#I'm trying to make a push to play games I've owned for years and never finished

[starlightcleric]

No no no no I am *so* close to the end of Divinity: Original Sin 2, I finally made it all the way to Arx again so I can actually finally finish the game, and I feel my interest starting to wane...

[whore-ibly-hot]

Best friend!Retro-gamer!Yandere x Fem! Or Transmasc!Reader

"My Player Two"

18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Dub-con, perverted thoughts, obsession, bullying, masturbation, cum play, begging, general perversion, dry-humping.

(AN: Merry early xmas or equivalent holiday, guys! I have given you all the present of rising from the grave to deliver some submissive yandere horny thoughts.)

A gentle tug shakes you out of your thoughts, making you sit up quickly and turn your attention to your friend, Lewis.

The curly haired brunettes tongue just barely pokes out between his lips, thick coke-bottle glasses slipping off his nose. He's trying his best to play his video game, whilst also keeping one hand on your shoulder. "Hey, I asked you somethin'!" He says, not glancing away from the screen.

"Sorry, just zoned out. Whatcha need?" You tilt your head and adjust your posture when he puts the hand from your shoulder back onto his controller.

"I was telling you that I think I'm real close to beating my Galaga score at the arcade on 54th. Real close to getting my initials up on that screen."

"That's great, Lewis. I'm glad all that practicing with your hands is paying off." He blushes at the encenuation. "You know, if you'd like you could come and see me, when I get that high score. It'd be pretty great." He grabs an old plastic cup by the side of his bed, handing it to you with a shake.

"I've even got a few coins for you, if you want them. Maybe we could play a couple rounds side-by-side, or I could use them, and get you a slushie or something from the prize counter." He looks at you hopefully, with large eyes. You giggle, and reach out to adjust his glasses, pushing them back up his nose. "Sure, Lewis. I can bring my own coins though how much you covet those coins." He chuckles.

The clock chimes 9:00 and your head whips over to see the time. "Oh, geez. I gotta get out of here, Lewis, I've got classes in the morning." He pouts a little, trying to think of a reason to get you to stay a little longer.

"Hey, maybe you could sleep over, just borrow one of my shirts. I'd hate to make you go home, plus I've got food here." He stands. You shake your head as you fumble around for your stuff.

"I can't Lewis, thanks though, I'll see you soon, okay? Uh, call me when you plan to go to the arcade, alright."

"Okay, goodnight then, Y/N..." he watches wistfully as you leave, trying to resist the urge to pull you back for just a few more minutes. He'd give you soda, or some more snacks. Lewis is hesitant to let anyone touch his controllers, but if you wanna play two player, he'll allow it, you'd just have to promise to be gentle. He knows you would be though, your always so gentle. With him, with animals and other people, (though he wishes it was him mostly.).

Lewis has never been popular at your school, it was bad in elementary, and only got worse when the social politics of high school kicked in. He was scrawny, freckled, and loved anything geeky. He was bad at sports and an only child, making him a little socially inept. He didn't care though, he may had wanted someone in elementary to play with, or in sixth and seventh grade to be his friend, but by eight grade year, it didn't matter. That's when he met you. Sweet, perfect you.

You were immediately popular at school. You were friendly, attractive, and outgoing, everything he tried and failed to be. Becoming your friend changed everything for him. He was still bullied and picked on, but it didn't matter. As long as you saw him as worthy, he was happy. His parents even stopped goading him about going out more, once they saw he actually had a friend, which just led him to have more time to stay indoors, with you and his consoles.

He lays on his bed thinking about how much you've meant to him, having set his controller aside, when he realizes the scent of your shampoo is still lingering on his pillow. You smell so good, and there's still a warm patch from where your laying.

"No... fuck." He whines, feeling his cock twitch to life from under his jeans. He runs a hand through his hair, fighting shame and carnal need. He quickly pokes his head around his blinds, making sure his parents aren't home yet. After deciding the coast is clear, He locks his door and gets under his bed, digging around for his book. Eventually, he finds the family photo fromthe christmas card your family sent his last december, just a couple months ago. He feels so dirty for jerking it to your family photo, especially considering your other family members pictures are on the page, but all the cute Polaroid pictures he has of the pair of you are still developing, and he really needs to look at you right now.

Normally, he'd just just turn on the adult late night channels, but he heard from some of the guys at school that usage of those channels are starting to reflect on cables bills, and he'd rather not get his TV taken.

In a moment of desperation, he kisses your photo once, before taping it up to his headboard, and grabbing the nearest pillow. Even though it's not you, and his cock desperately needs to be free from his jeans, he wants to make it romantic. He straddles the pillow, pretending in his head that this isnt weird at all, it's just.... practice for if, no, when he convinces you that he can provide reasons for you to love him.

"Y/N..." he huffs, looking down at the pillow and trying not to think about how embarrassing he's being. "I like you so much, I do, and I need-" he rolls his hips. "I need to be in you, I do." He tries to imagine what you might say.

"I know, i-its my first time too, but it'll be really good. I'll make sure I make you feel good, and I'll go really slow, even if I want to speed up." He begins undoing his pants. "You know, you thought you were being funny, making that dirty joke about practicing with my hands, but I bet some of that dexterity might carry over?" He chuckles, before groaning as he kicks off his boxers. "Stupid, that was stupid. Don't say that when this is a sure thing."

He looks down at his freckled dick, the tip red and leaking, slightly bulbous. He's pretty thin, but a decent length. He's sure if he figured out the right way to use it, he'd make you feel amazing. He's know you'll make him feel amazing.

"I'm gonna put it in now, okay? Y-yeah, yeah I'll go slow. Of course, I wouldn't hurt you or anything, unless you wanted that. I'd do anything for you." He groans, before rubbing his tip against the pillow and pumping his hips slowly. He pants, glasses fogging up.

"S' really good, not just on my dick but... but having you up against me, feels so nice to hold you." He clutches the pillow like a life preserver while he ruts away into it, whispering and panting praises and assurances to it.

"Gonna cum, god, I-I feel it coming. I wanna be a good guy, and pull it out but-" He moans. "You feel so good, I can't." He imagines in his head your on the pill, maybe for cramps, but... maybe just for him. "I-I can cum inside you? Really? Go's, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll do that. I'll give it to you, and I'll clean you up right after I- shit." He can feel himself losing control at the thought of ruining you, the sight of his cum leaking out of your holes. He moans loudly, though it choked back and emotional enough it sounds like more of a cry. Thick, white cum comes out in strings, all across the crisp white fabric of his pillowcase.

Once that post-nut clarity hits, he groans. How could he be so stupid? This pillow had to be cleaned now, and that would wash out all the remnants of your scent. He sighs as he chucks the pillow case into his laundry basket, and tucks his spent cock back into his jeans. Wiping off his fogged up glasses, he looks at the photo of you again, taking it down from his bedframe. He leans back against the headboard as he looks at it.

"M'so in love with you, I wish I had the guts to say it. I play the hero all day, everyday in my games, why can't I just be like them. Strong enough to get the girl, and keep her. Not jerk off to a pillow and a family photo." He tucks it back under his bed. He'll impress you, he's just gotta find a way.

Several days later, you got a call from Lewis to meet him at the arcade. Grabbing your keys, you head out.

Upon arriving, you enter, and see Galaga. Huh, Lewis's initials were already on the leaderboard! He must've won before you showed up. Heading outside, you hear grunting from an alleyway. Concerned, you peek around the corner, and gasp.

"Hey!" You yell, running up. The two punks who were standing over your battered friend turn there heads, only to snicker. It's two boys from you and Lewis's class.

"Oh, Y/N, perfect timing. This geek was getting taught a lesson." The jock snickers.

"What is your problem? He didn't do anything to you guys!" You push past them to try and help Lewis up, but he looks mortified to see you. "N-no, no Y/N, don't-"

"Yeah, he didn't do anything to us, it's about what he did to you, or maybe, what you did to him." You turn around, and Lewis pales. "What're you talking about?" Your brows furrow.

"This geek has been in that shitty arcade all day, playing that game. When he beat his high score, he started dancing like a little girl. We laughed at him, and he started going off. Yelling about how he didn't need our approval, and he wasn't upset. He had something we couldn't take from him. We asked him, and he said it was you." You tilt your head.

"Yeah, man. We knew this creep had been following you around for a while, but we didn't know he thought you were friends. We said we didn't believe him, and he got so upset he started claiming he was your friend, that you loved each other. Even, heh-" The two laugh. "Even that he fucked you."

"W-what?" You gasp and look at him. "Lewis?"

"I'm so sorry, I... I needed them to believe we were close, that you did care." He blubbers, reaching our weakly to your blurry form, glasses broken.

"He got graphic with it, too. Talked about condoms and taking you from behind up in his bed, since it isn't true, the little perverts been fantasizing about it for a while. If nothing else, we did you a public service, shutting this creeps mouth." The taller jock says, trying to put a hand on your shoulder.

"Don't touch them!" Lewis screeches, blindly lashing out, weakness replaced by a moment of fury. "Jesus, he's crazier than we thought. Need us to walk you home?" The jock winks. You shake your head vehemently.

"Just go." You say coldly, not turning to face them. "Whatever, bitch. Don't blame us if this sicko does something to you." Only you and Lewis are left in the alley now.

"Y/N..."

"Don't, Lewis." You snap, making him recoil into himself. "I trusted you, you were my friend, h-how could you say such lewd things about me?" You ask.

"I-I didn't meant them to be leed, I was just angry. I mean, I would like to do that stuff with you, but it'd be romantic! I'd never try and defile you or something shitty like that. Just please, can we go back inside?" He begs. "I'll get you that slushie like I promised!"

You shake your head. "I... I need some time to process all this, Lewis. I think it's best if we don't see each other for a bit." His face falls. Despite what's happened, you almost regret what you said. He looks broken.

He kneels before you, on the ground. "Y/N, no, please. Your my only friend, my best friend, I'm sorry! I'll never talk like that again, I'll do anything to make it up to you! I-I take hormone suppression pills, o-or... I don't know, take an abstinence pledge, just don't leave. Your my everything, my best friend-"

You've already left the alley when he looks up. A few game tokens lay scattered, meant for you but having been lost from his pockets during his beat down.

"No... you're supposed to be my player two..."

