#I've been also trying to quit smoking
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pewpop · 6 months ago
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indulging in some zolu, enjoying it even (im still trying to get past ep 10 life has been unbearable)
their ship dynamic is really cool, i love soul crushing devotion paired with matching each other's freak
(also friendly reminder my commissions are open soooooo haha soooo.....)
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lately I've been not enjoying writing in English and onestamente mi passa tra la minchia se non mi capisci pk, fra, parlo 4 lingue, impara l'italiano e help me out you know???
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forgotten-daydreamer · 5 months ago
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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
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dirt-goth · 2 years ago
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So last night was the first show I've gone to since I was like 18 that I put a real effort into Not Drinking and learned a few fun things
1) It was honestly a Lot harder to be in a bar around people drinking and just... not drink... than I expected. I thought I was in a little better place with that step but. Turns out 8+ years of alcoholic emotional avoidance isn't really fixed with a couple weeks (as a guy with other addictions this should not have been a shock)
2) Red bull and cranberry juice is delicious even without vodka. Good news.
3) I felt a lot better today. I remember last night very clearly. I had no hangover for work. Caffeine did its job still.
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la-cocotte-de-paris · 1 year ago
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What are your experiences with drugs?
Just weed tbh. But I never purchased anything, I'd just join the circle at parties. Haven't touched it in almost a year now just bc I've been in a different environment.
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trashycosmos · 1 year ago
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can we talk about the funniest thing of the whole experience was someome who sb me for almost 10 months straight saying they were upset i wasn't nice/distant/cold and didn't apologize for it and when i called out their behavior there was no apology from them they just didn't want to talk anymore lol
#literally laughed out loud reading the message#like one of us wanted was trying to be a murderer without getting blood on their hands (literally) and i'm the asshole bc i had the normal#HUMAN response to their bullshit#honestly they ought to consider themselves lucky i'm much more stable than they are or will ever be#the hilarious cherry on top of the whole fuck sundae is i wasn't even in therapy for at least the last 3 months of it all and they were#which is incredible#also a stark reminder that if (some) people can't be honest with their therapist then why are even you going roflmao#granted ig if you tell them you were actively trying to harm or threaten someone i think they're legally obligated to hold you in a ward#the level of narcissism was u n r e a l#it's not like i pretended to have been a perfect example of how to handle things but! there's! no! rulebook! on handling a sb piece of shit!#the truth shut them down & up so quick it was almost cathartic#kudos to them ig for cutting back on it after but goddess help the next person they try it on and give them the same patience/fortitude#moral of the story (for me) don't lie to your therapist (or another person's) or hide things from them#1) you aren't going to get any better 2) they have spent years learning to read people and they can see you for who you are and 3) you won't#even get the proper medication(s) (if you need it which goddess they need a significant number) for your illness(es)#honestly might explain quite of a bit of their spiral tbh and listen to your therapist when they tell you smoking weed exacerbates paranoia#i'm not saying don't smoke i'm saying smoke intelligently and safely. there's no shame in taking a break to better your mental health first#i've certainly done it#they could always start with why they were yelling about someone oddly specific on different occasions bc you know#it didn't present as suspicious in the least or why they couldn't pay others certain compliments like you're not subtle and again#not to be a broken record but that's what your therapist should be there for!#Falling Apart And Coming Together#i should come up with a label for it for me and when they potentially wanna snoop on my blog again rofl#but to anyone who('s) goes/going through similar i'm so sorry and i hope you refuse to give them the power to influence or control you#it usually comes from a place of them feeling like they have no control over themselves and it shows#i will say the closest i ever got to snapping (meaning yelling) was when they whispered to Nettle they hoped she'd die and manhandled her#several times#accidentally killing a stranger's cat might have awakened something in them but i sure as fuck wouldn't them try intentionally harming mine#or the one's they own#i think they even collected payment still after the incident which is actually sickening
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halalchampagnesocialist · 9 months ago
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How to spot Liberal Zionist Propaganda 101
This post is by no means exhaustive at all. There are many Liberal Zionist talking points but these are just some of the most common ones. While on the surface they seem a little naive and hopeful at best, they are very much harmful. If you claim to be an ally to Palestinians, this post is primarily for you!
For starters, liberal Zionists will often try to both-sides the issue of Palestine, talk about how it's complicated, they'll claim that the conflict hurts both Israelis and Palestinians, how the only way forward is one where Jews and Arabs "just need to get along," amongst other things. They also often like to centre themselves, even when acknowledging Palestinians as the victims of Israel or this "conflict." From time to time, they also like to engage in tokenising certain Palestinians whose views tend to more or less align with theirs. Here are some common arguments you may hear from them:
1. Any form of justifying Israel's existence or claiming that the only solution is two states
It does not really need to be said why justifying Israel's existence is harmful but justifying its continued existence also means legitimising Israel's land theft, its expulsions of Palestinians, and its ongoing harm to Palestinians and other populations. Reducing any sorts of “solutions” into a binary is unhelpful. Needless to say, a 2ss would not even address any legitimate concerns Palestinian have, such as the right of return, and would only legitimise Israel’s colonialism. Talking about a two-state solution also implies that the root of the conflict lies in Palestinians not having their own state rather than being an occupied people. It is very much also possible to construct a paradigm where Jews and Palestinians both live together on the same land as equal citizens that doesn't involve two separate states, much less an ethnostate.
2. Security for Israel could only come through peace
This is a similar talking point to the one above. Not only does it centre Israeli safety and security above Palestinian liberation but it mistakenly assumes that once Israel makes peace with Palestinians, it'll achieve security. The reality, however, is that Israel's imagined security has quite often come at the expense of peace. In fact, "peace" has just acted as nothing more than a smoke-screen for Israel to carry out its expansionist policies, particularly in the West Bank. When liberal Zionists talk about peace juxtaposed with Israeli security, they're talking about attaining a negative peace rather than a positive one.
3. Israelis are not their government.
This point does nothing to actually help Palestinians. It is also an incredibly tone-deaf thing to say when Israel has targeted many Palestinian civilians by having alleged proximity to Hamas, such as being family members of militants or leaders (inc. children!), civil servants in a Hamas-led government, or even any male above the age of 15 they consider to be a potential combatant! It also deliberately erases Israeli civilians' support of and culpability in Israel's actions towards Palestinians.
4. Netanyahu and/or the Israeli right are the source of conflict.
While it is true that things have gotten inadvertently worse under Israel's various right-wing governments, they are not the source of conflict, but rather a product of extremist nationalism and Jewish supremacy perpetuated by the system. Both the 1967 occupations and settlements were undertaken under centre-left governments in Israel, and Israeli policy under non-right wing governments has been just as harmful towards Palestinians and has paved the way for where we are today. Blaming Netanyahu just also obscures the violent nature of Israel's military occupation over Palestinians which long precede him coming into power.
5. Netanyahu and Hamas are two sides of the same coin
I don't think I've seen any allies give validity to this claim but it's an extremely reductionist claim and is sort of similar to the one above. Groups like Hamas are merely a response to the Israeli occupation while Netanyahu is a byproduct of it. While some Israelis may see Hamas or their actions as an "obstacle to peace," Israel's actions and policies long pre-date Hamas and how Israel is currently responding to Hamas is no different to how Israel has engaged with Palestinian militant groups in the past, regardless of political affiliations or political goals. It is also important to note that Hamas has agreed to the establishment of a state along 1967 borders while Netanyahu aims to prolong the occupation and empower the settler movement (some of whom are part of his coalition government) as much as possible.
6. Israel is not a settler-colonial state.
While it is indisputable that Jews have historical connections to Palestine, that doesn’t automatically make you Indigenous or negate Israeli settler-colonialism. Colonialism in particular describes a relationship of exploitation. There are many cases of this, but we most clearly see this in the West Bank where Israel exploits natural resources on occupied Palestinian territory for its own political and economic gains. In terms of settler-colonialism, it is widely known that Israel expelled hundreds of thousands of Palestinians to make way for Jewish refugees and migrants to the new state of Israel, and is still actively facilitating Jewish migration to Israel today while denying Palestinians their right of return.
7. (X) doesn't help Palestinians.
It is not up to anyone to determine whether certain tactics or strategies are helpful or not. This point only seeks to discredit pro-Palestine organising. Only Palestinians get to decide what is actually helpful for the cause or not.
8. Any sort of Hamas-blaming.
On the surface it may seem like there’s nothing wrong with this, but this point is often harmful and usually lends itself to right-wing talking points because its objective is to deflect blame away from Israel. Certain arguments blaming Hamas also aim to minimise Palestinian suffering perpetuated by Israel. It also paints Israeli violence as retaliatory to Palestinian violence which only obfuscates Israel’s (and by extension, the US’) role in its state military apparatus and the differing power dynamics between Israelis and Palestinians. In other contexts, this point seeks to also legitimise certain opposition, such as the Palestinian Authority. Hamas-blaming also tends to sometimes lead to racist diatribes about Palestinians and their culture.
9. Al-Jazeera is not a credible news source.
Al Jazeera is a news source like any other. It has varying editorial policies and therefore will have equally good reporting on certain issues while having terrible reporting on others. The difference is that Al-Jazeera's news on Palestine is credible because it comes directly from their Palestinian reporters on the ground and first-hand eyewitness accounts. Western news sources are no more or less credible than al-Jazeera. Compare this to CNN, NYT, and any other Western news sources where Palestinian voices are often entirely missing from the narrative.
10. Overemphasis of antisemitism on the left
Antisemitism is a real issue and has the potential to fester in left circles if not directly addressed head on. Combatting antisemitism is extremely important, however, it is not an issue exclusive to the left. There is also a double standard in that no one expects Zionists to call out Islamophobia and anti-Palestinian racism. Certain accusations of "antisemitism" also seek to distract from what's going on in Palestine by making it about Jewish comfort and feelings. Combatting antisemitism, Islamophobia, anti-Arab racism etc is always important as the basis of good politics.
Last but not least, be wary of native collaborators or any sort of normalisers! They are Palestinians or Arabs who try very hard to appeal to Western liberal consensus and can end up perpetuating a lot of harm to the cause and/or other activists. You will know them when you see them.
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unconventional-lawnchair · 5 months ago
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" Dinner Party "
Part 1
Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Potter!Reader
Masterlist
Summary: The Potters throw a dinner party; Mattheo meets the family}
Wc- 4142
Cw: Use of {Y/N}, Harry is a bit of an arse, cussing, sexual themes cussing, just a bunch of fluff and yearning}
Taglist- @helendeath @2dloveshp @hatakemrs
“Well.” Lily spoke slowly. “Look at us now.” 
Lily looked over at you just in time for you to glance up and meet her eyes. She smiled sweetly before she continued. “I think its sweet.”
The tension in the room was slowly beginning to ease. You couldn't help but feel a bit of hope grab hold of your chest. Your eyes flickered between your mother and your father. James, of course, ever protective, still held a look of drastic offense as Lily spoke up again. “I know you're a smart girl, I raised you myself. I knew your partner would be a sore subject.” 
She reached her hand over and placed it over James’ leg. She smiled at him, a look to try and convey everything running threw her head at once. They are kids. Our angel will be okay.
“Why? Did you.. not trust my judgment?” You asked cautiously, your hands slowly fisting the cloth of your pants. 
Lily quickly shook her head. “No, no, nothing like that. Quite the opposite.” She mused and turned to look at James who had closed his eyes and began to even his breaths.
“We used to joke you were perhaps meant to be a Hufflepuff. Darling, you have always seen the best in people, even when others couldn't really see it.” Lily offered and James scoffed. Your mother gave a small grimace before she spoke carefully. “Love is complicated. I can attest to that.” She began, eyeing James as if warning him to challenge her. 
“But love is beautiful. That night, at dinner, was the first time I've ever seen you talk back to us. I was distraught, and I am sorry I reacted the way I did.” She began to fiddle with his pant leg between her fingers. Speaking before you could continue. “It was immature. And if this boy puts so much fire in you, I want to at least meet him.”
Your body stiffened and your eyes widened. Looking between your father and mother as you stammered and tried to stutter out something. “M-meet you guys? We've only been dating a few months now.” You tried to defend.
You loved Mattheo, but he wasn't exactly house trained. He was raised by a house elf and saying the Malfoy’s tried to help raise him would be an exaggeration at the least. He could be polite, charming, he was well mannered when he wanted to be, as he had a smile that could take breaths away. 
But he was also Mattheo Riddle, and the idea of putting him in a room with your father, the other most hotheaded boy you knew, was a terrifying one. Mattheo didn't take kindly to being reminded of his father. It felt cruel to put him in a boxed up room with the very people his parents tried to kill. Not to mention, he got emotional when it came to families. 
You acted like you didn't notice at first, for Merlin's sake you were head over heels for this boy. You would sit in his dorm room, bare to your core and tangled together under the sheets. He would be holding you from behind like you were a vice, telling you about his dreams of a family with love like yours. When you would mention your family, he’d grow tense but stay his stoic self when you would ask. 
It wasn't hard to read him like a book, especially since Mattheo basically read it for you. He had changed a lot in the last few months you'd been with him. You used to fight horribly the first month. He was still so used to his single status, he hadn't really had positive expectations set on him. You explained to him what you wanted, you were patient, then he started to talk and communicate with you more efficiently, copying your behaviors to mimic your maturity. He loved how happy you looked when he improved himself, the praise sick boy wanting any bit you'd give him. When he told you he quit smoking, he let you drown him in praise and kisses, using withdrawal as an excuse for him being more handsy with you.
You soon learned from his friends that he had quit months ago, when you first told him you hated them, the cheek. He didn't even have the sense to look guilty when it came to light, just seemed so damn proud of himself.
In all honesty, it was hard not to adore him. Even when he was being a little arse. You had fallen hard for the loaded gun, and he obeyed you like you were the trigger. That being said.. he was still Mattheo, meeting your parents seemed like a bigger step than when he would drag you under his sheets with a silencing charm. 
“What? Don't want him to meet us?” James spoke up, and you snapped out of your thoughts. He sounded almost hopeful, like you weren't entirely serious about him. You gave him a pout and Lily squeezed his thigh tighter. 
“Do you think it's too soon, lovely?” Your mother asked patiently and you bit your lip. The last thing you wanted to do was lie to your mother. Lying to James was easy, he was a bit of a push over when it came to you, and you never lied about anything truly groundbreaking. But Lily, she had been your best friend for years. She was your mother, your confidant, and she knew more about you than anyone else. Probably helps that she's known you since you were welcomed home.
“... I am just scared.” You admitted and James’s expression shifted to soften. He sat up a bit and Lily gave him a soft smile.
“Why?” Your mother prodded and you curled your knees to your chest. 
“Just.. he's never had this.” You gestured around you. “He can be a bit.. reactive when it comes to stress?” You tried to offer the information carefully and James frowned hard.
“Reactive as in?” He leaned closer and your eyes flashed open wide. 
“No, Merlin, he would never. Not to me.” You tried to defend and the look on your mothers face made you realize what you said.
“That's not- no, I don't mean it like that.” You quickly tried to back track. Lily sent James a smirk. 
James looked at her with a furrowed brow and a slight pout. “What?”
“Just reminds me of how I tried to defend my choice of partner to my parents. Then, to your parents.” Lily laughed and James bit his cheek but smiled to see his wife so happy. You watched the two and your heart throbbed a bit. You loved your parents so much. You wanted that with Mattheo. Were you moving too fast? It was likely. Could this go horribly wrong? Most definitely. 
“Okay.” You spoke up and your parents turned to you “I'll invite him.”
~~~
Mattheo was at the Lestrange manor alone, as usual, but this summer was far different. He usually would busy himself with his friends, going to pointless balls the Malfoy’s insisted he attend, sneaking off with pureblood girls he didn't even remember the names of. Or better, going drinking with his mates from school.
