#I'm trying to provide for us and money isn't enough and love isn't enough and it's been almost 7 years in 2 months

[sissylittlefeather]

A House That Has Everything: Chapter 4

A/N: This one came to me when I saw these amazing AI photos on Instagram made by @blackvelvetep and @_chiara975ep. (Be sure to check out their pages on Instagram!) My fic brain went crazy and this storyline was born.

Summary: Set in Regency England, Mr. Presley is the gentleman who owns and resides in Graceland Manor. Annabelle Martin is his newest maid after her parents have died and left her an orphan. Can he resist his affection for her, despite the difference in their social class?

Need to catch up? Masterlist HERE.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, smut and angst, p in v sex, unprotected sex, sexy thoughts, and some kissing

Word count: ~2.5k

“Bella…”

But it isn't enough.

******

In order to take his mind off of Bella, Elvis leaves for a week in London to settle some estate business and spend time with his friends. When he sets out, all of the staff gather to see him off. Annabelle stands with her hands folded and her eyes on the ground. She's afraid if she looks at him, she'll blush or maybe even pass out cold. He slows down as he passes her, trying to catch her eye, even though he has no idea what he would do if he did. And then, just like that, he's gone.

In the carriage, his mind is consumed with thoughts of Bella refusing to look him in the eye. It's probably good that he'll have some time away. He can't handle another temptation and giving in would ruin them both.

******

In London, Elvis behaves as he usually does, gambling and drinking and generally acting completely unbefitting of his station, but the club he frequents is private and used to this kind of thing from gentlemen from the country.

After a bare-chested boxing match with his best friend Jasper, he finds himself in a perfumed bed in the arms of one of the women who works in the club. She provides a certain service to men who married for expectation rather than romance. Elvis has been with this kind of woman before on his trips to London, but this time he finds himself with a unique problem. The woman, called Bridget, runs her hand over his chest and sighs.

“Is there something on your mind, love?” She coos, her hand drifting down even further. Elvis stops her without thinking and purses his lips. The answer is yes, his mind is filled with Bella and he almost feels like he's being unfaithful here in this bed, but he knows that is absurd. He shakes his head, insisting that he's fine, even though his soft cock gives him away. “You've already paid, love. So why don't you relax and let me help you?”

She leans in and presses her lips to his softly. He closes his eyes and tries to sink into the kiss, but an image of Bella floats up behind his eyelids and he pulls back, almost gagging.

“I can't. I'm sorry.” He lays flat on his back and stares up at the ceiling and Bridget sighs again.

“Who is it that you're in love with?” Her voice has changed from her seductive whisper to one of matter-of-fact conversation.

“I'm not… what? No, that's not…”

“Are you afraid I'll tell your secret? You know what I am.” He turns and looks at her. She's right. No one would listen even if she did try to tell anyone.

“My maid.” He looks back up at the ceiling with an exasperated sigh. “She is the most exquisite creature and I haven't been able to rid my mind of her.”

“Does she feel the same?”

“I don’t know. We haven't… there is only longing. I think she may, but I only know my own heart.” Bridget clicks her tongue and runs her fingers through his hair almost out of habit.

“You poor miserable thing. With only your money to comfort you.” There's an edge of bitterness to her voice.

“I'd give it all up to have her.” He whispers. She softens and turns his chin to look at her.

“Then you have to tell her.”

“I cannot.”

“Then you don't deserve her.” He sits up almost angrily.

“You don't understand. You are free to love whomever you choose. I am bound by obligation to marry someone of my own class.” His eyes are burning and his nostrils flare.

“I couldn't love you.” She says it flatly and understanding settles on him. “But if I did, I would tell you. Love has no thought for the boundaries of society. It gives and takes as it sees fit.”

“Then what do I do about it? Wait for it to pass?” His pain is so genuine that she has a hard time dismissing it.

“Will it?” She cocks her head to the side a little.

“I don't know. I thought it would but here I am in this conversation with you.” He closes his eyes and she puts her hand on his cheek.

“Elvis, will you tell anyone that you were here with me?” He opens his eyes and looks at her, not sure where she's going with this question.

“No.”

“Then why couldn't she be your secret instead of me?” Something akin to hope flickers in his chest. She's right again. Why couldn't Bella be the secret he keeps from the world?

“I hadn't thought of that.” Bridget smiles and runs her hand down his stomach.

“Most of you never do.” She wraps her hand around his flaccid member and then whispers. “Tell me about her.”

Elvis's mind races as he thinks of Bella: her beautiful hands and the cupids bow in her lips that he wants to taste so badly. As more images of her appear in his mind, he hardens and Bridget begins to pump him.

“She's the loveliest woman I've ever seen, dainty and feminine but with a fire and strength I've only ever read about. Her hair is raven-dark and her eyes are deep blue.” He moans softly.

“Good. Close your eyes and keep going.” She strokes him with a little more pressure as his eyes flutter shut.

“She has the sweetest voice and her body…” He whimpers when he thinks of her perfectly round breasts and the curve of her hips under her skirt.

“I'm her. How do you want me?” All of a sudden, it's no longer Bridget's hand on his cock, it's Bella's, and he gasps a little.

“Fully and completely.” Bridget moves herself over his hips, rubbing the tip of him through her folds as he whimpers. “Oh, my Bella.”

He groans as she sinks down onto him and then starts to move. With his eyes closed, he sees Bella, her beautiful body naked, her face rapt with pleasure. Bridget sighs as she fucks him to completion and he moans and whispers Bella’s name with his eyes tightly shut.

When he finishes, he opens them and wants to cry. She's not Bella. Not even close. Bridget sees his expression and kisses his forehead.

“Tell her, Elvis.” He nods silently and pulls away from her, standing to dress himself.

Back in his own bed at the inn, he lays on his side and ignores the tears that slide down his nose. The sick feeling in his stomach makes it impossible to sleep, but he closes his eyes anyway.

******

Annabelle walks through to the kitchen and finds Mrs. Hall in a tizzy.

“What is it?” She asks curiously.

“Mr. Presley will be home this evening. We've just received word that he's on his way.” Annabelle's heart skips.

“He wasn't due home for another three days!” The thought of having him back in the house makes her weak in the knees.

“I know, but he apparently finished his business in London more quickly than he expected. Chop these carrots for me, love.” Mrs. Hall gestures to a pile of carrots on the cutting board and Annabelle goes to work silently. After a few minutes, Mrs. Hall notices her wordlessness. “You seem distraught that he'll be back.”

“Oh, no, I just… am surprised.” She stumbles over the words, embarrassed at being caught.

“Mmm. I was right, wasn't I?” Annabelle pauses her chopping and looks at Mrs. Hall. “There is something between you two.”

“No. There cannot be.”

“Ah, but you'd like there to be.” The older woman smiles knowingly and Annabelle sighs.

“There cannot be.” She repeats it to herself as much as to the cook.

“Love does not care where it cannot be. Now, give me those before you lose a finger.” Mrs. Hall takes the knife and goes to work chopping the carrots herself, dismissing Annabelle to get lost in her thoughts on her own. When she disappears through the door, Mrs. Hall smiles and begins to hum. It'll be good to see her boy happy again.

******

Despite his early return, Annabelle doesn't see Elvis for another couple of days. She goes about her work nervously, secretly praying to see him and afraid to see him all at once. One day Mrs. Davenport notices that she's finishing her work quickly and adds another task. She's to dust several of the rooms in the house every afternoon. Annabelle thinks nothing of this as she begins to work, moving from room to room, but as she approaches the drawing room, she stops dead in her tracks.

Someone is playing the pianoforte. And not just playing it, but playing it beautifully. Curiosity overwhelms her and she pushes the door open carefully. It's him. He's bent over the keys and as she watches, he begins to sing while he plays. His voice is the smoothest baritone she's ever encountered and it makes her heart leap in ways she didn't think possible. She also feels that familiar warmth between her legs and tries to close the door slowly, but it's a heavy door and it closes with a loud thunk. The music stops and she turns to make her way down the hallway quickly but he pulls it open before she gets too far.

“Bella! Wait!” He calls out to her as she slips into the library. When he enters, she's furiously dusting everything she can see, trying to ignore the growing blush on her cheeks and the way her center moistens under her clothes. “Are you hiding from me?”

She stops and takes a deep breath, turning to face him. Somehow, he's even more beautiful than before and it takes everything inside her not to go to him and pull him in close to her.

“No, of course not.”

“You ran away from me.” Elvis is a little hurt that he hasn't seen her. He came home specifically to talk to her and his resolve has melted more and more each day. Still, his encounter with Bridget is heavy in his mind and some determination lingers.

“I'm working.” At that moment, she bumps a porcelain knick-knack and it hits the floor, breaking into several large pieces. “Oh, I'm so sorry, sir.”

He sighs and then walks over, bending down to help her collect the pieces.

“Bella, I thought I asked you not to call me ‘sir’.”

“I'm sorry… Elvis.” He smiles and takes the broken pieces from her hands.

“That's better.” They both stand up and he sets the broken object on the end table. For a second they just stare at each other again. All of a sudden, his nerve is lost and he has no idea what to say. She's just about to turn away when he blurts out. “Do you like to read?”

“I do. More than anything.” She answers him quietly.

“Novels?”

“Some. Mostly poetry.” He can't help but smile widely as he walks to a shelf and pulls down a book.

“Have you read this?” She walks closer and looks at the volume he's holding.

“Wordsworth? I love Wordsworth.” His face is one of complete adoration and he tries desperately not to sweep her into his arms.

“And then my heart with pleasure fills–”

“-And dances with the daffodils.” She finishes the line he started and he nods. They continue this exercise through three more books before he pulls a tiny book of poems from his breast pocket.

“What about this one?” He hands it to her and she holds it, noticing all the dog-eared pages and notes in the margin.

“No, not this one.”

“It's yours, then. My favorite is on page 42.” His heart is racing when he thinks of what he's scribbled there, but in this moment he's so full of love for her that he doesn't even care if she sees it. He wants her to see it, needs her to see it.

She looks at him with her heart beating loudly in her chest. It's a book of love poems. Her hands tremble slightly as she turns to page 42. There, at the top, in his handwriting: For my Bella.

He steps closer to her as she reads, the blood thick in his veins, rushing everywhere but his brain.

The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle.

Why not I with thine?—

See the mountains kiss high heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth

And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

If thou kiss not me?

She looks up at him as she reads the last line and he's so close she can feel him breathing. Her chest rises and falls quickly and his eyes flit down to her lips. She's afraid she might faint as he reaches out carefully and takes her cheek in his hand.

“What is all this sweet work worth, if thou kiss not me?” He whispers the last line. Her eyes flick between his and then down to his mouth as he moves toward her painfully slowly. She should stop him, but she's frozen on the spot.

Finally, his lips graze hers so softly that it's barely a kiss. But he doesn't stop there. He kisses her again, with a little more pressure, his lips parted with his tongue cautiously moving ever-so-slightly, but he doesn't taste her yet. Not until the third kiss, when she drops the book of poetry and throws her arms around his neck. He wraps himself around her waist and dives in fully into a kiss so deep and so intense that they both get lost below the waves of it. Their bodies are pressed together and their tongues move in a symphonic dance and they both forget to breathe. After what feels like an eternity, but isn't nearly long enough, they pull apart breathlessly. He tries to press his forehead to hers, but she backs away.

“Elvis, I can't.”

“Bella, please–”

“No. I'm sorry!” Her voice is heavy with tears as she turns and runs from the room.

“Bella!” He yells after her, but she's gone. He bends down and picks up the book of poems and then turns and throws it at the wall. Sinking into a chair, he runs his hands in his hair and tries to hold back the tears. He looks up at the ceiling as they start to fall and whispers. “Bella, please.”

She stands on the other side of the door, her body wracked with sobs as she weeps uncontrollably. When she hears him whisper her name again, she drops to her knees.

“Oh, Elvis.” She whispers it like a prayer, her hand on her heart as she rocks back and forth in agony.

******

What will happen next?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ahundredlifetime @claire-elvisgirl @ccab @atleastpleasetelephone @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @cinnamoroll-things @burnthheparaphilia @jhoneybees @cattcb @everythingelvispresley @returntopresley @searchingforgravity @msamarican @angschrof @lustnhim @polksaladava @librababe99 @hooked-on-elvis @theelvisprincess @makethemorning @peaceloveelvis @mrspresley69 @pxpresley @kxnnxy

[insecthusbandry]

Babe, I wish you'd leave me alone

[petew21-blog]

Family swap: Boys just wanna have fun!

