#I've never been to one so idk what to expect..........
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secret rhymes - 11. roomie (half-written)
a/n: and random idol landed on yujin (idk much ab her but hopefully enough for this to be accurate... hopefully)
the sound of the door creaking open pulled you from basically every thought racing in your head. you turn to see a girl stepping in, with a bag slung over her shoulder and a drink in hand. she freezes mid-step as she catches you in her eye, blinking in surprise.
"oh!" she says softly, though her voice carries a slight edge of surprise. "i didn't think you'd make it today."
"yeah, um, surprise?" you offer a shy smile, stepping aside from where you had been standing by your side of the room (the side with literally nothing present). "i just got here yesterday... stayed at a, um, friends place before arriving. you must be my roommate?"
"looks like it," she says, recovering quickly. she walks over and plops down on the edge of her bed. "i'm yujin, ahn yujin."
you look down at her extended hand before reaching over to shake it. her smile was genuine, and it eased you a bit.
"nice to meet you, i'm l/n y/n."
she tilts her head slightly, eyes scanning you a bit before she mutters, "this feels kinda real now."
you laugh softly, nodding as you sit on the edge of your bed. "yeah, it's kind of surreal for me."
there was a moment of quiet as yujin began sipping on her drink, and you began to unpack the bag beside you a bit. the silence wasn't that uncomfortable, you've been through worse, but it hung in the air like a question waiting to be asked.
"so," yujin starts after a beat, glancing over as you take out a pair of slippers. "are you nervous?"
"oh for sure," you admit with a slight chuckle. "you?"
"same." she says, laughing lightly. "but i'm kind of excited too. it's a very weird mix."
you nod, sensing the tension in the room dying down. "where are you from?" you ask.
"daejeon," she answers, "kinda far... so it's a bit different. i've never been so far away from home, but i got a nice scholarship here."
"that's funny, it's the same for me." you explain, "i'm actually from new york city, so this is really... different. i've been a couple times but... living here now? and university? it's kind of insane to me still. i got a full ride, couldn't turn it down, especially at a place like yonsei."
her eyes widen a bit, genuine curiosity sparking in them. "new york? wow. that must be amazing..."
"it has its moments," you respond with a shrug. "it's loud, crowded, and overwhelming sometimes. seoul seems a bit more peaceful, at least where i've been to in the past and yesterday."
yujin laughs at that, her eyes crinkling at the edges. "i guess every place has its ups and downs."
"i guess so."
the initial awkwardness completely melted away as you both talked about your hometowns, your expectations for college, and little things like favorite foods and your love for music. yujin had an easygoing way of speaking, and you could tell she was the playful type as she reminded you of some of your own friends. she was always attentive even when you weren't completely facing her as you unpacked, smiling at you in a way that made you feel like you'd known her a little longer than just a few minutes.
"i feel better now," yujin admits at one point, looking up from where she was folding her own set of clothes. "meeting you, i mean. i was worried i would get some super serious roommate, or someone really hard to get along with -- really just someone pretentious."
""well... am i any of that?"
"oh, far from that. trust me."
you snicker, "i'm glad. but i might be like that if you touch my snacks..."
"what? i would never. well... i do love snacks, so it depends." she gasps in a sort of mock offense, making you giggle.
"right... we'll have to see." you tease. "i think we're off to a good start for now. if you take my snacks, i might have to take yours back though..."
masterlist ; previous — next
taglist ! @namojoon @ly-gushka @ryujinshotsexywife @sonotcopingatall @artrizzler19 @yerimbrit @sixflame438 @nwjnsloona @saysirhc @nimnia @somedaydream @trovao-penguins @modanisgf @c-yerim @starstruckgoateepuppy @tzuyusdoughnut @kaypanaq @peranoo @haerinkisser @electronicluminarycoffee @yoohtonyy @secretcessy
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Maybe I'm a hater but I feel like expecting clpl to make Mizuki say "Ena I'm transgender I was a boy but now I'm a girl" was a little too much hope for a rhythm game but I did think they'd be more... Subtle, I guess. Like they wouldn't use the words boy or girl or transgender but maybe something like "oh, I wasn't always like this Ena... I wasn't always "cute" (a girl)" but well. What did we expect.
