#I've been going to bed at 3am recently‚ but I need to wake up at 5 to drive home so I need to be asleep right the fuck now

[mobydyke]

having a popular tumblr post is actually good for the psyche because it teaches you how to not argue every little thing in your life. it teaches you how to relinquish control over how other people perceive you. and mostly it teaches you how to say "well that person's fucking wrong" and then ignore it and walk away

[mariacrow]

Hi! Can I request bayverse bumblebee celebrating reader's birthday? Just really fluffy unlimited attention that they haven't gotten from anyone else in years 🙏 I ask cuz it was my birthday recently and I've been feeling pretty down about everything 😔 Thanks! ❤️

Sweetheart, I know exactly how you feel. I am so sorry to hear this… I know I made a schedule for the requests but I need to write this first! 💛

I hope you enjoy honey and happy birthday! 🥳🐝

❁ Bumblebee x reader ❁

2nd person

angst and fluff

female reader

takes place after Transformers: The Last Knight

takes place in the reader’s backyard and garage

bad mood on your birthday, comfort, gifts

Bumblebee was so excited for your birthday. He could barely go into stasis the previous night. He spent the whole night in the garage, making you a gift. Being the clumsy bot he is, he was making a lot of noise and a lot of mess despite being as careful as possible. He was trying his best not to wake you up because then you’d come to check on him and the surprise would be ruined.

Unfortunately, around 3am, he knocked down A WHOLE ASS SHELF in your garage. The tall metal structure banged on the floor and made the whole house shake. As he started panicking, he was turning around and knocking down more stuff, trying to pick it up along with everything that fell off of it.

Soon he could hear your footsteps approaching. With no room to transform into a car due to all the mess, he was stuck. You opened the garage door and to his surprise, in your sleepy state, you couldn’t see properly due to your blurry sight.

“Bee…? You okay in there…?” you asked while rubbing your eye and yawning. You were so cute with your messy hair and twisted pajamas.

“Mhm mhm!” he buzzed while trying to hide the unfinished gift behind his back along with all the mess.

“Why aren’t you in stasis…?” you were almost sleep walking, you probably won’t remember half of this in the morning.

He looked around in panic and awkwardly shrugged, mimicking what would sound like “I don’t know”

“Mmmrr okay… See you in the morning then, goodnight…” as you went back to bed.

He ex vented in relief as he, now calmly, started putting everything where it belongs.

He only got a couple of hours of stasis when he finished with your birthday present. But it was just enough for him. He woke up happier than ever! He was impatiently walking around your backyard waiting for you to wake up while holding your birthday gift behind his back.

But you were nowhere to be found… You didn’t spread your curtains and happily say good morning like you always do… You didn’t play loud music while doing your morning routine…

He was getting worried. Then he saw you in the kitchen, eating your breakfast as if someone is holding a gun to your head. He bowed and tapped on your backyard door.

You smiled a little and waved at him. He waved back and gestured you should come out. And you did. Dragging your feet and lazily opening the backyard door.

He immediately grabbed you and started spinning you around in his safe grasp while mimicking the tune of the birthday song.

“Bee! Wait- ahh! Hahaha!” you couldn’t help but laugh. He was so joyful.

He brought you closer to his face plate and nuzzled his muzzle against your cheek, as if he was kissing you. You gave him a hug, “Ahh! That tickles!” you giggled.

He then looked at you with wide sparkling optics. But then his expression softened as he noticed you aren’t as excited as you’re supposed to.

“What’s the matter…?” he asked over the radio.

“Nothing, just.. I don’t know. I’m not used to all this… My mood always hits rock bottom when my birthday comes…”

He let out a low, sad buzz as he gently rubbed your back with his digit.

“But— it’s your— special day!”

“I know, Bee… I’m trying to think that way too…”

“Please… Don’t be— sad…”

He made you smile. Your puppy eyes made him melt. Another low buzz rumbled in his chassis as he brought you closer to his face plate again, closing his optics as he snuggled.

“You’re right…” you cupped his precious face, “I should enjoy this day. With you…”

He nodded like a little kid as his optics filled with excitement.

“I made— something— for you.” he said as he finally showed you what he was holding behind his back all along.

It was a bouquet of 5 flowers made out of wires poked in a metal plate and tied from underneath along with a butterfly and a bumblebee. It wasn’t perfect but you could definitely figure what it was.

You gasped and covered your mouth. You were speechless, taking it and carefully holding it.

“Bee… You made this…?” tears almost filled your eyes.

He nodded. He pointed at the butterfly and then at you. He then pointed at the bumblebee and then at himself.

“Oh! I get it! The butterfly is me and the bumblebee is you!” you said happily.

He rapidly nodded again, it seemed as if he was smiling.

“I… I’m speechless! This is the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten!” joy and gratitude was written all over your face. It made his young spark melt.

“Anything— for you— Y/N.”

“So that’s why you were making a mess in the garage last night!” you laughed as you figured.

He rubbed the back of his helm as he innocently shrugged, looking like this: “😅”

“Oh, my dearest Bee- WOAH!”

He suddenly transformed which made you laugh as you found yourself in the driver’s seat of the Chevy with the creative sculpture in your lap (which will proudly stand in your bedroom).

“Now let’s— go get— a birthday cake!”

“Hell yeah!”

He floored it through the garage, again knocking down some stuff, mostly flowerpots.

“BEE!!!” to which he laughed.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Buzzbuzz~” which sounded like “maybe”.

“What do you mean “maybe”? You silly!” you playfully kicked him to which he made you jolt in your seat.

You kept nudging him while laughing as he was making you bounce in the driver’s seat. All that matters to him is your happiness, your smile, your laugh… Your laugh is like music to his audio receptors.

“I love you, Bee… to Cybertron and back!”

“Nooo— I love you— more!”

��Nu-uh! I love YOU more!”

“Nu-uh!” he imitated you.

And you went on and on while enjoying the ride to the local bakery. He really made you feel special, like a princess. You are his princess after all and he wants only the best for you. His spark aches when you’re sad… Especially on a day like this!

Of course he turned on the radio. You sang along and enjoyed the fun ride.

Of course the cake was yellow with sunflowers and bumblebees. He convinced you to buy candles too. Back at home, in the backyard, he prepared a little picnic for you. He placed a blanket on the grass and prepared the cake. He hummed the birthday song’s tune for you again.

“Make a wish darling~” he used a movie quote.

When you blew out the candles he clapped for you and squeezed you in his arms which almost made you lose your breath.

He fed you, played with your hair, nuzzled into your neck, gently swayed you from side to side to the music… He really made you feel like the only person on the planet. A lonely butterfly dancing with a happy bumblebee.

His one and only.

Dividers belong to @patches-1105 , @lostsozai , @cute-sushi-roll 💛

[altruisticenigma]

My doctor two appointments ago hinted I possibly could have ADHD. At my most recent appointment, she suspected strongly that I have ADHD. Now I've been thinking about it nonstop, thinking back to what I thought was innocent/small details that were probably symptoms all along, and it's been on my mind ever since.

I'm 27, and what the fuck- I might have ADHD on top of the host of other mental illnesses I have???

Warning, this is a long one- but as a 27 year old coming to terms with a possible new mental illness I think that's more than acceptable, lol. TW: Mentions of CPTSD/PTSD, depression, anxiety, ADHD and all related symptoms, and mentions of medication.

This began because I needed to be put back on some sort of medication. I was suffering from pretty bad anxiety; it was difficult to function because I would worry constantly about everything big and small. I have CPTSD/PTSD and it was getting in the way of life- I catastrophize & have hypervigilance; I cope by trying to control situations best I can. It's hard to let go of control. What got me in the office was that for the last 6 months, it's been extremely difficult to get out of bed and go to work. It was like I was hitting this invisible wall and I didn't know why. Nearly ever week I'd call out because I felt overwhelmed.

Wellbutrin helped subside a lot of the emotional aspects. A majority of my panic & fear subsided, but some symptoms still lingered. For one, a way that I coped with my anxiety was to constantly assign myself daily tasks: if I could get something done I'd feel better from the serotonin it fed me. I also felt restless if I wasn't doing something productive. I still couldn't sit down and relax; something that other people could do that I couldn't and I didn't know why. The other was that I still had bouts of insomnia; every few weeks like clockwork I'd wake up around 1-3 AM and it'd be hard to go back to sleep. Just last night I woke up at 3AM, hypervigilant as Hell out of nowhere. Most nights I am just very hungry and sit up for a bit before going back to sleep.

While I was mostly more functional and could now go to work with little to no problem, I still was having issues with being calm.

We tried putting me back on Lexapro. Historically it had worked. Instead it made my anxiety worse; it felt like I was back to square 1. Wellbutrin was the only thing that worked, which is a mood stabilizer. At this point I had gone through 3-5 SSRIs/SNRIs and they weren't helping, only the mood stabilizer.

I explained how my anxiety manifests to my PCP. I have the restlessness/need for control through tasks, as well as insomnia, but also the hypervigilance as well as the catastrophizing. I explained to her that I always thought that my fiancé was going to die behind the wheel no matter what they were doing in the car- every single time. I explained that when doing my job, I always anticipated someone yelling at me. These fears had subsided significantly with Wellbutrin, but they were still there nonetheless lingering in the background.

