#I'm trying my best but everyone seems to have comments why it's not nearly enough

[mint-ty]

in need of a miracle pill from feeling like a waste of space 💊

[goldsbitch]

Open your eyes

Everyone is self-conscious about their body sometimes. For Y/N's it's always been her small boobs, living in the belief that this would make her unattractive. Can her best friend help out?

warning: light smut, nipple play, blindfold

this one is for the flat chested girlies out there

If only teenagers knew how all of their peers are just as insecure as they are. Might have saved a lot of trouble, sleepless nights and maybe even stop everyone from overthinking and living more of a "just finally kiss me" life.

//

It was a sunny summer afternoon, as per usual, these two late teens, would spend it in a room with all windows covered up, eyes glued to the screen and hands gripping gaming consoles. They grew up as close friends, in fact he was the only one she ever potentially felt comfortable enough to admit her insecurities.

"Still don't get it why you said no," he noted, once again, to the situation where one of his racing friends asked for her number and she declined without providing a reason.

She ignored him the first time he'd address it, hoping he'd just let it go. It was frustrating how much invested he was in that. With a big sigh, she replied the same as she did before. "We are just not the right fit."

Lando, a teenage guy with a massive crush he had yet to decipher, was not satisfied with that answer.

"Don't get it," he said nonchalantly as he blew her head off in the game they were playing.

"Fine!" she responded and nearly threw away her console. She locked eyes with him, still not sure if she wanted to share her deepest insecurity.

He knew her, in the light reflected from her screen he could see on her face that the mood in the room has changed drastically. No more casual fun and games.

"Spill it," he dared, perhaps realizing for the first time why he craved her presence so much. "Was this it?"

She took a deep breath, trying to somehow ignore Lando's intense stare. She would always closed her eyes when something "scary" was in front of her. With her eyes shut, she finally spoke. "It's, um...You know," she said, vaguely pointing around her chest. Poor Lando was so caught of guard he forgot to breathe for a moment. "What?" he said, confused as ever.

Another annoyed sigh. "Don't make me say it, Norris."

"Well, you're really bad at pantomima thing, so I'm afraid you'll have to," he said, keen on not letting this go, his mind trying to ignore his inner disappointment.

"Fine. But promise we will never address this again."

"Promise."

"He just, he seems like the kind of guy who would want a more developed girl..?" she said, still not sure how to communicate it.

"As in all the braincells? I see your point now," he couldn't help himself from teasing her. Ever.

"Dickhead. My boobs," he almost bursted, once again gesturing to her chest. "They are so small. Why would someone like him find that attractive?"

Now, he was truly taken of guard, no idea how to respond, because he could hardly understand. It made the wheels in his head spin. Only at that moment realizing he'd do anything to see her small boobs one day. Y/N mistook his surprised silence as a confirmation of her own insecurities.

//

Once his brain processed the newly found information, Lando understood, as best as he could, where Y/N's insecurity regarding her boobs came from. While he'd never admit it, he often wondered whether he himself was "developed" enough. He had always been smaller than guys his age, something that is hard to hide. Same with breasts, unless you really wanna fake it, you can just tell from the outside.

Ever since that summer afternoon, he started to notice things he did not before. How could he not hear the subtle comments she made so often?

He was hanging out in her room, the last evening before he parted to several races. They were suppose to meet some friends later, so he stopped by, expecting her to be ready, while she was busy trying on a seventh top and still not liking it.

"This one has just too low of a v-neck," she whispered, perhaps more to herself, but ultimately, he did hear her. It's been weeks since the first and last time they spoke about it, Lando managed to pass many comments she made about herself.

But, fuck it this time. It was bothering him endlessly that she was insecure like that.

"That's it, Y/N. You know that the size of the boobs does not matter, right? Guys don't care about that," he stood behind her, locking eyes with her through the mirror she was standing in front of.

She froze, staying silent.

He continued. "Tell me, did a guy ever complain when you slept together?" They would usually share stories of their "achievements" in the past, so he was aware that she was sexually active. It was just that recently, that thought became sort of uncomfortable. Other guys touching her.

She snapped back. "Well, they never complained, but the also never even looked at them, so how could they know!"

"What does that mean?" he asked, once again confused.

She wished her mouth would wait for her brain to approve sometimes. Especially with Lando. There goes nothing. "'I've always kept a shirt on."

Baffled Lando wondered how could those other guys allow it. "So you've never shown your tits to a guy?" he said, almost astonished.

"No...It's not my asset and I know it. My, um...my ass is pretty good?" she defended and he had to try so hard not to picture her, on all knees, spine bending and her ass perked up towards him.

He swallowed, barely believing the words he was about to hear coming from his mouth. "Then show them to me."

Her eyes went wide. "Lando!" They had a close friendship, but not the kind where walk around naked in front of each other.

He held his arms up in defense. "No, I mean...hey, you know me. You have to show them to a guy one day anyway. And I promise I'll tell you the truth. No bullshit." He knew he crossed a line. Which was why he almost did not believe her next word.

"Ok."

To be fair, it did make some sense. If you really look for it. But while he was crushing on her without realizing, she had been crushing on him for months, fully aware of it. There was a tingling in her stomach when he made this suggestion. Unfamiliar, exciting tension. As if she wanted him to stare at her tits, no matter how insecure she felt about them.

"But I can't watch you," she added, turning around to face him. "I'd be too embarassed."

"So close your eyes?" he noted the obvious.

"No, you gotta tie my eyes," she said, making his cock twitch in his pants.

//

It was hard for Lando to wrap around his head what exactly was happening. As he was tieing up a band around Y/N eyes, she accidentally touched his hands when she was checking it.

"It is too tight?" he asked softly, waiting for her to deny it.

"All good."

He stepped away and turned her around so that she would stand face-to-face with him.

"Um, whenever you're ready, I guess," he announced. Part of him could not believe what was happening, another part of his was scared she's back out and another was terrified of himself. And how much he craved to see her.

She took a deep breath and tried to block all her thoughts. And boy, were there many. The strangest one was the excitement.

With one swift move she took her shirt off. Lando's pupils were wide and he probably didn't blink for minutes now. She bit her lower lip and turned around to face him. He had seen her in a bikini before, why was this so much better. She put her hands back and finally took her bra off.

He should have never suggested it. He knew he'd not forget the sight of her small, perky boobs with perfect nipples anytime soon. It was better when he did not know. He stared in silence, while she stood there, blindfolded, nervously rubbing her fingers.

"Gosh, say something, please," she pleaded impatiently.

"Um...No, um," he said, getting his voice stuck for a moment.

"Oh shit, it's bad, right?" she asked, while her heart sank in.

"No!," he immediately reacted, somewhat coming back to Earth. "They are...nice," he said, trying to downplay his own excitement. "Small, but nice. Firm...I guess."

She sighed. "Ok..."

He shifted himself, gaining more presence again. He was aware that what he said would affect her deeply, so his plan was to fix his initial reaction, not to make her wonder. "Seriously. If a girl I was on a date with had your boobs, I'd be more than happy. Trust me."

She relaxed a bit and instinctively went to somewhat cover herself up again with her hands. "That's good to know. Thank you."

He wanted more. To see more. His hormones acted before he did, shooting the boldest test of their friendship.

"There is one thing my sister mentioned few times..." he said before he managed to stop himself. "Apparently...if you massage them, it helps the blood flow and helps them grow," he stated, almost ashamed of himself for making things up like that. It was wrong. He should have just tell her upfront just how much he wants ti touch her.

She knew well enough that was some bullshit. But it was a chance. To know what if feels like when a guy like Lando touches you.

"Um, this might sound weird, but, um, can you show me?" she asked, blinfold giving her the courage she normally lacked.

He could not believe he had standing in front of him, bare-chested, blindfolded and oh so innocent. This sight was awakening parts of him he did not know existed. At that point, he was hard as a rock.

"Yeah, I guess I could do that. But, you should probably lie down," he suggested and took her hand in his, leading her slowly to her bed. She could already feel the fire of his touch when he touched her shoulder. Lando shamelessly watched her nipples harden once he did. The blindfold was a miracle.

He laid her down on her back and popped himself up on his elbows on her left side. Now that they were on the bed, he started to feel more at ease and all of it felt less wrong. She couldn't see him, but his warmth radiated on her naked chest and his intoxicating cologne hit her nose once he put her down.

What she couldn't see was the way he smiled softly at the sights in front of him, taking his time to create as much imagery in his memory as possible. She shivered with cold.

"You should start, I'm getting cold," she said impatiently.

"Anything you want, baby" he replied absentmindedly, not noticing the way he addressed her. The word would ring in her ears for days on. Lando completely forgot what game he was suppose to play. His brain left the conversation a while ago and he was fully focused on the picture in front if him. He had lying down and waiting for his touch.

He started with her left nipple, lightly, feathery, almost non existent touch. His eyes were flashing between watching her chest rise up and down and her face. She bit her lower lip, as if she was trying to hide the way it affected her. He couldn't help but smile and lick his lips. He began tracing little figured of eight on the top of her nipple and when he was sure he got her sensitive enough, he pinched her for the first time. A soft, surprised sigh escaped her mouth. He did not have think about his actions at all, it was all so natural and easy. He pinched her nipple once again, harder this time, before he moved onto cupping her breast and giving it a squeeze, while watching her attentively. She pulled her head back a bit and he knew he had her. Afraid to speak, he continued to squeeze her and then traced her up and down, making sure not to miss her nipple anytime he did.

"The other one," she whispered so quietly he nearly missed it. But he didn't. With a smirk, he kept his hand on her left nipple, and reached over to her right breast. All of the adrenaline hitting up, he leaned over and when his mouth was almost touching her, then carefully licked her nipple. He watched her, half expecting her to freak out and send him away. To his satisfaction, she flinched in a way he never saw he before. There was something sensual, primal about the way air exited her mouth. Still blindfolded, she had no idea his eyes were glued on her face. If they weren't, he'd probably miss out on her soft "More...". He started kissing and gently biting the rest of her boobs, painting pictures with red bruises. She arched up a bit, as if her body was trying to get closer to him. First moan escaped her lips like a shy whisper. The rest that followed were unfiltered, mindless proof that she was fully in the moment. He got more and more excited, his cock hard as a rock, begging to get released. But he was afraid anything more would cause her to back off. So he continued with this actions, switching up between her nipples, breasts and sometimes roamed over to the neck. To get carried away was the easiest thing ever. As he tasted her skin, he got intoxicated. She surprised him when her hands reached out to his own body, done playing the passenger and joining on action. First she ran her fingers through his hair, pushing him more to her chest and then her soft fingers reached over to his shirt, movement suggesting to pull it off. This sort of woke him up back again. He pulled his shirt off and watched her smile when she noticed his bare chest.

"Now we're even," she commented and with no shame touched all around his muscles. A small alarm was going off in Lando's head. He was enjoying this a little too much. The realization that the line that got crossed was out of sight at that point hit him. So he chose to try and get even further. He leaned over to her face and licked the line of neck, stopping right at her ears. Then he bit her earlobe before wetting it with his tongue and blowing lightly on it. The shivers again. He could watch that all day. She melted into his embrace, arching towards him once again. Lando placed slow kisses on her cheek, one by one, until he got so close to her lips he could feel her breath mixing with his own. He hovered, prolonging this moment, the last seconds before it inevitably all fell down. Her chest was rising up and down rapidly. "Do it," she whispered, their lips almost touching accidentally. He waited for few moments, biting his own lip while wishing it was hers. "Not like this," he said, catching her off guard. Before she had a chance to respond, he reached over to her blindfold and removed it. Their eyes met for what felt like the first time. He saw high, excitement and a hint of fear, as she adjusted to the light and to the sight of him being so close. Reality check.

"Can I kiss you now?" he pleaded softly, staring at her, desperate for her answer.

It was all very different and very much real when she could see him. She gulped before taking the leap, falling into the trap that were his incredibly blueish green eyes.

"Yes."

[nicoliine]

When Charlie found out that she is now a big sister.

☆彡 Your lover is an idiot; he can be a cute one or an annoying one, never in between, and right now you wonder which one he is as you are in the middle of one of their idiocies.

☆ Reader is g/n.

☆ Warnings: mild swearing? just Angel being Angel. Kinda crack, Charlie cries and it's all your fault.

No proofread.

 

 

You could ask anyone in and out of the hotel and get the same answer. Every. Single. Time.

Who is the biggest supporter of you and Lucifer's relationship? Charlie Morningstar.

 

Not that there was much competition; truth be told, she was the only one who cared enough about your relationship, always asking how your dates were going and if her father was treating you right.

And of course, Angel, who was suspiciously very interested in your partner, but you weren't planning on answering his questions, you prefer to keep his dick size to yourself.

 

That is why you find it unnecessary, so weird, to have the whole hotel's residents in the lobby waiting for the so-important announcement that Lucifer wanted to make; you love him? Yes, you will always be by his side? Definitely. Now, does that mean you want to? Right now, you are not sure.

Right before everyone's eyes, you stand beside your lover, who looked so excited and you could swear was about to jump in joy. Your energy doesn't match his, and you only give Charlie a small smile every now and then to let her know everything is alright.

He cleared his throat. "Now, you may wonder why we reunited you here today," he said, his voice denoting mistery. That made you chuckle. He is such a showman. "My love and I have big news!"

 

"We're having a baby!" He said it with one of the biggest smiles you had seen on his face.

 

"What!?"

"I'm having A BABY BROTHER!?"

 

"Well, not exactly," you interrupted before anyone else could speak or Lucifer started his theatrics again. "I think the appropriate word is "babies."  The comments started again.

 

"Damn, I knew that dick was good," Angel said.

 

☆◦ •◦☆

For someone who loves you so much and could kiss the ground you walk on, Lucifer was hard to convince to go on a walk with you. He surrenders the moment you say you are, in fact, going on with or without him, following after you.

You could see in his face that he was not having the time of his life. You remember the first time he stepped on the hotel, doing his best to not call it shit right there, and the streets in Pentagram City were not different from that; in fact, it was worse.

You just couldn't help it. It was nice to go on a walk around the streets; it was something you always enjoyed. Your lover's presence scaring away every soul who looked in your direction was just a treat.

 

When you suddenly stopped, Lucifer, who was following a step behind you, called your name with curiosity.

 

You couldn't find many animals in hell—well, not in the pride ring—but when a hellborn brings an animal, it is common for it to be the pet of someone. That's why you're now standing there, surprised to see at least five baby ducks on the side of the walk, running around.

"Look at those cute ones!" Your lover exclaims besides you with a babyish voice, as he kneels to take one of the ducks on his hand. "Darling, look! Is so precious!" You smiled, the image before you so breathtaking; you followed his actions, now rubbing one of the little ones head with your finger.

You counted six ducks; they seemed to be no more than three days old. Looking around, you tried to get a glimpse of the ducks mother, but it seemed like they were all by themselves; it nearly broke your heart.

"Darling! We can't just leave them here!" You turn your head to look at Lucifer, who was trying to hold all of the ducks in his arms; it was actually cute.

 

☆◦ •◦☆

To see the King of Hell walking around the hotel with six ducks and one Niffty following him as if he were a mama duck was something nobody expected, but they seemed to be getting used to the idea.

Husk mentioned he is, in fact, the mama duck, and you were the father.

What really took you off guard was to see Charlie resting her head on Vaggie's shoulder, crying over the baby brother you guys allegedly made her think of.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated 💞

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 21

Emily Prentiss x reader Warnings; language, minor alcohol, minor anxiety/worry but it's all fluff otherwise. 3k. Wow. We're finally here. It lowkey feels super surreal. The passage of time is wild and I don't remember when I started writing this fic, though I know I had a lot of it written before I started posting so that likely makes it seem longer. When it all comes down to it, this is one of my favourite fics that I've written. I'm proud of it. I'm incredibly thankful to everyone who's been reading it, reblogging and commenting, you are all wonderful and amazing. Stay tuned for plenty more one shots and lots of fun with our favourite characters in the future! Don't wanna miss a fic? Sign up for taglist here! Liked the story? Send me a ko-fi!

