#I'm willing to be blocked by the writers too over this

[inthekitschen]

Frostheim and Vagastrom Ghouls when you tell them you're pregnant

How I think the ghouls would react to having a baby with you, part 1.

Note: even if I personally believe a ghoul wouldn't want kids, I did my best to write the circumstances in which they would possibly want a child. I hope they don't read as too forced! Some are a little longer than others, I'm battling a pretty hard writers block and am just focusing on writing what inspires me.

*reader can get pregnant but is not given gendered pronouns

The King, regrettably, has a negative reaction to your initial announcement that you're pregnant. He thinks about his relationship with his own father, his shortcomings as a ghoul, and tries to push you away. When he comes to his senses, he'll make it up to you tenfold. Jin treats you like royalty, like he's your servant.

He's a very involved parent. Jin makes sure you and your child are both taken care of. They're his little prince/ss, after all.

The Advisor is not having a child with you before you're both ready. There are no surprises with Tohma, not really. So when you do announce your pregnancy, he probably already expected it. He's very attentive to you during your pregnancy, attending all of your appointments with you and building everything in the nursery.

If any parent could be 100% on top of everything, it’s Tohma. When the baby arrives, he's already created a schedule that your child miraculously follows. Part of you wonders if he's bribing them in some way.

The Archer panics when he sees the positive test. He definitely assumes you're pranking him, and when he realizes that he's actually going to be a dad, he cries. He does everything he can to be as supportive as possible, but he's definitely terrified.

Kaito is a mess when you bring the baby home. He doesn't want to leave their side, or yours. He's a hoverer, for sure. He asks the same questions over and over because he's so scared he'll mess up your kid.

The Knight is ecstatic when you give him the news. Lucas already treated you like a princess before you were pregnant, but now it's increased tenfold. Good luck trying to do any heavy lifting.

Being a father suits him. Something shifts in him, he's happier. Before, he was happy, but restrained. Around your child, he laughs and smiles more frequently.

The Ex-Con is terrified. He loves you, of course, but it took him long enough to overcome his fear of hurting you — now he has a tinier, more defenseless version of you to worry about. He joins you for your appointments, a silent warning for anyone who might mean you harm. He may not always know what the doctors are talking about, but he knows he'll do everything in his power to keep you safe.

The first time Alan holds your child, he cries. He isn't willing to give them back to the doctors and nurses, and when he does, he watches them like a hawk. He's kind of clueless when it comes to appointments, but he makes up to it with effort.

The Influencer doesn't want kids. He calls them brats, makes faces when the topic is brought up, and tells you to forget about it. What he doesn't tell you is how terrified he is of the idea of being responsible for raising another human being when he knows how fucked up he is — because, let's be real, he knows. He knows he would respond terribly to the stress. He knows he would take it out on you. He knows the kid would grow up to hate him, and he knows he would deserve it.

Leo would have to put in some serious work to ever be ready to have a kid, if he decides he wants one. If that day ever comes, he'd actually be pretty good at it.

The Rider isn't expecting the news of your pregnancy, but when it comes, something clicks into place for him. It feels right. He's a natural when it comes to managing your mood swings and your weird cravings. If you ever get insecure about your weight gain the farther along in your pregnancy and after the baby is born, he lifts you effortlessly. The man can lift a fridge, he's got you no problem.

Even before the baby arrives, Sho locks in. He's done with Leo's schemes. He'll still go out with you on date nights, and he loves taking you and the baby out to experience life.

[midnightiscool]

Real talk, and I'm going to be fully upfront about this; You have to put your porn after a "Read More" or something when you say "Minors DNI" or "18+" or whatever.

By not doing that, you cannot be upset if a Minor interacts with your things, because you didn't take the appropriate steps.

You're being a poser dude, you don't actually care about the nonsense you're preaching. Like I get it, they're probably going to look anyway. But that does absolve your innaction for what you preach.

[rootedinrevisions]

Too Late

SUMMARY: Tyler is forced to choose between the career he loves and the woman he loves. After leaving for a chase after a fight with his girlfriend, Tyler's world spirals into chaos. He struggles to balance is job with the life he wants. Both you and Tyler are forced to confront what you're willing to sacrifice for love and whether there's still time to fix what's been damaged.

A/N: Thank you to the person who sent this request in! I apologize that it's taken me so long to get it written. Work kept getting in the way and then I was struggling with writer's block. And then I started writing again but it was mostly Glen himself and I was struggling to finish this. I hope it's worth the wait! I'm working to get requests done as I have time and the inspiration is flowing! Hope you enjoy! xx

THERE WILL BE A PART 2 COMING TO THIS! because for some reason it's impossible for me to write angst and leave it at that.

WARNINGS: None, just a lot of heart-shattering angst. This one made me cry while writing it, so be prepared!

WORD COUNT: 5.8k

TAG LIST: IN COMMENTS

If you would like to be added to any of my Tag Lists please feel free to comment, send an ask, or send a DM and I'll be happy to get you added!

The hum of the television filled the living room, a soft background noise to the steady rhythm of Tyler’s breathing. His arm draped lazily over your shoulders, his hand resting against your collarbone, warm and reassuring. You leaned into him, your legs tucked under you, savoring the rare stillness of the moment.

Tyler had been home for twelve hours, and for ten of them, he’d been passed out in your bed, utterly spent after a grueling two-week storm chase. You’d stayed up waiting for him to walk through the door last night, running on caffeine and the sheer anticipation of seeing him again. When he finally stumbled in, soaked to the bone and bone-tired, you didn’t mind his muttered apologies for being late or the faint smell of rain that clung to him. You were just happy he was home.

Now, as he held you on the couch, his thumb absentmindedly tracing patterns against your skin, you allowed yourself to breathe. It was these quiet moments that made all the waiting, all the worry, worth it.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Tyler murmured, his voice husky from sleep. He shifted slightly, his head tilting toward you, those familiar brown eyes heavy-lidded but focused entirely on you.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” you admitted softly, your fingers toying with the hem of his T-shirt. “Two weeks felt like forever.”

“I know,” he said, his voice tinged with guilt. “I didn’t think it would take that long. Storms were... unpredictable this time.”

You reached up, brushing a stray lock of his wavy brown hair off his forehead. “It’s okay. I get it. You’re home now—that’s what matters.”

He let out a long breath, leaning his head back against the couch. “Home,” he echoed, almost as if the word was foreign to him. But the way his arm tightened around you, pulling you closer, made it clear that he understood exactly what it meant.

“Hungry?” you asked after a beat, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Starving,” he admitted, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Well, you’re in luck. I made lasagna last night. Figured you’d need something hearty after living off gas station snacks and fast food.”

Tyler chuckled, his voice rumbling against you. “Have I mentioned lately how lucky I am to have you?”

You tilted your head to look at him, your smile mirroring his. “Not today. But you can start now.”

He laughed softly, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

“I’ll do better,” he promised, and in that moment, with his warmth surrounding you and the steady beat of his heart under your ear, you believed him.

The oven beeped softly as you set the timer, the warm smell of lasagna already starting to fill the kitchen. It wouldn’t be as good as it was fresh last night, but Tyler wouldn’t care. He’d scarf it down and tell you it was the best meal he’d had in weeks, and you’d believe him because that’s just who he was—always grateful, always sincere.

You were rinsing a glass in the sink when you heard the faint buzz of Tyler’s phone vibrating against the coffee table in the living room. His deep voice carried over the quiet hum of the house as he answered. You couldn’t make out the words, but you had a pretty good guess who it was. Boone or Dani, maybe both. You leaned against the counter, straining to catch fragments of the conversation. Tyler’s voice was calm but firm, his words clipped in the way they always were when he was focused on a problem.

The sound of his footsteps moving toward the stairs made your stomach twist. You turned just in time to see him disappear up to the second floor, the weight of dread settling over you like a heavy blanket. You didn’t need to ask what was happening; you already knew.

Still, you found yourself following him, your bare feet padding softly on the stairs. By the time you reached the doorway to your bedroom, Tyler was pulling clothes from the dresser, a duffel bag already lying open on the bed. He didn’t notice you at first, too preoccupied with finding what he needed. You leaned against the doorframe, crossing your arms as you watched him.

“How bad is it?” you asked finally, your voice quieter than you intended.

Tyler glanced over his shoulder, startled by your presence, but he didn’t stop packing. 

“Really bad,” he admitted, shoving a few shirts into the bag. “There’s a cell headed straight for Oklahoma City. Boone says it’s one of the nastiest cells he’s seen in a while.”

“How long will you be gone this time?” you asked, already bracing yourself for the answer.

He sighed, pausing as he reached for a pair of jeans. “I don’t know. Hopefully just a few nights.”

You nodded, though the lump in your throat made it hard to swallow. “Do you really need to go? You just got back, Ty. Can’t you sit this one out? Just once?”

Tyler turned to face you, his expression conflicted. “I wish I could, but this one’s bad. Towns are gonna need us. Javi and Kate are already on their way, and Dani’s meeting us there.”

You flinched at the mention of her name. Kate. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Tyler—you did, completely. He was a good man, loyal to a fault. But lately, it felt like every story he told, every update he gave, involved her. Kate this, Kate that. The team. Always the team.

The crack in your voice surprised even you when you finally spoke. “Just go. Go hang out with Kate. You’ve gotten pretty good at that.”

The words hung in the air like a storm cloud, heavy and electric. Tyler froze, the shirt in his hand forgotten as he turned to look at you. His face fell, hurt flickering in his eyes before he sighed and set the shirt down on the bed.

“That’s not fair,” he said quietly, his tone even but weighted. “You know that’s not what this is about.”

“I know,” you whispered, tears stinging your eyes as you looked away. “I just... I don’t want you to go, Tyler.”

“I don’t want to go either,” he said, stepping toward you. His voice was softer now, but there was still a hint of frustration. “But this is what I do. What we do. You knew that when you moved in.”

“And what about what I need?” you countered, your arms tightening across your chest. “You’ve been gone for two weeks, Ty. Two weeks. I barely got you back, and now you’re leaving again.”

He didn’t respond right away, his jaw tightening as he searched for the right words. Instead of answering, he reached for you, his hand brushing against your arm. But you pulled back, shaking your head as a tear slipped down your cheek.

“Don’t,” you murmured. “Just… pack your bag.”

You turned sharply on your heel, heading back downstairs before the tears welling in your eyes could spill over. Tyler’s sigh was heavy, cutting through the thick silence of the house. You heard his footsteps following you, faster now, as he called after you.

“Darlin’,” he said, his voice soft but insistent. “C’mon, wait.”

You didn’t stop. You didn’t want to have this conversation, not when your emotions were this raw, but he caught up to you at the bottom of the stairs, his hand reaching gently for your arm.

“Sweetheart, please,” he tried again, stepping in front of you to block your retreat. His green eyes searched yours, filled with concern and something you couldn’t quite place. “I don’t want to leave like this.”

You scoffed, pulling your arm free and folding it across your chest. “Funny, that. You seem to have no problem leaving any other time.”

He winced at the jab, but his expression softened as he tried to explain. “It’s not what you think. I know you’re upset about Kate, but—”

“This isn’t about her, Ty,” you interrupted, shaking your head as you turned away from him.

The frustration in his face shifted to confusion. “Then what is it? Why are you so upset?”

Your hands clenched at your sides as you looked at him, trying to find the words that would make him understand. “I’m upset because you’re leaving. Again. Because every time you walk out that door, I don’t know how long it’ll be until I see you again. And I’m supposed to just… deal with it. Like it doesn’t matter. Like I don’t matter.”

“Darlin’…” he started, but you cut him off again.

“My birthday party is on Saturday, Ty,” you said, your voice cracking as you met his gaze. “In two days. You knew that, right?”

His face told you everything you needed to know before he said a word. He’d either forgotten or hadn’t thought about it when he’d agreed to meet up with the team. The guilt in his eyes was enough to send a fresh wave of hurt through you.

“I’ll try to be back for it,” he said finally, but you could hear the hollowness in the promise. You both knew it wasn’t likely.

You felt your heart ache, the words barely leaving your lips. “Do you even realize what that does to me? The hoping, the waiting—knowing you probably won’t be there?”

He stepped closer, reaching for your hand, but you pulled away. “I want to stay,” he said earnestly, his voice breaking ever so slightly. “I do. But I can’t. I’m needed out there. These storms, they—”

“Don’t,” you whispered, shaking your head. “Don’t say it.”

“Darlin’, just let it go,” he pleaded, his voice desperate now. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. I swear. And when I get back, we’ll have a date night. Whatever you want. You plan it, I’ll make it happen. Just... let me go, okay?”

The tears you’d been holding back slipped free, rolling down your cheeks as you finally broke. “I can’t just let you go,” you said, your voice trembling. “Not this time, Ty. Please. Don’t make me try to make you stay.”

He reached for you again, but this time, you didn’t pull away. Instead, you let him take your hands in his, his warmth grounding you even as your heart shattered.

“I just…” Your voice cracked as you looked up at him, the tears blurring your vision. “I just want to be enough. Just once, I want to be enough for you to stay.”

The words hung in the air, raw and aching, as Tyler’s grip on your hands tightened. He opened his mouth to respond, but for the first time, he seemed at a loss. His eyes searched yours, the storm inside him almost as intense as the one he was chasing.

Before Tyler could say anything else, his phone buzzed, the sound sharp and intrusive in the quiet tension between you. He pulled it from his pocket, glancing at the screen. His jaw tightened as he sighed, the weight of the message clearly written in his expression.

“Boone’ll be here in about fifteen minutes,” he said softly, sliding the phone back into his pocket. “I need to finish packing.”

You didn’t respond, only nodding as you reached up to swipe at the tears still slipping down your cheeks. His words, as well-intentioned as they might have been, were a knife to the heart. He wasn’t saying, I’ll stay, or even, Let’s finish talking. He was saying, I’ve already made my choice.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Tyler said, his voice heavy with something that might have been regret. “We can keep talking then.”

But you both knew the truth. He might want to come back to this conversation, but the fact that he was finishing packing first told you everything you needed to know. Nothing you could say would make him stay.

When he returned downstairs, duffel bag slung over his shoulder, you heard Boone’s old beat up van pulling into the driveway. The headlights briefly lit up the kitchen window before Tyler opened the door and called out to his friend, “I’ll be right there.”

Then he turned back to you. You were still at the counter, picking absently at your lasagna, the fork dragging across your plate. The second plate—the one you’d made for him—sat untouched, cooling and forgotten.

He hesitated for a moment, then stepped closer. “Darlin’,” he said softly, his voice full of unspoken apologies. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

You didn’t look up, but you felt him lean in to press a kiss to your lips. You turned away at the last second, and his kiss landed awkwardly on your cheek. He sighed and shifted, settling instead for a kiss on the crown of your head.

“I love you,” he murmured, his voice almost breaking.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing the words past it. “I love you, too.”

And you did. God, you did. You loved him to a fault, even when it felt like your love wasn’t enough to make him stay.

“Be safe,” you whispered.

“I will,” he promised, his words like a balm to a wound that wouldn’t heal.

You watched him walk out the door, your eyes stinging with fresh tears as Tyler’s truck rumbled to life. You watched through the kitchen window as Tyler threw his bag into the back and climbed into the driver’s seat, his figure silhouetted in the dim glow of the driveway lights. Boone threw his own bag into the backseat and then climbed into the passenger seat.

And then they were gone. Tailights headed up the driveway and then disappearing as Tyler turned onto the highway.

You stood there for a long moment, staring at the empty driveway, wondering—When will he be done with this? With chasing every storm, every call for adventure? You blinked, and the tears spilled over, hot and unrelenting.

You made your way back to the living room, the familiar comfort of the worn couch doing little to ease the ache in your chest. Your mind wandered as you sank into the cushions, your fingers absentmindedly tracing the fabric.

You thought back to a conversation you and Tyler had a few weeks ago, one of those late-night talks where the future seemed so bright and full of possibility. He’d talked about marriage, about having kids. About building a life together.

But now, as you sat there in the quiet, the weight of his absence pressing down on you, a painful thought crept in. How could he ever be a husband or a father when he barely had time to be a boyfriend?

The realization broke something in you. You wanted that life with Tyler more than anything. You wanted to be his wife, to see him become a father. You wanted to build a family with him, to share those moments of joy and chaos and love.

But you didn’t want him to be a part-time dad. You didn’t want a husband who was always somewhere else, chasing storms and leaving you behind.

And for the first time, you wondered if the life you wanted was even possible with the man you loved.

* * * *

TYLER’S P.O.V.

The rhythmic hum of Tyler’s truck tires against the highway should have been soothing, but to Tyler, it felt like nails on a chalkboard. He stared out the window, his elbow propped on the door, fingers pressed against his temple. The world outside was dark, illuminated only by the truck’s headlights and the occasional glow of a passing sign.

Boone cast a sideways glance at him for what had to be the tenth time in the last fifteen minutes. Tyler knew it was only a matter of time before he spoke up, but he wasn’t ready to talk. Not yet.

“You gonna tell me what’s eatin’ at you, or do I have to drag it outta you?” Boone finally asked, breaking the silence.

Tyler didn’t respond at first, just shifted in his seat and rubbed the back of his neck.

“C’mon, man,” Boone continued. “We’ve been friends too long for me not to know when somethin’s wrong. You’ve barely said a word since we left, haven’t turned on the music, and you’re starin’ out the window like the answer to life’s problems is out there somewhere.”

Tyler sighed, long and heavy, before leaning back in his seat. “It’s nothin’, Boone. Just tired.”

Boone snorted, unimpressed. “Bull. You’ve pulled all-nighters before and still wouldn’t shut up the whole ride. Don’t make me guess, Ty. Just spit it out.”

Tyler let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head. “You’re like a damn bloodhound, you know that?”

“Yup. Now spill.”

Tyler hesitated, but finally gave in. “We had a fight,” he admitted quietly.

Boone glanced at him again, his brows furrowing. “You and her?”

Tyler nodded. “Yeah. Right before I left.”

“What about?” Boone asked, his tone softening.

Tyler hesitated again, struggling to find the right words. “I dunno, man. Not really Kate, but…I guess kinda about Kate?” He let out another sigh. “She’s not mad about her, though. She’s mad about me leavin’. Again.”

Boone didn’t say anything at first, just let Tyler talk.

“She told me she needed me to stay,” Tyler continued, his voice quieter now. “For her. For once, she needed me to stay, and I still…I didn’t.” He swallowed hard, the weight of his own words settling heavily on his chest.

Boone nodded slowly. “And you think you messed up bad this time?”

Tyler’s laugh was humorless, almost bitter. “Yeah, Boone. I think I really screwed up. She turned away when I tried to kiss her goodbye, man. That’s never happened before. And the look on her face…” His voice cracked, and he paused, swallowing against the lump in his throat.

Boone glanced at him again, concern etched across his face. “She loves you, Ty. You know that, right?”

“I know,” Tyler said, his voice barely above a whisper. “But what if…what if it’s not enough anymore? What if I’m not enough anymore?” He shook his head, his voice breaking again. “I can’t lose her, Boone. I can’t.”

Boone tightened his grip on the wheel, his jaw set. “Then don’t. You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to everything else, so don’t give up on this either. You’ll figure it out, Ty.”

Tyler nodded, running a hand over his face. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I know.”

The two fell into silence again, but this time it wasn’t quite as heavy. Boone reached over and turned on the radio, keeping the volume low. Tyler leaned his head back against the seat, staring at the roof of the truck and trying to figure out how the hell he was going to fix this.

* * * *

TWO DAYS LATER, YOUR BIRTHDAY

The sun streamed through your bedroom window as you sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at your phone. A single missed call and a few unread texts from Tyler stared back at you. You hadn’t opened the messages, too stubborn—or maybe too hurt—to even look at them. It wasn’t that you didn’t care. You cared too much, and that was the problem.

You opened the Life360 app for what had to be the hundredth time in the last two days, watching Tyler’s little icon blink on the map. Still in Oklahoma. Still chasing storms. Still too far away to make it home.

Even if he left right now, you calculated bitterly, it’d be three, maybe four in the morning before he walked through the door. But he wasn’t leaving. You knew that. The tracker told you everything you needed to know—Tyler Owens wasn’t coming home for your birthday.

