#I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime lol

[ketchup-chup]

Arcobaleno Real Names

Just some personal headcanons as to what the Arcobaleno’s real names are. 

This does not include any of the Sky Arcobaleno since those can already pass as real names I believe.

Reborn:  Renato La Rosa

Lal Mirch: Lalita Russo

Colonnello: Marcello Colton (Credit: @alternativeann)

Verde: Raphaël Auclair

Skull: Vitaly Andreev

Viper/Mammon: Silas Grace

Fon: Zhou Fēng (Zhou being the surname)

Reasons under the read more!

Reborn: I mostly chose Reborn’s name because I do really like the fanon name but wasn’t a huge fan of the last name Sinclair for many reasons. Thus, I wanted a last name that not only flowed really nicely with Renato but was also Italian. I decided on La Rosa in the end, since it’s a common last name in Sicily (according to my research, but please do correct me if I'm wrong), where I headcanon Reborn is from, and also Renato La Rosa just sounds so nice.

Lal Mirch: I really wanted to keep the Lal part of her name intact and always pictured her as at least half or mixed but not fully Italian. I imagine she goes by just the nickname Lal as she was tired of people butchering her name (and as someone with a “foreign” name I very much relate).  I also have the headcanon that all CEDEF members use code names with the theme of spices and herbs, which is why she would go by the name Lal Mirch. As for her last name? I just thought it flowed well…

Colonnello: The account @/alternativeann made a post about Arcobaleno names as well, and they gave the name Marcelo Colton to Colonnello and I absolutely loved it. I hope they’re okay with me using it as well, since it just suits him so well. I also love the idea he’s part American. 

Verde: Another first name I had contemplated going with is Victor but Raphaël won me over in the end. Like many others, I do go with the idea he’s French, specifically from France. And no offense to the French, but he fits the pompous, and rude stereotype they have.

Skull: Vitaly because it means life! You get it? B-because he’s the immortal stuntman… Maybe that’s a bit of a stretch, haha… I'll admit the last name is chosen completely at random. Oh, but someone on discord mentioned to me that they’ve seen Vasya used for Skull and I like that one a lot too!

Viper/Mammon: Essentially, my thought process was that, since Mammon is a biblical figure (not the KHR character but the actual Mammon), I should pick a biblical name for their real name. I’ll admit this now though, I grew up Buddhist, so I’m not the most familiar with the bible… For the last name I decided to make Mammon English and once again play into the biblical theme. This is the one I struggled with the most, so if anyone has better ideas please let me know! Fon: The exact characters are 周風, Fēng just being an alternate Romanization of Fon. It’s still the same character used and, since Fon also works as a name, I could see him just going by his given name. As well, because I'm a little split on the idea of him originally being part of the Mafia (or Triad) before he was cursed. I could also just see him being a famed martial artist or civilian of some form.

Please do let me know if you think any of these are horribly inaccurate or have mistakes!

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

anyway I'm literally just here to enjoy my boys and have fun, so that is what I will continue to do 💓✨️

[redwinterroses]

just gonna throw this out there: I'm blocking anyone who is toxic about the Author Who Must Not Be Named during Impulse's No Kid Hungry stream tomorrow. Yes, there are legitimate reasons to blacklist/ignore/boycott her and her series. No, doing so will not positively effect the charity stream.

If you don't want to watch/don't want to participate, that's absolutely your prerogative. But do not be obnoxious and attempt to fansplain to Impulse in chat or @ him on twitter. He's aware. He's discussed the reservations on stream. He's decided to go forward with the event anyway because he believes in the charity.

Hungry kids are more immediately important than the long, slow, uphill climb against that particular monolith, and in this specific case there is nothing to be gained and only legitimate harm to be done (to the stream donations, to the mental health and stress levels of Impulse's mods who are already dedicated to deleting toxic comments, and potentially to the No Kid Hungry charity) by spamming chat or trying to get #neg discourse trending on twitter.

Don't be puritanical about this. It's okay to disagree with an aspect of something and still understand that good is being done -- and that, frankly, activism in this particular time and place would do more harm than good.

A possible compromise? If it's a genuine concern that you feel strongly about, make a donation to No Kid Hungry. Usually there's a place to include a message. Mark it as DNR (do not read) and express -- politely -- that you have concerns about this connection and would really like to see it not repeated in the future. Don't write an essay. Don't be rude. Simply express your opinion, donate your money to a good cause, and move on with your life.

[lancermylove]

Pickup Lines (HC)

Fandom: Obey Me

Pairing: DB, Royals, Simeon, Solomon, Thirteen with gn!Reader

Warning: Corny? Lol. Minors don't look under the cut.

Prompt: Which pickup lines would he use for you?

———————————————

Lucifer

"Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?"

“If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print."

"Are you a dictionary? Because you add meaning to my life."

Mammon

"Hey, are you a bank loan? Because you've got my interest, and I can't help but want to invest in you."

"If beauty were money, you'd be the richest person alive."

"If looks could buy, you'd bankrupt me in an instant."

Levi

"Are you a rare drop? Because ever since I met you, I feel like I've found the ultimate loot."

"Are you a cheat code? Because meeting you feels like I've unlocked a special power-up."

"If love were a game, you'd be my final boss."

Satan

"If you were a cat, you'd be a purr-fect 10."

"Do you believe in love at first chapter? Because ever since I met you, I can't stop thinking about the next page of our story."

"If you were a cat, you'd definitely have nine lives because one lifetime wouldn't be enough to spend with someone as special as you."

Asmo

"Are you made of diamonds? Because you shine brighter than any gem."

"Are you a mirror? Because when I look at you, I see the reflection of my dreams."

"If beauty were a crime, you'd be serving a life sentence."

Beelzebub

"If you were a fruit, you'd be a fineapple."

"If you were a cookie, you'd be a fortune cookie, because meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Are you a campfire? Because you're hot, and I want s'more."

Belphegor

"Are you a dream? Because every time I'm with you, I never want to wake up."

"Are you a cozy blanket? Because being with you feels like a warm hug."

"If sleep were a journey, you'd be the sweetest dream I've ever had."

Diavolo

"Are you a rose? Because just like its petals, your beauty is timeless and enchanting."

"If you were a kingdom, I'd gladly pledge my allegiance to you."

"Are you a royal decree? Because you've commanded my attention since the moment I laid eyes on you."

Simeon

"If you were a star in the sky, you'd be the most radiant one, outshining all the others."

"Do you have a map? Because I seem to have lost my way, and you're the only one guiding me towards the light."

"Are you a sunrise? Because every time I see you, you bring a new dawn to my day."

Barbatos

“I couldn't help noticing how captivating your smile is. It brightens up the entire room."

"Are you a puzzle? Because I'm intrigued by the challenge of figuring you out."

"If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber."

Solomon

"Do you believe in magic? Because ever since you walked into my life, it feels like you've cast a spell on me."

"Are you eternity? Because with you, every moment feels like it lasts forever."

"Are you a scientist? Because you've just discovered the formula to my heart."

Thirteen

"Are you a lost soul? Because you've wandered into the realm of my heart."

"If you were a dessert, you'd be the cherry on top of my day."

"Are you a cupcake? Because you're cute, sweet, and I can't get enough of you."

N.SFW/heavily suggestive under cut!

Lucifer

"Are you a teapot? Because I'd love to steep with you and pour out all my secrets."

Mammon

"Are you a stock market? Because every time I think of you, my investments just keep rising."

Levi

"Are you a controller? Because I'd love to be in your hands."

Satan

"Are you a book? Because I can't seem to put you down, and I keep wanting to explore every page of you."

Asmo

"Are you a work of art? Because I can't help but admire every curve and contour of your beauty, and I'd love to explore you like a masterpiece."

Beelzebub

"Are you a marshmallow? Because I want to roast you over my fire."

Belphegor

"Are you a bed? Because I'd love to climb on top of you."

Diavolo

Dinner first, or can we go straight for dessert?

Simeon

Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?

Barbatos

"Are you a baker? Because you've got some buns that I'd love to knead."

Solomon

I’m not feeling myself today. Can I feel you instead?

Thirteen

"Are you a rainstorm? Because you make me wet.”

———————————————

➣  Please visit my website for the full masterlist!

[nerdygoth77]

Some of my favorite Porter Gage lines!

“Keep your irradiated ASS away from me” 

“Boss”  

“Piss me off and I’ll still kick your ass from here to the Atlantic.” 

“Sure was fun! Huh Boss?” 

“I ain’t got the brains for mazes” 

“How's it go? “This town ain't big enough for you and me?” Awh nevermind :(“ 

“Ain't no way people paid for this shit, I refuse to believe it.” 

“Who the hell's idea of fun was this shit?”

“Ever feel the tiniest bit hurt that the institute hasn’t tried to replace you with a synth? I mean c’mon! I’m important. I-I’m worth replacing......” 

“Think about it…. If beer is still good after two hundred years.. Is it really something worth drinking?” 

“Personally, wouldn’t ever trust anyone to knock me out with gas or whatever, even if they claimed they were going to help.” 

“Can you imagine… having so much extra shit you’d need someplace to store it all” 

“Not paying ATTENTION-” (I fuck up a lot and trigger traps LOL)

“Not a big fan of being underground, so the sooner we wrap this up the better.” 

“Once upon a time, I suppose folks had nothing better to do than sit around outside”

“Greeaaat, because I ain’t seen enough trees and grass.” 

“Like I hadn’t already seen enough glowing shit to last a lifetime.” 

“Believe it or not, this is more civilized than some places i've lived”

"One of these bugs ever takes me down you tell people I died from trippin’ over my gun, fallin’ off a cliff, anything! It would be less embarrassing.” 

“Places like this….Makes me realize life was mostly shit before the bombs fell” 

“God…. Being in here is soul sucking.” 

“I hope you know where you’re going, I forgot my map.” 

“Least we ain't gotta worry about being hit by a train…..Right?”

“No question that shit was made to last…Maybe the wrong shit but still.”

“Me? I like night time. Something about it just feels right.” 

“You’re a real stunner, ya know that?”

“Are you shittin’ me” 

“Ever seen a dust angel? Bettin’ I could make one.” 

“Shiiiiitt I hate getting weeettt” 

“I’ve got a strong stomach, but ewwugh.” 

“You’re my kind of crazy boss.” 

“Boy do I love watching you work.” 

“Anyone ever tell you….your ass looks great in that vault suit.” 

“Don’t know about you, but I can’t see in the dark.” 

“You’ll always be the overboss of my heart- Hehehehe I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t keep a straight face.”

“Blamo” 

“Sheeeeeettt” 

“Don't mind me, just throwing up a bit in my mouth here.” 

“Damn, I hate insects. Like I needed something else to wipe off my fucking shoes” 

“VerMIN”

Everything. Just everything he says is wonderful. His voice is so fucking sexy.

"I'm not that big of a dick"

"Bullshit. Without me I'd be scraping your guts off the floor"

"Before you start pissing all over the plan, why don't you take a minute to hear me out."

"You ready to listen?"

"You're one ruthless son of a bitch aren't ya?"

"Awwwhh C'mon :("

"Just give this a chance, you might even have a little fun."

"Tell yuh whut."

"Everything all peachy with our friendly neighborhood psychopaths?"

"Welcome home, boss."

"I knew you had it in you."

"Next, the fun stuff."

"You look like shit."

He refers to getting high as "Getting blitz." LOL

"Well that oughta make things more interesting"

"hehehe OOPS."

"The fun we can have in this thing!"

"That one have pictures in it?"

"I like a good haul as much as the next guy-"

"You sure you got everything? There's a few more rocks you haven't picked up."

"I never had the hands for that kind of shit. Glad you do."

"You got some nimble fingers there huh?"

"You okay?" (When he shows concern?? UGH)

"Well now, would you look at that."

"Oh for the love of-"

"You gonna build me something nice?"

"Lookin good, Boss."

"oooh, gutsy."

"Pretty tough mutt you got there." (Any dialogue about Dogmeat is great)

"Aww, look at how nice and clean this is, and I here am, dirtying the place up." (one of my favorites)

There's so so many more but I didn't want this to get crazy long

[stwritings]

I've Got You

Synopsis

Eddie helps reader through a bad trip after she's pressured by her boyfriend to take drugs.

What To Expect/Warnings

This is a rather heavy topic and potentially triggering to some so please proceed with caution. ♡

This fic takes place in 87 and has no mention of the plot from Season 4, apart from Eddie graduating. Also was not expecting it to be this long lmfao, woops. No use of y/n, toxic relationship, drug use, peer pressuring, bad drug trip, anxiety, hurt/comfort, confrontation between Eddie and reader's bf, angst, mutual pining, emotional cheating if you squint??, descriptions of drug side effects, alcohol consumption.

Let me know if i missed anything.

(proofread in a very sleepy state lol, dont mind potential spelling mistakes of repetitive words/phrasings)

Once again, i can't stress this enough, please do not read this fic if any of the above mentioned topics are triggering to you. ♡

You can read pt. 2 here!

"This year's different. This year, is my year. I can feel it... '86 baby!"

And that, it was.

Things finally seemed to be taking a turn for the better in Eddie's life. That year, he geared down and put all of his time and focus into his school work determined not to spend one more second in what was, in his opinion, the most dreadful place in town; Hawkins High. Graduation day finally came and as promised to his fellow Hellfire Club members, who all attended the ceremony, he gave the performance of a lifetime on that stage. 'They can't get me in trouble anymore.' he thought as he shredded an air guitar whilst sprinting towards the faculty, hollering as he did so. Once he was face to face with his long time nemesis, Principal Higgins, all of the cleverly thought out disses he had come up with over the last year seemed to fade away. He blamed it on nerves, but deep down he knew that his distain was overshadowed by an immense sense of joy and relief. To everyone's surprise, Eddie calmly grabbed his diploma with a mischievous smile and exited the auditorium gracefully.

'Finally, a new chapter can begin.'

_

After some much needed time off in the summer allowed him to contemplate his next move in life, Eddie started applying for jobs around Hawkins. His preferred establishments such as the library and record store were, unfortunately, not hiring. Despite the tried and true efforts of his friends at Family Video, they too, were not in need of new employees. He contemplated sticking to his main source of income, but knew that the drug market in Hawkins was not a sustainable nor stable option. Truth be told, he only started dealing as a way of making extra cash whilst still in school. He grew tired of it pretty quickly, but promised himself that the second he would graduate, he would ditch this unconventional side hustle.

His new objective was finding work that would allow him to make enough money to find a place of his own. As much as he loved Wayne and was forever grateful to his uncle for taking him in, he couldn't stand to see him spend one more night on the dreadful pull out mattress.

After weeks of grueling efforts on Eddie's behalf, Wayne came home with some good news one Saturday afternoon. With a hiring flyer and about 8 bags of groceries in hand, he nearly kicked the trailer door down from excitement. "Eddie! Boy, you home?"

Eddie quickly shuffled out of his bedroom to see what the commotion was about. Noting his uncle's erratic breathing and bulging eyes, he was quick to grab the grocery bags out of his hands to allow him to catch his breath.

"Everything okay?" he asked cautiously, unsure what had his normally calm uncle so frazzled.

Wayne waved the flyer into the air and let out a series of chuckles. "More than okay, look what they had hangin' on the wall near the checkout at the supermarket!"

As Eddie turned to face the piece of paper in his uncle's hand, a grimace started to form on his face when he processed the words written on it. "Ah man, i don't know. I'm not really skilled in the art of packing groceries..."

"Come on now, son. You already know the basics, where do the eggs go?"

Eddie stared blankly at his uncle while blinking slowly. Wayne blinked back at Eddie theatricality while motioning for a response.

"Uh, in the bag...?"

"Where in the bag, boy?" his uncle persisted, his once excited tone now slightly annoyed.

"Maybe on top so they don't get broken...?"

"See! It's common knowledge. You could also stock shelves or somethin if you don't wanna pack the bags!"

"Yeah, it's worth a shot, i could use the money..."

_

Come to find out, the supermarket was in dire need of staff members, and Eddie got the job that same day. Given that the entire store was understaffed, he was able to snag his preferred position of stocking shelves. The uniforms weren't great, and having to hear the same tunes everyday was somewhat unbearable, but the money was good so he couldn't complain.

A few weeks into his new employment, Eddie was introduced to the newest addition to the team. Given that she was also put in the stocking department, they spent much of their time working together and got along great. They would often joke around together, their sense of humor practically identical. Along with her kind and rambunctious personality, they also shared common interests such as reading and music. She was the perfect girl, he thought.

Upon getting to know one another, Eddie quickly learned, much to his dismay, that she had recently moved to Hawkins with her boyfriend so he could be closer to his family.

Needless to say, Eddie's love life was never something he had the opportunity or desire to explore whilst in school. The lack of female attention and constant bullying made it difficult for him to find anyone he wanted to get to know in a romantic way. He was rather disappointed to find out that his latest love interest was already spoken for, but quickly accepted it as such.

This minor disappointment didn't stop them from blossoming a wholesome friendship over the course of the next few months. Their normal 7 hour work days always seemed so short, and Eddie was longing to spend more time with his new friend outside of their place of work. Unfortunately, the fear of rejection, accompanied by the constant sense of exclusion he had faced in his prior years had really taken a toll on his confidence, preventing him from ever seeking out friendships outside of his circle of friends.

Those thoughts and worries were momentarily silenced one Friday morning when, to his pleasant surprise, she enquired about his plans for the weekend. This wasn't unusual, they often spoke of their upcoming outings, but typically Eddie was the one to initiate this topic of conversation in hopes that she would suggest hanging out. The idea of potentially spending time together outside of work was thrilling, so he tried his best to play it cool. "A whole lotta nothing, how about you?"

"My boyfriend's colleagues invited him out to this party but i don't really want to go..."

"So you're hoping a conflict arises preventing you from attending this social obligation?" he quipped while smiling.

"Actually, i was hoping maybe you know the person hosting the party and wouldn't mind attending? It'd be nice to see a familiar face there when my boyfriend inevitably ditches me."

Her eyes met the floor as she spoke her last sentence, an action that didn't go unnoticed. The topic of her significant other wasn't mentioned often, in fact, most times Eddie forget she even had a boyfriend. Of the times he was passively mentioned in conversation, Eddie got the impression that he wasn't the nicest person and that she wasn't entirely happy with him. He tried his best to set aside those thoughts, thinking they were definitely biased and he might be reading too much into the situation.

"Does this mysterious party host have a name?" he said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Tom Silverman i think, have you heard of him?" she asked, hope radiating from her eyes.

"As luck would have it, he's friends with my buddy Gareth! I could probably make an appearance." he teased.

"Yeah? Think you could make time in your busy schedule for me?" she reciprocated.

"For you? Anything."

_

The drive back to her place felt like a blur. Her mind was clouded with thoughts of her earlier interaction with Eddie paired with the excitement of spending time with him later at the party. She loved her boyfriend, she really did, but...

She couldn't bring herself to say it, let alone think it. The reality was, he didn't treat her the way she wanted to be treated. Hell, the way she deserved to be treated. Prior to them moving to Hawkins, Samuel had cheated on her for months on end with a close friend of hers. The betrayal was unforgivable, at least, that's what she thought at the time. Samuel had a way of getting into her head, planting ideas of his own and spinning the truth in ways that would make her question everything.

Following the infidelity, he had managed to convince her that the best way to make amends and save their relationship would be to move away from their hometown. Far from all distractions so they could focus on rebuilding what was broken. This was far from what she wanted, now more than ever since meeting Eddie. He was always so kind to her, a luxury far too often stripped away in her current relationship with Samuel. She loved how she felt when she was around Eddie, even in their strictly platonic relationship.

The hypocrisy of the situation made her want to melt away into a big pile of nothingness. She could feel herself growing fonder of Eddie with each passing interaction, no matter how mundane they were. Something as simple as Eddie asking her about her weekend, or when her birthday was, warmed her heart. Did Samuel even care to remember? He forgot about it last year.

Guilt was eating away at her the more her feelings grew. She would never cheat on Samuel, knowing all too well how heart wrenching of an experience that is to go though. Despite that, she couldn't help the gnawing feeling of infidelity as she felt her feelings for Eddie become more prominent and the distance between her and her partner growing. It wasn't all her fault of course, she suspected Samuel was still up to no good whenever the phone would ring at odd times throughout the night and he'd shoot out of bed to answer it. She knew interrogating him was no use, so she kept mental notes of all the occurrences, in hopes of one day working up the courage to leave him.

Apart from him persuading her into staying, there was also the web of lies she felt she had to uphold to avoid judgement from her loved ones, Eddie included. She felt awful lying to him about the reason for her move, but at the time, thought it was necessary for some sense of self-preservation.

As she pulled into her apartment complex, her racing thoughts came to a halt. She put the car in park, let out a sigh and made her way into the building. Once inside, she was met with none other than Samuel, already plastered at 4:48pm, the party wasn't until 9pm. This would make for a long grueling night. She quietly greeted him before excusing herself to go freshen up.

Samuel's work friends arrived shortly after she got into the shower, the sudden ruckus alerting her of their presence. She hurried out of the shower so to not hog the bathroom for too long and tried sneaking into their shared bedroom without alerting the group. Her efforts were overshadowed by a distasteful comment made from one of the men. She wasn't sure what bothered her more, the unsolicited remark about her body from a complete stranger, or the fact that her boyfriend, the man who was supposed to look out for her, laughed and entertained such disrespectful banter.

The frustration made tears well up in her eye as she quickly shut the bedroom door and locked it, hoping she wouldn't have to face the men for a few more hours until they had to leave. All the while, the only thing keeping her sane was the prospect of seeing Eddie later.

_

Eddie was a bundle of nerves from the moment he clocked out of work until he pulled up to the party with Gareth. Six pack in hand, he nervously made his way towards the front door before being stopped by his companion.

"Hey man, there's nothing to be nervous about, alright? If you wanna leave at any point, just let me know."

Gareth's reassuring words did little to alleviate Eddie's stress, but it was still nice for him to know that he had support tonight. With that in mind, he gave his friend an anxious smile and they let themselves into party.

Upon first glance, the party was lively and everyone was having a great time. The pair made their way towards the kitchen to put their beer in the fridge, then made an attempt at finding the host to greet him. Eddie had never met Tom, but had heard good things about him through their mutual friend. Whilst on the hunt for him, Eddie's eyes made contact with a sad looking girl sitting alone on a dingy sofa in the back of the living room, red solo cup in hand. He excused himself from Gareth and quickly made his way over to his friend. The moment their eyes locked, excitement was riddled on her face. She jumped off the couch and embraced him in what was arguably the best hug he had ever received.

"You came!!" she exclaimed, visibly intoxicated.

"I'm a man of my word." he said in a playful tone, placing a hand on his heart.

She playfully shoved his shoulder while taking a sip from her drink, giggling the entire time.

"So uh, where's your boyfriend? Am i finally gonna meet the man of the hour?" Eddie's tone was less than enthusiastic, through no fault of his own. Luckily she was too drunk to notice.

