#I've been nervous to post art recently for some reason

[gay-ppl-real]

Silly wee comic that is one part based on that hc post I made and one part based on my fic Insect Removal Services

Also here's unblurred versions of Eddie and Frank's conversation in the background

Or at least they would be unblurred if Tumblr didn't compress them to oblivion??

[mewtwoandme]

I was hoping this would all blow over, but since it's continuing to happen, now with people attacking other artists of the commewnity. I'm putting out my two fucking cents! Cause this whole art/character theft and pointing fingers, who stole what from who bullshit it driving me up the fucking wall!!

Long story short, it started with me and one other blog whose name I won't mention publicly. Despite the horrible light they tried to paint me in, I don't want anyone going to this person and ganging up on them. This person had some serious bitterness towards more "popular" artists and claimed that I've made characters similar to theirs and once used a pose they apparently used before (which was a very common pose, considering it was a reference from the game version of mega Y). Since then, they had desperately tried to conjure up evidence, narrowing down to the most miniscule detail how I've been stealing from them when I hadn't even known their blog existed until I was forcefully thrown into that unnecessary drama with the unhinged call-out posts they've made. With this being said, I'd like to point out that they never came to me or addressed this concern with me in the first place. They had every opportunity to privately DM me if they had suspected I was "stealing," but no, simply because they already made up their mind that I was a thief, that was a good enough reason to lack common fucking sense and decency, making what should have been a private issue public, going on to villainize and dehumanize me. And apparently, it hasn't stopped with me either, cause recently I've been seeing other artists in the community having to deal with this where people are being white knights on high horses, pointing fingers on how one artist's mewtwo looks "the same" if not "totally identical" as another artist's mewtwo. I refuse to believe it's a coincidence. But what makes me disgusted is that since TC's post, apparently it's had the opposite effect on some people and they're hopping on this blame bandwagon like it's some damn media trend!!!

This is NOT okay! Nothing about this kind of behavior is funny! It's upsetting to all of us. We dont need you causing problems where there isn't any, thinking you're doing us a favor! The majority of us are adults for gods sake! We are old enough where we don't need other people coming to us being tattle tails saying this person did this and that. That's what little children do! If you suspect any form of theft, I think I speak for ALL creators in this commewnity that we'd prefer you DM us privately saying something like "Hey, I think this person is copying you, might wanna look into it." And if possible, provide a link to the art in question, for which we would kindly thank you for making us aware and we'll handle it ourselves from there. Just a brief, yet SIMPLE interaction...that's all we ask!!! Don't even come at me with "Well, it's scary attempting to talk to an artist that's well known." Or dare I say ~pOpUlAr~ If you claim that taking the first step to send me a quick DM makes you nervous, yet you have no problem making public call outs in posts or asks, belittling and degrading what could actually be innocent artists doing nothing wrong, literally leaving yourself open to all kinds of comments and opinions from all kinds of people....I'm sorry but your anxiety isn't as bad as you say it is then, if being rude and ignorant in a public post/ask is easier for you. If you come to us, shaming someone else who 9/10 probably isn't doing anything wrong, thinking you'll be in our good graces for doing so, sorry, you're not going to be told, "Good job!" with a pat on the back and given a lollipop! You're just being an asshole.

Quick reality check for everyone who's made it this far before I end this train wreck of a rant:

People can have similar ideas that coincide with one another! There's only so much you can do when a whole community is focused around drawing the same character! We mainly draw mewtwos and mews, you're bound to find a plethora of similar colors, patterns, and designs because of it! Creativity only goes so far when trying to stay true to a character and not stray too far. It's not a crime to take inspiration from other artists' characters, we actually encourage this! It makes us feel good that you liked something we've done and you want to incorporate it into your own designs! It makes us happy that we inspired you! The line is crossed when someone does a literal copy/paste of a character down to the exact detail, and they call it their own original creation. That my friends is what stealing actually is!

[bear-remn]

—shu headcanon's!

hi! I've been thinking a lot lately about the Sakamaki brothers and I came up with some headcanons that maybe you guys can enjoy too, the first one in this series is shu so enjoy! also a little art piece i make during maing this post.

tw: there are some nsfw headcanons!!! if you dont like that content dont read it!

his looks and selfcare

i do think that shuu is very, good looking, shu has that kind of elegant beauty, with his fine face and a straight nose, clearly his eyes are what attract the most attention when you see him for the first time, also shu has a very penetrating and fixed gaze, in addition to the fact that his blue color makes him have a captivating look and sometimes makes people nervous without realizing it, just because of his natural gaze.

even so, shu does not realize how attractive he is, at least not entirely, mostly bc he doesnt take care of his face, like he dont put any cream or special soap on his skin, he is totally the guy that barely wash his face and has a perfect skin.

but i do think that when he wants to, he definetly put sunscreen bc thats what he thinks is makeup for men.

and maybe this is a little... dirty? but i truly belive shu does'nt shower too often, maybe three times a week? or sometimes two, and he does not smell, like too bad, bc he dont sweat for some reason, but does sometimes stink with that smell, when somebody is for too long in a bed... that kind of smell.

and the times he showers he truly takes that shower like if it was his last, ofc is a bubble bath and he puts some candles and music while he just rest in hot water. is shu's private moment with himself. and he loves vanilla and chocolate candles.

and about shaving, he has a happy trail, but cant grow a hole beard, for some reason it just grow under his chin and it bothers him so he shave it right away. and about his body hair it is very thin and not so visible.

talking about skin, something shu needs, is to feel soft things to the touch, like his sheets, he makes his bed all the time and loves the smell of vanila or lavanda the bed has when its recently done, and its the same with his clothes, he needs cotton clothes, if shu feel something that is minimally rough or that makes his skin itchy, he never wears it again or throw it away.

shu does not brush his hair too often, mostly bc its not hard to control and he likes how he looks with messy hair.

i like to think that shu has a wide body, big shoulders and a thick waist, he has a prominent v line, his arms are a little thick too, and his hands are big, but his fingers are more thin and long, as he use to play piano. and he takes care of his nails, doesnt put nail polish but do cuts them and keep them clean.

random stuff

sometimes shu doesnt realize his shirt is inside out, and he realize just when somebody else point it out. but shu dont care.

shu is actually a goosip, so he puts one of his earphones bad just so he can hear what people are talking even if it had nothing to do with him.

and a little secret of him, when shu cant sleep and is alone, he looks at cute/funny (mostly shitpost) videos, memes and photos of animals, shu is totally an animal lover.

on his vacations shu loves to watch a reallity shows, he loves drama of famous people, but ofc shu doesnt talk about this with anyone. and definetly watch them when he eats. not too often tho, it has to be a really good show.

shu has a record collection in his room, next to a wall full of vinyls of his favorite music, he doesn't use them much but enjoys collecting them.

and bc of his childhood he is actually really smart but bc he is miserable and lazy he just dont show it nor in his life or in the academy. and also as a little revenge to his father (who punish him by sending shu to alaska lol).

shu actually dont like human food, he find it boring, but do enjoy eating meat, almost raw, but not too much, bc after that his stomach hurt a little. he does like coffe or hot chocolate sometimes and better when it has milk.

and my favorite little thing about shu, i think shu dont play in consoles, not play station, not xbox, not nintendo, nothing like that. so he only play games in his phone, but not anygame. shu either playes puzzles games or play subway surfers, or both, who knows. and he loves the music of that game, it always stick into his mind when he hears it.

