#I've been thinking of maybe doing one of those WIP ask games sometime soon to give people a taste of what's on deck

[kindahoping4forever]

anything new coming soon? 👀

Hopefully! I'm not sure exactly what tbh - I've been trying to be a little generous with myself recently and write based on what I feel like writing as opposed to what I "need to" or "should" work on. Which is great for my creativity but also means a lot of bouncing from project to project and also honestly scrapping a couple WIPs recently that I decided weren't going to pan out.

I can tell you I'm determined to follow thru on my promise of Luke fic this year. (I still intend to finish the post-show one I teased last summer but I've been working on a new one that may or may not see the light of day depending on how it turns out lmao). I'd still like to write the idea I had for a 5SOS5 release week fic, as a nice companion to my CALM and Superbloom release centric stories. The PolyCashton chaptered series I've been writing for literal years needs to happen this year. There's a long lost Gardener Ash storyline I'd love to revive. No one's asked explicitly for more Stage!Ash adventures but I love that couple so it's a possibility. I plotted out my first true AU last year and I'd like to see if I could pull that concept. I've also had ambitions the past couple years of entering the slash arena so we'll see if 2023 is finally the year. (Although full disclosure, one of my recently scrapped WIPs was a slash fic 🥸) And obviously I'd love to take any and every opportunity I can to collab with @cal-puddies - for personal reasons, we had to back off of a lot of good ideas last year but I'm hopeful we'll be able to pick up where we left off.

So short answer: yes, I'm actively writing and as soon as I have something I feel confident in sharing, you guys will be the first to know! 💙

[safe-from-sharp-teeth]

Ayo! I haven't answered asks in FOREVER, so it's time for some spring cleaning :) Also answering other stuff, like what I've been up to.

If you sent an ask and it's not here, sorry! I may have deleted it because the prompt required too much work of me and I wasn't feeling it, or I was uncomfortable.

Let's gooooo !

Firstly - where have I been? Work REALLY picked up in a way I wasn't expecting over the last...4 months? I was working double and often triple the hours I was used to. With work, vacations, random illnesses, and many video games I got a bit too obsessed with, this blog took a backseat. Plus, sometimes I get disinterested in vore when obsessed with something else. Sometimes, that lasts months, and it did this time.

But now I can confirm that work will FINALLY chill for a long period of time. I'm free! And more motivated than ever! Wahoo! Thanks for your support ALWAYS.

Next big question - when am I going to do more of my story? The one with Asyr? AHHHHHGHHGHH this story has consumed my life. I think about it daily. I dream about it. And yet I'm not as comfortable writing as I am drawing, so writing is a slow process that my perfectionist ass struggles with. I can assure you that there is a story in the works - and I am working on it at a snail's pace.

Okay, ask time...

@ponyluvesonic09 AYO maybe I'll make a full ghost pred pros/con list for you, because that sounds awesome! Kir//by is one of the silliest canon preds out there. Honestly getting eaten by him would be like getting vored by a vacuum, LOL. Galaxy tummy!! Imagine a prey floating around in one of those item bubbles all grumpy. Thank u for the ask, this is good stuff.

no. ( /・・)ノ

UWAGHHHHH I LIKE HER!!! Never played O/verwat/ch but what a gem!! I have a random fondness for centaur-like preds nowadays. She looks so cozy. THANK U I LOVE HER!!!

@tiger9o0 I have not played r//ain w//orld or know what it's about, LOL. Looks like a platformer? Man, I'm terrrriiiiibblleee at those. But whoever this is on the cover, I LIKE EM. A+. (That might not answer ur question shdjbghkjg SORRY)

@heimkoheimkofan LOVE THAT I GOT THE ROBOT ENJOYERS AFTER THAT ONE POST....YES yall are so right and I'm so wrong for just hard metal robot tums. I will rectify my mistake soon I PROMISE. Also oh! You were the one asking about stomachs other than elemental ones! IVE HAD THAT IN MY DRAFTS FOREVER IM SORRY AHHHH. I REALLY love your imagination with tums and you've inspired me to think of some awesome environments! THANKS

@fastfur07 BWAH?? Ugh I'm all over the place when it comes to art. Some pieces take 30 min (like the zangooc I drew at the top of this post), most take 2 days. Some really hard drawings like my wolf bat creechur from a few months ago and my shrimp from last year took a month. THANK U??

We're going back so far that I think this is about my naga oc (which I'm in the midst of redesigning cough cough). For him, he would never tolerate being prey, extremely unwilling bahaha. In general, I haven't thought much about naga or snake prey! I get the appeal of slurping up a noodle, but I just prefer human prey :)

@fastfur07 you fiend, you always give me the best drawing ideas. UNFORTUNATELY, I didn't have time to draw something for this one. BUTTTT....

(i've had this next one in my drafts for forever)

then i had a silly comic. I'll post the wip here because I won't finish it, so enjoy bahaha.

@blizzaria123-blog THANK U im rapidly melting into a puddle from ur words

@mrpotatomanversionsix relevant. i will continue drawing them 4 u

?!??!!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!? how dare u enter my ask box with this blasphemy

@sfwsillynoms WAH!!! you!!! I'm currently redesigning my naga oc but when I finish I'll tag you, if you're still around! And he can 100% be drawn with ur preysona :)

@mystorl i am SO late to this, but SMART. I like it. I shall give my lil guy this friend. I just want to let u know that I see this and it's wonderful and I will do something abt it.

I remember this ask made me laugh a ton when I first got it. thank u. idk why I find this so funny

@sillylilprey IM CRYING RIGHT BACK AHHHH this is an ancient ask, but thank u! hope you're still enjoying!

@terrytheinsane finally, the last ask in my askbox. I love it. You have been wronged with how long it took me to answer you. I have gained knowledge from your ask. THANKS

AND THAT'S IT!! Thanks guys, I hope to make you proud! Feel free to send more asks, and hopefully I will answer in a TIMELY manner.

Goodnight! And remember: Nice Vore ᕕ༼��■-■༽ᕗ

[grxceful-ly]

Hello there! I hope you're doing good!

19, 21 and 29 for the Fanfic Writers Ask Game!

hii thank you so much for sending me an ask!! i hope you're doing really well yourself. you picked some good ones and this got kinda long, i'm sorry 🙇🏻‍♀️

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

i'm going to take this opportunity to say that something in me does not allow me to fulfill all the multichapter, long fics of my dreams so i mostly share oneshots. i wish i could be like "this is from my [insert title here] au from chapter 14!!" or something. but alas. anyway, this is from my wip sequel to the sabezra secret relationship i wrote a while back. it's almost done, i'm excited to share the full thing soon!

Maybe the Ezra Bridger who wasn’t in a relationship with Sabine wouldn’t have said that. Maybe he would’ve been a little giddy—like, wow! Sabine is actually touching me! And isn’t completely averse to it! Maybe he should have said something like that. Or just. . .smiled? Or hugged her back? Sabine still wasn’t letting go. His heart ached a little. He let his arms come around her loosely, his gaze stuck to the floor. “So. . .” he started. But nothing else came out. 

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

yes and no. i don't think i've ever had to delete an entire scene--usually i will spend a lot of time writing a scene or two and i hate it a little more than usual so i end up losing motivation for the entire project. this happens often. i don't like it.

however, sometimes i'll write a line i really like but in my heart i know it won't work for the overall goal of the paragraph or scene, so i have to delete it :( i mourn for like three minutes and then move on lol.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

goodness, the amount of star wars time travel fix-it fics i've written in my mind. that's kind of where they stay. but occasionally i jot down a scene that has a chokehold on me until it goes away. i was going to share an anakin one, but for some reason i can't find my doc with that in it :') so you get this scene from my vostress wip where asajj goes back in time. this is kind of a cheat bc i don't know if it'll NEVER be posted, but as of now too little of it is written to share much more than these snippets. also there's very little interest in a fic like this versus my usual stuff lol.

Her eyes softened. “It is more important to reject that power and preserve those things. Understand me, Vos. Truly. There is no power that can take away the pain you feel. No power that is worth it for a fleeting sense of victory.” She realized she'd put a hand to his chest, naturally drawn closer as she tried not to plead with him. This was it. If he should ever listen to her, let it be now.

and for a bonus, here's an 'asajj takes omega to meet quinlan' snippet that was just for fun and will never again see the light of day lol!

“Your jedi?” Omega asked, eyes lighting up, glancing from one of them to the other. Vos flashed a lopsided smile at Ventress. “I love when she calls me that,” he said in that smooth, unserious but oh-so-truthful voice of his. Ventress's eyes slid to him, then went up to the sky in feigned annoyance as her hand fell to her side and she swiveled to walk away. “Come on.” Unfortunately, Vos and Omega were making quick friends. He was the type to do so; always had been, and it seemed she, too, was eager to befriend anyone she set her sights on. A horrifying pair.

[galadrieljones]

WIP ask game: 👻 and 🍎

Thank you for the ask, my love! ^_^

👻 ghost: can you tease some wip ideas that have been haunting you/something you want to write in the future?

Hmm, yes I do have dreams. I think usually, however, my writing is like, totally spastic. I write whatever I'm feeling in the moment, which is actually why I have so many unfinished fics. If I let something fester too long without ending it, the odds keep going up that my focus will stray and suddenly I'll be eyeballing something else lol.

I would really like to finish my bethyl fic afterglow as I was really dead set on finishing that one. I literally have maybe one or *possibly* two more chapters to write. It's not off the table. The problem is I'm now completely consumed with Team Delulu and all of our current escapades and adventures 😂

With my Dragon Age stuff, a lot of my old Solas and Arlathan lore is quickly finding its expiration date lmfao because there is now a new game in which we will see actual backstory and canon events from what happened in Arlathan. I'm not saying this means that canon divergence becomes invalid, but I think it would lack an interested audience, so idk if it will ever happen, but I have always wanted to write some about the events of Solas's life during the Great War, and his rebellion, and his love story with Mythal, via my canon for The Dead Season. Like the events that happened after Solas's teenage years in Teen Wolf and before he made the Veil. I love all those characters a lot, like Solas and Abelas and Mythal and Solas's mother Leanathy as I've written them. I would probably possibly have like three dedicated readers on this and maybe that's all I need lol. Anyway, my hands are full at the moment but never say never!