I do think clpl still has the capacity to redeem themselves a little by finally changing Mizuki's boku to either watashi (in hiragana perhaps?) or atashi, if they really wanna make it "feminine". However, I suspect they won't do that, either.
In conclusion, let's throw rocks at clpl <3 I was also wondering, how are the japanese fans reacting to the event?
yeah i kinda didn't think they'd ever say trans outright, but maybe like, a vague description of sorts. and i think the whole idea of "it's a gacha game they would never be that explicit" is kinda void here as well since, they absolutely can, and other games/franchises absolutely do. prsk is much more mainstream than the stuff that is more explicit though, which probably plays a role.
their one source of redemption is probably gonna be hiichan/minoringo dropping something during the talk show or mizuki's ? in bio getting changed, but as for anything in the text it's not exactly looking great. kanade and mafuyu know now, and an and rui already knew, so we've already ticked off most of her closest relationships before her next event. i mean idk really what they're gonna do for mizuki now since she's a year younger than the other n25 characters who are all having arcs about growing up and thinking about uni/jobs, so maybe they will have mizuki6 being about her coming out to people like airi/shizuku/akito/toya etc. i dunno. there's still room to. try and fix things.
as for how jp fans are responding i'm not really sure since i haven't been hanging around the prsk fandom much for the past month, but i've seen a couple tweets about people being dissatisfied about the fact there's no clear resolution to what her secret is. which, yeah it's kinda wack to spend 4 years reminding the audience about mizuki's secret that is one day going to be revealed only to fade to black when the time comes lol. not sure what the most common response is though.
also yes we should throw rocks at clpl. in fact let's do pipebomb #5
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A fish out of water. (Idk I wanted to make the title reference Stan's Cipher Zodiac symbol but I couldn't think of a witty way how. Is it even a fish?? Idk I see a fish lol.)
("Wherever we go, we go together alright bro?")
Light filled the room as Stan flipped the lightswitch to his condo. Soft white light filled the room, a mixture of trash and trinkets littered the room in front him.
(Right... I forgot I've been needin' to take care of that. Eh I'll get to it tomorrow. The twins won't be back here until a couple of days.)
Reaching up to scratch his chin, a sharp pain registered as his hand scratched his chin and lower lip.
(OW Ffff-french toast... Figures I'd forget about the number that guy did on the old kisser.)
Earlier that day another jerk had mistaken him for his twin. The usual routine, of course he made sure to return the favor with interest though. There's no way that guy would be seein' anything with his left eye for a good while after the mark he left on it.
(Welp, better get to trying to fix this up. Mabel and Ford'll definitely worry even more than usual if this gets infected.)
Saying that, the old man shuffled over to his bathroom, dodging the miscellaneous items that covered the floor.
(Aight let's get this over with...)
The bathroom was a little disorganized, but everything was more or less the same as it usually was. Still, it was a bit of an adjustment to get used to having Mabel (and to an extent Dipper's) stuff in the sink cabinet along with his own.
Searching through the wave of clutter in the cabinet, Stan eventually found the peroxide he was searching for, to his dismay he did find he was out of normal band-aids, so he was forced to use the box of band-aids covered with designs of puppies, kittens, and narwhals.
(Really hope Mabel doesn't mind I'm usin' one of her band-aids...)
Stan knew she wouldn't, heck she'd insist he use them, but Stan couldn't help but feel at least a little bit guilty for needing to ask for handouts from her, a kid.
Cleaning up the wound was about as fun as it could be, but it wasn't the worst. God knows he's had to clean up way worse.
After quickly slapping a kitten band-aid with the words "Paw-Sum Dude!" onto his wound, he found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror.
(Geez, I guess I'll never escape bein' pointdexter's shadow sometimes huh?)
It was to be expected with being a twin right? Especially if one was more famous than the other.
Although these days that "popularity" was more negative than positive.
(At least it wasn't the dog treats n' cat biscuits thing this time. I HATE when they do that.)
Geez what would Pa think with how they turned out, what would MA think?
Times like these he really wished he could literally beat some sense into people. If he could only make people understand Ford like he did, or at least, like he THOUGHT he did.
