#I'm trying to put different things every time but I might have repeated a few 🤔

[literaila]

three things

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: a fun trip to the grocery store (how do you raise children?)

warnings: a bit of anxiety, a bit too much of gojo

last part | next part

*

year one.

"no, satoru." 

how many times have you said that today? 

how many times has satoru pouted--like he's doing right now--and put back whatever he'd plucked off the shelf, grumbling something about how you hated him or you weren't his mom or how he was the one buying everything? 

oh, too many times to count. you stopped after five. 

megumi rolls his eyes with you, already familiar with this routine, looking at everything in the cart again with the same analytical eye he's had since you all walked into the store. you're pretty sure he's counting the total cost.

it might be cute--the way his frown deepens just a little bit after each new item is added--if it didn't worry you completely. 

because it's the first time you've taken the two of them to the store, and the first time you're trying to recall everything their eyes trail over, the things they want but neither of them will say.

you're trying to remember yourself as a kid--if you begged your parents for anything you could possibly want, or if you stood there and stared longingly. but your childhood has always been a dull memory you keep hidden in the attic of your mind. 

so you're not sure what to expect. 

because neither of them has asked for much, since the first night. tsumiki requested a notebook she could draw in, and megumi asked if you could get gojo to stop talking to him. 

the first which you did immediately, even letting gojo get her some expensive pencils to draw with, the second which you... tried. 

it hasn't been easy, the past few days. settling two kids into a dysfunctional house didn't exactly fit into your schedule for the week. 

"why not?" satoru demands, walking right along slide you, pushing the cart because you'd forced him to. "we need dessert." 

"there are seven different types of dessert already in there. i'm hiding at least three of those, by the way." 

"i'll find them," satoru grins mischievously, but waves a hand. "we've got two extra people in the house now. i'm not just shopping for me. do you want them to starve?" 

you roll your eyes, again. then pull on his hair, which he squeaks at. "you're only shopping for you. i've seen your pantries, you know. and i lived with you for three years. we all saw your grocery lists." 

satoru is about to say something, but tsumiki giggles. maybe at the stupid way his face looks. 

the way he's almost smiling, even in denial. how his eyes show from just behind his glasses, his brows moving like a separate entity on his face. 

you haven't really talked to him, the past couple of days. nothing beyond a question about megumi's technique, or where the two of them went to school. 

how long will it take before you finally ask him--

you look over to tsumiki, shaking your head at satoru and smiling back. 

"megumi doesn't like sweets much," she adds to you, easily.

you add it to the mental list of things you know about them.

you look at the little boy, and he nods, looking straight ahead. his shoes catch on the ground every couple of steps like they don't fit right. 

satoru gasps like this is an outrage. because not drinking straight sugar is offensive to him. 

"what?" he asks, stopping all three of you so he can grab megumi by the shoulders. "were you cursed?" he inspects the boy carefully, peering over the glasses on his face.

megumi seems to sink back with each glance of his eyes, his face turning red. 

"cursed to deal with you, maybe," you tell him, pushing him away from megumi. the boy fixes his hair--which had been pushed over his eyes--and glares at satoru.

"he doesn't like sweets?" the man repeats, mouth open, glancing at all three of you like he's not sure that any of you are sane.

"you say that as if you don't eat enough for all four of us." 

"i need the calories," satoru whines, fluttering his eyelashes at you. you ignore him--and the funny way you feel about the gesture.

you look at both of the kids, observing the two of you closely, and give them a look. a look as in, he's crazy. 

megumi swallows. "i like dango." 

"great!" you nudge satoru to keep walking. "we'll get some." 

"that's it?" satoru prods. "what about--" 

you pinch his hip and shake your head, glaring at him when he pouts at you again. 

you step on his heels as you walk through the aisles, still watching the kids with sharp eyes, trying to figure out anything they might want. 

tsumiki murmurs something to megumi every once and a while, but beyond that, they only walk alongside you and satoru, stepping out of the way of any other adults that pass by. 

honestly, you might as well have taken them to the park. they don't even glance at any of the shelves--except when satoru pushes one of them away to grab something. at least at the park, they'd be getting some fresh air. 

after you sigh in--what? frustration? disappointment?--for the fourth time, satoru gives you a look, raising his brows. you shake your head. 

he nudges you with his shoulder but doesn't say anything. whistling while he sneaks more sugar into the cart. 

after the fifteenth minute of this, megumi falls in stride beside you and you look down at him. his eyes evade yours, focusing on the necklace you're wearing instead.

"um, i have to use the restroom," he says to you, soft and embarrassed. 

"okay," you place a hand on his back, gently turning him around, "i think it's just over here," you say, listening as satoru follows along idly. 

"me too," tsumiki says, trailing on your other side. 

the store is almost completely empty, so you tell the two of them that you'll wait right outside the door, and lean against the wall, watching the both of them disappear. 

satoru is already looking at you. 

"what?" you groan, glaring at the doors. 

"what what?" 

you sigh. his voice is annoying. "why are you looking at me?" 

satoru is too close for comfort, his arm brushing against yours--uncomfortably of course because he is the worst--without a care in the world. "what's up?" 

"what do you mean?" 

"why are you acting weird?" 

"i'm not acting weird," you look at him, frowning. 

he's wiping his glasses on his shirt--like he can actually see out of them--and looking at you quizzically. "oh, so you staring at tsumiki and megumi like they're a science experiment isn't weird?" 

you ignore him and his stupid blue eyes. 

"if i was doing that you'd push me down a flight of stairs, but okay..." 

you sigh again, rolling your eyes. and then again. and then you relent because satoru's silence will inevitably break you. "they haven't asked for anything," you say, almost whining to him. "you told them they could pick out whatever they want." 

satoru shrugs. "so they don't want anything." 

"everyone wants something, satoru. especially kids." 

"everyone?" 

"yes. i'd expect you to know better than anyone," he laughs but you frown. "it's a human trait." 

he smirks, leaning down towards you. "what do you want, then?" 

you scoff, flicking his forehead. "i want them to feel comfortable. and i want you to stop bugging megumi." 

"but he makes it so easy," satoru says, pretending to be innocent.

"you're the adult, here," you say, even though you don't really believe it--nor should you. "act like it." 

"all the kid does is scowl," satoru complains. "i'm just trying to make him comfortable." 

"by invading his space?" 

"you stare from far away, i stare from up close." 

"you antagonize." 

satoru grins, crossing his arms, very pleased with himself. he's silent again. 

the past year has almost made you forget that satoru knows you like this. he's always known how to keep you talking, how to read your face and your hesitant glances. 

it's not like time could make him forget. it's not like you've forgotten anything about him. 

"you aren't worried?" you ask, after a second. 

"about the kids?" 

"yes," you say, obviously, "that we're already messing something up." 

he gives you a dubious look. "it's been four days." 

and he's right. you can't expect to understand either one of them after seventy-two hours of merely knowing about their existence. but you don't know how to treat kids like these, because any mistake you make--anything you say--will inevitably come back to haunt you. 

"it's--" you shake your head. satoru doesn't worry about anything, so you don't even know why you're bringing it up. "it's like when you play with someone else's kid and feel like you're breaking some unspoken rule. except this time we're the ones making the rules. there's no one to tell us if we mess up." 

"i think megumi would tell us," satoru answers, almost sarcastically. 

"he's the kid, idiot," you groan. "he doesn't know." 

"rude," satoru is still grinning. "what could you have messed up, at this point? all you've been doing is asking them questions. that's pretty straightforward." 

"maybe it's too much, too fast." 

satoru snorts, shaking his head at you. "grocery shopping?" 

"everything." 

satoru raises a brow at you, watching as you deflate. you feel like each move you make takes a little more air out of you, and who's to say when you'll finally run out? 

how many mistakes do you have to make to finally get it right? 

and you know--and you know that he knows--that it's not just about them, but about you. is this too fast? is this too much?

satoru rests a hand on your head. "you're too in your head about this." 

"well, i have to do it for the both of us." 

he ignores that. "if they need something, they'll ask," the words are soft, genuine. he's completely sure like he always is. "you made it clear that we're just here to help. it's been four days." 

you sigh, nodding reluctantly. 

"we'll figure it out," he says, simply. "you don't need to worry about anything. i mean, i'm here, so..." 

you push his hand away, glaring. "megumi doesn't even talk to you." 

"hey, yes he does." 

"to call you a freak, maybe. or tell you to shut up." 

"don't be jealous of my relationship with megumi. we're bonding." 

you roll your eyes but find a laugh making its way out of you. 

he's always been good at this, too. making everything seem easy. 

when tsumiki comes out of the bathroom door, she smiles at the sight of the two of you still there--both talking animatedly, with similar glares in your eyes. she settles in beside satoru, copying him as she leans against the wall. 

"you think i'm great, don't you tsumiki?" satoru asks her, goading. 

she nods immediately. 

you snort and look away while tsumiki giggles when satoru leans down to smack a kiss on her cheek. 

something inside of you warms, just briefly. 

and then megumi comes out, rubbing his hands together. unlike tsumiki, he glares at satoru and chooses to stand beside you. 

"okay," satoru clasps his hands together. "are you both ready to go?" 

"um," you turn to him. "satoru we haven't--" 

megumi nods immediately, looking a bit brighter at the prospect, and tsumiki furrows her brows, questioning. 

"great! both of you pick out three things that you want and then we'll leave." 

megumi glowers. 

"three things?" you clear your throat. "they need more--" 

"three things," satoru repeats, looking right at megumi while he says it. some words pass non-verbally between the two of them. you might have to tell satoru not to talk to megumi about anything without you. "we'll get everything else we need." 

tsumiki runs alongside megumi and grabs his arm, which he allows, though you watch his eyes roll. 

"go on," satoru shoos them away, smiling all proudly. when they're gone, he turns to you again. "there. now you don't have to worry about picking something they like." 

and he reaches his hand to grab yours, as a simple habit. 

satoru has never tip-toed around the line of physical contact. even with shoko, even when she would push him off.

something passes between the two of you. holding his hand is familiar; egged on by four years of standing alongside him. 

you try not to flinch away from the contact. 

and, sure, satoru probably just lost both of them in the store, and you don't actually have everything else you need, or know what those things are, but he's smiling at you. 

he's trying to be reassuring. 

so you smile back and let him hold your hand. 

"we'll figure it out," he whispers to you, and you push the cart this time while the two of you try to find the children he just lost.

*

later that night--after forcing satoru to put away the groceries with the rest of you--megumi lets you sneak into his room with a (third) bag of candy that satoru grabbed last second, acting like you wouldn't notice. 

"where's the best hiding spot for this?" you ask him, looking around.

it's pretty doubtful that satoru would risk going into megumi's room just to look for it. and, you're sure, that megumi probably wouldn't let satoru open the door, nonetheless go through his things.

the boy points at his dresser and moves some clothes so you can hide it at the bottom of one of the drawers. he doesn't even question your motivations.

as you back out of the room again, you make him promise not to tell, and, for a single second, megumi smiles back at you, crossing his heart. 

*

next part

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Alright, we've had Nuzi headcanons. We've now had Vuzi headcanons... Let's heart it, you're Violent Biting Biscuits headcanons, N x Uzi x V... Or if you'd rather complete the set, eNVy headcanons. I am curious of both. (Your headcannons are just super cute)

Holy hecc, I'm so sorry for answering these asks so late but i'm gonna be honest- I just never think anyone likes my writings or ever reads them XD

okay then lets see- my ViolentBitingBiscuits headcanons- i will put eNVy for the next ask because someone else asked for it too and they wont all fit here lol.

My NUziV headcanons ovo<3 :

[once again these are only the drone versions, the human versions aren't involved / also i may add some 🔞🔞🔞 ones this time lol >:3 also uhhh apologies in advance but this one is long as all hell so....um]

K we know the drill, they are all together- hopefully in the future- even if any of them dies i'm gonna pretend i do not see 🙄 deadass gonna treat this like the jjba fandom- my faves are ALIVE AND WELL SHUT UP ARAKI-

Okay so there's some things that we have already mentioned in the previous headcanons- ill try to not repeat them unless they are necessary but ill also try to treat this as its own post and lightly repeat them real quick too-

N and V started out fighting over Uzi, and Uzi obviously was mostly into N at first- but after a while i guess Vs advances got to her- especially since she was- in a way- so desperate for attention/affection, so it felt a little overwhelming to her but in a good way. they very obviously flirted with her which got them silently treating it as a challenge- and Uzi being Uzi obviously loved the attention she got out of it- opting to let this just... kinda continue lmao. she didn't expect to let it go far enough for her to end up with both of them but here we are XD

We slightly touched this topic before about V but to reiterate- all of them have different levels of trauma that they all deal with and currently V has gone through the worst of it, both having to endure Cyn's torture in her mindspace and also having to watch N get slaughtered in front of her and possibly even having a hand in it. She fears losing people that mean to her so she became avoidant with a difficult personality to guard whatever's left of her. It took a really long time for her to decide to be with the two and to protect them and not run away from her feelings for anyone or anything. but some days its still difficult for her so sometimes N and Uzi have to literally trap her into a wrestling cuddle pile or something to get her to just... exist, without feeling like the whole universe is weighing her down. N and Uzi want her to know they are there to protect HER from those inner demons too.

sometimes the cuddle piles end up with N and V once again trying to get Uzi's attention lmao which ends up with them being a little too horny on main- whoops :) - everything starts with a little nibble here, a small bite there - maybe some pillow fights and climbing over eachother or holding one another down in different positions- aaaand then they wake up a few hours later with Uzi having regrets cuz these two are horny as f-

ANYWAY- N is probably the most patient of the 3, and although he usually never breaks up fights because he trusts the other two to handle their own problems without him needing to mom them, sometimes Uzi and V go a lil too far and he gets very tired of dealing with this kind of behavior. he never blows up at them- but he usually goes away to take a breather- sometimes hanging out with Thad or the other drones- and during this time Uzi and V kinda feel bad- but then they would think of stuff like maybe planning dates or getting food for him, draw stuff on cards and etc- or go around trying to find gifts to make him happy<3 sometimes they might add some extra kisses and unwinding sessions in the end as an extra treat :p N always forgives them obviously, he just needs some guys night out every once in a while or something lmao-

Getting close to Uzi became an excuse for N and V to get closer to eachother too. ironically, it first started with them bantering about who is better at what- but then it turned into unironically flirting and teasing eachother- but after a while they realized their relationship isn't going to ever be the same as what it was back in their old days but its also something completely new, so they become more willing to accept one another and explore their newer dynamic.

they all love being coddled and pampered every now and then. Uzi and V may not outright admit it- but they really do too. so they take turns with who they put in the middle of receiving affection :p

N and V are VERYYYYYY over protective of Uzi. to the point that they wouldn't even let the doctor [for tech repair obviously] check Uzi or touch her in any way when she had a small virus case lol. Khan had to pay the poor doctor extra for that.... deciding to leave his daughter in her room in a cuddle pile of two murderous demons that have glowing cat eyes every time he comes in the room smh.

