#I'm very good about keeping the humidity levels what they need to be at for him and his temperatures are fine

[meowmeowuchiha]

If my lizard has some mysterious substance building up in his butthole again that requires a vet to remove I'm going to lose my shit

[torahoes]

(IDOLiSH7) Nagi Rokuya - RabbiTube mini Rabbit Chat

Please note that I am not a professional translator. If you come across any mistakes, feel free to let me know and I will make the necessary corrections.

Nagi Rokuya: This is Rokuya. Currently taking a break in the green room. Report your status. Over.

Torao Mido: This is Mido. Currently in a car, on the move. Haruka looks sleepy and is nodding off. Over.

Nagi Rokuya: Iori, how's your situation? Ignoring me even though we made eye contact is not acceptable. Over.

Iori Izumi: This is Izumi. We're in the same green room so there's no need for a status report. Out.

Torao Mido: He just cut the transmission

Nagi Rokuya: Iori is a cool boy, so he might just be feeling a bit shy. X-D

Torao Mido: Hm. So he's still wet behind the ears, huh?

Iori Izumi: I'm neither wet behind the ears nor shy (angry)(angry)

Iori Izumi: Rather, Mido-san, seeing how you've managed to keep up with Rokuya-san's energy, you must've trained quite well over the past few days.

Torao Mido: Well, there's nothing I can't do. And I've watched enough movies to understand how this stuff works

Iori Izumi: Ugh, so I'm outnumbered....

Nagi Rokuya: Iori, come over to our side! ｷﾀ――(ﾟ∀ﾟ)――!! [1]

Iori Izumi: What's with that emoticon? Please don't assume I've joined your side.

Nagi Rokuya:

Iori Izumi:

Nagi Rokuya: Mido-shi, send a sticker too.

Torao Mido: Uh

Torao Mido:

Nagi Rokuya: Nice choice! It fits right in.

Torao Mido: I'm glad I got it right…

Iori Izumi: And this is how people get trained…

Iori Izumi: More importantly, Rokuya-san, aren't you forgetting the main topic? You contacted Mido-san to schedule the airsoft game, right?

Nagi Rokuya: OH! That's right! ;-P

Nagi Rokuya: About the airsoft game we discussed the other day, how does next month sound? If we do it early next month, I can adjust my schedule.

Torao Mido: Roger. I'll check my schedule as well

Torao Mido: Do you have a place in mind?

Nagi Rokuya: I'll start looking for one now 📝 It might be difficult, but if we're going to do it, I'd like a serious match, so a field of about 10,000 tsubo [2] would be ideal!

Torao Mido: 10,000 tsubo, huh. If that's all you need, there's a place on our property we could use.

Iori Izumi: Wai- wait a minute. Are we still talking about airsoft?

Torao Mido: In Japan, there should be more than ten such locations from Hokkaido to Okinawa.

Iori Izumi: More than ten!?

Torao Mido: Yeah. It's land we bought but haven't started construction on yet. Apparently, they've been putting it off.

Nagi Rokuya: Buying land in prime locations is like a game of musical chairs, so it's common for corporations to purchase it in advance. But if we consider taxes, it's quite scary.

Iori Izumi: You two are probably the only people who would discuss land on Rabbit Chat. This is very different from Yotsuba-san or Nanase-san's carefree chats.

Torao Mido: Oh yeah, we also own mountain land. Would that be better for airsoft?

Nagi Rokuya: OH! If it's in the mountains, playing with a large group would be better. Shall I summon Northmarea's elite force? 😉

Iori Izumi: Please don't say scary things like summoning Northmarea's elite force!

Nagi Rokuya: Fufu, it's just a joke 😉 Even I'm not crazy enough to do something like that 😎👍

Nagi Rokuya: Although I aimed high, realistically, a decently sized indoor field would be best!

Torao Mido: So indoor was fine all along?

Nagi Rokuya: Good question, Mido-shi.

Nagi Rokuya: What month is next month?

Torao Mido: Is this a riddle…?

Iori Izumi: It's July.

Nagi Rokuya: Yes. Basically, that's what it means.

Torao Mido: What does it mean!?

Iori Izumi: I'm sorry for the confusion, Mido-san. Rokuya-san is from Northern Europe, so he isn't accustomed to Japanese summers.

Torao Mido: I see. Japan does have high humidity.

Torao Mido: I thought so during the shoot too, but you're quite level-headed for a high schooler.

Nagi Rokuya: YES! He's my pride and my cute younger brother ;-)

Iori Izumi: Who are you calling your cute younger brother?

Iori Izumi: There is another level-headed high schooler in ŹOOĻ as well, isn't there?

Torao Mido: Yeah, Haruka is also ŹOOĻ's pride.

Nagi Rokuya:

Nagi Rokuya: Now that we're getting coordinated, let's assign roles for the airsoft game.

Torao Mido: Sure. This is getting fun.

Nagi Rokuya: I plan to assign Iori as the scout and Mido-shi as the attacker!

Iori Izumi: I see. So I will handle reconnaissance and Mido-san will be on the front lines.

Nagi Rokuya: Iori can calmly locate the enemy and relay the situation to allies, no matter the circumstances. He was calm even during today's chat.

Nagi Rokuya: Mido-shi has the physical strength to lead the charge and clear the way for his allies. The way he fearlessly challenged himself when using stickers shows he's perfect for the front lines.

Torao Mido: Were you analyzing us all along? No way... could it be that all our previous messages were setting the stage for this?

Iori Izumi: That's… wait, but knowing Rokuya-san, he actually might have been…

Nagi Rokuya: Fufufu. And I will be the commander, leading everyone to victory! X-D

Nagi Rokuya: It's time to put the tactics I've mastered — such as time management, optimal route planning from store to store, and winning various merchandise wars — to the test… (dark smile)

Torao Mido: What's with that last part?

Nagi Rokuya: OH, it's "darkness smiling." 😏

Nagi Rokuya: It's a slang term said to be reserved for use only by the chosen ones. But since you have the potential, Mido-shi, I shall impart it to you specially.

Torao Mido: Does that mean I'm one of the chosen ones? (dark smile)

Nagi Rokuya:

Nagi Rokuya: Wonderful!!! Mido-shi!!!! You have exceeded my expectations!!!!

Torao Mido: Thanks. (dark smile)

Iori Izumi: Mido-san...

Iori Izumi: Please don't teach Mido-san weird things!!!

Nagi Rokuya: Iori is also so moved that he's trembling with emotion right now!

Torao Mido: Really? Then you should use it too, Izumi.

Iori Izumi: !?

Torao Mido: You showed some great expressions during the shoot. You must be one of the chosen ones too.

Torao Mido: If you use what has been imparted to us, I feel like it would strengthen our bond.

Iori Izumi: Can a phrase like that really strengthen our bond…?

Nagi Rokuya: Mido-shi is right!!! Our bond is deepening!!!

Torao Mido: Right?

Iori Izumi: I'm not convinced at all though!?

Nagi Rokuya: But Iori, see how happy Mido-shi is. It's definitely important for our communication!!!

Iori Izumi: Ugh…

Iori Izumi: Dark

Iori Izumi: Smile

Iori Izumi: ↑ This is merely to ensure smooth communication moving forward, alright??!!!

Nagi Rokuya: ｷﾀ――(ﾟ∀ﾟ)――!!

Nagi Rokuya: ｷﾀ――(ﾟ∀ﾟ)――!!

Torao Mido: It's finally starting to feel like we're a team.

Iori Izumi: Just do whatever you want.

Nagi Rokuya: YES!! We are a wonderful team!!! I'm so excited I might not be able to sleep tonight!!!!

Torao Mido: Thanks. You guys made what was supposed to be a boring car ride enjoyable.

Iori Izumi: I might not to be able to sleep either but for different reasons.

Nagi Rokuya: Hoo!!!! I'll send you the details later. Be on standby until then. Out!!

The End.

--------------

[1] The "ｷﾀ" at the beginning of the emoticon literally means "it's here," as in "here it comes." This emoticon is used to express anticipation or excitement for something that's about to happen. Iori's reaction, "Don't assume I've joined your side," is because Nagi's use of "ｷﾀ" makes it sound like Iori has already come over to their side.

[2] Tsubo: A traditional Japanese unit of area measurement, commonly used in real estate and construction. One tsubo is equivalent to approximately 3.3 square meters or about 35.6 square feet.

[battle-acs-official]

I'm about to go on a rant about Sasquatch.

I'm not sorry.

So.

Sasquatch. Bigfoot. Big hairy thing in the woods. What is it, and why is it so fucking hard to find?

Honestly, the simplest and most effective answer to basically any question asked about it is: "It's an Ape. Duh."

Okay, what is it? It's an Ape. A Great Ape. What specific branch is unknown, but it DEFINITELY ISN'T A GIGANTOPITHECUS DESCENDANT!!! Giganto was an Orangutan relative and Sasquatch is clearly more related to Apes like Gorilla and Chimpanzee. Stop that. Just because it was big doesn't mean that that's the only animal Sasquatch could be related to.

On the point of bigness, first, Giganto is good precedent for Apes being able to get that big, so the argument that Sasquatch couldn't as big as it's reported to be is already dead.

Why would it get so big, though? Well, why did everything else that came across the Bering land bridge get so damn big? Bountiful resources, need to adapt, freedom for experimental forms to arise due to lack of competition. Everything in the Ice Age Species Exchange did 2 things: Got really fucking big and got really fucking weird, so an ape coming over would experience the same lack of competition and adaptive pressures.

So why would we have such a hard time finding them if they've been here the whole time? Well, for starters, we do find them. Often. You just stick your fingers in your ears, close your eyes, and chant "Hoaxes and Bears! Hoaxes and Bears!". So... That's a you problem. Also, let's put ourselves in the mindset of a Sasquatch for a minute here:

You're a Sasquatch.

You're probably somewhere between Gorilla and Chimpanzee levels of intelligence.

You're hanging out, doing your thing, walking through the woods, and you enter a clearing.

The clearing is full of dead shit, fires and screaming, hairless murderous cryptids that can kill basically anything it wants.

You recognize that this thing is a threat.

You also recognize that they usually stay in or near the plains.

You also recognize that they usually don't come out at night.

You also recognize that if they can see it, they can kill it.

You make the easy connection that the best method for not being killed by these things is to go where they don't (Deep forests and inaccessible mountains) and do your thing when they're inactive (Night).

Now, practice this habit for an absolute bare minimum of the last 10,000 years (the last time the Bering land bridge was accessible, but they likely would have came over on one of the earlier openings, which was up to several million years ago) and you have an animal that is very well adapted to seeing Humans as an existential threat and keeping well the fuck away from them.

Alright, well, if they're real, why haven't we found fossils? ... My guy, do you have any idea how ludicrously difficult it is to find ANY Primate fossils? We have functionally 0 Chimpanzee fossils. We have a handful of teeth for Gorillas. Orangutans, also mostly just a couple dozen teeth. Gigantopithecus, the guy that everyone points to (erroneously) as an ancestor of Sasquatch, is only known from a partial jaw bone. Most of it's anatomy is just speculation.