This summer was killing him. The silence of the manor used to bother him before, every footstep sounded like thunder, every breath he made echoed in his ears, but now? Merlin. You came from a loud family, you didn't know the pain of it. When he was with you, the louder things weren't always bad. You always talked a bit louder than him, played music in his dorm with his unused radio, talked to him while you ran your fingers through his hair. It was easy to like the louder things now. He hated quiet.
The silence just reminded him you weren't there. He didn't even remember when his nights spent alone with witches of different backgrounds became nights of desperate yearning for you. Neither of you had said it yet, but even if you were just talking now, he didn't intend to keep it that way. He didn't want anyone else. He couldn't have anyone else. And the idea of you with someone else? He'd rather die.
Theodore Nott had been lettering him to try and get him out of the hell house, but the idea of you lettering him back when he wasn't home ate him up inside. Pansy called him whipped, when he lettered her to ask if he had done something wrong. ‘It’s only been two weeks, let her settle.’ Out of all of his friends, you clicked with her the easiest. It didn't help that he got a bit jealous when you talked to his male friends. He's never cared this much.
He was sure you've had to have hexed him.
Slipped him Amortentia.
Or soaked your entire body in it. 
Maybe it was mixed into that lovely perfume of yours? 
He groaned out and covered his face, leaning back from his desk into his seat. He let his arms go slack at the sides of his chair and looked at the ceiling. He was pathetic, but he wasn't scared of it this time. He liked feeling weak, if it was for you. He bit his bruised bottom lip and turned to look at the window. What would you think of him now? Sitting about with nothing to do but need you. He needed the heavenly haze you gave him. He liked to worship you, like you were all he was beyond his family. 
Two days after he had sent that letter, he was starting to wonder if you had realized your mistake. That being with your family reminded you that Mattheo Riddle was no one. Someone who should remember he was no one. Not worth the time you spared him day to day, that he was just some phase. He didn't know if he could recover from you. He might just throw the towel in if you didn't want him. Who could recover from a love like a prayer? A love that made him think of you like it was a threat. You were a threat. To his sanity. To his reputation. To his status. 
And he was a threat to you. Obsession, he had to agree with Draco. You are an obsession.
His thoughts were thrown out when he noticed something coming into view through his window. He nearly knocked his chair over as he stumbled over to open it. The Potter’s Owl.
~~~
“You're invited to the Potter’s Residence for our first dinner party of the year,”
Mattheo thumbed over the invitation in hand. He was shocked when he first read it, not only did he never expect to be invited to the Potter’s, he definitely didn’t ever expect you to tell your parents enough about him to be invited. He was excited, thumbing the invitation over and over.
He had groomed himself properly, he was in a button up shirt and a green vest, his hair was almost tamed. He was holding the invitation, raising his knuckle to knock on the door.
You snapped to attention from where you were looking in the mirror. You were wearing a deep forest green dress, the one you knew Mattheo loved, and your dad seemed to take that as a personal offense, dressed in his red dress shirt that matched your mothers dress.
“I still don't like this.” Sirius grumbled from his seat on the couch, and Remus rolled his eyes from where he leaned in the doorway. “A bit late, darling.” He mumbled as he watched you walk down the hall to open the door.
Lily requested Harry and James set up the table, leaving just you and her in the immediate room.
You took a deep breath, looking at your mom before she nodded and you turned back. Opening the door you were a bit startled to see Mattheo so put together, you had to remember that he was raised as pureblood royalty, you just never figured you'd see him so done up. You bit your lip a bit and he chuckled at this, snapping you out of your daze. You quickly stepped aside and he walked in, wrapping one of his arms around your waist and pulled you flush against his form, not having noticed Lily yet. 
“I missed you, beautiful.” He whispered, leaning forward to kiss you. The second his lips touched yours, you sighed. Like he unwove every bit of your tense frame with just his touch. You couldn't remember a thing, not why you were so worried, where you were, and how your mother was watching you. For ten whole seconds, with just his soft careful kiss, he had made you dumb. He took a sharp breath and sighed after you, stepping closer.
Lily noticed the signs as it got a bit deeper than just a greeting kiss, and she quickly cleared her throat. You quickly pulled away in a fluster, and Mattheo just followed your lips to give you another quick peck, before he pulled back and gave Lily his dazzling look. “Mrs. Potter, right?” He mused and you had to catch a whine in your throat when he stepped back. He held his hand out and Lily moved to shake it, but instead he took her palm and kissed the back of her wrist. “You have a lovely home, ma'am. I can't say I'm surprised, {Y/N} had taken on your style.” He mused and Lily smirked at him.
“So you've been to my daughter’s dorm, hm?” She asked cheekily and his eyes widened and his face dropped. Like a guilty puppy. “I-”
Lily laughed and waved her hand. “Please, don't feel the need to explain. I'm only joking.”
Mattheo blinked a few times and slowly smiled. You and Lily were a lot alike. It looked like he had an ally already. He let go of her hand and stood up straighter. Waving his hand a bundle of Orchids appeared and he offered them to her. “Well, thank you for welcoming me.”
Your heart swelled at the interaction. Maybe tonight wouldn't be horrible. 
“Riddle, hm?” 
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Sirius stood in the doorway of the parlor room, staring down at Matheo with a harsh glare. Mattheo met his gaze with his usual dissociative state. “Sirius Black, sir? It's nice to meet you.” He mused and offered him his hand. Sirius looked down at his hand then back to Mattheo. Riddle sighed and moved his hand down to his side, a bit startled when you walked up and took it for yourself. 
He smiled at you like a love sick fool, and Sirius felt his lip twitch at the look.
Remus seemed to see it too, ever the helpless romantic, he bit his cheek. Trying to hide a smile. 
Now, Remus despised the idea of you bringing a Riddle into the family. He hated the idea you would possibly, one day carry the last name of the monster that was Tom Riddle. But those thoughts left his head when he saw how you rested your head on his shoulder, your fingers playing with his, like a practiced art, knowing exactly how to soften the blow of rejection from your uncle.
Suddenly, Mattheo was giving that bright smile again, and you felt a bit cocky to be the one to give it to him. Pressing your lips to his shoulder and you peaked over it but just stared at his profile.
“Nice to meet you, again.” Remus mused, offering his hand and Mattheo’s smile only grew, taking his hand and shaking it firm. “Thank you, Professor.”
He shook his head. “Remus is fine.”
Sirius gawked at him in full offense, having lost himself to the boy's charm. 
Before Sirius could make a snappy comment, Lily spoke up. “Well, I'm sure you're hungry, let's go get you fed, hm?”
“Yes ma'am.” Mattheo responded in kind, before glancing down at you by his shoulder and wetting his lips. Leaning down to steal another kiss, Sirius scoffed as he passed you two to get to the table. Remus followed behind him, as Lily waved the two to their seats. 
“Not much for a dinner party, hm?” He mumbled to you and you gave a small laugh. 
“Not all of us are as extravagant as your family.” You teased and he gave a wolfish smirk. “I think you forget, your father is James Potter, famous for his parties if I remember.” He teased and you rolled your eyes before biting your lip. “Yeah, yeah.”
“Not to mention, even if he seems to hate me, Sirius is my family.”
You narrowed your eyes before your eyebrows jumped upward as you pieced together his family tree. Right. His mother was Sirius’s cousin. It suddenly sunk into you just why Sirius seemed to be taking this so seriously. Mattheo was a mix of the two things he hated most, his family and Voldemort. Must be hard to believe anything good could come from those two things.
You shoved the thought away. He could get over himself. You weren't going to throw away everything you and Mattheo were because Sirius couldn't get over his bias. Your father too.
Once you and Mattheo walked into the dining room, it seemed to be going well. There wasn't much conversation between Mattheo and your family, you found yourself talking to each other. Updates on your lives, him whispering how much he missed you, taking every opportunity to drown you in his affections. You were a flustered mess, but smiling the brightest you've had in days. It was like an addiction, his attention. 
You didn't notice Lily's attention on you two, too wrapped up in Riddle. He was the same, looking at you like you were the last person in the world, like you were worth falling for. He sure hoped so, because he was approaching the ground rapidly as your eyes danced his features. It reminded her of something, turning to look at James and was met with the same look as he tried to start up another Quidditch conversation with her. She simply rolled her eyes fondly. How could he not see what was happening?
“So.” Lily spoke up after her conversation with James flickered out. She spoke in a tone that demanded attention. “How did you two meet? When did this start?” She offered and Mattheo bit his cheek and looked at you, for the hundredth time that night. You smiled and looked back at your mom.
“Well, Professor McGonagall asked me to help a student study during lunch periods. I had no clue who it was but I figured it couldn't hurt.” You mused, conveniently not bringing up the bribe. “Then it kind of.. changed. Eventually it just became casual study dates. Like one, I was teaching him how to summon a patronus and-” You lit up as bright as a star as you began your story, before Harry scoffed. Your face fell a bit and you looked over at Harry with a furrowed brow.
Mattheo had to resist the urge to snap at him for taking away such a view.
He looked up at you with a glare. “I've just never met a Death Eater who could use a patronus is all.”
There was a thick silence that filled the room as your jaw went slack. You tried to figure out a way to steer the conversation elsewhere, mouth growing dry.
Lily tried to speak up but Mattheo beat her to it. “Sorry to disappoint, still haven't it seems.” He cheeked and you looked back at him with a laugh. Your mother gave Harry a look that certainly meant danger for him later. Harry didn't even seem to care, just scoffed.
“He summoned a Fox.” You informed your mother and her mouth fell open a bit, her smile brightening. 
“Is that true?” He prodded Mattheo and he nodded. “Yes ma'am.”
Lily looked at James with raised eyebrows, amused, and he shook his head before clicking his tongue. “So. Heard you were in the Quidditch team, what position?” James finally and reluctantly joined the conversation. 
“Beater, sir.” Mattheo mused and smirked, eyeing Harry from the corner of his eye. “Seems someone still miffed over the bludger he took a few weeks ago.”
“Your team cheated.” Harry challenged quickly and Mattheo gave him a wolfish smirk. “Did we? Or is that the only way you'd accept that we got the cup?”
“Watch it, Riddle. I'll make a fool of you next season.” Harry quipped and it actually sounded almost playful. You gave a scoff and Mattheo chuckled. Figures they'd bond over Quidditch of all things.
“Really? A beater?” James spoke up and Mattheo looked over to him with a nod. 
“Sirius was a beater too, we were a fierce team.” James mused and leaned forward. “We created this move…”
Their voices faded out, and you smiled at the scene. It was cordial, almost friendly, as the men at the table talked about the sport with enthusiasm. Well, all safe for Remus who started talking to your mother about a new book recommendation. You just watched how Mattheo seemed to fall into place in your family so easily, and how happy he seemed about it. 
Way too soon, the night was over, and Mattheo was leaving. You and your parents walked him to the door, and he turned to face you.
“Thank you again, Mrs. Potter, the food was amazing. And Mr. Potter, thank you for allowing me to come over.” He mused and your mom shook her head. “Please, anytime sweetheart. Call me Lily.” 
Then, much to your surprise. “Call me James.” Your father mused and took his hand into a firm shake.
Mattheo had this startled look on his face, thrown for a loop before he quickly recovered. “Y-yes sir. I mean James, yes James.”
You giggled and before Mattheo could be given any more surprises, you walked up and hugged his arm. “I'll walk him out of the apparition wards.”
“Don't be gone too long-” James began before Lily covered his mouth and shooed you both off. “Go! We'll be here.” She reassured you.
You pulled Mattheo out the door, leaving Lily to smirk up at James and he groaned. “Okay, the kid isn't that bad.”
“You too!?” Sirius shouted from across the house and Lily laughed. 
~~~
You walked with Mattheo, managed to get just a few yards from the house before his lips were on yours. He had stopped completely, wrapping his arms around your waist and almost toppled you over when he leaned over your frame so easily. You let your hands slide up to his biceps and he gave a low groan, pulling away before he got too far. 
You took a sharp puff of air and steadied your breathing. Your eyes met his deep dark ones. He was looking at you with something so familiar and yet it was hungrier than you'd ever seen before. “Mattheo-”
“Tonight was amazing.” He whispered and took your lips again. This time, you actually managed to prepare yourself. Your hands slipped behind his neck and into his gelled hair. Pouting into the kiss and he smirked. “What?”
“Your hair. I hate it like this.” You mumbled into his lips, not wanting to break the kiss. Mattheo laughed and pulled his wand from his pocket, waving it to return his hair to his naturally fluffy glory. 
“That better?” He teased, giving a toothy smirk as he watched you lick your lips clean of him. 
“Much.” This time, you started the kiss, earning a low yelp from him. He chuckled and pushed you against the wall of your fathers property. Hands roaming lower, as you tilted your head back, his new target being your neck.
“You’ve been driving me mad all night, ya know that?” He breathed against your collarbone, fingers fiddling with the end of your dress. “Had to look your father in the eye tonight, and you still wore this? All I could think of was the last time you wore it.” 
You gave a low gasp when his fingers lipped just under the small skirt. “M-Mattheo-”
“I've missed you, beautiful. The last two weeks were torture, you know that? Know what you do to me?” He mumbled against your skin. Your eyes grew hazy the more he spoke. Like he was controlling you with his words. Suddenly, his head snapped up and he looked just past you. 
“Huh. Do you guys have a dog?” He asked and you snapped out of your trance when you heard a loud roar from behind you. “And.. a stag? You have dogs and deer on your property?” He asked and you simply covered your face and gave a loud groan.
“Dad!!”
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loucifersbitch · 4 months ago
Text
He can't breathe. 
It's been half an hour.
He's soaked through.
He can barely hear through the wind and the yelling and the panic.
He can't see as well as usual, as if his vision has been reduced to a small tunnel, his peripheral vision nearly nonexistent.
He's numb and probably cold - he stopped feeling it around the 10 minute mark - and he can't. fucking. breathe.
Suddenly he hears it. There's a pop followed by a bang and then he's running. He doesn't know if he yelled at the rest of the team or if they heard it, too, but they're all with him as he bursts through a bush and dodges a tree, nearly sprinting toward the area where the sound came from.
He may have long legs, but Chimney’s faster as he cuts across in front of him, yelling something over his shoulder that Buck doesn't quite catch. The rain is so loud and so heavy, but they run as fast as the terrain will allow.
And then it's in front of them, the yellow and white body of the helicopter mangled amongst the downed trees, a weak line of smoke pouring out of the tail and immediately doused by the downpour. And a gloved hand sticking out of the cockpit window, lying on the ground at an unnatural angle. Not moving. Too still.
“Tommy,” he croaks. It's then that he realizes he's crying - has been for a while if the gravel in his voice is anything to go by.
They should've gotten here sooner. They should've found the crash site earlier. They should've left the station as soon as the mayday call came in. They could've saved at least a few minutes by leaving their turnouts behind. They would've -
“I've got a pulse!” Hen yells over the rain. He hadn't even noticed her or Chim move. “It's strong! He's just unconscious. Possible TBI, obvious compound fracture to the left ulna and radius, a few lacerations that I can see from here.”
Buck releases a sob, and his legs give out, but two pairs of hands catch him before he goes down. 
Chim is climbing into the cockpit gingerly, trying not to jostle anything - or Tommy. After a few moments, he yells, “Ravi, I need that backboard!”
“I got him, I got him,” Bobby says as Ravi leaves Buck’s side. Buck leans into Bobby and turns his head to his other side where - Eddie, of course - is also holding him steady.
“We got you, Buck,” Eddie says. Then he adds, “And they’ve got Tommy. They’ll get him out, and we’ll all go to the hospital with him.”
“A-all of you, too?” Buck grits out.
