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irisintheafterglow · 2 months ago

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HAND NINE - STRAIGHT FLUSH

summary: in a season where you're determined to fly under the radar, newly-returned crown prince!touya todoroki has other ideas. in this hand, touya finally folds.

wc: 2.4k

cw/tags: royalty!au/regency!au, fem!reader (she/her used), fire, peril, weapons (dagger and a sword), enji gets his shit rocked, reader is highkey unhinged in this but we're just tryna get touya to come to his damn senses, league of villains being true homies

note: second to last chapter :') technically this could be considered the last chapter but i've still got a lil epilogue to publish that ties everything up in a nice lil bow <3 hope you like this, everything comes together in this one chapter and i didn't realize just how many strings i needed to tie up LOL

likes, reblogs, and replies are appreciated! | series masterlist

There’s an unfamiliar churning in Touya’s stomach at 7:56. It does nothing but grow as another minute ticks past and he catches the rich scarlet of Tomura’s cloak in the flurry of champagne fabrics. It disappears as soon as he notices it, but his composure slips long enough for his mother to notice his unease.

“You haven’t asked me for my ring yet,” she comments and the muscle in Touya’s jaw tenses. “I can’t imagine you’ve had the availability to purchase one on your own, or have you?” He continues to stare straight ahead, forcing his eyes to stray and look for you among the glitter. “Touya.”

“Yes, mother.”

“Answer me.”

“I have my own intentions this evening,” he states more coldly than he wished. She hums before bidding him a quiet goodbye and exiting the ballroom. 7:58. Touya releases a shaky exhale through his nose; she was the last of those he cared about to leave the event. Shouto, Natsuo, and Fuyumi were preoccupied trying to find a diamond-encrusted brooch in his bedroom that, in reality, was sinking to the bottom of the palace’s duck pond. The razor-sharp dagger shifts uncomfortably in the inner pocket of his coat, weighing on him nearly as much as the adrenaline coursing through his body. For better or worse, you were nowhere to be found as the minute hand ticks closer to standing upright.

7:59. He prayed to something he didn’t believe in that you were far from here, hopefully gone for your own good. He wishes again that he was in another lifetime with you, one where he could love you as he pleased without the shackle of royalty hanging around his ankle.

8:00. His mechanism rigged into the ceiling flickers to life and the ballroom becomes an inferno. His hand was dealt, and he had no other option than to push the limits of what he had left.

Steeling his nerves and shrugging off his coat, his fingers run along the cold hilt of the dagger as he reattaches it to his belt. The heavy velvet falls to the floor with a thump lost in the noise of the ceiling igniting in cerulean flames, the atmosphere shifting from carefree socializing to nothing short of chaos. The heat becomes suffocating within seconds to all but two. One refuses the hurried attempts by his servants to remove him from the hellish scene, and the other stalks over to his father in an unbuttoned shirt that, for the first time, fully reveals the deep purple burn scars rippling over every muscle and nerve from the neck down.

“Look familiar, father?” Touya snarls, his voice carrying easily over the sound of crackling and flames beginning to hop to golden curtains. Onlookers flee in horror as the crown prince darts forward with a shining object at the king, who barely jumps backward in time. A ceiling beam crashes behind Enji, blocking the last exit. “Doesn’t this scene remind you of anything?”

“Stop this, Touya.” The king’s voice booms at a decibel that shakes the room and Touya merely smiles. They pace in front of each other, back and forth with no escape in sight. The two royals’ intentions were clear–if I go down, you’re coming with me.

“But I thought this was what you wanted from me, Your Majesty,” he replies with a cynical grin dripping with sarcasm. “All those classes, teachers, lessons, all so I would become your weapon and you could conquer the Isle of Might once and for all. Isn’t it a privilege to witness the true power of Flash Fire?”

“I made Flash Fire to protect this kingdom,” Enji hisses, “But you could not control it. You were to be king without it.”

“And therein lies the issue, father. I only wanted to be king because you told me to be. I only lit the fire that night when you said I’d never be worthy. When you started pushing mother to isolate Shouto and use him as your next tool of conquest.” Touya’s body acts on its own, flipping the dagger thoughtlessly in his hand. The blade glints and reflects the bright shades of blue slowly engulfing the entire room. At this rate, the whole palace could burn and Touya wouldn’t give a damn. The thing that ruined his life was in front of him, after all. “When you realized I would never be what you wanted, you thought sending me away would fix it. But it didn’t, and I returned wielding Flash Fire better than you ever could.”

“You were never supposed to return at all.” Something that was long-guarded in Touya’s heart aches a barely perceptible amount, but it’s enough to make him lunge to kill.

“You made me this,” the prince spits as the king finally draws his sword, blocking the first attack coming within inches from his face with a sharp clang! “You should be proud. You should be overjoyed you finally raised an heir that could surpass you.”

“Your spite does nothing but infect this kingdom,” Enji retorts. Blow after blow is exchanged, sparks shooting off blades and becoming one with the intensifying blue fire around them.

“Hypocrite! The people fear your cruelty, which is why so many were eager to aid me while I was in exile. When you’re dead, the kingdom will thank me!”

“They will never view you as a true king, only as a monster. In their minds, you were meant to rule, not entertain the whims of some brainless lowlife you manipulated into courting–”

The instant his father mentions you, Touya snaps and swings wildly, slicing a clean cut on the side of his opponent’s bicep. It throws him off balance enough that he can kick out the king’s leg and force him onto one knee. A powerful punch to the king’s temple knocks him to the ground, unconscious.

“You shouldn’t have mentioned her.” With his knuckles bruised and aching, the prince hesitates for barely a breath before the dagger comes down, aimed straight at the king’s heart.

At that moment, a shiver runs across the back of the prince’s neck and an eerie silence falls across one side of the room. Half and half, part of the ballroom remains covered in fire, while the other resembles a burnt forest covered in snow. The dagger hovers with the point barely breaking through the king’s clothing, the fight suddenly halted by the abrupt shift in atmosphere. Touya’s eyes narrowed at the half-extinguished side of the room; the only person who could know how to counteract Flash Fire was…

“Tomura?”

“No.” His heart drops like a rock into his stomach. You step out from behind a blackened pillar and carefully navigate around broken tables and shattered drink glasses. He feels like he’s watching his own body from outside. You couldn’t be here. You weren’t supposed to be here. “Drop the dagger, Touya.” His grip tightens on the hilt. “Please.”

“Get out,” he croaks. You take another step closer, calling his bluff.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Leave.”

“I’m staying,” you counter, your eyes darting between Touya and his father lying at his mercy. Another ceiling beam crashes to the floor and releases a plume of dark smoke. It wasn’t safe for you here. “I’m not leaving without you.”

“The flames, how did you…”

“I held a knife between Tomura’s shoulder blades until he agreed to deploy the countermeasures,” you answer and take another step forward. Only a few feet remained between you and Touya now and his body was split between you and his mission. “Drop the dagger and let’s go. I’d like to keep the number of times you almost killed me to two.” You’re trying to keep your voice light, but it’s impossible for him to miss the way your outstretched hand is trembling.

“He told you about the market?”

“I made him tell me about the market,” you correct. “I should have recognized your friend in the tall hat when you took me to play cards that one night. An attempted assassination carried out by your friends under your orders, but apparently you caring if an arrow struck me wasn’t part of the equation. I’m sure you can tell me more once you come with me, so let's leave. ”

“I can’t,” he mumbles while he regains control of his limbs. “I need to do this.” Before Touya can drive the dagger home, your arm shoots out to reach for the blade. Your bet pays off because rather than wrapping your fingers around the sharpened metal, Touya’s are firmly gripping your wrist and holding your hand above the weapon. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What does killing him accomplish?” You’re finally close enough to him that you can meet his intense stare, which burns just as hotly as the deteriorating side of the ballroom. “Why become what people think you are?”

“Because they’ll never know me as anything else,” he seethes. “And he doesn’t deserve to live.” He attempts to finish off Enji once again but you struggle in his hold at the same time, forcing his attention to prioritize your safety above all else. “Stop it,” he commands frustratedly through bared teeth.

“No,” you fire back.

“What do you want me to do? Let him live? After everything he’s put me through, you want me to spare his life?” Touya asks incredulously.

“His death is not worth the burden,” you argue and the prince shakes his head, failing to tune you out. “If you kill him, you become the monster he made you.”

“I am the only one to carry that weight.”

“Not if I am with you.” His breath hitches in his throat. Were you saying that you would…? “And I intend to be.”

“Why?” This time when you have everything on the line, you refuse to fold.

“Because I love you. And I know you love me too, or you would’ve let me grab this dagger with my bare hands to try to stop you.” Around you, the flames are forgotten as they continue to scorch everything they touch and the extinguished side of the room sits like a still life painting. You can count the different shades of blue in his eyes, searching you for any sign of hesitation that doesn’t exist.

“You’d give up everything for me?”

“Nothing I’d be giving up was worth keeping,” you whisper. “If it was, I wouldn’t be behind that damn pillar.” He finally huffs a tired laugh, shaking his head at your reiteration of a promise you’d made several times before. “I love you. Let’s go, right now. We can finish the latter half of your plan without going through with the former.”

“What about him?” The toe of Touya’s boot nudges his father’s unconscious form.

“I don’t believe he’s in any position to stop us.” His hand slowly slips into yours and laces your fingers together digit by digit, like he was waiting for you to announce your betrayal and deem the whole charade a joke. When your palm fits snugly in his, he finally starts to believe that, maybe, you weren’t going to break as easily as he previously thought. The tension in your shoulders eases when Touya cracks a smirk, decisively tossing the would-be murder weapon into the fire and dragging you out of the ballroom.