(Shoot, he started thinking like this again.)
Like a slideshow in science class, bits and pieces of memories of his youth flashed by in a blink of an eye.
Fond memories of their times on the beach, their first day of school, to the awkward start of learning to box.
To the less wonderful times, the fights between their parents or the family in general, times the two got hurt defending themselves from bullies, to all of the times the two fought.
...
"This was no accident, Stan; you did this! You did this because you couldn't handle me going to college on my own!"
(Crap, I'm dwellin' on this again? Why? It's been years since that dumb mistake!)
And yet it wasn't just a dumb mistake was it? It was THE dumb mistake. The one that cost Ford his dream college, the one that ruined their relationship for so many years, the one one that got Stanley kicked out onto the streets by their Father and was forced to survive all those years on his own.
(If only I had manned up and had told the truth about that dumb machine earlier, we probably could've fixed it. I could've prevented all of the junk that I caused to the family, I probably could've PREVENTED Ford from ever getting involved with that dumb triangle!)
But... was their any truth to that? In a perfect world where Stan didn't screw up once again, could he confidently say things would've been better?
(Why didn't he say anything that day? Why didn't he stand up against Pa that day? Did I screw up so much he hated me that much?)
The funniest part about that was he could'nt even ask Ford about it. If he did, Ford got this distant look on his face while havin' a 50/50 shot of either spacing out for a good while or freakin' out for what felt like AGES.
Stan began to feel a tight feeling in his chest, his throat starting to close as it started to become harder to breathe.
The very same man who had carried so much pride in himself and his work, that he was willing to leave Stan out to dry when Stan had screwed up his chances at getting into his dream school, was now a shell of his former self.
(You threw everything away for... for... some dumb triangle with an eye! Your self respect, your family, you gave it all up for what??)
Tears began to flow down Stanley's cheeks.
(Damnit, I shouldn't be crying. A man ain't supposed to cry over something as small as this!)
As Stan tried his best to try and rebottle his emotions again, something caught his eye as he looked out in front of him.
It was Ford. His spitting image stared back at him, looking just as upset as he was while wearing the same things as he did.
His previous sadness soon began to blossom into rage as Stan found himself grabbing the baseball bat he kept in the bathroom for emergencies.
"Y-YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE EVERYTHING DIDN'T YOU!"
*Crack*
"AND STILL YA GAVE UP EVERYTHING TA BE WITH SOMETHIN' THAT DOESN'T TREAT YA BETTER THAN A STRAY DOG!!"
*Shatter*
"I-I"
The words "Hate you" hung on the edge of this tongue. He wanted to say those words so BADLY. Wanted to believe em' too. And yet he couldn't.
The mirror in front of him was shattered beyond repair, pieces of it still hanging onto it's frame as the rest collected into the sink below it.
From those pieces, Stan was able to see the ball of anger that stood in front of him. Ford's reflection wasn't there anymore, it was him again, yet with the way he looked in the mirror, he also saw his Father's stern look staring back at him, his rage filled eyes reflecting back at him in the triangular piece of mirror that stubbornly held on to the mirror's frame despite what a majority of the other pieces did by just breaking off from it.
("All you ever do is lie and cheat, and ride on your brother's coattails.")
*Clunk*
The bat fell to the ground as Stan felt himself fall to his knees, tears flowing even stronger as he found his body doing the opposite of what his mind told it to do.
A bloodcurdling roar filled the night, similar to a hurt angry bear, the sound afterwards followed by sobs.
Stan would eventually get to collecting himself enough to clean up the mess in the bathroom, afterwards falling asleep at his armchair with the tv on as whitenoise. The framed pictures of his family watching over him as his only companions that night.
It was going to be "fun" to think up a lie to tell the neighbors the next day about the noise coming from his condo, but he was too exhausted to worry about that right now. Right now, he just wanted to sleep, hoping the cravings for certain substances would leave in the morning, he made so much progress for the twins already, he didn't want to lose all of it due to some "hysterical episode" of his.
Of course, when Mabel and Dipper called the next morning they'd be none the wiser of what ailed their Great Uncle, he'd be matching their excited energy as they told them what mischief they've gotten into lately.
