#I'm thinking of maybe posting few at a time this time instead of one at a timeđ¤
Sweetie Todd
Men are soo desperate. Itâs honestly a bit too easy. Do you know how many virgin losers I have at my disposal? They will do anything they can, just for a picture of my tits, anything for a bit of female attention. Take this little fairy for example. He dmâd me on Insta only a few weeks back.
âHey I like your pics.â He said, âany way I can see you with the clothes off? đâ
In the past, I would kick these pervs to the curb. Block, ignore, sometimes even report. But some were so desperate they actually offered to pay me. Just for a pic of my nips or even my feet. At first I declined, but times are tough, and a girlâs gotta eat, right?
So I let them. Iâd let them cashapp me in exchange for a pic or two. It felt kind of dirty, but I told myself girls will do much worse for much less.
But they kept asking for more, instead of appeasing them, they kept asking for more. The money came in, sure, but I would quickly run out of content if I indulged them with every transaction. There's only so many ways to take a tit pic, and I refuse to subject myself to much more than that.
I quickly learned that if I strung them along, they would become even more desperate. One guy started to annoy me, becoming particularly pushy, so I told him to go fuck himself. Tell me why he literally sent me a video of him shoving a dildo up his ass less than 24 hours later?! It was gross, but that got me thinking...
If he was willing to do that just to see a pic of me, what else could I make these desperate little dorks do?
I told a guy to eat cat food, told another to fuck the crease of the couch cushions, even suggested to another that he stick his head in doo doo he found at the dog park.
They all did it. Every. Single. One. And they even paid me for the privilege!!
When I posted a video of a guy slamming a baseball bat between his legs and thanking me with every bash of his balls, the messages really started flooding in.
Men everywhere were begging to be dominated and, I'm not gonna lie, I kinda liked it. The attention was nice, my followers grew exponentially, and the money was pouring in. I didn't even have to show my tits anymore, just had to tell them to shove a tampon up their ass and keep it in for the rest of the day.
Virgin after pathetic virgin started subbing.
Eventually, my little 'tasks' for them became more and more devious. Buying and wearing a pair of panties was too easy. I wanted the full ensemble, and I wanted them to walk through their favorite sports bar with it on.
Some checked out at that point, but others, the most dedicated and desperate, stayed.
Then, I found it. One sub was being particularly whiney, so I suggested he go buy a pack of Depends diapers for being such a baby. He did, and it was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. A grown man wearing nothing but a diaper and sucking on his thumb is truly a sight to see! Even better when you make them squat down and shit themselves. Even the most dedicated were absolutely broken at that point. It reduces them to nothing. I've taken control of everything at that point, all the way down to when and wear they use the bathroom. Yes, they now have to beg me (pay me) to poop their pampers. They have to pay extra if they want to cum, and they don't get to change their filthy diaper before they do.
This picture you see is of Todd. He's an investment banker. Todd originally messaged me for pictures of my feet and maybe a little domination here or there, I don't really remember. At this point, I don't really care. He got put through the ringer just like the rest of them. I do specifically remember him throwing a fit when he first had to wear the diaper. Or 'nappy', as he calls it, because apparently that's how they say it in Britain where he's from.
He told me 'no' at first. Said he'd never do it. That he was 'too much of a man' for that.
"Okay." was all I said, and left it at that.
Two weeks later, he'd sent me a pic of the nappies he bought. That's another thing I've learned too: when you push a guy's limits, he may resist at first, but eventually the horny/submissive brain always wins. They will do anything to please. Anything for a little attention.
But Todd didn't get to just wear diapers, no no. His dumbass tried to tell me he's 'too much of a man'. So now he gets to wear nothing but frilly dresses when he's at home. I randomly send check-ins to ensure he's doing as he's told. If not, he's punished. It's easy to get them to do what I want, because every day I just accrue more and more pictures/videos to blackmail them with if they refuse.
Todd got to suck his first dick the other day at some random truck stop! He swears up and down that he's not gay--and I actually believe him--but I also don't care. It's way too entertaining to see diaper dorks suck a dick for baby batter and thank me for it while they gargle it in their mouth.
One of my subs also let me in on a little thing called a 'chastity device', so guess what Todd will be putting on and sending me the key to? I'm sure he'll earn it back at some point. Three, maybe six months from now, I'll mail it back to him. If he's a good baby gurl, that is...
~~~~~~~~
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the moth and the flame part 9: the yearning
poly!Nessian x f!Reader
summary: after meeting Nesta in a bookshop, you find the darkest parts of yourselves bonding with each other. Naturally, Cassian finds himself entangled with the two of you.
warnings: light smut
a/n: this series is officially completely written, so I'm hoping to post the last parts this month!
series masterlist
You didnât truly feel like yourself around them anymore. Instead, youâd become the version of yourself you carefully crafted and molded to please them. To make them happy. To your dismay, you hated it, but not as much as you thought you shouldâve.Â
âA version of you, custom built for Nesta and Cassian,â you thought bitterly, because apparently who you were before just wasnât good enough. Would never be good enough. They called it your âlowest,â but you thought they just couldnât love you when you were yourself.Â
That, or you were an addict with people pleasing tendencies, leading you right down these lines of thinking. In the end, you supposed there truly was no one but yourself to blame, but it was always much easier for you to blame other people.Â
The high road was boring, youâd much rather be your chaotic self than a watered down version. With that in mind, you wrapped a jacket around your shoulders and took off into the night. Both Cassian and Nesta were out of town, and you had a few old haunts to track down, perhaps a friend or two who could help you out. You were good for the money, they knew that. It was time to test just how far your partnerâs reach went, and just how much influence theyâd attempted to extend in order to keep you how they wanted you.Â
You didnât make it far. Just seconds after you passed the threshold of your door, feet hitting the landing, the downstairs one slid open and two very familiar scents drifted in. Spring, but winter sunrise and snow chilled wind threatened to transport you somewhere else. The earlier hint of animosity you felt towards them vanished so easily you kicked yourself for it. Trying and failing to summon that back, you slid into your apartment and quickly shed your jacket and shoes.Â
Questions about what you were planning on doing wouldnât be good, because you had no solid explanation and if anything they hadnât let you get away with vague answers recently.Â
A lump formed in your throat. You were doing the opposite of what youâd vowed not to just moments ago. To keep the peace. To keep them happy. To keep yourself from going over the edge. Two of out three for them, just one for you, and it didnât seem fair. It wasnât fair.Â
Key clicked in the locked, the door swung open, a gorgeous female and male appeared in your doorway.Â
Swinging around, mouth parted lightly, careful to keep eyes wide, feigning surprise, you found a genuine sort of joy did fill you. They still had that effect on you.Â
âHello sweetheart,â Cassian strode in first, Nesta hot on his heels. After kicking his shoes off, he covered the distance between you in moments. His arms felt like home, like safety, like solace. A smaller, but still strong pair of arms wound around your waist from behind.Â
âWeâre happy youâre here,â Nesta whispered, as if theyâd been afraid youâd be somewhere else. You didnât like that. But ... keep the peace, you told yourself, not wanting to lose hold of that genuine joy that had gripped you, you brushed the words off. For them, youâd roll with any waves or punches, give everything you might not get back, do whatever it took to show your love.Â
For you, love and hatred danced and blurred an already fine line.Â
It had been so long for the three of you, that when the glances and looks grew bolder, none of you hesitated.Â
When their grip on you tightened slightly, with a type of longing you didnât remember feeling before, you leaned into it and let it anchor you. Maybe sex could be a new kind of drug to drag you to new and different highs. The thought was dangerous. Your actions were dangerous. Everything about this reeked of danger but you threw yourself into it regardless.Â
Cassianâs hand ran down your thigh, pausing to squeeze right above your knee, his finger tips digging in. âBeautiful,â he murmured, almost to himself, as he pushed the fabric of your dress up further, pushing back on your shoulders to splay you out on your bed, not unlike a feast.Â
Nesta crawled up next to you, her mouth kissing at your shoulder, then your breast, tongue darting at all of the sensitive areas surrounding your nipples except them. Cassian kissed up your inner thigh.Â
Each movement was so tender, so sweet, and so full of something you couldnât stand. You didnât deserve it. You were broken and fucking unworthy. It felt like everything but love, and you couldnât handle it a moment longer.Â
âStop,â you were barely breathing as you said the word, your heart thundering in your chest.Â
Both froze in place, you slowly sat up, shifting sideways and taking care to avoid any contact with them.Â
-
Nesta could only watch as you wiggled around them like they were diseased and any touch might kill you.
You grabbed your clothes, throwing them on your body haphazardly, dressing like you were running away from a one night stand.Â
Never. Youâd never shut anything down like this, and selfishly her first thought was what the hell had she done wrong, rather than what you might be going through. Nothing had been aggressive or rough or ... a door slammed. Then another. More clothes rustled.Â
âI was just giving her a head start,â she heard Cassian say, âbut I'm not letting her wander out there alone.âÂ
Her vision wasnât really there, all she felt was the rejection. âIâll stay here in case she comes back.âÂ
Not that youâd be able to escape Cassianâs monitoring from the sky, even in you wanted to, but she couldnât quite track him down with you.Â
It didnât feel right, not when sheâd already had one foot out the door.Â
For someone with one foot out the door, she realized she was taking the rejection rather hard.Â
Letting her nerves steel with a few breaths, she set about straightening up your apartment instead. It would give her something to do, and maybe show you just how little she was moved by your actions.Â
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general taglist: @rowaelinsdaughter @bookishbroadwaybish @nestaismommy @erencvlt @book-obsessed124Â @callsigns-haze
acotar taglist: @lilah-asteria @yeonalie @I-am-a-lost-girl16
series taglist: @breadsticks2004 @shamelessdonutkryptonite @rowaelinsdaughter @fightmedraco @acourtofbatboydreams @readinggeeklmao @krowiathemythologynerd @kooterz @anxious-study @lilah-asteria @nestaismommy
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guarana drama, damage control
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Scheming :)
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Uni lecture is making me think about my future for a minute and auuuggghhhh the agonies
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I guess I'll be doing it! Fairytale dresses 2.0 will be here this spring/summerđđ¸đť
Feel free to send suggestions/requests of Stranger Things girlies and dressesâ¨ď¸
Glee Fairytale Dresses 2021
I do have dresses picked out for the main ST girlies, most of them aren't set in stone until I start to draw them! I had trouble picking them so suggestions are very welcomeđđť El, Max, Robin, Nancy and Erica take 5/9 dresses, and I forgot about most of the side characters so I don't think I have the right amount to do them all so please help??.
I thought about drawing Karen and Joyce, then Karen reminded me of Holly and that would be so cute but young children are hard to draw. I completely forgot about Chrissy, Vickie, Barb and Suzie, the only side character girlies I remebered were Heather and Angelađ. That's 9 characters that'd have to fight for 4 dresses so I don't know what I'm doing, who should be left out? Or do I just choose 5 more dressed to do all 14 girls?? Or is there more I'm forgetting aboutđ
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Not a gold digger
pairing: Max Verstappen x reader
summary: Fans think you only want Max's money. But as it turns out, you were wealthy before he came into your life--you just don't make it obvious.
warnings: No smut, but there's a part that makes me say MDNI.
note: So... I'm kinda back? Idk, I'll see if I'll stick around.
The toxicity of the fandom was becoming quite entertaining, really. It was the third time since you and Max had made your relationship public half a year ago that someone started an anti gold digger campaign to protect your boyfriend. They truly believed they were doing this for a greater good, and they all begged Max for his attention.
It always began after they sniffed out he had given you something expensive as a gift or took you shopping to a luxury boutique. While there were some people who tried to protect you by pointing out that maybe he enjoyed showering you with gifts, the rest didn't care about that.Â
You lived in a small apartment back home, you were driving a five years old Renault SUV, and no one knew what you did for a living. This was enough to enrage them and make them believe all you wanted was Max's money at the end of the day. Just think about the way she's looking at him, one of them wrote about two months ago, she's so clearly not in love with him. Poor Max, someone please save him.Â
Ridiculous.
âIs everything okay?â he asked when he got home and kissed the top of your head.Â
You were sitting in his sim rig, using the time while it was free to practice, because you wanted to play with him when you weren't here together, and he was more than happy to show you the basics. âSomeone started another campaign to cancel me,â you replied casually as you got out with his help.Â
Even when you were standing in front of him, he didn't let go of your hand, instead he raised it to his lips to place a soft kiss on its back. âGold digging?â You nodded with a sad look on your face, but less than five seconds later you were both laughing. âLook, I know you're having way too much fun with this, butââ
Without waiting for him to finish, you raised your hand to make him stop. âI'm not stepping out of the shadows, Max. I've been hiding for years, even fucking Forbes doesn't know my real name or face,â you told him.
Back in the old days, when Bitcoin appeared, your geeky uncle had gotten into mining and trading it. He knew the potential, so he put most of his savings into buying them, then he held onto them, and by the time he got sick years later, he knew they were valuable and would be worth a lot more in the upcoming years. In his will, he left his savings and his wallet to you, giving you the chance to use them as you wished since you had learned everything about crypto from him.
So now you had Bitcoin as well as old fashioned investments, and you had used your money to help out an up-and-coming tech company for a forty percent share, and it was later sold to a tech giant for a lot of money. But despite your wealth, you chose to stay under the radar, because you loved your small apartment, and you weren't about to trade it for some fancy penthouse.Â
You had met Max the year before in Las Vegas. F1 was a sport you watched with your uncle while he was still alive, and you were hell-bent on getting a VIP pass for the weekend. If you asked your boyfriend, he would say it was love at first sight, but in reality he was just annoyed by you. For a solid ten seconds, he would correct you every time you talked about it.
You agreed that you would hide in Max's apartment until this latest campaign died down, which gave you some time to spend together in peace. Every now and then you checked the tags to see how things were going, and after the silence of the past few days, today your name was trending again. Ready to have a good laugh, you opened the tag, but the most popular post gave you a minor stroke.
âOh, fuck me,â you yelled as you launched your phone into the couch.
Max pulled the headset down to his neck as he looked over at you. âIs everything okay?â You raised your finger to your lips as if you wanted him to stay quiet, but luckily he got the message. âI'm muted. So?â
You grabbed your phone and went over to him. âThey know. One of those idiots from the company I helped back in the day posted a tweet to protect me, saying that if it wasn't for me being an angel investor, they wouldn't be millionaires now,â you summarized as you gave him the device.
He scrolled through a series of tweets, and found a post from a journalist of Forbes in which he promised a proper investigative piece based on this info. He handed you the phone, then wrapped an arm around your waist. âIt's okay, schatje. I know that's not what you wanted, but maybe they'll stop with the recurring hate campaign now,â he tried. âAnd if youâre worried about the article⌠Donât be. There is nothing compromising about you. Yes, you inherited the money, but you have proven you know what to do with it.â
âMaybe youâre right,â you admitted with a sigh.Â
âIâm usually right. Câmere,â he said as he reached out to pull you closer, but you glanced over at the camera. Rolling his eyes, he quickly turned it off, then gave you an expectant look. âWill you hug me now? And I want a kiss too.â
With a laugh, you leaned down to wrap your arms around his neck and gave him a soft kiss. But he wanted more, his hand slowly sneaked under your shorts, his fingers running over your clothed cunt before he decided to pull your panties aside and dip a finger between your folds. You moaned into the kiss, but he pulled away a second later to lick his finger clean.Â
Shaking your head with a chuckle, you patted his shoulder and walked back to the couch. You could feel Maxâs eyes on you the whole time, and when you looked at him again, he flashed a devilish smile at you. âI should quit the stream. Now that I had a taste, I want more,â he told you.Â
âIâm not going anywhere, just try to be patient.â
He looked back at the screen, then put the headset back on his head and unmuted his mic. âSorry, I have to go. See you next time,â he told the others, then logged out. You couldnât remember the last time he left the sim rig this fast, and only a few seconds later he was kneeling in front of you, eagerly reaching up to pull your shorts off you.
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f1gossips: Breaking news! Turns out Max Verstappen's girlfriend isn't a gold digger after all as she has her own fortune according to the investigative article published by Forbes. Will the fans apologize?
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user2: And here I was, thinking she's just a greedy airhead...
user3: Easy to be wealthy with your uncle's money.
âł user4: Have you read the whole thing? She invested the money and helped out several startups--that later became pretty successful--as an angel investor. Yes, maybe she inherited a lot of money, but she knows what to do with it.
âł user5: May I remind you how many F1 drivers started their careers with their families's money?
user6: Told you she wasn't a gold digger. Suck it, haters.
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maxverstappen1: If you don't buy your girlfriend gifts every once in a while, you're a bad boyfriend. I love to spoil her, it's not a crime. I love her, I'm proud of her, and you can send us as much hate as you want, it will only make us stronger.
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername: I'd be perfectly fine without the gifts, I already told you.
âł maxverstappen1: I don't care.
landonorris: You're absolutely right!
âł maxverstappen1: You're single, how would you know?
âł landonorris: Just FYI, I've been in relationships before.
danielricciardo: You're so disgustingly smitten with her. (I love you both.)
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June 14th 2024 Developer Q&A (from the official BioWare Discord)Â - Complete transcript
Under a cut due to length.
Update:Â This post has now been updated into a word-for-word transcript.
[Link to video recording of Q&A]Â |Â [Link to equivalent post for second Q&A (August 30th)] |Â [Link to video recording for second Q&A]
Update:Â This post has now been updated into a word-for-word transcript.
If you would like to listen to the Q&A for yourself in video format, or listen to it again, Ghil Dirthalen recorded it and has now uploaded a video of it here. This blog post is linked in the description under the video. ( ˜´ ᾠ`˜ )
Corinne Busche, John Epler, Matt Rhodes and Community Manager Katey were the devs that were there.
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Katey: Hello!
John: Hello.
Katey: Beautiful, your mic sounds beautiful. How's everybody doing?
John: Excellent. I, just as a headsup, I have some folks doing some service, in the next room so, if I, if you hear background noise, that's what that is.
Katey: No worries at all. Well I hope that everybody who's been waiting in here is really excited, because I'm super excited. I'm Katey. I'm the Community Manager. If you don't already know, you can usually see my name at the top of this Discord server. But I'm joined here with some awesome guests that I'll let introduce themselves. Let's start with Corinne.
Corinne: Can you hear me okay?
John: Yep.
Katey: Yep, we can hear you beautifully.
Corinne: Great, perfect. I'm Corinne Busche, Game Director of Dragon Age: The Veilguard.
John: Awesome. I'm John Epler, Creative Director of Dragon Age: The Veilguard.
Corinne: John!
John: Hello.
Katey: And then we've also got Matt Rhodes, who may be struggling to find the unmute button which is at the bottom left.
Corinne: Our, our resident artist-poet, Matt Rhodes.
Katey: I could unmute him, actually, I don't know if I can unmute him, but if he needs help, he can message me on the side.
John: The joys of being a giant nerd is I spend a lot of time on Discord anyway, so.
Corinne: Well there you go, right?
Katey: Fair enough. Alright, well, we have a ton of questions to answer. We probably won't be able to get to all of them today. You all have sent in so many really really great answers, sorry, questions for us to answer. And if we don't get to them today, we're hoping to be able to do things like this in the future. So without further ado, I'll get started. First question's a bit of a soft ball, I feel. If you could belong to any of the main factions shown in the game, which would you choose?
Corinne: I mean, listen Katey, you say softball, but like, this is hard! Iâm gonna cheat, and Iâm gonna give you two. So for fashion, the Antivan Crows, all day long. Their threads, youâre gonna love it. For vibes, though, like the ones that capture my vibe, Mourn Watch. Gimme those necromancers.
John: Those are good answers. I have, I have one for fashion, and also for, just general faction Iâd like to be a part of. Veil Jumpers. Who doesnât like a nice walk in the forest, yâknow? Even if that forest is filled with horrifying monsters and terrifying anomalies, but yeah.
Katey: I love that. I know that Matt has a few technical issues â oh, heâs unmuted. There we go. Or maybe not. Thatâs okay, I think we can move on.