So my main issues were the hypervigilance & catastrophizing, feeling restless/needing control and the issues with sleep.

It was then she made a observation: it was possible I may have ADHD and the things I was doing were a unconscious coping mechanism. For one, I kept failing SSRI/SNRIs. Although it's a given I have a genetic disposition to bipolar in my gene pool (hence why they keep failing), I don't present any active symptoms at the time. According to her they should work to a degree, not adversely. Second, I have a strong genetic disposition to ADHD: we strongly suspect my mom has it, she just isn't formally diagnosed, but my brother is definitely diagnosed and has struggled with it most his life.

Her primary observation was the third: my restless symptoms are presenting as more of the "HD" problem in ADHD: too much energy with nowhere to go. I overwork myself by assigning tasks and overachieving to cope with the energy I have on hand. By doing extra tasks and chores, on one hand it may be a "need for control" aspect but the other may be restlessness I am trying to cope with. She noted that I have the "focus" part down- I'm very organized and able to stay on task, but I struggle with the energy. She noted that with "feminized" brains (lol, I laughed a bit inside when she said this- I'm non-binary but I get what she was saying) it tends to get misdiagnosed or overlooked due to anxiety: girls tend to present very differently than boys with ADHD. TL;DR she was saying sexism was why girls were disproportionally diagnosed to boys, especially at a young age.

This absolutely blew my mind, as you could see.

Ever since I was young I had no problems in school. Overachiever, good grades, laser-beam focused in school. Homework was not a problem. I liked routine, and I liked sticking to it. While my brother really struggled with remembering tasks and keeping to a schedule, I excelled in it.

When I developed PTSD in college I did begin to struggle a lot with focus. It would come and go because my brain was so chaotic; there was constant chatter in there. During the early stages of PTSD I would completely lose focus if I was really stressed out and needed accommodations in school. PTSD made me feel like my brain had been scrambled and I could no longer control it. Despite this I recall in college I had no problem focusing on assignments for hours: I once had a lab to do and I didn't take a break for 4 hours. I used to commend myself on my strong work ethic; this was normal for me from middle school and beyond... But now looking back with a fresh perspective, I realize this could have been ADHD working strangely in my favor.

I have also been organized to a insane degree my entire life, too. Increasingly more in high school, college and beyond. Nowadays I try to remember to do menial tasks by writing in a planner: they may seem unimportant to someone else, but to my brain it's imperative I remember and put it somewhere else on paper so I don't keep dwelling on it/needing to repeat the thought so I remember it, or have it float in my brain. I consider my home tasks so much more important than my work tasks; why, I don't know.

I've also been noticing minor but important details that could've alluded to ADHD but were overshadowed by more pressing mental health issues such as my depression, anxiety and CPTSD/PTSD. With Wellbutrin in my system it's been getting fairly easy to notice small details that I would've waved off in the past, but now with this new perspective and medication are very significant:

I never noticed how chaotic and disorganized my mind-chatter was until I was on Wellbutrin. The moment I started taking Wellbutrin my mind became very calm and quiet, so quiet it surprised me. I also never noticed how slightly incoherent, disorganized and rapid my speech was until I was on Wellbutrin, either. While on this medication, I have found I can form much more organized thoughts and speak slower and clearer. Whether that's panic or ADHD, I have no clue.

At least once a day I will be in the middle of saying/doing something and completely forget what I'm doing. I try to retrace my steps or my conversation to remember, only to have it gone entirely. It'll come back eventually, I just can't get it back in the moment.

According to my fiance, I tend to go down "rabbit holes" in the middle of our conversations (I haven't noticed this at all). I'll be on one topic, divulge into another possibly related topic and come back to where we were. I never thought it was important as at least I come back to the topic on hand. Sometimes I have caught myself completely forgetting what I was talking about.

The whole reason I started Wellbutrin is because I realized that I couldn't "bootstraps" my way out of whatever was happening to me: I realized I had a hard time getting out of bed for work. I attributed it to depression. While Wellbutrin significantly helps with this, in the past week or so I've been hitting this wall again where I don't want to go into work. It's like the task itself is difficult. I see it as a big, huge task that I don't want to bother with, even though realistically I realize that what I do for a living isn't the most difficult job. I thought it was depression, but it might be executive dysfunction.

I have hyperfixations: I will hyperfixate on something that I absolutely get lost in the sauce about for a month or two, and once I drop it I get sad/absolutely bored out of my mind until I find something new. I remember thinking during hyperfixations that I hope that I don't lose this passion because I don't want to be without this feeling of absolute pure joy and passion. Right now I'm very into FFXIV and building my character and their world.

I deleted social media like TikTok, YouTube and other streaming platforms off of my phone because I will scroll for hours and get stuck. I can't move. It's like I'm hypnotized and focused hard on whatever I'm watching. TikTok I deleted mostly because it made me Severely Mentally Ill, but also because I found myself stuck on it for 2-3 hours at a time and unable to take a break. I ended up doing the same thing on YouTube shorts, so I also had to delete that, too.

I vocally stim. A lot. Especially at home where it's safe and only when I feel safe/happy. But I just attribute that to being neurodivergent in general, lol.

I never thought I could've had ADHD because unfortunately I always had the stereotypical picture of ADHD in my head: someone who couldn't focus at all, who struggled with time-management, and someone who got distracted easily. A lot of the focus-related issues. That's what my brother struggled with, so I didn't think twice about me having it. My best friend also had similar symptoms so I had no clue it could present differently among people. As someone who never had struggled with focus, or at least to what I could've noticed consciously, I didn't conceive that I could have ADHD: I thought it was just about struggling with being attentive. Never did I realize I could have a restless/energy issue but be fine in the focus category.

The only way to know for certain what's going on is to see a neuropsychiatrist, which my doctor referred me to. As ADHD is very closely related to all of my already-diagnosed illnesses I know that it is possible it could be just PTSD scrambling my brain or anxiety making things difficult again. It has just been super heavy on my mind how this could be possibly ADHD and I had NO idea, nor did I ever suspect myself of possibly having ADHD once in my life.

Just goes to show you mental health is a fucking doozy of a thing.

[xellandria]

Yesterday, I had my appointment with the new oral surgeon about my wisdom teeth. Unfortunately, it was up in Portland and that's not where I live, so it was kind of a lot: went to bed at around 11pm so I could wake up at ~8:30am so we could leave no later than 10am to get there for an appointment at 2pm.

Anxiety woke me up at 3am and kept me up until about 6:30; got a little bit of an extra nap in and woke up at 8:45 (I'd moved my alarm time back at that point). Got all my usual Thursday chores in and we left around 9:30 to start the 3.5hr drive up, which went fine until we actually got near/into Portland, at which point the fucked up roadways that every major city seems to come with got to us and we started getting lost and rerouted onto tiny back roads and nightmare one-way streets.

The hospital itself was, as I should have expected, not straightforward, and we spent five minutes just looking for a place near the place I was supposed to go to be able to park (there wasn't one). Ended up in a parking garage four buildings over from where I needed to be because of construction, and ended up calling and letting them know I was going to be late. I think we actually made it to the maxillofacial area at like 2:20 or later.

Mom had left her phone (and wallet) in the car so she left to go that at some point, which ended up being a good thing because it turns out that I was fucking lied to over the phone and they didn't end up looking into my mouth ONCE. They did NOT need me to come up there, like, at ALL, and it could ABSOLUTELY have been handled via telehealth. I have not and will not be telling her this, and will stew in my aggravation by myself.

Anyway their ORs are booked out a full year at this point; I'm on a waitlist but will potentially not hear about when this dental problem will be resolved until next August, fifteen months from when my recent emergency dental problem started (: On the plus side at least, if I haven't managed to get my cavity situation fixed by whenever it happens, they'll do that at the same time, so there's that.

Got lost again on the way back out of Portland (plus by then it was rush hour so it was even more nightmarish), stopped at a McDonald's for my first meal of the day (I'd had like 8oz of apple juice to keep my blood sugar up at 9am but that was p much it). That's the first time I've eaten out (and been in public without a mask) since probably mid-December 2019 (my family stopped going out to eat earlier than official lockdown). Thankfully the place was pretty empty so hopefully nothing bad will come of it.

[tomholland1996simp]

I’m just tired || Tom holland

Paring: Dad!Tom

Warnings: Tired reader, Angst kinda

Summary: You and Tom have a daughter who is  2 years old. Tom has been away filming and at night you have been getting no sleep, due to your daughter going sleep too late. One day Harry comes over, to see you looking very tired. He offers to help, however you say that your fine. The story carries on from there ;)

(I know it’s kinda like my ‘I’m sorry mummy’ one but people really liked it so here’s another)

Tom and I have a daughter who is now 2 years old turning 3 soon. Her name is Scarlett and she can be a very adorable, nice girl at some times. However she can have her days where she wants to throw tantrums everywhere and scream and cry all the time. It can be very stressful at times because Tom isn't always here. I know he can't help it due to filming, but I miss him a lot. I don't tell him how stressed and tired i've been lately as he's busy filming in America.

