#(yes this HAS been sitting in my drafts for 8 months)

[luvelve]

boyfriend!wonwoo who wakes up at the slightest sound or movement and he can’t help it or do anything about it even if he so badly wants to. the first few weeks of living together was difficult to say the least. you’d wake up in the middle of the night to pee or to have a glass of water and you’d find wonwoo sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for you to come back. guilt would wash over you knowing he has to get up early in the morning and every other morning.

you feel like the worst person in the world having to interrupt his slumber, but he tells you its okay. you once even offered to sleep in separate rooms so wonwoo can have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. but of course, he turned the offer down. sometimes he’d act like he wasn’t woken up from your movement because he knows you still feel guilty.

you’re many months into sharing a bedroom and you’ve kinda gotten used to your light sleeper of a roommate. it’d help when wonwoo came home absolutely exhausted, he’d sleep like a baby and couldn’t be disturbed by anything.

it’s way past 3am on a gloomy tuesday morning when you feel your blanket shift and cold wind hit your lower body. you look over your shoulder to wonwoo’s side and you see him getting up and putting his glasses on. he’s quietly heading towards the door when you let out a mumble.

“i’m sorry my love, i didn’t mean to wake you.” he finds your face under the moonlight that shines through the window.

“where are you going?” you use whatever strength you have to sit yourself up on the bed.

“i was just going to get some uh… water.”

liar. the glass of water you put on his bedside table before lying down has barely been touched. and the fact that he put his glasses on isn’t helping his lie either. it takes you a few seconds but you also notice that his hair hasn’t been messed up from sleep.

“have you been up all night?” you shoot him a head tilt, slowly getting up from your bed to make your way towards him. you can tell the mental gymnastics he’s doing in his head to try and convince you to get back to bed. at this point, wonwoo knows you’ve got him and there’s no point in lying anymore.

“yes… but its okay, really. y-you can go back to bed.” he tells you softly, putting his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. even at this hour, when wonwoo hasn’t had a second of sleep, he’s still able to be this selfless.

you stand just a few inches away from him, head tilted up to look him in his tired and droopy eyes while he looks down at you, doing the same thing. it’s silent and the only thing that can be heard is the faint sounds of the city. you take a small step to close the gap between the two of you as you wrap your arms around his waist. your head is resting on his chest and you feel it rise and fall.

“we’ve talked about this before. you always stay up with me, even when i never ask you to. waiting for me to get back from the kitchen or the bathroom. and it’s unfair to you… but i hope you know that i’d do the same for you.” you close your eyes, head still resting on his chest, internally blaming yourself for not being as light a sleeper as your boyfriend.

he smiles and returns your hug, wrapping his arms around your body and resting his chin on the top of your head. “i know, my love. i’m sorry.” another trait of your wonwoo’s, being sorry for something that’s not even his fault.

“just wake my sleepy ass up next time, okay?” he lets out a laugh and you feel it rumble in his chest. you lift your head up to look at him once again as he nods. his smile is big enough that the corners of his eyes crease.

“jeon wonwoo, i wanna hear you say it.” your voice is soft yet a bit playful. you tug at his white shirt as your lips unconsciously form into a slight pout.

“yes, maam.”

a/n: as usual, this is very self indulgent. but also, i feel like this is something that wonwoo would actually do :(( aaand i still can’t seem to finish this wonwoo fic that’s been in my drafts for over 3 weeks so pls enjoy this for now <3

[simpingforstardew]

muse

pairing: sdv elliot x reader

synopsis: elliot is struggling with severe writers block; if only he had a muse...

note: a while ago i talked about having a derivative idea for an elliot x reader fic; here is that fic !! the premise is completely unoriginal, but i'll leave the references at the end of the fic to avoid spoilers hehe

warnings: i don't even know for this one gang, wholesome w/ an ending that could be read as spooky? let's call it a doomed romance !! tw/ relationships that are doomed by the narrative !!

word count: 1.5k

Adronitis

A heart so damaged; tender; sore—

You ever-blooming sycamore,

Through hunger pangs; my deliriousness,

I mourn my mortal catoptric tristesse.

With starving dreams, your warmth I crave—

I worship you, I must embrave,

Indulge me, lay your fear ahind.

Our sanctuary; your piece of mind.

My amorous famine demands more […more what?],

So I feast on your smile […] petrichor.

i am just writing this right niw so it

looks lije i am being pro ductive oh Yoba

andnow leahs comin g over this

is alll shit im jist going to star t overrr

“How’s the writing going, El’?” Leah peers down at Elliot with a smile, wiping the sweat from her brow. “We’ve been at it for a while without a break, you know?”

“Oh, Leah! It’s going splendidly, and yes, it seems we have…” Elliot coughs, avoiding eye contact while tearing the paper from his typewriter. “Why don’t we call it for today then?”

“Without showing me what you’ve done? C’mon,” she whines, “What do you have?”

Elliot and Leah had decided, sometime early last Spring, to meet in Cindersnap forest every Wednesday to work on their current projects. ‘Parallel play for artists,’ Penny once called it when walking Jas back to Marnie’s ranch. For Leah, this weekly rendezvous has (so far) allowed her to complete 2 clay sculptures, 3 wood sculptures, 23 drawings, and 8 paintings; for Elliot, the last few months has allowed him to create…

“Nothing,” Elliot sighs, packing his typewriter’s case with a frown. “I have, somehow, written nothing! I mean, I wanted to craft a Petrarchan sonnet, inspired by Poe’s romantic, yet macabre sensibilities. I ended up with trash I couldn’t even make hendecasyllabic. It’s embarrassingly Shakespearian and—”

“Whoa, whoa, buddy, that’s okay. That’s fine. I’m not sure what any of that means, but…” Leah scrunches her freckled nose, hoping to find the right words to calm Elliot down, “It seems like you’re expecting perfection from a first draft. Maybe we should call it for today, and you could revisit your poem tomorrow?”

“Yes, you are right,” the authors scowl softens; after a moment of meditation—feeling the summer breeze tangle in his hair—he looks towards Leah with a smile. “I will see you next week, Miss Faraday.”

Elliot didn’t return to his typewriter until later that week, deciding instead to bask in the sun’s warmth on the beach. The author sits on the pier with a contented sigh, the rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore providing a soothing backdrop to his afternoon reverie.

Even still, despite the Elysium that he has found himself in, Elliot cannot shake his frustrations; his linguistic discouragement plagued his every thought.

“Ahoy there, my boy! Perfect weather for fishing don’t ya reckon?” Willy smiles, closing the front door to the Fish Shop behind him. Elliot

“Ah, hello Mr. Tucker,” Elliot waves as the fisherman sits beside him, attaching a small blue tackle onto an impressively shiny rod, “I suppose it is, although I fear I don’t have my fishing gear with me today.”

“What’d I tell you about calling me that? No need to be so formal, son,” Willy chuckles, casting a line into the vast depths of the saltwater, “Say, aren’t ya usually off in town around this time? Feel like I never see you this early on a Wednesday.”

Elliot still had to adjust to the predictive routine of a small town, and the horrifying consequences of straying from said routine: becoming the topic of mid-afternoon gossip.

“Yes, well, I um—,” Elliot sighs, looking into the deep blue below as if the ocean concealed the antidote to writers block, “I have been, writing with Leah every Wednesday and… actually can I ask for some advice?”

“O’ Course ya can, my boy.” Willy nods.

“I have been… struggling lately,” The taller man slumps as he runs a hand through his auburn hair, his voice heavy with uncertainty, “I feel as if I have lost my spark, my… capacité artistique. I cannot, for the life of me, write anything of quality! I just… I feel broken, Mr. William.”

Willy takes a moment to think, slowly breathing in the salty air, “Hmm, I see your problem, lad— but it’s important to know yer not broken. Aye, nothin’ about ya is broken.”

A fish tugs at Willy’s fishing line: desperately; hopelessly.

“It’s like if yer pal Willy couldn’t fish anymore… I’d sooner swallow a sea urchin than lose my ability to do what I love,” Willy pulls the rod towards him, putting up a fight with whatever poor creature is on the other end of the line, “but sometimes it’s tricky doing what ya love 24/7, son! You got to remind yerself to take breaks, and…”

The creature is hurled out of the ocean, flapping helplessly as the fisherman releases it from his tackle. Willy holds the freshly-caught octopus up to Elliot.

“Remind yerself why ya love it!” Willy chuckles, before mumbling to himself about throwing his newest catch in a tank lest he ‘gets inked’.

As Elliot sits in contemplative silence, the ocean offering solace: the rushing winds, the distant cry of seagulls, even the smell of salty air. Over the last year and a half, he has grown to love it all.

As he rises to his feet, Elliot considers his friends’ advice. He certainly didn’t want to remain in this slump forever; so he needs to find a reminder of why he loves writing; a source of reinvigorating inspiration.

He needs to find a muse.

A muse in a village with a population of 27.

‘Well,’ Elliot thinks, slamming his cabin’s door shut behind him as he slides onto his desk chair. He sets up his Olympia SM 9 for the second time today. ‘If I can’t find my muse in life, I will simply create my muse in art.’

For a moment, the black page loaded into the typewriter stares back at Elliot, mockingly. Then, as suddenly as the crash of thunder that bellows from above, the author began to write.

