#I'm way too emotional about this
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My babies
#Today's show was so family#I love them#they are a family#they are so cute#I'm way too emotional about this#i will shut up now#the 1975#at their very best#matty healy
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the thing is i want to care about the other storylines... i want to care about Madney having another baby. i want to care about Eddie working on himself and getting better. i want to care about how good Eddie's confession scene was. i want to care about the hot priest. i want to care about the rescues. i want to care because i love all the characters. i love the show. but right now i can't enjoy any of it because of how bad they fucked up with BuckTommy. i can't care for my faves because all i see is the biphobia. all i see is Tommy ending up alone and hurt. all i see is Buck getting his heart broken out of nowhere. all i hear are Oliver's words which he doesn't seem to understand were hurtful. and it sucks. because i want to care. i want to enjoy my favorite show
#i'm way too emotional about this#but it sucks bc rhe episode had some very good and funny moments#there were even some good bucktommy snippets#and then they had to go and ruin it all#911 spoilers
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(random s5 finale musings) tbh I don't think Marinette chose to keep The Secrets™ from Adrien because Gabriel asked her to. I feel like Marinette keeping secrets like that is so consistent with her character; she hates giving people bad news, she hates rocking the boat, she hates upsetting people, she always chooses to keep any 'controversial' information to herself for as long as she can get away with (examples: bubbler scarf, telling Queen Bee she was benched, confessing to Adrien, warning Chat Noir about Scarabella or Rena Furtive, never told Chat Noir about Chat Blanc, etc) that I just totally believe she would've done it either way. She was even already having nightmares about Adrien hating her for finding out she defeated his father, so I feel like Gabriel's request was moreso giving her a go-ahead than it was a primary deciding factor, yknow?
#ml s5 spoilers#tbh half the time when thinking about it I forget that gabriel asked her to do it at all#because it just feels like such a Marinette™ thing to do to me lol#to be fair maybe I'm downplaying it? I do think Gabriel's plea struck some emotional chord with her too and helped push her that direction#but again I. totally believe she'd do it either way#and I do strongly believe that her decision is moreso ''I don't want to hurt Adrien'' than it is ''I want to honor Gabriel's final wish''#she loves to avoid verbal/emotional problems and hoooo boy idk a worse verbal/emotion problem than#telling your boyfriend that his entire life is a lie and that he's not entirely human and that he was abused and controlled and puppeteered#all his life and also that his father was a terrorist and that she saw his mom's corpse in the basement#I mean. I don't think I'd have the emotional maturity to break that to someone either and I'm not.... FOURTEEN.... LOL
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So ill about the Sky cotl AU, I put Siffrin into multiple capes for fun
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#in stars and time siffrin#I am stupid fond of the hairpiece default moths have#so I needed to give it to Siffrin it just looks cute#slapped the color on as if I was on the run too#colored the eye red on accident and went#okay no I'm onto something here#also also because I think way too much about this AU but#my heart started beating wildly when thinking of them getting a mask as in#the rite of passage and also because saving two countries AND showing yes you are home you belong with us no matter where you go after#I'm so emotional about them getting home I'm not okay
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hey brennan what the fuck
#the emotional whiplash of this episode was genuinely insane i think i was about to burst into tears at some point and then they cut to the#fucking commercial. vic michaelis and brennan lee mulligan i ADORE you brennan you did not have to go as hard as you did on this one#this felt like a literal fever dream#like i don't even know if i fully understand it rn the last bit w vic and the radio was a bit open to interpretation#ALL of it felt open to interpretation but like. in an insane way#someone suggested host vic has dreams of/hallucinates these guests to escape from the mundanity of her real job and they try to teach smth#i dont like the dream trope but that would be v interesting#someone also said they were in a time loop which would be. intriguing#anyways i will miss this show so much someone said it was greenlit for s2 too so i'm crossing my fingers thats legit#vip spoilers#very important people spoilers#very important people#dropout#vic michaelis#brennan lee mulligan#vip
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Just going to cry again (see: my previous post about the parallels between the storage room scene and the abandoned factory scene) about parallels and juxtapositions in the store room scene vs the one in Styles bedroom:
Both these scenes have such a tone of desperation and are characterised by an overflowing of emotions, but in drastically opposite directions.
(Note, some of what I say in this post directly relates to concepts and themes I talked about here, so it may not wholly make sense without that context.)
