#I've never had this many followers
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Fair warning: I don't think this is going to be a question, just a few post-latest chapter thoughts haphazardly stacked together under a trenchcoat.
Thank you for this chapter. It made my day to read something almost fluffy (I don't think anything in LH can be called purely fluff, and that's a good thing because fluff is best when it is padding for the plot, and that's what this chapter was).
LH Book 5 has been the beginning of payoff for the Dramione slow burn, and while that is immensely satisfying, it also means there are less milestones to look forward to. I don't know if this was an intentional decision, but I love how you started seeding in another slow burn that has kept us equally invested: the Black family drama.
I love reading anything that does the dysfunctional family dynamic well, and seeing Draco getting old enough to identify it clearly, have questions, testing his boundaries, fighting back against what he's been told to accept, has all been immensely satisfying as someone who has gone through this myself. Your depiction of the Black family dynamics has been /chef's kiss/. * spoiler for chapter 70 * when Draco witnesses his cousins casually throwing information his way, what I wanted was for one of the adults to see how much he needed that information, that connection, and give it to him. My god ❤️ You have written a lonely boy craving family so well.
Back to the Dramione of it all (and this might be a question), I love how Harry chose to approach the contained chaos waiting to unravel around him and just bluntly told Draco what he did. Question: do you think this is something Canon Harry would have done in this instance? Was there a choice to change anything in your characterisation of Harry (with respect to Canon) that resulted in this wonderful, blunt, more-mature-than-many-adults-who-can't-even-identify-their-needs version of Harry?
If not, what canon Harry actions/traits do you think would point to him acting this way?
Thank you! This is a beautiful and very kind trench coat, and I am luxuriating in it.
I will answer your question while continuing to luxuriate: I don't think canon Harry would ever confront his friends about an emotional problem, mostly because because he never does. Hermione and Ron, the two people he's most comfortable with in the world, are feuding for most of HBP, and while he does have a few "can't you guys just get along?" type-outbursts, he doesn't really sit down and ask "hey, what's going on with you? How can I help?" because canon!Harry is, as you might expect for a 15-year-old boy, better at ignoring his problems than solving them. (I also think there's an ingredient of conflict-avoidance in there from his upbringing with the Dursleys, but I'll be the first to admit that's mostly headcanon.)
My Harry is a bit softer — in part because that's just how I prefer my Harry, my favorite scenes with him are those where he's showing tenderness for things other people have neglected. This is the best of him, and this is the core of him, in my opinion. Canon Harry has this marvelous capacity for empathy, and when he chooses to use it, it's kind of astonishing how capable he is of resisting prejudice and caring for people. He's fiercely loyal in defending Hagrid, always. He makes a point of freeing Dobby, who's just spent a book trying to maim him. He refuses to let Sirius kill Pettigrew, even knowing that Pettigrew betrayed his parents ("My dad wouldn't want you to" — sweet boy, you mean you don't want them to, and you understand on some level that's the only thing you can say that will stop them.) He saves Gabrielle Delacour, because even if she would have been safe in the end, he's not leaving a little girl at the bottom of a fucking lake. He reads the Half-Blood Prince's handwriting — Snape's handwriting — and thinks: "I bet he's someone like me." On the basis of handwriting, he empathizes with this person! Harry is constantly trying to save people, and he doesn't ever really tell us why. And we'll never know why canon!Harry does that, consciously or subconsciously, but I have to imagine that every time Harry looks at someone in pain, he sees a lonely kid stuck under a staircase, and he thinks not fucking today.