Touya’s hand remains on you at all times, whether it be in your palm, on the small of your back, or holding your waist as you move through the shadows like it was second nature. With the money in hand and your luxurious garments discarded in favor of a traveling ensemble he had commissioned along with your dress, you escape through the back garden gate to where a carriage was waiting to take you to the kingdom’s port. Sitting on the carriage bench were two familiar poker opponents in a red cloak and a top hat, and the girl swinging the door open from the inside was suspiciously excited about her latest adventure.

Tomura catches Touya’s eye as Himiko pulls you into the carriage.

“Told you she’d come,” his friend says with a self-righteous sneer.

“The notes?”

“Left on each sibling’s pillow and on your mother’s dressing table. I do hope the future King Shouto implements better safety regulations; it was much too easy to sneak through the windows–”

“I’ve no need for the details of how you broke into the palace.”

“Of course not,” his friend sighs, readjusting the reins in his hands. “You’ve already got everything you need, Your Highness.”

“I’m going to roast you alive if we arrive as anything other than safely,” Touya warns with his boot halfway in the carriage and his friend waves him off.

“Yes, yes. Please, sit back and relax. Once you’re crossing the seas to the Isle of Might and that gold is ripping the seams of my pockets, we can declare this whole debacle as put to bed.” At that, the prince ducks inside and the vehicle immediately bounces over a rock as it begins its journey toward the coast. With a cheeky wink, you ask Touya if Tomura was giving him trouble and he can only shrug before pulling your legs into his lap.

“I believe it’s his way of saying he’ll miss me when we’re gone.”

“Where will you go?” Himiko asks curiously.

“Anywhere we want,” he says as he slips his hand in yours once more. “The network I created in my exile is expansive, so wherever your heart wishes to, we will go.”

“What of your family? They were kind to me during our introductions,” you remember with a sad pit in your stomach. “Won’t they miss you?”

“They’ve grown accustomed to my coming and going. At least this way, they can put the rumors to rest that I am the most problematic of the royals.”

“By simply admitting the gossip is true,” you agree.

“Words can’t bother me if I’m not around to hear them,” he concludes contentedly. “Especially if we are too busy reading and playing cards in the libraries of the Isle of Might.”

“Tomura, Jin, and I will keep the peace in the kingdom while you’re away,” Himiko vows and Touya snorts. “What, you don’t trust us?”

“I trust the place will go to hell if you three are the ones running it in my stead,” he deadpans and his friend’s mouth drops in indignation.

“I think they’ll be just fine, as we will be,” you state with finality and he has no choice but to smile and relent.

For the first time in a long while, he believes it too.

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#dabi x you #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #touya todoroki x you #touya todoroki x reader #touya todoroki x y/n #mha x you #mha x reader #mha x y/n #touya x you #touya x reader #touya x y/n #bnha x you #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n

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nerdygoth77 · 10 months ago

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Some of my favorite Porter Gage lines!

“Keep your irradiated ASS away from me”

“Boss”

“Piss me off and I’ll still kick your ass from here to the Atlantic.”

“Sure was fun! Huh Boss?”

“I ain’t got the brains for mazes”

“How's it go? “This town ain't big enough for you and me?” Awh nevermind :(“

“Ain't no way people paid for this shit, I refuse to believe it.”

“Who the hell's idea of fun was this shit?”

“Ever feel the tiniest bit hurt that the institute hasn’t tried to replace you with a synth? I mean c’mon! I’m important. I-I’m worth replacing......”

“Think about it…. If beer is still good after two hundred years.. Is it really something worth drinking?”

“Personally, wouldn’t ever trust anyone to knock me out with gas or whatever, even if they claimed they were going to help.”

“Can you imagine… having so much extra shit you’d need someplace to store it all”

“Not paying ATTENTION-” (I fuck up a lot and trigger traps LOL)

“Not a big fan of being underground, so the sooner we wrap this up the better.”

“Once upon a time, I suppose folks had nothing better to do than sit around outside”

“Greeaaat, because I ain’t seen enough trees and grass.”

“Like I hadn’t already seen enough glowing shit to last a lifetime.”

“Believe it or not, this is more civilized than some places i've lived”

"One of these bugs ever takes me down you tell people I died from trippin’ over my gun, fallin’ off a cliff, anything! It would be less embarrassing.”

“Places like this….Makes me realize life was mostly shit before the bombs fell”

“God…. Being in here is soul sucking.”

“I hope you know where you’re going, I forgot my map.”

“Least we ain't gotta worry about being hit by a train…..Right?”

“No question that shit was made to last…Maybe the wrong shit but still.”

“Me? I like night time. Something about it just feels right.”

“You’re a real stunner, ya know that?”

“Are you shittin’ me”

“Ever seen a dust angel? Bettin’ I could make one.”

“Shiiiiitt I hate getting weeettt”

“I’ve got a strong stomach, but ewwugh.”

“You’re my kind of crazy boss.”

“Boy do I love watching you work.”

“Anyone ever tell you….your ass looks great in that vault suit.”

“Don’t know about you, but I can’t see in the dark.”

“You’ll always be the overboss of my heart- Hehehehe I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t keep a straight face.”

“Blamo”

“Sheeeeeettt”

“Don't mind me, just throwing up a bit in my mouth here.”

“Damn, I hate insects. Like I needed something else to wipe off my fucking shoes”

“VerMIN”

Everything. Just everything he says is wonderful. His voice is so fucking sexy.

"I'm not that big of a dick"

"Bullshit. Without me I'd be scraping your guts off the floor"

"Before you start pissing all over the plan, why don't you take a minute to hear me out."

"You ready to listen?"

"You're one ruthless son of a bitch aren't ya?"

"Awwwhh C'mon :("

"Just give this a chance, you might even have a little fun."

"Tell yuh whut."

"Everything all peachy with our friendly neighborhood psychopaths?"

"Welcome home, boss."

"I knew you had it in you."

"Next, the fun stuff."

"You look like shit."

He refers to getting high as "Getting blitz." LOL

"Well that oughta make things more interesting"

"hehehe OOPS."

"The fun we can have in this thing!"

"That one have pictures in it?"

"I like a good haul as much as the next guy-"

"You sure you got everything? There's a few more rocks you haven't picked up."

"I never had the hands for that kind of shit. Glad you do."

"You got some nimble fingers there huh?"

"You okay?" (When he shows concern?? UGH)

"Well now, would you look at that."

"Oh for the love of-"

"You gonna build me something nice?"

"Lookin good, Boss."

"oooh, gutsy."

"Pretty tough mutt you got there." (Any dialogue about Dogmeat is great)

"Aww, look at how nice and clean this is, and I here am, dirtying the place up." (one of my favorites)

There's so so many more but I didn't want this to get crazy long

#porter gage #fallout #fallout 4 #nuka world #nuka cola #fallout companions #fo4 #fo4 companion #fo4 dogmeat #fo4 companions #fallout 4 dogmeat #Fallout 4 Porter Gage #fo4 porter gage #porter gage x original character #totally didn't take this from a super long list I have for fanfiction purposes

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pudding-parade · 14 days ago

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Three sims, all judging you. :)

Since the release of the "legacy collection" thing, I've been seeing a lot of TS2 on my dash, and while it doesn't make me want to install and play TS2, it has sort of made me a bit nostalgic for the ways I used to play it. So, I decided to do a (sort of) Prosperity Challenge in TS3. Since how TS2 works is quite different from how TS3 works, this manifests mostly in doing all the random number generation from that challenge to decide the composition of each starting household and what the characteristics of each household member will be. (You're supposed to use a die roll to decide how many families to start with, but I pre-decided that I wanted six households, so I didn't roll for that.)

I finally finished creating the households last night, 24 sims total, so the above is three members of one of them, which consists of twin brothers (because they rolled as the same age, so I just used two iterations of the same sim that I had in my library), each of whom has a wife and a child-age daughter, all living in the same large house, which I'm imagining that the brothers inherited.

I'm gonna stick the rest of my babble behind a cut, so if you want to know more about what I'm doing in this, you know what to do.

I'm using Great Bear for this, a world that I've wanted to use for something for a long time because it sort of reminds me of home, because I didn't want yet another save in Meadow Glen. LOL It seemed like a good choice for this "challenge" since the residential lots are ready-to-go and there are some larger houses, which is good because two of my households have six starting members. I've done some small changes/additions to the world, mostly so that it has all rabbitholes so that all rabbithole careers are available but also things like editing one of the world's many parks to be a seasonal festival lot that also has live performances, which is good because the fairy brother above rolled to be in the Singer career. But mostly, it's just the world as-is.

I've also compiled data for a Tempest preset based on my own hometown for it, which I'll be sharing once the data gets translated into actual preset form. I also still need to create the Story Progression settings profile that will control various aspects of this thing, so that's next on the to-do list for this thing. That'll be fun. LOL

Like I said, I pre-determined that I wanted six households, but other than that I (mostly) followed the challenge's rules for determining the composition of those households, except that I disallowed starting with elders. The reason for that is that I'm NOT going to freeze the other households when I'm playing one of them, and I'm going to play each of them for a season, which for this save will be 18 days long each. So by the time I start playing the last household on the list for the first time, 90 in-game days will have passed. I am playing with very long and realistically-proportioned lifespans -- 12-day "years" so that babies are babies for 12 days and children are children for 108 days, and YAs are YAs for 204 days, etc. -- in this save for this very reason, but still, since I rolled for a starting age for each sim (not a starting lifestage), if I'd included elders, some of them might have started old enough that they'd have died before I got to play them. But, some of the older adult starting sims might become elders before I get to them, so there's that. LOL

For further randomness, I used this random sim generator that I found to generate most of the characteristics of each sim. That sprinkled in a couple fairies (one of the guys above and his daughter), a couple vampires (which I've never done much with, so that'll be interesting, though one is only a toddler), an adult witch, and a young adult merman. Of particular interest was that it generates hobbies to focus on for the sims as well as lifetime rewards to target. I've never really used the lifetime rewards in the game, so I decided to incorporate those for this save, for something different to do, though I didn't end up using all the "targets" that the generator spat out because some of them weren't applicable for the particular sim. I ended up making a numbered list of all the LTAs in the game and then using a random number generator to assign them, rerolling if I got one that wasn't appropriate for the sim in question. I'll have each Sim acquire the LTAs in the order they generated.