My name is Robert Philip Cornell. I come from a very succesful family of lawyers. And in order to honor my family's legacy I continued in this tradition. Therefore I hope that one of my sons, preferably both, will continue this path as well. Unfortunately my twins, Richard and Philip, are very much like me and their mother. Inteligent, very good looking and thanks to our wealth, powerful. And they know how to use that. But sometimes I wonder if they should appreciate our legacy more than they do now. If you asked me right now and I answered that they were high, drunk or fucking someone, I'd definitely hit atleast one of the three if not all of them.

I was in Johannesburg to help close a company I represent a great deal. After signing we ended having a few coctails and then I left the group to my hotel room. Suddenly a WhatsApp message came to my mobile phone. From my wife Anna

"I'm sorry for interupting your meeting. Call me asap when you're free. It's the boys"

Oh god. What now? I dialed my wife's phone number

Anna:"Hey love. How was the meeting?"

Robert:"Hi, all went well. What's happening?"

Anna:"Philip took the boat. Richard covered him and as soon as the boat left the harbour he followed him. They just wanted to trick me. So now they're once again having a party on the sea, absolutely high as always. I just hope the cost guard will be understanding once again"

Robert:"Honey. I know you mean well with them, but I think it's time"

Anna:"Robert no. You can't be serious. Don't you remember what happened with your father and you when you two did this? Your father wanted to 'teach you a lesson', then you spent a shit ton of money and almost destroyed his reputation."

Robert:"And look where it got me. I know that the boys will understand eventually"

Anna:"So what are you gonna do? It wouldn't be fair to swap only one of them and there isn't another male figure left in your family to swap them with"

Robert:"I wasn't thinking of a male figure to be honest"

Anna:"Are you crazy? One of my sons in my FEMALE body? Robert, I don't think I'm comfortable with that. I can't imagine one of them treating my body decently"

Robert:"I am not happy with one of them ruining my image too or even treating my and yours body, but I believe that they will learn the lesson soon enough. Besides, wouldn't you wanna take those two teen hormonal bodies for a spin?"

Anna:"You're a tease Robert... when?"

Robert:"How about right now? I am in a hotel room. So let's say, Richard can try to get out of South Africa back home and Philip now can try to figure out and stress alone in your body on an island, how to get their original bodies back"

Anna:"Robert... you're evil. Then I am looking forward to see you in a minute"

Robert:"See you soon, my love"

A few minutes passed since Robert wanted to write down some instructions and so did Anna

Richard and Philip were on a yacht, blasting music and approaching the beach of the city they were headed to. Suddenly a text message sound. Philip opened the message first. It said:"Since you boys want to be on your own and enjoy everything life has to offer, we give you our bodies to take care of and with them the duties of maintaining our family image. Yes, you now have to work, yes you have to provide for the family. And yes, one of you will be a female. Treat our bodies with respect and we will do the same."

Philip:"Dude is dad tripping? What the hell is that?"

Richard:"I think I'm too high for this, bro"

A very nauseating feeling that didn't originate from the waves of the sea sweat through the two teens. Both trying hard not to vomit

Richard's P.O.V.

The feeling passed. There was a bright artificial light around him and he felt water coming down his chest. Wait what? How did he get in the shower? Was he that high that he didn't even remember the boat landing, the party or anything?

Richard looked down on his chest

"What the fuck?!?" a deep voice echoed the walls of the shower

"Philip? Did you bleach my chest hair? They're grey you fucker. And what the hell happened to my voice? I sound like dad."

I wasn't paying much attention to myself and what was actually happening. I just took a towel, exitted the shower and tried to find out where the hell I was. I looked around and couldn't find much. It was a pretty normal hotel room, on the bed I saw my fathers briefcase and his clothes. There was a note on the bed:"Wanted to hand you everything clean and ready. BEHAVE and don't ruin my body! Love, dad"

"What the actual fuck is this?"

The reality was starting to him the. The text message, the note, the chest hair. I was scared to look in the mirror, but there was no other way of knowing

"You son of a bitch!" he really did it. My new reflection wasn't the one I was used to, but seemed like my much older one and a but distorted along with a beard. My father is a very handsome man, I have to give him that. But it is very different from the point of view of his son. Your parents aren't suppose to be hot, they're disgusting to you no matter how they look. Yet here I was standing, watching my father's muscular, grey-haired torso. His veins on his biceps. His piercing eyes that I knew very precisely, cause these ones were the ones that raised me. The ones that always seemed the most disappointed.

But now. I was behind these eyes. And my father did this to me on purpose. He wanted to give me another life lesson. "You know what dad? Fuck you!"

I dropped the towel I put around my waist before to reveal a hairy flacid dick. Ew, I never thought I would see my father's dick from this point of view. We'll here we are. But it's not bad to be honest. Might give it a little trim and the chicks would dig it.

I took a second before doing that to really think hard. I had to look away from the mirror causing watching my father jerk off wasn't something I would get off to daily. But watching this nice cock get hard in my hands as I was palying with these hairy balls and the foreskin, that was something. Looking down I was really proud. I am still muscular, I look amazing and I got a nice dick. Doesn't matter what dad does to me. I'll enjoy this punishment.

I grabbed my new dick hard. I squeezed it until I felt pain. And then I started jerking it. I spit in my hand and played with the head, almost instantly. I stopped and resumed jerking. I was hairy everywhere. I wasn't used to that. I wasn't even thinking about this body as my father's anymore.

My right hand was curious enough to get into the jungle between my buttcheeks. And what a jungle it is. I spit into that hand as well.

"Sorry, daddy. Boys just wanna have fun"

I pushed one finger inside. I could that this body has never experinced that. I'll enjoy that even more. I pushed in another finger and then kept on pushing until I couldn't. I felt my new prostate. So sensitive! I pushed and pulled. Almost forgetting to jerk off at the same time. I got in sync and could only scream in pleasure. I was so close. I could feel the sensation building up. If I were in my body I would stop to take care of the mess in time. But I didn't care. I let it pour outside off me. The cum got into my chest hair and on my abs. I let out a sight of relief

Collapsed on the bed, I noticed dad's phone lighting up. Mom was calling. Wait, is it really mom or is Philip also swapped? I gotta know. I took the phone to my ear and answered

Philip:"Those fuckers. What are we gonna do about them?"

Richard:"I don't know about you, but I just had the best orgasm in my life"

Philip:"You're so disgusting Rich, that's our fathers body, you know that?"

Richard:"Yeah, but that didn't stop me. And I don't think you should stop either. The women say that their orgasm is so much more intense, so now you'll know"

Philip:"I don't know if I am ok with that. It's our mother's pussy, bro"

Richard:"Yeah and? I just fingered our father ass. Suck it up big boy. I'll send you a location. I'll take a plane and we'll meet there?"

Philip:"You're nasty bro. See you there I guess. Wait, wait do you know what is this tiny weird thing sticking out at the top of the vagina?"

I packed my fahter's things and set off to meet my bro, or wife?. I went to the local mall and slightly altered my visage. Do you think they'll let me inside of the plane like this? Oh and one tiny request I gotta send to our butler

Robert and Anna's P.O.V.

Anna:"I must admit, Robert, I haven't felt so full off energy in ages!"

Robert:"That might be the drugs the boys took, haha"

Anna:"No, seriously. The boys got great bodies, but our bodies aren't as much vital as these ones. We have to go do something!"

Robert:"How about we continue in the plans that the boys had? Might be fun"

We arrived to an empty beach with no one in sight.

Robert:"Did you check the coordinates?"

Anna:"Sorry, dear but I am still very high. I am still surprised we didn't crash the boat"

Robert:"Haha. It's so funny to see Philip call me honey. Haha, jesus. I think I am still also high"

Anna:"Wanna maybe lie down here and just... chill. Or how do the kids these days call it?"

Robert:"Haha. 'Kids these days'. Philip looks like a nostalgic senior now"

Anna in Philip's body laughed. "Yeah and what are you? A teen king who knows all the trends?" she ran up to him and pushed him on the ground

Both boys's bodies still very high. They very playfully fighting in the sand. Rolling around, like two teenage boys would

Suddenly Anna planted Robert a kiss. Robert was shocked and stared at her not returning it

Anna:"I still see you as you. I don't care what bodies we're in. Even if we were worms I'd ¹still love you"

Robert:"Anna, I... don't think I can do this"

Anna grabbed Robert's new hard dick and looked back at him:"Then don't think at all. Just love me"

Anna kissed him again and this time Robert kissed back. He felt the love his wife had for him and kissed the another boys body back.

The two identical boys now with their hands all over their bodies. Exploring each other as if it were a mirror. A mirror that they made out. A mirror that they were caressing and pressing their hard dick against.

Ther dicks were out. Anna in Philip's body just laughed as she felt her husband sucking her dick:"I understand why you always beg me. This is so goood. Keep going!"

Robert didn't believe what he was doing, but he couldn't really keep thinking that or else he would go mad. Sucking his son's dick was definitely not on his bucket list.

Robert got into a 69 position. Twins giving each other the same pleasure. What a sight for horny eyes.

They didn't talk. They were mouthful, so there was no room for talking. Each gagging on each others dick. Giving pleasure to the other one. Thursting and enjoying the same feeling from the other. They were close very close. And they both came almost at the same time. They got some perfecting to do.

They were in each other's arms, naked on the beach sand. Enjoying the view of the other one. Just smiling at each other.

And just then, the family Butler arrived with security to the beach.

Nigel:"Good afternoon gentlemen. I have strickt orders from your parents to transport you back to your house and to enroll you back into high school. You have your senior year to finish and you have to pass all your exams. Your parents also gave a strict rule of no alcohol, no drugs and no visits in your home. Shall we leave?"

Robert to Anna:"Oh that's what I forgot. Fuck, Richard is good. This is gonna be very good for him. I think he'll be the next one to continue."

Anna:"Did you just hear what Nigel said, honey?"

Robert:"All I heard was that I will spend a lot off tíme together with the love of my life. I don't care how painful it will be. We get to be young again and together. And don't forget that the boys share bedroom, honey." I saw Anna blushing and smile as she opened the car door.

Richard a Philip's P.O.V.

Philip:"Are you sure we're safe like this?"

Richard:"Yeah, bro. They're gonna have to go to high school and all. Nigel already has them at home. We get to live no without nagging"

Philip:"Yeah, so amazing to have no nagging, but If you haven't noticed I am the one with mums pussy."

Richard:"And I bet it's hungry for dick"

Philip:"Why on earth didn't they swap you into mum instead of me. I'm not even bi. I won't enjoy the sex as much as you will"

Richard;"Ok, I promile that tonight I'll show you that you're now definitely on the spectrum and that I now have a magnificent dick that will make you very happy"

Philip:"Fine. So, we gonna party now or what?"

Richard:"The festival hasn't even started yet and you wanna party already. I think we're now the oldest people here dude."

Philip:"Well then let's show them how older people party!"

An inbox story that I played with a tiny bit :D

Could you write a story about parents swapping bodies with their twin kids since they don’t behave. Now the parents in the boys body must go to school and enjoy their youth while the boys in their parents bodies have to give to work and be responsible.

If you haven't seen your story yet, don't worry I got a lot of them in the inbox, some of them are partially written in the drafts and are now just waiting for me to have more time and be horny enough to finish them 😈

[dollypopup]

Today I'm thinking about how so much of Colin's narrative speaks to the neurodivergent experience of having to pretend to be someone else as a survival mechanism. Of the pressure in masking because your real, authentic self is rejected or ignored: too weird, too quiet, too loud, too gullible, too soft-heart, too. . .everything. Too anything. And at the same time, not enough.

Colin gets excited about his travels, about his hyperfixations, talks and talks and talks about them, and no one cares. So, Colin shuts up. Colin writes letter after letter, and gets no reply. So, Colin writes in a journal just for himself. Colin tries and tries to make his family proud, tries to marry, tries courting properly, and it blows up in his face. So, Colin chooses not to date, to become a spectator. Colin is yelled at for trying to invest, so he no longer asks or talks about money, doesn't try to rock the boat in his city. Who Colin is, what he wants, ceases to matter, the fabric of him folded smaller and smaller- instead he focuses on the shell. Builds it in image of his older brothers, of the men around him. Mirrors them.