#the emotional maturity — such as it is — I attribute to having more of mrs weasley's influence#in that lionheart takes him away from the dursleys and basically never sends him back#i don't think lionheart!molly would let it happen and lionheart!sirius certainly wouldn't#this is not criticism of the original — I've said many times that the early HP books are weird because they're children's books#so stuff like. child neglect. for instance. isn't treated That Seriously#because why on earth would it be it's a children's book!#and we ignore things like that in children's books because we don't take any of it#THAT seriously. except then you have to retroactively frame#harry's past as a realistic adult figure in the later books#and then it all sort of fractures. tonally speaking.#so the only thing I would claim lionheart has in that respect is the benefit of foresight#in knowing that there are going to be 7 books and they are going to explore#these characters as adults. that's all!#which is my ultimate justification of: i think this is what harry would have been#if the author had known that the books were going to follow him into adulthood#and had wanted to set up the man that harry purports to be in Book 7 a little earlier. that's all!#lionheart spoilers#lionheart#greenteacup asks
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Omg your instagram story is so right! I can’t believe I’ve never even noticed that, probably because in fanon keith and shiro are so close that I’d forgotten that isn’t canon :0
Deserves this awesome quote which I had to dig out of my sideblog reblogs
#for context - i was complaining how under-served we were to listen how much shiro did for keith and how amazing their relationship is#and then were forced to watch him just recruit him for school and be a decent teacher#like any teacher should#i mean....#any.#like he was just showing basic decency for not throwing Keith away for bad behavior#keith acted as if that man hung the moon#as if he was reliable... took a few punches that were meant for Keith ....risked something for him#wanted to give up his liver or something#gave up his last food in the apocalypse to feed him i dont fucking know#Keith acted as if that guy literally saved his life and we got scenes where Shiro is emotionally manipulating him to stay in school#or to become a leader#never really asking how he feels about it or if he needs help#i thought twice before saying Keith attached to a pile of shit because it was warm#but not thrice#i've re-watched season 1 of Arcane and was so mad about it i couldn't hold it in djdjdjd#i do think they could have a good relationship but what we were /shown/ was just not it too many plot holes to fill#love that the fandom can fill the discrepancies and rewrite those relationships though#and also i was really glad people answered to that story agreeing#i was feeling weird reading all those 'keith and shiro are my fav relationship in the show'#...lance was more warm to the mice than Shiro to Keith '#i feel like it owuld make more sense to me if keith did all of this WHILE being pissed at Shiro for leaving him#or if we saw he finds him unreliable - Shiro was only useful to him as long as Keith followed his rules too#Vander doing all he did for his daughters that shit was unconditional fucking love#vi and jinx never being able to off one another had more raw pure love than that#you know what i mean??? sorry im doing it again.... end of ramble#mezzy out 💀
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ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)
so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.
anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)
If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.
To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.
The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.
I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.
so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you
#wow! that was crazy!!!! at least this is the neurotic overthinking website#so i hope you can not neurotically overthink what you did to make me unfollow you. and instead rest in our mutual finitude#the other day i had the experience of clarifying with a friend that i'm her best friend but she's not mine. in almost so many words.#(she asked who i'm closest to and i named a couple people here and away. then i asked her and she named a couple people and me)#she got teary but didn't have an anxiety meltdown which is huge progress for her! and we kind of acknowledged the difficulty and moved on#and kept hanging out and texting and loving each other#super weird experience but kind of like a lightning bolt of realizing things i've been intending for a while#we have to give each other the dignity of making choices even when the choices aren't each other. on a social level#we have a higher calling! all of us do! it sucks when the social stuff gets weird but we shouldn't let the weirdness distract from the call#and frankly once you start choosing the call over the world then the world's structures stop being at all compelling#for a neutral tool tumblr can be quite amazingly powerful for the Lord#but it is of the world and runs on some lies and i've hit a breaking point where i needed to confront those lies before i kept going#anyway. the point is. I LOVE YOU. and God has told me I have more urgent loves right now.#what an insane post to be making !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh wait edit to add! just to be clear i'm not trying to say don't message/reply/send stuff to me!#if i have to set a boundary i will but things are fine. just needing to reduce the dashboard noise#i highly recommend setting online boundaries btw. it's so much easier than stewing and stressing and wondering if blocking is justified#to just message someone and say ''hey you're doing nothing wrong but this way of interacting bugs me so please stop''#(which i've done only to followers never to people i follow. yet.)
