#I've been thinking about this all day so - here it is I guess

[ddolbyong]

playlist. homesick - wave to earth, flower of life - the novembers, to us - apro(ft. wave to earth & wavy), plastic flowers - idlework, all i need to hear - the 1975

MAY 22ND

hey yn, its haechan. i know this is stupid... uh i just... i really miss you. um... i don't know what to say... i don't even know why i called... oh! um i heard this song recently, uh homesick...? by wave to earth. i know how much you love this band and i have to admit your taste might even be better than mine haha. uh. you know... listening to this song reminded me of you. yn, i... i feel so lost without you by my side. i miss having you around. i miss your warmth, i miss your comfort... i just miss you. you're... you're my home and i'm homesick.

MAY 25TH

hi yn. its haechan. again. uh jaemin recommended this song to me recently... um its called... flowers? no uh... flower of life. by the novembers. i... i think. my memory hasn't been very good recently haha... sorry. uh the song is about the uncertainty and curiosity of the future, as well as... the um desire to live life to the fullest. you always used to tell me how you were unsure on where the future would take us. well um i... i just want you to know that whereever it takes us, i just want to be by your side. i want to live life to the fullest with you. i miss you.

MAY 29TH

hey, its haechan. um doyoung played this song yesterday... he uh said it reminded him of you. i guess... everyone misses you too huh. uh... um.. what was i talking about? oh! right. the song. i think its called.. to us by uh.. apro. wave to earth also features in it so you would definitely enjoy it heh... anyways, the song is about embracing life's challenges and finding contentment in the present! doyoung said it reminded him of you because you always knew just how to handle your problems and not let them affect your life. i totally agree with him. you always carried gratitude and appreciation for the present... it makes me admire you more than i already do.

JUNE 1ST

its haechan. i miss you. i heard plastic flowers by idlework yesterday. made me think of you. i uh.. i can't think of anyone else who can connect with me as well as you did. everything feels so empty without you. it hurts. i um... do you remember? when we uh just laid in silence, scrolling through our phones for the entire day. haha.. i...  i don't know if i can do that with anyone else without it feeling awkward. it only feels familiar with you.

JUNE 6TH

hey. its my birthday today. i've just been in my room listening to the 1975's all i need to hear. this was our favourite song, remember? um.. i... i miss you so much yn. i wish you were here, with me. telling me everything i need to hear.

notes: this was inspired by @00127am 's mark voicemail fic!!! i also orginally wrote this for anton but i just miss haechan too much... i hope you enjoy and feedback, likes, reblogs n replies are appreciated!

[appleflavoredkitkats]

i will make a proper analysis post for this one day but i genuinely think the "fundy's mind" stream is fundy's magnum opus. it does so much in one short stream. it perfectly portrays the fundamentals of fundy's character while also leaving so much to be interpreted and decoded.

like of course half of the metaphors and mysteries put into that episode hinted his involvement w las nevadas. but, and i think this point stands better considering how his story was executed and concluded, i think the stream was such a perfect encapsulation of the cyclical nature of fundy's abandonment and self-worth issues. it is "fundy's mind" after all.

we see glimpses of wilbur, literal monologues of how he feels brushed aside. i think back then, our interpretations of the books were a little too literal— which was not wrong to assume at the time. fundy was having prophetic dreams, of course it was normal to think he could have been a time traveler or something of that sort.

but, in the present day, i feel like if you look into the texts of these books in a more metaphorical sense, it makes a lot more sense. there's definitely a theme about "waking up" in a metaphorical sense, but the dreams flip this phrase on its head in some sort of way, as if dream!fundy was trying to get fundy to look away from the books.

i posit that dream!fundy demands fundy to wake up because it actually shields fundy from the painful truth deeply embedded in his psyche. meanwhile, sleeping actually causes fundy to dig into this truth more as it causes him to stay into this dream world. so when fundy chooses to sleep, he's not shielding himself away— rather, it represents the metaphorical "waking up", beholding truths that he typically shies away from.

but then what is this "truth"?