“Yeah, Buck. All of us,” Bobby answers. “You know that’s what we do when one of our family is injured. Tommy’s family, too.”
Buck can only nod. He swallows roughly. He’s already lost the battle with his emotions, but he knows his voice will crack and he’ll break down again if he thanks Bobby out loud.
Time is moving differently than it should. Soon he finds himself in the back of the ambulance with no recollection of how he got there. But he has Tommy’s good hand in his own, and that’s all that matters right now.
Tommy’s cold and drenched, and his face is covered in micro lacerations, and there’s a distinct smell of fuel hanging in a haze around them, but Tommy’s here. His hand is as soft as it always is and his pulse is beating steadily under Buck’s fingers lingering on his wrist. Hen and Chim work nearby, running IVs and giving Tommy medications and moving around Buck without disturbing him. They set his arm as well as they can, and he can hear Bobby in the front seat call in their ETA to the nearest ER, letting them know what to prep for.
They’re almost to the hospital when Tommy’s eyes flutter open briefly.
“Ev-?” he starts to say, his voice raspy, but Buck cuts him off.
“I’m here, baby. We’re all right here. We’ll be at the hospital soon. We’ve got you.”
Buck doesn’t know if Tommy can even comprehend what he’s saying, but Tommy hums in acknowledgement before immediately passing out again.
Then the doors of the ambulance swing open, and Tommy is out of sight in seconds. 
part 1
part 3
part 4
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saltnsugarbear · 18 days ago
Text
an inch away from more than just friends (18+)
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summary: based on the word prompt "I wanted you to be my first" with Carmy!
title from: "Naked In Manhattan" by Chappell Roan
word count: 5.1k
content warnings: beginnings of smut!!! MDNI!! stripper reader (can still be read as gn!), kissing, swearing, teasing Carmy, innuendos left and right, unprotected sex, brief fingering
side note: if anyone wants to yap about Carmy and stripper reader in my inbox after this, please do!!! they're rotting my brain. i love this dynamic <3 I'm actually so excited to post this raahh!!!
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Living in New York was expensive.
This is no secret. But the results meant you worked two jobs. One as a bar tender and one as.... An exotic dancer. To put it kindly.
Two night jobs gave you mostly nocturnal habits, but the tips were good. Most of them were in ones and you couldn't exactly pay for everything with a band of dollar bills.
Which is how you ran into Carmy. Outside of a bank. He was lost and you were in a rush to get to the bar.
"Shit- Watch where you're fuckin' goin'!" You hiss as you stumble back, adjusting your bag strap as you steady yourself.
Your first interaction resembled those videos of puppies and senior dogs. You berating him mildly, him knocking you down with a few sentences and you hesitating before going back to nipping his ankles. You're embarrassed now by the way you trailed after him on the sidewalk. You followed this man just because he ran into you on accident.
Carmy has never told you why he didn't yell at you on that day. Why he didn't tell you off for following him through two stoplights. Just like how you couldn't explain why you felt the need to berate this curly-haired stranger in the middle of New York. It also ended up being a pure matter of coincidence when one of your regulars took you to dinner. A dinner that resulted in a kitchen tour that led you back to the man who ran into you.
You stuck around enough to pry a phone number out of him. He was easy to crack, batting your lashes at him and quiet pleading.
He didn't anticipate quite how many notifications you'd wrack up on his phone. He felt obnoxious, being the person whose phone was always buzzing. You were like a labrador chasing at his heels for his attention. Carmy felt bad about when he tried ghosting you. Letting you lead a one-sided conversation for a day.
Just when he thought he'd gotten rid of his distraction, you showed up in the alleyway where he smoked after work. You were already out there when he got outside, leaning against the wall with a cigarette on your lips. That night you managed to convince him to give you a ride to the club after coming all the way out to Daniel to scold him for trying to ghost you.
The first time Carmy pulled up in front of the club, his face flushed bright pink. When you turned to thank him, you couldn't help but tease him over it.
"Aw, Carmen! You didn't tell me you've never been to a club before," You smile at him sweetly.
"Carmy," He says quickly, trying to clear his throat. "Just Carmy is fine."
His words make you hum, watching him as you rest your head against the headrest.
"Wanna come in? Can give you a free dance for the ride," You offer him, smile widening as you watch flush work over his ears and down his neck.
"I uh- I've got to um- I can't I gotta-" He stutters, trying to get out some excuse.
"Fuckin' with you, Carmen," You giggle as you open the passenger door. "You gotta pay for a dance just like everyone else."
You bid him thank you and goodnight after you climbed out of his car, blowing him a kiss through the window as you went inside. And thus started your friendship with Carmy. Although unconventional, you intrigued him. He had never hung out with someone so.... Brazen. Someone so sure about who they were and so different. Someone like you usually trailed after Mikey, fawning over him in hopes he might take you to dinner or to his bed. You were so different from Carmy that it just... Worked.
You brought a different sort of comfort in Carmy. Neither one of you had any expectations for this, and that was enough.
You took to inviting yourself to Carmy's apartment in the beginning before he started asking you over every night. You never expected him to make you dinner but after a few nights of your intrustion, he started asking about your favorite dishes. Started cooking for someone other than himself or a customer.
Which is how you ended up in his kitchen, telling him about your day before work. Complaining about your car that had been acting up and smoking out of the tire well.
"My car's in the shop.." You pout, leaning against the counter, twirling your pen between the surface and your fingers.
"Yeah?" Carmy asks, distantly. He's making you dinner before you have to leave for your shift.
"'S gonna be... Stupid expensive," You sigh, laying your arms on the counter and resting your chin on your forearm. "And Sierra has been askin' for lots of my shifts so I'm not gettin' as much as usual... Gonna be tight between that and rent... 'S my luck though.."
Carmy glances back when you sigh, heart twisting when he sees how your lip juts out with your cheek pressed against your arm.
Carmy tries not to let his thoughts run too wild. Godforbid he messes a good thing up. But it's really hard when you're looking up at him with wide eyes and mouth twisted in a pout. It's easy to let his mind wander to another scenario where you'd look at him like that. Hands resting on your thighs as you sit on your knees, eyes practically begging him to take off his jeans.
He's quick to turn back to the stove, distracting his mind from those thoughts by focusing on what he knew. Food. Not sex and definitely not how you'd look in bed.
Carmy distracts himself with plating dinner. He pulls out two of his pasta bowls and plates up the chicken alfredo you begged him to make for you tonight. Not that you really had to, he would make anything you asked him to. Carmy can hear your hum of excitement as you stand up straight. You've learned to watch Carmy work from the counter instead of trying to help. It just created a bigger headache for the both of you.
Once he's finished plating and puts the bowl in front of you, you give him a quick 'thank you' befire digging in. You carry most of the conversation, making sure to let Carmy know when you wanted his feedback (you learned early-on that Carmy was content to listen, even when you prompted him for a response. He needed to be invited to share his thoughts with you). To anyone else his responses would seem disinterested, but you knew him enough that anything more than a half stuttered few words was good for you.
Carmy does let you help clean up. Letting you pack up the extra food Carmy has started to include so you could take something to your dancer friends or to take home. Carmy focused on rinsing dishes off before putting them in the dishwasher.
You've both fallen into a routine. Once you're both done cleaning, Carmy goes to his room to collect his things for work. You collect your bag from the living room and slip on your shoes and coat.
When you're both ready, Carmy corals you out the door and letting you lead him to the parking garage across from his apartment building. Again the car is filled by your chatter and Carmy's limited input as he drives you to work.
There's a weird vibe when Carmy pulls up to the curb in front of the club. His fingers tap erratically on the wheel and he looks like he's deep in thought. You're about to climb out of the car when he speaks up.
"Y'know, I could um... I could foot the uh, the mechanic bill for ya?" Carmy suggests.
"What?" You ask, turning back towards him quickly.
"For your car... Could pay it off for ya.." He shrugs like it's not a big deal.
"Carm.." You sigh, preparing to turn down what's actually a great offer.
"'S not a big deal promise. You're tight on money and I don't want y'stressin' and risk missin' out on more.." He says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. It's a moments hesitation before you throw your arms around him, leaning over the center console to give him a hug.
"Thanks, Carm," You mutter in his jacket before pulling away. "Means a lot."
You turn back and open the door before turning back to him. Carmy makes a noise of surprise when you place a quick kiss to his cheek, admiring the light lipgloss stain on his cheek. You climb out before he can say anything, ducking down to peer at him from the sidewalk, "Thank you, Carmen!"
You wave him goodbye as he pulls away from the curb, face bright red and stomach full of butterflies.
He's so fucked.
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You hope to God Carmy actually picks up his phone. He usually does but you can never be too sure on Carmy's time on his phone.
You're standing in the alley outside of the club, jacket wrapped around you but it's not enough to warm your legs.
"Hey," Carmy's voice is groggy, making your stomach twist with guilt.
"Shit, I'm sorry, Carm.." You sigh, ashing your cigarette.
"No, what's up?" Carmy cuts you off and you sigh again.
"I uh.... I need a ride.. Guy was bein' a major dick and I... I got mad at him and Angie's sendin' me home early.." You tell him. You hadn't bothered changing before you walked out of the club, only grabbing your jacket before you stormed off.
"Give me ten minutes." Carmy's words are final when he says them. He gives you a moment to object before hanging up.
You don't bother to go back inside to grab your things, running on the anger from your customer and manager. It's less than ten minutes before Carmy pulls up to the curb. You climb in the moment the car stops, missing the double take Carmy does when he sees how much of your legs are exposed. You're too busy taking one last hit from your cigarette before dropping it to the sidewalk. When you turn back into the car, Carmy has to tear his eyes away from your thighs, looking for an opening to pull away from the club. He lets you wallow in silence before it hits you.
"Oh, fuck me," You sigh, leaning against your hand on the door and rubbing at your brow.
"What?" Carmy glances at you briefly before flicking on his turn signal.
"Left my keys in my bag and fuckin'- Left my bag at work and I don't-" You sigh heavily, rubbing your hand over your eyes. "I don't have clothes at your place and I can't get home. I'm such a fuckin' mess tonight, I'm sorry.."
"'S okay," Carmy says, taking the gap in cars to pull into the parking lot.
"Carm-" You start.
"It's okay, really. Just give you some of my clothes and I'll uh- I'll sleep on the couch," He says, eyes scanning for a parking spot as if he didn't just invite you to spend the night.
"I'm not gonna make y'do that, Carmy," You tell him while he prepares to reverse into a spot.
"Not makin' me do anything," Carmy tells you once he's parked in the spot. "Now let's get upstairs cause it's fuckin' cold."
You hadn't noticed before but Carmy's only dressed in sweatpants and one of his stupid white t-shirts. You watch as he tucks his hands into his pockets, trying not to stare at the way how his ass looks and how his thighs fill them out.
"Fuckin' stupid f'not grabbing my pants.." You mutter grumpily, bringing the borrowed jacket tight around you. Carmy huffs a few steps in front of you, taking the opportunity to glance at your legs again. Both of you crowd together as you cross the street and enter the apartment building. The building is warmer, making you loosen your hold on the jacket. Being enclosed with Carmy in the elevator makes you open it even more, making Carmy avert his gaze.
You make it more difficult by tucking in close to him, slipping your phone between both of you to snap a quick picture. He still hasn't figured out he doesn't need to look at the screen. When he looks down at your phone, his eyes catch on the deep cut of your top. His breathe catches in his throat at all the skin there, taking in every inch of it.
Within a moment he tears his eyes away, glancing at the numbers as they ding by. Carmy doesn't pay much mind as you hum next to him, bumping him with your shoulder softly. He's gotten used to your casual affections.
Carmy let's you lead him to his apartment door, slipping past you to unlock the door. You still smell like the body spray you showed him. You kept boasting about how it was vanilla and shea and how much you liked it. One of the girls at work had told you about it, and Carmy mentally thanks her for it. Carmy let's you into his apartment, stepping off to the side to toe off his shoes. You sigh as you step in the space, beelining for the island. You drop your phone and cigarette pack before you start shrugging off your jacket. When Carmy looks up from his shoes he feels like he's fucking buffering.
There's so much skin on display and he has to blink hard to fight getting a hard-on. He's not sure what he was thinking, that you had put on a shirt before storming out of work? With the coat off, Carmy can see where your shorts hug your ass, a little bit slipping out of them. He traces up from there to where your top cuts across your skin, breaking up your lower and upper back. There's something else around your middle, a belt of bead strands that clack when you move around and flash refracted light around the room.
You hum as you step out of your shoes, tweaking a strand of hair as you set your jacket on the counter.
"I can sleep on the couch," You tell him, as you turn around to lean back against the counter. He still cringes as you push yourself onto the counter. Carmy's given up on asking you to not. Now he's kind of grateful for it.
"No, it's fine. You can jus' take my bed, not a big deal. Just for tonight, right?" Carmy has to turn away from you to put his locks in place but he can catch your hum as you kick your legs lightly.
"I guess," You sigh. Carmy shakes his head lightly as he walks past the kitchen to his room. You slip off the counter and follow him, beads clacking as you do.
You're not sure why you're surprised that Carmy's room is bland. The rest of his apartment was exactly decorated until you brought things into it. His bedroom was the one room you hadn't seen yet.
"Boring room, Carm.." You tell him, taking it in before your eyes go to where he's digging through his closet. He gives a short hum in acknowledgment but doesn't say anything. While you wait you cross to the bed, sitting at the foot for a moment before you decide to flop back against the mattress.
"What did-" Carmy starts before he turns around. He cuts himself off when he sees you splayed out on his bed, hands resting on your stomach as you trace patterns on the ceiling.
"What did what?" You ask, turning your head so you can see him. Carmy has to clear his throat, folding the sweater he has in half and then in half again.
"What did that uh- that guy from the club? What'd he do?" He asks, setting the sweater on the mattress before he goes to his dresser. He had to buy it when you told him he can't store his extra jeans in the oven. Mostly because he was using it more now that he had you.
You groan loudly, turning back to the ceiling. "Was jus' bein'a dick! Tried coppin' feels left and right, and when I finally told him to stop being a sleazy jackass he got mad and caused a ruckus about me being an ungrateful bitch and then Angie got involved and well.."
You trail off because after Angie had gotten involved you stormed off and called Carmen. You sigh heavily and Carmy turns to look at you before looking back at his dresser.
"I uh.." He clears his throat quietly. "I don't really have... Any shorts or anything, just like uh.. Sweats, jeans.."
"That's okay!" You chirp, pushing yourself up. You lean back against your hands, tilting your head as Carmy turns back to you. You don't miss the way he pushes his back against the furniture, like he's trying to melt into it.
"This'll do," You grab the sweater, running your thumbs over the fabric softly. Carmy nods and you give him a bright grin. "Be back in like... Two minutes!"
Carmy watches as you duck out of his room and make your way to the bathroom. He crosses to the foot of his bed and sits next to where you had been. He squeezes his eyes shut when he hears the door lock click. He tries filling his head with anything he can to keep his thoughts away from you splayed out on his sheets half-dressed.
It turns out that trying not to think about something only makes him think about it more.
Carmy does everything he can think of. Thinks of Chef Daniel, of the dish he was working on this morning. Of Sugar and how he should call her back. Hell, he even let's his mind wander to his mother. But somehow his mind always turns back to you laying back against his bed.
He opens his eyes quickly as he hears you open the bathroom door and the sound of your beads getting farther. He assumes your putting your things with you jacket in the kitchen. It's maybe a minute before you make it back to the doorway to the bedroom.
You look like a vision in his sweater. It's an old navy-colored pullover, 'Brooklyn' across your chest in fuzzy, white letters.
"Very tourist of you," You tell him, pulling at the hem to look at the words. You glance up just in time to find him rolling his eyes at your words, a soft flush dusting his cheeks.
