#I'm truly not saying the suspect doesn't deserve it

[roseapprentice]

ugh, I listened to the podcast "Fur & Loathing," and it was a terrible, terrible mistake

I'm so mad at this podcast. It spends 5 episodes lulling you into a sense of trust and security by investigating the furry fandom with real curiosity and respect

And then the final episode is a sharp heel turn into ableist vilification

Like, "Look, this guy is clearly guilty because he's exibiting symptoms of PTSD from being repeatedly questioned by police! He even says weird stuff when we spend hours pushing him far past his stated boundaries and he starts dissociating. Clearly a terrorist!"

I'm not saying the guy they accused didn't do it. It sounds like he probably did, for all the same reasons he was the main suspect for years.

I even get not having much sympathy for the suspect. By the show's account he's a mean, vindictive, nazi-flavored troll.

But if you're going to report about someone through the lense of their mental illness, you take up a responsibility to at least handle that illness with some modicum of respect. Disgusted pity is not a valid substitute. The podcast's closing arguments were mostly just reframing evidence of trauma as evidence of guilt.

This show actually had me fooled that it was trying to be responsible journalism, and then it went full true crime genre gross. In a way that's super triggering for anyone who's experienced ableist gaslighting.

(*cough cough* Just any old hypothetical person.)

They didn't even have disclaimers in the body of the show saying not to harass the guy. And the host goes on about his years of experience doing journalism about internet communities, so he has no excuse for that oversight.

I'm so, so pissed.

[sage-nebula]

I've watched pretty much all of Jenny Nicholson's videos (despite not being into most of the things she's into) for a variety of reasons, but one of the reasons I watch her content is because I think that she seems like a truly stand-up kind of person. Of course, given that she is a person creating content for YouTube, we're only allowed to see the version of herself that she wants us to see. I'm under no illusions about that. But the version of herself that she presents to us, the viewers, seems to be a person who is not only genuinely passionate about the things she discusses (and honest about why she'll hold back on discussing certain topics when fans of those topics can be awful about it), but also who considers the experiences of (for lack of a better phrase) the average person when it comes to the theme parks and other experiences that she reviews.

Three specific instances come to mind: one from the Evermore video, and then two from her most recent Star Wars hotel video. (Side note: she was so, so right that Disney marketing is stupid as hell for not letting influencers et cetera use the common names for things. The average person doesn't know what "Galactic Starcruiser" is, but will understand "Star Wars hotel." Get it together, Disney.)

In the Evermore video, Jenny talks about how she emailed Evermore Park ahead of her visit to try to get more information prior to her visit. Things like whether there was a dress code, what she could expect when she arrived there, information that should have been readily available on the website but wasn't. She mentions that she could have mentioned that she's an influencer and that she probably would have gotten a response (because they never emailed her back), but that she deliberately chose not to.

"So I did attempt to email ahead of my visit, trying to ask basic questions about the park and inquire about renting it out. When I did that, I was intentionally vague; I didn't link my channel, and I didn't use my primary email. And I sort of suspect that if I had done the whole influencer song and dance -- said my channel name, my subscriber count -- I might've had better access to the park, and perhaps even a better experience. But that wasn't the point. I didn't want to call ahead. I'm the mystery diner! I'm the undercover boss! If you can't deliver an equivalently good experience for all guests, that's on you and your business." [x]

Then, in the Star Wars hotel video, there were two instances in which Jenny had to reach out to Disney customer support for assistance, and received absolutely nothing in return. The first was when she paid for a photo taking service, but had absolutely no photos taken of her. When she reached out to Disney customer support for a refund, they refused to give her said deserved refund. The second instance was when she had purchased a large droid figure from the hotel, and had it shipped to her house via the Disney shipping service. The Disney shipping service inputted her address incorrectly (in fact I think she says they put in a completely different address altogether), so her droid was lost. Once again she reached out to Disney customer support to find out what she could do about this expensive item she had purchased, only to be told that they couldn't do anything to help her.

In both cases, Jenny took to twitter to post about how Disney was refusing to a.) issue her a refund for a service she paid for but never received, and b.) help her receive an item she'd paid for but never received. Both times, Disney reached out immediately, issued her the refund, and overnighted her lost item. Jenny correctly identifies that they only did this because she's an influencer with a large twitter following, and has this to say in the video:

"They didn't even ask for my phone number. Like someone at Disney just did the legwork to go into the database, look up my booking info, find my phone number and then call me within a day of the tweet going out. And the person who called me was really nice, and I'm thankful he cared to resolve it. BUT, I just always feel very cynical when I try to resolve issues through the appropriate channels available to all customers and nobody will help me until they find out I'm an 'influencer.' I spoke with several other guests who got [the photo taking service] and had the exact same problems as me, and they never got refunds." [x]

And

"But then after I tweeted about it on my twitter account with a lot of followers, Disney suddenly resolved it and they sent me a replacement. They actually overnighted it to me. And along with it they sent a lot of miscellaneous goodies which I really appreciated. So here again, I feel if this had happened to anyone without a lot of twitter followers, they would have had a significantly more frustrating experience." [x]

I feel that this post will probably read as giving Jenny kudos for doing the bare minimum. And I think that on some level, that's true. But it's true because nowadays, many influencers won't even do the bare minimum. They would have Disney immediately issue them a refund, or overnight the droid to them with the additional goodies, and then make posts gushing about how great Disney's customer service is, despite knowing full well that the (again for lack of a better term) average person who doesn't have a huge internet following would never receive that kind of support from Disney. Similarly with Evermore, most influencers would call ahead and flex their follower count to try to get a bespoke experience to then show on their channels. They wouldn't want the same experience everyone else gets. That won't generate good content, in their eyes, and besides, they're better than that. Don't you know who they are?

But Jenny, despite her follower counts, keeps it real. Yes, she appreciates that Disney did give her the deserved refund and did send her the droid + gifts. But she also points out, both times, that if she'd been a person without a large twitter following, they would not have done that, and people in the exact same position she was with the photo service didn't get their deserved refunds. With Evermore, she didn't call ahead because she DOES want the same experience everyone else gets. She wants to be able to give a genuine review. Whether that review is positive or negative is dependent on the business itself.

Again, this probably seems like giving Jenny kudos for the bare minimum of decency. And I agree that on some level it is. But I also think that, in today's day and age, we really don't get that with a lot of influencers, who are in it for the sponsorship money (and who get their egos way inflated), and so it's nice to have a reviewer / theme park influencer who is honest with her opinions, and who recognizes that yeah, Disney did give her special treatment, but that it shouldn't have been special treatment, that they should be helping all of their guests like this, through the normal channels that she tried using, and they are a shit company for not doing that.

I just really appreciate Jenny.

[biblio-smia]

lay close and listen [ethan landry x reader]

pre-ghostface / no ghostface alternate - spoiler free!

masterlist | requests are open!

pairing: ethan landry x gender neutral reader

warnings: brief angst, fluff

part 2 now posted!

Ethan Landry was a loser. It was an undeniable, irrefutable fact that no one could help but admit with a shrug and a small smile. Ethan had friends, yes, but was a loser in the sense that he had no smoothness when it came to romance, unlike the Meeks Martin twins. He had no charm like Tara did and he lacked the ability to flirt that Quinn regularly equipped. He didn't have your magnetism or sweetness that drew everyone in until they were completely, hopelessly, in love with you.

The universal truth that Ethan Landry had no game was suddenly and shockingly disrupted at the news that Ethan Landry had a girlfriend.

You, as his best friend, were the first to find out.

You sat there, on Ethan's bed in the room he shared with Chad, in utter surprise. Your eyes were wide and your mouth agape as you tried to feign happiness.

"Ethan, that's- that's great! Who is she?"

"Her name's Amy and she has Calculus with me." Ethan said proudly, a blush dusting his cheeks.

"Oh, so she's smart," you teased lightly, your brain still catching up to process the information.

"No, she's totally failing. I already promised to help her, though." Ethan was clearly proud of himself, grinning from ear to ear. Your smile, however, faltered at this piece of information.

You knew that Ethan's definition of help was very different from yours. It wasn't a bad thing, but he tended to go above and beyond for people, even when they didn't deserve it.

Your heart clenched as you began to suspect the worst of this girl. It was your intuition, you'd argue, although another nasty feeling was brewing right beside it.

"So, did you guys go on a date? I mean, aren't you moving kind of... fast?"

"Do you think so? I mean, she kissed me already, so—"

"What?" That nasty feeling got bigger, moving into your throat and clouding your head.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You asked, the hurt you felt reflecting in your voice.

Ethan's shoulders slumped as he analyzed your reaction, anticipating a different one. All he could do was shrug, feeling the heat on his face increase and water pool in his eyes.

"That was your first kiss, Ethan." You stated as if he wasn't aware. "Those are supposed to be special."

"Is she not special? She's the first girl to like me, ever. She's the first one to actually see me as something other than—" Ethan's voice broke as the tears forced their way down his face.

"Ethan..." You tried, placing your hand on the one shielding his face from you.

Ethan pushed your hand away, getting up to turn away from you.

"I thought... I thought you'd be happy for me." He stated, voice still quivering despite his arms crossed from his spot in the corner of his room.

You had no reply, other than to get up and leave.

「 ... 」

Ethan didn't interact with you or the group much after that. You thought it was your fault until Ethan sent you a funny post — his way of letting you know you two were okay again when neither of you wanted to apologize.

Ethan's absence was starting to concern the rest of the group, however. It took Chad to say something for it to become a proper discussion.

"It's his new girlfriend," Chad grumbled, swinging his legs off the bench. "I mean, it doesn't even sound right. Ethan and girlfriend?"

You rolled your eyes at the comment.

"It's not just that — I mean, his girlfriend is truly a ... not great person."

"Chad, ever so respectful of women." Anika joked.

"I'm serious! I mean, as soon as he left the room she acted like she owned the place. It's my room too!"

"Sounds like a territorial problem, not a her problem." Mindy concluded. "Just say you're jealous Ethan got a girlfriend before you did." Mindy shrugged, entirely uninterested.

"But he's never around anymore. He barely texts in the group chat, we barely know he's alive!" Chad argued.

"You room with him. I'm sure you see him enough."

"Well," Tara interjected. "He's not wrong." Chad smiled at her gratefully. "He's always hanging with his girlfriend and never with us."

"I'm always hanging with my girlfriend." Mindy countered.

"You kill two birds with one stone." Anika smiled, placing a kiss on Mindy's cheek.

"You guys know how he is. He's probably a mess around her and doesn't want us to see that. He might just not want to introduce her to us." Mindy's eyes fell on you, who had been sitting quietly this entire time.

"Why don't we ask the Ethan Landry expert?" She stepped towards you with a smile.

