#I've let it slide for too long that at this point bringing up my concerns would feel really out of left field

[dogshumping]

my nextdoor neighbor has his door open every waking hour of the day and it never feels like I have completely privacy in my own apartment. I can hear every single thing he does in there so you bet your ass he can hear everY single thing I do

[emmcfrxst]

logan howlett x reader

word count: 1.6K

warnings: smut! nasty filthy smut! afab reader who gets called a girl one (1) time because i didn’t know what nickname to use, MINORS DNI YOU WILL BE BLOCKED! i literally dreamt of this specific scenario last night and it was so vivid i decided to write it LMAO as always feedback is welcomed and appreciated <3

Being sent on a mission up north with Logan and as you’re scouting the area around a frozen lake after setting up in an abandoned cabin, the ice shatters underneath you, your body getting quickly engulfed by the icy water.

Logan doesn’t have to think twice before diving after you, retrieving your trembling body from the depths of the lake and bringing you back to the cabin. You’re shivering the whole time, clinging onto him; despite the fact that he also went in the water, his body naturally runs at a higher temperature, which makes him far less cold than you are— and he gently puts you down on a pile of blankets in front of the fireplace before lighting up a fire, turning to you with concern in his eyes.

“Gonna have to get these off of you, bub.” he mumbles hesitantly, gently tugging at your soaked clothing. You nod your consent, lifting your arms to allow him to take off your shirt and bra, hips lifting to aid him in sliding your pants and panties down your legs afterwards. He keeps his eyes on yours out of politeness, clearing his throat awkwardly and letting out a rough sounding “Right.” when you remind him that he should take his off, too. Once you’re both naked, he hesitates again before sitting next to you, offering his palm in invitation.

“It would… Be quicker… If we shared body heat.” he sounds just as awkward as he feels, cringing internally at himself, goosebumps spreading over his skin when you tentatively push on his torso to make him lie down, joining him right after and curling your body against his. Logan takes it as a silent permission to start rubbing up and down your arm and leg from where you’re laid on your side against him, one of your hands coming up to rest on his bare chest. He tries to ignore the way your heartbeat is pounding in his ears, focusing on getting you warm enough to avoid any injuries. The process happens in comfortable silence despite the sexual tension reigning between the two of you, your body finally relaxing when your temperature comes back up to normal. He’s still trying to be polite, only glancing down at your face, body tensing up from the feeling of your bare breasts against his ribs, laid down flat on his back. Noticing his restrained expression, you run your hand down his chest lightly, stopping at his abdomen.

“You saved my life.” your voice is soft, making him turn to meet your fond gaze, heat creeping up the back of his neck.

“It’s nothin’, bub.” he assures you hoarsely, squeezing your arm affectionately.

“You would’ve done the same for me.” you smile at his comment, shaking your head affectionately and running your hand back up his chest.

“That's beside the point.” you protest gently, moving to press the entire length of your body into his side, making his eyes flutter shut and his breath hitch.

“How can I repay you?” you ask, lips slowly trailing down his shoulder, making him tense up again.

“You don’t have to do anything, bub.” he assures, a large, roughened palm coming up to cup the side of your face to make you look at him, concern flashing in his eyes once again.

“I want to. I've wanted to for a long time.” you reply, making him inhale sharply. He looks into your eyes for any sign of hesitation, thumb caressing your cheekbone before he exhales shakily, eyebrows furrowing.

“Are you sure?” he rasps out, finally allowing his desire to show. You nod, kissing his shoulder again, looking up at him with wide, worried eyes when he grasps your chin in his hand.

“I need to hear you say it, pretty thing.” he mumbles, voice serious. You only smile, moving your head to kiss his hand, holding his gaze steadily.

“I am sure. I want you, Logan." The words make him groan low in his chest, eyes searching yours for half a moment before finally giving in and shifting your bodies so you’re laying underneath him.

“Been wanting you for so long.” he confesses, the gravelly tone in his voice making you press your thighs together. The smell of your arousal hits his nose a second later, making his eyes roll back into his head, a moan leaving his lips. He wastes no time to kiss you, groaning softly at the sheer enthusiasm with which you kiss him back, mewling into his mouth. His tongue swipes over your bottom lip, tangling with yours when you part your lips in invitation. Pulling away for air, you gasp softly, arching your back to meet his chest when he grasps one of your thighs and spreads them, sliding between them in one fluid movement. The action causes his hips to fit right against yours, hard cock pressing against the slickness of your cunt. Moaning into each other’s mouths, you start swiveling your hips, causing his cock to nudge your swollen clit. Pulling away again, you feel your walls fluttering around nothing when you notice the trail of spit connecting the two of you— one that Logan has no shame licking away from your chin once it breaks off.

“Fuck, Logan, I need you.” you whine, making his cock throb. Gripping your thigh, he spreads you open even further, nestling his cock between your folds and grinding slowly.

“Gotta prep you first bub, don’t wanna hurt you.” he sounds far away, pupils swallowing the rich brown of his irises, but even then, he still worries about you; a fact that only seems to make you wetter. Despite your arousal, you still gasp out loud when he slides two fingers inside your cunt, your eyes fluttering shut at the delicious stretch his thick fingers provide. His eyes watch you carefully for any sign of discomfort as he starts to stretch you out, your body jolting upwards to meet his when a calloused thumb circles over your clit.

“You look so fuckin’ pretty like this, bub. Gonna take such good care of you.” his voice is lower than you’ve ever heard it before— tone almost dangerous— causing goosebumps to bloom across your skin. Your orgasm is building up quickly, mewls mixing with the loud, slick sound of Logan’s fingers drilling inside of you. Without warning, your thighs tense up and you let out a soft squeal, gushing around him. You can hear his depraved moan even through the deafening beating of your heart in your ears, teary eyes moving up to meet his as he brings his hand up to his face— his palm absolutely fucking soaked. You watch as he licks a stripe up his hand, his eyes rolling back into his head at the taste of you, cock twitching hard from where it’s pressed against your thigh. He inhales deeply, stomach tensing up for a brief moment before he finally regains control of his body, dark, hungry eyes landing on your fucked up form.

“Fuuuck, could come just from that.” his words have you aching again, a desperate tear running down your cheek— one he kisses away, humming lowly. You tangle your fingers in his hair as he starts kissing down your body, heart pounding in anticipation. Getting up on your elbows, you watch as he makes his way between your legs, feeling warmth creep up your neck and down your chest when he breathes you in loudly, groaning in the back of his throat. You try to push his head away timidly but he grasps your wrist with one hand, pinning it down and away from him.

“Let me have my moment. Been dreamin’ of having you like this for fucking ever.” the lust in his voice causes butterflies to erupt in your tummy, still shy from the shamelessness of his desire. Nodding your head, you sit back on your elbows, gently kicking him in retaliation when he gives you a cocky little grin and a hoarse mumble of “That’s it, good girl.”

Your amusement is, however, cut short by Logan burying his face between your thigh and licking a stripe from your hole to your clit, moaning against your cunt at the taste. Crying out loudly, you move again to tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling in encouragement as he practically makes out with your pussy, his eyes closing in ecstasy. He switches from thrusting his tongue inside you to sucking your clit between his lips, making you whine out his name. Through the thick fog of pleasure that overcomes your body, you notice the floorboards creaking under Logan’s weight— he’s driving his hips into the blankets, trying to alleviate some of the tension in his body. The sight makes you gush a second time without warning, your fingers pulling at his hair harshly and nails digging into his scalp as you come on his tongue. The moan he gives you in response makes you clench around nothing, feeling his body tense up and his hips stutter against the blanket before he relaxes, face still shoved into the meat of your leg. Oh.

“Did you just—“ you cut yourself off suddenly, feeling a delicious twist in your gut at the thought of Logan coming untouched simply from eating you out. Your lover picks his head back up with a dazed look in his eye, beard glistening with your slick. He’s still hard.

“Yeah. But I’m not done with you yet.” the promise in his voice makes you tremble, warmth coursing through your body— the mission could wait.

[hellaarknight]

Weak

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Genre: angst. Warnings: swearing

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

" You're not going to participate in the battle Y/N and this is final."

Kisuke raised his voice slightly. Even though in the original plan you were included, he couldn't allow himself to continue with it.

" Kisuke, what the fuck? This is not what we agreed on! How do you expect to face it without me? You're literally putting everyone's lives at risk just because I've got some injuries."

Urahara could feel the frustration growing in your voice. The last thing he wanted now was to fight with you on the issue, but for the first time in a long while he was scared for your safety. If his intuition was on point, as usual, and Aizen was plotting to use you in any way in the upcoming fight, he just couldn't risk it.

" Things have changed. Your little banter with Aizen made me change the plan. My decision will not waiver."

For once Urahara wanted to subdue your fiery attitude, he hoped you'd understand that he's too afraid for your safety. He usually does have concerns, but now that you're injured, you are weak. Or at least too weak to be able to help Ichigo and company. And the mere possibility of you becoming a paw in Aizen's plan scared him.

"Oh my gosh, you can't be serious! Just because of a few stitches I now have you can't decide to put me on standby. I'm not the young frail and weak girl I once was and you know that better than anyone."

Kisuke took a look at your right arm stitches. The sight alone straightened his decision, he could not let you head into battle like this. He had to protect you, even if that meant to hurt your feelings and pride.

" Please... Don't push it further. Just this once, I'm asking you to stay out of it just this once." His tone changed from demanding to almost begging.

" No Kisuke, because you're not giving me any reasonable argument for me to stay out and endanger everyone else."

" You're weak and for starters you'd be the one keeping us back by making everyone and especially me worry about you!"

There it was, out of his mouth, the words he promised he would never say to you ever again. "Weak". "A burden". Kisuke didn't want to meet your eyes, he couldn't. He didn't want to see the damage his words have done. The room was silent, the atmosphere shifting from tension to nothing. Kisuke got up, in a mere attempt to come and hug you, a way to do some damage control. He got to take one step and suddenly he was pushed on his knees by an immense spiritual power. With great effort, he raised his head from the ground to see your enraged expression and your extended hand with which you controlled your reiatsu to apply the pressure only on him, one of your special abilities as a shinigami.

"I AM WEAK???"

Feelings of betrayal, rage, sadness, disappointment, Kisuke could feel them all in your voice. He could not speak nor breath, the spiritual pressure you exude was beyond everything he imagined you were capable of.

" Urahara answear my damned question! I AM WEAK?"

He tried to open his mouth but only a choking sound came out. It felt like his bones were crushing and he was suffocating. Fascinating, you trained so much to be able to weaponize your own spiritual power to apply it only in certain points inside his body. His eyes widened when the stitches of your arm ripped off and blood started running down your arm. The door of the room slides open with Ichigo, Rukya and Yoruichi barging in slightly alarmed. The sight was one of a kind.

" Sensei what happened? We felt a sudden raise in Y/n's reiatsu and...

You left down your arm restraining the release of power back to normal. Urahara fell face down, coughing hard as he tried to bring inside his lungs some oxygen.

" What's happ..." Rukya's voice got interrupted by yours.

"Fine, Kisuke Urahara! Have it your way. I'm out! I'm out of this mission! But since I'm so damned weak and you consider that you have to babysit me on the battlefield I'm out for good! I'm out of y'all's fucking lives!"

Urahara watched you turn on your feet and walk out. A very confused Ichigo helped him get up. A few seconds later there was no trace of your spiritual power. You had concealed yourself.

" What happened?"

" I think I just made a terrible mistake" Was the only thing Urahara Kisuke could say.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

[pulisicsgirl]

not going anywhere - christian pulisic

summary: after Christian (and several others) notice how Y/N hasn't been herself for the last few weeks, he finally decides to confront her about how she's feeling

pairing: Christian Pulisic x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings/tags: established relationship, angst, discussions of mental health and illness, mentions of meds, supportive Christian, hastily proofread

requested: no

notes: Hey there!! This has been sitting in my draft for probably 6 months and I wanted to put something out, so I tried to finish it and make it at least decent for y'all! I promise I'm trying to work on your requests and I have several halfway written, but I've just been struggling in the writing department all summer. Thanks for being patient with me! If this fic is a steaming pile of garbage... pretend you didn't read it

x

It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Christian that you hadn’t been yourself lately.

Your relationship was fairly new, having only been together for a few months, but as attentive as Christian was, he recognized the little things that had shifted in your personality.

He noticed how when you smiled at someone, it never quite reached your eyes—the little wrinkles that usually appeared in the corners were absent. He noticed how when you laughed, as soon as you thought no one was looking, the grin on your face quickly faded, replaced by the absent and distant look that adorned your face so often recently.

He noticed that you would zone out far more often than usual, eyes unfocused as you stared at a distant point. When he caught you in this state, Christian would tangle his fingers with yours or gently place his hand on your thigh, drumming his fingers in an attempt to pull you back from wherever it was that you would drift off to.

He was concerned, to say the very least, but each time he tried to bring it up to you, you dismissed his concern with a wave of your hand, chalking it up to being tired or overworked.

It didn’t take long for others to notice the change, too. As a prominent member of the media department at Chelsea, you had a friendly relationship with many of the players. You were often on the training pitch or on the sidelines at games, snapping photos of the boys as they played. Often, you would mess around with them, cracking jokes and laughing along with them, but not recently.

The joking had been cut to a bare minimum, and you rarely interacted with them at all. You spent just enough time on the training fields to get the content you needed before leaving to work in your office, unseen for the rest of the day. Several of the boys had asked Christian about you. They missed you. But Christian didn’t know what to tell them.

Finally, Christian decided enough was enough. He would have to “corner” you in some way and get you to talk to him. He had wanted to let you have your space and respect your desire to not talk about the matter, but he could see the whole situation physically weighing on you, and he knew that if he continued to let you bottle it up inside, you were going to explode. He resolved that by the end of the day, he’d talk to you.

That night, you had come over so that the two of you could have dinner together. Most of the dinner was spent in silence, you lost in your own thoughts, and Christian trying to work up the nerve to ask what he needed to. He wasn’t sure how to approach this kind of conversation with you—the two of you hadn’t dealt with a situation like this yet in your relationship.

Once your plates were cleared, you stood in his kitchen, washing the dishes, despite Christian’s protest that he could do it later that night. He sat on the counter, wanting to still be in close proximity with you. His heart broke a little when he noticed that you weren’t humming like you always did when you cleaned.

You rinsed off the last dish, placing it on the drying rack with the others, and you were rinsing the leftover suds from the sink when you felt Christian’s arms slide around your waist. He pressed his chest to your back and rested his chin on your shoulder as you turned the sink off, drying your hands on a towel.

“Can we talk?” He spoke softly and placed a kiss onto your shoulder.

You felt your heart sink in your chest. You knew this conversation was coming, but you were hoping to postpone it as long as you possibly could. “Yeah, what’s up?” you tried to speak casually, downplaying the nervous feeling that had settled in your stomach.

“C’mere,” he whispered. You dropped the towel on the counter next to the sink as Christian pulled you to the side where he had been sitting before and turned you around in his arms. He placed his hand on your hips, lifting you to sit on the countertop.

For a moment, the two of you remained in silence. Christian stood between your legs, unsure of what to say first. He rested his hands on your thighs, rubbing the bare skin below your shorts soothingly. Your heart pounded so quickly in your chest that you swore he could hear it as he stood in front of you. You desperately tried to calm yourself, still determined to play things off if you could manage it.

“So… um, you… you haven’t really been yourself lately,” he stumbled over his words and mentally cursed himself for starting so poorly. “I just… I’ve noticed a lot of little things that seem different, and you don’t really seem… happy.” He glanced up at your face, trying to gauge your response. He felt a little guilty for being so direct with the situation, but he didn’t want to keep dancing around the problem.

You drew in a breath, but Christian spoke again before you could. “And please don’t tell me that you’ve been tired, because you keep saying that, but I think it goes beyond that.” The nervousness you felt only intensified, and now you felt slightly nauseous, knowing there was no easy way out of this conversation.

You brought one of your hands up to your mouth, biting at the skin by your nails. Christian recognized the nervous habit of yours and he saw how you used it to try to put space between you and him as a form of defense. He reached up and took your hand in his. With a gentle but firm tug, he pulled your hand back into your lap and looked at your face with earnest concern.

You hesitated a moment longer, looking anywhere but at his face.  Sitting in front of him, your hands held in his, resting on your thighs, you had never felt so vulnerable and exposed. He stroked his thumb over your knuckles, squeezing your fingers in an attempt to pull you out of your thoughts and back to him.

The silence between the two of you was long and overwhelming as your head spun with wild thoughts. Did you continue trying to put a wall between you and tell him nothing was actually wrong? Or did you open up to him, tell him what was really happening, and run the risk of scaring him off?

“Come on, I can practically see you getting lost in there.” He poked your forehead gently with his free hand, laughing softly to try to relieve some of the tension in the air.

You glanced up at Christian’s face, and his gentle, reassuring smile brought tears to your eyes instantly. Looking back down at your lap so he couldn’t see you beginning to cry, you settled on trying your best to explain the thoughts that had been swimming around in your mind for the last couple of weeks.

“I don’t know, Christian, I just… kinda get this way sometimes.” You shrugged your shoulders. It didn’t make sense to most people, but it was the reality. “Nothing really happened. Everything is fine. You didn’t do anything. I just… I feel kinda hollow.”

Christian was relieved to hear that your pain hadn’t been cause by something he had done, having toyed with the idea as he wracked his brain for the last weeks, trying to think of what could have gone wrong to make you feel this way. But he still wasn’t sure he understood exactly what you were saying.

“I used to take meds for it, but I stopped taking them a little while after I graduated high school. They made me feel like I wasn’t really myself, and I didn’t want that anymore.” Your still fidgeted nervously as you opened up to him, but at the same time, the weight on your shoulders felt the tiniest bit lighter as you let Christian bear some of it with you.

Christian remained silent for a moment after you stopped talking, processing the things you had just told him He thought he was beginning to understand what you were saying, though your vague description left several questions swirling in his mind. He was happy, though, that you finally felt comfortable opening up to him, and he figured the finer details could wait until another day.

His silence, however, did nothing to calm your racing heart.

“So, I guess this is the part where you leave?” you whispered before you could even think about it, uneasy with how quiet the room had gotten. Your eyes were glued to your lap, and Christian’s hands froze at your words, where they had been smoothing over your knuckles, trying to soothe you.

“W-what?” he stuttered in surprise, heart sinking at the thought that you might be breaking up with him. When you finally looked up to his face, his eyes were wide, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He looked so hurt that you almost felt bad for saying it in the first place.

You took your hands from his as you began to pull away from him, picking at the edges of your fingernails, fixing your gaze downward again. “I’ve done this before, Christian,” you mumbled. “I get weird, you ask about it, and then once you find out that I can’t be fixed… you leave.” You sigh, having resigned yourself to the outcome that had played out in your life before. You sat there, feeling defeated, with your shoulders slumped.

A sniffle coming from him causes you to dart your eyes up to his face, and his eyes are misty as he fights back the tears that he can feel welling up in them.

