#I've been gone and will continue to be but I'll probably draw some stuff for this!!

[eldritch-spouse]

Journal entries from Shag's Obsession.

(forgive for any grammar errors or ooc. Yes, I'm the same writer for the Sleep Inn short and the demon queens documentary shorts. Enjoy!)

Day 1 ⚫

Today, I was in the forest taking photos for inspiration for my artwork. I thought I was alone until I saw a strange shadowy figure nearby. At first, I thought it was a person, so I wanted to be friendly and say hello until I realized the closer, I got, the taller and gangly-like it becomes. It looked like it was wearing some kind of robe, and a funny hat. It looked like it was covered in tar from head-to-toe. I attempted to get a closer look to see what it was up to, but it looked up in my direction and I quickly stopped moving. I prayed it didn't find me. Who knows what'll happen. I took a peek to see if was still there, but it was gone. I got home soon as possible to draw the creature I saw, but all the adrenaline was making my hands shaking.

*bottom of page is a crude drawing of Shags*

Day 2 ⚫

I decided to hunt and research the creature from the other day. This encounter inspired me to be a cryptid hunter as a side hobby. This time I'll try to remember to take a photo of that thing in the forest. I ⚫ hope I'll encounter it again. ⚫

I returned home with no luck of finding it. I noticed some black splotches of paint around my home. Upon closer look it looks and smells like ink. Probably some dumb teenagers pulling a prank.

Day 3

I saw it today! I made sure to quickly and quietly take some photos of it before it disappears again. It was carrying a bag while walking. I swear I saw it moved a little. Maybe it's some rabbit. I noticed as it walks it leaves drops of black stuff on the ground. I wanted to follow it but for now I'll grab a sample from that icky stuff its dripping.

day 4

I decided to name the cryptid "Ink Man". I couldn't hunt today. Too tired. I had trouble sleeping last night because I heard noises outside of my window. Hard to say, it sounded like breathing and claws tapping. The last thing I saw before I slept was a looming shadow by my window. ⚫

I dreamt of a tall figure shrouded in black as the void. It looked like ⚫the Ink Man. It stood over me while I laid in bed. I couldn't move. Is this my first paralysis demon experience? It was breathing so heavily and reached out it's spindly hands and brushed them over my legs. It felt so creepy it felt like spiders walking all over me. This was the most vivid dream I ever had.

Day 5

This time I went back into the forest for more research of the Ink Man. I saw it sitting on a stump, eating something. Kinda smells good like chicken. I quickly took some more photos before he or (she?) noticed me. I continued to watch the ink man's activities afterward. The Ink man mostly foraged stuff whatever is fascinated with and puts in their bag.

I later learned the Ink man is indeed a man due to his... certain needs.

Day 6

I have no luck finding the Ink Man's home whenever I follow it. It seems to disappear whenever I turn a corner. Every time I try to follow it, he disappears without trace. My theory is that it's a fairy, not a cryptid.

My home is covered in black paint again and I just washed it all off! Damn teenagers again. I noticed there are some paint marks that is starting to look abstract images. Some look like people. And... hearts? I noticed there is alot of paint smudges near my windows.

Day 7 ⚫

It's raining outside. No searching today. I just noticed there's alot of black paint smudges on my journal. Not only that, but I've also been seeing some paint smudges around my home. Did one of my pens broke? And I could have sworn some of my art pieces have been missing, did I move them?

Day 8

I went outside to start my search again. Right outside my front door is a picture on the ground. I picked it up and took a closer look and saw it was a nicely drawn sketch of... Is- is that me sleeping in my bed!? My stomach twists and I feel sick. What sicko drew this!? I turn the page over. On the other side is what looks like to be a signature from the artist. If I read correctly, it said "Shags"? With a heart next to it. Tomorrow I'm reporting this to the police.

It's nighttime. I can't sleep knowing someone is watching me. I made ⚫sure the windows are covered and locked the doors and windows. I've been staring at these photos of the Ink man for more clues. I hear noises outside. It sounds like and animal. Maybe that stalker is back again. I'm grabbing my bat for defense before I go outside.

⚫

(the black dots are supposed to be ink drops from Shags peeking)

Great stuff! Though I think answering this ask might deform the placement of the dots, which is saddening. If it does, I want people reading to know they had different sizes and were more evenly spread, which made it look really creative!

That aside, I love how our crypto zoologist apprentice here has about as many braincells as a horror movie protagonist (which are zero, and a half-eatrn tic tac). This man I saw covered in ink-like black tar from head to toe is so creepy! Man I sure wish the teenagers weren't spreading ink around my house...

I think Shags is reading this diary and seriously worrying for his inkling's cognitive abilities. He's being anything but subtle, and you're writing about him like he's some kind of animal incapable of deciding he wants to visit your own living space. Gods, he flashed you his dick on at least one occasion.

He's ripping that sketch of him on the first page, and will be mildly depressed if he finds you discarded his.

[camels-pen]

can't sleep so have vampire Usopp drabble with sanuso~

Just imagine Usopp showing up after exploring some island on his own, bloodied, limping, leaving streaks of blood all over the place

Sanji left on ship watching duty, is cooking in the kitchen, idly checking with Haki every once in a while to make sure no one unfamiliar shows up

He notices Usopp coming but is right in the middle of something- making food for lunch when everyone returns, but also hashing out food supplies he'll need to buy once it's his turn to leave the ship

So when Usopp shows up, Sanji's distracted, maybe looking at his list, and maybe there's something like this:

"San...ji." There was some odd dragging sound. "Blood."

"Blood?" Sanji looked up from his list and nearly jumped out of his skin. "What the hell happened?!" He jumped the railing to land in front of Usopp, hands uselessly fluttering about his bloodied and broken body. He had to be standing just through pure willpower alone.

"Hun...gry."

Food. Right, yes, Sanji could do food. He could take Usopp up to the infirmary and bring him a plate.

Sanji settled on putting his hands on Usopp's shoulders. His skin was freezing through his shirt. "I've already made heaps for lunch, but I need to patch you up first. Just tell me what you want and I'll bring it to the infirmary."

"Wa...nt."

"Yeah,"-Sanji nodded, starting to get more concerned with the slow responses-"anything you want, Usopp."

"Any... thing?"

"Anything."

With a strength and speed Sanji wasn't expecting, Usopp slammed both of Sanji's wrists against the wall.

"Blood."

Before Sanji could say anything, before he could even take another breath, Usopp surged down to his neck and bit him.

Sanji was about ready to kick him away, regardless of Usopp's current state, and fuming about being caught up in some stupid prank, when he felt the first suck.

"H-Hey Usopp, are you..." serious? Conscious? Under some weird devil fruit power? Sanji didnt know what to ask first.

He never got the chance to figure it out either, as a wave of pure, toe-curling pleasure washed through him. In his surprise, he didn't have time to tone down the full blown moan that slipped his lips.

Usopp continued sucking, though his grip on Sanji's wrists had slackened. His own pleased groans were loud as he drank, the noises right next to Sanji's ear and making it burn with a growing heat.

Whatever this was, Sanji needed to stop it. As a man who needed to defend his love of women, and only women, he couldn't get worked up just by some stupid-

Hun... gry. Usopp had said. Blood.

That- there's no way. Sanji was far past not believing in legends and myths, and his old man was never one to pull his leg on that kind of stuff.

But even Sanji had thought, or maybe hoped, that vampires weren't real.

And for it to be Usopp- Usopp of all people. Sanji knocked his head back against the wall, tears falling freely as his lip wobbled.

"Fuck, fuck!"

The sucking stopped.

Usopp pulled away just enough to look up at Sanji. The way his head was angled, Sanji could see horrific looking bite marks all along his neck, shoulders, under his jaw, down his collar, and disappearing under his shirt.

He had to pause a moment, imagining Usopp having stumbled into a coven's territory. Alone. Probably looking for cool bugs or something else inconsequential, unknowing that he would die within moments.

Sanji hoped it was quick, at least. He hoped this coven wasn't like the one in his books; the ones who would draw it out for as long as possible. Usopp had been gone only a few hours and he must've hobbled to the ship on his own, which could've taken a while, and-

And Usopp was still staring at him, silent, eyes blank, and lips stained red with blood. Sanji's blood.

It hadn't been long since breakfast, but being killed and having all of the blood sucked out of him would probably work up a big appetite.

And, well, Sanji would never let a crewmate go hungry.

So, he put one hand to the back of Usopp's hair- his hair, not his hat, free of it's usual ponytail and covered in leaves and dirt and blood- and guided him back to his neck. Usopp made a questioning noise.

Sanji closed his eyes, let a shaky smile show on his face. He brought his other hand up to press Usopp closer.

"I did say anything, didn't I?"

Usopp didn't respond. After a moment, Sanji felt him lick at the bite marks he left behind- pinpricks compared to the wounds littering his own dark skin- and then, carefully, fit his mouth into those same marks. Once again, he began to drink, this time at a much slower pace.

Regardless of the speed or the gentleness, Sanji still had to fight not to give away how much he was truly enjoying this.

(and then the crew shows up lmao)

[goose-duck]

Creepypasta x reader

Obscene Normality (ch.1)

~~~~~~

Obtusely normal reader bc I'm tired of reader being either some cute little critter or some badass killer or smth idk free me, this story is trying to be realistic but also not, yknow? Maybe you don't, but I do.

What's it about? Well, it's just you interacting with the creepypastas but it's realistic, kinda, I'm trying my best. That's the gist of it.

Characters: Hoodie, masky, toby, you

Probably shorter than you expect, I tend you give up half way with stories, so, maybe this'll have a few parts to it or smth

~~~~~~

I was chilling at my job. It's a 9-5 job, very fun. Actually, it doesn't completely suck, I'm almost my own boss so that's fun. I'm daytime security at a museum in a small town. We get two guests a day if we're lucky, it's nothing special. The place functions more as a pit stop for directions but some people actually care about the artifacts and information. Not me though, I honestly can't be bothered. It's not that I don't like learning about this stuff, it's just, I work here, so, I don't wanna, yknow? Gotta be as defiant as defiant ad possible I guess.. maybe I should talk to a therapist about that...eh...I don't have the money...hence why I work six days a week. Yeah. Six. Anyway, not the point. I'm the only person here. You'd think there'd be someone who specializes in historical stuff, or at least my boss, but no. It's just me. So, as you'd imagine I get the creeps sometimes, but ultimately it's nit that bad, I have internet and no one to tell me what I can and can't do so I just chill all day and get paid for it. I don't get a lunch break though, which i think is illegal, but I don't care enough to deal with it.

Today is another normal day, as previously mentioned, nothing ever happens here. So I'm just sitting at a desk in the library part of the building, it's just got death records in it, nothing special, I organized them when I first got here three years ago. Crazy...it's been three years, you'd think I'd have gone crazy with such a lovey job by now, but I've still got most of my marbles. Or maybe those are dice? Where are my dice..? Probably somewhere in my room...I should clean up after work...that sounds like something smart for me to do.

A few odd guys walk in the front door. Not my place to judge...but.. they look off. Maybe they're cosplayers? But what are they doing at a museum...whatever...like I said, not my place to judge. However...no one will reprimand me for drawing these strange guys.. so that's what I'll do. I begin drawing the first one I saw...he has a mask or mussel on his face...seems like he's got a gash on his cheek hidden under it. I run my tongue along the scar on my inner cheek...I used to chew on my cheek..is that what would have happened if I never stopped? I guess that makes sense...but why the face covering? And the goggles? Eh...my dad wears sunglasses inside, this isn't nearly as bad, at least these have some style to them and match the rest of this guy's outfit. There's this other guy, ugly yellow hoodie...sorry yellow lovers...but he doesn't make it work. He's got a robbers mask with a red frowny face on it...uh...let's hope he doesn't rob the place, I don't wanna have to do my job. Now for the third guy...mask guy...sideburns guy...less in shape markiplier? I don't know...I wonder if he's good looking under the mask...I like his physic...I shouldn't be fantasizing about random men I see while at work. Sorry. Who am I apologizing to? This is definitely becoming a problem...I'm apologizing to myself for being weird now.

The masked man walks over to me, he just kinda looks at me, nods, then continues on his way. I think he was trying to reassure me they aren't here to steal.. given their outfits that's appreciated...I guess maybe they really are just cosplayers...maybe I should ask who the characters are? Do I care enough for that? Yeah...but I'll let them walk around a but first...I'll ask when they're on the way out.

After a little while I get bored of just sitting around so I start wondering around the building...maybe I'll run into the guys again. Oh wow...that was quick. It didn't take long to run into the trio again, they're standing around some death records, looking for someone...obviously.

"Yo, need anything? I can help if you're looking for someone." I say politely but still trying to keep it casual.

The man in the hoodie responds, "No, but thank you. We'll just look for ourselves." He's kind about it, but I get the feeling he just wants me to leave.

