#that i kinda know what to expect when next time comes and honestly. the vulnerability /of the imaginary scenario/ has me fucking petrified

[chamaleonsoul]

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[shuamorollss]

Wishing we were more than friends — sim jaeyun x fem!reader

Going home with friends you easily get along with are fun, what isn't fun is to linger feelings for one of them. Already in a course to move on from your silly feelings... you would never expect that very friend you're trying to move on from, starts to develop feelings for you back.

romance, angst, friends2lovers, Italicized parts means flashbacks warnings— Jake kinda gives reader mixed signals, tension but idk if this should still be a warning lol, pls tell me if i should add more! 6.9k wc + reblogs are greatly appreciated!

author's notes— Thank you to my lovelies @haerinz and @luvistqrzzz for proofreading I love u both sm!! I wouldn't hv made this fic better without y'all's help <3 this is kinda inspired by some events that happened to me irl! it was cute to reminisce these memories so I wrote them down here HAHAHAHAHA

perm tags— @jangwonie @jungwonize @luhvlyuna @w3bqrl @ineedaherosavemeenow @leaderwon

After school rolled by fast. The next thing you knew, you were walking home with Seeun, Tsuki, Sunghoon, and Jake.

You all lived in the same neighborhood, hence why you all have stuck together in order to get home safely, due to your hometown being a bit too far away to where you all go to school.

Adding to that, all of you are different people. Different tastes, different years, different cliques in school, yet all of you get along so well when united. Honestly, you absolutely cherish this bond and you never want this friendship with them to fade.

You have a good relationship with all of them, although you have one of a rocky road with Jake.

He was quiet, he never talks as much, and when he does, he only talks to Sunghoon.

You've had a conversation with him from time to time, it was rare due to the fact you had lingering feelings for the man, and that feeling caused you to be vulnerable whenever he's near, which affected your demeanor around him.

Only Seeun knew your admiration for Jake, and she never told a soul, thankfully.

This feeling of yours lasted for a while, until you promised to yourself (and to Seeun) that by the end of that very year, you'll be moving on from your romantic feelings for him.

And that's what exactly happened.

New years rolled around, and so was back to school sessions. Nowadays, you are able to talk to Jake normally unlike before. You were extremely proud of this development, considering you were head over heels for him nonstop for the past 4 months… You saw sides of Jake you wished you saw sooner. He was a funny guy, typically quiet at best, though when he speaks, he'll tell the craziest stories that'll get you hooked.

Even with the improvements on your friendship with Jake and the feeling of butterflies never seems to be present anymore.

Jake eventually found out about your past feelings for him though.

During a silly game of truth or dare.

"Alright! Who's next!" Sunghoon sneered, holding the bottle on the ground as he spun the bottle.

Everyone decided to come by to your house to cook and watch movies, though after the watch, they all decided to stay and have more fun. Thus, right at this moment, you all were playing the very harmless truth or dare game.

Everyone formed a circle, some of them hastily drumming on their thighs as they intensely waited for the bottle to land on someone.

As the bottle slows down, they all teased Sunghoon, who was beside you, and had the bottle almost landing on him. The intensity of the bottle moving at a snail's pace infuriates Sunghoon, cussing their teases off. Until he lets out a triumphant yell as the Bottle stops to you.

"Please thank you! Thank you bottle." Sunghoon teared up, as if he just won an academy award.

"So Y/N," Seeun started, and your heartbeat quickened, already expecting the question that would be asked.

It's Seeun, she knows your darkest secrets, you were so sure she'll step on the opportunity to ask about… Jake.

Seeun paused, her eyes widened to your direction.

"Just to make sure, is it okay if I get personal?" Seeun asked calmly, and you knew that she was definitely, totally, going to ask about what you expect her to ask about.

"Of course, I'll answer anything honestly, I swear." You retorted, giving Seeun a warm smile as everyone in the circle started breathing out deep 'ooh's as if you had just said something vile.

"Did you like anyone in our circle, and if you did, Who was it?" Seeun cheekily smiled

Truthfully, you were indeed confident in answering any questions even if it's personal. Maybe this might also be the time to finally confess your faded feelings to Jake, since you seemed to notice now that you were way too obvious back then, therefore Jake's reaction might not be so surprised by the time you mention his name in your answer, moreso, it would be a neutral reaction as if he expected it in the first place.

You ponder for a moment, looking at your friends in the circle intently, though your eyes stay at Jake for a few seconds, then back to Seeun.

"Yeah, I did like someone," The tone of your voice was assured, which made some of them let out another segment of 'ooh's and 'oh's, and some of them just widening their eyes, including Jake.

You sigh idly, "It was Jake…"

That name alone caused everyone to freak out, all the eyes and attention transferring to the man across you.

You didn't want them to take the wrong Idea, especially Jake, so you stood up in order to plead your case.

"To be clear, I USED to like you okay! I don't like you anymore." You reconfirm, Jake only nodded with a wide smile, and that was enough for you to calm yourself down as everyone else were still freaking out.

Jake shared his thoughts and reaction to your confession, and rest assured to you that he didn't feel the same for you ever, and that was enough for you to hear since this had encouraged your romantic feelings for him to dissolve completely, seeing him more in a platonic light.

After that silly confession of truth you had answered, said again, your friendship with Jake grew. Finally teasing and joking with him without having your heart flipping out by the mere sight of him, and of course, telling him stories.

You were content with that type of bond, and you were glad you were as equally close to all of them now, especially Jake.

That is…

until you two weren't.

Again.

5 months have passed since that truth or dare game, the normal still continued. You all usually go home together after school and when hungry the five of you always go to the mall and eat there instead.

Though during those days, you began developing a crush on a new guy, just a cute barista you knew at a local café. Joking about having slight interest in him to your friends was funny and tolerable, until it became a normal delusion for you to see him in that kind of light.

Those were also the days Jake started being distant to you, as if the old days relieved itself once again.

You had no idea why, but since you were too preoccupied with your new crush, you didn't think much of it.

A month later has passed, you completely had gotten over that barista crush you had, and now you were already studying for your final exams, though your mind was clouded with Jake.

You curse at your conscience. Scolding yourself saying that you're already over him way too long ago, and that you were so sure that his feelings never involved ever liking you back ever, even once.

So why…

Why did that night happen?

"Wow, Y/N," Jake speaks out softly, his eyes sparkling at the sight of your prom attire.

"Is it bad? I didn't have time to do my hair so I just went with this really lazy Elsa hairdo—"

"You're beautiful." He grins from ear to ear, in which you subconsciously mirror his expression. The silence was too loud for the air between the both of you. You were unable to move, as well as your eyes that didn't seem to look elsewhere other than his eyes.

He looked dashing with his tux, and you couldn't get yourself to tell it to him.

You didn't need to, Jake already knew just by the looks of you staring at him, there was no need for him to even ask.

He took a step forward and reluctantly, yet gently offered you his hand.

"May I have this dance… With you?"

You took a few seconds to answer, darting your gazes to his visage and down to his idly shaking hand in front of you.

You took a deep breath, placing your hand on his, and that was enough for Jake to know that you wanted it. You wanted to dance with him.

You walk with him to the dance floor, your eyes never leaving his figure, even when you two have already started to dance.

The way his hands were placed on your waist left you with a burning mark on your cheeks, most likely your whole body. Everything in your body felt like numbing out just by the bare of his hands. Your hands nervously snakes up to the back of his neck, and the stars in your eyes only showed up when the man was in view.

There was only silence between you, and it's not the silence you fear anymore. It was more of a silence you two were fond of. The sole fact that you two have never been this close before, and this dance being the very first time you get to feel Jake up close as this, made you feel warm and comfortable. The same thing goes for Jake.

He couldn't take his eyes off of you, he never wanted to anyway. All he could see is you and only you, and that's what made the atmosphere in your little couple bubble perfectly complacent.

"So…" Jake whispered, breaking the silence between you and him. Feet continues to dance through the rhythm

"So…?" You repeated, raising a brow confusingly.

"About the barista… Are you perhaps… over him?"

You chuckled, at the man's words. It was out of nowhere for him to ask about your past crush. You never considered this question and it didn't seem like he's curious about your feelings either… it's that this was the first ever conversation you're having with him after a few weeks of not talking.

You two still proceed to hangout due to being in the same friend group. Although, conversations were never present between you and Jake.

So him having these as his first words to you left you stunned, however you are not about to show him that. Given that you already stated that you have moved on from him… right?

"I'm very much over him. Why do you ask?" You tilt your head slightly due to curiosity.

"Good." He flashed a grin, staying silent after, realizing that he completely ignored your question.

You didn't want to keep asking and get him mildly annoyed, so you only stayed quiet.

Just how Jake wanted it.

The two of you continued to dance, it has been a few minutes and your feet still followed the rhythm of the song. You didn't seem to want to let go of him just yet, and so did he.

Jake was intoxicated by the smell of your perfume, inhaling then following that sweet aroma coming from your neck, as if he was attracted to it, leading him to lean his head on your shoulder.

Jake's eyes were closed, feeling the moment, as he squeezed your waist tighter, causing your body to feel against his.

You seem to lose control over your body. You felt like plopping down like a blob any minute. Despite that feeling, all it could do was just follow the steps to the rhythm of Jake's feet. Your eyes only stayed widened the whole time, feeling the warmth of his skin touching your bare shoulder was something you couldn't bear. You wanted to break down right at the moment, your heart was palpitating for the reason of your position right now.

"I'm glad." Were the very words Jake had said before his lip placed a peck at the side of your neck, letting out a faint gasp as that contact alone completely freezes your entire body. Jake stands back after, his eyes centered to his hand that was tenderly sliding down your arm and onto your hand.

"Let's go?"

You look at him and nod slowly as he holds your hand. following Jake out of the dance floor, guiding you back to your table and leaving you once he had finally taken you to your seat.

Then he never came back for you for the rest of the event.

You felt breathless, you were in a complete daze while reminiscing that thought. Leaving you frustrated for the reason of losing focus of your current studies.

"How else can I focus if all I could think about is Jake, Jake, and Jake?! " You groaned. Ranting endlessly to yourself, slumping your body on the soft mattress of your bed, completely surrendering your studies and promising yourself to continue tomorrow instead, by the time you get home.

You were babbling to the air for a good minute until your phone started to ring. Immediately picking it up to see Seeun's name calling.

"Hey? What's up?" You started.

"Sorry to keep this phone call short Y/N, but I'll text you more of the deets after. I'm not gonna go to school tomorrow because of an emergency and I was wondering if I could give you all my homework requirements tomorrow before you go to school? Just give it to Sheon please… Sorry for the bother I really am." Seeun stated, sounding petrified.

You quickly obliged to her simple favor thinking her situation must be grave since Seeun wasn't the one to skip classes whenever she pleases, so after the phone call, Seeun texted you once more of the details of her situation and why she couldn't come to school the next day.

School period ended early due to the heavy pour of the weather. Although even with the beneficial period cutoff, you didn't bring an umbrella. Only hoping that one of your friends has a spare, or could share with you.

You waited under a tree beside the gate of your school. now you're only waiting for the rest of the gang to come by… Though only one came.

"Let's go." Jake opened the umbrella, tilting his head in a direction where you all normally headed.

"Huh? Aren't we gonna wait for the rest?" You asked confusingly, looking back to the school in case you'd spot either Tsuki or Hoon.

"Sunghoon went home early due to an emergency, Tsuki just didn't go to school, and Seeun texted me saying to pass her excuse letter to her adviser… They didn't tell you?" Jake's perplexed expression intimidated you, you only knew Seeun's case although not the rest, so you only shrugged as a response and not by words.

So you'll be walking home with Jake… only. Just the two of you, in one umbrella.

Jake notices you being empty umbrella-handed, and so he walks closer to have you jumping in it with him.

"Come on, let's just share." He offered, in which you immediately accepted. You know he was Jake, though you were desperate to at least be kilometers far from school

A few walks far away from school, the two of you haven't said a word to each other. The awkward air you felt suffocated the most is present, and your muddled thoughts and memories, especially the time with him at the prom, didn't help you regain the confidence to break such an air… Though you had the gut feeling you had to at least talk to him, now that you're this close once again, reminding you of the distance you two had during the prom.

You winced at that memory, causing the other to look at you discerned.

"Is everything okay?" He asked timidly, stopping his tracks as his eyes focused on your disgusted expression.

"I-I'm fine, I just… remembered something super embarrassing." You reasoned, not wanting to tell him what really overcame in your head.

Jake slid it off and continued walking, it was another long series of silence between you and Jake once again.

You swore 2 months ago you were just nudging his arms because of his jokes… Why would you both feel this awkward and have your friendship with him regress after it was doing so well.

The next thing you knew, you two were already in your neighborhood, a few more walks until Jake reached his home, and then yours.

You thought to yourself that Jake would go home then pass you the umbrella instead, however to your surprise, Jake walked past the gate of his home which left you with questions.

"Are you walking me home?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, nothing. I just thought you were gonna stop by your house and give me your umbrella instead, since my home is still a few more walks from yours."

"It's raining hard, you shouldn't be out here on your own—"

As he was about to end his sentence, a loud thunder struck and white lightning flashed the sky, causing you to shriek, holding the umbrella to cover you well from the pouring rain.

"Oh my god.." You muttered, Tightening the grip of the umbrella handle that Jake was also holding.

"Oh god— I'm sorry, let's get home fast please." You yell out in fear, your heart rapidly beating as if another flash of lightning and shriek of thunder was about to come by in a few seconds. Your fearful grip on the umbrella still stayed, as you started walking at a fast pace that Jake immediately catched up on, which goes on until you both have reached your home.

You both stood at the front of your porch for a short minute, you had no idea why Jake stopped his tracks, you only stopped for the reason that he stopped first.

and so without having much patience, you recklessly hopped on to the porch, partially getting yourself wet, even if your hand was still at the contact of Jake's umbrella handle. Before you moved completely to avoid getting more drenched from the rain, you felt another hand gently placed on top of yours.

Yet again— another series of silence as you two stare at each other's eyes. Jake slowly makes his steps onto your porch. The contact on the umbrella didn't seem to break, as the two of you transferred your gazes to where your hands were placed. You didn't want to let go, yet deep down, you were scared, your head was spinning to nowhere as his hand never let go of yours.

You began to conflict with yourself, your eyes slowly transitioning to a horrified state. A feeling you don't understand— a feeling so puzzling you don't even dare to question, having this whole ordeal with Jake is as just as confusing as your current, incoming, outburst.

"What… is wrong with you?" You let out, eyes welled up, and Jake only stared at your rapid change in demeanor. Your hand intensely retracts the hold on the umbrella as Jake's fingers automatically close the umbrella.

"Y-You're completely all over the place?" Your breath hitched, then facing behind from his view, your hands shrieked due to the heat building up your anger, than more so being it from the cold temperature of the rainy weather.

"I don't know… back then you were so fun to be with but now you have become so distant. I have no idea on how— or what happened that made you like that. I don't know if I did anything wrong or that made you feel uncomfortable in a way because If I did something— anything… I'm so sorry." You ranted, catching your breath as your eyes blazed onto the other, who remained quiet, drooping his eyes down to the wooden floor, unable to respond back.

"But… That one night, that one prom night…" You paused. Jake's head rises as he hears those very words from your tongue.