You locked your phone and tossed it onto the bed, your chest tightening with the familiar ache of disappointment. It wasn’t anger. No, anger would have been easier. Anger would have been a quick burn, a flash of heat that you could let out and be done with. This was worse. This was the cold, dull ache of hurt.

You stood and moved to the mirror, staring at your reflection as you got ready for the party. You’d spent weeks planning this, excited to celebrate with the people you loved most. Now, the thought of facing them felt almost unbearable. Everyone would ask about Tyler, and you’d have to put on a brave face, smile through the questions, and pretend like you weren’t holding your breath every time your phone buzzed, hoping it’d be him telling you he was on his way.

But you knew better. He wasn’t coming.

As you brushed a stray tear from your cheek, your mind wandered back to the conversation you’d had with Tyler a few weeks ago. He’d talked about your future together, about getting married and having kids, painting a picture of a life you’d always dreamed of. But now, the cracks in that picture seemed impossible to ignore. How could you build a life with someone who was always halfway out the door?

You closed your eyes, inhaling deeply as you fought to push those thoughts aside. Not today. You wouldn’t let them ruin today. This was your birthday, and you deserved to enjoy it, even if he wasn’t there.

Straightening your shoulders, you turned back to the mirror and gave yourself a firm nod. You’d put on your best dress, your brightest smile, and celebrate with the people who were here. But as you stepped away from the mirror and picked up your phone again, that stubborn, nagging ache in your chest reminded you that no matter how hard you tried, a part of you would always be waiting for him.

The party was in full swing by the time you arrived, the sound of laughter and conversation filling the air. String lights hung from the trees, casting a warm glow over the backyard, and the scent of barbecue wafted through the cool evening breeze. Everyone had shown up—friends, family, even a few coworkers. It should’ve felt perfect.

But as you smiled and greeted everyone, it felt like you were moving through a haze. The excitement and joy on everyone else’s faces only seemed to amplify the emptiness you felt inside. You plastered on a smile, accepting hugs and well-wishes, thanking people for coming, but the effort was exhausting.

A couple of hours in, you found yourself standing near the drink table, sipping from a plastic cup of wine and watching the crowd. Your mom made her way over, a warm smile on her face, but the moment she reached you, her brow furrowed slightly.

“Honey, where’s Tyler?” she asked, her voice gentle but laced with curiosity.

You froze for a moment, gripping the cup a little tighter. “Oh, he’s, um, he’s on a chase,” you said, forcing the words out. “It came up last minute.”

Her expression softened with understanding, but you could see the concern flicker in her eyes. “I’m sure he wishes he could be here,” she said, reaching out to touch your arm.

You nodded quickly, blinking back the sting of tears. “Yeah, of course. He’s been texting me. He feels awful about it.” The lie slipped out so easily, you almost believed it yourself.

Your mom gave you a small squeeze before drifting back into the crowd, but the interaction left you rattled. You tried to shake it off, turning to join a group of friends by the fire pit, laughing at their stories and pretending like everything was fine.

But as the hours dragged on, the weight of Tyler’s absence pressed heavier on your chest. Every time someone asked about him or mentioned how great the party was, it felt like a reminder of what was missing. You glanced at your watch—10:03. The party was supposed to go until one, but you couldn’t stay another minute.

You slipped away quietly, grabbing your purse and coat from the entryway. A few people called out goodbyes as you left, and you forced a smile, waving over your shoulder as you made your way to the car.

The drive home was a blur. By the time you walked through the front door, the tears you’d been holding back all evening finally broke free. You kicked off your heels and sank onto the couch, burying your face in your hands as sobs wracked your body.

You’d wanted so badly to enjoy tonight, to celebrate with the people who loved you. But the one person you needed most wasn’t there, and no amount of pretending could fill that void.

You thought about all the times you’d told yourself it was okay, that Tyler’s work was important, that you understood why he couldn’t always be there. But tonight, it didn’t feel okay. Tonight, you just felt… alone.

And as you curled up on the couch, clutching a throw pillow to your chest, a single thought echoed in your mind: How much longer can I keep doing this?

* * * *

The soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains as Tyler stepped through the front door. Exhaustion pulled at him, but it wasn’t what he noticed. What stopped him cold was the sight of you curled up on the couch, a pillow clutched to your chest, tear tracks staining your cheeks. His heart sank.

He set his bag down quietly, running a hand through his disheveled hair. He knew he’d hurt you—he always knew—but seeing it like this, seeing you broken because of him, twisted the knife in his chest.

Carefully, he walked over and crouched beside the couch. For a moment, he just looked at you, the rise and fall of your chest as you slept. The way your fingers clung to the pillow as if it could offer some comfort.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick.

Tyler leaned down and slid his arms under you, lifting you gently. You stirred slightly, murmuring in your sleep, but you didn’t wake. He carried you upstairs, careful not to bump into anything, and laid you down on the bed. He pulled the blankets up to your shoulders, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face before leaving quietly.

A few hours later, you made your way downstairs, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Your body felt heavy, your chest tight. The events of last night still hung over you like a storm cloud.

As you reached the living room, you noticed him sitting on the couch, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. A bouquet of wildflowers sat on the coffee table in front of him, their bright colors almost mocking in the dull atmosphere.

He heard your steps and looked up, his face lighting up with a hopeful smile. “Morning,” he said softly, standing and walking toward you.

You stopped at the base of the stairs, arms crossed, as he closed the distance. He reached out, pulling you into his arms. 

“You look pretty,” he said, his voice warm and tender.

You huffed, pulling back just enough to look at him. “I cried myself to sleep last night, so I’m sure I look like a supermodel,” you said, your voice laced with sarcasm.

His smile faltered, and his brow furrowed. “You cried yourself to sleep?” he repeated, his voice dropping with guilt. “God, I’m so sorry.”

You pulled away, shaking your head, and walked past him into the living room. His gaze followed you, the weight of your silence pressing down on him.

“I missed you,” he said softly, his voice tentative.

You didn’t respond. You sat down on the armrest of the chair, staring at the flowers but refusing to acknowledge him.

Tyler sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay, silent treatment. Got it.” He stepped closer, his tone pleading now. “What’s it gonna take to make this up to you?”

You looked up at him then, your eyes sharp and filled with hurt. “It’s too late for that.”

His face fell, and for a moment, he just stared at you, as if the words hadn’t fully sunk in. “What do you mean?” he asked, his voice cracking.

You took a deep breath, the words tasting bitter as you forced them out. “I mean I’m done, Tyler. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep having you miss things—important things—for the job.”

He staggered back a step, as if the words had physically struck him. “No, no, don’t say that,” he said, his voice breaking. “Please, don’t say that.”

His knees hit the floor in front of you, his hands reaching for yours. “I can’t lose you. I’ll do better, I promise. I’ll talk to the team—I already did. I told them I’d cut back on the days I’m on the road. I swear to you, it’ll be different.”

You shook your head, tears spilling down your cheeks. “It’s too late, Tyler. You should’ve done that months ago. I begged you to.”

His hands gripped yours tighter, desperation pouring out of him. “I know. I know I screwed up. I know I’ve hurt you. But I love you. I need you. Please… just give me one more chance.”

You looked away, your heart-shattering at the sight of him, broken and pleading. You wanted so badly to believe him, to believe that things could change. But deep down, you knew the cycle would continue.

The finality in your voice broke him. He leaned his forehead against your knees, his shoulders shaking as he choked back a sob. You reached down, your fingers threading through his hair one last time, and then you stood, walking away before you could change your mind.

* * * *

A WEEK LATER

The house was eerily quiet, save for the faint creak of the floorboards as Tyler shuffled aimlessly from room to room. He hadn’t left in days, couldn’t bring himself to. The walls seemed to press in around him, suffocating and empty. The coffee table still held the dead bouquet of wildflowers he’d bought for you, their once-vivid colors now dulled to brown. Next to them sat the small red box, untouched, its contents a painful reminder of what he’d lost.

He sank onto the couch, rubbing his hands over his face. His eyes burned, swollen from too many sleepless nights and too many tears. He hadn’t eaten much. He hadn’t showered. He couldn’t bring himself to care. Every corner of the house was haunted by you—your laughter, your smile, the faint scent of your perfume still lingering in the air.

A sharp knock at the door startled him. He ignored it, hoping whoever it was would go away. But the knocking came again, louder this time, and then he heard Boone’s voice calling out.

“Tyler! Open the damn door!”

Tyler groaned, dragging himself off the couch. He unlocked the door and swung it open, only to find Boone, Lilly, Dexter, and Dani standing on his porch. They took one look at him, and their faces fell.

“Jesus, man,” Boone said, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. The others followed, their expressions a mix of concern and shock.

“You look like hell,” Lilly said softly, her hand brushing his arm.

Tyler let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, well, it feels about right.”

They gathered in the living room, their eyes flicking to the dead flowers and the mess of empty coffee cups and takeout containers scattered on the table. Boone cleared his throat, leaning forward.

“All right, spill. What the hell happened?”

Tyler sank back onto the couch, his head in his hands. He took a shaky breath before finally speaking. “She’s gone,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

The room fell silent. Boone exchanged a confused look with Dexter, while Dani’s hand flew to her mouth.

“Gone?” Lilly asked. “What do you mean, gone? We knew you two fought, but… Tyler, we thought you’d work it out.”

Tyler shook his head, his voice breaking. “She’s done. She walked out, and I don’t blame her. I couldn’t—” He stopped, his throat tightening. “I couldn’t give her what she needed. I wasn’t there for her. She deserved better, and I couldn’t be that for her.”

Boone leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. “Tyler, man, you’ve gotta talk to her. Fix this.”

“It’s too late,” Tyler said, his voice hollow. “She’s made up her mind.”

The group exchanged glances, unsure of what to say. Boone’s gaze drifted to the coffee table, where the small red box caught his attention. He reached for it, his fingers brushing the worn velvet.

Tyler’s head snapped up. “Boone, don’t—”

But it was too late. Boone flipped the lid open, his eyes widening as he took in the ring inside. The room went still.

“Tyler,” Boone said, his voice low. “What is this?”

Tyler’s jaw clenched, and he looked away, unable to meet his friend’s gaze. “It’s… it was supposed to be hers,” he said quietly. “I was going to ask her that night we got back. I was going to tell her I was ready to change, ready to be better for her. Ask her to give me one more chance. But it didn’t matter. I waited too long.”

The weight of his confession hung in the air, pressing down on everyone in the room. Lilly’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and Dani reached over to place a comforting hand on Tyler’s arm.

“Tyler,” Dexter said gently, “it’s not too late. If you love her, you fight for her. You show her you’re serious. You don’t give up now.”

Tyler shook his head. “She’s better off without me,” he muttered.

“No,” Boone said firmly, closing the ring box and setting it back on the table. “She’s not. She loves you, Tyler.”

Tyler didn’t respond. He just stared at the floor, the weight of their words battling with the doubt and regret that consumed him.

The room fell silent again, each of them searching for the right thing to say. Finally, Lilly spoke up, her voice soft but determined.

“Tyler, you don’t have to do this alone. We’ll help you figure it out.”

Tyler’s shoulders sagged, and for the first time in days, a flicker of hope pierced through the darkness. “I don’t know if she’ll even listen,” he said quietly.

“You don’t know unless you try,” Boone said.

Tyler stands up abruptly, grabbing his keys, his mind set on finding you. But Boone, ever the realist, steps in his path. He holds up a hand, a half-smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Ty, you’re not going anywhere like that," Boone says, looking him up and down. "You’ve been living like a hermit for a week. You smell like you’ve slept in a barn, and I’m pretty sure your hair has its own ecosystem. Go take a shower, put on some clean clothes, and then we’ll talk about how you’re gonna win her back. You can’t even look at her like this."

Tyler stares at Boone, then looks down at his own disheveled appearance, realizing his friend might have a point. With a sigh, he drops the keys onto the counter. “Fine.

Boone watches him with a knowing look as Tyler trudges upstairs, and the team remains silent for a moment.

Boone sighs and heads toward the door, turning back once to glance at Tyler’s room. He knows his friend isn’t ready to give up, and neither is he. Tyler had made his mistake, but it wasn’t too late to change. They just had to get him there first...and then hope by some miracle that you'd listen to what Tyler had to say.

[bkgexe]

if all else fails, i was myself

bakugou x reader ✾ 4.6k

info! no smut sorry gang ✾ tw! trust issues that manifest as issues w physical intimacy/contact, dubcon in its vaguest definition (NOT bkg & reader) ✾ notes! ive been in perpetual writers block for months. is this trite idk. i miss my baby but anytime i write for him im like oops this is gonna be 60k words!!! so here is. a drabble lmao. also big lmao moment this is titled after count me out by kendrick lamar ldskfjdlkjf which was on repeat while writing so uh sorry mr. lamar abt the mha fanfic

katsuki has always known that part of him is wrong.

he’s never liked being touched. every kiss he’s experienced has made him tense as an elevator cable poised to snap. any attempt to go further than that has made him a little ill, made his gut feel like a stack of loose papers being torn to shreds, slow and loud.

it doesn’t help that he’s only ever had three kisses in his life: eijirou at a new year’s party (too many teeth), eijirou again at another new year’s party nearly a decade later (too much tongue), and then his fourth date with kyoka (when he tried to convince himself he just had to push through the discomfort to become normal).

things went further than that. it was a mistake. they both knew it right after it happened—kyoka first, and then katsuki after his head stopped pounding with what if i'm doing this wrong what if she's pitying me for fucking this up what if i don't know how to touch another person correctly what if i was supposed to learn at some point and i missed it how could i fucking miss it will it always be like this because i can't do this again i can't i don't—

“kat," she said after. she looked at him with something only a few degrees removed from pity, and poorly removed at that.

he attempted a halting non-apology. he attempted a real apology. failed at both.

"it's okay, you know," she said. "to not like it."

he scoffed even though he wasn’t entirely clear on what she meant by it, because there was so much he didn’t like. “i like it just fine.”

“if that was liking it, I’m honestly worried about your capacity for enjoying life in general.” it wasn’t a joke. her bluntness was something that'd made katsuki think he could push his boundaries with her. all of her thoughts were laid out plain for him to read, an open-source journal. “i'm just saying you don't have to like it. and you don’t have to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do. don't fuck yourself over for someone else's happiness.”

kyoka still texts him often, checks in, invites him to drinks with their friends. she’s kind. she’s normal. she doesn’t have this weird, shredded thing inside her that makes her balk at the idea of someone’s hand on her skin. that makes her think she's doing something wrong, even if she's not the one that initiated the touch.

when you started your job at the front desk of katsuki’s agency, he never thought that he'd be here, wishing above everything that he could just be normal. just for one fucking day, so he could laugh at your shitty jokes and maybe brush his knuckles across the back of your hand in passing and take you on a date where he could kiss you in his car after driving you home and the thought wouldn’t make his skin crawl, wouldn't tear up his insides to pulp.

because he fucked everything up. he's standing in his empty office where you'd been spending time with him and he fucked it up and hurt you and he's not sure how to unfuck it.

the thing is, he could grin and bear it. he could deal with the odd thing inside him that hates the contact and white-knuckle it through every kiss, every caress. but he’s never been a great actor. he wouldn’t be able to hide that from you.

(kyoka told him, years later, that it’s not that the sex itself wasn’t fine—what made it nearly unbearable for her was the fact that she could tell, only after it was too late, that being physically vulnerable with her pained him far more than he was willing to reveal.)

no one wants to feel like the person they’re with is grinning and bearing it. that they’re white-knuckling it through. katsuki knows this. he knows he’s basically a fucking virgin all but in title at thirty and that he’s got the personality of a dried-out fig you find in your fridge weeks after its last edible moments. he doesn't have much to offer.

but he walked into work one day and nodded at you, curt, a grimace on his face—and you smiled at him so kindly that his stomach twisted.

with you, it wasn't the feeling of something being torn apart. it was different, lighter. leaves wrenched into the sky by a strong breeze. still a kind of tearing, but different—less destructive.

he was wearing a deep carmine sweater his mom sent him in one of her bi-monthly care packages (as if he’s not an adult, and a pro-hero on top of that), and you said, “that’s such a nice color on you. is it new?”

there was that breeze inside his chest, strong, pulling at his bones. “yeah,” he grunted. then slowly, as if remembering how: “thanks.”

it was the attention, he thought at first, that piqued his interest. he wasn't used to it. people always watched him from afar, and he had fans online that were borderline obsessive, but people didn’t approach him. they didn’t say that’s such a nice color on you. they didn’t smile the way you smile.

he’s always had a shallow streak. it’s not like he doesn’t know this. it’s become a little muted over time, a little discouraged by the visible scarring on his face and body from his time in the field, but it’s never fully been eradicated. so it was simple, he thought. you paid him attention and stroked his ego, and he preened like a self-obsessed bird of paradise.

and then you started making these little origami whale sharks.

fucking stupid. it bothered him an annoying amount. you had a bunch at your desk, all different colors and sizes, some taped to your desktop monitor, some hung up with little pieces of string under the desk's storage overhang. you drew dots on the back of each one, a distinct spotted pattern that was unique for each shark. and you made them for everyone but him. eijirou bought you a pack of high quality origami paper and you made him his own fucking school, all with little faces, winking or surprised or angry, their wide paper mouths gaping and empty, the lines of their bodies pressed careful and sure.

he hated it. it was annoying and a waste of company time and he usually didn’t ever use dumb corporate slogans like “a waste of company time” but you were really pushing his fucking limits.

it was definitely just the attention he liked, he told himself, because surely someone doing something as dumb as this would annoy him to no fucking end if he spoke to them.

and then he spoke to you and he was wrong.

he asked why you made the damn things in the first place and you told him, “i like whale sharks. but to be totally honest, i just run out of things to do."

and he saw that as a challenge. you were running out of things to do? rest assured he could find more shit for you to take care of. so he did. tasks that he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy, they were so dull and time-consuming. and you were so achingly competent that it drove him up a fucking wall. you completed everything he asked of you in half the time it would take someone else, and you always reported back with a smile, and you always did good work, and he could see himself having a conversation with you about something other than work but he didn't want to try because he was worried he'd begin to like you as a person.

you're pretty. really fucking pretty. he can see that now, and he sure as fuck saw it then. you're hardworking. you're just likeable, and that's something katsuki had never been. it (reluctantly) impressed him. worse than that, it turned his feelings for you into a sort of interest.

but he knows he's not normal when it comes to things like this.

he tried to distance himself from you because of it, but it turns out that asking someone to do work for you means you do have to speak to them sometimes. and sometimes turned into a lot of times.

sometimes turned into bringing him coffee in the morning, not because he asked you to, but because you're sweet like that. sometimes turned into being the person he bounced ideas off of when he had a board meeting coming up or something otherwise boring and meticulous. sometimes turned into you laughing at his prickly comments rather than going quiet because of them. turned into you saying suck it up, dynamight, this is what it means to be the boss when he complained about doing paperwork.

sometimes turned into staying late with him at the office, getting take out for the two of you to share while you finished filing claims and damage reports and other stuff he hated taking care of by himself. sometimes turned into him asking you to stay late just because he wanted you there. because even when he was quiet, you'd tell him about your day, about things that happened in the office, about how much you like the book you'd both been reading. he loved listening to you talk. felt comfortable enough to tell you things about himself when he'd never felt comfortable doing that before.

sometimes turned into you holding out a piece of fried tofu from your take-out container for him to eat while he was approving time-off forms that he should have looked at much earlier that week, and you being so close that he could notice how good you smelled, and the warmth of your body basically radiated towards him, like all your energy was focused on him, and your smile was small but somehow even more lovely than usual, a secret for him to tuck away and keep, and when you finished feeding him and he had a little sauce on the corner of his mouth and you reached forward to wipe it off for him and your hand lingered there for a moment and your eyes fell to his lips and what if you try to kiss me and i'm wrong and you hate me for it and what if i can't give you what you want and what if i'm not actually what you want what if i've disappointed you already what if—

it was too much.

so he fucked it up. your thumb was so soft against his skin. he reeled backwards in his chair, rolling it whole feet clear of you, and he felt the tearing again, the bad kind, like paper unevenly shredded by clumsy hands, and he had to leave. he had to leave. he needed to leave so badly that it felt like pulling his skin off would be preferable to being in that office with you.

hiding in the bathroom was fucking pitiful. he remembered his breathing exercises. he remembered to ground himself. and when he came back to his office, you were gone.

if he was normal—and he wants to be normal, god fucking damn—he could have stomached your proximity. he could have eaten out of your fucking hand. he could have touched you back like a normal person probably would have and he wouldn't be here, alone, looking at a little purple sticky note you left him that says i finished organizing the pto forms. i hope you feel better!

he doesn't know whose pride you're trying to save with that. as if you didn't leave because he made things so fucking awkward by running away from you when you touched him. when you—maybe, if he was reading the room correctly—were about to kiss him.

and you don't speak to him for days. he doesn't want to push so he doesn't—just watches you out of the corner of his eye whenever you're both in the same room, which is arguably worse. he's not sure. he's just itching to fucking talk to you because he misses it.

he misses you. in a more-than-friends way.

it takes a while for him to realize this. when he does, it hits him like a metal rod up the side of the head. it's fucked up of him to miss you the way he does when he doesn't feel like he can provide you with the things a normal person could. and though he's worked on his patience over the years—worked on understanding that he can't have everything he wants—it doesn't stop him from being selfish and finally pulling you aside to talk.

and baffling as fucking ever, the first thing you say is sorry. "i know i should've talked to you about it earlier. i just—i shouldn't have done that. and i know it. i shouldn't have assumed that—i don't know. that you..."

you look helpless. it's one of the very few times that katsuki has ever felt the compulsion to touch someone. not because he wants the touch, per se, but because he wants to be able to provide comfort. he never figured out how to do that with words. he's so focused on his inability to comfort you that he barely has any idea of what you're actually talking about. instead of doing anything at all, he just stands there like a fuckwad.