well, when dream!fundy gives up scaring fundy off, he confesses to an evil someone who will destroy fundy and everything he ever loved. of course, this pertains to quackity, but here's the thing. if dream!fundy wanted to protect fundy, then he would have obviously warned him about quackity without hesitance.

i'd argue that quackity being some big baddie is half the "truth" dream!fundy is trying to warn him about. then what is the other half that's missing? i think it has something to do with the "you're not real" statements.

those seem like a scare tactic at first. if not, it does not feel like it's meant to be the "painful truth" dream!fundy is trying to shield from fundy because he says it multiple times before the actual "truth" is revealed. but i think the reveal actually becomes more impactful if you read it as "there will be an evil person out there, always, that will make you not real."

and i guess to explain— there's, like i said, a cyclical nature to fundy's issues. he follows someone, dedicating himself to the country until it all inevitably becomes futile in the end. it happens with all iterations of l'manberg and las nevadas. i've always stated that fundy is the embodiment of the nations he's apart of, and he dies alongside it whenever it comes down to it.

so when the book mentions, "you are not real", "this place isn't real", and "but he [those who left him, specifically quackity] is", i feel like it's not just talking about quackity and las nevadas. rather, if we think about it, this is literally the formula in which fundy's arcs literally follow. he becomes nothing alongside the dissolvement of a nation, because those he trusted and followed were real threats.

and what i think this dream hints in particular is that, las nevadas would be the last straw. after this, his existence becomes virtually nothing. he is rendered nothing.

which is literally what happens in the end.

fundy's storyline has always been about being sidelined, always forgotten or used as a punchline for a joke. in this case, i feel that the dream isn't just warning him about this, but rather it's literally his destiny to be forgotten. that is the painful truth dream!fundy doesn't want fundt to know. that's why he sounded so defeated by fundy's stubbornness and curiosity by the third book— he does not want fundy to know that it's literally in his fate that he ends up becoming nothing.

and, well, it's true. the last we see of fundy is when he jumped into the l'manberg crater after cutting himself off from wilbur. it's even stated that fundy didn't die to end it all, but rather to "get away from wilbur". at the same time, we see fundy donate schlatt's sword, one of his prized possessions, to the museum.

he literally cuts off one of the most integral, most defining, aspects of his character— his devotion to nationhood and those who embodied it. and after that, we never see him again. when fundy chose to choose things for himself, to separate himself from l'manberg, physically and ideologically, he's gone.

it's as if he's not real.

we never really know if fundy left for the best or the worst, really. but in the narrative of the dsmp, separating himself from l'manberg literally makes him null. that's the truth his dreams were trying to shield himself from.

[iz-star]

My thoughts and guesses / theories about Zayne's upcoming main story branch.

Like I've said in previous posts, I've been hella busy with work and most of all, exhausted so I haven't been able to come here and scream about the game updates (let alone draw something) but I still want to summarize my reactions from the past few days.

About the main story update, I'm really excited to see what's going to happen! I love the Dawnbreaker references but I have to be honest, I don't really think this is Dawnbreaker, he's still Dr Zayne (they both are part of each other somehow, but you understand what I mean).

Here's why:

At first, I genuinely thought this time we really would get the chance to interact with Dawnbreaker since Zayne is wearing DB's outfit and not a jumpscare outfit like in Snowy Serenity but the more I watched the trailer, the more I realized that this is still Dr Zayne which both makes me feel alleviated (cause if it were to be Dawnbreaker, it would leave us wondering where Dr Zayne is) and scared cause if he gets to suffer/ sacrifice himself in this time line like he did as Foreseer and MoF, I don't know well how I'll handle it.

He's a male lead so I don't think they will kill him off (? but somehow with Zayne one never knows, he's honestly always surprising us. In any case, my wildest theory is that if something happens to Dr Zayne, then we'll continue his branch with Dawnbreaker... idk? Anyway, don't really pay too much attention to this since it's most unlikely that something like this happens.