I notice the guy with the goggles twitching.. I wonder what neurological disorder he has..not my business. I turn around and walk away. I'll ask about the cosplays later. I decided to just go wait around at the front doors so I won't miss them when they leave. I just lollygag around, playing games on my phone to pass the time.

It doesn't take long before the men are back, looking like they're going for the exit, I quickly get their attention, "hey, yall enjoy your time here?"

The twitchy man with the goggles answers, "Y-yeah it.. it was good. Found what I I I...I was looking for." He seemed to be getting annoyed by his own tics and stuttering as he talked.

The masked man and hooded man both nod in agreement with goggles' response.

"That's good!" I give them a soft smile, "may I ask something before you leave?"

"Sure." The hooded man blankly states.

I get a little nervous, holding my hands together and twiddling my thumbs, what if I'm wrong and they just dress like this? Maybe I won't ask...

"Uh...um...ah...never mind." I stammer out tp the three men.

The masked man rolls his eyes, "okay, bye then."

I quickly respond with a small wave, "see ya! Have a nice day!"

The three men then leave and I'm left all alone again.

...yay.

[anonymouspuzzler]

Yay Yipee I Finally Remembered I Should Update Folks On Things That Are Happening

because hey whoops as some of you might remember Supposedly I Stream Sometimes! That Uhhhh Hasn't Happened In A While Has It! so I should probably let folks know what's goin' on!! the long and the short of it is

Around late November/early December I started having issues where Discord would crash and restart anytime I tried to screenshare my capture software with my friends who I stream with. This put console game streams (so 2/3 of the games we were streaming) on the backburner till I could troubleshoot and solve that issue

On top of that it was Fucking Finals Season for me at my Graduate School so at a certain point I had to be responsible and focus on getting my final projects & essays done, which meant sacrificing stream time till my break (where I would hopefully have time to troubleshoot and then do a ton of streaming to make up for lost time)

Except THEN literally the second I went home for the holidays my hard drive abruptly and completely died. It is very possible that this contributed to the aforementioned tech issues

I was able to replace the drive and get my computer working again but because I have a Fucking Curse a lot of tech-side things were lost or started experiencing issues due to the new drive, namely A) I haven't been able to get my capture software working yet and B) whoops my entire OBS layout is just gone now I guess

This whole saga, on top of juggling other life shit and work and the like, effectively ate up my entire winter break

so tl;dr! I have a computer curse and because of it streams are gonna have to wait till I can get both OBS and my capture software working again. I'm hoping to work on that this weekend so I can be back to streaming next week, but given my school & job workload I'm guessing it'll more likely be two or three weeks. On top of that, I won't be streaming most of March due to reason of "my partner is visiting then". all of this sucks cause I want to be streaming, both for reason of "i like spending time with my good friends doing this" and "haha whoops I'm not earning money now and oh boy there sure are a lot of expenses flying at my head like rocks huh".

I've already rambled a bit more than I'd like to now so here's da main points:

Streams will (HOPEFULLY) be back in February. When they are, they'll be Monday & Tuesday nights, 5:30pst/8:30est, for as long as my friends remain available at those times (we're all adults having to look for or maintain Day Jobs so availability could change. y'all know how it is). I may also do occasional one-off streams on weekends as my energy 'n schedule permits, most likely art streams

I'll continue to be around on Holly's streams Fri/Sat/Sun as her schedule permits, because I don't have to rebuild OBS from the ground up for that

There is a 99.99% chance I'll be totally absent stream-wise during March

Even though streams are facing The Troubles I am still taking art commissions! Those haven't been affected!! You can submit an interest form here and I'll reach out to confirm prices as soon as I'm ready to start work on yours

If, out of the kindness of your heart, you would like to toss some support my way during The Troubles (which would be much appreciated; as said I've got a lot of expenses coming my way and unfortunately my day job covers my rent and nothing more), here are some other ways you can do so: -- Tip me on Ko-Fi; if you pay $9 or more you can request a doodle that I'll do for you and post on here & twitter (and might stream the process of drawing once that's up and running again). Here's an example of some Ko-Fi doodles I did previously -- You can also tip through my stream page if you want but I probably won't see those till I start streaming again. Still appreciated!!! -- I have a Throne Wishlist that's mostly stuff like kitchenware, household goods, stuff for my kitty, etc. There's also a few Fun Things though, like vinyls and a billy big bass Jay insisted I add. Either way, if you wanna contribute to something on there it means a lot. You can also suggest items to make me laugh

an' above all: thank you for reading and for bein' around!!

[axewchao]

Thanks for the birthday wishes, frens.

I would've replied to them the moment I got them, but I was on vacation with my folks and the WiFi provided was... shitty, for lack of better word. To the point where all I could do both here and on dA was lurk.

There's another reason as to why I've been quiet here, and that's because I recently had to say goodbye to my dog.

I'll stick the full story under a readmore.

~~~

I've been struggling with finding a way to say this without making it seem like I'm just... dumping it all on y'all. But it's not exactly something you can dance around, and it probably shouldn't be danced around.

And I didn't want to just pretend to be perfectly fine online, either. Even the idea of trying that just feels... wrong.

So... I will just say it.

I'm putting extra gaps here for emphasis that this is not pleasant talk. If you're uncomfortable with talk of lost pets, please scroll away/hit the back button/leave this post now. I'll add some squiggly lines to act as one last warning.