Elliot bursts into the Fish Shop, his manuscript clutched tightly in hand, a triumphant gleam in his eye. “Willy, my friend, you’re incredible!” he cheered, his excitement palpable. “I truly could not have done this without your support.”

Willy grins, offering a sincere thumbs-up. “Glad to hear it, lad! So what was your reminder, eh? What got you back on track?”

Elliot coughs, a flush creeping up his freckled cheeks. “Well, you see… I made it up.”

Willy arches an eyebrow, bemused,“Ya made up yer reminder for why you love writing? Now, son…”

“No, no,” Elliot hastens to explain, “My love for writing is genuine. But my muse, my darling muse, is not.”

“I’m not following, my boy.”

“I have spent all night crafting the narrative of a completely fabricated person, it’s all here,” Elliot elaborates, “They’re genuinely kind, talented and hard-working, despite never being appreciated. They have the most charming mole on their neck, and they’re delightfully witty! After their grandfather passed away, they—”

“Son,” Willy interrupted gently, his tone tinged with amusement, “Yer a peculiar one, ya know that? How is this going to help with yer writing?”

“It does sound ridiculous, but dedicating my sonnets to this idealised character… thinking of them as I work on my novel… It has been phenomenally motivating!” Elliot laughs, re-reading through the pages before stopping in his tracks, “Oh, I do apologise old friend, I barged into your shop like a man possessed.”

It had been months since Elliot had felt such a fervent desire to write; his unbridled excitement was contagious; a smirk spreads across Willy’s face, crinkling the corners of his dark green eyes.

“If it were anyone else instead of you, I’d be furious, lad,” Willy chuckles, reaching into his mini fridge, “‘Ere, I whipped up too many crab cakes last night, and I know they’re yer favourite— consider it a gift.”

As Elliot arrives back at his cabin, writing snacks in tow, the muffled playing of his piano greets him. He chuckles softly, before preparing to shoo Harvey out of his home so he could resume his day of writing.

“Sincerest apologies, I—,”

“Oh! Honey, you’re back so soon.” Turning away from the piano, your eyes catch Elliot’s with a familiar warmth. You admire the way your boyfriend’s hair always forms delicate waves when exposed to the sea spray.

The author was struck speechless, his heart pounding as he stared at you with more focus than you have ever been subject to.

It couldn’t be real. And yet there you are. You. The muse Elliot had crafted— who's entire life was written mere hours prior on the pages that were now strewn about the floor— was standing before him in flesh and blood.

Every flawless detail exactly as he had imagined.

“Elliot, darling, are you okay?” Your smile becomes wry; nervous as to why your lover was acting so peculiar, his pale skin was now a ghastly white. “Would you like me to pour some wine? We can—”

Before your suggestion was made, Elliot was gone; the door slamming shut behind him.

note #2: okay if you didn't catch it, my inspiration was the 1960 episode of the Twilight Zone: 'A World of His Own', and (more relevantly) the 2012 psychological horror romcom Ruby Sparks !! if you check out either that episode or movie, pleasepleaseplease lmk what you think <33

[silversims]

Snowdrop Blossom | Amaryllis Blossom | Rose Blossom Marigold Blossom | Hibiscus Blossom | Gladiolus Blossom Jasmine Blossom | Morning Glory Blossom | Asteria Blossom Orchid Blossom | Lavender Blossom | Edelweiss Blossom Freesia Blossom | Caladrius Blossom | Plumeria Blossom DOWNLOAD THE BLOSSOM FAMILY HERE *If you're just here for berry sim downloads, don't click the read more. If you want an update on Crystal's future, what I said in the tags in Gen 1's post, and where we're going, read on.

So. Shop talk time.

Crystal will be my first, last and only full Sims 4 story.

After struggling for...six months or so now with a proper scene by scene outline for Gen 1 (GEN 1! GEN-F'ING ONE!) for Blossom, starting over and over and over and over and--I have 18 drafts for this thing. Not even my million word plus fanfic has gotten that many drafts I don't--I can't even. But I don't say that to flex. I say this to explain that, after yet another failed drafting attempt didn't work, I had a long sit and think about if I even wanted to tell this story and the answer is...no. I don't. To be completely honest, I'm sick of the Sims 4 and how it plays, how unstable it is as more and more updates are released, and I say that as someone who pirated the damn thing and doesn't update until absolutely necessary. So when I say the thought of having to use it for another 6+ years was heavy...well, yeah, it was heavy.

And I do mean 6+ years. I started playing Gen 1 of Crystal in April 2019 (we don't count Gen 0, that was two days and on rails) and it is now August 2024. Five years later and we're not done with Gen 6! 7 is ready to go, sure, but I still have to play > cap > edit > post > write dialogue for Gens 8, 9, and 10*! At its current pace, Crystal has enough material to last into the early part of 2027. Add three more gens to that and we're looking, probably, at 2030 before it's done. That's a long time. 11 years for 11 gens and one AU (which we also don't count that was on rails too--). Blossom would have been 13 gens and a shorter prologue, so 13 years. That is too long. That is too heavy. As much as I adore some of the concepts I created, I can't have this...thing clinging on for that long. I can't. it does not spark joy, so it will be discarded. Crystal will be finished. I am currently retooling Gens 8 through 10 to incorporate my favorite ideas from Blossom into it, but this thing is over half done and I will not abandon it. After it's finished, this blog will be retired.

If anyone wants to take my sims up for download and use them in their own legacies, please please please please please do so freely!!! That's what I uploaded them for, and when Crystal is done they'll go up, too. *Gen 10, Silver? Yes, my friend. Gen 10. A nice round number...and a nice dramatic ending where we began. :3 You'll see.

[evangelineshifts]

(This has been sitting in my drafts since feb)

I just had the weirdest shifting (?) dream ever???

Warning: sorry if this is confusing I’m literally losing my mind trying to process this. It probably won’t convey as dire as I’m making it out to be but I’m very disoriented still

Basically the dream started out normal (which for me isn’t normal at all) I was in my living room with my family when all of a sudden my front door slammed open and in comes my older brother- my older brother who DIED SIX YEARS AGO. I did have it in mind to manifest him being alive again but I was gobsmacked. He comes in and everyone acts normal as if he’d never left and I audibly went “oh my god” in the most horrified voice ever and they all looked at me and I ran upstairs to my room (which also hasn’t been my room up there in years) and went to grab my phone which was still like modern to these times. My Lock Screen was different and stuff but like I could read everything on the screen. Which is weird cause in dreams you shouldn’t be able to do that. Everything was clear I read the date it said it was Wednesday, December 8. I fuckin lost it I was going insane. I was like crying cause I was overwhelmed and I went to google and I searched up what year it was (idk why I didn’t just go to calendar but I was distressed). It said it was 2016 which I thought was a bit weird cause I didn’t manifest I wanted to go back to 2016 I wanted to go back to 2021 when I was 15 but I didn’t complain cause my brother was back. (Woke up and checked if Dec 8 was on a Wednesday in 2016. It wasn’t but it was in 2021 😭😭)

So I went to snap chat and checked my friends list and there where tons of new people that I had sent pics too but I was looking for one in particular- the girl I script to be my bsf in every DR that I wanted to manifest was real here and lo and behold, there’s her name “Savanna 😊🙈” i was 🫨 so anyways the dream goes on and looking back at it, it didn’t make as much sense as I thought it did at the time but I was sort of confused then too cause things weren’t how I wanted only half like it. So I told someone (who I think was meant to be savanna but looked nothing like her) about what was going on and I told her “I haven’t always been here” and she went “yes you have 🤨” and I went “no like this current awareness, this consciousness hasn’t always been here” and she just looked at me blankly and went “ok” and kept walking while I was loosing my shit. I saw friends from my dr that I wanted to manifest into this reality and my bf from my better cr dr and he called me over to him and he literally just held me and looked at me with the biggest smile but then I realized he didn’t look like my boy. Like his hair was lighter and his eyes were brown not bluish green like usual so I like decided to go away and look for other people. I found Jules (Leblanc) and she’s my best friend in a ton of my drs and ran over to her like practically sobbing cause I was so confused cause everything seemed clear and yet not at the same time and it feel like my brain was exploding and she just hugged me and listened as I babbled on about how I just woke up in the wrong year and my dead brother was suddenly alive and nothing was exactly how I wanted it yet it was close???? I was just so confused and overwhelmed and everyone was really supportive and trying to comfort me as I was literally losing my mind but I could visibly see the confusion on their faces which made me more distressed cause I didn’t understand. And then after awhile the dream got. all weird again. If anyone and I mean ANYONE has any ideas of what the fuck this could’ve been I’d be open to theories cause a whole month later and I still got nothing 😊

[londonhalcyon]

Fic Writer Interview (20 Questions)

This tag game passed by twice, once in January (because apparently this post has been sitting in my drafts that long) and again several months later, so forgive me for not remembering who to tag! These questions seem fun, so if anyone wants to join, feel free to say I tagged you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

20 at the moment, with plenty more WIPs.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

480,895 words and counting.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Not counting TMW bonus content, the top 5 are:

The Mad Witch (758 kudos)

"The Scarlett Cauldron" (77 kudos)

"Fear Itself" (76 kudos)

"The Most Powerful Witch" (72 kudos)

"Piper's Best Worst Day" (57 kudos)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I love engaging with my readers and other members of the fandom. Every comment always makes my whole day. Life gets busy sometimes, so I don't always have the time to respond to every single one, but I definitely see and appreciate all of them!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Usually my fics have fairly hopeful endings, but "3 Years Ago," a pre-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect fic might fit the bill. Sometime in the future, it has the potential to be topped by "Will of the People," a Fallout 4 WIP that revolves around the Diamond City anti-ghoul riots.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My Secret Santa fics, "It's Not the Fall" and "Flawed Phials," definitely have the fluffiest endings!