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see, ppl can say what they want about the resi 3 remake, but the remake got Mikhail perfect. Also i actually really love weird Puppy Nemesis lmao
#GET OFF OF HIS TRAIN SHITBIRD#ilu grandpa you did your best#I think the remake is fine#there's parts of the original I miss a ton#and parts I am glad are gone#mostly I'm just confused by the rose colored glasses everyone remembers wrt a nemesis that doesn't exist#he was never a random stalker he always had scripted spawns and due to the ps1 limitations the “random” was down to two or three options#with that said re3 remake coming off the heels of re7 with pretty good stalkers like jack and margeurite#and then directly off the heels of re2 with one of the best programmed game stalkers i've ever seen#he's a letdown for sure#I loved the pre-release rumors saying nemesis would chase you into safe rooms#that should have been a real thing#Oh wow is it really time for our regularly scheduled resident evil obsessing??#I wanted to name Nikolai after Mikhail but mercury spatted me with a newspaper and told me I had too many M names#I have had this fondness for hero grandpa for a long time okay#anyway I know that absolutely no one follows me for resident evil so lmao ignore my rambling#it's fine though#because no matter if you follow me for solivaga or homestuck :)#I've fed you resident evil no matter what#what do you mean parts of the harley manor are inspired by the spencer mansion!?#HAHA GOT'EM#what do you mean there's a ton of resident evil refs in soli#RAT STRIKES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ponee (It is half 3 in the morning)
#hey she didn't actually come out too bad!#I didn't show the last time I tried to draw Sunny but it didn't look great ehe ^^;#I think Ponies are gonna have to be a digital art only thing for now cause I had the select and drag so many elements of this#to make this look right sahsdhdshsdh#Yeah despite liking ponies since I've became a conscious thing I never drew them a bunch#and well. that's because I didn't start drawing properly until I was like. 11 years old. and I was super into something else then ehe ^^;#Sorry to get personal in the tags of an mlp art thing but I do think about how I always wanted to draw but like.#I was such a chronic perfectionist as a little little kid??? I HATED everything I tried to make XD#It makes me a little sad yknow? cause like. most kids don't give a shit they just draw whatever and it's beautiful and amazing#it makes me sad that I didn't allow myself to have that! I worked backwards IG lmao#little 6 year old hating everything she tried to make for not being perfect to me now where I love when my art is full of imperfections#that's the point of art!!! Have fun!!! It doesn't need to be perfect or even “good”!#because art is about expression yknow? and drawing stuff you like!#sorry this only took like an hour this should be on a more high-effort drawing sdhdhdshsd#Also um hi to the person who followed me for MLP G5 art?? I mostly post about puters and Ultrakill and Rain World here#But I do really love ponies I need to draw them more often XD#this is my whatever blog. I post whatever interests me here hehe#MLP#MLP G5#Android Arts#Android.txt
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I wonder if the reason why I tend to get overlooked as an LU writer is because I tend to write for Wild and Hyrule and not the "cool" Links like Legend, Warriors, Time or Four.
#what I mean is that anytime someone makes a “fanfiction authors to check out/follow” list I'm never on it#and anytime someone makes a “recommended fics” list none of my fics are ever on it#(to be fair many of my fics are unfinished multichapters)#I don't get tagged in writer posts when all my other writer friends do get tagged#I've never had fanart except what I've made myself for my own fics#and I also have the Curse of Always Being Overlooked in my in-person life and apparently that extends to online life as well#while I do generally like going under the radar it's annoying to be literally invisible all the time forever#I'm not a big blog (if you saw my follower count you'd know I'm not one) and I don't want to be#but sometimes it would be nice if people stopped forgetting I am actually a writer too
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HOLY SHIT I CANNOT THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH!! HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN??!
I'm so sad because if I had more free time I would've written a little 'something' to celebrate but I'm so swamped with assignments rn :(
Thank you guys so much!! I'm so glad you all enjoy my silly little writings!
Maybe I should host a poll to see which one of my WIPS you guys want next? Idk, I'll have a think about what I can do.
#I've never had this many followed on an account before#lowkey shitting myself#can't believe people read the bullshit I write#hazbin hotel
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I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.
First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.
Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.
Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.