His eyes follow you as you cross to the bed.
"Needed to get some kind of clothes.." He mutters as you climb onto the bed. He doesn't miss the way you huff, shuffling up to the pillows. When he glances back at you he gets an eye full of your baby pink underwear of your work clothes. His eyes widen before his eyes dart quickly up to your face. You're not paying attention, moving one of the pillows over to rest against the other.
"Carmy-" You start, and he feels like he's been caught red-fucking-handed but you didn't even catch him looking. You turn to sit, legs folded out in front of you. He hums for you to continue.
"Lay with me for a little?" You ask him, like you're asking him to hand you something. Like it's normal.
"What?" He chokes out. You huff, the air from it ruffling your hair.
"Lay with me? Stay a little bit before I go to bed?" You cock your head a little, looking at him with wide eyes.
"And do what?" He asks. He doesn't know why he's fucking asking but Jesus Christ you want him to lay in bed with you and his brain is kind of malfunctioning.
You shrug, "I don't know... Sit and talk?"
Carmy seems reluctant, like he doesn't want to be in the room any longer than he has to. Maybe you crossed a line.
"You don't have to," You start, back pedaling on your offer. "Just usually have some sort of like.... Background noise when I go to bed. But my phones gonna die, don't want to steal your charger from you too, tonight."
"Uh... Sure. Yeah, sure.." Carmy sounds hesitant but he gets up and makes his way to the other side of the bed, sitting back against the pillow you left.
You grin at him brightly, curling up against your pillows and tucking your legs under the blanket.
"Tell me about work," You tell him, eyes darting around his face. You always encourage him to tell you about what he does at Daniel, asking questions if you don't know or understand something.
He starts off with reminding you of the dish he did the previous day before coming back to what he did today. You nod along as he describes the menu and the specific dish he had today. You liked watching how animated he could get when talking about a dish.
You let him talk as you rest your head against your hand. You can't help but trace over his features, watching as he licks his lower lip quickly when he pauses. You don't mean to interrupt him.
"Can I kiss you, Carmen?" You ask him softly. Carmy stares at you wide-eyed, mouth open in mid-sentence. His ears are bright pink.
"What?" He blinks a few times.
"Can I give you a kiss?" You say again, like it's the most normal question you could ask him.
"I- Uh- Sure?" He sounds unsure and it makes you furrow your brow.
"Yes or no, Carm," You prompt him gently.
"Yes," He nods quickly, much more sure this time. You give him a quick smile before you're adjusting yourself. You're sitting on your knees now, shuffling forward until they're pressed against Carmy's thigh.
You don't miss how he fidgets and you grab his hand with your left one. "Just a kiss, Carmy."
That's the last thing you say before you bring your right hand to the side of his face and pull him into you. Your lips are soft, is what he first notices. So is your hand. The kiss is chaste and it feels like it's over too soon.
When you pull away, Carmy trails after you, lips ghosting yours as he tries to follow.
"Carm-"
"Please," He cuts you off before kissing you again. Carmy brings the hand from yours to your face, holding you close. You get experimental, turning your head to change the angle. Carmy follows your lead, bringing his hand from his lap to sneak under the hem of your sweater. He pulls at your hip until you get the hint.
Climbing onto his lap gives you the opportunity to deepen the kiss, pulling at his lower lip gently before you slip your tongue into his mouth. His whine is slightly muffled, letting you explore as you please. His grip on your hip tightens as you lower your weight fully on his lap. You don't miss the tent of his sweats pressing against your lower stomach.
You give an experimental roll of your hips, nudging your core just a little over his bulge. He inhales sharply before pulling away, grabbing for the hand that's holding his face.
"I don't um.. I've never..." Carmy trails off. He won't meet your eye, instead focusing on where his hand is holding your wrist.
"Oh! No, that's okay, baby," You coo softly to him, rocking your hips slowly. "Only ever been with like, two people so don't worry.. Pretty new t'this too."
Carmy groans as you continue to drag your core over the tent in his pants. He drops his head to your shoulder, turning his face so he can press soft kisses to your neck.
The kisses are featherlight as Carmy let's himself get lost in the movements of your hips. He groans quietly into your skin when you slowly pick up the pace.
"I uh-" Carmy starts against your skin. You're quick to slip your hand into his curls, guiding his head back so you can hear him clearly. His face is flushed pink as you look at him.
"I want you... I um- I want you to be... Be my first.." He says ths words softly, his eyes are tracing the skin of your neck, mind wandering to how it would look covered in kisses.
"Carm.." You coo softly, bringing your hand from his hair to guide his gaze to yours. "You sure?"
He nods quickly, eyes flicking between yours. "Please?"
Who are you to say no when he asks so prettily?
"Okay," You giggle softly, bringing him into another kiss. This time Carmy tries taking control, prodding gently until you open your mouth to him. He tries to remember how you kissed him, making you huff before you pull away.
"Don't think too hard.." You tell him, placing a gentle kiss to his chin. You nip softly at his jaw before coming back to kiss him. He lets you take back the lead, letting his hands come to rest against your thighs. You bring your hands to his and lead them under your sweater, resting just over your waistband.
Carmy takes the hint, tracing over the skin he glanced earlier. As if to give him some idea, you slip your hands under his own shirt. You let your fingers skim over his abs, following the light trail of hair up his chest. He inhales when you brush your thumbs over both his nipples, pressing his chest into your hands.
You smile against his mouth, pulling away so you can catch your breathe.
However Carmy takes that as the opportunity to kiss at your neck, ducking to nip at your neck. You whine quietly, slowing your hips down to a stop. Carmy groans when you lift your hips but once he realizes why he's less upset. You tug at his waistband, wiggling it as much as you can without his help.
Carmy helps, lifting his hips and hooking his thumbs in his waistband and shoving them to his thighs. You inhale softly when his cock springs free.
Carmy was humble. To say the least.
He didn't act like he had a big dick. He didn't try to boast about it if he ever got the chance. Blush works it's way down his neck at your noise. You're staring transfixed at his cock like you've never seen something like it.
When you look back up you drag Carmen into a sweet kiss. You kiss him slowly, cradling his face as you drag your clothed core over his exposed head. Carmy whimpers into your mouth, taking your lower lip between his.
He lets you go to catch his breath. He can't think of a time he's been more turned on in his life
"Y-You're panties are so- so wet.." Carmy says between pants. He says them like they're not the filthiest thing to leave his mouth.
"Uh-huh," You nod, placing kisses to his jaw.
"Can I please?" One of Carmy's hands has slipped to your waistband, slowly creeping towards your clit. You whine softly into his neck as he ghosts his fingers lower. You can't help but rock your hips into his hand, letting his fingers skim over your entrance.
"Yes, Carmy, yes." You trace a vein with your tongue. He hooks his fingers into your underwear, already prodding at your hole with two fingers.
"Oh my god," Carmy sighs, pressing his mouth against your hair. His breathing ruffles your hair and he has to shut his eyes at feeling of your slick. He dips his fingers into your entrance, making you bite softly at his neck. He pushes until his up to his knuckles. His fingers reach deeper than your own and the heel of his hand presses delightfully against your clit.
Carmy watches in awe as you pull back from his neck and ride his fingers. He gives a few experimental thrusts that make your jaw drop. After a few minutes of this, you bring Carmen into a quick kiss, tugging at his lower lip.
"Need more, Carm," You tell him, lifting your hips off his hand. Carmy mourns the loss as you reach for his dick. His mourning is short-lived when your fingers encircle him, groaning as you angle his head against your entrance. You sink down slowly, and Carmy feels like he could come with just his tip inside you. He won't, but Jesus fucking Christ.
"So fuckin' warm.." Carmy sighs. He holds your hips tightly, keeping you in place. You put your hands on top of his, squeezing them tightly as you sink lower. His jaw drops open at the feeling of your walls around him. You clench around him gently, pulling him into a messy kiss. He pulls back to breathe when you thighs sit flush to his. Having you seated on his cock alone almost makes him come but he has to tense his stomach to prevent it.
Carmy's head falls back against the wall, chest rising and falling heavily as you sit flush in his lap. You can't help but bring your hands to his face, holding him gently as you take in the sight.
"You're so pretty, Carm.." You tell him softly, soothing a thumb over his cheekbone. You're too distracted to notice the twitch against your walls.
"Don't- Fuck- Don't say that..." Carmy mutters, leaning into your touch.
"Say what?" You're confused, tilting your head to one side with a furrowed brow.
"Call me pretty... Make me fuckin'- fuckin' bust b'fore I can move.." He grunts softly as he adjusts his hips. You squeak when his movements justle you, pressing deeper against you.
"Fuck-" You sigh, ducking your head to the side. You can't help the way your eyes flutter shut, soothing your thumb over his skin to keep you grounded. Once Carmy settles back down you pull him into a slow kiss, taking his lower lip between your teeth to tug at gently.
You roll your hips into his, relishing the way he groans into your mouth. The noise trails into a whimper as you clamp your walls around him, making his hands hold on tight to your thighs. The sound makes your head spin, pulling away to catch your breath and hold Carmy's face back as he tries to chase your lips.
You smooth your thumbs over the curls above his ears, while you collect yourself. Carmy ruts his hips up into you, making you squeal softly at the motion.
"Relax, relax," You pull away to catch his eyes. His pupils are blown wide when he gazes at you, blinking softly. You can't help but smile at him.
"Let me make you feel good.."
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titan-senpai · 1 year ago
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What the hell?? Pt.2
A young lady who was a model lived on earth ended in a tragic way.. and ended up in hell somehow? While she cant hurt a fly.. Right?
Warning!!: Cursing, Smoking, Drinking.
Part 1.
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" Welcome to the Vees my dear.." Vellvette said smiling, taking lipstick from her pocket. "Pucker up" I bent down to her height as she put that dark shade of lipstick on me " Now your ready." She smirked putting the lipstick away and grabbing a different phone from bag
"I never got your name" She typed away on the phone chewing bubblegum.
" It's Y/N.." she typed some more. " I made you a social media account" Throwing an object that looks like a phone at me. " It's the latest Hellphone.. enjoy it." She smiled. " Pose dear" She pulled out her phone pointing it at the mirror. As i leaned into her smiling.
" Posted!" She typed away. "Let's get you back to val and vox." I nodded following her to another room that looked like another office.
I felt my phone go off like crazy, opening an app called Sinstagram? opening my account Darling_Y/N? seeing 200K followers in a minute? Looking at the tagged post.
-Say Hello to our new play thing.. Y/N <3 @ Darling_Y/N
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"Good Afternoon, My name is Katie Killjoy." " And i'm Tom Trench"
"This afternoon we've got some SPICY gossip about the Overlords." Katie said, showing her spiky smile.
"but also tonight we will have a speech by Lucifer Himself! with the one and only Princess of Hell Charlie." Tom said putting some papers aside. "Stay tuned for more!" She smiled. The camera cutting off " Were done here Bitch." She cursed.
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"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE VEL?!" Vox yelled angrily, destroying a tv in the process.
" Chill Gramps." It's just a post." She laughed taking a seat patting the chair next to her. " A SMALL POST?! SHE'S GOING VIRAL IT'S BEEN 4 MINUTES!" he yelled more. " At Least She's trending." she said as i took a seat next to her.
"Have you figured out what your talent is?" Val Stood across me smoking some more. i nodded showing my hands as they lit up. Making a dress out of thin air. "That's quite interesting.." Val walked closer holding the object... Vox calmed down.
" Can you make lingerie?" Val smiled.
"i can try?" I made a white set with angel wings..
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"Hey Y/N you ready for the runway?" The staff said. Fixing my hair and the cast putting the finishing touches of my makeup. "Yes." I walked to the stage curtain in full confidence " You're on in 3..2..1!" As she said that, I walked to the stage of the Victoria's secret angels catwalk.
Walking around in full confidence smiling at the camera posing and giving the camera a kiss and a wave. walking back spinning around taking one last pose as I walked to the curtain behind screens.
staff helping me take off the heavy wings off as they slip a robe around me, walking to the lounge for the models grabbing a smoothie. as i heard more heels clank around me. " hey Y/N right?" A voice said behind me. Turning around revealing a gorgeous woman with brown wavy hair with full lips. " My name is Adriana" She smiled while grabbing a drink. She had amazing face, Body and posture. I wish i was more like her.
"I loved your walk by the way" She checked her phone. "Thank you! It's such an honor meeting you" I smiled mentally slapping myself for saying that. " No, it's my pleasure. I've been seeing you alot these days, you're going to be a great kid." She waved giving me an air kiss. I walked to my changing room putting my drink down hearing moans in the bathroom. "Honey?" I took off my heels slipping on fuzzy slippers. walking closer to the bathroom that wasn't locked leaning my ear on the door.
"What if we get caught.." A woman said "She won't. just focus on me" that voice.. I kicked the door open. " What's going on here?" I stood there shocked to see my boyfriend shirtless with a model. "how could you Kyara.." I pulled her by her hair away from him. " Ow ow owowow-" she yelled as I dragged her by her hair out of my changing room. " Just you wait.." I closed the door and locked it.
" Let me explain, dear.." He put his hands up. " No explanation. Leave.. were done." I yelled angrily. as heels clanked behind me. yelling at him. turning around to look at the sound as Kyara my best friend was holding a crowbar as my boyfriend held me still 
before i knew it i woke up in hell..
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hispg · 1 year ago
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Love
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Pairings: Fuckboy! Leon X Fem! Reader
Summary: Maybe he loves everything about you, or maybe he hates you. Yet he always looks for you when he needs you.
That must mean something, right?
Wc:2.6k
Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, p in v, masturbation( m receiving), reverse cowgirl, smoking during sex, mentions of weed and alcohol, slightly praise/degradation, toxic relationship, light angst, finger riding.
An: I should have posted this a few days ago, but recently I've been feeling quite insecure about my writing.Even so, I decided to post it.
Also as a thank you to the 600 followers! Seriously! Last month I had 200, and now I've basically tripled that!I feel very grateful and happy that each and every one of you takes the time to read what I write! Leaving a comment or reblogging, the likes also motivate me a lot! That's very special to me.
If all goes well, tomorrow I'll post 2 pieces of smut, one related to Leon being your childhood friend (more cute and awkward? Idk), and the other will be with breeding kink (🤨). It'll be kind of a thank you to the 600 followers.
Thanks again! 💖💖💕
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He loves the way your body lies on the floor, he loves the way you breathe. The breathless smile you give him every time you've just had sex.
Or even the way you let yourself be so exposed to him, lying completely naked, without a shred of shame.
He may love all this about you, but he doesn't love you. If that makes any sense.
Maybe he's too fucked up to be thinking like that, or maybe he's blaming it on the weed. Even if he was quite lucid.
He already knew he'd be leaving soon, it was always like that. Sex without commitment, just for fun. He insisted on muttering these phrases to himself every time he was with you.
You made him feel so alive that he even forgot that it wasn't supposed to mean anything, it was just another fling.
If it was just one more, why did he keep coming back to you? Why was it that every time he wanted to talk late at night he called you, at the very least it had to mean something. Or maybe it was just a coincidence of fate?
He can't say, to be quite honest. He was probably just thinking too much, maybe he just liked you for the affection you gave him, which frankly he adored.
Maybe he'd fallen under that spell.
"Are you leaving?" You ask in a whisper, offering the same sweet smile as always.
"Soon, doll." He says in a whisper, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.
It seems you've managed to take his mind off his own thoughts, and now he's looking you up and down with a thoughtful expression.
After a few seconds he responds with a nod, taking a cigarette from his pack and lighting it.
Gestures like that weren't common from him, but it was different with you. And frankly, it made your heart flutter every time.
You knew you shouldn't feel anything for him, you always did. But who says the heart obeys reason?
