one more time and you closed your eyes, knowing everything would be alright.  

[bythestedeside]

Dean and Cas become the proud fathers to a sweet little blonde haired baby girl named Claire.

One night they sit down to watch Disney movies bc hey why not they're parents now, might as well do some research into what movies she'll probably like when she's a little older. They put Tangled in after getting Claire to sleep and popping some popcorn and grabbing assorted other snacks, knowing it'll be a while before Claire wakes up wanting a bottle. They've barely snuggled up when the narration starts up and a beautiful little baby with just the blondest hair is on screen obviously Rapunzel. Cas just smiles wide at the screen, looking adorable, but like the biggest dope Dean has ever seen.

"What are you smiling at Cas?" Dean asks, nearly missing his mouth while sticking a piece of popcorn in his mouth while staring at his husband.

"She looks like our Claire." Cas beams at Dean.

Dean looks up at the baby on screen somehow before baby Rapunzel leaves the screen, thinking. He's seen the movie before, not as secretly as he may have thought loving Disney movies. He knows the lyrics to even the less popular songs like all the ones in Rapunzel, and no doubt will be humming I See the Light to Claire later to put her to sleep after she's fed later. By the time he responds to Cas, Rapunzel's already in the tower singing about all the things she likes to before it's even lunch.

"Yeah I guess." Dean says.

Cas pouts, and Dean looks down at him where he's half sitting in Dean's lap.

"What do you mean 'I guess'? " Cas looks at Dean waiting for Dean to finish chewing his strange combo of popcorn and M&M's. Dean starts.

"Claire's far prettier, and I'll bet she'll be even more talented than punzel over there. But if Claire wants to let her hair get that long, I'm gonna sit her and Sammy both down and give them haircuts."

Cas hums in agreement and laughs at the idea of sitting Sam down with one of those beautician capes and how large of one they'd need for Sam's moose shoulders. He suddenly gets a nefarious idea and steals some licorice from Dean's pile of snacks on the table.

"Hey! You don't even like licorice!" now's Dean's turn to pout and try to steal his licorice out Cas's hand. Cas sits eye level with Dean again and puts one end of the licorice into his mouth.

"I see what you're getting at." Dean leans in for a kiss, taking the longer end since Cas sincerely doesn't like licorice all that much.

They sit in mostly silence, eating their snacks while Rapunzel and Flynn have their adventures when Cas blurbs,

"You know Rapunzel is a type of salad green."

"Huh, that doesn't explain why she has long hair." Dean muses.

"Really Dean, they explained the whole sundrop and flower thing earlier were you not paying attention?." Cas said with a drop of sarcasm.

"I really didn't pay attention, I've seen this before but..."

Cas butt in

"You've seen this before and you don't remember the story?"

"Hey, I've slept since then. Anyway it's not like the fairytale anyways"." Dean said matter of factly.

"Oh and you know the story? What, did you do the research? Was they're a case like this before?" Cas said, amused, when Dean nodded.

"What?" What kind of monster?" Cas exclaimed a bit too loud. The baby monitor picked up Claire babbling and burbling, waking up. Time for a bottle, Dean thought, getting up to start one before she realizes she's hungry and starts to get for her fathers.

"Oh great, you woke up Rapunzel." Dean teased.

"Dean, you realize you just called our daughter salad greens,"Cas said

Dean laughed, sitting snacks on the table and heading towards the kitchen to get a bottle for Claire. Cas got up and walked after him, pausing the movie at Flynn and Rapunzel on the boat looking up at the light festival.

"At least let me feed her, I woke her up early after all." Cas continued.

"Nah, I'll do it, she likes me singing back to sleep better. I don't sing 'Believe It or Not'" Dean japed.

"It's a good song Dean, and every baby I've ever sang too has liked my singing" Cas pouted again

"I'm not saying you're singing's bad babe, I'm saying I don't understand why you sing the theme to the 80's most ridiculous show. Which is saying something, trust me. Have you seen 'The Greatest American Hero'?"

Dean asked while finishing up the bottle, turning to face Cas who tilted his head in a way that was just so Cas. He thought about it for a second, having to think about whether he'd actually seen it or it had just been implanted in his head along with the plenty of other of pop culture things he now just knew without really having seen them.

"Not actually, but from what I've gleamed of the knowledge I have it's funny" Cas stated starkly.

Dean just laughed and kissed Cas again.

"Okay, we'll watch it tomorrow, go and unpause the movie, I'll go feed Claire, the song that's next is really good I promise honey." Dean smiled and walked back down the hall with Cas.

"I wanna watch it with you." Cas whined.

"Okay, you wanna come with me? You sit the rocking chair with me and Claire." Dean asked

"Only if you sing the song that's next" Cas said teasingly wirh his big smile that never fails to make Dean melt a little.

"I love you" Dean says happily, throwing an arm around Cas, giggling to himself thinking about how this is one of those perfect nights as they go to their daughter

[heartysworld]

Quite the surprise || Daemon Targaryen x Reader

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this one I out so much time and effort! This is a request I got not long ago. I am deeply sorry if there are any mistakes, this is still not proofread!

If you wish to be in my taglist feel free to comment and you will be added!

Word count: 2k

Masterlist

It was a night of celebrations when Prince Daemon received the news that his wife, Princess Y/N had started her labour. Instead of feeling excited and happy, Daemon was full of fear and anxiety. His wife has had a very hard pregnancy ever since they conceived. You were in pain constantly and barely felt good enough to step a foot outside of your shared chambers. As their child grew inside your stomach, the suffering increased as well.

The maester couldn't do anything more than prepare a tonic that would help with the discomfort, but that did not work good enough. The only thing they could do is pray that both the mother and the child would survive the birth.

"My love." Daemon said as he entered the chambers he shared you.

There you laid, body weak, covered with a layer of sweat as your chest rose up and down heavily.

"Daemon." You whispered, a small but painful smile appearing on your lips.

"I'm here, Y/N. I won't leave you in such a moment." He said, taking a hold of your hand, pressing it to his lips laying a kiss on your palm.

"I am happy that you're here, my Prince. You and I will both meet our child at the same time." You said, voice almost gone.

"I couldn't be happier to be here, love. You're giving me the best present to ever exist to a man. You're the strongest woman I've ever encountered in my lifetime. I'm so proud of you." He said, leaning closer to you, giving you a kiss on the forehead.

"My Prince, we have to prepare the Princess for the process of her delivering the child. We will need you step out of the room, you will be called in again when we're prepared to start. It will not take long. You have my word." Maester Dowin said.

Daemon hesitated for a moment, but then proceeded to do as he was told, there was no need for additional tension in the room.

"I shall return very soon, my love. I will not leave you alone." Daemon whispered against your lips. The two of you shared a small kiss before he made his way out of the room.

King Viserys, having heard of the news of the Princess's labor, decided it would be generous to visit his brother, encourage him in such a stressful situation.

"Daemon." Viserys said as his eyes caught sight of his brother sitting on one of the chairs in front of the room his wife was in.

Worry written on his face.

"Brother." Daemon replied.

" I came to see if everything is going smoothly. How is she?" The King asked, laying a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"It is not good. She's in so much pain, more than she should be in. The maester says it is going to be a hard birth, we could only hope for the best outcome." Daemon said. Worry laced in his tone.

"Sometimes, in desperate times, the husband should make the decision. If it comes down to choose who must be saved." Viserys said.

Hearing his words, Daemon stood up from his seat, seething with anger caused by his brother's words. He knew what he was implying, the King had already done as he said once, his actions resulting in losing both his wife and child.

"You have no right to tell me who should be saved,and who shall die. I do not care if you're my brother, my King or even my God. I will not lose my wife in my desperate attempts to have a son! I am not you, Viserys, I am no weak man, I will never, not in a million years, lose my wife over a child, a child that I can give her once again someday." Daemon's voice booked through the empty hallways. Eyes glowing with savage fire, ready to end the man standing before him with a snap of his finger.

"Daemon, you have to understand, an heir is more important than a..." Viserys started once again but was interrupted by his younger brother.

Daemon's hand was tightly wrapped around Viserys' neck, stopping any air from passing down to his lungs. The older brother started struggling for air, hands grasping at his younger brother ones in desperate attempts to free himself.

"I do not want to even see you step a foot near my wife and child. Not now, not ever again. You leave my family in my own hands. Now get out of my sight." Daemon said, releasing his brother from his grasp.

"How dare you! I can have your head for treason!" Viserys started screaming.

"Get out of my bloody sight and do not ever step near my family!" Daemon's voice sounded as if it could kill anything that stood on his way.

A crazed look on his face, he was like a mad beast, ready to defend whatever was his and everything and everyone who dares to try and hurt it.

"My Prince." A voice called out for Daemon. It was Maester Dowin stood at the door of the chambers his wife was in, your painful sobs audible from the inside. "We're ready, you shall take your place by your wife's side." He added.

"Princess, you have to push!" The Maester and one of his apprentices yelled at the same time. "I can't. It's too painful, I feel so weak, there is no energy left within me." You breathed out, drops of sweat dripping down from your face.

"Y/N, Y/N look at me." Daemon said to you. "You can't give up, not now when we're so close to having what we have spoken about since the day we got married. I can't be a father without you,love. I need you, our child also needs you. You have to push, for everything we've ever wanted." Daemon added. His words felt like newly received energy for your body. You gathered everything that was left inside your weak body and pushed.

"The head is out, Princess, one more strong push and the shoulders will be out. You'll get to meet your firstborn child." The Maester said.

"I am strong." You started. "I can do it. I can birth our child. I will meet them. I will watch them grow up." You continued talking to yourself. It was working, Daemon's words from earlier and your strong will were helping bring your child to the world.

A few seconds later, a loud wail was heard, making every other noise in the room die down. Daemon's head snapped towards the Maester who held up in his hands a small wiggling babe, covered in blood and placenta. The infant wailed loudly, the sound bringing tears of joy to your face. Daemon stared silently, his hand gripping yours with all his strength, afraid that if he let go he would wake up in the same room he was in now, beside you, no trace of his firstborn child.

"It is a girl, my Prince,Princess." Maester Dowin said.

He brought the tiny girl to your sweaty and exhausted form. Your arms instantly wrapping around her small body as she wailed freely.

"She's here, Daemon. Our baby is here." You cried.

"She is, she really is here." He whispered, he couldn't think straight at this moment, he could only watch as his wife held their daughter while her loud cries filled the room.

"You're so beautiful. My little dragon storm." He whispered as his finger found its way to her small, soft cheek.

"Ah." You winced, new pain appearing in your lower abdomen.

"What is it? Are you in pain?" Daemon asked, he was immediately snapped out of his trance as he heard the sounds of your discomfort.

"It hurts, it hurts a lot Daemon. Maester, I don't think that's normal. What's happening?" You asked, panic overtaking you.

"There... There's no bleeding, nothing should hurt, Princes." The Maester said, his voice holding panic as well.

"She says she's in pain! Listen to what she's saying and do something about it! I want to get out of this room with both my wife and daughter!" Daemon yelled.

"Maester!" Called out another voice. It belonged to one of the women who assisted Maester Dowin.

"What is it, Shenor?" He asked.

"Is there a possibility...for twins, maybe?" The woman asked hesitantly, afraid to meet eyes with the angry Prince.

The second Maester Dowin heard her words he checked the birth canal wasting no more time.

"What's happening?" You asked, your voice trembling.

"There's another one, my Lady! Push, you have to push, there is another babe on the way!" The man yelled, the apprentice in the room took your daughter from your embrace, taking her away to be cleaned up while you started the process of bringing the surprise babe on this earth.

"What a surprise." You whispered under your breath before you started pushing.

"I don't think I've seen a more magnificent sight than the two of you, my little dragon storms." You heard a voice quietly say as you awoke from your slumber.

After the second babe was born and you were told that everything was okay, you fell in a much needed slumber.

"Two years ago I vowed to protect your mother with all my power, today I make the same vow in front of you, my children. My daughter and my son. " You recognized Daemon's voice.

You found him on the other side of your chambers, hovering over the cradle where your precious infants rested in.

"It seems like we will need to take not one, but two eggs from Dragonstone. Viserys will be pissed." Your hoarse voice sounded through the room, stealing Daemon's attention.

The next thing you knew,he was by your side, cradling your face.

"You're awake." He sighted. "I was so worried about your wellbeing."

"I'm here, I'm fine, we're fine, all three of us." You said with a sweet smile on your face as you brought your hand up to stroke his cheek.

"What you pulled today...it was the most amazing and most terrifying moment of my life, Y/N. I don't think I can go through another birth with you." He said, making you raise an eyebrow.

"You... can't go through another birth?" You asked , repeating his words.

He couldn't help but laugh at your question.

"What I intended to say, was that I don't think I can watch you suffer as I did today." He said, placing a kiss on your dry lips.

"For now, let's focus on the two infants we have in our hands. We have a long way to go before even considering about pregnancy." You said.

You could hear your babes cooing at the distance. The sounds making you happier then ever. The girl, you named Veneeys, and the boy Vahaerys, the first of their names. Now, you just had to watch them grow and one day become the great rules of all of Westeros.

[m00nchild-02]

Miss Mafia | jhs (m)

pairing: Hoseok x reader, Taehyung x reader (He's just a childhood friend, no love interest)

rating: 18+

word count: 15.5k sorry not sorry :)

genre: mafia au, strangers to lovers, secret agent, you are a mafia boss

summary: It's not easy to be the boss of one of the biggest mafias in South-Korea. And surely not as a woman. When a secret agent got discovered by one of your people and brought to you, you would've never dared to guess he would turn your world upside down in multiple ways.

warnings: praising, big d*ck Hoseok, oral (m receiving), hard sex, dom Hoseok, sub reader, v penetration, no protection (reader has an implant so she can't get pregnant. Make always sure you use protection guys!), also a bit of fluff at the end

music recommendations: - Lacrimosa - Mozart - Symphony no 9 - Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven - more songs on this playlist (youtube)

- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1yXNkU806Y7EZruvrbl4g9?si=76931ed2ebae4c2c (spotify)

a/n: Again back with a story! I'm sorry for any grammar errors. It is such a big one shot. I'll probably proof read it later so I'm again sorry for any grammar mistakes in this ff! Just ignore it please :')

I was originally thinking of making this a jungkook ff but I eventually ended up making it a J-Hope ff instead. I think he would do a great job as main character here ;) Give it a lot of support and

enjoy reading!

masterlist

Lacrimosa from Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Such a pleasant song to listen to with a good glass of wine. You take a sip of the dark red liquid as you softly move your head to the music playing through your boxes. This is how you liked to spend your time alone. A good glass of wine in one hand and the remote of your boxes in your other hand putting on some of your favourite classical music. Like Lacrimosa from Mozart or Beethoven's 9th symphony. All great composers with excellent music. You smiled as you felt your body relax after the long stressful day you had today. Your placed your red tinted lips on the glass for another sip of your wine you would never get to taste.

"Miss!"

You let out a deep sigh as you turned around in your chair towards the front of your desk. One of the maids walked inside and bowing at you. You gave her an unpleasant look. "Didn't I told the staff clearly not to come into my study for the rest of the day?" You asked the woman in front of you who kept looking down, probably not daring to look you in the eyes right now. Everyone knew you could be a real furry when you got angry or irritated. You can ask the last butler you had, after dropping a glass of whine on you by accident. It costed him a finger because you accidentally dropped a knife on his hand.

You softened the volume of the music before speaking again. "Tell me what's going on. It better be good if you don't wanna lose your job." You said coldly, don't sparing her a glance as you emptied the bottle into your glass. "I-It's about the issue from last week mam." She said. A bit of fear could be heard in her voice.

"Go on" You said. "They caught him miss." She said. You looked at the girl in front of you and suddenly began to laugh. The girl looked up for the first time, confusion all written over her little face. You turned towards the painting of your father on the right wall of the study and smiled, raising your glass. "See dad? The company is in great hands. I told you I would get him." You turned back towards the girl, that smile/smirk still on your face.

"Tell them to bring him to la grande salle. I'll be there in a minute." You told her. The maid bowed and then left the room closing the door on her way out. " You chuckled as you licked your lips. "Turns out this day is gonna be better than I expected..." You said, turning up the volume of the boxes and taking another sip of your glass of wine.

A few minutes later and your men walked in dragging a guy with them. His hands and feet tied together, his clothes covered in bloodstains and his hair a complete mess. You leaned forward in you chair as they dropped the man right at your feed. You were currently in your grand salle, how you like to call it, where you handled business of all kinds. From having meetings, recruiting new members till having a talk with bastards like the guy in front of you right now.

"Well, well, well... What do we have here." You said, letting out a small laugh. "Jung Hoseok, isn't it? Secret agent at the National Intelligence Service. They say you're one of the best in your profession. Sad that reputation will end today." You said, leaning back in your chair, snapping your fingers as a sign for the maids to leave the room. Leaving only you, Hoseok and two of your bodyguards. You threw the papers that were in your hand onto the table next to you, the pages falling open on some pictures of Hoseok and his meetings with the NIS.

"I must admit Mister Jung, I'm quite impressed. You have been undercover in my companies for five years. My father always knew there was a spy between us but he never had the chance to catch you." You looked away, staring into the distance as you said your next sentence. "Caught a bullet right through the head. Very tragic." You looked back at the man in front of you. He was still looking down, not saying a word or sparing you a small glance. Was he even still alive? Anyways, you still went on with your little speech. "But times change. After my father's death I took over and look! It's been less than a year and I already caught you."

Suddenly Hoseok started to laugh. You looked at him confused as he slowly tilted his head so you could look at his face for the first time today. His cheeks and upper lip were bruised and a dried stream of blood could be seen under his nose. He looked you right in the eyes. "Took you long enough to figure out it was me." He said. "But congrats. I'm happy you can finally make daddy proud." He mocked, spitting some blood on the white marble floor. His words and actions made your head boil. How dare he speak so lowly about your father. The bodyguards stood read to walk over and beat the shit out of him but you raised your hand stopping them.

