#I've made it a goal to never have her just “stand there”. she HAS to affect something somehow.

[dootznbootz]

It sucks when you wanna write a cunning character and that means you have to think up something cunning yourself

[neverendingford]

.

[justauthoring]

that cherished feeling.

it's a feeling you've never felt before, but bakugou shows you just how wonderful it can feel.

a/n: this is the longest oneshot i've ever written and ive been working on this for like a week lol. i really hope you guys enjoy this :)) i love fantasy au's and specifically (1) barbarian!bakugou!

pairing: barbarian!bakugou katsuki x f!reader

word count: 8,010

warnings: parental abuse, death

“Make sure she looks decent enough for him.”

With a frown, you keep your gaze held ahead even as you’re pulled and tugged in all directions without a single care for your own wellbeing. You know to keep silent, hands held tightly before yourself to stop the violent shaking that overwhelms your body caused by the fear that strikes you deep in the heart.

“He’ll be here any moment,” your step-mother continues, voice cruel, “hurry up!” Her words are hissed at the maids that fret around you, bustling about as they pin your hair back and dust makeup across your face to hide the insecurities your mother refuses to let him see. They’ve been at it for hours now, or at least it feels that way, and you’re tired of being poked and prodded at all for the sake of a man who will probably kill you the second he’s done using you.

They’re barbaric..

They fuck and kill and pillage anything within sight.

They’re monsters.

You’ve heard these whispers around the castle your entire life, maids tucked into corners whispering amongst themselves, the cruel words your step-mother has spat to her council plenty of times. Your entire life you’ve heard about how horrible the Adroghar’s are, that they came into power and nobility by killing Kings, Queens, Princes and Princess’ of different lands, stealing money and destroying villages. 

Your entire life, you’ve been terrified of them.

And now, today, you were about to be married off to one – in other words, sold.

Have you heard? The Queen means to sell Y/N off to the King of the Adroghar tribe!

To Bakugou Katsuki? Isn’t he said to be the most ruthless King they’ve ever had in power?

He’ll kill her. Or worse. Certainly.

If it’s for our safety though, I can’t say I care much…

Yes. Our Queen is doing her best to keep us all safe.

Your step-mother has hated you since the day you were born. You were a constant, living, breathing reminder of your father’s indecency towards her and the second he’d died when you were two, she’s made it her goal to remind you of this fact every day of your life. You’ve been beaten, starved, locked away and treated like garbage by every single person you’ve ever known.

You’ve never felt love. Never felt warmth.

Not a single person has ever cared for you.

And now, to stop the Adroghar tribe from trampling on your land, your step-mother has sold you off to appease them. You had no say just like you never have.

“They’re here!”

A knight comes running into the room, flustered as he calls for your mother’s attention. His words make your entire being freeze, breath caught in the back of your throat as the fear makes your muscles tense.

“The Adrogharian tribe is here!”

Everything else happens in the blink of an eye–you’re forced to move, pulled by hands that grip and pinch at you, your corset tightened around your waist and a sheer shawl draped over your face to cover you from view. Before you know it you’re being led into the main hall where quickly the sound of boisterous chatter echoes and bounces around. You keep your head dipped down as your mother ordered you to, hands clasped politely before you as your nails dig and pinch into your skin.

The second the large doors slam behind you, you know your fate is sealed if it hadn’t already been.

Maybe you could’ve run. Maybe you could’ve tried to fight.

But you know it would’ve ended the same either way.

This is how it’s been your entire life.

Your mother stands directly in front of you, blocking you from view, but you let yourself slowly peek upward, through your lashes. You see the tenseness of your mother’s back as she moves to greet your guests, before slowly letting your eyes drift to who will soon be your husband. Katsuki Bakugou. He’s been the King of the Adroghar tribe for a few years now, having taken over after his mother passed–and since then has made quite a name for himself for being one of the most ruthless and cruel Kings to ever grace the Adroghar tribe.

Considering their record of ruthlessness, this fact scared you even more.

He’s tall, buff with wide shoulders and large hands. His hair is a light blonde that sticks out in every direction, unruly on his head and yet it suits his red, piercing eyes that seem as they penetrate your very sole. He’s wearing a cloak lined with fur, his neck decorated with necklaces with what you can only assume is teeth. The fashion of the Adroghar tribe is very different from the customs of your people, as he wears only trousers and no shirt, showing the world his chiseled chest.

He’s both intimidating and terrifying.

“Ah, King Bakugou,” your step-mother calls out, bowing slowly. It’s odd to see your step-mother bend for another, but you also know she’s deathly afraid of the man before her; given that they had the ability to completely wipe all of you out. “Thank you for making the long trip this way.”

Bakugou regards her with narrowed eyes, shoulders set back as he grunts out; “what’s this offer you have for me?”

Your eyes widen, hands clutching your skirt–he didn’t know?

Letting out a nervous laugh, your step-mother nods; “I heard you have yet to take a wife, my King.”

You watch, best you can see, as his lips set into a thin line. “Our traditions are different from your own,” he hisses, “but… yes. I have not.”

“Well, then, my Bakugou, I offer you my daughter in return for the safety of our Kingdom.”

She steps back then, and you tense, nails digging into the palm of your hands hard enough to draw blood as you raise your head just slightly. Bakugou’s eyes fall on you then, narrowed and dark as he regards you, and feels as if he’s peering into your very soul as you stare back at him then.

“Let me see her face.” Bakugou calls, gesturing for you to step forward.

You move to do so, but you can’t get your feet to work. You’re paralyzed with fear, you realize somewhere along the way–terrified of this man in front of you and the men that linger around him, laughing, cheering, all staring at you with the same leering look that fills your stomach with knots and makes it hard to breathe.

You catch your step-mothers gaze when you don’t move and she’s looking at you with wild panic as she gestures for you to step forward.

You can’t.

“Is she mute or just stupid?” Bakugou hisses.

Your eyes widen, and you feel like you might puke.

Your step-mother’s hand is wrapping around your arm in the next second, grip pinching, yanking you forward as a small yelp leaves your lips in response. You’re thrown, losing your footing as you come crashing to your knees directly in front of the King, your step-mother yanking the shawl off of your head in the next second and a new sense of vulnerability washes over you.

Your step-mother had adorned you in incredibly revealing clothing, more skin than you’ve ever shown on display for all of these leering men to see.

Too afraid to raise your head, you let out a whimper, curling into yourself.

You realize your actions could have you killed but you’re too afraid to care.

I’m going to be killed anyway… raped and then killed. What does any of it matter?

A minute passes and then slowly, Bakugou shifts in front of you. Before you know it, he’s kneeling in front of you, and terror strikes at you when you notice his arm move out of the corner of your eyes, flinching, expecting to be hit or worse, maybe he’s reaching for his sword to kill you–but, neither of that happens. You don’t feel pain or a slap across your cheek, instead, the touch is light and gentle despite his coarse skin as Bakugou gently clasps your jaw, moving your gaze upwards and on his own.

It’s the first time you’ve met his gaze head on, but oddly, his eyes don’t seem so intimidating this close.

He stares at you for a moment, a deep frown etched on his face, before his gaze raises, past you and onto your step-mother.

“Do you always treat your own family like this?”

Your eyes widen. Did he just–

“Bu-but my King, she wouldn’t–”

He scoffs, not even letting her finish and your step-mother falls eerily silent as he does. It’s like his entire personality had changed in the split second you’d been thrown to the ground. He shifts, his hands moving to grab you by the arm, but his grip is gentle, just tight enough to pull you up to your feet. You let him, confused and baffled by what was happening, as your arms curl around you to cover yourself, letting him guide you behind him as you turn to face your step-mother.

You don’t see it, too focused on her harsh gaze on you, but something warm is wrapped around your shoulders a moment later and your eyes fall on Bakugou with parted lips as he clasps his cloak around your neck. He doesn’t smile, but his eyes are soft as you grab his cloak gently, gripping the material close to yourself as the warmth envelops you. 

Bakugou turns to face your step-mother, his face dark and his words menacing. “I should have your head for that.”

Her eyes bulge, as do yours—you can’t believe what you’re hearing. You can’t believe what’s happening. Never once has anyone stood up for you, and the last person you ever thought that would was the man you’d been sold to. A barbarian. A monster.

Yet, despite everything you’ve been told your entire life, he didn’t didn’t seem like a monster to you at that moment.

Your step-mother sputters over her words, indignation flooding her as she stares back at Bakugou. Then, her eyes drift to yours, gaze cold and steely and you know in that moment, like everything else she’s felt has gone wrong, she blames you entirely.

“She’s just the daughter of a measly prostitute!” Your step-mother bellows, eyes crazed as she loses her composure, voice echoing across the suddenly silent hall. No one says a word as she stands there, huffing with rage. Even Bakugou’s men have fallen eerily silent. 

“She’s just the baby of a whore with not a single claim to the throne,” she laughs, hand reaching out to point towards you. “I was giving you to her as a ruse! She’s nothing more than scum on the underside of my shoe.”

The silence echoes and drags.

It feels like hours of agonizing anticipation as not a single person says anything. You can’t see Bakugou’s face but yours is burning red with the humiliation of your truth being spilled out to everyone, most of all Bakugou. Your step-mother has spent her life reminding you, never once letting you live without hearing similar words in the back of your mind. It wasn’t like your people didn’t know either—maids had spent their life leering down at you and knights had laughed at you anytime you’d drifted past them.

But it’s a new sort of humiliation having it be said in front of Bakugou and his men. 

A minute later, but it feels like eternity, Bakugou finally steps forward. It’s one single step, his wide back thoroughly blocking your view of your step-mother in front of you. It’s one step but he’s standing right in front of your mother, close enough to touch her.

“You should know,” Bakugou starts slowly, voice low. “That your background isn’t a matter of concern in the Adroghar tribe. We don’t care if you’re born from a whore or nobility.”

Your face eases, staring at his bare back.

Then, in the next second, he shifts. It feels like you blink and you miss it. There’s a flash of something red and then the thud of something falling to the ground, before your eyes lower and fall on the head of your step-mother, severed from the rest of her body. Her now lifeless eyes stare back at you, lips left parted from her attempt to scream before Bakugou beheaded her—but she never got the chance. 

“Kill the rest of them,” Bakugou orders, turning to face you, a streak of blood across his cheek.

Everyone?

He wanted to kill everyone?

“Here!”

Small hands are thrust in your face, gripping onto the delicate, beautifully made flower crown and behind the hands, rest a beaming face, staring up at you with twinkling eyes.

“For the princess.”

But– the children…

“P-Please!” You’re speaking before you realize it, your voice squeaking in panic as you step towards Bakugou. Your arm pulls out from beneath the large, heavy cloak he’d draped over you seconds ago, meeting his eyes imploringly. “The v-villagers! The children! Please, spare them.”

Bakugou turns to you, shocked eyes falling on you.

You take his expression as one of anger and with a cry, you fall to your knees, holding your hands out before you. “Please, my K-King. Spare the villagers. They’re… they’re innocent.”

A moment of silence passes. Your face is turned towards the ground, forehead all but pressed against the cold stoned floor, shaking as flashes of that sweet, innocent little girl smiling at you surface in your mind. They don’t deserve to die. You don’t care about the rest of them–not your mother who laid dead and beheaded a few feet in front of you and not the maids or the guards who have leered and laughed and tortured you your entire life. But the villagers–the children don’t deserve to die.

“Spare the villagers,” Bakugou orders, and your eyes widen, the beige of the floor flooding your vision. “But kill the rest.”

He–

“Stand up.” Hands fall on your arms, tugging you back to your feet as you stare at Bakugou bewildered. His face is blank, but there’s a hint of something in his eyes you just can’t quite make out. “If you are to be my Queen, I cannot have you on your knees. Not for anyone, including me.”

It seems the customs of the Adroghar tribe are much different than your own, the thought occurs to you. But it isn’t this fact that baffles you. It’s the fact that he calls you his Queen…

He–he still wants to marry you?

“I was promised a bride,” Bakugou calls out, as if he’d heard your thoughts and it’s the first hint of a smile you see on his face as he glances down at you. “I intend to have one.”

-

You stare at the licks of the fire before you, eyes watching the dance of the flames that heat your cheeks.  

In the dead of the night, Bakugou’s men are as loud as ever. They cheer and laugh around the fire a few feet away from you, some bustling about as they feed the horses and make sure everything is in order for travel tomorrow. 

You’d all only travelled for a few hours before Bakugou had called for you all to stop for rest. His men had seemed confused and you yourself had expected to travel for longer given that it had still been quite bright out at the time–but Bakugou had just brushed off the questioning gazes of his men and had helped you off the horse you’d been riding with him. His grip was gentle as he guided you to your feet, ordered his men to prepare a fire for you and then left you there once it was done.

You hadn’t seen him since.

You held his cloak which was still wrapped around your shoulders tightly, your grip tight as every step that sounded just a little too close made you flinch. You were confused and dazed by the events of the day, still not even sure if you’d properly registered what had happened. Your step-mother was dead, murdered in front of you, and now the rest of your family and all of your servants are dead as well. 

You’d expected Bakugou to reject the marriage at the end of it all but…

I was promised a bride. I intend to have one.

And yet he’d said those words so softly, with an odd warmth to them. Yet, you’d be taken with him as he left your castle, the only home you’ve ever known, placed on his horse right in front of him and now staring at a fire in his people’s camp. Yet, you were meant to follow him all the way back to his home and marry him.

Just how has your life changed so much in such a short amount of time?

“Have you eaten anything?”

Gasping lightly at the voice, your head snaps upwards, wide eyes falling on Bakugou’s. He’s stepping towards you, a plate in his hands as he makes his way to sit beside you on the small cot his men had prepared for you. Your eyes watch as he moves, not having properly registered his question as he takes a seat directly beside you. His leg brushes against your own and you hug his cloak tighter to yourself, body tensing.

“Sorry,” he mumbles gruffly, having caught your reaction. He pulls his leg away and then holds the plate out in front of you. “Are you hungry?”

Your eyes dance across the food on the plate, puzzled by the sight. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before.

“All that’s… for me?”

Bakugou’s eyes flicker to the plate, raising a brow; “yes?”

“O-oh, thank you,” with shaky hands, you grab the plate, setting it down on your lap. You feel Bakugou’s eyes on you as you ponder what to try first. It’s not just the amount of the food on the plate, it looks much different than anything you’ve ever seen back at home. You may not have been fed much and whilst you usually were given scraps, you know that this is very different to the traditional food your people eat.

