#I've been sitting on this for a while but that tends to be the trend with me lmao. I either post as soon as I'm done or like 2 months after-

[morelikesin]

He'd have expected pressed flora, or the gluing in with horse collagen or beeswax of an excerpt. . .but turning the pages had revealed a different medium altogether: a painting, the canvas frayed at the edges were it was torn in two and glued onto the paper. Looking at it for longer would make the assumption there were more pieces to the portrait, but its artist had removed them for what purposes he could not understand.

Oil paints, perhaps the ones they'd perused in Solitude, and natural pigments from charcoal and minerals, perhaps their own or perhaps from their time in Winterhold, blended to create the warm ambers and golds of skin, and hair, and jewelry, making up portraiture of themself. Their stylizations were intact as they were with pencil, but these struck as true studies; where their usual work was romanticized concepts of the company they've encountered, this looked much more like the effort between a muse and a mirror.

Fearful of the oil on his skin ruining the preservation of it, he made a conscious effort to not reach his fingers to touch the ambiently-cooled texture of paint, but oh, how dearly he wished to. He supposed he had them, blood and flesh, in the most favorable way, but something about the affection put into the reflection of the person he's so inconceivably tried to convince to care for themselves - yes, he supposed the draw had made sense.

. . .but the earring, painted warmly with ochre on the left, resembled that of the one they'd displayed during their time in Morthal and Labyrinthian: dangling chains and golden beads hugging peridot charms, a balancing vase that. . .carried cassia and cinnamon.

-

I know it's said that going into too much detail and focusing on the minute in your writing will make your work tiring and bore the reader - to that, I say: I write how I think, and I'm a detail-oriented person, so I find this true to life. Real life isn't only the most important parts, nor is it all we remember; write how you wish and don't feel like you have to adhere to strict rules for your art.

Following that theme, I had done portraiture of Blóðhundr only to not love how the final product looked - but separating the painting into different pieces was what I needed to do so. This will serve me better for the storytelling, anyway, so benefits all around.

[cosmicplexus]

Random Astrology Observations

🌻I wasn't feeling lazy today so this is a bit longer than the usual observation posts🌻

🦋And finally the pricing catalogue is here...at the end of the observations 🦋

Thank you so much my sunflowers🌻your support has been everything. I try my best to respond to your messages and requests. If you haven't received a response, I'm coming 🤍✨

And I tried my best to be reasonable with the prices. Also, I'm not yet doing full chart readings as I am a student with two majors and I'm already struggling with balancing things. In time I will do them. Free one question culture requests are still open, but please don't request for things you see on the pricing catalogue like a big three reading...

I don't want to bore you all too much so here we go🧚🏾‍♀️🦋🌻✨

Astrology Notes...

~4th house Gemini makes for someone who develops family-like bonds in friendships.

~taurus risings tend to be possessive due to the influence of their scorpio 7th house.

~pluto at angular houses 1st, 7th, 4th and 10th is a huge indicator of someone who has had intense experiences in the respective key areas of life and there's spiritual lessons to be learnt regarding that area through transformation.

~libra venus placements may find it really hard to stay single

~7° and 19° venus or moon signs may struggle with the theme of physical perfection and wanting to attain it.

~virgo moons have a tendency of creating problems if they don't have any current ones to solve

~capricorn risings really do look older in their younger days and younger when they're older.

~moon and neptune in 1st house natives may give off the perception that they need saving and may attract people with a martyrdom complex.

~sagittarius, 9th house, 9° and 21° mercuries may have an affinity to music in foreign languages while cancer, 4th house, 4°,16°,28° may enjoy music in their mother tongue

~jupiter in 2nd house and 10th house is heavy lotto winner vibes. Literally and figuratively.

~mercury in 2nd house and at Taurean degrees(2°,14° and 26°) are the born singers

~the 22nd degree is an underrated fame degree...I have a bey's🐝 fame analysis I've been sitting on for a while. That's a conversation for another day.

~pisces venus and mars are the most romantic people in the world which makes me kind of believe the astrology theory of neptune being the higher frequency of venus.

~leo moons really take their hair seriously and may feel out of loop if their hair is not well done.

~want to easily impress a cancer mars man??? Sing praises to your mom. Be dotting around kids.

~girls with 9th house, 9° and 21° Venus are so magically beautiful. Abundance of beauty.

~To a decent degree, liberation of women in society came at the expense of gemini, sagittarius and aquarius venus women being slut-shamed(This is not at all saying other women did not contribute to the liberation of women 🌻✨ That's a conversation for another day)

~neptune plays a huge role in beauty trends and that's why neptune dominant women are usually the beauty influencers which explains why beauty standards are mutable and ever changing.

~jupiter in 7th house can go two ways... extreme luck in meaningful relationships or someone who never has serious relationships and is forever on the look...

~pisces/12th house mercuries and mercury afflicted by neptune are often under fire for being the liars when the real culprit is the sagittarius/9th house mercuries and mercury-jupiter hard aspects.

~I personally view the north node as a jupiter variant. While the general consensus is that it is the purpose we're working for, I do believe that it's also an indicator of our birthrights, innate gifts and where we're lucky.

~Cosmic Plexus🌻🤍

§~PRICE CATALOGUE~§ ~PAID READINGS COMMENCE ON THE 16th of May 2024 🦋DETAILED BIG THREE READING ~ $6.00

🦋5 IN-DEPTH SYNASTRY QUESTIONS READING ~ $9.00 🦋OVERALL SYNASTRY ADVICE ~ $3.00

🦋SPIRITUALITY AND PURPOSE FOCUSED READING ~ $6.00 🦋CAREER ADVICE ~ $3.00 🦋 RELATIONSHIP REMEDY TIPs $3.00

Let me know your thoughts...

~Cosmic Plexus🤍✨🌻🦋©️

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Rhian, drop your morning/night routine!

Rhian: In the morning, I don't "wake up" like most do. Instead, I simply get out of bed since I'm usually up all night attempting to fall asleep. Repose rarely overtakes me, and my mind's always reeling. I may have to commission a sleeping draught from a witch one day.

At this stage of the morning, Rafal is usually still out cold, and it doesn't matter how loud I am, so I listen to the morning Kingdom Council spellcast reports from a mirror I've ensorcelled at full volume and review the Putsi market trends as I start on my routine.

The Gillikin Gazette's updates about its ongoing cathedral construction are my favorites though—its flying buttresses rival Camelot's dated, heavier Romanesque designs. I only manage to catch those reports on Saturdays though since I have to be out of the tower and on my way at an early hour most days. Oh, and I tend to cast a spell, so my bed makes itself while I busy myself with more important tasks.

Firstly, I need my ermine slippers and silk dressing gown. I shower and usually start with a facial, rosewater, or whichever magical cure-all I'm currently using to remove my under-eye shadows with.

Though, Rafal's been a bother about the cucumbers I go through. He thinks I'll drain the Woods' supply and that he won't have any left for his sandwiches. Mind you, that isn't true in the least.

I use charcoal imported from Akgul to remove impurities of the skin, and that's been rather effective as of late. I also ice my pores, page through Maxine's progress reports, and keep tabs on the lackadaisical performers. Tracking's very important at a School like ours, you know.

