#I'm very very happy with what has been occurring lately

[comicaurora]

A bit of a strange question, but if there were any of your videos you were to "remake" today for any reason (ex: you feel like you misrepresented the original text or spread misinformation), which would it be and why? None of them is a perfectly valid answer

Again: bit of a strange question, but I've been thinking about my own creations and how I could have done so much better with some of them, but I also know that is a sign of my growth and constantly chasing "what if I did this instead" isn't always healthy for nurturing a creative mindset, and I was wondering what your opinion might be as a Creator of Things with a bit more experience than I

There's been a few trope talks where I've thought later of other angles I could've explored that might warrant sequels or part 2s, but I don't dislike any of the summaries enough to justify a rework.

I always find "I could've done this better if I made it now" to be a bit of a fallacy. I'm only better at making things now because I made all those earlier things. If I knew everything I'd learn from making a project before I started the project, it wouldn't come out the same.

I think when it comes to the "rework remake perfect" instinct, it helps to zero in on what the impulse is really grounded in. In my experience, more often than not, it's not actually about making the art better, except incidentally. It's usually about showing that you are better. It's demonstrating your competence and your higher standards and your skills, and more importantly it's overwriting the proof that you were once less than perfect. If people look at your old work and think that's all you're capable of, they'll be judging you poorly!

If that's the motivator, it's a very unhelpful one. You can't control for being harshly or incorrectly judged. It's a fruitless effort to stave off potentially upsetting outdated criticism, and it's not even going to work. Fear of critique is an unreliable and untrustworthy motivator.

If it really is about making the art itself better, perfecting your magnum opus with your newly leveled-up skills, that's a little more solid. But from where I'm standing, it's always better to use those skills to make something new instead of polishing something old. The older, unpolished work has already acquired its audience that finds it appealing for reasons that might never occur to you. Trying to bury or overwrite it just deprives that audience of the thing they like, and maybe makes them feel bad for having liked it in the first place. Also, usually when you look back on the older work, you'll conclude that the problem is everything and it'll need to be torn down and started from scratch. I know when I revisited the first three chapters of the comic, when I let my critic brain spin up, it wasn't shading or lineart I wanted to fix - it was panel composition, overall pacing, the entire structure of the chapters as a whole. I would've had to make them all over again to be happy with them, and they wouldn't be the same story by the end.

I've been thinking a lot about the Discworld through this lens lately. It ended up over 40 books long, but everyone agrees that the first two are not what you should start with, because they're the worst ones. They're entirely parodic, purely referential of at-the-time major fantasy series, and borderline mean-spirited in places. If you haven't read Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser and Dragonriders of Pern, you're not gonna understand like a full 50% of The Colour Of Magic.

It's clear that when he started in on them, Pratchett was entirely focused on taking the piss out of a genre he found mostly shallow and unimpressive. But the Discworld wouldn't leave his head, and everything he made fun of he clearly eventually found himself overthinking. He'd make little one-off jokes in the early books about Dwarves having no women and a hundred words for gold, and then twenty books later he'd have a Dwarf gender revolution make waves across the Disc, and then he'd write Thud!, a book that delves deeper into the nuances of Dwarf societal structure than Tolkien ever did.

If you look for them, there are continuity errors everywhere in Discworld. In his introductory book, Carrot defused a dwarf bar full of rowdy brawlers by guilting them all into writing to their poor lonely mothers back home. Shortly thereafter, Carrot will be outraged at the mere concept of an openly female dwarf. Pratchett even eventually wrote Thief of Time, a book that loosely explains that the Disc makes no sense because history has been broken and put back together incorrectly twice, and therefore any continuity errors are because of that.

He's the writer. He could've gone back and fixed it, edited the reprints to be less disruptively discontinuous with the later books. Instead he continuously moved forward and allowed the world he made to grow without cutting it off from its roots. And because he didn't bury his older, far worse work, we have the privilege of following the Disc's evolution from the very start, and seeing how this shallow, stock fantasy world parody became something incredibly rich and complex without ever pretending like its early installments never happened.

Anyway, that's why I think it's better to move forward. You make more good stuff that way.

[parlerenfleurs]

HE LEFT HIS COAT BECAUSE IT WAS TRAPPED BENEATH YUDER AHDHHFJDDDHHDSHHDHFFH

[thistlecatfics]

Talking about Incest in Public

(both the painful traumatic kind and the hot fictional kind)

As it turns out, lots of the people who read and write taboo fiction have survived some deeply fucked up shit. After talking about incest with other survivors on the Moon, Sun & Stars discord and answering questions, I decided to share more about my experiences and the things that helped me survive and the things that helped me heal, because there are a lot of us, and a lot of us feel very alone, and maybe there are other people who aren’t incest survivors but who might want to know more to better support the survivors in their life.  

–

Incest is not just a sexual act between two family members -- it's a larger system of absence of boundaries within a family, and it's almost always part of multiple incestuous dynamics, even if only one might be the obvious or explicit dynamic. 

If you’re an incest survivor, you’re almost certainly not the only one in your family. 

-

“The true characteristics and dimensions of incestuous abuse have been masked by the taboo and silence that have surrounded its occurrence. Recent research demonstrates that incest occurs regularly in our society, perpetrated by individuals who, for the most part, would otherwise be regarded as fairly normal. The taboo on incestuous relations is a deterrent to some would-be perpetrators but not to others. The taboo contradicts the reality of incest prevalence, a fact which led Armstrong (1978) to comment that th taboo has been on the open discussion of incest and not on its perpetration.”

-Christine Courtois, “Healing the Incest Wound: Adult Survivors in Therapy” 

–

To use my family as an example - 

My (similarly aged) brother did sexual things to me as a kid, and I had a range of reactions to it including pleasure and enjoyment. And confusion. And fear. I do not think he is bad or even what he did was bad. I think we were both two kids who existed in a family with incestuous dynamics, and we were both shaped by those dynamics and trying our best to survive. 

From a young age, I existed as a physical comfort object to my mom (when she was sad she'd get into my bed to hold me until she felt better while I dissociated), and I took on the idea that my role in the family was for my body to be used to make other people feel good. The sexual behavior by my brother felt like an extension of how my mom held me. 

My mother was the victim of incest from her uncle, and her parents sided with her uncle over her when she spoke out about it (even after he was facing legal consequences for his behavior with kids outside of the family) (even after he fled the country). She didn't know how to emotionally regulate herself, and I don't think she had (or has) the capacity to understand a child's need for physical autonomy and boundaries because her own were never respected. 

There were other incestuous behaviors and dynamics within my family which I'm continuously discovering and unpacking. I think my mom’s uncle abused my grandmother too but I’ll never know for sure. It’s deeply uncomfortable to look back on a happy family story or a childhood nickname and see something sinister underneath and wonder if you’re being paranoid or if it’s actually that bad.  

–

Things that have helped: 

Long term relational therapy (5+ years). EMDR. Adopting a cat. Adopting more cats. Antidepressants. Reading about incest (realistic, terrifying, academic). Reading about incest (fictional, hot, amateur). Being a competitive athlete. Getting a graduate degree. Going on long walks late at night. Telling my family I had Covid so I could skip a family vacation. 

These books specifically: Healing the Incest Wound by Christine Courtois, The Myth of Normal, Dissociation Made Simple, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, The Narcissistic Family Unit, Clementine Morrigan’s writing x1000. 

The protector parts: Eating disorder. Self harm. Drinking. Perfectionism. Depression. Suicidal ideation. I’m grateful to these imperfect protectors I’ve leaned on over the years. 

Things that have not helped: 

You will be shocked to hear that people on the internet yelling about how people who find fictional incest hot are disgusting and bad and dangerous did NOT in fact help me unlearn the belief that experiencing incest made me disgusting and bad and dangerous. Luckily, I’m built of spite. But it certainly did not help. 

(If I think about my vulnerable pre-teen/teen self reading those things, I become deeply angry. How dare you hurt her in the name of protection.)

- I don’t cater to all these vipers Dressed in empath’s clothing God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what’s best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see

-Taylor Swift, But Daddy I Love Him

-

After I discovered fanfiction in middle school, and then after I realized that there was a world beyond OFC/Draco Malfoy fic, I read a lot of Blackcest. I devoured any I could find, hopping through rec lists on LiveJournal. 

Reading Blackcest fics, first Bellatrix/Sirius then Sirius/Regulus mostly, allowed me to see my experiences reflected. Those fics gave me a way to contextualize my family and my role in it. I hate the expectation that kids who experience bad things should go to a safe trusted adult rather than find art that romanticizes their experience. The whole point is that there isn’t a safe trusted adult. The whole point is that I needed the art. I got to hold the romanticized narrative until I got far enough away that I could put it away in a box until I had enough therapy that I could safely open the box and build a new, more honest story. 

Obviously plenty of people love incest smut and fic and art. It’s taboo! It’s angsty! It’s a classic! Probably most of those people don’t have direct personal experience with incest in their families. I’m glad they read and write fics too. 

But for me – have you ever experienced something you believe so strongly you will never be able to say aloud? That any time you see your secret referenced it’s in shock and disgust and revulsion? You can pretend – you’re very good at pretending – but you know it’s real, and you know it’s your secret you’ll hold onto for the rest of your life while the world reminds you how disgusting you are? 

Then you find that people are writing about what you experienced in a thousand variations that all contain some nugget of your truth.

I cannot express in words how important it was that I found those stories at that time. 

I never commented on a single fic. I never made a single account on any of the sites I read fanfiction on. I clicked the “yes I’m 18” box without hesitation every time. I wish I could go back in time and have my adult self articulate the enormity of my gratitude for each and every author who helped save me whose work exists on sites I can only revisit with the Wayback Machine. 

I understand why people might feel horrified at the idea of a 11-12 year old reading smutty incest Harry Potter fanfic. People aren’t wrong for feeling that way. 

That said, I truly don’t care what people who aren’t incest survivors think.

I’m so proud of that child for finding a way to survive. She might have hated herself, might have fantasized about death, but she survived and kept the truth of her experience wrapped up in a fictional world where it could be safe to explore and kept it there until years and years of therapy made it possible to engage with it in reality. 

- I’m a real tough kid I can handle my shit They said, babe, you got to fake it till you make it And I did

-Taylor Swift, I Can Do It With a Broken Heart -

No one is writing about incest the way Clementine Morrigan is right now. I’m so grateful for her. I’m not sure this little tumblr post would exist without her essay series. 

"Incest functions as a spell of unreality. A structure of nothingness. A completely normal and unremarkable family life in which something unnameable is ominously and terrifyingly wrong. You know in the summer when you can see the heat making the air go squiggly? Imagine those squiggles as an indication that in the seeming nothingness, there is something there. Incest is like that. Subtle, pervasive, unthinkable, unnameable. But present, felt.

As a teenager I came up with this metaphor: Imagine you are in a house full of bugs. There are bugs crawling all over all the walls and all the furniture and in your food and even on the fork you are lifting to your mouth. And you feel disgusted, you feel like something is really wrong. But your whole family is acting completely normal, laughing and eating and talking as bugs crawl over their faces and into their mouths. When you tell them you think there are bugs in your food your family says it’s just pepper and not to worry about it.

There is no way to talk about incest without feeling that you are lying. This is because incest lives in the realm of unreality and everything in the realm of unreality cannot be thought or said or named. When you speak of things that happen in the realm of unreality it will always feel like a lie and be treated like a lie. You are breaking the fundamental rule. You are not allowed to talk about what goes on in the realm of unreality because it isn’t real."

Read more and pay for her writing if you can on her substack.

-

Without a doubt, the not-explicitly-sexual incest from my mom fucked me up more than the explicitly sexual incest from my brother, but I only feel confident claiming the incest survivor label because sexual stuff was done to me by a family member, and I still feel like I’m lying sometimes because it wasn't bad enough to count. 

I’m a literal mental health clinician who can map out various incestuous dynamics within my family and who has clear memories of a family member doing sexual stuff to my child body, and I still feel like I’m lying. 

I believe you if you feel like a liar because I bet you do. I believe you if the incest never included anything directly physical. I believe you if you enjoyed it. I believe you if you don’t remember but feel like it’s true. 

I love us. 

If we’re monsters, I love our courageous monstrosity.

If we’re liars, I love the way we make up stories to survive when reality is impossible. 

If we’re an uncomfortable truth, good. 

-

It still impacts me. I’m not over it. 

It’s very difficult for me to imagine love that does not include violation. To be loved and to be allowed to maintain a self. 

But I’m open to learning otherwise, and that openness is new. 

-

I was so, so good at living in unreality. I could make myself perfect, such a flawless object until I couldn’t think of anything except killing myself, but even then I still maintained the image of perfection my family expected. 

It’s cool I never actually killed myself. 

I find it hard to be around my family now. There are advantages of living in unreality. I drink a lot more when I’m around my family than I ever did before, but I don’t think about killing myself nearly as much. Reality is worth it. Being able to exist as a person is worth it. 

- I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.

-Sylvia Plath

- I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. (I insist.)

It didn’t kill me then. It’s not going to kill me now. (I remind myself.) 

My life is worth living, and there are fights worth fighting, and it is undeniably true the world is full of horror, but it is good to write and create and be alive, and it is good to try. I’m a little afraid to post this, but the fear and shame isn’t mine to hold, and I never should have been the one holding it. 

Consider this a thank you note sent out to the universe in the hopes the sentiment echoes towards those authors who saved me then and to all the writers who are saving people now. Your art matters. No matter how weird or niche or dismissed or hated it is. It matters. 

Thank you.

[marchofmistria]

Hi, I saw that your requests were open and I was wondering if you could make HC for when the farmer comes home all wrecked after a day at the mines (both bachelors and bachelorettes, if thats ok)

Hi there, thank you for sending :) Super fun to write for the bachelorettes as well as the bachelors <3 I'm writing these as established relationship HCs!

March

March can't help but worry about you each time you go to the times, no matter how nonchalant he tries to act or how many times he tells himself that you've been fine each time before.

Before you go, he'll always lecture you a bit and tell you to be careful (even though, he feels, this lecture goes ignored every time).

Without you asking, he'll spend time forging armor and swords that are strong and can provide a great deal of protection. You're clearly grateful for it, and it gives him peace of mind that you're wearing something he made so he's sure the quality is as good as possible.