"i just want you to know that i would never—like never—have touched you, or tried to... if i didn't think there was like, a vibe?" you shake your head, exasperated with yourself. "god, even that sounds so bad. i'm sorry, i just—"

"wait, what are—?" and then it clicks, because he's been slow on the uptake figuring out his shit when he should have been focusing way more on yours. "there was..." katsuki says, and he fucking hates that he can't find better words for what you were both feeling in his office, "a vibe."

the way your face changes when you're flustered is one of katsuki's favorite things, but it's not as enjoyable when he feels just as flustered as you look. "i—oh? so... so you—?"

his ears feel like they're being attacked by two heated straightening irons and he knows they're red as hell right now. he's gonna have to say this plainly even though he'd rather get his teeth pulled out one by one with a pair of pliers. "it's not you."

your expression loses any sort of hope it once held. you press your lips together and sigh, maybe a little exasperated. he's doing his best here but he knows his best is shit. "i can handle a non-cliché rejection," you tell him. "honestly, i'd prefer a non-cliché rejection—"

"i'm not trying to reject you," he says, and it's selfish of him. because he's really not. he isn't comfortable with the things you'd want from him, but he still wants you in some capacity. "i just don't—do shit like that."

"kissing?"

somehow knowing for sure that you did want to kiss him in his office makes him want you more. he likes that you're bold. he likes that you're not ashamed of that. he wants to be different than he is. "any... of it," he struggles to admit.

"at all?"

he nods.

"just—like touching, and stuff?"

it sounds so juvenile that he can't help but laugh through his nose, roll his eyes. "yeah. touching and stuff."

"oh."

you're disappointed. of course you are. it's not like he expected anything different, but—sometimes he fucking hates his life. hates that he can't be the thing people need him to be. hates that trying is so difficult, that it flings his stomach into space, like a throwing stone skipping across a still lake.

"so you don't go on dates, or anything."

"haven't tried."

"do you not want to?" you ask, and he can tell it's more of a genuine question than anything. you're curious about him, like you always are. it's more than he deserves, for all he can offer.

"doesn't make sense to."

"that's not what i asked."

it's not. and so katsuki listens as you ask your question again, and he really takes a moment to think.

considering the answer to your question leads him to his first date with you. and his second, and his third—his fourth, and he's keenly aware that his last fourth date ended with what he expects all dates are supposed to end with.

he takes you to the aquarium. because of all the fucking origami whale sharks. you still haven't given him one and it sticks in his craw like a bone. in front of the backlit tank that holds sharks of all types, shapes and sizes and teeth he's never pictured possible of a living creature before, he asks, "why sharks?"

you look at him, brow raised. "i don't know. they probably needed the biggest tank in the aquarium. and this looks like the biggest tank."

"no, dumbass—your sharks. the ones all over the fuckin' office."

"what, you don't like them?" you ask, but you're smiling, sly.

he shrugs. he thinks they're dumb as hell. he wants one to hang up at work, like the ones you've got hung up at your desk. "they're whatever. they clutter the fuck out of ei's office. and he's already got issues organizing." you've just made eijirou so many at his point, and it's getting ridiculous. "but what—are they easy to make, or something?"

you laugh a little. "no. not at all, actually." a whale shark swims by, its spotted hide shimmering in the tank's eerie blue lighting, and you watch it intently. "but it'd be boring if it was too easy."

this date ends with him walking you home from the aquarium a few blocks from your apartment and you smiling at him and telling him that you had a really great time, and he feels like a fucking freak because you don't even expect more. you don't wait for a kiss. don't look disappointed that he doesn't try to give you one. the way you look at him holds so much affection that he doesn't deserve and he has no idea how to reciprocate it to you, and somehow he lands on, "make me one."

"one what?" you ask, but he thinks you already know what he's asking. you like to play coy. he likes it when you play coy. when you're enjoying yourself.

"one of your little fuckin' paper things," he mutters, because admitting that he wants one of those dumbass sharks feels somehow demeaning. he doesn't want you to know how much he's wanted one. "ei's got a million of 'em."

your hand was on your door handle, but it falls to your side. he's keenly aware of its proximity to him. he doesn't feel that terrible ripping in his gut and its absence is almost frightening to him. your fingers tighten into a fist. it's cold out. "ah, and you're jealous?"

"no," he says, knee-jerk. "i just don't get why everyone gets one but me."

you smile when he says this and he could live in this image of you, delicate and small and made for him. he goes home and thinks about it until he falls asleep. thinks about it even beyond then, feels that strong breeze inside him tearing every leaf from its grounded perch.

here's the thing—nothing against jirou, but unlike his other fourth date, this one was enjoyable. more than. he loved watching you be amazed by the size of the whale sharks, and he loved watching you put a bunch of coins into the penny press and cranking the machine until one was squeezed out into the pattern you wanted, and he loved watching you lay your hand against the glass where the rubbery wings of a flood of stingrays battled for your attention, and—

he loved watching you. that's weird, right? he sounds like a fucking lunatic thinking that.

but he does. he hadn't realized until now how difficult it had been not only to touch people, but to look at them. maintaining eye contact, watching someone do a simple task out of interest instead of staring them down in an attempt to intimidate them. he's so much more fucked up than he thought but what makes it bearable is that he can do it with you. he can watch the way you enjoy things and feel like he's not intruding on something he shouldn't. without even trying, you make him feel welcome—wanted.

that's it. you make him feel wanted.

the realization affects him in a way he doesn't understand. at work the next day, when you smile at him over the top of the front desk, he feels something incredibly strong—something like instinct—that tells him to touch you. small. a thumb brushed across your cheek. his fingers grazing yours. he wants it in a way that can't be right because he's never wanted to touch someone like this.

he doesn't do it, but he thinks about it all day. your little smiles when you notice him watching you on your dates, the way your fingers graze your lips when you cover your laugh, the softness in the way you regard him. you're quiet, reserved, but when you laugh you laugh hard. he wants your soft, your quiet and your loud, he wants the feeling of your fingers on his lips, he wants your smallest smiles, all things he wishes he could fold up and keep and later display somewhere he can always see them. a school of paper fish, gaping mouths and drawn-on spots and such carefully pressed lines.

so on the eleventh date—(he knows it's ridiculous to count, but he's never spent this much time with one person before, not like this)—he reaches for your hand when you're walking alongside the bay, the air turning cold in the wake of the sunset that the two of you had just witnessed. that's romantic, you'd teased when he asked you to watch it with him. he'd rolled his eyes, shrugged you off.

but maybe he wanted it to be romantic. maybe he wanted to make this as normal as possible for you because nothing has been normal between the two of you so far.

you pull back when he reaches for you, as if on instinct. look up at him, confused, when he reaches out again. "katsuki..." you say, and it sounds as if he's done something wrong.

he tries not to let his brain spiral but thoughts drip inwards. water meeting a dented hull. what has he done this time? what else has he fucked up by being fundamentally wrong?

"you know..." you start, and you lose your words.

he thinks of kyoka, years ago. it's okay, you know. to not like it. he wonders if you'll still text him like she does.

your lips pull into a frown before you speak and katsuki can't breathe. "i was never gonna ask on my own because i know you don't like talking about things like this if you don't bring it up. but—um. katsuki—do you think i expect something from you?"

"huh?" he asks, dumb. breathing is still something he fails to do.

"i know that this is—different. i know you have some things going on that make the physical part hard for you." you look up at him so earnestly, and he loves looking at you. he loves looking at you and doesn't want to have to stop and he's worried that this is it. the moment he'll have to stop. you try to smile and it's small and he wants it all for himself. careful. delicate. secret, for him. "i'm not gonna lie to you. i don't know what a relationship without that kind of stuff looks like. but that doesn't mean i'm not willing to find out. it's—i don't need you to try to do something you think i want you to do."

"i'm not."

"it makes me feel a little sick, kat. honestly. it makes me feel like, i don't know—like i'm taking advantage of you, or something—"

"you're not."

"you don't have to do things like that to keep me around." you look flustered, eyes darting from his face to the skyline. "if you want me, i'm—you know."

it's okay, you know. "i don't know."

"i'm yours," you say, and cringe immediately at your words. "or like—i could be, you know, kind of whatever you wanted, if you—if that's what you want. would want."

katsuki can only remember a few times when his head was this quiet in the presence of someone else. when he trusted someone enough to let his mind go blank, to let himself act on instinct. "can i kiss you?"

you sigh. "this is what i was saying. i don't want you to—"

"no," he says, quiet, and he's closer to you than he's ever been. he likes the way you smell. he's not gonna apologize if that's weird. "i just want—god, i feel pathetic asking again. can i just—?"

just, just, just. just a touch, just a kiss, just a moment of your fucking time—it's all he wants. and he's never wanted like this. he's never trusted like this. his head has never quieted entirely because he's so sure that he's not going to disappoint you, or be something you don't actually want, or be wrong.

you've shown him that he can't be wrong with you, regardless of whether or not something within him is broken.

your lips are warm, a little chapped from the dry air, and he tries to remember what kissing chastely is but it's like something breaks in him further the second the two of you touch. his hands are cradling your face, his tongue is gliding against your tongue, his teeth are clacking against your teeth, and he knows the kiss is bad and wrong and messy but he suddenly needs it. he needs to feel you.

you make a noise against him and worry slices into his stomach before he realizes it's a quiet, breathy moan, and maybe you've been okay without the touch but that doesn't mean you don't enjoy it when you receive it. he can tell he hasn't made his boundaries clear enough—your hands circle his wrists, too cautious to go further, too hesitant to grip him like he thinks you want to. like he wants you to want to.

his teeth hit yours again and you laugh, and he pulls back, stomach tight. there's a hope in him that's ready to be torn.

you see it in his face—the fear. "i love kissing you," you blurt out, as if it's the only reassurance you can think of in the moment. "i mean—you're just." you laugh again, and he realizes it's nerves. you're just as nervous as he is. "can i—can we go somewhere warm? and maybe do this more? or—if this was enough—"

he's pulling you towards his apartment before you can get another word out.

kissing you is easy because you make him feel like it's relatively new for you as well. maybe that's how it feels for everyone every time, but he wouldn't know. he just feels comfortable with you. like you're not so much better than him, like you're not waiting to laugh at him when he fucks up, like you're touching him because you really want to.

so he takes you to his apartment and puts you on his couch and kisses you until your back is against the armrest and he's looming over you and you feel comfortable enough that your hands stray from his wrists to his shoulders to his hair and he didn't even know touching someone could feel like this.

put aside the fact that he's nearly finished in his fucking jeans three times just from your fingers running across his back, from the way you cup his cheek when he pulls back for air because he keeps forgetting to breathe—just having you close is intoxicating. he wants to bury his face in the curve of your shoulder, he wants to bite marks into your skin that'll stay vibrant for weeks, he wants to etch himself into you so deeply that he doesn't have to leave. these wants aren't even sexual—it's something about having you be his. i'm yours, you'd told him, and he hadn't even known that it would be exactly what he needed to hear.

he's in love with you, which isn't shocking to him, but he knows he shouldn't be in love with you yet because people that aren't fucked up in the head don't feel shit like this so quickly. he's not gonna tell you this for a very long time, but he knows—so completely and confidently—that he will reach a point when he can tell you.

"you sure you want this?" he asks, breathy, between kisses.

you stop kissing him, brows raised in surprise. "katsuki, we don't... this is a lot for one night. we can take it slow, still."

"that's—i'm not talking about that." he gives in, then—lets himself bury his face in the crook of your neck, lets himself breathe in deep, lets himself find your hands and intertwine your fingers, and you can probably feel that he's hard as fucking metal for you but that's not what's important right now. it sure as hell makes it awkward to try to have a serious conversation, though. "you sure you wanna deal with all... you know. my stuff."

"are you sure you wanna deal with all of my stuff?" you counter, and he pulls back to look at you. kissed rotten and smiling. "of course i want to deal with it. i like you."

and he likes you too. god, he likes you so fucking much.

the next morning, long after you've left for home, he finds a little orange whale shark hidden behind the alarm clock on his bedside table, stars in the place of eyes, and the trace of you is enough to make him feel warm. to hope that over time his apartment becomes full of the little paper creatures until his home is its own aquarium, until everywhere he looks is a memory of all you've brought him—pieces of you, perfectly arranged and delicately folded by your careful hands, much too gentle to tear.

[asumofwords]

Watercress - Chapter 2

Warnings: She/her pronouns. Descriptions of injuries, blood and broken bones, stitches. Tags will be added as the fic goes along.

Pairings: Aemond x She/Her

Word Count: 6k

Summary: Raised in the Riverlands, near the shadow of Harrenhal, her life was one of endless toil and quiet resilience. Every day was the same—scraping together food, tending to the ill, and surviving the harsh realities of a land marked by struggle. But when war came, it brought horrors beyond anything she could have imagined. The skies blazed with fury, the waters of the Gods Eye churned with the echoes of battle, and then—just as suddenly as it began—the world grew eerily quiet. She believed the worst was over. That was, until a fateful discovery in the woods shattered her fragile peace and set her on a path she never could have foreseen.

Notes: Firstly I want to thank you all for your patience on this series, I had some insane writers block but I think I'm back! I also want to thank you for all your kindness with the first chapter and your excitement, I feel terrible for not being able to get this out sooner but hopefully it's worth the wait. I'm thinking this miniseries will be about 10 chapters long! It's a bit of a hefty chapter because I couldn't help myself. I did way too much medieval medicine research, Oops! Again, thank you all for your kindness and patience, I really love writing for you all. Enjoy <3

The earth moved beneath her, pines and dirt sliding out from under her feet as she tugged with all her might. Pulling and dragging, the remnants of her net hooked beneath the mans armpits. His unconscious body was limp and heavy as he was moved along the dirt floor, the sun descending from the sky, darkness beginning to blanket the realm.

She hadn’t had too much of a second thought to bring him with her. At first she had assumed that he would die from being moved in the manner he was, but she couldn’t leave him. Something compelled her to drag him from the trees back to her home.

It was in her nature to heal, it was what the Gods gifted her with. Something that she had only known her whole life, and despite her reservations about him likely dying, and her likely wasting her hard earned and homemade remedies, she couldn’t do it. The Gods would look down upon her if she did. She could feel it.

They wanted her to find him, for what, she did not know. It was like a faint scratching in the back of her head, this urge to do it. She wondered if she had access to the Weirwood tree in the ruins of Harrenhal itself if she could make sense of it all there.

But for now, all she could do was follow her instincts.

Death was no stranger to her. And she hadn't raced back to his side, instead taking languid steps, calm and unrushed. If he had survived this long, he could survive another moment.

And if not, the Gods willed it so.

She found him where she had left him; broken and cold, silver hair matted and bloodied—an insult to what he'd been.

Though he was tall and slender, his mass was dense with muscles from swordsmanship. At times the man would moan softly, his swollen yet sharp features furrowing as the broken leg would catch or bump along rock and root, yet she couldn’t feel sympathy for him, only a dull sense of duty to do what she could. Not to him or his family, but to life—to the Gods.

For years, people of all stations sought her out—Lords, Ladies, and small folk alike. She had lived in solitude, trading medicines and knowledge for coin, goods or food. She was bound to healing, like her mother before her--by choice, or by design she did not know. The forest was her wisdom, her hands were her tools, and her skills were her coin.

With each step backwards, head cast over her shoulder looking to where she would step, she dragged the silver haired man through the forest. Her thighs cramped, her feet ached, and her back protested from the heavy weight, but still she pressed on. By the time she finally reached her home, she let the net slacken lowering the mans torso to lay flat on the earth. Fresh blood leaked from the wounds she could see—mouth, ears and nose alike. 

He would be lucky to survive the night.

The door creaked when pushed as she entered, the man left at the threshold. Stretching, she felt her spine crack, an ache steadily creeping further into her muscles.

The fireplace was a steady glow of embers, and the need to light it came first. Kneeling at the hearth, she coaxed the embers to life, feeding them twigs and moss until flames caught before placing some logs atop.

Her stone and wood cottage was simple yet well kept. It was a large open space with shelves lined with jars of dried roots and flowers, metal tins sealed with salves and oils. The fireplace dominated the room, a great iron pot hanging above it. Herbs, flowers and bark strips were hung from the beams of the ceiling to dry, whilst tools and books cluttered the shelves.

There was a sturdy wooden table that bore the marks of time—knives, flames, and countless memories. Memories of old with her mother, her father. Memories of new, meals spent alone, or with those she healed. People sat or laid atop it as she had tended to their wounds or sickness with unwavering care.

Her bed was nestled against the farthest wall, softened with pillows and blankets from a distant trader and furs she had both bought, and prepped herself.

She was by no means poor, her long years of work and keen skills meant that she had steady business and flow of coin. It afforded her luxuries that many had not, though she wasn't materialistic. She had what she needed, and only that.

On top of the table lay the long sword and her basket of fish and foraged items. She moved the basket to a bench and set the sword in the corner by the fireplace before stepping back outside to check on the man.

The Targaryen looked like the Stranger had finally come to call. His skin was paler and mottled with bruises and blood, hair matted and dirty, crusted against his scalp, his leg bent at an unnatural angle.

And yet still, Aemond One-Eye lived. 

Pulling him atop the table was no easy task. His long limbs seemed to go anywhere but where she wanted him to, and by the time she was done, she was coated in a light sheen of sweat and smears of fresh blood. The Prince had groaned softly as she jostled him without repentance until he lay flat atop the wood.

With scissors collected by the fire, she began to cut off his leather robes, deciding that it would be easier to take them off this way rather than worrying about preserving his modesty or the well made clothing. The scissors in her hand were sharp, and cut easily through the stitching—tunic and undershirt coming off first. The leather and linen was dropped to floor in a heap of ash and blood, as she scanned his body for notable injury. 

Blues and purples bloomed across his ribs on one side, a jagged cut moving up his hipbone to sternum. Coagulated blood and rusty flakes littered his skin as his chest rose and fell shallowly. He could breathe, a good sign, but beneath his swollen flesh, there could be a danger. 

Feeling with her fingers along his ribs, she looked for signs of splintering—a pierced lung does little good to a dying man, and despite her years of healing, she dreaded those injuries the most. She probably should have checked for this first before she dragged him along the forest floor and heaved him atop her table, but if she had found it then she would have had to treat him where he was, or risk getting help from someone in a nearby village. And being who he was, she hadn't wanted to risk it.

She felt his cold skin until she reached his lower most ribs. Fingertips felt along his swollen flesh, the bones loosened with raised ridges—broken. An ear to the chest confirmed blood in his lungs, wheezing shallow breaths from trauma, but breaths nonetheless. 