~~~

~~~

~~~

~~~

~~~

~~~

~~~

~~~

~~~

~~~

I know I haven't mentioned her very much online, but Zira, my beloved poodle and dearest friend for the last 14 years... was put to sleep the day before my birthday.

It broke my heart, but it had to be done; she was old, she had health problems, and the vet said she wouldn't make it by the time I came home.

I wasn't even able to say goodbye to her. Unless a "be good, doggo." counts as I dropped her off for boarding about an hour before I was given the... news.

I was left unresponsive for the rest of the 8th and most of the 9th. It wasn't until my aunt (who previously owned one of Zira's littermates and lost him to similar circumstances a few years prior) took a moment to talk to me that I finally cracked, letting out everything I was bottling up. Had it not been for her reaching out, I probably would still be in a silent state even now, unable to do anything other than lie down and cry because Zira was gone and it felt as though no one else gave a shit beyond obligatory "I'm sorry"s.

I soon learned how wrong I was in that last regard, as I eventually talked about it with my mother who, much like her daughter, isn't one for crying regularly. To actually see her upset to the point of tears over Zira's fate despite almost never interacting with her... it... I'm not sure how to put it, but it was relieving to know that my mom really did care, both about how I felt and about Zira in the end.

Zira was... well, I didn't call her my "fuzzy baby child" for nothing. She meant everything to me, and to think that starting today, I'll be coming home without her there to greet me, to lie at the end of my couch while I sleep, curl up beside me while I draw, or even so much as hear those cute little snores she made while napping... it just hurts. More than I've ever felt in my life.

I can feel myself tearing up as I type, so... I guess I should finish this off. I'm home now, and have already visited the animal hospital to retrieve the collar and bandanna Zira was wearing, which the vet was kind enough to hold onto per my request. Alongside those were a card with Zira's paw print, and a picture of my girl.

I don't know when I'll start posting again, but I'll try not to take too long. And I'll continue to lurk and talk here and there, if only sparingly.

To those who read this to end, I thank you for for your time.

And to those who still have fuzzy (or scaly/feathery) baby children of their own... Cherish them. Give them as great a life as you can, and when the time comes for them to leave... Do what my aunt told me to do; hold onto the memories of them while they were alive. It still hurts, especially since I lost Zira so recently...

But my aunt's not wrong. Because after I cry over seeing Zira's stuff, I find myself remembering my fuzzy baby child fondly, and smile when I thought I no longer could.

[cindersalad]

It's time for the usual end of the year thoughts post on this blog. Horay!

Hey, hello. ❤ I hope you're having a fantastic day, or that it'll get better if it's not a good day! It's the last week of the year, another Christmas has gone by ('thankfully', whispers I, a very Grinch-y person), and I'm sitting here thinking about my year. And what a year. It has been a roller coaster, and on the personal level I got probably the most full year I've had in the latest, what, six years? I'm learning to kind of manage my anxiety, I'm learning to ask for help when I can't (which is probably the biggest thing)... I got a job, too, finally! It'll start the first days of next year, which will reduce a lot my free time, but I've never been happier. I feel useful.

But scrolling through my blog I also fully realized that this has probably been the least productive year in terms of drawings. I think I've posted only 11 drawings, not even one per month, and in general I think I've spent... months? not even touching a drawing supply. It was probably for the best: I really needed to fix some stuff. To finish some of the things I started, too. But, man, did I miss drawing. I think it's one of the biggest voids I had this year, together with just... telling stories. Any story, in any format. I miss drawing comics, I miss writing stories, I just miss it.

Next year it will be a whole new story. With the job starting and a lot of other big changes already in plan, if this year seemed to me full I can't even imagine how I'll feel next year, but for some reason I feel having a lot less free time will make me use that little window a lot better of having an entire free day. I want to return drawing much more frequently, I want to return telling stories! It probably won't be immediate, but I have a lot of sketched illustrations that I want to continue, and my itch for taking the pencil daily is returning stronger than ever. I want to post more often, my sketches as well, despite always feeling so insecure about them. Perhaps some processes, too? And I want to return to write. I have so many stories in my mind, and a lot would work very well as fanfictions - I wanted to draw most of them, but I suddenly realized that I could very well write them too. Nothing stops me from adapting parts of those fanfics into fancomics in the future, anyway! Writing entire stories in my second language won't be easy (and at least one of the fanfics I have in mind will probably be in Italian and I'll have to see if to translate it), but I roleplay a lot in English, so I feel pretty confident. >:)

I don't know what I'll manage to do next year, I'm not setting any real goal in terms of productivity here, but... man, I really wish I can start an original comic this time. Humbert's story and Avi's story are both really well darn developed, but going from notes to an actual flashed out story is a step that has been too big for me for now. But with all I accomplished this year, maybe the step is becoming more and more doable. ❤

Anyway, I've kept you here long enough. ❤ I'm not sure how much stuff I'll actually manage to make, but a year is longer than we think! Everything I'll do, you'll receive updates here, so worry not! Thank you so much for sticking with me all this time despite the very few updates, of all your patience and support, comments and messages. You're the best! ❤ I hope you'll have a fantastic day, and that your future will be golden and full of good things. Take care, and I will see you next year! ❤

[british-bigfoot]

I reappear again!

And I'm very tired, but we move. I don't mean to keep going radio silent for such long periods, I do tend to get way too engrossed into my work and I'm absolutely abismal at keeping up with social media. I can't excuse myself for this, especially since this has been to my detriment more recently; I've been experiencing some troubles with my left elbow recently (which is my drawing arm) that, while not too bad right now, have made me have to consider taking things more easy, which also hasn't helped with a large of burnout I've been feeling on my current animation project.

So, what does this mean? Well, for starters, I'm continuing work on the animation. Despite my burnout, I still feel like I'm putting good work into it and at this point abandonning it would just feel plain silly. In fact, here's the finished clean for shots 2 and 3 (shot 1 doesn't have the character so I don't have to animate). I'm currently... halfway(?) into cleaning up shot 4, and while I did want to get it done for this month to show you guys the whole thing that isn't gonna happen.

Shot 2:

Shot 3:

Next, once clean up is done, I'm going to be working on this animation a bit less so that I can make some other stuff. I know that might seem a bit backwards considering the previous problems I've listed, but my burnout really comes from being bogged down on one project for so long and instead of making one really good looking animations, I want to make "crappy" ones... and finally push forward with some original projects (even though I really want to play some games (I'm right at the end of Paper Mario TTYD) so bear with me).

My original plan was to get the animation done by October, but now I'm taking the stance of "It's done when it's done". This is really important to me as I want to start pushing to get a career in animation and this seems like the best way to get my work out there, alongside interacting with the community more (eventhough my quietness seems to extend to my online persona). As for my elbow, I've been doing stretches, exercises and wearing supports and it's feeling better, but I don't want to risk never being able to draw again so I'll still be taking it easy for some time.

That's almost everything, but I've got one more thing to share that I'm excited and nervous about:

I'm joining Artfight this year! I'll be on team Seafoam, but noboby's safe, I'll be attacking everyone and drawing as many peoples characters as I can. The characters I've put forward for other people to draw are: Mellow, Shamus, Lucy and Bruce (ignore John Travolta, I haven't submitted a fifth character). Welp, that enough from me, I know I've wrote long posts in the past but this one has gone overboard. I'll see you guys next month with more stuff, mainly Artfight and 1-hour anim probably, and hopefully my drawing arm doesn't explode!

[aghadbeenhere]

Waking up, then laying back down.

AGHADBEENHERE'S UNNAMED BLOG: 2#

Riiight, and we're back! It's me, AG once again talking to you about random things I thought of in the few days since my first post! (Or was it just one day? I dunno, time's a blur for me now.) and today I woke up at 4 in the afternoon, impressiiiiveee! I'm very much aware of the fact my sleep schedule isn't EXACTLY the best and trust me, I've been fixing it!.. A few times.

Sometimes I wake up at 6am, 10am, 9pm.. 3am.. My sleep schedule's more of a roulette wheel at this point, but I think that's alright, it's not like I'm doing anything THAT productive since I do have all the time in the world..

I had some pasta with bolognesa sauce when I woke up, so I'd say that was pretty damn good..

I did spend most of my day thinking about what to write, since my life's not a very EVENTFUL one, I played some games, drew some art, yada-yada..

(this being said art)

I'd say I'm decently proud of it, I'm still struggling to really find my style and how I feel comfortable with drawing.. I think I might go traditional one day, I'd love to carry a notebook around where I just.. Doodle stuff, art pieces, little sketches, notes.. I see a kinda 'charm' in doing that sorta stuff.. And it can really help me just zone out the world around me when I don't feel like it.

But right now I don't really HAVE a world to zone out from, I think I need to go outside someday (in the future, maybe, just maybe) and get some fresh air and think about things, since I haven't gone out in six months or so.. You know, maybe one day I'll go out to sea, I've never been on a boat trip but I think it'd be interesting! I always see some of my favorite shows have at least ONE boat episode (list of shows being: Always Sunny In Philadelphia & Community)

And although they tend to paint it in a purposefully bad light for the sake of humor, I still think about it!

I still think about a lotta things, actually. (Surprising as THAT is.)

Not-so-recently (about.. a year ago or so) a friend I spoke with just blocked me out of nowhere, no message, no notice, they just up and disappeared, and when I attempted contacting them on an alternate platform, I got no response, actually; when I looked at their account, it was entirely clean! A blank slate! No posts, comments, or anything like it! I was SERIOUSLY dumbfounded by that.. Their account wasn't deleted, but the posts were??

I still haven't gotten word from them, and I can't help but at times think as to WHY they just disappeared.. And maybe even think about how it'd be to talk to them again, I know it's a pipe dream, and they may never come back, but I find a sort of comfort in at least hoping for better times, or some sort of closure on that..

But hey, in the probably one-in-billions-or-something chance of them ever coming back, I'd say something like: "Hey man! Long time no see! How ya' been? Why'd ya' disappear?" or something casual, because I would wait 5 years of solitude if I was assured that they'd come back at the end of it, I'd do that with a lot of my friends, they're really kinda why I keep pushin' on and on, and I know that if I just vanished, let go of everything and just gave up;

They'd be disappointed and sad.

SO yeah, that's how I'm still here.

Considering how this is starting to get long and I want to go get some pasta, I'm gonna go for now, but hey, we got a continuation, and we can only hope for a third part.

So, with that, AG had been here, but before they left, they wished you a good day, good afternoon, and good night. (awkward attempt at a sendoff 1#)

-ag

[ibelieveinghost]

4/7/24

up-dates!!!

1st off!: got my visa!!! finally!!!!!! actually, i got it on Wednesday but never found the energy to write here haha. oh! i graduated on Friday too and somehow talked the school into refunding the rest of the tuition. so everything went great in the end.

but seriously. i haven't write in so long, and i'll try my best this morning(rainy Sunday vibes yay!) to cover as much as possible. ok moving on---

i've been drawing/sketching on and off, and it sorta feels like a habit. lighthearted efforts and ease, something i rarely experience w/ making art since...since high school.

i've been updating more consistently on my blogs/twitter now. i got some response. some. not as much as one'd wish haha. but honestly, i felt so grateful that people are liking my stuff.

on the other hand, the job hunting has been going... well it has been going! not a ton of jobs being posted out there since early March, and i'm starting to realize that i'm only pretending to be really wanting certain positions. i got so accustomed to idea of working as a researcher/scientist, but. man. wasn't that why i left school in the first place, that i fucking hate it despite pouring ~10 years of my life into it and seemed to be going somewhere. having bright prospects and all. now that i knew. well. i need a little more time to think and un-think, to not rush ahead, and be complete honest w/ myself. getting the visa means i got all the time i want. so again, all worked out in the best way possible.

oh yea! birthday coming up in couple weeks! woo hoo! been planning a little overnight trip somewhere! probably 軽井沢 or 伊豆高原. idk! haven't gone anywhere not Tokyo/Yokohama since early Jan, and traveling alone is totally my thing! actually, growing older is so much cooler than i'd thought when i was in my early 20s. but like. past me: imagining feeling more grounded, taking things less seriously, and being more in tune with urself.

ok! dumping some photos seem like a good way to continue:

(reverse chronological order)

(コメダ I literally come here everyday now lol)

(graduation cert came with a bear! + my lamys... i'm not collecting them! they're super easy to write to write with and i adore the bright neon colors that's it!)

( i went to the 4D special viewing of prisoner of Azkaban and man---it worked so well w/ the 4D format. i mean it is the rainy/icy snowy one of the 8, so a lot of spraying water on your face situations! i was wearing a wide grin the whole time i guess. it was so much fun. that being said, i def shed a few tears near the end when harry realized no one's coming to save the two of em, so he stepped out and did what he didn't even know he's capable of. a scene my younger self never managed to relate to. but it def resonates now.

i love this movie so much, probably my fav out of all of them. watched it at the theater w/ dad when i was probably in...middle school or younger?)

(awww)

(the day i got my visa)

(date w/ S!)

(dinner later that night, w/ the gang)

(us, acting a little stupidly ha + interesting cards i took from the bar)

(last Sunday)

(the komeda near ogikubo station, it went all orange that day + cute lil book i might come back and buy later)

(the night i last hang out w/ A)

damn we're reaching the 30 photo/post limit

so guess that's that! i'm coming back to wrap up this epic photo dump soon(later today)

it felt so nice to just recounting my life, sharing all the bits and pieces on one had ever asked for. to me, it's a cute and ultimately therapeutic thing to do. my future self must be thanking me for taking the time to record everything haha.

anyway! see ya soon!

[thelunanightly]

06/05/2023 - Onset

