#I've been taking so many shit for so long
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yanmuffins · 2 days ago
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waiter! waiter! more phineas and ferb reader pls!
I wonder how the batfam would react once they catch reader inventions on a random tuesday, like, "hm, what a nice day to look out on the window and HOLY SHIT WHY IS THERE A GIANT ROBOT SPITING FIRE WHILE RIDING A ROLLERCOASTER IN MY BACKYARD???"
the events that would follow this incident would be funny and exasperating, me thinks
also, wouldn't it be funnier if Perry the Platypus was part of the JL? and like, no one knows his identity but Superman, and neither of them are willing to talk about it-
I know it would be very unlikely, since everyone there would have enough neurons to recognize a platypus with and without a hat, but for the sake of shit and giggles, just think of how funny that would be
welp, I needed to get that outta ma chest, I hope I at least made you laugh a little, because seriously this is one of the best ideas I've seen in this tag and I can't stop thinking and giggling about it
Stay well!
context.
first: i was not expecting this concept to be so popular!! the responses i've gotten from everyone are so amazing!! ��( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) thank you for the ask, anon!! it always makes my day.
i am formally announcing that i will be turning phineas and ferb reader into a fic now. it's too good a concept to pass up. something more light-hearted to work between the other fics i'm writing.
batfamily finding out about reader's whacky inventions would be an event. it so wholeheartedly shatters the image they had of reader to the point they just have to sit with what the hell just happened for a while before they even consider what to do about you next. still so many things that don't make sense. their newest case is how the fuck did we go this long without finding out (Y/N) has been building mechas in our backyard and why are those things always gone when it's convenient.
then the realizations just start dropping on them like an anvil on a looney tunes character. and they kinda feel like shit, cause how did they not notice? really puts into perspective how they've neglected you all this time. so many stunts you pulled right under their nose, on their backyard, their garage, throughout gotham and metropolis. ok, were out there being creative and amazing and you sure know how to spend the wayne family money, they'll give you that, but it was so irresponsible of you! who knows what could've gone wrong. you're not like them! you're a civilian with no training, the only regular teenager in the family, you're the last person who should be exposing themselves doing all that.
bruce goes off on you, screaming about how could you be so reckless, you did all of this behind his back– what? what do you mean he gave his permission? and he is floored, devastated, blood pressure up, when you remind him of every instance you dropped by his office with a document for him to sign or to ask for permission, with proof as you pull out every paper he put his signature without a second look.
and that, ladies and gentlemen, is when reader's dynamic with the batfam does a complete 180 and their little yandere antennae start going off. no more whacky cartoonish shenanigans. at least not without proper supervision. they know you're not a fan of this new arrangement, but you gotta understand they let you go unchecked for way too long! they'll drown you in family activities so you don't even have to worry about it. who wants to build a teleportation machine, anyway? just join them for family movie night.
as for perry, that is going to take them a while longer to figure out. bruce just can't stand another insane discovery, so when batman sees an intelligent platypus wearing a fedora and walking on two feet on justice league headquarters (if we're going by the idea that he's a part of JL), he's just going to think "my kid has a pet platypus. huh."
oh, consider:
dick: "damian, you knew all this time?! our sibling could've gotten into serious trouble! why didn't you tell us about this?"
damian: stares into the camera like he's in the office.
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givingtorebent · 18 hours ago
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Gen Z - lefty he/him who quit playing CS:GO and went to a pan-handle college (only mentioned because I've talked to a lot of 'radicalized guys' mentioned here.)
I don't like the framing of this post.
"Gen Z's radicalization" isn't just a GenZ problem, as are the problems millennials and Gen Alpha, Gen X face. Takes a fucking village to deradicalize?
Many of these guys are confused, incredible amounts of them are lonely with no outlet except their niche ass internet and their similarly online friends.
We're a generation which for a large part grew up with the internet, was fed the idea that college and working would do us well as we watched millennials get shafted. A lot of these guys are hurting, disillusioned, and scared and don't know where to put that energy (these are the ones I'm more hopeful for.) When someone talks to their LIGETIMATE PROBLEMS and points that energy in unproductive dangerous directions they are also fucked over.
There has been an uptick in the really weird shit, a lot of it has been getting normalized. Not good.
I don't think a culture shift will come from policing proper ways of being feminine [see problems with moral purity.] Misogyny will be misogynistic.
A lot of them do it because they think it's cool, funny, will score them points with something or someone.
As stupid and shit brained as this sounds I legitimately think a lot of this comes down to being cooler, more accepting, and nicer than the fuckwads.
I don't believe all of them can be brought over, but I think a lot more are willing to be converted. Most of them haven't really thought about a lot of this shit that much. It's been their default.
That little brother/boyfriend/husband/friend watching some wack shit? You can argue with him for 4 hours and he'll leave annoyed at you for thinking he's stupid. Put them on better shit - put them on funnier, cooler, more thought provoking shit. Let the funnier cooler shit make their old shit look weak. BRING THEM INTO THE FOLD. Don't alienate yourself if possible.
Being in the slime lobbies, swimming in the petridishes. Calling someone homophobic gets less milage than asking why they care so much, why a couple dudes or girls can't do what they want in this free ass country. I generally play the libertarian, sometimes it works.
Genuinely caring goes a long way. It's tough work. A lot of them feel abandoned. And I don't think that's an invalid feeling for them to have. That's not your fault, maybe not even your problem to fix. But it's a problem that people radicalizing these boys and men capitalize on.
Fuck. This sucks.
gen z has to reckon with its radicalization problem. you are not a morally pure and superior generation of youth come to save the world, your men and boys are radicalized at an unprecedented level and you ignore it because it’s too hard to address but you have to. these boys are in your classes, they date your friends, you know them and you cannot continue to pretend this is an “old white guy” problem
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onlymimiwastaken · 2 days ago
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Warrior Penelope stuff cause I've been listening to too many EPIC genderbent covers, and I wanted to give my take on it (also cuz I kinda want to draw it one day)
- Ares as Penelope's patron, absolutely! But Ares was never too worshipped in Greece, not even in Sparta (no one kinda gave a shit about him except for during war and thought he was kinda gross). So my lore take version thing is that ATHENA wanted to be Penelope's patron (she had already an eye on Ody kinda) but Ares saw his chance, got to it first and became attached to Penelope without wanting to admit it, also because she saw the good and useful in him. Athena still watches over Penelope (especially after her and Ares platonically break up, which she finds really stupid) and is the one who does her best to protect Ithaca while she's gone. She's by Ody's side while he misses his wife and is mostly the reason why the Suitors hadn't taken over yet.
