#I'm watching whatever actually live performances i can find and like

[idubildino]

dino is actually such an objectively solid vocalist and honestly in the like. upper ranks within the group overall

[bahrtofane]

soapy oh soapy

jude looses his lucky charm and looses his mind in the process

word count - 1.5K+

watch it - HAPPY ARPIL FOOLS. the most unserious fic to date ( jk theres one more coming )

p.s. -big shout out to my friends @aloejuicebr for fueling this madness u guys are real ones and even bigger shout to plooki @yayam26 for making soapy missing poster

-----

You end up forcing jude to do skin care with you after begging him for weeks because you just know you can work your magic and make him feel the best he’s ever felt. All you need is a night in. And time. Lots of time 

After some persuasion and begging, pouty lips and puppy eyes, he gives in. 

“Fine.” is all he says while you’re in his living room, legs over his watching a movie that you've long ignored in favor of bothering him. 

But you’re already giggling. Picking out a headband you want him to wear in your head. Pink care bear one it is. The night comes on a rainy day, he has a rare day off the next morning, so you want him to start it on a good note. 

You’re getting ready for bed, in your pjs, jumping about while you get your little baggie full of goodies out. 

“Here,” you hand him the headband,” put this on” pink care bear one just like you envisioned. 

He takes it, feeling the soft material while he hums, “what’s this for?”

“Keeps things out of your hair.” you smile, dragging him to his bathroom. You take about a hundred pictures, and he poses for you for each one. Giggling while you coach him into poses. You think you'll send a few to Jobe for good measure. 

You face the sink and think of a game plan. Eyeing the counter  

It’s here you first lay eyes on soapy. 

“Jude what the hell is that? "You grimace, looking at what looks like a dry stump of white something, sitting on its own little ceramic dish. 

Jude looks away, scratching the back of his neck, mumbling something under his breath. 

You swing your little kit on the sink counter, setting a hand on your hip,”what was that?” 

He sighs dramatically, putting his face in his hands,”it’s my good luck charm. soapy,” he wails. 

You snort, patting his back, “I'm sure he’s very uh lucky,” you give it a small pat. 

“No he is,” Jude brings his head up to face you, “ I know it. I've had him since before dortmund. “ he nods proudly. 

You grimace,”you’ve had a piece of soap for years?”

He only nods harder. 

“Okay jude. Whatever you say. “ 

“I am not getting rid of him,” he points a finger in your face. One that you gently move, pulling his hand into your own. 

“I didn't say get rid of him. Let’s get your skincare started, yeah?”

He nods, following you through the steps like a lost puppy. leaning down while you help him apply the creams and foams just right 

When it’s all set and done, he wiggles into bed happy as can be. Sighing deeply, “that was actually really nice. Thank you. “ 

peck! right on your nose. 

you laugh, “told you it would be nice. “ 

your next plan is to find a way to deal with soapy…

——-

Jude loses soapy. It becomes a whole fiasco. He can’t find him in the usual small little pocket in his duffel bag in the usual ziplock baggie. 

He’s frantic at his hotel, tearing his things apart, looking and relooking at the bottom of his suitcase. His jacket pockets, his pants pockets. 

He tries to think. Did he leave him in his bathroom? No. Can't be it. He remembers putting him inside the familiar zip lock baggie while getting the rest of his things ready. Where in the world did he go. 

His soapy. His poor soapy! How is he supposed to live in these conditions. He’s never. ever missed a single game without soapy. What is he supposed to do now? Loose?? There goes his good luck down the drain. Years of good performance is about to take a nosedive. 

When he’s set to do his routine face time with you pre game, you pick up on his sour mood. But he only brushes it off, blaming it on pre game nerves 

You don’t believe him, but don’t want to press

Jude pends 20 minutes locked inside the bathroom, head in his hands while he scolds himself. It’s a bar of soap he wants to scream, pull yourself together. But he can’t. Soapy has become more than just a silly little joke. He’s become attached to soapy, a part of his routine. He’d rather die than admit it out loud to anyone 

For now he sighs, smoothing his jersey down and getting ready to get on the pitch. 

——-

The only thing that’s been in his mind is getting back home and getting to the bottom of the mystery. Unfortunately for him, soapy is nowhere to be found in the bathroom. Not in the living room. The kitchen. The hallway. He thinks of hiring a cleaning team, but what is he supposed to say ? 

Oh hey guys clean my house and also be on the lookout for a dried out stick of white that looks like a finger haha. 

No. Absolutely not. 

He takes to his own devices and begins to tear apart his house in a desperate search for his beloved soapy. He spends the whole day on his hands and knees looking under places he didn’t even know his house had to begin with, squeezing under and into spaces he’s sure gonna regret tomorrow. 

It’s already dark out when he calls it quits. Nothing but a few bruises to show for it. 

He’s really lost him huh. 

——-

His behavior is soon picked up by teammates, coaches and staff. The usual cheery youthful Jude is replaced by a damp sluggish cranky one.

He’s silent at training, chewing the inside of his cheek while going through the familiar motions of each drill. 

Eduardo comes to him after they hit the showers, squeaky clean and ready to go home. 

“You good?”

Jude gives him a bashful nod, “yeah man. just a little worn out, don't worry.”

He gets a clap on the shoulder in response, and gives a tight lipped smile back. He’s gotta figure this out or it will start to affect more than just his mood. How stupid of him to let an old slice of a soap bar affect him so much. 

A little piece of him can guess why. Soapy is one of the very few stable things in his life. And perhaps the only stable physical thing. something to count on. Something to be able to rely on. Unchanging. 

But now that he’s gone and lost it ? jeez. 

——-

You show up to his house on a cloudy day, his favorite snacks under your arm. He greets you with a kiss, but you see the way his eyes droop and sag. What's wrong with your golden boy? 

He leads you to the living room where you make yourself at home. Plopping down on the couch and handing him his things. 

He takes them gingerly, setting them on the kitchen counter while he takes a seat across from you 

you frown, “Jude. What's wrong? “

He looks away, playing with his hands, knee bouncing. Okay what is going on that’s gotten him so worked up

“Baby…” you try, scooting closer to him. 

He screws his eyes shut, bawling his hands into fists, “I lost soapy,” 

oh. 

Your gaze softens, “You lost him? When?”

He sighs, cracking an eye open, when he sees you aren’t making fun of him he opens both, relaxing. 

“I don't know. when we played villareal away I couldn’t find him. Then i got back and tore this place up and still no luck.” arms falling into his lap. 

You place a hand on his knee. Gentle. Soft. 

“He couldn't have gotten far. I'm sure he’s somewhere obvious. “ 

“I guess,” he mumbles, leaning into your touch. 

You smile, letting him lean against you. He's so cute when he pouts. You like babying him anyway. The rest of the day is spent with his head in your lap while you press occasional kisses to his face, letting keeping up with the kardashians play in the background. 

When it’s time for you to leave, Jude whines, pouting and asking you to stay just a little more.

“It's already late jude, I would if I could you know that. “

He huffs, “I guess. “ 

You forgot about your bags laying on the kitchen counter, might as well put them away before you go. 

Jude gets up to help, sliding against the hardwood and meeting you in the kitchen

He grabs a chair from the island in the middle, bringing it to him and a little baggie falls from it. Is that what he thinks it is ? He picks it up faster than you can turn around and almost screams. He could cry tears of joy 

It’s soapy. 

You were right. It was right in front of him all along 

He holds up the bar for you to see and you smile, “see. told you. “

He nods, “yes you did,” kissing your lips as a thank you 

You hum, patting his head when you pull apart, “glad you found soapy.” 

Maybe soapy isn’t so bad after all. 

[h2llish]

⁀➷ ˖ may i interrupt?

notes ─── another fic for @cloudcountry 's event! rollo deserves it <3 perhaps this can be connected to my other fic but let's not worry about that.

ROLLO FLAMME ─── you'll always be there to drag him away from a dance he doesn't want.

warnings ♡ fluff, angst? takes place during the event, alludes to romantic, gender neutral, lowercase intended, reader is not mc, playful teasing

there's a certain tenseness to the way rollo glided along the floor, hands gripped by the heir of briar valley, as he led the student council president in a dance. perhaps it was only you who noticed (it was), the only one to eye the furrow of rollo's brow and the frown on his lips. you wondered what they were talking about to make him look so distressed.

perhaps you knew ─ after all it was only so many hours after the incident that spread across noble bell and the city. where flowers that resembled that of fire traveled across the ground and climbed up the arms of everyone around you. you were no different, falling unconscious as you could feel your power wither under the touch of the flowers. you remember it because you were far too focused on getting everyone else out of the dorms ─ of course you didn't succeed. but everything ended well, nonetheless.

you remember immediately going in search of rollo, hardly caring as the fatigue of your magic returning weighed at you. you were too worried about him to care about yourself, pushing past people who began to wake from the incident, and rushing out to the tower where you heard someone say he was. ─ he was okay, by the looks of it, tired and drained but nonetheless okay.

the students of night raven college who were with him said he helped stop the flowers ─ that he rushed to ring the bell after he realized what the flowers were. but you knew better, you knew rollo. and your gut told you they were lying ─ that whatever happened, was not the events they were telling you.

but you chose not to investigate ─ whether that was because you knew you wouldn't like what you would find out, or because you know that you wouldn't be surprised. but you do know that whatever it was, you don't think you'd do anything to make sure the real truth got out. rollo meant too much to you, you had been there for all his troubles and grief, and you wouldn't do anything to risk your friendship with him. even if that meant taking a lie to your face and living without knowing what actually happened (even if you had your suspicions).

"[name]?"

you paused, turning your attention away from the pair to look back at your peers and the students of night raven college. you'd stopped paying attention to the conversation they were having, your attention only on rollo and how uncomfortable he so obviously was dancing with the fae prince. you followed him across the floor with your stare, the background voices of those around you fading out the longer you watched.

you'd always followed him, sharpening your magical abilities to follow him to noble bell college with the intention of being at his side. you'd joined the student council so that you were always near, so that if he ever called for you, you'd be there. you were there when he struggled to grieve after the loss, and when he stayed awake into the late hours, sitting quietly in the council room and watching the flames dance in the fireplace. you were always right there.

─ except for right now, and you hated it.

"are you alright?" they had asked, and you had half a mind to ignore them and leave. but they were your peers, a part of the student council as much as you were, and you knew rollo always strove to perform a certain amount of control that not everyone had. perhaps he had too much of an effect on you, or perhaps it was just you doing everything to stay at his side, to always be there ─ as you too tried to keep that professionalism noble bell was said to be known for.

"i'm sorry," you smiled, polite as you bowed your head and chose to ignore their questions. "but i have something i need to do. excuse me."

perhaps a part of you simply didn't care for keeping a good look past excusing yourself, as you hardly gave anyone the chance to reply to your words before you were turning away and walking off. you didn't care for the people who littered the floor in pairs, waltzing to the music that filled your ears. you hardly batted an eye their way as your attention remained on the heir and council president. you managed to maneuver the pairs with a certain ease in your steps despite urgency that you hardly masked. (you didn't think malleus was a terrible individual, but you refused to leave rollo in a situation he didn't enjoy any longer. you'd promised yourself to always be there, after all.)

you made sure to announce your presence the moment you were within distance for them to hear, clearing your throat and putting on a smile that you'd long since mastered (polite, you told yourself, you had to remain polite). "i apologize," ─ a lie, and perhaps the fae knew that too, ─ "may i interrupt? you've taken up so much time of our student president, and i must admit, i'm jealous."

their gliding had come to a stop upon your arrival, and rollo pulled away from malleus as the heir turned you, and smiled, polite, and much more genuine than your own. he bowed, and you returned it as rollo moved to stand beside you, (perhaps relieved to finally stop dancing with him).

"of course," and he looked at rollo. you felt your curiosity pull at you as you glanced between them ─ and you asked yourself what could cause such a tenseness between them that held a certain (one-sided) disdain in the air. you knew rollo held contempt towards magic and mages, but this seemed different, like an event that carried on since the start of night raven's arrival.

"thank you for the dance, flamme." and then he looked back at you, "he's all yours."

"thank you," your smile remained, and you held out a hand towards rollo, turning your head just enough to keep your attention on him but watch as malleus turned away to leave, to return to his peers. "shall we dance, rollo?"

perhaps it was because it was you, rollo didn't protest, taking your hand with a polite nod, yet a glare remained burning into the back of malleus's head, practically seething. his disdain was so uncontrolled, so unlike rollo and the persona of a respectable man he'd built up since the two of you were twelve.

"if you keep glaring, your face will get stuck." a tease, just so his attention was on you (as much as yours was always on him). so he'd step away from the distaste of the dance he shared with the heir of briar valley. so that he'd release the way he held your shoulder in a grip that wrinkled your clothing.

it worked (of course it did, you know how to get his attention, you've had years before this to try), and his glare turned to you, yet the red behind it lacked in heat, and he relaxed his hand laced with yours and his nails no longer dug into your shoulder, threatening to rip the specially designed uniform. "i will not."

you grinned, and your nose wrinkled, "you're right, you face is already stuck like that." he scoffed, and you chuckled, pulling him along further into the crowd as you led him in a dance, just like malleus had done before you.

"you should thank me, you know," you said, leaning closer to him as you spoke, eyes squinting teasingly at him, ignoring the pairs of those dancing around you. "it's not every day i ask someone to dance with me."

"i suppose i'm lucky then," it was sarcastic, but he was returning your teasing in turn; just like he's always done, even if making conversation was the last thing he wanted to do (maybe because it was you, he didn't seem to mind).

"oh, most certainly." you snickered and rollo's ever present mask slipped just for a moment to roll his eyes at you, much to use to your antics you've always been known for, teasing and playful, just like when you were kids. (perhaps he thinks you were the only who hadn't changed after the incident ─ but if he thinks that, then he obviously didn't notice how much your life had begun to center around him. he wasn't the only one who lost someone that day. you too, loved his brother ─ your friend.)

you don't know how long you'd been dancing (because admittedly, you weren't entirely lying when you said you were jealous malleus had taken up so much of rollo's attention.) but he had long since relaxed, no longer tense as he had been when dancing with malleus. perhaps he was relieved, and maybe even knew your true reason in interrupting them ─ knowing you were there to save him from anymore interaction with someone he so loathed.

you pulled him with you as you leaned back, and smiled, proud, "i expect to be repaid for my generosity in pastries by the way."

"i owe you now?" he clicked his tongue.

"of course, my presence is a reward in itself, you should be thankful i'm only asking for pastries for allowing you this dance." ─ you were kidding, of course you were, he knew that. but it didn't matter how many times you would poke and tease, telling him to buy you pastries for everything you did (your sweet tooth was something that hadn't changed about you), because he always did. even when you simply just joined him for his errands after school to fetch his favorite stationary; perhaps it was his way of thinking you for staying, for being there when no one else would.

he sighed, although it lacked any real annoyance, you could tell, "shall we stop by your favorite bakery tomorrow then?" ─ and your heart fluttered knowing he remembered such a detail; yet you ignored it.

"lovely idea, my dear rollo!" you giggled, and he rolled his eyes again.

─ yes, this was much better than what he went through with his previous dance partner.

and hopefully he knows, you'd always be there to save him from a dance he doesn't want.

reader is the knight in shining armor rollo everyone needs

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[pain-in-the-butler]

Out of curiosity…if Ono is your third fav Seb. What’s your Offical Sebastian Ranking™️?

Just as with the ask about the Anime Expo panel, it's fortunate for me that someone reached out, because I was thinking of making this a post on my own eventually someday anyway. What follows might be more information on my opinions of Sebastian than you care to have, so apologies in advance. Let's count down from worst to best:

6. Hiro Mizushima from Black Butler (2014)

There's a reason no one talks about this movie. It's because it sucks, and somehow I feel I can't really blame Mizushima for his performance, but... it is still a mixture of weird and unmemorable. That hairstyle does him no favors either, but maybe the fact that I find him a little bit frightening to look at should give him points rather than detract them. Off-screen, he looks like a completely normal man; somehow the film's efforts to make him a sexy butler were unfortunately funneled into making him unnerving and unappealing. And the movie is two entire hours long.

There's a lot I've deleted from my memory about the Black Butler live action film, but that lack of memory seems a sign that he should sit in dead last. Whether he's acting like a total weirdo or actually successfully impressing me, Sebastian should never be a forgettable character, and all I can think when I consider Mizushima's performance is that I never need to see it again.

5. Yuya Matsushita from That Butler, Friendship, The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World, and the first run of Lycoris that Blazes the Earth

I know some people may find this placement to be blasphemous, but honestly, the only thing I really like about Yuya's Sebastian is his singing voice, and even then I'm not that wild about it. It's been a few years since I watched TMBDITW, so it's not super crisp in my mind, but I will give him some recognition as an early Sebastian who still had little material to work with. He probably had to do some of his own legwork to adapt the character to the stage and to the original stories he was expected to act in. That can't be easy, and it makes sense that his Sebastian would be one that had to stand somewhat independent from the canon. I also appreciate that he is playing Sebastian with purpose behind his actions and not a sexyman who just serves whatever convenient purpose the narrative dictates, like Mizushima's Seb.

With that caveat out of the way, I still don't like his Sebastian portrayal. It's clear Yuya really drummed up the "I'm no one but I can become anyone" aspect of Sebastian. He can invent personas that suit the situation, like when he decides to seduce Undertaker, but as soon as the problem is solved, he reverts back to being robotic and unsmiling. You get the feeling that he's rather cold and calculating and that he is only interested in doing things that will earn him Ciel's soul. I didn't watch with subtitles, so perhaps that evaluation is misplaced, but his mannerisms dictated that energy to me.

Also, I can't get behind the sort of sexual and romantic tones that sometimes felt present, especially when real children were involved. It will always taint his work for me. There's one song where he and Ciel look at each other the entire time and it's three and a half minutes long but it felt like a year. I wanted to crawl out of my skin because it was so horrifically awkward. Stick this man in fifth.

4. Toshiki Tateishi from The Public School's Secret

So I went into this musical fully prepared to hate Toshiki's performance, considering the act he was following, and... I thought it was actually pretty decent. When I think of Sebastian in the Weston arc, I think of the "sexy professor" angle Yana kept trying to push, and I was worried Toshiki would play into that, especially considering Ciel was being portrayed by a legal adult onstage for the first time. I was pleasantly surprised! That's not what happened at all.

Though likely unintended, I would say Toshiki gives off a rather maternal vibe, behaving more like Seb does in memes: kind of silly, kind of fussy, an overworked single mother who cares for her boy. Toshiki's Sebastian was very attentive of Ciel. He was frequently pleased with his kid's impish nature and didn't seem that annoyed to be taking on extra tasks, only complaining lightly, "Even though I have things to do too!" at the end of the chores song. When Ciel came up with a plan to foil Maurice, Toshiki seemed excited to praise him and gratified to help. He was like Sebastian Lite, only a bit insidious at times, mainly the ever-attentive helper.