Yeah I know I should ask for help from his parents or brothers, however I wanna try be a good mum to Scarlett and try do it on my own. My best friend, Y/B/F/N, even told me that I need a break and I should ask for help, but I simply can't.

Lately Scarlett has been going bed so late around 1-3am. Her bed time routine has been so bad, so i've been up so late recently. Normally she has a good routine but whenever Tom goes she just messes around as I am what they call the 'soft parent'. I try be the mean one but I feel too bad when I try tell her off.

"Scarlett you need to go sleep, your uncle Harry is coming over tomorrow" I lay her back down. The time was currently 2:45am and she just wasn't going sleep.

"No. I want the phone" She huffs.

"You can watch something on my phone tomorrow-we'll today when you wake up" I place her back in her small bed.

"NOOOO" She runs out the room, so I chase after her. "I DONT WANNA GO BED" She screams and cries throwing some of her toys.

"Stop please bubs. Just go sleep" I was absolutely exhausted at this point. I only had 2 hours sleep last night and I know tonight will be the same.

(Btw she's still young so her words won't be clear so that's why they look like they are spelt wrong)

"Daddy would lwt me stay awke" she stood up crossing her arms.

"No he wouldn't"

"Yes daddy would!" she stomps her foot.

I lost it at this point, "WELL YOUR DADDY ISN'T HERE, I AM! SO YOU DO AS YOUR MUM SAYS AND GO TO BED!!" I shouted, then she runs up the stairs crying. Honestly after I said that I felt bad so so bad. This is why I am the soft parent because I never shout at her but she always listen to Tom. It's like she hates me and me only.

Walking up the stairs, I open her room door to see her crying under her covers. Slowly going over to her, I try pull the covers but she holds them tight. "I'm so sorry princess" I whisper.

"Go away pwease" her little voice choked.

"okay. Goodnight" I whisper walking out the room, crying on the way to mine and Toms shared one.

That night I cried all night long, I must've only got like 1 hour sleep. I woke up early in the morning as well , around 7am. The house needed to be cleaned and I had a lot of things to do. Harry was coming over at 1pm.

"Scarlett come down here, your uncle Harry will be here any minute now" I tiredly shout from the living room. Then I heard loud footsteps running down the stairs. Scarlett still hasn't spoken to me since last night but I understand.

About 10 minutes later there was a knock on the door, so I stood up opening it. Harry stood there with a big smile on his face.

"Hi y/n- oh wow are you okay?" His smile fades as he looks at my face.

"Yeah I'm fine" I shut the door behind him, giving him a side hug.

"You sure? You have big bags under your eyes. Are you even sleeping?" He takes his shoes off.

"Yes just had a rough night that's all" I lied sitting back down on the sofa.

"Uncle Harry!" Scarlett yelled jumping into Harry's arms.

"Heyy Scarlett! wow your getting bigger" He holds her on his hip. I can't lie I was trying so bad not to fall asleep. My arm was on the side with my cheek resting in my palm of my hand.

"Y/N you look really tired. I can take scarlett for a bit. Let you get some r-"

I cut him off, "No it's fine. I'm okay. Anyways how's everyone?...."

A couple hours has past, Harry already left. We just talked about random things and he played with Scarlett. He did keep offering to help, however I denied it. I needed to be independent and do this on my own.

Walking into Scarlett room I smile saying, "Bath time"

"I dwnt want a bawth" She says still playing with her toys.

"Come on smelly. You can bring some of your toys with you" I smile picking her up.

"I wanna play stop!" she starts kicking.

"Scarlett, what's up with this behaviour. Your normally a good girl" It was true, normally she's really good but recently she's been so bad. Maybe it was because she misses her dad, I wasn't sure.

She grabs the bathroom door, I shout "Let go!" I lock the bathroom door after so she couldn't get out.

"AHHHHHH" she screams laying on the floor.

After what felt like hours, she finally went into the bath. It must've been around 9p.m when she got out. She even started a fight when getting out the bath because she didn't want to brush her teeth. Scarlett was now laying on my bed crying with her head in the pillow.

That was until my phone rang and the picture with the contact of 'Tom❤️' came up. He normally FaceTimes whenever he can, even though it's hard with the timings.

"oh look daddy's calling" that's when her head shot up, wiping her tears she grabs my phone answering it.

"Hi ba-oh hey princess" he smiles into the phone. I could just about see him, looking cute as ever. It still hurt. I really miss him and I need him :(

"hi daddy" she smiles whilst sniffing. It makes me sad to know that she's so happy when she speaks to her dad and not me. I wouldn't say Im jealous, well I kinda am. But the feeling of your daughter hating you......makes you feeling like shit.

"What's the matter bubs?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Nwthing. Just hwr" Scarlett showed the camera quickly to me then back to herself.

Wow she just called me 'her'. I thought wiping a tear that fell, making sure they don't see.

"Scarlett she's your mummy, don't say 'her'-"

"Well shwe been mean. She keeps shouting at mw and she's being not fair!" she whines to him.

"Pass the phone to mummy please bubs" He says and she listens. See what I mean she listens to him but not me.

What am I doing so wrong?

I pick up the phone showing my face with a fake smile. "Hi darling" he smiles.

"Hi Tommy, how's filming?" I ask.

"Good, good. How's everything at home?"

"Everything's great." I lied again and Scarlett just glares at me.

"You sure? Harry called me today saying you looked tired. Which I can see by the bags under your eyes"

"Well Harry was wrong. I'm fine, I just had a rough night"

"Daddy when are you coming home?" Scarlett takes the phone with tears falling down her face.

"very soon scar don't cry though bubs" he says.

"Okay daddy"

"Well be good for mummy yeah?"

"Yeah. Goodnightw daddy" She smiles.

"Goodnight princess" He blows a kiss into the phone, then waiting for the phone to be passed back to me but I pressed to end the call. I know I should've spoken to him, told him that i'm tired and I need help. But Tom would probably try give me a lecture of how I should go to his families house.

Tom then sent a message:

Tom❤️- I thought we were gonna talk. You okay, love? xxx

Y/N - yeah just tired

Tom❤️- Oh okay. We'll get some sleep I love you Goodnight xxx

Y/N- Night love you xx

Little did you know Tom was on his way back. He would probably arrive around 2am-3 but he was coming back to surprise you and Scarlett.  

…………………………………….

Yep, for the fourth night in a row Scarlett doesn't want to go sleep. I've been placing her in her bed, I've tried laying with her, however she just won't go sleep without putting up a fight.

"Do you want me to read a book?" I hold a book in my hands showing her it.

She slaps it out of my hands so it hits my face, "No! I'm not twired" She gets up from her bed.

Grabbing her arm softly, I pull her back down on the bed. "Your staying here until you fall asleep"

"No! No,NOOOO!" she runs down the stairs into the front room. This time I chased after her full of anger as I was tired.

"SCARLETT NO TV BED NOW" Grabbing the controller out of her hands.

"IM NOT TIRED!" She screams and cries.

"I DONT CARE. ITS 3 IN THE F-IN THE MORNING. IM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS BEHAVIOUR. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GOOD NICE GIRL! IM TIRED AND ALL IM ASKING IS FOR YOU TO GO SLEEP. YOU LISTEN TO YOUR DAD WHY NOT ME" Tears started falling down my face.

"YOUR THE WORSTW MUMMY EWVER THATS WHY!" she throws one of her toys at the wall.

wow. That hurts.

Before I could say anything else back, the door opened and shut. There stood Tom, with his suitcase and a worried expression. His hair was messy, with a curl falling down his face and after 3months of not seeing him he felt like a ghost. You hadn't seen him in ages.

"hey, hey why's my two favourite girls fighting for at this time" he throws his bag on the floor, then flinging his shoes off.

"D-daddy" Scarlett cried running into her dads arms. Him crouching down and picking her up.

"I'm here bubs. Ahh you got so much bigger since I last saw you. Now why you both shouting" He puts her down, looking at me. I was still crying, tears freely falling down my cheeks.

"I hate mummy!" Scarlett quickly says, causing my heart to break. Tom gave me a sympathetic look before turning to our daughter.

"Scarlett you don't mean that-"

"It's fine. Honestly. I do try Scar. But don't worry your dad is here. So he can put you to bed" I fake smile walking away.

"Darling-" Tom tried to call for me but I had already got into the bedroom slamming the door behind me.

Toms POV

"YOUR THE WORSTW MUMMY EWVER THATS WHY!" I heard Scarlett cry before I entered the house.

As I opened the door, it went silent. There stood my two girls, both crying and angry. Scarlett was sitting on the floor, whilst y/n was standing a bit away from her.

"hey, hey why's my two favourite girls fighting for at this time" I throw my bag on the floor, then fling my shoes off.

"D-daddy" Scarlett cried running into my arms. I then crouch down and pick her up.

"I'm here bubs. Ahh you got so much bigger since I last saw you. Now why you both shouting" I put her down, looking at y/n. Tears were streaming down her face, with bags under her eyes. She looked exhausted but still so beautiful.