- To get Ares to realize his mistake, Athena tricks him into helping Telemachus defeat Antinous in Little Wolf because free bloodshed, only to end up sensitized by Telemachus because holy shit, my friend's son is here almost dying to this ASSHOLE who thinks he's so much stronger than MY friend the queen and even me like who tf does he think he is. Athena makes Ares fucking rational for once. And maybe even Aphrodite, as well, gets some damn sense in his mind like "they love each other like you and I and my girl is doing her best to get home you're going to apologize rn"
- ctimene holds a claymore double her height with no problems
- penelope is more "cold ruthless" than Odysseus, in a way that she's still poised (until the end or when she's really brought to her knees which is disturbing) while doing merciless stuff. She's emotionless a lot more (just on the surface)
- Ares was the one to give Penelope the idea of going to war instead of Odysseus, for obvious reasons. And Pen is really a mastermind among the Greeks ofc
- Ares and Pen fought in their My Goodbye version because she "held back her power while her friends got devoured" "she didn't even fight Polyphemus, didn't even TRY to kill him" "hid behind her wits to get things done". Because when fighting Polyphemus, she knew that if she tried to kill Polyphemus while he was asleep, they'd be stuck in that cave forever (like in the real Odyssey). And knew that fighting while her friends got killed would slow them down and probably get more people dead. And when they ran away, she didn't go back to kill the Cyclops even if she could've because of yes, mercy, but also because she would've awakened all the other Cyclops and sailing away was faster, better. Ares deemed this cowardice. Crazy thing, since one of the most important things to him is courage.
- Ares overstimates Penelope's power. Like, yes, she's exceptional, but still HUMAN. With her limits. He hasn't dealt with a human personally in years so he doesn't understand this, so his expectations are ridiculously high, which ends up breaking Penelope.
- During 600 strike, Penelope can actually breathe underwater and not hold her breath for such a long time and be fine because she's half naiad (yes, they are fresh water nymphs but still). Also this may make her even stronger around water (to a certain degree, she's still very mortal)
- calypso is pansexual
this is already a lot, ill add more when i think about it lol (also if i realize any of these ideas don't make sense)
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pocket-solas · 3 days ago
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I love your blog and I hope this doesn’t come across rude but I feel like you and a lot of people are overlooking the glaring issues this game has. The writing is abysmal and they are clearly trying to pander the series towards a new audience. Whatever lore they had built up has not been addressed or has been trickled down into crumbs. That ending with Solas and the inquisitor was ridiculously bad and I don’t think we should praise them for giving us fans crumbs when they had built up this idea of a solavellan reunion and us getting a satisfying resolution. Ghil Dirthalen, a massive creator has openly been shitting on people in a recent tweet because we are ‘upset’ and put it down to people getting too invested into their headcanons. No, it is because we have been waiting for SO long, (some people who have been OG fans since Origins) and their beloved series gets turned into this? I’m tired of seeing empty praise and people not calling out Bioware’s shortcomings. This is the worst dragon age game we have ever gotten and at this point, I hope the IP dies.
Hey, normally I wouldn't post this to my blog cause I'm trying to stay positive but I do agree with everything you've said!
I don't think anything I've seen was "well-written," and I do think people have a right to be disappointed.
But hear me out now, if you will. I am simply thrilled we got a Solavellan resolution. A happy one. One where they don't both die, because honestly fam, that's what I was expecting.
To be frank, I don't care about the game as a whole. It will probably be quite a while before I play it, if I even do. I was solely invested in what happens to Solas and Lavellan.
Bestie, we got a kiss. A kiss. I can't even complain because a year ago I never thought there'd be anything ever again aside from fanwork for those two, my OTP since I was 18.
Am I peeved about some things I've seen, like the lore being messed up, etc, yes. But again, my expectations were rock bottom, so maybe I'm feeling it a bit less.
I'm sorry so many people are so upset, and I'm trying to spread positivity where I can for those who felt let down ❤️🫂
I know how much these stories have meant to people for literal decades. I know how much Solavellan means to so many people. And now, because of the ending we were given, it opens up a whole world where we can explore what happens next for those two.
And as an aside, I know there are people who are LOVING the game and are thrilled with the Solavellan ending (myself included) and the last thing I want to do is take that joy away from them.
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genderqueerdykes · 2 days ago
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Okay, so I've been a lesbian for a while and don't know some of the terminology, and I'm kinda confused on how men can be lesbians (specifically cis men). Mostly cause I've never heard anyone talk about it before, adding a long I also have a question. So could I still identify as a lesbian if I find myself attracted to men or masc presenting people? I've seen people say you can't so yea! (Sorry if this doesn't make sense or if I came off as rude)
hello there!
the argument that lesbians can't be men is transphobic, intersexist, gender essentialist, exorsexist and a lot of other very exhausting and historically inaccurate ways. it has nothing to do with real lesbianism but rather rad fems and political lesbians online trying to turn the lesbian community into a "girls only" club where they can shit on men and be transphobic and toxic
people love to jump to the assumption that i'm taking about cis men first and foremost, which i'm not- although i genuinely don't care if a cis man identifies as a lesbian i'm not a cop and you shouldn't be, either. we all need to collectively kill the cops in our minds. no, this will not create an influx of "cishet men invading lesbian spaces." cishet men can literally already choose to identify as lesbians if they want to and they literally do not. most cishet men are lesbophobic and disgusted by irl lesbians and only find lesbianism attractive in porn. if cishet men wanted to lesbians, they already would be. also again, i'm not a cop, so it's not my business if a cis man does identify for any reason as a lesbian. if that concept makes one uncomfortable, they can choose to ignore that person.
this is not the conversation we're having, so it's best to realize that there's a far deeper issue here.
the people who tell you lesbians can't be men are specifically targeting butch lesbians, transmascs, ftm, trans men, trans male, bigender, multigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, and genderfuck lesbians. lesboys, boydykes, lesbians who are non binary, lesbians who don't have a gender, lesbians who are men only, lesbians who are two spirit, butches who are men. these are all people who have been in the lesbian community all along, and this is who is being targeted. anyone who tells you a lesbian cannot be a man is either a rad fem or someone who has been indoctrinated by one, or someone who is very confused and ill informed at best
butchphobia is heavily linked to this behavior. many butch lesbians are women and women only and that's a legitimate expression of butchhood, but MANY and i mean many butches throughout history have been transmascs and trans men, or have been men in other capacities, such as trans women who are also men, and other multigender people.
bigender people exist in every identity. id on't know why people conveniently love to just forget about this when it comes to the argument of lesbian men. it's not just you, i get this sentiment all the time. we need to realize that multigender people exist. we need to collectively accept that genderfluid and genderqueer and genderfuck people exist and they can be lesbians, too. many butch lesbians are literally men and it's not right to kick them out of the community. please remember that the "lesbians can only be women and only if they're cis and not Too Butch" mindset directly stems from lesbian separatism and political lesbianism. i'd suggest researching those topics, they were at their peak in the 1980s and 90's in the United States and caused a lot of damage that we're still seeing the ripples from
lesbians shouldn't have to get some kind of extra or approval to be men. i really just don't get this mindset. you have to ask yourself why this even matters to begin with. it doesn't. it's not harming anyone else for a lesbian to be a man. if you're not attracted to them you don't have to be. if you are attracted to them, it doesn't invalidate your lesbianism. bigender, multigender, non binary, genderfluid, genderfuck, gnc, intersex, trans, and other gender variant people shouldn't be banned from the lesbian community for no reason.