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I get rude or condescending comments on occasion from people who don't know how to hit the back button and/or are unfamiliar with fandom etiquette, though nothing actively malicious. The one time I received a transphobic/homophobic message in response to TMW it was private (if it was public, I would have deleted it; I don't give a platform to that kind of thing at all), and honestly I hope that person is in a better place now because they really didn't seem okay at the time. I'm fortunate that the vast majority of my readers and mutuals are such wonderfully amazing and kind people.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, BUT, before you get too excited, not in The Mad Witch. Smut is by definition graphic, and TMW has a Teen rating that shall remain unchanged.

The smut scenes I've drafted so far (F/F and F/M) are for my Rosemary Reaper series (post-canon Fallout 4 WIP). Those fics will all be rated Mature, so while not overly explicit, they'll definitely be spicier than TMW. Maybe I'll share a snippet sometime if there's any demand for it.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?? I have long since deleted my Wattpad account, so my fics should only be on AO3. If anyone ever finds one of my fics elsewhere in the wild, please let me know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, which is probably for the best. I would like to make some heavy edits to the beginning of TMW when I'm done with it.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic, though I have co-written a short fantasy story with a friend, with him writing for one POV character and me for another. We agreed on major actions and story beats, but we each kept a major secret that we didn't reveal until after we had written our individual parts. It was a lot of fun (though we were both painfully unskilled at the time).

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't know if I really have one. I have ships I enjoy and characters I like to pair with OCs, though nothing I feel properly obsessive over. This might be a consequence of primarily writing for video game fandoms. But I do have my default game romances: Merula in HPHM, Piper in Fallout 4, Marcurio in Skyrim, etc. I'm also a sucker for unrequited love interests, like Serana in Skyrim and Aveline in Dragon Age 2. The ANGST.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I never want to say never because I'm currently 83,435 words into the last fic I said I would never write. But there are two fics that I'm almost certain I will never finish, which I'm kind of sad about: my post-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect longfic, A Certain Darkness, and my RWBY OC team longfic, DSRT.

I made it just shy of 200,000 words into A Certain Darkness before I had to drop it. My writing skills ended up surpassing the progress I had made, and by the time I realized how many characters, relationships, and plot points were just straight up bad, I had written myself into a corner. I do love Joy and Angel so much, a medium/ghost duo with way more homoerotic tension than my closeted teenage self ever intended. Maybe one day I'll gut the story, drop the characters into a different setting, and make it something original. One day.

DSRT ran into a similar problem, though fortunately I only ever wrote the first few chapters. I could probably reattempt it if I really wanted, but with the overwhelming number of WIPs I already have, it's hard to imagine finding the time. I do miss my team of teenage idiots: Dustin, Saul, Rosemary, and Talos. It was supposed to have a really tragic ending too, which I don't often get to write.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I often receive compliments on how human I make my characters feel, which is the highest honor anyone could give. I've been told my dialogue frequently flows smoothly too.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Conciseness. Why is this post so long omg.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Do it carefully and with necessity. Maybe a character is bilingual and blends languages, so it's part of their characterization. Maybe a password or spell needs to be said in another language because it's old or pretentious. It can work, but it can also be easy to mess up. I personally avoid writing dialogue in languages I don't have a good grasp of, or I try to consult other people if I do (not Google Translate, which sucks).

There's also the matter of if the POV character even understands the language being spoken. If they don't, then I don't write the language out (unless it's a phrase the character is going to learn later on). In these instances, it makes more sense to write something like, "The man muttered a phrase in a language she didn't recognize," or "She fired off something in Spanish, the words too quick to catch."

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars the Clone Wars, baby! I was like ten or eleven. Never published, but my worldbuilding for that longfic (a saga, more like) was insanely elaborate. Alas, another story for the WIP graveyard.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Eventually, I want to get back to my Skyrim WIP, which includes a main Dragonborn/Marcurio ship. Maybe even with a little Dragonborn/Serana infidelity on the side (which Marcurio absolutely does not deserve, the poor guy).

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I mean, I have to say The Mad Witch, don't I? That fic is where my community is, where every time I post a chapter I have a ton of people who get excited about it with me. It is the story I think about constantly, that I have spent literal years writing and daydreaming about. No matter what I've written before or will write since, this will be the defining fic in my journey as a writer.

That, and I have a special fondness for "Case by Case." I just think it's neat.

[velvet-helvetica]

Hello world! I’ve dusted off this blog for some updates, including a new fic that I sorta accidentally published (what?!! it’s not that exciting, really. Read on if you must):

* First, a preface: Wow, that Fallout show is pretty neat! I’ve only watched the first episode but it gave me all the feels seeing the dystopia we know and love come to life. Pretty sure the rest of the fandom has already binged all 8 episodes. I’ll have to dodge the spoilers because it’s going to take me longer to get through the series with my busy schedule (although I’m determined to finish it before my Prime free trial ends).

* Perhaps because of the show, or the inevitability of people discovering how awesome the Fallout video games are, new readers have stumbled upon Good Blue Hunting. To my embarrassment, the fic has been sitting there “In Progress” since Feb. 2021. So I decided to finally do some AO3 clean-up and mark the darn thing as Completed. Hooray!

* In the process of getting GBH to completed status, I unexpectedly had to publish a new fic. Reason being that I had 3 chapters for an Epilogue sitting in draft form in GBH. I didn’t want to lose those chapters (even though they’re kind of meh and not fully completed), so I copied them over into a new fic called Tomorrow’s Headlines.

To be honest, I wasn’t ready to publish them, but after learning about AO3’s policy of deleting draft fics after a month, I didn’t want to lose them. So… yeah. There it is. I should be more enthusiastic, but I haven’t looked at those chapters in a while and am honestly scared of how dusty and unfinished they are.

Still I feel like I owe it to anyone who cares about F/F Nora/Piper Fallout fanfics to publish them, warts and all. It ties up some loose ends that truly bothered me in the main story. So far there are 2 chapters posted, with a 3rd one waiting in the wings. I have a 4th chapter on my computer…and then the material abruptly ends. Endings are hard!

* To summarize, yes I have a new fic, Tomorrow’s Headlines, epilogue to Good Blue Hunting. But don’t hold your breath for Tomorrow’s Headlines to be fully completed (but I never say never). Oh, and I made both as part of a series, which trumps up their self-importance. And no I haven’t finished the Fallout TV series yet, no spoilers please.

* Related news, I’ve already received one comment from a kind reader stating their belief that Tomorrow’s Headlines was written by ChatGPT (bwahahahahahaha!!!). I make no promises that this fic will get any better. In fact, letting ChatGPT have a go at it might improve it immensely 🤣.

[imrinababy]

𝙰𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚎 𝚁𝚢𝚍𝚎𝚛 [𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢/𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖]

Get to know them below!

this has been sitting in my drafts + yes, you’ve seen this sim on my account like 3 posts down but those screenshots were from months ago & since I had no one to really share them with, I’d just take a quick screenshot of my screen to drag + drop into a convo but now I get to yap away here. 😎 They also got a small revamp (hehe)!! I’ll probably make little (lol) posts like this from time to giving backstories to some of my sims? idk, I always come up with a little story as I make them because I feel like you can kinda get a feel for them as you see how they’d “express themselves” through makeup or fashion. anyways enough of me yapping here, I’ll introduce you to Adrienne now.

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙰𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚁𝚢𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙰𝚐𝚎: 𝟸𝟷

𝙱𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢: 𝟹.𝟷𝟽 ♓︎

𝙵𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚛: 𝚆𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚎

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛: 𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛-𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚒𝚍/ 𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚋𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚢

𝚂𝚎𝚡𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: 𝙿𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚡𝚞𝚊𝚕

𝚁𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚜: 𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎

Adrienne is a freshly 21 year old, openly queer and business oriented person. They have periods where they present themselves more masculine or androgynous but they’re currently in their hyper-feminine era. They're a very ambitious but cheerful person, always the first to hype you up when you need it.

They consider themselves as “a human that isn’t limited by boundaries created by mankind” and refuse to use a set gender identity to refer to themselves as so they’ll use gender-fluid/ nonbinary interchangeably to avoid feeling chained to a particular identity. They’re the biggest believer in “You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone or anything, including yourself. Do what makes you happy, our time is limited. Love to live your life.”