You took a deep breath, trying to keep your cool. "Listen here," You said, getting off of your chair, slowly walking around the men on the ground before making a halt behind him and squatting down. You pulled out a blade out of your pocket and held it against his neck as you pulled his head backwards. He let out a painful groan making you smirk. You leaned in closer towards his ear before saying the following words, "You can say anything you want Mister Jung but know the more shit comes out of your mouth the less pleasant your stay at my villa will be before I release your soul from your body, understood?" You said, your mouth dangerously close to his ear.

The man didn't seemed intimidated as he scoffed. "Bring it on Missy. Good luck with keeping me locked here." He said.

You stood back up, a bit overwhelmed by his bold words. You walked towards his front, wanting to see his face. "You got a big mouth for a guy who just has been beaten the hell out of." You said. "Maybe I should just kill you here right now. Makes it a lot easier for the both of us." You said as one of the bodyguards handed you a gun. You loaded it and pointed it towards his head.

He looked you right in the eye as you held the trigger ready to shoot. What surprised you the most was that he was smiling. Why was he smiling? This guy made you so confused. "Not the brag princess but-"

"Don't call me that!" You yelled at him with gritted teeth.

"Ok my lady." He said teasingly. "What I wanted to say is you can't kill me." He looked quite relaxed when he said that.

You scoffed. "What are you talking about? I can kill you wherever I want, whenever I want! Just watch me."

He shook his head. "Sorry to burst that bubble of yours but you can't. You see... I've been undercover for 5 whole years. I know a lot about your company and you." He said, smirking, never looking away from your eyes. "I have been in every building, every city and every warehouse of yours."

"And what's your point?" You asked, getting annoyed of his talking. "To make it short, I have placed bombs and dynamite all over the place. If you kill me you'll never get to know the password and won't be able to deactivate them. So say good bye to your drugs, weapons and men... my lady. Bye, bye money." He said before laughing again.

"And why should I believe you?" You asked. "Busan, the warehouse at Ilgon street, number 45 (a/n: I made the street name up. For people who are wondering.). Look under the floor in the janitor's closet." He said.

You heart raised and your breathing became more rapid as you looked at one of the guards. "Go check if it's true what he's saying." You told him. This couldn't be true. If that bomb was really there then he probably said the truth and there would be more. That would also mean the end of your little mafia life and your source of income. That could never happen, not in a million years. Your family has worked so had for all this and now you're finally almost at the top, yes almost, he would barge in and ruin everything. You couldn't let that happen.

You looked at the guard as he finished the call. "They just found two boxes full of dynamite in the basement under the janitor's closet." The guard confirmed what Hoseok just said. "They say there are timers placed on them. They can only be removed by password, cutting a wire would mean the end." He said.

You brought your hand to your mouth and started to bite at your nails as you paced back and forth. "How much time do we have?" You asked. "7 days, mam." The guard answered.

7 days... You had 7 days to figure out that damn password and get rid of these bombs. But would you really be able to dismantle them on time? "Get Taehyung and put him to work." You told the guard before he disappeared to go get your hacker to fix the job. "You," You said, pointing towards the other guard. Lock Mister Jung up in the basement and make sure he doesn't escape." You said. "You can just call me Hoseok my lady. No need for the formalities." He said, giving you a wink. "Oh, shut up you. You're in no position to talk right now."

He laughed. "Right now I'm in a much better position than you would think love." The man came over to Hoseok and picked him up brutally from the ground. "Good luck with finding the password!" He said, before the doors closed, leaving you all alone in the room. You hoped Taehyung would be able to find it because you weren't in the mood of talking to that asshole again.

"Have you already found something?"

It had been 3 days since your encounter with Hoseok and him telling you about the bombs. 3 days of your hacker Taehyung trying to find a possible password to deactivate them. "I'm sorry y/n. Still nothing." Taehyung was one of the few people that could call you by your real name. You practically grew up with the boy so of course you got some kind of bound with each other.

Taehyung was typing all sorts of things on his computer while something was loading. "Whoever placed these bombs knows damn well how to use them. I can't crack into the system, nor can I track them or dismantle them without the password." He said. "Who did your father mess with?" He asked, his eyes never leaving the screen. "The secret agents agency of South-Korea." You said softly while biting on your nails again. It was a bad habit you did whenever you got stress.

Taehyung pulled at your hand so you couldn't bite on them anymore. "You should really learn how to stop doing that." He told you, looking at you for the first time after you entered the room.

You sighed. Taehyung was not successful in finding the password, the troops you sent hadn't found a single bomb yet except for the one Hoseok told you about and tracing was also out of the question. You were really losing hope. "Just keep looking." You told Taehyung before leaving him behind in his little room.

You were getting tired of all of this and decided to distract your mind a bit. And what is better then visiting your favourite casino when you are bored and stressed? So you went to your room and dressed up for a night out.

Little did you knew a surprise was waiting for you the other day...

"Mam! Mam!"

The door of your bedroom opened, a maid running inside out of breath as she stood at your bed, bowing first before waiting for your permission for her to speak again.

You groaned as you heard the woman storming in your room. Your head pounding because of the amount you drank the evening before at the casino. You slowly opened your eyes, hand on your head, holding it because of the pain. You gave the woman an angry look. "Speak" You snapped at her.

"M-Mam, T-The prisoner! He- He-"

"He what?!" You yelled, tired of the stuttering and hesitation in her speech.

She swallowed before talking again. "He escaped..." She said softly but clear enough for you to hear.

"WHAT??!!"

You made your way down the halls of your mansion while you wrapped your bathrobe around your body. While you made your way downstairs a few of your men were running upstairs but halted once they saw you. They stared at you with wide eyes while you stood there furious looking down on them. "I'll ask you once..." You said as you slowly walked down until you were face to face with the head of the guards. "What happened?"

"We were guarding him like you asked and suddenly someone of the kitchen came to bring us food. They said it was a treat for our hard work. After we ate it... We blacked out. When we woke up again the door was open and he was gone." The man said, looking down.

You clenched your teeth and slapped him right in the face. "YOU IDIOTS! How could you let him escape! I asked one thing of you and you couldn't even do that!!" You yelled at all of them. They all looked down like puppies that were being scolded at. "You're all useless!" You said as you made your way further down the stairs. They all bowed at you one by one as you made your way down.

You took a few corners before ending up in front of Taehyung's bedroom. You knocked, not waiting for an answer, and walked in. "Taehyung I need you to check the CCTV footage of last night. That fucking agent escaped." You said pacing around in Taehyung's room while the boy sat up, sleepily rubbing his eyes. "How late is it?" He asked groggily as he looked at you with puffed cheeks, bad hair and small eyes. "It's 8 am." You told him.

He sighed. "Give me a few minutes to wake up and then I'll go check ok?" You nodded. "Ok, I'll give you 15 min. Not more." You said and you walked out.

Like promised, in 15 minutes Taehyung was already sitting behind his desk returning back to the footage of yesterday evening. You saw the images of you walking out of the house, ready to go to the casino. "You can skip past that." You told him. He skipped a bit forward until you told him to stop. "Stop! right there." You said pointing at the screen. A man with a hood and a mask on walked in the shadows towards the back of the house. Taehyung checked one of the camera's at the back and you saw the men slipping in through the back door where the kitchen is. "He must be the one who drugged the food of the guards."

"They were drugged?" He asked and you nodded. "These morons thought they got food because of their hard work." You answered him. "Now go to the footage of the basement." Taehyung did as you said and showed the images of the sleeping men and the hooded man breaking the chain, letting Hoseok out. "He must have informed someone somehow where he was." Taehyung said.

You sighed. "I need that password. I can't dismantle these bombs without him. I don't like to admit it but... I need him. I need Hoseok." Taehyung turned towards you in his seat. So what are you going to do now?

You thought for a second. Indeed, what were you going to do? You knew everyone would fall for Hoseok's tricks all over again. Except for you. You would never fall for his charms, right? "I'll go after him." You then suddenly decided. Taehyung looked at you in shock. "Are you sure?" He asked. "You got men to do the dirty work for you." He stated.

You nodded. "I know but I can't trust them anymore. Those idiots already let him escape once, I can't let them do it a second time." You told him. "Check the CCTV's of the streets and every nearby city. I need to know where he is."

"Sure will." Taehyung said before going to work again.

While Taehyung worked on tracing Hoseok's location you went towards the dining room to grab some breakfast. Because of all this drama this morning you haven't even had the time to get some food into your system. Your stomach was already growling as you sat down at the filled table, set for two. Two? You may ask. Yes two. Today was the day your second hand would come back from his yearly vacation. He was one of the most trusted men into your house.

His name was Marcus and besides being your second hand he was also your dad's best friend. He has always been by his side and helped him in any way possible. After he died Marcus swore loyal to you and said he would do anything in his might to protect you. So the least you could do for him was to treat him as one of your own show him your gratitude.

While you were peacefully enjoying your meal the doors suddenly opened, revealing a man in suit. You smiled at the man immediately recognising him. "Marcus! Welcome back." You welcomed the man as he walked over towards you. He bowed at you before sitting down at the table where you were already seated. "It feels good to be back mam." He said, smiling before taking a look at the breakfast in front of him. "Well this is sure a great come back." He told you Smith amused eyes. "Please, enjoy yourself." You said. "Take whatever you want." You told him. "I'll sure will." He answered before digging in.

"So how was your trip?" You asked him. "Pretty good. Got some time to relax." He said. "How were things going here while I was gone?" He asked you.

You sighed. "It has been an entire rollercoaster. Oh Marcus," You said dramatically. "How happy I am you're back. I have so much to tell you." After you told him everything Marcus looked at you in shock. "You finally caught him?!" He asked surprised and you nodded. "Kind of, but he escaped yesterday evening while I was gone. These idiots can't do anything right around here anymore..."

"Only if I had been here to stop all this, huh?" He said teasingly and you nodded. "You know you're the best." You told him.

You ate and talked for a good hour before Marcus decided to go see his colleges and try to lessen the damage that had already been caused by Hoseok's escape. You really hoped he could do something about all this.

That evening you also went to go see Taehyung again to check on the situation. "You already found his whereabouts?" You asked the man in front of you. He turned his chair around and smiled at you. "Even better." He said licking his lips and clicking on one single button on his keyboard a whole screen popping up full of information. "I know which city he is in, which district and even in which building!" He told you, all proud of himself.

You walked over and stared at the screen with big eyes. "Really?! You are the best Tae!" You said, wrapping your arms around him in a big hug. The man laughed. "Alright, alright! You're welcome Y/n-ie" He said as you let go again.

"God, I could kiss you right now! You bring me so good news right now!" You yelled at him and he laughed. "You're welcome and about the kiss... no thanks." He said, showing off his boxy smile afterwards. "Go find me a plain ticket for the first flight tomorrow and tell Marcus he has the leadership until I'm back. This girl is going to Busan for some business..."

"Yes mam!"

And so the next day you flew all from Seoul to Busan. You took a taxi from the airport to your hotel while checking the info about Hoseok's whereabouts on your tablet. You mailed Taehyung, telling him you had a safe flight and to thank him again for his good work. He would definitely get a raise once you got back. You smiled as you closed your tablet and looked outside as you drove past the chore. "How long until we reach the hotel sir?" You asked the driver. "We're almost there miss! Just a few more minutes." He said. "Good" You answered, opening your window a bit and closing your eyes, enjoying the fresh sea air filling the car.

After a few more minutes you finally arrived at your destination. A five star hotel Taehyung booked for you. You got out of the taxi, payed the driver and walked inside the building as some staff took your bags out of the cab. You walked towards the counter and asked for your room. Of course it was the penthouse. You knew you could trust Taehyung. He always knew what you wanted. Once you got the key you went towards the elevator and went upstairs. You already felt completely drained from the trip towards where you were now.

As you arrived you walked towards the end off the hall and opened the door with your key card. A big smile as you entered the room. "Finally some rest." You said as you stretched your neck and walked towards the bed. But as soon as you walked through the door two men grabbed you by the arms. You tried to scream and break free from their grasp but it was no use. One of them held a cloth against your mouth and nose with some chloroform on it making you stop struggling after a while and falling into a deep slumber.

While you were unconscious the men dragged you outside the room, making sure no one saw you. They took you inside the elevator where someone was already waiting for your arrival. It was the lady from the counter that gave you your room earlier. "Let's move fast. Once you get out of the elevator go immediately towards the right. Go through the last door and that should lead you towards the back of the hotel. The van is waiting there." She said. Once they got you in the van they drove off to who knows where.

A few hours later you woke up with an incredible headache, as a side effect of the chloroform. You groaned as you opened your eyes, white light shining all around you. Once your eyes got adjusted to the light that came from big windows all around you you could also make out some silhouettes. "Our little princess is finally awake." You heard a voice. The voice sounded awfully familiar. But you couldn't put a name on it just yet.

You tried to move your hands but quickly figured out they were bounded behind your back. Same went for your legs. Tied against the legs of a chair. You looked back in front of you and the silhouette stood up from his place and walked closer until it was close enough. It squatted down in front of you and now you were able to identify the person clearly. "Hoseok..?" You said with unbelief.

He smirked at you. "Good morning princess." He said smiling. "Hope you slept well." Then you noticed the pain in your neck, shoulders and lower back. How long had you been tied to this chair for? You asked yourself. "You've been out for a pretty long time." Hoseok answered before you could even ask. "I hope my men weren't too rough on you." He said letting out a chuckle and standing back up to walk back towards his chair. He picked up an envelope from next to him and gave it to the man on his left. "Here, split it between you and the other guy. You did a great job." He told the man before he left the room, leaving only you and Hoseok.

"W-Where am I?" You asked. Your voice still a bit husk. "Is this xxx street? Your hide out here in Busan after you escaped?" You asked making Hoseok only laugh.

"Oh you wish sweetheart. Busan was just a distraction to get that tech guy of yours and your men off of my tail. We're in Ulsan right now." He told you. "I must admit... Your men are good at finding me but remember, I'm always a step ahead." He said. You looked at him and scoffed. "Asshole..." You muttered under your breath. "I heard that." Hoseok answered.

"Good, glad you know." You told him. He sighed and shoved his chair a bit closer before leaning forward, his arms resting on his thighs. "Tss, even bounded to a chair you still are a furry." He said. "Do you know why I brought you here Miss y/n?" You stayed quiet, clenching your teeth. "I brought you here because I got a proposition for you."

You scoffed. "And what may that be? You're gonna turn yourself in to me and let me torture you?" You asked nonchalantly.

He shook his head and hissed. "Aish, such a beautiful face but such a dirty mouth." He said, leaning back again. "You know the Choi clan right?" He asked. You scoffed. "Of course I know the Choi clan. Who doesn't? They're the biggest mafia out here in South-Korea. My father's mafia's greatest enemy."

Hoseok nodded. "Indeed. We've been already trying for years to stop them but without success."

"And what does all this got to do with me?" You asked him, not impressed by his little talk about the Choi's.

"I need your help." He said, a serious gaze on his face. "I need you to tell us everything you know about the Choi clan and help us arrest them. There is no better view over a mafia as the view of a mafia boss itself." You looked aside, out of the window. Now only noticing you were at a house right next to some low cliffs ending at the sea. You laughed. "And what's in that for me? I can help you but you're probably gonna arrest me afterwards anyways. So why should I bother?" You looked back at him.

He nodded, following your path of thinking. "I knew you would say that. Here's the deal. You help us destroy the Choi clan and I guarantee you won't go to prison. It's that simple." He said, standing up and walking around your chair. You wanted to say something but Hoseok was first. "And I know you're gonna refuse but think for a second... You have no where to run y/n." He stood now right behind you. He leaned in closer towards your right ear. "I got bombs all over your places." Then he switched to your left ear. "And I got you, tied to chair here right now. So either you're going to help or I turn you in right now and then you can say bye bye to your little mafia life." He said.

You scoffed. You wanted to protest but you knew he was right. He had you completely in the palm of his hand. There was no escape from him. "I give you three days starting today to decide whether you're in our out. In that time," He said, cutting the rope that was holding your hands together. "You are free to stand and walk wherever you want but," He said, turing towards your front and also cutting through the ropes at your feet. "You don't go off this domain. You'll stay at the house or at least in its presence. I have guards all over this place so don't you dare escape. Cuz things won't end well if you do" He spoke lowly, standing up while you pulled your hands to your chest, rubbing your sour wrists. The skin a deep red colour from where the rope had been a while ago.

You watched as he walked towards the door at the back of the room. "I'll stay here too. Come see me whenever you made your decision. I hope you enjoy your stay here." He turned his head towards you one last time, giving you a big grin before turning back around and walking out of the room leaving you all alone.

Already one day and one night had past and you still hadn't made your decision. You know going in on Hoseok's decision was your only option so far but you couldn't stop thinking if there maybe was another way. If your men maybe could get you out of here without Hoseok's deal involving. Should you go accept Hoseok's deal? Maybe. Where you stubborn? ... Hell yes. You don't like to lose and give in to others. So this time you also didn't want to just give into him. You couldn't. You were the boss of a big mafia! You shouldn't bow for just anyone.

That day you didn't talk to Hoseok at all. You did see each other sometimes and ate meals together but that would always be in complete silence. You expected Hoseok to annoy you but surprisingly he didn't. After lunch Hoseok left the house for the first time since you were here leaving you all alone. (The bodyguards are still there so dw, you can't escape that easy ;)).

That night when Hoseok came back he was so frustrated. You could see it at his behaviour as you were both eating dinner together at a rather late hour, you must admit. "What's wrong?" You asked. If you had to stay here for a few days you could at least make it a bit less awkward between the two of you.

Hoseok looked up at you. Surprised that you actually started a conversation with him after ignoring his existence in this house for at least 24 hours. "So you haven't lost your voice yet? That's a relief." He joked.

You sighed. "I'm serious Hoseok. What's wrong?" You tried again, trying to be as friendly as possible es hard as it was. He looked at you confused as for why you would care for him. "It's nothing you should concern about." He stated before starting to eat again.

You sighed. "Look, I know we're enemies and We both know we can't stand each other for one bit but... If I need to stay here for the few days ahead I want to make it at least a bit more comfortable for both of us. So..." You swallowed your proud and stubbornness as you said the following lines. "So, if something is wrong then please don't hesitate to come talk to me. I'm here for you ok?" You cringed at stating your own words but this was something you needed to do. Not only to make it more comfortable but also to earn Hoseok's trust. Maybe it could come in handy later on. You never know.