Hey, I'm not quite sure what compelled me to do this but I figured it might be worth a shot! I saw some comics on twitter earlier today of a man who would draw cartoons depicting how down he was when his wife was gone for a period of time, and I've been struggling a bit so I thought maybe airing all of my messy little feelings through some medium would emulate that. Maybe I'll show you these one day, or maybe I'll keep them here! It's been...really, really difficult without you here. Way, way more than I like to admit. In my opinion, silly or not, I want you to enjoy your internship and all the opportunities along with it as much as possible --- to me, that means sometimes not conveying the magnitude of which I miss you. I never want you to feel unloved or not missed, but I at the same time don't want it to be a burden or emotionally taxing to you. We're both busy people, and while we can definitely make time to be there for each other, I'm afraid it could become a codependent or otherwise emotionally taxing situation if I was given that access and became over-reliant.

But honestly I've been sick to my stomach missing you. As someone who has exclusively done long distance relationships prior, I gravely underestimated how much it would hit me being here without you. I think about you all the time, I cry probably the most often I have in a long while. I'm also just wondering what you're up to, if you're thinking about me. I've been kind of a mess! I think there's a lot of reasons to it. The largest part is just genuine love and the separation is just making me palpably aware of how lucky I was before and how comforting, pleasant, otherwise amazing those moments I do get to be with you in person are. It's weird realizing just the degree of closeness I feel with you already, I think I'd share just about anything with you if prompted, even stuff I'm typically pretty uncomfortable or reserved about within my closest circles. You were such an insanely calming presence the past few months, and it definitely leaves a bit of a hole! Some other parts are unfortunately not so romantic and cute. I think LDR may have reopened a lot of the insecurities, dependencies, and self-worth issues I had in previous relationships. I do get flashes of times of some paranoia induced from exes. It's no secret my past ex brought me to near suicide, not hyperbole. With her, every day was wildly unpredictable. She worked for 8 hours too everyday, and on good days she'd be instantly responsive and upbeat outside of that frame. But if she wasn't responding? If she was cold? It wasn't ever out of busy-ness. It was intentional and deliberate on her end so you knew she wasn't happy with you, didn't like you, and in the later stages was debating cutting you off entirely. I heard a lot of horrible things from her throughout those final months. The only instance we tried nsfw stuff she basically laughed when she saw me. She would ask me if I would be okay with her cheating on me if it was a girl. She would say stuff like I'm lucky I'm funny, etc. She broke up with me (one of many times) when I shaved and sent a picture. BPD or otherwise, every single day with her felt like a test. A lot of days it felt like I had to be at my best --- funniest, best dressed, most understanding, etc. or she would drop me in an instant. Even when you were doing everything right, she would suddenly go silent on a call and tell you to leave. You never know what you were doing wrong or why, but you could always feel you weren't enough.

I thought with my brief therapy stint and some introspection I had overcome those hurdles, but I see a lot of the aftermath of that in the way I interact with you. Days where I feel like I didn't make you laugh as much or that I responded too much/too quickly I kinda beat myself up for. It leads me to sometimes not texting at all, or leaving shorter stuff. I get sick and afraid that if I just continually let out the gushy mushy "hey reminder im in love with you" type stuff youll get bored eventually. I don't know what it is with long distance, but I start seeing it all as a performance, not in that what I'm doing isn't genuine, but that if I'm not acting what my brain views as perfect, you'll suddenly/gradually become disinterested and leave. I'm also painfully aware its so much easier for someone to just break up over LDR too. These are insane irrationalities, and I by no means should be accomodated for it. In fact, you already do. You've repeatedly assured me that you're with me through thick and thin, and I should show more gratitude than I do. You are a genuinely kind, wonderful soul, I just get lost in my head. It's clearly a self-esteem issue, there must be some fear that one day you'll see me as boring or not so funny or not so cute and once again, you'll leave. It's why I get a bit of weird irrational jealousy too. Not in a controlling way, just in a gross feeling way. Hearing about how great Andrew is, or the Christian camping thing do make me feel weird. I sincerely don't believe you'd ever cheat, and so its not like a genuine concern. It's just this irrational fear that *someone* will come along who's better than me, and you'll realize. It's a terrible thing to say about myself,I know. I don't think you'd cheat, but I'm afraid you'll wake up and see me as I am, not as how you view me now

I'm not the gross monster I see myself as. Sometimes I feel ugly, awkward, lame, boring. Especially this week. I'm just not doing well I'm afraid. I know I'm not any of those things. I'm actually a pretty decent looking guy with a right haircut, I actually do talk to a lot of people and do a lot of things, I can be pretty funny. I just feel awful. I feel so boring and nothing and routine compared to the life you're getting, to the opportunities you have, to the new people who might be more talented, more cozy, funnier than me. and I'm so afraid of losing you. I really really love you and I can see a future and I don't want to jeopardize that. ah it actually does hurt thinking about it. I think that's why I've felt so sick and gross and weird. My brain has conjured up a million ways I might lose you, a million ways I might not be enough and I'm so fucking afraid one of them will come true. Am I destined to make them come true by constantly viewing it throug hthat? how fucked that would be. self sabotage at its finest. god fucking damn it

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im sobbing. you cant see this no one should see this aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nothing but bad thoughts right now. the classic insecure dependent bullshit. im not good enough for you, you deserve better type hsit. not true. im actually a pretty kickass boyfriend and someone as great s you deserves the energy im willing to put in

I think I just need to find my center again. I need to recognize I am valuable, I have worth. Even on days where I'm not perfect, even on days where I'm not funny, even on days I don't look all that great. I have a habit of tying my self-worth to things like productivity, to other people. Bad ideas and I know it and have been trying to work against doing so, but I get caught up still sometimes.

The fact is I've been born on watching standup, I have hours of random niche info dumps, enjoy everything from gayming to rock climbing, actively aim to get more fit, am a talented writer, always willing to give advice and emotional support. I'm a wonderful guy, and no bad print day or occasional fail joke takes that away from me. No one's comments about me, no matter how close they were to me prior take that away either. I wanna work on independence. Emotional independence is a big one - not being quite as needy, not being quite as gross and weird-feeling when you talk about how nice someone is, or plans you have. There's a decent chance you feel some of this too! My only like regular friend rn is claire, so I would get if you felt weird by just how often I bring her up, though just like it is for you its completely normal friend stuff for me.

I think if i focus on some of my own goals I outlined for myself, it will help us all. It will make me a better person (net positive for us both) it will give me some accomplishment (self esteem positive) it will keep me interesting (relationship positive) and it will make time pass faster (see eachother sooner positive)

Days do kinda grind forever. But I'm not doing a ton outside of work so no wonder! Of course I'm going to be lonely and sad if I just lay in bed the moment I'm out of work. I need to do more stuff, live more!!

I know this is a very scary post to be shown so hopefully I don't LMAO but know this is also just a snapshot. There are plenty of days, hours, moments I feel completely fine. I've just this week really been hit with the self esteem stuff. Maybe it finally sunk in that you're gone gone for a while! I wanna end this all on a sentiment that is kinda nihilist, but in a good way. Cole and I have this belief that we both need to focus more on experiences now rather than future or past stuff - pretty common universal truth, but we want to consciously make an effort to be more present and do so in present. A way I like to frame these bouts of insecurity is with the following idea: In a nightmare world where you and I broke up, I would still be immensely grateful for everything. You've imparted so much emotional wisdom, gave me so many milestone experiences, truly made me feel loved and cared about. You are one of the best people I ever met and that opinion will not change. No matter any gossip you are a warm, loving person who just wants to understand others and enjoy their company. I can be an introverted shell, and I think there's a much darker alligator world where I never met you and stayed silent and awkward forever. You push me in a lot of good ways, and I think those impacts will be with me for the rest of my life. I can only hope to have positively affected you a quarter of what you've done for me.

I consider all these weird feelings the first true "obstacle" in the relationship. I love you, and I want desperately to make this work. As naive and romantic as it is, I genuinely believe that we are compatible enough that we could WAYYY down the line form an actual life together. I could see you being the proverbial one. Knowing this, I will overcome these hurdles. I will become more confident and secure and less moody and emotional. On two fronts. One, myself - if I can't love myself I can't love others and so much of my joy in life comes from loving and helping others. Two, for you - if working through my emotional weaknesses to become a stronger, more independent person strengthens our relationship, how could I ever simply lay down, let the bad feelings hit me, and die? I will fight my inhibitions.

if you do end up reading this one day, boy secret: after a big, hearty cry where you really ugly let out all emotions, there is a compelling desire to jerk off. It's like the self-love equivalent of makeup sex LMAO. toodles!

[seonghwa-is-babie]

Soft kitten

Hybrid! Seonghwa x male reader

Warning: mentioned abuse, crying, angst

Note: I think this the fastest I've ever redone a fic😳😳

Hope u enjoy!

"get up, pet" the guard said as seonghwa's cage opened, stepping out with his ears and tail hanging low. not really sure where he had to go, only knowing to obey orders, or he'll get even more beatings than just the daily torture of malnutrition.

Seonghwa lost hope ever since they kidnapped him from his home in the jungles and brought him to this prison like building, he had tried escaping many times, but every one of those failed. and the punishment for them was even worse than a failed attempt at freedom

They stopped in front of a curtain, pushing the boy through it. He fell to the ground, only when he looked up did he realise what his situation was. It was an auction, selling hybrids for a lot of money

"now up next as you can see, this beautiful white tiger hybrid, only 22 years old" prices were being shouted through the room, building up price little by little, until "$100,000,000" a voice said, this shocked everyone, including seonghwa. who'd give out that much just for a hybrid? "sold! You may come and get your hybrid after the auction"

After the auction, they put him back in his cage. He secretly hoped his new 'home' will be better than this one, though, he doubts it'll be anything different from his current life. Footsteps started coming to his cage and stopped in front of him

"get up" said the man who sold him. Seonghwa had trouble with it due to his wounds from the previous beatings "I'm terribly sorry for his lazy attitude sir" he said as the boy got up to face his new owner "it's fine" said the man who bought him. he was handsome, but seonghwa wasn't one to be fooled easily by appearances. he wore a fancy velvet suit and had (h/c) hair that was styled neatly

The older man did the leash on seonghwa's collar and handed it to the other "it's all yours now" the man nodded and left the building, seonghwa's ears still hanging low. He was glad to be out of there, but what will happen after this?

They got to a car that was parked relatively close, the other opened the door for him. Seonghwa didn't ask anything and stepped inside, the other went to the drivers seat and started driving "so what's your name?" he looked up shyly and said "s-s-seonghwa, sir." "that's a pretty name, and you can drop the sir or any formalities, just call me y/n." seonghwa blushed "thank you si- y/n, sorry" y/n shook it off.

🐯

The rest of the ride was quiet, seonghwa being too afraid and shy to start any conversation. "you don't talk much, do you?" y/n asked, seonghwa tensed up afraid he did something wrong

"it's alright, I get it. Your previous home must've been rough and laid down a lot of rules" y/n looked at seonghwa through the mirror of the car "I'm sorry you had to go through that, but don't worry, you won't have to go through that ever again, I'll make sure of it"

was his luck finally turning around? he didn't wanna get his hopes up too high too soon though, after all the man could just be lying to him "actually, I already have 7 hybrids I take care of already, they're like family to me." this made the smaller relieved, yet still nervous and frankly, a bit scared, what if the other hybrids don't like him or beat him like some of the others did back at his now old home.

They arrived at a big mansion, to seonghwa, it was a bit terrifying. When they got out of the car, y/n gestured seonghwa to come closer, the other obeyed but got extremely nervous when he felt hands around his neck, he flinched, pulling away "oh, I'm sorry, I was just gonna take your collar off since it looks a bit uncomfortable" seonghwa calmed down a bit, enough to let y/n finish taking his collar off. The older then gestured to take his hand, which the other took

Y/n opened the door, hoping the boys didn't mess up the house too bad, only to be met with no damage whatsoever "huh, that's new. Nothing's broken or damaged" seonghwa looked at him confused, but decided against asking, since he was still a bit on edge

He heard multiple pairs of feet come their way and hid behind y/n "hyung! You're home!" multiple voices said, they must be his other hybrids. All of them ran up to him to give him a hug, and that's when they noticed Seonghwa "hyung, who's that?" San, a cat hybrid who was currently in the older's arms, pointed behind y/n, eager to know the strangers name

"right, boys could you all please calm down a bit, I have some important news" that made the boys perk up "I've decided to bring another friend home, this is seonghwa, I hope you'll be kind to him like you are to each other. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to show seonghwa his room, you can ask him questions after that"

🐯

It's been about a month since seonghwa was introduced to the house, and he felt like he was in heaven, many friends, a loving owner that helped him get over past traumas, who he might be starting to like a little more than just his owner, and the freedom to finally chose for himself.

but not everything was all sunshine and rainbows. After a few weeks he started to question why he was even brought into this house, why y/n wanted him so badly that he spent $100,000,000 on him alone. how could seonghwa ever even try to pay him back, at this point he just feels like a burden to the man

🐯

One evening after dinner, seonghwa headed to his room early , claiming he was tired. When he got to his room, he started thinking 'why would he take me in, it seems like he has enough hybrids already, so why bring home another mouth to feed. He should have just left me there, where I won't be a burden to him' thinking more and more of these thoughts, he started to silently cry into his sheets

