#I've just been thinking a lot
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Thinking about my transition, and how when I started meditation, my mother was worried about the side effects. Specifically she stated that starting hormones my kill me, citing a study on middle-aged menopausal women, in an attempt to scare me off of transitioning, convinced it was a matter of me just needing a haircut(it wasn't). Anyways back to the point I was trying to make, would it be better to live as an empty shell, or to die as your self? Granted my mother definitely didn't see it that way, and the risk of death is low, but that's how I've been thinking about it. Can one not say living as another not a form of death, the death of the self.
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I'm very sorry to ask something like this, I've really been struggling with this question, and I wanted to ask the combined wisdom of the people on this site
I would like to know why you keep going, and what drives you to keep living. I know there are a lot of reasons to stay alive and enjoy life, I can think of a few that personally resonate with me, but I really want to know what your reasons are
You do not have to comment on this if that's too big of an ask, and I'm very sorry for asking something like this, I really need someone's help, I feel like I don't have much purpose
Also if I may ask, please don't post any suicidal ideation in the comments of this post, I really can't handle something like that right now
#I've been thinking about this a lot and it's been hard for me to deal with#I think I just want to be happy as many times as possible and I want to help other people feel happy as many times as possible#I'd really appreciate any help or advice that you have#Suicide mention#Tw//#Cw//
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high spice tolerance, my ass
(old man smut)
#storytime: I've been sitting on these drawings for months bc I wanted to write the interview and post them with it#but oh lordt it's an endeavor and a half bc the questions they ask on that progrum are incredibly unique and precise#I'd have to think up a lot of lore#and research a ton of stuff for the replies#and also I'd have to think up AU sean hotones but that's easy I'd just give him a full head of hair#I have ONE question and answer written down and maybe one day will write more who knows#he's one of the bitches to bring in a friend (emotional support husband & bestie stepkid who squats in his NY place anyway)#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#act verse#old steddies#man's 90% eyeball 10% scribble tattoos
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i'm so glad to finally see them with their aces in pokemon masters 😭
#pokemon#submas#ingo#emmet#these alts are ruining my life btw i think i genuinely like these outfits more than their normal ones. like they are SO cute#also slightly embarrassed because i posted the WIP of this on my main blog and like#i forgot that names show up in the tag even if you don't JUST tag them#like if i tag a post as ''i've been drawing a lot of submas lately.. i just like ingo and emmet they're cute''#it will show up in the hashtag ingo hashtag emmet hashtag submas tags. it's humiliating#so sorry if you've already seen these 😭😭
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i'm in one of those phases where i really wish i believed in manifesting and spellcasting and things like that bc you know when you want something so bad you're literally praying for the universe to let it happen
#ramble#this is not me judging by the way i think it's cool as fuck i just don't do it personally#context: a lot of my 'dream jobs' are now just 'ways to make money that i might not absolutely hate'#but i have one (1) legit dream job and it's literally FINGERTIPS away from me right now#i feel like most people who know me can guess what it is and know how badly i want it#i'm not even letting myself daydream about it or talk about it too much because i'm so afraid of not getting it and being disappointed#and also i don't want to like. jinx it#i've tried so many times before but this is the closest i've ever been and i feel SICK i want to bite something
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personal Rain World designs for fun
#rain world#five pebbles#looks to the moon#I was forced into this#I've been thinking a lot about how the similarities between the Ancients and the Aztecs#the iterator naming conventions are pretty similar to Nahuatl#I think the names are just literal translations of components of the word#art#fanart#rain world art#rain world fanart#rain world iterator#gijinka#character design#artists on tumblr
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hiii im sure you’ve answered this before but in regards to your twst x Pokémon, how do you choose which Pokémon go give to the cast?? really curious since your choices are unique :O
unique in a good way, I hope? 😅 (jk jk I haven't come across too many pokemon AUs, so I was going in without preconceptions, I guess!) I was sorta aiming somewhere between doing, like, a full AU with internal consistency and everything, and just picking entirely based on theme/character, so maybe that's why! basically I just set some arbitrary rules (no legendaries/no repeats/evo stages based on year) and then went on ~vibes~. a couple were also suggestions (thank you guys!) and last-minute decisions, so it was a bit of a delightful mess of ideas!