V and N really like cuddling Uzi and sticking their hands under her clothes. or sometimes just flat out sleeping or cuddling naked. its less of a sexual thing and more so to do with the fact that the two MD's have higher body temperature and a less efficiant body for cooling- since they have a more compact torso and a lot less oil and coolant fluids going through them [since they need to consume it continuously] and having a bunch of working nanobots and nanites shoved into them to turn into weapons/wings/etc- and Uzi- although having the AS- is still very much less in need of cooling due to still having a more efficient body design for a "exoplanetary worker unit", with a still functioning cooling system inside that doesn't necessarily need extra oil to make it work unless under stressful conditions.... even if she probably does have worms and fleshy tentacles inside her now lmao. But either way Uzi's body is still a lot colder than the others so she's usually shared in the middle and at this point Uzi cant even be embarrassed when they slide their hands under her clothes and grab her wherever smh..... although V also does it as a semi possessive thing so there's that pfft. she was especially handsy after that doctor left XDDD.

Yes Uzi has very much in fact ended up at the medical/tech repair unit multiple times because N and V have sometimes ended up being a bit too much for her to handle- and the doctor [a character yall shall meet later] has absolutely had it. She had to literally sit the 3 down, explain to them their body differences via scans and the damages they may cause Uzi and it was basically the robot version of having "the talk" with your child- and Uzi wanted to die there and then.

Uzi sometimes just tells the two to drink blood from her- the first time they wanted to share oil they were scared about accidentally causing Uzi to overheat- but after a few times of trying it, they continued doing it more frequently either by kissing and regurgitating or taking turns to bite Uzi or vice versa. N and V typically don't use one another's oil because they already have high usage as it is, it wouldn't be efficient. admittedly N and V always have concerns when it came to biting Uzi- but somehow they found out Uzi actually enjoys it a little when they do it and well...they get ideas lmao- they just make sure to lick her indents clean with their regenerative saliva to make the AS work as little as possible on Uzi's body.

N really enjoys seeing his partners smooch..... for study purposes ofc lmao- actually he uses his visor to take pictures sometimes- let the man be a little horny in peace smh. and don't worry Uzi and V know all this- they just wanna tease him a little bit :p

Uzi and N usually chit chat while they are in the bed until they fall asleep- but V prefers to just hug Uzi on the side listening to them while they talk until she falls asleep too

they love going around in human based areas with shops and stuff to find books to read together or any other fun human stuff they can find- maybe table top games? lol- V goes for the sports stuff. she kinda wanna try hitting something with a bat...

[okayyyy so tumblr doesn't let me write any more XD i def have more ideas but oh well. also ill save the eNVy for another ask that i have in my inbox so you'll get that soon too :p]

[yan-lorkai]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ a/n: i pretty much wrote this bcs of boredom, then put on queaue, then i wanted to rewrite it lmao. so i'm just posting it now ~

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: well, cannibalism????? gn!reader as always

"How does it taste?"

You asked, watching the blood staining his lips. Like a river, the red, metallic liquid trickled down the sides of his mouth with each bite of raw flesh that Jade savored so passionately. Hungry like a predator, his eyes carried a promise of death for anyone who dared to interrupt him at that hour when he suddenly turned.

You, however, were used to receiving that look and didn’t mind it.

On the ground before you lay dozens of enemy bodies. The foul stench of death spread in intense waves. You wouldn’t be able to describe it if someone asked, but it was horrendous. And yet, Jade found pleasure in devouring that flesh and blood. You wondered what it tasted like. Would it be similar to beef, pork, or chicken? Or something entirely different?

He smiled, bits of flesh stuck in his teeth as he adjusted his suit and walked toward you. Blood dripped from his sharp, grinning teeth. His eyes sparkled with a wild gleam as he savored every bite.

"Raw flesh has a peculiar taste, an indulgence that few understand," he mused, running his tongue across his lips to clean the remnants of blood.

"That’s technically cannibalism," you retorted, uncertain.

Nothing in his posture suggested Jade would harm you, yet it was better not to push your luck while you were still on his good side. It would be safer to do what Floyd had asked — borrow a pair of Jade’s shoes — and leave, but Jade was already too close, staring at you with gleaming eyes and a smile that made you want to vomit from the overwhelming stench of death emanating from him.

"Cannibalism? Don’t be so mundane, my dear. It’s part of my diet. In the ocean, everyone eats such things all the time. Please, don’t apply human laws to me in the same way." Breathing in that warm breath was difficult, but you maintained your composure to avoid offending the eel. You never knew when you might be next on his list.

"Is that how it works?" You murmured, trying to look away, but Jade’s eyes were like an abyss. Hypnotic. Inescapable. He always had that effect on you, a mix of fascination and fear. Despite his refined and polished appearance, you knew he was dangerous. Deadly, even.

Jade tilted his head, as if savoring the tension in the air between you. The smile never left his bloodstained lips.

"Oh, it works quite well, actually." His voice was a seductive whisper, dancing between calmness and something... predatory. "Each bite... every drop... is an experience. Something that few have the privilege to appreciate."

You swallowed hard, feeling cold sweat trickling down your neck. Fresh blood dripped from his pale fingers, staining the already soaked ground around you. He made no effort to clean his hands, and the sight only made him seem more savage, a refined predator who had just hunted.

"Do you... enjoy it?" The question slipped out before you could stop it. Your voice sounded shakier than you’d have liked, but it was hard to feign indifference in the face of such grotesque scenery.

Jade chuckled softly, a low, melodic sound, like the echo of an underwater current. He took a step forward, and you felt the space around you shrink. He was too close now.

"Enjoy?" He repeated, his eyes gleaming with malice. "I would say it’s more than that. It’s a matter of necessity... of survival. And you, Yuu?" He raised an eyebrow, his gaze fixed on yours. "Have you never wondered what it would be like? The taste? The texture? The feeling of completely dominating something or someone?"

Your stomach churned. Jade always had a way of wrapping you in his words, as if trying to drag you into the same dark world he inhabited. And the worst part? A small part of you wanted to know. Wanted to understand.

"No... I..." You began, but the words died in your throat when he raised his bloodied hand and ran it across his lips, licking his index finger with disturbing calm.

"I could show you, if you wish," he whispered, his voice like a cold current snaking toward you. "Just a small bite... nothing too dangerous. Just enough for you... to experience it."

Your heart raced. It was an invitation, but also a threat. A test. Jade enjoyed playing with your limits, pushing them just to see how far you could go before breaking. And now, he watched you with that intense gaze, waiting for your answer.

"I... think I’ll pass," you managed to say, trying to smile, though fear burned inside you. "Floyd sent me to get the shoes. Nothing more."

For a moment, silence stretched between you. Then, Jade stepped back, the smile still present but now with something almost disappointed.

"Ah, Floyd." He murmured, adjusting his suit with a graceful gesture. "Always so practical. So straightforward. Very well, Yuu. I won’t be rude. Not today."

You took a deep breath, feeling relief fill your lungs. He was letting you go. For now. Jade retrieved a pair of shoes from a nearby corner, clean, as if they hadn’t witnessed the macabre scene around them. He extended them to you with a refined gesture, as if offering a gift.

"Take them." His eyes gleamed again with that familiar malice. "But remember, Yuu... the door between you and me is never fully closed. Perhaps, one day, your curiosity will win."

You took the shoes, your hands slightly trembling, and stepped back.

"Maybe..." You replied softly, trying to sound firm, though you weren’t sure you believed it.

With one last smile, Jade turned back to the bodies on the ground, as if you were no longer there. You didn’t look back as you left—because you knew that if you did, you would find those predatory eyes watching your every move.

And somehow, you knew he was right.

[hero-of-the-wolf]

Thanks for the tag!!! :)

1. my beloved cat

2. puzzling out a dungeon

3. the animals I work with 🫶

4. my faith

5. the OST of Newsies (1992)

no pressure tags to @luna-lovegreat @skyward-floored @adrift-in-thyme and @seaotter-17 @emig22 and @asocial-lobster !!!

You must now list five things that make you happy, as well as send an ask into the inbox of the last ten people who reblogged from you, asking them to do the same!!!

Thanks for the ask, @summaryscar! Hmmmmm...... 5 things that make me happy? I could go into tons of detail on the LU one, but I will ramble forever if I do, so in summary:

(Obligatory but also honest) MY FAMILY

2. LU, and the community around it

3. Daydreaming to music or while cloud gazing

4. Walks in nature

5 Delicious food

Not super-original, but sometimes basic is underrated.

@passerinesoncaffeine @musical-chan @rebornofstars @wingedpatrolunknown @poofyanon @turdofanerd @wanderlustmagician @linkiscool333 @pikminapplebloom @lunavagans

And turning it back on you, @summaryscar! Gimme the deets!

(Thanks for the Kudos on Reconciliation too!)

[ingravinoveritas]

So I just wanna ask u just does this look like a real happy healthy relationship and in love with each or just put on for show for the fans and why do I feel like she making it all about her again and reminded everyone who she with it feels micheal was forced in the pictures taking with her the red carpet photo she looked bored and annoyed cos michael not paying any attention he just look miserable but I bet if it was David standing there instead of anna his face would be beaming like the one Georgia posted of them 4 together micheal face is electric and see how he lean toward David that best friend goals and I just love seeing them together cos that when he at his most happiness place

Also I find it strange that Anna was left out in staged scene but David wife gerogia made appearance doesn't that strike u as odd and gerogia brought the plus one date a girl could have and it wasnt anna yet they call each other wife clearly not as close etc then David and Michael are it seems.

And did u notice in the scene with David and Tom hiddleson about the dog sitter initially could present as benign and then he and the dog get up to all kinds of hijinks and ultimately disrupt stuffy old Michael sheen boring life but for the better like why put that in the script maybe his life with anna is boring and only staying cos he feels he needs too for the young children what do u think of all this

From @amata-haan along with a screenshot of the group photo:

(Grouping all of these together since it seems we've got a bit to talk about here.)

So, the biggest point of discussion seems to be the group pic that Georgia posted, and I will put up a larger size of that for us to discuss:

When I saw that Georgia had posted this in an Insta story, of course my first thought was "Finally a picture of Michael and David together!" I think that was what we were all hoping for all night, to where it was almost glaring that we hadn't gotten one when the event ended (until Georgia's post, that is).

The second thing that came to mind is what you alluded to @moriarty-sisters, about this being a near repeat of what we've seen a few times before (first at the NTAs in 2021, and then the group photo Georgia posted on Michael's birthday, that appears to have been taken after Michael went to see Macbeth):

Every time, Georgia is on the right. Every time, she and Anna have the same tight smiles while Michael and David have huge grins on their faces. At this point, it feels intentional, because twice might be a coincidence, but three times is a plan. There are slight differences to the vibes in each picture--although Georgia looks like she knows a secret and Michael and David look like a very happy couple in every one of them--but last night's group pic was...something.

Which takes me to your comment @phantomstars24 about how Michael is holding AL. I was under the impression that he had his hand on her waist, but if he is touching her breast, I'm perplexed at that being her reaction. She looks stiff and like a deer caught in the headlights, and regardless of where Michael's hand is, it doesn't seem like that's a great way to look when your own boyfriend is touching you. Adding to the strange optics is the fact that Michael is actually leaning toward David in the picture and away from her. It looks like his arm/shoulder is pressing into David and there isn't a millimeter of space between them, yet he seems to be a mile away from Anna despite having an arm around her.

(And none of this is even touching on Georgia using the theme song from Friends in the Insta story for the group pic, which she had to know we would all notice...)

So yes, a lot of thoughts on the group pic, but overall delighted to see Michael and David looking so happy next to each other. Especially Michael, in stark contrast to how he looked in some of the other pictures.

Speaking of which...I briefly talked about Michael and AL at the BAFTAs yesterday here and here, so I will try not to repeat myself too much in this part of my answer. But what I think we are seeing is two things: Anna's fantasy of what she thinks her and Michael's relationship is, and the reality of what we saw at the BAFTAs.

I think in AL's mind, she and Michael were like Georgia and David. But if we are going to say that Georgia and David were very loving and sweet together on the red carpet yesterday--which they absolutely were, with the kiss they shared and David comforting Georgia when she was experiencing anxiety--then there is no way you can look at the pictures of Michael and Anna and see the same thing. Even without bringing GT/DT into it, there is a massive, marked difference between pictures of Michael with AL vs. pictures of him with literally anyone else (such as this pic with Hannah Waddingham).

Looking at Anna's pictures that she posted, every one of them seems to be about ownership, right down to the Insta story with the #mine hashtag (which again seems to be her copying Georgia, also on the night of an award ceremony). The vibe that I got was of a teenager who'd won a date with her favorite celebrity and took him to the prom. Ultimately, though, she looked out of place, and he looked uncomfortable with her, both of which are a remarkable feat after five years of a relationship.

The pictures also repeated themes we've seen before (AL has previously posted a picture of her kissing Michael's cheek where he looks equally withdrawn; the photo in the car on the way to the event is a copy of pictures Georgia has posted of her and David in the car on the way to events) and speak to that idea of pushing a certain narrative, despite neither one of them appearing to sell it very well.

To that end, and to your comments @lepqueen and @turquoisedata, I would agree with you that it looks like AL is trying to mark her territory. The problem is that Michael had more chemistry just talking with David in that opening BAFTAs sketch than he did with Anna the entire night, and she was frequently left looking like she had no idea what she was doing or why she was there. Another example of this is an Insta story she posted earlier today that again demonstrated her main interest in the relationship:

What's particularly noteworthy is the follow up Insta story on the right, which I couldn't believe she actually posted. I think that if you are fine and happy with the narrative you've put out, you are not going to be bothered by or salty about a comment like that, and AL clearly was. And all of this then casts at least some doubt that the pictures she posted are really telling the whole story. Just a recap of what we do know about last night (and if I am forgetting anything, someone please let me know):

- Anna was the only principal member of the cast who was not in the Staged-themed opening sketch, despite being in all three seasons of the show. - Anna was not seated next to Michael during the in person part of the opening sketch, despite there being no reason the producers couldn't have put her next to him even as a seat filler. - Georgia brought her friend Daisy Aitkens as a +1 and sat with her instead of Anna, leaving us with the above picture of AL sitting alone and staring straight ahead while in the background of a Michael J. Fox picture (that she is acting like is a picture of her with him, instead of her photobombing a picture of MJF with his wife). - During the show, the camera repeatedly cut to Michael in the audience when there was no reason to do so, but did not show Anna on camera once.