Anthony says he should have taken Colin to brothels, that he's a fool for trying to marry and his engagement blows up- Colin thus goes to brothels. Colin hops from city to city, trying on new personas like outfits, fine tuning each one. Is this it? Will this be what finally makes them accept me? Colin's appeal to the women of the ton is that he does not talk about himself- but about them. That they're wearing beautiful dresses, that surely they'll find husbands. Separating himself from them- cannot tell them of his travels, that he's not the brave one, it was everyone working together to help with the balloon.

Deflect. Never centered. Colin exists on the outskirts as Pen does, he's just hypervisible for his exterior, and invisible otherwise. His charm is that he pleases those around him. His wounds are that the truest version of him cannot accomplish that. Thus, he becomes hyperaware of what his impact is, first to apologize and last to be forgiven. Living for the approval of others is a trap. He knows. He's fallen into it, a bear claw around his ankles.

He feels like the only way he's worthwhile is if he's providing something for someone. An apology, or comfort, or ease, compliments or winks, a laugh or a distraction, good looks or a fantasy. Providing a happy life for Pen by stepping out of the way, his own needs secondary. It's being there for his mum for an escort or a soft heart to heart. It's taking Anthony's disappointment in him and being indulgent to Eloise's insults. It's giving Benedict his special tea and saying hardly anything about why he bought it in the first place. Bringing gifts to family members who did not write back to him as he wandered the world, alone. It's sticking his neck out for Penelope with Jack, it's providing a dance or a rescue or a good time, checking on Marina to make sure she's alive and okay, listening to Phillip. Colin isn't at all comfortable being himself, the himself that is messy, so he covers it in the himself that is useful.

But what he does, what he provides other people, is not his actual worth. He thinks he's being altruistic by stepping aside and languishing in his feelings for Pen, believing she'll be happier in the future with Debling, waiting and waiting and waiting, until that candle burns out and he's at the 11th hour- and when he snaps and goes after her, when he cuts into her dance, when he runs for her in that carriage, he makes a choice for himself that he thinks, in some way, is selfish.

But it isn't. It's what she wants, too. And there's something beautiful in the fact that with Penelope, his being real, what he thinks is so difficult and unwanted, is actually giving her what she has desired all along. They both find fulfillment and contentment in his unmasking. Penelope never wanted the shell. She saw what was beneath it. She loves what's beneath it.

And I think there's something. . .healing, in that narrative. That us ND peeps who mask as a means of fitting in- that will never bring us happiness. Not really. That it didn't bring Colin happiness.

His arc is realizing that he should be his true, authentic self, and that love will bloom from it. And it does.

I don't know. I think I can learn something from that. I think I'm going to carry that with me for a while.

[bird-inacage]

Love Sea: The Price of Love (Tongrak & Mut's Backstories)

"Love is just a figment of our imagination." We were given more clues to both Tongrak and Mut's backstories in Episode 2 and how this has impacted their attitudes to love. There are crossovers starting to take shape, so here I am trying to connect some of those dots.

EP2: FLASHBACKS | History Repeating Itself

In Tongrak's flashbacks, we see two memories. One of him as a child where his parents Liw and Jak are fighting. His father demands that his mother pay him to stay. From the dialogue alone, I'm speculating if this is a man who married for wealth. If his father's driving force in the marriage had been monetary gain and greed - then 'love' for his family meant very little to him.

The next is of teenage Tongrak and his sister Kongkwan. It seems his sister was abandoned by her boyfriend, due to her unexpected pregnancy. In the case of both his mother and sister, love proved to be a fickle thing. So much so that a man could walk away from his unborn child, or abandon his family. Love was never enough.

So what is the price you pay for a shot at love, and is it worth it? Love brings ruin. It brings disappointment and unhappiness. Love doesn't guarantee stability or loyalty. So as Tongrak watches on, the very idea of love feels like a sham. An elaborate lie we have all bought into. "Yes, it's something we make up," Tongrak says, because he hasn't seen evidence to prove any different.

"If you don't want to end up like me...don't fall in love with anyone" his mother warns. A cautionary tale. Don't fall in love. Because love leads to nothing good. Do not make the same mistake.

EP3: PREVIEW | Embrace the Fantasy

In Episode 3's preview, Mut is eager to show Tongrak that he is capable of experiencing love. (I believe Tongrak is already starting to, which is why his mother's advice is haunting him. He's afraid he's falling into the same trap). Mut is being considerate of Tongrak's mental aversion to the idea by making his proposal feel low entry.

'If you think love is imaginary, then let's pretend. Why not indulge in that fantasy? We'll play make-believe whilst we're on the island.' (The implication being this isn't for real yet, so there's no need to panic). Mut is inviting Tongrak to focus only on the now and not the after. The island will be their bubble, suspended from the threat of reality for the timebeing. What Mut is hoping for is that Tongrak will come to change his mind on love through that process. That the feelings they experience whilst playing house can be transferred to real life. If it's easier to consider love within the confines of fantasy, then let's start there and see where it takes us.

WITH WEALTH, COMES POWER

We've seen Tongrak use his money to get what he wants. Money has the power to tether a man to his family, and equally it had the means to tear his family apart. "I'm not possessive of you but once I've paid you, you're mine." It's no surprise that Tongrak would see money as a means to exert control and as a bargaining chip.

In their NC scene, Tongrak repeatedly says "How much do I need to pay you to sleep with me?" By that point, Mut clearly didn't need money to be the deciding factor. He was plenty invested. But if it's easier for Tongrak to use money as a pretence for bargaining Mut's time, then Mut seems all too happy to oblige.

MAHASAMUT VERSUS TONGRAK'S FATHER

If Tongrak's father did leech off his mother's wealth, that would provide an interesting antithesis to Mut. Mut, the teenage runaway from a small island who has paved his way through life with very little. And yet takes full responsibility for himself, and doesn't expect a hand out. He only accepts payment in exchange for his hard work, and he doesn't wallow in self-pity because of this hardship.

I do expect a confrontation between Mut and Rak's father at some point. Jak could claim that Mut is essentially doing the same thing and exploiting Rak for his wealth. That there's no love involved. Thus, playing on Tongrak's fear and insecurity of history repeating itself. Whilst Mut does all he can to assure Tongrak he's anything but.

Tongrak's father also abandoned him (emotionally and/or physically). Now he has heard Mut share his own backstory about how his father kicked him out and left him to fend for himself, that's going to be a significant point of connection and compassion between them both. They may be on opposite sides of the coin with their upbringing, but they've gone through similar forms of heartache.

You can check out bird-inacage’s BL meta directory for all my other posts around Love Sea.

[fourohfourlifenotfound]

Okay so hi I'm not super in any of your fandoms (watcher + try guys + dropout, hello welcome) but I'm a software developer and BOTH try guys and watcher announcing a custom streaming platform so close together had me suspicious.

So with just one, I'd assume that maybe they scraped together the money and resources to hire enough devs to make a well-designed secure platform (you want security for your login info and payment info). But two? Seems a bit odd.

So I actually looked a bit closer, at their privacy policies:

So it looks like Vimeo has decided to up their game and partner with existing yt content creation outlets to make streaming platforms.

Wait, what about Dropout? Dropout uses it too!

What does this mean, exactly?

Well, it means that Vimeo is providing a base software that gets customized for use by the companies (watcher, 2nd try). It means that Vimeo has a hand in your data associated with these platforms (account info, payment info, watch info, etc...). Is that a bad thing? Idk yet. Read through the streaming platform's privacy policy and Vimeo's privacy policy and make your own decision about what you feel comfortable sharing. But realistically the only additional info collected compared to your average youtube use is the financial info, and that seems to go through another third party (4th party?) (like Stripe or something like that. very common, most of your financial transactions online use things like that). It also likely means that Vimeo is taking some kind of cut of the profits made from these subscriptions (and lets be real, in this day and age, they're not just demanding a flat fee. It's likely some percentage of your subscription cost). The companies switching over (watcher and 2nd try) are making the gamble that the money made on subscriptions after cost taken is more than their adsense from yt, which isn't a wild idea considering how much we know yt loves demonetizing videos and paying their creators poorly.

It also means that Vimeo seems to be on some sort of marketing push, and that more of your favorite channels may swap over to streaming services in the near future.

Vimeo???? Yes, vimeo, that bootleg youtube that's been around for like as long as I can remember being on the internet. I guess they finally found a way to usurp yt's market control and good for them ig. Maybe this will be the thing that finally forces yt to fix their creator relationships? time will tell Why are you posting this in my favorite media company's tag?? I wanted fanart! Sorry to intrude, I just think this is neat and would love to hear opinions from other people on this knowledge.

[yanderes-galore]

Kamisato Ayato (Genshin Impact) Romantic with a darling who is a commoner? Prompts #21 & #26 on Yandere Writing Prompts #2

Sure I can! I watched some of his Story Quest so I think I know enough ^^ First time writing Ayato, I hope he comes off as accurate.

Prompts Here

Yandere! Kamisato Ayato Prompts 21 and 26

"You don’t realize how powerful you are with me by your side."

"I can make all of your pain go away. You just have to say the words."

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Coercion, Stalking, Implied attempts at an arranged marriage, Delusional behavior, Kissing (Hand, Lips), Forced relationship.

There's a feeling tension as you sit in front of the Head of the Kamisato Clan. You feel his light purple gaze never leaves yours as you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Not many met him in public... let alone catch his eye.

Yet you two have become friends months ago. You provided him with a way to distract himself from his duties, even if he couldn't speak with you often. Despite this... Ayato still managed to make time for his commoner companion.

He's always been kind towards you... but you have no idea just how much he knows about you.

"Let's get to the point, my dear." Ayato finally speaks, his hands folded in front of him. You can tell by his gaze he's thinking of something important. You shift in your seat, uncomfortable by the intimidating aura around him.

"We don't often have private conversation, Ayato." You speak, trying to ease the tension. "Is this something really important or are you just busy?"

"Something has been troubling me lately..." Ayato admits with a sigh. "I heard your family has been having trouble financially recently?"

Your breath hitches at his words. You wanted to ask how he knew that... but you assumed he could get the information if he wanted. He's a powerful man in Inazuma, after all.

"That shouldn't concern you." You laugh softly, concern on your face. Ayato picks up on this and shakes his head.

"How could it not? As Head of the Kamisato clan, I have my ways of getting information," Ayato reaches across the small table, but you only respond with more confusion. "I like to look after those close to me as I work."

"Then why bring this up? This is an issue concerning my family...." You cut him off, discomfort rising as he glares for a moment.

"It's an issue for me too. How am I supposed to focus on work if I know you could be going hungry or doing something unsafe?" Ayato continues before smiling. "So I have a proposal."

"I don't need your money, Ayato." You frown, Ayato shaking his head again.

"That isn't quite what I had in mind..." Ayato hums, quickly capturing your hand in his own. "But you are close... I do wish for you to rely on me."

You catch on to what Ayato is implying and try to pull your hand away. However, his grip only tightens with a disapproving look. You just didn't get it, huh?

"My dear..." Ayato sighs, stroking the top of your hand with his thumb. "You don’t realize how powerful you are with me by your side."

"Ayato, we can find another way-" You try to reason, but Ayato cuts you off.

"I'm certain you feel a connection between us, don't you? You're just nervous." Ayato whispers, a loving look in his eyes as he pulls your hand closer to his face. "If you just tell me you feel the same... I can pull you and your family out of your issues."

Ayato presses his lips to your hand softly, his soft purple gaze still never leaving yours. He looked like he wanted to give you the world. He'd do anything just to have you in his grasp.

"You're implying a relationship... marriage." You choke out the words, watching at Ayato nods with a smile. "Ayato, I-"

"I can make all of your pain go away..." He kisses your hand again, lightly licking the skin. "You just have to say the words."

You want to refuse. You care for Ayato as a friend, but didn't entirely jump at the thought of marriage. To you... he felt out of your league.

But Ayato saw you as his everything... he needed you to ease his stresses and provide him pleasures.