🍎 apple: let’s talk about friendship in your wip. do you have any favorite friend/platonic dynamics? any friendships gone sour?

In my current most active wip, which is Riptide for Dragon Age/Solavellan, there are lots and lots of friendships which are going through all sorts of dynamic changes due to Sene's volatile state of mind. Sene's most important friendships are with Sera and Dorian, both of whom are very present in the story and who are constantly trying to find the balance between comforting Sene in her time of need but also making sure not to coddle her obsessions and her intense denial. They are trying to get her head on straight, and she knows this and loves them for it, but sometimes, it's too much, so she runs away and hides to nurse her wounds alone. In my fic, I've also done some development of a friendship between Abelas and Thom Rainier, as well as Solas and Cole. Cole is pretty much the only person that Solas can open up to while he's sequestered at the Lighthouse, at least until Sene starts letting him into her dreams again, which is happening soon. The only friendship in Riptide that has seemingly soured is that between Solas and Abelas, though I have only explored that indirectly so far...

October-themed Writeblr Asks ❤️

[citrus-cactus]

fanfic ask game! 1, 3, 22, 55, 77!

Ask game is here!

1). Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I tend to daydream a lot! I think that's a large part of my "outline" process these days: sooooo much thinking before committing anything to paper (which is not the best process, I'll admit! Because sometimes I end up forgetting things ;_;)

It used to be that a lot of my fanfic ideas were born out of pencil and paper sketches while letting my mind wander, which feels similar to the "daydream" process (and then I would brainstorm while drawing!)... but these days I don't do a lot of freeform drawing (;_;) and the brainstorming takes place almost exclusively in my head. Sometimes I'll have snippets and dialogue occur to me that need documentation NOW, so that feels more like a "when the idea strikes" sort of thing... and then when I've collected enough snippets/dialogue and have enough of a general idea where the fic is going to go, that's when I start writing in earnest!

3). Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

I tend to keep them to myself. I've been... trying to get better about this... maybe?? That was what last year's fic/WIP summary and the creative check-ins and some of my random, sporadic posts over the past few months have (partially) been about. But now that I look at them... I'm not sure it's clear to anyone but myself what the heck I'm working on?? I would like to get better at this, perhaps?? Summaries are good (lol), but I usually save those for last!

I think, because I publish fics so infrequently (and have WAY more abandoned ideas and WIPs than actual published works!), I default to being pretty secretive about my ideas. Mostly because I don't want to jinx myself with the inability to finish something; if no one knows about it but me, no one can be disappointed!! But also, since I almost exclusively write short one-shots, the element of surprise feels, somehow, important to preserve up until the moment of publishing. I'm not sure how to balance the two wolves inside me ("excited to share" and "SECRETS!!")

22). Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Usually during. A lot of my titles seem to crystalize during the daydream/brainstorming process... though again, sometimes I don't want to reveal the title until the fic is further along, in case I end up changing my mind! Sometimes it does take me a little longer to figure it out, but not often. I guess how I come up with them is... I figure out the theme of the story, and think of a way to make it work as a title? ("Rose-Tinted" is my favorite recent example. Because yes, it's about a pair of pink-colored sunglasses, but ultimately it's about looking at a situation through a more optimistic lens!)

Sometimes I'll try to be clever and make the title a literary reference. I've repurposed lines from Sherlock Holmes, Brigadoon (the musical), and, most recently, Sophocles' Antigone. Because whoa boy, do I love themes. And allusions!!!! And parallels!!!!!!

55). Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

What an interesting question! I think, as generic of an answer as this is, my stories all end up being about love. This takes many forms: romantic (this used to be a huge theme, at least earlier on in my fanfic career!), but also platonic, the "soulmate" bond between human and digimon partners, and also (sometimes) unhealthy expressions of love. Also they can be born from things I personally love, like hats and in-jokes for very small audiences :3

My published fics tend to be either fairly fluffy(/goofy/jokey), or a bit dark. There's very little "neutral" up in here, though I do enjoy writing Emotions(tm).

I do enjoy ending a fic on a good stinger. I love me a juicy... just a teeny-tiny surprise, subversion, twist, or echo, wrapping it all up with an impactful little... pop. Absolutely delightful when it feels like I can pull that off. I live for that.

77). Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

I enjoy writing fiction because sometimes I have ideas that feel too large or complex to convey in a single illustration or a short comic. I enjoy writing fanfiction because other people's characters, stories, and ideas have become lodged in my brain and I am (occasionally) compelled to work through my feelings about them in prose XD I love writing (and reading!) things that are having a dialogue with canon, filling in nebulous details, expanding on characterization, having a fun day out with my faves, or otherwise taking some dumb/brilliant/random idea (either mine or someone else's) and running with it to a logical conclusion (by some definition of the word "logical"). My favorite thing to do as both a creator and a fan, whether in art or writing, has always been to tell stories… and I genuinely don't know where I’d be if I wasn't able to do that!

These were fun to think about, thanks for the asks!!!

[jazzythursday]

hi hi for the fic ask game hmmm 1, 20, 35, 48, and 74! <3

ahhh friend! Hi Sparrow!!!

1) Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I just answered this one in another ask, so I’ll paste in what I wrote for that here ;3

So much. So so much. I come up with so many little bits and moments for fics to find places for later. Usually they end up in bullet pointed lists that eventually make sense. Sometimes I spend weeks just jotting down random ideas or lines of dialogue before I try to write a single paragraph. Other times I go straight in with no outline or planning though, and those fics always feel particularly raw to me because they came straight out of my feelings in the moment.

20) Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

I want to get into writing AU fic, but for now all my posted works are canon. AUs kind of terrify me to be honest. I also just... don't get that many ideas for AUs. So much of how I see my favourite characters is rooted in their canon backstories, so taking them out of it has never been something I've been that interested in. Maybe once I exhaust myself of filler scenes and canon continuations I'll catch the AU bug, but for now I have waaaay too many ideas that are set in canon.

.....That being said, I still think about the sun summoner!Jesper au I wrote the first chapter draft of pretty often.....

35) What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

This should come as no surprise to anyone, but it’s Everyday, Just a Little or a Little Bit (shamlessly plugging it again here lol) It’s the first fic I started for soc/wesper and the last fic I finished, and definitely the one I’d recommend highest!

48) Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

Again, no surprises here---it's Wylan!

The funny thing is that just yesterday I was ranting about how much I miss writing from Wylan's pov. Because I really miss it. The last few things I’ve worked on have all been from Jesper’s, and then I randomly went back to work on a Wylan wip and realised that it was sooo much easier to connect emotionally and know what I wanted to say. Wylan's has been my go to from the get go (woah, that's a mouthfull), but I don't think I clocked how much I was struggling until then.

(It’s getting to the point where I considered trying to pre-write Wylan’s pov of a scene just to figure out where it was going so I can put it in Jesper’s. Which is crazy, and probably not worth it, but it's where we are  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Another thing I noticed is that a lot of writing I do for Jesper inevitably ends up being about Wylan (to be fair, a pretty large amount of my Wylan povs are about Jesper too) or else they rely heavily on dialogue, whereas my Wylan povs get paragraphs and paragraphs of inner monologue and thought, which doesn’t come as naturally to me for Jesper.

74) Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

hmmmm... Familiar Strangers is my least popular wesper fic, so maybe that one. I get why it might have been a harder sell since it's pre-relationship and unresolved, but I do really like it as a little peek into Jesper's head between ep 1 and 2.

Also, not wesper (gasp!) but Homewards, to Land is a Good Omens fic I wrote few years ago that I reread the other day and really liked. I just went back and added a few lines/fixed some typos, so if anyone wants to go show some love to it, I'd definally apreciate it!

Thanks for the questions! <3

[acacia-may]

Can I ask questions 4, 18, 21, and 46?

Hi there, Anon-friend! Thank you so much for the ask and for playing the fic writer's ask game!

I've answered your questions below the cut. 😊 Cheers!! 💕

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Gosh I wish I knew lol. Sometimes they are just completely random, but I would say most of the time they stem from conversations I have whether online or irl and wanting to bring some of those great discussion points to life. Most of my Black Clover fanfictions for instance, were heavily inspired by the deep discussions a friend of mine irl and I would have as we were binging the series together. The wip I have currently been working on was heavily inspired by some silly headcanons about OMORI characters watching Friends (which was a huge cultural phenomenon in the 90s and early 2000s when the game takes place). 😅

Another big inspiration for me is music. I write stories inspired by songs all the time.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

It really depends on the story and the type of title. For my most recent fanfiction "A Ceiling Made of Stars" I picked the title long before I even started writing the story and ended up incorporating the phrase into the prose. Other titles I choose based on a line from the story that sticks out to me while I'm drafting it (i.e. "Beside Every Closed Door Is An Open Window," "For What It's Worth," & "We Make Our Own Destiny").

Some titles are from song titles or lines from songs that inspired the story, and these are either chosen before writing (i.e. "Maybe My Soulmate Died") or afterwards (i.e. "Am I Ready For Love? Or Maybe Just A Best Friend"). Then there are some that are titled from a line in the work that was also inspired by music (i.e. "I Can Hear Music," "A World Without You," & "Tackle The Monsters") and those tend to be chosen as soon as that particular line is written.