“You really think that?” his voice quivers.

All you can muster is shrugging your shoulders. “That’s what everyone else did. I’m not worth the trouble.”

Your words shatter his heart into a million pieces. The pain of thinking you were ending your relationship vanished quickly, replaced with a new kind of pain at the realization of how you had been treated in your past.

As the first tears slipped down his cheeks, Christian pulled you into a tight hug, holing you as close to his body as he could muster as he buried his face in your neck. You felt the warm tears against your skin as you slowly returned the hug, caught off-guard by his actions.

Christian felt a bit silly. Here he was, crying on your shoulder after the things that you had just revealed to him, experiences that you’d had in your own life. He just couldn’t fathom that anyone could possibly treat you in such a way. You were the kindest, most gentle and caring woman he had ever known, and he truly believed that you deserved the world. Sure, it had been hard to see you in the state you had been in for the last few weeks, but he knew what he was feeling was nothing compared to what you were. And it never would have even occurred to him to think of you as burdensome—to think that he needed to “fix” you in some way.

Christian drew back from the embrace, quickly wiping his eyes while he still held onto your waist with the other. You were caught a bit off-guard by his behavior, never having experienced this reaction before, and you weren’t entirely sure what it meant.

Christian breathed a soft “I’m sorry” before he looked back up at you, cradling your jaw in one of his hands, and you couldn’t help but lean into his comforting touch.

“Y/N, you are absolutely worth everything. It’s not a burden to be with you. You know that right?”

Tears quickly sprung to your own eyes at his words, and you cast your eyes back down to your lap. In an honest answer, you shook your head ‘no’. This was how you had always thought of yourself, and you constantly felt like you needed to be compensating your partner in some way for the things they had to put up with for your sake.

Christian’s other hand came to your cheek, holding your face gently so that you would look him in the eye.

“You’re not a burden Y/N,” he spoke softly, his eyes flicking over your face. His expression held a sort of desperation—aching to show you that he truly believed what he was saying. “You’re not, I promise. And I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life telling you that until you believe it. I’m not going anywhere.”

Your heart fluttered at his words.

‘…every day for the rest of my life…’

He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you?

Marriage wasn’t something the two of you had really talked about yet, because your relationship was so new. But any time you thought about your future, you knew you wanted Christian to be in it. And knowing he felt the same way meant the world.

You felt Christian’s thumb brush across your cheek, wiping away the tear that had fallen. You could only stare at him, wondering to yourself how you had managed to find someone as perfect as him.

“I’ll always be here for you. Anything you need,” he smiled at you, feeling that he was finally getting through to you.

The only response you could muster was a soft, “okay.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded.

The relief Christian felt that he finally had some understanding of why you hadn’t been yourself over the last few weeks was nearly overwhelming. He pulled you toward him, pressing a firm kiss onto your forehead.

“I love you so much, Y/N. Never doubt that.”

tag list: @landoslover @thoseboysinblue @lovelynikol16 @swimmingismywholelife @masonsrem @bracedes @neverinadream @lizzypotter14 @notsoattractivearenti @chilwellspulisic

[bellarkeex]

Depraved Thing [Jude x Cardan]

Cardan left Jude high and not dry all day, now he's paying for it.

☾ warnings: sex, oral sex [male & female receiving], marking, cardans a bottom, his tail makes an appearance, 18+

☾ read on ao3:  here

☾ length: 1,016 

☾ i couldn’t sleep so this happened :) 

We barely manage to make it down the corridor keeping our hands to ourselves, almost giving every worker in the palace a show. Not that they could object. Cardan wouldn't either. I would just rather not.  

The door to our chambers is hardly even closed before Cardans lips are on mine, my breath quickly becoming ragged as I blindly pull his clothes from his body. I would feel bad for our guards, knowing they can most definitely hear us, if my only concern wasn't my husband in this moment.  

His swollen lips trail down my jaw to settle on my neck, leaving evidence of his love in his wake. Gripping one of my hands into the soft curls of his hair, the other into his bare back - I strain to hear the desperate whispers leaving Cardans mouth.  

"Jude." He sighs against the forming bruise on my collarbone, discarding my dress to the floor.  

Sinking to his knees before me, he continues to trail wet kisses across my breasts, hips, thighs. His mouth is everywhere except where I need it most. I look to where he's bowed before me as I attempt to stop slightly irritated moans escaping me, to see him savouring a devilish grin.  

He knows exactly what he's doing.  

I glare down at him as he meets my gaze, dark eyes watching me for a moment, before bringing his mouth between my thighs. Relaxing against the door, his tail coming to wrap around my ankle, furred tip brushing at my calf. Gasps escape my mouth as he slides a long finger into me, then another, tongue working at my nerves.  

My skin burns with pleasure under his manipulation, losing more and more control as he continues his veneration.  

"Cardan, I-." Breath betrays me as I shake against him and go to grasp the door, trying to keep myself upright, despite Cardan holding me steady.  

"I know." He mouths against my inner thigh, still grinning to himself. "I know."  

Yes. Yes, he does. All day, sneaking up behind me to whisper filthy things in my ear just to see me redden. Or his touch that's gone too soon because of conveniently timed council business, business he's never bothered himself with before, leaving me hot and bothered.  

He returns to stand before me, lifting me so I can wrap my legs around his waist, slick leaking slightly onto his stomach. He holds my head in the crook of his neck, stealing the opportunity I kiss and bite my way from his pulse point to his pointed ear, while he carries me to our bed.  

Cardan lowers me onto the embroidered covers, crawling to hover above me. He shouldn't be surprised, but a moment of shock flashes in his eyes as he ends up under me instead - being straddled at the hips.  

"It was a very heinous thing, what you did today." I whisper against his mouth, refusing to kiss him.  

"I have no idea which thing you could possibly be referring to, my wife," He feigns innocence, "I've done many heinous things today."  

"Oh really?"  

Before I let myself think twice, my fingertips lightly dust along his tail which has come to settle around my waist, keeping me close. A shiver runs through my king below me, breath catching in his throat as I graze the sensitive skin. Gold rims of his eyes disappearing, gaze consuming every inch of me that is bared above him.  

"You don't have any idea? None at all?" A small laugh escapes me, as I fail to choke down the surge of power that overcomes me.  

I move my other hand to gently scratch down his chest, before inching my way down his body - savouring every piece of flesh I can get my teeth on. I settle around his knees and reach for him.  

Littering kisses to his swollen tip, I gaze up to see him open mouthed, breathless, and as beautiful as ever. In attempt to weave his hands in my hair, I take hold of his wrist pinning it to the bed.  

Hollowing my cheeks around him, beneath me Cardans legs begin to shake and in turn I'm reminded about the faint shake of my own. His hands gripping the sheets, because I haven't let him hold onto me. He looks so pretty being bathed in the moonlight, fighting his own pleasure not to finish. Just when I feel him begin to twitch in my mouth, I come up for air.  

"But, Jude-." he manages breathlessly. I only smirk down at him as I climb my way back up his body.  

I release his hands which instinctively come to rest on my waist, I don't push them away. Honestly, I missed his touch even though my skin is alight under his. My hands pass over his chest and arms, mock soothingly, where chills have settled on his skin.  

"Jude." He says my name like a prayer, over and over again, divinity on his lips. "Jude. Jude, please."  

Pleading with me to give him release. The way he looks at me his cheeks flushed; I cannot deny him.  

Gasps leave both our mouths as I slide him inside of me, stretching around him. Cardans eyes are heavy, as though he's fighting to keep them open against the pleasure, intent on watching me as I tip my head back and cling onto him.  

Desperate sounds leave his mouth that he tries to silence between soft kisses. As he's pulling me more tightly against him, shocks of pleasure shoot down my spine to my core and I dip my forehead to rest against his.  

We're both a shaking mess when we finish, neither of us wanting to let go of the other. So when Cardan pulls me onto his side keeping me in his arms, I let him.  

"I am sorry I left you earlier." He whispers into my hair, which he's wrapping around his fingers. "But for this outcome I'd torture you again."  

"Oh, I know." I reply dazed, tracing shapeless lines into his chest. "You depraved thing." 

[blackwolfstabs]

If you're ever low on ideas and comfortable with it, I've had this idea which means a lot to me that I'd love see you put into your own words one day.

Basically, some time after Scream VI, Chad and Tara try to work themselves up to doing the deed (no outright smut or explicit stuff though pretty please, not the point here), and Tara totally freaks out when she can't bring herself to take off her clothes and show all her scars to another person. While I wouldn't expect Chad to really care about his, I'd always thought this would be an issue for Tara considering how much she wants to feel normal after everything that happened to her. As someone who still has visual reminders of a prior major surgery, I can speak from experience that feeling like you're less beautiful or desirable because of that is a really terrible thought. I can totally picture Tara feeling all the nervous butterflies about the sacred occasion of losing her virginity only to realize the scars from her snapped leg and all the stabby stabbies, everything she's trying to forget, are never going away. Feel free to experiment with how they'd react to and handle this situation, it was just a fleeting idea, but I think it could be something really sweet.

P.S.: You're like the only writer I know of that appreciates Chara and I just wanted to thank you for that because I adore them sooo much lol, they don't get enough love.

aww it's all my pleasure, dear anon. i hope i do your idea justice! 🫡

here you go:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IF YOU LOVE HER

Drawing stars around Tara's scars.

fandom: Scream pairing: Tara Carpenter × Chad Meeks-Martin characters: Tara Carpenter & Chad Meeks-Martin a/n: i love this idea sm and i actually got really into it so my apologies if i went too deep or made it too long. you've got good taste, my friend :)

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“Are you sure?” Chad whispered, his forehead locked with Tara’s as they blinked into each other’s chocolate eyes.

Tara nodded, not breaking her eye-contact, even though she was trembling. She loved Chad, she did, and if anyone was going to take her virginity, she wanted it to be him. It’d be safe with him, for she was sure he loved her just the same. They had been through so much together. She couldn’t ask for a better partner. “Yeah,” she breathed, “I want to…”

In the privacy of his half-lit bedroom, he nodded and removed his shirt, letting her take the lead as she gently pushed him down onto his bed. She climbed on top of him, her legs straddling him to lean down and capture his lips. 

Tara melted into her boyfriend quickly, pulled in by the serene essence of the night and his love. She felt his hand slide over the small of her back and move towards her hip, while she trailed her fingers down his right pec to his rib cage. Her fingertips curled into his ribs as his own slipped beneath the band of her pants. 

They parted, but Chad kept his digits beneath the hem. He eased them a little farther to have the tips meet her underwear. She shuddered with a small gasp, instinctively dropping her pelvis as if to stop him from going any further. His face must’ve changed a little to show some concern, because she quickly looked away.

“I-I’m sorry…” She grew shy as she hesitated on where to look. 

“Is that too far?” he quizzed, retreating his hand a little bit.

“No, it’s fine, I just…”

“Would you rather do it?” He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear to catch a better glimpse of her face.

She took a deep breath, before gathering up the courage to look him in the eyes again. “No. I trust you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He nodded. “Okay…” He turned his face to the side to kiss the arm she still had bordering his head. She then resumed her former position again, and he decided to take a different approach. “We’ll do this first.” He moved his hand away from her bottoms and eased her shirt up, until he met her bra-line.

Carpenter braced herself against the fresh air that corralled the newly exposed skin of her torso. She knew the build-up to giving her virginity away was supposed to be nerve-wracking and anxiety-inducing, but she knew that the intensity she felt growing in the pit of her stomach was of a different essence. However, she had to keep herself together. This was the hard part. After everything was off and out of the way, there was no going-back and hopefully, she would be immersed into a world of love and not rejection. That’s how sex went, right? It was captivating and a rather surreal experience? Guess she was going to find out. But she had to stay strong to get there, so she ducked her face into the crook of Chad’s neck to try and compose herself.

Her boyfriend breathed in her warm scent, leaning his head against hers as he wrapped his arm around the bare portion of her back with one arm and used the other to tug her pants down a little bit. He heard her give a small whimper, to which he kissed her shoulder. “There’s nothing to be scared of, Tara,” he assured her, “I got you.” 

She felt his nose brush her ear lobe as he said this, his breath tickling her neck. As safe as she felt in his arms, she couldn’t manage to make any words and instead, just nudged his jawline in a nod. She was wearing high-waisted pants that were steadily pulled to a mid-rise and then a low-rise as Chad edged them further down her hips. 

Her heart skipped a beat, jumping into a race that made her nearly start to panic. His other arm brushed her spine, forearm pressing through her bra to leave his fingers closing around her ribs. She shut her eyes tightly and pressed her lips to his neck, forcing herself to focus on softly suckling his skin to fight herself from changing her mind.

Below her, Meeks-Martin heard a shuddering breath that mimicked her figure. He knew she was anxious about this, especially with how protective her older sister was and how inhumanely her body had been handled before. That was why he let her be on top for her first time. Both of her Ghostface attacks—which had left her with trauma she still re-lived—ended with her pinned beneath her attacker. He was well aware of what having her take the submissive position might do. The hand that held her ribcage slid down the curve of her flank, finding new territory that hadn’t been explored from the coverage of her pants.

His girlfriend accidentally traded her lips for her teeth, biting down on his sternocleidomastoid muscle. It was a fearful kind of nip, so it wasn’t necessarily painful, but it had caused him to pull one hand away from her hips and caress the side of her head.

“Easy, babe… Just breathe. I won’t hurt you…”

She swallowed uneasily, wanting to say something to assure him but also defend herself at the same time. She didn’t know what to do. However, when his fingers found the scars hidden on her lower abdomen and his arm pressed into the ones littering her lower back, she couldn’t take it. Every hurtful thought she could hold against her self-worth felt like a knife stabbing through her survivor’s tattoos again to emphasize the damage they did. Tears filled her eyes, and she didn’t even think twice as she pulled away. “I can’t!”

Chad sat up when she got off of him, finding her tugging her clothing back to their proper wear and hearing her breath hitch as she bowed her head in shame. 

Tara’s chest went extremely tight as she broke down, eyes burning and butterflies swarming her stomach at the anxiety that cursed her yet again. But this time was different. She hated doing this to Chad, because he didn’t deserve it. “I–I’m sorry, Chad…”

“For what?” He moved to sit beside her. “What is it?”

More tears fell, seeming to grow thicker the longer she stared at her legs, which were clenched together. She felt his hand rub small circles on her back, but that just made her grow even more tense. Her initial reply was replaced with a sob that had her whole body jolting.

“Hey, hey, hey…” His concern grew, once she broke down completely, a few whimpers coming through her sobs as she covered her face with one hand and hugged her torso with the other. He got down on the floor to kneel in front of her, reaching up to brush her hair back. “It’s okay, Tara, it’s alright—”

“I ca-han’t do it, Chad!” she cut him off, only able to compose herself enough to get the shortest explanation she could out. “I-hit’s so uh-hugly!”

He paused his combing. “What’s ugly?”

Carpenter cringed inward on herself, clutching the flank of her shirt so tight that her knuckles turned white. She pulled her knees up to hug them with her other arm, hiding her face in the small space between her thighs and torso. “M-my scars…” She spit it out around her accumulating congestion.

Chad’s eyes immediately fell to the arm that curled around her legs, how her hand reached to the side that he couldn’t see. It was the hand that had that long scar gifted from self-defense against Ghostface—her first attack. What a reminder… What a memory…

What a tragedy…

The exact one that had him view her like she was the strongest person in the world, even though she was the smallest of the family they’ve made. She was the strongest. She had survived being stabbed 7 times, a broken ankle, blood-loss, surgery, a 2nd attack, facing-off with her attacker, suffering heartbreak, and spent another period in the hospital, which she had grown to hate… But after every single fallout, she picked herself back up and kept moving forward. 

Tara Carpenter was the living proof and definition of a survivor.

And Chad Meeks-Martin was in love with her. 

She wasn’t second-best or his chosen one, due to their share of trauma. He started falling from the first day they met all those years ago, when they were too young and naive to understand what love was, what pain was, what trauma was, and all of the things that divided them. Tara’s home-life started to go downhill around the same time he was getting serious into football, so he wasn’t around her much anymore. Being a jock came with many things that kept him present in his future yet absent in his past. And sadly, Tara was one of those things—those precious things that he had unknowingly been driven away from. Liv came along, and they hit it off for a while, but when Tara was attacked, it all changed.

He didn’t care if she had scars. He didn’t care if she was too scared to let him in. He didn’t care if she pushed him away and screamed at him to leave. He’d wait on her forever. He didn’t see her scars, when he looked at her. He saw his angel—the one he swore he’d never see living, in-person, and in his reach. Yet, she was. And had she not endured it all, he might have never gotten that privilege.

As she continued to cry, Chad spoke to her softly and sincerely. “No, they’re not. Tara, there’s nothing ugly about you—”

However, she denied him. “Yes, they– Chad, I’m hideous…” 

She was convinced. Her scars were curses, hidden beneath her clothes to fool anyone that might actually want her. Anyone who might desire her. But she wasn’t desirable. One look at the marks giving her stomach, back, and legs an abstract design and anyone with a decent taste would turn away. She was destroyed, wasted, used, and corrupted. How could she be beautiful? How could she move on when every time she changed clothes, or took a shower, or wore anything but high-waisted jeans or pants reminded her of how defenseless, weak, and exposed she was? How alone she was… and that loneliness created a masterpiece that only the artist could admire. It must be hidden from the rest of the world or else it would leave others feeling sick and appalled.

Because she wasn’t supposed to be a piece of art. She was supposed to be dead.

Who could ever love her intimately when she was literally a human pincushion?

Chad could. And he did.

“Tara,” his voice was a little stronger this time. He slipped his hand onto her thigh and encouraged her to lower her legs. “Tara…” Luckily, she did lower her legs, but both arms held herself tightly and she hesitated to look up. “Hey…” 

Tara sniffled and wiped her nose, before raising her eyes enough to look at him. And of all things… he smiled at her.

“Stop, that isn’t true,” he told her. His eyes shimmered in the low lighting. “I’ve never met someone more beautiful than you. Your scars aren’t ugly. They don’t change who you are. I promise you, one day, you’re gonna look at every single one of those scars as a reminder of how strong you are.” Her soulful eyes just blinked at him, glossy as more tears slid down her cheeks. He wiped them away. “You’re so strong, babe.” 

In that moment, she swallowed, staring at him as she recalled those traumatic memories. The phone calls, the teases, the taunts, the stabbing, the crawling, the begging, the screaming… Those things didn’t make her feel strong at all. They were demeaning and humiliating. “I don’t feel strong… I’m not fearless, like Sam. I’m not smart, like Mindy. I’m not reliable, like you…”

On the other hand, all her boyfriend could think about was her smile, her sharp-tongue, and her gorgeous eyes. The way she moved and how she handled everything that came her way. The way she loved him and how healing her existence was to him every day. She was the reason he fought, held on, and kept going. When he had sacrificed himself for her at the kill theater, taking a thousand stabs, while looking at her the whole time, telling her to “go”... he did that because he couldn’t live without her, and because he couldn’t live without her, he held on until he was found by paramedics and was united with her again. Everything she was saying about what she wasn’t couldn’t be more wrong. “You’re a survivor, Tara. You’re Tara Carpenter, and you’re not like other people. You’ve got a will that’s so strong, you’ve managed to look death in the eyes and win… multiple times. And those scars are proof of it.” She was unparalleled to anyone else in this world. “You are you. There’s 7 billion people in this world, and you’re the perfect one for me. What are the odds of that?”