If you're not back by a certain time, he'll go looking for you himself (even when, most of the time you're just fine).

The anxiety isn't totally unwarranted. There was a time once where he found you passed out in the mines, badly injured and attracting attention from monsters even in your unconscious state. He carried you all the way to Valen and had trouble sleeping for a day or two afterwards, even though Valen revived you no problem.

Sometimes March will insist on accompanying you from the start, claiming that he doesn't trust you to protect himself. You know not to take this as a blow to your defensive skills, but rather as proof of his deep love and care for you.

On the days you come home tired, he'll order you to go rest in bed and will wordlessly take care of you, whether that means cooking you dinner or washing off your sore body in the bath. He'll act annoyed, but you know that he doesn't mind at all taking care of you.

Ryis

Ryis worries about you when you spend late nights in the mines, but is also completely confident in your defensive skills. He knows that you're very strong, perhaps stronger than he would be down there.

He'd insist, however, that you pack food with you in case you grow exhausted down there.

He'd also make sure that you're wearing the best protection you could be. He'd probably call in a favor or two from March to give you the best equipment money could buy, just as an extra precaution.

He's always very excited and grateful when you bring home a trove of material or fascinating objects from your time down in the mines. He'd be interested to learn about all the materials that occur naturally down below, as well as the animal (monster) life living down there. Especially as Ryis would probably have little interest in going down there himself.

Ryis is less of a worrier than some others may be, but he'd definitely insist you be home by a certain time just so he could have total peace of mind and so that you two could spend the night together.

He'd definitely pamper you when you've had an exhausting day, whether that be from your time in the mines or from any other tasks you've had to complete throughout the day.

His care for you would definitely include nightly massages of your sore muscles. His idea of a perfect night is spent together in the bath with you, and then hanging out late into the night working on something relaxing like birdhouses, or even watching a movie together before falling asleep.

Hayden

One of the things Hayden loves and respects about you is your strength. He has plenty of it too, but is always deeply impressed by your ability to balance your work on the farm with your exploration of the mines.

He encourages your interests, and wants to give you as much time as possible to explore if that's what you feel like doing that day. He shows this encouragement by offering to take care of things on the farm on days when you want to go mining.

He hopes that'll take away some of your exhaustion, and he's more than happy to take care of you in that way. Any extra time spent with your animals is a happy day for him!

Hayden would care to make sure you're eating well before you go expending all that energy. He'll make lots of delicious food straight from the produce you've grown from the farm, and from the products donated by your animals.

Hayden wouldn't worry too much about your exploration in the mines, seeing how strong you are and how well you can handle yourself. He's just ready to get you home by the end of the night.

Hayden helps you recover by making sure you're well fed and well rested each day, without exception. If that means letting you sleep in a bit longer the next day and taking some of the load off your shoulders, he does it without a second thought.

Seeing his smiling face when you get home from a long day is enough to replenish some of your energy instantly. All Hayden cares about is that you're enjoying your days to the fullest in Mistria.

Balor

At first, Balor is more than supportive of your journeys down to the mines. After all, that's where you can find the rarest and most lucrative things for him to pawn off in the Capital!

It's also where you found a majority of the gifts that won his heart in the first place. It seemed like you were the only other person who appreciated these rare items to the same level he did, and he got so excited talking about it with you.

But once your relationship gets serious and progresses farther than just a business partnership, he starts to hate the days when you go down to the mines.

You always come back all scratched up and often injured, although usually not severely. Even so, he can't help but worry himself silly.

Yes, he's still excited when you come and happily show him all the wonderful things you've uncovered there that day. But he sure does wish there was another way to go about it.

He tries to persuade you to stop going down there, much to your surprise at first. You thought that he lived for these incredible finds. But he tells you that seeing you hurt isn't worth any amount of money.

He pays March a hefty sum to make you the best equipment and stocks you up with food each time you go. He can never get to sleep until he knows you're back home safe and have had your injuries healed.

He'll spend the rest of the night checking you to make sure you're really okay, and pampering you in every way possible. He wants you to know how grateful he is that you put yourself in danger on behalf of your mutual financial wellbeing. And he'll always have a special gift for you as an extra thank you.

Eiland

One thing that Eiland loves about you is your shared interest in all things archeological. The idea that there was someone as excited as him to explore the mysteries of the minds makes him deeply happy.

In fact, he's so excited and eager to find out what's down there that he doesn't really think of the extent of the danger. To be fair, he doesn't know that the mines are infected with a slew of monsters until you tell him.

When you first start returning to him after a day in the mines, you can spend hours discussing what you saw down there and going through all the evidence and artifacts you came across. Because you're equally excited as he is, he doesn't notice at first that you've injured yourself.

It's only after he sees you wincing in pain that he questions what happened, and then he feels terrible that he didn't notice it at first! When you confess to him all that's living down there, he instantly says that the mines must be closed off again.

Yes, he is deeply interested in what can be found down there. But the safety of the residents of Mistria are paramount. And you, as the person he cares about most in the world, take priority above all of that.

He feels a bit more reassured when you tell him that closing the mines is out of the question, that your injuries are not severe at all, and that on the contrary you absolutely love going down there. He's excited too, but just much more weary about your adventures now.

He'll stay late at the museum on nights when you decide to go into the mines, ready to meet you first thing once you exit. He has bottles of tonic to help you heal ready, as well as scores of delicious desserts to eat while talking over what you found that day. He's super eager, but will always prioritize your health over all else.

Valen

Valen doesn't stop being your doctor when she becomes your partner, and your health and safety are always her first priority. She knows she's not supposed to have any biases towards certain patients, but how could she not when she loves you so much?

Because of this, she really attempts to insist you stop going down to the mines. She knows that you find it fun and interesting, but she still doesn't fully understand. You make very decent money between the two of you, so it's not because of that.

She truly finds it difficult to understand why you don't prioritize your own health, especially with someone who worries so much about you waiting for you. But after discussing it, she concedes that she must let you enjoy your own interests and be there to support however she can.

You do agree to compromise on not staying out too late, as she cannot sleep at all until you're back home safe and your injuries are all tended to. Before you go, she prepares strong concoctions with her panacea to heal up most of your injuries instantly as soon as you're home.

On one occasion, when your injuries weren't mild and you had to stay overnight in the doctor's office, she didn't sleep a wink with worry for you. Even though she rationally understood that you'd be just fine in a few days, and of course trusted her own skills in taking care of you, her concern for you is overwhelming.

Most times, however, you're just fine and she's at home lovingly waiting for your return. She'll feed you a healthy dinner and run you a bath with salts to help soothe your aching muscles.

She'll always pack tonics to take with you as well, free of charge of course. You're incredibly grateful to have such a caring partner.

Juniper

Juniper tries really hard to act like she doesn't care what you're doing all day. She's still getting used to the idea of having a partner and showing vulnerability and care towards them.

She does care, really. It hurts her ego a tiny bit when she concedes to the fact that she does care. But at the same time, she can't do well at hiding her worry when you come home injured.

When you come back from the minds and show her everything you found, her interest is piqued. You consider it an enormous accomplishment the first time you gift her a crystal rose you found on one of the lower floors, telling her that she was the first thing you thought of when you saw the flower for the first time, and see her actually blush.

She can't even pretend to act proud at your "tribute." She's genuinely happy and flustered, and you consider that a win.

When you do come home hurt, she'll silently bring you into the bath house. Undressing you and then herself, she'll climb into the bath with you for a long soak.

That may include a massage as well, if you've caught her in a good mood or won her over that day with your gestures of affection via gifts from the mines. You can really get her if you tell her that you put yourself in harms way for her. She loves to feel like you put a lot of thought into her happiness.

She's not unaccustomed to flattery or worship, sure. But the real love, devotion, and attention she feels from you is new. And she's going to take steps to make sure the feeling is mutual.

Reina

Reina admires how strong you are, and how self-sufficient. But at the end of the day, she's still a big sister and being caring is her defining quality. She can't help but worry when you put yourself in danger.

She doesn't try to talk you out of it. She knows that there's no use in that. But she will do whatever she can to make your endeavors as safe as possible.

She insists of filling your bag with as much delicious food as you can carry without becoming over-encumbered. She'll cook all your favorites so you'll be more inclined to eat them as soon as your energy starts to wane in the mines.

You can always expect the same when you get back to her as well. She doesn't take no for an answer when it comes to you eating properly, even when you tell her that you've already eaten all the delicious things she packed for you during your excursion.

After you're well-fed and warmed up, you two like to relax the rest of the evening by the warm fire of the Inn, talking into the night and even sharing a warm Hot Toddy if you really need to wind down.

She's always interested to hear about everything you do each day, especially including what you do in the mines. She finds it fascinating, especially as that sort of stuff doesn't usually appeal to her. She's more than happy to listen to your tales rather than go do those things herself.

She'll often share your stories and brag of your strength and bravery to everyone who will listen when patronizing the Inn. She's proud to have such a strong and fearless partner.

Adeline

Adeline is a worrier by nature. She needs to have things under control as much as possible, and the fact that her partner is so fearless can be a difficult adjustment for her.

She knows that she needs to let you have your own hobbies. She also knows that she invited you to Mistria as an adventurer, so she can't go back on her word now.

Even so, she wishes you'd do just a little less adventuring now that you've found a home in the village. She doesn't tell you this directly, but also can't hide how stressed she gets when you're down there and she doesn't know how you're faring.

She makes you promise to be back by a certain time each night, and is upset if you ever miss that curfew. She knows that she can't boss you around like that, but you're willing to oblige her knowing how much stress she's already balancing and how much she cares about your well-being.

She does know what it's like to have someone deeply interesting in exploring, and is happy that her brother has a friend to discuss these things with now. She engages in the conversation and does find it interesting, especially if you're the one telling about it rather than Eiland. You just have a much more... engaging way of talking on the subject.

One thing that she will agree with you on is that the items you're able to find in the mines can be helpful to some of the townsfolk around Mistria. Whenever someone needs an item that may be hard to obtain, she admires the fact that you're quick to jump in and help (even if that means putting yourself in harms way). She loves that about you.

As soon as you're back home, she's making sure that you're well-rested in the most comfortable home, with the most comfortable pajamas and all the luxuries she can afford. If you're injured, she's happy to go to any lengths to make sure you get everything you need. It's the least she can do to prove how much she cares for you.

Celine

Celine is always terrified whenever you tell her you're going down to the mines. She can't imagine facing all those scary monsters and risking getting hurt! The worry is apparent on her face every time.

She knows that you're strong and more than capable, but she's scared for you nonetheless. One of the few times you see her act sternly is when she makes you promise that you'll avoid trouble there as much as possible and be home at a reasonable time.

It doesn't help that Dell encourages you completely. Opposite of what would usually be expected, Celine is worried that Dell is a bad influence on you and spurs you on into danger.

Celine tries to be supportive, but is always ready to take care of you whenever you come home from a long day in the mines. Her cottage is stock piled with medicines from Valen, delicious food cooked either by herself or by Reina, and a warm bed for you to rest in.

She cannot lie, though. Whenever you bring her a new rare plant or flower from the mines, she is so excited that she nearly forgets her reservations.

She'll spend hours reading about the fauna in her Codex Mistria, taking precious care of this wonderful gift you've given her. Her appreciation is apparent, and this incredible gift is almost worth letting you go down to the mines.

In any case, she's always excited to have you back home and will go above and beyond in taking care of you when youi're exhausted or even hurt.

[whumpback-wail]

02 - What’s Real?

Trial by Fire (Wriothesley x Reader) - TW/CW in masterlist

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She could hear the commotion from all the way in her cell. (y/n) stirred from inside the cage she was kept in, too weak to move. Seems like another dream, it's always the same one lately, as if her subconscious still kept the hope alive when her conscious mind gave up a long time ago.

(y/n) cracked her heavy eyelids open, her eyes adjusting to the darkness rather quickly, considering the amount of time she had spent there. She no longer felt cold, her shivering had stopped a long time ago.

Wriothesley and his men would come through the door any moment now, and would pick her up and get her out of there, and she would wake up right as the sunlight hit her skin. She was all too familiar with the dream that had repeatedly occurred, bringing her hopes up only to shatter again when her eyes opened and she was still in the darkness of her cell-

Footsteps.

The door slammed open, making (y/n) flinch, her heart sank when she noticed that the silhouette at the door seemed to have a lab coat on.

Not a dream, get up.

(y/n) could feel herself start to hyperventilate, tears forming. What is he going to do now? She has nothing left, she was declared a failure already and left for dead. Wasn’t the beating last night enough?

No more, please-

The lab coat-clad figure stopped in front of her and nudged her with his foot, sending jolts of pain all over her body. “I’m afraid our time together must come to an end.” Arderne looked down at her and knelt, brushing hair away from her face, making her flinch in disgust.

“I would escape myself and let you go or die alone, whatever, but you know too much, and I'm not risking it.”

(y/n) felt him put his hand over her nose and mouth, squeezing them both shut. Her eyes widened, her air supply was cut off. Hwr body seemed to move on its own, trying to tear his hands away, to claw his face, but she was too weak. It had been so long since they last fed her..

The darkness at the corners of her eyes started closing in and soon everything was black.

“Goodbye 1102” was the last thing she heard.

(y/n) felt like she was drifting through the darkness, the pains and aches in her body numbed by the cold. At least she wasn’t in pain. In moments like these during her captivity were when her mind drifts. Coming back to the memories of her fiancé, the bright happy days felt so far out of reach, almost like a fabricated memory. Pain has been her reality for a while, she didn’t know how much longer she could endure it.

The darkness stretched before her as she continued to sink through its comforts. She could vaguely hear someone talking, a deep voice, slurred and muddled. She didn’t want to wake up, not anymore. If this is it then she wanted to go while it’s peaceful.

Suddenly a sharp pain burst from her chest, startling her. Involuntarily she could feel herself being tugged back to reality, and in her dazed state, she felt herself cough hard.

What’s going on? I can’t do this anymore, it hurts. Please, make it stop-

In her panicked haze, (y/n) almost missed the feeling of arms around her, and a very strong chest.

No… No no no no they sent someone this strong, how am i supposed to take another beating? I can’t-

I can’t.

I can’t.

I can’t.

Please no more.