"What's Ethan's middle name, birthday, and Social Security number?" Mindy moved her phone from her mouth to yours as a fake microphone.

"Very funny." You rolled your eyes playfully, moving Mindy's phone out of your face.

"No but, for real," Chad took a seat next to you, completing the Meeks Martin sandwich. "What do you think about Ethan and his girlfriend?"

Your eyes glanced nervously from Chad to Mindy, then to Tara and Anika closing in on you. You were trapped.

"Well..." You said, staring down at you lap. "I'm not... the biggest fan of her?"

"I knew it!" Chad shot up, a stubborn smile on his face.

"Ugh." Mindy rolled her eyes, head falling onto your shoulder at Chad's ego boost.

You gently pat her arm, comforting her through her loss in the argument.

"Now my friends," Chad began, clapping his hands together. "Is the first order of the Anti-Amy Association."

Collective groans left everyone's mouths as you all collected your things and headed different directions, various excuses leaving your mouths as you left Chad, a determined expression on his face despite his scattered army.

「 ... 」

The complications between Ethan and his girlfriend began small. Ethan began a routine of showing up at your dorm, unannounced and annoyed. You'd let him rant about Amy and comfort him in any way you could. Your final piece of advice was always the same: break up with her. Ethan would leave your room with determination that would disappear once he was 10 feet within Amy.

You began growing tired of the never-ending cycle. You made your annoyance clear the next time Ethan came over with steam to blow off.

"You know what I don't get? How she can be so mean to Mindy. They don't even know each other!" Ethan exclaimed, shoving another angry handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"You know what I don't get, Ethan?" The anger that'd been pent up had finally reached its limit. "Why you don't just fucking break up with her. She treats your friends and everyone around you like shit! How long are you gonna defend her just because she's your girlfriend?"

Ethan's face hardened as your words processed, already making moves to leave, only sparing you one final glance.

"Maybe because she's the only fucking person who actually loves me." Ethan shut the door behind him, but his argument sounded weak to his own ears.

「 ... 」

The next time you saw, or more accurately heard, Ethan was when he came knocking on your dorm room in the pattern he always did. It was uniquely his and it notified you of his presence immediately. You shot up from your seat at your desk, opening the door and allowing space for Ethan to walk in. He was playing with the hem of his shirt and avoiding your eyes. Something was bothering him.

"Ethan?"

His unresponsiveness made you pull him in for a hug, a tight one that you reserve for moments like these.

Ethan relaxed into your touch, letting out a heavy sigh.

~

After a few of his favorite snacks that you always kept a ready stock of, Ethan was ready to talk.

"I'm sorry." Ethan started, shame washing over him. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," you smiled. "We all did."

Ethan sighed, flopping down next to you in your bed.

"It's over." He mumbled. "I just... really wanted her to like me. And, I do think she does, but she doesn't like me me."

"More like the idea of you?" You suggested.

"Not even. She likes my potential." Ethan sighed in defeat and you felt your heart ache.

"She told me..." Ethan took a breath. "She told me I was hot but that was it. She said I was a 'fucking loser with no personality.' She thought I was gonna have sex with her and secretly be this, like, magic sex god, or something..." Ethan tried for a laugh but it fell short.

"And maybe she's right." Ethan went on. "I mean, I think everyone can collectively agree on that, at least."

Angry tears pooled in your eyes, but you wiped them before Ethan could see. You turned over onto your side so the two of you were face to face.

"Ethan. You're a loser who doesn't know how to talk to girls." You stated, watching the shock strike Ethan's face. "But you're more than that. You're smart and you work hard. You're funny and sweet and helpful and kind. Sometimes you're so much of a people pleaser I want to slap you—"

Ethan laughed and you noticed he had tears in his eyes.

"But you're one of my favorite people, ever."

"Even if I can't talk to girls?"

"Especially because you can't talk to girls. It makes me love you a million times more."

Ethan hugged you so hard he knocked you onto your back, his silent tears creating a wet spot on your shirt. You rubbed his back soothingly, playing with his curls in the way you knew he liked.

"So," you started once his tears were dried. "Do I have my best friend back?"

Ethan nodded, laying his head on your chest as you held him close, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. Your hearts raced in tandem, each of you mistaking the other's pounding heart beat as your own.

"I'm not going anywhere ever again."

[toffeebrews]

THOIGHTS ON HYPERSOMNIA (error x ink x dream)..?

Going to be honest I didn't consider this ship till I saw your account talking about it

Quick Edit: Somehow I accidentally convinced myself I like this ship by doing this?? LMAO

im going just off whatever my brain says so... hopefully it makes sense? I'm going to stretch things to make this work okay bare with me. That and I haven't had years to build headcanons so some of these are off the cuff. Nothing is canon obviously

I tried to wrap my head around how I would do it in my interpretation, and I decided perhaps if error calmed the hell down and realized maybe destroying universes shouldn't be ur life's goal. Due to morality difference I had trouble picturing dream being personal with error otherwise. I think perhaps some of these things dream/ink picked up on whether it being kidnapped by error or just via battle or something idk lol.

Due to Dream's empathy and knowledge of people he understands Error's motivations stem from a source of anger and not ration. Dream calls him out on it and Error feels a little violated by how accurate he gets it. Perhaps if Error did give up on destruction someday dream would be there to help him with his new identity???

More yapping under the cut

Ink, Error and Dream all relate to being outcasts and their own isolation due to the their roles (whether they bestowed it upon themselves or not). They're all lonely af (LMAOO).

I personally hc both ink and dream can lift way more than their weight. Ink not to dream's extent but he definitely is stronger than he appears. Error is perplexed with this information.

I never understood the " restores the balance thing" so personally I believe this was misconception dream had before he got to know error! Perhaps this manifested as rumors in the multiverse and error was rumored to be actually helpful instead of harmful. Also dream believed people had better intentions then they truly do at one point but as dream matures he realizes this isn't the case. Something like that. Not because I think dream is dumb, rather just want to see the best in people LOL even if he thinks what they're doing is wrong.

Error has a general distrust of dream at first, perhaps because his words remind him of another kind soul (it's blueberry... LMAO). But a part of him, even just a bit , just wants to have a "friend" (him and blue weren't exactly friends but yknow what I mean) like him again.

Dream weirdly finds some comfort in the anti-void as there is less emotional noise. I could picture dream commenting on it maybe, not directly referencing his own emotions but instead that the anti-void is calm (uh does dreams empathy have a bandwidth? I'm making that assumption.)

Dream got extremely excited when he realized error could also understand spanish.

He got quite invested in UnderNovela, dunno why but I imagine dream to be a fan of fictional romantic stories and dramas. He, Ink and error enjoy talking about it together. They've extrapolated a bunch of theories and such together for what will happen next.

I don't see dream as a crybaby but more suspectible to crying than the other two. Error doesn't... react the best to people crying nor do I believe ink to be the best at comforting others (projecting there whoops). I feel like Error is the type of guy to shove things in your face in hopes of making it stop LMAO. Like how you shake a toy in front a baby in hopes of getting them to stop crying. I just imagine error shoving sweets or some other gift in Dreams hands if he were to start crying. Dream would find his reaction kinds funny and maybe would brighten his mood a little bit. Ink is also trying his best and I suppose would try to be encouraging to dream. He would definitely give dream a well deserved hug. In general it's just an awkward mess, but they try their best. Dream would apologize after because of course he would.

Error in general gives "gifts" to dream, because he noticed Ink gives gifts to Dream when they get closer to being friends. Gifts in quotations because they're stolen. Idk, Error is weird.

While Dream obviously cam teleport au to au he doesn't understand as much the technical aspects of the multiverse. Error seems quite open to any questions he has about it I think. He hears error and ink discuss it at times but honestly it sounds quite confusing to him. Idk he's a curious little guy I think he would find himself love hearing Ink and Error yap about stuff like that *shrug*

I have this hc dream loves mlp so yeah they would watch that together.

[chrysanthemumgames]

Hi again!

This time I come back after re-reading the entire thing! Of course, aside from fixes to small continuity error and other stuff like that, it didn't change much from the last time I've read it, so I won't be saying anything new in terms of how much I love it and so on! It's just awesome as usual!

But I have a few questions I'd love to delve into, that I just didn't ask when the book wasn't finished, either because I didn't think of them or because I sort of preferred to wait for it to be actually done.

Sorry in advance for the long post though! It seems I'm unable to keep things short!

On a Hades romance playthrough, especially with a reserved MC who doesn't overtly flirt… Who among the other ROs and other people close to the main cast notices or suspects that there's a spark of "something" between Hades and the MC at the end of book 1? Considering just how much of a slow burn this route is, there isn't much to see yet, romance wise, but I feel like some people may realize something is starting to "shift" there.

When dining with Hera during her visit in chapter 6, if the MC tells her they like the Undeworld and what not, she ends up commenting "A shame". This line always had me reeling, but I didn't re-ask about it after first reading the entirety of the book so I'll do it now. Did she know what Demeter had planned to do? I always wondered why she'd think it's a shame, and it's pretty clear from the climax of the story that Zeus prefers the MC to stay in the Underworld, so I don't imagine it would be something like Hera knowing her husband wants to bring the MC back against their will. And there is no reason for her to have wanted MC to be unhappy for whatever reason. So it only leaves the option of her knowing about Demeter's plan in my mind, but maybe I'm missing something?

After the whole Eurydice and Orpheus thing, Hades says "There are some fates which very much deserve the fight. I know not what yours is, but if it turns out to be one you don't want, I am glad you have the power to change it. Not that this means I wouldn't do everything I could to help as well, of course." - it makes me wonder… Since for the duo of lovers their fate should have been for Orpheus to fail and that changed in my playthrough's case with my Dionysus' influence, I was wondering if in the scope of this story, the MC's "fate" should be the original outcome of the Persephone myth, with the "spending half a year in one realm the other half in another", and any other outcome is a result of having changed fate? Or is this not a part of their story that's truly decided by Fate in this interpretation of the myth? Also side note if it's the case, I think it's funny and kind of poetic that my MC basically traded his fate with Eurydice? Because his fate should have been spending half a year here and half there, and her fate should have been being separated from the one who came for her again after he failed and returning to the Underworld alone. But here, she managed to make Orpheus sort of succeed thanks to MC and now THESE TWO will spend half a year in one realm and half in another, while my MC managed to make Demeter fail and make it so he could go back and stay in the Underworld full time.

And final one! How much did Pirithous and Theseus get to know about what happened after Demeter dismissed them? At the very least in a scenario where they actually kidnapped the MC, not one where MC followed willingly. Not only I'm curious of Pirithous reflected upon his actions, but I'm also intrigued as if Theseus was "satisfied" of sorts that MC managed to go back (if that was indeed the case), considering he seemed against the kidnapping at least to a degree. If they even COULD keep informed, since they are demi-gods living as mortals as far as I understand their situation. I was just always interested in these two since they only appear in that short part of the story but what they do is HUGE.

