#I've been adding to this headcanon list for weeks

[bluesidez]

AHH CMON REQUESTS!! I know the inbox is flooded girl omg.

okay so as a request, i would really love to see a story where black, plus size reader and Miguel take on wedding planning. Reader is happy enjoying cake tastings, dress shopping, venue hunting etc. and groomzilla!miguel is trying to make everything perfect for her. It can be nsfw, but I trust you with whatever the vibe is! Love you down!! ✨✨✨✨

["It’s My Wife’s Day!"]

lab tester: @leoeloo 🩻

pairing: Miguel O’Hara x fem!Reader, black!Reader, PlusSize!reader

summary: No one is going to stop Miguel's fiancé from having the best day of her life, not if Miguel has anything to do with it.

content warning: AAVE (YAY!), sorry to anyone named Elana or Finley, Miguel gets a little mean here (I tried to keep it reasonable but he’s giving Libra Diva DOWN), mentions of food, some cultural (traditional) things from both sides but nothing crazy, there is one scene that could be triggering for my fellow big girls (but it's handled with care I promise), 18+ at the end so MDNI, it's also pretty suggestive throughout

word count: 8,888k EXACTLY (there should be no mistakes for as long as I've been working on it....but hey)

a/n: AHHHH! I was so happy to receive this request! (You have also been very sweet to me since my very first fic and I really appreciate that!!!) I said on my blog that I really love all things weddings, so this was a super fun write. I just love imagining Miguel in this position of making sure that his girl has everything while the girl is in complete bliss. (The mom here was also heavily inspired by my own mom who is much more active than I am in terms of telling people off.) As per our DMs, I did sprinkle in a little GR!Mig mannerisms! And! I added him being super in love with reader…but that’s a given. I do hope you enjoy! Also, I LOVE YOU!

Miguel refers to reader as his wife constantly before they’re actually married.

Also a headcanon for Miguel here that isn’t said explicitly is that his Libra trait of indecisiveness is on at all times. 

Miguel could never forget the day you set his heart ablaze when you said those destined words:

“Yes! Of course I’ll marry you!”

He was over the moon. Weeks of him getting you to warm up to him, months of him chasing after you, years of him trying to show you that he’s the right one for you, and finally, your hand was adorned in the rock he’s been planning for you for eons. You were truly his lady, now and forever. 

The proposal was quiet and intimate, mostly because Miguel was a bit fearful you would say no, a seed of doubt growing the longer he waited. He steadily reminded you to get your nails done and paid for your hair appointments every now and then. Each time he thought he could do it, he chickened out. 

Then, one night under the stars after an unnecessary work event, his feelings just overloaded. 

You were so ethereal.

He remembers you laughing over something his drunk coworker had said, eyes sparkling as you retold the story. Your curls were parted to the side, earrings dangling past your jaw. Your legs were swinging over the edge of his trunk, not a care in the world as you talked with vigor. 

He thought that he couldn’t live without this. He couldn’t have a life without small moments like this with you. He couldn’t imagine a moment where you weren’t by his side. 

So, the words spilled out of him like water. He took your hands in his and poured his heart out. Finally, the ring box that had practically melted a shape into his thigh was being freed. 

You cried when you noticed what he was doing, emotions doing a complete 180. 

“No wonder you kept giving me extra money for my nails,” you let out a watery laugh as you leaned into him. 

Now, here you both were, almost a year later in the middle of wedding planning. 

The theme and colors were carefully handpicked, the venue was booked, and almost every week, the two of you had something to look forward to. 

Miguel was currently prepping ingredients for tonight’s dinner, listening as you chatted about your great wedding dress search of the day. 

“We stopped by one store, but the lady behind the desk immediately turned us down. I didn’t want to ruin such a good vibe, so I left it at that. Ma was ready to hurt her though.”

Miguel felt his nerves tighten at the news, “What?”

“Yeah, as soon as me and my entourage walked in, she ran up to us saying something about a short stock, but we knew she was lying-”

“What’s the name?”

You raise your eyebrows at his abruptness. 

“Miggy, it’s really ok. Don’t worry over this,” you got closer to him, taking his face into your hand. 

“I’m not. What’s the name?”

You pull his face down to yours, “Nuh uh. I’m not giving you the name. We said we weren’t going to be stressed out over this process, remember?” 

Miguel closed his eyes and brought his hands down your body, leaning his forehead against yours, “I remember.” He blew out a breath and squeezed your ass in hopes that it would help calm him down. 

“Good. Now, you stay right here and I’ll go get ready for dinner. I wanna tell you about this poor girl whose dad didn’t like a single thing she put on.”

You kiss him three times, the last kiss lingering a little longer with Miguel humming into your lips and lean back with a warm smile. Miguel’s hands clinged to you until you were too far to reach and you walked upstairs to change into your house clothes. 

Miguel stood next to the island, tapping his fingers against the granite with a tongue poking into his cheek. 

The dress shopping process was the one he was the least involved in, opting to be surprised on the day you walked down the aisle. You wouldn’t even let his family pitch in for the dress, saying something about running up your dad’s pockets. 

But how does a dress shop conveniently run out of dresses once his fiancé walks in?

Right as Miguel was considering googling every dress shop in the area, his phone buzzed to life. 

Just the person he wanted to hear from.

“Hello?” Miguel turned to toss some butter on a skillet, holding the phone between his shoulder and his ear.

“Miguel…”

He stopped in his tracks, knowing the exact tone of voice your mother was using. 

“What happened?”

“Today was so beautiful!”

“But?”

“But that one shop on James Street? Terrible.”

Miguel would have usually chuckled at the dramatics, but this situation was no laughing matter to him.  

“You should have seen the way the people in there turned they nose up at us! One lady was about to jump out of her skin. All of this for some of the ugliest dresses I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Miguel shifted his position and stood up straight, tossing minced garlic in the sizzling butter, “Did they say anything to you?” His hands were gripping the phone enough to leave indents on his skin.

“Other than telling us how she wouldn’t have anything we would like, no. She didn’t even want us taking a seat in the lobby.”

He moved to grab a pen and a notepad from the drawer, “Do you have the name of the shop?”

“Lady Love. They should call it Lady A Lie.”

Miguel smiled, thankful that he could count on his future mother-in-law to be his partner in crime specifically when it came to making sure that no one brought harm to you. The number one thing that he and your mom had in common was their need to spring into action.

“Thank you. She didn’t want to tell me anything.”

“Trust me, if she hadn’t begged me not to act a fool, I would have cussed that heifer out. She was so nasty and so rude. That ol’ cow.”

“They’ll have a notice from my lawyer by the morning.”

Your mother hummed, “Let me get my iPad out and get to rating they store. It was a bleach blonde butched buffoon named Elana at the front desk. She was the one giving my baby a hard time. Nobody in there was trying to stop her either.”

“I’ll remember that,” Miguel could hear you coming down the stairs, fuzzy slides creating a steady tempo against the floor. “Let me call you back later.”

“She must be coming back. Tell her to bring me back my shoes!”

Miguel chuckled, “Yes ma’am.”

You came up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. 

“Was that Ma?”

“Yeah,” Miguel reached to place some chicken on the hot skillet, satisfied with the simmered ingredients he added. “She said to give her those shoes back.”

“She’ll get them back! I’m using them right now. What else were you two talking about?”

Miguel turns down the boil of the pasta noodles, shoulders tensing, “She was telling me about Lady Love.”

You clicked your teeth, “I thought I told you not to worry about it.”

“I’m not!” He turned the chicken over while you grumbled into his back. “But she called me with very upsetting news. What am I but a good son? I had to listen.”

“You two are gonna work my nerves.”

“Don’t say that. We’re just not going to sit back and let someone disrespect you like that. What kind of man would I be if I just let somebody not treat you right and I have the means to stop it? So, please. Let me do this.”

You huffed and buried your face into his back, fingers pressing into his skin. His words shut you up. 

“Fine.” 

“Thank you, cariño. Now, can you get the salad and the wine out of the fridge? This is almost ready.”

“What are you making?”

“Marry Me Chicken and Pasta.”

“So funny.”

“Ah, I know. It must really work, huh?”

Miguel walked hand-in-hand with you down the fancy boutiques in the shopping district. 

You both had just gotten done wandering aimlessly as you waited for the cake-tasting appointment. Miguel had to be stopped multiple times from buying everything you complimented. 

He was extremely happy to see you giddy about the cake tasting. It was something you’ve been looking forward to since the day you both confirmed a wedding date. 

He’s studied your Pinterest boards heavily, the notifications dinging with every pin. He knows you want to go all out for the cake. Something large enough to feed both of your huge families and something grand enough to match the venue and the theme. 

He arranged for the best of the best to be trying out today and if that didn’t work, he’ll seek someone else. He’ll even bake the cake if he has to, although you’d push him out of the kitchen.

“I hope they have that Biscoff flavor. I heard it was really good,” you turn to him with a hopeful smile. 

Miguel smiled back at you, “I’m sure they will.”

He only lets go of your hand to hold the door open for you, eyes enjoying the view of your body in the flowy dress you were wearing. Earlier, he couldn’t stop kissing over the deep Queen Anne neckline of it, claiming that you smelled too good. You two almost didn’t make it out of the house on time.

“Hello! Welcome in!”

The bakery was bright and homey. The desserts on display were placed on light peach stands and risers and the smell of caramel and cinnamon was strong in the air. Square canvases covered the walls with cute paintings of some of the featured desserts.

“Miguel, look!”

You pull him over to some Miffy-shaped buns filled with different flavored custards. 

“That is too adorable to even eat.”

“But I do hope you’d still be willing to give it a taste!”

You both look up to the friendly face behind the counter. They were a lanky figure with a glitter tattoo of a unicorn cupcake planted on their arm and pink gauges in their ears 

“You two must be the future Mr. & Mrs. O’Hara. Lovely to meet you all.”

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” Miguel reached his hand out to give a firm shake. 

“My name is Finley and I’ll be assisting you all today. We have several beautiful flavors for you to try.”

Finely directed you both to a square table booth in the corner of the bakery. Miguel slid next to your right side in order to wrap his arm around with one hand and eat with the other. 

“Other than the standard Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry & Cream, Red Velvet, Marble, and ‘Wedding Cake’ flavors that we offer, the samples for you here include Tiramisu, Passionfruit, White Chocolate Raspberry, Lemon Blueberry, Cookies & Cream, aaaand Dulce de Leche!”

Miguel’s eyebrows went up, feeling skeptical but open. 

“Woah,” your eyes grew at the neat display of confections before you. “I’m so excited.”

 “I’ll be right over here if you guys need me. Enjoy!”

You picked up a fork and dug straight into the Strawberries & Cream.

“That is so freaking good,” you groan out, eyebrows scrunching. 

“Let me see,” Miguel turned to you with his mouth open, eyes full of mirth.

“Miguel, please.”

“What? It’s practice for the real deal.”

“When we’re the only ones in here?”

“It’s going to feel like an intimate moment just between us, no?”

You sigh, defeated. He doesn’t even budge when you shove a giant piece of cake in his mouth. He grabs your hand before you can retreat, licking slowly away at the leftover cream. 

He focuses on the golden fork, working in between the prongs. Time slows down as you watch the white icing disappear into his mouth. His eyelashes are long and pretty and his lips are plump and a little wet from his tongue. 

One more pass of the fork through his mouth and he’s looking up at you with the same fire from this morning. 

You clear your throat, “Is that how you’re going to eat the cake?”

“Something like that.”

You two slowly but surely make it through the rest of the flavors with you trying to stay unflustered and Miguel trying to up the ante. 

He’s grinning and chuckling at your ruffled state until you get to the Dulce de Leche cake. He harrumphs as you cut into it. 

“No, no, you wanna eat cake so bad, so eat it!”

“This isn’t the cake I was talking about-”

“I’m going to shove this fork so far down your throat if you even think of finishing those thoughts out loud.”

 “You know I love it when you get that way,” Miguel sighs and reaches to eat from the fork before you can say anything back. 

You wait in silence as you watch his face contort from disgusted to neutral to pleased. 

“It’s not that bad.”

“Yeah?”

“A little too sweet. Abuela wouldn’t like it.”

“Do you like it, though?”

He paused as he watched you take a bite. 

“Maybe.”

“Would you like it as our wedding cake?”

“No….”

You smirked at him, “But you want it as your groom’s cake?”

“…Yes.”

He looks so conflicted about it that you almost feel bad for him.

“Miguel it’s ok if you like it, no one is going hurt you. You know you have a sweet tooth.”

“It is really delicious, like eerily so. It’s not my favorite cake, though.”

“Oh? Was it the Cookies & Cream one?”

“Close.”

You look around the plate, confused as to how fruit flavors have anything to do with sandwich cookies. 

Miguel got closer to your ear, lips grazing the top, “My favorite is you.”

You push his face back with your hand while he grins into your palm. 

“I see you two lovebirds are enjoying everything,” Finley walks back over to the two of you. “Any standouts?”

Miguel lists off the ones you were enjoying the most with ease. 

“We also enjoyed this Dulce de Leche one but we decided it would be best for my cake but before we move on, do you have any Biscoff cake samples that we can try?”

“Of course, let me go get that for you.”

He looks back at you cheesing at him.

“You remembered!”

“Always.” 

Finley comes back with a small Biscoff bundt cake. 

“Now, unfortunately, we don’t offer this flavor for any tiered cakes.”

You took a bite and almost soared. The flavors were just the right mix of salty and sweet, some caramel coating the top. 

Miguel looked from you to Finley, “Can you just do it for one tier?”

“Um, I can ask my boss when she comes back-”

“You can leave her number with me. I would really love to talk with her face-to-face.”

“Y-yes sir.”

“Good,” Miguel reaches over to wipe some salt off of your lips. “My wife wants a pretty grand cake and she has some particular ideas. We want to be really involved in the process for the best result. No surprises.”

“Absolutely. Would you still want to place that order for the groom cake? We have a sale on toppers for them right now.”

They place a pamphlet on the counter with countless toppers of grooms in pure agony. Some are being dragged by their wives and others are running away. Miguel turns his lip up and moves his eyes to Finely without lifting his head up. 

“These are very tacky and senseless, so no. We’ll place the order for it at the same time as the main cake.”

Finely moves to remove the pamphlet, face red and eyes wet, “I apologize. A lot of the future husbands enjoy them.”

“Do I look like the other husbands that come through here?”

“N-no sir! Not at all.”

“Tell you what, give me your boss’s number and your business card. We’ll circle back. Thank you for today’s tasting.”

“L-let me at least give you some extra dessert before you leave. Free of charge!”