Tentatively, you reach out, taking a bit of it in between your fingers once you notice the lack of utensils and place it in your mouth. Instantly, you're hit with a wave of flavour you’ve never tasted before. Your eyes widen as the taste floods your entire mouth, eyes gleaming with delight as you let out a small moan without thinking.

Bakugou chuckles beside you.

Your eyes fall on him, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“Never tried Adrograhian food before, I take it?”

You shake your head, “that and… well, I’ve never had something so… full of flavour.”

Bakugou blinks, the smile fading from his lips as you turn away, trying to ignore the look on his face as you place your attention back on the food. The two of you sit in silence as you eat the rest of the food, perhaps eating faster and bit more messier than Bakugou probably would’ve expected from you–but you’ve never tasted something so decedent nor had so much food to eat all for yourself. 

When he doesn’t punish you the first few times for shoving your mouth full, you figure it’s alright too.

“Thank you,” you call out to him once the food is done, your voice a soft whisper as you smile softly over at him. “Thank you.” You bow your head.

“There’s no need to do that,” Bakugou calls out in a rush, shaking his head. “You don’t… I won’t… hurt you.”

Blinking, you stare at him, lips left parted.

Distantly, you notice red across his cheeks but Bakugou is standing before you can get a better look, pushing himself to his feet before turning, back facing you. “Get some rest,” he grunts, “we have a long day of travel ahead of us tomorrow.”

You watch him walk off, watch as his back grows further and further away, until you’re once again left alone. Except, this time you don’t feel so lonely. 

A small smile curls onto your lips as his words echo in your mind.

I won’t hurt you.

-

Adroghar is beautiful and unlike anything you’ve ever heard.

You’re not sure what you expected, but tall, ornate buildings with intricate and detailed designs across them all are not what you expected. There’s people everywhere, bustling about, and cheers echo as Bakugou comes marching through with the rest of his men, smiles on their faces as they reach out towards him, celebrating his return.

It isn’t barbaric.

And it isn’t poor and littered and destroyed like you expected.

It’s… lively and warm and inviting.

“So, this is the famous daughter of Cassian Heinrich.”

The second Bakugou pulls you off his horse and sets you onto your feet, you’re grabbed by a pair of hands and pulled into a bright smiling face that beams back at you. It’s a woman, her eyes twinkling with delight and her skin pink and her hair the same colour. She’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before, and you’re shocked, confused by this sudden demanding presence but yet, as you meet her eyes, there’s only warmth staring back at you.

“Oi,” Bakugou calls out, a hand resting on your shoulder as his other hand moves to the girl and yanks her back. “Don’t bombard her like that.”

“Whatever, Bakugou,” the woman scoffs, brushing him off with a wave of the hand.

Your eyes widen at the action–isn’t he the King?

Just who is this woman to regard him so casually?

You half expect Bakugou to kill her for her lack of respect towards him, but as your eyes flutter toward him, you’re bewildered as he simply just scoffs, a light smile on his head as he shakes his head.

“Mina,” Bakugou calls after a moment.

Mina. What a pretty name.

“Hm?” she hums, eyes flickering lazily to glance at him.

“Could you please help Y/N bathe and find some clothes for her to wear?” Bakugou calls out, gesturing to you. “Make sure to wash that shit off her face.”

You pause at his words, eyes flickering to the ground as you distantly reach towards your face. It wasn’t that you thought you were particularly beautiful, if anything, you’d always thought you were quite ugly and your mother had reminded you often that you were. But… but you’d hoped maybe Bakugou had thought differently.

That maybe he’d seen something in you.

Had the makeup your mother had put you made you look worse?

“You really don’t know how to talk to women, Bakugou,” Mina scoffs, stepping towards her as she pulls her arm, tucking you into her side. You stare at her, blinking, before glancing over at Bakugou who stares back, baffled. “Don’t worry,” Mina sings, smiling brightly at you as you slowly put your attention back on her. “Let’s get you bathed and cleaned, all right?”

You nod, slowly, staring back at Bakugou who watches you leave.

Oddly, you don’t want to leave his side.

-

Mina was chatty.

Very.

The entire time she bathes you, washes your face and hair and dresses you, she barely stops speaking.

It’s comforting, in an odd way. She fills in the silence where you can’t find the words, too overwhelmed by everything to know what to say. 

She’s gentle, too. Where the maids back home had pulled and prodded, sneering at you as they reluctantly helped bathed you–it was rare, only on special occasions where your mother needed you for appearances but you’d always dreaded it. They were cruel and harsh and mean and everything in between.

Mina is none of that.

You even smile as she tells you stories about Bakugou. Apparently the two of them have known each other since they were children–them and a few others that Mina tells you about and assures you’ll meet soon.

Once cleaned, dried and dressed, she politely excuses herself, assuring you Bakugou will arrive shortly. You’re left startled when she distantly informs you that it’s Bakugou’s room you’ve been led to but she’s gone before you can say anything otherwise, so, once again left alone, you take a seat on the edge of his bed, not sure what to do.

Your eyes drift across the room, but you don’t dare move.

His room is rather vacant but large. There’s a huge bed, fur carpets draped across the floors and the bed, some swords lined on the wall and a set of armor tucked away in the corner, along with a desk scattered with papers right across from you. It’s everything you would’ve expected from a man like Bakugou.

Still, it makes you feel like you learn just a little about him.

You jump as the door slams open, body freezing as Bakugou comes barelling in. There's a nasty look on his face and it’s like he doesn’t notice you as he strides right past you, throwing a piece of paper onto the desk across from the bed. Your entire body tenses, shoulders straightening as you hesitate, unsure if you should say something or not.

But before you can make the decision, Bakugou’s red, piercing eyes are on you.

However, in an instant, the anger in his eyes is gone. Instead, his gaze softens, eyes wide with pure shock at the sight of you.

“I… I told Mina to lead you to a spare room,” Bakugou explains, “I wasn’t expecting you.”

You move to stand; “I-I can leave–”

“No,” Bakugou calls out, crossing the distance between you in seconds as he reaches for you. You pause, not daring to move as his hand hovers in front of you, instinctively flinching–he halts the second you do, panicked. Your eyes meet his, and you stare, both of you silent, before your gaze flickers to his hand, and you nod.

His fingers brush against the skin of your cheek, eyes dancing across your face.

“You look… beautiful.”

It’s not what you expected. 

It never would’ve been what you expected.

No… no one has ever called you beautiful.

“They covered you with all that makeup,” he continues, voice soft. “But now that I can really see you… you’re beautiful, Y/N.”

Your eyes stare at his cheeks warming.

“You… you really think that?”

He frowns, “yes,” and there isn’t an ounce of doubt in his voice.

Tentatively, unsure, you raise your hand, setting it over his own. “No one has ever called me that before.”

“Beautiful?”

You nod.

The frown deepens, and Bakugou wants to say more but all he says instead is; “well, you are.”

You smile up at him. Soft, gentle and demure. But there’s so much feeling behind the smile, portraying every bit of emotion Bakugou has made you feel in the short amount of time you've been with him.

“Thank you.”

And he stares back, unsure of the feelings coursing through him–he’d had every intention of denying your mother’s proposal, of slaughtering them all and you included. When he’d first seen you, he’d scoffed at the sight of you, dressed in fine silk that didn’t leave anything to the imagination, your face covered as it was tradition for your people. You’d look skittish, curled into yourself, head bowed and Bakugou couldn’t deny that in that moment, he’d felt nothing.

Not a single thing towards you.

And then your mother had grabbed you and tossed you to his feet, ripping the shawl off your face and Bakugou can’t quite explain it but… something had changed.

Everything had changed.

He thinks back to the conversation he’d had with one of his men just minutes before entering his room, about what was expected of him.

“You must consummate your marriage.”

Bakugou sighs, “I’ve told you, Sero, I have no intention of–”

“Why’d you take her back with us if you had no intention of giving her a child?”

Narrowing his eyes, Bakugou turns to look at the man standing across from him. “Did you expect me to just leave her there? With her family's blood across the walls and no one to take care of her?”

Sero pauses, face twisting into an expression of bewilderment; “I expected you to kill her like the rest of them. She’s just an ordinary human.”

Bakugou can’t rightly explain it but rage seethes through his body at Sero’s word. He’s crossing the distance over to him in seconds, wrapping a hand around the man’s throat and squeezing with a manic look in his face.

“Don’t talk about her like that.”

To his credit, Sero doesn’t falter; “I don’t understand why this girl means so much to you.”

Swallowing thickly, Bakugou huffs, pulling away as he spins, scoffing. “I don’t know,” he mutters, frustrated at his own lack of understanding. Sero was right. You were just an ordinary woman, apparently born from an illegitimate relationship. You had no special qualities, had been raised as a noble by the looks of it–you were skittish and quiet and jumpy and nothing special. 

Bakugou was the King of the Adroghar tribe. He had dragon’s blood coursing through his veins, had strength unheard of and the endurance and ability of a warrior. He’s been raised to be a King, to take charge, to pillage and kill and take what he wants without a single care for anyone else.

Most of all, everyone expected him to pick an Adrogharian woman to marry.

Not a human.

Not you.

“I’m heading to my tent,” Bakugou grunts, “make sure I am left alone.”

“Bakugou?”

Blinking, Bakugou is pulled from his thoughts at the sound of your soft voice calling for him.

He leans back when he realizes you’ve leaned forward, concern etched in your eyes as you stare up at him. It’s instinctive the way his eyes trail lower, and he does it without thought, eyes drifting across your soft, supple skin, taking note of the dress Mina had dressed you in; it was thin, the edges hemmed with lace and rather sheer.

Instantly, he feels his face warm.

You must consummate your marriage tonight.

“You may sleep here tonight,” Bakugou suddenly calls out in a rush, pushing himself off the bed and turning so his back is facing you. “I will sleep somewhere else.”

He’s opening the door before you can say anything, calling out a short ‘goodnight’ over his shoulder before the door slams shut behind him. You jump as he does, lips curving down as he leaves you, once again, all by yourself.

He must’ve been repulsed, you can’t help but think despite his words.

There’s no way a man like him could think you were beautiful.

-

It’s been a few days since Bakugou took you home and you haven’t seen him once since that night.

Your days are mostly spent in the company of Mina and a handful of maids that Bakugou had assigned to you. Despite the sense of familiarity you slowly develop each day, there’s a nag at the back of your mind at Bakugou’s lack of presence–you weren’t sure what you had done, but whatever it had been clearly had been enough to cause him to avoid you.

Today’s the first day Mina has left you alone, with the excuse that there are duties she’s been neglecting that she must attend to. You brush aside her worries, assuring her that it’s alright and spend the first hour of your morning sitting in Bakugou’s room, basically doing nothing. You expected Bakugou to have you assigned to your own room since that first night he left you, given that after all this was his room you were sleeping in–but he never did and still not really knowing your way around the castle completely and not being told otherwise, you remain there.

Then again, the lack of Mina or even your handmaids, makes the experience incredibly more lonely.

You’re bored.

Incredibly so.

So, you ignore the fear striking your heart, still unsure of the limits that were expected of you, and leave his room. The whole thing is one huge maze, but eventually you find yourself outside, tucked away into a huge field lined by a huge forest, with a cave directly in the middle of it. There isn’t a single person around, and everything is entirely silent; you can hear the wind brush through the glass and leaves, can hear your footsteps as you walk and can hear your own heart racing madly against your chest.

It’s beautiful. Everything you’ve seen since arriving here has been beautiful but this… little alcove is gorgeous.

Smiling softly to yourself, you crouch, letting your hands drift across the grass, enjoying the feeling of it against your skin. This is the most freedom you’ve ever felt your entire life and you’ve never been allowed to just explore without the prying eyes of your mother watching your back, staring you down with judgement and hatred.

It’s a new feeling and one you rejoice in, laughing quietly to yourself.

But you’re quickly pulled out of your own little world at the sound of thud, one that rumbles underneath your feet. It causes you to jump, body tensing in fear, head snapping upwards, only for your eyes to fall on… a dragon.

It’s… huge.

It towers over you, a great, large beast that steps out from beneath the confines of the cave, dazzling red scales and eyes that stare right back at you. Oddly, you’re not afraid–you’re frozen in the spot, standing there as it steps towards you, hands limp by your sides and you can’t find it within you to move or walk or do anything but… but you’re not afraid. This dragon could kill you in seconds and it’s one of the most intimidating creatures you’ve ever seen, but you feel comfort as it stares back at you.

You’d known dragons had existed and somewhere in the back of your mind you’d known that the Adrogharian tribe was famous for being dragon tamers–but you’ve never seen one in person.

It… snorts? You’re not sure. Its mouth opens and a noise you’ve never quite heard before comes out, a brush of strong wind hitting you directly in the face, nearly knocking you off your feet.

And then, somehow, you find yourself laughing.

It's the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen

Distantly wondering if you’re crazy, you step forward, small, tentative steps until you’re directly in front of the dragon. Its snout is within reach, and slowly, you raise your hand, eyes flickering from its snout to its eyes, hesitant, before you let your hand fall on the front of its snout. Your hand barely covers any of the dragon, the sheer size of it massive compared to you but its scales are coarse and rough beneath the soft touch of your fingers.

Then, ever so slightly, you watch as its eyes fall shut and he pushes, gently, toward your hand.

“Oh,” you call softly, “nice to meet you too, dragon. My name is Y/N.”

It lets out a gruff, and you pull back with a laugh as it shakes its head.

“His name is Kirishima.”

A yelp leaves your lips as you spin, eyes falling on that of Bakugou who’s stood in front of you.

Panic strikes you, worried he’ll be mad you left his castle or worse, that you even left his room. Swallowing thickly, you step towards him, hands held out before you; “my K-King, I-I–”

“He normally doesn’t like new faces,” Bakugou cuts in gently, sending you a smile as he steps forward, turning his head towards the dragon. He reaches forward and the dragon, Kirishima, nudges its snout towards Bakugou, knocking into him far more aggressively than he had you. Bakugou barely nudges, staying strongly rooted to the spot as he pats Kirishima, before letting his eyes fall back on you. 

“My King, I just wanted to get some fresh air, I–”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Bakugou assures, “everything within the castle is yours.”

Every tense muscle in your body eases, shoulders falling with disbelief.

“I wanted to introduce you to Kirishima,” Bakugou continues, smiling over at his dragon. “We’ve known each other since we were children. He’s very important to me.”