John: The Fade has taken Matt.
Corinne: Thatâs right, thatâs right.
Katey: Yes. One quick thing, if you check your settings, the cog-wheel in the bottom left, make sure that your voice, like, your audio is all good. If youâre still hearing the music, feel free to maybe, force-quit Discord and rejoin by just joining the stage directly. And mute the music before you come in. Okay. I can move on to the next question for now. Iâve seen, so this question was from Acra. Iâve seen a lot of talk about only having two companions in your party instead of three for this game. What is the reasoning behind this and will we still get the same companion conversations and banter as seen in the previous Dragon Age games?
Corinne: Ooh, this is such a good question. Thankyou, whoever submitted this one. Yeah, Iâll guess Iâll start and then Iâll turn it over to John Epler. So, first of all, as you saw in the gameplay reveal, this is a much more intimate experience. Weâve pulled the camera in. For those that arenât aware, the reason why is we want you to feel like you actually are in this world, right? Like, youâre walking these city streets of Minrathous, youâre looking up, seeing the buildings all around you, youâre a part of this place. So itâs much more intimate, and we believe as the narrative unfolds this creates a lot more immersion. Now, how that relates to companions is in doing this, we went back and forth on it a lot, but we actually found, with this perspective, having two companions, really allows them more visibility and presence. Weâve talked about the incredible depth and focus weâve put on fleshing out these companions, theyâre very fully-realized. So here, you really get to see them more clearly, you get to see them shine. When you see Lace Harding jump into the air and unleash a volley of arrows, you can only really get that because of that more intimate view. So I love the spotlight thatâs been put on them. But, I think, in addition to the banter, one of the things that people are wondering about is, okay, but what about gameplay? So again, this has come about from our testing, working with the internal team, also our lovely Council of players. We just found that when youâre playing in the combat system, when youâre planning your strategies, two really felt like the right number to manage. So keep in mind, Rook has a lot of different types of actions, Abilities, individual attacks that are more fully fleshed-out than ever before. Timing and positioning matter a lot. So this really felt like the right balance to have. The number of inputs and actions weâre asking you as a player to take, including directing your companions, is higher than ever before. And I will also say, I engage with the companions, like I actively control what theyâre doing more than I ever have before in any of the other three games. But John, Iâll toss it over to you for the banter. Thatâs kind of like the, we got a two-for-one there.
John: Yeah, yeah.
Corinne: I think thatâs a, a great question.
John: So - itâs a great question, yeah. I mean honestly, I donât think you could actually stop the writers from writing banter. I will say for myself, itâs, itâs one of the more light but fun things to do. You get to write little stories, little arcs between different characters. And I mean, The Veilguard is no different. Banter is still absolutely core part of it. You know, weâve got global banter, you know, the general stuff that you get in all spaces, as well as mission-specific stuff. But, yeah, itâs definitely still a big thing. I think itâs, if anything itâs the most weâve, weâve ever done for pairings of companions. Beyond that weâve also made sure, and I mean Iâve been on Dragon Age for a while, and I know thereâs been issues, you know, things like, okay, well I donât wanna miss this banter. So weâve even added stuff like some interruptible and resumable banter as well, just to make sure that, because again, itâs a core part of the experience. Everyone loves hearing these companions talk to each other, everyone loves hearing these little stories and relationships develop over the course of the game and, as mentioned before, companions are the heart of this experience and banter is a big part of that, so, you still have it, itâs, if anything, like I said, you could not stop the writers from doing it even if we tried, so.
Corinne: Thatâs right, thatâs right. Well, John, you know, listening to you speak, one thing that comes to mind, maybe people are wondering, with two companions in the field do I get less interaction between, that, like do I get to see my companions interacting in a broader group more often.
John: Oh -
Corinne: And, the way youâll gather them around the kitchen table, thereâs just so many of those moments where theyâre all interacting with each other.
John: Well, I think â
Corinne: Those are some of my favorite parts.
John: Yeah, and I think, yeah, and actually thatâs a, a good call, because I think the other side of it is, weâre not talking too much about your home or anything, but, we also want to make sure that they feel like they have a relationships and a life outside of just, the times you take a certain pair of companions out on the field. So we made sure that, they have those interactions there as well.
Katey: Love that. Letâs see. Um, Matt, are we, are we all set, are we good? Yes? No? Okay. I can continue and we can come back to some of your questions. Alright. So that, I loved the answers to those. How customizable is the backstory of Rook? Will we get to determine their past in the Character Creator? And that was asked by Briar.
John: Yeah, so. Absolutely. So, one of, each, Rook has six different backgrounds that you can choose from. Each of them is tied to one of the major factions in The Veilguard and each one sets out who Rook was before they recruited, were recruited by Varric, and. Well that sets out the broad events. As you go through the game, as youâre gonna have conversations, either with members of your faction, other characters, you can define, not just what those events were, but what they meant to you, what was your motivation, what was the kind of person you are as you build up Rook, because again, we wanna make sure that roleplaying is at the heart of this experience. And taking Rook, giving them, again, giving them background to ground them in the world but then letting you decide what that means and what that says about you is also a big part of it, so. And again, there are six different factions in this game, two which, anyone whoâs played Dragon Age for a while will remember. Youâve got the Grey Wardens. Youâve got the Antivan Crows. We also have, in addition to that, we have four new ones, because weâre in northern Thedas. We have the Veil Jumpers. We have the Mourn Watch. We have the Shadow Dragons, and we have the Lords of Fortune, so. Again, a lot of different options, a lot of different background, and a lot of opportunities to really define what your, who your Rook was, and who they are now, so.
Katey: Amazing. Will crafting return? If yes, has it been improved over the system in Inquisition? Asked by Some Dude.
Matt: Testing.
Katey: Oh hey Matt!
Corinne: âSome Dudeâ, is that, Iâm gonna assume âSome Dudeâ is a username. Great question.
Katey: Yes.
Corinne: Welcome Matt, the lovely Matt Rhodes.
Matt: Testing, testing.
Corinne: Welcome, welcome, hello. Alright, so, will crafting return? You can absolutely improve and customize your gear, yes, that is a big part of RPG progression, so yes you can improve and customize it. I will say, though, itâs different this time around, and it does get into spoiler territory, so I, Iâm gonna be a little bit cagey about it, but there might be a mysterious entity that assists you with that thatâll be an important part of the narrative.
Katey: So mysterious.
Corinne: Oooh!
Katey: Matt, Iâm gonna actually go back to our first question so that you can answer, so everyone knows.
Matt: Thank you.
Katey: What faction, what faction you would choose if you could choose one for yourself?
Matt: Absolutely, oh, for me itâs definitely the Lords of Fortune. Iâve had a chance to try out a bunch of them, but I think Iâve finally settled on them. And itâs largely just because pirate-barbarian is just such a great combination of elements, so. Treasure-hunting plus beaches and palm trees and all that stuff, itâs a, itâs a really good mix, so thatâs kinda my default.
Katey: I think Iâm with you there, for sure. How about this one - this one was definitely asked probably amongst the most in Discord. Axolotl asks, can we kiss or romance Manfred the skeleton?
Matt: Uh, I, I would say, not that skeleton, but weâre not saying no skeletons.
Katey: I love that answer.
Corinne: This is my favorite answer so far.
Katey: Alright, so Iâm gonna get back on track here. Alright. What, what were some of the development considerations that you had to take into account to ensure that this new game flows and functions with prior games, and Dragon Age Keep, if Keep is being utilized?
Corinne: Ooh, thatâs a good one too. So, first of all, I would, I would point everyone to, we did an interview with IGN that goes into some of the details there, so, like, if you want a deeper dive on it, check out that article. But just to summarize, we have taken a different approach on how you import your decisions this time around. Itâs now actually been fully-integrated into the Character Creator, and kinda serves a dual purpose, to be honest. I, I playfully, itâs not called this in-game, but I playfully think of it as âLast Time On Dragon Ageâ.
Katey: I love that.
Corinne: Right? Now, when I talk about its dual purpose, itâs been ten years since the last Dragon Age game released, so it serves as a refresher on critical events as well as allowing you to re-make those decisions that are critical to you. The thing I love about it is, itâs very highly visual, it uses the familiar tarot card aesthetic, so itâs actually really visual and playful experience as you go through it. It is very much important to us that itâs built into the client, though. You can play this game entirely offline. No connection. You donât have to link to your EA accounts, like thatâs been a really big request. So, the refresher plus make those decisions in-client, I think weâre all pretty happy about that. I donât wanna spoil anything by revealing what decisions you can import, like, look, yâall donât want the spoilers, but I will say, itâs been a really interesting creative intersection for us, because on the one hand, this is a whole new adventure. Youâre in northern Thedas, these locations that youâve literally never been to before. So that affects some of what will matter and what weâre not using this time around, as far as decisions. But obviously thereâs some very, very clear connections to existing characters. Itâs no secret that the Inquisitor, our dear Inky, is gonna show up, so, thatâs, thatâs a factor.
Katey: Peachy asks, will this next game be an open-world game, or is it just contained to Tevinter?
John: Yeah, thatâs a great question. So, you are in northern Thedas, but the game only begins in Minrathous, it doesnât stay there. Iâm, I think one of the most exciting things for me, honestly, and again, to Corinneâs earlier point about spoilers, I donât wanna get into too much spoiler detail, but getting to go to, and work with the art team, work with the narrative, work with the design team to build out these locations that weâve talked about. Places that characters have referred to as where theyâve come from, places that characters, obviously, in previous games, have hailed from, has been absolutely exciting. So, itâs, you do start in Tevinter, you do start in Minrathous, but again, thatâs not the entire game by any stretch. So yeah.
Corinne: Yeah, and the first half of it is, is it an open-world game? Weâve gone back to what we believe delivers the best, most curated â
John: Mhm.
Corinne: - intense narratives. So, this is a hand-crafted experience, itâs mission-based. Now, these locations can open up. You can go back, solve mysteries, do some really great side-content. Not fetch-quests, not grind-quests, some really great side content.
John: Mhm.
Corinne: But, I wanna be clear. Itâs, itâs a really curated, hand-crafted experience.
John: And just to, just to bounce off of that very quickly. The most important thing for us, to what Corinne was saying about hand-crafted, obviously weâve talked about how, you know, narrative, story, characters, are the most, are critical to us, and this has allowed us to build these experiences in a way that emphasize that, extremely long, while still, again, tying into the story threads and the story beats, so.
Katey: Awesome. TastefulToxel wants to know - will the companions have unique specializations like Dragon Age II, or will it be the same ones we will have access to as the player in like DA: Origins, or Inquisition?
Corinne: Oh, cool. Hey TastefulToxel. Yeah, so, cool question. I think the best way for me to describe this is that, yes, our companions will have Abilities that are truly unique to them. But also, the companions do fall into the archetypes of mage, rogue, and warrior. Like, for instance, you might be surprised to hear, because she has a bow, but Bellara is, in fact, a mage, and I, I love that. So, some of the Abilities, the bulk of the Abilities of the companions are based on their own unique personality. Like, Neve is the only mage that is an Ice Mage, so you get distinct Abilities for her. But, because sheâs a mage, she does have access to Abilities that all the mages share, like Time Slow. So we really like the balance there. Itâs like a good mix of representing their archetype, their class, and also their distinct specialization or personality, whatever you wanna call it.
John: Yeah, actually, I would actually say the word âpersonalityâ is a really great one because thatâs, again, each of these characters exists, each of these characters have a history, have a story of how they became who they were, and part of that was finding that intersection between narrative and gameplay, and making sure that, again, we, we serve the needs of gameplay but also allow these characters to breathe and exist as their own people, not just in conversation, but out of conversations, as well.
Corinne: I would also say as part of that core mage kit, healing spells are there, so any of your mages, you wanna make âem a healer, do that.
Katey: Lunasoul Darkmoon asks, will The Veilguard have tactical combat still?
Corinne: Ooh, such a good one, such a good one. Okay. Yes! Combat gets quite tactical, like, obviously this is an evolution of the combat system, and I talked about immersion, wanting you, to put you in the world, like youâre actually living and existing in it, but it is very tactical. And, I will say, we have a robust difficulty system. The tactics are increasingly important the higher difficulty level you go. So like, look, if youâre showing up for a highly tactical experience, I would crank that difficulty level in particular. But I wanna make clear, Iâm, super, I wanna make sure Iâm super clear in my answer. You saw the gameplay reveal. Our pause-time tactical mode is not overhead. It stays close to Rook. It does allow you to cycle between targets, both in and out of combat, thereâs a reason for that. As the game progresses, and you didnât see this in that opening hour of the game, but itâll display strategic information on the enemies, so like, what are their vulnerabilities, what are their elemental weaknesses, their enhancements, what are they resistant to? So your type of Abilities, learning into elemental gameplay, matters a lot. Iâd also say, this is a long answer, itâs such a good question â tactical decision-making also takes the form, I would say this is front and center, of coordinating your Ability usage between Rook and your companions to create synergies, or really devastating â we call them â detonation combos. So, let me give you a couple of examples, because it can be a little hard to visualize, so hopefully this helps. So one of the tactics that I personally enjoy in my own builds, I just recently played as a Veil Ranger, I love it, itâs one of my favorites. If Iâm fighting Fade-touched enemies in Arlathan, I like to use Bellaraâs Galvanized Tear to pull enemies together, itâs like a gravity well. You then Slow Time with Neve and, Slow Time affects the world around you, but it does not affect you, so you clump them up, you Slow Time, and then with Rook, I come in and do, like a devastating AOE or damage over time spell or Ability, and itâs even better if itâs a lightning-based Ability, because the Fade-touched in Arlathan are vulnerable to that. So thereâs so many layers of coordination and strategy and tactics. Now we did talk about the devastating, like, detonation combos, honestly, thatâs probably one of my favorite features, because thatâs when youâre really leaning into explicit teamwork between your companions and Rook, or, the companions together. So when I, when I build out my team and Iâm going into a mission, I try to ensure that I have at least a couple of possible synergies, detonation combo synergies within my team. Might be between Harding and Neve, or it might be between Neve and me, or it might be both. So here, I would go into battle, Iâd pause time, open the Ability Wheel, get information on the enemy, and the Wheel will actually tell me that there is a synergy combo, you might have seen a screenshot that says âcombo availableâ. It will remind you of those synergies between companions. You can queue both of those Abilities up at the same time, go, close out of the pause-time menu, theyâll both execute, both Abilities will happen, then the detonation AOE happens, applies debuffs to all the enemies in a radius of it, itâs so satisfying, itâs so satisfying, I canât wait for yâall to see it. But the interesting thing is that too is a tactical choice. Iâm choosing to use my companions to do that, and that means, in that moment, Iâm not using them to heal me, or to give me that defense bonus, or to knock an enemy off a ledge, so itâs about the opportunity cost. I, I could spend the rest of the session talking about this, I, apologies for being long-winded, but this is just one of my favorite parts of, of the game.
Katey: That was a great answer. Can you choose Rookâs pronouns? If yes, being, is being non-binary an option? And also, how detailed is Character Creation?
Corinne: Hell yeah you can select your pronouns! Absolutely. You can actually select both your pronouns and your gender, because those are related concepts, but theyâre not actually the exact same thing, so. Itâs really cool. Yeah, you can be non-binary. We have they/them, she/her, he/him. Yes, emphatic yes. How detailed is the Character Creator? Oh my goodness, yâall. Like. Very! I donât wanna give away too much just yet, but itâs very, very deep. It has been revealed, itâs out there in a couple of articles, about the focus on hair, the focus on skin-tones that are done respectfully, full-body customization, hell yeah, we love to see it. But weâre, weâre gonna, weâre gonna come back, weâre gonna show you a lot more on Character Creator, but we wanna make sure we have the time and space to, to do that.
Katey: Will there be a Photo Mode in-game?
Corinne: So that is something weâre actively looking into. We know thereâs a tonne of interest, so stay tuned on that one. But we are very much looking into it.
Matt: I can add to that, is a feature that is, that, we like, we like the idea of, and, and, itâs not just player-facing but internally, itâs a really helpful thing for us as weâre, as weâre building things out to have that so itâs, itâs, weâll let ya know.
Corinne: Yes, yeah, absolutely. We, we are as geeked on that possibility as you all are.
Katey: A lot of people were asking about Abilities. This one is from Clemmy. Abilities, I donât think I saw this answered yet, but are we going to be limited in how many Abilities we can pick from the Wheel?
Corinne: Ah! Yes, yes, yes. So, Ability Wheel does have a capacity. You have to choose which three Abilities you wanna bring for Rook, which three for one of your companions, and which three for another companion. And what I, what I like about this is there is, kind of, an emergent gameplay depending on who you and your companions are coming into the mission with. Now the reason for that is, it actually creates really interesting balance of strategizing, having to do that strategy about your kit, your combat kit, before the mission. And then the tactical decisions once youâre in the field in combat, deciding what to do. But, I do wanna clear one thing up, because, while there are three Ability slots for Rook, thereâs so much more than that. Other actions that you can perform directly from the Wheel include, youâll have an Ultimate Ability, associated with your class or your specialization, so thereâs variance there. Thereâs a type of items that youâll get that function like Abilities, theyâre typically like buffs and enhancements in form of Runes. So youâll control that for Rook and/or the team from the Wheel. You may have also seen that you can direct which targets your companions will focus on, but what you might not know is that a lot of the companion gear really synergizes with that directing your companions. When you issue those commands, that too will proc based on the gear they have equipped. Really interesting and strategic effects. They can be more Ability-like, more, like, procced effects, thereâs just so much from the Wheel, that once you get in and see everything working together, becomes more and more apparent.
Katey: We have another question from TastefulToxel which is, will Fireball and Cone of Cold be back as skills, or as spells in Dragon Age: The Veilguard?
Corinne: Ohh, I love, all these combat questions, really good. So Fireball and Cone of Cold arenât specifically back, however, their successors are. Frost Nova and Meteor. So these serve the exact same combat role and function as those other Abilities. I would also say, it gives âem quite the glow-up, so. Meteor in particular, like, so satisfying nuking a group of darkspawn with a well-placed Meteor, itâs really wonderful.
Katey: What accessibility features are available? I would love to know if thereâs an arachnophobia mode. Will there be mod support?
Corinne: Oh my goodness, arachnophobia. I am wicked afraid of spiders too, my partner always laughs at me. Iâm just terrified of them. That said, thatâs one weâre going to save for a little bit closer to launch before weâll go into full details about accessibility features. But I do wanna assure you, weâve spent a lot of time thinking about this topic so you can play the game in a way that really works for you. Iâm, Iâm excited to share that with you when the time is right.
Katey: So this one is from a username named Cookie. How long is the time-skip from Inquisition to The Veilguard? I know weâll probably get more info on this, but Iâm so curious.
John: Yeah, so, anyone whoâs paid attention to Dragon Age, and I can say as somebody whoâs been on Dragon Age since Origins, timelines are always a little iffy. They change, and they morph over development as we see how long events taking. But, for The Veilguard, we were actually pretty consistent from the start. Itâs been about ten years since the events of Trespasser. As you may or may not have noticed, Varricâs become a little bit of a silver fox. I know, Iâve heard, seen, Iâve seen a lot of comments on that on social media, but, yeah, ten years. Solasâ ritual is taken time to set up and youâre kinda coming in at the end of that hunt, so.
Katey: Siddy is asking the hardest-hitting question which is, is Solas still bald?
Matt: Yeah. I mean, if youâve watched the gameplay thing, we can all confirm, yes, Solas is still bald, Solas is still Solas. Weâve, weâve, I really, I really like how Solas has turned out this time around. I will say, hereâs a comment on this specific question thatâs gonna sound like a non-sequitur, but, once you get a chance to play it a little bit more, maybe youâll see it. In Thedas, ancient elves, they go bald when theyâre like millennia old, so. Solas wasnât always bald. So if you were to end up, end up seeing what Solas looked like in the past, things might be a little different. Youâll have â
John: - Now, now that said, Iâm sure some of you are wondering what happened to Solasâ wig from Tevinter Nights. Iâm sure he still has it somewhere, so.