So yes, I think that if last night at the BAFTAs was somehow AL's attempt to mark her territory/assert her place in the UK acting industry, it did not seem to go over well. I think David and Georgia's relationship and Michael and David's relationship emerged even stronger than before, and unfortunately AL and Michael's relationship did not and does not compare.

My apologies for rambling on, as I never intended for this to get so long. As I've said before, this is all just my opinion, and I know I could be completely wrong, so I'm glad as always to hear from my followers with your thoughts. Thanks for writing in! x

[clovers-housetree]

Baby Steps: Drinking Water!

This is the first installment in a series of posts I'd like to do expanding on some of the things I've talked about here (which- blew up by the way??? thank you all so much??? <3) and here!

Long intro/backstory to this post series below!!

I often tend to immediately tense up at the thought of handling a big upcoming project or tackling something I've procrastinated on or neglected to do, even adding things to my daily routine like brushing my teeth or wearing my retainer- even drinking water, since I've spent a majority of my time in my room just sitting, over the past few years.

I know I have different little posts 'n' such that talk about these things already, but I want to expand on things and get a little more in-depth on advice and things that have worked for me and helped me out!

This series is separate from everything else, though I'll probably list more things in other "regression activity lists" or scenes- You might see some of the same content in multiple posts, is what I'm trying to say- but I do that because different things work for different people, and I know regression in particular isn't all sunshine and rainbows for everyone. I want to try to appeal to a wider audience and learn more from the community, be a bigger part of the community so I can help people out, because that's something I enjoy.

My regression in particular is voluntary and solely for stress-relief, so to me, I kinda feel like I only know surface-level things about it, although I've been doing my research.

There may not be that much to it anyhow, I just-

I just wanna help people as best I can, I think. ^^; Which is why I'm so intent on interaction and explaining that I don't know everything but that I want to learn, so that I can help y'all out.

Anyway!!

★ This will probably be a repeat bullet point in this series, but if you have a device that can set alarms, maybe a timer of some sort- any kind of time-keeping device that dings in certain intervals, I'd recommend using it.

Alarms on your phone, timers, any little reminders you can make to help you with the things you struggle with, if you're like me and stuck sitting a lot or don't do much during the day (or are the complete opposite and do so much during the day) that you tend to neglect taking care of yourself.

★ Fill up or grab a water bottle whenever you start your day or are about to do something, and keep it with you! This way if you do end up thirsty, you don't have to stop what you're doing and worry about getting water, you'll already have it on you!

When it gets empty, that's what you've got your reminders for! Maybe every half hour or so to check how much water you've got and if you need to refill, or maybe make something as a reminder once the bottle's empty to refill, just so you've still got water and don't have to go back and forth to fill up a cup so often.

★ You could also put ice or fruit in your water! Different shapes or sizes, and whatever fruit (or veggie? I've heard cucumbers taste good!) you want if that sounds yummy! I like my water with lemon sometimes. -w-

I'm not recommending any sort of flavoring or those Cirkul water bottles with the flavor pods because I'm not sure how healthy or reliable they are, or how much sugar they have, stuff like that. If anyone has any info on those sorts of things they use and would recommend, please feel free to share!

Edit: Check the notes, we've got insight! Thank you to everyone for their input!! :3

★ You can customize your water bottle, sippy, bottle, bowl (for the pets!) with whatever you want! Maybe stickers, maybe a straw, you could get one with your favorite characters on it- make it fit and customizable so it works for you, have fun decorating it and make it something appealing to the eye so it might get you to take a sip!

If you have any other tips, feel free to share! ^w^

Know that I'll always be here for you if you need me, and I'm very proud of you for trying!

"Fluttershy protects this blog! SFW interaction only, please and thank you! ^w^"

"Wouldn't show a kid? Doesn't belong here!"

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Hello! Thank you for every advice you give here!

This might sound like a weird ask, but I don't know how to write the second(or more) draft. I've heard some advice about rewriting and not editing, but every time I try to write the second draft, I just end up copying the first one, with very few differences.

So my question is, what is your way of writing the second draft and if you have any advice on that? I know some things that work for some don't work for others, but I just can't seem to find the right way.

Oh, second drafts. Only the most difficult writing step after drafting, followed by the most difficult step of writing the third draft.

The good news is that almost no one pulls together their story on the second draft. If your first draft is putting down the bones of the story, the second is figuring out where to lay the connective tissue. Maybe you've got too many bones, maybe you don't have enough. Maybe some of your bones are too short, or too misshapen to work. The second draft is getting that story skeleton together, knowing full well you're gonna need to fix some of those bones first.

Get yourself a plan to put that skeleton together - make an outline. I swear I'm not the sworn enemy of pantsers that i sometimes seem to be (it's professional jealousy, I swear), but if you don't have an outline, now is the time to get one. If you do, go back and revise that first. You'll want to know what you want the story to become from the pile of bones you're working from.

Not enough bones - identify what you're missing. If you're like me, sometimes while drafting you write 'figure this shit out later' and then forget to do so. Thanks for nothing, Past Me. But chances are your story needs some added scenes, more character development, etc. Identifying those missing pieces and fleshing out your outline can help you tackle a second draft.

Too many bones - figure out what needs to be cut. Not every scene is going to be worth keeping no matter how attached to them you are. If you're on the fence about a scene, consider if it serves to move the plot forward, develops the characters, or establishes important worldbuilding. If the scene meanders plotlessly, repeats character beats instead of expanding on them, or seems to suck the oxygen out of the story, you may have to rethink or remove them.

These bones don't fit - figure out what scenes are lacking. Another thing I tend to do in first drafts is sell my scenes short. I just don't think of the best outcome, the most dramatic climax, or a great setting when I'm trying to figure out what happens. In going through your novel, think about each scene carefully. Should this argument take place in a deserted library, or would it be more emotional and dramatic on a crowded train? If the villain's plot seems small, how can you make him a greater threat?

Uuuh bro that's not a human bone - revising scenes that went off the rails. If you're gearing up for NaNoWriMo yet again, you might know the feeling of writing pages of bullshit to make that wordcount. It could be good bullshit! It could be really fun! But if it sticks out like a sore thumb in the story, it may be best to set aside to figure out what to make out of it later.

You're not going to get everything right in the second draft either, so don't over-stress in trying to get your story whipped into shape. But you will be better off after giving those bones a little polish and assembling them into what could conceivably pass for a decent skeleton, one that you won't mind sharing with others to see what other work it might need. Good luck!

[bigskydreaming]

So, been awhile! Apologies for that - took a step back from most social media sites for a few months because the accumulated stresses and everpresent urgency to most things I've been dealing with for the past five plus years finally caught up with me and I kinda just....crashed, and needed some time to get my head on straight. Or whatever the non-obvious-pun version of that might be for a Known Bisexual. Everything was getting to be too constantly 'stop and go' for me, if that makes sense.....like I'd TRY to be more present on here, TRY to work on things like my patreon and fic and meta and stuff like that because I've really wanted to get back to creating actual stuff that people enjoy instead of being like My Issues: The Latest Installment and the like, but then something else would crop up and kill my momentum before it even really got going and I'd have to duck away yet again, and rinse and repeat.

HENCE! I took a more dedicated, extended leave to try and get into a headspace and build a buffer that better lends itself to me getting back to the kinds of posting/writing conditions I've thrived under in the past. It took longer than I thought, but I've never been good at accurately estimating things lol. I've still been on twitter somewhat sporadically, since a huge part of why I hate that site is its format makes it all but impossible to really get to ranting at length...y'know, as I do, my tried and true time-suck method of procrastinating...and with everything going on in the world these days I didn't want to disconnect entirely even though I did need time to work through some shit. BUT I DIGRESS.

Point is, felt like I needed something more substantial than the optimistic-but-lacking-in-actual-energy-and-planning measures I've attempted in the past couple years in order to get on top of things and achieve a measure of consistency and stability again. Less shooting for the moon because I just WANT to be back to my older, happier/more content patterns, more....putting some actual time and thought into how I can realistically make that happen instead of just trying to will it into existence through sheer stubbornness. Because obviously, THAT always works.

ANYWAY. It'll still be a couple days before I get back to regular posting/reblogging patterns or much of any of that at all.....don't be confused if you see some blink and you miss them temporary posts from me over the next day or two. I'm testing out the formatting and layout of a bunch of posts and graphics made for my patreon and original fiction stuff, since the preview post function doesn't always work with read mores in a post and they're all gonna need that lol. If anyone's up for it, I am finalizing the price/reward tiers of my patreon and could use some thoughts on the different levels - I think I have them mostly figured out but wouldn't mind some additional perspectives on how I broke things down and if I'm missing some alternatives. Just message me directly if you'd like to weigh in or lend me your thoughts!

I've never wanted my tumblr to be all about fic or just original content or anything like that, so the patreon's meant to kinda keep all that separate beyond just generalized update announcements on here. The blog will remain just a regular multi-purpose smorgasboard of my reblogs and thoughts on other posts and meta about my various fandoms and all that jazz. The patreon discord will have spaces having to do with my various fanfics, but they'll never be exclusive to it in any way, and every fic update I make will still be on my blog same as always. I've been building masterlists of all my Dick Grayson meta and all my Teen Wolf meta, as well as headcanons and writing snippets/scenes that never got posted elsewhere because I didn't consider them full fics, and I'm starting a series of posts that lean directly into my tendencies to be an Overly Opinionated Asshole who - historically speaking - has never been, uh, shy, shall we say, about Having Thoughts about various fandom patterns or trends.

So....look out for the upcoming "Kalen Vs Fandoms" post series. What? It sounded catchy to me. First up:

"Fandoms' tendency to pick one character per fandom to have every other character introduce as the dumbest person they've ever met, but no its okay, they're actually really fond of them and universally defaulting to a judgmental or patronizing shot at their intelligence every single time they're the topic of conversation among other characters just naturally happens to be part of every single other character's love language - is this perhaps NOT as endearing or affectionate as fandoms tend to treat it as?" Aka "How many people can actually say they'd be comfortable with the idea of every single person in their family or friend group leading with "I genuinely think they're stupid but I love them anyway" each time they talk about them to someone else, and if you don't think that's a normal conversation starter for people to have about a loved one, why do so many fandoms attempt to treat it as such?"

.....the length of post title should not be taken as an indicator of how long each post is. If people want to draw their own conclusions about post length based solely on the fact that they're, well, by me.....I mean. That's totally your prerogative. Nothing I can do about that!

Post topics will run the gamut, if for no other reason than gamut is an amazing word that doesn't get used enough and I wanted to use it. From "Its totally valid to project onto characters and use fic as a way to work through various issues via that projection but how much does this have to do with how defensively people react to the slighest criticism of character choices in their fics as though personally attacked - discuss" to "Criticizing and condemning the writers of source material for specific things - to rave reviews from followers - only to then do the exact same specific things in your own fics - to rave reviews from followers - while claiming that the mere fact of being a fan not getting paid for writing those specific things somehow makes them less worthy of criticism.....are we all seeing the problem here."

There's a slight chance those titles are perhaps....somewhat unnecessarily asshole-coded, but like, in a whimsical way! I think. Whatever. I'm sure it'll be fine!

Will either rhyme OR reason be involved in the order of post topics? No. Not even a little bit. Next question.

Aside from "Kalen vs Fandoms" I've been putting a lot of thought into what other topics or content I can expound upon at length, to the possible interest of people. I'm good at writing and editing and analyzing narratives. Not claiming to be the best, just not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I think my analysis of narrative and character choices has generally been of interest in most fandoms I've been in, but when I'm IN a fandom, I do personally invest in favorite characters and stories that inevitably put me in opposition to takes from fans of other characters and stories within that fandom, and when that happens, the Horseman of Discourse inevitably follows and I....do the discourse. Look, I am who I am. I see the discourse, I engage with the discourse. Unless I don't care about the topic of discourse, in which case I don't, because that discourse doesn't matter. Obviously.

SO! In the interest of posting about narrative analysis and breakdowns of writing choices, character arcs and the like but WITHOUT engaging in The Discourse, I'll be making an easy-to-find post of fandoms or source material whose characters and narratives I'm familiar enough with TO have opinions or analysises of, but for whatever reason, the fandom has never clicked for me and I've never actually felt a desire to be part of it. Thus I'm not likely to be invested or compelled enough to follow up on anyone disagreeing with my personal thoughts or analysis or various character arcs or narratives, because its literally just like, my opinion man, presented for no other purpose than to potentially be of interest to anyone who might be interested in it. No actual follow up needed on my part because I'm not particularly chuffed if people have different takes, they're totally valid, mine don't exist for the purpose of being defended there, they just exist because Opinions, I Had Them, Here Look. Or Don't. Its Totally Whatever.

Because I don't feel as strongly about these pieces of media as I do fandoms I'm personally invested in, it is trickier to come up with a comprehensive list of ones I can weigh in on. So please feel free to hit up my inbox with any fandoms, narrative or character arcs you're curious about my take on, and I'll let you know if they're fandoms I consider myself a participant in, and thus not really right for this series, or if they're something I'm just not knowledgeable about.....but if they're not an actual fandom of mine and I AM familiar enough with them to have an analytical take or response, I'll add them to the masterlist/post as a potential topic.

This series will be called and tagged "Kalen Vs Writing Choices" (That I Personally Don't Like Or Think Could Be Better). The parenthetical part is there solely to be a disclaimer clarifying that my ego is not so great that I think that My Subjective Take on the writing choices made or not made is the only one that matters. I mean, I don't intend to include the disclaimer as part of the actual tag and will mostly leave it as y'know, like, something IMPLIED, but the disclaimer still exists and thus counts. That's totally how that works.

And that's how I've chosen to awkwardly segue into the final intended-of-three post series.....Dramatically Abrupt Tonal Shift Ahoy!

This next part will get long, but I would truly appreciate it if you gave it a read despite its length and even if - especially if - the next topic isn't one you typically look for my take on, or even avoid my take on, because I don't think I'm likely to ever express my thoughts on this matter any more genuinely or directly than this. Like I'm not trying to guilt anyone or anything like that, its more I'm just trying to say if you ever read ANY single post of mine when it comes to the next topic or pick a post to base your decision on whether or not TO wade into something I have to say on this subject, I would appreciate it if you made that this next part here, as I think it best conveys where I'm coming from when it comes to most any post I make along these lines.