She tried in vain to push and get away from him, but he held her firmly and effortlessly.

(y/n) felt herself losing consciousness again, her whole body felt like jelly.

Please… Just let me die.

• • •

She was back again in the comfort of the dark.

(y/n) wondered if she’s actually dead now. Perhaps her body couldn’t take it anymore? Eitherway, she no longer felt pain, so that’s a plus.

Her thoughts drift to Wriothesley, as it always does whenever she gets a moment of respite. She remembered the way his canines flash every time he gave her the grin he only reserved for her. How is he? Will I ever see him again?

The regret felt like broken glass was coursing through her veins. (y/n) wished she could cry, but her heart felt numb, as if devoid of emotions.

I want to see him.

I just need to see him one last time.

I need to say my goodbyes and tell him it’s okay to move on.

I need to tell him I love him, and that I'm sorry.

With every thought, she felt the pain intensify, more and more until she felt the familiar tugging, as if her body was pulling her back to the surface of consciousness. And the closer she came to the surface.

It hurts.

Her eyes shot open.

The first thing that greeted her once her eyes focused was the ceiling. The darkness of the room indicated that the lights were off, with the soft light coming from the small crack underneath a door providing minimal light for her to see. Panic rose inside her as her ears picked up the beeping noises coming from her right, it seemed to increase in frequency as her heart started racing faster. A hospital room. Arderne.

What made him decide to take her back? She thought she was labelled a failed subject already?

Trying not to panic, (y/n) winced as she sat up slowly, and looked around the room. She could make out a figure, a mountain of a person, bundled up under blankets. The person seemed fast asleep on the couch at the corner of the room.

She tried to control her breathing, get her heart rate down.

(y/n) knew she would be punished if she woke this person up, and she didn’t want to take another beating, not with this person, they look so big. Memories of her beating flashed behind her eyes.

A flurry of fists.

Hard boots.

In her panic, she did not notice the figure starting to stir.

Wriothesley blinked, and shot up to his feet the moment he noticed her heart monitor going wild.

“(y/n), you’re awake?” he rushed to her side.

But that only seemed to make her panic more, she’s hyperventilating at this point, the heart monitor beeps kept increasing in frequency.

“I-I’m sorry.” (y/n) flinched away from him, “I didn’t mean to wake you, please. I’m sorry.”

“What- (y/n), it’s me, you’re safe now-” he raised his hand to soothe her, but the sudden motion seemed to set her off. She cried out and raised her arm to shield herself. The heart monitor started ringing. Alerting the medical staff outside.

“Please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

Wriothesley wanted to murder the people who did this.

"(y/n), sshhh, listen to my voice, you're safe now. It's me, Wriothesley. Whatever you think you're seeing is not real-"

Right then the room door opened and medical staff rushed in with a crash cart. With a quick glance around the room assessing the situation, the nurse immediately knew what was going on.

“Sir, I need you to step back. We’ll help.” She said as she and several more nurses went closer to the bed to sedate (y/n).

“I’m sorry!” (y/n) was back in the facility again. The experiment chambers, the injections. The pain

So much pain.

She can’t take that again. Not again.

Nurses held down her arms and legs as (y/n) started to thrash and cry. No more. Please.

Wriothesley could only watch, helpless, as he sank back to the couch. He watched (y/n)’s thrashing slowly stop, and her heart rate going down as her eyes slowly flutter shut. Her mouth kept repeating apologies and pleas to not hurt her.

He couldn’t do anything.

[<<< previous chapter] • [masterlist] • [next chapter >>>]

(˶╥︿╥)ﾉ ……(ó﹏ò｡)

A/N:

And that concludes chapter 2! What do you think of the story so far?

Why do I enjoy the emotional anguish hnghh. I wanna comfort Wrio so bad but seeing him go through all the angst is... satisfying? Its weird. Anw new chapter coming in a week-ish, and you'll see a but more of what (y/n) went through during her captivity.

Until then, I'm trying to focus on finding (art) commission clients, November has been like a dry river. I hope I find clients soon :")

Oh and Arderne is an NPC in Meropide, a doctor, I just uhh… borrowed his character to be the villain (sorry Arderne)

Taglist (I couldn't tag some of you (red colour), how do I solve this?): @almosteggs @quuela @tempest1art @yamanaka13-blog @arseneumbra @kimmeaahh @cottonfluffs @randomidk-123 @applejayee @keigo-hawks-takami-simp @mechanicalbeat1 @aribae14 @bforbiblio

[feyunir]

One thing I love about Dragon Age is how much you can learn about your companions by paying attention to their facial expressions and body language.

So I have taken a closer look at Emmrich. Most of my impressions of him will be from before the 16th September, as I have largely been avoiding spoilers since then.

As far as I can tell he has 3 character models. High, medium and low polygon count. Not important, but I think they look slightly different so I thought it was interesting as it might affect his expressions.

Let's take a look at his "Victory pose" as I'm calling it. Usually shown when he is out in the field. He looks confident, and gives the impression he enjoys being out and about. Fighting with confidence. I think he loves magic.

Next, in conversation with all the companions. He seems happy. Give the impression he is having fun figuring out their current dilemma. His scholar is showing. Let's call this his "scholar pose" lol. Even when wearing his resting b***h face he is clearly paying attention, looking at whoever is talking. His posture is open and friendly, exposing his chest and not crossing his legs.

Alone with Rook however we see a different side of him. He has long periods of time when he isn't looking at Rook at all. Coming of as a little reserved. He has his arms resting crossed in the front. Politely present, but respectfully distant. I call this his "Funeral priest pose". I have been to way too many funerals lately and that's generally how the priest was standing. Maybe they always stand like that, but I don't go to church so I wouldn't know.

Judging by how empty the shelves in the back of the clip is, he hasn't been at the Lighthouse long.

Another thing that I noticed was when Rook says "A Watcher's work is never done", he looks sad? At first I thought he is sad because of the never ending stream of death, but then it occurred to me maybe it could be taken more literal. As in, once a Watcher, always a Watcher? Once a Watcher dies, their body/skeleton is being put back to work? We know from The Flame Eternal that Emmrich thinks it would be romantic to be buried with the one you love. Maybe he is sad because he knows that even if he found that someone, being buried with them is something he can't have as long as he is a Watcher. Just a thought.

Next is his "Nope pose". I'm not sure what to make of this one lol. The game clearly has NPC - player head tracking. Emmrich is turning his head and looking at the approaching Rook. Only to do an extreme NOPE turn when they come within talking distance. I'm willing to blame game mechanic on this one, but even then he is a bit strange. He is just standing there to the left of the fireplace, clearly not warming himself. Just standing there looking up at the roof. If anyone have any thoughts on this one I'd like to hear them xD

From his V&V episode we know he is very kind and polite. Probably to the point he became a bit naive and easy to take advantage of. A friend of mine said he came across as potentially having mild Autism. Interesting thought, and I can see where they're coming from, but I don't like slapping labels on ppl so I'm going to leave it in the theory box. All in all he seems confident in his choice of work field, fighting/magic/scholarly, but a bit distant or reserved when in one on one situations.

[marymary-diva17]

Hi, i was hoping you could write a story about the Bridgeton family having a sister, who is about a year older than Daphne and is absolutely gorgeous, who is brought home by their father, and believing her to be an affair child only Eloise and Benedict treat her nicely. Not like Cinderella bad, but where she is essentially family-adjacent and often excluded and snubbed by the family. Only for it to come out that she is Queen Charlotte and King George's only recognized grandchild. She is presented to the queen by Benedict without the knowledge of the other family members. And it happens to occur right after Daphne, and she immediately steals all of the attention especially if/when it comes to light by the Queen questioning why you haven't seen her since you were younger and and how your life and education has been while you were hidden with, what comes to light as "your late father's dearest friend" meaning that she was sent to the Bridgeton house to be protected, as a child, after her father died and the late Vicount was only aloud to tell 2 people in his family. And the Bridgeton's all try to save face, even trying to force her, in some way, into keeping things quiet and fixing the damages done to their family name.

Sorry for the length... Also, could her name be "Luciana"? Or "Irene"? I've always loved those names.

Life among the ton can be difficult on anyone standing among London high society. Since a new member had joined from birth or marriage their moves were watched closely, and judge by the rest of the society as well. That is not far from the truth for one young lady, in ton society as since she was very young she had been judged, by those outside of the home and majorly inside the home as well.

y/n " ......." you had woken up and made your way through the Bridgeton house, ready to join the your family for breakfast. There are those in the house that don't call you family, and see you as outsider.

Eloise " y/n good morning"

y/n " Eloise good morning"

Eloise " are you planning to join us for breakfast it will be good to have you there, even due Benedict is there morning meal is still so boring"

y/n " I will love to join but if need I will have my meal elsewhere" Eloise had given you a sad look as she knew that you were, never treated fairly in the home.

Eloise " then if you go then I shall come it better then here, about this upcoming season"

y/n " oh yes the season has finally come for me to find a husband"

Eloise " you will do well I know it now come we shall not be late" The pair had soon made their way downstairs, and soon to the room where breakfast had been setup for the family.

Anthony " sister good morning it good you are here"

Eloise " good morning Anthony I have brought y/n as well, do you wish to greet her as well"

Antony " good morning Y/n"

Y/n " good morning Anthony"

Daphne " good morning sister and brother"

Antony " good morning sweet sister"

Eloise " good morning sister come on y/n let take a sit"

Y/n " good morning Daphne"

Daphne " morning" the four members of the home soon sat down at the table. As soon enough there had been footsteps coming down the stairs.

Voilet " Good morning my children it good to see some of my older kids down here, for a family breakfast"

Antony/Daphne/Eloise " Good morning mother"

Y/n " good morning lady Bridgeton"

Voilet " good morning"

Francesca " good morning Daphne are you happy that the season will be starting soon"

Daphne " yes sister I'm happy about this season to marry for love like mama and papa"

Gregory " well I'm looking forward to all the sweet treats that will come"

Hyacinth " always thinking about food Gregory"

Violet " sit down you three please as we wait for your two older brothers" The three younger Bridgeton's had sat by their two older siblings and mother, staying away from you at the moment.

Colin " good morning family sorry we are late"

Benedict " yes good morning we have come to join for breakfast"

Violet " well it good we are all here now we can eat a meal as family"

Colin " kinda of family see that one of us past" Colin had looked at you making you feel worst.

Benedict " brother please be kind and don't ruin this morning for us, so y/n are you ready for this season"

y/n " oh yes I'm Benedict"

Benedict " In days time we will be presenting Daphne and y/n to the queen and rest of society, as they have finally joined the ton"

Daphne " it will be splendid mother and I made sure my dress is perfect and ready"

Anthony " good as this year will be seeking a husband and me a wife as well"

Benedict " don't forget I and Colin might be looking for love as well, let not forget y/n she is a member of the household as well"

Eloise " yes y/n tell me about your dress"

y/n " well I was able to get the dress ready I hope it will be good, when I'm presented"

Benedict " you will be wonderful and so shall Daphne"

Colin " we shall see if any man will have her knowing what, type of women she will be just like her mother"

Benedict " brother I shall not have you speak to her like that she is one of us"

Colin " she is one of father greatest mistake mother had forgiven father, but never her mother no family shall have her"

Eloise " Colin you are being rude"

y/n " it okay I think I will take my breakfast in the garden as I wish, not to ruin your family meal"

Elosie " then I shall come with you Benedict"

Benedict " I will come as well"

Voilet " Elosie and Benedict you both should stay here and have a meal with your family"

Benedict " she is our family as well mother father brought her into the family and she family" The tiro soon left as they went to have breakfast somewhere else. It clear to see your are not well like by the household and some of the staff as well, they along with everyone else saw you as love child of the former viscount. As he had brought to the family home one day, telling his wife they shall be taking you in as one of their own. Everyone had thought you are Edmond love child and that your birth mother was either dead or left you in his care.

Later on that day

Penelope " so y/n are you ready for the present to the queen"

y/n " my nerves and scared of what shall happen that day"

Eloise " well thanks to our cruel family they have made matter worst"

y/n " tell me Eloise and Penelope why do young ladies like you wish, to be in my present"

Eloise " because we care for you and you are dearest to us as well"

Penelope " you always care for anyone even due they don't care for you back, having you as friend has made life grande here"

y/n " thank you"

Eloise " I know you shall do well this season as married women or unmarried"

y/n " thank you and I know you two will do well in society as well, both of you have grown and will do amazing things in the future" the three girls had smiled as they went back to walking, hearing some whispers and glares among the ton. Right now that didn't bother you anymore, as you will let them talk all they want.

Pretension of ladies to society

Benedict " sister may I come inside"

y/n " yes you can come inside Benedict and Eloise as well, I know she is there"

Eloise " good morning sister .... you look beautiful"

y/n " thank you the dress is not to much on me it seem like the dress, had been picked ahead for me"

Eloise " Benedict shall be presenting you to the queen and the ton, as mother and Anthony wish not to"

y/n " I understand"

Benedict " well then now that you are official ready let get going my sister" you had nodded your head the rest of the family are gone, as the trio left for the palace soon arriving there. Eloise went to go wait with the rest of the family.

Announcer " Miss Daphne brigerton present by her mother the right honorable viscountess violet brigerton" the door opened as Violet and Daphne walked into the hall gasping can be heard as Daphne, had entered the hall.

Benedict " you will do well y/n there nothing to hear"

y/n " yes thank you Benedict"

Announcer " Miss Y/n present my lord Benedict bridgerton" you and Benedict had started walking down the towards the queen, as she soon stopped what she was doing. This had gained everyone attention as they looked at you and back at their queen.

queen Charolette " my dear come closer so I may get a better look at you, such a beautiful young lady who might become my second diamond or different gem"

Benedict " your majesty I will like to present to you Y/n my sister"

Queen Charolette " yes I know of her my dear you look so much like your mother"

y/n " thank you your majesty"

brimsley " my majesty I think this best to have this conversation elsewhere at the moment, with a few selected member allowed to come"

Queen Charolette " Edmond had been a friend of your father and took you after his death, your mother had dead years ago and it was not safe for you so he took you in making a promise to care for you and keep you safe as he had done I can see he was a good lord"

y/n " Eloise Benedict did you know of this"

Eloise " yes father had told us many years ago as he could trust us"

lady danbury " I knew as well when your father passed I was going to, have you come live with me but you were close to the other children at the moment"

y/n " I never though this will happen ever I think I might need to sit" you and elosie had sat down as you collected your thoughts about the whole situation.