"You know damn well what I was talking about, do you?"

Jake's unresponsiveness didn't help calming down your systems. Instead, it made you more infuriated.

After a few seconds of silence, waiting for something, at least anything from the man, there was none.

You inhale the cold breeze from the continuous pouring rain just in front of you, as your hands subconsciously brush your hair messily in an infuriating manner. "I don't know what your intentions were that night. The way you asked me about that barista, Yeonjun? If I got over him… and that kiss— the way you kissed my neck? How?!— do you normally just do that to other girls…? 'Cause Jake I've been hanging out with you for the entirety of this school year and I've never seen you do anything like that,"

"Or maybe that truth or dare game? A lot changed after that game, after I confessed my old feelings for you. What did I do?— What happened to you? I assured you they were old feelings but a few months after that you started giving me signals, probably old me would've fan out to be honest... Were you just trying to relive my old feelings for you? Is it because you wanted my feelings to just stay attracted to you? Is that it? Because you are absolutely sick for that Sim Jaeyun… You don't know how vulnerable and conflicted I became when you started to change. I can't even grasp the situation or If I'm saying anything right because— I… don't understand you. One day you'll be quiet and wouldn't even say a single word to me, and then go I'm glad you moved on from mister barista and then leave me by the side and never come back? What was that? " Your voice echoed through the open porch. your words could easily be overlayed by the hard rain in the background yet they were loud enough for the man to comprehend. Every emphasis of the words and events you mention brings Jake back to his mind and recalls those memories that ever happened.

"I'm sorry." Finally a word from him, yet not something you had ever hoped for him to say.

Your comprehension of his response was him apologizing for doing any of the things you have just said. Cracking a part of your heart at the indirect confirmation of the man's intentions.

"I'm sorry..? You're sorry? Sorry?! "

"You're so fucking… fuck— selfish for that! You're nothing but a selfish freak who doesn't— who never thinks about others feelings. Only doing it for their own satisfaction and—"

"You don't know how vulnerable I am at the mere sight of you, Y/N."

You stopped mid sentence, stunned as your eyes darted to his standing figure. You take a few steps towards him, as if you wanted to hear his statement more clearly by the loud thundering climate.

It was at this moment that you realized that the following small thunders and big flashes of lightning didn't seem to startle you. All your focus only went to exposing your wholehearted antipathy to the other.

Jake's breath hitched the same as yours earlier on, it's like it was his turn to let out his jumbled feelings to you.

"There were no spare days where you didn't flood my thoughts. Day and night, Y/N, you were always present and I had no plan on stopping that infestation."

His dark eyes pierced through you, feeling the rush of the heavy wind kiss through your figure.

Despite his confession, you did not give the same treatment to how he was when you were on your outburst.

"Then why? Why would you do all that?"

"Because you told me, well— told us before that you stopped liking me by the time new years rolled around."

"You remembered the new years part?"

"Very much, yes,"

"Look, I didn't know my feelings would come to this. You were a fun friend, you were a great company, although I couldn't bear myself to be so near you after a few months."

"Why?" You whispered, eye furrowed at the confessions of the other.

"I always think that I might do something I'll regret." He takes a few steps backwards, the air between the both of you feeling as soothing as it was just suffocating and intense before.

"Like what?" You take a few steps forward, the same amount of steps Jake took.

"Y/N… stop" He took a few more steps backwards, rebuffing your ways on pushing him to answer your question.

You stepped closer and closer, and now too close to Jake, repeating the same question in an attempt to pressure him into bursting out his answer due to the stress and the annoyances of your nagging.

It was only a matter of time before Jake gave in, biting his lips in frustration as he felt his head heat up so close to combustion.

"goddammit Y/N." He aggressively grabs the collar of your blouse and proceeds to pull you 3 inches close to his face.

You swore you felt your heartbeat stop for a brief moment at the sudden contact of his nose onto yours. The way you felt his breath fanning over your lips, sensing the tense air he had been inhaling since he had stepped a foot on your porch.

It was only a matter of movement to have your lips connect yet Jake resisted the urge, releasing his grip from your blouse, causing you to limp backwards.

Your gaze at Jake with a baffled look, processing the thing that just happened.

It was hard to convince yourself that whatever that was, actually happened.

It was real, you felt it, everything.

There was silence. It felt like a wall being compressed and will mush the both of you into some sort of unrelenting concoction. Jake was too stunned about his own actions, turning around to storm off at the scene and probably forget that this ever happened.

As he took a few steps off the porch, you realized that you had enough with the distance, you felt so far away with Jake always running away all the time. Your mind was everywhere, especially the feeling of his face as similar as that again. You were desperate to know how he really felt for you, and you couldn't just let him walk away and watch again as his figure dissipated into the heavy pouring rain.

"Jake." You utter as you grip on his arm, spinning him around to face you as your hands snake up onto the back of his neck, tip toeing to reach the height of his lips, yet it was no reach. Even with what you had just done, you weren't about to kiss him anyway, you wanted to see how he'd react with your sudden motion.

It was only a matter of seconds until Jake attacked his lips on yours. It was an aggressive contact at first, sensing the desperation of his lips yet contrasting from his hands that carefully held your face as if it was glass.

You'd be lying if you said weren't desperate for it either, you had craved this type of contact ever since prom, it was only regretful to ever admit it personally. But now that you're fulfilling your most secret desire, most likely that this would be the time to embrace it.

God, you want him so bad.

Too bad.

The both of you lost the sense of surroundings, as you carelessly pushed him to the ramp of your porch as your lips were still intact. Leaving a quick gasp from Jake's end due to the startling feeling from the cold contact of his body.

The sudden hum coming from Jake's voice seized you to let go yet Jake didn't want your lips to part from his. Even with the force of his hands holding your face to him for much longer, he eventually gave in. Hands loosen the hold on your cheeks. You tensely took a few steps backwards as you started panting, your chest pumping in and out with Jake in unison, catching both of your remaining breaths and remaining comprehension from that predicament.

Your eyes pierced through Jake's gaze, your breathing is shaky, same goes for your hands… your body's frozen in place, all of these yet the reason does not ivolve the the cold temperature of the weather.

None of you exchanged any words. Instead, it was quiet, yet again, the area only filled with the small and loud droplets of the rain… It's merely raining anymore, as you only focus on him, hear him, and feel him.

Nothing makes sense at this moment. Honestly, you wanted to reach your senses to sense yet things just felt too out of the ordinary.

"Y/N, I'm sorry." Jake came through. Rushing for your comfort. Although you ran back with the presence of terror, opening your front door and slamming the door in front of him at the nick of time. You were speechless per say, you couldn't describe words, you couldn't speak out your thoughts. The sudden walk out suddenly sent Jake into a shock of panic.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry, please— I didn't mean to—"

He proceeds to passively knock on your door repeatedly. He whispered a curse to himself as to resent the contact you two had shared. Biting his lips in pure regret at the mere memory a few minutes ago.

"Y/N please." The knocks still kept coming through.

You only stood against the door, paralleled from the man on the other side. You had no idea what course of action you were going to take. You were furious about the distance he kept himself from earlier, and then suddenly it was all gone because of a kiss. Yet here you are, setting up walls to him.

You didn't want any more walls or distance to grow, you wanted him to be forward to you and he'll do so.

Now, it's your turn to talk, before regret suffices.

"Shit. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… I really am—"

"Jake," Your voice muffled against the door, which Jake had heard, immediately backing away at the click of the doorknob.

You twist the knob and pull it to see a distressed Jake in front of you. His doleful eyes locked onto your figure, waiting for you to tell him something, anything.

"I'm not… mad at you." you muttered.

Jake stood quiet as his look at you stayed bewildered.

"I was just startled… I didn't know what to do— or what to say." You plead, your eyes are red as it remains glistened.

No words came out from Jake, possibly dumbfounded by your response.

"When did you realize you liked me, by the way?" You asked out of nowhere, attempting to tone down the tension in your system from earlier.

"When you started talking about that barista more… and it's 'like'… without the D." He admitted it extremely easily, causing you to subconsciously let out a short chuckle unexpectedly at his last words.

"What?" Jake's brows furrowed at your uncalled reaction, his smile perking up at the sight of you smiling at him.

"You just said that so straightforwardly, it… it kinda caught me off guard."

"There's no point in getting nervous around you again, kissing you was my last straw."

"Oh, so you finally loosened your walls? "

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

The both of you shared the same laughter. Eyes showing genuine feelings of forgiveness. There was no need of words to let the both of you be reminded of anything, yet it still felt guilting.

"What if you become distant to me again?" you voiced your concern, the faint smile you had dropping almost at an instant at the thought of that question.

"I won't," The man only took deep breaths as he slowly took a few steps forward, stepping foot in your home. The tense air that compressed between yours and Jake made you shiver, it felt ticklish, although you concealed the feeling as you didn't want this distance to part with you.

"I like you, and even more than that,"

From his aggressive grip behind your head earlier to a much more gentle approach as he slowly wraps you in for a hug, chin laying softly on top of your head, and his hand transferring to the back of your hair, patting gently purely because he wanted you against him, he wanted to be the one to calm you down from his mistakes. His eyes in pure concern as if he had done so much unspeakable pain.

You, on the other hand, were extremely glad at his sudden action, feeling too content within his embrace. It was at this moment that you knew that you indeed love him too dearly, and you only hope for him to reciprocate these feelings similar to yours.

"And I'm grateful for myself to even say this so boldly to you, even if it meant breaking your heart."

It only startled you once more when the man had continued his words after a minute of pausing. The words coming out from lips breezed against your ear, making you hear the mumbled words almost clearly.

You sneered at his response, causing the man to change his expressions to mild uncertainty.

"Silly, you didn't break my heart… Well, kinda."

"I'll make up for it?" He offered, the warmth of his breath getting through to your scalp caused your body to briefly shiver at the feeling.

"How so?" You asked cheekily, transferring your gaze up to the toned down storm.

"Tomorrow, I'll pick you up?"

You stayed silent at his invitation, the other not having a quick peek of your reaction which led him to assume the worst due to your unresponsiveness.

"Or not… I'm sorry. Am I going too fast?"

With this realization, he parts his hand from your hair as he pushes himself from you unhurriedly.

Alternatively you quickly pull both of his arms back to your clingy embrace.

"No you're not. I just like being in this position with you right now," You muffled against his jacket, now having your warm breath fanning over the fabric of his cloth sent heat up to his cheeks, bringing his hand back to where it was before.

"Let's talk about dates another time… Let's focus about what everything is right now."

the clasp between one another was definitely at its high. It's something you don't seem to want to let go of, as if you're addicted. Now that you felt him like this more closer than before, you wanted this to go on eternally. Now that he's with you probably having the same exact feelings, you're not scared anymore. Not the distance, not the words, not his presence.

All of those became a comfort, and honestly, this was too good to be true.

As you drown yourself in your own dreamy thoughts, Jake's head transfers to the side of your head, tracing you out of a segment of your endless realizations, shivering you in the process due to the ticklish interval.

"How about you Y/N? Do you like me?" He questions.

You remembered daydreaming this moment every night during so many months back, that era of you hoping that someday it'll happen.

and every night you always reply and say the same words in the same scenario.

"I do, and more than just… like. I am insanely in love with you."

With just that, it had sent a critical hit on Jake's beating heart. He couldn't believe that you were still up to loving him again after all that he made her feel. Yet here you are, giving him a chance.

It still left a pinch of guilt within Jake for the reason of what he did to you that initiated your outburst of emotions from earlier. He was stunned to see that side of you and he wanted to never witness that side of you, ever.

It was at this moment that Jake would promise himself that he'd take care of you for the rest of his life, and that he wouldn't spare a single mistake of his to have you return to the feeling of heavy sorrow because of him again.

EXTRA:

"Where's Jake and Y/N?" Seeun asked worriedly. Standing beside the gate alongside Tsuki and Sunghoon as they watch crowds of students walk past the gate. Only waiting for their remaining friends to have their respective classes to be dismissed, yet it has been almost 30 minutes since they've been waiting and anxiety crawls up on their systems.

"I don't know? What if they didn't go to school today?" Tsuki responds, darting her eyes left to right inspecting as if both of you might be a part in the sea of students.

"If they didn't go to school, they would have told us." Seeun grumbled, tip-toeing as if she could spot you or the man anytime soon.

"Oh— Oh! Hey!—" Sunghoon halted one of the students who they knew to be your classmate. "Uhm, question, did Y/N go to school today?" Sunghoon asked, the student paused for a moment since the sudden question had startled him. "Y-Yeah, but she went out really early… Something about waiting for her boyfriend or something. Only from what I assume though."

"Boyfriend? " All said in unison as the two girls' darted their focus to your classmate. All three gave a concerned look as their brows remained furrowed at the abrupt revelation.

Sunghoon uttered a thanks as the student continued his path, still leaving all three of them in a state of shock.

"Y/N? and… boyfriend? " Tsuki recalled, still too stunned about what your classmate had said.

"What about Jake?— Oh hey! " Seeun's demeanor switches in an instant by the sight of Jake's classmate who he always walks out the school with before meeting up with them.

Seeun asked the same thing as Sunghoon, although now related to Jake.

"Oh, he's with that Y/N girl I'm sure, since I remember seeing the same girl who's waiting there to the one who hangs a lot with you guys here."

"Well… what are they doing in— Where?! " Seeun was at the brink of freaking out yet remained her decorum.

"She was waiting outside our classroom, probs waiting for Jake… That's all I know."

Seeun now uttered a thanks to him as Jake's classmate walked away.

There was a confusing silence between the air of the three friends for a few minutes. All dumbfounded by the fact about... anything, related to you and Jake.

The stray thinking lasted until Seeun spotted you and Jake talking and laughing at each other at a distance.

All of them locking their gazes to both of you with a menacing look. Which the you and Jake had caught on immediately, only locking their gazes back until the both of you stopped in front of them.

"Let me guess…" Sunghoon started, placing his fingers on his chin as if he was speculating (the obvious).

"Girlfriend, boyfriend. Boyfriend, girlfriend." He stated as he pointed to one of you respectively.

Your eyes grew wide, startled by their assumption. "Oh What?— No no no no! We're not..." You look at the man with red tinted cheeks beside you, signalling him to not feel hurt in your next words.

However, before you could continue, Jake's hand instantly pulled your shoulder closer beside him, letting out an nervous smile from you while Jake's smile stood calm and collected.

"We're not a thing!"

"Yes we are."

"Jake!"

"We'll end up being a thing anyway so might as well think in advance."

Tsuki, Seeun, and Sunghoon all widened their eyes as they held in their screams of surprise.

"Y/N!" Seeun welled up as she shakes your arm aggressively, creating fake crying noises.

"We were just gone yesterday and suddenly you two are in a relationship the next day?!" Tsuki exclaimed.

You and Jake only let out shy giggles at their reactions. It was funny to see them at this state yet you had to tell them what really happened sooner or later.

All of you proceeded to walk out of school as the three bickered about your relationship with each other. Seeun mostly, seeing the side of you which was so down for the so-called 'boyfriend'. All of their voices mixed badly inside your little friend group bubble as they all ask the same thing yet ask them so messily.

As this was happening, Jake's hand softly landed on yours as a secret invitation to hold his, which you immediately complied. Squeezing his hand in an attempt to tease him, letting out a small "ow." from the other.