So. The thing is....most people who've followed me long know that in the past I've frequently been extremely vocal on topics of rape, incest and abuse, specifically through the lens of being a male survivor. These absolutely are personal for me. This has led to me having a lot of Overly Opinionated Takes on these topics and how they're talked about, depicted and treated within fandom conversations, fics, and social media spheres and conversations at large. I've also pretty obviously not posted on these topics nearly as much in recent years as I once did - but not because I feel any less strongly about them.

And that's one hundred percent because it's frustrating as hell to see a very good portion of the posts I make about any OTHER topic in my usual fandoms go on to accumulate hundreds of notes....while NONE of my posts on these topics ever break out of my direct circle of mutuals. I don't say it to be egotistical - look how many notes I get on stuff - I say it because its literally objectively factual, and the disparity is dramatic, and the disparity is a PROBLEM. Especially given how much the topics of male rape and abuse - in SPECIFIC - tend to be, within most of my past fandoms.

This disparity has a very clear reason for existing too: people have never been shy about citing that they refrain from reblogging or referencing my posts on these topics because they feel like I act like I'm the only opinion that matters on them, the sole authority to be listened to here, that I use my status as a male rape survivor as a cudgel, to shut down opposing takes or points of view.

Which I would totally be fine with or understand if not for the fact that I've always gone out of my way to express that I don't want or expect my opinions on these matters to be taken as anything other than my personal opinions born of my personal experiences, which I cite because they're relevant. I don't think that survivors should have to disclose their status or personal history or details in order to have their opinion heard on these topics, but I deeply resent how often survivors making the choice TO disclose their personal history or relationship with these topics in order to directly unpack how that informs our perspective....is weaponized AGAINST us, in order to shut down and discredit OUR takes even while literally accusing us of only disclosing in order to do the exact same thing to others.

Something that I've posted about a LOT in the hopes of getting it spread throughout fandoms that regularly talk about male rape is for literal decades I've seen people harp on about how men can be raped too, believe male survivors, don't believe the myth that men can't be raped, etc. Which like, I appreciate the sentiment, but the thing I've tried to express for years is that in my personal experience, and those of a lot of other male survivors I've talked to - this is not really the biggest or even ONE of the biggest issues most male survivors face.

And the fact that for all that there are many survivors in fandom who have made the difficult choice to be open about their traumas and recoveries - which I ALWAYS respect, as that is never easy for any of us - a huge part of why I've always made a point to disclose my own history as a male survivor is because there just flat out aren't a lot of perspectives from MALE survivors in specific, being circulated in pretty much any of the fandom spaces I've ever been in over the past twenty years. I don't even slightly think I'm any more of an expert or authority on topics of rape or abuse - beyond how they pertain to my own personal experiences - than any other survivor. But as long as the topic of MALE rape and abuse in specific, how men are affected by these things, how society reacts to us and treats us in the aftermath....as long as these are the topics explicitly being discussed.....I do think my perspective as a male survivor is pretty fucking relevant, and admittedly, I tend to get pretty heated about pushing BACK against attempts to invalidate it or shout it down as though I somehow have LESS of a stake in or right to be heard in these particular conversations. And I get how this has at times come across as attempting to dominate a given conversation.

But like.....I'm also going to point back up to the part where I said earlier....I'm an Overly Opinionated Asshole. I say it somewhat deprecatingly, for the lulz, but also not. I'm very passionate about conversations and topics I feel strongly about and I don't make apologies for it. And for the most part....this has NEVER stopped people from reblogging or liking posts I make about pretty much any other topic....despite me not really coming across that differently in most of them, compared to how I come across in most of my past posts on topics of rape and abuse.

See....I'm in complete agreement with everyone who emphasizes that rape isn't a gendered issue. That it can and does happen to individuals of any gender or identity. But the reason why I've always found the focus on 'remember that men can be raped too' more performative than helpful is because for almost twenty years, I've been posting on these topics in various fandom spaces and trying to express that in my personal experience, something that REALLY deserves to be talked about more is the fact that rape is not gendered. But rape CULTURE very much IS.

Like it or not, we live in a very gendered society still. While yes, men can be raped too.....for a number of reasons - most of them born of sexism and misogyny in specific - the conditions, catalysts and reasons for men being raped are NOT interchangeable with those at work in instances of women being raped, as an example. Because the way society treats men and women in pretty much EVERY situation is different. Similarly, the way society REACTS to men and women disclosing they've been raped is different. And so on and so on.

So 'remember that men can be raped too' has some basis in societal claims that men can't be raped or that rape IS a gendered issue....but not as much as I think most people tend to believe. And twenty years after I first started searching out perspectives of other male survivors in online fandom spaces, beyond just real world physical support groups, I'm STILL hearing 'remember that men can be raped too' dominating all conversations about male survivors just as regularly and repetitiously as it was twenty years ago....as though the world has not changed at all, and the needle on this particular facet of male survivorhood hasn't changed an inch in the past two decades when no, actually, it very much has.

The reason why I feel so strongly about offering up my perspective as a male survivor in a relative absence of seeing other male survivors' perspectives circulated is I honestly believe the reason this is so consistently upheld as the biggest problem facing male survivors is its a carry-over from women attempting to be heard and believed when disclosing....which makes sense and is completely understandable....as long as there's a complete absence of male survivors offering up any perspective that's to the contrary.

But the fact that we live in a gendered society where rape culture, not rape itself, still very much IS gendered due to being a product of....living in a gendered society....means that the differences in how society treats and reacts to men and women affects every aspect of how society treats and reacts to men and women survivors. And that starts with disclosure itself. In my personal experience - and fully acknowledging that I don't speak for any other male survivor in this moment, and I absolutely do believe there are those who have experiences to the contrary, and that matters too - MY experience, which also matters, is that not once in the twenty years since I've started disclosing about my own rape, or the csa I experienced as a child - have I actually had an issue being believed.

With full acknowledgment of how unfair it is, how gross, the reality of living in a sexist, patriarchal society where male privilege very much exists, is that while men can be raped too, this traumatic thing that happened to us does not in any way actually invalidate or negate our male privilege. It doesn't turn it off for the duration of our experience or any time its relevant to our experiences going forward. We carry that privilege with us through our recoveries and the rest of our lives just as much as we did before it, because its an inalienable result of being in a society that allocates privilege solely on the basis of being born a man who identifies and presents as a cis man (with respect to trans individuals having another axis of experience that very much differentiates all matters pertaining to rape culture, in comparison to cis men, just as much as in the case of cis women, albeit in different ways).

And the gross unfortunate reality of our society is that it ALWAYS prioritizes believing men over women, in all matters......especially cis white men like myself.

So the simple fact is....even the act of disclosure - and the likelihood of being believed when voluntarily choosing to share the information that we've been raped - means that a cis white man like myself does not receive the same reaction as most women receive when attempting to share that same information. Society preconditions a lot of people to be more receptive to taking cis white men at their word, comparative to affording anyone else that basic respect.

Getting people to believe me when I say I was raped has never been the issue for me that other individuals face.

But that doesn't mean that my disclosure doesn't result in issues for me.

Because while being raped never invalidated or negated any of my cis white male privilege, neither did having cis white male privilege negate the possibility of me being raped - OR the fact that society ALSO preconditions people to be really fucking shitty about survivors.

(Hell, ANY kind of living victim....with this also being very relevant to abuse survivors, survivors of physical assault, etc. Much like people can be overflowing with empathy for unborn children who can't offer up any take to the contrary to whatever people want to say "in defense or support of unborn children," only to turn around and cease caring about most of those babies the second they're born, people tend to be just as overflowing with empathy for deceased victims of abuse, rape, assault and the like....who, y'know, also can't offer up any take to the contrary of whatever they say or claim about what they WOULD want, what they DO deserve, etc. Present those same people with a living child or a living victim who can and DOES have an opinion that doesn't match what those people feel it SHOULD be? Watch attitudes shift VERY quickly, as allllll that empathy hurriedly flushes down the drain as though it was never there).

But the point is, my cis white male privilege is always here regardless. But that doesn't mean rape culture isn't shitty enough that it can't find a way to circumvent even that in pursuit of discrediting/invalidating/ignoring survivors, just like that privilege can be circumvented in order to create the situation where a man is raped in the first place.

Its just....the gendered nature of rape culture means HOW those attempts to discredit/invalidate/ignore male survivors manifests.....doesn't look the same as when it leads to just outright disbelieving other survivors when they attempt to disclose.

And that is how I can be listened to and reblogged on most any other topic, no matter HOW I go about presenting myself in those posts or conversations - ironically in no small part BECAUSE of my cis white male privilege - while only getting crickets when I post on these topics, BECAUSE people only choose THOSE posts to make my presentation or level of intensity a dealbreaker, and thus their very reason for ignoring anything I have to say there. Not because they don't believe me, but because the WAY I say it is too aggressive, too biased, too emotional, too intense....its an attack on their autonomy, an attempt to override whatever they previously thought or believed about the subject and just force them to adhere to my take.

Because the thing about living in a sexist, patriarchal society is.....that IS a thing that cis white men often do, and a lot of society is structured to make it easier for us to achieve this in most instances, frankly. This just happens to be a rare exception, because for a lot of reasons that would make this post even longer - and that again, I've often posted about before - upholding and reinforcing rape culture on a society wide level supersedes the usual focus on accommodating INDIVIDUAL cis white men in having their opinions heard and circulated.

I'm trying to be as frank as possible here about the intersection of privilege and experiences of being a male survivor because I don't believe its to anyone's benefit to be disingenuous about it, and I do think that it doesn't actually supplant the fact that male survivors do have just as much right - and NEED - to be heard and listened to about our experiences with rape and perspective there, and have those ACKNOWLEDGED, as anyone else.

Its just....the existence of privilege and how that differentiates most experiences in a gendered society matters, and thus.....it needs to be part of the conversation rather than just treating all responses to rape and survivors as agendered, just because rape itself can and does happen to people of all genders.

There's actually a fair amount to get into when it comes to differences in a lot of mens' disclosures vs womens' in my experience, but just as an extension of what I'm talking about here, one of the specific elements in my experience is that men often don't have a problem being believed about having been raped or abused.....but one of the predominant responses is society is heavily preconditioned to view male rape and abuse survivors as almost inevitably feeling they need to exert a similar power over someone else in order to claim back their own feelings of pride and safety in their masculinity. Effectively.....most every male rape or abuse survivor I've ever talked with at length shares a similar experience of being believed when they disclose about being a survivor....but noting a clear and direct shift in how whomever they disclosed to interacts with them....with EVERY expression of anger or outrage - particularly in the matter of their rape or abuse - being viewed as evidence of us being ticking time bombs who are inevitably primed to explode and take out what happened to us on someone else.

There's being cautious around cis white men, for example, because we're cis white men, which I totally get and am not expressing an opinion on. I'm just saying even with that acknowledged, there is a SHIFT in how people interact with me after I've disclosed to them personally, in how they....scrutinize me, for lack of a better way of putting it, in very noticeable ways and areas. Like its consistent. And think about how its not totally true that media doesn't portray men as being capable of being raped or abused, typically. Think about how often you've seen procedurals where the backstory of the rapist or abuser of the week is specifically THAT they were a rape or abuse survivor themselves, usually in childhood. Its NOT that society doesn't believe or accept that men can be raped too. Its that society is primed to default to viewing the very act of men being raped as an indicator of the shift from them being a man to being a man who is likely to become a predator themselves.

Rape appears all the time in regards to male survivors in media. Its just it usually just appears in the context of men who arent presented AS survivors, but rather as predators or aggressors themselves, and their past victimization treated as a catalyst rather than a trauma. This is not to excuse any such character or depiction of course, its simply to emphasize that the very angle from which male survivorhood is approached in most contexts is different from that of other survivors. Just like the angle from which their survivorhood is approached is different from that of male survivors. And thus the issue most men have with disclosing in my experience is NOT that we're afraid we won't be believed....its that we're afraid once we disclose, we'll be viewed as inherently more dangerous because our victimization primes us to be that much more likely to inflict ourselves on others in some attempt to reclaim our masculinity.

And its categorically NOT about any group of survivors having it better or worse than others, which is why I LOATHE people saying variations of 'you wouldn't say that about this if it happened to a woman' because anyone attempting to pit male survivors against other survivors en masse is NOT doing so for my benefit or with my endorsement. The point is just that each way society and rape culture interacts with a different group of survivors presents different problems and issues that need addressing, and aren't interchangeable.

There is a REASON why the subject of Dick Grayson's anger - usually in the context of things that have happened to him - is so important to me, specifically in terms of ensuring that its treated as something he's allowed to have....rather than an indicator that he's going to messily explode his life in a way that impacts everyone around him negatively.

Now.....if you've never considered that aspect of rape vs rape culture and how it can differently affect and shape the experiences and recovery of cis male survivors versus trans male survivors and nonbinary survivors and survivors who identify as women.....I ask that you consider what else my perspective might be able to add to actually productive, meaningful conversations about rape, rape culture and survivorhood, that you never would have thought TO think about before, without male survivors bringing it up based on it having played a role in personal experiences.

And then I just ask that you please think about the implications of someone known for being a vocal presence in certain fandoms, with a fairly sizable number of posts widely circulating throughout them......never having posts about male rape and survivorhood circulated to any noticeable degree, despite writing DOZENS of them, in all kinds of different moods, ways and intensity levels.....and all of them while active in fandoms where male rape is regularly discussed or focused on due to certain characters or storylines......and ask yourselves if it maybe seems a little off for the disparity to be THAT large. Again: I have written DOZENS of posts on this topic. All with less than twenty notes. I'll be composing a masterlist of them in the near future as well, but for now I'm just saying. Please just think about that.

While I'm going to make an effort to be more deliberate in how I approach this topic in posts going forward, tonally and in terms of word choice, I do have a right to be just as passionate about it as any other topic, and it is FUCKED UP to think that my personal experiences here should be pointed to as the very REASON I should need to be LESS passionate than I am anywhere else, in order to be heard or listened to. Still. I am not actually trying to override anyone else's viewpoint, present myself as some kind of ultimate authority, or shut down other survivors in any way....I'm just trying to uphold the relevancy and importance of adding my own perspective to the conversation.

I don't want to be the only voice listened to here. But as long as my voice is relevant, and I don't see or hear a lot of other voices speaking from a similar standpoint, I would like to be a RESOURCE on topics of male survivorhood, rape and recovery, from that particular standpoint. And even if and when other male survivors might perchance add their own perspectives with experiences and takes contrary to mine....I welcome that! Because mine is not the only one, cis white male survivors are no more a monolith than anyone else, and none of that will in any way actually invalidate my own perspective or experiences or render them no longer relevant at all.

Being a resource on a topic that has always been everpresent in most fandoms I've gravitated to - which has often been a reason FOR me gravitating to those fandoms in specific.....that has always been my ONLY goal with these kinds of posts. NOT an authority.