And that's it. Sorry again for such a long post, and thanks for indulging me if you decide to answer even only some of the questions!

So!

I think a few of the others have picked up on things. I would say Charon and Hekate definitely know something is going on there, and friend!Hermes might have picked up some vibes as well. Even Alekto might have had a passing suspicion, though she doesn't quite consider it her business, and so doesn't devote much thought to it. People will tell her things when they want her to know them, you know?

Hera didn't have specific information about Demeter's plans, but she did know that it was likely she would take some form of drastic action. From her point of view, the arranged marriage was something Zeus did to screw with her (Demeter), and he was likely to reverse his decision once he'd had his fun with it/gotten some kind of concession from Demeter. So to Hera it seemed likely the PC had just found someplace they enjoyed, but their being taken away from it was basically a given.

There isn't really an assumed or default end for the story (or rather, not one that is more mechanically likely than another), but sort of yes! The PC ending up with a different outcome from the source story could be seen as their fate-subverting power at work. :)

Pirithous and Theseus are basically aware of the trajectory of events after they left, and this is because they're eventually brought to the Underworld for trial by the Erinyes. This is dealt with in the first chapter of the sequel.

Thanks as always for your kind words, and no worries about the questions!

[i-heart-hxh]

Do you think togashi Will sink killugon in the future by denying the romantic reading of their relationship?

Hi anon! I strongly don't think that'll ever happen. I truly believe including the romantic subtext between them is intentional on Togashi's part, and I want to be clear I'm not saying that just as a shipper, but as someone who has spent years deeply analyzing the series as a whole, as well as Togashi's influences and interests. The deeper I look into it, the more I'm certain he includes all the things he includes with full intention.

Again, I post this because everyone deserves to see it:

Togashi wanted to create works with queer characters before HxH even existed, and he was deeply invested in this concept! It's possible pieces of HxH even came out of this original idea he had--he did say he might publish it someday in "a different form," so it's not an impossibility.

I think likely one of two things will happen with Gon and Killua's relationship in the future of the manga:

Togashi will bring them back and reunite them, and we'll (at least eventually) get some sort of ending for them that may not be 100% undeniably canonically romantic, but likely continues with the same kind of romantic subtext and ambiguity that's been present all along. (Think something like: They decide to travel together again and promise to stay together without it actually saying if they mean it in a romantic way or not, but there might be hints or wording that imply it is intended in that way, with Togashi trusting those of us who see it that way will understand.) Or maybe we hit the jackpot and he does make it explicitly canon. I don't think that's super likely, but if anyone could get away with it, it would be Togashi, for a whole list of reasons I won't get into on this post.

Sadly he won't reach that point in the manga due to his health and how much of the series remains, but he won't say either way what he intends their relationship to mean, and we're free to continue to interpret it how we want.

There are other possibilities of course, but I think those are the most likely outcomes. I do think he fully intends to reunite Gon and Killua and I've written about this in-depth (whether the series actually reaches that point or not). I don't think he intends to "sink the ship" ever because he's the one giving us an uncountable number of reasons to believe in the ship in the first place... And I do think he's doing it out of his own personal interest, not just for marketing reasons or whatever like we see in some other shounen series. It's deeply embedded in the series and the number of things pointing in this direction is just so, so many.

I don't think there's any reason to be pessimistic about Gon and Killua's future, aside from the factor of Togashi's health. However, I try to take the attitude that, in the case that it doesn't ever get finished (and assuming Togashi doesn't have some sort of back up plan, and I suspect he might), we get to choose ourselves how it ends. I deeply hope we get a canon reunion between them someday, the thought of this happening is something that keeps me going in life, but if we do have to continue to imagine it ourselves, it certainly could be worse.

[callmearcturus]

thoughts on OMITB

yeah my family mainlined the entirety of Only Murders in the Building (3 ten-episode seasons) and I have thoughts and its my blog

This show had SO MUCH AGAINST IT from the onset. I'm too old to have seen Selena Gomez's run as a teenage actor. Worse, I have never in my life found Martin Short or Steve Martin funny. I truly mean that, I have never understood the appeal and eventually just assumed they were part of the early SNL school of comedy, i.e. only every fifth joke lands.

AND THEN ON TOP OF THAT this is gonna sound ridiculous but I didn't know the premise of the show was literally and actually "three people bond over their love of True Crime Podcasts and then decide to start their own podcast about a murder in their apartment building"

I had no idea that was the pitch

I fucking hate True Crime as a genre. I am one of those people who think its a deeply dehumanizing and unethical from top to bottom. so an ENTIRE SHOW about three huge enthusiasts who then make their own?

The deck could not have been more stacked against this fucking show.

AND I DO HAVE SOME COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE SHOW. Let me get those out of the way:

god the cameos make me roll my eyes out of my head. i do not get a thrill out of people playing themselves. I find it super false and annoying. (exception: okay Sting was funny bc he hates dogs and was a legitimate suspect for the murder for like five minutes, lmao)

some of the jokes in the show have a "please clap" vibe to them, and no i will not clap. be funny or gimme more fun character drama.

is that it???

oh yeah a big one: Oliver not being bisexual is so fucking baffling and I just do not buy it.

OKAY BACK TO WHY I LOVE THIS FUCKING SHOW

this show cares so much about its characters and you can say that about a lot of shows but OMITB has two specific skills it deserves kudos for:

ONE: even tho Mabel, Oliver, and Charles are the focus of the show, all the secondary and tertiary characters are important and consistent and are brought back over and over. Like Howard, who in S1 is the Gay Cat Guy and in S2 gets multiple moments of focus for him asking a neighbor out and in S3 is in almost every episode and is Oliver's assistant. The fact the show cares enough to give non-focal characters whole arcs to go through really sells the idea of the Arconia as community of people.

TWO: THE FUCKING ABILITY OF THIS SHOW TO MAKE YOU LOVE DEEPLY FLAWED, OFTEN ASSHOLISH PEOPLE.

the fucking FLEX that is "The Last Day of Bunny Folger" holy shit. for an entire season, Bunny was this constant nuisance no one liked, then she died, and over the course of one episode that doesn't try to REDEEM her, it just shows MORE of her, I was so fucking invested. And they did the same shit with Ben Gilderoy, it's amazing.

OMITB cares so much about having COMPASSION for everyone and treating all of them like people. There is no one who is purely contemptible

another thing I love is the trio and the various dynamics

all three of them together are adorable and the way they grow to deeply love each other is great. but also the way oliver and charles drive each other nuts and needle each other <3 and how mabel and charles really CARE about trusting each other and how fast they get invested <3 but MABEL AND OLIVER i love them they are hilarious and wonderful and just heighten each other's bullshit

oh my god and the way the show lets each of them have complex backstories and working thru shit. Charles' struggle with his neuroses and years of rejection, Oliver's connection with his son and how he almost throws a case bc he's in love with Meryl Streep (fair), and Mabel being mean and distant and aloof and it all having a REASON

okay fuck this is so long, some quick hits

Theo Dimas is genuinely the best character in the show, the moment he turns to the camera and signs "People in this city talk way too much" was like the moment i was IN on the show for good. thank GOD they keep bringing him back, he's the fucking best.

NATHAN FUCKING LANE AS TEDDY DIMAS, WHAT A FUCKING PERFORMANCE, HOLY SHIT.

wow so many fucking queer people. Mabel, Howard, Jan, Jonathan, Cliff, Jerry, Sazz, Detective Williams and her wife, Alice, and i think Zoe and Uma might be but I'm not sure.

ranking of Mabel's love interests: Oscar (who is great) > Alice (who sucks) > Tobert (boringggg)

the fucking wardrooooobes

the SETS!!!!!!!!!!

selena gomez' rack in the penultimate episode of season 3 holy shit WOW those tits

CHARLES' CAREER-LONG STUNT DOUBLE IS SAZZ, A HOT LESBIAN PLAYED BY JANE LYNCH WHO DOUBLED FOR HIM EVEN IN SEX SCENES AND IS SO MAGNETIC SHE KEEPS ACCIDENTALLY STEALING HIS GIRLFRIENDS

okay i'm done, omitb is good

[thatgirl4815]

Music Room

This scene was my most anticipated of the episode, maybe even the entire series, and there are so many competing emotions at play that make it so much more interesting on a rewatch. The first time through, it's clear the encounter is emotionally charged, both with anger, frustration, hurt, and love. But all of those layers build upof so quickly that one moment Sand looks so done with Ray and the next, he's tearing up. Just how FK execute those changes so seamlessly in such a short period of time is beyond me.

The encounter starts with Sand understandably withdrawn, wanting no interaction with Ray after what went down at the party. Ray says he's sorry and that he can't excuse his actions, but Sand isn't having it this time. That's the first thing that caught my eye about this scene--we see how cyclical this is for Sand; he's learned Ray's patterns. Ray makes a mistake, apologizes, and it all repeats, leaving Sand in the difficult position of either giving Ray a second chance or leaving him altogether (the latter of which, as we know, is a special challenge for Sand, for reasons he probably can't explain).

The apology doesn't work right away, and I think Ray suspected that, so he moves on to the real meat of why he's here: he thinks that coming to terms with his feelings and admitting those feelings will appease Sand. In my mind, what makes Sand so resistant to this admission by Ray is the way it seems like just another "out" for him. Regardless if Ray truly means it, the fact that he is saying it now, when Sand is so clearly angry at him, seems like an obvious attempt to soften Sand up and lure him back in. As we know, Sand is well-acquainted with this pattern, so he doesn't fall for it.

What Sand says here is such a pointed reference to Ray's own digs at Sand's feelings for him. In both of their arguments, at the Halloween party and at Mew's birthday, Ray has gone after Sand for his feelings--likely because they are one of the only things he knows will hurt Sand. Sand echoes a question that Ray seems to ask in every one of those arguments.

Something that I've been milling over since I first saw this scene: Why does Ray keep egging Sand on? He says it's so Sand can vent his anger, but I think it reaches deeper than that. I'd posit two potential reasons:

1) If Sand lashes out, it would "even the playing field" so to speak; after all the times Ray has lashed out at Sand, this is Sand's opportunity to return the favor. I think Ray has always enjoyed the fact that unlike Mew, Sand doesn't portray a superiority complex. Sand doesn't look down on Ray for drinking, even though he encourages him to stop for his own good. In the case of this argument, I think Ray wants Sand to hurt him so that Sand doesn't have anything (or at least, he doesn't have as much) to hold over him. Ray knows he made a mistake, but if Sand continues to bottle his anger up inside, there will be a level of imbalance between them. This leads right into the second reason...