The scene in the storeroom is filled with frustrated desire. Fadel kisses Style because he wants Style's body and also wants to take his frustrations at Style out on his body. He doesn't need to look Style in the eye (and in fact very intentionally only does so only in small snatches) because this isn't about a connection as much as it is about a release. Fadel's kisses come fast, hard, and are intended to bruise more than to adore.
But episode 5's scene is filled with much more quiet and tender sort of desire. Style is kissing Fadel so much more slowly and purposefully. He keeps looking back at Fadel, checking in to see how he feels and whether Fadel is enjoying it. Everything Style wanted in Episode 3, he now gives to Fadel here, pours the secrets of his knowing and choosing Fadel anyway into the way he presses his lips onto Fadel's skin. His kisses linger, they carry a weight but are not gentle, and contain meaning that Fadel's kisses couldn't in Episode 3 because in all honesty they were relative strangers back then.
There's also the way there's such a ferocity and carelessness in the way Fadel starts the encounter in episode 3 that is juxtaposed beautifully by the slow, tender, almost hesitant way Style slides his lips onto Fadel's. Both of them are in such different headspaces, between these episodes and its especially evident in the way they care so much more about the other person's comfort and how intentionally they showed that to the audience.
There's hunger present in both scenes but what this hunger is focused on is so drastically different. In the storeroom, they're both mainly focused on a physical release; its primal and visceral but lacked emotional resonance. Fadel gives Style what he knows Style wants (that hint of danger, with the hand on his neck), but its not because he really cares about what Style wants on anything more than a physical level. In Style's bedroom, however, Fadel is drunk (intentionally and by his own design) and desperate to open himself up to Style on an emotional level. Meanwhile, Style wants that desperately too, but knows that Fadel shouldn't because of his own terrible secret. So this kiss is what they both will allow themselves - an honesty and a hunger for this deeper connection they can only share in act but not in words.
In the storeroom, Style wants Fadel to want more than his body but knows (or thinks) he can't push for it yet, so he remains passive, lets Fadel do whatever he wants, lets him turn and shove and place Style how he wants because at this point, this is all Fadel will give him. Here, Style is passive in spite of what he wants. But in the bedroom, Fadel is passive because it's what he wants; he wants to let Style do whatever he desires to and with Fadel's body. He wants to lay himself as bare as he possibly can, which is only physical, and so he does.
And because the encounter in Episode 3 lacked that emotional connection, the focus is merely their respective releases. There's a sense of two people trying to find pleasure and 'finish' while remaining emotionally disconnected despite actively having sex with each other. Because in some ways, they didn't really need each other in that moment to get there (there's actually a lot of truth in what Fadel says about it being easier to just jerk off alone). In sharp contrast, the scene in Episode 5 isn't focused on the destination but on the journey. Style is taking his time and Fadel is letting him - Style is choosing to worship Fadel's body, with his fingers, with his lips, to respond to his vulnerability with gentleness and tenderness and adoration. The goal has stopped being about finding a release, it's about allowing both these men to revel in the giving and receiving of pleasure.
The point of these scenes is to show to us the ways in which Fadel and Style have grown to care for and, dare I say it, love each other in ways that are so purposefully portrayed by showing the nature of their physical connection. Because the ways in which these scenes are the same and yet so wholly different showcases how their touches are now no longer merely tied to their senses any longer, but also to their hearts as well.
#when i say i am OBSESSED ugh T_T#what joongdunk did in episode 5 just makes me appreciate and anew how much they're intentionally changing things each time#there's such care taken to portraying the characters growth and change of feelings and we are so blessed to be able to experience it!#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#fadelstyle#stylefadel#joongdunk#joong archen#dunk natachai#thk ep 5#thk ep 3#thk meta#<my posts>#shoutout to all the gifmakers because this post wasn't nearly as impactful with stills#i do wish there was a better way to search for gifs though TwT#also i've never been a colour analysis girl (because i don't know enough about it; not because i'm not interested...#i mostly don't know where to start)#but wow the lighting feels very intentional too: the cold and clinical shades of blue indicating the emotional distance between them#vs the warm and soft red/orange glow surrounding style's bedroom scene#yeah everything about these scene was so beautifully done and i'm so grateful we get to see it TwT
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This one was a freaking doozy. If I keep talking i think i may be in trouble
#dbhc#dbhc explained#dbhc xisuma#dbhc android 24#dbhc art#dbhc s8#hermitcraft#xisuma s8#evil empire#hermitcraft au#tw manipulation#tw eye strain#tw emotional abuse#my sona#the shepherd#art escapades#when i tell you this comic has been infesting my brain. for weeks. straight. this is what i mean#i'm literally so sick and ill about them#send help#send help please#i need to lay down#android 24...... ixisisuauammmaa........ sniffles#beginning of the end they say#lmk if there's anything else i should tag#long post#i love throwing yalls tags in too bc some of you freaking nail it on the head#so much love to those who dig for details and also to those who bother to sit down and read all of this nonsense x]#there were a few things in the tags that i very much saw but am choosing not to acknowledge <said in a “im winking/nodding at you” way not#“problematic” way
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I'm not a poet or a paleoartist but I am fucking emotionally wrecked right now.