Ford would still be none the wiser as he embraced his brother when they metup that afternoon, although he would find it strange Stanley had trouble looking him in the eye that day, although he'd be quickly brushed off when he'd ask Stan if anything was wrong and if he and his Muse could help with anything.
Stanley was going to make sure that nobody was going to see or know the fragile side to him.
Nobody was going to know that "Stanley Screwup Pines" was struggling with personal issue.
If luck wasn't on your side you kept trying until it was, even if you had to cheat your way to winning.
You didn't just accept defeat when you're knocked down.
If there was something wrong with a performance you just continued onwards, winging it and acting like nothing was wrong because the show must go on.
He wasn't ever going to cry in front of anyone.
Cause especially if he cried,
SHE would cry along with him.
And he wasn't ever going to let that happen as long as his lived.
In a way you could say this was the greatest con Stanley Pines ever did.
Convincing everyone, even himself, that he was infact, fine.
(HEY BESTIES! I totally lost some sleep writing this but after seeing the latest post my Jellyskink about Stan I knew I had to try writing some fanfiction for Stan!
The 14 year old girl that possessed me is happy to say it was fun to try writing more angsty fanfiction, especially since that's a specialty for the Gravity Falls Fandom when it isn't being silly or comforting lol.
I hope this turned out decently! As I writing this I was thinking of two Marina songs to recommend but I couldn't decide on one so I thought I'd share both of them.
"The Family Jewels"
"Teen Idle"
Both by Marina.
I hope I kinda captured Stan's essence! I always kinda thought he gave off the "Bruiser with a soft side" trope and stuff!
He's so bbg, I hope everyone enjoys the very girlypop and slaytastic fanfic I wrote for him! Geez I'm having too much fun talking like this lmao!)
THIS IS SO SADDD I LOVE IT 💔💔💔 POOR STAN!!!
(Pictured above: Ford's obliviousness has only gotten worse in his isolation from other humans)
(Also pictured above: the young twins are currently holding the family brain cells)
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Been thinking about how the relationship between Athena and Hera is probably a little different than the relationship between any of Zeus’ other children and Hera.
Athena isn’t one of Zeus’ affair babies. She’s his legitimate child from his first marriage. So imagine rather than hating her Hera is actually nice to her, at least in a general sense. She isn’t like a complete genuine mother figure or anything but she isn’t like a horrible step-monster. Hera’s just genuinely chill with Athena and honestly it definitely works in Epic with how the part between them in God Games went. Hera isn’t like a 10/10 mom to Athena but she’s a descent enough “parent”-esque figure in her life which would probably be an interesting thing to explore. Like, Athena not only being Zeus’ favorite daughter but the only step child Hera doesn’t want in a ditch for existing 😭
ahh yes, those two (I love them honestly)
I imagine the beginning was kinda difficult, especially with how honestly insane Athena's birth was (Imagine coming into a room, your husband has his head split open and there's a more or less fully grown girl in battle armor standing there like tf) and depending how much Zeus would disclose about Metis (I've read that Hephaestus in some versions was Hera's revenge baby bc she thought Zeus just randomly had a daughter on his own) Anyway. I agree Hera would probably be inherently nicer to Athena especially bc Athena I'd imagine has the sense not to push the "Mom" angle on her. She's just this young woman who lives on the same mountain as her, and Hera kinda gives her the chance to show her personality rather than immediately judging her.
I love that they work together in the Trojan War btw. Like that's just peak Wine Aunt- Stepkid behavior, scheming for a city's downfall on the weekend (and weekdays. there's a lot of scheming)
idk kinda like with Odysseus Athena gets her affection specifically by not asking for or expecting it lol
and what I'm also thinking from Hera's perspective, Zeus never gives her a choice in family planning. Like he just randomly springs stepkids on her that she's meant to love. So it makes sense to me that she likes the one best who gave her the choice that Zeus did not if that makes sense
sorry if I took that in a different direction than what you thought about I just kinda gave my two cents lol Shit now I want more Athena&Hera content. ahhh
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One more week til Comic Con
#things I deem important enough to dedicate posts to#I've never been to one so idk what to expect..........#hoping to find some TF2/Megaman stuff but I won't get my hopes up too high lol#at the very least I'm sure there will be Dungeon Meshi#not looking forwards to having to travel to London and attempt to work out the underground tho ( ._.)#but I am looking forwards to seeing my friends since we didn't get to hang at Insomnia this year
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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it’s also baffling to me that tumblr, home of the ‘why are white men Still being cast as the doctor’ for So many years now (For you know, like over a decade.) is somehow not appalled that they hired a white dude to be the next Doctor because look okay it’s okay if it’s This white man.