Letting your eyes fall on Kirishima, you flush; “and you wanted to introduce him to me?”

“Of course,” Bakugou assures with ease, nodding. “Isn’t it normally to share these things with your wife?”

Biting your lip, you glance at your feet; “I wasn’t sure you still… thought of me that way…”

Bakugou frowns, “I apologize for disappearing for a few days. I was preparing a surprise for you.”

Turning to him, surprised, your lips part; “a surprise?”

“Yes,” he smiles gently at you. “For tonight. Mina will help you prepare as well.”

-

“A picnic?”

Bakugou’s cheeks are bright red as he stares back at you.

“Do you not like it?”

Gathering your skirt, you shake your head, moving to sit in front of Bakugou. You’d wondered why Mina had dressed you in such light, airy clothes, a pretty pale pink colour as she fretted over making sure your hair was back and out of your face. It made sense now, you realize, that she’d gone to such lengths.

All for a picnic Bakugou had prepared.

“I love it,” you admit with a gentle smile, voice still quiet as you nod at him. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Mina helped me,” he explains, looking entirely too uncomfortable for something that was his plan. He’s sat across from you, one knee up which he rests his arm on, but his face is still burning red and it’s like he can’t meet your gaze properly as he explains. “I know nothing about wooing a woman.”

Before you know it, you’re laughing.

Bakugou’s eyes snap to yours, turning red even further (if that was even possible) as you quickly press your hands to your lips, trying to muffle the giggle.

It doesn’t help.

“Are you laughing at me?” Bakugou asks incredulously, eyes bulging. 

You shake your head, despite how blatant of a lie that is. “I’m sorry,” you apologize, biting your lip as you smile over at him. “It’s just… are you trying to woo me?”

Pausing, Bakugou meets your eyes before quickly turning away. “Maybe,” he mutters, before his shoulders fall. “Yes. Is it working?”

Leaning forward, you shift, brushing your skirt under you as you get more comfortable. “Yes,” you assure. “I just didn’t expect that. Most men would’ve just married me, regardless of whether I wanted to or not.”

Bakugou stares at you. “Is that how it’s like with your people?”

You glance at the array of food, pleasantly happy when you recognize a few fruits you used to love as a little girl–it’s been ages since you’ve been allowed to taste the sweetness of a strawberry.

“Yes,” you explain, as if it’s normal. “If I were… not an illegitimate daughter, I probably would’ve been arranged to marry a few years ago.”

You pause, however, when you see the look of bafflement on Bakugou’s face.

“I mean,” you start, slowly. “That’s why my step-mother reached out to you, remember?”

You watch as Bakugou swallows thickly. “I didn’t know until I got there and I-I… well, what I said… I didn’t mean it.”

Your brows furrow before it clicks in your mind.

I was promised a bride. I intend to have one.

Lips parting, you blink at him owlishly.

“I wouldn’t ever force you to marry me.”

Hands moving to fall in your lap, you force yourself to utter the words; “and… if I said I wanted to?”

Bakugou shifts; “marry me?”

You meet his eyes nervously, nodding. “Yes.”

“Then… I’d say… I’d love to.”

The instant relief that floods you is comforting, the smile curling onto your face once more at his reassurance. “I would be honoured,” you grin over at him, “I’ve felt that way since you took me with you.”

Reaching forward, Bakugou takes your hand in his own; “it’s I who feels honoured.”

-

You were dressed in a beautiful white gown, decorated with lace and delicate designs sewn into the material. It cinched at the waist and reached the floor, with a trail that followed behind you. Your hair had been twisted and braided and pulled up into a hairstyle similar to the ones you used to wear as a little girl. 

It was exactly like the style you’d grown up with and completely different from the Adrogharian traditions you’ve grown accustomed to. The only thing missing was the makeup across the face but you hadn’t argued when Mina had purposely avoided applying any–it brought both comfort and despair to you, staring back at your reflection through the mirror in front of you.

You… felt beautiful.

More than you ever had.

And it reminded you of home–of your childhood and brought a sense of comfort and familiarity to those early years of your life when your father had still been alive, memories of things you didn’t all together remember given how young you were but was a sense of nostalgia you rejoiced in. Before it had all been stolen from you cruelly and your step-mother had made it her goal to ruin you.

In that way, at the same time, it also reminded you of everything that had been stolen from you the second he’d died.

It was bittersweet and yet, it was the sweetest, kindest thing any single person had ever done for you and you cherished it.

“Are you ready?”

Turning to Mina, you nod.

You're led out of the room and down a few halls, until eventually the warm night air surrounds you. The sight before you astonishes you. Rows and rows of Bakugou’s men, all split in the middle where a path of flowers lay and at the end of it rests Bakugou, adorned in a regal shirt and trousers, so opposite of his normal attire. It looks odd on him in the same way he looks incredibly handsome.

And the realization sinks in then.

This is your wedding.

It had come to mind before given the dress but you weren’t sure, especially since Bakugou had talked about it but never beyond that initial conversation. You also figured that the wedding would be done in Adrogharian tradition.

This though? Made everything clear.

You turn to look at Mina who smiles brightly at you, clasping your arm in her own as she slowly starts to lead you down the aisle. Everyone’s eyes are on you, watching you but your attention is solely focused on Bakugou standing in front of you, hands clasped in front of him as he watches you grow closer and closer.

And then, suddenly you’re in front of him.

“Is… all this for me?” You whisper, clasping at your skirt nervously.

“Yes,” he nods, slowly, a nervous expression crossing his face. “Is… is it too much?”

You shake your head; “no,” you smile gently, “no this is… perfect.”

“Good.” His face eases instantly, and then, he tugs at the collar of his shirt. “Because this shirt is incredibly itchy and I’m wearing it for you.”

Despite yourself, you let out a laugh. It bursts from your lips, your hand instantly raising to cover your mouth as you giggle, glancing down at your feet. Bakugou stares at you as you laugh, never having heard the sound before, before he reaches forward, tilting your head upward by the chin.

He’s smiling gently down at you, his gaze the softest you’ve ever seen.

“Shall we get married?”

-

His touch is gentle–hesitant.

You can hear every breath he takes as you stare up at him, hands hovering before yourself.

“I don’t want to pressure you,” he whispers, using his arm to hold himself up. You’re splayed across his bed, the sleeve of your wedding dress slipping down the side of your shoulder, revealing bare skin that stares up at him mockingly. 

He wants you–but he won’t force you.

Pressing your hands against his chest, you try to ignore the shake of your body; “it’s not… that I don’t want to,” you confess despite the flush across your cheeks and the heat soaring through your body. “I just… I’m afraid.”

“Of me?”

And his voice comes out quiet, scared. You barely catch it but it’s there, eyes flickering up to meet him as he stares back at you, concern etched into his face.

“No,” you assure, shaking your head. “No, not of you.”

He leans back, shifting so he’s sat back and you follow his movements, pushing yourself up to face him properly. Your hands fall limp in your lap as you stare down at them, clutching at your skin tightly as nerves well inside of you, make your chest tighten and your body tense with anxiety.

“Then…”

“My K-King–”

“Katsuki,” he cuts in, reaching for you. “Call me Katsuki.”

You pause. “Katsuki… before you, I'd never known love.” The words are uttered with pain, hands moving to hold yourself as you turn away from him, embarrassed. But you wanted him to know. Wanted him to understand. “My father died when I was just a little girl and the second he was gone, my mother spent the rest of my life torturing me. I was tucked away, kept hidden from people while she beat me, starved me and told me how I would… never measure up to anything.

“The day you came, she had every intention of selling me to you as a bargain piece for the safety of herself. And she expected you to kill me.”

Licking your lips, you turn to face him.

“That or worse.”

He stares at you, lips left parted with the hesitance of uncertainty. 

“I expected the same,” you whisper, “but now I know you’re not like that. That you’re not some ruthless, barbaric man but you have a heart and your people love you. You’ve given me more happiness than I’ve ever felt and made me feel love for the first time since my father died… I’m not scared of you, I’m scared that once you see me–truly see me, I’ll lose you.”

There’s a beat of silence before Bakugou is leaning towards you. His hands fall on your waist and suddenly you’re falling back against the bed with a light huff of shock, eyes flickering up to meet his own that hover above you. He’s smiling, you realize, but there’s anger in his eyes–yet, it’s not directed at you.

There’s rage burning in his irises and you feel safe because of it.

“You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met,” he confesses. “The second I saw your face that day, my world lit up. I want to kill every person who’s ever hurt you, if I haven’t already. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to make you forget about everything.”

You feel your heart quicken, his words echoing in your mind as you stare up at him and see only sincerity staring back at you.

His words are warm and loving and they make you feel like your skin is on fire, a lit with a sensation you’ve never felt. Love pours from his words and he stares at you like you’re the only person that matters–that you're the only person who exists in this world for him.

He envelopes you completely and you relish in it.

“Nothing could ever make me think otherwise.”

Reaching up, you cup his cheeks, fingers brushing against the skin before holding him, the edges of your lips quirked up with a soft, gentle smile..

“You really mean that?”

He nods, thumbs pressing into the pads of your hips, as his eyes dance across your face. “More than anything.”

“Okay then,” you laugh lightly, “then I give myself to you.”

He blinks, lips parting.

“Everything.”

And the surprise fades, replaced by pleasure as he leans forward, the ghost of his lips brushing against your own.

“And I give you the same in return.”

[futbolfatale]

Origin Story

Pairing: Alpha Alexia Putellas/Omega Reader, Omega Mapi León/Omega Reader, Alpha Ingred Engen/Omega Reader,

Summary: You get invited to a Barca game by an Alpha at your school who wouldn't accept.

Tags/Warnings: Dubious consent, Bathroom sex, scent marking,

Note: Only is Mapi the only one in this but there will probs be a part 2 with the rest of the pack.

The only reason I've been writing lately is @insomniakisses who definitely doesn't know I exist but I love their blog.

Something about their writing has inspired me for better or worse.

Wordcount: 1.1K

When you got invited to the Barca vs Real Madrid Game by a girl at your college of course you accepted.  She was in a couple of your classes but all you knew about her is that she is an alpha and is kind of a dick. But you would be crazy not to know how expensive tickets are and surely she can’t be as bad as everyone says. But this girl surely has another motive for inviting you. It will come to light soon as you sit next to each other in the crowded stadium. Her scent is aggressive forward and fills the space around you it's almost like Lily and maybe an undertone of patchouli. Overall not the best when you're already surrounded by unfamiliar scents. 

You can’t help but grow excited as they walk out. Okay, so you may have a major crush on some of the players. By some you mean most but it makes since it’s pretty common knowledge that the different teams are packs. Which makes transfers even more devastating. Even so, everyone knows that Barca has two omegas already which is already more than most other packs. They differently don’t need another which is devastating to you but it's not like you could ever be with them anyway. It’s rare for a Futbal pack to mate with someone outside of the football world.

It’s around 20 minutes in before Maddie, whose name you’ve just learned, takes off her sweater revealing that she is wearing a Real Madrid jersey. “Are you seriously wearing that right now?” You ask incredulously. “Ya Real Madrid is going to win, I promise you. They are the superior team,” she responded as if you were stupid for thinking any different. “Barca is definitely better, they have a stacked roster.” You argue back, growing more annoyed. Most likely due to her attitude problem and overwhelming scent. “Real Madrid will win” She seems so assured of herself as if she can already see the outcome of the game. “That's never going to happen. I bet you Barca will win and If they don’t I will write your next essay for you.”. “Deal”

It's not even 10 minutes later that Hansen scores and you're left with a smile on your face. It’s a good feeling to know your rights. Maybe you’ll pick up a sweet treat on the way home. You deserve it after dealing with this idiot. But it's all worth it for free tickets. “I told you” You gloat but only a little. “They're going to pull through one goal doesn’t mean anything,” Maddie responds sharpley her scent turning sour. “One goal can be the difference between winning and losing” You count to praud her mostly for your amusement. “ You think I don’t know that. I know football better than you.” She growls her fangs obvious in her aggressive state. So maybe you fucked with her a little too much but god it was so funny. “Sorry,” You startle as Pajor scores. You definitely made the right choice when picking a team to support.

By the end of the game, you are bursting with excitement a 5-0 win is crazy. You can feel Maddie seething beside you but it doesn’t sour your mood. As you move to stand at the barricade watching the players trade jerseys and such. Then Mapi Leon comes to your section and you're practically vibrating as she strips off her jersey. She walks closer to you her scent is so strong probably from running for so long. “ Would you like it?” She asks looking directly into your eyes. It's like a shock to your system “Yes” You take it from her gratefully and she flashes a toothy grin. “You so pretty princess” Her voice is so low. “Thank you” You can’t help but blush as she sprints off to join her team.

You gather up your things and walk out of the stadium with Maddie. You are starting to feel overheated and are growing quickly annoyed by Maddie.  Her mood has only seemed to worsen since the end of the game. The heated feeling only grows as you move through the stadium. “I’m going to run to the bathroom before we leave.” You split off from Maddie not waiting to hear her response. You have all your things if she leaves you it won’t be the end of the world. You slip into the bathroom and lock yourself in. You lean against the wall and take a deep breath of the jersey. It smells strongly of citrus and has an undertone of cinnamon. It soothes some of the heat under your skin.

You startle as the bathroom opens and someone else steps inside. It takes a moment for their scent to register. Citrus and cinnamon same as the jersey. You open the stall door and peek out to see Mapi standing by the door looking directly at you. “I thought I could smell you in here” She hurried towards you and pushed you back into the stall. “What are you doing” You ask dropping the jersey as she grabs your wrist. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You smell so good” She nuzzles her face into your neck. “Let me have you please” She whispers her accent thicker than before. “You want me but you have Ona if you want an omega” You reason. Sure you want this but you want her to think clearly. “I can and have had Ona but I want you. Once I have had you im sure they will want you as well.” she pushes you into the wall and slides a hand down your pants. Her fingers trace along your cunt through your underwear. “Say yes please I need you” She whimpers into your shoulder tonguing at your scent gland. “Yes. Yes please” you moan rolling your hips against her hand. She slides her fingers past your underwear to rub at your clit. ‘Take me please I need it too bad.”You moan grinding against her. “Shh you can have it see” she slips two fingers inside you with ease. It makes you uncomfotbly aware of how slick you are. It only last a second before shes distracting you by moving her fingers and using her other hand to rub at you clit.