They just got out of a two year long relationship with an ex-partner who wasn't very supportive of their gender identity or the way they'd express themselves. "Since I don't set limitations for myself gender wise, I don't mind if people call me "she" from time to time but he'd go out of his way to only refer to me by those pronouns or go out of his way to make it known that I was only a "girl/ woman" in his eyes. Although I had a lot of love for him at some point in time, he was no longer someone I could say I aligned with." They don't have a set preferences for their "ideal type" but gravitate to people who have very similar desires or goals as they do. They're very motivated to reach the goals they set for themselves and heavily desire to be with someone who can match that energy. They are very attracted to the way certain people carry themselves.

They have a HUGE passion for baking & cooking. It’s the best way they express their affection. Sure, they’ll say “I love you” or verbally express anything anything else but their skills in the kitchen is the best way they’ll respond to anything. Going through a breakup? Here’s your favorite type of cookie made especially catered with your tastes in mind. Stressed about school? Here’s a homemade meal with all your favorite ingredients! It’s your birthday?? Well hope you enjoy a day full of taste testing a bunch of dishes made especially for you to try and enjoy. Their dream is to open up a bakery and/or a restaurant to share their skills with the world.

Although they can say they have a support home life, it’s definitely far from perfect. They have an older sister (around the age of 29/30) that they lost contact with at a young age. She "disappeared" from Adrienne's life when they were 7/8 years old & their parents were going through a divorce. Their sister went with their mom and they stayed with their dad. Their mom passed 3-4 years after the split so no one really has heard anything from their sister since. They hate when anyone refers to them as “Lily” but have the fondest memories of their older sister calling them that. Their Dad is kind of hesitant to talk about the topic and avoids it as much as possible but that's made it so that hes more understanding + supportive of Adrienne even if he doesn't necessarily agree with something.

Adrienne's Outfits

Adrienne's style is whatever they think looks great on them. They're currently in their hyper-feminine era so theyre experimenting a lot with new dresses, makeup, hair etc. but they see makeup more as an artistic expression so even when presenting more masc, they still love adding a touch of makeup to themselves.

Everyday

Formal

Party

Sleepwear

Swimwear

Activewear

Hot Weather

Cold Weather

(tbh i was the least confident about this one so i might come redo it and edit this later but for now its staying this)

[atztranspm]

San PM 8 : 07/29/23

(Another that was sitting in the drafts undone....and there's others....I'll get to them 😭😭 but I need to sleep before I really lose my mind)

Deureureureuk

What are you doing everyone

My clothes were safe...?

To some extent..

I see...

I'm hungry

But I always say I'm hungry

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Oh no, I'm hungry, what do I do!!!!

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I'm hungry~

Because we're young (stream bouncy)

But the water guns that audience shoots

I wasn't hit by a single one

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

It was hot but

Why didn't you shoot me

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

It was too far away

Peukpeuk

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Later at an ateez concert

How about a water concer

I think it would be fun

If we really do one

You have to come, okay?

I'll wear my clothes

ㅋㅋㅋㅋ I'll try it later

Let me tell you

These days I really

Ocean world?

I want to go

I want to play

I like playing the most

Not being able to play is a trap

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I'll go on vacation later

If you recognize me

Wink while passing by

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Ah is that flirting

Then um

Let's do some streches

Make your arms cross stretch

You know what I mean right?

The I'll recognize

It's atiny

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

But who will I go with

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

If I go with the members

Very "ima a celebrity"

I'd feel like that

Um

Should I go with my hometown friends?

My younger cousin is a friend of mine

I came out 1 month earlier

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

But we're friends

Of course I speak informally ㅋㅋㅋ

He's tall

Taller then me

I saw him during vacation the last time

To me (they say)

"Why are you this height?"

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

"You workout?"

So

In my friends car

I had juice

And saw my uncle

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I want to go play billards with my friends

We're all scattered around these days so

It would really be amazing

When I was in middle school

I had a friend

Who wanted to be a soldier right?

We went to the schools art festivals together

We really had lots of fun

It's been a while since I got his contact

So I called him

you became a lieutenant?

So

He answered the phone

"I got your call"

He said

"Hey, I'm San"

I said

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

"Ye?"

And then

"You're San?????"

"Choi San of Namhae?!!!"

And then we talked on the phone for a bitㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

It was nice to talk to him

We're going to get together later on

What do you usually do when you get together?

You drink?

Karaoke?

I always sing though...

Karaoke is...

Instant photos sounds good

That sounds fun

I'll call my friend no matter what (he starts singing a song called friend)

If I have to sit face to face with you and hold your hand together~~~

Even when the world is scary~

Under my feet~~~

No matter where you are~~~

Even if you live a different life~~

I really agree

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I'm 25

Ha...

How did it happen already

I was 20

Ah the age changed now

Is it 24

24 months is too much

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I wouldn't be able to talk well

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

03 liner nim are asking to be friends?

Um

Let's be friends

Age doesn't matter

Let's all just be friends

Ya

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Hororok (slurp)

I ate it again

It never happened

I can pick up the words

Hororororok

I can eat them

Everyone, use it

"How can you say that!!!!"

If someone says this

Hororoorok!!!

Eat them

Being cute is the point

Annoyingly say hororororok!

Hororororor *in english*

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Isn't it fun.

Hurry and laugh.

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Good.

I want mokoko emoticons

Kakaotalk ID?

Eyyy

Don't get tricked

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Phone number?

Eyyyㅋㅋㅋ

Don't get tricked~

Why would you want my bank accountㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

You can use it to but snacks

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Should I buy you a snack?

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I'll but some for you later

Who wants to recommend some Japanese snacks

I ate lots of pudding

I ate lots of injeolmi snacks

Jagariko?

There's lots of this

What does it taste like?

Potato

Like me?

I'm a potato

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

San-potato

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋwhat do you mea san-strawberryㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Everyone let's now

Talk about something else

Um

Waterbomb review?

It was fun

It was hot

It was cool

A different topic

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I dont really watch dramas these days

I dont really watch anime either

I read webtoons these day

Un

Windbreaker

Director kim

I'm leaving to find a new job at lost ark..

Our reaper

I say it with teats in my eyes just thinking about it

Emotional BGM

island of starlight

I'll play the song and talk

I spent a lot of time with the reaper

From a certain point on

You got further away...

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Everyone, I guess you're all Fs (MBTI)

You are good with sympathizing

Anyways

So I'm going to go with a new friend

It's really TMI

Kangseong hyung is back

Ah

Director Geum Kang Seon nim

Has returned

I'm a little worried..

If he is alright..

Anyways everyone now

Let's talk about something else

I've talked too much about myself again

If I were to add one more thing

He's a director I really like

Perfume?

Perfume um

There are so many

I like black orchid

Romance is efficient vs inefficient

I think its inefficient

Taking care of romance

It doesn't change your life effectively

But

In this world where you only look for efficient things

Sometimes, I think inefficient things are necessary

Not in the realm of efficiency but

In a world where people live

I think its essential

When it comes to efficiency

The machines do everything

The machines will go through that life

Because we are people with feelings

Even if you know it's inefficient

I think romance is achievable in silence

A man after romance

-quote

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I read it in a comic book

When someone says something

Who said

Someone quote

Sanie quote

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Anyways I'm going to go after another romance

I'll be going to sleep

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I got hit by water and now I'm sleepy

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Goodnight

Everyone, have a good day

Have a good time❤️

I love you 3000❤️

Close❤️

5

4

3

2

1

❤️

[overthedub]

So All Out of Song has been on hiatus for about 2 months now since I'm trying to rewrite the backlog I already built up. I changed a lot in Chapter 5 and it affected some other major moments in All Out of Song later on.

I've been a bit stuck on Chapter 9 for a while, but I've been sitting on rough drafts of Chapter 7 and 8, too. I've been meaning to wait until I rewrite Chapter 11 to post again, but Chapter 9 is super long and I want to get it right.

To like the maybe two people who read my fic:

[therandomavenger]

The State of Things

It’s been a busy couple of months here at stately Grayson-Coats manor. A lot going on. Like, a lot a lot.

Jimmy and I spent a few weeks furiously planning the wedding. We have a tentative date (Oct 12th), and we pretty much have our colors (grey and purple) and the overall flow of the ceremony, as well as our attendants selected. Our priest has agreed to marry us (which I something I never thought would be possible, but that’s the Episcopal Church for you), and we’ve decided to get married at the actual church, which will be amazing. The next step is to call the church and schedule an appointment with the priest and also whomever we need to talk to to actually book the church and that has been on my to-do list for like six weeks now and I … just keep forgetting to do it? This is not a ‘he has mixed feelings so he’s dragging his feet’ thing, which I can forgive you for thinking. It’s a ‘the church office is only open until noon every day and by the time I remember I should call they are closed’ thing. I did put it on my LifeUp! To-do list so it should happen soon, hopefully tomorrow. I hear you. Get your shit together, Chad.

We both started school January 16th, and that has been an adjustment for both of us. I love my classes. I love the process of doing art the same way I love the process of writing, which is a good sign for my longevity in this pursuit. Originally, I was just going to get a certificate in Digital Art and Design, but now I’ve decided to get a whole-ass AA in Art. Specializing in Digital stuff, but also pursuing drawing and painting.