Ayato stands up from his seat, strolling over to you before yanking you close. He sees the hesitancy in your eyes. He wants to smother it... he wants you.

"I just want to hear it from you. In an instant I can get everything ready. You won't have to worry about Mora ever again." Ayato whispers, leaning closer. "Just say you love me... say you'll be with me, my love."

You go to refuse, but his grip tightens when you pull away. His gaze is dark when you don't respond. He treasures loyalty and obedience...

If you don't give him such... he'll have to teach you.

"I love you..." You whisper upon pondering your options. Truth is... you fear what Ayato could do if you refused. The darkness in his eyes scares you... and only seems to go away when you comply to him.

Ayato's breath hitches once the words echo in his ears. All of a sudden he's all smiles, no hint of darkness. He moves his grip to your face with adoration on his face.

"Good choice, my love..." Ayato praises. "I'll give you the world while by your side."

It's then the Head of the Kamisato Clan kisses you deeply...

Sealing your fate.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕋𝕠: Notice

Jungkook knows the effect he has on people. So why won't you look at him the same?

Main Tags/Warnings: Model!Jungkook, Actor!Jungkook, Stylist!Reader, strangers/enemies to lovers, mentions of toxic beauty standards

Length: ~4k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

Jeon Jungkook.

He's not really what you see every day visually in the modeling industry, and from what you've heard, he's also quite the charmer. Clearly he has to have something going on if his constantly changing partners are anything to go by- one google search of his name giving you several articles about different names he's allegedly participating in the sensual bedroom tango with. Not that you're surprised- most male models tend to make use of their name in order to get what they desire.

Kill or be killed- you can't really blame anybody for using what they have.

"Did you know he apparently has a yacht?" Lea wonders, eating her sandwich your brought her this morning, as she sits on a table close to you. "I've never even been on a fucking yacht before. Apparently those things are like, 500 thousand coins! Imagine!" She sighs, making you laugh along with her. "I can't believe someone just spends that much money on a boat of all things." She mumbles, trying not to get her new acrylics dirty with the sauce.

"Maybe once you have too much, you just don't care?" Haru wonders, setting up his camera equipment close by. "I've heard that money loses it's worth to those who have a lot of it." He offers, shrugging his shoulders as he adjusts some cables.

"I mean, probably." Lea agrees. "With all the brand deals he has, he's got to have his bank account packed with doubloons." She huffs. "Can't he spare us a million each? He won't miss it, I'm sure.." She whines, finishing her breakfast while you shake your head, laughing.

You're all joking around, but at the end of the day, you'll all probably stay where you are financially and career wise until the end of your days. And you yourself are fine with that- you've accepted the fact that the life Jeon Jungkook for example is living isn't something you yourself would want. That man get's snapped by paparazzi almost daily, he's got no privacy from what you can tell, and he can't even say his opinion without being destroyed for it.

No thank you, you rather stay a nobody than have your entire life displayed for the world to judge.

"What's the concept anyways?" You mumble, looking at Lea who shrugs.

"They said he wants to play director today." She jokes. "So I brought a little of everything, really. We'll see what he wants to do."

You frown. You don't like being so unable to prepare anything- to be put on the spot like that. What if he wants something from you you can't pull off? You don't want to be shit-talked by someone with a name as big as his- that would be absolute career-ending for sure, and you can't have that. You've got nothing else than this.

"I heard he's kinda difficult." Lea sighs, picking up her coffee. "They always only look nice.." She huffs disappointed, before she takes a sip.

You just stay quiet. It's all the same anyways.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

Jeon Jungkook is, indeed, difficult.

Not only is he way too tall for you, but he also moves around constantly, talks over your head as if you're not there, and most of all seems to love making fun of you for no apparent reason other than to piss you off. You're not sure why exactly it has to be you- but it seems like he's chosen his victim, and he won't let go anytime soon.

Just do your job, you tell yourself.

His jokes about your height honestly suck, but no one's brave enough to say it, clearly. Everyone laughs at them and praises his good looks and professionalism while you're just trying to get through this whole ordeal. "A bit tired, huh?" The model looks up at you as he sits on the chair provided, your hands fixing his hair in place just the way he wanted it to. You're glad he's sitting. You hate when he's standing upright, not even trying to bend down a little to offer some help. "And not much of a talker." He chuckles, boldly letting his eyes roam over your face and body while you work.

If he's as observant as he wants to make himself to be, then he won't be too surprised if you don't answer now, either.

And he isn't- he just laughs softly to himself, nothing more than that, and you honestly don't want to know what he's thinking. He's probably judging your no-name branded clothes, ripped tights from having gotten your keys caught on them earlier, and your clear lack of makeup.

You're not the model here, so why bother?

You leave him quickly after finishing up, letting Haru and the others guide the model on where to look and how to pose- though honestly, Jungkook seems rather shit at following directions, always doing somewhat of what he wants instead of what's being suggested.

Why even bring a director when you're gonna do what you want anyways?

"I hate how good he looks." lea hisses at you from where she's standing right next to where you are. "He's so mean! Like, childish-mean!" She whines towards you, and you can't help but snort to yourself because that's hitting the nail on the head for you.

He does act like a spoiled child rather than an adult man on the road towards his thirties.

"Jungkook-ssi, please look at the camera!" One of the directors ask, and only now do you notice that the model looked your way- probably having heard you laugh. Does he think you were laughing about him? Hopefully not, even if it's somewhat true.

You can't have him yap about you to other magazines or whatnot.

So you instantly wipe that smile off your face and go back towards professionalism, and at that, he alerts his gaze as well, going back to what he's been hired to do.

"Do you think there's guys out there who look like him but are nice too?" Lea wonders now that you've both walked a bit morenout of hearing range, avoiding his radar as you hide amongst the other staff and equipment. "Like, I want a hot dude with piercings and tattoos too. But with the old-guy gentleman flavor, you know?" She dreams, stealing a snack from you.

"Dont think so." You huff out, stretching your arms high up to arch your back and legs, even going onto tip-toes as your muscles release all the tension you've been accumulating already. You sigh out in bliss after finishing, your body seemingly reset-

A smirking Jungkook walking right past you, probably having seen you throughout the entire ordeal.

What's that stupid half-smile for, though?

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

You shrug. "He looks the same in every photo to me." You tell Haru, who looks at you a bit lost.

He sighs as he clicks through the photos himself, unsure. You know he knows you're right- but at the end of the day, people like those sultry eyes and that cocky expression that man makes in every picture. You're not sure what exactly makes it so appealing- but you're just here to make him look as good as possible. And his hair looks perfect in almost every shot- so that's good enough for you.

That's your job. Nothing more, nothing less.

"It's his signature look." Haru tries to justify, his soft voice unsure, however, as if he needs to tell it mostly to himself to be convinced of it. He's never been a fan of shootings like these- he's good at them, sure, but he doesn't enjoy shooting those pictures. He's too soft to say it, but you know he finds them boring and uninteresting. It's basics, nothing exciting, nothing new. But he's being paid for this- so he doesn't complain.

That's his job- nothing more, nothing less.

"Well, then his signature look is boring." You say, leaning back against the table behind you, sipping your can of sugary caffeinated soda- the energy drink by now the only thing keeping you somewhat concentrated. Hopefully Jungkook stops complaining so much so you can all go home soon- he's got the whole week anyways, so why is he so whiny?

Brat. It's only the first day and he's already getting on your nerves- acting like someone pissed in his breakfast, rolling his eyes and staring people down just for the fun of it. And women actually fuck that guy? Nepotism must be crazy.

He probably has sex in front of a mirror just to watch himself.

"Boring, huh." Jungkook's voice chimes up, and you spot him walking closer, now wearing a new set of clothes. The leather pants look awfully tight, especially in his private region- that can't be comfortable, can it?

You frown at him. He got his hair all chaotic again- but it's fine. It fits the theme. You won't retouch it for now.

"She didn't mean it like that-" Haru instantly tries to defend you, the young man intimidated by the model as always. You wonder how he can even operate the camera when he constantly shies away from him so much. Maybe when he looks at him through the lens he can detach the person from the picture? It would make sense. After all, you do the same.

You don't see Jungkook. You see Jeon Jungkook, brand ambassador and model- and it should stay that way.

"I did." You disagree with him, however, before you look back at Jungkook. You don't need to be protected- not for your own opinion. It doesn't have any weight anyway, you doubt that someone like you can hurt this man's ego either. It's at least as big as himself, if not taller, which is a lot, considering that he towers over you despite not even reaching the standard 1.80m height usually desired. Then again, there's quite a few things you could count as not being the standard of beauty. But he makes up for it in confidence- even if he seems to have a little too much of it for your taste. "I did mean it like that."

"What am I supposed to do instead then?" Jungkook challenges, crossing his arms next to you.

The hell were you supposed to tell him? You're neither a model, nor very fashionable. He should ask Lea about that, not you. He's trying to argue for no good reason, and that attitude is starting to piss you off.

"Nothing. It's good like that." You shrug, keeping your cool for now at least visually.

"You said it's boring." He bites back almost immediately. Your distaste grows.

"I did, because to me, it is." You respond calmly. Is he trying to pick a fight with you right now? He really is acting like a child beneath all that fake politeness and forced friendly tone he puts on. "But that's my personal opinion. I'm sure people will like those pictures despite that." You explain.

He plays around with his piercings, and gives you that odd look that you can't distinguish from hatred or being offended.

Unbeknownst to you, he's been trying to figure you out for the entire shoot- wondering what you're really like. Do you like softer guys like Haru more? You seem to have some edge to you, if the glimpse of your bellybutton piercing and the few lines of a tattoo poking out the waistband of your pants would be anything to go by. Maybe you're just someone who likes to be in charge.

He can't offer that, at least not sexually.

He's opening his mouth to say something, before he moves when the director claps, and tells everyone to get back to their respective spots-

Jungkook sitting in front of the camera once more, woth the same signature look, because that is his job.

Nothing more, nothing less.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

If it wasn't for Lea and Haru, you wouldn't even be here.

Sitting in a restaurant, special VIP part that's secluded for the rest of the people here, eating together with stupid Jeon Jungkook, who's busy crawling up your boss's ass. He's sitting right next to you too, which is just as ridiculous- it makes it impossible to have a proper conversation with either of your friends. So you just eat, casually, mostly whatever Lea puts on your plate for you.

You really hate social settings like this. You don't like being reminded that you can't even hold a proper conversation for longer than two sentences.

The moment he puts a piece of meat on your plate instead of Lea, your chopsticks stutter. You don't like this. He just tries to appear friendly- probably because everyone else is watching. You know how this goes, after all, you've been through shit like this before. He'll lure you in, be all nice and sweet, use you as his dirty little secret before he leaves you behind for someone that looks better at his side. Someone of his own profession, most likely- or maybe a singer, or an actress. Someone pretty, tall and famous, someone useful for his career. Someone beneficial.

Someone that's not you.

"You're really not much of a talker, hm?" He asks, sitting next to you with his head on his hand, elbow perched up on the table. He honestly looks a little tired without all the makeup Lea had put on for the shoot today- eyes a bit dull, darkness underneath them shadowing the glimmer they had during work today quite a bit. His skin is also not really as clear as it looked in the pictures taken. He's got a few beauty marks, a noticeable little scar, and some redness around his nose.

He looks like a person from this angle. Not like a model.

"…what am I supposed to say." You shrug, eating what he's offered, because why not? He hums a reply, everyone else at the table conversing with one another, Lea currently seemingly in a heated debate about the height of heels with another staff member across the table.

"Why do you work this job when you hate models so much?" Jungkook asks, catching you off guard as you look at him again. "Or is it just me that's your issue?" He challenges, and you sigh, shaking your head before you occupy yourself with your food once more.

"Was my work okay?" You ask him instead, not looking at him but rather his hands, because you can't stand those eyes he has.

"More than okay- it was just what I wanted." He replies a bit caught off guard, and you shrug.

"Then there's nothing to talk about." You simply reply. Because that's the way you need to keep things, that's how you'll protect yourself and have been for the last few years. You're there to work, not make friends, and especially nothing more than that.