Hoseok nodded at your request. "I will princess." You wanted to snap at him giving you that nickname again but you quickly figured out you better shouldn't. Hoseok knew you were holding yourself in for not going all furry on him and he loved it. He loved making you all worked up and angry. Besides that fact that you were a dangerous mafia boss you were also a very pretty woman. No denying that. And seeing you all worked up and going all furry on him made him feel some kind of things.

"I'm a bit tired." Hoseok stated after a while. "I'll go get some sleep. You should do the same." He said, shoving his chair backwards and getting up from his seat. "And don't forget to think about my proposition Y/n. It's a very good and reasonable deal if you think about it throughly. I hope you can state me your decision tomorrow. But for now, goodnight." He said and then left towards his room.

After you were done eating you also left towards your room to get some good night rest. You sat onto your bed after putting on some sleep wear. You sighed as you thought about your situation. You really felt stuck. You couldn't contact anyone since you didn't have your phone. Hoseok must have hidden it when you were unconscious. your men also haven't been looking for you yet either... Did they even knew in what kind of situation you were right now? Did Tae knew? Would he be worried right now since you haven't texted him yet in these 2 days you've already gone missing?

You let out a deep sigh as questions kept filling your mind. It made you crazy! But suddenly all worries were blown away, out of your mind, as you felt two arms wrap around your frame from behind and two lips placing a delicate kiss onto your neck. Your eyes widened in shock. You quickly looked at your side only to lock eyes with someone you didn't expect.

Hoseok.

He softly smiled at you. "Hey princess." He said, smiling softly. "W-What are you doing here?!" You asked while getting out of the man's grip and standing up from the bed. Why was he here? Why did he touched you like that? Why did he acted so... sweet?

Hoseok tilted his head to the side and looked you up and down, smirking and biting his lip. "Couldn't sleep." He said.

You looked confused at him. He couldn't sleep? So why did he came here then? Out of all places why here? In your room? "So?" You said.

He let out a small chuckle and stood up from the bed, making slow steps forwards, closer to you, making you taking steps backwards until your body hit the wall. No where to run now.

Hoseok placed his hands at both sides of your head, against the wall. "Listen up my lady, I can't sleep and it seems like you can't sleep either, so what do you say about having some fun together hm?" He asked, his eyes scanning your face for some kind of reaction before resting on your perfect shaped lips. God, it drove him wild. Those delicious luscious lips...

You looked at him in shock. Was he really asking what you thought he was asking?! Was he referring to sex? "You tried to slap him in the face but he caught your hand on time and pinned it against the wall making you gasp. You must admit it was kinda hot, seeing his fast reflexes.

He pushed closer against you, one of his legs pushed between yours, his knee against your princess parts, his chest pressed against yours. You swallowed as you looked into his deep brown eyes. You could see they were filled with lust. Completely the opposite of how you both would look at each other a day ago.

God, it made you feel things... That lust filled gaze of him. And his knee, pressed against your core didn't made it any easier. "What will it be love? I don't have all night. I know we're supposed to be enemies but I remember a certain person saying we should get more comfortable around each other and that I was always welcome. Do you still remember that princess?" He asked you and you nodded. You didn't knew what was wrong with you but Hoseok's sudden dominant behaviour got the best of you.

He leaned even more closer towards you, your noses brushing against each other, his lips so close to yours and yet they didn't touch. "What do you want princess? Tell me..." He said, and with those final last words you lost it.

"You" You answered him almost immediately. Without hesitation Hoseok started to kiss you and you surrendered completely to him. You kissed him back and Hoseok let go of your hand that was still pinned against the wall. Your arms fell onto his shoulders. You pulled him closer, deepening the kiss some more, your fingers playing with the locks at the back of his hair. Hoseok bite and sucked at your bottom lip until you finally opened your mouth allowing him inside. Hoseok slipped his tongue inside and started to play with yours. You both moaned into the kiss as it got really steamy and messy. "Fuck Y/n- I didn't knew you could kiss that well." Hoseok stated, breathing heavily between kisses. You smirked. "Had lots of practise in the past i guess." You answered before he guided your leg around his hips, his mouth smashing against yours again in a hot kiss. He slapped your thigh two times, asking you to jump which you gladly did. You wrapped both of your legs around Hoseok's waist, not breaking the kiss as he takes you with him towards the bed.

When he hit the bed frame with his feet he slowly sat down, making you sit on top of his lap. You grinned against him, never breaking the kiss. Soft moans and groans coming out of both of your mouths. Hoseok let go of your lips only to wrap them around your jaw and throat. You moaned, grinding harder against him as he found your sweet spot. "Fuck Hobi-" Without you realising a cute nickname slipped out for the man under you. Hoseok stopped kissing for a while looking up at you. "What- What did you just say?" He asked, already half out of breath from your make-out session.

You blushed as you bite your lip, looking away in embarrassment. Hoseok took a hold of your chin and made you look at him again. "Hey, Look at me while I'm talking. Now answer me princess." He said. "What did you just call me." It sounded more like an order now then a question.

"H-Hobi..." You said quietly. It was quiet for a second. Hoseok just stared at you as he took in your words. Then he suddenly grinned, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. "Cute..." You could hear him whisper under his breath before he pecked your lips. Then he went down again, kissing and napping at your sweet spot. You were sure it was going to leave a bruise later on but right now you didn't mind. Your brain was a haze, your body felt hot and you were so wet down there.

His hands kept roaming your body. From caressing your back to gripping your hips, to grind you more and harder against him, grouping your ass and so on. His hands found their way under you shirt and he pushed it up to get it off of you. You helped him getting it off making him stare at your red laced bra afterwards holding onto your breasts.

He grouped them into his hands, squeezing them softly while you just watched. You knew you shouldn't love all this right now and you knew you surely shouldn't do it with him but you couldn't resist it. And besides, it had been so long since you've had dick. And from what you could feel in his pants right now he got one on the larger size.

You bite your lip as you looked at him getting one breast out of your bra, his thumb caressing over the little but making you whimper. He looked at you, giving you a lazy smirk before he attached his mouth to your breast. He let his tongue roll over your nipple, now and then sucking on it, making them go even harder. His other hand still working on your other breast before he switched sides. Now your left nipple in his mouth and his fingers playing and pinching the other one. While he was busy sucking your tits he unbuckled your bra, making it fall onto your lap. You slept your arms out of the straps and threw it aside.

When you turned your head back towards him his lips met yours again in a quick but deep kiss. "Now love... It has been so long since I've had a woman so close to me. So what would you say of making me feel your mouth, huh? Would you do that for me princess?" He said, his thumb tracing over your bottom lip before slipping onto your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it and started to suck on his finger. It may look strange but it kinda comforted you, making you feel smaller and wanting to submit more to him. Letting him take full control.

You nodded as an answer and smiled, getting his thumb out of your mouth. "Now," he said. "Get on your knees love."

He pulled down his pants and boxers as you sat down on the floor, his dick springing free standing tall and red. He was so ready for you. You licked your lips before kissing his length. Starting at the bottom and making your way towards his already leaking top. When you got at the top you started to take him inside of you, making him groan as you suck on his tip, your tongue rolling over the little slit. "Fuck-, that feels so good princess. Keep going." He said, closing his eyes and putting his hand behind him leaning on his strong arms as he felt his body melt under your touch. After teasing the tip for a while you tried to slowly bob your head up and down, every time when you're going down taking an inch more into your mouth until you couldn't anymore. The part that didn't fit into your mouth you stimulated with your hand, moving it up and down in a steady motion with your head.

Hoseok grasped onto your hair out of pleasure, pulling it softly and getting it out of your face. He wanted to see your face while you pleasured him so well. You were such a good girl for him. So good... He never expected for you to go in on his proposal of having a one night stand for tonight but he loved how turned on you got from him and how submissive you got after you acted like such a brat earlier. He liked to get you worked up and make you go all furry to him but having you now submit to him did something to him. He had been watching you for already so long and now he had you for him alone he couldn't drop the chance and just rushed to your room.

Hoseok felt himself getting close as you went bit faster, your droll already rolling over his dick and towards his balls, your eyes getting teary but you didn't cry. "I'm close baby." He told you. "I'ma cum in your warm little mouth and you're gonna swallow it all. You're my good girl after all, isn't it?" He asked and you nodded.

You loved to be a brat but for some reason hearing Hoseok call you a good girl made you want to please him in all kind of ways. You wanted to be his good girl and his only. You loved his small praises, the cute nicknames he gave you and that irresistible smirk of him whenever you did something he loved or when he had a little plan up in that head of his. In other words he made you go crazy for him.

A few more thrusts and he finally came, tinting the walls of your mouth white. And just like he asked you, you swallowed it all, showing him afterwards. "Good girl. Did so well princess." He praised you again and you smiled up at him as he held your chin, pulling you back up.

He sat you back on his lap and kissed your lips, tasting himself before flipping you over onto your back, on top of the soft mattress. You gasp as he does so.

He grins and hovers over you, ghosting his lips over yours for a while making you hungry for more until he finally kissed you again. He kissed over your jaw and behind your ear. "Princess, I want you to turn around for me." He whispered before biting your ear playfully and getting up so you could turn around for him. You did as he said and turned around now laying on your stomach. He slowly looked you up and down, his hand gliding over your half naked body until he stops at your ass. He helps you out of your pants and panties, throwing them aside. After that he also gets off his remaining clothes before hovering over you again, leaving soft kisses on your shoulders. You whimpered as you felt his hard dick poking your asscheeks. You had been so wet this whole time. Your pussy was craving for some attention.

Hoseok chuckled deeply as he felt you grind against him. "Such a slut for me princess. Your body is just begging me to get touched." He said making you whimper a second time.

But luckily you didn't have to wait long or his full length was already inside you. You moaned as he filled you up so well. "Fuck-" Hoseok breathed out. Because you were already so wet for him he slipped right in and he didn't expected that. But it wasn't like you were to loose. You still felt so tight. It was like your little cunt was just made for him.

He pulled it out before pushing it back in, making you both moan simultaneously this time. You both felt so good. No words to describe it.

When Hoseok started to move for real this time he didn't hold back. He didn't really wait for you to adjust to him (not that you needed to) and started to thrust at an already rapid pace. Moans and groans filled the room as Hoseok was ramming into your pussy like crazy. Right now you felt like you were on cloud nine and on Hoseok's side it was just the same. You both had no thoughts at that moment, the only thing on your minds is how good the other's body felt against your own.

After a short while you felt that familiar knot in your stomach. Meaning you were close. Hoseok could feel it at how tight your pussy became. Sometimes pulsating, driving him crazy. "I-I'm c-close-" You said to him between moans and heavy breaths.

As you told him that he suddenly seemed to stop making your groan and whimper. "Hoseooookkkk-" You were whining, not liking his warm flesh leaving you wet and aching hole. But before anything else he flipped you around and pushed back in. You moaned.

"Want to see your face." He said. "Wanna see how good I make you feel." He stated before slowly starting to trust again, his eyes never leaving your face, taking in every detail, every new expression that took place on that oh so beautiful face. He speed up a bit, seeing your expression change again and hearing your moans getting louder. Like before you ached around him, getting tighter and tighter as that wave of pleasure came back, bringing you close to pure ecstasy. "Cum for me sweetheart." Hoseok said as he felt himself getting close as well.

As like his words were the magic spell your body was waiting to hear you both came undone, Hoseok's mouth devouring yours again, muffling your moans as you came. You both stayed in that position for a while, your lips still attached against each other as Hoseok spilled his load inside of you until his dick softened down again and slipped out. You whimpered at the loss.

Hoseok gave you a last peck on the lips before getting off of you and laying on his back beside you, staring up at the ceiling. "That... Was amazing." He said out of breath. You laughed and nodded. "That was indeed." You answered him. "It has been so long since I had such good sex." You admitted. "Me too, princess. Me too..."

"You're on the pill, right?" Hoseok suddenly asked, turning his head towards you. "Why you asking?" "Well, we didn't use a condom. I hope you don't mind." Hoseok said, blushing a bit and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. How was this the man the one that ever took control over you a while ago?

"I don't take the pill but I got a spiral implanted. So no need to worry about getting me pregnant." You told him. He nodded and then stared back at the ceiling. He suddenly laughed. "What?" You asked turning towards him. He shook his head. "Was just thinking of something.." "Tell me." He played on his side and looked at you. "You know what they say about keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" He asked, a playful smile on his face. "Well I think this way we're definitely keeping our enemies closer." He winked at you and you scoffed, a little smile creeping through.

And that's how you both ended up talked a bit that night until you felt your body getting tired and just fell asleep.

Opening your eyes the next morning it seems you were the first one awake. You tossed around and laid on your other side facing the still fast asleep man next to you. You smiled as he looked so soft while sleeping. So... harmless. You smiled as you looked at him, admiring his cute, puffy face he made while sleeping. How could anyone want to hurt this man?

You shook your head. Did- Did I just think that?! You asked yourself. Get him out of your head Y/n! He's supposed to be your enemy! You told yourself. But yesterday night was just so... You bite your lip as you thought back about yesterday night. Maybe... Just maybe you could trust this man for once. Maybe it was ok to let go for just a little while.

You thought back about his proposition. You didn't knew if yesterday night was one of his plans to get you to follow him into his idea or not but this morning you finally made your decision. You were gonna take Hoseok's offer. It's not like you had any other plans, right?

Before you knew it the men next to you woke up and when he saw you were awake he smiled, closing his eyes and yawning, stretching his muscular arms. "Morning.." He said softly in his deep morning voice. God, you were such a simp for that voice from now on. "Morning." You answered him. You got a bit shocked as the boy leaned in and softly pecked your lips.

Hoseok looked at your shocked face and let out a small giggle before turning onto his back and looking up at the ceiling taking a deep breath. "Last night was... amazing." He said. You nodded but of course he couldn't see it so you answered him afterwards. "Yeah.." You said softly. "Hoseok?" You asked and he turned his face sideways so he could see you, a soft smile plastered onto his face. "Please call me Hobi." He said. You blushed as you remembered you accidentally calling him that last night.

You gave him a small awkward smile and a soft nod. "H-Hobi?" You tried again. "What is it angel?" He asked. Angel... Well that was a new nickname to add to the list. He hadn't called you angel before. You kinda liked it... Stop it! Stop thinking about it Y/n! You internally sighed. Why did he made you feel like this??

"Y/n?" Hoseok called out your name as he saw you were caught in thoughts all of a sudden. "Huh?" You said as you heard his voice. "Oh.." You looked at him and bite your lip before deciding to be bold and sit a bit up. One hand holding you up and one softly wrapped around Hoseok's naked chest under the blanket. You softly let your fingers glide over the warm skin. "I just wanna say... I'm in." You told him, not really wanna admit it but your heart said it was the only right thing to do and your brain said it was the only option to do.

Hoseok looked at you a bit confused before understanding it. "You're for real?" He asked shocked and you nodded. "I will help you catch the Choi's. I already kinda know how too I think..." You said. You looked up at him and Hoseok was smiling at you. He softly started to pet your head. "You made the right decision. I'm glad you decided to cooperate." You don't know why but hearing Hoseok saying you did well made you feel all giddily and good around him. And on top of that the pats he was giving you... You felt like you were in heaven. You may look and sometimes act like a real bitch, well- actually most of the time-, but somewhere inside there you were just a soft girl.

Hoseok let out a deep breath getting you both out of your silent trance you both seemed to be in. "We should go get some clothes on and then we can discuss further details." He said and you nodded, unwrapping your arm from around him and laying back down so he could get up.

Once you both showered and were fully dressed again you sat together at the table to discuss your plan. "So, you said you had something in mind right?" Hoseok asked and you nodded. "Tell me."

"Well," You started off. "You probably already know Mr Choi has two daughters" Hoseok nodded. "but did you knew he also had a son?" You asked and Hoseok looked at you confused. "We've been through those files multiple times. He had a son. He died 10 years ago." Hoseok said, grabbing the file and showing you.

You smirked and shook your head. "That's the part he made you guys see. The rumour goes that he's still alive." You said and Hoseok looked at you in shock. "How is that possible?"

You grinned. "I don't know either but apparently he is. About this... there is good and bad news. What you wanna hear first?" You asked Hoseok. "Good first." He answered.

"Very well then. The good news is, they guy should be in Korea. Multiple people keep saying he's still here and have seen him. It has also been confirmed with pictures. Now the bad news... We have no idea how he looks like. We have witnesses but no descriptions or clear pics of his face."

"So he could be anyone..." Hoseok said and you nodded. "Exactly." "And what has this son to do with getting the Choi's?" Hoseok suddenly asked.

"Well, get the son and you get to the father! People say they still see each other once a year. You said you couldn't get your hands onto Mr Choi? Well he's your chance." You said.

Hoseok seemed lost in thoughts as he looked at the documents in front of him. "But how are we going to find him?" He asked. "There live thousands of people here in Korea." He stated.

You smirked. "I got the perfect solution for that."

A few hours of convincing Hoseok and taking a plain back to Seoul and you were standing again at your own house. More specifically, Taehyung's workspace. "So you are sure this guy can find Choi's son?" Hoseok asked you for the already umpteenth time. You sighed. "For the last time Hope, Taehyung is the best. This guy here gets everything done." You said earning a grin from Taehyung himself who was seated at his usual place, behind his computers. "Well, thanks for the compliment Y/n." He said. "And Hoseok, don't worry. I'll find this guy. It's not because you failed that I will." He gave Hoseok a quick wink making him scoff.

How does he even has the audacity. Hoseok thought. "Good luck man." Hoseok said before walking out of the room with you, leaving Taehyung alone to do his job.

"So what do we do in the meanwhile?" Hoseok asked you. "We just relax a bit. There's not much we can do anyways." You told him. And before you knew it you had let him to your bedroom. (Not for what you think you pervs out there.😏 It's not always about sex.)

You sat down on your bed as Hoseok admired your room, standing still at some pictures. "Is that you?" He asked, holding up one in particular. You smiled and nodded, thinking back about old good memories. "That's me and my mom." You said as you thought back about her. Her soft hands, her warm smile. You missed her a lot. "What happened to her?" Hoseok asked; like he could read you expression. "Cancer..." You answered. "Dad was so broken after she died." You looked up from the picture at Hoseok again, giving him a sad smile. "It's not because we are feared mafia's that we don't know what true love is. What mom and dad had... Was something special. They really loved each other." You said.