Miguel helps you stand as Finley hops around the store grabbing any and everything. 

“I really hope you consider choosing us for the wedding.”

“The wedding?”

“Your! Your wedding!”

“Hmph.”

Miguel grabs the box from Finley’s shaking hands and promptly leaves the store with you on his arm. You turn back to Finley with an apologetic look and a quiet sorry leaving your lips, though you’re sure they’re still shocked by Miguel’s behavior. 

“I’m going to set up more appointments. We need a backup cake,” he says as he guides you back to the car. 

“You loved those cakes and you scared that poor person to death.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just me eating these cakes. And those were some of the most horrible toppers I’ve seen yet. Who does that?” 

“You would be shocked to know that not every man is willing to celebrate and proudly love their partner.”

Miguel turned the car on and let the cool AC hit his face. 

“But, if you still want to look at more bakeries, we can. More cake for me.”

You turn his face to yours and kiss his lips gently. 

“Now what’s all this about eating me-flavored cake?”

He shifts the gear into reverse, “Let’s get home and you’ll find out.”

When you said you wanted creative and unique pre-wedding photoshoots, Miguel didn’t hesitate to make sure he could pull it together for you. Now he’s starting to regret it. 

You walked out into the studio apartment with an oversized button-down that looked like it could be his, some thigh-high stockings squeezing at your thick thighs, and some black lingerie peeking through the thin shirt material. Your makeup was simple but jaw-dropping with glossy lips and a lovely blush that brought out a glow to your skin. Your hair was in a blowout style, curls bouncing with every step closer to him.

This specific photographer that you had mentioned in awed passing was known for her eye for romantic detail. Her pictures truly captured the love between couples in raw form. When you showed Miguel the pictures on her website, he was quick to get in touch with her to set up a decent amount of photoshoots. What he didn’t expect was for her to have an influx of assistants and protégés to have wandering eyes. 

“Are you going to move the lights or are you going to keep gawking at my wife like an idiot?” 

The one assistant who clearly didn’t understand what Miguel’s death stares meant jumped at his voice and rushed to move things within the set, the entire back of his neck beet-red. 

“Baby, don’t be like that, he might just be nervous,” you slid your hands up his chest, straightening out his “work” shirt. “Don’t fuss at him.”

 “He should do his job then,” Miguel shifted his gaze from the scrambling boy to you, voice getting quieter as he peered down at your excited face. “You do look beautiful, though. Can’t blame him.”

“You like it?” There was a spark in your eye. It was something that Miguel knew all too well.

He glided his fingers down your back, feeling the heat of your skin through the shirt. Your eyes never left his lips as he drew closer. You could feel his breath covering your skin.

The flash of a strobe light caused you to jump.

“These are going to make such stunning outtakes,” Xina gasped as she moved her camera back up to her face again. “Sorry to scare you. Please continue this and we can do the original plan in a second.”

You laughed as Miguel pulled you even closer, pressing kisses against your neck to avoid ruining your makeup. 

The original idea of the shoot was to have Miguel look like he’s coming home from work and walking in on you dancing around in his clothes. The idea was cute, domestic, a little sexy, and true to life. While it wasn’t the set of photos going out with your wedding invitations, it was something fun for your socials. 

As the scene played out, Miguel didn’t expect you to open up your shirt even more as he came back through the entryway. It made for a nice expression when he looked up to see you passionately dancing around the couch. 

You urged him toward you with your finger, hips moving to the music blasting over the speakers Xina had behind the equipment. Miguel grinned and headed your way. 

With Xina’s direction, the both of you were able to get out lively photos as if it were just a normal day in the soon-to-be O’Hara home. 

By the time you all were finished, Miguel was only in a tucked-in tank top with his hair tossed and turned. You still looked perfect on his lap, grinning down at him as he mischievously bit his loose necktie that you placed on your shoulders.

“Perfect!” Xina smiled behind the camera. “Now, one little thing I like to do at the end of each shoot is have the couple face me with their faces together for one final picture.”

You kiss Miguel on the corner of his mouth and lay his tie on top of his head before turning to Xina. Miguel follows with a lazy grin on his face.

It would have all been so well if that same assistant wasn’t still staring at you like he’s never seen a beautiful woman before when Xina started to wrap up. 

He met Miguel’s eyes and almost turned blue in the face trying to look busy.

There were so many more photoshoots to go in the near future. He’s not sure how he’ll make it through the next ones without making a scene. 

“Miguel! The invitation samples are here,” you knocked on his office door, giddy with excitement.

Miguel rolls back from his desk, glasses perched on his nose, “C’mon, let me see.”

You stride eagerly to his seat and he’s waiting with the same energy, pulling you into his lap once you’re within arms reach. You make a noise of excitement as run your finger under the envelope flap. Miguel leans his head on your shoulder waiting to finally see the design you so meticulously planned. 

You slid the cardstock out, gasping as you saw the paperdoll drawings of you and Miguel on the page. The artists did a fantastic job of designing you both in such a stylistic, yet recognizable way. 

“Oh my god, look at the little outfits!”

You panned through the cut-out clothes, one with you all’s work outfits, another with casual outfits, and the last one with a wedding dress and a tux. You brought the papers up to cover your mouth as you laughed again. Miguel’s heart soared at the charming way you reacted. 

“Look! They even captured your cute nose right!”

“You love my nose, huh?”

“Stop,” you snicker as you pull out the last picture. It’s one from a more recent photoshoot with you both in formal, dressy attire with scissors and measuring tapes in your hands and paper hearts everywhere to match the paperdoll invitation. 

Miguel took the invitations from your hands, wanting to get a better look. It really was one of a kind, something you both would be able to look back fondly at. 

He ran his thumb across the words, really taking in the fact that you’ll be walking down the aisle right into his arms. He read the words once more. 

Save the date…

2025…

Miguel &…

“How the hell did they spell your name wrong?”

You looked up from the picture in your hand with a frown, “What?”

“We waited this long for samples and they spell your name fucking wrong.”

You read over the invitation again and let out a groan, “Of course. Let me call the company-”

“I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure? You looked busy when I knocked, I don’t want you to get sidetracked.”

“Making sure that my wife’s name is spelled correctly on our wedding invitations isn’t getting sidetracked. I’ll handle it.”

You felt your shoulders drop, a tension you didn’t realize you were carrying releasing from your body. 

“Thank you so much, baby,” you sent him the number with a small smile on your face. 

Miguel gave your lips a peck, “Anything for you. Don’t worry your head about it.”

You stood up to leave, but not before he gave your thighs a squeeze. 

When he was sure you rounded the corner, he immediately pressed the number, blowing slowly through his mouth. 

He was about to work his way to free invitations and a year's worth of service once he was finished. 

Miguel laughed at the video you sent him. You were practically glowing with the turquoise waves in the background and braids in your hair. A giant plumeria was tucked behind your ear and you held a big fruity drink in your hand. 

You were out on your bachelorette’s trip, enjoying the waves in the sand as you caught up with your bridesmaids. He hadn’t seen any annoyed texts yet, so he assumed that the trip was not falling to pieces. 

He could hear your friends in the background bickering about how they had to take your phone away sometimes to stop you from texting him. 

“She got a few more months of being a hoe!”

“Will you shut up?! I’m making a video.”

“It’s true, though! We’re about to go get drunk as fuck. Don’t worry, Miguel, we got her!”

You just rolled your eyes and smiled at their antics before the video ends.

The mood of the video contrasted your texts entirely. They really did get you drunk.

“i miss you alreadyyyyyy”

“I miss you too but you need to have fun”

“I’ll see you soon. I’ll be waiting for you at the airport in just a few days.”

“good”

“you better be waiting for me”

“i wont you”

“shit”

“want you”

“you and your dick”

“gonna sing to him”

“Him?”

“yeah him”

“he’s mine”

“gonna love on him”

“and you”

“miss you so baaaaad”

“the bed is empty without you :((((“

“I hope you remember all of this when you see me baby”

“my name is mrssss oharaaaa”

“idk who baby is”

“Ok well Mrs. O’Hara you need to go to sleep”

“i will go to sleep mr ohara”

“gonna dream of you”

“and my big dick”

“You do that”

“Send me a pic when you wake up”

The night could have ended perfectly. He knew you had fun and crashed safely in your room. There were no problems with the resort or the reservations. You were constantly flooding his phone with pictures without talking because of the “No Miguel” rule he was sure your friends set. 

Miguel wanted to close his eyes in peace. 

So when his assistant sent him the picture of one of the most crucial parts of your wedding, he could feel his neck tightening. He called Ben instantly.

“What the fuck am I looking at?”

“The broom! They had a lot of them at the store but this one was plain and white, so I feel like it’s perfect for the wedding.”

Miguel pinched his forehead in an attempt to keep his eyebrows from molding together, “Do you have a schedule for when you’re this stupid, or is it only reserved for me?”

Ben was silent for a second, “I don’t understand, I thought you said you needed a broom? Is that not what this is?”

“A broom to jump over Reily. For weddings. I told you to check with Jess about it because I knew you weren’t going to have the slightest idea what I was talking about. Imagine if I brought this home to my wife. She would be offended.”

“W-what’s the difference?”

He might find out the difference once Miguel hits him over the head with it. 

“I’m going to fire you.” 

Miguel wasn’t really. He was just so tired. 

“Return the broom. I’ll take care of this in the morning.”

Ben was stuttering and blubbering as Miguel smacked the red button. He needed to look at the pictures you sent again. He didn’t need to fall asleep in such a bad mood. 

Miguel was certain that if he were a celebrity, this would be the wedding of the century with the way the bill was racking up. 

Not that it really mattered, because it was his wife’s day. Anything you wanted, he was going to get it. 

You both agreed on a buffet-style dinner for the reception with different stations and servers to accommodate your huge families. 

Currently, you both were tasting the traditional foods that the caterer had to offer and it was looking less than desirable. 

The greens were a bit bland, the catfish was ok, and the mac & cheese was delicious. 

The pork was a bit dry, the wedding cookies could have been better, and the mole was missing something. 

“I think,” Miguel pushed his food around the plate. “It’s missing banana.”

“Really? I’ve never thought to add that before.”

“For future reference, it’ll really make the difference.”

You wiped your fingers above the plate, “I think this might be a sign to leave the traditional stuff to our dessert table. Some of these are great but I’m sure both of our families will be up in arms with complaints. And maybe this is for the better! Tradition is too on the nose.”

Miguel admires your positivity because this is probably the sixth caterer you both have tested out. 

“We know you’re popular from your page, so what is it that you’re most confident in?”

The woman before you all smiled, “Since you're both looking for a pretty ambitious spread, I think things like a pizza bar or build-your-own stations should be the way to go.”

Through another round of dishes, you and Miguel were amazed by the specialties that the chef had to offer from the customization to the endless amount of options.

After a long Q&A trial between the chef and Miguel:

“Do you have simpler options for the kiddos?”

“Is it possible to do this station and this station right next to each other?”

“Should I hire more help for you?”

“Do you sell this mac & cheese separately?”

“Can you try this mole one more time?”

You both settled on five different stations with food ranging from BBQ to fries to candy. No one will be able to say that they went home hungry.

“Are you satisfied?” you rub Miguel’s chest on the way out to the car.

“Completely. I think it’s going to be great.”

The big day was getting closer and closer with finalizations being made and arrangements galore. The cake flavors were chosen, your dress was being edited to perfection, makeup and hair appointments were already made, and Miguel’s suit was tailored like no other. The bridesmaids and groomsmen were all fitted, especially after Miguel’s constant trips to Lyla’s shop. He was there for nearly every snip, tuck, and seam.

The time was really winding down and you both could really feel that as you walked into the reception venue. 

Miguel woke up that day to a phone call claiming that the venue had been overbooked and was seeking him out to cancel his event. He’s never called people faster in his life. The threats that were made was not something he was proud of, but he’s glad he didn’t wake you up.

Now he has the pleasure of watching you glide around the tables in awe.

“Miguel! Look at the plates! The silverware! The centerpieces!”

It truly was magical watching your vision come to light. 

Miguel followed after you with a grin painting his lips, checking every table for faults. The wedding planner was also next to him, waiting with bated breath for direction from Miguel.

“This should be here,” Miguel pointed to a lone party favor in the middle of a plate.

The planner moves it with ease, used to Miguel’s demands at this point in the process. 

Miguel kept walking towards the tables closest to where you and he would be sitting. 

“I thought I said that these two weren’t supposed to be next to each other? We don’t have time for arguments that night,” Miguel picks up two placeholders. “I don’t want to have to carry our aunts out of here myself. Fix it.”

The wedding planner grabbed them and made a note on their clipboard.

“And where’s the centerpiece for our table?” Miguel checks his watch. “It was supposed to be here yesterday.”

“There was a delay in the flowers. They were the wrong shade, remember? They should be here first thing tomorrow morning, and we’ll have the final touches to it.”

“And you’ll have the pictures sent to me?”

“Of course.”

“Miguel!” you were on the other side of the hall by the dessert table. “The lights over here are shaped like hearts! How cute is that!”

Miguel’s arms unfolded, demeanor shifting as he watched you get excited by the different labels. His chest rose up and the scowl on his mouth disappeared. 

“You really love her.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“This is a toast to everyone who has been with us on this long, long journey.”

Your closest friends and family laughed at Miguel’s words. 

Who’s to say that Miguel essentially blacked out making sure that everyone walked down the aisle correctly just a few hours earlier? No one brave enough to bring it to his face.

“You guys have been here from the start. From the moment I decided to pursue this angel of a woman, you guys were right there cheering me on. Now we’re here years later about to take on one of the biggest days of our lives.”

The table was a mix of happiness and nostalgia, excitement and fondness.

“I can’t thank you all enough for being a part of our bridal party. I can’t even thank you guys enough for encouraging us as a couple. The love in this room truly knows no bounds.’

Miguel lifts his glass up with one hand and squeezes your hand with another.

“So here’s to the present and the future. To family and friends. To us, your future O’Hara’s.”

The table clinks their glasses together with a cheer, watching as Miguel kisses you with so much adoration. 

Tomorrow was going to be whimsical.

Today was starting out obnoxious. 

Anything that could go wrong was going wrong for Miguel.

First, woke up almost an hour late due to playing stupid games all night with his groomsmen. He would have preferred one my night with you before the “I do’s,” but apparently that was bad luck. Instead, he got an extensive game night with a couple of beers. Nothing to have him over the edge, but definitely something to make him feel like he was in college again.

Second, he couldn’t find his cufflinks that he had made specifically for this day. They were custom with your initials and your birthstone on them. The room looked like a whirlwind after he searched top to bottom only for Gabriel to have them the whole time and tell him almost forty minutes later. 