NSFW

so, shus dick... is great, maybe too dirty of me to say but u truly belive that shu has a pretty dick, like maybe more thick than normal, with two prominent veins and heavy balls. and its a little biger than average, probably like 19 cm. i had to say it.

also, i belive shu is a switch, ofc loves to be dominant but also enjoys being dominated, with a limit.

shu loves to tease people in any chance he gets, like, when someone (specially a girl) find out that he likes to hear woman moans as music, he tease them to make them nervous like "what? would you prefer me to just hear you? want me to make you moan? hehe". or when a girl is wearing something too revealing too close to him, like he sees someone underwear or a little peak of her chest shu be such an ass "wanting to show me something? how lewd of a woman you are huh" all of that with his sly smirk.

he flirts in a very... one of a kind, like he teases but also like to make physical contact, at firts he just do it in a way to make the other person nervous but with the time he craves the physical contact, he loves feeling his skin touch another skin, what makes him sleep naked.

shu is more perverted than laito canonically, but i think that shu is more romantic about it, like put passion in it, you can feel the conection with him when having sex. specially bc he loves making eye contact and touch everything he can. he craves to melt into your skin and its really intense. he holds you with possessiveness, hard and intense. almost needy, but shu isnt like quick and fast or desesperate. he is more the kind of sloow and deep, nice and steady. kind of guy.

and bc of his intense desire, he loves foreplay, and best of it, he knows how to do it right, i just know he can read people to know what someone like to make them weak. he also loves kissing, tongue. theeth and lips, he have to kiss at every moment, and if you moan into his mouth he just gets worked up. he would definetly make you grind on his leg while kissing. clearly he does the leg thing, he know things.

shu is a big fan of 69, like he loves to get sofocated while you suck him, and he does it right, loves to play with your clit like crazy, but he isnt rough, but if you ask for him to be more rough he get into it, until youre fucking trembling. and he expect you to cum in his face, afterwards he is happy just to be there.

and his favorite position in bed is either cowgirl or spoonign, firts bc he like when you take control, and seconds, he gets to hold you and be close to you and not making too much effort.

in the case of cowgirl, he loves pushing up to go deeper, and all of that while watching you face, damn he loves it. also likes to hold you waist, and watch you support your body with your hands on his legs, that way he can see better your boobs as you move. when he is close he bites his bottom lip so hard just bc he wants to see you how you cum as well, literally make you look into his eyes while doing it. and if he can, shu will sit up just to kiss you and and look into your eyes up close. he loves to intimidate you with his gaze.

"cmon... keep looking at me... dont take your pretty eyes off mine..."

and if you refuse to lok at him, shu would hold you face to make your eyes meet his.

and in the case of spooning, he grabs you close, like if shu wants to get into your skin, would hold onto your tits or your belly with one hand while he other is in your neck, making you look back at him while he trust into you deep and nice. would kiss your shoulder, your neck, your back, any little part of your skin that is close to him, he would kiss it gently, and if shu speed up a little, you would hear his hot breaths in your ear, occacionally biting it.

"fuck... you're mine, you know that?... only mine.. say it..."

"you're my woman... hear it?... say it... i want to hear you..."

the aftercare is another story to tell, basically he would be either too lazy to get up or just by luck he has something to clean up in his drawyer. he is the kind of men, that would prefer to stay dirty for a while just to hold you a little longer, definetly tease you for another round or just kiss you softly as he carees you hair or skin.

this man craves you with passion, and its touch starved.

── more of my content here!

[cobblestone-butch]

jus saw ur post ab sculptor etho muse joel, ik u got forcibly ejected from the writers room but if i make another writers room will u write it /hj

hey tysm! I ended up writing a little something so it will be below <3 this is mostly just Cleo helping Etho realise what might be going on with his struggles to sculpt. I hope people like and mostly that anyone who knows anything about art would write for it too (I know nothing!)

"So, first things first! Why do you want to learn to pose armour stands, Etho? Have you got a specific project in mind?"

There's an awkward pause.

"I only ask so I can get a good idea of what to focus on. It's just good if we start our work with something you're already interested in, right?"

She's never seen Etho look so... Nervous. Learning can be a vulnerable thing, sure, but Etho has never been shy with questions and comments and the unknown the way some people are. It feels wrong to turn to insults, light as they may be, to ease the attention - they're at a complete loss on what to do other than let him work through whatever he's feeling.

"Nothing, there's nothing... Specific I had in mind. It's... I tried sculpting."

"Okay that's good. That's great! What did you like about sculpting?"

"I didn't like sculpting."

Cleo laughs, a mix of confusion and genuine amusement, "Alright! So why do you want to learn 'armorstandography' then?"

Etho is still looking down, picking what she now suspects to be dried clay or quartz from his clothes. His shoulders drop a little from their previously hunched state though, which is a good sign.

"I just figured that maybe it would be easier. N-not that what you do is easy, I mean, you're clearly very skilled, and that's why I've asked you-"

"Etho, slow down, it's okay. I am perfectly assured in what I do and how much effort it takes. But still, I appreciate it."

"I thought maybe something with color would be more, familiar? I like vibrant colors and how they go together, and sculpting out of quartz is so... Lifeless."

Cleo shakes her head, "I won't teach you, Etho."

Etho snaps his head upwards, looking for some sign that it's some dry British humor he's missed. Cleo's face is even more stony than his recent attempts at sculpting.

"I won't teach you", they repeat, "Not for that reason. Color won't inject life into what you make, Etho. I won't teach you something that isn't true."

"Uh huh..."

"And besides, I don't think I believe you. I bet your sculptures have plenty of life in them." Cleo sees a frown pull on Etho's features, "Go on, prove me wrong."

---

Etho puts his hand on the door leading to his storage area. It's a big enough space for art projects, and it's nice to hear items sort themselves as he works, frustrated as he's been with the outcome of his endeavours recently. Cleo reads his hesitance immediately, and knows that Etho won't find comfort in their reassuring words. Here, at the doorway, she pushes past him.

She's drawn to her own face first. Sat on a block is her own head, looking back at her. She sees her own soft features, big eyes and strong nose. A dozen other faces around the room, and she can just about identify them as their friends. There's one off to the side, hidden enough to not drawn attention but not hidden too much, as if he's given himself plausible deniability for doing it. Etho's problem is not that his sculptures look lifeless. Etho's problem is denial.

It takes Cleo seconds to spot and minutes to confirm - there's only one sculpture amongst the collection that properly resembles the person it's modelled after. Every other head or bust has been affected by it, flawed in different ways but for the exact same reason. They all look a bit too much like Joel. It's in the furrow of her brow, the fierceness of Scar's smile, the curl of Doc's hair. Their eyes are all bright, smiles meeting them in genuine warmth, and Cleo can see even with just quartz how skilled Etho is at what he does.

Cleo isn't sure how aware Etho is that he's making them all in Joel's image, so they opt for asking something less direct, "What do you think the problem is? With these sculptures?"

"They're all... Wrong. I just can't get anyone right, and I'm not exactly going for artistic liberty."

Cleo laughs kindly, "That's not exactly true, is it? I can see one that's particularly uncanny."

"Uncanny valley?" Etho makes the joke before she can, but it's not what she was pitching for.

She walks over to and stands behind the sculpture of Joel. "I like this one. I've definitely seen this face before I've died a few times."

Etho laughs, and it stops the ever-shifting of his feet and the picking at his hands. He runs a hand through his hair, letting it rest at his neck as he rubs at it in slight shame. "He's, ah, a vicious one, Joel. He does this little huff thing, and it sounds like a tiger- he's always in some kind of mood and it's always so big, he can't do anything calmly or slowly, you've seen how quickly he builds, and, I just thought what's the most 'Joel' face I can think of? I remembered how he looked building that TNT cannon..."

Cleo lets him talk. It's nice, after all the awkward, to see him talk to openly about all the thoughts that went into the Joel sculpture. She can almost see what he means when he says the other attempts are lifeless; the animation in his voice when he talks about Joel makes everything else pale in comparison. She doesn't think he realises.

"Do you know what a muse is?" They ask after Etho has run himself out of steam, or perhaps noticed a conspicuous lack of interjection from Cleo, a usually very active listener.

"You mean like an inspiration?"

"Yeah! Well, sort of. In Greek mythology, the Muses were goddesses, and their domains included art of all kinds. And we've sort of derived meaning from that, so plenty of artists say they have muses that inspire them. And it helps them make art even if it's not always about them."

"Uh huh. So you think that I need to find my muse?"

"I think you already have, Etho." She looks down at the head between them, and Etho follows her gaze. Joel's eyes look back at him, intense and alive and challenging. He averts his gaze, something complicated settling over him - what they shared was so long ago, in a time and place so far from here. To feel the pull of that, it feels cosmic and mythical in a way Etho naturally rejects.

It's like Cleo can see through him, always. "It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be as simple as knowing someone well enough to capture a second of their likeness. That's what a lot of my armour stands do, they're just snapshots in time. Maybe you should just talk to Joel."

"Oh, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"He'll be insufferable about it."

Cleo actually snorts at that. "Fine then, don't talk to him. Just make more excuses to send him mail and wait for an extrovert to bring you to his base to talk, or whatever it is that you guys do."

"You're not far off, Cleo."

"Oh, I know. I have to hear all about it."

"What?! The next time I see Scar..."

