#I've got to save up a lot of money for a convention i'm going to this fall so i've gotta crank em out! cosplay isn't a cheap hobby ;w;

[quarklynx]

Sun's out, so you know it's time for my super spectacular summer sketch sale! Come get em while they're hot! Consider supporting a small artist by reblogging this post. Inquire via DM's or at quarklynx.contact@gmail.com My regular commission post can be found here

[merrikiwi]

What we got up to in July 2024

Writing this blog post is an idea I came up with because it is fun but also because it forces us to reflect on the month and what we did. We've been trying (badly) to keep track of all the things we watched in the year so we can do an end-of-the-year retrospective of all the media we enjoyed so heeeeeeere we go.

July, July, July, what a busy month we've had. From L getting a new job to us running our first convention stall selling our art. We have truly been busy, but that has not stopped us from having fun with all kinds of media. Whether to relax or to research we watched a lot last month so lets talk about it.

Movies Movies are a good place to start. I've been trying to keep track of the movies we watched on Letterbox like I do with anime on MAL. I just like having a big list of all the things I've seen I can't help it XD. 

For my birthday we did a Gentleman-themed movie night. First, we watched The Gentleman a film I've been trying to get L to watch for ages and my birthday seemed like a great opportunity. And guess what she loved it. It's Guy Richie so you know the cinematography and editing are going to be fun a least. I didn't remember how homoerotic it was but I'm all for it. I think the gangsters should kiss. 

We also watched The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare... Also Guy Richie. It even had Henry Cavill but they couldn't save this story from being kinda meh. It sucks because I was looking forward to it but It just felt a little all over the place. You never really get to know any of the characters and the action felt excessive considering the real-life versions of these people managed to do this operation with only one injury. 

The last movie I can remember watching was Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets. Our hopes going in were so low but it was actually really awesome. The world and story are just so interesting and well-made. It feels like a passion project from the director. It's just plain fun times. 

TV

For the small screen, we watched The 8 show, A tv adaptation of two Manhwa Pie game and Money game. The show chose elements from both  to create a kind of mish mash of the ideas from both. I hadn't read them but L had so I got to turn and go "Omg did that happen in the Manhwa". I wouldn't want to spoil anything but if you're a fan of death games its very compelling. 

My main criticism of the show as a whole was that the violence in the latter half was actually really hard to watch. It felt excessive and unrealistic. You will watch a character get their head bashed in with a baseball bat multiple times and will be fine the next day. It gives it this kind of unrealistic uneasiness where you're real-world perception of how much damage the human body can take is confused for the sake of plot convenience and shock. 

L: It made some interesting adaptations and outright changes that were mostly good but it is very different to both manhwa. Which is a good thing. I've read it already so show me something cool you can do with the idea!

Anime

Anime was a large part of what we watched as usual. We have completely stepped off the seasonal train and as a result have been enjoying anime from all over... anyway we watched Dungeon Meshi. If you have seen our most recent video you know we love this show. It's genuinely a 10/10 and I can't wait for the next season. I don't want to be basic and make more videos on it but I kinda do. 

Shangri-La Frontier was another anime we brought up in the last video as it was just overflowing with passion and skill. We still haven't finished it with 2 episodes to go.

I Was Reincarnated as the 7th Prince so I Can Take My Time Perfecting My Magical Ability; was also fun but for very silly reasons. I can't sit here and claim it's inherently good but it was fun and easy to watch. Sometimes that's ok.

Lastly, for anime, we have Black Butler. omg, it's so fun. we're only 10 episodes into our rewatch at the moment but it's been about 10 years since I last watched it. The English accents in the dub are particularly awful I love it. 

Its interesting to look back on the anime we watched and see exactly how we went from watching these to writing the Passion and Skill video. I can see what elements of each show inspired what elements of the video. This is cool and fun and nice. 

Games

Don't worry we are nerds of the highest order so we played some games too. I've been playing a few in the last week or so. Star Ocean Divine Force, Orks Must Die 3 and Circus Electrique just to name a few. I've been ping-ponging back and forth between all of them. 

The big game of this month however has to be Spellforce 2. I played 3 and really enjoyed it but the jump back to 2006 graphics was a hurdle I had to vault and I'm glad I did. The game has a lot of interesting elements that they stripped out for the sequel. Unsurprising considering the game changed hands multiple times between the 2 games. It really feels like a classic CRPG with strategy elements instead of a bunch of strategy maps with some RPG-style quests for good measure. It was fun and just as I thought I was finishing it the game kept going. I have no idea where it's going to go next.

L has been playing the Demo for Blue Prince pretty religiously. I don't think ill see her again once the full game comes out but I won't say too much because I think there's a little video/strategy guide on the horizon. You should see the spreadsheet. 

L: Spreadsheet :3c 

Conc

If I could conclude this rambling blog post for July in one word I would say Expanding. Because our tastes are changing and expanding. I'm excited to see what I get to enjoy next month. 

Anyway, this blog post is more for us to store thoughts than anything substantial at the moment but if you enjoyed reading it let us know. If you want better-worded thoughts check out our YouTube videos and if I actually stick to this new idea see you next month.

[gingerlee-holds]

Chapter Two: Rest Assured

Here's the second chapter of my ongoing fic titled 'Wake Up, Keidima!', a MHA alternate universe where an OC of mine ends up in Class 1-A. If you'll allow me to winge a bit - in the dub (which I watch), the names of all the students have been flipped. You see, Japanese naming conventions go like (Family Name) (Given Name), whereas in the West, it's the opposite. In the dub of MHA, they flipped the names to make it make sense for a Western Audience™ (Iida Tenya became Tenya Iida, for instance). This is very enfuriating, because I've named my OC Eivi Keidima (Family name Given name), while all the other characters are (Given name, Family name) as in the show. This really bugs me but whatever. Just keep that in mind going forward, alright? Keidima's name is the Japanese version (it's too late to change it now) and everyone else has the English version. Okay? Okay, now onto the fic:

Word Count: 6239

 "You... did what?" the old man grumbled, adjusting his hearing aid.

Jodonaki cleared his throat and spoke up for his sister. "She got into UA, Grandpa!"

"Oh, UA! I'm so proud of you, sweetie! Mazel Tov!" Grandpa Eivi Gadazi furrowed his brow and stared into the middle distance. "What's UA again?"

The twins sighed, smiling. "All Might's alma mater," Keidima said. After getting the letter, the siblings ran to tell their only legal guardian as fast as possible.

"Oh, All Might! That newbie-" Grandpa Gadazi scowled and spat, "I used to be a pro hero, y'know! They don't make heroes like they used to! Why, in my day, I'd be able to defeat All Might in combat with my pinkie finger!"

By that point, the twins were giggling behind their hands. "I-Ihi'm sure you could, Grandpa!" Jodonaki managed to say.

Grandpa Gadazi was a short man and ancient by all accounts. His bald head, once full of curly orange hair, was covered in liver spots, and his whole face sagged with wrinkles. Despite this, he was quick with a witty retort and had an endearing proclivity to wax nostalgic about the 'Good Ole Days' where he was one of the top ten Pro Heroes (the number would change every time he told the story, however). Nevertheless, the money he made as a hero kept the lights on. He wore a white button-up shirt and a pair of brown pants secured way too high on his torso with a black belt. His shoes had been custom-made for one to be higher off the ground than the other because he had gotten into a fight with a villain a few decades prior, necessitating an emergency hip surgery, making one leg permanently longer. He couldn't possibly care for himself, needing his grandson to ensure he was adequately fed and dressed.

As it turns out, Jodonaki never bothered applying to a high school. He had said it was because he already knew how to use his quirk and knew everything he needed to know about the world, but Keidima understood that he needed to stay home to take care of Grandpa Gadazi's failing health. She also understood, using that premonition all twins develop toward each other, that he was deeply disappointed with his lot in life, but he hid it from his sister.

"Y'know, your grandmother had an incredible quirk," the old man leaned back in his rocking chair, smiling into the middle distance. The twins looked at each other, and Jodonaki smiled as he got up.

"I'm gonna make him some soup," he whispered as he left the room.

"She always beat me in a fight, the old bobcat! And believe you me, my pride was on the line, so I wasn't going easy on her!" Grandpa Gadazi's eyes came back into focus. "I always knew you'd follow in her footsteps. She had chutzpah. Have I ever told you how much you look like her?"

"Only all the time, Grandpa."

"Hm, yes, I must have told you before. Sorry, Keidi-cat, my memory isn't as it used to be."

"I know, Grandpa," she said with a smirk.

Gadazi huffed and leaned forward, looking Keidima dead in the eyes. "Being a hero is serious business, young lady. Your grandmother died saving my life, leaving me to raise your father alone. He was a hero, too, as was your mother. They never even survived long enough to go on their honeymoon!"

Keidima winced and looked down at the ground, and Grandpa Gadazi leaned back in his chair again.

"I'm not telling you all this to scare you, Keidi-cat. I need you to understand what's at stake when you go out there to fight villainy. You not only endanger yourself but also your friends and your loved ones. Whole future generations will be affected by the choices you make today." He looked over at the rocking chair next to his, which was always empty, and with a shaking hand, gently rubbed its armrest. "Don't forget who you're fighting for, alright, young lady?"

Keidima looked up into his face and saw the old man tearing up. She extended a hand to his knee and nodded with determination. "I won't, Grandpa. I promise."

Jodonaki returned with a bowl of ramen and a pair of Gadazi's favorite chopsticks. "Sorry, it seems like someone-" he glared at Keidima playfully, "has eaten all the soup! So I just made you some ramen, Grandpa."

"Oh, splendid! Spectacular day!" The old man's countenance instantly lit up as he gratefully took the bowl and chopsticks, and Jodonaki retook his spot on the carpet next to his sister. "So, Keidima! What kind of hero do you want to be?"

"What do you mean?"

Grandpa Gadazi was shoveling noodles into his gumless mouth as if he hadn't eaten a meal since '75. "I mean," more loud slurping, "do you wanna be a hero that goes in guns blazing? Do you wanna be like your old man here?" He thumped his chest proudly before choking on a noodle. Jodonaki jumped up and began hitting his back as Keidima looked down at the carpet, thinking about her answer.

"Wehell? Don't keep me waiting, Keidi-cat. I'm on the edge of my seat here!" Grandpa Gadazi coughed up the noodle but wasted no time in continuing to eat. Instead of sitting down again, Jodonaki decided it'd be better to stay standing in case anything else happened, and he looked down at his sister curiously.

"I just want to be a hero that people feel safe around. I want to be strong and fearless, but more than anything, I want to be a presence that people are comforted by. I want to be like a warm blanket, protecting people from the biting cold of a hostile world and bringing peace to the hearts of those I defend. Villains have gotten more insidious as time goes on, which leads to heroes needing to resort to more drastic measures to maintain justice in our society. The world is harsh and scary, and I want to comfort those who trust me." Keidima looked up and smiled at her two listeners. "Like you!"