To me, it's the first time one of the musicals has made Sebastian feel like a supporting character rather than the driving force behind the story. I prefer when he and Ciel are both treated evenly as protagonists, but I hate it when it's All About Him. I think Toshiki's performance has a good heart and he made me laugh at times. He's not quite canon Sebastian, but I like him. I trust him not to eat the sonboy just yet. Mostly.

3. Daisuke Ono from the Japanese dub of the anime

Daisuke Ono was a part of my first experience with Black Butler, so there's something about his voice that feels like it's just right for Sebastian. And it kind of is. It's a really flexible voice, and one that is clearly giving a performance when you listen to him. He also infuses his dialogue with what sounds to me like inherent smugness, which I think suits Sebastian perfectly. Ono's performance is the most self-satisfied in nature. It makes you think of a well-fed cat licking its chops while it considers its next meal.

His voice is not sexy to me, but I can see why people find it to be. At the same time, Ono isn't afraid to give Sebastian different inflections, even ones that some might consider too embarrassing or OOC for Seb. He's a veteran voice actor and he knows how to do whatever is requested of him. Sebastian treats his career just the same: he too will do essentially whatever Ciel requires. I think Ono is a natural match is what I'm saying, especially having now seen him in person and observing the way he works a crowd so effortlessly.

All that said... Ono's Sebastian is perfect. I don't mean that as a compliment: I mean he's too lacking in flaws. Sure, he has the big flaw (okay with killing a child) but he isn't really giving "silly idiot." Ono's Sebastian is the one the girlies write about in their self-insert fiction. And for the first two seasons, that's kind of who he was supposed to be, so fine. But even when he has silly or idiotic moments, it doesn't feel quite authentic, if that makes sense? I think to Ono, Sebastian's stupid mistakes are just a fluke, quickly corrected. It doesn't feel like they're a fundamental part of who his Sebastian is.

If you consider this nitpicking, you're right! The next two Sebastians are just that good. I still consider Daisuke Ono to be a very talented and accurately-portrayed Sebastian.

2. J. Michael Tatum from the English dub of the anime

While it's possible that I pick up on more nuance in Tatum's performance because he's the only one here who speaks the same language as me, how fortunate we are to have him doing Seb's English voice. He might not actually have a real British accent, but he's just too charming not to love. To me, he has all the vocal command of Ono but is more candid in his delivery. Ono may be Sebastian the perfectionist and Sebastian the performer, but Tatum is Sebastian the butler, well settled and confident in his human role.

I really appreciate the ways you can hear Tatum's voice change notably depending on Sebastian's emotions. This is especially prominent in Book of Atlantic during the flashback sequences: an annoyed Sebastian is an entirely different sounding dude than when he's being cunning, and again when he's being subservient. And he really does have this very silky, ASMR-ass way of speaking that suits Sebastian to a T. It's inherently convincing.

And more to my own interests, Tatum's voice for Sebastian has a really paternal nature to it, and I like that. I think it adds to the complexity of Sebastian's role in Ciel's life when you can hear this caring quality in the voice of a demon that will one day kill the child he works for. He can also be snipped and punctual, and then he can be gentle and reassuring, all in the same scene. And he can be scary too... and I'm super looking forward to hearing how this plays out during season 5.

To compare him to Ono again, I think Tatum knows Sebastian can be an idiot at times, but that quality still takes a backseat to the suaveness. He's almost perfect. And I probably would even say he is perfect, if we hadn't seen perfection itself. As he is, I think Tatum is an excellent voice actor for Sebastian, and I'm grateful that we have him in the position that we do.

1. Yuta Furukawa from the second run of Lycoris that Blazes the Earth, Noah's Ark Circus, and Tango on the Campania

Yuta Furukawa. What a legend. What an icon. This is where I would say "he isn't just playing Sebastian, he is Sebastian," but Furukawa is even more than that. He's what Sebastian should be. And that's not just me being rude to Yana. Yana has flat-out said that Yuta knows Sebastian better than she does herself. She's right.

If you have yet to see Yuta perform, then congratulations: you're in for a treat. What I wouldn't give to forget my first watch of Tango on the Campania and relive that magic all over again. Yuta knows who Sebastian is with every fiber of his being. And the fact that you see him over the course of three plays means you get to witness for yourself how his Sebastian goes from being a smirking demon who lives to impress, to a creature who understands fear, hardship, and pain. And yet you still wonder: is he really learning and growing after all? Or am I too being tricked by this suave being who appears to be emotionally moved?

I'm also proud to report that Yuta plays Sebastian as a true idiot. He says silly things, he behaves in silly ways! He's embarrassing enough to make Ciel roll his eyes, he uses his brawn before his brain, and he's often surprised enough to gasp. He's not afraid to look impressed or astounded or even frightened: he wears his emotions on his sleeves, but he can hide them just as quickly. This Sebastian lives for attention from humans, but what he loves even more is learning from them — perhaps so he can become a better hunter, perhaps so he can become a better scholar. He leaves you wondering which in the most intriguing way.

And I may be biased, but Yuta to me is the most paternal of all the Sebastians. Whether or not a fatherly nature is intended, I'm at least happy to report that his Sebastian is not one romantically inclined towards Ciel. His coworker is an actual child, so there's no reason that should be an acceptable angle anyway, but it really shows in all the little ways he primps at and supports Ciel on-stage. His rapport with Reo is especially adorable and shines through in their every scene.

Not to mention, he's so endlessly entertaining to watch. He has legs for days and he can fuckin groove. He may be playing a demon but he has the voice of an angel. If I called him to my house, he'd probably fix my leaky shower. What can't this gift of a man do??

I could literally go on and on and on for paragraphs. Yana is just the same. We all love Yuta Furukawa, the only Sebastian who is more Sebastian than Sebastian and probably the best thing, in my humble opinion, to come out of the Kuroshitsuji franchise. Thank you, based Yunbastian. We did nothing to deserve you.

[jumpingjoltiks]

okay so I knoww that the sugar baby talk won the poll, but I'm dying to hear about Emmet's second date. can you please please please post about it anyway, even if its super short? 🙏 I want to smooch him in the ferris wheel

Don't we all, Anon?

This is a little short, and very quickly written, but I hope it satisfies.

Second Chances

Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Emmet x Reader (GN)

Warnings: None, just fluff 🤍

~~~

When you tell him on the way to the park that you're a little afraid of riding roller coasters, he offers to let you hold his hand through it. It nearly envelops yours. It's big and warm and comforting - slightly calloused from the hard work of Pokemon care and battling. You find you're not so scared while holding his hand. You spend the rest of the evening holding it and he definitely doesn't complain. He reaches for you about as often as you reach for him.

He lets you play as many of those rigged carnival games as you want too! Emmet's been to the park many times, so by this point he knows which games are rigged and which you have the best chance of winning. He also has a competitive streak, so you'll often end up at two-player games. Even if he does win, he'll still let you pick out and keep the prize.

"That big Joltik plush, please!"

"Verrrry cute. You'll have to share custody with me though."

After games, you both share some faire food together, picking out funnel cakes or fried cookies or whatever else terribly unhealthy but absurdly delicious you want. You'll get powdered sugar all over your shirt, and he'll laugh and say you should wear white more often.

At the end of the day, you end up in the Ferris wheel together while the fireworks go off.

This evening has been so nice. All the anxieties building over the course of the afternoon have melted away with the fun that you've had together. In the back of your mind, you know this is steering dangerously close to a real, actual date - so different from the parties you've attended as their fake partner. No formalities, no performing, no worrying if this night will be "good enough" to keep you around for next time. Tonight, it's just you and Emmet.

He's sitting next to you in the compartment, lit by the colorful flashes of fireworks all around you. His hat is off and he's smiling out at the lights of the city. He always smiles, but this is different. When he turns to look at you, there's a true warmth to his expression you've rarely ever seen. He looks beautiful.

You have a terrible urge to reach up and kiss him, which will totally make you freak out once you get home. But that's a problem for future you. Right now, you want to enjoy this moment without thinking about what it could mean. You cuddle under his arm and watch the show together, holding hands the whole time.

~~~

It's a little embarrassing for Emmet to walk you back to your dingy apartment. Even if he isn't coming inside, you're sure it's a long way off from what he's used to. The building is a bit run down and the grounds aren't clean or well kept. You try to say that he can just send you off in a taxi ("Noooope! The subway is much more efficient. I should know."), but he wants to make sure you get there safely, so he ends up escorting you.

It's sweet, in a chivalrous, old fashioned sort of way. You feel the urge to kiss him rise up in you once more, but before you dare to, you duck through the door with a goodbye and the promise of seeing him again soon.

Now that Emmet knows where you live, he finds himself a little concerned about it. You're not living on the dangerous side of town, but you're not exactly living "well" either. Your apartment is obviously small, even from the outside, and things don't seem well-maintained. If it's like that from the outside, he's deeply concerned about what's hiding on the inside. He wants to barge in and inspect things for himself (you wouldn't mind, right? Just pretend he's not even there!), but Ingo calling on his x-transceiver stops him.

Going in will have to wait. He'll discuss what he's learned tonight with Ingo. Besides, the twins are overdue to have a verrrrry important discussion with you anyway.

What's one more item on the agenda?

[reidfucker]

two left feet

dr. spencer reid knows how to dance. keyword, knows how to — not that he's any good at actually, physically performing it.

or dr. spencer reid asks you to waltz with him.

an itty bitty reid drabble as i try to familiarize myself with tumblr. no beta or second thoughts at all !!! i typed all of this out experimentally. (update: edited it a tad :–D)

oh, and spencer is a trans man. it's not explicitly stated or dwelt upon, but i hope you know.

once reid gets into something, he gets into it. lately, he's been reading up on dancing: in particular, the waltz.

in his silently agreed on corner of the couch, with his feet in your lap as you sat beside him. you see him reading the waltz book, whatever that entailed.

it wasn't uncommon for spencer to be interested by things he completely hadn't dabbled in the past. he usually accumulated facts on a multitude of topics, storing each trinket of knowledge for later use. though, he hardly ever applied those skills after getting familiar with them.

this time, he closes the book, thinking to himself. you can't help but giggle to yourself and wonder, what is so thought-provoking about the waltz? but reid finds something to ponder on even in the most mundane things, so there's no need to question.

"hm." reid hums, getting your attention.

"spence?" you can visibly see his train of thought derail.

"oh– um– i was just wondering if..." he considers his words, "i was just going to ask if you'd like to dance with me."

you grin, "aw, of course. who am i to decline you?"

"um... i'm no good yet. but hey, what's learning without trying?" he gives a shy smile, getting on his feet pushing up his reading glasses, instead of taking them off. you told him he looked cute in glasses, and he'd look cute nonetheless, but you noticed he wears them more often now.

"what songs go well with the dance you have in mind?" you say, browsing through your cd collection.

"would it be cliché if i said 'cant help falling in love' by elvis presley?" spencer stands slightly behind you, sort of waiting for you.

"yeah... very cliché. but it's okay, i'll play it anyway." you can't help but grin at how anxious he is about nearly everything.

"well, it's because my mother loves that song. well, used to, now she can hardly remember things."

you turn to him once the cd is in place, "you don't need to explain yourself to me, spencer. i like the song." you reassure him, "now... shall we dance?" you hold a hand out.

spencer gladly takes your hand, gladly taking charge. you've never danced before, and it's evident that spencer hasn't either, but strangely, you feel like the ceramic couples spinning together inside a music box.

he closes his eyes, following the rhythm, visualizing the images from the textbook.

what a mind, you think. it would be nice to live inside his brain: to know every thought before it's fully processed, to see what images flash through his mind, to watch the connections between lines from books and quotes an unsub dropped.

on the other hand, you don't know what you're doing. spencer's eyes flutter open and closed every once in a while and he oh-so-softly laughs whenever he commits a mistake. you consider kissing him, but you don't want to interrupt this brilliant mind at work.

once he's comfortable enough with the pace, he leans his forehead on your shoulder, transitioning into slow dancing. you wrap your arms around his waist, and you just melt together.

rocking you back and forth just in time with the rhythm, he whispers in your ear, "you know, waltzing was considered... scandalous back in the day. couples danced in what they called 'closed position,' they were practically, uh, pelvis to pelvis."

you chuckle, giving him a nod. he feels you nod and takes it as a sign he's good to continue.

"yeah, up until the waltzes of strauss, it was deemed inappropriate. i get that, 'the blue danube' is such a beautiful song, it's hard to pass up the opportunity to... y'know..."

reid rambles on, whispering to you all throughout, as if he were professing his love for you. and in his own little way, you knew he was.

he takes a few (many) awkwardly timed steps, and even you can admit your bodies don't flow together seamlessly. but really, it isn't half-bad.

[starseneyes]

Loser Siblings - Morgan + Sasha - Nobody Wants This

First off, I do not condone or support infidelity. I actually have a big problem with it. I've rated films a full star down for infidelity before.

But the dynamic between these two and how it's written and performed is gorgeous. I don't get to watch a lot of television these days (surgeries, and work drama, and life stuff, oh, my!), so this was my introduction to both Timothy Simons and Justine Lupe.

They're both phenomenal actors, and I'm excited to see what they do with their material in S2 (just saw the renewal! Huzzah!!) especially after seeing how deftly and hilariously they handled S1.

Not gonna spoil anything before we get past the "Keep Reading" barrier, but I really wanted to do a breakdown of the Loser Sibling chemistry, the writing, the framing, and the weird little moments of symmetry that may—or may not be—intentional.

SPOILER ALERT: Yes, I am going to talk about the show in its entirety in detail. You are forewarned. Also, no judgement if you want to take a bathroom break first or just save this to your phone to read later. I have a lot to say.

Alright, everybody ready to dive into this tale of toeing the line on infidelity? Yeah, let's dive in.

"Is Esther cheating on me? Whatever, I'll stay with her."

This says so much about his psyche. From moment one, he thinks that he is not worthy of loyalty in a partner.

He would be unsurprised to find out his wife is cheating on him. And he is so resigned to that fact, that he would be willing to stay with her if she did.

Now, we all know that sentiment absolutely does not go both ways (not that it should), but it's a little heartbreaking to get this very early glimpse into how little Sasha values himself.

And, of course, these early scenes are designed to establish the relationships. That's why Morgan had to mention their mother to Joanne while at the ATM, and why Noah has to find some way to show he and Sasha are brothers.

But in these little moments of necessary exposition strung in as dialogue, we get to know our characters.

"You have to stop letting Mom cut your hair." "Is somebody jealous? I just don't look like myself when she doesn't cut it."

Identity is a big thing. How we see ourselves. How we see ourselves compared to others. How we interpret others see us. We've established that Sasha's mother is a big part of his identity.

"Sash, I tried to convince Esther to come over, but, you know, I lost her as soon as I said we were watching the game." "Oh, that makes sense."

We see right here that Sasha is unfazed that Esther doesn't want to join. And, honestly, husbands and wives don't need to be joined at the hip.

My husband loves horror. While I can do a good thriller, I'm not a horror girlie, in general. So, I send him on dates with other friends (male and female) to see horror movies.

We're completely comfortable with this arrangement. So, I'm not going to judge Esther for not wanting to be there to watch a game.

And we set up the dynamic that Sasha is used to doing things without his wife. It's not bad or good, just a part of the story.

"Why do we do this every year?" "Because some divorces are meant to be celebrated." "Like yours!"

And now we know a little bit more about Morgan. Now, we don't know a lot about this marriage, but we do know that her mom was glad when it was over, and Morgan seems miffed by her glee.

"Should we grab your sister? Or does that not matter." "She's right here with me." "Hi. I matter."

Right here. Right from the beginning we see that Joanne is seen as the decision maker, as the person who matters. And there's Morgan who is literally one half of the show having to stick up for herself.

The other thing that really stands out in this scene is that Kristen Bell and Justine Lupe crush it as sisterly chemistry.

It was there in the earlier scenes, but seeing them in the family dynamic, and then on the phone at the end, you really feel like this bond is lived-in and settled. And that is all a testament to the performances of these two phenoms.

"No, I'm coming with you!" "Fine! Just don't tell Esther." "I'm not gonna tell Esther."

This exchange tells us a lot about these two. First off, Sasha just invited himself to be the third wheel on a date. At this point, he knows a cute, tiny, blonde girl showed up and is now outside waiting for his brother.

He has no idea he is going to meet another cute blonde girl when he heads outside. He really invited himself to be the third wheel on a date, and Noah just said, "Fine".

And my heart kinda aches for Sasha because he really just wants to get out of the house and be around people. This is only episode two, but for those of us who've seen the whole series, this guy really doesn't go much of anywhere without his brother.

Like, they have their friends they play basketball with, but other than that, he spends a lot of time alone.

Also, as much as the scene before cements Morgan and Joanne, this one locks in Noah and Sasha. They really feel like siblings who are used to taking care of each other, putting up with each other, and trusting the hell out of each other. Adam Brody and Timothy Simons knock it out of the park.

Holy shit, this show has no weak links.

"What are you doing? What is happening? Why is he getting in the car?"

It's ridiculous, but this is peak romcom, folks. It's a misunderstanding. He didn't notice the meaning behind Morgan's "we" and he's committed to the night.

Some meet cutes are sweet. Some are funny. Some annoy the shit out of both parties. In this case, only one half is annoyed, but it's still pretty damn funny.

"Are these all sweaters?" "Can you please not touch my stuff?" "It's kind of hard not to. There's so much of it... I'll just hold onto these."

Something about this is so... Sasha. Like, he has inserted himself into the night and their lives. But he is also willing to hold onto her sweaters so they don't get smashed.

Like, it's the dichotomy of his awkwardness and social blindness combined with his inborn desire to be helpful.

Also, Sasha and Morgan are passing something back and forth in the car that I can't quite make out. It almost looks like they're passing her phone back and forth, but the dialogue doesn't match. Makes me wonder if the dialogue was ADR'd later to be something different than what it was originally.

Yes, I'm that nerd. But I also spent part of my childhood in booths doing voice over replacement for Anime and then commercials. So, my brain works this way.

"Okay, so we're going?"

And even though she's annoyed by "the brother", and she came with the intent of rescuing her sister, she's willing to go along with the night. Best wingwoman ever.

Sasha has already settled in behind Joanne, but Noah makes him scoot over so he's behind Morgan. And, thus, the romcom double date begins.

Oh, yes, this is absolutely a double date. It doesn't go particularly well for Sasha. But as far as Morgan is concerned, she is playing wingwoman to her sister and the Rabbi while she has to deal with the annoying brother who wants to glom onto her.

To be clear—Morgan honestly believed Sasha wants to get with her. And she is so annoyed by him and his presumptive behavior that she is immediately turned off by him. She isn't open to even considering him because of it.