He wanted to strangle him.

“Miguel, I have the rings too. There’s no way you think that Peter B. is a better ringkeeper than I am.”

“If you lose them, I swear to god I’m going to-”

“Yeah, yeah. Death, Grim Ripper, stabbing, big whoop. Go calm down.”

Third, for some reason, Peter B. had Mayday in the hotel suite when the only children that were supposed to hit the aisle were his niece and your nephew. 

“Why is that baby here?” Miguel tried to keep his voice level because it’s not Mayday who ran in here, it was Peter who’s constantly doing what he wanted. She was walking around and chatting with the groomsmen who were kind enough to keep up her conversations. Four-year-olds had a lot to say.

“Ah, she’s just here until her grandma comes by to pick her up!”

“Peter, if I pass out before I see my wife today, you’re going to be the first reason.”

Lastly, when everything was finally settled and he was ready to go to the ceremony venue, Gabriel came running in and almost gave Miguel a heart attack. Something about you and crying and Miguel almost broke the door down trying to get out.

“Miguel, don’t look at her!” Gabriel ran after him as he made his way to your suite.

“I’m not, damn it, I just need to make sure she’s ok.”

He was on your floor in a flash, your friends waiting outside the door. 

“Where is she?”

“She’s inside. We calmed her down for the most part, but her aunt got up here somehow and started to talk shit.”

“Miguel, if Jess and her mom weren't able to remove her, it would have been bad. She kept saying things about how you’re being tricked. She kept telling her that she wasn’t worthy enough to be a bride.”

“What?” Miguel walked towards the door. “Let me in.”

“Let us make sure you can’t see her, first.”

“I really don’t give a-”

“Miguel.”

He turned to Gabriel who pushed his hands down in a pressing motion, “Ya relájate, yeah? She’s not going to be centered if you aren’t centered.” 

With that in mind, Miguel waited at the door until he was allowed in. Your friends said you were in the bathroom with the door cracked. He walked over and turned his back to the door, tapping in a light rhythm so as not to startle you.

“You ok, baby?”

He could hear your sniffles and it took everything within him not to take the hinges off the door just to get to you. 

“No, not really. I, I’m terrified.”

“Honestly, me too.”

The door moved a bit, and your voice sounded closer, “What if I’m not the woman you need?

He scoffed, “And what if I’m not the man you need?”

You were quiet for just a moment, “You are more than what any man has ever been for me. I don’t think there’s been even a day where I could fix my lips to say that I haven’t felt your love and your heart. You’re…you’re everything to me.”

“So how do you think I feel when someone has convinced you that you aren’t enough for me?” Miguel turned his head to the crack. “No woman has opened my eyes like you have. No person has stolen my heart and cared for it the way that you have. I can’t even begin to describe the ways in which you’ve changed me for the better. You are my world.”

“Miguel,” your voice was watery as you took a deep breath. 

“If you want to call this entire thing off and go to the Justice of the Peace, that’s fine with me. We can send our family straight to the reception. I don’t care, as long as I have you.”

“No, I want to still have this ceremony. I still want to present our love. I’m just overwhelmed right now.”

Miguel moves to slide his wrist through the door, “Give me your hand.”

You laugh as you take his hand in yours, careful not to lean on the door and smoosh it.

“You are worthy to me and this is only a new chapter in the foundation that we’ve built. No jealous aunt nor any other family member is taking what we have away. I chose you, you chose me, ok?”

“Ok,” you squeeze his hand as rubs the top of yours with his thumb. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Miguel’s heart was hammering in his chest like a hummingbird fluttering around nectar.

He stood at the end of the aisle with his one hand grasping one wrist and a knot in his throat. The seats were filled with waiting people, but he didn't think anyone was more ready than him. Gabriel had patted him on the back once he was down the aisle, now he stood with his daughter at his side making sure Miguel really didn’t pass out.

Miguel’s tunnel vision shifted as everyone got up to watch you come around the corner. Miguel’s breath stopped. 

You really were his world. 

Your smile was blinding as you stepped towards him, your father’s arm wrapped tightly around yours. The closer you got, the more Miguel could feel the air coming back into his lungs.

As he waited for your father to put your hands in his, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He was so lucky, he couldn’t believe it. 

As he held his hands out, he had to will himself to relax. 

You stepped closer to him, your warm palms bringing life back to his. 

“You’re shaking.”

He looked to his hands and they did have a faint tremor to them, “I’m excited.”

With eyes for only each other, you both made it through your vows. Miguel damn near brought the audience to tears with his imagery of a lost younger version of himself and you finding him in his aimless pursuit of living. How you opened up to him like a waterfall behind thick vines. How you wrapped your arms around him. How you upgraded his life. 

You almost brought him to tears when you spoke about how he loved you. How he stood tall between all that was against you and guided you to better days. How he never went a day without showering you in some form of love, even when he was feeling like shit. How he made you want to grow old with him and walk through life together. 

To the shock of no one, you both said “I do” with ease, no objection to be heard. 

When he kissed you, the world stopped for only a second and came back down with the celebration from your guests. His hands on your jaw brought you closer to him and one swipe of the tongue before he pulled away had you excited for later. 

One more kiss and you both turned to the crowd ecstatically. The broom was placed in front of you both and with three taps on your hand you both took a huge jump over it. Your family and friends cheered even louder. 

Walking down the aisle to the doors, Miguel could actually pay attention to the crowd. So many people were smiling and wiping tears from their faces. It only solidified the love that he had for you. 

You both laugh as flower petals fill the air around you on the way to the car. 

It was really a joyous occasion. 

Miguel was so happy, he didn’t care what anyone else did.

Ok so, he did stop one of his baby cousins from sticking their entire head in the fondue machine, but other than that, he was so relieved.

The DJ announcing you two as Mr. & Mrs. Miguel O’Hara elevated his mood and the trip to the dance floor for the first dance had his spirits high. 

The two of you had a sexy number, with his hands barely leaving your hips and his fingers sliding up the slit of the sparkly dress you changed into. 

After that, it was hard for him to keep his hands off of you. He tried to distract himself with catching up with family, grabbing food from each station, having dance competitions, laying sleeping kids more comfortably in chairs, anything to stop himself from just dragging you to your reserved hotel room. 

When you two stood near the cake feeding each other bites with hearts in your eyes, he couldn’t help but to lean into your ear and whisper, “Still the second best flavor.”

You hit his chest with one hand and covered your cake-filled mouth with the other. 

By the time you drove off with ribbons and flowers trailing the back of the car, Miguel was practically buzzing getting you all to himself. 

He made that known by carrying you bridal style to the room without a care in the world and you laughing into his neck. 

You kissed his neck as he refused to let you, even for the elevator, “You’re so silly.”

“The better to make you laugh, Mrs. O’Hara.”

“I love it when you call me that. Say it again.”

“Mrs. O’Hara. My beautiful bride today, my beautiful wife for life.”

He passes through the door after you reach to scan the keycard. As soon as he closes it you’re on his face kissing all over. 

“My husband,” you say in between the passes of his lips against yours. “Mr. O’Hara. Will you put me down?”

“Nuh uh.”

“Then how will we finish off our night with a bang? C’mon, baby, I have a surprise for you.”

“Fine,” four more kisses and Miguel let you go. 

“Just go sit on the bed and I’ll be right back.”

Miguel laid his jacket on a chair and walked over to the bed. He started to unbutton his shirt carefully, not wanting to tear the expensive material. He slid his shoes off carefully too, sliding into the fluffy slippers the hotel provided. 

He would say he wishes he could have done more for tonight, but the two of you will be enjoying the fresh air of a foreign country in about two weeks time. 

He sat on the bed as he waited for you to come out of the bathroom. There was no telling what you had in store, and he can’t wait to find out. 

“Close your eyes!”

Miguel obeyed, curious as to what you had in store. He could hear the padding of your heels on the carpet getting closer. 

You took his hands and guided them to your ass and with muscle memory, he took a handful.

“I’m already sold,” he said, feeling some light fabric hit his wrists. 

You chuckled at his face, seeing his tongue poked out to the corner and his hands feeling and kneading your body. 

“Ok, open ‘em.”

Miguel parted his eyes to see you in beautiful white lingerie. A white open lace see-through babydoll set hugged your tits tight. Panning down, he could see your thin panty with the string pulled over your hips and the curve of your body on display. Going further down, on your left leg, there was a garter digging into your skin that read “Miguel’s Wife” in bold, red cursive letters. 

“You like it?”

Miguel looked up to you with a tinier veil adorning your hair.

“This garter might be the only thing that makes it out unscathed.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm hm,” he leans forward to plant kisses along the top of your chest, pulling your thick thighs around him. “We’re gonna get a complaint.”

“Good,” you raked your nails down his nape, earning a groan from Miguel as you continued to his back. “I want you to make love to me.”

You start to grind along him, feeling the bulge in his suit pants grow. Miguel hummed and started to remove your top. It looked gorgeous on you, but it was useless to him at the moment. Your skin was sparkling all the way down to your nipples and it only made Miguel want to devour you more. 

You gasp as he smacks your ass and hikes you up, his mouth latching onto your areola like it’s fruit from the chocolate fondue today. 

“I’ve been wanting this all night,” Miguel mumbles into your skin. “You looked so amazing today.”

“So did you,” you tilt his chin up to look at his face. “I saw you looking at me all night. You’re not very discreet.”

“Wasn’t trying to be.”

He got up with you in his arms and flipped you over, “Everybody there should know how I feel about you by now.”

You were a vision. Smooth skin contrasting with the stark white of the panty and garter, veil sprawled out behind you like a halo. Miguel bent down to kiss you again, truly in awe that this was who he had as a spouse. 

“I want you to know how I feel about you too,” you whisper against his lips. 

You guide his hand from your face to your breast to your panties. You part your legs, thighs shaking in anticipation. Miguel's eyes get wider as he sees your lips through the peek-a-boo hole of your underwear. One swipe and your essence is on his fingertips. 

Miguel brings his eyes back to you as he takes his fingers and brings it to his lips, sucking it off with a pop. 

You bite your lip watching him lick his fingers and unbuckle his pants. 

The air is tight and heated, with you open and waiting and Miguel watching and wanting. 

He leans back and pulls his pants down. You look down hoping to see a peek of what’s about to rock your world. 

At the sight of your name and “MIC” in bold black letters across the band you bust out in giggles. 

You sit up as he comes around to the side of the bed, “I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I’ll never forget it.”

You laugh even more when you see it up close.

“Help me take this off,” he turns around to show your name and “Husband” printed on the back.  

You lean into his back in a fit of giggles, shocked but giddy. 

“We really are soulmates,” you say as you pull the briefs by the leg. “Meant to be.”

Miguel turns back around, bending to slide your mouth with his, “Forever and ever.”

True to his word, it really felt like you were his favorite flavor with the amount of marks he left on your skin before he got back in between your legs. You were so wound tight that with one lick from your hole to your clit, you were already trapping his head there. 

Miguel hummed and hiked your hips up, mouth moving to kiss your lips as if he were making out with the ones on your face. It was absurd how loud it sounded. His tongue kept swirling along your walls while the tip of his nose rubbed against your clit. 

You didn’t know where to keep your hands, but it did look good with your ring dazzling on your finger as you brought your hands to his head buried deep in your pussy. 

“Don’t stop,” you cried as he started to nod his face along your flower. 

Just when you could feel yourself ride to the edge, he took his middle and ring finger and spread you open. You shouted his name as you felt the cool touch of the ring slide in and out alongside the heat of his tongue. 

You don’t remember when you came down, but you remember Miguel’s drenched face kissing along your shaking thighs. 

“No Dulce de Leche is beating that, Mrs. O’Hara,” he reached to pull the soaking lace off, careful not to move the garter. 

“C’mere,” you hold your hands out, wanting to feel him on you. “I’m glad you like it so much.”

Miguel groans into your mouth, grinding his dick along your wet folds. He finds your hands and intertwines his fingers with yours. 

“I love you,” he sighs into your mouth. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

One sweet session later, he had you on your stomach, back arched, and yelling into the pillows as he pounded into you. 

You could see stars as his hips smacked loudly against your ass. The headboard was knocking against the wall with every push. 

Miguel was really feeling the wedding attire as he had one hand gripping your veil by your back and the other pulling at garter. 

When you came around his cock, he was diving in right after, letting go into your sea. The shudders of you afterwards had him moving a little more and turning your face to the side to kiss your panting lips. 

By the time you two finished, you were sure the sun was soon to rise. 

Your hair was a mess, the veil was somewhere across the room, and you both were tangled up in the sheets. 

You laid your head on Miguel’s chest, content to listen to his heartbeat to lull you to sleep. He’s rubbing your arm and kissing the top of your head. 

“Thank you so much for stepping up and making this day so magical for me,” you look up at him. “Words can’t explain how appreciative I am.”

Miguel looked back at you, eyes warm, “I just want to see you smile. Thank you for giving me space to handle things.”

You pucker your lips and he reaches to comply. 

“Now, we need to get some sleep. Gotta regain some energy.”

“You’re absolutely right,” you say as you tilt your eyes down to the sheets. “Because I’ve got a show to put on when we wake up.”

Miguel just laughs as he pulls you onto his chest. 

The birds chirping were a nice background noise to you all’s slumber. 

I went through several episodes of Kitchen Nightmares in order to finish this. BUT! I am happy with the result. As always, if you enjoyed, please like, reblog, and COMMENT!

[allisluv]

here's some finnick requests (you don't need to do any of them at all, these are just some ideas <3)

- comforting him after a bad night of nightmares (about his games, being sold, the quarter quell, et cetera)

- being comforted after a bad night of nightmares by him (victor reader)

- his reaction to being called "prettyboy" out of nowhere

- him + johanna mason (platonic) headcanons

- finnick + reader being comforted before they go into the arena

- what a beach date with him would include

- finnick x dom reader (doesn't have to be smut, can just be reader taking care of him)

have a nice day <3 make sure to drink some water and take a break if you need it

ahhh thank you for this lovely!! i've done most of these and the rest have been added to my wip list, but here's some finnick x dom!reader headcanons! <3

finnick isn't used to being taken care of. he's not used to being cuddled or held or having someone be this gentle with him so part of him is worried there's an ulterior motive hidden in there somewhere.

it takes a while for him to relax into the routine of letting you cook him dinner and shower him in compliments and genuinely be interested in what he has to say; and the more it happens, the more he likes it.

finnick worries that you might want someone more dominant, someone who tells you what to do or does things without having to be asked, but when you coax his worry out of him, he finds out that you like being the one in control. its... refreshing in a way he wasn't expecting.

he slowly lets himself relax into the familiar feel of your habits, like when you tell him to sit down and take a breather because you know he's stressed or how you take control and soothe him when he comes back from a week at the capitol.