[markrosewater]

Hey Mark, I just wanted to say you've always seemed like a really cool guy. I've played magic for over 4/5ths of my life, since the early 2000s when I was only five years old, I even met most of my long time friends through it. But I think I finally feel alienated enough by it to drop it entirely.

I always enjoyed every aspect of this game, from the deckbuilding, to the flavor, to the color pie and the possibilities it presented. I loved the fantasy of it, of planeswalkers and wizards, dragons and castles.

Universes Beyond really was the end of it, all the way back then. When i heard the announcements I was terrified, I knew where it would lead even then. I loved the world of Magic, and it feels silly to say about a card game but I truly felt immersed in the world when I played, even with the different planes, everything cohered to an internal set of rules that seemed unbreakable.

For a while I continued, our local scene created a variant format that banned Universes Beyond cards so I was able to ignore them, but then came Neon Dynasty. It felt strange to me, like it was breaking what I had come to expect out of the game. Most people disagreed, said it was still Magic enough, but I wondered just how far it would be pushed before Magic lost any identity of its own, anything that separated it from Fortnite or any other crossover soup known entirely for the things it borrows rather than the things it is.

When I saw the first spoilers for Duskmourn, I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back. When I play at the table with my friends, I enjoy the fact that all the cards feel like part of one larger universe. And when I see cards with televisions and smartphones in them, with modern clothing and internet references, I just can't fit them together in my mind. It seems like a cool world, much like a lot of the crossovers are cool worlds, but I play Magic for well... Magic. If I wanted to play Fallout or Warhammer 40k, or watch Insidious or Walking Dead, then I would. But when I play Magic, I want to see magic.

And it's canon, just as canon as Innistrad or Alara. We can't excise it like we can Universes Beyond, and if we can't, then what's even the point of trying to "protect the tone" with those bans? What tone are we protecting, that's already been shattered from within?

More and more it feels like the game just isn't for me, doesn't want the kind of player that feels strongly about cohesion and immersion. And that's fine, it doesn't have to cater to me, and the current approach seems to bring in more people than it drives away. But it still just makes me sad, on a deep personal level, to give up on what has been such a major part of my life.

In all likelihood, I'm an outlier, and you could easily say that Magic getting even broader in what it covers is only a positive thing. Take my critiques only as the lamentations of a single person. But when you can put anything in a piece of media, when there's no unifying idea of what is and isn't possible, then it just starts to feel meaningless.

I'm sorry, I know you'll probably never read this, I mostly just needed to get it off my chest- and you're the closest thing to a human face Magic the Gathering has. Thank you for all the work you've put into it over the years, and I'm sorry that I can't enjoy it anymore.

Thanks for writing. From a big picture, Magic excels at creating variety and does poorly at consistency. The core idea of a trading card game is we make lots and lots of pieces you can play with and then you, the player, customize your game as you see fit. History has shown us, the wider we spread the potential of what Magic can be, the more people find something they enjoy and are attracted to the game.

Think of it this way. Each player has a different sense of what Magic is to them. There's no cutoff point where we make the majority of players happy. In fact, for many players, it's the ever-expanding quality to the game that they enjoy most.

This does mean though that we might make choices that don't connect with what you personally enjoy, and I respect that. If Magic isn't providing what you want out of it, that's okay. My only recommendation is don't get rid of your cards. Many Magic players rotate in and out of the game, and the number one complaint I hear from players who rotate back in is them having gotten rid of everything when they rotated out.

Magic might not be what you need right now, but maybe a few years from now you've changed in ways which makes it something you will enjoy. Or maybe Magic will evolve in a way that speaks to you. The only constant I know is you and Magic will both change. Just leave yourself the possibility of reconnecting.

Thanks for playing all these years, and I hope to see you again.

[lucy90712]

Ruben Dias fluff!! Any thing you want, I trust you

Having kids is the most stressful and rewarding thing I've ever done but I wouldn't have it any other way. The biggest downside is that Ruben doesn't get to be around as much as he's like to as he's always got training or matches but when he's around he always spends every second helping me or playing with our oldest son Milo even if he's tired he treasures every second he gets to spend at home with us. 

Since I gave birth to our daughter Ruben has barely been home he got a couple of days off training and then it's been all go since. There has been matches every weekend and then champions league during the week so he's hardly been home which makes life difficult. Caring for a newborn and entertaining a two year old on little to no sleep is exhausting but Ruben helps where he can and he even gets his brother to come over when he's not around which is a great help. 

This weekend Ruben finally has a few days off after such a packed schedule Pep gave all the players a couple days off training to rest and recuperate ready for the next run of games. Rest isn't a thing in our household right now but I don't think Ruben minds he just wants to be home and actually spend time with the kids. I know he feels awful that he hasn't got to bond with our daughter Alice as much as he'd want to as he's not here during the day when she's awake and looking around but I always send him pictures and videos so he feels like he's involved too. 

Just like every morning I expected to be woken up at the crack of dawn by a toddler screaming in the baby monitor and a newborn crying right next to my head. When I woke up and saw that it was nearly 9am I freaked out and then when I saw that the baby wasn't in her bassinet I nearly had a panic attack. That's when my sensible brain took over my mum brain and I realised that Ruben also wasn't in bed next to be so he must have Alice and that made me feel so much better. After I calmed down I got out of bed and headed downstairs where I could already hear the chaos which is weirdly nice to hear. When I finally made it downstairs I saw Ruben in the kitchen holding Alice while trying to make pancakes and with Milo at his feet. I took Alice from him quickly so he could focus on breakfast but before I knew it I was also holding Milo as he's definitely a mama's boy and he doesn't like to leave my side when I'm around. 

"Thank you for letting me sleep in you didn't have to do that I know you're tired too" I said 

"You don't have to thank me I know you don't get much sleep and you need it to deal with those two I get to sleep when I’m away for matches so it's only fair that you get to have a lay in" he said 

"Well I still appreciate it I feel like a new woman now" I laughed 

"Good and I've got breakfast all ready for you" Ruben said while handing me a plate of pancakes 

We ate breakfast as a family or our version of eating as a family which is taking a bite of our own food every few minutes after having to cut bits up for Milo and sometimes having to feed it to him when he refuses to eat. Then more often than not Alice seems to sense when I'm eating and all of a sudden wants feeding so I have to eat with just one hand. Ruben had managed to get Milo to eat all of his pancakes while I still had a mostly full plate as I was feeding Alice so Ruben switched his attention to me and cut my pancakes and fed them to me like the perfect husband he is. 

To spend some quality time together Ruben suggested we go to the park and seeing as I've got him to help me I had no reason to disagree. He took care of getting Milo ready while I got Alice ready and we made it out the house as a family of four for the first time which sounds crazy as Alice is three weeks old now but Ruben's been around so little we haven't had the chance to go anywhere all together yet. Leaving the house is never easy but eventually we got out the house with me having Alice in the carrier and pushing the stroller while Milo walked as he refused to get in the stroller. 

The walk to the park isn't a long one so we got there pretty quickly and when we did Milo took off and made a beeline straight for the slide as he loves going down the slide. Ruben followed close behind while I found somewhere to sit with Alice as she was due a feed before she naps again. Watching Ruben play with Milo made me a little emotional hearing Milo laughing as Ruben chased him around the park is exactly how I pictured parenthood there is no better sound than hearing your child laughing it always fills my heart with joy. Milo can be difficult at times which I think comes down to missing his dad but I couldn't care less about that when I get to see the two of them happy and playing together. 

"Mama come play" Milo said as he ran over to me 

"I would love to play with you buddy but mama's still recovering I can push you on the swing if you'd like though" I said 

"Yeah let's go mama" he said running off again 

I gave Alice to Ruben so I could push Milo on the swing which he thoroughly enjoyed he wanted to go higher and higher until I physically couldn't push him any higher. As he was swinging Ruben started to pull faces at him from across the park which only made him laugh more. This is exactly why I think Ruben is the best dad he has always been so great since the moment Milo was born our kids just love to be around him as he always makes them happy. It wasn't long before Milo wanted to get out of the swing so I got him out and he dragged me off to the rest of the play equipment which I wasn't going to go on as I'm only just three weeks post partum but I just can't say no to him. We climbed up the climbing wall and ran around the little castle type thing it brings you to before going down the slide which was more than enough for me. 

We stayed at the park for a while longer until Milo had run out of energy and climbed into the stroller himself. Ruben took the stroller which now also had Alice in too and held my hand as we walked back home. Both kids fell asleep in the stroller so Ruben and I kept walking even when we went past the house so they'd known stay asleep and we could have some peace. We decided to walk into town and got some fresh bread and other things to make lunch when we got back home. As soon as the stroller stopped Milo woke up and wanted to get out so Ruben unbuckled him and off he went to play with his toys. 

Our afternoon started out much the same as our morning with us trying to get Milo to sit still long enough to eat lunch and then we went straight back to playing. As a family we all played with Milo's trucks and cars in the little world he's created where they all have a role. The things kids come up with is just fascinating their little minds are so creative. Before Milo was born Ruben and I spent countless evenings wondering what kind of personality he would develop but I would've never predicted that he'd be such a character he's always making me laugh with the things he comes out with but he's also such a kind little boy he always thinks about me and his sister. 

After a long day of running around and playing the kids were definitely tired and of course right after dinner Milo cuddled up to my side and fell asleep while Alice slept on my chest and Ruben had his arm around my waist as I leant against his shoulder. We took a few moments to just relax and enjoy the calm as that doesn't happen often. Eventually Ruben picked up Milo and took him to bed and I was going to put Alice in her bassinet and grab the baby monitor but he told me to stay put and he'd do it and I wasn't going to argue. He did exactly what he promised and then he came back to bring me upstairs as he'd started to run me a bath. 

I enjoyed my bath very much it was so relaxing I could feel the tension in my muscles that had built up over the last few weeks just disappear in the warm water. When I got out Ruben had pyjamas ready for me on the bed which I changed into and joined him in bed. He pulled me into his arms and started to press kisses all over my face which I've missed so much as I either sleep alone while Ruben is away or we don't get a moments peace as Alice has always been fussy at night. Tonight everything was quiet and it was amazing Ruben and I could enjoy some quality time together which we haven't had in a couple months. 