Now, we—the audience—know that Sasha is married and inserted himself as a third wheel on a date. And, yo, Sasha, not cool. But, at the same time, he simply is enjoying being out with people instead of home in his basement alone.

"The brother is brutal. Ogre emoji. Vomit emoji."

Morgan and Joanne are in panic mode trying to get the phone to stop talking, but Sasha and Noah are pretty chill, honestly. Sasha even mouths, "Is that me?" to which Noah grimaces.

Seconds ago, Sasha was annoying Noah. Now, they're on the same team ready to gang up on the ladies for the mishap.

It's mostly playful and shows their dynamic in full swing. It even takes a second for Joanne to realize the brothers are torturing the sisters for fun and aren't even offended.

At the bar, Sasha hands everyone their drinks, and the four of them are standing in pairs, again. Now, Sasha knows he's the uninvited third wheel, so he is going to let his brother be nearest the girl he's interested in. But Morgan still thinks this guy is hitting on her.

"I've got this. I'm independently wealthy 'cause my family's rich."

Morgan thinks he's trying to impress her, but he really is just mis-speaking, which he is prone to do when he is excited.

It's another place where she is misreading the situation because she's convinced he wants to hit on her and definitely wants to sleep with her.

"What about 'Slutty Shiksas'?" "Ooh, now I'm listening."

It's the first time she looks up at him with a smile. And it's brief, because she and her sister are having a tiff, but that's the first time she looked at him with anything other than disgust or annoyance.

"No, no, no. Don't just leave me stranded with him!" "A lot of tension between you guys." "No, this isn't happening."

He tries to sit down and be conversational with her, but she walks away. Again, it's the misunderstanding. She thinks he's trying to hit on her and he is so not her type.

He just wants to chat. He wants to help. It's part of his DNA.

"Oh, we're going outside? Okay."

He really doesn't understand. Because he would never think of hitting on her, and he thinks his status as "married" is established.

"You a Swiftie?" "No. Just pretending to look at songs so we don't have to talk. I mean, didn't you go to high school? Our friends are hooking up. Be cool." "Listen, I know I have a thing about me that makes people want to elbow me in the jaw." "Yeah."

Up until this moment, she still thinks he is hitting on her. She still thinks she is warding off unwanted advances. But I do think she appreciates that he at least seems a tiny bit self-aware.

"My wife says it's just-" "Wait, I'm sorry. You're married?!" "Yeah." "God, you have, like, no husband energy at all. That's scary." "I'm wearing a wedding ring." "Yeah, well I haven't been looking at you."

Sasha tries not to be offended. Because, honestly, he is tough to offend. But something in him keeps pushing for the tiniest connection as he lists off Taylor Swift albums.

"Is somebody's mom here?"

And, right there, we have the dynamic of Sasha and Esther set up. And as soon as Sasha says it's his wife, notice how Morgan backs away from him.

Now, this could just be a director's choice for the framing so Joanne and Noah can stand between them, but it also feels like Morgan subconsciously does not want to be associated with whatever is going on with Sasha and his wife.

"It's a pleasure."

He says it to Morgan. Not to Joanne. He barely looks at Joanne as he leaves. But he does look to Morgan. She keeps her eyes down, not making eye-contact. But she does watch after he walks away.

"Rebecca knows about her." "What's there to know?" "Oh, just that you brought her to Temple and stood, like, weirdly close to her."

Remember this. Because everyone paying attention to Joanne and Noah noticed they stood close to one another, right? This'll come back in the Season Finale, but not in relation to Noah and Joanne.

No, in that Season Finale our Loser Siblings are way too cozy for "just friends" at his family event. But we'll get to that later.

"And you, Esther, allowing Sasha to out with them last night? She has a sister, you know." "Oh, I saw the sister. Not worried!" "I mean, she was clearly into me, but obviously I would never-"

There is so much going on here. First off, I feel bad for Esther because you can clearly see she's been delegated the role of her husband's keeper. She is trying to live up to Bina's expectation.

Sasha is self-aware enough to know that he was getting under Morgan's skin more than anything at the bar, but maybe not self aware enough to realize he was on a double date.

Also, we see Sasha behind Esther mouthing and waving his hands to let his little brother know he didn't sell him out. This positioning is so representative of their relationship.

"What he is doing here is throwing away a relationship with literally the perfect woman."

Projecting much, Esther? If she's so perfect, you marry her! I think you'd be a happier person.

"Breaking up the family? What the fuck. I'm so sorry, man."

Sasha already warned Noah that he was having to play both sides to try to protect his brother, but also protect himself.

We've seen it in his interactions with both families—Sasha tries to redirect and shield his little brother. He wants to help.

But he also isn't standing up to his wife, here. He's letting her steamroll his brother. And you can tell he doesn't like it, but he doesn't know how to fight it.

"...Joanne's more than fun."

I love this framing. So often in life, people try to define us by one thing. You can only be one thing and that's it. You can be "serious" or "Fun". You can be "Good" or "bad".

But life is made up of grey areas in varying shades that are far more interesting and realistic than those tiny, monolithic boxes in which people want to stuff us.

We can be more than one thing. We are more than one thing. And I think this is one of those things that this show really nails.

"We love fun. But do we end up with fun?" "Yeah, have you met Esther? She's not fun. That's why I married her."

This is telling. Yes, he loves her. He does! He's loyal and dedicated and obedient (for the most part). But he thinks that the way his parents raised him to think is the way it has to be.

That's the whole premise of Noah and Joanne rocking the boat—they're subverting every expectation. Morgan thinks her sister is losing her mind. Sasha thinks his brother is hoping for too much.

They're all baked into the expectations of life that have been foisted upon them.

And, to bring us back to our Loser Siblings, they are not what the other expected, either.

Morgan expects guys who meet her expectations of the world, who meet her "type". Sasha expects to be content in his marriage no matter what, to never be excited about another woman in any way.

And that's honestly why my brain puts Esther and Rebecca together—because Esther would battle against her own self to meet the expectations of those around her because she thinks if she follows that blueprint she will have a good life.

At the end, I'd like to see Esther just as happy as everyone else—no longer trying to fit in a box, but allowing herself to flourish.

I feel like we see the first touches of her rebellion at the Bat Mitzvah when she helps Miriam cut her dress. Esther is on her own path of self-discovery.

But, I'm skipping ahead, again...

"I just thought we missed our regularly scheduled Wednesday sex night-"

Hold the phone. They have a regularly scheduled sex night!? I have three young children with varying social calendars, but we don't have any bloody scheduled sex nights!

I feel like this was Esther's idea, and Sasha went with it... even though that guy would love more than once-a-week conjugal visits in his own home.

We transition from Sasha getting none to Morgan watching her sister getting ready for some.

I love that we go from Morgan on the left side of the bed to Sasha on the left side of the bed. It's giving me real flashbacks to Three to Tango in a sweet way.

If these two ever get together, that'll be something they have to compromise on—who gets the left side.

"You just need help... someone to help... oh no, that someone is me. Are you sure you want that?"

This actually breaks my heart a bit. Because while he shakes off the loser siblings label as inevitable but not unbearable, we get a peek into his psyche, here.

He knows his daughter needs help. He's the only help available. But he still worries he's not good enough.

"Do you wanna hang out here with me? Cuddle up and watch Mission Impossible?"

This takes me back to episode 2 when Noah and Sasha are heading out of the Temple. Sasha invites Noah to come back to his place to hang out, but when he realizes his brother is going out, he begs to tag along.

Throughout the entirety of the season, we get a sense of just how isolated Sasha is. His wife is always off with her best friend. He has the basketball guys, but that's about it, and they don't seem all that close.

And it's tougher on the Morgan side. She hangs out with her sister and shared friends only once at the gym. So, we don't really have a good scope of her social circle beyond her dates.

Hopefully season 2 will give us more to chew on for Morgan's social circle...

"Oh. I have to let you know before anything happens. I think I'm in a relationship with a teenage boy I met on the internet." "Oh, does he know about me?"

And this is why she would never think he would hide anything real from her. Because this is stupid, ridiculous shit and he still told her about it.

But, remember, at this point in the series, he has seen Morgan once on their not-double-date.

"This is just annoying because I can't miss my romantic weekend, but I really can't miss this dinner because clearly Morgan can't do it alone."

And here we have the words that have been beaten into her head over and over. Where Sasha knows that he isn't helpful or wanted (not good enough), Morgan has been told she isn't capable (not good enough).

"We're just in that, like, have to spend every single second together stage." "Yeah, Esther and I are there, too. More of a legal thing, though."

It's so sterile when he talks about Esther. Not in a derogatory way, but truly these are two people who are in a routine that isn't exciting or engaging. And they've both accepted that this is just the way it is.

For some people, a routine like that is comforting. For some, it's suffocating. And I get the impression that Esther is all about organizing and planning while Sasha would like to be a bit more free.

Now, this can work in the real world. But as the only non-ADHD member of my 5 person family, I can tell you it takes a lot of work and communication.

"You're great with powerful guys." "No, he's married." "Fuck!"

And this is where my whole "no married" theory with Morgan comes from. She's a gal who is confident in her sexuality, down for a hookup, but we also know that she was once in a committed, married relationship.

And everything in this show gives me the impression she doesn't fuck with married guys.

"Morgan, you cannot handle the entire podcast decision by-"

And, there it is, again. "You can't".

"Sasha can let her into my place. I'll text him."

So, at this point we know that Sasha and Morgan haven't exchanged numbers. I mean, when would they have done it, right? When he was rushing out to the car so his wife would stop honking and screaming?

But my bet is that this next scene is where they exchange numbers. And from his point of view, it's a completely practical thing—Morgan can't decide if she should take the laptop with her or leave it there (since Joanne will be returning to Noah's and it would be an extra trip to get it back from Morgan), and Sasha offers his number so she can text him if she needs to get back in.

Like, it is totally something I can see him doing. And then he has her text him right then so she's in his phone because he likes to fuck with scammers. I think that would charm her, honestly, and so she gives him her number... for practical purposes, of course.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Thank you. Thank you. Oh my God."

Morgan is so overwhelmed that she forgets to be snarky with Sasha. He does this little hand flip when he hands her things (check out the drink in the season finale), but it caught my eye immediately here. I just thought it was a fun quirk.

As she steps past him to the couch, his brow furrows as he listens to her.

"You know, I've got a guy who could wipe that in, like, an hour."

Where Sasha is afraid to offer his daughter help, and doesn't even attempt to offer his wife help, he is open with Morgan.

There's a selflessness she brings out in him, even here. He genuinely wants to help, and he doesn't think she'll immediately dismiss him.

"... my sister's ditching our work dinner to have sex with your stupid brother."

There's a beat here where he leans down to get his coffee and then stands back, still giving her space. It reminds me of how he stood to the side of her at the bar that one night. He didn't encroach on her space, didn't hover behind her, but simply wanted to be there in the moment with other people.

It wasn't a sexual or romantic thing, but just a person who wanted to be with other people, but without invading boundaries.

The last time he tried to sit near her, she got up and ran away. So, I get why he is a bit cautious, here, giving her space.

"Now the big boss guy is coming and I'm kinda freaking out because I need to show people I can do this alone."

Something in that breaks down a wall for Sasha. He crosses over and sits down on the couch with her, a full cushion separating them.

"Oh, I get it. You're the loser sibling."

That doesn't sit too well with Morgan. And if he hadn't jumped in so fast to respond, she might have been offended.

"What?" "And no judgment. I'm the loser sibling. I mean, it's hard to compete when your brother's the Jewish Jesus."

And then she gets it. It's not about "awful". It's about having this super, impossibly pedastled sibling to which everything you do is compared.

Morgan coughs out a laugh as she says, "Yeah". She gets it. She understands it. And this is probably the first moment where she understands Sasha.

Let's be real, she was ready to be offended over the "loser sibling" comment. But to see that he sees himself as one and the parameters are basically "compared to Jesus", it becomes super hard to be offended.

"It doesn't make as much sense with you, though."

And her reaction as he actually says things that coming from anyone else would totally be flirting is completely different from their first interaction.

But, also, she is in a really different place, emotionally. At their first meeting, Sasha was the interloper and she was already on-edge with her sister. This time, she is anxious and vulnerable. She needs him, and he helped her without hesitation.

But as he lists off her virtues, she softens. She smiles. She laughs.

And I think part of it is knowing this guy is married, is not remotely trying to hit on her or get anything out of her, and he's actually the one helping her out here.

Morgan saw in their first interaction that Sasha is totally stream-of-consciousness. He says what he's thinking. And, as we'll later see at the first basketball game Joanne attends, he's a little bit of a natural flirt.

Sasha is more of a people-person than he allows himself to remember. He likes talking to people. He likes being with other people. Yes, he can be alone, but he's one of those people who doesn't want to be alone all the time.

He's not looking for anything here with Morgan. Not a romance. Not a friendship. Nothing.

But what he's finding is an unexpected moment of connection. And I don't think how much either of them realizes they lack that in so much of their lives.

"And you're way hotter than your sister. I mean, she's too short." "Finally, somebody gets it, right? So short."

This is what allows her to move on. Shifting the conversation from her to her sister helps her re-focus on what she's supposed to be doing and she looks back to the screen.

It isn't long before Sasha wants to share something else helpful. I mean, the guy likes to help. It's hard-coded into him.

Just look at the apples in the Season Finale. He doesn't mind being the one on his knees in a good suit picking fruit up off the floor so everyone else can have a good time.

And he honestly wants to help Morgan. This isn't romantic. This isn't a seduction technique. This is literally Sasha just being Sasha.

"Everything in life is a hostage situation." "Okay..."

I love this. She is still flabbergasted by him. She still doesn't know what to make of him. But, she isn't outright dismissing him.

I do think a lot of it has to do with her mentality. When she first met Sasha and Noah, she was worried about her sister, in a bad mood, and stressed. Adding in the brothers was adding to her stress.

But in this episode, Sasha and Noah are the ones who are helping her, here. Noah reached out to Sasha, and Sasha is the one who actually get her in.

And while she's not sure where he's going with this, she's willing to hear him out.

"Holy shit, you're so good at that." "Thank you. It was a great tip."

And here we have the second positive memory in about two minutes associated with Sasha. First, he got her the laptop. Now, he's giving her tips to get through this meeting that's been stressing her out.

And having him affirm that she's "good at that" is exactly what she needs in the moment.

There's this episode of Quantum Leap (the original series with Scott Bakula) that comes to mind over and over for me. It's an episode where Sam leaps into a person who is mentally disabled.

And Sam, genius though he is, finds himself making mistake after mistake because everyone treats him like he is a buffoon. They treat him like he can't do anything right. And it says so much about how we see ourselves because of how others see us.

I wrote about a similar moment of realization in an episode of The Librarians where Jake talked about how people expected that he couldn't do things, so he started to believe he couldn't.

Both Morgan and Sasha know what it's like to have everyone expect them to drop the ball, to mess it up, to fall apart. And it sucks, because we learn through the course of the series that they are both very capable human beings who excel in their lines of work.

But the people around them enforce the idea that they aren't good enough. And that shit seeps into your pores and into your soul and it's hard to unstick.

In this moment, Sasha gets to help and Morgan gets to feel capable.

"Thank you for the tip. No, that doesn't work." "No, not as good."

He misspeaks. But this time is so different compared to any other time he misspoke or said something that didn't quite land. She isn't annoyed with him. Instead, she agrees with him that, yeah, that wasn't your best. And they move on.

He's growing on her. Not in a romantic way, but in a friendly way. And, as we'll later learn, that's untested waters for Morgan.

And this scene is less than two minutes long. Now, this isn't unusual in terms of scenes, but it's pretty remarkable that we witnessed the two of them bonding in less than two minutes.

All it took was Morgan being receptive toward Sasha. Not in a romantic way, but as a person.

"You were born in Canada?"

I love how smoothly she does is. She uses the tip from Sasha, and it actually works to help get the meeting started. And thus Sasha is associated with endorphins for Morgan.

Look, I'm not saying that at this second she starts to crave him carnally. All I'm saying is that little things build up over time, and though he is not mentioned in this scene, his influence is here and Morgan is certainly thinking a little about him, maybe wanting to thank him, again, for the tip.

"Hey, Zaddy. What's your job title?" "World's greatest lover." "Oh, I wish."

This whole interaction is so subtle and so heartbreaking for me. Yes, of course, there's her declaration that he isn't the world's greatest lover, but that doesn't bother me as much as the physical bits of his scene.

Look, some couples throw barbs. Sometimes Matt and I do! It's part of our dynamic that folks on the outside might not get. But what aches in this moment is how Sasha plants a kiss on his wife's head and she immediately smooths her hair back.

Sasha is something she needs to smooth away, in that moment. He displaced something in her that she needs to get back into place.

And I think the weight of expectation and perfection is heavy on Esther. I think that, more than anything, is what locks her into her Season 1 base personality.

Everyone starts somewhere and needs room to grow, and not everyone is going to grow at the same rate through the course of a season.

Joanne is our proxy in the world and she has the most growth to do as a person throughout the season. Noah is pretty static through season 1 besides the huge leap in the finale. Sasha and Morgan both have subtle growth. For Esther, I think we've planted the seeds of growth that can be explored more in Season 2.

But we all start somewhere. And Esther obviously still craves the approval of her mother-in-law, wants to have the perfect little life and family, and has that "good life" Noah's dad told him he could have if he married Rebecca.

I feel like Sasha and Esther have been "comfortable", but I really think she'd be happier with Rebecca. Oh, yes, I went there. Headcannon achived!

"Looks like you're on your way to the shvitz." "You know I hate the shvitz."

It's the only time I really see him look angry in this whole show. He is going to do what she says, because he always does what she says, but he doesn't want to.

And, yes, this leads to him getting the promotion. He stood up for himself, and that was good, and that was Esther pushing him.

I don't want it to ever seem like I am hating on Esther. I simply don't think they're a great match and that they want different things. But she does have her moments.

*Dipping in the water*

I just find it interesting that the episode where Sasha has to get into a pool he doesn't want to has Morgan dipping her toes into another.

It may mean absolutely nothing, but it's a television show and I'm going to dissect it all because this is how a gal who works alone from home every day and barely gets to have fun keeps from going mad.

*phone beep*

Joanne stops the recording and runs off to pee as Morgan's phone dings. She picks it up to see a message from Sasha: "Loser sibling alert."

She coughs out a short laugh as she responds, "Once again, I am not the loser sibling."

In seconds, the response comes in, "Me neither, cus I got a fuckin promotion"

A smile flutters across her lips as she rolls her eyes slightly. But then she leans forward, chuckling to herself.

And, oh shit, we are headed into dangerous territory. Remember, Bina had a key to her son's apartment for emergencies only. We can say that Sasha and Morgan exchanged numbers for completely practical, non-romantic reasons.

But this is a life update. This is something exciting for Sasha, and he wants to make sure Morgan knows about it. Morgan.