Katey: Heâs just taking care of it elsewhere.
John: Heâs just taking care, itâs, itâs his most important possession.
Corinne: The Pride there, huh?
Katey: I have another one for Matt. This is, will we be able to, will we be able to change companionsâ appearances and outfits, or are they fixed, similar to Dragon Age II?
Matt: Yeah we, Dragon Age II was, we loved how the followers turned out in that but it was, it was sad given, given our constraints that we had to keep them with just one, one basic outfit. So we really tried to make some space for them this time around. So theyâre, they still have, kindâve iconic color palettes and things like that, but they do have a wider range of appearances that you can, that you can find for them. Some, some are just cool, but then there are some that are tied directly to their, to their narrative and just kinda whatâs happening in their life.
Katey: Another one for ya, which is, will we be seeing or visiting Kal-Sharok? Itâs, and, Tyrant says that theyâve been obsessed with it forever.
Matt: Yeah, me too. I, I will say, whatâs, whatâs been really cool, so in previous games, weâve kindâve alluded to this before. It was a lot of fun to hint at the locations that were off the map, the mysterious places that you werenât gonna go, you werenât going. And so you could just bring in some props or some characters, a piece of art, things like that, and you know, even Tevinter was only vaguely hinted at and then we would just add drips and bits and pieces, so that stuff was really fun. In The Veilguard, weâre actually getting to visit, most, like a whole lot of those locations that had only been hinted at for real, so you actually do run around Tevinter and a bunch of the other locations that weâve revealed. But this also means, like, weâre not completely filling out the map, and so that there are actually new things that we can start hinting at, that we can start drip-feeding, and so, itâs, itâs kindâve fun. Iâd say, yeah, for what we can show of Kal-Sharok, and, and other locations, itâs just, thereâs, thereâs more to do.
Katey: Awesome. MrFightmonster118 asks, will the dialogue wheel slash options be similar to Inquisition and Mass Effect: Andromeda in the sense that itâs more tone-based?
John: Yeah, so, we have a number of different types of wheels in our game. All the dialogue wheels are based off the same principle. Anyone whoâs played a Dragon Age game remembers what they look like. In Dragon Age: The Veilguard we have tone wheels which are, you know, again, roleplaying your character, picking consistent tone. We also have emotion wheels where you can pick specific emotional reactions. And choice wheels which are, I donât have a strong emotional or tone tie here but I do want to make a choice based on what I do. Investigates obviously return as well, but. We do want players to understand as much as possible what it is theyâre going to be picking, and understand, and again, choice and consequence is fun, we wanna make sure the choice is clear, even if, again, one of the best parts about consequence is making sure thatâs not entirely clear, so.
Katey: How extensive are Rookâs decision trees for dialogue going to be with the companions and also with NPCs throughout the game?
John: Huge. I mean, again, itâs a Dragon Age game, we wanna make sure you have choices, we wanna make sure you can choose both your roleplaying but also choose outcomes of conversations, choose how events unfold, so, I mean, again, itâs a Dragon Age game, we wanna make sure that we also react to decisions youâve made, so. For example, you may be talking to a follower who is an elf, and if you yourself are an elf, obviously youâre gonna have a different perspective on events than someone whoâs not an elf. Sometimes that means different conversation options, sometimes thatâs going to mean entirely deep dialogue trees, as well as based off decisions youâve made throughout the game so, again, making sure that the game feels like itâs noticing what youâre doing is a huge part of how weâve written out the dialogue wheel, or dialogue trees, in this game.
Corinne: Blueberry has a question for Corinne. It was mentioned that there will be, that we will be able to romance who we like. Does that mean that all companions are romanceable by all player characters regardless of race or gender, as it has been in the past?
Corinne: Yeah, yeah. So, we have talked about this in some of the interviews, Iâve seen a few articles about it, so Iâd recommend everyone check out those articles. But let me just give you a quick overview. Each of the seven companions have full romance arcs and they are romanceable by all genders, absolutely. But something thatâs really important to, to us on the team, so I wanna make sure that we clarify and just double-down on, that doesnât mean playersexual. And if anyoneâs unaware of what we mean by that, it doesnât mean that they can form or twist their identities to who you the player are, like they, they wonât suddenly have a preference for men or women based on what youâre playing, right? Instead, they have their own fully fleshed-out identities, they are true and authentic to that. So in this game, they are all pansexual, with their own histories of romance. Sometimes youâll hear about preferences, or things of that nature. And what I really love is, if you donât pursue a romance with them, theyâll actually build their own romances with each other. So, in one of the interviews I talked about Lace Harding and Taash getting together. I give that example because honestly, itâs one of my favorites. Iâm gonna put a question back to the community, though. Iâve heard weâre going with âLaashâ for that ship-name? You tell me, like, what is that ship-name?
Katey: That one just rolls off the tongue, I feel like that works. This next question is from FallenArtesia. What are the markings on the faces of the elven Warden and Veil hopper?
Matt: So thereâs a, quite a few, probably, I think, easily more than weâve done before, tattoos from various, various cultures. Weâre bringing the vallaslin back, of course. But thereâs, yeah, ton of different options, especially when weâre, again, going into all these new regions. Each, each area has its own kindâve visual language for that. But yeah, we are bringing the vallaslin back and then a couple of the characters have them, but weâve kindâve customized them a little bit, theyâre a bit more specific to their personality.
Katey: And this is a question for all of you. What are you, what are you as a developer most proud of about the game, and what are you most excited for players to experience when itâs out?
John: Ooh, thatâs a good question.
Corinne: Isnât it?
John: Corinne, you wanna go first?
Corinne: Yeah, sure. Gosh. So I suspect for most of us, myself included, it is really gonna be the depth and authenticity of the companions, journeying along with them on their arcs, learning about their hardships, what they care about, being by their side, that, that authenticity is just so good. They all feel like my dear friends. But, I have to say, the closest runner-up for me, has to be the Character Creator, has to be. That Character Creator, the makeup options, the range of sliders. Iâm a qunari fan, so even just the, the way you customize the horns and combine that with the really great-looking hair. Character Creator has to be my, my, like very close runner up.
Matt: Oh yeah. For me, I would say, as far as, what, what I can say Iâm most proud of on this one, the, I can speak for the art team. We worked incredibly hard to make the story more visible than ever. Games are a visual medium, but, you know, itâs, sometimes itâs easier to do things in text format or written in a Codex somewhere or alluded to off-screen. But we really leaned in to trying to make sure that every design, prop, character, environment, the VFX weâre choosing, everything, all, all these choices, were putting the story on-screen so that you can really see it unfold. And I think, having worked on all of the Dragon Age games, I would say Veilguard represents one of the best attempts at that weâve made yet.
John: Iâm gonna cheat, because Iâm going last and I get to do that when I go last, and kinda combine both Corinneâs and Mattâs answer. Honestly, the companions are, for me, the absolute highlight of, just, being able to work across all the disciplines, building characters who look and sound and behave in very specific and characterful ways. These are the deepest companion arcs weâve ever done. Not just on Dragon Age, but at BioWare in general. Each, each companion has their own story arc, you can go through decisions you can make, they really do take center-stage, and I think, as you play through with them you see the care and love that the team has put into each and every one. I mean thereâs, thereâs moments in each arc that make you cry, make you angry, make you excited and, and the way that they integrate into the story as a whole is just, for me, something thatâs been really fun. Finding ways to bring these characters together, finding ways to make this, this narrative, this story of, you know, you need to put together a team and stop the end of the world, itâs just been absolutely exciting and thrilling. And again, you see the teamâs love in every single piece of it. As for what Iâm most excited? For me, Iâve been, I mean Dragon Age has been part of my career, part of my life for literally the last decade and a half. Iâve worked on it since Origins and thereâs something about The Veilguard that feels like a amazing mix of, novelty but also familiarity. Itâs like coming home in a way that I think is going to be very exciting for people who are existing Dragon Age players, but thereâs also so much here thatâs just new and exciting for people, new players and old players alike. And going to parts of the word, seeing things weâve never seen before, and just getting to take this amazing world, this amazing series and expand on it and build on it in ways that have just been, honestly, an absolute thrill, the best part of my career. And Iâve been in games for seventeen years now, this has been the absolute highlight for me, so. Thatâs what Iâm excited about.
Corinne: John, that was, that was such a good answer, and I just, I just wanna âyes, and -â that. It, I so completely agree with you. Thereâve been times in the companion arcs where even, knowing exactly whatâs going to happen, we work on the game, with some of these decisions, I, Iâve had to set down the controller, let out a heavy sigh and go âoh my god, what am I gonna do here?â Yeah, the depth of them is wonderful. And, I do wanna say, I, Iâd be, I wanna put this out there, when we talked about as a developer, what are we most proud of, can we just give a big shout-out to the dev team? I am so proud of them. This team has poured their heart and soul into this.
John: Absolutely.
Corinne: Anyone from BioWare whoâs listening in, thank you so much, yâall are just the best.
John: Hear, hear.
Katey: I absolutely love that. I knew that question was going to have some of my best, some of my favorite answers, and it delivered, so thank you three. This oneâs a fun one. Why does Varric have dark hair now? I feel like John mentioned this a little bit earlier, but.
John: Just for [inaudible].
Matt: Heâs been, heâs been adventuring for a while now. His hair is, is more gray, but heâs been in very dark scenes so far, so. Weâll see him in some more contexts.
Katey: In this question, we actually took from Tumblr, because there were a few really good ones in our ask box. Will the Inquisitor be appearing in the flesh, or are we just choosing their major Dragon Age: Inquisition decisions?
Corinne: Alright! Yeah, yes! They will. The Inky does appear. We know how attached yâall are to the Inquisitor, Iâve seen the love for your OC. Yes, the Inquisitor shows up. Now, we, weâd already confirmed that in a few places, so, let me just say, you can also customize them, includes some of our new customization options, yeah, theyâre gonna show up and theyâre gonna be your Inquisitor.
John: And I think, I think beyond that, I mean, the story of Solas and the story of the Inquisitor, obviously are tied, theyâre tied together as much as any story, so. It would have been strange for us not to bring them in for this one. They have, theyâre gonna be a part of the story, so.
Katey: Will there be any planned DLC? Just curious, as I always love the DLCs. Oh, and transmog armor. This one came from Lavell.
Corinne: Oh, heck yeah, good question. So, right now, our focus is entirely on the quality of the game. Like, itâs so important at this stage for us to be all-in, all attention on, just, finishing this game and delivering on the quality, the promise of it. So honestly, like, thatâs all I can really say about it. Weâre 100% focused on this being the most complete game we can make it. I will say, kindâve related to that though, and I just wanna underscore this, I wanna emphasize it. Thereâs not gonna be any microtransactions, thereâs not gonna be any battle passes, you donât have to connect online, our focus is making this the most complete singleplayer game we possibly can. Now, this was kindâve a two-for question, I love when we do that. Will there be transmog? Hell yeah. Iâm the kindâve player that, that believes fashion is the real end-game. Yeah, thereâs a transmog system, absolutely, itâs sick.
Katey: And then this next question is from Scott. I was asking if any of the characters will be explicitly asexual, or on the ace spectrum?
Corinne: So good. Such a good question. So, look, Iâm just, Iâm gonna be really forthcoming with yâall and a little bit vulnerable here. Iâm ace, Iâm a gray-ace, I donât mind sharing that, Iâm kindâve public with it. I will say though, that none of our companions this time around are explicitly ace. When we look at the characters, their motivations, who they are, we always assess, like is, is this the right time? This time it wasnât. But what I will say for everyone on the ace spectrum out there, I would love to represent an ace relationship sometime in the future when it feels like the most authentic fit for a companion, when we can do it best. Oh, and I do see some questions, you know, some questions, what do we mean by ace? Asexuality. We often refer to it as the ace spectrum.
Katey: Can mage Rook do blood magic? Will blood magic be a skill tree separate from regular magic?
Corinne: Okay. Um, this gets a little spoilery, so let me just say, Rook has some pretty good reasons to avoid blood magic. Rook is not gonna want to be interested in that. But I will say, the mage skill tree is packed with all kinds of spells, traits and perks to give you a ton of flexibility in your magic. Gonna go off-script just a little bit, because â
John: Oh no.
Corinne: Iâve seen, like, can you tell us about the specializations for mage? Iâm not gonna tell you the deets, but there is a necromancer one, there is an elemental one, and there is one thatâs actually more of like a combat mage, itâs my favorite.
Katey: Can we name the griffon? We also have a griffon emoji now in this Discord server.
John: Excellent. So, someone on your, in your party, again, spoilers, may have already named the griffon, but, donât worry, Assan is a very good boy, so.
Corinne: All these griffon emojis are, yâall are killing me.
Katey: Yeah, I love that, griffons in the chat. Let's see. Will we have a camp/home/headquarters that weâll be able to customize?
Matt: Well this time around, in Inquisition you had Skyhold. In this case you have a headquarters called the Lighthouse. More to be seen on that. But, itâs, it, narratively it, it serves kindâve a different purpose but also the same purpose. As far as customization goes, there are elements of it that change over time, and some things that you can adjust. I, I donât know how much weâre really going into that at the moment.
Katey: This one is â
Matt: But yeah, I would say, itâs like, thereâs some, it, one thing I like about it is it definitely does start to feel very much like a home over time.
Katey: Sorry for almost cutting you off there Matt. We have another very hard-hitting question, if I'm, if I do say so myself.
John: I love this one.
Katey: We need to - Same. We need to know, does pasta and noodles exist in Thedas? Thank you.
Matt: Well, and Iâll take it as a chance just to geek out about worldbuilding, because, again, weâre, The Veilguard for us is a really kinda dream opportunity to go to places that weâve only ever heard reference to, or weâve seen hints at. And so, in going through the worldbuilding process and trying to, trying to build these places out, not just as neat things from the IP but also as, you know, if youâve, if you've read about this stuff, if youâve been following along, youâve got your own version of it in your head. Youâve imagined what it might be like, youâre, and probably hoping for something spectacular. And our brains are always far better at creating this stuff than any game developer, any artist, or anyone can really do justice to, so you really have to swing for the fences to make something very satisfying and exciting. You know, is, that can be everything as big as architecture and landscape and biomes and ecosystems, but it does get into things like art and culture, costume design, and also food, and this time around we did, you know, that was one of the many things that we, that we did, looking to, just to try to catch the character and the feel of a place to make it feel believable and lived in, so. Thatâs my really long answer for, yeah, Iâm sure, I've, at least one place does have pasta.
Katey: I loved that. This next question is from Spectre Karro. Are we getting a mabari?
John: Ooh, thatâs a good question. I will say, youâre spending most of the game in the north of Thedas. Mabari are not nearly as big of a thing up there, so. In this particular instance, no, you will not get a mabari, sadly.
Katey: Honestly, I shouldâve pulled this one up to where we answered the first question about the griffon, but, can we pet the griffon?
Matt: You, Iâm really sorry to have to be the one to tell you â nah, Iâm kidding, yes you can. But itâs not even just petting the griffon. Iâve, this isnât a spoiler, I think you can actually, Iâve actually hugged the griffon, so, that feels like, even there, a step up. Yeah.
John: Thereâs lots of opportunities to interact with the griffon.
Corinne: Can we see, can we see Assan in chat if we wanna see him in the Lighthouse hanging out?
Katey: Assan in chat everybody.
Corinne: Assan in chat, alright!
Katey: I love it.
Corinne: Okay, yâall this was so important to the team too. Like, this is the teamâs like, just such huge support for this feature, so props to them.
Katey: This one is from Coriander. Will we get to see any of the Character Creator before the game releases?
Corinne: Yes, yes you will. Weâve got a, youâve probably seen, weâre laying out a roadmap for, you know, what weâre gonna show and when weâre gonna talk about, so, yes you will see it as we get a little bit closer to launch.
Katey: And then weâve got this question which is, will we be able to play as a qunari, dwarf, elf, or human?
Corinne: Hell yeah, hell yeah you will. All four, and all four have that full-body customization. I already talked a little bit about, I mean listen, Iâve always loved the qunari. I will say in Dragon Age: Inquisition it was hard to get a good-looking qunari hairstyle, so yes you can play as them, you can customize them, the horn options are rad, the hair options are rad. And also, I guess related to this, your lineage gives you a lot of really unique dialogue options, so thatâs a really lovely aspect of choosing your lineage as well.
John: Yeah, I would, so to actually just to bounce off that, to an earlier question about backgrounds, each lineage, there, depending on the lineage you choose and the background you choose there are some specifics call-outs to, for example, if itâs the Mourn Watch, the Mourn Watch being a faction from Nevarra of mages, you play as a dwarf, obviously your experience in that faction is going to be different than, say, a human or an elf, so. There are also specific call-outs tailored to those combinations and, with again, giving, the intention of giving each lineage their own little flavor as to how they're, they fit into that faction as a whole.
Katey: Okay, John, Iâve got a question from someone named Joe for you. Where is Barkspawn and is he okay?
John: Thatâs a Great question. Barkspawn is safely gnawing on a bone next to a fireplace somewhere in Ferelden, donât worry, heâs fine. You may question, ask yourself, but John, itâs been so long, in which I say, mabari live exactly as long as they need to.
Corinne: Getting into the deep-cut questions now.
John: Deep-cut questions, yeah.
Katey: Yeah. We are really speedinâ through these. Letâs see. Will Rook have a set of default name?
John: Yeah so, Rookâs last name is defined based on their faction, again, we wanted to tie that into your backstory, but also, thereâs a, thatâs a name generator that can give you a selection of first names. Obviously if you want to make your own first name, thatâs definitely something we support as well. If youâre somebody who maybe has a little bit more difficulty coming up with a name, so for example you name every single character âBobâ because thatâs the only name you can think of, we also give that opportunity for that generation, so.
Katey: I definitely always have trouble coming up with what I wanna name my characters, so thatâs great. This next question is, when will the voice acting cast be announced?
John: So, we worked with a lot of very talented actors on this one. I am super excited to talk about the voice acting cast. Weâll be talking a bit more over the summer, weâre not quite ready to announce names yet.
Katey: And I think we have a similar answer to this next question, which was, will there be a Collectorâs Edition? When can I pre-order?
John: Yeah, same answer, we have, weâll talk more about the different editions of the game soon.
Katey: Are there any special musical guests writing the sound-track? Will tavern songs return.
Corinne: Oh my goodness, yeah. There are tavern songs. And huge credit to the audio team and performance teams because theyâre pretty great. Thereâs one in a little tavern in Minrathous called The Swan, and the song you hear there might just, it might be, itâs up there, it might just be my favorite of the tavern songs.
Katey: Letâs see, are there any â ope, I have just asked that one. What are the required PC specs?
John: Much like the other two, we will have more information on required PC specs soon.
Katey: Saph from the Discord server noticed that two, Dragon Age IIâs main theme from the soundtrack brought back much of the iconic thematic material of Originsâ main theme, but I heard less of it in Inquisitionâs. Can we expect The Veilguardâs main theme to recall more or less of that original thematic material than Inquisition?
John: So weâre not, weâre not quite ready to talk about music yet in specifics, but in broad strokes I can say the process for us is always the same. Working with the composer, working, figuring out themes, figuring out what kinds of elements we want to keep, tying specific elements to, maybe specific characters. Itâs a really in-depth process and a really collaborative process. We have some fantastic audio people on our team that have done an amazing work, amazing job, working with composers, and, with the team as a whole to make sure that, again, we said earlier about cohesiveness. Making sure that the music feels like a cohesive part of the experience.
Katey: And this one, I see is also for John, but I think anyone can answer this. When writing the overall story of this game, what themes did you want to have as the prominent focus?
John: I mean again, itâs interesting, so itâs interesting, because when we were writing these games, and this has been true on every Dragon Age Iâve been part of, what you start with and where you end up arenât always necessarily the same. Sometimes you start writing out a theme, you realize actually itâs more interesting if we attack from this angle, or maybe if we twist it a little bit. I will say for Dragon Age: The Veilguard, from the beginning one of the biggest themes has been regret. How regretâs shaped peoplesâ lives, how people deal with their regrets, how people maybe move past their regrets and, each of the characters, you know, the stories as a whole, have elements of this tied throughout. We really wanted to have that thematic, that cohesiveness to the gameâs story and the gameâs writing so.