I am finding myself having to forgive myself for being a beginner in this. It took me 46 (at least) years to get somewhat good at writing. I’ve been doing art for a month. Less than, actually. I know how I want things to look, but my skills have not developed to the point where they come out like that. This is as it should be! If things were feeling too easy, I wouldn’t be learning. I’m getting good grades on all my assignments. I am exactly where I should be. But there’s a part of me that is like ‘I need to demonstrate immediate mastery of every new skill I try, or I am a loser. I am the only one this applies to.’ I need someone to sit next to me and spray me with water every time I say something self-deprecating. (Yes, I have been working on this in therapy). I will probably start sharing some of my art soon, probably on my Instagram account.

But I love being in school again. I like being on campus and sitting in class and working on a new set of skills. I’m into the whole thing. (Could academia be my kink?) I’ve started to make friends with my fellow students, many of whom are my age or older. Also, maybe this is news to you, but art seems to attract a lot of queer people? Who knew? Anyway, I love every part of this except getting up for 8:00 classes. Like, who invented 8:00 classes? They need to be punished.

And while I have turned my attention to art school, I have not neglected my writing. It is still my first love, and my primary vocation. I scheduled myself three days a week for writing. I write 2500 words every writing day, which gives me 7500 words a week or 30,000 words a month (at least). In January, I met this goal, even though I took a week off because I got sick (influenza can die in a fire), and I am on track for February too. I was a little afraid that my mental energy would fail me, but art and writing, while both creative, don’t use the same parts of my brain, so doing a lot of one doesn’t exhaust my capacity for the other. I have six days a week I work at either school, or writing both, and I take Sundays mostly off. I’m extremely glad I quit working at the library because that would not have fit into this schedule, despite the fact that I don’t have class the day I usually worked.

I’m almost finished with the rough draft of ‘World Enough and Time,’ my sci-fi romance that started with a silly idea and has gotten surprisingly deep. I have my next few projects lined up. Actually, I made a list of all the books I have solid ideas for, and it was, I shit you not, 37 books! So, because I am a planner, I scheduled out a potential work and release schedule and this will take me thirteen years. And part of me wants to post that list of deadlines and hold myself to it, and part of me is like, no, just write the books and don’t worry about deadlines. Clearly, I need my muse to take a vacation because I don’t need any more book ideas. But it was nice to get a realistic idea of what was possible. In 13 years, I will only be 64 (I can’t believe I used only in that sentence) and that isn’t really that old by any means. There are a lot of people in my writing group who are older than that, and still going strong.

Overall, I’m grateful for the way my 50’s seem to be shaping up. I’m not as young as I used to be, but physically, I’m just as capable as I was when I was 30. I’ve finally figured out how my brain works and created ways to be productive. I am wholly myself with everyone in my life, no longer trapped in the closet. I have great relationships with my close family and my kids and grandkids. In October, I will marry the love of my life, and there were many times over the years I despaired of that ever happening.

I would love to get away from financial stress, and really see my career take off, but I’m not really in control of whether or not that happens. The best thing I can do is put out the best work that I can, work that I am proud of, and I have been doing that. I’m looking into ways to not go as deeply in the hole as I have been (the art degree is part of that).

I have four books lined up to publish this year, including a short story collection that will be an exclusive for newsletter subscribers. Also, Curse of the Onyx Heart, the first book in The Circle and the Shadow, and epic fantasy series. In August, I plan to release Beneath the Silent Stars, which is Broken Stars book 5. Also this summer, I’ll be sending out the short story collection, which is titled Ghosts of Exile and other Stories. And then I hope to release World Enough and Time in December. That will bring my published works up to 10.   

I feel good about how things are going right now, even if things are not perfect. This is the life I have built for myself, and if I’d known it was coming during those long, dark, years, I would have realized that all the pain would one day be worth it.

[cwstau]

20 Questions for fic writers

@cchapsticck tagged me and given we should have an update on CWSTAU by the end of this month, figured I should post.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

4 - Most of my work isn't published. I've written a lot but just...not put it out there. I've always been a chicken. However one I archived/deleted and the other is on an account I don't associate with this one, and is on long term hiatus. The other is on someone else's account that will be explained below and just, /gestures.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

18,760 (published) but to give ya'll some idea of how much of Conventional Weapons is sitting waiting to be edited/refined, I have 14k sitting in gdocs

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things, Danger Days. This is a labor of love towards both fandoms, and when the main CW is done, I have pieces that are going expand with both the characters of ST and DD. Any other non-DD things will go on my other account (not associated here).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

adlfkja only got the one baby. But I'm so thankful for each and every one of those kudos.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! It may not always be coherent or the best comment, but I try to give people some sort of response as they've gone that extra mile to provide me a comment. Every kudo, every comment means so much to me. Seriously, I wrote this expecting an audience of like, 2 people, and knowing so many more are enjoying it means the world to me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There is a timeloop fic that remains in the drafts that has a horrible ending, but I don't know if it will ever be published. As of right now, no angst endings here. Complicated, messy, but not angst ridden, really.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The ending of Conventional Weapons is already written--its been written for a long time (before the middle parts were even written) and I don't know if it's the happiest ending, but it's the most hopeful.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nah, I'm too niche for that lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Smut with emotion? IDK. There are plans for smut in CW but I think they are going to be 'missing scenes' published after the fact that people can read/not read at their leisure. I enjoy writing it, but it isn't really what this story is about, and I honestly don't feel that it works with the main body of this story. Hence, the "click here to read the sex" aspect of what is going to happen. The 'sequel' things may be more explicit, as they aren't the direct story.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Gestures to what this entire blog/project is about.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

While not a traditional co-written piece, @cchapsticck has provided insight that has really helped me move this along, and the key mantra in the fic itself is from them. Their art has also really been important as well. They sell themselves short on their additions, really. Their help, esp early on, in helping me shape the world, means that this fic is what it is now.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Legit could never choose one

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Look, the story that's on hiatus may never be finished. And hey, that's okay. I have a few that I've got outlines for, that may never get past that. I'm a slow writer, I always have been. I really dont want to let anything else get rolling until CW is done anyways.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Look I'm going to be honest, I have no fucking idea. I will say I think I'm pretty good at characterization, and I usually feel confident in my choices for the character--in a 'yes they would do this given the situation' and a 'yes they would say that'. Given it's an AU I get more wiggle room, but I feel really strongly about Steve and Eddie's characterization, and I know that not everyone feels the same way I do regarding them--but I'm confident in my character choices in the story. [This goes for my other stories as well but--]

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I hate writing action. I suck at it, and I try to avoid it, despite evidence to the contrary. Trying to keep track of all the balls in the air is just annoying as hell. Also despite this fic having a real overarching plot, I have really wanted to keep it 'vibes' based more than plot, cause things get to plot heavy and I start to worry I'm a bore. It's where my insecurities start to sneak in, which lets my writing to become a lot weaker in turn.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Note: all my statements are assuming you aren't fluent in the language you are trying to write in, and you're a native English speaker. Maybe a word or two is okay? But unless you're fluent, you're gonna make it sound weird. If a character is speaking in German, just say they are speaking in German. Unless it is absoLUTELY important to the narrative that the phrase be in a foreign language, in the fic--do the work to make sure it's correct. Get a native speaker to check it, put in the translation somewhere. But again, ask yourself once, twice, three times if it's necessary.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I didn't consider it fanfic at the time but I absolutely wrote a 'fix it' chapter for the end of The Great Gatsby for class once lol. That was the beginning.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This one. Again, I know it's niche, but CW is such a labor of love, and means so much to me. It's not perfect, I'm slow going because of school and work, but I've never felt so secure in my own work and felt such joy when I'm working on it.

[eulaliasims]

Chiana: Hi, Mom.

Clara: Hey, kiddo. You want some coffee?

Chiana: Sure. Um, is this a good time to talk? Is Dad around?

Clara: Uh-oh. He's at work, but—

Chiana: It's nothing bad! Just, I think if I ask him, he'll find someway to start talking about his new pie recipe instead, and then I'll just end up leaving with half a pie. And I'd like some pie, but that's not really why I came.

Clara: Good, 'cause we don't actually have any pie right now.

Chiana: Aw.

(Discussion below of reproductive choices, and government-controlled fertility in the context of an alien society. I wrote & shot this like 8 months ago, but in light of Roe v. Wade being overturned, I wanted to add a small warning in case anyone would prefer to skip that kind of thing.)

Chiana: Theo and I were talking about children. And I just wanted to, um, explore all our options.

Clara: I see! And I'm guessing you want to know more about the "Sixam Empire and SimNation Cross-Species Genetic Analysis and Allocation Agreement".

Chiana: Is that the real name? Holy crap, no wonder no one calls it that.

Clara: It's space, kiddo; if something isn't long enough to require an acronym, it doesn't legally exist. Well, I see why you asked me and not your dad.

Chiana: He doesn't really seem to like talking about, well, home.

Clara: He's become a bit disillusioned with the way Sixam does certain things, yes. He told me once he's not sure they should be trying so hard to save the Empire after everything, but I'm not sure if he still feels that way. Of course, he's got four healthy children, which is almost certainly four more than any of his crèche-mates, and the five grandkids. You know, I've always thought you probably have some half-siblings running around somewhere.

Chiana: What?

Clara: When you become an adult in the Sixam, the government gets a DNA sample and a gamete sample. They... I don't want to say own you. But everything you do is supposed to be for Sixam. That includes your fertility, or lack thereof.