Obviously, Esther will know, as she's the one who pushed him to ask for more by shoving him toward his father. But Sasha wants Morgan to know about his life.

In the moment, he probably thinks it will encourage her as much as it excites him—that the loser siblings can still do well and accomplish things. But this opens a door that probably should've stayed shut.

We don't know if they've been texting before this. We're not privy to that part of their lives because then the show would be 24 hours long and a long succession of bathroom breaks.

But we know that when he texts her, her fingers hesitate over the screen as she considers how to respond. A dozen expressions flash across her face before she leans forward, leaning into this thing, with a smile.

And, at this point, neither of them are thinking anything romantic. But Morgan is well aware that this is outside her norm, even if it's not outside his. She doesn't usually text with married men.

Hell, since she finds most of her dates on apps, she likely isn't texting with unmarried men, either!

And I find it interesting that we started the episode with Morgan in hookup world and end it with genuine connection.

Look, no judgment, here! But themes like that are rarely accidental. Maybe since her husband she hasn't been looking for something that serious. We don't really know. We still have a lot to learn about Morgan.

But we're learning that she does like connection.

"Did you know that tall people die earlier than everybody else? So, enjoy me while I last."

I want to point this out because on the surface this definitely feels flirty. But, he is saying it to his brother's girlfriend, who he has no intention of ever trying anything with.

Sasha is just a little flirty. He's one of those guys.

And, look, being around theater people my whole life, I know these people! They don't mean anything by it, and Joanne clearly knows that. I think it adds a lens to how we view Morgan and Sasha because if he does come off flirty with her, it's likely unintentional.

"Hey, we're gonna head out for some victory drinks. You wanna go?"

He directs this to Joanne. Again, he is just that flirty, friendly, wants everyone to have a good time guy. He always sees everything as an open invitation to others, so I can see why he tends to read everything as an open invitation to himself.

Now, is that a bit problematic at times? Of course. The basis of his early interactions with Morgan is unease because he invites himself along on a date.

But part of Sasha's makeup is his openness.

"Wait... I have something insane to tell you."

Joanne's called Morgan to talk about the WAGs and her failure to connect, but even in the midst of her sister's spiral, Morgan needs to get something off of her chest.

And she has to tell her sister because she really can't tell anyone else.

"Wait. Wait. Are you ready to hear the insane thing I have to tell you? Okay, so, this is very weird and, um, kind of confusing, but I had a sex dream about the brother."

This is unfathomable. Morgan was so repulsed by him when they first met, and though she's warmed up to him, he is so not her type.

For a gal who is accustomed to more physical-based relationships, it's completely throwing her for a loop that she's having a sex dream about a guy she's never touched, and under normal circumstances wouldn't even consider touching.

She can't even say his name. In episode two when she texted Joanne in the car, she called him "the brother" and we know from the podcast where they nickname Noah "the prophet" that these kind of code names are normal for them.

But Joanne can say it.

"You had a sex dream about Sasha?"

She's incredulous. Now, sex dreams are not always indicative of anything at all. Let's be real. Some sex dreams are just dreams that are completely meaningless.

But this is a television series. Rarely is a sex dream meaningless.

Now, in the moment, Joanne is going to dismiss this and move on. She's more excited about how uncomfortable her sister is and doing that sisterly thing of delighting in Morgan's pain.

But depending on how they take the Loser Siblings dynamic down the line, Joanne is so gonna remember this moment.

"Yes. Yes. It's gross, right?"

She wants so badly for Joanne to tell her that. She wants to know that this is one of those completely meaningless sex dreams that she can just write off and never think about, again. But Joanne is speechless.

"Like, I don't get it. I'm not even attracted to him."

This one makes me chuckle. Because, I'm a demisexual with a hard ace lean. So, feeling sexual attraction for me is just not a real thing. I can feel romantic attraction and understand the appeal of sexual attraction.

But I wonder if Morgan is used to letting her sexual attraction lead her and doesn't realize that she actually has an emotional attraction to this guy.

I mean, just look at the way she was so soft with him in the laptop scene. He complimented her and she absorbed every one. But he also helped her, and offered her even more help, and she let him help her. They bonded.

I wonder if she's ever bonded with a guy emotionally before sleeping with them, before. And, no judgment! But I think that could be part of her block when it comes to understanding why she might be dreaming about "the brother" that way.

When Joanne doesn't say what she needs to hear, "Oh, that's weird. That's gross. So stupid!" she bounces off the call. She doesn't want to hear anything other than that because she can not be into "the brother".

"Oh, hi boys. Nice costumes."

Morgan looks to Sasha as she finishes the line, coughing a laugh. And, let's be honest, his neon yellow is a bit garish, but totally on brand for a character that constantly wears loud clothes to go for that.

Also, it makes sense that Morgan is trying to distance herself from thinking about him sexually by searing the image of him in that outfit in her brain.

And, oh! The. Framing. The framing! When they first cut back to the guys, it's the wide shot of everyone. But after the second half of the above quote, it's centered and focused on Sasha. Sasha is the one the camera focuses on as he looks at her.

Once he passes the ball off, he goes to greet her. Now, he's definitely standing a little too close. But they've connected and he feels less need to keep distance between them. I don't even think he realizes he's doing it.

He truly doesn't see anything but friendship in this relationship, and I'm not even sure he sees that at this point considering their conversation later in the episode. He's just not thinking it.

Morgan, though, fresh off a sex dream about him is very aware of how close he is to her.

It's not that she plans to do anything about that dream. But it's right there and he's right there, and that's a little too much Sasha near Morgan at this particular moment. She needs to purge the dream from her system, and having him so close does not make it easy.

"There he is."

One thing that really stood out to me on rewatch was how all the WAGs greeted their significant others. Drunk Joanne leapt into Noah's arms, of course. But if you look in the background, all the other WAGs embrace their significant others.

All except... Esther.

She doesn't even TOUCH him when she approaches him, and he doesn't seek it. He does seek emotional connection, though.

He asks if she wants to go out with him to eat spicy food (to take advantage of the fact that he is already sweating), but she turns him down to go be with Rebecca.

To note, this is at least the second time he has tried to connect with her (last time for a make-up sex night, this time just to go out together) and she has pushed him aside for Rebecca.

And this pushes him toward Morgan.

Think about it. If he'd left right then with his wife, they wouldn't have even seen Morgan loitering around looking for a ride. In a different type of show, this would've been the last time any of them saw Morgan alive. Yes, I know my mind's a little dark.

Instead, Sasha is shuffling alone when he runs into a super intoxicated Morgan who is still a little jumpy about him being too close to her.

"See. I'm telling you. We're the loser siblings. Think they'd forget about you if you were the winner sibling?" "Just stop with that."

And here he is looking for connection, again. And, at first, Morgan rebuffs him. She's still rejecting the Loser Sibling label, which is, to a degree, rejecting Sasha. It's not vindictive or cruel. She simply isn't looking for connection the way he is.

He longs for connection. She needs it more than she knows. That's why their combination is so damn dangerous.

In her, he finds someone who laughs (sometimes with him, sometimes at him), who lets him help and doesn't make him feel like a loser while he does.

In him, she finds a guy who doesn't expect anything of her. He offers of himself with no expectation of return. In that selflessness, she recognizes a softness in him that brings out a softness in her.

Neither of them is looking for love. Neither of them is looking for an affair. What they are both truly in want of is connection. Yes, they have their siblings, but in each other they find someone who truly gets it.

And I feel like some dialogue got cut here. It reads just fine the way it's edited together, but I'm wondering if the Uber would take a half hour or something. That seems like something Morgan would comment on while looking at her phone.

I just feel like a little something's been cut and I could be way off, but it throws me every time I watch the scene. Like, it actually pulls me out.

But, let's be real, most folks watching this aren't people who grew up on film sets, was an actress, the daughter of a makeup artist, and a film minor in college with two degrees in communications. I have no idea how to watch something normally.

I ruined one of Matt's favorite scenes in Raiders of the Lost Ark the first time we watched it together. I still feel bad about that one.

"Well, I'll give you a ride." "Why?"

And this is another clue that makes me think Morgan has never gone the "Friends to lovers" route with a guy. She absolutely expects him to want something from her. She doesn't expect him to do this because it's a nice thing to do.

I mean, note how she looks to his lips before meeting his eyes. She full on understands a world of sexual favors and unspoken expectations. But Sasha truly has none. He honestly just wants to help.

At every turn, he wants to help her. He helped her with getting into his brother's place to get the laptop. He helped her with the hostage negotiator tip. He's helping her by giving her a ride.

He truly likes to help. He just knows that those closest to him always expect him to be a screw up. With Morgan, he gets to be the hero. And I don't think he even fully realizes it, yet.

She crosses her arms over her chest as she waits for his response—a defensive move. And, honestly, I love every choice Ms. Lupe makes in this whole sequence because we can see Morgan's discomfort and distrust.

She's wrestling with wanting to believe he's being honest and selfless, but she just can't trust it.

"Because it's a nice thing to do and you need one."

That's it. It's as simple as that. It's the nice thing to do. Morgan uncrosses her arms (off camera, but it happens) as she accepts the ride.

"So, just so you know, we're gonna listen to my music, and I've been in a, like, Kris Kross phase."

The only reason I left this in is because once we get to the scene of them pulling up to the house... there is no music. My bet is that once they got into the car they started talking and just never stopped.

Also, once they pull up, he's wearing a hooded sweatshirt over his basketball clothes (yes, I know this is the real world and likely the actor isn't actually wearing all that underneath, but let's just go with the story here, people).

Note the biggest detail—he's no longer sweaty. He invited Esther out for spicy food "because he was already sweating". When he offered to give Morgan the ride, he didn't just take a detour on his plans—he changed them entirely.

Because it was never about the spicy food. It was about that want for connection. Sasha wanted to go out with his wife, but she had other plans.

So, instead of sitting across from Esther at a table eating spicy food and connecting, he's sitting next to Morgan in the car... connecting.

*Morgan laughs* "So dumb." "It's pretty dumb. Thank you, though. Thank you for laughing."

This. Is. Important. Look at how they are just laughing and relaxing together. I know we have no idea what they are talking about, but we don't need to. Those two lines are about the vibes of the Loser Siblings dynamic.

They are relaxed around one another. Where he once really annoyed her, now he makes her laugh. And he gets pleasure out of making her laugh. He laughs with her because it is so nice just to laugh with someone.

And maybe I'm biased, but that is one of my favorite things in a relationship—laughing together. Matthew and I have been through a lot in our 17 years of marriage (oh, gosh, has it been that long!?). But laughter is our biggest point of connection.

That and being positively ridiculous together. What other couple do you know who works the Swedish Chef into their goodnights?

"Haven't you ever had, like, a guy friend give you a ride home?"

And, while Sasha is trying really hard not to see anything weird about his and Morgan's dynamic, he's basically confirming my suspicions. Morgan doesn't do "guy friends". She just doesn't have that mode. And this is all new for her.

"But we're friends."

His reaction to this is so telling. He just realized that the only girl friend he has in his life is the woman he married who ran off all his other women friends.

My mom once dated a guy for three years. They ended amicably and stayed friends. Welp, once he married, his new wife made him mail my mother every photo of them.

Like, she couldn't just toss them, but had to go through the extra knife in the chest of sending them back to the ex, including all the pictures of me and my brother with him. So, I know these types of women.

And Sasha wants to be friends with Morgan (because what else can he be, right?), but he's sort of realizing that in being her friend and putting that label on it, he's risking Esther finding out and shutting it down.

For me, this is when it gets fuzzy for him. Morgan is already sex dreaming about him and giggling to herself about his text messages. Sasha's a little more oblivious in an adorable way.

But watch his face as he's considering a friendship with Morgan. This is when it goes from something that snuck up on him to something that he is going to actively keep from his wife. Because he's enjoying this friendship with Morgan.

To be clear, he has zero thoughts at this point of it going any further. He truly wants to be her friend. But some part of him knows this is forbidden territory, even if he isn't technically cheating.

Morgan, however, is relieved to have the "Friend" label out there. Labels are easy and they help her distance and protect herself. So, calling "the brother" her "friend" helps her distance from her subconscious that wants more.

"Well, thank you friend for the ride home." "You're welcome."

He's still mulling over the meaning of what just happened as she gets out of the car, flashing two birds at him as she goes.

"Two stars. Bye!" "Thank you. That's gonna bring up my star rating to two."

Where he runs from Esther or changes the topic with her, he bites back a little at Morgan, and I love that. He isn't running from her bitchy farewell (which is clearly another layer of protection for herself), but instead snarks back. More and more, he can be himself with her.

And it's all happening so gradually that they don't really see it coming.

He probably goes straight home after this, and later Esther will ask about the spicy food he ate, and that will become either the first skirting the topic (say he changed his mind) or outright lie (it was delicious!).

"Babe, I love you. You're my queen, but I have committed to being super hyped on tonight, so even if it feels like a betrayal, you're on your own."

Why include this? Because, once again, he is uncomfortably honest with Esther. But, also, it is one of the very few times we see him choosing anything over her. Here, he has made a commitment to his brother, and he is going to see it through.

Back in Episode 2 we saw him choose his brother over Esther when he lied about "shutting down" the "shiksa thing". Noah said, "Don't tell Esther" and Sasha responded, "I'm not gonna tell Esther". So, we know that these two have kept things from Esther before.

Siblings can be gray areas on those things. I have siblings with varying degrees of closeness (family is complicated, right!?) but there are some things you just keep between you—like spilling an entire gallon of sweet tea on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night when you shouldn't have been making tea in the first place.

We told Mom years later... when she had mellowed... a lot.

But, back to the honesty bit, this is another reason why I think his friendship with Morgan is such a shock to Esther when she finds out later. Sasha keeping things from her that extend to Noah isn't a shock. They're brothers. Brothers have bonds.

But Sasha is a very open person, on the surface. Yes, in episode three he talked behind Esther's back, "Breaking up the family?! What the fuck!? I'm sorry" to Noah. But, Esther doesn't realize that. He is so open and honest with her about so many things that she doesn't think he would keep a secret like that.

Yes, he went out with Morgan in episode two, but he didn't know it when he lied to Esther in the Temple. He was just going to meet the girl his brother was crushing on, so he thought. So, that is still a brother-protecting-brother thing. This moment? Another brother-protecting-brother thing.

These moments make sense to Esther. Her husband of probably 15 years having a secret woman friend? Yeah, nowhere near her radar.

"You know, I wanted to go elastic, but Esther wouldn't let me." "Honey, your sweats are gross."

This reminds me of the Rebecca and Noah first scene where she wanted plates and he wanted to just eat out of the container. And, of course, life has those little moments of disagreement.

But this is a television show. Almost everything has meaning.

Likely, Sasha is just saying it because he's sweet and wants to show solidarity. But, we also know that he does like to wear his sweats. We see him wearing several different hooded sweat shirts at Noah's. He wears the sweatshirt in the car with Morgan. He wears sweats when he's home alone on the couch. He's comfortable in Sweats.

What Esther is saying here is that Sweats in general are gross. There's no clarification about whether or not they're clean—it's just another thing Sasha likes and feels comfortable in that is a no-go for Esther.

"Hey, what's up?"

Sasha is sneaking into a freakin' bathroom to have a conversation with Morgan. This dude is not stupid.

I've seen some people say, "Oh, yeah, Sasha is totally clueless", and while I think he is to a degree during the season, by this point he knows he is is actively making a choice to hide Morgan from Esther.

So, yeah, I think he is fully aware that lines are getting blurred, here, but since he has zero intention of going physical and doesn't seem to understand an emotional affair anymore than Morgan, he thinks he is in the clear as long as he's not found out.

But what also sticks out is his face. Looking for Esther, he's nervous. But as soon as he sees Morgan's face, his brightens. He has no idea why she's calling, but he's happy to see her.

And can we talk about the fact that this is built into the episode description?! "Morgan asks Sasha for a favor".

There are only two episodes where these two make the description, and both of them are moments that move their relationship forward—in episode 5 when they bond over sibling dynamics, and here, when she calls him for the first time.

"I just haven't told Esther that we're friends, yet."

Because everyone involved knows this is over when you do. Yes, Morgan and Sasha have been living in this little, private bubble where nobody knew about their friendship but them.

Morgan didn't even tell Joanne. Sasha didn't even tell Noah.

Their best friends in the world—who also happen to be their siblings—have no idea that they are texting and chatting and becoming friends.

Morgan told Joanne about the sex dream, sure, but that's because she wanted validation that it was an anomaly and weird. She never said she was also texting with this guy.

I mean, hello, how much more cheating-coded can it be without them laying a finger on one another?!

"If I tell you something I need you to swear on your life you're never going to repeat it to anyone. Okay? Not Noah. Not Esther. Nobody." "100%. I just need to let you know I've never actually successfully kept a secret before. So, keep that in mind before you tell me."

He's protecting her. He's being honest with her. He doesn't want to let her down.

Yes, he annoyed the shit out of her the first time they met. But since then, he has a good track record of being helpful. He helped her with the laptop, with the mirroring, with the ride home.

And we know from the Season Finale that before this phone call he tipped her off to the best tacos in LA. He helped her, again!

But this is something he knows he could fuck up. And he's worried he'll fuck it up. And he wants her to know upfront that he might fuck it up.

But Morgan decides to trust him anyway.

"So, I ran into Rebecca last week." "Oh, okay, that is juicy."

Think about this objectively. Rebecca is his wife's best friend. He knows Rebecca. He knew Rebecca as his brother's girlfriend for three years.

He's probably known Rebecca forever, and yet he's about to take on this task for Morgan to help her.

Again, these two haven't laid a finger on each other, but this is where Sasha knows he's in the grey area (even if he wants to pretend he's not) and is in a position to continually choose Morgan over the other people in his life.

But, we'll get back to that.

"He tells me everything. I'm like his Rabbi."

Listen to that little bit of pride in his voice! But as he's talking to his friend who he has not told his brother about, he waivers on his certainty.

"Although, wait, what if he's hiding that from me?"

Because, my friend, you are certainly hiding something involving a girl from him.

"Yeah, I don't know, but you need to get to the bottom of it, okay? And just let me know what you find out."

There's something so casual about this, but it's another step in their relationship they probably don't realize they're making. Morgan is asking for help.

Think about it. When Sasha let Morgan into Noah's place, that was because Noah texted him asking for help. The mirroring tip was just something Sasha freely gave. Then, Sasha offered her the ride.

I've mentioned a few times that I think Morgan is well-acquainted with transactional relationships. But her relationship with Sasha is different. He doesn't ask for anything in return.

Still, she hasn't asked him for anything—until now. This is the first time she actively asks him for something. And he really doesn't want to fuck it up.

"I'm sorry. Why would I mention your name? "I don't know. It's just, you said it and it felt like I should say it back." "Okay. Bye. Thanks, weirdo."