You cum twice before Mapi finally lets up. As you catch you breath she is collecting your things and straightening out your clothes and hair. “ Come with me we are having dinner tonight. Please,” she asks tacting on the please almost as an afterthought. “I'll go but I've got school tomorrow and I really can’t afford to miss any more of my lectures this semester.” You explain as the two of you head out of the stall. Mapi stops to wash her hands before leading you out of the stadium.

[bugixxxbunny]

Toji Fushiguro X reader

Description: Reader is fresh out high school starting her first year of college, she goes to spend her afternoon with her tutor and has a run in with his father and has a change in profession and gets tutored in two new subjects~ ♥

PART TWO ♥

"Don't call me that, tsk." He mumbles, "Toji kid, didn't the brat tell you, my name? Just wondering why you were rummaging in my house," he said. His voice was imitating on its own, but the way he accused you made it worse. This was not the impression you wanted to leave. You quickly stood to your feet. I'm sorry, that was disrespectful. I shouldn't have— Before you could finish, Toji cut you off. "Didn't take you as a pushover," he smirked. Your anger bubbled. Your fists clenched, nails digging into the flesh of your palm, leaving small slivers of crests and moons in its wake before you shout, YOU HAD NO IDEAS OF MY INTENTIONS, OLD MAN, AND WHAT'S IT TO YA? YEAH, I'M GETTING A GLASS OF WATER!? You quickly stand up, shoving past him to get to the sink. "You've got a spike in you, brat; it doesn't go unnoticed," he says coldly, turning to you. "Are you strong?" he asks. You stare at Toji, unsure of what to say. "I don't have all day," he says, intruding on your thoughts before letting out an exaggerated yawn. I have no idea. I've never fought anybody, old man. You roll your eyes, assuming he was going to take revenge somehow.… A minute of silence passes before he says, "Want me to teach you?" You and Toji exchange numbers, and you come over when Megumi was out (due to your request). That's how you got in this predicament, pinned down to the floor by Toij. UNCLE! This was your fourth time tapping out. You were sweating and panting. Your hazy eyes looked at the clock that sat on the counter. It read 10:40. Then your eyes fall on Toji, who sat next to you, looking quite uninterested. "You lasted three minutes this time; you can do much better." I'm exhausted. You sigh, running a hand down your face. Toji stands up and stretches. "I won't fight back this time," Toji said, his arms fall down to his sides. You have to be joking!? You quickly sat up. "You have two minutes, then I start fighting back. Your goal knocks me to the floor." "Start now, kid. Quit stalling." Toji says his nonchalant attitude never falters, but you already had a plan. You dashed up to him, left punch; you didn't care to win; you just wanted one good hit. He dodged swiftly; a snicker left his lips. "I agreed not to fight back, but I'm not going to be a punching bag brat!" Are you sure about that? You moved swiftly, faking him out by swinging your left fist and then kicking with your right leg. He grabbed your fist before your foot came in contact with his stomach, twisting your foot in his stomach and pushing him back, then you stand your ground again. Toji smirks and speaks, "Good job, kid. You landed a hit. You have one minute before I return it." His grin widens. You roll your eyes and continue trying to throw hits, but you continuously get dodged. "35 seconds," Toji reminded you. You shake with anger; you grab his hair with force, making his face come in contact with your knee over and over again, despite the force of him trying to pull away. You let go but quickly grip his hair once more, but behind him, ripping him to the floor, pouncing on his chest, taking your seat. I WON SUCK THAT YOU OLD FUCK! You cheer, gasping for air with 10 seconds left. Toji snickers before two rough, large hands connect with your waist. You gasp, W-what's that for? salty, I wo—but before you could finish gloating, Toji cuts you off. "Even a seasoned pro like me can help a girl like you." Huh?

-Bunny ♥

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I think it's very fun to talk about mental health in normalizing conversations because when I was little and I would tic so hard for so long that I started crying, my mom would hold my hands and tell me to stand on her toes and she would "dance me through it" and so I would and she would spin around and around, stepping carefully so my little feet never slipped off the top of her feet, but moving fast so I would get all giggly and dizzy, and by the end she was right! My ticcing wasn't as bad anymore.

And like. I know now that it's because I was actively stressing myself out trying to stop ticcing, and since my tics are stress-reactive that obviously made it worse, but at the time I was just a kindergartener living in a world where dancing made my body stop performing the compulsions and so sometimes I would "dance myself through it" if mom wasn't around and when people maxe fun of me for it, I couldn't do that around them anymore and so I would tic more often and get more overwhelmed and there were days I wouldn't stop ticcing for hours on end because no one but my mom was willing to just let me dance through them.

But until the first time that happened, I didn't know there was anything unusual or unfamiliar to others about what I was doing. My mom was just so matter of fact about it "when you can't stopticcing, that's your body asking you to move and dance amd get the stress out" so I believed her! Of course I did. And she was right even, at least for me.

I was an adult by the time I learned that my mom ticc'd too, because she'd been doing what she taught me for so long that it was rare it happened visibly anymore, and it made sense that she'd been able to move me through my own experience so gently after that. But what if it didn't take a parent sharing our experience to be able to exist in a context that doesn't pathologize or shame what's happening?

Anyway, I've been in and out of various inpatient and outpatient programs since I was 7yrs old, and nothing did more damage to me than the people who taught my mother that there were things about my brain and body that were Wrong TM and needed fixing when she had spent the entirety of my life up to that point accommodating my needs and helping me understand how to coexist in the world on my own terms. I've benefitted from having names for things, sure, and I've had great healing and community in peer groups based around sharing those experiences. But at the end of the day, it is when those same spaces allow me to decide how to talk about what my life feels like that they have meant the most to me. I will always be grateful to the mental health care providers in my life who have been supportive of this type of care for me, but ultimately I also understand that they were able to do that because they were actively breaking down my framework of "because I experience x, I must compensate with y" into a gentler version that goes more like "because I experience x, I may need to seek out y outcome in different or unexpected ways."

I don't know why that makes as much difference to me as it does, but it does.

Anyway, I want to do for someone else what my mom did for me. I want someone else to get to feel like they can ask themselves what they need to get through something and not set any particular moral or emotional meaning to that need.

I have, among others, symmetry tics. If I experience a sensation on one side of my body, I will often reflexively try to adequately mirror it on the other side of my body. One of the pitfalls I often fall into is "the symmetry tic was actuallya different sensation and now I have to mirror THAT on the original side" and off we go into a tic spiral. The trick, for me, has been learning how to hold myself safely in the stress of the tic compulsion until the original sensation passes or fades and that allows the compulsion to fade with it. That can be hard, but taking a cue from my mom, I've found that when I occupy my body with movement, especially goal oriented but indefinite movement like dance, I have a MUCH easier time waiting for the trigger sensation to fade. I think it's good for those of us with experiences we often feel compelled to hide from view to get time in the sun. It lets us remember that our existence is not inherently side-lined in favor of other existences, and we do have the right to ask people to work with us on creating space for our own version of living. That may not guarantee us the desired outcome, but I've found that feeling you have the right to ask in the first place and actively come to the conclusion TOGETHER that there is not a solution is what seems to allow me to make those compromises without feeling erased or ashamed when I do.

[peachhcs]

macklin definitely invited the to the next game and he plays so well everyone’s like why is mack playing so hard ….. they don’t find out for a while. mack rushed out after the game to find her and no one saw them together

this is kind of short i’m sorry 😵‍💫 but i think it’s so funny mack would just disappear after games and the guys would be so confused

au masterlist

macklin flew across the ice after the puck. the fans in the sap center were on their feet cheering the rookie on as he fought his stick through the guys of the detroit red wings. the younger player was on fire tonight, making two goals already in the first period. not that anyone was complaining, but they wondered what the boy drank or ate earlier to make him play like he was. 

"what's up with him?" eklund leaned over to where will was on the bench. 

"what do you mean?" will wondered, eyes on the game waiting to get called in. 

"i'm not complaining, but celly has been going ham tonight," eklund chuckled and bordeleau heard the two talking, popping himself into the conversation.

"dude, he's been on fire. what'd he drink earlier?" the older player laughed and will didn't have an answer for them nor did he really see a huge difference in his friend's performance. he was just playing like he usually did. 

"i have no idea. he's always this good?" will raised his eyebrow. 

"i mean yeah, but if i didn't know any better, it feels like there's someone special watching him tonight," thomas smirked and then the older guys dropped the conversation before will could respond. 

he became puzzled for a second, thinking back to a few weeks ago when macklin was constantly hiding his phone from him. he was still doing that, but will just sort of let it go knowing mack would never tell him. after hearing eklund and bordeleau talk about it though, will started wondering if what they were saying could have any truth behind it. the blonde glanced behind him for a quick second like he'd see someone in the stands that wound just stand out to him but with the hundreds of fans in the arena, they all looked the same to him. no one was standing out.

unbeknownst to will, blaire was seated four rows up from the bench. she had on a simple sharks t-shirt mack gave to her for the night. she was focused on the game that she didn't see will look back in her direction briefly. she was impressed with mack's two goals so far, a wide grin on her features. he had definitely grown a lot since they were in chicago and shattuck. 

the brunette skated across the ice towards the goal, missing it by just an inch when he passed to his teammate. the fans cheered nonetheless, the whole arena buzzing with excitement. blaire had never been to a hockey game as loud as this one, but she was happy seeing all of these fans cheer her rookie on. 

mack's gaze would occasionally glance towards the stands where blaire was. a smile always found its way to his lips seeing her cheering him on like old times. he also made sure she wouldn't be sitting next to any weirdos that would pester her and the boy still looked up there to make sure she was doing alright. she was content in her seat next to a mom and her kids and two teenage girls on her other side. mack badly wanted to give her a shirt with his name across the back but they hadn't even gotten that far yet, so he had to live with just a plain sharks shirt. 

when the game finished mack met blaire around the back where no fans would see them or any of his teammates. the girl quickly smiled when he came out in his suit and freshly showered. 

"you played so well!" she beamed and the boy smiled. 

"thank you. thanks for coming too," they exchanged a quick hug.

"that was probably the most fun i've ever had a hockey game. i didn't realize how exciting it got in the arena. you'll have to bring me along again sometime," mack thought her smile was to die for. 

"i'm glad you had so much fun. do you wanna grab something to eat before i drop you off back at your dorm?" the brunette wondered mainly because he didn't want the night to be over just yet. blaire flushed, "yeah, i'd like that."

mack grinned and then quickly led then out of the arena before getting caught. by the time will and the rest of the players made it out, the brunette was long gone. 

"where'd our star of the night go?" toffoli looked around when the younger brunette was no where to be seen. 

"who knows. maybe he found some fan to hookup with," bordeleau joked.

"ha! i wouldn't put that past him," eklund chuckled too and will just rolled his eyes. he'd definitely know if mack was hooking up with some fan because mack was bad at keeping secrets and was always telling will about something he learned during the day. 

"thanks for that, bordeleau. we'll catch up with him tomorrow at practice," tyler determined and the others agreed. everyone was pretty tired and wanted to head home knowing they had morning skate tomorrow. 

no one would figure out where mack would disappear to after games until a lot of months later.

[alotofpockets]

Fan interactions | Grace Clinton x Reader

Summary: You admire the way Grace interacts with her fans.

Woso masterlist | Words: 1k

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You were in the stands of Brisbane Road Stadium, wearing your favourite Spurs jersey with your girlfriend’s name on the back. Your attention on the midfielder wearing number eight. Football had never really been your thing, but you loved coming down to support her as often as you could. 

Spurs were ahead by 2-0, and still they were determined to expand their lead, you could see it on all the player’s their faces, and the way they were moving on the field. Grace had tried to teach you the rules of football, and what certain things meant. You swear you tried, but there was definitely a lot that didn’t stick. She never minded though, she would tell you over and over again if she had to. She just loved the effort you put into learning her sport, and the way you would come to support her even if you didn’t know half of what was happening.

It was the 85th minute when you saw Grace charging forwards with the ball, leaving defenders behind her one by one. You watched hopeful, as the determination to get the goal was present on her face. With one look up from outside the box, a term you remembered, she kicked the ball over the keeper, earning the team another goal. Your girl had scored and you cheered loudly, along with the rest of the Spurs fans in the stadium. The players all celebrated on the field together. When Grace got out of the huddle she found you in the crowd, and made a heart with her hands. Your heart melted at her adorable gesture, you blew her a kiss in response.

When the final whistle was blown, and the players did their round around the stadium signing things for some fans, and taking pictures with them, Grace found you again. “Hi baby, the girls want to say hi if you're up for it.” It had been a couple weeks since you had been able to make it to a match, since they didn't align with your work schedule, so you agreed and let Grace help you onto the field. She held your hand, and guided you into the tunnel. “I'm so glad you were able to make it today.” She said with a big smile on her face. You squeezed her hand, “It was so good seeing you out there again. You played so well, darling, and you scored a goal!” She pecked your cheek. “All for you, my love.”

In the hallway you hugged and greeted some of her teammates that passed, having small conversations with them before they headed into the locker room. It was nice seeing the girls again, they had become your friends too over time, but your busy work schedule had made it that even on regular, out of football, hangouts you hadn’t really been able to tag along.

“Y/n/n hi! I've missed you, so happy to see you here again. How are you doing? Has work been a bit less stressful?” The ever hyper Charlie was the first out of the locker room. “Hi Charlie, it's so good to see you too! Work has been getting a bit slower again, so I’ve finally been able to get some rest this week. So, I thought I’d come to support my favourite club again” You laugh, the only reason this club was your favourite, was it’s connection to a certain midfielder, and you both knew it. “How about you? Did you visit your family while you were with the Matildas?” The girl talked about her time with her family until Grace made it to your side again. Charlie hugged you goodbye, and yelled “Don't be a stranger!” Your way as she headed out of the building.

“I just need to do some interviews before we can head home, are you okay to stay to the side?” You pull her into your side and kiss the top of her head, “Yeah, you go do your thing, baby. I'll be fine.” She did a couple interviews in the hallway, before she held out her hand to you, and you made your way outside together.

A bunch of fans were lined up outside of the doors. She looked at you to check if you were okay with her interacting with them for a bit, you met her silent question with a smile and a nod. You watched as she had small conversations with the younger kids there, signed jerseys and notebooks, took pictures, and accepted small gifts. 