Katey: And I know that, you know, weâve, we've kindâve already answered this a few times, but can we play as dwarves and does the world react to your race and backstory? Probably be good to just directly answer that one.
John: Yes you can play as a dwarf. Yes the world does react to your race and backstory. And, again, youâll have unique dialogues or unique conversation options based on that, on that backstory and as well as that race.
Corinne: Iâll give you a little nugget here, because I saw it scrolling through real quickly. Do you have beards, like. So when I think about can I play as dwarves I think about, do we have glorious fantastic beards? Hell yeah, we do.
John: Yeah, I can say, as somebody who plays a lot of games with character creator, the beards on, I donât know what magic the character art team did for the beards, but they feel like a beard should feel like, itâs great. They look awesome.
Corinne: Just saw somebody say âitâs beard timeâ, I love it. Itâs beard time!
Katey: Will our heroes and companions leave us if we go against their wishes?
Corinne: Oh my good â do yâall just love pain? Do you want us to make you cry? If you go against their wishes, if you make decisions they donât like, I will tell you, you can piss them off, you can, they might not agree with you and they, they will take some time away. That said, this is the biggest threat to Thedas weâve ever seen, so theyâre, they are always gonna be willing to show up to defend Thedas but, yeah, you can piss them off and theyâll leave for a minute. As it relates to them showing up to defend Thedas, well yeah, they will, unlessâŚ
John: No spoilers Corinne!
Corinne: Aughhh, Iâll leave it there, Iâll leave it there.
John: No spoilers.
Corinne: Okay, alright, alright. But they want it!
John: Yep.
Matt: Donât try to stop me, Smee!
Katey: This oneâs a fun one about some inspirations for the game. Dracanmo would like to know if any songs, books, movies or anything have had inspired any of the writing for the characters?
John: I mean, honestly, the thing about art is, art is always a synthesis of your own experiences both in the real world but also the art you consume, the art you pay attention to. I donât think that any characters have what I would describe as, this character was a direct reference or direct inspiration but, I mean, yeah, theyâre all inspired by the things that we do, the things, both, again, in the real world, and also in the media we consume. And youâre gonna see elements of characters that, yeah, the things that weâve enjoyed, the things thatâve shaped us, show up in these characters. I think, for me, itâs, it comes down to, and I, I, writing is a deeply, can be a deeply personal experience, so even if you donât intend for it to be the case, things, parts of you are going to show up in your character, I think thatâs true for all the characters in The Veilguard. And, you know, sometimes itâs, exploring, exploring the, yâknow, things that, about yourself that you may like or may not like, and itâs also about exploring things about characters that you like or donât like, so. Thatâs kinda my long-winded way of saying yes, itâs impossible to not have that happen when youâre creating art. But I wouldnât say that thereâs one where you can say, oh this is this character, this is this character.
Katey: What was the thinking process behind making Harding a companion this time around? Was she always going to be one or did it evolve into one because she was such a lovable character?
John: Ohh, yeah. So Harding, I mean. When we released Inquisition, it was impossible not to see the love that people had for our murderous girl next door dwarf. Sheâs always been a fan favorite obviously, but I think beyond that, itâs something that there, that Hardingâs writer wanted to explore. There was more of a story to tell there, more perspective, and beyond that, Harding obviously has a strong connection to Solas, and to the, to Varric, and to the events of the past ten years, so. I wouldnât say itâs always been, but Iâd say Hardingâs probably one of the first ones we settled on as like, yes, this is a character we want and the writer had a story that they wanted to tell with her, so, it just made sense.
Matt: You know, I think actually, to piggyback on that, thatâs something I hadnât really even thought about that much, but, and itâs not a huge part of her character, but, she tends to be one of the people that have the most insight into he was.
John: Yeah, thatâs exactly it, thatâs exactly, and yeah, thatâs a great way of looking at it too. It also provides you with a little bit of that, that perspective. For players whoâve been around, you know, who played with previous Dragon Age games, but also for new ones, who was Solas? What kind of character was, was he?
Matt: Yeah.
John: Yeah, itâs a great, itâs a great, using characters to provide windows onto the world is honestly one of my favorite things.
Matt: And, and when I say was, I just mean, in Inquisition.
John: Yes, thatâs, thatâs exactly it, yes. Thank you for correcting that.
Matt: Yeah.
Katey: And what approach are you taking to quest and world design in The Veilguard?
John: I think for us it just comes down to relevance and narrative heft. We want to make sure that each quest provides either a perspective on the world or perspective on the characters, or feels immediately and obviously relevant to what youâre, what youâre doing here. Youâre here to save the world and, again, at the end of the day, one of the things that we heard, we heard loud and clear, was some feedback about how relevant, or in this, in our case, not relevant, previous quests have felt, so for Veilguard, we really wanted to make sure that these quests felt like something that you, somebody faced with the end of the world would believe was necessary and important. So, again, thereâs quests of all sorts and sizes, but all of them share that same feeling of, this is the kind of thing that The Veilguard would do. This is the kindâve thing that my hero would do, especially faced with the end of the world.
Corinne: Yeah, thatâs, thatâs really good John. Thatâs so right. I would just, again, double-down on how hand-crafted all the quests are, and whether, whether youâre doing, like, the main story, or youâre journeying with your companions, or youâre out exploring and you encounter a mystery. Everythingâs handcrafted, intentional. We spent a lot of time listening to what yâall said, and of course everyone has slightly different tastes, but, you know, youâre not gonna be gathering shards in the Hinterlands. Everything is built with intention, and, you know, a dev there lovingly handcrafting the experience.
Katey: Are there any locations in the game that can only be accessed by making specific story choices?
John: So I donât wanna get too much into spoilers here because this does start getting into spoiler detail, but I will say that locations can fundamentally change based on decisions you make. Some of the parts of the world that you go to, you can have, the decision, the choices you make have an impact on how these spaces exist and develop, so, yeah, and again, donât wanna too many into, into story spoilers, but, your decisions do impact how the world shows up.
Katey: And will we be able to control our companions in combat through tactical mode, or if the PC, or player character, gets KOâd, like in previous games?
Corinne: Right, so. If Rook gets KOâd, your player character gets knocked out, this time around it is time to re-load your save, or better yet, the companions have really interesting progression, you can spec them out to be able to revive you, but thatâs, thatâs if youâve invested in their own progression and what they can do. And that said, I, I mentioned this earlier but I, I personally spend more time in the nature of this combat system when everything comes together, interacting and directing the companions than I have in any of the other games, so, like, like that, that interactivity between them, once you play it youâll see how, just engaged the team is.
Katey: A user named Itâs Sarah said, my real most important Dragon Age question is, will Solas still occasionally or dramatically speak in iambic pentameter?
John: You know, I was, I actually spent a little bit of time trying to figure out if I wanted to answer this question in iambic pentameter and then I very quickly gave up. Massive kudos to Patrick who, who always writes Solas so well. Again, Solas is a returning character, itâs the same Solas you know and love, or hate, depending on who you are. Same writer, so, I think, this has been, the answer is, well of, yeah, itâs Solas.
Katey: Will our decision of who in particular was left behind in the Fade be important?
John: So, while that decision does not show up, that â sorry, let me, restart. Not for The Veilguard. That decision doesnât show up here. Now, that said, that doesnât mean thatâs thatâs not a decision that will ever be important in the future, so. Again, not for this one, though.
Matt: Iâm glad to hear you say that, John, because one of my favorite stories was Bob getting stuck in the web in reboot and it just feels like -
John: Thatâs a, thatâs a deep cut!
Corinne: Very, thatâs a deep cut.
John: Holy smokes.
Corinne: My goodness.
John: The sound of my childhood.
Katey: Will we have mounts again? If so, any hints to what types weâll have?
Matt: So no, no, mounts, excuse me. Mounts were, they were, they addressed a need in Inquisition that we donât have in Veilguard, and youâll see why, when you get to play.
Katey: LightningStar asks, how is the side quest design? Will they be mostly story-based, or will there be a lot of radiant quests or resources or Power, like in Inquisition?
John: We talked about it a little bit earlier, but, no, they are all hand-crafted and story-focused. Again, narrative, the companions, not just the companions but the characters in the world as a whole are so much at the core of The Veilguard that, anything other than hand-crafted quests just felt like it would be a disservice to the game we were building.
Corinne: Yeah. And maybe, we can clarify as well, because, like Power was such a divisive mechanic in Inquisition. Thereâs no mechanic like that that blocks your progression until you fill a bar, right, like thatâs just not a thing in this. You have the autonomy to engage in these, these quests as you like. Thereâs no, like, y'know, grind-out gates before you can progress.
John: Thatâs right, yeah. Again, we wanna make sure that, again, that doing this content feels as natural and part of the logical flow of the story as possible.
Katey: So, it looks like we only have time for three more questions, so Iâm going to get through those. With this next one, is from someone named Jason. Will there be a similar system to the War Table missions?
Corinne: Ooh, interesting. So, we havenât talked much about the playerâs base, the Lighthouse. And weâre gonna save that for a beat, but what I will say is that the Lighthouse, your headquarters so to speak, it has its own unique purposes and functions this time. So thatâs an area that weâll, weâll leave for you when we talk more about the Lighthouse, and then when you have a chance to hop in, youâll be able to see what those unique purposes and functions are.
Katey: If there is dual-wield for warriors, will it rely on dexterity or strength?
Corinne: Ah, okay, yeah, yeah. So we did wanna bring dual-wielding back. It is part of the rogue kit this time. So warriors are really focused on mighty two-handed weapons, canât wait til you see, when you swing and connect with those weapons, thereâs, thereâs a real heft to it. And then of course sword and shield, so. Weâre leaving the dual-wielding to the rogues, but you, you can see just, the amount of hits you can get in in rapid succession dual-wielding as a rogue is really satisfying.
Katey: And the last question that weâre able to get to today, is, what have been some of the challenges and advantages of working on a single, on a single game for so many years? How did you sustain the work in yourselves and the process?
John: That is a fantastic question. I will say for myself, Iâve often joked, and I donât know how much of a joke it actually is, that when this game is out and I suddenly donât have to keep all these pieces of game and lore and story and everything straight in my head, Iâm suddenly gonna be able to speak Latin or something because thereâs gonna be a ton of brainpower freed up. But for me itâs just, you know, it's, the thing that keeps me sustained is just knowing the game that weâre building is the right one. Knowing that the beats are coming together, and knowing just how much people care about this franchise, care about these games, and how excited people are going to be when they get to see the fantastic work that the team has, has been doing. And that really is, I can say, Iâve been on this project since the start, and even today, I see things on a daily basis, Iâm like holy â smokes, sorry, I almost swore, I canât believe what the team is doing, I canât believe the, how good this looks, I canât believe. Because itâs a huge game. Thereâs pieces that I, I donât see every piece of the game every day so, I get pleasantly surprised on a daily basis and that, I will say, you know, confession, sometimes if Iâm having a particularly long day, Iâll spend about an hour late at night just watching cutscenes coming in, watching the work coming together and just, sitting back and being like, holy smokes, I cannot wait for someone who hasnât seen this every day for so long as I have to experience this and just be blown away by the work, so.
Corinne: It's, itâs been very real, hasnât it? And, and I will just say, speaking on behalf of the dev team, everyoneâs working so hard, theyâre putting so much passion, so much of themselves into it. Like this is a franchise they truly love, and seeing your support, cheering us on, itâs just meant a lot to them, so, let me just say thank you to all of you.
Katey: And I wanna say thank you to you three for taking the time to do this. I know that it matters a lot to the community to be able to, you know, get some time with you guys and, you know, make sure that some of their dying questions are, are answered, so thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to do this. For anyone whoâs still listening I promise that Iâm that Iâm working on a way for these questions to be immortalized somewhere. Stay tuned for that so that you donât have to worry about this, just, you know, disappearing into the ether. So, stay tuned, thank you all for your time. Anything else we wanna say before we jump off?
Matt: Thanks everyone.
John: Thank you. Yeah, Iâm super excited to show more of this and, yeah, this is gonna be, hopefully this is the first of many of these opportunities to talk to you all directly. Again, itâs been a while, and getting to talk about this game has been absolutely exciting. I know for myself, as well for the rest of the team, so thank you all.
Corinne: Just thank you, itâs, the Dragon Age community, how much it means to you, how much it means to us, itâs just wonderful to see you all so invested and excited to come here and talk to us. Thank you again, truly.
Katey: We'll hopefully do something like this again soon. Okay, cool, have a great day everybody! Talk soon!
John: Bye yâall!
Matt: Bye.
[source: The dev BioWare Discord Q&A on June 14th]
Update: If you would like to listen to the Q&A for yourself in video format, or listen to it again, Ghil Dirthalen recorded it and has now uploaded a video of it here.
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Hey man, I could use a few talking points to help convince a friend that Musk is horrible. I'm reading 'Think Again' by Adam Grant (good read btws) and he says to help convince people to come to your viewpoint that it can be good to have 2 or 3 strong points instead of 10 mixed points. The counter argument I get from people about Musk being good is that he did spacex and tesla, and without him we'd be decades behind. Maybe, but I don't have good ammo. Please help as I get too angry tobe critical
Well, listen, the fascism, the transphobia, the chaos, and the unwavering support for autocrats all over the planet really ought to be enough to outweigh anything else, if you ask me. It sounds like you know some people who got excited about the companies he threw money at, and they are having a tough time updating their feelings due to current events. Or maybe they share his values and don't want to admit that.
But I'll try to offer some simple facts.
He did not do engineering with Tesla or SpaceX or even PayPal. He is a fraud. He walked into these existing businesses, where people had done actual work and engineering, threw some of his Apartheid money at them, and took credit for their work. He claims, over and over again, to be a founder of these companies, and that's just straight up a lie that is easily disproved.
He literally did nothing except throw money at people and take credit for their work. Look at every Tesla up to the (chokes back laughter) Cybertruck. Those Teslas look like cars, because they were designed by engineers. Look at the Cybertruck. When you stop laughing at what a joke it is, know this: that's what happens when Elon Musk is in charge. It's like a ten year-old with some crayons drew it on a menu at Denny's.
All of the things his weird fans claim he made possible, are things that would have happened, and were in the process of happening, without him. He literally did nothing to advance the technologies or engineering. In fact, SpaceX whistleblowers have told reporters how they had to keep Musk occupied with bullshit, so they could do the real work without him fucking it up all the time with his incompetence.
But even if he were telling the truth, even if the myth were fact, it would not outweigh the damage, the pain, the chaos, and the suffering he has inflicted on millions and millions of people, all over the world with his lies, his spread of misinformation, and his incitement of angry incels.
Also, don't forget, when Ukraine was trying to defend itself, he turned off Starlink access when they could have decisively ended Russia's aggression. A lot of people have suffered and died as a direct consequence of that action, which he took to support his buddy and fellow autocrat, Vladimir Putin.
That's more information than I think your friends will be willing to hear. Studies indicate that people who are heavily invested in the myth of a person will fight hard to hold onto the myth, and reject truth and facts, because it's so jarring to them. Musk has built a cult of personality, and maybe your friends are stuck to it.
I'd gently encourage your friends to consider one key fact: he has lied about his entire origin story, he has lied about his contributions to Tesla and SpaceX. He lies about everything, except when he posts on Twitter like a 12 year-old edgelord, because that's who he is, emotionally.
Finally, and this is for you, specifically: if your friends insist on supporting a fascist, a racist, a misogynist, or a bigot, because they think rockets are cool, maybe it's time to look for new friends.
I hope this helps.
And fuck Elon Musk.
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Tyler Owens x Reader: Read Between the Lines
Request: anonymous said: "I was wondering maybeeee if you could write some protective bf Tyler ( because i would be swooning ) maybe either someone keeps hitting on her so he steps in or someone maybe in another storm chasing crew is being mean so he steps in and defends her <3 idk"
Word count: 3.9k
Warnings: language, mild fighting i guess?? slight angst
A/N: sorry I haven't been posting as frequently! I started work up again and ya girl has been BUSY. Anyyywayyy, thank you for reading! please keep the comments coming! I love to see all your requests and I promise i'm getting to them as quickly as i can :)
âNeed anything?â Tyler asked, leaning against the hood of the truck in a way that shouldnât be as adorable as it is.Â
âIâm good,â you said, offering him a gentle smile before brushing a few loose strands of hair from your sticky forehead.Â
âYou wanna come in with me then?âÂ
You shook your headâ the idea of sitting in a stale diner with no AC was just about as unbearable as the thought of driving another second. âNo, I think Iâll stretch my legs out here.â
âOkay,â he said in a tone that indicated youâd be missing out. He gave the truck a pat before adding, âWe wonât be long.â
âTake your time,â you assured him.Â
He offered one final nod before turning and following Dani, Boone, and Lily across the parking lot. Dexter also stayed behind. Instead of shitty diner food, heâs opted to take a nap inside the RV accompanied by his noise canceling headphones and a fan blasting right at his face.Â
You were exhausted, down to your bones. You and the rest of the team had driven nearly six hours that day tracking a cell that hadnât ended up amounting to anything. You were stiff and tired and irritableâ just like everyone else. But you hoped that some time alone outside might help at least level out your mood.