For all practical purposes, there may as well not be any Primate fossils.

So now tell me why you would expect to find any Sasquatch fossils?

Well, why are primate fossils so hard to find? Forests. For a fossil to be preserved, the animal needs to either be buried swiftly after death in mostly light sediment, like sand and silt, or have their bones picked clean and, still, buried in some form of sediment quickly (like burial in a grave).

Forests rarely ever have such conditions. Most bodies are left in open air, humid, bioactive, scavenger filled conditions with very few chances to be buried (unless they end up falling in a river).

Oh, and North American forests are possibly the worst possible forests for fossil preservation, if for no other reason than fucking porcupines. Little bastards actively EAT BONES. So, yeah, finding fossils in NA forests is nigh impossible for an already nigh impossible animal to expect a fossil from.

Alright, but that doesn't explain why we can't find them. Well, for starters, we do, you guys just call all the witnesses liars, drunks or idiots. And expecting that kind of reaction tends to dampen one's enthusiasm to tell people what you've seen...

... So that's your fault, when you really think about it.

Also, who's gonna fund a multiple years expedition into the most remote reaches of the continent, with people the scientific (ha, ironic) community has made a habit of condemning as quacks and hoaxers, with military grade search and reconnaissance equipment, trying to build an entirely new field of study from scratch, to find an animal that is deliberately, consciously, trying to not be found.

Oh, so you just conveniently just can't find any evidence, but it totally exists? We have hair, which is call hoaxes. We have foot, hand and full body prints, which you call hoaxes. We have dermal ridges (the stuff that makes your fingerprint, but they exist on your hands and feet), which you call hoaxes. We have photos, which you call hoaxes. We have videos, which you call hoaxes. We have audio recordings, which you call hoaxes. We have basically everything short of a physical specimen.

Well then get a physical specimen!

A) Again, they are actively trying to stay away from humans. They likely don't visit the same places twice when they see humans around.

B) Sightings are rare, brief and probably deliberate on the Sasquatch's part as a way to scare you off. You're not going to be running around the forest on your normal hike with a tranquilizer gun to quick-draw at a moment's notice and that animal is definitely not going to let itself be seen for very long.

C) Hunters usually have a habit of NOT shooting the upright, human-shaped things in the woods. Even if it very obviously looks like a Sasquatch, most people would likely hold their fire in case it's an asshole in a suit.

D) Even if you manage to shoot one, do you have a chopper to haul it out? No? Well good luck dragging a 6-10 foot tall, 400-700 pound behemoth out of the woods with nothing but your bare hands.

And finally E) I'd like to at least hope that most people would be hesitant to kill something that looks so much like a human. If you saw a mother and young, could you really bring yourself to killing them?

Any debate is welcome, just be civil.

[joels6string]

you’re a genius and your plot and world-building skills are next level. i’m truly such a fan girl you have no idea 👉🏼👈🏼

i’m politely begging you for a joel miller ANYTHING with prompts 2, 35, 41, and 44. all the sweetness and whatever else you think it deserves! i trust you wholeheartedly with all of P’s characters 🤍 thank you so much for sharing your gift with all of us!!

Stop it...thank you so much. I appreciate you very much💜 Oh goodness, don't trust me with all of them lol. Ezra, you're a gem, but we don't vibe 😂 I was also politely begging for anything Joel Miller so I'll literally happily oblige. Actual loml. I also thoroughly appreciate the subtle shout-out to Buckley the dog. I made a shitty gif and everything for it. I'm fairly certain I'm the only one who likes slow-burning shit like this 😂 but hey, I hope someone else enjoys it too.

Illegible

Joel Miller x f!reader

"Wait a minute. Are you jealous?"//"Stop laughing at me."//"You need some sleep."//"I'm only here for the dog."

Word Count: 3.5k Content: Buckley the dog in all his goodest boy glory, flirting with Joel Miller is like romancing a very handsome brick wall, fluff, mutual crush, two hopeless morons, matchmaker Maria to the rescue, first kiss

Farming rotation had always been your favorite assignment. It was rigorous, exhausting, and the pre-dawn wakeups were less than desirable, but there was something soothing about it. People mostly kept to themselves here, just asking for a hand when needed, and damn if this job didn’t feel useful. Food you’d worked for months to grow fed this whole damn town, and if that wasn’t something to be proud of, nothing was.

Maria knew you preferred it here in the greenhouses, being friendly with her certainly had its perks, too. Your gate patrols had become minimal, the shotgun almost felt foreign in your hands now when you had to head up atop the walls and survey the wilderness for threats from infected and hunters alike. 

It was another early morning, an eerie gray seeping through your thin curtains and rain dripping down the windows ahead of your fieldwork, a heady sigh leaving your lips as you slipped the rubber boots that were two sizes too big onto your feet. But even on days like today, you didn’t mind the work. Sure, the soil would be heavier soaked and your clothes would be clinging to your skin within the hour, but it sure as hell beat fighting for your life outside these walls.

It had been a miracle you’d stumbled across a patrol team a few months back, scared and alone. The vetting was brutal and the townsfolk were wary of the newcomer for weeks after your arrival. But you’d earned their trust through your hard work and willingness to do what was needed. You were a damn fine cook, too, and that went a long way.

By the time noon hit, the rain hadn’t slowed at all. You were shivering despite the exertion, the warmth of the pub calling your name even if it would only be for the hour allotted for your lunch. The cover of the plastic enclosures had done little to keep you dry with how many times you’d gone in and out, the humidity the plants needed keeping you thoroughly damp and chilled. You were finishing your final task, your hands quivering too much for the precision you needed, 

“You look cold,” a Texas drawl chuckled from behind you, “Why are you out in the rain anyway? Can’t this wait?”

“You tell me, boss,” you replied with a grin, your gaze shooting back over your shoulder to see Tommy Miller, his faithful companion Buckley at his side.

“It can wait til it’s dry. Come on.”

The Millers–Tommy and Maria–were good friends, but Tommy’s brother Joel, while revered in the town, was someone you hadn’t had much contact with, not anything of merit anyway. That was an avoidance of your own creation, your thoughts dizzying into idiocy when you were in his presence for more than a few minutes. It was shameful. But it was thankfully easy to maintain. He mostly kept to himself in his big house by the cemetery, his job solely a patrolman thanks to his exceptional skills with just about every weapon under the sun and his proficiency at what some of the town referred to as “extermination.” Joel could kill anything and not bat an eye, and everyone knew it, too. 

“Dinner at our place tonight,” Tommy offered after walking you past the pub and to your front door, “Maria is cooking, but if you wanted to maybe come a little early and make those sweet potatoes, you won’t find a soul complainin’ and I got a basket full.”

“Well, you did get me out of the rain,” you answered, waving goodbye as your body ached for a warm shower and dry clothes.

By three o’clock you were knocking on Tommy’s door and none other than Joel greeted you as it swung open after a single knock, a mug of coffee being swallowed whole by his hand.

“Joel…” you gasped, his hazel eyes widening at the sight of you.

“Tommy said you were comin’,” he muttered, you couldn’t tell if it was just to himself, your stomach flipping just like it had every other time you’d been this close to him.

Joel was tall and broad, his thick gray hair almost brushing his brow and an equally lush and silvered beard covering his jaw and cheeks. Heat flushed your face beneath his gaze–typical–the reason for your stark evasion of the man coming to full fruition here and now. He’d caught your eye long before you knew who he was, not that you’d ever even considered acting on this ridiculous little crush. You were too old for this anyway, and Joel, well, he’d never once acted like he wanted to be bothered by anyone’s attention much less your own. There’d been many shared functions and yet you’d still never graduated past pleasantries, your quick escape plans always being enacted before you could reach the next stage of conversation.

“Are you gonna let her in or leave her to soak?!” you heard Tommy yelling from somewhere in the house, Joel’s obvious alarm from being shaken from whatever mental space he’d gone to playing out too charmingly on his face for you to deny giggling at.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, eyes on the floor as he stepped aside, the sack of spices and honey you’d brought to prep your dish jostling in your arms, “I’ll–let me,” he offered, the way his fingers brushed against the back of your hand had goosebumps erupting across your skin making you thankful for the cover of your sweater.

“Thanks,” you gasped, hoping it didn’t sound as pathetic to his ears as it did to your own.

Long strides had him well ahead of you on your way to the kitchen and you took full advantage to shake off the effects of Joel Miller’s studious gaze before joining the group, you didn’t need anyone getting any ideas.

“Welcome!” Tommy greeted almost too exuberantly, “Joel here said he’ll help you with whatever you need to get started.”

“What?” Joel interjected quietly to himself between Tommy’s words, his hands falling to his hips showcasing toned forearms straining against the rolled sleeves of his flannel.

“Anything at all.”

Clearly, something else was at play. With Tommy and Maria barely able to contain their fits of giggles, Joel’s brow knit in confusion, and you standing dumbfounded with Buckley sitting dutifully at your side it looked like something straight out of the sitcoms that had died decades ago. And somehow it felt like you were the butt of the joke.

“Why are you staring like that?” Maria pressed, “You said you wanted to get better at cooking, You’re reading those books. Time to put it into practice.”

“It’s fine,” you finally found the courage to speak, “I can do it.”

“What do you need help with?” Joel resigned with a sigh, turning to the sink to scrub his hands clean. That was a good start.

“No, you don’t have to–”

“Peel these,” Maria instructed, pushing the bowl of sweet potatoes she’d gotten out his way, “Let’s see if you’re as good with a knife on root vegetables as you are Clickers. Hmm?”

“Well, ain’t you funny this evening,” Joel grumbled, snatching the knife to his left and beginning work on his task. 

You almost felt bad for him, watching him struggle to catch only the skin and not the orange flesh beneath it, his tongue clicking in disappointment at himself with every swipe too deep and dropped peel. It was so endearing, Buckley’s little whines matching the way pity had set a breeze on the butterflies that had taken flight in your belly

“Stop laughing at me,” Joel finally snapped after Maria and Tommy’s little snickers had gone on for too long, the knife slamming onto the counter in frustration.

“Let me help you,” you offered, rushing over and plucking the tool from beneath his palm and showing him your technique, his eyes attentive as he watched and listened.

When dinner was served, you took the seat beside him, your appetite whisked away from hours of nervous fidgeting and stolen glances. What you did manage to force down was delicious, but you were more concerned about the reception of your dish from one guest at the table than you were about judging what was on your own plate.

“So,” Maria began after everyone’s forks had started to slow, “I saw you and Gabe hitting it off at work the other day.” What on Earth was she doing? “He’s nice. Good head on his shoulders, competent, great carpenter.”

“Oh,” you stammered, a nervous laugh flitting free, “No, I…I just work with him.”