The impression I got after watching the trailer so many times is that this is actually Dr Zayne in the process of becoming 'Dawnbreaker' (maybe not exactly his other self but the concept) which has been one of his biggest fears; the reason? Because the Xander Sciences experiments, the severe cases of Protocore Syndrome and Metaflux anomalies are probably speeding the process of humanity to get doomed since in Dawnbreaker's world, humans turning into wanderers is something pretty recurrent and the very reason Zayne is a killer and his world is apocalyptic. Dr Zayne knows of this, he knows using protocores in human hearts is dangerous (the very reason he gave up his research in university), he also knows that to be exposed to big quantities of metaflux is what turns humans into Wanderers, he knows it because when he and William fought side by side in Mt Eternal, it was in order to destroy a Protofield that got out of hand and the Metaflux anomalies there were bringing to land more Wanderers. It was until they destroyed the protofield when William started to turn into an Abomination and then, a Wanderer.

In the trailer, Dr Zayne says something like 'We have no choice but to destroy this place" so my guess is that there is another big Metaflux anomaly like in Mt Eternal but this time in a place where there is a lot of ppl and due to being exposed to it, they're turning into Wanderers, something that Zayne as a Doctor can't cure: "Aren't you a Doctor. You should've save me!"

In fact, this is something he can only cure as Dawnbreaker:

I'm really interested to know who was the guy who asked Zayne to kill him. My guesses are:

William (and this probably a flashback).

Carter

Greyson (most unlikely since the voice didn't mach but goshh could you imagine the angst if it was him??)

So if there is another Metaflux anomaly it means that there's a Protofield that got out of hand and it probably was in either Akso Hospital or Xander Sciences company cause they had a special patient that accoring to what they say in the trailer, had a fragil heart that would've stopped long ago.

If I'm not mistaken (and since I'm currently sleepy and feeling lazy) in the World Underneath anecdotes Carter and Xander Sciences tried to keep some patients alive or to revive them using protocores and keeping him in pods but it didn't work? However, long before these anecdotes were released, we knew that there were already organizations doing research about immortality:

It seems that 'A special energy field' is necesary in order to reach better conditions to regenerate the human heart. What if this 'special energy field' is something similar to a Protofield? If we remember correctly, in both Rafayel and Xavier's myths MC's heart was necessary for them to live immortal lifes? In Rafayel's case, she seemed to give ppl some kind of energy? But at the same time she couldn't leave their city neither. In Xavier's case, her heart was like an unending source of energy for Philos core and they wanted to feed Philos core with her so they would stop to sending humans and then Philos core would stop crearing wanderers.

In both cases, it seems that MC is the source of energy of a Protofield that both gives it enough quantities of energy to keep it balanced and making ppl within this field to be immortal (like her) without the risk of becoming wanderers. In Rafayel's myth, she was already the source of this field, so there are actually no wanderers in this myth. In Xavier's myth, she wasn't the source of it so they were creating wanderers bc of it.

What if in this case, Xander Sciences discovers that the key to reach immortality lies in creating a Protofield with enough energy to create the needed conditions to regenerate human hearts for indefinite amount of time and that the KEY to achieve this lies in MC's aether core??

What if what Zayne is trying to protect here is MC's heart so they won't use her to reach immortality, EVEN if he knows that this most likely will avoid tons of deaths and will stop the creation of wanderers and ALSO will avoid his future as Dawnbreaker but even so he chooses to save her, just like he did as Foreseer and Master of Fate.

And lastly, he mentions "When that day comes... When I can't wake up" my only guesses are:

His nightmare of becoming "The Grim Reaper" will become true.

By destroying the Protofield that is creating the anomaly, he also freezes himself?

Maybe he steals part of MC's power or even he takes the creatio protocore he gave to her as Foreseer and uses it on himself so instead of using her as the source of energy for this Protofield, he offers himself as this unending source of energy? (This one is quite wild and seems unlikely to happen but I still wanted to mention it ahaha).

Anyway these are all my thoughts for now. Please take this with a grain of salt, since these are only silly theories and nothing official. We'll have to wait some days more to discover the truth.