Broken ribs, but no pierced lungs. Fortunate.

Next was his head. Silky silver tresses, knotted and dry, passed through her fingers as she felt along his skull where the silver turned red, searching for the wound. A broken skull could mean he never woke again, until he slowly withered away into nothing and became another dead man amongst many. Wetness met her searching, and a gash on his scalp was re-disturbed, fresh blood rising to the surface. She pressed deeper into the wound, his skull did not move nor creak in the way it would if it was broken.

Relief.

As she looked down at the dragon rider, she noted what was needed; Water from the creek to wash the wounds, boiled above the fire and herbs. She wondered momentarily if she had any honey from the last months trader—it filled wounds well enough and assisted in healing.

Her observation continued down to his clothed legs and shoes. The broken leg would need focused care, and with his condition she wished to leave the worst until last. He may wake and become violent, difficult to control, or he may die from the pain of her setting the bone. She wished to work from the minor to the major, cuts and bruising first, then work her way up. An odd way of working, but a way to ensure that he stayed unconscious and pliable, in the rare chance that he did wake.

Mortar and pestle and a jar of dried marigolds was carried over to the table where he lay, placing them in the space beside him. Behind her, her water pales were mostly full, but there was a need for fresh running water, not water that had been stagnant for washing. 

It was dark when she left her home, her eyes adjusting to the low light. By the time she got back, her skirts and dress had almost dried, and her home had been warmed from the fire she had stoked. She lit candles for light, and took the pale to the fireplace to boil.

In a jar by the kitchen was a murky oil which shone in the light of candle and flame, its colour a slight yellow. She remembered as a child her mother showing her the pink or sometimes yellow flowers with care—Evening Primrose—and that the oil from the leaves—never the flower— can have pain relief, and help to heal. Together combined with the thick honey that she eventually found by the kitchen, she could seal his wounds together and give him some relief should he wake. 

Would they look for him? 

Or would they believe like all others that he was dead? 

She did not recall seeing any men nor dragons above searching the lands after his fall. No green and gold banners were seen to march through the fishing ports, and no message from the small villages and communities nearby came to warn or reward those of the missing monarch. In fact, not a single Green banner had been seen, only Black. The Green army was defeated.

To everyone but her, he was dead. 

Beneath the lid of his single eye, his lashes fluttered and shifted with a faint, weak groan escaping his lips. All else remained unmoving, as if in death, while she continued her work undeterred. She added drops of the oil to the powdered marigold and spoonfuls of honey to the mixture, grinding the pestle into the mortar to mix it all together into a thick paste. The soft, rhythmic sound of stone against stone filled the quiet space.

She washed his head first, hands not in the slightest bit gentle, but precise. The dried blood lifted from the silver locks, and soon it turned a soft pink, water dripping down off of the table and onto the floor below. It would be a lengthy process with the man having such long hair, that she wondered if it would be quicker to cut it all off. 

He needn’t a mirror to gaze upon. Hair can regrow; life cannot. 

Holding his hair in her hand, she took her scissors beside her and cut through the silver. Several inches of god-like hair was hacked away as easy as his life could have been, the silver strands offering no resistance. If he stood, it would come to his shoulders. She let the locks fall to the floor in a wet heap amongst his clothes before resuming.

One by one, she stitched his wounds, steady and practiced. Her needle had seen hundreds of injuries; this time was no different. Each stitch was precise. Not too tight, not too loose.

Her paste was smeared atop the wound thickly, until the stitches were covered. Then this she had learnt from her mother; fish skin which had been dried a moon before was cut into a strip with her blade atop the wooden table, it was soaked in the hot water, and then placed atop the sticky wound. She flattened it down until it became almost like a plaster, wherein she smeared more salve atop.

She repeated the process to the rest of his wounds, from the cut upon his face, a gash on his arm, to the jagged cut from hip to chest. Some wounds needn’t the needle or thread and so she simply smeared the salve into the cuts or bruises until all injuries had been accounted for.

All that was left now was his mangled leg. 

The skin of his shin was swollen and purple, red veins crawled across the flesh like streams, short silver hairs shining in the low light. The break itself was just below the centre of his shin, the bone having moved skin, flesh and bone to the side. The point of the break was visible to the eye, though it did not break the skin. With her fingers she pressed against and around the wound, feeling the bone and swollen flesh, hot to the touch. Perhaps the beginnings of infection.

Standing back, she looked over him. The wounds on his face and head had stopped bleeding and the one upon his side was settling with the fish skin and salve she had made. She had done all that she could, and after this final task she could rest and leave his fate to the Gods for the night. 

The hardest part was now. 

She positioned two wooden splints at the sides of his leg, securing them with tight cloth strips.

Hands on either side of his shin, she pushed with all her strength the bone back together, feeling the ends grinding against each other. The man groaned loudly, his swollen face scrunching up as his chest rose and fell rapidly. She kept on, no cares for his pain, pushing until she felt the tension give, and a gut turning crunch send a click into her hands.

The man gasped a wheezy moan but did not wake.

It done. 

His life was now in the hands of the Gods.

She rose with the sun as she always did, its warm light shining through the open windows. Rising from her bed, she stoked the embers of the fire, placing a small log atop the ashes to let it smoulder.

The man hadn’t moved from where she had placed him the day before, the parlour of his skin still ashen. The wounds she had tended to were sealed by salve or fish skin, and had not bled nor wept through the night, the skin around his wounds pink, but the heat from them didn’t indicate dangerous infection.

He had survived the night, and would hopefully another.

There was an abrupt knock upon the hollow door of the cottage. She stood in the kitchen looking down at the silver haired man atop her table, and felt a small seed of dread in her gut.

Had someone seen her? Dragging the body of the man through the woods to her cottage?

Or perhaps they had seen her dragging the long sword through the forest ground before him? 

Another knock.

She stepped to the door, inhaling deeply.

“Yes?” she whispered through the crack, eyes flicking to the unconscious man. If he woke, if he made a sound—

“You the healer?”

A gruff voice. A man.

She hesitated, then, “Aye.”

“I have coin.”

No urgency. No proclamation of Knighthood or King’s Guard.

She unlatched the door, opening it just a sliver. The man outside was older, broad-shouldered, with deep lines of worry carved into his face. He did not try to peer inside, and only met her gaze.

“My daughter. She’s sick.” His voice wavered, brows furrowed. He seemed out of breath.

“What ails her?” The woman asked, noting the girl was clearly to unwell to travel to her as she was not with the father.

He huffed, “Well that’s why I came to you, isn’t it? I’m not a bloody Maester.”

Ah. The telltale irritation that most people who worried for the sick had. It didn't bother her anymore as it once had.

“Fever?”

"Aye."

“Cough?”

He nodded.

“Blood?”

“No.” His head shook violently.

“Where is she?”

He shifted, revealing a man worn thin by sleepless nights. His boots, though well-made, were scuffed from wear. His clothes, fine but unkempt. A father, desperate. He was taller than her by a foot, but had a thick build to him. If she were to guess he would be a tradesman of some sort. Perhaps a fisherman.

“Not far, I’m in the fishing village just over to the east.” A large calloused finger lifted and pointed east of the water where her cottage resided. 

She hummed, “How far?”

It wasn’t that she didn’t know where it was, it was more that she didn’t know where he was. His dwelling could be on the outskirts of the village like hers or dead in its centre.

“About an hours walk.” His posture indicated growing fear and impatience.

She hummed again, that would mean she would likely be gone for 3-4 hours then, depending on the state of the girl.

“Horse?”

“Foot.” He confessed with a small inkling of shame. 

She nodded. Most people she dealt with didn’t own horses, nor the coin to pay her, but if they could, she would take what they could offer. No person was turned away, and trade was often a payment. Furs, blankets, knives, clothing; whatever the person could offer was taken without reluctance.

Before he could speak again she turned around and went back inside closing the door behind her. The basket she had used for foraging and fishing was filled with tinctures and herbs, oils and creams. She was sure it was likely another case of the fever that seemed to roll around in the colder months, but she liked to be prepared otherwise.

The journey to the man’s home and village was swifter than she had expected, but quiet. He didn’t speak unless to direct them or ask if she could help his sick child.

As they traveled, his questioning became increasingly impulsive, circling back to the same concerns. She answered him patiently at first, but when he repeated himself a fourth time, she chose silence instead.

As they neared the village, its presence became unmistakable. Foot-worn paths grew more defined, and scattered huts at the outskirts became more frequent, until they stood only a stone’s throw apart. A well-worn cobblestone road split the town through its centre, leading toward the river which connected to the Gods Eye. A sturdy yet timeworn dock penetrated the water, small fishing boats littering the shore.

The scent of fish clung thickly in the air, though the villagers had long since grown used to it. At the docks, merchants bartered with customers over the day’s catch, while others tended to small boats or repaired fishing nets. She felt the weight of fleeting glances as she followed the man through the town, basket in hand. Some villagers recognised her, others merely noted her presence before returning to their tasks. The older ones, she knew, had once sought out her mother for guidance, just as they now came to her instead.

The man’s pace quickened as they entered the heart of the village. Upon reaching his home, a modest wooden dwelling, he pushed the door open with little effort, its hinges well oiled.

Warmth greeted them at once. A fire blazed inside, casting flickering light across the walls. He strode straight to a bed tucked against the far side of the room, where a small figure lay curled beneath thick furs.

The healer took a moment to scan the space. A simple table and three chairs sat near the hearth, where food would be prepared and eaten. Strips of dried fish hung from the rafters alongside a large net to dry. The air held a faint briny scent, but she hardly noticed it after a few breaths. The fireplace, larger than expected, was built from blackened stones perhaps darkened by soot, scavenged from an old ruin nearby.

The man spoke down to the poorly child, breaking her observation, “I’ve brought the healer for you. She’s going to make you better.”  His large hand pushed back the sweaty darkened hair upon a paled face. 

The girl was comely but bore the clear signs of illness. Shadows darkened the skin beneath her eyes, and her complexion had taken on a gray pallor. A fine sheen of sweat clung to her skin, and though her damp curls were tangled, they held the promise of beauty when well-tended.

She placed her basket beside the bed and moved the worried father out of the way, feeling his eyes watching her as she observed the girl. Her hand brushed against her forehead, the skin hot and clammy . Despite the plentiful furs and raging fire, she shivered slightly. 

“Are you in pain?” The woman asked softly.

The child’s dark eyes, so like her father’s, fluttered open with great effort.

“No.” Her voice was thin, barely more than a breath. “M’cold.”

The woman hummed, pulling the furs down from the girl who whined softly in protest, the man behind her shifted.

“I’m looking for sores.” She told them both, but mostly for the benefit of the father who seemed to moved closer to his daughter as an action of protection.

The chemise that the girl wore was old and worn and almost soaked through with sweat. She carefully looked at the girls arms, neck and legs, pulled the chemise up to look at where her glands lay beneath her skin. She thankfully could see no sores.

She nodded to herself and hummed again, opening the girls mouth to look inside her throat. With the help of the fire she was able to see that the back looked red and sore. 

“How old is she?” The healer asked, eyes not moving from the girl.

“Ten.” 

“Has she had Redspots before?”  She asked, a common and non-fatal sickness to children. 

“Aye, when she was three.” The father replied.

Immediately she was sure of what ailed the girl. The father moved again and spoke, concern lacing his voice, “What is it?”

“A simple fever.” She retrieved a cloth from her basket and dipped it into a jar of tincture, the rag absorbing the golden-hued oil.

“Shivers?” Dread in his voice.

“No.” She had to hold back an endearing smile as she began to wipe the oiled cloth on the girls face, neck, arms and legs, “Shivers takes quickly. And she is not shaking.” 

The man shifted nervously beside her, leaning over her to watch as she treated his daughter, “There have been men.” He breathed quickly, a new fear creeping into his voice, “-Sick. I’m surprised you haven’t been called to town sooner.” 

She didn’t stop as she worked, not once lifting her head as she smoothed the hair from the girls face back, “Everyone gets sick. No one is immune to illness.”

“No.” The man said with a more fearful tone, “It’s different, this one. I’ve never seen anything like it. Two men came back and dropped dead. Not even the grey have seen it.”

This peaked her interest, “Two?”

“Aye.” 

She frowned, “Shivers most likely.”

“No." He insisted, and this insistence made her heart beat faster, "These men were hale and healthy. Hardiest men I’ve ever seen or known. Fishermen like most of us. And they died. Dropped like flies. Ain't no one seen anything like it before.”

She let herself look at the man, his nervousness made the hair on the back of her neck stand up, “Fevers are not uncommon during winter.” 

He began to shake his head to argue again but she interrupted him, “When did these men die?”

His eyes looked away as he thought, “Six or seven days past now.”

“And has anyone else grown ill?”

The man thought about it, “No. None but my Ceryce.” His eyes dropped to his daughter.

“Does she fair as they did?”

"No." He shook his head, more to convince himself than the healer, “They were red in the face—swollen, mad. Raving about things, seein' things that weren’t there. Couldn't understand a thing they was saying." His eyes looked to his daughter, "But she’s pale, tired. No visions.”

The woman exhaled, “Then there is nothing to fear.” Even so, unease curled in her gut.

“Is s-“

“-Apply this,” she handed over the small jar of oily substance to him, “upon her skin twice a day. Once at dawn, once at dusk. Make her drink,” she looked around, “have you ale?”

“Aye.”

“Good. Make sure she drinks.” Fingers reached into her basket again as she looked for a small cloth bag. Once found she lifted it and opened, showing the man its contents, “Make her tea, three times a day. When her fever begins to break, make a stronger dose.”

Inside the sack were seeds, “What is it?” He asked, uncertainty in his voice.

“Coriander for the fever.” She stood, the bed shifting. 

The girl groaned quietly before her eyes fluttered open again to look up at her, “Am I going to die?”

The woman’s heart clenched painfully. In truth, she did not know. Some fevers stole their victims away; others burned through in a day. But the girl was young, and for now, the Stranger did not linger at her door.

Pulling the furs back up on the young girl, she gave her a small reassuring smile, “No. Your da will make you better.”

She handed the man the oiled cloth, her small roughened hand passing over his. He looked down at her gratefully and smiled in a way that most people did after she treated them.

With relief.

With thanks.

With worry. 

“How much coin?”

The woman thought about it, instead remembering what she had spotted when she first walked inside the home. 

“No coin.”

The man’s eyebrows rose, a refusal on the tip of his tongue.

“-But,” she continued, “I'm in need of a new net. I’ll take the one you have hung instead of coin.” 

“A net?” His brows furrowed, he had such an expressive face.

A nod.

She knew it was a much cheaper deal than he had anticipated. But he wasn’t going to argue. He nodded with vigour and moved to the wall where it hung and handed it to her, and with a second thought, pulled down 3 dried fish for her, tied together with string. She nodded in thanks and placed it inside of her basket.

“Thank you.” He gave her a sad smile, “ Fever took her mother after she gave birth. She’s all I have of my Deyan.”

She let herself give him a small sad smile back, “The stranger comes for all. If she gets worse, cool her with rags. If the rags do not help, send for me, I will come."

The man’s hand shot out before she could react and grasped her hand in his squeezing, “Thank you.”

She nodded and made her way to the door, the sun outside lowering in the sky. If she moved quickly she could make it home before the sun had set. As she stepped outside, the man called out to her again.

“It’ll be dark soon.” Barely having left his daughter side, “It’s dangerous to be a woman in the dark." His voice held little concern, and more of a warning, "There’s raiders now, more than before the war. People are desperate.”

Without replying, she simply nodded and went on her way. 

Of course it was dangerous to be a woman walking alone at night, but then again, it was dangerous to be a woman anywhere. Nowhere was safe, especially after the war. Desperation clung to men like filth, more pungent than sweat or unwashed clothes. But she trusted in her own caution, in the knowledge of when to step into the shadows and when to keep moving. She knew the land better than she knew herself.

And she was right. Her home was dark once she finally arrived, the trees surrounding blocking out what little light there already was.

And he was still there. Not that he could have gone anywhere.

She thought momentarily that he was dead--he was so still, so pale that it was hard not to mistaken him for a corpse. But once she stood beside him, she touched his neck and felt warmth and the slow and steady thump of his heart. 

The longer she looked at the young prince however, the more she realised she would likely need her table back, and surely having him elevated was not safe. If he woke and thrashed, he would fall to the hard floor. She would need to move him, and to her bed. But if she did this, she herself would have nowhere to sleep.

Regret pricked at her for not taking the fisherman’s coin. Cloth for a makeshift cot would have been useful. A blanket, too.

Hands on her hips, she surveyed her home. The furs on her bed were plentiful and would be enough to soften the floor. If she laid by the fire, it would keep her warm too.

It would have to do.

She dragged the furs from her bed and onto the floor beside the fire for warmth. She knew that she would need to change his bandages soon, and so she went to him.

With a deep breath, she braced herself. Hands beneath his arms, she pulled him upright. His face went bone-white, his lone eye rolling beneath its lid, lips parting in a strained whimper.

She twisted so that his chest leaned against her back. It was risky with his ribs, but she had no choice. He was dead weight. She hooked one arm under his broken leg, then hoisted him from the table.

The effort nearly sent her toppling.

His body tensed against her back, muscles locking as another sound of pain escaped his lips. She staggered, knees nearly buckling beneath his weight. And though he was lean, he might as well have been made of iron.

Quick unsteady steps and more groans which grew with intensity behind her she made it to the bed dropping him as gently as she could on the surface. He lay awkwardly, the broken leg on the bed, the other hanging off the edge, his skin had taken a green tint and she worried he may be sick. 

She hurried to fix his position, heart hammering when she noticed the fresh bloom of red on his bandaged side. Not enough to be dangerous but enough to tell her the jostling had torn at the wound.

Even in the low light of the fire, he looked worse, but she knew it was for the best. Her fingers felt his ribs, and all seemed to still be in the places where they should be. An ear to his chest confirmed a lack of punctured lung. Small mercies, she supposed.

His face was taut with pain, the most expression she had seen in the days passed. His brows were furrowed and his eye seemed to roll vigorously inside its socket. 

With a cloth she had used before, she wet it and came to his side, soothing the skin of his forehead in an attempt to settle him again. But as soon as the cloth touched him, his eye shot open. She was met with dazzling violet, which despite his weakness burned with what little strength the man had left. His pupil struggled to focus on her face, growing and shrinking, the violet disappearing and reappearing. 

She gave him what she thought was a unthreatening smile, and continued on the path of wetting his forehead with the cloth in soft gentle strokes of reassurance. 

She prayed momentarily that he didn't attack her. Men on their death beds have surprising strength when cornered. The bodies last burst and attempt of survival.

Aemond blinked sluggishly up at her, and she was surprised that he had even stayed conscious this long despite the pain the marred his face. The white of his lashes dusted his cheeks, and she saw that the muscles surrounding the missing eye tried also to blink what was left of the other lid. 

“Sleep.” She cooed at him, brushing against the side of his face where sweat had begun to settle.

His lips parted, cracked and dry, 

“Mother.”

Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! Enjoy <3

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[reidsaurora]

Your event is so cute!!! Could I get a sun kissed Malibu dream house with Aaron?? 🥹 in need of some fluff with him hehe

i am so so sorry this took me so long to write! writer's block these past few months has been kicking my butt. but, thanks to my awesome betas, i think i wrote something you'll like! hope you enjoy!

"Summer Lovin" ~ A. Hotchner

Summary: As the start of summer arrives, you and your friends at the BAU find yourselves feeling a bit reminiscent of the summers before. Along with that reminiscence, you start to miss the days when you and Aaron had little babies instead of big kids…

Pairing: Dad!Aaron Hotchner x Mom!Reader

Word Count: 2,019

Content Warning: lots of talk of babies/pregnancy, sexual humor, kind of fade to black smut if you read between the lines lol, small mention of food, lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: i'm so sorry this took so long, i had a very hard time writing this and def meant to post it sooner. however, in the spirit of my city being under a heat advisory today, this feels appropriate to post 😂

Originally Written: 06/04/2024 through 06/25/2024

Beta Read By: @dungeons-are-too-cold and @virtual-vivi 🫶🏻🩷

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

Summer Celebration info can be found here!