Tara bit her lip. She wanted to believe him. Truly, she did. But she hated all that her body had become, especially when it had to be exposed in situations like these. They weren’t mental scars that time would heal, they were scars that would be there forever. She would never be able to escape what had happened to her, no matter how long she lived or how much she may try to cover them up. 

“I love you, Tara.”

Her breath hitched as she sniffled. “I love you too, Chad…” Her next words were barely audible, when they came out. “Thank you…”

Chad just smiled at her. Even with her bloodshot eyes and runny nose, she was flawless. He reached out and took her left hand. His thumb brushed over the long scar tainting the top of it. 

She didn’t dare look down, the soft touch making her lips quiver again as more tears threatened to fall.

But then he brought it up to his lips and trailed a line of gentle kisses along the length of the scar, covering the pain it caused her with loving stitches.

Tara watched him do this, then glanced up to his face when he lifted it and guided her hand to rest against his cheek. “Chad…”

“You are so beautiful,” he simply replied. And to his surprise, he received the smallest smile from her, even through her tears. Then, he dropped his eyes to where her right arm guarded her torso. He squeezed her hand a little, “Can I see them?”

She froze, her anxiety climbing again. Her brow twitched, fighting herself to stay where she was and not pull away from him again. He deserved this. He deserved this. 

If he loved her…

He did love her. There wasn’t a single doubt in her mind. So, she exhaled a shaky breath and nodded, slowly removing her right arm and retreating her left to uncover the sacred tattoos that made her a palette of a million colors, some not even of this world. She held her breath as she tugged the hem of her shirt up with one hand, then pulled her pants down with the other to expose her stomach.

There were two big scars, one just below her left rib cage and the other beneath her navel on the right side. Chad moved to be directly in front of her and was actually allowed to come closer when she opened her legs for him to kneel between them. His hands were soft as he placed them on her warm sides. He felt her shudder, telling him she was still hesitant about revealing her permanent demons. But instead of trying to talk her down again, he bowed his head and pressed his lips against the first scar. Just like he had done with her hand, he moved along its length, stitching up her hurt with his affection.

Tara stiffened at first, her muscles tensing at the feeling of this kind of attention, but then she let go of the breath she was holding back. His lips moved from the left side of her ribs to duck beneath her arm and give the scars he could reach on her back the same treatment. She let him do it. Her head stayed bowed, and she gripped the hem of her shirt, holding it steady against her frame to force herself into this uncomfortable position she knew she could trust. However, she couldn’t stop the tears that continued to fall or the whimpers that slipped out when his kiss would trigger another bad thought.

But her boyfriend never failed to calm her butterflies even if it was only for a moment. As he drew back, he slid his right hand around her back to rub it and continued to do so when he began to kiss the other mark on her lower belly. She breathed in, and he could feel her skin press into his lips. 

She was starting to calm down. She was starting to trust him.

Then, he took his left hand and traced his fingers down her flank to meet the hem of her pants. He pulled one side off her hip.

Panic. Her heartbeat picked up, leading her to slightly squeeze her legs around him. “N-no, Chad—”

Chad blinked up at her. He didn’t move any further. “I won’t do much. Just wanna see…”

Tara hesitated. She felt her formerly injured leg twinge at the way she had it positioned. Then, she relaxed and helped him tug her pants off all the way. Bare against the air conditioning, it was only instinctive that she wanted to pull her legs up to her chest, however his hand eased up her ankle, along her calf, over her knee, and up her thigh. Her eyes never left his, but she dropped her shirt to rest her wrists over his shoulders, rubbing her fingertips against his thoracic vertebrae.

He ran his hand back down, caressing right at her ankle, where it had been snapped by a devil’s wish. 

How that scream had ripped her throat… It was so painful… Tara swore it had been so guttural that, had she not passed out, she would’ve spit up blood on the way to the hospital.

Chad held it in his hand, rubbing it with gentle squeezes in between. And as he gazed at her, he saw her lips start to upturn. Then, her leg flinched, trying to pull away from his hold. He knew why, and it made him smile back at her, relieved that she was no longer anxious and fearful of being exposed to him. “Do you trust me?” he asked this as he glided his hand back up her leg to rest on her hip, bringing himself closer to her.

Carpenter nodded instantly, though her voice was still soft. “Yeah…” She blinked as he wiped stray tears from her cheeks.

Then they joined at the lips, taking a moment to melt into each other’s comfort. But it wasn’t too long, for the congestion that blocked Tara’s airways from crying cut it short. 

Chad grazed his knuckles along Tara’s jawline, watching her eyes close at the touch. “I think you should get some rest for tonight, okay?” 

Her eyelids parted and slowly raised. 

“We can try again tomorrow.”

She nodded with a small sigh. 

Tomorrow was another day…

Another day she’d survive.

───────────────────────────

p.s. i'm sorry this took a while, anon.. i hope you're still around! ♡

- parker (BWS)

[beevean]

No worries about tangent-ing! I think you raise good points; I didn't think much of it when issue 8 came out, but with other people on Tumblr pointing out the oddness of a canon character from the 'main' medium (the games) extensively gushing about a newly-introduced one in a new medium (the comics), I've increasingly found myself also considering it a ploy to hype up Whisper more than anything else. At the very least, it paints quite the negative picture of Silver, or at least greatly undoes how powerful he is supposed to be. But then again, he seems like the type of person who would absolutely destroy himself to help others (like at the end of 06 where he tries to seal Iblis into his soul), so with some suspension of disbelief I could imagine that in the Forces!war he got in over his head and got into life-threatening scrapes and had to get helped out there. (On the other hand, iirc Sonic plus the Avatar easily broke one of those massive grey Death Egg robots or whatever they're called with a spindash through the face, sooooo... But then again, in that game little got done without Sonic for six whole months anyway. I personally enjoy Forces, but that aspect of the Resistance imo definitely is odd.) Still, I think it is strange that Silver's fanboying is getting dragged up again after it should have gotten resolved at the end of the MV saga. He had his fight with Whisper at his side, they succeeded (twice, if you count the Metal Sonic stuff early on and MV afterwards), he's gotten to know her as a person who is just as fallible and flawed as anyone else, so why does the comic insist that he still has this amazingly high view of her after it has not gotten brought up since like... issue 8 and a VERY minor mention in issue 26? It doesn't come out of nowhere, but to me it feels displaced.

Furthermore, now that I think about it, Sonic's snarky reply about Whisper being Whisper's name when Silver actually whispers during her true introduction ("No, genius. Whisper is her name.") absolutely is him being a dick! That has always bothered me. As well as that whole "Couldn't even play along, had to bring the mood down." part. Maybe some concern about the world you are living getting imminently ruined, Sonic? Hmm...

I guess sorry for my long tangents in your askbox too, but I actually find it quite interesting to think about it all and analyse it in such a way!

Yeah, it gives an odd impression. I know that calling comic-exclusive characters "OCs" is controversial :P but it really feels like that. It's a lot of telling and hyping up a character that belongs to a "lesser" canon by using a character that belongs to the "main" canon.

(also, friendly reminder that Flynn back in the day explained his decision to create Tangle by putting down all canonical female Sonic characters. That's also not a good move.)

It feels like they don't know what to do with Silver and they've also ran out of characters to use, so they're bringing back one trait they had established about him to create Conflict. To be cynical, they may be not putting in much effort to be more creative since the comic is in severe danger of being cancelled :P

Boy, I re-read those few pages of #8 to put them in the post, and geez Sonic is just so unlikeable. "My over-eager friend here is Silver" dude, c'mon! Imagine if your "friend" introduced you like this to someone you admired! This is not like Sonic calling Knuckles a knucklehead after being tricked and losing them two Emeralds, it's just making fun of a guy for being awkward, I refuse to believe that Sonic would be so insensitive! Man, if I think of all the things we let slide from early IDW because of the hype... :\

(Team Sonic Racing, which came out a year after #8, had a similar chemistry between Sonic and Silver, but it came off as more endearing, and also more befitting the context because it was during a race so Sonic was expecting some trash talk lol)

[teenagedirt]

kissing in cars (2)

Vic x female reader

Chapter 2- feelings

I watch her as she sets down her bag and steps out of her shoes "Hey vic?" She asks looking at me as she walks into our kitchen. "Yeah?"I call out from the couch "do u want a snack, you didn't eat at the Cafe" she asks and I smile to myself. I love how concerned she us about me,how she thinks about me all the time. "Nah,I'm good" I reply. I hear he laugh, I love her laugh I always have. She is so insecure about it but honestly it's one of my favorite things about her. Apart from her eyes. The way she looks at me makes me melt,the way her y/e/c (your eye color) eyes sparkle always makes me smile, even when I'm at my lowest. I snap out of my thoughts when she sits next to me with two personal sized goldfish bags. "You need to eat sir, and I don't want to hear that I'm okay shit" she says playfully shoving the goldfish in my hands. I laugh quietly. "Thank you darling" I see her. blush. I am so in love with her but I feel like she doesn't feel the sam about me. "hey,Vic can we talk" she asks bringing her legs to her chest. I take a deep breath and turn to face her. "Yeah of course, what's up" I ask, hoping that she hasn't suddenly has found someone for her and doesn't want me to call her darling anymore. "I, uh have a question. And when I ask it I need you to promise me you will not question why I ask until you answer it." She swallow hard and her eyes are clouded with tears. "I promise, I could never do that,you mean everything to me. You've been here for me since highschool,you've helped me through the hardest breakups,I doubt a question will break our bond" I grab her hand. A tear slides down her face. "Why do you call me darling? It's killing me Vic" she says as she breathes heavily and she starts to cry Gcold icy tears. "I don't know,it just feels right" I reply staring into her eyes. I squeeze her hand so she's knows I won't leave her, I will never leave her side I love her too much for that. "Vic" she whispers as she starts to sob. I pull her into a tight hug while rubbing her back softly. "Shhhh baby it'll be okay" I whisper,burying my face into her neck. Her breathing slows and she pulls away from me. "I am so madly in love with you" she pauses "you mean so much to me, Vic, please tell me you feel the same, please don't tell me I've just made a fool of myself infront of the man I'm so in love with." She chokes out before closing her eyes and letting her tears leak out slowly. "Darling, I love you too but I'm not sure if I'm ready, I'm so in love with you but I'm so worried I'll disappoint you, my love please don't be upset with me" I say before breaking into tears myself. "I could never be upset with you" she says cuddling up to me. I sit there trying to process what just happened. When I hear light snoring. I look down and see she has now fallen asleep. I smile to myself. I try to shimmy out from beneath her but she grabs my shirt and mumbles stay. So I then close my own eyes and hold her close and drift into sleep. *time skip* "HEY GUYS" Tony yells waking me,and making y/n stir in her sleep a bit. I rub my eyes. I give Tony a tired smile, then I point to y/n to signal not to yell anymore. "Shit sorry dude" he says running his hand through his hair. "It's fine" I say back. Y/n wakes up and smiles at me. "Hi" she says before snuggling back into me. Tony mouths to me that he will leave us alone, then leaves the apartment. The only thing I could think about was y/n and how she said she was so in love with me. If only I didn't feel the way I do about myself. I know deep down I will not disappoint her but, it's a fear I've had for a very long time.

[dingbatnix]

Venture

Chapter 1

Soooo, welcome to my brainchild! The most I've ever written for a singular story, yee. It's like fifty pages so far, and it lags my computer down so bad.

Anyway, I'm nowhere near finished with the whole story, I just have this and maybe the next chapter done (which I'll maybe post soon) so don't expect to see the full story anytime soon.

Also! This is a g/t story, buut this is just the first chapter, and it's just Dream for it. Soo yeah. I'm done. Enjoy!

Chapter 2

Dream + Tommy reference

Word Count: 1,600 (exactly that! Isn't that cool?)

Warnings: Violence, death, blood, fighting, ect. (it sounds much worse than it really is, I promise.) ((Probably))

“There he is!” 

The shout pulled Dream’s attention from the half-skinned rabbit in front of him, and he whirled around, just in time, to parry the downstroke of a sword with his hunting knife. The sword’s edge scraped along the short blade with a piercing shriek, making the assassin's ears ring. Dream twisted, shoving the sword to the side and sending his sudden assailant pitching forward with a startled cry. He sprang back, swapping his knife to his left hand and drawing his own sword with his right as four more people crashed through the dense forest foliage. 

They had on light leather armor, and were grinning like the cat that had caught the canary. Two were equipped with shields, while the other two were only armed with long swords. One of the shield-men cackled viciously, tucking away a wildly spinning compass. Ah. They were hunters, then.

Dream stepped back another pace, warily raising his sword as the first man got his feet under him. The rest of them spread out, covering his sides.

One of the swordsmen muttered something to the compass-bearer, who’s grin wavered as his eyes danced up and down Dream’s obscenely tall form. He seemed to shiver before squaring his shoulders and stepping forward, shield raised and ready.

“They said the guy we were after was a borderline monster, but I didn’t think they meant it literally.” He pulled out a small short sword with a clumsy flourish, squeezing the hilt so tightly his knuckles went white. Dream’s eyes narrowed, ignoring the jab as he observed the similarly tense forms of the others. Five inexperienced hunters? Is that how much of a concern he was? He frowned. He’d have to fix that later. It wouldn’t do to have people start thinking he was getting complacent.

Dream widened his stance, relaxing his shoulders as the compass-bearer took another step closer. “They said we could bring him in dead or alive, boys, so let’s bring them a corpse!” With that, he lunged towards Dream, shield slung low and sword pointed rigidly forward. 

Dream calmly stepped to the side of the quavering sword tip, then back into the man’s path, and brought his hunting knife in close. The man’s eyes widened, and he brought his shield up, too late, as Dream sunk his dagger into the unprotected flesh under his jaw. He gurgled wetly, bright blood bubbling from his gaping lips. Dream immediately dismissed him, yanking the knife free and whirling around to slash open the underarm of the man behind him. The swordsman, in the middle of performing an overhand strike, yelped and dropped his sword to clutch at his wound. Dream gave him no time to recover, instead using his momentum to thrust his sword through the man’s throat. He crumpled with a watery croak, his weight suddenly too much for his fawning legs. Dream let the body slide itself off of his blade and swiveled around to face the remaining three hunters.

The two swordsmen and single shieldsman paled significantly, shrinking back from the harsh gaze of his blood-spattered mask. Dream took a step forward, sword held out at an offensive angle and knife guarding readily in front of his chest.

One of the swordsmen drew closer to the shieldsman and whispered something into his ear. The second swordsman nodded fervently, eyeballing Dream’s overbearing form. 

With a shaky nod, the shield-bearer took a deep, shuddery breath, then brandished his shield. The two swordsmen fell behind him as he advanced, blades bared sharply at Dream.

The assassin scoffed quietly and skipped forward, ducking under the two uncoordinated lunges of the swordsmen, into the space of the shield-bearer. His pupils pinpricked at the sudden invasion of his personal space, and he yanked his shield up to protect his face. Dream smoothly twisted around another sword swipe and launched himself against the man’s shield with a powerful kick, sending him tumbling back into the man behind him. They crashed to the ground with vicious curses, leaving their third companion to face Dream alone.

The man faltered, glancing uncertainly at his two downed partners. Dream took advantage of his distraction, lunging at him and burying his sword deeply into the thin leather protecting his stomach. The man let out a strangled yell, hands flying to the edges of the bloodstained blade. With a quiet huff, Dream yanked the blade free as he sank to his knees, inadvertently slicing open both of the man's palms.

A loud clatter from the right was all the warning Dream had before he was slammed into by a shield and knocked off of his feet. He landed harshly as the weight of the man wielding the shield crushed down on his body. He writhed as the shieldsman cried out triumphantly, calling to his remaining companion to help him finish Dream off. Dream wheezed painfully, jerking at his sword. No use. His sword arm was pinned across his stomach, squashed between the shield and his body.

Oh, wait. Dream blinked as the last swordsman stepped up near his head, weapon bared. He still had his knife! Dream twisted to the right, using his legs to help lift the heavy weight of the shieldsman and shield just a little. His right shoulder screamed at the awkward position, as well as his left hip, but, he managed to pry his left arm from where it had been pinched underneath his body. 

Dream grinned with renewed confidence as the swordsman raised his blade above Dream’s head. Ignoring the slight ache from the angle, he whipped his arm around the edge of the shield and solidly buried the razor-sharp blade into armored flesh. 

The shieldsman howled, instinctively flinching to the right, away from the thing that had hurt him. Dream used the opportunity, shoving up at the now lighter side of the shield. A glinting flash caught his eye, and he yanked his head back a split-second before the blade of a sword plunged into the mulchy ground. 

Quickly, he wriggled his way out from under the shield and rolled to the side as an armored boot slammed into the ground where he just was. The swordsman cursed, awkwardly tugging his sword from the forest floor while Dream got his feet under him, gingerly rolling his right shoulder with a grimace. 

Dream shot a quick glance at the shieldsman. The man was sprawled halfway off of his shield, wheezing wetly as one of his lungs slowly collapsed. His hunting knife still protruded from his ribs, and thick, sticky blood dribbled from his mouth. Dream dismissed him. The man was obviously out of commission.

He turned his attention back to the remaining swordsman, raising his gore-spattered sword to point it at his chest. The man quailed, the blood draining from his face as he realized he stood alone. He stumbled back one step, then another, before his resolve shattered. He turned tail and ran, leaving Dream to stand alone in the bloodstained field.

Dream scowled, watching the leaves swish back into place. Of course he’d ditch the fight. Nobody ever stuck around long enough for Dream to have a proper battle with. But, he supposed, he really shouldn’t be surprised at this point. 

With a small sigh, he turned and marched over to the shieldsman, leaning down to retrieve his weapon. One harsh yank, and then his knife was free from the side of the still-choking man, who gurgled out a pained yelp. Dream frowned, watching him struggle to draw breath, then decided to take pity. With a quick slash of his knife, the man wheezed his last, then lay still. It would be unnecessarily cruel to leave him to drown in his own blood.

Dream wiped the blood from both of his blades on the deadman’s clothes and stood, sliding the knife into the sheath strapped to his right thigh and dropping his sword into the scabbard at his left hip. He glanced around for a moment before his eyes alit on the other shieldsman. He stalked over to the body and shoved at it with a booted foot, rolling it onto its back, then dropped to one knee and started rifling through it's pockets.