[lumeha]

Guess what I've seen more takes I disagree on the internet but decided to make my own post about it because why not : )

But. Gods. I love the work they did on Felix recruitment out of house. Felix's recruitment out of house should be the gold standard of out of house recruitment. But the problem is that it works because Felix is, well, he's Felix.

Out of house recruitment has probably THE biggest impact on Felix. His character arc in AM VS his character arc in other route is completely different. And at the core of it is that Felix is a stubborn bastard who needs to have him pulled back from the ground so he can finally see the whole story. Something he does experience in AM ! Because, like, after all, after everything, AM is the route where Felix can finally see Dimitri fully, and seeing Dimitri fully is one of the things that lead Felix to accept some things about himself !

Things he will never learn or accept in other routes. Like the fact that, yeah, actually, taking the title of Shield from his father is something he can do in his own way, and that a lot of his feelings regarding chilvalry is directly linked to the fact that he doesn't want to see people get hurt for his or someone else's sake !

The contrast between his endings outside of AM, where he's a bitter lone wolf who doesn't let anyone get close, VS his endings in AM ? Fucking night and day. And it's all because out of house Felix is a prickly bastard who, yeah, during the officer's academy time, can and will think he can do better and be stronger if he goes into a different house, because he thinks he's chasing strength's for his own sake.

And it takes a lot for him to stop believing that.

It takes him having to face his own grief directly (over Glenn and over his father) and having to see Dimitri for who Dimitri is, not the idea he's building of who Dimitri is. Something he can't do if he's out of house. Because he's a prickly guy who is stubborn and doesn't want to see it. He doesn't want to. Because it fucking hurts. And he's not dealing with emotions well at all. Actually he's just not dealing with emotions at all, in a way, he's bottled that shit up and it explodes in anger and he's a mean bastard because he's just not dealing with it.

I think - one thing in AM that does change things a lot for him, in particular, is that he does search for Dimitri. He doesn't really admit it out loud but he does ? And it's a whole. Thing. About having to deal with who he thinks Dimitri is. and that he still loves him (we don't care which way here) even if he's been thinking that he's lost the Dimitri he's known as a child all this time.

He doesn't understand Dimitri's trauma, but frankly, he doesn't understand his own either, which is why his path in and out of house is so different. Because in one path, he gets to understand that. In the other ? He's still running away from it. And he's making sure he's never getting caught by it.

[deep-hearts-core]

The Competitive Barbershop Music Explainer, and Why More of Tumblr Should Be Obsessed With It.

I've been threatening this for now almost a year, so here it is. You probably have an idea in your head of what a barbershop quartet is: maybe you’ve seen The Music Man, or possibly the Louie Zong Hatsune Miku song. But barbershop exists as a hobby these days, too, and there are parts of it that are deeply cool and nerdy. Some of you--gasp--might actually enjoy it. 

What the hell is barbershop music?

Barbershop music got its name from the Black barbershop social space out of which it evolved. In the early 20th century, groups of guys would get together and harmonize as a way to pass the time. The style later got appropriated into white culture (I’m going to come back to this, keep reading) and evolved into what most people think of when they hear the phrase “barbershop quartet”. 

Barbershop got a lot less popular after the 1960s or so, but it’s not gone! Today, it’s overseen primarily by the Barbershop Harmony Society (formerly the Society and Preservation for Barbershop Quartet Singing in America, but… that’s long…), which organizes contests and codifies the “rules” of what barbershop is and how it’s different from other a cappella. Those rules are mostly music theory stuff, which I won’t go into here for fear of boring people, but if anyone is curious my askbox is open :D 

It’s not just quartets, either. There are also choruses that sing in the same four-part style, following the same music rules as the quartets, and they compete too. This is how I got involved.

Why is Tumblr supposed to enjoy this?