2) Ray thinks he deserves it. This would come as no surprise given Ray's self-loathing and forgiveness issues. If Sand hits Ray, that would be giving him only a fraction of the suffering he thinks he deserves. I'm not sure how often Ray considers his own feelings of self-loathing, as those kinds of emotions often tend to manifest in self-destructive behaviors that operate at a subconscious level. But the point still remains that Ray's opinion of himself suggests he is eager to accept punishment.

Side note, but I think it's interesting how Ray's lines here parallel his lines in Ep4 at the record store:

In this scene, Ray's tone is much more light-hearted, illustrating how SandRay's problems have built upon one another and grown more serious since Ep4. There can be no more joking around now.

After some shoving and grappling from both sides, we see Sand's anger melt away as Ray says the trailer line: "Now that you've walked into my life, I won't let you walk away." This line is so special too because I can imagine Sand saying something similar to himself ("Now that I've let him become my 25th hour, how can I walk away?") and it frustrates him. Sand can tell Nick a hundred times that they both deserve better than their toxic partners. But the bitter truth is that Sand's words conflict with his actions, because he hasn't yet succeeded in leaving Ray behind (mostly because Ray won't let him leave him behind, but I'd like to believe he would be unable to cut of Ray so abruptly even without Ray's pestering).

Now that you've walked into my life, I won't let you walk away.

Sand's resolve is broken here, and at last, all of the pain he's kept buried under his anger rises to the surface. As some others have pointed out, in the trailer, Ray's tone comes off possessive, but in the context of the scene, it's desperate. Not so much "You don't get to walk away from me" but more "I care too much to watch you go now." I'd argue that Sand catches that distinction in Ray's tone too, because he doesn't shove him away anymore.

This all leads to a kiss. It's a reasonable outlet for all of the emotions building on top of one another. For Sand, it's just evidence of all those layers to his conflict; anger, frustration, desperation, pain, and affection all wrapped up in one. One thing I adore about First as an actor just generally is how he can blend emotions together. It's impossible to discern where one emotion ends and another begins, because they're all competing in Sand's heart, and he doesn't know which one to listen to.

~ X ~

Anyways, that turned sappy fast. I will not be forgetting about this scene anytime soon because it's such a necessary bridge between the party fight and the scenes in the woods. Here, we see for certain that both Sand and Ray's feelings are real *cough* all those people saying that Ray never really cared about Sand *cough*.

[chongoblog]

FUCK IT IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE PRESTIGE (2006) WHICH IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE EVER

Okay this was originally just gonna be a silly addition to a shitpost but I'm dedicating a whole ass post so I can gush about The Prestige (2006), which is my favorite movie of all time.

Before I go into it, here's what it's about. Some of you may be familiar with the plot of The Prestige, but for those of you who aren't, do not be alarmed, the summary that you're about to read is considered safe. And any spoilers are after the read more.

The Prestige is a movie directed by Christopher Nolan, who also did Memento, Inception, and Dark Knight, which are all also incredible, but I'll save rambles on those for a later day or for a white guy who makes film-based video essays on Youtube. The story revolves around two rival magicians played by Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale, leading to it being called "Batman vs. Wolverine: Magic Edition ft. David Bowie". Oh yeah also David Bowie is in this as Nikola Tesla. The movie opens with a magic show that ends with the death of Wolverine, with Batman being the primary suspect. The story is framed as Batman reading through Wolverine's diary in jail as they attempt to learn one another's tricks.

Just like any magic show, learning the secret to the tricks reframes parts of the movie, so I'm putting the actual analysis behind this spoiler cut. If you haven't seen The Prestige yourself, PLEASE find a way to watch it. I can't recommend it enough.

Okay, now that the noobs are gone, I'm gonna refer to them by Angier and Borden instead of Wolverine and Batman. And now that you know the twist because you TOTALLY didn't open the read more without watching it, we'll call the surviving Borden twin "Fallon", since the difference between the two twins is a very big part of the movie.

Before I go into anything I'm gonna say this miscellaneous thing because I literally just realized it after loving this movie for YEARS. This story contains the feud of two visionaries who constantly sabotaged and stole from one another while they tried to do amazing things in their field, and such a feud led to some significant violence. But anyway, enough talking about Tesla and Edison, let's get onto the actual story of Angier and Borden. (As snarky as that comparison was, it really adds to the speeches Tesla gives Angier, along with the parallel between cats and birds but thats a whole other rant)

One thing I adore about the movie is that it addresses a theme of sacrifice in exchange for spectacle. Sacrifices had to be made in order to put on a show. Borden obviously knew this perfectly well, since he was actively playing out that sacrifice. But Angier was obsessed with discovering a way to bypass that sacrifice. You can see this with how Borden's far less bothered by killing birds while Angier has Cutter create contraptions to save the birds. Angier begins to understand the sacrifice while using a double, but even the sacrifice of being under the stage while the audience applauds is too much for him. In the end, Angier DOES sacrifice, but also doesn't. His sacrifice isn't half of his life in the way Borden/Fallon's is (with each one living half of a life), but living half of the life by way of Russian Roulette (with entering the machine either killing him or letting him live his full life). Ironically the "die or live a full life" thing comes back for the Borden/Fallon combo in the end.

And you could be forgiven for thinking that perhaps since Angier is attempting to find a way to create spectacle without harm, he's in the right here. After all, in the end, the only thing he's truly sacrificing is himself. While Borden/Fallon's lifelong sacrifice had a dramatic impact on Sally and Olivia (the two main characters who truly did nothing wrong and did not deserve this), if Angier just did this trick and called it a day, it wouldn't hurt anyone except his own clones, which seemed to accept the coin flip. But the other aspect of Angier (and to a somewhat lesser extent Borden, and to an WAY LESSER extent Fallon) is obsession with being the best. And in terms of that particular theme, I think that the film says all it needs to about that.

I'm sure I could go on, but I've spent the last few days adding more and more to this draft so I figure I should just let it go into the world. I love this movie so so much you guys.....

[tonydaddingham]

god i hope you guys are ready for another crackpot theory, but this is now living rent-free in my head and it's time to pay up:

i'm now fairly convinced that crowley - and possibly aziraphale too - doesn't fully remember the fall.

because im rewatching s1 right? and this is what crowley said about adam and eve being exiled from eden because they ate from the tree of knowledge:

im sorry, but it's an 'overreaction'? that god would oust them from the garden - yes, for doing something she told them not to do - but for doing something, as crowley intimates shortly after, can't be that bad? and suggests deserved leniency, or mercy?

of course it's an overreaction! its completely bonkers! as bonkers as 'asking questions', or '[hanging] around the wrong people'! ie. presumably, if we assume crowley was telling the truth about why he fell*, this would have been his first offence. so why does he clarify that it's an overreaction because it was a first offence? and the offence itself (see next gif), as he suggests, wasn't even that big of an issue anyway?

if crowley truly did fall* for either or both of those above reasons, why on earth would he word it as an 'overreaction', and say it as if he's not sure? surely he'd sound way more bitter about it, as he tends to get later on in s1 and s2...?

if anything, to him, after the fall, it would make complete sense that god would react that way, that it was an overreaction. now, he could just be saying this to gauge aziraphale's reaction, true, but a) the body language and tone doesn't feel like he's testing aziraphale, he genuinely looks a bit clueless, and b) the way he goes on afterwards makes me think he doesn't yet remember the whole of his own experience in the fall.

isn't the whole act of falling meant to mean you are on the opposite side? the opposite of heaven - of Good? it literally posits the idea of there being a Good side and an Evil side, full-stop. crowley knows that there is a difference, and aziraphale too; they literally acknowledge this within their respective lines and being, by definition, a demon and an angel respectively.

so, given they've been through the fall, they'd surely understand the reason why knowledge of that difference is bad, right? they'd know why that knowledge is dangerous - it leads to conflict of literal, psychological, and spiritual proportions... so why don't they seem to acknowledge that understanding in this dialogue? why are they spitballing as to why humans knowing the difference is an issue? they'd surely know that it would - and it does, somewhat - spell for disaster.

it's almost like they've just become into being, an Evil Demon and a Good Angel, as if this is literally their very beginning. without much, if any, backstory to give them both context in this conversation. ie. why is aziraphale only guessing that "it must be bad...", when he's gone through the exact thing that makes him know why it's bad? because in his case, it led to the fall? to conflict? or, does he actually remember, but suspects in this scene that crawly doesn't?

now, im going to parse out some evidence, as i see it, in potential support, and countering, this theory.

they definitely seem to remember being angels, that is beyond dispute (allowing for hazy memory on both their and my parts):

crowley remembers building alpha centauri

crowley remembers (somewhat) discussing creating the concept of gravity

crowley remembers going into battle/war

crowley says "the angel i was is not me"

aziraphale remembers chucking his halo in the war

aziraphale says "you were an angel, once" (which is a little shaky but let's go with it) in s1

aziraphale says "i remember the angel you were"

aziraphale says "like the old times"

other things ive forgotten, no doubt, but you get the point - they must remember being angels at the very least, and also remember the war itself.

but, on crowley's part, we know he's a questionable narrator. to my mind (so this is biased as hell), i genuinely think this is part of his character and narrative makeup.

*im also going to plug an old meta from the pre-s2 golden era (and btw - humble brag - was liked by neil so im taking this to mean it's somewhat approved); his given reason for why he fell and how he fell conflict with each other. i originally sat on the side of crowley lying about why/how he fell, but now im more in the camp of him not fully knowing at all, and without god to give him answers, he's just guessed.

so was the judgement, his last judgement, if we go by this... was erased? well, if you go by my theory on the book of life (which obviously i do)... it kinda adds up. the only thing it contradicts is whether crowley fully remembers being an angel at all which has already been discussed by others, i.e. he does not. ill leave that up for debate.

but that crowley might remember his interaction with lucifer and co., and he had a propensity for asking questions, and assumed it was because of that... that he might remember diving into the sulphur pool (im not accepting "sauntered vaguely downwards", bc he said this in front of aziraphale), and crawling out into hell...

but. the bit in between? his actual judgement and sentence? the gavel on the block? god (literally) only knows.

(and aziraphale? his memory? im not entirely sure... but his perspective on the fall has been largely silent; mainly, i imagine, because he literally didn't go through it, and so has not really had occasion to talk about it. that doesn't support that he doesn't remember... but it doesn't negate it either. the only thing i would say is that, going by the BOL theory, he doesn't appear to have fallen... so if he does or doesn't remember, to my mind, is also still largely up for debate).