"I hate mummy!" Scarlett quickly say, I  gave y/n a sympathetic look before turning to our daughter. I knew y/n must feel heart broke right now and upset.

"Scarlett you don't mean that-" I go to say but get cut off by y/n. "It's fine. Honestly. I do try Scar. But don't worry your dad is here. So he can put you to bed" she fakes smiles walking away.

"Darling-" I tried to call for me but she had already got into the bedroom slamming the door behind her.

"Scarlett you don't say them things. Mummy is probably really upset now. You don't hate mummy do you really?" I kneel down to her holding her tiny hands.

"No. But she was being mean" she cries.

"Mummy is tired. She normally lets you off when you do naughty things, you have to learn sometimes. It's nearly 4am and you should be in bed. You have to listen to mummy when she tells you things okay?" I moved a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Okay" she smiles.

"Come on let's get you to bed" I pick her up.

Y/N POV

Ive been laying in my bed for a few minutes now and as I was about to fall asleep I heard the bedroom door open and close shut. My back was turned towards it but I knew it was Tom.

I heard the draws open, which meant that he was getting changed most likely in joggers. He doesn't wear a shirt to bed anyways so that's all he would else wear. The bed then dipped behind me and the covers were pulled up over us. His arm went around my waist pulling me closer to his body. Then his face was snuggled in the back of my neck.

"Darling" he whispered, kissing the back of my neck.

"mhm" is all I said back.

"she's asleep now" he says, I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck, which gave me shivers down my spine.

"Well done" I sniffle. I know it was kinda rude but when I'm really tired I can get like that.

It was silent for a few minutes until he broke it by saying "sorry"

This made me turn around to face him, "It's not your fault Tommy. I should be saying sorry to you. I didn't tell you that she was being like this, she must just miss you. Ever since you left she acted like a brat some days. These past 4 days she's been going bed around this time and i've gotten no sleep at all" I cry.

"Shhh. Come here" He pulls me into his chest.

"I'm just tired" I whispered.

"I know, I know. We will talk about this in the morning okay? Right now you need sleep and so do I. Tomorrow we can go on a date, i'll drop Scarlett off to my mums and we can do something fun whatever you want" he kisses my forehead.

"Thanks babe" I kiss him softly on his lips.

And what he said we did, we went on a cute little date and chilled in watching movies. The next day we picked up Scarlett, she did apologise realising that what she did was wrong. Then we all went to get some ice cream together, as one happy family.

Please send some requests message me!!

[draguta]

.11pm.

pairing: sebastian stan x actress!reader

summary: you haven't heard from sebastian since your night together, but you think of him often. what happens when you're reunited for an interview on jimmy kimmel and he tries to apologize for his radio silence?

word count: 3900 words

warnings: smut, 18+, minors dni, quickie, unprotected sex

a/n: i've been pretty unmotivated recently and have so many fics in the works, but figured i'd have a go at doing a slightly more story-based sequel to 3am! it's a little longer than i had intended. let me know what you think!

🍃 tip jar 🍃

🍃 join my taglist 🍃

chapter one | 3am

It had been weeks since you and Seb had shared your night together. You hadn’t seen him since; the day after had been a whirlwind, with Seb needing to fly back to New York that morning and you heading to LA with Chris later in the afternoon so you could begin pre-production on your next movie. The memory of your night together lingered on your mind – the thought of his hands running along your sweat-filmed body came to you in the middle of meetings when your mind should be elsewhere, the memory of his lips lingering on yours with the faint taste of champagne still evident filled your mind in the middle of filming a scene causing to you forget your lines and ruin the shot, the whispers of his fingers trailing over you back as he slid off your dress came to you each night when you went to bed, enough to slip your hands under the waistband of your shorts and relive the pleasure. It wasn’t the same though, not by yourself. It was his hands that you longed for, despite only ever having felt them on you once before. It was his eyes, the pupils blown so wide that you could almost not see the crystal blue of his irises, that you saw when you fell over the edge, each night more extreme than the last. But it wasn’t enough.

“Good morning,” Seb whispered gently into your ear as you came back to consciousness. Your body was exhausted, limp and aching from the night before, but you were too happy to care. He ghosted a kiss over the bare skin of your shoulder and your eyes inadvertently flickered open, meeting his own.

“Good morning,” you chuckled in reply. He reached forward, moving to plant a gentle kiss on your lips but after the first contact you pulled away. “Morning breath.”

He laughed, throwing his head back against the pillow, his hair seeming darker than normal against the white sheets in the morning light.

“Alright, go brush your teeth then and I’ll order us some breakfast and a coffee?” Your eyes widened at the thought of a coffee – it was exactly what you needed to wake yourself up and prepare yourself for the flight to LA that afternoon. “Go, go, go! I want to kiss those lips again, please.”

You laughed, sliding away from the arms that had been wrapped around you all night, slipping out from under the covers, missing his warmth already. Once you were inside the bathroom you made quick work of brushing your teeth and hopped in the shower, cleaning yourself up from the night before, closing your eyes as you ran your hands over your wet body, pretending that they were his.

You heard a knock at the hotel room door followed by muffled voices, but you assumed that it was simply your room service. With a smile you thought about sitting in bed to eat your breakfast, tucked under Seb’s arm as you drank your coffee; the perfect start to your day.

When you finally turned off the stream of hot water and dried yourself off, wrapping yourself in a warm, cozy towel, you left the bathroom, you wandered back into the hotel room, the thought of croissants almost as sweet as Sebastian’s lips had been flooding your mind. But the hotel was empty, with only the rustled sheets on the bed and a pair of leather shoes placed carefully by the door to suggest that he had been there at all.

You glanced around the room with a frown, grabbing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt from your suitcase and pulling them on quickly with a decision to go and find him already forming in your mind. It was then, just as you were sliding your feet into the hotel issued slippers that your phone pinged on the side table, and you reached over to read the message.

Seb: Hey, sorry I disappeared. Shauna came to get me – running late for my flight. I’ll come find you before I go.

You waited, sitting on the edge of the bed, nibbling on the edge of the bagel that Seb had ordered for you, sipping the coffee to wash it down. On the tray beside the food was a small pill and a note in Seb’s handwriting that read, ‘Asked the front desk to bring this for you. Didn’t want to take the risk – S’. You swallowed the pill with a gulp of bitter coffee, and waited. But he never came, and before you knew it you had wasted away your morning staring at the wall waiting for someone who clearly wasn’t coming and you were late for your own flight.

It was at that moment that it occurred to you that perhaps the night before hadn’t meant as much to him as it had to you. Maybe he’d just wanted some fun, and you had been the only one there. But for you it was so much more than that – it had felt like the start of something magical, something that was going to take you to greater heights than you had ever experienced before. Clearly you had been wrong.

It was nearing two months since you had seen Seb when you got the call from your publicist that you were scheduled for an interview on Jimmy Kimmel to do promo for ‘Civil War’. Katie, your publicist, had informed you that you wouldn’t be alone on the show, being joined by Chris, Mackie, Paul, and Sebastian. Your stomach jolted at the news that Sebastian would be there, and you had felt a strange sense of nerve course through your body at the thought, something that was a completely foreign feeling to you when it came to Sebastian. You had known him for years, it seemed silly to be so nervous to see him again, but things were different now, and you couldn’t be certain that after months of radio silence he even wanted to see you. There had to have been a reason that he’d disappeared that morning without saying goodbye, that the kisses he had promised you had gone unfulfilled.

You brushed down your dress as you entered through the stage door of the studio where they filmed Jimmy’s show, smiling and waving slightly at the photographers and fans hanging around outside in the brisk evening chill to catch even just a glimpse of one of the Marvel stars.

Once inside Katie hurried you down endless corridors, through various doors, passing by members of staff and crew alike as they frantically tried to prepare for the show, until finally you found yourself outside of your dressing room. A little laminated card pressed onto the front of the door read your name, and Katie bustled you inside without a second thought. You were suddenly left alone in the dressing room. You looked around. You could see a basket of snacks on the table for you and you made your way over, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a sip in an attempt to calm your nerves, checking your lipstick in the mirror afterwards to make sure that the bottle hadn’t smudged it.

There was a gentle knock at the door and you sighed, assuming it was Katie with yet another question or command that you had to follow for the show. When you opened the door just a crack however, it wasn’t Katie’s face that you were met with. Instead you found yourself staring into those icy-blue eyes that you thought you had known so well. Your lips parted slightly in shock, and Seb must have been able to see the surprise on your face because he gently maneuvered you inside the room and closed the door behind him.

“Y/N,” he said quietly, turning around to face you, running a hand through his dark locks that you had once gripped so tightly that you had been surprised you didn’t pull out a handful. “Can we talk, please?”

“What is there to talk about?” You asked quietly, turning away from him, not wanting him to see the pain that you were certain was clearly etched onto your face, visible even through the thick layer of make-up that Katie had insisted you wear for the cameras. “You ghosted me. I think the rest is pretty obvious.”

Despite not looking at him, you could sense his body tense at your words.