---

Joel stares back into his own eyes. The head was left at the gate to his base, like something the mafia might do as a threat. There was a single sign next to it: Feel free to alter or remove - Etho. It's incredible, seeing his likeness through someone else's eyes. He didn't know his hair was so fluffy, his smile so sharp. He picks up the head with a grunt (Bloomin' heck, is this thing solid quartz?!) and moves it somewhere it can be seen, before pulling a book from the chest under his mailbox and penning his sculptor a message.

[unmotivatedwrit3r]

One in Eleven Million (ch. 6)

damian wayne x reader x jon kent

(A/N): So I think this ends up being ten chapters? I'll try to post more frequently; I've tortured you all long enough haha. Though I'm hoping to get a couple different things out in the next couple of weeks, so you'll get more from me, just not always of this.

As always, masterlist linked here.

warnings: air travel, turbulence

wc: ~1300

~~

Damian turned from where he was watching you continue your project to face Jon. He pulled off his zip up sweater, tugging down the sleeve of his long sleeved shirt to hide the bandages Jon did at the hotel earlier in the morning, before passing it over to Jon. 

“Here.” Damian nudged him. “For the sunglasses.” 

Though he could feel your eyes on the back of his neck, Damian ignored you for now, taking his sunglasses back from Jon’s outstretched hand. In the corner, Jon curled into a ball, head tilted against the wall and face buried in Damian’s sweatshirt. Damian watched him for a moment, chest tight. No matter how many times he’d been through this with Jon, it didn’t get easier seeing him in pain. Jon flicked him a thumbs up and Damian relaxed, turning back to you. Overhead, the safety announcement came to a close. 

“He’s okay?” You asked, eyes fixed on Jon. Your arms, already wrapped around yourself, tightened. Damian nodded, eyes straying back to his left for just a moment before returning to you. 

“He will be, once we get up in the air and away from the chaos of the airport.” He tipped his chin at the project left abandoned in your lap. “How long have you been doing that?” 

“Oh a couple of years maybe? I’m not sure exactly. Do you,” you hesitated. “Do you do some kind of art? And you read Arabic, right? I saw the book you were reading last night.” Damian’s eyes scanned your face. You looked nervous, though genuine, and he found himself not minding the questions. It felt more like curiosity than idle small talk. He hated small talk.

“I do. And speak it.” Your eyes lit up. 

“Cool,” you breathed, smiling. “I’m not great at languages but I would like to be fluent in a few one day. And art?” 

“I draw,” Damian revealed. “And paint.” He fought to keep from mirroring your smile.

“That’s awesome. I write a little bit, but only as a hobby.”  

“Really? About what?” He asked genuinely. 

“Whatever I get motivation for I guess? I wish I had a better answer but I just like it.” 

“Doing things for liking them is an answer.” Damian could almost see you mulling the words around in your head. He took the moment to observe your features up close: beautiful eyes and an unexpectedly striking smile. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

“I know.” 

Your startled laugh tore the last of his self restraint down. Damian’s face split into a grin.

The two of you spent the next while talking about everything and anything. You shared your reasons for being on the plane at all, your favorite color, your other hobbies. In turn, he showed you pictures of his art, his cat and dog, and gorgeous shots of Gotham at sunrise. He had a lot of pictures of him and a brown man with shaggy dark hair and bright blue eyes. In the recent pictures, Damian began to overtake him in height. “My oldest brother,” Damian offered when you asked. 

“You’re the youngest?” He nodded. 

“Of several. I am one of the tallest, though.” 

“Oh boy,” you laughed. “I bet your older siblings hate that.” 

“They do.” 

And then there were the pictures of Jon. Jon by himself or with Damian’s pets, Jon captured in Damian’s art, and Damian and Jon together. 

“Where was this?” You asked. In the picture, Damian was standing on a pathway covered in a dusting of snow, bundled up and on crutches. Jon, in a blue zip-up and jeans, was making a snow angel on the ground in much deeper snow beside him. 

“A few winters ago. In Gotham.” 

“I remember that snowfall” You thought back to the remnants of a Mr. Freeze plot. Following Batman’s intervention, all that was left was a snowy cold front. “But mostly I stayed inside and caught up on work during the snow day. And watched too much TV.” Damian huffed a laugh. 

On his other side, small snores emanated from the pile of denim and red fabric. Jon didn’t wake when the flight attendant came around with snacks. Damian accepted Jon’s pretzels for him.

“How long have you two known each other?” You asked, some time in. Damian looked over at Jon. The lights in the cabin were dim, and both boys were bathed in shadow. 

“A decade or so, now,” he said. Then, a little quieter. “He’s my best friend.” 

“You’re a good friend Damian.” Your eyes followed his over to Jon. He looked smaller than you’d ever seen him, all 6ft something curled up in an economy airplane seat. “He’s lucky to have you.“And I know I don’t know you guys that well but I can tell he’s a good person. And that you’re lucky to have him too.” 

Damian didn’t argue. 

“I am.” 

Two hours in, Jon stirred, pushing the hood off his head and blinking slowly. 

“Hey,” he mumbled. Your breath caught unwittingly in your throat. Jon’s voice was rough and his hair was mussed from where it had been smushed underneath his hoodie. You curled your fingers into your palms, resisting the urge to push back a curl that had dropped onto his forehead. Jon rubbed the backs of his hands against his eyes, dislodging his glasses. “Did I fall asleep?” 

“Morning,” you managed. Some part of you was surprised you managed to get out any words at all, much less in a tone that wouldn’t pass for a squeal. 

Damian took his sweatshirt back from Jon’s offering hand. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” he said, attempting to stretch while crammed in a seat with no legroom. You just watched, chest squeezing pleasantly. Damian was watching similarly. What am I doing? You wondered to yourself. He’s not yours, neither of them are. 

“You needed the sleep,” Damian said beside you. Jon snorted out a laugh. 

“Thanks Dames,” he said dryly. 

“Always.” 

You wrenched your attention away from the boys, turning your phone over in between your hands. It was too late, you knew. You were already attached. But this was a plane, a vehicle to get you from place to place. There was no reason they would be any different, just a passing point in your life. Selfishly, you hoped they might be more. 

A tap on your shoulder from Damian brought you back into the conversation. 

“Huh?” Two sets of concerned eyes were watching you carefully. Your eyes met green then blue for only a moment. “What’s up? I zoned out for a moment, sorry. Tired.” 

Damian looked like he wanted to argue with you. You hoped he wouldn’t; you might have only met him the day before, but you had a feeling he’d figure it out anyway. 

“Do you know how far we are?” Jon asked instead. 

“Oh sure I can check that one sec.” You opened the airline map on your phone. “About an hour and a half away.” The little airplane icon on your phone screen placed the plane somewhere above the Chicago area. “See?” 

“Oh that’s cool!” Jon said to Damian, taking the device from you. “Kinda looks like the thing your dad has for my dad.” There was context you were missing, you assumed. Damian huffed a laugh. 

“It’s a similar technology.” 

“What do your dads do?” You asked them. 

“He’s a journalist,” Jon offered. 

“Businessman.” Damian’s lips quirked up. “Family business.” 

That did not clear it up for you whatsoever. You snapped your mouth shut on any follow-up questions at the jump of turbulence. Your shoulders stiffened instinctively for a moment before you relaxed back into your seat. This wasn’t your first batch of turbulence and it probably wouldn’t be your last. Damian didn’t seem shaken. Jon, though, looked terrified, one hand gripping Damian’s wrist and the other tapping furiously against his thigh. 

“Is this normal? On commercial planes?” 

“Sometimes,” Damian assured. “The pilot warned of turbulence earlier.” 

“They usually come over the loudspeaker when it happens, just to reassure people.” 

Your prediction came true with a crackle of the intercom. 

“Just an average bit of turbulence folks. All numbers are still in the green, so no need to worry. As a precaution, the seatbelt signs are going back on so please stay seated if possible.” 

The pilot’s voice seemed to reassure Jon. You, for one, were tired of hearing it.