I'll admit I was kind of curious of the breakout so I went to my AO3 and here's my top 3 types of fic titles ranked first, second, and third based on frequency:

1st: Related to the story and/or a line in the story (Serious)

2nd: From the title of a song or the line of a song

3rd: Related to the story and/or a line in the story (Cheeky/Joking Titles)

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

Absolutely! I have had the pleasure to collaborate with other writers before, and I always try to give credit for inspiration where it is due. Most of these collaborations were/are just swapping ideas, headcanons, or proofreading works, but I have tried co-authoring before which has also been fun. Most of these co-authoring projects were written with my irl friends (years ago when I wasn't putting my writing online), and the few co-authoring projects I've written with my online friends/other online fic writers which could conceivably have been posted have never really come to fruition enough to be posted, unfortunately. That said, the lovely @randomsprinkles and I have collaborated on a couple projects that have actually made it to AO3, but we don't co-author in the traditional sense: she does the art (and/or helps with worldbuilding and editing, occasionally dialogue) and I do the writing! 😊

It's actually kind of funny you asked this question, Anon-friend, because I was just laughing with someone irl about my first ever co-authored fic. Back when I was in high school, one of my best friends and I thought it would be fun to make up an OC and write a fic for a certain comicbook fandom I haven't thought about in years. The problem was that my friend wanted her to end up with one canon character and I wanted her to end up with a different canon character (and our individual chapters absolutely reflected that lol). Needless to say it was an absolute hot mess and never finished (and thankfully never published anywhere. I don't even think I have a copy of it anymore). So my big piece of writing advice for all collaborations is pick your ships early and make sure you agree on them! 😉

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

Character driven 100%--though sometimes emotion driven in so far as the emotions relate to the characters. I am and always have been a character-driven reader/watcher/media consumer, so that's something I always really try to focus on in my own writing. I struggle a lot when I'm responsible to moving a whole plot along (probably one of the main reasons I don't usually like writing multi-chapter fics).

[radellama]

Heya! Sorry to dip, things went crazy. Anyways.

👻🐌💥 for the writing asks if you are still doing those, thanks!

Haha you're all good! Hope you've been well!

👻 Is there a new genre you'd like to write?

Ohhhh, definitely! Since studying film theory for the past couple years (and thinking more broadly in narrative as a whole) I'm really fascinated by genre and the tropes expected from them. I write a lot of angst, and I'm usually writing sci-fi/fantasy/drama/slice of life style things, and I'd like to try every genre ever if I'm being honest LMAO.

What fascinates me most, though, is the way you can blend genres. Like, you know how action/adventure or sci-fi/thriller can just go hand in hand sometimes? I wanna try out various blends or even try to see if it's possible to make new blends/create something decent in a blend that 'doesn't work,' I just wanna try out all the stuff and push the boundaries, for both my fic and original works. Know the rules to break them yknow?

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?

Make notes!! And I've already kinda succeeded haha.

I noticed when I was writing my hylink fic all the way back when, when I inevitably got busy with life I just couldn't access the same headspace anymore and had to drop the fic, even though I didn't want to. I'm still talking and thinking about it all these years later (and I'd love to restart and eventually complete it in future!) But it taught me that I need to make really solid notes so that I can plot everything to my standards and access that same headspace no matter how much time has passed- cause turns out! I'm really slow and nitpicky!

Some of my fics are 5+ years in the making at this point, and cause I like to let things marinate in my head for ages, making notes for stories and actually going more in depth with them so it's easier to draft later is so important to me these days. That's why, that'll be my little goal >:)

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

Ahhh man.. all of my fics/original stories??

For now, since I've been talking a bit about it with some friends, he's a snippet of a possible introduction for my most recent OCs/original story, Abe and Orc.