On some occasions, I do my own makeup, but really, it seems to me that only the Evergirls care if they notice at all. These days, I've been fond of whipped beetroot tinctures and orchid cologne. Then, I arrange my hair, dress suitably for the day's activities in whichever clothes I pressed the night before, and polish my boots. I polish Rafal's too. He doesn't notice or care—thinks we're immune to disease and scrutiny—but he's missing the point. It's about image, of course. And I worry that he'll bring bird mites from his Stymphs indoors, and that would not only be unseemly for a School Master, but a disaster of inordinate proportions, even if our health isn't at risk. Think of the parent complaints we'd receive, if we had an infestation. The picket-lines would never end!

When I head out, Rafal's almost always still asleep, so I bring us back breakfast, and wake him then.

Well, I say "wake him," but rousing him isn't as simple as I've likely led you to believe. By now, it's turned into an awfully elaborate burlesque. I switch mirror channels to the Jaunt Jolie Music Hall's Cricket and Brass orchestra production of the day. If that fails, I bang a ladle on our breakfast's silver cloche over him. And if all else fails, I shout "FIRE," "INVASION," or even "PIRATES" if I'm desperate and running late, and that does the trick. I still haven't figured out if he's been deluding me though, or if it's his dreams that leave him with those horrid little grins.

Yet, this particular song-and-dance of sorts has been more of a recent development. His clarion-belled alarm clock from Geppetto's broke last month, and he hasn't had the time to replace it. The flight's a day's trip, and this new class of Nevers cannot be left alone for more than a day because he's sure there'll be either an outbreak of some pox or of some general pandemonium since he doesn't think I'm capable of maintaining order. I'm more than capable in truth.

We eat then, he in his pajama shorts and shirt and black stockings with the runs I chastise him about throwing out everyday, and me in my typical smart attire.

At the end, I wash up, sit, and wait for him to set the dishes to scrubbing themselves, comb his hair, and dress. After that, we split off to our respective sides for the day, and I see him again at dusk.

"Bye." or "Morning, brother." is as talkative as he gets at this time of day before he vanishes into the Tunnel of Trees or crosses the Halfway Bridge into the smog, unless he has a storybook victory to congratulate himself over or another point to bolster his side of an argument with—arguments I naively believed we'd already put to bed the night before.

After a full day of overseeing classes, Rafal legs it over the window sill when he returns and showers immediately when he gets back. Then, he grades papers and exams. On days when he's exhausted by puppeteering mock battle raids or Storian knows what he subjects those poor children to, he passes out in bed fully-clothed without showering, and showers in the morning.

All the while, I perform my nightly skin- and hair care routines, snuff out the candles, and get in bed with an eye mask, in my attempt to get a good night's sleep, often sooner than he goes to bed because he reads news updates and whatever musty tome he's tearing through late into the night.

Sometimes, I wake in the middle of a night terror and realize he's still up marking or reading or scheming, so I confiscate the candles at that point and force him to sleep. Rarely does he listen, and I've stopped bothering most of the time as he reads by the light of his fingerglow instead, contrary to all sound advice. He doesn't view sleep as necessary seeing as the Storian sustains us, but he has no sleep troubles, so I suppose that's an easy conclusion to form if you're him. The latest remedy I've resorted to is tucking lavender into my pillowcase, but I've had not a drop of luck.

[the-empress-7]

I know this might be an unpopular opinion and a bit off topic but it has been bugging me for a while.

Remember the rumor about Diana allegedly hating and bullying Sophie because she believed Sophie had been copying her (see link below)? Not that I approve of Diana's meanness but I think there is truth about the copying, down to the hairstyle.

Now I think it's Kate that she's copying, and I've observed this for years now. Once Kate starts a trend in royal fashion, she would follow suit. From wearing boots with dresses, to espadrilles, hats, blazers and pant suits, dress styles, and the latest which is the lotus tiara. There is something about Sophie that just doesn't sit well with me. From that scandal with the fake sheik, to that time where she was caught chastising her RPO, or that time she was telling off Charlotte. See links below.

Am I wrong? I'd really like to hear yours and others' opinion on this. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/EN39ujH3Q5Y

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1380021/Royal-Wedding-2011-Countess-Wessex-wearing-Bruce-Oldfield.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF-GwiLn59M

Hi anon, the Royal ladies tend to wear similar items from the same designers quite frequently. In fact when Catherine debuts a new designer or a specific new silhouette, it's not unusual to see many royal women wearing similar dresses.

When did Sophie tells off Charlotte? I know about the RPO and the sheikh incident, the latter is how the BRF learned their lesson on why part time royals doesn't work as a model when you are a public servant.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Interlude 3.5 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

In an odd way, Kayden supposed, she took refuge in Aster.  She found succor in the company of her child, in the midst of a world she had little hope for.

One thing I find interesting in the fanfic I've read is that older fic tend to be a great deal more... willing to give Kayden/Purity a chance? Like, they don't generally just give her a pass, and rightly so, but older fic were more willing to sympathize with her situation, or give her chances in canon to move on from being Purity/etc.

More recent fics tend to not give her that - they tend to have her get taken down with the rest of E88, or rejoin the organization (even if not super willingly) or the like, or at least don't give her the chances to improve and change older fics did.

And I can guess a big part of that has been the rise of Alt-right and Neo-Nazi movements in the world in more recent years, as well as a backlash against the earlier trends.

When she saw pudgy fifteen year old Theo sitting in front of the television, she was momentarily disoriented. Then she felt a stab of guilt.  She’d forgotten about the boy, in the midst of caring for Aster and her preparations for the night.

Oof. Poor Theo.

The times when Theo let a glimmer of emotion show were few and far between.  A smile, genuine, touched Theo’s face, and almost broke Kayden’s heart in the process. “I’d love to,” Theo replied, meaning it.

I suspect that despite this interlude introducing Purity, it's actually much more about showing us Theo, in terms of the long-term picture of the story. He ends up being one of the Chicago Wards, right?

 All she could offer were small kindnesses, little gestures of love and affection, and hope they helped. 

And that's the question. Do they help at all?

Kayden didn’t wear a mask, but it wasn’t necessary.  With her powers active, her brown hair and eyes became a radiant white, emanating a light so brilliant it was impossible to look straight at her.  The fabric of her alabaster costume, too, radiated with a soft glow that rippled like light on the surface of the water.

Nifty

A year ago, she had made the ABB a priority target.  Three to five times a week, she had carried out surgical strikes against the low level operations of the gang, interrupting shipments, beating up dealers and thugs, attacking their places of business and all the while, she had been gathering information.  That information had paid off from time to time; she had clashed directly with Lung on no less than four occasions, had encountered Oni Lee on two.  In all but one of those encounters, she had successfully forced them to retreat, to abandon whatever it was they were doing at the time.  Those were the good days.

Again, how many low-level operatives do they have?

Five of her seven vacation days had passed, and she’d accomplished nothing.  Less than nothing.  They were getting stronger.

It does suck, that feeling of putting all that time in, and feeling like you've achieved nothing. But I'd say part of the problem is that she views it as a thing that has an 'end', that she can just eliminate the ABB if she puts enough into it. You need to really be careful about that Mindset.

Even broken arms and legs hadn’t hurt or scared the thugs enough to get them talking about what was going on.

Hey! Something she has in common with Vicky! /s

(genuinely, not actually comparing the two)

Now most of the gang was gone, quite possibly on a big job, and she had no idea where.  She had no idea where to find out.  Kayden grit her teeth.  This wasn’t working.  If she was going to make any headway before her vacation days were up, she had to act now.  Make a deal with the devil.