[niobe-loreley]

Heaven Is In A Shortcake {xvi}

the previous chapter was the appetizer~ now, for the main dish

disclaimer: The Gray Man and the characters are NOT mine, even the reader. I only own the plot and the reader's character lol. Pictures used in the fic are NOT MINE, but only the edited version (u can msg me if u ze owner); credits to the rightful owners and canva + weheartit. Additionally, I am not a Subic/Zambales native, so my apologies for any wrong locations, descriptions, or languages.

Six x F!Reader / Courtland Gentry x Female Reader

warnings: moderate amount of swear words. some filipino dialogues. slow burn. fluff. trust issues. dramaramramamama. comedy if you use a magnifying glass. culture shock. word count check. slightly proofread/revised.

CHAPTER SELECTION IS IN THE ✨Masterlist✨ Chapter 15 is the moment Chapter 16 is the icon

word count: 3.2k (N/N) = nickname *Kiara = Clare *Kurt = Court *cover names = reader doesn't know YET (except you do know #wreckthe4thwall)

After Court gathers your stuff and helps you with your shorts, he strips off his jacket and drapes it on your shoulders. "I'm just gonna tie them up, so they aren't walking free in the morning." he shortly clutches your shoulder, "Wait here, okay?"

You nod. "Okay.."

As you double-check your things, Court is tying up the unconscious thugs to a tree— rephrase: tightly tying them up. Not too tight to cut off circulation, but tight enough that it hurts and possibly cut off circulation if not untied after 12 hours.

Court was (still is) holding back. When he heard your muffled cries, he was seething. And when he saw the state you were in, there was only red in his vision. He badly wanted to kill them, but he quickly thought that death wasn't the punishment they deserved. Plus, it would attract too much attention.

Despite pulling his punches, Court struck the thugs hard enough for fractures.

"If I wanted to break all the bones in your bodies," he glances at the unconscious thugs, "I would've."

As he triples the knot, he looks over to you. You're fiddling with the contents in your bag while leaning on a tree. Court notices that you've donned his jacket, which looks like a very short dress on you. 

A fluttering feeling spreads across his chest and up his throat.

It's that dangerous feeling again. Much more dangerous than when he was livid. This will only worsen if he ignores it, so he decides to contemplate something else.

While securing the thugs' bounds, Court sneaks glances at you every five seconds. The horrific events took place no less than 10 minutes ago, yet somehow you appear to be standing strong and unaffected. He always suspects you're more strong-willed than most. However, Court cannot truly fathom the extent of the trauma you experienced.

It's something anyone shouldn't ever experience. No matter the gender or what kind of person they are.

Court deeply breathes in and out, dousing the anger boiling in his stomach. He steps back, admires his handiwork, and nods to himself. He heads back to you and he notices a light on the ground. It's a phone. He picks it up, thinking it's yours, and swipes at the screen. After two messy photos, he almost crushes the phone upon seeing a picture of you straddled to the ground with your shorts being pulled down.

He knows there are more photos, but he doesn't need to look at them or else he won't be able to leave without snapping all their necks.

You watch Court walking back with angry strides. Even though he's wearing a cap and there's not much light around, you know he has a scary face on.

"Hey," you say with a small smile, in an attempt to calm him.

"Hey.." he replies with a sigh, glancing at the phone in his hand. "They, uh.. they took pictures."

It takes all your might not to break down again. "Yeah.. yeah, I figured. I mean, I saw flashes," you chuckle awkwardly and gesture for the phone.

He reluctantly hands it to you. "You can delete them."

"And destroy evidence that they did this to me? I think not," you huff. "I hope it's enough to land them in jail. I don't want to do any trial of sorts."

"You're probably going to have to, though."

"And get you and Kiara involved? No way."

He sighs, exasperated and amused. "You were just—" he tightens his jaw, "Take care of yourself first before you start taking care of others."

You heave a brow at him. "I know I said you have a savior pass, but don't you dare lecture me right now." you declare chidingly and give his shoulder a shove. "Now, let's go.. there's a police station nearby."

Court frowns. "How near?"

"A minute or two by car? And probably less than a 10-minute walk." you furtively observe the reluctance flashing across his face. "I  mean.. you don't have to come with me. Just take me to my bike and—"

"No, I'll take you. Let's go."

"Where's Kiara, by the— ah!— Shit!"

You've only taken one and a half steps when your left ankle screams and decides not to fully function. Court is quick to catch you, and you feel a flare of shame on your cheeks, heating up with another emotion-that-should-not-be-named.

"Where does it hurt?" he asks, assessing your lower extremities.

You groan. "Left ankle. I think it's sprained."

"Let me take a look. Lean on the tree."

"Yeah, sure."

Court descends to a half-kneel and carefully rolls your sock down. He then uses his phone's flashlight to help his inspection. You glance at the thugs, still unconscious, and then you glance around, still no people. But the rain is slowly letting up.

"Maybe it's not a sprain— maybe I can walk it off, you know?" you shortly laugh, "It's my fault for just standing here and not stretching."

"It's sprained," says Court.

"Fuck." you say through gritted teeth, "Are you sure?"

"As sure as it is swelling."

You look down. "Damn, no wonder it kept twinging. I thought I could shake it off."

Court powers off the flashlight, pockets his phone, and rolls your sock up before he stands. "I have a compression bandage in the car. Here," he slightly squats down, "put your arm on my shoulder."

"Okay.. but shouldn't you be at my left side— woah, woah!" you yelp when he suddenly hoists you up in his arms. "Kurt, what are you doing?!"

"Preventing unwanted pressure off your ankle and keeping it elevated," he answers diligently, as though reciting in class, and starts walking out of the park.

You stammer. "I know first aid. I meant, why are you carrying me?"

He blinks at you. "I just told you why."

"I can walk."

"You tried."

"Stop arguing with me."

"That's my line."

"Why are you being stubborn?!"

"Why are you?"

Court's SUV is parked near where your motorcycle has fallen. Except its now up on its two-wheels and parked by the curb.

The driver's window rolls down and Claire's horrified face appears. "Oh my God, (N/N)!" she exclaims and climbs out of the car.

"Kiara? Seriously, what are you two still doing around these parts?" you question, glancing at the father-daughter duo.

"I told you, I'll tell you later." Court says, "You're safe, but not so sound. Health comes first."

Before you can protest, Claire opens the backseat door and Court carefully carries you in the car. "Get the first-aid," he tells the teen.

"Aye-aye!" Claire rounds the car, hops in the passenger side, and reels out a kit from under the seat.

"Scoot over," Court says to you.

"No." you say firmly.

He glares at you, and you glare back.

"Why are you two fighting?" Claire asks, amused.

"We're not. He's just picking a fight." you answer, scooting back.

He snorts. "Says the pigheaded." and climbs in the backseat.

"Who are you calling pigheaded?!"

"You, of course!"

Claire giggles. "Are you two just fighting to avoid saying what you're really feeling?"

You and Court look at her as though her eyes combined into one. "What?" the two of you chorus, "No."

"Jinx!" Claire chirps, laughing.

She opens the light and hands the first-aid kit to Court. He then starts bandaging your swelling ankle while you open up your phone's camera. It doesn't surprise you to see your beaten up reflection. Because honestly, you've been thinking you looked worse.

You have small cuts here and there; bruised right temple and left cheek; and dried blood caking beneath your nose.

Claire pops open a water bottle, carefully dampening a towel, which she gives you.

"Thank you," you smile, immediately wincing when your face twinges.

"Let me help," Claire unpacks the disinfectant spray and band-aids.

"It's alright—"

"No, (N/N)," Claire says solemnly, "None of this is alright."

You're momentarily shocked. This is the first time you've seen Claire immensely serious. Yet it makes you smile, and this time, you don't feel any twinge.

"Thank you, Kiara."

She blushes. "Y-You're welcome— but you don't have to thank me! I'm helping because I care about you, so it's only natural, you know.."

You feel a sting in your eyes and turn away, pretending to be eyeing the scrapes on your knees. In your peripheral, you spot Court staring at you discreetly. You've already cried in front of him, you don't want that to happen twice, let alone in front of Claire as well.

You've worried them enough.

"That's why I'm thanking you," you chuckle, turning back to her. "Because that's the only way I can repay you right now."

She hums. "How about a movie marathon on Sunday?"

You laugh. "Deal."

Court looks as though he's about to reprimand Claire, but quickly keeps it to himself. You stifle a smile at that and start checking on your other wounds.

"Why are we stopping here?" you ask as the SUV slows down to a halt one block away from the police station.

"I, uh.." Court trails off.

"Government issues," Claire chimes in, shortly glaring at Court. "Yeah, he's one of those crazed conspiracy theorist."

"I'm not crazy," Court defends.

Claire snorts. "I didn't say you were."

"Wait, is that why you always wear a hat?" you ask amusedly.

"Yes! That's exactly why!" Claire barks out laughing.

With red ears and a displeased frown, Court climbs out the car without another word. You and Claire exchange grins before she carefully crawls to the driver's seat.

Court opens the passenger door. "Don't move," he says when you start scooting towards him.

"Don't worry, it's not aggravated." you nod at my sprained ankle, which I've set atop the other ankle.

Court waits for you at the edge of the seat. And without warning, he hooks his arm under my legs and cradles my back with the other, gently carrying you out of the car. The heat on your face clashes with the cold biting your skin, the battle sends shivers down your spine and you try not to shudder.

"Hey! Don't tell me you'll carry me to the police station like this," you frown at Court.

"How else would I take you there? Want me to roll you?"

"Go ahead, you'll be the one having a hard time."

"Stop arguing with me or I will really roll you across the ground."

"I'm just saying that you can carry me on your back, dummy!"

"Aww, arguing like a newly-wedded couple!" Claire chimes in teasingly.

You and Court snap scowls at her. "Cl— Kiara!" he chides, while you exclaim, "What?!"

A click and a flash resounds across the quiet street. Claire has taken a polariod picture of you and Court. "If I edit this picture, I'll caption it as Brawl Wedding." Claire snickers as she wags the photo towards the two of you.

As if you haven't blushed enough, your neck and face are flaring when Claire said 'wedding'.

Once you're on Court's back, he starts a slow trek to the police station. You keep your hands on his shoulders rather than wrap it around him. He's already too close as it is, and that zesty scent of his isn't helping. You don't even wanna get started about his hands underneath your thighs.

"Is it okay to leave her alone there?" you ask, an attempt to distract yourself from observing him at such proximity.

He shortly glances over at you. "Can you worry more about yourself right now?" he replies in a playful tone, but you know he's scolding you.

You huff. "I'm done worrying about me."

He clicks his tongue. "Well, I'm not."

"And why is that?"

Court doesn't answer right away. "Because…" he stammers and trails off, and for some reason, that makes you blush.