Again, he misspoke. And she called him out on it. But she isn't upset. She understands this is one of his quirks. But, also, she still isn't calling him by name.

Names are special. I mean, X-Files knew it or they wouldn't have been specific and intentional about when Mulder and Scully called one another by their first names.

And while she also once calls her sister "weirdo" (see next episode) the "weird" label is definitely one she associates with her and Sasha. It is weird. There's no denying it from her point of view! But she doesn't want to stop it. And neither does he.

Again, neither of them see this as an affair. Neither of them see this as cheating. But they both are also aware that this is outside the norm.

But, then, how do you define it? Do they realize they're crossing these lines? It's so hard to say.

One thing's for sure—Sasha is no fool. Not only does he flush the toilet, but he runs the water after. He might be a bit of a buffoon, but he isn't an idiot.

He knows he shouldn't be talking to Morgan like this. He knows Esther would shut it down if she knew. But he isn't in it for sex or romance—he yearns for connection. And he's finding it where he shouldn't.

"I didn't hear it in a real sense of hearing..."

I'm not putting the whole thing, but you know the scene. When he tries to surreptitiously ask Esther about the whole Rebecca thing.

In the moment, it's read as Sasha just being Sasha—a little weird. But later, Esther is going to look back on this interaction and realize he "heard" it from the tall sister.

"Babe, you know what's actually really funny? Okay. Rebecca saw the dumb sister, pretending not to know who she was, then told her just like a bunch of lies about her and Noah just to fuck with her. It's amazing." "My God, women are scary."

So much to break down. First off, Esther calling Morgan, "the dumb sister". That's gotta sting for Sasha because he knows what it's like to be the Loser Sibling and have everyone expect less of you. He and Morgan share that, so there's a ping of sympathy for Morgan.

Then, he sees his wife's absolute glee at this fuckery. Like, I get that you don't like that life didn't go the way you perfectly planned it, but what the fuck, lady!?

"You need to promise me you are not gonna repeat that." "Yeah. No, no, no. Of course not. That's just, like, really juicy information that people would kill for and I'm just not gonna do anything with it or tell anybody."

Watch his face when she leaves. He was asked by Morgan to dig into this. She swore him to secrecy. Now, he has the answer, but his wife has sworn him to secrecy.

And in this moment, he chooses Esther. He does! He makes the choice to say nothing to Morgan because his wife swore him to secrecy.

Note how he doesn't warn her that he can't keep a secret. He just tells her he'll keep it, and then wrestles with it—because now he has failed Morgan.

To keep his wife's secret, he failed to help Morgan. Honestly, either way he chooses, he loses in some way.

"Text your sister. See if she'll come to dinner with us." "No." "Come on. I hate that you're in a fight."

That gets Sasha's attention. He literally backs up to join the conversation and Noah's head swivels up to him like, "What the hell?"

But Sasha being Sasha has its advantages, and this is one of those moments. Neither of them question why he wants to nose into their business. It's just Sasha being Sasha, right?

"What are you guys fighting about?" "Nothing. She's just a lying bitch who's trying to get in between me and my bubbeleh."

That same pained expression that crossed his face when he learned the truth briefly flashes across his features. He didn't know why Morgan was asking him for the information before, but now he knows that Rebecca's lies are actively doing damage.

"How do you know Morgan's lying?"

That's the first time I recall him saying her name.

See, Sasha distances the same way that Morgan does—with nicknames or placeholders. It's one of those places where they're alike and don't even realize it.

Names have intimacy attached to them. And though he doesn't realize it, he's crossed into a form of intimacy with Morgan.

They have their own inside jokes, memories, and now secrets. Those little things are what builds the strands of connection and strengthen them.

"If you knew the situation, you would get it."

And the crazy thing is that he knows more than either Noah or Joanne about it. Hell, he knows more than Morgan at this point.

"Okay. Well, I don't."

Because... what can he say? To any of them? He chose Esther, and that's the end of it.

"What does Morgan think about all this? I mean, is she cool with Joanne tribing up?" "I don't know, man. They're still fighting."

It's been days. At least days. Sasha has been sitting on this information, and now he knows that the sisters are still fighting.

And much as he chose Esther in the moment, that resolve is wearing thin. Because this isn't some little tiff.

He knows that Morgan ran into Rebecca a week before she called him. He knows they were fighting when Joanne came for lunch. They're still fighting.

And much as he wouldn't admit that he cares about Morgan, he does. He cares. Someone he cares about is being hurt—and he can help stop that hurt.

Sasha tries to unload his burdens with his brother, to tell him the truth. But Noah rebuffs the older sibling not even knowing what he's rejecting.

And, look, no judgment on Noah for not engaging in gossip (though he totally did with Joanne's friends about Amanda). Gossip is frickin' dangerous.

But secrets between the brothers are not new. We've seen it time and time, again. These two talk, and it's pretty assured that Esther would forgive Sasha for telling Noah if she ever figured it out because Sasha could redirect her ire to his brother.

Sasha could have told him everything and then let him tell Joanne and let her tell Morgan. That way, he wouldn't be directly betraying his wife. But, it doesn't work out that way.

And, again, Sasha is pushed toward Morgan.

He needs to talk, and there are only a few people in this world he talks to. I mean really talks to. Yes, he plays basketball with "the guys", but when it comes to hanging out, it's really only with his little brother. He talks to his wife, but that's its own thing.

But the only way to get rid of this burden is to tell Morgan. So, he does it. He makes the active choice to call her and break Esther's trust.

"Care to tell me why Sasha's calling you? ... Morgan, what did you do!?"

What does she think her sister did!? Like, last Joanne knew her sister was having sex dreams about her boyfriend's brother, but that was ages back and she has no idea that they are friends.

Like, I've thought it through a lot and I'm not exactly sure what Joanne thinks her sister did, here. And it does play into that "Morgan always fucks it up and I have to fix it" mentality that Joanne has about her sister.

But, do you know what is super fun? Watching Joanne's expressions during the phone call. When Morgan picks up, she's waiting for the shoe to drop—for something to be wrong.

"Hi, Sasha. Why are you calling? We barely know each other."

Babe, who do you think you are fooling with that bullshit? Anyway...

"Okay, look, I have something to tell you-"

Inserting my own break here just for Joanne's face. Look how she pulls her head back. Girlfriend is concerned about what is about to come out of that phone.

"I'm not used to keeping secrets, but I need some sweet release from these chains." "Alright, well, now is not a good time, so-"

Honey, what do you think he was going to say? Because, clearly you were trying to protect him from your sister. Maybe trying to protect yourself, too!

Like, she doesn't know what the secret is. But in that moment, she actually tried to choose Sasha over Joanne. It's a brief thing. It's barely there. But, she was trying to protect Sasha no matter what the secret was.

Those little things keep adding up... keep strengthening their bond.

"Rebecca lied. You were compromised the entire time. She knew who you were and she just wanted to mess with Noah and Joanne. Nothing she said was true."

Morgan's posture completely changes when she knows what the secret is, and Joanne has her light bulb moment as she gets to hear from someone else's mouth that her sister was telling the truth.

And, can we talk for a second here about how it had to be the Loser Siblings rescuing themselves, here? Sasha tried to tell Noah and get him to be the savior. Joanne wouldn't listen to Morgan. But Sasha really saves the day.

"Oh my God, that felt so good."

Alright, there, Sasha. Keep it in your pants.

"Look, I gotta go. Don't tell Esther I told you."

He gets that sweet release he needs, so now there's another endorphin response associated with Morgan subconsciously. And he made the choice of Morgan over Esther.

Yup. In the immortal words of Whoopi Goldberg: "Girl. You in danger."

Also, can we please talk about the timing of all this?! He is at his daughter's Bat Mitzvah! The ceremony probably just wrapped up and they are headed to the reception.

No doubt, Sasha sees his brother despondent because his girlfriend didn't show. He knows that Morgan and Joanne are still fighting. And he's powerless to do anything about his daughter's ridiculous Bat Mitzvah theme that is universally hated.

He doesn't know that making that call will bring Joanne to the party. He doesn't know he is also helping his brother out when he makes that call. But he knows it will help Morgan.

So he steals a moment between the ceremony and the reception to call her.

He rushes through the truth, partially because he wants to get it off his chest, but partially because he is pushing his luck making this phone call at all. He is with his entire family and can't risk anyone catching him.

This is another place where we see his thought process on display—he doesn't video call. It's audio only, and he doesn't use her name. Our boy is not stupid and not clueless.

And then he tells Morgan not to tell Esther he told her.

Now, Morgan and he have another secret from Esther, but this time Joanne bore witness. So, any worries she might've had about Sasha and Morgan having an active affair were put to bed (heh), but she definitely still thinks it's weird the two are talking.

"Why does Sasha have your phone number?" "We can circle back to that."

Because it's complicated. Again, I think the simple answer: "We exchanged phone numbers when you were boinking your boyfriend and blowing off business" is likely the complete factual answer.

But Morgan is still on full-on avoidance when it comes to her feelings for Sasha, whatever they are. And she doesn't want to talk about Sasha because then she has to think about Sasha.

And then she just might have to be honest with herself about Sasha.

Morgan is still going on dates. Sasha is still with his wife. Again, they don't think they've crossed any lines, here. But all it takes is one outsider looking in to burst that bubble.

Where before Morgan wanted Joanne to break a Sasha bubble, now she doesn't want that. Because what she has with Sasha is different than anything she's ever had with anyone else—whatever it is.

"Okay, so the real question is, is this bitch Rebecca really trying to break you guys up?" "Yeah. Everyone is. And they're all together at a Bat Mitzvah." "Then what the fuck are we doing here?"

And this is Morgan at her best. We've seen her at her worst—sniping and battling her sister, getting in her head about Noah. But this? This is Morgan at her best.

When Joanne is drowning with the WAGs, Morgan shows up. When Joanne needed rescues from bad dates, Morgan shows up. When Joanne second guesses staying outside the Temple, Morgan shows up. Even though Morgan was so frustrated with Sasha that first hang, she still plays her part to be her sister's wingwoman.

Morgan talks a lot of shit. Morgan can totally get it wrong. But when it matters—Morgan shows up.

In Episode 1 Joanne told Noah that Morgan was her best friend and worst enemy (to which he responded he had one of those in Sasha). Now, we see it on full display.

"I hate this dress."

Miriam tumbles in the dress she hates so much, and Esther is right there to help. She really is a good mom, trying to help her daughter through an embarrassing moment.

As she whisks her daughter away, who's there to drop to one knee and take care of the apples? It's Sasha. And he waves everyone else off, taking full responsibility for the tumbled fruit—because Sasha likes to help.

Then, his world gets rocked a little.

This whole sequence is about the Loser Siblings. Yes, of course, waves are made when the sisters arrive. It's part of the drama of the show that Bina is mad, Rebecca is shocked, and everyone else knows juicy drama when they see it.

But who do we see first as the music shifts? It's Sasha.

He isn't even at the right angle to see them first. He's around the corner from the door. But when they pieced the sequence together, they wanted us to see Sasha's eyes trailing from apples (which could be seen as "forbidden fruit") to the hot ladies walking in the door.

He straightens as his eyes land on them. And if you're paying attention, you can see where this shot of him might have been intended for later as the actor completes the same head movement at the edge of our view in another shot.

They edited it to be Sasha first on purpose. This is intentional. Someone, somewhere, made a call that this sequence would show that little world shift of Sasha and Morgan.

As they enter, Joanne and Morgan offer bitch face to Bina and Rebecca. And can we talk about Rebecca, the ex being with the family? Yes, she is Esther's best friend, but they are all clearly planting their flags on the "Noah is so getting back with Rebecca" plan.

While Joanne's eyes move into the crowd looking for Noah as they pass Bina and Rebecca, Morgan's find Sasha, still kneeling on the ground. And, oh, he is looking back.

She smiles into a small laugh that's just for him before her resting bitch face takes over. And as Joanne and Morgan split to either side of the camera, we're left with Sasha in focus, center frame, clearly watching after Morgan as she goes.

This is romcom framing, folks. This is clearly a moment of, "Holy shit, she's a smokeshow!"

And it's not that he didn't already know it. But in that moment he totally forgets himself and mentally acknowledges that sexy dress and that special smile meant just for him.

Yeah, these two are screwed.

Again, I am not condoning or encouraging infidelity. These are fictional characters who I hope get their shit together in Season 2 and find a way to be together without a cheating trope.

Only the writers know what's in store for next season. I can only comment on what's on the screen, now. And that sequence was intentional.

"I hope it's chill that I crashed. You know, I just, I love a DJ." "The more the merrier! Absolutely. I'm so happy you two made up."

And they look to one another with a smile. But I also note that they don't tell Noah anything about how it all went down. Now, Morgan escapes before there's really time to ask about that, but, looking back later, this could be seen as a time Joanne chose to shelter Morgan and Sasha.

And we know that Joanne doesn't know the full story, but she also knows they aren't sneaking off into the bathroom for a quickie (you know Morgan once led an episode of their podcast entitled "Public Places & Small Spaces").

Still... looking back.. both Morgan and Joanne kept the truth of their reconciliation from Noah... because they were protecting Sasha and Morgan.

"Hello, Joanne. My heavens, you came. And you brought an uninvited guest."

Morgan, I love you clinking those glasses together. Oh my gosh, girl, never change. But Mama Roklov has been warning since Day One about the "sister". Does she suspect something? I doubt it. But she definitely doesn't want her family having any more connections with Joanne's.

Oh, my sweet summer child, what you don't know!

And the dance sequence made me smile. I know there are a lot of character things going on, here, but it also reminded me so much of my wedding.

Wow, have I gotten this deep in without talking about my heritage!? Oy vey! So, my Dad's mother was raised by Catholic nuns in Barcelona, Spain. My mother's mother converted to Judaism when she married my Ukrainian grandfather, before they had my mom.

I was raised in a very weird mix of cultures and traditions. My mother rejected Judaism, so I had to learn everything from my cousins.

My mother also wasn't that supportive of my Spanish heritage from my father, so my adult life has been spent piecing together the pieces of who I am.

But my wedding was full of joy. 250 people of different cultures and backgrounds all conga-lining, doing the hora, and lifting Matthew and I in the air on their shoulders.

I had a lovely moment of remembrance watching the dance sequence in this episode.

There are so many pockets of life from my Jewish side of my family that are so special and unique, and while no media portrayal of a culture is perfect, I've enjoyed this show immensely.

Anyway... back to the show:

"Why are you here?"

There's a tinge of, "You don't belong here" in that. Bitch, why are you here!?

"Your dumb little lie really fucked up my relationship with my sister." "I don't know what you're talking about."

Flames. Flames coming out the side of my head. Yes, I know you're pissed, Rebecca, but you don't give a shit that your lie is impacting someone who has nothing to do with this!?

Listen, sugar, why don't you and your bestie lock yourselves in a closet and make out for a while since you clearly enjoy each other's company more than any of the men's anyway? It would save everyone a lot of heartache and I think make all y'all happier.

"Okay, don't bullshit me. Alright? Sasha told me everything."

No, Morgan, what are you doing!? Okay, technically telling Rebecca is not the same thing as telling Esther, but practically? Girl, the game is up!

No more coasting along for Sasha and Morgan. With Bina and Esther and Rebecca all united, seas are gonna be stormy in Season 2.

"Did you tell Sasha that I lied to the tall sister?"

Rebecca, you just got a small point for being nicer in your chosen descriptor than Esther. "Tall" is a lot less bitchy than "Dumb".

"What did the idiot do?" "He told her!"

Welp, she calls Morgan "Dumb" and Sasha an "Idiot", so maybe she'll come to see them as the perfect match. But, seriously, it was a bitchy thing to do.

Yes, Sasha is still in the wrong by Esther for breaking her confidence. Not glazing over that at all.

Narratively was it the right call? Yes, we needed Morgan and Joanne reconciled in case there wasn't a second season. But as far as his marriage goes, Sasha has definitely stepped outside the lines.

"No. Not possible. He doesn't even know her." "Pretty sure he knows her."

Now, in cannon Esther knows about that first night out where they literally got 20 minutes tops at the bar before she broke it up, and then she saw him greet Morgan at the basketball game. As far as Esther knows, that's it.

She knows nothing else about their dynamic, and now she's going fishing.

"I love Bat Mitzvahs. There's so much free shit! You know?" "Yeah."

Sasha was already facing the bar when she came up, so he's basically gone back to first position on this one. He's facing away from her. But she wants to talk to him.

And it strikes me that if we went a little wider in the shot, Sasha and Morgan are reversed in their positioning from the bar.

He's facing the bar instead of her facing a jukebox, but it's that same positioning. Only this time, she is open to him and waiting for him to open up to her.

"Hey, um, thank you, you know, for finally telling me the truth. My sister was never going to speak to me again."

She touches his arm as she speaks. Now, this isn't a big deal for Morgan. She touches people. She touched Rebecca while they were talking. She touches her sister. She's a tactile person.

But, I noticed it because Esther doesn't touch Sasha a whole lot. He is very used to a relationship without gentle affection. And I wonder what was going through his mind when Morgan touched him.

"That's alright. Happy to help."

Look. At. His. Face. It's blink and you'll miss it, but I can't recall ever seeing Sasha this... soft.

Like, Mr. Simons, I did not know your game!

He smiles a half smile that dimples his cheek. And on the reverse shot, you can tell that Morgan feels that softness because her smile fades as she looks from his eyes to his lips.

She doesn't realize that his wife made him promise not to tell anyone and that he broke that promise. But she knows that something is shifting between them. Even if she can't name it, now that Joanne is aware of their "friendship", she has to really think about it.

Why does he have your number, Morgan? Why is he so comfortable texting you? Why are you still texting him? Why are you calling each other? You know he has to hide in the bathroom, that he is literally hiding you from his wife the way your sister's ex who she was obsessed with and talked about in episode one hid her.

Are you really the one who is only interested in men who are emotionally unavailable?

And she's not quite ready to think about that. But she does have to acknowledge somehow that these blurred lines aren't going unnoticed.

"You know, she thought it was weird that we talk to each other."

And there it is. Morgan wanted Joanne to tell her that the sex dream was gross, and she didn't. But, clearly Joanne did express that it was weird that they talk. And now that it's out there, Morgan can't keep it in any more than Sasha can keep in a secret.

This is when Sasha opens up to face her. They are having a personal conversation, now, about them. Whatever they are... this is their first real discussion about it since they band-aided it with the "friend" label.

"I'm telling you, it's not weird-"

Because he still wants to hold onto the idea that he's on the right side of the line. He still wants to believe that they are in the clear.

Because he would never cross a physical line. It just wouldn't happen. It's not in his makeup. He's loyal and dedicated and willing to stay by Esther's side even if she cheated on him.

But Morgan is self-aware enough now that she's had to think about it to realize that they are toeing some pretty big lines, here. Maybe not in terms of physical affection, but in terms of connection.