also i keep begging people to do so but please research the life and identity of Leslie Feinberg. zie was a polygender butch lesbian who did identify as a man. i repeat this phrase a lot but if you don't know who zie is, your knowledge of lesbian history of very limited. lesie was a very prolific activist for lesbian and trans rights, as well as many other important issues. leslie wasn't some random tumblruser or what have you, there are people who have existed well outside of the bounds of this website who have identified as lesbian men. this phenomenon is not new, it's not relegated to the internet, and it's not something that people should have never heard of before.
i suggest researching lesbian history outside of tumblr. i'm one of the few who isn't, but most of the popular bloggers in the lesbian community on here is proudly transphobic as fuck. when they say "I'M A LESBIAN, MEN DNI!!!!!!" they are PROUDLY showing their transphobia. a lesbian who is bigender, multigender, non binary, transmasc, genderfluid, and so on is trans. this is transphobia. this is lesbophobia. lesbians can be men whether or not it makes an individual comfortable. there are also trans women who are... also men. we can't keep allowing this to be a "threat". we are killing our own when we do this
i'm glad you took the time to ask. i get heated on this issue, so this is a rather passionate response because i'm just outright sick of people acting like the idea of a lesbian identifying a man is somehow unheard of. lesbians are well known for being some of the most genderfucked people in the queer community. we struggle with gender our entire lives due to the expectations and stressors placed on our shoulders, as well as who we are on the inside. it will never unheard of for lesbians to be genderqueer.
i hope this helps somewhat. if you have any more questions feel free to ask. i will continue talking about this until people understand that lesbian men are not a threat to anyone. manhood belongs in lesbianism whether or not that makes you or anyone else uncomfortable. it's an experience that will continue to happen no matter what people have to say in conjecture and theory- lesbian men will continue to show up to lesbian and other pride meetings. we will continue to talk and write about our experiences. and the world will keep turning as a result. the sun will rise again. and no one was hurt simply by the existence of some lesbians being men.
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white--moon · 2 days ago
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He thinks Ichigo's probably being genuine, at least mostly. If their roles were reversed, Shiro's sure he'd find himself hoping Ichigo's new boyfriend was in on it, but Shiro's always been a jealous, possessive asshole. He nods, but not with much conviction. He could have someone check in on his cop. A text to the right person is all it would take. Or he could probably do it himself if he didn't want to involve anyone else. "Haven't had much time to do that."
Ichigo seems to be trying hard to comfort him, but none of that is much comfort, honestly. "Great." There's a little sarcasm in his tone. "Everything I've ever wanted." Except Ichigo, of course, and really Ichigo's what he wants more than anything else. He'd even try damn hard to get clean again for Ichigo.
That sounds an awful lot like it's not going to be Sharpie next time. He's going to have to find a way to repay all these favors Ichigo thinks Shiro's not appreciating enough.
He nods and pulls out his phone, shooting a quick text with a name and phone number to Ichigo, so he can't forget to do it later.
Ichigo glances over and he shrugs. It wasn't much more than that. He doesn't really get attached to things easily, but they're still his things. "I still don't let just anyone touch my clothes. Just so you're aware." The door to his room has a lock on it, half to keep potential drunk and/or high guests from wandering in here and touching his shit.
Shiro trails Ichigo, watching as that sweater comes off, the harness goes on, and then the sweater layers over top of it. He knows it's a practicality thing. Ichigo likes to be packing, probably especially right now, with an active threat., but fucking hell it looks kinky and hot as fuck. He wants to slide his fingers under those straps. "Huh?" He glances up to meet Ichigo's attention, then down at himself. "Oh." He's still in the same clothes he wore to the bar last night. There's a smear of dried blood from Ichigo's wound. Looking good is honestly pretty far from his mind right now, so he goes for a low effort outfit he knows will still work for him. He pulls out a pair of dark, acid washed jeans with too many perfectly aligned tears across the front of the thighs to have been accidental and a tight fitting, black, long sleeve shirt with a wide neck that falls off one shoulder and leaves most of his collar bone exposed. He shakes his hair out after pulling it all out of the back of the shirt. Then he digs out a pair of mid calf boots and tug on. "Good enough?"
Wandering his own halls by himself isn't exactly new or unusual, but it feels particularly hollow and lonely. He pauses to turn the temperature warmer by a couple of degrees when he passes the thermostat, but he's pretty sure it's not actually cold in his house. It's just him.
He detours to a sitting area he doesn't actually use often. It's used by party guests more than anything. But it has a needlessly large television, which he turns on just to flip through news stations for a few minutes, to see what's being said about him and the car bombing and the shooting. It pays to stay at least semi up to date on current events, especially the events that directly relate to him. He flips channels for fifteen minutes, but it's still so fresh that the stations are still mostly just replaying footage and describing the scene, not speculating or making things up. That'll change, he knows, but for now, replay after replay of what happened isn't really what he wants to see. It wasn't the first time his life has been threatened, nor the first time he's been shot at, but he's been feeling particularly fragile this whole day. He sighs, closes his eyes and scrubs at his face for a second, pushing away thoughts of everything he's got in this mansion that could help him slow down, mellow out. He told Ichigo he wouldn't. But Ichigo's another sore subject to think about.
He pulls his phone from his back pocket, glancing at the time absently as he dials. His on again/off again, not-boyfriend picks up on the first ring, sounding calm, but the kind of calm that comes from professionalism and not true calm. His voice is quiet, making Shiro think he must be either at work or around people that don't need to overhear who he's talking to.
Shiro feels distracted and isn't quite sure why he called. Because he needs a chaperone. Because he's stupid.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He says into the phone for a third time as he steps into his room to finally start digging out clothes for Ichigo.
His bathroom light is on and he pauses, free hand straying to the handle of his switch blade, before it occurs to him that it's probably Ichigo. There's a delay in his response that a cop wouldn't miss. "No, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna stay here." His not-boyfriend sounds worried in that controlled, trying not to sound worried way. It makes Shiro feel guilty as hell, especially when steps to a place in the room that lets him see into the bathroom and he confirms that it's Ichigo. "I dunno, I haven't decided. Might stay at the penthouse for a while, might get outta town for a few days- Yeah, I know... I'll text you, ok?" He waits a beat, then hangs up the call.
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Okay, imma be real? I think this fandom gets way too upset over characterization differences between books (this'll be a long one just let me explain).
I see a lot of posts in the WOF fandom about how certain characters got ruined in the next books or how their characterizations were completely screwed over. A lot of posts also are like, "Oh, Tui messed up X character in this book so badly!" Or "All their personality has changed in this book, what happened to my favorite character?" and so on like that.