(and in the bedroom, he appreciates all these little things about you even more).

[riddledeep]

FOP Sideblog Update - Sept. 2024

Hi! This lovely ol' sideblog's been tidied up in light of A New Wish! I have a new AU for New Wish works. Let's talk about it!

Main blog - @fountainpenguin

My FFN - My AO3

Sideblog masterpost

Housekeeping Updates

- New avatar - @zachbrightside and I updated our FOP sonas. Tossed the headcanon'd honorary pixie hat on mine! :) Shout-out to that one kid in "School of Crock" who wore this hat with no explanation. And squared my gal's wings! Experimented with pink and purple hair options, but I like the brown too much to change.

- Fixed all broken masterpost links - Checked 3 or 4 times, so let me know if you find something wrong.

- Added things to the masterpost that weren't there (Ex: Art section)

- Combed through every post and changed the bullet point system so they're easier to read, following format update from several years ago that condensed the spacing between bulleted items.

-> As part of this, I've used indents and dashes in place of bullets in many posts. I've also added periods on otherwise blank lines to force blank space, as the blank space is another thing we lost during that format update.

-> This is so posts will look better on the dashboard. The dots may seem odd when viewed directly on the blog, but it definitely makes it easier to not lose my place while editing long posts. Also, they should be more readable now than they would be if they're reblogged to others' dashboards without this change.

- I combed through the short bios and long profiles and divided paragraphs more. There were many bulky paragraphs that have now been divided in a way that should make posts - especially these big profiles - easier to read.

-> Cleaned the "Appearances" sections of the long profiles. They used to list each 'fic that character is in, but now they have a labeled AO3 link to works written by me that include that character. Sleek, clean, and automatically updates!

- Shout-out to me having Dale Dimmadome already down as one of H.P. and Sanderson's past godkids 5+ years ago. I knew that was my headcanon, but I did not remember that was on his profile and I'm glad it was, haha... oh no. I don't know what my plan is for that in light of New Wish, but I'll figure it out.

- Changed posts that called my canon Riddleverse Classic to say Cloudlands AU, since that's the new name for my series. Left the name Riddleverse for posts that encompass multiple AUs.

-> Updated my Icebreaker post with this and other new info

- Deleted any posts tagged as "Delete later"

- I have a lot of long profiles and other posts saved to my drafts from years ago. Once Tumblr shifted to the new format (including with the queue), it became so distressing and ever-changing that I struggled a lot to find my footing.

Ex: They took away line dividers, which I thought was frustrating since I used those on my long posts and found them helpful. I was holding out hope they'd return. - Some posts (like my wing refs and the giant 20k-word class overviews) kept getting flagged if I edited them, and I was worried I'd lose my stuff or have the account deleted - Back then, the queue would only tell me which day of the week something was posting, not which month or day. It was just overwhelming to create a schedule or keep track of my stuff, so I took a break from Tumblr in general.

These days, I'm much more comfortable with the editor and my queue is now more specific about deadlines. I look forward to posting here again!

I won't be on a schedule, and the big character profiles do take a lot out of me, but my plan back in the day was to release one a month. Might be able to get to there! If not, maybe the short bios.

Future of this FOP Sideblog

- More worldbuilding posts! I let this blog sit a long time because I felt like I'd said all my worldbuilding and the only thing to do now was profiles and bios (which I was reluctant to prioritize when I felt "behind" in my 'fics).

However, I found some things I'd never moved to this blog, such as my notes on aging. I'd like to post that and others I found.

- No longer hesitant about sharing stuff for "weird" characters or OCs. I had a post about celebrity kids (Poof's age and younger) that I never posted because I didn't think anyone would care about my headcanons for Simon Sparklefield (who only appears in one obscure episode I don't count as fully canon anyway) or Billy Crystal Ball (also obscure) but... Hey, that's why you're here, isn't it? So let's talk celebrities!

In other words, I'd like to bring this blog back as the unapologetic place to share my FOP things. We have references to canon characters and talk of OCs (like Hadley, Emery, Whistle, Soren, China, Anti-Saffron, Kalysta, Iris, Idona... List goes on.)

- This blog will have more polished fanart than the doodles from my main blog

- Polished 'fic cover images will be reblogged here. By this, I mean the posts I do on my main blog that outline what to expect from a 'fic. I won't reblog my general chapter announcements; I don't want to flood this blog with those.

- 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash's cover will be reblogged, but the posts for individual trains won't be. - Existing cover images will get new, polished posts for their 'fics before I reblog them here.

- I went through the blog and added the tag "Cloudlands AU" to many posts, apart from a few I'm still hesitant to edit (or where it didn't seem worth noting). Cloudlands AU refers to my lore for the 11 seasons of the main series (i.e. including the "Oh Yeah!" shorts), and this is what my sideblog was meant for.

- The reason for this new tag is to separate it from City Lights AU: my new AO3 series for works about New Wish. These works are not compliant with Cloudlands AU, which was designed years ago.

Ex: Peri and Irep will get a short bio on this blogged tagged as City Lights AU to explain what we're setting up for their characters over there, distinct from the existing short bio for Poof and Foop in Cloudlands AU (who are very well established in their arcs). In other words, I'm not rewriting Cloudlands AU canon to fit with A New Wish, but I still want to write works for New Wish. Expect bios and art for Hazel and Dev here someday (and others).

The next thing I post will be Hadley's full character profile (now with updates that are compliant with A New Wish).

After that, I'll reblog my Cloudlands AU and City Lights AU guides to this blog so they'll be under their tags and on the masterlist.

When that's all done, I'd like to knock out full character profiles for Dale, Dev, and Hazel when I can (in addition to finishing my drafts for Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, and Foop). Long, slow process, but it would be cool to have those things done by the end of 2024 or early 2025.

Feeling decent about my idea for Hazel's birthdate. I have nice options for Dev, but no commitment until Zach and I nail down where "Operation: Birthday Takeback" goes in our New Wish timeline. Enjoying the process so far! -> Dev's b-day is QUITE the toss-up between options like "National Day of Unplugging," "Plant a Lemon Tree Day," and the absolutely golden combo of "Pizza Party & Virtual Assistants Day." And perhaps others we've not investigated!

I think that's everything! Hopefully, this is the last "blog news" announcement we have for a while, and the blog can return to being a landing spot for fanart and story meta.

As always, the sideblog's Asks are closed as I want to maintain a consistent feel for this blog. You can reach out to my main blog (Askbox here) if you want to ask a worldbuilding question.

Additionally, I'm interested in following other people's worldbuilding / AUs so I can engage more with the community, especially those passionate about FOP worldbuilding. -> I'm open to self-advertisement if you want to shoot me an Ask on my main blog telling me where I can find your work! -> I'd prefer to follow a blog that is primarily for FOP worldbuilding / art / 'fics (or subscribe to an AO3 series for FOP works), but I'm open to consideration if your blog is multi-fandom! My preference: Thoughtful takes on characters and world that dig deeper than just ship art / ship 'fics- Nothing against shipping, but I'm more interested in character analyses and worldbuilding. Bonus points for a focus on miserable children, Dale lemonade trauma, Pixies, or Timmy growing up to lose his memories and live an average human life. If you don't fit this, you can still recommend your AU and I'll check it out, but that's my wishlist :) Also, if there's anyone who makes Timmy/Molly content, you are my hero and should totally link me your work.

It's such an honor to see so many followers of this sideblog despite its long absence! To those of you interested in staying with me as we enter this next phase, thank you very much - it means a lot to me - and I hope you enjoy browsing!

And to anyone who's lost interest, thank you for spending time while you were here <3

One last note - My goal has always been to reblog others' fanart for my 'fics here, but most of them are still sitting in my drafts, unreblogged. I'll queue those up. I'm always delighted to receive gift art! Feel free to tag @riddledeep and I'll reblog it here! Same goes for gift 'fics, so don't hesitate to share!

[autisticlancemcclain]

PSA

hello everyone!! a bit of a serious post today.

i don't want to sound whiney. but i have noticed a bit of a tone in a couple of my asks lately?? very few of them, let me assure, but a couple people seem to be frustrated at the speed/rate at which i answer asks. so i wanted to help clear the air.

REASONS I HAVE NOT YET ANSWERED YOUR ASK (THAT I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO HAVE):

i am in the process of answering it

sometimes i get asks for certain fics, to either write or to help find. and these things take time! sometimes i get very lucky and fics hit me as soon as i see them, but more often it takes me days or weeks! and fic searches take me even longer!

2. i have other ideas

you guys have a lot of great headcanons and fic premises! i do too. i've been in this fandom since june of 2016, there's a very VERY long list of things i want to write. things get added to the roster, i promise.

3. i am busy

i am in school full time and working part time and volunteering and preparing for teacher's college admissions. writing is my favourite thing to do every day and while i do prioritise it i cannot have it as my first priority. often, this blog gets pushed back when i get busy, as much as i wish that wasn't the case.

4. i am overwhelmed

sometimes the asks pile up. i try to answer comments as they come but for some reason asks work a little bit differently in my brain?? idk. it can be harder for me to force myself to start answering them, even though i love receiving them and when i'm in the mood i could answer fifty at once.

and very, very rarely:

5. i simply do not vibe with it

it happens occasionally. i have a very niche corner of headcanons and stuff i enjoy writing, so it's bound that every once in a while someone sends me an ask with their ideas that just aren't what i personally would read/write. doesn't mean the idea is bad or that i don't enjoy getting excited about your ideas with you, it's just not always going to be something i have the train of thought to write :)

i hope that's not disappointing! i know there are a couple asks that have been sitting in my inbox for over a YEAR. i am getting to them, i promise. one such ask has even inspired a novel-length fic that i'm still working on. finally, i want to remind you guys that i am autistic, and as much as i'm fully capable of handling myself online and everywhere else, i do struggle to read and understand tone and social cues and as such can often miss offense where it is intended or find it where it is not. i can't even tell you if the two examples i included are actually objectively rude/demanding, i can only tell you that they felt that way. there is no need to censor yourself or be anxious to shoot me a message, just maybe remember that i'm doing this for fun? and it frustrates me when it's treated as if it's a job. if you're worried about coming off as demanding, let me know and i'll post some examples of requests that i don't find demanding at all, only excited (which is, and i can't stress this enough, the vast majority of every message i see). thank you guys and ily <333

[frogchiro]

Let me just sneak in here. Just want to say thank you for the compliments, it has truly made my day. But I came in here because I just wanted to make sure I have your full permission to add to the COD Gods AU as I have so many ideas and I will admit that I am a world-building fanatic. Especially as I'm thinking about doing another one of my big character analyses but for Makarov this time as I have way too many ideas for God Makarov that I want to charge him rent. Also, I hope it's okay if I am allowed to add to the Slasher COD AU as I have ideas for König and Soap, as I myself see König as a creature hunting in the woods killer who has cannibalistic tendencies while I see Soap as a killer like Kuchisake-Onna (口裂け女) who is an onryō (怨霊); I say that as an onryō exact vengeance to "redress" the wrongs it received while alive while Kuchisake-Onna kills or hurts people by slitting their face through their mouth from ear to ear which is similar to a Glasgow Smile and I think the first part also fits Johnny as I still believe he is not y'know and Slasher Johnny could be extremely injured after the incident which has forced him to stop working so he takes his anger out on everybody else before he can get to Makarov and get revenge.

Also as repayment for you blessing us with your AUs that I have added on to I will be spoiling you the AUs I've been thinking of for the COD boys that I will be talking about later on my blog: Angel AU, Demon AU, Royal AU, Cryptid AU, Mythical Creature AU, Bug AU, Plague AU, Victorian AU, Magic AU, Fairytale AU, Celestial/Solar AU, Wonderland AU, and many more which I will probably list in one post. These will probably take me weeks to do but I will be posting the summaries soon for people to use (and you can use them as much as you want) as the analyses take me around three to six hours to write depending on how much research is needed. I also want to post some other headcanons I have that are just general and my opinions on MW3 ending and how I would have done it which will also make me take longer. But anyone I shall run away now that I've dropped this on your doorstep and if you ever have any questions I shall answer. Sorry about how long this ask is but my family has a waffling issue and I tend to be one of the worst. Now much platonic love, have some cookies, and keep yourself safe but also well-rested.

Please know yourself out with these!! All my ideas are basically free for adding/interpreting them as someone pleases because I truly believe that's what will keep them going and alive!

You have no idea how happy I am that someone as talented and creative as you wants to do such in-depth workd building on my silly whimsical au😭💕💕

I'm sending you much platonical love too and have a good day/night love♡

[jerzwriter]

Top 3 Thursday - Week 5

Welcome to Top Three Thursday! 💙

FIRST, a few quick rules!

Please reblog your answer - don't create a new post. The point is to keep us all together in one place and to get to know each other.

You can answer any way you like - basic answer, headcanons, fics, moodboards, edits, artwork - be as creative (or not!) as you like.

Pixelberry Choices-related content only.

PLEASE BE KIND! People will have different options, thoughts, headcanons, and likes - and that’s a good thing. Be respectful of one another.

For Week 5 - Last week, we asked about your MC's 3 best friends... this week, it's back to being about YOU...

WHAT 3 CHOICES CHARACTERS WOULD YOU PICK TO BE YOUR FRIENDS?

It can be any character at all, including LIs or one of your MCs. You don't have to share why, but if you'd like to, we'd love to hear about it!

If you’d like to be added to the tag list, let me know, but anyone can participate! Tags below break. 💙💙💙

If you've asked to be on the list and I've not included you, please shoot me a DM. It's been a crazy couple of weeks and I'm worried I've missed some :)

@aces-and-angels @alj4890 @aallotarenunelma @angelasscribbles @bebepac @cariantha @coffeeheartaddict2 @cooltuna69 @crazy-loca-blog @headoverheelsforramsey @hopelessromantic1352 @icecoffee90 @karahalloway @korgbelmont @kyra75 @lovealexhunt @missameliep @peonyblossom @peonierose @potionsprefect @princess-geek @queenrileyrose @quixoticdreamer16 @secretaryunpaid @takeharryandgo @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction @tveitertotwrites @twinkleallnight @jerzwriter-reblogs-asks

[nobigsecrets]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Ha, I did think about digging up last year's review and doing it sometime before Christmas! Because I've done these for a few years now. But I have barely written anything in 2023 and I never went looking. But now that I've been tagged I'm gonna do it, even if it comes out on the (very) short side. Thank you for the tag, @itwoodbeprefect!