[Also wanna preface this and say it's suuuuuuuper work in progress, and I'm not sure I want to write it write it, as I think it might do best in a visual medium like a web comic haha]

~~~

He tossed some game to the bushes near the orc's campfire, staying hidden up in the trees. He watched with a keen eye as the orc investigated the sound, finding the animal carcass and brushing the dirt off of it.

"Thank you." He called out, to no one in particular.

Abe didn't respond, just looked over him.

He watched as he tried to gut the hare, not doing a very good job it of it. Maybe it was due to the sheer size of this orc, with his huge knife and even huger hands, but he was making a right mess of it.

Abe groaned to himself, before jumping down from the trees and making himself known.

Abe pointed his knife at the orc, gauging his reaction. The orc stayed still in shock, sheepishly raising his hands in surrender and placing his knife down.

Rolling his eyes, Abe stomped over to the stone where the dead hare laid, and started to gut and skin it properly for the orc.

He worked fast, expertly preparing the meat in the firelight while the orc watched in fascination. Neither of them said a word, but Abe would keep a cautious eye on the orc while he worked.

As soon as he was done, he ran off into the trees, ignoring the orc as he tried to shout his thanks.

The orc carefully began cutting the meat, and skewering it on some sticks to roast on the fire. He was thankful for the kind stranger, this was this third day on whatever berries and plants he could find, and it simply wasn't enough for him to keep going. Some meat, however small, meant a lot to him.

---

In the distance, down by the river, he saw that kind stranger. Excited, he ran down to the riverbank to talk to him.

As soon as he heard the ground shake with each step the orc took, Abe panicked and reached for his knife. He didn't have time to recognise that it was the same orc from before, only registering a large being bounding right towards him.

He quickly slashed the orc, cutting right across his forearm. As he recoiled in pain, Abe used the time to quickly climb a nearby tree and gain his bearings.

"Ow!!!" The orc didn't try to attack him back, didn't even turn to look for him in the trees. In fact, he didn't even try to defend himself, or protect himself from another attack.

"I just wanted to talk with you..." The orc sounded on the verge of tears.

Abe watched for a moment, before jumping out of the tree and landing behind him. He tapped the handle of his knife on the back of the orcs head.

"You're dead."

The orc instinctively reached to rub the back of his head, turning to look at the small man.

"Why did you cut me?" He whined.

"Why did you come running at me!?" Abe yelled back. When he saw the orcs lip start to quiver, he regretted saying it so harshly.

"I just wanted to thank you. For the meat."

Abe stayed still, unsure if he'd heard right. Not once had he ever heard of an orc that cared enough to use manners like this...

He began to pick up the remains of his clothes by the riverside and walk off into the forest, but before he could disappear, the orc called out to him.

"How can I thank you!?"

Abe ignored him, and walked away.

To his dismay, Abe heard the orc follow behind him as he walked further into the forest. He glanced over his shoulder, and sure enough, the orc was a few footsteps behind. He picked up the pace, weaving through the trees in the hopes that he'd lose the orc, but he was always right behind him when he turned to look.

"Why are you following me!?" Abe spat angrily.

"I want to thank you!" The orc growled back at him.

Abe stopped running, and turned to face the orc.

"I fed you, and I've cut you. Now don't bother me!"

The two of them stared each other down, neither willing to budge. Abe wasn't willing to back down, not caring that he was barely half the height of this orc- He could, and would fight.

But then he noticed that the orc was still cradling his arm, blood dripping between the fingers that gripped the wound.

Abe sighed. "You're going to get an infection if you hold it like that."

The orc looked down at the wound, removing his hand to see the bloodied mess. He couldn't even see where the gash was amongst the blood the seemed to cover his entire forearm.

"How do I clean it?" The orc asked.

Abe waited to see if the orc was joking, but he was genuine. Blood continued to drip from his arm, and Abe just groaned and led the way back to the river. The orc followed closely behind him, kneeling down by the riverside when the man gestured for him to.

He watched curiously as the Abe washed his hands in the water before grabbing his arm and submerging it in the river. He rinsed the blood away and pulled his arm out, quickly slapping some leaves on the open wound.

The orc gasped in pain as the leaves touched his skin, but the human held his arm still between his knees to continue applying the leaves.

"It stings!" The orc complained, but Abe ignored him.

He watched with a grimace as the human finished with the leaf dressing, and reached out to cut some river weed. He used it to tie the leaves to his wound securely, and walked away to put a few steps of distance between them.

The orc looked his arm in awe, it was so simple and resourceful, and even the stinging was starting to subside.

"Thank you."

Abe grunted. "Don't come running at a man while he's trying to bathe next time."

"Sorry..."

The orc watched the as he grabbed his shirt and shook it, quickly turning his head when he realised he was trying to get dressed.

Abe saw him trying to give him privacy, and waited to see what he'd do. The orc just sat with his head turned to watch the river, once again leaving himself fully open. Why this orc trusted him so much was a mystery to Abe, but he had to admit that he was intrigued by the strange behaviour.

"What's your deal?" Abe asked, and the orc turned to look at him with a flustered expression.

"Pardon?" He asked.

"Why are you out here?" Abe asked flatly.

The orc sighed, fiddling with the hem of his skirt. He didn't answer, and Abe watched as his demeanor changed the longer he played with his skirt.

"Do you even know how to hunt?" Abe asked, rather harshly.

"No..." The orc replied, still avoiding eye contact.

Abe sat down on the riverbank and sighed a heavy sigh.

He didn't want to, but a sense of pity was creeping over him. He remembered how hard it was when he first came to the forest - he recognised that struggle with this orc.

"How long are you out here for?" Abe asked.

"Indefinitely." The orc replied solemnly.

"If I teach you to hunt, will you do everything I say?"

The orc looked up in surprise, a wide smile breaking out across his face. "You'd teach me?"

Abe shifted his gaze to avoid looking at the smile, but he could still feel how excited the orc was.

He instantly regretted offering, but it was too late to back down now. He stood up, dusting the dirt off his pants as he looked to the horizon. It would be dark soon...

"Keep up." He instructed, and headed into the forest.

The orc quickly stood up and followed closely, but this time Abe didn't bother looking to check if he was still hovering behind him. He just walked forward, twisting and turning through the forest as the sun set.

[kitkatt0430]

1, 12, 22, and 35 for the fic asks?

1.) Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I'm much more likely to daydream a lot before I start writing. Let my brain percolate on the idea for a while so it can take the form I like best. But sometimes I am possessed by the idea and must write it immediately. Which is how I ended up with many of my crack fics. Those are more likely to be 'struck with inspiration, must write them now' types fics. The more serious ones I probably daydreamed a bout a lot.

12.) Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

I think I answered this one the last time I did this game, but it's been long enough I'm gonna answer again.

So sometimes I'll outline fics. Vaguer outlines tend to help more than stricter ones as I tend to get the idea written down in a detailed outline form and then it's like I've restricted myself too much and can't write at all past that. Sometimes it does help keep me on track... but mostly I just wing it without the outline.

That said, outlines are very useful for when i have an amazing plot idea but don't want to admit I'm not gonna use it in its current form. Once I have the outline down, I can return to it later and reshape it into something that's actually usable. I've gotten fics like The City on the Hill and Just Your Average (Medical) Emergency that way.

The former of those two strayed a looot from the original idea. But at the same time still had a lot of the original concept still in there too. Where as the latter of those was actually pretty close with what I'd wanted from the start, but I was trying to force it to fit with something else - when I broke that original idea in two, I wound up with two fics that worked really well on their own. (The other being Wave Goodbye (To Plausible Deniability) ) Sometimes I just kind of have to recognize that what I thought was one fic idea is actually several.

22.) Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

I'll usually start with giving the WiP some kind of name. Not necessarily a title, but just something that represents the main idea to me.

The City on the Hill was originally a WiP called Past Imperfect, which may have worked well when it was still a part of a larger arc about the Master, but when I cut out the Master entirely and reframed it to be about Ianto, the title becoming a reference to Ianto's strange dreams fit much better.

Sometimes I'll name a fic something as a placeholder and just stick with it when it's time to post the fic. Date Night was one of those. It was a generic name, but very too the point and I certainly couldn't think of anything that fit better.

Other times I'll think the title is one thing until the last minute, when I realize something else fits so much better. I don't remember what the working title for One Last Call for Alcohol was, but I do remember I didn't much like it. I ended up taking the final title from the lyrics of "Closing Time" by Semisonic. A bit over played on the radio at one point, but a song I've always liked nonetheless. So much so I used it's lyrics to title another fic as well, Every New Beginning (Comes from Some other Beginning's End). That one I chose the name early on, since it fit the mood of the fic as well as the theme.

35.) What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

I don't know that I can pick just one. Maybe I can at least pick a favorite type of fic to write?

I certainly do like writing fics of the fix fic variety. Canon wants to hand me lemons? Then I'm gonna burn it's house down. With the lemons. (Let's get some Portal 2 love, shall we?)

But then again, I love just What If type AUs in general. What if Iris or Eddie or Cisco was the Flash? What if Yuri Lowell never saved the world? What if squirrels invaded STAR Labs? What if Finn inspired a Stormtrooper rebellion?

Sometimes saying 'what if' is a fix fic. Sometimes it's just weird. Sometimes it's turning canon upside down and ransacking it's pockets for lint. So, yeah, I think my favorite type of fic that I write is definitely the AUs.

[eruherdiriel]

For the writing ask game if you’re still doing it

🛳️ 🐌 🛏️ 💖

:-0 (writing ask game)

🛳 Are there any new ships you want to write for? (Platonic, romantic, or anything in between.) Hmm no new romantic pairings. I'm trying to center or at least emphasize Sansa and Jeyne's friendship in a couple things.

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals? This one is hard. What's a small goal, lol? Maybe just to keep writing, period? Sometimes I burn out of hobbies when they start to feel like work. I don't see that happening soon, but you never know. My job involves a lot of staring at a computer, so sometimes it's a bummer that one of my main hobbies does too.

🛏 Is there a new trope you'd like to write this year? I started a bed sharing fic quite a while ago but haven't touched it in some time. So I guess I'd like to get back and finish that maybe? Problem is it's showverse, and I got frustrated writing showverse and so all of those (unpublished) WIPs are indefinitely on hold.

💖 What is your primary writing goal for this year? Finish the fic I've already been writing for ... 11 months. I'd like to finish earlier in the year, but just finishing period, even if it takes all year, would be great 😅. But also to enjoy the process? I was thinking the other day that part of the struggle is between wanting it to be done (I'm a completionist) vs. good (my "perfectionist" [hate that word] side). Most of the writing is challenging now, which, in addition to making progress slow, makes it hard to want to open that particular document. But breakthroughs are exciting. And I have enjoyed writing it overall, even when writing actually means deleting or rewriting something that isn't working (and oh boy, has there been a lot of that. I'm learning!) I've mentioned this fic different places before; talking about it is becoming a subtle form of accountability for me, just the right amount of pressure to keep going given I write fic purely for fun.

Thanks, anon!

[punemy-spotted]

The Price You Pay

Pairing: Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Non-con/Dub-con, mentions of murder, unclear timeline, blackmail, unprotected sex, fingering (F!receiving), smut, esoteric references to past abuse, manipulation, Dark!Fic

