#I've been saying for years that social media is like a cancer lol

[theveryworstthing]

I'm Alive

I posted this on patreon so I might as well post it again here. Hopefully current and past patrons see this as well as people who have just been generally curious about where I've been.

I'm very sorry for not being around and I'm very grateful to those who stuck around. To those who didn't, I get it and I truly appreciate you passing through. 

Last year and the beginning of this year have been pretty bad. Some of you might have heard about my grandma's death and sadly, she was just the first of the family losses in the time I've been gone. There was also a friend's death discovery, my parents' health tanking, my friends Going Through It, and my own physical/mental problems. I didn't want to talk to the internet about these things because they were/are very overwhelming and private and tbh I used all my energy to help with the household and make sure work got turned in on time. When I had spare time after dealing with the near constant disasters, I didn't really feel like interacting with the internet at all beyond using it as a way to talk to far away friends (mostly to give them the thumbs up that i was alive) or watch/read things when my brain was less scrambled. Social media was an absolute no go and I didn't have any non-work art to post so I just kind of mentally crawled under the porch to die lol. 

I only drew work related things for months due to extreme burnout and it took me almost a month off after my last job to remember how to create again. I couldn't draw or write, it was kinda like art block except it was more like nothing was there at all? It's hard to explain. 

Things are still happening but I need to get back in the saddle eventually so here I am. 

I'm going to post the little art I did in June and all the sketches I did in January when I re-learned how to draw for myself. Again, I'm so sorry for being away without saying anything and I'm grateful to whoever threw me a buck, or even just casually enjoyed my art. Leaving like I did was really irresponsible and there's no excuse for not at least making a post about all of this sooner.  Every month I got a patreon payment was another wave of guilt because I literally couldn't give y'all anything but at the same time that money was letting me book flights to funerals and keeping my mom comfortable while she recovered from surgery right after I spent a lot of my savings in 2022 trying to fight my late cat's cancer. And then not posting about what was going on made me more anxious as time went on because there was more guilt every month so I felt like I needed to come back with a bunch of art and energy and good reasons and it was just. A Mess. 

But anyway.

I'm alive, I'm back. The Horrors persist, but so do I.

Thank you for your patience.

[keyh0use]

why I've been absent & tw for m*rder, su*cide

I know I don't really owe anyone an explanation but I want to give one for my own piece of mind because I feel so guilty. Back in February I was injured really badly and hospitalised, and a couple days later my cousin, Christopher, was brutally murdered in prison. As a CO myself I've seen it happen more times than I can stomach to think about so it wasn't a huge shock, but we had gotten close over the last couples years, trying to provide him the support the rest of our family has denied him since his sentencing. Amongst so many other things we surprisingly had in common, he wrote too (not the same content as me, obviously, lol) and he was willing to provide me with a perspective I could only speculate on in Delicate, going over the relationships and how he would feel reconnecting with the person who got him incarcerated, like Rafe does with Barry in the story. And he succumbed to his injuries all by himself, no funeral, no obituary and I clung to that fic, terrified if anyone read it and criticised it I would literally never write again. As a distraction I put all my efforts into a story where Rafe tries to follow in his mothers footsteps by committing suicide, I just felt the heartache for it. My first funeral was for my aunt and uncle, Chris' parents, also murdered and the comparisons kept coming until I finished it. Then the same thing happened, it felt too real and vulnerable to share. So I tried writing something lighter, couldn't. Vampires? Blood, killing. Reminded me too much of what it felt like to be really hurt. And like what happened to someone I cared deeply for. As the months went by I pushed myself way too hard to get better physically and emotionally, pressured myself to sit through movies that made me uncomfortable to try and associate violence with actors instead of myself and ended up just getting way, way worse when I faced my attacker in court. Things slowed down after that, I tried to give myself a break that didn't make me feel guilty, ignored all the messages and comments asking for updates, just stayed off this side of social media all together so I wouldn't be reminded I'm not giving people the content they follow me for. My grandfathers cancer progressed, I spent a lot of time with him thankfully, and he committed medically assisted suicide the day of my best friends wedding rehearsal. The next night? Love of my life confesses his feelings for me but it's too late, we never said anything over the last 11 or so years and a couple weeks ago he married someone else. We buried my grampy, miscommunication tropes are super fun to write about but absolutely suck in real life, and I'm still not really feeling up to posting anything. All this to say I'm really sorry if I'm disappointing anyone. All I can do is promise I'm trying to figure everything out and that I haven't abandoned any works.