"You and Kiara dot on me too much," you say to break the awkward silence.

Court chuckles. "About Kiara.. don't worry, she's a big girl. She knows how to defend herself."

"Did you teach her?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Can you teach me?"

"Of course. When would you like to start?"

"I was kidding."

"I'm not."

You feel a swell in your chest. Unfortunately, it's nothing bad. Just good.. stirrings. Same feeling when eating a marshmallow.

"I can handle myself." you say.

He sighs. "I know you can, but.." he stops walking, "I just want to teach you how to clock someone the right way."

"The right way?" you echo amusedly.

"Yeah, the kind of way that knocks someone out in one or two hits. So that they don't quickly get back up."

Court starts his gait again. You're about to reply a joke, but notice that you two are almost to the station. You press your lips shut and stifle a smile. 

You want to ask him more. You want him to talk to you more. But you don't want him to run out of things to say or share to you and your curious (talkative) self. Then again…

You furtively peer at his face. It's serious, like it always is; however, there's flecks of nervousness on it. The reason for that is unfathomable to you.

…Court never ceases to astonish you.

The police are like flies on a watermelon on a hot, sunny day when you and Court enter.

They inquire you relentlessly while ushering you to a room. And when asked to have a private conversation with you, Court is about to exit when you hold onto his arm and ask the officers to let him stay.

Now, he's watching you retell the whole event.

"Listen, don't look too suspicious. Keep your cap up a bit, but not enough to show your face on the CCTVs. Just enough to let them know you're friendly."

Court briefly lowers his head, hiding his smile, as he recalls what you whispered to him before entering the station. It's as though you know what kind of circumstances he and Claire have. Surprisingly, no matter how many countless times he did a background check, you don't know anything— you're clean.

Too clean, if his paranoia may add.

And if his paranoia will add another thing, it's: how the fuck is he still calm being in a police station filled with security camera?!

Court is panicking for not panicking in the first place. Scratch that— for not panicking even now!

It's baffling him.

Appalling even!

"Opo, nakatali lang po sila sa isang puno sa Waterfront Park. Kaibigan ko po may kakagawan," you nod towards him and the officers glance with quirked brows.

Court internally composes himself and returns a nod. Looking at you, everything somewhat becomes crystal clear yet simultaneously foggy.

If you're the reason why he's staying calm indefinitely, the next questions should be.. why and how?

By the time you're done with the interrogation, Court unfortunately doesn't come up with an answer.

The officers escort you two out, where Court only piggybacks you down the stairs and off into the street.

"They wanted to interview you," you say once Court crosses to the next block.

"Really?"

"Yup! Told them you're Icelandic and still practicing basic English."

Court stifles a smile, but it quickly ends up into a grin. "I can't believe they bought that," he replies teasingly.

You huff proudly. "I can be monumentally persuasive without breaking a sweat."

"What else did you persuaded them to?"

"Nothing, really. They're quick to assume that I'm your tutor."

"Did you tell them we were out late tutoring?"

"Yeah, I did! I told them that you were an immersive learner, you needed environmental stimuli to learn the words. That's why we were outside, and then got attacked by those goons."

Court can't hold back his laugh. And you're immediately infected by it.

"What?" you ask, chuckling.

"You're a very convincing liar." he declares, "I say that as a compliment."

"It wasn't lying if it was partly true."

"I don't think half of it was true. Nevertheless, it was awesome."

"But you are Icelandic, right? I presumed because of the chef-takes-first-spoonful tradition." you snicker and unknowingly place your chin on the edge of his shoulder, inclining your head sideways. "Remember? The night we first met.."

"Yeah," he looks over at you, "how could I forget?"

Court doesn't realize, and neither did you, just how close your faces are. All he knows is that despite your bruised face decorated with cuts, you look pretty. 

You are pretty. 

But he doesn't like you because you're pretty.

You're pretty because he likes you.

Wait, what?

"Hey, noble steed, you aren't moving." you pat his shoulders, chuckling.

Court snaps out of his stupor just as you pull your face off his shoulder. He notices your blushing cheeks, but disregards it for a trick of the light on your bruise.

"Sorry," he mumbles and carefully marches towards the SUV.

Once you're safely situated and buckled up in the backseat, the father-daughter duo chorus a question— "So, where do you live??"

"Jinx," you chuckle and reel out your phone. "I live in—"

Without warning, there's a heavy pounding in your chest. You're about to ignore it when you feel your airway tightening. You furrow your brows as you try to steady your breaths. "I'm okay, just—" you sputter, "Just give me a minute."

"(N/N), what's wrong?!" Kiara unlatches her seatbelt and meticulously sidles from the front seat to the back.

You shut your eyes, but that only made it worse.

The guys who attacked you flash through your head, and you feel their hands on you again.

You snap your eyes open. No one's touching you. Even Claire is just right in front of you.

"I don't think I can go back to my apartment." you confess, gauging their reactions.

"That's.. that's okay, hey," Claire rubs your shoulder.

"The landlord will have me taken care of, I don't—" you shake your head, "I don't want to burden anyone."

"You won't be, (Y/N)." Court declares, frowning at you.

"Yeah, you need help, (N/N). That doesn't mean you're a burden," says Claire. "Do you want to go to Mindy's?"

"No, no.. I don't want to drag her into this."

Court sighs exasperatedly. "Are you serious? Will you stop worrying about others for now?" he questions, though it sounds more of a demand. "Mindy is your friend, and she'd want to get dragged into this. Unless you don't consider her your friend."

"She is. That's why I don't want to go to her right now."

"What the fuck kind of logic is that?"

"Kurt!" Kiara hisses.

"If you're so stressed about me, just leave me at the cafe!" you yell.

"What?!" the father-daughter duo looks at you in disbelief.

You sigh apologetically. "I'm sorry."

They stay silent.

"The cafe is a safe space for me." you disclose, looking at Court and Claire. "I have extra clothes there, some first-aid, and a lounge room where I can rest."

Court breathes out a laugh, shakes his head, and exasperatedly drums his fingers on the wheel. "Yeah, no," he says, facing forward.

You roll your eyes. "What do you mean no?"

He looks over to you, gaze unreadable yet solemn. "I mean, you're staying with us for a few days. And that's final."

A/N: very firm, Courtland Gentry! WE LOVE IT! And not to be conceited or anything, but if you think this main dish is sweet.. wait 'til y'all taste the dessert ☆⌒(≧▽​° )

The keys to Chapter 17 are yet to be found!

✨TAGLIST✨

@kat-thepoet @queenofhellhasrisen @sierrasixswife @vallyb @lyuir @yvxcy @justareaderdude @sortingharryshairclip

[anneangel]

Grantaire...

Curious how Victor Hugo manages to fuse personality into the characters. Grantaire may be in coadjuvant but he's so... quick-witted, intelligent and well-spoken, with a very social demeanor, but with a bottle in hand and alcohol in his body, he becomes easily depressing, truly dejected, melancholy and downright unhappy. And I sympathize???

They are characters so different from each other, it's crazy how the same author who creates the merciful, religious and God-fearing Bishop Charles-François-Bienvenu Myriel, creates Grantaire too and so many other characters with such different and profound personalities.

Grantaire has such a skeptical view of life (see everything from a negative dogmatism point of view, that is, his justice about things is always conditioned by a feeling of disbelief, do not confuse with questioning, in the skeptic there is a surly, bitter, unproductive denial – people like that are usually pessimistic). This is described in the book as: "Grantaire was a man who took good care not to believe in anything." He's not genuinely a person contrary to those around him, his cynicism isn't an act of provocation towards his peers only, but really how he views life and the world.

In the book: “He was ironical and cordial. His indifference loved. His mind could get along without belief, but his heart could not get along without friendship”.

And too, he says :

“Gentlemen, my father always hated me because I could never be a mathematician. And here, too, I don't understand your love of freedom and the republic! I'm just Grantaire, the good guy! As I never had money, I never got used it, and therefore I never lacked it; however, if I were rich, there would be no poor people, you would see! Oh, if good hearts were the ones with good fortunes, it would be different and things would go along a different path! Why, imagine Jesus Christ, with the Rothschild fortune! What good would he do!(…)”

“In fact, this circumstance has just confirmed my conjectures about the situation of God's fortune, and judging by so many poverties that already exist up there and down here, in view of so much misery in everything, I suspect that God does not it's very rich there. There is appearance, it is true, but one knows the poverty that is hidden. Oh, by all the saints on Olympus and by all the gods in Heaven, I wasn't born to be a Parisian, I was born for the easy life, but that's not how anyone's life is. In view of this I will drink more. The earth is absurd. Oh, old world, old world! You are the vile vessel of demoralization, deprivation, prostitution, ambition, ineptitude!” And Grantaire, after this burst of eloquence, had a burst of coughing, which he deserved.

“My friends, I hate the human species! (...) I think it is time to clarify the human being. But here comes sadness to take possession of me again!"

"Oh my God! Morality is something that does not exist in this world! Oh, what in this world goes birds of prey! Almost all are bad eagles! So many that I am afraid of them. So, don't believe in anything. The only reality is drinking. Whatever your opinion, it doesn't matter, it's all about drinking!". This was his axiom: "There is but one certainty, my full glass."

Grantaire, completely intoxicated, stunned the ears of those around him, in one of the corners, disagreeing in a thunderous voice and shouting: “I am thirsty. Mortals, here is my desire: I wanted to drink, because I want to forget life. Life is a hideous invention by I don't know who. Something that lasts nothing and is worth nothing; and we kill each other to live. Life is a frame about to come crashing down. Happiness, a panel painted only on one side. Ecclesiastes says that all is vanity. It is a pity that I am ignorant, otherwise I would quote you an immensity of things; but I don't know anything. I used to be gifted when I was in art class, but there are so many vices in virtue…” Bossuet tried to shut him up and Joly said “don't give Grantaire any more wine, he ends up this penniless and a little mad”, but R kept going at the top of his lungs “Who gave you such a right without my permission? And too much, I'm sad. What do you want you to say? Man is bad, man is deformed, miserable, infamous, melancholic... and I am angry, enraged, bored, I can only open my mouth, I feel dead, I feel stupid (...)”

"wine, mediocre source of dreams. Grantaire was an adventurous drinker of dreams. In the first glasses Grantaire, his prodigious joy appeared; then he reached this dismal (macabre) phase, a fearful intoxication, half-opened in front of him, instead of making him stop, it attracted him. He had left education aside and had left the cup, drinking from the bottle. The measure is the abyss. Having no opium at hand (used as a narcotic, taking the person into a stupor rather than anesthesia), nor hashish (cannabis extract used as a narcotic), and wanting to fill his brain with twilight, he had resorted to the dreadful mixture of brandy, beer and absinthe, which produces terrible lethargy (unconsciousness). It is from the three vapours, beer, brandy, absinthe, that the lead of his soul is composed. And his darkness is three: Nightmare, Night, Death, fluttering over his sleeping psyche".