-

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 32,393

fics posted: 5

first fic: Rainbows over Waikiki

last fic: "Are you mad?" (Chapter 7 of H50 Short Fics and Prompt Fills)

-

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Hawaii Five-0 (2010) (2) McDanno, of course

Ted Lasso (TV) (3) Roy x Jamie, who I have shipped since season 1 (when Jamie confessed to Roy about the poster) and I find it somewhat funny that it has become the fandom's Big Ship only after last season

-

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

With 5 fics in total this one is easy:

Oi! Tartt! Boot Room now! Ted Lasso, Roy x Jamie, T, 1k words

Those Lips (Red as Blood) Ted Lasso, Roy x Jamie, T, 1.4k words

Rainbows over Waikiki H50, McDanno, M, 27k words, incomplete

One night at G-A-Y Ted Lasso, Roy x Jamie, T, 405 words

"Are you mad?" H50, McDanno, G, 567 words

-

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

Picking just one:

Rainbows over Waikiki Shortly after his mom dies, Steve kisses his best friend Luca. A week later his dad shoves him back into the closet by sending him away to the Army-Navy-Academy. What follows is a life full of lying and hiding and pretending—until he finds support from unlikely allies. Things get complicated when he returns to Hawaii 20 years later, when DADT is repealed and he falls head over heels for his new partner, Danny Williams. This is Steve’s story.

My baby. My big story. The Project that I've been working on for several years tbh. It's still incomplete even though there's not much that's missing (mostly editing, a missing link between the last two chapters and parts of the epilogue). I wrote most of it in 2022 and was on a good way to finishing it at the beginning of 2023 so I started posting. I don't know what happened then. Too much work, too much stress, call it writer's block if you will, I haven't been able to pick it back up. I will finish it, I promise, I just don't know when. 🥺

-

Fandom Fic Events 🤝

none

-

Projects for 2024 👀

After the last year I don't have much trust in making fic writing plans anymore. I don't think my work load will decrease anytime soon. But then, maybe I should stop waiting for the day I'm suddenly not tired anymore and just write anyway. Because I miss writing. A lot.

So let's treat this as a wish list more than an actual project list, yeah?

The fic that is closest to finishing is a continuation of One night at G-A-Y, with a gay Roy trying to figure out what kind of flavor queer Jamie is, if at all.

A McDanno fic where Steve has been dishonorably discharged from the Navy thanks to DADT. He returns to Hawaii, out and proud now because fuck the Navy, and he opens up a queer gym after he doesn't find a place where he can train without either hiding or suffering harassment. When a man dies in an illegal MMA fight, Steve suddenly finds himself subject of a police investigation led by (surprise!) Detective Danny Williams. In my mind this is another Big and Long Story. Maybe I can find a way to break it down into small chunks.

A kind of dark-ish fic where, despite being a SEAL and therefore very capable of defending himself, thank you very much, Steve finds himself at a disadvantage when he's assaulted by a bunch of homophobe thugs.

I have collected a variety of paragraphs and snippets around a transmasc!Steve headcanon. I haven't figured out what to do with them yet.

And, of course, finish Rainbows Over Waikiki

-

Tagging ✨

I think most people I know have been tagged in the original post. I'm adding (no pressure) @cowandcalf, @goneahead, @emphasisonthehomo, @lukeclvez and anyone (you!) who wants to join in.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of June 2024

[last month]

June was a ridiculously exciting month of releases--I'd been so looking forward to the new Sunmi single, plus albums from Charli XCX, Megan Thee Stallion, Kehlani, Raveena, and Red Velvet. And then I got surprised by comebacks from The Japanese House, Bol4, Nayeon, and Epik High! And apparently the Suho album is pretty good? And the cupcakKe one is, too? Naturally, though, I was overwhelmed by the excitement and didn't spend much time with those new releases, so this list consists of... none of the aforementioned comebacks. I'm still quite proud of my top 15, though, especially because I had a chance to catch up with some exciting releases from last month (which will be making an appearance here)!

I also got to see Lucy, an absolutely wonderful k-band I've been following since debut, in concert, and it left me with a post-concert high for like a week. (It made me super sensitive to sensory input for a week, too. Like, I couldn't listen to Repion for that whole week, because their harmonies were too powerful, they made my skin feel like it was exploding. I could also FEEL the collars of my t-shirts like ants on my neck oh my god I've never been like that before it was wild.) So what I'm saying was, it was a fantastic concert & left me with a lot of appreciation for how interesting music can be! (Which is probably why the list of five-star songs is so long this month...)

It doesn't make an appearance here, but if you're curious: my pride anthem this month was George Michael's "Freedom! '90". (This is my pride anthem every year, actually, but it just never gets old to me.) Honorable mention to Hayley Kiyoko + Kehlani's "What I Need", and I hope you had a great pride month!

1. 5D (Fifth Dimension) -- The Byrds

You know that U2 lyric that talks about "a song that made some sense out of the world"? Well, here's a song that made some sense out of my world. Like, is it super exciting? Not really. But it shifted something in my soul. It's a song about having enough, and it feels like having enough--that warm guitar, those high harmonies at the end... And the lyrics make me cry. It's a simple song, but it has the feeling of a warm shower on a snowy day stored somewhere inside it. "5D" is magical, and I don't regret a single one of the many times I replayed it this month. (Also, this completes another item on my music bucket list for 2024, which was to like a new Byrds song!)

2. S.O.S -- Taichu, Lali

Since "Top" and "Noche de Sateo" last year, I've been keeping an eye out for Taichu. They have so much charisma--if there's an 'it' factor to being a star, Taichu has it to the max. All this to say, I don't think I could stay away from "S.O.S" if I tried. I don't love it as much as "Noche de Sateo", but it's still fantastic--the beat is super aespacore, and Taichu's raspy "SOS / save your souls" is one of the most iconic lines of the year. (Spotify says they're saying save our souls, but I like my headcanon better, so...) I've been singing the chorus all month, too. I would 100% recommend checking this one out, if just for the spectacle of Taichu's first verse--they're such a skilled performer.

3. +82 -- Badvillain

I'm so happy to announce that I've finally connected with a fifth-gen group! Though I definitely enjoy "Super Shy" and "Melting Point" and a few other fifth-gen hits, I've been feeling a little like I'm missing out, since I just haven't gotten into any of the new groups everyone's been so excited about. But Badvillain? They're exactly my kind of group. They're a perfect amount of obnoxious, reminiscent of CLC, but with the sleek rapping of XG (another group I've been REALLY getting into lately) added on. I love the weirdness of this debut, the drama of it. (Purplekiss got my attention with "Ponzona", a similarly melodramatic dark-concept debut, and I stan them now, so...) I definitely don't think this debut will be for everyone, but I call it a victory for obnoxious girlpop. CLC may be gone, but Badvillain proves that their spirit is still with us!! "+82", a short b-side attached to Badvillain's debut single, was released with a performance video, and it's such a gem. And yes, it's super short--like, less than 2 minutes long--but it's so packed with explosive brass (think: Demi Lovato's "Confident" or "Tell Me You Love Me") and thundering bass that it feels much fuller than its runtime suggests. It's an instant shot of energy, like all the best girlpop is. Here's to hoping that I'll like their future comebacks, and maybe Badvillain will be the first fifth-gen group I stan!

4. Popper! -- Akrilla, Taichu

Yep, it's Taichu again! "S.O.S" was a little weird, a little industrial, but it definitely felt like a song; in contrast, I can't promise that "Popper!" is actually a song--it's more like ambient noise (ambient, if you live in a sci-fi dystopia) with a chorus that pops up occasionally. People say Itzy & Stray Kids make construction zone music, so I guess "Popper!" is kind of like POV: you're a brick in a building that is currently being destroyed with a wrecking ball. And to be clear, I love it--the layers of sound are absolutely captivating. I can appreciate that even though "Popper!" sounds like the sonic equivalent of throwing paint at the wall, it takes work to get production this pristine. I imagine that every detail had to be sooo carefully placed, all these strange, creative sounds carefully sculpted into a landscape with the appearance of chaos. The more I listen to this one, the more addicted I become--it's surprisingly listenable! (I think we can thank the ever-charismatic Taichu for that, but maybe that's just my bias talking.)

5. Cosmic Love -- Faux Paz

Here we have the sulking song of the month! I've loved this song for forever--it's actually one of the songs that got me into Faux Paz--but I was reminded of it when I heard the name of the new Red Velvet album. When I revisited "Cosmic Love", it kickstarted a craving that lasted well into July. This arrangement is Faux Paz at their strongest--the whole arrangement is dense and cushion-y, and the final chorus, in particular, makes use of the choir's wall of voices just so excellently. The soloist's voice is heart-wrenching, too. I have no idea where Faux Paz finds so many people who can belt the way their soloists do--or is it all one person? I have no idea, but they're fantastic. While we're talking about Faux Paz, I've also been obsessed with their cover of "Chandelier" this month!

6. New Me -- Flo Milli, Anycia

I wish I loved the new Flo Milli album more than I do--as someone who lives for her campy mean-girl aesthetic, I want to love all her music!! But as of now, I haven't really found much to latch onto from Fine Ho, Stay. (It's not bad at all, just nothing I've been obsessing over!) That being said, I have to give "New Me" some credit, because it has a lot going for it: a great beat, a great feature (WOMEN WITH DEEP VOICES APPRECIATION POST), and some great ad-libs (which are exactly as obnoxious as I expect from a Flo Milli song, of course). I can totally see someone else falling head-over-heels for this track, but I think I'll be going back to leaving "Not Friendly" and "Big Steppa" on repeat, instead. I'm definitely inspired to check out Anycia's new album, though--

7. Más Lejos -- Atalhos

The summer heat is really hitting now, so, as per my tradition, I'm bringing out the wistful indie rock. "Más Lejos" was one of my favorite releases last summer, and it's still just as infinitely listenable as it was last year. I was inspired to check out more stuff from Atalhos this month, too, and I'm really impressed! I'm SO hyped to listen to their album Em Busca Do Tempo Perdido, since I'm pretty sure it's a Proust reference?? That's so cool, I was not expecting Proust to show up on my Spotify.

8. you should see me in a crown -- Billie Eilish

My brother and I were talking about albums that we think would be on Best Albums of All Time lists fifty years from now, and I'm confident that a Billie Eilish album will be on there--whether it'll be When We All Fall Asleep or Happier Than Ever, I'm not sure, but definitely one of those! So anyway, that conversation inspired me to revisit When We All Fall Asleep, since I had only paid attention to its ballads before. And oh my GOD, "you should see me in a crown" is fantastic. I remember it being popular, but I don't think I ever gave it a proper listen back in 2019--I was missing out. That bass in the chorus, with those shuddering effects, feels like tectonic plates moving. This song has so much grandeur, and Billie Eilish's performance here makes me believe she's the earth itself, a natural disaster waiting to happen. This is even more impressive than I was expecting.

9. Virtual Angel -- ARTMS

This actually isn't my favorite song from the album, but I'm not surprised it's my most-listened. "Virtual Angel" has all the magic I expect from a Loona(ish) comeback--that fluttering instrumental, for one, doesn't feel like something a human could produce, so I'm quite convinced it's a gift from the angels.

10. Hide & Seek -- Pixy

After watching a video from Planet Minjae on YouTube, I was inspired to revisit some of my favorite fourth-gen discographies, and Pixy is one of those. These ladies have some fantastic b-sides, and the group as a whole is way too underrated. I love the Chosen Karma mini ("Falling" & "Whisper" oh my god oh my god oh my god), but I'd never fully appreciated "Hide & Seek" before this month. Pixy don't have the production budget to make this song as much of a masterpiece as it could be, but I can see the vision here--the tongue-in-cheek intro, the commitment to brass in the instrumental (chorus and verses?!!!?!?!!!), and that fantastic rap section. Everything about this song is ambitious, and it really should be a hit.

11. Ah Yeah -- EXID

I have a whole ramble in my journal about how this is the best girl crush song ever. (Yes, it's like technically the tail end of the sexy concept or whatever, but this is literally EXID doing Blackpink before Blackpink, so I'm calling it one of the mothers of girl crush. And it outdid them ALL. Just saying.) EXID has Mamamoo-level vocals + a 4minute attitude (I love you, LE); they're pure power, and "Ah Yeah" lets them give their all. And the way they control the song--those little moments of commanding the beat to a halt--is such a nice little touch that really elevates the girl power concept. This song isn't new to me, but I fell in love all over again this month!

12. The Killa -- TXT

When this album first came out, I listened to the first minute of "The Killa", was like oh look it's tinnitus again, and then I went and listened to "Tinnitus" instead. But I really underestimated this song! "The Killa" is hazy and distorted in a way that "Tinnitus" isn't--I find those weird, robot-y harmonies in the chorus so captivating. I love how the production here is so layered and creative, and I think this song will continue to age quite well.

13. Te Encontrei em SP -- Atalhos, Delfina Campos

Re: my Atalhos binge! This one isn't my favorite--it's so wispy and laid-back that it becomes kind of monotone--but that saxophone is wonderful. They really give the saxophone room to breathe in the instrumental, instead of relegating it to one short solo, and the fuzzed-out production is really interesting!

14. Armageddon -- Aespa

This chorus has been everywhere all month, and I'm more than happy to get caught up in the hype. Like, I can't stop craving the "imma get it dunnnnnnn" bit, and whenever I can finally get it out of my head, I hear a snippet of it on YouTube Shorts--and there, the craving is back. That crunchy production is exactly what I want in an Aespa song, too! I don't know if the Aespa ladies really do this song justice--their voices are gorgeous, don't get me wrong, I just think I would enjoy "Armageddon" more if their performances leaned more into its moodiness. So it's not my favorite Aespa song, but I'm happy to succumb to its popularity and spend a summer leaving it on repeat!

15. Boom -- Nmixx

Yeah fine I get it now. It's fantastic, whatever. Nmixx's album this year was super exciting and wonderful, whatever. (Look, Nmixx songs have a history of giving me headaches, headaches which I'm still a little bit bitter about. But I'll get over it eventually... the bitterness is hard to maintain, especially after "Passionfruit"...) "Boom" places a lot of pressure on its hooks--it's more like a highlight medley than a song--but that "tick tick tick tick boom boom" hook is surprisingly sturdy. The whole thing ends up feeling coherent in a way that is deeply confusing to me: how does it do that? What a masterpiece. Also, that glossy house section at the end is to die for!!

Five-Star Songs This Month

Butterfly Effect -- ARTMS

And here we have my favorite song from Dall. I've spent the month with the album, and this is the one that really sticks with me. That sonar-sounding vocal hook is just two notes, but it's ridiculously gorgeous.