This kind of thing, ESPECIALLY after rereading the series recently, then coming back to the fandom, pisses me off to NO END for a couple of reasons.
1. Tui wasn't "ruining" your favorite characters personality in the next book, because the focus of the next book wasn't the character in question. The spotlight is on another character entirely, and trying to micromanage THAT many personalities to their truest form is INCREDIBLY difficult.
2. Plotting out character personalities is a GRUELING process, coming from someone who does a lot of writing. ESPECIALLY if it's original characters, because then you can't just pull from fandom or canon, you gotta do that shit yourself. And over the course of the canon, their personality is gonna change!
This brings me to my last point and probably the biggest reason:
3. EVERY BOOK IS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.
This has been a STAPLE of the Wings of Fire books from the VERY BEGINNING. With every new book, we as readers are jumping from one dragon's mental space to the next, learning about their traits and quirks and how they perceive the world around them, every single time we pick up the next book in the series. It's what helps give us those deeper insights into the characters that yall get so angry about when they aren't immediately represented in the next book, when that dragon is no longer our spotlight.
Also, when we are learning about the other dragons before we jump to their perspectives, the character that we are reading about is already making assumptions and assigning traits that they think correlate with the character in question! We are seeing the world through their eyes and thoughts, so when we move to another perspective, that dragon is doing the exact same thing, even though now we know more about one of the other characters!
And then the fandom gets hissy when the first character gets relegated into the background and assigned some base personality traits, even though that's exactly what happened before.
Personally, I think the ones who suffer from this the MOST are Clay in Arc 1 and Moon in Arc 2. Clay, according to fans, gets boiled down to nothing but his love for food, even though we see in his, Sunny's, and Peril's perspectives that he's more than that. His behaviors also directly correlate to why he gets that kind of background trait (although that's a whole other rant), and every time I see someone saying that Clay got screwed over by characterization, I take psychic damage.
And Moon. God, yall, Moon gets it THE WORST FROM YOU. I've seen SO MANY POSTS about how she got boiled down to nothing but a love triangle piece in the later arcs, which is only partly true, but we also see from ALL OF THOSE PERSPECTIVES (Qibli and Winter specifically) that the traits they're assigning her are both different aspects of how her character worked in the first book and what two lovestruck, moons-blinded dumbasses are seeing and choosing to view her as.
Her book even SHOWS how much of a NIGHTMARE it would be to have every character be deep and know their inner thoughts at all times. Moon herself gets mentally and physically overwhelmed near CONSTANTLY during the majority of her book, and I'm not even technically factoring in Darkstalkers' influence.
All of that to say, Wings of Fire fandom, is to stop losing your SHIT over how your characters might seem flat or not like they were in their books. All of these perspectives are different, and if you motherfuckers actually took some time to reread the books while actively LOOKING for those hints of your silly guys being the same silly guys, just from another dragon's POV, then maybe yall wouldn't be so pissed off about characterization in the books nearly HALF as often.
I don't even care how much discourse this is gonna spark I just felt the incredible urge to tell yall to use those skills you learned in English class and chill the FUCK OUT on this topic.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Now go use your eyes :>
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rei-ismyname · 16 hours ago
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X-MEN #7 From The Ashes
Possibly the biggest downside to the circular, repetitive nature of X-Men comics is that real life is awful enough. Jettisoning the hope of the Krakoan age for the misery porn of From The Ashes feels kinda callous and depressing in a world where there are multiple ongoing genocides and the USA just said yes to fascism again. Nevertheless, join me in some light escapism - a little Magneto goes a long way. Spoilers for X-Men #7.
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I've also been spelling Jed Mackay's name wrong. Sorry
Running throughout this issue is Magneto's flashback to The Iron Night. The 'this is Logan behaviour' exchange from the previews has been all over my dash and it's great to get more of this dynamic. It's fantastic to see someone in universe say it out loud - Logan is a whiny little bitch, often a hypocrite, and can be blind to his immortality privilege. Scott knows that better than anyone - his wife's boyfriend throws a tanty like no other. They love him, but it's another reason why he's not the best Wolverine. I hope 'Logan behaviour' sticks around in the fandom.
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This is Logan behaviour, Idie
I appreciate the informal nature of the Piper discussion. For one, you don't want to scare the kid or make her feel unwelcome. Idie said that she 'couldn't wait for you (Cyclops) and Magneto' re: Idie - having Psylocke be the one to spell it out for her is effective. The X-Men IS a team and the stakes are incredibly high. Besides, as Beast said in my first screenshot they have a Cerebro. This test could have been done from afar without the risk, and it's implied that it was.
I'm enjoying seeing Idie behaving compassionately, but it looks like she's got some serious anger and mistrust of authority (both justified) from Krakoa. It's great she's getting this kind of character focus and I hope it's followed up on. So many threads and beats have been setup that are likely to be disrupted by the Raid on Graymalkin event kicking off next week, but I'll reserve my judgement on that for when this first arc is concluded.
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This is Logan behaviour, wild sentinel.
Gotta love Max and Scott's friendship being shown as they drink crappy beers and bask in Magneto rhetoric. I don't want to question the expert, but is this sentinel Wild or wild? It's clearly not an ORCHIS Iron Man model, but Wild Sentinel has a very specific meaning.
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Okay, clearly Wild. It's not attacking either of them, though. Kind of Cyclops to spell out the Star Trek Borg adaptive schtick they've got going on. This is the action scene of the issue, the mandated violence.
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I don't mean that entirely pejoratively either. I'm just as susceptible to the Magneto and Cyclops power fantasy as the next person, though it's a bit of a dirty trick to wait until issue 7 to show it.
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This is NOT Logan behaviour, Magneto.
Sigh. I love your sense of drama Magneto. Play to the crowd, old man. I hope your monologue doesn't become ironic.
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Uh oh, looks like his knees are weak and arms are heavy. Vomit on his sweater already...
So we see the moment Mags' powers start to shit the bed, right after a Wild Sentinel attack. I'd be suspecting Cassandra Nova's involvement just off these two data points tbh. Which idiot resurrected her anyway?
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Oh, fuck off. Logan behaviour, Mackay.
R-LDS sounds like horse shit to me. Scott says 'we don't know that for sure' so how does this speculative condition have an acronym already? Mags is speaking as if it's a fact, but he doesn't even have the same body The Five resurrected. Maybe he has Umari-Key-Waiting Room-Brashear Portal Syndrome. Obviously he's scared but this feels like an idiot ball moment, and a cynical jab at Krakoa. The Five was something they got right, even with Sinister in the mix. The implications would be insane. 16 million Genoshans were resurrected, 250k Krakoans (give or take), a whole bunch of vulnerable human children via The Phoenix Foundation, Captain America.