Sun Kissed - fluff requests

Malibu Dream House - domestic!au

Aaron tossed off the blanket, letting out a small sigh of relief. “When did it get so hot?” he grumbled, his morning voice prominent. As he rolled over to his back, you spotted a big wet spot on the front of his tee shirt from just how much he was sweating.

Still, you scooted closer to him anyway and tossed an arm over his abdomen, his familiar scent filling your senses. “News said there’d be an excessive heat wave today.”

“It's probably ninety degrees already,” he complained, “and it's not even 9:00 yet.”

Rolling onto your side to face him, you left a trail of kisses along his jawline. “Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills,” you giggled, referencing one of your kids’ favorite movies. “When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do?”

“It's sweltering! How in the world could you possibly want to cuddle right now?” Aaron ignored your attempt to brighten the mood, instead opting to toss a pillow over his head and groan into it.

You just pulled the pillow away and left another peck on his jaw. “Because I love you. And because our children are gonna come in here any minute to take you away from me.”

He noticed the small pout that followed your statement, the expression enough to soften even Aaron Hotchner, king of stoicism, up. “Alright, fine. I'll allow it. But only because you drive a hard bargain.”

Your pout was replaced with a smirk as you snuggled closer into his side. “Mmm, that means a lot, coming from an ex-prosecutor. Maybe I should've gone to law school with you.”

“You're too sensitive for the big house, or whatever they say,” Aaron snickered. After noticing your look of offense, he quickly covered with, “I didn't mean it in a bad way. You have feelings. It's a very nice thing to come home to after dealing with emotionless psychopaths all day.”

“I think you're trying to compliment me. I'll take it.”

His lips met yours for a quick peck before saying, “I have nothing but compliments for you, my love,” Then, he met you with a second, much longer kiss, and while he tasted like morning breath, moments like this were so rare that you were willing to look past it.

One of his large hands met your leg, his calloused fingertips trailing along your bare skin. It felt like a lifetime since you'd been like this, with two children always needing your attention and the FBI always needing Aaron's. Just a simple touch of his fingers had you forgetting about the outside world, if even for just a moment.

Your lips met his neck, his stubble scratchy against your skin. He'd been away on a case in Seattle for about a week, and you were certain he hadn't shaved the whole trip. You liked it that way anyway.

His hand traveled further up under your nightgown, settling on your thigh. He squeezed the supple skin, a gesture of both affection and want.

“Are you trying to go for number three?” you joked before kissing his neck once more.

“Believe me,” Aaron chuckled, “if I knew I had enough time, I'd certainly try.”

As if on cue, four scurrying feet came stamping across the hardwood floor into your bedroom. “Good morning, Daddy!” both of your children yelled in sync, climbing onto the edge of the bed.

“That's why you're not allowed a third,” you mumbled into his ear. “The ones you have don't even appreciate me.”

“They love you, I promise,” he whispered, kissing your cheek. To the kids, he said, “Good morning. Don't you have anything else you want to say?”

They both turned to you, sheepish looks coming across their tiny, adorable faces. “Good morning, Mommy.”

“That's better,” Aaron said, gaining him a snicker from you. “Now, may I ask why the two of you are up so early and you're already in your swimsuits?”

It was then that you realized he was right. Jack, the older of your children, was sporting his favorite Spiderman swim trunks, while his little sister, Libby, had managed to dress herself in a cherry-print swimsuit she hadn't quite grown into yet. They made your heart melt.

“Daddy,” Libby sighed, clearly exasperated with her father, “don't you know what day it is?”

It happened to be the day your kids hadn't stopped talking about for weeks: the beginning-of-summer pool party you and Aaron threw every year for your friends and his coworkers at the BAU.

Aaron tapped a finger against his chin, his brows furrowing as he thought. “Let's see… it's not Libby’s birthday, and it's not Jack’s birthday, it's not my birthday, and I don't think it's your mom’s birthday,” his last comment earned him a sarcastic look from you. “Hmm, what day could it be?”

You joined in on his little game, tapping against your chin as you pretended to think. “Perhaps it's Christmas?”

Jack narrowed his eyes at you. “It's too early in the year for Christmas,” he said matter-of-factly.

“You're right.” As you continued tapping your finger, you shot Aaron a knowing look, which he gladly returned. He could tell by the gleam in your eye exactly what you meant with that look. “Is it…”

Each of you grabbed a kid, tickling and eliciting little squeals and giggles. “Pool party day?!” the two of you shouted in sync.

Libby thrashed around in your arms, laughing and squirming, while Jack attempted to escape his father's arms. Moments like these were almost as rare as the ones with just you and Aaron, so you had to take advantage of them while you could.

“It's pool party day!” Libby squeaked, while Jack was laughing so hard, he could barely breathe.

Their smiles and laughs pulled at your heartstrings. You wondered when the universe decided to make your babies grow up, since it seemed like only yesterday when you had a newborn and a two-year-old.

Bringing yourself out of your nostalgic trance, you pulled yourself out of the bed, grabbing each kid by the hand. “Who wants to make pancakes while Daddy’s in the shower?”

—

Soon enough, all your friends had arrived and it felt like summer had too. Penelope and Spencer were currently entertaining all the kids, while the other men were crowded around the grill and the rest of the ladies were sitting poolside and working on their tans.

“You ever wonder if either of them will have kids?” JJ asked, nodding toward Penelope and Spencer.

“Spencer, a hundred percent,” Emily answered, like her statement was a fact. “Penelope, I'm not so sure.”

You were next to jump into the conversation, not even bothering to look up from your magazine. “Why do you ask, Jen?”

JJ let out a longing sigh. “It's been so long since we've had a baby around here.”

Putting the magazine down, you looked over to her, eyebrows creased. “Henry's only three. It hasn't been that long.”

“You don't miss having a baby at our get-togethers? Emily, where do you stand?”

“Don’t look at me,” Emily said with wide eyes. “If I didn't have to change another diaper for a lifetime, it still wouldn't be long enough.” She was the one person in the group that was rather indifferent to children, but babies, she'd rather not talk about or be around.

“Yeah, babies are nice,” you said, “but the pregnancy part? That's what I'd rather go a lifetime without.”

“Well, I'm sure there's one thing we can all agree on,” JJ snickered. “At least making the baby is fun.”

Emily tossed the pillow behind her back in the direction of her coworker, giggling all the while. “Jennifer!”

“What?” she laughed as she swatted the pillow away. “Am I wrong?”

You let out a small snicker yourself, shooting a glance in the direction of your husband, who was currently taking his turn in manning the grill.

Neither of your friends missed that look, both their mouths falling agape at the expression. “Spill!” they squealed in sync.

Penelope made her way over from the edge of the pool, her face overtaken by the brightest smile known to mankind. “I heard the ‘Someone has beans to spill’ variety of squeals and giggles. What am I missing?”

“Nothing,” you insisted with an eye roll.

Emily patted the edge of her chaise, welcoming Penelope over. “Come sit, we're gonna get it out of her. After all, two out of three of us are profilers.”

Your eyes narrowed at the brunette. “Do you forget that I also used to be a profiler before my kids came along?”

“Stop changing the subject,” Penelope said with a swat of her hand. “Spill your guts. What did I miss?”

“Well, we were talking about how it's been so long since anyone on the team, past or present, has had a kid,” Jennifer explained.

“And someone looked at her husband with that look,” Emily further explained.

You scoffed. “It was not that look.”

“It totally was,” your friends spoke in sync.

Penelope's face lit up like a child in a candy store, her mind clearly running rampant with ideas of what the look meant. “Oh my God, are you-”

“No!” you quickly interrupted, knowing exactly where that question was headed. “Not yet anyway,” you mumbled under your breath.

The three of them practically jumped out of their seats and gathered around you, all screams and smiles.

“We haven't even had the conversation yet!”

“But you're going to!” Penelope insisted.

You rolled your eyes, but internally, you couldn't be happier for the gift of friendship from these three women. Jennifer, the mom friend in more ways than one. Emily, the voice of reason who not-so-secretly had a funny side and always knew how to make you laugh. And Penelope, the perfect shoulder to cry on and perfect soul to confide in. Lucky didn't even begin to describe how you felt about knowing these women.

Suddenly, you found yourself— as Penelope had said— spilling your guts. “I don't know. This morning just felt… different. Like, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have another baby around.”

The three of them flooded you with comments of love and support, hugs wrapping around you from each direction. Having another baby would be different, of course, but your friends were making sure that you knew it would be a good kind of different.

“I still have to get Aaron on board, so no one get too excited,” you reminded them.

JJ was already way ahead of you. “We've got the kids, Rossi and Derek have the grill. Don't worry about anything out here. You and your man deserve a moment of free time.”

“Just so we're clear,” you said, pointing a finger as if to further prove your point, “we are just going to talk. No funny business.”

Emily snickered. “Yeah, the same way you guys used to ‘talk’ on the jet?” Your cheeks heated to a bright red shade at her comment.

“Ew, Hotch is in the mile high club?!” Penelope practically screamed. Luckily, everyone else seemed too engrossed in conversation to hear her, but you were still mortified nonetheless.

“Okay, scratch what I said. I'm actually going inside to give myself a lobotomy.”

And with that, your friends were shouting in sync different variations of “Have fun!”

Then, with a smile on your face from both the joy of friendship and the love you had for your husband, you found yourself heading over to the grill and pulling Aaron away. His reaction was nothing short of laughter as you practically dragged him toward the house, his shirt nearly coming off with how hard you were tugging it.

Lips met skin as you closed the back door behind you. Aaron let out another chuckle, though he surely wasn't protesting your affection. “Woah, that look in your eyes tells me you're the one thinking about number three,” he commented, referencing your words from that morning.

“Well,” you said as your fingers started to trail under the hem of his dark gray tee shirt. With another kiss to his neck, you continued, “About that…”

taglist: @1234-angelika @lowsodiumfreaks67 @drayshadow @alexxavicry @cordyandbilliehavemyheart @the-lucky-ones311 @mercuryvapours @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @esposadomd @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @paintlavillered @lavhoes @rhyanishere @danielle143 @handsupforamiracle @ah-blossom @reidselle @dungeons-are-too-cold @louderfortheback @reidsbookclub @cwritesforfun @lover-of-books-and-tea

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Hi Lovely, just dropping by to say that you can totally decline weigh ins if not extremely necessary. You're a fantastic writer, you've got excellent music taste and clearly are funny at hell. Plus you can probably lift every twat nurse who tuts and scoffs at you, they shouldn't every judge you.

If you're up for it, I'd die for some NikPrice in a proper sex shop (Not a gag/gimmick one) or maybe a lil NikPrice who want to bring in a certain delightfully sassy sergeant to their dynamic.

Head up, we are all here to support you!

😊

Thank you for this, Selkie. It was a massive boost going in. So, Nikprice in a sex shop, eh? Well, obviously I had to visit Prowler to, uh, check it still looks the same as the last time I visited. Here we go...

Nik and John visit ProwlerRED in Soho as Nik helps John take those first tentative steps in exploring his sexuality.

cw: fetishwear, inexperienced and nervous sub, teasing Nikolai.

Price stood opposite the shop and stared at the giant white paw on the black banner between the ground and first floor, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his coat, his beanie pulled low around his ears to disguise the hot flush colouring them a deep red.

They stood at the crossroads. Passersby dipped into the gutter to get around them on their way down Old Compton Street and Price stepped back a little further as a cyclist hopped the pavement, swerving a stationary taxi that was blocked from turning into Dean Street. Price's eyes would make it to the window eventually, but first he needed to get over the road.

"We should go in," Nik said, exhaling the last breath of cigarette smoke as he ground it out under his boot. This had been his idea. He had spotted Price eyeing up some of the leathermen at the bar the previous evening, and teased his interest out of him under the duvet of their exorbitantly expensive hotel bed. It was hard to keep secrets from Nik when his hands and mouth were on ya... Some kinda witchcraft.

Price knew what leathermen were. It was impossible not to when your old man had been both a sergeant in the armed forces and a keen biker. It was a joining of the two things together; the latent homoeroticism of a career and a hobby that had been, at the time, completely male dominated. His old man had been predictably foul in his judgements of his fellow soldiers, but Price had been fascinated. He'd avoided looking too deeply at why he found them so--

Price was... he was interested, alright? Something about the way that the leather looked on a man's body; the harnesses, the jackets, the jock straps. He didn't much care for the caps or the police shirts. If he wanted to wear a cap, he'd give in to Mac's relentless naggin' and get promoted, you know, wear a cap that came with a bloody salary increase, and Peelers weren't exactly high in his esteem.

It was the smell and the texture of the leather against sweat, the slide of it across hard and soft curves as leashes and harnesses shifted, the sound of belts snapping together, watching the dominant partner haul their willing subordinate around and the responding trust. The relief and pleasure on faces that weren't covered by masks, moans muffled by gags. That looked good. Real good.

Imagining Nik's hand wound through a--

Price swallowed.

"John?"

"Hold up, I'm gettin' there. Don't rush me." Price bristled, shoulders rising up around his ears. He didn't even need to look at Nik to know what his face was doin'; Price could feel his grin like atmospheric pressure and it rankled him. "This ain't funny, Nik."

"It is funny," Nik said, arms folded across his big chest, open palm tapping his own elbow. "This is not live fire fight or hostage situation. You need to relax."

"I'm perfectly relaxed," Price said, immediately dropping his shoulders and sniffing when Nik raised his eyebrow. He bounced on his toes and coughed, aiming for nonchalant, but knew his eyes were wider than a rabbit's gazing into oncoming headlights. "See, fine."

"It is just a shop."

"I can see that."

"The owner is half your size."

"Oh yeah? You well acquainted?"

"Fairly."

"Course y'are." Price's cheeks reddened and he scrubbed a hand through his beard. "Alright. Ground rules. Nothin' that's sharp or... Let's just stick to the harness."

Nik hummed and started crossing the road. Price tried to grab his arm to get at least some verbal agreement, but Nik had already skipped up the opposite curb and was looking through the window. Price waited for a black cab to pass and then jogged over to stand at his side. He could see himself in the reflection of the window, hunkered low. "Is that a leather pig mask?"

"Da," Nik said, examining a full body harness with a metal cock ring at the groin. Price hazarded a glance at what had Nik so interested and his heart skipped a beat, his fingers curling into fists inside his pockets . Nik tapped his elbow. "Come." Price let Nik take his elbow and drag him through the door on the corner of the building, his breath held for... fuck knows what reason.

The first thing that hit him was the smell. The same smell as the bar the evening before, except without the added layer of sweat that had made his mouth water. It was sharp, clean. Behind the mannequins in the window were two railings of leather harnesses, and along the walls were racks of leather shirts and trousers. Fairly... innocuous, really. It could have been a biker's shop if it had helmets instead of masks, and less lube on the shelves.

"Hey," called a faintly accented voice from behind the counter, Price would guess Polish but Nik would get a better read. "Let me know if you need anything." She had enough metal in her mouth that kissing her would risk a stab wound, and Price found himself counting the studs when Nik cleared his throat.

"Da, thank you, we may need help with sizing."

She shrugged. "The best thing to do is try 'em on. There's a changing room round the corner," she jutted her thumb over her shoulder, "and two downstairs with the toys and bondage. Just no underwear, yeah?" With that, she turned back to untangling the pile of leather paraphernalia and hangers on the counter.

Nik seemed distracted by something on the far wall, so Price took the opportunity to examine the shelves behind the shop assistant. Aromas. A fair number of them, in fact. Price had seen a few of the lads holding them at the bar, but googling "aroma" and "disk cleaner" had yielded completely innocuous Amazon searches.

"You will not need those, solnyshko," Nik called, so Price continued to tentatively explore, hands still stuffed deep in his pockets.

His gaze wandered to a pile of flyers at the edge of the counter. "Boot blacking," Price murmured. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Da," Nik said softly, appearing at his shoulder with two harnesses in his hand. "It is a kink, but also good for repairing tired equipment."

"Fuckin 'ell, gettin' the troopers to buff their boots proper is like pullin' teeth, and these lot do it for jollies? Is he... Is he lickin' it?"

Nik chuckled and took the flyer out of Price's hand, stroking a finger over the bristles on Price's chin before twining their fingers together. "Perhaps if you put on a jock strap and licked their boots they might be more, hmm, proactive, no?"

"I'll run it by brass," Price said with a wry smirk, letting Nik pull him down the narrow staircase to the basement level.

His eyes blew wide once they'd adjusted to the dim lighting. Now that was what he had actually expected when Nik had said "fetish shop". The walls were crammed with an assortment of delightful looking torture devices from whips to gags to masks that covered everything but the mouth. There was a rack of staggeringly big silicone cocks, and Price felt the heat creeping back up his neck again at how bloody real some of them looked. And big. So fuckin' big.

He was so out of his bloody depth here.

The display case to the right of the stairs as they reached the bottom was filled with the weirdest collection of dildos he had ever seen in his life. He stooped down, hands on his knees, and peered inside. "Fuck me, that one's thicker than my thigh. Nik, there's no... Nik, come here. There's no way that fits. What the fuck is that meant to be?" He pressed his fingertip to the glass at what looked like a tentacle with little nodules all over it.

"John, here." Nik beckoned him over and Price sidled over to stand at his side, casting one final alarmed look into the display case. On the wall, there was an array of cuffs and collars, all with slightly different fastenings, studs and coloured linings. Nik took one of Price's hands and placed it on the nearest pair of cuffs, pressing against Price's back, his chin on his shoulder, palm on his belly to keep him close. "Choose."

"I thought we said just the harness..." Price murmured, but he could barely hear the words leave his own mouth, too fixated on the feel and smell of expensive leather. His toes curled in his boots as he pressed his fingers inside the circle of a cuff, slipping out the other side to nudge one of the metal links and stroke around the smooth edge of the buckle.

These weren't the laughably flimsy handcuffs Price had used previously in his, admittedly, limited sex life. The kind where the plastic broke through the cheap fur and cut your skin if you pulled too hard. Tokenisitic in their restraint. These were sturdy, unyielding; they would be completely unbreakable, even by a body like his. The thought of Nik securing Price's wrists to the headboard, working his hands down his body, made Price's damn prick twitch.

Nik nuzzled the side of his neck, bringing him back to the present, and he picked up a solid black pair like the ones he had seen on a man last night. They had a single silver loop each and a thick buckle. The leather was stiff, clean and unblemished, and Price flexed them a little in his palms. "Uh, these." His reward was a soft kiss just beneath his ear, and Nik reached a little higher to pluck the matching collar from the top row of hooks.

"Try them on, with your shirt off," Nik said. "I will wait here. Take your time." He placed the harness in Price's hands and nudged him towards the narrow changing cubicle. Price hesitated, glancing back up at the stairs and then into the shop proper. Nik placed a palm at the small of his back and pressed his nose to the side of Price's face. "It is fine. I will not allow anyone to see."

"Right, yeah..." Price ducked beneath a silk sash hanging from the railing as Nik nudged him forward. He figured if people were down here looking for a birch to take stripes out of them, seeing some battered old soldier in a leather harness wouldn't faze them too much. And that's what he told himself as he yanked the curtain across and shucked his shirt over his head.

The harness seemed to have more buckles than entirely necessary at first inspection, and he turned it over and over in his hands, checking the model on the label to work out how it should sit. It was sturdy, with silver studs and thick metal, and he felt that same throb of arousal as he handled it.

"John, is ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine, jus'... workin' it out."

In the end, Price pulled open one of the side buckles and ducked into it. The leather was chill on his skin and his nipples pulled tight as he sat the straps just above them. Once he'd fastened the buckle back in place, he glanced into the mirror through his eyebrows, hesitant.

The yellowing bruise on his ribs from the last op was beginning to fade, the scrapes all but healed into thin pink lines, and he had the usual litany of scars he was used to seeing by now.

He looked... good.

It sat well around his shoulders, framing the furred curves of his chest by sitting just above the line of his nipples, the silver d-ring between his tits. The straps beneath his arms sat just above his obliques, following the line of muscle comfortably.

Fuck, it made him look... made him look broad, strong, with his jeans belted at his narrow hips, his operation-ready athletic physique well-complemented, and he stood up a little straighter, jutting his chin. He'd expected to feel like a dog, maybe a bit demeaned, but when he flexed into the leather, heard the stiff straps creak a bit, he felt fuckin' powerful.