[chaoparty]

i'd been putting off making this post because i've genuinely been anxious & really nervous about it, but things are getting more real as time goes on and i've just gotta bite the bullet >< so guys, we don't normally do this, but.. we really need to ask for some financial help. near the beginning of the year, pawmie (my fiance & business partner) had been experiencing some pretty bad jaw pain.  fast forward a dentist appointment and they found what was thought to be a cyst in their jaw due to how their wisdom tooth was growing in wrong. after multiple doctor visits, they concluded it was a noncancerous, but aggressive tumor. after a lot of fear and anxiety and more specialist visits, we've finally got a surgery (one of possibly more) to remove it. this will require them losing that side of their jaw, and getting metal in its place. they've never had any sort of surgery before, and needless to say we're both pretty scared, but we've got a lot of emotional support from friends and family who're helping us through it, and they mean the world to us!!! (and that includes everyone who supports us here & other places, it really really means a lot!) however, being this is a rather complicated issue, it's coming with a lot of medical costs.. we only recently got pawmie on some form of insurance and while they're covering the surgery itself (I'M ALMOST POSITIVE) , there's been a plethora of things they won't cover that are really imperative for pawmie's health. the biggest reason i've been on such an adopt posting kick is because we're slowly working up funds to take care of all of this. of course it's not our only means but, to put it gently, we're just really in a very tight spot financially for a lot of reasons, but we're doing our best ><. and that brings me to why i'm making this post... i'm doing everything i can right now to at least get us somewhere but to an extent we just can't manage this all on our own.   i truly sincerely hate asking for help in this way, but at this point and i hate to say it, we're a little desperate. ideally, i want to try to raise $5000 to help cover medical costs, transportation, medicine, and groceries that we'll be needing for their recovery. however this is a lot a lot a looot of money and i by no means expect or am asking for large donations, i also want to offer something back be it art or customs. we also have a kofi where as a member you can see when we upload personal art, adopt previews (that you can claim before they get posted here to toyhouse at a cheaper price!), we have plenty of free content for members to download and use like bases for adopts, coding, etc.   i'm also making a direct donation commissions section on our kofi where i'll be offering art/redesigns/customs/etc for certain amounts of donation, https://ko-fi.com/plushpon/commissions

[marypsue]

16 and 21 for the fic ask meme

[from this meme]

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

There are two possible times I come up with titles: either as soon as the premise lands in my head, or when I am staring down the draft on AO3 and about to post it. There is no in-between.

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Here's my little secret: I don't delete anything anymore. Anything that doesn't work where I'm trying to put it gets copied and pasted into the very end of the document where the story lives, after about half a page of blank space from the last line of 'real' writing. Then I have it, preserved in amber, for if I get another twenty scenes in and realise that I need something and that thing that I cut out twenty scenes ago is exactly the thing I need.

(This happens more often than you might think. I completely cut about 2/3 of the final chapter of the road goes ever on, thinking I'd have to rewrite it from scratch. Nope! Just had to chop up those 2/3 of a chapter that I cut, rearrange it like a maniac with a corkboard and some red thread, and write a handful of interstitial sentences. And now it reads like it was always meant to be that way, and I can't even remember where all the stitches are. Ain't writing neat?)

To answer the spirit of this question and not the letter, though: yeah, all the time. Part of that is because I keep scenes that I cut, and if I really love them, I'll often find a way to work them in somewhere else (or into something else), so it doesn't feel like quite as much of a permanent sacrifice as it might. Part of that is because...well, have a story.

I'm a fresh baby adult. I have just recently graduated high school, and now the full weight of everyone's expectations of what I'll do with my 'potential' and everyone's disappointment that I don't have a clear, safe career path planned out yet are resting directly on my shoulders. I'm in a university art class. I'm very, very nervous, because I don't feel like a 'real' artist, because I don't feel like I belong here with all the good artists, and because I have a nervous perfectionist streak almost as wide as my entire body.

We are doing a unit on sculpture. I have never in my life done any sculpture, except for a couple of (extremely ugly) clay crafts in elementary school. We are assigned to take a rectangular block of styrofoam, and make an animal shape out of it. The kicker - we can't add anything to the block, only cut away.

I manage to make a reasonably decent-looking animal shape in my rough draft. But as soon as I try to translate it to the big block, it's immediately obvious that my design...lacks something. It's blocky. It's bulky. It's ugly. It looks...close to the shape of an actual animal, close to photorealism, but the fundamental rectangular-ness of it is so overwhelmingly strong. I'm carefully whittling away at the edges and the corners and the curves, scared to wreck it by making a big change, but nothing I do is helping at all.

Luckily, I have a very good art professor. Luckily, I have limited patience for fussing around with things that aren't working. (Luckily, I've been listening to MCR's Danger Days on repeat and it, especially the idea of 'Would you destroy something perfect to make something beautiful?', has been setting little fires in my brain.) Luckily, somehow, for whatever reason, I get fed up with nibbling around the edges and seeing no results. I get brave.

And I cut a deep curve into the side of my sculpture, cutting nearly half of the material away in one stroke.

The sculpture comes to life. The change is instant and obvious, and, more importantly, it's good. It's not anything resembling photorealistic anymore - if an actual animal was shaped like that, it would be very, very uncomfortable or possibly very dead - but it looks more like an animal than it ever did when I was going for 'realistic'. It has motion. It has visual interest. It carries the eye through the sculpture. And this massive improvement on the one side makes it suddenly extremely obvious where the rest of the sculpture needs similar cuts and angles to balance it.

I think I ended up getting a B or a C+ on that assignment. The sculpture turned out kind of wonky, with some angles that still didn't sit right. It was not a piece of timeless art. But that wasn't what was important. What was important was that I took a big risk, and got rid of what wasn't working, and it made something good. Something compelling. Something interesting. Something that, for all its flaws, I was much, much prouder of than the dull, safe thing I had been working on.

Sometimes, especially when you're just starting out as a writer, just starting to find your voice and feel confident in your work, every sentence feels precious and it feels dangerous to move or remove them, because what if you'll ruin it, what if you'll never make anything that good again. But if you're writing, it means you care enough about telling a story to try at it. Trying, and continuing to try, is how improvement happens. As Annie Dillard so beautifully put it, these things fill from behind. You will write something as good as that again. Many things, even. And even better things, so long as you keep plugging away at it.

And...you know your story. You know when something doesn't fit or isn't working, way deep down. The worst thing you can do for yourself is leave it where it doesn't belong anyway because you're scared of making a mistake.

[halo-of-light-band]

Recently I've been thinking about bands. Specifically the idea of having multiple different people, each on their respective instruments, contributing to the art of creating music.

I was thinking about this as I was listening to Car Seat Headrest, and also watching some of their live performances from last year's tour. Because it's relevant to the post, a little bit of backstory: Car Seat Headrest was started by Will Toledo in 2010, and for the first 5 years and 11 albums released, the music was almost entirely written and recorded by Will. In 2015 the band was joined by drummer Andrew Katz, guitarist Ethan Ives, and in 2016 Bassist Seth Dalby. The next 3 albums released consisted of material that had already been written by Will prior to 2015, but was recorded by the newly formed band.*

Listening to the more recent era of Car Seat Headrest music, both the albums and live performances, I'm really struck by just how much having a band has contributed to the sound. Their 2020 album Making a Door Less Open was the first entirely composed and recorded as a band, and while I really love Will's early work as a testament to creativity while confined to just writing/recording by yourself with limited equipment, every time I listen to MaDLO I'm blown away by how much each band members' skillset elevates the music. Ethan's shredding guitars on Weightlifters, Deadlines (Hostile), and Martin, Seth's smooth and measured bass on Can't Cool Me Down, Andrew's expertise in both electronic and real drums throughout the album... it all adds up to a really cohesive, really solid sound. I'm sure that if Will was still making music by himself it would sound wonderful, he's a very talented musician and songwriter, but having the full band just adds so much the sound.

I think this is even more apparent in their live performances, having 5 people each focusing on their parts, their instrumental specialties, really adds up to creating a beautiful, polished sound. The album version of Hymn - Remix is decent, but the live version is transcendant, with upbeat, driving drums, Ethan fucking KILLING the guitar solo, touring member Ben Roth's organ bringing a both jazzy and religious vibe to the song, and Will adding an amazing dramatic flair to the song as he falls to his knees, singing "If I give this up, will I be saved?"

The band elevating the art is especially true when they play Will's older songs. Last year's Masquerade Tour opened the set with Crows, a song originally released in 2013 on Nervous Young Man, and I'm sure some of the improved sound can be attributed to 9 extra years of musical experience, but when I listen closely I can hear each members' musical style shining through, and giving the track a whole new vibe. The chorus is given a new energy, but the verses are haunting with Ben's tinkling synths, Seth's steady bass, and Ethan's falsetto harmony. (I love Ethan's backing vocals, but my sister hates them for some reason. Meghan if you're reading this, you're wrong.)