“Y/N, I didn’t…” he began, but he trailed off. You risked a glance at his reflection in the mirror and saw that he was running a through his hair again, a nervous trait that you had caught onto right at the beginning of your friendship. He was looking down at his feet, his eyes nervous darting from one foot to the other as he tried to think of the perfect string of words to solidify his explanation. “I didn’t want to ignore you, I just got so busy and before I knew it so much time had passed and it felt wrong to call you then. I’m glad to see you though, I wanted to apologize.”

His hand trailed to the back of his neck, rubbing at the dip where his head connected to his neck slightly as he looked up at you awkwardly, likely knowing that it wasn’t enough for forgiveness. You turned to face him again, taking in his cringed expression. He looked handsome, as he always did – he wore a dark suit with a white shirt and blue tie. Despite having finished filming his hair was still longer, something that you quite liked. Your mind drifted back momentarily to the memory of your fingers tangled in that hair as he threw you to the very brink of pleasure, making you feel things that you had never felt before.

You shook your head, pushing the thought away; now wasn’t the time to get carried away.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Seb,” you said quietly, shrugging slightly as you folded your arms across your chest in an attempt to steady yourself and give you the push of confidence that you needed to not fall to your knees before him. “You really hurt me, you know?”

He nodded slowly, looking down at the ground guiltily. “I won’t do it again, I promise.”

It was almost a whisper, and you felt your heart skip a beat, pumping so loudly that you were certain he could hear it. “How can I know that?”

Seb glanced up, his eyes catching yours and for just a second it felt like everything around you melted away; you could see the regret in his eyes, see the pain and the guilt that he was feeling right there, so blatant, interweaving with the blue and grey seas in his irises. You knew that you had forgiven him already – all it took was that one look and you knew that you were his until the end of time, even if he didn’t feel the same way. You couldn’t help yourself, couldn’t stop yourself from falling for him. You had fought it for so many years, but now all you wanted to do was let that feeling consume you, to drown in the blue of his eyes forever, allow him to fill your lungs and pull you down. That was all you wanted.

“5 minute call!” Katie’s voice shouted from the other side of the door and Seb pulled his eyes away from yours, almost unwillingly. You took that as your cue, preparing yourself to leave. Seb caught your wrist gently in his hand, pulling you back from the door.

“Can we not leave it like this, please?” He asked. It seemed almost like a beg, like he was willing for you to pull him into an embrace and tell him that everything was OK, that you could forgive him. But you couldn’t let yourself, not matter how much you wanted to – you felt like you couldn’t trust him. You had given him everything, made him your whole world for that night, and he had left you alone and broken. Even those nights in your room, thinking of no one but him alone, were not enough.

You slipped your wrist from his gentle grip, and left the room, not looking back.

You stood squashed in the small ‘elevator’, Mackie standing just in front of you beside Seb, and Paul by your side. You could sense how tense Seb’s body was, could see it in the way that he was carrying his shoulders, and you wondered for a moment if it was simply the nerves of a live show, or if it was because of your conversation earlier. Either one would make sense, but you knew that you needed to focus; you didn’t have time to think or worry about Seb and whether or not you had hurt him.

“Should we bring out the guys?” Jimmy asked enthusiastically.

“Let’s do it!” You heard Chris’ voice.

“Alright, let’s do it!” Jimmy’s voice boomed. “Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, Y/N Y/L/N, and Paul Rudd. Come on out guys!”

A moment later the door before you opened and you were met with bright lights glaring down at you, cameras pointed in your direction from every angle, and a packed audience watching your every move, their applause and cheers louder now that the door was open. You took a deep breath and plastered on your best smile, following the others out onto the stage, giving Jimmy a little hug before moving to sit down. Anthony and Paul immediately took a seat on the sofa beside Chris leaving you to sit behind on the wooden chair beside Seb. Chris leaned over the back of the sofa, planting a soft kiss on your cheek with a grin, shaking Seb’s hand as you sat down and the applause began to die out, the loud music that the band had played for your entrance coming to an end.

“Look at this, wow,” Jimmy said with a smile whilst you made yourself comfortable. The chair was too tall for you and you cross your right leg over the other, balancing your left foot on the back of the sofa to steady yourself, beaming across at Jimmy. “So much heroism here, so many great…are you guys like – and I know the answer is probably going to be yes you did hang out together, but was it all business or did you become a real…well Paul this was your first introduction, you guys have each been in a couple of the Captain America movies, two and three. Did they accept you as part of the team?”

“Well, they accepted me. They’re all very nice,” Paul began to answer. “You guys were great. I felt a little though like, you know, almost like they were a fraternity and I was like flounder in Animal House, like Stephen first coming up and saying, you know, you guys playing card?”

“And that’s why we were going to trade him for Scarlett Johansson,” Seb laughed, and Anthony agreed with a nod of his head.

“Oh, was Y/N not enough for you Sebastian?” Jimmy laughed and Seb leaned back in his chair, shaking his head with a laugh. His arm snaked its way around your shoulder and you almost fell into his touch, but stopped yourself. You had to remember that you were on live TV, and that you were mad at him, two reasons not to fall for him again.

“Ah, Y/N’s great. You know what, I’m glad she was on our team,” he laughed. Chris nodded firmly, looking over his shoulder to shoot me a winning smile. “I’d pick her over Scarlett any day.”

“Paul on the other hand is on the trading block,” Anthony laughed loudly, causing the audience to chuckle.

“Right, you weren’t able to work that one out?” Jimmy asked, and Anthony shook his head, letting out a rough ‘nah’ in response. You realized that Seb’s arm was still wrapped around your shoulder, and you shrugged ever-so-slightly, subtle enough that it wouldn’t be caught on camera but enough that Seb knew you wanted him to move. Reluctantly, with a glance in your direction, he removed his arm, bringing it to rest over the back of your chair instead – it wasn’t ideal, but it was better.

The interview continued, and you found yourself lost in the questions, answering nearly as quickly as Mackie usually did, making the most of your time there so that you didn’t have to think about Seb. Every so often, when you made a joke you would catch Seb laughing with you, his eyes trained on you as you spoke, and each time it became harder to ignore the butterflies that erupted in your stomach at the thought of his eyes on you. Jimmy did his outro ready for the commercial break, and you knew that you had ten minutes to fill before you were back on air and able to ignore him again, with Katie having explained beforehand that the second half of your interview would air after the break and a small pre-recorded segment for the show.

The others began to chat away with Jimmy once the cameras were off, but Seb didn’t join in, instead turning to you, checking first to make sure that his microphone had been temporarily switched off.

“Y/N, please,” he said quietly, not wanting to others to hear what he was saying. His eyes were wide and sorrowful, like a puppy-dog who had been caught chewing its owner’s shoe. His mouth was turned downwards in a frown, his eyebrows knitted together. “I’m sorry, OK? I really am. I can’t apologize enough. That night, it was everything that I wanted. I know I hurt you, and if I could go back and change that, tell myself not to be such a dick, then I would do it in an instant. I can’t deal with the fact that you hate me.”

Your eyebrows raised as you looked at him in surprise. How could he think that? You were mad at him, granted, although you knew that even though you wouldn’t say it you had already forgiven him, but hate him? You could never.

“I don’t hate you.” Your voice was low, lower even than his, desperate to keep this conversation private despite your public location. “That’s the problem, Seb. I could never hate you, that’s why it hurt.”

Seb’s eyes flashed for a moment, and you swore you saw the ghost of a smile on his lips. He stood up suddenly, reaching for your hand.

“We’ll be right back,” he turned to Jimmy. “Y/N’s not feeling so well so I’m going to take her to find some water. We’ll be back before the break is over, I promise.”

Sebastian tugged your arm and led you down a quiet corridor. He stopped outside a door, looking from left to right to make sure that the coast was clear, before pulling you inside the small closet.

Within seconds he had you pressed up against the closed door, reaching down to turn the lock so that you weren’t disturbed. He peered down at you, his view roaming your face, lingering on your neck, your lips, before he connected his to them once more. You moaned as you tasted his familiar flavor, this time lacking the champagne but replaced by the peppermint from the gum that he was chewing. He smiled against you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you flush against him, nibbling on the tender skin of your bottom lip.

“We’ve only got a few minutes,” he whispered against your mouth. “We have to be quick, OK?”

And quick you were, allowing him to reach down and slip your panties off in one fluid motion as you unbuckled his belt, allowing him freedom from the restraints of his trousers. He groaned as the air hit his length, burying his head in your neck as he pressed little kisses around your collarbone. Within only a second he wrapped his hands around your thighs and hoisted you into the air, delving inside you as you bit back a cry of his name. He hissed at the sensation, biting down on your skin in pleasure, something that caused tingles to float across your chest, heightening your own pleasure.

“Seb, move, please,” you whispered, hot and carefree, not caring that once again you were unprotected or that you had to be back on live TV in such a short amount of time. All you wanted was to feel him, every inch of him, moving in tandem with your own body. You wanted him to feel every ounce of pleasure that he was instilling in you, every thrust of his hips as he began to shift causing your eyes to roll back, your nails gripping tightly to the material of his suit jacket.