"Okay, stop saying that it's not weird when we both know that it kind of is." "Alright, fine."

The bravado instantly fades. He's honest with her. He's open with her.

"It might be a little weird, but I enjoy talking to you. Is that so bad?"

And there he's redrawn the lines. Yes, it's "weird", but we're just talking, right? Talking isn't bad, right? We can talk, right?

A month or so earlier they sat in a car where she waited for him to affirm her label. "Friend". And he did. This time, he's waiting for her to tell him if this is bad or not.

It's not bad, right? Talking?

Except "talking" is the exact verb Morgan used when asking Sasha about Rebecca and Noah. She asked if they were "talking" again before sharing that Rebecca said they were getting back together.

But neither one of them is thinking about that right now. Honestly, they're enjoying the time together more than either would admit, and they lean into it.

"No. No. I'm fun to talk to."

She takes it back to their banter, and he is thoroughly charmed. Look at that smile!

"There we go. A little Stuart level confidence there."

He's smiling so broadly, so sweetly as he lifts his drink to his lips. She fixates on it, asking for a drink, then practically demanding it. He relinquishes it with a smile.

And as he's still smiling at her, she holds eye contact while drinking from his glass.

Freeze frame that shit and this is full romcom. Like, she is looking up at him drinking from his drink while he smiles, nearly in a daze.

And her holding his gaze is intentional. There's a sultry edge to it as they toe this line a little too closely between friendly and flirtatious.

The surprise on Morgan's taste buds shatters the moment.

"Wait, there's no alcohol in that." "Yeah, I told you a hundred times, I'm California sober."

A hundred times. A hundred times?! Just how many text conversations have you two been having!?

The barkeep apparently read her mind (or maybe knew her order from earlier) and passes over something with actual alcohol. Yes, it's television magic, but we're gonna roll with it, okay?!

"Are you high?" "Mmm-hmm" "Can I have some?" "Yes. 100%."

Seriously, if these two do have a future, "100%" is going to be one of those things that comes back as theirs. There are those little phrases or words that seep into the collective comprehension of a couple, and this one would be in the running for them.

But, also, he finally has someone who wants to share in these things with him. Morgan is actively asking to share in this with him. Where before she wanted to kick him out of her car and run across the bar to get away, now she seeks him out.

This scene of them drinking together is such a far cry from their first drink together, at a bar only a few months earlier.

There, she made a face at Sasha sticking a finger in his brother's drink, contaminating it. Here, she actively drinks from his glass.

There, she didn't want to look at him or talk to him. Here, she's the one seeking him out, and they are growing closer by the minute.

This guy she thought she was tolerating for a few minutes at a bar for her sister's sake is now someone she wants in her life, even if she isn't fully sure of the capacity. Like, what are they?

Dipping toes into an emotional affair, absolutely. But where does it go from here? Would they cross those physical lines?

Personally, I see more kiss and retreat than full-blown affair from these two, but I'm not writing the show. I'm just writing this ridiculously long Meta because these actors played these scenes so bloody well and I can't get them outta my head.

As Morgan and Sasha share in a moment, toasting to their future shared high, Esther and Bina look on in dismay. Esther scrolls through the text messages, and I'm going to write them out below (the ones I can read).

Sasha: Ughhh now I want tacos. Sasha: are you gonna go? send pics Morgan: [photo of three tacos] Sasha: Best tacos in LA, right?!?! Morgan: They're amazing! You're right. Sasha: Win for the loser siblings!!! Morgan: lol fine! Win for the loser siblings. Sasha: Have you seen Dune? Morgan: no?? should I Sasha: Are you going to see the sequel? Morgan: I wasn't planning on it. Sasha: Well, if you're gonna watch the sequel you should def see the first one. Morgan: hey, can I call you? Sasha: Yeah, give me two Morgan: Thank you for telling me the truth [heart emoji]

These aren't love notes. But they also aren't the sort of texts you expect a married man to send a single woman.

We see here that he helped her find some great tacos, that she finally embraced their shared "Loser Siblings" label after denying it for so long, that they were talking movies.

And those last few lines are where it escalates. They've been talking... and she sent him a heart emoji.

Emojis have meaning, right? Especially for Morgan. When she sent Joanne her first blush impression of Sasha, she included several unflattering emojis. This time, she sent him a heart.

And that's the last we see of Sasha and Morgan because this isn't their bloody show. And, to be clear, I adore Noah and Joanne. I'm just personally more drawn to what is going on over here.

I don't know if I'm a loser sibling, myself. But I know what it's like to feel like you can do nothing right, that you have to accept the path someone else chose for you, that you have to marry the "right kind of person" (tell you that story of the boyfriend before my husband another time).

Lupe and Simons are knocking it out of the park with their chemistry, comedic timing, and those micro-expressions that make metas like this so much fun.

Again, I'm not a fan of cheating story lines. It's just not my thing. But, I can see several paths forward that don't involve cheating.

Ultimately, I'm just a viewer, like you! I have no control over this wild ride. But, oh, it's a fun one!

Thanks for reading, loves. Can't wait to see what they have in store for Season 2!

[tokyo-tower-symbolism]

I've been meaning to get into the re:live game story for a while now, but I don't know how necessary the event stories are in comparison to the main and school stories...

do you have a recommended reading order for main story and events if the timeline makes them interspersed?

Uhh, there was this one good google doc that had a bunch of stuff like what stories were important for each character, but I cannot find that right now so I'll do my best from memory but honestly I might miss a couple things so my bad.

Edit: thank you @pallastronomy for finding the doc in question, i really wanted to read that again too

To read it you can go to the wikia, read it on karth.top, or look up the parts on Youtube. That last one might be the best since you'll get the full visual novel experience.

So first off I would suggest reading the first part of the story, so Main Story chapters 1-6. Well, suggest is a strong word. I think those chapters kinda suck, but I guess they're necessary for the premise and to introduce the characters? But then again they abandon the original premise half way in favor of the performance festival so whatever. And if you want a better introduction to the characters you should read the School Stories (ignoring SJH) and also maybe watch Shoujo Cante All Starlight. So really I don't suggest you read those chapters but

I think at this point you are can read the event stories from "Hello to Halloween" to "Surprise! Rehearsal Friends!"

And you don't need to read them all, but they're fun! I couldn't really tell you which ones are super important to the plot, sorry about that. Honestly my personal opinion at this point is to just pick a couple characters you like to follow and read their stories. You can see who participates in each one on the Revue Starlight wikia

Plus, character card bond stories! Each event has a couple gacha cards they're trying to sell, and sometimes they're not super related to the story, but sometimes they are. If someone references something that happened off screen, it either happened in an earlier event or in the bond card, but I'd still only read the bond cards once you're done reading the event is over since otherwise they can be spoilers. Just think of those as prequels instead of preludes.

Then at this point you can read Main Story Chapters 7-11. And I really do think you should read these since they are juicy. There's a new plot and we really get to dive deep into the ReLive characters and see their individual pasts and why they now stand on stage. It's great.

Now for the Event Stories, feel free to read any story from "Starry Diamond Tragic Orion" up until "Royal Retainer"

Although now I gotta bring up some caveats. Anything with Seiran is not going to matter to the main plot of ReLive, and if you're curious about them, then that gets into Stage Play Territory which is much easier to follow but not in ReLive.

And honestly same with the Seisho only stories. They're fun, don't get me wrong, but they kinda don't affect the developments of the cast at all.

Starry Diamond is a live show that had some Revues, so some of the relive events are just rehashings of those. Except Venus & Cupid Story, which is a sequel to Zeus no Chuusai from the Starry Diamond Live, and that revue is actually super important to the Yumeoji Sisters's story but it is not in ReLive.

And once you've had your fill of those stories, you can start reading Main Story Chapters 12-18, Arcana Arcadia. And this one is really good. Iirc, the main revue starlight writer came in for these parts. There's some info that directly leads into the movie. And it's honestly great.

But the issue is that there are intermission bond stories that need to be read in the middle of the chapters. If you are reading it online that can be kind of pain, but in the game I think it's in the right order? I could not say for sure since I don't actually play it. Anyways, here's the vague order according to the wikia, but I'm not 100% on this

Chapter 12: 1-2

Chapter 13: Tower, Hermit, Empress, 1-3, High Priestess, 4-5, Magician, 6-9, Hanged Man, Strength, 10-15

Chapter 14: Wheel of Fortune, Chariot, 1-2, Lovers, 3-14, Faith, Hierophant, 15

Chapter 15: 1-2, Devil, Sun, Justice, 3-15

Chapter 16: Death, Charity, 1-15

Chapter 17: Temperance, 1, Fool, 2-4, World, Judgement, 5-15

Chapter 18: Hope, 1-9, Emperor, 10-14, 15/Moon

So yeah, after this you have basically free reign to read the remaining event stories. The next big ongoing plot seems to be about Siegfeld Junior High, but that one also isn't really connected to the previous stories at all.

Also some cards have connecting bond stories even without events, such as the Frontier Rangers, Orpheus, Camelot, Snow White, and Yin-Yang.

But for real, I think the best way to get into the story is to read the main story and then see what characters you like. Then you can read along all their bond stories and events that they star in, and maybe you'll find other characters that stand out. If you are missing any information, usually characters will reference whatever they are talking about, so you won't be completely lost.

So yeah, I hope you have fun with the relive story! It touches on a lot of the themes from the show and honestly I just really liked seeing the characters again. And also Arcana Arcadia is great, just so great.

[notalkingbusiness]

The Book of Carol & The Heroine's Journey - Part 2: The Search

The Search sees our heroine in mission mode - she's left home and she's determined to find her loved one. She'll do whatever it takes to have them safe in her arms again.

According to Carriger, The Search's beats are as followed: the heroine being isolated, the heroine using disguise, the heroine finding friends to help her in her quest, and the heroine visiting the underworld. 

Ready to find out how these beats could be used in The Book of Carol?

(1) The heroine’s loss of family yields isolation/risk.

The heroine's mission takes her far from home, far from those who love and protect her.  

We all know that Carol can handle herself, but she's still going to be physically and emotionally vulnerable throughout her entire journey.

Carol is venturing into the unknown and she's going to be extremely isolated.

She's got no-one to watch her back.

She's also got no-one to hold her back and stop her from unnecessarily putting herself in danger.

The fact that Carol has no-one to hold her back is a worry because, like most of us, Carol doesn't always make the best decisions when she's in a bad headspace. Granted, things are different this time around. She's not indifferent as to whether she lives or dies like she was at the end of S6/S10b. She's not hellbent on revenge like she was in S10.

Spoiler Alert - I think mistaking a walker for Daryl will be the ultimate moment of isolation/risk for Carol, even if the actual scene is relatively short. What could be more isolating than the love of your life being a member of the undead? All the fight would drain out of her in that split second, she'd be ready to curl up and die.

We've seen how Carol reacts to her loved ones being zombified before, but Carol cared about these individuals in a familial and platonic capacity. I'm interested in seeing how the show makes it clear that this one is different - how this prospective loss wounds Carol like no other. Obviously, Melissa's acting choices will be doing the heavy lifting in this scene. As we know, her choices are always very expressive and she pays close attention to detail. Like, every micro expression has to be *perfect* level of detail. As attested by Khary Payton: "We were going through a scene once and she started to cry and she stopped and said she was sorry because she was crying for the wrong reasons. Most actors would be like, “Who cares? I’m crying. It’s the emotion needed.” She wanted it to be specific to the moment in time."

I have no doubt that Melissa will act her heart out throughout the whole show, I'm just hoping that the script is as strong as her performance. After Caryl reunite, I think Carol and Daryl need to have a conversation about that moment when she thought he was a walker. They need to use their words and explain their feelings for one another. We can't just rely on subtext, not when there are important conversations to be had.

Carol needs to explain why she can't lose Daryl. Daryl needs to explain why he can't lose Carol.

(2) The heroine employs disguise/subversion and alters her identity

The heroine is a shapeshifter. She employs disguise/subversion to keep her safe during her journey.

Carol is an expert when it comes to disguises and subversions. We've seen this many times on the flagship show: she somehow managed to steal a grenade without anyone noticing, she secretly stormed Terminus, she infiltrated the wolves, the list goes on.

In narratives, a good disguise or mask should be speaking to some deeper truth about the character. All masks should ultimately be revealing of their wearers.

I'm not entirely sure what Carol's disguise should look like in TBOC. It could be as simple as donning camouflage like she did just before the Terminus raid, or she could adopt a persona (like when she called herself Nancy). Either way, Carol's disguise should reveal a deeper truth about her - about where she's been and where she's going.

It's worth noting that these disguises/subversions don't have to be literal/physical. I think Carol could alter her identity in a symbolic and permanent way by dropping her last name. She could refuse to provide her last name every time she's asked for it. She could insist she's only to be known as Carol. Carol's name change is long overdue, and I think it would be quite fitting to finally drop Peletier (a surname of French origin) while on a quest to rescue Daryl in France.

Of course, after dropping her surname, Carol would be free to take any name she chooses. If we're lucky, we might get to see her call herself Carol Dixon before S2 closes. I want that to be the reason why she's wearing a ring.

I want her to be wearing that ring because Carol and Daryl chose each other.

(3) The heroine appeals to and forms a surrogate network (found family)

Heroines are social creatures. They don't want to go it alone, but the initial stages of their search forces them into isolation. Until they start making friends, that is.

This is where Ash comes in.

While we don't know the full extent of Ash's role, it seems likely that he's going to help Carol fly across the Atlantic - something she wouldn't be able to do by herself. This is textbook Heroine's Journey - this framework is all about collaboration and connection. Heroines like Carol don't privilege themselves above others - they're big enough to recognize when they need help. The heroine's friends make up for skills she's lacking and vice versa.

The Heroine's Journey provides writers with a great opportunity to create a diverse cast of supporting characters because the heroine is going to be encountering lots of different people on her quest. It's also important to stress that you can't have meaningful diversity and inclusion without depth. Minority characters, such as Ash, need to feel three-dimensional. We don't want him, or any of the supporting cast for that matter, to feel like non-player characters.

I want to emphasize that diversity behind the scenes is just as important as diversity on-screen. TWD wasn't always an inclusive space for minority writers and creatives.

In Conversations with Women Showrunners, Angela Kang shows what BIPOC creatives were up against. Writers of color, particularly black writers, would struggle in Georgia because there were symbols of the Confederacy everywhere. Some symbols were immediately obvious - like Confederate flags flying. Other symbols of a segregated past were baked into the built environment. For instance, the team would go location scouting and some buildings would have four bathrooms because they were built in an era of racial segregation.

In the early days of TWD, Angela Kang "went for days without seeing another person who was an Asian American other than the actor on my show, Steven Yeun [...] When I was on staff while Steven was there, there was a year when there was another Korean American writer on staff with me and it was so unusual at the time.  Like, there’s two of us!  That sounds so horrible, but it’s very common to be “the only one.”  And it becomes your job to represent every underrepresented group somehow.”  

Can you imagine the pressure of trying to represent every underrepresented group? No writer should be under that kind of pressure.

Things did get better on TWD; it slowly became a more inclusive and diverse show. Ultimately, Kang says she was proud of TWD's on-screen diversity. And she says that things were getting better behind the scenes - "It's not perfect, but we're trying".

TBOC needs to keep trying too. It would be beyond disappointing if TBOC went backwards in terms of representation. The end product would undoubtedly be poorer for it.

TBOC needs to carry the torch and keep trying to make the show more diverse and inclusive, both on-screen and behind the scenes. Diversity makes for a better show, as does listening to a multitude of different voices.

(4) The heroine visits the underworld, aided by friends and family

Visiting the underworld essentially means the moment of confrontation with the people who took the heroine's loved one.

I think we're probably going to get two big moments of confrontation in Carol's story. I think there's going to be one big fight just before Carol meets up with Daryl. After Carol and Daryl have reunited there's probably going to be another big confrontation so we can see Caryl fighting side by side.

I enjoy seeing Carol kicking ass and taking names as much as the next Carol fan, but action scenes are not the most important scenes for me. I don't want the action scenes and the moments of confrontation to overwhelm the narrative. Heroines don't care about revenge; they just want their loved one back. Carol and Daryl shouldn't be hunting down every last kidnapper/French tyrant. They should do their bit and then leave France as soon as possible. They need to leave Daryl's Parisian ordeal behind and pursue what's important to them.

The people in power need to remember that TWD resonated because it was a deeply human story. It was about ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances.

I'm watching TBOC because I care about Carol and Daryl. I want to see them together in every sense of the word. I want to see their shared future.

Final Thoughts on The Search

I don't know when Carol and Daryl will reunite, but The Search is likely going to take up a lot of Carol's screentime. It's really important that The Search keeps us engaged. I definitely don't want to see a stoic version of Carol who's only there to blow things up - that's not interesting to me. Blowing things up is not character growth for Carol.

Carol's search needs to stand on its own - it needs a solid emotional core.

The Search will feel rewarding and compelling in its own right if Carol has meaningful interactions with others. Strong dialogue is absolutely critical. Carol needs to talk about her feelings. She obviously won't be an open book to her new friends, but she could make some tentative steps towards admitting how she feels about Daryl. Laying this emotional groundwork will make Caryl's reunion a hundred times more powerful.

That's a wrap on The Search!

Do let me know if you have any thoughts or questions on this one.

Do you have any ideas as to how Carol might use disguise?

Do you have any thoughts on how the aftermath of *that scene* (spoiler listed above) should be handled?

What would you like to see in Carol's new friendships?

I hope you'll join me for The Ascent where everything will be coming up (Cherokee) roses for Carol and Caryl. I'm going to be talking about Caryl's reunion and what makes a good TV reunion. I'll also be talking about what comes next for Caryl and what we ultimately want for these two characters.

Thanks for reading :)

[wr1t3w1tm3]

The Outsiders a New Musical Cast Recording Reaction

Here you go @its-a-hare-pom-pom

Please note: I do not actually know the voices of who is who. I am having to assume who is who in some of the songs so I'm doing my best. I looked up a cast list for this. This is confusing and I'd need several more listens through to figure out who is and that's probably not gonna happen anytime soon (ya'll fill find out why in a later post).

Also, I curse a lot and there's a brief mention of suicide in my section on I could talk to you all night, so be warned.

Tulsa '67: Interesting how they changed Johnny's jumping to just a week before the events of the musical. I don't mind that change. I kinda like it? Maybe?

Okay. I need to rant a bit here. I grew up just a day's drive from Tulsa in a town not very dissimilar from it. Just switch East and West and you're halfway there. (Meaning in my city the East side was the old money and West was more of everyone else/the new money side of town).