🐯

"boys, I'm gonna check up on seonghwa ok, I'll be back in a minute" the youngsters gave him quick 'ok' and went back to the show that was playing. As y/n was walking towards his room, he couldn't help but feel worried about the tiger hybrid, something seemed a bit odd when he went to his room so early.

He opened the door to seonghwa's room, only to find the latter seemingly sound asleep. y/n smiled at him and went to close the door, until he heard a quiet sniff coming from seonghwa's direction "seonghwa?" he didn't answer "seonghwa?" again, he didn't answer, but the older went in because he knew that he wasn't just hearing things.

He crouched down on the younger's bedside, but he had already covered his face with his blanket "seonghwa, could you please lower the sheets, I want to see your face for a second" y/n spoke in a gentle tone. The younger shook his head "please seonghwa, I want to make sure you're alright, and I can't do that without looking at your face

Seonghwa hesitated, but slowly lowered the sheets, revealing his red eyes and tear stained cheeks, the older immediately became worried, but tried to keep his calm "kitten, what's wrong? Did someone hurt you? Is it-"

"why did you get me?" y/n was shocked at that "you already have so many, so why bring in another mouth to feed. You could have easily left me to get bought by someone else. So why?! Why did you buy a stupid tiger that's nothing more than a burden to you?!?!"

he couldn't believe what he was hearing, to him, seonghwa, though having only been here for a short time, has become one of the most important people in his life. He couldn't let seonghwa think about himself like that

"seonghwa, i got you because from the first time I saw you, I knew you needed someone, someone that loves you and respects you, and I thought, I could be that person. It doesn't matter to me how many hybrids there are in my house, I will take care of all of you no matter what. And trust me, you're not a burden, you already help so much around the house, and the others already love you to death, I love you to death. Please, don't think that about yourself, I know you've been through a lot of stuff, but right here, right now, I'll promise to keep you save until I draw my last breath, you're save with us, with me"

Seonghwa cried, but these tears were those of happiness. He engulfed y/n in a hug, wrapping his arms around the olders neck while putting his head in his his chest "th-th-an-k you, thank you so much!" y/n stroked the younger's back, carefully lifting himself on the bed "it's alright dear, you're safe with me, no one's gonna hurt you"

🐯

After a while of comforting y/n realised he hasn't told the boys to go to bed yet "sweetheart, I have to go see the boys for a little and make sure they go to bed, is that alright with you?" seonghwa didn't let him go "can't you stay here?" he chuckled at the younger clinging onto him as if his life depended on it

"I'll only be gone for a few minutes, then I'll come straight back to you" the younger continued his whining "nooooo, I wanna stay with you" y/n lifted him up so he was wrapped around his chest, clinging on him like a koala "then you're coming with me"

"boys, it's time for bed" y/n said as he came downstairs, the others looked at him with a questioning look "what?" he asked, the others gave knowing looks to each other "hyung?" San asked "yeah, what is it?" the next words, y/n definitely didn't expect to hear "do you like seonghwa hyung?"

🐯

The question had stuck with him since the others went to bed 'maybe I do like him, he brings a smile to my face just by existing, he's a true sweetheart, not to mention he's the most beautiful person i've ever laid my eyes on' " umm, y/n?" the older turned his head to seonghwa "I ummm, might have heard what you and San talked about" y/n sighed, sitting up from the bed, already knowing where this was going "I understand it if you felt uncomfortable about that, but he wasn't wrong actually, I've found myself quite fond of you actually, but I completely understand if these feelings aren't the same for you."

the two stood there in complete silence "I guess I should go I probably made this extrem-" "no wait!" y/n looked back at seonghwa who's face was completely red "umm, I umm, I also like you, the feelings' mutual" he almost stuttered out completely. The older smiled softly at him, crawling back into bed with him, petting his ears "You're so soft, kitten."

[reki-of-the-valley]

Self Love Retrospective

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2021. Tag as many creators as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Tagged by my darling @rainbowrider1290 💛💛 Thank you 💛💛

This might take a hot minute for me to choose stuff lol. Also not gonna be in any particular order, just as they pop up in my head

1. Summer Time (Family) Madness

(This passage from chapter 10 is by far my absolute favorite one ever. I will never shut up about chapter 10, it just means so much to me and it will never cease to make me soft)

Anyway, obviously I love love love this fic (which I'll continue this year! Chapter 11 will be written, I have the detailed notes, worry not everyone!) and I'm so proud of the improvement that can be seen just from chapter to chapter. I love being able to see where I got more comfortable with the characters and just. having a slight fandom presence. This one is my baby and I just love it so much 💛

2. Emily in the pretty dress

I am by no means an artist (drawing-wise) but this drawing just makes me so happy. I genuinely like this drawing (which can't be said about everything I draw) and I find my baby girl so pretty here 💛 Also having gotten the versions by @rainbowrider1290 and @spyders-chaos made me really happy and made me love it even more 💛 three versions of this pretty girl in three different styles (thank you so much to you two, I love you so much!)

3. Stay Cool, It's Just a Kiss

(yeah Imma just use the IG format to highlight my favorite passage of this drabble)

Despite being a dumb thing I wrote while on the bus, this one quickly became one of my favorites. I often go back to it when I had a bad day because it just. Makes me smile and, this might sound silly, but that part just makes my breath hitch as if I wasn't anticipating it (or as if I wasn't the one who wrote it). I know it's coming but it still manages to catch me off guard lol

4. Baked With Love

Probably one of the softest things I've written this year. I love the mixture of domestic and soft and playful and loving and just !!! Another one I often go back to when I need comfort. It's just really super fluffy and it was the start of my adoration for domestic Renga and for writing love confessions. And, ngl, I had a lot of fun with the makeout scene..... I haven't written that many of those but this one was really fun. I also had fun making fun of myself in this one but like.... except my friends, that part might have gone over everyone's heads

5. You Are My Sunshine

One of the most anxiety-inducing ones for some reason??? Actually, I know why it was so anxiety-inducing but I'm not gonna get into that. I genuinely love this one and it was a big turning point for me. 1) It's when I realized I could do amazing things in the present tense, 2) I learned that I adore the "break into parts" format (my next two fics will be in that format again, it's been a hot minute), and 3) it's when I realized I can actually have a place in this fandom because it's the first fic I ever saw shared on an IG story (and I screamed into my pillow because I couldn't believe these amazing artists were recommending my little stories). You Are My Sunshine just holds such a special place in my heart, how could I not adore it? It means just so much to me 💛

Honorable mentions because I love a lot of the things I've written:

- After Hours, because I've grown to love my babies Haru and Yuki

- The 12 Days of Christmas because it's my longest completed project and it was on a time crunch

- Kiss It Better because it was my first one-shot published for this fandom

Anyway, 2021 was a blast for me! I found a home in the Sk8 fandom, I made amazing friends, and I just had so much fun! But that's enough about me!

As for tags... Really, anyone who wants to do it, I highly encourage you to do it because you deserve to appreciate yourself! But I will tag my two wonderful and super artistic and creative friends @megatraven and @spyders-chaos if y'all wanna give this a go! I love you and you are amazing! All of you! Here's to an amazing 2022, filled with moments of creativity and of beautiful art and love! 💛💛

[ma-gic-gay]

Just as Michael's about to answer their question, Jason's phone goes off. "Perfect timing," he mutters before going outside to take the call. "Jason Morgan."

"Mr. Morgan, it appears Mr. Renault is at the office demanding to speak with you. What should I do?" One of his employees informs him.

"Cyrus has my number. If he would like to schedule a meeting, tell him he can call me and we'll have one."

"I've already told him that and he won't agree to it."

Dammit. Peace in this town is fragile enough; the last thing they need is an angry Cyrus. He's been unstable as of late, not agreeing to this could lead to a gunfight. Well, that's actually to be expected. "We'll meet at the office in twenty minutes then. Tell him to call off his men, including Brando. Look around the perimeter and have the rest of the guards check to make sure that there's no one on the premises or within range of hitting someone."

"Yes sir," the employee agrees, hanging up the phone.

"Business stuff?" Willow asks cautiously. After all, this is the first time she's been in this situation.

"Yeah," Michael answers, sensing from the businesslike stance he's taken in their kitchen. "Let's go check on the kids."

They leave the room and instantly Carly asks, "What did he do?"

"Demanded we meet. I don't know why or what this is about, so please tell me you didn't do anything stupid that could cost the truce to be undone."

"I haven't done anything. I've considered it, but I haven't done anything yet," she tells him. "How long til the meeting?"

"I've gotta get going. You have to stay here, this doesn't concern you. Cyrus is looking for a fight and you'll give him one. He's looking for any reason to violate the truce and take me out," Jason informs her. "I mean it. No showing up."

"Is it a solo meeting?"

"Yes."

"You want me to sit here and list out the times he's tried to kill you this past year and a half? Jason, you can't got to a meeting alone. You'll get killed!" Carly exclaims.

"No I won't, Carly. I've got it handled, I told you," he says, glancing at his watch.

"Yes you will! You need to stop agreeing to these one on one meetings because one of these days he's going to get you killed and I won't be able to survive that!"

"I told you, I'm not getting killed!"

"Can you predict the future? No, you can't! I know you might want to go and have this meeting but you can't do it alone!"

"I'm going to the meeting, Carly. You are going to stay here with your kids, grandkids, and Willow," he says, voice unbudging. She's not going to win.

"Promise me you'll come back."

"Carly-"

"Promise me, Jason, or you're not going!"

"I promise."

"Fine, you can go," she surrenders, hugging him. "But be safe."

"As safe as I can be, meeting with him," he agrees.

"Alright, well you better go now or you're not going to be able to say goodbye to the kids."

He bids them all goodbye, hugs Carly again, and leaves for the meeting. His gun is on him, as is his cell phone. Though the usefulness of a cell phone is to be questioned when it's a mob meeting he's having. Not like he can exactly call the police if anything happens, they'd arrest him.

Arriving at the office, he senses that today's going to be a long day.

"Hey Harry, is it clear?"

"Yes sir."

"Alright, thanks," he says before walking into the office. "Cyrus. What's so urgent?"

"Well, Sonny's been gone a year now. I was hoping we could revisit us joining together for a way to continue the peace in this town," Cyrus answers.

"Like I told you the day you found out he was missing, that isn't happening. You're not going to run your product through this town and ruin it. This was Sonny's territory and if he's not dead and comes back, it'll be his again. We both agreed no drugs. It's not happening. Is that all?" Jason asks, bored.

"No, actually. I was wondering how Mrs. Corinthos is holding up. Given that this is the anniversary of losing her husband, I'd presume not well."

"None of your damn business."

"No need to get so defensive, I'm merely posing a question. Trying to make conversation."

"If you don't have anything related to business to discuss, my men will escort you out."

"Oh, but I doubt you will," Cyrus says, laughing evilly. "You'll be too dead to even have the chance to get me out of this room." He takes his gun from his pocket rather dramatically for Jason's taste and aims for him.

Drawing his gun himself, the now mob boss ducks, narrowly missing the bullet before firing his own, missing the other mobster by only a few inches. That was on purpose; a warning shot of sorts. "It never occurred to me," the ponytail clad man continues unaffected, "that you'd be so easy to take out. I mean, really. Your reputation is that you're businesslike and directly to the point, but then you've agreed to several meetings with me alone. I was planning on having some fairly difficult plans to kill you, but you've simply fallen into my lap. I do suppose I feel a bit bad, however, that Mrs. Corinthos will have to deal with you being dead as well."

There's a line you just don't cross in business, and that's been crossed. He remembers his promise to not die and snaps into action. "Fire that gun again and I hit you right between the eyes," Jason warns, setting himself up for his shot.

"I sense I've hit a nerve," Cyrus smiles, "mentioning her like that. Tell me, Mr. Morgan, has it ever occurred to you that you're the reason she even knows about this business? With you gone, I suppose she'll be taking it over. Though I don't doubt her, I do doubt her ability to properly run this business. It's doubtful that she'll even make it a few weeks before she's ki-"

Another warning shot goes from Jason's gun, this one only barely above his head. "Last warning, Cyrus. This isn't a game. She's barely involved in this business and you have no right to bring her up when this fight is between us. So drop the gun and get on the ground."

Chuckling as though he doesn't even really believe that he's about to be taken out, Cyrus stupidly continues, "I'll probably send one of my men to kill her, you know. Try to make it painless out of respect for her."

"Talking about me?" Carly asks, walking in with armed guards. She's got the worst timing.

"Yes I was, Mrs. Corinthos. How are you?"

"I'd be better if you were in a casket six feet under," she answers calmly. "Now, put your gun down before I kill you with my bare hands."

Where the fuck did she learn how to do that? He didn't teach her, neither did Sonny. Who did? Not the point, Carly isn't supposed to be here. She's now got the chance to be shot. That would kill him faster than the bullet wound he feels he could get.

"You heard her," Jason says. "Gun down, on the ground."

Turns out that's what needed to be done. The guards with guns pointed at his head doesn't hurt either, he's sure, but Cyrus finally gets on the ground and drops his gun.

"Good. Get Mrs. Corinthos out of here, now," he orders, to her complaints. "Carly, just go."

"I, personally, have nothing against her being here," Cyrus voices.

"You have no say." When Carly leaves, Jason calmly continues, "You mention her name again in front of me and I'll kill you. Talk about your plan to take me out again and you'll be dead. Nothing is changing. This is your last warning. Next time you try to kill me or someone I care about, you'll be dead quicker than you can even move from the scene. Get out."

Angrily, the ponytail clad man leaves, escorted by the guards. Jason then makes sure everyone knows to make sure there's no evidence of what happened, and that there's especially none Carly was ever there before he joins her in her car.

It's a quiet ride, with him firing off orders for his men and her pouting.

"I was right! He wanted you dead! You fell right into his trap!" She exclaimed when they walked into the living room of her house.

"No I didn't! Carly, I had it all under control!"

"Gun pointed at you, Jason! I walked in and there was a gun pointed at you!"