Jodonaki smiled as Grandpa Gadazi clapped enthusiastically. "Bravo, Keidi-cat! What a speech!" He leaned forward with a chuckle. "Just be sure not to use that quirk of yours to get out of family gatherings, eh?"

The trio giggled, and the old man handed his empty bowl to his grandson. "Delicious, as usual!" Gadazi exclaimed, and Jodonaki patted his grandfather on the head as he left the room again to do the dishes. His expression quickly changed as he began getting up from his chair, fishing for his cane on the floor, which Keidima handed him. Grandpa Gadazi motioned for her to follow him, and he walked over to his bureau, pulling out a drawer and opening a secret compartment within. He drew a small wooden box out of this compartment and blew the dust off it.

"Here, sit down, Grandpa." Keidima patted the bed, and Grandpa Gadazi grunted in agreement. They sat together, and the young girl looked eagerly at the box as her grandfather slowly opened it, revealing a small, steel wristband. He smiled wide and tried to pick it up but yelped and pulled his hand back suddenly upon touching it. "Woah, are you okay, Grandpa?"

"Yes, yes, Keidi-cat, I'm alright. This wristband belonged to your grandmother. She had a fire-based quirk, you know. Here, feel."

Keidima laid her hand on the metal, gasping and shuddering. "I-it's warm!"

"For you? That's interesting. It's always been scalding whenever I hold it. Feels like I'm touching a steam iron. But you say it's warm..." Grandpa Gadazi hummed in thought and finally handed her the box. "Here, put it on."

The young girl picked up the band and clipped it around her right wrist. The metal was warm, but it reminded her of sitting next to a roaring fireplace, soothing and cozy.

"How does it feel?"

"Comforting."

"Then..." Grandpa Gadazi smiled and stroked a lock of bright red hair out of Keidima's face, "I believe you were meant to have it. You carry her with you now." He looked deep into his granddaughter's face. "You look... so much like her, you know."

Keidima smiled wide and held the bracelet, feeling its warmth. "Thank you, Grandpa. I'll make her proud."

"I believe you already have, young lady." Suddenly, the old man winced and put a hand over his abdomen. "I just... hope I'll still be here to see you become a top hero, just like your grandmother."

"And you?"

"Yeah, yeah, me as well. But I know you'll be so much better than me. I see it in your eyes. It's the same fire that your grandmother had."

"Thank you, Grandpa. I know I won't fail you."

"Oh, so do I!" Grandpa Gadazi laid back on the bed, making all sorts of grunting noises as he arranged himself. He didn't need Keidima's quirk to instantly fall asleep, snoring loudly.

Keidima patted his head as she stood. Looking down at her wrist, the bright, shiny steel made her smile. "I won't let you down. None of you."

-

"Costumes!"

Keidima let out a yelp, jarring her from her daydreaming. She refused to admit she had almost fallen asleep at the kitchen table. "W-whahat about costumes?" she asked.

Jodonaki gave her a funny look. "Uh, you need one, obviously! A hero costume! See, I went to the Town Hall and got you some paperwork for it."

"A hero costume? I hadn't thought about it..."

She scratched her head. "Honestly, I wasn't planning on having a hero costume."

"What! Nonsense! You need a costume, Bedhead!"

"Fine, fine, if it'll make you happy." Keidima pulled the small stack of papers towards her side of the table and began to fill out her basic information. "How tall am I now?"

Jodonaki studied her a bit. "Few inches taller than me, so... 5'10"? Ballpark?"

"Sure, we'll go with that, Jodo," she yawned.

Her brother was practically bouncing in his seat. "I can't believe it! It's really happening. You're becoming a hero, and you're getting a costume!"

"You're right. It is certainly hard to believe..." She chuckled at Jodonaki's enthusiasm. "But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little excited."

Finally, they turned the page and got to the design section.

She hummed in thought as she nibbled the end of her pencil. "Let's see... Are there any special concerns we need to consider for this?"

"Well, to activate your quirk, you just have to focus on something really hard, right?"

"Yeah, but visual and tactile contact help a bunch."

"How about a mask that looks like a sleep mask? I think it'd match the aesthetic."

"Then I'd need holes cut into them, maybe glass put in. Not a bad idea." Keidima began writing down their ideas, sketching the mask. "Okay, what else?"

"Gloves, maybe?"

"They'd have to be fingerless, but yes, good idea." They looked at everything they had so far. Then, Keidima began writing something down.

Jodonaki looked up at his sister. "Wait, you're not planning on going into battle in pajamas, are you?"

"It fits the theme! They'll be green, soft, and fuzzy, with little pockets for hiding snacks. Maybe we'll add a fuzzy pink sleeping cap. Yehes!" Keidima wrote faster and faster, giggling a little as it came together. "Ahahand! Ahahand dohohon't fohohorget-!! Dohon't forget the tactical combat bunny slippers!!" Keidima squealed with delight as she laughed at the situation, almost falling off her chair.

"No, don't write that down!"

"I'm writing it down!" She laughed all the harder as she wrote down the idea.

"You're gonna look ridiculous!"

"Maybe that's my strategy, hmmmmm? I wanna throw them off their rhythm!"

"Bedhead!" Jodo exclaimed before falling into another coughing fit. He yanked out his inhaler and breathed deeply.

"Fine, no bunny slippers - I'll write down a pair of combat sneakers. I don't want anything flashy because that's just not what my quirk is like."

"Okay, but I need to insist on at least some level of protection. Some armor, at least some padding."

"Good idea, but we'll keep it minimal." She underlined that word twice on the form. "I want to focus on mobility and dodging, dragging out the fight as much as possible. The longer I make a fight go on, the more likely my quirk will win out. Knee pads, elbow pads, shin guards, and padding in the gloves but all concealed under the outer pajamas. If some mean bastard comes running at me, I want to be able to dodge without hurting myself."

"Also, remember to put your hair up in a ponytail during fights so it doesn't obstruct your vision," Jodonaki said, pointing at the drawn mask. "But what is your signature piece?" he asked.

"My what?"

"Y'know, the thing that every hero has that's unique. It brings the costume together."

Keidima leaned back in her chair. "I have no idea. Maybe a stuffed animal?"

"No, you can't make that a viable tool in combat."

"Not with that attitude."

Jodonaki suppressed the giggle that wanted to come out and said, "What about a capturing weapon? Like Eraserhead uses?"

"Who's that?"

"Never mind, just focus on this. What if you used a blanket like a grappling hook?"

Keidima looked at her brother, thinking it over. "Is there a material that'd be that strong? And I'd have to learn how to use it... But... it'd be better to learn how to use it and have it with me during a fight. I don't exactly have a very combat-oriented quirk. Yeah... yeah, good idea." She drew the blanket, sketching a bright pink crescent moon in the middle. "What do you think?" she asked, handing the form to Jodonaki.

He stared at it before nodding his head. "I think it looks good. Besides, the form says you can alter your costume later." Jodonaki stood, picking up the form and his handbag, gesturing for Keidima to come up. "Let's drop off these forms, then we can get some last-minute back-to-school shopping done!"

Keidima smiled, nodding as she got up. "I also need a refill on my prescription. No way in hell am I going into my first week of UA without them."

-

The last days of March flew by like a fleeting dream. The beginning of April came quickly, and with it, her first day of school at UA High.

Keidima was ready to go, but Jodonaki insisted on doing his usual series of 'pre-flight checks.'

"Did you take your meds?"

"Yes."

"Did you put on clean socks?"

"Of course I did."

"Did you pack your backpack?"

"No."

"Bedhead."

"Yeah, I packed it. Last night, remember?"

Jodonaki sighed with a smirk as he looked at her hair. "Maybe we should have it be just a little neater."

"Jodo, my boy, you're gonna make the hero-in-training late!" Grandpa Gadazi called from the couch, making her brother grumble.

"I'm just... worried about you, Keidima." He looked at her earnestly, smiling a little. "But, all the same, I need you to know how proud of you I am." His eyes welled up with tears, and Keidima hugged him tightly.

"Save it for when I become a Pro Hero, alright, Jodo?"

He sniffled softly and grinned. "Will do. Now go learn how to save the world!"

"I will!" With that, Keidima turned and ran to UA as fast as she could.

-

She had found her locker rather quickly and looked down at her information card, then over at her map, trying not to bump into any students. "Class 1-A should be right around... here!"

She looked up right as she bumped into another student. "Sorry, I- Mina? We've gotta stop meeting like this, bestie!"

Mina turned and gasped, hugging Keidima tightly as she pulled her friend into the classroom. "You got in! I'm so friggin proud of you!"

"Same goes for you! I'm so glad I won't be starting with no friends. I have you!"

"And me, I'd hope." From behind Ashido stepped a certain smirking red-haired boy.

"Eijiro!!! I was hoping I'd see you!" Keidima practically jumped at Eijiro Kirishima, hugging him like a koala, which made him yelp as he gently set her down.

"Please go to your seats! The teacher is bound to appear at any moment!" a loud and stiff voice came from behind them. Turning, Keidima saw a tall, thin boy with dark blue hair and square glasses.

She chuckled and nodded, making a little bow. "Yes sir, mister sir!"

"It's Tenya Iida to you!"

She giggled softly as she went to seat #19 in the back of class, much to her delight. "Maybe I could catch some Z's back here without the teacher noticing." Little did she know that she was followed the whole way to her desk by the uptight chatterbox.

"And you don't have your hair brushed! Don't you know what kind of school we're attending? Your tie is crooked! How will this class succeed if we can't properly tie a tie? Look at your posture! You're slouching! And you, will you get your feet off the desk?" Tenya turned and walked over to an ash-blonde boy with his legs crossed over the table.

"Oh, thank goodness he left me alone. That's the same boy I saw from the entrance exam, with all the explosions. At least he's taking up that guy's attention."

Keidima must have looked somewhat shell-shocked after the confrontation and looked over at a tall girl beside her, who had a concerned expression. "Are you alright?" the girl asked.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Nothing I haven't heard before," Keidima giggled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.

The girl extended a hand. "Momo Yaoyorozu."

"Eivi Keidima." She shook the hand gladly and looked up to the door to see the green-haired boy talking with the gravity girl.

"Have you seen the teacher for this class?" Keidima asked.

Momo replied softly, "No, I haven't. Have you?"

"No, I..." Her focus was drawn to a man suddenly appearing in a big, yellow sleeping bag at the doorway.

"Hello, I'm Shota Aizawa. Your teacher."

"You're the man I spoke to on the street the other day when we did the entrance exam!" Keidima couldn't stop herself from blurting out, shooting to her feet. She heard a snicker from her right and saw the blonde-haired boy from before (Denki Kaminari, she soon learned) mouth the words, "he certainly looks like he's been on the street," to Eijiro, eliciting a muffled giggle.