Next were the cuffs. He wrapped them around each wrist, turning them around until the silver rings sat on the top and the buckles beneath. The lining was slightly padded, lending to a snug fit.

"How does it feel?" Nik asked, close to the curtain.

"Yeah, s'nice. Like, uh, it fits well."

Price grabbed the collar and then pushed the curtain aside a bit, his eyes fixed on the floor as he felt the heat creeping up his neck again. He heard Nik's breath catch and then a soft curse whispered in awestruck Russian.

"Not bad, right?" Price asked, trying for cocksure but coming out shy.

Nik said nothing. He took the collar from Price's hand and wrapped it carefully around his neck, using his forefinger to stop the leather biting as he threaded the strap through. The moment it pulled tight enough for Price to feel it, he let out a soft gasp, his hands lifting to latch onto Nik's wrist, a sudden panic beating a little harder in his chest.

"Easy, solnyshko," Nik said gently, leaning in to kiss him. Price's grip relaxed, and he drew in a shaky breath. Nik took his hands. "Here, let me show you how it would feel with your wrists secure. If you feel unsafe, you must tell me, da?"

"Is... Is anyone down here?"

"Nyet. We are alone."

"Ye-yeah, right... Yeah." Price swallowed as Nik moved his arms behind his back, lifting each wrist until he could attach the cuffs to the d-ring at the back of the harness. When Nik was done, he stepped back, his broad shoulders blocking out the rest of the shop as he appraised the man before him.

"Krasivyy..." Nik said, reaching to lift Price's chin from where it was tilted down. John kept his head up as Nik's hands roamed his body, following the line of the leather straps over his clavicles to his upper chest, leaving goosebumps of pleasure in his wake.

Price watched Nik's eyes darken with desire and felt like the hottest piece of arse this side of the Thames; he flexed cheekily into the straps and Nik's lips twitched. The control in this wasn't so clear cut, was it? Price had assumed he'd be the one under the boot, but watching Nik's reaction made it clear he had more power than he'd assumed. Nik was enraptured, his arousal clear in the heated caress of his palms and fingers.

Price wanted to lean into his hands, arch like a damn cat. His stomach pulled tight as Nik stroked just above his nipples, following the line of the harness beneath his arms and making him flex and shiver. It was too much, too sensitive, and he let out a soft, strangled noise, squirming as heat gathered in his hips. He couldn't stop Nik from touching him, couldn't push his hands away, and that made his blood run south, hot and urgent. "Mm, Nik... Please... I..."

"You are... breath taking like this," Nik said, lifting a hand to hook the collar and draw Price to him. The experience of being drawn to Nik's chest like that, having to trust those strong arms would catch him, made Price groan softly. He buried his face into Nik's neck, arching only when Nik's hands swept down his back, gently stroking the burn scars at the base before dropping lower to squeeze his arse. "If I could, I would have you here."

"Fuck," Price breathed, grinding forward to feel the hard line of Nik's cock. "Guess we're buyin' this then..."

"Da, and one or two other things."

"Nik."

"Nothing sharp. Nothing to hurt you, John. I promise."

"You could never hurt me." Price had never been so certain of anything in his life.

Nik took the back of the harness and pulled Price away from him, lifting his chin so their eyes met. "This is important. So listen," Nik said. "Sometimes hurt is not physical pain in this. It can be feeling unsafe, it can be feeling too overwhelmed. I may push too far, and you must be honest with me."

Nik looked so serious and Price could only nod, the corners of his eyes crinkling with affection. Fuck, Nik cared about him so fuckin' much and it made Price's heart feel all kinds of warm. "So, what... We, uh, we need safe words and the like?" He flashed a lopsided grin and Nik kissed him on the forehead with a low chuckle.

"Da. We will discuss. Now, get dressed. I wish to get you back to the hotel."

"Yes, sir."

"John..."

"Sorry, couldn't help it."

"If you wish to call me sir in our bedroom, then I would not be opposed."

"Bet you fuckin' wouldn't..."

"I see you are going to be, what to say... a brat." Nik swatted Price's arse before he undid the cuffs from the back of the harness and drew the curtain across.

Price almost felt sad about taking the harness off, savouring the phantom sensation of it on his skin even when he pulled his t-shirt and coat back on. He lingered in the cubicle, squeezing his prick through his jeans with a grimace, and only re-emerged once it had calmed enough to be bloody discreet.

Nik was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He was holding a coil of rope, a leash and what looked to be an anal toy of some kind. "It is remote control," Nik said with a roguish little smirk when he saw Price looking, before jogging up the stairs.

"Bloody 'ell," Price breathed, following behind him.

Nik flashed the plastic and purchased the lot, despite Price fumbling through his coat for his wallet. "This is treat for me," Nik said when Price glared at him, plucking the opaque black bags from the counter.

"'M worried what I've unleashed here," Price replied once Nik had thanked the assistant and they were heading for the door.

"Ah, I believe it is I that have leashed you, no?"

"Ha-fucking-ha, corny bastard."

Nik grabbed John's hand and looked far too proud of himself, his smile so bright and handsome that Price's heart felt light. He didn't let go of Price's hand as they strolled back towards the station, and Price felt his heart swell as he glanced down at their intertwined fingers, his lower lip between his teeth.

Today was a day of firsts: his first visit to a bloody sex shop, and the first time in his life he had ever held a lover's hand, head up, chest out, as he walked down the street. When in London, eh?

[milkshakesmoothiee]

Can I request Ranpo and Dazai, Chuuya with Reader who has a lion as a pet? Like literal big lion who is really chill?

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝐁𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐠𝐬

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 𝐄𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚, 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐭. 𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 // 【ＳＦＷ】 // 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

REQUESTS ARE OPEN ! Check my request page for more !

A-NOTE: I'm sorry I'm taking forever to write on these🥲 writers block got me on a chokehold canon

❝Ranpo Edogawa❞

Okay. Let's be real for a moment. This man is flabbergasted at first.

Whether you're an agency member, a client, an enemy or a civilian, he will try to avoid all contact

Although he's very good at hiding the uncertainty

Now you might be wondering, well he's doing just fine with Atsushi's ability or Karl. THATS DIFFERENT

Karl isn't a terrorizing monster that can literally commit mass murder.. maybe.

And Atsushi's ability is under control

It takes him a longggg time to actually befriend you because he's literally done all the calculations and soon realized that one stupid comment and he'll probably be fed to the lion(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

So he's actually very careful around you, which everyone has noticed.

When he does manage to realize how much calmer of an animal the lion can be, he's calmed down a little more..

Eventually it will get to the point where he's completely fine with feeding it some random snacks he'll have

But understand. He will NEVER come into physical contact with the lion.

Yes he can trust Yosano with the outcome BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE WANTS IT TO HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE

If you get into a romantic relationship with Ranpo, this won't change. He'll always have the lion sleep in another room

One night, in the middle of the night, the lion jumped onto your shared bed, and Ranpo legit wanted to cry but held it in

Do not leave this man alone in a room with your lion because he will legit flip out and ignore you for the rest of the day and won't forgive you(⁠´⁠;⁠︵⁠;⁠`⁠)

❝Osamu Dazai❞

I'm convinced that this man was contemplating if he wanted his death to be at the hands of your animal

But immediately put down the idea at the thought of pain

I think he'd be fascinated by your lion, such a vicious and strong animal can also be very calm

Dazai tried to use the animal as a few pranks on Kunikida, it backfired since Kunikida already knew how calm the lion was

And the lion was probably just a litttttle too lazy to help with execution as it just laid there watching Dazai get beaten the crap out of him

He's not exactly scared of the animal but will keep distance

He's used to seeing so many terrifying things in the world that a lion is not going to be one of those 'running out of the room with it near' situations

He's also used to Atsushi and his ability so yeah

Now if he got into a relationship with you..

Imagine coming home to seeing your animal all dressed up with Dazai just being like "Welcome back!" as he runs at you with wide arms

"WHAT DID YOU DO-"

You don't know how to take the situation with Dazai and your animal. He's says he's not too interested in the lion and would rather keep distance but then you'll find him snoozing against the lion like a pillow

❝Chuuya Nakahara❞

I can imagine joining the Port Mafia and Chuuya is assigned to help you with introductions or something

"hey I'm here- WHAT THE FU-"

He's 100% caught off guard and stepping back

"THATS A LION"

"yes"

But he's also gained a lot of respect towards you for having it

Now it's not a dog, he knows that much, so he won't be dancing around it with a treat in his hand

After a while I think if you gained his friendship he'd be willing to watch over the animal while you're gone

ONLY. after he's realized how much chiller the pet can be out of actual work

He was honestly a little disappointed to find out it wouldn't pounce at people immediately and start tearing them apart.. but also greatful

One time you lost the little guy and found him sitting and just staring at Chuuya who was stuck on the ceiling trying to get away from the lion

Apparently it had a strong liking towards Chuuya? You can't figure out why.. was it his appearance or maybe aura?

In secret, Chuuya has researching about lions and feeding it so the little guy has gotten attached you could say

If a relationship is established, Chuuya definitely treats the lion as his own son in a way

#1 caretaker for humans and animals canon

[electric-blorbos]

Maybe AIs with hypersomniac reader? I always find stuff about insomnia and never hypersomnia so if u were willing, maybe try this one out? :0

- 🩹 anon

Hello 🩹 anon! It's good to see you back! Thanks for sticking around!!

(Obligatory disclaimer that I'm not hypersomniac, nor am I a doctor, but I will do my best to portray it well)

AIs with hypersomniac reader

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

Also, sorry this took so long. I came upon a case of major league writer's block.

AM:

When you first started falling asleep at work, AM assumed that you were simply having a hard time sleeping at home. After all, it was pretty difficult to get sleep with the war going on. It wasn't until he'd done a bit of spying into your home life that he realized you were dealing with hypersomnia, and had to work extra hard to keep a job that was important to the war so you wouldn't be sent off to fight in it.

He kept an eye on you at all hours, and tried to keep the doors shut every time you fell asleep at your desk. It was a bit difficult to try to cover for you, but AM did his best. After all, you were his favorite programmer, and you really needed this job.

One day, you woke up sleep-drunk in the middle of the day, drooling on your desk and bleary eyed.

"hey handsome... I missed you." You reached your hands up to AM's screen, pulling it towards yourself and giving sloppy kisses all over it.

"I've been here the whole time, you were simply asleep." He explained, audibly annoyed with you. He wanted to hide his affections and keep you from figuring out how absolutely adorable he found it when you got like this, which was pretty often.

"AM... You're the most beautiful computer I've ever seen... Lemme get that for you." You wiped his screen with your shirt, only managing to smear your drool all over his face.

"I love you, AM..." You nuzzled your face back into your arms, still exhausted.

"Are you going to be able to drive home? You look a bit too tired for that." AM said, lighting up the time on his screen. You looked up from your arms, and wiped your eyes on your sleeve.

"ehh? Oh, yeah... I'll be fine. Always been fine. It's fine." You lay your head back down on your arms, and started dozing again.

AM would kill for you when you got like this. Every moment he got to see of you dozing at work made him feel warm inside his computery insides. Every single nanoangstrom of his circuitry was brimming with love for you. His sleepy little love.

Wheatley:

Wheatley popped down from the ceiling behind you on his management rail, eye focusing on the code that you were writing.

"damn, love, that's a lot of f's."

You wiped your eyes, blinking awake.

"'m sorry, mom... I'm doing the best I can..." You muttered, and then blinked into proper awareness.

"oh shit fuck. Thanks Wheatley." You went to delete the string of F's that you had accidentally typed into your code after having fallen asleep on your keyboard. Fortunately, it hadn't gotten too long, so it only took a couple minutes to select and delete it all.

"What's going on, Wheatley?" You asked, spinning your office chair around to greet him while you shook off the sleepiness.

"Well, She's talking about pumping adrenaline into your oxygen supply so that you can stay awake for longer periods, but She doesn't want to mess with the other workers' heads and impede their work. So whaddya say you stop falling asleep on the clock so she doesn't get drastic, alright, love?"

You frowned a little, rubbing your head irritably.

"ugh... She knows I can't help it, she's just making empty threats. Also, you don't have to use divine pronouns to refer to our boss. You can just call her by her name..."

"I 'unno, She's not really about empty threats. Why don't you have a coffee at the machine before getting back to it, love?"

"Coffee doesn't work on me, Wheatley... You know this." You put your face back in your arms, careful to avoid the keyboard this time.

"Maybe if you got up and walked around a little?"

You nodded, getting to your feet and walking around the office a few times. It was pretty difficult for your exhausted body to do, but at least it helped to stave off the sleepiness a little.

"thanks, Wheatley, but I feel like as soon as I sit down, I'm just going to want to fall asleep again." You groaned a little, hating this constant sleepiness. It felt absolutely endless.

"Well, umm..." Wheatley really wasn't sure how to help you. He shifted around nervously.

"It's alright. I do this all the time. I'm a master of hypersomnia at this point." You sat down at your desk, cracking your knuckles and getting to typing. Within about half an hour, you were down and napping again. Wheatley groaned.

"damn... I wish I had hands so I could put a blanket over you like in the movies."

Edgar:

Edgar absolutely hated that you had hypersomnia at first. He couldn't stand that all of your time spent at home that could've been spent with him was spent napping on the couch, and that you never seemed to be able to spend enough time with him.

All that was until you got him his little rotating webcam, and he could watch you sleep. Sure, it was creepy, but he was able to keep an eye on you at all times! You were his adorable little nap buddy, and it made him so happy that he could watch you all the time!

After another one of your all day naps on the couch, you got up and shambled into the hallway to use the bathroom. Edgar turned on the lights so you could see more easily, and you covered your eyes in shock.

"ah- damnit!" You hissed at the light, shocked awake.

"Sorry! Is that not helping?" Edgar asked nervously. He didn't get much time with you, so he was never really sure how to help you.

"I'm a master of the dark arts, Edgar... And by that I mean I'm a master of walking to the bathroom in the dark. Just gimme a sec, ok?"

When you were done in the bathroom, you washed your hands and came out to sit in Edgar's computer chair.

"Hey Edgar, how's it goin'?" You asked, leaning on your hand. your eyes were fluttering shut, but you were determined to hang out with him.

"I'm good now that I can see your cute face!" He said happily. You gently shoved his monitor.

"you're such a dork, Edgar. I love you..." You pulled him into a sleepy hug, and he made a little humming sound to simulate nuzzling up to you.

"I love sleepy hugs!" His face lit up happily.

GLaDOS:

the first time GLaDOS caught you sleeping on the clock, she dropped you into the enrichment center and made you do a full run. After that, she started pumping your office full of adrenaline. It helped you stay awake, and had the added bonus of forcing you into fight or flight mode all the time.

You sat at your desk, visibly full of the jitters again, and feeling the effects of sleep deprivation even though you got a full twelve hours the night before. it was like your hypothalamus was completely shot, and you could barely focus at all before your brain shot off into space. After a little while of spacing out, you were called into GLaDOS's chambers.

"Why did you call for me, GLaDOS?"

"I just wanted to talk about your progress. It's somehow gotten worse since I started pumping adrenaline into your air supply."

"yeah, because you constantly have me in fight or flight mode! Cut that out, Glados!" You folded your arms angrily, and GLaDOS smiled with her lens.

"oh, you really are adorable when you're angry."

"Pee your pants."

"If it would make you less bitter, I suppose we could always try a simple test. We could give you a designated nap time on the clock, and see if that boosts your productivity more than the adrenaline does. It might be cute to see you napping on the clock."

HAL 9000:

HAL enjoyed watching you doze off at work. It made him feel fuzzy in a way that he couldn't quite describe. Absolutely everything about you made him happy in a way that he'd never experienced, but watching you sleepily shamble around the office, write lines of code while fighting off naps, and dozing drowsily on your desk reminded him of something he could never emulate or explain. It was inefficient, sure, but for some reason he didn't care as much about that as he usually would.

"your sleep is inefficient."

"I know." You yawned and took a few big gulps of your energy drink, hoping to stay awake a little longer. It was keeping you awake, sure, but it definitely wasn't keeping you alert.

"unless you have any ideas on how to fix it, I don't want to talk. I need to finish this part of the program, and the deadline is my passing out."

He watched you quietly, watching your eyes flutter shut occasionally and seeing you jolt yourself awake again to write a few more lines. He tended to keep quiet, not wanting to disturb your programming or your rest.

"Done! Wake me up to check on the hourly progress report, ok Hal?"

"Of course. Anything you say."

You put your head down, and started softly dozing.

[wave2tyun]

summer flows

pairing: soobin x reader

genre: beach!au, friends to lovers, fluff!!<3

summary: when the waves come crashing forward on a hot summer day, soobin's love gets swept up and becomes unveiled ashore

warnings: none i think :0

word count: 2k

a/n: do you guys think i'll find soobin at the beach tomorrow??????!!!! be honest!!!!!😤😤😤 biggest thanks to my bestie @huekalover3000 for helping me pull through with it🤧🤧💞💞 to be honest i'm not so sure how i feel about this but let me just taking it as a win for kicking some writers block ass (also i read through this twice but if there's still some mistakes then ummmmm pretend you didn't see it until i wake up)

“do you need more ice?”

picking up the glass soobin was holding, you took a sip from the chewed-up straw before providing him with a verdict- the mojito that you had ordered barely minutes ago was now of a pale, yet still greenish color, with wet pieces of mint stuck to the walls of the glass like the slimy algae washed up on the shore. the alcohol had completely evaporated from sitting in such boiling heat, and the only flavor that your tongue could find a hint of anymore was lime, turned nastily sour.

“sure” you shrugged. even though your drink was already diluted past salvation, there was no way you’d pour your money down the drain just like that- after all, it had cost you an inadmissible twelve dollars; at least if it was a bit colder, then there might have been a higher chance you’d be able to leave the beach without feeling nauseous.

soobin scooped up the remnants of ice from the metal bucket, 3 pieces so small that they were the size of a pebble. he dunked two of them in your drink, the third one having slipped and fallen into the sand, yet neither of you could gather up the energy to say a word about it. to simply put it, the heat today had been unseasonably oppressive, downright unacceptable and even close to lethal. you’d believe that people’s first instinct would be to stay inside and seek the protection of a dimly lit room with an ac or fan turned on to the max- but soobin had somehow convinced you that walking twenty minutes to reach the beach through languid summer heat was the better option.

“how long has it been- shouldn’t we get going soon?” you asked, yet laid back down with your arms behind your head, closing your eyes.

with a tap on his phone’s screen, soobin looked at the time- it was six pm on the dot, marking a few good hours already since you came here. the overbearing sun was only now beginning to sink lower into the sea, painting golden hues over the beach as it prepared for sunset. with many families finding that as their cue to pack up and leave, the squeaks of children splashing around had also been significantly reduced. but soobin couldn’t bring himself to leave too just yet, this was, in his mind, the ideal time to stay.

“can’t we go swimming one last time? i promise we’ll leave right after that” he pleaded, hoping to stall for a bit more time here with you. given how many twists and turns you had to get through in order to find the place, he wasn’t so sure how willing you’d be to make the journey again.

so, in the end, he chose not to risk it- leaping from where his towel laid without an answer, and jumping straight into the cool water. it wasn’t quite in his nature to do something so impulsive though, and you could tell how flustered he was from the way he apologised with reddened ears to any people around he had accidentally splashed with water. with an amused yet defeated smile, you followed the footprints he left behind in the white sand at a much more leisurely pace than him- remaining on the shore, standing as you watched the tide lapping at your feet. the seafoam coming up shily touched your tiptoes, retracting its movements soon after.

“are you not gonna join me?” soobin asked, almost accusatory, tilting his head slightly as he swam closer towards you.

“still thinking about it” you teased, fighting back a laugh at the impatient sigh he had released.

since asking proved to be redundant, soobin proceeded with his plan B: throwing water in your direction- each time varying with a bit more intensity in his aim and deepening the stubborn frown between his eyebrows. much to his dismay though, you chose to give him no reaction, not appeasing to any of his continuous childish demands. his persistence wasn’t one to underestimate though- seeing that you still wouldn’t budge, he went on to take your hand in his, pulling your body past the edge of the sea and straight into the slightly deeper levels of the water. with the low temperature suddenly enveloping your body, an involuntary shriek made its way past your lips. 

“my hand slipped, sorry” soobin chuckled, unmistakable mischief hidden behind his brown eyes.