“I need to get goin’,” Joel announced suddenly, his chair loudly scraping against the floor as he cleared his plate in the kitchen, Buckley getting a pat on the head before he bid everyone a gracious thank you and goodbye for the evening, your nerves settling immediately as soon as the door clicked closed.

After a night of tossing and turning at the replay of the embarrassment of your interactions from the evening, you were back in the greenhouses in much more suitable weather the following day, Maria and Buckley on site to help with the harvesting from half the crops. Gabe had been assigned your partner, something you assumed was no accident after Maria’s prying last night, her quest to get you saddled in with a “nice guy” in full swing.

“Long day, huh?” Gabe chirped from beside you, chest heaving after another heavy load of produce was dropped into the back of the truck, “You doing all right?”

“Yeah,” you answered, keeping your eyes straight ahead on your task, “busy.”

“Lunch!” Maria bellowed, “Let’s go, everyone! No exceptions!”

There went your hopes of skipping the congregated, shared hour in favor of hiding behind the greenhouses for a moment of reprieve. Gabe walked you to the grouping of tables, the citizens of Jackson having banded together to give the farming group a grateful lunch for their labors, a sentiment you should have appreciated but found yourself loathing at the moment. You were too tired, too agitated, and entirely too distracted.

“Joel…” Maria sang knowingly as if she’d been expecting him despite his presence never once having graced the workspace before, “What a surprise.”

“Tommy around? He ran off soon as we passed the gate,” he grunted fresh off patrol, his t-shirt screaming around his biceps ready to tear and his pack equipped with more weapons than you’d ever seen on one person strapped to his back; you couldn’t look away, “Who’s this?” 

“Him? Oh, that’s Gabe.”

Why was his face falling? Were you imagining things? His eyes flicked from you back to the man beside you, a hand reaching up to scratch at the back of his head as he repeated the inspection once again.

“That so?” he drawled, “Never heard of ya.”

Well, that was a lie, and the way Gabe’s face fell that the famed Joel Miller didn’t know he existed, despite the fact that he most certainly did, only seemed to add a little glimmer to Joel’s eye as he watched him scamper off dejected. It was a little cruel, but at the moment you couldn’t care less as you tried to decipher what the hell situation you were standing in the middle of.

“Wait a minute… Are you jealous?” Maria asked tauntingly, your face falling in horror at the blatant accusation made on what you knew was your behalf.

“I beg your pardon?” Joel barked, and you had to hand it to Maria for never being intimidated because if you were on the receiving end of the expression currently staring her in the face you’d have cowered into the nearest corner like a mouse being pursued by a cat.

“It’s a simple question.” “I’m only here for the dog.”

Buckley yapped right on cue as Joel bent over to scratch his ear, Maria’s eyes rolling at one of the most pitiful excuses she’d ever heard in her life, especially from a grown  man. 

“Jesus Christ, Joel,” she groaned.

"You need some sleep, Maria. You're gettin' delusional," he nagged as he stood, following after her as she stormed off towards the tables.

Maria’s question plagued you throughout the week. You hadn’t seen Joel again, but that didn’t stop your brain from spiraling with the hope that maybe she was right. Replaying the brief interactions you’d had with him led you nowhere, the man was entirely illegible, his face a stoic…handsome…mask and his random appearances too few to interpret but also too coincidental to be a coincidence. 

During another dinner alone on the old futon you’d scavenged, a soft knock on your door had you ready to duck under your table and hide until whoever it was left. It had to be Gabe, maybe Maria, but your frayed nerves had already had their fill of human interaction for the week, you wanted two days holed up in your little cabin with your books. Was that too much to ask?

“You home?” a gruff, deep voice called out, a timbre that did not belong to Gabe or Maria. 

Joel. That had you racing to the point you were tripping over your feet, catching him just as he’d begun to descend the three steps leading up to your front door.

“Joel!” you called out too loud, his demeanor unaffected by your outburst.

“Hi,” he greeted cautiously, “Maria told me your backdoor was broken, wanted me to come look at it.”

Your backdoor was not broken. Never had been. However, if you told him that he would leave, but he should leave because he didn’t need to be here…

“It ain’t broken, is it?” he resigned, the answer clearly written on your face.

“No,” you sighed, disappointment carving a hole out of your chest and hollowing it fast enough to have your lungs depleting.

“Well, if it’s all right with you I’ll check anyway. Can’t ever be too careful.”

The thorough inspection he gave your old wooden door surprised you knowing he’d discovered the ruse before stepping foot inside your house, and he did indeed find a few screws that needed tightening. You offered him a coffee that he gratefully accepted, the last of the grounds you’d traded for last month enough for two cups you sat around the small round table in your kitchen to enjoy as the crickets began to chirp outside the windows.

“Thank you,” you erupted, your voice too loud, too excited, his little chuckle confirming he could sense your school girl nervousness.

“Welcome,” that smooth, Texas twang settled in your stomach, pressing downward in the most forbidden of ways, “You know if you need a carpenter–”

“Oh no. I don’t.”

“Right. Okay.”

Wait, that was rude. He was about to offer help and you’d cut him off. His eyes hadn’t left the brown, murky depths swimming in the pink mug you’d given him, his shoulders slumped, chin to his chest.

“If I do though, I’ll let Maria know to tell you–”

“You can just…knock on my door. If I ain’t out on patrol, I’m home.”

“Oh. Sure.”

It felt like your entire body was vibrating, sweat was beading on your brow and it wasn’t a result of the hot coffee you were drinking. He seemed just as tense, you could see his knee bouncing beneath the table and you were desperate to know if it was nerves or simply his way of tolerating the less-than-ideal situation he’d found himself in. But that required a courage you didn’t think you’d ever be able to muster.

“I’ll get out of your hair,” he announced after a moment of silence that had dragged on too long, “Let me know if that door needs tweakin’ again.”

Every nerve in your body lit up with the desire to keep him there, your hand involuntarily shooting out and gripping around his wrist as you leapt to your feet less than a second after he rose, fingers barely meeting around the sheer girth of it. Your stomach dropped to the floor when his head whipped around and his stony stare locked on wear your skin met, his lips slightly agape and brow furrowed. You were panting, not caring how it looked or whatever he was assuming, he was probably right. It was time to admit that.

“Are you hungry?” you asked meekly, listing the ingredients you knew you had off in your head to try and come up with a dish you could prepare, forgetting that your half-eaten dinner still sat on the small table beside the sofa.

“I could eat,” he replied barely above a whisper, his eyes shooting over to that very spot. You should have anticipated that level of perception.

“I’ll make you something.”

“If it’s too much trouble–”

“No!”

Now this was getting embarrassing. Your voice was quivering, breath ragged, your brain reminding you it had been more years than you’d like to admit since you’d had a man in any capacity, and it wasn’t like that was beyond a quick release of tension. 

“Calm down, darlin’,” he comforted warily, the pet name hitting you square in the chest, “I ain’t gonna hurt ya…”

That was where his mind had gone? This situation was worse than one you could have ever doomed yourself to in your mind. He thought you were afraid of him? Well, in a way you were, but not the way he was assuming. Your tongue was paralyzed as your brain screamed to fix the situation, your fingers unknowingly tightening around his wrist.

“I know that,” you quaked, “I didn’t think…you would.”

“Okay. Good,” he sighed, tapping your white-knuckling hand with his free pointer finger, “That’s startin’ to hurt, ya know.”

“Fuck! I’m so sorry!”

Balling your fists at your chest, you retreated backward until you hit the kitchen counter, completely overwhelmed and embarrassed, wondering how in the hell you dug yourself out of this hole or if you’d be needing to find another settlement to move to. You couldn’t look him, Maria, or Tommy in the eye after this. You could just go on patrol and never come back, not like anyone would come looking for you when they found out what a fool you’d made of yourself. 

“Is Maria right?” he asked softly, his tone gentle and relaxed, “I can’t read this shit.”

“What?” you choked, his eyes taking on a warm glow you’d never seen on him before, it made him look younger and somehow even more endearing.

Nonchalantly, almost annoyed, he waved his hand between the two of you, your eyes widening in shock at his question before his arms crossed over his chest, his biceps stealing your attention so brazenly it had a wheezing laugh breaking free from a bright smile.

“That a yes?” he chuckled, eyeing you through his lashes mischievously.

“Um…” you stammered, did he really just think you were going to admit it so openly?

“S’okay if it is.”

The nod you gave him was barely discernible, but he understood, the corner of his mouth stretching up toward his eye as he took a step forward, then another, and then another until his arms were caging you in as they braced on the counter behind you, the smell of pine wood and leather hitting your senses like a tsunami.

“Joel…” 

“Hmm?”

“It’s been a really long time…”

“Yeah. Me too.”

His lips were softer than you expected them to be, plush and silky as they pressed to yours nervously, his beard prickling your skin a sensation you hadn’t felt in too damn long. When he pulled away you sought him out again, following his mouth as your fingers fisted into his shirt, your cue being followed as he came back harder, more intentionally, his nose pressing to your cheek when you pulled him in deeper, a muffled whine hitting him and eliciting one of his own.

“I um–” you began when you broke for air.

“Shh,” he soothed, feeling your fingers tightening in his shirt nervously again, “You don’t need to talk. I can stop, or I can keep goin’. Your call.”

“Don’t stop.”

“Yes ma’am.”

When his tongue slid along the seam of your mouth you relaxed, one of your hands releasing his shirt to slide up into his hair, his groan of approval hitting the back of your throat as you opened up to him completely. You barely needed time to learn one another, your mouths finding a fluid rhythm of give and take quickly. His hands felt so good settled easily on your hips, the lack of desperation in his grip a testament to his self-control, something you were clearly lacking as you pulled yourself in closer, tugging on his hair hard enough to sting. If it did he either didn’t mind or purely enjoyed it, not even a flinch settling across his features as he devoured you. 

He stopped you when your hands shot to his belt, arousal and desire having taken your wheel within seconds of this all beginning.

“Not tonight,” he breathed, “much as I want to. I do have standards.”

“Which are?” you inquired, enjoying the way his nose was nuzzling against your cheek.

“At least one damn date. I am a gentleman, after all.”

“Well, let’s just go to the pub now and get it out of the way.”

“Yeah… Yeah, I can do that.”

Part 2: Into Focus

I did not proofread this. I apologize and own any terrible typos.

Joel Miller Masterlist

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Hi!

I may have fallen a wee bit in love with the chonky short tailed bois.... So I need to ask, what experience level would you recommend for keepers for them? Can they be a good first snake, in theory?

(not gonna GET one though - I'm moving into student living soon, and it's gonna be cramped enough for me alone!)

Short-tailed pythons are amazing, but they are generally best for experienced keepers! I think if you got one for a first snake, you'd probably have a stressful time of it.

Here are the reasons I think they're best for intermediate-advanced level keepers:

They do best when they're kept very precisely. They like a narrow range of temps and humidity and they get stressed and grouchy when it's wrong. Like, you better keep your hot side temps at 80-82 or they will be so mad. It's just less stressful for everyone when you've got the experience to know how to keep that narrow range super steady!