"Can't you sleep here?" You asked in a purr, laying your head on his lap and lightly kissing his thighs.
He sighed, taking a long drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke away from your face.
"You know I won't." The answer was always the same, he didn't even try to disguise it every time you asked.
It wasn't that he couldn't, it was that he didn't want to. And he wouldn't give in so easily.
Nobody said you couldn't make him have a reason to stay, or that you couldn't induce him to say yes for once.
"Don't look at me like that." He mutters, giving you a weak sideways smile.
He knew that look, he knew all the tricks you played on him. And hell if he said he didn't like every one of the things that you do for him.
You still didn't stop, kissing and kneading his inner thighs, watching him as you did it. Letting him stare into your gentle eyes as you tried to persuade him with your antics.
"You're so fucking dirty…" He says under his breath, taking another drag on his cigarette.
He didn't stop looking at you for a second, his hand coming up to stroke your hair, making it clear that you wanted him to continue, and that you had his permission to do whatever you wanted.
He didn't care, in any case if you questioned him about his softer attitudes, he would just say it was the effect of the weed.
Even if it was just a lie to disguise his pride.
Even if you didn't notice, but his expression was always so gentle with you, even if it wasn't such a lived change, but it was there.
And he couldn't hide it any longer from the moment you nibbled and licked his thighs, making him shudder at the sensation that began to arise in his body. The goosebumps that appeared in his every pore.
"I wanted you to stay…" You say softly, as if it were something just for you.
He even pretended not to hear, but there was no way he couldn't have heard. Your sweet voice echoing so close to him. A plea that perhaps if you asked for more, so slyly, there was a good chance he would give in.
It wasn't long before you were kissing all over his chest, letting your hand rest on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze and stroking it with your thumb. You already knew how sensitive he was to certain touches, and you always took advantage of that.
"Doll, you're going to kill me like this…" He murmured, looking at you with another one of his gallant smiles, the one that made you weak in the knees.
"I want to make you happy…" You whispered slyly, running your hands down to his bare midriff.
Your lips found his neck, licking and nibbling, making a point of letting him feel your teeth on his skin.
He couldn't help himself, letting out a soft moan as you had your way with him, it was strangely satisfying that you knew exactly what to do when it came to touching him.
"You do, babydoll, you do." He says softly, reaching down to give your ass a gentle squeeze, as well as a playful slap on your exposed flesh.
You then giggle at him, taking the opportunity to grip the erect base of his cock, giving him wet kisses on his shoulders. You even dared to kiss his nipple piercings, letting your tongue hover on the cold metal, feeling the icy surface on your hot muscle, making you smile against his skin.
Just watching the way he sighed and squirmed against your lips, you could feel your pussy starting to get wet, clit throbbing at the thought of having him with you once again.
His reddened tip was already leaking pre-cum, the liquid sticking to him and your fingers, helping with the impurity of those wet noises.
As soon as you started moving your hand up and down, his grip on your ass became stronger, making you gasp slightly at the act.
You continued with the movements, the wet sounds mixed with low moans and grunts filling your ears.
"You have good hands, don't you?" He said with a smile, sliding his hand down your ass again.
His other hand still held tightly to his cigarette, taking deep puffs, his eyes never leaving yours.
You could feel his body squirming with your touches, his hips moving against your hand for any other kind of friction you could give.
"I bet you're soaking wet, aren't you?" He asks in a cocky way, giving you his usual smug smile.
He knew how turned on you got just by pleasuring him, by having his throbbing cock in your fingers, or even the permission he gave you so that you could pleasure him in any way you wanted.
And then just to make sure he knew what he was talking about, his fingers slid down to the wet surface of your pussy, his fingers playing with your slick, making you moan against his skin.
"Tight little hole wanting attention, isn't it?" He taunts, putting his fingers so deep inside you.
The next thing he saw was you sticking out your tongue, licking the trail of precome dripping from his puffy red tip. The act made him curve his fingers inside you, moving in and out without much effort.
"You're so tasty…" You murmured softly, giving his tip a kiss.
This caused him to smile a little, rubbing his thumb against your clit in a circular motion.
"I want to see you ride, go on, sit down." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
You felt it when he withdrew his fingers from you, resting his hand on the cold floor, just waiting for you to do what he wanted.
And obviously you weren't going to say no.
And you obeyed like a good girl, sitting on his hand as you felt his fingers sinking into you.
"Ah- Shit…" You murmured, feeling your thighs twitch a little as you moved up and down.
He knew your weak points so well that it made you angry, he knew how to make you shudder with just his fingers.
"Such a beautiful little thing, fucking perfect." He grunted, playing with one of your nipples. Rolling and sliding between his fingers, squeezing and pinching.
All this so he could see you moaning and rolling your eyes as you rode his fingers.
You were so beautiful, the way you let yourself be so exposed to him, the way you trusted him with your eyes closed. That should be worrying, but he found it so exciting.
Your breasts jiggling as you moved up and down on his fingers, making a mess of his hand, which by the way was already honeyed with your juices.
"Hmh-, so good," You moaned, leaning on the floor for support as Leon watched your every move.
You moaned and whimpered his name, biting your lip as you stared at his erect member. God, he knew you were dying for him to make you deep-throat him, and don't get him wrong, he wanted it just as much as you did.
Just the thought of his cock buried in your tight throat was more than enough to make his cock throb and twitch, he could feel his blood pulsing to his lower body.
But now, now he wanted you. He wanted to watch as you rode him, as you moaned and begged him to curl his fingers and reach your sweet spots with every movement.
He didn't waste much time and pulled you close to him, sliding his free hand to the back of your neck, pulling you into a hot kiss.
His mouth meeting yours, the way you kissed him so eagerly and sloppily was enough to make him moan and grunt against your lips, his fingers moving in sync with your bouncing.
Your spongy, wet walls pulled him in, accommodating his fingers, you were so wet that he had no trouble sliding in and out of you.
He could do this all day, watch you moaning and whimpering his name, pulling your lips together to try and suppress the dirty noises coming out of you.
And it didn't work at all.
His smile only widened when he heard you whimpering loudly, biting your lip as you rolled your eyes, your orgasm washing over you as you drowned in that pleasure.
"Good girl. Good girl." He whispers, watching as you cream in his fists, your sweet furrow dripping through his fingers.
"Fuck…Oh…" You murmur, stopping your movements, but he hasn't stopped fisting you for a minute.
His skillful fingers caressing your spongy walls, making you look at him slyly.
"Leon… It's too much…" You cry out, pouting at him.
All he does is look at you with amusement in his eyes, leaning down to kiss your nipple, giving your sensitive part a gentle nibble.
"I hope you still have enough breath to give me a good ride." He says with a provocative and seductive tone, smiling cheekily at you.
And well, how can you deny him that? How can you say no when he looks at you like that?
You were incapable of denying such a good proposition.
"Yes… You know I will…" You say slyly, watching as he takes his fingers out of you.
He soon adjusted himself on the floor, spreading his legs and leaving room for you to sit on top of him.
Without any shame, he fisted his own cock, looking at you and biting his lip. His veins pulsed in his cock, which by then was begging for some attention.
The sight was enough to make your cunt throb, your body burning and aching, clamoring for him. And it wouldn't take you long to do what he wanted.
And once again he watched, saw you sit on his lap, your back turned to him as you gave him a view of your plump ass, making him salivate at the sight.
With one hand he held the cigarette, and with the other he instinctively placed it on your hips, kneading the soft skin. He watched as your tight pussy swallowed him, slowly, centimeter by centimeter. Sinking into his lap until he had it all at once.
He watched his cock disappear into your wet folds, and felt when your warmth enveloped him in such a sweet way.
"Fuck, you take me so well doll." Leon grunted, pressing his fingers into the softness of your hips.
"Hm - I'm so full…" You moaned, holding onto his knees as you began to grind slowly.
He smiled sideways, taking one last drag on his cigarette before throwing it on the floor, turning his full attention to you.
The next thing you felt was a warm slap on your ass cheeks, making you swallow and let out a whimper, understanding that he was asking you to increase the pace.
"Good girl." He purred, holding both your cheeks as he just sat there and felt you bounce on his cock.
The view was almost divine, your ass completely on display. He was lost in it, so lost that he could only focus on your moans, on the way you swallowed him completely, his cock appearing and disappearing with every bounce you made.
And there he went, losing all sense and just following the primal instinct to just fuck you, as if it were the last time. His hands gripping your hips tightly as he thrust.
"Leon- mhmm-," You even try to babble, but nothing but incoherent phrases come out of your lips.
Your pussy was so full, so stuffed, that you couldn't even breathe. You'd forgotten how deep he could get into you, how well he could fuck you if he wanted to.
His grunts mixed with your moans filled the room, nothing more than your voices amid the dirty sound of bodies slamming against each other, clashing violently.
If Leon was being honest, he never controlled himself with you, was never able to hold back when it came to you.
His cock twitching as he felt you tighten around him, he grunted so loudly in frustration, he almost couldn't hold back his load.
"I'm going to come inside, you hear?" He says, he wasn't really asking, just warning you what he was going to do.
"Please," You manage to let out a sly little cry, feeling him slap your ass, another one of his requests.
He wanted you to go faster, and you could never deny him that.
Your hips rolling up and down, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you called his name, you even felt that sensation in the pit of your stomach.
Your bodies covered in sweat, heavy breaths coming out in gasps, neither of you could even speak a single word.
You couldn't hold it in any longer, your orgasm flooded you once again, your fluids gushing out, your walls squeezing his length.
And that was the last straw for him, with a loud grunt and a swear word you couldn't identify, he came, thick ropes of cum painting your walls.
Leon just gave you a playful smack on the ass, appreciating you for what you had given him.He knew it had been stupid to cum inside, but he couldn't help himself.
Now all that was left was to wait, he was just waiting until you fell asleep, while you swore that this time it would be different, or that this time he would have some kind of feeling.
But you were dead wrong.
And then he would leave again, break you into a thousand pieces without even looking back.
But then, he would come into your arms, to glue each broken piece together, only to break it again later.
After all, isn't that what love is all about?
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ghostsvacuumcleaner · 1 year ago
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You came — you called. | Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader
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credits for the header - ghost's pic by the very talented @ave661 ✦ Word count: 2.2k ✦ Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader ✦ Summary: After being abused by your current date, in need of comfort, you call your ex-boyfriend and recurring fling, Simon, to talk. ✦ TW and general warnings: SFW, some kisses here and there but no smut, angst, you guys are in a complicated situationship, fluff, sensitive content (domestic violence) ✦ AO3 | Masterlist edit: I wrote a part 2 in case you're interested <3
A/N: I really need to finish my already started requests, really do but inspiration ONLY gets to me when I'm randomly existing and then a random prompt comes in mind and arghhh gotta write 😭 but I promise - if anyone reading this sent me a request, know I've started it already and I WILL finish. also, thinking really a lot about making a part 2 for this piece and making it smutty. pls let me know if anyone's interested! anyways, not proof read, hope y'all enjoy, x
━━━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━━━
It’s the same place as the last time you saw him. Ironic, maybe. You still smoke the same cigarettes he offered to you once in a promise it would help you calm down from your anxiety; it did. It did a little too much. You still wear that same necklace you refused to get rid off even after you dumped him, after you promised you’d never see him again, never talk to him again. God, hope he doesn’t get mad at that.
Truth is you’ve been failing at that for quite some time. You’ve been seeing him way more than it’s necessary, but contrary to how things used to be before, now every moment with him is a single time that ceases to exist once you get home. He texts; you ignore. He doesn’t text anymore till the next time he misses you. You ignore it till the next time you miss him. This time isn’t much different, only you have a bit more of a reason to be here, unsure if he’ll show up, smoking this damned red Marlboro and feeling like shit. Like absolute shit.
You exhale the smoke, your hair tied back in a ponytail through the cap gap. Hiding yourself.
His big broad figure fills the door in, and he comes inside. To your big surprise, he decided lastly to come; Simon looks at you with a bitter look on his face, his dirty blonde hair trimmed, his beard done, wearing one of his thousand black tight t-shirts and a pair of jeans. He looks the same as ever.
“You came.” You say, surprised as he pulls the chair back and takes the seat in front of yours. 
“You called.” He replies simply, his body relaxing spaciously in the chair with his arms crossed over his chest. 
“Yeah, I did.” You let out some more smoke before discarding your cigarette on the ashtray. “But I thought you were still mad at me.” 
He looks at you in silence for a couple seconds, and scoffs.
“And that never stopped you from calling, did it?” He snorts impatiently. “Did something actually happen or are you just lonely and needing someone to help you fall asleep?” You feel derision in his attitude and his voice is dripping with venom and bitterness.
You close your eyes. Can’t blame him, can you? You had your own good reasons to break up with him, although stupidly, without thinking twice - without thinking that you’d end up missing him. Trying to find him in all the wrong places, wrong guys. 
“Well go on, Simon, what else do you still have to tell me?” You mimic him, crossing your arms and your face a little twisted in irritation facing him. “I was single, I still am. I had the right to be with someone else.” 
“I never blamed you for that. I never fucking blamed you.” Simon wipes his mouth with his hand, his ever icy expression breaking into frustration the second you open your mouth again.
“You are blaming me. You-”
“I fucking am not. I’m angry at the poor fucking choice you did. Getting rid of me for that fucker? You’re making a joke out of yourself, even for someone like me that’s fucking downgrading.” He snaps, regretting it the second later and squeezing his eyes for a moment. 
You remain silent. He’s right. He’s absolutely right. 
You stare into the distance of the window by your side, silent - embarrassed, regretful. Your hands together over your lap and your silence put together make him raise his head at you once again, in a sigh.
“I shouldn’t be here. Our conversations won’t ever end in anything good but me taking you to bed, if that’s what you want then I’ll gladly do it without all the trouble.” He states. You tremulously raise your eyebrows and your lips curl in a small hurt smile. 
Ouch.
You know he said it to hurt you. You know he’s angry, he’s hitting all the right buttons to get under your skin, he can’t help it. He can’t help but to be a bastard sometimes, he never learnt different.
Your eye stare down your own hands, you feel your lips tremble and the lump in your throat gets bigger each second. It's hard to hold back the tears, but for your dignity, you try. There's no less brutal way to admit something like that, so you vomit the words all at once.
“He hit me, Simon.”
His eyes open, the pupils slowly dilate like those of a shark that has just tasted blood for the first time.
Simon has blood on his hands. From too many people, more than you could count. And even if that's his job, never in all those hard years with him - you swore - had you ever seen him so pissed off.
The veins in his temples stood out and he swallowed bitterly, his mind empty; If he wasn't an extremely restrained man, then he would have gotten up and taken action right now. A thoughtless attitude that he might later regret - maybe.
“Tell me his address.” He snaps, his blood boiling enough for you to almost feel the heat increasing in his flesh. 
“Simon, no.” You immediately cut him off, shaking your head, almost crying at this point. "That's not what I called you for, I don't want you to hurt anyone. I broke up with him, I don't have anything to do with that son of a bitch anymore, I just-"
He interrupts you with a gesture and claps his hands to his face. He brushes his own skin roughly, as a self-reminder that if he gives in to his own anger, he'll let you down.
When he makes room for his eyes through his hands again and sees your reddened
face, tears streaming down your cheeks - he dies inside. 
He promised he’d always be there for you. He promised he’d never let you down, he’d always protect you, he’d kill for you. He said it plenty of times and you were completely aware that it was true. 
He couldn’t possibly let you down.
“No, please, I can’t- I just can’t when you cry.” He mutters, getting up from his seat and offering his hand. “You come with me. Please?”