"Well," she began, "as presumed, i have been abandoned. Yet again!" although she tried covering it up with a laughter, her eyes gave away her true emotion.

"Well," he said mimicking her tone, "i am more than happy to entertain you until he gets back."

He could have sworn he saw a faint tint of pink painted on her cheeks for a moment. A tender smile was shared between the two before he was abruptly shoved by an unknown subject who was quick to wrap an arm around her.

"Oh sorry man" the lack of sympathy along with his cocky grin gave away the man's identity.

Samuel.

"Don't sweat it, man." Eddie retorted, annoyance prevalent on his face.

She gave Eddie an apologetic look before introducing the two. Her boyfriend quickly brushed off the pleasantries and turned his attention back to his girlfriend.

"Where have you been babe?" he slurred, his hold on her arm becoming increasingly tighter. Her discomfort was clear and as Eddie was about to intervene, she calmly lifted his arm off of her while stating: "Waiting for you, babe." her tone replicating the one Eddie had adopted moments ago.

Samuel grew annoyed, muttering something under his breath before once again, disappearing into the crowd.

"He seems friendly." Eddie stated in an attempt to break the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry about him, he's... not the best at introductions."

"No kidding..."

Moments passed without further dialogue, Eddie debated mentioning his concerns but felt it wasn't his place. I mean really, how would he even put into words what he was thinking? 'Hey, you know that douchebag boyfriend of yours? Yeah, he doesn't deserve you'.

"Well," she broke the silence, "I better go check on him, will you stay a while?"

"As long as you need me" he responded.

She shot him a warm smile before venturing into the crowd to find Samuel. Eddie waited until she was outside of his line of vision before letting his smile falter. He quickly ushered to the fridge to grab a can of beer to calm his nerves. The rush of euphoria from seeing her accompanied with the displeasure of meeting Samuel left him feeling very disgruntled. He was zoned out, sipping the beer in his hands relentlessly, when he felt a hand tap him on the bicep. Turning his attention towards the person to his right, he was met with a familiar face.

"Hey, you alright?" Gareth asked, concern prevalent in his tone.

"Nah man, wanna go have a smoke?"

_

The initial effects of the alcohol she had consumed in an attempt to numb herself seemed to have faded away quickly following Samuel and Eddie's interaction. As much as she wanted to spend the night with Eddie and let her boyfriend mingle on his own, she felt obligated to go looking for him. The party wasn't held at a mansion by any means, but it certainly wasn't a small house. After searching for what seemed like 25 minutes, she finally found Samuel along with a few of his friends in a bedroom in the basement. Upon entering, the first thing she noticed was a dark green colored table with small plastic bags on it, filled with what looked to be pills. She was quickly ushered into the room and prompted to lock the door before being urged to sit down.

"Sam, what are you doing-"

"Babe, baby, hi!" his tone was drastically different from their previous encounter. He seemed much more erratic and his pupils were blown out.

"Are you okay? I've been looking for you-"

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm great baby. How are you?"

His frantic eyes and antsy demeanor, accompanied by the unknown substance beside him gave her all the context she needed: He was high. She contemplated her next move, being careful not to upset him.

"I'm fine," she started, "actually, i'm a little tired, i think i'm ready to go home." She knew little could be done to grant her wishes at this point given that she had had far too much to drink to operate a vehicle and Samuel was much less equipt to in this state.

"What... Really? No baby, the night's just starting. You're not having fun?" She was getting ready to answer before being abruptly cut off, his question apparently rhetorical. "I know what will help. Have this." He grabbed her hand and placed one of the chalky pills in her palm.

"I'm not doing drugs, Sam." she said firmly.

"Do you trust me?"

She paused, knowing this was a trap. This wasn't the first time he'd used this tactic to get her to do something she didn't want to. Her delay in responding seemed to aggravate him and he was quick to snap at her.

"Fine, go home then. I just wanted to have a nice time with you tonight. S'what i get for trying." He began shifting his body away from her, turning his attention back to the group.

Through no fault of her own, it had been hard-wired into her brain that in order to avoid an argument and mental torture for the next week, it was easier to agree with whatever he was saying.

"No, no! It's just..."

"You're scared?" his friend said while snickering.

"I've just never done this before..." she replied looking away so no one could see her anxiety ridden expression.

Samuel cupped her face with his hands, an act of intimacy he hadn't shown in years. She melted into his touch, craving to feel a sense of worthiness. "Baby, you'll be fine. I took it and feel amazing. We'll feel amazing together and i'll take care of you if you don't feel good. I promise."

Samuel had often made promises he couldn't keep, and although the little voice in the back of her mind was screaming for her to walk away, she fell victim to his manipulation once again. They exchanged a few promising words to one another before she swallowed the small narcotic, internally comforting herself: 'What's the worst that could happen?'

_

Following a much needed cigarette break and pep talk from Gareth, Eddie composed himself and entered the house once again. Once inside, he scanned the room in an attempt to spot out his friend, but was unsuccessful. He figured she might be using the restroom or mingling with people around the house and decided to enjoy his second and final beer of the night with Gareth.

_

20 minutes had passed since she took the unknown substance from her boyfriend, and up until this point, she had convinced herself that she probably wouldn't feel it, or that if she did, it would feel the same as marijuana. But oh, she was wrong. So very wrong. She noticed her heart began to beat faster and her palms were significantly more damp than before. She felt this overwhelming sense of anxiety wash over her and her ears began to ring. Still sat next to Samuel, she grabbed ahold of his arm in a subtle attempt at getting his attention. Whether he was too high to notice or purposely ignoring her, he had no reaction to her touch. Initially feeling embarrassment, she put that feeling aside and decided to vocalize her distress.

"Baby, i don't feel good, m'heart's beating really fast and-" words kept spilling out of her mouth at a much faster rate than she normally spoke. The chatter in the room never faltered, the noise adding fuel to the fire, making her anxiety worsen. Samuel eventually cut her off, insisting on the fact that she was fine. His invalidation floored her feeling of distress, her heartbeat increasing in speed. She could now hear it in her ears. "I don't like this baby, i wanna go home. Please, can we go home." she pleaded, tears starting to form in her eyes.

Samuel grew annoyed with her, his high being compromised by his girlfriend's distress. He offered to take her to a different room, away from all the noise and she agreed, the commotion from the room she was currently in proving to be too much. Luckily for her, there was an additional guest room in the basement, one that was currently vacant. The prospect of spending one on one time with her boyfriend, especially while in such a vulnerable state brought a great deal of comfort to her. That sense of relief was short lived as he stated that he wanted to get back to his friends, insisting on her trying to get some sleep.

Unbeknownst to her, the drug she took was a stimulate, making sleeping next to impossible. Information that Samuel conveniently didn't mention for his own benefit.

He tucked her into bed and promised that if she called out for him he'd be there within seconds. With a kiss goodnight and more reassuring words, he shut the light, closed the door and headed back to the adjacent bedroom to continue his antics. She was left with her wandering anxious thoughts, but tried her best to fall asleep.

After a short while, her attempts were unsuccessful and her anxiety worsened. She tried to calm herself down to no avail and resorted to calling for her boyfriend. No answer. She tried once more, this time a little louder. Still nothing. Time seemed to escape her. She wasn't sure if an hour or 5 minutes had passed. All she knew was that she had been calling for him for what seemed like forever, to no avail. The most hurtful part of it all was overhearing him talking and laughing with his friends in the adjacent room. Surely if she could hear him, he could hear her? Perhaps he was choosing to ignore he cries for help. The idea of getting out of bed to venture into the other room was far too overwhelming in this state, so she settled into bed, holding onto the sheets tightly and hoped that he would come check up on her soon.

_

With almost an hour having passed since he had last seen her, Eddie grew concerned. He figured with the amount of time that had passed, it wasn't unreasonable to ask the other party goers if they had seen her.

His efforts, although valiant, were unsuccessful. Once he established that she wasn't on the main floor, he decided to wander around the house in hopes of running into her. When he overheard Samuel and a group of men cackling in the basement, he made his way down the stairs.

Once he reached to bottom of steps, he noticed a source of light coming from a closed door, the secondary living room he was now standing in vacant and dark. 'Mystery solved.' he thought, she must be in there with Samuel and his friends. As he started up the stairs again, he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a faint voice coming from the back of the basement. He slowly made his way towards the unlit room and placed an ear against the closed door. That's when he heard it again, only this time, he recognized her voice, calling out for her boyfriend.

Eddie wasted no time opening the door, only to find her laying in bed in the dark. He carefully made his was towards her, crouching down to her level.

"Hey, hey. It's Eddie. Are you okay?" he gently asked. The only response heard was a series of whimpers. Once his eyes adjusted to the darkness, his heart broke. The light from the living room that leaked into the guest room reflected off of her tear stained cheeks and puffy eyelids; she had been crying for quite some time. Eddie wasn't an expert on body language, but judging from her tight grip on the bed sheets and her limbs curled into the fetal position, he could tell she was scared.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, you're safe. I promise. Do you need water? I'll get you anything you need, just tell me..." he stopped himself from uttering anything else, worried he would overwhelm her with questions. After pausing for a moment, he swallowed his pride before asking: "Do you need me to get Samuel?"

She let out a soft cry, her grip on the bed sheets tightening. The mere mention of his name reminded her of the betrayal she felt. He promised he would look after her, but didn't. Instead, he left her in such a vulnerable state, a state she never wanted to be in in the first place.

In her best attempt at composing herself, she was able to mutter out a sentence before her breathe hitched again: "I wanna go home, please." she buried her face in the covers as her body shook, a combination of crying excessively and the drug shaking her form. She was so cold, no amount of heat from the blankets seemed to help.

"Okay, okay, i'll get you home. Just... One minute. I'll be right back, i promise."

Eddie carefully got up and exited to room, gently shutting the door. He made his was towards the room Samuel was in, politeness the last thing on his mind as he barged in. He glanced around the room, noticing the drugs littered across the table, then met Samuel's gaze.

"Are you aware that your girlfriend is crying her eyes out 10 feet away from you?" he spat, shooting daggers at him.

There was a moment of silence, followed by snickering from a few of the men in the room. One of them who, Eddie could only assume was a friend of Samuel's spoke up. "Jesus, what a buzz kill, you owe me for that pill, Sam."

It all clicked. Eddie's vision blurred in what could only be described as a cloud of fury. The echo's of their laughter only fueled his rage as he started putting together what had happened. With every ounce of restraint he could muster, he gave Samuel once last death glare before storming out, being mindful not to slam the door to prevent startling her in the other room.

Slowly opening the door, he tried to come up with the best plan on how to proceed. The two beers he had drank over the last 2 1/2 hours were in no way enough to inebriate him and he knew she needed to be taken home. Once again crouched down by the bedside, he gently placed a hand on her shoulder and began speaking softly.

"Hey, it's Eddie. I can take you home, just need to know your address."

Her crying had subsided but she was shivering and grinding her teeth uncontrollably, a side effect Eddie recognized from whatever drug she had taken. Her lack of response prompted him to try again, this time in a much softer tone.

"Sweetheart, i'll take you home just please, i don't know where you live. Do you have your house keys? Where do you and Samuel live?"

The whimpers that left her lips broke his heart. Eddie figured if he couldn't get an answer out of her in this environment, maybe removing the stress factor would help.

"Okay, can you stand up for me? Here, let's get you up"

As he began helping her from the bed, her sudden exclamation startled him. "No! Please, m'really cold. I need a blanket." Distress painted across her face as she wrapped her arms around her frame, Eddie pondered what the best option would be. After a few seconds, he figured Gareth could deal with the repercussion of his next action later.

"Okay, come on, i've got you." he said as he gently wrapped the giant comforter around her shoulders, guiding her out of the room.

Once they arrived at the base of the steps, he grabbed the excess blanket that was previously dragging along the floor to prevent her from tripping. She was unsteady from the drug, her legs felt like they were made of jelly. Eddie helped her up the stairs, supporting the majority of her weight. Once they reached the main floor, he directed her towards the sofa she was sitting on earlier in the evening and helped her down onto the soft cushion.

"Wait right here." he said in a caring voice. As he began getting up from his crouched position, he felt a cold, damp hand grabbing his.

"Wait, wait, where are you going?" her voice was low but filled with worry. He turned to her, finally getting a good look at her face since being in the dark basement and his heart sank. He tried his best not to show any signs of concern, but this proved to be challenging. Her normally light hazel eyes were almost completely black. Her hair was disheveled and her face slightly puffy from crying.

Eddie had been around plenty of people under the influence before, but never anyone he felt such deep adoration for. It was torture seeing her like this. He once again crouched down so he could meet her eye level and gave her hand a gentle reassuring squeeze. "I've just gotta find Gareth to let him know i'm leaving. I drove him here, don't want him to be stranded. I'll be right back, i promise."

Her gaze softened a bit, and with a small nod, Eddie took that as a go ahead to proceed with his plan. He lifted her hand up to his mouth to give it a quick kiss before getting up to find his friend.

Luckily, with one quick sweep of the main floor, he was able to find Gareth and get him up to speed on the situation.

"What a prick, we should fight that guy."

"Yeah, normally i would agree but i gotta get her outta here. Are you cool finding a ride home tonight?"

"Oh ya, don't sweat it! I can always just crash here if it comes down to it. Get her home safe."

"Thanks man, i'll see you later."

Gareth patted him on the shoulder and with that, Eddie made his way back to the sofa. "Alright, let's get you home, yeah? Up you go."

Taking the same precautionary steps he did while going up the stairs, they made their way out the door to Eddie's van. He helped her into the passenger's side, carefully closing the door and hurried over to the driver's side. Once in, he buckled both of their seatbelts, started the car and began driving away. Once the car was nicely heated and her shivering had subsided, he figured it would be a good time to try to find out the location he should be driving to.

"So uh, am i going the right way? Do you live close by?"

He glanced over at her, smiling sweetly once they made eye contact. She returned the smile, but the sadness displayed on the rest of her features made her true feelings apparent.

"We're far" she mumbled, "i live next to work..."

Eddie sighed internally. He didn't mind the drive, he was more concerned about her having to sit in a car for 45 minutes. "Alright, i'll get us to work and you can tell me where to go from there, yeah? You have your house keys?"

She paused to think and let out a defeated breath upon realizing; their shared house key was kept on Samuel's lanyard. She brought her hands to her face in despair and began apologizing profusely. Eddie wasn't quite sure what she was apologizing for, or to who even. He softly put a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, gently moving his thumb over the blanket that was still draped over her.

"It's okay, look we're not that far from Tom's place. I'll turn the car around and we can get the key. I can go in, you don't even have to leave the car-"

She shook her head in quick motions, her hands dropping from her face suddenly. "No, i can't, i'm..." she trailed off, turning to face the passenger's window.

The silence was broken by small cries leaving her mouth. Eddie slowly pulled off to the side of the road and put the car in park so he could focus all of his attention on helping her as best as he could.

"Are you worried he'll be upset?" he began, trying to get to the root of the problem. His question was met with more tears falling from her eyes. Her breathing was becoming more erratic and her hands began to shake. Eddie was torn, he knew she desperately needed to get home, but at what cost? He couldn't live with himself knowing that once he dropped her off, she would be left alone to face that jerk again. He made a snap decision, once again choosing to deal with the potential consequences in the morning.

"Alright, let's go to my place for now. It's not that far from here and we can figure out what to do from there, yeah? Is that okay?"

In an unexpected turn of events, her crying stopped almost immediately following his words. "Can i please stay there tonight?" she muttered softly, eyes glued to the floor of his van.

She knew it might be asking too much, but the thought of facing her boyfriend tonight was too much to handle. Eddie's eyes widened, but he quickly composed himself before responding. "Of course, anything you need."

_

Obeying the rules of the road was out of character for Eddie, especially when it came to speeding, but tonight was different. He made sure to make the drive to his trailer as peaceful as possible for her, not wanting to worsen her distress.

Once there, he was relieved to see Wayne's truck was gone. At least she wouldn't have to worry about his uncle seeing her in this state.

He quickly hurried her inside and onto the sofa before scrambling around the trailer gathering anything he deemed might be of use. He came back into the living room with additional blankets, a glass of water and a can of soda from the fridge, setting them down on the table. He proposed switching out the blanket for a fresh one, doubting the cleanliness of the one currently wrapped around her.

"S'too cold." she slurred, grinding her teeth once again.

Eddie knew better than to try to rationalize with her so he thought of a solution that would make for the blanket swap to be more pleasant. He grabbed one of the blankets, walked over to the dryer and tossed it in. Making his way back to the living room, he picked up the can of soda to open it and slid closer to her on the table. "Here, have a sip, you must be really thirsty."

Up until he mentioned it, she hadn't noticed how dry her mouth was, or how chapped her lips felt. Now that she was in a comfortable place and felt safe, the fear and adrenaline wearing off, she was very aware of the physical discomforts she was feeling. She quickly grabbed the cup of water, opting for the least cold drink made available and downed the liquid within seconds. Eddie's eyebrows raised and he let out a small chuckle. She met his gaze with a shy smile, clearly embarrassed by the intensity of her gulps. Their exchange of grins was interrupted by a shrill ringing coming from the hallway; the dryer alerting them of it's cycle being complete. Eddie shuffled over to it, quickly returning to the living room with the warmed up blanket.

"Here, feel this." he started, placing a corner of the fluffy material in her hands "Nice and warm for ya. How about we get rid of that dingy old thing?" he said gesturing to the stain riddled comforter.

She agreed with a nod, preparing herself for the sharp cold she would feel once the blanket was no longer on her. Eddie attempted to make the switch as seamless as possible, quickly wrapping the fabric around her. Once the warm blanket was snug around her, Eddie lightly tugged on either side in a playful motion. Their faces were mere inches from one another, he wished they could stay this close forever.

"Better?" he inquired in a soothing voice.

She nodded in response. "Thank you."

He stayed crouched in front of her, his hands remaining on the blanket for longer than he probably should have. He scolded himself internally, before retreating onto the adjacent chair. She instantly missed his presence.

It was fairly late at this point, the clock reading 1:04am. Eddie knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep while the drug was still in her system, but offered to set her up in his bedroom, reassuring her that he would take the pull out bed, not wanting to cross any boundaries or make her uncomfortable. She pondered for a few moments before agreeing. They walked over to the back of the trailer, Eddie leading the way with the extra blankets in hand. He breached the entryway of his bedroom and thanked his past self for tidying up the mess that was littering his bedroom floor earlier in the day.

Once there, she took in her surroundings admiring all the art and little trinkets laying around. Eddie grew nervous from the extended period of silence and cleared his throat before saying "Is this okay?" referring to her sleeping arrangement for the night.

"S'cozy." she responded with a warm smile. She made her way towards the bed and plopped down rather sloppily, her legs still feeling like they could give away at any second. She settled into bed and he began turning off the lamps, pausing before switching off the last one.

"Want this one on?"

"Yes please" she responded quietly from under the blankets. She had the soft material pulled up to her nose and was laying on her side watching him maneuver around the room.

"You got it" he said, a dorky smile painted on his face as he turned to look at her. Despite still appearing strung out, Eddie was enamored by her. He always thought she was beautiful, her current state never wavered that. He thought she looked especially adorable all tucked into his bed, her eyes glistening with gratitude and what appeared to be admiration. She closed her eyes for a brief moment letting out a content sigh, the feeling of safety and comfort engulfing her like a warm hug.

Eddie took this as a sign he should retreat to the living room, making sure to wish her goodnight, as well as reassuring her that she could call for him at any point in time if she needed anything. Although she had been let down earlier by a similar unkept promise, she knew Eddie meant every word he said.

Once in the living room, Eddie opted to sit on the sofa for a while to ensure that if she did call out for him, he would be awake and ready to help. He turned on the television in hopes of keeping his mind busy, his thoughts currently consumed with the image of her in his bed. He despised his heart for making him feel so fondly of someone who was in a relationship, albeit an unhealthy one. Was it so wrong for him to hope that she would leave him? The rage he felt accompanied by sorrow for the way she was treated tonight was overbearing. With a grunt, he stood up from his seat and made his way to the refrigerator in hopes that there would be a cold beer stashed somewhere in there. Wayne wasn't opposed to him drinking his supply, so long as he replaced what was taken. Behind the milk carton were two cans of Pabs Blue Ribbon. He grabbed one of the cans and headed back to the sofa, making sure to open it slowly to minimize the noise from the aluminum cracking.

_

The second Eddie had left the bedroom, the feeling of anxiety she had previously felt slowly crept it's way back into her core. She shook her leg in an attempt at self-soothing, trying her best to remind herself that she was safe now. She knew that she could call for Eddie at any point and that he would be back in the room within seconds, but the feeling of embarrassment and fear of bothering him prevented her from doing so. She tossed and turned, trying to get to sleep without success. Out of frustration she sat up from the bed, the blanket still wrapped over her head in a cocoon shape. She began looking around the room once more, admiring the posters on his wall. His bedroom was exactly as she had pictured it to be. Having only seem him in their work uniform up until tonight, his haircut and ringed fingers had given her a pretty good idea of what his style would be; his bedroom reflecting that perfectly.

His bedroom was quaint and felt like home. A feeling she hadn't felt in years since being with Samuel.

Samuel.

The mere thought of him sent a cold shudder through her that shook her form. She worried about his reaction to her not being home once he arrived at their apartment. He always accused her of infidelity, likely projecting onto her his own bad behavior, and would surely lash out at her the next time he saw her. She began to spiral, images of past mistreatments and abuse at the hand of her partner crashed into her like a violent wave. Tears streamed down her cheeks uncontrollably, as they had many times before.

She had spent many nights crying into a towel in the bathroom alone so she wouldn't wake him with the sound of her whimpers, as he laid in their shared bed without a care in the world. He lacked the ability to comfort her, expressing it many times, usually by saying: "i don't know what you want from me". In those moments a simple reassuring hug would have sufficed, or any act of compassion or intimacy, but he didn't care. Not then, and certainly not now. This sudden realization was all too much for her to handle in this moment.

She desperately needed comfort. She attempted to compose herself before slowly creeping out of bed and pausing at the ajar door. Part of her knew it was wrong, but the desperate need for consoling overshadowed the morality of her decision. In a barely audible tone, she called Eddie's name and waited nervously inches from the door. Almost instantly, she heard him getting up from the sofa and walk hurriedly to the back of the trailer. The door opened quickly startling her and Eddie let out a small yelp, not expecting to see her standing so close to the door.

"Jesus," he let out with a sigh, clutching his chest. "Sorry, ah, i thought you'd be in bed." After recovering from the small arrythmia he was almost certain he suffered, he chuckled and asked, "Everything okay?"