Humidity can be tricky for new keepers to maintain, and short-tails like it in the 60-70% range. They get stressed when it's too high and are very prone to respiratory illness if it's too low.

Their body language can be very hard to read, even for experienced keepers. They can be surprisingly jumpy and they have no qualms about striking sideways (most snakes do). They are very still snakes, they're highly specialized ambush predators and it can be confusing if you don't know what you're looking for. Even I have moments with short-tails where I have to stop and think "okay, what are you trying to tell me?"

Their reputation for being bitey little monsters is exagerrated but it is not entirely undeserved. They can have short fuses and their body language is just difficult for a lot of new keepers to read; they can get bitey if you make mistakes.

I absolutely adore short-tailed pythons, but part of the reason they have a bad reputation is because it can be hard to keep them correctly and they get grouchy if you mess up. I honestly even think the advanced level is the best to get them at because you'll just have so much more fun with them at that level of experience.

If you're 100% committed, you could do it! I adore these snakes and they have so much personality, they're just a blast. But I would recommend doing a ton of research, getting the enclosure set up well beforehand, and if possible meeting at least a couple short-tails in person so you can get a bit of a feel for them and their husbandry.

[ruinedbylanadelrey]

King of Your Heart

Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Chapter 5 "More than friends but less than lovers"

summary: All that Frankie has ever wanted to be was your everything. After years of being best friends one phone call changes everything between the two of you.

inspired by The King by Sarah Kinsley

warnings: 18+, MINORS DNI, age gap (reader is 28-29, Frankie 38-39), friends with benefits -> situationship, Frankie isn't a dad, jealously, best friends with benefits, reader is lowkey toxic, drugs, smoking weed, alcohol consumption, reader wears makeup, reader has long hair, self-hate (both characters), yearning, secrets, no y/n, possessiveness, triple frontier boys, Tom is dead, reader is a flirt,

inside the world of king of your heart

playlist

series mainlist | main masterlist

taglist: @hiroikegawa

The humid air hit your cold skin from the AC when you slipped out to the patio of Frankie's backyard. It was just about to be sunrise, you were wearing Frankie's shirt and had a joint rolled the night before if you needed to get a little high on the blind date. The sky was fading to a blue and orange ombre. You kept replaying what you said to Frankie. 

'...we are more than just friends,'

Frankie never said it back. God this is so childish! You were angry that he didn't say 'we are more than just friends,' no confirmation, just let you blow him and smear across your face. Did you break the rules first? Or was it when Frankie drove to Ben's place? You raised the lighter to the joint in your mouth. Taking in the first hit in weeks.Savoring the taste of weed and the feeling of the smoke filling up your lungs to the very top. You expel the weed and feel the warmth of the upcoming high approach. 

Your heart was beating fast as the internal monologue in your head became the forefront of your mind. This isn't how it's supposed to be, Frankie can't be in love with you!

Why would he?

Especially since he knows how you treat men. He could never love you. You think of yourself as a bad person because you become in a relationship, cold and distant but such a tease. But you are in his house, not kicked out as soon as your escapades were over, and you're wearing his shirt walking around his home like you've always been living there. 

It's easy, comforting, not labels, just being with each other, caring for each other, not single but not taken. You loved everything about it, Frankie was your connection and you would be his too. 

"Kind like more than friends but less than lovers," You explained to Frankie, sitting on his lap when he joined you outside, just watching you smoke. "The less than lovers is kinda harsh." Frankie isn't going to beat around the bush anymore. "I don't mean it as we don't romantically care for each other but it's not at the level either." You spoke like you had all the answers, it seems that way due to the weed opening your mind just a bit bigger than Frankie's. 

"I love you, Frankie I do but being friends knocks my romantic love for you down a bit too much," Your words felt like small snake bites to Frankie. Here you were getting cold and distant, instead of how usually warm and open you are to him. 

Always putting out the fire just when it begins to spark. 

Frankie sighs, not knowing what to say but just to let you dangle the idea of being together in front of his heart. Maybe things are actually better left unsaid. Just to keep you in his life for a while longer. 

You pulled into the community center's parking lot, for the MMA fight. Ben and Frankie waiting on the bed of Frankie's truck. You quickly threw the car in park and got out to greet them.

"Told you I would be here, Benny," You quickly kissed his cheek and patted his back. "I need you here every fight, you're my good luck charm," Benny chuckles, You turn to Frankie who has his hands in his pockets, and you give him a weak smile. "Well I'm going head inside and grab our seats, Good luck pretty boy," You said as you readjusted your purse before heading inside.

Ben turns to look at Frankie watching you walk away, he whistles at you making you turn around a roll your eyes seeing that it was Benny whistling at you. Frankie throws him a glare over his shoulder.

"Hey, you weren't gonna do it," Ben smirks, he thinks he's the only one in the know about the two of you.

"What's going on with you guys anyway?" Ben takes the lead inside to locker room. Frankie sighs, takes off his cap, and runs his fingers through his curls.

"the fuck if I know," Frankie really didn't know where the line is anymore. You both keep picking it up and moving it so far away from 'just friends'.

One night you and him would go on a date and not even have sex. Then the next day Frankie is fucking you for hours until you both pass out. Another day you'll freak out and bring the line to purely platonic. You openly flirt with him in front of everyone but still make eyes at strangers at the bar.

"She goes back and forth with the idea of 'us'. She said 'more than friends but less than lovers.' I think whatever we are doing now is working, at least for me..." Frankie's drained voice carries through the empty hallway,

"She's a bit harsh to you, Fish," Benny said patting Frankie on the back, Frankie laughs dryly and quiets down when Ben pushes open the door to the locker room, he hears Pope and Will laughing. Ben doesn't miss a beat when he knocks his fist on the metal lockers grabbing the attention of the group. Everyone is shaking hands and giving aggressive hugs before heading out to ring. You were waiting with beers in your hands, and cheering as they announced Ben's name.

Your smile was big and beaming, and your voice carried throughout the loud crowd. Ben winks as you pass by.

"There she is!" Santiago pokes your waist, causing you to almost drop everyone's beer.

"Watch it!" You giggled at Pope who took the drinks from you and passed them out.

"Let me guess you paid for this with everyone's poker money," Will jokes kissing you on the top of your head.

"It makes great pocket money," You rest your head briefly on Will's chest to talk back. Frankie sits down, watching you look up at Will with such love and tenderness.

Does she look at me like that? Is that how she looks at everyone?

"She looks at you entirely differently," Pope takes a seat next to Frankie, it was like he was in Frankie's head.

"How do you know that?" Frankie wipes away the foam of the beer off his mustache. Pope laughs and shakes his head, taking a glance at you and Will now chatting about his fiancee and her wedding planning.

"Her eyes get wide and she bites her lips and then grows into a smile that just says it all." He said, Frankie scrunches his brows together, trying to recall every time he's seen you look at him.

To him it was so normal, that is just how you look at him. It was not the same look you gave Will, the look Frankie gets has love and lust in it.

"I'm done talking about this," Frankie snaps, looking down the row to watch you type on your phone, Your brightness was down and you had it angled for no one to see.

'You're being kind of a dick for ignoring me'

Your text buzzes Frankie's phone in his pocket. You were a little bit hurt by Frankie being distant since you were out with the guys. Frankie pulls out his phone and reads the message, he becomes annoyed by it.

He doesn't know how to act anymore, can he be touchy with you? Can he sit next to you? Can he breathe near you without anyone smirking? You watched him roll his eyes and shove the phone back into the pocket.

If looks could kill Frankie would be a dead man. You glared at him, the bell rang and the fight started. You rest your chin in your hands watching Ben throwing the first punch, Will and Pope stand up cheering him on. You glanced at Frankie who decided to stand up and join them. 

A rash of embarrassment flushes your neck traveling all over your face. Why is he being like this? Do you not exist out of sex? You could feel your heart tear, tendrils of muscles being pulled apart. Why do you fight yourself about being happy for once? Frankie is everything you want. He will outshine anyone even if someone cloned him. You want him for his faults and all. 

You're being selfish and reaching out for more when you set the limit. Frankie isn't going to cross the line until you do. 

Fuck it!

You walk down the row and stand next to him, Frankie turns to you and looks down at you. What is she doing? You wrap your arms around his waist and rest your head on his chest watching Benny continuing to be the winner of the fight. You angle your head to see Frankie watching you, every move you make, his arms wrapped around your shoulders and his hand petting your hair. 

Line crossed. No one is pulling away. You both live to see the look on each other's faces. 

[cyanocoraxx]

Hello! You have cool snakes and know a lot about them too, could I have some of your advice? I've recently been really into snakes, and seen tiktoks of how happy their owners are with them, it makes me really jealous and wishful for a snake companion of my own.

Except I know NOTHING about them, their care, needs or expenses. My experience with pets is a typical low to average maintenance dog, that's it. Never handled reptiles in my life. BUT SNAKES ARE SO ENTICING, and supremely cute too

I was wondering if you have any advice for a complete beginner on what kind of snake to get that's easy and as I said, for beginners (if it even works that way, I don't know a lot about snakes). If you have any resources and such.

Or even like, a checklist to see if I'm even eligible to own a snake (it could be hard idk). Want to know if it is even within my capabilities, the lifestyle needed and stuff like that.

Could you also give tips on their body language? I remember you mentioning in one of your posts that body language is important, and I wouldn't want to mess up. I want the potential cutie to like me after all.