"You better tell us everything, okay?" Seeun rambled. everyone simultaneously agreeing to Seeun's words and nagging you to tell them the whole story.

Well, they'll be in for a longggg walk.

© seungiepup. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.

[bowandcurtsey]

Hello, I saw your requests were open

If you don't mind id like to request headcanons of nozel falling for a commoner squadmate s/o? She's very sweet, kind and lovely and has healing magic and she always takes care of him when he's overworking himself or heals him after a tough mission and he was suspicious of her at first but then he understood that her kindness was genuine and he fell in love?

You guys are really quick to make requests, haha! I love it, thank you for making me feel that I'm still relevant. (≧◡≦) I was afraid that I would be forgotten since I'm not as active in writing.

Also, I'm kinda high from alcohol so bear with me if there's a lot of errors.

I miss this grumpy royal so much

Characters: Nozel Silva x f! reader tw: unchecked works , soft and fluffy uwu

Nozel silva has a gigantic wall up around his heart. So he really doesn't trust anyone easily.

He doesn't despise commoners, it's just that he feels that commoners can't really get what it's like to be a royal. Not in a bad way, but like a lot of commoners think that royals have it easy and they have it tough.

Which is not true. Royals have certain stress to go through and certain things to uphold.

So when he met you, he had his guard high up in the skies. He doesn't like opening up because he felt vulnerable and he doesn't really like feeling weak.

At the start, you were just a healer to him. Like any other healers, just doing your job of healing people. He doesn't look down on you, in fact, he's appreciative and grateful for people like you.

He thought that you were just another commoner that wouldn't understand the difficulties of being a captain and a royal.

Until you told him "thank you for you hard work".

He was puzzled honestly, since you were the one doing him a favour by healing him.

But you said that your job was easy, and he had it tough, having to fight on the front lines so that commoners like you could be safe.

He had a good impression on you.

And then the next time, he met you on a battle field. You and your team were there as an emergency rescue mission because the fight was too chaotic and there were too many injured.

You healed him and you were really upset and worried for him. You cared for him and even went the extra mile, bringing him something to drink and some essence to drink.

You told him to "come home safe" and that you'll be waiting for him.

Nobody has done that before; telling him that they'll be waiting for him.

He was a little suspicious, wondering if you were trying to hit on him because he was a royal and a captain. But when he saw that this was how you treated everyone, he felt remorseful for thinking that way.

Compared to you, he was a sinner.

Slowly, he found himself wanting to be around you more. He looked for you all the time to heal himself.

He loved it when you fussed and worried for him.

And what made him realise he was in love was when he felt jealous when you cared for someone else. You fussed about Fuegoleon's injury, saying how it must have hurt and that he needed to be more careful.

It was then that he realised he wanted you to himself. It was a strange feeling for him, being so concerned about someone else that wasn't his family or squad.

It took him some time to accept his feelings and taking the first step to court you. He didn't know how actually, he was worried about what you might like or dislike, or if you might feel that he was too overwhelming.

This royal had tons of insecurity about himself.

He found himself wanting to talk to you and pour out his worries and anxiety.

But you always cared for him and gave him a sense of security. You told him not to overwork himself and to take good care of himself more.

Which not many have done so; people always wanted more and more out of him and they always expected perfection from him.

But with you, he felt at ease, and he felt like he could relax and throw all his worries out the window.

He knew that he couldn't see his future without you in it anymore.

He finally asked you out on a date and nothing in the world has ever felt so right for him. It was the best night of his life and he was the happiest he had been in awhile.

"do I have the honour of asking you to be mine?" he asked you on your third date. He wanted to ask you since the second date but he chickened out.

Of course you liked him too. You felt that everyone only saw the cold and ruthless side of Nozel, but you saw more than that; you saw that this royal was soft and kind inside and that he needed someone to love him and care for him and you had this strong urge to be his everything.

You saw how hardworking he was and how he always put the country and others before himself and it made you want to give him your all and be the one to protect him instead.

From then on, you never looked back. You wanted to give your all to take care of him and make him feel happy.

And he let you into his heart, baring his true self to you. And when Nozel Silva loves, he loves whole heartedly and made sure he would give everything in his power to make you the happiest lady on earth.

[vrisrezis]

Rocket and reader comforting one another during the blip?

You’re uncharacteristically quiet. Something rocket wasn’t used to, in fact it was unsettling to him. From the moment he had met you, you’d been nothing short of an annoyingly loud, talkative, easily excitable and overly outgoing individual. You were the heart of the group, and always brought everyone together. When everyone was arguing amongst themselves, bickering with one another over stupid bullshit, you were the one calming everyone down, encouraging everyone to work together. If they ever had a fight, you always encouraged apologies, talking things out. You had tried to keep up that front, around rocket and around nebula. In a way, you brought the two together as well. Gave them time to bond with one another and become friends and to find solace within eachother.

It was late at night now, and there was a somber silence that fell between you and rocket. He had come in to check up on you, something he had started making a habit of doing when he started to notice you stayed up pretty late, something you never did prior to the blip. You claimed that you just had a lot of energy, or that you just weren’t tired, or that you were learning more about terrans and their strange customs that you suddenly seemed interested in at 3 am. He wasn’t stupid, and he knew you were just trying to grieve in a way that you hoped nobody would notice. He knows what it’s like to hide his true feelings, in fear of vulnerability and judgement, but this was something far too huge for him to simply keep to himself. So he didn’t keep it to himself, he cried to you often about how he’d lost the only family he ever had, the only people that accepted him as is despite how much of an asshole he can be. But he never heard you cry. He had asked you so many times how you were doing, and you always said you were doing just fine. He never believed you.

It kinda hurt him, knowing you were keeping so much to yourself. He trusted you, enough to vent out his frustrations. And that takes a lot for rocket to do. Why didn’t you trust him? But honestly, he knew why. He’s the most emotionally constipated person you’ve ever met, along with nebula, and they were the only people you had left. No wonder you haven’t told them jack shit. But even before that, he realized, you were always helping everyone else, you never let anyone else help you. You always kept it together, you always kept a level head and always put on a smile and a brave face. You are the most selfless person he knows. So when do you get a chance to be selfish?

“So…” he finally says, and although in the moment he’s unsure what to say next he doesn’t think about it. Doesn’t try to think of what he’ll say first, like usual, he doesn’t think before he speaks. “you gonna actually talk to me or are you gonna dodge my question as per usual?” you says, and you feign confusion, raising a brow. He can’t help but roll his eyes, “you can fool everyone else, but you ain’t foolin me. I know you’re not out here just to look at the stars in the sky. You’ve seen it a million times and last time I checked, you didn’t give a shit about astrology.”

You finally sigh, patting the spot next to you, gesturing for him to sit. He does. He looks at you, and you’re far too tired to try and read the emotion on his face. If you had to guess, it was concern. Granted, you should’ve expected that. Normally you tell rocket almost everything, and you haven’t opened up at all to him since arriving on this planet, about everything that’s happened. Despite knowing him for years, you never ever opened up to him about how you felt about things. Even things that simply annoyed you.

You guys have been on this planet for a good 4 months now. 4 months since everything that happened, 4 months since you lost your family. Lost everything. You scratch the back of your head, “I don’t even know what to say.” you start, unsure of where you’re even gonna go with this. “I just… don’t know anymore..” you say, looking out to the sky in front of you. “Just tell me how you’re feeling.” your boyfriend says, grabbing onto your hand, rubbing a thumb over your knuckles. “You haven’t told me how you feel about any of this. How you really feel. It’s just us. No need to be strong in front of me.” he says, and you lay your head on top of his and finally let yourself cry for the first time in what felt like years. You vent your frustrations out to him, how you feel like you’ve failed everyone. How you lost your family, the first family that loved and cared for you, just like that. Like it was nothing.

You scream and cry to him, and he listens quietly. Just like you did for him, so many times.

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way (Dark Ending): Going Under, Part 2

Raider!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Raider!Tommy Miller x Fem!Reader

Spotify Playlist

Summery: After you give birth to Ellie in the cabin, Joel fins you and Tommy, besting Tommy in a fight. What happens to you? What happens to Ellie, Tommy, Lorenzo and the rest of the family Little One has acquired? How does Little One learn to cope with her new reality? Does she fall into the darkness that surrounds Joel and all he touches? Can Joel really change for you and your daughter?

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WARNING, graphic violence, murder, manipulation, the horrors, Joel being Joel, Tommy being kinda pathetic, Joel's weird sexual fantasies, breeding kink, abuse of power. Just.... all the bad.

Extra on the executions. Suicidal ideation. Sorry, I should've put tjat in the warnings first chapter but I just came up, so this is your warning now. Im tryingto think of all the hardest stuff that happens now so I can warn ahead of time but sometimes it just happens while writing you know? Things come up. Dont say i didnt want you with major character death

a/n who watched Avatar TLA growing up? There a reference to it at the very end.... that episode traumatized me

*******************

It had been four days before Joel came and got you. The room was cold from the cool outside air; it was far from freezing, only a crisp Wyoming early fall so far. This had proven a benefit, despite the way you shivered under tattered blankets, as it aired out the bucket of piss and shit that was your toilet.

Ellie had to be dead by now. Infants need to be fed regularly, every 2-3 hours according to Maura… your breasts hurt, they hurt so fucking bad sometimes you cried from just that… but it wasn’t a hard leap from your depressed mindset. The pain was aching and you had to squeeze the milk out of your engorged breasts just to have a little relief. Your vagina hurt, too. Luckily you had stopped bleeding, although you wished you’d just bleed out already. Everything was pain and your dreams in the few moments you were sleeping were filled with nightmares.

You weren’t sure what you were living for. You laid on the mattress hour after hour, staring at the broken glass from your fit, thinking you could easily kill yourself… The only thing that stopped you was the effort it would require. Dazed, almost… that was the best way to describe it, all the hours blurring together

Honestly, you hadn't expected Joel to return at all. You figured he killed Ellie or just let her starve, killed Tommy and would just let you waste away in this god forsaken room, the room where so much happened.

Tommy taking your virginity after you begged him, playing go fish for hours.

Joel raping you, loving you, cuddling you.

Nick.

When he walked into the room, you didn’t even look up. You didn’t have the energy anymore. When his strong arms scooped you up, leading you out of the piss-smelling room, you instinctively wrapped your arms and legs around him like before… it had been habit at this point, after a year of doing this and you were no stranger to your body betraying you.

Joel, in turn, held you close. “Just look what you’ve done, hermosa… but it’s okay, we can fix it.”

“No” you whine, head in the crook of his neck. Why was his smell comforting after all that had happened? “We can’t fix this.” Your baby is gone, after all you did to try and save her.

“Yes, yes we can, you just gotta be good.” Of course Joel thought this was fixable. Ellie was only ever his replacement for Sarah, so she was replaceable herself. Joel would put a baby in you again and if it was a boy? Another one. And another, and another until you died, then he’d move onto the next vulnerable young girl.

Joel took you outside. When you saw the raiders all surrounding the yard, a yard that had previously been your comfort, a place you imagined your baby playing, you figured this is where he killed you. You were ready.

“Watch her” And he went into the house. The sunshine and fresh air felt nice, you had to admit. When he returned, he carried a little bundle; the baby blanket Mrs. Munoz knitted, with Ellie’s little face barely peeking out.

“ELLIE!” Joy and sunshine filled your heart again, and suddenly nothing else matter than the fact your daughter lived. Ecstatic, you dash towards her as all the pain of earlier seeming long gone in your desperate need for her, but Joel wouldn’t let you have it just yet. He moved her out from his firm grasp, still holding her but seemingly threatening to drop her. “JOEL NO!”

“She’s safe, little one, don’t you worry… as long as you behave.” He went back to rocking her, a soft expression as he looked at his daughter.

“H-how is she alive? She didn’t feed, I thought- I thought she was dead!”

“You really think I’d let my daughter starve?” His voice was condescending, a slight scoff at the end. “C’mon now, you can’t be that stupid. I know there's not a lot going on in that bimbo housewife brain of yours but I thought you had a little more faith in you than this.” He was… he was laughing at you. All the things he did to you, all the things he’s said… why did this hurt so bad? Joel never called you stupid before… and didn’t he… he threatened to hurt her just a moment ago, didn’t he? Or did he? Maybe you were reading into it too much…

“I’m not… I’m not stupid.” Defensively, you spoke but your eyes remained on your daughter.

“Oh, of course not, sweet girl, of course not.” Was he making fun of you? Why were the other men chuckling? “But I had a plan incase you couldn’t produce milk. I’ve got a freezer full of breast milk from other women, and even some formula. It’s expired but, it’ll do in a pinch.”

As relieved as you were about Ellie living, guilt punched at you. “You… Joel, you took milk away from hungry babies?”

Joel rolled his eyes. “No, of course not. Mrs. Little Feather was producing an abundance so I paid her well for a stash, just in case. I’ll always protect my family” He turned to one of the men and nodded.

Tommy was pushed out the house, hands bound behind him and he was shoved to the ground.

“TOMMY!” But you didn’t dare move, not when Joel had Ellie.

“Honey, fuck, I’m sorry, I-” He was cut off by Joel kicking him in the stomach. Tommy’s left hand was bandaged up from the stabbing. 

But Tommy’s reveal wasn’t even the worst. Out of the house came  Zach and Lorenzo, bound and gagged, quickly followed by the biggest shock yet. June. It had been a whole year since you’d seen her, never even saying goodbye when you were ripped away from your family. The four of them knelt on the ground, hands tied behind their backs, Lorenzo and Zach at one end of the yard, Tommy and June behind them. Joel shoved you towards Zach and Lorenzo, the guards taking off their mouth gags.

Zach yelled your name. “Run!” But Lorenzo knew better. Lorenzo knew there was no running from Joel, and there was no leaving Ellie behind. You stumble towards them, taking them in your arms. Joel was going to kill them.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…” You sob, knowing this was because of you.

“Sweetheart.” Lorenzo’s voice called to you, oddly calm given the circumstances. “Sweetheart, look at me.” He waited until you looked him, Lorenzo’s large, brown, droopy eyes calming you the way they always did. “It’s okay. Zach and I… we’ve already made peace with this. It’s gonna be okay.”

“No it’s not!” You protest. “He’s gonna kill you both we will have NOTHING!”

Zach. “You’ll have Dolli.” You look to your big brother. “And I know it’s hard, and I know it’s shit right now, honey it’s shit, but you can’t leave her with Joel, okay? So you gotta do this. Think of mom, think of all she did so we could survive.”

A fresh bout of tears. You sniffle, smelling the grass and the dirt and the filth surrounding you. “But I can’t.” You sob violently. You can’t do this without help, you never could. 

“You can-”

“I’m not strong!”

Lorenzo. “You’ve already been strong, always. You survived a lifetime of hell and you put up a hell of a fight, again and again. You’re gonna raise Dolly to be strong like you, okay?”

Ellie. Ellie needed you. Nothing else mattered but her. “Her name… her name Ellie. Joel chose Dolly, I chose Ellie June.”

Zach smiled. “Ellie June. I love it.”

“Your goddaughter, Zach.”

He nodded. “I’ll keep an eye on her, I promise. We both will.”