"I had mine pointed at him too! You can't walk into a gunfight!"

"Oh, but you can start one? You can get shot, I can't? Is that how this works?"

"The only reason you'd be shot in general is because of me, Carly! I introduced you to the business, I'm the reason you and Sonny got together, and I'm the reason you're still apart of it. I can deal with getting myself shot, I've survived other bullets before, but I can't deal with you getting shot!"

"I didn't!"

"Yeah, because I kicked you out of there!"

"I brought the guards, I was safe!"

"You walked into a gunfight when I told you it was the stupid thing to do! I told you not to go but you couldn't help yourself, could you, and you went to the meeting."

"You want me to tell you I was wrong and apologize? I'm not gonna do that! You could've been killed! God knows what Sonny's livelihood status is, but yours is alive. Alive, Jason! I'm not risking you dying, alright?"

"I've survived bullets before, I'd survive this one!"

"How do you know that? I need you to stay alive, so I don't care what your feelings are on the subject and I'm not apologizing! If I had to do it again and it was the only option, I'd go unarmed and alone. I would've been shot if it meant saving you from that! Cyrus wants you dead!"

"I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you died because of me! Your kids need their mother! Cyrus wants you dead too and I'll be damned if I let it happen."

"So what, Jason, you'll do the noble thing and die instead of me? That'll kill me. I couldn't breathe when we thought you were dead last time. Imagine how I'd be if I knew I was the one who caused it!"

"You're not dying!" He shouts back, but there's no edge to his tone anymore. He's less pissed. "Not when it's preventable. You're not getting shot either Carly. If I cause your death, I'll hate myself."

"And you think I won't hate myself if I cause yours?"

To be continued after midnight bc I have thing to add to my blog

eeee

[oldanatomical-heartt]

¿Te encanto?

Wrote this when I was fourteen, so it’s a little cringey. Forgive me for any Spanish errors, I was only in my second year of Spanish and I’ve been out of Spanish classes for too long to go back and correct it :(

(Translations are in parenthesis)

Peter glanced at the classroom behind him from his front row seat.  He'd been placed there, right next to the teacher's desk, after he was caught too many times watching YouTube instead of conjugating Spanish verbs.  As he looked at his classmates' faces, looking at their phones participating in the review game, he noticed one girl in the back wasn't.  He peered around the boy slightly blocking his sight to see her, (H/C) (hair type) hair, spilling over the arms she was resting her chin on.

"Peter!" Profe Rojas called, Peter snapping his head back towards the front.

"Yes, Profe?"

"You haven't answered the past three questions, if you need this review for the test, I suggest you participate," the teacher snapped.

"Yes, Profe," Peter said quietly, even though he knew he normally got a hundred percent on his exams.

Peter answered a few more questions before Profe Rojas passed out the test and the class began to complete it.

Half an hour later with his completed test turned in, Peter sat at his desk twiddling with his thumbs, thinking of what might happen today. Unfortunately, the bell interrupted his thoughts of Spider-Man's adventures.  As he quickly gathered his papers and things, Peter looked to see if the girl was there, but she had already left.  Peter sighed and was about to leave, when his teacher caught him on his way out.

"Peter," Profe Rojas said, making Peter turn.

"Yes?" Peter grimaced, afraid of the lecture he was about to receive.

"Lo siento, I forgot that even though you can sometimes be a delinquent, o un estudiante muy perezoso, you are very good at Spanish." (I'm sorry,  I forgot that even though you can sometimes be a delinquent, or a very lazy student, you are very good at Spanish)

"Oh, than-"

"-try again," he interrupted.

"Lo siento. Muchas gracias Profe, estudié mucho." (Sorry.  Thank you very much Profe, I studied a lot)

"Bueno, hasta mañana Peter." (Good, see you tomorrow Peter)

"Adiós!" Peter called over his shoulder as he jogged out of class.

Rushing back to his locker Peter shoved his homework into his backpack, before racing out of the school doors and into the streets of Queens. Turning down an alleyway Peter dug through his backpack to pull out the Spider-Man suit that was hidden underneath all his books. Quickly changing behind a dumpster and then webbing his backpack to a wall, Peter was off, making his daily rounds.

The rest of the day went by without anything of much interest, retrieving a stolen purse, catching underage teens drinking beer, playing some kickball with some first-graders. Exhausted, Peter came home and easily went through his homework, before sitting down with May for dinner and then going out for his uneventful nightly rounds, before returning home for bed.

The next day couldn't have gone by any slower for Peter, who upon entering school caught a glimpse of the girl from the back of Spanish class. He didn't know what it was about her, but something about her was drawing him in. Each class drudged along, Peter watching the clock until fourth period. Finally, when the bell rang Peter breezed by a confused Ned on his quick-paced route to the A rooms. Despite his attempt, Peter had just walked in the door when the bell rang and was quickly ushered into his seat.

"¡Buenas tardes mis amigos y amigas! ¡Hoy es viernes, viernes, viernes!" Profe Rojas enthusiastically announced to the class, stretching the e in buenas and repeating 'viernes' like a sports announcer. (Good afternoon my friends!  Today is Friday, Friday, Friday!)

The class collectively rolled their eyes at Profe Rojas's attempt to seem cool, this was not the first and definitely not his last attempt.

"I've graded your exams, and to the majority of the class, muy bueno!  Ellos  estudiaron, correcto?" Profe asked with a smile as he began handing back the tests row by row. ( I've graded your exams, and to the majority of the class, very good!  You all studied, right?) 

"Unfortunately, some of you did not do as well as I hoped you would.  If you have a note written on your exam, please see me after class," Profe said, looking directly at Peter.

Peter started to sweat, he thought he did good on the test, he knew almost every answer, but maybe he didn't. Anxious, he began twiddling his fingers as Profe finally reached his desk, the last row.  He almost ripped the test when he grabbed it from Profe's hands.  To his relief and confusion, on the top of the test next to the name slot was "100% Muy Bueno Peter ¡Congratulaciones!" (100% Very good Peter Congratulations!)   Peter leaned back and let out a sigh as all of his fears quickly hit the floor.  Peter glanced at the girl in the back and noticed she had her head in her hands with her hood over her head.

"(Y/N), no veo tu cabeza," Profe said, which made the girl look up. ((Y/N), I can't see your head) 

She looked like she was thinking, for a moment, when Profe tapped his head where her hood was.  She slowly nodded, removing the hood.

"Sorry," she said softly, so quiet Peter wouldn't have heard if he wasn't paying attention.

"En español por favor," Profe corrected. (In Spanish please)

"Oh, uh, lo siento." (Oh, uh, I'm sorry)

"Bueno!" Profe called, but Peter didn't hear him because all he could think about was how he now knew the girl's name. 

(Y/N).

Class went as usual, now learning demonstratives.  All throughout the lesson, Peter kept glancing back at (Y/N), as she seemed in a daze as she followed the lesson (much like Peter).  The bell ringing startled Peter, as it suddenly seemed to do that a lot recently.   Peter didn't know what he was going to say, but he knew that he wanted to introduce himself to (Y/N), as she had not left yet.  Furiously stuffing his backpack Peter was about to make his way over to her when Profe Rojas called him over yet again.  Peter sighed frustratedly as he tried to appear neutral to his teacher.

"Peter! Hablé con tu tía and she approved my proposal." (Peter!  I talked with your aunt and she approved my proposal)

Peter shifted from one leg to the other in discomfort as Profe Rojas continued.

"You see, some students are having a bit of trouble in class, no comprende los lecciones, y necesita asistencia para aprender".  (You see, some students are having a bit of trouble in class, they don't understand the lessons, and need help to learn.)

"Okay, I don't understand, I have an A in this class..." Peter said.

"Sí, sí. Estas correcto.  Your aunt told me you'd be available to tutor those students who aren't doing so well, and she thinks it'll be a better use of your time than what she says you already do."

Peter shifted again, slightly nervous about his 'mysterious whereabouts' with Aunt May.

"Then I don't have much of a choice, do I."

Profe laughed slightly at Peter's reply, "Not really, no."

"Alright then, who will I be tutoring?"

"Me."

Peter whirled around to see (Y/N) there, glancing from the floor to Peter and to the floor again. She awkwardly clung to the straps of her backpack and slighting rolling on the balls of her feet.

"(Y/N), isn't doing so well, I was hoping you'd be able to help her understand the lessons better," Profe said.

"Yeah yeah, sure, uh, when would this start?" Peter asked, suddenly anxious.

"You free today? Like right after school?" (Y/N) asked, staring at Peter's shoes.

"Uh..." Peter thought for a moment.

He wanted to make his daily rounds right after school, but he also wanted to meet with (Y/N).

"Yes, I am," Peter stated.

"¡Excelente!" Profe cheered, "Escribo permisos para ustedes".  (Excellent!  I'll write passes for you both)

Peter and (Y/N) stood next to each other, awkwardly waiting for Profe Rojas to fill out the passes, one for the library after school and one for them to get to their next class on time, as the passing period was almost over and students were already filling the previously empty desks.  They kept stealing glances at each other, quickly looking away once they made accidental eye contact.

"Bueno!  Now hurry to class, don't misuse those passes," Profe said, and as Peter and (Y/N) exited the classroom they could hear a faint "Excelente! Buenas tardes mis amigos y amigas! Hoy es vierrrrrrrrrrrrnes!"  (Great! Now hurry to class, don't misuse those passes//Excellent!  Good afternoon my friends!  Today is Fridaaaaaaaaaaay!)

"Sorry about this," (Y/N) said, motioning to everything with her hands.

"It's er- totally cool," Peter replied, trying to figure out what to do with his arms.

"You sure?  I mean my failing grade is now a burden to you, and your probably secret girlfriend," (Y/N) said casually.

"My- my what?" Peter stammered, caught off guard by (Y/N)'s statement.

"Your aunt thinks tutoring will be a better use of your time, and you're not in any sports, and a dorky guy like you probably doesn't have much of a social life, no offense, of course, so probably no scandalous parties or the like.  Which means you're probably sneaking off to do stuff, which means you have a girlfriend that you're hiding from your aunt, or y'know you could secretly be that Spider-Man dude or something," (Y/N) said, laughing at her joke, which received an awkward forced laugh from Peter.

"You caught me, I'm sneaking off, but I don't have a girlfriend."

"Really?" (Y/N) responded, genuinely surprised.

"Yes really, why is that so shocking?" Peter questioned, secretly hoping (Y/N) didn't have to turn down a hallway to get to her next class soon.

"I didn't think you swung that way," (Y/N) replied, Peter turning embarrassingly red.

"I'm not gay I swear, Ned's my best friend that's it!"

"Woah there, didn't mean to touch a nerve," (Y/N) taunted slightly smirking, "Anyways, c'mon dude, you're pretty much at the top of every class, and I wouldn't be surprised if at least one person found you cute or something, hopefully a girl for your sake," she said breaking into a grin at her humor.

Peter blushed when she said someone could find him cute, but calmed himself down.

"No, still no girlfriend, but there is one girl I've got my eye on," Peter said, mind wandering to Liz.

"Ooooooooh, spill," (Y/N) said, elbowing him in the ribs.

"D-don't you think that's kind of personal? I mean no offense but I barely know you," Peter said, clutching his backpack straps, leaning away from (Y/N)'s elbowing with a red face.

"Isn't that the point of strangers, we spill our secrets to them because they can't mock us since they'll never see us again," (Y/N) replied, eyebrows raised.

"Maybe, but I'm seeing you again, today, exactly."

"Fair point," (Y/N) said, retreating.

They walked a few more feet in a comfortable silence for (Y/N), but an awkward one for Peter.

"What class you heading to?" Peter asked, attempting to fill the silence of the empty hallways, save for their footsteps.

"Honors chem, but I might drop it.  Not willingly, of course.  My Spanish grade is making my parents think I should take regular classes until I'm back on track," (Y/N) answered shrugging.

"How bad is it anyway, to know what I'm getting myself into?"

"D+, 68% exactly.  I studied so hard for that test, I don't even know what I did wrong," (Y/N) responded, retracting into herself and frowning at the floor.

"Sorry, didn't mean to upset you," Peter said with concern.

(Y/N) sighed, "It's fine, I had to bring it up eventually.  Anyways, sorry to cut this short but Mrs. Hahn's room is this way," she said pointing up the staircase.

"Alright, my class is down that hall over there.  See you later, right?"

"Yeah, nice talking to you Peter," (Y/N) said smiling sweetly.

"You too," Peter said, waving before watching (Y/N) flip up her hood and begin walking up the stairs and then he walked his own way.  (Y/N) smiled to herself as she walked up that stairs, very content with herself for holding a pleasant conversation for that long with Peter.  Peter himself now couldn't wait for the end of the day more than usual, unable to wipe the grin from his face.

"What's got you so happy?" Ned asked, leaning forward on his elbows.

"What do you mean?" Peter answering Ned's question with a question.

"You haven't mentioned Liz's haircut all lunch, what're you thinking about?"

"Apparently I'm tutoring some girl from my Spanish class after school," Peter said casually.

"A girl!  Peter you ladies man!" Ned exclaimed, slapping Peter on the back, "give me details!"

"It's nothing big, she's got a D+ in Spanish and Aunt May told my teacher I'd be more useful tutoring than running around for uh-" Peter glanced around, "for the 'Stark internship.'"

"What's her name?  What's she look like?  How'd it happen?  Have you guys talked yet? Is she cute?"

Peter blushed at Ned's last question and shrugged him off.

"Her name is (Y/N) and Profe introduced us to each other and then we walked to class."

"Oh my GOD she's cute, isn't she?  (Y/N)?  (Y/N) who?  Has she said anything to you yet?  What kind of girl is she, like a nerd, athlete, goth, skater, emo?"

"Ned I would love to answer your questions but all I know is that her name is (Y/N) and we had a nice conversation on our way to our next classes."

"Gimme the rundown, what was the conversation about?"

"Well, I think it started with her apologizing for being a burden and 'taking me away from my secret girlfriend.'  Then I guess she complimented me?  And then it was a bi-"

"Wait, what?  Dude, did she ask you if you had a girlfriend?"

"Well, not directly, she was-"

"Did she?!"

"I guess kind of?"

"Dude!  She totally likes you!"

"Ned please, that's- that's not true."

"She was trying to see if you were available!"

"No, no way."

"He's right," Michelle spoke up from down the table.

The boys snapped their heads towards the unexpected input.

"This- this is a private conversation!" Peter sputtered.

"I know," Michelle stated before picking up her tray and walking to throw away her trash.

"Duuuuuuuuude," Ned said, eyes wide and smiling from ear to ear.

Peter rolled his eyes, nonchalantly checking his watch every two minutes.

When the bell rang at the end of the day Peter all but walked to the library, only to find (Y/N) already standing outside the doors, pass in hand, looking in the glass walls.  She heard Peter's footsteps and turned around, face visibly brightening at the sight of Peter.

"Hey, I thought it'd be best to go in together," (Y/N) said smiling.

"Yeah, good thinking," Peter replied, with the same smile on his face as well.