Hoseok put the picture back down and walked over to you, sitting down next to you and holding your fragile frame. "I wish she was still here. She was a wonderful woman." You said as Hoseok softly caressed your head. "She told me I should always follow my heart."

Hoseok pulled back from the embrace and gave you a small reassuring smile. You don't know why but your body seemed to react on it and you started to smile back at him. You didn't knew how you became from being enemies only a few days ago to feeling so close to him now but it felt good and you kinda didn't want to let go of that feeling.

Hoseok put a strand of hair behind your face before speaking. "Y/n, what would you think of getting out of this... mafia live of yours? Just start a new life, a better one. Maybe even go start a family." He said.

You laughed ad shook your head. "I can't do that... I maybe had a choice as a kid but after my father died and I took over... I can't just leave like that. And besides... Some people here are like family to me. I can't just leave them." You told him.

"What if you could?"

Before you could answer him, the door to your bedroom opened. "Boss! I didn't knew you were already back and oh- You found him?! Do I need to get the guards?" Marcus asked after storming in.

You smiled and turned towards Marcus. "No need Marcus. It's alright. I made a deal with Mr Jung here so from now on he won't be our prisoner anymore. He will be our guest. And besides, I already told you to just call me by your name. You're not just anyone Marcus. You were my father's friend. So please be comfortable and just see me as a friend too." You said, earning a smile back from him. "Sure Y/n. Do you guys need anything?" He asked and you shook your head. "Not really but thank you Marcus. I'll see you later downstairs." You told him and with that he left your room again.

"Marcus?" Hoseok asked and you turned back to him. You nodded. "My father saved him a few years ago when I was still a kid. Since then he had been my father's most trusted man and also his friend. After he died he swore to protect his family no matter what. So that's how he became my wing man now." You told him and Hoseok nodded. "I see.."

You sighed and stood up. "Well... I should go downstairs now. Marcus is probably waiting for me. You can stay here until I come back our just room around a bit in the house. Whatever you like." You told him and he nodded. "see you later Hobi!" You said with a smile as you walked towards the door. Hoseok smiled back, even happier as he heard you used the little nickname again. "See you later." He said before you finally walked out of the door.

"Ok... explain to me Y/n why that guy is just randomly relaxing in your room?" Marcus asked you once you were both sitting downstairs on the sofa. "Well Marcus, Like I told you, I made a deal with Mr. Jung." "Are you crazy?!" Marcus yelled. "That's like making a deal with the devil!"

"Calm down!" You yelled back at him, making him shut his mouth and sit back down. "Now let me explain." You d-said, fixing your hair. "When I was in Busan I bumped into Hoseok like planned. We... had a little encounter afterwards." You said, thinking back about how he kidnapped you but afterwards how he could pleasure you so well. You swallowed, stopping your thoughts and licking your dry lips. "Then Hoseok came with a proposition. His agency is after the Choi's. Even more then after us. He promised if we helped he would leave us alone afterwards." You explained to the man in front of you.

"And what makes you think he's speaking the truth?" Marcus asked you. You stared into the distance, a small smile forming onto your mouth. "I believe Hobi." You said.

Marcus looked at you with questionable eyes. "H-hobi?" He asked. You swallowed, eyes in shock. Did you just said that out loud?! You looked at Marcus. "I-" How were you going to explain this? "What happened back in Busan?" Marcus asked. "Nothing just-... I was tired of him giving me those little nicknames so I gave him one to annoy him too! Yeah! That's it." You said, a nervous giggle afterwards. You hoped he didn't suspected anything.

Marcus nodded. "Alright then.." He said, dropping the topic. "And besides, Imagine. For so long the Choi's have been at the top of Korea's mafia. Once they're down we're the new number one. We'll finally stand at the top Marcus! How wonderful is that!" You told him enthusiastic. Marcus nodded. "That's... Indeed great!" You frowned your eyebrows. You expected Marcus to be the most enthusiastic out of the two of you. "Is everything alright?" You asked him.

He cleared his throat. "Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. I was just worried about you. What if something happens to you. I still can't trust that Hoseok guy." He said. You gave him a soft smile, placing your hand on top of his. "Don't worry Marcus. I got this." And with that you stood up and walked out. "By the way Marcus," You said, turning around one last time. "Can you go check how Taehyung's work is going and give me an update on it? It's quite important and I only trust you with it." You told him. He nodded. "Of course. I'll go check right away boss!"

When you came back to your room you were surprised that Hoseok was still there. It was like he never left. "I thought you would've already went off to go explore the place." You said as you walked in. Hoseok looked up at you. "Neah, not really. I rather stay here. It's quiet here." He said, laying back onto the bed.

You went to sit at the edge of the bed and looked outside the big window in your room. Suddenly you felt Hoseok's hand grabbing yours and to Hoseok's surprise you laced your fingers with his. He smiled, looking at your face as it looked beautiful to him with the current lighting coming from your windows. You hair already got a bit messy from walking around all over the place all day. You may have been a target for him at first but right now, the only thing he could think about calling you was his angel. That's how you looked in Hoseok's eyes like an angel still trapped into the claws of the devil... The mafia. If he only could get you out of this life and give you a better one. "Leave this place with me tonight."

You turned your head towards Hoseok as these words came out of his mouth. "What?" "You heard me." Hoseok said, sitting back up and sitting a bit closer towards you. "Leave this place with me. Y/n, I can see this is no life for you... I promise I can give you a better one." Hoseok said, looking deep into your eyes. You suddenly felt all naked, like Hoseok could look right through you and into your soul. It's not like you loved the mafia but it also wasn't like you hated it.

"How...?" You quietly asked. "I already told you it's not that easy..." You said, looking down at your still intertwined hands. "Let's just leave this place tonight. No one will know. And we'll see what happens afterwards." Hoseok pushed your chin back up with his free hand. "Look at me Y/n. Do you trust me?" Hoseok asked.

You thought for a second, nervously chewing on your lip. Eventually you nodded your head. You knew you couldn't deny anymore what was happening between you and Hoseok. You knew it all went quick but there was just this sparkle between you and from today on you couldn't unseen it anymore.

Hoseok smiled at your response. "Good. So please Y/n, please come with me." He said, leaning in closer and delicately kissing your lips. You nodded. "A-alright. Let's get out of here tonight. But... I can't leave Taehyung here behind. I need him to go with us. He's my best friend Hope... We grew up together."

Hoseok looked you into the eyes while playing with your hand. "You're sure you can trust him enough to let him come with us?" He asked and you nodded. "I'm a hundred percent sure of it." Hoseok nodded. "Ok then. Go tell him. We'll leave at 3am. Everyone should be asleep by then."

And so as planned you went to speak to Taehyung. You told him the plan and of course he supported you in your decision. He was glad you asked him to go with you. He joked around saying' if Hoseok didn't take you away from here I would'. You laughed at him but then he started to question you about Hoseok and then the blushing and stuttering came. Of course, as the good friends you are, you told him about how you felt something towards the boy but wasn't quiet sure jet but it just felt right. As last you also talked about who the son of the Choi's could be but Taehyung only said it was difficult and he didn't knew yet.

After your little chat with Taehyung and bumping into Marcus inside the hall you were finally back in your room, making everything ready together with Hoseok. "Go get some rest Y/n." Hoseok said, packing the last of your things. You didn't intended to take much with you but no matter what Hoseok insisted he would help you pack. With the small bag finally packed you lay down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. You heard Hoseok close the zipper of the back before feeling the mantras getting heavy next to you. "I am surprised I'm doing this... A few days ago I wouldn't even have thought of escaping this life. I was so focused on making my parents proud..." You said before scooping a bit closer towards Hoseok, resting your head on his shoulder while he wrapped his arms around you. "No matter what you do, I think your parents will always be proud of you Y/n. Now go sleep. You got a few hours." He said, kissing the top of your head.

"Goodnight Hope."

"Goodnight Y/n."

While you slept Hoseok didn't close an eye. He stayed awake all night, staring at you and also keeping the guard. He knew it may be foolish of him but there was someone in this house Hoseok didn't trust. And that was Marcus. Marcus had always been a strange figure in Hoseok's eyes and today it only got worse.

Hoseok lied to you when you asked him if he stayed in your room the whole time you were gone. In fact, Hoseok went to look for Taehyung. He had something in mind and the only one that could confirm it was him.

"Taehyung, can you look into someone for me?" Hoseok asked as he walked into Taehyung's office. "Who do you need me to look for?" The guy asked, looking at him from behind his desk. "I want you to get some research done on that Marcus guy."

Taehyung looked at him in shock. "Marcus? Why?" He asked, genuinely confused. "I don't trust him at all and I need to confirm something..." Hoseok said, standing behind Taehyung, looking at the screens.

"Marcus has been friends with Y/n's father for so long. Why wouldn't you trust him?" Taehyung said. "You don't think that-" Taehyung broke his own sentence into a silence as he finally understood what Hoseok was looking for. Hoseok nodded. "I think he's our man."

And just like he had thought Taehyung confirmed it that evening. Marcus was indeed the person you guys had been looking for. He was the son of the one and only Mr. Choi. But what would the son of a filthy rich mafia boss do in their enemies house? Hoseok could only think of one thing...

Then a bullet shot through the window and got caught by the opposite wall. Hoseok shook you awake. "Y/n wake up! Plans have changed, we need to go now!" You immediately woke up and you both stood up from the bed, only to hear another two gunshots. You both quickly laid flat on the ground. "W-what is that?" You asked, still halve asleep and confused. "They're here to kill you Y/n."

"What?!" You asked confused. "Who would possibly want to kill me?!" Again shots and Hoseok pulled you with him inside your closet. No windows there so the shutters don't know where to shoot anymore. Then a door opened giving you the answer to your question. "Well, hello hello!"

You looked at Hoseok in shock recognising the voice. Was that Marcus?! Hoseok put his finger in front of his lips telling you to not make any noise.

"Where are you little princess? I know you're somewhere in here~" Marcus said as you heard him walk around the room. "I know your lover boy is with you too." He said.

"You know... I wished things would've gone other ways but you just leave me no choice Y/n. You're just like your father." He said before shooting at the ceiling, making you jump a bit.

But what did he mean, just like your father? "You know the day your father died... It was my doing. He tried to escape too and just like you now, he left me no choice but to kill him right there and then."

You placed your hand over your mouth in shock. Your body was trembling while tears were threatening to leave your eyes. Marcus killed your father? But why would he ever do that? They were like best friends. Hoseok took your trembling body in his arms, shushing you quietly while he was eagerly looking for a way out of here.

Marcus started to speak again. "I know you're probably wondering... 'Oh why did you kill my daddy Marcus? Weren't you like best friends?' " Marcus said, trying to imitate your voice. "Well dear, It may look like we were friends but I am his worst nightmare. Your worst nightmare!" You heard him push a closet on the ground, making a hella loud noice. "You know who I am Y/n? Why doesn't Hoseok tell you, huh?" You looked at Hoseok confused. What would he know you didn't? "I am Marcus Choi. The son of the biggest, most feared mafia boss." Then a maniac laughter could be heard from him. "Wasn't it a great idea from me to infiltrate your little mafia and bring it down? After the accident happened everyone thought I died but I didn't, what caused me to be in the most ideal position. I thought when your father died I finally made an end to the Lee's but then you showed up from your house in the US and took over!" This time a vase could be heard shattering onto the ground. "Of course daddy's little girl had to take over business! Now where are you Y/n! Cut the crab and come out already!" Marcus yelled.

Hoseok slammed the door open as on clue and run with you towards the door as Marcus tried to shoot at the both of you. Luckly no bullet caught you. Or so you thought... "Hoseok! Your shoulder!" You said while you were running through the halls. "I'm alright. We need to get to Taehyung first to warn him and then get the hell out of here." He said. You looked at his shoulder and let go of his hand. "You'll need your hand to put pressure on that wound." You said.

"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU BITCH!!"

You quickly opened the door and ran into Taehyung's room as you heard Marcus yell from upstairs. "Taehyung!" You yelled as you run towards him and hugged him. He hugged you back. "I heard gunshots, what's happening?" He asked, letting go of you. Then he looked at Hoseok and his arm that was covered in blood. "Fuck that looks bad..." He said. "Is it Marcus?!" He asked and Hoseok nodded. "He somehow must have heard us talking about escaping. We need to go now."

"COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!"

Marcus voice could be heard closer and closer. "He's getting near." You said. The panic could be seen in your eyes as you looked at the two boys. "You two need to get out of here as fast as possible." Taehyung said. "And what about you?!" You asked and he gave you a soft smile. "We can't escape with all of us. Marcus knows this place too well. He'll catch onto us in no time. You go and I'll distract him."

"But what if he hurts you like he did to Hoseok?!" You asked concerned. "Don't worry about me Y/n. I'll be alright. I always am in the end. Just trust me ok?" Leave the house and I'll make sure you escape safely." He said.

"He's right Y/n. We got to go now." Hoseok said as he pulled at your arm. You gave Taehyung one last glance. He smiled and nodded, like he was saying 'it's alright. It's all gonna be fine.' And so you trusted him on that and left with Hoseok through the front door.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Marcus yelled from the top of the stairs aiming his gun towards you but shot into the door because Hoseok could close it on time. A tear left your eye as you thought of Taehyung being inside there with that maniac. You were so scared of what Marcus could do to Taehyung. Then you saw the house go into lockdown. You knew this was Taehyung's doing and it was also a sign for you and Hoseok to leave.

"Where are your cars Y/n?" Hoseok asked. "Right there, behind that corner." you told him as you both ran towards the garages. You opened one and got inside the car as fast as possible, Hoseok behind the steering wheel. "Buckle up!" He said and then started the engine. But before you could ride away a shot was heard. You both looked at the side, it was Marcus. Somehow he managed to escape the house and he just shot one of your tiers. This was no good. "You both looked at him in shock as he aimed the gun towards you two again. Fear in both of your eyes this time as you had no where to run to now. You were so scared knowing this could be your last moment.

You still had so many things you wanted to do. You want to stop this mafia shit, make more times to spend with friends and family and most important of all, start a new better life with the one you loved... Hoseok. As you were so concentrated you didn't saw Taehyung stumble out of the house all beaten up by the hooligan in front of you.

You closed your eyes in fear of what would come and then it finally came. Two gunshots could be heard.

...But strangely they never reached you nor Hoseok. You opened your eyes again and saw Marcus coughing up blood before falling down onto the floor. Someone had shot him. Then from everywhere around the building and bushes men with guns appeared. Hoseok rushed out of the car and towards the men. You looked at your saviours in shock as Hoseok talked to them about something. Two persons went to check on the corps while Hoseok looked back and forth between you and then one he was taking to.

You decided to get out of the car as well and with small steps you walked towards Hoseok. He gave you a soft smile and then took you into a tight hug. "It's alright. It's all over now." He shushed you while caressing your hair as you cried into his chest from the chock and all the stress you had been going through tonight.

"Who is this Seok?" The man that was standing with Hoseok earlier asked. "This is Y/n. She was one of the people captured here by Marcus." Hoseok said. "I see... Can you both come testify one by one in a while?" The man asked. "Sheff, can we do it together? I don't think she's in a state to handle this on her own now." Hoseok stated and the guy nodded. "I give you 15min to calm down a bit. Come inside afterwards.

Once the guy left Hoseok let go off you and took a step back to look at you. "It's alright. Just take some deep breaths." You did as Hoseok said and it calmed you down a bit. "Now, I want you to let me speak when we get inside for the interrogation. If they know you're the boss of this whole mafia you hang." "They will put me in prison?!" You asked in shock and Hoseok shock his head. "No, no, no. I won't let that ever happen princess. Just let me do the talking and everything will be alright, ok?" He said and you nodded. "Ok.." "Good."

"Now... How did all these men come here?" You asked, confused on how Hoseok's men suddenly found your house. "I called them in. When you were talking to Marcus I went to Taehyung to search a bit more information about the man."

"You already knew... You didn't trusted him from the start." You said and Hoseok nodded. "I didn't trusted him indeed but I didn't knew. Well... I wasn't sure yet. So that's why I needed proof. Thanks to Taehyung's help I got it. I contacted my boss afterwards. I told them my location and everything they needed to know. My plan was to get you out first so they could storm in and clear this mess without you having to worry about it. I didn't knew he would come and try to kill you first..." Hoseok said, looking down. "I wanted to capture him to get to the Choi's as originally planned but then the shots and he tried to murder you and-"

"ssh," You said, placing your hands on both of Hoseok's cheeks. He looked up at you and you placed your forehead carefully against his. He calmed down a bit, taking a deep breath. "I'm here Hope. I'm right here. I'm still alive thanks to you. You did good by calling your troops here. Thank you for saving me." You said, smiling at him and he smiled back.

You took a deep breath yourself before both going inside for your interrogation. Like you discussed earlier outside Hoseok did the talking. He had to lie a bit for that but it was necessary to not get you in prison. He told them Marcus killed your dad and captured you afterwards. He told them Marcus took over and then caught him too. When you tried to escape today Marcus tried to kill you both and then the troops came in. That's the story Hoseok told the police. "Can you confirm this Ms. Lee?" The agent interrogating you asked. You nodded. "Yes it is. I have been captured by that battered for years until Hoseok finally came and saved me." You said, Hoseok squeezing your hand under the table as if wanting to tell you 'good job'.

After all that happened that day you still had to find a good story for Taehyung. After that was all done and Taehyung was completely healed again you and Hoseok decided to live together. Taehyung was so happy for the both of you. The only thing he ever wanted was to see his best friend happy and now he knew you finally were.

"Guess who?"

You laughed as you knew who these hands and voice belonged too. "Hoseok, we're the only one in the house right now. Of course it's you." You said giggling. It had been a year since what happened with Marcus and right now you were living happily with Hoseok in a villa at the beautiful coast of Italy.

Hoseok took his hands from around your eyes and went to sit next to your legs onto the sunbed you were currently on. You put off your sunglasses and looked at the man in front of you as he leaned in closer for a kiss. For the ones asking, yes you and Hoseok were a pair. A month after everything that happened and after recovering from the chock for a while Hoseok finally asked you to be his and without hesitating you said yes. And so you now both lived happily in each other's presence.