Chokehold Cherry Python -- Ashnikko

Ashnikko has met her match with the aggressive guitar in this song. The combination of the two? It's like being struck by lightning. Also, their song "Deal With It" (with Kelis) probably isn't a five-star song, but it's SUCH a summer hit!! I've been listening to that one a bunch, too.

De Zombis -- Repion

Check out more of Repion's back catalog, they said. It'll be fun, they said. This song, the first track on Repion's first album, is such a way to debut. Like, it's painful how overwhelmingly beautiful it is. The vocals here are piercing--the front-and-center harmonies I love so much about Repion aren't something they grew into; apparently, this duo's vocals have been sending electric shocks through their music as long as they've been around. The roughness of this song's production brings a completely unique kind of intensity, too, something so different from their recent releases but in the same spirit--Repion knows how to make rock anthems that come straight for my heart.

Drug Free America -- Bleachers

A joke song with surprising longevity. Like, I appreciated the absurdity of this one right from the start, but I didn't expect to actually enjoy it as music. Here we are, though! The snappy comedy of the lyrics balances out the sonic soup of the vocal effects, and "Drug Free America" is full of fun lines that stay fun on repeat listens. Look, I've been obsessed with Bleachers for forever, now--I'm willing to indulge pretty much anything they put out, so this gets five stars and there's nothing you can do about it.

Mine -- Aespa

I think I tend to like Aespa most when they're ice-cold ("Illusion" is my favorite aespa song for a reason), and this song is right up my alley. I defer to @pocima's write-up on this one though, because she does "Mine" more justice than I could! [link]

Popper! -- Akriila, Taichu

S.O.S -- Taichu, Lali

Starburned and Unkissed -- Caroline Polachek

The I Saw the TV Glow soundtrack strikes again! After falling in love with yeule's "Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl" last month, I listened through the whole soundtrack album and zeroed in on this fascinating song. It's a hazy, ghostly scream, it's a ballad left out in the cold too long, iced over and sleeping in the snow and dreaming desperately of a home it may never see again. I don't know, it just hits. Both yeule & Caroline Polachek's contributions to this soundtrack are beautifully warped--I love how these songs find so much soul and emotion and life energy in decidedly unnatural sonic worlds.

[otomeblcass]

Nu:Carnival Character Headcanons:

⚛》》》Favorite Wines《《《⚛

~Quick note~ My entire week has consisted of me making this list that no one ever asked for, or the probably ever thought about. For some further context, I work as a wine specialist at a giant liquor store, and I have way too much time on my hands where I read a lot about wine and sake. I've added images of one of my favorite wine references, Wine Folly, and highly recommend their website and books if you're curious about wine. Without further a do, if you don't mind a long post, I have combined some of my obsessions: Nu:Carnival and what wines I think suit each character.

Eiden:

Port, like all the way, he wants something sweet and Hella strong. Considered a fortified wine, put simply a wine that has been given additional alcohol, Port comes in many styles, but most are sweet. Eiden specifically loves the chocolate and nutty flavors that these wines have. Also this wine can be a hit or miss for people, so Eiden gets a great laugh out of seeing others' reactions to his favorite wine. Give this baby a bottle of Port and he can talk for hours on end about the crazy stories he’s collected after some wild nights with this wine.

Petite Sirah, Aster would want a wine that is very full in body (aka something that really coats the mouth, similar to blood) and powerful bold flavors, he’s an extremely experienced wine connoisseur, or “wine snob” as Morvay would say, but regardless Aster knows his wines. He loves showing off his personal cellar, explaining the areas they come from, and he especially enjoys bragging about the cost of the wines he’s collected. 

Aster:

It’s taken Morvay quite some time to get into wine. For many years he’s been firm in his statement that he doesn’t like wine like that shitty-little-vampire does. Most of the red wines Aster has made him try are far too bitter, and the white wines are sour as hell. He’s finally realized dessert styled wines exist, such as Muscat of Alexandria, and can be caught sometimes at night sipping this wine with some biscotti as a treat.

Morvay:

Yakumo at first glance comes across as someone who would not be into a “dry red wine” so it’s really interesting to think that his favorite wine would be a Malbec. There has been many occasions where he was served a much sweeter wine than he would personally like, but obviously it’s Yakumo, poor baby is too nervous to let someone know they got his order wrong. Much like Eiden’s favorite wine Port, Malbec has similar rich dark fruit flavors and a smooth chocolatey finish, these wines are a lot dryer in comparison, but not too bitter. It is a wonderful balance for the precious chef Yakumo. (This is one of my favorites too, let's go Yakumo bb)

Yakumo:

Vidal Blanc is not only a bougie sounding wine, but it goes exceptionally well with fresh fruits and desserts. This wine is an elegant off-dry style white wine that can be used to flaunt floral and fruity flavors without being too sweet or childish. As we know Edmond has his sweet tooth, so he would really enjoy the Ice wine style this grape can be used to make. Ice wines are as sweet as dessert wines can go and they take a lot of time and effort to make just a small amount. It’s a perfect pairing for our perfectionist and hardworking captain.

Edmond:

Every winemaking area has established a sparkling wine (I’m somewhat imagining what wines would correspond to the different Klein regions) Olivine is very curious to try anything new, so when traveling and discussing things with nobles he has grown very fond of a particular sparkling wine, Prosecco. He always has gravitated towards a gentle sweetness and slightly acidic flavors and this wine has a perfect balance. As per Eiden’s recommendation, Olivine has discovered this wine makes amazing cocktails such as mimosas, so every now and then Olivine enjoys making those for a relaxing brunch with the clan members. 

Olivine:

An interesting thing we've learned about Quincy during this current Rainy Season event is that his favorite foods include honey, jerky, and dried fish, very natural and raw focused foods that absolutely suit him. A unique wine that has a unique flavor profile of earthy fruits, herbs, and meat is one called Pinotage. Quincy, much like all our wood territory babes, is highly skilled in the winemaking trade. Pinotage is a wine that is very challenging to produce and Quincy has practically mastered it. So much so Quincy doesn’t really drink the wine, but prefers to keep it stored away. He’s positive that the right time will come to enjoy this wine, perhaps with a special individual, right when it’s aging duration has peaked. 

Quincy:

Umeshu or Japanese Plum wine, this is a tricky one because it technically is fermented ume fruit with the addition of distilled alcohol, aka this is a liqueur not a wine at all. Kuya is known for being a trickster though, so it’s a perfect match for him. Umeshu can be made at home, though it does take a lot of time to infuse, it makes the occasions when Kuya drinks this a real treat. The flavors of Umeshu are a mix of sweet and sour fruits like plums or apricots with a lingering alcohol burn. Kuya takes a lot of pride in homemade Umeshu and will lure others (Eiden) into drinking this delicious and sneakily strong beverage with him. (Another personal favorite of mine ♡)

Kuya:

Favorable of all things delicious and mostly edible, Garu and Karu are foodies willing to try anything at least once. They’re super new to trying alcoholic drinks and can’t really handle the smell and taste of something with a strong alcohol content. Concord is a classic beginner wine and it has a very distinguishable grape flavor, let’s think like a traditional grape juice or jelly. Depending on how it’s made, this wine can range from non-alcoholic all the way to higher percentages, Garu and Karu are big fans of having this sweet wine with snacks. Who knew that a wolf yokai would be obsessed with concord grape wine with a pb&j sandwich!

Garu & Karu:

He really enjoys the sweet and lightly sparkling version of this grape varietal, Moscato D’Asti. They have a full assortment of fruit aromas and flavors like peaches and honey, and they have a low ABV making them super easy to drink. Blade describes this wine as “Cute Juice” hence that’s his first response to describing the effervescence. He’s an even bigger fan of being able to use his e-droid abilities to analyze the many fruit flavors in this wine and he’s always excited to share the flavors whenever his darling is ready to try them. *wink wink*

Blade:

A great leader must also know great wines, and it seems super likely that Soleria would make bright red fruit focused wines with lots of herbs and spices. Sangiovese is an extremely versatile grape that can be blended and aged into numerous wine styles; it goes even better with savory and spiced foods. Dante is very intelligent when it comes to wine and is even more impressive when he guides others through a proper wine tasting. Even though Dante has a fierce way of showing it, deep down he really just wants others to appreciate wine the way he does.

Dante:

Rei really enjoys all of the genetic mutations of the Pinot Noir grape, like Pinot Gris or Pinot Blanc, coming from a scientific perspective. More often than not though, the complex red wine Pinot Noir is his favorite to consume, especially during his late night studies and experimentations. Depending on where this wine is grown the flavors can be very misconstrued, quite often it is thought to be a fruity and slightly sweet, but it takes people by surprise by being tart and dry. Rei really likes a lighter bodied red wine that has a slight bite of sassy acidity just like him. 

Rei:

Thank you for reading! I spent way too long thinking about and writing this. I'd love to know what others think and what your favorite wine is if you have one! I also just realized I never thought of wines for Rin or Huey, but I really am not super sure what I'd pick for them.

[goodpupsinc]

I've been thinking about Obey Me headcanons for 4 days straight but have nowhere to put them so they go here now

Asmo? Not Cis. Not even close. Pink hair AND pronouns baby

All of them have autism, I will not take criticism on this.

Adding to this-Lucifer organizes his papers by due date and level of completion. If they're half finished but due in two weeks they go to the bottom of the list. Though he usually finishes everything a timely manner.

Barbatos definitely owns a vespa or some form of motor scooter but he only uses it because Diavolo doesn't like him using portals all the time- If you ask nicely you may also ride but he is going to put so much padding on you it may not be worth in the end

Levi doesn't have eyebrows, something went horribly wrong during brother bonding time with Asmo and he hasn't seen them since, but it's fine because he has bangs

Belphie is the shortest of his brothers and Raphael is the shortest of the (adult) angels

Mephisto definitely wears steel-toed boots with custom metal soles so he can make his entrance KNOWN aka be as loud and annoying as possible

Trans Levi ok thank you, love you bye

[defiedlife]

Tags u back with no. 4 (for aven!)

sexuality headcanons.

4. what are some features of others that arouse them, or they find arousing in a sexual situation?

I thought I remembered this question, and as it turns out, I've answered it before here! It's been a while, but it all still holds up as of 2.1.

But I wanna add a little something more since just linking that and not adding much else feels like cheating when there's more I could say.

In looking back at that, though it does still hold up, it's not a complete answer. From a purely physical standpoint, if he were to make a list of what Aventurine finds attractive and arousing, it'd be as follows: nice hair, pretty eyes, physically fit, a little muscle, perhaps an air of mystery about them since that's a likely sign of intelligence and/or someone being more than what they appear (which would indicate to him that they could likely keep up with him and maybe even give him a run for his money, and he likes that).

However, re-reading that previous answer and thinking about some of his recent interactions has helped me realize that he really wants someone he can feel a connection with on some level, whether that's intellectually, emotionally, or both. Sure, he'll have a one-night stand with someone he finds physically attractive so long as it's all consensual, but that's something reserved for when he's in desperate need of that kind of stress relief or if it'll further some scheme of his in the long run, and only if he's not in a committed relationship. He doesn't sleep around just to sleep around.

As a quick tangent—I've been debating over it for a while (aka since within the first week or so of me writing Aventurine here on tumblr), but given that his preferences and desires are what they are, I'm gonna call it and say that he's demisexual with a tendency to prefer men.

All that said, regardless of gender, he appreciates the attitude and emotions his partner directs at him and brings to situations of intimacy. When his partner is into it and he can tell, it both arouses him and makes his heart sing. For an answer that focuses more on the physical, just to add a little more in that regard, if he's with someone he loves, everything about them is arousing to him—their touch, their eyes, their voice, their muscles and curves, their breath on his skin—all of it.

[liquorisce]

Do you have like little observations or details about IDILY's Eren and Mikasa that didn't make it to the final story? Like very little facts about them that you thought about but weren't relevant to the story, or you just didn't incorporate but thought about, or even your own "headcanons" about them in the story?

I've been waiting for a long time to answer this bc i needed to be at my desk but!!! tysm for this question

i wrote a huge bit about mikasa's childhood and how she became friends with armin... that didn't make it in the story :( idk if i will be able to fit it in later or when i finally finish it and go back to revise it maybe i can fit it in... if u have any suggestions pls share :)

but here u go!!

i dreamed i left you - deleted scene [4.5k+]

MIKASA

[14 years old]

One day when I was fourteen, my mother told me I’d be changing schools. I blinked at her slowly and asked only one thing, “But Mother, it’s the middle of term. Won’t it affect my grades?” 

“No, Mikasa. They said they’ll take care of it.” And then she sat next to me and did something she did often when she wanted to tell me something she deemed important; she caressed my hair and tucked it behind my ear. “Listen to me carefully.” I was right. “This is a really good opportunity for you, Mikasa. It is a very prestigious school. And we are so lucky that we have a chance to send you to a school like this,” she hesitated at this, looking somewhat shameful, “with our limited means.” 

Growing up poor makes you understand these sorts of euphemisms well. Limited means, Our station, Within our status; these were just different ways to talk about money and our lack thereof. “Then how will we manage, Mother?” 

She gave me a forced smile. “One of the patrons of the restaurant has arranged it. You will have a full scholarship until you finish your studies.” She patted my head, signaling the end of our conversation. “Pending good grades, of course.” 

My mother never had to worry about that. My grades were always excellent. It was something she’d beaten into me when I got my first grade: A–, on a math test. Turns out I had made a mistake and added two lemons into the basket instead of removing them, and hence arrived at an incorrect total. I made sure to read every question at least twice, ever since then, just to be sure. And if I ever forgot, she was always happy to remind me, ruler in hand. 

“What does that mean then? A prestigious school?” My friend Sasha had asked me when I told her we could no longer eat lunch together every day. That was my comprehension of friendship back then. My life had little in the name of adversity, for a friend to adopt any opposing significance. And I didn’t have much time, with all the extra-curriculars my mother had packed into my schedule, for playdates or any such thing. 

“Mother says it means a lot of important people send their kids there to study.” 

“So does that mean they’re all smart? That would make sense,” Sasha says thoughtfully. “You’re a smart girl, Mikasa.” 

“I’m not sure,” I say honestly. “I do think they’d have much fancier lunches than you or I, though.” 

Sasha pouts at her egg sandwiches. “I’m jealous. Although I love your lunch! Mama Ackerman makes the best stir-fried noodles.”

I passed her the rest of my lunch and gave her a small smile. “She only makes it because she knows you eat more than half of it.” It was true, the cut apples and bananas were meant to make up a significant portion of my lunch.