Benedict " you have rights to be upset with us for keeping this, but we had been doing this for you safety sister my father and yours wanted you to be happy and live a good life"

y/n " I understand where they have come from and I wish they were still here"

Queen Charolette " well all do my granddaughter so do you wish to go back out there and become a diamond of the season, not because of blood but because of who you are your mother daughter a wonderful women I see you and many others have seen as well"

y/n " yes I'm ready to face them" the grouo soon left the room and went back to where everyone is ready.

Anthony " your majesty I'm sorry for what my household has caused you ..."

Queen Charolette "silence I'm have something to say right"

Queen Charolette " many years ago I had a granddaughter born into my family, but she had to go into hiding for her safety after the death of my son it broken my heart along with the rest of our family ... but today she had come home Y/n bridgerton as you all know her is the future duchess and my granddaughter as well" the queen had knew of what had been spoken about her granddaughter, she wasn't a big fan of many of those standing in the room.

brismley " Duchness Y/n of the royal household of queen Charolette and king Gregor and the new gem of the season as well"

Queen Charolette " my decision have been made this season and will not be changed, so let enjoy this season and see what lady whistle down has to say as well" In one day you had become a duchess and didn't even have to marry it your birthright indeed. The once queen who was looked down my many was know, a duchess they all wish to become close with in life but they all will see it shall not be the easy as they think when royals and other important households are involved.

[twodogs-twocats]

Summer Strawberries (Sleep Token's Vessel x III x fem pov) 18+, NSFW

summer fruits. very little plot. what more can I say?

Warnings: SMUT - 18+, Minors DNI. All the general sexy-time stuff.

Apologies for being MIA lately. My job has been super tiring the last few weeks and I've found it tough to accomplish anything outside of work. I'm happy to be back! I missed writing about these spooky bois.

Vessel licked a trail of juice that ran from your lips down your chin. The culprit, a fat strawberry, summer-ripe and dangerously sweet, perched between your fingertips.

You fed Vessel a bite, watching his lips close around the remainder of the fruit. Your view of his mouth was uninhibited, as you straddled his legs, the thick bulge of his cock pressed right against you. You playfully ground your hips back and forth, creating a bit of friction.

He licked his lips and groaned. "My god these are so good." He grabbed your hand and took your fingers in his mouth, cleaning off the strawberry's stickiness. "And you are always so so good," he growled, before kissing you. The beautiful red fruits were plucked fresh from your garden, shared first thing this morning with pancakes, now shared in bed, both of you naked from the waist up, hands and mouths syrupy with the red juice. "Your turn," he said, as he grabbed another strawberry from the bowl beside the bed.

As he placed the strawberry in your mouth, your lips just grazing the tips of his fingers as you bit down, his other hand came to your pussy, rubbing your clit over your underwear. You moaned as your head tipped backward, savoring the sweet taste on your tongue, and the feeling of Vessel's fingers playing with you. Sunlight dappled across your chest, the heat of the summer day held at bay by the AC working overtime. These slow, lazy summer days were your favorite, and you had spent a lot of them just like this, naked with Vessel as he gifted you orgasm after orgasm.

A loud moan escaped you. Vessel now brought his other hand to wrap around your throat. You could feel the wetness from the strawberry you had just eaten covering his fingertips as he gently squeezed and pulled you towards him, his lips meeting yours. The kiss was wet and messy, a glorious mix of spit and sugar. His tongue forced its way into your mouth, and you savored him, tastier than even the ripest of fruits.

His fingers on your clit continued at a steady pace, as a fire deep in your belly began to grow. Your moans became louder, but Vessel's grip on your throat tightened in return, cutting them off. "You know III is home baby. You're gonna need to stay quiet for me. That is, unless you want to give him a show."

Shit - your roommate III. He was a new addition to your home with Vessel. In general, you loved having him around. The three of you were great friends and you enjoyed the movie nights and cookouts and the house full of laughter, not to mention the casual flirting that occurred between you all. But, if you were being honest, you could do without having to be so quiet every time you and your boyfriend had sex. Sex with Vessel could get a bit... uncontrolled.

"What are you thinking about there love?" Vessel said, bringing you back to the current moment. His finger continued to circle your clit, but the motion was now lazy, taunting. "Not thinking about III, surely?"

"No, of course not," you stammered out, your face growing hot. Vessel eyed you from beneath his mask for a moment, before he flipped you around and pinned you underneath him. You giggled at the sudden movement. Now he straddled you, one hand braced next to your head, the other pushing aside your underwear, two long fingers slipping inside of you. "Are you sure?" He leaned towards you, dominating. "Are you sure you're not thinking of III's hands on you, his mouth on your tits? You know, he likes your tits, I can tell. He's always eyeing them"

"Vessel, I don't -." You were fully blushing now, both from embarrassment and from the images of III being planted in your brain. Vessel's fingers continued to stroke into your pussy, making it difficult to think straight. "You don't have to lie to me." he continued "I can't blame you for finding him attractive, just like I can't blame him for thinking about you."

Your eyes rolled back in pleasure, but now, instead of just thinking about Vessel, it was III's fingers that flashed through your mind. Vessel leaned in even closer, lips brushing your ear. "You know," he whispered, his breath sending shivers up your spine, as that heat in your low belly returned. "I've always thought about what it would be like to share you with him."

Oh Vessel, your wicked man. Of course he would say that, right as his fingers tilted up at that perfect angle, hitting your insides like sparks. Your back arched and you moaned even louder. This time Vessel didn't try to stop you. "My my, no need to get that excited. Would you like me to call him?"

He had to be joking. But not a single rational thought lived in your brain, only the approaching edge of your orgasm. You smiled devilishly. "III needs to try the strawberries."

Vessel grinned back, and kissed you deeply. His fingers continued their motion, each stroke sending stars across your vision. "Oy, III," he yelled. Good god, was this really happening? It's not like you hadn't thought about it, the two large men holding you, pleasing you, using you.

You heard the thump of footsteps down the hall, the rattle of the door knob. "Yeah Vess-" III's head poked inside and he froze, confronted by the sight of Vessel knuckle deep in your dripping cunt, you topless, back arched as your orgasm lay just a few breaths away. Your eyes met his, and for a brief moment you thought he would leave, but then his lids lowered, his blue eyes filling with lust, and he gazed agonizingly slowly up and down your body.

"I told you he liked your tits" Vessel chuckled. "Would you like to join us?" III only nodded, stalking around to the front of the bed, his eyes fully locked onto your pussy. He clenched and unclenched his fists, like he was unsure what to do with his body.

"Come here III," you called to him breathlessly, motioning him to come closer. He crawled up the bed towards you as you grabbed another strawberry from the bowl and held it towards him. "Try a bite of these." As he bit the into it, a muffled "Ohmyagawd" escaped him and you giggled. That little sound brought his eyes to meet yours and you were caught off guard by the tenderness that lay there.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Vessel asked III, poised over you. "She is almost ready to come, and I want you to kiss her while she does. Let her make all her pretty noises into your mouth." Then suddenly Vessel's mouth was on your clit sending beautiful shockwaves all the way up from your toes, and III's lips were on yours, rough and different but so good. And that heat in your belly finally exploded. You let yourself go completely, every sound entirely consumed by III's lips and tongue.

"God you make the cutest fucking noises," III said, before kissing you again. You barely had a moment to even register your orgasm before III was trailing those kisses down your neck and your belly. His hands drifted lightly, almost reverently over the various planes of your body. As III's kisses drifted farther down, Vessel gently grabbed his chin, pulling III towards him. "You should taste her III. She always tastes so good." Vessel brought his lips to III's, their kiss deep and passionate, fingers wrapping in each other's hair. You watched in a daze.

Vessel began to undress III, pulling his shirt over his head, unbuttoning his pants. Their lips stayed locked together and you saw they were both rock hard. God you were in for a long night. "I can't believe you kept her all to yourself Vess," III said, breaking the kiss to look down at you.

"This was probably long overdue," Vessel replied, "So to make up for lost time, how would you like to fuck her first?" III glanced at you, seeing the want, the need in your eyes. He got up for a moment to pull down his pants, his cock springing out, and you nearly drooled at what you saw. Not quite as big as Vessel, but close. You were suddenly uncertain if you could handle them both in one night.

Vessel made his way towards you, pulling you into a deep kiss before he came to sit behind you, your head now on his chest, his hard cock pressing into your back. "Will you be a good girl for III?" He cooed into your ear, as his fingers traced your neck, your collarbone. "Tell him how much you want him."

You watched III fisting himself, still clearly a bit nervous, as he gazed down at you. "Do you want to fuck me III?" You asked him, smirking. "I've seen the way you look at me, now show me how bad you want me."

III chuckled, confidence growing with your words. "Fuck love, if you ask so nicely." His large hands opened your legs wide, and he brushed the tip of his cock against you. You squirmed in anticipation. "Tell me how you like it," he said, as he pushed inside painfully slowly. You groaned, arching further into Vessel as III fully sheathed himself inside of you.

Vessel's hands reach around to play with your breasts, fingers pinching and pulling at your nipples. "Fuck baby, look how good he looks inside of you," he said. And he sure wasn't wrong, III's long body curling into you, every deep stroke hitting you just how you liked. III pulled one of your legs over his shoulder, gently biting your calf. The change of angle allowed him to hit you even deeper and you whined. "Oh my god III, that feels so fucking good." III and Vessel both groaned, enjoying your pleasure.

III continued to pound a steady stroke. The swish of his hair with every move was hypnotic to watch. Suddenly you felt something cool at your lips. You opened wide to take a bite of the strawberry Vessel was feeding you, and as you bit, you felt Vessel's other hand reach down to play with your clit. With III's cock deep inside of you, Vessel's fingers teasing your clit, and the lush taste of the berry, your second orgasm quickly approached. Tears sparked at the corners of your eyes. "Come for me baby," you heard III say. "Fuck you feel so good. I'm gonna come too."

"Come inside of her III." Vessel demanded. “I want to watch you fill her.” His hand still tormented your swollen clit. III's pace quickened, deeper and deeper, your heat mingling with the two of theirs, mind collapsing into a mush of pleasure, and finally you came, the orgasm filling your body with pure ecstasy. III followed quickly after, filling you with messy thrusts. You panted heavily, sweat pooling in the rivets of your body as bit by bit, you came down. Vessel pressed loving kisses into your hair and III slowly pulled himself out and came to sit next to Vessel. He kissed Vessel first, and then brought his lips to your tenderly. And as you kissed them both, you were reminded that even the sweetest treats taste better shared.

[chaifootsteps]

something else that just occurred to me

when Blitz gets drunk off his face and has to be brought home from the party by Loona, it's framed like a problem because she has to take care of him. as far as parenting goes it's his worst misstep outside of his over protectiveness and smothering of her, but it's at least a momentary blip on his part, and the rest of the time he's supportive, loving and puts her ahead of anything else (something Stolas could stand to learn a thing or two about). we also see in Ozzie's he calls to let her know when he'll be home late - she's old enough not to wait up but he still does it as a courtesy

Stolas meanwhile is about to down a bottle of absinthe at the party before he sees Blitz again, then after Ozzie's is shown waking up after being passed out drunk on his floor

then again in Apology Tour he gets drunker than we've ever seen him

but when Stolas does it, his drunkenness is never framed as being all that bad or as costing him anything. The question "don't you have a daughter to get home to?" just never comes up. And Via is 17 - an older teen but still a teen; she's not 20 like Loona is and she clearly desperately needs some attention from Stolas.

With the night of Ozzies/The Circus we at least know Via was with her mother, but what's the excuse for Apology Tour? what would have happened if Via called Stolas for help with something after Ozzie's the way Loona called up Blitz? And if she's with Stella again, is Stolas really letting his daughter still have visitation with her mother now he knows for sure she tried to kill him? Is he that dumb?

But as far as the writers are concerned Via stops existing as a concern whenever Stolas is supposed to do something most parents would think twice about, because they know they have someone who's dependent on them. They don't think the audience will think this reflects poorly on him because the writers themselves haven't thought about it at all

instead his drinking is yet another thing used by the writers to get across how sad he is - both times he drinks himself into oblivion it's after a fight with Blitz and the viewer is pretty clearly supposed to judge Blitz for "making" Stolas do this by not loving him enough (or at all, tbh). It's yet another yucky parallel between Blitz and Stella, since the other time he starts drinking is at one of her parties. To the writers any emotional pain Stolas has is of the same intensity: whether being demeaned by his wife or rejected by the imp he'd been using for sex

it's the same with his anti-depressants: there's little to no examination in the text about how depression, like alcoholism, is negatively affecting his life. fans keep theorizing his bad reaction to Blitz actually having feelings in full moon was because he was shown to have run out of his meds, but even assuming they wear off that fast we don't see any difference in how he behaves to how he is normally. And given how self-centred and unempathetic he is normally, I doubt there is a difference tbh. His meds are just a shorthand for how sad he is. because that's what depressed people do, right? just take a fistful of pills on an empty stomach with nothing but alcohol in it? and take them in sporadic bursts so they can run out right when the writers need them to have an excuse for behaving like a gaslighting jerk?

honestly when they finally give Stolas his happy ending on a plate it wouldn't surprise me at all if they just wrote him to be magically cured of his depression and his alchoholism because that's how they think it works

That's a very good point, and one I don't think I've heard brought up before. It's another good example of how everyone except Stolas needs to be on their best behavior at all times. Stolas, on the other hand, is allowed to drink as much as he wants, yell as much as he wants, disregard the feelings and consent of others as much as he wants, and ignore his daughter as much as he wants.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that they could show a scene of a younger Stolas getting drunk and forgetting to feed Octavia and I firmly believe this fandom would either rush to make excuses or try to pin it on Stella.

[sysmedsaresexist]

im a system trying to learn more about endos.

so far in syscourse ive only seen proof of cdds being traumagenic but they dont disprove non-cdd plurality, so what sources are there that have evidence of endogenic systems, if you have any?