It felt like the first time all over again, the passion, attraction, and lust blending perfectly to create an endless stream of moans that escaped from your puckered lips, swollen from his kisses. There was no build up this time, and he started quick and rough, allowing you to wriggle in his grasp to meet his thrusts, hard and fast, hitting the spot that made your mind cloud over every single time. He grunted and gasped in your ear, the only sound that you could focus on.

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re so good for me,” he whispered, and you felt that familiar coil in your lower stomach tighten. “I promise I’ve got you, darlin’. I promise I’m never letting you go again.”

Each word was punctuated with a thrust, a hit of your spot, and a moan escaping from your parted mouth. He lifted a hand as you grew louder, covering your mouth gently so that no one would hear you, and you allowed yourself to bite down on his finger, not enough to cause him pain, but enough to keep you grounded and stop you from seemingly floating away on the pleasure that you were experiencing.

It only took a few more thrusts and whispers of praises tickling along your neck for you to succumb to the sensation, your legs shaking as your orgasm washed over you, reaching from the tips of your toes to your fogged mind. You swore your vision blurred, and you almost saw stars as you clenched around him, pushing him to the extreme as well as he moaned your name, finishing inside you.

You stayed like that for a moment, both of you simply catching your breath, his face rested in the crook of your neck, your chin perched firmed on the top of his head, running your fingers through his long hair. You knew you had to go back, that the segment before you was likely coming to an end and your publicists would be looking for you everywhere, but you didn’t want to move, enjoying the feeling of him limp against your body, worn out and sweaty, his breath bringing goosebumps across your smooth skin.

But you did move eventually as he unwrapped himself from your grip, moving backwards and fixing his trousers, handing you back your panties which you slid on quickly. There was no time for you to clean yourself up before heading back out, and when he reached his hand out to you, you took it, watching him plant a kiss on your knuckles before leading you back to the set.

You were content, and so it seemed was he. Content with each other, content that this was the start of something, content that you were his and he was yours, and content that when the interview was finished you would be heading home together. With that, you were satisfied.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hey lad! Its it ok to ask for some Garcello headcanons (or a fic if you want! ^^)? Let's say he wakes up from a nightmare that was about losing his s/o (or if you want you can make it about him dying before them, due to his smoking), and just needing to wake them up to make sure that they're ok.

I hope this is fine! I've been having a hard time recently because of random mood swings so I kinda needed some comfort, thank you! ^^

Went the fic route for this one (also hurt/comfort trope go brr). Hope you feel better soon!

...........

“Maybe dating a junkie like you was a mistake.”

“Wha..?” The cigarette slipped from Garcello’s lips as he heard you speak. But he didn't bother to pick it up. He was just frozen in shock at your words. “[Y/n]..I-”

A cough interrupted him, one that hurt more than previous ones--to the point where he was clutching his chest as he gasped for air.  It was so painful. His lungs felt like they were on fire.

But nothing could compare to the pain he felt when you continued, a disgusted expression on your face.

“Look at yourself, you can’t even talk. You always push others away, especially me. And all you care about are your stupid little drugs. You don't even care about US anymore!” 

“Baby, I’m so--sorry..." He rasped. "We can..I can-”

“Pretend that we never met? I think that's best for both of us. Enjoy the rest of your miserable life, Garcello.” You turned your back on him and walked away, seemingly vanishing into the dark shadows that surrounded you both. It was like they swallowed you whole.

“W-Wait!! Please stay..I can't do this..!” As Garcello tried chasing after you, he didn’t get far as he stumbled and collapsed to the ground, his breath labored. “H-Help..” He began choking on sobs as he curled up.

For once he was actually terrified of death...this was the one cigarette that did him in.

But why were you being so cruel to him? In his last moments alive? 

Was this punishment for his addiction? Did you truly hate him that much?

Maybe he deserved this.

.......

“Ghh!”

Garcello sat up in bed with a start, panicking slightly as he grabbed the cigarette pack and lighter on the nightstand. It was out of pure instinct--something he always did whenever he had a nightmare.

But he looked at the pack logo in hesitance, putting a hand to his chest. He sighed, realizing he was able to breathe easy now. The harsh words you said back in the dream made him reconsider as he put the items back on the table.

Then he noticed you were asleep beside him, and he couldn’t help but wonder...

Were those words your true thoughts? Did you only date him out of pity? Was he burdening you?

He didn’t know. And he needed to know right now.

So he shook you awake, as gently as he could, eventually stirring you from sleep. “..Gar? What’s wrong?” You mumbled as you sat up.

“[Y/n]..” He shuddered with relief, grateful that you still called him that same nickname. It crushed him when you used his full name in the dream, since you only did before you two started dating.

"Do you ever...regret meeting me?”

“Huh..? That's a pretty deep question at..3AM, don’t you think?” You chuckled tiredly, rubbing your eyes. “I have a lot of regrets in life.” 

But you then heard a sniffle and glanced at him, seeing the tears now streaming down his exhausted face.

Shit. You made a mistake.

“O-Oh hun, that doesn't mean you! I’m sorry.” You brought the shaking man into your arms, feeling your shoulder growing damp as he cried quietly, and ran your fingers through his hair. “I don’t regret meeting you at all. You've made me the happiest I've ever been."

“I did..?”

“Yeah. Now..what made you suddenly think that?"

“Well...” As Garcello hugged you back, he explained his nightmare to you--recalling everything you said and how you basically left him to die. 

You were shocked, knowing that you wouldn’t dare say such terrible things...not even if you got into an argument over his addiction. You’d never weaponize it and hurt him that way.

Once he was done talking, you reassured him that those aren't your true thoughts of him whatsoever. Nightmares do tend to overexaggerate one's worst fears after all, so you promised him all of it was false.

He had similar ones before--with peers and people he grew up with--but he never woke you up and had a smoke outside to calm down.

This time though..you were the one taunting him and he needed to make sure you didn't hate him.

After holding him for a little while longer, and giving him a ton of kisses as proof of your love, he was willing to go back to sleep. The urge to smoke had long passed, so you let him get situated in your arms before he soon dozed off.

For once he didn't turn to a cigarette for comfort, but you instead.

[oven-thermometer]

'SFW ABC's' for Strife pleaseeee. Loved the other two ❤️

SFW ABCs of Strife

Author's notes: I'm really sorry for the lack of writing recently; I got in a car accident a few weeks ago (everyone's fine) and I started school again a week after that so I've had my plate full 😅. But regularly scheduled posts should hopefully continue! A new piece every 2 or 3 weeks depending on my inspiration! :) also, thank you anon - your words mean the world 🤍

Warnings: angst, fluff and bad grammar cause I haven't proofread this

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Strife is clingy and overbearing, but in the best way. He will not leave you alone. He will constantly be around you, and gets upset when you aren't around. You're like his personal teddy bear, you knew this coming into the relationship so just accept him :)

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Choas. 3am McDonald's kidnappings, running around a dark forest chanting tiktok audios and hyping you up every chance he gets. He will literally hype you up so much and he means every word. You die laughing every time you're with him and he genuinely cares about you a lot.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Again, we go back to the teddy bear concept. The moment you touch the bed, he will latch onto you and won't want to let go. He loves to be the big spoon, but his weakness is occasionally being the protected, little spoon. It makes him feel so loved. He's a very light sleeper due to him sleeping around battlefields so much, so if you move he'll wake up and adjust according.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Strife is messy. He doesn't do it intentionally, he just gets so distracted and eventually gets discouraged :( he will slowly get used to it if you help him, but it takes a while. Strife is also scared to settle down, it's again not because of you but because of him. His life has been hard and long - he doesn't want to add you or any other being to that suffering no matter what. Just give him time.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Like Death: he'd ignore you, insult you, fight with you and make you hate him. So that you think you're better off without him, which he believes. He loved you, and always will.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

When you too first got together, you would've expected him to continue his shameless flirting and pick-up lines - but he became distant; he was fighting an inner battle on whether or not he wanted this and wanted to give you this danger. You'll need to talk to him, and show you some of those feelings he's hidden behind that ✨ comedic relief ✨

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He's usually very rough and chaotic, but knows when it's time to be quiet and listen to what you have to say or give you a gentle hug. He'll wrap you in your favourite fuzzy blankets, make you his famous hot chocolate and put on your comfort shows. When you're ready to talk, he'll listen.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Less bone-crushing than War, but more passionate than Death. Is constantly hugging and cuddling you, no matter where you are. WILL NOT CARE IF YOU GUYS ARE IN PUBLIC IN FRONT OF A CROWD HE WILL HUG YOU TO DEATH. (no pun intended)

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

This man is riddled with commitment issues - he knew what love meant to humans, and other beings even though they had different words for it. But none of this made it any easier, the opposite in fact. You had to say it first, to reassure him - to make him comfortable that these feelings were returned. He felt vulnerable and scared otherwise, but after the first time he'll say it with bold-faced pride...most the time.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Very jealous, very quickly. He isn't controlling, but he is very protective. He's had a lot of bad people threaten everything he's ever loved in his life, and one day someone might do good on that threat. He's warned you about this, and he'll protect you from anyone he thinks might hurt you - but a lot of the times he feels bad because he doesn't want to control you or make you feel like he's your only option.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Sloppy, goofy, spontaneous and full of puppy-love. He's so enamored by you and he's never been good with outward emotions, so he channels his love for you into kissing and he hopes that does the trick. This also works with the fact that he isn't great with words :)