My uniform arrived the weekend before I was meant to start. It was fancier than my current one. It had a little gold logo, with three ornate circles intersecting with each other. And the fabric was better too, the sweater was actually warm, and the colours were a pleasing cream and white instead of the ugly grey that I wore until last week. 

I stared at my reflection in the mirror as my mother pulled on my hair ungently and combed it back into a braid. My bangs covered my forehead. “Did you memorise the list that I gave you?” She asked. 

“Yes.” 

“It’s important for you to understand who is who. This isn’t like your public school—” 

“I memorised it and went through it twice again this morning.” 

“Okay…” I look up at her. My mother and eye have the same eyes, the same hair and probably the same face shape as when she was about twenty years younger. “I know I’m hard on you,” she says, with considerable discomfort. 

I don’t say anything back. What would be the point of acknowledging this? Yes, I breathe air. Yes, my mother treated me harshly. Felt equivalent. Felt normal. She turns me around me and slicks my flyaways down. “But we need to work hard. People like us don’t get the opportunity to take it easy.” 

As I walked the entire way to school that day— my new school was thirty minutes away by foot, whereas my previous school was just one block away— I thought about what she said. At first, I thought that she meant people like us, people without money, could not afford to take it easy, but when I think back to it, she had a faraway look in her eyes. Perhaps she meant the other thing— the matter of our otherness. 

My mother was from overseas. That’s all she said about it. Nothing more to be said, she’d tell me whenever I dared to press her on the subject. As far as she was concerned, I was from here: a real, proper citizen of Paradis. Born and brought up here, I’d never stepped foot on another land. But it didn’t matter. Paradis didn’t have the best of international relations, and here I am, with the face of an outsider. 

I thought this is what had worried my mother, who had obsessively made me memorize a list of “important people” and their children who apparently attended this school. So I now stare at the tall, iron gates that housed a school that looked more like a castle, replete with towers and a medieval facade, with my head filled with names of people I’d never met before. 

<hr>

I didn’t get it at first, but eventually, I understood why my mother made me do it. Apparently “Hi, my name is Mikasa Ackerman,” didn’t really cut it as an introduction around here. There was a lot of “who’s your father?” and “what does your father do?” talk that sounded plain odd to me. I doubt anybody other than Sasha and a couple of other girls, from my previous school, cared to know that my parents owned a small but popular noodle shop in the city centre. But my answers of “Henrik Ackerman,” and “He owns Lemongrass, a noodle shop on 17th Main,” didn’t seem to impress many. So eventually, I just kept my head down and avoided introductions altogether. You didn’t have to speak to anybody if weren’t in anybody’s way. 

It wasn’t always easy though. On one such occasion, I was paired up with Armin Arlert for a history assignment, and as my list of names would remind me, he was the grandson of a very influential ex-Foreign Minister. I stuck my hand out towards him but he didn’t take it. “Mikasa Ackerman, I know,” he says, giving me a small smile, as we head out of class. He saved me the trouble of introduction, but I couldn’t help but wonder what else he knew about me, what else he had heard. 

“My name’s Armin, which you also know, I suppose.” He watches me with his clear blue eyes from across the table. His voice is not fully broken, and he wears his hair in an adorable bowl cut, but as soft as he looked, I could tell there was a hardness within him. It felt comfortable, to be honest. After all, I had a hardness within me too. 

“So,” he said, the next day, when we sat at the library going through a list of potential topics for our paper. “How do you like it at the Academy so far?” 

“It’s nice,” I say automatically. “It’s a wonderful opportunity to be here.” 

“Is it?” I can hear the laughter in his voice. 

“Isn’t it?” 

“I haven’t been anywhere else, so I couldn’t tell you.” 

“The cafeteria is better,” I decide to say, after a moment’s pause. “Than my previous school.” 

He hums and looks back into his notebook. After a few minutes he looks up at me again, “And the people? Are you liking it around here?” 

I’m not sure if he genuinely wants to know, because it was rather obvious that I wasn’t the very social kind. Or perhaps he really doesn’t know, it’s not his business after all. So I tell him, “I’m a bit of a loner, actually.” 

“Amongst this crowd who wouldn’t be.” I raised my eyes at this. Why would a boy like him be a loner, in this school? He had the wealth and the status that, as I had understood after the first four weeks here, would attract anybody into friendship. 

I’d been so absorbed in myself and my desire to stay out of everybody’s way that I hadn’t really noticed anybody else. And when I actually cared to notice, I realised that he was being truthful. Armin didn’t appear to assimilate easily into the crowd of designer brand-wearing, father’s name-touting, genus of Academy students. Instead, he quite often disagreed with them, vocally, sometimes even resulting in skirmishes. 

 One day at lunch— we’d started having lunch together after Armin had shown up on the bench where I ate and said, “figured you wouldn’t mind if another loner joined you,” — he turned up with a swollen cheek and angry tears on his lashes. “Jesus, Armin.” 

“Can you hold up my bangs?” He asks, sounding sulky. “It hurts when my hair keeps touching my cheek.” 

I pull out a bobby pin from my own hair and stick it into his. “We should probably get some ice for you.”

“Already got it.” And he begins to press it onto his cheek, grumbling incoherently. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” 

“If that’s your question, no, I do not want to tell you—” 

“Just tell me what happened.” 

He sighs. “It’s nothing new, Mikasa. Just…” 

I take the ice from him and hold it against his cheek. “Some of the guys from the hockey team were asking if we’re dating.” 

“Oh? That’s— well,” I blush slightly, but I’m not sure why. It’s definitely not because of any secret feelings. “I’m not really allowed to date, you know.” 

Armin looks at me like I have two heads. “Well, parents aren’t really going to be out here saying hey, why don’t you go around smooching that other kid over there! Not when you’re fourteen, but kids do it anyway.” He cringes visibly. “Well maybe Ruth’s mother does, but you know what I mean.” 

I look at him like I don’t know what he means. “Wait,” he says slowly. “What do you mean you’re not allowed to date?” 

“I’m not,” I shrug. “My parents have a very clear no-boys policy while I’m in school. Or probably until marriage, but I haven’t really pressed the details to be honest.” 

Armin is gaping at me. “And you have never wanted to…” 

“We’re only fourteen,” I say somewhat defensively. 

“Almost fifteen,” he corrects sharply, and then, blushing, he says “I-I’ve had crushes before.” He is hiding under his long blonde bangs, which I somehow thought was very cute. 

“Really? What’s it like, then? Having a crush.” 

“I can’t believe you’re asking me that.” He looks somewhat mortified. As if the question I asked was not the logical follow-up to his admitting to having crushes on people. 

“I suppose I could ask you who you have a crush on. If that’s what you want.” 

“Mikasa, you’re weird,” he says, cheeks still giving away his embarrassment. At least he didn’t look upset anymore. 

“So does that mean I won’t be getting any answers?” I tease him. 

He takes a deep breath. “Okay. You promise not to judge me or anything?”

“Do you have a crush on a teacher or something?” I grin. I could see that with Armin. His naturally inquisitive nature and excellent grades made them quite fond of him. I’d even heard some of the other students grumbling about how he was a ‘teacher’s pet.’ 

“No! What?” he sputters, “I don’t think we should be making light of the power imbalance in that dynamic—” 

“It’s a crush, Armin, not a relationship. Anyway, if not a teacher, then who is this mysterious crush of yours that you are so hesitant to tell me about?” 

He huffs. “Ok but you have to swear not to tell anyone about it.” 

I roll my eyes. “Pinky promise.” 

“You know that guy in second year? Boris Feulner?” 

I can vaguely recollect such a name on my mother’s list. “Mm-hmm.” 

“We go to swimming lessons together. And I, um—” Armin is positively pink at this point. He is twisting the pink ends of his fingers, there is a pink flush along his neck, and his cheeks have also attained that colour; impressively, his entire body is pink. “Well, let’s just say that I have spent an ungodly amount of time imagining him in his swimsuit when I’m back in my room.” 

I blink at him. And then I burst out laughing. “That’s your way of saying that you find him attractive?” 

“It’s not funny.” 

“No, I guess not,” I say, still laughing. “What’s to judge here? He’s one class higher than us, is he?” 

“No, that’s not it. It’s the fact that, well, that he’s a he. That I find him attractive.” A stupid look crosses his face, and it’s Armin, so stupid looks seldom cross his face. 

“That’s quite last decade of you to be embarrassed about something like that,” I say thoughtlessly. “Isn’t it legal now to be with whoever you want?” 

“My sexuality is not about keeping with the times, Mikasa,” he snaps. Ok, I guess I deserved that. 

“I’m sorry,” I say quickly, “I didn’t mean it like that, Armin.” 

He waves me off impatiently. “Anyway, in case you hadn’t noticed, what is legal isn’t always what is accepted. Here,” he makes a circle to denote this school, “amongst this world, everyone plays by a specific set of rules. What you study, who you date, who you marry, it’s all scripted. Sons take over their father’s businesses, whether it falls into legal or illegal lines, and women frame their fancy diplomas and stand by their husbands at galas and make polite talk, and when it’s time, they pop out a baby or two to do their ‘duty.’”

I listen to him, stunned. “What do you mean… They don’t go to work, after all this?” By all this what I meant, was the ridiculous amount of tuition that was being spent on a school like this. Followed by, no doubt, even more expensive tuition for a college degree they would never use. 

“They don’t need to.” Armin’s voice drops to a hushed murmur. “Half of the kids here belong to Mafia families, the other half mostly politics or business. All of them, every last one, is corrupt.” 

“B-but I thought—” 

“Everyone’s got legitimate businesses to cover up anything shady, so no, nobody is going to introduce themselves as the daughter of an Underground Family.”

He gives me a pitying look, probably at the cluelessness that I can’t hide. “Sheesh, you don’t know anything, do you? Where are you even from?” 

“I told you already,” I say, somewhat irritated, “... we live close to the Oriental Quarter. My Father just owns a restaurant, I know that there’s,” I gesture vaguely, “some sort of mafia, but I don’t really know much more than that. I can’t really tell the difference between the Mafia and the police anyway.” 

“And that’s the real problem with our society,” he mutters angrily. His blue eyes return to mine. “I know that’s what you said, but I thought… Usually, everybody has more of a story here.” 

“No story here,” I say blandly, “Just the daughter of a restaurant owner.” Who is apparently clueless and kept deliberately misinformed. 

It’s not that I didn’t know about the Mafia. In Sina, it’s something you grow up with. You have the government, you have the police, and you have the Mafia, or the Underground, as it’s called here. The truth is, there’s no way to ignore it. When I was old enough to be at the restaurant to help with small chores and odd jobs, my parents drilled it into me: Keep your head down, be polite, give them what they want, and get on with your day. I’d seen Mother and Father do it too, to ‘important customers,’ treating them like God as soon as they stepped into our small joint. Handing envelopes of cash to men with guns hanging off their low-slung jeans, and unruly hair.that  Money that my parents spent their blood, sweat and tears on. That’s who I thought of when I heard ‘Mafia.’ 

When I was younger I almost asked them why they gave away their own hard-earned money to somebody else when it was them who worked for it. Don’t we own the restaurant, Papa? I almost asked him once. But something held me back. Much later, after eavesdropping on an argument between my parents, I learnt that it was “protection.” That these men— who I’d grown to believe were so important— were just enforcers who collected payments from us in turn for their ‘protection’, a heavily jargoned word that people would often mistake for defence against an outsider, but what it really was, was a bribe. A fee extorted from people who had no other choice. I guess I’d always known that the Mafia was a bigger thing, something I couldn’t even comprehend, invisible but everywhere. 

What I had never imagined was that they would exist in a world like this: Shiny and filthy rich, dressing their children in the most expensive linens, while they were up to their arms in blood. Milling companies, Breweries, Textile manufacturers, I saw literally everything on that list and didn’t suspect once that they had anything to do with the Underground. And now they were all around me.

“You’re shaking,” Armin says, softly. “Mikasa, are you okay?” 

I nod, and try to say something, but I can’t find the words. Something has happened to me. I feel choked, my heartbeat has begun to pulse rapidly. My hands are balled into fists on my skirt. “I just—” I suddenly remember the time I’d seen my father with a gun to his temple, his voice shaking as he asked me to leave the room. I remember that when he came home that night, my mother was crying and we ate little more than leftovers that entire week because “business was not that good”. “I—” I remember the time I went to fetch onions from the store because we ran out. When I came back one of the men had his hand on my Mother’s behind as he ordered food and my mother was frozen still. “I hate them,” I manage finally, and my voice is raspy and unlike myself. There are little crescent moons in my palm from where I have dug my fingernails into them. “I hate them,” I say even louder, this time more frantic, “I hate them so much–” 

“Mikasa!” Armin’s hand is heavy on my shoulder and he looks at me alarmed, baby-blue eyes filled with concern. That’s when I realise I was almost screaming. “I know.” He squeezes my hand. “I know. I hate them too.”

It’s been so long since I’ve felt this feeling. Every now and then I feel it, this shaking, violent, urge that spills out of my throat and into a bottle inside of my heart, every time topping up and up and up until now, when the lid shakes and it threatens to spill over. “I feel angry too,” Armin is saying. I don’t hear him fully because the violence inside of me is loud. “It isn’t right. None of this is right.” 

Angry? Somehow that word doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like it’s enough to contain everything that this feeling really is. 

Eventually my vision refocused, and my breathing calmed. Armin was still watching me carefully, his cheek swollen and his lips bitten. “Anyway,” he said tentatively, after he had given me enough time to be in my own head. “Do you want to know the rest of what happened with the hockey boys?” 

“Sorry,” I say, distractedly, “... We veered off.” 

He waves me off again. “I told them we weren’t dating. They didn’t believe me at first. But then one of them said,” he puffs his shoulders up and deepens his voice comically, “She doesn’t date faggots, probably.”

“Armin,” I gasp, shocked. 

“It’s fine, he’s not wrong.” He shuts up my sputtering buts, and grins, looking mighty pleased with himself. “I told him you didn’t date braindead morons like him either.” 

I groan. “And that’s why you got socked?” 

He shrugs. “Well was I wrong?”

…

Two months into our second year in high school, our class teacher announced that a new student would be joining us. By this time, Armin and I had grown comfortable enough to pick our seats side by side. This school was well funded so we had nice seats, with a little cushion on the chair, and a large enough desk to spread out your things comfortably. There was little space between us, so a mid-volume whisper was sufficient to communicate during class, most times. 