So, having my posts - which for all my willingness to write them, has never been easy for me and probably never will - reframed in such a negative way, dismissed and even weaponized against me - has over the years demoralized me and made it harder to find the energy TO tackle these topics, as much as I'd like to. But I do feel that I've found a second wind when it comes to this and think I'm ready to wade back into being Overly Opinionated on these topics as well.

So that's the third of the three post series I'll be starting, "Kalen vs Topics of Rape, Rape Culture and Survivorhood As Perceived Through A Singular Personalized Cis White Male Lens, Presented By (and With) My Middle Finger At Any Attempts to Subvert Or Undermine My Thoughts On Them By Reframing Them As Me Trying To Gatekeep Male Survivorhood No Matter How Many Times I Use The Words IN MY EXPERIENCE or IN MY OPINION, Which I Do A Lot, Because This Has Been Happening For A Very Long Time, And I Am Tired, But Still Very Opinionated, And Still Very Here, So Bite Me I Guess."

.....I'm still workshopping that one's title. Its a process.

ANYWAY. At the moment, I'm aiming to make one post of each once a month, and if I do more than that great, but not trying to pressure myself to do any more than that at the moment in the interests of Realism. We'll play it by ear. If I have more free time or energy than expected, maybe I'll do more. Its not like I have a shortage of Very Opinionated Opinions, after all. You've met me.

BUT I DIGRESS.

So in the interest of not making this long ass post any fucking longer, not that anyone really expected otherwise from my first post back in months, like could I REALLY even claim to ACTUALLY be back if all I had to show for it was some weak little lackluster drabble that wasn't even 3,000 words? Methinks the fuck not -

Well, have an abrupt and anticlimactic finish that comes out of nowhere despite giving myself literally 4,900 words to build to something appropriately profound or meaningful or whatthefuckever. Y'know. Your standard Kalen Classic. The abrupt and anticlimactic wrap up I mean, not the profound and deeply meaningful one. Eh. You get it.

Did ya miss me? I missed you!

PS - I was Informed that we are almost to the end of Tommy T's Tenure, is it almost safe to come back to Nightwing comics? Does anyone know when his last issue is? Have we planned the party yet? Who's on balloons, we definitely need balloons.

[cosmicdream222]

have you entered the void before?

I'm asking cause I've seen you post about it a bunch times with different methods to enter

Also, thank you for introducing me to the phase method! I'm using it and another method (one I created) to enter

Hey! Glad to hear the Phase has been helpful for you! Happy to answer your question, but it’s a bit more complicated than a yes/no answer and I’m feeling rambly today so you’re gonna get a whole backstory on how this blog came to be 😂

Backstory about me & this blog

I’d been in the personal development manifestation community since around 2016, and it was my life for a long time. But the kind of manifesting these people taught was basically like… wake up at 5am, work out, journal, meditate, shadow work, tarot cards, affirmations, cold showers, start a business, post no less than 10 times a day across your 5+ social media channels, and maybe if you hustle hard enough and cleared enough past life karma and Mercury isn’t retrograde, then the universe might grant your wishes... (if you don’t die of exhaustion first. 😅)

It really was a mess and realize now despite the facade of positive thinking and good vibes, the whole community really just keeps themselves identifying with lack & victim mentality so the coaches at the top profit off everyone else’s misery.

I believed in manifesting and had faith I would achieve my goals, but despite years of trying a million different things, only saw small or short-term successes and never seemed to get anywhere. I was feeling pretty burnt out and miserable, so summer 2023 I decided to stop trying so hard and just spend some time focused on myself and what I wanted. I went back to the two methods that I’ve always loved and had success with: affirmations and tapping.

I tapped every day and started making affirmation art and lockscreen wallpaper for fun. I posted the affirmations on Pinterest, which eventually lead me to finding affirmations pinned from tumblr. I think it was a screenshot from blushydior I saw at first, but her blog was deactivated by then. So I started stumbling around tumblr (around Aug-Sept 2023 at this point), where I eventually came across loa, the void, and shifting.

I was surprised because despite my extreme research into all things personal development & spiritual, I’d never heard of it. Although I’d read about quantum physics and more supernatural things, every coach/teacher had major limits. “Manifesting” only meant getting logical earth things like making 6 figures in your business through hard work and hustle so you can afford to travel and buy luxury cars & Chanel bags. Stuff like changing the past, waking up with all your desires, etc was absolutely impossible and not even talked about except “you can’t change the past”.

So having only heard about these incredible overnight life-changing manifestations from tumblr, I was skeptical and wanted more information. I basically started this blog to collect information from outside tumblr to prove it to myself and share with others. Which of course sent me down a rabbit hole of research and overconsumption and overcomplicating the void 😅

I did get kinda obsessed and throw myself into trying every shifting & void method I saw right away, which just left me frustrated with “failed” attempts. But I see now I was just repeating the same victim mentality from the old community - that everything had to be hard and a struggle, that I was a victim of circumstance and limited by a higher power. (This is also a really commonly held limiting belief in religion and society in general that affects many people.)

It took me more than a few months to realize, but I’m finally switching my default programming to that of a creator instead of a victim. Because I don’t want to be obsessed and put the void on a pedestal, I’m currently just working on my self concept that I am in control of my reality and can manifest whatever I want - with or without the void. I still do want to experience it of course, just want to make sure I’m going at it with a healthy mindset.

However!

About a week or two ago I read someone’s void success story that triggered a memory from many years ago: I realized I actually did wake up in the void and manifested something, long before I even knew what manifesting or the void was 😭 Because I’d always believed in supernatural things, I thought I had a “psychic dream” but now I know it was the void! (If anyone wants storytime I can make another post with more detail).

And since at the time, I entered without even knowing about the void’s existence, I realize we here or tumblr really do overcomplicate it. Like the video I posted where the void is described as the midway point between wake and sleep - it really is that simple!

I’ve noticed now that whenever I wake up naturally (not getting woken up by an alarm, outside noise, or cat jumping on me) I do always seem to wake up in the void. It’s the same kind of experience, and I don’t hear anything, but my first natural instinct when I wake up is to wonder where the sounds of my environment are. So I end up tuning in to my room and snapping out of the void.

I guess I just have to train myself to make my first thought an affirmation for my desires instead of just wondering where the sounds are 😅 But regardless, now I know it’s absolutely real and possible for me, I know it’s only a matter of time until I figure it out!

[serichan]

So, I have another fanart for you and some thoughts about the show. I stumbled upon some recs and comments, and I’m fascinated by how many different reactions it tends to bring out. It’s incredible. From love to hate and everything in between, it’s amazing. For me, it’s love. It’s really, really love—though maybe as a guilty pleasure, I think. But honestly, I don’t feel very conflicted about it.

What’s good?

• Visuals: Stunning. Absolutely stunning.

• Music: I’m addicted. It’s been on repeat for weeks now. A good thing my partner is used to my obsessions with music, or I swear they’d have killed me by now.

• Pretty boys: God, they’re pretty. They’re very young, but they’re so pretty.

• Shipping potential: Everyone is shippable. This is a ship fest, and I love it.

• Emotional turmoil: I loved how much it made me want to cry. That’s amazing.

• Characters: I mostly loved the characters here, with a few exceptions (we’ll get to that).

• Non-heteronormative ideas: I like this new approach to pushing these themes through censorship. Yeah, of course, it’s baiting, but it always was, even before the ban. And this new idea is fun—I hope it sticks.

• Polycule dramas: Yes, please. I love it.

• Zhu Yan: I love him.

• Zuo Yichen: I love him.

• Found family: I love it.

• Addictiveness: It’s so compelling.

This show has my heart, flaws and all. It’s such a ride. What do you think?

Two things I didn’t like:

1. Sexism:

Oh my god. The damsel-in-distress trope was unbearable. Wen Xiao started so strong, and then they just threw it all away. It was so frustrating! PJ was lovely, but the “big sister” trope is so overused. It feels like they push strong female characters into these traditionally “female” roles, and it’s tiresome. At least Beijing had her sapphic romance with Wen Xiao, which was cute, I guess. But still, I wanted so much more.

2. Timeline:

The timeline is nonsense. Absolute nonsense. Like, the stuff with Li Lan—when exactly did that happen? Eight years ago? How do they go from teenagers to older demons in eight years? It’s ridiculous. It breaks immersion because it makes no sense. I’d honestly rather they just didn’t give us any specific dates.

3. The Big Bad:

Oh, don’t even get me started. The villains were so bad. Every dramatic fight scene had the bad guy just standing there, letting them monologue for hours. Why? Who does that? Though, I will admit, I kind of enjoy this trope for the campy drama, but it still drove me crazy.

4. Over-the-top Torture Scenes:

The unnecessary torture of Zhu Yan was too much. He was already a deeply sad character, and we didn’t need the lightning scene or all the extra suffering. It felt cheap and overdone, like they were trying too hard to milk the angst.

5. Zhu Yan/Wen Xiao Romance:

This could’ve been good, but the idea that he knew her as a child? No, no, no. That’s creepy, and I hate it. Either lean into the idea of him being a parental figure, or scrap the “I knew you as a child” angle entirely. It’s unnecessary and off-putting.

6. Too Much Crying:

Wen Xiao spent way too much time crying on the floor. Can we please let her be a strong female lead? Why does she have to default to being a damsel in distress? She was so promising in the first episode, and then they just threw that potential away. It was infuriating.

7. The Wings:

I'm sorry, but I hated the wings. They looked cheap and... just stupid. I really couldn’t take them seriously.

Overall Love for the Drama:

That said, it might seem like there are more things I didn’t like than liked, but that’s not true. I freaking loved this drama. I’d give it a 9 out of 10. A strong 9. If I didn’t love it, I wouldn’t be spending all my free time writing fics for it! And believe me, I’m not usually a big fic writer. Though, to be fair, I mostly blame the fact that the cast is so bloody pretty.

Music Video Aesthetic:

Oh, one more thing I really loved—it looks like a big freaking music video, and I loved it! It was so aesthetically pleasing, such a visual feast.

Costumes:

Most of the costumes were stunning, though sometimes a bit over the top. I couldn’t stop laughing about all the dangly chain-knee things in the hair. I have long hair, and trust me—that’s a stupid idea if you want to move a lot. It’d get caught in everything. You’d need to be a magical being to deal with that nonsense. But, hey, it looked pretty and gave me lots of ideas!

Boys Crying:

The boys looked absolutely stunning while crying, and I had so much fun torturing them in my fics. Truly, they are too pretty, and I’m here for it.

Demon Costumes:

There weren’t too many over-the-top costumes in the demon sphere, which I appreciated. I don’t like all the plastic prosthetics and weird visual cues you see in dramas like Love and Game. It looks cheap. I much preferred the red glowy effects and face tattoos—they looked cool and suited the aesthetic.

Moral Greyness:

Maybe they leaned a little too much into the “white lotus” trope for the characters. I would’ve liked more moral greyness, especially for the Great Demon. He started off strong and morally ambiguous, but then he became too virtuous, and it got annoying.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, yeah, I loved it. These are just nitpicks. The visuals were gorgeous, the music was addictive, and the characters gave me so much inspiration. So, yeah, these are my very long, very jumbled thoughts about the drama. Please enjoy the fanart!

For my fics find me at

[jacobsnicket]

fictober prompt 16: "no, i'm not okay" | transcendence au | T

read on ao3

It starts with a headache, small but always present, pressing behind Phoebe’s forehead like there’s something trying to burst out. After the first couple weeks with it, she asks Dipper to check her brain in case there actually is something trying to burst out— hey, you never know. But he says there’s nothing, so she decides to just ignore it in the hopes that it’ll fade.

It doesn’t fade.

It gets worse, to the point that she can’t sleep, to the point that she’s squinting and covering her eyes every time she goes out because the light sends a searing pain straight to her skull. Mel’s starting to get worried by the amount of times per day Phoebe asks her for Tylenol.

Phoebe’s starting to get worried too, so one day she asks Dipper if she’s having migraines and if there’s any way to fix it.

“I’m not a doctor,” Dipper tells her. Then he snaps his fingers and suddenly he’s wearing a stupid little lab coat and stethoscope. “Now I am! Hang on, lemme take a look…”

“You’re not funny,” she says, laughing anyway. The laugh only makes her head hurt worse. “What’s the diagnosis, Doctor Dreambender?”

“Shush, I’m thinking.” Dipper puts his hand to his chin and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, a few seconds later, he looks almost scared.

“What is it?” Phoebe pauses, noticing his expression. “Oh stars, is it bad?”

Dipper takes a deep, slow breath. When he speaks again, it’s measured, stilted. “Good news. You’re not dying yet.”

“… okay. What’s the bad— wait, what do you mean yet?”

“I can’t just say you’re not gonna die! It’s not true! I just mean this isn’t gonna kill you.”

That is a concerningly small amount of information. “Okay,” she repeats. “Cool. So what is it?”

“Well, it’s not migraines. It’s this genetic thing, there’s this small mutation in your DNA— it’s actually really interesting, I knew mutations like this could happen, with the way magic’s become so commonplace these days, but I’ve never seen anything like it up close—”

She sighs and tries to tune out Dipper’s rambling. “Genetic, huh?”

“… yes. Your mother had it too. It was never a problem for her, but still...”

Phoebe thought she was past wishing she knew her parents. The idea that she could’ve had someone who understood, though, who had gone through everything she was going through, who might know how to fix it, was so nice that she couldn’t help it. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Is there like, a cure or something?”

“Nope,” Dipper says, popping the P.

“Really?”

“I’m sorry.” He looks like he means it. “All you can do is wait for the headaches to pass.”

Phoebe sinks further into her chair. “Well, how long will that take?”

”Hopefully, at least a few more months.”

“Months?”

“And then even after that, things are gonna be different for the rest of your life.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know.” She knows that Dipper doesn’t know a lot of things— I’m only omniscient-ish is a frequent refrain of his— but this time it doesn’t sound sincere. It sounds like he does know and he’s lying. Or like he does know and it scares him.

She collapses even further into her chair, letting herself groan. Mel always says a good groan makes everything feel a little better.

“You okay?”

Phoebe levels the best glare she can at him given her condition. “You just told me I have a rare incurable mutation that’s going to ruin my life. No, I’m not okay, genius.”

“I didn’t say it’s going to ruin your life.”

“Would you be able to, you know…” She does a little poof with her hands. “Fix it?”

“I… theoretically, yeah, but it’s not a good idea. It’d cost a lot.”

“Like a soul a lot?”

“I already have that, Bee.”

“Right, yeah.”