Reason #1: The competition. I’ve been on Tumblr for several years, and do you know what we love? Ranking things, picking favorites, and watching talented people do their thing. It’s actually kind of similar to Eurovision--there’s a jury and a points system, and people get mad about it every year; there’s a qualifying round and a nerve-wracking calloff; it’s even international! BHS operates in the US and Canada, and most competing groups are from here, but there are sizable scenes in the UK, Sweden, Australia, and Aotearoa, as well as smaller organizations across Western Europe and beyond. The Japanese organization held its first ever competition this year! Regional contests happen all over once or twice a year, culminating in the international competition the first week of July, where quartets and choruses battle it out to be the best of the best. People have favorite groups and try to guess where people are going to place each year. If you’re me, you can even do the Eurovision fan thing and overanalyze the running order. 

Reason #2: The talent. Listen, many of these people are incredibly talented singers. Take The Clementones from Denmark, for example, who delivered amazing Addams Family character work this year. Or Smoke Ring, the New York City-based quartet trying to singlehandedly make barbershop sexy again. I could give you so many examples of singers who can hold long notes forever and ever, but I’ll show restraint and only link two: Vocal Spectrum and Midtown. And of course I have to link this fucking amazing Hunchback of Notre Dame medley. Many singers also arrange songs specifically for their own groups. If you’re a music nerd in any way, this is for you.

Also, if you enjoy niche subcultures or #hobbydrama, there’s so much to rotate in your brain. This is part of what hooked me initially. 

But it's racist/culturally appropriated!

Well, you’re not wrong… but so are a lot of things. Bear with me for a second. I'm not going to come out and blindly defend the history and say oh there's nothing wrong with the organization we can't blame them. The organization was segregated for a long time. Women were only allowed to join as full members in 2018. The Black origins of barbershop singing were actively obscured by SPEBSQSA for decades and have only recently become well-known to most members. Hell, when the BHS went co-ed a splinter organization formed to try and keep the hobby all-male. There is bad history.

BUT. People are trying. There's a sizable contingent of young queer people who do well and become well-connected within BHS--including Smoke Ring, who I linked above. They’re causing a nonzero amount of controversy and are visibly queer and something new and unapologetic about that. More and more nonwhite people are joining and finding success competitively. Academics on the subject actively spread the history that barbershop is a Black genre, and this is increasingly common knowledge especially among young barbershoppers. The most successful barbershoppers in Aotearoa (BHNZ) are predominantly Māori and Pasifika. The BHS board, while they do not have any real understanding about how to execute this at all, does at least want to reckon with the history and is, in theory, trying. For all its many, many faults, there are good people here who are making change.

Ok fine, you've got me. Now what?

Go click on all the links in this post and then let the YouTube algorithm do its work. Also, send me asks! I can go on about this shit forever and ever.

Here are some more suggestions for you:

the chorus performance that first got me interested

Panic! at the Disco but it’s barbershop

these guys also do Spiderman! 

girls who will step on you and you will like it

the air raid warden song from that one tumblr post

air raid warden guys sing about ducks

totally not never gonna give you up. what? what are you talking about?

the first ssaa group to medal in bhs have since changed their lineup but this performance reigns eternal

And if you like to sing, see if there's a chorus (click here for SSAA only) or chapter nearby. I won't get preachy and say you'll have a great experience no matter what. Sometimes people suck; I have the luck to live in a major city on the East Coast and I can say with reasonable confidence that not everyone is going to be as chill as my people are. However, this is such a small space that everyone will be excited about a new person coming in and will likely give you a little leeway. 

I've only been doing this for a year and a half, but I can easily say that I love it and it's changed me. So, even if you scrolled to the bottom of this post rolling your eyes because I should just shut up about this already, thanks for listening. <3

[buddiekinard]

several sentences sunday

so no one tagged me (this week) but this is the first time in a while i actually have something i'm actively working on. i posted something maybe last week or two weeks ago but that version of the story has actually been scrapped because i regathered my thoughts. anyway i wrote a couple thousand words today and i just wanted to post a little bit of it. i don't think i've been this invested in/stressed about writing something for a very long time. i've been plotting out this fic for months and i've been living and breathing it, so here's a little bit of it for you.