Mr. Aizawa's eyes focused on hers. "Yes, we interacted briefly. Don't speak out of turn, Miss Eivi."

With a squeak, Keidima sat back down at her desk, pursing her lips, and got another empathetic look from Momo. The sleepy girl held onto her bracelet, comforting herself with its warmth.

"Right, let's get to it. Put these on and head outside." Mr. Aizawa held out gym uniforms for them.

-

"My size is wrong, again." Keidima huffed as she pulled down on her uniform. "This is ridiculous."

Momo and Mina giggled behind their hands as they walked to the grounds together. As the students walked, Keidima made it a goal to know the names of as many others as possible so that she'd be better able to fit in.

Arriving on the field, the students gathered in a crowd before Mr. Aizawa. "Today, you will be undergoing a quirk assessment test."

"What? A quirk assessment test?" the students asked in disbelief.

Uraraka spoke up, saying, "But orientation! We're gonna miss it!" Keidima mumbled in agreement.

"If you really wanna make the big leagues, you can't waste time on pointless ceremonies." Aizawa looked at them all like children, almost scornfully. Keidima gasped softly. She had been a little excited about orientation. "Here at UA, we're not tethered to traditions. That means I get to run my class however I see fit." Keidima gulped. "You've been taking standardized tests most of your lives. But you never got to use your Quirks in physical exams before. The country's still trying to pretend we're all created equal by not letting those with the most power excel. It's not rational. One day, the Ministry of Education will learn."

Keidima looked down. "What a hard-ass... and he seemed so friendly before."

"Bakugo," Mr. Aizawa began again, looking at the ash-blonde boy. "You managed to get the most points on the entrance exam. What was your farthest distance throw with a softball in Junior High?"

Katsuki thought momentarily, then said, "Sixty-four meters, I think."

"Not a bad throw at all. I think I could throw seventy, but that's only because I played softball in middle school."

Mr. Aizawa motioned him to come forward. "Right. Try doing it with your quirk."

Katsuki stepped forward into a circle drawn on the dirt, taking the softball from Mr. Aizawa's hand.

"Anything goes, just stay in the circle. Go on. You're wasting our time."

"All right, man, you asked for it." Katsuki rubbed his shoulder a bit, and suddenly, a massive explosion rang out as he threw the ball as hard as he could. Keidima let out a yelp and clamped a hand over her mouth.

Aizawa didn't even flinch. "All of you need to know your maximum capabilities. It's the most rational way of figuring out your potential as a pro hero." He held up the tracker in his hand, showing the class what it read: '705.2 meters.'

Keidima gasped and nudged Mina. "That's amazing! This'll be fun, using our quirks like this," she whispered, to which her pink friend nodded enthusiastically. All around her, students were saying something similar.

Mr. Aizawa stared at them all disapprovingly. "So this looks fun, huh? You have three years here to become a hero. You think it's all gonna be games and playtime? Idiots," he hissed. "What did he just call me-?" Keidima indignantly thought as she stood up straight. "Today, you'll compete in eight physical tests to gauge your potential. Whoever comes in last has none and will be expelled immediately."

"Huh?" Keidima's eyes bulged out of her head in shock. The other students didn't take it well either.

"Like I said, I get to decide how this class runs. Understand? If that's a problem, you can head home right now." Mr. Aizawa looked around at each student, silently judging their expressions.

"Great... How the hell can I use my quirk to give myself an advantage here? It'd be rude of me to make the others sleepy so that I do better by comparison. I'm just gonna have to rely on my physical abilities... which are lacking."

Ochaco again spoke up. "You can't send one of us home! I mean, we just got here! Even if it wasn't the first day, that isn't fair!" Keidima nodded in agreement.

"Oh, and you think natural disasters are?" Mr. Aizawa asked, making the sleepy hero-in-training tilt her head in confusion. "Or power‐hungry villains? Hm? Or catastrophic accidents that wipe out whole cities? No, the world is full of unfairness. It's a hero's job to try to combat that unfairness. To be a pro, you must push yourself to the brink. For the next three years, UA will throw one terrible hardship after another at you. So, go beyond. Plus Ultra‐style. Show me it's no mistake that you're here."

"I just have to keep up. I'm already pretty spry. I have to land in the middle of the pack. Some of these other kids have quirks that won't help much here, like me. With any luck, I'll end up with some wiggle room."

"Now then. We're just wasting time by talking. Let the games begin."

-

A fifty-meter dash.

Keidima crouched on the start line and looked over to her left, seeing what appeared to be an empty gym uniform floating in the air. "Hey! Toru Hagakure, right? Or a ghost, maybe?"

The invisible girl giggled. "And you're Keidima, right? What's your quirk again?"

Mr. Aizawa cleared his throat. "Quit wasting time. On your marks..."

"Best of luck, Toru," Keidima prepared to sprint as fast as possible.

"Get set."

"Yeah, you as well! Chat later," Toru said quickly.

A whistle sounded, and both girls flung themselves forward, running as fast as they could, Keidima pulling ahead by a meter. "It's just running two bases. Take first, take second. The ball's in the outfield, but I don't have time to spare. I've run this distance countless times!" With one final push, Keidima sped across the finish line, quickly followed by Toru.

"6.46 seconds! 6.91 seconds!" A cheerful robotic voice said.

Gasping for breath, Keidima skidded to a halt and turned to the invisible girl with a smile. "Not a bad time at all! You're pretty fast!"

"Whew! I wasn't at all ready to be doing this sort of thing today-!" The two girls walked to the side to clear the way for the next pair. "I should be training with you!"

"No, that'd be a terrible idea. I'd just put you to sleep."

"Aw, I'm sure you're not that boring!" She felt Toru give her a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"No, I- never mind," Keidima giggled.

-

Grip strength.

"What does this have to do with your athletic ability?" Mina asked nobody in particular.

Keidima held onto the machine as tight as possible, but to her dismay, it read '48.4 kg,' making the girl sigh in exasperation. "At some point, spite must become a factor when they make these tests."

-

Standing long jump.

"You ever done one of these, Keidima?" Denki asked, looking behind him in line. Keidima shook her head. "Ah, it's nothin' scary. Just jump!"

"Thanks. I'll try to remember that." Keidima chuckled as she watched the boy jump as far as possible at the whistle. She stepped forward as Denki got off the sand, and when she heard the whistle, she clenched her teeth and jumped.

"195 centimeters!" the peppy bot announced. She quickly got out of the way and felt a gentle elbow in her ribs, making her squeak. Keidima looked up as Eijiro smiled.

"Not a bad distance."

"Compared with everyone else here, it's not great either."

-

Repeated side steps.

Mr. Aizawa reset the stopwatch. "Go ahead, Miss Eivi."

Keidima grinned, forcing her mind to think optimistically. "This is easy. It's just back and forth but a lot and really quickly."

She ended up tripping at the end, falling onto her face.

-

The softball throw.

Keidima walked into the circle and clenched the softball hard in her hand. She leaned back, threw it with all the strength she could muster, and immediately leaned back upon hearing something in her shoulder pop. "Ouch. That sucked."

"Little under seventy meters." Mr. Aizawa sounded almost bored.

"Damn. I gotta get back into shape." Keidima continued rubbing her shoulder as she walked back to the other students. After her, the boy with the green hair stepped up.

"If Midoriya doesn't shape up soon, he's the one going home," Tenya observed.

"Huh? Of course, he is. He's a Quirkless loser." Katsuki spat. Keidima looked over at him with one eyebrow raised. "Not only is he mean, he's also wrong. There's no way a kid could get into the hero course without a quirk."

Tenya spoke up for her. "He has a Quirk. Did you not hear about what he did in the entrance exam?"

Izuku stepped forward, held the ball close, and with a face that registered pure determination, he threw the ball as hard as he could.

"Forty-six meters!" the mechanical voice spoke. The boy stood there, frozen.

"Oh no, poor guy..." Keidima mumbled.

Izuku looked at his hands. "What gives? I was trying to use it just now."

"I erased your Quirk." All eyes turned to Mr. Aizawa, whose hair was standing on end. "The judges for this exam were not rational enough. Someone like you should never be allowed to enroll at this school."

"What?" Keidima was about to step forward, but Momo gently squeezed her shoulder, holding her back. Mr. Aizawa paid her no mind.

"Ah! Those goggles. I know you!" Izuku shouted suddenly. "You can look at someone and cancel out their powers. The Erasure Hero. Eraserhead!"

Keidima looked down at the dirt. "Where have I heard that name before...? It's familiar."

Mr. Aizawa's scarf suddenly shot out, latching around Izuku and pulling him close to his teacher. He began talking with the green-headed boy in a low tone but harshly. Keidima couldn't make out what he was saying but could read Izuku's face well enough to know none was kind.

"I've returned your impractical quirk. Take your final throw. Hurry and get it over with." Mr. Aizawa's hair went down again, and his scarf released Izuku.

"I wonder if our teacher gave him some advice," Tenya said softly.

"I hope so." Keidima looked at Izuku, hoping beyond hope that the poor boy wasn't about to be sent home.

Izuku stepped into the circle and threw the ball again. Instead of the wimpy throw like last time, the boy shouted with all his might, and the ball shot away faster than a bullet, making Keidima squeak and jump into Momo.

"Mr. Aizawa... You see?" Izuku clenched his fist, showing a wholly broken finger. "I'm still standing!"

"705.3 meters!" the robot said.

"His finger appears to be broken now. Just like in the exam. This quirk is very odd." Tenya looked deep in thought.

"Maybe it transfers his body into energy? Like using up all the possible energy in his cells?" Keidima asked.

"No, even if that were the case, there shouldn't be a way he could throw a ball that far," Tenya mumbled, furrowing his brow.

Suddenly, next to them, Katsuki ran towards Izuku, screaming, "Deku, you bastard! Tell me how you did that, or you're dead!"

"He's gonna kill him-!" Keidima extended an arm, activating her quirk and focusing as hard as possible. However, Mr. Aizawa's scarf was faster and wrapped around Katsuki in a flash.

"What? Why the hell is your damn scarf so strong?" Katsuki growled.

"Because it's a capture weapon made of carbon fiber and a special metal alloy. Stand down." Mr. Aizawa glared at the boy. "Jodo said that earlier. That's where I remember the name Eraserhead from!" Keidima thought. "It'd be wise to avoid making me use my quirk so much. It gives me serious dry eye," the teacher said. Finally, he released his scarf, but Katsuki slowly sank to the ground, unconscious.

Mr. Aizawa gasped in shock before quickly looking over at Keidima in realization. Her arm was still extended, stretched stiff, and her eyes hadn't blinked or moved from Katsuki.