"Oh I think there is." Jungkook chuckles next to you. "I heard you and Kim Yongsun had something going on a few years back when he was shooting for Dazed." He says, and suddenly, you put your chopsticks down, even Lea looing over at you, an expression of both anger and worry on her face. You get up and leave with a respectful bow to your seniors, leaving the restaurant and Jeon Jungkook behind, who's looking at Lea next to him as if to ask what's suddenly wrong with you-

but even she shakes her head, turning back towards Haru next to her, no longer interested in talking to him.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

Kim Yongsun is, at the moment, a very successful actor. Having starred as a leading role in several dramas, he's right now shooting for a full length movie, though the news aren't really as interested in his career-

but more so in his love life, and the baby on the way.

Articles about this perfect and untainted lovestory are all over the place whenever you search up his name- this picture-perfect dream he's created about how he only ever loved his now wife Jane, how he's never looked at anyone before.

Such a liar, but then again- he's an actor, and that's what he's pretty talented at.

Having all of those memories revived made you nauseous yesterday, and it also made you dread coming to work today. But this is your job, nothing more, nothing less.

"There's my pretty bestie!" Lea instantly hugs you the next morning, swaying you around a little childishly, pressing her cheek against yours. With her tall body and a few years above your age, she feels like an older sister that you can trust, years of working together having glued your souls to one another it feels like. "Did you get home safe yesterday?" She wonders, and you nod.

"Went to bed right away." You explain, getting out your breakfast, another one for her as well. She tends to get up late, so you always buy her something on the way- otherwise she would constantly forget to eat.

"I'm gonna have to try so hard not to poke an eye out of that guy today.." The makeup artist growls, pouting as she picks up her sandwich.

"It's natural that he knows though.." Haru softly buts in. "It's not really his fault?" He attempts to justify.

"Yeah maybe, but ever heard of being tactful? I don't tell everyone that you had a crush on Alice either even though that was hella' weird." She bites back, causing Haru's cheeks to flush red. Though she's right- even if Jungkook knows about it, there was no reason to bring that up, especially if he knows the full story of it all. Is he really that mean?

Could be. After all, he's not been exactly kind up until now.

The moment he enters the workplace, he seems almost surprised to see you there as well- greeting everyone on set with a nod. He's here early this time, and you're not sure why he'd do that. He's got almost two more hours until you're supposed to be shooting- so why is he here already?

"I'll protect you." Lea threatens, suddenly pulling you close to sit you on her lap, glaring at Jungkook.

"Lea!" You hiss at her, worried she might get into trouble. She can be a little too 'out there' for her own good- and someone like that guy is not one to mess with. One bad article about your company, and she'll be blacklisted from ever working in the industry ever again.

It's how it works, beneath the surface. Most agencies don't want staff that are not loyal dogs.

"Good morning." Jungkook offers, walking closer with a slight saunter you've come to realize he has almost all the time he walks around. "Can I talk to you for a second?" He asks, and Lea buts in before you can say anything at all.

"No, I'm sorry, Jungkook-ssi." She snarls almost. "We have to start working soon. Please talk to the directors if you have any questions." She says, making Jungkook eye her a little, before he sighs.

"Alright, then I'll do it like this instead." He tilts his head a bit irritated, crossing his arms in front of him. "I'm sorry for speaking out of line yesterday. I didn't mean to upset you." He offers. Lea scoffs.

"Well, you still did." She mumbles, and it seems like now the beast shows it's real face as he looks at her.

"I don't think I've talked to you at all yesterday, so I'm not sure why you're barking right now." He challenges, making the makeup artist visibly surprised at the way he addresses her. "I believe she's old enough to talk for herself." The model argues, and you can practically feel Lea's rage beginning to buzz inside of her, and to avoid any sort of crime soon about to happen, you stand up, and push at Jungkook's shoulder to lead him towards the restroom area where you're a bit more secluded.

"I don't care about your apology." You tell him right away. "Neither do I care if you're truly sorry or just trying to appear that way. We're both here to work, and that's it." You say, while he stands in front of you listening with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Please do not invite me to anything you might want to do for the staff. I'm not interested." You finish your small rant.

"I always wondered what really went down, you know?" Jungkook says. "With you and Yongsun, I mean. He said that you hooked up with him, but honestly, looking at you, I can hardly believe that. No offense-" He waves off any potential anger you might have over the hidden message in that sentence. "-but you don't look like someone who fucks around." He shrugs.

"What do I look like then?" You challenge, now your arms crossed in defense. You don't like this situation in general. You just want him to leave you alone.

"I'm not sure." He admits. "But just between us-" He leans in a bit closer. "Yongsun is a cunt anyways. He drinks straight up coffee creamer- I mean, who the fuck does that?" he says, and at that, you actually have to laugh.

You remember that, years back.

"Listen-" Jungkook sighs. "-I know you probably have trust issues now, I'd have them too if I had to be with someone like that-" He tries to joke, "-but let's try and at least be civil with one another, okay?" He offers.

"You talk as if I was the one constantly picking fights." You bite back, a little annoyed again at the prospect of him victimizing himself right now.

"Yeah- it's a bad habit, sorry." He rubs the back of his neck. "I try and make jokes whenever I get awkward- and they don't land sometimes."

"You mean most of the time." you say, and he presses his lips together.

"Touché." He clicks his tongue, before he sways a bit on his feet. "Anyways, let's work well together, alright?" He offers his hand, and you shake it-

though you feel like this could be a terrible mistake.

[hyperpotamianarch]

Hello. Today, I'd like to make some random anecdotes about Rabbi Avraham Ibn Ezra - poet, commentator, linguist, mathmatician, probably not too bad at chess and cursed to be poor for the entirety of his life.

After a cursory look at his wikipedia page, I must admit I didn't really know much about his life: only that he was born and raised in Spain, went travelling, had terrible luck with everything, wrote his commentaries on the Torah for money (which I think didn't help with the "cursed to be poor" thing), befriended Rabbenu Tam in France, possibly married the daughter of Rabbi Yehudah HaLevi and promptly died... somewhere... oh, and also wrote lots of poetry in the middle.

Historically speaking, he lived at the end of the Golden Age of Judaism in Spain, around the 11th-12th centuries CE. This puts him right after Rashi - which allows him to snark at everything he thinks Rashi was wrong about, but before Rambam - which means he doesn't get to snark at everything Rambam got wrong. His commentary on the Torah leans a little towards the linguistic side, though he has a couple of other things going on as well, like roasting people he disagrees with (Ben Zuta is the only friend a bull has, anyone?) and dancing around verses he thinks were added later to the Torah, like every time it says "to this very day".

He also wrote one of the first math books in Hebrew - Sefer HaMispar, he wrote a poem about chess, one about how whatever he'll work at he won't get enough money. And generally, he wrote poems. Quite a lot.

I suppose at this point I should mention something: Hebrew linguists were, at the middle ages, predominantly Sepharadi. I mean, sure, there could be a non-Jewish Hebrew linguist, but for some reason I don't hear much about those. And there probably were Ashkenazi linguists, but there weren't many of them. Rashi does deal with linguistics - but half the time he does, it's using the books of two famous Sepharadi linguists. The Sepharadim, living in Muslim lands as they were, simply had a better background with learning Hebrew, since they were surrounded by speakers of a closely related language - Arabic. And Ibn Ezra's deep understanding of Hebrew led to him loving linguistic riddles, which I can never figure out - and I was reading an eddition with footnotes! Though maybe I didn't make enough effort or something.

But no, the reason I wanted to talk about Ibn Ezra was the impossible standards for poetry, as set by Sepharadi poets. You see, Jews were always influenced by their surroundings, in multiple facets. and poetry is definitely one of them. So, the influence from Arab poets includes strict rules for rhythm and - and this is what I actually wanted to talk about - rhyming.

The rythm thing is bad enough. Only once in my life have I tried keeping up with that. It was very, very hard. It's probably because I'm not used to this, but no song I write can keep a consistent rhythm and meter, and that's without trying to apply the standard Sepharadic rules. So trying to have such a strict meter... didn't work well for me. I guess I'm the frenchman from

וּמִי הֵבִיא לְצָרְפַתִּי בְּבֵית שִׁיר,

וְעָבַר זָר מְקוֹם קֹדֶשׁ וְרָמָס;

וְלוּ שִׁיר יַעֲקֹב יִמְתַּק כְּמוֹ מָן,

אֲנִי שֶׁמֶשׁ, וְחַם שִׁמְשִׁי וְנָמָס.

which was actually written about Rabenu Tam, but I'm a distant relative of his so this might still be applicable. Besides, as far as you know my name is Ya'akov, just like Rabenu Tam! (Sorry for not providing a translation, the gist is "how dare a frenchman trample all over poetry?!")

But rhymes. Oh, the Ibn Ezraic rhyming standards.

According to Ibn Ezra, one must always rhyme with the entire syllable. So no, just the last sound isn't enough. In Ibn Ezra's book, rhyme and dime don't actually rhyme - though I don't think he'd care about English at all. For the Ibn Ezra, shor and ḥamor can't be rhymed with each other; shor can rhyme with Mishor, and ḥamor can rhyme with har hamor, but you can't rhyme any other pair of those with each other. And I can't stay up to this challenge. It's nearly always impossible for me to find proper words to rhyme even without the extra demand for the rhyme to be the entire syllable. With English I don't think I even bothered or ever will. You have too many weird syllables for me. But with Hebrew... I do try with Hebrew, really. But I can't keep this up. And the most frustrating thing? It doesn't appear other Ashkenazi writers had this problem.

Now we get to the interesting part. I have been trying lately a new possible format for my very-anticipated-and-definitely-not-only-I-want-it Jewsade fanfic: introduction, preface and Haskamot to books. I just really enjoy reading prefaces for books, and one of my recent favourite pieces of writing is the conclusion piece of the Vilna edition of the Babylonian Talmud. If you're interested - it can be found in most editions of the Talmud at the very end of Masechet Nidah. The piece describes the trouble they went through to publish this edition of the Talmud and it's very interesting. Another favourite piece of mine is the preface of the Levush, a slightly obscure Halachic book from the time of the Shulchan Aruch. If you've ever seen me talk about the race to Halacha - this is my source for that, because the poor author was upstaged about three to four times by other people doing exactly what he planned on doing. I highly recommend this piece as well, though I don't know how easy it is to find. And the Levush - Rabbi Mordechai Yeffe - is a nice Ashkenazi guy. So he must be more lenient with his rhymes, right?

Well, I guess I didn't establish that part. Yes, the preface to the Levush starts with a poem. It's fun. It's great. It's also up to the Ibn Ezraic standard, while my attempt to write an equivalent is... not.

Huh. This post is oddly rambly. Ah well, maybe someone will like it. Anyway, the preface portion that really takes the cake is actually one from a fairly recent obscure book - like, this one was written barely a century ago. I only found it because one of my favourite singers, Aharon Razel, made a song out of it, but the song doesn't really capture the hilarity of the piece. Do ask me if you want to hear more, this one's great.

Signing off with a "darn you, Ibn Ezra! Why must you set such high standards!"

[acrid-wondrland]

Random Taiju Shiba SFW and NSFW Headcanons

🥳Happy Birthday Taiju🎂

In honor of his birthday, I'm gonna do some personal Taiju hcs.

Maybe Ill try and do this for each characters b-day moving forwards.

TW: Taiju lol. Violence. Traditional values. Religious intolerance. Potential internalized homophobia(?). Pregnancy.

MINORS DNI

SFW:

⛪️Taiju is a morning person. He gets up early and has a full breakfast every day, no exceptions.

⛪️ He doesn't go to the gym. His physique is purely from his active lifestyle, fighting, and eating a bery healthy diet.

⛪️Taiju is extremely meticulous. He HATES anything being out of place or unclean. Even if you're depressed, you'd better make sure to not be a slob around him.

⛪️Taiju will never admit it, but he does feel bad about abusing his siblings. Doesn't mean he's reformed though.

⛪️He definitely mellows out significantly as an adult, but he still physically disciplines his kids. He uses a belt usually; he's convinced himself it's a lesser evil than using his fists like he did on Hakkai and Yuzuha.

⛪️That being said, it's not an often occurrence. Meeting and getting close to Luna and Mana and seeing Mitsuya's style of raising his siblings has really had a positive effect on Taiju.

⛪️If he hadn't become a restaurateur, Taiju would've loved to become a marine biologist since he loves ocean life. Or open his own Aquarium.