No, there's way too many data points that apply to Magneto alone to make seriously considering The Five's resurrections as the source of patient zero's malady. It would be scientifically irresponsible to get to the point of naming it and then an acronym for that. Mags is good enough at science to know this, and Beast is too. I'm no scientist, but it manifested during a fight with a Wild Sentinel. I assume they have better resources than the Marvel wiki I'm using, but that robot/Cassandra Nova is my prime suspect - the lady they know for certain to be involved in ongoing genetic fuckery - activating X-Genes. Though not Piper Cobb...
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Or yes Piper Cobb? Smash cut cliffhangers aside, this would be a great time to retcon Homo Sapiens Superior right the fuck out of existence. It's never made sense, and not just the 'Superior' part. Again, I'm not a scientist but I'm certain that's not how phylogeny works. They're mutated humans, but I don't live in 616 which canonically operates on impossible physics, so idk. My fingers are crossed but my expectations are nil.
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That is Logan behaviour, masked kidnapper
Okay, we'd known from solicits that Beast would be getting beat down in captivity at Graymalkin. I had speculated he'd give himself up to get inside, but the ol' bag over the head works too. I dig his outfit.
X-Men #7 is worth reading IMO, and it's one of the better ones based off Magneto content alone. Last issue I wrote that the formula was becoming easier to spot, and I stand by that. A handful of character moments, some new information about one of the ongoing mysteries but it piles more questions on top of half answers and speculation. For example, we get to see Scott and Max fight a sentinel and be friends. There's new information there but a LOT more questions. The characters are at the point of absurd speculation which raises tension but doesn't make them look very competent. To kick off the event 'Raid on Graymalkin' they went with a final page bag over the head instead of any choice and comic book events notoriously derail everything so friends can argue and punch each other.
What did you think? Thanks for reading.
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inklessletter · 8 months ago
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I know this isn't the place to cry and whine but I just need to let out of my chest that I've been trapped for a while in a neverending chain of disappointments, and I feel like I can't take it anymore. But that's a lie, because everytime I think that, I can take another one.
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beef-brisket · 14 hours ago
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The next day, Adam informed Charlie that he was off to finalize the deal with Vox. It surprisingly didn't vomit when he said that.
Charlie: Thank you, Adam!
Adam: You're welcome, my dear!
Adam watched as the seconds ticked over. 11:58. Not long now. He was ready for whatever Vox wanted to do. He could handle him if he got too rough.
He sighed, it was time to go.
Lucifer watched from the down the hall as Adam sunks into the floor surrounded by shadow. Lucifer knew it was time for him to get going. Adam rose from the floor, directly behind Vox and his giant screens. What a freak.
Adam: Vox.
Vox jumped and turned to Adam, which a huge smile on his face.
Vox: Adam! Hello!
Adam: Shall we shake on our deal? I would like to get this hour over and done with. Pardon the insult.
Vox: Of course!
Vox held out his hand. God, Adam was going to regret this.
Adam: One thing. The princess is curious about this "main attraction," you mentioned. I'd like to be shown that, as part of the deal.
Vox: I completely understand. You'll be shown it as soon as our hour is up. I'm in full control. There will be no retaliation after this hour. No interpretations. You will be compliant and submissive. You'll at least try and look like you're enjoying me. There will be no complaints, no stopping. Once we start, you're mine. Until 1pm. And in return, I'll advertise the Hazbin Hotel, now that it's been proven that sinners can be redeemed, I'll give you a unended subscription to my angelic security service and Intel directly from the horses mouth. Oh, and I'll throw in the promise that the few thousand clips of you getting your ass beat by the first man stay out of public consumption. Deal~?
Adam was going to regret this. But he couldn't deny that it was a good deal, if it was someone other than him spending an hour alone with Vox.
Adam: Deal. They shook hands. A burst of electric blue sparked out from their hands.
Vox smiled. It was sickening.
Vox: Fantasic! You know, Adam. You may have gotten an upgrade in power, but so have I. Since our last little trist, I had to make some changes. I'm sure you'll like them.
Adam: ...I'm sure, I will.
Be put on his sweetest smile, it was part of the deal.
Vox moved closer, softy touching his hand: How I've dreamed of this. To touch you. Don't worry, I'll be gentle~.
With a snap of his fingers, they were suddenly in a bedroom, cords and wire wrapped around Adam's arms, tying him to the bed.
Vox: Hm. Too many layers~. Get rid of them.
Adam tensed as cables buried their way into his clothes and ripped them apart.
Adam growled: Vox-
Vox: Uh huh! No complaints! Don't worry. You'll enjoy this.
Adam kept his eyes on Vox as he pulled off his jacket and shirt, leaving him in his pants. He slowly crawled onto the bed.
Vox: I've always wanted to know. Do you have hooves? Or something else~?
Adam: Really? That's what you've been wondering?
Vox: Of course! Look at you. You're gorgeous. How are you, a sinner? You like an angel~.
Adam tensed but still smiled as Vox ran his hands down his chest to his stomach.
Vox: Let me please you. You'll feel more than satisfied after this hour. You'll come back begging fore more, trust me~.
Adam: I-I'm sure I will...
Adam watched as Vox started undoing his pants, it was taking so much willpower not to crush him in his tentacles. It was only an hour.
Vox: Oh- holy shit. Aren't you a treat~.
Adam blushed with embarrassment and looked away. His pants and underwear were fully off. He knew this was going to happen, but somehow Vox made him feel dirty, and he hasn't even been touched properly yet.
Vox: Don't worry, Adam. I can fill you up, just right~.
Adams eyes widened as he saw that Vox has two cocks. He was already lined up. There was no way he could take both of them. Not yet.
Adam: V-Vox... I...
Vox: Shh, Adam. I've got you. And you've got me~. All of me~.
Lowkey want an au where Adam has Alastors' powers.
The tentacles
The eyes
The changing size
The shadows
The sass
The deal making
Him owning Husk and Nifty
The musical numbers
The radio control
The tentacles- have I mentioned that before?
The rivalry with Lucifer
Maybe he replaces Alastor entirely. No Alastor. Only Adam. It's always been Adam.
Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.
Only Adam lol This is good! His Husk and Nifty could be Lute and Peter.
He doesn't have to smile all the time does he?
Yessss, and he plays rock instead of jazz lol And yes of course there is a rivalry lol
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daddy-long-legssss · 1 month ago
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you're all tarted up and you don't look the same but it just gets worse [1] [2] [3] [4]
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khaotunq · 5 months ago
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A Scene for a Scene: Kieta Hatsukoi Episode 1 (2021, Japan) ♥ My Love Mix-Up! Episode 1 (2024, Thailand)
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xiii-e · 2 days ago
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[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]
◂▸ Oh hell, hi!! (let me triple check ECHO's running- yep, yep okay that's good whew)
XIII▸ You checked about four times earlier Helios-8, I'm sure she's doing everything you intended her to. And the sentiment is mutual, INDIGO :} I've not had the chance to meet many others under the Project designation! Usually I'm deployed solo, then integrated with a squad of ordinary Legionnaires in the field.