It warmed your heart seeing how many people looked up to her, and were grateful she had so many wonderful fans supporting her. You watch with a big smile on your face, as she went down the line of fans, making sure that she didn't miss a single one of them, and that she took the time for each one of them.

Once she had interacted with each and every fan waiting, the both of you headed to the car. “Hey love, I admire you so much. The way you took the time to interact with all of them was so incredible.” The most adorable blush creeps up to her cheeks, “I used to be that little girl waiting in line to meet my favourite players. Now I am lucky enough to be in the position where kids look up to me, and I want to give them those experiences that made me want to play football myself, you know?” She really was too good for this world. “Yeah, I know. I love you.” She smiled and pecked your lips softly, “I love you too.” With that she started the car to drive home, where you would spend the rest of the evening cuddled up on the couch.

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

[goatpaste]

Alrighty, this has been something I'v been putting off for awhile because I really just wanted to save all the money myself but I just dont think its gonna be able to happen anytime soon and I'm tired of putting it off for Daisy's sake

but this is officially the Donation Post for us to start pooling together money to move daisy up from Texas to Pennsylvania. I'll bore you with the details under the cut but in the mean time here is links and info on the ways you can support the move!

[My commissions are Open] [My Etsy is Open]

[My Kofi were i offer PWYW commissions as low at 3$]

[My Toyhouse has designs for sale on it]

[You can Donate here and all the saving made toward this will be going directly into savings]

These are all the ways you can directly support us and help us work toward the goal of getting Daisy into a safe and better environment! I know not everyone is going to be able to chip in but anything helps even reblogs and sharing around! We've been talking about this move for over a year and I want to try and move her by the end of this year at the latest.

For more info on our specific situation and bit more details, please read under the cut

Daisy has been my friend since we were 6 years old, she is like a sister to me! We've been at each others side through thick and thin and I care about her so much.

Daisy's home life has never been the best and her parents are nightmare people who are a blight on the general public but as well as Daisy's home life.

Daisy doesnt have the ability to drive, work or save her own money even when she did work as her mother would take the money she earned constantly, and was ultimately the reason Daisy was unable to keep her job.

So for Daisy's end she has no ability to save and moving funds, it will primarily be on me to round up the money.

We are not 100% sure how much we are going to need at this moment in time but have a rough estiment.

Were hoping to get Daisy's mother on a good mood and have her pay for Daisy's plane ticket. We are going to be unable to move all her stuff and will just have to pack as much as she can into a large suitcase and fly up. So we will not have to pay for the plane, but will have to pay for bedding, and everything else she will need once up here. we have some temporary arrangements Via my bed and couch and potentially picking up a blow up mattress. But my current apartment is extremely small and not much room for two people let alone just me. Not sure how long I will be in this space while Daisy is up here if at all.

I may potentially reach out to my step father and ask him to dip into the savings he has kept for me to get Daisy furniture and necessities. But im avoiding that for as much as i can as im not on the best terms with my dad.

I will start looking for a bigger place for us to live together once we start getting in a comfortable area on savings. As the only money maker currently i will be needing savings to afford a place for us to share that will of course be much more expensive than where i am right now. Daisy will start looking for a job once she is/has moved up here and hopefully we will be able to support ourselves at that point, it will just be the first little bit of time we will need a cushion.

this is one of the areas im not 100% sure how much were going to need but certain in the thousands area knowing rent for a place big enough for two individuals.

after that its just gonna be us figuring it out.

but this is the situation as it stands right now, we are trying to help a trans woman out of her shitty living situation and across the country where her friends who love and care and want to support her are. We dont know exactly how much its going to be, but its going to be a lot and were really just looking for a bit of support!

thank yall so much!

[the-catmans-offical-2]

The offical art when it comes to Ed and Wrath are few and far between. However, there's some things I've noticed and would like to share!

Wrath, as a human, would have blue eyes - while this is something we pretty much already knew just by watching eps 28 through 30, if you look at Ed's eye color then you'll realize that they're very close to being inverses of each other!

Also Wrath is cool colors (Blues and greens, blacks and purples) whereas Ed is warm colors (Yellows and reds, whites and oranges). I think that's another contrast or inverse between them to show who they are as characters - with Wrath being a homunculus he is colder colors like the tones of a dead body or just generally not something alive, while Ed has warmer colors like a living human would.

There's more differences between them! Wrath's iris shape is (in the picture and originally) more circular than Ed's - who's is more ovular. Wrath also has slightly larger eyes than Ed, giving him a bit of more childlike appearance though his facial shape keeps him appearing as though he is of similar age to Ed. (I remember reading somewhere once, and please correct me if I am wrong but I personally believe this greatly, that Wrath was made with the goal kept in mind that he'd be an opponent to Ed of similar age and similar in other ways as well.) Wrath also has sharp teeth whilst Ed has dull flat ones - oddly enough Wrath's ears are pointed slightly and Ed's ears are rounded, furthermore giving the visual feel that Wrath isn't human. He must appear rather uncanny to Edward or to any human - same with the homunculi in general - because he looks human but with subtle things that make him... Off.

Wrath is all smilely too, whereas Ed looks more serious or weary; Showing off Wrath's inital innocence (which stays there throughout the series until he was betrayed by Dante and Envy, and I will fight anyone on that) and Ed's lingering distrust for Wrath. Fun fact, in CoS he seems to trust Wrath more even though the two never see each other again. Oh, they're gonna be the end of me. ED FUCKING ACTED LIKE HE KNEW WHAT WRATH WOULD WANT, which leads me to believe they had a talk or just SOMETHING during ep 51 that was cut out.

I have no idea what this image is from so please let me know if anyone knows! I've been curious for a while.

Anyway, Wrath:) He's poking out from behind Ed, and there's more things to point out between them!

Wrath is wearing dark clothes whereas Ed's wearing light ones. Like usual, Wrath's hair is down and messy while Ed's is up and neat. This is the offical art that made me realize that Ed has longer, thinner eyebrows than Wrath - who has thicker ones!

Also Wrath seems to be staring directly at Ed, but I personally can't read his expression as anything? Maybe curiosity? I'm not good with reading facial expressions lmao.

I only added this one bc WRATH LOOKS SO SILLY WHO THE FUCK PUT HIM IN A LIL SUIT??? HOW THE FUCK DID SOMEONE PUT HIM IN A SUIT???

I'm looking for a clearer image for this so I may update this post at some point to put the clearer one there if I find it!

Anyway so Wrath and Edward are standing back to back. They have a slight height difference with Wrath as the shorter of the two (I bet Ed is very happy/j)

Ed's expression is more angry or solem while Wrath's is a grin - but both can be said to look angry I'd think.

They both have a hand on their hip (Ed's in his pocket but Wrath doesn't have pockets, L) and the opposite arm resting more languidly at their side. They're both standing straight, Ed's head is tilted slightly downward while Wrath's is tilted up - no one else is shown standing back to back. Only Wrath any Ed. Al is there, standing beside Ed, but Gluttony is standing with his side to Alphonse, and Lust is more off to the side and facing the others rather than with her back to anyone. I think it is to further show that Ed and Wrath are such parallels (and Lust is standing a little to the side, possibly showing how she isn't really obeying anyone but herself - showing how she betrayed Dante and went to help Ed get Al back in exchange for becoming human again; But we know how that played out..)

I'm not really gonna talk about these here, as one of them is simply a scene redraw, and they're more Izumi focused if you look at them - with Izumi appearing somber while Ed looks weary or even fearful, and Wrath is just.. Being a kid. Running and flipping, and then in the redraw fighting Ed and Al.

The same could be said about these!! They aren't really interacting - in the first image Wrath is asleep at a table with the other homunculi, and in the second he does appear to be staring at Ed; But again Ed isn't focused on him.

Probably some of the ONLY FUCKING COS OFFICAL ART I HAVE FOUND with Wrath in it. Wrath and Ed are facing opposite of each other. No one, other than Wrath in the image, is fully facing at a side profile - which at first I thought represented how he had died, but Alfons is there and so is Eckhart.

Ed looks wistful, not angry but not happy. Sad perhaps, which is what he seems to be a lot in CoS. But Wrath, he looks down right angry. Yelling maybe? His mouth is opened wide and showing his sharp teeth, his visable eyebrow furrowed, he looks dirty and tired. Clearly this is during his fight with Gluttony. I love that they're seperated by the margin, representing the Gate kinda - Armestrian characters on one side, 'our world' characters on the other.

Again, this isn't really Ed and Wrath in particular. But I want you all to really look at Wrath. He's licking his Ed arm. In a similar fashion Dante does to Lyra's arm after possessing her body, and basically asking Hoenhiem to.. Yk, fuck. While I definitely don't think Wrath is doing it out of sexual desire or reason (that is a child, that is a child, that is a child), I do believe he's doing it to mimick or copy Dante. Wrath could've seen that she liked Hoenhiem, which is putting it lightly but for the sake of the sake I'll just say she liked him, and then copied her by licking said limb out of liking Ed or desiring (non-sexually) his body/limbs. To become human.

Also jfc Envy is buff, go back to being a twink you loser.

Uhh I dunno, I just rambled a lil. Maybe I'll make another post with this? Maybe not, but this is what you get for now!! Use my ask box if you have any questions! :)

[zeewritez]

The Sailor and The Samurai - I

Mizu x Femme Shipmate/Pirate Reader

Hi my lovelies! I haven't updated in so long and I'm sorry but college has been kicking my ass. (Why tf am I studying biochemistry - because I hate myself). Anyways, I hope to update my other stories soon (I've had chapters for months now, they just need to be edited lol). So for now, here's a little BES fic because I'm in love with this show :)

(Notes: Reader's father is Irish in the fic but she will not be described physically except for having super long curly hair because I like projecting my hair goals onto stories, also I will be using he/him pronouns for Mizu since they are currently being perceived as a man.)

Part 2 now out

Y/n woke up with a splitting headache from the rum she had the previous night. She made a note to self to not attempt to out drink her father, even if he was pushing 60. Rolling out of her cot, she slipped on a blouse and trousers she had acquired from a crew mate at some point. They barely fit, but it was far better than the dresses and corsets she wore whenever they docked back home.

She walked onto the deck just in time to watch over the vast ocean as they approached the isolated island of Japan. She'd been there many times in her career but had only ever been to the ports to assist with loading goods when the crew needed it. Today, there was no need. Instead, she watched with mild curiosity from the crow's nest as crates were loaded onto The Banshee.

The cargo seemed standard: silks, swords, exotic fish. The things nobles in England dreweld over. Yet the passengers were anything but standard. Y/n could barely believe her eyes when the infamous Abijah Fowler was brought on board with guards on each side of him. He was brought to the detention cell, which would have otherwise been used when her father was tired of a crewmate's drunken antics.

Y/n was so taken aback by Fowler's presence she nearly missed the passenger behind him: a young man, a few years older than y/n herself, clad in Japanese garb and yellow glasses. It seemed odd to her, as it was rather overcast outside but she didn't give it a second thought. What she was truly curious about was why Abijah Fowler was on their vessel.

As the ship took sail, she climbed down from the nest and made her way to the detention cell with a curious, if not mischievous, grin.

"I never thought you'd be joining us for London," she teased as she stood outside of his cel, as though dangling her freedom like a carrot. She did not like Fowler one bit, but she found him almost as amusing as she found him vile. Entertainment was hard to come by at sea, so who could really blame her?

"Well I for one am always happy to see you," he said, grabbing her hand through the bars and kissing her knuckles. She rolled her eyes as she pulled her hand back from him.

"What brings you back to the isle?" she asked. "My father doesn't even enjoy England, and he's still in good standing, legally speaking."

"Perhaps he's a better Irishman then me," Fowler said with a shrug. "What does it matter to you?"

The girl looked up in faux innocence. "Oh, I'm just curious."

"Well, why don't you hunt down the samurai that's on board and he can let you know why I'm going back to London," Fowler finally told her. "You've picked up quite a bit of Japanese, haven't ya?"

"Alright, I'll see you around then," she said as she turned to leave.

"You have your mother's rear!" He shouted out, as though y/n had forgotten why she had disliked the man so much. She said a silent prayer thanking the heavens he wasn't roaming freely as she roamed the ship looking for the mysterious man with glasses, which was simple enough.

He stood on the poop deck, staring out onto the ocean, as anyone who has ever treaded water has. The waters had a way of commanding one's attention.

"Hello good sir," the young woman greeted she climbed the stairs, stopping to curtsey out of habit. She'd managed to have some resemblance of good manners despite being raised at sea by a captain with a drinking habit.

The young man stared at her, which was a common response from many men upon seeing her for the first time, regardless of national origin. In fact, Englishmen seemed most taken aback by her appearance. Her hair was long and unkempt, falling down her back in ringlets instead of being pinned into an updo of a proper lady. Her shirt nearly fell from her shoulders and around her neck was a long, beaded necklace that seemed to trail down between her breasts. Y/n giggled at the man's reaction, having expected nothing less.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he spoke casting his eyes away from her eyes out of embarrassment, then down to her strange necklace, then back up to her eyes.

"Don't worry about it," she said, leaning against the Banshee's railing. "It is lovely to make your acquaintance, may I ask your name?"

"Mizu," he answered, finally less taken aback by the strange woman. "And you are?*

"Y/n," she said, reaching out her hand limply, again out of habit more than anything else. Mizu looked at her with pure confusion, almost fear. Y/n giggled again, this time to hide her embarrassment. "It is expected to kiss a lady's hand where we're going."

Mizu nodded and cautiously took the girl's hand, which was smaller then her own, and cool to the touch from the ocean winds. He kissed it with the gentleness most men she encountered lacked.

"You'll make a proper gentleman," y/n remarked as she retrieved her hand once again and placed it under her head. She scanned Mizu as had her. Admittedly he was rather dashing. So much so she'd forgotten what she was originally there to ask him. Fowler was the last thing on her mind. "What's with the spectacles?" she asked.

"My eyes are unnatural back home," he told her.

"Is that so?" Y/n asked rhetorically. Perhaps without thought for personal space, she leaned forward and took the yellow frames from the man's face. She was greeted with eyes that would put the sea herself to shame. "You needn't wear these anymore, your eyes are beautiful." The young sailor folded the glasses and handed them back to the blue eyed man.

A small smile graced Mizu's face at the first genuine compliment he'd heard in regard to his eyes. He looked over the beautiful yet foreign face of the woman in front of him. The journey to London was certainly something to look forward to now.