I don't think these observations are anything new - there's a reason that a lot of great artists either were bands, or had permanent members in their backing bands for solo artists. No one person can be amazing at everything, especially in an artform like music when there are so many different skills needed to create a good song, and so having other talented artists to contribute to the creative process can bolster the quality greatly. Hell, even just having other artists to consult on a project is really valuable, even if they aren't directly contributing to the final creation.

As an artist, and as a person with a lot of social anxiety, these observations are very important. I've played in groups before, but never on a project I was creating. I have a very hard time willing myself to reach out to people, to ask for input or help in creating part of my music. I have a desire to collaborate, but this has been a barrier to me, because unless somebody asks me first, I don't seek it out. I really like the idea of collaboration with people I artistically vibe with, and I understand how much value it can add to art, but my social anxiety often holds me back. I think I'm getting better with time. I've actually been making some artist friends that I talk to regularly in the last couple months, I feel more motivated to share my ideas and discuss artistic concepts with them. I'm still writing and recording my music entirely by myself, but I'm at least slowly beginning to let other people into my creative process, and let my guard down a little bit.

Will Toledo recorded his early music on his laptop, in his car, by himself, not as a creative choice, but as a necessity due to his position as a socially isolated teenager. It also created a very interesting and unique and beloved sound. Both of these things can be true at the same time. I can create art that is my own, constrained by my social and physical limitations, beautiful because of those limitations, while also not being tethered by those limitations, recognizing that my art can be so much more when I start to let other people in.

[nyaifyz]

Hello! It's me, silly anon. I just wanted to say that I love your content a lot and I really enjoy everything you do. Art, writing, just answering stuff.. That's amazing and for some reason I feel a lot of emotions when scrolling through your account, you're probably one of three persons which blog gives me a lot of positive feelings, especially well-made AUs. They're really creative and characters design are so good! I know that we both don't know each other, but for some reason I feel like you're wonderful person.

Well, in short, you're one of my favourite murder drones artists and maybe writer If you're planning to keep this up. I hope that you're not going to abandon this community/blog and, of course, hope your real life will stay perfect too. Take breaks if you need by the way, you work really hard, not every blogger can make several posts per day! Thank you for paying attention and sorry for my English, it's not my native language, whoopsie!

Honestly the first time I read this I nearly cried, I've been rereading your message as it truly makes me smile and I'm in a really rough spot in real life, so it means so much to me

(Also, your english is wonderful! better than mine)

Lil ramble:

When I first joined Tumblr I deeply struggled, I even deleted my old posts including some of my murder drones posts back around when ep 2 was released

I ended up recently rejoining as I so badly want to connect myself into a fandom and be recognized, to share aus and ideas without fear of being ignored or hated </3

I am so thankful that I've somewhat overcame my fear and now spamming random posts about murder drones, seeing people reblog and mention what they think of it makes me really happy, and I hope to continue posting. I have so many ideas and doodles, I actually have to control myself from posting too much.

Instagram can't handle me, Amino sucks, Twitter is cursed, I'm glad I made a home on Tumblr, especially the murder drones side <3

I want to befriend people, encourage, and just gain my own group of support as I continue storywriting and art, hoping some would follow me outside of fandom nonsense

I'm still a nervous wreck though, especially since I'm uploading my murder drones aus to Wattpad and AO3

But thank you for supporting me and I hope you stay in my journey 💕

(and Chapter 1 to the pink swap au coming super soon)

[stick-named-figure]

somewhat long winded and ramble-y musing below the cut. tenuously related to ava but mostly personal.

i think another reason that ava/m (ava especially of course) appealed to us so much is that it's very obviously an interaction between art and the artist. And also creation and creator (which is a separate but similar category) which is something that I've craved in works for a very long time but only recently really came to that realization through trying to see why AVA stuck around with me for so long.

I think it's this sort of idea that art says something about a person (Which is not an invitation to try and make statements about me from my art by the way) but the emotions I try to throw out through art.

This post kind of materialized because I was thinking about whether I should tag my self shipping art as AVM ships, since of course my sona is not canonical [citation needed]. I then figured that blocking the tag "sona" would accomplish the same effect, since I have no real intention of drawing said sona outside of self ship art.

And then I started thinking, this sona exists only in relation to another. I am someone who has had sonas in the past that were very much individual from others (as in had no prerequisite others to include for their existence in art) but Eve, as a sona and a self, exists as a necessity for others. My canonical pronouns are not known but Eve's (sona) are meant to match King's.

(Because I'm about to just start saying things, I have to mention that I'm well aware my relation to identities [especially my own] is not the average experience).

Along these lines I've also realized that the rest of my self perception is primarily built out of the way I am experienced by others, and thus my self is then a group project. This is reminiscent of egregores but I can only read so much on occultism before I start seeing conspiratorial lines of thought that trouble me. However, the point remains that I perceive myself as non-human but rather than in a "diminutive" manner (such as common things as animals or small things) it's in more of an abstraction of behavior and perception.

Which is then maybe a long winded way of saying that I have introspected the self out of myself. I was rather obsessed with labeling myself a few years ago (or, pointedly, finding "respectable" terms for myself that were not too out there) and have since long passed into a label-less state. This seems to have come about at the expense of my identity then as well, down to the point where I was nameless for a few months[1][2].

I'm not so sure I find myself distressed by this lack of self, since it seems mostly other's prerogative to label and classify me to whatever is most convenient for them. So it's that way that I think I find myself basing myself on others perception. Because I don't really have the time or energy to find a self in here that I can pin down and make into a solid object. If I try it will slip away eventually anyway.

I think that I change every day. And if I tried to find something to cling to then it would dissolve so quickly I'd be trying to hold water in my hands. And for a very long time I have been ashamed and nervous about how I treat myself and my interests since they never seem to stick around (which is in great part because of my ADHD and autism from what I understand) but understanding it like this seems much more relaxing, that I am what I need to be in each moment and then allow myself to change when the path is the one of least resistance.

---

I might as well start using footnotes. As offline life often requires, I still went by some name. However, even in my most "genuine" states I found a lack of a name appropriate.

It should also be stated that Eve was picked as a rather quick choice because I had jokingly adopted another friend's name and was soon going to be visiting her. I could probably make some literary analysis on that choice because I'm already treating myself as a character.

[bandy-andy]

well this is a bit late,,,

BUT THANK YOU FOR 50 FOLLOWERS!!!

I plan on making doing something for this soon but for now, the sappy shit is under the cut <3

Sorry in advance if any of this is incoherent or silly buut; 

It's a big deal for me, genuinely the dsmp circle I've kinda forced myself into here on Tumblr is so nice. From the funny posts to the fan artists, to the rp blogs, to the fanfic authors and the livebloggers, I always find myself awed and inspired by y'all.

Now, I don't wanna get too personal/parasocial here, but I've always been very anxious about being online and having any kind of presence on here. I've been on Tumblr for a long time (2017 or so), but I didn't start using this damn site until recently. Like March.

That is CRAZY btw, to me it feels like it's been a year already at least, but it's only been a few months.

That all being said, Ya'll HORRIFY ME (/lh).

I'm like... the Tumblr equivalent of a homeschooled kid if I'm honest. I've been around awhile, but I haven't interacted with other blogs until recently- Plus I'm the type of person who gets excited, posts/rambles on, then overthinks it fooorrreeever. There is a reason I haven't been active till recently!

Even so, constantly you fuckers are thriving and creating and being funny as hell no matter how long the wait is for lore or how bad discourse happens to get. It's all of you guys that made me want to be an active community member here, with all the crazy AMAZING shit you do!!

Like really some of you writers are fucking INSANE!! and the artists I follow are so fucking talented. Ya’ll should really be proud of whatever content it is you are creating. Really and truly.

All the kind tags/reblogs on my art or just anything I do GENUINELY means a lot to me. I do not know how to convey how much I truly appreciate the love I get on my work, or how much it inspires me to keep on going even when I get a bit nervous about posting.

AND MY MUTUALS OUGH, How I treasure you all so.

All of Ya'll are so funny and so talented, I truly hope you understand how much you've made my Tumblr experience SO MUCH better and easier to bare.

I'm still fairly new, and terribly horrified at times, but gods do I love blogging and making art and just being here so fucking much.