Joel steps up, still holding Ellie close to his chest with his left hand. “Alright, ‘nuff talk’n”

“No, Joel, please!” You desperately cling to your brothers, a feeble attempt to save their lives when you feel yourself being picked up by familiar arms; Tommy wrapped a strong arm around your middle pulling you away. “TOMMY LET ME GO!”

Kicking, screaming, fighting, you try to pull off him but your legs dangle, treading air.

“Joel.” Tommy called to his brother. “Dolly’s ears.” He referenced the baby in his arms as Joel pulled out the gun.

“There’s a silencer.”

Horror and anguish as you cry for your family, Lorenzo and Zach both mouthing that they loved you although you couldn’t hear a sound anymore, except the sharp eeeeee and muffled voices. The panic had set it.

Lorenzo and Zach come closer together, their bound up finger intertwining together. Joel strides up the the couple, covers Ellie’s ears with his hand and chest and-

BANG! BANG!

Zach and Lorenzo’s bodies felt limp to the ground, and you didn’t have it in you to scream any more. You went into shock, freezing up and zoning out, only barely aware of Joel comforting Ellie as she cried; no doubt startled from the shooting and commotion. 

Joel spoke to his men, but you weren’t sure what he said… the only thing in your sights was your dead family and he thought that June and Tommy were probably next…wait, when was Tommy untied?

Joel hand grabbed your face and you heard a faint ‘Joel, stop’ but he didn’t. It was the middle of the sentence before you started to understand again. “-are both dead now. Jack is dead, Maura is dead. But her,” He pointed his gun at June, stepping towards her. “She’s alive. Zach tried to take her, thinking it’d save her. Look what good that did huh?”

You couldn’t speak, but Tommy did. “C’mon, man, she’s got nothing to do with this, don’t kill her.”

“Well Thomas, I’m glad you care so much, that’ll make the next part easier.”

“What are you-”

Joel ignored him. “Set her down.” Tommy did. You wobbled a bit but got to your feet, trying to concentrate on behaving… Zach was right, you needed to do this for Ellie. He walked back to you. “See how easily he listens to me? Like a guard dog. Tommy always was good at following orders.” He looked too Tommy again. “Take three steps back.” Tommy did. “Spin around” Tommy rolled his eyes, but did. “Shake you butt”

“Joel-”

“Do it Tommy”

Tommy did, looking humiliated in the process he wiggled his hips.

“Oh come ooooon” Joel laughs. “Put on a show”

“This is humiliating”

“THAT’S THE POINT!” 

You wince at the outburst, wanting to hold Ellie so painfully bad… her little nose was getting runny from the cold, even with a little hat on.

Joel raised the gun to Ellie, and Tommy immidietly complied, shouting at him to knock it off. Jaw set tight, Tommy bent over and stuck out his butt, shaking it to the chuckles of the other men. Tommy fucking Miller, Joel’s previous right hand man. Feared leader, reduced to this indignity… You looked over to June, still bound and gagged and on her knees, looking utterly confused.

“Good job, Tommy” Joel turned back to you. “See how easy it was for Tommy to listen to me? Always been like that, following me around like a lost puppy, desperate for my approval… you know why I untied his hands, little one?” He didn’t wait for your answer. “Because I need you to know he watched. He watched me kill your brother and Lorenzo, he held you back while he watch. He watched me take you, he watched me fuck you on the table, he watched me brand you, and if he had been here last week he would’ve watched as I hung you.”

The whimper from your mouth at the memory is pathetic, but you keep your mouth shut as your eyes cry. 

Joel perked up. It was like a shift, that dramatic change in his personalities that was so hard to keep up with. “So here’s my vision! It’s gonna take a while until we can all trust each other but I want us to all be a family.” He nudged his gun, and one of the men moved to June. Joel must have planned this all out, orchestrated it… He gave the gun to his man, and yanked down June’s gag. It was clear she had been crying heavily, but would not give Joel the dignity of begging for her life. June was strong like that. Sweet, kindhearted; a soft person who was undeniably stubborn. “Beautiful thing, aren’t you. Gonna make such a pretty wife.”

June was too proud to beg, but you’d been long suffering indigities. You had no pride left. “No, no, no, no, no JOEL! Don’t do this, I’ll be good, I promise!”

“Relax, bebita.” He laughed at you. “She’s not for me. You’re the only one for me, you know that right? You gave me my daughter back, you’ll always be my wife, no matter what.”

You were more confused than ever; a cooling breeze rustled your skirt, making you realize just how damn sweaty you’d gotten during all this. “Then what-”

Joel took the collar of June’s shirt, dragging her towards Tommy and throwing her at him as she squeaked in shock. Although he caught her, diving towards her falling body and preventing it from hitting the ground Tommy looked as confused as you did.

“I don’t want-”

“She’s your wife now”

“JOEL!” He held her and June clung to him. “This is insane, I don’t want a wife!”

Uninterested, Joel shrugged him off. “Fuck her, don’t, I don’t really care.” Joel strode towards you again but stopped to look over his shoulder at Tommy. “But knowing you, you probably will. Just a matter of whether you hold her down or not.”

Tommy, for all his weaknesses and flaws… you knew he was not that type of man.

“You and June will live in your old room. She can’t leave the room unsupervised until I say so” He turned to you. “Same with you, little one. But Tommy’s gonna watch you both. Know why?”

Finally, fucking finally, Joel handed you your daughter and you scooped her up, sobbing. “Hey baby, hi. Mommy’s here, yeah, mommy’s here now, it’s okay”

The sun was beginning to set, the shadows of the trees casting long over your dead family. “Because I’m choosing to spare his life, He owes me. And if we can all get along, no more run’n, no more fighting, no more ‘Joel stop!’” he mocked. “Then the 5 of us and whatever other children we’re blessed with can all live together as one big happy family.”

*

Joel sat you between his legs like you always used to after a bath, Ellie in both your arms as he nursed. “Knew you’d fuck up that room, little one. My brave girl. Always so strong, so resilient. You wanted to get to Dolly, didn’t you?”

“Yes” it was the truth, at least. You couldn’t help but feel comfort in Joel’s arms even now… what was wrong with you? Why were you like this? How had he broken you down this badly? “Just… just wanted to be with her…”

“I understand. She’s perfect, isn’t she?”

“Absolutely perfect” and she was, Ellie was everything.

A knock on the door; Joel beckoned them in.

“Watch your fucking eyes.” He snapped at his man bringing you food and water, despite this very man having been there when you were raped in the kitchen… a little breastfeeding wouldn’t had much to the fantasies. 

When Ellie was done, fallen quickly asleep, Joel took her and laid her in her crib before doing what you knew was only inevitable. 

He laid down beside you, handings trailing you body, muttering about much he missed you, how much he missed your body. “My perfect girl…” In gentle whispers, he spoke praises into your mouth between kisses, hand trailing between your legs. You hated your body for responding to him, you hated the way he made you feel so good and you hated how you would kiss him hours after murdering your brother and friend… But Ellie. Ellie is what mattered. Ellie needed to be safe, she needed her mom, and she needed no more of her family dead. So, you kissed Joel. You kissed Joel the way you had kissed Tommy only earlier this week as he swore to you he’d be the father of the child in that crib. Your life with Tommy crumbled down before you, as did any chance of happiness.

“Joel, I haven't bathed in days…” 

“Don’t care, need you”

“Joel it huuurts” You begin to cry, despite knowing that only ever has turned him on more. “Please?” 4 days was not a lot of time to heal, the tearing still evident in you.

Pulling away, Joel looks at you, cupping your face with large, calloused hands. “We need to work together on this, little one. Give a little, get a little. For Dolly.”

Damn him. Damn him and the way he made your stomach burn, damn him and the way his touch felt so good and how you wanted to just be a happy family with him even now… And damn him for knowing how to use Ellie to manipulate you.

“Can we… can we do anal?”

The surprise was evident on his face, bed creaking as he sat up. “You’d prefer to take it in your ass instead of your pussy?”

As you gaze up at him, the concern on his face was clear… oh how he confused you. “I think it would hurt less.”

His features softened as you spoke, laying back down beside you to kiss your neck. “Just focus on my hand right now, sweet girl.” And you did. You did because you were a mess, you were disgusting, you were heartbroken and sad and lonely and you wanted Tommy but you had Joel and he had treated you well didn’t he? Maybe this was survivable… maybe. But you had to please him, and Joel always made you cum. Your pleasure turned him on… so you allowed yourself to sink into the swirling touch of Joel Miller’s fingers.

His touch was gentle but pressing and urgent; patience yet needy, as if making you cum would rebuild the bubble that he had built all those months… and it just might. Your cunt feel empty when it pulses around nothing but you are thankful you are able to get this wet, to orgasm still… The natural lubrication will help with taking his dick up your ass. When the climax was over, you took the chance to relax… it would hurt less if you relaxed.

“Roll over” He ordered, and you did as you were told before Joels straddled your thighs, hands rubbing up and down your mostly-clothes body. “Such a pretty girl… such a perfect girl, and all mine… I don’t care that Tommy fucked this sweet little pussy” Joel reached down to rub your swollen lips. “I don’t care. Once you’re healed up, I’m gonna cum inside you every goddamn day until you give me another baby, gonna fuck a baseball team into you.”

Of course he is. Of course. You wouldn’t expect nothing else from him; he wanted to keep you trapped with him forever… All the love you felt for Ellie was going to multiply tenfold, and you could never, ever leave with that many.

As Joel lined his cock up, swiping it up and down your asscrack and the crease of your thighs, you burry your face in the pillow. Joel wasn’t going to prep you at all, was he? He was going to just fuck you, rip you open and punish you-

“Oh little one… you’ve had a long day, haven't you? Yeah… You’ve been good, I’ll meet you halfway” Joel slid his cock between your plump thighs.

You lift your head off the pillow. “What? What are you doing?”

He began to pump, fucking your thighs and making the bed creak enough you made a mental note to ask Jack to oil it- fuck, Jack was dead, dead because he saw you trying to escape and took you back to Lorenzo. Dead because he went to get Zach to save his life… All of them ended up dead anyway. Jack, Maura, Lorenzo, and my dear brother who had only ever tried to help you. Now June was essentially Tommy’s wife just as you were Joel’s and although you trusted Tommy not to hurt her, she was in a house full of raiders… and Joel.

“Let it out, baby, let it out.” Joel cooed as he thrusted between your legss; one or twice he spit down between them to keep the lubrication going but it wasn’t long before he pulled out, jerking himself as he painted a picture of his cum on your ass and thighs. “Beautiful girl… beautiful.” The cum was like lotion as he rubbed it along you, rubbing your aching muscles… Did he love you? Truly?

When Joel leaves to boil water for the bath, you go to pick up Ellie. You needed her, needed her painfully. You wanted to make up for lost time in those four days she was gone, and away from you; she needed skin to skin, she needed love, she needed her mama��s voice… she needed you.

Joel could hear you from outside the door, peaking through the crack to watch you cuddle his daughter… you were a good mom. You loved Sarah like he did, you cared for her, you wanted the best for her. You just needed to learn, that’s all. Learn that Joel was the only man that mattered, learn that giving Sarah a family with siblings and two loving parents was more important than your own personal feelings. You simple needed to learn that Joel knew what’s best. He’d take care of you, take care of you like he always did; protecting you. He wouldn’t make the mistakes he made with Nick, Tommy, Lorenzo, Jack… Tommy would watch you while he was gone, but he knew Tommy, and Tommy was a simple man. Place a pretty girl in his bed, and it wouldn’t take long before they were fucking, and once Tommy fucked a girl, well… he latched on fast. Probably his mommy issues.

You were so sweet with Dolly, so careful, so attentive… even now, you sang to her and Joel thought this was the only sight he needed to see for the rest of his life: You, freshly fucked and beautiful with Dolly asleep in your arms as you sang.

What Joel didn’t know was your thoughts were consumed by your brother, dead outside with a gunshot in his head. Maybe you could ask him and Lorenzo to be buried together… it was the least you could do for your first protector… your soldier, your guardian who died in vain fighting for your safety after a lifetime of taking your beatings. 

“Leaves from the vine

Falling so slow

Like fragile tiny shells

Drifting in the foam

Little soldier boy

Come marching home

Brave soldier boy

Comes marching home”

The bath after sex felt exactly like it always had.

*******************

YEEEEEEEEEEEESH goodbye Zach and Lorenzo!!! my babies! my favorite couple! (im so sorry fen. I murdered your boy!) Also sorry angela buuuuuuuuuutttt you knew this was happening.

Honestly my heart aches for Zach. I have an older brother who was largly my protector in my childhood, my best friend for so long and I love him lots. Thats who zach is based off of for me but i dont wanna give a faceclaim bc I tryyyyyyy to make little one race inclusive (i know i didn't do perfect with the details of her bruisings but it can be hard) If any of my mutuals wanna see a pic Ill show you XD

Remember when I said taylor russle was June's faceclaim? I lied. I saw a picture of Alisha Boe and was like!!!!!! wait no thats her!!!! so now shes on this header.

JUNE AND TOMMY PLOT TWIST what do we think will happen there??? (June is canon bisexual, so dont let her marrying Maura in ghost of you series throw you off. She's the one who told little one all she really knew about sex.)

PLEASE LEMME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS AND THEORIES!!!! RBS ARE SO IMPORTANT TO SPREAD WORK but I like you know what you guys are thinkig!!! what part was the hardest to read? what are your thoughts on how this goes? One june and tommy? the deaths of jack and maura as well as tommy and lorenzo? Joel suddenly being very condesending to little one and almost like a schoolyard bully to tommy? all this happening while holding ellie?

He kinda reminds me of Joe Goldberg in You lol carrying Henry around with him on his lil stalking trips

@pimosworld @rubyfruitjungle @moriartyyouwhore @k-ra @the-fox-den @jenna-ortega @alwaysmicado @lunar-ghoulie @ladynightingale @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @maura-honey @fandxmslxt69 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

[stuiie]

ANOTHER UPDATE?! DYING! It was so so so so good, you never fail to amaze me! Love Yelena but I’m so #TeamDucky I feel like everyone’s being so harsh with her and she’s been through so much like I wanna pick her up off your chapter and give her a cuddle so bad👼🏻

Worried about her little spiral because if she hasn’t got Yelena, wifey’s are mad at her, parents are useless then my little duckling gonna be lonesome! Kinda a fun little off the deep end rebellious moment though👀

I know, right? I honestly wasn't sure I'd be able to finish writing the chapter because I felt so deeply for the characters. It was one of the hardest chapters I've ever written, not because I didn’t want to tell the story, but because it hurt to put them through this. Despite that, I'm glad I pushed through, even though it was difficult. What happened in this chapter is a stark reminder of how human we all are—flawed, vulnerable, and sometimes powerless against the consequences of miscommunication. When communication breaks down, misunderstandings arise, and external factors can magnify reactions beyond what we intend or expect.

No matter how much you love someone and promise yourself you’ll never hurt them, it’s almost inevitable that you will at some point. That’s the heartbreaking truth of being human. We’re all bound to stumble, especially when intense emotions are involved. And with so much unresolved tension simmering beneath the surface, it felt like this was a storm that was always coming—it was just a matter of when.