[lover-of-skellies]

Rambles about heavy subjects under the cut

So uhhhhhh

I never thought I'd have to make a post like this, because it just feels weird and I'm not sure what to do or how to phrase things, but

My grandpa died yesterday. I wasn't there when my mom received the call from the hospital, I just heard about it from my sister. My sister and I were never really all that close with him because of some issues within the family, and our mom wasn't too close with him for a while either, but she'd made amends with him. She'd go see him, pick him up for holiday dinners and gatherings so he could be with us and be a part of the family again, and then she'd take him home. He was a diabetic, so she'd even taken on reminding him to take his meds and things, whenever he was with us. I can't tell you how many times she went to the little bar where he liked to go sing karaoke every Tuesday night (I believe. I think it was Tuesday, but it could've been another day of the week, too)

Even though my sister and I weren't really ever close with him, he meant practically the world to our mom. She's been talking to some people, since he didn't have a will or anything written up. His passing was sudden and unexpected, so now everyone's scrambling to figure out the details for what to do with him

We don't have a lot of money. Sometimes it's hard scraping by, as is. My mom works at a hospital, my sister started working at a pet store, and I'm fighting with the social security people to try getting disability. I've been denied probably 3 times already, but I'm still trying my hardest to get through to them

The cheapest option for funeral stuff for my grandpa is cremation, but even then, that's $3000. We don't have that kind of money. His girlfriend's pastor chipped in maybe $500, I think, but beyond that, I'm not sure. I feel like I need to do something to help this situation, since my mom absolutely doesn't need this financial issue on her shoulders. She has a lot to worry about already as things currently stand, and I feel bad that I can't do more for her, but. All I can do is this. Making a post, rambling about the situation, and maybe asking if people could consider donating a little to my Ko-Fi

Donations would help a lot tbh, and I think my current donation goal was set to like... $200 - $250, something like that, but. It's a start. There are some things in my shop you can buy, I'm gonna try to add more soon, and I have commissions open, even though I haven't drawn in ages

I feel really icky about doing this and asking for donations, because I know that for a lot of us, money is tight, and I understand that things aren't cheap anymore. $300 used to get you a heaping cart of groceries that'd last a while, but now, it barely covers enough to last 2 weeks

I.... don't really know how to finish this post off, or how to properly close it, so. Again, donations would be greatly appreciated and it'd help a lot, and I'd be so, so grateful for every cent of it. It's not an obligatory thing by any means. You don't HAVE to donate, and if you can't afford to, I completely understand

[thehypnone]

okay this post hurts to make because it always hurts when someone you considered a friend for a little while turns out to be extremely two-faced

@revengeghoulette (her previous account was @sexy-sea-basss) turned out to have been sending anon hate to at least a few people

she has been confronted in a civilized way and told about all the evidence there is against her and she chose not to defend herself

it was hard for me to believe at first because she has never been anything but sweet and kind but while there isn't a direct evidence the anon hate asks in question came from her all the information surrounding the topic is solid enough to make the conclusion. let me just say here that for someone else than her to be sending these asks they would have to have access to her private conversations

do what you will with this information; ignore, unfollow or block her. feel free to reblog so more people see it, especially those that have been victims of anonymous hate on ghost tumblr in the last few months. it may or may not turn out that blocking revenge fixes that problem for some

the reasons I'm making this post and not someone else is because I'm a decently big blog and have a "bigger audience" thanks to that. also because my friends have had enough and deserve to have a break from this entire situation. don't harass me or anyone else about this unless you want to see some of the mentioned evidence. in that case turn to @mac-and-thefox, but only if you can have a civilized conversation. if not just make your judgement about revenge based on this post and let people affected by all of this to breathe. other victims asked not to be revealed. any weird asks I get will be deleted because as mentioned I'm not doing so great about this situation and don't want to drag it out more than it's necessary. mac's stand is the same

the goal of this post is not to create drama; I've been doing my damn best to avoid such things. no, my goal is to...warn people, I guess. inform you and maybe give some a chance of getting rid of some of the hate you've been getting. if you've been following me for a while you should know I will never tolerate anon hate. this isn't my first call out post, either; some of you might remember the last time I put a hater and harasser on blast

those of you who have "known" revenge/luci are probably as surprised as I was by all of this. she has made a goodbye post, looks like the intention was to leave before she was called out

as I said this one really hurts and I have to take some time to process this emotionally because I considered myself to be quite close with rev/luci

see you soon and I'm very sorry to anyone who has been hurt by her in any way. take care

[putschki1969]

Hi Puts, thank you for answering my ask on the reaction from Japanese fans. It's understandable that all of us are left with mixed emotions. I do wonder if you're going to post the link (if you manage to get it) of YKL21? It pains me that Keiko isn't there but a part of me also wants to see how the arrangements are done to accommodate her absence. I want to see if YKL will be able to create those magical harmonies now that their backbone to those sounds is no longer there. I admit to being a little resentful in this regard, and it's probably because I've been listening to her music for years, and have come to admire YK that I truly feel disappointed with her decision. I hope she realises sooner than later how vital Keiko is to the YKL sound and that Keiko is a human and vocalist who has her own sets of aspirations to fulfill. Her desire to be part of YKL does not negate her desire to be part of Kalafina or embark on other goals. Anyway, thank you always Puts and for being patient in answering all the asks~

Hello there!! Before I get to your ask, I'd like to make a general announcement, don't worry, it's not specifically related to you or your message but rather to the entire issue at hand.

A quick heads-up to all of my followers and lurkers:

First of all I'd like to apologise to everyone who has sent an ask on this matter and still hasn't received a reply. I decided to take a break from all of this during the weekend since it was getting mentally draining and I started to seriously neglect some of my real-life responsibilities. Also, if at this point I've not posted a response to your question/message regarding the current situation, then it is likely I never will. Throughout the course of last week, I got way too many repetitive inquiries, I'm sorry to say that I just do not have the time or patience to answer every single one of them. I strongly urge people to just go through my relevant tags (#kalafina reunion, #space craft, #yuki kajiura) and thoroughly inform yourself before you send anything. Trust me, I covered the topic quite extensively and I don't believe you will be left with many (if any) unanswered questions once you have browsed through everything! Then I received a bunch of messages from people who clearly just want to argue with me and I am honestly so tired of them. I've made my stance perfectly clear and I think I have been fair in my assessment. On top of that, I've invested a lot of time clarifying my arguments and discussing the matter in the reply section of my posts. At some point, it's just enough. You don't need to agree with me, it's your prerogative to have a different opinion but there's no point in trying to sway my opinion, you are really just barking up the wrong tree. There are more than enough spaces in this fandom where your thoughts and arguments will be very much appreciated, you do not need to waste your time on my blog. To make a long story short, if you insist on painting Space Craft (and by extension Wakana, Keiko, Hikaru) as the ultimate and sole villain in this shit-show of a situation while simultaneously pretending as if Team Yuki isn't equally at fault for perpetuating all the petty hostilities and stupid rules of this everlasting feud, then I'm sorry to tell you, this is not the right place for you. Over and out.

Re: Anon's Message

Now that all the above stuff is out of the way, I can focus on your message, dear anon. First, let me clarify something. It's 100% okay to be invested in Yuki's activities and to be curious about her future projects. Despite my arguably controversial thoughts on Yuki's role in this feud, I certainly don't want anyone to "cancel" her or to "boycott" her lives in any way. Please continue to love and support her, especially if you've been her loyal fan from the get-go! No one has to ever feel the need to justify their interest in Yuki to me, your devotion is completely valid.

As for me, I stand by what I've always said, I am first and foremost a Kalafina fan, therefore, this blog only covers stuff that is at least somehow related to them. If none of the girls are involved in a project, I am not really motivated to invest my resources into it. People reading my live reports should know that Wakana's absence has already taken away a huge chunk of my enjoyment of YKL, with Keiko gone too now, I just don't see the appeal anymore. Both of them were such an integral part of these live performances, at least for me. There are songs of course that work without them (and those will continue to sound amazing) but I've always enjoyed a majority of music in Yuki's lives BECAUSE of Wakana and Keiko. Their renditions are not the be-all-end-all in this world (often not even the original) but they are the definitive versions engraved in my mind so everything else just doesn't feel right to me.

In short, I will likely not be covering any of the YKL Vol#21 news or provide content related to it. Unless of course there are some surprise changes to the lineup but that's very unlikely. If they end up covering Kalafina songs (Yuki is saying something about having different suites in her lives so the inclusion of a Kalafina-suite is certainly possible), I might consider posting about it but I'll cross that bridge if/when I come to it.

You don't need to worry though, I think there are lots of very passionate YK stans in this fandom who will surely provide everything you are looking for! And it's not like I will be gate-keeping any good sources, if I happen to come across a recording or something, I will definitely let you know. I'll just not go out of my way to invest any money, time or effort into any of it.

Last but not least, I completely agree with your thoughts about Keiko. All we can do is hope that this feud will someday be resolved, otherwise there will always be hostilities and conflicts of interest. As long as there are these two opposing sides and any allegiance to one side will get you shunned from the other side, we'll never know peace.

[toreii]

Mortal Kombat 1: Khaos Reigns Review

Let me just preface this post by saying I’m still on the fence about sharing my thoughts. Like many, I am highly disappointed with the direction this DLC went. I would have never imagined this was in store for me last year during the summer when I first watched the Lin Kuei trailer. Khaos Reigns provoked two days of awful headaches followed by days of disillusion. Yes, NRS played me for a fool (thank god I did not purchase this). I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and it came to bite me in the ass. If I had a physical copy of the game, I’d chuck it in the trash. I’m finding it difficult to proceed forward which is hard because I like to see things through even if it sucks. All I can do is protect my vision of Bi-Han and staying true to the old lore as I try and move on.

That being said, to address my take on this expansion:

To begin, the elephant in the freaking room--Sektor and Cyrax.

I am a Lin Kuei fan overall. Not a big fan of him in general, but there has been appreciation for him and Cyrax throughout the years. When I learned that both were going to be genderbent, I had a little bit of misgivings suddenly changing things drastically. But, again, I gave NRS the benefit of the doubt. Since this is a new era, I was on board with it until the rumors started circulating about both being love interests for the brothers. I was like "That makes no sense whatsoever." To me, the Lin Kuei has always been like a brotherhood. In no given time, has there ever been any indication of personal relationships outside of camaraderie. For example, Cyrax and Smoke being vehemently upset over Bi-Han's death in MK9, and not just Kuai Liang.

The argument can be constantly made that this is a new timeline, and it's Liu Kang's creation over and over. But, when you have that man (Dominic) constantly saying the timelines are canon, but not really. But, still are. It's incredibly hard to take anything seriously right now especially with the constant flip flopping that man does for the sake of the current script. Which is another point, but back to the bastardization of our two Lin Kuei girls.

I wanted to believe in a strong, female Sektor, who has her own ideals which we can all clearly see. Like her past iterations, she lives, breathes, and bleeds Lin Kuei. I wanted to see a Sektor who slowly, but surely descended into her own madness of corruption as she pursued her goals for the Cyber Initiative. Sektor has always been known for his technological genius, and she would be no different. To see her potential constantly get staunched for her adulation and obsession for Bi-Han was hard to witness. I can understand that this may be a flaw for her, but it is a very shitty flaw. Because this one trait absolutely negates everything she stands for. I can see that both she and Bi-Han use each other to a certain extent where it seems fit. I know her horrible romance is the center of focus right now, but if you listen to her intros with Bi-Han, it seems to be all business between them. There is barely any indication that their relationship goes beyond the realm of the clan and into a personal tryst. Sektor calls it love, but it's not quite there. I mean, there's love for the grandmaster, but the love that seems to be implied between the two is not quite there. At least, in my view.

I don't know about Sektor yet, but I already deduced that Bi-Han isn't someone who's desperate to correct anyone on the spot. He doesn't have to. He doesn't owe anyone an explanation, so of course he runs with whatever people say about him. He's unbothered by anyone's opinions of him. When Kuai Liang told Cyrax the truth about Bi-Han letting their father die, Bi-Han could have stepped in at any given moment and contradicted Kuai Liang. Instead, he chose to own every word Kuai said. I've had this feeling since the end of the base campaign that Kuai Liang simply took pieces of what Bi-Han said, and spun them to fit his own narrative. (Killing your father and letting him die because of an accident are two completely different things.)

Anyways, going back to Sektor, that scene where Bi-Han's mind was being restored seems to be the only shoehorned indication that there is more to them than meets the eye. But, again, it was badly placed, badly presented as well. First of all, Sektor really should not have been there in that room at all. From a storytelling perspective, I'm supposed to believe that both Sektor and Bi-Han have this obsessive romance and codependency between each other in a few seconds of frames, than the brotherhood between Bi-Han, Kuai Liang, and Tomas??? And this was my worst fear for Bi-Han too. I did not want him to be "saved" by romance. I wanted his salvation to come from within himself as he reflected on his poor decisions and the tragedy of his downfall which sadly we were robbed and negated from. If the scene only involved Liu Kang, Bi-Han, and Kuai Liang, it would have been more poignant. There has always been that story between the two brothers. I understand, this is not the same Kuai of two timelines ago. But, why is MK: Onslaught's ScorpKuai a lot more wholesome than our MK1 iteration??? He was absolutely horrified meeting MK11 Noob. He couldn't understand why Bi-Han became Noob (and how). But, Kuai's first instinct in the DLC is to be absolutely pissed and disgusted? "Your new attire suits you. It is as black as your heart." Darling, no. I would have been more pleased seeing Kuai approach the table and have this conflicting expression. The hatred can still be there, but the concern and sorrow for whom was once family to him, and his eldest brother needed to be portrayed. I mean, we sort of got it with the whole coffin scene at the end. But, in that scene, in that moment, that more than Bi-Han reaching for Sektor and touching foreheads with her is a lot more powerful in terms of storytelling. I don't know why NRS is so against these two hashing it out and resolving their issues.

Now to Cyrax...oh my god...

According to Kuai Liang in the main story, Cyrax and Sektor were supposed to be absolutely loyal to Bi-Han and would abet his corruption than follow him. We obviously see that in Sektor, but what the hell happened to Cyrax? It leads me to believe that Dominic and others suddenly decided to change the script. Mind you, I firmly believe that they did so. Sektor and Cyrax being women in this game must've been a decision that came after everything was said and done for the base campaign. I'm a bit skeptical on Bi-Han suddenly turning on Cyrax because I do recall some time ago listening to some leaked audio in which Bi-Han says "Kuai Liang was supposed to give Cyrax back." It made me think "Oh shit. Does Cyrax get held hostage or something?" Like, what the hell happened? And, I'm realizing, are we missing dialogue now? There is so much that does not make sense!!! Why would they turn on her all of a sudden?!