Armin looked disinterested, but I was curious about this new student. It was somebody outside of my list, after all. A few minutes after being told by Miss Langnar to welcome the new kid and help him cover up anything he might have missed, the ‘kid’ in question walked in. It was probably strange to refer to another student, at my grand old age of fifteen, as a ‘kid,’ but it seemed to suit him. He was tall, with dark brown hair that didn’t sit very neatly atop his head, and large green eyes that seemed like a mirror to his soul. Perhaps it was quite a dramatic thing to say about somebody whose name I didn’t even know, but I felt certain of it. For example, I could see now that he was angry. He wasn’t happy to be here, and it shone in the brilliance of his verdant eyes, making even a thing like anger appear to be beautiful. I wondered what it must be like to live in that way, to be so honest whether you wanted to be or not.

I felt a sting of envy at that moment, just as my Mother’s words resounded in my head. “Save your anger, Mikasa,” she’d tell me, after whatever punishment she was ‘forced’ to give me— she was always forced to punish me, you see, she didn’t have a choice, it was the only way I would learn my lesson— “it makes you look ugly.” 

“Eren Jaeger,” he says, his voice clipped, not offering anything more as an introduction.

“Is there anything else you’d like to tell your classmates about yourself, Eren?” Miss Langnar prompted kindly, after the awkward moment of silence. 

“Nope. Not really.” 

She looked taken aback, not having expected that response. “Well, why don’t you take a seat next to Mikasa?” She pointed towards the empty desk to my right. “I’m sure she’ll be willing to show you all the important resources in the school and help you catch up.”

Eren Jaeger looked at me then, his large green eyes came to rest on mine. My breath hitched ever so slightly, and I tugged on my lower lip with my teeth. “Sure, Miss Langnar,” I said, sounding somewhat different than usual. 

He watched me as he walked to his desk, as he slid into his seat. And then, unexpectedly, he gave me a small smile. “Hey,” he said. His eyes were still stormy, a deep annoyance swirling within them, but his gesture let me know that it had nothing to do with me. My teeth dug further into my lower lip, any more and it would have bled. Forcing it loose, I replied, “Hi.” 

He craned his neck and looked past me, and then said, “Armin.” 

Armin lifted a hand and gave him a small smile. 

I looked at Armin, my eyebrows arched. You know him?

Armin wasn’t telepathic of course so I don’t know if he understood my unspoken question, but he just shrugged at me and turned his attention to what the teacher was saying. 

I watched Eren out of the corner of my eye. He sat back in his seat in a sort of slouch. It instinctively made me sit up a little bit straighter; I would have been beaten at home if I ever displayed that sort of posture. Miss Langnar has begun her lesson and Eren looked straight at her, but I can tell it was that sort of vacant look where he was looking but not really seeing. Primarily because she asked us to take out our textbooks and turn to page 53, and Eren hadn’t moved a muscle. 

“I can share with you, if you like,” I whisper, hoping it was loud enough and that I wouldn’t have to repeat myself because, surprisingly, these words had taken considerable effort. 

He blinks at me, somewhat lost, and then looks at my textbook, which I have pushed towards him. “Oh,” he said. And then he pushed his seat closer to mine, making his desk incongruent from the rest of the line of desks, the noise attracting glances from everybody else. I can feel my cheeks heat up. “Thanks.”

I nod, feeling inexplicably shy, for no apparent reason, pushing my book further towards him until it was half on his desk and half on mine. When Miss Langnar is done with what is on this page and it is time to turn the page, my hand brushes his. I jerked my hand back, feeling an electric tingle on the tips of my fingertips. My heart felt as if it was in my mouth. Eren looked at me strangely. “Sorry,” he said, sounding more confused than sorry.

I sank back into my seat feeling a bit foolish. I wasn’t sure why I was behaving this way, and I was even less sure of why I felt this way. Whatever it was that I was feeling, that is. 

A small folded piece of paper falls into my lap. Are you okay? It reads. I turn around to give Armin a reassuring smile, but when he saw me, his blue eyes twinkled with humour, and his mouth curved into a smirk. 

He throws another wad of paper at me. You’re blushing.

I am not. I write back. But as I write it, I can feel my cheeks grow warmer with embarrassment. What was going on with me?

“Armin,” Miss Langnar called. For a second I worried that she had caught on to our secret messaging system, but it turns out she just called him to hand out worksheets, as she always does, always preferring Armin to do these types of things. 

He still has that smirk on his face when he hands us our worksheets, and for some reason, I feel even more embarrassed now, in front of Eren. 

Later, after two more classes of me sharing my textbooks with Eren, our hands touching inadvertently, and me getting slowly better with my reactions, I slip Armin another note. 

The new boy is pretty, don’t you think? 

I watched Armin as he opened it, feeling unbearably hot in anticipation that he was about to read those words. I wished I could reach out and take it back from him. But I already felt like enough of a fool today. He almost bursts out laughing when he reads it and I want to bury myself in the ground. 

I glance at Eren, and he looks utterly bored— and I thought to myself that this person next to me could even make boredom look pretty. Like it was more of a meaningful thing, as if this plane, and all of us mortals who roamed it, weren’t interesting enough to keep his attention. 

Another paper falls in my lap. Mikasa, do you have a CRUSH?? On Eren Jaeger??

I crumple the paper as quickly as I can, casting a furtive glance at my neighbour, who thankfully, seemed blissfully unaware. 

Ignoring what Armin said, I wrote back, He is pretty, though. Don’t you agree? 

Armin rolled his eyes. FINE. Sure. But I can’t believe The great Mikasa Ackerman finally has a crush on somebody!!!!

Despite my embarrassment, I felt a small smile creep onto my face. I folded the paper neatly and put it in my skirt pocket. So that’s what this, I thought to myself. A crush. 

[ardent-fox]

✨️ Joy List ✨️

Got tagged by the wonderful @metalheadmickey, @look-i-love-u and @deathclassic to create this joy list, thank you my darlings! 🥰

💙 Coming out bi after 20 years of feeling all the feelings. It only happened 3 weeks ago, first here and then to a handful of close people. I grew up and still live in a pretty conservative, close-minded country where saying such a thing could get you in trouble, so having the opportunity to be myself here has been very important to me. Putting a finger on this in this stage of life has been a strange, emotional roller-coaster, but I already feel like a happier, more confident person for finding the balls to ride it.

💙 This place, all of you, the friendships I've made and all the things I got to learn and experience because of them.

💙 The bunny content that Myn @vintagelacerosette shares with me! It's so sweet and thoughtful, especially when life is crazy and I'm not that active here.

💙 Fanart! Fanfics! Gif sets! Headcanons! Having my mind blown by everything on a daily basis cause the boy dolls inspire us all so much is a beautiful thing.

💙 Maintaining a healthier sleep schedule. I'm a person that has to actively keep it going cause it doesn't come naturally to me and being able to experience sunny mornings while in the right state of mind has been amazing.

💙 The job applications I've been sending out. There’s only one I'm really coveting, but no matter what happens it's been great finding decent ads to inspire some daydreams.

💙 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend marathons. I've just finished binging season 1 and the theater buff in me has been living, it's so good!

💙 The fact that my brother and his family will become my neighbors this autumn once they finish renovating the apartment in the building across from ours. Can't wait to have my nephew live so close and have him play in our building's park as he grows up, what a small world.

💙 Our plan to start major renovations on our own home in the summer of 2024. A few things have to line up for that to happen and it's going to be a challenging thing to live through, but the idea of it makes me excited like nothing else.

💙 Going to the movies more often lately and getting tickets to two upcoming local concerts. Hubby and I decided to prioritize experiences over gifts to mark certain occasions and I think it's the best decision we've ever made.

💙 The decision to invest in myself this year and change up my wardrobe and style a little once my financial situation is a bit more stable. I feel that I've neglected this while working from home for 5 years and am ready to introduce Lyds 2.0 to the world.

💙 How happy Jasper the bun has been lately. Just running around, doing binkies and honking his little heart out for no particular reason.

💙 The day getting longer and the mild, winter sun keeping me warm on my walks lately. It feels like spring is around the corner and I couldn't be more glad.

💙 Just hope. After the last few crappy years, I realized I've been afraid to feel it because of all the hardships that kept dashing it. But I'm slowly finding my way back to it as I try my luck out in the world again, and realizing I can restart my life an infinite number of times makes me want to hold on to it with all I have.

That's about it for this time around, I feel like this was an intense joy list and I probably should have journaled some of this shit out instead, but oh well 🙃 I'm a little out of the loop so ignore me if you've done this already, but I'm tagging @look-i-love-u, @celestialmickey, @gallawitchxx, @vintagelacerosette, @heymrspatel, @thisdivorce, @crossmydna, @squidyyy23, @mikhailoisbaby, @auds-and-evens, @sickness-health-all-that-shit, @imikhailotakeyouian, @too-schoolforcool, @tanktopgallavich, @ian-galagher and anyone who sees this and would like to play!

[kazoosandfannypacks]

Merry Christmas to my @cssecretsanta2020 giftee, @booksteaandtoomuchtv !!! It's been so hard not to spoil the reveal, but I'm happy to announce that it's me!

For your gift, I've written you a lovely little fic, (partly based on our Captain Swan Christmas Headcanons lists!)

Emma's First Perfect Christmas by kazoosandfannypacks (General Audiences, 9K words, 9 chapters, CaptainSwan fluff, CaptainCobraSwan)

Like many things in this world, Emma had been indifferent to the holidays, as long as they kept their difference. She’d never had a good Valentine’s date, never been able to afford a real Halloween costume, and couldn’t find much to be thankful for before she arrived in Storybrooke. A lot had changed since her arrival, and even moreso after they broke the first curse- suddenly she had a child, and later parents, and a grandma, and friends, and even later a husband- she now had a family, and the problem with families is that they love to celebrate, they love nostalgia, and sentimentality- and her family excelled at that. They’d started celebrating Thanksgivings after Ingrid sacrificed herself to stop her curse- during those few weeks when everything seemed like a happy ending- though they were then still a couple years off from their happy beginning. But now that they had happiness, and they were living a normal life, Mary Margaret had announced at Thanksgiving dinner that they should add another holiday into the mix- Christmas.

“Why couldn’t she have picked Halloween next?” Emma thought as they drove home from Thanksgiving dinner, “Or fourth of July? Or groundhog’s day- though the Bill Murray movie might hit a little too close to curse on that one.” “Are you alright, love?” Killian asked. “Yeah.” Emma looked at him with a half second’s fake smile, then fixed her eyes back on the road. “Why do you ask?” “Well I’m not the best driver in the family,” Henry piped in from the back seat, “but I’m pretty sure you usually stop at an intersection.” “I’m fine,” Emma said, “Just got a lot on my mind.” “Are you sure, love?” Killian asked. Emma didn’t need to look at him- she could tell by the concern on his voice what worry to read on his face. “We can talk about it later.” Emma said. Killian nodded out of the corner of Emma’s eye, then tried to change the subject. “So, Henry, tell me more about this Christmas we’re going to be celebrating.” Emma tried to just nod along and not stress out as her boys changed the subject to exactly what was weighing on her mind. “It’s a time to celebrate with family,” Henry said, “with lots of peace and hope and goodwill and joy. It’s the closest thing this land has to magic outside of Storybrooke.” “Fascinating!” Killian said. “What brought this celebration about?” “It’s kinda like the birthday of a god, or a king, or something like that.” Henry said. “So like King’s Day?” Killian asked. “King’s Day?” “It’s a holiday from the Enchanted Forest, on the King’s birthday.” “How do you celebrate King’s Day?” Henry asked. “Commiting crimes.” Killian smiled. Emma hit the brakes a little harder than she should’ve as they pulled into the driveway. “You celebrate King’s Day by committing crimes?” She raised an eyebrow at Killian, who flashed a charming smile. “Well, other people celebrated it with festivals and banquets and paying extra taxes. We celebrated by committing crimes.” “Let’s not bring that tradition into our celebration, okay?” Emma asked, “Christmas and stealing don’t exactly go hand in hand.” “Unless you’re the Grinch.” Henry said. “The what?” Killian asked. Henry ignored him, apparently struck with a realization. “Mom, do you think the Grinch is real too?” “The Grinch?” Emma asked, as they got out of the car. “Yeah, and Whos down in Whoville.” Henry added. “Henry, I’m pretty sure that one’s just a…” she was about to say “just a fairytale,’ but as Captain Hook stepped out of her car with a plastic bag of thanksgiving leftovers, she realized she might need to suspend a little more disbelief. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

Read more on ao3!

[xxxnightcorequeenxxx]

You'd think I stake my stupid AU less seriously, but no, this is the kind of messy mood board behind my Strawberry AU. The blue outline is what I think future drawings will be of for the AU. The green outline on the Name means it's Cannon. Purple outline is headcanon names I've either made up, found online, or been suggested by others. (I'd love suggestions for what to call the DP characters missing names or if you know their canon ones.) Also, suggestions for who to pair with what theme. I want it to be set mainly at Casper High so faculty and parents can be added to the list of character parings for themes. Though I think adding Vlad might be fun, too. (Purple Pie Man maybe?)

As for Dan, I can't really see a way to add him in unless I set it after agit. as for how my preferences go I'd like to go in this order; 1. Fruits 2. Simple Candy (peppermint fizz as example) 3. Flowers. 4. More complicated things, like cakes, coffee, ect. It's easier to draw them smelling like the dolls with simple things. (the floating fuits) while Danny is here smelling like strawberries for weeks, nobody else notices the difference. so Danny gonna have to deal with everyone smelling like he walks into a bath and bodywork or the equvilant of a bakery, floreal shop and fruit salad that jumped in a blender togher.

So thoughts? sugestions? Spam fruit emotes if you like.

[the-chosen-fanfiction]

✨Requests Reopened!✨

I'm glad to announce that my requests have opened again! I've had the opportunity to catch up on some work, which will be posted in the upcoming weeks. Thank you for your patience!

A few things have been changed, please read carefully before requesting. 1) I will only take requests through this Google Form. Because I work on both AO3 and Tumblr, it's sometimes difficult to keep an eye on requests so I hope to make things more organised that way. 2) Headcanons have been added to the mix, so feel free to request those as well! (Up to 3 characters per headcanon)

3) Please read the rules carefully before requesting.

I am not sure for how long the requests will be open - it entirely depends on how quickly my inbox floods, but keep an eye on the status in my bio and master post to see if they are still open! I work through them at my own pace. If you're curious to see what is up next, I have a monthly schedule in my Master List as well!

If you want to stay in touch, please consider becoming a member of the Chosen Fanwork Discord server. We are slowly growing a little community with people who love Jesus and The Chosen, and we would love to have you! Producing any kind of fanwork is not a requirement.

Thank you for following and supporting me, that means a lot!

God bless you!