"I don't know how you deal with this all day everyday I'm exhausted" Ruben said 

"You get used to it some days they are calmer than others I think Milo was just excited you were around" I said 

"I'm sorry I haven't been here more I know the kids miss me but I can tell you miss me too even if you want say it" he said 

"It's ok I know why you aren't around it's not like you're out with friends while I'm here with two kids and yeah I miss having you here but that's selfish so I don't mention it" I admitted 

"Its not selfish you're allowed to feel like that and wish things were different I understand that things are hard and you'd like me to be around to help more that's not selfish I promise" he said 

"Everything is worth it though when we get moments like today and when Milo gets to watch you play on tv the hard moments don't matter anymore" I said

"I can't wait for Alice to come to her first game even if she doesn't remember I still remember when you first brought Milo along that was up there with one of the best days of my life" Ruben said 

"Maybe once we've both had our six week check up I'll bring her along to a game but we'll need to get her some little ear defenders" I said

"Of course but remember if you aren't ready you don't have to stick to that I'd much rather wait until you'll actually have a good time as it's supposed to be a good memory for all of us" he said 

We talked for a bit longer before Ruben turned a movie on and I knocked out within a few minutes as I didn't realise how tired I was but I fell asleep feeling completely happy and fulfilled.

[ilylovelyz]

hi, I love your works !! (I think that's a bit obvious, considering I almost liked all of your Haikyuu.)

They're quite pleasing to read (especially the smvt, they're nicely written.)

I've never asked a request before so I hope I'm doing this right lmfaofao. Anyways, I was wondering if we could get Big!Ushjima X shy v!rgin afab gf <3 reader !Timeskip.

I think you've written something with this pair before, but I thought the story could go something like: Ushjima and his team lost a match, he's quite furious about it, and he just needs to let out his frustration, so he simply uses reader <33. (low-key breaks reader in two..) And you may add anything else you think can go with it!!

Thank you, and please take care!!

⍣ ೋ better than me

˚ · . ushijima wakatoshi x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ virginity loss, dubcon, forceful breeding, ushi has a big peepee, dumbification, slapping, cervix fucking, gaping, fingering, minor age gap (2 years)

"toshi-" you manage to say before you're being slammed against the enterance door of his house. "what are you- ow! that hurts toshi!" you cry, tears burning at your waterline when ushijima roughly pulls down your skirt and panties.

this is so confusing, you've never seen him like this. i know he's lost a big game, but he's lost plenty others and never acted like this.. you think as your chest heaves against the door.

you wince in pain when he brings his hand down onto your ass, showing no mercy on your most fragile parts. ushijima shoves himself against you, grinding his hard-on into the plumpness of your ass. he brings his nose into the crook of your neck, inhaling your intoxicating scent deeply as he nibbles onto your shoulder.

you moan softly at the pleasure, for a moment he seems to be gentle with you, his hands roaming your body gently, slipping underneath your shirt and bra to fondle and play with your breasts. "toshi.. what's wrong baby?" you coo, turning around to face him. you cup his face into your palms, softly petting him.

his eyebrow twitches uncontrollably, his eyes dark and jaw clenching. oh. he looks at you so sickeningly, as if you're a sweet little bunny and he's the big bad wolf. you try to lean in to place a kiss on the tip of his nose, but he doesn't let you. instead, he turns you back around, tearing off the rest of your clothing.

your face flushes with embarrassment, you can feel his gaze. this is the first time any man has ever seen you fully naked. ushijima wastes no time to lower his hand to your damp folds, his fingers prodding at your throbbing cunt. "nooo.. it's dirty there," you say meekly, wiggling in ushijima's hold.

suddenly, a searing pain races throughout your body. ushijima inserts two fingers without warning into your untouched hole, stretching you out far and wide. "ahh-" you cry, not knowing if you should cry, yell or pass out. ushijima has big hands after all.

it feels like an eternity before the pain settles down, and soon you're moaning like a little slut and humping against his palm. ushijima gladly inserts a third finger, scissoring inside of you and working into that sweet spot that has your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

ushijima is quick to make you cum. the feeling, so foreign to you, has your legs trembling, struggling to keep you standing. you can't think of any words to say, your orgasm hitting you so strongly you forget that you're on earth.

when you come to, you're laying across the doormat, your knees resting on top of the cold wood flooring. ushijima is on his own knees behind you, guiding his fat cock's tip towards your poor virgin hole.

before you can protest, your body goes limp, every thought in your mind has perished as his fat cock stretches you out. you only gurgle and make small whines as you're ripped apart into two.

ushijima gives you a moment of rest before he's snapping his hips into your ass cheeks and his cock tip is suddenly pushing against your cervix. you jolt at the sudden pain, but god, does it hurt so good.

placing his hands on your waist, ushijima forces you up and down his cock, using you like a fleshlight. his hands guide you up and down on his cock, so devastatingly slow yet deep. you can barely breathe, it feels like he's trying to break open your cervix and reach as deep as possible.

your tight virgin walls suck onto his cock, sucking him back into you. it's almost painful, the way he's taking you for your first time. on the dirty ground, in front of the enterance door, on the doormat that was stepped over a million times and cleaned zero times.

such a dirty place for a virgin like you. but thats why he loves it. to take a sweet little innocent girl like you and have her first time on the dirty floor like a common whore and have her first taste of large cock, ruining you for everyone else but him.

"y/n." he finally speaks.

he lays down a hand onto your ass in an attempt to catch your attention. his cock twitches inside of you when the only response he gets is an animalistic groan. perfect.

he takes it up a notch by pulling his cock out to only the tip before he harshly slams back into your quivering pussy, your body jolting from the harsh treatment. he pummels his hips into your ass, enjoying the way it lewdly jiggles. he can feel the tip of his cock kiss your cervix opening with every thrust.

you're practically braindead at this point, eyes stuck at the back of your head as he takes you like some common whore. you don't even acknowledge when a painful orgasm washes over you when ushijima's cockhead for the moment pops through your cervix.

but he does. in an effort to do it again, he shifts his entire weight onto his hips. his cock feels like it's stabbing through you, you're sure it's bulging through your stomach right now.

finally, your cervix breaks. you break, and let him in. he groans at the thought of breaking his cute girlfriend for her first time, impossibly stuffing his cock further up your pussy.

with a grunt, he's stilling his hips, flush with your ass, emptying his fat load straight inside your womb. your legs tremble with overstimulation as you cum once more as you're bred for the first time, the warm feeling of being stuffed full is the only thing you can think of.

with a satisfied sigh, he sits there patiently. he doesn't want a single drop to be wasted.

please leave a like and reblog if you enjoyed!!

[zesty4zenin]

Hi Pebblesss! I’ve never done a request before so hopefully this is okay ^_^

I was wondering if you could do a yandere Nanami with fem! Reader who was all bark and bite when he first kidnapped her. Spitting curses at him and trying to escape every chance she got, until she finally just gave up. Becoming his pliant little dove and eventually falling for him. Maybe a bit of smut at the enddd? :333

“𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐌𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞.”

YANDERE!KENTO NANAMI X FEM!READER

In which Kento acts on his feelings.

WARNINGS: Smut, Kidnapping

"YOU ASSHOLE!”

Kento sighed deeply as you hurled another curse at him, tightly wrapping yourself in the blanket of what he now considered 'your' room. The room, once unfamiliar, was now filled with your scent and presence, making it a sanctuary for him, but a prison for you.

You despised him. Your life had been perfectly fine at home, surrounded by your belongings, your memories, your freedom. So why did he have to ruin everything?

But what you didn't know was that Kento had his reasons.

He was in love with you. From the moment he first saw you during your first year at Jujutsu High, he knew you were the one. Your kindness, your strength, your smile – they all captivated him. Fearful that something might happen to you in the dangerous world of sorcerers, he took matters into his own hands.

He had informed the higher-ups that you had retired from active duty, concocting a plausible story. Then, under cover of darkness, he brought you to his home, a place he deemed safe and secure.

But it seemed you couldn't comprehend his feelings.

"Take me home, Kento! I want to go back to my own house," you demanded, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and desperation as you threw a pillow at him.

Kento caught the pillow with ease, his expression softening as he looked at you. "I can't do that," he replied softly, placing the pillow gently on the bed. "I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to you out there. You're safe here with me." His tone was gentle, yet resolute, as he tried to convey the depth of his emotions.

"You don't get it, do you?" you snapped, your eyes burning with tears. "Fuck this and fuck you."

Kento stepped closer, his eyes filled with a mix of sorrow and determination. "I know you hate me right now, but I did this because I love you. I can't risk losing you to this cruel world. I won't let anything happen to you."

You turned away from him, frustration bubbling over. "You can't just decide what's best for me. I had a life, Kento. Friends, a home. You took all that away."

"I know," he said quietly, his voice almost a whisper. "But in time, you'll understand. Everything I did, I did for you. To protect you."

You remained silent, your heart heavy with conflicting emotions. Deep down, a part of you could see the sincerity in his eyes, but the overwhelming sense of betrayal clouded your judgment.

THE NEXT FEW DAYS…

Kento was getting annoyed.

Don't get him wrong, he still loved you very much, but this little game you kept playing was getting old very fast.

"Let me go! Let me go!" you squealed, struggling in his firm grasp, your hands pushing futilely against his arms in a desperate bid for freedom.

Once again, Kento had caught you trying to escape. You'd lost count of how many times you'd attempted to run away this month alone, each time hoping that maybe, just maybe, you'd succeed.

"Sweetheart, I've told you this before, it's no use. I know when you try to leave," he said with a sigh, his voice calm but tinged with frustration as you continued to struggle against him.

Your eyes burned with a mix of fear and defiance. "I’m not staying here, Kento. You can't keep me like this!”

He tightened his grip slightly, enough to stop your wriggling but not to hurt you. "I'm doing this because I love you. I need you to be safe, to be with me. You don't understand how dangerous the world is."

You shook your head, tears starting to form in your eyes. "I don't care! I'd rather take my chances out there than be trapped here with you."

Kento's expression softened, though his grip remained firm. "I know it's hard, but in time, you'll see that this is for the best. I'm protecting you because I care about you more than anything. Can't you see that?"

You stopped struggling for a moment, looking up at him with a mixture of sadness and anger. "Let me go. I don’t wanna be here."

His eyes flickered with pain at your words, but he remained resolute. "I know you feel that way now, but you'll understand one day. Everything I do is for you."

Your shoulders slumped in defeat, the fight draining out of you. "I just want to go home..."

He held you close, his voice barely a whisper. "You are home, sweetheart. You're safe here with me."

Tears fell down your face as you realize there was simply no point in continuing to fight.