Words: 5.2k (holy fuck?)

Summary: You need his help. He names his price.

Notes: This is for @stargazingfangirl18 and her incredible 5K Soft!Dark Challenge and I can't believe I wrote over 5k words for a oneshot, making this the longest piece I've ever written. I took a blend of prompts: Mob!AU; “When I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this;” and “That’s a big favor you’re asking for, I think you need to make it worth my while.”

And this was intended to be a oneshot but now I can't stop thinking about it so thanks Siri, I think this is now a part of my WIPs too! Your work is amazing and I had a blast being able to take part in this!

As usual, my work is 18+ ONLY, Minors DO NOT INTERACT

You went to him first.

You went to him, handed them your business card and I want to speak to Steve Rogers.

Honestly they almost threw you out with an extra hole in your head but then the man of the hour walked right in.

So now you’re here. Now you’re here, sitting across a gorgeous dining table with a ten-course meal laid out and honestly you’re surprised they didn’t tie your wrists to the arms of the chair while you watch him eat and take in the look of those baby blue eyes scanning you over.

He even brought you non-alcoholic rosé, when you said you didn’t drink.

So.

So.

You wanted to talk to me?

Yeah, I do. Thought you’d just sit me in your office, have a consultation.

I like breaking bread with new friends. Have a nice dinner, get the wine flowing — of course, that’s not gonna loosen your tongue, but we’ll forgive it.

Oh. Cool, I like being forgiven.

He laughs at that one and the room, strumming with tension, snaps into amusement. So do you, cracking a half smile on dark red lips, before swallowing down the lump of anxiety threatening to break through and destroy everything. You need this. You need this and you can’t let anything — not your nervousness, not your morals, not him — stop you. You need this and it needs to be done and if this is what justice is in this fucking city then so be it.

Well, sweetness, you’ve got my attention. You want to talk business or pleasure?

That one makes you laugh, a little sharp and a little cruel, and the curling smirk on his face gets a little furrowed because he hears it too — pain.

It could be both, you say finally, picking up the glass of rosé-that-wasn’t, if your reputation is as real as they say it is.

He lifts a bite of cheesecake into his mouth and lets it melt on his tongue while he watches you, somewhere between impressed and incensed. You know the look — you saw it the last time he met you in court, but you weren’t there as allies then. Never thought you’d come to me, he admits finally, sounding halfway bemused at the idea, but you’re full of surprises, aren’t you, Counsel?

You wince, or maybe smirk, eyes on the man before you.

It’s a game, a dance, a ruse, and the woman you thought you were thirteen months ago when you put four of Steve Rogers’s best men in jail for fifteen years — fifteen years longer than any District Attorney had ever managed to do before you, and you were just the rookie they handed a shit case to — is leagues different from the woman you are now, seated prim and proper in the lion’s den.

You’re not innocent. That’s not been your game for years — this life doesn’t leave room for innocence, it tears at you, leaves you tired and broken and ill.

Your colleagues learned to fear him a long time ago, the man before you. Captain America, leading the city, the country, the world into a new era of high tech crime all under his thumb. It’s a pretty shiny shield, the one that sits behind him, but mirrors are black on the other side and his soul is dark as coal.

You’re not an angel yourself, and this deal with the Devil isn’t for anyone but you.

I need someone taken care of.

So you come to me? I thought you were a lady of morals, Counsel.

Certain kinds of morals.

You can see him smile, see the way he raises his glass, the glimmer of malice and amusement in his eyes. So tell me. What’s the name?

You give it.

He’s not in the city, your target, but he will be. A Judge, an activist, real tough-on-crime-sweet-on-justice type of shit. You don’t tell him the reasons why, because those are yours, but you tell him the name. You tell him he’s a problem, you tell him he’s dangerous, you tell him you’ll pay to have him taken care of, you tell him you don’t want to practice in front of that black, black robe.

And he smiles like the Devil he is, watches you with a grin and drinks his whiskey in one last shot before slamming it down, Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

You said that when we met the first time.

He’s a hunter, you can see it in his eyes. That lion’s mane might be tamed right now but it won’t be for long and you’re playing with wild animals. The eyes on you are ice and daggers, daring you to do the one thing everyone in the office has been begging you not to do.

(Drop the charges, Rookie, the case is just to get your face in front of the judge.)

You upped the charges.

(Rookie, you don’t know what you’re dealing with, there’s other cases.)

You subpoenaed his phone records.

(Rookie, don’t make me drag you off this case!)

You won.

You had no witnesses and a jury you had to drag in from god-knows-where after you proved, over and over again, that he’d paid off the cohort in the courtroom. Finding people with nothing to lose and a desire to do their civic duty wasn’t harder than you thought — it was exactly as impossible as you expected.

But you did it.

That’s what you do, isn’t it? Push and push and fight, claw your fingers at the ledge and pull yourself up, you pay for your crimes in your blood, sweat and tears you pay for the things you could have done then and didn’tdo.

You pay.

And sometimes, that payment bounces back.

And when it was all said and done, when the closing statements were delivered, when the Jury came back out and the Judge — hands shaking, mouth agape, eyes wide — read out the verdict no one expected, you… didn’t feel any better, did you? There was no justice for you in that room, just the searing glare of ice-blue eyes and the burning of your steel spine.

Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

First words he said to you, while the courtroom emptied out and you stood there, facing the man you’d just made an enemy of with your briefcase in your hand and your eyes aflame.

I did my job.

Did you? Is that what you think your job is?

My job is justice, unflinching and blind, Mr. Rogers. I don’t care how much power you have or how afraid you leave this city, I’m going to do my job.

You could always let justice turn a blind eye.

Yeah. I could, but that wouldn’t make this any fun, would it? Thank you for the win, Mr. Rogers — I’m sure I won’t get many more.

You leave him with a smile on his face and the scent of your perfume in his memories.

He leaves you with the pride of victory in your bones and a reminder that your strife could be worth it.

One day.

How do you plan to fill that pit, the one you tossed the corpses of your old self into? The one you let them claw up out of, to haunt you? Remind you?

You’re digging your own grave and you know it, but you won’t let Steven Grant Rogers be the first one to toss a handful of dirt over your corpse.

But now here you are.

In his dining room, enjoying dessert and some sort of after-meal coffee. In need of him…

This might almost have been a date, if not for the topic of conversation.

So. You want a Judge taken out. What if he’s already on my payroll?

Why would you keep a dead man in your pocket?

You like the sound of his laugh, and you don’t even have the excuse of wine to fall back on when it warms your core. Don’t admit it though, don’t say it aloud, don’t let him get an in. Be smart, cross your legs tighter, keep your eyes on the prize.

You’re so close to the finish line.

That’s a big favor you’re asking for, Counsel, I think you need to make it worth my while.

Worth your while?

I’m not a charity. And since you put the guy I usually use to handle these things behind bars for a few years—

You know I can get him out too.

That’s not payment, that’s putting things right.

You take a drink. Steady on, girl.

I’m leaving the DA’s office.

That stops him.

Oh that stops him good, and he looks fascinated. Interested. You’ve said something he can use as leverage and it’s not just about a job. That smirk on his face is smug and his eyes are darker and he has to know the impact that look has.

Can’t falter, don’t falter, don’t give in.

Am I allowed to ask why?

No.

You’ve done your research. You just don’t know why you’re thinking about it now. Steven Grant Rogers, “Captain America,” leader of a crime family that had too many names to stamp out, bolstered by a mad scientist, a military man through-and-through who turned New York into his own private base against whatever stood against his way.

Get in his good graces and you’re set for life. Get in his good graces and you’re safe, you’re protected, you’re good.

Get on his bad side and you only make that mistake once.

There are no second chances in this game, and here you are, asking for one.

So what? You leave the DA’s office, you leave yourself open to me — you think leaving New York is going to be the thing that stops me, Counsel?

No.

Then what?

Breathe. Steady.

I know you gave me that win on purpose — you could have taken out my last jury cohort. This isn’t about the four men… and you know I’ll get them out. This is something else, but I’m not here to ask about what or why.

He falters just briefly, like he’s surprised you knew, but the crack in his mask smooths itself over as soon as it forms and he’s back to watching you, nodding along in silence while you breathe and watch him and keep talking.

But even then. I got four of your guys in prison. And I know how your organization works — I subpoenaed the documents, remember? Your lawyers are good, but they’re not used to people asking the right questions. You want someone to seal up the cracks you need someone who actually knows what to look for.

You have more than his attention, you have his interest, and now he’s leaning in a little. Imperceptibly, but enough. Scanning over you from across the table, like he’s thinking how you managed to get so impertinent in the face of the likes of him but that’s the thing — when the only thing you have left to lose is your life, you’ll risk everything.

So what are you offering?

Breathe. Don’t. Stammer.

Myself.

The chair scrapes and suddenly there’s the clicking of guns, aimed and ready until his hand rises up and he stops them and he’s stalking towards you.

This is the lion’s den, sweetness.

The stakes are higher and you ought to be braver and he’s got your chin in his hand before you have a chance to react, dragging you to your feet. Do you know what you’re offering me, Counsel? Low and hissed and hungry, like those perfect teeth might be sinking into your throat in the next moment.

Oh, you have no idea.

You get me. On your payroll — you know. The offer you sent me a year ago.

You think it’s still open?

If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have met with me.

The chuckle in your face makes your cheeks warm and you’re looking more flushed than you would like, the open shoulders of your dress suddenly feeling a lot more like a mistake the more you realize just what kind of meal he might make out of you tonight.

We might need to have a discussion about your workplace duties, Counsel.

You don’t notice the hand near your thigh until it’s too late, sliding up the soft fabric of your skirt until it’s squeezing your ass, until it’s jerking you towards him, until you’re pressed against his chest and the hand on your chin is now hooked around the back of your neck, thumb pushing your jaw until you’re forced to look at him. Won’t lie, when I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this, having your pretty little body in my arms,and you can look as indignant as you want but he’s got the upper hand and you only thought you were two steps ahead of him.

You think I haven’t thought about what it’d be like to put you in your place, Counsel? You’ve got a smart mouth — I wanna know what else it can do.

He doesn’t give you a chance to use that mouth to lash at him, lips sliding over yours, swallowing that indignant yelp with a punishing kiss. Nipping at the plushness of your lower lip until you open your mouth and yield to him with a sigh of reluctant surrender, let his tongue slide past that barrier for him to explore. He’s got his fingers wound through your hair, just a little too tight and whether the whimper in your chest is because of the pain or because of the want, he doesn’t care.

Knew you’d be sweet, Counsel… softly, when he pulls back to look at you, take a look at those love-swollen lips and your ruined lipstick, the pretty way you pant at him already, the heat burning your cheeks. Pay no attention to the slick warmth between your thighs, pay no attention to the way he makes you burn already, pay no attention to how your fingers have curled into the lapel of his coat to hold yourself steady, pay no attention to how you suddenly miss the pressure of his lips.

All that smart-talk and now you’re quiet, Counsel? F’I knew it just took a kiss to get you to shut up, I would’ve done that at trial, he’s purring in your ear, soft and sweet and you should push at his chest, so uncurl your fingers girl and push.