There was nothing particularly interesting, until his hand ghosted over a circular lump. With a triumphant hum, he dug the compass out from the pocket of the corpse and glared at the spinning dial. He never could figure out how the hell people managed to enchant these things to find him when he was halfway across the kingdom…Shrugging, he smashed the glass face against a protruding rock. He supposed it didn’t matter. None of the people who came after him could ever match his skill.

He dropped the shattered crumble of scrap, shaking a few shards of glass from his gloved palm, and propped his hand on his knee to push himself to a stand. With a sigh, he scanned over the carnage, ignoring the bodies, until his eyes passed over the rabbit he had been skinning earlier. He moved over to the small animal, casually hopping over the splayed bodies of the hunters, then paused when he got a better look at the carcass.

Dream scowled, glaring down at his half-skinned rabbit. Clumps of blood-soaked dirt clung to the exposed flesh, while a small army of ants had evidently claimed the carcass as their own.

He'd have to go hunt for something else, now.

…

Or he could find where the hunters' camp was, and take their stuff.

Dream smirked, immediately in better spirits, and span around, moving to shove through the forest foliage.

[thelaundrybitch]

Little Blue Hearts Update - Chapter 24

Hello, My Turtle Doves!

I'm SUPER sorry about the late update. Life has been crazy.

Today you get a NEW point of view...

WHAT?!

I'm really excited about this chapter. More bombs being dropped 😂😘

Without further ado... Little Blue Hearts.

18+ content - for mature audiences only!

Reblogs only, please!

Little Blue Hearts cover art by the lovely @leosgirl82

All My Fault

~Ashley~

I hurry down the hallway to my and Mike's bedroom. I put Liv's love package on the bed. I’m wicked excited to show Mike what’s actually in the box, but right now I have bigger problems to address. 

I pop my Keds off, so I won’t make any noise. I hurry back out of the bedroom and head down the hall where the three guys are...

I slide to a stop in my socks and run back to Raph's door. I'm hoping he's an unnecessary reinforcement, but I'm getting him anyway.

I tap on his door quietly, praying he's still up.

His door opens after a second and he looks down at me, concern etched on his face. 

"Hey, everything ok?" He asks, as I hurriedly put my hand up to his mouth to shoosh him.

"I think I may have caused a problem between Don and Leo," I whisper quickly.

Raph's face drops. "What happened?" He asks, crossing his arms.

"No time to talk, I need you to come with me, I don't know if there's gonna be an all-out brawl," I whisper, grabbing his gargantuan arm.

He says nothing else and follows me quietly back through the common room. I go to sneak into the garage to stand by Mike but Raphael grabs my arm and gives me a tug. I turn to him looking confused but he nods to the hallway that leads to Leo's and Master Splinter's rooms. I follow him without further question. He stops for a second by Master Splinter's room and grabs something from underneath the small potted plant that sits on a shelf next to the elderly rat’s door, and then takes me the rest of the way to the end of said hallway. He takes whatever is in his hand and sticks it into a small hole in the stone wall, causing an unseen door to pop open. He reaches back and grabs my hand and pulls me into the darkness with him, closing the door behind him with a quick yank.

"Where are we?" I ask softly.

Raphael produces a tiny flashlight and grabs my hand again pulling me down, what I can now see, is a tunnel of sorts.

"It's the escape route," he says in his normal voice, jogging lightly so I can keep up. "Me and my brothers needed to make sure we could get Dad out quickly and quietly from anywhere in the lair. There are hidden doors everywhere with the little keys hidden nearby," he continues, turning left with me still in tow. "I'm surprised Mikey didn't show you, honestly. It'll bring us right out to the garage."

"Wow," I say, trying hard to sound impressed but I'm too worried about the upset I've caused.

"Quick recap. What happened." It was a statement and not a question.

"I let Leo see Liv," I say, fearing his reaction.

He chuckles.

Well, that is not what I was expecting.

"You couldn't help yourself, could you?" He asks, smiling at me.

"I promised Leo. And Donnie was being unreasonable!" I say, defending myself.

"Yea he was," Raph agrees, surprising me. "But he has his reasons, and it's a long story. We'll talk about it later though. Right now, let's make sure Romeo and Prince Charming don't kill each other before they even get to meet the lady in question," he says, looking at me and rolling his eyes. "Jesus, these two," he finishes, as we reach the end of the tunnel. 

Quietly he uses the 'key' to pop the door open, and I find myself stepping out on the outer side of the laundry room, in the garage. He pulls me forward next to him and puts his finger to his lips. We are hiding behind the laundry room wall, behind Leo.

"Did you have a nice night, Leo?" Donnie asks.

We see Leo nod as Donnie slowly walks up to him.

Lowering his voice a couple of octaves, Donnie says, "I thought we agreed that I was in charge of this operation," he says. 

I lean forward a bit more so I can hear them better, but Raph grabs the back of my shirt and leans in toward my ear, "Not too close. Donnie will see you," he whispers.

I nod, standing back a bit, but still peeking around the edge of the wall.

"We are supposed to be leading this team together, Leo," says Donnie, his voice laced with irritation. "You were the one who came to me and asked me to help you lead - because you were overwhelmed - And I totally get it! I don't blame you, at all. You've done a lot for us over the years. And, honestly, I don't think any of us could've handled the stress as well as you had for so long," he says, his voice lowering even more. 

My eyes are so wide, I'm pretty sure they are gonna pop out of my face at this new information. Why didn't I know about this?

"Out of everyone, I probably appreciate you the most. I understand that kind of pressure. Being the one everyone looks to for answers. The one, that if one wrong decision is made, or if the wrong information is conveyed, can be the cause of complete catastrophe for the team. Lives included." 

Leo looks down, sighing, sounding defeated and guilty.

"How would you feel if I went behind your back and disobeyed your wishes?" Donnie says, now sounding sad. "If you don't respect and trust me as the co-leader of this team, how do you expect the others to?"

"I'm sorry, Donnie," Leo breathes out. "I have no excuse. I knew, and I should've never disobeyed your orders."

"It's not his fault," I hear Mike say, from the entry to the common room.

Donnie turns towards Mike's voice and Leo looks up as my boyfriend walks toward them, guilt flooding his features.

"Leo didn't know. He was invited over to Ashley's tonight, not knowing why he was wanted there," says Mike, looking directly at Donnie.

"Mikey, don't..." Leo starts.

"Leo, you don't always have to take the fall," says Mike.

"Great. So you both disobeyed my wishes," says Donnie, sounding pissed, throwing his hands in the air.

"No, they didn't," I say, stepping forward from my hiding spot.

"Jesus, is everyone here?" Says Donnie.

Raph steps out behind me, arms crossed, looking like his blood is boiling.

Donnie swallows hard and Leo's eyes go wide.

"We'll discuss this 'co-leader' thing later," says Raph, looking like someone just pissed in his Wheaties.

"Go ahead, Ashley," he says, encouraging me to continue.

I sigh. "It was all my idea," I say.  "You were being unbelievably unfair about what I could and couldn't share about my own cousin, Donnie."

"Yea, well, there's security..."

"Shut up and listen, Donatello," snaps Raph stepping forward.

Donnie closes his mouth and nods, clearly intimidated by his older brother.

Raph nods at me to continue.

"You know, not telling everyone about Liv's personal information was my wishes. Not yours," I say with a huff. "I understand there are security risks, but not coming from your own brothers! They are the ones you should trust the most! The security risk was Liv! Not your brother seeing a damn picture of her!" I exclaim, Donnie, looking down at the floor.

"I promised Leo he could see her. And you were turning me into a liar, making me feel like I was playing the blame game. And that will NEVER be ok with me," I tell him. "So, I invited him over for pizza and drinks. And by chance, Liv had sent me a box that I needed to open with her on live chat. And he got a chance to see her in real time, instead of just a picture," I state.

I look around the room at all the guys, waiting for some kind of response, but everyone is just kind of standing there dumbstruck.

So, I continue, "so, if you're going to lay blame on anyone, it's me. I will take the blame. It's all my fault. I am the only one responsible for all of this... Mess," I say, motioning my arms around to all of them.

Master Splinter's voice comes from behind the weight room, directly across from the Laundry room, "Actually, aside from Ashley, you are all at fault."

Little Blue Hearts Master list HERE

@leosgirl82 @turtle-babe83 @drowninghell @chicchanmooshy @roxosupreme @mysticboombox @nittleboo @post-apocalyptic-daydream @xanadu-702 @xanadu702 @pheradream15 @mistyroselove @ashleighclark98 @jurikyu-blog @sewerninno @tmntspidergirl @raphielover @zombiesnips-blog @raphslovemuffin80

*If you aren’t on this list, please let me know if you want me to tag you in my other work or if you prefer me to not tag you 😘

[oneofthosesimps]

Martyr

pairing: levi x reader I nsfw

word count: 5729

summary: after a long day and lots of tension, levi takes care of you and fucks you into your dilirium

warnings: choking (i mean like you get no air at all), rough sex, dirtytalk, swearing, sub x dom

authors note: ok, i'm absolutely not satisfied with the fanfic, but i've been sitting on it for way too long and i have to get it out now, because i can't work on anything else. the next one will be better, i promise.

all credits to the artist of this pic

i hope that's right

-----

"They're miserable" Oluo says to you and wrinkles his nose. You look at Marco Bott in front of you, hanging in the ropes of the ODM gear and trying with all his might to keep his balance.

A gust of air swirls individual leaves around you, causing a few strands of your hair to fall into your face. The ropes of the ODM gear blow back and forth slightly and this small movement completely throws Bott off balance. You can see the effort and sweat beading on his face, he clenches his teeth tightly before panic overcomes him. His body can't find balance and he starts to row his arms, but it's too late. He topples over backwards and with a dull thud his head hits the stone floor. "Pathetic," you mutter, grabbing your forehead with your hand. Actually, such an impact shouldn't even happen, but judging by the appearance, since Bott slipped out of the leather straps, he hadn't fastened them properly. "The students are a disaster," Oluo says in your direction, and you nod slightly at him.

"Okay, Bott, out of the harnesses! Arlert, you're up next!" he shouts to the other group members, then runs to Marco to help him out of his predicament.

Your eyes roam over the other groups and their contraptions. Oluo was right with his statement. It's been a long time since you've seen such a pile of work. There are individual exceptions like Mikasa Ackerman or Annie Leonhardt, but as mentioned before, these are only exceptions. The rest are doing just as poorly as Bott. A long sigh escapes you.

"They are a bunch of shit.” Your hackles stand up and a cold shiver runs down your spine. The goosebumps start at your shoulders and then spread down your arms. Your heart seems to skip a beat.

"Yes, they are, Captain." Oluo stands next to you again and your captain joins in as well. Out of the corner of your eye, you look to your left at Levi, who looks straight ahead with his arms folded in front of his chest.

"Oi, Arlert, you're a disgrace to our troop. Get a grip."

"Yes, sir," Armin shouts back, but you can see the uncertainty Levi's words bring and his whole-body tenses. He also loses his balance, his body swings backwards and he hangs upside down in the ropes, like Marco Bott before - at least he doesn't hit his head.

"What did I tell you!!! Tighten the center!" roars Oluo, stomping his feet as he makes his way to Arlert.

A breeze comes up again, stronger this time, and the cadets have great difficulty keeping their balance. In fact, everyone sails back, except, to your surprise, Connie Springer, who is cheered on by the rest of his group. You pull your jacket tighter around you, hoping it would catch some of the spring wind, but you shiver anyway.

"Your jaw is tight," Levi's deep voice says beside you, and you turn your gaze to him in surprise. His grey eyes look down at you from above and you swallow hard. He's such a handsome man. His shoulders show well through his uniform and his shirt tightens a bit at his chest due to his muscles. His eyes sparkle slightly from the sun shining on his face. The wind has spread some hair on his forehead and your fingertips start to tickle. How you would like to brush them away. You clench your hands into fists to stop yourself.

"Didn't even realize it," you reply, turning your gaze back to Oluo and Arlert to stay calm. Your heart drums a little in your chest. Your comrade is trying his best to help him and give him instructions and assistance.

"To be honest, your whole body is tense". You feel Levi's calm gaze still resting on you and you put your head back and stare at the sky. A few clouds drift across the sky, white and fluffy.

"It's been a busy day, too." Your eyes shift back to him and you both look into each other's eyes. His grey eyes seem almost a bright silver. He studies you more closely and the corners of his mouth lift up ever so slightly. "Understandable, with this bunch of idiots." You roll your eyes and have to grin slightly before sighing again. It was admittedly leaching to complete the first training sessions with new cadets. They are all so full of anticipation before harsh reality catches up with them and about a third of all are sent back home - if they still have a home after Wall Maria was breached and Shiganshina District had to be left.

Of course, it was little different for you back then, but you performed solidly right from the start and made it to the top 3 of all graduates after hard training. That was also the reason why Levi included you in his squad.

Nonetheless, you just got annoyed and wanted a break from all the frustration and instruction you had to give. Being a teacher is not the reason you joined the Survey Corps.

Levi is just opening his mouth to say something when Petra's loud voice echoes across the square.

"Captain, I need your help." Over Levi's shoulder, you can see her, hands flailing in the air. Levi clicks his tongue and his expression changes, becomes slightly annoyed. You do the same. He leans over to you, his head right next to yours. His strong scent of black tea and citrus rises to your nose and your knees go weak. His hot breath hits the shell of your ear and goosebumps cover your body again. "I'll make you feel better later." Your heart starts beating faster and a deep blush settles over your cheeks. You hold your breath as he turns and walks with strong strides back to his spot by Petra, the Wings of Freedom emblazoned large on his back.

"Tch, I haven't seen a fucking weakling like that in a long time, Yaeger," you hear him shout further back. Again, a slight grin comes over you.

"Ma'am, can you help me with the straps?" calls Christa Renz over to you. She snaps you out of your thoughts and you come back to yourself. You expel your long-held breath and make your way over to her.

The rest of the training was like chewing gum compared to before. The remaining part of your group wasn't a total bust, but Levi's words left a sweet note and butterflies in your stomach. Your whole body tingled with joy and the scenarios in your head took their own course. Every now and then your gaze swung to Levi, even as you have pulled yourself together, but the temptation was far too great. And then when he caught your gaze, you could see the change in him even across the distance. At one point you even thought he winked at you, which was the most uncharacteristic thing ever for him, but just the pure thought that you were right made your knees weak again. For this reason, you were more concerned with your students, who were not very happy about it. You had the reputation of being almost as strict as Levi - but with less insults - and that although your size made you look more like a dwarf. At the end of the training, the Levi Squad then condemned the worst to clean up the mess. The sun was lower by now, it was late afternoon and the wind was blowing stronger. You walked together as a group back to the large building and followed the cadets to the mess hall.

As usual, you took your food first before the rest could strike, which you were more than happy about. At least on days when there was meat, it was always an advantage for everything and everyone to fill their plates before Sasha Blouse. Her love for food was immeasurable. After her, there wasn't that much left for others to lead and sharing was out of the question for her. You plod along behind Eld with your full plate and settle into the seat next to him and Oluo.

"What a day, huh guys?" groans Petra, sliding onto the bench across from you, followed by Gunther and then Levi, who grabs the seat across from yours.

You stare at the potatoes, meat and bread in front of you and start eating, almost burning yourself.

The others do the same, while Levi drinks his tea and lets his gaze roam the room to observe the other cadets.

"There, you say something. I wonder when it's going to be expedition time again. Time to kill some titans again, isn't it?" grins Oluo next to you, poking you in the side. You give him a dry look. "You mean so I can do all the work again and you can rest?" Oluo blushes slightly, whether from anger or shame, and slashes at the table with his knife in his right hand.

"I was here long before you even got around to it, kid".

"That makes your 39 kills all the sadder," you mock, and the others stifle their laughter.

Oluo contorts his face and is about to open his mouth when Eld slaps him on the back, "Oh Oluo, I can still remember when you wet yourself on your first expedition."

The blow startles Oluo slightly and he yelps in pain. He slaps his hand over his mouth and contorts his face. "I bit my tongue," he mumbles, which really makes the others laugh now. You, on the other hand, just roll your eyes again and are pleased inwardly.

No matter how much you get on each other's nerves sometimes, you are a family that always stands up for each other. Most of the happy moments you can still remember were spent with this group. Each had its strengths and weaknesses, which in turn compensated for another. Your gaze falls on each of them as they still laugh and Oluo still complains before you look at Levi.

Again, your breath catches slightly. His gaze pierces you and holds you spellbound. He looks at you as he slowly eats. A shiver runs down your spine again and you press your legs together. His gaze is intense and deep, going straight to your soul. His silver eyes are darker and possessive. No one at the table seems to notice what's happening, as Levi has always been good at hiding your personal moments. It's a mystery to you how he did it since you always felt caught and like your body didn't really belong to you. He was the one thing that always upset you and left you breathless. You smile slightly at him and his gaze darkens even more, making you swallow.

"Captain, how about a little break for us tonight? We could all sit down together for a bit and have a little drink," Petra catches your attention. She blushes slightly and you have to suppress the gagging. Never, never, would Levi ever feel anything for Petra. Everyone liked her, including him and yourself, of course, but not in that way. They were much too different for that and didn't have the same goals. But you had already noticed how Petra looked at Levi and blushed and bit her lip and stroked through her hair and smiled and laughed extra and positioned herself well and always stood next to him, sat down, tried to work with him, always addressed him directly, took him in protection. You were never jealous because Levi never gave you a reason to be, but Petra made it really hard for you sometimes. Especially since no one, except Hange, of course, knew about how things were between Levi and you.

"Oi, your hand," Gunther says, touching it. You recoil and realize how your hand hurts. You clutch your knife tightly, your knuckles white. Everyone is looking at you. You let go of it and it falls to the table before you mumble a quiet apology and continue eating. Speaking of which, you were bad at hiding your feelings for Levi. The others let go of you and turn their attention back to Petra and Levi.

"Tch, do what you want, I still have workto do". Petra looks slightly disappointed and starts eating again. The rest of the meal was quieter as everyone was busy filling their bellies. Eld and Gunther are the first to leave before Levi raises his voice. "Oi, Petra, take my dishes away as soon as you finished". The girl seems hopeful for a brief moment before Levi smashes her hopes. He looks at you and your almost empty plates. "... And the other one here too".

With these words he straightens up. You look up at him. "Would you help me just now?" His eyes show a sparkle again and your gaze falls on Petra and Oluo for a brief moment before you nod. With those words, he trots off. You quickly get up, say goodbye, and walk after him. Your path past the cadets is quiet and the murmuring around you also quiets, which always happened when Levi was around. No one would dare to accidentally say something that might upset him. Levi headed for the stone stairs in the hallway, down the long hallway to the door of his office. A few torches flicker on the wall, lighting your way, even with the sun still providing more than enough light from outside. All the while, you follow him quietly until he unlocks the door and both of you step inside.