'tis the damn season au, buddie, aka the fic where buck and his parents moved to el paso and buck went to high school with eddie and shannon, and now he's coming back for a visit (set in 911-time during s3 when buck isn't allowed back to work - instead of suing everyone, buck goes home)

His phone starts ringing.  Of course Eddie hadn’t just texted back. 

Of course Eddie is calling him.

“Hey.” “Hey, Evan.  I wasn’t sure you’d ever want to speak again.”

“Please, call me Buck.  Everyone calls me Buck.”

“Right,” Eddie says.  “Right, you said that.”

“I’m in El Paso.” Buck fumbles with the hem of his t-shirt, nervously.  It’s so annoying that he hasn’t just let himself turn up to Eddie’s parents, asking where he can find Eddie.  Helena had always loved him.  She wouldn’t question his presence even a little bit.  She would probably give him a big hug and invite him in for coffee.  He’s just not sure he has that right or place in Eddie’s life anymore.

After all, he was the one who’d taken off.

“You’re - “ There’s a long pause on the other end of the line and then Buck hears the click of a door.  “You’re here?”

“Yeah, I had to get out of LA.  I was feeling a little suffocated and a lot lost.  I’m at my parents’ house.”

“Did you talk to Shannon?”

“Yeah.” Buck closes his eyes.  “You didn’t tell me you were divorced.” “You didn’t exactly give me the chance.” There’s nothing tense in Eddie’s voice, not like Buck would expect.  He sounds light, sarcastic, like the Eddie Buck remembers from all the way back in high school when everything between them was just so easy.

“No, I guess I didn’t.” “Hey, so, I don’t work tomorrow.  Do you want - we can just, you know.  Hang out, like old times or whatever.”

Buck wants to ask what kind of old times he means.  The ones where he, Eddie, and Shannon would waste the day sitting in the Whataburger parking lot listening to shitty music and sharing a cigarette or the kind in that short window of time where the two of them would go find somewhere to park and make out sloppy in Eddie’s truck.  Or maybe the time they tried to get the fuck away from this town together, before they knew Shannon was pregnant, when Buck really thought he and Eddie could be EvanAndEddie for real.  He doesn’t ask.

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.  It’ll be nice to catch up.”

[pandasleepy07]

ComfortSwiss!Reader

Inspired by @skele-bunny

Nightmares of your days in the pit had become regular, espically when the moon was full, and glaring down at you from your window. A multi-ghoul wasn't natural. You're not natural. Words of the pit followed you topside. Nothing, no one could shake them.

Tonight was no different. You had taken to walking in the halls at night. No destination in mind. Just walking. Restlessness followed the darkness of the night. It was too similar to the darkness of the pit. You silently cursed not having the element of fire. That could at least keep some of the darkness at bay. This time you had wandered down a different hall, not paying enough attention to your surroundings, but the scent that lingered in the hall, was strangely familiar, a mix of varying scents. The ghouls den.

You blinked at the realization and then turned to head back, before realizing you didn't know how to get back to the ghoulettes gen. The Abbey had been built like a maze. "Fucks sake," you whisper, rubbing your face. Instinct told you to go to Mountain's room, knock, and ask for help. He wouldn't mind. But you didn't want to wake him up. So instead you looked around. A warm flicker of light came out from under a door, you stepped closer, and the familiar smell of cedar embers, and leather. A scent that's so distinctly Swiss.

You don't think about it, but in the blink of an eye, you're standing in front of his door, your hand raised to knock. But what if I'm bothering him? What if he doesn't want to help? What if-

Your thoughts are interrupted by the door opening, and Swiss' cocky smirk appearing in front of you. "Well, well, well... Look who's caving into the lift of the 3-week intimate ban."

Your brow wrinkles in confusion. "Huh? No... that's- that's not it," you whisper, your voice shaky.

Confusion flashes across his face for a moment. It's rare to catch the multi ghoul off guard. He takes a moment to study you, like really study you, and notices the bags under your eyes, the way you're slumped slightly, the tired skittishness about your appearance.