“I could try to get you something a bit stronger than Tylenol, though. Not too strong, but…”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

-

It doesn’t pass. It keeps getting worse. The pain seeps from her head down into her fingers, her toes. Her bones feel like they’ve been replaced with time bombs, like any second now they’ll explode and she’ll shatter. If she closes her eyes, she can almost hear them tick.

After a particularly bad day where she’s barely able to get out of bed, Mel carts her off to the ER and the doctors poke and prod at her before asking for a blood test. She complies, and after an hour, they tell her she has a genetic mutation, that it’s such a rare case they can’t tell what might happen to her, but it’s probably not terminal so it’s okay. She never thought Dipper would be lying, but it still feels strange to hear it from someone else.

They tell her, then, that this reaction could only be caused by prolonged exposure to a powerful source of magical energy, and ask if she’s had any exposure that she can think of. She says no.

-

Phoebe doesn’t know how to explain it. She’s just sitting on her bed a few months later, attempting her pre-algebra homework. One moment she is not burning. The next moment she is.

The next moment she’s squeezing her eyes shut, digging her fingers into the blanket, trying to feel something other than pain, pain, pain. She can’t. She can’t see anything other than red-golden at the backs of her eyelids, like when you close your eyes in the sun. She can’t even scream.

And then it winks out, and nothing hurts anymore.

[tryslora]

Hi

Do you have any advice on dialogue and how to make it flow?

I'm constantly stuck with "he said as he looked away"

"He smirked and replied"

It never feels flowy

I don't write fics I mostly write OC stuff so I have to build around my characters to really put them together.

It's just having my quiet and stoic character respond to the hyperactive pyromaniac is hard because one doesn't speak much and the other speaks too much.

Or when my other two characters are in the conversation it gets all messy and hard to keep up with who is talking and what they're doing.

Maybe I'm just blind to my own writing and don't see everything I want to see, yknow?

Hullo, Nonnie.

I’m so sorry for taking so long to reply to this question! Life has been… a particular form of chaos for the last couple of months, and I’m trying to wrangle all my tasks under control now. Which includes keeping up with responses and blogging!

ANYWAY. You’ve asked a really great question, and I’ll admit, I might struggle to answer it.

I’m one of those folks for whom the personalities come first—complete with dialogue patterns and habits—before I get descriptions, setting, plot, or oh… anything else… so breaking down how to best make your dialogue snappy and flow means taking a step back from what I do and looking at how I do it.

This is going to be a mix of advice from how I do things, and advice I’ve adopted and found useful from other writers.

First and foremost: there are two parts to creating natural, flowing dialogue. One is the dialogue itself—the words the characters choose, and how they come out—and the other is the description around it (such as the dialogue tags you reference in your examples). They have different focuses, but both are important to how the text flows.

I’m going to drop a caveat here first, because it’s my downfall: we, as humans (and uh, especially those of us with ADHD, *cough cough me*), have a tendency to repeat ourselves. We also um, ah, like, y’know, a lot. Some of this is fantastic in dialogue. Too much can change flow into drag. So. With everything else I say, please take that into account as well. When I’m editing, I have been learning to trim out the spaces where I am saying or doing the same thing multiple times in a few paragraphs. BUT. That’s the important part—it can ALL be fixed in edits!

Let’s talk words first. You say you have quiet and stoic character matched up with a hyperactive chatterbox (a dynamic I enjoy). And you’re right, this can be tough when the stoic character is like “grunt” or “mm” or “yeah” and there’s nothing else coming out. BUT. This is true to the character and gives great insight—in this case, the character’s actual dialogue is going to come from their actions. So, we’ll get to that.

The thing with the stoic character is that every word needs to mean something. Every word they say is going to be solid and important because they say so little. It might even be overloaded. I’ll admit, with this kind of character, I love writing from their POV because I can put the few words out into the open, but let them ramble inside their own head (which yes, can sometimes be like pulling teeth). I get that flow out of their thoughts more than what they say. The freebie story I drafted for my newsletter subscribers is an outtake missing scene from my next book written from the point of view of my (more) stoic character in the book, because I wanted to play with that myself.

For the chatterbox, I’m curious—do they talk so much in order to hide what they’re really feeling? I know most of my talkative characters are spilling everything in order to hide in plain sight. After all, if you’ve left every card on the table, no one can claim you’re hiding something. Even if you are leaving that one important thing out (keeping a last ace up your sleeve), no one will notice in the glut of other information.

One way to handle this is to have the stoic character really listen and pay attention to what’s underneath all the chatter. Let them respond to the one thing that really means something in the flow of words, which might stop your chatterbox in their tracks. Being seen/heard can be a shock for the kind of character who lets it all hang out.

Let’s get back to those dialogue tags and talk about actions. Every character (every person!) has body language that does a lot of the talking for them. If someone’s arms are crossed, they might be resistant to and idea, or they might be cold, or they might be trying to hold themself still. One of the things I’ve done is to roleplay my character through a scene—move like they move, fall into why they say what they say, and what they do when they are not saying something to hold back. What actions do they take, and how can I put that on the page? Not just movement, but also what do they smell/see, what’s going on inside their head, and all the why involved.

And here’s the thing: sometimes “He says” is a valid way to do it. It’s okay. Let the dialogue do its thing and don’t worry. Remember, you can add blocking later, if you need it. 

Here, quick example from one of my serialized pieces:

“I don’t feel like I can talk to Hannah.” Nevaeh scrunches up her nose. “God, no, I don’t mean that I want to be involved with her. Just. She was so weird about Stevie, and I think she might get even weirder if I asked Liz out. And I don’t know if Liz is even ready to do dating things. Or if she’s into girls! We’ve never talked about it. Why is it all so weird and complicated?” That’s one thing Pawel can answer. “Because humans are gloriously complicated beings, and we have a tendency to take even things that could be simple and overcomplicate them by worrying at them. Anxiety, intelligence, fear… they all make things feel big. And these questions are both very big and very small all at once.” “Because labels are helpful, but not necessary,” Nevaeh says. “Because they make it easier and harder all at once.” “Yes.” He’s not sure if she really gets it, so he adds, “Follow your heart.” “Is that what you do?” No, it’s not. Pawel has too many things to weigh before he can make any decisions. His career. The kids in his care. His own son. There are so many variables in his life, and he hasn’t had any chance to just leap after emotional responses. Not since Conor was conceived. Not since Chelsea first disappeared. “When I can.” He glances sideways at her, away from where Alanna and Jennie have finally stopped their game and are on the swings. “I’m glad you feel comfortable talking to me.”

This is a chatterbox teen talking to the guy her two dads are trying to bring into their relationship. And Pawel is a chatterbox as well, but he’s definitely the kind who will talk constantly in order to not say a lot of things, which is illustrated by letting him ramble internally in the final paragraph of the example.

Also, they’ve been given a setting where they are both somewhat distracted by two of Neveah’s siblings playing at the park, so they have something to do. If I were better, I’d have included things about summer scents, the sky, etc. etc. in the descriptions (they are my downfall).

If you look at the dialogue, you’ll see that the sentences are all over the place in length. Long ones, short ones, and ones that aren’t much more than fragments. I try to echo how people really talk, but avoid the pitfalls of things getting circular or buried in extra words (except Neveah says “like” a lot and it is absolutely on purpose).

One of the biggest things for me is being inside the head of the point of view character. Being able to hear the things they don’t say can really help when it feels like they aren’t saying anything, and you a build a whole story in those subtleties. Kind of like having subtitles that interpret what’s happening rather than what’s said.

If you have a lot of characters, it’s going to get confusing—90% of the book I excerpted above included multiple adults on screen and 7 or 8 kids. It was chaos. People talk over each other. In those cases a simple “Neveah says” is the easiest tag. Let them talk, and let the dialogue shine. And if characters have quirks, let those shine, too. If someone’s screaming about sugary desserts in that book, it’s probably Jennie—no need for an attribution. Growling is Leo. Finishing each others’ sentences are Emma and Conor. Spattered with “like” is Neveah. Little quirks and details are things you can hang a lot on.

And just to say… yeah, we’re all blind to our own writing. It happens. We are so close to our own words that it’s hard to see them as words anymore. I usually have to set something aside for months if I want to do a truly deep edit on it, because I need to see it as Not Mine first. Then I can be objective. Do you have a reader? Either an alpha cheerleader, or a beta you trust? That’s the best. They can tell you if they trip over something, or if something feels stilted. Or if you’ve had someone shrug six times on one page (I certainly do that, like, all the freakin’  TIME).

And in the end, less is more. It’s okay to strip things back and focus more on sentence length and how words taste in your mouth if you read them aloud. It’s okay to write just the conversation first, then figure out how they move around each other while talking. It’s okay to write the blocking first, then fit the dialogue around that. Sometimes stepping back to one piece of the puzzle helps the other one shine in your mind’s eye.

I’ve rambled a lot, and I’m not sure if this is what you were looking for. And uh, again, I’m sorry how late this response it. I really hope you are still here and see this!!

Best of luck with your words, Nonnie. And remember: whatever you write today, that’s another step on your writing journey. It’s okay to delete them, edit them, love them, put them in a box for later… whatever you want to do. Just write them, and tomorrow write a little more. Even if this isn’t your final book, pieces of it will come back in another way later. I’m currently writing “fic” of people I’ve been building over the last uhhh thirty or so years. 

Enjoy your characters and your stories. And remember, everything comes with time. Keep writing, and keep learning. You’ve got this!

[aurea-corde]

the end

It went like this. I hear mum crying before I see her. A stone settles in my stomach because I know what has happened. "She's gone," she tells me, voice strained from the tears. "I've had this terrible feeling all day, but I wanted her to wait for me. I didn't get to say goodbye." I tell myself to be strong for her, but tears are already streaming down my face. Mum had booked her flights for the next morning, was supposed to be with her. Just one more day.

I message my sister that we have news about our aunty. I call her. She doesn't pick up. Minutes pass and I can hear mum trying to hold her voice steady in another room as she tells her siblings that their eldest sister is gone. A few people call her to say how sorry they are to hear the news. She thanks them and reassures them she is okay, it just happened, it was all so sudden but at least she went peacefully. My sister calls me back and I feel unable to form the sentence. I stutter through something like "She's gone, it just happened, we don't really know the details." She tells me that she has had a terrible feeling in her chest since this morning. I tell her that mum had a feeling too. She asks if she can talk to mum, so I put her on speakerphone and find mum sitting still at the edge of her bed. She is crying more than I have seen her cry since her father passed. My heart is breaking and I cling to her, to comfort her, to comfort myself. I don't know what else I can do. "I wanted her to wait for me," she repeats. "I said to her, 'Jie, please wait for me.'" We hear a sniffle over the phone. "Oh mum, I'm sorry," my sister says, and I can hear that although she has been unable to cry since we first heard our aunty was unwell, I know she is crying now. My sister offers her help, her support, anything she can do for the family from Sydney until she gets on the plane. In the past week alone, she has bought her first apartment, taken on a mortgage, heard the news about our aunty's stroke, been offered a new job, and now our aunty has passed. I think she has always been the more emotionally resilient out of the two of us, some combination of her inner emotional intelligence and being the oldest child. Mum is flying out this morning, my sister will join her in a couple of days. I am stuck here, immune system too weak to risk travel, not wanting to stress out my relatives even more by giving them one more thing to worry about over there. A psychologist that works with the hospital immunology clinic has booked me in for a couple of days' time. The timing obviously could not be better. I slept only a few hours last night. My muscles are holding so much tension and I can't seem to physically get them to relax. I find myself crying sporadically as I write this. I didn't plan on writing all of this, but I think I need to. I need to acknowledge what's happened, that this is happening. A terrible storm of circumstances has hit the family. We have already lost two people this year, and our aunty is the third. Dad has offered his version of condolences in the family chat, it is about as insensitive as I might expect but also not as insensitive as I feared. His family wasn't really a family and still isn't. He nearly didn't attend his sister's viewing earlier this year before she was cremated. Mum and I talked him into it the day before the viewing. I don't know that he can comprehend how much mum's side of the family love each other, how bonded we all are. Mum and her sisters all gather at one of their houses every Sunday just to chat. It was the dying wish of my grandma, before my sister and I were born, that they all spend time together. My cousins and I go for dim sum, go for karaoke, travel together, help each other prepare for weddings, for funerals. Mum once told me that our ancestors would have lived communally in a big compound of sorts, different generations of the same clan in one structure. Some of my cousins and I are in different cities, but we all refer to the extended family as the [last name] clan. I'm glad most of them are able to fly out to where my aunty lived, that they'll be together. Condolences have been given, help has been offered, shoulders have been cried on. For the family members like myself who have to stay here, we have to keep going. It happened, it is happening right now, and we have to keep going anyway.

[ironwitchau]

So, hello. I'm alive. Before I get started, this is a minor project I've been working on because the brain rot has been... intense. I'll probably also post this to ao3 at some point with some more edits, so if you see it here first and then on ao3 it might be worth a re-read. Idk. Anyway, here's a one shot of an AU that immediately took over my brain and refused to let go. If you see any typos, no you didn't.

The Beast in the Woods:

It was the closest thing to a normal morning as one could get on the TARDIS. Mostly because things like ‘normal’ and ‘morning’ weren't relevant on the TARDIS. But things were calm in the alien ship, and Rose Tyler had just finished a human’s average sleep cycle and stepped into the control room where the Doctor fiddled with the panel, readying the TARDIS to leave the vortex.

They went about their usual banter for the day, if not a little more strained than in days past. The Doctor couldn't really blame the human though. She had been more… restrained after their visit to 1987 London. But anyone would be if they had just watched a member of their family die, even though they tried so hard to save them. So he tried not to think too much about Rose being quieter than he was used to. There was a moment of silence between them as the Doctor debated on where to take them. He was pondering taking her to the universe’s largest library when Rose gave a suggestion.

“We should go on vacation.” She said, leaning against the railing.

“Vacation?” He repeated. Because, was she not already on vacation? A break from her mundane little life in the estates?

“Yeah,” she smiled that one smile, the one where her tongue stuck out just a little, “take a break from all the danger.”

The Doctor hummed. He quite liked the danger. Danger made life interesting, danger meant he could help others. Danger meant he could fix his broken promise. But humans were different, he had reminded himself. No matter what, humans couldn't run forever the same way he could, couldn't keep going head first into the life threatening situations with the same ease he did.

“There’s this great spa planet in the 31st century.” He told her, already moving around the console. “I’ll set course for a few years before it gets popular, avoid the crowd-”

“No. I don't want any aliens.” He tried not to take offense at that. “No distant futures either.”

“What do you want, then?” The Doctor huffed.

Rose moved closer to him. “Someplace where nothing happens. No alien threats, no experiencing a historical moment. Just a place to relax.”

“Sounds boring.”