◂▸ Yeah no, same I don't get to meet many folk from other sectors, let alone the NHP related ones- it's rad to meet you! (really though, can I have my datapad back for a second I just want to make sure-)
XIII▸ (alright alright, but I'm sure it's the exact same code you've been running for the last few messages) I look forward to whenever we get to talk next, INDIGO. I'd be quite interested to hear about the Project you were a part of :} maybe we can swap stories some time.
XIII▸ signing off.
◂▸ Okay it's just me (Lio) now, yeah I can understand that. Glad you got out, Indy o7
I don't know when exactly you managed to slip the leash or what sector your Project was under, but at least in bio-med and the FC sector shit has somehow managed to become Even More of an ethical nightmare in the last 8 years :/ I'm trying to keep things detail-light until I can upload documents backing up what I have to say but, to be blunt about it: Turtie doesn't know if they want out yet.
With everything their Project line IS they absolutely should but, HA did a number on their psyche during the conditioning phase. Part of why I'm trying to gently encourage some recreational rulebreaking by running ECHO when we're chatting, see if I can build them up to it, but it's going to be a long road. They don't even think they're a person, really. [sigh]
◂▸ I want out, pretty damn badly if I'm honest, might pick your brain about that at some point, if you're willing to share your story. But I'm not just going to abandon them here so, hopefully their legal case swings in favour of Union, and hard. Otherwise, I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Anyway. Reason I bring it up is, they wouldn't sell you out they're not that kind of guy, but they're probably going to sound like a patriot (ugh) for a while before I can start breaking them out of it. I can vouch for the fact they're not actually little mx perfect soldier, but I thought a heads up would go a long way toward making it clear this isn't who they are. It's how HA made them.
eughhh, I hate being part of the FC sector.
◂▸ sorry bout the inpromtu lecture there. I think I just managed to freak myself out lol, but cheers for reaching out and saying hi! It's good to see someone who made it out :] hope you're living well out there, wherever you are (don't tell me, better I don't know while I'm still employed you know how it is)
Take it easy o/
//
XIII▸ Well. I suppose I should introduce myself.
XIII▸ Hello, to all those I haven't met- which, will be most of you realistically. I'm Project XIII-E, otherwise refered to as Thirteen-E. Just Thirteen works too. After certain recent... events shall we say, a representative of the Union DoJ/HR insisted that I be given the oppertunity to meet with people outside of Harrison Purview while discussions regarding my status are underway, since things are dragging out somewhat.
XIII▸ So... this omninet account was created, with the assistance of Helios-8 [◂▸Hi folks o/ ] a fellow Project who understands all of this better than I do. He's volunteered to be my minder while I'm figuring all this out. For now, I suppose- more about me? What's important... I'm a trained field medic and basic mechanic, intended to opperate as a mobile assistance personnel wherever the fight is thickest. I can patch you, or your mech up from most things. I'm a Lancaster pilot; not the most common thing in the legion I know, but IPS-N knew what they were doing with the old lannies. I've made some alterations. M1 Leatherback is my pride and joy. I'm registered under the callsign Cicatrice, but my name is preferable. It's easier to say, and to spell.
XIII▸ Oh the uh- the Project thing. That might take a while to explain. I'll... I'll summarise it later. That's all I can think of, from the top of my head. I'll do my best to aclimatise to any cultural differences outside of Harrison space during my time here. Please feel free to ask me questions, about myself or my stated expertise. It might be nice to make some more lasting connections, outside of deployment.
XIII▸ Signing off for now. I look forward to meeting you.
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// loading echo.exe ... //... //... // now running echo.exe
◂▸ alrightyy, Turtie's got themself introduced, now it's my turn. howdy folks: My name is Helios-8, but I accept Lio if flashclone naming conventions turn your stomach. That's what me and Turtie are, by the way. Project-produced HA sanctioned flashclones. Being able to say that openly is why I run this nifty piece of software that keeps things below the line for any HA techs who might get on our case about legal distinctions, treaties, terms of service etc. Legally, we didn't say any of this shit.
◂▸I'm on a seperate datapad, I get my own that I can tinker with since I'm defined as an employed citizen in the tech sector, whereas Turtie's... well, it's complicated. Suffice to say they're not that. I'll explain in time. Important thing is, anything they want to say that might get them in trouble, they'll run through my interface and protective software. You want to see what either of us don't want HA seeing, we'll throw it into the void under the cloak of ECHO here. Something between insurance in case this all goes tits up, and a sort of controlled exposure therapy so Turtie can learn how to speak their mind.
◂▸I think it's important they get a break from the bullshit the Projects put us through, hence why I put myself forward to be their handler between deployments. My project line wasn't anything like Unlucky Thirteen, but- ehhh, that's a story better saved for the big expo. Sorry for being cryptic about shit. It'll come to light in its own time. This was meant to be an introduction but, I think you'll find out what you need to if you get talking to us.
Or don't; we'll be treating this thing like a diary anyways, and when ECHO's feeling up to big files I'll drop some of the more interesting pieces of history I have squirreled away too >:]c But, your eyes are enough. You saw us. You know we were here, and we were real, and that we were people too.
I'll try and keep things organised: ECHO should automatically tag anything she's cloaked with echo.exe if you're looking for the juicy stuff, and I'll file any grey-space leaks that may or may not actually come from me under sunspot.dox ; for regular chatter, just check out You've Got Mail
◂▸anyway, cheers for reading. see you round the net -Helios-8
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// ooc: hiii this is @mossydice / @mossylocks depending on where you may know me- and this blog is a bit of an experiment!! I'm pretty shy overall so how much actual rping I manage to do is Very up in the air, but at the very least this'll serve as a fun in character blog for me to exposit about my scrungly Thirteen-E; I don't know when I'll actually get to play them, so this is a fun way to explore their character and some of the lore specific to them that I've come up with in the mean time!! ^-^ I look forward to doing more ic writing!!
IMPORTANTLY: Thirteen-E's whole deal can get a bit gritty in places, so I'll be trying to include cw's where I think they might be revelent. However this whole blog is going to play heavy into dehumanisaiton and the comodification of human bodies if the flashclone premise didn't make that obvious, so if these are topics you'd rather not read about at length in your fiction, no hard feelings!! thanks for stopping by o7
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screambirdscreaming · 5 months ago
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I used to like saying "gender is a social construct," but I stopped saying that because people didn't tend to react well - they thought that I was saying gender wasn't real, or didn't matter, or could be safely ignored without consequences. Which has always baffled me a bit as an interpretation, honestly, because many things are social constructs - like money, school, and the police - and they certainly have profound effects on your life whether or not you believe in them. And they sure don't go away if you ignore them.