[bangtthedoldrums]

life update?

July is almost over, i think these days i'm seeing glimpses of light at the end of the 27 tunnel. why am i writing all these on tumblr, you may wonder? i'm attention-seeking, i seek attention, i fear.

(let's bffr, whose attention am i seeking when i literally have <5 followers here haha, what a melodramatic bitch)

these days i'm feeling relatively stable. i'm laughing a lot, i'm smiling a lot. i mean i was already starting to, then the whole Kamala effect kicked off and i find myself laughing at dumbass things - nothing's ever that serious lol

the astrology people on twitter were not kidding about Saturn's return. 27 has been so fucking difficult, i can see why Club 27 even exists in the first place.

i wouldn't say i was "fighting" the last few months, "fighting" to stay alive? nah. some of my friends know i'm absolutely not "fighting" in any way. i'm glad i hung around i guess?

Sufjan, you're undeniably talking to yourself in this track. i would like to answer your question if that's okay. i probably wouldn't a few months ago, but yes, now i do care if i survive this.

oh god it's finally happening i guess. the time to get over a relationship is half the time it lasted. the timeline fits i guess.

"I'm frightened of the end, I'm drowning in my self-defense" and "Think of me as what you will, I grow like a cancer" sound about right.

"Did I cross you? Did I fail to believe in positive thoughts? Our romantic second chance is dead, I buried it with the hatchet"

"If I get a little prettier, can I be your baby? You tell me, 'Life isn't that hard' " yeah. sounds about right.

the season of pain and hopelessness has passed, and with resignation and acceptance comes revelation. and that revelation is that it's over.

okay. enough about that for now. please allow me to ramble on about things that have been in my head the last few days (or last few months haha).

the first thing - i'm not sure if i'm delulu or what, but please go with me here. these days i stare into the mirror, and my face looks like it's in the process of chiseling itself out. i can see my cheekbones. my cheeks look hollower. (but that could be an illusion? from the shadow of the temple of my glasses casted on my cheeks.)

i don't know if that is part of ageing. or if i lost weight. or if i'm sick. i feel fine though. but i would not be surprised if i secretly had lung cancer all these time from all those years of cigarettes smoking, and now vaping. who knows! i look hot so whatever.

the second thing - i've been listening to chappell roan a lot the last few months, just about the time i noped out of social media lol.

i've been returning to my punk/alternative/rock roots lately. i have too much pent-up rage lately methinks. rage from grief, rage from injustice, rage from.......... actually these two are mainly it. i can't really think of anything right now.

the third thing - penn badgley is so hot. haha. as a sapphic (mostly) no man has ever made me feel anything except penn badgley. not that joe goldberg persona though, it's dan humphrey and woodchuck todd. okay fine, there were. but i would like to mention penn badgley for now 😀

the fourth thing - i've been feeling a lot more social lately. being social online helps. talking to people helps. making plans with friends whom i love, trust, and respect helps.

i wonder if i wasted all these time isolating myself. maybe i'd be better quicker. or i'd lash out for no good reason. we'll never know. i guess it also helps when the trigger of my fight or flight isn't living down the hallway anymore?

the fifth thing - i find myself funny again. not like "i'm insulting someone for shits and giggles" funny. like i could make jokes again. like my humour is back. i scrolled through my reddit account a few days back and i don't even remember most of the comments i've made with that account. i used to be so funny and quick-witted. it's all coming back slowly so i'm glad 😄

okay folks, that's all for now. i've disappeared for a while but i'm back. thank you for your patience and understanding.

27's almost over. i don't know if i "can't wait for it to be over." i don't really feel anything about getting older. i'm literally still a baby when it comes to my prefrontal cortex. or a toddler if you're particular. i guess anything can still happen from now till September, the universe's always listening !!! 😀

why the tell-all now, girl? who knows! maybe i wna start documenting stuff again. i don't remember things from the last 8 to 9 months. with everything else that went on in my head i'm surprised that i lasted this long.

maybe i wna be honest.

