#I've been looking forward to this day for months

[paperstorm]

Kicking things off with a little scene from 4x18 that I've had saved in my drafts for months, in the spirit of some of us rewatching the season 4 finale on Monday :)

-

“Don’t,” he mutters harshly, the second he sees movement out of the corner of his eye.

“Carlos,” TK practically whimpers.

Carlos looks at him. Tk’s eyes are bright and sparkling with tears. He presses his lips together and squeezes his eyes shut, dropping his chin as tears drip down off his own face and fall to the floor.

TK whispers, “Baby.”

Carlos shakes his head. TK’s been calling him that for so long. Carlos has loved it every time and strived to be worthy of it, and right now it’s like nails on a chalkboard. He'll never hear Carlitos or mijo in his father's deep timbre again.

Suddenly TK is in front of him, hands touching his biceps and then arms being tossed around his neck, pulling him into a hug. The dam completely shatters; Carlos’s shoulders shake as his body is wracked with violet sobs. He grasps helplessly at the back of TK’s shirt, clutching him, keeping TK close because without him to lean on Carlos thinks he would be in a heap on the concrete floor along with his tears.

“I know,” TK murmurs, stroking his hair, his cheek, the back of his neck.

“I don’t know what to do,” Carlos forces out as another flood of tears soaks TK’s shirt.

“Nothing. You don’t need to do anything, baby, you just …” TK cups his cheek, gently nudges Carlos’s head up so their blurry eyes can meet.

TK’s are red rimmed and his cheeks are blotchy, and Carlos is sure his own face is covered in mucus and wetness and shame. He aches down to the marrow of his bones with the fact that he can’t ever remember his father being sweet and silly with him. Carlos would give everything – every penny in his bank account, anything else the universe wanted to steal from him – to replace his memories of years of quiet disapproval and unspoken disappointment with the version of his father who spoke in a terrible Australian accent to make Carlos laugh. He wants to buy a fireproof safe to keep that VHS tape in so that he can watch it every day for the rest of his life, and he wants to drop it onto the sidewalk outside and smash it to bits with a hammer so he never has to watch it again.

He wonders when it stopped, when Gabriel turned stoic and serious and withholding. He wonders if it was all in his head, if he can’t even trust his own memories because they’ve been warped and twisted by too many years of his own insecurity – everyone is so insistent that his father loved him, so maybe Carlos is the problem, if he can’t seem to remember a time when that felt true. Maybe he wasted the only years he’d ever get on pride and stubborn arrogance, and now his papá is gone.

“Do you remember the night my mom died?” TK asks.

Carlos nods miserably. Neither of them will be at their wedding. The thought scrapes away at his insides.

“We sat right there, right on that couch, and you held me while I sobbed. That’s what we should do.”

“It won’t make anything better.”

“No. It won’t.” TK kisses the damp side of his face. “But neither will anything else, right now. So just let me be with you while it sucks. We’re soulmates, remember?”

The word unzips Carlos even further and he feels his face crumpling, tipping forward so his forehead bumps painfully into his fiancés.

“Say it,” TK urges gently.

“You’re my soulmate,” Carlos repeats, the words feeling monotonous and not tasting as sweet as they should.

“You’re the love of my life. I’m so heartbroken that you’re hurting this much. I can’t take it away but I can hold you. Please let me.”

Tagging @theghostofashton @birdclowns @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@carlos-in-glasses @actual-sleeping-beauty @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @heartstringduet

@goodways @alrightbuckaroo @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry

@liminalmemories21 @nancys-braids @lemonlyman-dotcom @whatsintheboxmh

@bonheur-cafe @reasonandfaithinharmony @thebumblecee @never-blooms

@sanjuwrites @orchidscript @jesuisici33 @kiwichaeng @honeybee-taskforce

@fifthrideroftheapocalypse @fitzherbertssmolder @butchreyes @just-inside-her @firstprince-history-huh

@captain-gillian @tellmegoodbye @anactualcaseofthetruth @ironheartwriter @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@ditheringmind @emsprovisions @irispurpurea @nisbanisba @corsage

Want to be added or removed from the list? Lmk

[mathmusicninja]

*Peach the starfish from Finding Nemo voice*:

TODAY'S THE DAAAAAY!! The sun is SHINING!! There's five new chapters! And we're finally getting resolution--

There's five new chapters.

TheRe'S FiVe nEw cHaPtErS?!?!

[50000bears]

Day 14

I planted kale, chives, garlic chives, and 6 varieties of tomatoes.