So, you stopped fighting him, letting yourself become pliant in his arms. The struggle left your body, replaced by a heavy resignation. Kento noticed the change immediately and a small, relieved smile tugged at his lips.

"I'm glad you're starting to understand," he said softly, loosening his grip and letting you go. He watched you carefully, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of rebellion.

To his surprise and satisfaction, you quietly turned and walked towards your room without a word, without a fight. You could feel his gaze on you, heavy with anticipation, but you kept your steps steady and unhurried.

As you reached your room and stepped inside, you heard a soft chuckle behind you. Glancing back, you saw Kento standing there, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "Good girl," he murmured, more to himself than to you. "I knew you'd come around eventually."

You closed the door behind you, leaning against it as the reality of your situation washed over you. The room, once a place of confinement, now felt like a small refuge where you could at least have a moment of peace. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

Outside, Kento stood for a moment longer, his smile lingering. He felt a sense of triumph, believing that his love and persistence were finally paying off. He walked away, content, feeling that his dreams of a peaceful life with you were now within reach.

A few hours later, loneliness crept over you like a suffocating blanket.

The silence of the room pressed down on you, amplifying every little noise and making the walls feel like they were closing in.

You needed comfort, human connection, even if it came from the person who had taken your freedom.

Quietly, you opened your door and made your way to the living room. The soft glow of the TV illuminated Kento's figure as he sat on the couch, his attention focused on the screen. He didn't notice you at first, too absorbed in whatever was playing.

Hesitantly, you walked over and stood beside him for a moment, unsure of how he would react. When he finally glanced up and saw you, his expression softened, and he shifted slightly to make room.

Without a word, you climbed into his lap, settling yourself against him. You could feel his body tense for a moment before he relaxed, wrapping his arms around you in a gentle but firm embrace. The warmth of his body seeped into yours, a comforting presence that you craved.

You laid your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. The sound was soothing, grounding you in the present and easing some of the loneliness that had been gnawing at you. For a moment, the world outside faded away, and all that existed was the warmth of Kento's embrace.

Kento's hand stroked your back gently, his other hand resting on your thigh. "I knew you'd come around," he murmured softly, his voice vibrating through his chest. "This is where you belong."

You didn't respond, closing your eyes and letting yourself be enveloped by his warmth. For now, you pushed away the thoughts of escape and resistance, allowing yourself to find some semblance of peace in his arms. The comfort he provided was a stark contrast to the anger and fear you'd been feeling, and you clung to it, if only for a little while.

As the minutes passed, Kento's hold on you tightened slightly, as if reassuring himself that you were really there. "I'll always take care of you," he whispered, his breath brushing against your hair. "No matter what."

In that moment, you let yourself believe him, if only to quell the aching loneliness inside you. The future could wait; for now, you just needed to feel safe and held, even if it was in the arms of your captor.

You shifted slightly, finding a more comfortable position in his lap. Kento adjusted as well, making sure you were securely nestled against him. His fingers traced soothing patterns on your back, the repetitive motion lulling you into a sense of calm.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore," he continued softly. "As long as you're with me, nothing can hurt you."

His words, though meant to reassure, were a stark reminder of the control he held over you. Yet, the desperation for human contact and the warmth of his body made it hard to focus on anything else. You knew this peace was temporary, a fleeting moment in the midst of chaos, but you allowed yourself to sink into it.

Kento's hand moved to gently cradle your head, his fingers tangling in your hair. "You mean everything to me," he confessed, his voice filled with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. "I'd do anything to protect you, to keep you safe."

You swallowed hard, trying to suppress the emotions welling up inside you. It was difficult to reconcile the man who held you so tenderly with the one who had taken your freedom. The lines between love and obsession blurred, leaving you feeling more confused than ever.

"I'm here now," you whispered, more to yourself than to him. "That's all that matters."

Kento's arms tightened around you, as if trying to fuse you into his very being. "That's right," he agreed softly. "You're here, with me. And that's how it will always be."

For now, you allowed yourself to believe it, finding confort in his arms.

—

A few months passed, and the initial resentment and fear you felt began to fade. Kento's unwavering care and the constant presence of his comforting embrace gradually chipped away at your defenses. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, you found yourself falling in love with him. The lines between captor and protector blurred, leaving only the bond that had formed between you.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon and cast a warm glow through the living room window, you found yourself waiting for Kento to come home. The house, once a place of confinement, now felt like a home, filled with memories of shared meals, quiet conversations, and moments of tender intimacy.

You sat on the couch, a smile playing on your lips as you listened for the sound of his key in the door. When you finally heard it, your heart skipped a beat in anticipation. The door creaked open, and Kento stepped inside, looking weary but content.

"Kento," you called softly, standing up from the couch.

His eyes lit up when he saw you, and the weariness seemed to melt away. He set his bag down and approached you, his expression softening.

You wrapped your arms around him, hugging him softly. "Welcome home," you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

Kento's arms enveloped you, holding you close. "It's good to be home," he murmured, his voice filled with warmth and relief.

You pulled back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. "I missed you," you said, your fingers brushing against his cheek as you leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was tender and full of affection, a silent acknowledgment of the love that had blossomed between you.

"I missed you too," he replied, his hand resting on the small of your back as he deepened the kiss, savoring the moment.

When you finally pulled away, you led him to the couch, where you both sat down, still wrapped in each other's embrace. "How was your day?" you asked, genuinely interested in hearing about his time away from home.

He sighed contentedly, a smile tugging at his lips. "Better now that I'm here with you," he said, his eyes shining with love and gratitude.

As you rested your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest, you realized that despite the unusual circumstances that had brought you together, you were starting to be happy.

This wasn’t as bad as it turned out to be.

You turned your head to face him then pressed your lips to Nanami's once more, your arms wrapping around his neck. His hands slipped beneath your clothing, wrapping around your waist and drawing you nearer. The intensity of the kiss grew as Nanami's fingers traced gentle circles against your skin.

Nanami's hands roamed your body, guiding you down onto the soft cushions of the couch. He spread your legs wide, positioning himself between them. He pushed your panties to the side, revealing your glistening folds.

Nanami carefully lowered himself between your spread legs, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine. Leaning forward, he let his lips trace a path up your inner thigh before gently parting your folds. Soft moans escaped as his tongue began to dance, pleasuring you with confident strokes. Every now and then, he'd look up at you with a smile, the simple act of worshipping you, driving you wild.

As Nanami continued to pleasure you, his fingers joined his tongue, teasing your most sensitive spots. Your back arched, the pleasure building inside you. Nanami's dark eyes gazed up at you, his own need evident as he continued his ministrations. Each flick of his tongue, each graze of his fingers made you closer to the edge. The room filled with the sound of your ragged breathing, the only words that escaped your lips being his name.

Your hips bucked involuntarily as the orgasm tore through you, your back arching off the couch. Nanami continued his skilled attentions until the shudders subsided, never breaking eye contact. He leaned up to press a gentle kiss to your inner thigh, satisfaction and desire mingling in his gaze.

"I love making you feel good," he whispered, his voice thick with lust. "But I want to feel you wrapped around me too."

He gently helped you to your feet, his hands roaming over your body as you moved together towards the bedroom. Your heart raced in anticipation, eager to see where the night would take you both.

Sorry for taking so long to post !! I had so much papers to do ughh. Hope you like it :3

requests are open… made by zesty4zenin on tumble only !!

[wosowffc]

New gunner

Part 2

I woke up early as usual and began my moring routine, but to day katrina was up and getting ready first. I gently nod at her as she says good morning and I make my way to the bathroom.

After a bit of getting ready and packing my last things for tonight I start getting shoes on when she speaks up.

"Imma come with you on your walk" she says trying her own shoes. I don't even get a chance to say no before she's waiting at the door.

We walk towards the beach as the sun starts to rise and I sit on my usual rock slightly uncomfortable, I know she's nice to me but I don't know what to say and worse I don't know why she wants to be here or what she wants to say.

"So yesterday got tense, I understand your trying I do but, your making it really really hard to see" she says truthfully looking into the ocean like I am.

"I've never been good to people, people haven't been good to me kat." I answer back this is the most honest and open I've ever been.

"I'm dropping myself from the mitildas, I'm not playing for country anymore" she turn to face me eyes with a sad look.

"Take a break if your finding it hard but please , please don't quit your too good for that." She says which makes me start to think about it more.

We sit for another half an hour before she has to go back to get back home, my flight isn't for a bit yet so I have a little bit more time here.

I've just landed off the second plane into Heathrow quickly getting my things and driving back to my apartment. Settling down with some subway take out and a movie on I make the mistake of going onto my phone. I see the comments coming in, tags, stories and so much more. I'm not weak. Sure ok I'll keep telling my self that so I swap the food out with wiskey as I scroll throught. I'm not weak.

The next few days seem to blur together a mix of drink and spirits for breakfast lunch and dinner and now it's time to go back to club. Great.

From the minute i enter the grounds I just know I want out already, I won't show that though. I walk through getting looks from every single person, as I arrive in the dressing room there's a few girls slot of the England girls their conversation dying as soon as I come in.

After a min of silence and me putting my boots in the cubicle Lucy speaks up " what u did was fucking disgraceful" not this early Lucy, I take a drink of my water (Malibu) and turn to her.

"Mabey if Leah wasn't doing shit the whole game then pulling that stunt on my she wouldn't have got hurt" I retaliate with a calm face.

"Ur a fucking bastard" she spat back leaving the room to catch up with the group she was talking to.

I continue training not showing that I'm annoyed by anythign that was said. I get the normal pushing and dirty takles but it's ok, training goes on like this for the next 3 days but each day is getting worse than I've experienced before like on Tuesday I was tripped down the stairs by Sam and busted my nose or when I was out on the pitch and Millie tackled me putting studs in my head.

Today was probably going to be the same and I most likely have a concussion but whiskey and beer is holding back them symptoms. I make my way into the canteen to grab a cereal bar before the gym when people started saying shit I can't even make out what it is through drunken haze but I just walk away adding "can u all just fuck off"

I make my way to the car taking soem breaths and gettign my water bottle. The next thing I know I'm on the phone to katrina hoping she will answer.

"Hey, how are you" she answers cheerfully I can hear harper in the back watching some cartoon.

"Umm yeah normal, I wanted to ask if mabey, and it's ok if not I'd understand. Could you help me find a new club?" You know cause of everything this last week alone with you being you in general she mightn't want to help.