A part of me wishes life could be simpler sometimes, and I find myself resenting the old adage that trauma or unfair treatment makes you stronger. Because honestly, was the pain really worth the strength gained? Ducky’s journey has been far from easy, and while we might all wish that Natasha and Wanda could just understand her completely, the reality is that they can’t. They’re only human, too, with their own limitations.

I know I’m rambling, and I’m sorry about that, but I just feel so much for these characters. I want to wrap Ducky in a big hug as well after everything she’s been through in this chapter. So many mistakes were made by everyone involved, and it’s going to be really interesting to see how you react to what comes next.

It means the world to me that you take the time to share your thoughts on the chapter. Your feedback gives me invaluable insight into how the story is being received, and I can't thank you enough for that. ❤️

[oyasuminto]

A B C D E F H for yan!sid if possible?

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Even as a yandere, Sid is awful at showing earnest emotions. Tackling his darling with hugs, feeling them up in broad daylight, forcing bruising kisses that steal their breath, that's more his style. If you're really lucky, he'll leave random little trinkets for you; shiny colorful glass, a cool rock, things like that.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Not very! He'd rather keep your insides on the inside. Please. He doesn't want to get queasy.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

At first... yes. Not in a cruel way, but more of a "I didn't think I'd get this far and have no fucking clue what to do so I'm falling back on being an asshole to shield myself."

Over time he'll grow more comfortable and start treating you like an unwilling roommate. Honestly, it's less that he'll kidnap you and more that he'll move in and refuse to leave.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Kissing and groping, mostly. He may escalate to full-on rape, but it's not his go-to.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Getting this man to be vulnerable is like drawing blood from a stone. Good luck getting him to let down his walls! He is determined to hide behind the mask of his off-putting personality.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Excited! This is fun! Unexpected! And honestly kinda hot! He can respect someone who fights back and stands up to him! Expect to notice him getting harder the more you fight back, though.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Sid is... unpredictable. You never know what's coming next. One day he's happy watching dumb reality shows on the couch and mocking the contestants. The next he's showing you the illegal fireworks he bought and asking where your matches or lighter are.

You are constantly on your toes, just waiting for him to decide how he wants to ruin your day and make you die inside just a little more.

[tamelee]

hiii tamelee <3 you said you were writing a script for sns, right? could you give us the vaguest idea what it's about or do you want it to be a surprise? i love your art btw its so pretty

Hiii! 💕 oh yes I'd love to!! Tysm for liking my art and your interest in it! Ah, yes! The script was pretty much finished and I planned on drawing it already... but I felt like I had to research something Kishimoto used as reference a bit better and then... I fell into the student/research rabbit-hole.. >.< I had to make a change and it's taking me a bit of time, but I'm getting there 🥹 ((I'm also not too sure about Kakashi as Hokage around that time, I can't really find much and I refuse to read more novels or watch that terrible movie -.- does anyone know?)) Hmm'~ It's an SNS-story, but the plot isn't focussed on romance. Doesn't mean there won't be any though...... ((Maybe unpopular opinion but I don't think either are ready to accept it at that point in their lives despite VotE2. Acknowledgement is one thing. Acceptance another. But taking the next vulnerable step when both are (secretly) terrified of loss and rejection? Oh man. Anyway, there'll be no (immediate) hand holding or skipping over happy rainbows, I'll say that much 👀)) There are things I want to say, but in essays my words fall short and so, I wanted to create a story with that purpose ^^ The plot isn't spread over a long time at all and starts around 2 years after the war when they're 19y- blank period. I may have to switch it to 18-20y because I'm not too sure about Kishimoto's timeline and I weaved in background info through the original. It may not be perfectly aligned, but I did my best >.< And so, the story itself starts much earlier- there are a few flash-backs. I entirely made up the conflict of course, but it is focussed around.... hm, I guess problems that we expected were going to be solved during that time but clearly never were? I'm not 'fixing' the future that is shown in the sequel, but I'm challenging the possibility of that outcome and consequences in my story anyway. Fair warning, there is quite a bit of satire.. Naruto and Sasuke not excluded 😬🤷🏻‍♀️ (It has purpose, I promise.) If anyone saw the design of an OC (I made changes already xD), then you probably saw that Amegakure will play a role as well. I guess you could see the story as some sort of filler-arc made by a dedicated fan, because those also have some characters you'd only see during that arc and then never again :') That's kinda how I approached it anyway. I asked myself 'If I could fill in the timeline here after Sasuke left Konoha and having the future in mind, how would I do that? 🤔' I tried thinking about things I can reveal already or things that will happen, but I feel like it's better to keep it as a surprise!!! 🫢 I haven't written a blurb either. (Why did no one tell us how hard it is to do that? Props to all authors, honestly.) I'll probably post some sketches soon, there are still a few things I have to design as well ^^ aaannndd... it will also come with cw/tw's... it definitely isn't suited for everyone but I can't wait to start the journey~

[madbox91]

Today, I caused chaos on Twitter and Mobox and friends didn't like it lol Part 1

It all started when I was just impersonating mobox87 on Twitter again, you know being a goof ball. That's all. Then I found out that Nikolai (aka mobox's friend or girlfriend or whatever he is) had a new Twitter account and so I followed him. After that I made this thread

I was doing some funny monkey business when I did that. I didn't think much after that and I wasn't expecting anything to happened because I have done this before with Nikolai's other accounts and he didn't respond to me and ignored like he should. The reason why I did this is because to get a reaction, mess with him, mock him, make posts to make fun of him about and if I am lucky get attention. Just be my annoying harassing ass self. I love fucking around with people and annoying them and of course making myself laugh and maybe perhaps make other people laugh by my actions or posts. I've been doing online harassment for years so I know on wtf I'm talking about and fully aware that this shit is so fucking dumb, bad, shit that losers do. I don't care, I'm like a jester bully or something. Anyway another reason why I did it is because I always wanted to have a interaction with him. He has always been my most wanted person to fuck around with. The way he talks and the way he tries to be the bigger person in most situations is something that I always notice and always wanted to challenge him. It's so fucking delusional that he does it even though there's a clear advantage that the other person has. Plus he will get more material on making more posts that I can mock about. Anyways lets get into the juice and commentary.

Lol he blocked me

when he first messaged me, I didn't understand why he would do this after doing the greatest decision of ignoring me for like a very long time. Then when I was starting to talk to him and I realized this was an attempt to harass me. I'm thinking that my actions I did to mobox got into his skin and decided to get like vengeance for mobox due to his disliking of me going up to the next level or something (if this is true then big win for me). But anyway he really did failed on harassing me since once again, I have been harassing people online for years and I know like a somewhat of a amount of online harassment tactics and so I'm already used to and know how to be immune to it. I know I sound like a fucking scientist or professor when it comes to online harassment but remember I know what I am talking about due to years of being a dick. In fact he's like very similar to me when it comes to harassment and I'm pretty sure he figured that as well. I was so excited during this time, this is something that I've always wanted for a long time and got a chance to do it. I never thought my dumb little actions can get to these guys so easily. Like there's no way he wanted to harass me in order to stop my Twitter that has not that much attraction to begin with. He harass me because of something I have done that he didn't like. At least that's what I figured. I mean both him and mobox have a pretty close relationship and Nikolai has done this before with other people like blossom. I guess you can say that he's pretty sensitive whenever someone says something bad to mobox87 but anyway let's continue

Right off the bat, the cooler harasser (me) has already made him kinda defensive. I was messing around with him by making this meme reference

I'm not going to explain the whole meme if you don't know about it but the punchline is something sexual and so that's why I called him young for not getting it. I don't care if I said "thang" wrong, the funny thing about this is that this mf tried to correct me that he isn't young due to me saying that he was too young to understand the punchline of this random ass meme reference. "Um actually I'm 21 and that's not young to understand what you mean, you dirty lust☝🤓". I honestly couldn't believe I actually made him vulnerable for the first seconds of talking to him by messing around with him with something that he was ignorant about. It's so goofy that he had to tell me that he totally isn't young and said he isn't a "dirty lust". I'm not sure if this guy was trying to be fucking formal with those words but bro isn't Edgar allan poe with the words "dirty lust" 💀💀. Anyway

I was meant say "oh really" but I guess "how really" does work as well

As you can see, he's trying his best to make me think he's unaffected by the words. He's trying to make me feel like he's the bigger person in this conversation. I recognize this and do the same. That's basically what whole the conversation was like and is. Two losers tried their best to harass one another. Basically a waste of time for both sides. I mean I was expecting to just do this and at the same time was so excited because my biggest dream has come true and my expectations have been met. Also don't get me started on the mobox throwing away my account shit 💀. That shit was ass like holy fuck that actually made this harassment attempt fall apart. He even said "or something" to make it up because he knew that this was shit to say. LIKE HOLY SHIT THAT MADE ME SCARED!! MOBOX WAS ABOUT TO DESTROY MY ACCOUNT 😭😭💀💀😱😱🗣🗣🗣 SO SPOOKY. Like bruh, really? Tf she gotta do, call elon musk for this shit? I am absolutely right about how she already failed at throwing my account, bruh. It really is too late to say that you don't give a fuck. This is already damaging. Like I couldn't believe in my eyes when he said that. Bro thought he can scare me with that. How embarrassing

Bro really tried to get the mobox critique involve like I care. I already know those guys don't liked me so yeah thanks for stating the obvious for someone reason.

I like how we both have the same motivation at wasting each other's time and getting entertainment out of it. At the end of the day, time wasting is bad in both parties so it really doesn't matter. This is like talking to a less cooler clone of me which is fitting considering he is talking to a clone of mobox87. Also I think I cut him off when was asking "why so obsessed with". I don't know why

This feels a competition from all the attempts we did at each other.

[blocksruinedme]

Okay so this is what I decided not to post on an ask about Jimmy's namemc skin spoiler

but then left some of the text there!!!!! Incredibly embarassing! so now that i've accidentally put part of this out... here you go.

Scar loves Buff Scar, right? We all love Buff Scar. But I get emotional about the buff scar skin, for bummer reasons??? I would up talking about Buff Scar on the ask post and it turned into me finally writing out thoughts I've been having about myself and my health and... what I feel when I think about Scar? I say I "have health issues" and I have no looked up any definitions of "disabled" and idk that I do... physically it's mostly chronic pain and bad GI stuff (seeing a new specialist next week!)

But this personal and it's kinda heavy and I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, and it's... talking about another person's health while talking about my own, so I'm going to put this behind a cut. I don't want this thrown in anyone's face, and I think it's the most vulnerable thing I've posted on this account. And the first time I've ever turned off reblog.

I often get weirdly emotional about buff Scar, cause that image? That is something he must have have and lost. From hearing about his swimming career as a kid/teen, fuck. My dude would have been BUFF in the chest and arms and also shirtless a ton.

He was only 16 when he first got sick, I had thought it was 18 for some reason. It's nothing compared to Scar's situation, but I have a lot of health issues and... I don't think I project, I emphasize but it's more, idk that it's representation but maybe a little, honestly I don't know what it is, but I expected hearing him talk about his stuff hits different for me than most people who are fully able bodied. It just does stuff to me.

I watched part 2 of his imp & skizz podcast recently, and it's the most I've ever heard Scar talk about himself. People can get really weird when talking/thinking about other people's health, and I don't want to be doing that, but it was very emotional to listen to him talk about his dreams and plans that his health got in the way of. It's not like I'm in a wheelchair, but there's a really major thing in my life I can't do because of my health and I'm grieving it still. It's only been two years, and I'm doing my fucking best to not dwell and live the life I can have instead, but fuck. It's genuinely a really big deal (that I am not at all ready to talk about outside close friends.)

mood shift! i wrote this out of order and i'll cry if i keep dwelling on it.

A friend told a little anecdote about people (lovingly) commenting on Scar's choices about health and his creative work, and I did not react as they expected. I go (internally) ballistic when people say that kind of thing to me, like how I shouldn't write if I have a bad pain day?? Do not tell me how to manage my pain! This is my life and my body and you can never understand it, I barely can. I do not want to be infantilized, ever, but especially when it comes to managing the parts of my life that suck the most. Sometimes we take risks with our health because we decide it's worth it, because you have to have joy in life, not just life. Every time I get in the car I'm risking my life, y'know? If writing gets me through pain, that's what it does! And that's not even risky. (I spent 6 hours in the ER working on "whatcha gonna do?" because i was going to go insane sitting there waiting to find out if I had a stroke (i didn't)).

So we people with ill health have to figure out how to balance things. There's no "I'll wait till I'm healthy to do that", it's not like we're got a stomach virus. Everything is a compromise. If someone wants to finish uploading a video before they go to the hospital, maybe it's because of an skewed life/work balance, or maybe they're putting their self worth in places-some-people-would-call-wrong, or maybe they just don't want to worry about the fucking video and get the joy of "i've just put up a thing" while going off into a shit situation. I don't know! You don't know! "Put your health first" is pretty complicated, actually, when your health is *never* going to be "good" and there's too many options and you can't know what might work. People will sometimes hear something that's going on and say "are you going to go to the doctor?" and it's like... I can't go to my pcp everytime something like this happens cause then I'll be in all the damn time. It's not worth it. I am getting some kind of medical care every week.

When I went to the ER... so I had a really weird episode that might have been a migraine but the symptoms didn't quite match up with the general list and were concerning. All the symptoms went away after I laid down. I eventually got convinced to go to the ER to get checked out - and then, do I run out the fucking door in my workout clothes? Do I pack up stuff I want to have? Do I do that but also take ten minutes to eat something? What's the right choice? In the end everything was fine, but I'm always happy to get some clean imaging to have in my file. (in this case, brain mri and brain ct scan, w/ & w/o contact. the mri tech said i should get a frequent customer punch card when i said it was my 5th time in that mri. lost my shit. it's been <1/year but still.)

Scar talked about how early on they were chasing the cure and then you get to the point where... doesn't look like there's going to be a cure, this is fucking forever, and it fucking sucks. A friend just got that yesterday with a chronic fatigue syndrome diagnosis, and... now they know this is it. I'm still chasing a cure, or a way to keep things in remission, with my god damn gut biome. My current GI MD said "this is all i can do" and for some reason I let that stay? I never would have let a friend just give up - but I wasn't thinking of it that way. It is SO HARD to go and advocate for more medical care when you have so many things going on.

To be super clear i 100% think of myself as "barely in chronic pain" and "not really chronically ill" and "definitely not disabled".

Anything can become normal. For good, for ill, for weird.

Anything can become normal.