"Come one, come all, I'll tell you my secrets. I'm kinda like a prettier Jesus"

this must be what Lorde feels when she wrote Solar Power

[golbrocklovely]

I really do not understand how people be acting sad about Kat new bf and saying that they miss Sam and Kat. I’m sorry but clearly their relationship wasn’t as happy as they wanted it to look like on social media and both of them deserve happiness. Especially Katrina. She wants someone who will settle down with her and spend some time with her and as much as Satrina was in cute, it was clear as day that Kat was not really happy with Sam being away most of the times and with his opinion on marriage (while it’s valid, cause it’s his choice, they were like on opposite end of stick). And ik that Sam included Katrina in many investigations, but please it’s not the same as just soending time together, alone, without cameras or yout bf best friend hanging around with you. I feel like Katrina finally found her second half in her new boyfriend and you should all be now happy for her and do not bring Sam I beg you. It has been a while since they broke up, Katrina moved on and is happy and Sam.. well he is on his own journey, figuring it out, clearly still lost. If you ask me I would say that if they would go back together they would just end up hurting each other again, because Sam still haven’t change much, he still didn’t found himself and Katrina still have the same priorities and same expectations.

i think when it comes to a lot of fandom stuff, not even just this, fans miss past times bc they're nostalgic. and i think that's how this fandom is for many things, including but not limited to sam and kat. they were together for eight years. that's basically all of snc's career to some degree. and most ppl are just used to them being a couple. so i think it's hard for a lot of ppl to wrap their heads around them not being together anymore, especially when it seemed like they were gonna go the distance.

but i also personally think you shouldn't be too upset at a relationship that you had no parts in. like yeah, be upset that that love is gone (bc that will always be sad, regardless of the couple) but… you gotta move on at some point.

idk if kat wants to settle down with anyone quite yet, but i think she wants to move on from her past and ryan seems willing to help with that lol but anyway i'm genuinely happy for her and i wish her the best in her relationship and her healing journey.

as for sam… i think the issue i've always sort of had with him is that he has peter pan syndrome and is terrified to grow up. and i think for him, marriage would have been the final nail in his youth coffin. do i think he dragged kat along? not necessarily. i think he thought he wanted marriage, but he was just hoping to push it off until the last second. but i think once colby got diagnosed with cancer, it opened his eyes and made him realize he just wasn't ready and keeping kat around until he was wasn't gonna help either of them in the long run. that's how you make resentment and bitterness fester.

i'm happy that they ended on relatively good terms. i wish fans would stop taking sides and just let both of them live. they seem to be figuring out what they want now. let them do so.

[cfxnote]

hello hello! i'm sarah in the cst timezone. it has been a minute since i've been in a group rp so pls bear with me and my lil babes. props to all of you with detailed backgrounds but both of my characters are new so ... (yes, i am a mess lol) anyway i'm here to love all of y'all and your characters!

(—) ★ spotted!! indira jones on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 31 year old looks like kylie bunbury, but i don’t really see it. while  the media personality is known for being ambitious my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be bratty i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song girl like me by jazmine sullivan {she&her / cisfemale} - penned by sarah, 25, female, she/her

I can't lie, I saw her gif and had to use her so.

Basic Information

Full Name: Indira Naomi Jones

Nickname(s): Indi, dee

Age: 31

Date of Birth: July 13

Hometown: raised in Arizona

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Orientation: Heterosexual

Religion: Raised COGIC

Occupation: Tv & media personality (think ryan seacrest)

Living Arrangements: with her dog

Language(s) Spoken: English, learning Spanish

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Kylie Bunbury

Height: 5' 7"