⛪️Taiju wants a traditional marriage with traditional gender roles. He will be the provider and leader of the household, and his wife will be the nurturer and support him and raise his children.

⛪️Regardless of his sexuality, this is what he wants. If he's gay, he'd still go this path for the sake of his religion. It's tragic.

⛪️Once the kids are grown enough to be on their own, Taiju wouldn't be opposed to his wife opening a home or online business. He thinks it's healthy, and - as she fulfilled her "required" role - she can do as she wishes. Obviously she keeps all her money. Taiju thinks it's shameful for a man to take money from his wife.

⛪️He's intolerant of other religions.

⛪️That being said, he doesn't confront people about it unless they do him first. But he will definitely mutter something bitter to himself if he sees preachers of other religions on the street.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT.

🔞NSFW:

📿 Tied with South for the biggest cock. Like, it's really just massive.

📿Circumsized ofc. Slight curve to the right. When he's hard, it's so heavy it hangs downwards.

📿Loves receiving oral because he knows it's too big to fit in most mouths. He enjoys that his partner is forced to suck, lick, and kiss around him. It's like he's being worshipped.

📿Was a virgin before marriage.

📿Loves pregnancy sex the most tbh. Something about it is just so hot to him. Just the thought of the fact that you're growing his kid inside of you turns him on, nonetheless the visual.

📿Taiju fucks fast and hard. BUT, if his wife asks for something more soft and loving, he will indulge her. He has no qualms about showing the person he is bound to until death a softer side if she wishes.

📿However...he will NOT sub. There isn't any point in which Taiju finds the idea of being dominated or being submissive as arousing. It's just not fun for him.

📿He can do any position, as long as he's the one in control. Ride him if you want, but he's the one who's going to be controlling the speed and movement.

[waterfire1848]

Maybe an au where Ursa flees with Azula and Zuko?

Hello, anon!!!

The night that Ozai asks for the throne, Azulon doesn't call for Zuko's head but for Azula's. Like before, Azula is the only one there when Azulon orders Ozai to kill her. Terrified, she flees to her mother (because she literally has no where else to go) and Ursa is quickly able to see that something is really scaring Azula, this clearly isn't an act. Ursa eventually finds out what Ozai has agreed to and still provides him with a way to kill Azulon and get himself the throne. (Ozai: What do you want in return? Ursa: The children come with me. Ozai: Fine. Take the boy, but Azula remains. Ursa:...Fine. I will leave Azula here, but I'm taking Zuko. Ozai: I hope you two find a nice little peasant village to live in.) Of course Ursa is lying through her teeth because that night she takes both of her children out of the palace and runs away in the dead of night. (Ozai literally agreed to kill Azula a few hours ago. She's not just leaving her there). She gets them down to the boats and then has to deal with them screaming and demanding to know where they're going (but they're also 8 and 10 years old and very easy move) so Ursa gets them on the boat and they leave. (Yes, Azula does try to jump into the water and swim back to shore and yes, Ursa is very tired by the end of the night).

The three end up in the Earth Kingdom, near Omashu, and take refugee in a small village for a few days to get themselves together. Ursa's main plan is to just figure out where to go next because she has no doubts that Ozai knows that she took Azula is coming after them so she needs to get somewhere safe: Ba Sing Se. The only problem is that none of them have passports that'll get them into the city (actually they do have passports but it would look really weird if they showed up with Fire Nation passports saying they were members of the Royal Family). This means to Ursa that she has to either steal passports from another family or buy fake ones to get them all into the city. She opts for the first option as they're on a bit of a time crunch. (Ursa: I packed enough money to get us to the Huaxi Village. That'll get us half way to Full Moon Bay where we can catch a ferry and- Azula: I'm not going. I'll stay here and wait for dad. Ursa: Azula- Azula: I'm not going with you! I never wanted to come! Ursa: I wasn't going to just leave you there! Azula: I would have been fine! Ursa, who is tired: Ozai was ready to kill you, Azula!! Azula:....Ursa: Do you think he wouldn't act on it?! Because he was going to! Would you have preferred I leave you behind with a man who doesn't love you and wanted you dead just for the throne!?! Azula: *Runs off and hides in the bathroom* Ursa: Azula... Zuko:... Ursa:... Zuko:...These are good dumplings.)

The next day, Ursa takes both the kids and they start walking to Huaxi. It's a long, long walk, especially with two young kids, but they eventually make it there. Huaxi, because it's so close to Full Moon Bay, is filled with refugees, all of whom have passports. Ursa doesn't love the idea of stealing passports from another family but no one else has the Fire Lord coming right after them. She waits until Zuko and Azula are asleep then sneaks out (Yes, she has the Blue Spirit mask) and steals three passports, one for a woman and two children passports. (Zuko: Mom? Ursa: Zuko, you should be asleep. Zuko: Did you steal those? Ursa: Sweetie, we'll talk- Zuko: Did you steal those? Ursa: Yes. Zuko: I thought we weren't supposed to steal. Don't other people need those. Ursa: I don't like it anymore than you do, but if it's a choice between you and your sister and a random family, I'm going to make sure you and your sister are safe. These passports will get us to Ba Sing Se and you two will be able to live there in peace. Zuko: But- Ursa: You'll understand when you're older. Now, go to bed.) The next morning, Ursa is thankful for firebenders rising with the sun because the three of them are gone before anyone can realize their passports are missing.

They make it to Ba Sing Se and get inside the city with little issue, but are placed in the lower ring. Ursa doesn't care as much about that as her only real worry now is getting the kids inside and situated safety. Azula and Zuko, of course, do not like going from a Royal Palace to a tiny apartment that they aren't allowed to firebend in. Zuko kind of understands why his mom did what she did but he also hates the change just as much as Azula does. Ursa is too tired to deal with her kids anger so kind of ignores them which gets them, especially Azula, even more angry. One day, while Ursa is out looking for a job and a school for the kids, Azula and Zuko run away. Their plan is to go back to the Fire Nation because Ozai needs to have heirs so of course he'll take them back. Ursa arrives home that night and, when she finds, no one there, panics and starts running around the entire lower ring looking for her children. (Zuko: Azula, are you sure this is a good idea? Azula: I'm sure, dum-dum. We'll be fine. Zuko: It's just that...mom wouldn't have brought us here unless she thought- Azula: She stole us from the palace and dumped us in this chicken-pig sty! If you want to be a baby and cry about it, be my guest, but I'm going home. Zuko: I'm not a baby! I'm a prince! Azula: Then prove it and let's go home.) (Would you believe that yelling about how you belong in a palace and are royalty attracts attention?) Zuko and Azula are jumped by people who hear them yelling and the siblings are forced to firebend at them. However, these men are grown men and Zuko and Azula are children. The men are about to hand them over to the Dai Li (for a handsome reward) when Ursa jumps in (again Blue Spirit mask) and gets the kids out. Ursa and the kids have a heart to heart where she apologizes for not noticing how big a change this is for them and ignoring them. And the kids agree to give the city a shot, especially after Ursa promises that she'll make them traditional Fire Nation food and get them some red clothes.

Years go by, Ursa is working at the local library, Zuko is working at a tea shop and Azula is working at a combat studio. They've created a small life form themselves there, away from the Fire Nation, and are starting to finally break free of Ozai's abuse when they get word that the Avatar is in the upper ring. Getting curious, Azula and Zuko decide to go visit him where it's revealed that they're firebenders and the two admit to being Ozai's children. Aang, desperate for a firebending master, asks them to come along (who better to teach him how to defeat the Fire Lord then his children?). Zuko and Azula are hesitant to go, both because they don't want to return to their father and because they don't want to leave their mother, but when the issues with Long Feng start up, the three person family realize that they can't just stay hidden in the city forever and agree to help. (Yes, Ursa is coming with them because why don't these children have any kind of adult supervision?). After the fight with Long Feng and the Dai Li, Azula and Zuko start to train Aang as best they can while unaware that Long Feng spent a very interesting letter to Ozai about how two teenagers and a woman, claiming to be his wife and children, are in Ba Sing Se and helping the Avatar.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

First thanksgiving (Kelley O'Hara x Reader)

I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but I wanted to write something about it. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates it!

I don't know if this is any good and it's barely edited, but I hope you enjoy :)

Combination of these two requests:

I don't celebrate Thanksgiving so I think it would be cute if the player (I don't know who, can be anyone) teach R about the tradition and the foods and maybe R try to cook a family recipe and everything just been cozy and cute!

and

r x Christen or Kelley meeting c or k's family for the first time at thanksgiving, because r isn't a soccer player.

Words: 3.2k

Kelley headed for me as soon as she got home, slotting herself against me and the back of the couch. I had been lying down watching tv, but turned toward her to wrap my arms around her, pecking her lips. "Hi love. How was your day?"

"Long, but could have been worse. I missed you today. How did your interview go?"

I held Kelley closer, kissing her forehead, "I missed you too Kel. I think it went pretty well. They said they'll get back to me after thanksgiving. I'm still thinking about saving a bit more money and starting my own business. I already have a good chunk away."

"If you do, I'll support you every step of the way. I think you'll make a very sexy boss."

I rolled my eyes, pinching Kelley side making her squeal before leaving a lingering kiss against her lips, "Of course you do."

"Hey um talking about thanksgiving. I hope it's okay, but I told my parents about us and they invited you to thanksgiving. So um would you want to come?"

We had been together for quite a while, but our relationship had started out a bit complicated and I was gone the majority of the time so Kelley had avoided telling her family until things were a bit more stable. "Why would that not be okay? If you want me there then of course I will come."

"I know you don't know anything about it or celebrate it, but I would like you to come."  

"Then I'll be there."

---

There were ingredients and stuff scattered all over the kitchen, it was a mess so was I, but I was determined to make the best apple pie and pecan pie I could. Despite never making either or ever trying a pecan pie. Kelley said her family loved them so in an anxious, overthinking moment, I had decided to attempt it in hopes of impressing them. Kelley walked in, just stopping and staring at me for a few seconds. 

"What are you doing baby?"

"Um well you said your family likes these pies and I'm a half decent baker so I thought I would try. Maybe impress them. I um I'm going to make some small ones so you can try and tell me if I should just throw them out or not."

Kelley wiped some flour off my cheek before pecking my lips, "A bit nervous are we? Babe my parents will love you regardless of if you baked them a pie or not."

"Two pies actually."

"You're really determined aren't you?" I nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed by what a mess I was over this. "Why don't I help you? I've made them with my parents enough to know how they like it."

That help turned out to be Kelley sitting on the counter, talking about random things and constantly distracting me by pulling me in for make out sessions. The only real help she provided was telling me that her family liked more cinnamon in the apple pie and smaller pieces of pecan. If I actually thought about it, I would have realised she was doing it to stop me overthinking so I could actually enjoy the baking process. Of course it worked. Kelley always had a way of making me calm down, of stopping or at least reducing any overthinking or panicking thoughts. Given my time in the military, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence. 

With the pies in the oven and the timer set, I decided it was time to clean up. As soon as my hands entered the water, Kelley's hands covered my face. Though, her hands happened to be covered in flour. "Oh you little shit." I spun around, bubbles in hand, smearing them over her face. Kelley squealed, trying to run away, but my arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her into me before she could. I rubbed my face against hers transferring some of the flour. 

Kelley turned around in my arms, giggling her ass off, "You look ridiculous."

"Love, you don't look much better."

"We could make it worse." Kelley suggested with a smirk, letting me push her against the counter, lips connecting. Kelley ended up on the counter, me standing between her legs as we lazily made out. Since I got back we had definitely been making up for all the lost time. Pretty much every spare minute was spent either cuddling or kissing in someway. When the timer went off, I pulled away quickly, there was no way I was letting these pies burn. Kelley tried to pull me back in with a whine, but I gently pushed her away, "Nope. Get off, I can't burn the pies."

"Rude."

"You love it."

Later that night after the pies were baked and everything was cleaned up, Kelley and I were relaxing in the bath, her back against my front as I ran my fingers up her arms. Kelley had reassured me multiple times that my pies were pretty much perfect and that her family would love them. I only just believed her, but was trying to push my anxiety away. 

"So what exactly is thanksgiving? I know you eat a bunch of food with family."