Now that you’ve finished the fic please feel free to head into my inbox & leave a legit honest review!! It helps me know what y’all like, what you didn’t like & how to improve future writing both here & elsewhere! 😘🩷

To say that Emily’s mind was not focused over the next twenty four hours would have been an understatement. She knew that dinner was occupying her thoughts, trying to think of the best way to get her words out without fumbling all over them or saying the wrong thing. She almost considered practicing by writing them down, having a speech ready to go if she forgot what she was supposed to be saying. She started to wonder if that alone was enough, if words would be strong enough to win you over or if she needed to stop for flowers, dessert or even something fancier on the way over to your place.

She thought she was doing a decent job of keeping it under wraps while at work until Tara asked what break in the case her and DiNozzo had discovered. When Emily’s brow furrowed the other woman pointed out Tony had been in her office for nearly an hour, the two of them involved in a deep conversation and she could only assume they’d discovered something. Emily’s cheeks burned as she bluffed the best reasoning she could think of before excusing herself back to her office. While the case had been the original reason Tony popped into her office, she’d roped him in to staying, saying he was the king of all movies and tropes, wondering if maybe now was the time for some grand gesture.

He'd shot that idea down, which is why she was pulling up to your place empty handed except for a bottle of wine. The biggest grand gesture she was planning was to greet you with a kiss neither of you would be able to forget. Her heart thudded against her rib cage as she waited for the elevator, letting out a breath in an attempt to relax herself the best she could, a kiss was a kiss, the worst thing that could happen was that you wouldn’t read into it the way she did.

You swung the door open, a soft smile on your cheeks as you stepped back to let her into your apartment. Her hand quickly found your waist but any and all plans she had immediately fell out the window at the hesitancy and anxiety wafting off you and vibrating through the air. She could tell your shoulders were tensed, and you didn’t melt into her embrace the way you normally did, so she settled for a kiss on the cheek as per your usual greeting, following you into the kitchen as she passed off the bottle of wine.

“I’ve got a white open if you want to start with that?” You offered, tucking the bottle she’d brought into the fridge and she nodded.

“Yeah, that’s perfect.” She smiled softly at you, watching you pull down a glass to fill for her, adding in a couple of ice cubes just as she liked it.

“How’s the case?” You asked, picking up your own wine as you leant against the island across from her, “Tony mentioned it was still pretty dead ended, I was kinda surprised you had time to make it tonight.”

“It’s a case.” She shrugged, “there’s only so much we can do right now. Figured it was best to let everyone have the night off, come back clear headed tomorrow.”

As her eyes swept through the kitchen she felt her own anxiety beginning to settle into her bones, her heart still strumming faster than usual in her chest. You had made the plan to stay in for dinner, so she wasn’t confused over your very casual attire of pyjama shorts and a cardigan, but aside from the wine bottle, there was no sign of intending to host tonight.

“Bummer.” You let out a sigh as you took a sip of wine, catching the way Emily nearly jumped at the sound of your voice, her jaw tightening and you were quick to finish you sentence, “about the case! Not that you had time to come over. That’s good, I’m glad. I just uh..” you let out an awkward laugh she wasn’t used to hearing, “didn’t want to make it sound like I was happy there was some psycho killer still out there.”

It was Emily’s turn to chuckle, taking another large sip of her drink, “no, I get it, it’s a tricky line to walk…”

Her accidentally chosen words hung heavily in the air, weighing down on both of you as you let out a quiet hum, staring over her shoulder, your wine glass in front of your face. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest so heavily you were almost certain Emily could hear it or at least could see the way the pulse point in your neck was jumping. It was part of the reason you’d pulled away so quickly at the front door, you didn’t want her to be able to feel it, or your clammy hands, she didn’t need to know you were nervous.

“Hey…” you were almost certain your voice cracked, “I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.”

Her face shot up, trying to control the expression written across it when she finally caught your eye, “oh, yeah. Me too, but you first.”

You downed the rest of your wine, your glass likely hitting the island with a little too much velocity as the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could take a second thought. “I think we should end the arrangement.”

Emily felt her heart drop into her stomach, the butterflies that were once there crushed into a churning of bile as she swallowed. This certainly wasn’t what she had expected, she thought she’d read the situation right, followed Tony’s advice that was supposed to lead her in the right direction. Then she felt incredibly stupid, she read body language and people for a living when she’d known them for all of two seconds. Yet she’d spent incredibly intimate and personal hours with you and still didn’t manage to get the right vibe.

“Oh…I, okay.” She placed the half full glass of wine, her eyes not totally focused on anything before she scooped up her bag, “I’ll uh… get out of your hair then.”

You’d caught the way her face fell ever so briefly before she managed to mask it, your heart squeezing in your chest as you darted around the island, managing to catch her wrist in your hand.

“No! Emily, please, no.” You tugged her back to you and when she finally did focus on you there was an evident shimmer of tears threatening to spill into her eyes, “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.” You let out a shaky laugh, tripping over your words you were speaking so quickly, “well, I guess it is what I meant, but not how I meant it.”

“You… want to rewrite the contract?” She asked hesitantly and you felt the heat creeping up your cheeks.

“More like I was thinking about ripping up the contract…”

There was a moment of relief washing through Emily that you could feel sparking through your body as she let out a breath. Her gaze was still pouring into you and the entire room suddenly felt too hot, causing you to shove up the sleeves of your cardigan, making sure they were settled above your elbows before undoing a couple of buttons to give you a little cool room to breathe. Emily’s eyes darted over your body as her mind continued to race.

“Listen, I.. god…�� you shook your head with a laugh. Despite reciting what you wanted to say for hours, you were still totally flustered when it came to saying it to her face. It didn’t help that you suddenly noticed the way her eyes were flitting between your arms and your thighs. “What?”

She looked up, a curious expression on her face, “no blood drawn?”

“Huh?” Your brow furrowed, head titling in the adorable way Emily loved when you were utterly confused. When she was done shooting you heart eyes she suddenly realized her mistake, her tongue swiping out the corner of her mouth as she began to stutter over her words.

“Uh, just… last time you went out of town you had blood drawn.” She shrugged, “I guess I thought it was some kind of travel, germaphobe, don’t want to pick up a flu or something…” She trailed off, kicking herself for letting it slip out in the first place. Her eyes darted down to your thighs again before flicking up to your collarbone, tracing the line up your neck.

Your face relaxed, lips curving up into a small smile when you caught on to what she was doing, and what she really meant. “No…” You shook your head softly, reaching out to squeeze at her hand, “no blood drawn.”

You felt your chest swell, and Emily wanted nothing more than to kiss you to high heaven in that moment, never wanting to drop your hand no matter what the cost. Instead of getting her chance you spoke again, which, honestly, was probably for the best.

“God…” you laughed again, running a hand through your hair, “I really don’t know how to do this, I’ve never done it before.”

“Wait, what?” Her head tilted, “I thought you like, made a side hustle out of sugar babying.”

“No!” You laughed, “Oh my god I’ve done it once and that was like twenty years ago. We had a very specific end date written into the contract and knew nothing was ever going to come of it aside from my tuition.”

“But you’re so knowledgeable about the subject.” She pointed out, thinking back to how confidently you’d flown through the first few months of your relationship, how you always seemed to be a step or two ahead of her when it came to navigating your way through it.

“I’ve done my research?” You shrugged, “seen a lot of examples with Heather. Hell, with a good chunk of other politicians. Listen,” you squeezed at her hand again, pulling the focus back to the topic at hand, “I don’t know how to navigate it like this.” You gestured between the two of you, “I’m not good at it, I guess it’s another reason I’ve stayed so committed to the job… being committed to a person just kind of scares me. I’ve never felt safe enough to open up the way I needed to, never been relaxed around another person to just… let them into my life so comfortably. I don’t know why things happened so differently with you, so incredibly easily and I think that kinda freaks me out too, but I think that fear is more than worth it if it gives me the chance to be with you…really be with you. Because that’s all I really want.”

When she looked up from your joined hands Emily could hear her heart hammering between her ears, the butterflies from her stomach slowly creeping into her chest. You were fully opening yourself up to her, no matter how much it scared you and behind the hesitancy in your eyes she could see something else pouring out, something that she’d been seeing for weeks but was never ballsy enough to say something about.

“I’m hearing everything your saying and believe me I want to respond and I will, but can I do something first?” She asked.

“Uh… yeah, sure.” Your brow furrowed for a second, thinking that she had to take a call, that over your racing heartbeat you hadn’t been able to hear her phone vibrate.

Instead you were letting out a little squeak in surprise when Emily stepped toward you, her hands gently cupping your face as she brought her lips to yours. Your arms easily wound around her shoulders, pulling her body directly into yours so you could absolutely melt against her. You were instantly lost into the kiss, feeling like everything inside of you was exploding in the best way possible. Somehow the thundering in Emily’s chest was calming down as her lips moved against yours with ease, as if that was exactly where they were meant to be. The sweet smell of your shampoo invaded her nose, you invaded every single one of her senses and there was absolutely nothing else that she could ever possibly want.

Her tongue traced the seam of your lips and you easily parted them, wanting nothing more than to be able to fully taste her. Your had crept up the back of her neck, fingers gently toying with the roots of her hair, your thumb stroking at her skin. Her tongue explored your mouth, rolling against your own and she couldn’t help but let out a small groan into the kiss. When your fingers ever so slightly tugged on her hair she retaliated by nipping at your lower lip while her own curved up into a grin. A small laugh broke free from your mouth, neither of you pulling away as you relaxed deeper into each other, giggles and smiles prevalent through a series of smaller kisses until you couldn’t stop them.

Emily’s forehead rested against your own as she stole one more kiss, her hand cupping your chin, thumb tracing your lower lip and you couldn’t help but press a tender kiss to it.

“I know it can be scary…” she started, “it scares me too and honestly I’m not sure if I’m particularly great at it either. I’ve been trying to untangle my thoughts and emotions for weeks, maybe even longer and it’s been driving me insane. All that I really know is that I love spending time with you, I’m happier when you’re around, you make me laugh, you encourage me to be my best, I even sleep better with you next to me and I want so much more of all of that in my life. So…maybe we can figure it out together?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, a bright smile on your cheeks and a sparkle in your eye that absolutely made her weak in the knees, “I’d really like that.”

With another adorable giggle you surged closer to her, kissing her again, your hands tugging at the fabric of her shirt, pulling her impossibly close. You couldn’t get enough of each other and it made Emily laugh again between the kisses.

“Jeeze,” she shook her head, “I can’t believe DiNozzo was right.”

“DiNozzo?” You murmured; head full of butterflies as you stole another kiss. Though once his name was on your lips you were crashed back down to earth and you leant your torso away from her, “were you talking to Tony about our love life?!”

“Uh, maybe?” She winced, her cheeks tinging as she laughed, “I mean, it turned out he did give some pretty good advice.”

“Oh god.” You hung your head, “I am never going to hear the end of this.”

“At least it was worth it?” She suggested and you smiled across at her, pressing your lips to hers.

“It definitely was.”

Her hand caressed your cheek again as she leant in to kiss you, unable to help herself at this point and you weren’t about to deny her. Right as your lips met you jumped at the sound of the doorbell.

“You expecting someone?” She asked, her arm almost tightening around your waist as you laughed, swatting at her arm.

“It’s dinner.” You grabbed your wallet from the island, “did you really think I was going to cook after such a long day?”

Emily shook her head at the look in your eyes as you disappeared around the corner. Choosing to take the time you were dealing with the driver to collect your wine glasses from the island, refilling both before selecting cutlery and setting things up on the coffee table.

“Hope you’re okay with Indian,” you started, setting the bag down on the table as you tucked a leg under yourself on the couch, “I had a craving.”

“Cuisine doesn’t matter as long as I’m sharing it with you.” She replied and you felt your heart thud in your chest, your body melting at the look in her eyes as she gazed over at you.

“You fucking sap.” You teased, choosing to distract her from the misting of happy tears in your eyes by jumping into her lap, your lips meeting hers for another kiss.

Emily’s hands ghosted up your sides as yours settled on her face, thumbs stroking at her cheeks while your tongue explored her mouth. You let out a happy sigh into the kiss that she eagerly swallowed down, her entire being relaxing at the way you were melting into the embrace.

“What?” She asked softly, a smile on her face as she nudged your nose with hers.

“Nothing.” You shook your head, unable to control your own bright smile.

“Oh c’mon.” She prodded at your sides, earning a squeal from you, “don’t pull that crap anymore.”

You laughed, gazing down at her as your thumbs continued to soothe across her cheeks, “I just guess I’ve spent so long avoiding it and being scared that I never realized it could be this easy to fall in love...”

“You’re in love with me?” If it had been even a day earlier the question would have been filled with worry, but right now Emily asked it with a tease in her voice, because she already knew the answer. You didn’t need to say it, she could feel it, the warmth flowing through the room, wrapping itself around the two of you as you perched in her lap. She wasn’t scared to hear anything you had to say and she knew she felt the same way.

“Yeah…yeah I am.”

“Good.” Her hand gently wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you to her for another kiss, this one deeper and a little longer than the last. One that you could feel her emotion in, joy dancing deep through your veins as your heart began to strum in time with hers, “because I’ve been in love with you for weeks. I never thought we could end up like this when we started… but here we are.”

“Mmm.” You left a kiss on the tip of her nose, “and I wouldn’t have it any either way.”

_____________________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @regalmilfs4me @ara-a-bird @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @hopedoesntknow @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx cx @momily @nilaues @borinxnovakxprentiss @soverign @v3nusxsky @mccdreamys-writes @l4yne @obsessedwjill @asolitaryrose3 @lisqueen @mrs-prentiss @whitewinewithice @d33pd3sire-blog @daffodil-heart @maximoffcarter @i-lovefandom @chimnlex @moonlightjxuregui @chestnutninny @gamma-rae-bursts @just-moondust @idkifimasub @gaydragonwitch @dowsedwithbleach @divergentalwaysandforever-blog @m1lfsh4ke

[factual-fantasy]

25 asks! Thank you! :}} ✊

@candyglumboy

I haven't dropped the project, but its slowed down a lot with the creation of my Digital Circus AU and with my returning art block.. 😔

@avaeevo

Other than Kaufmo having a dark sense of humor and being good friends with Jax.. also his brotherhood with that other clown guy.? I'm still developing his character..

However, there's something I've been thinking about for Kaufmo and his brother. I kind imagine the turning point in their relationship to look like this scene with Lars and Steven. Specifically 2:06 to 2:58

I'm thinking that Kaufmo entered the circus first and then his brother followed a few minutes later. Kaufmo eventually assumed that his brother is trapped here because he tried to follow him. He feels so guilty about it.. but at the same time.. he's kind'a glad he's here. Kaufmo doesn't know what he'd do if he didn't have his brother by his side..

@palettepainter

Abstractions are still a thing and there's supposed to be a handful of people who have abstracted. Caine tries everything he can to prevent abstractions and he takes this handful of humans as a hard and cold warning that he isn't trying hard enough..

After their abstractions he keeps them in the cellar because the dark and wide open environment with a shallow pool of water at their feet seems to.. keep them calm.. for some reason..

Caine has never stopped trying to unabstract these people and he will never stop trying..

The others are aware of abstraction and have seen it happen.. Sometimes Caine will allow other circus goers to visit their abstracted friends when they are at their calmest.

I have yet to decide if abstraction will be reversable in my AU.. 👀

Banana laffy taffy?? :DD

@kiki-is-hurt-but-not-anymore

When I read this I was just waking up so "behind me" was my bed and then the floor XDDD

XDD It caught me really off guard. Really funny!