"Miss Eivi, please, the situation is handled. You're gonna put him in a coma."

Keidima felt a hand on her shoulder and snapped out of her haze. Turning, she saw Mina's nod and slowly lowered her arm, rubbing her eyes and groaning.

"So that's her quirk. I was wondering..." someone off to her right said softly. Mr. Aizawa walked forward and carried the explosive boy back to the group.

"Ribbet, is he dead-?" someone else murmured.

"H-he'll be fine. He's just taking a power nap-!" Keidima stammered, reassuring her classmates. "We all need to take a little rest sometimes." She giggled softly behind her hand, and some of the other students chuckled along with her.

Katsuki let out a little groan as someone nudged him awake. "What-?"

Mr. Aizawa mumbled something to him, and he nodded, rubbing his head. A twinge of fear went through Keidima as she realized he wouldn't be pleased with her for humiliating him in front of his classmates. Then, the teacher stood up and walked to his observation area again.

"You're wasting my time now. Whoever's next can step up."

Izuku ran back into the crowd, and for some reason, Katsuki seemed focused on him and not Keidima. "I wonder why he doesn't seem angry at me? He doesn't seem like the put-together type."

"That's a pretty powerful quirk," Tenya said, looking impressed.

Keidima looked at him but yawned. "No, not yet, it isn't. Lotta drawbacks."

-

Mr. Aizawa looked at his tablet. "All right, time to give you your results. I've ranked you all from best to worst. You should probably have a good idea of your standing already. I'll pull up the whole list. It's not worth going over each individual's score."

Mina squeezed Keidima's hand gently as they looked at the screen, simultaneously comforting her nerves and keeping her awake. Using her quirk on Katsuki had drained her a lot, and it was all she could do to stay awake for the final three tests. If it weren't for Mina slapping her calves during the sit-up test, she would have passed out. "Isn't my fault it's a good sleeping position."

"Keidima! Look, you got 11th!" Mina shook her, and Keidima jumped up and down in delight.

"Woo! Average!" She hugged her friend tightly and looked back up at the board. "You got ninth!"

"You definitely would have beaten me if you hadn't used your quirk earlier."

"I couldn't help it. My body acted before my brain did."

"And I bet your body was pretty upset with itself after that long-distance run!"

Keidima groaned. "Oh, goodness, don't even talk to me about that." She had thrown up.

Mina pointed back up at the board. "Look, Izuku's last."

Sure enough, in 20th place was Izuku Midoriya. "Oh no, poor kid... He was so determined to do well." Keidima looked at the boy, who seemed to be looking at the ground, close to tears. She wanted to scoop him up in a hug but decided against it.

"And I was lying, no one's going home. That was a rational deception to ensure you gave it your all in the tests."

The whole class gasped, and if Keidima weren't also shocked into disbelief, she would have laughed at their silly expressions.

"That's it. We're done for the day. Pick up a syllabus in the classroom. Read it over before tomorrow morning." Mr. Aizawa walked to Izuku and handed him a slip, saying something to him in a low tone.

Keidima jogged forward and tapped Mr. Aizawa on the shoulder as he walked off. "Sir?"

"Hm? What is it?"

"I'm sorry for using my quirk earlier. It wasn't polite of me to do. I should have trusted you."

"Don't worry about it. I told Mr. Bakugo that he had pinched a nerve struggling against my capturing weapon and passed out. He doesn't expect that you did anything."

"Oh, thank goodness. I was worried I would get my head blown off," Keidima chuckled nervously.

"No, you'll be fine. Just be sure not to use it if you can afford to. It has a pretty big drawback."

"Yeah, I know. Thank you, sir." Keidima looked at the ground, rubbing her arm.

"Oh, and I saw you had asked for a capturing weapon on your hero form. I could teach you how to use it."

Keidima gasped softly as she looked up. "Yes, that'd be amazing!"

Mr. Aizawa grunted, nodded, and walked off.

The young girl turned, seeing Izuku coming toward her. "H-hey, Keidima, right?"

"Mhm! That's me!" she giggled, making Izuku blush. "Oh, he's gonna be so much fun."

The boy rubbed the back of his neck. "I-I just wanted to thank you for, y'know, saving me earlier!"

"Huh? Oh, I didn't save you. Mr. Aizawa did. I just helped." Keidima smiled softly. "But I'm glad I could help."

Izuku blushed deeper at her smile and nodded.

"By the way, I'm relieved you're not being expelled! I was rooting for you the whole time! I'm a sucker for underdogs," she giggled again, making it a personal competition to see how deep the boy's blush could go.

"T-Thank you! Anyways, I gotta go to the nurse now. Bye!" he said quickly, avoiding her eyes as he walked past.

"Izuku!" she called after him, and he turned momentarily. "You're not getting enough sleep!" He chuckled and turned again, walking off.

-

Keidima went with the rest of the class back to the classroom to change and collect their syllabus. She sighed as she changed out of her gym uniform, hoping that her hero costume, at least, would be the correct size.

She grabbed a syllabus and stuck it in her bag, then began walking out the door if it weren't for a tap on the shoulder. Tenya pulled her aside and bowed stiffly. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior this morning. You have more than proved your worth and did not deserve to be treated so harshly."

"I- thank you, Tenya." Keidima smiled at the kind gesture and gently lifted him out of his bow. "It means a lot."

"Of course. Hopefully, we can be on a good footing from here on out."

"I hope so, too! I'll see you, Tenya!"

-

Walking out the main doors and down the steps, Keidima grinned as she approached a familiar duo. Mina and Eijiro turned and waved at her as she approached. "We live in about the same part of town. Why don't we walk home together?"

"I don't see why not!"

"Wait!" She turned and saw Denki running up to them. "Don't forget me!"

"We couldn't forget you, bro! C'mon, let's get home."

The four walked home, proud that they had finished their first day with relatively no problems, although Mina had to keep Keidima awake the whole way home. Still, Keidima was glad to have reconnected with old friends and even made some new ones.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there you have it! Chapter 2, done! Lemme know what you think!

Also wowie I wrote so much more for these 1.5 episodes than the first four. Maybe that's because most of the first episodes were focusing on Izuku. No clue. Anyways, there's no way in hell I'll be able to keep this pace up, especially with me going back to school soon, so expect much spottier uploads.

Lemme read Chapter 1! Lemme read Chapter 3! Lemme start at the beginning!

[scales-n-art]

What advice do you have for someone hoping to start making money with art? I'm new to everything so building an audience and engaging with them feels like me shooting in the dark, let alone getting them to request commissions or join a Patreon!

Hi there!

I think you have the biggest part of it already figured out tbh. If you're aiming for it to be a side hustle kind of thing, then building an audience is definitely one of the best ways to go about it if you wanna stick to online. The way it's been for me, it's all been through fandoms and niche art. I drew a ton of fanart for Shadowhunters back in 2017, but it wasn't until I got into making fanart for Attack on Titan (mostly merfolk AU stuff) in 2018 that I really became more "visible" as an artist. Back in 2017 I had some commissioners, but from 2018 onwards is how I truly became a full time artist.

There's people who have the fortune of making it big with their own original art from the very beginning, and that's wonderful. But it's not something I can give you advice on, because I haven't figured that out myself, and it's not how I got here either. I know it's possible, however, so that's definitely always an option too.

As frustrating as it is, I think there's no real way around it. You need an audience who's interested in what you have to share, and a lot of it can become making art that caters to what your audience is interested in. So be very careful with how you go about it. I'd say just draw what YOU like, what YOU want to see. Most likely, there are others out there who want to see the same thing too. Algorithms online make it harder for people to find you, and it's very tiresome to adapt to them, but there's no way around it except keep pushing, keep trying, follow other artists, make friends with them. Comment on art, share art, join discord servers, talk with people. Interaction will take you a long way in this circle!

If you're not afraid of taking your art outside of the online market, there's always conventions, exhibitions and bazaars/markets in most cities, where you can take prints, stickers and other merch with your creations. They also work wonderfully as contact makers. You'll get to meet other artists in your area, and they can help spread word about your work, and you can do the same for them, aside from directly putting your work literally out there for people to see.

If you want advice on how to become a professional artist, getting studio jobs and such, I'm definitely not the right person to ask. I have no experience on that other than applying and getting rejected or "saved for later". Not that I've tried much tbh, I've been ok enough with freelance work.

I've worked mostly on commissions for individuals who just want a specific piece of their favorite character, and I've also worked on commissions for self publishing authors and one major awarded, published author in my country as well. All of it, just because I started an askblog about Merman!Levi when I was bored, depressed, and going through Big Shit irl. So an art journey can have many crazy looks.

I'm not sure how helpful this will be, because I'm honestly not the best example of How To become An Artist. I've had so many ups and downs, currently going through a major down. And the only thing consistent about my journey, is that I haven't given up. So I guess that has to mean something, as cheesy as it may sound.

I wish you the best on the journey though ❤️

[astriiformes]

Have you ever cosplayed or thought about cosplaying anything from Doctor Who? I've been thinking about a classic Cyberman costume for a hot minute now.

Oh this question amused me because I actually got my start cosplaying with Doctor Who (evidence of which can be found far, far back in the archives of my blog and in the memory of my oldest followers/mutuals)

For Halloween my junior year of high school, I dressed up as the Tenth Doctor (which was somewhat ironic, considering by the time I actually wore the costume my opinion had already begun to shift on not liking Ten all that much, but I'd started putting the costume together from thrift store finds over the summer when I had just gotten into the show and didn't realize there were other eras I liked a lot more!)

The year after that, my sisters and I all dressed up as different Doctors for Denver Comic Con, which I consider my first real "cosplay" seeing as it was the first time I wore a costume to a convention. I dressed up as Eight (who was I was a tiny bit obsessed with at the time) and I also put together my youngest sister's Fifth Doctor costume -- which was especially fun, because people were delighted to see someone her age dressed up as a Classic Doctor, and she got to show it off to Peter Davison himself who clearly thought she was adorable.

Here's some photos from deep in the Nate Archives:

And for an extra fun set here's pictures of both my little sister and I with Sylvester McCoy at the convention:

Not the best photo quality because these were both nabbed on my very old iPod touch, I'm pretty sure. The second one is one of my favorite pictures ever though, not just because it's cute (although it super is) but because it's why I always tell people Sylvester McCoy is an incredibly lovely human in person.

This was back in 2014, before DCC was quite as big and polished, so instead of expensive celebrity photo ops these were like $20 "selfies" the con still offered (hence being taken on my iPod). My middle sister and I both decided to go for pictures with him, but my littlest sister -- who was only 9 at the time -- had already spent the money she'd saved up for the convention getting an autograph from Peter Davison. So the two of us did our pictures, and then he took one look at her, a tiny child dressed as one of the Classic Doctors and clearly looking at him in awe from afar (Five was her favorite doctor at the time, but she also really loved Ace, so she knew Seven when she saw him!) and told her to come on over for her picture, too.