I mean, I do not consent to acknowledge that they’ve shoved him in there under any circumstance, but my Only need for the casting of the next person was that it was Not a white man, otherwise i didn’t care who it was, so when they “announced” Gatwa I was satisfied (i am hesitant to say they announced it bc it was more like a tiny footnote than an announcement, oh the disrespect) and it took a whole seven days (it was literally seven days. Yes i counted. it was easy since it was only seven days) it was ‘actually sorry no it’s this white dude we’ve already had before did we forget to mention that???’ and it’s steadily gotten worse and worse.
That This site of all places is not up in arms about both the situation and how it specifically played out is depressing, but also massively and darkly hilarious.
Especially since i Also remember nobody on this site thought casting Whittaker was good enough but literally going backward to a previous white man is?? This is not even a metaphor about diversity getting worse, they literally looked backwards.
But, yeah, tenn/ant with the ‘what the future looks like’ headline is uh... Good???? Not super worrying and ominous?
I feel like i’ve been dumped in some weird parallel universe by reactions to all of this on here like??? the whole way this was done was appalling, the situation is appalling, but i guess the bbc/disney should get a rousing round of applause for accurately judging that nobody would care about their poor actions if the specific white guy they cast was popular enough that next to nobody would care.
( and to the ‘it’s an anniversary ep’ thing, they legit could have just set a couple of eps in the past. i don’t mean they travel to the past. i mean just say ‘hey this ep is set during s4!’ and nobody would care. this show does weirder stuff than this every second episode. and it would still be bad, but how they did it is so much Worse.)
#dw shit#literally feel like i live in some wild parallel universe where weird shit is happening#genuinely#i am baffled#while also not being baffled at all#i try to be a realist rather than be cynical or optimistic but you know what#in this case#i honestly expected better of people#guess the cynicism would have helped here#idk i love 13 but i like jodie too and it'd Suck Balls to see her stomp on somebody else down the line#i'd hate it#i'd lose respect for her#but i've never been one for stan culture i guess#any bs on this one gets blocked and totally ignored tbh the level to which i do not care is So High#all i'm saying is#when they do more bs with white guys you Don't like#remember they learnt they can get away with it when nobody cared when they did it the first time#their litmus test has sure given Results
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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one#i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking#and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped#i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format#anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head#idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope#im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT#ieytd#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck#i expect you to die#<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that#the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two#make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL#GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga#thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry
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i don't talk about him a lot on here but a couple years ago i got a beta fish which i so sweetly named sebass-tian hamil-fin. i'd never had a fish before but at the time, since i wasn't in my apartment a lot, a fish was really the only thing i could care for. unfortunately, he passed away today.
i didn't think i'd be this upset by it because i could kind of tell over the past week or two that he wasn't doing too well. i tried my best to make him feel better but unfortunately, it wasn't enough.
i plan to go and get another fish tomorrow but i just...don't really know how to feel about it right now. he was my first fish and certainly won't be my last.