@cherrycreamfairy

Thank you! :) I'm hangin in there as best I can, approaching another art block though <:/

@beryl-shade

Absolutely! If they ever wanted to Caine would relaunch the code for that adventure :)

Some of that comes from the support and effort from Caine to keep everyone sane. And a lot of that comes from the other circus goers providing an immense amount of comfort and emotional support <:}}

@nerdyskullcap

:DD Thank you so much!! :)) And I'm always kind'a hoping I have a change of heart and open up to fanart. But I just cant help that I'm not comfortable with it. <:/

@lunarmoon8361

Why? :(

@mimiocto

Yes I'm aware- but considering that's the only time I can recall him swearing vs Zooble who swears nearly every time she's on screen... yeah I like Kinger more-

XD Caine if he was in Coraline

@gachaclubideas

Aww Munna.. such a nostalgic Pokémon. 💞 And that other critter is so cute! :DDD

I imagine that Caine wouldn't thrust Pomni into an adventure right away. He would spend some time with her to delicately explain the situation and who he is. He would maybe then show her around a bit but eventually he would just leave her alone in her room for a while for her to process everything.

Eventually she would calm down and Caine would create a very mild in-house adventure to help her settle in and introduce her to the other members of the circus.

I think the 4 ace cards for a head is a neat design! But the giant hands.. I'm sure there's a reason for it but I'm not a fan- 💀

@caronaro-flipaclip

.... w h a t

I present to you, a treat.

Kermit drinkin malk

(Referencing this post)

I figured if she can have that little pink wing on her shoulder, why not just full on wings? That can actually fly??

@king-ryuusei

Gummigoo's bandana is actually supposed to look like a fruit roll up 😅 I've seen through the comments that the red and blue didn't translate well... he's due for a redesign-

@hhbluedynamite

Thank you! :DDD And while I don't think they would outwardly call the others their kids, (They're all adults so that's kind'a weird-) some of the others definitely find a sense of parental comfort and security in them <:)

@lathan-chillyfilm

I'd love to hear all about it! :DD

@ink-machine-kidd

He's still an NPC :00 its just that when he showed up in the circus, Caine didn't delete him. He let him stay for Pomni's sake. <:)

@taco-hyeh

[cruyuu]

265 is an insane chapter. i can't move on from it. yuji and sukuna being twins, fishing, shooting arrows... yuji's sad eyes after sukuna's "i feel nothing"... like am i insane for thinking that yuji really wanted to get sukuna to open up there??? there's no other explanation for that chapter otherwise. god these two 😭😭

Sorry for a late answer anon!

I already ranted a bit about that chapter and tried to make sense of it. You are right, anon. There is absolutely no need for Yuuji to go that far for someone like Sukuna and then say... "I loathe you." as an explanation because it makes zero sense. He could've ripped him away from Megumi like 20 times already, and he claims he can kill him, but (just like Sukuna), I guess he has to hate on him (in a very fond way) first at least because priorities lol.

Because spending time together and trying to change that person's mind, talking with him constantly as if just wishing he would join in and say something about himself is the definition of loathing an individual, right? Silly me for thinking that was interest. For thinking that was care. For thinking that Yuuji wants to hear his thoughts and see how he thinks. Wants to try and understand him. Learn more about him. Otherwise, exactly like you asked, why? What's the point? There's no purpose to 265 and it could've easily been replaced by 266 wholly. He could've said all of that to a particular individual who needs it (and who Yuuji misses), and funnily enough, it would fit the shoe more so than it would with Sukuna. Why does Yuuji still care about the person who ruined his life enough to perform his very first Domain Expansion and spend nearly an entire day with him, hanging out? Really weird.

Like 266 just confirmed that. The sheer contrast between the chapters is just insane. I have a post about that which is half-written because I can't even put everything into words properly but I'll try my best to finish it when I'm not that busy to show you exactly what I mean.

Also the fact that Sukuna looks exactly like Yuuji, not in his true form but dressed like him, totally like his twin. That Yuuji is taking him everywhere, commenting on everything, from food, down to animals, seemingly as if to try and find a way to engage him in conversation yet Sukuna keeps his mouth shut. He even chooses to shoot arrows with him, something which is more Sukuna's thing than Yuuji's, just to get him to show anything at all. Yuuji's an open book here, and he tells him even that he considers these little things important (his speech about roles and life), but Sukuna brushes him off.

And Yuuji looks sad? Disappointed? because Sukuna remains closed off. His behavior towards Yuuji is unexplainable, and even his hatred is... just that. Nothing. Even if Sukuna keeps contradicting himself at every turn when it comes to Yuuji, treating everyone the same but not him, there's still no explanation about why he does that.

And this is why Yuuji talked about meaning in life. He was practically explaining his newfound viewpoint to Sukuna, because he was expecting an answer regarding his hate. Something like "Okay but there must be a reason for your uncontrollable hatred when it comes to me. Can you tell me what it is?" because to Yuuji, everything means something. It's not just that– some pointless, meaningless thing.

Sukuna's response is "I understand, but I do not care." yet he got pissed off when he recognized Yuuji's crestfallen expression as pity. Like why is he even mad about that? I thought he only lived for himself and didn't care about anything. I thought he felt nothing. I thought he didn't live to understand others, yet he cannot understand Yuuji and his expression makes him mad.

265 seems to expose Sukuna as a feeler in denial, who clearly has a problem with Yuuji's way of looking at him, but also generally has a problem with understanding Yuuji (still). Even though these two understand other people, with similar viewpoints, they're stuck when it comes to each other. Sukuna loathes weak people and yet he compliments everyone who is weaker than him. He calls them strong. Everyone except Yuuji.

One of my friends thinks Sukuna's anger towards Yuuji is because Yuuji cannot seem to hate Sukuna like he hated Mahito, which is a very interesting observation, ngl. It feels like no matter what Sukuna does, Yuuji will still find a way of pardoning it, while with Mahito he never did such a thing. He showed pure coldness. The scene of Mahito losing showcases Yuuji appearing cold-blooded, further exemplified by the prey/predator imagery and winter. Truly no notion of kindness. With Sukuna, that doesn't seem to be the case considering... well.. the entirety of 265. Sukuna had even done worse than Mahito and continually promises to Yuuji to do worse, only to ignite hate, but is spared of real, genuine, absolute hatred. He still gets a chance. He still gets, "Come back to me." He gets "pitied".

And that's the very thing I tried hard to figure out– the whole "pity" thing– because Yuuji doesn't appear to be pitying Sukuna. It's something else. It's something way more closer and kinder than that. It may appear cold and like "pity" to Sukuna, while to us, it is presented differently. This is because paneling is extremely important!

When Yuuji states "if this is what all that anger had amounted to" we, the readers, see him be sad, but Sukuna doesn't see that expression. He's looking ahead and is just listening to him. By his voice alone, he comes to a conclusion and asks if Yuuji is pitying him and when he turns to look at him, Yuuji's face is shrouded in darkness until the panel where we are met with the coldest way of pitying someone known to mankind, where Yuuji confirms his thoughts, yet still offers him a chance to still be spared.

That is Sukuna's explanation regarding what Yuuji feels, not what Yuuji truly feels and it doesn't entirely make sense because to pity someone is to feel sadness or sympathy for someone's unhappiness or bad situation. How can it be pity when Yuuji doesn't even know his situation? When Sukuna isn't unhappy nor in a bad situation? Plus he doesn't even know anything about him? If anything it feels like Yuuji is mourning the fact he has to kill him (that that is his "bad situation" in this case) and cannot reach him, that they cannot co-exist and that yes, this is what he's feeling sad about.

You could, also, argue differently. That it is precisely that– because he has no explanation for anything and keeps him in the dark about himself, and continually just keeps pushing him away. That he cannot care for him. Hell, even Yuuji's mindset which clashes heavily with Sukuna's is enough of a reason why.

We (the readers) see Yuuji be sad while Sukuna doesn't and Yuuji confirms his thoughts instead of offering a more fitting explanation because what is the point? Sukuna had already stated "He doesn't feel anything" so he won't get nor understand what Yuuji feels.

The pure misunderstanding is in focus between these two in that chapter. The whole "pity" which is, in fact, not that, because otherwise Yuuji wouldn't be offering Sukuna to come back to him, but would instead just try to kill him, not just keep giving him chances and allowing him to live and cause more mayhem than he already did.

But still, the whole insanity of this chapter comes from Yuuji's behavior towards Sukuna. Like why think of changing perspectives, of spending time trying to understand and offering that very same person (who had taken the very person you claim to care about) life and yet, when it comes to that other person, you're saying "it's okay if you choose to die even though I would be lonely without you"? It's so fucking absurd. You want someone you hate to live more so than you want someone you care about to? You're telling your entire life story to a person who never gave a shit about you to... change his perspective on life? Yet you're doing nothing to change the mind of someone who you'll be lonely without? Insanity.

So yeah, anon. You can see how crazy it all is when you really think about it. I would really love it if we can finally see these two being honest with each other because that seems to be this big, big issue here, where everyone is talking for them (even the story), instead of you know, them.

[echobx]

the one with the letter - JJ Maybank × ex!fem!reader

summary: you have to figure out if your love for JJ is stronger than what the world throws at you

warnings: Luke..., hurt/comfort, angsty, happy ending

word count: 2k

author's note: part 3 bc I had to. it didn't feel right to let you guys hanging. and no matter how much I try to write a JJ fic that doesn't have a happy ending, it just doesn't work. he always finds a way. he's one persistent bbg.

part 1 | part 2

The two days that you are supposed to stay in bed and focus on getting better feel like a month to you.

Going back to school feels even worse. Everyone seems to have their eyes pinned on you, to the point where you find yourself hiding in the photo lab to avoid everyone and everything for just the half hour that is your lunchtime.

“Jesus, y/n!” Pope jumps and nearly drops his camera in the process. “What are you doing here?”

But yet again you aren't granted the simplicity of loneliness when you need it most.

“Hiding,” you reply, looking up at him and his sad smile.

“Why?”

“Because everyone hates me. I get it. I'd hate myself too,” you whisper, and he crouches down by your side.

“I don't hate you,” he shakes his head, and you close your eyes to focus. He should hate you. You keep on hurting his best friend. He should definitely hate you.

He places the camera on the floor next to him before sighing. “Love's messy.”

“No, that's just me,” you say, picking at your nails. “I'm the problem.”

“You're allowed to feel sad or hurt or anything,” he whispers and takes your hand in his. “I'm glad you're better. JJ was losing his mind when your mom kicked him out. And he's not much better now either. Refused to come to school because you didn't reply to his letter.”

Your head perks up, and you furrow your brows, blinking a few times. “Letter?”

“Yeah, the letter he left you at the hospital,” Pope explains, but your confused expression lets it dawn on him that you had never known about a letter.

“There's no letter. I don't have a letter,” you insist, and he runs his hand over his face.

“Shit,” he hisses silently, and you stand up, heart pounding when you reach for your bag and pull it over your shoulder.

You curse your mom on the whole way down to the Cut, and it's a long way, but you don't stop. You can't.

“I have to go,” you mumble, and even though he tries to stop you, you won't let him.

When you arrive at the Shack, you can hear them screaming, it's not unlike what you had witnessed before. But this time you don't stop and wait for it to die down a little before walking in.

“You're an ungrateful bastard!” Luke yells, but as soon as he sees you, he stops and a mean smile plays on his face. “Haven't seen that one in a while. Why are you here? He knock you up?” Luke taunts and you swallow hard.

“Don't talk about her like that,” JJ snaps at him, taking a step closer to his dad. His fists are balled and the knuckles bruised.

“Let go!” you scream from the top of your lungs, and for some reason they stop to look at you. One step forward as you glare at Luke, and he drops JJ to the floor, a shallow thump tells you that his head hit the wood not so softly. But you can't drag your eyes off Luke, if you do, he wins.

“She's a bitch just like her mama,” Luke spits and JJ lunges forward, but he's pushed back instantly. You try to focus on your breathing to not lose yourself in the pain that is flooding your body as you watch him get hurt.

“You don't get to tell me what to do in my own house, Missy,” he glares, but you take another step closer, your eye twitching.

“I'm not afraid of you,” you hiss, and he scoffs, but you don't give him enough time to come up with a comment. “You're nothing but a drunk, child beating asshole. You don't deserve him. And it's baffling to me how someone like you was capable of fucking up so massively, but he still turned out better than anyone I've ever met. And I know I don't deserve him either, but at least I don't make him feel like shit just for being born.”

It feels like a million tons are lifted off your chest when you hear the screen door hit against the wood and the engine of his truck start and drive off.

Luke swallows, looking down at JJ. “If she's not gone by the time I get back, you can look for a new home, boy.”

“You shouldn't have done that,” JJ shakes his head as you turn to him. He has a cut on his lip and his right eye is starting to slowly swell up.

“You're hurt,” you whisper and reach up to touch his cheek, but he turns away.

“Why are you here? Wanna rip my heart out a third time?” There's resentment in his voice, but you get stuck on his counting. What was the second time?

“I came to ask something. Something important,” you whisper, but it has escaped your mind. The condition he is in feels worse to you than before. It's like a repetitive gut punch paired with slaps to your face, but your pain wasn't physical, it was all in your head.

“Can I please take care of you?” you beg, and he swallows but nods.

You clean his cuts and softly press the cold, wet washcloth to his eye. Although you haven't patched him up in months, it feels like no time has passed since the last time.

The bathroom is a mess, just like the whole house, but you don't care, you never did. It makes sense to you. It was one of the reasons why JJ had always felt more at home at your home than his own. It was the reason, why you rather stayed at the Château together than at his or at yours, where you'd always run the risk of your mom kicking him out.

“Thank you,” JJ whispers and takes the washcloth from your hand to hold onto it by himself.

“Why did you say I was going to break your heart a third time?” you ask tentatively, sitting down on the closed toilet opposite of him, while his hand clasps around the edge of the tub he's sitting on.

“I didn't wanna make you feel worse about it. It wasn't my choice to make. And it was too late already, so it didn't matter. But it hurt, it still hurts,” he mumbles without looking at you. “I keep having this nightmare- it's not really a nightmare, I guess. But when I wake up, I feel worse, and I wish the dream was real instead of my actual life.”

“What happens in your dream?” you whisper.

“You never leave me, we- we have the kid, and it's not easy, but it's happy. It feels warm and it doesn't hurt. And then I wake up, and it's just painful. It hurts so much, y/n.”

“I'm sorry,” you apologize, but you know it's not enough. You know it won't undo all the pain you caused him.

“And now you're here to tell me what? That I need to move on? Find someone better?” JJ's eyes find yours, and it feels like getting stabbed while someone keeps twisting the knife.

“So you talk to him but not me?”

“Pope said you wrote me a letter,” you start, and he rolls his eyes.

“JJ, listen to me,” you grab his face with both of your hands, forcing him to look at you. “I never got it. I was alone, and she said she told you to leave, and then you didn't text me. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me after that night, that's why I didn't text you either. But I don't know about any letter. I mean, I didn't even know it existed before Pope found me in the photo lab and told me, and then I ran here immediately. I'm sorry.” You take a deep breath, and he searches your face, and for once you're not even lying to yourself anymore.

“I was scared is all, that's why I wrote it,” he shrugs his shoulders, and you drop your hands down to your thighs.

“What did it say?”

“That I wish I could turn back time and make you feel more loved than I did. That I hate seeing you smile at that jerk. That I- That I don't want to ever lose you again. You scared me so much, and I don't know why you ran after him, and then you fell, and I wasn't fast enough, I couldn't stop your fall. And I felt like I lost you for good, forever, and John B drove like a maniac, and it wasn't fast enough. And then they didn't let me stay with you at first, and I had to sit there while they did all those tests, and they didn't tell me shit. I wanted to stay, wait until you woke up but- Your mom said it was my fault, and I believed her. Because it's always my fault. So I wrote it down, how much I do love you but that it's not gonna work because it can't be, she's right. And I asked her to give it to you. I promised to stay away if she would just give you the letter. Because I couldn't- I thought you were dead, and I was ready to end it too, if it meant I could be with you. I know that's stupid, but that's how I felt. And now you know, and you can leave, because you should leave. I'm not good for you, I never was, and you knew that, that's why you left me,” he finishes his venting, but you have no words left in you. There was nothing you could say that would make it better because words were not enough to encompass how you feel.