No, Kayden, please don't.

Twice, she circled around the top floors of the wrong buildings, looking for the logo set on the side of the building would mark Max’s building apart from the others. The black crown against a red and yellow background.  

The Medhall Logo, or does he just spraypaint his own Logo like he's Hydra spamming their symbol everywhere?

He waited, his hands clasped over his stomach, the faintest expression of amusement on his face.  She knew he was capable of opening the window to his office.  He was waiting for her to ask to come inside.  It was the sort of little power game he was so fond of.

That's gotta be exhausting to deal with. That kind of shit alone should have led to a divorce :rofl:

“Kayden.  It’s been a little while,” he managed to greet her and make it sound like a criticism in the same breath.  He half-turned to type on his computer, and the lights in the office adjusted to a halogen glare.  She shut her eyes briefly and basked in the glow, feeling her internal supply of energy recharge.

Kayden, Kayden, Kayden - I want to feel like you deserve a chance. I feel like most people should deserve a chance to become better people in some form, and in this kind of media, that should include being able to turn from being a villain.

But you can't do this if you want that chance.

He was making it clear he was doing her a favor, and he’d expect recompense at some point, tonight or a week from now. 

Yeah, but you don't actually have to agree to owe him that favor.

I do accept that Aster and Theo do make it hard to disentangle from him though.

Though, it would be interesting to imagine a co-parenting supervillain and superhero where both are able to fight eachother as capes and yet still manage their shared kid without breaking the unwritten rules. Not with these two, Kaisar would never do that, but.

 You’d double check with me on anything you did, but other than that, you’d be completely autonomous.

That's like... the opposite of autonomy?

“And you’ll be working against that impression for decades, to no effect, I guarantee you.”

In theory, I think she could do it, if she really did have decades to pull it off. People often have short memories. But she's still going about this the wrong way.

Max smiled, “It’s ugly on the surface, but it’s more money, more power, and it gives me the leverage to really affect things.  The only people I hurt are the same people who cause the problems in the first place.”

Fucker, you run an incredibly wealthy pharma company. Does the chump change E88's drug running give you matter?

(Okay, it's probably not really chump change, but Pharma companies sure make more fucking money than drug dealers)

Kayden frowned, “Hard to avoid, when the only notable gang of whites is yours.  Some old friends and allies of mine still work for you… I can’t go around attacking them, can I?  I’m working to improve our city, but I’m not going to beat up people I’ve been out to drinks with.”

I mean, maybe that's your problem? And this is where it really, really gets hard to want to give her that chance. Like, it would be nice, if she could get her opening to unpack all of her racism and her 'some Nazis are very fine people' mindset, and one would like to believe that given the time, the resources, the support, she could (because I'd like to believe that, in theory, anyone could unlearn that kind of shit) but...

She's not really putting in that effort, is she?

Kayden didn’t have an answer to that.  It was his fault, really.  The high school baseball player she’d had a crush on when she’d been in middle school had wound up being the same person that first approached her when she started going out in costume.  Blinded by his good looks and his way with words, she’d been swayed, convinced of his way of thinking.  She’d tried to change her outlook since the divorce, but she had seen a great deal in her ten years as a member of his team.  It was impossible to look at the city now and ignore the fact that too much of what made it an uglier place to live and raise a child in could be traced back to the same kinds of people.  Sure, the whites had criminals too, but at least they were fucking civilized about it.

I mean, she is a victim of having been radicalized. But she's still not doing enough.

He extended a gauntlet, left it there for her to take.  It was the smallest gesture, he never made a move where someone could refuse him, leave him hanging, and it meant the world to her, even as she suspected it was calculated for just that effect. Forgive me, Aster, she thought.  I’m doing this for you.

And there you go, eroding your chance.

I feel sorry in the abstract for her, but... well, you're a racist bitch, Purity.

[dittomander]

Hi! Okay I know I'm sorry I've lowkey been stalking a lot of what you're doing but it's because I really really click with where your brain's at, and I have so much respect for your takes on the show. I'm just so lucky I ran into you just when I was starting to compile an eoa spellbook in my head, lol.

So! Magic questions!

It took me far too long into a rewatch to start paying attention to the magic colors cast by wizards/malvagos (it was Ash who tipped me off that certain casters tend to have certain colors). I know you kind of got into it a little, but I was wondering what helps determine the unique colors? If it's not tamboritas, could it be something more intimate, like personality? Or something deeper? What does Mateo's signature orange glow mean? Would another wizard stereotype him a certain way because of it? I'm inclined to think that color is linked to a caster's spirit/soul, especially since Alacazar's book-spirit is yellow, as is his magic.

If that's the case, is magic itself tied to a person's soul? Elena's emotion-magic is obviously deeply intimate, and though her magic is different than studied spells, maybe there's some linkage between the two? Is magic, at its core, something that touches you inside, something that you kinda "be"? (jeesh okay i see I'm taking "The magic within you" far too literally)

Lot to dump out there but I hope it's food for thought! I have nothing but brainrot so

Hiiii! Thank you, and I'm so sorry for letting this sit for so long 😭

Obviously, there's nothing in the text of the show that defines why different wizards get the colors they do, so all of this is totally speculative. You pose some really interesting questions, though!

The Boring/meta answer is that the colors are just a convenient way to distinguish between who's casting & also what their rough alignment is - warm colors for the good guys, cool colors for the bad guys. Magic battles would be a lot harder to parse if everyone's magic looked the same. But there's a surprising number of interesting edge cases that open the way for magical worldbuilding questions.

Like, there's the case of certain spells tending to be certain colors, regardless of who is performing them. Conglari is usually green when cast, with a few exceptions (orange when Mateo (& Olivia) first use it in "Wizard-in-Training" and pink when Olivia uses it in "Team Isa"), and mitsomo ticarsi's blue overrides both Mateo's orange and the royal guards' red. And like. I have no clue what to make of the implications of that. Like is there something inherent to the spell? What decided those colors? The wizards that first performed the spells? The magic itself? I do love the idea of "living" magic and wizardry as an act of communication with it but there's not really enough examples of these specific-color spells in the show to make any concrete statements about them.

And then there's the case of how Victor's magic stays the same indigo color even when he changes alignment. This case pretty handily dismisses the idea of magic color being defined by alignment as any sort of in-universe rule and makes me lean more toward the idea of the color being intrinsic to the caster. It could be a personality factor, which could help explain in a correlation vs. causation kind of way why so many malvagos have colors in the purple/dark blue range. I.e., whatever trait they have that makes their magic color trend toward purple is also the trait that makes them more inclined to turn to dark magic in the first place. It explains why those colors would be so common among that group while also accounting for cases like Ash's white magic - even if she has the "purple" trait, maybe her "white" trait is just more strongly expressed. This could also explain why all the royal guards have red magic in "Crash Course" - if they've all got the types of personalities that could lead them to joining the guard, maybe that type of personality just manifests as red.

(On the note of "Crash Course", the one thing I'll say for sure is that the magic color probably doesn't come from the tamboritas, since Bronzino's magic is yellow while casting from that same wand. Similarly, when Alacazar uses Mateo's tamborita in "Spirit of a Wizard", his own magic is still yellow instead of Mateo's orange.)