Thank you anyway for your time! Appreciate it <3

so sorry for the late response i wanted to sit down and give a proper thought out guide and just haven't had time <3

checklist for eligibility:

you will need: a terrarium/vivarium, a heating device (heat mat, ceramic emitter or heat bulb), a thermostat (to control the heating device), a water bowl, a hide, substrate, and enrichment (sticks, leaves, decoration etc). make sure you have all of this on hand before you bring your pet home

you'll need to be comfortable or at least willing to feed your snake frozen prey, which means being able to consistently provide mice or rats (most common). most reptile stores will stock frozen!

depending on the species you want you'll need space for a vivarium. if you want a snake that can grow to be 4ft for example you'll need a space to put a 4ft viv.

you'll need to have time to regularly spot-clean their enclosure, which means binning their waste and removing shed skin. a full clean out once a month if not bioactive.

best "starter" snakes (imo):

rosy boa (2-3ft long, 25 years+)

royal python (3-6ft long, 20-30 years+)

corn snake (4-6ft long, 15-20 years+)

rosy boa - these little noodles don't get enough credit! they stay very small, they're very docile, and easy to care for. due to them being so small they only need small prey items which won't take up a lot of space in your freezer. they're very good eaters. downside is they're less common than royals and corns so depending on where you are you may struggle to find one near you. they can also be more food-motivated than royals and when they have food on their mind they can be a little more bitey - but with their tiny size, i promise you can't even feel it (from experience)

royal/ball python - a very common snake that can be found in most reptile shops. they're well known for being extremely docile and easy to handle as well as being super duper cute. they live longer than corns and rosys. downside to royals is they can be "fussy eaters" which can make new owners nervous - they're known for going off their food for months. they will also need larger prey items as they grow, so if you're not keen on keeping larger mice/rats in your freezer this is a downside. they're also more sensitive to improper temperature and humidity than corns.

corn snake - very common so can be bought easily! they also tend to be some of the cheapest snakes, especially if you want to get a "normal/wild type" morph. due to them having a large range in the wild they can tolerate a wider range of temperatures and humidity levels. corns are much more active than royals and rosys, so if you want a snake you can watch do its thing then a corn is a good shout. with this being said, they can be more "squirmy" when being handled compared to royals and rosys as they kind of struggle to stay still.

however, you're not limited to a choice of just three species. as long as you research your snake thoroughly and make sure you have everything you need, you can keep whichever you prefer. my first snake was a brazilian rainbow boa which is a more "intermediate" species and "not suitable for beginners" but he's been great. with their more extreme humidity requirements, i just made sure to keep a hygrometer on hand (to measure humidity) and provided plenty of moss, a large water bowl, and regular mist spraying. never had an issue <3

basic body language:

it's important to note that when a snake is preparing to shed its skin it will be vulnerable. its eyes will cloud over and its skin will feel irritated. we call this being "in blue" because the snake takes on a milky blue colour. during this time your snake might become defensive and this is normal. you should leave a snake in blue alone.

signs of a calm snake: short tongue flicks, loose and relaxed body, moving slowly, fluidly moving towards stimuli, curiosity, regular breathing. a calm snake may sit in an "S" position but it will not be coiling up or fixating on you.

signs of stress in snakes include: long and slow tongue flicks, tail rattling, tail wagging, hissing, striking, open mouth breathing, regurgitation, body flattening, gliding (moving very quickly away), coiling with the head raised (preparing to strike)

this is a very obvious example of a defensive corn snake: their body is coiled into an "S" shape, the head is raised. it takes this position so that it can 1. have a clear view of you 2. to strike upwards/forwards at you if it feels threatened 3. to look bigger to frighten you off. this is a snake who doesn't want to be touched at ALL

let me know if you need anything else <3

[the-firebird69]

Huge day ahead huge.

It's a huge number of people here who are awkward but you know you told me what you're doing it and becomes worse so that came outside to warm up and it's like some sort of vivid nightmare for them if someone can do that it's not really very nice behavior either so we got a little angry I'm trying to see why she's saying that so she's trying to mess with the stuff or something that's what she says but really she wanted to have personal time by herself and she's just being an a****** so that's how they are they think they can do with it what they want stays what they want and really pissed off about it photo and that's what he gets like every encounter is this mentally ill response what are you here for that stupid f****** look so we're probably going to drag her out of there and beat her to death because of the stupid s***

--+huge numbers of times you tell them who gives a s*** is out there it's free country and she's saying to smoke and all this other stuff like no a space for everybody so and she starts trying to cause trouble and threaten his stuff and it's going to pay for it it's an excuse and and what an ugly b**** anyways it's time for the course and it's disturbing and they look like mental patients so they are and don't sound normal and it's a very childish way to behave and we're more angry about than he is he sees it all the time they should just sick people and they need out

--and he doesn't give a s*** about what she wants she can scream all the way all over the place and get himself killed is what he thinks comes out to warm up just for a minute and people want him to be sick or something and she goes oh and doesn't really get it but okay not everyone can be a winner

--there's other stuff happening and it's pretty big and we're going to go over it and we don't like what's happening that's at this place I don't like the attitude we don't like what you're doing it's really weird and I'm trying to like from him bring him to a hospital right now there is a wave coming in just a few minutes and it will be 2.3 rad in Port Charlotte and it's coming up from punta Gorda it was 2.5 it's going to be potent and it's kind of disgusting here it's very humid and it's hot and people are out to lunch and it is going to be a different day tomorrow that's for sure. And poster resistant to radiation failure resistant I don't get big or small they just don't die right away you die a little bit later unless you're eating a lot

--several things to note tonight is a big night we are having an interesting time watching this thing mushroom and grow and we are there making sure that it is going to keep doing so and that we're at the proper level of Manning to control the situation and there's a lot of problems there probably going to come up and some of them are and yet him being mistreated here is one of them not really happy about it but we do understand it so we're sending in people to handle this kind of fallout and they're coming in pretty strong and they do the job pretty good the same things he has kept so damn low that we're worried and I said yes would have been saying so the moving out to try and get them out of here this change in the program is going to have an effect here and it is because of preliminary results by all sorts of big groups that they have found it to be true and there's a problem the Mac proper are at far too many of them and it's usually one out of three depending on which group and Trump has way too many stashes and cashes way too many I'm Francis people to be massively weak and they are at the stashes and Cassius all over the world no matter what size and that's Tommy F too is that those things and it is devastating to them they are being devastated they're taking hits everywhere there are good sized and they're sending armies and they're trying to get stuff out failing and Trump said this afternoon nobody seems to care about me and it's looking at me as some going into Dave's place wondering why I'm going in there there's a good reason Dave has been come sick and he is here at this place but he can't seem to do the job and yeah he was running around and as well but really had them going there into the job and he shouldn't but that's what he did.

And we'll find out that they threw a lot of stuff away most of it's made out of wood and cloth and it was all contaminated and it's going to keep going and they just don't have what our son does it he has metal furniture and metal items and we take the e-bikes might be okay but he's going to see what they're with the deal is there's more of this stuff going on all over Florida and people are now realizing you have to let these walls drain out in the house dry out and Sherry and Stan realized that our son didn't know about it so cost him some money but still he got something done and it was not going to be easy and saved the day. And it's because the food would have rotted and ruined the refrigerator and not only that but the odor would have been horrendous and that's the problem the place would stink for years as it is it's too close to the house but hey what can you do someone might help move it but he didn't have time didn't allow him time and nothing's going to start smelling pretty good. It's going to be a pain in the ass and people know it we have other things going on but this is going to be a difficult day and we are going to tell people we don't want to hear from you and it's a disaster and go clean it up he doesn't have any money he doesn't have a vehicle at all and have some mercy on yourself everyone's beating the s*** out of you for it

Huge news though huge that these parties went down examined it or sending big armies and to the ones that they looked at and they're sending exploration groups to the ones that are within their areas all of them including us and we know it's down there and who it is and what they're doing and mostly it's going to be a war and Trump is going to get his ass kicked and already his feeling it but really the armies are forming now in the East and the West and he is going to be very sorry he opened his stupid mouth

Thor Freya

Sitting and screaming at me threats and epithe for about 7 years now up and down the road while I'm riding my stupid bike to get food the a****** is there every few minutes the scene down there at 41 to Walmart is an important joke about this fool and his people and he deserves this more than any other punishment in history to see all those people that killed because he's such an a****** and is a delusional loser and he doesn't deserve to have a family okay this guy is an imbecile he's a hateful evil piece of crap it doesn't teach them anything and is really mean and he doesn't tell them even how to be mean I mean you have never seen anything like this even Olympus says that his stuff is very ripe I know it would be but wow he's stuck to me now and he's a massive massive ASSHOLE I know what time it is and I know it's his time and I know that tons of forces are raised against him even the Mac proper are surprised at how much stuff they stole that's all they are just Petty thieves and didn't change and he's really mad he doesn't blame other people he blames his idiots and he really should if they rode with all that stuff into the general population control it it would probably have taken everything that Mac proper had instead they're sitting there like these dildos smiling and nodding and running behind me every day we're collecting all sorts of information because we want to go in there and take a ton of it and use game to take all of them and they're ridiculous they're just Petty pissy little b****** have no clue at all where I'm from where my people are who they are what we can do and people can see some of it and of course my proper thing see us and people like that but wow are they stupid and mean come right out to me and say whatever they feel like saying run around is this flipping stupid attitude waving their arms so I don't feel bad for the ones to kind of get it and some of them do like these little shrimpy ones of Emily and they said you trying to do something to him and it happens to you every time it's not worth doing anything and he's a sits there and people don't know and then she said now he's telling people when they do that something happens to you and said these big groups are doing s*** they said no and now they're saying yeah and she's got respect from her people and said we're getting completely covered cuz this guy won't shut his damn mouth and her son says it's very simple just hanging out with Dave and Dave fooled him and he won't admit it for some reason he has a huge ego and he likes to compare it to Garth cuz Garth has an eagle that won't stop that guy's ego is out of kilster for what he is and what he can do and Trump's attitude is way out it is way off it's really no way he would have known because people didn't detective he was very evil but his people are lame and slow and and others are not and he really he's going to get completely wasted by this and it will finally prove it and improve you should have gone off me not done all this stupid crap but not to him completely and he's no superhero or smart person he is a massive massive failure and delusional and he's trying to make me delusional when I was younger no all the time now he is and he's going to lose it all it's poetic Justice and I'd give anything for him just to die but now he's going to

Zues

Me too I hope Trump and his die. See it though great. What the foreigners are saying is we need all this to defend ourselves against these Mac proper it is a lot of it and we need to go after all of it and they're doing it and they're doing it now they've got a huge armies up and finally Jesus Christ when a pain

Hera

And it's really a small price to pay and my grandson says it and she does too a bit that he went absolutely nuts and ruined them all to sit there screaming threats and saying dumb things. Now there are vast armies seeking this stuff and Trump falls faster than you can blink

Shaq

Olympus

[elektroyu]

Things I've been eating for a few weeks because my body was forcing me to. Basically it's mostly veggies, fruits (fresh and dried), almonds, seeds and some healthy oils. Currently starting to incorporate a few additional things like pseudo grains, nuts and different protein sources. Also not going to throw away the not-so-healthy things I still have, but I'm going to have to be very careful with those and offset them with lots and lots of the healthier stuff.

So far I've noticed a few things:

positive:

I need less sleep/ can be up earlier

I feel a little bit more awake during the day

my muscles recover a little better from strain (=less pain)

my blood sugar levels are MUCH more consistent compared to a very carb-heavy diet

I don't need to necessarily eat like every 3 hours like before

even if I get hungry this is a type of hunger that can be ignored for a good while if necessary - not possible to ignore blood sugar crashes

after about 2 weeks I didn't get constipated as much (initially it got worse though) - a struggle I've had all my life

my body signals thirst more clearly and more often

less reflux/ pyrosis on strictly grain free + vegan diet (which I was doing the first 2 weeks to reset)

my appreciation for potatoes has skyrocketed XD

my skin looks cleaner

my heart feels much more healthy, which in turn let's my circulation feel much stronger

negative:

what additional energy this provides me is almost completely eaten up by needing to spend a lot of time cooking/ preparing food/ doing dishes... I feel like I spend most of my day just preparing and eating food and doing directly related things which kind of sucks. Also researching recipes can be very very time consuming initially

it's much more expensive 💔 so not sure if I can consistently keep this up in the long run

I miss the regular mood highs of my really yummy carb-heavy comfort food (but probably getting better as time goes on?)