Right now? There isn't any hard evidence that would satisfy anti endos. There's TONS of papers and articles talking about the recent emergence of endogenic systems, but they're mostly interview based. I debunked a lot of them when I was still anti. Small sample sizes, personal bias about dysfunction levels, all interviews. Those won't stand for those who are skeptical.

Now that I've calmed my gender neutral tits, though, I can look at where all this research is heading, and I can look back and find all the different terms that have been used to describe this same phenomenon. Those terms don't fall under psychology, they appear in journals about consciousness and self and philosophy, and they go all the way back to the 1800s, developing right alongside theories on hysteria and split personality, and the TOSD.

I don't need to do the work for you (/nm), just Google multiple self theory and fall down the rabbit hole. Trust me. One Google search, move at your own pace. It'll mean more when you find all this yourself and make the journey on your own. It was way more effective when I went alone.

That said, I'm not heartless.

The most promising research coming out is the tulpa studies.

Tanya Luhrmann and Michael Lifshitz are incredible, but it's Luhrmann who really stole my heart. She has a long list of work on religious communication with God and "others", and was a huge part of putting tulpas, and several other different voice hearing, religious communities into the fmri scanners to see what's going on. The reddit AMA is being passed around now, and it's largely being ignored by antis, without understanding what it was.

The tulpa studies began... shit, 5 years ago? Covid put a hold on the project, but it's back up and running and they're working on the final paper. The AMA was a chance for people to ask questions to the lead researchers about the project, including whether they found anything.

And they did.

The brains of tulpamancers and other practitioners lit up in unexpected areas and outside of conscious control (very basic overview).

Luhrmann also wrote about how this kind of research can help other voice hearers, and could potentially point to some new therapy opportunities for those struggling.

No, Luhrmann and Lifshitz are not dissociative specialists. Endogenic systems have screamed for decades about how they don't have CDDs and we just refuse to listen. This research is occurring in other areas and specialities. They don't need to be dissociative specialists to work fmri machines and see there's something happening.

My hope is that once the final results are published, we'll see some very quick movements comparing CDDs and endogenic systems. We're not there yet, but I think we'll actually have firm answers within the next couple years.

And after looking into other areas of research, and seeing the potential positives, and that they DID see some unexpected things on the scans...

Not to mention that I've spoken with Colin Ross, THE dissociative expert, who in the 1980s, wrote about "endogenous multiplicity," a subsection of those with MPD that had no trauma history, no dysfunction, no amnesia, etc, and he still stands by that to this very day. I've spoken with several other experts. Go look at Jamie Marich on Twitter and see all her colleagues in the notes.

Anti endo is a dying stance.

Learn nuance while you can (CDDs and endogenic plurality are different, occasionally overlapping), and jump ship before it's too late to take the harm back.

Happy googling and good luck!

[fermiomoriblog]

The pitfalls of every Sunny ship

Diving straight into the hot coals with the first post. But it has been on my mind lately.

The setup in Omori is naturally quite mentally (and in some cases physically) taxing on every main cast character, and a shipper can very easily be overenthusiastic about getting a "happy ending" for their preferred pair, glossing over inconvenient problems and dynamics. I think that it really is rather contrary to the game's themes that this occurs, but it is also understandable that not everybody does a full psychoanalysis of every plot point in their story. I'll list some "common" problems I've personally encountered with people making content about sunburn, suntan and sunflower. I'm more familiar with the dynamics common on ao3 than elsewhere, so if you have any other observations or things to add, please feel free to do so.

# OMORI SPOILERS BELOW #

Sunburn

The "canon" ship. The fact that the ship is explicitly mentioned in game means that the ship is viewed as the "default", and it can lead to some lazy dynamics or lack of justification. You have to remember that no matter what headspace says (and headspace says a lot of things that aren't true), the first thing Sunny and Aubrey did after four years is beat the shit out of each other. Sunny knows nothing about the Hooligans, even though we do, and Aubrey thinks Sunny abandoned her (which is a feeling unlikely to abate after the truth). There needs to be basis for the ship as well - they aren't going to just pick up where they left off (presuming they had anything to leave off in the first place) right away. Which leads us to the first common problem:

Basing the relationship entirely on the past

This is the default reaction and requires the least writing creativity, so it is not surprising that it is common. Simply porting the HS dynamic or the swing scene to the future and copy-pasting is fun and cute and all, but it ignores the fact that both Sunny and Aubrey have changed massively. There's a lot of guilt that is going around, both with Sunny for obvious reasons and Aubrey for pushing Basil in the lake, and Aubrey has a bunch of new, closer friends whom depending on your interpretation are either theatre kids or delinquents. This is not really just going to get talked away on the swing set - they involve third parties.

I would venture to argue that this is actually a very problematic pitfall, despite it being generally not a very serious transgression in real life. Omori, as a game, is about moving on from the past. If you write a fic where the characters forget about bad things in the past but hang on like hell to the good things... that's Headspace. You've just put Sunny in a new Headspace.

Getting Basil out of the way

Even among sunburn/suntan shippers, it is pretty generally accepted that Basil was somewhat attached to Sunny even before the accident. So if you don't want to do sunflower, how do you deal with that?

You can write angst, where Aubrey and Basil end up fighting over Sunny. Weirdly, I've never seen this actually happen (probably because it's too heartbreaking). You can have Basil go to therapy, and get rid of an unhealthy attachment. You can also go the seriously angsty route of Basil hating Sunny for abandonment, Sunny hating Basil for his role in the incident, or a less intense version which just puts a barrier between the two. You can also have Sunny reject Basil. Or you can argue that the attachment was platonic, which is entirely fair.

What you cannot do is have Basil be romantically interested in Sunny, but "get out of the way" for Aubrey "so that Sunny can be happy". Or, well, you can do that, but you can't frame it as anything but serious angst from Basil's POV.

Unfortunately, many, many "pure fluff" Sunburn fics do this, because "pure fluff" fics don't want to untangle the whole thing as most methods involve some degree of emotional turnmoil. This is no ordinary infautation - Basil has waited for Sunny for four years. Nursing unrequited love like that is really, really painful. It is certainly not something that someone with Basil's character and history can do with a smile on their face. If you need any further convincing, I point you to Note to Self: Don't Be Gay in Faraway Town by witheredahlia.

A version of this which I think is a lesser sin (because it is at least framed with some nuance), but a sin regardless, is Aubrey getting annoyed at Basil for "stealing" Sunny's attention from her. This gets dangerously close to the reddit comments you see about "the friend group will be better off if Basil never joined".

Suntan

Despite sunburn being the "canon" and sunflower being the natural alternative, I actually think that this is the default. After all, Kel was the one to bring Sunny out, generally saving his life, and is his first friend, etc. Kel is also a clean slate character, with nothing anyone can particularly hold against them, and as a result suntan is the "healthiest", "least questionable" ship. This commits the customary mistake of believing Kel's parents when they say "eh, it's Kel, he'll be fine".

"Kel's fine"

No, he's not. He's spent the better part of four years trying to forget the happiest times of his childhood, and has been going around doing nothing but fixing and saving other people, putting others' needs far above his own, for the entirety of pre-canon and foreseeably for a good part of post canon as well. Suntan, especially with Sunny still in a vulnerable state post-canon, can very easily be written into Kel being Sunny's unpaid, untrained therapist, and his mood/health being Kel's only/majority source of validation. Kel's self-worth independent of his friends needs addressing and development, and without a lot of development, Sunny alone is not really equipped to provide that.

In all fairness, while I would be somewhat confident in saying that the majority of canon-compliant sunburn fics run into the problems above, suntan fics do usually handle it better. That might just be because there aren't that many suntan fics though.

Sunflower

It goes without saying that sunflower has the highest potential to be unhealthy. But precisely because of that fact, people writing sunflower are usually very careful to address it. Either the fic is written as a work exploring codependency/attachment/trauma/other general unhealthiness (which you can make your own judgement on whether it's a legitimate art form or problematic), or there is at minimum an attempt at pacing, therapy and general juggling of the various mental issues the game leaves Sunny and Basil with (for a shining example, see These Days Without You by Smitty1899, my go to answer for when anyone says "but sunflower toxic!!1!").

The issues that can make sunflower unhealthy and problematic are generally pretty obvious - shared crime, codependency and attachment, commitment and abandonment issues, and the whole "getting together before their friends forgive them" thing (which can still be done well, but from the POV of especially Hero can be kind of eh, and unlikely to be conducive to a healthy relationship given that it kind of depends on their friends' pending "approval".) As a result, there aren't a lot of works that don't address them in one manner or another. However, I do think there is one major pitfall that some fics fall into in the other direction:

Having everything in the relationship be dependent on someone else's approval.

In an attempt to make sunflower as healthy as possible, some authors make it so that Sunny and Basil effectively never make decisions on their own. There's always a third party present to psychoanalyse them, tell them what's fine and what's not, etc. and every step they make in their relationship is with the express blessing, support and help of the rest of their friends. The problem is, that's not healthy either.

I feel that the value of sunflower is greatest in the context of the themes of the game of moving on and forgiveness. Making it so that Sunny and Basil hang on to their guilt forever and robbing them of any "right" to decide for themselves what makes them happy is very much contrary to that - they're on crutches for the rest of their lives, and the point of the good ending is the hope that they won't need to be. It also is just not a good thing for any third party to intervene so extensively in a relationship.

Conclusion

Omori is emotionally deep, with many, many themes to explore. Ships in Omori have unique meanings and themes, which in a canon compliant context is quite hard to simply wipe away. Rushing into a ship with insufficient pacing and development, which works in "cute" fandoms, generally leaves lots of outstanding holes in Omori.

This post doesn't necessarily mean that I think less of any particular ship mentioned - to reiterate, every ship has unique meanings and themes which is interesting to explore and form a part of the message of the game. It is however true that some pitfalls in some ships are easier to fall in, and overlooked, than others, and the obvious problems get a lot more bashing than the non-obvious ones. (Yes, sunflower bias. Sue me.)

And of course, in a plotless or AU context, cute art is cute art.

[notafragilething]

Buck/Tommy Late Night Ramblings: The Data (the 24 hour update)

We've passed the 24 hour point of the official 911 ABC Instagram posting the Buck and Tommy hospital kiss and holy shit, it performed better than I anticipated. Views have slowed, which is to be expected, but not as much as I anticipated. So let's get into the numbers.

If you want to take a minute to review what they were last night, check out 5/5 nightly BuckTommy ramble post here.

First major news is that multiple other videos were uploaded today, which brings the total number of reels on the official account to 113 with the average view count of 379k (so that has remained unchanged).

The hospital kiss has, as of the time I'm posting this, had 791k views, 75k in likes and 2k in comments. When we compare that to last night, it was an increase of 256k in views (so roughly a quarter million on it's second day), 19k in likes and 500 additional comments.

Overall, it moved from being the 22nd most viewed reel on the Instagram to 9th most viewed reel. The fact it was able to break the top 10 already shows just how much engagement this video is getting.

I also went down and broke down the top 11 videos so we can look at those closer.

Happy 1-18 Day (15 weeks ago): 4.1 million views

Trailer for Season 7 - Day of Premiere (7 weeks ago): 2.2 million

The Bachelor Promo (4 weeks ago): 1.4 million

The Bachelor Promo 2 (4 weeks ago): 1.4 million

Wedding Cliffhanger Scene / End of Episode 4 (3 weeks ago): 1.3 million

Happy Holidays from Angela (19 weeks ago): 1.1 million

Oliver Making a Basket on set of episode 4 (5 weeks ago): 927k

Name the Season Episode Title (1 week ago): 926k

Buck and Tommy Hospital Kiss & Coming Out (1 day ago): 791k

Buck Coming out to Eddie (3 weeks ago): 764k

JLH Song for Wedding (3 days ago): 753k

So a few observations about these:

I include 11 reels because I don't really consider the Happy 1-18 a good representation of the top videos. That clip is only a few seconds long and loops really quickly. That explains why it has 4 million views compared to everything else.

Most of these videos have been up 3+ weeks to pull these type of numbers.

I think it's interesting the Madney/Chimney song video is pulling very similar numbers as the Buck/Tommy kiss in the same time frame. This, to me, suggests a similar appeal to the ships in regards to how fans are engaging. Which is a very, very good sign. It also passed the Buddie coming out scene which honestly surprised me. I didn't anticipate that happening so quickly.

Comments also remain overwhelming positive.

I'm gong to update the numbers tomorrow night but I don't predict a huge movement in it's overall place. As you can see, spot 8 and up are basically at the million and higher mark. I do have confidence that this video will eventually hit that but when that will be is determined by how quickly the views slow down (which naturally occurs as we get further and further away from the date it's posted).

I've also decided to keep doing these nightly BuckTommy rambles so please follow, comment and send me ideas of what you'd like me to talk about.

[turbulenthandholding]

Richie as Director Avatar and Taylor Swift

I was talking with @thoughtfulchaos773 earlier today and something occurred to me about Richie singing Love Story in Forks. There has been a lot of really wonderful meta lately touching on Richie's role in the show. There's @currymanganese's excellent point that Richie is Storer's avatar as well as all of @thoughtfulchaos773's posts about Filmmaking and Season 3/Richie as Director (Part 1 / Part 2).

Anyway, previously I hadn't thought much about Love Story being the Taylor Swift song that they had Richie sing. It's well known, it's a song that would make sense that his young daughter would gravitate towards and would have exposed him to. There's a purity and joy to it that fits with the earnestness he gains in his journey throughout the action of Forks. However, with the context of all of the other great meta out there, it occurred to me that if we think of Richie as Director and Observer of Carmy's Love Life (as thoughtfulchaos773 called him in Filmmaking Meta Part 1), the choice of Love Story as the song is a LOT more significant. Richie is telling viewers what the story of The Bear is...it's a love story. And it's a love story with Sydney as opposed to the horror/haunting story that's being laid out with Claire (here and here and probably others I'm not finding right now).

I've also been trying to make sense of the use of Long Live, which plays in the background of the conversation that Richie has with Frank in Violet. I was expecting to get another Taylor Swift song in Season 3, but all of the guesses I had made were more directly tied to Richie's plot and story (This is Me Trying was my main prediction). So I was very surprised that the song they picked was Long Live. But in considering Richie as Director Surrogate, this choice starts to make a lot of sense.