(Also on the note of "Crash Course", that episode shows us what I think is the only example in the show of a wizard actively taking control of someone else's spell. Mateo pulls the wand out of Rico's hands and is able to carefully set Miguel back down from being levitated. The magic stays red instead of turning orange, which I guess is somewhat relevant here? It at least tells us that the caster has a strong influence on the color. But I mostly bring it up because holy shit Mateo took direct control of someone else's spell. Like. Is that. Is that something any wizard could do? Is that significant? Look, I know the writers probably weren't trying to make a statement about Mateo or his relative magical strength there but in-universe I feel like that should be noteworthy. What in the heck.)

But I think the most interesting edge cases are the ones where someone's base magic color actually changes over the course of the show. The two examples I can think of are Elena, whose tamborita magic changes from purple in "Not Without My Magic" to orange in the "Spring Cleaning" short, and Olivia, whose magic changes from orange in "Wizard-In-Training" and "Movin' On Up" to pink in "Team Isa". Elena's kind of a weird case because her own magic does have specific color associations - both her scepter powers and her emotion magic. It's possible that her tamborita magic changing colors implies that the mental state of the caster can influence it as well as (or instead of) personality. While Elena certainly grows and changes over the show, "Not Without My Magic" and "The Magic Within" and associated shorts aren't really all that far apart in the timeline, so such a dramatic change seems unlikely, and like, other magic users grow and change too without their magic changing. But Elena's anxiety magic post-TMW manifests as purple, so maybe her stress about not having her scepter in "Not Without My Magic" is affecting her magic color there?

I don't think tamborita magic color is always indicative of emotion (unless Mateo is just pissed off 24/7 which. not an accurate read of his character, but admittedly a funny one), but I can actually think of one other example in the show that suggests it might contribute in extreme cases. Because while I fully admit it could just be the color settings on my computer or the lighting in the episode or my own perception, I swear to God that Mateo's magic is yellow specifically during "By My Side".

Like. Am I losing it? Am I cherry-picking too much? That's a different color, right? Like I can see a bit of an orange ring around the outside but his magic is usually so much darker/more uniform. Is it just the location/lighting? Like, it's gotta just be that, but the fact that there are butterflies there too makes me wonder if it's a deliberate choice to make his magic lighter for this song. Dude's in such a good mood he temporarily hijacked Elena's emotional symbolism.

Although another possibility here is that his magic is more yellow in that song because he's specifically learning from Alacazar, whose magic is yellow - in both Elena and Olivia's cases, their magic is orange like Mateo's when he's instructing them, but purple and pink respectively when they're casting without him around. If all that's intentional, the Doylist explanation is just Symbolism™, but in-universe it could suggest some sort personal influence - like if you're trying to do magic Like Someone Else, you may mimic their magic color, whether intentionally or not. Although that doesn't really track with the guards' magic being red to Bronzino's yellow. Still, there's room for exploration there, I think.

Expanding on this with Olivia's case, it could be something like, a wizard starts out with magic colors influenced by how they're learning it, and as they get more experience and come into their own as a spellcaster, their own colors start to show through. And this cycles us back around to it potentially being something deeper to their identity, like their personality or something tied to their spirit. It could be a form of self-expression, tying it in with how Shuriki banned magic alongside music and dancing. There's a lot of possibilities here.

I think having worked my way through this post, I really like the idea of it being influenced by a combination of things - personality, emotion, the people you look up to, intent, etc. In that vein, I also really like your comment about wizards potentially stereotyping each other based on their magic - if they perceive their magic as being one color for one reason, it could be easy to assume another wizard's magic is the same, even if another factor is behind it. I wonder if magic color is something wizarding communities even understand in universe.

Anyway, thank you so much for giving me all this good stuff to chew on, and apologies again for the delay. I know I didn't exactly, like, answer anything here but I hope it's still enjoyable to think about!

[schleckermaul]

「 GET TO KNOW YOUR RP PARTNER! 」 ( repost, please don’t reblog )

「BASICS」

▐ NAME: luce ▐ PRONOUNS: they/it ▐ SEXUALITY: bi ▐ TAKEN OR SINGLE: taken 💕 ▐ FIVE FACTS:

i have a cat named edmund who is my entire world. we go on walks and i teach him tricks every now and then

unfortunately spend a lot of time playing o.verwatch. i started playing because of l.ifeweaver and got stuck. still playing l.ifeweaver tho

currently training my dying attention span back to being able to read again. i try to do poetry daily, but i'm also reading "song of the six realms" by judy i lin rn! the cover is beautiful and it's been a fun read till now

i used to go by atlas in rp circles! took a big break after the pandemic hit and switched over to luce bc it didn't sit right anymore

i have ocd so i get pretty obsessed about organization and how the blog looks. if u see me deleting posts, this is why

「EXPERIENCE」

▐ HOW LONG (YEARS/MONTHS): i'm 25 now so ... 11 years, with rping specifically ▐ PLATFORMS USED: coughs ▐ BEST EXPERIENCE: i hopped from hyperfixation to hyperfixation throughout the years, but my best time has always been writing break. my time in the c.ritical r.ole fandom was also pretty banger, until it kind of exploded at the end

「MUSE PREFERENCES」

▐ MALE/FEMALE/OTHER: i tend to transmasc beam my characters, that's kind of the trend for me ▐ FAVORITE FACECLAIM: oh man, generally speaking, anything from ph or vnc gets my vote, but i've been using gilbert for a long time! i'm also particularly fond of antoine de sade from vnc ▐ FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: angst! as ur average ph enjoyer, i'm a big fan of tragedy ▐ PLOTS OR MEMES: both! i like plotting a little and then just seeing where it goes. occasionally i also like to go ham on a meme. in regards to memes, @/nobully has inspired me a lot! her meme replies are always so good ▐ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i ramble lmao. lots of things to say, though i try to balance out ... everything, while still giving enough space and engagement for the reply from my partners ▐ BEST TIME TO WRITE: late at night, usually. i also really like getting up a bit earlier to get some writing in when i'm excited about a thread ▐ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: in some ways, but not in most. break in particular i've just written for a long time, so that writing him comes easily to me not because we're alike, but because i know him well. autism event and such (it's been years)

[archivalofsins]

Man, Mikoto and Amane are both going down now. It's kind of interesting to see. Mikoto's decline is more steady, though. Personally, I kind of understand why people would be on the fence about them. Their situations are typically difficult for people in general to fully grasp. So, the first instinct is to deny it.

However, it does highlight an interesting trend. Because it seems like more people are willing to give a day one innocent verdict than a guilty one now. Regardless of if they're personally undecided still or not. I've discussed this I private and somewhat publicly.

Yet, it's interesting to think about Milgram in terms of forgiveness. Not because guilty and innocent are too black and white or anything like that. It's actually the contrary.

Framing it as forgiving or not forgiving is so much harsher, in my opinion.

Because I think forgiveness, honest forgiveness shouldn't be contingent on what the other person can do or if what they did can be justified. The only thing it's contingent on is if people on an individual level are willing to forgive it.

I think the best example is when a social media influencer does something wrong. In my case, it'd be when they do something that is objectively racist. At which point I tend to see many people usually not from the minority group that was discriminated against are quick to say we forgive you. This has led to discussions around who can accept apologies and in what circumstances.

Is it right to accept or deny an apology that wasn't made to you? Is it right to forgive something that happened to another person who no longer has the chance or ability to forgive it themselves. It's something that living relatives of victims of violent crimes have to grapple with all the time. Would my family forgive you I don't know because they'rs not gere to ask anymore? The only thing oeople who go through that sort of loss can do is default to when that person was around and the character they displayed and decide from their or decide based on what's best fkr them mentally.