Tattoos: n/a

Piercings: ears, cartilage

Clothing Style: minimalist with pops of color

Distinguishing Characteristics: N/A

Health

Allergies: bullshit, but realistically dust mites

Sleeping Habits: goes to sleep early, wakes up early, often sleeps 6 hours

Eating Habits: mainly pescetarian

Exercise Habits: often 2-3x a week

Emotional Stability: well would say 8 probably a 6

Sociability: forced extroverted introvert

Body Temperature: hot-natured

Addictions: chocolate

Drug Use: n/a

Alcohol Use: socially and every saturday

Favourites

Weather: overcast

Colour: red

Music: indie, soul, r&b

Movies: rom coms, documentaries

Sport: baseball

Beverage: iced latte with oatmilk and a pump of caramel

Food: filipino food has never done her wrong

Animal: otters

Family

Father: biological unknown, step father patrick monroe, 67, occupation unknown

Mother: caroline jones, 58, nurse

Sibling(s): 2 step brothers

Children: n/a

Pet(s): small poodle named rex

Family’s Financial Status: middle class

Extra

Zodiac Sign: cancer

Temperament: choleric

Bio

Indie never had dreams to end up in hollywood, her main goal was out of the U.S. - clearly she failed there

Her own mother had put aside her dreams of being an pilot when she was born. Caroline Jones was 26 with a newborn and her ass freshly kicked to the streets. By all definition she wasn't a teen mom, but she had been having an affair with a married man and shunned by her community.

Caroline moved from her Texas hometown to Arizona where a friend was offering a couch and a roof over her child's head.

For most of Indie's childhood, it was her, her mom, and Miss Martha, the woman who took them in. Although the same age as her mother, aunt martha was on all accounts the mother she needed.

Course her mother was in school for a lot of Indie's developmental years but even after that, her mother worked all the time and aunt martha did most of the raising. she was her discipliner, her cheerleader, and her confidant. everything the woman who gave birth to her was not.

She lost that the moment aunt martha got married. Indie wasn't exactly happy for her but she couldn't argue.

When Indie was 15, she and her mother moved to their own apartment.

At the new school, Indi joined the newspaper. Being forced to join a club so her mother could trust she was safe somewhere while she worked late.

She wasn't really a fan of the newpaper club, writing had never been her forte. When the media team came looking for help, she was a bit too eager to make the switch.

Being in front of the camera had been an easy adjustment. She had spent years putting on 'shows' for her aunt and she had the advantage of being a part of things without having to be part of it.

That was never something she saw herself doing for the future, it didn't seem like it would bring enough money, but it was something she continued in college.

Indie took her first chance to get away from home with college. Where she majored in business with plans to do something and minored in strategic communications mainly for fun.

While in her junior year, her mother got married. A wedding she didn't care to attend. Her mother still hasn't forgiven her.

Indi didn't enter the media world until she was 25, where she started as an assistant. It only took 2 years for her to become the face of the job she now loves.

Indi has been working as the main media personality for a big company for 4 years now. Red carpet interviews, hosting events, fashion takes.

Now she's looking to expand her portfolio, though she's not sure which direction.

to be continued

[astrologgeek]

⚠️ I do not give any permission to anyone reading this post to re-post my content nor plagiarize it. This content belongs to me and myself only @astrologgeek ⚠️

My ✨astro✨ notes

Part 1.

This is my first post on tumblr, I've been learning astrology for over a year now - and I have finally succeeded and wrote my own personal astrology notes! ⚠️these are my own personal observations and notes, which means that whatever I'm saying here isn't 100% astrology accurate & approved by any professional astrologer⚠️ hope you enjoy I guess <3 (BTW: if anyone wants to repost or anything pls tag me, and don't steal pls!! I've worked so hard on these.)

• Taurus risings have 2 types of luaghter: crying-like laugh because of their 3rd house cancer or a smirky / deep-like laugh because of their capricorn 9th house. As a taurus rising I approve this message.

• speaking of taurus risings: gemini 2nd house ppl may joke a lot about their self worth. They also have a very big vocal range - whether they can sing or not, they can be great at dubbing.

• Neptune in the 2nd house have dreamy voices / amazing singing abilities or they may sound like a someone that does drugs / smoke / just high.

• having your mars in the 10th house can indicate a modeling career, especially if your MC is in good aspects with your ASC.

• virgo 9th house people have the most provocative sense of humor, they are also a "know-it-all". Yet, they are extremely loyal, so passionate and devoted to their duties.

• whichever house your pluto is in explains your deepest fears and where there is true chaos in your life (I'll make a post about it!)