my one regret is that I should have given Riddle a Togedemaru after all. ...you know what, he can have one now, why not
#art#twisted wonderland#pokemon#poketwst#okay i have one other correction to make#which is that i think vil should also have a garbodor#NO LISTEN#i have thought about it a lot but i just do not want to give him a milotic#and this is because -- now hear me out#neige would actually be the one with a milotic#(it fits his personality more and it's even in his colors!)#when they were kids vil had a trubbish and neige had a feebas and vil felt superior until the whole milotic thing happened#and he's secretly kind of bitter about it#but he also secretly loves his garbodor a lot and gets mad when people make fun of it#IS HE NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF THEM#also garbodor ferments poison inside of it! it would be the perfect alchemy assistant!#I'M RIGHT OKAY#(i am also a big fan of trubbish/garbodor and i don't personally think they're ugly anyway)#anyway enjoy this drawing because it completely exploded my computer#(it was not the drawing's fault it was just unfortunate timing)#i've mostly got things working again but oof. it's been. a day. 🙃
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Hi. Hello. I'm Sydney. Family style?
#the bear#thebearedit#syd x carmy#chef's kiss#a decision to include this scene#and say it's platonic ok#i've just been thinking about them a lot#jeremy allen white#ayo edebiri#tvgifs#cinematv#cinemapix#tvcentric#tvfilm#tvsource#flashing cw#eye strain cw#eye strain#*#gifs
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honestly, it always baffles me how everytime we hear about someone doing the most depraved and inhumane things imaginable, that person is somehow always a man......... like when we hear about someone that uploads videos of animals being brutally tortured, it's always a man. or when we hear about someone who was arrested for having 2 terabytes of child pornography, it's always a man. or when we hear about someone who murdered a random woman that they know nothing about, it's ALWAYS a man, but that's not the part that baffles me, the thing that i'm confused about is how people continue to insist that men aren't the problem. like do u honestly think it's a coincidence that all of these horrible crimes are mostly committed by men?? even if u believe that it's not all men, u have to ask yourself why it's ALWAYS a man. at this point it's just denial. why are people ignoring something so obvious just because they're afraid of offending males?? even 10 year old boys are becoming rapists and it just doesn't make sense to act like it's a problem with humanity when it's really a problem with men.
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oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!
Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?
#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#Club penguin#ask#I've drawn a lot of strange crossovers for MDZS but this one really takes it up a notch#I saw this ask and thought “yeah why not. I've been meaning to do style studies. Let's experiment.”#And the moment my pen hit my tablet I was struck by the need to make it even worse.#Perhaps I am just nostalgic for club penguin and pengu but I think there is something magical about them holding hands.#Anyways I think younger WWX would have loved club penguin. It's the joy of the minigames and hanging out with your friends online.#Lan Wangji could never get past the fact the 'Ask your parent/guardian!' part of registration.#Either because he knew Lan Qiren would have said no *or* because he asked once and got turned down.#Lan Xichen probably was like 'Hey I can help you with that :)' to which LWJ said no because that was breaking the rules.#But if I *had* to put wangxian in a club penguin AU? Yeah 1000% it's LWJ as a mod and WWX as a notorious (nootorious) griefer.#WWX would be trying to speed run how fast he can get banned or how much he can get away with.#Getting removed and returning over and over earns him the 'necromancer of CP' title in the community. Loathed by many.#Meanwhile LWJ is about to seriously consider doxxing this guy just to get him to stop making his volunteer hobby less of a nightmare.#Cue 10 years later. They meet up on the ice flow on the last day before the servers get shut down. They have a genuine heart to heart.#Three years later on Club Penguin rewritten: two grown men decide to relive their childhood one more time.#Fate draws them to the same server.#I ask again. Do you think love can bloom on the digital sea ice?
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I know some dickheads have now decided that Judaism is the "bad, violent, terrorist religion" and Islam is the "good, peaceful" one, which is only to be expected of white people, but how much of an issue is it currently? Like I've seen some USAmericans sharing how the Islamic faith shapes Gazans values and perseverance (good) except with that distinct white hippie "I'm about to imprint on this like the world's most racist duck" vibe (bad), but I didn't think they're already turning on Judaism in numbers.