[1960z]

also inspired by penny parker’s ace attorney liveblog on here, I decided to do a character tier list! I’ll add to it once I start playing tgaa 2. some explanations under the cut

sholmes and iris

honestly I felt pretty unsure about the both of them when I first started the game. I like the few holmes stories I’ve read well enough and obviously have massive respect for their impact on literature and like the character fine but I’m not someone where “holmes is a character in this story!” is a selling point. and when sholmes was first introduced he was fun but his presence also felt kind of invasive. I also found the deduction scenes to be even slightly tedious at times honestly. but by god the way they portray him he just… wore me down lmao. by case 5 I found him fucking hysterical and was enjoying every minute he was on screen. and his relationship with iris gives him a surprising emotional core.

speaking of iris, I also felt hesitant at the whole “what if watson was actually a 10 year old girl” shtick and that brand of “child genius” character tends to annoy me most of the time. but fuck she’s just so immediately loveable. she still feels like a 10 year old despite being written to be a genius and is just truly so kind and sweet and she deserves the world. she’s so smart and curious about the world but she’s also still very naive and vulnerable in a lot of ways and it very literally makes me want to take a bullet for her. I think the idea that she writes the sholmes stories and they’re actually fictional retellings of her father’s diary entries is really cool too. it adds an extra layer that’s more than just “the holmes stories are real in this universe” which I enjoy

susato and van zieks

I’m hoping they’re both going to be in “would take a bullet for” category by the end of the next game but as it stands I feel like there’s a lot about the both of them that remains to be seen. like comparing them to maya and edgeworth at the end of aa1 and the journey we get to go on with those two characters, it feels like I barely know anything about susato and van zieks in comparison. and I am expecting to find out more, I mean… why does susato know about the hound of baskervilles is definitely playing on my mind and van zieks has his whole reaper thing going on as well as the “japan has betrayed me” thing he’s alluded to however of course none of these things have actually been explored yet and I feel a little emotionally distant from them as a result. susato and ryunosuke’s friendship is really sweet though if we get to see more of that I don’t think it’ll be long before she’s bumped up honestly. I also think van zieks is extremely cunty as you all know keep it up king.

ashley graydon

tbh I was so ready to say I just straight up hated this guy and put him in boo 🍅🍅 because he just… refused to take the L and people somehow kept siding with him without much logical reason to do so and it pissed me off… but they just had to make him interesting and throw in themes of the corrupting force of wealth and becoming the very thing you hate right at the very end. very dorian grey of him, just like his character design

taketsuchi auchi

the payne bit feels pretty played out at this point honestly and it feels considerably less charming whenever it’s coming from someone who isn’t actually my boy winston. so auchi just kinda annoys me

if anyone wants me to explain any of my other choices I’d be happy to!

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Hello! I saw you opened requests... May I ask for a female character x Tommy Shelby?

Here's the plot: the protagonist wants to kill him cause he's responsible of her brother's death. She knows he's vulnerable due to Grace's death and she gets close to him taking advantage on his need to have someone beside. A night of love is the perfect moment in which she can carry out her plan, having him alone, disarmed and off guard.. (So NSFW is perfectly ok 😝)

Whether she ends up killing him or not is up to you 🍷 surprise me ✨

I'd just like to have the female protagonist on the "dominant" part. Like... In the show Tom is always the one who wants everything under his supreme control and many fics depict him as such ... Well, he gives me totally opposite vibes, if you know what I mean 😂

That's all ✨ I'm looking forward to reading this! ❤

This was a super fun request!!!! I hope I got what you mean..... I tried really hard. Honestly kind of a slut for sub Tommy. Never thought about it before- but - I might be in love.

Any way because I'm such a softy I made two ending options.... I'll let you all decide which one I was more into ;)

Warnings: dealing with loss, murder, gang type stuff, seduction with bad intentions, sex, oral sex fem receiving, orgasms, kinda kinky, hopefully hot

Eventually the moment he was dreading was clear in view. The large house came into sight making his stomach turn violently. As if sensing it Charlie started to kick up a fuss. His little cries for his mother doing nothing to settle the pain in his chest. 

Grace was dead. This house was horrible. Charlie seemed to loudly agree in his own way. So why did he come back? 

Appearances mostly. He needed to get his feet back on the ground and settle the situation. The Russians had a tight rope around his neck, if only they would pull a little tighter. The Italians were waiting in the shadows like hungry wolves. 

Charlie’s pudgy little hand tugged on the white collar of his shirt making him hate himself for thinking such things. 

He got Charlie settled back into the house, envious of the sleeping child next to him. He had no idea when the next time he would be able to rest. 

There was a lot of work to be done. 

______

Readers POV

Growing up in a mob family was not what most people expected. Your brothers carried an unhealthy amount of pressure, while you were completely ignored.

The Shelby - Italian feud had carefully made its way to your family. Your youngest brother was to prove himself to the family & organization by killing the ever annoying Thomas Shelby. Not a simple task by any means. 

You wished it was you that pulled the trigger, you wouldn't have missed. The aftermath of Grace Shelby’s body crumpling to the floor left you with two dead brothers, and an engagement to a man you hated. They fought hard to get out but it was no use. He went for a grand shooting in the middle of the room, your other brother's attempt to get him out was useless. Your stomach twisted as you knew taking a shot like that was a suicide attempt… Maybe this was his way out of the family business. Tears stung your eyes and you shook your head, surely he wouldn't have left the consequences on his siblings? 

You felt trapped by this grief, maddened by it. The way everyone reacted, especially your father, started a mass unraveling of your whole life. You became buried under harsh realizations and questions on how you were raised. Everything started to evaporate once they were dead, leaving you with a drive to fix the unfixable. You knew that there was no way out of your life's path, yet your mind was determined, spinning in blood lust. 

You laid in bed as the cool summer air caressed your skin. Mind engulfed by every bit of information you had collected about what had happened. The cocky smiles of their faces the last time you saw them slowly fading, replaced by the heavier, more traumatizing memory of their broken bodies being returned to your family. 

The rest of the crime families your father associated with thought it pathetic, and embarrassing. Out of shame or fear from the Shelby family, people started to try and back away from your father. This meant you were requested to marry into the Changretta family. You were given the task to clear the family name, strengthen bonds, bring the business back, all well someone else got to destroy Thomas Shelby….

A plan had started to form in the absence of sleep. They were your brothers, it was your family given the task, naturally it should be you to complete the task. If you could kill Thomas your family's reputation would be restored earning you enough praise to slip out of the unwanted marriage. Not to mention they would surely benefit from the division of the Shelby estate. 

You drape yourself in black fabric and sit in church everyday. Asking for forgiveness, asking for a direction forward. More than revenge, you wanted a way to escape all this life. Killing Thomas just seemed like the best way forward. Looking at the statue of Mother Mary in front of you, her eyes filled with something you’d never felt. You wanted her to tell you what to do. 

No clouds in the sky broke, sending a beam of light into the room. No one descended from the sky. No messages fluttering from the grand ceiling. 

Instead a group of girls sat in the back of the church attempting to speak in hushed whispers. You were annoyed at first, until you recognised one of the voices to be Ruth Berryman, a known friend of Ada Shelby. You listened as she described the family's peculiar way of grieving the loss of Grace. How Thomas had disappeared and would be returning to the public eye in a charity event hosted at his house. She went on to speculate that he’d hidden himself away to drown in women and opium. 

You didn't have any opium, but you were remarkably pretty when you wanted to be… All you needed to do was dress up and sneak in, then get Thomas alone.

A silence fell over the space as Elizabeth Gray made an entrance. You pulled your scarf around your head a little tighter as you watched her slender frame fall into a seat. She looked exhausted, you felt a strange sense of sadness for her. The image of your brothers flashing in your mind pushed that feeling down until it was unreachable. 

___________________

Your parents were more distant than ever, no one noticed you plotting away in your bedroom. As long as you were on top of your wedding planning no one paid you any notice. The loneliness started to seep into your bones again, making you feel weighed down. You poured another cup of coffee trying to shake the feeling off. Everyone would see you clearly once this was over…

The night of the event had come around. You had an entrance secured and a clear exit plan. 

You looked over your body in the gold framed mirror. The fabric rested heavily on your curves. You would never normally wear anything like this, and you couldn't escape the powerful feeling it gave you. Your body was displayed in a way that was elegant while also being undeniably sexy. You pinned your dark hair up and did your make up. 

You’d never seduced anyone before but looking over your final look you felt it shouldn't be too hard.

You pulled up to the large house, leaving your car down by the road. You were late enough that no cars were pulling up the drive to notice your descent on the house. Your long black wool coat covered you from chin to ankle, making you look a part of the woven night. 

You made your entrance under a fake name and joined the mess without anyone thinking twice about you. 

_________________________

Tommy POV

He wished that this event had been unnecessary. The effort it took to stand about moving from conversation to conversation was almost unbearable. His bones were on fire, head pounding, all he could do was pour more whiskey and hoped it would take the edge off. The night dragged on, until a woman caught his eye. 

She was tall, wrapped in a tight red dress, and had a look in her eye. The room seemed to be swallowed by her presence, the light bending to wrap around her. Her dark eyes held a gaze that made it hard to breathe. She walked over to him like this was her house, tall and proud, despite not being invited. 

“Mr. Shelby.” Her voice floated around him like smoke. She looked content as he held the silence between them, searching her eyes for what secrets they were holding. 

“I don’t believe we’ve met?”

“Y/N L/N” She held her hand out to him. He knew she was lying but he couldn't help but the wave of desire that crashed over him and holding her slender fingers in his hand. 

They chatted for a while, no mention of Grace, or work. He met everyone of her lies and questions with honesty. He watched as his answers spun around in her eyes, she seemed conflicted, but not surprised. He wanted to impress her, but she was unmovable, like stone. She conducted the conversation, and decided which of his answers she wanted to elaborate on. 

Things started to wind down, and he regretfully had to remove himself from her presence to wrap the evening up. She showed no interest in leaving, pouring herself another glass of whiskey. 

Polly set in on him about how stupid this was, but he shrugged it off. He knew that there was something this woman wanted to say to him, he was determined to figure it out. Everything about her was weighted heavily with significance. She was here for a reason, maybe because of the Russians, maybe the Italians, but he felt it was something above business. She had nothing vicious in her eyes, there was something she wanted desperately, but it wasn't violence. 

___________________________

Readers POV 

Thomas Shelby was an interesting man. He didn't try to step on your toes, he let you lead the conversation. Never mocking, always hanging on your words. His answers were not what you expected. He wasn't what you expected. Every time you touched him you felt something bigger than grief for the first time in so long. 

Eventually he took you into his study to wait while he wished his guests well. You listened as his family loudly made their way upstairs. Stumbling and laughing on the stairs. Elizabeth Gray’s voice carried into the office as she laughed and poked fun at another Shelby woman. 

You thought about snooping around his desk but you were stopped by the picture of a woman staring back at you. 

His wife's eyes found the words in the back of your head and twisted them painfully. She was dead, and the sadness in him was still very visible to someone who was grieving just the same. Dead at the hands of your brother. He flashed before you and you started to feel sick. 

It was either this or be married. Unfortunately your mind was already set. 

Thomas entered the room slowly, his eyes dragging over your lounging body. The couch was comfortable and the fire light only made everything seem more warm and  intimate. 

“Sit with me?” It was meant to be a question but it came out more like an order. He looked at you for a moment before sitting next to you. He was so close you could feel the cold air still attached to his suit jacket. 

You didn’t want to talk anymore. It would only make this harder for you in the long run. You needed to get him out of his jacket, make sure he didn't have any weapons still on him. 

You raised your hand to brush your fingertips along the short hair on the side of his head. He closed his eyes, and leaned into your touch, your heart gave a twinge as the fire light only made him look more tired. 

You were going to fuck up if you kept this up. You dragged your hand down and tugged on his jacket, he wordlessly removed it. 

“And the vest” You whispered, there was something in his eyes that made you hate yourself. A wetness started to pool between your legs, even your own body was betraying you. 

You pulled your skirt up your thighs and moved to straddle his lap. His hands went to your hips to help settle you into place. You felt the power of sitting here on his lap, his eyes heavy as he looked at you. 

“Do you want to kiss me?” You asked in a smoky tone. His eyes flashed in a way that made you feel like gravity had increased. You were falling into him more and more.

“Yes” His tone was breathy and you wished things were different as you studied him. He was so willing to let you take charge. You liked being seen. 

He waited patiently for your mouth to reach his, he let your lips take charge, and you deepened the kiss slowly. He was breathless, cheeks flushed, his hands were digging into your hips painfully. You loved the way he clung to your body, how badly he needed you to take his pain away. 

Your hand wrapped around the side of his neck causing him to moan. You pushed his head back to rest on the top of the couch exposing the length of his pale throat. You went in for a deeper kiss, holding his neck firmly in place you—----

Option one: 

Take your other hand up to your chest and pull the small knife from between your breasts. Quickly you drag it across the skin of his neck. He gasped into your mouth as the blood started to rush down his body. You looked into his eyes and admired the love you felt. 

“Thank you” He whispered softly. You held his body while he left this earth for something better. He slipped away so peacefully you knew that it must have been more of a favor to him than anything. 

The house was quiet and you made your way to the window behind the desk and slipped away into the night peacefully. Things went back to usual in your family so you decided it was in your best interest to move on. The war got worse, Tommy's brothers took over and his Aunt was determined to destroy your family. You had the money, so you ran away, unnoticed, placing as much distance between you and Birmingham as possible.

Option Two:

You stopped suddenly. Looking over his face.

“Tell me what it is.” He whispered, pupils blown out. You knew that it would be suicide to tell him the truth. Death seemed like a friend you would greet with open arms. Your vision was filled with the photo on his desk, his wife. His dead wife. The smaller photos of a little boy. Eyes bright, motherless. You pressed your head against his and took a shaky breath. 

“My brother - I - I came here to kill you.” You watched how his face didn't change. Stayed just as relaxed and calm. 

“What have you decided then?” He asked like he was asking if it was raining. You knew a part of him wishes you would go through with it, just like there was a part of you that would be more than happy to die at his hand. 

“I can’t do it.” You said feeling a weight lift off of you. 

“Why not?” His eyes were back in focus now searching you. 

“You feel different -” You couldn't explain it. He was different and it was intoxicating. “And you have a kid upstairs.” You shook your head. You would either die right here, or you would go home to die everyday beside your husband. Either way you’d finally made your choice. 

His big hands ran along your body and you could see him weighing his options carefully. 

“Be a shame if either of us died without fucking first eh?” 

You nodded at his crude words and your mouths met again instantly. 

You both fought for control at first, ripping each other's clothes off, hands groping frantically. You ended up falling off the couch landing flat on your back. The texture of the carpet was surprisingly soft and the heat from the fire kept you comfortable. He parted your legs, leaning down towards you. You gripped a handful of the longer hair at the top of his head and used all your strength to push his head where you wanted it. He let out a deep moan as you pressed his face into your hot flesh. He submitted entirely and ate you out like he was starved. Tongue caressing you coupled with the sharp suction created by his mouth had you writhing. 

“Ah yes. So good. Fuck -Tom” Your words came spiraling out of you as he worked you over. His eyes flashed up at you with a different kind of need. He wanted to make you happy, he wanted to know it made you happy. 

You were getting close, but you wanted to cum around him. You pushed his face off and he got up on his knees, heavy cock standing proudly. You wrapped your slender finger around him, the walls off your pussy fluttering at the size of him. God he was going to destroy you. You could see he was about to lose his patience with your hand, you were naked and strung out. It was his time to take charge. 

“Are you ready?” You asked him, tightening your grip on him, you wanted to push him further. 

“Yes” He moved toward you but you only squeezed him further causing him to moan. 

“See if I’m ready” You whispered into his ear like it was a dirty secret. You felt his fingers push into you slowly and his head dropped to rest on your shoulder. You let out a moan when his fingers rubbed against the spot you needed him the most. 

“Feels so good, so good at stretching me open” You whisper, feeling his jaw clench against your neck. You wanted to see his face but wouldn't push him. You had no idea what you were doing or why it felt this good. 