I didn’t say I was selling my body, there’s your harshness, and there he is, laughing at you again, the grip on your hair jerking your head back until you’re looking into those dagger-cold eyes again.

You don’t make the rules here, Counsel, I do, and you need me more than I need you. So if you want to make sure your Judge can’t start wreaking havoc on your career… you might want to get used to readjusting it for me. I promise I’ll make you feel nice, if you let me…

And if I don’t?

Then I take what I want and I don’t feel bad for not holding up my end of the bargain. Your choice, Counsel, you cum willingly and I’ll give you everything you want. Don’t, and it’ll hurt you more than it hurts me.

That’s not a threat, that’s a promise, and suddenly you’re more scared than you ever thought you’d be, wondering if you’ll need to sell another part of your soul to take him down after. How much of yourself will you put up as collateral to get justice for the wrongs you were never able to correct?

You’re afraid.

Oh sweetness, you’re afraid.

Here? Now?

No, Counsel, we’re gonna do this right, aren’t we? You wanna be in bed with me, I’ll take you to bed with me. Come on, say it. Say the word.

Say no. Say no, rail and fight, stamp your heels into the expensive leather of his shoes, jam your knee into the sensitive between his legs, scream and yell and tell him you will never let another man take advantage of you again to help you reach your goals. Do it. Do the thing you swore you would do the next time a man like him — men who think they can take anything from anyone, men who think they own the world and the women in it, men who think you aren’t strong enough to fight back — propositioned you just like this.

You’re selling your soul to get rid of a man just like this.

But that’s coiling heat in your core that wasn’t there the last time, was it? That’s want. That’s the realization that you like the way this predatory smile feels, that you like the way this one wants you. You’re not her, not scared and alone and helpless. You could fight back and run and maybe escape if you were lucky.

You could choose.

He’s let go of your hair to stroke your cheek with the backs of his fingers, soft and sweet, You gonna give me an answer, Counsel, or am I gonna have to take it?

Say something. Say no. Scream. Say no say no say no say— Yes.

It’s a whisper. A desperate, soft whisper. A helpless, lonely whisper. It’s enough.

He sweeps you around until you’re pressed with your back against his unyielding chest, feeling him flex with every movement, broad arm wrapped around your shoulders from the front. All of you are dismissed, and that’s when you remember there were others in the room with you. Others who just watched you concede to becoming Captain America’s newest plaything and the burn on your cheeks is more shame than lust. You pull at his arm briefly, futilely, earning a tighter hold for your efforts and a whispered don’t make me choke you, before you are half-walked, half-dragged out of the dining room.

The walk to his room is slow and agonizing as you’re pulled along, barely struggling but barely helping at the same time, tears sliding down your cheeks as you come to terms with what’s going to happen next — no one is going to save you tonight, no one’s going to interrupt and drag you out, this is your job and this is your place and here you are.

No one speaks. There’s no sound but the steady tap of your heels and his shoes on fine marble. Even your sobs are silent, even your breathing is muffled, until the stairs are traversed and the faintest click of a lock turning opens the door to the rest of your life.

You made a deal.

Time to pay.

Sit on the bed.

You move as if in a trance, and he watches your face, the hint of waterproof mascara failing to do its job, the smudged ruby red of your lipstick. Don’t give me that look, you knew what you were signing up for when you walked into this house, Counsel.

His hands are gentler than you’d expect, when he wipes away the streaks your tears leave down your pretty cheeks, coaxing you to look up at him, We’ll set ground rules later. Tonight? I wanna see if I can get that mouth of yours to beg for me.

It won’t, you snap without thinking, knifeblade sharp and cruel, ready for a fight again. He promised you that once, in a hiss you thought you’d misheard but no, you heard him just fine and now if he thinks he can quench your fire and have you pleading just because you sold your body for the prospect of revenge then he’s wrong.

Thing is, he laughs like that’s a challenge, and the hand holding your chin so gently is wrapped around your throat before you know it, silencing your voice with just the right application of pressure. I can do this all night, Counsel. Do you think you can last that long?

Fear. Anger. Indignation. You are fury made flesh and he is manipulating you with just the barest press of his palm and sliding over you, until you’re laid out there on soft sheets and he’s looming over you, splaying that big hand out and sliding it down your throat, over your chest, feeling the ruching of the fabric under his palm. You wrapped yourself up like a present for me, didn’t you sweetness?

The change in nickname isn’t lost on you but here you are, glaring up at him while he smiles so beatifically it leaves your blood boiling and your skin steadily warming. The rise and fall of your chest is hypnotic, every angry breath a swear you don’t utter, every inhale your protests dying in your throat. What can you say, what would you say, right now? There’s nothing that can change the way he looks at you, or the way his eyes flicker from ice to blue fire the more he takes stock of the pretty little thing he’s about to start sharing his bed with.

Fuck, you’re beautiful, that one shocks you, but not as much as the sudden rush of cold air when he tears the emerald green fabric of your dress down and reveals the soft swells of your breasts, nipples peaked from the sudden cold.

You don’t get much time to gasp, just something soft and strangled before he turns your voice to whimpers, wrapping lips around that pebbled tip and laving his tongue over sensitive flesh. Where are your words now, Counsel, while he threatens the softness of your chest with the scrape of his teeth, when he slides his hands over the round curve of your thighs and parts your legs so he can press himself between them, so he can press himselfagainst you? Where is the knife-dagger of your wit to protest each soft, suckling kiss to your skin, each press of his fingers like he could just squeeze his ownership of you into the plushness of your hips, into the sweet swell of your ass? What do you say to the dirty little thrust of his hips as he bucks with his own burning need, reminding you just how much this is for hispleasure as he will make it for yours.

You would, could, should push him off and instead what are you doing? Curling your fingers into the silk-smooth of his comforter, desperate to writhe out of your own skin away from the burning pressure between your thighs, the foreign, unfamiliar heat you suddenly feel like you might be craving.

Anyone ever touch you like this before me, Counsel?Warm breath splays across your skin when he questions you, eyes fixed on yours and he waits. Answer him, answer him, tell him he’s nothing, tell him you’ve had better, lie and destroy that ego, lie lie lie lie—

Nnnh—no.

He looks like you’ve just told him the best news of his life, eyes wide and blown with lust, Oh is that right? You’re saying no one’s ever touched you this good? Or just no one’s ever touched you at all?

You don’t have to answer. The furious blush on your cheeks? The way your eyes slide away from his? The way you writhe, trying to press your thighs together to relieve the pressure and finding the effort futile? If the man’s grin could get any wider, it would, right now. Oh sweetness, we’re going to have so much fun exploring your body together…

He pulls back just enough to take a look at you, already flushed and writhing and overwhelmed and if he could take a picture of this right now he would. He’ll save that for later though. Tonight? Tonight is just the two of you, and his hands are back to your skirt, pushing the tight fabric up over your round hips and revealing the lace of your panties… just before he rips them off, to the sound of your indignant yelp Steve!

You’re going to call me Captain, sweetness, we’re not close enough to use my name just yet.

No. No you’re not, and he’s not sure you’ll ever be — he rather likes the idea of hearing you whimper out his title when he gets you desperate and wanting.

He touches, slow and steady, watching you try to jerk away and tutting at you when you do, fingers at your delicate nerves like an assault on your pleasure. Bite your lip, bite back the moans, whine at him like he’s wounded you, You’re so wet, sweetness, you’re so desperate for me aren’t you, as he palms his cock to relieve the pressure on himself. You’re going to beg before he does and he’s patient, he’ll last the night.

St-stop it, it’s too— he shushes you ahtahtaht and rests his free hand on your mound, holding you down so his probing, inspecting fingers can take stock of the velveteen plushness of your delicate cunt. It’s too much, too much and you want to scream the moment he presses one finger into you, already overwhelmed, already so tightly wound the barest touches are unraveling you steadily.

You’re such a pretty thing, all desperate and needy, sweetness. You wanna cum already, don’t you? So busy, never gave anyone the chance to fuck that stuck-up bitch right out of you, did they? It’s almost pitying, isn’t it, the way he talks, hums at you while you’re reduced to a whining, whimpering mess so soon, so desperate for the release he’s on the edge of denying you, feeling you flexing around his finger and then the second leaping jolt of your body when another joins the inspection. Taking careful stock of the pretty cunt he owns now, and he’s careful to curl his fingers just right as he seeks the spot to hammer just to get you to scream.

You don’t, not yet, but that’s okay too, because he sees the way you take desperate hold of the sheets, the way your eyes roll backwards just slightly, the way you strain against his heavy hand to arch your back. Gotta tell you, sweetness, I imagined you under me a thousand and one ways but this one, right now? Tops the list. You ready to beg for me?

Do it. Do it and end your pleasurable torment. Do it and be released from the pressure, the coiling want. Surrender to him. Let him have you.

The white hot rush of your orgasm is not unexpected to him, his curling, cruel fingers having found the sweetness of your g-spot, but — you, too busy climbing the ranks to think of your own pleasure, too busy demanding your due from an unjust world explore your own warmth beyond that of a memory of a college hookup you would rather forget — you left breathless and wanton in the heat of the explosion he draws out of you, mewling something desperate and pleading against your own will and the song of it fills his ears like it’s all he’s ever wanted. There it is, and I thought we’d be here all night. A thumb flickers over the nerves at your entrance and you practically jump, something between a yelp and a moan escaping your lips.

First one’s just a treat, sweetness. Now on, you cum when I say you do, understand?

You nod.

Oh you nod, and you are lost, here and now. Sensitive and broken and there is so little of that steel spine here, writhing in his sheets and ohyou don’t know the things you do to him.

Think you can go again, sweetness? He’s purring, smug, twisting fingers stretching you slowly, muttering under his breath about how fucking tight you are around his fingers, how good you’re going to feel for him, and the smugness on his face is slowly fading into a dark consternation, brows furrowed like he’s somehow angry at you for being plush and delicate and fuckable.

You’re almost begging him to stop, and yet the pressure is building again, the twisting, coiling heat that leaves you breathless and mewling and he looks like he might be trying to immortalize this moment forever. Say it, sweetness. Say you need me. Beg me for my cock.

That’s it.

That’s what you need to, you need to beg, you need to give in. No more fighting, no more arguing no more —

Please…

Please what, sweetness, come on now. You got a way with words. The snarl is so barely contained.

Please, Captain, please just…

What do you need, sweetness? The fingers are relentless, the buzz in your nerves is overwhelming, you can barely even hear yourself talk, much less him.

Please just fuck me, Captain, I need your cock! It’s hurried and it’s crude and it’s desperate and it’s exactly what he wants as just another wall crumbles and you fall off your pedestal right into his arms.

He’s barely able to resist the buck of his hips, the need to be inside you, the knowledge that you are soft and velvet and you could be all over his senses just like this.

When did he free his cock? You don’t know, you just know it’s practically salvation when he sinks into you, when he fills you like you’ve been desperate for and Oh sweetness…pours from his lips just as you hiss out something like praise right back at him.

You’re so full and he’s so gentle, at first, like you’re made of crystal in his arms, like the slow shifting of his hips might have you shattering underneath him if he’s not careful. Cradling you, even, sliding your legs around his narrow hips as he leans in and takes a hungry kiss from your wanting, whimpering mouth.

Love this look on you, all wrapped around me, whispered low and slow into your ear, sweetness you have no idea how good you look…