I don't think the choice of song is trying to say anything about Richie and Tiff's relationship, or Richie getting over her, or his maturity in handling the conversation with Frank. Long Live is a song that Taylor Swift wrote for her band, in celebration of her first headlining tour (for Fearless). In our chat, @thoughtfulchaos773 suggested that Long Live is a reference to Richie's looking back and reflecting at The Beef (and contrasting the experience of working at The Beef with the experience of working at The Bear) and hoping that sense of comradery and joy is able to be found at The Bear eventually -- and I think that makes a lot of sense.

I said remember this feeling I passed the pictures around Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines Wishing for right now We are the kings and the queens You traded your baseball cap for a crown When they gave us our trophies And we held them up for our town And the cynics were outraged Screaming, "This is absurd" 'Cause for a moment, a band of thieves In ripped up jeans got to rule the world

There are a couple of other things that stand out to me in the song:

I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made" And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid

Magic and sleight-of-hand are themes that come up in Season 3, and it may be because I have Unreasonable Hospitality on the brain, but it is important to Richie, who lists the dream weave as one of his non-negotiables. Will Guidara writes in UH that for a while at Eleven Madison Park, they used a literal magic trick to reveal dessert to guests during one of their courses. And EMP also employed an entire team of Dreamweavers whose sole responsibility was to make hospitality personal and special for their guests (seen in Season 3 in the scene with the Surprise with the cake and Richie singing happy birthday in Spanish). I don't necessarily think they picked the song to make this reference but there is a through line there, even if unintended -- and I do think that, dropped fork notwithstanding, Richie's journey towards Unreasonable Hospitality genuinely has become his purpose.

The second thing that stands out to me, which might well be more of an intentional reference, comes from the last verse (which plays as Richie asks Frank about how he got his house):

Will you take a moment? Promise me this That you'll stand by me forever But if, God forbid, fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children someday When they point to the pictures Please tell them my name Tell them how the crowds went wild Tell them how I hope they shine

I am reminded of this very excellent meta of @currymanganese's which posits the name of the restaurant Fairest Creatures alludes to one of Shakespeare's procreation sonnets. I think this verse alludes to (or directs our attention towards):

Season 3's theme of legacy

The hope of reconciliation between Richie and Carmy

An allusion to Carmy's future children and sharing the legacy of The Beef/The Bear with them

[willalove75]

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 14 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Alcina and Donna have a chat. You wake up and you and Alcina have a heart-to-heart. She tells you about the mold and her experiences with the cadou.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: Fluff, softness, canon violence, a dash of angst

Notes: Part 14! I'm SO sorry that this chapter is so late! I decided to make it a little extra long to make up for it💕

Click here for the rest of the series

A maid walks in with a tray in her hands after Alcina sits across from Donna. Setting it down on the coffee table, she looks up at Alcina.

"Tea or wine my Lady?"

"Wine, please." Alcina says as she pulls her cigarette case along with her lighter out of her bra. A slight blush crosses the maids cheeks while she opens the wine bottle and pours it into Alcina's glass. Donna gives Alcina a look, surprised she acted so casually in front of one of her maids. Meanwhile, Alcina lights a cigarette and deeply inhales. She blows the smoke away from the maid and Donna.

"I apologize for my lack of etiquette but I am unable to muster the energy at the moment to present myself as I normally would." Alcina says to the maid, resting her forehead on the heel of her hand as she holds the cigarette between two fingers.

"There is no reason to apologize, my Lady. We know the day has been," she pauses, nervously searching for the right word. "rather stressful." She hands Alcina her goblet, who immediately drinks from the glass.

"Tea, Lady Beneviento?"

"Yes please."

The maid pours the tea for Donna and hands her the cup.

"Thank you, that will be all. Please see to it that we are not interrupted unless, gods forbid, yet another emergency occurs."

"Of course, my Lady." The maid says with a bow before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

Alcina downs the rest of her wine in one gulp and refills her glass.

"Oh how I wish I were still able to get drunk." She mutters to herself, looking down into the glass of swirling red liquid.

"Even regeneration properties can be a double edged sword." Donna says as she lifts her veil to take a sip of tea.

"What was it you wanted to speak about again?" Alcina asks.

"A few things, truthfully, including next weeks meeting."

"Ah, yes. Mother Miranda." Alcina says, taking another drag from her cigarette.

"But before that," Looking up at Donna, Alcina is unsure of what she's about to say. "I never doubted you when you told me how much you cared for the girl, however, I may have underestimated just how much you truly care for her. I don't think I've ever seen you look at anyone the way you looked at her, sister. You must truly love her."

Alcina feels a light blush creep across her cheeks and she tries to hide it by taking another sip of wine as she nods.

"I do, Donna. I do."

"She makes you happy?"

"The happiest I've ever been. I've never been happier, save for when I was given the girls. Although the love I have for her and the love I have for the girls are vastly different, all four of them have captured my heart."

"Well sister, the love between mother and child and the love shared between lovers are two entirely different kinds of love. I am very happy to see you so happy. It's been a long time."

"It certainly has."

"Now, regarding the meeting." Alcina takes another drag of her cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray. "Alcina you know my loyalty lies with you, however, I also will not stand against Mother for a foolish reason."

Alcina feels her body tense up as she stares into where Donna's eyes are behind the veil.

"Donna-"

"Please, let me finish." Alcina drinks from her glass and clenches her jaw, her grip tightening around the goblet. "But, I trust you and your judgment and I can see solely from the way you look at that girl that your reasoning for standing up against Mother if you must is anything but a foolish reason. Again, my loyalty lies with you Alcina. Wherever you go, Angie and myself will gladly follow."

A breath Alcina didn't realize she was holding releases as she feels her anger fade away.

"Thank you, Donna."

"What are you planning on doing for this meeting next week? You know you can't walk in, claws out and ready to attack."

"No, absolutely not. Mother's powers are far stronger than mine, even with immortality on my side I fear that if I go up against her, I won't survive."

"You won't." Donna says matter-of-factly.

"I plan on masking my feelings for her, for y/n. I don't know what Mother wants with her, or if she wants to test me. I'm uncertain of her motives. So my plan is to attend the meeting as usual, keep y/n close by my side at all times and if I have to protect her, I will without hesitation."

"I think that is a wise plan Alcina. How do you think she is going to handle the meeting? Has she met any of the other Lords?"

"No, she hasn't. She only met Mother."

"Do you have any concerns of her meeting the other Lords?"

"Not particularly. If I could keep her from ever having to interact with that child Heisenberg I would, but only because he is insufferable. I have no qualms with Salvatore, although I do not trust him. I would not put it past the poor creature to use whatever he has as his disposal to try to make himself appear more valuable to Mother. He's so desperate for her affection, it's pitiful."

"He is not the only one who pines for her acceptance, Alcina."

Alcina shoots Donna a glare and continues.

"Regardless, I have no fears of her meeting the other Lords."

"And for the rest of the meeting?"

"I have no doubts that she will be on her best behavior, more than likely nervous, but that's to be expected. But she's diligent and obedient and she's well aware of the dangers of stepping out of line in front of Miranda so I have no concerns regarding her or her behavior."

"Very well then, I'm glad to hear of your confidence in her."

"How do you think the mold will affect her?"

"Truthfully, I am not sure. It may not have any effect on her given she was only exposed to traces of the mold. The salve contains mold, but is not entirely composed of it. If she were to be truly infected, I believe any mutations that were to occur, would have by now. Given she only drank half of a bottle and subsequently threw most of it up, I don't think there was enough in her system to have any true, noticeable effects. I would keep a close eye on her just in case."

Alcina goes to speak but is interrupted by the door slamming open. Angie flies into the room and flies around Alcina.

"Sheeeeee's awakeeeee!! Your little friend is so cute even after she rolled down the stairs!"

Alcina swats at Angie to try and get her away. Angie stops just above Alcina and Alcina looks up into the dolls eyes and glares.

"Get out of my way." Alcina growls.

"Ohhhh someone's touchy! What? Can't handle being away from your lover for five minutes?! Tsk tsk, how would Mother Miranda feel knowing you've become so attached to a human!" Angie's screeching cackle echoes through the room.

Alcina begins to shake with anger, her claws slowly extend, digging into the arms of the chair.

"Angie! That is enough." Donna scolds the doll.

"Oh come on Dondon! I'm just playing!" She says as she floats into Donna's lap.

Alcina makes a disgusted face at the horrid nickname and her claws retract.

"Donna, thank you, for everything." Alcina says as she stands.

"Of course, I'm glad I was able to help and I am glad she is okay."

"What about me?!" Angie whines.

"You are nothing but a nuisance." She spits.

"Oh come on Alci! You're no fun!"

"Do not call me that."

"Ugh! No fun!"

Alcina decides to leave the room before she loses her quickly thinning patience and rips the doll to shreds. Making her way towards her bedroom, she hears a group of heartbeats coming from the room. Worried that some mutation happened, Alcina throws the door open to find her three girls sitting around you.

She's relieved and happily surprised when she sees Daniela laying next to you and Bela and Cassandra both sitting on the edge of the bed.

The four of you turn around when the door is thrown open and you see Alcina step into the room. A look of worry on her face melts into happiness as her eyes scan each of you.

"Hi mother! We hope you didn't mind us sending Angie to let you know y/n was awake, we didn't want to leave her." Daniela says, curled into you.

"As much as I detest that doll, I don't. Thank you for letting me know." She says as she walks further into the room and stands at the side of the bed in between Bela and Cassandra. She reaches out her hand and gently brushes the hair out of your face. "How are you feeling, draga?"

Truthfully, you still felt like shit, but you weren't in any pain anymore. Your body was sore and you felt exhausted.

"I'm okay, sore, tired."

"Daughters, why don't you go downstairs?"

Alcina's suggestion was met with a chorus of whines and displeasure.

"But mom!"

"Do we have to?"

"Why?"

"Because she needs to get cleaned up and rest."

"But-"

"My word is final."

Reluctantly, the girls get up and make their way out of the room. But not before each giving you a hug, with Daniela kissing your head before floating away.

Alcina sits on the edge of the bed and gently cups your cheek, caressing you with her thumb. The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments.

As you look into her eyes you see the softness that made you fall in love with her. You can see how she's looking at you, with adoration, with love, with concern. For someone who wears such a strong mask all of the time, everything she's feeling and thinking is etched into her face right now. How can someone think of her as vicious? As evil? Your mind starts to spiral at the thought. How could she kill Stefana like that? How can she be so kind and loving, yet so ruthless? The push and pull of your thoughts start to overwhelm you and Alcina immediately picks up on it.

"What's the matter?"

"I-I'm just having a hard time processing everything, is all."

"I'm sure, between getting shoved down the stairs and then healed the way you were, it must be difficult."

"It's not only that." You say as you look down. "Its," you voice trails off and Alcina lets out a small sigh.

"How I killed her?"

Your eyes slowly look up, meeting hers. Expecting to see frustration in her eyes, you're surprised when the softness is still there.

"That, and that you killed her, period."

"Darling, you do know she's not the only person I've done that to, yes? She is far from the first person I've had to kill."

"How many people?"

Alcina pauses for a moment to think.

"I stopped counting decades ago, I believe I lost count around 75 or 80. I'm sure it's well into the hundreds by now, a thousand even."

She says it in such a casual manner you wouldn't believe she was talking about murder if someone joined in the conversation right then. This woman, the woman you love, has taken the lives of so many. It's not really something you thought about or took into consideration before this since you were never exposed to it.

Your mind begins to wander, spiraling a bit at the thought. Alcina notices you get lost and she pulls you out before you go into a complete spiral.

"Draga, I know this must be difficult for you, but you did know of the rumors surrounding this castle, didn't you? I heard you tell your aunt the day you were sold to me that they were sending you to your death. Surely you were aware of what goes on here."

"I was, but, I don't know. It's so hard making it make sense. It made sense when I thought everything in this castle was evil, that you were bloodthirsty and killed for fun. But now, I know you. I know your heart, I know that this castle isn't filled with evil, that you all just do what you have to to survive. You, the girls, you're all so amazing, and I love you all so much and it's so hard for me to think that you also do this horrible things too because that's not who you are."

"Oh, draga." She says as she lays down next to you and pulls you into her. "You are truly one of the sweetest souls I've ever come to know." Placing a kiss on your head, Alcina hugs you tighter. "I know it's difficult to rationalize, and I hope this doesn't change the way you feel towards me, towards the girls, but that is who we are. I believe Zina has said this before, nothing is 100% good or 100% evil. Yes, the girls and I have all of those wonderful qualities that you love, but we also have dark ones. Ones that make us monsters to the outside world. Humans are complex creatures, once there's a mutation involved, the complexity increases tenfold. I have to admit, I tried to shield you from the horrors that go on here as best as I could, it's one of the reasons I explicitly told you to stay away from the dungeons. But I knew in time that the façade would crumble and you would see what truly happens here. I just hoped it wouldn't be at your expense, and for that I am so deeply sorry."

Alcina hugs you a little tighter and buries her nose in your hair. Both Alcina's and Zina's words repeat in your head. "Nothing is 100% good or 100% evil." "They have good in them, sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see it." Trying to reconcile both parts of Alcina and the girls into one isn't something you're going to be able to do instantaneously, there's a part of you that's afraid you're going to lose your humanity if you do. But as you're laying here in Alcina's arms, the only thing that matters is how much you love her, how much you care for her and how much she loves you.

"I love you, Alcina." You whisper as you curl into her more.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, draga mea."

Alcina places a kiss on your temple and her hand goes to rest against the back of your head. As she does, you're both reminded of the dried blood matted in your hair. Honestly, you're still covered in blood, dried blood now, and even though Alcina changed, she still has a decent amount on her as well.

"You should get washed up, you still have blood caked in your hair." Alcina says softly. "Can you get up?"

She moves to let go of you and you try to sit up. There's no sharp pain, but your whole body hurts, your whole body feels like one gigantic bruise. Alcina notices you struggle and helps sit you up.

"Here, let me, I don't want you hurting yourself further." She stands up and scoops you into her arms bridal style and walks you into the bathroom.

"Let me help you bathe, I want to make sure all of the blood gets out of your hair."

"You have to shower too, right?" You ask.