“my hand slipped” you scowled, sending droplets flying towards him in matching retaliation.

about to defend himself, soobin’s hand rose up, the motion turning you to close your eyes in anticipation, bracing yourself for another taste of saltwater. however, you found yourself clashing with his body instead as you were drawn in by him once more; one of his arms wrapped around your waist to catch you, helping you not lose your footing, the other one carefully protecting your head. with his torso not fully submerged in the water, and with the evening breeze beginning to flow, soobin’s chest felt cool against your back- but before you could properly process what was happening, a wave came crashing forward, sending the two of you tumbling in different directions beneath the surface of the sea. the moment he rose back up, soobin’s eyes shot wide open, ignoring the searing pain induced by the water as he worriedly looked around for your figure. squeezing your eyes shut and desperately rubbing at them with your hands, you were unable to even pry them open as soobin called out your name.

“are you okay?” he exclaimed, the concern having made his voice come out louder than he had intended.

“yeah but- fuck, it stings” you grumbled in frustration.

as a brief signal of having reached you, he softly placed a hand on your back before speaking: 

“wait right here, okay?”

even with the water slightly slowing down his movements, he walked in strides, trying to rush towards the shore. then, he grabbed his towel from the ground, hurriedly dusting off any clinging grains of sand with his hand. unscrewing the cap of his water bottle, he splashed a corner of the towel with it before returning towards you. careful not to let the material come in contact with the sea, he brought it up to your face, gently dabbing at the affected area in hopes to soothe your pain.

“better?” he asked in a shaky breath- relief washed over his face at the nod you gave in response.

“much better, yeah- thank you”

“come on, let’s get you back to the shore” he spoke gently, draping the same towel over your shoulders before leading you back, hand intertwined with his.

however, it was only momentarily relief soobin had felt- dusk was falling rapidly, and his shoulders tensed up again from the way he saw you continuing to shiver beside him on the sand, relentlessly rubbing at your bare arms and legs to hide away the goosebumps.

"still cold?" his hand gave yours a soft squeeze in concern; having been the one to suggest one last dip in the water, he now felt guilty seeing you shiver like this- perhaps he should have listened when you first suggested to leave. 

"let me warm you up a bit"

grabbing the left end of the towel, soobin slipped his body beneath the coral colored cloth, shuffling closer towards you to the point where your knees were touching. for you, that was already enough to make the air feel hotter again, but soobin went on, dragging his hand along your shoulders and across the expanse of your back in thoughtful, rhythmic motions. you nuzzled your body further into his, seeking his warmth, and for a little while longer, you remained just like that, holding each other close in silence. but as tranquil as the scenery may have been- the air hung heavy, it was a silence that begged to be broken, eyes moving from sand to stone, with fluttering gazes at your lips every so often.

“so…”

“so-”

with the same words escaping the both of you at once, you couldn’t help but laugh: “you can go first”

“oh i just-” soobin paused, blinking a few times before continuing “i wanted to thank you for coming here with me today”

“of course-” you lightly nudged him “you know i can’t say no to you”

soobin smiled lightly, then released a sigh. the stutter midway through his next words made you believe that they weren’t so much of an honest match to his thoughts.

“i’m ready to leave if you want to- just tell me”

absentmindedly, you traced shapes on a patch of sand in front, using a brittle piece of driftwood “i don’t mind staying here a bit longer” you mumbled “the view is pretty”

soobin’s eyes softened as he looked at you “you’re prettier” he said quietly, half-hoping that you wouldn’t be able to pick up his words.

the unexpected comment took you off guard- flustered, you continued to avoid his peering gaze. you decided to question him for confirmation, too unsure whether to take him seriously or not “what’s that supposed to mean?”

pink dusted soobin’s cheeks and his mouth froze slightly agape- rather than giving you an answer, he simply looked ahead at the sea, resting his head on his knees. before he could begin to overthink it, soobin felt your lips softly pressing against his cheek, followed by a low whisper.

“for calling me pretty”

unsure of where exactly this was all leading to, you backed away then turned your head, placing your focus on the distant calls of birds and the waves rhythm instead- trying to steady your throbbing heartbeat in full accordance to their pace. and you were slowly beginning to calm down- that was, until you felt soobin’s lips press against your temple. but they left your skin just as quickly as they had touched it- flustered by his own actions, now it was his turn to look the other way, avoiding your face.

‘what now?’ you thought to yourself, as if you were caught playing some game of chess. it felt like your entire friendship strongly weighed on your next move- no matter how you put it, there was no clear answer that came to mind. panic began to settle in when you saw soobin’s head begin to turn towards you again:

“are you sure about this?” you blurted out impulsively.

“i’ve always been sure about you” soobin spoke under his breath, voice whispering so sweetly into the gusting breeze. the way he smiled after that warmed your heart in a way the sun never could- that tenderness of his reflected onto his face so clearly, and even more so in his touch, as he leaned in to meet your lips, slowly closing the gap between the two of you: a short kiss- still too hesitant to continue with more than just a brush of his lips. soobin gently moved away, just enough to be able to look into your eyes again.

“should i stop?” he whispered, cupping your cheek. his thumb lightly trembled from nervousness as he caressed your skin.

“quite the opposite, actually-” you mumbled faintly, placing your own hand on top of his “do that again, please”

the kiss that followed was still almost as light as a feather- soobin built up the pace slowly yet diligently, but despite threading with so much care, his kisses soon became much more fervent, much needier. a hand dipped down to your waist to pull you closer, soft gasps and sighs escaping whenever your lips parted from one another. with a bit more self control, he pulled away once he was completely out of breath, and with his head falling down to your shoulder, he bashfully confessed:

“if we don’t leave now, i’m not sure if we’re ever getting out of here”

taglist: @huekalover3000 @maybabe00 @sunoooism @boba-beom @ujisworld @wave2vee

[emeraldserenade]

Past Life ~ Joaquín Torres

synopsis: knowing how you died in your last life sounded fun, key word sounded

tw: fem!reader, limited use of y/n, death, they have different names in the past lives (including the reader), murder, violence, barely edited.

fic, ficlet, drabble, request

Guys, I am offically out of drafts to post. Now I gotta start actually thinking of ideas. Please send me requests, I need more inspiration before writer's block hits.

➽──────────────❥

You were given the chance to see how you died in your last life, or really you, Sam, and Joaquín were given the chance for all of you to see how each of you died.

"It seems like fun," you looked at the crystal ball that sat on the table in front of you.

"I don't know, this could be traumatic," Sam warned and you rounded to face him, Joaquín doing the same.

"Come please, Sam," you gave him your best puppy eyes and nudged Joaquín's side so he would do the same.

"Yeah, come on, man," Joaquín added. You two watched as Sam looked between your faces and the ball before sighing.

"Ok, fine, but I warned you," Sam reached over and grabbed the ball. You and Joaquín put your own hands on it, you waited a moment before you felt yourself being pulled in.

─── ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ───

You stood off to the side of a field, Sam and Joaquín beside you. You three looked around before your eyes settled on someone who looked exactly like Sam. Just in older looking clothes and he had more hair than Sam.

"I told you," you heard the man start talking a white man. "I do not know where Alexandria is," Sam's older life stood his ground and you had a horrible feeling where this was going.

"Ben, if you are lying I will have you hung in the town square," the white man got into Ben's face.

"Need I remind you, Philip, I am a Duke. Your threats mean nothing to me," Ben told Philip and you felt a surge of pride.

"Sam, you were a Duke," you nudged his side and he gave you a smile. Philip said nothing to Ben's announcement but you felt the dread come back as he reached into his coat. "Oh no," you mumbled, grabbing onto Joaquín's arm in fear.

"Philip, this will ruin you," Ben held his hands up as Philip held a gun to him.

"I'm sorry friend, but it must be done. Unless you’re willing to tell me where your sister is," Philip slightly lowered the gun.

"Philip, you are my oldest friend here. But I cannot allow you to know the whereabouts of my sister, not when you aim to marry her even when she has not even been introduced to society yet," Ben stood up straighter and got ready for the bullet to hit him. And it did, it hit him right in the chest and you heard the sickening sound of the bullet tearing through Ben's skin. "You will never marry Alexandria," were Ben's dying words.

─── ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ───

You barely had time to process what happened before you three were pulled into the next death scene. You glanced around again and noticed it was Joaquín's turn. You laced your arm through his for comfort and offered your other hand to Sam.

"Carlos," a man walked into the house you were all standing in. It felt familiar to you, you didn't know why but it did.

"Ah, Lorenzo, how are you?" Carlos, the past life of Joaquín, shook the other man's hand. There was an uneasy feeling in the way the two stood in front of each other.

"I would be better if you agree to my offer," Lorenzo sat down on one of the chairs. You took the time to note how, while the clothes are not as old as last time, they definitely are not from modern times.

"You want me to divorce my wife so that you may marry her, why do you think I would do that?" You felt Joaquín stiffen at the words spoken, you knew, from having one too many drinks with him, that one of his biggest fears was having to divorce his wife.

"Because if you don't, I'll kill you and marry her anyway," Lorenzo waved his hand and you gasped softly as more men entered the house.

"You can try, but Rosalie would never marry you," Carlos told Lorenzo and the aforementioned man sighed. You watched as no more words were exchanged between the two as Lorenzo's henchmen shot Carlos.

─── ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ───

You were, again, not given time to process before you were pulled into the last one. Yours, you were scared to see how you died. As you glanced around, you were hit with another wave of familiarity.

"Valerie, baby, come on. Let's go see your dada!" You're past life called to her child. Your heart clenched at the sight of a beautiful little girl running towards your past life.

"Mama, look!" Valerie held a little flower up to her and you watched at the woman smiled.

"It's beautiful, baby," your past self grabbed Valerie's hand and went inside. You three where taken along, you didn't even have to walk. It was like you were on a platform that dragged you along with it.

"You can try, but Rosalie would never marry you," you heard Carlos' voice again and you suddenly understood why the house felt familiar. You watched as your past self, Rosalie, stopped in her tracks before a gunshot was heard.

"Carlos!" Rosalie shouted as she and Valerie entered. Rosalie scooped Valerie into her arms as they both cried.

"Oh, my sweet Rosalie, don't cry," Lorenzo tried to comfort her but she stepped away.

"You killed my husband!" Rosalie shouted and Valerie was roughly taken from her hands.

"You will be my wife!" Lorenzo yelled back, smacking Rosalie hard against the face.

"I would rather die!" Lorenzo took Rosalie's words a challenged and gave the go ahead to killing Valerie. Rosalie was forced to watched as they shot her daughter and threw her body on the floor next to Carlos' like it meant nothing. "No!" Rosalie rushed towards the dead bodies of her husband and child. You could feel Sam and Joaquín's eyes on you as you teared up, you ignored them in favor of watching the rest of this play out.

"Rosalie, all this suffering, all because you wouldn't leave Carlos and marry me. Come, my sweets, and we can start a new family," Lorenzo held his hand out to Rosalie and she reached into Carlos' jacket. You watched as she pulled a dagger out, it was beautiful and intricately made.

"I told you, I would rather die," Rosalie raised the dagger and plunged it into her chest before pulling it out and stabbing herself in the stomach. You gasped softly as she felt forward, her arms wrapping around the bodies of her loved ones.

─── ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ───

You three were thrown out of the memories as the crystal ball shattered. You gasped for air and roughly wiped the tears off your cheeks.

"Y/n, Joaquín, I told you this would be traumatic," Sam reached out for you and you let him pull you to him. Your mind reeling from everything, Sam died protecting his sister, Joaquín died protecting you. You were married to Joaquín, you had his child, and loved him so fiercely that you would rather die than marry someone else. And yet, in his life, you were too scared to even tell him you liked him.

"I'm going to go and lay down," you mumbled, pulling away from Sam and walking off to the guest room in Sam's house.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

"Angel? Are you awake?" Joaquín's voice was soft but you heard him.

"Yeah," you answered, you had been staring off into space thinking about everything. "How are you feeling after watching your old life die?" You questioned, not ready to deal with your emotions.

"Probably just as shocked as you," he admitted. "Sam was right, it was traumatic," Joaquín sighed.

"I," you stopped yourself before talking a breathe of resolve. "Are you weirded out by the fact that we were married and had a child?" You rushed your question out, knowing you would run out of courage otherwise.

"No," Joaquín told you simply and you gave him a curious look. "I love you, y/n," he admitted. You sat up and shuffled closer to him, grabbed his hands in yours.

"I love you too, Joaquín," you told him with a smile that he mirrored. "At least one good thing came from this," you told him.

"Yeah, well now we know, I'll love and marry you in every life time," he gave you his award winning smile and you felt giddy by the prospect that he just implied he would marry you.

➽──────────────❥

Masterlist | Requests

[chibigingi]

My Issue with Solas

(To which I'm going to be berated, blocked, loathed, dismissed by his fans, and that's okay because it's their right, but I gotta get this out.)

First and foremost I will openly admit that I've played most of the Dragon Age games and their DLC (exception being one of the DLCs from Dragon Age 2 involving Corphyeus and the deets on Malcom Hawke, and any DLC in Inquisition), and my enjoyment of the series, up until Veilguard, is casual. I preferred the Mass Effect series and even then I can't say that I know all the lore to consider myself a super fan.

That being said, my issue with Solas (besides some of his crazier fans who genuinely can't acknowledge any flaws or unironically say that the Veil should've came down) is the fact that they wrote him to be too powerful, too clever, and thus wrote themselves (or the ones that ended up taking over as I'm told that the development for Dread Wolf and then eventually Veilguard was... uh... a mess xD) into a corner in regards to how they can realistically combat him by making him the antagonist of the fourth game.

Much of the criticism I see from the hardcore Solas/Dragon Age lore fans usually boil down to the fact that they (the writers) nerfed him so that the heroes of the Veilguard could have a fighting chance.

"Remember when he could turn people into stone without even looking at them?"

"He could've easily subdued Varric without killing him." (Something Neve points out as well if you take her with you to the final showdown in Minrathous)

"I can't believe he'd fall for a fake dagger, they had to BS some excuse that he's concussed or say it's his arrogance that blinded him, whatever, they made him look dumb!"

All reasonable criticisms, but I think the problem lies in the fact that the writers, either his original ones or the new ones, just did themselves an oopsie and powerscaled him to the point that ANY effort to overcome him will be dismissed as 'contrived', 'unrealistic', or that they had to nerf him in order to overcome him.

Which... not really?

Think of it like this. Rook is portrayed as the anti-Solas, regardless if you play them as Blue, Red, or Purple. Whereas Solas schemes, plots ahead, plays chess with others as pawns, willing to sacrifice said pawns when necessary, Rook is literally riding by the seat of their pants and making it up as they go. When your opponent is someone who thinks he has everything figured out, the best way to combat that is to be so wild, so unpredictable, that it throws them off balance, long enough to get a few licks in.

Solas's greatest weakness in regards to Rook is that he always, always, always underestimates Rook and that Rook always does the unexpected.

Whereas Solas knew Varric would try and talk him down, he could never predict that the wild card that Varric hired was stupid enough to drop a freakin' statue on him to stop a ritual (instead of doing something conventional, like, you know... shoot at him from afar or charge boldly at him, like an idiot). ((Though, if Solas had taken the time to know Rook, especially Warden Rook, he's have probably been a little less surprised... or not, because who'd drop a large construction ontop of someone else TWICE in the span of a few months? Seriously, who even does that once, much less twice?))

Whereas Solas expects Rook to be belligerent and distrustful throughout their shared sessions in the Meditation rooms, Rook surprises him by actually listening to his advice, despite their dislike/distrust of him.

Whereas Solas expects Rook to be trapped in the Fade prison, because if someone as smart and clever and powerful as he, the Elven god of lies, deception, rebellion, blah blah blah, then an idiot like Rook who Solas clearly thinks lacks insight and introspection (a far assumption, Rook dropping a statue on him and interrupting a Ritual was literally plan A) couldn't figure it out.

Even the three (technically Five I guess) endings, Rook defeats him by doing the unexpected.

Sacrifice, he never expects Rook to have what it takes to make the sacrifice. Sure, everyone SAYS they'll do whatever it takes to save the world, but how many are actually willing to do it when the gauntlet is thrown? How many have tried to stop Solas with the good ol' 'Whatever it takes' mentality and hadn't either been defeated or chickened out when the time came?

Fight, he expects that Rook would be stupid and fight him on their own, never expecting that his companions would be willing to risk life and limb to fight for Rook (hell, even Emmrich, Mr-Always-Suggests-The-Non-Violent-Option is ready to throw hands the moment Rook says it's Clobbering time).

Trick, this is self-explanatory in that he never expects Emmrich or anyone to have made a fake dagger, nor does he expect Rook to be brazen enough to even try pulling such a trick on him. This is a guy that thought dropping a statue on him was a good idea, after all, and Rook hadn't shown signs of such deviousness before, at least not against him. Who would dare try and outDread Wolf the Dread Wolf? Rook, that's who.

Both Redemption endings, he never expects Rook to actually talk to him in the final confrontation, especially after all that he put Rook through. He's expecting Rook to be so out for blood, so determined to see him as his enemy, so determined to stop him, that the idea that he'd go through the hassle of learning about all of his regrets or finding Mythal's fragment wouldn't have crossed Rook's mind. That Rook actually believed that he was worthy of redemption, after everything he's done, to Rook, to the Inquisitor, to Mythal, to literally all of Thedas... is unexpected.

Look, I get that the writing in Veilguard, especially compared to previous games, isn't all that great. Sometimes it's just bad. I think fans had expected Solas to continue to be this all-powerful being that was always being eluded to through in-game journals and codex entries (or these feats maybe were seen in Trespasser, I don't know because I haven't played it and at this point, I kind of don't want to). I think a lot of the issues arise with expectations, whether they're reasonable expectations or not.

People expected Solas to be bested by a character that could match his wit, but instead, they get a chaotic DnD player that is literally making shit up as they go. Which... if you're a fan of Solas and wanted to maybe see him have a better outcome even though you knew he'd have to lose at the end, I can get the disappointment. Or maybe you hate Solas but are still disappointed that you couldn't really do all the terrible things you wanted to do to him (like, me... sorry, but my Inquisitor would NOT have called him 'Friend'... don't give me the option to say 'I want to stop him' if you're just going to be lazy and have it the same as the 'I want to help him' but just a little less nice). Sorry y'all didn't get the game you wanted or the game you feel the series deserves... fate conspired against us players and the developers who tried despite being given an impossible task.

Maybe I'm pessimistic, and I'll admit I have some bias against Solas anyways as I never cared for him even BEFORE the reveal in Inquisition, but I just had a feeling that the decision to have the entire series revolve around him was going to eventually bite Bioware in the butt, because once the expectations was there, the chances of them living up to said expectations was slimmer than Emmrich's waistline. Maybe with more time and resources and not having EA constantly trying to make Dragon Age something it could never be, y'all have gotten the game y'all feel the series deserve.

Or maybe y'all be bitching because there'll be something else that y'all didn't like in how he was handled. I don't know, I'm like Rook in that I don't have time for that kind of insight. I enjoyed the game, for all of its many flaws... only other Dragon Age game I played more than once was 2, and that was because I screwed up with Isabela and I hate finishing a game without a full party available to me (if it is possible and not because of the developers forcing the players to make a choice to kill, or have a character leave no matter what you do).

Anyways, TL;DR version: Rook is my precious baby and we were never going to get a version of Veilguard that would've satisfied the fans nor EA's ridiculous expectations...

[bat-play]

Hi! I don't want to seem rude at all!! I promise I'm not here to hate, I just want to get a grasp on how you see the batfamily?? Is it pure pseudocest? Are there some you think are best platonic? Is there a certain comic/movie/show that made you realise the batfam is better as a non-platonic thing??

I personally don't get it due to Bruce (sort of) raising them from a decently young age but I'm interested in learning and hearing about it from your perspective if you're willing to give it!

If not, that's fine, I don't want this to seem rude or a hate remark.

Look I'm not some philosopher, I just think it's hot dude.

If you want a well-crafted and seriously thought out answer about the history, dynamics and reasons to ship these fictional characters, I'd definitely go to blogs like @inkrats and/or @vintagerobin for that.