• having your pluto in libra - as pluto being the planet of our generations - means that these people have always tried to fit into norms and into society, to not stand out, to be the most basic they can try. I believe that if they had a catchfraze it would be: "fake it 'till you make it".

• whatever house you have libra in is an area in your life that tries to fit in norms / society / normality (libra 11th house: have friends that are normal & basic / you try to to fit in society to make friends)

• aries rising's facial expressions are IMMACULATE (aries rules the face, so it's fitting that their face and facial expression will be very dominant)

• if your lilith conjuncts your saturn then solving the dark and hidden parts of you will help your career life grow and evolve as well.

• Mars-neptune aspects makes your anger blurry - like you don't know when your angry or how to feel / express your anger. Bonus points if the moon has contact with mars.

• There are 2 houses that rule the feeling of not belonging: the 11th house (not belonging because ur special, unique, weird, not normal) and the 12th house (not belonging because of your lonely energy, your blurry energy that makes you feel drifted from everyone automatically)

• Parent & children 🤝 not understanding each other's generation. Why, you may ask? Most if the time the age gap between children & their parents is 25 - 40 years, now if pluto is changing it's sign every 12 (mostly) - 31 years it means that the gap of the signs is creating a square! Example: gen z (pluto in sag) & boomers and karens (pluto in virgo), yet gen z (pluto in sag) & gen of pluto in leo (our grandparents) are creating a trine aspect (good relationship between generations).

• Capricorn stelliums are the most impatient people ever, time just moves with their own schedule and they are the ones that are always perfectly in time. Why? Saturn, which is ruled by capricorn: is ruling time.

• 12th house placements in general but especially 12th house NN & chiron 10th house people have a hero complex, that we must help everyone and save everyone. It's because the 12th house is about selflessness and empathy.

• Sagittarius rising feel so intimate and private, like no one really knows them - because of their 12th house scorpio, which makes their intimate side hidden, and makes them a mystery.

• Your 7th house sign is also the sign you have celebrity-crushes & obsessions on.

• You can know leo's even without them having a sun, moon or rising in leo. They are just SO noticeable! Their energy is just IMMACULATE

• I think that 12th house people are very intersted in prisons, mental hospitals, illusions and parties actually! Now all of them are understood because of our natural will to search for the unkown and the mystery and the unrealistic stuff in our lives, stuff that makes your soul change.

But why parties? Parties may be a place filled with people and noise which 12th house ppl won't like but the thing is parties are a fun illusion, with the lights changing all the time and the music that makes our body adapt to an entirely different environment because of it - it makes u very much aware of everything within the noise and loudness and madness.

• Talking about parties and 12th house people - I have noticed that they have 2 options of how they act:

1. They sit in the corner and analyze literally anything or just drown in their own thoughts or distract themselves from "all of the eyes looking at them".

2. They try to dance and get involve in the party but they're or getting to carried away and then feel embarrassed af and isolate themselves or immediately regrets it and goes to isolate themselves.

• 10th house transits for ppl who haven't graduated high school / university yet will be manifesting in their school life because it's where you're "supposed" to find your career path.

• In my opinion, the co-ruler of fun (which is ruled by leo) is sagittarius. Why? Leo rules entertainment and sagittarius is the ruler of jupiter, which resembles happiness, optimism (, expansion, growth) which is like the soul purpose of fun and entertainment.

• Even tho communication and the social media are a mercury - thing, I actually think that specific parts have 2 or even 3 rulers. For example: articles are ruled by gemini, virgo and aquarius (gemini to represent the creativeness and flowing speech in the article (also gossip if included), virgo to represent the order and wording of the article and how it's represented and brought to the readers and aquarius is for the fact that articles always talk about new, innovative or unusual things that are happening currently [little bit of cap right here lol] in the world, which also bring awareness (def an aqua theme).

• As the 8th house representing secrets, intimacy and shared resources - it must mean that people with this stellium or placements LOVE gossip. gossip is the combination of shared resources (media - which related to my last note - so gossip pages are gemini scorpio thing), intimacy and secrets.