I'm generally feeling kind of bleh about eating now, even if some things are yummy

I miss my 2 small coffee routines every day and at the same time I hate that I don't miss the coffee itself (tho I very much miss the smell of the freshly ground coffee...)

I think my digestion can't properly handle this type of diet (yet??) (gross warning, don't read of you don't want to know details about my digestion! but there's lots of undigested bits in my waste now - not sure if this is normal or not)

it needs so much more space and because of that it's kinda hard to get by with just one grocery trip per week - fresh things spoil fast especially in my rather warm and humid kitchen (looking at you especially, potatoes)

since I'm not having set breakfast routines with specific cereals that were tied to specific week days anymore I can't tell which day of the week it is anymore 😅 it's all the same now

So yeah, overall I'd say it's an improvement for me, especially once my not-so-healthy supplies are used up. There's not that much I can do if my body refuses to get by on cheap carbs anymore, though. But I guess this will all improve over time and I'll have to find out what's good for my digestion and what's not. I just hope I'll be able to afford it at least until my body can handle some shittier food again (this is not the first time this has happened to me, but the first time I'm completely on my own with it).

[chimneybreastremoval]

What's a composite door? 

A composite door is a kind of door that is crafted from a mixture of materials, maximum usually timber, upvc, and grp (glass-bolstered plastic). This aggregate of substances offers composite doors a number of benefits over different sorts of doors, which include: 

Durability: composite doors are very durable and might withstand numerous wear and tear. They're additionally proof against moisture and pests, making them an excellent preference for homes in wet or humid climates. 

Strength efficiency: composite doors are very strength-green, that could assist to prevent money on your electricity payments. They've a high insulating price, which allows to preserve warmness in for the duration of the winter and cool air in for the duration of the summer season. 

Low maintenance: composite doors require very little protection. They do not need to be painted or stained, and they may be proof against fading and peeling. 

Appearance: composite doors may be made to appear like conventional wooden doors, but they are a lot greater durable and climate-resistant. They are to be had in a extensive variety of colours and styles, so that you can discover one that suits the look of your property. 

Advantages of composite doors 

Similarly to the advantages indexed above, composite doors also offer some of other blessings, including: 

Security: composite doors are very at ease. They can be outfitted with exceptional locks and protection features, making them a very good choice for houses which are prone to break-ins. 

Fire resistance: composite doors are fire-resistant, which can assist to shield your property inside the occasion of a hearth. 

Soundproofing: composite doors can help to reduce noise levels, making them a very good preference for houses which are placed near busy streets or other noisy areas. 

In case you are seeking out a long lasting, power-green, and low-preservation door for your own home, then a composite door is a good option to recollect. They provide some of blessings over other forms of doors, and that they can be made to appear to be conventional wood doors. 

Here are a number of the elements to remember whilst selecting a composite door: 

The size of the door: ensure to measure the hole wherein the door may be established so you can select the right size. 

The style of the door: there are numerous special varieties of composite doors available, so you can discover one which matches the appearance of your own home. 

The security functions: if safety is a concern, you may pick out a door with first rate locks and safety capabilities. 

The insulation fee: the insulation price of the door will assist to keep heat in in the course of the wintry weather and funky air in throughout the summer season. 

The protection necessities: composite doors require very little preservation, however you must nevertheless easy them often to hold them looking their satisfactory. 

I'm hoping this text has helped you to research greater about composite doors. If you have any further questions, please feel free to touch me. At composite door repair in Leeds  

[sy-tech]

1.) I have a lot of comfort characters. I have had many more. However, the one I've easily had for the longest time is Nick Valentine from Fallout 4. Despite the fact I was well into my teens when I first knew of his existence.

2.) My favorite color is Cyan and, yeah-yeah I know I can just say "blue", but there's a specific color of cyan that I like in any shade. Why? Because it just feels like me and that the color is actually pleasing is great. Especially because I have a rocky relationship with loving myself and having something about myself (despite how abstract it is) be so aesthetically pleasing is so nice.

3.) I think my dream hair for me rn is to have it long enough to braid (And to actually wear braids) but short enough to read as masculine. As for color I really do like my natural hair color (Yes hello pumpkin orange ginger here.) However, I always wanted to have streaks of blue and black through it.

4.) Honestly? Spanish. Which I am learning. Took high school courses and try to keep all of it fresh with stuff like duo lingo.

5.) Do not base your personal worth or level of intelligence off your damn grades. You go in there and you do your best. If you don't make it through flawlessly that's fine. You're human. You just have to pass. You are more valuable than a slip of paper.

6.) Communication. Be open, honest, and up front. Everyone has different needs. Don't try and find a match try and find your compliment. Someone that makes you better by just existing.

7.) I do not consider myself to be very political but that's because I don't think human rights and environmental health should be political. I can angrily rant about those two things for hours often bringing my own experiences into it.

8.) This changes a lot. (ADHD) However, Dinosaurs and Jurassic World/Park franchise is something I have been hooked on since I saw it when I was a kid. Reptiles is the only close competitor.

9.) I can't really have pizza (Got a real bad reaction to tomatoes so red sauce is just a no. I get sick. I can still have BBQ & Ketchup for some reason???) You do you. I do love pineapple.

10.) I got a lot of these. Punk, cyberpunk, gothic meadival stuff, whatever Mandela Catalogue has going on, Old school creepypasta aesthetics, vulture culture, cabin in the woods 80s feeling stuff, retro futuristic (Think Alien)

11.) I don't really have parents? If my Mother was around I'd probably have shown her by now. My legal guardians live like 4 hrs away. They don't even know what I do day to day.

12.) Spaghetti

13.) Depends honestly, if I'm in a rut digital always gets me out of it. Traditional is more convenient tho.

14.) I love acrylic paint to paint murals and I love me some good ol' graphite.

15.) American Pie - Entirely my BFs fault.

16.) Hehehe! This is a question for me since I YouTube is always running in the bg of my room. I think Wendigoon is pretty entertaining if you like video essays and horror stuff. Wowman too. There's a person named Linfamy that I have recently gotten hooked on he does Japanese history and mythology stuff. If you're an animation person Dead Sound. I can go on but there's a good list.

17.) Like maybe an hour ago on sleep. I've been randomly falling asleep all day. I just took a sip of soda.

18.) Swamp & coastal forest and such. I like it warm, humid, and wet.

19.) Silent treatment, breaking promises, eating loudly

20.) Night owl

ask game!!

1 - comfort character

2 - fave color and why

3 - dream haircut/color

4 - any languages you want to learn?

5 - any advice for school?

6 - any relationship advice?

7 - any political/serious topics you can angrily rant about for hours?

8 - any fandom/niche/hyperfixation topics you can rant about for hours?

9 - opinion on hawaiian pizza

10 - favorite aesthetics??

11 - do your parents know about your account?

12 - least favorite food?

13 - do you prefer to draw traditionally or digitally?

14 - favorite art medium?

15 - current earworm song?

16 - any youtubers you recommend?

17 - when was the last time you slept? ate? drank? stretched?

18 - favorite biome/landscape?

19 - any pet peeves?

20 - early bird or night owl?

[3liza]

What is a good pet to get for an apartment that doesn't allow pets? I am thinking a reptile of some kind but I'm also not sure if this is just a bad idea in general and I've got myself too deep into the fantasy planning to realize I am making a mistake

it sounds counterintuitive but the easiest pets to care for are the standard guys in order of level of normalcy: cats and dogs, followed by probably rats and bunnies, and then there's a serious increase in difficulty/special needs leading into fish, birds and reptiles. this is partially from level of domesticatedness and partially from infrastructure. basically every vet in the world is equipped to handle a basic dog or cat emergency and routine care, but it's extremely hard to find vets who are experienced with birds and reptiles. bunnies and rats are very small and vulnerable and sometimes can be hard to treat because of this.

my opinion is "fuck landlords" and go ahead and get a doctor's note that prescribes you an Emotional Support Animal and get an indoor cat (or two if you're out of the house much). ESAs are not service animals and have zero rights and protections outside of your home but your landlord cannot charge you pet fees for them (i think? this might be jurisdiction-specific) or evict you as long as you aren't ruining the carpet and walls. a decent carpet cleaner is under $100 and i do not regret buying one.

I'm not a rat expert but i think they could be good stealth pets for apartments. there is a lot of nuance to acquiring ethically-bred rats which i don't know anything about but maybe someone can comment with some advice. they are slightly stinky but not in a persistent way and smells are primarily controlled by how clean the human keeps their environment. i know nothing about rabbit keeping but they also seem like pets who can be very happy in an apartment that's properly bunny proofed. both rats and bunnies need specialized housing, bedding material, enrichment objects, food and toys, as well as general chew- and burrow-proofing in the house that makes them more complicated than the average cat.

those are just my thoughts on the subject! i really don't know much about current rat and bunny keeping methods. i think i would recommend against reptiles unless you really really really are set on it for some reason, they are wonderful but have really specific challenges and risks that make them much more vulnerable to accidents and fuckups in pet husbandry than a mammal (stuff like very narrow ranges of tolerable heat and humidity, specific food, etc), and many (most?) of them are not big on interaction or touch and get stressed out from being handled. some people vibe with a pet with those specific needs though. i strongly believe bird keeping is only for a very few people and that it's species-specific, I'm not even sure it's ethical to keep the large parrots (unless they're rescues in a sanctuary or with a rehabber or something), those guys are more or less sapient, but something like a budgie or lovebird seems to do better in captivity.

[nagasakidivision]

Thirteen as Drinks But I Actually Make the Drinks

I love alcohol. I do (very) amateur home bartending. I really like the Picrews but also I can't do one without trying to actually make a cocktail mix in my head. I don't have pictures (that are presentable) but I can tell you what I'd do to make drinks themed after our boys from Nagasaki. I tried to make them all very summery since Nagasaki is a coastal city that is hot and humid most of the year.

Haruto

Alright, I just had this at a sushi bar I went to and it's exactly his style and I feel like it reflects his character well. Floral, slightly tart but balanced with sweetness, and VERY high alcohol content. Do not let the light taste fool you: this is pure Potion of Knock You The Fuck Out. Unfortunately, I did not take a picture of the drink menu so I don't know what brands they use but I would bet you this is one of those "you need to have the exact liquor listed or it doesn't work right" deals. Also I don't know the measurements (I tried to sneak a look over the bar but no dice, also they didn't use a bartending jigger and the bartender was eyeballing it which I'm bad at) so I'm approximating it based on taste. Here goes:

2 oz vodka (guesstimating any cocktail with vodka is a nightmare because it tastes like nothing when it's cold :| I might be a half-ounce off, if I were to guess I'd say shuffle the half-ounce into the plum wine if I am.) 1 oz plum wine 1 1/2 oz sake (????floral tasting??? sorry, can't help you there) 1/2 oz St. Germains

Mix as a martini. Must be served chilled, preferably to the point there's a bit of frost floating about in the mix. Freeze your ingredients, kids, most alcoholic drinks have a lower freezing point than water so you're usually safe to do it at least for a while. Just keep an eye on it. Add in a pickled plum to leach in more plum-y flavor, assuming you can find one...but if you're going so far as to find plum wine, you might as well. Serve with a tiny little flower as garnish if you're feeling whimsical and have them floating around for some reason, but make sure it's an edible one. Violets and roses are always safe bets.