"Can't sleep?" he guesses quietly, his demeanor softening.

You nod slightly, but avoid the reason why. "I just need help getting back to the ghoulette den. I- I can't sleep at night, so I walk, and I just got lost this time. I don't know how I ended up here, or how to get back. And the dark feels constricting."

"Too much like the pit."

Swiss' words are quiet, a silent understanding flickering in his eyes.

"Yeah..." you mumble, your arms coming around you as if to protect yourself in a bear hug.

"Why can't you sleep?" he asks softly.

"Memories of the pit keep coming back."

"Ah, I see... Anything specific? Or just the pit in general?"

"The pit, and the disgusted looks, the whispered words, the shunning just because I was a multi," you whisper. "A disgrace."

His eyes soften and he pulls you into a gentle hug. "I know. Some people can't handle the idea of multis. They think we're freaks. They think that we're just abominations in the flesh. I've received the looks too."

"How did you get through it?"

He sighed. "You don't want to know."

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't want to know."

A pause, before a quiet, ashamed mumble. "Sex. S'was the only way anyone showed affection."

"Oh." What else could you say to that?

"But you didn't, did you?" he murmured. "You didn't sell your body to feel that."

"No," you breathe. "I didn't."

"Good."

"I still hate it. I hate that every time I close my eyes, all I see are the looks. That all I hear are the whispers. Even if I know I'm not alone. I hate that you went through it too."

He tightens his grip around you ever so slightly as he holds you close, his voice soft and comforting in your ear. "I know. But listen to me. It's over now, okay? You're with us now. You're with me. And I swear to you that nobody is going to hurt you or call you names. You're safe. You aren't a disgrace. You aren't a mistake. You're as beautiful as the stars, darling. They can't see that you're worth more than they are combined." He whispers the words he wishes someone had told him years ago. The words he needed to hear. Even now. "You don't deserve this. You don't deserve to be haunted by the past. Okay?"

"If I'm safe, why can't I sleep?" You whisper into his chest, as his arms tighten around you.

He lets out a soft sigh and begins gently rubbing your back with a hand, the other still holding you close to him, trying to comfort and soothe you. "Memories can haunt you. I know that all too well. But you're not going to let them win, okay? You're stronger than they are. Do you want to sleep here tonight?" His voice is soft as he gently kicks his door open a little wide, letting the light from his fireplace and the candles lit across the room, seep out into the hallway.

"I don't want to intrude," you murmur, looking down.

He tilts your head up to look at him, his eyes meeting yours. "Hey, you wouldn't be intruding, okay? I'm offering. Come on, you need to get some sleep. And I know a way I can get you to sleep if you trust me."

"How-"

He chuckled softly, a cheeky grin on his face. "Come on. You'll see. But first, you gotta trust me. I promise no funny business. I just want to help you get some sleep. Just let me change the sheets."

A small laugh falls from your lips. That's a promise you never thought you'd hear Swiss make. Espically considering all the times you've seen him bite the other ghouls, playfully of course.

"Okay," you whisper.

He smiles a soft and genuine one. One you've only seen him give Aurora when she brings him his favorite pastries. You walk in hestaintly as he moves to the bed, and strips it before quickly changing the sheets. When you offer to help, he tutts, and waves you to go and sit on one of the couches, telling you that it's not your mess. It's everyone's mess but yours. You can only sigh and comply, moving to sit on the couch. Not that the couch would be any cleaner.

He changes the sheets quickly, tossing the soiled ones down the laundry chute and putting clean ones down on the bed. He grabs fresh comforters from the closet and a few fuzzy blankets, arranging them carefully before fluffing his pillows.

"Come on. Lay down and close your eyes. I got this okay?"

You get up and carefully climb onto the bed, settling near the edge, nervously.

He chuckled a little bit and shook his head at your position, his hand going to grab your waist as he carefully pulled you closer to the middle of the bed. "You seriously want to try and fall off? Scoot closer, idiot."

You huff out a breath but allow him to move you, relaxing as his normal lighthearted demanor comes out again.