• I have a theory - vehicles, as all materials and machines - are ruled by earth signs, so here are each vehicles rulers in my opinion:

virgo rules the air-vehicles (plains, helicopters etc.) Because that's a mutable sign that's adaptable of change the most out of every earth sign, and because the sky is so unpredictable and there's infinite courses of ways to reach ur destination - virgo fits the most to it.

capricorn rules the sea-vehicles (ships, boats, submarines etc.) Because that's a cardinal sign, an initiator that doesn't wait for things to happen, but makes sure every sudden change has a stable solution, also the sea is such an exotic place - fitting for a Capricorn's rich taste in views and life. Other than that, water may be unpredictable as well, but less than the open air and sky. Capricorns are the sea goats for a reason ;)

And last but not least - taurus rules the earth-vehicles. As The most stable, grounded, stubborn & down to earth sign it's kind of fitting for the vehicles that moves through the earth to have taurus as it's ruler. As cars, motorcycles etc. Have roads, so does taurians have their own, only path. They depend on the only thing they trust and any sudden change will make chaos. It's also the most comfortable - the thing taurians are craving for most.

I HOPE U ENJOYED my astro-notes :) I'll def try to keep them coming lmao if y'all would want to. Hope y'all Have a nice day 💕

[eobard-thawne]

We realize how dc cares about the state of the company when they rehire G**ff J*hns and j*ph L**b again, besides racists are mediocre writers and responsible for the state the publisher is in (although it's not all their fault, D*d*0 and J*m L** im looking at you too) I hate this

this is months late but still so relevant and YOU'RE SO RIGHT NONNIE

i didn't know the controversy with jeph loeb at all, i've looked it up now and... it's absolutely disgusting holy f***

it's really disheartening to see that dc (and marvel) doesn't seem to care about these sensitive topics at all. like geoff johns hasn't said a word, i don't think he even apologized, kept working at stargirl and whatever else he did i really don't care about that piece of trash and he's just back... just like that like nothing's happened.

i also believe he took advantage of joss whedon getting all the heat at the time so ppl just forgot about him so gj kept it like that.

it's just like with warren ellis. you post a statement full of bullshit and a fake apology, stay away from social media for a few months and BAM everything's forgotten and everything's fine you get back to work.

and i'm seriously against the cancer culture dgmw but these are not some trivial things like an ignorant 20 something year old youtuber does... lives have been ruined for f**** sake!!!

honestly a list of things didio has done even i can't tell you but even after years people still talk about that guy he left some lifelong trauma behind him lol and don't even get me started on jim lee's nepotistic ass UGH

i have no idea how things are gonna change for the better, or if it will ever change for the better.. but at least the demography of comic book readers need to change and i know it's bs coming from ME someone who can only afford to read comics on pirate websites but the people who "buy" comics are unfortunately the type of people who simply don't care about things like this and it only makes sense for them to be the target audience of comic book companies.

like scott lobdell could just make a comeback and as long as it's a batman book you know no one could do or say anything. bc batman/fam books sell the most, and batman/fam readers are just the worst of the worst they don't care as long as they like what they are reading. (me just blaming batman readers so casually lmaolfkalf sry i know i'm biased)

only money talks in this business and that's just a shame. idk if pirate comics websites cause even a little loss for comic book companies then i'm doing my part slfksajf at least as much as i am able to given the circumstances lol

i'm so sorry this is so late and if i sounded like an idiot but i just needed to post this thank u nonnie for taking the time and i hope you're still around dkjfalk

[ellenneedscoffee]

some asks

I saw @whiisker share this and thought I’d give it a go. Originally posted by @lilflowerkiddo

• 1. have you ever been in love?

I have and still am. I’ve been with my boyfriend going on five years now.

• 2. who is your favorite artist?

There are so many! Charlie Bowater, Shirley Barber, Yehuda Devir, the list goes on.

• 3. what is your favorite music genre?

I cant say i have a favourite. I like all kinds of music, except for country but Luke Combs is an exception.

• 4. have you ever had a penpal?

I have two. I've known them for about 8 years I think? One of them is a fantasy author and I’m creating the covers for her new series. 

• 5. are you single or in a relationship?

Yep. I’m taken.

• 6. what color are your eyes?

blue.