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He loves kids! He thinks they're very funny, and loves that they have absolutely no filter. He gets a little sad afterwards, cause they remind him of when he and his siblings were younger - those memories cause him pain, he doesn't want to remember the good of the Nephilim; so he shuts it all out.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He's a light sleeper, but he also likes to sleep in. Combine this with the fact that he won't let you move while cuddling you, you're stuck in bed for a couple hours :') he is awake most the times you tell him you need to leave, he just pretends he's asleep and he knows you know he's awake.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Watching your guys' favourite show, playing video games or hanging around with his siblings. He likes to tire you out before bed so that you have a better sleep... and so that you don't move as much while he's snuggling you. You haven't caught onto this yet, and he doesn't know if you ever will considering he knows how much you love his night-snuggles.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Like the other four, Strife falls in line with being terrible at showing his emotions. He covers it all with humor and jokes. He doesn't want to show you his problems or fears because of multiple reasons. He doesn't want to scare you off, make you feel like it's your issue to solve, make you worry and he doesn't want to ever make you think twice about his strength. He's a warrior. He's strong. He can.. Do this?

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It depends, in battle he's pretty calm and easy-going. When it comes to you - such as teaching you something, or showing you something - he'll also have a lot of patience. Although, sometimes he loses control. He'll get a little bit too into bashing that demon's face in with the hilt of Mercy, he'll get a bit competitive at video games but he will never shout or lose his temper with you outwardly. He might get annoyed, but he'll shelf that feeling like he does with so many other things.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Rather forgetful, due to his nature and the fact that he's taken a few konks to the head lmao. He might forget tiny things about you, but Strife will remember the important stuff - like special dates, your emotional reaction to some things and a lot about the stuff you've taught him about humanity and life, a life worth living.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

You sat with each other on a cliff; over-looking the demon and angel infested city that had been somewhat retake by nature. He asked you what some signs and buildings were for, in order to distract you from some.. Scenes below. It worked though, you laughed together as you explained funky commercials and billboards to him while remembering what it was like before. It was the first time he heard you laugh, really laugh. His heart jumped into his throat.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

I've spoken about how he protects you, but relationships are a two way street after all! While you can't really protect Strife in battle, if you ever defend him in a verbal argument, protect him in a video game or even defend him from Death's belittling - he will melt. He's always been the protector, so being the protected feels so.. New and special to him <3

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He tries his best. He really does. But occasionally, he'll show up with an apologetic smile and a bouquet of squashed flowers to a date. He didn't mean to accidentally sit on them while riding over, promise. He makes up for it in kisses, snuggles and massages though :D

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He doesn't put the lid back on things, will put bread crumbs in the margarine, will leave the Playstation on all night, leaves the soap in a wet tray so it gets all soggy and he isn't the best at remembering to pick things up behind him.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Unlike Death (dumpster saga continues) he knew what a bath was before meeting you. He smells of gun smoke, whiskey and ash. Even if he's never had a drop of human alcohol, it always clings to him and his scarf.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

You ground him, make him feel real, make him feel like he doesn't always have to shove his past into a locked box - he thinks you're gorgeous, and admires your soul. It sometimes scares him how much he wouldn't feel alive without you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Strife will make tiktoks with you. 1000%. Whether it's an original idea, a stupid audio or a dance you wanted to try - he's your man. If it means making you laugh, he'll do it.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone that is too serious, posh or snobbish. If you can't step down from your high horse and have some goofy fun with him, he won't enjoy your company. This is why he dislikes so many people he's met along his travels. They're all to stuck up for his liking.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Strife occasionally deals with nightmares, as expected, and this causes him to occasionally kick and fling his arms around in his sleep. If he ever hits you he'll feel it and wake up, followed by a lot of apology-cuddles 🥺. He also talks in his sleep, the first time he confessed his feelings to you he was actually asleep next to you in front of a fire. You didn't say anything the next day, you decided to let him believe you were the first one to confess; since he'd be massively uncomfortable otherwise.

[devildom-tyrant]

Hi, sorry to bother you if you've done this already, but I've read your drabble where MC is comforted after a nightmare by the brothers (Mammon, Beel, and Satan) and it just makes me so soft I love it so much I keep rereading it. So I was wondering if you could do another with Asmo and Levi (and possibly Lucifer)? Obviously no pressure or anything, I'm a writer myself and understand that inspiration can be fleeting at times. Anyways, thank you, have a nice day/night!! 💖

You wake up yet again, jolting from your rest with your heart pounding in your throat.  It takes you several panicked breaths to realize that you’re in your room, safe in your bed, and it was just another nightmare that jarred you from your slumber.  

The details are foggy, but you can still remember the laughter, and the feeling of someone hating you with every fiber of their being to the point that they wanted you dead, that they were thrilled that you were dying.

Your bed sheets are a tangled mess around your legs, and you hastily kick them off, sitting upright and rubbing the sleep from your eyes with one hand, while you blindly reach for your D.D.D. with the other.  The screen lights up, showing that it’s past 3AM, and you fight back a groan.  You’re exhausted, but you know you won’t be able to go back to sleep like this.  And if you show up to class half-asleep again, everyone’s just going to worry about you.

You switch on your bedside lamp and weigh your options, your gaze riveted to your D.D.D.  

Lucifer

Automatically, you scroll to Lucifer’s name.  At this hour, he’s likely to be asleep, though you know that his work usually keeps him up rather late.  If you texted him, he would likely be worried... After all, you rarely reach out to him for help, not wanting to burden him when he has enough on his plate with Diavolo.  

Several minutes pass with your screen pulled up to your text messages with Lucifer, before you finally suck in a deep breath and hastily type out: “Are you awake?”  Before your mind talks you out of it, you hit Send and then immediately panic.  You really don’t want to tell Lucifer about the nature of the nightmares, nor do you want to admit to them in the first place and skew his view of you.  

An R for Read pops up next to the text, followed by three dots to indicate his typing, and you mentally flip your shit.

“I am now.  Why are you awake?”

Shit, did you wake him up?  You chew on your bottom lip, and carefully type out your response.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.  I was just having trouble sleeping and wondered if you might be up, that’s all.”

You follow that text with a sticker that’s sweat-dropping and smiling apologetically to keep it light-hearted.  Lucifer texts back immediately:

“Oh?”

“Come to my room then.”

You hesitate at that, your heart pounding in your chest.  Did he just--?  Is he asking you to--?

“We can talk or listen to one of my records if that might help you.  Or I may have some tea that could help.”

Oh.  Your panic eases a bit, and you acquiescence, typing out an All right before rising to your feet and making your way to his bedroom.  You feel as if you’re sneaking through the house, and it almost makes you feel guilty; it’s too quiet when everyone’s asleep.  However, you make it to Lucifer’s room without incident, and he opens the door before you even knock.  His expression is neutral, until he catches a glimpse of your tired, haggard appearance, which brings a light frown to his features.

“You look like hell,” he bluntly states, moving aside to let you in.

“I’m in hell,” you shoot back, to which he chuckles.

“Essentially.  But that’s never stopped you from sleeping before.”

His tone is pointed, and you feel as if he knows exactly why you can’t sleep.  He’s always been sharp, usually one step ahead -- or so it seemed until recently.  Now, you know he’s not infallible, and he doesn’t know your every move.  He’s fishing, hoping you’ll take the bait and talk to him about it.  But as much as you’d like to, you’re also stubborn -- and so very tired.  It’s a talk for another time.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up.  I thought you might be working late or something,” you admit, skirting the issue and taking a seat on the edge of his bed.  He quirks an eyebrow, but moves to sit at his desk.  

“Not this late on a school night.”

You can’t help but laugh, your thoughts a little more uncensored thanks to your lack of sleep.  “Sorry.  That sounded weird coming from you.”

“What?  It’s the truth.  Our little sleep study proved the importance of rest before classes, didn’t it?”  A smile plays at his lips at the thought of that, and the memory makes your cheeks heat up.  Suddenly, his bed feels huge, yet this room feels so small, drawing the two of you together.  You shouldn’t have come up here this late.  

“I--”  Part of you knows you should say that you can sleep now, that you’re fine, but you’re not.  “I wish I could sleep, but I’ve been... having nightmares, and they’re stupid, but I just...”

Your voice trails, and Lucifer moves from the chair to the bed in an instant, all traces of his teasing smile gone as he pulls you against his chest.  He doesn’t have to ask what they’re about; he knows.

He holds you in silence for a moment, while your heart hammers so hard, you know he can feels it.  Finally, his deep baritone murmurs, “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Your name comes out on his lips, and you feel your eyes watering, but you blink it away and shake your head.  “I’m okay.  I’m okay now.  Can we... lie down for a bit?”