I immediately went to explain she didn't have the money for a photo and he just as immediately put a hand up, looked meaningfully at his handler, and proclaimed "No, no, I'll be taking this one with my friend."

It was thoughtful and adorable and you can bet when we got home that day my sister was gushing about it to our parents, saying "Seven says I'm his friend!" (Which again, she loved Ace, so that was high praise!). Still one of the kindest celebrity encounters I've ever had, and I have such fond memories of all those costumes as a result. I think it's really neat that one of the first cosplays I ever made ended up being a part of something so special.

[mt-gr8]

Hi everyone! Time for the bi-annual M.T. update where I just throw everything into the void and let people react as needed. I had meant to do this in January but forgot (which there now IS an explanation for that I'll sum up later)

This year so far hasn't been bad despite losing my Grandma in January. I've grown really close to my Idol Group (Indy Idols go check them out on TikTok, Insta, YouTube, they're chaotic I love them) and it's been good to have more friends and make more connections.

I got to travel to DC twice this year and I'll be heading to eastern PA for a mini vacation at a convention. I'm trying to expand where I go but I have to save for right now so after September I'll be done with cons for the year.

I won a Best Masters award for craftsmanship! I revamped a cosplay of mine and won and I was so so proud! She's my baby. I'll throw A pic in at the end of her.

Speaking of saving.... I have to unfortunately save all my money to cover bills for November and December.... I won't be working because I will be getting top surgery!!! My surgery date is November 13th and I'm so excited and also extremely nervous as surgery scares me. I'm doing a combination of a hysterectomy and top surgery so I just have one surgery and I'm done with the physical aspect of my transition! I'll be on T for the rest of my life but in the past few months nothing has really changed so I think I'm kinda where Im gonna be and that's fine with me.

On the mental health side, they figured out that I do not have Major Depressive Disorder, I have Borderline personality disorder. Which makes perfect sense as to why I do what I do. Now we're treating it and learning coping mechanisms so we're getting better! I have a great therapist that has been helping a lot

I also have been diagnosed with ADHD. Which is ALSO not a surprise. I started having a lot of issues that we found might be related to it and I decided to get tested. Further testing confirmed that I do have it, surprising no one.

Health wise, I'm also doing better! In May I contracted COVID which sucked ass and I'm still dealing with fatigue but I've lost like 20 pounds and working to lose some more. My goal is pre COVID weight than hopefully my high school weight. I've started building a habit to go to the gym and getting over my gym anxiety.

I still have Sonia, my little kitty baby, shes my bestie. My little brother is still my best buddy and I've been very close with the family I have (my mom is touch and go, we talk but not a lot). Overall I'm doing great and I'm very thankful for this year turning up despite it's very shitty beginning. Ty for reading if you do

My baby of a cosplay as thanks for reading my post smooches

[reformedspendaholic]

Well this is my first post. I'm an ex spendaholic with a lot of stuff and a desire to change. So I've embraced the frugal life. Well kind of. I've embraced the live well for loads less life. Partly because I want to and partly because the cost of living is kicking me in the rear.

It's late Sunday afternoon and I'm sat in my bedroom after having a hot bath. It's my main luxury really. I try to have my bath when the electric rate is high so I don't watch TV or use a computer. The water is gas heated which costs loads less. Shame everything else is electric 😕

I've treated myself to some Aldi fruit cider. It's loads cheaper than the branded stuff and tastes better to be honest. Nicer flavours and they do seasonal ones. I've got the peach, mango, and lime one.

Thanks to my historical spending days I have plenty of beauty products stockpiled. So I've put on anti aging serum and some night cream. I'm also going to use some nice body cream too.

We've eaten dinner early. Had a chicken done in the Ninja Foodie, with mini baked potatoes and salad. Need to work out what to do with the leftovers. Someone suggested a hash type meal. Could work I guess.

I've also been to a convention. It was pretty cheap and we didn't buy much there. Just a couple of gifts for my son. Early birthday presents really.

Here are my money saving plans for next week

Get up to date with the laundry and dry on the indoor rack or line

No takeout whatsoever. Even if I'm shattered

Make all leftovers into either human or dog food

Make my own sweet treats using what we have in the pantry

Use high electricity rate times to have a bath, read a book, or do some tidying up

No shopping, I have enough

Get last year's uniforms checked to see if the boys need anything new

Research prices on timer plugs

Get my sons card and wrap his gifts 🎁

Swap out my evening glass of wine for a decaf tea or coffee ☕️

Start my daily epilating to cut out razor blade expenses

[the-everyday-nigeria]

Attaining My Financial Goals in 2023

As 2022 comes to an end and I've looked at my savings, I realized one thing I could have done better. Granted that I got into the personal finance space in the last four months of the year, here are some tip that I plan to use in 2023 to help me attain my goals with ease and in record time!

Prepare an actual budget: This is one of the things I need to really get done because I don't think I've ever really budgeted before. I've tried and failed because I rarely ever stick to it but come 2023, the plan is to first find out how much I spend and what I spend on and from there work out the things I need to cut out or the things I need to add depending on the situation.

Make attainable goals: This really a big deal for me as most finance hack videos or articles talk about saving $10,000 but for someone like me who is from a very corrupt country where the minimum wage is #30,000 (approx. $66.66) saving $10,000 (approx. #4,500,000) is not really a feasible goal with an income of #186,000 (approx. $413.33) monthly. So I think starting with $1,000 (approx. #450,000) in savings is a better goal to with, and hopefully this saving helps grow my income and help me attain greater goals.

Write down said goals: Another thing I need to do is write down my financial goals on a monthly, quarterly and yearly basis and tick them off as I achieve them. I believe doing this will make the goals look a lot less overwhelming. For instance in my casa I want to save #450,000 and this is a whole lot of money to people from my country but if I divide that money by 4, it means every quarter I should have #112,500, dividing that by 3 means I should save #37,500 on a monthly basis to achieve my goal. Looking a this I could easily say I want to save #40,000 instead and following the calculations will lead me to #480,000 (approx. $1066.66) which is $66.66 higher than my proposed goal!

Make use of high interest savings account and investment platforms: This is could be the biggest tool I plan to use in achieving my financial goals. As with platforms like these, I can enable instant savings withdrawal on pay day, get massive saving interest rate that can be compounded monthly, limit access to savings, get bonuses for saving monthly among other things. The actual platform I am going to be using called piggyvest because of the fact that it contains all these packages in one simple app. I also plan to limit my usage of conventional bank accounts and stick to these upcoming online banks and micro finance banks that don't charge most of exorbitant fees that conventional banks charge and they also give good interest rates of up to 2% as compared to the 0.001% given by conventional banks!

Reward myself as I achieve my goals: With this I hope to give myself positive reinforcement for achieving my goal. As this is not usually in my character this could possibly be the hardest thing on this list. Growing up in a home and a country where most achievements are taken for granted; I hope to break the norm, reward myself for goal accomplished and continue to push myself towards greater heights!

Honorable mentioned

Increasing my income: While I don't have a definite plan for this I'm looking into building rental property as it is quite easy to buy a land and build houses in my country. If you have any suggestions as to how I can increase my income While working a 9-5 job please feel free to comment down below.

Well then these are the things I plan to use as stepping stones in my way to financial freedom, I will also be sharing my progress in hopex that it motivates others to do same. Hope you join me on my journey and it spurs you to do same or spurs you to do better if you are already on your way! Stay Blessed!

[zeon-twilight]

Back to the Drawing board

Well, it was fun while it lasted. I had a good run with the company I worked conventions for and enjoyed it quite a lot till I made a big mistake on my second sale (Hit the new "Cash" button on the credit card payment app, and thought I'd run a card because why the fuck does a credit card payment system even HAVE a fucking "Cash" button when it hasn't the last couple times I've worked for them.) and so I got fired. It's a fuckin' shame, I really liked working for them, and while the mistake is on me. So, yet another big screw-up that was beyond my ability to fix, no matter how badly I wanted to. I'm getting pretty sick of this recurring theme in my life to be honest. So, now instead of making money in probably my favorite way I've found so far, and enjoying watching all the fun people in costume go by, I'm just...at home. Writing on Tumblr, occasionally tearing up before growling and doing another chore or something to feel less worthless. On the bright side, I saved a frog from our cats last night and put it outside safe and sound. How did it get into the apartment? No idea. But if I hadn't been here, who knows where it would've ended up?

I need to figure out how to screw up less and fuckin' make something of myself. Tired of gig work, tired of hustle, tired of having insufficient funds to feel safe in life or like I can get mental or physical health attention.

Yet it seems like all those struggles are simply unavoidable. Life piles the shit on, and while you're desperately trying to struggle out of it, it just keeps burying you in it. I dunno if this is systemic, or a me problem, maybe a little bit of both. I just know it's getting harder and harder to have hope in the future every time I get kicked in the chest trying to pick myself up off the ground. Just keep at it, I guess, Who/what/when/where-ever you are,

ZT

[das-ende-des-anfangs]

🐝🌸🍰🍪🎄❄️🍓🔪

🐝: 🖤💀🦊🆒👑👢👗 (This one was hard 😅. I bounce between aesthetics a lot)

🌸: This is a tough one; no partners have ever really gotten me flowers (hint hint 😉😉) for me to have a favorite, like, cultivated flower. Idk if this is cheating because it's a blooming tree/shrub rather than strictly a flower, but I'd have to say mountain laurel. I was a Boy Scout growing up, and my dad was always involved in my troop (he was even our Scoutmaster for a couple years), so I have a lot of fond memories of going backpacking with him and my Scout friends. There are a lot of mountain laurels along the Appalachian Trail in Maryland and Virgina where we did most of our backpacking, and catching the mountain laurels during the narrow window when they were in bloom was always such a special treat.

🍰: This is a tough one. I love both, but I'd have to say vanilla, because I have to be in the right mood to go for something strawberry, whereas I feel like I can always go for vanilla.

🍪: Cookies, easily. Cookie dough is nice, but it's only ever one texture, whereas cookies can have a wide variety of textures depending on how they're prepared.

🎄: I'd have to say Thanksgiving, because I love food and cooking and it is, like THE food holiday. I've been wanting to host my own Thanksgiving for a while now that I finally have a place to do it in. Might try to make something like that happen this year, we'll see 😉.

❄️: A few years ago I would've said spring, but now I'd have to say summer, mostly just because now I actually love my body and enjoy showing it off by wearing very little clothing 😜. The estrogen also helped with this just in terms of temperature tolerance. I used to overheat really easily, and I loved the cold for that reason, but now it's the exact opposite, and I feel like I freeze constantly now. That all being said, I think all the seasons have unique upsides and downsides, and I love them all in their own unique ways.