It begs the question of-

How do you forgive someone when they never even say sorry? They're not even sorry. They don't seem sorry. In fact, they seem to be having a great time. Making it pretty apt that Milgram would tackle this concept in the way it does. As if asking if feeling entitled to forgive or not forgive in matters that didn't involve oneself is on its own a sin.

From the beginning, asking the audience to look past their egos when it comes to these things. Have characters point out how we wouldn't understand whether to forgive them or not because we haven't been through what they have. That they shoul have just minded their own business instead of concerning themselves with things that didn't impact them. Or we'll understand if we're human. That last one is even more apt.

Because being human is a very subjective concept, and it's easier for humans to consider others less human than they are. So it raises the question for me-

When did their victims stop being human to them? When did those people's humanity begin to matter so little that they basically tore it away. That they snuffed out that life. From the concept of a murder maliciously being committed. From the concept of someone no longer being alive to discuss what being human is to them because of something all ten of them directly did whether one believes they killed them with their bare hands or not. These ten sit here speaking on and on about their feelings ans what they had to go through. What it was for them.

Yet, they're still breathing some very comfortably while fully knowing at times someone or multiple people are dead because of them. When we objectively step back and think about forgiveness as a concept in milgram. It truly does just highlight why no one here deserves it. Except probably Yuno is you subscribe to the theory that her murder was just an abortion which I don't. I just feel the need to specify here that I am assuming everyone here has killed a very real other person with a life and family of their own even if they were a part of the prisoners' families.

So, no one goes, but some of them didn't directly kill. This is also a good way to still cover well yeah even if they didn't do it directly someone can no longer live out the rest of their lives due to their actions and that's still fucked up. In everyone else's case, but again, Yuno's.

Thinking about it from this perspective simply makes it more messed up that they can sit here and say the things that they do, knowing that someone else can't talk at all anymore because of their choices. That's the heavy thing about deciding whether one can forgive someone for something that results in another person's or multiple persons death or not, in my opinion.

Because forgiveness isn't about if something can be justified. It's not if the person's feelings were valid. It's about an individual choosing to see the negative outcome of another person's behavior and excuse the transgression. It's about recognizing that people will be flawed and understanding that they very well may continue to be.

Regardless of how many times they're forgiven or told that the behavior is detrimental to themselves or those around them. Such as with the behavior we see Mahiru exhibit in I Love You. It's about knowing that just because you extend forgiveness it doesn't mean you endorse or allowed whoever you forgave to do whatever they did after that point. Like with Kotoko.

It's about asking where your line is? How many times can someone say sorry just to do something worse before you go actually I'm not forgiving you. Because forgiving someone is never the problem. Condemning or excusing an action is never the problem.

How people continually exploit forgiveness being extended or denied is. There's only so far an apology can rightfully go.

In example-

If I broke my neighbors window by accident. It'd be pretty easy to forgive me and sort it out with words. Yet if I did that and then each time I went over or passed their home after that point things pf theirs kept winding up broken at a point I have no one to blame but myself for them not wanting to forgive me. Forgiveness isn't a green light to keep making the same mistakes. It's not an endorsement of the behavior or a pass to go and do it again.

It's a recognition of someone making a mistake and a personal choice to go,

"I recognize your error here, and I forgive it."

What people do with that after isn't indicative of the character of those who forgave them. It's indicative of their own character. If people were kind enough to forgave someone, and that someone then went and did the same thing again. That's a sign that the problem was fucking them to begin with. We can all choose to forgive or not, but we just aren't entitled to having individuals respond how we believe they should to that choice.

If someone uses you forgiving them as an excuse to do the thing again. That is literally the definition of a bad person. They know the thing was wrong. They know it hurt people. They recognize it ended lives. Through doing it again after having their apology accepted, that person is showing everyone that they do not care.

It does not matter how many people get hurt, how others feel about it, or how it makes them look. They're going to keep doing it because it is simply what they want to do. Full stop.

That's the tricky thing about making Milgram about forgiveness to me. Because when it truly is about forgiveness, literally everyone here would be the definition of unforgivable. Unless I was extending immense benefit of the doubt. Assumed they never meant to hurt anyone and that they aren't here for murder but just a bunch of everyday things that Milgram has arbitrarily decided to compare to the worst crime imaginable simply because someone happened to die "technically". I say technically because again still don't consider abortion murder and would not consider aborting a child a death as a result but fuck it Milgram might.

In that case, the entire series is simply using the word murderer really loosely at that point, and none of them should be here.

[hyaciiintho]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: Adriel

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: He/Them

MUSE NAME: I have too many to list off, everyone's on my Carrd c':

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: Tumblr works just fine for me ♡ I tend to feel overwhelmed when I have a bajillion Discord notifications so I honestly fall off from it after a while before I gather the spoons enough to go back and respond to people proper. On tumblr, at least it feels like I'm sitting down at the office and getting ready to work on stuff, and therefore, the ton of messages just feels natural to have waiting for me here pfft~

EXPERIENCE: I've been writing on tumblr since 2014! Prior to that, I was roleplaying on Facebook since... 2011 ?? And prior to that, it was MSN, text message, and notebook roleplays between my friends and I throughout high school!

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: I enjoy the slice of life sorta roleplays. The things we don't usually get to see in a character's life because we're too busy following the main plot. Of course, I also do ADORE me a good mystery/deep plot to follow! Honestly, just give me a balance of interactions for our characters, and I'll be heaven ♡

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS:

When people don't read my muse's info and push on to assume things via their own interpretations or strictly canon interpretations. I had someone praise how much they adored my Hero of Time characterization and wanted to write with me so badly-- really hyped me up, y'know? So I happily obliged because I also really liked their take on their character after I read up on their stuff, and I was incredibly flattered by how much they liked my muse! They immediately showed me how they read not a single thing about my muse through the first response c': I soft blocked real quick and moved on. Another one had even assumed my muse was a child because my blog's title was "Child of Farore", despite his bio clearly reading 20 years of age LOL

People who constantly post OOC about how "no one likes them" or "no one wants to write with them". Look... I get it... it can feel isolating sometimes... but perhaps the reason people are avoiding you is because you keep bringing the mood down? Listen, I'm not specifically talking about the feeling of feeling down and alone every now and then. I'm talking about the specific types of people who weaponize this feeling. Because they're the types that, even when you shower them with activity and interactions, they still will post these things the moment you start lagging behind on replies. Or! If you show interest in another blog and have a lull in activity with them. They'll immediately post about how people are abandoning them. It's so... no thank you. It's okay to post here and there about a lack of activity, but don't blame other people or demonizing them for it. Interactions go both ways, and honestly, if it's such a trend that people tend to avoid you? Maybe the problem... is you? Speaking of insane activity standards, that brings me to my last one:

People who hold your activity hostage as a measure of your worth as a roleplayer. Even if they don't actively say it, these are the people who immediately unfollow you the moment you're inactive for like... a week? A month at most, and they'll constantly message you with "I replied btw" or "Hey how have you been? Did you see my reply?" and my favorite "-insert link to their reply here- In case you didn't see it" and then nothing else. Not a "Hope you're doing okay!" or "Hope you're having a nice day!". It's a huge turn off and absolutely decimates my will to respond. We're here to have fun, not to feel like it's a 9-5 job. I just wanna be silly with my characters and shove them at others to see what'll happen, not feel anxious and scared over whether or not someone is happy with my response speed and activity.