“What are you doing?” JJ whispers against your lips, but you kiss him again. And he kisses you back, cautiously slow.

You lean forward, brushing the palm of your hand over his cheek before holding onto it and placing a soft kiss on his lips. He tastes like beer and blood, a weird mix, but a familiar one at that.

“I'm not gonna leave ever again, I promise,” you whisper, and he looks into your eyes, pain and anxiety still prevalent in his own.

“Are you sure?” he asks, brushing through your hair with his free hand.

“Positive. We can get our own place, just you and me. Maybe that'll make it easier,” you smile and he nods. “I'm very sorry for what I did,” you apologize again.

“I made Kie write those notes. She didn't want to. Said you don't deserve it after all,” he mumbles. “They don't know about- You know…”

“I didn't tell anyone either,” you admit and he nods.

“Yeah, but he deserves it,” you press your face into his chest. His bed, his arms, all of it makes you feel more alive than anything you had done the past months.

“You stood up to my dad,” JJ chuckles. “That was incredibly stupid, you know that, right?”

“You really don't think you deserve me? You know I'm nothing but a weed smoking delinquent, right?”

“Who said that?” you pull away to look at him.

“Guess,” he snorts, and you furrow your brows in anger.

“I hate her. That's the only thing he was right about. She is a bitch,” you exhale the anger over your own mother.

“What'ya think happened between them two?” JJ wonders and you sigh.

“My mom being my mom, and Luke being Luke…, I'm guessing nothing pretty.”

“I love you, y/n. And I don't think I'll ever stop, no matter how hard it gets,” JJ whispers and kisses the top of your head.

“It's gonna be pretty hard, knowing you,” you giggle, and he fakes a gasp.

“I see how it is. First, you steal my heart, then my jokes.”

“I learned from the best,” you grin at him and he kisses you. It feels like the very first time. Exciting and with millions of butterflies in your stomach, and at the same time it's a forever kiss. It's a promise that you won't break, because you finally understand that you can't be without him.

“I love you, too, J,” you hush against his lips, and he smiles into another kiss.

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

taglist: @ijustwantttoread @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @princessmaybank @kys4-20 @drwstarkeyy @immyowndefender @julczimozart

[lincolndjarin]

.

// tw for graphic descriptions of sexual assault. this is just a vent post bc i have nowhere els to get these feeling out sorry.

yeah so idk everyone can ignore this i just wanted to write it out bc that's what i do and this is so much but i write things out, like, that's what i do.

i don't really have anyone i can talk to anymore. im not exaggerating when i say i have one friend who still lives in the same state as i do. and she is quite literally always in a lab because she's trying to cure cancer so it's like woof how do i bring her my problems when i only get to see her a couple times a month? i don't want her to associate what little time we spend together with just me complaining bc i love her so much and i don't want to do that to her when she so rarely gets a break. the rest of my friends are scattered around the country so when they are in town we usually just go out and call it a night. and my best friend moved to another state in august. i miss him every day. he's quite literally my soulmate and because of the sudden distance between us i made a conscious effort to give him some space. he's in a new place and i wanted to give him time to adjust and make new friends so i've really only been texting him when there's an emergency or if he texts me first.

so i've sort of just been filled with an overwhelming sense of being alone in a way i never have been previously. it's a big part of why i started writing. a lot of people made comments about how when i first started writing bks that the update schedule was crazy bc i was posting nearly 3 chapters a week and that was because i was desperate to pour my attentions into something other than the fact that i was alone.

all of that is nonsense and in all honestly just a precursor to what is actually upsetting me.

a few of my friends are in town and last night we went out to a club that we used to go to all the time. I haven't gone out in quite some time so i was pretty excited and because it's a gay club i usually feel pretty safe there, i've always been with a large group of friends and i have never felt threatened there because the people are always extremely kind and there is very attentive security.

because i haven't been out in months i definitely overestimated how much alcohol i could handle. i was pretty wasted when we arrived but we got there early enough that it was relatively empty for the first few minutes and we were able to just sort of talk and hang out.

later that night i was with two of my friends dancing when i smiled at a guy who was dancing near us. I have never felt threatened by the men at this club, despite the fact that i am usually pretty wary about men in general due to the fact that i assaulted multiple times by a family friend when i was young.

i was heavily intoxicated at this point but still lucid. i smile at everyone, i make a conscious effort to compliment as many people as possible when i'm out and to smile at everyone.

before i fully knew what was happening he was behind me groping me. one of the two friends that i was dancing with gave me a sort of thumbs up thumbs down signal to see if i was okay, i just sort of frowned and nodded, i didn't really know what to do so i just sort of let it happen, it seemed relatively harmless enough.

after another minute or so he became aggressive, he grabbed me by my chest and held me in place, he bit me and humped me until he came against the back of my skirt. he had not said a single word to me at this point. immediately after that happened i grabbed my friend by the arm and asked him if we could go outside to get some air.

when we recalled what had happened to my other friends it became clear that no one knew the extent of what had happened. they asked if i was okay and i smiled and nodded. i didn't want to ruin the first night we've had out in months so i made a few jokes about it and we went back inside.

i spent the rest of the night staying as close as possible to my friends with my back to the wall.

we didn't leave for another hour or so because my friends were having fun and i told them i was fine. on several occasions throughout the night he would try to get near me again but i managed to avoid him without ever involving anyone else.

i didn't speak much on the car ride home, i had sobered up at that point because i had stopped drinking immediately after it had happened. i didn't cry until i went to bed that night and then i just went to sleep.

it's a little after noon now, i woke up a few hours ago and i just feel sort of empty. i've dealt with the aftermath of assault before but this is somehow worse because i had the opportunity to stop it and i didnt. when i was a kid it was easy to come to terms with the fact that it was never my fault. i was a little girl, the adults around me failed to protect me from what was happening and it was never on me.

but now i am an adult, who was drunk and dressed promiscuously in a club. and it's much harder to swallow because i didn't push him away and i could have asked for help and i didnt so ive just sort of spent this morning staring out the window and drinking lemonade because that's what i do on sundays.

and i feel more alone than i usually do because who am i supposed to talk to about this? i told my friends who were there last night that i was fine and i don't want to text anyone whos been out of town bc it's like 'hey it's been a while! lets catch up! i think i might have been assaulted last night!' and who wants to hear that.

so i guess i'll just do what i do to cope and i'll just write more.

idk. it's just been a rough 12 hours and im tired from all the crying and i really needed to get this out and this is the only place i could think to put this and im sorry if this is too much it's just been sitting stagnant in my mind and it helps me to write so thats what i did.

thats all i guess.

[galacticgraffiti]

20 Questions!

thanks for the tag @corvod (i dont know why it won't let me tag you help) (I also have to put this under a readmore I am incapable of short answers)

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 20 works right now... so many are unfinished I am hiding my face.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

331,532 (gahdamn)

What fandoms do you write for?

I used to write exclusively Star Wars, but I have somewhat lost motivation for that, at least for now. Currently, I write a lot for BG3 and I'm working on some TLT stuff!

What are your top five fics by kudos?

(1) Veman'alor (Boba Fett x reader) (2) October Thots (various SW characters x reader) (3) Ad'ika (Wrecker x reader - my very first fic!) (4) Big Love Ahead (Halsin x reader) (5) Daddy's Home (Boba Fett x reader)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do my best to respond to comments, especially on AO3 because that's all the interaction with the author that people get, so I try to make them feel appreciated for taking the time. I'm horrible at keeping up with comment-reblogs on tumblr, even if I try very hard. My brain gets overwhelmed sometimes.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm I have a Boba Fett x reader somewhere that I remember being pretty angsty but I can not for the life of me remember where I shoved it. The most current one I have is I Am Nothing (Like You Thought I Was) in which I put all my feelings about Ascendant!Astarion and abusive relationships.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Nearly all of them - I can't make my characters suffer without making them happy in the end apparently. Also I never finish anything lol

Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple of comments that were, if not hateful, still unkind towards me. I block very liberally these days :))) If people don't want to understand that you can simply Not Read what you don't like then they can fuck off.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Not exclusively (anymore), but a lot, yes. A lot of x reader, though I do enjoy writing about my OC(s) as well. Oddly enough, I really like writing about male characters even if I'm a lesbian.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't really. I admire people who have the braincells for it, but I settle in a universe and stay where I feel comfortable.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone once messaged me asking about it, but I never heard anything else so... no?

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have not! Collaboration is fun but so much work.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't really have one. Wait no, that's a lie. It's Gideon Nav and Harrowhark (I would die for them)- and thanks to Leo, it's now also Bloodweave (Gale x Astarion from BG3). I am consumed by them.

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

So many. Way too many. I really wish I could finish them all, so I'm willing it into existence instead of telling myself I won't lol

What are your writing strengths?

I love dialogue very much, I think I'm decently good at dirty talk specifically lol. But what I like the most is worldbuilding in the sense of making an existing world my own.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Typing things out that seem so clear in my head lmaooo

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I love it! I'm a huge language nerd, so I do it whenever possible, it feels more immersive to me that way. I appreciate translations being provided though.

First fandom you wrote for?

I think Star Wars may honestly have been it - I was never really active in a fandom before.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh damn a whammy at the end, huh? That's so hard. It's always the fic I'm currently working on the most, I think- so right now, it has to be Big Love Ahead. It feels so warm and comfortable to me.

This was so fun! I apologise to everyone who has tagged me in games and I haven't done them, I get real overwhelmed sometimes. No pressure tags for some mutuals @purgetrooperfox @certified-anakinfucker @baba-fett @ulchabhangorm @atriursa

[wordyneonlights]

Guess who ended up posting todayy

Hint: It was me.

This little number here is an excerpt of a story I tried/ am trying to write.

Context: Adil just got the call that his two friends (Alex and Erica) have just been in a car accident.

DISCLAIMER:

I wrote this a while ago so please don't hurt mini me too much

Reason why I'm posting it now is because I'm trying to get used to my writing from all eras

I also don't know much about hospitals or car accidents so please bear with any inconsistencies

Any constructive criticism is more than welcome, I really do want to get better so if you notice anything, you can dm me or leave a comment. Thanks for reading <3

Deep breaths. In out, in out.

That was the mantra that Adil kept repeating to himself, forming fists with his hands to stop them from shaking.

Deep breaths. In out, in out.

He tried his best to focused on the people around him. Raf pacing, Dani fidgeting, Joey staring at the black screen of her phone, Jamie and Ty talking in hushed whispers and Alex’s mom … her eyes closed, hands clasped, mouth moving in a silent prayer.

Adil tried his best to focus on these things, on these people, to stay strong for them. He couldn’t break down, not now, not here.

Deep breaths. In out, in out.

The doctors had told them that the accident was bad but he still had hope, hope that both of them would survive. That tomorrow he’d be able to visit them, and hear Alex say something stupid and watch Erica nearly choke on her laughter because of it.

Deep breaths. In out, in out.

But what if they didn’t? What if tomorrow, he was helping plan funerals? What if he had to be the one to break the news … first her grandma then her sister- No. He shouldn’t think that, he couldn’t think that. Both Erica and Alex were going to survive, both of them were going to wake up and-

“Adil!”

Dani’s voice took him out of his mind as he blinked and focused on her, frowning slightly

“Yeah?” his voice sounded more hoarse than he like so he cleared his throat and tried again, “Yeah?”

“Um, the doctor's coming, I think they’re ready to uh- tell us,” her voice cracked and shook as she tried to relay the information with a straight face. It wasn’t working. He could see how her lip trembled and how fast she was blinking, trying to stop herself from bursting into tears.

And Adil wanted to comfort her, he really did. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and let her cry into his shoulder. To reassure her, to be there for her… but he couldn’t. That wasn’t his place and sure enough, Joey was there in an instant. Leading Dani gently away from Adil and whispering in her ear, visibly calming her down.

He caught Ty’s eye as he turned away from the two of them and noticed the look that he was giving to him was one of pity. Adil moved his gaze away from him quickly as he focused on Raf, who had stopped pacing and now sat down with his knee bouncing, head in his hands.

Looking around Adil started to slowly realise how much he hated waiting. How much he despised watching the clock, being unable to do anything about it. It made him feel so … so useless, so insignificant.

“You ok?” he asked Raf, even though he already knew the answer

“Sure,” Raf replied, taking his head out of his hands to look at the boy next to him.

Although ,to Adil at least, it didn’t seem as though Raf was looking at more than through, his eyes seeming to be unfocused and glazed. He was about to speak again before his eyes widened and he cursed under his breath.

Adil frowned before following his line of sight and letting out a strangled breath of his own. Alex’s father had walked in with the doctor and it didn’t look good. Even though Adil had had his fair share of hospitals and doctors, he had never been able to read them.

‘They’d be amazing at poker,’ he thought to himself.

The both of them walked as everyone stood, the amount of nervous energy spinning around was enough to make Adil heave but he took a deep (albeit shaky) breath and faced the professional as he began to talk.

“Are you Erica’s mother?” she asked Alex’s mom who shook her head

“I'm her guardian,” she responded

Adil did a double take at that. Alex’s mom was one of Erica’s legal guardians? He wondered if Erica knew … if Alex knew. Although, the word itself felt hollow, guardian didn't begin to describe her role in Erica's life.

“Well, she’s in a stable condition for now. She sustained quite few minor injuries but quite a number of major ones-”

“Major ones?” Raf interrupted, his face ashen

“And you are?” the doctor asked

“Her boyfriend,”

“Ah, well,” she continued, giving a look to Alex’s mom who nodded her head

“Tell us the major ones,”

“Well, she has three fractured ribs, a broken leg and a brain hemorrhage that we were able to stabilise but we had to put her in a medically induced coma, ”

Dani gasped at that cutting the silence that descended on the group. Adil blinked fast his breath hitching in his throat as his eyes began to swim.

‘She's alive, she's alive, she's alive she's alive she's alive,’

“And my daughter?” Alex's mom asked, no longer able to hid the shake in her voice

The doctors eyes turned down and Adil could already hear it, he already knew what she was going to say. He had seen the same look in the doctor who had delivered the news about his father.

“I think you would like to sit down for this,” she directed at Alex’s parents before turning to the rest of us, “You too,”

They followed her instructions and he could feel his heart in his throat, uncomfortably pressing against his adam’s apple as the doctor began speaking again.

“When Alex came in, she was already in critical condition due to the fact that she was in the front of the car. We performed emergency surgery but,” she paused looking Alex’s mom in the eyes, “We- no I, wasn’t able to save her, I am truly sorry for your loss,”

Later, Dani told Adil that the wail that came from Alex’s moms mouth was inhuman. That she sobbed all the way from her hospital. She told him that she hadn’t seen Jamie in a week and that she had been holed up with Dani for the same amount of time. She told him that Raf practically lived in the hospital and Ty was living at Erica’s for now, taking care of Angie. She told him that that the doctor was so surprised that he had fainted considering he didn’t have a history of it. She told him a few details about the funeral before leaving.

Adil knew about Raf, he had also been in the hospital for more hours than he’d been at home, waiting for Erica to wake up. He chose not to think about Alex or funerals, he just wanted her to wake up. His mother was worried, she didn’t say it but it was obvious. Adil convinced her that he was fine, just worried about Erica. Just worried. Worry was good. Worrying kept him sane in a haphazard sort of way.

If he worried, that meant he wouldn’t think about the dead girl that used to be his best friend.