So really, thank you to the 50 of you fucks who decided you wanted to see my art and watch me fumble about here on this blog.

I'm super excited to continue my current projects, and for all the new ones to come and I'm even more excited to get to know my mutuals better as we go through this dsmp hellscape together.

Thank you all again <3

[roseispending]

No.1

The Beginning / Taking Myself Seriously

Hello! 👋🏻

This is the start of me taking my art career seriously and taking real steps forward to achieve the life I want to live. ✨

I've been inspired by Spotted Journal on youtube to document my artistic progress, all my achievements, my struggles, and most importantly, my goals. Her videos have been a real source of inspiration and motivation to push myself out of my comfort zone and away from procrastination. I'm incredibly grateful for her vulnerability in sharing the beginning of her journey, and inspiring me to share my own. I thoroughly encourage aspiring artists to check her channel out and subscribe!

My goal with this blog is to have a safe space to document my progress, and to also provide accountability for myself in order to break out of my procrastination rut which has been detrimental to my development as an artist.

In 2022 I graduated with a degree in Interior design and have not have a design related career since due to bouts of anxiety and doubts in my career goals. I have a love for design and do wish to pursue it, however not in this exact field. I have always had a love for concept art and visual development within animation and video games, specifically environment design and all things related. I want to use the technical knowledge from my degree to pursue this further, but that means I need to up my drawing and illustration skills immensely.

I do have some practice in drawing due to my educational pathway, however my skill is still low and needs a lot of work in order for me to pursue an artistic career. So I am treating myself as a beginner to make sure that I have the fundamentals down and to also create good habits for myself. This is not only an art journey, but the start of what I want my life to be.

Going back to Spotted Journal, I was inspired by this video to write down my vision for the future, my 5 year goals and goals all the way down to today. This has been helpful to visualise my future and determine what steps I need to take in order to make it a reality. It was really helpful to break down my goals into achievable pieces whilst also being a little fulfilling when I complete any. Using Notion, I have taken the page structure from her video and implemented my own goals into it.

So, for accountability, here they are 🌟

For obvious reasons I won't be sharing my personal goals unless I feel like it - but they'r staying private for now. but it was very helpful to make goals in all aspects of my life in order to do a big upheaval. I feel like I've been a bit of a bystander in life recently and I really want to get out there and do what I love.

My goals are bound to change and develop throughout my journey and I'm looking forward to seeing what changes I make to my lifestyle to fit them in. And the same for this blog, I'm hoping to be more loose when writing as I'm sure this post is quite stiff and quite long 😂

As for now I'm super nervous to post these goals as its a big factor of accountability for me and sharing big dreams like this is honestly very scary and nerve-wracking. But if I want to share my art, I need to start somewhere. So yes I'm afraid. But I'm going to do it anyway.

[geodraws04]

So for a while now ive been thinking about making my own self-insert crossover au and wanted to finally talk about it :000

i've been like. a lil nervous to post my thoughts about this au/story to the public because I know how,, like. Weird? Negative? and like, Critical people are about self-insert stories sometimes (esp thanks to a certain MHA artist and how a certain SD character was written to pretty much be a self insert int the skin of an iconic character - iykyk) but as of recently after talking with a friend and hearing about the lore for Amalee's vtuber character Monarch ive been thinking "yknow what? fuck it-" and write it out here for a few people to see since i dont have a large following haha.

So heres this hypothetical self insert au I have in mind (in the meanwhile, writing this version of me as a posssible way to both vent about my feelings and hopefully as a way to improve myself haha):

The World-Warper - Traveler of the Multiverse

(POSSIBLE CW: Talk about self-doubt, possibly self-harming thoughts and thoughts about "disappearing one day")

Hypothetical Synopsis: 18 year old Geo (aka me), They/Them, has just graduated from high school. Seems like it should be the biggest milestone to have reached, right?

But for some reason... they've been having doubts about themselves in their abilities and about who they are.

In comparison to their friends and peers, they feel like they're unremarkable and don't have any proud accomplishments to be happy about. While they'd hear about the amazing opportunities their friends from their grade or above have gotten, or how successful their friends in lower grades have gotten when they left, their self-esteem and worth plummeted.

No matter how much they tried in the last four years of their school career... they always fell short in one way or another. And in turn... they will and motivation chipped away from their soul. While their friends and peers could sing their hearts out with amazing solos as they were stuck in the chorus, or their artistic peers could share their art to the world and amass large followings while they could barely get a few people to see what art they could, or people getting A's and high B's while Geo could only scrape by and barely pass because they're motivation and drive to work as hard as they used to and barely making it enough to graduate - they always fell flat, and their mental health and worth began to spiral downward.

They asked themselves constantly: "Am I worth something?" "Will I ever make an impact on the world?" "Will I ever been seen?" "Can I get back to how I was before things went to hell?" "Since my efforts won't ever be seen... am I even worthy of being alive?" "If i did disappear one day... would anyone even notice?"

These thoughts swirled around in their head that whole summer... until one fateful day they took a morning walk into the nearby woods to clear their head. As they roamed the warm glowing trees as the sun peeked over the horizon... they found something that would forever change their life...

A Multiverse Crystal.

This Crystal gave them the ability to travel across different realms of their choosing, meeting different creatures and beings from worlds they'd never think were real, some even becoming their close friends... and without knowing, a role they felt like they didn't deserve to bear: A leader of a team they would dub: the Go-Getters.

But they'd also be dubbed as the cause to the end of some worlds... if they aren't careful.

As their team grew... Geo would soon discover who was the creator of the Multiverse Crystal they discovered that fateful day... and how this creator would inevitably become their biggest adversary.

Her name... Monarch.

These two beings... so similar, yet so different. Both knew that.

When discovering that Geo had acquired a Multiverse Crystal from one of the worlds she was watching, she knew they'd becoming a problem... they'd interfere with her goal of keeping the balance in these worlds... and could be the potential fall for others.

They would be the match that would set these worlds aflame. So they must snuff them out... even if it means she would have to play the role as the villain in these worlds. It may not have been her plan... but what other way can she do? If it means these worlds could be protected, then so be it.

And so she did... she created more clones to act as eyes to keep watch of the young traveler... and if one wrong move is made, violence will always be an option to make sure this person doesn't throw the worlds out of balance.

An ability Geo cannot possess.

So what can be done...?

As they travel through the worlds, they must watch their back. While Monarch has "multiple" lives... Geo has one.

Living in a world without supernatural abilities, mythological creatures, ultimate talents, or superhuman abilities... while traveling through worlds with one or more of these traits... they know they have their life on the line.

Will they be able to live a life with their new teammates and friends from beyond their home... or will they suffer a morbid fate due to causing the worlds to fall out of line?

----------------------------------------------

soooooooooooooo,,,,,

what do yall think?? I wrote this all in one go so if it seems like its written odd thats prob why haha,,

im def still figuring out the deeper stuff and the possible world building for this hypothetical story/self-insert.

I will say! I definitely think the "main" casts for my team would be from: Pokemon (anime or masters; idk haha), Total Drama, Danganronpa, and MHA.

again still figuring out the more deeper stuff and the world building. but once i do i might talk more about this again =000

[floppyhatwitch]

This is Part 2 of my 2023 new year's resolution recap. If you want to see part 1, click here.

And we're back! If you've read the first part, you're all caught up with the gist of everything, so I'll spare the extensive intro.

Long post coming up again, art under the cut :)

This is one of my favourites

I saw some tips on how to make a sketchbook more fun that included working with the fact the drawings are within a book and so I decided to make a portal between two characters.

How whimsical!

I reused the cutout bits to decorate the glossy front cover of the sketchbook too, which resulted in me having to glue it back on more times than I'd like to admit.

The return of my son <3

I think the key features to really nail down when drawing bonnie are the upper jaw and the eye socket. Obviously not the be all and end all, but they really add to his signature style. I mention this only because my bootleg bonnie plush is widely different for both those features, which I find funnier than it has any right to be.

This one was a joke about drink driving and getting pulled over, but it was probably the best anatomy lesson I had all year. I somehow managed to portray the likeness of my friend half decently while working with dramatic lighting. I mean, it's no like, groundbreaking work or anything, but it's one that I take great pride in.

I LOVE HATSUNE MIKU AND JERMA!!!!! RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

If I could do this one again (which I inevitably will because look at them) I would definitely make Jerma more like the creature he is and exaggerate his distinct features a little more.