Chiana: Mom! Why didn't you ever tell us this? What if we've, like, got siblings in the next town or something? What if I was dating another alien?!

Clara: I mean, the only one of you who ever had to worry about that is Gaila, and Mikhael is definitely not a relative. Your husband doesn't even have DNA, kiddo, let alone alien DNA. Anyway, I think if you do they're probably on a spaceship somewhere, not here on Earth. Chances are Sixam threw out any samples after Three left. Disobedience isn't really the kind of trait they want to cultivate, you know?

Chiana: This is so not how I was expecting this conversation to go.

Clara: I've gotten off-topic, huh? Sorry. Look, if you wanted to sign up, it'd depend on the technician currently in charge whether they're accepting half-aliens. Some of them think it defeats the point of the experiments, or that's what I've heard. If they say yes, you beam up, they do a genetic analysis, do the thing, you pop back.

Chiana: Not entirely sure I want to give them any DNA now, thanks.

Clara: Any particular reason to choose this over more conventional methods? If it's money—

Chiana: It's not. Just, they're my people too. Even if I apparently don't know as much about them as I thought.

Clara: Well, like you said, it's not Three's favorite subject. I'm sure Syx would talk your ear off if you ask, but half of it's gonna be lies, so fair warning.

Chiana: Everything Uncle Syx says is half lies, Mom.

Chiana: That's a... lot to think about. I always wondered, if Sixam wants hybrids, why not just invite sims to join the colony? I mean. It, uh, worked for you and Dad.

Clara: The exchange program was supposed to be a sort of trial run for something like that.

Chiana: Oh, I see. Sixam doesn't want more rambunctious grad students luring away their scientists.

Clara: I'm sure that's not the only reason.

[radiant-reid]

The Gingerbread Competition

Summary: A gingerbread competition gets serious at the Reids

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (fluff)

Word Count: 1.1k

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Like many families, the Reids have traditions. They have the normal ones, like the birthday boy or girl gets to pick whatever they want for dinner, but they also have... unique ones.

It would be easy to see the annual gingerbread decorating competition as a normal tradition. It's pretty typical for families to do, but like everything about them, the tradition is odd.

"Which kid are you picking?" Spencer asks, walking into the bedroom to see his wife pulling on a Christmas-themed sweater.

It's only 8 am, but the game has begun. And it's a serious game. It started years ago when they first got together. Spencer felt like he wasn't bringing enough to the relationship with his minimal familiar traditions, so he made her a gingerbread house, just as she was making her own for him.

As naturally competitive people, a contest broke out, and the bragging rights and accolades exponentially increased.

It's Y/n's turn to get the first pick this year, and she's been training the troop of children to ensure she wins, and takes the crown from Spencer. "Morgan." She decides.

It's a quick choice. Outperforming her siblings by age and the smallest number of legos put in her mouth this year, Morgan Reid brings dedication and competitiveness to the table. Plus, she's interested in chemistry like her dad, perfect for a baking challenge.

"Who's your first pick?" She prompts, stepping closer to him so they're toe-to-toe in the middle of the bedroom.

"Toby." He chooses.

As expected. "Oh, I know all about your secrets, Reid." She says, pointing a finger at his chest. "Getting him that bridge building set for his birthday, training up your own gingerbread structural engineer."

Spencer doesn't deny it, knowing he's been caught. "Yes because I know you would pick Morgan, so I figured why not build my own secret weapon?"

She laughs at his description of their sweet five-year-old boy. "I'm taking Eden."

He gasps, recoiling in mock shock. "Ouch. That's low, Reid. Taking my little baby."

"You call them all your little baby." She reminds him, although she knows what he means. In her three Christmases, Eden has been on Spencer's team every time. Even for her first Christmas, at four months old, she was on his team.

"Still, in your attempt to cause me emotional distress, you've left me with Toby and Aspen. Twins. They are unstoppable together. It usually freaks me out when they work out of the same brain, but it's a double threat."

She shakes her head slowly and menacingly. "You know what else they do well together?" He shakes his head. "Argue. Morgan's so good with Eden."

He groans, throwing his head back. "Shit, I knew we split them up for a reason." He recalls. "Can we swap?"

"Do you think this is wrong?" She wonders, clenching her teeth. "Drafting our kids so we can compete?"

Spencer wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her body into his. "No. They don't know, and we don't love any of them more or less."

"Yeah, okay." She acknowledges what he's saying. "Now, let's get out there so I can destroy you."

He chuckles. "And our five-year-old twins."

She grins, moving out of his grip. "You're all going down." She hums happily, gesturing downward with her index fingers. "Prepare to be defeated."

He grabs her hands before she can leave, pulling her body right back to him. "Not yet." He hums, leaning down to kiss her. She deepens the kiss with her tongue sliding into his mouth before pulling away quickly. "Tease." He moans, trying to draw her back in.

"Come on, loser." She says, dragging him out of their bedroom. "It's time for you to lose."

They walk out to the kitchen hand-in-hand, announcing the teams to the four kids sitting around the kitchen island, who are eager to compete and completely unaware they've been drafted by their parents.

Then the baking and decorating starts, complete with trash-talking and heavy flirting between Y/n and Spencer. There's some sabotage, of course, and what Spencer calls chemical warfare because of an intelligent move on Y/n's part to 'accidentally' switch the labels on the red and blue food coloring.

"Okay, are you guys done?" Y/n asks team Nobel- named that because of Spencer's influence, not the twins'- as they put the final details on their houses.

Eden and Morgan made great teammates, and team Winner's gingerbread house is, in their opinion, a winner.

"To win? Yeah." Spencer says, pushing their house forward.

"Okay, sit behind them." Y/n directs the kids into the camera view. They sit on the bar stools with wide smiles as they wait to have their picture taken.

Spencer stands next to her out of the frame. "Smile." He cheers. "Then a silly one."

Both pictures get taken and then sent to the official judge to determine a winner. "Can we eat it now?" Toby asks, smiling hopefully as all four of them watch the gingerbread in awe.

"Hmm, I don't know," Y/n says, looking up at Spencer with mock thoughtfulness. "What do you think?"

"I think yes." He decides, snaking his arms around her waist from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder.

The four of them dive in, breaking the houses down as they grab a piece to eat. "This one's better." Eden determines.

"They're made with the same recipe, little one." Spencer reminds her.

"No, our one's better, daddy." Morgan backs her little sister up.

He pouts behind Y/n as he walks them closer to the countertop, picking some gingerbread up to feed to her. "It's pretty good." She agrees with what Morgan's saying.

"That was ours," Spencer informs her.

Before she can tell him off for tricking her, her phone chimes. "Oh, we have a decision." She says mysteriously, stirring up excitement as she takes her phone out. They wait eagerly for the answer in silence.

Spencer reads the text message over her shoulder: My sweet godchildren! I miss you all so much even though I saw you yesterday. And you know I hate this job since I'm going to upset half of you so please tell everyone that I adore both of the houses the same amount. However, I am slightly leaning toward the one on the left. Have an amazing Christmas, wonderful Reid family xx

"Aunt Penelope says we won!" Y/n tells Morgan and Eden, who cheer happily.

"But she loves both of them," Spencer adds.

They walk around the bench to hug the four of them, each picking up two of their children and embracing in one big family hug. "Go team Reid." Y/n and Spencer say in unison, leaning forward for a quick kiss while they celebrate the perfect moment.

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[love2write2626]

I Wouldn’t Be Complete Without You

Summary: Tom and Reader have known each other since high school. Best friends... never anything more... even though in secret he always wished something happened between them. As Tom became more and more famous he was in need of an Assistant so who better than his best friend? 20 years later Tom is married... but separated from his wife Katie Holmes, Trying to fix his marriage, raise a child, and work is becoming a lot.

 Reader has known Tom since high school. Best friends never anything else... which is very hard for her, she’s been in love with him forever. Now, still best friends, hiding her love for him has become harder and harder over the years. She’s not an actress after all. Now, Tom needs her more than ever with everything going on in his life.

Read Chapter 2 HERE

Read Chapter 3 HERE

I Wouldn’t Be Complete Without You One-Shot Masterlist HERE

Here is chapter 1: Hope you Enjoy!!!

Chapter 1

Y/N’s P.O.V

“No! No. No. No” I said into the phone walking down the stairs, juggling folders, and my shoes which I still hadn’t had a chance to put on yet. “Jackson. No. You have been telling me for two weeks now, that the article is almost done.” I sighed “Jackson, listen” I groaned this man is being a pain in the ass and it’s much too early for this shit. I walked into the kitchen and saw Tom getting breakfast ready for him, and Suri. When he saw me, he gave me a bright smile.