You extended your arms over your head, groaning when you felt something lightly pop in your back, before craning your neck from side to side. The air was stiflingâ thick and humid with little to no breeze for any sort of relief. The heat hadnât broken in nearly a week, and unfortunately for just about everyone, the truckâs AC didnât work as well as it used to.Â
The parking lot to the diner was relatively empty. Aside from the crewâs RV and truck, there was an SUV parked in one of the front spots and a small sports car with a steady cloud of smoke pouring out the cracked window. Â
You let your eyes wander past the diner parking lot at the sprawling field across the road. The windmills were agonizingly still in the stale airâ like even they were desperate for some reprieve.Â
Your eyes fell shut as you took a few deep breaths, trying to get your bearings.Â
Your peace lasted for about thirty seconds. And then the sound of blaring music and screeching tires had you turning your pulsing head. Instantly, you rolled your eyes at the sight of the familiar vans pulling into the lot beside you.Â
Merrill Anderson and his crew started chasing in the area almost thirteen months ago. You knew because each and every moment that youâd known about their existence had been more painful than the last.Â
Anderson was a meteorologist out of Texas that wore a cowboy hat almost as big as his mouth and an inflated ego to match it. He made sure you and everyone else around him knew that he had a PhD, and therefore, in his opinion, was automatically more entitled to chase. Him and Tyler had hated each other from the moment they met while chasing an EF2 in Arkansasâ their feud only grew each time their paths crossed.Â
Anderson was grinning at you through the window as soon as his van rolled by. You did your best to avert your gazeâ hoping that lack of eye contact would avoid any sort of conversation.Â
Unfortunately, you werenât so lucky.Â
âThere she is,â he announced, boots scuffing against the dirt parking lot as he hopped out from the driverâs seat.Â
âNow what're you doinâ out here all by yourself? Your team finally leave you behind? Realized they didnât need two uni drop outs on their team?â he asked, tone already dripping in sarcasm.Â
He was an antagonizer who got off on provoking others. And although you and Anderson had your fair share of unpleasant exchanges, you knew he only ever bothered you to get under Tylerâs skin.Â
Tylerâs biggest weakness was that he was endlessly protective of the people he loved. You saw this particular trait as a strengthâ but you knew that Anderson fed off Tyler's anger, which you could only imagine was his intention now. Thankfully Tyler was in the dinerâ hopefully gorging on raspberry pancakes as you spoke. Because if he were to see Anderson talking to youâ you knew this whole interaction would escalate quickly.Â
âAnderson,â you sighed, leaning casually against the hood of Tylerâs truck. The smile you forced on your face was almost painful. âSo lovely to see you, as always.â
You hoped if you withheld from his taunting, he might move on quicker.Â
Instead, to your despair, he backtracked from his van to stand across from you. âYou guys go ahead,â he instructed his crew. âIâm gonna spend some time with my friend here.â
They nodded before heading towards the diner, leaving the two of you alone.Â
âYou should teach that hillbilly- boyfriend of yours some manners. If I remember correctly, last time I saw him, he drove through a puddle to splash me.â
You bit back a grin as you recalled the moment he was referring to. âIâm sure it wasnât on purpose,â you lied (it was absolutely on purpose).Â
Anderson chuckled. âYou knowâ I donât know if weâve ever had a conversation just us, without him lingering around. Youâre much more pleasant. Both in conversation and in looks.âÂ
You felt a chill run down the length of your spine at his wordsâ but the way he was looking at you was infinitely worse. You watched as his eyes flickered from your face to your chestâ currently more exposed than you would like in the tanktop you wore in the stifling Oklahoma heat. You wished you had grabbed a shirt to cover up inâ but they were all either dirty and packed away somewhere in your duffel.Â
Clearing your throat, you stood up straight and crossed your arms, attempting to shield yourself from his lingering gaze.Â
âOh, hey now darlinâ, donât cover up. Iâve been stuck in the van all day with these jokers, this is the most action Iâve gotten all summer.âÂ
You could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks as you tried desperately to remain level headed. Anderson was a jerkâ and heâd definitely make you uncomfortable⌠but you couldnât imagine that heâd ever actually do anything to harm you. Â
Then again, youâd never interacted with him for longer than a minute or two with Tyler and the rest of the crew at your side. This was uncharted territory that you didnât care to explore. You felt your earlier determination to handle him on your own fade away with uneasiness. Â
You turned your head towards the diner, hoping you might catch Tylerâs gaze through the window or something. Of course you were too far away for thatâ all you caught was the glare from the sun.Â
âYou know Iâm not used to seeing you in clothes like this, usually youâre all covered up,â Anderson whistled.Â
As soon as he took a step closer, you instinctively moved too. Except your legs collided with Tylerâs truckâ preventing you from actually going anywhere. For some dumb reason, you felt obligated to hold your groundâ to not let him see how uncomfortable he was really making you. But with each passing comment, you grew more and more fearful.Â
Anderson now had his body angled towards you with a look that could only be described as predatorial. âGod, itâs true you donât know what youâre missinâ til you see it. We should have these heat waves more often if it means I get to take a look at this every day.â
You tried and failed to remain stoic. You wanted to yellâ to tell him to shut the fuck up. But for some reason, your body and brain werenât connecting.Â
âCâmon, where is she?â he taunted. âYou know, your sweet side has its perks. But I much prefer âem a little spicy.âÂ
He took another few steps closer to you. It was subtle, but you noticed. Anderson was so obviously getting a kick out of whatever the hell he was doing here, and you were doing a piss-poor job at withholding from it, like youâd originally planned.Â
âWhy donât you come on back in my van with me,â he winked. âIâm not sure how your hillbilly does it, but I can show ya a real good time.âÂ
Get away from me, you wanted to scream. But your mouth wouldnât moveâ your voice was lost somewhere inside of you. And all you could get your body to do was lean away from him slightly.Â
âDonât be like that, darlinâ,â he cooed. He was so close that you could almost smell his breath. Your brain told you to fightâ to shove or kick or do something to get him away from you. But all those previous instincts you had to fight back faded into paralyzing fear.Â
Anderson reached across the space between you to move a loose strand of hair from your face as you began to tremble. âAnd donât be afraid, baby doll. I donât bite⌠too hard. Owens ainât gotta knowââ
âAnderson!âÂ
Your head snapped at the sound of a familiar voice⌠Not just any familiar voiceâ Tylerâs voice. He was currently storming across the parking lot with a look of pure hatred across his face. The second his eyes landed on youâ undoubtedly and obviously terrified, that anger only intensified.Â
âGet the fuck away from her,â he demanded. His eyes were narrowed and shockingly darker than their normal shade of sage.Â
âHere he is!â Anderson taunted. âHer douche bag in shining armor.â
You couldnât help but notice Anderson didnât step away. In fact, if anything, he looked like he was about to step closer, just to really test his limits. But then, to your relief, you saw Boone, Dani, and Lily storming out of the diner in Tylerâs wakeâ all coming to your rescue.Â
In an instant, Tyler was there, stepping between you and Andersonâ forming the protective barrier you needed to finally feel safe again. Without thinking, you fisted the back of Tylerâs T-shirt for good measure.Â
âEasy, Rambo,â Anderson sneered. âI was just tellinâ your sweetheart here how much I enjoy her new look. Who knew she had all this hidinâ under those baggy shirts? That the reason you keep her hanginâ around, Owens? I knew she had to be good for somethingââ
But Anderson didnât get a chance to finish his sentence. Because before you knew what was happening, Tyler was lunging forward and connecting his fist with Andersonâs nose.Â
The crack as it broke was deafening, you released Tylerâs shirt to cover your mouth in shock. Tyler hit him with enough force that he went staggering back a few steps, his hands instantly moving to cup his face.Â
Tyler was still shaking off his hand when Anderson stood up straight, blood pouring out of both nostrils.Â
âDamn, that bitch must be as good as she looks if sheâs worth all this,â Anderson continued to taunt. Even with a broken nose, he didnât back down. Â
Without even hesitating, Tyler moved to strike again. But as soon as he did, Boone and Dani were both stepping in front of him to break things up.Â
âEasy, Tââ Boone said.Â
âStay the fuck away from her,â Tyler snarled in warning, pointing his finger over Booneâs shoulder. Youâd never quite heard his voice so malicious or threatening before, and even though it was in your defense, it sent shivers down your spine.  Â
Suddenly, Lily grabbed your hand from the side, causing you to flinch. âItâs okay,â she said, tugging you a few steps away from the chaosâ like she knew how badly you needed space from everything. âYou alright?â
You nodded, flustered. Â
âNext time you want to settle this without your little army of strays, you let me know, Owens. And next time you want a good time, Y/N, you know where to find me,â Anderson said, offering you a wink that churned your stomach. With that, he wiped some blood from his nose and began sauntering back towards his van.Â
âIâm gonna fucking kill him,â Tyler snarled, still being physically held back by Dani and Boone.Â
âYeah, and heâd deserve it. But heâs not worth catchinâ a charge,â Boone said. âItâs been a slow season and we donât got the kind of money to bail you out of jail.â
âTake a breath, T,â Dani said. âHeâs walkinâ away. Take a breath.â
You watched Tyler slowly come back to his body. He listened to Dani and took a deep breathâ his shoulders visibly relaxing when he exhaled. It seemed to be enough for his friends to finally release him.Â
As soon as he was free from their grasp, Tyler turned aroundâ his attention landing on you. âAre you okay?â he asked, his previously menacing voice now laced with so much care and concern. He stood in front of youâ his body blocking all views of Anderson and their vans. His hands moved to cup your cheeks gently.Â
âIâm fine,â you said, attempting to convince yourself more than anyone else. But even you knew it didnât sound convincing. Your voice subtly cracked on the final word.Â
Tyler stroked his thumb along your skin. The look on his face told you he didnât quite believe you as his eyes flickered down to your trembling hands. Thankfully he didnât ask more.Â
âI gotta say that was a nasty right hook, T,â Boone said, clapping Tyler on the back as he approached. âI didnât know you had it in ya.â
âWhatâd that asshat say to you?â Lily asked. âYou looked really shaken up when we saw you out the diner window.â
âNothing,â you mumbled, too embarrassed to repeat his taunts. You were shocked by how self-conscious you suddenly felt with everyoneâs eyes on you. Andersonâs previous words had made you incredibly aware of every inch of yourselfâ like there was an electrical current humming underneath the surface of your skin.Â
âJust the usual shit,â you tried to brush it off. Â
You felt grateful when they didnât push.Â
Eventually, the crew disassembledâ everyone focused on getting their stuff together to hit the road again. Anderson didnât reemerge from his van, but as you sat idly in the passenger seat of Tylerâs truck, you didnât take your eyes off from where it was parkedâ like you were anticipating some sort of retaliation.Â
You remained hidden from the teamâ feeling so awkward and uncomfortableâ like you didnât want to be perceived or noticed by anyone. And you hated that Andersonâs words were the ones to make you feel that way. You couldnât find any shirts in your duffel bag that werenât disgusting. And currently you didnât have the time or patience to dig through your second bag in the RV. So instead, you wrapped your arms awkwardly over your chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible just as Tyler climbed into the front seat.Â
âEveryone else is riding in the RV, itâs just us,â he said, eyes lingering on you.Â
âOkay,â you said, trying your best to sound casual. You wondered if he ordered everyone in the RV so that youâd feel more comfortable. You made a mental note to thank him for that later, he was always so good at reading between the lines. Â
Tyler instantly noticed your uneasiness. âBaby, whatâd he say to you?âÂ
You shrugged, refusing to meet his gaze out of sheer embarrassment. âI mean, I think you caught the gist of it at the end there⌠Just a lot of that.â
You heard his loud exhale. âJust say the word and Iâll barge into that stupid van and kill him right now.â
The corner of your lip tugged into a small smile. âI just want you to stay here,â you admitted.Â
He nodded solemnly. Without another word, Tyler passed you something he had scrunched up in his fist. It was one of his T-shirtsâ like he knew you wanted to cover up without even having to say it. You took the shirtâ the thanks you wanted to offer him remained stuck in your throat, but Tyler didnât seem to mind.Â
Instead, he pretended to fiddle with the radio while you silently slipped the shirt on. Almost instantly, you felt like you could relax underneath the fabric of his clothes.Â
You curled your arms around yourself and tucked your knees to your chest. When Tyler asked if you were ready to head out, you nodded without another word.Â
âŚ
It was only seven when you arrived at the motel. Tyler went into the lobby to book the rooms while everyone else hung back. Boone and Lily were going on and on about using the pool later that night, but once youâd grabbed your bags from the truck, you sort of tuned it all out.Â
Tyler found you sitting on the curb once heâd passed out everyone elseâs room keys. He picked up your duffel from the ground before speaking for the first time in almost an hour.Â
âYou ready for bed?â
You nodded, offering him your best attempt at a convincing smile. Â
âCâmon,â he motioned his head to the left. âWeâre upstairs.â
Tyler led the way to your roomâ and even though this was a dingy motel, youâd never seen anything more perfect. The shades were dark, the AC worked, and there was a single, plush-looking queen bed in the middle of the room just screaming your name.Â
Tyler let you shower first. And when you emerged from the bathroom, all the sweat and grime finally washed from your skin, he was gone. But in his place, heâd laid out one of his T-shirts and a pair of his boxers on the bed for you to use. You almost teared up at the sight of just how thoughtful he was⌠Still reading between the lines.Â
Youâd spent the entire duration of your shower trying to convince yourself that what had happened earlier wasnât that big of a deal. Anderson was a jerkâ of course he was going to say some jerk-ish things. It shouldnât have been a surpriseâ and yet, you couldnât shake the discomfort you felt. It was like all the words heâd said to you had nestled underneath your skin and made a home for themselves.Â
In an attempt to shake the thoughts away, you quickly shrugged on Tylerâs clothes before sitting on the edge of the bed and wrapping your arms around yourself.Â
Almost as soon as you sat down, you heard the front door to the motel open up. Tyler stepped into the room carrying his own bag and a couple of water bottles he mustâve grabbed for the two of you.Â
âBetter?â he asked, handing you one.Â
You nodded and cracked it open. âMuch.â
Tyler sighed before joining you on the edge of the bed. âBaby, are you sure youâre okay?âÂ
âI-â you started and then stopped. Your hands were shaking, but you jumped when you felt Tylerâs hand close around yours, steadying them. His touch gave you just an ounce of courage to speak.Â
âIt wasnât even anything that badââ you admitted. âI meant it earlier, you heard the worst of it⌠I just, I don't know, I can't explain it. But everything he said made me feel so gross⌠and dirty, andâŚâ And, well, you didnât quite know what else. Words were hard to come by tonight.Â
âOh, baby,â Tyler exhaled. He released your hand to wind his arm around your shoulders, tugging you to his chest instead. Â
It wasnât until he shushed you that you even realized you were crying, but it came out in a rush. You clung to him, instantly impressed by his ability to just make you feel so much safer.Â
âIâm sorry,â you said.Â
âYou donât have to be sorry,â he assured you, only squeezing tighter.Â
âI donât know why this bothered me so muchââÂ
âBecause Anderson is an asshole and he intentionally said some gross shit to shake you up,â he answered for you. âYouâre allowed to be upset by that.âÂ
You exhaled against his shirt, and when you licked your lips, you tasted salt.Â
âIâm the sorry one,â he said.Â
âWhat?â you shook your head. âYou donât have to be sorryââ
âI should have been there.â
âYou were there,â you reminded him. âUnless I blacked out or something and I was really the one who punched him in the noseâŚâ
Tyler chuckled softly, you felt the vibration against your chestâ instantly soothing you.Â
You sighed after a moment, trying to decide if you wanted to share what was really bothering you. You bit the inside of your cheek. It was so tempting to keep it to yourself, but more tempting than that was the idea of finally feeling a little more at ease again after just telling Tyler the truth.Â
âI justââ you paused again. âIââÂ
âHey,â he said. You looked up at him briefly. âItâs just me.âÂ
That was the problemâ it was Tyler. And you didnât want Tyler thinking less of you because of what had happened.Â
âI didnât fight back,â you said quietly. âI just froze upâ it was like I couldnât even think straight. And he kept going and going, and I just stood thereâ taking it.â
Tyler ran his hand up and down your arm reassuringly. âWhat are you talking about?â
âIt just felt likeâŚâ your voice tapered off.Â
Tyler waited a moment before asking gently, âLike what?âÂ
âIt just felt like I didnât do anything to stop it,â you whispered so quietly you werenât even sure heâd heard you. âLike I let it happen.â
âBaby,â Tyler sighed. âBaby, no. Anderson is such a jackass, it wouldnât have mattered what you saidââ
âBut I could have told him to get the fuck away from meââ
âYou were just trying to keep yourself safe. Baby, we canât control how we react when weâre scared. Itâs fight or flightââ
âOr freeze,â you mumbled, embarrassed.Â
âOr freeze. Iâm pretty sure fawning is one too, now,â he said. âBut it doesnât matterâ what matters is you canât control that you froze. Just likeââ
âJust like you couldnât control punching him in the face?â you asked.Â
You glanced up just in time to see Tylerâs lips tug into a smile. âExactly,â he said.Â
âI just wish my fear reaction was a little more effective,â you pouted. âFreezing didnât do much.â
You let your eyes fall shut when Tyler tugged you closed to his chest. âI guess itâs a good thing you have a douchebag in shining armor to come help whenever you need it,â he smirked.Â
âThanks for protecting me,â you said quietly.Â
âIâll always protect you, you know that,â he said, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.Â
You smiled against his chest. You really did know that. âAnd thanks for punching him in the nose.â
Tyler snorted. âAndersonâs had that coming for a long time.â
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HELLLLLAAAAW THEEERRRE, LISTEN (or read), I've been thinking. THAT I LOVE UR WRITING A LOOOOT, and I've been waiting but before that, idrk if u take req rn so feel free to discard this request! anyway, back to main topic, I've been wondering how the hashira's would react to reader/their s/o, adoring their hands a lot, like i meanâ obsessed with their hands, whether its holding hands in public (or privately, if the character does not really like showing affection in public), or maybe yk hold hands in bed HWGAHGAHWHS, maybe, something like soft nsfw, like with fluff! u get me? just the character, comforting their s/o when they get too tense during their sexual intercourse, andddddd more fluff if u want! thank u for taking ur time to read!!
Male Hashira x Reader - Hold my hands
author's note: my fever has killed me a few times during this post.
pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader
content warning: nsfw, sexual intercourse (Rengoku, Giyuu), mildly suggestive (Sanemi)
Tengen:
⢠who knows exactly what his hands can do to you and despite his teasing nature uses them for your comfort
⢠enjoys seeing you calm down because of his hands and though he doesn't want you to feel bad he certainly doesn't mind calming you down
he's been looking towards the sky for quite some time now, sitting under the tree with the person he adored most.
you were so strong, so sure of your actions-
and sometimes you felt insecure and the worry seemed to consume you. he understood it, he understood your fear of failure and the future that would follow.
that's why he had no problems consoling you when you needed it most, taking his time to sit with you in silence. words weren't needed in these times, only the comfort of his presence.
he allowed himself to glance down at you, feeling the tender touches of your fingers on his. you were strong, he didn't doubt that, but your body felt so fragile compared to his own.
the difference in the size of your hands proved it to him every single time. he knew you could protect yourself, but if you couldn't, he would be there for you.
"i think i'm feeling better." you said, your eyes finally focusing on his face instead of his hands. you had been touching and playing with his fingers for quite some time now, your hold on them decreasing.
"ya sure? you still look down." he answered, earning a hesitant nod from you. feeling your hand let go of him made him act, bringing his own hand up to the back of your head.
"i don't believe it and lying is not flashy in my eyes. let's stay a bit longer." you were quite surprised when he pressed your head against his chest, looking up at the sky again.
somehow he always knew what you needed, even when you didn't admit it. and with a gentle smile, as well as his hand running through your hair, you sunk into a deep slumber.
Obanai:
⢠who is surprised when he found out you were fascinated by his hands.
⢠someone like you adoring a feature of his? the mere thought made him blush when he was laying awake at night.
⢠who enjoys holding your hand just as much as you, often turning into a blushing mess.
he knew he wasn't as strong as most other hashira. he was smaller, physically weaker. of course it gave him one or two advantages, like a flexibility the tall males around him could only dream about.
yet he secretly found himself craving their strength - at least a part of it. he wouldn't complain about a bit more arm strength, but that would remain a dream of his.
the moment he found himself content with the lack of strength he possessed clearly came with you. you had been sitting next to each other, simply enjoying the time you could spend together. at least that was what he was doing, your mind had long drifted away.
he tensed up when he felt your fingers brush over his, holding his hand. your thumb brushed over his knuckles comfortingly.
he didn't dare look at you, only turning towards you when he felt you glancing, uncertainty rising inside you with his current expression. his hand reached out to you when he felt you pull away.
"i shouldn't have done that, i'm sorry." you said, trying to escape any rising feeling of shame. you just didn't expect him to hold your hand tighter.
"don't stop." he answered, his tone letting it appear much more like a quiet plead. surprise overtook you, quickly replaced by a comforting shyness.
your fingers interlocked with his once more, this time with switched positions. you felt goosebumps appear on your skin, your cheeks heating up.
"your hands are soft, [name].."
Rengoku:
⢠whether it's in public or at home, he enjoys holding your hand just as much as you like holding his
⢠however, one attractive thing he does is taking your hand after overstimulating you
"honey.." he pants, trying not to cum a second time from the way you were squeezing around him, body basically trying to milk him even in your current state.
it had started a few hours ago, when he came home from a long mission. he had missed you during his time in the snowy mountains, deciding that his arrival would be the perfect moment to show you how much he appreciates your body.
having to cum multiple times - first his fingers, then his tongue and now his cock - was just too much for your poor body.
of course Rengoku realized that, seeing you shake and tremble under him, small tears running down your flushed cheeks. you were still caught up in your orgasm, trying to even out your breathing pattern.
"it's okay, we're done. breathe, little flame." he panted, hands letting go of the sheets of your shared bed, sitting upright and looking down at you.
he didn't pull out, simply admiring your panting form laying on the bed. his hands snaked along your arms, holding your hands and pressing them into the matress.
feeling the warmth of his palm press against yours got your attention, a silent moan leaving your lips. "are you okay?" the question made you nod quietly, finally being able to register the world around you again.
"'m so sore.." you mumbled, watching the man above you laugh, squeezing your hands in response.