You close the door behind you with a soft click and turn around. Levi is standing in front of you with his arms folded in front of his chest. He leans slightly against his desk and examines you from top to bottom. The evening sun shines through the window behind him and strong shadows stand out on his face. "How are you?" You bite your lower lip and swallow hard. "Pretty good, I guess," you say and avert your gaze, looking down at the ground. You continue to feel his gaze and you blush slightly. Your breathing gets a little heavier and you swallow again. The tension in this room is heavy and oppressive. The energy between you is crackling and the hairs on your arms are standing up. It is amazing how different Levi could behave. Toward everyone else on the planet, he was an ass, no question about it. But to you, he treated you like you were a flower that would wilt if he didn't take proper care of it. You bite your lower lip. Levi's footsteps come toward you until he's standing right in front of you and you can look at his shoes. He puts a finger under your chin and lifts your face. His eyes are impenetrable, and he can probably read you again like one of his books.

"You know better than to bite your lip," he whispers to you. He places his left hand against the door behind you and leans against you. His eyes pull you in before you close them and feel his lips on yours. In the background, you hear him turn the key in the lock, locking you in this room. His teeth graze over your bottom lip and he captures it, sucking on it before releasing it. "I'll do that for you, won't I?" A low moan escapes you and you open your eyes again. He was even closer to you, your noses almost grazing each other, and his hot breathing and warmth befuddle you.

"Remember what I promised you earlier?" You nod and lick your lips. His gaze immediately darts to that movement before he looks into your soul again. "Repeat it."

"You promised me that you would make me feel better".

A slight smile curls his lips and he takes your face in his right hand. You nestle into it and your heart flutters.

"So, do you still want this?" What a question, you think and nod slightly, kissing the inside palm of his hand and staring at him. Please make me feel good. Again, he has to smirk slightly and presses a feather-light kiss to your forehead before stepping away from you, taking his warmth with him. He steps back to his desk and resumes his previous posture there. His face and body tension are harder and his eyes seem much darker than before.

"Take off your clothes," comes his instruction. His voice is also low and hard. You look at him a little unsettled and surprised before you start undoing the buttons of your blouse. His gaze follows your movements and he tilts his head slightly. You kick your shoes aside. The removal of your pants in particular seems to fascinate him, and you swear you saw a sparkle in his eyes as your bra and panties follow the other garments as well. So, you stand in front of him, shivering slightly from the temperature difference, causing your nipples to poke hard at him and your skin to be covered in goosebumps again. He licks his lips and takes off his jacket, placing it on his desk behind him. He undoes the straps that wrap around his torso and sets them aside as well.

"Kneel down." You do as you were told and kneel on the cold wooden floor. This causes the cold to shoot more strongly through your body and you shake yourself slightly. Levi is still watching you and slowly lets his gaze roam over you. After your next blink, he rises and steps to the other side of his desk, which faces his window. He opens the first drawer on the left and pulls out something. After closing it, he comes back to your side and slowly steps towards you. You are a little surprised at what he just did since you can't see anything in his hands. He stops in front of you and looks down. You follow his hands, which reach for the buttons of his shirt, which he then slowly opens bit by bit. His gaze stares at you again, while he moves as if in slow motion. For you, it was all much too slow and with each button your heart beat a beat faster again. If it were up to you, you would have torn it from his body so that the buttons would fly across the room. But your hands remain still in your lap as you wait for each button. Finally arriving at the last one, he undoes it as well before slipping his shirt off his torso. His shoulders and arms work as he does so, and your knees soften. You love his body, he's a god. With all the years of training and fighting experience, it goes without saying that he is trained, but his cross and arms especially make your heart weak. You don't know what that is because of, but it's just a preference of yours on him. One of the many you have to mention about it. And you love every single scar from his skin you've run along them so many times with your lips and fingers. Slowly your temperature changes. Your body becomes warm and you notice how your center becomes moist. He reaches into his right pants pocket and pulls out a long piece of rope. Your breath catches and your eyes widen. Levi still just looks at you and plays with it a bit, tightens it and let’s go again. As he does, the muscles under his skin play again, looking indescribable with the setting sun in the background. Veins come out from under his skin and you pull your eyebrows together in frustration. He shines like a saint that you love to cling to so that he can keep all the evil in the world away from you.

"Hands behind your back." Immediately you do as he said and follow him as long as you can with your gaze as he walks around you and then kneels behind you. His fingers are warm as they graze your skin and he ties the rope around your wrists to join your two hands together. After he's done, he runs his hands up your arms, touching the haunches above your collarbones for seconds before pulling his hands away again.

"Close your eyes," he whispers in your right ear. The last thing you see before your eyes flutter shut are the last rays of the sun, which bathe the room in a deep orange-red. You feel something being placed over your eyes. Levi ties the piece of cloth to the back of your head and then rises. As soon as you realize he's done, your eyes open briefly, only to see deep black. Butterflies spread through your lower stomach and you press your lips together to stifle a moan. With excitement and anticipation, you feel more wetness between your legs and squirm slightly to create some pressure, but to no avail. Now without sight, you rely more on your ears and the sounds of the environment around you. Levi moves quietly around the room, you locate him at his desk and hear him light a match. The smell of smoke fills the room. When he seems to be finished, he moves back toward you. You hear the rattle of the buckles of his belts, which then fall to the floor with a sound. He loosens one strap after another until the sounds stop. You feel his presence in front of you and squeeze your legs together again. Fabric rustles before it's quiet again. Suddenly, a hand reaches into your hair and pulls your head almost painfully to the back of your neck. Air escapes your throat and you make a surprised sound.

"Open your mouth." Levi's voice seems even deeper than usual and hard, almost cold. You open it on command and stick out your tongue. You hear him smirk and feel one of his fingers, which slowly works its way to your throat. "I raised you so well," Levi murmurs, and you suck on his finger. Shortly after, two more join him. "I'm going to use you so well. You're going to do exactly what you were made to do: choke on my cock and milk it afterwards." A long moan escapes you and you suck on his fingers, your tongue playing with them before withdrawing them again. A feather-light touch brushes over your left nipple and you sigh. "I saw the look on your face earlier. How shamelessly you fantasize about such things while your cadets are in front of you and that idiot Oluo is standing next to you. How I would have loved to take his place". Your saliva causes your nipples to harden again as the cold air swirls around them. The hand in your hair loosens. Shortly after, you feel something warm and soft against your lips. Your mouth opens again and you groan. Levi's cock slides between your teeth into the roof of your mouth and he moans out too. "Fuck, finally." You feel the wetness between your legs run down your thigh before it drips onto the floor. Levi's hand finds its way into your hair again, and he pulls his hips back before they shoot forward again and his cock buries itself in your mouth once more. He holds this speed for some time. You get warmer and warmer, especially at the thought of you kneeling there right now in front of him and him using your mouth. "You're doing so good, slut," Levi murmurs from above, thrusting harder. The sound of your mouth smacking and his increasingly heavy breathing echoes through the room. You taste a few drops of his juice and your eyes roll back into your skull. Again, a long moan escapes you and the hand in your hair grips harder. Slight pain jolts through your scalp and goosebumps form on your skin again.

"Your mouth is so warm and wet. Just not as tight as your cunt, but I can change that". His cock finds its way deeper into your throat, almost hitting the back it before withdrawing completely. For a brief moment you feel his lips on yours, his tongue exploring the path his cock had paved earlier. He tastes himself on your lips and wants much more of it. The kiss is wild and he leaves you with throbbing, swollen lips. "Tongue out." Before you can take a breath, you're sticking it out at him again. He slaps his cock on it a few times before burying himself inside you again with one smooth thrust. His entire length fills your mouth, and you gag slightly as his tip sticks way too deep in your throat. Levi doesn't let up though, keeping you that way before resuming his previous speed and hardness. You squeeze your eyes shut, but tears escape your eyelids anyway. They wet the fabric on your eyes and find their way along under it, flowing down your cheeks and dripping on your legs. The more your throat hurts, the heavier Levi's breathing becomes. His balls hit your chin and his second hand finds its way into your hair as well, holding you in place.

"You feel so good," his deep, dry voice comes out. "...The way you sit here in front of me and suck me so good. Other men dream about it. Who would believe what a slut you are?" You moan and the vibration makes him wince and he claws into your scalp. As best you can, you slide your tongue around his shaft, grasping his tip, sucking on him while his hips keep thrusting. Your mouth and neck feel painful and your jaw hurts from the constant mouthing. As your tongue touches his balls, his hips twitch and he pulls back breathlessly. His cock pulls out of you again and you gasp for air. You cough heavily and saliva runs down the corners of your mouth.

Suddenly, Levi's hands push at your hips and pull you upward. Your legs are jello, which is why he catches your weight and supports you. The soles of your feet touch the ground for only a few moments before you feel his shoulder against your stomach and your face comes to rest on his back. The air is forced from your lungs and blood rushes to your head. He grips the rope at your wrists, thus holding you tight before he moves. “Levi, I want more”, you mumble and feel the juice running between your legs. He opens the door to his bedroom and carries you to his bed, where he lays you down somewhat roughly. The room smells like him. The bed linen is freshly washed, which is normal for him. The smell of tea is also heavy in the air, as well as its own note, which is that of Levi himself. “Tch, it's clear to me that you little bitch can't get enough. But do not worry, my big cock will fill you up in a minute.”

He turns you onto your stomach and pulls your butt up and towards him. You feel his warm breath at your center and your muscles tremble. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself for being so wet?" He blows against your wet lips and you squirm slightly under him. You feel his tongue licking once along your slit. You moan loudly as you finally get some touch before his hand hits your right ass cheek and you howl in pain. Without warning, his cock drills deep into your cunt and your moans mingle in the small space, echoing out to you. Immediately, Levi picks up the pace he had earlier while fucking your mouth. You jerk beneath him, moaning into the mattress beneath you, and your fingernails each dig into the wrist of the other arm. Again, Levi's hand closes around the rope and he pulls you up to him, grasping your throat with his other hand and biting your shoulder. You moan his name loudly and press against the warmth of his chest. He licks over the bite marks and fucks you harder. Your walls close tightly around his cock and he moans loudly next to your ear. "How tight can you get?" he murmurs, and his hand around your throat squeezes tighter. His fingers are right against your main arteries. Your air gets shorter, your pulse beats faster to push the blood into your head, but because of the pressure from his fingers it doesn't work. Light panic overcomes you and mixes with your lust. "Levi...I-I," you try to say before everything around you goes black. Your whole-body collapses and you can't finish your sentence. He immediately releases the pressure of his hand before you finally lose consciousness and the blood rushes back to your head. The difference in pressure makes you dizzy as you slowly regain consciousness. His thrusts don't stop, his endurance was immeasurable. He moans into your neck and your whole belly tingles with satisfaction. Your moans get louder again.

"Again?"

"Yes," you groan out. You hear him laugh softly before the pressure around your throat intensifies again and the scenario from just now repeats itself. The mixture of dizziness and pleasure is a deadly mix. Nothing feels better and you want more, more and more, but Levi knows exactly when to stop before he puts your little body through too much. As you come to yourself again, Levi loosens his hand around the rope and wraps his arm around your stomach. He presses you tighter against him, holding your weak body tight. "You're the biggest slut," he murmurs against your ear. The hand on your belly slowly strokes to your pelvic bones, slowly finding its way between your legs. He circles your clit with his middle finger, making you twitch and squirm against his chest as you praise his name. His lips settle on your neck, beginning to suck as his hand pushes deeper. He feels his own cock thrusting into you and adds his index and middle fingers, burying them in your creamy hole as well, which they grip tightly, and your moans grow louder again. No one must ever know what Levi does with you during all those hours in his bedroom. No one would probably believe it. How many marks he has left on your body, how many times he has cut off your air, how many times he has fucked you into unconsciousness, left your cunt sore. If Levi would be a religion, you would be its first martyr.

You lay your head in your neck and his hand around your throat rests on your forehead, pressing your head back. This makes it easier for him to get to your throat with his mouth. He licks away the sweat next to the mark before making more. "I'm so sick of no one knowing what I do to you," he hums against your neck. "I'm so fed up with the fact that some complete idiots actually still think they have a chance with you, can fuck you the way I'm doing right now". At these words he fucks you incessantly, his two fingers in addition inside you, which stretch you further and you are in heaven. Your delirium is near. He feels his way forward, curves his fingers, massages the inside of your walls. He just can't get to your g-spot due to the extra space his dick takes up and you will think you are going insane. "Even though yes I love how jealous you get of Petra. Tch, as if I would touch that filthy bitch." His thrusts get even harder and your whole-body tenses, groaning in pain. "No one can give me what you give me," he whispers. No one could give him the power he had over you. He could do whatever he wanted with you and you would get wet with lust and horniness. You were a dream come true, not just in that way. Levi loves you more than anything else in the world, even if he never says it, but deep inside you know it.

The thumb of his hand moves between your legs again to your clitoris and presses against it. A second, two seconds pass before you explode. Your vision goes white despite your blindfold, your body writhes, the muscles in your thighs twitch wildly, and you scream the room together. His name falls from your lips again as he fucks you through your orgasm. Each thrust brings sparks, his lips on your neck and his hands on and inside you. As your body slowly calms, he releases you, removes his hands, and pushes you back into the mattress. Your face shifts over the fabric before he has you back in the right position. His right leg settles next to your hip and you hear the bed creak beneath you. He continues to increase his speed, getting harder. His head settles into your neck and he moans loudly as he fucks you, finally meeting his end. Tears run down your cheeks as your body is drained, screaming at you to take a break. But the sensation between your legs pulls through your body again, making you moan once more. His hands dig painfully into your ass before Levi explodes inside you. His juice squirts into you and your name falls from his lips, giving you butterflies again. He thrusts with light strokes before gradually slowing down and dropping against your body.

He gives himself a brief moment before rising from you and untying your hands. without any remaining body tension, you fall onto the mattress beneath you and tear the blindfold from your head. The room is dark. The sun has set in time and your sense of time is confused. The light from the candle in the office brings a little light into the room, so that you can make out the outlines of the furniture.

"Better?" You hum to him and snuggle into the blanket beneath you. "Oi, I'll run us a bath, don't fall asleep." You grumble again and look after him as he leaves you alone and drained in the dark room.

[annie-blackhill]

Aight, I know that I've been away for awhile but now I'm back and I have ideas babes!

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Warnings:

Depression

Anxiety

Past panic attacks

Mentions of past domestic violence

Abusive childhood

Post traumatic events unconscious coping mechanisms

Unconscious flinching out of instinct

Sudden panic when hearing fighting between a man and a woman screaming very near

Loss of breath

Domestic violence

Blood

Panic attack

____________________________________

Dazai Osamu

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Safe and Sound

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Dazai and (Y/N) have been in a relationship for two years now. They're so in love with each other that everyone at the ADA are questioning the fact as to why they weren't married yet.

Dazai really loves (Y/N) and she loves him just as much back. They both really love each other and they both understand each other the most too.

But there were still some things that Dazai didn't know.

The main reason why (Y/N) and Dazai weren't married yet was because Dazai wanted to get her parents' blessings first. He was so excited to get their blessings, to meet the people who brought his perfectly imperfect lover into this cruel, tainted world.

He was eternally grateful to them for bringing her into this world, although the cruel world had tainted her and made her the broken person she is now, he still loves her for her. She's the only reason he has to live now. And he loves her for that.

Whenever Dazai asked (Y/N) about her family, she would tell him stories about when she was a child and how her dad would bring them to the beach every weekend because they lived near to the beach or when they went back to school shopping together.

But that was it. Her dad never really appeared in her other stories much. He would pop in at some point of the tale and then disappear. Her mum, was mostly the one to witness her achievements.

But (Y/N) has never described her parents' proud expressions whenever she achieved something.

At times, when Dazai did pry lightly, she would turn the story somewhere else, mostly to her friends.

He knew that she didn't really have a good primary school life, seeing as she's told him before that she's been bullied at that time. She's described them as the loneliest years of her life and how much she's hated herself those times.

Whenever (Y/N) talked about friends, it would be about her friends from her high school life. Her high school was much more on the better side.

She had been a prefect in her high school years, since her first year to her last year.

The only bad memories she had was when she realized that being in the first class and being the top of the class meant the other students would sabotage her and the two times in her senior years where she had to fight back as self-defense when she tried to break up a fight and they started to hit her too.

Dazai wasn't daft. Of course, he picked up on all the signs she showed that she wasn't really fond of her parents.

At first, he thought that it was just because of a small fight they had. But two years have passed in their relationship and (Y/N) hasn't cracked even the least to tell him why her childhood stories are only until a certain age or why she's never told him how proud her parents were of her.

Dazai was worried. In the end, he decided that maybe her parents just have a slightly tight relationship with each other.

Dazai decided to not ask. He let it slide and slip past them. He never touched the subject of her parents for the half of the second year of their relationship.

As the other half year of their relationship rolled in, Dazai and (Y/N) had saved enough money to buy a cozy little apartment near the ADA and move out of the ADA's hostel.

The day they were moving in, the couple were greeted by the middle aged woman who lived next door with her husband and 4 year old daughter.

She had been a very sweet auntie that welcome the sweet couple to the apartment complex with open arms and a sweet smile.

More than once had she cooked good food for the duo since they always returned late from work.

"You two kinda remind me of how my husband and I used to be when we were younger and so in love," the auntie would say to the duo all the time.

The little 4 year old would also come by and play around with the loving couple whenever they were on leave.

Auntie would always try persuade her daughter from "disturbing the lovely young couple" as she would always say to her daughter.

"It's alright, auntie! I love kids! (N/N)-chan and I are planning to have a few little munchkins like this when we're married too!" Dazai would assure her, while playing with the little girl.

But there was always something about how (Y/N) would send the auntie knowing looks as though she knew something that he didn't all the time, so he decided to pay more attention too.

When Dazai did start to notice more, he noticed the dark bags under the auntie's eyes and he noticed how tired she always was.

The more he noticed the more concerning she looked to him day by day.

"Auntie, would you like to join us for tea, today? Osamu and I wanted to play with that sweet little angel," (Y/N) invited the auntie.

"WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR???!!!" the booming voice of the male from inside the auntie's house shook (Y/N) to the core and it ignited old memories that she didn't have to remember.

"Auntie, you really should come. Osamu insists! You know how he gets when he doesn't get what he wants! He'll be whining all day long like a little baby!" (Y/N) tried to convince the auntie discreetly.

"I ASKED 'WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR'! ANSWER ME YOU USELESS WOMAN!!!" the man shouted from the bedroom again.

(Y/N) flinched. She was regretting sending Dazai to the store now. They had been running low on groceries and she had sent Dazai to the store, as she would say "please contribute you're lazy arse to do something in this household, my love" and he had carried his lazy arse to the store near the apartment complex.

After Dazai had left was when she started to hear the shouts and yells from the next door auntie's house.

Even as the bad memories plunged her being, she had forced herself to go and at least try to save the auntie before anything bad happened to either her or her daughter.

But even then, if you looked closely at (Y/N) you could see that she was trembling badly and that she could barely stand on her two feet.

"Auntie, come on please!" (Y/N) begged in a mutter exclamation.

"I'm sorry," the auntie murmured before closing the door on her with an apologetic smile.

"Auntie, no!" (Y/N) exclaimed.