Overall, this challenge has always interested me because its set-up method sort of gives you a backstory for each of the households. For instance, the rules say that all members of each starting household must be related to each other, which can cause some interesting things.

One of my households, for instance, consists of a 28-year-old human woman, a 13-year-old human boy, an 8-year-old human boy, and a 3-year-old vampire boy. Since the household members have to be related, I figured that I've got a young single mom with three sons, one of which was the result of a teen pregnancy and one of which is (somehow) a vampire. So, in my head, this is a woman who was forced into marriage as a teen (because of being born into a religion that encourages child marriage) and that she escaped from, and then, post-escape, she had a dalliance with a vampire, resulting in son #3. She's starting off poor (I rolled for starting funds), hampered with younger children, one of them "special needs" in a sense, and with a traumatic background from which she is still deprogramming, and will have some struggles as a result. So, that makes for interesting story-telling (at least in my head) just from the household composition. The other households are interesting, too, though not in the same way.

I don't know if I'll share this gameplay much. Assuming that I stick with it, it will quickly become complicated and hard to portray in blog form. Maybe I'll just make posts about the starting households and see where it goes from there. Maybe I'll end up posting about just one of the households. I dunno. We'll see where it goes, if it goes anywhere. For me, a lot of the fun of this was setting it up. Whether or not actually playing it will be fun remains to be seen. :)

#sims 3 #sims 3 gameplay

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itsohh · 11 months ago

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With You

A/N: Female reader, the cheating tag is there cause well I mean, Deimos has a wife lol.

Summary: After a mission goes wrong you find yourself in a decade long coma only to find out that your mentor betrayed your team and is currently the world's most wanted.

Word count: 4784

Warnings: Angst, cheating, age difference, power imbalance

Masterlist AO3

2012

A curse left your mouth as he held you pinned against the floor. The second that he kept you there was almost a lifetime, eternal as time slowed down. Completely trapped under him as the heat radiated from his body onto you. If you weren't already hot from training you were certain your checks would have heated up. Time sped up again and he removed himself from on-top you. “Going to have to last longer than that Rookie.”

By no means were you new to combat, yes you were younger than most of the operatives but you weren't a rookie. You didn't dare say that to Gerald though. At the end of the day he was right- you were less experienced than most of the other Rainbow operators. Gerald knew that your enemies wouldn't go easy on you so he didn't go easy on you.

“I know.” You finally answered him as he handed you your bottle of water.

“We're doing overtime tonight, I want to see improvement.”

“Can’t, I've got prior plans.”

Gerald froze at your refusal. “Prior plans?”

“Uh huh.”

“How in the hell do you have prior plans? This should be your biggest priority.”

“Yah know they reckon half of the fight is menal right? Plans Morris. A life. I need to breathe a little or else I'll get lost in our work.”

“You should be lost in our work. It's us or nothing.” He took a swig of water from his own bottle, obviously eager to get back into it. Yet you ignored his body language.

“I should go. It's certainly late enough.” You mumbled the last part and got off the mat. With a small goodbye wave to Gerard you headed towards the locker room. Yet when you reached the corridor which lead towards it a hand suddenly yanked your arm.

Gerald looked you in the eye with a look you couldn't quite gauge. It wasn't quite fury but more akin to authority. Control. “Cancel your plans rookie.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. I need to just let loose for a moment. I need to relax.”

“You need to train more if you want to stay alive. I think that's a little more important than putting on a cocktail dress and getting wasted like a whore.” He mocked.

Your hand went slap him but he caught your wrist and pinned it to the wall. He took a step towards you and used his body to sandwich you against it. For a moment neither of you spoke. Each time you breathed his chest would press against your while your eyes remained locked on his.

“You can't speak to me like that.” You finally found the courage to speak.

“I don't think your in a position to make demands are you sweetheart?”

At his question silence ring in your ears and you were painfully aware the pair of you were the only ones left in the room, hell even the building. His free hand came down to your chin. “I don't know how you have lasted this long. Sweet thing like you.”

Your brows narrowed at him. He had been in combat with you, he had seen what you could do. But you had to admit hand to hand was your weakness. The possibility that he was trying to rile you up did occur to you and you studied his face. There were a lot of things people had said to describe you sweet was not one of them. “No one gets close enough to take me.”

Gerald hummed and his body pressed against you. No longer did you breath to touch him, his entire body was for against yours and you could feel his warmth through his shirt and your bra. “This job swallows people. I have to have time to remember I'm a person.” Your voice was practically a whisper as his lips brushed against yours.

“I can show you that. Cancel your plans with your friends. Stay here. We can take it easy and be productive.”

“I never said I was going out with friends.” Each time you spoke your lips brushed against his and you could feel his breath on your face.

His eyes flicked to your lips and then his lips were firmly against yours. With a moan you kissed back against him. He kissed like he fought, hard and full of passion like his life depended on it. His lips were consuming, controlling and demanded everything from you. With your free hand you found the back of his neck and tangled your fingers into his hair before you yanked his head back.

Gerald let out a groan that seemed to ignite in his eyes and he stared at you.

“We can't.” You whispered.

“Why not?” He let go of your wrist and parted slightly from you.

“You’re my superior.”

“Trust me, that won't affect anything.”

“You’re- you're married. You have a wife and kids. You love your family and I'm not going to ruin that. I'm not going to be the other woman.” Despite how bad you wished to continue, you pushed on his chest and slipped away from him.

“Europa.” Your nickname fell from his lips like a prayer. Lips that had been just previously against yours. Lips that you ached for, your body so cold now that his was gone.

“I won’t tell anyone. I care about you too much for that. A moment of weakness.” You swallowed and looked to the floor. He repeated the name again but this time was a little bit closer.

“Go spend time with your wife Morris. I'll improve on my own time.”

2021

The sun was almost painfully bright, your body disobeyed your commands. Weak in your own skin it took almost your entire strength to move. Each breath was heavy as you sat up and attempted to look around.

It was obvious you were in a hospital and you let out a little groan. The fucking grenade. You had seen it and reacted a little too slow. The metal table had taken the brunt of the impact but you had still been sent flying. A breath left your lips. Morris would no doubt give you a hard time about the matter.

There wasn't any flowers near you. Only an empty vase that hadnt been filled in a long time and a teddy bear which had ‘get well soon’ sewn on it. A layer of dust covered it and you couldn't help but wonder how long you had been there.

When you tried to move your legs they only barely moved and you decided not to test your luck by standing up. Your eyes found the call button for a nurse and you pressed it.

A brief curse was heard out of the open door and a few moments later a couple of nurses locked eyes with you.

“Holy shit she's awake.”

2024

It had taken you three years but you were almost back to were you used to be. Your coma had left your body frail and weak but over time and therapy you managed to build your muscles and strength back up. No one from Rainbow had contacted you but you found you did have pension and quite a lot of backpay.

That was the case until a knock tapped on your door. You had only barely heard it through the small gap of you changing songs on your phone as you worked out. “Coming!” You called and put the phone down.

The door was opened only a crack and you peered outside. A red headed woman and an older man stood here. “No soliciting.” You went to close the door before the woman jumped into action and called your name.

Still you went to close the door.

“Europa!” She called and you froze. It has been a long while since anyone had called you that. “That's what they called you right? May we come in and talk?”

Your hand went to the pistol you kept next to the door and aimed it through it. “Who the hell are you people?”

The man pulled out his wallet and showed you his identification. GIGN. The woman fumbled for a second and did the same. FBI.

“We're from Rainbow.” He smiled and you paused and slowly you pulled open the door and flipped your gun into your jacket.

“I thought Rainbow disbanded.”

“It did but was reactivated in 2015.” She explained. You allowed them both inside and closed the door behind them. “My name is Doctor Gustave Ketab and this is my coworker Eliza Cohen.”

You brought the two over to your lounge and sat down at the sofa. “I would offer you two some tea or coffee but I don't really want you in my apartment so can we cut to the chase?”

They glanced at each other before Gustave took the lead. “We heard that you recently woke up from a coma-”

“-If you call three years recently okay.” You interrupted him. “Look cool you guys got reactivated but I'm never going to be the same as I was and I've already been discharged. I'm actually quite happy living my little life here.”

“It's not you that we are looking it's about someone you worked with.”

“You want information?” You cocked a brow. Despite having to write reports about everything you didn't blame them coming to the source, there was a lot of information that was omitted from those reports.

Eliza pulled a folder from the inside of her coat and placed it on your coffee table. With the corner of your pinkie finger you flicked it open to be met with Gerald's face. A breath of air was sucked through your teeth and your brows shot up. A chill ran down your spine and your heart ached at the thought of him. You hadn't seen him since that night.

“Gerald Morris. That's uh a name I haven't seen in a long time.” You looked away from a moment as you pressed your lips together. “He was my superior, my mentor I guess. What do you want to know about him?”

Each word had your heart race and you could practically hear the blood rush in your ears. “Can you tell us what he was like?” Gustave asked.

“A real fucking hard ass. Let me tell you he pushed you to the limit. A real bastard but he took care of me.” You swallowed. “He took care of his team. Was pretty instant on sticking to the book.”

“We're you close?” Gustave asked.

Sweat stuck to your bra and you were sure if you were glad that you had been working out of not. “I mean yeah, he was my mentor. We were close, sure.”

You leaned back against the sofa back and looked at them. “Why? He's not still at Rainbow is he? Should have retired by now.” You mumbled.

“You haven't had any contact with him since waking up?” Eliza asked.

“Last time I saw him was ah probably what ah 12 years ago? Is he okay?”

Eliza turned the page on the folder and you started to read the file properly.

“I don't- no he wouldn't.” You frowned. “Gerald cared about his team. He wouldn't-” You cut yourself off with a frustrated sound and rose to your feet. “He wouldn't kill Bogart.” Your teeth clenched and you walked away from them.

“I'm sorry this must be hard for you to hear-” Eliza started.

“-We were a team. I didn't even know Daniel died.” Your voice grew quiet and you leaned on the back of the sofa. “We always had each other's backs.”

“Can you tell us anything about them?” Gustave asked.

“What can I tell you? They were both good men. They both cared so much about helping and saving people. Both of them trained me but then again who didn't in Rainbow? I was everyone's little pet project.”

“Pet project?” Gustave prompted.

“Everyone had something for me to improve on. With Gerald it was hand to hand, Daniel helped me with improving my marksmanship, when he had the time Six would help improve my stealth, Bishop would teach me tactics when she could, you get the idea.”

“Your record says that you were a marksman, yet you had Bogart teach you?”

“That man was insane. Definitely one of the best shots I've ever seen. I would have been a fool to overlook his help. Why did Gerald kill him?” You were fast to get the question out and be done with the small talk.

“There's a lot that's happened. It's best if you read it.” Gustave answered and you sighed. A link blink later you sat back down on the sofa and resumed reading his file.

For five minutes you didn't say a word. All you could do is reread the file over and over.

“We're wonder if you would know of anything that would set him off and lead him down this path.” Eliza explained when you glanced at them.

“I don't know. I was already in a coma when all this happened.”

“Look if there's anything at all?” Gustave leaned forward and you could see the implication behind his eyes.

“If there's something you wish to ask, doctor, ask it.” Your nails dug into the sofa.

“Were you sleeping with Morris?” Eliza immediately asked and the man slowly turned to face her. The question certainly wasn't subtle.

*No.” You spoke without hesitation. “I didn't sleep my way to my position if that's what you were wondering. Six brought me on because he saw the potential in me and because I was fucking good.”

A breath left your lips and you forced yourself to calm down. It was a reasonable thought, you were young and one of the only women there. “Things weren't left entirely professional though.”

“What do you mean?” Gustave asked.

“The last time I saw him, we had an argument. He wanted me to train in overtime and I wanted to have a break that night. Things got heated and he kissed me before I rejected him.”

“You weren't afraid of the consequences that it would have on your career? Normally rejections don't go well for most people.” Gustave asked.

“I was more worried about the consequences it would have on him and his family to be honest. I’m not sure if I loved him.” A lie. “But I certainly cared about him and I like to think he cared about me. It wasn't a rejection based on unrequited feelings. It was a matter of circumstances. Gerald isn't that man- wasn't that type of man. He wouldn't let it affect our work life but it didn't really matter in the end did it?” You bitterly chuckled to yourself.

“I wanted him to be happy with his family but it seems he had other ideas. I guess I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. Maybe at all.”

“Would you come back with us and speak to Gerald. We are hoping that he will open up to you.” Gustave asked.

“Gerald isn't that type of man. His principals are always going to take priority over how he feels. I won't do jack squat and I really don't feel like being used to get a reaction out of him.”

“It-”

“-You lot seem like good operators hmm? I mean your part of Rainbow. You don't fucking need me to do your job. Figure it out.”

“Join Rainbow again. We could use your skills-” Eliza started and you barked out a laugh.

“-Are you fucking insane? Rejoin Rainbow? I thought I made myself clear earlier. Fuck no, I just fucking said I don't want to be a puppet in your game. Do you people not listen? Is that a requirement for being a Rainbow op these days? Now I think you two have outlasted your stay.”

“He's hunting us down. Even in captivity he seems rather certain he has plans to kill us all. Currently that's 62 operators. He has the skill, the smarts and the information to do so. Every day we don't get through to him is another day that he gets close to accomplishing that goal.” Eliza leaned forward and you could heard the desperation in her voice, the slight crack in it.

“These are our people. Our friends and right now your one of our biggest leads.” Gustave backed her up.

“What about his wife and kids? Did you dangle them in front of his face too?*

“Non. They believe he is dead, it's nicer that way.”

“Why not just let me believe the same?”

They didn't answer you and you sighed. “I will talk to him but I'm not being your puppet. I will say what I want to say to him and what I want him to answer. There's not going to be any integration room or one way mirror. No cameras. I want to talk with him normally in a fucking room.”

Gustave started to make a sound of protest but Eliza spoke.

“Done.”

“May we request someone to be there with you? For your safety. At least.” Gustave asked.

“No. I told you. This is for me. Not for you, say what you want afterwards I don't care. I'm not being your puppet.”

“Okay.” Eliza nodded and stood up. Gustave didn't seem happy but didn't complain. “Here's a flight back to base, we will meet you there.”

“At Hereford?”

“Yes.”

It was strange being back. Somehow the place was completely different but almost exactly the same at the same time. A guest lanyard stayed around your neck as one of the operators showed you around.

“Here's were you will be staying. It's close to the SASR ops but the walls are pretty thick.”

“Thanks Campbell.” He opened the door and you dumped your duffle back on the bed. There wasn't much for you to take.

“Please call me Miles.” He smiled warmly. “If you have any questions feel free to hit me up.”

“Alright thanks.” He left the room and you were finally alone. There wasnt anything to unpack, you prefered to keep everything in your bag. The only thing you did get out was a chunky bracelet which you put on and his beneath your hoodie.

Ten minutes later there was a knock of your door and you promptly opened it. “Cohen.”

“Normally I would have done this tomorrow but I doubt you really want to wait that long.”

She started to lead you down the hallway. “There's not a lot of places he can go unsupervised so I'm afraid we have to put him into an integration room if you want to be in the same room with him.”

You started to protest but she continued on.

“I know this isn't what you agreed to but we can turn off the cameras and the one way mirror. No one will be there with you, you will have complete privacy. It wasn't easy to get you the department leads protested a lot.”

“...Thanks.” You weren't very overly grateful but it seemed like the right thing to say.

“You have fifteen minutes and if we don't hear from you someone will come in after. Knock four times when you're ready to leave.”

The pair of you reached the interrogation room relatively fast at her slightly uncomfortable fast walking pace. “He's already in there.”

She looked towards the door. “Black out will happen when you go in.”

You opened the door and walked inside. The first thing you noticed was the one way mirror turned clear and then the orange light from the camera turned off. Behind your hoodie you hid and sat down opposite to Gerald.

He didn't say anything, he didn't seem to care about your presence. You took the bracelet off your wrist and placed it in the middle of the table before you clicked the switch on the side of it.

Curiosity got the better of the man and he spoke up. “What's this?”

“It's known as the bracket of silence. It's microphone jammer.” You looked at hima nd brought your hoodie down. Right away his face softened up and his lips parted slightly.

“You’re awake.” His chained hand reached towards your face, specificly the scar that had formed on the side of your head. You flinched slightly when he touched you but didn't stop him.

“Of all the time for you to wake up, it's now.” He seemed frustrated by the thought.

“I've been awake for three years now.”

His brows narrowed and he pulled back his hand.

“Been doing physical therapy and shit like that. Maybe if you visited you would have known-”

“I visited.” His voice raised before he swallowed and repeated himself quieter. “I visited you whenever I could even after Rainbow collapsed. Even after I faked my death I visited you. But after 7 years…”

“You gave up hope?”

“I accepted that you weren't waking up. I had someone who was supposed to keep an eye on you but it seems like I'm going to have to have a long conversation with them after this if it slipped that you were out of hospital for three years.” His first clenched and his jaw tightened.

“Does it matter? From the sounds of it, your hunting down all of Rainbow anyway-”

“No, not Rainbow. Not us, those imposters who parade in our name. I could have helped you, I should have been there to guide you-”

“When? In between your terrorist hobbies? In between killing Bohem? Cause it sounds to me like you are killing us-”

“That was an unfortunate sacrifice I didn't have a choice-”

“You always have a choice!” You slammed your hands on the metal desk. “He was out leader, our commander, my mentor, our friend.” Your voice choked nd you looked away. “You made the decision to kill him.”

“You weren't there.” He growled.

“No shit I was in a fucking coma but it doesn't change the fact you killed him.”

“They set you up!” He jumped up from the table.

“What?”

“They set you up. Your mission I read-”

“-No I fucked up. I didn't react fast enough.”

“Just listen to me for one moment, woman!” His loud voice had you paused and you nodded for him to continue. “Your entire mission was fucked the moment you got it. There was no possible way that you could have completed it alive. I'm surprised you even completed the objective. Not because your bad, far from it. The mission was stacked against you. They should have sent in more people with you. It wasn't fair to you and they were going to leave you behind when you failed.”

“How am I here then?”

“Because I found out about it. I was on your extraction heli and went in after you when you went dark.”

Silence grew between the pair of you as you absorbed the information. “Aren't you tired of being a pawn?”

“Yes.” You looked him in the eye. “I am. Which is why I'm in my retirement. Something you could have done.”

“I couldn't just retire.”

“Why not? You could have been happy with your family. You would have been an honorable man who finished his time.”

“There's still too much work left to do.”

“What? Killing the next generation? Doesn't sound like work. It sounds like you're a bitter old bastard who can't let things go.”

Gerald stood up for his chair with fury in his eyes and you continued. “You know they offered me a job. If I took it would you kill me too? If I was there instead of Daniel would you have killed me?”

“No. No it wouldn't have reached that. You would have listened to me.”

“Would I?” You titled your head as you challenged him. Slowly you walked around the table until you were next to him and looked at you. “I told you once that I needed breaks because this job could swallow you whole and this is exactly what I meant. I think you need therapy. Proper therapy where you want it to work.

I think if I was there that day you would have put me in the ground the same way you would put me in the ground now if I got in your way because you see people not as people anymore but pieces. Pieces in the game where only you can win. It will never be enough though, how far will your righteous crusade go? How many lives must be taken until you're satisfied? Fuck it let's make it a little easier huh.” You grabbed his hand and brought it to your throat.

“Kill me. That's what you do right? Kill your own people. Betray those you're close to. Who else was closer to you in my team but me right?”

Gerald stared at you and you watched as the clockwork behind his eyes turned. He blinked and you could tell right away he was back in control of the situation.

His hand tightened around your neck but he didn't choke you, it was just to hold you. This thumb gently stroked your jugular before he pushed you back against the wall. Gerald's eyes lined with yours and his lips parted.

“I wouldn't have killed you. Maybe you wouldn't have listened but I never would have had a reason to kill you. I could disarm you with ease. If I had to I would have taken you with me. I would have kept you safe.” He came closer in a proximity that reminded you of last time.

“You're not a threat to me, you've never been. I couldn't kill you back then for that same reason I won't kill you now. It's the same reason why you wouldn't have killed me if you were in Daniel’s position. You’re not a threat to me.” The repeated phrase of your own words had your hand clench into a fist. You weren't sure what pissed you off more, that or the fact that he didn't take you as a threat.

“I hate you.” You whispered as his lips brushed against yours.

“No you don't. I can tell you want to, you really want to but you don't.” His hand moved from your throat up to you jaw where he used it to hold your face as his lips connected with yours.

His lips moved slowly against your but firmly. It was like he was testing the waters but savouring every last second of it. “You would have done so well at my side.” He mumbled as he parted, his facial hair still brushing against you. “Bishop was wrong to sign you off on that mission. She should have sent me with you.” His other hand cupped the other side of your face.

“I completed the objective, that was a solo mission for a reason. Bishop’s tactics worked.”

His fists slammed on the wall above your head and the chain on the cuffs rattled.

“It would have cost you your life.” He hissed and his eyes pointed at yours. You looked away from him and you heard him sigh. Slowly you looked back at him. Gerald calmed himself with a deep breath and his forehead met yours where he gently rested it.

“It already stole a decade from you. The risk of a solo insertion was too high. I should have been there.” Gerald's voice was quiet. The bottom of his face pushed forward and once again his lips were against yours. Once again there was a sense of slow urgency, as if he couldn't properly speak. Like somehow those kisses could make it better, that they couldn't explain matters.

“But you weren't.” You whispered when he parted. You ducked down from under his arms and went towards the table. “You weren't there Morris. I went into a coma and you betrayed Rainbow. You became the very thing we were supposed to stop. I heard the stories, how are you any better than Nowak?”

“Nowak was an incompetent arrogant asshole who turned traitor because he didn't have any self worth.” He spun around and grabbed your wrist.

“Well you have three of those traits down don't you?” You snatched your wrist back and turned away from him dead set on the door.

“Europa.”

“You know I think I would have preferred it if they just told me you died. It would have been kinder.”

He called out your name once, twice but didn't move to stop you.

You took a few steps toward the door and knocked four times. The door soon swung open and you didn't look back.

#deimos x reader #gerald morris #r6s x reader #rainbow 6 siege #r6s #hes a lot more serious in this one because theres that inital respect of being in Rainbow together #posted this on mobile so I think all the formatting wiped #goodbye italics my beloved ✊😔

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pixies-and-poets · 1 year ago

Text

Smithy Gang Headcanons

Hi, friends! I'm extremely grateful for the positive feedback on The Forging, and definitely want to write more SMRPG stuff; I've just been working on other priorities lately. However, my brain has been busy churning stuff over, even if I haven't had the time to sit down and write a story yet.

So I wanted to jot down some of my headcanons for the Smithy gang, specifically the forging order of the main members. I thought of a sequence where Smithy created each as a response to shortcomings he saw in their predecessors. This timeline will serve as a framework from which I can write future stories.

I don't think there's anything here that goes directly against canon, but I'm not as much of an SMRPG expert as I am with some other games lol, so feel free to tell me if there's some kind of Japanese-only line that contradicts me. Also let me know your own ideas if you want!! I am new to being a proper fan in this fandom :P

First, some general notes: I don't really have a good definition for who Smithy himself is, where he came from, or what his world is like, and I don't know if I ever will, since I find some degree of ominous mystery to be more interesting. Also - while I've seen the Gang described as "robots", while that may be true in a sense, I think of them more as "constructs" - I don't think they're powered by wires or circuitry or anything like that, but rather arcane magic. They are not powered by AI, even in the sense that a more nuanced and self-aware robo-sentience might be (see examples in the Marioverse: TEC, Beep-0, JEANIE), but a more traditional type of consciousness/soul that Smithy has learned to work with, as if it were yet another material. (This isn't abnormal for the Mario world, where we already have living bullets and bombs and the like- and in an ironic twist, also makes them somewhat similar to Geno, who is a consciousness inhabiting a form that would not produce sentience or mobility on its own.)

This isn't really a fic, although it's long enough to be one, lol. I hope you enjoy!

First there was Exor; but Smithy did not create him. In fact, Exor was Smithy's beloved blade, the reason for his obsession with living weapons in the first place. But Exor is a being even more ancient than Smithy, who just happened to bond with him in his lifetime. The sword can grow to a massive size, and is never truly destroyed, but will reappear and reforge itself throughout history. The otherworldly creature that attached itself to Exor and brought it to life has been known to some as the Neosquid.

Now Smithy, in a sense, was his own first experiment - gradually replacing his organic parts with malleable metal, not only to extend his own life, but to make himself more suited for a variety of purposes. This was a process that never really had an end, as he was always experimenting, creating new heads for himself. But when he was satisfied enough with his initial efforts, Smithy sought to create life in his own image, and in the image of his beloved Exor. Among other adventures, he spent time in Subcon, the Land of Dreams, studying the enigmatic nature of consciousness - at least enough so that he could harness some of its unfathomable magic for his own ends.

Boomer was the first of Smithy's prized creations (yes, because I like the idea of the one called "Boomer" being the oldest). Originally created to provide a sort of companionship to Smithy in the form of strategic advisory and being a bodyguard- and also to provide friendship, although Smithy would never admit it. Over time, Smithy became distracted with his newer and flashier works, and grew tired of Boomer's overly serious and staid nature. Though their relationship has grown distant, Boomer's fondness, gratitude and loyalty for his creator has never faltered, and he will defend Smithy to the very last of his existence. In turn, Smithy has never put forth plans for machine-made Boomers- the younger creations speculate it's because he's too outdated a model for this to be worth it, but perhaps it's because even now, Smithy considers him irreplaceable.

Bowyer was the next-forged. Smithy sought to make a commander who represented a long-range weapon, to contrast with Boomer's katana; and also a more creative and inventive personality to offset Boomer's traditionalist and unadventurous nature. When Bowyer was born, Smithy found that he had accidentally gone way too far (in his opinion) in this new direction, leading to a creation that was so erratic he refused to even speak like those around him. Smithy found Bowyer a hard-to-control troublemaker who would rarely listen to him (or Boomer) and seemed unhappy most of the time, not fitting in with the world he had been forged into. Bowyer would also leave arrows all over the place, sticking out of random things in the weapon world - this is when Smithy had the bright idea to create arrows with consciousness, so they could return to their leader on their own. To Smithy and Boomer's surprise, Bowyer became a lot more joyful and content when he met his little Aeros, and they all became an inseparable entourage.

Smithy became creatively blocked while trying to think of his next big project, largely due to the stress of Bowyer's early behavior. Instead, he came up with a number of smaller-time minions, some of which were the Shymores, based on the Shy Guys he had observed during the time he had spent in Subcon. The Shymores were a playfully destructive group, and after seeing Bowyer's happiness with the Aeros, Smithy decided to forge a creation who was destined to be a leader from the outset; and also one with a mischievous streak, yet toned down from Bowyer. And so he made Claymorton, who later called himself Mack. He was a beloved leader to his rowdy group, but perhaps too social- he ended up neglecting his own training, preferring to play and mess around with his friends, and thus never became very strong on his own.

By now, Smithy was growing frustrated by the failures and flaws that he saw in the personalities of his creations. He decided to think extra hard about the character of his next project: this would be someone who could work completely independently - brilliant, shrewd, capable of powerful magic spells and illusions. Yet Smithy made sure to write in an unflinching loyalty to himself into the new creation's code, so to speak. And lo: at first Speardovich seemed everything Smithy could have ever wanted. Proud, powerful, but knowing his place. He needed no minions, and thus was never distracted, as he could split his own form and consciousness so that one being could do the work of many. He might appear to be older than Bowyer and Claymorton, but in fact he is technically not; he was just created from the outset to be more mature, with the moustache to prove it. And yet, over time, the cracks in this personality began to show. Speary was pompous and did not get along with the other creations when necessity called them to work together. And his respect for Smithy manifested as simpering; a begging for praise and attention which the smith found increasingly unbearable. He was always coming up with unasked-for ideas and input, such as: perhaps all the machine-made units could take the name of a spear in a different language, and "speardovich" could be their overall model name, and that he quite liked Yaridovich for himself personally, and perhaps it would be alright if- but no, Smithy would have none of it. While at first he had beamed with joy at this newest creation, he soon enough kept him at arm's length (or spear's length?) as well.

Finally, Smithy hit upon a brilliant idea - his next creation would be a group of (mostly) equals who could depend on each other without a major power imbalance, keep each other entertained, and stay out of his hair. The Axem Rangers were born, all bearing an energetic and youthful personality which they are still yet to grow out of. They were given control of the Blade, and sent to scout various worlds. They often picked up slang and brought home entertainment from the places they visited, and developed a countless number of inside jokes. The other commanders, and especially Smithy himself and Boomer, found it hard to keep up with them. However, Smithy considered their existence a big success, and remained very proud of them- although this might be due to the fact that he ended up not having to interact with them that much.

...So, that's what I have for now! I'm not sure where all of the Factory enemies fit into this; based on their descriptions, I think Clerk/Manager/Director aren't creations of Smithy, but are the same species as him and recruited from his homeworld. Same with the Chief, aside from possibly not being the same species. Smaller minions like jabits and the hammers would be produced at various points that aren't super relevant to this larger narrative. Count Down was probably made as a fun side-project when Smithy wanted to take a break from weapons per se, and see what he could do with an object like a clock. Gunyolk was confirmed to be created by the Chief. And Cloaker and Domino are weird outliers; I want to say they would be among some of the first things Smithy made, or the latest, in some kind of more abstract and experimental period.

Again - let me know your thoughts and ideas!

#super mario rpg #smrpg #fan analysis #fan theory #smithy gang

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badgalsasuke · 7 months ago

Note

Currently debating against a Sasusaku shipper, what I've learned about them so far :

1. Their favourite light novel is Sasuke Retsuden, it's 100% canon BECAUSE Kishimoto DREW the art in the cover and that's enough

2. The Last movie and novel are NOT canon because it all came from studio Perriot's imagination and have nothing to do with Kishimoto and his brilliance in writing. Thus Naruto's character and a lot of other stuff seem to contradict canon, but Sasuke Retsuden is definitely 100% flawless and true shut up

3. Sakura is a great mother because she dosen't let her kid talk back to her, Sarada is asking TOO MUCH questions, Sakura was just parenting, Sakura was so right for destroying their entire house over their heads. Know your limits Sarada how dare you ask questions about someone as unimportant as your biological father

4. Kishimoto planned for Sasuke and Sakura to end up together since the begining, the proof? Idk go look it up (no they literaly asked me to go look it up from WHERE? God only knows)

5. Sasuke loved Sakura since they were kids, proof? Yeah what do you think? Obviously go look it up on your own, it MUST BE THERE SOMEWHERE if everyone is saying it

6. Sasuke blushed a thousand times at Sakura when they were kids and blushing is ALWAYS a hint for romance since we all know that us human beings aren't capable of blushing for any other reason

7. When Sasuke calls her annoying he actually means thank you, because her words get to him and make him consider not doing something bad but he's too tsundere to admit it so he's like : "y..you're..too annoying! Sakura no baka!💢" Also Sasuke obviously dosen't know how to express his feelings.

8. He obviously put her in genjutsu to protect her and if you believe otherwise you're a fool

9. Sakura is literally the 🌺🌟Spring💫🌿 and Light💡 in Sasuke's life. It was said in the novel, so it's true. She brought him out of his darkness when no one else could. Naruto who?

10. Sasusaku have some Edward Cullen mind reading Twilight shit going on because they can understand each other without words. Sasuke can be gone for a lifetime without sending a letter but she can still understand everything that has been going on with with him the moment she looks into his eyes. She perfectly understands that if Sasuke spends even a second away from his mission Konoha and the rest of the shinobi world will cease to exist why can't you understand!!!??

Girllllll this is insane! LMFAO I've seen them make this same arguments over and over again. Where did you find this specific Sasusaku shipper? Tiktok? Twitter? or is she here on tumblr?

What's funny is that Kishimoto didn't even design the cover, he just drew the design someone else comissioned [LINK] So if he didn't write the story and the cover wasn't even his idea well how is it canon at all right? The coping

This beef Sasusaku shippers and Naruhina shippers have is so bizarre like shut up! both of you ship mid! mid supported by nothing but filler! What's funny though is that Kishimoto ended up being a bit involved in The Last, he didn't write the whole script but he did make some corrections here and there unlike Retsuden where he had absolutely no input. Nothing! Nada!

Mind you Sarada was scared af and crying after Sakura reacted so violently but yeah she's the mother of the year ig

They take this from the same interview in which Kishimoto talks about how he killed Neji to bring Naruto and Hinata together (FujiTv in 2014). In this intervie he also talks about how hated Sakura is. Somewhere there they got the idea that he planned for SS to be endgame from the very beginning.

I suppose they mean all the "blushing" and scenes of Sasuke "protecting" Sakura in the Chuunin exams for example.

Their infamous blushing collages they make of Sasuke blushing when Sakura is around so they believe he's blushing because he loves her LOL

Just coping. That man is insulting her and they know that because they see how Sakura reacts to the insult.

Yeah, you don't psychologically torture your loved ones, plus he put her in a genjutsu right after insulting her but since they believe Sasuke is being a tsundere well they just don't get it.

This isn't true. They stole that quote from a Gege Akutame interview (writer of JJK) [LINK]

Pretty sure they got this from Sasuke Shinden/Retsuden where Jun Esaka wrote Sakura being able to tell how Sasuke is feeling or what he's thinking but yeah, just more filler non-sense

#ask reply

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spiderman616 · 3 months ago

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oh my god help I xont really get how people like miku as much as they do but I've never heard anyone say they don't like her possibly because they would get hit with hammers immediately on sight. like I think she's neat enough cute design etc but then there are people who really really like her and it's just she occupies the same space in my mind as mascot characters... what if everyone really liked chuck e cheese and if you ever said you don't really get the hype everyone called you a spiteful hag. world im living in. sorry for how i sound right now they're putting me in the Russian sleep study

no yeah its like. i just dont care lol. i dont have anything against vocaloids in terms of music or anything even if im not a very big fan but the insane "fandom" around hatsune miku specifically really annoys me which is where my dislike stems from. ive seen a lot of jokes about the character (if you can even call her that? feels more like a brand image) and none of them have really been funny at all. ive just had enough hatsune miku to last a lifetime

#the chuck e cheese comparison is spot on though LOL

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kaikaikarasu · 11 months ago

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Hey ish! Your school would be starting in a few days and here a few things I wish someone told me when I was about to start my journey for 11th! Some of these might apply to you too even though the paths I have and you will be taking are completely different.

Next 2 years are gonna teach you a lot. They'll put you through the highest of high and lowest of lows. They'll change you as a person. They'll teach you so much about life (and also how people can be). Things would get overwhelming at times. You wouldn't understand what the fuck is going on at times. A lot of times you'd be left confused and hurt and alone for both, academic and non academic reasons. Also, you'd get a lot of career advice so you need to know how to filter out the useless ones! The best way to check authenticity can be reflect on the achievements of the one giving advice.

Even though your classmates might be in the same stream, you'll realise that everyone has a different story and that, in the worst ways possible too. There'd be times when it'd feel like none of your peers understand your visions and aim for future, there'd be times you wouldn't have a buddy to chat about your life philosophies with who also has the same opinions as yours (but remember to not give up on people as a whole okay? You'd find people you vibe with at the end of the day, you just have to be bold enough to put yourself out there!)

There'd be also times you might end up severely over worked and sleep deprived (but make sure not to drink so much coffee that your hands and shaking and your heart is beating so fast that your body goes into fight and flight mode thinking you're having panic attack lol). You know ish, these 2 years might completely make you or break you, but remember to not give up despite whatever situations you might end up in.

I personally was a several-Olympiad-gold-medalist kinda overachiever till 10th (even in 11th lol, i didn't sit for it in 12th because my priorities changed. And I overlooked it, don't do that. Celebrate your smallest wins and remember to appreciate yourself for the smallest milestones or you'll end up severely burnt out. It has happened to me twice over the span of last 4 years till now.) But even I ended up seeing the greatest academic downfall i ever had in front of my eyes at many times during these 2 years. And you should know that it's okay. A lot of people are going to be tough on you but try your hardest not to be one of them. Being kind to oneself can be difficult but try your best okay? And you said you are a perfectionist aren't you? Take care little dove.

I've seen a lot in these two years too. A lot of your academic experience also depends on what kind of teachers you get and me, personally, oh my teachers were pos and sadists. They'd bully me for the most stupid reasons (haha losers. You said i wouldn't be able to do it? Well. fuck y'all ✨ [you'd have to learn to be indifferent at times and not let their or anyone else's words get through you. Learn to develop a strong self belief.]) and I seriously hope you get better teachers.

But oh ish not every elder is bad, you'll get some amazing teachers whom you'd never want to break ties with. Hold on to them! okay? You'd also get really amazing friends who you'd know are going to last a lifetime and would be there for you in your toughest times. Hold on to them as well! Some bastards are too good to let go. Ha!

And also, in return, remember to be kind to your peers because you don't know what they might be going through (not to scare you but I had 2 of my friends who'd almost commit suicide, so yeah it can get scary for both, you and them at times but remember to heal them with your love and support. It's an age you all need each other!)

It's gonna be fun, full of lessons, scary, exciting and adventurous at the same time. You'd hate it sometimes and you'd love it sometimes, but despite all MASTI NAHI RUKNI CHAHIE!!! You won't ever get these 2 years back so make sure you don't walk out without making some amazing memories!! Vandalise stuff, copy the sign of principal to escape the school, bunk the classes (to study or not, your choice) have deepest conversations and most light hearted jokes and banters the exact other day, sleep in the class, eat from under the bench, give impromptu speeches on seminars and farewells, break rules....whatever ish. Whatever gets your heart pumping and adrenaline rushing. Because while it's the starting of peak years of your career, you should remember to be a human and have fun at times too. It's okay. It's normal. It's needed. One shouldn't be guilty about it.

Getting less than perfect marks on a few tests isn't gonna harm you as much as you think it will. The ones who love you will continue to love you. The ones who admire you will continue to admire you. The ones who support you will continue to support you.

Baki, main hun idhar hi ❤️ kabhi bhi kuch problem ho toh AA Jana apni badi behen se advice lene, I'll try my best to help you out. As I said the other day, the pain and trauma these 2 years have put me through has only served to make me more empathetic and protective of my juniors so if you come to me with loads of rants i won't say cliché things like "Stay strong". I'd first and foremost listen to you and simply that. I'd listen to you for as long as you want me to. Because sometimes you'd simply just wanna be heard ❤️

I'll try my best to be there for you! If nobody got you, I do! Remember that, okay? ✨

... Dear gods, I don't even know what to say. You made me cry. Like, tears actually sprung up in my eyes. Happy ones, though. Don't worry too much.

I'm not one for physical affection but I would've hugged you so hard if I were there. Thank you. This genuinely made my day.

#you're so sweet chechi thank you thank you for taking the time to send me this and to offer your support #never thought 🥹 would be me irl but here i am #hugging you tight rn virtually hope you know that #and i want to say that i'm here for support too okay? it's a two way thing. i'm also here to listen.#asks: nami!#familia nami #krish's favorites

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caffeinefafnir · 6 months ago

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TL;dr: how a simple hobby keeps me from collapsing (bc we really don't pay enough attention to mental health as a society)

So earlier this year I was writting a fanfic and that's been like, the only anchor to sanity I've had for a long while. I started out on a whim one night and spewed out around 10 pages in one night. I've started at 11pm and stayed up till 5am writting. It's been such a fucking nasty year (bc all the shit started last November actually) where I've been struggling with family issues, health issues, being unemployed and struggling financially, and then the feeling of being left behind when my partner got a job and I didn't, and a lage etc. Suddenly in May I got posessed by this supernatural impulse to write a fanfic after what felt like a lifetime (around 13 years). Days turned into months, one draft became 5 separate stories abt the same characters, I discovered what whump was thus rediscovering something I was really adept to without even realizing it, followed closely several challenges althougth never pressured myself to participate (bc deadlines and I don't get along) and on top of that I started a completely new story of a genre I had never dreamt of exploring before.

Around June I was writting a super emotional scene of my side fanfic. My fave character had attempted suicide and failed, and it was a super heavy scene where she talked about this with a friend in the most nonchalant way (at first) and he was completely shocked and devastated. I was writting this at a cafe, my favorite one, and had to make a real effort to keep a straigth face while typing out bc I tend to act out the feelings as I describe them and my eyes were getting all red and wattery. But everything was fine and I got the full scene toghether. And... I felt so incredibly lighter and happier after that.

I've been trying to find an explanation for it since then. I've been battling depression since a long time now, 10 years, but I hadn't felt suicidal since a long long time ago. But I know too damn well the feeling of the symptoms of depression going away, and BOY what I felt was like a MIRACLE! The floating sensation? Just knowing everything is going to be better? Damn I missed that. I had felt it before a few times in prior years when something significantly good happened, when I went regularly to therapy, etc.

The weirdest part is that things weren't even particularly bad at that point, and even when they were the absollute worst around February I hadn't seriously thought about suicide not even once. It was more like homicidal rage at that point haha, but nothing about harming myself. I keep thinking about it ever since, how optimistic I was for the next month or so before my mood got worse due to environmental reasons. And I still went to that part over and over again to correct, add details and overall finishing the rest of the fic but this proved to be a difficult feat since I never could get myself into the same mood again.

And I'm like... what?? Why did this particular scene caused that blissful effect on me? I've never ever been in that exact situation, surely I fantasized about it (we all do at some point) and I know I'm far from cured of the depression for I still feel some of the indicators of its presence, but the change in me since I wrote those pages was explosive and intoxicating. Maybe I was channeling everything through my blorbo in ways I didn't knew I could, maybe it's just the fact that she got listened at without judging or being accused of faking it/being a failure/blowing it out of proportion, maybe bc she was feeling as lonely and unseen as I currently feel to the point you can disappear for days and nobody would notice (or at least that's what you tell to yourself)

I'm worried that if I tell all this to my therapist she'll institutionalize me haha. For real. I dunno what they normally do in these cases lol. Also I don't want to tell her yet that I write fanficiton since I´m not ready to explain an Xgen-er what is it and why my generation hype so much abt it

#fafnir ramblings #to think that I still have so much pain to inflict in these poor little meow meows #the fanfics is not even done yet #and then I have another one abt substance abuse but now I'll have to wait till next whumptober I think #tw sui ideation #tw sui attempt #tw depression #ao3 fanfic #fanfic writers #whump writing #whumpblr #whump community #tw sui talk

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miladydewintcr · 6 days ago

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Happy Friday! So first a question haha—so Viveka is not Eleri's daughter? Just bc it would fit so well with the MW backstory of being left on their doorstep, lol. Anyway I'd love to see some backstory drabble post-dao about why exactly she abandons her child and what Zevran is doing about it if he even knows? 👀

Ahh no, you're right the MW background would be perfect for it!! But no, Viveka's biological parents are v much a mystery she isn't all that invested in solving, instead she collects Authority Figures- starting with Myrna & Vorgoth and then picking up more as she goes through Veilguard.

Eleri's kid is a de Riva!! I've just gotta figure out how to get them there lol, I think I have a few rough ideas? I've just gotta settle on one and run with it!

Thank you for this prompt-- it really helped me figure out the role Zevran would play in it all in particular <3

For @dadrunkwriting

Hours, and hours, and hours. She’s exhausted, and drenched in sweat, and when she hears the baby cry out for the very first time, it takes everything in her not to reach for it.

“Would you like to hold her?”

“No.”

Garance looks up from the wailing bundle in her arms. “Are you sure?”

Eleri nods. She has to be. “Where’s my husband?”

Someone opens the door, and Zevran is by her side so quickly she can only imagine he’s been pressed up against the wall outside for a good long while. He is ready, just as they’d discussed; dressed all in black, cloak and boots with a dagger at his hip. Travelling gear.

He holds his arms out, taking the baby from Garance, and lets it settle contentedly against his chest. In another world, in another lifetime, he would’ve made a wonderful father- but not this one, and not with Eleri. Still, the way his expression softens as he looks down at it makes her heart clench with guilt.

“You are alright, yes?” he asks, looking up from the baby and in her direction for the first time.

She nods. “I’ll be back on my feet by tomorrow.”

“I might not be back by then, but I’ll be as quick as I can.”

“Just find somewhere safe.”

It’s the most she could hope for. Her lifestyle is not one a baby would fit into, and she refuses to give it up. The constant travel, the threat of darkspawn, the fighting, the Deep Roads, the inevitable siren-song of the Calling- none of it makes for a stable environment for a child. And perhaps, if she asked for it, the King and Queen of Ferelden might be able to grant her her freedom. And she would… what? Go back to Denerim, raise her baby in an alienage. Or demand Alistair give her a castle, and suffer the knowledge that such a blatant act of favouritism would win him no favours at court; for whatever sort of hero she might be, she is an elf, and such things are not easily forgotten.

This is the hand that she was dealt. The harshest of punishments; the only life she could ever imagine feeling fulfilled in. She cannot pass it on to an innocent. She doesn’t have the strength to surrender it entirely.

“Do you have anything you wish for me to leave with her?” Zevran tries. “A… letter, or a trinket, anything like that?”

Eleri had thought of that. She’s thought of everything. “Take Fang.”

Zevran nods once, and she knows he is more than aware of the weight of her response. Fang had been her mother’s, her grandmother’s, and back, back, back through generations of her family. Whatever happens, it will be something, some small thing, to connect this child with her across all the miles and through the years.

Eleri catches Zevran’s hand before he can leave. “Make sure they know not to sell it or… or take it.”

“I will ensure they know that parting our angel from her dagger will be the last thing they do,” Zevran promises, squeezing her fingers gently. “Have you named her?”

She shakes her head. “And I won’t.” The less she knows about it, the better. She hadn’t even wanted to know it was a girl.

Eleri is familiar enough with Zevran now to recognise the stiffness in his answering smile, the unnaturalness of it all. He’s holding himself together by a thread, and she hates that it’s because of her, a choice she’s made.

The baby shifts, starts to cry again, and Eleri hopes her smile is more convincing than his. “Go.”

“I love you.”

She squeezes his gloved fingers by way of response, and then releases them. And for a moment, a tiny, brief moment, she gets to see him rock their baby, offer it one of his genuine smiles, the ones that make his eyes crinkle and little dimples form on his cheeks.

And then, with a sweep of his cloak, it’s over, and they are gone.

#Did I name Garance by opening a list of French baby names and picking one at random? perhaps #Eleri Tabris #my fic

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openphrase123 · 9 months ago

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i realize this may not be the best time to ask because of the last post you made, but how do you find the motivation to keep up with so many projects at once? the fact that you can is both inspiring and also very scary and i'm jealous. "average person writes 1 fic in their lifetime" WRONG. ficwriter openphrase123 who writes 3276453287 fics in their lifetime all at once is a statistical outlier and should not be c

oh this answer got long here's a readmore

well first of all. i have a boring dayjob that lets me marinate big ideas on the backburner. i can turn my thinking brain off for 90% of my projects at work. i've been working there for seven years, i can plot fanfiction in my head without taking a single performance hit LOL

second. um. i'm thirty in like four months. that is in NO WAY old, but i have been on this earth long enough to know when i, specifically, cannot execute or follow through an idea. i only pursue projects i know i can reasonably finish without going crazy. i just kind of. know how my brain chemistry works? i have reasonable expectations for myself?? i'm friends with my brain even if it likes to overthink or be anxious or have seizures or go down weird ocd-adjacent thought paths

third, which feeds a lot into the above point. but when you are in your teens and twenties it's going to take you some time to figure out the rhythm of how you work. i like to take a lot of mini breaks in between what i'm doing. this does not work for my girlfriend, who has ADHD and is like "if i take a break i will never recover" so she doesn't do that. brains are all different and you gotta find what works for you

fourth. well. this one might just be me. but the reason i have like 8 concurrent projects is because when i get tired of one, my brain is VERY happy to latch onto another one. no matter what i'm doing, something is getting done?? that's why i was writing 3 fics at once trying to decide which one to do next. and why i couldn't figure it out and had to leave it to a tumblr poll

and, fifth. idk. i don't write fanfiction when i don't want to? if you look at my ao3 account i haven't done it since. like. 2021? and before that the last time i wrote any fanfiction was in like 2013. of which i cannot track down that old accout but i swear it probably exists?

s.sixth??? and this one is going to sound the braggiest. and maybe it is a little bit. i'm good at this? not like. naturally. i wasn't born writing 100k fanfics. but i've been writing fiction for like. most of my life. i wrote a lot of awful stupid shit before i started writing good shit. i'm not falling asleep at the wheel or anything but after you're making art for enough time, it more easily falls into place. after doing it for so long you develop an intuition for the kinds of projects you will be sufficiently motivated for. i don't know how to describe this without sounding like a pretentious asshole. maybe i can allow myself to be for like five minutes. i've earned it

i hope that helped??? my brain kind of just. does stuff. i've trained it over the years to do stuff in the direction that makes me happy!! i wish my brain would let me go clean my bathroom instead but eh. tradeoffs?

#i hopeeee this isn't braggy i'm just like. well. i do things because i like them?#but like i didn't write Any fanfiction yesterday cause i Did Not Want To. i was playing dnd and weeding the garden #and now today i want to. so i'm doing it!#also i type fast i think? 100wpm? that might help #do i THINK in 100wpm? sometimes. kind of. maybe like. 50 wpm. but i have the Capacity to be fast #anyway i'm done procrastinating for REAL

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cryptidsurveys · 1 month ago

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Sunday, April 6th, 2025.

Do you have any goats? I do not.

Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? I don't have any current plans to get a new pet, but Esther and Karenna are getting older (they'll be fifteen in a few months), I know they won't live forever, and I just can't imagine being without cats because I've had them for my entire life. It's not something I want to rush into, though; it has to be the right cat, the right timing, etc.

Would you rather be a panda or grizzly bear? I feel more like a panda because I'm just sort of ineffectually bumbling my way through life, but I would rather be a grizzly bear.

Do you like BBQ sauce? Yeah.

Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? Nope.

Does your house have a pool? It doesn't.

Do you own an iPad? I don't.

What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? I don't want to get into specifics, but some of my spiritual and political views have shifted or evolved since…let's say starting around 2017-ish.

What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? Even though it won't necessarily improve humanity in any way, I'm probably most interested in aspects of space exploration. Like, it would be really cool to me if we discovered even simple microbial life within our solar system.

Are you and your SO Facebook official? I don't have a significant other and I don't use Facebook.

Have you ever bathed in a river or a lake? Yeah.

Have you bought a bag of potato chips in the past week? My dad bought some while grocery shopping earlier this morning, but it's been a while since I've purchased any for myself.

What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I guess my first "real" job was working at the animal shelter where I currently volunteer. I only lasted a month because my mental and physical health just weren't up to par. I could probably handle a similar number of hours now because I'm pretty much already doing that (and more) on a volunteer basis, but I'm so scared of taking the plunge only to crash and burn again.

Can you drive? Yeah.

Do you spend too much time online? I definitely spend too much time watching YouTube videos and reading through comment sections, time that could be more productively spent doing something else, but…eh.

Do you like to travel? I wish I could magically be at my dream destinations because actually traveling is kind of a nightmare for me. Plane rides, car trips, etc. No thank you.

Why will/won’t you and your ex get back together?

Do you use the words "I love you" too lightly? I don't think so.

Do you like pizza? I do.

Do you use an alarm clock? I don't normally need one because I wake up early enough on my own, but just in case.

Name something that is currently making you happy. Miss Esther kitty sitting on my lap.

What do you want for Christmas this year? I don't want anything specific gift-wise. I just enjoy the holiday atmosphere as a whole.

Are you excited for the holidays? Always. From September to December, I am in my element.

Name one tattoo you would like to get someday. I don't have any current tattoo inspiration.

Are you afraid of stink bugs? I don't think I've ever encountered one before.

Do you wear contact lenses? I don't. I wear glasses while driving or when I need to see a distant menu, but that's pretty much it. Lol, the other day, Kristen, River, and Liv found out that I wear glasses, and Kristen was like, "You should wear them here sometime!" and I was just like, "Nawww." I think it might have been later that very day, but Liv was next to me at a stoplight, the one where I turn left and she turns right to go to our respective houses, and SHE SAID SHE SAW ME. 8D

Have you ever danced in the rain? I have.

What was your last dream about? I can't remember much about last night's dream, but the night prior to that involved an injured cat. At first, it was just a large wound in one of its legs, and I radioed that we needed to get this cat to the vet ASAP, but as the dream progressed, it was like its whole middle and backside disintegrated to nothing but bone. I couldn't even fathom how it was still alive. There was a point when it seemed to be "regenerating," for lack of a better word, and it even managed to eat a little bit, but I was like…literally where is that going to go. You don't even have a BUTT.

Where was the last place you went besides your house? Grocery shopping.

Do you feel like you're judged for your looks? People probably do judge to some extent, but I don't feel overly scrutinized.

Do you fight with your parents a lot? The last time my dad and I had a big fight was back in October of 2023. We've butted heads occasionally since then, but nothing nearly so severe. I haven't had any fights with my mom since getting back in touch. There was one instance that seemed like it was going that way, but it turned out alright in the end. We didn't even fight during all that family drama in Sept 2024. I'm actually really surprised because past me probably would have gone scorched earth.

Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over. Why? Never.

Do you like hot sauce? Yeah.

How bored are you right now? Slightly. I'd say it's a normal level of boredom for a day off.

Do you think you would make a good model? Uhhh.

Are you a good singer? No.

Do the Emergency Alert System noises on TV freak you out? Not really.

Describe your perfect date. Hiking and picnicking, visiting little coffee shops, cooking or baking together, cuddling in bed, etc.

Do your parents trust you? Yeah. With limitations. Like, my dad wouldn't trust me to drive in super bad weather because I don't have a whole lot of experience, but that's reasonable.

Do you like pot roast? Yeah.

Have you ever thought about being a stripper? No.

Are you flexible? No.

Can you wiggle your nose? I can scrunch it like a bunny…?

Have you ever played Mario Kart? It's been years, but yeah.

How often do you go shopping for clothes? Maybe a couple of times a year. There's really no set frequency to it.

Do you have a high IQ? I've only ever taken internet IQ tests and I don't know how accurate those are. I have no idea what my actual IQ would be.

Would you ride a motorcycle if you had the chance? I've ridden on the back before, but I wouldn't want to ride one by myself.

Have you ever been bitten by a dog? Not seriously.

Do you like the smell of cinnamon? Yeah.

Do you like frogs? They're alright.

Are you afraid of dying? The thought of dying is far more appealing than it should be, but I'm afraid of leaving behind people who would miss me, or going through with it only to regret it and wish I had tried harder at life.

Do you like bananas? Yeah.

Where's the last place you've been to out of state? Georgia.

What are you listening to right now? I'm not listening to anything.

Would you rather use a trackpad or a mouse? A mouse.

Do you like steak? Yeah.

What was the best gift you've ever received? The time of other people who actually want to be around me and know me and listen without acting like it's a chore or I'm some kind of burden. <-This. Nothing is better than feeling like my presence genuinely matters to someone.

Tell me one of your pet peeves. When my cats walk across my keyboard or art tablet.

Do you like to keep your nails painted? Naw.

Are you a Duck Dynasty fan? I'm not even sure what that is…

Have you ever played with Silly Putty? I have.

Do you take in a lot of caffeine daily? Mainly in the form of migraine pills. I drink decaf coffee at home and only a small amount of caffeinated coffee at the shelter.

Do you know a lot about history? I guess I know a fair amount…? I do enjoy history and watch a lot of history-related content, but I have a terrible memory when it comes to that sort of thing. I'll retain broad strokes and random details, but not much more than that.

Are you allergic to pollen? Some types.

Would you rather play Xbox or PlayStation? No preference. It depends more on the game than the console. Really, though, I would rather watch someone play instead.

Have you ever worked at a fast food place? I haven't.

Do you like hot tubs? Ehhh.

Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? My dad. He's doing well, though. Things are stable.

Are you good at doing fractions? No.

Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? No.

Would you rather get high or get drunk? The last time I smoked weed I got horribly dizzy and spent a long time in bed waiting for it to pass. I'd feel more in control with alcohol, but even then…even though it's tempting…it's not really something I should do.

Do you like the Silent Hill movies? I've never seen them.

Did you ever want to be a doctor? No.

The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? A bunch.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 1 month? I don't even know how I would react to a relationship or romantic interest at this point.

Have you kissed someone with braces? Pretty sure I've kissed people while I had braces, but I've never kissed anyone else who had them…as far as I can recall, anyway.

Is this the best year of your life? I've made a lot of progress since last April, but I think April 2023-2024 just felt better. I was making more drastic changes, and I was super hyped about it. Things now feel relatively slow and steady. I haven't made any big leaps since increasing my volunteer hours last summer. Plus, the start of 2025 has been kind of rough.

Can you have more than one best friend? I don't care how people define their friendships.

What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Hot chocolate.

Would you ever let your grandma set you up on a blind date? My grandparents have all passed away.

Do you ever wonder if you will get in a car accident and die? I try not to think about it too much.

So your ex comes to you and says “I want you back”, what do you say?

Which was worse for you: freshman year of high school or of college? Ugh.

What is the last language you spoke, other than your first? Swedish.

Would you ever consider moving to a different country? Probably not seriously. But as a daydream, sure.

What is your favourite food from your culture? Idk.

Other than your name, what was the last name someone called you? I'm not sure.

If you could find one long lost friend of the past, who would it be? Aside from the nostalgia factor, I'm not all that interested in reviving past friendships.

Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? My hair.

Have you ever been to a nursing home? Yeah. We visited one when I was in scouts as a kid.

#survey #surveys #personal survey #survey blog #random survey

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