Upon his arrival, a sense of dread and self-loathing washed over her. She feared rejection but also reprimanding from Eddie. He knew she had a boyfriend, and had been so considerate of that all night, was she really about to ask him if he could sleep in the same bed? It wasn't in a sexual way, but somehow the lather felt worse. Seeking emotional intimacy from someone other than the person she was dating? She felt despicable. The worse form of betrayal in her mind was emotional infidelity, which is exactly what had been taking place over the last few months. She couldn't be blamed though, not entirely. Her absent and neglectful partner had driven her into the arms of a more caring, emotionally intelligent man and for that, he only had himself to blame.

"S'worse when you're out there. Can you stay here? Please..." she managed to mutter.

Eddie's heart skipped a beat. He would do anything she'd ask to help her feel better. "Yeah! Yeah, of course. Let me go get the extra blankets and a pillow and i'll set up on the fl-"

"Could you sleep next to me?"

Her broken tone of voice shattered him. It had become very apparent to him that her relationship was far more damaging than it appeared to be on the surface. Every question she had asked him, whilst in her most vulnerable state, had a sad undertone expecting rejection. The mention of her partner's name alone had caused her intense distress. Without letting another second go by, he sprung into action. He gently agreed and motioned towards the bed, letting her get comfortable before climbing in himself. Not wanting to cross any boundaries or make her feel uncomfortable, Eddie held off on laying down. Instead, he sat up on the bed with his back against the wall, trying to take up as little space as possible as he nonchalantly stared ahead.

She was laying on her side facing him, when he caught a glimpse of her looking up at him. He turned to face her, trying to think of any topic of conversation to hide the fact that he was screaming inside. All the feelings he had for her that he had managed to suppress all this came crashing down on him. She was the girl of his dreams, and she was laying in his bed with him. He quickly shut down those thoughts and focused on her well-being; it was his top priority. He took in her facial features, now that the blanket was no longer covering the bottom half of her face, and noticed she was grinding her teeth still. "Try and relax your jaw." he said with care.

"M'sorry"

"Don't need to apologize," he reassured laughing lightly, "just don't want you to be sore in the morning, is all."

There was a brief moment of silence as her smile grew, then a snort escaped her as she buried her face in the blanket. The innuendo now becoming apparent to Eddie who, also broke out into laughter.

"Oh god, i didn't mean it like that!" was all he managed to say, bringing his palm up to his face. His embarrassment was short-lived, her laughter filling the room was music to his ears.

"I know, s'just funny" she said between giggles.

The room went quiet again, the sound of their breathing being the only audible noise. The effects of the drug were slowly wearing off, evidence of that came from her suddenly yawning.

"Wanna try and get some rest?" he offered.

"That sounds good" she responded.

"Okay, lights on or off?"

"Off please."

"Okay," he said, making his way towards the lamp to shut it off. He excused himself to go turn off the rest of the lights, as well as the TV still playing and made his was back to the room shortly after. He carefully climbed into the bed, this time laying down but still taking up as little room as possible.

Eddie was the kind of sleeper that liked to take up as much of the bed as humanly possible, so he know he wouldn't be getting the best of sleep tonight but he didn't care. Knowing that she was safe meant more to him than a good night's rest. They wished one another goodnight and attempted to drift asleep.

A few minutes of stillness passed, she turned to face him, craving closeness and warmth. Tonight's series of events had proven that Eddie was a gentleman and certainly wasn't the type to take advantage of her or intentionally cross any boundaries. She inched slightly closer to him and whispered: "Can you hold me?"

He hummed in response extending his arms for her to settle in. She nestled into his chest, their bodies fitting perfectly with one another like a puzzle. The feeling of contempt and security she felt while in Eddie's arms was unmatched. It was as if nothing could hurt her as long as he was around. He felt her grip on his shirt tighten slightly, her body pushing onto his in an attempt to get closer. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, feels good. Safe." she replied sleepily. Eddie understood in that moment how touch starved she was. She craved intimacy in it's purest form. He readjusted his arm so he could lightly rub his fingertips on her back soothingly. She was beginning to drift asleep, but was still clenching her jaw, an action Eddie was quick to notice. With his free hand, he lightly cupped the side of her face and rubbed gentle circles on her cheek and jaw in an attempt to sooth her likely sore muscles.

"Try to relax your jaw sweetheart, unclench your teeth." he gently reminded her.

His caring instructions were met with a low hum followed by a barely audible "thank you", the tension in her face releasing almost instantaneously.

Eddie bent down slightly to give the top of her head a kiss while softly uttering: "Goodnight sweetheart.", her only response an even sleepier hum than before. In a matter of seconds, they both drifted to sleep comfortably in each others presence.

_

The end ♡

-

This is my first time posting in a while, i hope you liked it, lmk what you think! xo

[brosser-les-dents]

currently very slowly recovering from my schedule being thrown off, any tips on pushing brushing my teeth up to the front of my priorities?

Mmm, so the very simple answer to that is fear. Lol.

If you don't prioritize caring for your teeth, there's a good chance you will begin to lose them. If not lose them, they will cause you pain. (they also cause pain during the process of losing them) And if you decide to try and fix the pain, money. Also, even if you're rich or live in a country with universal dental care and money is not an issue, not everything can be fixed back to a no more pain state.

As someone who has closely watched the pain and suffering my parents have experience bc of a lifetime of poor oral care, it motivates me to care for my teeth. And to be honest, it motivates me to motivate you to care for your teeth.

My mom only has 3 teeth left in total. My dad only has 3 spots left in his molars where the top and bottom contact for eating. Mom has dentures, dad does not. They both struggle to eat. Imagine the most basic task of being a human being causing you pain and frustration every single day. There are so many things they miss out on bc they can't eat properly. My dad's teeth have also been slowly rotting out of his head. He just lost a tooth (literally was so infected it fell out) so I'm hoping now that I've managed to convince him to do a regular cleaning and have him on high fluoride toothpaste that no more will get infected. But he's had one infected tooth after another fall out for the last 5 or so years. That's years of pain. Like every single day. And antibiotics, which also mess with your body systems.

Also, being able to comfortably eat enough every single day fuels everything your body does. My mom doesn't eat enough to fuel her normal body systems. So she doesn't heal very fast and she is very weak.

Having healthy teeth also impacts life enjoyment overall. Added pain to your daily life can diminish how much you enjoy your life overall. I know that seems simple and obvious, but I have watched that pain wear down on my parents.

Lastly, brushing and flossing really only takes about 5 minutes. Like if you do a really good job doing both, it might take 10 total minutes from getting to the sink to wiping off your face. (I realize the assumption here is that you're able bodied, so I do acknowledge it could be so much more work involved here, but if that's the case, then I'd love to see if we could all work together to find solutions to try and make it easier for you) Think about how little time that is in your day, compared to a possible future of not being able to eat properly and long term, never ending pain. I realize brushing and flossing isn't just the time it takes, but the sensations, the boredom, the fact you could be doing anything else. But it is worth the work and you are worth the effort. You deserve to live life with healthy teeth. They add so much to a healthy life. And you deserve all the good things.

Again: brushing and flossing is worth the work and you are worth the effort.

[itsohh]

With You

A/N: Female reader, the cheating tag is there cause well I mean, Deimos has a wife lol.

Summary: After a mission goes wrong you find yourself in a decade long coma only to find out that your mentor betrayed your team and is currently the world's most wanted.

Word count: 4784

Warnings: Angst, cheating, age difference, power imbalance

Masterlist AO3

2012

A curse left your mouth as he held you pinned against the floor. The second that he kept you there was almost a lifetime, eternal as time slowed down. Completely trapped under him as the heat radiated from his body onto you. If you weren't already hot from training you were certain your checks would have heated up. Time sped up again and he removed himself from on-top you. “Going to have to last longer than that Rookie.”

By no means were you new to combat, yes you were younger than most of the operatives but you weren't a rookie. You didn't dare say that to Gerald though. At the end of the day he was right- you were less experienced than most of the other Rainbow operators. Gerald knew that your enemies wouldn't go easy on you so he didn't go easy on you. 

“I know.” You finally answered him as he handed you your bottle of water. 

“We're doing overtime tonight, I want to see improvement.”

“Can’t, I've got prior plans.” 

Gerald froze at your refusal. “Prior plans?”

“Uh huh.”

“How in the hell do you have prior plans? This should be your biggest priority.”

“Yah know they reckon half of the fight is menal right? Plans Morris. A life. I need to breathe a little or else I'll get lost in our work.”

“You should be lost in our work. It's us or nothing.” He took a swig of water from his own bottle, obviously eager to get back into it. Yet you ignored his body language. 

“I should go. It's certainly late enough.” You mumbled the last part and got off the mat. With a small goodbye wave to Gerard you headed towards the locker room. Yet when you reached the corridor which lead towards it a hand suddenly yanked your arm. 

Gerald looked you in the eye with a look you couldn't quite gauge. It wasn't quite fury but more akin to authority. Control. “Cancel your plans rookie.”

“No.”

“No?” 

“No. I need to just let loose for a moment. I need to relax.”

“You need to train more if you want to stay alive. I think that's a little more important than putting on a cocktail dress and getting wasted like a whore.” He mocked.

Your hand went slap him but he caught your wrist and pinned it to the wall. He took a step towards you and used his body to sandwich you against it. For a moment neither of you spoke. Each time you breathed his chest would press against your while your eyes remained locked on his. 

“You can't speak to me like that.” You finally found the courage to speak. 

“I don't think your in a position to make demands are you sweetheart?” 

At his question silence ring in your ears and you were painfully aware the pair of you were the only ones left in the room, hell even the building. His free hand came down to your chin. “I don't know how you have lasted this long. Sweet thing like you.” 

Your brows narrowed at him. He had been in combat with you, he had seen what you could do. But you had to admit hand to hand was your weakness. The possibility that he was trying to rile you up did occur to you and you studied his face. There were a lot of things people had said to describe you sweet was not one of them. “No one gets close enough to take me.”

Gerald hummed and his body pressed against you. No longer did you breath to touch him, his entire body was for against yours and you could feel his warmth through his shirt and your bra. “This job swallows people. I have to have time to remember I'm a person.” Your voice was practically a whisper as his lips brushed against yours. 

“I can show you that. Cancel your plans with your friends. Stay here. We can take it easy and be productive.” 

“I never said I was going out with friends.” Each time you spoke your lips brushed against his and you could feel his breath on your face. 

His eyes flicked to your lips and then his lips were firmly against yours. With a moan you kissed back against him. He kissed like he fought, hard and full of passion like his life depended on it. His lips were consuming, controlling and demanded everything from you. With your free hand you found the back of his neck and tangled your fingers into his hair before you yanked his head back. 

Gerald let out a groan that seemed to ignite in his eyes and he stared at you. 

“We can't.” You whispered. 

“Why not?” He let go of your wrist and parted slightly from you. 

“You’re my superior.” 

“Trust me, that won't affect anything.”

“You’re- you're married. You have a wife and kids. You love your family and I'm not going to ruin that. I'm not going to be the other woman.” Despite how bad you wished to continue, you pushed on his chest and slipped away from him. 

“Europa.” Your nickname fell from his lips like a prayer. Lips that had been just previously against yours. Lips that you ached for, your body so cold now that his was gone. 

“I won’t tell anyone. I care about you too much for that. A moment of weakness.” You swallowed and looked to the floor. He repeated the name again but this time was a little bit closer. 

“Go spend time with your wife Morris. I'll improve on my own time.” 

-

2021

The sun was almost painfully bright, your body disobeyed your commands. Weak in your own skin it took almost your entire strength to move. Each breath was heavy as you sat up and attempted to look around. 

It was obvious you were in a hospital and you let out a little groan. The fucking grenade. You had seen it and reacted a little too slow. The metal table had taken the brunt of the impact but you had still been sent flying. A breath left your lips. Morris would no doubt give you a hard time about the matter. 

There wasn't any flowers near you. Only an empty vase that hadnt been filled in a long time and a teddy bear which had ‘get well soon’ sewn on it. A layer of dust covered it and you couldn't help but wonder how long you had been there. 

When you tried to move your legs they only barely moved and you decided not to test your luck by standing up. Your eyes found the call button for a nurse and you pressed it. 

A brief curse was heard out of the open door and a few moments later a couple of nurses locked eyes with you. 

“Holy shit she's awake.”

-

2024

It had taken you three years but you were almost back to were you used to be. Your coma had left your body frail and weak but over time and therapy you managed to build your muscles and strength back up. No one from Rainbow had contacted you but you found you did have pension and quite a lot of backpay. 

That was the case until a knock tapped on your door. You had only barely heard it through the small gap of you changing songs on your phone as you worked out. “Coming!” You called and put the phone down. 

The door was opened only a crack and you peered outside. A red headed woman and an older man stood here. “No soliciting.” You went to close the door before the woman jumped into action and called your name. 

Still you went to close the door. 

“Europa!” She called and you froze. It has been a long while since anyone had called you that. “That's what they called you right? May we come in and talk?” 

Your hand went to the pistol you kept next to the door and aimed it through it. “Who the hell are you people?” 

The man pulled out his wallet and showed you his identification. GIGN. The woman fumbled for a second and did the same. FBI. 

“We're from Rainbow.” He smiled and you paused and slowly you pulled open the door and flipped your gun into your jacket. 

“I thought Rainbow disbanded.”

“It did but was reactivated in 2015.” She explained. You allowed them both inside and closed the door behind them. “My name is Doctor Gustave Ketab and this is my coworker Eliza Cohen.” 

You brought the two over to your lounge and sat down at the sofa. “I would offer you two some tea or coffee but I don't really want you in my apartment so can we cut to the chase?”

They glanced at each other before Gustave took the lead. “We heard that you recently woke up from a coma-”

“-If you call three years recently okay.” You interrupted him. “Look cool you guys got reactivated but I'm never going to be the same as I was and I've already been discharged. I'm actually quite happy living my little life here.” 

“It's not you that we are looking it's about someone you worked with.”

“You want information?” You cocked a brow. Despite having to write reports about everything you didn't blame them coming to the source, there was a lot of information that was omitted from those reports. 

Eliza pulled a folder from the inside of her coat and placed it on your coffee table. With the corner of your pinkie finger you flicked it open to be met with Gerald's face. A breath of air was sucked through your teeth and your brows shot up. A chill ran down your spine and your heart ached at the thought of him. You hadn't seen him since that night. 

“Gerald Morris. That's uh a name I haven't seen in a long time.” You looked away from a moment as you pressed your lips together. “He was my superior, my mentor I guess. What do you want to know about him?” 

Each word had your heart race and you could practically hear the blood rush in your ears. “Can you tell us what he was like?” Gustave asked. 

“A real fucking hard ass. Let me tell you he pushed you to the limit. A real bastard but he took care of me.” You swallowed. “He took care of his team. Was pretty instant on sticking to the book.”

“We're you close?” Gustave asked. 

Sweat stuck to your bra and you were sure if you were glad that you had been working out of not. “I mean yeah, he was my mentor. We were close, sure.” 

You leaned back against the sofa back and looked at them. “Why? He's not still at Rainbow is he? Should have retired by now.” You mumbled. 

“You haven't had any contact with him since waking up?” Eliza asked. 

“Last time I saw him was ah probably what ah 12 years ago? Is he okay?”

Eliza turned the page on the folder and you started to read the file properly. 

“I don't- no he wouldn't.” You frowned. “Gerald cared about his team. He wouldn't-” You cut yourself off with a frustrated sound and rose to your feet. “He wouldn't kill Bogart.” Your teeth clenched and you walked away from them. 

“I'm sorry this must be hard for you to hear-” Eliza started. 

“-We were a team. I didn't even know Daniel died.” Your voice grew quiet and you leaned on the back of the sofa. “We always had each other's backs.”

“Can you tell us anything about them?” Gustave asked. 

“What can I tell you? They were both good men. They both cared so much about helping and saving people. Both of them trained me but then again who didn't in Rainbow? I was everyone's little pet project.”

“Pet project?” Gustave prompted. 

“Everyone had something for me to improve on. With Gerald it was hand to hand, Daniel helped me with improving my marksmanship, when he had the time Six would help improve my stealth, Bishop would teach me tactics when she could, you get the idea.”

“Your record says that you were a marksman, yet you had Bogart teach you?”

“That man was insane. Definitely one of the best shots I've ever seen. I would have been a fool to overlook his help. Why did Gerald kill him?” You were fast to get the question out and be done with the small talk. 

“There's a lot that's happened. It's best if you read it.” Gustave answered and you sighed. A link blink later you sat back down on the sofa and resumed reading his file. 

For five minutes you didn't say a word. All you could do is reread the file over and over. 

“We're wonder if you would know of anything that would set him off and lead him down this path.” Eliza explained when you glanced at them. 

“I don't know. I was already in a coma when all this happened.”

“Look if there's anything at all?” Gustave leaned forward and you could see the implication behind his eyes. 

“If there's something you wish to ask, doctor, ask it.” Your nails dug into the sofa. 

“Were you sleeping with Morris?” Eliza immediately asked and the man slowly turned to face her. The question certainly wasn't subtle.

*No.” You spoke without hesitation. “I didn't sleep my way to my position if that's what you were wondering. Six brought me on because he saw the potential in me and because I was fucking good.”

A breath left your lips and you forced yourself to calm down. It was a reasonable thought, you were young and one of the only women there. “Things weren't left entirely professional though.”

“What do you mean?” Gustave asked. 

“The last time I saw him, we had an argument. He wanted me to train in overtime and I wanted to have a break that night. Things got heated and he kissed me before I rejected him.” 

“You weren't afraid of the consequences that it would have on your career? Normally rejections don't go well for most people.” Gustave asked. 

“I was more worried about the consequences it would have on him and his family to be honest. I’m not sure if I loved him.” A lie. “But I certainly cared about him and I like to think he cared about me. It wasn't a rejection based on unrequited feelings. It was a matter of circumstances. Gerald isn't that man- wasn't that type of man. He wouldn't let it affect our work life but it didn't really matter in the end did it?” You bitterly chuckled to yourself. 

“I wanted him to be happy with his family but it seems he had other ideas. I guess I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. Maybe at all.”

“Would you come back with us and speak to Gerald. We are hoping that he will open up to you.” Gustave asked. 

“Gerald isn't that type of man. His principals are always going to take priority over how he feels. I won't do jack squat and I really don't feel like being used to get a reaction out of him.”

“It-”

“-You lot seem like good operators hmm? I mean your part of Rainbow. You don't fucking need me to do your job. Figure it out.”

“Join Rainbow again. We could use your skills-” Eliza started and you barked out a laugh. 

“-Are you fucking insane? Rejoin Rainbow? I thought I made myself clear earlier. Fuck no, I just fucking said I don't want to be a puppet in your game. Do you people not listen? Is that a requirement for being a Rainbow op these days? Now I think you two have outlasted your stay.”

“He's hunting us down. Even in captivity he seems rather certain he has plans to kill us all. Currently that's 62 operators. He has the skill, the smarts and the information to do so. Every day we don't get through to him is another day that he gets close to accomplishing that goal.” Eliza leaned forward and you could heard the desperation in her voice, the slight crack in it. 

“These are our people. Our friends and right now your one of our biggest leads.” Gustave backed her up. 

“What about his wife and kids? Did you dangle them in front of his face too?*

“Non. They believe he is dead, it's nicer that way.”

“Why not just let me believe the same?”

They didn't answer you and you sighed. “I will talk to him but I'm not being your puppet. I will say what I want to say to him and what I want him to answer. There's not going to be any integration room or one way mirror. No cameras. I want to talk with him normally in a fucking room.”

Gustave started to make a sound of protest but Eliza spoke. 

“Done.”

“May we request someone to be there with you? For your safety. At least.” Gustave asked. 

“No. I told you. This is for me. Not for you, say what you want afterwards I don't care. I'm not being your puppet.” 

“Okay.” Eliza nodded and stood up. Gustave didn't seem happy but didn't complain. “Here's a flight back to base, we will meet you there.”

“At Hereford?”

“Yes.”

-

It was strange being back. Somehow the place was completely different but almost exactly the same at the same time. A guest lanyard stayed around your neck as one of the operators showed you around. 

“Here's were you will be staying. It's close to the SASR ops but the walls are pretty thick.”

“Thanks Campbell.” He opened the door and you dumped your duffle back on the bed. There wasn't much for you to take. 

“Please call me Miles.” He smiled warmly. “If you have any questions feel free to hit me up.”

“Alright thanks.” He left the room and you were finally alone. There wasnt anything to unpack, you prefered to keep everything in your bag. The only thing you did get out was a chunky bracelet which you put on and his beneath your hoodie. 

Ten minutes later there was a knock of your door and you promptly opened it. “Cohen.” 

“Normally I would have done this tomorrow but I doubt you really want to wait that long.” 

She started to lead you down the hallway. “There's not a lot of places he can go unsupervised so I'm afraid we have to put him into an integration room if you want to be in the same room with him.”

You started to protest but she continued on.  

“I know this isn't what you agreed to but we can turn off the cameras and the one way mirror. No one will be there with you, you will have complete privacy. It wasn't easy to get you the department leads protested a lot.” 

“...Thanks.” You weren't very overly grateful but it seemed like the right thing to say. 

“You have fifteen minutes and if we don't hear from you someone will come in after. Knock four times when you're ready to leave.”

The pair of you reached the interrogation room relatively fast at her slightly uncomfortable fast walking pace. “He's already in there.”

She looked towards the door. “Black out will happen when you go in.” 

You opened the door and walked inside. The first thing you noticed was the one way mirror turned clear and then the orange light from the camera turned off. Behind your hoodie you hid and sat down opposite to Gerald. 

He didn't say anything, he didn't seem to care about your presence. You took the bracelet off your wrist and placed it in the middle of the table before you clicked the switch on the side of it. 

Curiosity got the better of the man and he spoke up. “What's this?”

“It's known as the bracket of silence. It's microphone jammer.” You looked at hima nd brought your hoodie down. Right away his face softened up and his lips parted slightly. 

“You’re awake.” His chained hand reached towards your face, specificly the scar that had formed on the side of your head. You flinched slightly when he touched you but didn't stop him. 

“Of all the time for you to wake up, it's now.” He seemed frustrated by the thought. 

“I've been awake for three years now.” 

His brows narrowed and he pulled back his hand. 

“Been doing physical therapy and shit like that. Maybe if you visited you would have known-”

“I visited.” His voice raised before he swallowed and repeated himself quieter. “I visited you whenever I could even after Rainbow collapsed. Even after I faked my death I visited you. But after 7 years…”

“You gave up hope?” 

“I accepted that you weren't waking up. I had someone who was supposed to keep an eye on you but it seems like I'm going to have to have a long conversation with them after this if it slipped that you were out of hospital for three years.” His first clenched and his jaw tightened. 

“Does it matter? From the sounds of it, your hunting down all of Rainbow anyway-”

“No, not Rainbow. Not us, those imposters who parade in our name. I could have helped you, I should have been there to guide you-”

“When? In between your terrorist hobbies? In between killing Bohem? Cause it sounds to me like you are killing us-”

“That was an unfortunate sacrifice I didn't have a choice-”

“You always have a choice!” You slammed your hands on the metal desk. “He was out leader, our commander, my mentor, our friend.” Your voice choked nd you looked away. “You made the decision to kill him.”