And that was when she heard the terrible screams and the yell. The cries of the little 4 year old teared her soul apart into the smallest of pieces.

"NO, NO, NO!!!!" (Y/N) yelled as her mind turned blank and the memories flooded her brain.

Her mind turned so blank that she forgot that she was slamming her fists onto the door and that she had an ability.

The memories of how her father would come home drunk and lay on the sofa. Of how her mother had found out that he was having an affair. Of how, he would beat the living daylights out of her mother.

(Y/N) never told Dazai any of that. She felt ashamed to tell him that her childhood was the most terrible thing to ever happen to her.

A blood curdling screamed pierced the air along with a loud cry and that was enough for (Y/N) to snap out of her traumas and remember that there were lives on the stake right now.

She finally regained her senses fully and remembered that she has an ability.

Using her elemental abilities, she bent the wooden front door so much that it broke it half and broke off of it's hinges. The lower half flew to the side of the corridor almost hitting her while the other half flew into the house and hit the middle aged aggressive man that was about to beat his wife over the head with a glass flower vase.

The auntie stood in shock as the younger woman ran to her and hugged her.

"Auntie! Are you alright?! Are you bleeding anywhere?! Do you have any fatal injuries?!" (Y/N) questioned quickly as she held the shorter's woman's face in her hands and looked her over, making sure that she wasn bleeding anywhere majorly.

"Why you little freak show! You must one of those freak shows that are born with those little abilities! How dare you interfere with someone else's family problems?! Youngsters these days don't know how to respect their elders! Let me teach you then!" the man yelled at (Y/N) as she stood in front of the trembling woman, making sure that the older woman was perfectly hidden behind her.

(Y/N) slipped a hand into the back pocket of her jeans. She clutched the holster of her gun.

"Step away, right now before I seriously hurt you," (Y/N) warned as she held her left hand out to stop him from coming any nearer to them.

The man took off his belt and folded it into two, straightening it out with a snap, which caused both women to flinch as more dark memories flooded into (Y/N)'s mind.

"I said STOP RIGHT THERE!" (Y/N) warned yet again. It was against the law for her to shoot him and she couldn't even use her abilities against him as he was a normal civilian.

She was trying her best to not hurt anyone here and let the civilian authorities handle the ruthless man.

The moment the man raised his arm was the same time (Y/N) slipped her gun out of her back pocket and shot his arm.

The man let out a cry of pain and fell back from the sudden pain. He looked at the younger woman, wide eyed as she held the gun tight and pointed the barrel to his forehead.

"Armed Detective Agency member, (L/N) (Y/N)," (Y/N) announced as she showed him her ADA card.

The man backed away more at that. His eyes wide as he realized that she was a member of the authorities.

"(Y/N)?!" Dazai shouted as he entered only to see the bloodied situation of the man and the two trembling women.

"Where's the child?!" Dazai asked immediately.

"Sh-she's in her room," the auntie answered meekly.

Dazai nodded. He looked down at the man, disgust, venom and a desire to kill clear on his face.

The man even then, still tried to gain Dazai's pity as Dazai was a fellow man too.

"S-sir! All I was trying to do was educate my wife to be more better and obedient! I wasn't trying to do anything other than that! I swear!" the man said.

That only made Dazai even more disgusted as he spat on the man's face in disgust. He stomped his foot harshly on the man's hand that was holding the belt.

"You disgust me you old fool! You're an utter disgrace of a human being! I'm disgusted to see people like you are still alive! Terrorizing women's lives! Making them only feel like obedient dolls that should only do whatever you say!

I'd rather kill you then let you go to jail and then get back out after a few months! People like you shouldn't exist at all in the first place!

Your wife is supposed to be your life partner! Not some maid or toy that would do everything you say! You're supposed to live life and do everything together!

I can't believe you even had a child with her only to state your dominance over her and make her unable to run away from you!

You disgust me!" Dazai yelled at the man as he twisted his foot on the man's hand more and stomped it over and over and over again, intent on breaking it.

(Y/N) shielded the auntie's sight form her lover's rage as he broke the man's hand and rendered it completely shattered under his shoe.

"Osamu..." (Y/N) called out for him.

Dazai raised his head to look at his lover, tears streaming from his eyes from utter pure white hot rage.

"Are you alright? Are the two of you alright? Is that little angel injured?" Dazai's voice turned so soft that (Y/N)'s heart broke at the mere sound of it. He sounded as scared as she was feeling.

Dazai went over to the two women and squeezed them into a light hug, he buried his face into the crook of (Y/N)'s neck. (Y/N) hugged his waist, her arm practically limp, but her hand still clutching the gun tight just in case the man tried anything, her ear was placed against his frantically beating heart.

The older woman had wrapped her arm over his back and was hugging him tight, scared out of her life and grateful for the presence of the two youngsters at the moment.

"Osamu... We need to call the police and the ADA, specifically Kunikida-san. We need to explain a hell load to them all," (Y/N) murmured lightly to the shaken man.

Dazai nodded lightly at her statement before pressing a light kiss to the crook of her neck and removing himself from the hold of the two women.

"Auntie, do get your little girl and wait outside of the house. (Y/N) and I will call the police and our co-worker to handle the mess here," Dazai informed the older woman.

She merely nodded, not trusting her voice to be strong enough to answer him as she went to the little girl's bedroom to get her out of the house.

Once the child and woman were safely out of the house, Dazai dialed Kunikida while (Y/N) dialed the police station.

Both at had arrived at the house. The man was brought away on a stretcher by the paramedics as (Y/N) was explaining to the police as to why she had used her gun.

Kunikida and Dazai, both standing on either side of her, trying to justify the reason as to why she did so and the police accepted the reasons in the end.

Dazai said his end of the story and then they moved on to ask the wife and the child about their ends of the story.

"(Y/N), you know you shouldn't have used your gun. I'll have to confiscate it for now. You'll only be allowed to use it on missions. I'm sorry but those are the rules that you need to follow after that little act of 'misusage' as the police says," Kunikida sighed as he took the gun lightly from her slightly slackened grasp on it now.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I was scared and he raised the belt above me, ready to hit at any moment---" her voice cracked and she couldn't continue the sentence anymore.

Kunikida held her hand softly as Dazai brought (Y/N) into a soft side hug, holding her softly and rubbing her shoulders.

"I know and that's why I'm the one that's supposed to be saying sorry for taking away your gun, (Y/N)," Kunikida said.

"Hey, hey. It's alright, the both of you. I'll pull some strings here and there and make sure, (Y/N) gets her gun back, alright? Easy peasy!" Dazai lightened the mood up a little.

"Sigh, thank you, Dazai. For making this easier for all of us," Kunikida said before excusing himself, saying that he needs to fill out a few more forms at the police station and make sure that neither Dazai or (Y/N) get accused for anything that they didn't do.

Dazai proceeded to lead (Y/N) back to their little home as the auntie and her daughter were led to the second ambulance by the new paramedics.

(Y/N) leaned into Dazai as she curled up onto him. He held her close and tight, knowing full well that she was shaken up from the encounter.

"Osamu... Remember how you always asked for the truth about my childhood... What you witnessed today that was happening to that auntie and her daughter? That's the real truth to my childhood.

But no one saved us. And as I grew and my dad lived his other life with his little affair, he would come and go to let off steam on my mother and my mother started to blame me for how miserable our lives were.

That's why I never had a past occupation like everyone else. I had been working with the ADA ever since I was 18 and I ran away from her.

The president helped me. He helped my mother by providing her safety and a new home.

My father is still out there, somewhere with that other woman.

And I... I've never seen my mother since the day I ran away. She must be happier now," (Y/N) said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Dazai hugged her closer and kissed her forehead.

"It's alright, love. You have me and the other ADA members for you as well now. Hell, even the Port Mafia is with you right now after how much you helped them out when we were all having trouble with The Guild and Fyodor. You have all of us here for you.

Most importantly, my love, you have me. I won't let anyone so much as hurt you even a little bit and go off the hook.

I swear," Dazai murmured softly into her ear and she snuggled closer to him, their feets touching and their hands interwined with each other's.

____________________________________

"Port Mafia strikes again as a man who was arrested yesterday due to commiting domestic violence was murdered by them brutally in his own jail cell much to the surprise of all the police officers present.

Police officers were considering requesting the Armed Detective Agency to further an investigation at first, but has now decided against it as the chief of the police station has deemed it as a waste since the man was a criminal," the news reporter announced on the morning news as (Y/N) sipped her (bitter/sweet/neutral) (coffee/tea) and Dazai adorable chewed his crab sandwich.

"Who did you ask to do it?" (Y/N) asked immediately as soon as Dazai swallowed.

"Chuuya was more than willing after I told him the story. I didn't even have to tell him which police station and cell that scum was in, he ran off and figured it all out himself and finished the job," Dazai answered before continuing to adorably eat his crab sandwich.

"That scum deserved it," (Y/N) agreed as she continue sipping her (coffee/tea).

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Awareness Note:

Stop domestic violence. The pain lingers on even after the relationship has ended. No one should have to be bounded to a spouse that only views them as an object and an inferior instead of a human being and an equal. No one has to go through physical and mental pain with a monster that prefers to take control of everything. No one has to go through such pain.

Marriage isn't pain! Marriage is a bond of two people who love each other!

If it hurts both physically and mentally, then it's not love.

Know the difference.

[gl0rious-purpose]

How Far Is Too Far? (Loki x Protective!Reader)

Summary: After moving into the Avengers compound, reader had adjusted to the joking tones of their fellow members. When Loki moves into the building, the teasing from Tony strikes a nerve with the reader.

Word Count: 2059 Words

After living in the Avengers compound since the New York attack, you've watched your teammates insult each other jokingly. Steve would throw jabs at Natasha and Bucky during workouts, Sam would join in and get dragged into a big, playful tussle. Even though you sat on the sidelines with Wanda, you still enjoyed watching them pick on each other. You could easily say you have adjusted to each team members tone to identify when they were messing around. 

When Thor brought his mischievous brother to live amongst you all, the humor laced tones diminished into bitterness whenever he was present. Tony seemed to be the only one who would acknowledge his presence with crude words while the others gave each other knowing looks. You lost track of how many insults that man could throw at Loki throughout the day. You were beginning to think that was all Tony could do to keep himself entertained. While you weren't entirely sure, whenever a harsh jab got spouted in the god's direction, a flicker of hurt crossed his eyes before they returned to their cold appearance. This, of course, worried you since Loki was apart of the team now and deserved the same respect everyone else got. Everyone had warmed up to the idea of him being there after he had proved himself worthy in combat, but Tony was still on the fence.

After returning from a mission, you'd stumbled upon Tony in his workshop talking to himself as he tweaked his suit. If no one else was going to confront Tony about his snide comments, you were. You had seen a completely different side to Loki today when retrieving information. It was almost like he started to trust you guys and they trusted him. Taking a deep breath, you slowly pushed up the workshop door and waited for Tony to acknowledge your presence. When he finally looked up, he gave you a pleased smile before returning to working on his suit.

"Hey kid, how'd the mission go?" Tony grunted as he reached deep into the suit to grab a tool he'd dropped. 

"It went very well. I think Loki's actually starting to trust us." Responding with a hopeful voice, you turned to look for a seat just in case this conversation got lengthy. Tony's face appeared above the suit, eyebrows furrowed at your statement.

"Listen, Y/N. Don't go relying on Mr. Freeze. He trusts no one, but himself." He pointed his wrench at you as if he was scolding you with his finger before turning to find the tool he really needed. A tense silence brushed over you at his words, the only sound being Tony's tools clanging together kept your focus. Briskly standing up, you pushed in your seat. If he was to play that card, let him. I'm not going to stand for it.

"Tony, you seem to be the only asshole here that believes that. I don't understand why you can't just accept that Loki is here to change, not create conflict." You looked at the man across from you, who was clearly taken aback. The silence motivated you to go on.

"The amount of times that man as saved your ass, Stark. You owe him a bit of courtesy as he holds a position on this damn team. How far is too far?" Feeling anger bubbling throughout your body, you reached out and shoved your palm against the counter next to you, taking deep breaths. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Tony nodding in agreement, going to open his mouth to respond when someone cut him off.

"And I don't need a pitiful excuse of a Midgardian to stick up for me. Maybe you should keep your nose out of other people's businesses." Loki's cold, irritated voice rang out from behind the both of you. Tony only looked at you ask you turned around to face the God of Mischief. You felt the anger dissipate as your fiery determination left your eyes. Loki's cold demeanor seemed to of softened as he realized that he had hurt you. Regretting his words, he tried to muster up the courage to reach out to you, but you backed away from him. Diverting your eyes, you straightened up your posture and nodded in response to his words.

"That's fine by me." You gritted your teeth as you rushed out there, bumping into the god's shoulder as you rushed out of there as quickly as possible. You didn't mean to of upset Loki by any means, you were just tired of Tony walking all over him like he was a rug that no one liked. Once out into the corridor, tears seemed to brim your eyes as you briskly walked to your room, picking up pace every second you could. When you reached the floor you ironically shared with Loki, you almost collapsed in the living room. Any other time, those words would've never fazed you. Hell, they would've make you smirk in response to his cruel statement. But this time? This time it was different. It didn't take you long to realize you had developed feelings for the god, but you were afraid to reveal them. What if he judged you for falling for him? Gathering your emotions, you stumble up the stairs to your room. The quicker you could get up to your room, the less of a risk of Loki coming up and seeing you.

"God, why does this hurt so much?" Your strained voice cracked as your back hit your door, sliding quickly down it. Quite sobs racked your body as the tears just kept pouring down your face and your body curled up into an upright fatal position. Your self-loathing thoughts swam around your head faster than you could get the chance to process them as you rocked yourself. The thoughts soon laced themselves together, making you fall into a mindless fog. You tried to stop sobbing, trying to regain control over your breathing as tears slowly made their way down your flushed cheeks. Your ragged breaths seem to drown out the sudden knock at your door. After a couple minutes, the door suddenly swung outward, reminding you that you still had to convince Clint to come fix your door. Your body fell back onto the floor against someone's shoes. Realizing you didn't lock your door, you looked up into the soft, concerned eyes of the guy you were just trying to defend. Sniffling, your hands shot up and pressed against your tear streaked cheeks, quickly wiping your face so tears weren't present. After a couple seconds, you scrambled to your feet, quickly walking into your room to avoid any violent confrontation with him.

Blowing your nose, you heard your door close. Thank the Gods, I'm alone now. You thought as you sighed raggedly before turning around into the firm chest of Loki. The sudden impact didn't make him budge, but it made you try to back away to give him space. Instead he gently grabbed you and pulled you back in, wrapping his arms tightly around your frame. You tensed at the sudden contact, frozen in place. Loki's hands started rubbing circles on your midsection, hoping it would ease you into the hug. Minutes passed before you finally relented and tightly wrapped your arms around his torso as if your life depended on it. The movement caused a low chuckle to emit from the man holding you, the sound's rumble against you caused you to shiver. Comfortable silence fell upon you two as you both embraced each other.

"So," Loki's now soft and sincere sounding broke the silence. "Why are you in here crying?" He asked, but you knew he already had a good idea of why you were in here crying. He just needed clarification. Do I really want to give him that? You questioned yourself as you swallowed the lump in your throat.

"None of your business, Frosty" you muttered, adding the nickname to try to lighten the mood as you shoved your face into his chest. A disappointed sigh escaped his lips as he pried you away from his body, far enough for him to try to look you in the eye. Except you just looked away from him, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He watched your eyes flicker to different objects lying in your room as you tried to find something to focus on.

"Y/N" He spoke, expecting you to respond with a glance.

"Love?"

"Darling?"

"Sweetheart?" He stopped, trying to think of a nickname that would bring you to look at him.

"Angel?" Loki tried to lace the name with as much love and care as he could, move his head to try to meet your eyes. Even though the room was dark, he was able to subtly see your flushed cheeks grow red at the nickname as your eyes slowly met his. Giving a small, victorious smile, he decided to go on.

"It's my business if you're crying because of me." He stated, making it clear that it wasn't up for debate. You nervously took your bottom lip into your mouth, chewing on it as you thought about what you wanted to say to him. His eyes pierced right through you, expecting an answer. Sighing, you threw yourself  down onto your bed, shoving your face into your hands, rubbing them down it before resting your chin on your palms.

"I just...got tired of seeing Tony insult you like that. I've watched your expression long enough to know that his words hurt you, and I thought I could get through to him. I didn't mean to overstep my boundaries." You paused as he sat down beside you, scooting over so your knees were touching.

"Loki, I care about you. Hell, I'd do anything to prevent any pain that comes to you. I lo-I like you too much. I'm sorry." You looked up at his face that held no expression, hoping he didn't catch your slip. When he didn't respond for a couple minutes, you diverted your eyes to the ground. You examined a piece of paper you must've dropped. Sighing, you dropped your hands and went to to grab the paper off the ground. An icy hand reached up and grabbed your wrist, causing you to quickly look back to Loki. Meeting his eyes, a ghost of a smile played on his lips as mischief filled his eyes. Narrowing your eyes, you went to pull away as he pulled you towards him, adjusting so he was laying backwards. He pulled you on top of him, smiling up at you.

"I.. appreciate that you love me enough to stand up for me. It's really touching." You felt your cheeks heat up again at his words, frowning at the fact he caught your slip. He noticed the frown and moved a piece of hair behind your ear. You looked him directly in the eye, breath hitching as the gesture got very intimate for you.

"And I would do the same for you. Not because I'm your teammate, but because I can't lose you. For Norns sake, not you. I've lost so many people I care for. I love and care you too much. I can't even put what I feel for you into words, Angel." Loki sighed, closing his eyes as he tried to put together more words for you. He opened his eyes just to watch you, but you quickly brought his lips to yours, hoping the emotions you felt towards him transferred via the kiss. They must've as you felt him smile widely into the kiss, moving his hands to the back of your neck to pull you closer. After several minutes, you had to pull back for air, watching Loki's eyes flutter open. He smiled at you, running his hands through your hair.

"So, I guess the feelings mutual, huh?" You joked, grinning at Loki. Growling, he rolled you over and pinned you, leaning in to capture you into another kiss.

"I guess that also means you're mine" Loki stated as he pulled away from the kiss, voice laced with lust and possession. You laughed at the sudden possessiveness. Loki growled and quickly fucked his head against your throat, nipping your neck gently with his teeth. Breathing in sharply, you entangled your hands in his dark, silky hair.

"I guess so~"

You can also read this fic here <3

[beigehearts]

So I'm not sure if you're comfortable writing for these kinds of things so if you aren't then you can just ignore this.

You can write it with Hisoka, Chrollo, Illumi, one or all of them I don't mind (preferably Hisoka)

But I've got issues with eating, not a full out eating disorder (at least not that I know of, I haven't been to a doctor for it) but I find it intimidating to eat full meals, and I normally only eat a couple things daily. Maybe an apple here and an orange for later.