#pickle pontificates#mission to zyxx#if you freaking flip on episode 1 after reading this and are like. wow. they're talking a lot about butts and ejecting people into space.#what is pickle on about#well. sue me i guess. idk#I have a lot of feelings about this as a general topic so this is moreso just the most recent thing that's touched on it for me#okay so time for essay 2 in the tags#1. I don't really talk about TAZ on here but it's something I carry with me whenever I think about this kind of thing#I think that in the same vein as MTZ it started off very goofy and directionless and then gave me more emotions than I thought it would#and it's not perfect but balance was a cultural landmark in a lot of ways#i enjoyed amnesty but it didn't have the same spark. what drew me to balance was all the goofy improvisation#and the fact that it was never serious until it was#amnesty (although i loved the setting/concept and enjoyed the characters) crossed the line into taking things more seriously#and while that's not a bad thing in and of itself the thing i enjoy about the mcelroys is when they're goofing around#that's what they're good at and it's why i like them#subsequent arcs suffered the same thing to varying degrees#i slogged through most of graduation for some reason and although ethersea was better i didn't finish it#taz dracula was the first time i've felt that same kind of fun while listening since balance#and I really think it was because they were just getting silly with it. sure yeah elizabeth the sports druid. lady godwin turns into a hors#whatever!#their dad gets to follow through on his ideas and do whatever crazy but kinda logical thing he comes up with#but i guess the point is that to me taz feels very lightning in a bottle. balance is what it's capable of being but is not the default#all the other right ingredients had to be in the soup#2. noragami. ohh noragami.#you wormed your way deep into my heart and then flopped out of it like a messy slimy dead fish#and i can't even be upset about it because the creators sounded so tired and unhappy with the way it ended#but there was so much potential. so many themes that DID hit hard throughout the story and could've knocked a man out cold#had they come back at the end#and they could have right up until so very close!!! it wasn't unsalvageable#in fact it still isn't. you'd hardly have to revise anything. you'd just have to write a different ending
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#wow there's 50 of you#50 people decided little ole me was worth following#i've never had a non-rp blog get this many followers#ilu all#genuinely speechless rn#deleting this later bc it's cringe af but#wow#pers.text
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i'm desperate to know how many notebooks you have filled with these drawings. i must know, please, i'm on my hands and knees
Most of my comics are drawn on standard letter paper (8.5"x11"), and to date I have filled 23 pages! I usually manage to fit roughly 6-8 comics per page.
Mspaint recreation of the first page!
#ask#I have several more pages filled in a sketchbook for practice/studies and my 'better drawn' work#Each square panel is 1.5 inches (1/4 of a sticky note) and I use pretty small nub ink pens.#I actually hadn't counted how many I had filled (in my head it was roughly 1 new page a week) so this was a cool prompt to do so!#it's also wild to go back and look at my old comics! Really hits home how far I've come!#I felt so confident in my 3 panel format. Only to give it up by like... comic 11.#I meant to take a picture of the first early pages and compare it with the new comics but oh man taking photos was never my strong suit.#I hate shadows. I hate lighting. I hate angles. Defeated by the shadow of my hand and terrible camera quality.#I also do not have enough floor space to lay them all out... I Might need to ask a friend for their floor. And phone.#There's a little unused follower thank you i've never posted on the first page too! Argh...another time.#but yes! all of these exist in physical form. I need to invest in a little binder with protective sheets so I can flip through
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I should have known the sheer power of Ed's tummy. Nobody on earth can resist that
#everyone wants to boop once they see Ed#even those outside the fandom#i've never had so many new followers
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Having demand avoidance in a medical setting is literally hell. Like, patient autonomy is already absolute ass. It's only made worse when doctors CONSISTENTLY tell you what to do and act like you HAVE to do it instead of consulting with you first like normal fucking people.
#also “”“”medical necessity“”“” is NOT an excuse here.#ive been to plenty of doctors that thoroughly discuss a range/timeline of treatment and explain it IN DETAIL before saying “thats what i-#-recommend“ instead of just going ”okay were gonna do this. im gonna explain the prep to you a mile a minute and if you have any follow up-#-questions im just gonna repeat part of my spiel with no clarification. and if i cant answer your questions too bad :)“#not to mention how many doctors just force you to do things that WILL NEVER WORK#like one therapist tried forcing me to do emdr when i was only IN HER TOWN for the summer and i had no internet access when i was at college#im pretty sure emdr takes several weeks to work and i did not have that kind of time available to me. i couldnt just drop out bc of ptsd.#also the number of times ive had to decline an ESI is stupid. I've already had 2! they didn't work! i had a bad reaction to the meds!#why am i being forced to do it again?#also back surgery. i cant do that because i am a white trash rural kid and our home (which we built ourselves) CANNOT be accessible enough#for spinal surgery recovery. but i went to the surgeon and he was like “thats valid! and also surgery literally wouldnt help you so idk why-#-they sent you here.“ : l It's cool to be right all the time lol#its like. no wonder i developed medical demand avoidance after so much traumatizing and malpracticy bullshit in my life#demand avoidance#medical demand avoidance#chronic illness burnout#chronic illness#chronic pain#medical tw#ptsd#disability#medical neglect#medical trauma#vent#this might be too personal. if i do delete it ill have it rb'd on my boar-deer-whitetrashbutterfly blog first#idk i just havent really been able to find anyone else talking about this specific effect of being chronically ill/disabled.