[mimimar]

♡the love fairy♡

just launched a new tier on my patreon with monthly printable paper doll and stationery rewards! you can learn more about it and join here♡

these are the february 2024 rewards:

join any time this month to receive them!♡

[kyouka-supremacy]

Hi. I've calmed down a bit, and I think it's better if I just take a break from Tumblr for a while. Right now, I don't feel the fandom to be the same chill and safe space as I felt it to be, so I'd rather take some time until I can feel comfortable again with posting. All my side blogs will be on hiatus too. I'm terribly sorry for any discomfort this may cause.

A deep, wholehearted thank you to anyone who reached out in the last hours in replies, asks and dms to share their support and love. Seriously, you can't imagine how much it meant to me, how meaningful every single message I got was to me. Yesterday I was really believing my blog didn't bring anything but negativity and hatred to the community; thank you for reaching out to tell me I was able to share a little happiness, too. Words cannot express how indebted I am to you; you made me feel again like the posting I made on my blog was worth it, for you alone.

I don't think I'll deactivate for the time being. The temptation is still very strong, but I've poured so much time and dedication and love on this blog, I don't think it'd be fair to delete it. I hope in the future there'll still be people who my posts can make happy.

Lastly, I want to apologize once again to the people for whom my posts evoked so many negative sentiments. I know it's impossible to avoid, but I'm still sorry that happened. I apologize to you.

Please, be kind to each other. Make some ss/kk posts on my behalf while I'm away :)

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

"For a self-proclaimed researcher... I thought you'd know by now that Psychic-types are weak against Ghost." "Morty-ehehe! B-But I'm nohohot a type specialist!" "Maybe should've thought of that first before deciding to wake me up so early."

A spiritual successor to this lil doodle of mine 🫣💖💕

[supernovaa-remnant]

I am so incredibly slowly reading through the dreblr big bang fics, but even though I've only read a few so far, I'd like everyone to know that all the fics are so good and everyone should go check them out <3

it was a really fun event to be a part of, and everyone put so much work in, and all the fics and art are absolutely lovely so yeah go check it out <33

[pociondeodio]

exhausted overstimulated got a headache pissed off at my mother got my phone stolen for the second time in three months

[aelyosos]

i've actually been able 2 stick w a skin care routine for the last two weeks & my skin is lookin so good ! the best it ever has, no contest

[sleepless-crows]

.

[natjennie]

that's so annoying :(

[the-physicality]

you know there's a lot of yaps about oh stewie beats dt records by 1 game per. well arike set 3972 [dallas franchise record] in 193 games, stewie in 194, dt in 195. [a'ja in 197, edd in 198]

but as far as ages go, it's lj, dt, arike. [asterisk obviously being lj came in at age 20 and americans came in at 21 or older. in this instance lj started just after her 20th, and dt just before her 22nd. lj is a month and a year older than dt. fun fact maya moore is exactly 7 years younger than dt]

and interestingly enough in the span of a week in 2009, 3 people hit that milestone: becky [8/29], dt [9/1], tamika [9/4]

sheryl swoopes, tina thompson, and katie smith all did it in june of 2006 [2-19]

lisa leslie was the first person in the w to hit this milestone, in 2004, nearly 2 years before anyone else would do it

sue and becky took the same number of games to get there [315]

of the 20 youngest people to hit 3972 [everyone who's hit it under 31 years], the list consists of 14 number 1 draft picks [db and arike went 5, cappie went 2- after Seimone augustus who is also on this list, tamika went 3-but drafted with an sei, and candice dupree and crystal langhorne went 6]

48 players have hit this milestone. of the ones that entered the regular wnba draft [ie were not allocated]

5 did it from 1999, 2004, and 2006 draft classes

4 did it from 2001 class [LJ, penny taylor, tamika catchings, katie douglas]

3 did it from 2002, 2008, 2009, and 2013 classes

2006 draftees 1-4 have all hit it

2013 is the only class to have only 1-3 make it

no one has hit this milestone from the draft classes of 2000, 2005, 2007, or 2017

tangela smith [1998], plenette pierson [2003], tina charles [2010], kayla mcbride [2014], jewell loyd [2015], stewie [2016], a'ja [2018], and arike [2019] are the only players in their draft class to hit the milestone

of the 2019 draft class, only 8 players have hit 1000 points, and the next closest to arike [3972] is napheesa collier with 2724, and she was out for a year on maternity leave

arike has also played nearly 800 minutes more than the next 2019 player, jackie young

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[bakingmoomins]

went to all my classes even though im unmedicated and even talked to my thesis advisor without exploding everyone clap

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[la-galaxie-langblr]

screech