"Of course , has something happened you've been at chlease for a good few years?"

"It's time for a change." I answer short and sweet.

"Listen I'll contact my agent and get him to look around for h and let you know ok, I'll get back to u soon byeee" she hangs up and I start to drive not even thinking about coming back to this place im done here my cubbie doesn't have anything in it anyway that I need to come back for as my boots are in the boot of the car.

[jackhues]

oops - b's version

note: this takes place in 2030, bee's 22 years old and graduated uni. she's in med school

summary: in which sid accidently spills who bee's boyfriend is

buttercup's world! au masterlist

buttercupcrosby

liked by _connorbedard, mackinnon29, stephmarner & others

buttercupcrosby: life lately <3 (we're not including all the times i cried during med school)

view comments

kevinkorchinski: wow i can't believe you taught him how to put your shoes on -> buttercupcrosby: that's actually him taking my heels off and then giving me his shoes bcz i was tired -> kevinkorchinski: s i m p -> buttercupcrosby: okay? and what about it? -him

userone: nah girl's been soft launching THE SAME GUY for years now -> usertwo: we're never gonna learn who he is

e.malkin71geno: ooh what you reading? -> buttercupcrosby: percy jackson!!!!!! -> e.malkin71geno: the greek one that make you go crazy -> buttercupcrosby: ... okay that's fair

mackinnon29: i've noticed this isn't the spam, which means my comments will not be super unhinged -> userthree: NO NATE YOU NEED TO GO UNHINGED WE NEED TO KNOW WHO HE IS -> mackinnon29: please don't yell at me -> buttercupcrosby: he's tearing up rn -> mackinnon29: i'd watch my words if i was you

penguins: that's our baby crosby -> buttercupcrosby: AYEE PENG-WIN TN?? -> penguins: don't shoot the admin 🏳️ harass the players

stephmarner: ooh my girl's glowing 🥰 -> buttercupcrosby: mwah

userfour: WHO'S THIS YT MAN AND WHY'S HE WITH MY GIRL??

userfive: we're never finding out who he is are we 😭😭 -> usersix: frr! it's been yearsss

---

TRANSCRIPT FROM THE TSN PODCAST, GUEST STARRING SIDNEY CROSBY (3:09 - 7:35)

podcaster: switching gears a bit, you have a daughter, correct? she's in med school i think.

sidney: yeah, buttercup, bee, bumblebee - she's got lots of nicknames *laughs* she finished university, doing a double major in sports management and biochemistry. which is pretty tough, especially since she was on the hockey and lacrosse teams. but she loved it, and she somehow managed to graduate in four years, so i'll take it! she's going to med school in chicago now, trying to be an anesthesiologist.

podcaster: wow, that's - that's a lot

sidney: *laughs* it's a lot, yeah

podcaster: fans noticed that you've been going on vacations more during the summer. is that to get bee's mind off of school, because you're not playing anymore, something else?

sidney: oh, it's a mix of everything, i suppose. bee's real busy during the year. she went to stanford for four years, now she's in chicago - like over the last few years, she's just had a lot on her plate. so yeah, we like going out a lot during the summer. but we spend time at home too. we all play monopoly together, we go fishing, they push me in the water-

podcaster: i'm sorry, they push you in the water? you're sidney crosby, i thought mackinnon idolized you growing up

sidney: not anymore, bee made sure of that. it's worse because they got connor involved in this too, so it's three on one. i mean i used to hold the fact that i'm a better hockey player, but they've been breaking records and i'm out of the game now, so- *shrugs*

podcaster: *laughing* oh man, this is gold

sidney: what're you gonna do? i mean, nate's been here too long for me to kick him out, and connor - it doesn't look like he's leaving any time soon.

podcaster: connor bedard's been having a great career, especially over the last few years. do we have you to thank for that?

sidney: no, no, he's a great kid. he's really good at hockey, he was amazing even during his earlier seasons. but i think the media was a little bit crazy about him, and once they calmed down, he got a chance to flourish. nothing to do with me, he's great on his own

podcaster: but you still like showing him up?

sidney: *smiles and shrugs* i mean i don't go up against him in the league anymore, so sometimes i gotta do it in the garage

END TRANSCRIPT

---

---

buttercupcrosby and _connorbedard

liked by mackinnon29, calemakar_, kevinkorchinski & others

buttercups: bet you never saw it coming

view comments

pinned buttercupcrosby: thanks dad 🙄 -> userone: THANK YOU SID

_connorbedard: you're not getting away from me -> buttercupcrosby: i fucking love you so much you have no idea -> usertwo: 😭 you don't get it 😭 he's using a percy jackson quote 😭😭 she loves those books

userthree: HOL UP! THEY'RE ENGAGED?? -> userfour: well they've been together for like three years now

mackinnon29: i'm so happy i can say whatever i want without checking whether it's ur spam or regular

mackinnon29: you guys are disgusting -> buttercupcrosby: disgustingly cute

marner_93: ugh we're finally allowed to talk about it

penguins: congratulations!! totally not crying at how big baby crosby is, nope -> e.malkin71geno: i am -> buttercupcrosby: aww geno🥺

[maxsimagination]

𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗜 - 𝗹.𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗽

summary: coming out to someone is always diffcicult, but lauren makes it easier.

• part 1 • part 2

-> i do not condone homophobia in any way, shape or form, this is just an imagine and is not reality.

𖦹 masterlist

"𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗠𝗔, 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗔𝗥𝗘 you?"

it was my weekly call to family that were back in australia.

"honey, i'm good, how are you? how's england?"

i had lived in australia for most of my life before moving across the globe to england to play professional football. i was only 19 when i got picked up by manchester city, the sky blues offering me a 3-year contract that i couldn't turn down. now, four years later, i was still here, still wearing the same sky blue jersey with pride.

"england's good. we've got another game on this week, a home game this time."

my family weren't always super supportive of my choice to be a footballer, but never said anything outright. i still knew of the disapproval, but that didn't stop me from playing.

"that's good, honey. found any guys that you like?"

my ma brushed off the football talk and quickly moved to her favourite topic. she was openly christian, as well as my pa, but she always had something to say.

"no ma, no boys. i've said this."

it was a lost cause from there because my ma was unrelenting in her lecture on how a woman belonged with a man, so on and so forth. i made up an excuse of how i had to go to practice or something just to get out of the call.

i couldn't even count on my fingers the amount of times i've been told that homosexuality is a sin, that's how much she's told me.

——

practice next day was nothing new, gareth had us running the normal drills with some one-touch shooting to finish it off before a break. all the girls were in the shade with the water coolers just chatting when i sidled up. lauren crept up behind me and squirted water on my head to surprise me. i shrieked and turned around to get her back.

we were basically best friends, being attached at the hip all the time and both being starting strikers for man city.

"loz! not cool!"

she cackled at my unimpressed expression and walked back over with a promise of no more water fights. we joined back into the conversation with the others, they were all laughing hysterically at alanna's story of a date she'd gone on with a girl and it hadn't gone to plan. each of the other girls then added in their own wayward date stories.

the little group turned to me and lauren, asking our opinions and stories. lauren was quick to tell her funny moments while i was quiet, thinking.

"what about you, yn? any weird dates?"

the tallest of our group, bunny, broke me out of my thoughts with her question. i looked up, slightly caught off guard, and everyone had turned to look at me. about 5 pairs of eyes bore into me, psyching my brain out and panic rose in my mind.

"i- no. no stories. sorry i've got to go."

the anxiety got the best of me and i turned to run back inside of the changing rooms. in the back of my mind, i knew that i was being irrational and the girls would definitely have questions about my behaviour but that wasn't my priority right now.

all i could focus on was the quickening pace of my breath and the sound of my cleats when they hit the floor. i reached the lockers and sat in my cubby, eyes closed and trying to calm myself down. i was so in my head that i didn't hear the door open or anyone enter the room.

"yn are you okay?" lauren's voice startled me and my eyes popped open.

"i'm fine."

i was apparently too quick to respond to that question when lauren cocked her eyebrow at me.

"ok so maybe i'm not fine."

i mumbled out and lauren moved to sit next to me. she didn't push me to speak, just sat with me until i was comfortable to tell her what was wrong.

"im scared.

everyone was talking about their dating stories, and i thought that i wouldn't be accepted."

most of the team were open about their sexuality and who they went out with, but i was the opposite. being brought up in an environment where the christian way was the only way, i was taught that a woman must be with a man and there was no other option.

"i thought that the girls wouldn't accept me."

"yn we will support you no matter what. i will support you no matter what."

i knew from about the age of seventeen that i was anything but heterosexual. but i struggled to accept that fact in my own mind, which made it extremely hard for me to express that to others. i never talked about the topic, preferring to avoid it altogether.

but right now, lauren sitting next to me waiting for me to really tell her what was going on, i decided fuck it, tell her.

"ithinkilikegirls."

it came out rushed and the words strung together in one sentence that hid the real meaning.

"um, slower please?"

lauren had a smile on her face, but she knew how difficult a topic this was.

"i like girls."

three words that held so much meaning. lauren didn't say anything, she just pulled me into a hug. her hands rubbed up and down my back soothingly. i embraced the hug, tears slowly pricking at my eyes and i let them fall.

"i'm so proud of you."

[pinkrangermemes]

EPIC: THE MUSICAL, WISDOM SAGA

feel free to change pronouns and such when needed.

"It's just me, myself, and I."

"I'm stuck with your stories, but no clue who you are."

"If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?"

"I know life and fate are scary, but I wanna be legendary."

"I'll fight the harpies and chimeras!"

"There are strangers in our halls."

"They keep taking space and it's not much longer we can stall."

"They're getting impatient. Dangerous, too."

"I would fight them if I was half as strong as you."

"Somebody help me, come and give me the strength."

"Can I do whatever it takes to keep ____ safe?"

"It's been twenty years and we still have no king."

"Give me a chance, a single opportunity."

"When's your tramp of a mother gonna choose a new husband?"

"Don't you dare call my mother a tramp!"

"What'cha gonna do about it, champ?"

"Fight, little wolf, fight."

"Wanna entertain me?"

"Wanna be a man then fight, little wolf, fight."

"You've made your worst mistake here."

"You'll have run out of bones to break when you and I are through."

"I'll teach you all the lessons your daddy never could."

"This cruel world doesn't give out presents just for being good."