"I got a surprise for you." Hoseok said, pulling back from the kiss and smiling at you. He then pulled an envelope from behind his back. "What is that?" You asked. "Open it." He said, giving you the envelope. You opened it and pulled out two tickets for... "The opera? Is this real?!" Hoseok smiled and nodded. You wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Thank you so so so muchhhh!!" You said while hugging him happily. In that year of living together Hoseok slowly dithered out your love for opera and classical music so one day when he sat behind his computer he decided to get you a little present. "See it as an early birthday gift." Hoseok said as you let go of him and kissed him full on the lips. He laughed as he kissed you back, loving to see you so happy.

"It's tonight so I suggest you go pick a nice dress to wear because I know if I don't tell you now you'll take ages." You playfully hit his chest while he laughed. "It's true tho! Now go get ready, we leave at 6." He said. You stood up and got a smack onto your ass. "Yah-" You turned around and looked at him. He smiled and just put on his sunglasses laying down onto the sunned you payed on earlier, smirk on his face. "Go get ready! The longer you take the later it will get."

Once you and Hoseok were ready it was indeed almost time. "Told you, you always take a long time in the bathroom." Hoseok said, kissing your naked shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He checked you out through the mirror in front of you. "You look beautiful in that red off shoulder dress." He said and you smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "Thanks love. You don't look that bad yourself in that black suit with red tie." You turned around and playfully pulled on his tie, pulling him closer so you could kiss his lips. He kissed back, pushing you a bit backwards against the sink of your bathroom. "We should stop now or we won't even make it to the opera." Hoseok said, pulling away from you.

He did a step backwards and reached his arm towards you. "My lady," He said playfully. You laughed and wrapped your arm around his as you both walked out of the house and towards the car.

Once in the opera house Hoseok saw that sparkle in your eyes and it filled him with love and admiration for you. You looked so happy and it made him happy too. "Look how beautiful and classy it looks here! Wah." You said as you walked towards the giant stairs. "Did you knew that 'common people' always needed to sit at the low levels and that the rich sat at their private balcony? Until now it are still the most expansive places in the house." You told him, already walking towards the door that lead you towards the lower levels assuming your seats were there.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hoseok asked, pulling you back. "I'm going towards our seats?" You said questionable. "What else?"

Hoseok pulled you with him and onto the stairs. "Hoseok-" You said, looking at him in disbelieve while he pulled you with him up the stairs. "My princess only deserves the best." He said, kissing the top of your head before walking further through the hall on the second floor.

He opened a door with Hoseok's name written on and just like in every opera house there was your private balcony. "You really paid for all of this?!" You asked surprised while walking onto the small balcony, looking down at the podium a bit further. Hoseok went to stand behind you and held you as he admired the opera house with you.

You really were surprised at how he managed to pay for this. After leaving the mafia you of course also had to leave all the money behind. Mafia wasn't really legal so the money went towards the government who would do it's thing with it. You were already shocked at him Hoseok managed to buy the villa in Italy you were currently living in and now these expensive opera tickets?

"My job pays quite well Y/n. I think you sometimes underestimate my job as a secret agent love." He said, kissing your nape before letting go of you and sitting down in one of the chairs. "Come sit with me love." You went to sit down and as if on clue the lights dimmed and the show started.

"This was so good Hoseok! I loved it so much!" You said enthusiastically. The whole car it back home you couldn't stop talking about everything that evening. From the beautiful building to the lovely voice of the sopranos. He felt like he just took a little girl towards Disneyland, mesmerised by the many fairytales around her. That's how it felt with you right now. "Cute..." He mumbled as he opened the door for you.

Once you walked inside you saw something you didn't expected. The floor was covered with rose petals and on every closet or chair were cadges lighting the way towards the living room. You turned around towards Hoseok in shock. "Did- Did you do all this?" You asked him and he gave you a bright smile nodding. "I hope you like it." He said and you nodded. "Are you kidding?! I love it! Hope... You're so sweet." You said, a tear leaving your eyes.

Hoseok wrapped you in your arms letting out a soft chuckle. "Oh baby, don't cry now." He wipes the tear away that fell out of your eye. "This is supposed to be a happy day." He told you. You smiled through your tears. "It's just that- You're just so sweet Hobi, you're amazing and so kind and caring towards me. I can't help it." You said.

Hoseok softly kissed your lips. "It's alright love. I like doing cute and sweet stuff for you. Seeing you happy makes me happy. You know that. The only thing I want is for you to feel loved." He said. He turned you around, holding your hand. "Now go walk a bit further. I got another surprise for you." You gave him a questionable look before walking further.

"T-Taehyung?!" You run towards him and unfolded him into a tight hug. "You're here. You're really here!" When you left Korea Taehyung didn't. He decided to stay, going back to his family and live there for a while, while he would try finding a new job. You thought you would never see him again and here he was, right in your arms.

"Did you set this all up?!" You asked, pulling away from your arms. The boy laughed and nodded. "How did you manage to do all this?" You asked, looking around the room. There were red, pink and white balloons hanging at the ceiling, small red paper hearts were covering the curtains and of course the many candles and rose petals all over the place. "Thank you so much for this. Both of you. This is so cute." You said, your hands on your chest as you looked at the two boys and the work they pulled off.

"Oh, where are my manners." You said, fanning your head. "Sit down Tae! It's been so long. I wanna talk and know everything that happen with you while I was gone. You want something to drink?"

Taehyung laughed and stopped you. "It's alright Y/n. You don't need to do all this." He gave you a sweet smile. "Besides, this evening is supposed to be only you and Hoseok. I stay here for two weeks so enough time to talk later. You go and enjoy your night with your manz." Taehyung said, raising his eyebrows and taking his jacket off of the couch. "I'll leave you alone now. Have a great night guys!" He said, winking and smirking at you as he passed by. "See you tomorrow!"

You laughed as he left the place. "Aish that little-" You said as you watched him leave. Hoseok stood behind you again to hug you. He loved giving back hug's a lot lately. Even while you were sleeping he would always spoon you. "Baby?" Hoseok called out your name while he placed his head on your shoulder. "Let's do what Taehyung said and make this night ours." Hoseok said. "And how are you planning to do that Mister Jung?" You asked your boyfriend teasingly.

He took a deep breath. "I don't know yet Misses Jung." You turned around and looked at him in shock. In the past year he had never used his last name to address you until now. "Misses Jung?" He nodded and smiled taking a step backwards and suddenly going down on one knee. Your hands went to cover your mouth in chock. Was this real? Was he really just... proposing to you?

Hoseok pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it. "Y/n Lee, what would you think of becoming Misses Jung? Will you marry me?" He asked sweetly. He was smiling but you knew inside he was very nervous. So you didn't made him wait long and started nodding your head. "Yes, a thousand times yes. I would love to become your wife Hope." You said and Hoseok's smile widened even more as he stood up again and held you close, his lips meeting yours into a soft but passionate kiss. "You have no idea how happy you make me right now." He said, kissing you over and over again.

You were expected to get the ring around your finger but Hoseok just tossed the box onto the couch and picked you up bridle style. You gasped as he swept you from your feet quite literally. "Let's go celebrate this upstairs, shell we?" He asked and you giggled, caressing his cheek and nodding, kissing his lips as he carried you both upstairs towards your room.

"I love you Hope."

"I love you too, Y/n. My miss mafia."

[rattling-the-teacups]

Reading through your posts and didn’t want to overwhelm you with a ton of notifs. Just wanted to say that you have been in my thoughts. He was so lucky to have been loved by you. Just reading what you have written about him makes me wish I knew him. I know that a million I’m sorrys will never fix the hurt you’re feeling right, but I truly am sorry that you’re having to go through this. Sending you so much love. 💙

I think you sent this ask a few days ago at least, but I've been really appreciating seeing it in my inbox. I'm really happy to know that there are so many people who care about me and Tyler, even folks who don't really know us. Honestly, I was lucky to have been loved by him. Our love for each other will always continue even though he won't. He loved me first, he pursued me even when I got scared and pulled away. He had all the faith in the world in me, he thought I was beautiful, smart, funny, capable. So often I don't believe those things about myself, especially being capable. He would always encourage and support me with my endeavours, he helped me with my classes. He would proofread my assignments before I turned them in, and the only reason why I passed two math classes in a row was because he sat down and did my homework with me. He worked, he took care of my uncle, he took care of the house, he took care of me. Sometimes I worried that he was too spread out to sustain himself, but things were getting less stressful for him and we were making plans for the near future. Nobody can ever know exactly why another person makes the decisions they make, especially if you can't ask them anymore. I have my theories about how he was thinking at the moment of his fatal mistake based on what he told me and what he posted to tumblr. The truth is, though, I don't know why exactly he made the poor decision that led to his death, but I do know that he didn't want to die and that it was an accident. I have made the assumption that you are younger than me, perhaps even younger than Tyler. Please think about what you do before you do it. Don't do things you know are dangerous, even if you think you'll be lucky and nothing bad will happen to you. He wasn't able to learn his lesson, but we can learn from it to avoid the same consequences. Tyler was incredibly smart and intuitive, but he was also reckless and ungovernable. Poor impulse control leads to bad decisions, which can lead to serious outcomes. He really did think nothing seriously bad was going to happen to him, alas for the confidence of youth.

I am grateful for the time I spent with him and bitter over all the time I didn't. Ours was a great romance, we really did love each other to death. I know that if our places were switched that he would have given me the same respect and care that I gave him in his final days. I only wish this would have happened in 70 years instead of last month. I'm older, I'm supposed to die first.

Anyway, thank you again for your kind words. I kind of went off on a tangent and a lecture there, so sorry about that. Thanks for reaching out. I need a reminder that there are good people still and good friends to be made, bread to be broken, life to be lived. 💗

[masked-puppetmaster]

hey, i saw you asked a while ago why dream & techno apologists are apologists for those characters (and you liked a bunch of my posts concerning that, actually) i was wondering if you still have any more questions - and also i wanted to ask if you wanted to talk a bit about c!tommy and what makes you like him so much? like is it just the emotional attachment to him? is it the trauma? anything specific about the way in which he is written? i've always watched his pov & i'm very curious! / - red

yo yo yo hey! I think I understand it a bit more now, for the dream & techo apologists, I think I’m still a bit confused when it comes to technoblade. I see a lot about people only using him as a weapon/ him not being able to trust people / no one sticking up for him and I’m not sure where it comes from? In all fairness, I only know him as the guy who executed Tubbo / spawned withers but im assuming that’s in large part because I came into the story so late (iirc I didn’t really get into the dsmp until around doomsday, and I got most information of past events just by like. osmosis or reading wikis) so I might simply just not have enough information on techno to get it. Like, he executed Tubbo under a lot of pressure iirc but that doesn’t take away from the fact he did execute him? or things with the withers, I know technoblade doesn’t like the government and I’d go as far as to say he has a point, but was it really necessary to destroy lmanburg (iirc, multiple times). I know he was mad, but I feel like he shouldn’t have taken in that far, like from what I see and understand it’s like yes he had his points but he hurt people and doesn’t seem to care that he hurt anybody, just kinda stands there assuming he’s right about everything and not rlly looking at the situation from anyone else’s perspective. That being said like I said I came into the story really late and so my arguments might be able to be chalked up to just a lack of proper context, and even if I’m kinda annoyed at Technoblade’s behavior I still like him as a character & when techno does stream I enjoy the content so I’m not like a technoblade hater or anything I just don’t see why people can be apologists for him bcos from my pov he’s just kind of hurt people and not taken any personal responsibility for it (I mean this as in acknowledging to himself he was ever in the wrong; ex. The whole Tommy / techno betrayal situation which I think was a p complicated matter to be fair he just keeps saying over and over how Tommy betrayed him and it doesn’t seem to me like he’s even bothering to look at the situation from Tommy’s pov or rlly reflect on his own actions at all)

I just rlly like Tommy! I think at least some part of it can be chalked up to Tommy being the first streamer I watched in the dsmp and one of the ones I watch the most from (half the time I’m watching the dsmp it’s a Tommy stream) so there’s just gonna be some inherent bias towards him there like there is with literally any of these streamers. As you put it, it is kinda the trauma, haha. trauma and emotional attachment lol. I think part of it is I relate to him a lot, and I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things, and I also just like the way his character is written. Smthn abt him that people have pointed out is that his trauma isn’t pretty and romanticized it’s ugly and yk he acts out and all that, which I appreciate. I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things or at least understand why he thinks the way he does. I like seeing him learn and grow I like seeing his arcs both personally with himself and with other people. He’s an interesting and complex character and he’s been through a lot and I think it’s just super interesting to see how what he’s gone though affects his mental state and his actions as a character, like just from like a mental analysis standpoint there’s a lot to talk about which I think is pretty cool. this isn’t to say that he’s never fucked up or done anything wrong, because he has, but to be fair so has everyone else on this server I don’t think there’s a single member of the server who’s done nothing wrong (except maybe like. Charlie. Charlie my beloved). He’s made his mistakes but every good character fucks up that’s what makes them a good character is their flaws and so with the ways that he’s messed up and the ways he’s hurt people I’m an apologist because I can see why he acts that way, where the feelings and actions are coming from and I can forgive him for it because I understand the why. Also I just think the punishments he’s received for his actions are rlly unfair, easy ex with exile he did something many people on the server have already done at one point or another and was exiled and mentally broken down over it and rlly it’s just been like one thing after another and even if he’s made mistakes he gets way more harshly punished than I think was fair. I’ve seen people talk about how annoying and selfish his character is and when I read the posts (not all of them, there’s a nice chunk of people who are civil about it) it just seems like they’re not rlly thinking abt his character and his experiences. I’ll see people explain his signs of trauma and say it’s annoying because it’s not soft crying trauma it’s messy acting out trauma which it’s just like you do not understand this at all, do you? Or with the discs, I’ll be honest with you here. I will defend Tommy’s attachment to these stupid little music discs till the day I die. Why can’t he have his discs? They’re his , they’re not even that valuable outside of the fact that they’re his, why can’t he have things? why isn’t he aloud to have items he’s attached to without someone taking them for the sole reason of he likes them. And all I see is people saying he is selfish and cares about the discs more than people, which is literally disproven in the rp. Ranboo flat out says he’s not selfish, when Tommy takes the blame for George’s house (also keeping in mind here tommy and ranboo barely knew each other at the time, and if Tommy was actually selfish he could’ve very easily dragged Ranboo down with him) and when it comes to the discs he’s given up the discs multiple times in favor of helping other people (he gave them up for lmanburg, and then for Tubbo I think twice actually) and the one time he told someone the discs were worth more than they were, that was the moment yeah made him realize he didn’t like who he was becoming and he immediately backtracked and allowed the disc to be handed over. TL;DR he’s not selfish he’s just got a lot of strong attachments and his attachments are both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. And he’s a kid, he’s been though a lot of things, he’s got a lot of trauma he’s dealing

with and it’s not always pretty but he gets better, he has his arcs and he gets better and learns from some of his actions, and I think looking at him and his yk. Timeline and character development and arcs and his whole like mental deal and just general character choices are super interesting and I find it fun, as someone who enjoys character analysis, and all in all I love him I relate to him in some ways and some of it also might just be emotional attachment and bias towards him as Tommy being one of my comfort streamers

& it’s fully possible someone could have just as much of an argument for c!techno, my deal w looking at c!tommy making mistakes and c!techno making mistakes and being able to be an apologist for Tommy and not for techno is more about me understanding tommy’s character better and understand the reasoning and the why behind the things he says and does, vs. techno who i dont really get and i can’t be an apologist for him if I don’t understand anything hes doing or why he’s doing it and then seeing him over and over dismiss other peoples perspectives and never rlly reflecting on himself (not to say Tommy couldn’t use at least a little of that himself- I am Looking over at his relationship w Jack Manifold lol) can be kinda frustrating but as I said earlier that might just be me not knowing all the proper context

I could probably write more about Tommy especially when it comes to the whole technoblade vs Tommy thing but this post is already way longer than you probably ever wanted to read so I’ll stop now I’m sorry I’m just hyperfixated haha and yk if anyone wants to like add arguments or points or if you or someone rlly likes technoblade or dream or whoever and wants to talk to me about that go ahead I encourage that like I rlly enjoy having those conversations w ppl provided theyre civil abt it bc like we’ve all said a million times over before eveyone in the dsmp is an unreliable narrator and you’re just going to automatically have a bias towards a character if you watch their POV most and all that so. Yk I am a tommy apologist but I watch his streams most and I’m also just emotionally attached so anything I can say has to be taken w a grain of salt bcos I’m biased towards his character

[rebelsandtherest]

Final Frontier

My Day 6 submission for @historical-hetalia-week​!

Title: Final Frontier

Summary: He didn't know it, but Alfred F. Jones was about to make what he would later describe as the best mistake of his entire life. A simple mistake of engineering leads to a grand adventure that leads Alfred closer the things he loves most, and the places he can never truly leave behind. Written for Historical Hetalia Week 2021.

Content Warnings: Language

Word Count: 3,406

---------------------

Huntsville, Alabama, USA 1996

He didn't know it, but Alfred F. Jones was about to make what he would later describe as the best mistake of his entire life. Considering that he'd celebrated his 388th birthday shortly before making the mistake, this was no small accomplishment. Small or not, however, it passed by in an instant.

"Hey Jones," Harvey knocked lightly on the open door frame even as he leaned in, broad striped tie swinging to the side. "The writers sent me, you got their specs ready yet?" Alfred looked up at Harvey through his double-bridged glasses, and then back around at his desk, which was covered in papers.

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I've got it here." He elbowed a stack of computer code out of the way and rifled through a pile of floppy disks before uncovering a thick, bound report. He yanked it out from underneath a book. "Here ya go."

Harvey took the report.

"Thanks, man."

"Sure." Alfred turned back to his work.

Mistakes, it must be said, can go undetected for quite some time.

-----------------------

Cheyenne Mountain, El Paso County, Colorado, USA 2008

Alfred's phone began ringing while he was carrying a heavy box to his car.

"Shit," he breathed, and glanced around to make sure no one was looking before balancing the box in one hand, never once breaking his stride. He fished the phone out of his pocket and flicked it open without checking the number. "Hello?"