━ ⟡ ━
The hot steaming water falls over your head, sweeping your tears as you hug your legs. Simon's fingertips brush calmly your back, he contours the bruises on your lower half like he's grieving. The silence fills in the bathroom if not for the sound of water dripping on your head. He pours some water on your back to soothe your pain - even if you're not feeling any at this point. 
"Why did you not call me before?" He asks, with painful confusion in his raspy voice. His hands are shaking and you know it's pure anger and his own incapability of holding himself back when it comes to feeling anger. You sigh, tired. 
"I don't know. I felt like I'd be unfair to you." You try to explain, your hands caressing your shins while the water runs through your skin. "And because I didn't want to get you in this state." 
His eyes narrow as he stares at you, and you shrug in response. It's clear to him why you don't like to get him stressed - he could never hurt you, but he was a danger to others.
 He waves his hands to shake off the water and stands up, grabbing and opening a clean towel for you.
You stand up, your eyes don't dare leaving his. He silently admires you, although his mind can't think much more than how guilty he feels for letting this happen to you - even though there was nothing he could do about it. You dry your feets on the mat and turn your back so he can wrap you in the towel, and he does so. 
Simon calmly brushes the towel against your shoulders, drying a bit of the water that drips from your whole body and once he’s done wrapping you in the towel, he places his hands on your back and leads you to his room.
His smell is everywhere around and what used to be intoxicating and lustful for you, is now soothing and quiet. You sit on the edge of his bed, silence seeming to be now a whole conversation between the two of you.
Your hand reaches for his and places it on your cheek. You look up at him with kitty eyes, your thumb circles the skin on the back of his hand till it finds the scar you were looking for – one of his oldest ones, according to himself. You close your eyes and snuggle into his hand, giving it a light, calming kiss.
He caresses your cheek and moves your hair from your face.
“I’ll get you some fresh clothes.” He says in a whisper. You nod, and he comes back moments later with a clean shirt of his. You tug it in your neck and quickly put it on letting the fabric run free on your body, loose. 
He starts removing rubbish from his bedside table – an ashtray, an empty can of energy drink, a gun. As you notice he seems to be trying to empty the room for you, you speak out.
"Wait, where are you going?" 
"I'll be in the living room if you need me for anything." He says simply. Before he can leave the room, you stop him by wrapping your hand on his arm. The sudden motion makes him turn around to face you, his dark eyes gazing at yours and seeming already aware of what comes next – a protest. 
"Simon." You use a warning tone, and he closes his eyes. 
"You don't want to have me around now, kitten. I'm far from calm…" He argues, calmly looking down at you now. The proximity burns you, he's too close. 
"I'm not scared." You mewl, your hands on his tough chest, he doesn't move a muscle. Your hands start trailing up to his neck, and you get on your tiptoes to wrap your arms better around him; Simon closes his eyes, drunk by the overwhelming feeling of having you so close to him. He misses you. 
One of his hands holds your wrist before you manage to curl up on his neck, and the other one gently holds on your waist. He bends down enough so he can reach your tiny self. He gives you what you want - his lips slowly catch yours in a slow, calm kiss; the warmth of his lips against yours is medicine to you – soothes all of your pain, eases all of your anxiety. He squeezes on your waist and pulls back once he starts feeling heaty and his breath starts to become uncontrolled, needy. He breaths against your lips, his eyes barely closed and his breath catching on his throat like panting. 
You stare at his lips before going back to his eyes. 
"Stop." He snarls, raising his head a bit, avoiding your face and the closeness you impose on him now. It feels wrong. You need space.
You close your eyes, you understand. It feels wrong. 
After all of this time of failed attempts to let go, to sound nonchalant and be away from each other – after all the fails and the sex, devoid of feeling type of sex, rough, delicious but raw sex, he wants to fuck you straight. He doesn't want to be angry, he wants to take you and make love to you. 
You understand. Feels wrong.
"Will you be fine here? You need to rest and I need to take a walk, clear my head." He mutters, avoiding your eyes for the sake of restraining himself. You nod. 
"I'll be alright. You'll come back, right?" You ask, looking at him - looking for his eyes. He stands back from you and nods. 
"Of course." He assures you, before caressing your hair slowly and giving you a calm kiss on the forehead. "Rest. Do not stay awake waiting for me, hear me?" He snarls, grabbing his keys and a hoodie of his, tucking it in and giving you space. 
You sit in his bed and nods, watching him leave by the room door and close it behind himself. Now alone, you close your eyes exhausted by the lack of sleep you've been having for these past few days; it doesn't take you long to fall asleep, surrounded by comfortable pillows that smell like his perfume – woody and whiskey. 
Walking in the streets, with his hands digging in his hoodie's pocket and tough stomps, Simon's face lit up by the light emanating from the street lamps. His body swings slightly to the weight of his steps, and he breathes heavily. 
After several minutes – more than he probably told you he'd take, he stops in front of a very familiar residence. You should know it wouldn't be any trouble for him to find your abuser's house. 
He took a familiar piece of cloth out of his pocket, it had been time since he last wore it. Now seemed like a good moment. A balaclava, full face mask – handmade, with a skull painted on. Simon hugs you and kisses your scars; Ghost wants revenge. 
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bitterbutblue · 4 months ago
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interrogation - jane doe
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just know you'll taste me too ☆ jane doe x fem!reader
~ THE JANE DOE TRAILER WAS SO FAN SERVICE BUT SORRY IT UNLOCKED SOMETHING IN ME... HOT RAT GIRL SAVE ME...
warning: SUGGESTIVE AND I SAY THE SEX WORD LIKE ONCE
song: taste - sabrina carpenter ~
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
The first thing you took note of was how much your head hurt. An incessant pounding, each worse than the last. You take a deep breath in, feeling the cold air fill your lungs. It stings, breathing stings. It's like a blade dragging itself down your throat and it makes you feel like coughing. The second thing you take note of is the feeling of ropes digging into your skin around your wrists and ankles. You squirmed, trying to move but to no avail. You were tied down. The last thing you took note of was where you were. Your vision begins to clear itself after a couple blinks- you looked around, breathing shakily as you eyed the dark surroundings. Nothing but a single lamp light pointed down at you. Everything else was dark.
"Good morning~"
A sultry voice echoes through the room- low and smooth. The woman's voice wraps around your neck, her voice is your chokehold. You look around, eyes darting from left to right, up to down, as you try to find the source of the voice.
"Who- where the fuck am I?"
Your voice is hoarse, raspy. Your throat feels scratchy and speaking just dries it out even more. You wonder how long you've been knocked out for.
"You would want to know, wouldn't you?"
"Who the fuck wouldn't?"
You couldn't stop the retorts- yes you were about to possibly die but what fucking right does this woman have?
"Honestly, I don't think that matters too much. Also, watch your language- it's quite vulgar."
The figure steps out from the shadows, a blade in her hand. An all-too smug smirk on her face as she crouches down to your eye level. You would recognise that goddamn face from anywhere.
"Jane."
"Hi."
"Fuck you."
She just giggles.
"Glad to see you remember me."
Supposedly working for under the boss of your gang, but god knows better than that. You had your suspicions since the very first day and the day your gang got busted down. She had ran away- and the last thing you remember is a waft of smoke in front of your eyes and a wet towel with a foul odour over your nose and mouth.
"Bitch."
She narrows her eyes, standing up to move behind you. You hear her footsteps, soft but it still echoes in the hollows of this dark room. You gasp when you feel her lean over your shoulder, her hair tickling your neck as she smiles.
"Don't think I've forgotten our history, my dear."
Gay people always have some fucked up history with each other and this is more or less the proof. Having had sex with her on multiple occasions while she was working for your boss was probably not ideal for this situation too.
"Shame. I always wanted to see you tied down for me, just not under these circumstances."
You scoffed, looking away. You couldn't help the blush that had started creeping up from your neck and had now dusted your cheeks with a bright shade of pink. You shifted uncomfortably, trying to find some way out of the stupid ropes.
"What do you want."
You curse yourself for your shaky voice.
"I just have a few questions."
You couldn't help but roll your eyes. It was always more than 'just a few questions'. It has never, and never will be, 'just a few questions' with Jane. She moves so that she's knelt between your thighs and in other circumstances this would've been incredibly hot (but truthfully told you couldn't help but swallow at the sight). Her tail wraps itself around your leg as she inches closer.
"How did he get away?"
"How the fuck am I supposed to know? You knocked me the fuck out!"
She rests a hand on your thigh and you physically shudder at the touch.
You feel pathetic.
"You were a high ranking member. Not as high ranking as me.. but-"
"Okay, no need to rub that in-"
"But. We had you all surrounded. There was no way a 7 foot giant of a man could've gotten away. How?"
Is she just bad at her job?
"Dude, how the fuck am I supposed to know? I'm a lower rank than you- you should've kidnapped someone else for fuck's sake!"
Jane just giggles as her fingers begin inching up higher and higher and the once icy cold room suddenly feels like it's burning hot. You squirm again, there has to be some fucking way out of these binds. Her tail unravels itself, moving up so that it caresses your face. You shiver at the touch- the cold, metallic blade just barely grazing your cheek.
"You had connections with him no one else had."
"Shut- what?"
"You were the most convenient one to grab... considering your long history with the boss I wouldn't be surprised if he was your uncle."
"He's not." You scowl, trying not to show her exactly how much her touch affects you. You feel the blade on her tail move down, now moving itself to graze your neck.
Why was that so hot?
"Hm, sure."
She just giggles again, this time moving off her knees and back onto her feet. She presses a hand against your chest, the other on the side of your thigh as she leans down so that her face was mere inches from yours and you can feel her breath fan against your face and you can feel her eyes boring into yours and-
Oh you're so gay.
"Just tell me where he went, and we can settle this nicely like before."
"What? Did you just want to fuck me one last time before I go to jail or something?"
"Maybe." She shrugs, hand trailing up so that it wrapped around your neck. You felt her squeeze gently, and your breath catches in your throat. The room is overheating. You're overheating.
"Just be a good girl for me and tell me the truth?"
That bitch.
You couldn't help but shudder but god you can't give in to her because you're horny and pathetic, that's so stupid!
"Fuck you."
She sighs.
"I knew this would take a while."
Her eyes dart up and down your body, taking in your restrained state with a small and satisfied smirk as her grasp around your throat softens. You catch your breath- only for it to be taken away when you feel her blade trail downwards.
"I don't mind staying."
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realcube · 1 month ago
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dilf december
day five ⭑ shota aizawa ⭑ coffee shop au!
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tw implied age gap, mentions of heart failure & brief mentions of suicide
dealing with hyperactive kids all day is tiring. so, as a strategy to help him get by, aizawa will pay a visit to his local coffee shop on his way to work, and orders a sweet pastry along with a caffeinated drink.
not only is a nice treat, but that little bit of sugar and extra coffee gives him the energy he needs to stay awake through the whole day and complete his extra duties too. it's a nice routine he's found himself falling into, popping into the cafe every day of his working week, and occasionally trying out new desserts.
something else that has made him particularly excited for his daily pastry, is the new hire who has recently started serving him. he's been frequenting this cafe for around two years, and for the most part, it was a nice old lady that would be behind the counter. however, for the last week or so, it has been someone else.
a someone else who happens to be a treat for his eyes, while he buys a treat for his stomach.
today, he's headed to work a bit early to grade some papers before class. naturally, during his walk to the train station, he slips into the cafe first to begin his morning routine.
he was only half-surprised to see you standing behind the counter again, hair thrown into an updo, covered by a puffy hairnet, which he could tell you weren't pleased by wearing. though he's never seen someone look so cute in one before. as for your uniform, you wore a white blouse under an apron with the cafe's logo on it, tightened at the waist to highlight your gorgeous figure.
he couldn't take his eyes off you, which made things a bit awkward when you address him, while he's lost in his fantasies, "welcome. are you ready to order?" you ask, offering him a weak smile.
he blinks, raising his eyebrows as he is suddenly snapped out of his thoughts. "hm," he crosses his arms over his chest and approaches the counter, scanning over all the delicious options kept in the adjacent display case. "a croissant, please."
"okay." you hum, tapping that through the system, "and would you like a drink?"
"yes. a triple espresso."
you raise your eyebrows, then explain with a polite smile, "we serve doubles as standard here, so that would be the equivalent of six shots of espresso. if you prefer, i could give you a double which is equivalent to four sh—"
"six shots is fine." he says bluntly.
"uh," you stammer, quite caught off-guard by the man's resounding certainty. "do you happen to be a teacher?"
he quirks a brow, and can't help but smirk a little at your observation, "yes. highschoolers."
"i would've guessed elementary kids." you snicker, idly fiddling with the tassles of your apron, "i don't think i can, in good conscience, serve you six shots of coffee in one drink."
"really? the other lady would serve it to me, no questions asked." he says, in such a dull, matter-of-fact way that you can't tell if he was being sarcastic.
"she also still thinks smoking is good for you, so she's far from a health guru." you joke, and feel quite pleased with yourself as the man cracks the tiniest smile in response, "you usually get a double, don't you? i could do that for you. that would be four shots."
"i've got an early start today; i could use the extra energy."
"well, i don't want you dying of a heart attack, so will a double be okay?"
"for an old guy like me, heart failure is inevitable anyway. may as well enjoy the coffee while i'm still alive." though his inflection sounds serious, you can tell there is a hint of playfulness in his tone.
"well, you'll have a lot more time to be alive and drink your coffee if you stick to a double." you argue, eyes fixed on the screen as you ring up his total, "that'd be a thousand yen."
he hands over a single note, you process it and then start preparing his drink at the espresso machine. since he is the only customer in the store, in order to combat the awkward silence, you intend to engage him in conversation. and fortunately, he strikes it up first, "a double will have to do. though if i fall asleep mid-class, i'll let them know who to blame."
"i have a feeling you were going to do that either way." you tease, entirely joking, however aizawa is stunned momentarily at how you're able to read him like an open book.
"i see you've somehow found a copy of my lesson plan." he says in that indecipherable tone of his.
"i did. and you glad you're only having four shots of coffee? otherwise, you wouldn't be able to nap." you explain perkily, pouring the brew you made for him into a to-go cup and fitting a lid onto it.
"you'd be suprised." it was now aizawa realised how strange this was. where ever his colleagues tried to engage him in vapid small-talk, it filled with the burning urge to blow his brains out, but now he was not only enjoying a surface-level conversation, but going out of his way to participate in it. with a complete stranger, no less.
"oh, i must be dealing with a professional napper." you muse, giggling to yourself as you use the tongs to pick up a croissant for him from the display case and put it into a paper bag. once that was all done, you wrapped it up, placed it on the counter alongside the coffee and gestured for him to take it — but not without slipping a little something into the bag first.
trudging over to the counter, he picks up the coffee and bag in one hand, and uses the other to get another thousand yen note of his pocket and slide it over to you.
"sir, you've already paid." you correct, motioning for him to keep his money.
"this is your tip." he clarifies, leaving it on the counter for you to take, as he turns around to head out, "you're a sweet girl for caring about the health of others."
as he says that, he doesn't make eye-contact with you, but just as he opens the door to leave, he glances over his shoulder and casts you a gentle smile, which you reciprocate.
it did worry him slightly that he may have came on too strong in that interaction, but his worries were put to rest on the train, just as he was about to start eating his pastry, but lying atop it is a napkin with a note scribbled on it:
'if you're okay with double espressos for the rest of your life, my number is written on the back :P'
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awakenedevildays · 7 months ago
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「quitting cigarettes and picnics」 Art Donaldson x F!reader
you can read the other parts here!
━━━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━━━
"no smoking" you take the cigarette from his hand just as he is about to light it with the lighter, you sit up on the picnic blanket and his head falls against the grass in frustration.
"Not againnn" he whines, his hand still in the position it was when he still had the cigarette between the fingers. 