Damien

This is something I've been experimenting with that's a (very) minor riff on the Dark and Stormy. The end result is a slightly spicy but generally cool and beach-y drink. Perfect for the man who drifted in on the shores of Nagasaki prefecture! A good balance between mellow and intense, a true drink of mystery that keeps you guessing.

2 1/2 oz Q's ginger beer (MUST BE Q'S. YES, THIS IS IMPORTANT. IT'S THE ONLY ONE WITH THE RIGHT LEVEL OF HEAT AND USING ORANGE EXTRACT. I guess you can use Reed's Extra Strong in a pinch but Reed's just doubles up on the ginger and doesn't use chili going by my personal taste test.) 1 1/2 oz rum (preferably dark rum, spiced can work but spiced rums can overtake the ginger beer) 2 wedges of orange

Squeeze one wedge into the shaker. Shake with ice to mix, add into a chilled glass full to the brim with ice. Garnish with the remaining orange wedge.

Shirou

We have to have something that properly reflects Southern charm, of course. There's nothing more Southern than a mint julep, but it's not quite got that darker, more robust flavor I think of when I think of him. So, let's make a few substitutes and additions. I'd say you can probably undercut with the honey syrup, the traditional mint julep uses either simple or muddles in sugar cubes. Honey is richer and often sweeter than regular simple and can be overwhelming. The good news is, because it's so rich you can use shitty bourbon! And by shitty bourbon I mean Kentucky Gentleman, I've never forgiven the person who first gave me that shit.

4 oz bourbon (yes, that much, do not plan on going anywhere) 1/2 oz honey syrup Sprigs of mint (at least five) Approximately one palmful of blackberries (go seedless unless you are feeling VERY adventurous and aren't worried about choking to death)

Drop the mint and blackberries into the bottom of a tall, chilled glass (you're supposed to use a tin one but w/e it barely makes a difference, you can use a solo cup for all I care) and muddle them with the flat of a spoon. Cool little showy and practical bartending trick I learned: hit any plants you're using for essential oil purposes (e.g. orange/lemon peel, mint, lavender...) before mixing with the flat of your palm to release even more essential oils and make that taste extra strong. Add ice to the top. Drop in the bourbon and honey syrup. Stir lots until the colors mix together. Add in one remaining sprig of mint to garnish. The end result is slightly more tart than your average mint julep, but still pleasant and refreshing!

[deepseavibez]

Fall Pronto_1 || JHS

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-> Picture Source - Pinterest

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Fall Pronto [Hoseok x Reader]

Part 1 || Part 2

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Genre - Smut; 21+; Best Friends Brother

Summary - Hoseok was quiet. He focused on work and stayed out of the way. He was calm and collected. He was patient. He didn't even dispute your food choices. What a man. It made sense that he stayed over while he visited the city for business;you had the space and it would only be a few days. There was nothing complicated about a short visit, of course not, after all, he was only your best friend's brother. Right?

🎶 - Waves - KANG DANIEL (feat. Simon Dominic & Jamie

Warning - 21+!Only; Smut; Vulgarity;

Word Count - 2.1k

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It was late, a bit after two in the morning according to your bedside clock as you squinted to look at it properly. Your throat dry and skin itchy from the humid weather, you threw the covers off and stepped onto the wooden floors.

As you walked down the hall, a glance at the room next to you, the door wide open and bed untouched confirmed your roommate hadn't returned for the night.

Shaking your head absently, you decided to call her when you got back in your room. She worked too hard, too late, and she was too in love with her job.

But then, Seri was one of the lucky ones that way. Her family was well off, her job was perfect for her and she was beautiful.

You would be salty about it, but Seri was wonderful. A kind heart, caring and she was one of your best friends.

You sighed, a smile crossing your face at the thought of one of the most important people in your life.

Barefoot, in purple cotton shorts and a shirt, you walked to the kitchen. Delirious and tired, you navigated yourself through the dimly lit house, purely by muscle memory.

Yawning, you reflexively covered your mouth with your hand as you passed through the lounge and into the kitchen, illuminated by the moonlight shining through the window above the sink.

Opening the fridge, you scrunched your nose as you found nothing to your liking, so you grabbed a cup from the overhead drawer, and filled it in the ice water dispenser.

Humming at the coolness of it against your hand, and placing it against your lips, you were just about to drink as you turned around, only to let out a ear piercing shriek.

Cup forgotten, you clutched at your heart as you identified the familiar face and struggled to compose yourself.

The cup of water and its contents on the floor in pieces, you stared up at the face of the man that plagued your mind and caused you sleepless nights.

Jung Hoseok was absolutely handsome. A diamond shaped face, brown eyes and a jawline created to stand out he haunted your every sane thought. And considering the circumstances his presence did nothing to calm your fast beating heart.

Now dressed in nothing but a pair of shorts, his clear smooth skin, lean tummy and muscles drew your attention. You gulped audibly, trying to be as discreet as possible about his affect on you.

Would it be too much to hope my reaction could be passed as being chicken shit for the dark.

You thought it would be okay to have Hobi over, after all his sister was your roommate and he was only crashing for a week or two. But the days proved to already be too much.

You were antsy and you weren't used to being so flustered. Being single and having no sex for almost a year now, didn't help. You didn't want to feel so drawn to him, but it happened gradually and yet, all at once. Like a fine wine aging to potency.

His presence, was a stark thing. Within the hour of meeting him, your body hummed in awareness of the man, butterflies fluttered through you when you made eye contact with him and if it was even possible, the heat always kicked up a notch when he was around.

Hoseok saved his smile. For his sister. For a good plate of food. For his best friend, Yoongi. Other than that he made head nods a common acknowledgement for you.

Initially you just had an uncomfortable vibe with Hoseok around, which was fair. He was a stranger in your home and in your personal space, of course you felt uncomfortable. But you knew yourself, it was not just about leaning away when he leaned forward, or not making any skin contact with him through effort, you noticed that once it did happen, you wanted it way too much.

You can remember all too well, as you walked out of your room less than a day ago, and straight into something solid and warm. His hands caught at your arms as he looked you over and steadied you. The slight touch sent tingles across you, wanting to lean into his scent, his cologne, the expanse of him already too large in front of your 5'2 frame. You jumped back as if burned and mumbled an apology as you scurried away.

He said nothing to you. Didn't push you or anyone else, you had probably never met someone so set in their standard way of life and yet meeting middle ground with others.

As far as you knew the work habits ran in the family, because he always had his laptop open, one hand on it while he spoke on his Bluetooth and texted with the other. Direct and blunt, his voice carried over commands as if disobedience was never invited to the party.

His rolled up shirt sleeves and the Audemars Piguet watch on his hand, as you walked in on the scene almost had you closing your eyes asking for help from the universe. Because those forearms, curled around you, near you, those hands on you, those fingers in you... the cold shower you had did nothing for you that evening.

Now as he stared at the broken pieces on the floor and your clearly shaken form, you cursed yourself for actually forgetting he was under the same roof as you.

Blinking rapidly, you hissed at him. 'You freaking scared me!'

This man, he didn't deserve your tone, or the disrespect, but he triggered ferity in you on a level so intense you stayed as far away from your apartment as possible while he was around. It was all you could do to protect yourself.

'I happen to live here too,' he looked at you with irritation.

At least that reaction helped; irritation deserved irritation.

Deciding you shouldn't make a snide remark about how long he would be staying, you turned your attention away from him to the floor. Moving your hair aside, you looked down at your bare feet, hunting a way out of the sea of glass that could much likely hurt like a bitch if you stepped on it.

A short look, confirmed that Hoseok wasn't fine either, his feet were bare too.

So engrossed, with your dilemma you didn't notice, Hoseok huff in impatience and reach for you.

You yelped as a pair of strong arms, grabbed you under your thighs, hands flailing as you caught at his shoulders. Even in your shocked state you reveled at the feel of his muscles under your palm, and it took a portion of self control you didn't think you had not to grip into them with your nails and run your hands across the smooth expanse of his skin.

Your legs instinctively wrapped themselves around his waist, the action putting your center's together, the ravaging demand to rock your hips into his was leashed in before you could carry it through.

'What the hell are you doing!' The panic in you could be heard through your cold voice.

'Are you fucking kidding me? You're barefoot! Do you want to get cut?' You brushed aside his concern. You had to. The odds already too stacked against you.

'You're also barefoot,' pointing it out by looking down.

He ignored you. You stared at him waiting for some sort of explanation. He averted your eyes and didn't give one, so you took it upon yourself to try and get out of his grip.

'Can you stop? I'm trying to help you!' he said gruffly as you wiggled.

You huffed, and pushed harder at him, but he had a strong grip. 'I can take care of myself.'

You needed space. You needed to be away from him.

Something wild in you reared it's head but you pushed it aside. Baring it's teeth, you knew all too well you wanted this man and you hated it.

He moved his hands from your waist, and tightened it on your ass, adding more pressure to your center. You only now noticed he was hard. Very hard.

You held back a moan at the realization, but couldn't stop the breath leaving your body as you made eye contact with him.

Stilling yourself, hunting for a thread of calm, you cleared your throat and swallowed through the harsh lump formed in it.

Looking away you frantically searched for the next logical step in the situation. You felt your demeanor tearing itself apart, ice cracking into pieces.

Close to tears at wanting something you shouldn't and the frustration of the situation adding onto it, you whispered softly, 'Please put me down... away from the glass.' You sounded breathless, and you hated it, but assertive all the same.

Surprisingly, he listened. He managed to evade the glass as he walked you over to the island across the kitchen and placed you on it. Letting go off him you looked down, if he'd stepped wrong his expression didn't indicate it. So you swallowed your concern.

'Thank you.' You dragged it through clenched teeth. You evaded eye contact as you said it. Your blood was raging. Your skin too sensitive, too soft.

His hands finally leaving you made you feel empty, but at least you were safer, more from yourself than him.

You waited.

He just needed to move away from you and get out from the space between your legs, then you could get your shoes and clean up this mess.

He didn't.

You looked up at him again, an annoyed, questioning expression on your face.

'I want to know what's your problem with me.' Slightly taken aback at the direct question, you managed to keep yourself composed. Hobi never smiled around you, you didn't even think you were allowed to think of him as Hobi either. He reserved that right for his friends. But that was fine, you never intended to be his friend. He needed to leave as soon as possible. Sunday couldn't come fast enough.

'Move,' you bit out, wanting to crawl out of your skin with the need to sink your teeth on the firm muscle of the man in front of you. 'I need to clean up.'