#tw animal death#cw animal death#i do recognize that i gave him a better quality of life than being on some pet store shelf in a small container#but this still isn't easy to take. i know he wasn't doing well and i tried my best dammit. i really did.#the shittiest part is that it really is my fault. you're supposed to change the tank water every two weeks or so and i just...i couldn't#whether it be work or depression or executive function i just usually got to it around four weeks#and the water just wasn't healthy at that point. so i'm really kind of beating myself up for it because by the time i realized it#it was too late. but wow did that little guy fight. he survived a move with me! i didn't move him properly in any way shape or form#and yet he did it. anyway. i've expected this every day for the last week or two but it was just confirmed and it really hit me#i've just been sitting here crying because i loved him but also! idk i just needed some company at first ya know?#not to sound like. detached from the situation but like...it really was an experiment? bc i never owned a fish before and wanted to see#if i could actually do it and i'm so so glad i did#he was a beautiful fish and i appreciated his company because beta's are actually pretty smart and usually grow to recognize you.#i lovingly joked with one of my friends that seabass was in hospice the past few weeks so truthfully i know i did what i could#but it was also realistically a learning experiment. now i know how to properly take care of a fish and the next seabass will have a great#experience and tank already ready for him. anyway if you've read this far gold star! i'm gonna log off now#i’m rambling again aren’t i
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So what you’re saying is that datv is actually the new stardew valley huh? 🤔
JFJAKWKKEKDKDK MAYHAPS?? I've never played stardew valley tbh but this is what I imagine it to be like now 😭
#tho ig it checks out. it's very cute. lots of romances. everyone seems mostly nice#from what I've seen on tumblr anyway#but HONESTLY. I don't think it's unfair to be disappointed bc like. even though that style of game is nice#and a lot of ppl enjoy it#it's just very far from what dragon age has been in the previous games#and when I play dragon age I don't really expect a cute farming/romance simulator like. I expect a darker setting with nuanced characters#tbh some of my favorite DA characters are ones I've never romanced#anyway I just wanted a style of storytelling that doesn't seem to be there. that was there before but#it looks like the devs want to move the series into a different direction#so idk maybe I'm just not part of the new target audience it's aiming for 🫠#aughhh it's so sad and disappointing to me. I played the first 3 games in my teens they were very formative for me#anyway. I think I'll either get cp2077 or replay vtmb after I finish this just to feel something 😔#asks#anon#datv critical#datv
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You know I really do not need Jeremiah Arkham to be Black Mask at any time ever. Someone’s gotta fill the niche of mental health professional who is 100% not a supervillain. A guy whose evildoing comes only as an example of what a psych ward can do to you if they just choose.
The tension of knowing he started out extremely dedicated and genuinely wanting to help people, seeing him victimized and bullied by rogues in his care until even the last shreds of professionalism that held place of his already run down empathy wear out, and despite being sympathetic to this hopeless state being nonetheless nauseatingly horrified when he turns to abusing his patients because in his position he can just do that and hypothetically could have chosen to do that over anything,
is way better to have in there to work with Batman’s exploratory themes of power, justice, corruption and institution, mental illness, and ‘Society’ ect ect
than just saying “and then he snapped too much so now he’s in a legacy costume and a straight jacket too.”
No hate to my other villains who have lost their licenses. Some of those guys are some of my favorite rogues, and I love them dearly, but we need one uncostumed one.
(Yes, I am arguing that something from a giant superhero franchise should not have another costumed villain because themes, as if costumed villains is not the whole genre. I am also the sort of person who gave up on No Game, No Life after reading more volumes than I’d care to admit, because I got sick of wading through the gross parts waiting for them to tackle the subjects of debilitating phobias, isolation, codependency, and family that I thought were promised to me before realizing that was never gonna happen. So. Take me however you will. Please pretend reblogs are disabled bc tumblr isnt giving me the option rn)
#jeremiah arkham#i went searching for stuff involving the character after watching the batman 2022 on a headcanon whim#and his shifting characterization and his place in the storyworld actually ended up meaning a lot more to me than I expected#but that's probably because i've been in a psych ward#and wilderness therapy#so i've seen some good and bad things#and i think it's very in line with Batman media#to be like 'hey even if we may sympathize with why you chose to abuse your power it's a systemic failure that you're just able to do that'#if he's black mask i think it idk cheapens the effect?#is it just me? am i wrong? does it not and that just paints me as dismissive?#like am i the one being biased by being like 'yeah i take his bad actions less seriouslywhen he's just another crazy costumed villain'?#i hope i don't sound like that#like you all get what i'm saying right?#this post may be so poorly formed that i did not articulate my point well at all but that's never stopped me from pressing post before#if anyone posts a rebuttle that takes me down. you're free to but i'm not going to respond because i dont want to collaborate on this one