• 7. what is your favorite word?

antidisestablishmentarianism.

• 8. do you play any instruments?

No but i’d like to. 

Favorite color?

Purple but I also really like emerald green.

• 10. do you have any nicknames?

Not really. Some people call me Elle but that’s mainy my dad.

• 11. what is your favorite flower?

Orchids.

• 12. what qualities do you find attractive in a person?

Well, My current boyfriend is technically my first so I’d say I love his humor and and his smile. Although sometimes I hate his smile because it means hes about to be a cheeky shit and I should be worried.

• 13. do you have any pets?

I have a land seal- I mean a Blue Healer and 3 cats. 

• 14. have you ever traveled outside of your home country?

No but I am planning on going to Bali at the end of the year. I would also love to visit Japan and the US.

• 15. what language(s) do you speak?

English. I did learn Indonesian when i was in primary school and high school but I only remember the very basics like “Good Morning” and “thank you”.

• 16. who was your first crush?

The crush i can remember was I guy I “dated” when i was 12. Turns out he was best mates with my boyfriend before he decided to hit his girlfriend and threaten to come to my bf’s house with a crow bar. Yeah, we don’t speak to him anymore...

• 17. do you wear glasses?

I have glasses but i don’t need them. I swear they’re just clear lenses because they don’t do anything.

• 18. what is your favorite pastry?

croissant

• 19. do you prefer swimming in a pool or in the ocean?

ocean. 

• 20. bright, dark, or pastel colors?

Half of my wardrobe is black.

• 21. what is your favorite social media app?

Instagram.

• 22. what is your sexuality?

Straight.

• 23. do you have any siblings?

I have two sisters. I’m the middle child.

• 24. what is your favorite scent?

Strawberry and cream body wash. My god so good.

• 25. where do you want to travel to?

Japan and the US.

• 26. what is your favorite film?

West Side Story. 

• 27. who do people say you look like? (celebrity/family member)

I look really similar to my younger sister (well duh). Total strangers recognize me because they know her and vice versa.

• 28. who is your best friend?

I've struggled with friends over the years but I can say that my current friend group are my best friends. We’re like a family, My friend’s son calls me Aunty Ellen.

• 29. what is your dream job?

Full time Illustrator. (*sigh* It would be a dream)

• 30. do you know how to drive?

Yes I do. I've had my licence for 9 months now.

• 31. who is/was your favorite teacher?

My grade 3 teacher, Mrs Roach. She’s so lovely.

• 32. are you a feminist?

Yes.

• 33. what is your zodiac sign?

Cancer

• 34. do you enjoy reading?

I do. I really want to read more. I’m currently reading Gumiho: Wicked Fox.

• 35. do you have any hidden talents?

I can twitch my nostrils like a rabbit.

• 36. have you ever dyed your hair?

Defiantly. I cant even remember the last time I had my natural colour.

• 37. what is your favorite thing in your bedroom?

My laptop

• 38. what is your biggest fear?

Failure. 

• 39. can you whistle?

Yes. (take that Pepper Pig)

• 40. do you make your bed every day?

I try to.

• 41. do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?

No. I might get a tattoo one day but i cant commit.

• 42. have you ever been on a roller coaster?

Yes and it was horrible I hated it. 

• 43. surfing or skateboarding?

Neither.

• 44. are you a dog or a cat person?

Cat.

• 45. what is your favorite animal?

OTTERS!

• 46. do you have a skincare routine?

I guess. I use a green tea face wash and toner and then i like to use an eye serum.

• 47. what time do you typically go to bed at and what time do you wake up at? 

Lately I've been going to bed around 10:30 - 11:00 pm and waking up between 8:30 - 9:00 am. But I depends if i have work that day.

 48. what is your favorite memory?

It only happened this past weekend but dancing with my boyfriend at a friend’s wedding. It was the couple’s dance and I don’t know why but I got really emotional lol.

• 49. how tall are you?

5 ft 4

• 50. what is the best gift you’ve ever received?

My laptop and drawing tablet.

• 51. do you have a garden?

I do but its all weeds.

• 52. do you like bugs?

Not really? Moths freak me out. I hate how big they get and fly in your face.