Anyway the reason I put this up is because I accidentally titled it "Jerma and Hatsune Mike" because of autocorrect, which led to the creation of

HATSUNE MIKE!!!!

Miku's older and less famous sister. Although from what I've been told, her slices are the best in Queens, hands down.

Quick Australian politics tangent. We recently had a referendum that proposed adding an advisory group for First Nations peoples into the constitution. It was like the tiniest step forward towards actually repairing the generational trauma and long-term effects of colonialist genocide by simply asking Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people how they could be best assisted.

Despite being one of the easiest choices I've ever seen in my life, the referendum DIDN'T PASS. I was genuinely pissed when I found out so I tore up the bullshit misinformation flyers handed out by the opposition volunteers and made it into this. It's probably the most "teenager with too much angst and no actual action" thing ever, but it was how I felt at the time.

After that whole debacle I went through a phase where I used a lot of imagery of revolutions to try and process the feelings I was experiencing on the matter.

I thought the foreshortening and perspective on this one kinda popped off. The decision to place the viewer at the level of the executed was intentional. It's one of the only angles anyone would have seen a guillotine this close up in practice.

On Day 300 I saw the FNAF movie and wow was it different than what I expected. I drew my son looking on in horror as his character was assassinated in front of his eyes. Looking back, it might have been a little dramatic, but I'm just like that at the end of the day.

BONUS: If you wanna see my full review of the FNAF movie, you can read it here

I really wanted to get some expressive posing and particle effects going so I took inspiration from that "THINK FAST CHUCKLENUTS" meme and tried to imagine what it would look like if it was an overedited comic strip.

I lobe scou tf2 :))))

This was the day before my Media exam and holy hell was I nervous. If I'm remembering correctly, I was actually so anxiety-ridden that I was nauseous, which doesn't happen often. I channeled my borderline religious regard of the exams power into creating a monument to its supreme importance. That's me praying underneath it.

As you can tell, I was hoping so hard that I would do well on it, which makes the next one just even more satisfying.

I DID WELL ON IT!!!!!

I legitimately felt like omni man afterwards, so I did a study of that scene where he crushes red rush's head. It's a bit rough around the edges but that final panel still gets me. I should watch the new season.

Spidergwen Spidergwen Spidergwen Spidergwen Spidergwen

I'll know I'm a good artist the day that I make a couple pages as good as Miles does in atsv. Like that dude is talented as hell WHY CAN'T I DO THAT.

Speaking of the dude. Spider-Man, Spider-Man and his pal Spider-Man. Technically spectacular spider-man, but I kinda messed up the head shape a bit so it's not as obvious. Whoopsieeeee

I will always consider myself superior to fish because if I saw a mysterious hook in my environment I would simply disregard it. I will however, walk blindly into a situation that will inevitably lead to my downfall under the pretense that it will be beneficial for my future. No I don't see the irony in that, it's different I swear.

FUN ANGEL FACT! While it is technically correct to refer to these as "biblically accurate angels", they aren't the only forms of them. These are specifically referred to as Ophanim, and they're like wheels? I don't know, my knowledge kind of falls off after that point, the way they're described reminds me of those eldritch horrors that make people insane from their incomprehensibility.

Anyway I adore theological imagery but steer far away from the actual implications of any of it. To quote one of my favourite tumblr posts of all time, "narratively christianity is pretty cool i think it should have been a jrpg instead of a religion though" - Roisheep

This one came straight out of the brain tubes after I accidentally created an endless loop in my twine project and I got scared shitless that it was gonna brick my computer or something. In reality, it was the equivalent damage of refreshing a page a whole bunch of times, but I'm always jumpy when it comes to techy stuff.

One little detail I really like about this one is that the green light from the screen is actually reflected on the face and eyeballs! How fun!

This is how I'm gonna die, if it has to happen. To dissipate into a swarm of butterflies and have your cloak float down to the ground is to have lived a fulfilling life. They gotta have some pink ones though, I like those ones.

I saw a tiktokker who shades with a whole bunch of dots like some crazy kind of pointillism (if you know who I'm talking about PLEASE tell me, I can't find them) so I wanted to give it a crack.

It's nowhere near the same thing that they do, but I think it really sells the macabre and grotty nature of the cow skull and doesn't look half bad in the process. One day I'll do the cool stuff though.

WIZARD! TESTICULAR! TORSION!!!!!!!!!!

Still gotta learn how to render cloth folds.

This was me dramatically kicking the door down when I realised I had a new idea for a video game to make. This is definitely a more accurate depiction of how inspiration feels for me than anything else.

Madvillainy!

I knew from the moment I started studying metallic objects under light that I had to take a crack at the illest villain. Even just from recreating the album cover, I feel so much more knowledgeable in shading metal. You gotta get those hard transitions between highlights and shadows to sell the shine.

Almost there! This was a tribute to all the PHENOMENAL art I find on here. Like HOLY HELL everybody is so talented. Sometimes it can be demotivating, but then I remember that I could be phenomenal if I keep up with the practice. And that is the BEST feeling.

Seriously though, if you're an artist on tumblr and you're reading this, without exception you are unbelievably amazing at what you do. I haven't seen a single piece that didn't absolutely rock.

And that brings us to the last one!

I did a little caricature of all the different forms of art and expression I did throughout the year.

Clockwise from the green we have witch, punk, cyber, trans, goth, everyday, Rodney (character in my short film) and media versions of who I am. Isn't that cute?

Decided to go back and do a rundown of all my pieces and make a little recap within a recap.

But that's the lot! 2023 was a super fun year and I attribute a majority of that to this project. If you're reading this and you have something you want to do, this is your sign to just do it! Forget about new years resolutions, start today. Right now. Doesn't matter what it is, if you start now and do it every day, you'll get it done. 5 minutes, an hour, 30 seconds, whatever. This is the best choice I've ever made and that's why I'm doing it again!

A lot of the stuff I make is private or classified, but I'm gonna post all the publicly presentable stuff here, cause why not!

Anyway, that's all. Take care, stay hydrated, eat your greens, love you xx

[broadphilly]

Brian...

Over the years, I built certain principles of dating that's helped me avoid my mistakes of the past. For instance, don't swipe right on a profile where his photos are just himself (no friends?). Also, avoid the ones with a bio that's only their instagram handle... please tell every college student this. Of course, as we age we keep self-selecting down to a more narrow group of individuals. This isn't new, but what becomes new over time is the *type* of guy you add to the list. A new genre of gay men that's recently come about since the pandemic was exactly that: the guy that is stuck in summer 2020 of urban outfitters tops and jeans, posting pictures enlarging the length of their legs, and having that one filter that aims to be retro but actually comes across as disturbingly fried. I unknowingly met this type and thus became the catalyst for the creation of this blog. Meet Brian.

I met Brian over tinder a week ago when I first downloaded the app to try and meet new people, though my intentions and motivations are to be discussed another time... Brian was a 21-year-old college student who was more direct than others in going on a date to get to know someone rather then gradually do the cat-and-mouse chase of tinder to following each other on instragram to FaceTime to finally a date if you're lucky. Brian seemed nice, he was one of the more rare individuals you meet on tinder that actually asks you questions about yourself on top of the conversation you're having. We met at Rittenhouse Square Park over wine I brought.

Brian showed up in a white crochet short sleeve short, long brown corduroy pants with black platform converse. He also brought a tote bag that also wanted to come across as diy but the aesthetically-saturated pattern immediately screamed Urban Outfitters to me. Looking nothing into it at the moment, I tried the basic tactics of first dates: how was your day, so where is your family from, do you like your neighborhood? I knew it was going to be a bad date when every answer he gave was "yeaaa..." or "no..." and his eyes would divert to a tree behind me but his eyes clearly not focusing in on anything. So you said you're from Haddonfield... I work around there. Do you like the shops on Haddon Ave? I ask. I hate New Jersey, he says. That sucks, why do you say that? It's boring. Another conversation looked like this: I ask, are you a film buff if you go to an art school? I don't know. I don't know any movies really. I couldn't help but sit with ten seconds of silence, just for him to realize how utterly monotone he was. I thought to myself: is this going to be the first date you actually walk away from mid-date?