She's supposed to be close to Bi-Han just as much as Sektor. And suddenly, Cyrax is presented as a free thinking individual who abides by her own ideals and tradition. The moment that is threatened, she feels like she can no longer follow Bi-Han and his ambitions. To make it worse, she feels so much remorse with Kuai Liang that she's ready to give up her life in penance to make up for it. It just makes no sense. And to make it worse, she spends the rest of the DLC following Kuai Liang like a little puppy ready to serve her new grandmaster. Why was she even presented as a strong individual when all she wants is Kuai Liang's adoration as well? Not to mention, it was a really gross line to include in the intros where Noob threatens to spill her relationship with Kuai Liang to Harumi. We're seriously cheapening these two women to typical high school romance tropes? Like others have expressed, this is fanfiction levels of madness.

Kuai Liang is all levels of messed up too. I am so sick and tired of him prancing around like he does no wrong, and everyone believes every word he says. Suddenly, he's the self appointed grand hero of the story when you have Liu Kang's champions sitting around and twiddling their thumbs? Why not place faith in them and send them with Kuai to resolve the current threat. I understand Kuai's Shirai Ryu is now the new protectors, but you also have these other people and beings who are preparing themselves as well for these upcoming threats. I hate that they just suddenly bled into the background, and disappeared completely. Somebody needs to not only knock Bi-Han but Kuai Liang as well a few pegs down. He too is not without his own flaws and they need to be addressed. And Liu Kang's line "Trust your wife. Avail yourself of her wisdom." The same thing with Sektor and Bi-Han. Here too. This fucking trope cannot be it. Love cannot only be the thing that saves the day. His anger, his vengeance, is no where near the levels of Hanzo. Hanzo legit had a reason to be like that. Kuai is literally throwing a bitch fit at Bi-Han, and pointing fingers anywhere but himself. Seriously, his anger and disgust against Cyrax was so unwarranted. And every time she was flustered and tried to explain, he barely gave her time to say a word. Always cutting her off, and rejecting her apologies until the end because it is implied Harumi stepped in. And he seems to just completely simmer down a bit in the presence of Noob. Where was the you who tried to take him on earlier in Chaosrealm? Suddenly, you don't feel like butting heads with your brother? Kuai Liang is such a hypocrite, and I'm tired of seeing it.

Liu Kang was also another that just got dragged through the mud. A lot of his words and actions did not make sense. He's content with disposing of Titan Shang Sung and Titan Quan Chi, but he won't let Bi-Han finish off Titan Havik because he isn't sure how he's tied to his timeline, and doesn't want to kill innocent lives? What about the timelines tied to the other two? Liu Kang had no problem ending those. Why is Titan Havik's timeline any different? Bi-Han is right. Why does that timeline matter when the most important one is theirs, Liu Kang's timeline? He tells Raiden and Kung Lao to do their best and pray they make it out alive, when Liu Kang could have better prepared them. Gets his ass handed to him, can't even go save Geras himself. Sends Kuai, Cyrax, and Sektor to Chaosrealm in blindly. And, snaps at Bi-Han for the most part towards the end instead of having a meaningful talk with him. Not just simply telling him "This is what you are meant to do. Defend Earthrealm." Well, geez, why not elaborate on that, Liu Kang? Can't you give Bi-Han a few minutes of your time to air out grievances and come to a consensus?

And what the hell happened to Titan Havik? Is he dead? Does he still live? Trapped in the void? The Kamidogu were briefly mentioned, and then dropped. They were hyped to be of importance in this DLC. I'm certain they'll make their return eventually if NRS continues the story involving Onaga when the time comes. But, Havik had plans for them as well. And we only see him fusing with the Kamidogu. That final fight with him felt pretty lackluster. Just a regular match like any other.

We are definitely missing script, and scenes. We were supposed to have gotten a whole lot more. Ed Boon said this was their project for the next few years. I suppose they felt compelled not just to omit certain things, but cut out others for future DLCs. This was setup to be more than what we got. The bar absolutely fell short of what the end product was. To charge full price is absolutely heinous. I'm sorry, but I do not have $50 on hand for each DLC that they plan to release. They charged full price for the main game, and now they plan to do so for every little story line that comes after? I can't in good conscious support this kind of marketing. I'm devastated with the story. Like, I could work and make sense and justify every decision made with the main story to a degree. I can't do the same with Khaos Reigns.

I know I was making gifs of Bi-Han last week, but after KR...my heart right now really isn't in MK1. Every time I come across posts and remotely start thinking about it, I get headaches. They are not as bad as they initially were, but this is how horribly this DLC affects me. It keeps giving me headaches. I know I probably regurgitated the same sentiments and ideas as many others have already. But, a friend told me it would be cathartic to do this. So, instead of my journal, I am here expunging these thoughts and emotions. I don't know what my future with the brand will entail, but godspeed NRS. I wish you well on your future endeavors, and that's really saying a lot on my end. I can't even hope anymore. They massacred my heart and left me to die just like papa Lin Kuei (I wish we had a name for him).

[jessicafangirl]

Building A Mystery

Here it is kids, my Vampire Volkarin fic, chapter 1. Life and the universe kept me from getting this one up sooner than I would like but I hope you enjoy this first glimpse into Mystery and Emmrich's tale. You can also read here on AO3

Let me know what you think kids.

Mystery Ingellvar AKA Rook and Emmrich Volkarin found each other at the end of the world. Together they stopped this from happening along with their team. After defeating the Elven Gods, the heroes of the Veilguard now keep watch from the Lighthouse and fight to keep evil from returning to the realm. During one of these battles Rook is nearly killed and Emmrich realizes that even though he gave up Lichdom to save Manfred he now has left himself nearly powerless to keep the woman he loves safe. Emmrich leaves the Lighthouse and Mystery to find a solution which will change their lives forever.

Okay let's get one thing straight. I LOVE Emmrich. He's everything. Peter Cushing, Vincent Price, Cardinal Copia, and any and all silver foxes I've loved all rolled into one. He deserves all the love.

Anyway, now that I've got that out of the way, my other love is vampires. And to me it makes sense that Emmrich would decide if Lichdom was off the table he'd figure out a way to make this a goal and make it work. Love makes us do funny things.

We may or may not have an appearance of a pale elf some of you may know here or at least be mentioned.

Mystery is the name I figured out for my Rook after I made her. It fits for an orphan left on a pile of skeletons in the realm of the dead don't you think? Myst is in her 40s (so Emmrich is still a little older) but she's just as much of a wallflower who didn't really interact that much with people until she ran into Varric a few years ago. He saw her talents and her knowledge and decided, yeah that'll do. That meeting opened up a world to her she'd only read about in history books and novellas.

Instead of being around people and adventuring around, she had spent her time amongst the dead reading, training. She'd never ran into Emmrich but when she does finally meet him it's like one of those elegant heroes from the books she read all her life had stepped out of the pages for her.

So that's a little background for you. Give me all your angst baby. I'm here for the tasty angst.

______________________________________________________________

Emmrich was gone.

That was what Rook woke up to when she’d come round. Emmrich was gone and no one knew where to. She’d nearly died…again. At least in the Fade she couldn’t die, no matter how hellish it was while trapped there. She’d actually just disappeared and not been almost skewered by a well-placed blade by an undead warrior with really good luck. At least until Taash had roasted his undead flesh off his bones. The blade had just missed her heart.

Rook’s blue eyes were hazy as she came to, everything hurting. Her first word was his name. But Emmrich didn’t answer her. Instead Lucanis came to stand beside her, taking her hand in his gloved one. “Shhh, it’s okay. You need to rest.” His softly accented voice wrapped around her.

Rook didn’t want to rest; she wanted to know where her Necromancer was. But she didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter as the dark was pulling her back down again. She thought she heard Manfred’s familiar hiss as she slipped away, Lucanis telling the skeleton “I know, but we can’t bother her with that now.”

The next time she came round it was to daylight streaming through a window somewhere nearby. She had no idea how long she’d been out, but her dreams had seemed very real. More like memories…but she was seemingly watching it all take place from somewhere other than her body. The fight…that was first….the smell of blood and corrupted dead flesh. There was a scent to the undead who were brought back with dark magic…it wasn’t clean…it was foul. Not even the usual smell of a typical corpse, something Rook was used to thanks to her time in the Mourn Watch and the Necropolis.

No, the corrupted dead were beyond normal rot. It was as if the evil that had beget them permeated everything, even maggots wouldn’t feed from them. If some did, they’d die from the tainted feast, falling off them limp and lifeless.

The battle hadn’t been a long one. The mage who had decided to try their luck at the powerful forces needed didn’t realize just how much they had taken on in their bid to take over the city. It had wound up destroying them…too much infernal magic. The mage had died spectacularly in a ball of their own fire leaving a number of undead to deal with before the city was overwhelmed.

Rook saw in her mind’s eye how elegant Emmrich had been, his hands graceful as the green energy that he had flowing through him shot out and brought a final, merciful end to many of the creatures. He’d call out a “Well done my love.” When she’d take down their foes and she’d shout back when he’d do the same “Dashing and dangerous my dear.” Rook swore she could see the blush on his pale cheeks when she’d done that.

She’d been surprised. That’s what had happened. She’d taken care of the two undead she’d been fighting but a third had been in hiding. The pain had been quick, breathtakingly intense and then more concerningly gone and replaced by a chilling cold that spread through her quickly. Rook felt the blade pulled out from her chest and from far away heard Emmrich’s tortured cry of “Noooooo!”

She’d fallen to her knees and was oddly calm when she looked up at the moving cadavers face, red flames in place of eyes. This was it…I’m so sorry Emmrich….it’s my fault. I’m so sorry. It repeated over and over in her head. But before the creature could deliver a final blow it was ripped away from her in a blast of green. The undead was thrown with such force at a brick wall on the other side of the plaza that it exploded in a shower of gore, blood, and bone.

Rook had seen it and watched in numbed awe and disgust combined. It was impressive but not pleasant to look at. Her eyelids were so heavy then and it hurt to breathe. The blood was staining her shirt under the thin armor and the cold was now stretching from her chest out through her arms and legs. The blood was warm though…it was taking her warmth with it as it steadily left her. “oh….”

The wave of dizziness made her world spin and then Emmrich was there, kneeling beside her, catching her and pulling her into his arms. The scents of lilac and sweet incense met her nose, washing away the scents of decay. “My darling.” She heard his gentle voice, the words that sounded so brittle against her ear trembling. “My love you must hold on…stay with me Rook…you must stay with me.”

“Emmrich…” She heard herself as if far away, “I’m sorry…didn’t see them.” Rook had pressed her cheek against his warm chest, the heat of him radiating through the soft silk of his shirt. He always smelled so good….she’d miss that.

He’d held her so tightly for a moment, she’d heard a choked sob trying to be kept at bay in his long throat. “Shh…I need…I need you to stay awake my Mystery.” He pulled away just enough to start working the clasps of her armor. He had to see the damage; he had to fix this now. The rest of the battle was nearly done, he could hear the clashing of weapons, the sounds of other magic being launched at their foes. Emmrich could hear the distant panting of Lucanis who had followed him as he ran to where they were to keep watch while he tended to her.

She remembered the pull of the armor against her wound, the hiss of pain as the Necromancer pulled it away. His green and gold flecked eyes had widened at the sight. “My love….” He’d whispered the words, as though he didn’t realize they were said out loud. Her shirt was stained red from her blood, the injury deep. He’d immediately started crafting healing magic to stop the damage, the bleeding.

She’d been hurt bad, and Rook knew it, could feel it, could see it in Emmrich’s tortured expression. The familiar tingling, the slight burn of the magic leaking into her skin made her hiss. The fact it hurt this bad was another sign of the severity of the wound. Rook had blacked out then, her eyes too heavy to keep open any longer. The next time she came to some half-wakened state it was to darkness. Things were blurry, her vison unclear. There was a numbness to her body, like a limb when you’ve slept too long on it. The feeling spread out from her chest to her toes and fingers. And seemingly her brain as she couldn’t make out details in the gloom. But then there was a flare of green fire, familiar in the near black of the room.

“Emmrich….” Her voice was unfamiliar to her ears, weak, barely a whisper. Just that word took all her strength…but it was a word worth the sacrifice, worth any sacrifice. And then he was there beside her, the green fire surrounding his fingers like ghostly flames of jade.

When her heavy eyes met his she saw in their depths fear, sorrow, exhaustion but a determination no other could have matched. “I am here my love.” He said, the lilt of his voice reaching her ears like a caress. “You must save your strength. Do not talk dearest.” His hands hovered over her heart, above the wound in her chest. He spoke an incantation of healing, the dialect actually unfamiliar to her…or maybe she was simply too still in shock to recognize it.

The thrum of magic rippled over her skin and through her and with it a feeling that she could only say was Emmrich. In that magic that came from within him she felt his love, his strength and will to mend her wounds, to make her whole again. The scent of lilac and bergamot filled her nostrils. She could almost hear his voice now in her head “I will not lose you my love. I will not let you go. We’ve been through too much for you to leave me now. I’ve only just found you. I cannot lose you. I will not lose you.”

The heat from the magic entering her spread throughout her entire body. It felt like comfort and Mystery could feel it pulling her back down into sleep. The glow of green faded then and she heard Emmrich let out an exhausted sob as he fell to his knees next to the mattress.

No…no Emmrich shouldn’t be crying. Never. She couldn’t bear the thought. Rook reached out her fingers and let them thread into his silver laced hair. “I love you…don’t…cry.” She managed to say even though the words sounded far away to her ears.

At this he raised his head in surprise, his fingers clasping hers tightly, the gold of his rings still warm from the residual magic. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, his mustache tickling her skin. “I…I love you my Mystery.” Rook heard him take a ragged breath as he pressed her fingers against his cheek. Even in her stupor of a state she could feel the stubble of a beard starting to form. Emmrich’s control had returned, Rook could sense it in the way he straightened his back as he placed another kiss to her fingers. “You must rest. Let my magic do its work dearest heart. Do not fight the pull of sleep, let it in and dream of our home.”