"Yes, but I can do that after you're done." She says, smiling down at you.

"Would you, you don't have to, but, would you want to join me?"

"Draga, please don't feel like you have to-"

"I don't, I promise. I just want you close is all."

Alcina's heart is so full she feel like it's going to explode inside of her chest. As you look up at her with the biggest eyes, she falls in love all over again.

"Of course, draga mea."

She sits you on the bench and you start to take off your clothes as Alcina fills the tub and removes her dress and underwear. Normally when you see her naked, you immediately want to pounce on her. This time, all you see is her beauty. There's a nervousness to her you never would have expected, but oddly, it comforts you to know that even with the mutation she's still able to hold onto her humanity.

Alcina picks you up and brings you to the tub. After she steps in she lowers the both of you into the water.

You let out a soft hiss as the water hits your skin but you quickly adjust to the temperature.

"Is it too hot?" Alcina asks with concern in her voice.

"No, it's perfect, I just needed a second to adjust." You say as you look up at her.

She places a kiss on your forehead and lays your back against her chest. The dried blood from your skin runs into the water in light pink trails. Alcina cups the water in her hand and pours it over your back and shoulders, the warmth soothing you aching muscles. She pours some of the water over herself and you can feel the streams slide between your bodies. Scooting you forward, Alcina tilts your head back and begins to pour the water over your hair. Once she's satisfied, you're able to lift your head while she lathers the shampoo into her hands.

Looking down you realize that the water is stained pink, a sadness washes over you although you're unsure why. It's a big tub you're both in, for the water to be stained pink, there had to be a lot of blood on the two of you. You lift your hand from the water and watch as the pink liquid runs between your fingers back into the tub.

"Pay that no mind, draga mea." Alcina says as she begins to massage the shampoo into your scalp. She smirks when she hears you let out a sigh as she washes your hair. "Good," she hums. "just relax my pet, let me take care of you."

After she rinses out the shampoo, Alcina coats the ends of your hair with conditioner and begins to brush out the knots and matts. She washes out the conditioner and proceeds to shampoo and condition her own hair. Once she's finished with that, she pours a generous amount of soap onto a washcloth and begins to wash your body.

Alcina drags the washcloth across your skin with care, making sure she removes every ounce of stubborn dried blood that hasn't yet been washed away. As she washes you, she examines your body, her heart aching at every bruise she comes across.

The healing salve healed every cut and all of the major injuries you sustained, but tender bruises still remain. Where your ribs and wrist were once broken, deep purple bruises developed. As much as Alcina hates that they litter your body, it provides her some relief knowing you weren't exposed to too much of the mold. Enough to heal your major wounds, but not enough to cause any mutations or more harm.

She turns you around and holds your chin as she wipes the dried blood from your face. You watch her eyes as the scan every inch of your skin. Making sure not a single speck of blood is left. After one more once-over she nods to herself, satisfied. Her eyes flick down and meet yours and the corner of her lips curl into a faint smile. With your chin still between her thumb and forefinger, she tilts your face up and captures your lips in a gentle yet passionate kiss.

When her lips leave yours, she looks into your eyes for a few moments before placing a kiss on your forehead. The sensation of her lips lingers on your skin after she pulls away. Alcina turns you back around and washes herself. More trails of blood seep into the water as she washes off the remainder of the soap on her skin.

Alcina wraps her arm around your middle and pulls you into her. She reaches across the tub and pulls out the drain stopper. You watch as the blood stained water whirlpools around the drain and disappears. All of the blood, a mixture of yours and Stefana's, vanishing as if it was never there to begin with. Thinking the bath is done, you move to get up. Alcina pulls you tighter into her, keeping you in place.

"We are not quite finished yet draga. I want you to soak for a little longer. However, sitting in bloody water is not ideal so I am drawing a fresh bath."

When the water finally drains Alcina replaces the stopper and turns on the taps to fill the tub up once more. The sensation of the cool air against your wet skin sends a shiver down your spine and you shudder. Alcina feels you shake in her arms and pulls you closer. Her usually cool skin is now warm from the bath. The chill in your body melts as she wraps both of her arms around you while the tub continues to fill.

She shifts around behind you and you hear the clinking of glass bottles. You watch as she pours some of her oils and salts into the tub as it fills. The aromas rise through the steam, mixing and mingling together to form a relaxing and calming scent.

The two of you lay in the tub in a comfortable silence as the water continues to rise. Alcina rests her cheek on the top of your head and you feel her let out a heavy exhale. Tightening your grip a little on her arms that are wrapped around you, she hums in response and gently brushes her nose against the shell of your ear.

Alcina leans forward when the tub fills, her arm tightening around you, keeping you close to her, and turns off the taps. She rests against the back of the tub and you lean back against her chest. Another comfortable silence washes over the two of you as you relax in each others arms. Alcina's nails aimlessly dance along your sides and you trace random shapes across her thighs.

This truly feels like the longest day to ever exist. It feels like you were asked to help Alcina with filing days ago, not this morning. Like your confrontation with Stefana was so long ago. That all of the pain you endured from tumbling down the stairs didn't occur just a few hours ago. Especially since you sustained injuries that should have taken weeks to heal, not instantly. But now, here you were. Relaxing in the bath with Alcina holding you tightly against her. Without realizing it, you let out a sigh and allow yourself to fully relax into her.

"Are you alright, draga?" Alcina asks.

"Mhm." You hum. "It's just been a long day."

"It certainly has been." She says with a sigh. "I believe I still owe you an explanation." Craning your neck, you look up at her with confusion written across your face. "About the mold."

You feel the lightbulb go off in your head.

"Oh, right. What is it?"

"I might as well start from the beginning if I want to give you an accurate picture." She says.

Alcina begins to tell you about how Miranda lost her daughter, Eva, and came across the Megamycete, also known as The Black God and it bestowed her incredible powers. From there, she began experimenting on residents of the village to try and find a "vessel" that could host her daughters consciousness that lived on in the Megamycete. Eventually, she created the Cadou, a parasite that causes the host to mutate in hopes of creating a perfect vessel for Eva. Miranda used the parasite on the descendants of the four founders of the village. Donna, Karl, Salvatore and herself.

"I was the first successful experiment." Alcina says. "And by 'successful,' I mean I didn't die or turn into a moroaică or a lycan. But in Miranda's eyes I was still considered a failure because I was not an acceptable vessel for Eva."

"Why not?"

"Because the cadou didn't necessarily cure my blood disease. Instead, I now rely on the blood of humans to survive."

The puzzle pieces in your mind begin to fall into place.

"What was it like? When you got the cadou?"

"It was horrific. I had never experienced pain like that in my entire life. Every second was more painful and excruciating than the last. It took weeks for my mutation to complete and I was given nothing to help with the pain."

"Wait, so she just let you suffer?"

"Yes. She wanted to document how it affected my body and needed me to be conscious to properly document the outcome."

"So you just woke up in pain and continued to be in pain for weeks?"

"There was no 'waking up in pain.'"

"I don't understand."

Alcina sighs and you look up. Her eyes have a faraway look in them as she recalls the procedure.

"I was dying, as I told you before. Mother Miranda promised me immortality, great power, endless beauty, and a cure. With nothing left to lose I immediately accepted her offer and met her here in the village. She brought me into her lab and briefly explained the procedure. Not once did she mention the torture I was about to endure. I stripped and laid down on the operating table. Mother Miranda strapped me down and it wasn't until then did I think I may have made a mistake. That she was not honest with her intentions. But it was too late. She carved into my body and implanted the cadou."

"And you were awake the whole time?"

"Yes. I felt every single thing she did to me." You look up at her with concern in your eyes. Alcina looks down at you and sees the look on your face. "Please don't fret about it draga mea, it was a very, very long time ago."

"But still-"

"But still nothing, what has happened has happened. There is nothing either one of us can do that will change the past. The only thing I can do now is protect you from experiencing the torture I endured."

Nodding your head, you lean back against Alcina who wraps her arms around you again.

"So what happened after that?"

She continues to explain how Miranda trusted her, made her a Lord, and even allowed her to conduct her own experiments on maids of the castle under Miranda's supervision.

"So you implanted the cadou into your maids? Is that what Miranda came for the first time I met her?"

"Yes. The experiments still take place in the laboratory in the dungeons." A shiver crawls up your spine and doesn't go unnoticed by Alcina. There it is again, that push and pull between viewing Alcina as the woman you love and the ruthless murderer she is.

"You put them through the same torture that you went through?"

"Essentially. Most of the moroaică, were dead maids before implanting the cadou into them. But yes, some maids were alive when they were experimented on."

"Why would you do that? If you knew how horrible it was, why would you knowingly put someone else through the same thing?!"

"It's complicated, draga. Mother Miranda did not give me a choice in the beginning. And in order to survive, I needed flesh and blood. I was revolted at first, truly. The thought of killing people, eating them, drinking their blood was awful. But as time went on, I became accustomed to what I had to do to survive."

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Enjoy what?"

"Killing people, eating them, drinking their blood? All of it."

"Do you really want to know the answer to that?"

You pause for a moment to consider her question. Is that really an answer you need? Will you be able to live with yourself if you say no, will you be able to sleep at night not knowing how she feels? Although you have a feeling you already know what her answer will be. What if she says yes? Will you be able to live with yourself for loving someone who enjoys such horrific things? No matter how you answer her question, no answer is going to sit right with you.

The newfound relationship between you and Alcina is being rebuilt on trust and honesty. How can you possibly keep that going if you don't give her the opportunity to be honest with you? Even if it's at your expense. No, you don't want to know the answer, but she deserves the opportunity to be honest with you.

"No, not really. But it would be wrong for me to deny you the chance to be honest with me about these things. So, no, I don't want to know, but you deserve the chance to tell me the truth, regardless of how I'm going to feel about it."

"Draga, are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ask me again."

"Do you enjoy killing people?"

"Yes."

Even though you knew what her answer was going to be deep down, her confession washed over you like a bucket of cold water. Here you were, laying in the arms of a true predator. Someone who enjoyed killing, who took pleasure in torturing people. She could rip you to shreds in an instant and would probably be able to find the joy in it even though she loves you.

Yet somehow, you still loved her. It made your stomach twist in all of the wrong ways knowing you were in love with someone like that. It made you begin to question your own sanity. Your mind raced a million miles an hour as you tried to sort through the thousands of thoughts and emotions that began to surface. Alcina was well aware of the fact that you were struggling to process what she said, that you were trying to make sense of it. She sat there in silence with her arms wrapped around you for a few minutes, allowing you time to process everything. She finally broke the silence when she felt you were starting to spiral.

"I know it's not easy to understand, or to accept." Alcina says, brushing your hair away from your face and pulling you back to reality. "I know how you see me, how you see the girls. You see the parts of us that the rest of the world refuses to believe exists. You see the humanity in us and I cannot begin to describe how wonderful it has been to be viewed as human instead of a monster. But we are both. We are humans. Mutants would perhaps be a more accurate term. Regardless, we are humans and monsters, draga mea." You recoil a little when you hear Alcina call herself and the girls monsters. It makes your blood want to boil. "I despise when people call us monsters, I truly do. But part of the reason that I hate it so much is because there is truth to it. It's an ugly, horrible truth, but it's the truth. We are monsters, draga. Even though we are more than that, it's still apart of who we are."

"Then what does that make me? Does it mean that I've lost my humanity? Don't get me wrong, I hate that you enjoy hurting people, it makes me feel sick. But it doesn't make me love you or the girls any less. That scares me Alcina."

Alcina's knuckle rests under your chin and she guides your gaze up towards her. Her golden eyes are glowing and you lose yourself in them for a moment.

"It makes you the most kind, most understanding person I've ever met. I never thought that anyone would ever be able to see past the horrors. That we would only ever be seen as monsters. Then you came along. For the first time since I became what I am today, a human saw me as more than just a monster. You saw the humanity in me I thought I lost long ago. You have every right to be scared, but I promise, no matter what, I will keep you safe. I will never harm you and I will do everything to ensure that no harm ever comes to you again."

And you believed her. There are probably hundreds, thousands of people who would call you stupid for believing her, but none of them know Alcina like you do. If she says you're safe, that she would never hurt you, that she would go to the ends of the earth to protect you, it's the truth.

She goes on to explain one particular experiment where the cadou was used on three maids. Over the course of a week, blowflies consumed their bodies and eventually assimilated their DNA and were able to reform as the maids. They became the Countess's three daughters. Bela woke up first, then Cassandra and then finally Daniela.

"They were all deemed failures, unacceptable vessels for Eva because of their vulnerability to the cold. None of them remember their lives before the cadou implantation and when they awoke I immediately formed a bond with them. Miranda decided to gift the girls to me, for me to raise as my own. After decades of being in this castle alone and isolated, aside from the maids, I finally had a family of my own, three beautiful daughters. It was the happiest day of my life."

You look up at Alcina and immediately notice the beautiful glow in her eyes as she thought back on the memory. A smile ghosting her lips as she talked about the girls. Her eyes slowly shift down to you and lock with yours. She leans down and places a kiss on your forehead and holds you tighter.

"So the mold I drank came from the Black God?"

"Yes, although there were only traces of the mold in the salve. It was not composed entirely of mold which is why you remained unaffected by it. I suspect that only drinking half of the bottle and throwing up most of what you did drink was also a factor."

"Will I have a higher tolerance to it now since I've drank it?"

"I do not know draga. Truthfully, I would never like to find out. The risks associated with infecting you with the mold or the cadou are dangerous. I will fight to the death to keep you from experiencing it, to keep you safe. To keep me from losing you. I can't lose you draga mea. I can't. I won't." Her tone becomes harsh and protective as her grip around you tightens. "Especially after today. I thought you were- I stopped hearing your heartbeat- you were on the floor, in a pool of blood-" Alcina shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut, holding back tears. "I can't lose you. I'm certain it would kill me."

Even in her tight grip, you manage to turn around and wrap your arms around her neck. Alcina cradles the back of your head with one hand and the other sprawls out across your back.

"I love you, Alcina."

"Si eu te iubesc draga mea." (I love you too my darling.)

The two of you hold each other for a few minutes. Never have you felt more vulnerable, more in love, or felt this close to Alcina as you lay there skin-to-skin.

Neither of you realized the bath water had gone cold until goosebumps covered across your skin.