Melt into those compliments, melt into him, because the way he’s holding you is divine and you can feel him so deep in you it’s making your head spin. When did your arms end up around him? When did you start clinging to him like an anchor, start winding your fingers through his hair, start leaving the marks of your nails on his back to the sound of his own needy groaning?

He noses your cheek and leaves a mark of ownership on your neck with hungry lips, knowing you’ll bruise a beautiful flower right over your pulsebeat and continuing the steady assault on your nerves, cunt-first.

Harder. Faster. More.

And oh, sweetness, you do shatter.

You shatter all around him, you shatter into something divine and rapturous, full of him and filled with him and he cums so deep inside you as you do, still fucking you through your joined climax, hips rutting and breath hitching and nearly furious at you for the way his vision whites out too, the way he feels like he can Never get enough and so he hisses that at you like an accusation while his thoughts reorient back to reality, back to smugness, back to the control you took from him while he tried to strip you of yours.

In the end, as he pulls away from you and sinks to the side of you, watching your sweet expression as you return to the reality of your new situation, he is satisfied… thoroughly.

Oh yeah, I think we can make this a working relationship, Counsel.

[willowser]

4, 5, and 10 for the writing ask game!

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

✧ hmm ! i actually just really like the word feral itself LOL it's so, idk, wild and i love it when it's used in almost every sense, because i think it portrays a certain type of emotion in a certain type of moment very well. but, for the sake of not making this easy for myself, i think maybe tender, because it seems so gentle and vulnerable and soft.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

✧ i have to be in the right physical setting to write, and it is not always at my desktop. i really enjoy the keyboard on my desk because it types so fluid and nice and is so clacky — but recently, it's been tripping me out to sit there. i just can't get anything done while sitting there ! so i've been on my chromebook a lot, just moving around my apartment LOL and i cannot write without sound of some kind, it's just not possible. most importantly, i think if you try to hinder yourself to one specific WIP, you will make yourself miserable and therefore not able to write it. i've talked about this before, but in the past i used to try and put a hold on myself and not allow myself to write anything outside of what i was "supposed" to be writing, and my motivation to get through it was meant to be the desire to work on something else — but it just never worked. i think if you block your creativity out like that, you're doing more damage than good. idk if those count as superstitions, but !!

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

✧ oh god, absolutely. it means that it is always at the back of my mind and i am unable to escape it LOL i am thinking about it almost always, how it made me feel in the moment to read it, how much it inspired me and how deep it dug into the pit of my heart. i'll list fanfic's that have done this for me, simply because this is my fandom space ! warning that these will most likely include spoilers for fics listed !!

✧ “I’m in love with you,” You say, and you can hear it distantly, like someone else is speaking it. [ surrender, by ofmermaids; chapter 8: surrender ]

✧ “Just gimme one thing,” he asks, and it’s so quiet you’re sure your heart’s thumping is louder. “When… Is it soon?” [ on my way (to you), by ofmermaids ]

✧ I couldn’t—they won’t let me come find you. I can’t—I don’t know how to—god fucking damn it. You’re… fuck, I’m not saying this right. If you’re hurt, I’m gonna be pissed. I already bought the wagyu on the way to work and I don’t want it to go bad, so you’d better be in fucking pristine condition when I find you. Just—call me back if you get this. Please. [ i like to call myself wound but i will answer to knife, by kirketeer; chapter 8 ]

✧ “I can make us dinner at home. I don’t give a shit about paying for parking. I can… damn. I’ll do fuckin’ anything.” He exhales, shaky, and his lips ghost against yours, like he wants to kiss you again but he’s holding himself back by the last tattered strands of his self-control. “Just want you to myself.” [ in the dark of morning, you promise me the sun, by kirketeer; chapter 6: winter pt ii ]

✧ Dabi’s usually a lot less evasive about his answers than you are. I’ve lost count. I never loved any of them. Only you. [ higher than the mountain, deeper than the sea, by phen0l; chapter 3, section 24 ]

✧ as far as my own writing, hmm. i can only think of one, really:

✧ Sometimes Enji kissed his mother. Sometimes she looked like she liked it. Back then, he thought maybe you would, too. He didn't know he had blood on his bottom lip until he got home and Enji asked him about it, until Rei inspected it like he'd bit it by accident. But he couldn't tell them, didn't tell them that all of it, every moment with you, had been on purpose. [ if he's a serial killer, then what's the worst that could happen to a girl who's already hurt?; chapter 1: if he's as bad as they say, then i guess i'm cursed; looking into his eyes, i think he's already hurt. ]

[elvendorx]

i just dug up your posts about J&S and their dynamic on their own and within the Marauders four and I am simple enamored with everything you say, i would read a whole essay if you had one <333

also can i get 5 and 44 for the ask game?

Ahh thank you so much, I decided a while ago to post what I enjoy so it's nice that it resonates! I have lot of drafts and also some asks that are long overdue responses (my mind's a mess so they take a while to structure coherently but if you’ve ever sent me an ask, I'm not ignoring it I'm just incredibly slow!) so maybe those will do instead of essays?? (although I can’t control my word counts so maybe they’ll feel like essays💀)

Also I just realised you wrote Benefits which I loved! <33

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

This is lowkey tough. I don’t have too many pet peeves so much as things I don’t agree with but that I can skim over. Things that I flat-out won't read (mainly ships, and cis mpreg) are things I filter out anyway, I’m good at knowing what won’t work for me by now. It always comes down to characterisation for me, as soon as I stop believing in or recognising the character, I’m out. I do feel like I’m super picky with small things so I try to breeze past things that don’t hugely matter.

Like I often cringe at the way people write house-elves that aren’t in the series, especially house elf names? This is petty of me but “Tippy” and “Tiffy” make my skin crawl. Again, am I just being a mean pedant, but the names of house-elves in the series have harsher consonants - Hokey, Kreacher, Winky, Dobby. I also don’t really like reading about the Potters as having a house-elf because as much as they were rich and pureblood, they were clearly not part of the pureblood elite and I think they’d deviate from the more antiquated, traditional aspects of old wizarding families. In my head Fleamont and Euphemia are old rich hippies but it’s not really a make-or-break.

Dialogue can make or break a fic for me, and dialogue that is just there for the plot and doesn’t take on any traits of the person speaking it is something I struggle to stick with - again that’s characterisation, I struggle with OOC stuff but I also struggle when the characters are like, fine, but essentially blank slates who I wouldn’t recognise if I didn’t know who they were supposed to be. 

44. Rant about something writing related.

God, my main writing rants are at myself. Like when I find something I wrote years ago (because I didn't write basically anything between 2017-2021) and I'm like "ooh this is good!" and I've left it halfway through a crucial sentence and because it's been years I can't remember where it was going and I have to abandon it because I don't have the mental room for another WIP right now. But also sometimes these pieces are helpful and fit into other things I’m working on, so swings and roundabouts.

And also just the way I write which is random scenes as they come to me, which I think isn’t an uncommon way to write but I would like it if I made it easier for myself and had a brain that could write chronologically. And I also wish I didn't forget the scenes/sentences I think of on public transport or when I'm in bed about to fall asleep.

More generally, I think the attitude towards writing in fandom needs recalibrating. Writing is a skill, editing is an important part of writing. Within fandom I think you should write for yourself, put what you want to see out there, but at the same time if you rush it and immediately publish it and then get upset that you haven’t had as much engagement as you’d like then maybe just take more time with your work, spend time with it, edit even if it’s just one word or letter at a time. Knowing where you’re headed also immediately makes your work more cohesive because I feel like it’s very clear when a writer has absolutely no idea and just wants to get the first chapter out there for the validation of it, or when a work jumps from one point to the other with no real character journey to get there and like yeah, the release at the end is great but the pay-off is better with the build-up. If it’s for fun and you don’t care, go for it, but I think there’s a lot of entitlement in writing these days that is unsustainable.

[sukisdeliveryservice]

writer ask game // from @januarystars @starlightjoong @neolee231 tyty loves!!

tagging @kwonsyoungs hi aria hehe

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

harry potter! back in like 2015? those were uhhh not good D:

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

seventeen atm!! but maybe i wanna write a soobin fic :O (coffeehouse ppl don't look here)

3. how long have you been writing?

i wrote a lot during 2015-2017!! there's a HUGE gap inbetween and i started writing again in may 2021 D:

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

just tumblr!! i used to post on wattpad though lol

5. what is your favorite genre to write?

i would say fluff but for some reason i write a lot of comfort nowadays...maybe i'm just sad a lot

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

what is a pantser lol uhhh i don't really plan because i'm bad at writing and creating ideas in general so i guess pantser???

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

oneshots!! i get uninsipired really easily ;-; but for reading i usually like reading longer fics :D

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

depends on what it is!! sometimes i feel like you can hit the right spot in only a few words but sometimes i think its necessary to stretch things out for proper development :3

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

my spidey!chan fic is about 9k! it's complete and you can find it here - back to you

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

to be honest i didn't really like anything i've worked on because i'm really unsatisifed with my writing :( i'd say my debut fic - flights and feelings was my favourite because it kicked me back into writing and i felt less pressure to make it good :)

11. favorite request you have written and why(if any)?

bittersweet day !! mingyu makes me cry :3 thank you anon for rq that :)

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

terrible writing. but uhhh i repeat a lot of words/phrases out of habit :( and it's almost always going to have a happy ending because i'm a weak crybaby

13. Current number of wips(works in progress)?

probably like 3 or 4? i mentioned i get uninspired easily :( i'm also super inconsistent pls i'm so sorry

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing.

repeated words, awkward pacing/flow, long unecessary sentences, excess words in general, uncreative for the most part...

15. a quote you like from a published story.

he has a few more days until the end of his tour. maybe he can leave a little bit early, a lot of people are going to be upset though; but it doesn’t matter, he wants you.

“just a little longer okay love? i’ll be home soon.”

- say you love me

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

Jeonghan doesn’t age, you know that. You used to pray every night that one day you would wake up and find a wrinkle on his forehead, a crinkle at the corner of his eye, a strand of gray hair above his ear; anything that would tell you that his time to rest had finally come.

17. space for you to say something to your readers

thank you for giving me a chance guys 😭 i don't really have any works i'm proud of atm but thank you for sharing all your reactions in the tags and every little intereaction MEANS THE WORLD TO ME !! it's kind of baffling that someone took the time to read something i wrote and i read every single comment you guys make 💕💕💕 ily and i send hugs and all my love 💕🤧

[colour-outside-the-liness]

First of all!! Loved the MoU fic update! left you a comment on AO3 and all. 10/10 ratings haha.

Secondly, moving countries is great you should try if you ever get a chance. I've always wanted to do that and jumped in on the first opportunity I got to make that dream come true, and I recgozine how lucky I am to be able to do so. It's definitely not easy but I'd do it again if I could (in true sag fashion 😎 haha). Where would you want to live? You ever been outside the UK?