We already made plans to go to a bar after the wine finished, which I quickly drowned down in hopes of not finding the shortness anymore annoying as it was to sober me. I offer we go, thinking the night will result in an awkward hug after a couple vodka sodas. I already pulled out cash before heading into Dirty Franks, since my debit card snapped in half and I've yet to order a new one. It's been broken for 5 weeks, but the chip still works. Brian didn't bring any cash... but I was quick to cover our two vodka crans at $12 plus tip. The conversations only picked up here, where I suspected he was more drunk and maybe less nervous. For some reason, I thought that was cute. We both ended up having the same favorite albums: Folklore by Taylor Swift and Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana Del Rey. Adding Lorde and Clairo to my list, he seemed to be drawn in. I looked into his face more tentatively in the loud bar, his jawline looking sharper. The 1970s pornstache he was going for looked more developed and attractive. I knew then I was going to take him home. We finished our second drinks and he ordered the Uber home, for which I was going to hit myself if I really had to pay for the Uber, too.

At my apartment, Brian somehow found a glass in a cabinet and helped himself to water. I found that rather invasive, but I chalked it up to the inhibition following our Moscow mules. We chatted over tv shows back at the bar, agreeing to finally introduce Sex and the City to him via my laptop in bed. I always offer my guests shorts or sweatpants before getting in bed, offering looser clothes I won't be mad at getting ripped. Brian took a pair of black lululemon shorts, slipping into my covers next to me as I turned on the pilot episode. Quickly the episode ended, and he was quick to turning onto me, wrapping his leg around me to get on top. It was rather intense sex, with his pornstache being rough against my chin and lips. We flipped and turned over each other about three times before he went down on me, being surprisingly slow and wet with it. I did the same in return, putting both my hands around it and just being glad it wasn't as square as the guy before him. The sex became freaky to me, for a first date and all. With him sitting on top, his hands were warm around me before fitting it in. Never really having bottomed (or at least liking it for longer than 2 seconds), I'm also sure to be as gentle and deep as I can inside someone. It didn't take us long, and I tossed a towel to wipe everything off his stomach. Then the sleep came quickly and quietly, we didn't say goodnight.

The next morning, Brian had woken up earlier than me and I heard him get up at least three times for the bathroom before I actually checked my phone. 8:34 AM, I had work at 11. He suggested getting breakfast, and since he lived near where I work, I offered to drive us to a cafe in Haddonfield. On the way there, I tried my best to be cool again by curating music to play on the 30 minute car ride on a rainy, humid day. Andromeda by Weyes Blood, Spring by Angel Olsen, Sometimes by Faye Webster. There was a terrible accident over the Ben Franklin, causing all traffic to merge right, where we needed to take the left exit. I'm hungover. My head and my stomach, not good, he says. I'm sorry, I think some coffee and a sandwich will help, I say. We didn't really talk in the car, which bothered me. Even the questions like did you sleep okay only resulted in a yea... As we approached Haddonfield on Haddon Ave, he said in his very monotone voice: I'm going to throw up.

5 minutes away from the cafe, I thought he was just being dramatic since his face didn't read as urgent as his statement. Are you okay, do you want me to pull over? I chuckle. Yes, like now. I pull into the parking lot of a bank and as I'm putting the car into park he reaches for the handle before I could park and vomits on the side of my car and into the road, the car not even parked into a parking spot. I didn't see it, but it sounded aggravating, and splattered heavy. He stops after I ask if he's okay and needs anything (I had nothing but my laptop and tote bag), and I softly say, let's get you home, we'll worry about the coffee shop another time. As he closes the door, we drive to his address. Not 1 minute into the drive he says I'm not done and I park just on the other side of the parking lot before he expels everything left in him. I need to be motionless for just one minute, he says. I offer to get him water and he says okay in a way that says "Thanks, but no." At this point I wonder where to go from here, if he's even going to make it from to his house or if we're going to have to sit for a half hour while he sleeps it off. He gives a thumbs up to me as he picks his head up from the side off the car, and we drive away from what felt like a crime scene. The cafe will probably always be there, I say in an attempt to lighten the mood. He apologizes, and tries to make it up by asking me if I'm free Saturday. In my head, I could only think: please do not try and make up for this. Let's just be honest and take this as a lesson for the future.

Yours: know your limit if you're going to be driving back after a night of drinking. Mine: don't prolong a date with a guy who's taste you're not exactly of a fan of. It's not that I think the aesthetic is shitty or people who shop at Urban Outfitters are close-sighted, tacky assholes, but I think the fast fashion loving, calculated yet depthless aesthetic Brian put together reflected exactly the type of person who would present themselves as such. I actually work both mornings this weekend, 9-11 AM, I say. It was true, but I suggest maybe next weekend to be nice. As I pull up to his destination, he makes it worse to me by adding sternness to taking the offer: Okay, we'll see each other next Saturday. I would kiss you, but I don't want to be gross. It's okay, I- I would also give you a kiss if I could, I shyly say. He closes the door, and I proceed to the coffee shop we were supposed to go to.

[dreadnotau]

Big (but sort of not big) announcement time! (At the bottom is a TL;DR if you don’t have time to read paragraphs of my ramblings.)

First thing’s first, I got into college!!! A lot of you probably don’t know, but it’s been a massive uphill battle to practice for the exams to enter the art college I wanted. It’s why I haven’t been posting basically anywhere but here since the year started. It was a lot of work and stress, but it paid off! I’m gonna be studying subjects and doing art things that I’m ACTUALLY interested in! No more are the days of dreading the next German test or pulling my hair out because of some bullshit math equations, from now on it’s just blood, sweat and tears poured into canvases, baby!

Joking aside, this is genuinely monumental for me. Though it DOES mean I’m gonna be pulled thin on my time and creative juices the moment the first semester starts, I’m still excited to keep working on Dread Not alongside the schoolwork I’ll inevitably have to do, too. This comic is, as I’ve said many times, my biggest passion project yet, and the fact that I stuck with it for over a year now is another thing I have to be very proud of.

But, in all honesty, this project wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for my best friend, Meow! As some of you may know (or maybe noticed the changed bio), Meowchela is the co-author of Dread Not, and is the one who encouraged me to go through with a full comic telling of the story, (instead of just letting it sit idly in my brain like most of my Deltarune and Undertale AUs do, whoops) so, again, you have her to thank for all of this. She’s not directly involved with the creation of the pages (yet?), but she is the one who helped add many characters, sideplots, and satisfying conclusions to what was, originally, just an AU about Toriel, Asgore, Spade, Gaster, and Kris, as well as helping with designing characters both that appear later on and have appeared already (Rouxls’ fabulous design was made by her!)

The reason I bring this all up in detail now is because she is now OFFICIALLY credited as a co-author. I used to just mention her in posts and tags, as well as give her a special role in the discord server, but now she’s credited alongside me in the bios of both the Twitter and the Tumblr accounts! The reasons why she didn’t want to be credited until recently are her own, but I hope you all give her as warm a welcome as you gave me as a fellow author of Dread Not! She knows this story better than anyone (better than even me sometimes, whoops x2) and I hope we can all see it through to the end!

Don't take my word for it all, though, here's a statement from Meow:

Hello everyone! I'm Meow, who you now know as the co-author for Dread Not! I've been around for this project since the concept stages, and seeing all of your love and support for it means so much more than I can reliably say. You may now be wondering why I've been so silent despite being around for so long, and the answer to that is very personal. All I'll say is that it took a while to build up the courage to allow Kooki to even mention me by name (and trust me, he's wanted to since we made the blog!) and so having a proper credit like this is monumental. I'm happy to finally be more front and center for the project, even if still a litle nervous! =w=;;

Thank you for reading from the bottom of my heart. Seeing everyone being so kind about the comic is half the reason I came out of my shell in the first place. While it's true that without me the comic wouldn't exist, in turn my efforts would never have been realized had it not been for all of you! So thank you again, and I hope you're as excited for what's to come as I am!

And, lastly, and kind of least importantly (to me), I’ll be postponing this week’s page. Both so I can relax for 2 seconds after my exams, and so I can have more ready for the week after this one. I’m gonna be going on vacation soon, too, so I’ll try to have a page ready for posting while I’m away from home. And, if it’s not ready, it’ll just be postponed for a week, too. You guys have dealt with longer hiatuses, it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?

TL;DR: Kooki is in college now and October is gonna kick his ass. Meowchela is now officially credited as a co-author of Dread Not. This week’s page will be postponed so I can actually go touch grass for once.

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your continued support of this comic! Act 1 is in it’s last third, and progress on Act 2 is looking promising. Stay tuned!