PLOTS OR MEMES: I adore coming up with a general plot to work around! Memes are still fun and handy to have when you don't know what sort of plot would work, or when you don't have an idea at the moment. But still... ask any of my writing partners, the moment the question of plots come up, I am sometimes spitting out entire chronicles complete with plot twists, climax points, and bumps along the road. It's just super fun c':

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: This is very much dependent on my motivation and energy... sometimes I can hit you with 10+ paragraphs... and sometimes I can barely type 2 sentences :'D I would prefer to do long replies, but sometimes... sometimes... I just wanna throw a few words out and call it a job well done LOL

BEST TIME TO WRITE: The only time I really have to write, is late at night after work, and by then? My brain is so tired and I am so drained that I struggle to do much of anything that requires thinking. I think I used to be super active sometime around midday? Back in the day, at least. Now, I'm still searching for that peak hour when my brain wants to pour out words. Mornings seem appealing... I miss early mornings c':

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: There are aspects of me in every single one of my muses, but we're not exactly a 1:1 to each other, y'know? There are things some muses do that make me want to punch a wall LOL and others that I would only dream to be capable of doing so easily. So... yes and no...? c':

Tagged by: @tenebriism (once upon a time ago-- THANK YOU) Tagging: Anyone who would like to do it, just say I tagged ya~

[akehoshimystar]

Kiho SR

Enjoying The Scent

Part 1

Riku: So, here's the photo. Kiho: Wow, it’s sure something…

Riku-san and Kiho-san were sitting at the counter, looking at a photo.

Ito: Hello. Is something wrong? Riku: Ito. Well, I just saw something strange in a photo I took. So I asked Kiho to take a look at it just to be sure. Kiho: The photos Riku takes tend to be pretty unique, so it's normal for strange lighting to appear in them. But this one is a little hard to explain. Ito: Something strange that's hard to explain…? Are we talking about something like a photo where spirit appears? Kiho: I wonder if that fits the bill. Ito: (Kiho-san smile is as unreadable as ever, I don’t know if he thinks I was right.) Kiho: My bad, I was just teasing you. Even though there are the so-called spirit photos, many of them are the result of misperceptions and assumptions. Riku: There's also a simulacra phenomenon where three dots on a wall look like a face. I guess it's human nature to associate phenomena that we can't understand at first glance with spirits. Ito: I see. So was this also just some kind of misunderstanding…? Kiho: I wish I could say that.

When I looked at the photo Kiho-san handed me….

Ito: Roka-san? Riku: Yeah. He really made a peace sign with all his might….. Hey, not that one. Here.

Riku-san pointed to another hand of Roka-san that isn't making a peace sign. He's holding a doll….

Ito: ! The doll's eyes are glowing red…?

Since the photographer was Riku-san, the photo itself was blurred on purpose, which also contributed to the creepiness.

Ito: This is definitely a photo that makes you want to check the authenticity… (And the one that you won't be able to forget once you see it…!) Riku: Right? Kiho: At first I thought it was a reflection of the camera flash, but…. The reason the eyes of living things glow red or orange is due to the angle and timing of the light entering the pupil, so it seems weird to apply that to dolls. Ito: Which means…..? Kiho: I’m not sure if I can give you a clear explanation. Ito: (Avoiding a clear statement now, huh…) …Oh, I think I've seen this somewhere before.

Suddenly, I remembered something and took out my smartphone.

Riku: Do you know anyone who has a cursed doll? Ito: As far as I know, no, probably. Hmm, what should I search for again? Oh, I remember now…..

Part 2

Ito: Here.

I held up my smartphone with the search results on SNS displayed and presented it to them.

Riku & Kiho: A video? Ito: Yes. This doll is quite popular with students and has been quite a hot topic on SNS. When you turn it on, its eyes light up. The surrealism seems to be what makes it so popular.

The two of them looked puzzled as they watched the video for a while, then compared it to the photo and burst out laughing.

Riku: It was this all along, huh? Kiho: I see, so it has always been like this. Riku: So the red eyes function was on when this was taken. Kiho: And it’s popular among students too. What should we do now? We're being left behind. Riku: If Kyoya had been here, we might have known already. Thank you, Ito. We couldn't have found the answer without you. Ito: Don’t mention it, I’m glad it doesn’t bother you anymore.

The two of them looked relieved and resumed their chat while sipping their drinks.

Riku: But, the fact that it was on Roka’s hand should be enough clue that the doll itself has some sort of mechanism. Kiho: What's tricky about this photo is that it's also topped off by Riku's unique photography technique. There are just too many things to consider. Riku: Did you just diss me? Kiho: No?

It was refreshing to see that the topic between these two people, who would normally have difficult conversations, turned out to be a trending topic on SNS. Through their exchange, I felt a little closer to them.

[c-rowlesdraws]

Ooh these are some interesting questions!

1. Art programs you have but don't use? and/or 11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

I'll answer both! (But for the sake of my stamina + pathetic attention span I'd encourage people to ask just 1 question at a time)

1. ohhhhh I've got a few lol. I tend to be very bad about trying out new art programs, and really only shift from one to another when the one I was using stops being supported or I'm otherwise forced to change my workflow. The first digital art program I used for a very long time was Corel Painter, and then I switched to Photoshop, which I still use (I know, I know) despite friends trying to turn me on to Clip Studio. I have Clip Studio! It is by all accounts a wonderful program. I just can't bring myself to invest the time into learning all the quirks of a new program when Photoshop is still right here. Call me again when I finally get fed up with giving Adobe my money. I also have Autodesk Maya still sitting in my taskbar, from way back when I had a subscription... but I prefer Modo for 3D modeling and haven't touched Maya since the last time I had to animate something. So now the icon is just there for... decoration, I guess? Like a mantlepiece knick-knack for my computer. 11. Sometimes if I'm getting very frustrated or just need a break from Sounds, I will pause or turn off the stuff I'm listening to while drawing, but that's the exception rather than the normal state of things. I love listening to music, sometimes music that matches the mood or aesthetic of what I'm drawing (listening to Talisk when painting a nature scene, for example), but usually just my Spotify library on shuffle, or Radiooooo. "Good drawing music", to me, tends to be music with a good but not too repetitive beat, and either all instrumental or with lyrics that don't tell so specific a narrative that I'll get distracted. Lyrics in a language I don't understand also work well. Sometimes I'll go out of my way to listen to music that "fits" a particular character that I'm drawing.

When I'm not listening to music, I listen to podcasts, or put YouTube video essays on and try to not give in to the urge to look at them instead of the canvas. My favorite podcasts right now include Well There's Your Problem (a podcast about engineering disasters, with slides), "How Did This Get Made" (about bad movies), and "Maintenance Phase" (about diet and wellness industry trends, controversies, and influencers). My go-to YouTube video essayists used to be the holy trinity of hbomberguy, Jenny Nicholson, and Lindsay Ellis (who has been making new content exclusively on Nebula for a while now), but other favorites are Big Joel, Jacob Geller, Dan Olson (Folding Ideas), Caitlin Doughty (Ask A Mortician), and Defunctland.

Sometimes I listen to/"watch" Let's Plays and video game streams while drawing, too! My current favorite streamers are supergreatfriend (also @supergreatfrien right here on tumblr!), Helloween4545, and my friends Kristi and Liana at Vodka Auntie Cabaret.

