#I'm tired of being stared at
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Normalize wearing skirts outside as a masculine presenting person...
#I'm tired of being stared at#Stop calling me a twink. I js like skirts:((#mouthwashing#marion vermosa#marion mouthwashing#marion rps#mouthwashing rp#mouthwashing oc rp#marion sillyposting
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
💕 kuroba first date outfit
OC OUTFIT DOODLE ASKS!
the place kuroba and karamatsu go on their first date to is a pretty expansive garden and requires a lot of walking so the outfit they go with is on more casual comfy side. they definitely put how comfortable it is to move in to the test after having to outrun the rest of the sextuplets trying to sabotage kara's confession plans.
( also, i envision him wearing the outfit from the 2nd anime paradise cafe collab on that date. )
#i'm just now realizing that this outfit has a lot of the same elements as the chill matsu fit i gave them...#whatever ig kuroba is a king who isn't afraid to restyle pieces they've worn before#if i wasn't so tired i'd talk more about the specifics of their first date but alas. my brain ain't wording good rn#i do want to mention that the major reason why the rest of the sextuplets try sabotaging kara's confession plans is actually bc ->#oso's pissed at kuro bc of the whole '' hypocritically getting mad at kara forgetting them '' thing and is being overly protective of kara#he definitely doesn't frame his sudden disapproval in that way to the others tho. he just acts like he's pissed that kara's ->#gonna be the first one to start dating someone and riles everyone else up with that line of thinking#stares at the ask i got from laur about kuro's dynamic with the brothers....#tbh i was gonna use that as an excuse to talk about their dynamic w/ oso bc it ended up being a lot more complex than i initially planned#okay i'm about to fall asleep at my desk i need to sleep 😭#osmt#osomatsu-san oc#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#ship : kurokara#mj draws#asks
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:
She'd rebuild it—what she had been.
Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.
Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."
"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.
"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."
"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.
Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.
Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.
At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.
In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.
She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.
Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."
A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.
She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."
Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."
"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."
Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.
"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."
"I do know."
"And?"
"And what do you wish me to say?"
She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"
"If what?"
"If you wish it wasn't so."
His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"
She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.
It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.
"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."
She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.
"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."
She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"
"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."
"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."
"Then it is her choice, not yours."
Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."
"What did she show you?" A breathless question.
Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."
She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."
His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"
She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.
Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."
She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.
"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.
"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."
A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"
"We'll face it together," he swore again.
"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.
Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."
"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."
She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.
"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."
She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.
She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"
"I thought you might want to be asked first."
"That never stopped you before."
"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.
She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."
He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.
"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."
The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.
"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.
Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.
Together.