I keep thinking of the tiny little homotherium cub found in the ice. They died thousands of years ago, lived for less than a month - but they're so loved. Of course none of us can say If they were or weren't loved in life, but they're loved in death and makes it so much more beautifully tragic. They died cold alone, freezing and barely old to walk. They were alone like that for thousands of years, but they've been found again and they're so loved.
Thousands of people know about this tiny little thing that lived thousands of years ago and we love them so much.
It's a full moon tonight where I live, light enough that when I went out to get my clothes off the line I didn't even need a torch to see. I keep wondering what that cub's life was like, for the short one it experienced. Did they have siblings? Did any of them live longer, with long enough to hunt with their mother? Was their mother dead before they were? Did they ever get to see a full moon?
This is one incoherent ramble but I'm a mess about this
#homotherium#fossils#paleontology#pleistocene#i wish we had a way to tell that sweet little thing just how loved it is#that we could tell their mother her child is safe now even if it's not with her#i know they wouldn't be able to understand us but im emotional#still actively crying#i re-read a post here about it some 20 minutes ago and just started writting this#i love them so much#i turned my pc off for today an hour ago but I'm turning it back on#gonna make the best(probably shitty) statue of this little one and mama i can in minecraft as an outlet for my immense saddness and love#probably going to cry doing that too
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Jaiden: Cucurucho, you have a lot of power, right?
Cucurucho: ...I don't know. Maybe.
Roier: Ah... Yes, you know, don't act like a dumbass, you have it. You have it, man. Eh?
Jaiden: Is there a way for us to protect all the Eggs? Do you know? I don't want anything to happen to the Eggs that happened to Bobby.
Cucurucho: Ha ha ha
Roier: WHAT? [Smacks Cucurucho]
Jaiden: [Bops him] Headpats.
Cucurucho: Maybe.
Jaiden: [Continues to bop him] Headpats. C'mon, I can get it out of you! Headpats! Chin scratches! Belly rubs!
Roier: [Joins Jaiden in bopping Cucurucho, chuckling and laughs]
Jaiden: Yeah? He's comin' around!
[Jaiden and Roier both laugh]
#Jaiden Animations#Roier#Cucurucho#QSMP#Jaiden#Animations Family#There is. So much I could say about these three#and so much I could say about their relationship / interactions with Cucurucho and Osito Bimbo#Cards on the table... I really would have loved it if Cucurucho / Osito genuinely cared about Jaiden#I mean I know they DID care about her to some extent that much is clear#But they / the Federation were also ABSOLUTELY using her. I'm not arguing that they weren't#But how could anyone not be charmed by Jaiden? The boba the tea parties the head pats–#The empathy and kindness and everything that made q!Jaiden who she was–#Cucurucho and Osito were tools of the Federation but I do want to believe they cared about Jaiden. Albeit in their own fricked up way#I dunno. I know this sounds like massive copium probably but I watched all of her and Roier's streams interacting with them#and I personally think that conflict and duality makes for a more interesting story#But that's just me and my own personal biases. I dunno how to properly put it into words but I am cradling them all close to my heart#I loved Cucurucho / Osito and I thought they were interesting and I'm SO SAD we'll never know what Jaiden did for them in the past#Anyways. For anyone who's read this far into my rant– you know how Cucurucho saved the Eggs and Jaiden said she died in Purgatory?#I like imagining that she survived the bomb and wound up finding the Eggs in the aftermath#and she helped them survive until Cucurucho found them#I imagine that Jaiden was the reason they were able to escape from the Island / The Watcher / ElQuackity#She stayed behind to slow down their pursuers. And Cucurucho rescuing all the Eggs fulfilled his agreement with Jaiden—#A promise to protect the Eggs#Like I said a lot of this is copium but that's what I like imagining#TLDR: Cucurucho / Osito did care about her in a weird way but that doesn't mean they weren't manipulating her#May 31 2023#Idk man I got a lot of emotions about q!Jaiden#Roier too but I feel like I've done way more analysis posts about him and Cucurucho. Jaiden needs time in the spotlight#Anyways there's my monthly tag rant
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤
🌱
#🌱Thank you<33🌱#I guess my latest vent art post made some of you guys worried. I'm sorry ;;n;; )#but I'm alright. well.. kind of? Like I haven't done anything to myself kind of alright?#maybe I should explain bit about my situation but at the same time I don't feel comfortable to open up too much#but simply said it's about doing art as a job and mental health#Things haven't been going well but I am getting help for my mental health#This is all what I will say for now about my situation#I apologize again that I made you guys worried#but I do warn that I might post more vent art if I get enough energy to draw#this is just one way how I deal with my emotions#but if you don't like vent art I suggest to block the words vent and vent art#I remember tumblr has this option somewhere??#and uhh.. I don't really know how to end this post but thank you everyone who has been sending support<33#I might not know how to reply to them but I have read them all and I'm very thankful for all the support what you guys have given me🌱#Thank you🌱#ask#anon#me talking
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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Thinking of the Nie disciple that told Nie Mingjue it was Meng Yao who stayed behind to clean up corpses on the battlefield today.
Nie Mingjue didn't just randomly stumble upon poor lil meowyao eating bread in the novel, he was already looking for him to thank and reward him for his work.
That's what makes it so fun that nieyao's first conflict will end up being about someone else taking credit for Meng Yao's work.
And I'm sure that Nie Mingjue's actual opinions on plagiarism are a lot more nuanced, all we really get from him in this scene is "well you shouldn't kill someone over it!" which leaves a lot of room for what punishments he thinks are appropiate. But I bet that it isn't occuring to him in this moment that the only reason he knows Meng Yao at all, the only reason he got such a capable deputy, is that he noticed someone was taking care of the dead and cared enough to want to know their name. And then the Nie disciples didn't lie to him. The disciple he asked could have said "it was me, Zongzhu" to rise in the ranks himself, but he didn't. He went and asked others, who all also could have taken the credit, but they didn't. Someone saw Meng Yao working and decided to be honest about it and that simple decision is the catalyst for Meng Yao becoming Nie Mingjue's deputy.
Meng Yao can't just work hard to get results, others have to acknowledge that work. If they don't, it's as if he didn't do anything at all.
#i'm very proud of the phrase poor lil meowyao. i'm sure i'm not the first one to come up with it but i'm proud nonetheless.#mdzs#mdzs meta#nie mingjue#meng yao#anyway this isn't a nmj bashing post i think 'ok that's bad but don't do MURDER' is overall a pretty reasonable reaction#but the emotional disconnect is fun to ruminate on. I bet meng yao IS thinking about that moment while coming up with his fake-suicide plan#anyway i always laugh a litle whenever anyone wonder if meng yao looking a bit pitiful was all some master stategy to get nmj to like him#because like... no. no that would be a stupid plan and also involved way too many factors he couldn't control.#and also!! he was already doing something else to try and get nmj's attention. all of that fucking work!!#if you plan on getting nmj– guy famous for valuing merit and hard honest work– to like you what is more useful:#looking a bit like a sad little wet cat in case he comes across you? or. Working really hard and being more useful than everyone else?#ding ding ding it's the latter.#nmj is ALSO a bit weak for someone looking like a kitten left in the rain but that's not well-known at all and meng yao didn't know him yet#anyway the fact that that is his plan does mean he's very aware how much it hinges on other people not just lying and saying they did it.#i wonder what networking efforts lil heijan meng yao was doing. trying to make friends with all the other disciples.#walking the tightrope of being accomodating but not a doormat so people see you as someone to rely on rather than take advantage of.#as much as we know not everyone in the nie is as righteous as nmj it does seem like there is a culture of taking pride in your own work.#even the cultivators who bully him in the novel just seem think it's funny he's working so hard.#using someone else's actions to prop yourself up is kinda like admiting they're better than you. a wound to their pride if nothing else.