[supervor]

@anarchotolkienist I can tell you mean well. I do thank you for trying, it is more than so many people are doing right now and it is appreciated. So I'm sorry if this comes across harsh, but I'm not going to mince words here. It should not be that hard for you, or anyone else, to not be antisemitic. And if you are finding it difficult to tell if other people actually care about Palestinians or if they are just looking for an excuse to hate Jews, that should be a sign to educate yourself on the history of antisemitism and how to spot dogwhistles.

Since you do seem genuine, I will take the time to help get you started:

The woman talking about "zionists in the government" - definitely antisemitism. The word "cabal" is taken directly from the name of a sacred Jewish text, and the antisemitic trope of Jews controlling the government goes back centuries.

Always be wary of people who use the term zionist without clearly stating what definition of Zionism they're using. (Yes there are many varying definitions and many different opinions within the Jewish community about what Zionism actually is or means).

If someone is talking about "zionists", do a mental exercise. Take what they said and replace the word "zionists" with "Jews". Then try replacing it with the name of a different marginalized group that has nothing to do with this conflict. If someone was saying the same thing about Hindus or Asians, would you still want to associate with them? If the answer is no, then you shouldn't associate with them if they say those things about Jews.

"Zionist" is more and more often used as a dogwhistle for "Jew I don't agree with". I've been called a zionist for the mortal sin of expressing sorrow for the civilians slaughtered by Hamas on October 7th and sympathy for the families that still have loved ones who are being held hostage while still trying to advocate for Palestinians. Antisemites and neo Nazis have fully co-opted the term. It is very easy to criticize the Israeli government and its actions without ever talking about Zionism, so why sound like a Nazi when you don't have to?

"Zionists are the new Nazis" - 100,000% antisemitic. This is a trope called Holocaust Inversion and it is always antisemitism. No one ever gets to compare Jews to Nazis or make those kinds of Holocaust comparisons. That doesn't mean you can't talk about the reality of what is going on. Call Netanyahu a fascist shit bag all you want, I certainly do. But you don't get to compare him to Hitler.

This one tends to get pushback from people. So if you feel yourself challenging this one, or seeing others do it, ask "why the Holocaust?" Is it just that it's the only genocide people can name off the top of their head? If that's the case then they should probably do a bit more studying about genocide in the modern era before they make sweeping proclamations that amount to ahistorical nonsense. If people are talking about genocide, there are lots of other more recent examples. So why the Holocaust? What makes this situation a perfect comparison to the Holocaust but not Rwanda or Cambodia? Is it that the victims are primarily Muslim? Then why not make comparisons to Myanmar or the oppression of the Uyghurs in China? The only logical explanation for why someone would make Holocaust comparisons in this scenario is to hurt Jews, so don't do it.

(Reiterating that I am not talking about you, OP. Just that these are trends and patterns that I and others have noticed, and trying to explain how harmful statements like these are)

I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember the exact quote, but it goes something like "if there are ten Nazis at a table and you sit down with them, then there are eleven Nazis at a table".

Everyone in the Pro-Palestine movement: stop sitting at the table with Nazis.

If anyone wants additional information or further reading please feel free to reach out.

Zionist can absolutely be used as a dogwhistle to mean Jewish person. Far from always, but frequently enough that you should be worried. The white English woman who spoke at a rally for Gaza that I attended who described the Westminster government as 'a government occupied by Zionists' probably meant it as such, I reckon. The sign someone put up earlier on the same rally saying "Zionists are the new Nazis" with a swastika and a magen david (not the Israeli flag, mind, just the Magen David) almost certainly meant it as such. The two literal neo-Nazis from the Scottish neo-Nazi organisation Highland Division who attended last Saturdays march absolutely certainly meant it as such. The utter refusal to understand that there is any anti-Semitism present at all in the Palestine solidarity movement is at best naïve, and actively opens the ground for forces like that within our movement. The fact that Zionists falesly claim anti-Semitism on any and all criticism of the state of Israel only makes this more difficult for our movement, but it doesn not mean that it never exists, or that criticism of Israeli policy is never anti-Semitic. It is a very very difficult balance to strike, to struggle against Israeli apartheid and the genocide of the Palestinians without opening the way for the most dangerous politics there is, but it must be struck.

[lyra-azalea]

2024 reading stats

Author's nationality (this could be flawed)

Favourite reads

Other books that stood out to me

Thoughts

I'm quite happy with my reading this year. I wanted to get back into reading, since last couple of years I've been constantly distracted by other things and reading published work hasn't grabbed my attention like it used to. The number of books read could be higher, and it pales in comparison with some readers, but it's good enough for me.

A while ago I've noticed that my reads tend to circle around my interests at the time. This year these themes were women-centered stories and authoritarianism. Also, I read several authors that were in the 'one day I'll read this' category and I'm happy about that. Looking back I'm seeing that short stories tend to fade from memory faster, especially those that were read in one sitting. I should try to gravitate towards longer books next year, but time will tell where my interests will take me.

I've been thinking for some time that I'd like to read more diversely, specifically authors from different countries and this year I took that goal a bit more seriously. I've read books from countries I've never read anything from, including Colombia, Haiti, Egypt, Uruguay and others. I'm happy that I've found new authors whose other work I'm interested in going trough, mostly Olga Tokarczuk and László Krasznahorkai. Hopefully this trend will continue next year.

[wedriftlikelonelyplanets]

for the soft asks: 7, 10, 16, 28

7 - Who do you feel most yourself around?

My best friend, probably. We've been friends for like...an entire eternity. She's seen the best parts, she's seen the bad parts, she's seen me at my highest masking, at my lowest masking, she's come over and cuddled me when I was at my most mentally ill. She's been there through my insane decisions regarding careers and school. We're more siblings than we are friends, at this point. That, or I have a small handful of online friends who have been around for a LONG time. They met me when I was probably my most mentally ill, and have been around for me to figure out so many parts of my life. Two of them and I have only started to get really close over the last year and a half, but IDK what I'd do without them, tbh.

10 - When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?

OKAY SO this doesn't mean much, because I laugh a LOT. I have the approximate brand of humour of a 12 year old boy, but I also tend to get really slap happy without enough sleep, and when I've been masking too much for too long. So a couple weeks ago at work, my coworker and i just kept this trend of vaguely kinky, pervy jokes going back and forth for HOURS.

This was then followed by a doctor asking me to collect blood on this sassy little white dog. He didn't have many teeth, but he also didn't want to sit still, and in order to do (god i wish there was like a spoilers option like discord) a jugular blood collection, we need to be able to handle the nose without them trying to bite. So we went to attempt to put a muzzle on this dog and he was just being SO fucking ridiculous that we had trouble getting the muzzle on, but in the most hilarious way. So I literally fell down I was laughing so hard, and absolutely was crying while laughing.

16 - What's something you want to create soon?

Man this is a loaded question. I've been creating a lot, lately, so I don't know if there's really anything specific. Honestly I'd love to finish creating this fic combo i'm writing, because I think it's probably one of the best things I've written. Other than that, I really need to do some more jewelry making, and there's this really cute idea i have for a strawberry necklace that I want to make, but I haven't actually STARTED it yet.

28 - What are you proudest of?