“However, this sceptic had one fanaticism. This fanaticism was neither a dogma, nor an idea, nor an art, nor a science; it was a man: Enjolras. Grantaire admired, loved, and venerated Enjolras. To whom did this anarchical scoffer unite himself in this phalanx of absolute minds? To the most absolute. In what manner had Enjolras subjugated him? By his ideas? No. By his character. A phenomenon which is often observable. A sceptic who adheres to a believer is as simple as the law of complementary colors. That which we lack attracts us. No one loves the light like the blind man. Grantaire, in whom writhed doubt, loved to watch faith soar in Enjolras. He had need of Enjolras. That chaste, healthy, firm, upright, hard, candid nature charmed him, without his being clearly aware of it, and without the idea of explaining it to himself having occurred to him.”

One might almost say that affinities begin with the letters of the alphabet. In that sequence, O and P are inseparable. You might just as well say O and P as Orestes and Pylades.

"A true satellite of Enjolras, Grantaire lived within this circle of young men (les amis de l'ABC). He dwelt among them, only with them was he happy, he followed them everywhere. His pleasure was to watch these figures come and go in a wine-induced haze. They put up with him because of his good humour. In his belief, Enjolras looked down on this sceptic; and in his sobriety, on this drunkard. He spared him a little lordly pity. Grantaire was an unwanted Pylades. Always snubbed by Enjolras, spurned, rebuffed and back again for more, he said of Enjolras, ‘What marmoreal magnificence'."

"There are men who seem to be born to be the reverse, the obverse, the other side. They are Pollux, Patrocles, Nisus, Eudamidas, Ephestion, Pechmeja. They only exist on condition that they are backed up with another man; their name is a sequel, and is only written preceded by the conjunction and; and their existence is not their own; it is the other side of an existence which is not theirs. Grantaire was one of these men. He was the obverse of Enjolras".

[zorciarkrildrush]

Vampire hdb

So there's two DE things I keep rotating in my mind and one of them is elaborations on What Makes The Pale Wax And Wane, because I think the game and the book give us some insight we can play with and I want to add what I think on top of it, in addition to the existing wonderful essay. This one deserves a proper writeup and I'm gleefully procrastinating.

THE OTHER ONE HOWEVER WHICH I CANNOT LEAVE UNSAID AT ALL is Vampire HDB.

To be fair it started with a more general "what if there's a vampire inner layer to the RCM not a lot of people - including within the RCM, including Harry - know about, but there's good reasons people are afraid of the cops and it's not just the usual". Harry finds out, chases increasingly offputting cases where a likely suspect is a well-placed officer, and so on.

But for the past week I've been thinking of a vampire hdb. What I'm thinking is, this is something that happened around the same time as the bender. He wakes up with a classic transformation hangover. We don't even have to decide he's magically cured of brain damage and other pains - vampirism could preserve him as he is and only prevent further injury. Another option is that the curse will heal him in all ways, even neurological, but only eventually and with enough nutrition and adequate slumber and so on.

So this lead me to several fun thoughts about the game, as a vampire Harrier:

(By the way during the course of this I'm gonna refer to we and you kind of interchangeably. It just means you or I as players of the game. This is a side effect of rambling.)

We can run around in daytime as usual. Any discomfort we experience early on is attributed to the bender, so Harry doesn't think of it as very strange. Even after the reveal, the game doesn't actively stop us from going around in sunlight and only uses narrative means to dissuade us. I'm basing this on hdb being perfectly capable of running around after getting shot in the leg (and possibly the shoulder as well) - obviously there was a gameplay consideration here but hey, this is one too. There's 2-3 other points where the game encourages walking, but ZA/UM didn't feel like mechanically punishing us for running anyway and I don't feel like it either. I feel like some narrative punishments can include skill disadvantages, Kim uneasily suggesting you open an umbrella or wear shades (a classic for hangovers!), or just take it easy in general during the daytime. Also, maybe the night doesn't cap out 02:00 anymore, and the suggestions to pack it in for the night also come later than usual. Waking up is… maybe no longer at 0730? Volition will be disappointed. Then again the vow was to do so until you die, is it really truly relevant anymore?

Obviously this affects the investigation - who knows what you really are and archly hints at it? The Smoker? Evrart? Who dismisses the concept out of hand as fantasy? Joyce? Are the cryptozoologists actually extremely skeptic of the concept, and attribute it to Harry's generally confused demeanor? Is Pryce the one who turned you, hypnotizing you to forget it before sending you to Martinaise?

Are there other vampires, or different creatures of the night around Martinaise? Can we finally meet the Mysterious Eyes, when the night is darkest?

Can we finally eat the rich? Or at least say we want to, as good socialists should, and do we distress our environment with our violence a-la roughing up the lorry driver?

I also thought of a sliding scale between the desire for humanity and morals (not to be confused with moralism) vs the vampiric instinct. Obviously this is tracked in-game via a score called good vampire / bad vampire. To me this can affect the sensitivity to anti-vampiric implements - one of the approaches I like best is that the sun is harmful to vampires not because of UV, but because it's seen as a force of celestial good and illuminates the vampire's sins, of which they are so ashamed they experience physical pain. Having to be invited into places (another hilarious narrative option) also has to do with this - the vampire wants to make their victim bring disaster upon themselves with the invitation. I was thinking as you slide further into darkness, you must become less and less ashamed of what you are. With a person like hdb, where shame is already a massive issue, I can't help but wonder how this score can manifest, and how the skills will react with various scores and in different interactions. This of course brings me to -

Skills! Let's talk skills, I've been dying to talk about the skills all day. Logic, Empathy and maybe Esprit De Corps - I want to say, these stay kind of normal to begin with, but they do suffer if you slide more and more into darkness. Rhetoric, Visual Calculus, Authority, Suggestion - these always benefit from being a vampire (unless challenged with anti-vampiric implements, maybe) Drama, Inland Empire - insanely high. Off their rocker. Drama quotes deliriously from works such as The Vampire Lestat, IE is conjuring entirely new concepts of what it means to live in the garden of savage beauty that is your mind. All the motorics are higher. That one's a given. Phys. Instrument, pain threshold, and endurance - also boosted, not much to say. Vampires are strong and fast and can tolerate much more than humans, when they aren't staked through the heart.

Finally, there are 4 more skills worth mentioning. Half Light, for all intents and purposes, is your vampiric instinct to feed. The cornered beast. It hates what it's doing, but at the same time - what it wants is survival. It has to do it. When pressed by hunger or whatever else, it will push you to kill and eat. Electrochem is also deeply vampiric. To the newly formed vampire, the world is beautiful. Scents are magnetic. The taste of fresh prey is almost carnal. It wants you to partake of everything. Permission is granted. God is in his heaven.

But there's two skills who aren't as supportive of bad vampire actions. Volition is always Harry's moral support. Volition always wants Harry to do the right thing. The more Harry tiptoes into darkness, I want to say Volition grows wearier, and sadder, and Volition checks start getting worse and worse. If there's one skill that might convince us as players to steer clear of being a total monster, it will be Volition.

And there's Shivers. I think the spirit of Revachol knows what you are. I think the spirit of Revachol loves you, as it loves everyone in Revachol, but it also knows you are a blight upon it. It will try and dissuade you. It will try to humanize whoever you stalk. It will remind you you have a part to play, much grander than this. But if you disregard it, it will have to find another champion. It will blow away, and for all intents and purposes, Harry can be abandoned entirely by it.

[dragongutsixofficial]

Thoughts on Byleth (or perhaps Siyn in your case?) being a dragon?

One of my personal favorite AU concepts. I have yet to find a way to fit them into the main body of my work, but I do try to keep some Dragon!Byleth head cannons tucked away for a rainy day. Watching the daily goings-on of the students and villagers from the monastery roof, for example.

I tend to write Byleth as being incredibly watchful over her students, so writing her as being a dragon fits right in for me.

We were robbed.

As someone who has Nabatean blood and who was meant to be the reincarnation of the Goddess herself, any and all flavor of Byleth deserve to have their draconic form. To me, this is due to their very nature: they are both human and Nabatean, both mortal and divine. They are what I affectionately call Byleth interminatum. And philosophical matters aside, it makes sense that they'd at least have a partially draconic form due to genetics, much like Corrin in FE: Fates. To me the question is, when and how would it first manifest ?

First off, I don't think it'd depend on Byleth being fused with Sothis, because whether they might have:

given up their divine powers by rejecting the identity they feel is pushed on them in Crimson Flower, ie being Sothis

not fused with her yet

They are still just as Nabatean! I don't discriminate between Byleth-s, and they are equally beautiful in each and every route. So if Byleth's draconic form doesn't depend on Sothis fusing with them, how does it work ?

My guess is, while they would have always had something going on (let's say, for instance, pupils that look a little too much like reptilian slits or weird acne butons that just won't go away but are really just sparse scales), they would need to experience some big emotional shock, or to be stuck in a seemingly hopeless situation, in order to have that first thing that would make them transform. In which case, they would not have had any time to prepare nor process whatever the fuck is going on. I'm thinking of a few things that could trigger their inner dragon to come out:

Jeralt dying. Byleth just loses it and transforms. They are completely out of control and confused and need their respective house leader, and perhaps their fellow students, to calm them down. Can make for a very emotional bonding moment where they can share their own experiences of grief- for instance, Ashe, who has just lost Lonato. Basically help them through the shock.

A joyous circumstance. The emotional shock they go through doesn't have to stem from a negative emotion ! Since their character development is made through their ability to love, it'd make sense that a feeling of connection and happiness would help them unlock that part of themself. For instance, winning the mock battle of the Eagle and Lion with their newfound family; getting Seteth to open up to them; or simply meeting up with their favorite student at the Goddess' Tower.

Fusing with Sothis. As I said before, I don't think it would be a requirement, but in case they had truly never transformed before, the immense shock to their organism would be preeeeeetty sure to turn the scales on.

So, basically, my guess is their first transformation would be likely to happen pre-timeskip, and since they wouldn't have seen anything coming, they would not know what to do with themself.

That's when Rhea comes in. I think she would have suspected that this was a possibility, albeit a slim one before Sothis took over if her efforts bore fruits. But Byleth isn't Sothis, and this would be their first draconic rodeo: as such, she would be of capital help for them to get the hang of it. I'm not sure how she'd be able to justify how knowledgeable on turning into a giant dragon she is, but she'd probably find a way. She would be the one to help Byleth wind down enough that they can transform back into their human body (if they can turn back) and to start discreetly teaching them how to use this newfound side of themself to the best of their abilities. That would also definitely get her hopes up regarding Sothis' revival.