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hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™
but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.
#if u want the tea my imagination at the time was like i could space out and straight up just be another person POV doing every little#thing as if i were them for hours and the experience would come together without having to even think about it.#different times/places/contexts/conversations etc. forced 2 to to my mom's lil cult meetings for 2 hours twice a week#i would opt to do these imagination exercises instead to rly put myself in a character's perspective. every step‚ stumble‚#riding in a carriage together for the entirety from point A to B etc. WELL i was working on a horror anthology somewhere 18/19#(that had a small local following 🫶🏾) and it its concept was like the Twilight zone but a lot darker. it was called interdimensional#and the main recurring character never actually shows up in the story. they r an omnipresent god of death who exists everywhere but#exists outside of our realm‚ and it picks random people to reveal itself to as a symbol. it can be apparent or just in passing that#the entry's MC sees it in‚ it will appear on something somewhere and once it's brought up it's a cue to the reader that this person#has just been sent to an alternate reality that leads towards their inevitable death. for the character nothing ever changes immediately#but the different starts to creep its way in‚ as does death's approach at its crescendo but the path's i took to get there were 😨#and after enough entries i started to see the symbol irl and hallucinate some other stuff from my stories and it really scared me#and made me stop 🫡 but i think in retrospect i just went too hard on the imagination exercises and wished i tried cultivating it instead#give myself time to settle and get in control.. but alas‚ she has not written seriously since. to this day it still flows out of me if#i just sit down to do it‚ but i don't think I'm at risk of something like that happening again anymore :3 so yeah ♡ i am learning how to#draw and trying not 2 force it bc i want it to b fun as a little journey for me and i look forward to the day i can come back to actively#writing again too 🫶🏾 i miss it but i also want to b able to draw ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა#learn the hard thing first then do the stuff that comes naturally.... i also want to get back into music sometime but clearly i got a lot of#other stuff to work on 💀 i burnt myself out on it learning too many things and not having enough fun with it anymore‚#but i have a better healthier with art these days and i know it'll be great to come back to when I'm ready 😌💕#i have been considering getting an acoustic or bass guitar tho 🧐 the beauty of physical instruments.. they're just there ready 2 go..#I've been doing mostly digital the past few years‚ when i was making music. it was also rly hard to when i was w my ex ૮ – ﻌ–ა#that's a whole other rant lol. but ugh digital is like u gotta set it up u gotta make space and then u gotta be in one spot the whole time#i just wanna lay in bed and vibe or something yfm.. walk around maybe idk. do something less structured.#maybe.. hm. hmmm 🧐#I'm going to guitar center lol c ya ✌🏾 getting a bass and amp and maybe a guitar too depending on the price
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OMG WITHOUT GIVING AWAY ANY SPOILERS WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT DOING PIP IN TIME? 😁😄😃😀
This project has been so much fun, from designing the layouts, figuring out juicy plot points and weaving them into a bigger narrative or just indulging in my wittebane brain rot but thinking about characterization makes me absolutely feral (actual discord message shared above). The show only gives us snippets of who Phillip and Caleb were at this age so there's a lot of room to decide what makes them tick and lead them down the canon path they ended up on. What makes people the way they are, what makes them change, mind games, poor communication, how siblings influence each other and how new environments can enforce or modify thought patterns, how they'd react to the unexpected and why. And it's not like i really overthink every scene like this but when it comes together it's just so satisfying. I may not always be the best at conveying what I have in mind, and it took me a minute (all of chapter 1) to figure out what i wanted to do with Caleb, but thinking about character is the best.