"it's bad for your health" you say a stern tone, trying to come across as assertive, you've been trying to get him to stop smoking for some time now, you place the cigarette back in the packet carefully.
"Please, I smoked only four the whole week!" he reaches for the packet again but you put it in the back pocket of your jeans 
"And I'm really proud of you, but let's keep it that way and also, tennis players don't smoke".
 "Federer actually doe-".
"I don't care what other tennis players do" you interrupt him and Art laughs out loud as you slap his shoulder lightly. 
"I'm serious Art, smoking is a horrible addiction, and it's not good for your health at all" he looks at you from his lying position, an affectionate smile on his face as you show your concern for his health. 
His hand reaches for yours and bring it to his lips to kiss it "It's hard to stop, I've been doing it since I was 16, give me some time I promise I'll stop, for you" his hands takes yours over his heart.
The feel of his lips against you your hand calms you down a little, it's a small and simple gesture, but it means a lot. Hearing him say that he wants to stop smoking for you makes your heart flutter. You look into his eyes and see sincerity there, "I don't want you to stop for me, I want you to do it for yourself" you say in a serious tone, your eyes locking with his to emphasize the importance of this decision.
"Look, if you give me one last cigarette I'll never smoke again" his pinky is out for you to take and you look skeptical at him "you promise?" you ask.
"I swear."
You study his face, your eyes looking him over for any sign of dishonesty, after a moment of searching, you see nothing but honesty in his expression. You link pinkies with him and chuckle "okay, but only because you pinky promised" you joke while grabbing the packet out your pocket and hand him the cigarette, a few moments later the cigarette is lit between his lips and he inhales from it. 
You watch him intently, the way his lips wraps around the cigarette, the way his chest puffs up as he inhales the smoke, taking in every detail of this moment "I gotta say... you look really hot right now" you admit and Art rests his back against the tree you two are resting under, the sun is warm and the breeze is so pleasing on the skin, Stanford's park in spring is so beautiful, he is so beautiful.
A slight smile forms on his lips as he takes in another drag from his cigarette. He looks over to you and whispers playfully "not as hot as you" his eyes locks with yours, his focus solely on you and the way your eyes sparkle in the sunlight. He lifts his hand and gently brushes a stray strand of hair out of your face, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.
He holds in the smoke for a few seconds before blowing it out in the opposite direction, away from your face. He takes another drag from the cigarette, savoring the taste and the feeling of the smoke filling his lungs one last time. He lets out a small chuckle and looks back at you, a playful glint in his eyes. "You really think I'm hot when I smoke?" he teases, his voice low and husky as he holds the cigarette between his fingers, you nod. 
"Maybe I shouldn't stop then" your brows furrows slightly as you try to maintain a serious expression, but his teasing words and his cheeky smile make it difficult to keep a straight face. You pretend to consider his proposal, to be deep in thought before responding with a playful tone "hmm... I guess you have a point there" you say with a wry smile as you try to keep up the facade of seriousness, "but I think you would be hotter if you did what I ask" Art scoffs.
"always so bossy".
You chuckle softly, "what can I say? I like taking charge" you reach out and grab his hand, lacing your fingers with his, your thumb gently caressing the back of his hand. A mischievous smile forming on his lips. 
"Not always though" he answers and you blush. He grins even wider when he sees your red cheeks, relishing in the fact that he can have such a strong effect on you with just a few words. "aww, did I make you blush? " he teases, gently pinching your cheek, you swat his hand away and he realizes he totally forgot the cigarette he has in his other hand.
He chuckles with you and takes a final drag from the almost finished cigarette before extinguishing it on the grass, making sure it is completely out, he grabs your wrist to get you near him "alright, no more smoking, I promise" he says with a smile before leaning in "I think I deserve a kiss" but you push him by his chest. 
"No kissing". 
He pouts dramatically, his lips sticking out in a playful show of disappointment "aw, cmon, just a little kiss?" he pleads, trying to coax you into giving in to his charms, but you're not budging. 
You hold firm, shaking your head with a smile and chuckle "nice try, but nope, I hate tasting the tabacco when we kiss". 
He lets out a long, dramatic sigh and feigns a wounded expression, "oh, that's right" he says, his shoulders sagging as he looks up at you with a pitiful look, "but what about just a peck on the cheek, huh?" he reaches out and pokes your side, you yelp "just a little kiss, I'm desperate for your affection" he says with a playful grin, "don't leave a man hanging".  
You sigh and lean in to kiss his cheek softly, "thank you" you whisper and he smiles lovingly at you, you feel his hand slip into your back pocket, placing the cigarettes there, it's a small gesture, but it means a lot. A sense of trust and comfort washes over you as you look up into his eyes, the love and admiration you have for him clear as day. You smile and lay next to him, your head on his chest as you close your eyes, the birds chirping are bullying you to sleep and you hug his waist tightly. 
As he holds you in his embrace, his fingers caress your back, lulling you into a state of contentment and relaxation. For a moment you're both quiet, just enjoying each other's company in the warm summer air, the gentle rustling of leaves and the sound of the other students nearby creating a peaceful soundtrack to the scene. He shifts slightly, pulling you closer to him as he rests his chin on top of your head.
"We should get up, we don't want to be waken up by the sprinklers... again" you mumble and Art laughs at the memory.
"You're right, we definitely don't want that" he says with a grin, he runs his hand down your side to give your hip a squeeze and gives you one last lingering kiss on the top of your head before reluctantly letting go of you, sitting up straight. With a content sigh, he stretches his arms above his head before getting up on his feet, you're up on yours seconds later.
After folding the blanket to put it in Art's backpack his hand takes yours "wanna sleep in my room tonight? we could order take out and watch a movie" he suggests and you nod happily "sounds good" you yawn and rest your head on his shoulder as he guides you towards his room. 
"Brush your teeth first, I wanna kiss you" you mumble and Art laugh softly 'always so bossy' he thinks as he looks down at you lovingly. 
"yes m'am". 
━━━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━━━
I can't stop writing and posting lol, but he would stop smoking for you and I will die on that hill.
Do not copy or repost.
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writing-in-the-impala · 1 year ago
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Secret Smokes (Part 9)
Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader
Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.
Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.
Word Count: 5776
A/N: At the end! No spoilers here, but it's a long one so get cosy.
 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |
Previous Chapter, Part 9, Next Chapter
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Christmas morning began like every year except for the owl. When you made it downstairs there was an owl under the tree from Remus, you picked up the letter and thanked the owl giving it a treat before sending it home. You hadn't heard from Remus since you got home, however you couldn't be upset as you didn't attempt to write to him either. Even though you missed him a lot and you couldn't stop thinking about him life had become quite busy with work, family and your hometown friends. This was the first time you came home and didn't want to flirt with any one or meet anyone as the only person who got your heart to race was Remus. Since you first opened his present you kept re-reading what he wrote, as if you were trying to decipher it. Maybe it was him calling you "dear" and ending it with "yours" that made your heart race, maybe it was simply just the only way to feel close to him. "What's that letter honey?" Your mum asked walking out the kitchen to see you standing holding Remus's most recent letter.
"It's from my friend, I think it's just to thank for the Christmas present I got him."
"Him?" Your mother asked. "I knew those were for a boy she liked!" Your dad chimed in from the sofa. "So who's he?" Your mum asked.
That's when the doubts hit you, you shouldn't get excited by Remus sending you a letter, he's the kind of man you can't tell your parents about. How would you explain to your parents that you got involved with your defence against the dark arts professor and that he's also a werewolf. "Just a friend who's helped me a lot this year. Anybody want coffee?" You asked tucking Remus's letter into your jeans pocket and changing the subject.
When you had a moment after the busy morning you went upstairs to finally open Remus's letter that had occupied your mind all morning. You slowly opened it while sipping on a cup of tea that wasn't as tasty as the ones made by Remus in his office.
"My dearest Y/N,
Merry Christmas. Would it be inappropriate to say smoking or listening to music alone isn't the same? Thank you so much for your present, I've been listening to the vinyl from you on repeat I can't wait to listen to it with you. I hope work is good and your family is well too. Hogwarts is beautiful in the snow I'm glad I stayed but I'll be heading home to York soon - today - so if you would like to reach me please write to:
The Luna Cottage Yorkshire YO22 5AN
No pressure to write however if you do I just don't want you to feel like I'm ignoring your letters.
Yours, as always, Remus"
You wished the letter was longer, that he would tell you more about what he's been doing why he didn't write. You wanted to have a conversation about his day, you decided it was only right to reply to him straight away.
"Moony, Merry Christmas!
I am starting to realise my record collection is boring compared to yours. I'm glad you enjoyed the present, thank you so much for passing on your fathers book, I'm happy to return it to you as soon as I read it as it sounds quite sentimental.
I adore the cigarette tin, I would be lying if I said it hasn't already been useful. The camel and bridge are beautiful however I miss the real bridge.
I'm glad to hear you're enjoying Christmas, don't run to your cottage too quickly enjoy your time in Hogwarts although I do realise how stupid it is to write that as I'm sending it to your cottage.
My family is well and so am I thank you for asking, I do miss the snow in Hogwarts I look forward to coming back after new years.
Speak soon, Y/n"
You sent the letter almost as soon as you wrote it eager to continue this conversation with Remus. You could wait to read his next letter. However it did not arrive for days. Maybe he stayed in Hogwarts you thought, maybe he hasn't had time to send you one, maybe he's too busy...
You waited each day for a letter to arrive but nothing came, New Year's Eve was around the corner and you thought wether to wish him happy new year like you wished him Merry Christmas however you decided against it. The Weasleys had invited you to a New Year's party and you considered not going however you decided maybe it would be good to spent an evening with your school friends as opposed to the home town friends that you saw all Christmas break. The party wasn't at their house but rather a house in London however they assured you pre-drinks will be spent together. You met at their house where you would be spending the night after the party, it was nice to see their parents who always made you feel at home. They asked you many questions about your Christmas break and Molly even gave you a new hand knitted scarf as a gift. You hadn't arrived at their house empty handed either as you had a whole tray of home made cookies from your mum which the Weasley boys devoured. "So what's this party we're going to?" You asked the twins.
"It's one of the order parties but it should be fun." Fred began.
"And if we hate it, it's in central London so we can jump ship." George added.
"And we'll still see the muggle fireworks from there." Fred finished their joint sentence.
"But isn't everyone in the order like 50 now, I want a new years kiss." You complained
"I'm here." George quickly interrupted.
"I'm the hotter twin and I'm here too." Fred took over.
"See you have two options!"George said with a laugh.
"Three we all know dear Percy would kill for a kiss from you." Fred almost whispered so no one else in the family would hear.
"I don't want to kiss him, or you, or you." You said laughing and pushing them away in a friendly way.
"No you want to kiss your teacher." They both said simultaneously making your face go red.
"Shut up. I prefer people my age."
"Don't lie to us the only person our age you want to snog is Sebastian and he's mostly a rebound for your profesor."
"What did you get him for Christmas?"
"It doesn't matter besides he hasn't spoken to me since Christmas."
"But he wrote to you."
"Just to thank me."
"He still thought of you."
"We've gone off topic so who's gonna be at this party or did I waste my new years by agreeing to this?" You bought the conversation back.
"We promise there will be people you'll want to kiss there, you'll have fun."
"We're sure of it."
"Only thing...."
"'Mum is coming."
"WHAT? This is going to be so lame, a party with your parents?"
"Don't worry, we'll still have fun." He said handing you a shot to drink and all three of you necked it down. You got changed and ready to go out, suddenly you were all looking a lot more like you were going to party, the boys wolf whistled you when you joined them in the living room. By this point nearly the whole family was downstairs including Hermione who was also invited as Harry and Ron were going. When you walked into the room Percy's face seemed to go red, you felt bad as you knew his feelings for you but you just simply didn't feel the same about him. You relaxed in the living room for a bit before all of you traveled to the house the party was taking place at.
It was 12 Grimmauld Place. The home of the Blacks. Sirius Black was the only one left living there however he used the house to throw very extravagant parties, that's what Percy told you anyway. When you arrived it was quite littered with people already, and there was a mix of people older and younger, you spent time with the twins at first as you were a bit shy to start talking to so many strangers. As soon as the alcohol started to get to your head you became a lot more social with everyone around, one of your most interesting conversations was with the host Sirius Black who you clicked with immediately, you ended up in quite a discussion about the London firework display and he promised you could go up to the roof for the fireworks at midnight. You were quite enjoying yourself when you noticed Sirius hugging a man who was apologising for arriving late, he was taking his jacket off when you caught a glimpse of him. Remus J Lupin. He was wearing corduroy trousers, a nice clean fresh Oxford shirt that was a pale blue with a dark vest over it and a long black trench coat. You felt the temperature of the room go up and you needed a distraction so you jumped into a conversation with the twins. "Our teacher is here." You stated to them.
"Your teacher more like." Fred stated with a grin on his face as him and George shared a look.
"You knew." You pointed a finger at them both.
"He's in the order." George explained.
"Close friends with Black. And our parents." Fred finished.
"We didn't know for sure if he would come." They both said in response to your upset face.
"He hasn't replied to my letter." You said quietly.
"Well now you can talk in person." Fred said. You could see Remus but he wasn't looking at you, he was happy, he looked a bit tired but not more than usual, he seemed in his element hugging people hello and chatting with them. After about twenty minutes you both noticed each other he gave you a slight wave from across the room and you waved back while speaking to Hermione. The next hour and a half you spent stealing glances at each other from across the room but not talking even when you stood right next to each other, it felt like an unspoken rule. It was hurting you to watch him talk to an attractive girl from the order and laugh with her, a whole body laugh. You felt jealous, and upset that he didn't even acknowledge you past a small wave.
It was only when you were outside having a smoke with Fred that you finally spoke to Lupin. He was the one who started the conversation, you heard him say "No, no, no. I can't believe that you haven't heard of The Stooges, hold on, Y/N have you heard of the Stooges" he interrupted your conversation but you didn't mind.
"Of course, arguably they were the first punk rock band." You said with a small smile, eyeing the girl he was taking to in a judgmental way.
"Thank you!" Remus said to everyone before turning around to face you. "Hello by the way." He has a gently smile.
"Hi professor, I saw you earlier but didn't want to interrupt." You said hugging him hello, he already smelt like he's drank quite a bit as did you.
"You should've." He said gently in a hush tone, eyes quickly flicking down to your lips then back to your eyes, his breath really smelt like fire whiskey.
"You look nice." You replied.
"I was going to say the same about you." The small smile growing on his lips as his eyes scanned your body.
"Who are you so dressed up for?" You pried hoping the answer doesn't hurt you.
"Sirius." He said in a stern tone and continued once he saw the puzzled look on your face. "He said he was going to hex me if I showed up in the same clothes I wear every day. I don't know if you've met him yet but I believe he genuinely would have."
"I have and I agree, I think you're a wise man." You said with a laugh.
"How was Christmas?" He asked changing the topic.
"You know same, same. Spent most of the time working. What about yours?" You said putting your hands in your pockets awkwardly. When you spoke to him it's like the whole world blurred, like no one else was around you even through your were standing outside the house on a street in central London.
"Christ Y/N, I'm sorry I didn't write back." He simply answered.
"It's okay, I'm sure you were busy." You said hiding your disappointment.
"No, no I wasn't." He said with his own frown on his face. "After Christmas there was a full moon and I was knackered, once I regained energy I had so much to do and I didn't dedicate time to writing back, when I could've, I should've and I'm so sorry." He was leaning on the wall for support as if his guilt was weighing him down.
"How's the cottage?"
"It's cosy, I've been fixing things in it, Hogwarts has meant it stands empty with no one looking after it, so things have broken in my absence." He explained.
"I wish you had time to write while you were there, I had so many questions." You said instead of saying you missed him.