Do they realize that Christianity is also the same kind of comfort to Christian minorities in Asia and Africa? That it was Buddhists that genocided the Rohingyas in Myanmar and Tamils in Sri Lanka? That Hindu fundamentalists are even now trying to ethnically cleanse Muslims in India? How Hindus and Christians are terrorized and persecuted in Pakistan? That Muslims have a history of persecuting and ethnically cleansing Jews too?
Really tired of asking y'all to be normal about people's religions man. There's no religion that's inherently violent or exceptionally peaceful. It's just like any other ideology that becomes a weapon in the hands of ethnic power. Interrogate power, not religion, and respect people's belief systems insofar as they aren't in your business.
Edit: I've amended the "long history" of Muslim persecution of Jews because it might be misleading in the current political climate. Zionism and antisemitic Arab nationalism are twin births resulting directly from Christian colonization, and Islamic empires tended to actually be more tolerant of other religions compared to Christianity, especially Judaism, which was considered a sibling religion. Antisemitism wasn't ideologically entrenched in Islamic tradition. It's simply that ethno-religious power will lead to ethno religious domination and intermittent cleansing of minorities, and Islam is no exception. Humans be humaning always.
#Edit: please boost the edit#why can't white people just be fuckin normal for once#tbh this site was so weird about Judaism that it felt almost culty#I had several crises about whether I was being antisemitic before I realized no I'm just reacting to the idealization-demonization binary#that seems to be all western leftists know how to do#white queers are the worst about this#and now some of the asks I've been getting gives me the impression that the west thinks ''Islamist'' is some kind of dangerous cryptid#y'all attach insane levels of importance to people's choice of headgear#the only common denominator of all the Muslims I know is their fixation on biriyani idk#a lot of white lefties just want to use religion to distance yourself from your white privilege#same reason as why communism is so attractive to you#y'all want to share in a legacy of oppression because it's easier than self-reflection and unlearning#antisemitism#anti Zionism#Islamphobia#philosemitism#white queers#western leftists#racism#religious fundamentalism#genocide#religious violence#knee of huss
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Once again I bring you some Eriks 😊
#The Phantom of the Opera#Phantom of the Opera#poto#phantom of the paradise#time princess#erik#yes I'm playing time princess just for him listen...#it is very cute#I also wanted to draw him with cat eyes because Leroux makes it sound like he has them with the perfect night vision and glow and color#and his whole little meow meow personality and Miette way of speaking it just feels correct#also that one cover#and Winslow because potp is great and I think hes neat#I may do another one of these just so I can draw Cherik because I miss him#I've been neglecting my asks!! I'm so sorry I'll get to them soon I just haven't been online much..like this whole year#so I'm falling behind and catching up gets increasingly more overwhelming#this past few months have been stressful I've been waiting on a lot of stuff to fall into place and I have no control over any of it#so I just draw Eriks#aaaaaa anyway enjoy#my art
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many many isabeaus... and some sloopis's of course :^) !!!!
i like consolidating my doodles so that's probably what i'm going to do for the most part from now on (^^ゞ!