"Mr. Jones," said the caller. It was a man, and he sounded bureaucratically annoyed in the way that only government officials can. "Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Uh, sure," Alfred frowned, pressing the phone to his shoulder and balancing the box on a hip to unlock his trunk. He set the box inside and picked up the phone again, "who is this?" The man gave his name, which Alfred didn't recognize. He didn't know how to admit this, so he stayed silent. The caller sighed.

"The Administrator of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, Mr. Jones." Alfred's eyes went wide.

"Oh shit—I mean, I'm so sorry sir, I, uh, it's, uh, hello," He put his free hand to his face, wincing. "What can I do for you, sir?" The man on the other end of the line chuckled.

"Well, Mr. Jones, I'll cut to the chase. I'm calling about a machine you helped build for us back in the mid 90s. Part of the Unity module, you remember that project?"

"Yeah, of course," Alfred could see more Air Force personnel coming out to the parking lot with their own boxes, so he ducked into his car and shut the door for some privacy. "What about it?"

"I'm afraid it's broken." Alfred's heart leaped into his throat.

"Unity is broken?!"

"No, but the machine you built is."

"Oh, thank God," Alfred breathed a little easier. The Administrator did not seem so relieved.

"It started malfunctioning earlier this year, and it's getting worse. We don't know why."

"Oh, gosh," Alfred rubbed his forehead. "That ain't good. Have the troubleshooters been able to isolate the problem?"

"That's just it, Mr. Jones. The manuals we have on the system schematics do not seem to be wholly accurate." In the silence and privacy of his own car, Alfred took a moment to look horrified as he realized what this man was saying. The Administrator continued, "A couple of million dollars worth of R&D and many more millions of taxpayer dollars to send the thing into space, and the manual we have isn't accurate. I've already spoken to the writers who edited the manual, Mr. Jones. One of them still had the report you gave her to work from. Her manual was written accurately to your report."

So it's your fault, you see, he did not have to say.

"Oh, Jesus," Alfred said, putting his head into a hand.

"So I was hoping you might have a good memory. Are you in D.C. by any chance?"

"No, sir, I'm out in the rockies, they're moving NORAD out of Cheyenne, and I had to get my old shi-uh, stuff, and…" he realized the administrator would not care. "...when do you need me there, sir?"

"There's two very expensive research projects on hold while this machine is offline. The sooner the better. I will advise you, I've already spoken to the president about this."

Oh, well, shit.

"Yes sir. I'll leave as soon as I can, sir."

It was a good thing he was right next to an airfield.

Alfred travelled to D.C. and met with the administrator, conference called the engineers, even spoke with the ISS expedition crew as they described to him the errors they'd encountered, but for the life of him, Alfred could not identify any flaws in what he was hearing. He poured over his old notes and the finalized manual, he looked at old images of the machine and new ones sent down by the crew.

He could not make heads or tails of it. Neither could anyone else.

A month and a half later, he returned to Colorado in a flight of shame, and winced whenever he heard his cell phone ring. Over the next year, he flew to Texas, to Florida, to Georgia, back to D.C. He'd even flown to Ohio to speak with the technical writer who'd written the manual, to try to suss out the details of what he could have possibly gotten wrong, but she remembered even less than he did.

He was the only living on Earth being who had a comprehensive understanding of this machine and how it'd been built, and unless he could remember what he'd written down—or not written down—back in the 90s, that damn thing was going to be orbiting the earth as a multi-million dollar piece of space junk for the foreseeable future.

"God," he groaned to himself one night, cracking open a beer and half-listening to the American Idol theme wafting over from the television, "Just my fucking luck."

Solutions, like mistakes, can take some time to uncover.

-----------------------

Peterson AFB, Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA 2009

It was 6 A.M. and somehow Alfred Jones was vertical and conscious, already at his desk and scrolling through his email while he waited for the breakroom black coffee to finish waking him up when his cell phone began to ring. He let it ring a few times and took a long sip of his coffee before he picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Alfred Jones?"

"Yes, who's this, please?"

"Yes, of course, I'm the new Administrator at NASA," the voice chirped merrily at him, "and I've inherited a bear of a problem that I hear you've been the main point of contact for."

Alfred wanted to cry into his coffee.

"It's… very nice to meet you sir, and yes, I'm… I'm afraid so."

"Well I'm hoping you might be willing to humor us one more time, Mr. Jones. If you were able to get your hands on that machine again, do you think you'd be able to fix it?"

Alfred considered it. He'd built the thing, written all the software. The manual and the schematics he'd written were apparently off, but if he could actually break the thing open and see for himself, he was fairly confident he'd be able to crack it.

"I think so, sir, but I was told no one had a copy of that machine, only prototypes and models. The only realone is in Unity."

"Hmm, yes, I'd been told that too," the Administrator said, almost absently. "Mr. Jones, the President tells me that you are a very accomplished pilot, is that true?" Alfred glanced around his office in the NORAD HQ, decorated with old USAF memorabilia, honors, and photographs.

"Yes sir, you could say that," he sipped at his coffee.

"Are you qualified for special missions assignments?"

"I have been in the past." Another sip.

"You ever been to space, Mr. Jones?"

Alfred nearly choked on his coffee. He recovered.

"No sir," he said, suddenly awake. "Why?"

"Would you like to?"

"I'm sorry?" Alfred squeaked. The Administrator seemed to find this funny.

"Old problems sometimes require simple solutions. As you said, the only real machine is two hundred and fifty-four miles above our heads. If your track record is anything to go by, I don't think you'll need much training. The President and the Secretary of Defence have already authorized it, I'm only asking if you'd be comfortable participating in expedition 20. And if you don't mind my saying so, Alfred: you break it, you ought to fix it."

Comfortable participating? Going to space?

"Of course," Alfred said, feeling as though he were floating.

"Good. I'll forward the memo to NORAD shortly. The simulation folks will be expecting you in Houston in three days, it'll be a fast turnaround from there until Launch Day."

"Right," Alfred managed, physically shaking with excitement. "Yes, sir, of course. Um, thank you sir, for the opportunity, I am really so flattered, I can't wait to-"

"Good," said the man happily. "Have a nice day, Mr. Jones, and we'll speak again soon." The line went dead, and Alfred sat there in silence, staring at the screensaver of his computer, which he'd allowed to grow idle. In the black space of the screen, he could see his own dim reflection, the faint outlines of his shoulders and face, the face of… an astronaut?

He fist-pumped the air so hard he nearly knocked over his coffee.

-----------------------

London, England, United Kingdom 2009

Arthur had gotten a cryptic text at 1:03 that morning and hadn't stopped thinking about it since.

Alfred Jones: r u free to skype later today

You: Today as in Tuesday or today as in Wednesday? It's barely past midnight.

Alfred Jones: u still up tho lol. wednesday

You: Wednesday is the Commonwealth meeting, I have very little flexibility. I should be free from 1300–1400 GMT, however. What on earth do you want to Skype for?

Alfred Jones: omg commonwealth! r mattie n jack gonna be ther

You: Matthew and Jack are both here in London, yes.

Alfred Jones: omg say hi to them for me - tell aussie he owes me a coke

You: What?

You: Whatever, it doesn't matter. Why do you want to Skype? I'm very busy.

Alfred Jones: issa surprise, innit?

Arthur had rolled his eyes.

You: I'm too busy for surprises, Jones.

He'd had no response after that, and despite checking his phone every hour on the hour, Alfred remained irritatingly silent. After a solid slate of meetings, the clock was coming up to 1300, and with considerable grumbling, Arthur found himself lugging his computer bag into an empty room in the conference center, even linking his clunky old laptop to an ethernet cable to ensure a reliable connection before opening Skype. He let the screen sit blank while he waited, glaring at Alfred's icon all the while.

At 1309, a call came through, and he jumped at the sound. Quickly adjusting his webcam, he opened the call. Immediately, a slightly grainy but instantly recognizable shot of Alfred Jones came through.

"What the hell happened to your hair?" Arthur found himself asking before Alfred had the chance to say hello.

"What? My hair?" Alfred moved closer to the camera, which seemed to wobble.

"God, it's huge. What did you do? Don't tell me this is some return to the Ferrah Fawcet days, I don't think the ozone layer can handle that." Alfred laughed at this, a big hearty guffaw, and it struck Arthur as odd how his hair clung to its shape amid the movement, not as though suspended in aquanet, but as though Alfred himself were upside down.

Something collided with Alfred's cheek, and he batted it away. It took Arthur a moment to realize what it was.

"Are those your… why are you dogtags…"

"Hmm?"

"Your dogtags are… hovering," At this, Alfred beamed.

"Guess where I am!" His smile was as wide as the sun. Arthur stared at him, looked around him, but there was little to go off of.

"I… have no idea." Now that he was looking, the background around Alfred did seem rather bizarre. Arthur couldn't have said exactly why it was bizarre, only that it was very white, and metallic, and oddly crowded.

"Ta-da!" Alfred exclaimed, extending his arms. Arthur stared.

"Ta-da what?" He asked. Alfred looked above himself, and then at the screen.

"Oh, shit, I guess you can't see. Hold on." He reached out and moved the computer, adjusting the webcam to tilt up. He double-checked the screen. "Okay, there we go. Ta-da!" He said again, spreading his arms once more. Between the "V" of his arms, there was a line of miniature versions of various national flags. The United Kingdom was represented there, as were a good dozen or more others: France, Japan, Belgium, Switzerland, Sweden… and in the center, the United States and Russia.

"Guess where I am!" Alfred said again, grinning so wide he was liable to injure himself.

Arthur frowned at the flags, which did not seem to lay as flags ought to, and at Alfred, who was moving microscopically, almost as if he were floating. His dogtags traveled upwards once more, threatening to bat him in the cheek again.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Arthur heard himself say. "You're not—you're not on the… you can't be on the fucking space station." Alfred looked like he might actually burst. In a higher-pitched squeak than Arthur had heard in eons, Alfred said, still smiling like a lunatic:

"I'm on the International Space Station!"

Arthur stared.

And stared.

Arthur realized his jaw was hanging open, and Alfred was still smiling. He put a hand over his mouth and continued staring.

"Does… does the president know?"

Alfred laughed at that. "Sure he does! He was the one who authorized it. C'mon! I wanna show you around."

And that was how Arthur Kirkland got a personalized tour of the International Space Station. He demanded an explanation, which Alfred gave him in fits and starts as he navigated the narrow, tubular hallways of the complex. That Alfred had helped build and program equipment for some of the original ISS modules came as no particular surprise, and that he had made some mistake back in 1995 that led him to being on the Space Station today was somehow less of a surprise.

"Only you would have incompetence rewarded with something like… like this," he said.

"Hey now! Be nice!"

Arthur was introduced to the crew, Alfred switching between English and Russian without batting an eye as he floated through the various modules, apologizing to other astronauts as he carted his laptop through tight spaces. His crewmates were Russian, American, Canadian, German, and Japanese, and all of them greeted Alfred with smiles when he addressed them in their native tongues.

"Careful, don't tell Mattie about this guy," Alfred said of his Canadian colleague in a loud aside, "He's rooting for the wrong hockey team."

"Hey!"

"Matthew loves all his hockey teams," Arthur retorted loudly enough for the Canadian astronaut to hear. "Don't let this American lunatic tell you differently."

"Aw c'mon, Artie! I gotta have something to argue about up here." Both Arthur and the Canadian laughed.

The tour continued with Alfred's constant commentary, offering overly-complicated and enthusiastic explanations regarding the functions of every computer, doorway, and strip of velcro. Alfred even gave Arthur a demonstration of how he and the rest of the crew slept in space, strapped into their place by a giant vest-like sleeping bag.

"Alright, I've saved the best for last," the space-farer announced.

"Alfred, it's very nearly 1400, I need to be heading back–"

"Yeah, yeah, I know! I know, I really do, just… let me show you this, alright? It'll be worth it, I promise. We're coming up on Europe right about now. It's a clear day over London today, right?"

"Yes," Arthur confirmed, leaning forward in involuntary intrigue. Alfred floated downwards, the webcamera temporarily obscured by his chest. Then, the image erupted into an over-exposed view of the Earth's great curve, the sun's brightness throwing the camera into a tizzy as it focused.

"Here we go," Alfred's smile was evident in his voice. "This is the cupola," he said, as the camera focused on its subject. "Honestly? It's the best module in the whole station."

Sunlight was the first thing Arthur noticed. He was looking at Europe from above, sunlit and sparkling. Iberia and northern Scandinavia were covered in clouds, but the continent from France to Turkey was clear as crystal. Britain shone in the prime yellow of an afternoon sun, and the many lakes and rivers of Finland sparkled like molten gold in a way that no map for ten thousand years had ever been able to capture. Arthur watched, transfixed, as the light of the sun caught the twists and and oxbows of the Volga, and felt his chest swell with emotion.

"Can you see it?" asked Alfred, behind the camera.

"Yes," Arthur told him, quickly wiping away tears so that Alfred wouldn't see if he peeked at the screen. "Yes, I see it all quite well. God, but it's something, isn't it?"

"It's better at night," Alfred told him, voice going soft in its disembodied place. "You can see all the cities, the roads, the connections between places. It's like starlight, but we made it. It's like... even when the sun is gone, we instinctively want to sit among the stars. It's funny, you know," Alfred chuckled, and his voice was unlike anything Arthur had ever heard from him, full of peace and wonder both. "We spend so much time looking up at the stars, I never thought I'd live to see constellations on Earth itself. But they're just as beautiful, you know, as the ones we see at night."

Arthur didn't know what to say, so he covered his mouth quietly and kept staring at the video being funneled into his computer from hundreds of miles above.

"Anyway," Alfred flipped the webcamera around at last, "I wanted to be able to show you," He grinned, lopsided and bright. "I have a lot of work to do up here, but… I thought you should see that. I know space freaks you out, but… it really is quite beautiful." Arthur smiled.

"I know," he said. "Thank you for sharing."

"Arthur?" called a voice outside the empty conference room, accompanied by a loud knock. "We're just about ready to start again, you alright?"

"Yes, Matthew, I'll be right there," Arthur called to him, and turned back to Alfred. "I ought to go," he said.

"Yeah, I know, I'm running out of time on here anyway. Say hi to everyone for me."

"Do any of them know where you are?" Arthur asked, unable to keep his grin at bay. Alfred shrugged.

"It's all been such a whirlwind. I only got tapped a few months ago. No, none of 'em know."

"Shall I tell them?"

"Hmm," Alfred seemed to think about it. "If you do, tell 'em I said that their places all look incredible from up this high. We share a pretty cool planet, ya know."

"That we do," Arthur smiled, appreciating Alfred in such a philosophical mood. "Take some photos for me, will you, love?"

"Already on it," Alfred said. "Not every day a chance like this comes along, you know?"

"I can't believe you're actually there," Arthur chuckled. "Only you would get a ticket to space by doing a poor engineering job."

"Hey!" Alfred defended, "no one had ever built one of those before!"

"My point stands, Alfred Jones," Arthur retorted. "Have a safe trip back. Enjoy your time among the stars." Alfred was all grin.

"You got it," he saluted casually. "See you plant-side, Artie."

-----------------------

That Christmas, most all of Alfred's friends received beautifully framed prints of their homelands, captured in the sparkling lights of the solar system that no cartographer had ever thought to account for: rivers and lakes sparkling, clouded shadows and cresting coastal waves, northern lights twinkling over borders in a way that blurred the lines of politics and human arbitration.

Aim for the moon and you'll land among the stars, the notes all read, but when you reach the stars, you will realize that you've been there all along. There is truly no place like home.

-----------------------

Historical Notes:

1. The ISS was launched in 1998. The first portion of the station, Zarya, was built in Moscow. The first U.S. built module, Unity, was launched and attached to Zarya shortly thereafter. As is indicated, Unity was constructed in Huntsville, Alabama.

2. NORAD, or the North American Aerospace Defense Command, long operated out of the formidable Cheyenne Mountain complex in Colorado. In 2008, its headquarters was relocated to the nearby Peterson Airbase with the mountain fortress thereafter serving as an auxiliary site. It remains so to this day.

3. The Cupola, probably one of the most recognizable places on the entire ISS, is the multi-window observation deck of the station. Though this story takes place in 2009, the Cupola was not actually docked to the ISS until 2010, but I've taken liberties with the timeline for dramatic effect.

[dabi-drift]

Could we have a shy s/o who asks geten out on a date + relationship headcanons please, sorry if this is too much you can pick one or the other if you want✨ btw I love your work, always looking forward to your posts!

Ahh, this was such a cute concept to me! It’s a little longer than usual, and I spent virtually all day on it, so I hope it’s good! And thank youuuu!! That’s awesome, and so appreciated! ^^

Geten’s Shy S/O Asking Him Out:

❈ Your timidity was all-consuming, and really impacted on your social relations. When in a conversation, you'd find yourself unable to look the person in the eyes. Your gaze would drift to the ground, like you didn’t feel worthy enough to even give the illusion of being on their level. A raised head would've sent out the wrong signals. You didn’t want anyone thinking you over-confident, or a narcissist.

❈ Instead, you were seen as a quiet, obedient MLA member, who preferred lone training, but worried incessantly about fighting. After all, that meant interacting with people - something you absolutely did not support.

❈ As such, you'd only spoken with Geten two or three times, in passing. Yet, he was always on your mind. You wanted to extinguish your feelings so, so badly! He was a million times better than you - way out of your league! It was a wonder why you'd ever fallen in the first place. What was the point, when all you'd get was heartbreak?

❈ You were convinced that's all you'd ever get.

❈ But your heart just couldn’t let go.

❈ 3/4 of your word count were probably apologies, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he found you strange.

❈ Surely he wouldn’t want such a shy, soft-spoken partner?

❈ …But you just couldn’t let him go. If you never even tried to court him, he'd find someone else, and it'd destroy you! He was always on your mind, even when he shouldn’t be - you fawned over him, like a desperate fan. He was so strong, so pretty…a violent little cutie. From your rose-tinted perspective, he had no faults.

❈ That fiery attitude might disenchant the average admirer, but at this point, you were a veteran, in way too deep. What you felt…it was infinitely stronger than a crush. It never wavered…never faded.