Sanemi:
⢠he absolutely loves it
⢠you clearly developed a liking to your hand and he's fully using that to fluster you
⢠taking you by surprise is his favorite
you've been standing in the kitchen, making sure all the medical herbs you've received were in their right place. you needed to make sure they're easily accessible when Sanemi came home injured.
in your concentrated state, you didn't notice the tall man approaching you slowly - lurking like a predator.
and then you shriek, feeling a slap land on your ass. out of reflex you leaned forward, your head quickly turning around to find Sanemi right behind you.
"missed me?" he teased, stepping closer until he was right behind you, hands placed on the counter on either side of you. he pressed his body against yours with a smirk, resulting in your face getting a lot warmer than before.
"Sanemi! you always do this!" you scolded him, trying to turn around from the sheer embarrassment you just faced or rather the excitement that pooled in your body.
"what can i say? can't resist you with a fine ass like that." he chuckled, letting go of the counter to squeeze your behind with his calloused fingers, earning a whine from you.
"and truthfully, i think you can't resist me either." hearing him whisper into your ear, hand traveling up your side, made you stare at the watch.
he was right, you couldn't resist him, nor could he resist you. besides, the herbs could wait for a while.
Giyuu:
⢠initially he was the one that liked holding your hands, it was the most simple form of physical touch he could come up with
⢠still a touch-starved man, WILL have his hands on you the whole time when you're making love.
⢠knows it gets you more exited, wouldn't judge you for it either, since he gets just as exited when he sees you
"Oh~ baby.." he gasped, head resting against the headboard of your bed. he watched you lazily bounce up and down his cock, trying to work yourself into ecstacy.
whenever you were sharing such passionate moments with each other, he could feel his fingers twitch with the need to hold onto your body - onto you.
they first slid up your thighs, holding onto your hips, guiding you to grind back against him. he loved the feeling of your warmth and he loved the reactions his hands could coax out of you.
he didn't miss out on the way your lips opened in a silent cry, begging to feel his hands run over your body, around your neck or anything else that allowed you to feel them.
and of course he'll answer.
"hold.. hold my hands.. i want to feel you.." he moans, letting go of your hips only to intertwine his fingers with yours, feeling your hips stutter.
he certainly knew how to exploit your weakness for his hands - especially since he was just as weak for you.
Gyomei:
⢠likes using his hands to calm you down
⢠they're like a security rope connecting the two of you when the situation makes uncertainty rise within you
"my dearest child, are you ready to serve as a hashira?" the soothing voice of master Kagaya usually managed to calm you down, but not today.
you sat in front of him, a private meeting being held between the two of you and a pillar of choice. naturally, you went with the one you trusted most - the stone pillar.
it would've been an honor to serve as a hashira, every demon slayer knew that, but being confronted with the choice of being one, you found yourself unsure.
the pillars were the strongest humans you had ever set your eyes on, you weren't sure if you could stand by their side.
lowering your head in shame, you were ready to decline the master's offer. however, you were stopped by the blind man next to you.
he placed a large hand on your back, the warmth seeping into your skin slowly calming you down, letting you think properly.
you weren't chosen without a reason, if the master wanted you to become a hashira, he trusted in your talent.
swallowing down your uncertainty, you nodded with little to no hesitance. "i'm ready."
next to you, still his hand on your back, Gyomei found himself smiling. if it was his presence you needed to make a decision, he'd gladly do this for you everytime.
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pairing: spencer reid x reader
set sometime in early s2; you get stuck sharing a room with your favorite boy genius who absolutely cannot know that you have feelings for him. and also, thereâs only one bed. fluff, f!reader (i think there's only two usages of gender markers)
word count: 4.7k
notes: this is a rework of a very old fic i used to have up on ao3. i'm thinking i'll do more of these, i've got a few spencer fics in the vault and it was fun to rework this and see how my style has changed :)
You shivered against the cold desert air. Twirling a keyring around your finger, you headed for the door marked 3. You were exhausted from the day and so, so ready to collapse into bed as soon as you got inside your room.Â
You turned the key in the lock while Spencer waited behind you. It was late, and you and the team had pulled into a motel for the night, having been dragged out to a tiny rural town by the unsub after days of tracking him through surrounding areas. Heâd been apprehended, finally, and handed over to local police around midnight. You all had decided it best to spend the night before driving back into town in the morning for take off.Â
So here you were, at one of those single story motels that still used actual keys instead of key cards. Given the time of night, you knew vacancies would be scarce, so youâd already expected to have to double up on rooms. Gideon had stayed behind at Quantico, leaving Hotch and Morgan in one room and JJ and Prentiss in another, with you and Spencer sharing the last room. Youâd hung back while JJ got everything figured out with the concierge (who was just a bored looking kid posted at the desk), and then sheâd passed you your key with its little keyring attachment listing the room number and you all bade each other goodnight.
Youâd been on the team nearly a year already, but you were still the rookie compared to everyone else. Even Spence had two years on you. But seeing as you two were the youngest, and the least inclined toward the more physical parts of your jobâ the chasing, tackling, firing your weapon partsâ you were paired off with him more often than not.Â
You werenât complaining. Youâd come to know Spencer pretty well, and you didnât feel much apprehension at the thought of sharing a room with him for one night.Â
That is, until you opened the door.Â
âOh,â you said involuntarily. Â
"There's only one bed,â Spencer said.Â
âSure looks that way.âÂ
"At least it's a queen?"Â
There was a brief pause before you both started speaking at the same time.Â
"Maybe we can go back to the conciergeâ" Spencer began.Â
"I mean, I guess I don't reallyâ"Â
"âalthough, JJ did say we got the lastâ"Â
"âmind as long as youâ"Â
You cut yourself off this time. Itâs not like there was another good option, unless one of you wanted to sleep in the car. "This is fine?" it came out as a question rather than a statement.Â
"I think so? I wouldn't want toâ to make you uncomfortable or anything."
"This is fine," you repeated, more sure of yourself this time. âAnd you donât make me uncomfortable.â Â
It was only kind of a lie. You trusted Spencer with your life, of course. But he also made you nervous. He was sweet, kind, always seeming genuinely interested in anything you had to say. And of course, anyone could see that he was attractive. You were developing feelings for him, and in a job where your coworkers and your crush himself were all adept at reading people, it really wasnât a good position for you to be in. You just hoped Spencer was as oblivious with women as Derek made him out to be.Â
"We should get out of the doorway," Spencer suggested, and you realized you'd been standing in the threshold this whole time.
"Right."
The two of you walked in, Spencer closing and locking the door behind you. It was a modest room in a tiny town; your standard ugly-patterned, faded bedspread draped over the queen bed in the center, a window looking out into the parking lot, and a dresser that didnât even have a TV on top of it. You headed straight for the bed, sitting on the edge and removing your shoes while Spencer stood by with his hands in his pockets.
"You know, if it's a problem I can sleep on the couâ uh, the chair," Spencer offered, looking back mid-sentence and realizing that the only additional furniture this motel offered was one rigid looking armchair by the window.Â
"No, you're not doing that."
"What?" he asked, taken aback by the quickness of your response.
"You're not sleeping in that chair. It looks horribly uncomfortable and Iâm sure itâs never been cleaned, and I know how youâd feel about that.âÂ
Spencer grimaced, not having thought about that particular detail. âYeah, but, I mean⌠Iâd do it for you.âÂ
God, why did he have to say stuff like that? Like you were something special. And why now, when you were stuck in the same room with him until morning? It probably didnât even mean the same thing to him as it meant to you. He was one of the most caring people youâd ever met. Heâd probably say that to any one of you on the team.Â
Or maybe sleeping in a chair meant nothing to him at all. Maybe he actually didnât want to share the bed with you and thatâs why he was trying so hard to avoid it.Â
Ugh. You just wanted this day to be over. It was late, the case had been a week long, and now you were probably in for a fun night of overthinking and second guessing when youâd been expecting silence and easy, dreamless sleep.Â
Okay, maybe that last part was never really an option, but still.Â
âLook,â you sighed, âI know this isn't an ideal situation but there's a perfectly good bed here, so letâs just share it. If youâre okay with that. It's just one night and tomorrow we'll be back home and nobody has to know about it."
You had to fight from squeezing your eyes shut in regret. You wished that had come out differently. You chanced a look at Spencer, realizing that youâd been staring down at the faded carpet pattern while you spoke.Â
The look on his face was one you hadnât seen before, and you almost couldn't place it. He seemed sort of disappointed. Disappointed that he had to share a bed with you? Or that you'd made it sound like you didn't want to share a bed with him? Nope, you could not go down that road tonight. You shook your head once as if it would clear the thoughts from your tired mind.Â
âIâm okay with that," he said, casually enough that you could almost convince yourself that youâd just imagined the look on his face before. "So, do you want the shower first, or...?" Spencer asked.
"No, I can wait, you go ahead," you said. You desperately needed the moment to yourself anyway. Â
You started rifling through your bag for pajamas, toiletries, and your charger as an excuse to look busy while Spencer made his way into the bathroom with his things. As soon as the door closed behind him, you flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as if it might hold all the answers.Â
Spencer couldn't know about your feelings. For one thing, you were pretty sure there was a rule against dating your colleagues in the BAU. If not, there probably should be. You were such a close knit team, and if anything went wrong⌠you couldnât imagine how difficult that would be. But then, the evil and uncooperative part of you also couldnât help but think that things might go right.Â
From the beginning of your time at the BAU, youâd been drawn to Spencer. It just kind of made sense. Youâd gotten through school at an accelerated paceâ though not as quickly as him, the man was on another fucking level when it came to academicsâ and you were one of the only people who found his fact dropping actually interesting, often asking him follow up questions. Heâd looked adorably shocked the first few times youâd done that.Â
He listened intently to your passionate rants about your favorite films and tv shows, even though he hadnât seen any of them. When the two of you had discovered a shared interest in mythology and folklore, Hotch nearly had to separate you so you would actually get some work done. It was like you were a kid in school again, and you mightâve been embarrassed if you didnât find it so funny, if you werenât so giddy at the idea of a friendship that could make you feel like a kid again.Â
Spencer understood you in a way that other people didnât, laughing at your jokes even when they didnât land for anybody else. When people interrupted or spoke over you, he always paid attention, and in situations where you were trying to add details to the profile heâd bring the conversation back around to you.Â
Throughout your life youâd learnedâ through painstaking trial and errorâ to fit in pretty well in most any group you found yourself in, but youâd always considered yourself to be a little weird. A little too different. But when you were with Spencer, you felt like you didnât have to try so hard. You could both be a little different, together.Â
Spencer opened the bathroom door then, startling you. Youâd been so lost in thought you hadnât even noticed the water turn off. You looked over to see him wearing a loose white t-shirt and pajama pants, his hair still damp. And now you knew what Spencer looked like fresh out of a shower. And of course it was endearing as hell.Â
âIf thatâs how youâre planning to sleep,â Spencer began, referencing how you were laid out in the dead center of the bed, your arms fully outstretched and hands hanging off the mattress, âthen I think we might have a slight problem after all.â Â
You walked out of the bathroom a short while later, dressed in your usual sleepwear of shorts and an oversized shirt. Youâd put your hair up in a bun to protect it while you showered, and now it hung loose around your shoulders. You simultaneously wished your outfit was cuter and uglier; knowing your giant t-shirt wasnât flattering your figure while also feeling like you had too much skin exposed. Not that it mattered. You were just going to get some sleep and then wake up in the morning and head home. Everything would be back to normal.Â
Spencerâs in bed already. Heâd turned off the big light while you were showering, the lamps on either side of the bed casting him in a softer, warmer glow. He looked up from his book to find you standing there, and the soft, familiar look in his big brown eyes had you rooted to the spot.Â
âHey,â he said softly, patting the space next to him in invitation.Â
You conceded, finding your legs again and sliding into bed beside him. âHey.âÂ
He fidgeted with the pages of his book, ultimately shutting it closed on his index finger to mark the page. âSo, uh, are we okay?âÂ
âYeah, of course,â you answered genuinely, feeling bad that your internal struggle had manifested in a way that worried him.Â
âOkay, cool,â he said. He paused long enough to let you explain if you wanted to, another invitation. You knew he wouldnât push it if you didnât offer something up. You wanted to give him an explanation, but you couldnât bring yourself to.Â
âSorry,â you managed.Â
âFor what?âÂ
âI donât know⌠acting weird, I guess. Itâs just been a long day.âÂ
âOh, well, you donât need to be sorry about that. Youâre always weird.âÂ
Your mouth dropped open as you looked at him. âLook whoâs fucking talking,â you scoffed. Some of the tension dropped from your shoulders, glad he hadnât questioned you further.Â
âLanguage, please,â he held up a hand to stop you. âIâm delicate.âÂ
âWhaâ?â you let out a surprised little laugh. âYouâre an idiot!âÂ
âYeah okay, tell that to my Iâ.âÂ
âOh, my IQ of 187,â you finished for him, rolling your eyes. Even that was full of endearment. âGod, you are so annoying.âÂ
âHm. Yâknow, this might be a long night for you. Iâd hate to keep you up with my annoyingness.âÂ
âI feel like you couldâve come up with a better word than annoyingness, Mr. 187,â you tilted your head where it rested against the headboard, looking up at him.Â
âOh, sheâs being a smartass now!â he split into a surprised grin, and you could swear your heart skipped a beat.Â
âYou just said ass.âÂ
âWow. How quickly youâve corrupted me.âÂ
âRight, of course. Itâs my fault.âÂ
âI knew youâd agree.âÂ
âShut the fuck up,â you laughed.Â
Things felt a little bit more normal after that, joking around with Spencer like you normally did made the rest of the night feel less daunting.Â
Shortly after that, the two of you agreed that you should get some sleep, each reaching over to turn out the light on your respective sides of the bed.Â
You let yourself sink into your pillow, the exhaustion you had been feeling giving way to a hyper awareness of Reidâs body next to you. You were kept awake, completely overcome by the foot of space between you and Spencer; the consequences of crossing that space, the way it might feel, the curiosity over whether he was laying awake too, thinking the same thoughts as you. Even with that foot of space separating you, you could feel his body heat. You longed to move closer to him, to touch him, to let his warmth seep into you and lull you to sleep.Â
But you didnât, and you wouldnât, because this was just an unfortunate booking mishap. It didnât mean anything. Tomorrow it would be over, and you could more easily go back to hiding your feelings from everyone else and yourself.Â
Eventually, exhaustion won out.Â
You woke what couldâve been a few minutes or a few hours later, the sky still dark. You couldnât tell what exactly had woken you up, only the sense that youâd moved, almost like youâd fallen. But fallen from what?Â
You blinked in the dark, the street lamps in the parking lot providing enough residual light to keep the room from being pitch black.Â
Reid was sitting up. He mustâve bolted upright, you thought. Had that been what moved you? Were you lying on him?!Â
âHey, you okay?âÂ
âSorry. Just a nightmare,â he said as if it was nothing. âSorry to wake you.âÂ
âWhat was it about?â you ignored his apologies, sitting up as well.Â
âI don't really even remember,â he breathed, almost like it was funny. âJust having a physiological reaction to whatever it was, I guess.âÂ
You had nightmares too, of course. You all did. You hated remembering them, but you also hated the times when you woke up in the dark, dazed and inexplicably scared. Without thinking, you reached for his hand.Â
He turned to look at you then. âI really didn't mean to wake you,â he reiterated.Â
âI figured,â you smiled slightly. You noticed his breathing was just a bit too fast. You rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand, leaning over to rest your weight against his side, your head on his shoulder. His nervous system would regulate itself quicker this way.Â
âYou were on my pillow, by the way.âÂ
âWhat?â you ask, your head jerking back from him.Â
âI totally called it. You rolled right into the center of the bed in your sleep. Total bed hog.âÂ
âHey!â you protested, pulling your hand back from his in embarrassment. So you had been lying on top of him. Or at least really close to him. His hand chased after yours, finding you again.Â
âThat wasnât me complaining about it.âÂ
âOh,â was all you could think to say back.Â
It was quiet for a minute. You let your head fall back onto Spencerâs shoulder, but your heart raced in your chest.Â
âCan I ask you something?â he questioned, his tone becoming more serious.Â
âOhâ of course,â you answered, your brow creasing.Â
âWhat did you mean when you said âitâs not idealâ and ânobody has to know about itâ?âÂ
âWhâ Iâ Spencer, come on.âÂ
He didnât give you an out this time. Just waited for an answer.Â
âI donât even really know,â you sighed. Â
âI believe youâre being partially truthful about that.âÂ
âDonât profile me.âÂ
âIâm not. I just know you.âÂ
You sighed. âYou know, sometimes I hate that stupid memory of yours.âÂ
âI donât need an eidetic memory to remember that. It was a weird thing to say, and it happened like four hours ago.âÂ
âYouâre guesstimating. And it wasnât that weird.âÂ
âMaybe not, but the way you said it was. And youâre avoiding my question.âÂ
You continued to avoid it, biting down on your bottom lip.Â
âAnd you stuttered when I brought it up.âÂ
âI told you to stop profiling me.âÂ
This time, he just hummed in response.Â
âAnd so what if I stuttered?âÂ
âStuttering is usually more my thing. A nervousness thing.âÂ
Maybe this was actually your nightmare. Maybe youâd wake up soon and none of this wouldâve been real, and you wouldnât have had to explain to Spencer that the reason youâd had an attitude was because the situation tonight had made it harder to hide your feelings from him. Big feelings that became a lot harder to ignore when he was this close to you, still holding your hand, the mix of scents from his detergent and deodorant clouding your judgment. Of all the embarrassing scenarios that you couldâve imagined playing out tonight, this was very high up on the list.Â
âI said âitâs not idealâ because itâs not, just by definition. We were supposed to get a double room and we didnât. Not ideal. And I said no one has to find out because I can already see Morgan having a field day with it and I know the exact expression thatâll be on his faceââÂ
âThe eyebrows,â he nodded, lips pursed.Â
âAnd then everyone else will get in on it and I just figuredâŚâ you sighed. âI donât know. I didnât want to deal with that.âÂ
âThat all makes total sense.âÂ
âGood,â you breathed. Too relieved.Â
âNow tell me the rest of it.âÂ
âGod, Spencerââ you huffed out, frustrated. He knew you too well.Â
You wanted to run. Maybe you could go sleep in the car after all. And then ignore Spencer for the rest of the day, and then the year, and your life, andâÂ
âDonât make me say it,â you breathed. This had to be a dream.Â
âBut there is something to be said?â he questioned, his tone hushed, almost reverent.Â
It was just vague enough. You could pretend it was nothing.Â
âYes.âÂ
You felt like youâd just blown your life up with one word.Â
Spencer took a deep breath, your body cresting and falling with the movement of it.Â
âYou make me feel better about being myself,â he confessed. Â
You shut your eyes. You had a constricting feeling in your throat suddenly, and the awful realization that you might cry.Â
He spoke again, because you couldnât. âI havenât always felt good about it, you know? And then you joined the team, and, wellâ you changed a lot of things for me. And youâre beautiful, obviously, and I was scared to mess up what we have, because itâs special, I thinkââÂ
âIt is.âÂ
ââand then you started freaking out when you saw the bed,â he was smiling now, you could hear it, âand I thought, maybe it wouldnât be so crazy⌠maybe I could make you feel that way too.âÂ
âYou do. Of course you do. I feel like I can be my full self with you. I donât know that Iâve ever felt like that before.âÂ
Spencer laughed, a little delirious giggle, and squeezed your hand in his. Youâd managed to avoid crying, thankfully, and you grinned along with him, looking down at your joined hands as you squeezed him back.Â
Things seemed to still for a beat, the two of you sitting with this moment and letting it stretch out. You still couldnât really believe this was happening. You might have to tell Spencer to pinch you.Â
âSo what does that mean for us now?â you asked.Â
âWell, for right now at least, I think it just means that we can go back to sleep without overthinking things into oblivion.âÂ
âI was notââ
âOkay, this time I am profiling you, and youâre lying,â he cut you off, his smile still evident. Â
âOh, this was such a mistake.â
He continued like you hadnât spoken, laughing a little as he went. âI could practically hear it. Itâs like, you know when a computer is trying to use too much processing power and the fan starts whirring really loud? Like that but just like right next to me, like tangibleââ Â
âOkay! Thank you so much, I actually totally got it, you can stop now.âÂ
He laughed, and your cheeks warmed.Â
âFor the record, I meant we could both stop overthinking.â Then he shifted a little, facing you a bit more. With the hand that wasnât holding yours, he brushed a strand of hair from your face, a fake pout on his lips. âSorry I make you nervous.âÂ
You cackled at that, if it was possible to cackle in hushed tones. âOh, I bet you are. Besides, I know you like me now, so youâve lost that card.âÂ
âAre you certain of that?âÂ
âCertain that you like me or certain that you canât make me nervous?âÂ
âThe latter. I do like you, if that was unclear.âÂ
Your heart sped up, contradicting you as you answered, âThen Iâm certain you canât make me nervous.âÂ
He titled your face up to his then, using his index finger underneath your chin to make you look at him. âYouâre an awful liar.âÂ
You just shrugged, watching triumphantly as Spencerâs gaze fell to your lips. âItâs been working out pretty well for me so far.âÂ
âI guess it has,â he murmured, closing the distance between you and finally kissing you.Â
After so many months of imagining (and berating yourself for imagining) what Spencerâs lips might feel like on yours, you werenât disappointed.Â
For once you didnât have to think at all, the chemistry between you and him drowning out everything else. His hand fell to your waist, and yours moved to the curve of his jaw, pulling him closer as his mouth moved against yours. Your teeth grazed his bottom lip and he gasped, and your skin felt like it was lit up from the inside.Â
You pulled away to breathe, and to process, and to try and stop your head from swimming. You were rewarded with the awestruck look in Spencerâs eyes as he opened them again.Â
âOkay, was it just me, orââÂ
âThat was crazy,â you breathed.