#i've been having soooo many feelings about isaloop#god i love them sm#first image is just them. also loop helping with isa's dysphoria a bit teehee#i think they bond a lot over having Changed in a large capacity#and they help each other when they feel any sort of disconnect with their body#isa is a little meaner around loop.. maybe...#but in a lighthearted way! i think that's just the effect loop has on others LMAO#and also like. sometimes u just gotta get the hater out of u#and isa's unending kindness makes loop more willing to be nice sometimes too !#me when... two people rub off on each other and balance each other out.. UEAUGH#second image is ans manga redraws#just being self indulgent and combining my favorite ot3s LOL DW ABOUT IT#but also. siffrin is prince zen; loop is obi; isa is shirayuki i take no criticisms#based more on their dynamics with e/o than perfect personality match!#last image is just isa being cute he is very cute#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat isabeau#isat loop#isaloop#sloopis#isabeau#siffrin#loop#loop isat#artilite doodle#artilite
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#vampire hunter d#vhd#art#D the horseman of death (〃‿〃♡)#Hello Hello I hope you're all doing well 🥹🥹#Sorry that I only draw D haha I can't help it (❀ •̀ᴗ•́ )♡#I started Tyrant Stars recently and I finished gold fiend about a week ago?#Honestly I miss the stories where D would stay in one town in the entire story and be a little detective#since pale fallen angel it's been a lot of traveling ....🥲#and it will never not be funny to me that D has pockets full of dirt 😭 D take a shower man.... or wash your clothes please💀#2 versions because as much as I like white hair D he looks like alucard here because of the gold accents ( •_•)#I've never actually watched or played any of his games idk it does interest me? but not enough to sit down and watch it yet#I wanted to experiment with a black out style ( I tried incorporating red but I got too annoyed.#I intend to render it at some point!#so it might end up looking completely different#well...If I get myself to complete this and I like how it looks in the end I think I might make a little bookmark out of it for myself (〃‿〃#I think it would be neat...#....you see me drawing poppies a lot forgive me 💀They're just my favorite flowers💀 The symbolism works out for this drawing....
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adam parrish + the potential for villainy
maggie stiefvater, the dream thieves⎮interview with bugs by @nutnoce⎮unknown source⎮maggie stiefvater, the raven boys⎮@veniennes on tiktok⎮maggie stiefvater, call down the hawk⎮warsan shire, souvenir⎮unknown source⎮art by @gender0bender⎮maggie stiefvater, blue lily, lily blue⎮clarice lispector, the hour of the star⎮art by @heavensghost⎮maggie stiefvater, call down the hawk
#who had me returning to raven cycle posting on their 2024 bingo card#web weaving#parallels#adam parrish#trc#the raven cycle#ronan lynch#pynch#also want to clarify that i am not judging mr adam parrish he is so beloved to me#i've just been thinking a lot about how maggie said draft one of raven boys adam was supposed to become a villain#and how easy that would have been#n e ways#sorry there are unsourced things i'm trying my best#the dream thieves#blue lily lily blue#bllb#call down the hawk#cdth#the dreamer trilogy#sofia posts
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A Linked Universe meets The Dark Crystal AU! I don't even remember what started it at this point. I remembered that the Dark Crystal and Age of Resistance are things I like, blinked, and woke up three days later with an AU and a bunch of art.
The designs and the story are a wip and for fun so expect a lot of variation! (I have a few different beginnings, ideas for different designs, etc)! :D
In addition to #linked universe I'll be using the tags #the dark crystal lu au and #courage of the dark crystal!
#linked universe#tdc aor#the dark crystal lu au#courage of the dark crystal#lu au au#lu legend#lu hyrule#lu four#lu wind#I've made an au of the au I've gone too far help help-#I gotta get better at drawing gelfling! Their facial structures are very distinct#ALSO I went really big with the ears here lmao#the hugest ears ever seen on gelfling#TRANS ROOLIE TRANS ROOLIE TRANS ROOLIE YIPPEE!!!!#I drew this last month (except for Four) sO HAPPY PRIDE! Roolie gets WINGS! :D#I'm SO pleased with Wind's design! he's a lil fishy! and Four with the horned headband/armor in place of the lil ups in his bangs#gonna try to put the aureyal or symbol of the conjunction and triangles on all of them#IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE AU PLS ASK THEM#I'd love to tackle some worldbuilding mayhaps?!#I'm thinking of placing them somewhere before the first battle of stone-in-the-wood in the arathim wars#or after the events of the comics with Kensho and Thurma somewhere#and just figure out another reason for the crystal to be shattered. so many possibilities!#where's the crystal shard this time and how can I split it between them? >:3 niiiiine shards made whole >:3#quest for the ~~triforce~~ crystal#Hello from summer camp also! Lots of shenanigans!#I'm surprised I was able to draw Four at all last weekend I've been so busy!!!#having fun tho!!! we're having a lunch cookout at archery and campfire is tonight!!! It's going good! see ya!!!
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