“You weren't there.” He growled. 

“No shit I was in a fucking coma but it doesn't change the fact you killed him.”

“They set you up!” He jumped up from the table. 

“What?”

“They set you up. Your mission I read-”

“-No I fucked up. I didn't react fast enough.”

“Just listen to me for one moment, woman!” His loud voice had you paused and you nodded for him to continue. “Your entire mission was fucked the moment you got it. There was no possible way that you could have completed it alive. I'm surprised you even completed the objective. Not because your bad, far from it. The mission was stacked against you. They should have sent in more people with you. It wasn't fair to you and they were going to leave you behind when you failed.”

“How am I here then?”

“Because I found out about it. I was on your extraction heli and went in after you when you went dark.” 

Silence grew between the pair of you as you absorbed the information. “Aren't you tired of being a pawn?”

“Yes.” You looked him in the eye. “I am. Which is why I'm in my retirement. Something you could have done.”

“I couldn't just retire.” 

“Why not? You could have been happy with your family. You would have been an honorable man who finished his time.”

“There's still too much work left to do.”

“What? Killing the next generation? Doesn't sound like work. It sounds like you're a bitter old bastard who can't let things go.” 

Gerald stood up for his chair with fury in his eyes and you continued. “You know they offered me a job. If I took it would you kill me too? If I was there instead of Daniel would you have killed me?”

“No. No it wouldn't have reached that. You would have listened to me.”

“Would I?” You titled your head as you challenged him. Slowly you walked around the table until you were next to him and looked at you. “I told you once that I needed breaks because this job could swallow you whole and this is exactly what I meant. I think you need therapy. Proper therapy where you want it to work. 

I think if I was there that day you would have put me in the ground the same way you would put me in the ground now if I got in your way because you see people not as people anymore but pieces. Pieces in the game where only you can win.  It will never be enough though, how far will your righteous crusade go? How many lives must be taken until you're satisfied? Fuck it let's make it a little easier huh.” You grabbed his hand and brought it to your throat. 

“Kill me. That's what you do right? Kill your own people. Betray those you're close to. Who else was closer to you in my team but me right?” 

Gerald stared at you and you watched as the clockwork behind his eyes turned. He blinked and you could tell right away he was back in control of the situation. 

His hand tightened around your neck but he didn't choke you, it was just to hold you. This thumb gently stroked your jugular before he pushed you back against the wall. Gerald's eyes lined with yours and his lips parted. 

“I wouldn't have killed you. Maybe you wouldn't have listened but I never would have had a reason to kill you. I could disarm you with ease. If I had to I would have taken you with me. I would have kept you safe.” He came closer in a proximity that reminded you of last time. 

“You're not a threat to me, you've never been. I couldn't kill you back then for that same reason I won't kill you now. It's the same reason why you wouldn't have killed me if you were in Daniel’s position. You’re not a threat to me.” The repeated phrase of your own words had your hand clench into a fist. You weren't sure what pissed you off more, that or the fact that he didn't take you as a threat. 

“I hate you.” You whispered as his lips brushed against yours. 

“No you don't. I can tell you want to, you really want to but you don't.” His hand moved from your throat up to you jaw where he used it to hold your face as his lips connected with yours. 

His lips moved slowly against your but firmly. It was like he was testing the waters but savouring every last second of it. “You would have done so well at my side.” He mumbled as he parted, his facial hair still brushing against you. “Bishop was wrong to sign you off on that mission. She should have sent me with you.” His other hand cupped the other side of your face. 

“I completed the objective, that was a solo mission for a reason. Bishop’s tactics worked.”

His fists slammed on the wall above your head and the chain on the cuffs rattled. 

“It would have cost you your life.” He hissed and his eyes pointed at yours. You looked away from him and you heard him sigh. Slowly you looked back at him. Gerald calmed himself with a deep breath and his forehead met yours where he gently rested it. 

“It already stole a decade from you. The risk of a solo insertion was too high. I should have been there.” Gerald's voice was quiet. The bottom of his face pushed forward and once again his lips were against yours. Once again there was a sense of slow urgency, as if he couldn't properly speak. Like somehow those kisses could make it better, that they couldn't explain matters. 

“But you weren't.” You whispered when he parted. You ducked down from under his arms and went towards the table. “You weren't there Morris. I went into a coma and you betrayed Rainbow. You became the very thing we were supposed to stop. I heard the stories, how are you any better than Nowak?”

“Nowak was an incompetent arrogant asshole who turned traitor because he didn't have any self worth.” He spun around and grabbed your wrist. 

“Well you have three of those traits down don't you?” You snatched your wrist back and turned away from him dead set on the door. 

“Europa.” 

“You know I think I would have preferred it if they just told me you died. It would have been kinder.”

He called out your name once, twice but didn't move to stop you. 

You took a few steps toward the door and knocked four times. The door soon swung open and you didn't look back. 

[atlabeth]

everything happens for a reason part 20 - zuko x fem!reader

Guess it's true, I'm never getting over you

part 19 | masterlist | part 21

a/n: holy shit guys. we're finally here. the title chapter, the part that officially puts us over the 100k mark, the turning point, the end of the constant mf angst that i've put you all through. that's right. it's finally time for yn and zuko's life changing field trip. ive had this idea down for so long and i can't believe we're actually here lol. buckle up because she's a very long and very emotional one. i hope you enjoy.

wc: 14.3k I KNOW IM SORRY

warning(s): a lot of angst, fighting, violence (including minor character death), a whole lot of emotions, but the fluffy reconciliation you've all been waiting for<3

chapter title comes from everything happens for a reason (!!!!!!) by madison beer

Y/N felt betrayed. 

It wasn’t a secret how she felt about Zuko. She avoided him at every possible moment, making herself scarce whenever he walked into a room or completely ignoring him in group conversation—it was the closest she could get to the civility required now that he was Aang’s firebending teacher, and even that was difficult. 

Not because she didn’t want anything to do with Zuko—no, it was becoming the opposite, and it scared her more than anything. 

She found herself thinking of him more often than not. And not of the North, or their meetings along their journey, not the catacombs—she found herself recalling the more pleasant memories. 

The time they spent together whenever they could when she was still a servant and he was still a prince. The sunset they shared together the night before her life was turned upside down. Those afternoons when she would visit him in the tea shop, talking like they used to, smiling like they used to. 

Remembering him for who he was rather than who he had become was dangerous. It was how she got her heart broken in the first place, how she went through some of the worst months of her life. 

He couldn’t hurt her again if she didn’t give him the chance to. So she wouldn’t. 

But it was getting harder and harder to avoid him, because one by one, her friends forgave him. 

First, she’d heard, was Toph. She didn’t have any kind of grudge against him, and she was able to make up for him burning her feet tenfold now that he was part of the team. 

Next was Aang. He was already far too forgiving, the amount of grace inside of him more than Y/N could even hope to muster. They proved themselves in front of the last dragons together, and apparently that was enough for Aang to trust him. 

It took Sokka a bit longer, but after what they pulled off at the Boiling Rock together, he didn’t seem to have a hard time getting along with Zuko. The fact that he helped save Y/N and Suki probably didn’t hurt his chances either. 

Zuko had burned down Suki’s village, but Y/N still remembered what she told him in the courtyard—”if you can get me out of here, you’re forgiven. Kyoshi’s fans, I’ll be your best friend.” They weren’t exactly that close, but they worked together, and that was enough. 

Katara, it seemed, was the only one who still shared Y/N’s scorned feelings. They held onto each other like a lifeline, feeding off of the other in their hatred. It might not have been the healthiest option, but they refused to forgive Zuko. They stewed in their hurt, and it felt good. It felt good to have a target for their bitterness rather than the abstract ideal of betrayal, and Zuko worked just fine. 

After they had fought against Azula, the night they settled on a random Fire Nation island, the two of them sat together on the outskirts of camp. They were meant to be keeping watch together, but instead they made quiet conversation. 

“So,” Katara said, “today was… something.” 

“That’s one way to say it,” Y/N said wryly. “Since joining you guys, I’ve had enough action for a lifetime. I can’t wait for all this to be over.” 

Katara smiled, but it was wistful. “Neither can I. This has all gone on for so long—all I want is peace.” 

A memory flashed through her mind—frantic screams, desperate pleading, flames devouring centuries of life—and Y/N swallowed thickly as she tried to push it away. The closer the day came, the more the memories would appear. It happened every year, but this time it was worse. 

“Me too,” she murmured. “More than anything.” 

Katara looked at her for a moment, her gaze softening before she finally spoke. “Are you okay? I… I know today wasn’t easy.” 

Y/N managed a thin smile, but it wasn’t convincing. “You don’t have to worry about me.” 

“You know I can’t do that,” Katara said dryly. “We look out for each other—we always have, even from the first day we met. But it’s like you’re trying to make it as hard as possible for me to care about you.” 

“One of my many skills,” she said sarcastically, but Katara didn’t laugh. Y/N sighed in response, long and deep, and allowed her gaze to drift into the murky distance. At nighttime, the water and the sky became one. It was calming. “I just…” she shook her head, “I don’t know what to do.” 

“With Zuko,” she guessed. 

“With everything,” Y/N said, but then she sighed again. “...Zuko included.” 

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Katara said quietly. “Not after everything he’s put you through.” 

“I keep telling myself that,” she murmured. “But there’s something inside of me that I can’t get rid of.” She looked at Katara, the beginnings of tears glimmering in her eyes. “There— there’s this hope that I can’t get rid of, that things could be the way they used to be again. And— and last time I felt that way was in Ba Sing Se, and I know where that got me, so—” 

Katara stayed silent, only taking her hand to acknowledge her while allowing her to continue. It was a lifeline to her, one sorely needed, and she let out a shaky breath. 

“So why do I still feel that way?” she asked, almost desperately. “How have they all forgiven him so easily? They know what he did— spirits, Aang died because of him— but they’re all able to sit around and joke with him like nothing happened.” 

“They didn’t trust him the way we did,” Katara said with a quiet anger. “They didn’t trust him the way we did, so it didn’t hurt them the way it hurt us.” 

“I don’t want to forgive him,” Y/N said weakly. “But the thought of losing him hurts so much. Why does it hurt so much?”

“I don’t know,” Katara murmured. “I… I don’t know.”

Y/N flinched as a tear rolled down her cheek and fell to the ground below, and she instinctively wiped it away. She couldn’t show weakness.

She grimaced at the thought. How long would that wretched place stay with her?

“I’ll give you some time.” Katara’s expression was pained as she squeezed her hand. She didn’t want to leave her alone, but Y/N was thankful for it. Right now she just needed to feel miserable by herself, without bringing Katara down with her. 

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Katara nodded as she stood up. “You can sleep in my tent tonight. Or if you decide you want to talk, come bother me. I promise it’ll be okay.”

Y/N nodded, the action a bit numb, and she could feel Katara’s eyes on her as she lingered. But eventually she mustered the strength to leave, and Y/N was left with her thoughts.

She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat as she stared up at the sky. She tried to find the constellation her father taught her when she was a mere child—the tiger seal. 

It was a jumble of stars that didn’t even remotely resemble the animal, but she remembered late nights spent stargazing on the ground outside their house, giggling endlessly as her father would point out various other constellations that he made up on his own. It would last until her mother would come out and tell them it was far past your bedtime, young lady, but she would never hide her smile as they ambled back inside.

The memory made a smile of her own emerge, but she soon realized she was fully in tears. They slid down her cheeks, falling onto the dirt and stones jutting out of the cliffside. 

She couldn’t stop thinking of Zuko. She couldn’t stop thinking of her father. She felt so deeply broken in a way that she had no idea how to fix, in a way that was threatening to consume her. 

She had her life back. Everything should have been back to normal. 

But instead, she felt more lost than ever.

-

Y/N ended up taking Katara’s offer of sleeping in her tent, and she was glad she did. The familiarity of it all made her heart ache, but she was thankful for it. Thankful that she had friends like these who wouldn’t let her push them away, no matter how much her newly wired instincts told her it was the right thing to do. 

She was visited by her childhood in her dreams yet again. She saw her father and her mother, walking hand in hand with smiles on their faces as they trailed behind a young Y/N skipping through the village paths. 

She saw her child self running, screaming and laughing in equal parts as she was chased by the boy marked as the tagger, only to stagger backwards after running into one of the adults. But she was greeted by the smiling face of her father. The boy tapped her on the shoulder and ran off laughing, but her father knelt down to her level and looked at her completely seriously. 

“I guess that means we’re the taggers now, huh?” And with that, the two of them ran around the village tagging everyone they could with the seriously unfair advantage. 

She saw the moment after she’d learned how to waterbend, sprinting through the whole village to find her father, drag him to the lake, and show him her new skill. Gan held all the stars in his eyes as he watched her bend, and even though it was the simplest thing she could’ve done he praised her to no end. 

The absence of scars, the smoothness of her skin, a bright smile that shone through her—she was unmarked by the world then. Hopeful, content, naive. 

When she woke up with still-wet tear tracks on her cheeks, it wasn't a surprise. She woke up like this more often than not. 

One week. Seven days. And then she would go to face something she wasn’t sure she was ready for.

But for now, there was something else to focus on. She could hear loud voices outside of the tent—all familiar, thankfully—but she knew that meant she had overslept. 

Y/N fixed her hair and her clothes, rubbing furiously at her face to get rid of any signs of her previous emotions, and emerged from the tent to see her friends all standing around Appa. 

“—about getting closure and justice,” she heard Zuko say, and her brows instinctively creased. 

“What’s going on?” Y/N asked, crossing her arms as she stopped between Sokka and Zuko. “What are you all talking about?” 

Zuko’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at her. “Uh— good morning.” 

“Good morning,” she said stiffly before repeating herself. “What’s going on?” 

“Zuko knows where to find the man who killed our mother,” Sokka said. He was oddly quiet. 

“And Katara wants to find him,” Aang said, his expression uneasy. 

“Is there a problem with that?” Katara asked defensively. 

“Not if Zuko’s right and you just want closure,” he said. “But I don’t think that’s what this is about. I think it’s about getting revenge.” 

“Maybe it is!” Katara exclaimed, gesturing with one hand. “Maybe it is about revenge, Aang. But don’t you think I deserve it?” 

“You don’t know what it will do to you,” Aang said. “I know how you feel right now, trust me—like violence is the only way to solve your problem. I felt that way after I discovered what happened to my people. But it’s not the only way.” 

“I can’t let him go now that I know I can get to him!” she yelled, her voice rising with her anger. “Maybe it’s what I need—maybe it’s what he deserves.” 

Aang’s eyes widened slightly. “Katara, you sound like Jet.”

“That’s not the same,” she snapped. “Jet hurt the innocent. This man— he’s not innocent. He’s a monster.” 

“Katara, she was my mother too, but I think Aang might be right,” Sokka said. 

She set her jaw. “Then you didn’t love her the way I did.” 

Sokka took a step back as his eyes widened. “Katara…”  

“The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper.” Aang spoke up quickly, trying to fill the air after what she’d said. “While you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself.” 

“That’s cute, but this isn’t Air Temple preschool,” Zuko said. “It’s the real world.” 

“And you think he hasn’t experienced the real world?” Y/N snapped. “I think he knows a little bit about grief after what’s happened to him.” 

Zuko looked at her with a surprisingly level expression, contrasting her narrowed eyes and upturned lip. “Monk pacifism isn’t going to help here.” 

Y/N opened her mouth to retort back but Aang stopped her. “It’s okay. I forgive you, Zuko.��� He looked at Katara. “That’s what you need to do. Forgiveness.” 

Katara laughed in disbelief. “You want me to forgive the man who murdered my mother?” 

“Of course not!” Aang said. “You need to face him—I understand that. But when you face him, you can’t kill him. You have to let the anger flow through you, and then out of you. Accept your emotions, then let them go.” 

“Why should he get to live when our mother is gone?” Katara shouted. “I don’t want to forgive him, I want revenge!” 

“Killing him won’t bring our mother back,” Sokka murmured. “You’ll just have someone else’s blood on your hands.” 

“Good,” she said coldly. “An eye for an eye.” 

“Makes the whole world go blind,” Aang finished. “One of the monks said that back in the temple—violence might feel right, but it just hurts everyone more. Forgiveness is the right choice.” 

“Forgiveness is the same as doing nothing,” Zuko said. 

“No, it’s not,” he said. “It’s easy to do nothing—forgiveness is hard.” 

“It’s not just hard,” Katara snarled, “it’s impossible.” 

Aang looked over at Y/N, who had been silent since her outburst at Zuko. “Y/N, please. You know revenge won’t help her.” 

Y/N looked between the two of them, the steely determination brewing in Katara’s eyes at odds with a desperate softness in Aang’s. Something twisted in her chest, and she had to force herself to look away as she spoke. 

“...Do what you have to,” she said quietly. “Whatever that ends up being.” 

Hurt flickered across Aang’s expression before he looked away, and Katara nodded thankfully at her before she started walking away. Zuko cast a long look at Y/N before he followed her. 

“I’ll see you guys later,” Y/N muttered as she hurried off in the opposite direction, swallowing her doubts as her hands bunched into fists and loosened over and over, desperately needing something to do with them. 

Katara was going after her mother’s killer, and Zuko was helping her with it. Katara, her last line of defense in her feelings against him, was going on her own trip with him. Y/N knew it was for the best—it was something she needed to do and Zuko had the Fire Nation knowledge that no one else in their group possessed, so he was the obvious choice—but a small part of her still couldn’t help but despise it.

He was getting too close, far too close, and she wasn’t going to let that affect her. 

No matter what.

-

Y/N had found a small solace by the cliffside, sitting on the edge as her legs hung off. She could fall just as easily as anything, but maybe it was the danger that calmed her, the fact that she was in control of what would happen. She heard the footsteps before anything though, and her body tensed up instinctively as she whirled around. 

“It’s just me,” Toph said, her blank gaze aimed at the ground. “You’re jumpier than usual.” 

“How can you tell?” 

“I can hear every ant on this cliffside through their movements,” she said. “Your heart rate spiked so much that even a baby could tell you’re off. You’ve been off, ever since you came back.”

She smiled wryly. “I’m still getting used to everything again. It’s not an easy transition.” 

“But you’re here,” Toph said, and she sat down next to her. “You’ve been through everything, and you’re still here. That means you’re tougher than everything the Fire Nation has tried to throw at you.” 

“How can you say that so easily?” Y/N asked. “I’ve flipped out on everyone at least twice for no reason. I constantly have nightmares about what’s happened. I— I can’t even bend because Zuko still has this stupid hold on me. I don’t feel tough. I feel weaker than ever.” 

“You’re still here,” Toph repeated, emphasizing each word. “So many other people would have given up by now if they were in your position. But you didn’t—you fought, and you continued to fight until you won, no matter how long it took you. That’s what makes you tough—not all the stuff you’ve been through, but the fact that you’re still standing at the end of it.” 

“When did you become so wise?” she joked weakly, her gaze trailing off into the horizon. The sun was beginning to set, beautiful reds and oranges blending with deep purple. It reminded her of the night everything changed. 

“Someone had to keep these dunderheads together while you were busy in prison.” Y/N chuckled a bit, but she could see Toph’s expression sober in her peripherals. “...I’ve just been worried about you.”

“Really?”

Toph punched her on the arm without looking. “Does that make you believe me?” 

Y/N managed a small smile as she rubbed the spot. “Yeah.” 

“Good. Because I don’t know how much sappy stuff I can take.” 

Her smile widened as she wrapped an arm around Toph and pulled her closer. “So you do love me.” 

“Let go of me!” she protested. “This is the worst kind of sappy stuff!”

But Toph made no move to get away from her, and Y/N laughed. “Just admit it. You missed me.” 

“Of course I missed you,” she huffed. “Without you, I actually had to do all the work with Katara instead of knocking Twinkle Toes around with earthbending or practicing on my own. It was horrible.” 

“I missed you too, Toph,” Y/N said with a smile. “I didn’t realize how much I appreciated your tough love until I didn’t have it.”

“I have plenty saved up for you, Snowflake,” Toph grinned, “so don’t worry.” But her expression sobered, and she paused. 

“...I’m here for you,” she said after a moment. “If you need anything, or just someone to listen to. I’m good at listening to people complain.” 

“Thank you,” she said, her smile softening. “That means more than you know.” 

And as the two of them sat there in silence, nothing being said verbally but more in the air between them than ever, she felt content once again. She didn’t realize how much she just needed to talk to somebody. First her conversation with Katara and now with Toph—her friends really were the secret to making her feel better. 

…Things would be okay again, Y/N thought to herself. No matter how long it took, her friends would be there for her. 

Things would be okay again. 

She would be okay again. 

-

“They’ve been gone for too long,” Sokka grumbled. 

“It’s been two days,” Aang said. “Zuko said the man they were after was retired—it can’t be easy to find a retired Fire Nation soldier, no matter how knowledgeable you are about the navy.” 

“That’s too long,” Sokka insisted as he crossed his arms. While Y/N, Aang, Suki, Toph sat together in a loose arc, Sokka was up and pacing. He had been for the past twenty minutes.

“Can you sit down, Sokka?” Y/N asked. “You’re stressing me out.” 

“You should be stressed out!” he exclaimed, flinging his arms up. “The boy prince of betrayal went off with my impressionable sister on a murder field trip. There is no reason to not be stressed out!” 

“You need to give Sugar Queen more credit,” Toph said. “If Zuko tries anything, he’s the one that should be worried. Not the other way around.” 

“Toph’s right,” Aang said, but then he frowned. “And I thought you trusted Zuko.” 

“Not when he’s alone with my sister on a murder field trip!” Sokka heaved a long sigh as he stopped, staring out into the distance. Even though their island was one of a big scattered chain, they were still extremely isolated. It was unnerving sometimes, especially at night. “She feels everything so strongly, and… and she’s always felt guilty about what happened to Mom. I know she thinks this is her chance to make it up to her, to do what she wished she could have done on that day. But I also know that if she goes through with it, she’ll regret it for the rest of her life.” 

“She’ll make the right choice,” Y/N murmured. “I know she will.” 

Aang suddenly perked up, and he turned around. When he did, his eyes widened. “They’re back.” 

They all turned around to see Appa touching down at camp, but only one person dismounted. 

“Where’s Katara?” Y/N instantly asked, her eyes narrowing as she darted up. 

“She’s fine,” Zuko said, but when he glanced at Aang she could see his nerves. “She… she’s back at the dock. At the soldier’s village.” 

“Did she…?” Aang didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to. 

“No. He’s terrified out of his mind, but he’s alive.” A weight was visibly lifted off of Sokka’s shoulders with the single word, and Aang nodded. 

“That’s… that’s good.” 

“She said she needed some time to herself,” Zuko murmured. “I figured it was only right to bring you back with me.” 