Anyway. What I've taken to saying instead is, "gender is a cultural practice." This gives more of a sense of respect for the significance gender holds to many people. And it also opens the door to another couple layers of analysis.
Gender is cultural. It is not globally or historically homogeneous. It shifts over time, develops differently in different communities, and can be influenced by cross-cultural contact. Like many, many aspects of culture, the current status of gender is dramatically influenced by colonialism. Colonial gender norms are shaped by the hierarchical structure of imperialist society, and enforced onto colonized cultures as part of the project of imperial cultural hedgemony.
Gender is practiced. What constitutes a gender includes affects and behaviors, jobs or areas of work, skillsets, clothing, collective and individual practices of gender affiliation and affirmation. Any or all of these things, in any combination, depending on the gender, the culture, and the practitioner.
Gender encompasses shared cultural archetypes. These can include specific figures - gods and goddesses, mythic or fictional characters, etc - or they can be more abstract or general. The Wise Woman, Robin Hood, the Dyke, the Working Man, the Plucky Heroine, the Effete Gay Man, etc etc. The range of archetypes does not circumscribe a given gender, that is, they're not all there is to gender. But they provide frameworks and reference points by which people relate to gender. They may be guides for ways to inhabit or practice a gender. They may be stereotypes through which the gendered behavior of others is viewed.
Gender as a framework can be changed. Because it is created collectively, by shared acknowledgement and enforcement by members of society. Various movements have made significant shifts in how gender is structured at various times and places. The impact of these shifts has been widely variable - for example, depending on what city I'm in, even within my (fairly culturally homogeneous) home country, the way I am gendered and reacted to changes dramatically. Looping back to point one, we often speak of gender in very broad terms that obscure significant variability which exists on many scales.
Gender is structured recursively. This can be seen in the archetypes mentioned above, which range from extremely general (say, the Mother) to highly specific (the PTA Soccer Mom). Even people who claim to acknowledge only two genders will have many concepts of gendered-ways-of-being within each of them, which they may view and react to VERY differently.
Gender is experienced as an external cultural force. It cannot be opted out of, any more than living in a society can be opted out of. Regardless of the internal experience of gender, the external experience is also present. Operating within the shared cultural understanding of gender, one can aim to express a certain practice of gender - to make legible to other people how it is you interface with gender. This is always somewhat of a two-way process of communication. Other people may or may not perceive what you're going for - and they may or may not respect it. They may try to bring your expressed gender into alignment with a gender they know, or they might parcel you off into your own little box.
Gender is normative. Within the structure of the "cultural mainstream," there are allowable ways to practice gender. Any gendered behavior is considered relative to these standards. What behavior is allowed, rewarded, punished, or shunned is determined relative to what is gender normative for your perceived gender. Failure to have a clearly perceivable gender is also, generally, punished. So is having a perceivable gender which is in itself not normative.
Gender is taught by a combination of narratives, punishments, and encouragements. This teaching process is directed most strongly towards children but continues throughout adulthood. Practice of normatively-gendered behaviors and alignment with 'appropriate' archetypes is affirmed, encouraged, and rewarded. Likewise 'other'- gendered behavior and affinity to archetypes is scolded, punished, or shunned. This teaching process is inherently coercive, as social acceptance/rejection is a powerful force. However it can't be likened to programming, everyone experiences and reacts to it differently. Also, this process teaches the cultural roles and practices of both (normative) genders, even as it attempts to force conformity to only one.
Gender regulates access to certain levers of social power. This one is complicated by the fact that access to levers of social power is also affected by *many* other things, most notably race, class, and citizenship. I am not going to attempt to describe this in any general terms, I'm not equipped for that. I'll give a few examples to explain what I'm talking about though. (1) In a social situation, a man is able to imply authority, which is implicitly backed by his ability to intimidate by yelling, looming, or threatening physical violence. How much authority he is perceived to have in response to this display is a function of his race and class. It is also modified by how strongly he appears to conform to a masculine ideal. Whether or not he will receive social backlash for this behavior (as a separate consideration to how effective it will be) is again a function of race/class/other forms of social standing. (2) In a social situation, a woman is able to invoke moral judgment, and attempt to modify the behavior of others by shame. The strength of her perceived moral authority depends not just on her conformity to ideal womanhood, but especially on if she can invoke certain archetypes - such as an Innocent, a Mother, or better yet a Grandmother. Whether her moral authority is considered a relevant consideration to influence the behavior of others (vs whether she will be belittled or ignored) strongly depends on her relative social standing to those she is addressing, on basis of gender/race/class/other.
[Again, these examples are *not* meant to be exhaustive, nor to pass judgment on employing any social power in any situation. Only to illustrate what "gendered access to social power" might mean. And to illustrate that types of power are not uniform and may play out according to complex factors.]
Gender is not based in physical traits, but physical traits are ascribed gendered value. Earlier, I described gender as practiced, citing almost entirely things a person can do or change. And I firmly believe this is the core of gender as it exists culturally - and not just aspirationally. After the moment when a gender is "assigned" based on infant physical characteristics, they are raised into that gender regardless of the physical traits they go on to develop (in most circumstances, and unless/until they denounce that gender.) The range of physical traits like height, facial shape, body hair, ability to put on muscle mass - is distributed so that there is complete overlap between the range of possible traits for people assigned male and people assigned female. Much is made of slight trends in things that are "more common" for one binary sex or the other, but it's statistically quite minor once you get over selection bias. However, these traits are ascribed gendered connotations, often extremely strongly so. As such, the experience of presented and perceived gender is strongly effected by physical traits. The practice of gender therefore naturally expands to include modification of physical traits. Meanwhile, the social movements to change how gender is constructed can include pushing to decrease or change the gendered association of physical traits - although this does not seem to consistently be a priority.
Gender roles are related to the hypothetical ability to bear children, but more obliquely than is often claimed. It is popular to say that the types of work considered feminine derive from things it is possible to do while pregnant or tending small children. However, research on the broader span of human history does not hold this up. It may be true of the cultures that gave immediate rise to the colonial gender roles we are familiar with - secondary to the fact that childcare was designated as women's work. (Which it does not have to be, even a nursing infant doesn't need to be with the person who feeds it 24 hours a day.) More directly, gender roles have been influenced by structures of social control aiming for reproductive control. In the direct precursors of colonial society, attempts to track paternal lineage led to extreme degrees of social control over women, which we still see reflected in normative gender today. Many struggles for women's liberation have attempted to push back these forms of social control. It is my firm opinion that any attempt to re-emphasize childbearing as a touchstone of womanhood is frankly sick. We are at a time where solidarity in struggle for gender liberation, and for reproductive rights, is crucial. We need to cast off shackles of control in both fights. Trying to tie childbearing back to womanhood hobbles both fights and demeans us all.