And because of that I've sworn off having kids until I can get it under control (its been 4 years and doesn't seem to get better, I just keep losing weight) last time I weighed myself I was 112 which is getting pretty close to underweight for my height and age.

So could you please do a trio (or individual) x fem reader where she's been bullied about her weight by her mom and peers and has a hard time eating, and because of that she doesn't want to get pregnant and risk having a baby born premature or extremely unhealthy, or die. But somehow she manages to get pregnant (maybe failed contraceptives) so Hisoka/Illumi/Chrollo tries helping her get better about eating. Setting timers and having thought out meals for the day that includes all the food groups needed.

I've always been told to eat more or that all I ever eat is junk food but I'm not fat, I'm not extremely skinny, I just wish there would've been somebody telling me that everything would be fine and help me through it. Nobody has yet though, everybodys first reaction to me saying I rarely eat is that I should eat more when I literally cannot force myself to do so.

I really do apologize for this being long, and if you don't write this I can always find somebody else.

No I completely understand! I’ve struggled with my eating in the past and I sympathize. I know that hearing “just eat” and what not doesn’t help and I know it’s hard- but all you can do is try your hardest to get better- the journey is just as important as the result I’m more than happy to do this request- I really appreciate it because I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while. I tried to get this done asap because I feel like its important I really hope you like it!!

Alright let’s get started lads fem!reader CW: eating disorder, pregnancy

Illumi

It’s been days since you had your last meal. As his future wife and a future mother it has worried him sick. And at some points you wonder if he’s only concerned about the baby. You’ve been on birth control for months after having a long talk with Illumi that children would need to wait a bit until you have yourself under control. He’s been acting strangely, he’s been pacing which he has never done before, and snapping at his brothers, sister, and mother.

You sit on the balcony, a heavy rain pounding down, the awning above you barely protecting you. You look into the distance and rub your belly, as if trying to wish away the baby. It’s not that you don’t want children, you really do, and you also want to for Illumi’s sake. But it’s not time. You’re not ready. Your body is too frail and your hips cannot hold a child. The mere thought of something going wrong with your precious baby, is enough to make you sick. You’ve been brewing in bad thoughts for days since you found out- but this isn’t time to sulk...

Illumi opens the sliding door to the balcony, staring at you for a long while before sitting on the ground next to your chair. He grabs your hand on your belly and rubs it gently- with so much affection you feel like he’s a different person.

“Y/n.” He looks up at you with his big, dark eyes. “It’s scary.” He pauses, being unusually sensitive. “I can’t wait for the baby. But I need you right now.” He seems very out of his element, he’s not exactly the type to share his emotions. Though he can tell he needs to put himself aside for the well being of his future wife and future child. “We’re going to get through this together.” He nods to himself, and places his cheek on your hand, “You don’t have to do this alone. You have me now. I apologize that I have not been doing my best for you- but we’ll do it.”

He stands up, bringing you with him, pressing you against his chest. He holds your head against him, then pats your head gently. “We’ll set a schedule. We’ll eat together at every meal. I promise to be here now.” He begins playing with your hair and wraps an arm around your waist, “It’ll be just like training.”

You tilt your head up to him and frown at the training part.

He stutters and says, “No, it’ll be a process.” A sign of small smile makes it’s way onto his face, “Our baby will be just fine.”  

Illumi has never shown you such a sensitive side of him and you begin to wonder if he’s gone through this too. Either way, his comforting head pats and warm chest are enough for you in this moment.

Hisoka

Sometimes your boyfriend could be just so oblivious. He always cares and pays attention to you but sometimes things go over his head. He equates your morning sickness which is just dry heaving with being dehydrated. Though maybe telling him would just make it easier. You’ve been telling Hisoka that you want to get better. You’re tired of this burden on you constantly. Tired of food looking like poison. He’s done his best to help you. Though he’s somewhat lost in how to do so.

He loves you dearly and honestly how much he loves you sometimes scares you. You try not to think about what lengths he’s gone for you.

Hisoka is laying in bed, shuffling cards and twirling them on his finger.  He’s quite good with his hands. Quiet music plays from the radio- some new hip hop hit. He averts his eyes from his cards, to look at you. It’s been a month and it’s about time he knows why your belly has a small bulge- it not being from you eating better or more.

You spit it out- wasting no time and getting to the point. “I’m pregnant.” You close your eyes, as if scared he’s gonna lash out or break something. But none of that happens, it’s silence.

You peek one eye open to see him doe eyed, caught in head lights. The cards fall out of his hands. He clears his throat and fixes his face, “Come here baby.” You obey him and sit down next to him on the bed, he pulls you onto his lap and holds your face in his hands.

“I wish you told me sooner. I could have prepared.”

Eyes begin swelling in your eyes and he once again looks stunned. You burst into tears and hold onto his shirt, nuzzling your head into his neck. Through broken sobs you manage to say, “I’m no good as a mother. I can’t take care of it! I’m no good Hisoka- what if I kill it? I’m no good.” Sobs rack your body, leaving your trembling against his own body.

Hands grab your shoulders and he pushes you up, then wipes the tears from your face. “You’re perfect to hold a baby. What is it you’re worried about?”

You begin to hyperventilate after you have no more tears to cry. Through each breath you gasp out, “I’m... too... small... what if... I have a...” At the mere thought of your next words your heart begins pounding, “Miscarriage?” You let out one last sob of a word, “I can’t feed me and my baby...”

He shushes you and pushes some hair behind your ear, “Oh honey. You’ve been working so hard on getting better. You’re sick and that’s okay. We just have to work harder? Right?”

Nodding but you still can’t control your breathing, he says, “Come on take a deep breath.” Listening to his directions you do. “It’s gonna be alright. You’ll be a great mother. You work so hard. We just have to keep pushing.”

You nod, and collapse against his chest and whisper, “Is the baby going to be okay?”

“Yes, and so will you.”

Chrollo

Once the both of you found out you were pregnant, it was pure confusion. You were taking contraceptives and Chrollo knows how much you don’t want a baby right now. It was a long conversation you had when you got contraceptives. Despite wanting a child, he wanted nothing more than you to be happy and healthy. It’s been months, four months to be precise. You lost 3 pounds in that time no matter what you did. You just couldn’t make yourself eat and when you did you felt terrible, guilty.

It was mealtime, all though you haven’t eaten at mealtime in weeks, Chrollo keeps trying. He made a light salad, with tomatoes and olives, that’s all. He knows how the sight of big meals only discourages you.

He steps around the table with a small plate in his hand, and sets it in front of you. A small plate with a few bites of salad. It should be easy. But it’s not. He kisses your forehead and sits on the other side of the table. A candle is lit and a single rose is in a vase. He tries to make every meal seem like a feast but lacking the food. He has a normal size bowl full of salad and he smiles at you from across the table.

“Time to eat.” He takes a bite of his salad- not pressuring you in any way to eat. The plate itself is enough pressure. You pick up the fork like you’ve practiced so many times and stare at the green leaves beneath you. The fork picks up a single leaf and you bring it to your mouth, opening and hesitantly placing it inside. Chewing is almost the worst part- but the worst part is swallowing. You swallow the leaf and look up at Chrollo. You can tell he’s trying to mask his excitement as not to overwhelm you.

The most you manage is another six single leaves, and a single, half cut cherry tomato.

You look up to him once again, shame taking over you, “That’s all I can do...”

His eyes go wide and you wonder if he’s upset that you didn’t keep going. Instead he leaps out of his chair and around the table. He picks you up into his arms and spins you around while laughing. He gently places you back down on the floor and can’t contain his smile.

“Oh darling you’re doing so great. I’m so proud of you.” Tears being to prick at your eyes when hearing his words, “You’re so good, let’s try again tomorrow okay?”

He squeezes you tightly and shakes you side to side, “You’re just so wonderful. I’m so proud.” No one has ever said they’re proud of you besides him. It’s such a blissful sound to your ears.

[straykidsworldwild]

Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 2 (1/2) : MC goes to work and a certain boy comes to meet her for lunch.

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Heyy guys! Here's a piece of part2. It was too long to put the whole thing on Tumblr at once (apparently) so I had to cut it in half 🙈 (2/2) is coming!!

(I just made the collage. Credits go to the creators of Duskwood and the owners of the pics.)

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I slowly wake up, feeling and hearing something buzzing. With my eyes still closed, I slide my hand under the pillow next to mine to grab my phone. I hate waking up by alarms… It feels like I am being cut in my sleep. And I’m not going to lie… I love my sleep just as much as I love food. Who doesn’t? I open my eyes and turn the alarm off before quickly closing them again. I didn't sleep well last night… When I went to bed after texting Phil to tell him I got home fine, I couldn’t stop thinking about the discussion we had at his bar. Was I right to say “yes” for lunch tomorrow noon? Was he being serious? Is he playing a game? Am I falling in his net? I don’t know and I think that’s what terrifies me with him. I just don’t want to be his next hookup… If I start something, it’s for a serious relationship, not to play around. That’s not my thing. But that’s exactly what Phil does so… I guess I should just trust a little more myself. Anyway, that was just the first part of the night, because the next part, all I could do was think about my uncle. Every time I closed my eyes, I just recalled amazing moments with him. Moments that mom, he and I won’t ever have again… I laid on my back, on my sides, on the side… And I did this over and over until managing to fall asleep.

I turn on the lamp on my nightstand when I hear my phone suddenly buzzing again. But I turned it off… Oh! I grab my phone and answer the call after looking at the I.D. caller.

- Hey, mom, how are you? I just woke up… I tell my mother with a still sleepy voice as I sit on the side of my bed. The light is still too much so I close my eyes for a few seconds more. Suddenly, a noise coming from behind the phone call catches my attention. It’s not a noise I am used to hear her make... Mom? I call her with some concern.

- “He's gone…” I hear her simply whispering through the phone as another sound catches my attention again. Sobs… Mom is crying. I’ve heard my mother crying before. It’s so… Strange and heartbreaking. I mean, mom has always been that strong figure, fighting everyone coming in her way or in mine… But she never broke down before me.

- I know, mom. I'm so sorry. But… I begin to respond calmly, keeping the pain to myself. I’ve never heard nor seen my mom crying in my life. She’s all I have as a family and hearing her in such pain… It’s heartbreaking.

- "Can you come over today? I'll need you to finish the preparation of the funeral. I can't do this alone. And..." She interrupts me, sounding overwhelmed and submerged. I lower my head and keep a desperate sigh inside of me. I wish I could already be next to her and tell her to not worry. That she doesn’t have to do anything. That I will take care of this for her. But I can’t because of my dumbass boss… Unbelievable...

- I'd love to, mom, really. But I have to go to work, I begin to say, sounding sad and sorry for not being there for her. I hate it. I feel like I’m betraying my own mother. That I’m not giving her the support she needs right now. And maybe the one that I also need... But she knew uncle Alex for longer than I did so it’s fairer that I should be there for her... But once I'm out, I'll stop by your house to come help you, okay? So I can see you a little bit too, mom. I should finish at 3p.m. today, if my boss doesn't think otherwise, I tell her gently. Though, an unsure point is heard in my voice. We never know with my boss… If he had a bad day, he is capable of giving you two extra hours to do just because he wanted to.

- "You know, your uncle was always there for me. I remember when we were kids…" I frown with sadness to the sound of her voice. It’s broken… She sounds empty. Out of life. "There was this horrible kid terrorizing the youngsters. I was one of those kids being terrorized, but of course, as my big brother, he protected me. He always did. He was really protective, you know?" She recounts me in brief words with a trembling voice. I know the story by heart. Uncle Alex used to tell it to me as a bedtime story. He was the hero of course. I never doubt that… I hear mom sniffling and letting another sob out. "So was he with you, baby. He loved you as his own, you know?", oh… When she said "baby", her voice just completely broke. I could barely hear it. I continue to look down as I feel a lump forming in my throat. I miss Uncle Alex like crazy... "And he did the same when your father left..." She admits to me, going to the topic about how my uncle was protective. Which I already knew as well... It honestly hurts to hear all of this so soon after his tragic death. I still haven’t digested it. It’s still not real to me. I still think I will see him today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... But it seems to make mom feel better by saying those words to me, by recounting her memories. So, I'll listen carefully. Or I'll try, at least… If I don't break before too. Her pain is so profound… And shared.

- Mom, you don't have to tell me all of this now. Let some time pass. It's hurting you, I say with a slight pleading tone, hoping she will listen to me. I know it's hard to not think about it or to not want to talk about it. But I just think it's too soon for her. And for me... She can't turn the page in a finger snap. It’s impossible. Even if she feels like she did or she has to do it, it might not be the best way.

- "I love you, MC. You're my baby girl." She says over the phone, sniffling sadly again. I nod even though she doesn't see me. I am staring at the floor, my sight being blurry. Not again...

- I love you so much, mom, I reply to my mother, controlling my voice as much as possible despite the tight ball in my throat. She doesn’t need to know that I’m about to cry too. I hear her sniffling behind the phone call again followed by a new sob. I can't… Look, I have to go, mom, but I'll come see you later today, okay? I'll come with a little surprise, I tell her gently, wanting and feeling the need to cheer her up. I just want my mother to be happy again.

- "A surprise? You know I don't like surprises much, MC.", She replies with a mix between her crying and a faint chuckle before reminding me how she has always hated surprises. I know…

- That's why I'm bringing you one, I answer to my mom, cracking a smile to the sound of her faint chuckle.

- "You're a little Devil, just like your uncle... What's the surprise?" She begins to say before pausing. It's true, I got a little bit of him too. I guess it's because he sort of raised me and because I'm a (l/n) as well.

- Mom, if I tell you there would be no point for me to call it a surprise, wouldn't it? I answer with a gentle and playful tone before giggling. I hear her crying turning into giggles.

- "I tried. Okay, go to work, baby, and... I'll do a few things here... I'll try. Oh, and I ordered the flowers you asked me to pick for your uncle." She responds with another small chuckle before sniffling one more time. I smile a little more, glad to hear that I managed to make her smile a little bit despite the situation. She ordered the flowers… My smile grows a little more, glad about this news.

- Okay, call me if you need me for anything. Doesn't matter if I work or not, okay? I love you, mom, I reply sincerely to my mother, giving her a little cheerful tone.

- "I will. I love you too, baby. See you later.", She says back to me, sounding a little better then when I answered the phone. I smile and wait a few seconds before hanging up. Right… I feel like I have another long day coming… I let a long sigh out, as if I am trying to get rid of a weight on my shoulders, before wiping the tears in my eyes. Well, I've got to get ready...

Almost an hour later, I am on my way to work. Like every day, I see the same streets, the same cars, the same shops, the same streetlights… Of course, I am not going there with an ounce of motivation. I’d rather stay home or go anywhere else, but not there. I’m not saying being a waitress is the worst job, but my boss and some clients are actually really hard to deal with. Anyway…

I rapidly reach the back door of the restaurant I work at and enter the building which leads to the kitchen. The cooks and the waitresses are all here, ready to work. Oh, almost… I hold the door for Angie and she runs in, thanking me at the same time. We exchange a smile and get ready to start working. The clients should start coming soon… It's been three months since my boss decided to expand the restaurant to include a little coffee shop. I think it was a good idea, a good change in Duskwood. It was a test at first to see if people would like it. The clients seemed satisfied so that’s why I am here so early every morning now.

- MC! I look up immediately after hearing a gravelly voice yelling my name. My boss walks briskly towards me, a frown of madness plastered over his face. As usual... What time does my watch indicate? He asks me while showing me his watch on his right wrist. What…?

- 8:01am.? I answer, not sure where this is going.

- You were supposed to be here at 8:00a.m.. Not at 7:59a.m., not at 8:01a.m., but at 8:00a.m.! Is it so hard to understand in your dummy brain? He tells and asks me with madness, actually scolding me for arriving one minute late. As always, he raises his voice while talking, making sure everyone can hear who is commanding here. I guess you see what I meant when I said that I wasn’t very motivated to come to work...

- I'm sorry, boss, I simply say as I don’t want to argue nor lose my job. Well, it’s mainly that I’m not up to an argument right now… I have other things to think about. To worry about.

- Don't. Since you came late, you'll go home late. You're finishing at 6p.m. today, he tells me with a correcting tone, looking down on me. He’s joking, right? 6pm?

- What? You're making me do three extra hours for one minute late? I demand him with disbelief as I’m getting upset.

- And you're not paid for those, he points out seriously, still speaking as loud as before. Not paid?! Better and better...

- Sir, I can’t work extra hours today. I have to go see my mom this afternoon after work. My uncle passed away yesterday and I have to help for the funerals and… I explain to my boss with seriousness, going up against him. I mean, I can be shy and quiet and all, just don’t take me for an idiot or play with me.

- That's not a valuable excuse. Get to work before I change my mind and actually fire you for rebellion, he orders me seriously and sternly. Right… I look down, not responding to not receiving any consequences later. Everyone, back to work! he screams to all of his employees before walking away to do his life. Dick!

- Don't listen to this cold hearted dick, MC, I hear Angie telling me as she comes to stand in front of me. She’s a little taller than me. If you need to leave, then do. I'll cover for you. I knew something wasn't right yesterday but we barely crossed paths so I couldn't ask you what was wrong. I'm really sorry about your uncle, MC, she apologizes sincerely to me as she puts her hand on my shoulder. Angie is one of the only workers I get well along with here. Yeah, nothing goes well in this restaurant… It’s sad because it could have its potential. I smile at my friend while weakly nodding.

- Thanks, Angie, I thank her sincerely as I place my hand on top of hers. She smiles and nods back before the two of us take separated ways to go do our work.

The morning passed pretty quickly to be fair. I prefer when it’s like this. Working and watching the time pass is one of the worst feelings. There were so many clients this morning that I didn’t have time to get bored. It’s actually pretty rare that there are so many people coming in the morning. I mean, it’s still a little buzzy usually but not this much. I hope that will put my boss in a good mood and he’ll kind of forget the late minute thing this morning… Right, even I don’t believe this… I take the plates and cutleries that customers have left to clear the table. I clean it well and let other customers settle in. The noon hour and 1pm are the worst. There is often a line of customers waiting for a table but it goes on pretty well usually. Anyway… It’s time for my break. I put the dirty dish and cutleries in the bassin which is on a cart to later go to the kitchen.

- Hi, I turn around to look at the person who is not so unfamiliar to me, I'm looking for a pretty (h/c) with crazy (e/c) in which you would easily get lost in. Have you seen her around? says and asks me, a man, using a flirtatious and slight playful tone at the same time. I smile and softly laugh while nodding.

- Yeah, I think she went back to the kitchen a little while ago. But I don’t know where she went after, I reply playfully to my friend as I point towards the kitchen. The man softly laughs back before passing his hand in his long hair which isn't in a ponytail or a bun for once. How dare he look so good?

- How are you, Gorgeous? Asks me gently, Phil, as we are facing one another.

- I’m good. I have the same problem as last night, but I’m good. You? I answer with a very faint sigh as I keep a small smile before asking him.