❈ You had journals full of phrases like "I wish, with the might of all the stars, that you would look at me the way I look at you.", and short pieces proclaiming your love for him. And to really cement this point, you had his name written in hearts. Many hearts. Spanning like,, an entire journal.

❈ You almost worshipped him, as though he were a god, or an entire religion.

❈ …It wasn’t easy, being in love. You were resolved to tell him, but you couldn’t do that in a public area. You'd have to drag him somewhere more private. The thought made you flush. What if he grew suspicious? Or assumed you wanted to hurt him?? Nothing could've been further from the truth. But since you had trouble speaking, and your face would definitely be on fire…he'd be cautious, maybe even angry?

❈ Oh god, you did not want him to be angry! If that happened, you'd chicken out immediately. He'd have you running for the hills, getting the hell out of Deika City and never, ever showing your face there again. And in the worst case, the embarrassment and fear might force you out of Japan. You'd have to change your name, get a new social security number, find a new job and apartment…

❈ Why was it so difficult to confess?? You wanted to be so naturally eloquent with your words, so confident and clever, that he'd be compelled to swoon. You commanded greater mastery over the written word, but you needed to tell him in person. You needed him to hear, to feel the emotion behind them. You had to be taken seriously. You had to try.

❈ So try you did. You managed to catch him as he walked toward one of Deika's many training grounds. You were alone, save for the birds that chirped overhead. The frosty weather bit at your cheeks, but you couldn’t be deterred. Not anymore. It was now or never.

❈ You had the stage, and his full attention. It was so nerve-wracking!

❈ "Geten…! Um, I-I've really admired - uh, liked!...Loved! Yeah…um, I've…for a while now, a-and…I wanted to tell you…! So, uh…if it  i-isn't too much trouble, um…p-please go out with me!"

❈ You stood with a lowered head, uncomfortably basking in the silence that followed. You couldn’t meet his eyes, for fear of seeing an emotion you knew you wouldn’t be able to bear.

❈ "…Go out? Where would we go?"

❈ You looked up, mouth hanging open in shock. A light blush sat atop his cheeks…so he'd understood your feelings, at least.

❈ "U-Uh…it means…um…" Your voice got progressively quieter, as you realised that you had to teach him what a relationship actually was.

❈ "Speak up. You're hard to hear." He huffed, though he didn’t seem angry.

❈ Okay, so I don't have to move countries.

❈ "It's, um…d-d-dating…? It's m-more than friends, like uh…r-romantic…holding hands and k-k-kissing and stuff…!"

❈ He blushed harder, and despite his efforts to hide it under the fur of his Parka, you saw it. There was another round of silence, like he was considering the pros and cons of 'dating' you.

❈ Finally, he reached a decision.

❈ "I guess…I'll 'go out' with you."

& Relationship Headcanons: 

❈ This boy doesn't know a ton about love, so you're gonna have to teach him what it means to: 1) have a partner, and 2) show affection toward said partner. He's never been in a position quite like this before, so he's definitely a slow-starter.

❈ Make no mistake, though - he does love you. And due to both his ideology and strength, he's fiercely loyal and protective. If you have a 'weak' Meta Ability, he'll be a little disappointed (for the future generation, y'know?), but it just means he has to shield you from any and all dangers. It's a responsibility he cherishes. He's never really had to look out for anyone but himself, so it's a nice change of pace.

❈ Initially, he isn't sure about the whole 'dating' and 'lovers' thing. You're still incredibly shy, and whenever he tries to hold your hand, you go bright red and shuffle your feet awkwardly. He'll take that the wrong way.

❈ It takes many, many weeks for you to gather up the courage to ask for a kiss. Geten obliges almost instantly, but hesitates when he sees you shaking.

❈ It's more from excitement than embarrassment, but he doesn't know that.

❈ Of course you're excited! You're finally, finally gonna kiss the boy you love. But you're also nervous. It's your first kiss, after all. You want it to be perfect, but you're scared you're gonna mess up. And if you do, you're worried he'll hate you. If you mess up, you ruin the experience for two people.

❈ So you make 10000% sure he's okay with it, and you make him swear on his life that he won't be mad at you.

❈ He's of the opinion that you can always try again, but in your mind, it's a life or death scenario.

❈ If you take too long, over-think (no doubt you will) or start to falter, he'll just crash your lips together, albeit sloppily. He doesn't care about gentle or rough, messy or clean…as long as you're connected. He'll place one hand on your waist, and pin you to the wall. For someone so inexperienced, his movements gradually get more professional.

❈ In reality, he's researching this for you

❈ You'll snuggle up to Geten during the summer months, because despite his inability to create ice, his body temperature is still quite low.

❈ You get to see him without the Parka. No-one gets to see him without the Parka. Consider yourself a lucky, lucky bastard.

❈ Your shyness won't disappear, but around Geten, you definitely become more composed. After a few months, or even a year, that is. In the beginning, you're nothing but a nervous, stuttering wreck, who can't stand beside him for more than ten seconds without melting.

❈ Oh, you might want those plane tickets after all, because he's gonna find your journals eventually (when he's absolutely head-over-heals in love with you). Don't worry though, he'll think they're cute, and a testament to how amazing you are as a partner.

❈ Honestly, your heart holds so much value to him. He'll never, ever let you give it to someone else. He's whipped - completely, totally…and he isn't afraid to admit it!

❈ Once the PLF is formed, he'll seek you out to join the Violet Regiment (but be in the same room as Dabi, and blood will be shed).

❈ Everyone headcanons him as Geten's biggest romantic rival, and I'm not here to argue with that

❈ He's bad with words, so he'll rely on actions! Just don't expect any PDA (unless he's jealous)!! <3

[remythologise]

Hi!!!!! I've been following you for a while and all your posts about Destiel are pulling me straight back to the fandom. I stopped watching around season 9/10 but your enthusiasm is so awesome and I love seeing all your posts on my dash!!!! I've only watched each episode once, but do you have any favorite episodes to rewatch? And do you have any fic recs? I'm so excited that you're excited, it's so contagious. Thank you for being you and for being so lovely! 😆

HELLO thank you so much I’m so glad to share this happiness with you... the absolute hysteria of the implications of this thing

Favourite episodes to rewatch:

As I’ve linked before, this is a great list of Destiel moments to 14. In terms of my personal favourites that aren’t necessarily Destiel oriented (except that as soon as we get to s7 who am I kidding):

Faith

In My Time of Dying

Tall Tales

What Is and What Should Never Be

Mystery Spot

Lazarus Rising*

On The Head of a Pin

The Rapture

Lucifer Rising

Free To Be You And Me (!)

The End (!!)

Changing Channels

Point of No Return

Swan Song

The French Mistake

The Man Who Would Be King (!!!)

A Little Slice of Kevin

Sacrifice

Heaven Can’t Wait

Meta Fiction

Fan Fiction

First Blood

Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets

The Future

All Along The Watchtower

Lost and Found

The Trap

Despair

*literally any episode with Castiel from here on out and now even MORE SO given the recent Implication of 15.18. Just go to his wiki page lol. Also Season 4-5 really does fuck when it’s plot related wow.

Fic recs:

Ok these are just the fics I’ve read recently, I know there’s a bunch of stuff that was written pre-s7 that isn’t here but I haven’t gone back through my rec lists and evaluated what’s stood up to the test of time. So these are the ones I’ve evaluated on my recent binge over the past year:

Down To Agincourt

I haven’t remotely finished this, I’m reading it right now. Get past the first chapter being purple prosey (this is what kept me back from reading it before this month and MISTAKE) and you’ll be like. What. the. fuck. Incroyable. Over a million words of End-Verse angst and pining but also has humour and some absolutely outstanding writing. Ben Edlund come collect your legacy. The premise is that Dean from s7 post-Cas death gets sent back to the 5.04 world at the moment he left it, and takes over from End-Verse Dean - and starts to fight for a hopeful future. My one caveat is so far there’s been very little mention/concern over Sam but it’s FINE because this is SO GOOD. Technically a WIP but being updated.

Ninety One Whiskey and anything by komodobits (warning A Complete Kingdom is very good but has an unhappy ending).

Don’t know if you’re getting the feeling that I like extremely long fanfic but uh.... frankly if it’s not 300,000 words of pining it’s not a slow burn. After I finished this I literally had one of those moments where I had to lie down and stare into space and by ‘moments’ I mean like a full 24 hours. Life changing. World War II AU that is so artfully rendered and researched that it makes literally anyone who thinks they could be a writer cry.

You Can Keep Holding On and anything by NorthernSparrow

If we hadn’t had SPN go past S5 I’m not sure NorthernSparrow would have gotten into Destiel and that alone is why post s5 SPN deserves rights. Relative to komodobits, always happy endings and fluffy and so on. One of the rare authors who also writes AUs with rights. NorthernSparrow is a... nature academic? Of some kind, and that plays into their fics - lots of references to Castiel’s wings and bird anatomy.

Redemption Road

I’ve literally also not finished this even though I’ve got halfway through it three times now over the past decade slkdfjlskdjflkds SORRY my attention span cuts out when they get together don’t @ me. Variable quality sometimes because they have a team of different writers that came together to write an alternate Season 7, but overall really really good and some of the writers are incredible. Also like love it bc they just flexed on the writing team at SPN so hard with this. Has an alternate epilogue which happened because the writing team disagreed on the ending and had a whole drama (we love group projects) which I believe is better than the original(?), although having not read it to the end I can’t testify to that. 

Ok I simply can’t continue to fill your dash with long descriptions so here’s some more recs in shorter forms, (canon-verse because what’s an AU? I don’t know her) and favourite authors: All Things Shining, The Law of Equivalent Exchange, Dean and Cas’ Top 13 Zepp Traxx, Where the Weeds Take Root, and just for a palate cleanser, the very funny crack fic Broadway Musical. Also some authors who have written a lot of rec-worthy canon-verse fics: aeli_kindara (some SERIOUSLY good and happy fics here), xylodemon, pantheon_of_discord.

My bookmarks folder is currently an unorganised MESS, usually I have things bookmarked on my Diigo but since a) most of these aren’t on there and b) I can’t verify the quality of fics I read before my destiel hiatus, this is the best I got! I’ll update and organise all my destiel bookmarks one day sorry...

[pumpkinpaix]

I realise you were just reblogging, but that millennials vs older gens thread comes across as so smug and excluding and, well, it triggered me. Obviously. I only ever lurk on tumblr despite always having the tab open. I read, I admire, but I don't partake because who wants a 56 year old commenting on their post, right? I've seen people here call women younger than me perverts for still being into fandom, and this idea that we're a generation of no-nothing karens is also so depressing. 1/3

For what it's worth, I'm my family's tech support, including for the millennials and younger members. I build my own gaming PC. (Present tense as I constantly upgrade it whenever I can find the money.) I have no issues with my android phone beyond my poor vision and none at all with my tablet. I've been in fandoms since the early 80s, actively so since Buffy. I've vidded and written millions of words of fanfic. I've been using the internet avidly since the days of IRC, MUDs etc. 2/3

I'm not entirely sure why I'm telling you all this, laying out my tech credentials like they mean anything. Again, I realise you were just reblogging, but that presumably means you agree with the post/comments and see nothing wrong with the exclusionary nature of them, so I guess I just wanted you to know that at least one of your followers found them hurtful. 3/3

hello!! I presume this is about this post here--please let me know if I’ve made a mistake!

I am really, really sorry that I hurt you with that reblog! Please know that I don’t believe at all that people in the generation above me are useless at tech or behind the times, far from it--I know that there are so many people much older than me who have been in fandom for decades longer than I have and have so much more knowledge than I do. I certainly could not build a gaming PC right now, and I came to the internet at a point when it was already user-friendly enough that I could navigate it at age 12. That’s a huge learning curve that I skipped over, as did most of my peers, and I can’t overstate how much I admire the fans who established fandom before the social boom of the internet. That’s dedication and hardship that I never had to go through. older fans have helped me so much, and I’m really angry about the current trend of trying to push them out of the spaces they created. I would not be who I am without the guidance of older fans who helped me through terrible times. it’s unconscionable to exclude them. It was absolutely not my intention with that reblog.

for what it’s worth, I would be happy to have a 56-year-old comment on my posts!! I know that the current zeitgeist is not friendly for older fans, so lurking for your own safety is of course, very understandable, but I am very sorry if you feel like you have to do that, and especially if my reblog of that post reinforced that feeling. 😞

if you would allow me to explain my thought process, I hope I can alleviate some of the hurt?

That post came across my dash in a different format--I think it cut off after the comment from the person who said they were a manager of escape rooms? I didn’t agree with that, so I went into the notes to see if I could find a version that wasn’t just shitting on boomers because I think that the antagonistic millennial vs boomer generation rhetoric is very harmful and really helps no one with its divisiveness. I had hoped that the final comments would have made it clear that I don’t think poorly of boomers in general, and that I don’t think millennials’ sweeping snide attitudes about them are acceptable.

however, I see that that doesn’t address people like you who don’t identify with the conception of boomers as laid out by that post--that there are, indeed, many, many people in your generation that are just as adaptable to the changing times as people think of millennials, and many, many millennials who are in fact, terrible with adaptability and exhibit the same kind of fear of tech that we stereotype of boomers (sorry that sentence was. a bit of a mess, but I hope you understood it). I’m friends with a lot of them!! I myself also am constantly skeeved by changing tech!!! my mom is way more interested in new innovations, whereas I clung to a brick phone almost all the way through college, so like. you know, pot kettle etc.

I might be getting off-track, sorry! the point I’m trying to make is, I apologize for the hurt that I caused you with the reblog, and I’ll try to be more mindful of the encoded exclusionary rhetoric in those posts, even in ones that are presumably defending boomers from the kind of shit that millennials say. one of my biggest regrets in fandom is how few older fans I have connected with. older fans, many (most??) of them boomers, built fandom as we know it, and we tend to forget that. I’m sorry for playing into that, however unintentional.

if I’ve totally missed your point, please, please let me know and I will try to understand!! D: if you’d like to talk in private, my dms are open, or if you’d prefer the ask format, I can keep those private as well (but there are the accursed character limits). all I can say is, I hope i haven’t lost your trust because of this, and that I will do my best not to do it again. 🙇🏻‍♀️ thank you for telling me how you felt, I very much appreciate it, and I hope we can talk again!! 💛

[obtusemedia]

Ranking Lady Gaga's albums, from worst to best

Being a Lady Gaga fan can be an exercise in frustration.

Gaga is far more ambitious than most popstars — I doubt we’ll ever see Ariana Grande or Ed Sheeran make an album as left-field as Born This Way or ARTPOP. But she's also far less consistent, with numerous misbegotten projects.

Gaga's undeniably successful, with five #1 hits, an Oscar and multiple iconic music videos to her name. But her messy album rollouts and tradition of underperforming lead singles make her feel like an underdog compared to the more polished, precise careers of her contemporaries like Taylor Swift, Beyoncé or Bruno Mars.

Gaga is kind of a mess. But she's our mess. This album ranking will cover some records I can't stand — albums that make me constantly hit the fast-forward button, or albums I ignore altogether. But there isn't a single record on here that wasn't a bold move. Even the "back to basics" albums made strong aesthetic choices.

So let's dive into the career of the most fascinating Millennial popstar.

#8: Cheek To Cheek (2014)

This really shouldn't count. It's a Lady Gaga album in name only. But, technically it's a Gaga album, so here we are.

I've got nothing against Gaga having fun playing Rat Pack-era dress-up with Tony Bennett. She's a theatre kid at heart, and I'm sure every theatre kid would kill to make a Great American Songbook covers record like this. It sounds like she and Tony enjoyed themselves, so I'm happy for them!

...but I'm sorry. I can't be objective about Cheek To Cheek, it's the opposite of my taste. There's only so many bland lounge ballads I can take.

BEST SONGS: I have to pick one? "Anything Goes" is cute, I guess.

WORST SONG: "Sophisticated Lady"

#7: A Star Is Born (2018)

Let me first make this clear — A Star Is Born, the movie starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga? It's a masterpiece. It's electrifying and tragic and I'm still upset it didn't sweep the Oscars that year. There's even a cute dog! You won't hear me say a bad word about it.

But A Star Is Born, the accompanying soundtrack? It's extremely hit-and-miss.

Yes, it includes arguably Gaga's best-ever song and one of the greatest movie hits ever written, "Shallow." And there's plenty of other great tunes in the tracklist too — "Always Remember Us This Way," "I'll Never Love Again," the "La Vie En Rose" cover.

Even the country-rock songs from Bradley Cooper (who, reminder, is not a professional singer) are mostly good! "Black Eyes" RIPS, and "Maybe It's Time" feels like a long-lost classic.

But sadly, there are so many mediocre filler tracks on this thing. The second half of A Star Is Born's hour-plus runtime (Gaga's longest!) is padded with generic songs like "Look What I've Found," "Heal Me" and "I Don't Know What Love Is." The only good one out of the bunch is the silly, intentionally-bad "Why Did You Do That?"

In the movie, these filler tracks serve a point – they're meant to show Gaga's character selling out. They work in the movie when you hear them for a few seconds and see Cooper make a drunkly disappointed scowl. But I don't want to listen to them, and sadly, they make up half the album.

In other words — A Star Is Born would've made an incredible six or seven-song EP. But as an 63-minute-long record? It's a slog.

BEST SONGS: "Shallow", "Always Remember Us This Way," "Maybe It's Time"

WORST SONG: "Heal Me"

#6: Joanne (2016)

After Born This Way and ARTPOP, I get why Gaga needed to make a more lowkey, back-to-basics album. I also understand that many of these songs have extremely personal lyrics for her.

But is a down-to-earth album what I really want from our most outré popstar? Not really.

Luckily, Joanne is better than that description suggests. Yes, there are some bland acoustic ballads and awkward hippie-era throwbacks (two styles that are really not in Gaga's wheelhouse), but there's also some Springsteen-style heartland rockers! And those go hard in the paint.

Joanne works best when Gaga works the record's dusty aesthetics into her brand of weirdo pop, like on the sizzling "John Wayne," the winking "A-YO" or the delightfully extra Florence Welch duet "Hey Girl."