[desertslegacy]

where the heart may roam

inferniso

“Igrene, you looked sad... Reading my letter.”

Her gaze flickers at the other Arcadian, noticing but not comprehending the subtleness of her gesture. There were spouts in her eyes, and they were hidden by long lashes and the shields of her skin. If she was quicker to react, perhaps the dragon would have turned a head at them. But she speaks in retrospect, calling to question another oddity in the woman’s behavior: Idunn doesn’t understand why she received praise for her writing. If it was the kind of letter that would nearly make Igrene cry, why would she call it lovely...? If it overwhelmed her with such emotion, should she not have said something about it? Idunn doesn’t want to do anything bad--to upset anyone. She’s a giant treading over a field of ice: trying to be aware of her destructive form. And more importantly, what was her smile at the end? Sunshine and rainfall painting the same sky defy everything she knows about either. 

She has yet to see a sunshower; bittersweet is a foreign taste. 

Dragon nods a little, to herself. She thinks it might have to do with everyone missing her. Maybe the Guardian is part of that group. Maybe she’s sad because they’ve been apart for so long. If that’s the case, her chest tightens. There is something Idunn can do to make this better; there is room to more optimally follow her directive of forging peace between dragons and humans.

“I think the ball will be lots of fun,” she agrees, sounding off-beat with the monotone drag of her voice, “The humans here seem to enjoy it. There will be flowers and dancing... Maybe you can smile more.” 

Idunn collects her letter again, sealing it nice and tight as she returns it to her pouch. Whenever she finishes up for the day, she thinks she’ll finally send it off. There has been enough of an opportunity to add any final touches, yet even after Igrene’s reading of it she can’t think of anything more she’d like to say. 

“If you’d like, maybe we can go together.” Her smile stretches into her cheek as Idunn gives that idea some thought. Walking in with Igrene and maybe learning a dance with her would start the night off right. “We can invite Sofia. And Roy...” And little Fae too, but she isn’t here. Remembering her love for the world outside the village, Idunn tells herself that she ought to get help writing her a letter too-- maybe after the ball. She can send her some flowers, and perhaps a few words from Igrene.

That will come later. For now, they have a festivity to plan for.

"Hm?" Igrene stiffens a bit. She had hoped that it had been less noticeable, banking perhaps on Idunn's naivety when it came to subtleties in emotion – but at the thought, she feels a bit of shame. Idunn had been learning, growing so much, she should not have underestimated her attention to detail. 

"I'm not sad," she says first, then, realizing that it perhaps best not to treat Idunn like a child, she adds, hesitant, "It is a lovely letter, and it is very touching. The emotion it made me feel is complicated – but it didn't make me sad." 

How could she describe it? The sharp edge of grief that came with deep wells of love, when Idunn had perhaps not even encountered the bliss that came beforehand. The phantom pain of longing for something lost that echoes in the shadow of something else. 

Idunn is not her daughter – is not her father, nor her husband, for that matter – but she is dragon, and she is a part of Arcadia, and she is in need of someone who loves her fiercely as family does. 

Idunn seems content to change the subject, however, and at the pointed comment, Igrene starts again, then laughs. Reaching forward, she gently snakes an arm around Idunn's shoulders and tugs her close for a brief hug. 

"You don't need to worry about my smiles, Idunn – but if we go together, perhaps we can both find many things to smile for, hm? And Sophia, and Roy, and whoever else is here," she adds, releasing her grip, "we'll have enough joy to spread, I think. I will have to find a dress - " a soft tweak to Idunn's nose, "if I can hope to match how beautiful you're going to be." 

[galacticwildfire]

found.

Twenty One

Pairing: Kenobi!oc x Din Djarin

Summary: Satine and Obi-wan’s daughter fought in the war against the Empire and lost her faith when she lost Mandalore. Until she found him. A lone Mandalorian searching for a Jedi.

Warnings: references to ptsd and torture, Jedi Temple and order 66, rough penetrative sex with affirmative consent, aftercare and fluff, angst, protective mama, yoda getting cussed out, temple sex

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: next chapter they see ahsoka and it will continue on with the plotline from mando season 2

~

~

~

Din and I sit side by side in the cockpit of my ship as we leave for Coruscant. With my finger tapping on my thigh my mind is anywhere but there with him.

Coruscant.

The Jedi Temple.

"Kyra?" Din asks, noticing my distance. "What is it?"

 "I've never been there before," I admit to him.

"Coruscant?"

I shake my head. "The temple. I was part of the force that liberated the planet, but I could never bring myself to step inside the Jedi temple."

"Why?" he asks, genuinely confused, and wanting to understand.

Why. That is the question I have never answered. A question he has rarely asked. And yet as we approach the temple I feel myself placed into a confessional.

I look down at my hands. "When you met me Din, I didn't claim to be a Jedi anymore. The moment the war ended I put down my saber for good and swore that it was for the best. Have I told you why?"

"Parts," he answers, remembering when the child choked me. "Things about the dark side of the force."

"My father, I adored him completely but his entire life he lived with guilt," I remember sadly. "You can't breathe a word of what I'm about to tell you to anyone."

"I swear it," he says and I trust him completely.

"His padawan was Anakin Skywalker, Luke and Leia's father," I tell him. "He killed everyone in that temple as he turned to the darkside and became Darth Vader." He knows what he did to me, so I don't elaborate on that part. "You see, the things he did, before he knew Luke was his son he wanted an apprentice. He wanted to get his revenge on my father by converting me to the empire and making me his apprentice. Little did he know I was training his own son, it wouldn't be until the end of the war we learned Leia was his sister." I clear my throat, not needing to get into that. "The point is, Vader tried until the end to bring Luke and I to his side, and by the end of the war I think I was closer to losing it than I could ever admit to anyone."

"But you didn't," he says, reminding me of my strength. "You fought against him and you won."

"There was a very brief moment I considered abandoning all of it because of that darkness," I confide in him, remembering that very last night with Boba before he was supposedly killed. "A moment where I nearly betrayed my own family to run away from everything and it disgusted me enough I swore I would never let myself feel that darkness again, even if it meant shutting myself off from the force like my father did after the Empire rose."

"But you changed your mind when the the kid and I found you," he says and squeezes my hand. "You trained Skywalker and now you're training the child."

"I am," I say, glad for his reassurance. "But there was a time I felt like I wasn't worthy of calling myself a Jedi, and that's why despite all this time I've never been to the temple because I know the darkness that waits for me there. An order that I'm one of the last survivors of and yet I go against the code they swore their lives to."

His voice is deep. "I am still learning what it means to be a Jedi, what your creed means, and it seems as though it's black and white, good and evil, light and dark. A lot of things, a creed of ancient wizards with lazer swords." That comment makes me laugh. "But I think it might be the only creed in the galaxy where love is frowned upon. In the Mandalorian creed - it is everything."

"I know," I say, knowing the ironies well. "Which is why this was so hard for so long, trying to seperate the Jedi order from the force, trying to remember that they aren't one and the same. I was so good at it until Vader got into my head and scrambled everything up." I bite down hard on my lip but say the words anyway. "Vader killed billions, men, women, children, without regret or hesitation. He choked his pregnant wife to near death, he killed Luke's family, Leia's family, my family, destroyed her planet, destroyed mine, tortured me until I was a shell of who I was. Yet Luke forgave him." He's quiet as he sees the pain that crosses me face. "I think that was the moment I decided that I'd failed as a master. The moment I realised I'd forged Luke to be exactly what the Jedi Order would have dreamed of. The Jedi Master to fulfil their prophecy. I love him I do, but even now I know he questions my decision to train our child as a Jedi and raise him as a Mandalorian. Even though it is how I was raised. He is a brilliant Jedi, trained to perfection I cannot deny that, yet in that moment I decided that I'd failed because he chose forgiveness over hate, something I could not do."

"And why should you?" he asks, almost bewildered. "Why should you forgive the man who destroyed planets, destroyed you? All so you don't feel hate or anger? I swear, the more you tell me about the Jedi the less sense they make to me."

I laugh almost tearfully and he removes his glove to take my hand in his properly, his skin touching my own. "I swear Din Djarin, you are the only thing keeping my head where it needs to be. My anchor in all this ideological mess."

"And what about me?" he asks and I tilt my head. "The moment I met you, you destroyed what I'd believed my entire life, everything the creed taught me." There isn't anger in his voice, nothing of the sort, but gratitude. "Yet you accepted it, and guided me through it. Now the thought of ever returning to my clan - of returning to that belief - I can't even think of it."

"Well," I smile emotionally. "It seems we've both changed each others lives far more than we ever intended. And by changed I mean completely took it, took everything we believed and broke it and put it back together in an entirely new light. All for our son."

"Our son," he repeats, holding my hand tight. "You have no idea what hearing that does to me."

"You and our son are my second chance at life Din Djarin," I swear. "And I love you both with everything I have."

"And we love you," he swears in Mandalorian. "All of you."

I smile and kiss his helmet, resting my forehead against his, feeling his bare hand caressing my cheek. The touch of his skin electrifying me in a way no other ever has. Feeling his gaze burning through his helmet as I move a hand down his chest.

"How long left until we enter the system?" Din asks, his voice deep as my fingers play with his.

"Well if we don't jump to hyperspace an hour," I answer, my breath heavy and imagine how it would look against his helmets visor and tell him "I remember the first time you ever made me feel weak, when you were threatening Cobb Vanth in that cantina." 

His demeanor immediately changes and he taunts "Yeah?"

"When you told him to take it off or you would," I say bringing my hand to the shoulder of my dress and letting it slip down. "You know, I really wanted to fuck you after we killed that dragon." His restraint only makes me squirm. "It's cruel to have made myself wait so long."

"It is."

In a single movement he has me straddling his lap, hands firm on my waist and I gasp at his hardness pressing against me. "Din!"

"Say it again," he orders and pushes my hips down into him as I'm momentarily stunned. "Say my name again."

"Din," I sigh and feel him harden even more. "Fuck."

"Tell me what you want," he says, his modulated voice sending pulses through me as I grind down onto him and I feel his thumb beneath the band of my panties.

"I want you to fuck me," I say, blushing at the words leaving my mouth, gasping at how my clit grinds against the rough fabric. "Right here, right now."

I cry out as he lifts me up and almost tosses me on the control board, animalistic in the way he pulls my dress up and pushes himself between my legs, my panties discarded of on the floor as I pull his cock out of his pants.

I asked to be fucked, and I'm going to get it.

"Please," I breathe, not wanting him to second guess himself, and my back lifts off the board as he sheathes himself inside of me in one motion, my hands reaching back for anything to grab hold of and his hands grab mine, holding them down as he puts more of his weight on me and thrusts hard. It tears a soundless scream from my throat, the sheer size of him, more than perfect, almost too much and I fucking love it.

The next scream is less soundless as he picks up a hard and fast pace, absolutely brutal, fucking any of the worries I had well out of my mind. 

"Din!" I cry out and the sound he makes at his name almost sends me over the edge and I smirk as I breath "Ner cyare." His breath turns into shaking gasps as he pounds into me, completely losing himself as I quake. "Ner karta."

He makes the most erotic sound I've ever heard in my life as he fills me and I'm trembling beneath him, so much he needs to let go of my hand to hold my shaking legs up as I recover from my own release, the best I've ever had and truly curse myself for waiting this long to have him like this.

Even with the birth control chip implanted in me, I wrap my leg around him to keep him and his release inside of me, a primal urge I've never felt before and in my dreamlike state I reach up to stroke his beskar cheek in adoration. Staying inside of me he lifts me up with gentle arms and brings us back to the seat, straddling him with my head resting against his.

Smiling.

"Wow," he breathes as I pepper his hand with kisses. "That was- you are-"

I'm giggling as I wrap my arms around him and kiss his helmet.

"The happiest woman in the galaxy?"

"Shut up," he laughs sheepishly. 

"Or what?" I tease. "You'll bend me over the controls next time instead of fucking me on them?"

"Don't tempt me."

~

We stand before the Jedi Temple.

"So this is it?" He asks and I nod. "It's bigger than I thought it'd be."

Even in moments as nervewracking as this he never fails to bring some humour to them.

"I thought the same thing when I first saw it."

"Are there other Jedi here?" he asks innocently and my stomach falls. "Kyra?"

"Once there was," I answer. "Now all that are left are ghosts."

I step forward and go to approach it's steps when I'm stopped by coruscant guards.

"Miss, no unauthorised visitors are allowed in the temple."

"Do you know who I am?" I ask them and they share an anxious look.

"General Kenobi, you do not have authorisation-"

The guards jump back as I draw my saber and ignite it with their hands on their blasters, unsure of what action to take.

"Is that authorisation enough?' I ask as Din stands behind me, and they sure don't stop me as I ascend the steps my father once walked.

But that's the easy part.

The hard part is coming to the entrance of the temple and feeling the darkness within, feeling the death that took place here.

Din notices me hesitate.

"We don't have to go in," he says, trying to be understanding but I shake my head, knowing I need to stop running, stop hiding.

So I face my fears head on as I enter the temple with my eyes closed, hearing the footsteps of the army that stormed this temple years ago. 

In my mind I see it's grandeur, yet my eyes open to ruins. 

Even Din must feel the darkness here as he asks "You said the Jedi here were killed?"

"Order 66," I answer. "Palpatine ordered the clones to turn on the Jedi. They stormed this temple in the night, a temple filled with students and children with most masters being stationed in warzones across the galaxy. And they massacred them."

"Do you think the Child was here?" he asks and I nod, having felt the Childs trauma. "How did he escape?"

An answer I wish I had. "Whoever saved him is likely long dead now considering where the Child ended up."

He stays close as we venture through the temple to the library where the archives are located. They were too valuable an asset for Vader to destroy and have been slowly restored by scholars.

"The Empire's Inquisitors used these archives as a checklist to hunt off the remaining Jedi," I swallow, opening up the file to the hundreds of deceased Jedi marked off like trophies. "Hunted down and slaughtered. The worst part was the inquisitors were often Jedi who turned on their own kind."

The idea disgusts him as a Mandalorian, someone of their own creed turning on them. "Why?"

"The darkside is a twisted thing," I tell him. "I was ten when the inquisitors found me while they were hunting my father. Reva, the third sister, she was a Jedi who survived order 66 and yet she had no problems capturing an innocent child. It was how I met Leia, they'd taken her as well as collateral to ensure my father would show in case I wasn't in fact his daughter. She was about to have Leia and I tortured before my father found us."

 I open a certain section of the files and stop when I see my fathers face, recognising the specific holophoto because it was the one projected when we were being hunted. The first time in so long I've seen it, the first time in so long I've seen him so young. 

My shaking hand dares to open his file. 

"Obi-wan Kenobi," Din reads and realises. "Your father."

"It was only a day after my mother died at Vaders hands that he came to rescue Leia and I from capture once again, this time with Luke, Han and Chewy," I remember quietly. "He let Vader strike him down, for years I asked myself why, why he didn't fight harder but he knew what he was doing. He saw Luke, Leia and I together and knew we would take care of one another. He knew his time was up. Even in death he was stronger than Vader could ever be." I smile to myself, knowing his spirit is very much still with me. "He saved your life that night on Tatooine, I heard his voice speak to me, to the child. This is what he wants for me, he knows this is my path."

"If he was a Jedi who believed in their creed, then how come he was able to raise you to be both a Mandalorian and a Jedi?" he asks, trying to reconcile the two as I so often do. "When you struggle so much with it?"

My fathers memory eases me. "He was one of the greatest jedi who ever lived because he was able to love without being tempted by the darkside. He found his own truth in the Jedi Order just as his own master Qui Gon Jinn did. When my father met my mother he was a young padawan assigned to protect a duchess and well, he would have left the order for her if she gave the word. He loved her his entire life yet never let it interfere with his connection to the force and when I was born, it only strengthened. It is his training, his parenting, that I need to connect with now more than ever to raise a Mandalorian foundling and train him in the force." I look at Din with a smile. "To love a Mandalorian."