The request comes out small, fearful of rejection, yet afraid of the acceptance as well.  Wordlessly, Lucifer lies back on the bed with you, his arms wound around you tight, one hand lightly trailing along your back.  You curl into him, burying your face in his chest (his heart’s beating quickly, too, some part of you registers), and slowly begin to drift asleep.

In your semi-consciousness, you realize Lucifer’s humming a melody you’ve never heard before, yet it makes you feel so safe.

Asmo

You know Asmo isn’t awake at this hour; he’s always told you that he needs plenty of beauty rest for his skin.  Still, you can’t help but click on his name, wishing that he was up so he could comfort you.  He’s so light-hearted, smiling and looping his arm through yours, and that casual intimacy has always put you at ease when you’re around him.  It makes it feel like you’ve known him forever. 

It’s that feeling that makes you type candidly, your thumb flying across the buttons.  

“I can’t sleep.”

If he doesn’t respond, then that’s fine; he’ll likely ask you about it tomorrow or give your tips to combat the bags that will surely be beneath your eyes.  To your surprise, however, an R pops up next to the message, followed closely by Asmo typing.  

“Then sleep with me, darling.”

That’s a dangerous double-meaning coming from the Avatar of Lust, but with your anxiety ramped up to an 11, you’re definitely not in the mood for that kind of distraction.  As you make your way out into the corridor and toward his room, you type out a clarification.  

“Just sleep, okay?  I had a nightmare.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take your mind off it.”

When Asmo opens his door, you give him a lop-sided grin.  “You perv.”

“On the contrary, darling, what I said was completely innocent.  Check the chat log.  If you took it wrong, well... then, I must be rubbing off on you.”  Asmo smirks, automatically looping an arm around your waist and pulling you close.  To his credit, he’s never groped you (without implicit permission), so you’ve always felt at complete ease with his physical affection.  

“You’ve definitely been a bad influence,” you joke, not that your mind wasn’t dirty before you came to the Devildom.  “But I’m really tired.  I wanna be able to sleep.”

“Of course.  But you’re so tense!  Here, lie down on the bed and let me loosen you up.”  There’s a dirty joke on both of your tongues, but you’re too drained to make it, and he’s trying to be on his best behavior.  You comply, however, plopping down face-first onto his luxurious bed, while he sits beside you and begins rubbing the tension from your shoulders.  Asmo knows what he’s doing when it comes to massages, and his bed has a heavy floral scent, likely from the lotions and perfumes he uses often.  It’s so relaxing.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, surprisingly energized for this time of night.  It’s obvious that you woke him up, but strangely enough, he isn’t complaining about the interruption to his beauty sleep.

“Not really.”  You’re starting to feel guilty about keeping him up.  “Hey, I think I’m good on the massage.  Do you mind... cuddling?”

His hands still on your shoulder blades.  “You don’t have to ask me twice.  I always want to cuddle with you!”  Grinning excitedly, he climbs beneath the covers beside you, and wraps you up in his arms.  He’s so warm, and you feel so at ease, surrounded by his soothing scent.  You wind your arms around his slender frame, and he grins, pulling you in tighter, facing one another.  

“You’re such a cute human.  You sounded embarrassed to ask just then.”

Your face flushes.  “Shuddup.  I just want you to get your beauty sleep,” you mutter, which only causes him to hug you tighter.

“Aww, you were worried about me?  You’re so sweet!  I’m supposed to be the one comforting you, silly.”  His hand trails along your back, just barely beneath your shirt so you can feel his skin on yours.  He tucks your head beneath his chin, but you can tell from his voice that he’s still grinning broadly.  “Just relax and fall asleep with me.  You won’t have a nightmare as long as I’m holding you.”

Asmo rocks you gently, until your abashment fades and you feel yourself succumbing to sleep at last.

He’s right.  

You don’t have another nightmare that night.  

Levi

If there’s someone you know is going to be awake and gaming at 3AM, it’s definitely Levi.  You click on his name, and type out a quick text:  “I can’t sleep.  Do you wanna come to my room and binge something?”

He reads the text within seconds and starts typing, just as you anticipated.  

“Raiding.  Come to my room instead?”

Even if you can’t sleep, you want to.  You want the company, a distraction, some comfort.  You would go to his room -- you’ve pulled plenty of all-nighters there, but... that’s what they were.  All-nighters.  His bed is literally a bathtub, and the one time you decided to take a nap in it, your neck had a wicked cramp in it for days. 

“I’m tired, though.  I was hoping we could watch it in bed and maybe fall asleep halfway through?”

This time, he reads it and doesn’t reply right away.  You see the three dots start and stop, and you’re not sure if he’s at a pivotal point in the raid, or if he’s too flustered by your invitation to properly respond.  Levi’s stayed in your room plenty of times, but he’s usually camped out with pillows in the floor, and if you happen to drift off, he keeps telling you random trivia about the show and shaking your leg until you make a noise that you heard him.  You’ve never fallen asleep with him.  

Your D.D.D. finally chimes with a notification.

“Did you send this to the right person??”

“Yes, Levi.”

“Oh.  Then you meant you want me to stay until you fall asleep.  For a second, I thought you meant sleep with you in your bed lolol.

Okay, after the raid.”

You know it’s just Levi being Levi and assuming you don’t feel that way about him, but with all the nervous energy you still have over the nightmare, you can’t help but feel your eyes water.  As childish as it sounds, you just want him to hold you so you can feel like everything’s okay.  You know you need to spell it out, but you leave his message on Read and pull the covers up to your chin, closing your eyes.  

... It’s too restrictive.  You kick at the covers and pick up your phone again, but... you can’t bring yourself to send another text, begging him to hurry.  You can always go to his room; the invitation stands.  Instead, you waste your time weighing your options, becoming more anxious, and ultimately, getting up to pace around your room.  

 About fifteen minutes pass before you hear a knock at your door, but it feels as if it’s been an eternity.  “It’s open,” you say, loud enough for him to hear, and Levi steps inside with a box set tucked beneath his arm.  

“Okay, I brought I Accidentally Became a Magical Girl, but the Transformation Sequence Takes So Long that the Villains Keep Attacking Me Halfway Through, and I Keep Losing but at Least I Get a Rose for Trying.  It got really good reviews, and I know you said you wanted to see more comedy anime.”  He smiles with such sincerity that you can’t help but feel guilty over tearing up a little earlier.  Just being around him makes you feel more at ease.  

“Thanks Levi, that sounds great.  Pop it in, and let’s give it a go.”  You smile doesn’t quite meet your gaze, and even though he’s a shut-in, it doesn’t go unnoticed that you’re acting different.  He pauses, but then shakes it off and starts setting it up, while you sit down on your bed.  As the first episode starts, he sits down beside you on the edge of the bed, while you’re sitting with your back against your pillows.  He starts telling you trivia about the animation studio and apparently, how the manga is actually more ecchi than the anime.  “OHHH, but I didn’t mean that I brought an ecchi anime for us to watch!  I mean, it’s sure to have some fanservice, but... but that’s just to be expected, right?  I wasn’t trying to be -- to be an Asmo or anything, I just thought you’d like it because it’s, uh, it’s supposed to be funny, and I--”

You lean forward and rest your forehead against his shoulder, cutting off his flustered explanation.  “You know I don’t mind that, Levi,” you assure him, before reaching out and grasping his sleeve.  He’s tense; even though you can’t see his face, you know it’s bright red, and you can feel the weight of his stare.  “I’d love to watch it with you.  I just... Will you lie down with me while we watch it?”

“L-l-lie down with you?!  Just-- just like that?!  Is this a joke?  Is this some kind of weird normie--?”

He breaks off as you finally raise your head to meet his gaze.  Levi can tell something’s amiss; he isn’t oblivious, he just lacks self-confidence.  He softly says your name.  “Why can’t you sleep?”

“I had a nightmare.  About, well... what happened back then.  In the foyer.  When... Belphie, uh...”

“Oh.”  He slides an arm around you, pulling you closer against his shoulder.  You feel so weak admitting that, but Levi isn’t judgmental; he just offers you the comfort you so desperately wanted from him.  “I didn’t know.  I thought you were just awake because you drank too much coffee or were bored or something.  If... If it’ll make you feel better, ye-yeah, I... I’ll lie down with you.  If you really want me to!”

He’s still flustered, but he doesn’t think you’re joking anymore, so you smile and nod against his shoulder.  “I’d really like that, Levi.  Thank you.”

His face turns even brighter.  “Y-yeah, no problem!”  

Levi slides under the covers after you straighten them out, and you settle in beside him.  His back’s up against the pillows now, so you snuggle into his side until he lifts his arm and gingerly puts it around you.  Your cheek settles on his chest, and he audibly gulps, but doesn’t move.  

Halfway into the episode, he starts pointing out the manga differences again, and you both laugh along with the gags and tropes throughout the show.  Levi becomes more comfortable and trails his fingers along your back, and you throw one of your legs over his, cuddling closer.  He keeps talking, this eccentric, passionate part of his personality being something you absolutely love about him, and the low murmur of his voice lulls you into a peaceful sleep.