He leaned in closer, hands on either side of you, caging you in. 'You're pissy with me. You have been since I got here.' His breath fanned your face, you tried evening yours. 'And you don't get out of this position until I know why.' His tone was quiet, but molded in steel, that of a man who had clearly reached his limit.

And so had you.

'Fawning over you is not a requirement Hoseok,' you managed with a smile and a tone so sweet, it drew blood.

'Someone should bite you... hard.' he responded gruffly. 'Then maybe you'd loosen up a little bit.'

You clenched at the near snarl, his tone doing all sorts of things to your body. Especially making the pooling between your thighs more noticeable.

Your nails dug into your skin, as you felt his breathe on your lips. 'It's not like you've been very forthcoming since you've got here.' Nerves far too close to the surface, you needed out or you really wouldn't be able to keep that part of you under wraps.

'Oh hell no!' His eyes slammed into yours. It was the first time you'd heard him come remotely close to raising his voice. 'Don't you dare pin this on me.'

'You took one look at me and decided you couldn't stand me, and I want to know why.'

You breathed in, an attempt to calm your beating heart.

'Look,' you started, 'I'm an asshole generally.'

'That's bullshit and you know it! I've seen you with others. Especially my sister.' His anger was a palpable thing. A blade with a serrated edge would have been less dangerous.

Patience wearing thin, you snapped, 'Get out of my face Hoseok!' You pushed at his chest.

'Are you sure I should?' He leaned in further, restraint evident he continued, 'You probably swipe at me because you can't have me close enough!'

You inhaled sharply.

His eyes widened in shock, as he pulled back. His mouth fell open at your reaction, a resounding, 'Fuck,' leaving his lips.

Part 1 || Part 2

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[is-the-snake-video-cute]

hello! you very kindly answered an ask of mine recently, and now that i’ve gone through your ball python tag i have a few burning questions!!

1) i’m having a very hard time keeping humidity up for our BP. she’s been doing fine, but she shed recently and it didn’t go as smoothly as it has before. after reading a few of your tips, i think i’m going to try helping her with the last little bits of skin with some reptile shedding spray and a short soak. do you have any other tips here? i know i should keep the water shallow and not try to force off any skin with my fingers.

2) this wasn’t the worst shed ever, but i’d really like to get ahead of it next time and just go ahead and figure out how to get her humidity right. i’m already using coconut substrate, but misting with a sprayer doesn’t seem to be cutting it. i was planning on buying a fancy reptile humidifier, but i haven’t seen that discussed much here. i saw you say somewhere to add water to the substrate itself, but what exactly does that entail/how much should i use? and about how much substrate should actually be down in the tank?

3) for her enclosure itself we’re using exo terra’s 40 gallon tank, which comes with a screen top. we covered a lot of it with a towel (also serving as a privacy curtain) to keep in humidity but i wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not?

sorry to ask so many questions!! thank you so much for your time!!

(oh, last note! i know 40 gallons isn’t the right size for an adult BP, but she is currently about the same length as the long side. i haven’t had her long enough to know quite how fast they grow, should i be scrambling for a bigger enclosure now?)

Hello hello - these are all good questions, and I really love the care and love you're putting into giving your snake the best!

A soak sounds like a great idea. Make sure the water is lukewarm but not hot - it should feel the tiniest bit chilly on your fingers. Giving your snake a washcloth during their soak is a great idea because that gives them something to hold onto and they'll often be able to rub stuck shed off themselves with it.

I recommend no less than an inch of substrate. How much water you add to rehydrate depends on how big your enclosure is, but a good general rule for a 40 gal is about a cup of water poured into the corners will do nicely. Especially since you've got a screen-top enclosure (which are very difficult to keep humidity in), if you want to spring for a humidifier, it might be a good idea. I don't personally use them (because I'm old and I prefer to limit the number of devices that could malfunction in my snake enclosures), but it might work well for you in this situation. Another trick for raising humidity levels is to make sure you're keeping a deep water dish on the warm side so it'll evaporate into the air (though, again, with screen-top enclosures that'll only do so much).

A towel can help to retain humidity in screen-top enclosures, but there are a few other tricks that might work better. A sheet of plywood or PVC cut to cover most of the enclosure is what I've found to work best; failing that, covering the top with tinfoil you've taped down securely is another good option. Screen-top enclosures can be a bit of a nightmare with humidity-loving snakes like bps, but there are workarounds!

How fast a snake reaches thier adult size depends on how much they eat and individual variation, but in general you can expect most snakes to reach their adult size between 3 and 5 years old. Some will be faster and some slower. If your snake is comfortable in a 40 gallon now, that's fine! I prefer to get snakes in their adult enclosures at around 2 years old, but there's no need to scramble. Just keep in mind what she'll eventually need (I recommend no smaller than a 4x2x2 enclosure), plan for that eventuality, and prepare to have it when she outgrows her current setup.

All the best!!

[ineffablefool]

Hi!

Love your work and your page and just you on general.

I'm having some inner turmoily feelings lately.

I am fat, I know this isnt a bad thing and that I'm not a bad person for this.

I also know it Is not unattractive nor am i unattractive for it.

I argue with fatphobes, educate on fatphobia, spread body positivity as much as possible.

I need to lose *some* weight. I am starting to have pain in my feet, knees, I have trouble bending and kneeling for my job. I get extremely hot and humid in the summer heats and it gets miserable.

I want to/need to lose *some* weight.

But it makes me feel like by doing so I'll be eating any of the good words/things I've spread about body positivity and weight.

My spouse is wanting us to do a weight loss shake/regime again that we did it previously (and it worked until we stopped using it).

It would work great but it feeds into the diet industry stuff I hate.

I just feel so mixed up about all of it and I know you're safe.

Hope you're doing well darling.

First of all, here are some hearts. 💜💜💜💜

Second of all... thank you for trusting me to be safe. It makes sense to me that you feel mixed up about this, because you have competing messages/priorities coming from different sides. There isn't any perfect answer, I don't think, because this universe has a number of design flaws. But I can throw another perspective in and see whether that can provide a little clarity.  (While doing my best to keep being safe, because that’s more of a constant action than an achieved quality.)

I honestly take a lot of the fat-positive stuff I say on here from Ragen Chastain's blog -- I don't read it regularly anymore because at some point I stopped almost all my regular readings at once, but I checked just now and she's still blogging. It can be a hard read sometimes, because it'll tell you about instances of public fatphobia that you had previously been blissfully unaware of, but it's also crammed full o'resources. And there are topics which she comes back to repeatedly, because it's become relevant again or there's new information or just because it's been a while and there will be new people who haven't seen it yet; and one of those repeats is the question of whether any given health concern or bodily discomfort needs to be solved with weight loss.

When thin people have painful joints, they can seek physical therapy. The secret is that PT works for fat people, too. Thin people might have difficulty standing or walking for too long, and need to exercise to increase muscle or physical endurance -- and that works for fat people, too. Thin people can find ways to increase their flexibility through things like yoga, and... ...well. There is a pattern here.

A weight-first health paradigm, only for fat people, can convince us that all those other tools just... don't exist. Alternately, maybe they're just not for us, not until we can turn ourselves from fat people to thin people... except something like a half-century of science says there is no reliable safe way to make that thing happen. (Also, they had damn well better be for us too, because I don't think I need to explain how disgusting it is to withhold entire classes of medical intervention from one statistically-speaking-immutable demographic group but give it freely to a contrasting demographic.)

Which doesn't mean I'm telling you that physical therapy or yoga or a gentle program of endurance-increasing activities will solve all your problems. I want to make sure they're in your toolkit, though. Maybe someone took out all your hammers and replaced them with screwdrivers. Well, here's some hammers back. Can you just decide to use a screwdriver anyway? Sure you can. Whatever's the right tool for the job.

(Tbh I don't know what to do about the heat. I am a baby about heat. If it's more than about 70 degrees I start complaining.)

As for the shake regime... it doesn’t surprise me that it worked while you were on it.  Replace enough actual nutritious food with whatever-the-hell those are made of, and you can probably do all sorts of exciting things to your body.  But like you said, it works until you stop using it, and once you go back to actual food (y’know, what's generally considered best when it's local, farm-to-table, fresh, minimally processed, all the stuff that’s apparently just great for thin people but we fat people need to consume nothing but diet shakes and super-processed prepackaged dinners because Health)... well, then it stops working.

There’s also the drum I just keep on beatin’, which is that sustained significant weight loss, statistically speaking, is not possible.  There are many, many scientific studies whose data shows that you are just as likely (sometimes more likely, depending on the study) to end up fatter than when you started.  So if the goal is “weigh less”, then, again statistically speaking, intentional weight loss attempts will not result in success.  (Don’t go by the study’s conclusion, go by the results.  It’d take me forever to find it, but there was a study where the data-driven results section backed up exactly what I’m saying, but in the unsourced conclusion section, they still wrote that they recommend attempted intentional weight loss.  Science(TM)!)

If your spouse is the type to be swayed by an appeal to logic, then you could do worse than to start here.  It’s a plain-language summation of various research, including two specific studies referenced at the bottom.  One of those studies is a huge synthesis of, if I am counting correctly, over three hundred different papers (the other is also a synthesis but I didn’t count references there).  Just to steal half of one paragraph from the synthesis study,

At the individual level, many weight loss studies demonstrate short-term success at reducing weight. However, critics argue that such studies generally suffer from a range of methodological problems including small sample sizes, underrepresentation of men, limited generalizability, a lack of blinded ascertainment of the outcome, a lack of data on adherence to assigned diets, and a large loss to follow-up (Simons-Morton, Obarzanek, & Cutler, 2006). Furthermore, critics argue that most weight loss trials do not have long-term follow-up, and so the results over the subsequent 2 to 5 years, when weight gain is most likely to occur, are largely unreported (Robison & Carrier, 2004). Where these results have been reported, weight loss programs have a long-term (2 to 5 years) failure rate of up to 95% (Gaesser, 2000; Mann et al., 2007). Weight loss is not only almost impossible for most people to maintain, but attempted weight loss strongly predicts weight gain (Lowe et al., 2006; Neumark-Sztainer, Wall, Story, & Standish, 2012; Pankevich, Teegarden, Hedin, Jensen, & Bale, 2010; Pietilainen, Saarni, Kaprio, & Rissanen, 2012; Stice, Presnell, Shaw, & Rohde, 2005). Between one third and two thirds of people who lose a substantial amount of weight on a dietary-based weight loss program will regain all the lost weight and more within 5 years (Mann et al., 2007)

The two of you can absolutely try this regime again, or another one.  It might be that this time, you are among the lucky few for whom it works -- because yes, in rare cases, intentional weight loss attempts do work.  They mostly don’t, though.  And you can search in the studies linked from that page I linked earlier for “weight cycling” to see just how healthy it is to keep trying in the hopes that this time, this time, you’ll be the lucky one.

Golly that was long.  I also don’t know how useful it was, wonderful anon, but I do know that I wish you a very good rest of your week.