“Feel how wet you made me?” He let out a deep groan and you felt his cock twitch in your hand. 

“You think I'm wet enough?” 

“Yes” He answered out of breath. 

“Are you sure? You're so big” 

“Fuck - Yes” He was so far gone and you’d barley touched him. You were fairly confident that you could make him cum just like this, and it would still be the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. 

“You want to fuck me now?” You pulled his cock against your wet folds causing him to make a small strangled noise. 

You took that as the answer it was, lining the head of his cock up with your wet entrance you guided his hips forward. You expected him to take over, rip through you to find his release, take his revenge. Instead he followed the wordless directions of the hand you had placed on his hip. This time it was your turn to groan. He stretched you out so slowly, soon you were at your limit. Taking all of him was a beautiful and painful task. Guiding him to pull out and slowly move back in pleasure won over the pain and your hips moved to meet his shallow thrust.

“God, you fill me so well” You felt his body melt under the praise. You guided his hips in and out of you slowly feeling yourself slip away. The pace got quicker gradually and eventually he was fucking you with a stregth that ruined you for anyone else. 

There was only so much you could take before you demanded he touch you. His thumb circled your clit, his body pushing you somewhere it hadn't been before.

“Please, dont stop - Tom - Ah - youre going to make me cum - fuck baby make me cum” Words spiraled out of your moth and he drank each one of them down. Fucking you harder, he took you over the edge, your body swallowing him. Walls rhythmically contracting pull him over the edge spilling inside you. He rode both of the orgasms out before collapsing on you. Your arms held him tightly, not wanting him or the feeling inside you to go. 

He broke your hold and held himself above you. His hand came up to caress the side of your neck and you took one last look of his blue eyes before closing your own. You tilted your chin up exposing his neck. You waited for his other hand to embrace your neck, for him to take your life. 

“Promise you won’t bring harm to me or my family.” 

Your eyes flew open and met his gaze. “I promise” He gave you a nod then pulled out of you slowly. His mouth moved to suck a deep mark into your throat before he pushed himself back inside you. After pulling another orgasm from you he cleaned the both of you up. 

“What are your plans for next friday?” He asked as you both sat on the floor in front of the couch. You were sipping whiskey and smoking cigarettes unsure of what to make of the situation that just happened. 

“I’m supposed to be getting married.” 

“For business or love?” 

“Business, my brothers couldn't kill you and that led to a lot of problems.” 

His face twisted briefly remembering the problems it caused him as well. He was quiet and you felt yourself yearning to apologize. 

“We both lost a lot because of this. I don't even know who started all of  it but I’d like to end it. Leave all of it, everyone and thing behind if I could” He studied you carefully before lighting another cigarette. 

“How bout I make a counter offer then?” His words hit you like a truck. Surely he couldn't be serious. 

“I’ll marry you. Take the territory that would have been handed down to your brothers. In return you can do what you like within reason and the fighting stops.”

You thought about it for a long moment. You thought about all the plans everyone was making, how much destruction was about to move into action.  

“Can I do what I like to you?”You asked in a cheeky tone, desperate to stop thinking about everything. You watched his gaze get hungry. 

“Most certainly” 

“I won't share you. With anyone, ever” The words were out of your mouth before you realized what you said. He may not love you, this may be for business, but the thought of someone else touching him and having him like that caused your blood to boil.

“Somehow I don't think that will be a problem” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a ghostly smile. 

You clink your glasses together and fell back into a comfortable silence, your head resting on his shoulder. 

___

They did get married, it was a business deal that ended the feuding. (Saving John) 

She freaks out about how to look after Charlie because her parents were so distant towards her growing up that she has no idea what to do. Polly and her bond over this. Charlie almost immediately gets attached to her. Eventually she proves herself to the rest of the family. 

She takes good care of Tommy, giving him someone to trust. But she's very opinionated and they fight a lot. Its explosive and usually ends with them fucking against any surface. She just wants the family to be protected and doesn't like taking big risks. So they balance each other out a little. Tommy’s calm and she’s so tired of being calm that the first chance she gets to lay into someone she takes it. 

The first time she had to kill someone it was to protect Charlie. She broke down after the situation because she almost did that to Tommy. Everything she had now - a family that loved her and respected her, a husband that paid attention / was kind to her, a little boy that called her mum and ran to her every time he was scared - She got all of that from Tommy - He has to hold her for hours before she calms down. That's when they realize that they really love each other.

Tags list: @tommydoesntpayforsuits @misselsbells06 @kpopgirlbtssvt

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[socheckitout-mikey]

heya birdies! i just did this one bc i love derek a lot. i hope y'all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! sorry if it's a bit trash, it's taken me ages to write and most of it was written at 3am one morning many moons ago lol (': - mae

*just a warning that there is a quick mentioning of being caught having sex by the pack! but no detail at all!*

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Dating Derek Hale Hc's:

° okay, right off the bat, this man is soooo protective of you. he's never gonna let anything hurt you (or at least he's gonna try to ensure that).

° heart eyes mother fucker! derek has this look in his eyes that he only reserves for you and everyone (cough cough! stiles!) always brings it up but Derek genuinely just denies it point blank every single freaking time. (his eyes have this soft warmth to them whenever they gaze at you. it's super sweet.)

° you're certainly one of the people that he's playful with and the pack really enjoy seeing this side of derek more often. you help him feel less alone and teach him how to love more deeply. you're also much healthier for him than his other past relationships - *i'm looking at you kate and jennifer!*

° he'd literally do anything for you oml. derek's always doing whatever he can to help you out, although sometimes he may be slightly awkward if you're vulnerable and there are a lot of feelings on the table. over time he really gets better at feeling comfortable with vulnerability when it comes to you and others. anger isn't his main emotion any more, because there isn't as much pressure riding on his shoulders from being an alpha.

° whenever there's trouble afoot, derek wants to get you on the next plane out of beacon hills. he's not hot on the idea of you fighting against anything - even if you're supernatural or can defend yourself -. however, if you're dead set on it, he can't force you onto the plane...

° this then leads to derek understanding that he can trust you to not only handle your own corner, but you've also got his back. it's both anxiety inducing and a relief.

° so expect an overprotective derek to tag along with you. He's shielding you every chance he gets, especially if it has anything to do with explosions, cars, etc. derek doesn't fuck around.

° honestly, you end up saving him more often than not bc he's reckless™. but who's keeping score right? haha everyone!

° y'all tease each other all the time and flirt, the pack are kinda grossed out.

° "okay, who switched out Sour Wolf for the Love Puppy?" stiles snapped, pointing at derek.

° "you've got two seconds to take that back or i'm ripping your throat out with my teeth." derek snarled.

° "easy tiger! there will be no ripping of any teenage throats!" you smarted, getting in between the pair.

° "are you seriously taking his side on this?" derek grumbled down at you, disgruntled and quite frankly, offended.

° honestly, derek loves being affectionate with you - at least secretly that is -. altho it took some time to warm up to the idea and for him to get to know you. warmth and closeness doesn't come naturally to derek. it takes a long time for him to be comfortable around you, but tbh the time it took really paid off because now you've got this man absolutely wrapped around your finger.

° you never seemed to ever give up on derek - even when he was a terrible alpha and did things he wasn't proud of due to his survivors guilt, being afraid and stressed out, etc. he doesn't excuse his behaviour, but he's glad you were one of the people that remained true to themselves and supported him; even if it was just from a distance.

° cora absolutely loves you!

° "well, at least you're not a psycho, so i'll give you that."

° "break my brothers heart and i'll break your face-"

° "cora!"

° "what?! a little sister can't get protective of her big brother?"

° i mean, even peter thinks you're a great suit for derek, but he's not gonna go around saying it. any time derek or you mention it, he profusely denies the fact he's got a slight soft spot for you.

° you've adopted the hale eye roll lmaoo.

° cuddles galore! derek is a huge softie, but mainly behind closed doors. he's got this "image" to uphold in public lmaoo pls he's a softie, we all know it! chdhsvsgdhdvd

° man's treats you like royalty, like you go on the cutest and most fun dates filled with loads of adventures.

° "who knew you had a fun side!"

° "I'm gonna pretend like you didn't just imply that you believed stilinski's false description of me."

° "well, its not entirely false."

° "next time you're up to bowl, i'm making sure your ball goes into the gutter."

° "sore loser..."

° derek highkey shows off all the time lol he's so perfect wtf? and he knows he's doing it too!

° "okay, people are dying, yn! can you please stop looking at your boyfriend's ass for two seconds? okay, we get it! you can bounce a quarter off of it and it'll slit your throat! But people are dying here! less ass watching and more looking at this map!" stiles barked animatedly into the air, distress and irritation evident upon his countenance.

° "okay stiles... i think they get it. let go of the map before you rip it into little pieces." scott muttered, prying the frail looking paper from his best friend's death grip.

° "you said what about a quarter bouncing off my what?" derek asked, finally coming into the scene from a quick scout around the abandoned warehouse.

° "you have a perky ass! they talk about it all the time." trusty malia let loose rather comically.

° and you know fine well derek doesn't let you live that shit down. he uses it against you whenever he can. Thanks a lot stilinski and malia!

° lydia looooves you and so do malia and kira! they definitely steal you away from derek to have some fun times with you!

° liam tends to follow you around a lot bc you put stiles in his place a lot and it is his greatest form of entertainment. stiles genuinely gets this one deadpan look from you and he backs off. liam dubs this as your party trick, but it freaks stiles out bc "oooooh look who's trying to be scary all of a sudden~"

° "what did you just say about me?!"

° "nothing!"

° dude you gotta listen to derek and stiles bitch about each other and you're literally that fucking ben affleck meme of him smoking a cigarette and rolling his eyes bc pls stfu already!

° obviously scott likes you a lot because you even derek out and bring a much more playful derek out. he's just happy there's a little less sour wolf and more happy wolf!

° isaac really adored you before he went off the france. sometimes he was like a little duckling just following you until derek started swatting at him.

° "you're gonna give them brain damage, get lost!"

° "the brain damage is from you- ow!"

° lmaoo he got a rubber spatula catapulted off of his forehead.

° you're seriously one of the best things to ever happened to him. you make derek so happy oml!

° dude the amount of times y'all get caught making out and having sex in the loft is unreal. the pack need therapy twice a week. they've just stopped randomly barging into the loft now lmaoo

° you've kinda become the second pack "mom" besides stiles. you're not as overbearing as him, and since you're not a teenager, you're like derek, often giving wise advice.

° isaac literally flocks after you and not in like a weird or crush type of way. you bring out a better side to derek that he enjoys, meaning he can get away with being more cheeky with him lol

° "okay, i like them because you're less of a heartless asshole, which puts less stress on the pack."

° "maybe you should've bitten them and let them become the alpha. yn would've been better a better alpha than you."

° "that would've required me to have died, you dimwit!"

° "i'm just saying that it could've been a great possibility...."

° we stan a savage isaac lahey in this household! lmaoo you can't deny you didn't lie when he hid behind you when derek gave him that look.

° "make him stop having murderous thoughts about me." isaac murmured in your ear.

° "maybe you shouldn't have said that whole better off dead thing." you mumbled back, still looking at derek.

° "you know i can hear you both right? i'm still in the room."

° you really admire derek. he's come a long way since the beginning, which is lovely to see. he went from an angry loner that had raging survivors guilt to being a calmer, much more compassionate man and is apart of an odd pack.

° you annoy him by calling him master shifu from kung-fu panda whenever he gives advice to scott. deaton finds this very hilarious.

° you're highkey a smart ass that gets away with so much. derek's just raising his eyebrows at you and he's giving you this look of "you're gonna get it later" and you do (;

° whenever derek smiles you go all mushy for him lol

° cuddling with him in the winter is highkey the best bc he's like a radiator lol

° every halloween you join him in scaring the children when they turn up for candy. y'all are fucking mean and I support it bc some kids fucking deserve to shit their pants.

° y'all watch a show together okay? doesn't matter what it is but you can't watch it without the other. derek loses his shit and knows when you've skipped ahead without him bc he went to visit cora in south america. he takes this shit personally!

° "i was gone for a week! you couldn't have just waited for me to get back?!"

° "it's not that big of a deal! i can rewatch it with you!"

° "no! now there's no point! watching it together entails both of us, not just one! you've ruined it for the both of us, yn."

° "okay! you're being stilinski dramatic now-"

° "WHAT IF I DID THAT TO YOU?!"

° istg it's highkey funny. he does eventually forgive you after he gets revenge on your guys latest series obsession.

° "paybacks a bitch, isn't it?"

° you hype him up when he works out, kinda being a bit sexual.

° "you know this counts as sexual harassment right?"

° "you can call the cops all you want, but the only one getting arrested is you for being fiiiinne"

° "you're such a loser..." he'd laugh.

° spontaneous play fights. he let's you win after a little while, but he never fails to enjoy softly pinning you down.

° there was that one time you absolutely handed his ass in a play fight though and he never went easy on you again.

° derek is flirty asf so be prepared for that.

° he's also pretty romantic or can be that is. like it's not really in the traditional sense but he's more spontaneous and he can plan things out quite well. he can seriously do a lot of sweeping you off your feet if you're into that stuff.

° road trips galore mate! y'all are like, "peace out motherfuckers " to the pack in their time of need sometimes fhdhdhehe

° clowning each other.

° never start a prank war with derek... you learnt the hard way!

° anything that you wanna do is usually supported by derek bc he wants you to be happy, healthy and safe. you want a career in neuroscience? fucking do it dude! you wanna work 9-5 in the diner down the street bc it's your dream? do it! he supports you no matter what your goals are in any area of life.

° derek really allows himself to become vulnerable with you, he gets that this relationship won't always be sunshine and rainbows. he's loyal and willing to get through the uncomfortable stuff to work on you guys.

° ngl you're his end game <333 he will grow old with you and probably marry you too: if that's what you want ofc.

° dating derek entails a lot of banter and love: your relationship is very meaningful and you bring each other a lot of strength and joy.

° i ship it! <33333333

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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[prettyboykatsuki]

fang does bully!kiri lighten up at all after he confesses his feelings? does their dynamic change? im curious about the aftermath of the alley scene!

cw ;; toxicity, kirishima is a little delusional, bkg meddling, unprotected / rough sex, afab reader 18+

a/n ;; OKAY! SO HERE'S THE THING RIGHT. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABT THIS AND A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABT WHAT COULD HAPPEN.

short answer is yes, eventually he is genuinely nice to you. i do think kirishima likes you but like i said - he's entitled to your attention. post confession he's possesive and he always fucks you mean.

i have a whole thing in my head about how the confession ultimately changes their dynamic. a lot of it stops being about getting your attention but rather keeping it. before it was a thing about kirishima trying to coax you but now that the whole thing is said and done - you're totally on your toes.

so what he likes you.. right? what does that change in the first place? that's what you tell yourself in the direct aftermath. kirishima is really good at playing with peoples feelings (a given, really) so you're expecting things to the same in some ways. you're expecting him to still be mean to you.. still harass you.

ah.. poor thing. kirishima does the opposite. after the confession - he completely and totally ignores you. again.. seems counter intuitive. but this is a necessary step in making sure things work out the way he wants them to work out. he can tell you don't really believe that you're special to each other so now it's about how you approach him.

two weeks. it's about two weeks and kirishima is a radio silent. you gotta approach him first and he honestly gets off on how increasingly sad you look whenever he brushes by you in the passing days. when people ask him whats up, he just says the two of you had a minor disagreement but in reality he's testing you.

you've gotta approach him first, in his head. the only thing that throws a wrench in the plans is bakugou.

bakugou thinks kirishimas a fucking idiot by the way. this is VERY important. while you're moping for those few weeks, bakugou pays extra attention to you. when no ones around, he comes sit next to you while you work and just kinda hangs out with you.

part of it is bc he wants a chance to fuck you but another part of it just bc he feels genuinely bad. kirishima doesn't know how to be honest or direct with his feelings and it's clearly affecting you. kirishima does like you... in the way someone like him can. and bakugou believes he needs to be nicer to you bc of that in some way.

he thinks this whole ignoring you thing is gonna make you resent him and that there's other ways to invoke your desperation. he told kiri this many times but it fell on deaf ears so this is his way of solving that.

it.. works. in a way bakugou coming towards you for that period of time works because it gets kirishima to approach you again. he sees the two of you laughing together completely incidentally and when he asks bakugou about why, bkg just smirks and says it's none of his business.