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*You’re starting to feel very sleepy... (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Sans#Papyrus#Mostly silliness and randoms but also a little two-panel for funsies ♪#Always with the miserable Gaster! Pre-void tho just when he had cracks in his face#Would you please let your friends heal you just once you mess of a skeleton - you're not going to let your sons do it so!#Angy Snas <3 I'm really happy with how that one turned out haha#He really has such a cute face! Even when he's mad!#It's the big eye sockets I think - his mouth is quite fun to draw emoting other than a smile too :)#So disheveled! Your shoulder's gonna get so cold and then you'll be even meaner! Lol#Various babybones sleeping positions <3 Sans up top exemplifying the cat pose#Initially it was supposed to be that one sleeping position kids do where they sleep all middle-scrunched but the rest splayed out?#Does anyone know what I'm talking about lol I used to sleep like that when I was a littley#He does look very cute tho <3 Skeleton loaf ♥#Papyrus starfishing haha - either rolled away while sleeping on the floor away from Sans or they're sleeping mismatched#Otherwise Sans would definitely be curled up in any of the many negative spaces lol#Maybe that last sleeping Sans is the matching one! Just lost the energy to get all the way up onto the cot haha#Laying on his back and kicking his feet up and finally just dozed off like that haha#More sleepies! You cannot escape them Papyrus!#Sans knocking out at a moment's notice and dragging Papyrus with him - started early! Just so comfy together#Gaster just ;/ at Papyrus complaining lol he wants to run around and play!#Gaster has a lot of work to do and it would be a lot easier if things were quiet for a little while let your brother lead naptime#I do love his whiny complaint haha ''YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I'M /SLEEPY/!!'' ''...Yes?'' ''NOOOOOOOOOOO'' Lol
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Oh god, they'll never know. I... I'll just have disappeared. And they'll always be waiting. Call them.
#dwedit#dwgifs#marthajonesedit#martha jones#freema agyeman#francine jones#*#*gifs#the way freema invented acting in this ep#i'm always rotating this scene around in my head#on one hand the writers made francine judge the doctor too quickly to be believable#so francine's reaction here comes across kind of callous#on the other hand martha's convo with francine feels so relatable#idk if it's the same for all children of colour but sometimes it's as if#your parents are much more concerned about your physical safety than your emotional wellbeing#martha was begging francine to just Talk to her#but she's so focused on tracking down the doctor to comfort her daughter when she's obviously upset#freema does such a great job of embodying both martha's grief and desperation over the situation#as well as her fierce love for her family#have i mentioned how much i adore this scene? no? well i do
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I thought I was done talking about Style in THK's episode 2, but jokes on me, no I'm not.
I keep thinking about Style and Bison's first interaction and how pure and sweet it was. In the middle of the mess that is this 4-way whirlwind of lies and deception, it felt like a refreshingly honest conversation between two people who are only accidentally lying to each other.
Style seems incredibly earnest when he tells Bison that Kant is "down bad" for him. It doesn't feel like Style is 'wingmanning' Kant here; or if he is, it isn't meant to be malicious or to mislead Bison. It feels like someone being friendly with his bff's crush and hoping that they can get along because he thinks this one's going to stick around.
Similarly, when Bison tells Style to go for Fadel for real, it feels very honest and earnest. Setting aside whatever games Bison is playing with Kant, Bison seems to genuinely want someone for his big brother, and not just so he can date who he wants or as a distraction.
It's also interesting how Style's protest is that he can't see himself actually gaining feelings for Fadel because in a way there's nothing to recommend Fadel to Style at this point. As far as Style is concerned, Fadel is arrogant and condescending, rude and ungrateful (after all, he did replace a bunch of parts in Fadel's car for free), a stick in the mud about his brother dating, and can't seem to take a joke.
We see the polite, pleasant and reasonable Fadel, but Style doesn't.
Which is why I've been obsessing over Style's expressions immediately after the conversation with Bison. Bison's parting insight is "He's rough on the outside, and on the inside," and I think he accidentally piqued Style's curiosity with that line. Because why does Bison still want his brother to have a "real" relationship, then? What makes Fadel worth loving, despite (what Style thinks is) nothing to recommend him?
Ugh I wish I knew how to make gifs because BLESS @airenyah FOR MAKING THESE GIFS!!! Dunk goes through a whole sequence of expressions here that suggests a shift happens in the way he's thinking of Fadel. There's a pensive and thoughtful look and then almost like, "Oh what the hell, might as well see where this goes" kind of amusement at the end. And I think the reason he has this shift is because he's realised that Bison clearly loves his brother and that must mean that there's more to Fadel then his initial impression of the man.