Alcina holds you close to her, her hand still against your back, and leans forward to pull the drain plug. She stands with you in her arms and grabs an extra large towel to wrap around the both of you. Exhaustion begins to make itself known in your body as she carries you into the bedroom. Alcina dries the both of you off and sits you down on the bed. She walks over to the wardrobe and pulls out two nightgowns in two very different sizes. The smaller one for you, the much larger one for herself.

Once you're both dressed, Alcina pulls down the duvet and you wiggle underneath it. She gracefully slides under the sheets next to you and covers you both with the duvet once more. You cuddle into Alcina as close as you possibly can and she chuckles. Sliding her arm underneath you, Alcina rolls onto her back and pulls you on top of her.

"Goodnight my love." She says as she places a kiss on your forehead.

"Goodnight Alcina." Your voice barely a whisper as you drift off to sleep.

When you wake up your whole body feels cold and sore. As your eyes flicker open, it takes them a moment to adjust to the dim light. You have no idea where you are. Sitting up in a daze, you realize you're laying on a cold, stone floor. A piercing scream jolts you out of your daze and you stand up.

"Alcina?" You call out with a shaking voice.

A second scream rings out and your eyes dart around as you try to figure out your surroundings.

"Where am- is this the dungeon?" You think to yourself. Another scream echoes through the air.

Turning to your left you see the rusted cell door is open and you step out into the dungeon. More noises echo down the hall and you follow them as your heart beats wildly in your chest.

Terrifying cackles and giggles grow louder and louder. The hall opens up to a larger room and you see three cloaked figures bending over something. The closer you get you realize they're on top of someone, a maid, who's flailing underneath them.

"Daniela? Bela? Cass?"

The girls turn around and you immediately notice there's blood covering their faces and running down the front of their dresses. Their eyes are wide and wild. Looking down, you freeze when you see Stefana on the floor, reaching out towards you. She has massive chunks bitten from her flesh.

"Help me! Please!" She screams. "They're monsters!"

You take a few shaking steps backwards and fall as the girls walk towards you.

"Alcina!" You cry out.

The sound of a dark chuckle fills your ears and a figure emerges from the shadows. Looking up, you freeze in fear when you see Alcina. Her eyes are swirling gold and she has the most sinister look on her face. She walks up to Stefana and looks down, her smile growing wider. Alcina reaches down and lifts Stefana by her shirt.

"Please-" Stefana begins to scream but Alcina bites down hard on her throat and rips it out. Blood splatters everywhere and you let out a blood-curdling scream.

Alcina tosses Stefana's body away and continues her walk towards you. The girls step aside so their mother could pass and Alcina stops in front of you.

She bends down to get closer to you. You can see the blood dripping from her chin, the crimson color blending in perfectly with her lipstick. You can smell the fresh blood, see how it coats her teeth. You look into her eyes and you don't see the soft, loving look you're so used to. In it's place is a feral, wild, terrifying look.

"Alcina," you sob.

"What's the matter, draga? Are you afraid?" Her tone is condescending, like she's mocking you. All you can do is nod your head as tears fall down your cheeks.

Alcina snatches you by the neck and stands up to her full height, keeping you eye-level with her. You dig your nails into her wrist, desperately trying to get her to let you go.

"Alcina, please! You said you would never hurt me!"

Her laugh is low and dark, it shoots fear straight through you.

"And you actually believed me? Silly girl." She says before she unsheathes her claws.

"Please! Alcina! I love you! Please don't, please!"

"This is what you get when you love a monster."

She reels her arm back and slashes at you. The last thing you see are her swirling gold eyes before everything goes dark.

[true-blue-sonic]

How would you describe Silver's personality?

Let's see... There's a few aspects of Silver's personality that I think strongly characterise who he is as a person.

Silver is determined. He has a strong desire to protect the future, to the point where he's made multiple trips to the past to stop disasters from occurring there and ensure the safety of his own time in turn. Related to this, Silver has an optimistic attitude and generally doesn't lose hope easily, as conveyed in multiple bios such as his one from Generations. Notably, he shoots down Infinite's statements about how he'll show the rabble that "there is no hope" immediately, asking "Does anyone but you believe your lies?!". However, this is not infallible: in both Rivals 1 and 2 there's moments wherein Silver loses his hope ("No! I'm too late!" in Rivals 1 when Eggman Nega goes to space to take a picture of the whole planet; "It's too late. I knew there was way for me to change the future…" in Rivals 2 when the portal to the Ifrit's dimension opens despite his efforts). However, it also takes little for him to get this hope back again: the very instance there's the slightest indication things can turn around, he's back on it again. This is seen in both Rivals games and also '06, where Elise pointing out she feels Sonic's presence in the wind makes Silver give her a rousing speech with the idea she can use the Emeralds to bring Sonic back again.

Silver is sassy, rude, and blunt. In Colours DS, he's got a clear opinion on Eggman's Experience the Future ride that is conveyed in quite a sarcastic manner ("They think THAT is what the future is like? Please." and saying Sonic should give it a pass), and he similarly expresses rather abrasive statements about people who are not his allies. Notably, even Sonic remarked once that Silver is getting on his nerves (in Rivals 1). He mocks Sonic in '06 after their first battle ("Hmpf! Is this a joke? How could someone like you cause the destruction of our world?"), and immediately rudely regards Knuckles after getting the information he wants out of him in Rivals 1 ("Got no time to explain it to someone like you… See ya!" followed by "Like I said before, I don't have time to deal with you right now. See ya!"). In Forces, he bluntly tells Knuckles "Who cares what it's called?" about Operation Big Wave, stressing the fact that a good strategy is more important than a good name. Overall, Silver also has a temper: especially in the Rivals games, he quickly goes to throwing hands when someone expresses scepticism about his mission or makes fun of him as a person. It certainly doesn't seem like he is okay with letting people walk over him!

In an interesting contrast to the above point, Silver is also kind and cherishes his friends dearly. In '06, he puts his entire mission to defeat the Iblis Trigger on hold when deciding to help Amy find her person she was looking for first. I am not actually sure why he does so: I think the fact the past is so beautiful and the people are happy there helped inspire him to spread that kindness to the girl who's been kind to him in turn so far? But Silver clearly cares for his friends and allies: in '06, he is distraught by the fact he'll lose Blaze to save the world, he is similarly seen with a hurt expression when Sonic's alleged death is brought up in Forces, and in Rivals 2, he is genuinely grateful to Espio for the help Espio gave him in stopping the Ifrit from destroying the world.

Silver is honest, to the point of being blunt also... and this thus means that he is not always taken seriously. In a Sonic Channel story, he tells a group of Soleannan officials that he is from the future and gives that as reason why he knows calamity will befall a specific place in Soleanna; this is precisely why he is not believed. In Rivals 2, he is very clear about needing the Chao to save the world: Knuckles and Rouge promptly determine that this is something highly unlikely and that his psychic powers must have made Silver "a bit goofy", despite the fact Silver is entirely correct.

Silver is not always correct in his thinking, but it is difficult to change his mind. It also seems that once he gets encouragement that he is perchance doing the right thing, he goes right back to his earlier ideas: seen in '06 with Blaze's statements about what must be done to change the future, where it took an intervention by Shadow and a trip to the past to change Silver's mind about Sonic in full. However, Silver does show the ability to be introspective. After his fallout with Amy in '06, he is sitting quietly by himself, entirely unengaged with his mission to destroy the Iblis Trigger and instead wondering if hurting one person to help many others is "right". In Rivals 2 he is the one who figures that just endlessly fighting is actually against his goal of collecting Chao, and thus he turns that very goal around into a battle with Sonic wherein the victory conditions are to collect the most Chao. And in Colours DS, he is the one taking note of the fact it feels like he and Blaze have fought together before, after Sonic points out they were in perfect sync.

Silver seems to like fighting and has a bit of a Blood Knight mentality. In Generations, he expresses happiness at brawling with Sonic again in a rematch (stating that it should be fun), and in Colours DS he is intrigued to find out what the robots in Sonic's era can do (but unfortunately has to face Orbot and Cubot, making him lament that there was no challenge). Similarly, in the Triumph cutscene of mission 2-3 in Colours DS, he almost begins one-upping Blaze about how he could easily have handled the likes of Orbot and Cubot by himself, to Blaze's displeasure. He thus also seems confident in his own abilities, helped by the fact his powers are tremendously strong and can do amazing feats.

Silver is sharp and takes note of small, almost insignificant details to come to correct conclusions. In Rivals 1, he notices "Eggman" is actually Eggman Nega due to his speech and mannerisms, as well as a small slip of Nega about how there'd be nobody to stand in his way in the past and future. He is also only shown as gullible in '06: in Generations, he originally fights Sonic because he's not sure if the real deal is asking him for the Chaos Emerald (thus not blindly trusting that someone who looks like Sonic actually is Sonic), and in Team Sonic Racing he is right on top of Eggman's plans with the Ultimate Energy Engine. In Rivals 2, he immediately determines at the first appearance of "Eggman" that it is actually Eggman Nega trying to pull the same trick as before, where he is shown to be correct as well.

This got very long, and I am certain I am missing some (or perhaps even many) things. I've written multiple posts about parts of Silver's personality before, but leave it to Tumblr to not return those to me, haha. But I think these are some of the most important aspects of Silver's personality! Lastly, there's also some things that are not explicitly stated but that I think do fit his personality well:

Silver appreciates the small things, things that other people might not notice so easily. His favourite thing is noted to be the blue sky in the Mario & Sonic games which is also shown with him stating that "the sky [of the past] is gorgeous" in '06, he marvels at the desert area of that game (that Amy notably shows more disregard for, asking him "What? You mean this desert?"), and he is multiple times noted to have awareness of the happiness of a whole world: the above quote is followed with "and everyone's happy", and in Colours DS he says "The sky is blue, and everyone's got a smile". A blue sky and the fact the people of the world all have a smile are not extremely noteworthy things, but they're clearly important enough for Silver to mention them both in two games.

Silver doesn't care much about what others think of him. The only time I can recall wherein he reacted crabby to someone poking fun at him is in Rivals 2, where Knuckles calls him crazy for thinking the Chao will be necessary to stop the world from being destroyed (here Silver's response is "I'll show you how crazy I am"). What he is doing furthermore also directly relates to him wanting to save the world, which could explain his annoyance at Knuckles not believing him. The only time wherein Silver has gotten anything akin to flustered in the games is, at the top of my head, '06 wherein Amy gets the jump on him and doesn't let him get a word inbetween her spiel before she drags him off to go find Sonic.

[vickyvicarious]

I'm so excited for this update...

Mina barely processing the entire trip because she's so excited to see Jonathan has my heart in a vice. She loves him so much. And she's ready to nurse him too, she knows he won't be well and she's actively preparing for it.

The way she says "my dear one" <3 <3

I love how softly she describes what a wreck Jonathan is. You can hear the concern of course, but she isn't sad about it. She couldn't possibly be sad to have him back, no matter how changed. She loves him and is still so relieved and happy to be with him, above all.

Mina's fearful and intrigued way of talking about Jonathan's ravings is great too. She's obviously a bit frustrated with Sister Agatha not telling her, but reminds herself with a slight sigh that "she is a sweet good soul", that she's showing concern for her patient. While Mina wants to know, her main goal is to help Jonathan and if that requires not knowing then she will tamp down that urge to understand why. She already was refraining from asking him directly anyway.

I love how gentle Sister Agatha's voice is.

Mina laughing at the very idea of being jealous over her Jonathan! She has such absolute faith in his love for her that such a consideration never would have occurred to her. But that said, it's still very satisfying to hear that Jonathan is devoted to her alone. Gahhh, she loves him so much.

The little gasp and excited, "he is waking!"

FUCK the love and the shakiness and the joy of hearing his voice again when he says "Wilhelmina"

The music when Jonathan speaks of his "great shock" is incredible

The way he says "I do not want to know it", almost an edge of emphasis on not, almost but not quite like he's wrestling his voice under control

Only for him to sound on the verge of tears when he says "I want to take up my life here" - he wants to leave it all behind so desperately. This is everything he has been longing for, everything that kept him going, and he wants to be able to enjoy it so badly. He can never leave what happened to him behind, not fully; the trauma will stay with him, he's been changed. But he wants so much to focus on what he has now, on the happiness he can build going forward, to begin again "with our marriage." And the softness with which he says that...

Jonathan giving Mina his journal is one of the most romantic scenes in the entire novel, in my opinion, and I can barely handle hearing it aloud.

Mina's reaction to all this being "I gotta marry that man EVEN FASTER" and going to rush Sister Agatha about it... <3 <3 <3

The joy with which she says "he sat up in bed, propped with pillows" - again she doesn't care at all about him being traumatized and weak and disabled, she describes him with such joy here because he is marrying her

SAYING "I WILL" IN UNISON PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY HEART

Mina having difficulty speaking due to sheer emotion. God.

"the grave and sweet responsibilities I have taken upon me" she is ready to nurse him and support him

The little gasp and hurried way she rushes to tell about the wedding-present! So good to hear that kind of delighted excitement from Mina again!

THE JOY AND REPETITION OF "my husband" GODDDD

Mina's wedding present is also one of the most romantic scenes ever I love her so much

Repeating again that she is his wife

Jonathan willing to go through it all again for Mina! Peak romance. Also Mina giving him everything in return, and happily brushing over him possibly having confusion about time...

I love the music in the background for all of this.

And Mina's declaration to Lucy is so wonderful, and so heartfelt and loving especially in the context of Lucy's stress of late

The way her voice lifts again at "my husband!" she is so delighted every damn time

I LOVE THEM. I LOVE THEIR LOVE.

but, on the other hand...

Lucy sounds so down.

They way she almost whispers "I feel so unhappy", breathless on the last word almost, like she can barely say it aloud even just to herself! LUCY SWEETHEART

Just, the way she says it all. Her gentle voice, her uncertainty and distress and the deep fear evident in her words even as she doesn't know why

no energy to try and be cheerful....... you know it's bad when Lucy cannot put on a smile. And I feel like she's feeling guilty for making Arthur worried about her.

"I shall make an excuse and try." Lucy not feeling able to be honest about even just needing comfort from her mother. I feel so AWFUL for her someone give her a big hug STAT