“I’m coming too,” Sokka said.

“Me too,” Y/N spoke up. She could feel Zuko’s gaze on her, but she didn’t meet it. 

“I’ll stay back,” Toph said. “Someone has to hold this place down.” 

“I will too,” Suki said, and she gave Sokka a light kiss on the cheek. “I hope she’s okay.” 

“She will be,” Sokka said softly. “Eventually.” 

Zuko nodded and started walking back towards Appa. “Let’s get back, then. It’s a bit of a ride.” 

-

Soon enough, they were all in the village, and Aang jumped off Appa as soon as he’d guided him close enough. 

“Katara!” he exclaimed as he ran towards her, sitting on the edge of the dock. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m doing fine,” she murmured. Her voice was placid as the water she sat above, but it was strained. 

“Zuko told me what you did,” Aang said softly. “Or… what you didn’t do, I guess. I’m proud of you.” 

“I wanted to do it,” she said stiffly. “I wanted to take out all my anger on him, and I almost did. But… but I just couldn’t. I don’t know if it’s because I’m too weak to do it or strong enough not to.” 

“You did the right thing,” Y/N said. “Facing that man makes you stronger than he could ever hope to be.” 

“Forgiveness is the first step you have to take towards healing,” Aang said. 

Katara stood up, and her gaze was a mixture of sadness and acceptance. But it was obvious the ordeal was still weighing on her. “I didn’t forgive him. I’ll never forgive him. But…” she looked past them and over at Zuko, the smallest of smiles pulling at her lips. “...I am ready to forgive you.” 

She walked up to Zuko and hugged him, and after a moment of hesitation Zuko smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Y/N clenched her jaw and started walking back over to Appa. 

She was happy Katara got closure, of course she was. But in the process, she had forgiven Zuko. She was her confidante, the one person who understood how deep her anger towards him went. She had been by Y/N’s side throughout their whole journey, at each and every road block, she was there for Ba Sing Se—for all of Ba Sing Se. 

And somehow, Zuko had gotten her to forgive him too. 

It was selfish, unbelievably so, for it to hurt her so much when Katara had just faced something impossible. But she couldn’t help the way that her chest twisted, how her heart ached, how her nails dug so deep into her palms they left indentations. 

When the rest of them got back onto Appa, Katara sat down next to her. “Thank you for coming.” 

“Of course.” She didn’t make eye contact, her gaze focused into the distance as Aang set off for camp. “I’m glad you got to face him. That you made the right decision for you.” 

“Y/N,” she murmured, “I know what this is about.” 

“It’s not about anything except you,” she evaded. “This was a journey you had to take—we’re all behind you.” 

“And you have all my thanks for that,” Katara said. She glanced at Zuko on the other side of the saddle, very obviously trying to pretend like he wasn’t listening in on their conversation. He wasn’t very good at it. “But I know you’re upset about… that.” 

“We don’t need to talk about this right now,” she said. 

“Y/N…”

She didn’t say anything. Katara sighed and settled back down on the saddle. 

“Okay,” she nodded. “When you’re ready.”

Quiet conversation was made on the other side of the saddle between the three boys, but there was nothing between Katara and Y/N. 

Nothing except a newly found weight on both their shoulders. 

- 

The sizzling fuse exploded when they got back to camp, though. A ride spent staring at the sky didn’t do much for her. Y/N got down from Appa the moment Aang guided him to the ground, and Katara let out a hefty sigh as she followed after her. She started to say her name, but she didn’t get far. 

“Even you forgave him.” Her words were cold, icy rather than hot anger. “Even you! After everything we’ve talked about— everything you know!” 

“I— I know,” Katara said, and she let out a deep sigh as she ran a hand through her loose hair. “But… but he helped me in a way that no one ever had. I found my mother’s killer. I got closure.” 

“Well, maybe I should get him to help me find the guard who killed my father,” Y/N said sarcastically. “Maybe that’ll get me my bending back.” 

“It could,” Katara said, and she was actually genuine. “It could work. And Zuko would help you.” 

She huffed a mirthless laugh and shook her head, biting the inside of her lip to prevent the tears she knew would start welling up. “I’m not letting him back in. Even you said I shouldn’t.” 

“I can’t say I know how much you’re hurting,” Katara said, “but… but Zuko is hurting just as much as you. There’s no excuse for what he did, I’m not saying that. But he wants your forgiveness more than anything in the world.” 

“Did he tell you to say this during your trip?” she asked stiffly. “I mean, now that he’s turned you over to his side and everything.” 

“I’m saying this because I care about you,” Katara said softly. “Y/N, I have seen you hurting for months now, all because of Zuko. Even from the first moment we met in the North, I knew there was something inside of you, and it’s still there. And if you don’t take care of it, it’s going to consume you.” 

“I can’t forgive him.” Her voice was barely a whisper, a cracked, haunted resolve behind it. “I won’t let myself get hurt again.” 

“And I can’t promise that he won’t hurt you again,” Katara murmured. “But I do know if you decide to let him back in, he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to you.” 

Y/N wasn’t able to muster any words. She wrapped her arms around her midsection and turned away, blinking back tears. 

“He talked about you,” she continued. “When he wasn’t talking about the Fire Nation and where we were going, he was talking about you. He loved you back then, and he still loves you now. Even if it took him way too long to realize it.” Katara’s expression softened as well as her voice and she took a step closer. “All he wants is to help you however he can.” 

“If he loved me then and he still betrayed me,” she whispered, “then how can I ever trust him again?” 

“...You just have to,” Katara said quietly. “Trust in the Zuko you knew before you were forced to be on opposite sides. When the two of you were the missing half of each other’s souls.” 

She swallowed the lump in her throat, still unable to look back at Katara. “I can’t.” 

“Then at least don’t push us away,” Katara urged. “You’ve been off. I don’t know what it’s about, but you can tell me as little or as much as you want, whenever you’re ready. I’m here for you—we’re all here for you, Y/N. We love you so much. Let us help you.” 

She bit down on her lip hard to prevent the tears from welling up, and she was only able to muster a nod. “I will. Soon.” 

“...Okay.” 

Y/N walked off, and she could feel Katara’s worried gaze on her. It took all her strength not to look back. 

-

Three days. 

It all went on as usual. Suki asked if she was okay, but she didn’t push. 

Sokka wouldn’t stop looking at her strangely. He must have heard her leaving her tent in the middle of the night. 

-

Two days. 

The nightmares were worse. She nearly woke up screaming. Thankfully, she didn’t wake Katara. 

Aang sat with her during breakfast, telling ancient airbender stories. He didn’t ask anything when he had to repeat himself because of her blank stare at the ground. 

She spent most of the day sitting by the water. 

Maybe it would come back after this. 

-

One day. 

Everyone knew something was wrong, but she didn’t give any of them the chance to ask.

Especially Zuko. He wouldn’t stop looking at her, wouldn’t stop trying to talk to her. She brushed him off every time. 

She packed her bag that night. 

She barely slept a wink. 

-

“What are you doing?” 

Her plan was to leave at the crack of dawn, before her friends could ask any questions or try to go with her. She would be back by nightfall, and she would have closure. The nightmares would stop. The guilt would go away. She would be okay again. 

But of course, he had to ruin everything. 

She didn’t look over at the sound of Zuko’s voice as she rifled through her bag, making sure she had everything she needed. “Nothing.” 

“That doesn’t look like nothing.” 

“Very perceptive, aren’t you?” she said dryly. Y/N tied her bag shut and stood up, then climbed onto Appa’s back. “I’m leaving.” 

His eyes widened. “You’re leaving? Does everyone else know about this?” 

“Not leaving for good,” she scoffed. “I just have something I need to do.” 

“And that is?” 

Y/N glared fully at Zuko. “None of your business.” 

“You’re taking Appa in the middle of the night to go somewhere,” he said, crossing his arms. “Every time someone’s tried to do that, it’s been for something important. Sokka was going to the Boiling Rock, and Katara wanted to find her mother’s killer. I’m guessing whatever you’re going to do is equally important, which means you’re gonna need backup.” 

“I said it was none of your business,” she repeated. “I can handle myself just fine without you.”

“Well,” Zuko crossed his arms, “I’m not leaving until you tell me what you’re doing.” 

“You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met,” she jabbed. 

“You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” he responded with a shrug.  

She went silent for a moment as her gaze traveled away, staring instead at the dark night sky. Today had been the hardest day yet, even looking back on her months in captivity. It was the day everything changed. She didn’t exactly know what possessed her to tell Zuko the reason, but after a moment, she did. 

“Seven years ago today, my village was invaded,” she said quietly. “It’s the day my mother and I were captured, and… and the day my father was killed.” 

Zuko’s eyes widened, and his voice was the same as hers when he finally mustered something. “I… I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” 

“So am I,” she said, “but apologies haven’t helped me with anything. I’m going back. I’m visiting my village for the first time since my mother and I were taken. Now that I have the means to travel there, it’s something I need to do.” 

“I understand,” Zuko said, “completely. I’ll come with you.” 

Her response was instantaneous. “No.” 

“You can’t travel that far alone,” he insisted. “I have no doubt that you can handle yourself, but you’ve trained to fight with your bending, and right now you don’t have it. If you run into any kind of trouble, you’re… well, you’re gonna be in trouble.” 

“I can fight,” she said. “I’m good with my fists. I held my own against Azula.” 

“You did,” he admitted, “but her skill also isn’t in her hand to hand. And if you’re up against multiple people—say, Fire Nation guards—you’re gonna go down quick.” 

“You have just as much faith in me as ever,” she remarked sourly. 

“It’s not that I don’t have faith in you!” Zuko defended. “I just don’t want you to die because you have too much pride to accept any kind of help.” 

“It’s not that I don’t want any help,” she stated. “I just don’t want your help.” 

Zuko let out a long-lasting sigh, shaking his head before he finally met her eyes again. “Look. I know you don’t like me, and you don’t have to. Not after… not after what I did. But whatever’s between us can’t affect our mission, because ultimately we’re all here to defeat my father. That has to happen no matter what, so like it or not, we’re probably gonna have to work together at least once to make that happen.” 

“I don’t have to work with you if I don’t want to,” she said. 

“Really? So if we’re in the middle of a fight and your choice is to either work with me or die, what would you do?” 

“I’m not that stupid,” she snapped. 

Annoyingly, though… he had a point. They couldn’t afford any distractions, not so close to the end. And Y/N wouldn’t be the reason for their failure because of Zuko. 

“...Fine,” she relented, but the glare she pinned him with was still withering. “But you do whatever I tell you to do, and you don’t come with me when we get to my village. This is private.” 

Zuko immediately broke out into a grin and he nodded. “Of course. I’m here for you.” 

She averted her gaze as she took her seat on Appa’s head. “Get your things before I leave you here.” 

He nodded again and he started off towards his tent. Y/N let out a loose sigh as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms, the early morning chill beginning to get to her. 

A trip with Zuko to her childhood village on the anniversary of the worst day of her life. 

This couldn’t go terribly at all, she thought wryly. 

-

“...So,” Zuko said, “do you know where we’re going?” 

“No,” she said, “I just thought I would lead Appa around blindly and hope that we somehow end up in the right place.” 

“So you do know—” 

“Of course I know where we’re going,” Y/N snapped. Maybe it was unfair of her, but she didn’t exactly care. “Sokka took a map from Wan Shi Tong’s library before it collapsed, and he let me borrow it. It’ll take us a couple of hours, but we should make it before noon.” 

Zuko nodded. “Where is your village? You never told me much about it when you talked about your past.” 

“Why do you care?” 

He huffed a laugh. “You can’t be serious.” 

She said nothing, and Zuko sighed. “I care about you, Y/N, more than anything. I’m here because I want to help you. Of course I care about where you’re from.” 

“That doesn’t mean we need all the small talk,” she said. 

“It’s not small talk, it’s a conversation,” Zuko said dryly. “I’m more than happy to sit here in silence with you for another six hours, but I think that’s pretty boring.” 

“...It’s by the southern coast, near the Zeizhou provinces,” she relented after a moment. “It’s so small that you can’t find it on a map unless you know what you’re looking for. We didn’t even have an official name—if we had to, we called it South Zeizhou because that was the only notable thing near us.” 

“What was it like?” he asked. “Growing up in a place like that.” 

“It was nice,” she said. “We were almost completely isolated from other villages, so we were tightly knit. Everyone knew each other—I’m sure I knew each person by name by the time I was five—and everyone helped each other. We didn’t have much, but everyone was well taken care of. Our community was everything.” 

“That sounds beautiful,” Zuko murmured. 

“It was,” she agreed. “Until your people invaded it and destroyed it.” 

Zuko went silent at that, but instead of the sick sort of satisfaction she normally experienced, she felt… guilty. 

It wasn’t his fault. Zuko was only a year older than her—when her village was invaded, he was probably in school lessons or learning how to be a prince. And now he was here, going against everything he knew, everything he’d ever had, to try and make things right. 

He was a child just like her. And with a father like Fire Lord Ozai… 

“...I’m sorry,” she said, and his eyes darted up, a bit of shock visible in them. “I know it wasn’t your fault. I just…” she sighed. “I’ve never forgiven the Fire Nation for what was done to my people. And I guess you’re just the easiest target.” 

“I understand,” he murmured. “And for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry too.” 

“This doesn’t mean anything.” The words were quick to leave her mouth, and she didn’t look at him. “Just because I feel bad doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you.” Nevertheless, she could still hear the smile in his voice. 

“I know.” 

More silence. 

“What was your father like?” Zuko asked as he broke it. “You speak of him so fondly.” 

She bit her lip at the question as the memories flooded back, and Zuko was stumbling over his words almost immediately. 

“You— you don’t have to answer,” he said, “obviously, if it’s too much, but I—” 

“He was the nicest man you’d ever meet,” she said softly. “He was always willing to help anyone who needed it, always willing to do far more than he had to if he thought it would make someone happy. And he did—he made my mother the happiest woman alive. He was beloved by everyone in the village.” Y/N swallowed hard. “He died to protect it. To protect me.” 

“You’ve made him proud,” Zuko said. “I know you have.” 

“I hope so,” she murmured. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

She meant to leave it at that, but for some reason, the words continued to flow. “But I… I’m worried about what will happen when I get there.” that they won’t recognize me when I come back.” 

Zuko frowned. “What do you mean?”

“It’s been years since I was there.” Y/N let go of the reins and wrung her hands together. She glanced down at the bandages, the rough fabric almost a comfort after her time without them. “I haven’t been back since I was captured. What if they resent me for not being there?” 

“No one could possibly resent you for that,” he scoffed. “You were taken, Y/N, by soldiers. You were a child—what could you have done?” 

“Anything,” she muttered. “If I had done anything, maybe things would have been different.” 

“You can’t do that to yourself,” Zuko insisted. “You’ll drive yourself insane going down that path.” 

She shrugged. “That doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” 

“Look at me.” 

Y/N frowned. “What?” 

“Turn around and look at me,” he said again. “And don’t do your stubborn I hate Zuko thing. Just humor me for once.” 

She scoffed and crossed her arms as she turned around, looking him in the eye. “What?” 

“Do you think it’s Katara’s fault that her mother is dead?” 

The jump to the topic made her blink, recoiling the slightest bit. “What? No— spirits, of course not.” 

“But she died to save her,” Zuko said. “The raiders were there looking for the last waterbender, and that was Katara. Her mother gave herself up in place of her.” 

“That’s not her fault,” she said. “Her mother ch—” 

It hit her then, and her eyes narrowed. “You’re not clever.” 

The slightest smile tugged at Zuko’s lips and he shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it?” 

“You’re not clever,” she simply repeated, and she turned back around and grabbed the reins. She couldn’t see Zuko’s pleased expression as he adjusted his position in the saddle. 

“Just trying to help,” he said, and his voice softened. “You’ve made your father proud, even if you don’t think so. You’ve made both your parents proud.” 

She didn’t respond. She feared that if she tried to, the tears would spring. And she wasn’t going to cry. 

But she appreciated his words more than he knew. Maybe even more than she knew. 

But she couldn’t say that. And so they rode in silence. 

-

“We’re almost here,” she announced, and she lightly tugged at Appa’s reins to get him to slow down. It had been a few hours of silent flying and navigating, but they’d made good time. By the spot of the sun in the sky, she could tell it was just before noon. 

“Good,” he said. 

They had been in the air for hours, starting even before the sun had risen, so it was no surprise when she glanced behind her and saw Zuko fighting off grogginess in the form of a barely stifled yawn. 

“You didn’t have to come, you know,” she said, maybe a little too snippy. 

“I wasn’t going to let you go alone,” Zuko said. “And even though you might not think so, I like being around you. I…” he sighed and shook his head. “Nevermind.” 

“What?”

“I just want things to be the way they used to be,” he murmured. “But I know that can’t happen. And I know you’re tired of hearing it.” 

“...I want that too,” she said quietly after a moment of hesitation. 

She heard the rustling of leather and a sharp intake of breath, and it wasn’t hard to tell he was shocked by her words. And maybe she was shocked too, because she knew she meant them completely. 

“Y/N,” Zuko started, “you—” 

But then he was interrupted by her gasp. 

“What?” he asked, only a moment of hesitation before he switched veins. He moved up beside her, and his eyes widened. “Flames of Agni…” 

In the distance, she could see where the forest abruptly stopped. It went on for kilometers, the ashy remnants of fauna and chopped stumps. So much of the forest was just— was just gone. And in the center of it all…

Her village was unrecognizable. Houses made of wood and stone had been torn down and replaced with metal buildings, and the few original buildings that still were in disrepair, riddled with scorch marks and on the verge of falling apart. She could see armed Fire Nation soldiers manning certain spots around the village, as well as marching through the streets. They numbered far more than anyone in simple Earth Kingdom garb. 

Flags and banners with Fire Nation insignias hung everywhere, but the worst part was the factory. It was as big as ten of their old homes, black, polished metal only good for serving as an eyesore. It pumped out acrid black smoke, and even from so far away it made her eyes sting. Her hands clenched into fists around the reins, and anger swelled up inside of her. 

Everything that was held sacred in her village was gone, ruined by the Fire Nation for their own gain. Just like everything else in the world.

And she hadn’t even known about it. 

“The Fire Nation is still here,” she said shakily. “I… I don’t know what I expected. I thought they would move on after the raid, but…” She barely managed to choke back a sob by clenching her jaw tightly. “They destroyed it all.” 

“I’m so sorry.” There was horror in Zuko’s voice, and like her, he was unable to look away from the devastation. “I… If I had known…” 

“Sorry isn’t going to fix anything,” she said bitterly, but it was more pained than anything. 

“Then we will fix it,” he countered. Her eyes flicked up to him, the smallest bit of surprise visible. “We’ll take your village back and get the Fire Nation out, once and for all.” 

Y/N’s grip tightened even further on the reins, her nails digging deep into her palms as she nodded. Her eyes hardened as they moved back to her village, and she nodded resolutely. 

“You’re damn right we will.” 

-

“Are you okay?” 

“Of course I’m not okay,” she said. She wanted to snap at him, but she didn’t have the energy. Not after what she’d seen. 

She and Zuko had set up camp a while away from her village, deep in what remained of the forest to give Appa enough cover. Though she wanted to light a fire, she knew it was too risky. And so they sat together on the ashy, barren ground, the air between them heavier than ever. 

They were going to take back her village, that much was a given. The only question was how. 

“You’re right,” he murmured. “It was a stupid question.” 

“I just don’t understand,” she said weakly as she sat back on the ground. “Why would they stay in our village? We’re so far off the map that it’s probably costing them more to be here than not.”

“That’s what the Fire Nation does,” Zuko said. “They destroy everything they get their hands on.”

When Y/N looked up at him, he was staring at the ground, his jaw clenched. 

“It’s about breaking their spirit,” he continued. “If they just left, your people could fight back. Get revenge for the invasion. But if they take over completely—”

“They crush an uprising before it has the chance to grow,” she murmured, “and they gain a workforce and all the natural resources they could want.”

“Yeah.”

Zuko’s voice was oddly quiet, stilted in a way she couldn’t place. She couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“What happened when you went back to the Fire Nation?”

Zuko glanced at her, swallowing hard before he looked away. “I’m not sure you want to know.”

“I do,” she said. “And I think I have the right to know.”

“Mai and I got together.” He sounded almost embarrassed, and she hated the twist of jealousy in her chest. “We talked during the entire boat ride home, and it went from there.”

“Oh,” she said stiffly. “So while I was sentenced to rot in prison for the rest of my life, you were getting busy with the girl who’s loved you her whole life.”

His cheeks flushed bright red in spite of the obvious anger. “That’s not what it was!”

“Really? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like.”

“We were both struggling,” he insisted. “I… I wasn’t handling Ba Sing Se well, and Mai was having doubts about everything. We gravitated towards each other in our misery, and— and it just happened.”

“You can’t honestly believe that’s true,” she snapped.

“You don’t know anything about Mai if you think it isn’t!” he exclaimed. “Neither of us were—”

“What?” she asked, brazen in his silence as he suddenly cut off. “You weren’t what?”

“…We realized that we didn’t like each other in that way,” he finished in a mumble. “Expectations pushed us together. Our own feelings pulled us apart.” Zuko looked back at her this time. “We couldn’t ignore our… our true feelings.”

“And what are those true feelings?” she asked. She couldn’t help the mocking tone in her voice, but the anger was beginning to come back. Mai had never been mean to her back in the palace, but it was hard to forget Omashu and Ba Sing Se. And it wasn’t exactly nice to hear that she and Zuko got together right after she was sentenced to a life in prison. 

“I love you,” he said, “and you know that. But Mai, she—” Zuko shook his head and glanced away. 

“What?” she repeated. 

“...Do you remember Ty Lee?” 

She frowned. “Yeah. She’s tried to kill me a couple times.” 

“That’s who,” he said, and her eyes widened slightly. “They’ve always been close, but… I don’t know. Maybe the pressure of working under my sister brought them together. Maybe me being as horrible as I was pushed her away. But all I know is that Mai has feelings for her, and none for me. And I’m okay with that.” 

“...Ty Lee,” Y/N said, and she managed a chuckle. “I think that’s the last pair I expected.” 

Zuko cracked a smile. “It works, though. I hope they can figure something out.” 

“Yeah,” she mumbled. “Me too.” 

But then Zuko’s expression sobered again as he looked at her, his gaze as piercing as ever. “You know I don’t like her. You know there’s nothing between us. A—and you said you wanted things to be the way they used to be.” His voice was low, but there was no mistaking the edge of desperation in it. “So why can’t they be?” 

“Why does it always come back to us?” she asked bitterly. 

“Because I want there to be an us again so badly,” he said. Zuko’s voice was so genuine it pained her, and she hated how easily he was cracking her resolve. 

The walls used to be easy to keep up, used to be gratifying. But now all it did was hurt. The night was cold, and she longed for his embrace. 

But Zuko was fire. Beautiful, inviting, full of warmth, but able to hurt her just as easily. 