"Need some help?"

"Is your plan to stand around?"

"'Cause I suggest you fight back."

"Uppercut him. Now."

"Alright now, let's try this again."

"I've no respect for bullies, those who impose their will."

"I've seen plenty enough to truly understand this kind of filth."

"Let's teach this dog a lesson."

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined."

"Show them that you've got some bite, ____!"

"Take advantage now and strike, ____-!"

"Don't go down without a fight, ____!"

"Oh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard."

"I had a friend before, and he was a lot like you."

"I helped him fight through war, but he had his demons, too."

"Then we grew apart."

"Then his light went dark."

"I don't know who your friend is, I don't know what he's like, but my time with you has been splendid."

"'Cause I got in a fight, and I didn't die!"

"I've never felt strong before."

"You're my friend, I couldn't ask for more."

"Maybe to fall is to learn one way."

"Maybe it's all gonna turn out great."

"I know we'll be fine."

"I know it's light you'll find."

"You're a good kid."

"Old friend, it's been ten years since I last saw you."

"____, where did you go?"

"Morning, sleepy head, you've been resting for a while."

"I swore that you were dead when you washed up on my isle."

"Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

"Tell me, though, who's ____?"

"I'm not your man."

"I'm what you want here."

"I'm what you need here."

"From here on out, you're mine, all mine."

"Hell no!"

"I could kill you where you stand!"

"I'm not pet, I'm a married man!"

"Last I checked, goddesses can't die."

"You're adorable."

"Bow down to the might ____, here to entertain, but fear not, I bring no pain."

"Under my spell, we're stuck in paradise."

"No one can come or go."

"I don't belong here!"

"There's something wrong here!"

"I wont' be drawn to live in paradise."

"Time can take a heavy toll."

"All I hear are screams..."

"____, get away from the ledge."

"You don't know what I've gone through!"

"You don't know what I've sacrificed!"

"Every comrade I long knew, every friend, I saw them die."

"It will be fine, dear."

"Come back inside, dear."

"Let me close my eyes."

"I know your life's been hard."

"I'll stay inside your heart."

"I love you, my dear."

"I love our time here."

"Life would be so much worse if you had died."

"Just let me close my eyes."

"Please stay away from harm."

"Stay in my open arms."

"He needs my help."

"Father, ____, rarely do I ask for favors."

"You are playing with thunder for a man full of shame."

"If he's worth the risk of going under, why not make it a game?"

"You all know I'm a fan of catchy songs."

"I think ____'s in the wrong."

"They were trying to do him worse!"

"Now they'll tread with caution first."

"Trust is not given, it's forged."

"Why should I give him my support?"

"He sacrificed his own cohort."

"Did you forget they failed to listen?"

"He was betrayed and then imprisoned."

"He was busy fighting!"

"More like busy spiting."

"Let him feel the pain that his ____ felt and rot."

"Please reconsider this."

"Really, ____? These old tricks?"

"What kind of sick coward holds back his power while he friends get devoured?"

"He didn't even fight ____!"

"Pathetic and weak like his ____!"

"Hold your tongue now!"

"His ____'s my friend!"

"Tell your lover that a broken heart can mend."

"You want more bloodshed?"

"He's got the mind of a genius."

"Try harder."

"He's pretty skilled with words."

"Can do better than that."

"He's kinda funny?"

"Never once has he cheated on his wife."

"I played your game and won!"

"You dare to defy me?"

"No one beats me, no one wins my game!"

"Is she dead?"

"Let him go, please."

[hannahssimblr]

How did you improve so much in a year at building and taking screenshots?! Forever in awe

hahah thank you so much! I'm so happy with my improvement - the answer is ~magic~

nah, really, it's just that when I started Lucky Girl back at the end of 2022, I knew absolutely none of the screenshot tricks - I only ever got ts4 as a way to tell the story, and hadn't played it at all in the years prior. I ended up trying to take screenshots in a game where I didn't even know how to work the teleport function - and you can tell, I fear.

I was also using another platform to share my story at the time, and a lot of the content there kinda looked the same - vanilla, screenshots taken with plumbobs on and the walls down etc. I wasn't using Tumblr so I didn't have any inspiration. Coming here really pushed me to be better and taught me a lot of tricks and new things to add to my game to make it look better - the short of it, is that I just really didn't know better, and I just wanted to write the story. The screenshots felt secondary. I look back and cringe tbh, but I distinctly remember not really bothering that much with them, and thinking that 'just okay' was good enough.

Since then I've learned so much!

The first was how to teleport, and use MCCC to get sims to do couple poses off the lot

I got TOOL and figured all of that stuff out - including to create the illusion of varying heights etc.

I added in more details to the sims, changed any hair and skin issues, and added in skin details galore

I use WW for posing whenever I need something a bit more complex

I got over my fear of having too much CC in my game and just got so much build/buy cc - this made it possible to create the kinds of houses and rooms I imagined in my head - also, experience building helped a lot. In the beginning I was so intimidated, and frankly, unable to make things looked good that I relied on builds from the gallery 90% of the time.

Weirdly, even though I studied film in college, I never applied my knowledge of composition to the screenshots - I just started doing that, and generally trying to think more cinematically.

I got more use to using photoshop to fix screenshots, mix them together and crop them to be more compositionally pleasing. I also did that tutorial about changing the BG of a scene - I do that as a last resort, but it really works.

RESHADE - this was the biggest one. That DOF really changed my screenshot game - there's a point in lucky girl where I started using it, and you can see the instant difference.

Lighting mods - I use sunblind, and I also use the ghibli replacement clouds. I have a few others also to fix the shadows and lighting in general

Being more intentional with poses. I got a bunch of new ones with more subtle expressions that I felt suited the tone of my story better. I think the exaggerated ones are super cute, but they always seemed too much for my story. I also got animations for even more natural movement in scenes. Sometimes I'll make my own, too, if I can't find exactly what I am looking for

The eye trick was a huge gamechanger - I use it almost every single shot, and truly couldn't live without it.

Relight is a recent addition to my game - I only figured out how to use it around the end of part 2 of Lucky Boy. I don't use it a lot, but it was great more some of the dramatically lit festival scenes, and whenever I want some lamplight on a character (Or to just balance out a dark part of the shot)

camera mods have helped me gain more control of my scenes, along with the CTRL 5/6/7/8/9 camera saving trick. I use this a lot too, especially when I need to characters to look at each other with the eye trick and they won't do it at the same time (recent example below)

All of that is basically how I did it! It was a whole process but I'm so pleased because I look at the old screenshots and just think, damn, I've come so far!

More examples of the same scenes redone, because it's fun

[imminent-danger-came]

I was rewatching s2 last night, and ohhh man mk looks over mei so much it's not even funny. times mei has been ignored:

maybe you need to really listen! (during the blindfold ep)

mk just? grabs stuff she's using out of her hands all the time? (video game ep)

maybe you shouldn't skip the tutorials? (video game ep again)

the way he addresses her in dumpling destruction and then immediately pushes her aside for tang

i honestly remember it lowkey kinda bothering me on first watch but now it's REALLY egregious on rewatch. are you scared? I'm so scared. do you WANT to end up like shadowpeach MK

2x03 is so rude because the whole fucking episode they're like "MK you don't listen" and it's so true. He doesn't. Pigsy literally points it out again at the end of 4x14 with the whole sun screen bit:

Pigsy: "Tch, don't bother, I've been telling him that for years but he LITERALLY never listens." Sun Wukong: "Yep! That's how we role."

-

THEY'RE SO FUCKING RUDE. "That's how we role." We. We????? Wukong and MK???? Like WHATEVER. FINE. (("I told you going against the Jade Emperor was a bad idea, but no. Wukong doesn't listen to ANYONE! He just does whatever he wants" Like shut up. Shut up!))

MK gets so stuck in his own head ("You're all stuck up in your own head! None of this is your fault!" +1 to the MK ignoring Mei counter from 4x08) and I think that really contributes to his s2 scramble to get more powerful.

LIKE:

MK: "Stop? Now? Never! I just have to try harder. It's just like the Monkey King said! *laughs manically* I just need to get stronger!"

(2x06 Game On)

VS

MK: "Why didn't he just stop, right here? He was already so much stronger than anyone ever needed to be!" Macaque: "Wukong didn't think so, he always felt he had to be stronger—more immortal."

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

(Bonus thing between eps 2x03 and 2x06, look at 0:42 in this video for MK hearing Mei but not listening to her. Because of course that's what he would do. *head in my hands .png*)

The terrible s2 choices both Wukong and MK make in relation to their friends is just absolutely delicious after 4x11. Like, OH. This has been a lifelong pattern of Wukong's—paranoia is one of his fatal flaws (paired with his terrible communication and self-sacrificial nature), and while he had the power to stop LBD before he still feel's the need to go after the Samadhi Fire to stop her now, and to protect MK.

Hold on look at this parallel that I don't know what to do with:

MK: "Ugh, I can't do it!"

Mei: "It's alright MK—you did it before, you'll do it again!" Sandy: "Yeah! Maybe it's like Monkey King said: the power will come when you need it most!"

(3x04 The Winning Side)

-

MK: "What! But you said the Samadhi fire was the only thing that could stop her!" Sun Wukong: "I KNOW WHAT I SAID! But I've beaten her before I'll- I'll do it again! Mei was right—I need to stop dragging you into my fights, all of you."

(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)

-

Wukong and MK's reach for power inspires a lot of fear in me! It does! Because, well, MK's current reach for power is going to lead him to his Monkey Form, and uh:

Like I'm scared. I'm scared!

"All doomed to play a role in tearing this world apart!" ; "This is Azure's utopia, and this barren wasteland is the price he paid to build it." ; "I'd do anything for my friends! But at the cost of the world?" "I'm sorry pal, ain't NOTHIN' worth that price!"

[choimari-achoochu]

Playing... "This Love" by Taylor Swift

"How good can that certain love make you feel so good to the point it's too/down bad?"

Non-idol!Lee Heeseung x F!Reader

Tags : Angst, Hurt, fluff, comfort, NOT PROOFREAD, Reader fell first but Heeseung fell harder<3

"You kissed my cheek, I watched you leave. When you're young you come back to... To what you need. This Love is good, this love is bad. This love is alive back from the dead (oh-oh). These hands had to let it go free, but, this love came back to me. This love, left a permanent mark. This love is glowing in the dark. These hands, had to let it go free, but, this love came back to me."