âCrazy,â he agreed.Â
âSpence?âÂ
âYeah?âÂ
âI donât think weâre getting back to sleep tonight.â Your eyes widened at the implication of saying those words at that time. âNot, like, in the sex way, though,â you hurried to correct yourself. âI need like, 4-5 business days to process things first, and Iâ well, I just meant, likeâ you know?âÂ
Spencer was nodding at you even as his eyebrows pulled together in a frown. âCan I still kiss you during those 4-5 business days?âÂ
âOh, yeah,â you said, sounding breathless.Â
âCool,â he agreed. âYou seem really nervous, by the way.âÂ
âWell, you kissed me.âÂ
âI did.â Â
âHow were you not nervous?â you breathed.Â
âOh, I was. Your reaction is making me feel a whole lot better about it though.âÂ
You scoffed half-heartedly. âI do so much for you.âÂ
âYou do,â he replied earnestly, letting go of your hand to wrap his arm around your shoulders as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. âWe could lie back down, if you want. Like we were before I so rudely woke you up.âÂ
âYeah, Iâm super mad about that,â you joked. âAnyway, I was asleep for that, so youâll have to show me what I was doing.âÂ
He seemed all too pleased to do so. âOkay, so you were basically like,â he leaned back against the pillows, pulling you down with him, moving his hand to the side of your head to guide you to the place where his shoulder met his chest, âLike that, and then your arm was over here,â he picked up your arm and guided it around his waist.Â
âOh god, thatâs so embarrassing,â you said, realizing that he mustâve been awake when youâd done it.Â
âYeah, I know. Really terrible time for me.âÂ
âI can imagine. I can scoot back over to my side of the bed, just say the word.âÂ
âDonât you dare,â he said, squeezing you closer.Â
You trailed your fingers up and down his waist, feeling more content than you had in ages.Â
âI canât believe youâd suggest that I would have sex with you right after confessing my feelings. Like, take me to dinner first at least.âÂ
âOh my god,â you half-exclaimed, half-laughed. You felt your cheeks heat up again, grateful it was still too dark in the room to be noticeable. âYouâre right, Iâm so sorry. Howâs next Friday?âÂ
âHmm, I donât know. My work schedule is kind of unpredictable. Iâll have to get back to you.âÂ
âYouâre such an ass.âÂ
A few short hours later, you were back on the jet with the rest of the team. You were lying on the couch while Spencer sat in a seat one row up and across from you, both to avoid suspicion and so you could try to catch up on sleep. He sat facing away from you, but with the angle you were at you could still see one side of his face if you tilted your head up.Â
You were just beginning to fade when your phone buzzed next to you.Â
Spencer: I have to tell you something, coworker to coworker.Â
You looked up to see him blank faced, looking down at the book in his right hand, holding his phone in the left.Â
You text back: okay?Â
Spencer: My crush asked me out last night.Â
Youâre exceptionally glad no one was sitting close enough to see you. Spencer had caught you off guard, and you felt an infatuated grin spreading across your face.Â
You: what did u say?Â
Spencer: Wanted to get your opinion first.Â
You: i think u should say yes, obviously.Â
Spencer: Idk, Iâm kinda nervous. I think sheâs trying to jump me on the first date.
You just barely managed to refrain from laughing out loud. You looked up at Spencer again, and heâs looking at his phone as if it contained nothing more than a weather report. Youâre astounded.Â
You: one could argue that technically youâve already slept together, so thereâs less to be nervous abt
You saw his eyebrows raise just slightly. Success.Â
Spencer: Youâre trouble, you know that? See you Friday night
You: i promise i wonât try to jump youÂ
Spencer: Oh
Spencer: I fear I may have shot myself in the foot here
You: i wouldnât worry about it too much
Spencer: Thatâs rich coming from youÂ
You rolled your eyes even though he couldn't see you.Â
You: whatever. wear something sexy ;)Â
You heard him blow air out of his nose, an almost laugh.Â
âSomething funny?â you heard Derek ask.Â
Shit.Â
âThis book contains a historical inaccuracy that was proven incorrect eight years before its publishing date,â Spencer replied without missing a beat.Â
Unbelievable.
You: youâre unhinged :*
Spencer: Go to sleep already, would you?Â
You: coworker to coworker? my crush keeps interrupting my beauty sleepÂ
Spencer: Heâs probably worried about the worldwide implications of you becoming any more beautifulÂ
You: i guess thatâs why the universe gave you insomnia :( too prettyÂ
Spencer: Stop flirting with me
You: bc youâre too delicate??Â
Spencer: YesÂ
You snapped your phone shut, feeling dazed. You watched the clouds go by in the window across from you, and you couldnât help letting your gaze slide over to Spencer. Heâd put his phone down as well, concentrating on his book. Or pretending to concentrate. He was turning the pages much too slowly for his actual pace.Â
You: you have got to do a better job of fake reading than that
You heard a page turn.Â
You looked up again to see the ghost of a smile threatening the corner of his mouth.Â
This was going to be fun. And also, you were so screwed.Â
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Hello,Do you have any tips for recovering from internet brain rot? It's like my patience has dried up and if there's a huge amount of text (even about topics I'm very interested in) that I have to read, I get annoyed and just don't interact with the material at all.
I have multiple tips!
TL;DR (Because of course I generated a wall of text): Take a break from the internet, create a schedule for getting yourself used to reading longer texts, take breaks while reading, and perhaps reconsider how you interact with The Internet and the world in general.
Here are the basic "to reduce the brain rot just don't interact" tips:
Take a break. Give yourself time off from The Internet (for these purposes The Internet is the social media industrial complex; clickbait news, recommended videos, social media sites, etc. You don't have to totally check out of email or your local news site, just get away from the huge time sucks). I'd say to take at least one day a week where you're online for less than an hour a day, and to maybe work up to doing a week-long break from whatever the main agents of rot are.
Once you've identified the main agents of rot, give yourself a time limit or set up rules for yourself. I don't let myself look at social media in bed, for instance; no staying up late on my phone, no scrolling before I get up and start my day. I don't give myself a strict time limit anymore, but for a while there I was very firm about "you only get to go online 4 hours a day" with myself.
Don't comment (or at least only share the things you really want to share). If you feel the need to argue, or if you feel pressured into sharing something, don't. Step back, maybe even open the post in a new tab or send it to yourself, and come back later. If you've been thinking about it and have decided it IS something you care enough to talk about, share it. If you look at the tab and feel stressed out or still feel reactive, close the tab and walk away.
Go out and interact with the real world in a non-work capacity for a few hours a week; take walks or go shopping or go out and take pictures of insects. Touch grass so that The Internet is not the only thing you're doing with your downtime.
Here are the "work on reading longer texts specifically" tips:
Set a reading goal for yourself. Maybe you want to read one New Yorker article a week, maybe you want to read all the way through news articles, maybe you want to read novels like you used to in high school. Figure out what your actual goal is and articulate that goal to yourself.
Set up a practice schedule and gradually increase the amount of time you're reading. Don't go from short tumblr posts to a novella, go from short tumblr posts to slightly longer news articles, then to slightly longer essays, then to a novella. You can do this in literal paragraphs if you want to - maybe your goal for your first day is to read five paragraphs in a row, and the second day is seven, and the third day is ten, etc, until you are comfortably reading for longer amounts of time without counting paragraphs. (Try this with books from gutenberg.org; read a classic you haven't read a few paragraphs at a time and if you find yourself going over your paragraph count, let yourself run with it. If you finish a book, good for you, find another one and start again.)
Set up a maintenance schedule. If your goal is to read longer news pieces, try to read a longer piece every week and try to read to the end of every news article you open. If your goal is to read novels or longer nonfiction, try to read a book a month (maybe setting aside dedicated time each week to read, maybe Thursday evenings are book time now). If you find yourself falling back into old habits, take a break from The Internet and do some more rigorous practice for a while.
If you find yourself getting frustrated while you are reading you can also take a break! Read until you get frustrated and then *instead of switching to a different page or closing the article* close your eyes or look out the window or away from the screen for thirty seconds (count 'em! count out the time in your head) and then continue reading. You can also take a longer pause and sit and think about why you're getting frustrated. Is it the subject matter? Is it just looking at this text for longer than a couple minutes (if you are experiencing FOMO because you're reading for another few minutes instead of scrolling, the harder tips at the bottom are going to be important to you)? Are you comfortable? Are you reading this text to procrastinate from something and the procrastination is making you nervous? Are you trying to read to the bottom of your dash and reading a long post is taking up more time than you want while scrolling? Are you bored? Genuinely and very seriously: are your eyes straining and does your head hurt (if this is the case when is the last time you had your eyes checked or your glasses prescription updated)?
Here are the much harder "examine yourself and reassess your reactions to things" tips:
Work on re-training your attention span.
Identify something that you enjoy and find deeply engaging, and schedule some dedicated time for that thing. Set a literal timer (it can be a short amount of time at first) and sit down and do the thing without switching to a different website or opening up an app on your phone. This can be re-reading or watching a couple episodes of a show you like or listening to your favorite album while you sit down and draw. What's important is to spend a longer time focusing on doing something you DO like before attempting to spend a longer time focusing on something you DON'T like.
When you're starting on things you DON'T like, start with things you mildly don't like, or that feel tedious but aren't actually unpleasant. One way I do this is by transcribing poetry; I look up poems that I connect to and I transcribe them into a notebook that I have for that purpose. I enjoy having the finished product, but I don't enjoy the process, so it takes some effort to stick with it. Maybe there is a boring book you have been trying to get through, maybe you need to detail your car, maybe you've been trying to take up embroidery - these are good things to make yourself pay attention to (having music or a podcast on can help, but avoid watching videos or opening social apps)
When you're okay at that kind of thing (doing something not actively unpleasant) work on your attention span for things you ACTIVELY don't like. I don't think you should be a masochist about this, but you should work on being okay with doing unpleasant things for a sustained period of time. All of us have to do unpleasant stuff sometimes, and it's better to be able to pay attention to it for an hour at a time than it is to put it off forever.
This leads into the next Big Tip which is:
Work on being less reactive
Find something that you dislike; I'm going to use conservative talk radio as my example.
Expose yourself to the disliked thing for short periods of time (under ten minutes, maybe under five minutes).
Work on moderating your emotions during the time spent exposed to the disliked thing. If it makes you angry, work on intellectualizing the anger without becoming agitated by it. If it makes you sad, work on accepting that sadness without letting it drag down your mood. This isn't precisely about becoming numb to stimuli, but it is about being more in control of how your emotional reactions impact you.
Analyze the disliked thing. Why does it make you angry? Is that on purpose by the creator of the thing? Would it make someone else angry in the same way? How would you explain the anger to a neutral third party?
Consider responding instead of reacting. Let's say you're seeing a lot of very sad and upsetting things online and it's making you sad and upsetting you. You re-share these things because you don't feel like there's anything else you can do or you get angry when you see people sharing incorrect information, perhaps you argue with people about this. Now try looking at the upsetting things through the lens of point number four. This has upset you; how has it upset you? And once you've thought about how it upset you and have articulated that to yourself, find out what you can DO. I cannot make conservative talk radio go off the air, but I can support the groups harmed by conservative talk radio; thus there is no point in me getting upset and angry about conservative talk radio when I could be helping the people they target instead.
And that gets us to the last big tip which is:
Ask yourself if you are spending your time in a way that is enjoyable and edifying.
We all have limited time in our days and limited time in our lives. If you are finding yourself frequently frustrated online, it's a good time to consider whether you want to be spending so much time online.
If you feel like The Internet has become a rat race in which you can't read more than a few paragraphs without getting frustrated, there's a good chance that not only are you spending too much time on The Internet, but you're also spending it on doing things that you don't particularly like.
A realization like yours, Anon, that you are getting frustrated with any longer texts, can actually be really helpful because it provides a good opportunity to look at what you're engaging with and consider the questions:
Is this something I enjoy?
Do I feel good when I do this thing?
And that's a great way to figure out how to get rid of things that are leading to your background frustration. Maybe that looks like paring down the list of blogs you follow, maybe that looks like unsubscribing from some youtubers and podcasts, maybe that looks like uninstalling apps, maybe that looks like blocking a whole bunch of people and terms on your socials.
I don't think that everything we do has to help us grow as a person or expand our consciousness or anything like that, but I do think it's important to prioritize doing things that you like and doing things that you feel good about.
Like, I'm not doing something *wrong* if I spend an afternoon on Youtube watching drama channels every once in a while, but if I come out of a few afternoons of watching youtube drama channels feeling restless and anxious and like I wasted my time - even if I enjoyed myself while I was watching - it's probably a good idea for me to take a break from drama channels and see if there's something I can do instead that will make me feel better.
ALSO, A NOTE:
You are an animal that requires significant enrichment in your enclosure.
Think about tigers. Tigers in captivity are going to be excited to get high-value treats for any reason. They will eat and enjoy the treats. But if a tiger in captivity is only given the treats and never given any other form of activity to engage with, it is not going to be a happy tiger. If you start putting their treats in a pumpkin or a puzzle feeder or giving them toys to play with, that is going to be a much happier tiger.
Please give your brain things to play with that are more than just treats (though it does need some treats!). Make yourself a happy tiger. Your brain need a puzzle feeder, not a treat button.
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I'm late, I'm sorry, but here's the full fic from this WIP post yesterday!
[CW: bullying, references to canon racism and violence, mentions of recreational drug use]
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Steve makes it to the bathroom down the hall from the shop classroomâthe one thatâs far from the cafeteria and always empty during lunch, where people really only come to smoke, anywayâbefore he completely loses his shit.
âSon of a bitch!â Heâs almost screaming as he hauls off and punches the wall of one of the bathroom stalls, putting every ounce of anger and frustration and humiliation into it, hitting it so hard that the whole construction rattles.
âMotherfucker,â he hisses, shaking his hand out, because it had hurt, and then he winds up to do it again, to make it hurt more, because at least heâs in control of that much, at least itâs anything but what heâs feeling right now.
âThatâs a good way to break your hand, yâknow,â a voice comes from the doorway, startling Steve into pivoting and aiming his fist at whoever is coming after him now.
He stops short when he sees nobody but Eddie goddamn Munson standing there, cringing into a startled flinch to protect his head as Steve nearly swings at him.
âJesus shit,â Steve barks, dropping his fist and stepping back, shaky with adrenaline. âYou walk like a fucking ghost, Munson.â
Munson peeks out of his defensive crouch before straightening up and sending a meaningful glance at the stall wall. âSomehow, I donât think you wouldâve heard me even if I was making all the noise in the world.â
Steve shrugs, his shoulders staying up near his ears in a defensive slouch. He can feel something dropping out of his hair and down the side of his face, and he feels the humiliation all over again as he tries to swipe it away.
âWhat do you want?â he asks, beyond caring if he sounds rude; he thinks heâs entitled, considering.
This time, Munson shrugs, a rolling, casual thing that belies the sharp look in his eyes. âCame to see if you were okay, I guess.â
Steve snorts. Is he okay?
Like, in the grand scheme of things, the answer is a really shaky âmaybe.â But lately? Itâs more of a resounding âno, not fucking really.â
Aside from everything else â aside from the nightmares, aside from the headaches, aside from the fact heâd had to drop basketball after his concussion, aside from having no real friends or allies at school now that he and Nancy arenât together â aside from all that, thereâs Billy fucking Hargrove.
Hargrove, who had taken all of a month to start pushing Steveâs buttons again. Who had taken less than a few days after that to realize that Steve wasnât going to push back.
And then heâd started looking for the boundary line, pushing and pushing, shoulder-checking Steve in the hall, tripping him in the single class they share, knocking shit out of his hands, shoving him when his back is turned, all the while spitting names and insults, until it had culminated into todayâs fiasco: dumping a carton of chocolate milk over the top of Steveâs head in the middle of the cafeteria with a deeply unconvincing âoops.â
It had gone dead silent, every eye in the room on Steveâs red face and Hargroveâs triumphant grin, while Steve had only been able to stand there, shaking with startled rage as milk had sluiced out of his hair and seeped into his collar and down the back of his shirt, knowing that he couldnât retaliate.
He couldnât.
Heâd marched out of the cafeteria, shame and anger growing as voices had bloomed up behind him, already gossiping and speculating.
So, no, actually, heâs not really okay.
But instead of saying any of this to Munson, he just scoffs and turns away, looking towards the sinks.
âWouldnât have expected you to care,â he says, injecting as much lazy indifference into his voice as he can, trying to armor up the way he used to. âThe number of speeches youâve given about how much me and my group suck, Iâd have figured youâd be the first to say I deserved it.â
Munson doesnât say anything for a moment, and Steve doesnât look back to see if the barb landed. He doesnât really care, he just wants the guy to go away so Steve can finish his meltdown and clean up in peace.
âNot your group anymore, though,â Munson finally says.
Steve shrugs, pulling a wad of paper towels from the dispenser; might as well move on to cleanup if Munson isnât going to fuck off. He guesses his little breakdown can wait until he gets home.
âHasnât been for over a year, now, right?â Munson goes on. Steve says nothing, using a dry paper towel to try to blot up the mess. âAnd whatever you were like then, youâre⌠less like that now. Like, anyone paying attention can see youâre kinda trying something new this year.â
Steve ignores the way that makes something catch in his throat. âThanks for the endorsement,â he drawls. âIâll put it on my college apps: Not as much of an asshole as I used to be.â
âItâs a start,â Munson says, and Steve glances up in time to see him shrug in the mirror.
âI guess,â Steve mutters.
âAnd, uh â hey, I grabbed your stuff,â Munson says, holding up the binder and notebooks that Steveâs attention had glossed over until now. âSome of itâs kinda⌠milky, sorry.â
Steve blinks. âUh. Thank you,â he says, stunned for a moment into sincerity.
Munson shrugs again, putting Steveâs stuff up on the narrow shelf on the wall that no one ever uses to hold things because itâs probably never been cleaned. Not like Steveâs stuff is clean now, anyway.
Steve turns back to the sink, wetting a few of the paper towels and waiting to see if Munson is going to leave now.
âWhat I canât figure outââ nope, apparently heâs staying, ââis why youâre in here punching the wall, instead of out there, punching Hargrove.â
At least that makes more sense; heâs here out of curiosity, not concern.
âI mean, most people wouldâve hit him for that,â Munson goes on. âI wouldâve.â
But Steveâs already shaking his head before Munsonâs finished speaking. âNot worth it,â he says firmly.