"Would he have any advice for loving and raising a Jedi?" Din asks and I chuckle.

"My mother would," I say with a smile. "If you could have met her she'd tell you that we carry more ideological baggage than a freight ship and will never fail to keep surprising you with all the strange things we can do."

"Like what?" he asks and with the force so strong I channel it and cast a glimmering force shield. "What-" He reaches out to touch it and finds himself unable to penetrate it. "How?"

"Like I said, the force is a strange and incredible thing," I say proudly. "Force barriers are something I quickly sought to master when I entered the battle field."

"Is that something you can teach the child?" he asks, his tactical mind knowing just how much of a strength it would be.

"Oh it will be among the first things I teach him," I assure him. "But first, I need to find out exactly who he was."

I return to the archives and search for living Jedi, there are several who were never found, beside Ahsoka's picture I see the child. 

"Here," I say and open his file my eyes falling on one word in particular. "Grogu."

"Grogu?" he questions.

"That's his name," I say and look back at him with a smile. "Grogu."

"Grogu," he repeats as I look at his basic information and it's then that my smile fades.

Biological parents: Master Yoda and Master Yaddle. Procreation permitted for survival of species.

I huff a humourless laugh and Din stands back. "Kyra?"

It's then blaster lazers fill my vision and I am no longer myself, but the child, watching Jedi fight to the death as clones close in, until each Jedi has fallen.

All while Yoda escaped to Dagobah.

A fury unlike any I've ever known consumes me and I order Din. 

"Stay here."

And for the first time since order 66 the temple is stormed.

I ascend up the stairs, the force guiding me through the temple with Din no doubt trying to follow me without my notice. I don't need my saber in hand, not when the force is my weapon. 

It brings me to a strange room in I find Yoda's ghost there, meditating.

"Warned you long ago I did," he says with his intolerable righteousness. "Little heed you took I see."

My burning blood ignores his words. "The child, he's yours."

"Flesh and blood yes," he admits. "Mine he is not."

My voice is filled with heat. "You abandoned him!"

"Forbidden attachment is, sired I did, but all that was."

"He is your child!" I repeat, my voice having never been so hostile in my long life. "And you left him to Vader and the 501st!"

"No," he denies, and I wonder if he ever felt any guilt, if he felt anything at all but self pity. "Foundling he is now. Take as your padawan you may, but take as your child you may not."

"Try to stop me," I challenge. "But you can't, can you because you're dead!"

"The Jedi way, it is not," he lectures with little care.

"If the way of the Jedi is to abandon your own child and leave him in the hands of the Empire then damn the Jedi Order!" I cry out, after all these years finally knowing where I stand. "My father died to save me from them while you hid. That is the difference between him and you. You are a coward and you failed your child. But I won't. That child has a father who would die for him, and unlike the other Jedi I would die before I stole a child from their parent, before I left them to die!"

I feel Din standing in the doorway, and Yoda looks between us.

"Warned you I did, warned your father I did," he reveals. "Yet the fathers curse, the child also carries. Myself it began with, to Dooku, to Qui-Gon Jinn, to your father, to yourself, and this child it shall finish with."

In my fury I finally see clearly. "It will, and yet I am what stood between the Empire you hid in fear of and the extinction of the Jedi. My temptation was because you and the rest of the Jedi were too weak to love. The only thing in my life I will ever agree on with Vader is that the order led itself to its destruction. It was not my father who failed him, it was you. You were so far into the light you could never face the darkness, and so you ran from it."

As I once did, but no more.

"Well I've faced it and lived with it, so that makes me a greater Jedi than you ever were, and makes my father a greater Jedi than any of us. If my fathers curse is raising a child to love whilst mastering the force then you can be damn sure it won't end with me. Grogu is my son, and I will marry this Mandalorian man and raise this child without fear because the force is with me, it has always been with me even if I lost my way."

Yoda knows my heart and will is steadfast, it amuses him.

"Your way have you now found?"

"I have," I realise. "I found it through love, and I can promise you that the Order will die with you, but the Jedi will live. The force lives within us and we will harness it. The good and the bad. The light and the dark, instead of hiding in fear of it. We will have true balance."

Yoda almost looks proud. 

"Pray I do, that at last one of us can find it."

And with that he disappears and the room falls cold.

I feel Din's hand on my waist as I breathe in, for the first time in years truly feeling the force, feeling its presence so strongly it brings tears to my eyes.

"Kyra?"

I look at him, finally seeing everything through a new light. "Let's return home to our son, and seek Ahsoka Tano."

"The archives?"

"I can see now more than the archives could ever tell me," I say and decide. "I want to go to Grogu, to see what he has seen."

While he does not understand, he accepts this.

But first I take his hands and let my dress fall to the ground for the sacred ritual, and take my lover in the temple, damning the order, damning it all to hell.

For damnation has never felt so pure when it is with him.

My lover. My home.

Mine, as I am his.

[the-bau-quinjet]

I've Always Loved the Rain

Summary: Request! Y/N can manipulate the weather, but sometimes her emotions get the best of her. What happens when Bucky brings his girlfriend to Tony's garden party?

Warnings: nothing except some angst!

Word Count: 2086

a/n: I really did have fun writing this! Thank you for sending it my way :)

Masterlist

"Are you ever going to tell him?" Wanda's thoughts appeared in your head causing your head to snap in her direction. "You've been staring at him for the past ten minutes."

"Actually, it's only been 8 minutes. And, no. I do not plan to ever tell him because that would be wildly embarrassing, and he would hate me forever." Your own thoughts were easily heard by the witch.

Before she could try to convince you, you got up and left the living room. You and Bucky have been friends since you joined the team. Everyone, barring Bucky, has told you how you must be special because Bucky has never trusted anyone as quickly as he started trusting you.

There may have even been a point where you thought he could've possibly returned your feelings, but that was before he started dating Perrie.

"Y/N, you can't keep running away from me." Wanda called out as she approached your room.

"I'm not running. I just have get ready for Tony's party." You rolled your eyes. You've never been one for parties, but you'd rather just go than have to deal with Tony complaining about you missing it.

"Oh, you mean the party Perrie is going to?" Wanda questioned from your doorway.

"Shut up! Someone could hear you." You quickly pulled her into the room, glancing down the hall before closing the door. "I don't care that she's coming. It's fine."

"I know you're pouting, even if you refuse to look at me." Wanda obviously saw right through your bullshit.

"Wan, he's my friend. I just want him to be happy, and if Perrie makes him happy then so be it." You resigned yourself to having to watch Bucky and Perrie together. "Just, promise me you won't say anything."

You nearly begged her, knowing she didn't agree with your method of bottling everything up.

"You're my friend. I want you to be happy too." She tried to avoid your request.

"Wanda, please." You nearly had tears in your eyes. You couldn't make it through this party if Bucky knew about your feelings. "I can't think about it. Tony will kill me if I ruin his perfect weather."

You joined the Avengers after Steve and Nat found you during one of their missions. You saw the two of them trying to sneak into a hydra base, but they had no way of approaching without being spotted.

In a moment of bravery, or stupidity really it could've gone either way, you ran up to them and offered to help. You managed to create enough of a storm that they could get inside without being noticed.

When they came back out, they offered for you to join them figuring someone who could manipulate the weather would be a good teammate to have.

"Oh, Y/N." She pulled you into a hug in an effort to comfort you. "I won't bring it up, I promise." She squeezed you tightly before letting go. "Now, let's pick out an outfit that'll have Barnes regretting not asking you out."

You shook your head at her playful laugh, but agreed with her nonetheless. If this is what it took for her to stay quiet, you'd do it.

-

The sun was still high in the sky when you made it out to join the party. Summer nights always seemed to last forever, the sun not fully setting until nearly 9.

A few clouds dusted the sky, but Tony really did have the perfect weather for his garden party.

You looked around, trying to locate a familiar face. Finally spotting Nat and Wanda, you made your way through the gardens to greet them.

"Y/N, you look incredible!" Nat cheered as you approached.

Wanda convinced you to wear a pale purple two piece set. The classy lace outer layer of your skirt fell to mid calf, the lining ending just above your knee. The top was cropped to end mid stomach. Perfectly matching the skirt, a form fitting lining was covered in a flowy lace layer.

"Thank you. You both look amazing, as usual." Nat wore a black midi dress with a slit. Wanda opted for a flowery yellow dress with buttons up the middle.

You fell into an easy conversation, discussing anything and everything you could think of to keep your mind busy.

"Ladies, looking good!" Sam complimented the three of you as he, Steve, and Vision approached. Vision immediately swept Wanda away to dance.

"You're not so bad yourself, Wilson." You laughed. "Steve, you're very dapper this evening."

"Thank you. Care to dance?" Steve held his hand out for you. Knowing Sam was seconds away from convincing Nat to dance with him, you nodded in agreement.

You couldn't help but smile as he lead you around the dance floor Tony had set up. The party had been going surprisingly well so far.

"You really do look amazing tonight." Steve broke the silence, smiling down at you.

"You're too sweet." You brushed it off, looking over his shoulder as you blushed.

"I mean it." He spun you around, eliciting a surprised chuckle from you.

Your smile fell when you spotted Bucky and Perrie by the bar. He wore khakis and a pink button up, something you were certain Perrie picked out to match her pink chiffon dress.

You were shocked to find his eyes on you. He looked sort of angry, but you hadn't the slightest idea why.

"I don't know what Bucky's doing with her." Steve followed your line of sight, commenting on the couple.

"He's happy." You turned away from Bucky, heart aching just from looking at the two of them together. You tried to mask the pain in your voice, but Steve saw through it.

"He's not. He might think he is, but Perrie... she's not right for him."

"What do you mean?" You shouldn't have asked, but you craved more information about Bucky.

"She just doesn't understand him. Not like you do." Steve's words hurt you more than they helped.

"Steve, he chose her." You could feel the tears brewing. You didn't notice as the sky got darker and darker. "I have to go."

You turned to walk away from Steve and the conversation only to walk directly into Perrie.

"I'm so sorry!' You quickly wiped your eyes, avoiding the concerned look Bucky was giving you. He lightly grabbed your elbow when you tried to walk past them

"Y/N?" The way he said your name had you frozen. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I, um, I have to go." You pulled your arm from his grasp, again trying to get away.

"No, Y/N-" Bucky's plea for you to talk to him was cut off by Perrie.

"James, we're supposed to be dancing." She whined, pulling on his right arm.

"It's fine, Bucky." Your face contorted into a tight smile. "Dance with your girlfriend." Your vision blurred as you tried to push your way through the crowd.

Nat found you first, pulling you off to the side of the party and gesturing for Wanda to join you both.

"Y/N, what happened?" Natasha tried to coax any bit of information out of you. You ignored the question, focusing instead on trying to control your tears.

Your powers, although you could mostly control them, were tied to your emotions. If what you were feeling manifested itself in the weather, it was almost impossible for you to regain control.

One tear finally fell from your eyes, a matching raindrop falling from the sky.

"Y/N? Why don't we go inside?" You managed a nod, breaths coming out shaky as you tried not to completely lose control.

You were only a few steps from the main entrance to the gardens when everything fell apart.

"Y/N?" Bucky called from a few feet behind you.

Just the sound of his voice caused the delicate balance you had achieved to shatter.

Your tears overflowed, thunder cracking in the sky. The thought of ruining Tony's part only made you cry harder.

The rain fell fast and heavy instantly soaking everyone outside. You stayed frozen, listening as everyone shrieked and ran to get out of the rain.

"You guys should go inside." You spoke softly to Nat and Wanda, gesturing for them to go without you.

"Are you sure?" Nat looked past you at Bucky before meeting your eyes again.

You nodded. "I mean, I'm already soaked." The rain continued to fall mixing with the tears on your cheeks.

They each gave you a quick hug before running to get inside.

"Y/N?" Bucky called again when you still hadn't turned around.

You took a deep breath trying to prepare for this conversation before you turned to face him. He was soaked, his hair sticking to his face despite his efforts to push it off.

"I'm sorry." You whispered so softly, you weren't even sure he could hear it over the rain.

"Don't do that." Bucky shook his head.

"What?" You scrunched your face in confusion.

"Apologize for your feelings." He spoke gently as he walked up to you.

You huffed a laugh. "Well, I was more so apologizing for the rain."

"I've always loved the rain." He shrugged, turning his head up to the sky. He stayed like that for a minute just letting the rain wash over him.

"I think I've always loved you." More tears fell as you admitted the truth. You closed your eyes in an effort to hide from his reaction.

"Y/N, look at me." Bucky pleaded, but you squeezed your eyes shut tighter and shook your head.

"Y/N, please." His hand came up to rest on your cheek, the other resting on your waist. He ran his thumb back and forth over your cheek coaxing you to open your eyes.

Your eyes fluttered open despite your best efforts to keep them closed. You had to blink a few times to clear the raindrops from your eyelashes.

"I love you too."

You searched his eyes for any signs that he was lying, but all you could find was sincerity.

"What about Perrie?" You couldn't help but ask, even if you'd rather forget about her entirely.

"I broke up with her the second she whined about me trying to make sure you were okay."

"You broke up with her because of me?" Your mouth fell open, eyes trained on Bucky's. He nodded sheepishly, but maintained eye contact.

"You're the most important person in the world to me. I probably should've realized what that meant sooner." He looked down, a pink tint blossoming on his cheeks. "She was actually the one who pointed out to me that I'm in love with you..."

"She said that?" Your jaw dropped even farther.

"Yeah. It was really Steve agreeing with her that clued me in though."

"You really love me?" You felt the need to verify what you had already heard. The rain lessening to a slight drizzle went unnoticed by both of you.

"I really, really do." He still held your face in his hand, now leaning his forehead against your own.

"Say it again." You whispered.

"I love you." He said the words quietly, but the meaning behind them was deafening.

"I love you too."

Your lips collided in a passionate kiss, years of hidden emotion coming out.

The rain clouds disappeared entirely, the sun set now visible in bright shades of pink and orange.

You finally pulled back when the need for air overcame your need for Bucky.

Your smile faded slightly, eyes showing a slight fear. Bucky noticed immediately, his own nerves growing.

"What's wrong?"

You gestured to the now empty gardens.

Aside from everything being soaked, the wind did a number on the decorations. Tables and chairs were overturned, plates and glasses smashed on the ground. The lanterns that had been hung were now strew across the ground in various states of destruction.

"Tony's going to be so mad at me!"

"He'll forgive you." Bucky stated with confidence.

"How can you be so sure?" You eyed him with furrowed brows, still nervous about facing Tony.

"He's forgiven worse, Doll. Trust me." Bucky eagerly awaited the moment you understood what he was saying.

Your eyes went wide, mind blanking on how to respond. That is, until Bucky smiled brightly at you.

"You've always told me joking about it can help. Figured I'd give it a try."

The two of you burst out laughing before slowly making your way inside, hand in hand and soaking wet.

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @madewithsebstan

[fckwritersblock]

Protection Forever - William Lennox

Lennox x Reader

Description: Running into an old flame at the worst possible time.

Warning: nah. Bad writing? Kinda. Unedited because I was excited. I’ll not when it’s been fixed. Somethings may not be fully aligned with the movie but I tried 😩

Word count: 2500+

Dedicated to @merakiaes hey fren!

All gifs from @meragifs too!

You were an EMT.

The two of you pulled up to meet with the other Autobots, you exiting the vehicle before he transformed. You were in awe as he and the rest of the cars all changed.

The biggest one, their leader, gave a rundown of everything that was happening once he confirmed Sam’s identity. This was just a recap for you as Ratchet had already explained. The teenage boy just stood there stuttering not really knowing how to process everything and you frowned again. That was when you really took notice of two teens just standing there. Having known what was expected of Sam Witwicky you frowned slightly.