#toh pit au#pit au ask#answered ask#the response has also been so cool#i keep expecting it to fall off#i got 500 new followers in the past 3 months#after blocking the obvious bots#thats so many#who are you people#should i be doing something#like monitizing#i've never had a following#how does this work#im just gonna think of my silly lil bois#who dont know how to communicate their feelings
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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Good news! The channel that plays only old History Channel documentaries had a day entirely devoted to American presidents, so I have a lot more president facts to share with you!
(Important note that I have fact-checked nothing. I am only spouting off trivia the way I would if you were here for me to info-dump at).
Andrew Jackson's wife died soon after he was elected president, and he believed her death was caused by the vicious attacks against her during the election. Because he apparently lived his life as though he were a Shakespeare character, he said something along the lines of, "On the grave of this saint, I forgive all my political and personal enemies, but as for those who slandered her, they must look to God for mercy."
When William Jennings Bryan ran against William McKinley in 1896, he went on an epic nationwide whistle-stop campaign. Though he never drank alcohol, he reeked of liquor throughout his tour--because he was using gin as a deodorant! Instead of stopping to bathe, he would wipe himself down with gin to mask his body odor.
After Harry Truman, it became the practice for both presidential nominees to get security briefings months before the election, so when they came into office they'd be up-to-date on world events--with the understanding that all this info was strictly confidential. When Richard Nixon heard that LBJ's administration was putting together peace talks to end the Vietnam War, he went to the South Vietnamese and told them to refuse to go to the table, because if they waited until he was in office, they'd get a better deal. LBJ found out and told the head of the Republican Party to tell Nixon to stop it, because this was treason. Nixon called LBJ back and said this story was untrue and he had nothing to do with any such actions. LBJ knew he was lying, but only because he'd been secretly recording sessions with the South Vietnamese, so he couldn't do anything without exposing his own actions. Because of this, South Vietnam never came to the bargaining table, and the war dragged on more than five years longer.
When Ronald Reagan was shot by an assassin, Soviet submarine activity increased near US shores, and people thought this might be part of a Soviet attack. George Bush, the vice president, was (I think) in Texas at the time, and immediately started flying back to Washington, but his plane didn't have a secure phone line, so he couldn't be in charge of the country, and people weren't sure who was next in line. Both the Secretary of State and the Secretary of Defense believed that they should be in charge. The press also wanted to know who was in charge, but the press secretary was doing a terrible job at the press briefing, essentially saying that they didn't know who was in command. The Secretary of State then sprinted into the briefing room, took the microphone, and assured everyone that there was a clear chain of command, and he was in charge. The only problem was that he was wrong--he'd completely forgotten that both the Speaker of the House and the President pro tempore of the Senate ranked ahead of him.
At the time this documentary was made (2016), Dick Cheney held the record for the shortest presidency. The president is allowed to temporarily hand over power to the vice president if he's going to be incapacitated. George W. Bush made use of this rule twice when he was going in for colonoscopies, so Dick Cheney served as president for a total of four hours.
#history is awesome#presidential talk#i was babysitting the nephew who was very very fussy#so i was stuck in one room for hours with tv on in the background#this happy coincidence made it rather enjoyable and nephew now has a good grounding in american history#only trouble was that once i finally got a reprieve from babysitting i wanted to keep watching the documentary about elections#they were just about to start lincoln!#i watched through lincoln and mckinley's elections and then even i'd had enough#the lincoln stuff lined up well with what i've read#and i was very glad to have read it because i wouldn't have followed their telling if i didn't have background#i had a minor issue with a line about 'a series of weak presidents had appeased the south for years with compromises'#when zachary taylor's face showed up in that line-up i yelled at the tv 'zachary taylor never compromised on anything in his life!'#the slander!#it's also interesting to see old documentaries and how history changes#the one about early presidents was from 1996 and pushed the 'harrison died of pneumonia after his long inaugural address' narrative#jefferson's slave mistress story was only 'many historians believe this to be true' and not 'tear-down-his-statues settled fact'#among other things this experience made me more appreciative of the merits of broadcast tv#even if these things were available on streaming i'd never pick '1996 presidential elections documentary' on my own#i need some guy desperate to fill airtime to curate this for me
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