And spirits, that was all she could think about as the scar on her arm stung. The burns on her hands had faded, and Ba Sing Se’s mark was nearly gone as well, but she couldn’t forget.  

“Maybe there can’t be an us again,” she mumbled as she stood up. “And maybe we just both have to accept that.” 

The look in Zuko’s eyes hurt, his downcast expression combined with the same longing she felt. So she walked away towards the forest, or rather what remained of it. 

“I’m going to scout out our surroundings,” she said, though it was half-hearted. “I’ll be back when the sun starts setting. We’ll figure out a plan at nightfall.” 

She’d disappeared into the woods soon enough. If Zuko said something, she didn’t hear it. 

-

She held true to her word, and she was back by nightfall. Zuko had drawn a map of her village in the dirt with a stick, and though it was crude it was accurate. It turned out he had a better memory than she thought, and it also seemed that when they were working towards something like this, it was easier to work through the tension. 

It took the better part of an hour for them to come up with something and actually agree on it, and it was still shakier than he liked—a lot of it relied on her people remembering Y/N the way that she remembered them. But it was a plan, and it could work, so it was good enough. 

Soon enough, they were back on Appa, riding through the inky sky towards her village. Dressed in black from spares Zuko had in his bag—the same outfit he lended Katara during her mission, she was sure—they blended in perfectly. 

“We’re here,” she whispered, and Zuko nodded as he sheathed his sword and moved up next to her on Appa’s head. “Do you remember the plan?” 

“Of course I do,” he said. “Are you dropping down here?” 

“Yeah. I’ll signal when I’m ready for you.” 

He nodded again. “Good luck, Y/N.” 

“...Thanks.” 

She guided Appa closer to the ground, handing the reins off to Zuko when she thought she was close enough. She slid off as quietly as she could, her moccasins doing little to help with the shock of landing but good enough at muffling her movements. There were fewer guards than before, but it still made her nervous. 

Y/N didn’t even dare to breathe as she moved through her village, ducking behind cover when she needed to as she made her way towards one of the only remaining houses. Despite the Fire Nation banner hanging across the front, it still felt like it was her village rather than another forced colony. 

That was something, she supposed. 

She pushed the door open quietly and pulled the fabric down from her face, checking once more to make sure there were no guards before she closed it. And when she turned around, she was met by a wide-eyed woman and a stark-faced man darting up from his spot on the floor. 

It probably wasn’t the best look, showing up dressed in all black in the middle of the night while the village is occupied by soldiers. She could only hope they would recognize her. 

“What are you doing in our home?” he demanded, but his wife shook her head. 

“I must be dreaming,” she whispered, and she stood up as well. “Y/N? Is… is that you?” 

“Leya,” Y/N said, and she felt the pinpricks of tears behind her eyes, “you remember.” 

Leya laughed and clasped her hands together as she moved closer and pulled her into an embrace. “Of course I remember you, darling! How could I forget the little waterbender who always managed to soak my laundry just as it had finished drying?” 

“Gan’s girl,” the man—Lao—marveled, and he laughed as well. “What in Kyoshi’s name are you doing here?” 

“It’s hard to explain,” she said, slightly sheepish as she pulled out of Leya’s hug. “But basically… I’m here to save the village.” 

Lao shook his head with a smile—that same smile she remembered from her youth, a mix of approval and surprise. “You haven’t been here since the invasion and now you’re here to save our village. You haven’t changed a bit.” 

“What can I say?” she said with a slight laugh. “I’ve been busy with the Avatar.” 

“The Avatar?” Leya asked, and Y/N held up her hand. 

“As much as I’d love to tell you both what I’ve been up to all these years, we’re working on a schedule.”

“‘We’?” Lao caught. “Who else is here with you?” 

She didn’t think she could exactly say the crown prince of the Fire Nation, no matter how reformed he claimed to be.

“A friend of the Avatar,” she decided. “He’s waiting for my signal. That’s when the action’s going to start.” 

“What exactly is your plan?” Leya asked tentatively. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but our numbers aren’t the highest. Those who haven’t been sent away as laborers had their spirits broken long ago. There are very few with any kind of fight left in them.” 

“That’s okay,” she said. “I’ve got more than enough fight in me for this whole village. But I need your help.” 

Lao nodded. “Anything.” 

She smiled, a miniscule amount of weight dropping off her shoulders in relief. “Good.” 

-

Appa was stashed securely in the woods, a rucksack full of moon peaches to keep him happy and quiet, but Zuko was still nervous. 

How couldn’t he be, hiding behind a gaudy metal structure pretending to be a house that fit into this village? He was only the traitor boy prince of the Fire Nation, most likely with a wanted poster and a bounty on his head courtesy of his father. 

He wasn’t scared, though. 

Nervous? Sure. But he couldn’t wait to give these soldiers what they deserved. 

Zuko’s eyes snapped towards the sudden movement across the way—the Fire Nation banner had been ripped down from the house Y/N went into, and the woman who did it held her fist in the air for a moment before darting back inside. 

The signal. 

It was time. 

Zuko took a deep breath, pulled his broadswords out of their sheaths, and started moving. 

It didn’t take long to find a guard, standing at his assignment near some light post. Zuko dashed behind him and brought his swords up to his neck. 

“Stay quiet if you want to keep your head,” he said. “Nod if you understand.” 

The guard nodded, but Zuko saw his hand clenching into a fist. He moved one sword down, and he froze in place as the sharp edge settled against his skin. 

“No firebending either,” he growled. “You wanna test my patience some more, or are you ready to cooperate?” 

“I— I’ll cooperate,” he stammered. “Just don’t hurt me, please. What do you want?” 

It was almost pathetic. These people took over an innocent village, and now they were so confident that they stationed guards like this. Zuko wondered if this man even knew what had been done here. 

“Good,” Zuko said. “Who’s in charge here?” 

“General Lee,” he said, and Zuko had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Of course. “He— he’s the one who took over this place at the beginning. The one who ordered the invasion.” 

“And where is he?” 

“The biggest house at the end of the lane,” he said. “You— you can’t miss it.” 

Zuko thanked the soldier for his information by knocking the flat end of one blade against his head, and he took a step back as the man fell to the ground, unconscious. 

Step one complete. 

-

“How is your earthbending?” Y/N asked. She and Lao moved swiftly through the village under the cover of darkness, avoiding soldiers where they were stationed as they conversed in low voices. 

“Not as sharp as it used to be,” Lao said. “I’ve been hiding it since the invasion—otherwise they would have killed me or sent me away. What do you need it for?” 

Once again, that sheepishness came back. The plan she and Zuko created sounded very outlandish when she said it out loud. 

“I want to destroy the factory.” 

“You certainly don't aim low, huh?” Lao chuckled a bit, but he flexed his hands nonetheless. He moved his fist forward and a short pillar of solid rock shot up from the ground. “I’ve still got some of it, at least.”

“That’s why I asked for your help,” she said. “The Fire Nation builds everything out of metal, but I think they forget that rocks are pretty effective against it.” 

Lao smiled as he sent the rock back down into the earth. “I like how you think.” 

She smiled as well, but her head shot up at the movement near them. She stepped protectively in front of Lao, her instincts above anything, but the tension dissolved when she saw it was just Zuko. 

“Did you find out where he is?” she asked, and he nodded. 

“His name is Lee— General Lee,” he said. “The last house,” he pointed, “that way. You can’t miss it.” 

“Good.” She cracked her knuckles. “I have some things I’d like to say to him.” 

“Y/N,” he said, “he’s…” 

“What?” 

“He’s the one who did all of this,” Zuko said. “The one who ordered the invasion. He’s been here ever since.” 

Her jaw clenched as she felt fire ignite inside of her. “Then maybe I have a little bit more to say to him.” 

“Take this.” Zuko took one of his swords off along with its sheath and handed it to her. “Just in case.” 

She nodded, taking some satisfaction in her practice swings before she stashed it across her back, then she looked at Lao. “You two are going to take down the factory together. Is anyone in it still?” 

He shook his head. “Shifts ended a few hours ago. It should be completely empty.” 

“Good.” Y/N looked at Zuko. “How do you feel about causing some explosions?” 

He smirked. “Pretty great.” 

“And how do you feel about crushing a lot of stuff?” she asked, turning to Lao. 

“Even better.” 

“Great,” she smiled. “Obviously, this is going to make a lot of noise. Get out when you feel danger—we might have to bring this fight to the streets.” 

Lao cracked his knuckles. “Gladly. It’s about time we take our home back.” 

“Laya’s alerted the people?” Y/N asked. 

He nodded. “She’s gone house to house—she should be near the end by now. She and the rest of our people will be safe, and anyone who’s willing to fight will be ready for my signal.” 

“Then I think it’s time we split,” Y/N said. 

“Be careful,” Zuko said. “Don’t let your anger blind you.” 

“I’ll do what I have to do,” she said simply. 

Zuko nodded in understanding. “See you on the other side, then.” 

“See you on the other side,” she murmured. 

-

Y/N got used to the weight of the broadsword in her hand as she moved through the village yet again. She was surprised at how easy it was, how inattentive the few guards were. Their confidence would be their downfall. 

It wasn’t hard to find the house of the general. It was so massive it edged on gaudy, obviously built for nothing but the man’s ego. The door wasn’t locked, and she just shook her head as she slid inside. This was ridiculous. 

She closed the door as quietly as she could behind her, and she held her breath as she looked around the first floor. It was eerily empty, eerily silent. Maybe he wasn’t here. 

Y/N tightened the grip on the hilt of the sword as she crept up the stairs, wincing at every creak. The whole upstairs was the general’s room, and she shook her head. This was more luxury than anyone in the village lived in. He’d built his comfort off the pain of her people. 

“Would you like to tell me what you’re doing in my home?” 

She whipped around, her sword instinctively flying up as she stared right at her target. So he was here, and he’d been just as quiet as her. He was younger than she expected, but his eyes told everything she needed to know. 

“General Lee,” she said, and she was surprised at how steady her voice was. “This isn’t your home.” 

“Isn’t it?” He was dressed in a simple tunic and pants, no armor in sight. Good. “I was here when it was built, and as far as I’m aware, it was built for my use.” 

“You took it from my people,” she said. “You took everything from us.” 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific,” he said nonchalantly. “I’ve taken over a lot of villages.” 

“Do you not have any shame?” Y/N demanded, and she pointed her sword at him. He didn’t even flinch. “Destroying the lives of innocent people, tearing apart their homes for resources, occupying them just to show off your strength. You kill people, you destroy families, and you don’t even care?” 

The general had the nerve to smile. “It’s the way of the world. The weak fall, the strong prevail. I guess your people were just weak.” 

Y/N couldn’t control herself after that. She yelled out as she lunged forward and swung with her sword. The general sidestepped her as she whirled back around, and he just laughed. 

“You want to fight, girl?” General Lee mocked. “For what? Your people? Your honor? You won’t get far, I assure you.” 

“For my family!” she growled. “Your men killed my father and forced my mother and I into servitude. I’ve wanted revenge for so many years, and now I can finally get it.” 

His eyes lit with recognition and he raised his eyebrows. “The waterbenders. So you managed to escape—impressive.” 

And then suddenly, there were two massive explosions. They were all the way across town, but it still rocked the foundations of the house. The impact must’ve been felt all over town, surely alerting every guard on duty that something was wrong.

Step two was complete. 

It was Y/N’s turn to smile at the general. “There goes your factory.” 

The general’s mocking confidence melted into cold anger. “You—” 

“Blew it up,” she responded. “Yeah.” 

She lashed out with her sword to force him out of the way, then booked it down the stairs and out of the house. She laughed in pure exhilaration as she saw all of the guards in the street, as well as the general running out of his house. The fire blazing in his hand matched the anger in his eyes. 

“You want a fight, girl?” he growled. “I’ll give you one!” 

General Lee launched the fireball at her and she dodged out of the way, watching as it sizzled against the ground. She held her sword in both hands, beckoning him to come further. It wouldn’t be an easy fight to win against an enraged firebender, but then again—she’d done it before. 

He was far too eager to go against a young girl as he shot fire at her in repetitive blasts. She dodged what she could and slashed through the others with her sword, lunging at him with the blade when Lee gave her space. 

But then fire shot past, narrowly missing her, and her head whipped around. It took these soldiers long enough to realize the fight was happening right next to them. 

“Come on, Zuko,” she muttered as she backed away from the men, the general and the soldiers narrowing in on her. She brandished her sword. “Where are you?”

“You’ve picked a battle that you can’t finish,” General Lee spat as fire lit in his hand, “just like your father!”

Rage hotter than anything before ignited inside of her. And then, everything happened at once. 

The general and his soldiers shot their fire at her. 

Someone yelled at her to duck, and she dropped to the ground. 

As the fire was extinguished above her, General Lee’s eyes widened. He took a step back. “What in Agni’s name—” 

“I’m not too late, am I?” Zuko reached a hand down to her, and Y/N let out a relieved breath. 

“Right on time,” she remarked as she took it and allowed him to help her up. “I’m in a bit of a situation.” 

“I noticed.” Zuko turned to the general and gestured with his head behind them. “I’m sorry, general, but I think someone blew up your factory!”

“Prince Zuko,” he said sourly. “So you’re a traitor as well.”

“I’m not a traitor,” he said, stepping in front of Y/N ever so slightly. “I’m helping free these people from your glorified slavery.”

The general’s eyes narrowed. “So all it takes for the crown prince to give up his values is a pretty face.”

“You’re a sick man,” Zuko spat. “Take your soldiers, leave this village, and we’ll give you the mercy you never extended to her people.”

“I don’t think so,” Lee said, and he smiled. “Don’t worry, though—this’ll all be over soon. Unless you think you can go against every soldier here on your own.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been outnumbered,” Y/N said, and she drew her sword. “Besides—”

“—They’ve got help,” someone interrupted. She looked behind her and saw Lao, followed by a myriad of villagers—some earthbenders, some that were just ready to end this. More than she thought still lived here, more willing to fight than she thought. 

So everyone’s spirit wasn’t broken. 

She smiled. Step three. 

“So you want to make this harder,” General Lee said. “I admire your tenacity, but it won’t do you much good.”

“We’ll see,” Zuko said. 

Lee didn’t even say anything before he started firebending, and Zuko blocked it yet again. The battle immediately escalated from there, earthbenders and soldiers and swordsmen fighting. It was mostly visible in flashes of fire and the occasional lamppost, but it was loud.

Y/N and Zuko fought side by side against the general, their moves seamless—whenever one fell back, the other would step forward. She was surprisingly good with a sword, but it might’ve been her adrenaline.

With the amount of energy and anger pumping through her veins, she was sure she could take on anything at that moment. And having Zuko with her… She would be lying if she said it didn’t help. 

It was a deadly dance between the three of them. Y/N’s sword sung as it cut through the air, and it was in sharp contrast to the explosions of fire in the background and the general’s own bending against them. 

Maybe it was that adrenaline inside of her, or maybe it was the thought of finally getting to deliver justice for her village. Maybe the spirits were finally on her side. But whatever it was, General Lee ended up stumbling as he dodged the sword’s jab at him, and it gave her enough time for Zuko to kick him in the chest and send him backwards. Y/N took the opening and swept his legs, putting all her strength into the single move, and it worked. 

He fell to the ground, a slight grunt being forced out as he landed on his back, and Y/N pointed her sword at his neck. She took immense satisfaction in the flicker of fear in his eyes. 

“Zuko,” she said placidly, “go help the others.” 

He looked at her for a good, long moment before he conceded with a step back. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” 

“I won’t regret this,” she murmured. 

Zuko’s gaze remained on her for another moment before he turned and ran back into the fray. Y/N could do nothing but stare down at the general. The man who took everything away from her in one short afternoon, now defenseless below her blade. 

“So,” she said, “after all this time, all it took was one fight for you to fall.” 

The general gave her a wry smile. “It wasn’t exactly a fair fight.” 

“Neither was the invasion of my village. But that didn’t stop you, did it?” 

“You savages have never understood,” he growled. “No great leader has ever gotten anywhere by being nice, by yielding to the demands of those lesser than him. There’s a reason the Fire Nation is at the world’s helm while every other nation continues to fall to its feet.” 

“Because you go after the defenseless!” she exclaimed. “You go after those who can’t do anything against you, and then you destroy everything you find. All you care about is power.” Y/N huffed a mirthless laugh and gestured around them. “And look where that’s gotten you.” 

“Yield,” she demanded before he had the chance to speak, moving her sword closer to his neck. “Yield, and leave this village, and I’ll let you leave with your life.”

The general laughed, followed by a wince as her blade nicked his skin. “Don’t you know anything about the Fire Nation? You served there for so long.”

“Yield!” she shouted, her voice trembling along with her grip. She just wanted this to be over. 

“We fight until death,” he continued. “You’re going to have to kill me if you want your way.”

“You think I won’t?” she challenged. ”You’ve taken everything from me! Your life is too small a price to pay for what you’ve done!”

“I think you’re weak,” he spat. “Too weak to do what you need to do.”

Her eyes stung with tears as she pulled the sword away from his neck.

General Lee huffed a laugh. “Like I said: you’re wea—”

He was stopped in the middle of his sentence as she plunged the sword into his heart. His eyes widened as he choked out his last breath, the light beginning to drain out of him. And then he was gone.

“I’m not weak anymore,” she murmured. 

Y/N stared at his lifeless body for a moment, glanced at the gleam of blood on metal. 

She had just killed a man. The one responsible for her father’s death, for the imprisonment of her and her mother, for the invasion of her village. 

Y/N didn’t feel remorse, didn’t feel satisfaction—but she felt whole. Like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

She sheathed her sword and walked away, back towards the chaos of the ongoing fight. Zuko had joined the others, fighting with a combination of his sword and his bending, and it worked wonders. For a moment, all she could do was watch him. The grace he fought with was akin to that of a waterbender. 

Lao moved like he was twenty years younger, working in tandem with other earthbenders as they took down the Fire Nation forces soldier by soldier. Toph would have been proud.

But now there was only one thing left to do. 

Y/N took a deep breath then cupped her hands around her mouth, yelling as loudly as she could. “Soldiers of the Fire Nation! Your general is dead!”

That was enough of a shock to knock them off their balance, because Zuko and the earthbenders all immobilized their foes. Zuko with a sword to the neck, Lao and his crew with rocks around their legs and other limbs. The fight died down quickly, all of them staring at her. Zuko’s expression was impossible to read. 

“You heard me,” she repeated, “General Lee is dead. You have no stake in this village anymore. Leave, or face the same fate as him.”

“Will you stand here and fight for a nation that doesn’t care about you?” Zuko shouted, catching on to her goal. “Or will you do what’s right and leave these people be?”

Silence hung in the air, only broken by the heaved breaths of soldiers and earthbenders alike. She stared at them all expectantly, her heart pounding in her chest. 

And then, the clatter of a sword against the ground.

“I surrender.” A soldier being held in place by rocks around her ankles had dropped her weapon, looking Y/N straight in the eye. “I’ve served the Fire Nation blindly for far too long.”

She nodded at the earthbender, and he retracted the stone around her. 

“Go,” Y/N said. “Back to wherever you came from.” 

“Your mercy…” the soldier murmured, and she shook her head. “Thank you for giving us a second chance. I know it means little, but I apologize. For everything.”

And then she walked off—in the direction of the shore, she noticed—and soon enough, she’d disappeared into the wood. They must’ve come in on ships. 

Slowly, the remaining soldiers either dropped their weapons or declared their own surrender, and one by one they were let go. The sound of clattering metal was music to her ears, and with each one the weight lifted a little more. 

The soldier in Zuko’s hold was the last to drop his sword, and Zuko kicked it away before removing his blade from his neck. As he walked away, she let out a sigh of relief.

“…We did it,” she said. “We finally did it.”

“You did it,” Zuko said as he sheathed his sword, doing the same to the other when Y/N handed it to him. “None of this would have been possible without you.” 

“Wouldn’t have been possible without you either,” she said, and the smallest smile tugged at his lips. 

Lao walked up to her, and he enveloped her in the biggest, tightest hug she’d felt since Katara’s at the air temple. She reciprocated immediately, tears springing into her eyes at the warmth he carried. 

“You did it,” he said, his voice and eyes full of pride as he pulled away, though his hands remained on her shoulders. “You’ve given us the freedom that none of us could attain in seven years. We owe everything to you, Y/N.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said, unable to help her grin, and she looked back at the other villagers. “Any of you—thank you so much. Tonight, you fought for our people! You fought for our village! And we’re finally free from the Fire Nation.” 

A wild cheer erupted from the group, and Y/N had to wipe away the tears that began to fall. They’d really done it. 

“Go, be with your families!” she exclaimed. “Celebrate with your loved ones! You deserve it—enjoy your freedom!” 

Several of the villagers clapped her on the shoulder or shook her hand as they began to wander around, returning back to their houses. She heard one discussing architectural plans, about what they would do with everything the Fire Nation left behind, as well as their houses. The smile wouldn’t leave her face. 

And then Zuko walked up, alerting her to his presence by clearing his throat. “Y/N,” he said, and she turned around. 

“What?” 

“First of all, congratulations.” His own small smile was there, and she felt her cheeks warm. “You freed your village from a seven year occupation. It’s amazing.” 

“It feels amazing.” She rubbed her arms, the cold of the night beginning to get to her as her adrenaline from the battle started to fade. “I can’t believe we did it.” 

“I’m not surprised,” Zuko said. “You can do anything you put your mind to—I’ve learned that twenty times over by now.” 

She chuckled a bit, but Zuko’s expression sobered. “But I have to ask. You… you killed the general.” 

The air between them immediately changed. “I did.” 

“How do you feel?” he asked. 

“I don’t feel happy,” Y/N said, “so you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going to start killing everyone that’s ever wronged me.” 

Zuko laughed, though it was slightly nervous. “That’s, uh— that’s good.” 

“But I don’t feel sad either,” she said. “I just feel… right. Like it was something I had to do. Not just for my people, but for me. To know that he’ll never be able to hurt someone the way he hurt me.” 

“...Good,” Zuko repeated. “That’s all we can ask for, isn’t it?” 

She nodded. “But… I’d appreciate it if you kept this between us. At least until I’m ready to tell everyone.” 

“Of course,” he agreed. 

“Good,” she said. 

Y/N looked up at the sky, the sun having fully set. It was dark except for the bits of ashes that littered the battlefield and the lanterns that lit up the path through the village. But there was still something she needed to do. 

She looked back at Zuko. “I have something I need to see. And I want you to come with me. Is… is that okay?” 

He smiled, his voice soft when he spoke. “I’d love to.” 

- 

The path she led him down was one well-traveled by the people of her village—the inky darkness they walked through was penetrated only by the flames Zuko held in his hand at Y/N’s request. She knew she would be able to find her way without it, though. 

“Where are we going?” he asked. 

“Somewhere special,” Y/N answered. “Sad, but special. Somewhere I’ve thought about a lot since my mother and I were taken.” 