- I'm good, thanks, he responds, having that damn smirk in the corner of his lips. The two of us stare at each other for a little moment, a smile on our face. I can’t really explain why or how, but seeing him here, now, like we said last night, makes me happy. So, is it still on for having lunch together or...? He asks me, a point of nervousness heard in his voice. He isn’t sure of himself which is so rare to see.

- Yes… I begin to tell him before hearing a gravelly voice calling for me.

- MC! I turn around and see my boss approaching us. Oh… No time for talking! Get back to work! He tells me harshly in front of Phil. Oh God… So awkward! I know I have said stories to my friends about my boss, but none of them actually saw the man talking to me that way. And I wish it wouldn’t have been Phil seeing and hearing him talking to me this way. What is he going to think?

- You're seriously letting that dumbass talking to you this way? I hear Phil whispering lowly in my ear. His deep voice echoing in my ear… He sounded like he couldn’t just believe what he just heard. Oh but it’s real, Phil… I live it every day like all the employees here.

- It's almost 1p.m., sir. I'm on my break… I begin to respond to my boss, not forgetting that I actually want to get out of work at 3p.m and not 6p.m. I still have hope… A faint one but, it’s still there.

- Break? He repeats my word with disbelief as he is standing right before my face now. No break for you today. Come on, move! He exclaims, speaking with a mad tone as usual. If I didn’t know him, I would think he actually hate me. Which might be the case… It’s not possible to scream so much on someone without reasons, right? Ugh, is that guy ever happy? Or just calm?

- Hey! I hear Phil’s loud voice coming from behind me before I could say anything to my boss. I slightly widened my eyes in surprise as I didn’t think Phil would say something. She's your employee, not your stooge! You should watch it! He tells him with a warning tone which I’ve never really heard before. The only time I heard him using this tone was when one of his regulars overstepped the line. I look on my left as I see Jessy’s brother standing next to me, slightly getting before me. Oh… He looks so mad.

- And who might you be to talk back to me? Questions, my boss to Phil. Oh no… I glance around us and notice that customers are staring at us, watching the scene. So awkward… Before Phil could do something or say a word, and mostly before it goes too far, I grab discreetly Phil’s wrist. He doesn’t move nor look at me. My boss is still staring at Jessy’s brother. He is not pleased at all...

- Look, sir. She's been working since 8:00a.m., and it's 1p.m. in less than five minutes. You can't take off her lunch break just because you're her boss, it's against the law. But if you think you are above them, maybe we could stop by the police station to see who's right? Responds calmly and politely, Phil, all while still having this warning and serious tone. I’ve always been amazed by how polite he can stay despite the circumstances or the situation. I mean, it’s easy to lose control due to anger, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he fights.

- 30minutes. No more, tells me, my boss, reluctantly giving me a break. Thanks to Phil… I nod positively before he turns around and leaves us at a quick pace. Phil turns around before looking down at me.

- Thanks, but you didn't have to do that, Phil, I thank him with a small shy tone, yet, thankful he actually stepped in for me.

- I did and I wanted to. But honestly, that guy deserved more than just a "talk", he replies with sincerity and seriousness. While talking about my boss, I could hear the madness in his voice. I nod understandingly as I give him a small smile, appreciating it for standing up for me. It’s not every day it happens. Come on, he suddenly tells me with his infectious smile. I don't answer. Instead, my smile grows wider while the two of us walk through the restaurant to reach the outside. Oh, he has a bag! How did I not see it?

[giggleandtears]

Crimson Renegade, Part 3

What it feels like to match wits (With someone at your level) 

Summary: Danvers and Kirk enjoy winding McCoy up

Pairings: OC/Jim Kirk(Platonic), OC/Leonard McCoy(Eventual Romance)

A/N: If you haven't seen Star Trek Discovery season 2, Pike makes it well worth it. ;-)

Enjoy!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Guiding me to the closest patient area, McCoy offers his hand to assist me in sliding onto the bio-bed. Jim quirks a brow at the chivalrous gesture but McCoy has already turned away to gather a few supplies for the exam. When Jim saddles up beside him, my mind runs wild with comparing the two men. Though they are roughly the same height, the air that surrounds them couldn’t be more different.  

Jim’s flaxen hair, crystal blue eyes, and perfectly chiseled jawline, screams fairy tale prince more than captain. Unless you use Captain Pike, circa 2250, as a barometer. Jim’s the type to whisk you off for an idyllic weekend getaway in a cabin, nestled between snow-capped mountains. A roaring fire would await, champagne chilled and at the ready. I think Dr. McCoy would take a slightly different approach. The fire would remain, as would a refreshing beverage. But replace the champagne with bourbon laden hot chocolate. The cabin would stand resolute against the onslaught of swirling flurries, having been built with the strength of his bare hands. Jim and McCoy are two sides of the same coin but only one is commanding my full attention.

"Ok, what you playin' at?” McCoy whispers to Jim, like salt through a grinder. It’s not standard practice for the captain to escort an uninjured crew member to the Med-bay just for a friendly hello. Jim looks on in unabashed amusement and lets McCoy continue his tirade. “We almost got shot to tarnation and you’re here to introduce a woman? Good god man! Have you no shame?” He says in a huff, gathering and regathering the same tricorder and PADD. “Are those boots even regulation?”

“They are.” I chime in sweetly, like honey flowing fresh from the comb. The boys slowly turn at McCoy’s covert mutterings being so easily overheard. “But the tights sadly are not, yet.”

Walking over to me, McCoy places the PADD beside me and can’t stop his eyes from wandering down. Under further inspection, my boots are indeed regulation, stopping just above my calves. The tights, however, are of my own design. Dark mesh blends expertly with my boots before shifting into a less opaque hue, coming to a point over my knee. Tracing McCoy’s gaze downward, I completely understand why the higher hemline of my dress uniform and the illusion of knee-high boots leaves the doctor’s mouth a bit parched.  

Clearing his voice before he continues, McCoy begins to run the tricorder around my head, then on a steady path from my forehead to abdomen and back. “So, what brings you to our favorite tin can in the sky?”

“I'm working on a new shield prototype with Scotty. Can't steal your head engineer, so here I am.”

“At least he's not on that ice planet anymore.” Jim says, with a nearly imperceptible shiver.  

“You always say that, but I had fun on Hoth.”

Shaking his head, Jim snorts wryly. “You’re about the only one.”

McCoy raises his brow at the name, no doubt never hearing of that planet in any star system. Sadly, that also means his knowledge of historical fiction is sorely lacking. How it’s not a more beloved genre is beyond me. Jim mouths ‘You don’t want to know’ to McCoy and lets it drop.  

“Keenser’s hooch always kept me warm. And what else do you really need besides that and good company?” I say. “Besides, it never seemed to be as cold as everyone whined it was.”  

A small smile highlights McCoy’s handsome features as he continues my scan. Although the warmth of his smile is unmistakable, the delicate lines around his eyes seem to narrate a tale of inner weariness. Something tells me coffee, a nap, or even a stiff drink couldn’t lessen whatever’s weighting on his shoulders.  

Returning to the conversation at hand, McCoy’s asks about my position on the Enterprise. “If you're a commander, doesn’t that make you chief engineer?”

“A commander is usually the head of a department. If Scotty needs me, I’ll be there to lend a hand but the prototype is my first priority.”

McCoy hums lowly in understanding, although his gaze has been diverted. He's concentrating deeply on the tricorder in his hands. After each tap of the device, his expressive brows grow closer and closer together.

“Something wrong?”

“Yea.” McCoy begins in a huff. “This darn thing is on the fritz again. I tried a few tricks Scotty taught me but nothin’s workin’. I assumed you were human and bypassed the initial scan but that didn’t help. You are human right?”

“To my knowledge, I am. Is trans-species a thing?”

“You’d be surprised.” McCoy says wryly. “All I got was you’re alive, but a bucktooth gopher in a melon patch is less obvious than that.”

I fail at holding back a snort.  “I have absolutely no idea what that means but it was certainly entertaining.” Offering to take a look, I extend my hand. “Let me see.” The blueprint for each circuit board and screen readout, run through my brain with ease. Fiddling with the small piece of technology is as natural as breathing.  Feeling the heavy gaze of a man no more than 2 paces away from me, is not. Widening his stance, McCoy impatiently crosses his arms after I open the back of the tricorder. I don’t think my brooding companion takes kindly to anything impeding his work, especially a pesky piece of equipment. “The circuits and connectors are in perfect condition, not charred or corroded. So, it must be a programming issue.” Replacing the back of the tricorder, I widen a few scan parameters and disable a couple more, then hand it back to McCoy. “Here, try this.”

After restarting the scan, the familiar steady beeps resume.  

“Well how ‘bout that.” McCoy says, with quiet astonishment. “How’d you know to do that?”

Swinging my legs like a schoolgirl, “Engineers are more than contraband and a good time, Dr. McCoy.”  I say, with cock my head and a cheeky grin. “Or haven’t you heard?”

“I’ve heard a lot of things but that don’t make’em true.”

Leaning the tiniest bit forward, “Is that a challenge?”  

McCoy meets my eye with a sumptuous quirk of his brow. “Only if you can deliver.”

A smile slowly spreads across my face. His steady gaze is electric, sending waves of heat to tickle my skin. Neither of us is backing down. With each passing millisecond something becomes abundantly clear; I am in trouble. Jim clears his throat, breaking us of the spell neither of us intended to cast. Honestly, I forgot Jim was even here.

Leaning back, I straighten my spine and clasp my hands in my lap. Professional as always. “So, did your scan turn up anything interesting?”

“Yea. Are you always this hot?” McCoy asks innocently, without any trace of innuendo.  

This is just too easy.  

Before I can reply, McCoy corrects himself.  “Is your temperature always this high?”

He’s learning  

“Yes. My temperature is usually above average for most humans. 99.3 to 102.4 is normal for me.”

“That’s oddly specific.”

Smiling, “I thought doctors liked specificity.”  

I expected to hear a smart quip but it never comes. McCoy’s face has grown dark.

“There’s also a fair bit of pressure at your temples and occipital lobe.”

Jim stiffens, instantly on alert. A nervous stab blooms in my stomach. I just got here. I can’t be grounded already. McCoy places a calming hand on my shoulder but addresses Jim. Silently they spar, only using their expressive eyes to communicate. I can read Jim like a well-trained empath but McCoy is a completely different beast. The altercation only lasts a few seconds but the decision is final.  

Jim sighs and stuffs his hands roughly in his pockets. “I’ll be right over there, ok?” After nodding, he saunters up to nurse and starts a friendly conversation. Jim manages to only look back once, our concerned expressions mirroring each other.  

“If only he was as protective with himself as the rest of us.” McCoy says.

Smiling weakly, I hum in agreement. With an ever-increasing nervous energy, I pick at the jagged edge of my thumb nail. I’m willing the pressure in my head to subside before McCoy takes the tricorder to me again.  

As if I'm a doe in a wooden glen that’s easily spooked, McCoy speaks much softer than before. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the pain?”

I rub my forehead. “5, maybe.” Even to my own ears, it sounds more like a question than an answer.  

McCoy stares at me disapprovingly. Maybe I don’t have as good a poker face as I thought. He asks how long I've been having headaches and if they make my duties more difficult. I have to think back but it's been over 6 months. I can handle the pain but the dizziness that sometimes accompany them is harder to shake off. I've been found in a dark supply closet more times than I care to count. McCoy bobs his head with each detail I recount, though his lips remain pursed. He picks up the tricorder once again but decides to hand it off to a passing nurse.  

“Do hypos help with the pain?” McCoy asks. Vigorously rubbing his hands together, he steps forward. Meticulously, he feels around my throat and neck.  

“Only for a few hours.” I answer honestly.  

“What did your last physician say about them?”

“Since I could still fulfill my duties, not to worry until that changed.”

McCoy’s hands still. Exhaling harshly, his nostrils flare. “What kinda bonehead, idiotic...” With a sigh, McCoy calms himself. Letting the matter drop, he continues his exam. McCoy softly eases my head to the side to rest in his large palm. His nimble fingers purposefully flutter up and down the tendons in my neck, even into my shoulder blade. When he tilts my head back, I can’t help but stare. McCoy is so, determined. It’s as if my pain and discomfort are the only thing important to him. For a moment he closes his eyes to concentrate more intently on what he feels beneath his fingers. Smiling to myself, I close my own eyes before I’m caught.  

A slight sting radiates at the base of my neck where McCoy was focusing his attention.  His deft fingers and what I suspect was a sly hypo start to alleviate the pressure that’s been building for hours. Releasing a heavenly sigh of relief, I slowly blink open my eyes. Having them closed for only a few short moments; my lids have become quite heavy.  

McCoy tips my head back with a knuckle under my chin. When my eyes catch the light, he inhales suddenly. “Well I’ll be-.” He whispers, astonished. He slowly moves forward as if an invisible string is pulling us together. I’m enveloped by his impressive stature. His warmth seems to seep into my every pore and somehow, I already know I’ll miss it when he moves away. A sly smirk creeps onto my lips when McCoy’s eyes round in amazement. Imaging myself through his eyes is intriguing. Warm brown eyes of amber with flecks of maroon. It’s a fairly typical combination in this day and age, except they weren’t always like this. The longer the light shines in my eyes, the red specs bend and shift until it nearly overtakes the brown. I found the change to be off-putting at first but I've grown to like it.

McCoy leans in closer and cocks his head to the side. “Retinal morphic photoplasia.” Taking a pen light out his pocket and sweeps it over my eyes. “With a nearly a 47% increase in your concentering rate. That’s mighty rare.”

I shrug nonchalantly.  “Yea. It’s just one of my many tricks.”

McCoy smirks until he realizes how close he is to me. His hand has inched up from my neck and is cradling my cheek in his palm.  Clearing his throat, he gently guides my head down and releases me. Dr. McCoy returns to his PADD, tapping harshly. His faced is etched in frustration as he mumbles to himself. I sigh inwardly. I miss the teasing back and forth, the banter. I’d even settle for Mr. Grumpy Pants.  

I speak as light and airy as possible. “So, am I dying Doc?”

“No!” McCoy says, jerking upright. “Why would you go and say somethin’ like that?”

“Because you're looking at my readings like I have the plague.”

“Now that would be a magic trick, since it's been cured for over 600 years.” Sighing, McCoy places the PADD down. “I’m just not too keen on mysteries in my Medbay.”

McCoy explains my scans are in normal ranges, though a little odd. The headaches could be stress related but he’s concerned about the duration. Since I can't think of any triggers and I couldn’t have come into contact with any alien contagions, McCoy decides to take a few samples and run some more extensive test.  After getting a nurse up to speed, McCoy gives me some very pointed instruction.  “Tell me immediately if the headaches get worse. It doesn’t matter if you can still do your duties.”

“Sure thing, Dr. McCoy.” His name rolls easily off my tongue. However, McCoy’s pinched expression looks like his mama forgot to sweeten his lemonade. “Did I say something wrong?”  

He shakes his head ‘no’ but doesn’t offer any further explanation for his sour expression. I’m starting to think maybe that’s just his face.  

Shaking it off, “So, am I good to go?”

“Yes ma’am. No palpations, fever, or hives to speak of.” McCoy drawls.  

Smiling, “Great!  Thanks Doc. I'll try to keep it that way.” Hopping off the bio-bed, I look around the Medbay.  “Now where did my escort get to?”

“Jim,” McCoy says, hollering over his shoulder. “Don’t you have a ship to run?”

Jim says a few last words to an utterly bewitched nurse and walks away. He leisurely walks over, smiling to himself. “So, what I miss?”  

“I don’t know. Home trainin’?” McCoy says, dismissively. I snort softly into my hand and McCoy rewards me with a small smile. But Jim’s piercing gaze is squarely on McCoy, waiting for my results.

McCoy answers simply, all joking aside. “The commander is cleared for duty-”

“Glad to hear it!” Jim says. His jovial-self returning.

“And she knows where to find me if that changes.” McCoy gives me another pointed look for good measure.  

Inwardly I chuckle to myself but stand straight at attention. I give the doctor an emphatic though comical two-finger salute. I know we haven’t had an active military in centuries and technically McCoy and I have equal rank. But he understands me nonetheless. Or I should say we understand each other. If my condition changes and I don’t tell him, he will hunt me down and there will be hell to pay. McCoy nods curtly, satisfied with my answer. After a beat, his eyes soften and the corner of his mouth lifts just a touch. Relaxing again, I smile in return.  

Jim sees our mostly silent exchange and shakes his head. He looks like the cat that caught the canary and I’m not sure I like where this is headed. “You know I always thought you two would get along.” Jim may be right but that doesn’t mean he has to point it out. “You never let me have any fun.” Oh, how I wish that was true. “Both of you can drink me under the table.” True. Jim pauses for good measure. “And you both hate people.”

And there it is.  

Sighing, I pinch the bridge of my nose.  

“For Christ's sake-” McCoy growls.  

“I do not hate people!" We say in perfect unison.  

Slowly, McCoy and I look at each other with the same horrified expression. Brows in our hairlines, eyes bugging out and mouth agape.  We even mirrored each other’s tilted head. Neither of us know how to address what just happened, so we quickly act like it didn’t. McCoy becomes intensely interested in his PADD and I kick myself at falling for Jim’s bait so easily. His smirk is already insufferable but I do address his previous assertion.  

“After an 8-hour shift, who wants to be around people that can't hold a conversation, let alone a drink?” I ask rhetorically.  

“Couldn’t agree more darlin'.” McCoy says, clearly on my side.  

Trying to bite the inside of my cheek does little to disguise my smile. “Thank you.” I’m not sure what garners my appreciation more, his immediate understanding or being called darlin'. I haven't been called that particular term of endearment since I was a child. Oddly, I’m not averse to it. Especially coming from the doctor’s lips.  

“Wait,” Jim interjects, “are you finally admitting there are people you don’t like Commander?”

“Yes, and you are quickly becoming one of them Captain.”

This is quickly ramping up into a tit for tat situation and McCoy is having none of it. “Jim, can you let my patient get a hot meal before you start up again?”

Snickering, I mouth ‘Thank you’ and head for the door. As the doors slide open, I stop and look behind me. Jim is slowly walking with his back towards the door, whispering something to McCoy. I don’t know what he’s saying but McCoy crossed his arms in a huff. “Jim, you coming?” Jim turns smoothly on his heel, not missing a beat. The moment Jim’s back is to McCoy something peculiar happens. His arms drop and he … chuckles. His broad shoulders gently shake until he sighs to himself. For a moment he stares into space. The makings of a smile start to form-

“Danny, you coming?”

Jumping slightly, I turn towards Jim’s voice. He’s mere inches from my ear. After scowling in his general direction, I try to get one more glance at McCoy but he’s already gone. We walk in companionable silence toward my quarters but Jim is determined to spoil it. He keeps smirking like he has a secret every time he catches my eye. Its driving me nuts.  

Exhaling slowly, I mourn my sanity. “I know you have something to say. Spit it out.”

Jim shrugs nonchalantly but smiles nonetheless. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just that you owe me a bottle of whiskey.”