#Chapter 41#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#soulmates#mates#spoilers and notes in tags cause this chapter and also spoilers in post cause this chapter first read react with me read along#Rowaelin chapters scenes moments quotes#they want to make it possible bring that love to light#am I allowed to cry? — Again the word endured — finally the dream — the sand she still sees — he’s magic being steady — them talking time#again if Maeve could convince Rowan Lyria was his mate how bad was it when she convinced Aelin her actual mate was dead… this hurts me…#the fact Aelin stopped being useful because it destroyed her beyond belief but the dreams the dreams almost got her because its all she wan#again then both feeling sorry and the other not realizing and then consent and then comfort and love & I just wanted it2be U how could I no#I know you are tired Fireheart (ALL THE TROPES IN ONE LINE… UGH I MISSED THIS SHIP)#together. one soul in two bodies. their endgame like literally they are. I’d choose you too. even the apologies that were needed just heali#what it might have once been — together — not alone — not returning alone — the king and queen of Terrasen — I need u more — 2 whatever end#Aelin watched the boat until it disappeared trying not to stare too long at the clean unstained sand beneath her boots#always north — she didn’t care she just wanted far away — who knew — what she knew-the letters she sent-Valg-dark blood that had turned red#If it had been another dreamscape or some fragment that had blended into the very real memory of Connall's death. — always a plab&theory#all these things to deal with later-she’d rebuild all she had been-her match helper mirror-matched his piercing stare with her own-wait/res#A far cry from a queen's chamber or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin. — how far we’ve come-she had ENDURED she can do it#I'm your mate she said needing to voice it. And you are mine. — Lyria. — I do know. and?&what do you wish me to say?-this was perfect#If what? If you wish it wasn't so. His brows narrowed. Why would I ever wish that? — Aelin. she looked at him at the pain in his words#the way it's changed since Mistward... and grown... even in names like Whitethorn Galathynius together — the brain thoughts are back —#The kiss was gentle-light. Letting her decide how to guide it. So she did. — he’d do it all night if that was what’s he wished#Together we'll find a way their mingling breaths the crashing sea seemed to echo. Together. — mountains and oceans#Might’ve been before-thought snapped-the bond- u r my mate&I am urs-the world might have been burning for all she cared all he cared too#Together they would face this together they would find a way. — claiming him as he claimed her — a scar a marker a tattoo
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
alright friends i'm not gonna lie i wouldn't mind if the byler kiss had will leaning in first. or like. will kissing mike first on impulse during a heated moment. and then he regrets it immediately after because he thinks mike doesn't reciprocate (even though he obviously does) because mike just stands there for a second like 🧍🏻♂️ before swooping in to kiss will back
#im tired doesthis make sense#anyway. just a concept#i feel like a lot of takes have mike kissing will first but im gonna be honest i think will kissing mike impulsively is more realistic#<- like. at a point where he's 90% sure mike reciprocates but he's had these feelings bottled up for so long that he can't take it anymore#and just. finds himself kissing mike before he even knows what's happening#so he has his “oh fuck” moment when mike is just standing there staring at him. Bug Eyed 🐛#because he's fucked everything up hasn't he??? what the fuck was he thinking???? mike ISN'T like him#only for mike to crush his lips against will's like 10 seconds later and they make out sloppy#(and they're clumsy about it DO NOT FORGET THE CLUMSY OKAY)#(((GIVE ME THEM SMILING AGAINST EACH OTHERS' LIPS. ESP MIKE OKAY))))))#oh my god i thought of smthn even better. will leaning away from kissing mike and being like “i'm sorry i shouldn't hav-”#only for mike to INTERRUPT HIM WITH A KISS oh. giggles and kicks my feet#alr we are starting to tread in fanfic trope territory and these tags are getting long. im done now#stranger things#byler#mike wheeler#will byers#st.txt
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
i want to crawl under my desk and go to sleep
#that is not possible because i cannot fit under there#damn it#i want a nest man#somewhere nice and cozy and just for me where i can stare at the wall for hours#that sounds.. good#btw i'm really tired of not being a pretty boy like what the fuck#lol the mental illness really shining through tonight#but i opened pinterest and almost burst into tears because there was a pretty guy and i am not him#sigh i guess i have to be this horrible thing until i die#unfair really#i need to be medicated i think it would help#i just haven't felt great the last few days#wait. couple of weeks?#i can't remember.#but i don't feel like me.#at least i have my stupid otome soundtrack to keep me company sing at me pretty anime boys.#lol watch me delete this in 9 minutes or smth#unless i forget#idk i just wanted to vent i guess don't read this shit#i'm happy nice aerie really. just not right now#god it's only 7:45#at least my hair is clean i guess#sigh#diaerie#delete later
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Im fighting so hard to be more social and we're actually kinda... Content for despite everything
SO WHY THE FUCK DO I JUST WANNA CRAWL AWAY AND HIDE AND BURN IT IT ALL DOWN AGAIN UGHHHHHH
#ive been staring at messages i WANT to reply to for a week#and the rest of the system is pretty content right now#were doing better! i can feel it!#so WHY THE HELL do I just want to pull away from everything and fuck everything up and make us all start over again???#i dont actually want that!!!! so why do i want to do the things that would cause that????#its even as bad as parts of me being like QUIT THE NEW JOB. FUCK EVERYTHING. and I DONT WANT THAT ughhhhh#and- as far as I'm aware I'm not a subsystem this is actually parts of me that are just annoying#I'm SO tired of being a fucking prosecutor alter sometimes#vessel talk
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
wailing at the sky I'm tired ! ! ! ! ! !