This means that Byleth would greatly benefit from their fellow Nabateans' guidance in order to get the gist of their draconic form. In SS, AM and VW, Seteth and Flayn's guidance, and later Rhea's, would help them ease into it- and let's be honest here, Flayn would absolutely love to teach her professor stuff. In CF however ? Things would be more complicated (this is going to allow me to talk about Siyn, who is my own version of CF!Byleth, my Bylethsona if you will !).

In CF, Byleth would lose contact with the people most adequate to teach them what they need to know. They would have to essentially figure it out by themself, which would... not always be pretty. There would be a lot of trial and error involved. However. Byleth being a dragon would grant Edelgard the Most Amazing Marketing Opportunity™ (thought of you @ninadove): that of making the people doubt whether Sothis really is on the side of the Church. Sure, the Immaculate One appeared in the battle of Garreg Mach but, isn't this other big *ss dragon a sign that the Goddess favors the Empire ? They would literally become the Wings of the Hegemon.

In the other routes, of course, Byleth being a dragon would definitely sway the religious people of Fodlan over to their respective army's side.

I am now going to make a quick tangent here and talk about Siyn, whom I'm really glad you mentioned ! ^^ When I developed her, I really wanted to dive a little more into what it meant for Byleth to reject the role that Rhea wanted to impose on them in CF. In particular, Siyn struggles a lot with her sense of bodily autonomy: this starts when her physical appearance is altered by Sothis fusing with her and only goes crescendo with what follows. Basically, she doesn't really know how much of her really is her and how much of her is someone else- as such, she starts out by refusing to use her divine powers which she feels might chip away at her individuality. Her character arc revolves around accepting and using all parts of herself equally- stepping into both her mortal and individual self. I kind of feel that if she were a dragon, she would have a psychological block and wouldn't be able to transform until she made peace with herself. This might happen to CF! Byleth in general, although I did dive more into that precise aspect of things than the game does.

As for their physical appearance, I do think that it'd be incredibly cool that after their first transformation, Byleth keeps some draconic characteristics. For instance, white scales on their weak zones like their necks on something. Their nails grow sharper now. Their eyes most definitely look reptilian. If they're fancy, maybe one or two baby horns. Maybe said horns grow bigger as their power grows. Also, you are absolutely right, Byleth as a dragon goes incredibly well with their being protective of their students. They would most definitely keep an eye out for them from the roof of Garreg Mach. Their treasure has always been their class, after all.

I also have a feeling that Byleth being a dragon would drastically help Marianne feel better about her own "curse" ! They would also, obviously, occasionally take Claude on a ride. Just imagine a Claudeleth wedding where Claude rolls in on a giant dragon and then said dragon turns into their spouse-to-be. The ultimate power move. In SS, Byleth displaying their draconic form as the new archbishop would most definitely help Rhea show herself as the Immaculate One a lot more, instead of hiding that part of herself. There would be chivalrous legends of the mystical dragon which lent its support to the Savior King in AM. In Crimson Flower, the tale of the sinner Emperor who convinced the Goddess to come to her aid would help tremendously in pacifying Fodlan, discrediting the central Church, scaring the fuck out of TWSTID and laying the groundwork for the reforms to come.

So, yeah ! Sorry if my answer isn't as complete as it should or if it's just incoherent ramblings- the idea is incredibly cool but I had never dived into it that deep before ! =) Also:

[transandrobroism]

Re: transmisogyny, I agree with your analysis of how people are reading implications into statements that aren't necessarily what anyone is truly implying, and I understand the desire to see these things in good faith (especially when anything aside from that is viewed as hostility). And I do think that your post encapsulates the mentality of people who ARE engaging in these discussions in good faith.

However, as somebody who has been studying how the discourse operates for the past couple of years, I want to caution you about seeing people's motivations through that solely good faith lens. I wanted to believe that most people engaging in the discourse were doing so because they truly believed the points they were arguing for, and I did for a while, but I have had too many experiences that directly contradict that.

I don't think all, or even most, of the people in The Discourse are acting maliciously; especially smaller accounts who are joining in after seeing rhetoric spread by the big name influencers in trans radfem spaces. But a lot of these big name influencers definitely are acting with manipulative and malicious intent at least SOME of the time. Many of them are aware of the exact phenomenon you've identified because they are the ones who initially created it and encouraged the misunderstandings to develop. They saw the opportunity to misconstrue arguments in a way that would benefit them (because it allows them to feel like they've "won" arguments) and deliberately acted in a way that would give off the impression that they are genuinely misunderstanding despite knowing exactly what you meant to begin with.

Part of how I know this is because, in private conversations and certain posts of the bigger trans radfem influencers, they CORRECTLY directly outline the arguments we all have for why trans mascs deserve language to describe our experiences. They correctly identify how we're oppressed. Many of them have post histories that predate their descent into radfeminism where they directly supported trans mascs and show great understanding of the suffering we face (I don't see their followers really doing this, mainly it seems that their followers really do believe the misconstrued rhetoric). In more recent posts, you see the shift to "but trans women's issues are the most important so trans mascs are allowed to be collateral damage".

These people are not dumb. They know what they're doing. Be careful with who you choose to expend energy for, because any of those larger accounts will only manipulate and run you around in circles. They take people's words out of context on purpose because they want you to feel incompetent, as if you're just not speaking clearly. It makes you doubt your ability to speak and make an argument clearly because you keep running into misunderstandings and naturally assume you're doing something wrong. In reality, you probably aren't. They're just choosing to give the worst interpretation of what you say & opportunistically looking for the most plausibly deniable way they can spin a false narrative.

hey, thanks for the insight and the advice, i appreciate folks looking out for me. it means a lot.

i believe you're right about the underlying motives of people involved in this sort of discourse. i didn't address the motives behind these lines of argument in the post because in a way it doesn't matter why people make those arguments. they're flawed regardless of intentions. but i have often suspected that the underlying motive is to deliberately obscure the distinction between talking about tma/tme, transmisogyny-as-framework vs. talking about transmisogyny as a set of experiences. sometimes the interchangeable use of different meanings isn't genuine confusion. it's just a bait and switch.

tbh i wrote that post mostly as a tapable sign that outlines my position on these terms and why i won't use tma/tme or talk about transmasc experiences through a lens of transmisogyny. i'm hoping it'll save me the energy of getting into longwinded discussions with bad-faith actors. i can just tap the sign and go "i'm talking about transmisogyny-as-framework, you're talking about transmisogyny-as-phenomena, there's a difference" and move on.

but mostly i made it to help other people understand why these circular arguments happen and why they go nowhere and suddenly you're getting called a transmisogynist because you don't want to put TME in your bio etc etc. i believe firmly that the trans community is stronger united and that we don't need to be at each other's throats about this stuff, so the post is not accusatory and makes no assumptions about ulterior motives. because i do believe that a lot of people are regurgitating talking points they've picked up from "big blogs" who have told them "if anyone denies the utility of tma/tme they're a transmisogynist MRA!!"

i like to think that people can course-correct from doing that, and my door is open to that. but yeah, sometimes people are obfuscating on purpose because they're pushing some kind of baeddel-esque transfem-separatist agenda and that sucks.

[enbyjane]

I just want to talk about Grace.

Found this thing I said a while ago to a friend within the fandom, and I've been thinking about Grace for a while in these past few days

I feel like Grace got the short stick in terms of characterization, out of everyone from the show.

Regardless of how much everyone agrees that Grace is such a badass and awesome character, very kind and considerate and ambitious and so many more traits...She does not have a lot of depth as a character.

I'm sorry to all Grace's fans, I know it sounds pretty harsh. But at least that's my impression.

I don't even really know how to elaborate. But I'll try.

I don't mean that Grace is shallow or empty. She really has such fantastic lines, particularly within the first seasons. I mean that Grace is never really allowed to step past the "romance girl" role in the show.

I think it is a known thing within the fandom that Heller hasn't intended to make Jane and Lisbon a couple from the beginning. But he knew that romance drama sells. And it's quite clear from episode 1 that Grace and Wayne are planned to be a couple.

That's their role, to provide romance drama.

The thing is, Wayne also provides the comedic effect, usually paired with Cho, but by himself as well. (I'm not gonna say he's the clown because that's rude but you know what I mean)

Grace however? Has no further role. And it becomes further obvious when she and Rigsby break up. Her reason for breaking up is that she does value her job more than Rigsby (at least at that point) and she doesn't want him to end up resenting her for making him move away. She is also very adamant to join in on field missions and interrogating suspects and whatnot. You could glean from this that she is ambitious and cares about her career, right? Right.

Well, this never goes anywhere. Soon enough she meets some other guy whom she dates briefly (and who tries to murder Jane, but that's nothing new) and there's more Rigsby pining and Rigspelt drama. And then she meets Craig, with whom she has a serious relationship and almost marries (and who again is a homicidal guy helping a maniac. I think they made her only date homicidal maniacs just to show Rigsby in a fantastic light compared to them). The only time we actually see her do something for her career - which she shows that she cares about - is when she goes to that Hacking Program School Thingy or whatever it was and she returns with? *Drumrolls* A boyfriend!! (Who really is just a foil for more Rigsby pining I can't even remember his name)

Sure she is a great hacker and she is good with computers but this is never really explored.

And talking about things being explored...

Look at this!! "Deep trauma in your past that you haven't spoken of to anyone, not even yourself..." And well she continues not speaking of to anyone, not even herself!! This is never mentioned again!

Sure, sure, you can imply that it's the possible suicide of someone in the family that is the deep trauma. But the truth is that we don't know. We simply don't know.

The only things we see her truly grapple with is the PTSD from Craig's betrayal. And that's not a bad thing, nor a bad story, except that it doesn't really get anywhere in the end. It affects her on the moment. We don't really see which conclusions she's made from that situation. Although, perhaps, we can deduce that she is less trusting of people than she used to be.

The saddest thing is that we did have something that the writers could've used. They never did. They never really went anywhere with Vizualize either - there was a short moment when you were wondering if Grace was going to fall in the Vizualize trap, but, like most of her history, that was cut before it was really started. (I'm not saying that I wanted her to fall into the cult necessarily, but it would have been interesting to be explored more in depth)

I don't really have a conclusion here. Just that she deserved better. We never really see the conclusion of her PTSD with Craig either, apart from asking Jane what to do with her necklace. (and then keeping it, if I remember right). I would've liked to see her more mistrustful, or more conversations about that, or at least go to therapy to deal with that, if they wanted to get rid of the plotline. (though again, she's a wonderful character that deserved more)