Ponyboy's diatribe about how people get stuck in the town for life hits home for me because, like, of the nearly 300 person graduating class from my highschool, a vast majority of them went to school either in town or within the state. While I'm technically still in the state, I'm right across the river from our neighboring state so the line's a bit funky. I feel his longing to get the hell out. I feel the sort of resentment he feels towards Darry, who could've been a sports star had circumstances panned out differently. I feel his heartache for Soda when he mentions that his girlfriend up and left and broke his heart. My little sister and younger brother are both up-and-coming in similar ways to Darry (albeit a different sport for my sister) and Soda. The only real difference is that my family isn't just above the poverty line. In this economy maybe we're starting to slip down there, but if that's the only difference... shit. I'm in for a ride.

Moving on...

Grease got a Hold: I did watch the performance of this for Good Morning America or whatever it showed up on so this isn't my first time listening. This is the first time I can't tell who is who. I looked up the cast so I think the first singer is Dally? IDK. It's the whole gang except Johnny. This is when I discovered that Steve was in fact a named ensemble character.

Not my favorite song. But I'm sure that it introduces everyone well. I don't mind it, just def my least favorite of the ones I'd heard before.

Runs in the Family: I'm pretty sure it's a Darry song. Shit. I feel this song. I am literally Darry in this song, except I have parents, they're just not around a whole lot due to work.

I think I mentioned here that I work at a Nursing home. And especially during the winter if I worked twelves (luckily I'm PRN, so I can pick up shorter shifts) I'd be in before the sun and out after it. That is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. You feel like you didn't do a damn thing but your so tired you can't do anything so you end up getting down and just scrolling while you eat and you barely have energy to grab something to eat. Had I not been still living at home I would have just gone through a drive through. You are a different kind of tired after a long day of taking people to the toilet and passing meds and working with memory care patients as they sundown.

So while I'm not a roofer, I'm not out every night working till midnight, I think I can relate to Darry the best out of the three here, being an eldest daughter an all especially. I like this song as a character set up, though I have to point out it sounds like he's whining but I also know I've done this so like... I can't complain if I wanna keep my whining privileges.

Great Expectations: This is the first song out, I'm sure we've all heard it. It's about Ponyboy relating to Pip, one of the characters in the book Great Expectations I think by Charles Dickens. I never read it in school I think due to Covid so...

That being said, great song. Still very much relate to him and his wanting to get the hell outta town but feeling trapped by family and obligations. Like I get the kid is only fourteen, and S.E. Hinton was about this age when she wrote this but it is raw and I still feel it.

Come on, we've all felt like everyone expects everything of us and have just wanted to get swept up in a fictional reality where shit is hard but we know everything will be just fine in the end, right? Right?

The line about Darry hits harder after Runs in the Family. His bit about Johnny has always hit me too, because I've always wondered (anxiously, of course) about what my life would've been like had I been born to different parents. And as much as I think about that, pretty sure I'm lucky to have what I have and I'll take it over worse.

Friday at the Drive-in: So there is also a drive in in my city, and I've been several times. I freakin' love it, and it's kind of sad that they're disappearing. This chapter/scene/song has always been a favorite of mine in all Outsiders media. I love Cherry's actress. She's able to do a more country/southern accent without it sounding like a characture. Kudos to her. I'm sure this song is really cool to see in person.

I Could Talk to You All Night: Confession time: I don't like Cherry. I understand that maybe she does have a rough life, but it has always rubbed me wrong the way she told Ponyboy it's "rough all over". Bitch, both his brothers work to keep their house you shut up. Like I went through highschool with my mom hurt, grandpa dying, Covid, a whole lotta other shit and some kid literal told me to off myself b/c I got in his space while practicing a tap number for the musical. Also, I was working through the entire school year. It wasn't terribly uncommon among my peers, but to be in the musical was a sacrifice on my part and we just... we couldn't see under each others skin. My school was on the west side and his family was new money, so I guess he and Cherry are alike in my eyes in that way (even had the same hair, lol). I didn't know what was going on with him and I guess when he broke up with his gf (she was a senior and he was a junior) he got better.

That being said, I really like Cherry's character in this song. They see each other beyond the labels for the first time in their lives. It sort of feels like a love song, but also not so much, and I really dig it. I may eat my words later but I like this version of Cherry. She comes off a lot less snooty than book/movie Cherry. Its so cute.

Runs in the Family (Reprise): Shit. Darry. Okay. The silent oldest sibling burden has fucking snapped. Bro. This is so good. Seeing what all was going on behind his outburst at Ponyboy. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm even more in love with Darry's character. Shit. The oldest sibling being a parent when the parents aren't there. The younger siblings all leading into it. The abrupt stop that is Darry slapping Pony. I wanna scream IT IS SO FREAKINNG WELL DONEOAWE RUH!!!!!! I can practically hear Pony throwing open the screen door and Darry yelling back that he didn't mean it!I@ :OUhoihlacwijhr ;iuaweh' riu

Far Away From Tulsa: Oh, oh Pony. You're innocene it showing honey. This is the one thing I feel I've got on him is that I actually live on the edge of town, so I really live within a smattering farm fields and disappearing small farm towns. Those people will be judgey as hell, they will stalk you anyway possible to get info on you and there will be rumors. Like I love that you two have a dream, but we're getting into Of Mice and Men territory with Lenny and George (is that his name?) with the rabbit farm.

Also, are they changing Pony and Johnny's motivations? Obviously I'd have to watch this but this sounds like they might be changing their motivations a bit.

The transition into Great Expectations!!! The leitmotif!??! The key change?!?!?! HOLY FUCKING SHITHLIUWE RHF AIVCWH TLGIUAWEHCFIUHA. I'm screaming!!!!! But they're dream sounds like a cowboy western fantasy. And the ending where they talk about that not being in Tulsa... realy gives me pause. I think maybe their motivations changed just a bit? BUt IDK cause I'll never get to fuckin' watch this because I am but a poor midwesterner and Broadway is a bitch.

Run Run Brother: Shit. I love this. The little boys coming to Dally. The only one they can trust to know this. This is the loss of innocence in real time. The implication that he gave them all he had (the 50 bucks) is realized here. The song sounds so frantic. Aggggg. It's so good.

The background: if you're not born into money your born into despair? The background singers are great. Grease isn't given its something you earn??? Shit. Run through the fire your bound to get burned? They really like using fire as a symbol (for obvious reasons).

The transition into "You're a Greaser now and you ain't going back?" Like he literally cannot go back. Johnny killed a kid and Ponyboy would be tried as an accomplice probably. Cheezits this is so fucking good! The wrapping back to earlier songs is so freaking well done! The desperation in whoevers voice pointing out the sign to Windrixville? I love.

Justice for Tulsa: Did they come up with a new character? Are there others? Is this the Greasers talking to each other? Immediatly suspecting Dally? So they added the interrogation that he mentions he got brought into.

Is Cherry at Bob's funeral? Honey, he's an asshole. Like I get he could've been cool but gees. I'm torn up about her. They made her way more complicated. So far I'm glad for Dally and Cherry's sake that they added this scene.

Is this Darry or Soda? No. It's a Soc. Is it Randy? Oh I love his voice. Shit, is she grilling him? She's talking about Johnny. Randy. Are they getting onto her for talking with Pony. What she did wasn't wrong? Yeah, it's a senseless tragedy. If you pushed him into it.

So this is the explanation of how they started jumping Greasers and how that tension switched things up. This might be the Act break? But I'm not sure.

Death's at My Door: Is he talking about his parents dying?

Oof. I feel him. So in my life I had a series of deaths where my grandma died, then two years later my grandpa died (different sides of the family), then a kid at my college died going home for winter break. Then a girl from my highschool died going back to school after winter break. Then working at a nursing home every time, I come back someone else is dead. So, I feel that sentiment that it feels like death is following you. But that is just growing up, and I think this is Ponyboy finally sort of coming to that realization a bit.

Are they adding romantic elements to Pony and Johnny's relationships, or is this just really flirty platonic stuff? Because now I'm confused. And I'm someone who does really flirty platonic shit with my friends.

Throwing in the Towel: Oh it's a Darry song. Oh. Darry feels guilty. Shit. Okay. Is he making up with Soda? I'm a bit upset that Soda has been jipped in here. Long list of failures, same here Darry.

Oh. Soda. Soda, ever the middle child. Trying to keep the peace, trying to hype Darry up. Their being the brothers we always knew they would.

There little harmony part is so good!

Soda's Letter: I have heard this one as well. We are finally getting a Soda song!! But still, ever the middle child, trying to keep the peace between the oldest and the youngest. Dammit. I like that they added context to the letter, since it's a bit briefer in the book/movie.

The fade in of Pony singing over Soda is so good.

Hoods Turned Heroes: I love the name on this. I think this is Two-Bit singing this. Interesting that they skipped over the fire incident and Johnny talking to them at Dairy Queen. I like that it's Soda and Two-Bit in this song. I love them as a duo. And I love that we get a Greaser son in response to Justice for Tulsa.

Interesting how they changed it to 1st degree murder for Johnny's charge, because it was manslaughter and I seriously doubt there's enough evidence to even get second degree murder.

Hopeless War: Another Pony and Cherry song. I do like the musical duo of them so far. He's not wrong about the soc's declaring the war. Cherry's also not wrong, but girlfriend, your privelage is showing.

Shit, she got a point about black and white morality. "Same mistake a thousand times" "Doing what we've all been raised to do."

Shit. I like this version of Cherry. This sounds like a country love ballad and I am all here for it. Seems like act 2, like many musicals I've seen, has fewer/shorter songs.

Geez, Cherry. Okay. I still like the Cherry best out of all of them. But girl, you've gotta understand that this kids got more skin in the game than you do. Girl. IDK, this version of Cherry is just more nuanced and I think that's what she needed.

Trouble: The way Hopeless War tansitions into this song is so fucking good!!!!

So I don't know if this is at the park or the Gang going to the park but holy shit. I love this. Is Darry trying to keep Pony out? Or is Dally? Who is telling him not to fight? Didn't book Darry let him fight??!

Little Brother: I have heard this one before as well. It's a Dally song, and it still makes me awe;u hgseruig. This is my favorite version of the Dally and Johnny relationship because it solidifies the brotherhood and the way that Dally see's Johnny. It's done fairly well in the book but the musical makes it much more clear. Even the movie does it pretty well but I like that it's a bit more spelled out here.

I think I've heard all of these last three songs so they'll maybe be a bit more in depth. Also, I am gonna say this now Grease got a Hold is growing on me as I type.

I don't really like how Johnny feels very shoe horned to the side in this version of events.

Is... is someone singing with him on the second little brother in the first chorus? Could that be Darry or am I just trippin'?

I love the way that they show Dally's descent. Oh. There's a chorus on here with him. They put a different version out on YouTube with just Dally on it. Holy shit. Holy shit!!!! I love his voice so much. When are the lyrics gonna be up I gotta see who sings what in here damn it!!!

Dally. Shit. The part where the music strips and then starts building. This will never not give me shivers. I love the orchestration on this version!

The now into no!!!!! ;jfh;ajwerhf;ija uvaiwrhf;aiu3wh I AM NOT OKAY!!!

Stay Gold: This hurts like a son of a bitch still. I can't really put my words on here, but it really is written like someone who knows they're gonna die and they're wanting to give their family a final message. Which is something you can do on hospice nowadays, but wouldn't have been avaliable in the 60's.

Can't believe we had to wait the whole musical for a Johnny solo song. But I love the touch that a man came to thank Johnny for saving the kids, because in the book that's not mentioned and neither in the movie and I like that touch. They added just a few scenes and all were very well done if not honestly needed.

The fading of Ponyboy reading it with Johnny will never not get me. They use this technique so well throughout the musical. But again with me questioning if this is platonic flirty friend shit or Johnny and Pony being romantically involved somehow? I lean towards platonic flirty friends due to the time period and the fact that they're both on the younger side... but geez.

Johnny telling Pony to tell Dally, when we know Dally is dead and Dally asked him to save a seat and just owehtouwaehrt;ouiawe I am not okay. Will never not hurt.

Finale (Tulsa '67): Is this an older Pony on the first line? Does he get out? Or is that his teacher reading it? Like the acknowledgement of Paul Newman.

Oh. This is so sweet, him turning to the hometown heroes, the little everyday ones.

He got out!!!!!! Him talking about Darry and Soda!!

Ah! They took the one paragraph directly out of the book!!!

Dally!!! Wearing grease for their disguise? Holy shit. Bro. You are killing it! Killing it! The chorus entering!!?!?! The excerpts directly from the book!

"He was just to damn good for growing old? And for his memory I'll stay gold!?!?!??!" Holy shit okay. Emotional damage dealt. You didn't have to do that.

I love me a legacy explaning final number. Shit. I love this. Beautiful ending. I love the jazzy bits.

My phone immediatly jumped me to Non-Stop by Hamilton. Fuck you spotify, didn't need that now.

Final Thoughs: Unfortunately, this is not like Hamilton in the sense that the entire freaking musical minus one song that not terribly necessary for context is on spotify. There are chunks of context missing that make me wonder how else they may have changed the story. If you're someone who's first exposure to the outsiders is this, you're gonna be left with a lot of questions. Luckily, you've got a book and two versions of a Francis Ford Coppala movie, but if this was a stand alone I think I'd be leaving the cast recording fairly confused.

I think it's amazing. I did find out while finding a cast list to compare to the featured artists that Steve is still a character. I also wonder if they're gonna release the track they use for the rumble, since I think that's a seperate track with no real singing? IDK man. I wanna see that so fucking bad.

A little mad about how they downgraded Soda and Two-Bit. I know Two-Bit was more of a minor character but it really felt like Soda got the short end of the stick here. Same with Steve, though he already had the short end so it was only a matter of time. Two-Bit makes sense despite my love of him so I kind of expected that.

Overall, I do like this, but it feels a bit incomplete as I believe some of the most critical plot details have been left for portions of the musical that are acted or spoken, which sucks for us broke ass plebs who don't live within driving distance of Broadway.

So long friends.

[pippytmi]

Kacy exes era was definitely something and so was your fic

All of those angsty prompts are sooooo good. The first one where it's late but you can't sleep so you show up at their door in pajamas 😭😭

Fully imagining Kate turning into peak Season 1 mean girl cause she isn't getting enough sleep and is making it everyone else's problem too and then Lucy also can't sleep and it's effecting her performance out in the field so Jane tells her to take a long weekend and catch up on sleep but she can't cause she can't sleep without snuggling right up into Kate

thank you omg i hope I lived up to the the angsty kacy post-exes era 🫡🫡🫡

and holy shit wait i can 100% see the vision for the sleep one? like. jane notices that lucy isnt doing her best and tells her point blank “whatever you need to get well-rested” so when kate opens her front door at midnight she is understandably very, very confused. totally imagine the scene going like this:

////

Kate answers the door with an (appropriate) amount of apprehension due to the time of night, but it melts away into soft, plain confusion when she sees Lucy standing there. “Lucy,” she says, quietly, sounding vaguely hopeful and relieved and—Lucy absolutely cannot allow that. 

(The hope, anyway).

“Hi,” Lucy says firmly, “I need to sleep here. Tonight.” She reconsiders her words a little and amends, “Please.”

“Is there something wrong with your apartment?” Now Kate looks concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Everything's fine. Can I—can we take this inside? Your neighbors will really hate me otherwise.”

“Yeah, of course.” Kate steps back to let Lucy in, watching her with that patient, perplexed furrow of her brow, and Lucy is extremely mad that she still finds it cute.

“Jane told me to come here,” Lucy says, once they're standing together in the living room and Lucy is pointedly avoiding eye contact. “Well not here specifically, she just made me take time off to get some rest and…well, she might have mentioned that you're a little off yourself. In her usual cryptic way.”

“Off?” Kate echoes, frowning. “Off how?”

“Well you've been a little—prickly. More than usual. At least, that's what my team has been saying, I haven't noticed anything.” That's a lie, but Lucy is trying very hard to show she doesn't care what Kate Whistler is up to nowadays. 

(Showing up today is just. A brief lapse in judgment). 

Kate crosses her arms. “I've been nothing but professional. If they sent you to complain—”

“That's not why I'm here, okay?” Lucy pauses to exhale deeply. “I can't sleep. I'm driving my team crazy and Jane finally told me to take some time off and…I think I just can't sleep without you.”

“Oh.” Kate blinks, outwardly stunned, and her frown falls entirely. “Does this mean—”

Lucy doesn't let her finish. “I don't want to talk about us,” she says. “I don't want to listen to you explain, or…or anything. I just want to sleep, and obviously, it needs to happen in your bed or it won’t happen at all.” She pauses. “If you’re fine with it, anyway.”

Kate just stares, for a moment. “Is this…wise?” she finally asks. “The ramifications of getting used to being around each other could be…” 

“Don’t analyze it,” Lucy protests. “And don’t look at me like I’m crazy. I just need one night of sleep or I’ll actually kill someone. Can we just, take it one day at a time here?”

“Okay.” Kate bites her lip, looks down and doesn’t look back up. “Sure. We can just stay together tonight and figure the rest out later.”

The act of giving in is very uncharacteristic for Kate Whistler, and deep down, Lucy knows why Kate is agreeing. She knows why Kate is so willing to let Lucy back into her bed despite their issues. And she knows why Kate is currently gently clearing off Lucy’s side of the bed that is so obviously slept-on instead of Kate’s usual side.

But Lucy pushes those thoughts deep, deep down, and instead buries her face into a pillow and listens to Kate’s uneven breathing. “I can hear you thinking,” she says, feels Kate shift behind her. “Relax, okay? We’re just two people…sleeping next to each other…to get one night of rest. It doesn’t have to be weird.”

Kate gives a huff of a disbelieving laugh. “Right,” she mumbles. “Not weird at all.”  

Already, Lucy feels like this is working, all exhaustion melting out of her body as she sighs. “You can touch me, you know.”

Kate coughs. “What?!”

“It it helps you sleep,” Lucy yawns, eyes already closed as she pulls the blanket a little tighter. She has an explanation on the tip of her tongue about how she knows Kate likes the grounding ability to touch, but it fades when sleep comes.

(She swears, though, that she feels the faintest brush of Kate’s fingertips at her waist right before it does).

[jeffgerstmann]

So apparently AEW pays well and that's bad?

I know a couple of current WWE folks who definitely got better contracts simply because AEW existed and, thus, created a world where people might jump ship and go somewhere else.

But yeah, I don't know, people are fuckin' crazy. That said, with all of the recent free agent talk going around and that article that is all "WWE needs to look in the mirror about why they keep losing free agents to AEW," I think that's a little off the mark.

Like, yes, in a theoretical, big-picture kind of way the WWE should probably ask themselves why people would want to work anywhere else. And they can chalk it up to "well, we've had some negative press lately" or "this person just didn't want to work as many dates" or whatever. Each case will be different. But I think in the three recent cases cited, there are very real life reasons why none of those three would go with WWE. It's great that the offer from AEW was better and, honestly, I think those signees will easily find more success in AEW than they would in WWE.