It's interesting that his next attempt at messing with Fadel actually invites Fadel to play along with it. It's so much tamer and more private than the previous attempts because he isn't actively trying to humiliate Fadel this time. And it works?? Fadel engages in the roleplay, indulges Style's ridiculousness, actually chops faster (whilst the most hysterical series of minute expressions play over Fadel's face <3). Perhaps this was Style testing the waters: can Fadel engage with something playful and not take everything way too seriously? Huh, turns out, he can!
The next time Style shows up around Fadel, he's circled back to that playful over-the-top flirting that characterised the garage scene. This is the first time in this episode that Style is actually flirting. Every other time was just to frustrate/humiliate Fadel but notice how he's actively trying to look attractive to Fadel now? He's putting all his best (ahem) assets on display, and poor Fadel has no real protection against this. And, oh, Style is loving this! He's gleefully lapping up every single time Fadel fails to completely hide that he's affected by him.
This, though. THIS precisely is the point I think Style decides that he really does want Fadel for himself. There's so much playing out over Style's face: the determination to push things further, the delighted surprise to see Fadel so rattled, the razor sharp focus, and then desire. Style has finally broken through Fadel's "roughness" and he loves it.
If that uncle hadn't walked in, I'm convinced Fadel would have let Style do anything he wanted, and I think Style knew that.
It's the first time Style immediately chases after Fadel when he walks away from him, and he's absolutely delighted when Fadel all but chokes him against the lockers because that means he still has Fadel within reach.
The whole conversation about "love at first sight" is breathtaking because it feels like Style is discovering what's going to make Fadel crack as he says it and realising just how much he wants this. And no, I don't think he's in love with Fadel yet (not by a LONG shot), but I think he realises that he wants Fadel to fall in love with him. This is such a shift from what he expressed in the diner to Bison. In the diner, there was no hope, no chance for this.
The kisses catch Style by surprise too: you can see that he's just reacting, pushing to see where Fadel will finally draw the line. Because Fadel kisses back in the first kiss and actually fails to push Style away for quite some time in the 2nd kiss (the camera purposely lingers on the way Fadel's hands hover over Style's waist without shoving him back). The third kiss is the point Fadel finally starts fighting, and in the immidate aftermath you can see Style watching so carefully again. And Fadel nearly kisses him again, you see the way Fadel's eyes drop to Style's lips, the way they both freeze and linger in the moment for that one second. The way Style registers that moment and it leaves Style shaken himself.
It's so interesting that this is how we leave Style in this episode (we only see Fadel's fantasy version of Style after this point). I've got two possible interpretations for this line:
Style possibly catches on that Fadel is more dangerous than he seems. Maybe just from vibes, maybe from something in the way Fadel threatened him that kicks off some kind of fearful instinct. This could be what makes Style start questioning if Kant told him the full story and lead to whatever scene it is where Style demands answers in the episode 3 preview.
Alternatively, perhaps Fadel is starting to become real to Style in ways he wasn't before. Fadel was almost a caricature of a man, one which Style didn't like very much before, and that made it easier to fool around with him. But this? This almost tortured man who clearly wants Style but can't seem to give into that desire? Something is going on and Style isn't sure it's worth the game to either of them anymore. Because maybe Style recognises that he's more affected than he should be. And that has implications that Style was not ready for.
#this is also secretly an appreciation post for Dunk's fucking stellar acting in this episode because taking all these screenshots really#made me aware of how quickly Style shifts through expressions but also how CLEAR they are??#Style is SO expressive - and not just in his eyes or lips; but the way he moves and tilts his head and body#and then there's the use of tone and inflection; the way Dunk DELIVERS his lines that communicates what Style is thinking/feeling too#there's SO MUCH going on in every single scene it makes my brain whirl when I try to parse it#and tbh I already noticed Dunk doing this in SIMM - esp in regard to using his VOICE to convey emotions the way#Dao had a lot of hurt and anger that would bleed through in crucial moments and Dunk was already very good at that#but I'm really loving how much of that is evident because Style is a much more expressive character with very high energy/intensity#and it allows Dunk to really flex and show that skill off <3#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#style sattawat#fadel#fadelstyle#dunk natachai#joong archen#joongdunk#rambles about shows i'm watching#thk meta#<my posts>
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