“I don’t know about this Ratchet, he’s just kid.” You commented to the alien you had formed a quick bond with.

“And who might you be?” The one called Optimus inquired.

You gave him your name before the other yellow autobot, who you’d later learned was Bumble Bee, uttered something through his radio. It was hard for you to hear but the other robots seemed to be use to it as Ratchet responded immediately.

“The human. I like her.” Ratchet sounding irritated.

Bumblebee made another comment and right before Ratchet could respond one of the others chimed in.

“Wait why do they get humans?” Jazz asked incredulously. “I want one too!”

“Enough! Humans are not pets.” The one call Optimus Prime stated sternly, clearly tired of their bickering. You held your laugh, highly amused.

They were like siblings. A family.

“Exactly I’m just here to help and be a better tour guide than these kids can be.” You confirmed practically forcing your services on them. “Besides they need adult supervision. From the looks of it, you all do.” You grinned at everyone around you. Optimus gave a nod, agreeing.

“She stays. Let’s move.”

In that short amount of time things moved rather quickly. You watched the Autobots accidentally destroy Sam’s backyard when attempting to retrieve the glasses, you were all arrested, you escaped thanks to the Autobots, only to be arrested again.

Fail.

Finally you ended it some secret base. How get you weren’t alone. The government had apparently been on a roll with kidnapping civilians who “knew too much “.

Things weren’t going great but quickly went left when the Decepticons, the Autobot rivals, came to retrieve Megatron.

A war from another planet had officially made Earth its battleground.

You were nervous, trying to figure out how to calm everything down before things started to escalate. Nobody was going to get anywhere with all the bickering. That’s when you saw him.

It had been what? Two years?

Still, without even knowing it, without even knowing you were present, he was still able to make your heart be slow and fast at the same time. The army had aged him, but for the better making him all the more attractive but you couldn’t focus on that right now. Especially when you heard:

“The cryogenic system is failing! We're losing NBE One!”

All the soldiers begin to pack everything that they could to prepare in a fight the way they always did. It was an mirable the way Linux game orders in his men took them without a second thought. The trust there.

“That’s good. Get all the ammo you got.”

“Everything you can carry. Bring it.”

Tearing your eyes away from your former lover you grab Sam.

“Come on, we need Bee.” You reminded him, nodding in Simmons direction

“You got to take me to my car.” Sam said, then repeated when he was ignored. “You have to take me to my car. He’s gonna know what to do with the Cube.”

“Your car? It's confiscated.”

“Then unconfiscate it.” You stared blankly.

“We do not know what will happen if we let it near this thing! -“

“You don't know.”

“Maybe you know, but I don't know.”

You rolled your eyes at the insufferable mans rambling.

This was really was more about ego who was in control more than anything. The guy running the ship, clearly was on a power trip. Unfortunately for him he was facing off against soldiers . The Captain who’s eyes you could feel staring at the side of your face.

A Captain and his soldiers. Ones that really dont like to lose and take serving their country seriously.

The guy who arrested you earlier continue to argue with Sam about getting him back to bumblebee when Lennox finally pulled out his gun sick of the back-and-forth.

“Take him to his car!”

As soon as he did so all hell broke loose and everyone from both parties pulled out a weapon.

“Drop it!”

It wasn’t until One of the sector seven agents pointed a gun at the back of Will’s head that you disable to another agent and took his gun and pointed it directly and held it directly at the one pointing the gun at your ex.

“I really wouldn’t.” You warned.

You were no soldier, but Will have taught you plenty before you broke up. So did your brother, before he passed away. He actually served alongside Will but died in combat. Biking. That’s part of why you were so hurt when Will re-enlisted. When he got promoted to Captain and chose the army over you. You were terrified of losing him the way you lost your brother. The break up wasn’t that messy but you both said things you didn’t mean. In attempts to mask your own pain and hurt one another.

You know. Hurt people, hurt people.

It’s still came to no surprise that you put a bullet in someone to protect him. Together or not you’d never let anything happen to him.

“I'm ordering you under S-Seven executive jurisdiction-“ Simmons ranted.

“S-Seven don't exist.” You interjected, earning a quick appreciative glance from Will.

“Right. And we don’t take orders from people that don’t exist.”

“I’m gonna count to 5. Okay-“ Simmons attempted to threat yet again.

“Well, I’m gonna count to three.” Will deadpanned.

You knew that look. God did you know that look and it was so wrong that you were so turned on.

Finally the Secretary of defense interfered telling Simmons to do what was being asked of him. Everyone relaxed slight, weapons lowering.

“Y/n,”

“Captain.”

The Captain and couldn’t help but watch you how do you get up and prepare to go.

“So that’s her huh?” Epps commented as Will watched you run off with Sam.

“Yeah..” Will answered, mind racing.

While he knew he’d eventually see you again, he didn’t think it would be like this. You looked breath taking.

“Damn. Shorty had your back that entire time.”

“Gear up,”

“What I’m just saying I thought she was gonna put a cap in his.” Epps shouted after his Captain receiving no response.

Will knew you had his back, you always would, the same way he would always have yours. He thought of you often, the break up between two inescapable, never feeling like he did the right thing. You were always not too far from the front of his mind. Him wondering how you were doing. If you were happy. If you found somebody else. There was no doubt he regretted what had transpired between the two of you. It was his fault. He knew that. You knew that. He had ample opportunity to fight for you and he didn’t. When he was promoted Captain he felt he had to choose between you and the army. He didn’t choose you the way he should’ve. In reality he could’ve had both. However hr so caught up proven himself to his deadbeat dad that he possibly let the best thing that ever happened to him go.

Not to mention trying to atone for your brothers death. It wasn’t his fault, but he still couldn’t shake it. So without talking to you he reenlisted. Needless to say where that got him.

Now hear the both of you were in the middle of an alien war. Yeah. This is the last place he thought he’d see you.

You were numb. The battle on the highway enough to freak you out. For mommy, just a moment you thought this might be a dream but no. This is all very real. One minute you guys were just entering the city trying to lay low, next thing you know - BOOM! The explosion knocked all of you over, injuring some, killing a few. Bumblebee’s legs were partially blown off.

Getting up off the pavement you waited for the ringing in your ear to subside as you stood up, trying to study yourself when you felt a pair of arms hold you still.

You knew it was Will just by the way he touched you, you blinked hard trying not to go down memory lane.

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice was enough to make your heart skip a bear.

“Yeah,” you nodded slowly. “Yeah I’m fine.”

Slowly you removed yourself from his grip and went to check on Sam and Mikaela. Ratchet on the other hand -

“Hmm. His pheromone levels are-“ you quickly turned on him and glared.

“Ratchet I’ll turn you into a can opener if you don’t shut the hell up.”

The robot nearly held his hands up in the surrendering position as he followed you. Will had arranged an aircraft to pick up Sam and the cube while everyone else defended themselves against the deceptive cons in a hurry to get the cube far far away before Megatron arrived. Sam was in a panic and so Michaela, you could see Will’s short fuse getting ready to exploded. It was then you decided to be an escort.

“Sam, you can’t do this alone.” Michaela fussed.

“He won’t be alone.” You commented, causing all parties involved to look at you.

“I’m going with you.” You declared.

“No.” Will didn’t even hesitated as he stepped closer to you.

“Captain Lennox-“

“No!” You grabbed him by the front of his beer and pushed him back.

“Do you see what going on out there?!” You continued to hold on to him and you yelled at him over there chose. “We’re at a war. One we are extremely ill prepared for. So get your shit together! Sam is my responsibility. I have to get this kid to safety.”

This time your hands slid up the side of his face forcing him to look at you.

“Y/n..” he breathed out leaning down toward you, and for the first time during all this madness you could visibly see he was afraid.

“I’ll be back, Will.” You assured him, briefly resting your forehead against his.

Gathering himself he pulled away, looking toward Sam then back at you.

“Go. Go!”

And then we were running.. With nothing but an M16 strapped to your back and the pistol in your hand, you ran faster than you ever have before.

The four of you were under attack once more, you and Sam doing what you had to, to avoid getting snatched up as a fight Ironhide and Ratchet defended you. Unfortunately you were too close to one of the cars that went up in flames and you were thrown into another car from the blast.

“Y/n!” You could feel the blood on your forehead as you slowly pushed yourself up. As you tried to stand you immediately stopped feeling the pain in your thigh. Looking down could see the damage that had been done. The blood surrounding the afflicted area.

“Wha- what, what do i do?!” Sam asked frantically once he took notice of your injury.

“You gotta keep going Sam. I’ll be fine.”

He stood fo his feet, unsure of what to do. When Ironhide told him the same thing.

“Go!” You screamed once more.

Sam left and continued to run without you as you, as quickly as possible, as you tore your focus away from him to pull the shard of glass in your leg out. Ripping a piece of your shirt off you tightly tied it around your thigh in order to stop the bleeding. There was no point in going forward now but the return back to everyone else and help them fight.

You just had to avoid getting killed in the process.

You seen a car steering wheel, a Mountain Dew vending machine and and Xbox all turn into one of those freaky ass robots right before your eyes. All of which you helped others fight off. It was so surreal. In fact, if it wasn’t for the constant ringing in your ear from all the explosions you definitely think you were dreaming. You almost made it back to Lennox and his men when another Decepticon stood between between you and your destinations. They were definitely taking a beating. You saw Epps shooting a green laser indicating the robot that doubled as a helicopter wasn’t a friendly and decided to do what you could to keep the Decepticon from getting any closer to them and hurting any more civilians. In an attempt to draw it away from everyone else, you begin to fire your weapon giving it everything you had.

Unfortunately, the side effective taking its attention off the others meant putting the attention on you.

You ran trying to duck and dodge a bullets now directed your way.

But Will. Will’s heart dropped. Seeing you there defending yourself alone. His pause was brief, the air forces plan already in motion, before he started the motorcycle and was speeding in your direction.

“William!” You screamed for him fearfully as he drove straight toward the robot.

The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You almost couldn’t breathe, you don’t remember the last time you ever felt so scared in your life. But it wasn’t your life you feared for was it?

He rushed forward and slid under the robot continuing to firing the launcher. All you could do was watch as he drove toward you. Toward the danger your mind wondering if he did that on a regular basis. Was this the life of a soldier? What he went through day after day when he was deployed?

Standing up he only spared the parts of the dismembered robot a glance before shouting and turning looking for you. In a matter of seconds he was standing directly in front of you and pulling you into his arms.

Relief.

There was nothing like physically being about to touch someone, hold someone to really know they were okay.

“So…” you began, suddenly feeling nervous. “...That was hot-“

Before you were able to get another word in, he captured your lips with his kissing you roughly and bringing you closer, hands on the small of your back. You couldn’t help it kiss him back just as fiercely put in every emotion you had into that kiss.

Every ounce of passion he had in body, put into this kiss, your lips just as soft, kiss just as pure as he remembered. When you kissed, he knew he was a goner and could never let you go again.

It has been two years since the last time you guys have been this close. This intimate. Reconnected. The feeling it gave you, the indescribable feeling, was one neither one of you ever wanted to forgo again. Pulling back slowly, you both had smiles on your faces, Will pulling you closer to plant a kiss on your forehead.

“Excuse me,” Epps interrupted.

The both of you turning your attention on him.

“As cute as this shit is it’s highly inappropriate in the middle of the battle. I’m just saying we are trying to stay alive and shit.”

———————————————

Oh my fu- I don’t even know what this isssss

Couldn’t tell you what my original ideas was or nothing. I believed this was going to short-

I enjoyed writing it though! Shoutout again to @merakiaes for being on this lennox train with me lol

I’m just....I’m just gonna leave this mess here.

Bye

- Mo

—————————-

Tags: @merakiaes @lilythemadqueen

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Undiagnosed Autism-spectrum disorder in The Michells Vs The Machines

I'm sure that more well educated people have put two and two together in this film but I really, really want to put my own spin on it from my experience. For me, as an aspie, film is one of my biggest interests. I love studying and more than anything I love watching and rewatching films. My latest favorite movie was one that I just watched last night for my family movie night, The Michells Vs The Machines. I also went 17 years of my life asking myself the same question that both Rick and his daughter ask each other, what is wrong with him/her?

Well, I'll tell you, in my firmly undiagnosed autistic opinion for far too long, that this family is full of people with undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder. When I was watching it with my parents my mom made the comment that "the dad was a jerk" and maybe "he just didn't love his daughter enough to let her be her own person." I thought that was so not seeing the bigger picture even though it was only fifteen minutes into the film. I have felt like Katie so much with my own dad. My dad is a computer nerd and a physics major for those of you that don't talk to me very often. That means in laminas terms that he's extremely smart. Way smarter than I will ever be in my entire life. Both of my parents are insanely smart in their own rights. My mom is a CPA accountant. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about here. I want to discuss the effect of undiagnosed autism and what it can do to a whole family when they all have it and just don't know that they do. This will probably go on for quite some time so you may stop here or read below the cut because this also has the probablity of getting super, duper personal.

We'll start with Katie! To me, Katie is one of the most relatable characters that I have ever come across. She's a film nerd, which alone has made her supremely relatable as somebody who is thinking about going into a degree in film studies. I am more of a critic of film than somebody who wants to make her own film but nonetheless, there were SO many little moments that I related to. The first thing that I personally noticed and related to was the stimming technique that Katie has. She chews on her hoodie strings. As somebody who has chewed on the drawstrings of hoodies far too often long before I was officially put into the Aspergers box. Aspies are also known to stick with one "special interest" for the rest of their lives if it's one that is wide enough and varied enough to make it applicable. For Katie, that's film. For me that's animation. I appreciated that little detail of most of her dialogue being references to other films because as a lover of films and movies in general I could go for days on just fumes and movie references that nobody else understands. The little things from her hair being perpetually messy (same that's a whole ass mood like I just learned over quarantine how to tye my own hair back), only having one earring in her ear at all times, the way that she dresses and draws on her own hands, this was just me when I was first in high school. I was one of the few people that wore shorts underneath all my skirts/dresses. Everyone who knew about looked at me like I had grown a third eyeball.

Aaron, the younger brother, also just oozes spectrum lil buddy out of his every pore from his being. I do think that they should have picked somebody capable of doing a bit of a younger sounding voice (I know what they were going for, but like Ben Schwartz has become a huge deal in both voice acting and live action before switching mediums.) His special interest is actually quite a common one, he loves dinosaurs. I've met a bunch of people on the spectrum that are fascinated by dinos and what they meant for the world as well as the universe as a whole. To me, there was one scene specifically that was the scene where Katie was lightly teasing him when they were going to the half assed dinosaur extravaganza. For me, this was SO relatable because both of my parents will mess with me about my interests most of the time it's when we go to Disneyland, they'll tell me that we actually aren't going to land of magic but to Timbuckto (hopefully one day they'll say some place else just to switch things up.) I related so hard to Aaron's protesting and whining in this scene since that is always my reaction to doing something that I want to do but get told that I can't do that thing.

Linda is more of your traditional mom but I think that she's on the spectrum as well. Just a more... normalized version as opposed to her family. She's able to be a teacher, she's able to interact somewhat normally around her neighbors. If anything, she reminded me of my own mom. This independent, takes nobody's trash (especially not her husband's), strong minded, and amazing mother who is completely in control of everything. She knows the special interests of her children and is constantly thinking of what will make them happy. Whether it be taking a detour for something dinosaur related, reminding her daughter that her dad loves her no matter what, and even something as simple as watching something that her daughter made and put her heart and soul into. I can't tell you how many times my mom has watched something with me. She watched my first anime Soul Eater with me when I was 12 and ever since then has been trying to get me to watch other shows with her. She's a lot like Linda, your loving, but firm mother who just wants her family to work things out.