Like let's not kid ourselves here: WWE could have offered Okada a fuckton of money, but would he actually make a meaningful mark in the WWE? He'd come in, the announcers would have to spend a ton of time educating the audience on why he matters because most of their audience doesn't watch anything else, and he'd probably just end up being the next foreign heel. The types of great matches he had in NJPW aren't really the kinds of things that WWE is looking for or especially needs more of. They'd probably rush him into a main event program for three months or so and then do something embarrassing with him. He'd be tagging with Nakamura in a team with a vaguely racist-sounding name or something shitty like that. He'd be another amazing performer in search of a meaningful storyline and the WWE's midcard is fucking stuffed full of guys like that right now. He'd be losing to Karrion Kross by Survivor Series.

Tack on the notion that WWE's business is doing really well and they're selling tickets everywhere they go and inventing new, more evil forms of revenue all the time and it's easy to see that WWE doesn't need Okada. They need to be making sure that they have a fresh crop of young talent ready to take over when the current headliners fall off or move on. At 36, Okada isn't quite that guy.

However, Okada is a great fit for AEW and its audience. Too good, actually. I mean I don't think he'll be a "needle mover" on the ratings because anyone in this country who knows who Okada even is already watches AEW. They're super-serving their audience. They're "building golden toilets" for their fanbase. As someone who really likes that shit, I'm stoked. But the weirdo ratings nuts online who live and die by television ratings are melting down over "is Okada a draw or not" or something. And I think it'd probably be obvious to anyone who really sat down and thought about it that Okada wasn't ever going to drag in a whole new American audience.

I'd say mostly the same thing about Ospreay. He'd become the leader of the Catch Wrestling Crew or whatever the fuck they're called now.

The other thing I'd say is that, over time, a better program will probably attract a larger audience. So AEW's programming is better by way of these new signings. They're great performers and I think they both have the ability to be super big in the US for years to come, provided they're working somewhere that plays to their strengths.

Bringing Sasha Banks over to AEW has a chance to bring in new audience since she had a level of fame here in the States already and, hey, maybe fans of hers weren't already watching AEW. It's possible! Punk did it, right? We'll see. That might immediately make her more valuable than Ospreay and Okada. That said, there are already a ton of women that I'd love to see more of on AEW TV, so inserting another star at the top of that division kinda rubs me the wrong way.

Either way, I think these three specific cases are, well, specific enough that trying to use this to claim that WWE is "losing out" on this free agency stuff is probably wrong. They know how much they're willing to spend on an individual talent, they've been at this long enough to have a pretty good idea how some of these people are likely to monetize once they get there, and they're simply not going to overspend on any talent anymore because they're really focused on trying to bring in new talent and raise them up through their system. For all we know, AEW overspent on all three.

But they aren't spending my money, so fuck it! It's awesome! I only get mad when the people I want to see are locked behind the ROH paywall. Like Athena! Put her on real TV, she's fantastic! What the fuck!

[btsbs]

With all due respect, I'm starting to think kpop fans were actually born yesterday. Even western celebrities and influencers acknowledge fanfic. I remember back in the 2000's, two members of tvxq talked about fanfic and one jokingly complained that they were always the "woman" in the stories. Singular fanfics aren't necessarily indicative of anything, but fanfic across the board is actually a pretty good indicator of how members of a group are viewed by the fandom, and it'd be insane to think celebrities or their companies wouldn't monitor that. For example, if a member is routinely villainized in stories where a certain pair is the focus of the fanfic, that might indicate bigger issue brewing in that group of shippers.

As an aside, that list of ships is made up. I read the actual hybe report and the only mentioned "ships" were nct and maybe one other group, nowhere did they provide any extensive list about ships they monitor. Pretty sure that list is just the popular ship list from postype (korean ao3).

So I’ve addressed the list already, but I’m going to take this opportunity to address your other point about companies monitoring fan fic overall. Regardless of whatever specific ship list we do or do not have proof of Hybe monitoring.

I mostly agree with you, celebrities have been aware of fan fic for decades, but most of the conversation about it has been more of a casual acknowledgement that it exists without going much deeper. Perhaps it was always a bit different within kpop, I haven’t been here that long but if you were following tvxq in the 2000’s it seems like you have been. The concept of the fourth wall has been eroding as social media has changed the way both fandom and every day life exists on the internet. The fourth wall is basically the imaginary wall that separates performers from an audience. As a fan you are aware you are watching a show, with music it’s a bit different than theatre as some interaction is expected at a concert, but the encore ends and fans share their excitement with each other and the band goes home and the wall is fully back up. In kpop maybe the wall was never quite as high, but I think my general discomfort with the idea of Hybe execs reading and discussing fan fics has to do with this blurring of lines in fandom culture. Which is also much bigger than just fan fic.

When I was younger and in the BSB fandom at their peak, fandom had only been online for a handful of years. We lived in message boards, ezines, random angelfire and geocities pages that functioned similar to a tumblr blog but without the connection. Search engines were not great, and you had to HUNT for fics. Things were starting to move over to livejournal as I stepped away from fandoms in general for over a decade- but there was no ao3, a perfect categorized library where you can find the most random specific fic you want in no time at all. Because it is so well organized, it makes it so much easier to track metrics. It wasn’t being done before because it was impossible to do, but the impossibility of it let the fourth wall carry over from the physical space (like a concert) to the internet. It was like that for a long time, until maybe 5-10 years ago.

The fourth wall is important because not every fan wants everything they say, do, or create to actually get back to the artist. We behave differently when we think they might be watching. Weverse has proved that there is some demand for a space like this, but I also think it’s just as important for fandom to have spaces that aren’t. Where we can be a little unhinged at times, share art or writing where the target audience is other fans and not the actual artist. Maybe you’re trying to teach yourself to draw or graphic design using your fav idol and you don’t really want your first attempts actually getting in front of their gaze. Maybe it’s just nice to have a space where you can say your fav wore an ugly sweater and *know* they’re not looking at that platform to ever see it.

To me, fan fic is in that domain. Fans write it for other fans to enjoy, and it feels like a fourth wall break for a company to be mining in there for market research and song inspiration. As much as I very much understand your point about why it’s done, I think it’s fair for us to ask if it should be done. Do we want it to be done. What if people start posting empty fics with their fav ship tags so their favs can have the best numbers, like people do now with streaming bragging rights. Does every aspect of fandom culture have to be a metric, a data point, a tool for more competition and consumerism?

I also think that if I was a famous person, the existence of fic wouldn’t bother me. If fans are writing it, reading it, staying on their side of the wall- it doesn’t impact the life of the celebrity much if at all. I listened to a podcast once, where they discussed hockey fandom drama over certain hockey fans screaming at the players about ships and fics from the sidelines at games and it made the players and their partners uncomfortable- which is fair, fans are climbing over the fourth wall. In this instance, it feels like Hybe may be crossing over the wall from the other side. Knowing it exists and having to confront it in your day to day life are two different things. The artists themselves also deserve to use the internet and live life with some protection from our wildest thoughts getting delivered directly into their laps as well. The fourth wall protects everyone, and Hybe potentially mining fan fic data is just another chip away at it.

[bimtheory]

Trying to watch Marilyn Monroe films again because I feel like it's impossible to write a book about bimbos and not mention Marilyn, but it's proving to be difficult.

I'm trying my best, but I just can't figure out what people find special about her. And it's so hard to find any sort of truth. There are so many made up quotes and misconceptions just to further this narrative of Marilyn as the ultimate victim, people treat her like a martyr. If she's not being discussed and treated as a sex symbol she's being used as a symbol for tragedy, and would Marilyn even want that?

In a 1962 interview published by Life Magazine a day before her death, she had this to say:

"I don’t mind being burdened with being glamorous and sexual. But what goes with it can be a burden. Like the man was going to show me around but the woman said, “Off the premises.” I feel that beauty and femininity are ageless and can’t be contrived, and glamour, although the manufacturers won’t like this, cannot be manufactured. Not real glamour, it’s based on femininity. I think that sexuality is only attractive when it’s natural and spontaneous. This is where alot of them miss the boat. And then something I’d just like to spout off on. We are all born sexual creatures, thank God, but it’s a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift. Art, real art, comes from it, everything. I never quite understood it, this sex symbol. I always thought symbols were those things you clash together! That’s the trouble, a sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing. But if I’m going to be a symbol of something I’d rather have it sex than some other things they’ve got symbols of! These girls who try to be me, I guess the studios put them up to it, or they get the ideas themselves. But gee, they haven’t got it. You can make alot of gags about it like they haven’t got the foreground or else they haven’t the background. But I mean the middle, where you live."

And, later in the interview:

"It might be a kind of relief to be finished. It’s sort of like, I don’t know, what kind of a yard dash you’re running, but then you’re at the finish line and you sort of see you’ve made it! But you never have. You have to start all over again. But I believe you’re always as good as your potential. I now live in my work and in a few relationships with the few people I can really count on. Fame will go by and, so long, I’ve had you fame. If it goes by, I’ve always known it was fickle. So at least it’s something I experienced, but that’s not where I live."

None of this is paraphrased. And, personally, it sounds to me like she rather be remembered for being a sexy actress than whatever this is:

But a lot of people who claim to be Marilyn Monroe fans or even just mention her don't seem to care about or have any actual interest in her. Unfortunately, I think Andrew Dominik may have been right in that (most) people are not watching her films. I have friends that won't even touch movies from before 1980, let alone the 50s. And watching the clip of her performing Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend on YouTube is not watching one of her movies.

Marilyn is invoked when people want to a sort of classy sexuality, or beautiful "feminine" tragedy, which is bullshit.

But anyway, like I was saying, I don't get the appeal. And it's hard to find any writing approaching her honestly and critically instead of constant "she was a perfect angel that could do no wrong"-tier glazing. I don't mean to be rude; I have nothing against her, and her life did seem tragic in some respects, but it always feels like the praise outweighs the reality of the material. Like people felt bad having been so judgmental about her after the circumstances of her death that they overshot trying to make up for it and Marilyn became indicative of the tragedy and mistreatment of every woman, a myth that has been passed down for generations at this point.

I don't know. That's just how it seems to me. I read people talk about how great of an actress she really was, but I don't see it, and people conveniently always forget to explain how she was a good actress or what made her so great, just "she trained at The Actor's Studio!", a lot of actors did.

[pretty-little-martyr]

for some reason am remembering the episode from the 2003 show Dead Like Me that featured 2003's best case scenario at having cis people write a trans woman and how much I genuinely enjoyed that episode. the premise of the show for anyone not familiar (which is probably everyone) was that Grim Reapers were real, were the recently deceased who were randomly picked for the job, and had to individually collect people once they died and pass them on to whatever personal heaven they'd envisioned. the Reapers often aren't given much info about who is going to die and therefore have to talk to people around them to learn the name of the to-be-deceased. and that episode takes place in the lobby of a plastic surgeons office where there's a bunch of ladies and One Dude (character is actually a trans woman, but played by a cis man because. y'know. 2003 American cable television.). she's there to get all of the surgeries done at once (not how that works .... again, 2003 cis writers) to finally "transform into the woman she was always meant to be" [paraphrased] and it always really stuck with me because 1) the actors performance was so .. genuine. she was excited to be there because she had waited her whole life to do this. and she wasn't very young either. 30 or 40 perhaps. an extremely convincing and earnest performance from a presumably cis man. 2) the show handled her with genuine grace. it wasn't funny that she was in there, it was funny that our main character George (cis girl who goes by that name, very interesting from a trans angle as well) was like "why's a dude in here" before learning that the character was not a man just "looked like one." 3) it treated her subsequent death as a genuine tragedy. the thing is with each of the humans we get introduced to we know they're gonna die. and for the most part the deaths are silly and bizarre—one dude slips on a banana peel and gets his neck broken by a revolving door, one person drowns to death under a water cooler, etc—but this one wasn't. I don't actually remember how she died because I can't find the goddamned show anywhere and you can't buy it, either, it got canned after 2 seasons anyway, but I remember George being genuinely heartbroken that the trans woman didn't get to live the life she wanted to. and it's of course all quite clumsy and inept because it's 2003 and they clearly either didn't have a trans person in the writing room or one of the writers mayhap didn't know they're trans yet, I have no idea, but in light of how many frankly disgusting portrayals of trans people and trans women in particular I saw on TV growing up that one has always stuck with me for the tender and serious way the subject was handled.

there's probably an entire essay to be had about both that whole episode and a transmasc reading of George. that show wasn't one that cracked my egg I don't think, because when I first saw it I was too young to parse the idea (I was somewhere between 10 and 13), but it was my first introduction to the idea of being trans. I rewatched it in 2019 when it was briefly on Amazon because my college email acct gave me free Prime Streaming and god the episode hit me like a truck. I'm pretty sure I cried. I want to watch it again and really dissect it because its lack of mockery in a time when it was very much in vogue to mock trans women fascinates me.

im also pretty sure I remember that after the woman passed, the other Reapers misgender her casually because again, 2003, they're acting like she wasn't a woman yet, but I think George notably doesn't. I may be misremembering though. I do remember George being deeply, deeply upset by the unfairness of her death though.

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty ... review ... lord give me strength

I am already crying in frustration just looking at the recap, guys, this acting is BAD.

This is going to be a mean review. Like me and initiumseries watching Shadowhunters sober mean. You've been warned.

"Belly, I think about you. I do. You know I do." CAN YOU HAVE SOME EMOTION IN YOUR VOICE PLEASE?

"How am I supposed to jump into things with Jeremiah when a piece of my heart still beats for his brother." WHO. SPEAKS THIS WAY. WHO? Even in your most angsty, teenage-y, write bad poetry phase who SAYS that? YOU WRITE THAT IN YOUR JOURNAL OR YOUR BAD POETRY.

Y'all, this is JUST me reacting to the recap. I don't know if I can survive this.

Do I hate something more than Bridgerton? Is that possible?

I was about to be like is a voiceover necessary for this show but considering how horrible the acting is, they need the voiceover to communicate the emotions to the audience because the actors sure as hell aren't.

"Escaping to your dreams is easier than living with your memories" we don't need voiceover for everything though. Oh my god, I hate this show.

OK here is the thing with Conrad and Belly? is that it? She's trying way too hard to perform that giddy can't stop smiling, twirly feeling that it just looks like fidgeting because they don't ACTUALLY vibe

He looks like he's reaching for an emotion and she looks like Robert Pattinson on the set of Twilight, she's not even going to try, she's checked out

This is why I didn't want to do this review because I was like, it seems like anons love this show and I really, really, really won't. And of course there's nothing wrong with loving this show and loving this ship or whatever else ship there is, like do your thing absolutely, but like faaaaaaaam, this is BAD for me.

"You're it for me, Belly" jesus christ you're like 12.

"I don't want to hurt Jere" "Me neither!" Really? Because you seem PERFECTLY okay with doing so. HAHAHA is this going to be another edwina thing?

Y'all can't even SNEAK properly, like have any of them acted before this?

Like she keeps doing little head movements to show how giddy and swirly she's feeling

and I get it because that's what you do when you feel that way but if there was actual chemistry here, it would be natural

like even when they're "caught"

Dawson and Joey did that better (and I'm using them specifically because lou sent me an article I did not read that said this show was the best teen show since Dawson's Creek and I had to laugh)

like this is the this-is-really-funny-but-we're-nervous twirly behaviour and they vibe.

Like I should be getting this kind of energy

Are there any young dark-skinned boys on this show? What's going on?

I can't deal with the combination overacting and underacting.

It's summer, why is the guidance counsellor JUST having this conversation with her?

LMAO I don't know the circumstances because I didn't watch season 1 but for real Belly looks shitty here.

BUT I SHOULD BE GETTING DAWSON AND JOEY ANGST HERE, MAN. Like, it's clearly supposed to be that kind of scene because they say the same type of things that Dawson and Joey say to each other when he finds out about Pacey but Dawson and Joey are MESSY, it's DRAMA

I can't deal with the contained, neat, manufactured, non-emoting yet somehow over-acting yet somehow monotonous, sluggishly paced gen z teen dramas. I CAN'T DO IT.

I'm just wondering if that anon is reading this ... how is Conrad the best actor exactly?

Like no one is, but why him? "No matter what happens, we'll still be infinite" in the FLATTEST voice with the FLATTEST expression?

it's not Lucas confidence

or Stefan sincerity

or Seth desperation

or Chuck conviction

it's just this

hard. pass.

y'all it's been 15 minutes.

her brother's valedictorian speech is neither funny nor clever, I don't know if I can make it through an entire episode, this show makes me violent.

I'm skipping this speech.

Now I'm suddenly thinking of Rory's valedictorian speech, I don't remember it but I feel like rather than it being a speech to uplift her fellow graduates it was just about her and her life in Stars Hollow.

They're supposed to be SO CLOSE that they call each other family and EVERYONE IS SO AWKWARD and STIFF.

At the very least one of them should be painting the other's toenails or she should be stroking Belly's hair or SOMETHING to show that they're like family.

I'm tired of hearing extra being used because no one uses it properly but ANYWAY, moving on.

like I can't be expected to take this seriously

that's just like going THERE. THERE.

like I believe the excitement in her face more than I have believed ANYTHING ELSE that has happened so far but I mean ...

Like are you two siblings? Like what's going ON here, man.

He did not deserve to go viral.

Are the parents divorced or are they just devoid of looking like they know each other like everyone else on this show?

The mother's views on not promoting her book don't make sense, then she shouldn't have published it. Also how long ago did Susannah die? Like a year ago? Because it takes, at minimum, two years to traditionally publish a book, you have to write it, you have to do at the very least three rounds of edits with the editor then at least a couple of rounds with the copy editor then it needs to be formatted, then there's the cover, then there's sending ARCs to other authors for blurbs, then if there's an audiobook there' auditions for actors, like there's a whole process but anyway.

OK can we drop the whole "I don't snore" banter -- and I use that word so loosely -- is there nothing else to banter about?

They are so boring to listen to.

I don't know how it is in the States but if you're taking trig in the 11th grade/junior year then you chose to take trig so you would be good at trig.

"You know every time I think of him I still get this, like, pain in my chest" she said, dully.

Milo looks like wannabe Dylan O'Brien being wannabe Machine Gun Kelly

So. Boring. To listen to. It also doesn't help that Belly sucks at telling a story. Why do I care about the guy Katie was seeing? You barely seem to care ma'am.

YOU'RE MY SOBER DRIVER. Do cabs not exist here?

This blow up with her brother should be LOUD and PAINFUL, there should be SCREAMING and BASS in their voices

like i know they can't all be JAW but SOMETHING my GOD

BITCH WERE YOU?

For the way they're talking, she should be Buffy about Angel

she should be Willow about Oz

she should be Caroline about Tyler

those phone conversations should be kdrama shit

like this is ALL SO BLAND and I just want Belly to shut up, she's insufferable, man.

are you sure?

Oh thank god it's over.