"It's pretty much that. Thanksgiving is a time where you spend time with family, eat good food and be thankful to the things you have in your life. That's the short version anyway and all you really need to know."

"I'm thankful for you everyday Kel."

---

My leg had been non-stop bouncing since we left the house. I had met her teammates a few times, but this was different. This was the first time I had ever met any of my partners parents and ultimately Kelley's parents were the most important. Kelley was the only person I had ever imagined spending the rest of my life with, or actually wanted to spend my life with. For that reason I needed Kelley's parents to like me. I knew she loved me, but she also valued her family's opinions over pretty much anything. 

A hand on my knee stopped the bouncing and the lingering kiss momentarily settled the nerves.  "Baby, it'll be okay. Just be yourself and my parents will love you because I love you. Stop thinking too much into it and try to enjoy yourself. When you're ready we can go in okay?"

There was no point in pushing it out any longer so I took a few deep breaths and got out of the car before I freaked myself out more. Kelley laced her fingers with mine, squeezing gently as she knocked on the door. Who I assumed was her mum answered the door, pulling Kelley into a hug before inviting us inside where her dad was waiting.

"Mum, dad this is Y/n. Y/n my mum Karen and my dad Dan."

I held my hand out for her dad who took it with a slightly harder than normal grip, "It's nice to meet you sir." Before moving to kiss her mums cheek, "You look lovely ma'am, it's lovely to meet you."

Karen waved me off, pulling me into a hug instead, "You make us feel old with that sir and ma'am stuff darling, you can call us Karen and Dan."

"I made you some pies."

"Oh yes, Kelley told us you did. Thank you, they look wonderful."

I found myself alone with Dan as Kelley and her mum were doing something in the kitchen. Honestly, it was not a position I wanted to be in especially after only just meeting her parents. The anxiousness was bubbling up again, but I did my best to use my training and hide it. Being anxious in front of Kelley was one thing, being anxious in front of her parents was not ideal. 

Dan sat across from me on the couch, stern look upon his face. I shifted so I was sitting up straighter, legs crossed. "So Y/n, Kelley hasn't told us much about you. What do you do?"

"Um nothing at the moment," I admitted, quickly realising by the look on her dads face that it probably wasn't the right thing to say. I quickly spoke up again, "I was a medic in the army, my contract just ended and I chose not to reenlist. After 16 years, the majority of that away, I decided to take some time to just spend with Kelley and my family. I've started job hunting now."

"I could have guessed that one by the way you greeted us. You'll fit right in, I'm ex-navy and Kelley's brother is currently in the Navy. Are you going to do something healthcare related?"

"She did mention that. When I was younger I wanted to do something healthcare related weather it was a nurse or a doctor, but I joined the Army at 18 instead. There were some things that I experienced that definitely changed my desire to pursue it. I'm currently interviewing for security positions and looking into starting my own company a bit down the road. My dad used to have his own security company and I quite enjoyed hanging around and learning from him when I was a teenager."

He nodded along in understanding before his stoic, stern look reappeared, "How long have you been dating my daughter? What are your intentions with her?"

How long we had been together was a bit complicated. We had been talking to each other and seeing each other when I was on leave for about 2 years before we started officially dating. We were practically a couple during that time, just without the commitment. I didn't want Kelley to have to wait for me every time I went away and couldn't give her what she needed. My past relationship had ended with my ex cheating on me because of that so I didn't want to go through that again.

Kelley later revealed that she had never so much as looked at another person in that time and she had always considered us together. Then she had forced my fears out of me and convinced me to take a chance on her. It was the best decision I had ever made. I wasn't exactly sure what to say, I didn't know what Kelley had told them. Knowing Kelley though she probably included out non-committed dating. "Four years. My intentions are simple, I just want to love and support her for as long as she'll let me. I want to continue to make her laugh over stupid stuff, cheer the loudest at all her games and anything else she chooses to do. I hope to-"

"Dad stop interrogating her," Kelley spoke up, sitting on the arm of the couch, arm wrapping around my shoulders. 

"It's okay love. I can handle it."

Thankfully the interrogation stopped, instead moving into easier questions about my life and relationship with Kelley. The longer we talked the more relaxed I started to feel. They didn't seem to hate me which was a plus. The only thing left was to meet her siblings, which was still causing anxiety, but Kelley was either playing with the baby hairs on the back of my neck or with my fingers. It was enough to keep me in the moment, it always was. I slipped out to use the bathroom only to find my way into the kitchen where Kelley's mum was working on dinner. 

"Do you need any help Karen? I've never made most of this stuff so I can chop stuff up or something if you like."

"You can peel and cut those potatoes then slice the brussels sprouts in half if you like."

"Sure. What sort of food are you making?"

Karen started moving around the kitchen showing me all the different food she was making. There were a few things I had never tried like green bean casserole and stuffing. There was also a few things that I didn't like, one of them being the main component which was turkey. I would eat it anyway out of respect for Karen. Afterall, she was spending hours preparing food for us. After cutting up anything needed, I decided to stay and watch how things were made. There may come a day where Kelley and I hosted thanksgiving so I wanted some idea of what to do. Karen didn't seem to mind as she happily talked through what she was doing, giving me instructions to stir something or hand her things. 

"Mum, have you seen Y- nevermind she's there. What are you two up to?"

My arm wrapped around Kelley's shoulder, lips meeting her temple, "Your mums teaching me things."

"She's a pretty good assistant this one. I don't want to overstep, but I've been meaning to ask why you're not with your family for thanksgiving?"

"No, no not at all. We don't actually celebrate it. We moved here when I was younger and never picked it up, but it's important to Kelley so I'm trying to learn about it."

Kelley smiled up at me, squeezing my hand that still hung over her shoulder, "Erin and Jerry are here. Mum, can I steal your assistant away?"

Karen shooed us out of the room, but I pulled us to a stop just outside, out of the view of anyone. The nerves had hit me once again. Her parents seemed to like me or at least not hate me, now I had to make a good impression on her siblings. It was a lot of pressure because I knew how much Kelley's family meant to her. Kelley looked at me for a second before pulling me in for a tight hug, fingers running through my hair. "You're okay, this will be okay. I'll be right by your side. We can go when you're ready."

---

I found myself cuddled up under a blanket with Kelley outside as she caught up with her siblings. After the initial nervousness of meeting them, we had gotten to talking pretty much instantly. They had asked the same sort of questions as Kelley's parents, just less intense. Thankfully, they seemed to not hate me as well. 

They were doing most of the talking, while I just listened and fiddled with Kelley's fingers. Seeing how happy Kelley was with her family, made me happier than I could express. Her smile was one of my favourite things about her and even after four years, her laugh still made the butterflies in my stomach erupt. 

Just before my mind drifted back to marrying Kelley, her sister spoke up. "About time our girl brought someone home to meet us."

"What's wrong with her?" 

I wasn't sure what to make of that, if it was an insult or not so I kept quiet for now. Kelley on the other hand, didn't. "Jerry! What the hell?"

He put his hands up in surrender, "Sorry, I didn't mean that seriously, it's just you hid her from us for four years, there's got to be something wrong, extra toe? Hidden tail?"

"You're a dork. No, Y/n doesn't have an extra toe or a tail. Maybe don't tell mum and dad this, but things were a bit complicated to start with, I mean we were good, just complicated. Then she was gone on and off for the past two years and things just didn't line up."

"You did long distance?"

Kelley squeezed my hand, cuddling further into me. This time I decided to answer. "We did. I was deployed more than I would have liked, but we made it work."

"Now she's back and she's not allowed to leave me again."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

---

When Kelley was distracted with her siblings, I approached both her mum and dad, "Hey, can I talk to you guys in private for a minute please?"

They lead me to the outside seating area, sitting down across from me as I took a breath to calm me down. "Dan, you asked me earlier what my intentions were with Kelley and I never got to fully answer because she came in. Now I'm not asking permission because I'm not sure she would want that and ultimately it is Kelley's decision. In saying that I did want to let you know that I am planning on proposing to her. Kelley's it for me, there's no one else in this world that I want to spend my life with."

They looked at me for a few seconds before Karen smiled, standing up to hug me, "Good. She loves you so much Y/n. I've never seen my daughter look at anyone like she does you. She's happy, keep her that way and we won't have a problem."

Dan approached me, same stoic look from earlier before holding his hand out to shake, "We appreciate you letting us know. You continue to treat my daughter how she deserves and we'll welcome you to the family with open arms. Do you have a plan?"

"The only thing I want is for her to be happy. I don't have a plan yet, I've had the ring for a while, had it on me constantly since a week or so after I got back. I'm just waiting for the right time I guess. She deserves the best."

Karen smiled, "Maybe you'll find the right time while you guys are here, surrounded by family."

"You'd be okay with that? Me hijacking thanksgiving to propose to Kelley."

"Of course we would. It's a special moment in her life and we want to be apart of that if you want us to be."

"I thinks that's perfect. Do you do that thing where you go around saying what you're thankful for?"

"Not everyone does, but we do."

"Then I have an idea. We should get back though because I can see her looking at us through the window."

Kelley wrapped her arm around my waist to cuddle into my side. If you ever lost Kelley, she would likely be cuddled against me in someway. Every chance she got, she was attached to me. While I used to hate touch, I loved hers. "What were you guys up to? Were they interrogating you again?"

"Your parents were showing me around and we were talking. I wouldn't call it an interrogation so don't worry."

---

We sat around the dinner table filled with food and my nerves were starting to skyrocket again. It was a different type of nerves though, they were more a mixture of excitement, fear and anticipation compared to the anxiety and fear I felt earlier. I was about to ask Kelley to marry me. It was never my intention to do it the first time I was meeting her parents, but they had suggested it. I knew Kelley would love them being there.  Everyone went around saying what they were thankful for before Karen turned to me with a knowing look.

"Y/n, your turn."

My fingers laced with Kelley's which rest on my knee to stop the bouncing, "I'm thankful for a lot in my life, but I'm most thankful for the women who makes me complete. I'm thankful you stayed by my side over the years, even though I know it hasn't been easy. I'm thankful for all the times you make me laugh, the times you've wiped my tears and held me close. There's no one I'm more thankful for than you Kelley. I'm thankful that I get to love you and be loved by you. I love you Kelley, more than I ever thought possible. I will be forever thankful if you would say yes to this question," I stood up, dropping down to one knee and presenting the ring as tears shone in her eyes, "Kelley O'Hara, will you marry me?"

Kelley laughed, pulling me into a tight hug, "Yes, yes of course I will marry you."

"Did you guys know about this?"

Karen smiled, hugging Kelley, "She may have told us earlier. Welcome to the family Y/n."

[michirukaioureincarnate]

You know, with discussions of Neil Gaiman and all the disappoinment that's followed, especially of his admirers that are struggling with him not being the basic decent human being we expected and believed him to be, there's a lot of inner reflection that needs to be done to prevent more heart ache.

Not only that, but this is a wake up call to stop putting human beings on a pedestal. No one is above causing harm. Not you, not your mom, not anyone. Especially men. I don't know if this is just my way of thinking, but every single man is a potential s*x *ff*nd*r.

It's not a generaliziation, but an indisputable pattern after years of social, biological, political, and systemic conditioning. It's not a matter of if, but when, and sometimes the when never comes because the man luckily dies without tainting his slate. And if he does commit the crime, he's more likely to get away with it than his victim ever is of healing from it. The richer he is, the easier it is, but even men without power and resources get off with a slap on the wrist.

But that isn't really the point, and bear with me as I try to articulate myself through the nausea I'm feeling since stumbling upon the recent news. If you're hurt, disappointed, confused, and struggling with it because you have so much love for this man and his works: good.

You're not brushing it off. You're not acting like it's okay. If you're finding ways to justify your love for his art amidst the small voice of guilt in your chest, it's because you're a human being who, at your core, acknowledges that you don't agree with what he did. If there's an iota of fear that you may harbor the same negative qualities he does that compelled him to act so heinously, no you don't.

Before Gaiman was ousted as a predator, you knew him as a creative, a visionary, whatever positive perspective you had of him, and you wanted to admire that. Undeniably, Gaiman's a wonderful storyteller AND a s*x *ff*nd*r. The latter doesn't negate the former. But it's possible that it may have dictated some of his creative choices.