#just me hi#ik i'm testy rn and i should take a nap but ouuhhrrr#consistently on drives i've been just. dropping energy like nothing#like on the way to wherever i'm good i'm floating it's great. but then on the way back it's just. Bleugh kfshv#and then my legs get tired cuz i can't stretch !! i'm dyinggg out here#hate being tired. hate being sleepy. wish i could banish the neepy forever tbh#however the awesome embrace of sleep is pretty good so i guess it's a trade i'll have to be content with. sigh#wah. blah. bloo. ouhrr#//anyway let me tell you abt smth really nice now hfhvbsh :>#so i was just sitting down last night doing.. smth i don't rember lol and my youngest siblings come over like ':3 we have something for you#which is immediately suspicious and i was measuring the level of child-safe violence they were going to be subjected to lmao; but i asked#what it was and they handed me this little paper bag full of little bracelets and beads and hair clippies ????#and the bag said 'we appreciate your existence' And had oath's little symbol on the front dude are you KIDDING ME#if it wasn't for the fact i did not want to scare them i would have cried. it was very very sweet and i wish i wasn't so flat irl kfvshg#there were 2 bracelets n one of them says 'space buddy' (tears in funkin eyes) and the other one says 'pink space'#'pink space' has the 'ace' part highlighted Do You Understand What They've Done To Me#dude. dude. [<- big wet eyeballs staring at the horizon]#i need to like. hbwauhhhhhhhh#i love them so ??? i need to explode them asap lmfshvg#/anyway putting this here cuz i don't wanna forget kfhghfs#i don't think leo reads these tags so Lmaoo 💥 get 'Unknowing of Things'ed loser#//okey i'm gonna go melt into a puddle of ice cream now#oouuuu here i go... toodles lol :3
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry to be one of these people but. if you watch more than two films a day do you pay attention to what it is you're watching. can you digest them a little bit
#just can't fathom multiple films a day. but notoriously I am very very slow in everything I do & particularly mind-wise#I'm not a true cinephile :-( or bookworm for that matter. another speed-issue & also my headaches. downside of obtaining#pdfs through nefarious means is that I don't own them physically; I want to read & I have to stare at a screen for hours. makes them worse#unrelated to the original post but I think I'm gonna start using a bedside book of poetry or something... I have the complete emily#dickinson & that would be better to read through instead of being on my phone. or any of my favourites really; the lion in winter perhaps#something I don't/won't get tired of; anything I already own physically. I've been meaning to reread frankensteinnn#this is all at night I mean. the whole screens impacting quality of sleep thing. I'm also tired all the time I think they're related#this fleeting thought became such a ramble. good morning#log
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i'm so tired of getting yelled at and being scolded by my grandmother#i now understand my mom#you tell my grandma a thing and she goes 'i don't believe you. you're only saying that and do nothing.'#*stares into the distance*#anyway#a bit of playing after breakfast#and then it's going outside#personal
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i reject your reality and substitute my own when it comes to the word of god about how Donnie has perfect sight and doesn’t need glasses but I'm a big fan of the idea that as a softshell his eyes were initially more built to work well underwater, not on dry land, so he needed glasses when he was a kid, but he gradually adapted to the life on land and his sight corrected itself
#rottmnt#but because i like don with glasses i'm also gonna hc that his eyesight gets tired when he stares at screen for too long#and he needs them on separate ocassions#so you sometimes can catch a rare sight of a cryptid softshell getting pepsi from the fridge at 3 in the morning with his framed eyes glowi#that or he just switched to contacts when he started using goggles#it's super uncomfy to wear those with your glasses#and all of the species of the turtles except mikey are aquatic in rise#but it seems like softshells are the ones who can't really stand being on land too well#i feel like leo also needed glasses but is more reluctant to wearing them because ~image~
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
sigh these days it really is just like: i want to create but unfortunately i have the eepy little creature disease
#every day i wake up and i'm tired#doing the internship is rough my guys#it's been a month and wow it sure has been a lot#somehow all this tiredness is really fucking with my mind tho#i feel so useless when i manage to do nothing#no writing no edits#just daydreaming about the things i could make#if i had more days in my week#and i didn't waste most of my free hours just#watching dramas and staring at the boys#that being said: time for sleep
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
every so often I come across a piece of fiction where Character A expresses to Character B that Character B does not truly love them, because if you really loved me, you would have abandoned that belief you have, broken that rule you have, given up this way of life you've valued since before I ever came into it, I'm not even saying you have to do it always but you should do it for me, I should be the exception, and if you won't then you don't love me, you never have!
and I find myself thinking wow, how cruel is that, to declare that you must be the singularly most important thing in someone's life at all times, that they must be willing to abandon everything they believe in for your wants or their love isn't real, how cruel to say they must abandon a part of themselves for your satisfaction, to declare that the way they do love you is so insufficient as to be unrecognisable because it isn't exactly what you want
and then I go to engage with the fandom and everybody thinks Character A is unquestionably correct in all ways and Character B is a terrible person
and I just
hm.
#me#I'm like 'I'd like to see some discussion about how cruel this is to Character B!'#'this is an interesting story about boundaries and things you cannot give!'#and then everybody else is like 'wow Character B should have abandoned everything they believe in!'#'Their way of life should be meaningless in the face of Real Expressions Of Love!'#and I'm just left. staring.#it's tiring#sometimes I even find media where two characters are mature about having incompatible beliefs and ways of life#and have had healthy discussions about it and come to an agreement they are both content with even if they have some wistful thoughts#AND THEN THE FANDOM ADDS THIS DYNAMIC ON TOP OF IT IN ALL THE FANWORKS#I'm just. tired atm I think. of this specific thing#tired of the unspoken background radiation assumption that a Way Of Life cannot possibly be the most important thing to you#That that being the case is some sort of betrayal#it hits some personal buttons quite hard I think#and I keep running into it
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know, I keep thinking about how much I'd get written if I had any self discipline at all and then like. doing nothing about it bc like. who's gonna enforce it? not me.
#personal;#like the biggest issue I have is that like#once my laptop is on then at MOST I have until I catch up on tumblr#before I habitually open XIV#and once XIV is open nothing's gonna get done#days I do chores I do them in the morning before the laptop is on specifically for this reason (that and any later and I'm too tired)#like I know- I /know/- what I need in order to get myself to write. I know all the little things#but I don't have the self discipline bc by the time i remember i was gonna XIV is open#and the day is dedicated to dissociation of varying levels depending on what's happening in XIV#or if I get distracted with a game on my tablet#and like....I love my son but his insistence on being in my lap doesn't help#bc being unable to move makes it hard to not just fucking dissociate#but even if I kick him off he's back in like 5m and it gets frustrating if i try#the deck is stacked so SO against me#plus like.....#even if I do the thing what validation will I get??#and if no validation it's hard to even pretend to tru to start#plus the longer I go without writing like. an object at rest will stay at rest#at this point I think I'm lowkey terrified of trying to write and just staring at an empty document or putting out shit no one understands#hhnnngggg#anyway I've rambled enough for the morning I'm not trying to depression spiral here
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh i just learned that when i'm in north carolina with family in june there'll be a 4 day beach trip and i can already. feel the anxiety 😨
#i'm not. TOO self conscious about my body#i mean there's 5 people who regularly see me naked#but i've got scars and shit#people love to stare and i'm so tired of it#hm well#swim trunks and a tshirt will do the trick#i do like swimming and being at the beach#don't like getting stared at lmao
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌲
#between casual political discussion with coworkers (practicing patience for me lol) and reading Jayber Crow and having garden season upon us#it's a good thing I do not often act impulsively or I'd drop everyone and run away into the woods#or I'd drop everything and buy a cow#or some chickens like my neighbors#and I know it's mostly the hormones talking but I hate it when people blindly adopt opinions without doing even the slightest bit of resear#*research#and they get angry at what they perceive as injustice without...the research#isn't it EXHAUSTING being so angry all the time?#I don't want to be like that I really don't#and I know that's the point lol#I know the whole point is to keep people idly and uselessly angry#at the world and 'opponents' and their own friends and family#and all of it amounts to so little#it happens on both sides#(I hate saying sides but you know what I mean)#on my end we've got people crying about how the world is so horrible and terrible as if humanity has just discovered cruelty#and how that must mean it's the end of the world#meanwhile I'm reading Jayber Crow and they're staring down the War to End All Wars and like???#not to diminish the State of Things but I think....I think it's always been this way#and I'm just so tired#I want some trees and a cow and to mind my own business and for people to just...chill#and to stop pushing around wheelbarrows full of rocks to create hills to die on#anyway it's 5:00#I'm gonna go home and walk my dog in the sunshine and then eat something delicious for supper
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you ever feel the immense urge to destroy everything you have and/or worked on and destroying your entire identity and running away and starting again? Not with any apparent reason, I'm not talking about "traumatic event means I gotta go now" book trope, I mean just out of the blue? I'm trying so hard to keep myself from deleting all of my accounts of everything I've done over the years, and also from tossing out all of my art and materials irl, as well as my plants, and everything else, and dropping out of uni and the undergrad research and all, and just going hell knows where, because also this country is kind of really concentrated in very few places.
#I'm so tired man#I keep on staring at my kalanchoe and other succulents that aren't doing all that hot because they're too complicated for the ''hot dry#blistering sun or pouring gloomy cold weather'' dichotomy of this city and it is literally taking all of my being to not want to toss them#out with the gardening supplies and all#also my impulses to want to delete my galleries and my Neopets accounts and everything I've got left after the last spree and just starting#anew yet again and like no I can't explain why all I can do is hold myself back#the worst is that I don't really have anyone anymore to talk to I dropped therapy and everyone else's sick and tired of me whining#all I can do is try to keep myself together and not do anything stupid#personal#mental health
1 note
·
View note