Rook didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to stay with him, but she saw a soft glow of green light where their hands were clasped together, and a warm wave of sleepiness started taking over her. “Want…to stay…with you.” Rook said drowsily, her eyelids so heavy.

“You will darling…you will.” She heard Emmrich say from far away. Rook felt something slip onto her ring finger then, still warm from the green fire. “This I vow my love.” Sleep took her then.

She vaguely remembered opening her eyes the next time to a familiar chamber, now no longer shrouded in darkness. There were walls of books surrounding her, beautiful and filling the air with the scents of old paper and leather…the perfume of knowledge she’d named it and Emmrich had smiled so lovely at the phrase one night while they had been researching a ceremony to remove a haunting.

He’d kissed her without a word suddenly after she’d said it. Rook had been happily surprised by the action. “What was that for?” She’d asked him, grinning like a school girl with the biggest crush.

“Because you have a beautiful turn of phrase my dearest…and I could not resist the temptation of the lips that could conjure such lovely prose.” The Necromancer had replied, his ring covered fingers lightly caressing her cheek as he smiled down at her.

She’d shook her head at the thought such a man who could craft such elegant flattery would think she was the one with the knack for phrasing. Emmrich’s voice and his own way with words was one of her weaknesses. With the way the firelight had caught his eyes and glinted in the lovely silver streaking his hair, blazing within the gold of his rings and bracelets she decided she wanted to plunder the treasure that was her necromancer.

He’d noticed the way her eyes had darkened, the blue depths sapphire, her lips turning up in a smile that meant dastardly thoughts had entered her head. “My love…what are you plotting?” He’d asked, cheeks flushing and the question only slightly breathy.

She’d pushed him to the settee, and he’d fallen back against the cushions, still graceful though surprised. Rook remembered draping herself over him and the poor man was trapped. “We…we…really should be exploring…” She’d gotten at least two buttons undone on his shirt at that point and her mouth had found his throat, as did her teeth. The sound he’d made was probably supposed to be a word, but she’d been hard pressed to figure out which one. And she’d had other things on her mind like the rest of the buttons.

A quick intake of air “Exploring….ways…to…” he tried again. Emmrich was a determined sort that was true. But so was Rook. Half the buttons now and she started peppering his chest with kisses, her cheek rubbing against the graying hair that covered the center above his heart. “stop….” He managed to gasp out.

She remembered lifting her gaze to his, seeing his green eyes nearly closed, the color so dark she could barely see where the pupils ended and the green began. Her fingers ran along his side, sliding to his hip. “Did you say you want me to stop?” She’d asked, one brow raised.

He’d had one very short look of panic cross his face. “Don’t…don’t stop.” He’d practically begged. “Never…stop.” He’d then pulled her up to where she was literally sprawled on top of him and held her face in his bejeweled fingers. “Never…” He’d said and then kissed her fully, taking her breath away along with his own.

The memory was sweet. One of a treasure trove that had managed to outweigh the bad she’d collected so many of in her life. The scales were getting more even all thanks to a man who could make the dead speak and her life sing.

But he wasn’t here right now. The room was missing what made it truly special, made it home. She sat up, wincing just slightly at the pull on her injuries and sore muscles. She was healed for the most part. She moved aside the long silken shift that covered her to look down at where the blade had pierced her.

It had been worse than she imagined it or remembered clearly. There was an angry scar marring her pale skin, just to the side of her heart. This was evidence of how close she’d came to dying…the fact Emmrich’s healing magic, something he was powerful in, had not been able to leave her unmarked. How long had she been unconscious? Where was Emmrich?

Brain still hazy from the ordeal and just coming round, Rook pulled her shift back into place and slowly swung her legs off the bed. The sheets, the pillow cases smelled like him. The cologne he wore that held the scents of lilacs and bergamot. There was a hint of incense too. All of this was Emmrich, and it calmed her slowly growing anxiety a bit.

Rook glanced down, feeling something unfamiliar on her left hand. There now was a golden ring, sigils of protection carved into the band with a stunning pale green emerald. In the light the green matched Emmrich’s magic almost perfectly, as though he’d given her a piece of himself that could always be with her. She ran a finger over the stone, tears pricking her eyes.

She went to stand and nearly stumbled, her muscles not used to the motion. Rook grasped hold of the wooden column of the bed nearest her letting out a gasp as there was still pain in her chest. The movement of her arm pulled the still tender muscles and freshly healed flesh.

A familiar hiss from across the room met her ears and Manfred’s skeletal visage appeared quickly following it. The sweet spirit gently took hold of her arm to keep her steady.

“Thank you…Manfred.” Rook managed to say, her throat dry and raspy.

Manfred settled her back on the bed to sit with her feet on the floor. After a few more hisses and gestures, Rook took the hint she was supposed to stay there while Emmrich’s favorite student headed off. He returned a minute or two later followed by Davrin looking relieved and worried in equal measure. It was a strange combination.

“Rook…how are you feeling?” The Warden’s kind eyes studied her.

“Sore…and thirsty.” She looked up at him.

Davrin saw how pale she was. There didn’t seem to be a fever though, just exhaustion showing in her blue gaze. He moved to a table nearby and poured some water into a cup, bringing it over to her. “Drink this slowly. You’ve been out for a while.”

After a few sips she kept hold of the cup, grasping it in her hands tightly to try and keep her fingers from trembling. Her voice she wasn’t so successful with. “How long is a while?”

Davrin glanced away. “On and off for about eight days.” He answered her.

Rook gasped at that. Eight days. She’d been more damaged than she thought. Emmrich had to have been exhausted.

“Where’s Emmrich? Sleeping I hope?” she asked, taking another drink.

Davrin didn’t answer her, and Rook noticed. “Davrin…where’s Emmrich?” Her voice was hushed to her own ears.

The warden turned, his eyes not able to meet hers still. “He left two days ago…when he knew you were going to be okay.”

As if knowing he’d waited to make sure she was alright would make his absence better. Where did he leave to though? “What happened, why did he leave?” Rook’s voice hitched up, a strange feeling running up her spine. Emmrich wouldn’t just leave. He wouldn’t just leave her…at least she didn’t think he would.

Davrin leaned against the bottom left post of the bed, crossing his arms over his chest. “None of us knew he was going until Manfred walked into the main all carrying two letters on a tray like a butler. One was addressed to the team and the other’s for you.”

He pulled an envelope from his tunic’s pocket, one that was familiar to Rook from Emmrich’s desk. They were from his best stationery, the pieces he used for his most important correspondence. Davrin slipped it into her shaking hand.

He quickly glanced away, pursing his lips. “Honestly, I hadn’t seen him in a state like that before. I should have known something was up.”

Rook’s blue eyes stared at the envelope in her hand like it was the most poisonous spider she’d ever seen. She placed the cup of water on the bedside table as though the weight of the envelope needed both hands to keep it in her grasp. “What sort of state Davrin?” she asked him in a hushed whisper.

Davrin was reconsidering being the one to bring her the letter and the news. “The closest I can compare is when you were lost to the fade. He looked haggard. Haunted as though he hadn’t slept since you were brought back here. I know the amount of healing he had to do worked on him but…it was more than that.”

Rook closed her eyes and fought back a sob, her breath hitching. “What did your letter say?”

The warden sighed. “He told us he had to go away for a while and to ensure you were taken care of until his return, Manfred as well. He had a personal quest to follow. He didn’t leave any more details.”

Rook was in shock. He’d left Manfred behind? She felt her face grow visibly paler, her heart beat speeding up in anxiety, a creeping feeling of dread growing up along her spine. Her muscles winced as she felt a tremor pull at her still healing wound.

Davrin didn’t want to leave her alone, but he had a feeling whatever was in the letter would be better read privately. The warden moved away from the post of the bed. “I’ll go check in with Lucanis on getting you something to eat. Manfred won’t leave your side no matter what we tried so we’ve been taking shifts with him.”

She looked up at him, her blue eyes distant. “Thank you Davrin…thank everyone.”

He gave her a nod, placing a large hand on her shoulder with far more gentle care than anyone would expect and then left.

Mystery’s fingers shook as she stared down at the envelope. Delaying this wouldn’t do any good but she couldn’t stop the scenarios in her head. His loss of lichdom had finally come home to him and he couldn’t stand seeing her, the one that had talked him into saving his skeleton of a son instead. He couldn’t deal with how needy she was. He’d realized he could do so much better than she.

The old doubts could come so fast, return so quickly that it made it hard to breathe for a few seconds as they strangled her. Her own parents hadn’t wanted her…why would the most handsome, most magical man she’d ever met still want her around?

As if knowing her thoughts the ring on her finger grew warm. In a trick of the light she thought she saw the stone glowing. He’d not part with something like this if he were tossing her aside, leaving her behind, would he? Mystery ran shaking fingers through her short blonde hair, twirling the single braid nervously around her finger. Emmrich would do the same thing sometimes before they would head into a dangerous situation, his thumb stroking it with a sweet smile “For luck.” He’d say, then press his lips to her hair.

She felt a single tear hit her cheek and she wiped it away taking a shaky breath. “Get it over with Myst, just do it.” She told herself.

The envelope opened easily as she carefully pulled the green wax seal that held the shape of a skull away. The pages were thick, and she held them to her nose for a moment, catching the scent of the lotion he used, the fragrance of lilac and some herbal mixture that would always linger when he touched her. Mystery unfolded the pages and there in Emmrich’s beautiful, precise handwriting was his message to her. She took a deep breath and began reading.

My beloved Mystery,

I’ll be gone by the time you read these words. I would not have left your side if I didn’t know for certain my healing spells worked and you would be well. Nor would I have left you without knowing you’d be in the safest, most trustworthy hands of our friends, our family as they’ve grown to be.

What I’m doing and where I’m going is too dangerous to risk you or Manfred. And while the danger is great the reward shall be a way of ensuring your safety and my ability to keep you safe. To ensure we are together always my darling.

I will never regret choosing Manfred’s return to us over lichdom. Our little family fills my heart with joy and wonder every day. But this latest near loss of you, so close to losing you my beloved, has shown me that I must find a way to keep you safe and to protect you. A way to ensure I am there to fulfill the promise of my vow. My dearest heart, I believe I have found a way to do this and perhaps give me what lichdom could as well in some ways. While you recovered I planned, I worked, and drank more than my share of Lucanis’s strongest coffee. I don’t know if I’ll be able to recover from so much of that brew.

My Mystery, it is the hardest thing I’ve had to do, leaving your side like a thief in the night. But know that I will return to you as soon as I’m able. When I do, I may be changed, and I hope I am. But in your eyes and in my heart know that I’m the same man who loves you more than life itself and whose life truly began when you found him.

Forgive me for leaving you like this, but I know if I had told you I was going I would not have been able to resist if you had asked me to stay. I can deny you nothing my darling, but this separation will be worth it in the end. And I will then be by your side forever more.

Yours always and with love, E.

Mystery reread it three times before it finally hit her that he’d left because of her, just not in the way she had worried about. Now it was a whole other level of fear and sadness that took over her thoughts and guilt. Oh Maker, the guilt that fell over her. Her stupid and careless mistake that had nearly cost her her life had taken away one of her reasons for living.

“Oh Emmrich…” She felt the tears come then in earnest. There was no stopping these. The vagueness of the letter wasn’t helping. What had he gone to do that was so dangerous he wouldn’t allow her and Manfred to go with him? He’d been right, she would have made him stay somehow.

She heard a soft hiss come from behind her and Manfred appeared holding one of Emmrich’s embroidered handkerchiefs. “Rook…ssssad.” He said and she could do nothing but shake her head and take the piece of cloth.

Of course it too smelled like him as she wiped at her eyes. “Yes Manfred, I’m sad.” She managed to say. She needed to pull herself together even if her heart was shattering into a million pieces of worry, guilt, and pain. Manfred needed someone to keep an eye on him, to keep him on his path of studies. She had her other obligations for keeping the realm safe as one of the heroes of the Veil Guard.

Mystery still didn’t know quite how all this happened, how her life had gotten to where it now was. It was so much. All of it. But Emmrich was always there, or at least he had been, to keep her grounded. Emmrich with the sweetest words, the most skilled fingers, and kisses that could melt a slab of iron with the heat they could contain. Her Necromancer was all prim and proper etiquette for the world to see, but when it was just the two of them, particularly during the moon lit hours, another side would emerge.

Emmrich Volkarin had a hunger within him that was directed at her. It wanted to consume her. Those words filled with charm and politeness would disappear as those magical fingers would pull at the buttons keeping her shirt on and her flesh from his touch. That smooth, honey voice would grow lower and would start muttering phrases that would make her cheeks burn even now just remembering it. “My Mystery,” he’d say, “I shall take my time solving you. But tonight I will uncover all I can, taste every part that is you until I have my fill.”

His mouth would find her neck first, his mustache tickling her skin while his tongue ran along her pulse, tasting her as he’d promised. His teeth would suckle then, leaving her gasping as he marked her, the first of many such brands he’d leave all over her.

In the morning she’d ask him to place a glamor on the ones visible just so they weren’t flaunting themselves too much and he’d sigh and grumpily do so. “Not all of them my dear, I feel I’ve earned the right to remain for you to remember.” He’d say after a wave of green magic settled over her skin erasing the little purple marks.

Mystery would shake her head and smile, kissing his chin and giving it a quick nip. “As if I could forget.”

She couldn’t keep thinking about those nights, these memories. She’d just crumple onto the floor and Manfred was right there hovering and making tiny little erratic, nervous noises. Rook gripped the handkerchief tightly and sat up straighter, turning to the gem eyed skeleton. “Manfred, Emmrich has gone on a trip, but that doesn’t mean you are getting out of your lessons.”

Manfred nodded. “Left…with Rook.” He said.

She gave a watery smile. “Yes, he left you with me. So tomorrow we will start on your lessons, okay?”

“OK” The skeleton replied, seemingly feeling better about things.

Rook found it so strange how you could tell when Manfred was smiling when he was literally a skull. But she could at this point. She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Good…I think I need to take a nap for a while, why don’t you go back to reading the tome for tomorrow’s lesson?”

Manfred nodded and headed back to his chair and the book that was still there. Rook watched as he picked it up and started his studying again. Mystery placed the letter on the bedside table and then curled up in the bed only wincing a little at the pain in her chest. That pain was nothing compared to what she now felt but hopefully it would all heal in time.

She only hoped that Emmrich would let her know he was okay or better yet be back sooner than later. Any other outcomes she wouldn’t let take root in her mind or heart.