• 53. what is your natural hair color?

Brown.

• 54. what is your favorite food and drink?

I loooooove seafood. Salmon sashimi, prawns, oysters give me now! and bubble tea.

• 55. do you want kids?

One day. Defiantly not now.

• 56. what is/was your favorite class?

Art and Photography.

• 57. what color shirt are you wearing?

Black. 

• 58. if you could time travel, what year would you go to and why? 

I do miss the 00′s. 

• 59. what is your skin color?

I’m very pale.

• 60. hugs or kisses?

Depends who’s giving them.

• 61. have you ever drank alcohol?

Yes, I get very drunk on Fireball but I love it! It tastes like a cinnamon doughnut. 

• 62. have you ever done drugs?

No but i’ve considered trying marijuana at least once. 

• 63. netflix or youtube?

Youtube.

• 64. ice cream or frozen yogurt?

Frozen yogurt.

• 65. succulents or flowers?

Succulents but all mine are plastic.

Original post by lilflowerkiddo

[statecfgraace]

Hi Taylor

Hi Taylor my names is Jessica. I've been a fan since our song came out. I remember sitting in the car with my family and it coming on and I instantly fell in love with your music. I started collecting everything I could of yours. 2009 came around I was begging my dad doing anything I could to go see you live for the first time, luckily I got the chance to see you at Gillette stadium June 5th 2010. I had the time of my life and Im so thankful and grateful I got to see you. 2011 rolled around and I saw you at speak now tour June 26 2011. This was one of my favorite memories I got floor for the first time and I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be able to see you again. The person who I looked up to and changed my life was standing so close to me I couldn't believe it. Unfortunately I couldn't go to red or 1989 but I stayed online I kept up with everything and I was so proud of you and I still am! Today I'm seeing you again at Gillette stadium July 26 and July 28 2018!!! I'm so happy and grateful to be seeing you on the floor both times! I'm so excited I have my grandmother(Mem) going night one and my mom night two we are so excited to see you taylor ( I'm still trying to convince my mom to come to Gillette night two with me lol). My boyfriend Bradley and I have been together over 3 years almost 4 years in October I have listened and talk about you so much I turned him into a fan every time we get in the car he asks if I'm going to out your music on. I love being able to have him and listen to your music and be so genuinely happy. I have been a fan for so long and I have never stopped supporting you I won't ever either. You are the sweetest and the most kind person you are beautiful inside and out and I'm so happy I came across you song on the radio one day in the car. You have changed my life for the better. You make me happy and feel like I'm important just by listening to your music and hearing you talk about us, your fans. No matter how upset I am you always seem to cheer me up. I'm so thankful for you and I'm so proud of you for everything you're have accomplished. I'm proud that you felt like you could come back to writing and performing music it's sad to think people made you feel that way. Around three/four years ago I was in a really bad place in my life so I deleted and stayed off of social media ( except for keeping up with you and seeing how tour was going for you) I stayed off because social media only made me feel worse about myself but your music always made me feel better I wouldn't be online but I would be constantly keeping up with how things were. Recently I had lost my cat she was my best friend the only one I had and the most important thing in my life. She was diagnosed with cancer in her throat in January and they kept telling me I had to put her down but I know her better then anyone I knew she wasn't ready to say goodbye. I would have spent anything I had if I could have. I have always taken care of my Lexie no matter the circumstances but these last few months I made sure she could eat even if it was by being soon fed, I've bright her to the vets multiple times, I brushed her for hours gently getting the knots out of her hair because she couldn't anymore and so much more. Thursday may 31 2018 I had to say my final goodbyes. I guess I'm telling you this because I listen to your music and I just feel better it helps me get my mind distracted for a little bit and I just am s thankful that you do and help me with all these things. So thank you Taylor I'm forever grateful for you. Lastly I would just like to say taylor, you are so special and important weather all these negative comments from people make you feel otherwise. We all love and care for you and we will always be beside you supporting you through whatever. I promise to stand by you forever I love you so much @taylorswift I hope I can finally get the chance to hug you and tell you in person how much you mean to me someday ❤️

I love you taylor, Jessica ❤️

Twitter/Tumblr: statecfgraace