You never really know where it all went wrong when the time came you and Heeseung had to break up. He was the perfect man. Always soft and caring, patient, he was the epitome of perfection, good looking with a lot of green flags. Being someone who was more than what you asked for, you hardly thought that a time would come where you would be separated from each other. More so, after 4 years of relationship.

You met him during your second year of college, he was in his third year. You had the fattest crush on this basketball player who aced every single class he took. So of course, you approached him. He was reluctant to even respond to you at first, but warmed up to your cheery personality sooner or later. Or maybe, too soon. You experienced love at first sight, but he slowly fell for you as time went on with the both of you hanging out.

He found you pretty cute, very cheery and bubbly. Your aura always radiates a sense of warmth that infects the whole room, the whole building if not. He was attracted to how your cheeks flush everytime you see him, how a shy smile always creeps to your face when he winks at you during a game, how your smile and laughs absolutely make his day.

You were what he considered constant happiness in his day-to-day routine. Sometimes when he wakes up in your dorm room after a movie night sleepover, his heart always swells with gratefulness and love when there, laying beside him on the bed, was your body presses against the sheets in a deep but peaceful slumber. He loved you so much to even ever think about being separated with your absolutely pure soul.

Yet, there in his dread, he's standing before your figure on your doorstep. His hands trembling and anxiously tapping his thighs as he gulps, not knowing what to say. When all of his academic pressure was weighing on his shoulder to the point he pushed you away, does he really deserve a second chance? You're not sure yourself.

"What are you doing here, Hee?" You asked with spite but pain at the same time.

"I-..." He paused. He wasn't trying to find what words to say, no. He was trying find the words to associate right after "...sorry...". But what should he say? "I'm sorry, I hurt you because I was too occupied with my own problems" ? Or was it "I'm sorry, I had to prioritize myself over our relationship and your feelings because I had "unintentionally" hurt you due to the fact I had assignments and projects to pass that led to me irrationally blurting out the words 'Let's break up'... " ?

"I don't know, Y/N, fuck..." He ran a hand through his hair and slightly pulled on a few strands.

You both know what he wants to say but you both take for granted the silence between the two of you, no matter how uncomfortable it may seem due to the tension.

However, he broke the seconds of silence with a sharp inhale and spoke again. "I'm so fucking sorry and regretful of the things I've done that I just— I don't even know how to start saying that sort of shit without thinking about how stupid it is. How stupid my actions were, how stupid it is for me to even seek for you after what I've done... " He stalls as tears well up in his eyes as he, with all the courage he has, looks into your eyes. You don't know if the pain and love you still absolutely have for him and from him seeps through the cracks of your broken hearts with the way he's trembling.

"...But I'm so fucking sorry. " He breathes out, a feeling of relief washing over him as he finally let every thought and emotion out of his chest. The only thing that remained was the feeling of dread that was to come after you reject his apology. You would definitely do that after all those stunts he pulled during your relationship—

"I forgive you." You say as you take your eyes off him, letting him process what you said without the burden of thinking you don't mean it. But as you break eye contact, his eyes go wide in surprise, an ineffable feeling washing over him as he thinks his ears are betraying him. So he asks...

"What?" He mutters but loud enough for you to hear.

"I said, I forgive you." You fiddle with your fingers as you answer him. "Also, it's not stupid."

"Huh?" He tilts his head in confusion, he feels he's too broken to even be able to think properly.

"It's not stupid to apologize. And I absolutely understand how you prioritized your studies above our relationship—"

"No, Y/N. Baby, that wasn't okay." He cuts you off.

"Yes, sometimes those sort of things can get in the of our relationship because, as students who want good grades, we have to put it first rather than our relationship. But that doesn't mean outburts are reasonable just because of all the academic stress. I'm happy that you forgive me, but please never seek for something less than what you deserve from me, Love." He reaches to meet your hand with his trembling ones for him to hold, he slowly lifts it up to his mouth and kisses the back of your hand.

Tears stream down your face as the raw emotions you've felt from the past week comes rushing back to you. All the pain, the misunderstandings that made you confused, the loneliness... Everything was too much to bear all st the same time.

"I'm sorry, too, Heeseung." He said in between sobs and he pulls you to his chest, wrapping you in his warm and comforting embrace.

"Don't say sorry. There's nothing for you to apologize for. I was in the wrong..." He mumbles sweet comforting word, but are still coherent enough for you to understand, as he kisses the top of your head.

"No, no..." You protested and shook your head. "I'm sorry for not being understanding and still being clingy. I should have been more mature." You sniffle as the words almost seem like queit mumbles, but Heeseung understands. He always does. How much you doubt yourself. It breaks him to be one of the cause for the cacophony of your negative thoughts to be the only thing you hear because of his actions. He softly runs a hand through your back as he sighs.

"Shhh, baby... You did nothing wrong. I wish I could have done better for you, but I'm here to do right now. Will you please give me a chance to make things right between us?" He pulls away, but his hands are still firm on your waist. He stares at your face.

He kisses your cheek and asks again, "Hmm? Please, Love?"

The moment you give him a soft nod, he wraps you back into arms once again and heaves a sigh of relief. He is never gonna lose you again. No, never. The week where he had to be away from the warmth you brought into his light was enough for him to suffer in darkness, all alone... He doesn't want that again. For the both of you. He doesn't wanna hurt you anymore, don't want to leave you all alone again, and you want the same thing. To never be away from his calming and comforting presence that he brings due to his love for you.

"Please never push me away again."

"I won't. I never will. Not again, never in the lifetimes where I have your love with me."

@strxwbloody

[lucykuoart]

So I've been through the mod PRHVL nights and I have very strange thoughts, again…

I appreciate the work that was put into this mod as it is not the easiest task

But my thoughts don't fit the views of this fandom, so writing on Twitter is dangerous. And now I put myself at risk. After all, I am the main villain here, the hater and the monster! Although it would take some effort to get me to that point

So, on to the bright side. Hooray, yes, I can complete Olivia's quest as Marcoh and go to the ball with her! Great, although I thought it would be harder, as I always imagined

And when playing as Olivia…you can't invite Marcoh. Almost immediately you see how Daan speaks to you, although, for example, this was not the case with Marcoh. Hmm, why is that and why is it one of the three options? I pretend I don't know, I'm a terrible person, a hater! (no)

I understand that this is a mod, it is from a fan with his own views, and developing a huge number of options is expensive in every sense. But I saw the best moment when Marcoh gives the bracelet to Olivia, talking about his sister and…after we hear that he can't, because he's going with him. Okeeyy… Honestly, this could have been made into a quest, and the event was unexpected and pleasant.And you probably expect this from a romantic mod

Well, at least I almost made a visualization of my fanfic eee

They can tell me that here are Caligula's words in the game, here is Marcoh's behavior, here is the future update… So what? There is no exact yes or no right now, that's all. And also believe Caligula, the most reliable person, yeah. It's as if the unreliable narrator and similar techniques have died out or never existed. And here he is with Tanaka, with Daan together… Yes, together he can be, as with Olivia, as with anyone who is over 18 years old. Why have we reached a point where, let's be honest, a section of the fandom pushes their own views on a character without regard for the interests of others, when a compromise could be reached for everyone? Until December 2023 (wow, a year has passed) and after, I calmly looked at art or read fanfics with Marcoh and not Olivia, like that (There are some cool art and fanfics with Marcoh and Daan, everyone should watch them!) (You may have also seen my content on Marcoh/Pav. And everything is fine, I am grateful to the author for these drawings, everything is fine (sorry, I made Pav badly twice in the mod. But when I found out that we are talking about Pav as an option, playing as Marcoh I smiled, you immediately think about a specific author). There is nothing stopping me from doing this, being a terrible creature who loves the opposite sex. I'll probably be cancelled for these words, but am I lying? We have to compromise. I never said that Marco should be with Olivia, but I don't want the opposite extreme either. Everyone should be comfortable, as long as it doesn't break the law. Let me remind you, Olivia is 20, that's all

Oh, yes, I went to extremes again, but what can I do, I don’t understand anything. So, I wasn't the only one passing through, my fandom friends were there too. I really want to believe that this is not so, some kind of mistake, but when you try to make Daan/Karin in this mod… it won't work. It may also depend on the character, like Marcoh can, but Olivia can't, but I was told this. I want to be wrong, but if not…what has this rather sharp option done to prevent it? I don't want to say anything bad to the author, he doesn't owe us anything and did a great job, I also enjoyed it. But this trend of good and bad thorns, pleasing and unpleasing…is sad. When I joined the fandom in September 2023, everything was fine, everyone did whatever they wanted in this ship sandbox. But it seems to me that after more than a year the situation is getting worse and worse, ultimately dividing people for some absurd reason. Shouldn't we have fun and let there be absurd options? Again, yes, I may be too fanatical, but I will never insist on Marcoh and Olivia together as the truth, EVER. I try to show charm, everything, although yes, I failed, making it only worse, as well as what I write. I'm trying, but it's getting worse and worse, as always, I hate it, this is how life is…. It would probably be even better if I were to be subjected to a barrage of criticism. But I wanted the best, I thought people might find a neutral option…

Yes, in the end it turned into more of a personal record of thoughts, what can you do… I really don't want to offend anyone, please believe me. If I offended anyone in this fandom, said something wrong, forgive me, I never wanted and don't want to. I would rather apologize for everything, I often scare my friends with this So, about the mod at the end… Marina's quest with the mannequins is broken, you need to click on the option with questions if you have the necessary item esc

[acacia-may]

8 for the writing asks pls?

Thank you for the ask and for playing this writing ask game.