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having a moment about my gender rn and i'm just like ugggggh @ my brain do we have to. like can we just not
#i need to go to bed soon bc i have a 10am class tomorrow but shoutout to the identity crisis i've been having since at least feb 6th#idk if identity crisis is even the right word. bc like one thing about me is that i have a very solid sense of self#like i know who i am and what i want and how i move through the world and what it feels like to be me#but in terms of how i label and explain that to others? that's where the identity crisis comes in#but no one else gets to experience me in first person POV so the descriptors i use and they ways i present myself are reality to them#and tbh? as i think about how some of the descriptors i use for myself don't accurately describe me some people are getting mad???#which is so fucking bizarre bc like. what the fuck it's my gender why are YOU being offended???#but it's also making me low key be like ''wait am i a bad person now????''#even tho i don't believe morality works like that. idk it's just been an exhausting month and a half#if anyone wants to hear more in depth thoughts on all this i would love to vent about it#(but not rn bc i will be going to bed as soon as i get this all out)#but like what i will say now is even tho this past month and a half has been ROUGH (for several reasons especially gender)#and people might expect that me spending so much time with scott in february made it more exhausting#which is understandable we love scott but touring in general is tiring and also i am the most opinionated person i've ever met but so is he#and also like. if you've heard scott talk about gender it's very obvious we disagree on a lot of things and he doesn't shy away from that#but the thing is. i'd actually say spending so much time with scott (even when we talk about gender. even when we *argue* about gender)#was actually such a good thing for me throughout all of this bc even when we disagree on semantics of labels#scott actually sees me beyond that rather than reducing my identity to what i call myself#which is how a lot of well-meaning allys tend to treat me. like i'm just one thing.#so when i'm with scott i never really have to think about my gender#bc he doesn't treat me like i'm (insert whatever gender people treat me like). he just treats me like i'm jessamine#and i'm tired of having to explain myself into smaller pieces so people can pretend to get it#but i feel like there's no way not to do that in our society rn especially at my ''progressive'' liberal arts college
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i finally wrote an xword that i think might be nyt-submittable...i originally wrote it for the local paper though so i now have to go back through and rework the clues to take out the specific local ones and make some of the others harder. i know exactly which day of the week this would run in the nyt (if it gets accepted) because this type of theme always runs on the same day, so at least i know which clue difficulty to aim for, but i'm still finding it difficult to hit that precise level! i'm used to just making the clues as easy as possible because my local paper's audience is mostly people who aren't xword aficionados. i already reworked this puzzle a couple times based on feedback from friends and family but that was all still when i thought i'd be running it in my local paper. i kinda just want to be done with it but i've never had a theme and fill i thought were completely nyt-worthy before!
#i've been thinking that i would write a puzzle that was intended for the nyt from the beginning#but i never prioritize it because the local paper is actually expecting something from me and i have deadlines with them#so this might be the only way it ever actually happens#i feel kinda bad for the local paper that they don't even get my best work haha but also this theme would probably be too hard#for most of their audience (though let's face it probably all of my puzzles are too hard for various reasons)#aw shoot though i just reread the submission guidelines and they're specifically looking for themes OTHER THAN this type#hmmm#cruciverbs#i also wouldn't mind submitting this in collaboration with a more experienced constructor who could help me with the clues#and i imagine such people are always looking for greenhorn collaborators because it allows them to have >3 submissions#in the queue...but i don't even know how one goes about finding such people#if i submit it and they reject it no harm no foul EXCEPT that i don't know how long it would take them to get back to me#and if this isn't going to run in the nyt then i'd still like to run it in the local paper#but also maybe if they reject it they'll be like 'we don't want this but you seem to have promise so here's the email address of#one of our veteran constructors who would be willing to work with you on other ideas you may have'#i just made that up idk if they would actually do that haha but it seems plausible. and wouldn't it be nice?#i do have another nyt-specific idea that i've been spinning my wheels on for like two years#hmm hmm hmm. i think my best bet is still to rework these clues and submit it and see what happens#worst case scenario is they never get back to me. which is a distinct possibility given what happened with my#american xword puzzle tournament previous year solved puzzles (ie they never got back to me >:( )#but that was will shortz. this is will shortz plus like 5 other people. he probably doesn't even see new submissions