The record also has "Perfect Illusion" — a glorious red herring of a lead single that sounds nothing like anything else on Joanne. It's a roided-up mixture of woozy Tame Impala production and hair metal histrionics, and it rules. It might be Gaga's best-ever lead single! (at the very least, it's her most underrated.)

And there is one slow tune that's unambiguously great: "Million Reasons," another solid Gaga lighters-in-the-air power ballad pastiche.

Despite what some Little Monsters may tell you, Joanne isn't a disaster. There's some great stuff in there, and even the worst songs are just forgettable. But it's still far from her best.

BEST SONGS: "Perfect Illusion," "Diamond Heart," "Million Reasons"

WORST SONG: "Come To Mama"

#5: Chromatica (2020)

When Chromatica was released near the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, it had been seven years since Gaga had released music in her classic gonzo-synthpop vein. I can easily picture the record serving as an "ugh fine, I'll give you what you want" response to the many Little Monsters annoyed with Gaga's half-decade of folksy ballads and Julie Andrews cosplay.

I'll say this about Chromatica — outside of The Fame Monster, it's her most consistent record. There's not a single track that's a glaring mistake. And the three singles — "Stupid Love," "911" and the triumphant Ariana Grande duet "Rain On Me" — easily stand among her best tracks.

But although "all bangers, no ballads" album sounds rad in theory, it doesn't really succeed in practice. Chromatica is solid, but it's also a very same-y record. It feels like Gaga had one really great idea for the album ('90s club music with super-depressing lyrics) and repeated it over and over and over again to diminishing results.

There are some songs that are able to separate themselves: the three singles, of course, as well as the goofy "Babylon" and "Sine From Above," the Elton John duet that's the closest Chromatica gets to a ballad. But by the end of the album, you feel more worn out than electrified.

Also — and this is probably unfair, but still — Chromatica came out just a couple months after another retro-dance blockbuster pop album: Dua Lipa's magnum opus, Future Nostalgia. That's not a flattering comparison.

BEST SONGS: "Rain On Me," "Stupid Love," "911"

WORST SONG: "1000 Doves"

#4: The Fame (2008)

Out of all of Gaga's records, The Fame is most like a time capsule. It REEKS of late '00s/early '10s pop — which isn't an entirely fair criticism, seeing as Gaga popularized that era's sleazy, synthy aesthetic. It's also not a bad thing! I don't mind a little nostalgia!

As you already know, The Fame's singles are masterworks. "Just Dance," "Poker Face," "Paparazzi" — these tracks have titanic legacies for good reason. And although it's probably the least-beloved of this album's hits, despite being a total banger, "LoveGame" should still be commended for having arguably the most Gaga lyric ever (you know, the "disco stick" line).

And even though those tracks are front-loaded on The Fame, there are some gems deeper in the tracklist. "Summerboy" is basically Gwen Stefani covering The Strokes (so obviously, it's great). "Eh, Eh" is adorable. "Starstruck" is the most 2008 song ever recorded, with aggressive Auto-Tune and Flo Rida showing up to make Starbucks jokes.

Sadly, The Fame still feels like Gaga before she became fully-formed at certain points. The back half has a number of songs that feel like generic club tracks forced by the label, and "Paper Gangsta" is one of the clunkiest songs in Gaga's catalogue.

But at the very least, the bad songs on The Fame at least serve as little nostalgia bombs for that era of pop. And the best songs are untouchable classics.

BEST SONGS: "Paparazzi," "Just Dance," "Summerboy"

WORST SONG: "Paper Gangsta"

#3: ARTPOP (2013)

For much of Gaga's career, she's been ahead of the curve. She tries something, and a year or a few years later, other popstars try something similar to diminishing results.

That doesn't just apply to the successful stuff, like Gaga's extravagant music videos inspiring many copycats from 2010-2013. It also applies to the mid-late '10s trend of legacy popstars making a controversial record with risky aesthetic or lyrical choices that backfired: reputation. Witness. Man of The Woods.

Gaga did this first, with ARTPOP — arguably the most abrasive, and bizzare major label album released by a major modern popstar. And she did it better, because unlike Swift, Perry and Timberlake, Gaga's weirdness was for real. And it was in service of some prime, hyper-aggressive bangers.

ARTPOP isn't Gaga's best work — some of her experiments on it are major misfires, from the obnoxious "Mary Jane Holland" to the bland Born This Way leftover (and Romani slur-utilizing) "Gypsy."

But when ARTPOP is on, it's ON. The opening stretch in particular, from "Aura" to "Venus" to "G.U.Y." to "Sexxx Dreams," is chaotic synthpop at its finest. Those songs took Gaga's classic sound to an apocalyptic, demented extreme, and they're fantastic.

"MANiCURE" is a great glam-rock banger, "Dope" is another classic Gaga piano ballad, the title track is some sikly-smooth dreampop; even the misguided, clunky trap anthem "Jewels N' Drugs" is bad in a hilarious, charming way!

Trust me: ARTPOP will go down in history not as a flop, but as a gutsy, underrated record from a legend. Less Witness, more In Utero.

BEST SONGS: "G.U.Y.," "Venus," "Sexxx Dreams"

WORST SONG: "Gypsy"

#2: The Fame Monster (2009)

Objectively speaking, this is probably the best Gaga album.

It's her one record with no fluff, no filler — only 34 minutes and 8 tracks, all of them stellar.

It's the record that took Gaga from "wow, this new woman is a fresh new face in pop!" to "this woman IS pop."

It's the record with her signature track, "Bad Romance," which was accompanied by arguably the greatest music video of the 21st Century. (It also has my absolute favorite Gaga track, the relentlessly catchy "Telephone.")

I don't think I need to explain what makes mega-smashes "Bad Romance" and "Telephone" and "Alejandro" great, nor the accompanying legendary deep cuts "Speechless" and "Dance In The Dark." They speak for themselves.

However — the sleek, calculated perfection of The Fame Monster, while incredible, isn't something I return to often. It's just not the side of Gaga that's my favorite. That honor would have to go to...

BEST SONGS: "Telephone," "Dance In The Dark," "Bad Romance"

WORST SONG: "So Happy I Could Die" (but it's still pretty solid)

#1: Born This Way (2011)

One of my favorite podcasts is Blank Check. The concept of the show is to analyze each movie by a famous director — in particular, those who had big success early on and then got a blank check to make whatever crazy passion project they wanted. Here's a great example: because Batman was a massive hit, Tim Burton got to make whatever Hot Topic-core movies he wanted to for decades, from Edward Scissorhands to a creepy Willy Wonka remake.

That long-winded tangent is just to say: Born This Way was Lady Gaga's blank check. By early 2011, she had conquered the pop universe, notching hit after hit after hit. Every other pop star was copying her quirky music videos. So the label let Gaga do whatever she wanted — and she didn't waste that opportunity.

Born This Way is wildly overproduced. It's both extremely trend-chasing (those synths were cutting edge at the time but charmingly dated now), but also deeply uncaring about what the teens want (I don't think Springsteen and Queen homages were big at the time). And I love every messy, overblown second of it.

From the hair-metal/synthpop hybrid opener "Marry The Night" to the majestic '80s power ballad "The Edge of Glory," Born This Way starts at an 11. And Gaga never takes her foot off the pedal for the album's entire hour-plus run time. Clanging electric guitars, thunderous synths and Clarence Clemons (!!!) sax solos collide into each other as Gaga champions every misfit and loser in the world. It's gloriously corny in the best way possible.

Born This Way is also the perfect middle ground of pop-savvy Gaga and gonzo Gaga. It doesn't go quite as hard as ARTPOP, but the hooks are stronger. And the oddball moments are tons of fun, from the sci-fi biker anthem "Highway Unicorn" to the goofy presidential-sex banger "Government Hooker" ("Put your hands on me/John F. Kennedy" might be the greatest line in pop history).

Born This Way will always be my favorite Gaga album. It's armed with nuclear-grade hooks, slamming beats, and soaring anthems. Although it's not as untouchably pristine as the Mt. Rushmore of '10s pop classics (for the record, that's 1989, EMOTION, Lemonade and, of course, Melodrama), Gaga isn't best served by meticulousness. She's proudly tacky and histrionic, and so that's what makes Born This Way an utter joy.

BEST SONGS: "The Edge of Glory," "You and I," "Marry The Night"

WORST SONG: "Bloody Mary"

[acciocriativity]

The First Meeting ||Harry Potter

Pairing: Harry Potter x You

Summary: Your life takes a 360º turn when you discover that you are a witch and that you are going to study and live in a world completely different from yours. In the midst of so much change, you meet a boy who is feeling the same. 

 

Word Count: 2.4k

N / A: This is the first fanfic that I am posting on Tumblr, so it would be very important to me if you leave your opinion here and also English it's not my first language, if I made a mistake, I'll like to know and correct it.

 The day started rainy, which is not surprising considering that I am in England, more specifically in the city of London. However, I, as an immigrant from hot lands, consider rainy days bad luck, because something always happens wrong. 

And to my despair, today was supposed to be perfect. 

It was only a month ago that I discovered to be a witch and for my happiness, it has nothing to do with pointy noses and pure evil. Apparently the only similarity is the hats, since in the two moments I was around real wizards, I saw several people wearing them.

 My family, for the most part, being a completely devout Catholic, did not accept my new reality so well, not to say it was hell on Earth. In short, if I went, I wouldn't be able to set foot in the house again, as they weren't going to house a sinful witch. 

That bearded gentleman was kind enough to help me find another place to stay, while my parents would think better of it. Although I was unable to thank him or at least speak after being expelled from my home, or old home.

 

I've been staying at the Leaky Cauldron ever since, but because of the latest events in my life, I just went out to buy the materials. Being a witch had cost me a lot and I wasn't ready to face that until yesterday. It took me a long time to decide whether to go to Hogwarts or not, but now the certainty that I made the right choice was growing in my chest. 

 Right after having breakfast at one of the bar tables, I waited seated by the person in charge who would accompany me to Kings Cross station, where I was supposed to catch a train. I knew about it the same day that I discovered the magical world but only today I was anxious for that. I must admit that I imagined that we would fly, obviously all the stories lied to all the non-magical children on Earth.  

A few minutes later, a man in a turban appeared through the door and walked towards me, his expression showing no particular emotion when entering or even seeing me sitting, but what scared me was the fragility and fear in his voice.

- Miss Garcia, good morning, are you ready to leave? - He leaned on one leg while looking around worriedly. 

- Yes sir .. is everything ok ?? The bathroom is on that side - I knew it was inconvenient but I couldn't hold my curiosity as I watched his expression change.

- It will be a short trip but we must go now, to not risk losing the train, let's go - his posture was suddenly rigid and his face looked shaken but this time, I kept my thoughts to myself.

 At least he was kind enough to help me with the two suitcases, which were quite heavy due to the amount of books that were inside, I got some History of Magic extra books to learn more about that world. 

And he was not wrong, the path was fast despite the light rain and wet streets. We didn't talk beyond the formalities, I just found out that he is one of my teachers that year, Professor Quirrel and nothing else.

As soon as my feet took a step into the station, the man said goodbye with a nod and left to go his own way with a weird expression, but I didn't care about that for more than 2 seconds. 

I took a deep breath and started to walk following the small crowd of people who would possibly go to work in another city, since I didn't know the way to the platforms. Honestly, I didn't think it would work until I saw the license plate numbers, and I quickly hurried on, because mine was ahead. 

- 7 ... 8 ... 9 ... 10 ?? - I stopped walking at the same moment I realized that mistake, there was nothing between 9 and 10 - I don't believe it ... 

 I stood leaning against a wall looking around as if looking for someone, but in fact I wanted to find a miracle or at least an angel who could tell me what to do in that situation. 

Millions of thoughts crossed my mind within 2 minutes, most of them negative, until something drew attention out of my despair, or rather, someone. A red hair had just gone through the wall, it was so fast I could hardly believe my own eyes. 

Two more people did the same before I managed to close my mouth and walk over there, in shaky, uncertain steps. They hadn't noticed me and I thanked them mentally for it, because I wouldn't be able to pronounce a single right word. The good news is that they were certainly wizards, by the way they dressed and the most logical conclusion is that they would know the right way. 

 I waited for everyone to cross to get closer to that wall, I couldn't hear the conversation but I noticed that the right way to enter is to run. Again I took a deep breath and looked around to see if anyone was noticing me, with the station full, my answer came as a quick no. 

 I closed my eyes and ran about three short steps until I felt a sensation unlike anything I had felt so far. The stone wall seemed to have turned into a wind wall and I easily managed to get to the other side. I immediately opened my eyes after hearing the sound of a train and when looking to the side, there he was. The Hogwarts Express was written right in front of the locomotive.  

 It only took me 10 seconds to notice the difference, the clothes were definitely different and there was an absurd amount of children and teenagers, as I was walking closer to the train entrance, more people were showing up, in a way I didn't know how to explain.  

 The trip was smooth to Hogwarts, I found an empty car as soon as I arrived but soon the seats were being filled and I ended up sharing my cabin with two more girls, I soon noticed that they were sisters and that was the initial topic of our conversation. They were nice and helped me get into the current context of the wizarding world, explaining the basics about Hogwarts as well. 

- And he's here, the boy who defeated you-know-who's going to study with us! - the oldest of the brunettes spoke excitedly with a huge smile on her face. 

- One of my friends told me earlier that she met him in the hall, what is he like? - the youngest asked even knowing that none of us would know the answer. 

 This topic remained for a while, until they decided to take a walk on the train while I read, enjoying some quiet time. Honestly, I wouldn't like to be in this boy's shoes, not only because of the tragedies in his life, but also because of the amount of attention, comments and theories about him.

But I cannot deny it, I would like to meet him, who would not be curious after everything that was being commented on? 

 People got in and out of the car where I was sitting and I tried to have a decent conversation with everyone, but then when two older students came to tell us that we should change clothes, as we were arriving. I preferred to wait because a hurried crowd of students wanted to go first, so I ended up being one of the last to get dressed, but one of the first to leave the train. 

 All the way the view had been impressive but nothing had prepared me for the vision I had when I approached the lake, where we were supposed to go. It was dark and it wasn't raining, the moonlight reflected on the water of the Black Lake like a mirror and I was almost sad to see that we were going to cross by boat, because that image would be blurry. 

I could only see the outline of the huge castle on the other side, but it was enough to see all the splendor of that place and for a few seconds I was paralyzed absorbing the beauty of everything around me, until a voice brought me to reality. 

- Only 4 people on each boat, kids! - I glanced at the giant man, who was talking animatedly to some students, before I sat down in an empty space.

 As soon as we reached the other side, we gathered in a small group on the castle entrance stairs to hear one of the teachers. I remained behind and silent as I was paying attention, until I saw someone passing by and right after I felt a foot stepping on top of mine for several seconds. 

- Hey! Can't you see I'm here ?? - I said indignantly but as low as possible looking at the red-haired boy beside me.

- I ... I'm sorry, I didn't see you - he replied without even looking at me, his face turning as red as the color of his hair.

 I thought about replying but as the teacher was still talking, I just preferred to nod, accepting the apology. Only then did I realize that I caught the attention of two more students, a curly haired girl who cast a disapproving look at the redhead but smiled at me gently and at another dark haired boy, who noticed my gaze and shifted his look to the other side immediately. 

 It didn't take more than 15 minutes before we were inside that incredible hall, instead of a concrete ceiling just like outside, above my head was the most beautiful starry sky I have ever had the pleasure of seeing, with floating candles to complete the view. To my relief, it didn't seem like a common thing for most first year students, who talked quietly among themselves so I didn't look like an idiot admiring alone. 

We were instructed to stay in a queue, I had no idea what was going to happen so I was distracted looking at the stars, which never seemed so achievable until that moment. I wish I could go up there and take at least one, but it would be impossible. 

 We walked slowly until we stopped in front of the other students, who were spread out over 4 tables, my eyes never left the illuminated sky and as a result, I didn't notice that I was too close to the boy in front of me.

I got my first embarrassing moment of the year in less than 10 minutes, because I stepped on the cover of the boy in front of me. All the consequences of that went by very quickly before my eyes. In a second I was out of balance and fell, but that's not the worst part. I accidentally pulled his cloak back, the boy fell out of balance and fell with me, his back to me. It hurts, too much. No more than the weight of my humiliation and shame, but it still hurts.

 My face took on a pinkish tinge as I silently prayed that no one noticed, but that's not what happened. Today was definitely not my lucky day. I could hear half the room laughing and half whispering, so I knew for sure that I had made a big impression on people and a bigger one on the Hogwarts floor. 

- Sorry ... I was distracted - I spoke as quietly as possible looking at the ceiling and again at him.

 He didn't look at me for more than 2 seconds before looking away in that same direction and back to me again. His nod was minimal but noticeable and he soon stood up, which I had forgotten to do in those few seconds.

 What surprised me more than anything in the last month was his hand extended to help me, it didn't take me long to accept the help and so I got up and straightened my clothes trying not to show shock. This was an act of kindness that I couldn't expect from my brothers, considering how angry they would be in a situation like this, but other than shame, I couldn't see a hint of anger in his green eyes. 

- I'm really sorry ... - I said again, loud enough that only he could hear me. 

 The director had called everyone's attention, so most had stopped laughing although that redhead from before just stopped after the mini punch that the brunette gave him. 

- It's okay, it will just be another reason for people to talk about me behind my back - he gave me another small smile on the side but his tone was not the happiest. 

- And why?? I don't know who you are - I was curious because I had not met anyone important in the magical world until then.

 I could see a flash of surprise in his expression but before he could answer me, the names started to be called and little by little the children walked to the stool, where the hat was placed on their heads. After that he didn't answer me, no one else had the courage to say a word because they were very anxious to get their turn and also curious, like me, to know which house the famous Harry Potter would go to. 

- Potter, Harry - called the teacher with a serious but serene expression and a different look in her eyes. 

 From then on, the students' not-so-low whispers started again and I, who was already at the Hufflepuff table, could only be surprised to notice that the boy I dragged to my shame was actually Harry Potter himself. I didn't have the courage to look at him for more than 5 seconds, because again the embarrassment consumed me but this time harder. I only looked at him again when the Gryffindor table radiated in cheers and laughter as soon as he was drawn there and then our eyes met for the last time that night.

Harry Potter Masterlist