This is gonna be corny as fuck, but probably the person that I've become in the last year and a half. A little over a year ago I was working in an incredibly toxic vet clinic environment, I was in a situationship that wasn't going anywhere and was also making a MESS of me and my anxious attachment style, and I was in a weird place mentally. I've now figured out a lot of things about myself that have made figuring out why i'm the way I am in some situations easier, it's made it easier for me to accommodate myself, I feel less guilt about things, and most of the time I like myself better. Along with that, I've moved into a clinic that's reignited the passion in me for my job and my career, and has made me WANT to do more.

That, and I'm surrounded by people who care about me, even when I'm bad at messaging back, or bad at maintaining contact, and I've made new friends too, that love me for me and my mild unhinged-ness.

I still can admit that I'm a deeply flawed person, as we ALL are, but at least I'm becoming a better version of myself.

[mama-cloud-goddess]

7 Baby "Hacks" I've Found Most Helpful

It feels weird to call most of these "hacks;" they're mostly preferences. But everyone calls nearly everything a hack nowadays and I got swept up in the trend. I've also seen "hack" posts including similar things to my points in this post, if not exact things, so I'm struggling to find another term for it.

Anyway.

One changing station. I'd seen a video of a mom saying that she kept a diaper caddy (diapers, wipes, rash cream, etc) in every room of the house so she wasn't constantly having to run to the room with the changing table when her baby had a blowout. For the first couple of weeks, I did this too. I kept a pack of wipes and a stack of diapers in the nursery, the living room, and the bedroom so that no matter where I or my fiancé were, we could easily change our son. I decided shortly after that it was too overwhelming to have changing supplies in every room; plus, I lost track of things way more often. I never knew how many packs of wipes we had left or where the hell the diaper cream was, and my son had a particular fondness for peeing all over the couch when I changed him there. So I decided to use his official changing table as the only changing station in the house and it's honestly so much better.

Two beds. In contrast to the last point, having two beds for my son (technically three, if we include the portable pack-n-play) has been very useful. We were gifted a crib/changing table combo that we keep in the nursery and use for his daily naps. We were separately and unexpectedly gifted a playpen/bassinet combo that we keep in the bedroom for nighttime sleep. That way as soon as he cries (or my alarm goes off on nights he sleeps past his feeding time), I'm up and tending to him, and he doesn't have to wait for me to drag myself down the hall. It also helps my anxiety to be able to peek over to the other side of the room and check on him versus staring at the video screen of my baby monitor.

Minimal bottles. When I first unpacked all of the bottles we received as gifts and counted only five, I wondered if I should buy more. I soon discovered, however, that having a limited number forced me to regularly wash them, keeping them from getting nasty and piling up in my sink until I had time. Washing used bottles is now part of my daily morning routine. I further proved this to myself when I was gifted a breast pump that came with about six bottles and, during a few days of exhaustion and executive dysfunction, used all of them and left them sitting on my living room table. Trust me; minimal bottles are your best friend. Unless maybe if your kiddo goes to childcare, then you might want some extra. I'm a work-from-home mom, so I don't know.

Multiple breast pumps. Despite the fact that having multiple pumps enabled my lazy bottle pileup, having options was a blessing. I started off with a Spectra, which if you're unfamiliar is a radio-sized machine that requires being plugged in in order to work. My next pump was a Zomee, which was much smaller and more compact as well as rechargeable, so it was much easier to use. My current favorite pump is wearable, and though it's bulky and a little awkward to keep in place while I'm moving about the house, it's by far the most convenient because I can stuff it in my bra and not have to sit in one place holding the flange to my boob. But my point is that I think trying (if you're able, breast pumps are expensive and I'm grateful to have been gifted the first two) multiple styles is important to ensuring you have a pleasant breastfeeding journey (if you choose to breastfeed - we don't bottle shame here).

Baby laundry detergent. When I first brought my son home, I washed his clothes and blankets separately but used the same detergent as the rest of us. It was plain old Tide, so I didn't think it would cause any issue. it took me longer than I'd like to admit to realize that my detergent was giving him eczema breakouts, so I switched to a baby specific brand. Between that and baby eczema lotion, his breakouts cleared right up. I'd toyed with the idea of switching everyone in the house to baby detergent, but the one I bought was more expensive than Tide, and there are three adults in the house, so the expensive baby detergent would be gone quickly. It's more cost-efficient for us to just buy both.

Hangers. In my current residence, we don't have a standard washer and dryer, because we live on the second floor with a narrow staircase and don't want to risk our lives carrying a washer and dryer upstairs. Instead, my ex-husband, when he lived here, bought a portable washer and spinner from Amazon. I'm sure you've seen it - they've been all over TikTok and Facebook Marketplace. It's not my favorite thing in the world, but that's not the point. It includes a spinner, not a dryer, so we still have to hang our clothes up to air dry them. I bought tiny hangers for my son's clothes, and honestly, it's much easier than having them folded up in a dresser. Putting things away (clothes, dishes, groceries) is the bane of my existence, so I often leave my own laundry hung up in the laundry room instead of packing it into a drawer. Plus, babies spit up a ton, and blow outs are common, and it's much faster to pluck a onesie off a hanger than it would be to go through a dresser.

Frozen pacifier. My son started teething early. Before I started buying proper teethers, since he's only 3 1/2 months old and can't hold a teether in his mouth yet, I decided to stick his pacifiers in the freezer. He absolutely loves it. When his gums are bugging him, a cold pacifier soothes him immediately. It obviously doesn't stay frozen for long, since there's no liquid in it to keep cold, but the initial cold is enough to distract him. His pacifiers now live in the freezer. I alternate them one at a time - whenever he needs a cold one, I stick the one he's currently spitting out back in its place.

I hope some of these "hacks" prove useful to you. Feel free to comment with your own!

[lunarsilkscreen]

Running (with your feet)

I've been struggling with running since before I was medically discharged from the military for related reasons. I feel this obligation to still pass a physical fitness test despite being no longer required.

And even though I probably can't quite yet (I have a feeling I will be after I lose about 30 more pounds) I've come across quite a few tips that physical therapists, fitness instructors, and people generally trained in the subject tend to overlook for people.

The first one involves that trending TikTok about "VO2 Maxing". Which is fairly simple. If you want to run good, you need to breathe good. Because breathing good helps you keep running.

To do this; Learn how to swim good. Because swimming trains your body on breathing, specifically because you're swimming face down most of the time and are forced to hold your breathe; your body learns how to regulate your breathing much better.

While you're doing this, make sure you're learn proper usage of your kicking muscles for swimming as well. Don't skip on the leg part of swimming.

The next thing you need to keep in mind is to "Never Sit Down". I mean this. In order to strengthen your ankles, simply standing up will suffice.

For simple leg exercises; squats and bouncing on your tippy toes helps strengthen your legs and feet.

And last; your weight will slow you down. Even if it's all muscle. So you must keep in mind that you will likely be faster if you loose weight..but if you're a pro body builder, maybe that part isn't for you.

Actually lastly; avoid Sugary Drinks.

I'm certainly a hypocrite in this, in that I don't stand up all the time anymore and just can't quit SodaPop. Because the diet brands give me an upset stomach.

Actually lastly, since you likely won't stand up all day; go for an hour long hike minimum daily.

Bring your podcasts and games or whatever, just go for a walk with them.

Your body will let you know when you're ready to run.

And when you do, start slowly. Add a 5-10 minute jog. Get used to using your body in this way; remember to bounce on your toes, not your heels.

And then when you're ready to go faster, it'll feel like no difference at all.