Hahaha you and I in a team would be a nightmare to play against I think. Oh come on you absolutely do not deserve people questioning your intelligence! I like to play dumb in addition to the taunting so people underestimate me, they never see it coming when I win. They never see the cheating coming either, my friends are always shocked when they find out, but I do it almost every single time! 😂 I'm competitive too but I like to play it cool especially If I lose I'll be like "it's just a game calm down yall" but if I win I'm like "in your face losers!" (very mature I know).

I love your drunken story, though does sound like it was very dangerous so I'm glad nothing bad happened to you two! Ah I love yalls nordern accent (me and everyone in this fandom 😂) haha your friend's sense of humor is golden.👌 I'm glad you enjoyed my worst drunken experience, that was the last time I did something like that, I felt bad bc my best friend had to take care of me the whole night and you're right she should've told me it was just a rock! Lucky you you didn't get a hangover the day after, I certainly regretted drinking too much that night however fun it might have been haha.

Like I said before your niece is a really cool kid haha I'm glad you have someone to talk to about Bly Manor, don't know anyone who watches the show and my friends don't like scary stuff so I have to talk to myself about it 😂 and now you! Thank you for entertaining me ;) and I only watch the parts I really like now, I'm tired of crying every time I watch the whole show haha.

Do you do random accents really badly like Dani too? 😂 it is kinda funny your mom said it like that yeah hahaha maybe she just meant the good bits? And I mean, do you think you need help? Lol

I have a sneak peek of that damie fanart here, don't think I'll ever finish it tho. I want to do a medieval AU inspired fanart. Maybe it will also inspire someone to pick up the idea and write it haha.

How's your weekend been so far? My neighbor is making me watch Grey's Anatomy season (???) 500 idk but I wish I was reading that pirate AU instead 😂

Awwh thank you so much!! I will get around to replying to the comment on AO3 tomorrow when I reply to the others I've had a very busy day today though so haven't even had chance to read any comments yet but thank you so much for giving it a 10/10!! I wanna do it as soon as I get chance but I know it's gonna be hard and that I am gonna need a bit more money behind me first but I definitely wanna do it when I can... yeah I've been out of the UK twice- one time I went to France for the weekend when I was doing my A Levels and was like 17 the college I was studying at took some of the art kids and since I was doing a photography A Level I got to go and then a couple of years ago I went to LA for a few weeks which was great but I've never been out of the UK for longer than that!! A nightmare for everyone else but it would be hilarious for us I just know it would haha... I sometimes do I have said some dumb things, I actually used one of my dumber moments as a funny little story in one of my fics- people still laugh at me now for what I said and it's been 10 years... my roommate will not let me live it down!! See surprising people that way is always brilliant like when people just expect you to lose and then you win? That's the best kind of win in my eyes!! I don't cheat at games I am just ridiculously competitive and can't stand losing unless it's something like a video game I am okay with losing those but board games I can't stand losing and I am also a terrible winner my roommate won't play games with me anymore!! I can't say anything about anyone being that kind of a winner because I know I am and one of my sister's is terrible too we literally make a song and dance over winning Oh it was so dangerous and we were so dumb to do it like anything could've happened and we both sit and look back at that and go "man we were dumb" but I also sit and go "oh my god she's gonna be a mum in like 4 months" because we've done some crazy / stupid stuff!! My roommate is without a doubt one of the funniest people I have ever met and she's not afraid to tell it how it is... I'll admit because I have a Northern accent Jamie is like the only character on Bly Manor to not have an accent to me so when I hear people talking about her accent I'm always a little like "what?" Because to me that's just how people talk around here haha I did enjoy your drunken story and honestly we've all been there I have had to be taken care of on more than one occasion for being too drunk like to the point of people having to help me into my pyjamas and everything I've been in some bad ways haha!! She should've definitely told you it was just a rock and not a turtle!! Yeah I've only had one hangover and that was after a night of drinking where I blacked out and don't remember any of the night!! Yeah the night of the drinking is always fun- the hangover isn't though and often makes you wonder if it was worth it haha She's so cool like genuinely just a cool and funny kid and she just asks all the questions about shows she's watched so with me its Bly Manor with her mum and dad it's Stranger Things she asked me about it once but I had to tell her I'd never watched it she didn't seem impressed but yeah I'll talk to her about Bly Manor any day of the week- and you too now honestly I will talk about it to anyone that will listen... I can't not watch it all if I watch it because there's just so much about it that I love even if it makes me cry... episodes 4,6, and 8 are my favourites though and are probably the ones I have watched the most!! Yeah I do random accents all the time and they're always terrible but I always find myself really funny- I had this friend at Uni that had a slight southern English accent because he had spent most of his childhood there before moving up north and he still said certain words in a southern accent and I used to do his accent all the time but it was always terrible!! Oh yeah my mum is pretty blunt with stuff like she'll say things sometimes without thinking about how it sounds that or she just doesn't care like she's said

somethings haha I am sure she did mean the Dani thing in a nice way though because she said she liked her- Dani and Owen were her favourites and I mean some help for me wouldn't be a terrible thing I'll admit haha That fan art is incredible!! Like seriously amazing!! I would love to see some medieval fan art for Damie!! I have been sent a few medieval prompts for Damie and I have started writing some of them but it's taking time to actually get full chapters together but once I have and once I have more time from wrapping up other WIPs I'll make a start on editing and uploading those because medieval stuff is always great!! It's been good thank so far today I went to a little beach town with my mum, 2 of my sisters their partners and two of my nieces (my cool niece was one of them… not that my other niece isn’t cool but you know what I mean) and me, my two brother in laws, and my nieces all played a game of crazy golf while my mum and sisters went to a cafe and had cups of tea... they didn't wanna play with us but we still had fun while we played (I came second which I was very happy with)!! I hope you enjoy Grey's Anatomy and that you get chance to read the pirate AU soon!! It's soo good!! ☺️

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 90:

This question is about the Heroine's Journey. Let me start by saying thank you for putting this out there because a lot of us want more women protagonists in the world.

However, I'm going to use today as a free exercise.

I've written a lot about a nameless individual who caused me a lot of pain.

Well, I met a counter to that person. Someone who pulled me out of that tragic headspace by doing nothing but being a good friend. He helped me re-learn what a healthy, close friendship with boundaries looks like. Even though we never talk about ~*~*-!feelings!-~*~ the way I did with the friend I lost, I feel a deep and powerful sense of gratitude toward this person.

I like to write the moments that feel like poetry. I'm inspired by the times in my life where I felt like I was touched by something special. Most of these moments have been during mundane, everyday things. This is one of those times. More context to follow.

Lyrics are from Soldier's Eyes by Jack Savoretti. The song is very central to this writing moment.

The below could be considered very, very mild spoilers for the game Days Gone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It's a lazy weekend morning, and like always, I'm watching him play and listening to him talk. I can't remember what he's saying but I'm sprawled out on my couch watching my computer screen from across the room - because for whatever reason I can't stream discord to my Chromecast.

Lately I've been wondering what's been going on

It's what we always do. Sometimes in silence and sometimes deep in conversation but always together. I think this makes him happy - he wouldn't be doing it after these years if it didn't, right?

I've been here before but I don't remember when

When we met, I was slow to trust. I'd learned that men who talk to me for no reason always have an ulterior motive. And here's this guy, with a conspicuous accent I can't place, texting me on a Saturday morning like it's nothing: "I'm in discord if you wanna talk about butts."

That's our thing. There's a gaggle of us that met by happenstance online. We talk about the kind of stuff that makes middle-schoolers laugh. It's immature and perfect in it's levity. All of them are flawed and it's likely none of us will know each other forever, but we weave in and out of life's responsibilities to talk about "divide my cheeks" and other stupid shit.

Eventually I learn they do want something from me - friendship. Normal human companionship and respect.

And every time we get to where we're entering

I feel my beliefs and hopes surrendering

But sometimes - a lot of times, actually - it's just me and him. And he'll play and I'll watch. He loves video games, probably more than even I do. Maybe even more than anyone I've ever met. And today he's playing Days Gone.

We're about a week into it. The most heartwarming thing is sometimes he holds off progressing in his own time so I don't miss what comes next. And I'm glad I'm not missing this.

But I know, I'll be coming home soon

Deacon, the main character, is a man learning how to get by in a changed world. In this moment he's offering comfort in the best way he knows how to his sick friend while they drive to get him help. His companion Boozer might be his only remaining friend. They grit their way through the uncertainty on Deacon's motorcycle.

On discord, silence falls between us so we can both appreciate the moment unfolding.

"Do you know why we do this?" Deacon asks.

His companion, Boozer, dazedly responds with a simple "No."

"Because what the hell else are we gonna do?"

Yes I know, I'll be coming home soon

The music kicks in. Just like that, I'm transported.

I'm back at the farm. Back in during simpler times when my only responsibilities were showing up for work and planning my wedding. Back when I listened to Hozier while driving by green fields on quiet roads, wondering if 200k miles was enough to justify getting a new car, dreaming of where life could take me. Those days when the place I called home was so beautiful I used to whisper "goodbye" to the flowers every night because I knew one day I would leave and the longing would never stop.

Something in that acoustic melody takes me straight back there. Sprawled on my couch and capturing the lyrics in my mind to google them later.

I pass my quiet revelation to my friend, knowing he has enough context to know what I'm talking about even if he doesn't understand the feeling. And the silence stretches on until Deacon and Boozer arrive at their destination and the moment is over.

My friend doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve like I do, but I've spent enough time with him to know he's in contemplation just like I am.

Neither of us speak for a while. And that's okay. In the silence, my thoughts thank him for his kindness.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I was totally and pleasantly shocked to learn the song that soundtracked this simple moment was by Jack Savoretti. I know only one other song by this artist, and it's very special to me. It's called Home, and it makes me think of my husband.

It reminds me of when someone tried to tear us apart, and my resolve to not let that happen. It reminds me of when my parents fought me over his "priorities" and his "work ethic" and all the ways they had not yet seen his growth, his determination, his strength and patience. It reminds me of the years we spent only being able to see each other on the weekends and the home and workplace I left to start my life with him.

Help me stand, help me rise

I can't bear the changing tides

This is the road we chose to take

No regrets and no mistakes

What's striking is the parallels. "Home" and "Soldier's Eyes." The friend I lost, and the friend who loves video games. The moments I shared, with each of these people respectively, while we listened to these songs. The same moment with different music, different people, at different times. This lazy morning was like a special confirmation that I made it through, and I'm on the right track.

Here's the scene on YouTube: