#I'm tired so it's time to lay down again until my meds are ready at the pharmacy

[peachydinosaur]

i was very brave at the heart doctor and turns out! i sure do have pots!! dude that undiagnosed me didn't know what he was talking about bc my new heart doctor, who used to specialize in pots, says 'yeah this tilt table test absolutely shows pots' so. fuck that last doctor. my heart doesn't work normal and it sucks and makes my life hard and this doctor was like 'yeah your heart isn't behaving normally, let's get you on medications and make adjustments and actually treat this' which was so validating. super embarrassing to start crying in the doctor's office but what can ya do. my heart doesn't work right and we can do something about it.

[stardust-and-snickerdoodles]

tired and i'm awake

fandom: Chicago Med

pairing: Connor Rhodes x Reader

summary: You've kept your chronic pain a secret from Connor since you started dating. But fate has other plans for you, and an untimely accident leads to him finding out about your condition.

tags/warnings: angst, injury, burns, hurt/comfort, chronic pain/illness

word count: 3024

a/n: this one's for all my EDS/POTS combo girlies

When you were young, the doctors said it was “growing pains.” That eventually it would go away, that it was only temporary, take an Advil.

Then you got older, and it was your period. Even though the pain was constant and all over, somehow every doctor put it down to your cycle. Sure, it was worse when you were menstruating, but it didn’t disappear when you weren’t.

Sometimes, you were “making it up” or “drug seeking.” ER visits, annual physicals, all proved fruitless. Eventually, it was all just too much to handle. The constant doctors’ visits, the unending questions with no answers. You’re tired.

Even when you lay on the bathroom floor, curled around yourself and sobbing, you refuse to go to the doctor. You know it won’t amount to anything, just another bill and insurance paperwork. You manage on your own with 3 extra strength Tylenol or a heating pad or just laying in bed until it mostly subsides. Then you can get up and pretend to be okay again.

So, it was a bit of a surprise to everyone who knows of your issues when you started dating a surgeon. Hell, you even surprised yourself. But Connor is… different. He’s kind and understanding and patient. Still, your previous negative experiences prevent you from telling him about the chronic pain you experience, or any of the other problems that come along with it.

You’ve been dating now for about six months and you couldn’t be happier. Connor’s hours are busy and long, but you look forward to the end of every day when you can see him. Even if it means putting on a brave face when your joints ache. You moved in together about a month ago, and it’s a little harder to hide the pain now, but you manage. You don’t want to be just another patient for him to deal with.

Today, you have a feeling it’s going to be a little more difficult to put on your façade. Your knees and hips have been acting up lately. Everything feels… a bit looser than usual, like the tissues between your joints are made of thin string, ready to break at any movement. Each movement feels as though you’re going to rip yourself apart, limb from limb. It’s all you can do not to cry out when you finally pry yourself out of bed in the morning. Connor is already gone, having left sometime in the middle of the night, off to work his shift at the ED. You hope beyond hope that the pain will have subsided by the time he gets home tonight.

You hope that maybe a warm bath with some Epsom salts will help, and take short, shuffling steps to the bathroom, walking near the wall just in case. Each footfall sends shooting pain up your legs. You grit your teeth and manage to make it to the toilet, sitting down and reaching to turn the tap on the bath. Breathing in and out slowly, you remind yourself that you have this under control. You will survive this, it’s just pain. It’s just pain.

You stare as the tub fills with water, trying your best to compartmentalize and clear the pain away. Mind over matter, that’s what your mother always says. Easy for her, when she’s not the one in pain.

Feeling as though you might break with any sudden moves, you lower yourself into the warm bath, closing your eyes as the water surrounds you. It’s calming and smells like eucalyptus.

You linger until the water is cooled and your joints begin to protest from staying in one position too long. You wrap a fluffy robe around yourself, a gift from Connor after he saw the old ratty one you’d been using for years. It’s luxurious and soft, and probably cost him the equivalent of an entire week’s salary for you. Perks of dating a surgeon, you suppose.

Just standing has you feeling lightheaded, and you can feel your heart beating in your ears. For a moment the room darkens as spots fill your vision, but you just breathe in deeply until it subsides. Then you continue to take small steps back out to the bedroom, before placing yourself gingerly on the comforter.

Once you’re still and laying down, the pain begins to creep back in with force. It just reminds you that as much as you want to, you can’t ignore it. You can compartmentalize and convince yourself all you want, but you’re stuck with this.

Now, along with your hips and knees, your back and neck have begun to ache from sitting upright in the tub. You sigh and curl onto your side, your wet hair clinging to your neck. Five minutes, you tell yourself. Then I’ll get up and get dressed and dry my hair and… God, it’s all so much. How are you ever supposed to get all of that done when you feel like this? Still, you reprimand yourself and promise only five minutes of rest. Just until the aching diminishes somewhat.

You wake to the sound of the door unlocking. Night has fallen outside the window, leaving the apartment bathed in darkness.

So much for five minutes.

Connor walks in, looking tired and worn out, but still wearing a smile when he spots you curled up on the bed. You smile back, still groggy from your extended nap.

“Hey sweetheart,” he murmurs, setting his bag down before taking a seat next to you. “How was your day?”

“Good,” you lie easily. “How was work?”

Connor smooths some errant hairs away from your forehead before placing a soft kiss there. “Busy. But good. Did you shower? Your hair’s still wet.”

A fierce blush makes its way up your cheeks as you avoid his eyes. “Took a bath. I guess I just passed out after. Baths always take it out of me,” you half-joke.

Connor’s brow furrows and you can immediately sense the switch into “doctor mode.” He places the back of his hand on your forehead again. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” you reassure, pulling his hand down to your lips to plant a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “Do you want dinner? I can make something.” The ache in your joints begins to make itself known again, but you want to do something nice for Connor. You know how tired he is after his shifts.

“Sure,” Connor replies, but he’s still looking at you with concern.

You slowly sit up, trying to school your expression as something pinches in your hip. “Spaghetti? I think we have some noodles leftover from the other night; I can just make a quick sauce.”

Connor nods and stands with you. “I’m gonna go shower,” he states while pulling you into a loose hug. “Do you need anything before I go?”

You shake your head and breathe him in. He smells like the hospital, but underneath that is the gentle scent of his cologne that always relaxes you. “No, you go. I can handle it.”

Connor releases you and makes his way to the bathroom while you head to the kitchen. You feel incrementally better than this morning, the pain in your back and neck thankfully lessened. Your hips are the worst now, and the right one especially feels tenuous. Each step is shaky, but you push through it.

You’re grateful for the distraction of cooking as you work on dinner, but it’s not enough to totally take away the pain. As you stand over the stove you can still feel the pulsing in your knees, the unsteadiness in your hips, and the ache in your back is returning. You barely suppress a groan as your right hip nearly gives out.

Seconds later, the door to the bathroom opens, and Connor exits with just a pair of jeans slung low on his hips. For a moment you’re tempted to stop cooking altogether and take him right back to bed. But then your right hip protests yet again, and the thought quickly flees. You shoot Connor a smile as he comes up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist. His chin rests on your shoulder and you tense imperceptibly. Illogical as it may seem, you’re worried maybe he’ll… feel your pain or something, if he gets too close.

“Smells good,” Connor murmurs, kissing the side of your neck.

“Grab some plates,” you reply, stirring the spaghetti sauce one more time before turning off the heat.

Connor’s arms leave you and you let out a breath. You grab some potholders from a nearby cabinet and pull the sauce off the stove.

As you make your way over to the table, your hip begins to feel even more unsteady than before. Each step is agony as you grip the saucepot, praying that your leg doesn’t give out now. Connor’s back is to you when suddenly you step wrong. Instantly, you feel a popping sensation in your hip and you stumble.

The pot goes flying, splattering sauce all over you and the kitchen. You crumble to the floor, a short cry leaving your lips. The sauce burns your thighs, uncovered thanks to the robe you still wear, but all you can feel is the burning pain in your hip. It feels… wrong.

It’s not exactly a new experience. A few years ago – with no help from your doctors – you finally realized that this type of pain means something is dislocated. In this case, your hip. It’s one of the worst to dislocate, since you have trouble getting it back in place on your own.

Connor immediately rushes toward you, calling your name in panic. “Are you okay? Oh god, what happened?”

You grit your teeth to stop from crying out again as you right yourself with your leg out in front of you. Your hand grips your right thigh, the pain from your dislocated hip shooting down your leg and making your toes numb.

Connor’s already pulling out his phone to call 911, obviously only seeing the burns on your legs from the hot sauce.

You reach out to grab his wrist to stop him from dialing. “I’m fine,” you insist, tears brimming in your eyes.

Connor levels you with a glare that would make anyone give in. “You just spilled scalding sauce all over yourself. You’re at least getting checked out at the ED.”

“Okay, okay, but… Can’t you just drive me?”

He must hear the pleading tone in your voice because he sets his phone down with a sigh. “Fine,” he surrenders. “Let’s get you cleaned up first so I can take a look.”

You nod as he stands to retrieve towels. Once his back is turned, you take mental stock of your hip. It doesn’t feel too badly dislocated, but it certainly needs to be put back sooner rather than later. Before you get a chance to do it yourself, Connor returns with wet towels. He immediately gets to work gingerly cleaning your skin. You can tell that you’ve at least got first-degree burns, maybe even second in some places. But you can’t get past the pain in your hip. If you could just get a moment alone so you could reset it…

You notice that Connor’s movements have stopped and you look to see what he’s doing. His brows are furrowed as he looks at your right leg, now clean of the sauce. “Doesn’t look too bad, but I still want to go to Med just to be sure. And…” Suddenly his eyes widen and his hands rest delicately on either side of your leg. You can’t help but flinch at the touch. “It looks like your hip is dislocated… God, that must hurt. Did you hit it on the ground when you fell?”

You bite your lip and shake your head. “It’s nothing,” you insist.

“Y/N,” Connor’s voice is firm. “We need to get this reduced. I’m calling an ambulance,” he says, pulling out his phone once more.

“No!” you cry. “I can take care of it!” Before he can stop you, you bend your knee outward, making a half-butterfly shape with your legs, then push down on it with your hands. Your hip pops back into place with an audible click and the relief is instant.

Connor is silent for a long moment as he stares at you, mouth agape.

You speak before he can, blabbering without much sense. “It’s fine, it happens a lot. I’m okay, I promise.”

Your boyfriend’s eyes are wide with concern and empathy. “What do you mean?” he whispers.

You shrug and take the wet towel from his hand, continuing to wipe off the sauce from your other thigh. This one’s not as bad as your right, but it’s still painful. “Nothing, Connor. I just… It happens sometimes, okay? Dislocating things, it’s not new to me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Connor’s voice is so full of hurt that you immediately regret keeping this from him.

“I don’t know,” you murmur, meeting his eyes. The tears in your own begin to fall down your cheeks. “I just… I’ve always dealt with it on my own. I didn’t want you to have to deal with it too. And I didn’t know if you’d believe me, no one ever believes me, and I didn’t want to lose you because of my broken body…” You’re rambling now, the adrenaline and pain making your words come out jumbled.

Connor scoots over to sit next to you, uncaring of the sauce that’s getting on his jeans. His arm wraps around you gently, and already you can feel that he’s treating you differently. Touching you like you’re… fragile. “Y/N… I would never not believe you about something like this. Have you gone to the doctor about it?”

A sob leaves your lips and you smile sarcastically. “Of course, I have, Connor. I’ve been to so many doctors and none of them have any answers. It’s always growing pains, or my period, or I’m faking it. Eventually I just gave up because, like I said, I can deal with it on my own.”

Connor is silent for a long while. Finally, he lifts your chin with his finger so you’re forced to meet his eyes. “You don’t have to deal with it on your own now. We’re together, and that means we tell each other these things. I won’t leave you because of something you can’t control, sweetheart. And I want you to find answers. We can find them together. Okay?”

You nod and Connor goes to dial 911 again. As he’s on the phone with the operator, you let the tears fall. The pain of the burns is finally hitting you, only adding to the existing pain you already feel. Connor’s words mean everything to you, but right now that’s all they are – words. How can you know he’ll stay with you after he finds out what this really is like? The constant pain, the days spent in bed, the agony of it all? How could anyone – how could Connor – ever want someone like you?

You don’t realize that Connor is done on the phone until his hand lands on your shoulder. “Babe?” his voice is a little louder than necessary, which tells you that he’s been trying to get your attention for a while.

“Sorry,” you mutter, using the back of your hand to wipe away errant tears.

Connor takes a deep breath, and you worry about what he’s going to say. “You can talk to me, you know?”

You nod, avoiding his eyes. “I know. But this… I don’t want to be just another person you have to take care of.” The sound of sirens grows loud outside the apartment building.

“Honey. Look at me,” Connor urges, lifting your chin again. “You are not just another patient to me. You never will be. Okay?”

“You don’t know,” you whisper, your voice suddenly hoarse. “Once you know what it’s like, how much help I’ll need… I don’t know what my life will be like in 10 years, hell, even in a year. I’m in pain all the time, and I don’t know if it will get worse, and I don’t want you to be burdened with that.”

Before Connor can answer, the intercom buzzes as the paramedics request entrance. Connor stands to let them in, and you bring your sore legs up so you can bury your head in your knees. The embarrassment of it all is starting to hit you as you realize that soon you’ll be at Med, surrounded by Connor’s colleagues. No doubt he’ll want to run a myriad of tests to figure out your underlying condition, and you’re not sure you have the energy for that right now.

You hear the door opening, followed by a couple pairs of footsteps and Connor’s voice getting closer. “Female, 27, post-fall and contact with hot liquid. Superficial partial thickness burns on the thighs. Right hip dislocated but already reduced.” You hold in a snort at his medical jargon describing your silly accident.

The paramedics aren’t anyone you know, but they’re nice enough as they examine the burns and apply saline-soaked gauze. You’re embarrassed by your lack of proper clothing, but they don’t seem to mind. You’re sure they’ve seen worse than a nearly-naked woman anyway.

They ask various questions while Connor watches nearby, eyes slightly narrowed as if to make sure they don’t hurt you further. Once you’re finally loaded up onto a stretcher, he returns to your side and holds your hand in a crushing grip.

“This is really unnecessary,” you mutter at him, squeezing his hand.

Connor looks down at you with a soft smile. “Doctor knows best, sweetheart.” He plants a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Don’t worry, we won’t stay if you don’t want. As long as you get that hip x-rayed and those burns checked, I’ll be satisfied. We can figure out the rest later.”

You smile back, tears pricking your eyes again. “Thank you, Connor. For being here.”

He snorts out a laugh. “You really have to raise your standards, baby.”

[snowbaamgyu]

Helloooooo!!! So I don’t know if you already saw it but there was a MOA talking about how she unexpectedly met TXT at the airport and everyone was so nice and the members were so handsome she was super excited blah blah blah.. but she mentioned that while soobin, taehyun, yeonjun and huening had brought something to eat, beomgyu wasn't eating anything, soooo maybe you could write something about it like he caught a really bad flu the day before the trip or something and he was feeling dizzy and had a fever and throwing up a lot on the plane. Also if you want you can write the POV of the MOA that saw them 🫢 like “I was constantly watching them and noticed how soobin was taking beomgyu’s temperature and Kai was rubbing his stomach” idk something like that.. I just saw it and I immediately thought about all this, what do you think? 😊

Here it is!! I'm sorry it took so long, I hope you like it. (sorry I didn't come up with a good title)[also sorry that I didn't write for the "throwing up on the plane part" I finished writing it and didn't realize you wanted that 😭]

Up and down

"Hyung, do we have some medicine?"

Beomgyu asked Soobin as he approached the kitchen cabinet that contained medicines and vitamins, though he didn't know what medicine in specific he was searching.

"We do have, but what's wrong? what kind of medicine do you need?" Soobin was having some midday snack, they were all preparing their luggage for their trip the next day, it was still pretty early but better that than rush everything.

"Dunno. I don't feel well" Beomgyu was pouting, telling the truth. He felt off but didn't exactly know what's going on with his body.

"Maybe you're just tired or nervous, go lay down for a while and when lunch's ready I'll wake you, okay?" Soobin patted his head as he left his plate on the sink. Beomgyu did as told, he was indeed exhausted but he didn't do anything to feel like that at that hour of the morning.

He felt sleep slowly getting into him, and within a few minutes he was back in dreamland.

But those dreams were wrong, some bizarre images went through his head, everything felt too real but at the same time didn't make any sense; it was all a mixture of reality and dreams (or nightmares at that point), it was getting hard to breathe, everything felt so suffocating and the next second— a hand was shaking him awake.

"Beomgyu-ah, hey, what's wrong?" Soobin again, Beomgyu's chest hurt as he tried to breathe in order to calm himself down, his stomach was making some weird noises but not out of hunger, nausea was making its way too, bile rising through his throat but quickly being swallowed back down, a burning feeling as if he was being cooked alive, and– the final touch of that damn discomfort cocktail was: a dizzying headache.

Now he did know what was wrong and in what specific order.

"Gyu, breath with me please? it was just a bad dream, everything's fine, at count of three you'll follow my breathing okay? one... two... three... again, one... two... three..." they repeated that until Beomgyu could breathe normally again, he looked at Soobin with teary eyes.

"Hyung, I really don't feel good" Beomgyu drew his knees to his chest and rested his head there, Soobin just hummed. "I know, I think you have a fever, are you hurting somewhere else?"

Beomgyu nodded, "my head hurts, I'm dizzy and my stomach feels off" Soobin winced at that, they had a trip scheduled for tomorrow, they've known about it for a month now, but unfortunately Beomgyu fell sick right the day before it.

"You have to take some meds, but you need to eat at least something, and then tomorrow you can sleep on the plane too, you just have to make it through the check in at the airport" Beomgyu nodded a bit, just wanting to take something to feel better.

"Come and eat at least a little bit alright? then you can rest all day" it was true, Beomgyu had his luggage ready when he started noticing the odd feeling.

They both made their way to the kitchen where the rest of the boys were already sat and waiting for the two of them to start serving the food.

"Are you okay Beoms?" Yeonjun noticed his pale complexion and how quiet he was, of course he wasn't that happy tiny ball full of energy all the time, but he wasn't that quiet either. Said boy shook his head "no" and everyone looked at him.

"He's coming down with something so he's feeling a bit sick, hopefully it isn't that bad" Soobin was the one to answer, giving Beomgyu a pat on his back.

They continued their meal while Beomgyu slowly stopped eating, going even more pale, sweat gathering on his forehead. With a shaky hand clasped on his mouth he muttered a low "sorry" when he got up from the table and sprinted to the bathroom, locking the door and kneeling in front of the toilet, the food he just tried to keep down came back up, obviously totally undigested, burning his throat came another wave, for the third one it came with a choke and a coughing attack.

"Gyu, everything okay?" Yeonjun knocked on the door while everyone else cleaned up the table.

The younger responded with a weak "No..." and brought up more vomit.

"Soobin went to get you some medicine, Kai got your bed ready with a trashcan near, when you're done go to your room okay? Just if you need me I'll stay right here outside." And Yeonjun did what he said, standing there for almost half an hour when he heard the toilet finally being flushed and the faucet being turned on, then Beomgyu opened the door and looked even worse than before, Yeonjun was the one who caught him in his arms when the sick boy tried to let go of the grasp he had on the door.

"Hey, let's get you to bed alright? You can sleep this off the whole afternoon and night, tomorrow you'll be feeling better" the older reassured him, keeping an arm around his shoulder, if said arm was in touch with his sweaty frame then Yeonjun didn't mind.

When Beomgyu laid back down he immediately curled up into a ball, the fever messing with his body temperature, he was almost melting down but inside he felt all cold.

"Soobin got you some medicine, take this pill and try to sleep okay?" Yeonjun also didn't mind combing his fingers through his sweaty hair and helping Beomgyu with the glass of water when his shaky hands almost dropped it.

Yeonjun left his side when he was sure the younger was asleep, the rest of the group gathered in the living room.

"What do we do? He can't just skip this schedule, is so important!" Taehyun said with a worried tone, "I know, but we can't force him and the company also can't force him, he needs rest, not getting into a plane" Soobin was the one to answer, "I'll call our manager to see if we can do something, but it's most likely he'll have to come with us, get some IV on the hotel and rest a bit there".

The leader put the speaker on when their manager answered, they explained the situation as best as they could, the manager was also concerned but as they expected, Beomgyu had to go with them.

"Tomorrow's morning I'll get him to the clinic real quick, make him get some fluids and meds, then I'll drop him at your dorm so the car can get you boys to the airport, that's all I can do".

Okay, at least that calmed them down a bit, so they settled with that.

Beomgyu slept until midnight, when he woke up to drink some water, he still felt bad but not as bad as he did earlier, the headache was still there, tha nausea was gone but his stomach still hurt a bit, not to mention his fever went down for the time being. Maybe, just maybe, he could power through their trip.

A couple hours later his manager was shaking him awake, making Beomgyu once again notice his discomfort in full force. "Kiddo, wake up we have to go to get you checked up", Beomgyu opened one eye and everything began spinning again when he stood up, his manager helping him to put on some shoes, a hoodie, a mask, and hop into the car, not even bothering to change his pajamas or wash his face, feeling too sick for all that.

"How are you holding up?" as the ride went on, the manager asked after watching Beomgyu through the rear mirror, the boy looking pale, sweaty, with his eyes closed but after he opened at the sound of the other's voice he noticed his eyes were unfocused and hazy, probably the sleep or a new fever.

"Not about to die but hoping I do so, everything aches and spins" Beomgyu answered as he closed his eyes once again, some minutes later they arrived to the clinic and Beomgyu had to wake up again. He couldn't remember anything or focus, only answering when the doctor listed some possible symptoms he may have been experiencing and when he guessed right he just said a low "yes" and dissociated once again.

The doctor told him to lay down for a physical exam, aka touching his abdomen to rule out something that might need a surgery like appendicitis, sure after the ride Beomgyu was feeling a bit nauseated but after the doctor pressed certain spot he jumped with a gag, titling his head to the side and dry heaving, the doctor quickly put a container under his chin and another retch just brought up the water he had in the middle of the night.

After the incident Beomgyu fell asleep when he laid back down, the doctor explaining to the manager that he needed rest, it wasn't that big of a deal but after a bag of IV he could go on the trip.

A couple of hours later Beomgyu woke up, a nurse was putting a band aid where the needle was on his hand, his manager noticing he was awake went to his side and put a hand on his hair as if he were a puppy "How are you feeling Beomgyu-ah?" the latter just blinked twice and answered "Better than last night, but still not that good" his manager winced a bit, "You're still up for the trip? We can put up a statement saying that you're sick and couldn't make it" Beomgyu just shook his head no, he wanted to go, he really wanted to, so he would do anything in order for him to be with his members.

When he returned to the dorms everyone was waiting in the living room with their luggage, immediately they all looked up to him and smiled seeing him there, still a bit pale but he seemed well.

"How are you feeling Gyu? Are you feeling better?" Soobin asked as he reached for him, hugging him lightly. "Yes, I'm feeling better now, I slept well at the clinic" everyone smiled a bit, relieved that Beomgyu was doing okay.

"Alright, Beomgyu go grab your luggage and everyone please go ahead to the parking lot, the van is there."

They were halfway to the airport when Beomgyu started feeling a bit queasy again, luckily the van stopped at a gas station where the boys got food and water, not being able to stay there for long they took their food containers to the van and planned to eat at the airport, Beomgyu just grabbed a bottle of water and took small sips and deep breaths, not wanting to be so focused on the smell of food that lingered in the air, he was so relieved when they stopped at the airport. He was wearing a mask, Soobin and Taehyun too, the only ones without a mask were Yeonjun and Kai, so no one suspected Beomgyu was sick.

They moved without problems, not any crazy fans were there, they passed through the check in and went to the seats as they waited for their flight to call them, everyone started eating but Beomgyu just looked away, Kai placed a hand on his stomach and started rubbing it lightly, Beomgyu closed his eyes. Soobin reached for his forehead when he finished his meal, Beomgyu's forehead was a bit warm but not at an alarming rate. He didn't notice a moa who happened to be there as well, noticing that Beomgyu was the only one who wasn't eating and was rubbing his stomach, said moa connected the dots and aside from being excited to be able to see them so close, was also kinda worried about Beomgyu, but if he was sick then Hybe would put up a statement right?

Some minutes passed and they got up looking where was their plane, they didn't film a vlog this time, Beomgyu was thankful for that, he was ready to sleep through all the flight and hoped he felt better when they arrived.

The ride from the airport to their hotel was horrible, Beomgyu was still queasy but as they arrived to their hotel he went to sleep some more, and also Soobin went to his room to give him some medicines and explaining quickly their functions. Their first day there was for rest so the members would take turns to hang out with Beomgyu and take care of him when he felt nauseous or had to throw up, Yeonjun had to rub his back, Taehyun had to call the hotel cleaning service once when he couldn't make it, Kai rubbed his tummy as Beomgy had his head on the maknae's shoulder, Soobin once again making sure he took all his medicines on time and they also got him to eat something light, happy when his stomach didn't react in a bad way.

The next day Beomgyu was feeling better, the queasiness went away and his fever was gone as well, he took it with calm on the rehearsals for the concert but at the time the actual concert started he felt completely fine and gave an amazing performance as if nothing had happened, all with the help of his members.

[biscuitcupcakecinnamonroll]

God I want to tf my roommate so badly. I've been watching them come home so exhausted the past few months. When they first got here they were so excited and told me about all the things they were going to get up to now that they moved out from their ex's. Lately though all they've been talking about is the overtime they have to put in for a project at work. I've got it figured out though. If I can just transform them into a dog, I could give them a perfect little de-stresser weekend. I've been slowly filling their body up with magic. Ever since I've noticed their exhaustion, I've let the ambient magic in the apartment slowly seep into their body. It's been going on for a couple of months so far, they've got to be completely malleable by now.

I can wait. I think. I can't imagine it'll be long now. One night where they haven't gotten a chance for themselves. One night where I can trick them into laying down on the couch while I get them something. Need a glass of water for a new med you're taking? No problem Hon', lay down here. They wouldn't be able to resist falling asleep during that brief little moment. Poor little roomie. They'd just be too easy to distract and mesmerize while they're like this. Really it's their own fault for getting like this. They'd be too exhausted to focus on anything more then their meds and water.

They wouldn't even notice my hand on their shoulder, kneading their skin and coaxing fur to form up the side of their neck. I'd take the empty glass back and place it down on the table. Between all the charms the couch was enchanted with and the ongoing toll of work, they wouldn't be able to resist laying back down. I'd guide them down and take their hand in mine, massaging at the back of their hand until I feel the soft fuzz of their coat coming in. Move my attention to their fingertips so that I could feel their fingernails thicken and grow into toenails as the skin of their fingers changed their texture towards toepads and fur. Feeling at their palm, massaging it gently into a paw pad as the final step before their entire hand was finished changing into their new paw. From their paw, up their wrist, past the elbow, and up to their chest and around to their shoulder, completing the transformation of a foreleg. My original hand on their neck following the pattern in reverse, transforming the rest of their torso and remaining arm.

Placing my hands on their calves, even their pants wouldn't be able to protect their legs from my ministrations. Their legs would quickly change, shrinking into their new slender form. I'd laugh watching their pantlegs poof out as their coat came in. I wouldn't even need to move my hands for the shift to follow down to their ankles, transforming their feet into hind paws. I'd be practically chasing the transformation up to the hips and stomach. I'm pretty sure all I would need to do is make space for their tail to come in.

Their head though. I'd want to take special care for them once their mind transfers over. I'd gently cup their cheek in my palm, feeling their coat start to form under my hand. Petting them from their head to neck, taking breaks to give attention to their ear. Feeling the cartilage soften while the skin stretches out as their entire ear repositions on their head. Stroking their cheek with my thumb as I reform their jaw into a snout. I'd let go of their head and hug them gently while the spell finishes, waiting for the initial thrash before they pick up my scent. The one-two-three sniff, before a heavy sigh, and then going limp into me. The sign I know I have my dog again. I'd give them a hug before pulling away at any clothes they were still tangled in. As excited as I know they are to see me, I know they're just as tired. We can fall asleep together on the couch; we don't have to go anywhere. And when we're ready, we can go for a walk around the neighborhood. Why not a park, too. We'll have all the time in the world.

[jennay]

The Clinic (The end of the triloligy)

Request: Dentist Jamie removing readers wisdom teeth.

A/n: I hope you enjoy. I tried to make this good enough for he request. Sorry it took so long. For some reason it was very hard. Lol.

"Are you sure they can't stay in my mouth?" You whine. "Aren't wisdom teeth wise? They'll make me smarter?"

Jamie chuckles and leads you to the oh-so-familiar space you've been to many times in the last year. "Darling, yours are crooked and not wise at all." He teases you. "You know the drill. Go sit."

"Are you making dentist jokes?" You lay down on the chair, and Jamie raises your seat.

"I did it very unintentionally." He" He slips his blue gloves over his hands and grabs the swap with a pre-existing numbing solution. "Gena will be in soon, and we will get started."

Your eyes, vast and full of fear, gaze up at your husband.

"Wait, why are you numbing me if you're going to put me out?" You cross your arms over your chest and squeeze your eyes shut. "Jamie, you're putting me to sleep, right?"

He sits next to you and holds your hand. "You said you didn't want to be put under, love."

You open your eyes, your jaw slacks, and you can't believe what he said. "I was being sarcastic, babe." You sigh, "Please, I don't want to be awake through this."

"Alright, change of plans. I'll call Riley in." He smacks his hands on his thighs and stands. "Stay put."

When Jamie arrives back in the room, he has the anesthesiologist. They whisper a few things, and before you know it, Jamie is rolling his chair to the side of you. "Are you ready?"

Nodding, you grab hold of Jamie's hand. Riley is hovering above you, mask in hand. "I'm going to put this over your mouth and nose. I'll need you to take a few breaths when I say."

Your eyes get heavy, and your lids slowly close. The last thing you hear is Jamie telling you you're safe and it will be over soon.

-----

When your eyes open, your vision is slightly blurred, and your head feels fuzzy. You blink a few times before realizing you're home on the couch. Your face feels heavy, and you're nearly ready to close your eyes again.

-------

It isn't until later that night that you start to feel more alive. You sit up, feeling a heaviness in your jaw. Your eyes scan the room, stopping when they land on Jamie sleeping at the end of the couch. His eyes flutter open as he feels you moving around. "How are you feeling, darling?"

Tears well in your eyes when you attempt to open your jaw. Jamie takes that as a sign to get your meds. "I have something for the pain." He reaches to the coffee table and hands you a few pills, "Can you swallow these? what am I saying? You can hardly open your mouth. I'll get you some ice cream." You were asleep again when Jamie arrived back in the room. He knew you would be sleeping a lot, and you did that for nearly two whole days before you decided you had enough lying down.

When the pain eased, you found it easier to start functioning correctly but still felt like you were in a haze; it was definitely from your medication.

"I can't wait to eat pizza." You quietly say. "I'm tired of soup and liquid diets. I need sustenance." You lean against the couch and rest your head on Jamie's shoulder. "I even miss your cooking; I think that says something."

"Well, love, I went to uni for dentistry, not cooking. Speaking of dentistry, have you cleaned your mouth today?"

You nod, "Twice."

Jamie looks down at you, not fully believing you. "If you don't clean it, you're going to get an infection, and it will take longer to heal, (Y/N)."

Rolling your eyes, you say, "I'm going back to bed. I love you, but please never come near my mouth ever again."

[girlwaitingforvienna]

I feel like I can't fucking do it anymore.

I have so much aggression built up inside of me I feel like it's only a matter of time before I explode like a bottle of soda that's been shaken up for too long and left outside in the oppressive heat.

My brain feels worn out and exhausted from these constant uncomfortable "brain zaps"- followed closely by dizzy spells from medication withdrawal. I'm in the process of finding new meds to take for my depression and anxiety, but of course - no one tells you how bad it feels when you have to wean yourself off of that medication that has been in your system for a while.

You feel like a literal drug addict. Your body gets the shivers, your muscles will randomly feel tight and uncomfortable, your mind will play tricks on you- making you see your closest loved ones as a new possible enemy at any given moment; even though rationally, you know that they aren't- if anything, you are.

You feel bone tired all the time. And when you do try to settle down and go to sleep at the end of the day, right as you get comfortable- you get that strange, static-like charge go through your head and you feel that same unwanted dizziness; even while laying flat in bed, leading you to stay awake for more hours- when all you fucking want to do is sleep.

I wish I didn't have to be on any medication at all. But that's not where I'm at; I'm not allowed the luxury of not having to take a fucking pill to trick my mind that I'm "feeling better".

I don't feel better, but that's obvious. I'm not going to "feel better" until I'm on the right medication. But why does trying to find the right medication have to be so fucking uncomfortable, and even painful? I know that this is just the medication withdrawal talking right now, I know that my mind isn't seeing things clearly.

Everything is in this weird metaphorical red haze, like this unwarranted aggression is dying to possess me; making me want to reach out and punch some inconsiderate asshole right in the face, despite the consequences.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm ready to feel okay again, but I'm not sure when or if that will ever happen.

I'm just hoping I get better soon - not only for me and my head, but for everyone else's sake.

[theboardwalkbody]

Time to play:Is it Taltz causing my immune system to fail or is it Normal?

Two weeks ago I had sinusitis symptoms. Took antibiotics and it helped.

That same weekend I ended up in the hospital with what turned out to be a bladder infection (which I had 0 symptoms of prior to the extreme pain it ended up causing) and, according to the scan at the hospital I also have a cyst of "significant size" on my ovary which between that and the swollen bladder have been working together to cause chaos.

Plus I got a cold sore. My paternal grandmother got them all the time and passed them to my sister and I as babies and sometimes if I've been sick enough they come out. It's had me in a bad place mentally because of my own personal feelings about it.

Still battling some issues with that despite the antibiotics but now I'm not sure if it's infection or just the cyst.

Now last Friday I woke up with a sore throat and mild congestion. Over the weekend both things have been getting worse.

I couldn't sleep At All last night. I tried going to bed around midnight but my throat was so dry and my sinuses hurt I was too uncomfortable and just kept tossing and turning until about 230. At that point I remembered the window was open and thought maybe the dry air coming in was causing it so I shut it. It helped a little. I wanted to drink something but I've been hesitant since the bladder issues are worse at night and it makes me not want to drink anything.

I tried to do some day dreaming hoping it would lead to real dreaming and it did but only for about 40 minutes.

From 315 to 415 I once again struggled with the intense dry throat and pain.

Now from 415 to 6 I couldn't shut my brain up. Intense racing thoughts and anxiety related to work.

I missed work last Monday because of the bladder stuff. I was in so much pain and had added nausea from the antibiotics.

I was supposed to start a new case today, a new patient's first day with our company. I really wanted this case for a few different reasons and I think it would be a really good fit.

But I've been awake all night, I feel run down, I feel hot, my throat is hurting, my sinuses are burning, I feel so tired.

They said it's OK and to feel better when I called (finally made the decision at like 615 because I was supposed to be up and getting ready to leave for 730) but I feel so guilty. I feel like it reflects bad on me and the company and it's day one and I really wanted this case and I hope they don't take me off it for good because of this and idk.

I spent hours beating myself up over it before I called and now I'm still beating myself up over it. Despite knowing I'd be suffering during a full 8hr hands on shift with the night I had and how I feel in general because of whatever is going on.

So I'm kinda miserable all around.

I keep trying to convince myself it's just allergies. Because the pollen and the blooming trees, and the change of weather, etc. But I took allergy meds and they didn't do anything. I took the 24hr pseudoephedrine and still nothing. I think it's either the sinus infection has come back or maybe it's a new one, or possibly tonsillitis because on Saturday I did have some spots on my tonsils (I get tonsil stones though and because of my cold sore I didn't poke around at them to see if it was stones or not) and they are swollen (which for me is normal anymore but they look extra swollen and red now).

So idk.

Part of me wants to be like que cera, cera

But the bigger part of me (where the anxiety and mental health issues live) is going to beat myself up over today.

My Lola knows I'm not feeling great and I'm upset because, despite the fan being on which she doesn't enjoy, she jumped down from her loop/perch and is laying on the bed with me (she did use the opportunity to scratch the curtain, though). She's going to snuggle with me and then get zoomies. It is prime for zoomies.

[edna-skiffens]

The Best Medicine

Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff

A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.

Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.

You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.

Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.

“Nope.”

“So no sleep again, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”

“Not being in the hospital.”

He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.

“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”

“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.

“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”

“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.

“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”

“I’ll be here.”

About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”

“Always.”

“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.

“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.

“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”

“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.

“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”

“Right. Right.”

“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”

“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”

“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.

“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”

You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.

“My story that boring?”

“Obviously.”

“Your sarcasm has no end.”

“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”

Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.

You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.

“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.

“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.

“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”

“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”

“Mhm.” You barely respond.

“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”

Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.

“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.

Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.

You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”

“Okay.”

“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.

You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.

You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.

You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.

He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.

It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.

Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.

“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.

He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.

Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.

“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.

“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.

Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.

Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.

“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.

You smiled up to him sweetly.

“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”

“Sleeping in my own bed.”

“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”

“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks.

“The pudding cups.”

“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.

“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”

His smile grew wider as you giggled.

“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”

“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”

“That’d be wise.”

“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”

“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”

“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Do you like him?”

“Sorry?”

“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”

“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.

“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”

“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.

“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.

“Neither.”

“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”

“Oh I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.

“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.

“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”

“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”

“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.

“Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”

You thought for a moment before asking your question.

“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.

“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.

“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.

“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.

“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.

“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”

“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”

You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.

“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.

You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.

Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.

You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.

When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.

“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.

You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.

“I’m happy right now.”

He smiled down at you.

“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”

The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.

“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.

He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.

“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”

Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.

When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.

The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.

But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.

The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.

“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.

“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”

You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.

“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”

“I say that sounds amazing.”

She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.

“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.

“Thanks Tanya.”

“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.

You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.

“Y/N! How are we doing today?”

“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.

“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.

You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.

Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.

“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.

“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”

“Okay we’ll be right in.”

Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.

An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.

“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.

“Tom. What are you still doing here?”

“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.

“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”

“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.

You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.

He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”

When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.

“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.

“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.

“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.

Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.

You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.

Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.

Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.

You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.

Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.

“Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.

“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.

“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.

“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.

“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.

“You good?”

You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”

He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”

This was it. This was goodbye.

“Thanks, Tom.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.

“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.

“Thanks.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.

“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”

You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,

Y/N,

In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.

555-5555

P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.

Tom

The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.

One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.

Lmk if you want to be on my tag list

[hufflepuffwritingstuff2]

Hi! I'm back with another request:

This time, whumpee has to go to the dentist and their big brother, caretaker, are going with them but whumpee is nervous so caretaker has to comfort them, later while whumpee is going under the anesthesia, caretaker is comforting them while whumpee is slowly going into a deep sleep, whumpee wakes up later to see caretaker comforting them and taking care of them thanks!

-wizard anon

Hello again Wizard Anon! Thanks for requesting this, I’ll give it a try! Sorry this took a while, I’ve been going through writer’s block :(

“Caretaker,” Whumpee started, “I’m nervous.”

“I know,” Caretaker said from the driver’s seat, “but it’ll be over before you know it. It’s just getting your wisdom teeth out, nothing fancy.”

“But what if something goes wrong?” Whumpee asked.

“Nothing’s gonna go wrong, these guys are professionals,” Caretaker answered, “I got my wisdom teeth taken out by the same surgeon you’re going to.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and everything went fine. Just relax, they’re gonna take care of you.”

Caretaker turned down a street and stopped in front of a small dentist’s office.

“We’re here.” Caretaker said.

Whumpee opened his door and got out of the car, with Caretaker following suit. Caretaker opened the door to the office to let Whumpee inside. Whumpee and Caretaker sat down in the waiting room. Whumpee stared up at the TV on the wall; it was playing some sort of reality show, but it wasn’t doing much do distract Whumpee from his nerves.

“Whumpee,” a nurse called.

“that’s us,” Caretaker said, nudging Whumpee’s shoulder, “let’s go.”

Whumpee and Caretaker followed the nurse to an operating room, in the center of which was a dentist’s chair, along with Surgeon and an anesthesiologist.

“just lay down here and we’ll get started,” the nurse said.

“Can I stay with him until he falls asleep?” Caretaker asked.

The nurse smiled sympathetically.

“Of course,” she said.

One of the other people in the room stepped forward.

“Hello, Whumpee,” Surgeon said, “are you ready?”

“Not really,” Whumpee admitted.

“That’s alright, it’s normal to be nervous, but everything is gonna be fine. Can you extend your right arm for me? Perfect. Now make a fist and squeeze.”

Whumpee made a fist as Caretaker held his other hand. The anesthesiologist stepped forward and inserted a needle into Whumpee’s arm. Whumpee winced at the pain it caused.

“You’re doing great, Whumpee,” Caretaker said.

“Now just count backwards from ten for me.” The surgeon said.

Whumpee looked up at Caretaker as he counted. The more he counted, the more tired he felt. By the time he reached seven, Whumpee couldn’t keep his eyes from closing. The last thing Whumpee heard was Caretaker’s voice before he drifted off into a deep sleep.

…

The next several hours went by in a haze for Whumpee. When he first opened his eyes, he was in a recovery room with Caretaker. Caretaker helped Whumpee stand up and walked him to the car. He buckled Whumpee’s seatbelt for him then got in on the driver’s side. Whumpee drifted back off on the way home. The second time Whumpee opened his eyes, he was in bed in his room. He looked over to see Caretaker holding his hand.

“Hey,” Caretaker said.

“Hi,” Whumpee croaked.

“How are you feeling?”

“it hurts a little,” Whumpee answered.

“Well, a little is better than a lot. I gave you some pain meds when we got home.” Caretaker said.

“You did? I don’t remember…”

“It’s okay.” Caretaker ran a thumb up and down Whumpee’s hand, “you’re probably not gonna remember a lot of things.”

Just then, a wave of pain rippled through Whumpee’s stomach.

“Caretaker,” Whumpee squeaked.

“What’s wrong, Whumpee?”

Whumpee shook his head, threw off the covers, and made a mad dash for the bathroom. He had just made it to the bathroom sink when Whumpee vomited up red. Blood stained every inch of the sink as Whumpee gripped the rim. Caretaker came running in right behind him. Caretaker looked at Whumpee, then at the sink, then back to Whumpee. His expression softened as he rubbed soothing circles into Whumpee’s back.

“Yeah, I was expecting that sooner or later,” Caretaker said, “it happened to me when I got home from my surgery too. Are you okay now?”

Whumpee nodded, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Look, why don’t you go get back in bed while I clean this up, okay? After that I’ll bring you some lunch, you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday.”

Whumpee nodded again and headed back to his room. He climbed back in bed and pulled the covers up. Whumpee had almost drifted off again when Caretaker came in with a bowl of very tiny noodles.

“This should be easy on your mouth,” Caretaker said, “sit up for me.”

Whumpee propped himself up against the pillows as Caretaker handed him the bowl. Whumpee spooned the noodles in, being careful to avoid the stitches in his mouth. When Whumpee had finished eating, he felt absolutely exhausted. He handed the bowl to Caretaker and laid down in the bed. He was already half-asleep when he heard Caretaker’s voice.

“Get some rest, Whumpee,” Caretaker said, “I’ll be right here.”

[branded-witha-j]

This request started one way and then took a whole other turn that I'm going to blame on the pain meds they gave me. I hope you enjoy it, anon reader. 😘💚💚💚

��♡◇♧☆

Something went horribly wrong. It wasn't expected and no one saw it coming despite weeks of planning. The coppers showed up as expected, but something fell through when someone didn't do their job. A post that should have been manned was left wide open and that's how the GCPD got the upperhand.

You were there, holding your own, the armored truck on its side and smoking. The bags you helped carry were heavy and you were distracted, not noticing the officer until he had you restrained. They didn't make a fuss, pulling you away from the scene as discreetly as possible, but it didn't take J long to notice your absence.

He wheeled in place, scanning the street, and that's when he saw them dragging you away, his rage palpable. They thought you were a hostage, surely a nice, rich girl like you forced to commit such heinous crimes. They had no idea that you were important to The Joker or that you were madly in love with your so-called captor.

You fought and clawed to get back to him, but the cops threw you into a police van, the back empty except for you. Now that they had you in their custody, they intended to get you away from the scene, your father waiting for the phone call that you were safe.

You were a Daddy's girl, growing up privileged and rich. Things were planned out for you, your father the puppeteer. It didn't take long for you to tire of his control, a new Daddy altogether pulling your attention and keeping you captivated.

The Joker was just as rich, but dangerous and unpredictable. The night you met him at the annual Gotham Gala was the best of your life and you never looked back.

The van shifted as it pulled away from the curb, a single police car following while the others stayed behind to deal with and round up J and his crew. At least that was their plan. But the cops would fair no better, The Joker's men creating such a scene that J managed to slip away in your pursuit.

He wasn't alone, a handful of goons tagging along, and they were the ones to open fire. The tailing cruiser caught the first wave of bullets, the back tires popping and sending it into an uncontrollable spin. A row of parked cars cushioned the wreck, but the car was inoperable and left behind as the van tried to race for the station.

You were in the back, unable to hang on as a curve was taken too fast, crying out as you were thrown against the bare, metal wall. You found yourself on the floor, clutching for the bench leg that was bolted down, using it to pull yourself under for coverage as bullets ricocheted outside. You could hear shouting from the front, returning fire sounding close and making you scream as a bullet tore through the metal above you.

You rolled yourself into a ball and braced, not seeing the collision coming, but safe as the van slammed to a stop. It was no longer moving, but the shouting continued, eventually two single gun shots marking the silence.

Nothing happened, the van whining as someone cranked the engine and finally got it to start. You stayed under the bench shaking, beams of light shining through the bullet holes as the van started to move again. Even as the ride continued on for what felt like an eternity, you stayed on the floor unable to move out of some fear that The Joker had been hurt, or even worse, killed.

Eventually the van came to a stop and you held your breath, hearing the front door open, and approaching footsteps. They crunched in what sounded like gravel and stopped at the back doors. Then there was unnerving silence. You continued to hold your breath, eyes closing as the screech of metal unlocked the doors and light flooded over you. It took you a moment to open your eyes, the sunlight blotting out the figure that peered inside. You blinked, trying to clear your vision, and a hand at your ankle made you lash out. You kicked hard, snarling in anger as they avoided your booted defense and dragged you closer.

Hands groped at you, pulling you upright, and that's when you were finally able to focus. The Joker leaned over you, a gash at his forehead sending a steady stream of blood down the side of his chiseled cheek. He was bleeding, but seemed unharmed and very much alive. With a gasp, you clutched for him, anchoring your hands at his face and kissing him hard.

His metal teeth hurt against your own, but you didn't care, deepening it until you felt certain you could drown. He was the one to break the kiss, eyes darting and taking inventory. You were unharmed, maybe a little bruised, but not hurt. The relief made him purr and he pushed forward, kneeling at the metal floor and hovering over you.

You let him lay you back and didn't protest as his hands slid over your body, making sure you weren't damaged or in pain. As his exploration continued, you reached for him, pulling him on top of you, your arms and legs trapping him. He grimaced, a single droplet of blood falling on your cheek, and you couldn't stop yourself from kissing him. He tasted like blood and gunpowder and you savored it.

In the distance, you could hear approaching sirens, your moment ending almost as quickly as it had started. Surely the van could be tracked and they would be here soon, both of your hearts racing as you fled the scene. You took back alleyways, hiding in the shadows, ducking into dark doorways as police cruisers rolled past.

It was in one of these doors that J cornered you, smiling in his mischievous way. You smiled back, head tilting as he leaned in for a kiss. It was slow and deep, ending with a purr.

"Are you my girl?" You nodded to his question, feeling his hands on you, fingertips digging into your hips. You let out a gasp of surprise as he slid a hand over, cupping you and pushing you harder against the door. It creaked with your weight but held as J frantically pulled at the waistband of your leggings. You joined in, flipping his belt loose, and popping the button to pull down his zipper.

A single slam against the door made you both groan, The Joker not stopping until he was buried deep. He burned and stretched you in the most delicious way, his face burying at your neck. Another thrust of his hips made you cry out, the sound echoing around the alley and building as his movement grew frantic.

Voices yelled out nearby, causing you to tense, and a shift of your hips sent you over a dangerous edge. Your cries of pleasure bounced off the walls, dissolving into the air and mixing with the sounds of the city. The Joker had reached his end, as well, and held you in place, nuzzling at your neck until he left a purple mark with his mouth.

For a long moment, nothing else existed, the sounds of the city fading away. You relished in his touch and taste, his crimson smeared lips leaving no doubt that you belonged to him. It was a bubble of happiness that you lived in precariously, not ready for it to pop so soon.

But pop it did, and you were both on the run again, dragging your pants up with laughs and tripping away. The cop that discovered you was close, but not enough to catch you, both of you sliding out onto the crowded sidewalk, people rushing out of your way as you ran.

You felt like Bonnie and The Joker was your Clyde, hands joining as you ran, more fits of laughter falling from your lips as you veered off the sidewalk and into traffic to avoid another cop.

You didn't see it coming, so lost in your delirious happiness that the delivery truck went unnoticed. Brakes squealed as the large vehicle tried to stop, but too much weight and speed kept it coming in your direction, both of you freezing on the spot.

There was a second where you realized you were about to die, turning towards J, but feeling yourself lifted and flung in the opposite direction. You waited for the pain, but it didn't come, instead air whipping past and making your hair swirl. And then your ride was abruptly over, Batman releasing you on the far sidewalk.

Stunned to see him this close up, it took a moment for you to wheel back in search of The Joker, horror making you cry out at his still form on the road. You pulled and screamed, tearing yourself away from your savior to run to your lover.

No one tried to stop you, everyone frozen and watching as you collapsed by his side, hands shaking and touching him. You were frantic, pulling at him, screaming his name, but getting no response. He was gone, his body broken and bleeding before you like a living nightmare.

You tried to revive him, performing CPR, pushing and thumping at his chest until Batman pulled you away. His arms locked around you like a vice and carried you from the horrible scene, your pleas falling on deaf ears.

Your eyes pinched shut, your cries turning into begging, everything fading until you jolted awake in a cell you couldn't remember. The pressure around you that had once been Batman's arms was a straitjacket keeping you secure. It was an embrace you could never escape, eyes heavy and sweeping the empty, dim room.

Who knows how long you had been here, time meaning nothing. Who knows if anything was real, the pain in your heart the only reminder that something had been taken from you.

The ground vibrated but you barely noticed it, the extinguished lights above you swaying and sending dust down upon you. Your neck was stiff as you slowly looked up, the hanging light swaying back and forth. Another much harder vibration caused it to pick up momentum and you were mesmerized by it, not hearing the screams in the hallway.

A fresh explosion buckled the door, leaving a gaping hole filled with smoke. You stared at it, unable to move even if you felt the desire, a single figure stepping through as a floating silhouette. They crossed the room, kneeling before you, and a tug at the helmet they wore revealed a shock of green hair and icy blue eyes.

He smiled at you, your own lips twitching and pulling until the corners lifted and mirrored him. His laugh came next, eerie and almost mournful, but your own joining in until it was deafening and terrifying to all that could hear it.

Again you felt yourself lifted, this time in the arms you wanted more than anything, The Joker carrying you from the cell and into the fiery hallway. Bodies lay before you, framing your escape route, and J didn't let you go until he reached the getaway vehicle, slowly placing you in the backseat. Leaning down, his lips ghosted over yours, a new scar across his cheek catching your eye. His kiss was brief, a peck at your lips, and then he spoke the words you had been dying to hear for so long.

"Let's go home."

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

I absolutely LOVE how you write angst, I'm always looking forward to a bit of hurt lol How'd the guys(romanced) react to being hit by the berserk syringe and start attacking Sole but come back to their senses right before actually killing Sole!?

i can’t imagine any of my boys hurting sole. this is such a unique scenario and i’m absolutely here for it! i’m not proud of this but please enjoy! <3

*i’ll edit this in the morning cause a bitch is tired.

[ tw: depression/violence/blood/injuries!!! ]

-

never in a million years did they expect the only person they’ve ever trusted to be the reason for their death. well, not the main reason, as the berserk syringe was the cause, but the fact that they were the reason why sole had been helpless on the floor only added on. they towered over sole, who laid in their puddle of blood, gasping in immense pain as they tried to use the last of their strength to plead. sole let out soft sobs, watching as their other half pointed the pistol at their head with no sense of remorse. this wasnt the way they expected to go, not by the hands of the only person they found love in.

“st..op..” they cried, trying to find the power to reach out to him. all the memories flashed through their mind; memories of their life before the bombs dropped, the moments they spent in the wasteland, and the day they fatefully encountered one another. they refused to die this way. sole mewled out his name, begging for him to stop. and just like that, they hesitated and regained consciousness, taking a moment to ground themselves into the situation and realize the horror of it.

-

Danse:

this was everything he’s ever feared since sole had landed into his life. he had dreams - not many - but definitely a fair amount of his loved one dying in his arms and he feared it may have been an omen wading in the darkness waiting to come to life - and it did, just not in the way he visualized. the sight of sole bleeding out in front of him brought him to a whole new level of fear. “sole?” he choked out in disbelief, unable to move. it’d take him a minute to piece everything together as his eyes darted from the weapon in his hand, to his surroundings, then the syringe... and it hit him. “shit!” he cursed, making his way to sole hurriedly and carried them off the ground, running towards goodneighbor. he had no time to talk, to cry, nor to feel sorry for himself. sole could be seconds away from dying and it’d be the last damn thing he’ll let happen. once someone had taken sole into their care, he would absolutely refuse to leave the building without knowing their status.

danse would sit in the chair or stand impatiently for hours on end, all thoughts of doing basic human necessities, such as eating and sleeping, completely slipping his mind. the minute he was given the chance to see sole, he did nothing but that and finally let the tears spill into the palms of his hands as he sat near soles bedside. sole would take him into their arms, kissing his hair gently as they caressed his head. “it wasn’t your fault,” they repeated constantly as reassurance, “none of it was.” despite soles words, he’d continuously blame it on himself for not being more attentive and have constant nightmares about what had happened, often finding himself in tears as he jolted awake. he’d explain to sole how he didn’t deserve them and how he was afraid it might just happen out of the blue again. it would take a long while for danse to get over his actions and a lot of reassurance from sole, who was more than glad to help him through these rough times.

Deacon:

deacon had panicked many times in various situations; you name it, it’s probably happened. but this? this was a different type of panic. one that he couldn’t avoid no matter how much he tried, regardless of how many lies and jokes he told himself. he darted to sole, taking them into his arms in a panicked manner as his breathing began to release in irregular patterns. “i didn’t do this, right?” he tried to push everything away, run from the truth that obviously surrounded the two, “sole, you know i’d never hurt you, right?” his voice trembled, hands shaking as he tried to move the hair out of their face. his stained hands and clothing told him nothing but the truth- he was responsible for what happened and there was nothing he could do. when sole let out a small, “i know,” and proceeded to look up at him with a tired expression, he broke down and held them close to his body, burying his face into their neck. “i’m sorry,” he sobbed, “i’m so fucking sorry.”

once sole had made it back to hq, he practically begged carrington to do everything in his power to help them survive. it took multiple people to hold deacon back as he fought against them, not wanting to leave soles side as they were taken away to a separate room. once carrington had given him the go to visit sole, he found himself rushing to the room, nearly ripping the door open. without another word, he latched onto them, letting everything he’s ever wanted to say to them spill out within seconds. how much he loved them, how they had changed his life, and things he wouldn’t normally say on a daily basis. sole would notice how he’d become excessively clingy right after that fateful moment and notice his attempts to cheer them up through jokes or little things he did for them throughout the day. during nightfall, he’d hold them in his arms, muttering apologies to them as tears spilled from his eyes. he didn’t know if he could forgive himself.. at least not for a while.

Maccready:

he choked on his own breath, throwing the gun to the side as far as possible. memories of lucy began flooding his mind and the thought of him being alone once more with additional blood on his hands only heightened his panic. with a loud sob, he dropped to his knees and brought sole to his arms, shakily caressing their cheek. “sole, sole. hon, look at me,” he choked through his tears, trying to keep them awake. he stroked their cheek with his thumb, trying to comfort them through the pain with words, touches, anything. “don’t close your eyes. please don’t leave me.” despite the condition they were in, they opened their eyes obediently, staring up weakly at mac who continued to sob. his tears fell off his face and right onto soles cheek, washing away any blood that trailed down. “we’re gonna get you help and you’re gonna get better. you’re gonna come home with me, duncan, and shaun, okay?” his hand moved down to lock with theirs as he gave it a reassuring squeeze, “they’re waiting for us at home, remember?” sole began to tear up, intertwining fingers with mac, “tell them i love them, please.” something triggered in mac and he shook his head, lifting them from the ground and finding his way to the closest town he could find, yelling at anyone for help.

after their wounds had been treated properly, the doctor had led him to the room where he saw his other half lay in bed, all patched up and taken care of. “they will be okay. i advise letting them rest for a while and try to stray away from any physical activity until they show signs of improvement.” the man noticed how mac stared at them with tears in his eyes and he coughed, “i’ll give you a moment, sir.” the sound of the door closing behind him would ease the tension he had in his shoulders and he would lean down, pressing a kiss on soles forehead as they slept.“you hear that, hon? you’re gonna be okay.” as soon as sole made it back home with him, he’d do everything he can to ensure that sole would recover properly. mac would do all the dirty work sole usually did and checked up on them as much possible, visibly worrying to death about them. at night, he’d have a hard time sleeping with the guilt weighing on his shoulders but soles words and affection were more than enough to ease his worries.

Hancock:

to say he hated himself at that very moment was a huge understatement, this being the cherry on top of everything on his list. he knew he’d fuck it up someday, but he never expected himself to go this far. even knowing that it wasn’t his fault and the syringe was the reason why he started attacking, it didn’t change the fact that it was done by his hands. he dropped and tended to soles injuries as much as he could before taking them back to goodneighbor. hancock used everything sole possessed- stimpacks, med x, etc while whispering reassuring things to them, knowing that blaming himself won’t do anything good. when sole weakly grabs his wrist and stares at him with fear and shock, he feels all his intentions of being calm sink to the ground. “am i gonna die?” oh god. never once in their time spent together has he ever heard them say something so heartbreaking. even in the craziest situations, they would always remain hopeful. hancock dropped whatever he held and scrambled to take them into his arms, attempting to soothe their mind. “you’re not gonna die. i’m not gonna let that happen.” he reassured, “there’s no fucking way in hell i’m gonna lose you.” hancock entering goodneighbor with sole in his arms would automatically send a message to the rest of the town and they’d begin readying the medical rooms and collecting all the medical supplies that were available for dr. amaris use.

sole had been discharged eventually into hancock’s care and he’d dote on them 24/7, ensuring that all their needs were met and would go above and beyond with everything they requested. while sole slept, he’d release his anger and bottled up thoughts by taking chems or going out to shoot things to release some emotions. whenever they were awake, he’d trace the wounds with his fingers gently and kiss their skin, apologizing about his actions endlessly. “it fucking hurts to know i did this.” he mutters, “i’m the one who’s supposed to be protecting you, not fucking doing the opposite.” sole would take his hand and brush their lips over his knuckles, “you’ve always protected me, none of this was on you,” hancock watched them with soft eyes, “we’ll get through this together, alright?” the mayor would nod, sending them a sad smile, “alright.”

Nick Valentine:

one of the many who refuses to say anything, but reacts quickly in response. he has no time for mourning or apologies right now and his main priority is to get sole help, even if it means kicking someone’s door down, then so fucking be it. he immediately wraps his coat around sole and carries them to the direction of diamond city, which was thankfully nearby. he whispered things he hoped they could hear despite their unresponsiveness, and silently begged that they’d be okay. when the doctor attempted to take sole into the emergency room, they had grabbed his wrist firmly, catching nicks full attention within seconds. “n-nick, don’t leave.” they pleaded weakly, tearing up when he looked down at them with grief and concern. nick rested a hand on their cheek, placing a soft kiss on their forehead. “sweetheart, i’m never gonna leave you. once you wake up, i’ll be here. i’ll always be here.” he whispered.

“promise?” sole whimpered, their hand still wrapped around nicks wrist. “i swear on it.” he looked up at doctor sun, who was assessing the injuries quietly, “we must act fast.” nick gave him a nod of approval, slowly feeling soles fingers slip away from his touch. as nick promised, he was there the minute sole had opened their eyes. he cupped their cheeks, leaning his forehead on theirs as he let out a shaky breath. “i’m so, so sorry.” they’d shake their head and remind him that it wasn’t his choice nor did they expect it to happen. nick decided to trust their words and though it did tend to lurk in the back of his mind often, he pushed it away as much as he could. he’d definitely become more cautious the next time they would hit the road and sole would notice that his paranoia reached to a whole new level.

Preston:

this seemed too familiar. the sight of his hands full of soles blood brought him back to when quincy was attacked by the gunners. it reminded him of how much people he couldn’t save back home and it surfaced emotions he yearned to forget, only this time.. it was way worse. “no, no, no.” he weeped, taking sole into his arms, “please, please tell me it’s a bad dream.” they had never seen preston so devastated in his life as loud sobs escaped his lips. sole weakly wrapped their fingers around prestons forearm, staring up at him through half lidded eyes. “it’s okay, preston.” their voice was strained and the color draining from their face only made his cries louder. “no, it’s not okay! i can’t lose you,” he said, “i lost everything in my life. i cant lose you sole, anything but you.” and without another word, he’d hold them in his arms as he ran to get help.

he wasn’t about to repeat the events that occurred at quincy and sole wasn’t gonna be another person he couldn’t save because of his careless actions. sole was the last person he wants to let go and there’s nothing that will stop him from ensuring their safety. he would fall back into his depression during soles recovery, knowing he was responsible for what happened to them and would find it absolutely difficult to ever forgive himself. even with sole reassuring him constantly that it was okay, he’d still deny it and cry as sole held him in their arms. just like deacon and danse, it would take nearly forever for preston to let go of what happened and it would eat him up inside and out every second of the day. it would take a lot of reassurance and self trust for him to understand that there was nothing they could’ve done.

Sturges:

he’s absolutely paralyzed, the gun falling out of his fingers unconsciously as he gazed at sole who desperately called out his name. sturges stared at his hands that were painted with that gut churning red and felt himself grow dizzy, hearing nothing but static fill his ears. he was so used to seeing that black/brown fluid paint his gloves that this contrast of red and black made him feel sick. this is why he didn’t step outside the comfort of his home and why he utterly refuses to hold a weapon. soles voice would break his train of thought and he’d immediately rush over to them, realizing that sole was on an unknown time limit. seeing their face so pale and lifeless scared the absolute shit out of him, and knew that there was nothing he could do at that moment to ease their pain. sturges grabbed their bag, searching for anything and everything that could possibly help them, eventually bringing out a stimpack and jammed it into their arm. when sole let out a pained whimper, he turned to face them and held their hand gently, his voice shaky as he spoke, “i’m here, sweetheart. i ain’t going no where.” he continued searching their bag and his eyes fell on the flare that was given to them when they had gotten recruited. that’s right, sanctuary wasn’t very far off from where they were, somebody was bound to see it one way or the other. quickly, he loaded it up and pointed it upwards, pulling the trigger.

once the bright flash appeared in the sky, he crawled over to sole and propped their head on his lap as he held them close. “helps comin’, sweetheart.” he whispered into their hair, “just hold on.” after those events he conspired and sole was given proper treatment and care, he’d be unable to focus on his tasks, his mind retreating back to those horrid memories he yearned to forget. he’d become more quiet and more inconsistent with his duties as the thoughts began to stick with him more. even the sight of a weapon would trigger him, immediately paralyzing sturges as the memories began flooding back. eventually, sole would have to confront him about what had happened to truly ease his mind off the tragedy, giving him some sense of comfort that whatever had happened was out of his control.

Gage:

one moment, he was shooting down gunners left and right and now, he was on his two feet, about to do the same with the only person who’s ever given a fuck about him. he should’ve killed the fucking bastard who shot that syringe at him- gut him clean with his knife and hang him up for display. none of that mattered now, the man was long gone and dead. the only thing that did though was sole. quickly, his hands traveled throughout their body where he could spot the visible injuries and pressed against them, as if it would halt any of the bleeding. “boss, can ya’ hear me?” he felt the fear surge through him the moment they remained unresponsive, eyes closed despite his small taps on their cheek. “fuck,” he breathed, “wake the fuck up.” his voice became more desperate as he attempted to shake them awake, but when sole showed no signs of opening their eyes anytime soon, his heart dropped. “don’t think you get to fuckin’ die on me. not now.” his voice was full of anger- not at sole, but at himself - as he carried sole in his arms to bring them to the nearest infirmary he could find. ‘not ever’, he thought, going as fast as his legs could take him, ignoring the growing pain in his limbs as he did so.

the infirmary he brought sole to informed him that they were not able to take them in due to the rooms being occupied and he pointed his gun at every single one of them, an angry expression painting his face. “now, if ya don’t take them in, i’ll be sure to take care each and every one of ya,” every worker in the building swallowed nervously, raising their hands in surrender, “i don’t make any empty threats, so get goin’ or things are gonna get dirty.” the doctors swallowed nervously, nodding in agreement as they hesitently took sole from his arms. once sole was treated and given time to recover, he’d properly confront them after days of thinking to himself. gage would give a proper and heartfelt apology, guilt wading in his eyes as he spoke. if sole tried to do anything that was against the doctors orders, he’d snap at them, annoyed at their stubbornness, “dang it boss, lay the fuck down.” he’d spit, eventually letting out a sigh as he turned his back at them, “i fuckin’ got it. just say the word and i’ll do it.” he’d feel himself flush, embarrassed at his temper as sole remained quiet, “i just,” he choked on his words, “i want ya to get better. i’m the reason why yer hurt and shit, so let me do this. please.”

[missjoker96]

Hey my lovely clown friends! ♡♡♡

This time I write a short fanfic about Joker and his thoughts about his outfit and his make up.

And after he wakes up, something strange happened...

It is again an idea of me and it came into my thoughts earlier.

Enjoy it! :)

Disclaimer: Mental Illness

Waking up in full Joker mode

It's Joker's point of view..

I woke up and had a nightmare.

I found myself on my couch in the living room and look around. Everything I could realize was that it was the middle of the night and that my favourite episode of the Murry Franklin show ran on tv. It was already late and I heard the siren of a police car outside.

This was Gotham City during the day and night.

It was so fucked up and I still live here in apartment 8J. I slowly sat up and lit myself a cigarette, because I needed it to calm down. I have stopped to take my medication and I felt a lot better now. If this was good or bad?

"Fuck.." I dropped some ash on my lap and notice that I wore my red suit.

Jokers skin.

Have I really forgotten to change my clothe's? It would also mean that I still wear my make up. It must look like a total mess now, but who cares. Nobody would see me tonight anymore. I wouldn't leave my apartment till the morning comes.

I blew out a dark smoke of my mouth and remember that I went out as Joker and forgot to take a bath. My suit smelled like parfum, cigarette's and sweat. Mmmh! But I could really take a bath after my delicious cigarette. After I finished my cigarette, I turned the tv off and went to the bathroom. I couldn't wait to relax and enjoy a warm bath after this exciting day. I turned the lights on in my bathroom and prepared a warm bath with the scent of coconut and flowers. I put my clothe's off and placed them on my small table and then I checked my reflection. My make up was smeared. One blue triange longer than the other, my red eye brows mixed with blue and my red smirk smeared with the white. My red nose was the only thing which wasn't smeared, but I've planned on redo my make up after the bath. Even my green hair looked good after my short slumber. A few curls hung into my face, but they could be fixed with hair gel again.

I smirked at my reflection and formed with my fingers on my mouth a wide smile.

In the meanwhile my bath got ready and I wondered how it would feel to wake up in the morning as Joker. He deserved to wake up, because he protected me from bullies and criminal people.

"Joker, I have thought about a great idea. I'm going to let you be there when I wake up. Does that sound good for you?"

I asked my mirror reflection and it smirked back at me before it answered.

"That's a good plan, Arthur. I know you want me to cover your sad soul with a happy clown face and some jokes. Hahahahaha." Joker answered me and laughed. He knew better and I finally turned around to climb into my bath tube. The water was warm, almost hot but relaxing. Perfect for me, because I had to relax now. I already wanted to wash my make up off to feel like Arthur again, but I wanted to redo it and go to bed with it. And for my green hair it was the same. I layed down in my bath tube and breathed in the scent of coconut and flowers while I hummed the lines of my favourite song. I used my favourite shower gel and finally sang. The music was in my head and also in Joker's. We both shared the same passion and we were part of each other. But right now I felt like Arthur and Joker.

I closed my eyes and listened to the music in my head.

My head was full of chaos and memories.

I had to get rid of them and I could only do that when I wear my red suit and my Joker make up. My bath water was already cold and I climbed out of the bath tube. I wrapped a big towel around my fragile body and began to redo my make up. It should look perfect when I wake up in the morning. With the colours of white, red and blue I repainted my happy clown face again. Of course I turned Frank Sinatra on while I did my make up again and smirked at my result.

"Hello Joker.." I said to my mirror reflection and put my red suit on. Joker's skin, the most important part beside the clown make up. And here he was again and ready to bring chaos again to Gotham City. I would love to go out now, but it was so late and I was so tired and decided to go to bed.

I left my bathroom and went to my bedroom where I threw myself on my bed. I drifted away into a deep slumber and the night hours passed faster than I've imagined. Usually I couldn't sleep, because of my insomnia, but since I've stopped to take my meds I feel a lot better.

At least I could sleep a few hours until the siren horn of a police car woke me from my slumber.

"Who dares to wake up Joker?"

Right I was Joker before I went to bed. I didn't forget that and got up from my bed. The first thing was that I checked my make up when I entered my small bathroom. The mirror was right in front of me and I stepped closer to check my make up. The surprise was big, because it wasn't smeared.. How could that be possible? I slowly touched my face and felt that my skin felt thicker and it wasn't my clown make up. Nothing came off and I heard Joker's laugh in my head again.

"Hahahahahaha.. Hahahahahaha.."

It was me who was laughing.

And I began to realize that this was my new skin. Joker's skin with the red suit and the happy clown face.

"Is this the real me now?" I asked my mirror reflection. It smirked at me with this damn red smile and I could swear that it answered me. Or it was only my imagnation again.

"That's the real you, Joker.."

I could live with that, but this is only my imagnation. I would wake up sooner or later and then Arthur would be back. The poor and kind soul, my gentle side. But Joker took over hand and my hair glow bright green as if it wasn't dyed anymore.

Maybe I really turned into Joker now.

It was only a question of time until people realize the real clown, because I've noticed him already. He was right there inside of me and in the mirror.

"I guess I have to accept my fate now..."

"Yes you have to." The voice in my head spoke again and laughed. I smirked at my reflection and lit myself a cigarette to start my day as Joker.

I breathed in the smoke and then slowly out again like it's my life drug. The drug that keeps me alive...

#JokerFanfic #Joker2019 #DCUniverse #Joker #JoaquinPhoenix #ArthurFleck #Fanfiction #ShortFanfic #ShortStory

[2idiots]

Keep Yourself Alive

pt. 6 // pt. 7 // pt. 8a

word count: 1,667ish

NCT Frat Social Media AU // College Athlete & Fratboy Lucas x reader

warnings: not really any, kind angsty, more than just mentions of chronic pain

(I don't know how but the second paragraph got deleted when I first uploaded. I have since added it in. So if you see something new that's why)

---

Getting Johnny from outside the building to inside your room was a lot more difficult than you expected. This was partially because your best friend was much drunker than his texts suggested and partially because each step was sending a pain reverberating down your legs and up your abdomen. A pain that you knew the mild over-the-counter pain meds would do little to numb but you had taken them with false hope anyway. Before your best friend had forced you into letting his drunkass in you were curled into your bed with a heating pad pressed into your abdomen, hoping eventually exhaustion would win over excruciating pain.

This was the real reason you bolted out of Jet Lag the minute your friends were off in different directions distracted. The pain had triggered before Mark's open mic night started but you were not about to miss the night you friend had been talking about for weeks. This was so important to him and you had to be there. So you sucked it up and promised yourself to duck out the moment it was clear and Mark had performed. Woo noticing and staying over for a few hours was just a welcomed surprise. And the leftover baked goods he brought were another plus side, not that you had any appetite. At least your blubbering fool of a friend would benefit from the pile of pastries sitting on your desk, if you could make it past the giggling desk attendant.

The first time you walked passed her with bleary eyes, focused on only the task ahead she called out something about the “cute Oppa” at the door. Immediately a gag raced up your throat at that, Johnny? A cute Oppa? Gross. He was like your brother, actually more like your overprotective mother. Sure you joked about Johnny being a daddy, but it was all shits and giggles to make him mad with Mark. He wasn't actually one.  The second time she made some sort of pass at him that you blocked out and stifled another gag. You didn’t need to see or hear that child making passes at your best friend.

That wasn’t the only thing she was giggling at though. You and Johnny were quite the sight. He was a stumbling, stuttering fool and you were wearing pajamas that had been picked out in the dark, not even your shoes matched. These were things you had thrown on when Johnny begged you to let him in but your headache was pounding too much to turn the lights on, which was also the reason for the sunglasses. 

Speaking of Big Foot, he was using you almost completely as a support and he weighed a lot more than his bony ass looked. How he managed to make it to your building from 7th Sense was beyond you, he could barely make it three steps without giggling and sliding around. Honestly this made you more than a little nervous for Mark, usually he was the giggly one after a few drinks. If Johnny was this drunk, then Mark could very well be dead.

Overall the hardest obstacle for Johnny to maneuver around was your actual room. He tripped over everything. Maybe it was his long spindly legs combined with the alcohol, but he even fell just trying to walk over your rug. You had to catch him before he face planted. Of course he just contiuned blabbering about the night and how well it went the whole time, even while laughing at his clumsiness. “Then Mark fell! Kinda like how he is falling for sunflower boy but like fell… on the actual ground… like how I just almost fell!” To which you just nodded, handing him a pastry and an ice cold water bottle. “And Jae was so funny, he was talking about the basketball team and one of their parties last week where someone drank beer from a ball that had been cut in half. Isn’t that gross?”

“Yeah babe, real gross,” You nodded, trying to push him toward your bed. You might not have been asleep before he messaged but you were still in bed ready to sleep and you wanted to be back there. “Can you get in bed, Jojo? I'll tired.”

Following your direction like a lost lamb, Johnny swiftly removed all his out layers and climbed into your bed continuing to talk about the basketball team and how pretty and funny they were, all the while giving you very pointed looks. Or at least he was prattling on until he went completely silent and tense before screeching, “THERE’S SOMETHING WARM!”

Arms crossed and irritation pulsed through you at the scream, you leaned over to pull the heating pad out from under him and wiggled it around in your outstretched hand, “Johnny you’ve met HP before, HP meet Big Foot.”

“HP? You named your heating pad?” He questioned already snuggling back into your sheets like he owned the bed. This happened every time he was over, sober or drunk it didn’t matter; Johnny took up every blanket and pillow in your entire bed: partially because his size, mostly because he was an asshole. One of the many reasons you were hesitant to let him stay over anymore, even though you always ended up letting him stay.

“Might as well, he’s in my bed so often,” You grinned before grabbing another water bottle out of the mini fridge in the corner of the room and tossing it his direction. While this wasn’t a common occurrence, drunk Johnny, you did know that he would wake up in three hours whining about a dry mouth and you didn't want to deal with it.

“I mean he wasn’t on Halloween.” Luckily you flipped the lights off before you could see his suggestive eyebrow wiggle. Here was the worst part, talkative drunk Johnny taking an interest in your life and trying to lay down his tips on life. 

Grabbing an extra blanket for yourself you slid in next to him and laughed that thought off, “Actually HP was, ALSO I thought we agreed to not talk about Halloween, leave the past behind us and all.”

“Behind us? Is that how you like it y/n?” He let out a slight whimper when you turned over enough to give him a solid kick to the shin. This alcohol was giving him far more confidence than normal and you didn’t like it. Throwing his hands up, Johnny tossed out a worthless apology and whined, “I deserved that ok. But you know I wouldn’t call it the past, don’t you tutor the dude?”

That elicited a quiet response from you, a simple, “Yeah.”

“Isn’t it like two or three times a week?” He didn’t stop his incessant babbling long enough for you to answer, adding on, “You’re quite popular, my friends keep asking about you too.” Then a switch suddenly flipped in Johnny’s mind, evident by how he practically climbed over you to switch the lamp back on and give you his best mom glare, “Wait, you’re sleeping with HP?” You let out a few weak protests as the light flooded your room and his bony ass arm squished you down into the bed digging into your side. Drunk friends sucked. Too bad you loved them too much to leave them on the street. “So you’re in pain? You’re in pain and you didn’t say anything? You just went home alone and lied to Mark and me?”

“Johnny I always sleep with a heating pad and I’m always in pain. It's not a big deal.” Tonight just happened to be bad, still was, but you left that part out. “Also Jungwoo just left; I wasn’t alone.” That was accompanied by a successful effort to push him off so you could flip the light off again and snuggle into the heating pad again. “Now go to sleep, I'm tired.”

There was a brief moment of silence before you heard sniffling and an occadsional shuffle.

“Are you crying?” You asked incredulously, flipping over to see him hastily wiping away his tears in the ambient light filtering in through the window. Sure enough, your bitch-ass best friend was laying on the other side of the bed using his white undershirt to wipe his tears away. At least he was smart enough not to use your sheets as the tissue. “Stop crying.” This was new. Your friends probably knew way too much about how hard your days were getting, in fact Johnny had driven you to the ER one too many times over the past year and a half, but they had never cried in front of you. At least not about you. 

You hated it.

His immediate response was denial, no he wasn’t crying. These weren’t tears, they were allergies. "Leaks in my face." But you still heard him mutter a muted “I just want you to be happy and not in pain” as the alcohol running through his system finally knocked him out.

You were struck silent, not sure how to respond. Sure he was your closest friend and that meant he had to like you, but this affection made breathing a little hard: your chest not quite expanding like it should. You felt a warm tear roll down your cheek as you turned to face the other side of the room, an effort to get away. This was exactly why you didn't tell them about tonight, you didn't want them burdened with your pain. They should have to suffer just because you were. 

Ignoring the ache in your chest, you blindly reached out for where you set your phone on the bedside table. You still may not be able to sleep but you could get some reading done and maybe forget the sound of Johnny's tears. And maybe, just maybe, the words would lull you into some dreamlike state so you could rest. It was only a few minutes into reading that a text interrupted the chapter. 

summary: College is hard enough, right? Coursework, two jobs, a social life, and the state of your mental health. As if that was enough now the school’s no.1 athlete won’t leave you alone after a one night stand. And maybe you like him back but you have a tendency to run when life gets too difficult especially now that undiagnosed chronic pain just seems to be getting worse with each passing month.

(I've decided updates will be Thursday at 6pm. I hope you enjoy this chapter)

Taglist: @princeofshenzhenuwus

[stickswrites]

Free Lunch! Helps The Fear (Her Shadows, Ch. 5)

I woke up to my alarm and, thankfully, not a nightmare. I turned the alarm off and laid back in bed. I knew I should probably get up to work out, but after last night's nightmare, I was drained. I scratched Yuzuki's head as I sighed and got out of bed. I changed into a tank top and yoga pants before walking out of my room and to the kitchen to eat something before working out.

"Good morning," Dad said from his seat at the table, sipping his coffee. "How did you sleep?"

"Not well," I responded. "I had a nightmare."

Immediately Dad's coffee cup was abandoned on the table as he stood up and rushed over to me. He wrapped me up in a tight hug and held me close. Tears started to prick at my eyes as I hugged him back just as tightly. We stood in the kitchen, hugging, for a few minutes before Dad let go of me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," Dad said softly. "I didn't hear you."

"It's alright, Dad," I responded with a small smile. "Besides, it wasn't that bad. I was able to go back to sleep afterward."

"That's good," he responded.

After getting that conversation out of the way, we dropped the topic entirely. He knew that I would tell him what it was about when I was ready and that trying to force it out of me would only make things worse, and I knew that he would be there when I needed to talk.

I grabbed a granola bar from the counter to eat for breakfast. I ate it quickly so that I could work out and clear my mind for the day.

"You gonna use the training room this morning?" Dad asked.

"Yeah," I responded. "I think it'll be good after last night."

He hummed in agreement and continued to drink his coffee. I finished eating my granola bar and threw the wrapper away. I quickly fed the cats and then went back to my room to finish getting ready to workout. I put my sneakers on and took my medicine, putting the now empty pill bottle in my bag to remind me to see Recovery Girl today.

"Did you take your meds yet?" Dad called from the table.

"Just did," I called back. "I'm gonna need to stop by Gran's office today for a refill."

"Sounds good!"

Since I'd been on the U.A. campus for years, the staff was basically my family. Recovery Girl was essentially my grandma, so I usually just called her Gran. She loved it and considered me her granddaughter, which I loved. She's always there when I need advice on anything I don't want to talk to Dad about.

I groaned as I rubbed my eyes again, still a little tired from not sleeping well the night before. Making sure my bangs were pinned back, I walked down the hall to the training room. I turned on the speaker and connected my phone to it so I could play music while working out. I clicked shuffle and went over to the cabinet that had my gear in it. I wrapped my wrists for support and put my gloves on before walking over to the punching bag in the middle of the room.

The music was loud, but not loud enough to drown out my thoughts. Images of my nightmare flashed in my mind, making me hit the punching bag harder every time, not worried about what hitting harder could do to my wrists. My parents were the reason I had to wear arm braces and wrap my wrists for support every time I worked out or trained. They'd ruined me in so many ways that I knew I would never fully recover from. The image of Amaya tightly gripping my wrist flashed in front of me and I shook my head to get rid of it. A moment later, Takumi kicking me relentlessly appeared in front of me. I shook my head again, but it didn't go away. Letting out a yell, I put all of my power into the next punch, some of the shadows in the room even reinforcing my arm for more power. My fist made contact with the punching bag and it flew off of the chain connecting it to the ceiling and across the room, the seam splitting a bit and sand pouring out. I huffed as I stared it down, the replay of my nightmare finally stopping.

It took a few seconds for the pain to register, but once it did I let out a loud groan and sank to the floor, holding my wrist close to me. I heard the door to the training room open and my music stopped playing. Dad came up behind me and helped lift me from the ground. He turned me around and looked at my right wrist that I was cradling. He grabbed it lightly and started taking off my glove and wrappings.

"Are you okay?" he asked sternly.

"Yeah," I responded. "But I think I may need to see Gran before school today."

"I think you're right," he said while sighing. "Come on. You're done with training until class later. Let's ice your wrist."

I nodded and followed him out of the training room and into the kitchen where he pulled a bag of frozen vegetables out of the freezer. He grabbed a paper towel and brought them both over to me as I sat on a stool at the counter. I put the paper towel that he handed me on my wrist and the vegetables on top of it, the paper towel keeping my wrist from freezing. I sat silently, trying to avoid Dad's stare. Finally, I looked up at him. He had his arms crossed and was standing on the opposite side of the counter.

"We need to talk about what happened in there."

It wasn't a question anymore. I knew I needed to talk about it. What I did wasn't healthy and hadn't happened in over a year. I sighed and rubbed my face with my free hand. I looked at Dad and nodded.

"It was about my biological parents," I started, looking back down at my hands. "I was back in that tiny apartment. They were there too." Dad didn't say anything so I kept talking. "I was the same. It wasn't a memory at all. It was as if I had gone back to the past or something, but I was still me from the present." I paused for a second to take a shaky breath. "My quirk wasn't working either. That was the scariest part. It was like back then. I was defenseless."

I didn't have to continue with what else had happened. Dad knew.

"I'm really sorry I wasn't there to wake you up," he said, leaning forward on the counter. "And I'm sorry you had a nightmare." There was a pause as I waited for him to start talking again. "But, you should be more careful when training."

"I know," I said. "And I'm sorry I wasn't."

"You know what will happen if you hurt your wrists too much when you aren't wearing the arm braces," Dad told me. I nodded silently, understanding what he was talking about. "Alright." Dad stood up from leaning on the counter and grabbed the vegetables and paper towel off of my arm. "Go get ready for school. We're going to be leaving in about an hour."

I nodded and stood up from my seat. I walked around the counter and gave Dad a hug before walking back to the training room to grab my phone. I took off the glove and wrappings on my left hand before grabbing my phone and going to my room to shower and get dressed for school. After I got out of the shower, I got dressed in my school uniform and pulled my hair back into a half-up half-down ponytail. I left my tie undone around my neck, my wrist protesting every time I tried to tie it myself. I looked myself over in the mirror to make sure I looked presentable before grabbing my backpack with my good arm, giving Yuzuki, who was laying on my bed again, a kiss on the head. I walked out of my room, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"Dad?" I asked as I walked down the hallway. "Can you tie my tie for me today?"

"Sure," he said, setting his bag down to tie it for me before we walked out of the house.

He expertly tied my tie before grabbing his bag again and his car keys. We walked out of the house to see Makoto already standing in the driveway, waiting for us.

"You guys are a little later today," he noted with a smirk.

"Little Miss Shadows over here hurt her wrist during her workout this morning," Dad joked.

Makoto shot me a teasing smile as I let out a small laugh. I didn't say anything as we got in the car and drove to school. It wasn't a long drive and we soon got to the school. Dad parked and the three of us got out of the car, grabbing our bags as we did so. We walked into the school through the back door and, once inside, Dad stopped us from walking down the hall.

"Make sure she sees Recovery Girl before class, Makoto," Dad told Makoto. "I don't trust her to actually go if she doesn't have someone to make her go."

"Come on, Dad," I said, crossing my arms. "Am I really that bad about my injuries?"

"Yes," Makoto and my Dad said at the same time.

I laughed and shook my head at them.

"Whatever," I said, giving my Dad a hug. "We'll see you later, Dad."

"See you, Shota!" Makoto said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and steered me toward Gran's office.

"I'm really fine though," I said, trying to reason with Makoto.

"Your dad told me to take you, so I'm gonna take you," he replied with a laugh.

I grumbled about how Gran was gonna scold me for being an idiot. It was true, but that doesn't mean I want to be told that. Once Makoto decided I had given up on the idea of avoiding Gran's office, he took his arm off of my shoulders and we continued walking toward her office.

"Did you have nightmares again?" Makoto asked. "You usually only lose control during your workouts when that happens."

"Yeah," I said. "It wasn't even that bad, but I guess it had just been so long since I'd had one that it affected me pretty badly."

"Makes sense," he responded. "You know I'm here if you ever want to talk."

"I know."

We made it to Gran's office and walked in. I took my backpack off my shoulder, pulled out the empty pill bottle, and set my bag by the door as we walked in.

"Hey, Gran," I said as I walked over to the bed.

"Hello, Keiko," she said. "Good morning, Saeki."

"Good morning, Recovery Girl," he responded happily.

"Now," she said, turning to me. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well," I started. "I hurt my wrist pretty badly during my workout this morning. That, and I need a refill."

"Why did you hurt your wrist?" Gran berated. "You know that if you injure your wrists much more, you may lose the ability to use them!"

"I know that, Gran," I said as she took my right arm in her hands, inspecting it. "But I had my first nightmare in a while and it affected me more than I thought it would."

Gran didn't say anything in response, instead focusing on my injury. She kissed it and I felt the pain subside a good amount. There were a few seconds of delay before I felt the fatigue hit me. I stifled a yawn as Gran wrapped my wrist to make sure it actually healed properly. She patted my arm when she was done and I pat her hand in response.

"Thanks, Gran," I said with a smile. "I promise I'll be more careful in the future."

"You better be," she said. "I already have a feeling I'm going to be seeing that Midoriya kid in here a lot. I don't need you in here too." The three of us shared a laugh. "Alright now, you two. Get going. Keiko, I'll have your meds ready by the end of the day."

"Thanks, Gran," I said, hopping off the bed and giving her a hug. "I'll see you later. Love you!"

"Love you too," she responded as she turned back to her computer.

Makoto waved goodbye as I put my blazer back on and grabbed my bag. Saying goodbye one more time, the two of us walked out. We didn't really talk to each other as we headed toward the teachers' lounge to bother some of the teachers again. When we walked into the lounge, we were greeted by Midnight and Present Mic. The two of them were like the crazy aunt and uncle of the family, but we loved them. I made a coffee before the two of us walked over to All Might, hoping to have another conversation with him.

"Ah, if it isn't young Keiko and young Saeki!" he said as we sat down on the couch.

"Hi, All Might," Makoto said. "How are you today?"

"I'm doing alright," he said. "I'll be teaching your class today you know!'

"Really?" I asked, excited about what a class with him would entail. "That's awesome! What will we be doing?"

"Now I can't tell you that, Keiko!" he said with a laugh. "That wouldn't be fair to the other students."

I laughed in response before the three of us continued talking. All Might was quickly becoming one of my favorite teachers to talk to. He had so many interesting stories and experiences and it was a lot of fun to be able to hear all about them. He also gave good advice, which I shouldn't be surprised by I guess. During our conversation, Makoto nudged my arm and nodded toward the clock on the wall. We had about 15 minutes before class started. I nodded and stood up from the couch, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder.

"Thank you for talking with us," I said to All Might. Makoto and I bowed in thanks.

"Anytime you two," he said with a closed eye smile. "I'll see you later in class."

Makoto and I smiled before saying a general goodbye to everyone in the teachers' lounge and walking out. The coffee that I had in the lounge was starting to kick in and I had more energy in my step. The walk to our classroom was relatively quiet, occasionally one of us cracking a joke that we thought was hilarious. We made it to the classroom and there was a lot of noise on the other side of the closed door. I took a deep breath and gripped my backpack strap tighter.

"Hey," Makoto said softly, getting my attention. "You shouldn't be worried about what they think, especially that Mineta guy."

"Thanks, Mako," I said with a soft smile, loosening my death grip on my bag. He always seemed to know how to calm me down. "What would I do without you?"

"Crash and burn probably," he joked.

"That was a rhetorical question, idiot," I chuckled as I lightly punched Makoto in the shoulder. "Let's go."

He nodded and the grin that was on my face shrank to a small smile as Makoto slid the classroom door open. He gestured for me to walk in first and I did so, but not without rolling my eyes at him first.

"Hey!" The red-haired boy, I think his name is Kirishima, said as soon as I stepped into the classroom. "You're the girl that got the highest score besides Uraraka in the ball toss yesterday!"

"Yeah," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "Guess that's me."

"Keiko, right?" he asked. I nodded curtly before starting to walk past him. "I'm Eijirou Kirishima! It's nice to meet you!"

He stuck his hand out for me to shake and I took it, offering a very small smile.

"Nice to meet you too," I said in response.

He looked like he was going to say something else, but he was called back to his conversation, and, in his moment of distraction, I quickly walked over to my desk and sat down. I sighed as I put my arms on the desk and laid my head down on them. The coffee could only do so much to help me feel more energetic.

"Are you alright, Koko?" Makoto asked as he turned around in his seat in front of me.

"I'm fine, Mako," I responded. "Just tired. You know I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

He nodded in understanding and turned back around in his chair, pulling his phone out to mess around on it. I was nearly asleep until Present Mic burst into the room, yelling at full volume. I groaned and tried to bury my head deeper in my arms.

"Come on, Keiko!" he yelled, singling me out. "Look alive! We're talking about grammar today!"

I rolled my eyes as I sat up in my chair and saw everyone's eyes on me. I kept my face blank as I pulled out my notebook so that I could take notes during class, not like I would really need them. English was something I was good at. Thankfully, all of our normal classes went by quickly and as soon as the bell rang, signaling lunchtime, I grabbed my wallet and was out the door. Lunch Rush's food was the best and I couldn't wait to eat.

"Someone's in a hurry," Makoto laughed as he and I quickly walked to the cafeteria.

"You're not one to talk," I pointed out with a smile. "Besides, who wouldn't be in a hurry to eat Lunch Rush's food?"

"You make a good point," he responded.

When we got to the cafeteria, it was still pretty empty because everyone had only just got out of classes. Makoto and I walked up to Lunch Rush and pulled out our student id's to pay.

"Hey you two!" he said cheerfully. "I haven't seen you guys in a while! Welcome!"

"Hi, it's good to see you!" I said with a smile.

"The usual?" he asked.

Makoto and I both nodded vigorously as Lunch Rush turned around to get our meals. When he handed the trays to us, we both went to hand him our id's to pay.

"There's no need for that today," he said, waving our cards away. "Today's meal is on the house!"

"Thank you!" Makoto and I said in unison, bowing before saying goodbye and walking to a table.

The two of us started to eat our lunches, exchanging a few words here and there, when a group of kids from our class came up to our table and sat down with us. I looked up at Makoto with wide eyes and noodles in my mouth as Kirishima, Kaminari, Ashido, and Sero all sat down with us. Makoto looked back at me, looking just as confused as I was.

"Oh, sorry we didn't ask!" Ashido said. "Is it alright if we sit here?"

I gave a tight-lipped smile and nod as I went back to eating my noodles. The four seemed satisfied with this response and relaxed in their seats as they started eating and continued the conversation they were having before. I blocked it out, becoming very interested in my food.

"What do you guys think?" Kirishima asked Makoto and I.

My head snapped up as Makoto asked what they were talking about. Apparently he hadn't been paying attention either.

"What do you guys think we'll be doing in the hero training today?" Kaminari asked excitedly. "I think that we'll be doing some super awesome fights!"

He punched an invisible enemy to show what he meant. I glanced at Makoto out of the corner of my eye and bit back a smile.

"I think we're going to be doing some other quirk assessment thing," Ashido said, taking another bite of her lunch.

"I'm honestly not sure what we're going to be doing," Kirishima said with a laugh.

"I think they're going to pit us against each other to do something like what Mr. Aizawa did yesterday with our quirk assessment," Sero said. "Although I guess that's kind of like Mina's idea."

"So," Ashido said. "What do you two think we'll be doing?"

"I'm not sure," Makoto said, poking his food with his chopsticks. "All I know is that it's gonna be tough and we're going to have to give it our all."

I nodded, agreeing with what he said as I took another bite. I looked back up to see everyone at the table staring at me, waiting to see what I had to say. Swallowing the food I had in my mouth, I put my chopsticks in the empty bowl on my tray.

"I think it's going to be a combination of what you've all said," I said. "But again, I don't know either."

The attention was off of me as the four started talking about who they thought would be teaching us. Ashido and Kirishima thought it would be Dad, but Sero and Kaminari were throwing all sorts of pro hero names out. I listened to their conversation with masked amusement. Once I finished my lunch, I slipped away from the table without them noticing. Makoto followed a few seconds after and the two of us cleaned up our stuff and walked out of the cafeteria.

"So that was... interesting," Makoto said with a small smile.

"You can say that again," I responded.

"You seemed to be friendly with them," he teased. "Already breaking your rule of 'no friends'?"

"Not even close," I scoffed. "Just because I act friendly with someone doesn't mean we're friends."

"Whatever you say."

I shoved Makoto to the side with a laugh and he shoved back, sending me across the hall. I righted myself before I could fall over and laughed as I looked over at Makoto, who had a grin on his face.

"You're a jerk," I joked.

"I know," he responded with that huge smile on his face still.

The two of us joked as we walked down the hall to our classroom. We arrived at the door and walked inside. The room was empty because everyone else was still at lunch. We walked to our seats and sat down, passing the time until class started by playing games on our phones. Everyone started to come back into the classroom and, by the time the bell rang to signal the start of class, everyone was sitting down and ready to learn. We were all excited about what the exercise today would be.

"I AM HERE! Coming through the door like a hero!"

The door to the classroom slammed open to reveal All Might in his Silver Age costume. Everyone started chattering about how awesome it was that All Might was teaching us today and about how cool he was. All Might walked to the front of the classroom and stood at the podium to get class started.

"Welcome to the most important class at UA High!" he said proudly. "Think of it as 'hero-ing' 101! Here you will learn the basics of being a pro, and what it means to fight in the name of good!" Everyone watched him, excitement shining in their eyes. "Let's get into it! Today's lesson will pull no punches!" He pulled a card out of his pocket that said 'battle' on it.

"Fight training!" Bakugo said excitedly.

It makes sense he would be excited about it. His quirk was perfect for battle.

"Real combat?" Midoriya said worriedly.

"But one of the keys of being a hero is," All Might gave a dramatic pause as he pointed to the wall on his right. "Looking good!"

The cases holding our hero costumes came out of the wall and even I was having a hard time containing my excitement. I couldn't wait to put on my hero costume.

"These were designed for you based on your quirk registration forms and the requests you sent in before school started!" All Might explained as the final case finished coming out of the wall.

Everyone started to cheer at the idea of finally being able to do real hero training and wear their costumes.

"Get yourselves suited up and then meet me at Training Ground Beta!" All Might instructed.

"Yes sir!" everyone said in unison.

We all grabbed our cases that had our hero suits and went to the locker rooms where we put them on. The girls were all super excited about their suits, but Uraraka seemed to be a bit self-conscious about how tight-fitting hers was. Seeing her discomfort, I walked up to her as I adjusted my arm bracer.

"What do you think of your suit, Uraraka?" I asked.

She looked at me, surprised that I was even talking to her. I offered a small smile and she grinned in response, loosening up a bit.

"I like it!" she said. "Although I do wish it wasn't so tight."

"I get it," I responded with a small laugh. I started to put my hair up into a ponytail as I continued to talk to her. "But with it being as tight as it is, it'll make it harder for someone to grab you. If you had looser clothing someone might be able to grab a piece of it and that could mean trouble for you."

"You know what? You're right!" Uraraka said, perking up a bit more. "Thanks, Keiko!"

"No problem, Uraraka," I said as I walked away.

I pinned my bangs back as I walked out of the locker room, seeing a few of the boys hanging out in the hall.

"Looking good, Keiko!" Kaminari said, shooting finger guns at me.

I gave him a small smile in thanks as I walked past the group to get to the Training Ground. I met Makoto outside of the building. He turned to me with a smile.

"Look at you!" he said excitedly. "Koko you look so good!"

"Thanks!" I said with a genuine smile. "You look great too!"

"You like the logo?"

I looked at his sweatshirt and saw that he had put the logo I designed for him when we were kids in the middle of his sweatshirt.

"Dude that's awesome!" I said excitedly.

"Nice goggles," he pointed out. "I bet he appreciates that."

My hand went up to my neck where a pair of yellow goggles, identical to Dad's, laid. They helped me see better when I used my quirk to shadow travel and helped me focus when the shadows surrounded me. I smiled as my hand gripped them.

"He actually doesn't know yet," I responded.

"Sneaky, sneaky," Makoto said with a smile.

The two of us started walking toward the training grounds when the rest of our class, all in their hero suits, caught up to us. We all walked to the grounds together and when we went through the entrance to the training ground, All Might was waiting for us.

"They say the clothes make the pros, young ladies and gentlemen," he said. "And behold! You are the proof! Take this to heart: from now on, you are all heroes in training!"

I could almost hear the dramatic music as we walked toward All Might and stopped in front of him, the sun shining down on everyone.

"This is getting me all ramped up!" All Might boomed. "You look so cool! Now, shall we get started? You bunch of newbies!"

Midoriya came out of the entrance after we'd all gotten ourselves lined up in front of All Might. Uraraka immediately went over to him and they started talking. It was easy to see that Midoriya had a crush on Uraraka. I looked to my left and saw Makoto looking at their interaction. I saw something click and I was pretty sure he was going to give up on his interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with Uraraka. Unfortunately, that's the kind of person he is. If he sees someone else that is interested in the same person he is, he'll back off. I'd have to have a chat with him about it later.

"Now that you're ready, it's time for combat training!" All Might boomed.

"Sir," Iida said, raising his hand. "This is the fake city from our entrance exam. Does that mean that we'll be conducting urban battles again?"

"Not quite!" All Might said, holding up two fingers. "I'm going to move you two steps ahead! Most of the villain fights you see on the news take place outside. However, statistically speaking, run-ins with the most dastardly evildoers take place indoors. Think about it! Backroom deals, home invasions, secret underground lairs. Truly intelligent criminals stay hidden in the shadows." All Might stood back up to his full height as he continued talking. "For this training exercise, you're going to be split into teams of good guys and bad guys and fight two on two indoor battles!"

"Isn't this a little advanced?" Asui asked.

I was inclined to agree with her. A lot of the students in this course didn't have much experience with using their quirk in combat, so this could be dangerous for them.

"The best training is what you get on the battlefield!" All Might explained. "But remember, you can't just punch a robot this time. You're dealing with actual people now!"

"Sir," Yaoyorozu started. "Will you be the one deciding who wins?"

"How much can we hurt the other team?" Bakugo asked.

"Do we need to worry about the losers getting expelled like earlier?" Uraraka asked, sounding a little worried.

"Will you be splitting us up based on chance or comparative skill?" Iida asked, his hand raised.

"Isn't this cape tres chic?" Aoyama asked, holding a corner of his sparkly cape up for everyone to see.

"I wasn't finished talking," All Might complained.

We all stood silent as he pulled out a notebook that likely told him what he should say. I let out a small laugh at this, but I also understood that no matter who you are, teaching for the first time must be pretty nerve-wracking.

"Listen up!" he yelled, opening the book. "The situation is this: the villains have hidden a nuclear missile somewhere in their hideout! The heroes must try to foil their plans! To do that, the good guys have to either catch the evildoers or recover the weapon. Likewise, the bad guys succeed if they protect their payload or capture the heroes." All Might pulled a yellow box with the word 'lots' on it. I assumed that's how we would get our teammates. "Time is limited and we'll choose teams by drawing lots!"

"Isn't there a better way?" Iida asked.

"Think about it," Midoriya started. "Pros often have to team up with heroes from other agencies on the spot. So maybe that's the reason we're seeing that here!"

"Yes, I see," Iida said. "Life is a random series of events." He bowed to All Might as he apologized. "Excuse my rudeness!"

"No sweat!" All Might responded.

I have to give it to him, Midoriya's smart. He has an impractical quirk, but he's smart. All Might was about to have people start drawing lots, but then I realized something.

"Wait," I said, raising my hand. "There's an odd number of pairs. One team won't have an opponent to face!"

"Right you are, young Keiko!" All Might boomed. "That's why I'll randomly pick two names to form an extra team so that there will be an opponent for everyone. So be prepared because you may be fighting twice!"

I nodded, satisfied with the answer, and put my hand down.

"Now," All Might started. "Let's draw!"

We all drew lots and I was extremely surprised, but also extremely happy, that I was paired up with Makoto on Team K.

"It's meant to be I guess," he told me when we found out we were on the same team.

I laughed and lightly shoved him.

"Now then!" All Might said. "I'll draw two names to see who will be fighting twice on Team L!"

All Might reached into the box and pulled out two pieces of paper. He set the box down before telling us the names.

"Looks like the two that will be fighting twice are Young Bakugo and Young Kirishima," All Might told us.

After putting all of the teams into boxes labeled Hero and Villain, All Might stood between the two boxes.

"I declare that the first two teams to fight will be," All Might put his hands in the boxes, shuffling them around to find the two teams. He pulled two pieces of paper out. "Teams K and L!"

Makoto and I looked at each other. Looks like we'd be facing off against Bakugo and Kirishima. We already had a good idea of what Bakugo's quirk was, but I don't think either of us had a good idea of Kirishima's quirk or his limits.

"Team K will be our heroes and Team L are the villains," All Might explained.

"Perfect," I heard Bakugo say.

I looked over at him to see him already glaring at me, small explosions popping in his hands. I steeled my gaze as I stared him down and he seemed surprised I wasn't backing down from his intimidation tactic. I looked to my left and saw Makoto with a serious look on his face. He looked at me and we both nodded, acknowledging that we had to win.

"Now, everyone else can head to the monitoring rooms to watch," All Might said.

"Yes sir," everyone said as they walked to the monitoring room.

Once everyone had cleared the street with the exception of the two teams, All Might gave us our instructions.

"Bad guys," he started. "You can go in and get set up. In five minutes, the good guys will be let loose and the battle will start."

"Yes sir," the four of us said.

Bakugo and Kirishima started walking in before Bakugo paused. He stood in front of the door and turned back to Makoto and I.

"Don't think for a second I'm going to go easy on you just because you're a girl," he told me.

"Come on, man," Kirishima said. "That's not very manly of you."

"I would be offended if you did go easy on me," I told him. "So if I catch either of you holding back because I'm a girl." I paused. My stare turned into a cold glare. "I will make you regret it."

Kirishima visibly gulped, clearly intimidated, and Bakugo looked surprised that I had the guts to stand up to him. He scoffed and walked into the building. I let out a breath when they both disappeared into the building and turned to Makoto.

"That was badass," he said.

"Thanks," I responded with a laugh. "Now, we need a plan."

"Your quirk is better suited for combat," Makoto said. "So I think it would be better if you distracted both of them while I find and secure the missile. Unless you've suddenly gained the ability to shadow travel somewhere you can't see, that is."

"That's a negative," I said with a chuckle. "Even if I could, traveling with someone else is extremely taxing and I would be pretty much useless if a fight breaks out."

"Okay, so we're going with my first plan?" he asked.

"Sounds good to me," I responded.

"Alright, villains," I heard All Might say in the earpiece I had been given. "Your five minutes are up! Heroes you may enter the building!"

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: So the picture at the top is what Keiko and Makoto's hero costumes look like. The art was done by me, so I own that! I hope you guys liked this chapter and are excited for the next one!

-Sticks

Word Count: 6073 words

[pbandjesse]

My allergies went crazy not long after I got home today. So I am a little bit of a mess. Allergy meds and a shower helped but I don't feel great now. But today was a pretty great day. 

But man it was hot. I slept weird. I woke up a lot. But I was okay when my alarm went off. I got up and got dressed. I felt super cute but I wore those black pants and while I look great in them they do not breathe! So I would get a little over heated a few times. But overall was an excellent outfit choice. 

James drove me to work so he could take the car and run a bunch of errands. It was a quiet ride but it was nice to just be around him. We had a funny moment when he dropped me off because weee driving behind Ellen and she was going a little fast so he yelled at her (playfully) when we all got to the office. It was super silly. But then they yelled James at him and the people who didn't know he went by James now made a big fuss. It was a silly way to start the day. 

And the rest of the day was good. I have given up on being annoyed about helping with check in where they almost never need me and I feel stupid. So I just left and went to the art shed. I honestly use almost that entire time so I don't feel bad. 

I got to work cleaning and setting up. I didn't have my first group until 1030 so I had time to make sure things were ready. 

And then I somehow destroyed my nail and like you're the whole thing and was very sad. So I went and laid down in the hammock. 

Soon the group was here and honestly all the groups today were great. I invited horse camp again. And everyone seemed to have a lot of fun making all the projects. People really like the painting on fabric. And I was told a bunch that they had never done something like that before. And that made me feel good.

But I gotta go find more fabric. I thought I had enough but I was wrong? My plan is to ask Heather tomorrow and if we don't have any to leave early to go to the store and find something. Well see how it goes. I'm not concerned. It's just a timing thing really.

I had a nice lunch break. Took a small nap and listened to a podcast. Some of the YPL teens came to hang out and use my hammock. Which was just fine. I ended up having a really nice conversation with one of them. 

And then the horse girls were here. They are super silly. But a good time. And my next group of little kids was a lot of fun too. One of the kids, the son of a counselor, got absolutely splattered in ink so I'm going to have to apologize to her tomorrow. You turn around for just a second.... 

But they were all great. And I had a really nice day. Though I was very hot. So I decided to go swim again. I was glad to cool down. I love swimming. I spent some time talking to Leshea about who might come help me next week. And it was just nice hanging out. 

I sat on the edge of the pool with the horse girls. I am trying to give space but it for sure is not the 6 feet. Closer to the 3ft that the world health organization suggested. But I am still concerned all the time. We are all trying but it's a bit exhausting. 

I went and got changed. Told James I would be on the porch whenever he got here. But it would take a while. 

That was okay. I enjoyed just sitting on the porch and scrolling on my phone. Talking to Sophie. She said my bag and earrings were cool. Made me feel nice. We also were just yelling with baby Kenny, who learned to say "cheese hat" today. He was going for "cheez it" which was the snack. But ever one hello cheese hat when he did was very silly and fun. 

And when James did finally come everyone played that he was a parent picking up a kid. Made him give his id. Looked for my name in the iPad. Everyone is so silly. And I just felt really happy. 

I was also just happy to be with James. We ordered chipotle and headed out. Saw a truck's tire explode on the highway. But the accident was averted. And we got our dinner and headed home. 

I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. After we ate I laid in the studio but sweetp was very needy and affectionate. Which is why my allergies went wild. We also shared an ice cream sandwich so who knows.

I was pretty unhappy laying there. So eventually I took a shower. And then packed my bag for going to visit Jess this weekend. 

And now I am going to sleep. I hope I have lots of energy tomorrow and that you all have a great day. Take care of each other. 

[dxmedstudent]

Hey dx. Hope you're well. I don't know if you remember this ask, but I'm the anon who asked a few months ago about supporting a friend in med school with depression and finding it a bit much. A lot has happened since then. She's sadly left med school and has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Currently she doesn't really have stable periods and is either high or low. I got kind of ok with having boundaries with texting etc/meet-ups only when actually able to. Part 1

Part 2. Anon supporting friend here. Recently she’s been high and has been messaging me nearly all day every day/asking if I’m there if I take time to reply/constantly updating me on what she’s doing/sending me all her family pictures. I’m finding it really stressful and overwhelming, tried turning off my notifications yesterday but still keeps going. My own anxiety is flaring up and I’m stressed hugely with workload.

Part 3. Anon supporting friend. I’ve told her I take time to reply because I’m stressed/overwhelmed and yet the messages keep coming. I know she’s hypomanic/manic so she probably sees things in a different perspective atm and forgets that it’s too much. I’m wondering whether it’s worth asking her to please message a little less as I find it overwhelming to get so many messages each day, or whether it will just not work as she isn’t in her right mind. Part 4. She has got professional help in place. She’s fallen out with her other friends because they don’t message her when she’s low etc/her best friend has distanced herself from her because she doesn’t know what to say. I don’t want to not be friends but I need to work something out! I’m trying to remember she’s ill but I’m starting to feel unwell too. Any advice?! PS. I know this is an extremely long ask and that you’re very busy, so please take your time if you need            

Hey, I’m glad to hear from you again. I’m so sorry for my late reply; I rread your ask at the time, and thought about it a lot. But I had to take some time to process my own life problems and mental health, and I couldn’t really give most of my asks the time or energy they deserved, so I had to leave them until they could. Which is kind of the theme of this ask, ironically. But I hope late is better than never.  Thank you for your message at the end of your ask, it’s very much appreciated :) I’m so sorry that your friend’s going through a rough time, and that you are, too. I’m so sorry to hear that she left med school; bipolar is a truly difficult illness, she has been on a really tough journey.  I’m glad she has professional support; that’s always a huge deal because the right treatment and support can revolutionise people’s lives. I’ve seen it, and though I don’t think the way we treat mental health is perfect, I do think we can do so much good by acknowledging mental illness and treating it properly. And taking people seriously. I’m glad to hear you started to work out some boundaries that worked for you; it’s tough, but it’s good to hear that you made some progress, even if it doesn’t always work out as  well as you hope, it’s still progress. You’re right to put your own wellbeing first; it’s hard for us to support others if we’re being brought to a mental breakdown ourselves. It’s a hard lesson for us to learn, but you can’t serve others with a broken/empty cup. I think it’s a really fair idea to turn off notifications to avoid overloading yourself. She can keep going; thats OK. You can’t control your friend’s mania, or how ‘full on’ they are; perhaps not even they can. Unfortunately, that’s part of the illness. And it seems you understand that well, deep inside. She might process things differently, and I think you’re an excellent friend for doing your best to support them, and understand what they are going through. I’m putting this under a cut because it’s long.

Everyone reacts differently to being told the truth, so only you will know how they might respond. Sometimes we can just tell people ‘sorry, I’m not feeling well so I might not respond much’. Sometimes we invent excused to be kind or because we aren’t ready to talk about the entire story; in my view, in personal* settings, it’s OK to tell white lies not to hurt people sometimes. I’ve told friends I’ve been sick or oncall when I couldn’t attend events because I was physically exhausted or not feeling well, because I really cared about seeing them but didn’t want them to think I was not coming because I was not bothered. However, with close friends I’m honest, and the vast majority of the time, if I say I’m oncall, it’s because I’m actually oncall. I don’t like fibbing, and I don’t like hurting people’s feelings, so it’s a fine line, but I’d rather feel a bit guilty than make others feel bad. It might be OK if you tell her that you sometimes need time to reply because you are overwhelmed; have you ever discussed your own mental health issues with them? Do they get that you get really anxious or overwhelmed? It might depend on how much insight they have into their own state right now, and perhaps it’d be difficult for them to moderate how they act, or how they feel about it.  However, if you find yourself having to take quite a bit of time to yourself, don’t feel shy to just tell them “I’m not ignoring, you, I just wasn’t feeling well and had to take a break, I’m listening now”. Or you could say “I care about all your messages, and I always read them all, but sometimes I can’t reply to them all at once because I’m busy/overwhelmed/tired/unable to process it all”. If they get upset because you haven’t replied, it might help to reassure them that you do care (because this is, deep down, what they fear”, and that you care about their wellbeing, but that other issues in your life have been stressing you out, too. And that you just didn’t want to bother them with your stress, so needed to take some time out. There are ways of discussing it that don’t outright lay the blame on them, or make out that they are the cause of your problems, when it’s not true, and therefore avoids making them feel guilty for things outside of their control. Something can be not the cause of our problems/stress and still be overwhelming, and if you’re able to be honest with them, I think that’s a good way to put it across.  As well as the idea that in order to be truly there for them, and have enough energy and time to be able to support them, sometiems you need to take time out to process the other things in your life. Work, uni, family, love life, etc, whatever it is. Telling someone “I have a lot of thigns in life that are stressing me out, and draining my energy, and sometimes I need to take some time out to process/fix them, and rest before I can chill with you and help you, and be happy with you, because otherwise I’d spend my time with you stressed and miserable and might make you feel worse” makes sense. I can’t say if that would work for your friend, but I feel a lot of people would understand that. In the end, I am sure they care about you, too. But because of their own illness and issues, deep down they are probably terrified of losing you too. They know that their illness can make things harder for them, harder for those around them, and they probably feel really bad about that; we all beat ourselves up over stuff like that. Reminding them that you care, and want to be there, and want to be strong and rested so you don’t bring them down with your own problems is actually a kindness to them. I remember publishing a similar ask/anwer/post by someone else who answered a similar question, because it reminded me of you and your ask. I hope you saw that, it might be tagged under my #mental health and medicine tag. You come across as a supportive, loving friend who is doing their best, please don’t feel guilty if you have to put yourself first. I hope you and your friend take the time you need to heal. * In professional settings, we’re bound by the rules of probity. We don’t lie in medicine. TBH my parents raised us to NEVER LIE, which makes working in medicine easier because I’m a terrible gulty fibber who likes to follow all the rules and who doesn’t even like parking in the wrong place, much less anything exciting.