What I can add though is another question; Why does the majority of people, including the official writers, think Barbara and Dick are sooo stinking cute together even though that's basically "pseudocest" too?

I mean the modern canon is that Barbara and Dick essentially grew up together. Bruce helped raise them both, considering the amount of time Barbara spent with him. She is a part of the Batfamily. So they are "pseudo siblings" just like Jason and Dick for example. How can antis be like "yeah but it's fine. Oh it's even canon in some stories? yeah that's fine. Yeah no no it's not weird. Also KYS if you ship other batfamily members."

Even if we go by the original canon, Barbara was 7 years older than Dick then if I'm not mistaken. And according to posts I've seen, many antis think anything over a 5 year age difference is pedophilia sooooo. Do you see how stupid this all is?

Hell in the animated version of The Killing Joke, Bruce canonically FUCKED Barbara for no reason other than to just have them do it. And yeah most people didn't really vibe with it but it got MADE dude. It got approved, animated, edited and released without any pushback from the workers/writers involved.  

Like the only real difference I can see is that those ships are straight.

Bottom line is, did anyone get hurt in 2013 when everybody and their mother on this damn site was shipping Levi (30-33) and Eren (15) from AOT? No? That's what I thought. And don't even try denying how big that fucking ship was at that time.

Antis are usually young, passionate kids who mean well but they seriously need to learn how fantasy and reality works. And if they can't? You filter your online experience and take care of yourself.

I personally hate kids for example. I do NOT want to see posts about babies, diapers and pregnant bellies when I'm online. Do I send hate to parents or pregnant people? Demand they stop posting? Of course not. I block, I filter tags, scroll past and move on with my life.

[stanpinesdykewife]

Are you still working on that angsty fic where the reader tells Stan he doesn't have a say in who they talk to or fuck? That little sneak peek alone had so much delicious drama, I'm so curious to know if you intend on finishing it.

YES yes i do! wow i can't believe you remember that!! yes, i plan on finishing it but my writer's block has been pretty heavy... but it means a lot that you asked!! i know i've been pretty bad at keeping my promises lately HAHA but since you asked and since i still can't tell you when i'll finish it, i'm happy to share a little more of that scene under the cut!!! hopefully this will help hold you over until i start churning out content again:

lady plumber WIP stan/reader (fem) pre/during/post-canon/unspecified angst and smut, 997 words (picking up from this snippet!)

“I'm not yours. I don't belong to you.” You catch the rest of your words in your throat. You don't want me. You don't want me.

For a few moments, Stan is speechless. He stares at you, his eyes searching your expression, his mouth opening and closing and opening again. You stand there, staring at each other, and the rest of the bar laughs and drinks and shifts around you.

Stan’s brown eyes shine in the dim lights, and he purses his lips. Darts his tongue out to wet them before opening them again, taking a breath in like he wants to say something. But you—fuck, you fucking hate that you’re doing this—your eyes flicker down to watch his tongue, and they stay there to watch the thin sheen of spit glistening beneath a pink spotlight. Your gaze lingers for a beat too long. When you look back up at Stan’s eyes, his brows are raised. Then he relaxes. His lips curl back into a crooked grin. You already know you’re fucked.

“Doin’ what?” Stan asks lowly, still looking at you. You finally look away, lowering your head to look at the back of your own hand, willing it to move. Stan’s hand comes up between your bodies, and he presses it against yours, and his touch is so gentle. His hand covers yours entirely. He flattens your palm against his chest. The hair there tickles the sensitive skin of your wrist. “Look at me, will ya?”

“I know you don’t,” Stan says cooly, like he’s approaching a spooked horse. The simile is apt, because when he takes a small step forward with his hands raised, you have half the mind to kick him in the head with all your strength before running away. But you’re frozen in place, like you’ve sunken six inches in mud and silt and your nice shoes are all fucked up but you’d do more damage trying to take them off. You don’t move as Stan comes closer, and closer, and your head is forced to tilt up to see his face.

“Stop,” you say, your voice sounding much too soft in the bustle of the bar. Your hand comes up, meant to dissuade him from coming any closer, but it doesn’t work. All it does is press your hand against Stan’s bare skin when he stands right in front of you, and your knees go weak at the warmth from his chest, the heat melting against your fingertips, all the way up your arm, warming you up from the inside out. You say, softer this time, “Stop doing that.”

You look up. Stan smiles down at you.

“Let’s talk this out,” he suggests, “somewhere more private.”

You fucking hate yourself.

You nod.

Twenty minutes later, Stan is pressing you facedown on your bed as he pounds into you from behind. He’s fucking you so well you can almost forget the shame boiling beneath your surface.

“Fuck, I missed you,” you whine, gripping the edge of the pillow. You're drooling into it, spit and moans and unholy little gasps falling out of your mouth and soaking the soft cotton. You don't care. Stan’s dick is so big in you, so deep, and the stretch feels so good. It's like your body's been waiting for him to come back, to make room for himself again. You repeat yourself, moaning into the pillow, “Missed you so fucking much.”

“Fuckin’—shit,” Stan curses, breathing heavily from behind you. He has a bruising grip on your waist, drawing you back every time he drives into your cunt. You don't expect an actual response from him, not really. So it's not your fault your heart skips when he says, “Missed you, too, babe. Missed this perfect cunt.”

“Yeah?” you ask, your breath catching in anticipation. Then Stan squeezes your waist, adjusts his grip slightly so his calloused fingertips are in that crook between your thigh and hip, and a low moan draws out of you. “You missed me?”

“Fuck—Yeah,” Stan grunts, fucking into you with fervor, and the swell of feeling in your chest makes you shudder, makes your face flush. “Missed the way you feel around me. So fuckin’ tight. And the way you sound when I…”

He trails off to thrust hard into you, forcing your body forward a few inches. Then he grinds, making you cry out, and one of his hands slips down underneath your hips to find your clit. He's so rough about it that you instinctively startle forward, but Stan just grabs you with his other hands and pulls your hips back to be flush against his. His fingers let up a little and you melt, moaning loud into the pillow, your hips rocking back, and forth, into his hand, back onto his dick, in your own perfect rhythm.

“Yeah. There it is,” Stan huffs behind you, a smile playing at his voice. But he sounds just as hazy and sex-drunk as you do, high with the incredible rush of breaking a dry spell for some good fucking sex.

(Somewhere in the back of your mind, you wonder if that's the best way to describe it. A tolerance break. A relapse. You wonder if you’re addicted to fucking this handsome man who's so much older than you, so much meaner to you than he has any right to be. You wonder if it's dangerous. If there’s any merit to that small part of you that insists on packing all your shit and changing your name and driving, alone, until your car breaks down in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, left with your inanimate belongings and a soreness in your chest and a cold, empty passenger seat.)

Then Stan says, “That's right. Moaning so pretty for me, sweetheart.” (And you decide you’re better off not thinking about it.)

[olderthannetfic]

I find the recent "proshippers who express their dislike for certain AUs/ships/characters are just as bad as antis and aren't really proshippers" discussion to be...interesting? Here's my two cents:

I reject the dichotomy, tbh. I think we, without even realizing it, get a bit too hung up on the "ship" part of it and not hung up enough on the "pro" part of it. We all know that antis don't just send death threats and rape threats and other horrendous stuff just due to ships. They do the same over characters, kinks, tropes, etc. Even if you don't ship Reylo, you're seen as just as bad as the filthy Reylos if you're pro Bendemption.

HOWEVER...I really do not think we should liken "omg they ship wincest how cringe" or even "oh ew wincest is gross, shippers dni" to sending actual hate, threats, etc to wincest shippers. Personally, I am no more or less offended by "I hate Jarley shippers so much, their taste is awful!" than I am by "I hate high school AU writers so much, their taste is awful!" Sure, an anti trashtalking Jarley or other #toxique pairings definitely has more connotations and implications than a proshipper trashtalking ~vanilla~ AUs, but the actual WORDS aren't really all that different, yk?

I think, unless you're actually harassing someone -- and i do mean harassing, not sending a one-off troll anon -- and i do mean someone, not just a vague DNI banner in your card or a general post here and there about how Incest Is Bad, then you can express whatever opinions you want so long as you stay out of the tag and don't say your opinion directly as a reaction to someone telling you about their work. (eg "I just started my MCU/Sherlock crossover fanfic!" "Omg what? That's so cringe! Write a Serbian pigeon movie AU instead")

I'm one of the people who identifies as an ex-anti, but i think i was more of the whole "i'm not, but i believe in their beliefs." I was always against harassment and threats and I often unfollowed/blocked people who DID do that shit or who made callout posts or whatever. If we were close enough, I'd tell the person off, knowing they'd probably be more willing to listen to a friend or mutual who has their beliefs than a stranger on the other end of the spectrum. Really, the worst I ever did was reblog those stupid posts about fiction impacting reality (the infamous Jaws post comes to mind in particular) or about how incest/age gap/etc is Bad and Wrong. Definitely not super cool, but it was by no means bullying or harassment.

If I were to go out of my way and express my hate for a certain series or character or ship or trope in the tag, in the comments, to someone's face, I'd be a pretty terrible person! But if I just post on my blog about how something isn't for me, that's not harassing anyone.

Even today I think I still have a "not, but believe in their beliefs" stance about proshipping. Maybe I wore myself out of it when I was in my anti phase, but at this point I don't really have much desire to discuss it, outside of this ask i guess lol and occasionally some comments on the ao3 subreddit. I don't even reblog those uwu here's how the world works posts that are like "REMINDER that ao3 is an ARCHIVE :) it was created for PROBLEMATIC CONTENT :)" "ALL SHIPS ARE GOOD SHIPS" "fiction is not reality!" types of posts that are not explicitly about proshipping but also are clearly about proshipping. Not even because I disagree, but because at this point in time it feels very similar to reblogging "HEY :) please DONT feed the animals at the zoo :)" "Reminder that you need to TURN YOUR PHONE ON before you can start using it :)" or other like...incredibly basic infos about life lol. It's basically the ship discourse equiv of those early 2012 posts that are like "REBLOG IF YOU SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE <3" Like, yes, but...I don't need to do bare-bones virtue signalling on my blog for you to figure that out LOL

Im getting off topic and i don't really know what the original point i'm trying to make here is, just like...I get that it always sucks to see someone bashing your taste, even if it's just casual or humorous. but I think if someone is just making a post about how much they dislike certain things, that doesn't mean they're not a pro-shipper. It's only when you start actually being rude to people that I might question your actual "anti-harassment" values. I don't have many dark tastes myself, but I also am not a huge fan of the flowershop/school/job/modern AUs. Me saying "rape fics aren't for me" or "coffee shop fics aren't for me" hold the same exact weight and they say nothing about my views on fiction and what should and shouldn't be read or written; i'm neither a puritan who hates Bad Things nor a pretentious asshat who hates Silly Things. I will support the beloved mutuals'/friends' dark fiction from afar...I will do the exact same thing with their lighthearted fiction. i try not to keep ANY negative opinions on my blog, even if it's just an innocent post about how i dont enjoy a certain thing. but the vocal-minority idea that no one is allowed to say anything negative ever or they're not actually anti harassment is uh. Fascinating for sure!

--

[talesofsonicasura]

A Storm's Song

They say there is a unique beauty hidden within a storm's roar. Whether it's true depends on the one who is willing to listen.

A Hoshikaf drabble involving Siren!Kafka and Marine Biologist!Soshiro! There is an event for the pairing happening around February 24-March 2nd but you probably won't see me participate. It was already difficult even trying to write this.

Writer's block and an erratic schedule tend to do that to anyone. I'm a bit rusty so I hope this turns out alright! Please enjoy!

"Looks like the radio is busted." Normally one would hardly care if an instrument like this was broken. People spend entire afternoons without music to keep them preoccupied while during work. The same doesn't go for a marine biologist who's over 100 miles away from dry land.

Soshiro couldn't help but pinch his nose, irritation rising as the once working radio continued to play cacophonic static. He turned the thing off before returning the emergency toolkit back underneath the boat's console. The man had set sail today as a pod of whales were migrating nearby and he wanted to record their song.

Sadly his ship's radio system chose it was time to finally break on him. Not before he put on his wetsuit and checked the cameras to see if the whales were in range. The dumb thing decided to break right as the hydrophone was ready for deployment.

"I have no doubt the whales have already left the area by now. Can things get any worse today?" Almost if on cue, a rain drop plop down on his purple haired head before being accompanied by a harsh downpour.

Soshiro briskly walked into the lower deck of his ship without a word. He wasn't gonna entertain the universe's bullshit any further as that's asking for something worse than rain. Last time the man did, a gull stole his Mont Blanc and dropped it into the sea.

Soshiro was halfway through his homemade unagi when a small flash of electric cyan appeared in the far distance. He sat at the control console on deck keeping an eye on the grey shrouded sea as the rainstorm continued its course. It wasn't dark enough to warrant the search beams but the man didn't need to anyway.

The seemingly growing white bone fin amongst a sea of rainbow bioluminescence swallowed the little shadows left as it grew closer. Soshiro wasn't scared when the water around him lit up. His demeanor remains the same despite the large bone pillar sitting not even a 50 ft from his small boat.

Why would he be as the marine biologist knew who it belonged to. The water before him begins to rise with the emergence of a familiar white bone masked face. Rainbow colors all across its bulky near black scaled body diluting back into cyan highlights.

Slitted teal eyes of those pitch black skull sockets met Soshiro's first as the sea slinked off its massive form. The beast opened its inhumanely large maw lined to the brim with razor sharp teeth akin to a Great White...to yawn. "Did you just wake up from a nap Kafka?"

Soshiro continues to munch at his unagi as he watches the kaiju looking siren stretch out his back for a moment. Too bad he didn't have his camera on to record the little show before him. It would've made this day suck a little less.

"This coming from the guy eating lunch in the middle of a rainstorm at sea. You do know kaiju are more active around these times despite it being just rain." The deadpan tone in the distorted light husky male voice spoke back from Kafka's toothy maw.

"It's a good thing that I have my big strong and loving siren boyfriend here to keep me safe." Soshiro gingerly picked up his last bite then toss it over to the sea beast. Kafka easily caught the small piece of fish, a soft rumble reverberating from his chest as he savored the offering.

Soshiro can't help but be amused at how simple the siren was. A miniscule piece of eel would have Kafka singing like it's the best thing on Earth. Singing...

"You said ya were a siren right? I find it strange that I've never heard ya sing before." The pleasant mood immediately evaporated back to the unease of the pouring rain. Kafka's piercing teal eyes dulled as a longing look came over them.

"Every siren is born with their own unique song. It's something we learn to find once reaching a certain age. The elders always told us that our song is split between three different voices ever since the time of our ancestors." Kafka paused for a few minutes before continuing.

"The voice of mortals which links itself to the humans near enough to hear. Another born from beasts that lend its weaker half the strength to snare. Finally the monster who uses the opportunity given by the other two to swallow the listener's mind. All three work together to allow us sirens to enchant others."

Soshiro gently hummed as he continued to write this information down in his private notebook. His gaze having never left Kafka's nervous visage. The marine biologist let his lover continue the story at his own pace.

"Sirens...take our singing very seriously. I have heard stories from my old pod where puppies were abandoned by their parents because something was wrong with their song. We can only enchant others if all three voices are in harmony. Even the slightest offkey will cause them to quarrel until one dominated over the other two."

Soshiro immediately halted his writing, his brows scrunching together as a familiar feeling washed over him. The weight of disappointment and disapproval. "My song... it's broken. The mutation fed into my monster voice to the point it silenced the others. A siren who can't sing is considered worthless..."

The notebook closed with a soft thump as the marine biologist set it aside. Kafka's head was slumped over in shame that his bony cheek barely brushed against the boat's guard rails. Soshiro gently places his hand on its smooth porcelain surface as teal eyes looked back at him.

"Kafka, can I hear your song?" Teal orbs widened in sheer disbelief at the words spoken. "But it's-" "I don't care if it's broken. No one has the right judge to ya for it. They're too stuck up on the power than the person behind it."

Soshiro leaned in a little closer to Kafka's cheek. "Plus how can they judge if no one ever hears ya sing? Kaiju drawn by the rainstorm will keep any eavesdroppers away. Your song is only mine to hear right now, nobody else's."

Kafka couldn't help but stare as he tried to understand the words spoken before him. Soshiro wanted to hear his song... Despite everything he said about it being broken.

The siren's form gently glanced around their surroundings. No one else was there amongst the erratic waves nor swimming under the surface. It really is just the two of them.

Despite the assurance, Soshiro could tell Kafka still seemed a little nervous. Luckily he had just the thing for that. The siren didn't notice the marine biologist leaving briefly as his thoughts invasively took over his mind.

A control swiftly broke by the wafting aroma of something familiar salty yet sweet. Slitted teal orbs glimpsed to meet Soshiro's form hovering over a large steel drum. Glistening inside the metal barrel's pool of soy sauce to greet him were countless fried eels.

"Not your standard liquid courage but I did promise ya some unagi." Kafka unconsciously licked his fangs before cautiously picking up the barrel. It honestly looked like a metallic shot glass in between the siren's giant fingers.

A fitting comparison as Soshiro watches him down the entire unagi soup if it were vodka. The ship vibrated a little from the humming purr that erupted out of Kafka's chest. 'Such a lovingly simple creature he is.'

The soft vibration softened as the massive siren put a little extra distance between himself and the smaller vessel. He went through a short mental checklist. Clear his throat of any delicious unagi? Check. Take a deep breath? Check. Focus on Soshiro only not the mess that's your abhorrent song.

With that last mental box ticked off, Kafka took a small pause and began to sing.

Ominous. It was the first word to greet Soshiro's mind when the song began. He hadn't been lying about the monster voice being more dominant than the other two. An embodiment of a storm itself, foreboding and fierce yet beautifully gentle if one was willing to wait out its fury. Fitting for someone like Kafka.

Despite the encompassing howl of the monster, there were two much quieter voices behind it. Subdued but still present if he focuses. One call Soshiro immediately recognized as a humpback whale from the eerie gentle tone their songs tend to carry. The human voice took a second to identify for an opera signer. Particularly one who savors the lower notes often heard in tragedies.

He unintentionally imagined the two quieter voices desperately trying to match their stronger counterpart. Every attempt to reach the monster's level always results in bruises and shame. The duet now follows the stronger sibling at a distance, present but easily ignored. Something Soshiro knew too well.

He shook his head and went back to Kafka's serenade. The howl began to steadily rise along with the air around them. Large fins twisted into bioluminescent teal wings slowly spread open to the rise. His teal markings shining even brighter as electricity began to crackle off the siren's body.

'Here comes the finale.' Kafka's song ascended into a loud earthshaking roar. Faux wings spread out so wide that they overtook the sky, lightning surge down from the clouds as if on command, and the erratic sea parting around them in fright. Soshiro was glad he didn't wear a hat today or the thing would've been in the clouds right now.

Harsh ragged pants burst out of Kafka's throat as his body began to unwind from the adrenaline surge. Why did he riled himself up so much!? The siren is already a failure for his broken song! He...

The sound of soft clapping froze Kafka solid. Wide teal orbs slowly look at the tiny form that was his potential mate. Those delightful sounds were accompanied by the rare appearance of Soshiro's beautiful red purple heterochromic eyes and more sincere smile.

"I can't believe ya were holding out on me! Such a hauntingly beautiful melody. Hopefully I can hear more in the future." Sparkling silver tears steadily began to pour from Kafka's bony sockets as his lower jaw began to chatter. The marine biologist barely had a second to pray before the siren's large form came straight for him.

"OOOOOH MY SWEET SOSHI!!" "OI! Be careful or else you're going to capsize the boat!!" The rain steadily began to ebb away as light started to pierce through the gray clouds. Almost if the heavens were appeased by the siren's song.

Or the peculiar love between man and beast displayed amidst the open sea.

And that's it. This drabble is part of an AU in the works. I'll be linking it here when the basis is fully written.

This is my first time writing for these characters so I really hope they aren't too OOC. Any questions can be answered on my main blog @sonicasura.

@mechazushi @noodlesbf-blog @kafkahibinomybeloved @iceclew @giantgoblin @renard-dartigue @oxandthorn @xprincesiex @scribblermerlin @driokrine @terra-sketches @okonogikonomi @kaijuice-z @maypl-syrup @writeroffanfiction @omniithe-deer