“Exactly.”

Fine, if Rose wanted boring, he’ll give her boring. Although, as he thought over the given criteria, she never said anything about the place having history. A grin found its way onto his face as the Doctor danced around the control panel.

---

Luz Noceda decided that she hated Gravesfield, Connecticut. For one, it was a small town and incredibly boring. Even worse, it was a small town where everyone knew everyone and everything. People stared at the Nocedas, whenever the family went anywhere, like they were about to commit a crime or something.

Then, there was how Grandpa couldn't move with them. Back home, Grandpa would come over for family dinners every Friday night, where he would put Luz to bed and tell her stories about when he was young. Now, he lived 3 hours away and, even though her parents promised they would still visit, Luz hadn't seen Grandpa at all in the month since they moved there.

Although, Gravesfield’s biggest offense against her was it took her Papi from her. Sure, he was busy back home as an ambulance driver, but he still had time for her and Mami. He would spend his weekends with them, doing whatever they wanted. Now, days he weren't working were spent at the big fancy hospital that was nearby. Luz really did try not to be bitter about it, the hospital was supposed to help Papi get better, but she missed how her family was before they moved.

Luz was contemplating calling Grandpa as she walked down the empty streets. It was still summer, maybe she could convince him to come pick her up and take her home. Mami would probably be mad but Grandpa said it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Besides, Mami and Papi had talked about having her live with Grandpa before the move. They didn't know Luz was listening in on them at the time and they ultimately decided not to, but maybe it was still an option.

She took out her phone, a flip phone because Mami and Papi said she wasn't ready for a phone phone, and had gotten to her contacts when she heard it. The sound was hard to describe, a mix between a ‘whoosh’ing sound and a ‘vroom’ was the best she could think of. The curiosity she felt was overwhelming, so she really couldn't be blamed.

She ran up the street, just barely putting her phone away safely, to find the sound’s source. It had ended when she rounded the corner and all she found was a blue box, a few feet away. Luz was about to keep moving, when two people stepped out of the box.

The first person was a man with dark brown hair and blue eyes. He had large ears that seemed to stand out more thanks to his buzz cut. He wore a battered black leather jacket, a dark colored V-neck, dark pants, and boots.

The second was a blonde woman, who seemed much younger than the man, with brown eyes. She wore a plain white shirt, a pink jacket with a hood, faded jeans and sneakers. Luz wasn't sure how the two could be wearing jackets, considering it was on the warmer side today. She pushed those thoughts aside as the two began talking.

“Gravesfield, Connecticut, 2015.” The man said, stressing the year the same way Mami did when Luz got the date wrong. Then there was his accent, while similar to some she had heard, it didn't sound quite American to her. British, maybe?

“And what happens?” The woman asked with a similar accent.

“Absolutely nothin’.” He told her. “Gravesfield’s ‘bout as borin’ as it gets.”

“Fantastic!’

Luz frowned. She didn't understand why someone would want boring. Boring was the worst. It was just so… boring! No, Luz would much rather adventure.

She was going to listen in more, maybe even go up and ask them questions (like who on Earth would want boring), when her phone rang. She took out her phone to find ‘Mami Calling’ in bold blocky words staring up at her. She slid back around the corner and answered.

“Mija, where are you?” Mami asked as soon as the call connected. “It’s almost dinner time.”

Shoot. She hadn't realized it was that late. Although, in her defense, it was hard to see the phone’s clock with the numbers so small. “Sorry, Mami, I got distracted.”

She heard Mami’s exasperated sigh. “Just hurry back, ok?”

“Ok!”

With the blue box and strange people forgotten, Luz made her way back to the house.

---

In the dead of night, a loud roar echoed through the quiet town of Gravesfield. Most people ignored it, slept right through the disturbance, but three people tensed. One was a little human girl that had woken up to get water. The other two were time travelers, an alien and his human companion, who were on their way back to their spaceship.

“Maybe it's a bear?” The girl from 2005 suggested.

The Time Lord shook his head. “That was no bear.”

---

Luz stood just outside the forest near the house. The sound from last night sounded like it came from here and it terrified her. Because what the heck could make that noise? No animal that Luz knew of, and Grandpa made sure to teach Luz about all kinds of wild animals while Mami did the same for pets.

She could still run, get back to the house and pretend nothing was wrong. What could she do anyways? She was just a little kid.

“Sometimes you've got to do the scary things, because it means protecting your family.” Grandpa’s words echoed in her head.

If she left this alone, whatever it was, there was the chance it could leave the forest and enter the town. What would it do to the people? Would it leave them alone or attack? Would Mami and Papi be in danger?

That thought alone spurred Luz to grab the largest stick she could find, giving it a swing. She wouldn't let anything hurt her family. She would be like Grandpa and protect them. She marched into the woods. Thunder rumbled over head as storm clouds seemed to swirl and a cold breeze tried to make her shiver.

Luz came to a stop as she came across an old house. It was a, clearly abandoned, two story house with white walls and a brown roof that had a large hole in it. The door was in the middle of two broken windows to either side of it. There were four pillars at the front of the porch, acting as support. The stairs up to the porch were worn from years exposed to the elements.

Luz had never seen this place before. Then again, Luz hadn't gone this deep into the woods before. She turned to keep moving, when she saw it. The creature.

It was big, maybe the size of a bear or car, and had an animal body with a horrifyingly human face. It had completely black eyes, grayish yellow sharp teeth and long orange fur protruding from equally long, pointed ears. Its body was covered in burnt orange fur, or maybe those were feathers, and it had two dark brown wings and black feet that resembled a bird of prey’s.

Luz yelped and stumbled back, to put more space between the two of them, as she raised her stick. Ok, so maybe this wasn't her best idea.

---

The Doctor was a bit too confused to really listen to whatever Rose was going on about. He just didn't understand why something was happening now and here. The only truly eventful thing that was supposed to happen in Gravesfield should have already happened in the decades following the town’s founding. The town takes part in the witch trials and two brothers go missing, that was it.

But now, they had some strange creature making a ruckus, which led the two time travelers to the edge of a forest.

“There’s a residential area nearby.” Rose pointed out.

“The Wittebane cabin should be in there.” The Doctor said in response.

“Why are we checking a cabin?” She asked.

“‘Cause it’s thought to be a hot spot of weird things.” There and the old graveyard but that place was flooded so it was easier to check the cabin first. Honestly, he was doing Rose a favor.

“Do we really need to do this? Might not be anythin’ at all.”

As if to prove her wrong, a shriek emanated from the forest. It sounded young, and that was all the Doctor needed to know to start running. He didn't even bother to look if Rose was following him, he just ran.

The shriek led them to, what the Doctor was sure was, the Wittebane cabin. A large creature had cornered a child on the cabin steps. The child held a jagged stick in one hand and looked terrified.

“Rose!” The Doctor turned to his companion to see her bent down and picking up a rock.

“On it!” she told him.

The Doctor was on the move again. He was about halfway there when the rock flew by him and hit the creature. Rose must have a good arm because there was an audible thud and the creature reared back. The Doctor took his chance to scoop up the child and kept running. Rose would catch up to him, he was sure. He held the child to his chest, their chin resting on his shoulder.

He didn't know how long they ran for, only that he stopped when he came across another clearing near a small stream of water.

“Are you ok?” He asked as he put the kid down.

“Mhm.” The kid looked up at him in awe before seeming to analyze him. He took a chance to do the same to them.

He didn't trust his knowledge of human ages enough to guess but they were definitely young. They were tan-skinned with brown eyes and dark brown hair that went down to her shoulders. They wore a pink short-sleeved collared shirt with a blue overall skirt on top and a pair of muddy yellow rain boots. The child seemed fine with the exception of a small scrape on their right knee.

“Good. That’s good.” He sighed. The scrape might not have anything to do with the creature, could just be a consequence of them being young. The child stared into his eyes intensely.

“You looked like my Grandpa.” They said suddenly.

They said it so suddenly all the Doctor could do was let out a meek, “What?”

Because what? What did they mean he looked like their grandpa? That shouldn't have been possible, he hadn't even been thinking about the earth or a person when he regenerated into this face. No, he had been thinking of war, regrets, and how badly he never wanted another travesty on par with the Time War.

Sure, there was always that small possibility that there was a human out there that looked like any of his faces but running into their family was less likely. And the possibility percentage just kept lowering as he narrowed it down in time.

There was only one person out there who could recognize him as a grandfather, someone who’s mere mention of a thought of them could cheer him up, no matter how grumpy his face was. Susan, his actual granddaughter. Susan, who always seemed to recognize him.

But the Doctor wasn't even sure if Susan was still out there. Much like himself, Susan got called back to Gallifrey at the start of the Time War, and, even though he had tried his best to keep them away from her, she answered them. The last time he had seen her, in his 8th face, where she had been running from Daleks and he dropped her off on Kasterborous, was still during the war, before The Moment. He didn't know if she was still on Gallifrey, fighting in the front lines like himself, when he ended it all. By the end of the war, he was too scared to go look for her. If she had, could this young child be her? It wouldn't be surprising if she regenerated. They all did, eventually. But would she really have regenerated so young?

“Yeah,” the child continued as if she wasn't causing him an internal crisis, “you have the same look in your eyes that Grandpa has.”

“Oh.” The Doctor wasn't sure if he should be excited or disappointed. On one hand, they weren't Susan but on the other, they weren't Susan.

“I’m Luz.”

“I’m the Doctor.”

“Doctor who?”

The Doctor couldn't help but smile at that. Such a response never got old.

“Doctor!” Rose ran up to them and had to take a moment to catch her breath. “We need to get out of here, that thing wasn't too far behind me.”

The Doctor and Luz looked in the direction Rose came from and, sure enough, there was the creature. It stood at the edge of the clearing, glaring at them, but not moving.

“Why isn't it attacking?” He thought out loud.

“What?” Rose turned to look at the creature. “It's just standing there.”

“But why?” There was no reason as to why it wouldn't attack. The three were just standing there.

“Could we maybe figure that out somewhere away from the giant thing that wants to kill us?” Rose tried.

“I suppose.” No matter how much the Doctor wanted answers, there was a child with them. He couldn't put them at risk like that. He turned to Luz. “Let’s get you out of here.”

“But what about the monster?” Their voice wavered enough that he knew they were scared.

“Me ‘n’ Rose’ll take care of it. No need to worry.” The Doctor picked Luz up and help them to his hip.

“Yeah,” Rose chimed in, “we do this kind of stuff all the time.”

“Really?” Luz looked at them with child-like wonder.

“Yup! So you can go home, watch some telly and leave this to us!”

It was rather easy to get Luz back home after that.

---

It was when they had made it to her house that the thought occurred to Luz.

“What if it was protecting its home?” She asked, her keys left in the lock.

“What?” The blonde, Rose, looked confused.

“Yeah! Mami says that some animals react poorly to people in their home.” Luz snapped her fingers together. “She said they were terri- terr- terre-”

“Territorial?” The Doctor suggested as she struggled with the word.

She pointed at him. “Yeah, that!”

“That is a possibility.” The Doctor agreed.

“But then, what is it?” Rose crossed her arms.

“It definitely doesn't originate from Earth.” The Doctor said instead of answering.

“Like an alien?” Papi would be so jealous if it was and she saw it before him. He loved anything to do with space.

“Most likely.”

“Pretty mindless for an alien.” Rose quickly added, “Compared to the ones we’ve seen.”

“You've met aliens?!” Now she was a little jealous. Meeting aliens sounded so cool.

The Doctor chuckled at Luz and patted her head. “And you have too.”

“Oh, yeah.” She guessed if the creature was an alien, she technically had met an alien.

“As for the creature, it's likely around the same level as Earth’s wildlife.” The Doctor told Rose.

“Does that mean those animal cop people can take care of it?” Of course Luz didn't know if Gravesfield had those but they should, right?

“Ya mean Animal Control?” The Doctor asked and Luz nodded. “I doubt it. They dunno what it is.”

“Do you, Doctor?” Rose repeated.

He shook his head. “I've never seen a species like that.”

“Wouldn't be the first time.” The blonde sighed. “Can you figure out where its from? Like with the Slitheen?”

“Slitheen? Is that a kind of alien?”

“Maybe if we went over what we knew.” The Doctor shoved his hands into his pockets.

“If you're gonna do that now,” Luz turned the keys in the lock and opened the door, “would you like some chips?”

“God, I would love chips.” Rose gave a toothy smile.

---

Turned out Rose did not love chips, Luz found out as she dumped a few of the small chip bags Mami sometimes gave her for snacks.

“What are these?” Rose asked, sounding a little offended.

“Chips.” Luz took one of the bags for herself. She halfheartedly hoped that Mami wouldn't notice the two extra missing chip bags. She, also, really wasn't supposed to have people over without a family member there.

“These aren't chips.” She said, taking a bag and holding it out, as if Luz didn't know what was in her own house. “These are crisps.”

“What are crisps?” Luz asked genuinely.

"These!"

"But those are chips."

Rose was about to say something when the Doctor raised a hand.

“Rose, remember, this is America. Crisps are chips here and chips are fries.” He took a bag as a light bulb turned on in Luz’s mind.

“Oh! You wanted fries? I’m pretty sure there’s some in the freezer I could make.” She then added after a moment. “But someone will have to turn on the oven. And put them in. and take them out. And turn the-”

“It's fine, Luz.” The Doctor patted her head. “The crisps work. Right, Rose?”

“Yeah, was just a bit confused.” The blonde gave an apologetic smile.

“Ok!” Luz opened her bag.

“So,” The Doctor put his bag back down, “what do we know?”

“It walks on all fours?” Luz tentatively offered, a chip in hand.

“Right, that narrows it down some.” The Doctor nodded. “What else?”

“It’s big.” Rose said. “Maybe the size of a bear?”

“Narrows it down. What else?”

“It's that terri-thingie.”

“Territorial.” The Doctor corrected. “Narrows it down. What else?”

“It's got wings.”

“Narrows it down.”

Luz looked into her chip bag. Only crumbs were left. She shrugged, lifted the bag to her mouth, and shook it.

“The face looks human.” Rose added.

“Narrows it down.”

“It’s light sensitive.” Luz flattened her now empty bag.

“What?” The Doctor straightened.

“How do you know that?” Rose asked.

“It’s eyes.” Luz grabbed some stray papers and a pencil that were used to make grocery lists. She made a quick drawing of the creature’s face the best she could. She filled in the eyes completely. “They're all black. Grandpa told me that animals with these kind of eyes are sensitive to lights, so they only come out at night or on really cloudy days.”

“Why does your grandpa know that?” Rose asked.

Luz shrugged. Neither Papi or Grandpa really ever explained how Grandpa came to know such things. Luz asked once about it and then didn't ever again when Grandpa got a far away look in his eyes.