8. An excerpt of my writing that hurt my own feelings to write.

I've definitely written a lot of things that hurt my own feelings to write, but I cried real, genuine tears when I wrote this scene and was so emotional over it that I actually had to stop and take a break to calm down by the time I got to Aubrey's "because you've always been that person for me" line. I've written a lot of angst and a lot of devastating moments, but I've only actually cried because of my own writing maybe twice(?) in my life (I'm usually not much of a crier), so it definitely sticks out to me and I consider the Aubrey-centric chapter of "When Sun Shines Again" some of the best writing I did last year. Here's a snippet:

With a heavy sigh, Hero turned away from her, staring out of the dark and gloomy window. “You know, I’ve…never really had a lot of fight in me…” he admitted quietly, a faint flush in his cheeks before he let out a light, somewhat self-deprecating chuckle. “It’s something I’ve always thought I should probably get a little more of. But you…” His expression softened, and he smiled at her as he met her eyes. “You’ve always been a fighter, and I’ve always admired that about you. You want to protect everyone—fight for your friends even when they can’t or won’t fight for themselves. But I’m your big brother…”—he took a shaky breath and patted the top of her head—“I’m supposed to be the one protecting you, so you don’t need to protect me, okay?” “But that’s the thing, Hero—you’re everybody’s big brother. Without Mari, you don’t have anybody to protect you anymore. And as long as you feel like you have to protect me and Kel and Sunny and Basil—as long as you feel like you have to take care of us, you’re never going to tell us what’s wrong, so you’re just going to suffer alone and none of us want that. We all worry about you too.” Aubrey paused, wiping her eyes. Hero froze. His hands trembled. He didn’t know what to say—didn’t even know how he felt. To see Aubrey so broken up and worried about him was like a wrench to his heart. First, Kel. Now, Aubrey. Could he do anything without hurting the people he cared for most in the world? “Aubrey, I…” he began to stumble as tears pooled in his eyes. “No, I—” she cut him off. “I didn’t say this to make you feel bad or feel guilty. I just…I know you, Hero. I know the way that things are—the way you always push aside how you feel to take care of everyone else, and I guess that’s part of the reason why I was so upset—because I knew how much you were suffering all alone and how you didn’t have anyone you felt like you could talk to. I know you’re never really going to be able to talk to us about what’s wrong—but I just…I think we all want you to have someone you can talk to. Someone you feel like you don’t have to protect. I know that’s never going to be me or Kel or even Basil or Sunny—you’re always going to be our big brother, but I want to believe there’s somebody out there—maybe even several people—maybe Brandi or your friends from school or I don’t know just anybody…somebody who you feel like you can tell these things to, somebody you can always go to who’ll try to understand and will comfort you and support you no matter what. I want you to find that person, Hero—because you’ve always been that person for me.”

[thelaurenshippen]

this month’s mixtape is a ship mix for whiskey/harry from @breakerwhiskey. they might be the slowest burn I've ever written and this soundtrack got me through!

This playlist came together pretty haphazardly at first--initially, I just had a playlist that was my dumping ground for songs that were BW-flavored but didn't belong on the main playlist. This is something I've started to do for projects in the last year or so. It started, as many things do, with creating a "DH Strays" for Desperate Hollow (the queer outlaw story I swear I will get published someday), and then grew from there. For Breaker Whiskey, the playlist is called "delta tune", a reference to the knob on a CB radio that takes you to the off-frequencies. Then I realized a real ship vibe was popping up in a lot of the songs I was choosing and decided to start building this. Why didn't I make a ship playlist to begin with? Well, to be honest, the main Breaker Whiskey playlist sort of was that. Their relationship is so central to the story and Whiskey's journey that I didn't think I needed a separate ship playlist. But, you know, I'm me, so of course I need as many playlists as possible. The thing that really kicked it over the line were the songs that felt like they were from Harry's perspective. 

So pretty soon I had a playlist that was fairly packed full of vibes. I've whittled it down considerably, and created a playlist that I think has a good flow and narrative arc. But that delta tune playlist still has some Whiskey/Harry vibes that are good, even if they didn't fit musically on the playlist: "No Children" by the Mountain Goats, "All Too Well" by Taylor Swift (Taylor's version of course), "When You've Got Trouble" by Liz Longley, "Drive Away With You"  by Jill Andrews, and "Stay" from Lempicka, which I mentioned in a newsletter a while ago - it really is the perfect song for them, but the musical theater vibe just doesn't fit. 

But let's get to the main event! This is a true 8-track mixtape. It is, I think, efficient and satisfying, packing a lot of emotion into 30 minutes of listening. 

1. "Can I Leave Me Too?" - The Greeting Committee 

If you go, can I go with you/if you leave me, can I leave me too?/I'm afraid that I might need you - I mean, this is a perfect song. This was really the song that kicked it off, because this is suuuuuuuuch a Harry song, my LORD. She's the one left behind, but she also doesn't want to fully admit she needs Whiskey and yet she also is trying to morph herself into something that will make Whiskey stay, even if that means withholding information from her. 

I'll never say your name again/if you don't want me - I love this lyric because it works on two levels for me. There's a sense of "if you don't want me I'll forsake you completely" but also a sense of "I don't deserve your name if you don't want me" but THEN, the thing that really gets me is Harry saying "I'll never say your name again if you don't want me to say it", given their whole thing with names and nicknames and the fact that Harry always called her Abigail when she preferred Abi. 

2. "Edge of the Earth" - Beaches 

Again, this song feels like it was written for them. One of them fire, one of them ice, going in circles and never moving forward? It's them.  

Like a race car driving away from the scene/does she want me to stay/does she want me to pack...You push me in circles/to the edge of the earth/where I can't go any further 'till I start coming back to you - I feel insane!! Those lyrics are just too perfect. I also love the imagery of spin me like a globe/and drop your finger on me. I used to love playing that game (but also, in retrospect, why did my parents own a globe?), and there's something about Whiskey and Harry being the ultimate determinants for each other of where they go. 

3. "In My Bones" - 76th Street

This song has just been sitting in my Apple Music for years and years waiting to be put on a playlist. It's in my "rent free" playlist, but was never in an original character or story playlist. And then it popped up on shuffle as I was building this one and it was like, "OH! Here it is!"

Even in the stillest nights you found a way to shake up my life - I love the idea that the two of them were living a pretty peaceful existence in Pennsylvania, quiet and sedate, and yet were STILL torturing each other. 

How do I feel you in my bones, even when I'm alone/the time you spend on my mind, it's like a second home/but I say that I'm doing okay/while I wait to hear a knock at my door/tell me we'll run away

4. "Too Sweet" - Hozier

A late add to this playlist, because it's still a fairly recent song, but come on. I take my whiskey neat? How could I resist. 

I also just love how this is a love song that's sort of...snarky. Like, I don't know that I totally buy that 'you're just too sweet for me!' is the takeaway of the song. To me, the lyrics really describe two very different people who are maybe trying to accommodate each other, or to be some version of themselves they think they should be, but it's not really working. 

You keep tellin' me to live right/To go to bed before the daylight/But then you wake up for the sunrise/You know you don't gotta pretend - both Whiskey and Harry do a degree of pretending around each other, but as they live together, those facades start to wear away. And then the question becomes - are the real versions of each other ones they want?

5. "Any Day Now" - Trousdale

Another great song about trying to live up to someone's expectations. Musically, this song fits here, but narratively, it is to me a very early-days-after-Whiskey-left song for Harry. This idea of "you left and I always let you down but I'm going to be FINE now" even though that's not at all true. And I looove that I know I said is sung by the lead but the accompanying I love you and I need you are sung off to the side like secrets or after thoughts. Because Harry didn't say those things and she just hoped that Whiskey would stay anyway. 

I've been sleeping too much, got a list that I have/yet to cross out, gonna get to it in a while is a perfect contrast to the lyric Since I left I've not been drinking or staying out late/Get up early and I meditate from "Runner's High" on the show playlist, which is very much a Whiskey song. 

But every time I hear your name/it's like somebody hit replay/on all the ways I let you down/I guess I'll be the villain now - I'm normal about Harry listening to all of Whiskey's transmissions and hearing herself be cast as the villain that she absolutely already thought she was. 

6. "Where It Ends" - Hunter Metts

"Ships Passing By" by the same artist is on the main playlist and initially "Threads" by him was on here (I never thought that I could lose you/So I tried/To hallucinate a love that never comes true). But then he came out with this track. 

If this is where it ends/where do I go when you know every part of me - okay, Hunter!!!! Kill us from the opening line!!!! 

Someone that you regret/on the interstate, I felt you getting colder/and I hope you're doing better ever since we were done/I hope you find forever with somebody you love, I guess/but I didn't think it'd cut like this - I think from the beginning - from the moment Whiskey hot-wired a car after killing Billings and drove her and Harry away - Harry felt like any chance she had of something with Whiskey was dead on arrival. I also love the "I guess" here because no, of course you don't really want that person you just broke up with to be happy, not really. 

7. "Everything" - MUNA

This songs makes me fully feral. MUNA is so good at writing universal experiences through laser specificity - the particular mindset of seeing something, anything, and thinking of that one person is such a real and potent thing. This song and the next are two songs that I have listened to on single repeat for quite literally an hour or so. 

Everything's about you to me is really just Whiskey's constant experience in driving around the country. 

'Cause the world could be burning/and all I'd be thinking/is how are you doing, baby? - an insane lyric!!!! Ahhhhh!

I can barely SPEAK about the bridge. I'm only here to tell you that I am eviscerated gets me EVERY time and you are a wildfire and I'm standing in the rain takes my brain completely offline. 

8. "can we start over?" - Charlotte Sands

I'm calling it now, this song is going to be in my top 5 most played songs this year. I think the last three months of this show were written to this song on repeat. And I'm going to do something I rarely do and just...copy out pretty much all the lyrics. Because it does feel like this was written purely to help me write the final act of this story. 

Can we start over?/Can we be strangers?/I could let go of all of my anger/Reintroduce you to all of my secrets/I'll never leave you, this time I'll mean it - UGH. That final line. The promises that Whiskey and Harry have made to each other, the secrets they've withheld. I just love the theme of "let's go back to the beginning, things will be different this time I PROMISE". But, of course, you never can start over, not really. 

We'd be like the movies/Be happy in the end/You wouldn't have to lose me/I wouldn't have to mend/Nothing would be painful/We'd never play pretend/Then maybe I'd be able to let you in again/Don't let me believe in you...I want to believe in you - The contrast between "don't let me believe in you" and "I want to" just kills me. That's really what it comes down to - I can't trust you again, even if you let me, even though I desperately want to. 

Maybe in a different life/Maybe at a different time/What if I was meant to be yours?/What if you were made to be mine? - the constant question. If they had stayed in their primary timeline, if they had gone into a different one, if they're able to get into a different one now, does that make things easier?

I know I've copied out almost the entire song but the lines "I could let go of all of my anger" and "this time I'll mean it" are really soooooo Whiskey. And "Can we be strangers...reintroduce you to all of my secrets?" is very Harry. I could talk about this song forever. My god.