The duo walked into the library, handing the lady working the desk their passes to be in the library after school hours. She signed them and sent them to a "study room" which was really just a table in between three bookshelves to create makeshift walls.

"So, what do you need the most help with?" Peter asked, setting his bag down in a chair before sitting in the one next to it.

"Everything," (Y/N) sighed, before sitting in the chair next to Peter and pulling it closer to him while hooking her backpack strap over the back of her chair.

Peter tensed when she moved her chair, Ned's words from lunch echoed in his ears as he told himself Ned was wrong.

"Could- could I look at your test from today?" Peter asked, his voice an octave higher.

"Yeah sure," (Y/N) replied, pulling the slightly dog-eared packet out of her backpack.

(Y/N) handed the test to Peter, and he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with how much (Y/N) didn't understand.  She'd missed nearly every question, but some of it was just unfair grading, like she'd missed an entire question for having an unnecessary accent.

"I'm not stupid," (Y/N) said from her chair, peering over the edge of the paper reading Peter's reaction, "Just so you know."

Peter immediately put down the paper, "No, no, I didn't say I think you are!"

"I know, but I got a 31% on this test, you're bound to think I'm a little... slow, I guess."

"You're not slow, it just seems- do you pay attention in class?" Peter asked, afraid she'd take offense to his question.

"I mean I try," (Y/N) said, shaking her head, "but Profe talks so fast and mostly in Spanish and everything just goes over my head."

"So you have issues understanding the words?"

"I guess so..."

"Well, let's start there then.  We'll start with you learning the vocabulary, and then how to construct sentences.  They won't have to be correct and all in Spanish, but it will help you start to understand how to use the words and article adjectives and the conjugation and stuff."

"Alright, okay.  You sure this doesn't make me sound dumb?"

"I'm sure, besides, it's okay to be smart in most classes but not understand other classes."

"Psssh, says you, Mr. Perfect!" (Y/N) snickered, lightly pushing Peter's arm.

Thoughts ran through Peter's mind, is (Y/N) flirting?  She just called me perfect...  She's still laughing.... (Y/N) has a nice laugh... Peter cleared his mind and laughed along with her.

"Hey, I'm not perfect, I mess up on things, big things," Peter said, remembering heroic acts gone wrong he'd done.

"Like what?" (Y/N) was staring at Peter, sincerely interested in what he'd thought he'd messed up on.

"Aren't you supposed to be studying?" Peter asked, wanting to divert the conversation.

"Aren't you supposed to be tutoring me?" (Y/N) replied, smirking before letting out a hearty laugh.

It was just a simple laugh, but that didn't stop Peter's breath from catching in his throat and his cheeks to turn a shade redder. His grin doubled in size as he pulled his binder out of his backpack ready to begin.

"Touché," he said, unclipping his vocab packet from the binder rings, "Alright, I'm just going to go down the list and see what you already know. If you don't know it, we'll highlight it, okay?"

"Yep, sounds good," her smile faltered for a moment before continuing, "But y'know I'm not very good at it."

"That's alright, you have to start somewhere. Ready?"

(Y/N) gave a weak smile, "Ready."

"Okay, aburir," Peter said.

"Uh- to bore."

"Correct!"

"I only remember it because when we went over the definitions I said 'me.'"

"Doesn't matter, still correct. Aprender."

"To learn."

"Asistir."

"To assist?"

"Kind of? That's a translation but the one we're using in class is to attend."

"That's so misleading."

"Yeah, I guess. Okay, asistir is highlighted. What about bucear?"

"No clue."

"To scuba dive."

"When- when would I ever use that?" She asked in pure confusion.

"Obviously when you're going scuba diving."

The sentence wasn't meant to be a joke, but it wasn't to make fun of (Y/N) either. Neither of it mattered, because (Y/N) giggled at it anyway. Peter's hands fidgeted and then he kept going down the list of verbs. Moments turned to minutes which turned to hours and before they knew it two and a half hours had gone by and (Y/N) and Peter were still working. They had moved on from translations and moved to conjugation, which Peter found (Y/N) completely understood and was even quicker at conjugations than he was. Now Peter was asking (Y/N) questions in Spanish and (Y/N) was replying in complete sentences using as little English words as possible.

"Okay okay, quién es tu tutor de español?" (Okay, okay, who is your Spanish tutor?)

(Y/N) smiled, "Tu, Peter es mi tutor de español." (You, Peter is my Spanish tutor)

"Muy bueno, qué color es la camiseta de tu?" (Very good, what color is your shirt?)

"Uh- colors colors colors... la camiseta de mi es... the feminine form of red?" (Uh- colors colors colors... my shirt is... the feminine form of red?)

"It starts with an r," Peter hinted.

"Rrrrrr-red?" (Y/N) said, giving him a lopsided smile.

Peter laughed, "R-O."

"Roja!  I knew that!"

"Good job," Peter snickered.

The pair had become very comfortable with one another in the past hours, not afraid to crack a joke or say something dumb. Peter's confidence was growing, as was (Y/N)'s. However, Peter took notice that (Y/N) laughed at all his jokes no matter how dumb, and again Ned's words echoed through his head. Peter was starting to get this major crush on (Y/N), but he didn't know if she felt the same.

"What are you staring at, Peter?" (Y/N) asked, noticing he'd been looking at her a while.

"S-sorry, you just have an eyelash," he lied.

"Oh, where?" She asked, rubbing her fingers under her eyes.

"Here let- let me get it," Peter said, a faint blush on his cheeks as he leaned forward and cupped your cheek as he ran his thumb under your eye.

He pretended to brush it on the ground removing his hand from your face before murmuring, "Got it."

"Thanks, Peter," you smiled at him, cheeks the faintest shade of pink.

"So- uh- more questions then?" Peter squeaked.

"Yeah."

"Quien te gusta?" (Who do you like?)

(Y/N) hesitated a moment before answering, "Me gustan mi familia y my amiga mejor." (I like my family and my best friend)

"Quien te encanta?" (Who do you like (romanically)?)

Peter held his breath.  (Y/N) looked at Peter in his eyes, unable to read his expression.

"Me- me encantan mi familia y mis amigos." (I- I love my family and friends)

"No tienes un novio o una novia?" (You don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend?)

"N-no, no lo tengo." (N-no, I don't have one)

(Y/N)'s heart was beating rapidly and Peter was taking shaky breaths.

"Quieres un novio?" (Do you want a boyfriend?)

"Lo depen- depende." (It depen- depends)

"Quieres a mi estoy te novio?" (Do you want me to be your boyfriend?)

Peter bit his lips with the sudden rush of anxiety.  (Y/N) just stared at him, increasing the feeling of knots in his stomach.  After what seemed like an eternity of the two just staring at each other, (Y/N)'s voice, soft and barely a whisper, made itself clear.

"S-sí."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," (Y/N) began nodding her head quickly while grinning ear to ear.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh okay, um, when are you free? I'm pretty busy myself, but I'm sure I can clear some stuff. Not that I'm trying to make it sound like you don't deserve my time, because you totally do, I just, with all these AP and honors classes I'm pretty booked, not to mention my internship, which is draining as well, but-"

"I'm free Friday, if that works for you. Pick me up at seven? There's this new spy movie I wanna go see, if that works for you," (Y/N) interrupted.

"Yes, yes that- that works out perfectly, yes."

"Great," (Y/N) smiled, picking up her stuff.

"Well, I was supposed to leave an hour ago but if I tell my mom the tutoring ran late I won't be in any trouble. See you tomorrow, Peter."

"Yeah, see you," Peter replied, giving a small wave.

He watched her as she walked out the doors of the library, then the doors of the school which we across the hall before returning to his own stuff and picking it up. He couldn't believe it. He had a date with the cute girl from his Spanish class!

[featherypromises]

Seokjin wasn't going to come out of this unscathed. Featuring sickie Namjoon, a smidgen of Jungkook, and Seokjin. Caretaking with Hoseok, Yoongi, and Seokjin. Minor mess warning!

For the prequel, click the link below.

Do as I say, not as I do (2):

A good hyung

Seokjin woke up. Not in his bed; laying down, but sitting in a rolling desk chair with his upper body stretched out face-down on top of Namjoon's comforter. He must have fallen asleep after putting Joonah to bed. 

The leader of BTS was still fast asleep. His mouth hung open, allowing quiet, congested snores to escape. He was also blissfully unaware of his audience of one. 

Remembering why he had been in the room in the first place, the older man reached over to gently place the back of his hand against Namjoon's forehead. The sleeping boy was still a bit warm, but definitely not as bad as he had been last night. The oldest member sighed tiredly and stretched. His back ached from the awkward way he had slept, but as long as Joon was okay, it was worth it. 

Getting up quietly to avoid waking his dongsaeng, the taller man left the room, closing the door behind him. He could hear voices and commotion downstairs, so the others were probably up. He tried in vain to flatten and smooth his flyaway hair as he headed towards the kitchen. 

Hobi was in the kitchen, preparing vegetables and chattering away at Yoongi, who, in his hyung's absence had started breakfast… Or lunch? Was it really 11:30 already? 

The maknae line was in a row on the sofa, looking like living representations of "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" and they were oblivious to how cute it looked. Tae was holding the sides of his head, being aegyo. He had just trounced Jimin thoroughly in a video game and the defeated Jimin was covering his eyes in utter disbelief at the upset of his victory. Poor Kookie, looking only half-awake, held a tissue over his nose and mouth with both hands, blowing his much abused nose softly. Seokjin watched them, entertained, as the younger members teased each other and squabbled amongst themselves.

The oldest rapper turned to place the cooking pot into the sink and saw his hyung and what he was looking at. Immediately, Yoongi poked Hoseok and jerked his thumb towards the young vocalists. They shared a smile before turning to Seokjin. 

"Morning Hyung!" Said Hobi brightly.

"Barely…" Yoongi added, "Where's Joonah?"

"Sick…" admitted the older man with a sigh, "I think he caught it from Kookie, but… well, you know Namjoonah never does anything halfway."

Yoongi muttered a curse, 

"Aiisssh, that kid! Seriously…If he would just slow down for a minute…" Hoseok quieted his friend by placing a kindly hand on his arm and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Is he doing okay? How can we help? 

Seokjin smiled at the dance leader and shook his head, 

"I gotta handle this one, Hobiyah. It's not bad enough for him to go to the hospital, but he had a fever last night and this morning. I stayed with him overnight to make sure he would be alright." The oldest member rubbed his sore neck and looked at the counter in front of him rather than meet the eyes of either of the younger men. 

Hobi sucked in a breath through his teeth, making a disapproving cluck,

"Hyung! I could have stayed with him, or Yoongi,... You realize you are probably going to get it too now right?" 

Min Yoongi put two and two together in his head and swore again,

"Damnit Hyung! You are just as bad as Joonie! You catch everything these punks bring in here!" He pointed at the three youngest on the couch, drawing their attention. He continued,

"How long did you lecture Namjoon on his health yesterday, or today? I know you did! Don't shake your head at me hyung. You should apply some of your "wisdom" to your own life! Any of us, except maybe Jimin, (the exception to this statement objected with a loud "Yaaah!" and was ignored) would have had a better chance of not catching this than you. It's a miracle that you didn't catch it from Jungkookie!" Yoongi glared at the taller man, who glanced up when the rapper paused for breath.

"I know. It was dumb, but I couldn't just stand by and watch. He hid how sick he was until I found him out and demanded that he take today off. I know I'm going to get it, if I don't have it already, Yoongiyah. But Joon wasn't going to rest or tell anyone, because he felt that would be wrong for a leader to do that when we were all working so hard." Seokjin could feel the youngest three members' eyes on him and he turned towards them,

" You three need to stay away from Namjoon's room for at least a few days. This bug is a lot worse than what Kookie had..." Jungkook blew his nose again, and Seokjin corrected himself, "well, has… This isn't personal, it's being sure that we all don't end up getting sick. Okay?" The young trio nodded, and Seokjin continued, "I'll be with Joon until his fever's gone, but after that, if I start feeling even a little bit sick, I will be in my room, so steer clear until I let you know it's okay to go in again." 

He got more nods, and "Yes, Hyung"s from the maknaes. The eldest member turned back to Hoseok and Yoongi, who was still glowering at him.

"I'm going to need a few things: tissues, cough sweets, cold medicine that fix congestion and coughing, and some of the juices from the refrigerator. Food will be harder to figure out… Yoongiyah, Can you take the soup I froze last week out? Joon can eat that for a while. If I only come to the kitchen to heat up the food and we sanitize well, we should be able to reduce the chances that anyone else gets this."

Hobi began collecting the requested items as he spoke, leaving his hyungs to sort out the rest. Min Yoongi put his pointer finger up in a warning gesture,

"Hyung, you are going to tell me when you start to feel even a little off… I will bring food to you and to Joon. We really can't afford to have another member get sick or the recording next week is going to be delayed." Seokjin nodded reluctantly. He hated being fussed over, but the rapper was right. 

"I will." The oldest hyung gathered up the supplies and returned to Namjoon's bedroom. The door creaked a bit as he opened it, announcing his reentry. Namjoon groaned as he turned over and opened his eyes slowly. Putting the care items down on the desk, the older boy went over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey Jooniyah, how are you feeling?" 

The younger man looked up at his hyung blearily,

"Dot good, Hyug. I'b so stuffed ub, I cadt breathe." Seokjin cringed as the younger man coughed harshly into his hands. His body shook with the effort and the struggle to stop the coughs seemed to drain the little energy the rapper had. 

"Let's get some medicine in you, Joonah." The older man helped him sit up against the pillows and measured out the red, gloppy medicine. Handing the tiny cup to Namjoon, Seokjin opened a berry-flavored juice and set it beside the sick man on his nightstand. The leader swallowed the stuff with a grimace and immediately chased it with a big gulp of juice. He licked his lips reflexively and winced. They were so badly chapped that the bottom lip was bleeding slightly. 

"Are the others okay?" asked the not-so-off-duty leader,  as he pulled a tube of lip balm out from under the pile of books on his nightstand and applied it generously.

"Worried about you, but fine otherwise." The older man replied honestly. Namjoon dropped his gaze to his lap and his fingers began toying with the bottle lid. Seokjin sighed,

" They would have found out sooner or later… besides they have to let the managers know that you are not well enough for the photoshoot tomorrow."

That made the leader look up sharply. When he started to protest, Seokjin held up his hand,

"Even if you feel 100% better tomorrow, you might still pass this on to the others. Nobody wants that, Jooniyah." 

The rapline's maknae looked like he still had objections for a moment, but his body had other ideas.

"Hh...Hiih-Hxxgt! Hhxxntch! Hiiphissh! Hektshuh!! Hhh...huhhh…ugh."