He smiles, a satisfied sigh falling from his lips as he wraps an arm around you, pulling you against his chest. This other hand went to gently brush through your hair, his voice soft and gentle. "There we go. That's better, right? Just relax and close your eyes a bit for me."

He watches as your eyes slowly flutter shut, his hand still gently brushing through your hair. Then he shifts slightly, adjusting so that he's on his back, and your head is on his chest, his heartbeat thrumming against your ear. "Good. Just like that. Now just listen. Try and match my breathing, yeah? In and out. In... out. Just focus on it."

You do, and the combination of his soft voice, his hand in your hair, andhis heartbeat in your ear, lulls you off to a peaceful slumber for the first time in weeks.

It doesn't take long for this to become a daily tradition. Swiss clears his nights for you, aranging for his fun to happen well in advance so he can change the sheets. The rest of the pack notice, but no one comments on it. Not when Swiss seems to have found a piece of himself again. No one dares to break it.

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

[not-the-blue]

world's greatest archer

[softpine]

This might be juvenile, but do you have any tips on not comparing yourself to others? (Especially when it comes to note count or popularity.) I’ve been posting a story for over a year and it hardly gets any traction. It’s tough for me to see new creators post and get hundreds or even thousands of notes. I hate that I’m doing this but don’t know how to quit it!

this is not juvenile!! i struggle with this myself, especially knowing that i hit my peak years ago and i've been on the decline ever since – but only by numbers alone! i'm more proud of my story than i've ever been, i'm more attached to my characters, i'm putting more love and thought into everything, but i had to be realistic with myself and understand that i'll never pull even half the notes i did in 2020. gone are the days when i would wake up to 3 new anons about my story and dms from people every day (i can't believe i used to get overwhelmed by it...) and i would be lying if i said it didn't make me sad sometimes, because we're humans and our brains are practically wired to crave the hit of happy chemicals you get from seeing the stupid number go up 😭 it does feel demotivating. it makes me feel less urgency to post quicker if i convince myself that no one is waiting for me anyway, which means i post less, which means even less people stick around, which makes me post less, and on and on. it's a tough thing for me to come to terms with in all honesty.

but it helps to remember that i would be writing even if no one is reading. and i know that, because i have! i've written entire novel-length fics that i've never published, i've written countless short stories in the frozen pines universe that i'll never post, i've created alternate universes that will never be shown, etc. i do it because the idea is in my head and it needs to Get Out and i'm kinda just a conduit for that. that might not apply to you, and that's okay! everyone is different. the important thing is to really sit down and think about WHY you write and what you get out of it. which part of the process makes you happiest? what makes you feel a sense of fulfillment / satisfaction? play to your strengths. try not to spend your time doing things you think other people will enjoy and instead, spend more time on the things that make you happy. for me, i haaaaate editing and i always have, so lately i've been trying to speed through it a little bit quicker even if it means the final product won't be as appealing to others. (this is still a work in progress for me...) i have more fun when i experiment with different writing styles, which might not appeal to others because it takes longer and i don't really have a recognizable style, but i don't care anymore because i'm having fun! ask yourself what YOU want from your story, and then write for yourself and only yourself.

essentially what i'm saying is: there will ALWAYS be people more popular than you, and there's no guarantee that when you find the popularity you seek, you'll be able to keep it. so you need to find some sort of intrinsic motivation to continue or you'll just keep comparing yourself to others forever and you'll deny yourself the joy of creation! "comparison is the thief of joy" could not be more true!!

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

[rapidhighway]

every time I come back home I experience new mental illnesses -_-

[bobmckenzie]

me: oh my godddd that shift was so longgg I hate working so much 😩😩😩😫😫😫

the shift: literally only 5 hours

(ALSO sorry I am SO behind on notifs!!! planning to catch up tomorrow after work but THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for the anniversary wishes!!! 🥹💜💜)

[jichanxo]

how it started:

how it's going:

[babacontainsmultitudes]

80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.

[vraska-theunseen]

the bible is so boring what's the ideal size of paper for rolling joints