🍓: Ooooh, a secret 😏. I'm having trouble thinking of one right now, because I tend to be a pretty open book. There aren't a lot of things about me that I'd consider a secret because I'm generally willing to share pretty much everything about myself if I really trust someone. Ooooh, I just thought of one, but I'll have to DM it to you because I actually could get in real trouble for posting this one publicly 😅.

🔪: Probably the first time I got catcalled/sexually harassed on the street; I'll always remember it clear as day. It was on the Sunday of Otakon 2022, and I was walking back to the subway station from the convention center in the mid-afternoon. I was with Aria (my current nesting partner) at the time; this was in our first year of dating, back when she still lived in Arlington, VA, like 3 blocks from a Metro station. I was a little over a year on HRT at this point, so I definitely could pass, but I wasn't really used to being perceived as female by strangers. We were walking through Chinatown on the way to the Gallery Place Metro station, through a kind of run-down stretch of 14th street. I was wearing a black strappy top and a red and black plaid skater-style skirt with these red plaid stompy combat boots, so I was looking pretty hot, all things considered. This was also when Aria was pre-everything, so she was presenting male at the time (which I thank the gods for every day, because it may have saved my life).

As for what actually happened. I hear a voice coming from my left, and there's a Black homeless guy (unfortunately his race is relevant to what happens later) on the side of the sidewalk under the overhang of the building asking me for money. I normally like to give cash to homeless people when I can, so I went to go into my purse for my wallet, but I realized that I had spent the last of my cash on merch at the con. Realizing that I wouldn't be able to give the guy anything, I pulled my purse back in towards me (because I was no longer feeling around inside it) and sort of stammered out "Sorry, I don't have any cash" in as feminine a voice as I could muster, because I knew that I did NOT want to get clocked in this moment.

Unfortunately, he perceived that motion as me clutching my purse out of some sort of racialized fear, which I totally understand in the abstract. Truth be told, I was afraid. Not because he was black, but rather because he was male, and I was deathly afraid of getting clocked and thus potentially hate-crimed in broad daylight. He (again, understandably) becomes visibly upset at the thought that I was responding to him in a racist way, so he starts yelling stuff like, "Oh, this b*tch is scared, huh? You scared, b*tch?" All I could think to do was keep quiet, keep my head down, and keep walking, because nothing remotely like this had ever happened to me before, and I had no idea what to do in this situation. However, it seemed like being ignored only set him off more, because he starting actively hurling insults at me, like "Ay, f*ck you, you cr*cker-*ss b*tch," "F*ck this racist b*tch," etc. I was now incredibly afraid, but we kept walking, and as we were about to cross the street onto the next block, I hear his parting shot: "I bet you like black d*ck though," and the added sexual component of the harassment just freaked me out even more.

Thankfully he wasn't angry enough to follow us into the next block (which probably had a lot to do with me having someone with me who he perceived as a "man"), and as soon as I realized I was (at least physically) safe, a flood of emotions came over me. Obviously there was an element of trauma there, because I had never been berated on the street like that in any context, much less a sexual one, and I was truly afraid that I might have been physically harmed during that interaction. I was on an adrenaline high afterwards that lasted the entire rest of the day. There was also a feeling of intense validation (shout-out to gender-affirming misogyny), because for possibly the first time in my life there was no doubt in my mind that I fully passed in that moment and was viewed no differently than this man would view a cis woman. I initially felt a lot of shame for feeling this way, but I've come to terms with it since then.

Thankfully, I went back home to my parents' place (this was when I still lived with them), and I was able to talk it over with my mom, which really helped me process all of the complex emotions. Episodes of street harassment for me have thankfully been few and far between since then, and the trauma from that event has been fully processed and integrated into my new worldview. It was definitely an awakening for me that forced me to acknowledge one of the unfortunate costs of living as my true self, so in a way, I'm grateful that it happened, because it taught me a lot about myself and what it means to be perceived as a woman in our society.

[meditating-dog-lover]

Healthy

Growing up I have not prioritized my health as much as I should have.

It wasn't until a few years ago when I started to sleep better, drink more water, go to therapy, take supplements (the ones I need and dr said were fine), eat healthier/less junk/sugar, improve my immunity, walking, nasal breathing, intermittent fasting, and getting comprehensive routine bloodwork done and being up to date with medical/dental exams. I've done a lot to improve my health that it got to a point where I'm a bit obsessed with maintaining my health, because it makes me feel fulfilled and in control, since I'm doing something productive that is good for me. Also it's such a confidence booster to be healthy.

Then it comes to my eczema, which has unfortunately been a more challenging issue to address. Despite all the above, I do struggle with stress/anxiety, some insulin resistance, and moderate/severe eczema. I know my eczema is likely caused by gut imbalances, because my lab results showed I have the same bad bacteria colonizing both my skin and gut. And I've never thoroughly addressed my gut health in the past (it can be tricky because everyone's gut is different, there are a ton of foods and supplement that promote gut health and it can be hard to identify what's right for you, most doctors don't really talk about it as it's not something commonly taught in medical schools, and there's a lot of gimmicky unscientific stuff out there).

Unfortunately, I've been told the same things by doctors: "There's no cure, the only things that can help you are steroids, protopic, and biologics/Dupixent". I know it's a chronic and complicated condition and I don't need to be constantly fucking reminded that there's no cure. Why should I, someone who is rather healthy, have to spend the rest of my life using steroids and and self-injecting biologics? I don't get it. I worked so hard on improving my health, yet I struggle with this inflammatory disease and doctors tell me there's no solution besides relying on risky drugs. Why should I have to? It goes to show how the medical system is unfortunately designed to get people to rely on pharmaceuticals rather than to genuinely get them to take action and care for their own health. Unfortunately, there is some logic and reason to this approach as people are less inclined to be proactive in their own health. And I don't blame them because it takes time, effort, and money to take deeper care of their well-being.

As a scientist I have to always remind people that conventional medicine is important, significant and has saved a lot of people from unnecessary illness and death. I mean I work in the field myself and have dealt with personal medical emergencies in the past. When I express my disappointment in the medical industry, I'm talking moreso about the lack of approach to lifestyle and preventative medicine, not lifesaving medication and procedures like antibiotics, vaccines, antihistamines, aseptic surgical techniques, bloodwork/labwork/xrays, and emergency medicine like CPR, stopping blood loss, and defibrillators, etc... I can see both the good and bad in the industry I work in.

[obvslybatgrl]

COMIC HAUL !!!!!

Yipeeeee!! Okay so these are from several trips to my comic shop, cons, and shops outside my city. Gonna list where I got everything at the end so if y'all are in Canada 👀. But actually fr support local business!

Ignore my taking photos of them on the carpet floor, my desk is covered with shelves and stuff that needs to be put up still 😭

Anyways

First of all here are most of the comics I picked up at my local comic shop since April. Was really happy to get a hold of all those variants but damn bro Pride month took all my money jahshshshz. I got all these at The Comic Book Shoppe in Ottawa, both locations. I'm probably gonna be pulling comics with them as long as I live here, their staff are definitely the most friendly I've experienced with any comic vendor.

I was in St. John's and was staying right next to the comic book store, it was so hard not to spend all my time there lol. Not pictured above but I also got Paper Girls vol. 1 just forgot to take it off my shelf for the photo 🤡. And Bylines in Blood #2 and 3 are also in the same bag as 1, I'm just waiting to get bag and boards before opening them up. If you guys are ever in Newfoundland, check out Downtown Comics! The building was bought by a new landlord recently so I don't know how that's going to affect the store, but I really hope they're able to renew their lease because that's the only one in the downtown area and it's been there since the 90s.

These are got from several different vendors at Ottawa FanaticCon. Got free admission as a volunteer 😎. As you can tell by now I'm only really looking for Cass, Tim, and Steph 💛💚💜. If you live in the Ottawa area, I 100% recommended heading to this convention if you're a collector. Most of the vendors do not have brick and mortar shops so you'll save of those horrible Canadian shipping fees, and they have a cosplay contest with a cash prize. However I don't recommend heading to this con if it's super out of your way. It is just a local convention so it's a small venue that fit maybe 50 vendors max (?). You're able to go through the entire thing in a few hours. I had fun though. Met an independent comic writer/artist from Montreal, obviously grabbed a lot of good books (that's the second printing of A Death in the Family TP btw. I thought that was cool) and some Pokémon.

TORONTO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Ugh I miss it already, I just came home last night. 7 of those issues I bought off Kijiji, the Robin I found at the CNE, and the Batwoman TP is from The Beguiling but everything else is from the best bookstores in Toronto, BMV Books. Everything in there is gently used or discounted new books (got that LOK art book for 20$! It's usually 50$+ retail here). Was really happy to find so much off my wishlist, AND BTW GOT BATGIRLS #8 VARIANT FOR 2$??!! FOUND CASS BATGIRL RUN TP??!! Love that store so much. If y'all are in Toronto check out all of BMV's locations but specifically the one between Bathurst and Spadina. Third floor is just thousands of comic issues. Most of their stuff is SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper than buying retail and in great condition.

I've spent so much money 🤡

[eulaliasims]

Chiana: Hi, Mom.

Clara: Hey, kiddo. You want some coffee?

Chiana: Sure. Um, is this a good time to talk? Is Dad around?

Clara: Uh-oh. He's at work, but—

Chiana: It's nothing bad! Just, I think if I ask him, he'll find someway to start talking about his new pie recipe instead, and then I'll just end up leaving with half a pie. And I'd like some pie, but that's not really why I came.

Clara: Good, 'cause we don't actually have any pie right now.

Chiana: Aw.

(Discussion below of reproductive choices, and government-controlled fertility in the context of an alien society. I wrote & shot this like 8 months ago, but in light of Roe v. Wade being overturned, I wanted to add a small warning in case anyone would prefer to skip that kind of thing.)

Chiana: Theo and I were talking about children. And I just wanted to, um, explore all our options.

Clara: I see! And I'm guessing you want to know more about the "Sixam Empire and SimNation Cross-Species Genetic Analysis and Allocation Agreement".

Chiana: Is that the real name? Holy crap, no wonder no one calls it that.

Clara: It's space, kiddo; if something isn't long enough to require an acronym, it doesn't legally exist. Well, I see why you asked me and not your dad.

Chiana: He doesn't really seem to like talking about, well, home.

Clara: He's become a bit disillusioned with the way Sixam does certain things, yes. He told me once he's not sure they should be trying so hard to save the Empire after everything, but I'm not sure if he still feels that way. Of course, he's got four healthy children, which is almost certainly four more than any of his crèche-mates, and the five grandkids. You know, I've always thought you probably have some half-siblings running around somewhere.

Chiana: What?

Clara: When you become an adult in the Sixam, the government gets a DNA sample and a gamete sample. They... I don't want to say own you. But everything you do is supposed to be for Sixam. That includes your fertility, or lack thereof.

Chiana: Mom! Why didn't you ever tell us this? What if we've, like, got siblings in the next town or something? What if I was dating another alien?!

Clara: I mean, the only one of you who ever had to worry about that is Gaila, and Mikhael is definitely not a relative. Your husband doesn't even have DNA, kiddo, let alone alien DNA. Anyway, I think if you do they're probably on a spaceship somewhere, not here on Earth. Chances are Sixam threw out any samples after Three left. Disobedience isn't really the kind of trait they want to cultivate, you know?

Chiana: This is so not how I was expecting this conversation to go.

Clara: I've gotten off-topic, huh? Sorry. Look, if you wanted to sign up, it'd depend on the technician currently in charge whether they're accepting half-aliens. Some of them think it defeats the point of the experiments, or that's what I've heard. If they say yes, you beam up, they do a genetic analysis, do the thing, you pop back.

Chiana: Not entirely sure I want to give them any DNA now, thanks.

Clara: Any particular reason to choose this over more conventional methods? If it's money—

Chiana: It's not. Just, they're my people too. Even if I apparently don't know as much about them as I thought.

Clara: Well, like you said, it's not Three's favorite subject. I'm sure Syx would talk your ear off if you ask, but half of it's gonna be lies, so fair warning.

Chiana: Everything Uncle Syx says is half lies, Mom.

Chiana: That's a... lot to think about. I always wondered, if Sixam wants hybrids, why not just invite sims to join the colony? I mean. It, uh, worked for you and Dad.

Clara: The exchange program was supposed to be a sort of trial run for something like that.

Chiana: Oh, I see. Sixam doesn't want more rambunctious grad students luring away their scientists.

Clara: I'm sure that's not the only reason.

[antonballdeluxe]

The Eternal September's Late-Stages From A Disabled Woman's Viewpoint

But then again, was there anywhere for me to go in the first place, being, well...

While I try to stray away from mentioning it on other pages of my site, it does occasionally come up -- I am considered disabled. Not physically, mind you, this will not cover that. I have multiple mental disorders sprawling over both the sides of what one would call neurodivergancy, and the side of what is mental illness. It sucks, but I'd rather not host a pity party here over it. Neurodivergancy is a new and funny word, coming mostly from, well, the internet. There are a lot of disabled people on the internet, and if you asked me, I'd say that disabled people also are major creators on the internet, and it makes sense. For us, it's an easier way to communicate to keep it online and simple.

Or at least, it used to be. Within the last two years or so, the pandemic forcing more normal people to be online as much as we are for school and work, they've been able to explore the internet more than ever before. Niche websites no longer niche, and subcultures growing more popular as people find them. I guess this isn't neccessarily a bad thing, but I digress. Normies keep things alive and able to have money made off of them, but they also tend to dilute the subculture into being more acceptable to parade around in public. This includes places directly for disabled people (...like me) to be able to talk comfortably about the issues we have with our lives and what cards we've been dealt.

Before writing this, at a wit's end, I decided to look for one of those places on DISBOARD, which is basically just an advertising place for Discord servers. What I found was dissapointing, to say the least, and speaks more of a wider problem. A lot of the servers were for teenagers and younger, which is concerning giving how teenagers are with sharing their personal information online, and alienating because I usually don't like being around, say, anyone under the age of 15. Scrolling further -- a lot of these servers are obviously too friendly towards too obvious malingerers. Disorder fakers. This has grown expotentially since the pandemic started, and I'd say that if there was no pandemic, faking of a certain romanticizable disorder would've either stayed or died on fucking Tumblr. Now, there's entire conventions, communities, merchandise, for something actual doctors debate over if it's even real or not. A lot of the servers I saw for the disabled explicitly were aiming for this group of disorder fakers, it seemed, acting friendly, giving accomodations.

And maybe this is just me, but they all seemed too well held together. As if there was already a social line for the communinities and if I stepped out of that line, may Heaven grab my hands to save me from a screaming Hell. Every server I saw had to immedietly outline that if you didn't fit in the owner's personal Disability Discourse Opinion Box, go elsewhere. I am not good at staying within those lines, because my neurodiversity directly affects how I attend a social situation. I am often out of that line in general, hence how I ended up here in the first place. A normal person does not get this involved in small web communities, and if that bursts a bubble, I'm so sorry.

Oddly enough number two -- I found my best bet for disability support was to look the opposite way from those places aimed at it -- I've been able to find home recently in the official server for a game I've recently fallen in love with. Making a shrine-page for the game soon, of course! It's what I do. But everyone there kinda...got it. I wasn't good at being social, and it was ok, a silent approval of that. I feel welcome, loved by most, like I can actually talk and not worry about making people mad just by existing. Thank you, and if you are from that place, thank you even more.

Now, where does this tie into the idea of the Eternal September, where the people just living life on earth gain access to where only hobbyists have been? Because the entire internet seems like it's headed this way, since, well, after the pandemic started again. Remember the "Alternative" boom of Summer 2020, where teenage girls and alike suddenly wore all black and partied like it was 2006? Direct result of that. And it's only gotten worse for the underground communities I've been in since, including some breakcore artists, mobile games, looking at pretty things, and more. It's not just the youth, but the normie adults seem to be worse at blending in with the rest of the underground, which is...again, outcasts, more, and, bluntly, the disabled that spend a lot of time online because going outside is haaaard. Yeah, I know touching grass isn't that hard, and I've been doing that more and more often since this boom in subculture popularities has occured. Doing my art, my writing (like this one!), exercise, more. Getting into stuff I haven't cared about in years.

I'd also like to mention that this is why you just can't seem to ever escape politics online anymore. You used to, but you can't now, because the radicalized have spread, and so have the normies, the shitlibs, the 40 year old Facebook dads with their...y'know what I'm not going further into this point just know I'm right on it.

This has further isolated my disabled ass more than I was isolated when I was actively bullied for it in public schooling, where I went to the internet to just...hang out, be with people as weird as I am. But now people are socially ok and in these places and they make more rules and whatnot, and I always end up fucking things up for myself in those places. Flopping on the floor like a fish in my head right now, because that's all I can really do about it. I am just a fish in the ocean, and surfing the world wide web just isn't that fun anymore. And as fish do, it's a fight with other fish to survive. I guess I'm surviving ok so far. But I'm still a fish. Why am I a fish? Fish.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A: A fsh.

[bodyswapmischief]

Jiggalo In Trouble

Well, I don't fucking know what to do. You see ... this isn't my body. This morning I was a hairy, obese, 50 year old man. Not, this muscled, latino, bad boy you see now.

You could say my life was pathetically tragic. I grew up in a time and place where I couldn't be myself. I was gay but, stayed deep in the closet. I even forced myself to marry a woman and have 3 beautiful children. I had a decent life and most days I was happy. But, I always knew I was lying to the ones I love. Yet, I knew the truth could never come out. I had to live the rest of my life playing a straight man.

But, there was always one thing on my bucket list. I wanted to have a sex with a man. Just once, and I could die happy. I tried many times, with gay dating apps, but I always chickened out at the last minute.

But, then the opportunity showed itself. I was selected by my boss to go to Las Vegas, for a work related convention. I would be the repsentive for this branch at some booths, panels, and meetings that were going to happen.

It didn't seem to stressful. Working for the company for so long, I knew I would be able to handle it. But, what I was really excited for was the possibilites. "Whatever happens in Vegas; stays in Vegas."

So, I get there and I work at the convention. It was okay. I met some cool people. I networked. But, the long days always left me tired. I had no time or energy to look for a fast one night stand. Or maybe that was just an excuse for me chickening out again. Outside of the convention, I just spent my time eating at th hotels buffet and watching TV in my hotel room.

As the paid trip was coming to an end, I had a free day all to myself. It started off the same. I went to the buffet and ate till I was full. Then I waddled back to my room. Looking through my suitcase, I saw my special clothes I packed. In case I did manage to get the courage to do a one stand, I pack some leather gear. I sighed disappointed in myself for chickening out.

But, a thought popped in my mind. I might not have the courage to have sex with a stranger. But, I could walk around the casino dressed up as a fat leather daddy. I put on the tight leather pants. I put on a plain white shirt and leather vest. I looked at the mirror and smiled. Finally, I could express myself. I put on the rest of my gear and sighed. My heart was racing. And then I opened my hotel room door.

No one was around so, I walked into the elevator. Through the sound of my heartbeat, I was screaming inside my mind. "What the FUCK am I doing." As the elevator went down people started getting in. I wanted to cry, I was so embarrassed. But, nobody said anything. No one laughed or said something mean. Some people even smiled at me. I began to relax. I began to feel happy and maybe even sexy.

It felt like the stars aligned. And maybe they did. I went to see some shows. I ate at the buffet. I got compliments from guys. I got some numbers and some invites to clubs. I even danced with some guys at a leather bar. But, I knew I wasn't going to take the next step. I was still scared. And, it was getting late. With beer in my stomach and altering my mind. I stopped at the slot machines and put a coin in, before going to my room. And, luck really was on my side. As the machine lit up, it announced I won the 20,000 dollar grand prize. I was still drunk. Staff and other people surrounded me. They were cheering and giving me balloons, a crown, and the check to collect my winnings when I was ready.

I got up, still tipsy, and stumbled a little bit. People laughed and cheered little bit. The staff slide the check into my vest pocket. "Don't worry I got him." A hot young man came to myside. He used his strength to help me stand. He had tattoos on his arms. He was wearing a tight shirt and pants. A gold chain hung from his neck.

Everyone dispersed as this Latin stud led me to the elevator. "Okay, Papi, what room are you in." To drunk I just handed him my key card. He lead me to my room and laid me on the bed. He started taking off my clothes. I don't fight back. In my drunk mind this is the fantasy I always wanted. "Okay big boy, it looks like your going to get luck again tonight."

I can't see over my giant stomach but, I could feel him take off my pants then underwear. Suddenly, I felt him push my fat pad and start sucking my dick. He started off slow and I moaned with pleasure. He kept sucking using his tongue to play with the head of my penis. My breathing became heavier and the pleasure starts to sober me up. I felt my dick about to burst with cum. I tried to warn him but he ignores me. And, I shoot my load into his mouth. I gasped in ecstasy.

Suddenly, I felt a dick in my mouth. My mouth is covered with semen, as the dick keep pulsating with cum. I swallowed what I could and then took it out of my mouth. Right in front of me was a familiar sight. I saw my penis surrounded by my fatty pelvic region. From this outside perspective I could see how fat I really was? I look down and saw that I'm in the young man's body. My dick was rock hard and my body was now lighter and stronger. Adrenalin rushed through my muscles. Tattoos covered the body.

My body finally started talking, "Like what you see?"

"What did you do to me ... to us?"