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I was a very sheltered kid and didn't get to consume fandom content until a few years ago, and most of the fandoms I'm in have been over for years before I watched the content. It's really weird to experience a show in real time?? Like usually I binge something and then go and obsess over fandom content for the next month (or several), but now I have to wait for said fandom content to be made?? I wanna read fanfic about the tbb finale but I also need to give creators time to write it lol 😅
I'm just so not used to being in fandoms that are still updating/just ended that it feels weird to me ig
#I'm really thankful that the need to read tbb fics hasn't arisen yet#bc idk what I'd find and I don't wanna be sad about a lack of stuff I want to read#like I know there's a lot of good stuff out there!#but usually I like multichapter stuff and I want fics that include the finale#so I gotta wait#But yeah I just never got to grow up in fandoms and certainly didn't have access to the internet lol#I discovered youtube in literal 6th grade sooo#No one told me!!#And the only channel I had access to was pbs#Which is nice but I didn't get to watch everyone's favorite childhood shows#And I feel like I missed out#But it's ok! I'm getting into fandoms now!!#I've been binging 2012 tmnt#And it's nice to watch something a lot of my friends grew up on#I will snatch back childhood experiences with tooth and claw if I have to#This was a longer rant than I was expecting to write in the tags 😅#anyways#tbb#the bad batch#fics#idk#Anyways if anyone has fic recs for the tech is Cx-2 thing that involve the events of the finale lmk#i want them
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a bit insane to know there's people out there who think i'm hot shit tbh. you know i'm a pathetic cringefail loser who literally can't do anything, right?? please raise your standards 😔💔
#had a meeting with my mentor/guide/man i really gotta figure out some english word for her today#and basically unprompted she brought up that like. she thinks i'm amazing for having goals and working to get them#which i was honestly baffled by bc. i don't do anything 👍#my past self sets shit up for me to regret later bc i hate doing stuff. that's it#never heard anyone describe me as ambitious but in her eyes that's like a defining trait of mine#i'm highkey worried i'm gonna disappoint her 😭 and. everyone else.#my method is usually to do the bare minimum so no one develops any expectations#and that way they're always surprised when i do more#unfortunately this plan falls flat bc for some reason ppl keep having expectations of me#not ill intentioned ones. idk if that's the words. ig they're more like hopes?#like they hope i'll do more they hope i'll be better. not for themselves but for me#and then that inevitable disappointment hurts in a different way bc you know it comes from genuine love#i can't even be mad in that case 😭 like what are their expectations of me. for me to be happy??#(honestly in that case i AM angry you should def drop that that's literally impossible 👍)#ok now i'm rambling. sorry. ig this conversation fucked me up a bit bc i've been real stressed since#vent#kinda???????#ask to tag
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"Neil Murray’s songs and writings speak to me about Australia, in a way that few other artists can. The loss and longing, the need for those of us, as migrant Australians, to understand this Aboriginal Country and create a new way to belong here. Neil’s never opted for the easy road. The hard edged reality of life on the fringes as well as the poetic grandeur of the landscape are all there in his powerful body of work."
Shane Howard on Neil Murray
#since no one can tell me when the hell neil's birthday is i must instead post random tributes whenever i feel the need.#not that i need much of an excuse to post 2 of my favorite lil guys#and yes shane i agree. yes yes. and may i add that he's also a precious angel and writes the best love songs#and when he sings about australia it makes me miss that place so much. the yearning never stops.#take for example my namesake salty ground. a song about salinization? and trees. and it makes me feel so much because it conveys such like#ecological distress. nostalgia. it makes me homesick for western victoria soils that I've never seen!!!#yesterday in my one class the professor was like you've been to australia why does it have so many sodic soils??#(the same professor who i had to inform that central australia is indeed desert...)#and i was like IDK BUT NOW I NEED TO KNOWWWW#additionally we were discussing soil acidity and the map showed australia having a lot of acid soils#which is the opposite of what youd expect in dry regions. like wat. and the coastal areas were shown as alkaline... i am confused#shane howard#goanna#neil murray
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