"didn't know you and bakubro were so buddy-buddy," you're packing your stuff up at one of the quiet rooms in the library - completely alone. you wonder how kirishima always finds you in this position - vulnerable. it startles you since it's the first time you've spoken in weeks. he's expecting to see the little frail smile he normally sees on your face but.. really you're just mad. upset.

"what do you want kirishima,"

"woah woah, what's with the attitude,"

it makes you freeze.. why are you showing him attitude exactly?

"y-you've been ignoring me for two weeks," and you can't help but ask yourself what the fuck you're doing "i thought.."

kirishima is supposed to be mad. really he is, but the little pathetic sound of your voice as you explain your feelings to him fills him with a familiar affection for you. god you're so cute, he wants to fuck you raw.

"i didn't think you would notice since you and bakugo seemed to be so close,"

"he was just trying to make me feel better," and your voice is so cute and pathetic. it makes a shiver run up his spine, makes him dizzy as he approaches, towers over you. his hands on your cheek, thumb on your lower lip.

"you were lonely without me, 's that it?"

you look defeated. nodding, you look up at him and confess that you were.

"you get it now right? that we need each other,"

something in your stomach drops but you nod again. and kirishima almost groans knowing how much he's broken you down. perfect and sweet.

"good. good. you get it now, that's all i wanted. don't be mad, mmkay? ill make everything better,"

his promise is gentle on your ears. kirishimas words never match his actions and fucking you is no different. you're not sure how you end up on the carpeted floor, your knees digging and burning as kirishima puts both hands on your hands on your hips.

he tells you that eating you is neccesary but you think he just likes seeing you squirm. feeling his tongue between your folds and spit running down your cunt makes your head feel real light and kirishima spends any time away from your pussy whispering something fucking filthy in your ears. always vulgar and harsh, about how he thought it was so cute to see how distraught you looked without him. how all week he thought about what face you would make if he kept teasing you.

"you like it when 'm mean to you right? want me to bully your cervix too, dont'cha? sit in your fuckin' room all day playin' with your pussy over it, i bet. so cute"

kirishima mounts you when he fucks you. thick thighs over your entire body. it hurts even with the prep but he stays buried to the hilt, grinding his cock right inside of you. you can feel it in your chest, makes you cry out with how it feels. it's so much. so, so much.

it makes you keel over and whine, a soft little "kiri," that makes kirishima feel light-headed.

he fucks into you with force, on his knees in doggy on the floor of the library. but every time kirishima touches you, you lose all sense of shame. when he pulls you to his chest and wraps a hand around your throat, whispers in your ear about how you'll never get rid of him as he pounds into you so fucking shamelessly.

hhngngh and after all of his teasing and only when he's balls deep inside of you can he really praise you proper. it melts your insides when he says it, tells you he likes you and that you're all his and all you gotta do is behave and act right. just get it through that pretty head that he owns you, easy as that.

kirishima is def nicer to you after cumming deep inside of you and making you hold it till you're back to your dorm but his temperment is so easily thrown off. he's still the same old kirishima, mean to you in public and teasin but this time it's with the promise of fucking you dumb.

[cloveroctobers]

October prompts — 7. Fezco ; Euphoria

Prompt: ❛ that’s your face? oh, i thought it was a mask. ❜

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

It was always “don’t do this, y/n.” “Don’t do that, y/n.” “You shouldn’t do that y/n.” And you always did what you were told making you the goodie two shoes but you’ve had enough this fall season

You were sick of the constant judgements and controlling from your family so you decided to scream fuck it all!

And that’s exactly how you ended up in this predicament right now

“It’s honestly not even that bad, y/n. You kinda look like this badass superhero.” Jules said from behind you, fixing the clip that kept your hair from your face

Rue was beside the both of you tearing up some bag of chips as she looked at you and shrugged, “I’m in no place to say shit about anybody. Your parents and your grandma who looks like that lady from eve’s bayou on the other hand? That’s going to be a problem.”

You let out a sob and buried your head in your hands, careful not to the touch the rest of your face as you sat in front of jules’ vanity

Jules sent rue a look who lifted her shoulders, her hand still stuck in her chip bag. Unsure what to do with these emotions coming from you

“Look, it’ll be fine! One day you’ll look back at this and laugh.” Jules tried to persuade you but you lifted your face to look at her in disbelief

“You may not know this about me but I actually get really embarrassed at the little things: the time my hair turned out like twisted metal the first time I dyed it back in middle school and they called me chuckie finster up until graduation, the time I almost busted my face in front of my crush when I received an award in class, or the time I queefed when I got lemon juice squirted into my eye accidentally at this facial appointment…”

Jules couldn’t help but to laugh at the last one but quickly covered her smile before she gripped your shoulders, “welcome to normal life, y/n shit happens and look you’re still here to tell the story.”

You gently wiped at your tears taking multiple deep breaths slowly figuring that Jules was most definitely right, although you felt like shit right now that didn’t mean you would always feel this way

That’s until Fez came through with a knock on the door before peeking his head in to see that you were all fully clothed before he entered the room, “yo, I’ve been honking the horn for a solid ten minutes. What’s up?”

He gave Rue some dap as he got closer to you and stopped in his tracks, “fuck.”

“Fez!” Jules yelled, “y/n decided to be rebellious and got some piercings and a face tat. Tell her she looks pretty.”

Fez licked his lips glancing at rue before shoving his hands into his pants pocket, “that’s your face? Oh, I thought it was a mask.”

That was enough for you to snatch your things from the vanity and leave the room with Jules calling after you and rue sending a shove to fez’s shoulders

You covered your face as Jules’ father asked if you were okay as you left the house to sit on the stoop. You didn’t want to go home and you didn’t want to walk the streets since you knew most people would be in your face and would have something to say too

It only hurt more to hear fez play on your vulnerabilities. Normally you would joke with anybody especially with fez over stupid shit and he expected you to say something like, “Jules and rue, you better get your fucking friend!” Like you commonly do when fez got on your nerves

But not today

You felt him before he sat down next to you. Fez’s energy was always felt when you were in his space or near and right now you tell he was anxious even tho you could smell the weed on him mixed with his cedar wood scent

“Y/n…my fault I didn’t mean to make you upset. Usually we can mess around with each other like that but I wasn’t aware you even felt bad about what they did to your face.” He drawled on, studying your face underneath the fall night

You huffed, “you thought my face looked like a mask!”

“My bad! It’s just—I’m used to what you look like and this caught me off guard, why would you do that shit? You ain’t even need it.” Fez commented

Folding your arms against your knees you sighed, “nobody needs anything but it was something I wanted to do and now I regret it, thanks.”

Fez pulled a ice pack to hand over to you, “the tatt above your brow is fire but that other shit…you look like your allergic to ‘em but I’m no doctor.”

You took the item wincing as you placed it your lip for a few moments before removing it, “so you don’t think I look pretty?”

“You don’t need validation from me, ma. I liked you better without that shit in your face.”

“Agreed.” You laughed, “I also think I need to take that trip to the emergency room, I haven’t felt right since we left the shop.”

Fez kissed his teeth as he quickly got to his feet pulling out his keys, “c’mon man, I knew something wasn’t right when I saw yo ass.”

“Yeah you basically called me fugly to my face.” You laughed as fez pulled you up

“My apologies.”

The both of you began walking to his pathfinder with you getting into the passenger side with fez resting his arms against the car door to look at you in better lighting

“You want to give me a kiss to make up for dragging me?” You kissed your lips at the ginger boy who ducked from your raw, bleeding, and swollen lip

Fez shook his head, “maybe once you don’t look like will Smith from hitch, I’ll think about it y/n.”

Laughing you gave him the middle finger before he hopped into the driver’s seat letting his hand rest against the horn again

Jules and rue finally made an appearance climbing into the backseat as you searched for some music

“You two kiss and make up?” Rue asked leaning against the top of the front seats, grinning at you two

“I don’t know about fezzy but I don’t kiss and tell.” You winked

“That’s some bullshit. I told her I’m not kissing her at all if she keeps fucking with her face.”

“See how he just lied.”

“Aight, I didn’t say it exactly like that but along those lines—

“So there is a possibility this could happen?” Jules pulled rue back to get your reactions

Fez pulled off from the curb as you rested your head against the headrest

“Fez couldn’t handle me with just one kiss, he’ll want a relationship right after.”

Fez gave you the side eye, “Not if you keep being reckless, I already got those two pain in the asses to deal with. I don’t need your Annie are you okay ass added to the mix.”

You laughed feeling the car spin as you attempted to pet fez’s face but completely missed the blue-eyed man’s face who suddenly eyed you worriedly, “love you too, fezzy.”

You replied before you closed your eyes making fez step harder on the gas

•*•*•*••*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

Continue along with my anthology October prompts here

[thotsforvillainrights]

One of my best assets is my tits for days and I love doing one thing with them so who do you think wouldn't mind using their partner as a pillow for that very aspect?

(Congratulation on your boobas anon, I hope this suits you well.)

~Chest Pillows~

(No it’s not really all that smutty but I felt like I needed to let you know its got sex mentions in this one. Also, I’m not sure everyone can insert themselves into this one but be sure that no matter your chest style or size, your fave character will still lay on you like a weighted blanket💗)

~From the League~

-Shigaraki: Oh like some sort of heaven. Imagine you’re playing your favorite game or watching your favorite movie and eating snacks while the lights in your room are set to dim. On top of that, you’re on the best pillow ever? That’s his reality right now.

-Dabi: As if he could do this without it leading to something in the early half of the relationship. The first few times he does it immediately progresses to the bedroom. The next few times it just becomes his favorite place to lay. Who knows? Maybe that’s one of the ways he shows his love.

-Muscular: Now let’s be real here, did you expect him to not be on the list???

-Twice: Not really as sexual but more like a comfort type of thing. He’s gotten too used to it and so have you so it becomes his thing. Of course you’ll have to deal with lewd outbursts but by now I’m sure you’ve dated long enough to know how he can be when it’s not just him talking.

~From the Hassaikai~

-Mimic: In his small form I think you might like it more than he does. Think about it? He’s like a personal heating pad. And the winter time too? That’s literally when it gets to be the best! In his larger form, no way. He may ask and he may beg but you already know he’s a bit too weighty to do it. You might be able to maneuver to better fit him but I wouldn’t try it myself.

-Chrono: Boy he thinks he’s flirty with it too. He’s a big tease with you so watch your back. If you aren’t careful a simple cuddle like this can turn into something else real quick. Just keep in mind those wandering hands when you let him use you like a pillow or else...

-Rappa: This man would JUMP at the opportunity to use your chest as a pillow. You would think he has other motives...and sometimes he does, but for the most part he just like the comfort it offers him. The brute won’t admit it but he also likes being close to you like this.

-Deidoro: What do you think he want from this? Do you genuinely believe its just a cuddle to him or do you think he wants to hit? Be real with yourself. Okay, he’ll admit sometimes its not just the sex he wants from it. He remembers one time he got blackout drunk and you didn’t leave his side that night. he felt like shit the next day and you saw him at his worst but you were still there to hold him close despite seeing him puke his guts out and cry. The position kinda just stuck around after that.

-Hojo: Nothing really naughty here. It’s odd since you never even asked him to do it. It just suddenly happened one day when he got home from work. He was so tired that he collapsed onto the bed. Without a word he curled up into this position and hasn’t really stopped since that day. You don’t really bring it up since you know he’d stop if he felt like it bothered you in any way.

-Setsuno: I think there’s something so intimate about this position to him. It’s not only comfortable like he feels he can vulnerable to you, but it’s more like you’re his only (I’m assuming for the sake of this ask). He’s happy to know that no one else can lay like this on you but him. He feels special, loved like he’s the luckiest man on the planet. He’s a real sweetie.

-Katsukame: If you can manage but it’s honestly the other way around. His chest makes for more than pillows. Like a memory foam mattress or something. I have no idea how you two manage to make it work when it comes to him laying on you.

-Nemoto: Sweet yes, but this man is a secret freak. In fact, he’s probably the one that asked you to lay there first. He’s not staying in that position for long unless he’s tired. Other than that, he’s bringing out whatever smooth words he can use to flirt with you in any way possible. You really didn’t expect it from him since he seemed to be so aloof and rigid when you first met. 

~From the Meta Liberation Army~

-Skeptic: Actually loves setting up camp in this position. Stretches out nice and long and comfy on the bed, opens his laptop and gets to work while you support him. He’ll fall asleep working right there if you let him. At this point, he expects you to be laying there and ready for him to get comfy after work. Sometimes I figure he can’t really sleep unless he’s laying on you like this.

-Trumpet: Big flirt and I don’t care what anyone says. He’s a big flirt and probably asked you to do this within the first 2 weeks of dating each other. He moves a little quick but I think he has a secret fear of you getting away from him so he tends to dive in rather quickly (I’d love to write more about this. Somebody request Trumpet dating please God...) Anyway, if you can avoid those looks he’s giving you then maybe you may be able to simply lay there and cuddle each other but he’s getting impatient and starting to put his mouth to work so I suppose you already know what he’s after...

-Curious: She’s bold with it. In fact the first time you invite her over, she lays on you just like that. She does it like it’s a normal thing to be honest. She just lays on your chest, flicking through various channels and trying to find a movie to watch together. She’ll lay on your ass too if you let her. She’s the type of person that doesn’t mind having your thighs draped over her shoulders either. She will lay anywhere on you. Nothing is off limits as her pillow. I just think she’s a big cuddler.

~The Others~

-Chimera: He’s oddly jealous sometimes with you so he likes to bask in the fact that he’s the only one that can use your chest like a pillow. It’s kinda like a weird prideful feeling that swells in his chest when you let him cuddle you like this. Wanna make him melt? Scratch his scalp while laying like this and watch him groan happily. You’re really too much for him.

-Slice: If you let her lay on you then she’ll let you lay on her. Sound like a good exchange to you?

-Giran: You’ve got to be out of your mind if you think this man is gonna give up the chance to lay on some titty pillows. No really, you’ve got to be crazy to even consider he’d miss the chance. 

(Everyone seriously remember that I think they’d all be into it even if they aren’t on the list. I just think these one’s are MORE into it than the others)