As the sneezes ripped their way out of the younger man's nose and throat, he struggled to squash them into his elbow as Seokjin watched helplessly. The oldest member grabbed the tissue box, pulled out a few and handed them to his Dongsaeng. Namjoon hitched for a moment more before groaning in frustration, as the last sneeze eluded him. He took the tissues and blew his nose cautiously, not wanting to trigger another fit. The sound made Seokjin's hair stand on end and he shuddered. It sounded similar to someone popping small bubbles on bubble wrap as the viscous liquid was forced out little by little.

"Poor Joonie… I'm sorry you are feeling so bad." The older man smoothed Namjoon's hair away from his forehead, checking for a fever. The findings gave Seokjin a little comfort. Joon might still be under the weather, but the fever was gone. The vocalist cleared his throat, as he quickly removed his hand, trying to regain his composure and hide his relief. This small action had an unexpected consequence, however. The ailing rapper looked at his hyung with confusion, which quickly evolved into anxious concern, then a guilt-induced panic:

"Hyug, you're dnot… Oh no, did I ged you sig?!? Shit! I'b so stupid! How could I have let you do all those things for be yesterday?!? I shouldn't have let you dnear be! And you were here all last dnight too? I'b so sorry, hyug!" 

Seokjin's utter shock at this sudden reaction, shaped his mouth into a small dumbfounded "o". Recovering himself, he tried to calm the unwell man, who was still berating himself with a thoroughness that showed that this was not the first time that he had thought these insults at himself. 

"Joonah! JOON! STOP! Just stop it now! You are not stupid at all! Never say anything like that again! If I get this cold, so what? I've had colds before. It's my job to look after myself, and if I don't, then the consequences are my fault. Mine. Not yours." Seokjin drew the anxiously trembling man to him, embracing him tightly, " I took my vitamins and got plenty of sleep, so that should give me a fighting chance. Yoongi said it was weird that I hadn't already caught this from Jungkook, maybe I'm building up some resistance." 

The older man felt the other man's congested breathing calm as he held him. Seokjin released the slightly smaller man slowly, guiding him back to lean against the pillows again. 

"You don't have to worry about anything except feeling better, okay?" The vocalist ruffled Namjoon's hair gently. The younger man nodded slowly, then blushed as his stomach grumbled its impatience for food loudly. Seokjin laughed,

"Sounds like you're hungry! I'll check with Yoongi and see if lunch is ready." A few text messages and minutes later, Min Yoongi entered carrying two bowls of chicken and vegetable soup.

"Seokjin-hyung said you weren't feeling well, so your hyungs thought soup would help you get better faster. Hoseokie will come check on you later." Yoongi held out one bowl to the younger rapper and gave the other to Seokjin. The normally taciturn man seemed to struggle for a moment before saying, 

"You worried us, Joonah… Next time you aren't 100%, just tell us. We won't think badly of you for something you can't control." 

Namjoon responded with a sheepish smile,

"I will, Yoongi-hyung… sorry."

Min Yoongi brushed the apology away with a flap of his hand,

"Quit with your sorries and eat before it gets cold." Namjoon obeyed and ate with obvious enjoyment. Seokjin would have been content just to watch the younger man eat. He was happiest when he could cook good food for the other members, but at the moment he had more pressing issues. An alarm bell was going off in his head, signaling him to do something about a tickle that was growing in the back of his nose. He fought for control as his nose twitched and scrunched with irritation. He had only a few seconds to act. He stood abruptly,

 "HH- I'm going to use the-hhh bathroom. I-I'll be back." He left quickly, his breath already hitching. He dashed down the hall, out of earshot and sneezed desperately,

"Heh-hephBrrrsshuh! Ahh-Brreshooo!" The sneezes bent him at the waist, forcing him to try to catch them in his cupped hands. His eyes stung as his sinuses burned and his nose wasn't through with him yet, "Hhh-H'Ressshuh! Ah-GRSShooo! BRESSHUH!" 

Seokjin's hands were covered in a mess of liquid and his face twisted in disgust. He sniffled fruitlessly and turned into the bathroom, leaning his back against the door until it closed behind him. He used his elbows to turn on the faucet and scrubbed his hands until they were bright pink. He sniffled again, trying to prevent the fluid from running over his upper lip. 

The cold had finally caught up with him as Hoseok and Yoongi had said it would. He wasn't congested like Joonie was yet, but Seokjin knew it was only a matter of hours. He was just glad he had been able to leave before Yoongi, or worse, Namjoon had seen or heard that fit. The normally quiet Yoongi would have dragged his hyung by his ear back to the vocalist's bedroom and superglued the taller man to his bed. A small smile played across Seokjin's face at the mental image that accompanied that thought. But that picture was quickly warped until he could only see Joonah's panic-stricken face and hear the younger man verbally beating himself to a pulp over Seokjin getting sick. With a herculean effort, the oldest member pushed the gut-wrenching nightmare image away and splashed water onto his face to help clear his head. He would have to keep this development from Joon. If he didn't, the younger man would just make himself sicker worrying about things that he couldn't fix or change.

The vocalist dried his face and hands before grabbing some tissues and blowing his nose. The man knew how pointless blowing his nose was at this point. It was like kicking at a wave rolling onto the shore: you couldn't stop it, but trying made him feel like he wasn't giving in to the illness yet. He shoved extra tissues into his pocket, just in case.

Steeling himself, he returned to the youngest rapper's bedroom. Yoongi gave him a suspicious look as he entered, but said nothing. Instead the younger man put his pointer finger close to his lips in a pantomime of "Shush". Seokjin relaxed as he saw that their leader was asleep again, his bedspread lovingly tucked in around him and a box of tissues within easy reach. 

Silently the older men collected the bowls, flatware, and empty bottle of juice and left the room like shadows, closing the door behind them. They moved down the hall towards the stairs, when Seokjin felt a tap on his shoulder from behind. When he turned to see what the rapper needed, the older man was instantly subjected to a long, deft finger poking him in the nose. Seokjin stumbled back and gasped as his now sensitized nose objected, and launched him into an itchy flurry of sneezes.

"Wh-what the Hehhhl! H-Heh-Hahrresshoo! HehGrresshhoo!! Hat'shuuh! Ghessshoo! Heh-HAH-HEKT'SHOOO!!! ASH-CHOO!!!"

Unable to cover with full hands, Seokjin sneezed openly, twisting away from the younger man. At the end of the fit, the older man was a sniffling, drippy wreck. He wiped his runny nose on the forearm of his sleeve. Through teary eyes, he saw Yoongi glaring at him, arms crossed; the dishes he'd been carrying on the floor, forgotten.

Defeated, the older man made a face at the younger man before continuing down the stairs with the dishes. He put them into the sink and used a paper towel to clean himself up, as Yoongi caught up with him. The rapper deposited the remaining dishes into the sink and said,

"I could hear you from down the hall."

Seokjin went white as a sheet. Had Namjoon heard too? The shorter man shook his head, in response to the unasked question.

"Joon was too busy to hear… his nose was causing him problems too. He was so tired after that much sneezing that he almost fell asleep sitting up." 

The singer sighed in relief. He nodded and turned to head upstairs to get some rest himself. It would be a long couple of days. Passing Yoongi, he rested one large hand on the smaller man's shoulder.

"Don't tell him… Joonie would just be upset."

"Fine, but you have to promise me, Hyung, that you will text either me or Hobi if you need anything or if you start feeling really bad. Any sign of fever or…anything…" Yoongi didn't meet his hyung's eyes, but Seokjin knew that was just the rapper trying to hide his concern. Six years of friendship had given the oldest member at least that much insight into Min Yoongi's mind. He smiled at the younger man, 

"I promise, Yoongiyah." His tender moment with the younger member was interrupted by another sneeze. This time he was able to fish a tissue from his pocket to catch it. 

"Huh-HUH-HEH-GHSSSHH!" The younger man rolled his eyes at his hyung,

"Yeah-yeah, let's get you back upstairs. I'll check on Joonie once you are settled and I'll have Hoseokie check on you later."

The oldest member snuffled into the tissue and nodded, following the smaller man up the stairs and into his bedroom. Seokjin wasn't really surprised when the rapper turned down the bed coverlet and sheets or when he pulled the shades on the windows to darken the room for sleep. What surprised him was that once he had laid down, Yoongi with practiced hands began to tuck him in, in the same way he had obviously done for Namjoon, not long ago. Seokjin hadn't experienced this in years, it felt strangely comforting. 

"Sleep well, Hyung. I will bring you some medicine in a few minutes." The older man smiled at the rapper, showing a mixture of pride and gratitude, and said just loud enough for Yoongi to hear as he turned to leave,

"You are a good hyung, Yoongiyah."

"You too."

[grace-is-forever]

Sleepless nights part 2

Who knew that after a few months of Jeremy staying at my house I'd start develope feeling for him. Sure, he'd be really flirtatious but thats just Jeremy.

"You know he likes you right?" Michael whispered beside me. School had just recently started back up due to the weather. So much snow! "No he doesn't. Thats just his personality." I scoffed at him. I really wish he did though.

I turned and exited the conversation slowly when i tripped and fell. "OWW!" I yelled. I landed on my knee. It didnt help that my right knee was already messed up. Now I'll be back in the stupid brace for weeks.

Time passes and its time for theater. Weird, Jeremy wasnt there. Oh well.

"Art thou gone so? love, lord, ay, husband, friend!

I must hear from thee every day in the hour,

For in a minute there are many days:

O, by this count I shall be much in years

Ere I again behold my Romeo!"

I read aloud. I know Romeo and Juliet. Typical high school play. I was cast as the role of juliet and to no surprise Jeremy was Romeo. It felt almost unnerving to be his love Interest. I went home an hour later, after staying to practice. When i got home i confonted Jeremy. "Hey, why werent you at school?" I asked. School is always boring without him. "I just needed to think, but the real question i have is why are you limping?" Confuson plastered on his face. Being completely honest i forgot about my knee sure it hurts but i didnt realize i had a limp. "i fell before history." The worst class so my pain didnt make it any better. "Youve always been extremely clumsy." He stated as got up to grab my brace off my dresser. "And to honest." He paused. "Its kinda cute. A blush apparent on his face and probably mine to. "I wish i wasnt. It'd be nice to go out without some kind of injury." He helped me put on my brace and helped me up. The familiar feeling coming back to me. We stayed at home rehearsing our lines for the rest of the day. The next day at school Jeremy stayed really close to me to watch over my knee. As the classes passed theater came and today was the iconic balcony kiss. I really wish i wasn't so nervous about it. "Dont worry Y/N, its just a kiss." I thought to myself. "With someone you really like, maybe even love." My hands started shaking and breathing became difficult. My vision stared to fade and i ran out of the room before blacking out completely. Y/N? Are you okay? I heard someone ask. Slowly everything came back into my vision. "What happened?" I asked slowly. Jeremy was infront of me and began explaing that I blacked out. I started crying after that. "Im an idiot." i said between sobs. Letting myself freak out about something that will never happen. "I'm sorry, tell everyone I'm not feeling good and that I'm going home. I gave him a goodbye hug and ran out of the building. I ran faster than i ever have. I unlocked my door and threw myself on the bed and sobbed until nightfall. Jeremy woke me up thr next morning early. "Lets get some coffee before school." I agreed to it. Got dressed, brushed my teeth, and said put on my knee brace. We got to the school and i brought jeremy to the theater so we could practice since we both got a free period.

"Romeo, Romeo, where fort art thou Romeo?

I questioned and we continued practice the kiss was about to happen and i got my self mentally prepared.

We leaned in and our lips met. It felt as electricity was flowing through us. We pulled apart and he forgot his lines after that.

"Im sorry, but I've wanted to do that ever since i met you in the park a few months ago and you let me stay with you."

I kissed him again. This one was more drawn out and more passionate. "Jeremy i've had the biggest crush on you since 7th grade. I love everything about you. One more kiss was shared then we parted was to go to class. I couldnt really focus all i could do was think of was the kiss. Yhe class passes and its time for the one of the last practices before our performance. Onve again the kiss happened and in the background i could hear Mr. Reyes awwing. "That was really good you guys. I could feel the emotions you showed. Really impressive! We thanked him and began walking home considering drama was our last class. We walked through the park that we officially met at. We sat at the swings talking. A few hours passed and it was soon getting dark. I looked down at my phone, 10:17. "I think we should head back to the house its getting late. He nodded and we began to walk back. We decided to stay up watching movies on the couch. 3 movies passed and i looked over and jeremy was asleep. So peaceful and fragile. I kissed him on the cheek before heading off to bed. As an hour past i found myself restless. Sleep was something that wasn't in my vocabulary. I got up and headed out for my normal spot. The park. Since no one was out i took is an opertunity to let some emotions out the only way i knew how to. Drawing. I grabbed my sketchbook and began drawing the surrounding areas along with a little personal touch. Two people sharing a kiss by the tree. "I knew I'd find you out here." I jumped out of my thoughts and quickly closed my book. "Oh hey Jer." I said. "You should be asleep, go back inside." I told him. "So should you." He replied back. He held out his hand which i accepted. He led me back to the house and i got in bed putting sketchbook on the dresser next to the bed, and fell asleep. Jeremy was still getting ready for bed and took a look through my journal and saw the sketch i did earlier. He was in awe of the drawing. He couldnt take it anymore. He woke me up and before i could question his lips were on mine. He kissed me with as much passion he could muster up. We pulled apart and finally spoke. "I saw the drawing. I looked, i shouldn't have but i did." I shot up immediately after. I grabbed my skethchbook and held it tight. "Not cool Jer!" I whined. "Is that the only thing you saw?" I asked giving up any secrets i had. "Yeah thats all i saw. Is there more?" He asked. I nodded and found a page at the back of the book and read it to him.

"As life progresses, I'm bound to make mistakes, to see hard times. Every low comes with a high. Somewhere in the future i'll see what I can truly be. I may be scared and a little doubtful, but in the long run I know I'll be ok.

I knew that when i met you i knew who i was. Everything was clear. I wasnt scared of anything else but losing you. I see nothing but hope now that i have you. I love you more than anything."

He hugged me right after listening to that. "Do you really feel that way." I nodded and grabbed his hands. "I always have." I leaned over and kissed him again. "Promise me you won't look through my stuff anymore?" I asked him. "I promise but you should teach me how to draw cause youre incredibly talented." I smiled at him and layed back down. "Good night Jeremy. I love you." I told him before falling asleep. "Good night Y/N, i love you too. He replied pulling me against him. He pressed one last kiss to my forehead before he fell asleep.

After a day full of confessions and love. It was anything but a sleepless night.

This is the brace I had. I don't know where I put it. Every other brace I have is horrible compared to this one.

@broke-ass-potterhead I hope you enjoy! 💙