It took a few more minutes of walking in silence only disturbed by night ambiance. When they got there, Y/N let out a quiet sigh. There was unimaginable weight behind the sound. 

“We’re here.” 

“Where is ‘here’?” Zuko asked tentatively. But then he made the fire in his hand bigger and brighter, and his breath caught in his throat. 

“...Hi, Dad,” she said softly, her gaze focused on the headstone. “It’s me. Your little girl finally found her way back home.” 

“Y/N…” he murmured. 

“I’ve been wanting to come here for a long time, but I’ve never been able to,” she continued. “But you don’t have to worry anymore—the village is free. The Fire Nation is gone. And Mom is okay—she’s safe in Ba Sing Se, and after all of this is over, I’m going to find her again, and I’m going to take care of her. You don’t have to worry about us anymore.” Y/N chuckled. “I’m sure I’ve been driving you crazy with everything I’ve been doing lately. But you can rest in peace now.”  

“Are you sure you want me here?” he asked. “I— I don’t want to disturb you—” 

She shook her head, placing her hand lightly on his arm. “Stay. Please.” 

“...Okay,” he said. “Of course.” 

“This is Zuko,” she said, and she laughed a bit as he hesitantly waved. “He’s… he’s the most important person in my life.” 

His eyes widened a bit and he looked at her, but her only response was to wordlessly slip her hand into his. He didn’t hesitate to lace his fingers through hers. 

“We’ve been through a lot together, and I’ve… I’ve been really angry at him lately. And I thought it was good, righteous anger, but all it did was eat me up inside. I’ve been miserable because of it—I even lost my bending. But now… now, I understand.” 

She looked at Zuko now. His gaze hadn’t moved. 

“I love you,” she said, “and I mean that with everything in me. I’ve been so angry at you because of what you did that I haven’t let myself think about anything that you’ve done—and you’ve helped my friends so much since you joined them. You’ve helped me too, even when I claimed I didn’t need anyone.” 

“And all this time, I thought that letting you go was what I needed to do. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.” She tightened her grip on his hand—her lifeline. “I’ve lost so much in my life, Zuko, things that I can’t get back. And I’m not going to let myself lose you again.” 

Y/N pressed a gentle kiss to Zuko’s lips, and he extinguished the fire in his hand as he immediately reciprocated it. It was impossibly soft, impossibly right. And Y/N knew then that this was exactly where she was supposed to be. 

“I love you too,” he murmured, and his eyes shone even in the darkness. “More than anything. And I’m so sorry that I ever made you think anything else.” 

She pulled away from the kiss to embrace him, and when his arms wrapped around her, it was like home. The constant twist in her chest, the constant weight she’d been carrying for months—it dissipated, and she felt lighter than ever. Spirits, it all felt so right. 

And when they pulled away, Y/N rested her head on Zuko’s chest. He responded by wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her in close. 

“Thank you for taking me here,” he said. “For trusting me enough with it.” 

“Thank you for never giving up on me,” she said. 

“Speaking of that…” Zuko said, and there was a slight lilt to his voice as he lit the fire in his hand again. “How about trying that bending again?” 

Y/N chuckled a bit as she looked at her hand, flexing her fingers the way she used to. She barely had to concentrate as she pulled moisture from the air, forming into an orb of water in the air. She wasn’t even shocked—she’d known, after they got here. It wasn’t anything concrete, just… a feeling. A feeling that order had returned. 

“It’s back,” he said, and the boyish surprise in his voice made her smile. 

“That it is.” 

Y/N formed it into a flower and then froze it, gingerly taking the stem in her fingers. She walked up to her father’s grave, running her fingers over the engravings. She wasn’t here when it was made, but she was so thankful it had been made. That her people had always been thinking of her and her family. 

GAN 

HUSBAND OF KURA, FATHER OF Y/N

48 AG-93 AG

WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR HIS LOVE AND HEROICS

It was bittersweet, but she was glad he had a spot here. He would always be remembered. 

She carefully placed the flower of ice against the headstone, lowering the temperature of her breath as she blew on it to preserve it longer. It would melt eventually, of course, but this wouldn’t be her last time here. Next time, there would be real flowers. 

“I love you, Dad,” she murmured, resting her head against the stone as she closed her eyes. “Forever and always.” She stayed there for a moment, and the gentle breeze that blew through the enclave was no coincidence. For the first time in a very, very long time, she felt peace inside. 

She stood back up with a sad smile, wiping at the tears before she turned to Zuko. “I’m ready.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Y/N nodded. “I am.” 

Zuko nodded too, and they started to walk together down the path. 

And when he offered his hand, she took it without hesitation. 

-

hope you enjoyed this mf emotional marathon of a chapter lmao im gonna go hibernate for a few months because jfc

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[pixies-and-poets]

Smithy Gang Headcanons

Hi, friends! I'm extremely grateful for the positive feedback on The Forging, and definitely want to write more SMRPG stuff; I've just been working on other priorities lately. However, my brain has been busy churning stuff over, even if I haven't had the time to sit down and write a story yet.

So I wanted to jot down some of my headcanons for the Smithy gang, specifically the forging order of the main members. I thought of a sequence where Smithy created each as a response to shortcomings he saw in their predecessors. This timeline will serve as a framework from which I can write future stories.

I don't think there's anything here that goes directly against canon, but I'm not as much of an SMRPG expert as I am with some other games lol, so feel free to tell me if there's some kind of Japanese-only line that contradicts me. Also let me know your own ideas if you want!! I am new to being a proper fan in this fandom :P

First, some general notes: I don't really have a good definition for who Smithy himself is, where he came from, or what his world is like, and I don't know if I ever will, since I find some degree of ominous mystery to be more interesting. Also - while I've seen the Gang described as "robots", while that may be true in a sense, I think of them more as "constructs" - I don't think they're powered by wires or circuitry or anything like that, but rather arcane magic. They are not powered by AI, even in the sense that a more nuanced and self-aware robo-sentience might be (see examples in the Marioverse: TEC, Beep-0, JEANIE), but a more traditional type of consciousness/soul that Smithy has learned to work with, as if it were yet another material. (This isn't abnormal for the Mario world, where we already have living bullets and bombs and the like- and in an ironic twist, also makes them somewhat similar to Geno, who is a consciousness inhabiting a form that would not produce sentience or mobility on its own.)

This isn't really a fic, although it's long enough to be one, lol. I hope you enjoy!

First there was Exor; but Smithy did not create him. In fact, Exor was Smithy's beloved blade, the reason for his obsession with living weapons in the first place. But Exor is a being even more ancient than Smithy, who just happened to bond with him in his lifetime. The sword can grow to a massive size, and is never truly destroyed, but will reappear and reforge itself throughout history. The otherworldly creature that attached itself to Exor and brought it to life has been known to some as the Neosquid.

Now Smithy, in a sense, was his own first experiment - gradually replacing his organic parts with malleable metal, not only to extend his own life, but to make himself more suited for a variety of purposes. This was a process that never really had an end, as he was always experimenting, creating new heads for himself. But when he was satisfied enough with his initial efforts, Smithy sought to create life in his own image, and in the image of his beloved Exor. Among other adventures, he spent time in Subcon, the Land of Dreams, studying the enigmatic nature of consciousness - at least enough so that he could harness some of its unfathomable magic for his own ends.

Boomer was the first of Smithy's prized creations (yes, because I like the idea of the one called "Boomer" being the oldest). Originally created to provide a sort of companionship to Smithy in the form of strategic advisory and being a bodyguard- and also to provide friendship, although Smithy would never admit it. Over time, Smithy became distracted with his newer and flashier works, and grew tired of Boomer's overly serious and staid nature. Though their relationship has grown distant, Boomer's fondness, gratitude and loyalty for his creator has never faltered, and he will defend Smithy to the very last of his existence. In turn, Smithy has never put forth plans for machine-made Boomers- the younger creations speculate it's because he's too outdated a model for this to be worth it, but perhaps it's because even now, Smithy considers him irreplaceable.

Bowyer was the next-forged. Smithy sought to make a commander who represented a long-range weapon, to contrast with Boomer's katana; and also a more creative and inventive personality to offset Boomer's traditionalist and unadventurous nature. When Bowyer was born, Smithy found that he had accidentally gone way too far (in his opinion) in this new direction, leading to a creation that was so erratic he refused to even speak like those around him. Smithy found Bowyer a hard-to-control troublemaker who would rarely listen to him (or Boomer) and seemed unhappy most of the time, not fitting in with the world he had been forged into. Bowyer would also leave arrows all over the place, sticking out of random things in the weapon world - this is when Smithy had the bright idea to create arrows with consciousness, so they could return to their leader on their own. To Smithy and Boomer's surprise, Bowyer became a lot more joyful and content when he met his little Aeros, and they all became an inseparable entourage.

Smithy became creatively blocked while trying to think of his next big project, largely due to the stress of Bowyer's early behavior. Instead, he came up with a number of smaller-time minions, some of which were the Shymores, based on the Shy Guys he had observed during the time he had spent in Subcon. The Shymores were a playfully destructive group, and after seeing Bowyer's happiness with the Aeros, Smithy decided to forge a creation who was destined to be a leader from the outset; and also one with a mischievous streak, yet toned down from Bowyer. And so he made Claymorton, who later called himself Mack. He was a beloved leader to his rowdy group, but perhaps too social- he ended up neglecting his own training, preferring to play and mess around with his friends, and thus never became very strong on his own.

By now, Smithy was growing frustrated by the failures and flaws that he saw in the personalities of his creations. He decided to think extra hard about the character of his next project: this would be someone who could work completely independently - brilliant, shrewd, capable of powerful magic spells and illusions. Yet Smithy made sure to write in an unflinching loyalty to himself into the new creation's code, so to speak. And lo: at first Speardovich seemed everything Smithy could have ever wanted. Proud, powerful, but knowing his place. He needed no minions, and thus was never distracted, as he could split his own form and consciousness so that one being could do the work of many. He might appear to be older than Bowyer and Claymorton, but in fact he is technically not; he was just created from the outset to be more mature, with the moustache to prove it. And yet, over time, the cracks in this personality began to show. Speary was pompous and did not get along with the other creations when necessity called them to work together. And his respect for Smithy manifested as simpering; a begging for praise and attention which the smith found increasingly unbearable. He was always coming up with unasked-for ideas and input, such as: perhaps all the machine-made units could take the name of a spear in a different language, and "speardovich" could be their overall model name, and that he quite liked Yaridovich for himself personally, and perhaps it would be alright if- but no, Smithy would have none of it. While at first he had beamed with joy at this newest creation, he soon enough kept him at arm's length (or spear's length?) as well.

Finally, Smithy hit upon a brilliant idea - his next creation would be a group of (mostly) equals who could depend on each other without a major power imbalance, keep each other entertained, and stay out of his hair. The Axem Rangers were born, all bearing an energetic and youthful personality which they are still yet to grow out of. They were given control of the Blade, and sent to scout various worlds. They often picked up slang and brought home entertainment from the places they visited, and developed a countless number of inside jokes. The other commanders, and especially Smithy himself and Boomer, found it hard to keep up with them. However, Smithy considered their existence a big success, and remained very proud of them- although this might be due to the fact that he ended up not having to interact with them that much.

...So, that's what I have for now! I'm not sure where all of the Factory enemies fit into this; based on their descriptions, I think Clerk/Manager/Director aren't creations of Smithy, but are the same species as him and recruited from his homeworld. Same with the Chief, aside from possibly not being the same species. Smaller minions like jabits and the hammers would be produced at various points that aren't super relevant to this larger narrative. Count Down was probably made as a fun side-project when Smithy wanted to take a break from weapons per se, and see what he could do with an object like a clock. Gunyolk was confirmed to be created by the Chief. And Cloaker and Domino are weird outliers; I want to say they would be among some of the first things Smithy made, or the latest, in some kind of more abstract and experimental period.

Again - let me know your thoughts and ideas!

[jujutsustraycats]

Hey ish! Your school would be starting in a few days and here a few things I wish someone told me when I was about to start my journey for 11th! Some of these might apply to you too even though the paths I have and you will be taking are completely different.

Next 2 years are gonna teach you a lot. They'll put you through the highest of high and lowest of lows. They'll change you as a person. They'll teach you so much about life (and also how people can be). Things would get overwhelming at times. You wouldn't understand what the fuck is going on at times. A lot of times you'd be left confused and hurt and alone for both, academic and non academic reasons. Also, you'd get a lot of career advice so you need to know how to filter out the useless ones! The best way to check authenticity can be reflect on the achievements of the one giving advice.

Even though your classmates might be in the same stream, you'll realise that everyone has a different story and that, in the worst ways possible too. There'd be times when it'd feel like none of your peers understand your visions and aim for future, there'd be times you wouldn't have a buddy to chat about your life philosophies with who also has the same opinions as yours (but remember to not give up on people as a whole okay? You'd find people you vibe with at the end of the day, you just have to be bold enough to put yourself out there!)

There'd be also times you might end up severely over worked and sleep deprived (but make sure not to drink so much coffee that your hands and shaking and your heart is beating so fast that your body goes into fight and flight mode thinking you're having panic attack lol). You know ish, these 2 years might completely make you or break you, but remember to not give up despite whatever situations you might end up in.

I personally was a several-Olympiad-gold-medalist kinda overachiever till 10th (even in 11th lol, i didn't sit for it in 12th because my priorities changed. And I overlooked it, don't do that. Celebrate your smallest wins and remember to appreciate yourself for the smallest milestones or you'll end up severely burnt out. It has happened to me twice over the span of last 4 years till now.) But even I ended up seeing the greatest academic downfall i ever had in front of my eyes at many times during these 2 years. And you should know that it's okay. A lot of people are going to be tough on you but try your hardest not to be one of them. Being kind to oneself can be difficult but try your best okay? And you said you are a perfectionist aren't you? Take care little dove.

I've seen a lot in these two years too. A lot of your academic experience also depends on what kind of teachers you get and me, personally, oh my teachers were pos and sadists. They'd bully me for the most stupid reasons (haha losers. You said i wouldn't be able to do it? Well. fuck y'all ✨ [you'd have to learn to be indifferent at times and not let their or anyone else's words get through you. Learn to develop a strong self belief.]) and I seriously hope you get better teachers.

But oh ish not every elder is bad, you'll get some amazing teachers whom you'd never want to break ties with. Hold on to them! okay? You'd also get really amazing friends who you'd know are going to last a lifetime and would be there for you in your toughest times. Hold on to them as well! Some bastards are too good to let go. Ha!

And also, in return, remember to be kind to your peers because you don't know what they might be going through (not to scare you but I had 2 of my friends who'd almost commit suicide, so yeah it can get scary for both, you and them at times but remember to heal them with your love and support. It's an age you all need each other!)

It's gonna be fun, full of lessons, scary, exciting and adventurous at the same time. You'd hate it sometimes and you'd love it sometimes, but despite all MASTI NAHI RUKNI CHAHIE!!! You won't ever get these 2 years back so make sure you don't walk out without making some amazing memories!! Vandalise stuff, copy the sign of principal to escape the school, bunk the classes (to study or not, your choice) have deepest conversations and most light hearted jokes and banters the exact other day, sleep in the class, eat from under the bench, give impromptu speeches on seminars and farewells, break rules....whatever ish. Whatever gets your heart pumping and adrenaline rushing. Because while it's the starting of peak years of your career, you should remember to be a human and have fun at times too. It's okay. It's normal. It's needed. One shouldn't be guilty about it.

Getting less than perfect marks on a few tests isn't gonna harm you as much as you think it will. The ones who love you will continue to love you. The ones who admire you will continue to admire you. The ones who support you will continue to support you.

Baki, main hun idhar hi ❤️ kabhi bhi kuch problem ho toh AA Jana apni badi behen se advice lene, I'll try my best to help you out. As I said the other day, the pain and trauma these 2 years have put me through has only served to make me more empathetic and protective of my juniors so if you come to me with loads of rants i won't say cliché things like "Stay strong". I'd first and foremost listen to you and simply that. I'd listen to you for as long as you want me to. Because sometimes you'd simply just wanna be heard ❤️

I'll try my best to be there for you! If nobody got you, I do! Remember that, okay? ✨

... Dear gods, I don't even know what to say. You made me cry. Like, tears actually sprung up in my eyes. Happy ones, though. Don't worry too much.

I'm not one for physical affection but I would've hugged you so hard if I were there. Thank you. This genuinely made my day.

[caffeinefafnir]

TL;dr: how a simple hobby keeps me from collapsing (bc we really don't pay enough attention to mental health as a society)

So earlier this year I was writting a fanfic and that's been like, the only anchor to sanity I've had for a long while. I started out on a whim one night and spewed out around 10 pages in one night. I've started at 11pm and stayed up till 5am writting. It's been such a fucking nasty year (bc all the shit started last November actually) where I've been struggling with family issues, health issues, being unemployed and struggling financially, and then the feeling of being left behind when my partner got a job and I didn't, and a lage etc. Suddenly in May I got posessed by this supernatural impulse to write a fanfic after what felt like a lifetime (around 13 years). Days turned into months, one draft became 5 separate stories abt the same characters, I discovered what whump was thus rediscovering something I was really adept to without even realizing it, followed closely several challenges althougth never pressured myself to participate (bc deadlines and I don't get along) and on top of that I started a completely new story of a genre I had never dreamt of exploring before.

Around June I was writting a super emotional scene of my side fanfic. My fave character had attempted suicide and failed, and it was a super heavy scene where she talked about this with a friend in the most nonchalant way (at first) and he was completely shocked and devastated. I was writting this at a cafe, my favorite one, and had to make a real effort to keep a straigth face while typing out bc I tend to act out the feelings as I describe them and my eyes were getting all red and wattery. But everything was fine and I got the full scene toghether. And... I felt so incredibly lighter and happier after that.

I've been trying to find an explanation for it since then. I've been battling depression since a long time now, 10 years, but I hadn't felt suicidal since a long long time ago. But I know too damn well the feeling of the symptoms of depression going away, and BOY what I felt was like a MIRACLE! The floating sensation? Just knowing everything is going to be better? Damn I missed that. I had felt it before a few times in prior years when something significantly good happened, when I went regularly to therapy, etc.

The weirdest part is that things weren't even particularly bad at that point, and even when they were the absollute worst around February I hadn't seriously thought about suicide not even once. It was more like homicidal rage at that point haha, but nothing about harming myself. I keep thinking about it ever since, how optimistic I was for the next month or so before my mood got worse due to environmental reasons. And I still went to that part over and over again to correct, add details and overall finishing the rest of the fic but this proved to be a difficult feat since I never could get myself into the same mood again.

And I'm like... what?? Why did this particular scene caused that blissful effect on me? I've never ever been in that exact situation, surely I fantasized about it (we all do at some point) and I know I'm far from cured of the depression for I still feel some of the indicators of its presence, but the change in me since I wrote those pages was explosive and intoxicating. Maybe I was channeling everything through my blorbo in ways I didn't knew I could, maybe it's just the fact that she got listened at without judging or being accused of faking it/being a failure/blowing it out of proportion, maybe bc she was feeling as lonely and unseen as I currently feel to the point you can disappear for days and nobody would notice (or at least that's what you tell to yourself)

I'm worried that if I tell all this to my therapist she'll institutionalize me haha. For real. I dunno what they normally do in these cases lol. Also I don't want to tell her yet that I write fanficiton since I´m not ready to explain an Xgen-er what is it and why my generation hype so much abt it

[openphrase123]

i realize this may not be the best time to ask because of the last post you made, but how do you find the motivation to keep up with so many projects at once? the fact that you can is both inspiring and also very scary and i'm jealous. "average person writes 1 fic in their lifetime" WRONG. ficwriter openphrase123 who writes 3276453287 fics in their lifetime all at once is a statistical outlier and should not be c

oh this answer got long here's a readmore

well first of all. i have a boring dayjob that lets me marinate big ideas on the backburner. i can turn my thinking brain off for 90% of my projects at work. i've been working there for seven years, i can plot fanfiction in my head without taking a single performance hit LOL

second. um. i'm thirty in like four months. that is in NO WAY old, but i have been on this earth long enough to know when i, specifically, cannot execute or follow through an idea. i only pursue projects i know i can reasonably finish without going crazy. i just kind of. know how my brain chemistry works? i have reasonable expectations for myself?? i'm friends with my brain even if it likes to overthink or be anxious or have seizures or go down weird ocd-adjacent thought paths

third, which feeds a lot into the above point. but when you are in your teens and twenties it's going to take you some time to figure out the rhythm of how you work. i like to take a lot of mini breaks in between what i'm doing. this does not work for my girlfriend, who has ADHD and is like "if i take a break i will never recover" so she doesn't do that. brains are all different and you gotta find what works for you

fourth. well. this one might just be me. but the reason i have like 8 concurrent projects is because when i get tired of one, my brain is VERY happy to latch onto another one. no matter what i'm doing, something is getting done?? that's why i was writing 3 fics at once trying to decide which one to do next. and why i couldn't figure it out and had to leave it to a tumblr poll

and, fifth. idk. i don't write fanfiction when i don't want to? if you look at my ao3 account i haven't done it since. like. 2021? and before that the last time i wrote any fanfiction was in like 2013. of which i cannot track down that old accout but i swear it probably exists?

s.sixth??? and this one is going to sound the braggiest. and maybe it is a little bit. i'm good at this? not like. naturally. i wasn't born writing 100k fanfics. but i've been writing fiction for like. most of my life. i wrote a lot of awful stupid shit before i started writing good shit. i'm not falling asleep at the wheel or anything but after you're making art for enough time, it more easily falls into place. after doing it for so long you develop an intuition for the kinds of projects you will be sufficiently motivated for. i don't know how to describe this without sounding like a pretentious asshole. maybe i can allow myself to be for like five minutes. i've earned it

i hope that helped??? my brain kind of just. does stuff. i've trained it over the years to do stuff in the direction that makes me happy!! i wish my brain would let me go clean my bathroom instead but eh. tradeoffs?

[drowninginblox]

Under that Tree

Garmau in 2024? More likely than you'd think lol scampers away with the music of heisting Btw the tree in question is not the tree house. I just like this gif sm and there were no dreamscape gifs

It had been a long time since Aphmau had seen her head guard in this light. The cloudless sky made his ocean-blue eyes deeper the more time she took looking into them. When she did tear herself away from them to catch a prolonged glimpse at this familiarly disjointed island, she would find herself catching a trace of his armor.

Armor that matched his build too well. A sight she knew too well. However, it was never the time nor place to linger on such things. Here though, for some reason, it felt right. It's been so long since that raw feeling of right blessed them. "My Lady, is this...?" Garroth's head swiveled at a concerning rate as the dawning of this familiar place set in. "How did-?"