"You see I'm a juggalo and I saw you ... a man who needed to get lucky, if you know what I mean. And, after tonight's big win down stairs I know you have the money to pay me."

"But... but.... I'm in your body and you ..."

"Oh, I have a fetish. I like giving men the opportunity to be me. I mean look at you now you are stud. You are turned on just by being in that body. Just existing in that body is orgasmic for you. So, that makes sex so much better, at least for me. And, then experiencing new bodies is always fun. I haven't been in a person this fat in awhile. And your breast are so sensitive. Oh, and this tight asshole. What do you say do you want to fuck yourself, with my body."

My old body spreaded its legs, revealing its asshole. My dick was raging hard. I slowly inserted my long dark dick. It felt so good. I started going a little faster. I watch as the muscles in my caramel body flexed and relaxed. The whole experience was hot. I started touching my old body the way I knew I liked to be touched.

"Fuck this is so good. Faster, faster, faster." My old body cried out. Feeling the strength of the muscled body, I go full speed. Both of our bodies were sweating, panting, moaning. Then everything stopped, as we both cummed.

We laid side by side, a big smile on my face. My old fat body started kissing my buff chest and then up my neck. "Let me freshen up, and then it's my turn to fuck you." He whispered sexually.

I watched as he struggled to get to his feet and then as he waddled to the bathroom. I laid there exploring my new body. My dick already getting hard from my excitement.

Then, I heard the front room door open. A man with a gun walked in.

"Fuck Enrique! Cover up or something." My heart racing, I grabbed a blanket and put it over my naked body. "Good, now this is you last fucking chance. The boss wants his money and necklace back"

"You ... you ... I'm... um." I try to talk but I can't think straight. The man walked closer and grabbed me by the neck. He started choking me. I tried to fight back. But, then he grabs me by the balls. He starts squeezing them. The pain is intense, I lay still. "Good now talk or I ripped out your prized possessions." He says as he pulls out a blade.

Then from the corner of my eye, I saw my old body enter the room. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Ryan leave him alone. It's me Enrique. He has nothing to do with this."

The man on top of me looks over his shoulder. "Really!? Your in that fatass. I guess it suits you for being such a pig in the first place." He laughed. "So, where's the boss's money."

"Here, I have part of it here. This guy just won it big downstairs. And, with access to his memories, I have access to his bank accounts." Enrique smiles.

The man begins to aim his gun at Enrique. "What ... what are you doing. I ... I have the money." Enrique starts to panic.

"What is your name," the man motions to me. "Andrew," I nervously replied. The man turns his attention back at Enrique. "No you don't have the money. You have Andrew's money. The boss is fucking tired of your shit. God! I've been waiting to do this for so long," with that last word Enrique, in my body, was shot in the head. Blood splattered on the wall and was quickly pooling on the floor. I saw in shock as my old body laid thier lifeless. What the fuck was going to happen, now.

The man walks to me and I prepare for the worst. Instead, he just ripped the golden chain from my neck. "Well it looks like it your lucky day. You got an upgrade on your body.." He said, as he looked down at me. "Don't worry about your old life. There is no going back now. I'll make sure your wife and kids get what you saved in your bank and I'm pretty sure the boss will throw a little extra."

"S ... so your just going to let me go?," I asked.

"Yeah, why not? You didn't do anything wrong., besides cheating. But, we've all been there. Plus, that body has made a lot of enemies so, you won't exactly have a peaceful life. Don't get me wrong the boss will spread the word of what really happened to Enrique, but some people just really like seeing the actual body dead. So, take your winnings and find some small town to lay low and start a new life."

A new life, one that was in constant danger. This seemed more like a punishment, but in a way I guessed I deserved it. I could never go back to my old life. I knew at this point there was no use in protesting. "What about him I pointed to my dead body."

."Oh, he was a pig in life. Now he's being tortured as a fatass in hell. But, if you are talking about the body; well we have people who will take care of that. So, I recommend leaving as soon as possible."

The man patted me on the back and started to leave. "Good luck with your new life. But, if things get to out of hand for you or you are in desperate need for a job give me a call." He places a business card on the desk, before he leaves.

Now, I'm sitting here. Memories flood my mind. I saw every bad thing this body did. Using that necklace, the man took, to rob people of everything they owned, even killing people in the process. I looked at my hands, then my arms, and then my muscular torso. I had my dream body, but at what cost. I look at this memories with disgust, I knew that I wasn't capable of those acts. But, it didn't matter, the memories felt so real.

I hear a buzzing sound and snap back to reality. I start putting on Enriques clothes and feel a cell phone. It buzzes again. LAST WARNING: Destroy this phone and get out of there now!. I easily snap the phone in half and submerge the broken pieces into a nearby glass with water. I take the the business card and walked out of the room. I didn't know where I was going. I just knew Las Vegas was no longer safe for me. I need to get some where far and collect my thoughts about what the fuck happened.

[the-lonelybarricade]

darling dearest, i am in need of some advice and you were the first person i thought to ask (your fanfics are so deep, you have unrivaled wisdom. also you are an adult, which is very useful right now)

so, acting means a lot to me. in fact, it means the world. one of my first coherent sentences as a baby was, "mommy, i want to be on tv," so of course i developed an interest in theater.

it's my first year of high school, and my first thespian convention, and it's 500 dollars. for some context here, my parents had their first kid in high school. my mom never graduated, my dad joined the army instead of going to college. and then they had four more. on top of that, my dad's retired so we're all around dirt fuckin poor hahah. in other words, no one in this family has 500 dollars to send me (except for my middle sister, but that really is too much to ask for).

except for me! i had the money! only, it's in my college fund (which is 660 right now, no one set up a college fund for me as a baby--i only started saving two years ago). like i said, we're dirt poor and no one has the money to put me through college. my sister is a lawyer and has been practicing for years, and is still 200,000 dollars in debt from student loans. i'm having to rely on being smart to apply for scholarships and grants, and if i'm really special, i can get into harvard for free. which is such a huge deal, and one i'm kind of counting on.

even if i don't go to college, i need the money for when i ditch my home state and live in the big city for my big shot at being a successful actress. i can't do this every year. i've already decided to drop cheerleading and adv math next year so i can get a job (i'm not allowed to get one until i can drive). but i don't know if 3yrs of work will even be enough if i want to do normal teenager things and still go to college. chances are, i'm not getting into harvard, much less for free. i'm not gifted like i was as a little girl, and i think the stress would be too much. my mom says she'd help but she's saving for her own house and already getting me my own car, and she doesn't have money either. i don't think i can ask her for that.

thank you for even bothering to read this, thank you times one thousand if you respond.

Goodness lovely, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. This is such a big burden to carry and I know it must be really intimidating to think your future is restricted because of money. But take a deep breath, we're going to talk about some things, okay? I'm still new to being an adult myself, I'm in my final year of uni and money is hard.

So first let's talk about this $500 for your Thespian Convention. First, if this is a school event, a lot of schools do wave or reduce fees like this for families that can't afford it. They also may offer scholarships. I would look into seeing if that's possible, but otherwise let's talk about covering that cost from your college fund. I'm assuming from your language that you're American, which means that if you're earning the federal minimum wage (7.25/hr) it will take 60 hours of working to pay that off. That could take anywhere from 2 weeks to a month to work off if you're working part time, so you need to ask yourself if you feel like the thespian convention is worth a month of work that you could be putting towards your college fund. (Also, I know you said you can't get a job until you can drive, but maybe see if there's anything local you can do for extra money, like maybe tutoring or babysitting?). And if you can't go to this Thespian Convention, see if theres a less expensive alternative you can pursue.

Another important thing to consider is that, if acting is definitely what you want to do, you don't need to go to college to be a successful actor. Leonardo Dicaprio, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling, there's plenty of major A-list actors that skipped college alltogether to pursue their careers. Here's a list. And if going to college is something you really, really want to do, you also don't have to go to college immediately after graduating high school.

This is something they didn't push a lot when I was in high school, and this would have been mind blowing for me when I was a freshman. In my high school going to college was like the expectation for families that could afford it. And they also offered great support for struggling families and first generation students. But I did something super unconventional for my town and I took a gap year. And that gap year changed my life. So my love, you don't need to worry about 3 years being enough time to do normal teenager things while working your butt off to pay for school. You can give yourself as many years as you need to get that money together, or to pursue your acting career or both. College is ready for you when you're ready for it. There's no set timeline. And I wish they told high schoolers that more often. I wish I was told that sooner.

But let's say that you really want to go to college and you really want to go as soon as you graduate high school. That's totally fine too! Let's talk about your options. Getting a full-ride scholarship is competitive and a lot of pressure to put on yourself. I say go for it! Go for as many as you can and apply for every scholarship available! But also give yourself the breathing space to think about other options. This is a list of no-loan colleges in the US. These are schools that will meet 100% of your financial need if you get accepted. Now the tricky thing is you still have to pay for your EFC (estimated family contribution) and sometimes your FAFSA (federal application for student aid) grossly overestimates how much your family can actually contribute. But it will definitlely eat a big chunk of that money away and there are still loan and scolarship options for that remaining sum. Also when applying for these schools a lot of them do offer an application fee waiver for families that can't afford it.

There are also loads of private scholarship available options from various companies. Talk to your high school counsellors, they *should* have great resources for finding this kind of stuff. I wish I could remember where I found all of my scholarship info, but it's been almost 5 years since I've done that research. I think maybe fastweb was something I found useful? And I also found this website and this website after a cursory google search just now. I'm sure you'll find good sources too! Freshman year is not too early to start applying to private scholarships. A lot of them are directed at seniors, but there are all kinds and sometimes they're just fun contests with small rewards, but it all adds up!f

You can also try killing two birds with one stone! See if there are any acting jobs available either in your local area or even just online! Maybe set up a fiverr and read scripts for people, or see if you can work as a counselor for a theater camp in the summer. My first job was as an acting job as a dancing penguin at a local summer festival when I was 14.

Okay and now I feel obligated to tell you something. You don't need to go to college in the US. This probably sounds outrageous as a freshman, it definitely would have to me. But I'm literally typing this from where I now live in the UK, after taking that gap year and realizing that american school is ridiculously expensive and way less cool than european schools? Do your research, there's lots of options available to you and the US is not your only one. I've saved loads of money going to school here and I'm happy as a clam. Here are some fun links.

Anyway my love, I know that was a lot of information and I'm sure none of it magically solved your problems or took that burden of your shoulders. But take a deep breath. Everything will happen in its own time and there will always be opportunities for you to pursue being an actor. There will also always be the option to decide to go to college at any point in your life. The biggest and most important thing is to just not give up. Focus on the here and now, focus on your grades, and the rest will follow. You got this, I know you do. And please, always feel free to come to me with any questions or even if you just need to rant in my inbox, I'm here <3