Whew boy. This one is going to be probably where I cry. Comparing my dad to Rick is... something that I did consistently when I was watching the film. He's the strong but silent type usually, unless your me and he's just this constant annoyance when I'm trying to do something. He could be seen as just a "Jerk" but I think that is the undiagnosed aspie talking. Rick and Katie just struggle so hard to see eye to eye because their special interests can't intersect to save their lives. This, this hurt me because so often I struggle to relate to my dad. Especially when he talks to me about computers or physics. Now I took physics but without having been in quarantine and having him as my live in tutor I would have failed, not gotten an A. This has resulted me in saying things that I don't mean in the heat of the moment when we do argue. It doesn't happen nearly as much as it used to back when I was in middle school but when it happened it was because of one thing. I lied. I used to lie a lot because I felt so unworthy of being his daughter because on my best days I am not technically smart. You want to know how many nations of the world there were in 1991 when the original Animaniacs was airing? You want to hear my Dot Warner impression? Did you ever wonder how to recognize a specific voice when your watching anime? Have you ever had to watch a panel of your favorite anime voice actor just to laugh at something? No, well I did. But ever since I have started taking a quarter off from community college I have realized something. I am not technically smart. I struggle at learning the rules for math. My dad can do this with his eyes closed but me, I struggle and look like a complete moron. It took years for my dad and I to see eye to eye. Sometimes I still wonder if I was the product of some laboratory experiment of what would happen if two intelligent people came together, fell in love, and expecting that the daughter was smart I was the reject. Watching this movie with my dad I saw so much of my relationship with him on the screen. Struggling to relate to one another, fighting and getting into arguments about petty things, and not being able to be in the same room as one another without heated words because I didn't get him.

The scene that I related to the most when it was in terms of how much Katie just doesn't understand her dad was after he was nabbed by the machines. When Aaron asked her why she said those things to their dad and her simple answer was "I don't know." This. This right here was when I saw me. So many times I've gotten into heated arguments with my dad when he has simply annoyed me at the wrong time and I've just blown up in his face. Then I regret my actions and not know how to apologize for losing my temper with him because "I don't know" just doesn't seem like a nearly acceptable answer. I felt this in my soul because it happened especially often before I was diagnosed.

When I was diagnosed, things started to get better with my dad and I. We haven't had a fight in nearly four years now. He watches cartoons with me now to try and relate to me, it's mostly Pinky and The Brain but it's more than I could have ever asked for. I love my dad so much, more than anything in the entire world. This movie is so, so good at telling a story about how a family of undiagnosed aspie's and people on the spectrum struggle to relate to one another because their special interests are different.

Special interests and family's are especially difficult and I applaud this movie so loud because of the way that it was able to treat the subject matter with integrity and honesty. I'm sorry if this analysis got a little bit long in the toof but thank you for sticking with me! I really hope that if you watched the film you loved my analysis.

[spideyspeaches]

Gold Rush ↬ t.h

Gif by @parkeraul :)

A/N: I'm in love with that song 🙈 also here's my super late contribution of professor!tom 😋 cause I've been procrastinating on the wandavision au (in my defence though, it's taking a lot of brainstorming 😂) anyway here you go-

Wc: 2.6k+

Warnings: lemme know if you find one :)

Summary: He taught British History and you chastise yourself for not auditing for that subject earlier.

Pairing: Professor!Tom x Student!Reader

Masterlist || Taglist

Waking up with a start, you groan at the shrill sound of your alarm. With a sigh that was more of a grunt of annoyance, you tried to reach for your phone at the side table, hissing when you felt the corner of your elbow hit the table, pain shooting up to your shoulder. 

Great, you weren't even up yet and your day was already going shitty. You just hoped that your professor won't be grumpy about you being late for the millionth time this semester. 

You hated cultural architecture. You had nothing against the course, but You hated your professor with a passion and wished that you could burn your textbooks for all you cared, right in front of your teacher's eyes, watch him writhe in fear as you banished the very existence of your material. 

You were being dramatic, but in your defence, your professor was an old bastard who never left an opportunity to reprimand you, going as far as letting you know how uneven your margins were on your latest project. 

He wore birkenstocks with a three piece. You wouldn't trust him with your assignments. 

Getting out of your dorm room was work, hard work. But you got out, brushed your teeth and wore what you hoped were presentable clothing. 

"You look hungover." Your roommate, Stacy, commented, spitting in the sink as you scowled at her. 

She was straightforward, outspoken and somehow managed to look like one of those Victoria secrets models that you loathed, even at seven in the morning. You hated her. 

(You didn't.)

"Thanks, I hope I smell too. Want that son of a bitch- what's his name, Wilson, to suffer for giving me that C minus on my thesis." You grumbled, rubbing your hands through your hair to flat them out. 

"You really hate him, don't you." She snickered, popping off her shirt. You tried not to look, not wanting to come off as a pervert, but damn, she was fit. You contemplated her words, frowning at your own reflection. 

You looked disheveled, the dark eye bags under your eyes very apparent as you tried to mask them with foundation, setting your hair for the millionth time. Oh well, you were presentable enough. Sweatpants would have to do for your only class today, you could binge Netflix after this wretched class. 

"I do. I hope his third wife divorces him and he loses his thermos of coffee in the subway." You said, adding your look finally before wearing your shoes. 

"That's cruel, didn't know you had it in you." She snickered, patting your back and following you as you closed the door, "Well I have to go to my boring science lectures now so, see you later hun." 

"Yeah, enjoy your chemistry period with your boyfriend!" You cheered sarcastically, rolling your eyes and hugging her to tell her that you were only joking. Your relationship was this, of jokes and hugs and kisses. You considered her your best friend. 

Rushing towards the gates of your university, you hastily tightened your loosening hair tie, adjusting the straps of your bags. You were pretty sure you had broken your record of being late to your class. You may hate the professor, but you actually enjoyed the subject. 

Wheezing as you ran past the late comers, you nodded at the receptionist, hastily signing yourself in. You would blame your clumsiness for what happened next, because one second you were fixing your sande on the foot of the fountain, and next thing you knew you were crashing into a firm body, your nose hitting the random stranger’s chest.

"I’m so sorry! I’m kinda late to class and I wasn’t looking and- whoa, ow.” You rushed your words, groaning when you felt blood rush from your head to toe, nose throbbing with double vision, a reminder of your clumsiness. 

“Whoa, hey calm down, it’s okay, I wasn’t looking either.” The stranger said, his thick South Western accent snapping you out of your self pity. 

You felt blood rush to your cheeks instead, not anticipating your face in a flush this early in the morning, when you got a good look at the stranger. He was good looking, in his black high turtleneck and brown checkered pants. He had a small leather satchel clutched in his hands, face looking as flushed as you felt when you realised that you had been gawking at him.

He was probably no older than his mid twenties, making you wonder what he was doing in your university. He was too old to be a student, and too young to be a professor. But then again, you wouldn't judge him for joining college late.

Right? 

"S-sorry, you um, you must be really late, you should go." He stuttered, your heart fluttering at his dimpled chin and thick accent. His eyes were gleaming in the morning sun, captivating in a way that left you in awe. 

"Um yeah, I am." You nodded, composing yourself, hoping that you didn't look too sleep deprived or disheveled, "where are you going, if you don't mind me asking."  

"Um, the architecture wing?" He said, unconsciously stepping besides you.

"Oh, I'm going that way. Is it your first time coming here? Haven't seen you around." You asked, trying not to stare at his sharp jawline and the way the morning sun hit him just right, illuminating and accentuating his curly brown hair. 

"Yeah, it's my first lecture, so um, looks like I'm late too." He smiled. It was infectious, you noticed as you mirrored his expression. 

"Oh, you're a student?" 

"Actually, I'm a professor. Just transferred from UCL." 

So you were right, he was a professor. He looks so young though. You thought, nodding at him, your thoughts interrupted by his laugh. Looking at him with confusion, you raised an eyebrow. 

"Yeah, everyone says that. I started right after finishing graduation so, I guess I'm not much older than you." He smiled, kicking the small pebbles littered around the set grassy ground. It had just rained, the smell of wet ground still fresh. 

"I said that out loud didn't I?" You smirked, ducking your head to hide. 

"You did." 

Entering the building, you realised that you hadn't asked which subject he taught, crossing your fingers and hoping that he would replace the old bastard that taught you cultural architecture. 

"I forgot to ask, which lecture do you teach?" You asked, looking for your class in the end. The hallways were empty, it was way past your first lecture and all the students were already in the auditorium. 

"Oh, uh, British History." He answered. You didn't let disappointment show too much on your face, smiling shyly before gesturing towards the class, "that's you." 

"Oh, um thank you." He smiled, pursing his thin lips together as he walked towards the class. You could hear screaming of the students as you both neared the classroom, you still standing by the door, "I didn't get your name." 

His question snapped you out of your disappointed gaze, 

"Oh, it's Y/n. Y/n L/n." You said with a smile. 

"Pleasure to meet you Y/n, I'm Thomas Holland, but you can call me Tom." He said awkwardly, before turning back to his class, who had yet to notice him.

"The pleasure's all mine Professor." 

For the first time in your college life, you didn't feel like tearing your hair off during your lecture, your thoughts wandering around. You wanted to berate yourself for not paying attention, but your thoughts kept going there. 

It was funny, how you met him not long ago and he was already taking up residence in your brain. You could not control your feelings after all. Something akin to nausea or excitement eased into your stomach when you pictured his smile, his black turtleneck that accentuated his biceps and pectorals. The little rebellious eyebrow and the tiny scar above it. 

It made your heart flutter, everything seemingly seemed to stop around you. It scared you a bit, how You had managed to envision the little details of his face in your brain after such a short duration. 

You didn't realise that you were smiling until you felt a nudge on your side, making you nearly jump on your seat. 

"What?!" You hissed, scowling at your classmate. 

"Who're you thinking about?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows as she leaned towards you. You had known her long enough to know her name but never bothered learning, and you were too scared to ask now. 

"It's none of your business." You muttered, glancing up to see your professor scowling at a student as they stood up. 

"Well okay, but did you hear about the hot new professor? Apparently he's teaching British History, I regret not taking that as a subject now." She said, her cheeks flushed with excitement. You furrowed your brows, feeling a pang in your chest at the realisation that you were probably just another girl with a stupid crush on the hot professor, that there were already girls who would die to feel his touch. 

"How do you know about him?" You asked, raising an eyebrow as you try to act nonchalant. You weren't being subtle, apparently, because you could see her snapping her bubblegum with a smirk, leaning forward as if trading secrets. 

"You kidding right? Everyone knows about him, you got a crush on him or something?" She suggested, scooting close enough to make you squirm. 

"I literally just met him, and ew, he's a professor, why would I see him that way?" You whisper, willing your heart to stop palpitating at the thought of said professor, your gut twisting in anticipation. 

"I don't know girl, he's hot and young and so much better than this bastard." She sighed, leaning on her palm with a fake dreamy expression. 

You went back to ignoring her after that, noticing how her notebook said 'Eloise'. At least you didn't have to ask her her name now. 

Your class went surprisingly well, or maybe it was because you weren't paying attention and thinking about him again. You really needed to get a grip on yourself. 

Walking out of your class, you decided to go to the cafeteria, your stomach begging for your attention.

Setting your things on a table, you took out your phone to scroll through Instagram, before switching it off and looking around the cafeteria. You didn't know what you were expecting to see, but your stomach was gurgling with hunger and nothing made sense when you were hungry. 

Walking to grab something to eat, you pick up your bag, hanging it over one of your shoulders before getting in the line. 

Just as you were about to turn with your bun and cup of coffee, you crashed into someone for the second time that day. Cursing your clumsiness, you heard a familiar British accent curse not very colourful words, making you stumble over as you tried to wipe off the hot coffee off his shirt.

"Hey, it's okay." He said, stopping your frantic gestures by holding your wrist with his to cease any movements.

"Professor Holland! I'm so sorry, it's like, I'm just clumsy. I have no excuse." You sighed in resignation, mentally facepalming at spilling your coffee at the hot professor. 

"It's okay darling, I've had much worse spilled on me." He smirked, his hand still holding on to yours. You had started walking away from the location, and yet his hand didn't let go, "You know, I used to babysit during my college days." 

"Oh, babysitting, right of course." You chuckled awkwardly, chest heaving with the sudden close proximity with the professor, dissipating the not quite PG thought that just occurred in your mind at his words.. 

"Sorry for-" You said in unison with him, chuckling. 

"You go first." He said.

"I'm sorry for spilling coffee on You, it must have hurt and I ruined your shirt and now there's a big splotch of coffee right in the middle!" You said, circling your fingers around your palm as you walked with your back to the exit as you walked out of the cafeteria, food forgotten and him following your pace. 

Before you could continue your awkward blabber, you were standing in the garden outside, leaning against a pillar with the garden in your view looking golden in the setting sun. He was standing in your view, the shadows around his jaw making it look sharp enough to cut glass. 

Taking a breath, you looked up at his smiling form with confusion when he didn't answer, instead leant onto the pillar next to you.

"You were... gonna say something?" You reminded, smiling awkwardly as you fiddled with your fingers.

"Oh? Oh! Oh yes yes, You know, I was kind of disappointed that you weren't in my class, Mister Wilson talks very highly of you." He said, folding his arms on his chest, it made his biceps bulge. 

"He does?" You looked at him with surprise, guilt panging in your chest when you remembered yourself bad mouthing the professor not long ago. 

"Yes, says you're a bright student with a bright future." He answered, leaning his head back so that his neck was exposed, Adam's Apple bobbing as he gulped, his hair falling into place perfectly against his forehead. The arch of his neck was beautiful, tracing it with your eyeballs as you imagined which other curves of his were as beautiful, immediately dismissing those thoughts, chastising yourself for thinking such a way of a professor. 

"That's… sweet of him. I've never heard him compliment me once in the two and half years I've been in his class." You chuckle, leaning your elbow on the pillar to get a better look at his side profile. 

"Hmm, he says he's hard on you because he wants you to do your best..." 

You stopped listening past that, your breath growing more erratic the more he talked, his smooth voice washing over you like warm honey with a squeeze of lemon. Swallowing a sudden lump in your throat, your heart leaping, leaving you nauseous and in a dream like trance. 

Tom noticed immediately, noticing your slouched posture as you stared at him with a small smile, the upturn of your lips so inviting that he almost dived in, wanting to know the feeling of them what they felt like against his. 

He wasn't the kind to date his students, in fact, he rarely dated after joining uni and becoming a professor. 

He strictly believed that student/teacher relationships should end in only a professional non romantic set up. That was all up until he crashed into you that morning. 

You had been in his mind all day, stirring him crazy as he imagined your smile, the way your eyes lit up when you talked about your subject of interest, the say your fingers fiddled with the ring you wore on your index finger. 

He wondered if this feeling would last forever or become a vague memory, an attraction of hearts that didn't last but felt good till it did. If he was rushing, or if you even felt the same way. 

He was smart, of course that's how he became a teacher, but he still couldn't place your feelings. 

So when he saw you staring at him, his heart leaping in his throat at your adorable smile, the only logical answer his brain gave was that you liked him too. Temporary attraction or not, he wasn't one to look a gift horse in it's mouth. 

Next thing he knew your lips were crashing onto his, your chest pressed against his firmly as your hands reached up to the base of his neck. 

Your fingers were soft, tongue swishing against his as he opened his mouth to let you enter. His hands automatically reach for your waist, holding onto firmly as he slammed you against the pillar. 

The sun was nearly down, the last of the rays hitting the garden, lighting you both up in a golden glow that left you breathless with a fire raging in your souls. 

"What do you say that I audit for British history? I'd like to learn more lessons from you, Professor Holland." You said, breathless against his chest, hiding your nose against his sternum, blood rushing to your ears as his warm hand burned against the bare skin underneath your shirt. 

"That would be great darling, anything to see your pretty smile every morning." 

A/N: let me know what you think! :)