"I have no idea Garroth," She admitted, deciding to return to their setting rather than the intrusive thoughts she reserved towards one of her favorite guards. "The last time we were here was..." A wave of heat washed over her as intimate memories resurfaced. "When I was in the Irene Dimension. And you were... out in the world." She swallowed, nodding at his interpretation. "Was that reality? Or was it a dream?" Aphmau muttered absentmindedly. "Any moment with you is a dream my lady," Garroth confesses, making his lord smile.

She turns back to him, looking down at the larger-than-life tree's roots. The shadows of its outstretched branches and ample leaves blanket them from the unapologetic sun. Warm as it may be, that particular company wasn't what the pair was looking for. Especially since they have plenty in each other. "You've changed so much since we first met." Garroth returns her small smile with one of his own. "You have offered me a life I otherwise wouldn't have. Whether be in a dying town or in the castle I was raised in." The guard set his helm down on one of the many roots while he took off his hilt. "Pardon me my lady, but it has been quite a while since I've taken this off..."

"Have you been sleeping with your sword?" Aphmau accused, pointing a finger at him. "When was the last time you slept without it on you?" Garroth only turned to her. "When was the last time you did? Without someone searching your body without your permission?" The lady opened her mouth before closing it. Only to open it again. Less than a minute passed without a sound but at that point, the sheath was propped against the root that set Garroth's helmet. "You were saying, my lady?" Aphmau only sighed, kicking away any frustration into the dirt. "Now, now, my lady, the grass has nothing to do with your disappointment in me." The guard chides intermixed a slipping chuckle.

Aphmau's cheeks grow hot as a subtle anger boils in her soul. Meanwhile, Garroth takes the moment to approach her. "You need to take care of yourself Garroth! For the love of-!" She huffs. The urge to walk away from this conversation or wake up from this moment altogether tugging at her. Yet her irritation subsided with the shadow of a touch of worn leather gloves over her hip. So close yet bidding for a consent that Garroth is known to wait hand and foot for. Lingering lifetimes if necessary. "I know. But you should know better than anyone else," He takes a moment to break between the effortless gaze he holds between himself and Aphmau to take a cautious glance at his hand's placement. Aphmau waits for him to look her way to nod.

Even through the rough leather and the layers of her dress and corset, Aphmau could still feel his warmth.

"Everything I do is for you." She breaks her gaze away from his eager eyes, lingering for a faction of a second on his parted lips, before finding herself at his chest. "That is very admirable Garroth," She places her hands on his chest, making the smallest of movements back. Yet that is enough for Garroth to let her go, going as far as to take a step back to give her space. She smiles sadly. "But you deserve to live for yourself. Not for me, or my children, or..." the words catch for a moment. A few breaths are enough to loosen themselves from the prison of her throat. "Even Pheonix Drop." Garroth's brows furrow. "Aphmau, where is this coming from?"

"Garroth, you have dedicated so much of yourself. I admire that so much about you." She swallowed again. Is this why they were here? Alone together in a place made out of idealism? To say the things they left unsaid? Or for her to say the things she was afraid of?

"Garroth, you are such a strong, resilient, and kind man. You have been there for me since the beginning." She lets out a breath of a laugh. "Literally. You have been one of the main reasons I've fought for Pheonix Drop, and continue even when it fell to ruin." Another wave of heat ran through her alongside reserves of passion she could have quantified as nostalgic. A smile tugged to her lips yet wetness brimmed in the corners of her eyes. "My boys didn't deserve a fragment of the world. Nor did they have to hide for the rest of their lives. No one should."

"Aphmau," caution laced between his lips, seeping into her name. "Garroth, you don't deserve that either." She admits. A tear falls down her cheek. Garroth instinctively holds her face, brushing his thumb over her free-falling sadness. "My lady, I stay here because I want to be. With you, and your children, and this village. I have a life here. Where is this coming from?" She fights the urge to give into her heart. her mind has had plenty of time to formulate this. Why is it now that she struggles to move away from his tender grasp? "Garroth, please." She says through flushed cheeks, looking away altogether. He took the hint, moving his hand from her and taking a few steps back so he leaned against the tree.

"Garroth. I think about that day I returned from Scaleswind. The day I found you in the mines." He hoped he could gulp back the implications of what she may be doing, and yet they remained as she did. It was all over his face, the awe, the fear, the confusion of where this was coming from. By no means was Aphmau emotionally prepared for this conversation, and yet here she was. Wading through it like the heaviness of these unresolved feelings she's contained for years. Only managing to brush off any well-meaning teases or outright jealous accusations of tethering her guards to her with the promise of more than just the stereotypical power or pay. This was a long time coming, however, it wouldn't end here.

"I don't know what you remember of that day, I don't blame you if you don't. With Zenix's attack on the village and you doing everything you could to protect Levin, but I remember it so well. Can I tell you what I saw that day?" Garroth took a moment. His gaze faltered between Aphmau and the small meadow that surrounded the tree. Eventualy he relented with a curt nod. "Thank you."

"I remember a very vulnerable man." She takes a step towards him. He remains. "I saw that man in a way I hadn't expected. It was honest and hard on himself. But above all of that, he strove to protect others. Even it meant he'd be hurting himself in the long run." Even though he stood cold and uncaring to this recollection, Garroth couldn't hide his contempt. He shifted his weight between his legs and closed his eyes when Aphmau was halfway through. Striving to disconnect from the moment even though it surrounded him. "I don't know about you Garroth, but that day and the days after I found out about Levin, it seemed like everything changed." She turns away.

"It could have been the knowledge of Levin's family or the circumstances of my lordship... hell, maybe it was just me realizing..." The words catch in her throat. Eventually, Garroth offers an out for her. "That... the world is bigger than you thought?" She smiles, she never turns down Garroth's aid without good reason. Hopefully, this is good enough. "Yes, but, no." She decides. "Garroth, when I traveled, I was free. Freer than I had in a bit. And yeah, it was out of curiosity and to make sure Levin's family was okay. But I think I needed it? Looking back on it now, I think it was the fun before the storm." He chuckles for a moment, allowing Aph to exhale a breath she didn't know she was holding in. "That's all to say, when I got the answers I needed and everything was only a matter of getting back home, I kind of didn't want to go."

Another pause encompasses them. This one was longer and heavier, weighing down on Aphmau's shoulders as if two fully grown wyrens were perched on each. "I know, that's selfish of me to admit. And I did come back of course, but that doesn't make the truth hurt any less." Garroth took a breath of his own. "Aphmau. Did you ever think of abandoning Pheonix Drop? Truly?" another sad smile. "No. Never. Not after that." She smiles, satisfied that they are getting back on track. "When I came back and Zoey told me about the raid- I just. That was that. I needed to see if you and Levin were okay." Garroth shook his head. "You mean if Levin was okay." She rolls her eyes. "Garroth I know what I said. I didn't stutter." She replies evenly, smirking when her guard's face flushed red.

"Garroth, you should know that I returned for Levin and you. Everyone else too- of course! But when I was on that wyren, flying back home, I was looking forward to checking in with you. " The breeze picked up for a moment, making hair sway and her smile fade. "I didn't want to think about it, I think I knew what I was getting into by that time. So, the implications of you and I were just-" "I understand." Garroth nodded, turning back to his helm only for Aphmau to grab his wrist. "I didn't want to put us before our people Garroth."

Slowly, his head turned back. First to his wrist, then to her. "What about Laurence then?" Aphmau swallowed, taking her hand back as anxiety boiled in the pit of her stomach. "I-" She pauses for a moment, considering everything. Her words, her past actions, Garroth. "I can't say he does not mean anything to me. In a way, he's everything to me." Garroth attempts to hide his disappointment, however, the intuition Aphmau has gained over the years of her knowing Garroth shines through with a careful touch to her head guard's cheek. Cupping it as tears begin to well. "He is everything to me in the same way you are." He hesitates before leaning into her warmth. Eventually turning to face her alltogether. Gratitude and sadness wash through him although he has no idea as to why for either.

He had played this proverbial game for years. He knew there was ample risk as there was reward. Yet why does this feel like neither and both at the same time?

"My lady, how long did you know? And what do you mean?" Aphmau smiled. "I love him. And you. Equally, and in the same vein, but differently." Garroth swallowed, blinking a few times while heat rose from his chest. "What?"

"Garroth, I was so worried about what others would think and how both of you would react. But I'm so tired of not living my life, my truth. Garroth, I love you. I can't live without you. Your time in the Irene dimension has proved that to me." She swallowed back a tight bundle that began to gather in the back of her throat. "But I want- no. I need both of you. If not the way I have always hoped, then at least as friends." Garroth considers this as clarity makes itself known. All those moments, the good and the bad, redefined in a matter of a confession. Heat pooled in his stomach while a cold sweat washed over his brow. "My lady,"

"You do not need to answer now, I know it's a lot-" She recovers after a curt cough. Her warmth moves away yet Garroth moves with her, grasping her wrist lightly to get her to remain. Although she is startled by this overt yearning, she does stay. "Aphmau, why didn't you tell me earlier?" He reasons. She looks away. "Everyone else seemed to have only one that their heart yearned for... I've heard stories of people with multiple lovers. Some good, most bad." She blinked away a familiar wetness. Yet courage ignited just for her to look him in the eyes. "I didn't mean to lead either of you on, truly. I just couldn't decide."

A moment passes. Garroth and Aphmau stare into each other's eyes. One was searching. For what, they didn't know. The other was checking. But the same could be said.

Eventually, Aphmau pulled her hand away. Garroth let it. "I'm sorry if this is too much, I-" "No." Tears, now openly falling, could be tasted on the sweetness of small smiles. "Just give me time." Aphmau wasn't sure why, but the sentiment of what Garroth said left her light, warm, and open. It was an old feeling but a welcome one as a bright light from the crevices of branches and leaves seemed to grow brighter and merge together as one in every aspect of Aphmau's being.

Hope was a very good feeling.

[wikiangela]

✨ 2023 writing round-up ✨

tagged by @exhuastedpigeon <3

I posted 22 fics this year (including the multi-chapter fic I started last december) and 21 of those were 911, and 20 were buddie lol the very first fic was the ending of my sambucky era (or a pause, I might go back who knows) and then buddie fully took over

idk what it was about this year, bc I've been writing buddie since march 2021, but now it's like the only thing I write haha

putting all the fics i've written this year under the cut bc it got loooong haha - clearly, march this year was big for me, so many fics haha

January

June 14th, 2025 (I've been waiting for you my whole life) Sambucky, T, 3.5k

A year after getting engaged, Sam and Bucky get married. A little oneshot that takes place after the events of my fic "sounds like an angel (he might be a demon)".

___

March

The one with groceries and bad coffee buddie, G, 1.3k

It’s fucking coffee, of all things, that finally does it. Or, Buck buys Eddie's favorite brand of coffee for his loft, and Eddie's brain short-circuits, leading to a realization.

Fine buddie, 1.6k

Eddie’s foot feels heavy on the gas pedal, while his hands grip the steering wheel tightly, to prevent them from shaking. He’s driving almost on autopilot, while trying his best to compartmentalize and focus on just getting to the hospital, trying not to think about Buck- about what’s happening in the back of the ambulance right now. Or, after the drive to the hospital after Buck's hit by lightning, Eddie loses it. Sort of 6x10 coda.

don't know what I'd do if your tomorrow never came buddie, 1.9k

He can’t help but think that this is some kind of sick joke from the universe, which he doesn’t believe but he knows Buck would. “The universe is screaming at you and you refuse to listen” is what Buck said once, it feels like a lifetime ago. He didn't believe it, then, either. And now the universe is mocking Eddie, having him have to tell their kid about Buck, just like Buck had to tell him about the shooting. Eddie doesn’t know how Buck did it, how he had the strength, because he’s on the verge of breaking down and shattering into a million little pieces. Or, Eddie goes home to tell Christopher about Buck getting hurt.

we got time (but we're only human) buddie, 1.6k

“We got time, Eds.” Buck chuckles. “Not enough.” Eddie’s voice breaks a little. Buck squeezes his hand. “We almost ran out of time, and I can’t just wait until it happens again, Buck. Besides, life is short. We’ll never really have enough time, because a lifetime with you wouldn’t be enough." Or, Buck wakes up from his coma, and Eddie, done with wasting time, confesses his feelings.

I can't love you any more (than I do now) buddie, G, 2.6k

Eddie's pretty sure he and Buck are dating and kind of living together. Neither acknowledges it, until Eddie finally does.

I don't mind a detour (as long as I still get to be yours) buddie, G, 1.4k

Buck falls asleep on Eddie's couch. Eddie has feelings about it.

___

April

me and you only equals love buddie, E, 6.6k

“What would you say,” Eddie brings one of his hands to Buck’s face, traces his jaw, feather-light, barely there touch, and hears Buck take a shaky breath, eyes wide with something like awe not leaving Eddie’s face, “if I wanted to kiss you? Just hypothetically.” OR, Eddie is horny and in love, and after the poker date, he finally kisses Buck - and things unfold from there. aka my first smut lol

you're the one I want buddie, G, 1.4k

“You know there’s only one person I’m interested in.” “And who might that be?” Buck leans back against the counter with a goofy grin, and Eddie wants to just go over there and kiss him. “Just my best friend I’m kind of hopelessly in love with.” Eddie shrugs, and enjoys seeing how Buck’s whole face gets red. OR, no one knows that Eddie and Buck are dating, Pepa tries to set Eddie up on dates, and Buck finds it amusing.

kiss it better buddie, G, 1.5k

Buck burns his tongue, Eddie makes a joke, and everything changes.

stuck with each other buddie, G, 2.5k

Buck's new fixation is buying unnecessary kitchen gadgets that end up in Eddie's kitchen, they all cook together, and Eddie can't keep his feelings in check.

I'm free in salt water (embrace the deep end, leave everything) maddie fic, 612 words

Sobbing, Maddie got up and, fully clothed, stepped into the ocean. Cold water was splattering against her, as she kept walking, fighting against the waves that tried to push her out. She was determined. It wasn’t her first attempt at killing herself, but it would be the first time she would be successful. OR, What was going through Maddie's mind as she walks into the ocean? (wrote this one when i was bored in class in college about a year before I posted this and idk if I like it tbh but it's posted haha)

___

May

I'd marry you with paper rings  buddie, G, 3.4k

“If we’re not married by the time we’re, like, forty, we should just marry each other.” he chuckles, and downs the rest of his beer. And Eddie… Eddie knows it’s a joke. Obviously. It can’t be anything but. But still, it does something to him. He’s thought about it, fantasized about it, but hearing it from Buck, even jokingly… “Why wait?” his tone is also teasing. He can play it off as a joke, while still looking for Buck’s reaction, for any indication about how he feels. (...) “Let’s just do it now and get it over with.” Or, Buck makes a joke that leads to an unplanned marriage proposal.

Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life? buddie, G, 2.9k

Buck spends time with Eddie and Chris, and for some reason finds himself incapable of telling Natalia, which leads to some realizations.

what a mighty good man  buddie, G, 3.4k

Buck loses his phone, and Eddie calls him to help him find it - but he does not expect the ringtone Buck has set for him.

___

June

me, you, our kid and a dog buddie, G, 4.7k

Buck and Chris try to convince Eddie to get a dog, while not even living together. It leads to more unexpected changes than Eddie could ever imagine.

___

July

you been looking for love (let me show you how it's done) buddie, E, 12.2k

“Are you-” he frowns, the confusion somehow winning with the urge to just lean in and kiss him so thoroughly he’ll forget about any other kiss he might’ve shared with any dates. “Are you doing all this on purpose?” “Doing what?” Eddie tilts his head, licks his lips, and – Buck’s almost a hundred percent sure – drops his gaze to Buck’s lips for a second. “Eddie.” Buck takes a deep breath, and wants so badly to kiss the smirk off of Eddie’s face. “Please.” “What for?” “You’re driving me insane.” he whispers, nails digging into his palms to prevent himself from reaching out. But Eddie’s thigh is pressed against his, and somehow his hand is on Buck’s knee now, and Eddie’s looking at him in such a way, that it makes Buck hot all over – or, hotter, his palms are sweating, actually. “And I feel like you are doing it on purpose.” or, Eddie is a tease, Buck is horny and jealous of Eddie dating, and a regular evening takes an unexpected turn.

___

August

For a holiday (and forevermore) buddie, M, 95k, 30 chapters

Eddie's sick of personal, intrusive questions about his love life whenever he visits his family, so he starts bringing Buck for the holidays as his (fake) boyfriend. He only wants to shut them up, and doesn't expect that the small crush he has on his best friend could actually turn into something more... (my baby fake dating holiday fic <3)

I could get lost in the feelings (just say that you belong to me) buddie, E, 15k

“Wait, wha- how- how do you feel about me?” Buck asks, his voice quiet and almost hesitant. “Buck, really? Isn’t it obvious? Do I have to spell it out for you?” Eddie sighs, eyes finally locking with Buck’s. “I think I’d like you to.” he whispers, eyes wide. “Just so I- just so I’m sure.” “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Eddie mutters, and then, frustrated and sad, and angry, he takes the few steps separating him from Buck, grabs his face with both hands, and crashes their lips together. Or, Buck's going on a date, Eddie's so jealous he finally snaps and reveals his feelings, which leads to a passionate evening in Buck's kitchen. aka the possessive smut which might be one of my fave fics ever haha

___

September

baby, you drive me wild buddie, E, 10.9k

He places his left hand on Buck’s thigh now, and Buck’s smirk just grows. “Eddie, I’m driving.” he says mock-scolding, but he chuckles breathily, as Eddie shifts in his seat, angling more towards Buck, taking his right hand and very lightly moving it along Buck’s inner thigh, following the seam of his jeans, until he gets to his dick. “Pull over, then.” he hears his own hoarse voice, as his hand grips Buck’s also already hard dick, getting a gasp out of him, his left hand still on Buck’s thigh digging its fingers into the leg. He really doesn’t think he can wait until they get home. “Eddie.” Buck shakes his head slightly, eyes not leaving the road. “We’re not gonna have sex on the side of the road.” Or, Buck and Eddie have car sex on the side of the road. one of my absolute favorite fics I've written and i think my fave smut ngl haha

___

October

the next best thing buddie, E, 9k

And, look, Eddie could say that it’s all good, delete the message, and pretend it never happened. Except, the more he looks, the more turned on he gets, and his hand starts stroking his dick through the fabric, and- and his mind is clouded by arousal and jealousy, and such strong feeling of possessive want, he’s not thinking when he throws the covers away, takes a picture of his bulge, cock hard and leaking, a wet spot visible on his underwear, and sends it to Buck in response, with a text that says ‘no worries, I liked it. fuck, I want that gorgeous cock all to myself’. It’s so unlike him, he’d never even taken a nude picture before now, but- but this is Buck, who makes some sort of crazy possessive beast roar to life in his chest, and has his body screaming at him to do something, anything to get Buck’s attention on him, instead of whoever the hell was on the receiving end of the messages leading to that one. ‘HOLY SHIT’ is what he gets back, and not even two seconds later, Buck’s calling him. Or, Buck accidentally sends a nude and a spicy text to Eddie - things escalate from there.

___

November

I wanna spend my forever like that buddie, G, 8.6k

Eddie catches a cold and stubbornly denies he's sick, while a fondly exasperated Buck is trying to take care of him.

____

Writing Round-Up: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones your most excited about.

no pressure tags: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @daffi-990 @loserdiaz @lover-of-mine @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks @housewifebuck @underwater-ninja-13 @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @jamespearce9-1-1 @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @thewolvesof1998 @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @pirrusstuff @fortheloveofbuddie

[freesia-writes]

For the bed-sharing prompt...

9. we sat on my bed and talked for hours and eventually we just fall asleep

Howzer

New relationship

(I feel bad, because I'm so predictable and you probably dread my asks...it's just I see lots of fics for my other favorites but not much for Howzer...)

Thanks! And don't feel like you have to!! Only if you're feeling it.

@clonethirstingisreal

I absolutely do NOT dread your asks, especially when they are for my favorite boy!! :D I'm gonna make one little tweak from bed to couch since it's a new relationship and my brain isn't braining any other way, LOL.

A thrill ran through you as his arm brushed against yours when he shifted slightly to pull the lever for the recliner, allowing him to spread out luxuriously next to you on the plush couch. He folded his arms behind his head with a content sigh, tilting his face so he could continue to watch you as you shared about a primary school teacher that had provided you with enough ridiculous stories to last a lifetime.

"So I've got refresher duty, and I'm in there mopping... and she's in the stall, I guess. All of a sudden she calls my name. From the stall. Okay... so I answer, and she asks me if I can give her a big wad of wet paper towels as well as some dry ones," you say, reveling in the adorable wrinkle of his nose as he listened with delight.

"Who asks that?!" he laughed, and you sat up straighter, crossing your legs so you could face him more fully to finish your story with increasingly theatrical arm motions.

"I have no idea... But I have to admit... my response wasn't the nicest. I was kind of an idiot as a kid," you confessed, the glimmer in his eyes hinting that he probably wasn't the most innocent angel either.

"Uh oh."

"Yeah... So I got this HUGE wad of paper towels, like... I'm holding it with two hands, and absolutely SOAKED it under the sink. Then I rushed over to the bathroom... and..." you were dissolving into guilty giggles, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. But you were too far to stop now. "I threw the entire sopping thing over the top of the stall door... and it landed on something with a massive SPLAT... and then I ran away."

"Oh my gosh," Howzer laughed, palming his face. "Was she screaming at you?"

"No!" you said between chortles, "That was the weirdest part -- she was totally silent!"

"Probably rethinking every choice she made in her life that got her to that point," he observed, and you laughed, relaxing into the couch next to him. The recline of his seat tilted the cushions toward him, and you found yourself leaning on him slightly more than before. It gave you tingles, and he didn't seem to mind. Grateful that he wasn't abhorred by your childhood weaselry, you continued with other, more flattering stories in between the ones he was sharing about his own shenanigans as a cadet.

Hours passed in the blink of an eye. You were absolutely in awe of his simultaneous sweetness and mischievousness, his cleverness and integrity. The room was so warm and cozy, with a fire flickering in the hearth and the steady sound of rain tapping against the roof and windows. The rumbling sound his smooth voice made in his chest was lulling you to sleep, and as he talked about the regimented training schedule of his adolescence, your eyelids slowly fluttered closed.

Howzer noticed when your head slowly tilted to the side, the weight of him beside you pulling you toward him, and he carefully pulled his arm out from beneath you, allowing you to slump into his side, face resting on his perfectly broad chest. His own heart was thumping in his chest as he tentatively stretched his arm around you, tucking it snugly along your back as he relaxed his own head back onto the cushion. With a deep, contented sigh, he gazed at the ceiling for a while, lost in thought as he watched the shadows dance gracefully.

You woke a few hours later, coming to with a blissful awareness of being insanely warm and comfortable. As you took in your surroundings, you felt fireworks in your chest at the sight and feeling of Howzer peacefully sleeping next to you, one strong arm holding you gently against him. You didn't know how you'd gotten there, but you weren't about to start asking.