Gender is baked deeply enough into our culture that it is unlikely to ever go away. Many people feel strongly about the practice of gender, in one way or another, and would not want it to. However we have the power to change how gender is structured and enforced. We can push open the doors of what is allowable, and reduce the pain of social punishment and isolation. We can dismantle another of the tools of colonial hedgemony and social control. We can change the culture!
#Gender theory#I have gotten so sick of seeing posts about gender dynamics that have no robust framework of what gender IS#so here's a fucking. manifesto. apparently.#I've spent so long chewing on these thoughts that some of this feels like. it must be obvious and not worth saying.#but apparently these are not perspectives that are really out in the conversation?#Most of this derives from a lot of conversations I've had in person. With people of varying gender experiences.#A particular shoutout to the young woman I met doing collaborative fish research with an indigenous nation#(which feels rude to name without asking so I won't)#who was really excited to talk gender with me because she'd read about nonbinary identity but I was the first nb person she'd met#And her perspective on the cultural construction of gender helped put so many things together for me.#I remember she described her tribe's construction of gender as having been put through a cookie cutter of colonial sexism#And how she knew it had been a whole nuanced construction but what remained was really. Sexist. In ways that frustrated her.#And yet she understood why people held on to it because how could you stand to loose what was left?#And how she wanted to see her tribe be able to move forward and overcome sexism while maintaining their traditional practices in new ways#As a living culture is able to.#Also many other trans people of many different experiences over the years.#And a handful of people who were involved in the various feminist movements of the past century when they had teeth#Which we need to have again.#I hate how toothless gender discourse has become.#We're all just gnawing at our infighting while the overall society goes wildly to shit#I was really trying to lay out descriptive theory here without getting into My Opinions but they got in there the last few bullet points#I might make some follow up posts with some of my slightly more sideways takes#But I did want to keep this one to. Things I feel really solidly on.
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lord-squiggletits · 26 days ago
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I was at a "making friends" kind of social event just this past week and ended up having two subsequent conversations with different people that gave me an interesting reflection on my own reasons for writing without me even intending to make the conversation about it.
First conversation: The person talked about the feeling of awe from being at a music concert and how incredible it is that so many complete strangers can be united by a singular love of music. I related to it with regards to my own writing and how many people have read my stuff. Ended up telling this guy about some of the AO3 comments I've gotten from people to the effect of helping motivate them to live/just reflect on life in general. Somehow went into a tangent about a suicidal friend of mine who died when we were in high school, and me saying that maybe the reason I write so much about the things I do is because of the influence his death had on me. And the other person ended up asking me, 'So do you think it's like every time you write, you're doing it in his memory in a way?'
Subsequent conversation was with someone who was a psychologist for a day job, and I ended up telling them that I was kind of thinking of getting a degree in psychology/therapy one day because writing about mental health issues had gotten me so interested in the world of helping people heal themselves. But then I was also like, "Well, I don't know, it could be that I don't need to become a psychologist to help people with mental health. Maybe helping people by being a writer and telling stories is enough."
It was just a surprising, but topical realization for me to have talking to a bunch of strangers. For someone like me who's often preoccupied with doing and having knowledge and expertise, I often fall into the idea that you need to be directly involved in helping people to really be making a difference. I've literally had thoughts in my mind along the lines of "I'm so smart, hardworking, and dedicated when it comes to writing, but wouldn't it have been so much more of a net gain to the world if I'd decided to be this passionate about something like being a doctor or activist that actually helps people?" It's not like I truly regret being a writer (or ever will, because there's nothing else that I love so much), but in my bad moments I truly do sometimes think "Why does it make a difference if I entertain people or make them feel nicer for a while if it doesn't actually change anything in the world?" To quote one of my favorite Transformers fics of all time, "There was nothing that would have been more worthwhile, but that didn't rule out the possibility that the whole damn universe was wasting its time."
I guess the answer is that making someone feel better, even in a small way, is changing the world, even if it's just a few people, and even if it's just as simple as making someone's day better.
#squiggposting#deeply personal shit just bc i feel like it and have been brooding on the final topic of this post#(if me being a writer is a waste or not) for a while#idk man it's the internet which is great bc it means i reach so many more people than i would without it#but it also means i don't really see the impact i have unless i'm told or happen to find it#i feel a little bad sometimes. like i should be more grateful for what impact/acclaim/positive influence i do have#but a lot of days i just feel...numb about it? i don't want to say i'm taking it for granted or feel entitled to more#i also talked about this to one of those people: that i have a hard time feeling things sometimes#both in a clinical depression way and that sometimes i just can't summon the emotions i think i should be#idk man i think i'm just at a point in my life where my identity (and honestly health) is in too much flux#and i'm also so damn lonely that i keep overthinking things that i shouldn't#venting#it's just weird to me how i sometimes think i feel too much/too hard and sometimes i don't feel ENOUGH#i think it doesn't help that like my dayjob is something i only generally find interesting but find no fulfilment in#so like. writing is pretty much what i've got to make life feel like it means something#everything else feels like it's something i'm forcing myself to do or is part of some long term plan or is an obligation#or something i 'should be doing'. writing is the only thing that i do and i push myself in bc i love it#if that doesn't mean something then nothing in life means anything
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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago
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trying to look for a ttrpg group in spaces where I can't just go 'listen I want to play this shit in the tumblr fandom kind of model (gay subtext extremely welcome bordering on essential, mutual unhinged character psychoanalysis, we could create a novel of a backstory together to make this sadder, let's all play with our OC dolls together and also sometimes dice are rolled I guess)' and be readily understood and/or not be immediately side-eyed or denigrated for my inherent unavoidable tumblerinaness feels like such an annoying debuff to deal with on the quest. like I know my people exist out there but how do I express myself in the right way and wade through all the copious not-it (not for me) dynamics to find them!!!
#I feel like a weird kid in the playground trying to find someone who plays the same way as me all over again fhdksjfa#(and if/when I find them -- how the fuck to approach them)#turns out there are so many ways to play rpgs that do not appeal to me in the slightest#there are so many dimensions -- creative interpersonal gameplay-wise -- where you can severely not match with someone lmao#with half of the people I've come across it seems like it would be a struggle just to agree there should be a session 0 :')#but I know I KNOW this could be exactly my kind of fun with the right people it's a little maddening#(my group of friends when I was 12-13 was like... we were trying SO hard to play an rpg without having an rpg to play#some from first principles but with no guidelines to help us stuff#and it was one of my rare 'oh fuck. oh fuck yeah this could be it!!' social moments at that time lol. clearly something instinctive there)#I have been lurking around in a discord server on a more national/local level but I'm not gonna lie... a lot of The Good Old Boys shit#dominating the conversation there. I really don't think they mean to take all the oxygen out of the room for everyone else but uh#it's kind of just what happens. I have seen seen hour-long debates over definitions so esoteric and navel-gazing it would haunt your dreams#trying to wade through that to find the people who might vibe more with me seems... so exhausting and I don't know howww!!#the high masking autistic blues plays again
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