“Morning” He said

“No. No. I’m tired of this, Jackson I need to have a rough draft of that article by noon today, or you will lose the right to print it at all.” I listened as he tried to babble some threat back to me “Jackson, the article was supposed to be printed a week after the interview, which was 2 months ago”

“Coffee?” Tom asked, I gave him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you, and grabbed the cup walking around the kitchen

“Jackson, I’m done with your excuses noon today, or I will have the whole interview retracted and we will take it to literally any other magazine” I said and hung up the phone. I threw my phone on the counter and let out a groan

“Wow, He must of made you really mad Y/N” Suri said in an adorable voice and I giggled

“Don’t worry I’m not mad Suri”

“Nope, I’ve known Y/N for over 20 years… she’s not mad, you’ll know when she’s mad” Tom said with a chuckle, I threw a towel at him which he easily dodged and went back to making breakfast

“Ready for school?” I asked her, as I took another sip of my coffee

“Yup, I got to take lots, and lots of notes today there’s a math test on Friday and today is the test review”

“You’ll do great sweetheart” Tom said, he placed some eggs on her plate, and kissed the top of her head.

“Y/N?” she asked

“Yes?” I asked with a smile

“Will, you help me study for my test tonight” she said with a pouty face, that was very difficult to say no to.

“Sweetheart I would love to, but I have something to do tonight…” I looked at Tom and I didn’t miss the confusion that crossed his face before he went back to making breakfast for himself.

“Please, please… just a few minutes… you always help me study”

“Ok, fine… but only for a little while” she gave me a hug

“Thank you, thank you” she jumped up and started to run for the door

“Sweetie sit down, you haven’t finished breakfast”

“Dad I’m going to miss the bus” she said

“I was hoping I could take you to school today” he said

“Dad” she gave him a look, and I couldn’t help but giggle. She is only 8 years old, but she is a sassy girl… can’t even imagine what’s she’s going to be like as a teenager.

“Ok, I surrender go on” he said, she ran over and gave him a hug before running out the door. He turned back to the stove grabbed the pan and put some eggs on his plate. “I would offer you some, but I know how you hate eating breakfast” I rolled my eyes

“Someone is grumpy this morning” I said

“I just don’t like the idea of her riding the bus” he said

“Tom…”

“She’s only 8”

“Tom, she’s going to be ok. I know you have security following that bus”

“What?” he asked

“Tom, when are you going to learn I know all” I said with a smirk “I have access to your email, texts, phone calls, bank accounts… I see who you call, email, text, and pay… hell I know your social security number… could have stolen your identity years ago, and be living alone on an island” he rolled his eyes

“Very funny, you would miss me” he said

“No, you would miss me, you might be the extraordinary, bad ass actor/stunt man… but you wouldn’t be able to function day to day without me”

“Please” he said with a scoff

“Ok, what’s your social security number?” I asked with a smirk, he glared at me “I’ll try one easier what’s your phone number?” I continued to smirk as I took a sip of my coffee

“Ok, fine you win… jeez you are on a rampage this morning”

“Ok, save the dramatics for the screen Mr. Reacher” I said with a smile.

“That’s Jack Reacher” he said

“Ok, Jack Reacher get ready to go to work”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I am sitting in Tom’s chair staring at my lap top going through email after email, making appointments, and working my way through Tom’s schedule when my phone dinged

Can’t wait to see you tonight.

I smiled when I read the message from David. I’ve been seeing David in secret for a few months now… and when I say secret I mean secret to Tom. I know if I told him I was seeing someone he will go into all protective mode. It always annoys the shit out of me.

“What’s got you smiling?” he asked, I looked up I didn’t even realize they cut

“Oh, this pathetic excuse of an article Jackson sent me” I said giggling

“So what are we doing tonight?”

“Huh?” I asked

“You said you couldn’t help Suri tonight because we had plans, I didn’t realize we did”

“No… I said I had plans”

“You have plans?” he asked

“Yeah, isn’t that strange? I have a life outside of you”

“So what are Your plans?” he asked

“My plans are none of your business” I said, he smirked

“I’ll figure out your plans”

“What?”

“By refusing to tell me, you have given me a challenge… I’ll figure it out”

“You’re an idiot, go back to set” he kissed my cheek

“I’ll figure it out” he said walking off, I bit my lip and gently touched where he kissed me… even though we kissed each other on the cheek very often it always made me want to blush whenever he kissed mine. I walked closer to the set, and watched Tom. He is an incredible actor, and no matter how hard I try I can’t help but fall in love with him over and over again. It might sound strange but I have loved him since I was 17, the moment I locked eyes with him… I was done for

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

20 years ago

I am sitting reading my book for English class, as always I am drawn in by the beautiful literature before me. Shakespeare is my favorite author… so far, I know as I get older I will be exposed to more and more authors that are equally as good… maybe even better.

I am currently sitting outside on the bleachers away from everyone, not one you would call popular. I keep to myself that’s how I like it, since I live in a time where liking to read is known as a loser thing to do, I just accepted that fate and stay away from everyone.

“Excuse me” I looked up and locked eyes with Tom Cruise… he’s one of the popular boys in school. I looked around trying to figure out who he was talking to. This gorgeous man can’t be talking to the weirdo who likes to read, and wears glasses.

“Me?” I asked, and he chuckled

“Yeah, I mean there’s no one else here” he said, and I blushed “Y/N, right?” he asked

“Yeah… um that’s my name” I said hesitantly

“Well, we’re in the same English class, and I forgot to write down the assignment I was hoping you could tell me what it is”

“Oh, sure. One second” I put the book down, and reached for my bag to pull out my binder

“Romeo and Juliet?” he asked “Didn’t we read this one already?” he asked

“Um yeah… but the assignment is to pick one of the Shakespeare plays and write about it, and as clique as it is, this is my favorite… I think I’ve read it 10 times” I said, I blushed and reached for my binder again and he chuckled. Great now he’s going to start making fun of me.

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon Who is already sick and pale with grief That thou her maid  art far more fair than she.” I looked at him expecting him to be looking at the book but to my surprise we was looking at me

“You know Romeo and Juliet?” I asked

“Yeah, we already read it” he said with a chuckle

“But you know it by memory” I said, he just smirked

“I may have read it a few times myself”

“You like to read?” I asked

“Why do you seem so shocked?” he asked confused

“Well… I mean… um… I’m just going to let you copy the assignment and not say anything else” I said

“Is it because I’m popular?” I shrugged my shoulders

“Well, yeah”

“Eh, it’s not all its cracked up to be… I’m not really sure how I got wrapped up with them. We really don’t have much in common”

“Well, you dating the cheer captain probably has something to do with it… and the fact you are ridiculously good looking”

“Really?” he said smirking

“Did I say that out loud?” I said, and he just kept smirking “Well, now that I just made a complete fool out of myself, I’m going to leave…” I ripped out the paper in my notebook with the assignment. “Take it, I don’t need it”

“Hey, hey… you don’t have to leave… I’m sorry for embarrassing you. It’s ok, many people tell me I’m good looking”

“Now you’re just being arrogant” I said

“Well, I think you’re very beautiful” he said, and I’m sure my heart stopped “I think your glasses are adorable, and your hair is really pretty” suddenly I got angry, this is got to be a joke. One of the popular guys coming over here to complement me?

“You’re just here to make fun of me aren’t you?” I stood up, to walk away but he grabbed my hand

“I’m not making fun of you” he said, but I couldn’t ignore the feeling running through my body as he held onto my hand “I’m not lying, I’m not an asshole”

“Why?” he laughed

“Why, do I think you’re pretty?”

“Why, are you here talking to me? I’m a nobody”

“Everybody is somebody… social status means nothing… and I like you, you seem really nice. You never give me the chance to talk to you, you always run out of class before I can reach you”

“I don’t understand why you want to get to know me”

“Because you don’t care about me”

“What?”

“You are the only person in the school who doesn’t run to my side and want to talk to me”

“So you’re making it your mission to talk to me?”

“Not a mission… I just want to talk to someone who likes things other than popularity” I looked at him confused “I like school, I love reading, history, and drama. I love it all. I want to talk to someone who also like learning things, my favorite thing to do it learn new things” I opened my mouth to speak, when Jessica appeared

“Tom” she said in her annoying voice “Tom, why are you here, you’re supposed to walk me to practice” she said

“I was just talking to Y/N… we were talking about Romeo and Juliet” she looked at me with disgust

“You sit with my boyfriend for 2 minutes, and you already infected him with your nerdiness” she said with disgust “Tom, let’s go before she turns you into a complete nerd” she said giggling

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that”

“What?” she asked him

“You can’t talk to her like that”

“Why not? She’s a loser”

“No, she’s a person like everyone else… and no one deserves to be spoken to like that”

“Tom, let’s go”

“No, I’m going to stay here and talk to my friend, you can take yourself to cheer practice”

“Tom, if you don’t walk me to cheer practice then we are done” she said

“Ok, fine” he said standing up, I sighed he was doing so well then she threatened him with a break up and he followed her. I watched as she leaned in to kiss him, but he stepped back. “Ok, fine I’m breaking up with you.”

“You’re breaking up with me, because of this loser?” she asked

“No, I’m breaking up with you, because I’m tired of you being so controlling, being a bitch to everyone… oh, you having sex with the quarter back in the locker room”

“That only happened one time” she said, wow she wasn’t even going to deny it

“I know for a fact it happened 4 times” she looked shocked “So, goodbye” he said

“You’re going to regret this Tom, no one breaks up with me” she stormed off, and he walked back over to me and sat down.

“Are you ok?” I asked

“Yeah, I honestly feel free” he said with a smile

“So, what do you say… you wanna be my friend? I know for a fact she’s going to turn the whole school against me… I need someone on my side” he said with a chuckle. I smiled

“Sure”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I looked at myself in the mirror, putting the finishing touches on my makeup getting ready for my date.