But how would you know which ones? You're not him, and you're someone who is self-aware and accountable enough to not do what he did when he hurt someone.

On that note: you are not him. You don't know him personally, neither does he know you personally. There's nothing to defend about him, because he's not yours to defend. His works aren't yours to defend.

That's his job.

Have some emotional boundaries and decenter yourselves from his life so that you're able to swallow the truth of the matter: that Gaiman's hurt real people who have to live with lifelong emotional and even physcial scars.

His actions have nothing to do with you as a fan or admirer, and the least you can do is withdraw your support until he, by some miracle, proves himself innocent and regains your trust.

YOU, as the consumer, are the prize here, not him. Have some standards for yourselves, my goodness. YOU, as a human being, are a completely separate entity from him and his actions. Gaiman would be nothing without those who actively decided on giving his works a shot.

And his ideas, whether you decide to continue consuming them or not, do not completely belong to him. Artists channel inspirations of life as they go through it, inspired by people they meet and events that happen to them, most of these things being external factors that are open to interpretation regardless of the artist's internal perspective that they present it with.

What you should worry about is if your money is going directly to him and his team, which may be used to suppress the victim's voices and provide him an unfair advantage in the matter. This is something that's still in your control more than anything else. Hell, pirate his stuff and consume it in secret if you really can't let go of it.

The conversations around "separating the art and artist" are important, and I personally don't believe in separating them at all, but a more immediate concern is to stop contributing to the artist through their art as soon as something concerning crops up. He's a business man, and you're his investors. Take your space. Breathe. Rationalize. And let his social stock value plummet, jfc, he'll still survive without your money and adoration. As long as you're not directly contributing to his ability to inflict more harm, allow yourself the space to grieve.

And, please, you're your own person. If anything, you're probably going to be the next writer, director, artist, etc who creates stuff that's on par with his or even better. Only difference will be that you won't be someone who actively hurts people.

[catboybiologist]

Hey I feel like I remember someone using crispr (or other gene editing method) to successfully edit her own genome and since I saw the article on tumblr and I think I remember her doing it for trans reasons it feels like something you'd know about. Google isn't helping, do you know who im talking about?

Yup I remember that.

Tl;Dr: I don't buy this instance of it, but there's some nuggets of theory that she built upon that are reasonable.

I'm gonna try to keep this brief and simple.

Here was the basic theory, extremely oversimplified: normal cell development follows a kind of "tree". A stem cell can become a couple different kinds of other stem cells that are more specific, and onwards, until they become "fully differentiated" cell types. These are the cells we know and love: nerve, skin, muscle, etc.

Stem cell research is so valuable because of this- "replacement" tissue can be generated for any other kind of cell with stem cells.

But in extremely rare cases, a process called transdifferentiation can occur. Essentially, a fully differentiated cell type becomes a different cell type without reverting to a stem cell state at all. Imagine a bit of heart tissue becoming an intestine.

It's an extremely poorly understood process. Like, EXTREMELY poorly understood, and the basic dynamics of how it works are a subject of active research. However, it's generally understood that in some organisms, under some extreme external circumstances, in certain cell types, it can be induced by adding in or blocking the right signal.

Based on one study that did a trial on natal male mice, there is a gene that, when knocked down, MIGHT cause transdifferentiation of testes cells into ovarian tissue, which would then secrete estrogens.

CRISPR is used to target a small segment of DNA and cleanly "cut" it out of the genome.

Now. What did this woman actually do?

Well, we don't have much to go on. It was a single thread, less than a paragraph in total, from a "bio hackers" forum. The only data provided was a text document of estrogen levels, one time point before and one time point after, and a diagram of the insert vector that would target the gene mentioned before. What she's claiming she did is inject this vector into her testes, and that the resulting estrogen level afterwards is from her being off HRT, and therefore is a result of ovarian tissue producing it.

But there's SO many confounding factors here, and SO little to go on. Self-professed "bio hackers" are kinda notorious for not having great ideas of what they're doing- not in a dangerous way, more in a "wasting time and money on things that don't work" way. And even for them, there's almost nothing to go on here.

Am I saying the entire thing is fake? Not necessarily, I don't like to jump to "people are lying". However, I am saying that there are too many confounding factors that could have easily kept E high for a long time to question Contrary to what popular media would have you believe, CRISPR is extremely fickle, and not well optimized for humans. I'm also saying that, without additional time points or verification of data, those hormones levels could just be taking a longer time to change.

In fact, I literally consider it more likely that transfemme HRT for extended periods of time might be able to cause transdifferentiation in extremely small amounts on its own. It's been possibly documented going the other direction:

I say possibly because there are other potential explanations that haven't been investigated yet, and it's never been studied in transfemmes. Either way, is it enough to endogenously produce hormones at cis female levels? Maybe, after a decade or so. But I want to see a lot more investigation into it.

Generously, I want to say that long term HRT did cause a lasting change- either the pituitary suppression of testosterone was so prolonged that it took a long time to rebound, or there actually is some transdifferentiation happening as a result of previous HRT itself. I don't think there's a world where the CRISPR actually worked.

Now. Is CRISPR to edit the genome to cause transdifferentiation of testes into ovarian tissue, that would be just enough of an ovary to produce estradiol, theoretically possible? Probably yes, actually! But did someone do it with no documentation, minimal funding, and then disappear afterwards? Not really buying it.

[chaeyapper]

thinking about kaeya being insecure + anxious avoidant who would isolate a lot... and it doesn't make him feel better whenever childe would try and reassure him

in fact kaeya gets uncomfortable, feels like he's a burden to tarts (because no one has ever loved him that much before, and still believes that no one ever should.) the more childe loves him, the more that kaeya withdraws since he feels like he doesn't deserve that much.

then i'd like to think that childe is insecure in his own way too. he would be unnecessarily doing too much for kaeya, may it be spending too much money/time on him or doing whatever acts of service

he's only doing too much of those because it's what makes him feel worthy of kaeya's love. even when kaeya tells him that he doesn't need to do all that, childe can't sit still when he isn't doing anything for kaeya. at one point he'd be so obsessed in doing so much for kae, sacrificing his personal needs and making his life revolve around providing love for kaeya. tarts subconsciously believes that if he can't do anything for kaeya, he'd be useless.

making both of their issues clash — kaeya getting overwhelmed and feeling extremely guilty (?) whenever childe does too much for him. then childe getting scared that he might have not been doing enough for kaeya when kae withdraws / pushes him away.

eventually both of them would get lost in their relationship. kaeya wanting to leave because he thinks childe deserves someone that can appreciate him and the love he gives better, to be with someone who can accept and reciprocate it instead. childe not knowing what else to do because he's sure that he has done everything he could to love kaeya, maybe it was still not enough?

maybe not really a breakup, but they would go on for a few months not seeing each other.

kaeya drowning himself in alcohol, not wanting to think about their relationship. deep down, he believes that it was probably his fault for not knowing how to appreciate his partner. he wouldn’t have the guts to face childe and communicate cause he doesn't have anything to say except for how he still feels undeserving of him. kae's aware that he's acting like this because of how insecure he is, yet he doesn't know how to stop being insecure.

childe on the other hand, i think would turn emotionally numb instead of an emotional wreck. he's burnt out and tired from doing so much, only for everything to result in this? oh he would go sparring more often to release his frustration, spend an awfully huge amount of time trying to get better at fighting because it would make him feel good about himself. yet at the end of the day he still feels hollow and useless now that he's no longer with his usual "doing everything for kaeya" routine.

but ofc i know both of them will get that resolved and help each other. (i won't let it end without comfort nuh uh)

kae would one day learn to see himself the way childe sees him. that even with all of his flaws, it's alright and those aren’t reasons to automatically consider himself unlovable. be comfortable with the fact that accepting love doesn't make him shameless. yeah he'd still doubt himself all the time, but childe would remind him not to be so critical of himself. childe would allow kaeya to take his time and get used to receiving love, until he can do so without the need to feel guilty / undeserving of it.

with childe, it would be extremely hard for him not to overdo it whenever he wants to express his love or do something for kaeya. though i'm sure once he realizes that habit is due to how he needed the validation there is whenever he did something good for kaeya [ how he gains a temporary feeling of fulfillment whenever he got good reactions from kaeya, which were like a reward after doing something ] , he'll learn to resist the urge slowly. kaeya would reassure childe as well that he's enough without having to constantly offer anything grand. he'd even encourage tarts to enjoy doing other things that make him genuinely happy whithout it having to be about providing for / helping other people.

... i really like the idea that kaeya is very insecure and the entire thing about him acting confident is just a mask. and that mask he uses to run away from himself falls apart the closer he gets with childe. he can't really hide his true self with the one he loves most right? but because of it, his true insecure and avoidant tendencies would come out.

then about childe having savior complex or somethin... his loyalty and dedication when it comes to things and people he love is a very admirable thing. but going deeper, why does he actually have those traits? what if it's because deep down, he's just scared of letting people down? what if because of that fear, he would always burn himself out doing to much, trying to consistently prove he's reliable?

( i am a huge fan of ships that involve the two characters growing emotionally together, not only growing old physically !!! ) *sniffles* they make me sick

and so i wanted to maybe use their potential issues against each other /j

i wanted to test those and use their relationship as a reason for their issues to come out? but for the better because after it, they'll be more aware of their insecurities which would result in them fixing those and maturing asdfadsfada

[amadeoapologist]

i also think armand fundamentally does not know how to make people happy because he himself is unhappy. i was talking with my friend about louis and how louis still uses human markers of wealth and success that lestat and claudia and armand don't understand. louis wants to own things, he wants to invest in profitable endeavors. i don't think he wants to laze about in his wealth, but he wants to work hard and have it pay off and he wants to see the tangible products of his efforts.

and i'm bringing this up in relation to armand because i think this mindset explains some of the disconnect in dubai, beyond just the circumstances with lestat that got them there. because louis feels lobotomized to me in his cold modern penthouse where he's disconnected from his food, he's disconnected from other vampires, he doesn't work. he buys and sells artwork he appears to have only a passing interest in, he's tempered his accent. he sleeps in a bed and not a coffin, he eats at the table.

and i've been trying to wrap my head around that and how he ended up there, but i'm starting to think a lot of that is armand trying to give louis what he thinks louis wants to feel satiated. louis wants independence and nice things and obvious markers of wealth. so. have this penthouse with the most coldly, impersonally stylish decor. acquire this expensive artwork and then sell it so you can buy something more expensive. if you won't hunt, then here--dine on fine china.

i'm not saying armand holds all the money or anything, we don't know their finances. but i could see him continuously providing louis with expensive things in the hopes that will satisfy louis' desire to feel successful (and also because he has a metric fuckton to make up for and this is one way he tries), but it doesn't because what is louis doing to earn it? money makes money and it seems like louis doesn't have to do anything any more but coast, which is, as armand fears, boring. but idk if he knows how to address that because armand doesn't understand louis' perspective in the first place.

i think i love and empathize with armand so much because he's the one character on the show who feels, at his core, like he isn't good enough. i don't think this is as much a struggle for louis or lestat or claudia, but i think it is for armand. armand is pathetic. he's morally void, and he's too damn weak to grow a fucking backbone and stand by his choices without couching them in lies, because he can't accept being perceived as someone who would make those decisions. he wants affection. he craves approval.

(lmao old school a/n here--i wrote most of this before the finale and damn......i was spot on re: armand couching choices in lies lolololol)

people keep making posts about how armand seems a bit too invested in daniel's opinion of him. and obviously there's an armandiel bent to those, but i also think it's because daniel is the most objective person in the room. he isn't objective because he's tangled up in their story, too, but he's outside of the partnership. he's a journalist. he's an archivist of some version of the truth. and i think he wants daniel to see him how he wants to be seen. he didn't want daniel to think he was boring in san francisco, and he doesn't want daniel to think he's boring now decades later. he wants the external validation from someone outside of his unit to tell him he did the best he could. which obviously daniel won't do, which makes armand want it more.

there's a very good chance i'm completely wrong and talking out my ass and just a pathetic armand apologist myself, but idk. every episode makes me more curious about him. i started season 2 really disinterested in armand and lowkey put off by his presence. but the season has shifted things for me slowly but surely, and now i think armand is one of the most interesting characters on the show. and that makes me love him even more.