“That’s really helpful, Luz.” The Doctor told her. “Maybe this way, we can deal with the creature without causing too much injury.”

They kept talking, trying to figure out where the creature came from, with varying success. They didn't have too much to work on, which according to the Doctor made it hard to really figure out where the creature came from. That being said, the Doctor was confident he had enough information to try and deal with the creature.

“So, what are we going to do now?” Luz dusted her hands after throwing away three empty chip bags.

“Me ‘n’ Rose are gonna deal with the creature and you stay here to watch some telly until your mum and dad come home.” The Doctor said firmly.

“But I can help!” Luz argued.

Rose bent down, so that she was eye level with Luz, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Look, Luz, what we do can get dangerous. And the Doctor just doesn't want you to get hurt.”

Luz huffed and crossed her arms. “I found it! I should be able to help you.”

“And you have!” Rose looked to the Doctor.

“If not for you, we wouldn't know about the eyes.” He told her. “And that alone is a massive detail that changed things.”

She pouted at them but stayed quiet.  Rose pulled her into a hug, which Luz returned despite her annoyance. It was nice. The blonde pulled away and gave her a smile. “Everything’ll be ok.”

“I know.” Luz tried to hide her resentment at that phrase. She had heard it a little too much recently.

The Doctor gave her shoulder a squeeze and then the two left. Luz watched as they made their way back into the woods and wished she could join them on their adventures. It would be a nice break from dull, boring Gravesfield. Then Luz remembered the blue box that was too small to comfortably hold two grown people. She barely waited before running out the door to act out her impulsive thoughts.

---

Luz made it to the box and took it in. It was a dark blue wooden box with dirty yellow windows. Near the top of the box was a black sign with ‘Police Public Call Box’ in white. The worn white sign on the left door with a bunch of stuff Luz really didn't care about. The most important thing was the ‘Pull to Open’ at the bottom of the sign.

She pulled the door open and had to blink. Luz stepped into the box and stopped about where the box would have ended. Unsure, she took another step, expecting to run into a wall or something. That didn't happen. Nothing stopped her.

“Magic box!” Luz gasped and ran around the room.

The best way Luz could describe the inside was, having a coral theme, with coral support beams. The walls were colored gold and had small hexagonal impressions. There was a raised platform in the room’s center with some kind of six-sided console filled with so many random devices Luz wasn't sure what to mess with first.

Luz had to smack her cheeks to bring herself back into focus. She came here because she wanted the Doctor and Rose to take her on an adventure, like what they denied her. She was sure the box belonged to them and so she’d use it to ambush them into taking her. To do that, she needed to hide.

Too bad Rose and the Doctor took longer than Luz originally thought. By the time they got back, Luz had fallen asleep in her hiding spot.

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Running on Spite and Fumes by Amber McLain

Written for the Phic Phight Prompt: Wes decides to investigate one of Danny's rogues (from @bookhoard)

AO3 Link

[Warnings from past character death (Ember) and fire]

Wes was just about ready to throw in the towel. No matter how many times he said it, no matter how much evidence he provided, no one was ever going to believe that Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom were one and the same. He'd been trying to show people for almost two years now with nothing at all to show for it. Maybe the time had finally come to give up the ghost and direct his efforts toward something else.

He sat behind and to the left of Danny in physics class. That half-ghost bastard was chugging ectoplasm out of a clear water bottle without a care in the world and nobody but Wes thought there was anything suspicious about that. Not long ago, Wes would have practically thrown a fit over it. Shouted, and pointed, and demanded, "Are none of you seeing this!?" but he didn't today.

Even when Danny turned around to make direct eye-contact with Wes, specifically to antagonize him, he didn't take the bait. "You know what, Fenton?" he said. "You win."

Danny blinked in surprise and put down his water bottle. "What?"

"I said, you win," Wes repeated. "Fuck you, obviously, but I give up. I'm not wasting any more of my time. My reputation has taken enough of a hit already. I'm moving on to newer, better things."

Danny scoffed and leaned on his hand, shooting Wes a mildly amused and thoroughly unconvinced look. "Like what?"

"Like, you know," Wes hadn't really thought about it yet, but he'd be damned if he was about to admit it to Danny. "Ghosts that are actually cool!" he spat. "Like Ember! Phantom is old news. I'm gonna figure out who she is, or—was."

"Right, sure you are," Danny rolled his eyes and turned to face the front of the classroom again, grumbling, "Good luck with that," under his breath.

Wes scowled. He'd just made that up on the spot because he hadn't wanted to admit to Danny, of all people, that he didn't actually have a plan, but now he really was gonna do it. How hard could it be to figure out who a ghost was before they died, anyway?

As it turned out, the answer to that question was 'really fucking hard.' Wes had basically nothing to go on except her song. He ran his personal recording—yes he had a copy of it. Mind control aside, it was a good song!—through every music identification app and program he could find and came up with zip. Either she'd written that song after she died, or she was one of those ghosts that formed in the Ghost Zone and only seemed like a normal ghost, or she was such an obscure indie artist when she was alive that no one... remembered her.... Oh.

That would explain her obsession. Ghosts often became obsessed in death with things they wanted or fantasized about when they were alive, but never got. Finally, Wes had a thread to pull on. He went online, surfing indie music forums, the more obscure the better. He posted the same message in tons of different places.

Does anyone recognize this artist? Her name is Ember McLain, but I can't can't find anything about her anywhere! <remember_ember.mp3>

Usually it was buried right away. No one recognized the song, or no one cared. Several times he got made fun of for having to ask who an artist was, even though no one else on the forums knew her either. It was a few days before he got an actual worthwhile response, but he did get one, which broke the case wide open.

Could you mean *Amber* McLain? The music sounds similar to hers, but I guess she's pronouncing her name weird to make the rhyme work.

She's from my hometown, and I saw her perform a couple small gigs at local clubs and stuff, but don't expect her to drop any new singles any time soon. She died like eight years ago.

Bingo. That was definitely something Wes could work with.

It might be. What town? Do you happen to have any more of her music?

The response came several minutes later.

Milton, Washington. And it took me a while to find the songs, but yeah. She only had the one album, 5 songs on it, and she wasn't bad, so I bought it at one of her shows. <running_on_spite_and_fumes.mp3> <homegrown_arson.mp3> <the_curse_of_adolescence.mp3> <feather_heavy.mp3> <daddy_never_loved_you.mp3>

Wes started downloading the files before he responded.

How'd she die?

This time the answer came right away.

Mid-show, the venue caught fire.

One of the amps blew and everything went up in flames. The back door was blocked, I guess, and she was trapped on stage, never made it out. Like six or seven people died in that fire, it was a big deal for a while.

Burned to death in a concert venue, huh? Wes considered Ember, her flaming hair, the way she was dressed, the spectral guitar she could summon and dismiss at will. That would totally make sense.

Once the music downloaded, he listened to the first song. The lyrics weren't nearly as self-absorbed as "Remember Ember", but the sound was the same. It was distinctly her music, her voice, her playing guitar. It was her sound, from before she'd died. Wes could hear her inhaling at the end of a lyric, could hear her voice catch the way a ghost's voice couldn't.

This is her! Thanks so much for helping me find her! Sucks to hear she died, but at least I could hear a little more of her music.

This had been the breakthrough Wes needed.

Yeah, no problem man! Thanks for reminding me about her. The new song is a bop!

Grinning triumphantly, he printed out that forum exchange for his evidence folder. He knew who she was now. All he had to do was find some more evidence of her life. It wouldn't be all that easy to do when all of that evidence was in a small town in Washington state she'd never made it out of, but Wes was never one to shy away from a challenge.

Ember would probably be happy to hear that she did have at least one fan when she was alive. Not to mention, Wes would make an absolute killing burning CDs with all of Ember's songs from before she died and selling them at school. He finished downloading the files and burned one CD for his folder right away.

The next order of business would be scouring newspapers for articles about her. No matter how obscure the musician was, dying in the middle of a performance when the venue burned down was all but guaranteed to make the news, at least regionally. It took weeks to find even a single article, but eventually he tracked one down.

Six die in tragic bar fire in Milton.

The article contained details about the fire, the bar, the cause, and the victims, including photos of them. One of them, the performing musician, Amber McLain was the spitting image of Ember, stage makeup and all, even the guitar she was pictured with was exactly the same as Ember's.

He'd found her.

He'd really, truly found her.

Wes printed out the article. After a little more digging on the bar that had burned down, he also found a scan of a promotional poster for Ember's show that night, and he printed that out too. He slipped those, along with the CD he'd burned, and the printed out forum exchange, into a folder to bring to school.

"Guess what, Fenton, you asshole? I fucking did it!" Wes hollered when Danny walked into physics class.

"Did what?" Danny asked with a scoff. "If this is about proving I'm Phantom, I thought you said you gave that up."

"We both know you're Phantom, and I did give up proving it, but this isn't about that." Wes slapped the folder down on top of Danny's desk and dug his portable CD player out of his backpack. "Read it and weep, fucker. Not only did I figure out who Ember was before she died, I also got my hands on all five tracks of the only album she released while she was still alive." He put the CD into the player and turned it on.

The opening riff of "Running on Spite and Fumes" started playing from the portable player's single, shitty speaker, but the moment she started to sing, Ember's voice, or rather, Amber's voice was unmistakable.

"Holy shit, you actually did it," Danny said under his breath, looking down at the contents of the folder, his expression a mix of awe and horror.

"Is that a new Ember song?" asked Star from the front row.

"Actually, it's an old Ember song," Wes responded smugly. "I tracked down her real identity and got my hands on everything she released before she died. I'm gonna burn more copies later and sell 'em around school."

"Wes, can I talk to you?" Danny said. Snapping the folder closed, he grabbed the basketball player by the shirt and dragged him out of the classroom by force. "You can't do this."

"What? What do you mean?" Wes demanded, shoving Danny's hands off him.

"If Ember finds out you learned who she was in life and exposed her, she'll kill you," he said, waving the folder emphatically in front of him. "Bringing up a ghost's life or death is one of the biggest taboos in ghost culture. She won't just haunt you, she'll straight up murder you. Until you die."

"Oh, please." Wes crossed his arms. In all the time he'd spent trying to expose Danny as Phantom, Wes had studied up on ghosts and ghost culture quite intensely. He hardly considered himself an expert, but quite frankly, his knowledge was on par with some of the leaders in the field of ectology. "Her popularity will skyrocket once her old songs start circulating. Personal obsession trumps cultural taboo every time, we both know that."

"Not during the Truce," Danny refuted.

"Well, yes, obviously the Truce is an exception; it's the Truce," Wes said. "And I'm not so insensitive that I'm gonna tell everyone in school how she died, I just wanted to rub it in specifically your face that I figured it out, seeing as how you doubted me a few weeks ago." Danny narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing Wes.

"You'd better not tell everyone," he said, but he took a step back. "And if you do, you don't get to implicate me in any of this, got it? I won't have her after me again now that we're not at each other's throats anymore." He shoved the folder to Wes' chest.

"Yeah, whatever." With that the two of them went back into the classroom, where pretty much everyone was listening intently to the tinny music still playing. Wes discreetly slipped his evidence folder into his backpack before anyone else could ask about it, and wrote down the names of people who came by his desk to tell him they wanted to buy a CD once he had them.

The next day, Wes started selling copies of the CD for ten bucks a pop. Within a week, he had enough money to buy himself a brand new camera to replace the one Danny had destroyed a few months back. He turned out to be right about Ember being cool with him selling her old songs, though she demanded he give her a copy. She was even a little nostalgic listening to them, and she almost cried when Wes told her he'd gotten them from an old fan of hers.

It got Wes thinking about what other ghosts might feel if he reminded them of their past. The next on his list, he decided, was the Box Ghost. Why him? Frankly, Wes just wanted to know what that guy's deal was.

[slavishslap]

Jill Valentine | Tickle HC's

Hi. I'm living. I'm alive. I've actually been drafting loads of stuff as of recently. Really gotten into writing so seems like a good time to do a little attempted return to this account! Thought a good return would be to drop a few HCs for characters I really like. I played a lot of Resident Evil recently, so thought I would start these off with my favourite of the characters. Enjoy!

Ler

Only has two modes, either super gentle and teasy, or pinning down, absolutely wrecking someone's worst spots.

Will never pass up an opportunity to revenge tickle someone.

If she wants to tickle someone, they will be tickled, no matter what. She'll chase someone if she has to.

Very pinchy and scratchy tickles. Fully utilises her nails on her lee.

Very teasy. She will constantly remind you just how ticklish you are. "Is a little someone ticklish? Hmm?"

Also things like "I'm barely even touching you..." "Oooh, you're really ticklish here, huh... I might have to just keep tickling right here, what d'ya think?"

Will lock eyes the entire time, always with a huge smirk on her face.

Repeats the phrases "Tickle tickle tickle!" or "Coochie coochie coo!" Every 5 seconds when tickling.

Finds squeals, squeaks, or any other slightly different variation of laughter very cute, and will let you know. "What was that noise! I have to hear that again!"

Always gradually slows her attacks, until she's barley scratching her lee, before she actually stops.

Will continue to tease after she's finished. "Aw, you poor ticklish thing, huh?" "Can you breathe now? Can you talk normally now?"

Lee

Maybe surprisingly, she's unbelievably ticklish.

But will (try and fail to) deny it til the end. Ask her if she's ticklish and you'll recieve the most serious, yet guilty, glare ever. "...No..."

Her worst spots are her ribs and thighs.

Cannot take two different spots being tickled at the same time at all.

Usually not as ticklish against softer, more gentle methods. Although, scratching your nails down her ribs/sides will absolutely kill her every time.

Actually very bad at fighting back. Getting tickled sends her into such a squirming frenzy that she can barely control her own movements.

As such very jumpy. A single poke to the side can send her flying.

Massive squealer. Very high pitched and squeaky. But really tickle her bad and she'll turn to an almost silent laughter.

Always yells "Help!" Even if there's no one else around. "I hate you!" Is another one of her favourite things to giggle out.

Very susceptible to visual teasing. Wiggle your fingers in the air over her and she'll immediately go bright red and start giggling, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

Gets very sweaty. Her hair always ends up stuck to her face by the end of a wrecking.

Be prepared to run once she's fully regained her composure, because she will be after revenge.

That's all for her, thanks for reading! Wanted to put a lil note here at the end just to say that while I am back on here, I already have loads more headcanons to drop, at least 5 other characters in the writing, but would love to hear any actual fanfic requests. I know a fandom list would probably help (and I will eventually write one) but as long as it's the same series as something I've done before, I'd definitely be happy writing for it again.