"Have you seen Sebastian Sallow over half term?"
"What?" You shot back in confusion.
"Just wandering as you two are close."
"Not that close." You felt weird about his question, his facial expression was hard to read.
"Fair enough." He replied after a moment of awkward silence.
"Why do you ask?" You pushed.
"Because I thought you two were slowly growing into a relationship, you know I just want the best for you."  He didn't make eye contact with you.
"What's the best for me?" You questioned.
"It's not me." He said with an intense stare into your eyes.
"So you don't want me to be with you?" You asked swallowing hard from the anxiety.
"Correct." He answered his body inching closer to you.
"But do you want to be with me?" He looked down at his empty glass after you asked him this.
"What was work like?" He asked changing the topic.
"Answer my question." You pushed.
"Answer mine."
"I asked first."
"Y/N... let's change the subject before one of us gets hurt, let's not ruin new years." He said sounding defeated as he finished the sentence you heard the front door open and saw Sirius there with two drinks in his hand.
"Remus! There you are, I made you a drink." He said in a jolly voice. "Y/N, do you want one too?" He said while handing a drink to Remus.
"It's fine I can go get it myself." You said finishing this the perfect opportunity to leave this conversation with Remus.
"Beautiful, let me show you the main reason why being a magic is the greatest thing ever." Sirius said clicking his fingers and your glass refilled itself. Remus just laughed as if this was an old trick.
"How?" You asked in shock.
"Dear old Sirius has enchanted all the glass to be self re-filling because he's too lazy to stand up and pour himself a drink."
"I didn't know this was possible." You expressed.
"It's a dangerous trick." Remus explained.
"As if you don't love it Moony." Sirius said and you have a puzzled look to the nickname but didn't ask more questions. "Now it looks like you two were having a meaningful chat I don't mean to interrupt."
"You're not, I was just about to head inside." You said.
"Sure you were." Sirius said with a wink. "Enjoy the drink moony, let me know how it tastes later!" Sirius said with a wink at Remus and head tilting to you before he left, luckily for Remus you didn't see this. A moment of silence fell upon both of you again before Remus cleared his throat. "You know all the glasses in my office have this enchantment." He said sitting down on the front door steps.
"Liar, why do you always stand up and make cups of tea if they can refill themselves?"
"I find there's something romantic about doing things the proper way, taking a moment to brew a tea and pour it. It feels like it's the right way to do it. When I'm alone I don't bother to do all the mundane but I like to do it with you." He took last sip of the cocktail he managed to already finish and you watched it magically refill itself.
"So I'm guessing you and Sirius are close?" You asked.
"How'd you guess?"
"He called you moony."
"He's my best friend from school, there's not many of us left after the war." Remus began.
"What do you mean us?"
"My friends from school and I used to call ourselves the Marauders."
"That's so lame." You laughed and he had a nostalgic smile on his face.
"I know. But we were proud of it, we were unstoppable, a force to be reckoned with. We used to preform some pranks that created new rules in Hogwarts."
"Not that pillar of morality I thought you were Professor." You winked at him and he laughed.
"Maybe not." His eyes were glued to your lips.
"So what happened?" You asked and his eyes went down to the floor, he cleared his throat and took a sip of his drink.
"We all grew up but not all of us got to grow old. You see straight after school James and Lilly got married, it was a beautiful day. Not long after Harry was born, we felt like we were on top of the world when we were leaving Hogwarts. But the wizarding war kept getting worse, I struggled for work with my condition so I focused mainly on the order, James and Sirius helped me a lot especially with money, I wouldn't have a home without them. We spent most of our days as part of the Order of the Phoenix, and we were proud, we felt like our little group was part of something special. Then the day when Peter betrayed James and Lilly came, and well you know how the story of that day goes." He said his voice breaking a bit a small tear forming in his eye. "After that day the world rejoiced, war was over, he was gone, but he took James and Lilly with them. Peter, the snitch, sold them out. It was just Sirius and I left." You placed you hand on his knee to comfort him.
"I'm sorry-"
"It's okay. I was hurt that day and I was stupid, I distanced myself from Sirius, and from everyone. I saw the world as cruel, I really treated myself like a victim, felt sorry for myself. Sirius, he saved me. Every full moon he would come to the cottage and make sure I was okay, it was only after a year that I found out when he fell asleep and when I was back to my human form he was still around. He explained he'd come in secret every month just to check in on me. He made me realise the world wasn't so cruel after all." Remus glanced back at the house behind him.
You got a glimpse at a new part of Remus, the Remus who lost friends, the Remus who used to be a boy surrounded by everyone he loved, and you understood why now being in Hogwarts he was so much more lonely than ever before. "It's funny when I met you it felt like meeting the marauders for the first time. If only you were around when I was your age, I think I would've- doesn't matter. I'm sorry for dropping my sob story on you like that." Remus said with a heavy breath.
"Moony I love to hear about your past, Sirius sounds very special... I'm glad you have him."
"I love that boy." He said honestly. "He's my brother for life." He said looking back at the house once again. A calm quiet fell upon you both before you took your cigarette tin out of your pocket, you offered one to Remus and he took it "nice tin." He said with a wink. "Where'd you get it?" He asked while you tried to light your cigarette with your lighter, he lit his with magic obviously.
"This guy got me it, I really thought he liked me because it's so special but I realise now he's just kindhearted and cares about people. It's still one of my favourite gifts though."
"What says those are mutually exclusive?" He questioned while you struggled to light your cigarette as your lighter didn't want to work.
"Can you light it for me?" You asked him gently turning around to him.
"Sure, come here." He motioned for you to get closer to him. And you shifted towards him. "Closer." He instructed. You were confused but listened, you were now inches away from him, his cigarette was in his mouth and yours was in your hand. "Put it in your mouth." He said through the cigarette. "Now come here I'll light it for you." He said quietly. So you leaned in and he lit the cigarette with the one in his mouth, your body felt like it was burning, you could smell the alcohol, you could smell him. Chocolate, cigarettes and an undertone of firewood. He placed a hand on your face to stabilise you and you felt that your cigarette was lit. You pulled away from each other and you took a drag with a shaky breath after the moment you just shared.
You felt his hand grab your chin again and turn your face back to his, his cigarette wasn't in his mouth this time, he began to lean in. "Tell me if you want me to stop." He whispered and your heart raced as you leaned into him and your lips crashed. The kiss was full of lust and longing. He had completely dropped his cigarette as both his hands were now on your face, you dropped yours and raised your hands to touch him. You felt him swoop your whole body to the side and you were suddenly straddling him on the stairs of the house. You felt him, you felt how much he wanted you, you began to slowly grind on him to tease him. His hands began to go up and down your back as you continued to make out, your hands went through his hair, something you wanted to do for a very long time. And then you heard it, the fireworks.
Remus pulled away first, shaken back into reality, you both looked into each others eyes for a few seconds. Silence. The look of complete fear and lust in both your eyes as reality crashed back in. "Happy new year dear." He said quietly.
"Happy new year Moony." Your replied and he gently kissed you on the lips with love rather than lust this time. He slowly moved you off him and stood up, reaching out a hand towards you to help you stand up. "Let's head up to the roof, the view of the fireworks is beautiful up there." He said and you gave him a sad look.
"I'm happy to miss it." You almost whispered.
"We can't. Come on." He said reaching his hand out for you to hold and you followed him holding his hand while walking up the stairs and questioning which part he was referring to with "we can't". You headed back inside and as you passed the mirrors on the stairs Remus fixed his hair, he let go of your hand and you walked side by side upstairs entering the roof quietly. Once upstairs he squeezed your shoulder and walked away from you, he started making the rounds while telling people happy new year starting from some members of the order, moving onto the Weasleys and so on. You just stood there watching him. "Happy new year Y/N. We were looking for you." Fred said. "Are you okay?" He said looking at your confused expression.
"I just kissed our teacher." You said quietly. And Fred laughed and George groaned. "Pay up." Fred said to George and they exchanged money.
"You guys bet on this? You bought me here and you bet on it?" You asked slightly annoyed but also amused.
"Only when I left you outside with him." Fred said defensively. "How do you feel?" George asked. "Relived?" Fred added.
"Horny and confused."
"Poor Percy was looking for you, wanted you to be his new years kiss, he won't be happy to find out." George added.
"No one can know." You said sternly.
"Y/N, your secret is safe with us." George said.
"However we will make fun of you for this." Fred stated.
"Constantly." George added.
"Looks Y/N is not paying attention to us." Fred pointed out as you were starring at Remus and Sirius whispering to each other and Sirius glancing over at you.
"We've lost her, next thing you know she'll be married, she won't speak to us. No time for us." Fred joked. As you continued to watch Remus, who now glanced at you, said bye to Sirius and began to walk over in your direction.
"He's coming over what should I do?" You asked in panic.
"You were the one snogging him, not us." They both said.
"Shut up." You replied and Remus was now close enough to hear. The boys turned around and smiled at him with big grins. "Happy new year professor." The both said.
"Happy new year." He replied gently. "Happy new year Y/N." He said to you pretending as if nothing happened.
"Wait so you didn't even say happy new year to each other?" Fred asked and both you and George slapped him to shut him up.
"I should've known. Sirius also knows." He said he's gesturing behind him to a smiling Sirius who waved at you as soon as you looked over at him.
"Obviously." You said with a gentle smile.
"Do you boys mind if I have a word with Y/N?" Remus asked politely.
"Just don't-" Fred began.
"Fred." You and George said in unison. "Alright nice to see you prof!" Fred said laughing and walking away.
Remus lead you off the roof and down the stairs towards one of the rooms. You didn't ask any questions. He pulled you into a room and you straight away began to make out. You explored each others lips before between kissed Remus began to speak "Let's get one thing straight, this can't happen." He then kissed you again and you tried to push out a "yes" between the kisses. "And no one can find out about this." You nodded and he leaned back in to continue. "And if anyone knew you could get expelled and I could lose my job."
"Yes professor."
"Don't. I go crazy when you call me that." He said biting your lip as he kissed you this time and moving his hands around your whole body. "Now tell me if you want me to leave this room and pretend nothing happened, tell me now and I'll leave and we'll go back to just being professional." He said looking deep into your eyes and you shook your head and leaned in to kiss him. "Good." He whispered before kissing you back, after a moment you moved your hands to his belt and began to unbuckle it. "Not so quickly my dear." He whispered in your ear. "What we're going to do is leave this room, you're going to be a good girl and mingle with your friends, while I make the rounds talking to mine. Then when it's late and everyone is saying goodbye you meet me. That way we don't raise any suspicion about both being gone all night." He explained and you nodded. "Good." He said and he kissed your lips gently before leaving the room. You stood in the dark room alone trying to process everything. After a moment you left the room and continued upstairs, on the stairs you a ran into Percy. "Y/N!" He said cheerfully. "Where have you been all evening?" He asked.
"Oh I've been floating around." You replied trying to keep it vague.
"I was searching for you." He stated.
"It's a big house." You simply replied.
"Why did you leave with professor Lupin after new years?"
"Why are you watching my every move?" You felt like your privacy was invaded.
"We're friends Y/N, I feel like this year you've been running around befriending Slytherins and doing tutoring every day we've barely seen each other." He complained.
"You're exaggerating, besides you're the one who always pushed for me to study more, now I am and you're complaining." You were getting annoyed.
"Are you and the Slytherin boy dating? Is that why you've been avoiding me?" He asked a bit too aggressively.
"Percy. Your jealousy is showing, please go home, go the bed, we'll talk tomorrow." You walked past him towards the roof, he tried to continue the conversation but you didn't turn around to reply.
Upstairs you saw Remus chatting to small group of people, he looked so handsome. You started getting involved in your own conversations however you couldn't resist to look over at Remus constantly, and he kept looking over at you. Each time he would smile, sometimes he'd lightly wink. When Molly and Arthur Weasley were leaving you and the twins said you'll come home later in the evening and they trusted you and left you behind. Finally there was very few people left behind and Remus approached you and the twins as you relaxed in the living room. "Sorry to interrupt." He began not taking his eyes off you as he scanned your body, licking his lips.
"Please do." Fred said with a grin.
"Excuse us profesor." George said pulling Fred away.
"Has anyone given you a tour of the house dear?" Remus asked you with his hands on his pockets while looking down towards you. You shook your head and he simply reached a hand out to you to help you up. He began giving you a tour from the bottom of the house towards upstairs, there were still people in the house but very few as it was nearing 4am and most people had traveled home by now. He led you all the way up before he stopped at a room. "And here is my room." He said.
"Your room?" You questioned.
"Well technically the guest room but since it's just Sirius who lives here this room has become my room, I stay here whenever I'm in London." It was mostly a simply decorated room but the small pile of books on the side table made it obvious that Remus stayed here often.
"What have you been reading?" You said picking up the top book as Remus came up behind you putting his arms around you and kissing your neck.
"Does it matter right now?" He whispered in your ear pulling you against him.
"I don't think so." You said as he turned you around to look at him.
"You drive me crazy girl." He leaned in to kiss you. "Do you want to know how crazy?" He asked and you nodded. That's when he grabbed your hand and put it against his crotch, you could feel how huge his cock was in that very moment. "Holy shit." You whispered as a genuine reaction not thinking about what's leaving your lips. Remus smiled and chuckled slightly. "Don't worry, I'll go slow." He whispered and you almost melted into his kiss. After a moment of kissing he gently pushed you against the wall where he pulled your top off and your trousers. He began kissing you from your neck down your body getting on his knees in front of you as he kissed your legs and bit your thong. "I have thought about this moment from the first time I met you. You're more beautiful than I imagined." He said before standing up and kissing you on the lips again and you ran your hands through his hair. He picked you up and lay you down on his bed as he climbed up above you leaning down and kissing you. You reached up to unbutton his shirt and he stopped your hands for a moment.
"I just want to warn you, I have scares." He said, his voice had a twang of anxiety behind it.
"I don't care." You breathed out.
"You don't understand they're bad, I can keep my shirt on."
"Remus don't be ridiculous." You said unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his chest, his scars were deep, layering on top of each other some older than others. You began to trace them with your finger as Remus watched your expression, you then leaned in to kiss his scars. He put a hand under your chin and went back to kiss you as he unbuckled his trousers slipping them off while keeping his lips on yours. He once again moved down to your underwear taking them off with his mouth as he kissed you all the way back up to your lips. "I'm going to go slow but if anything hurts tell me okay?" He confirmed and you nodded. "Dear I need you to use your words for me."
"Yes Professor." You said and it felt like his eyes darkened a little as he slowly slid into you. You could feel how large he was as began to slowly move in and out. As soon as he saw you feel comfortable he began to up the pass, kissing your neck and starting to suck and lick it as you moaned under him. "You're so beautiful." He whispered in your ear as he kissed you.
"Remus you feel amazing." You said as he picked up the pace and moaned in your ear. He held your hands above your head with one hand and kept himself up above you with the other. The kissing turned into bites with kisses as your hearts raced. "Remus I'm close." You moaned out as he was bitting your nipples and still holding your hands above your head. "I want to feel you cum for me." He said as he kissed your lips again and you moaned out in bliss. You felt him fill you right after. As soon as he pulled out he leaned in to kiss you and you kissed him back. "Happy new year." He whispered as he lay down next to you pulling you in your hug him, you skin touching his skin. "Happy new year Remus." You whispered back tracing his scars with your finger and closing your eyes as he lightly kissed the top of your head.
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A/N: AHHHHHH finally! Now I can tell you this chapter was the idea that sparked everything, it was the idea of them sitting on those bloody steps and him lighting her cigarette with his own that made me want to write all this. Don't worry it's not over yet, we're only just beginning the story I hope you carry on reading a lot as there's loads more to come as they navigate this situation. Hope you like it!
NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote
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