“So I guess you going to the spa is not your plans for the night” I jumped

“Tom, you can’t just walk in here” I said

“It’s my house” he said

“Yeah, but this is my room. Which I pay you rent for” he rolled his eyes

“Please, that money you give me every month goes into your next paycheck… I would never let you pay me to live here” I groaned

“What, do you want?”

“Where are you going?” he asked, I pushed past him and went downstairs to get my purse

“Tom, you don’t need to know everything I do” I said as he followed behind me

“I don’t need to know, but as your best friend I want to know” I sighed he is never going to give this up

“I’m going on a date” he gave me a blank stare, after a few seconds he finally said “anyone I know?”

“No.”

“How, did you meet?”

“Through a friend” I said

“What’s his name?”

“David”

“David…”

“You don’t get his last name, because I know you’re going to do a back ground check and tell me all the reasons I can’t date him” he looked shocked

“No, I…”

“Tom, you’ve done that for every guy I have ever dated. Trust me, we’ve been seeing each other for a few months… he’s a nice guy” I said with a smile

“I just worry about you, You and Suri are the most important people in my life. If anything happened to you…”

“Tom, I’m going to be fine… now go help Suri study. I’ll see you later” I said walking out the door.

“Wait” I turned around

“He’s um… he’s a lucky guy, you look beautiful” he said. I walked over and kissed his cheek

“Thank you for not being over bearing about this” I said

“Go have fun” he said with a fake smile.  as I reached the door, I heard “Just be careful, and be sure he treats you with the respect you deserve”

“I will” I turned around to look at him, but he was already headed up the stairs. David a really nice guy, and I really like him… but why am I so heart broken? When will I stop loving Tom?

So what did you think? 

Next Chapter will talk more about Tom’s upcoming divorce.

@luckyladycreator2 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @blue-aconite @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @peaches-1999 @callsign-blue @dempy @roostersforevergirl @allivingstone01 @harper1666 

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | chapter two

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)

word count: 3.4K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est

Chapter Two | Masterlist

She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.

Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.

Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.

She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.

All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.

She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.

But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.

He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”

He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”

She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”

He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.

She doesn’t accept it just yet.

It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.

“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”

He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.

Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”

“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”

Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”

She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”

Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.

It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.

“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”

“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.

She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”

“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.

“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”

“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”

“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”

“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”

“Yes please,” she smiles.

“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”

“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.

—

They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.

Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.

For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.

He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.

He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.

They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.

“How many gifts is this now?”

“We’re at 5 out of 24.”

She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”

“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.

“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.

The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.

“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”

“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.

“He lets her choose,” he whispers.

“He rescues her,” she corrects him.

“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.

It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”

“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.

“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”

“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.

“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”

She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”

“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”

She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”

“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”

“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.

“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”

She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”

He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”

“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.

As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”

He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…

“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.

“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”

With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.

“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”

“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.

“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”

He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”

She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”

He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”

He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.

She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.

“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”

He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”

“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”

Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.

She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.

“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.

“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”

“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.

“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”

“Daddy’s girl.”

He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.

She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.

He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”

“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.

“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”

For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.

“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”

“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.

She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”

“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.

“Only if you let me wash the front too?”

She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.

Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.

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[firewoodfigs]

on work and life 

Work has been unbelievably tiring. I’ve literally been feeling so sapped after every work day for the past couple of weeks; even brushing my teeth and doing my nighttime skincare feels like the olympics or something lol. More specifically the hygiene olympics... On that note I need to book a dental appointment asap because my wisdom tooth has been giving me a massive headache. I’ve been putting it off for forever because I hate dentists just about as much as I abhor cockroaches and cheese. They’re all disgusting to me and they all smell repulsive. (yes, I hate cheese... unless it’s on pizza, in which case it’s somewhat bearable hahahaha) 

I’ve also been feeling really demoralised at work the past couple of weeks -- to give some context I just recently got rotated to another seat, and while everyone has been super nice and welcoming I’ve been feeling like a blithering idiot lmao. (I’ve got four seats in total to do and while I was initially hoping for an overseas secondment for my final seat in September I’m not particularly keen on having to endure a 6-month-ldr. Not to mention I have a distinctively asian face...) The learning curve is really steep because whatever I’m doing here is completely unrelated to whatever I learnt in school lol and it’s just full of very specific, technical terms that I’m just plain unacquainted with. I haven’t felt this dumb since year two of law school when I was taking equity & trusts under this professor who I’ve come to dub in my head as the Martian - he’s a really nice dude but he speaks like a british lord and is simply too intelligent and erudite for the human race i.e. lesser beings like yours truly. 

On the bright side(s), though, I finally finished this piece of advice that’s been bogging me down for the entirety of last week! It’s probably an awful draft but I’m just so happy to finally get it out of the way. Hopefully the fog in my head clears soon - I’ve been averaging 7-8 hours of sleep but I’m starting to really feel the mental toll. It feels like I’m sitting for multiple exams a day with multiple distractions, but one step at a time I guess :’) 

I’m also incredibly blessed to have such a sweet coworker / senior looking out for me. Honestly I felt pretty bad because I felt like I was just dead weight and burdening her with a whole string of inane questions, but she’s been so encouraging and patient throughout my time here (I call her a ‘frighteningly competent sweetheart’) and I’ve genuinely learnt so much from her. She literally spent an hour walking me through the structure of that dreaded piece of advice, and yesterday when I was rushing it out she was like, call me if you have any questions, okay? Or actually, just call me if you need to cry or commiserate or whatever too! And I was like :’) I count myself blessed to meet angels like her in an industry notorious for its ruthless sharks and long, miserable hours e.g. it’s ‘early’ for my bf to get off at 10pm without having to work when he gets back home. 

Speaking of my bf - we’ve been heading back to the office more now that restrictions are loosening, and my absolute favourite thing about heading in is getting to have lunch/dinner with him and our friends and/or heading back home together. We don’t work in the same firm, but our offices are pretty close to each other, so sometimes we’ll head back home together after a late, dreary night, and he’s just... such a sweet, gentle soul. I want nothing more than for him to be well and safe and warm and happy, and it warms my heart immensely when I get to do that for him. (enoughsimpingfrommeeeee) 

I’m also really, really thankful for friends who’ve been so supportive throughout this journey. Honestly my social circles have shrunk drastically since COVID, and my social energy has been so low lmao. I used to be able to go out for the entire day and meet different groups / individuals but nowadays I’m just itching for a nap after two hours of being outside AHAHAHA. It really helps though to have friends to commiserate with and to be vulnerable with (the latter of which I’ve always been pretty bad at doing). I’m starting to realise just how hard it is to maintain interpersonal relationships with age - with our slew of commitments and constant fatigue it can be a real challenge to sustain conversation or even keep up an interest in others’ lives, but the long hours are honestly so much more bearable when you’ve got people to suffer and take breaks and grumble with :’) 

on music and writing 

I haven’t had the time or energy to do much writing the past week, unfortunately, though I did manage to hop back onto some old drafts of a few fics (that might’ve looked like they were abandoned / on indefinite hiatus but!!! I will keep trying and writing!!!). I just... cringe hard at myself every time I’m forced to revisit my old writing, although my bf has been super supportive and optimistic about this (he says it’s a sign that I’ve improved, and I’d like to think that I have, even if marginally, but tbh sometimes it’s hard to discern what’s good writing and what’s not when it comes to my own because I’m simply my worst critic lol). I’m hoping to get a bit more downtime this weekend, and I’m planning to go for a walk around the reservoir later in search of an ever-elusive glimmer of *inspiration*!!!  I’ve honestly been feeling so uninspired lately and have just been working on things that were half-written and/or put on the back-burner, but :( we’ll see. I think part of it also stems from the fear of rejection - my art means so much to me because it’s a piece of my heart laid bare on paper for the world to see, and it’s difficult to not take any form of rejection personally. Someone once told me I have to learn how to delink the art from validation in order to better enjoy the process, but I’m still trying to figure out and detach myself from the incessant need for approval tbh. 

(On a related note... I’m still anxiously waiting for the results of this one poetry submission. I don’t have a good feeling about it lmao but we’ll see!) 

re: music, I’m hoping to record this song that I wrote for my bf a few months ago sometime next week since it’s his birthday soon (!!!) :) I initially intended for it to be an anniversary gift, but I somehow never got round to recording it because (i) I felt the lyrics were so corny, albeit confessional lol (ii) I struggled with the bridge for a really long time because unlike Dr. Swift, I’m no engineer/architect :(  but hopefully it’ll turn out well! I ditched the original chorus (which was more ballad-like) into something much more upbeat, because my bf is a sucker for catchy tunes with memorable hooks hahaha. Me, I just like evermore... (and every album in Dr. Swift’s discography...) 

that concludes my pithy attempts at journaling!! I’m gonna make myself some tea and get ready for another day of work, and hopefully get some time to myself to decompress in the evening. 

I hope you’re all having a lovely week!! I promise I’ll reply to comments and messages once I have the time :) Thank you so much to everyone who’s reached out, it means the world to me and I am so immeasurably grateful for each and every kind word <3