âWhat, afraid of a little suspension?â Munson asks, almost teasing. âPretty sure the school would let their golden boy off with a slap on the wrist.â
âNot anybodyâs golden boy anymore,â Steve snaps, scrubbing a wet paper towel through his hair in a vain attempt to get some of the rapidly-drying milk out. âI dropped basketball, remember? Didnât even go in for swimming this year.â
âOh, yeah,â Munson says, like heâd genuinely forgotten. âSorry, not really into the whole⌠sports scene. Like, at all.â
Steve shrugs. âWhatever. Not important. I donât give a shit about being suspended. I donât even care if he hits me back. Not like I need another knock to the head at this point, but â whatever.â Steve shakes his head. âItâs just that he couldâ there are other things he could do.â
In the mirror, Munsonâs eyebrows go up. âWhat, does he have blackmail on you or some shit?â
Steve raises his brows right back. âIf he did, do you really think Iâd tell you?â
Munson tips his head to the side. âYeah, okay, fair enough.â
âAnyway, he doesnât have blackmail, he has⌠leverage, I guess.â Steve lets out a harsh sigh and gives up on his hair for now, wetting a paper towel to try to get some of the milk off his face and neck, instead.
ââŚare you allowed to tell me what that is?â Munson asks after a moment.
And for a moment, Steve thinks about it. The only people in school who really know are Nancy and Jonathan, and heâs asked them to follow his lead in just â not talking about it. He hasnât told anybody any version of what happened in the Byersâ house, or why Billy seems to have made him his personal stress ball. But who the hell would Munson tell? All his nerdy friends in his game club?
(No, no, thatâs not fair. Steve doesnât even know those people, and heâs trying not to be that guy anymore. He doesnât have to be nice, but he shouldnât be unkind.)
(The point stands, though â who would Munson even tell?)
âDo you know why Hargrove beat my face in back in November?â Steve finally asks, avoiding Munsonâs eyes in the mirror by focusing very hard on getting the tacky milk off his hairline.
âWell, Iâve heard most of the rumors by now, I think. Heard Hargroveâs version of events, as has pretty much everyone, Iâm sure. Havenât heard yours, though,â Munson says, his voice tilting up in interest. âI just figured it was because he hated you.â
Steve lets out a humorless laugh. âYeah, well, youâre not wrong. But alsoâŚâ He pauses for a moment, collecting his thoughts. âThere are these kids I babysit. Sort of.â
âSort of?â Munson presses.
âWell, most of the time it feels like theyâre just ordering me around like a bunch of entitled shitheads. But I make sure they get where theyâre going without, like, disappearing, and that they donât have so much unsupervised time that they manage to get themselves killed,â Steve admits.
âUh huh,â Munson says; he sounds⌠a little confused, but not disbelieving. âAnd you ended up with this gig, how?â
âItâs Nancyâs little brother, and his little nerd friends,â Steve says (heâs allowed to call them nerds because he knows them, and itâs true. And besides, itâs affectionate).
âAaand youâre still doing it now? Even though you and Wheeler arenâtâŚâ
Steve shrugs. âThey grew on me. But thatâsâ thatâs not the point. One of the kids is, uh. Hargroveâs stepsister. And the night me and Hargrove got into it, I guess she wasnât supposed to be out.â
âAh,â Munson says.
âYeah.â Steve sighs, giving up on the milk as a bad job; he probably shouldâve run off to the gym showers instead of a shitty bathroom. He turns and leans back against the sink, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the floor near Munsonâs scuffed sneakers. âSo he came looking for her.â
âSo⌠Not that Iâm advocating handing over children to pieces of shit like him, but â like, wouldnât it have been the technically correct thing to do, to send her home with what is legally a family member?â Munson asks.
Steve passes a hand over his face. âShe was terrified,â he says quietly, feeling a little like heâs betraying Maxâs trust by saying it out loud, by saying it to a stranger. âShe was terrified of what he would do if he found her there, where she wasnât supposed to be. Terrified of what he would do to one of the other kids if he caught them together, since heâd specifically warned her to stay away from him.â
âWhatâs wrong with this other kid?â Munson asks, brows furrowed.
âNothing,â Steve bites out. âHeâs smart, and heâs brave, and heâs, like, slightly less of an asshole than some of the others, but what Hargrove cared about is that heâs black.â
âYouâre fucking kidding me,â Munson snaps, and Steveâs hackles raise, ready to defend his kid all over again if he has to, but before he can get anything else out, Munson goes on. âWe already knew he was a racist piece of shit, but â a fucking kid?â
Steve subsides. âYeah. A fucking kid. So I told them all to stay inside and I went out to try to head him off. Or at least keep him out of the house. Which, obviously, I failed at.â He lets out a derisive little laugh, aimed solely at himself. âHe knocked me on my ass, knocked the wind out of me, got past meâ and by the time I was able to get up, he was alreadyâ he was inside, and he had that kid by the collar, up against the wallâ one of my fucking kidsââ Steve breaks off, the same rage and terror from that night choking up in his throat again. After the day heâs had, his emotions are all too close to the surface, too near to bubbling out, and he rubs at his nose, trying to stave off the angry, exhausted tears he can feel pricking at the corners of his eyes. âSo I decked him.â
âGood!â Munson exclaims, and for a moment Steve actually manages a real smile.
âYeah,â he says. âThen he hit me back, which, like, obviously. I was expecting him to, butâ I mean, I mightâve actually won that fight if the fucker hadnât hit me in the head with a plate.â
The expression that crosses Munsonâs face is almost comically shocked. âWhat?â
âYeah,â Steve says again, running a hand over his jaw, thumbing almost unconsciously at the still-fading scar where the porcelain had sliced him open. âIâm a little fuzzy on shit after that. Like, I remember being on the floor, and him kneeling over me, and hitting me, and hitting me, and thenâ I dunno, nothing.â
Distantly, Steve realizes that the expression on Munsonâs face has turned from âcomically shockedâ to âmildly horrified,â but heâs a little too lost in the blurry memory of that night to do much about it.
âHoly shit, how are you not dead?â Munson blurts out.
He looks like he immediately regrets asking, but Steve finds heâs actually grateful for the question. Heâs glad to move the conversation along.
âMax.â He smirks over at Eddie. âHargroveâs stepsister. I guess she, uhâ threatened him with a baseball bat? Saved my ass.â
Thatâs a deep over-simplification, but Steve canât think of a way to explain the presence of heavy sedatives in the Byersâ house, and, anyway, she had threatened him with a baseball bat. The kids had all taken great joy in reenacting the way Max had nearly neutered Hargrove with the nailbat, actually; itâs almost like Steve had been there (and conscious).
âHoly shit,â Munson says, and whichever part heâs referring to, Steve is inclined to agree.
âYep. So I was out fucking cold at the time, but the kids all insist that she got him to agree to leave her and her friends alone, butâŚâ Steve shakes his head. âHargrove is a fucking psychopath. I donât trust him to keep that promise. So, at least if heâs focused on me, he might leave her alone. But if I hit backâŚâ
âYou think heâll retaliate by going after one of your kids,â Munson says, only a hint of teasing in his words at the end.
âI know he will,â Steve says; Hargrove had implied as much more than once. He crosses his arms back over his chest. âAnd they are my kids.â
Munson throws his hands up, as if in surrender, but heâs definitely smiling now.
âIâm serious,â Steve insists, close to smiling himself. âThey think Iâm stuck with them, but theyâre the ones stuck with me.â
âLucky them,â Munson says, andâ what?
âWhat?â Steve asks.
âLook, youâre either a better actor than, like, everyone in the drama club, or you at least seriously believe what you told me, which is more than I can say for Hargrove and whatever shit he came up with about the two of you getting into it over⌠what, his car was better than yours? Heâs better at laundry ball? I donât fucking remember, and it doesnât really matter, because it was clearly and pathetically fabricated,â Munson says with an authoritative nod. âYou, at the very least, really give a shit about those kids. So, yeah. Lucky them.â
âWell,â Steve scrambles for a moment, trying to cover the way he actually feels like he might start fucking blushing, âif Iâd known all I had to do to change your mind about me was tell you about a fight I lost, Iâd have done it ages ago.â
And now Munsonâs back to smirking at him. âSeeking my esteem that badly, Harrington?â
âWhat? No. I mean â notâ not specifically yours, itâs just⌠like, thereâs not really an easy or fast way to make up for being kind of a dick for the last⌠while.â Steve runs his hand through his hair, stopping with a grimace when he remembers the drying milk. âYou just have to keep not being a dick and hope people give you a chance. So, like, compared to that, convincing you was easy.â
âAnd all you had to do was get a severe concussion first,â Munson drawls.
Steve rolls his eyes. âI didnât say it was severe.â
âYou got hit with a plate,â Munson deadpans, and Steve canât quite help the resulting flinch, at which Munson almost immediately softens. âSorry.â
Steve shakes his head. âItâs fine.â
Mouth screwed to the side, Munson eyes Steve for a moment, glancing over his shirt and up to his face before gesturing at him. âYou want some help with that?â
Steve blinks at him. âWhat?â
âYour whole⌠hair situation. You could bend ovâ like, you could lean over the sink and I could, uh. Try to rinse it for you. Or whatever,â Munson offers, awkward but apparently sincere.
It sounds like a stupid as hell way to try to rinse his hair. The sinks are small, and not exactly high off the ground; Steve would have better luck just going to the locker room and showering it all out. His soap is there, too, and an extra shirt.
On the other hand, Steve really doesnât feel like leaving the bathroom yet. Heâs pretty sure lunch is going to end soon, and encountering everyone during passing period sounds like a nightmare. In here, with Munson, itâs quiet. It feels almost safe.
âYeah, sure,â Steve finally says, and Munson looks nearly shocked that heâs accepted.
Credit to him, though: he doesnât back out. He just slides his jacket off, tosses it up over the wall of one of the bathroom stalls, rolls up his sleeves, and gestures for Steve to lean over the sink.
âHot or cold?â he asks, going for the taps.
âHot,â Steve answers immediately; he doesnât need any other cold liquid on his head today.
âHm.â
âWhat?â
âNothing,â Munson says airily, turning on the water. âYou just kinda strike me as a cold shower guy. Like, up at dawn, go for a run, take a cold shower â all that weird jock shit.â
It isnât intended to mock, Steve realizes as Munson tests the water temperatureâthe school pipes take forever to heat upâbut to tease. Itâs a joke, and Steve is invited in on it. And anyway, itâs⌠actually kind of close to the mark, so Steve doesnât say anything at all for a moment as he puts his head as close to the faucet as he can get it and Munson places one cupped hand over the back of his neck and uses the other to scoop water over Steveâs hair.
âCold water is better for your hair. Not that youâd know anything about that.â Steve finally says, hoping that his own teasing tone carries even with the way he has to raise his voice to be heard over the running water.
Luckily, Munson sounds amused when he answers. âOh! Shots fucking fired. I see how it is!â Even as heâs pretending at being offended, his fingers stay gentle against Steveâs scalp as he tries to scrub out the dried mess, and Steve fights very, very hard not to shudder.
He canât remember when the last time someone touched him with gentle intent was. Maybe heâd gotten a hug from Dustin last week?
Shit, thatâs fucking pathetic.
He tries even harder not to lean into the touch, into the surprisingly kind hands on the back of his neck and on his scalp, tries hard not to act like some kind of touch-starved weirdo and make Munson regret offering to help.
The irony of the fact that Steve is trying not to act like a freak in front of Eddie Munson is not lost on him.
After another couple of minutes of Munson manipulating Steveâs head this way and that, doing his best to be thorough, he lets Steve go entirely and shuts the water off.
âThatâs probably as good as Iâm gonna be able to get it,â he says, pushing another handful of paper towels at Steve as he stands up.
âBetter than I couldâve done here,â Steve says with a shrug, rubbing the paper towels over his hair and grimacing as he can feel it frizzing in about a hundred different directions.
When he finishes, he turns to look in the mirror, watching in real time as it droops over his forehead and tickles at his wet shirt collar. Munson stands next to him, watching without judgement, but with what feels like an inappropriate amount of fascination.
âWell, Iâm not going to lie to you,â Munson says at last, âyou look a little like a sad, wet dog.â
Steveâs eyes snap to Munson with a glare. âGee, thanks.â
âSome people are into that!â Munson insists, holding his hands up placatingly. âThat droopy aesthetic, with the big, brown puppy eyes. Someone might just wanna scoop you up and take you home to take care of you. Itâs a thing.â
Do you want to? â the question comes immediately and unbidden to Steveâs head, and he quickly shakes it away. They might be on amiable terms right now, teasing each other a little, but he isnât sure that wouldnât be a bridge too far.
(He isnât even sure it is teasing. For a moment, heâd had the genuine urge to ask.)
âAnyway, I think most of the mess is out of your hair, but Iâm pretty sure your shirt is toast,â Munson goes on, gesturing to the brown stain around the collar, over one shoulder, and probably down the back.
If heâd been wearing a darker color today, it mightâve been alright, but of course today heâd chosen light blue. Steve sighs, plucking at the front of the shirt. If he canât salvage it, he might as well ditch it; itâs getting uncomfortably stiff and tacky with the dried milk, and heâd honestly rather stick it out in his undershirt for as long as it takes him to get to the locker room than walk around with evidence of Hargroveâs little stunt all over him.
He untucks the shirt and yanks it over his head, no need to be careful of his hair, emerging from the depths of it to find Munson staring at him in a stunned sort of silence.
âWhat?â Steve asks. âIf itâs wrecked, anyway, I might as well get rid of it. Iâve got a spare shirt in my gym locker I can go grab.â
Munson blinks at him, almost like heâs trying to clear his head. âOr!â he practically shouts â possibly louder than he meant to, since he continues more quietly, âOr, you could just ditch for the rest of the day. I mean, you have any particularly interesting classes after lunch you feel the need to attend?â
âNot really,â Steve admits with a huff of a laugh. âBut leaving after that feels a little likeâ letting Hargrove win. Like Iâm retreating or some shit.â
��Nah, donât think of it like that.â Munson tosses an arm over Steve shoulders, waving his other in front of both of them, like heâs trying to show Steve a grand vision and they arenât both just staring at the ugly tile on the bathroom wall. âThink of it as cutting class and getting free weed from Hawkins Highâs most esteemed dealer.â
Steve turns to look at Munson, staring at him more closely than heâs ever had reason to, and realizing there are tiny freckles on his face. âWhat, seriously?â
âSure.â Munson shrugs. âLemme smoke you out, Harrington. Seems like a good way to let your stress go for a bit â though I am just a little biased.â
âWhy?â Steve asks; he doesnât understand the sudden turn this day has taken, the sudden and bizarre kindness offered that he doesnât even know what heâs done to deserve.
Munsonâs eyes slide away from Steve, though his arm notably stays draped over his shoulders. âBeen where you are. Itâs not great. And, I mean, if it had happened last year, then, admittedly, I probably wouldnât have given as much of a shit. Jock on jock violence, whatever. But you,â he glances back at Steve, âyouâre genuinely trying to be, like, a good person. And I donât think you should be punished for that. I think, in fact, that you could probably use a friend.â
âIâŚâ The words stick in Steveâs throat, because what the hell can he even say to that? On anyone else, Steve would have assumed an ulterior motive, but Munson had infused it with so much awkward sincerity that Steve canât help but realize itâs probably the nicest thing anyoneâs said or offered to do for him in⌠heâs not even sure how long.
His silence must stretch on a little too long, though, because the hopeful light in Munsonâs eyes fades a bit, and he begins to slide his arm off of Steveâs shoulder. âOr, yâknow, you can tell me to fuck off, because Iâm, like, way overstepping some boundaries, andââ
âWe should go to my place,â Steve blurts, while grabbing Munsonâs wrist for some insane reason.
âWhat?â Munson blinks over at him, (understandably) startled.
âMy place. We should go there to smoke. If you still want to.â Steve could cringe for how stilted the whole thing is coming out. âI want to be able to take a real shower.â
Munson stares at him for a moment longer before laying a hand over his heart with a gasp, suddenly leaning heavily into Steveâs side and forcing Steve to wrap an arm around his waist so they donât both lose their balance.
âI see how it is!â Munson gasps dramatically. âMy sink shower just wasnât good enough!â
Steve holds in a laugh. âYour sink shower was⌠fine. But Iâve got milk dried in other uncomfortable places, so unless you want to wash my back for me, too, we should go back to mine.â
Munsonâs gaze snaps back to Steve, something a little odd in it, and â oh. Oh, that hadnât sounded quite like Steve had meant it. It had sounded a little like an offer of the kind you donât go around making to just anybody.
Steve braces himself, waiting for the reaction (he doubts if Munson would get any kind of physical, but there will probably be an awkward pulling away and sudden remembering of something he has to do literally anywhere else that afternoon), but all Munson does is break into a sly smile and say, âI could, but Iâd have to charge you extra.â
Steve canât help it: he laughs, giving Munson a good-natured shove, who finally releases Steve but doesnât stumble more than a couple of steps away.
âMeet you at my place?â Steve offers, balling up his shirt and dropping it on top of his notebooks as he grabs them from the shelf. âHalf an hour?â
âWouldnât miss it.â Munson gives him a corny little salute before grabbing his jacket from over the stall wall and preceding Steve to the bathroom door.
âMunson,â Steve finds himself calling out, just as the other boyâs hand closes around the door handle; Munson glances back and Steve fights the urge to look away. âUh. Thanks. For, like⌠yeah. Thanks.â
Whatever meaning Munson takes out of Steveâs absolutely eloquent verbal vomit of gratitude, it makes him smile. âNo need for thanks, man,â he says. âIâm honestly a little surprised to say it, but the pleasure was definitely mine.â
And then he disappears out the door, leaving Steve in the bathroom wondering how the hell his day had taken this turn, and just what destination itâs leading him to.
And thinking that heâs honestly a little excited to find out.
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hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.
as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)
but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:
changing expectations
the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!
my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.
when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.
so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?
with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.
with that in mind:
#1: work slower
when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.
instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.
i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm onlyâ[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!
now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.
doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.
however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:
#2: switch projects
sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.
this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.
the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-moleâthough i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.
what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.
but it doesn't have to stop there.
#3: switch focus
maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?
let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:
what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today.
okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now.
alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily?
what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?
and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?
what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for?
what if i try sampling something obscure?
what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?
any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.
or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.
but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:
#4: learn something new
when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.
for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. đŚđ´ââ ď¸)
it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)
that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:
music theory and composition
music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang
mixing and production
dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix
general inspiration
nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!
(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! đ)
of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:
#5: consume art you love
not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.
but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.
and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.
what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.
as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.
none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.
and finally,
#6: rest, and live your life
let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?
take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).
it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machineâand even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.
i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.
when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)
before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:
be kind to yourself.
being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to youâdon't be one of them.
i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.
i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.
thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.
with care,
bee đŚ
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I saw your post it's cute! Honestly. Is it cool if I request in Freader is Narumi Gen sweet little sister so every time he Soshiro is flirting with her he gets all brotherly protective of reader. Hehehe
genre/warning: fluff, attempt at crack, protective onii chan narumi kekeke
a/n: ok but like the way my brain is suddenly so full of ideas to write abt big bro!narumi ??? i could make a whole mini series of it wtf (if i'm invested enough ofc) /srs . btw thank you for the request !! this rly scratched an unknown itch inside my head <3
edited: now a mini series!!
there had been times when you'd find it entertaining to watch a documentary of animals brawling against each other, be it for territory, food, mates, family or even just sheer dominance.
the act of violenceâ no matter in what formâ has been such a familiar concept to you since you were a mere child growing up with narumi gen, your older brother. there was a lot of underhanded competition going on with the other orphan kids so naturally the two of you had to do anything you could to survive.
not to mention you secretly dreamed of becoming a defense force officer, wanting to fight the monsters that had once destroyed everything you used to call home.
although now that you've successfully achieved said dream, you didn't think you'd have to witness actual violence among coworkers in the jakdf as well, and you are definitely not talking about sparring or training sessions whatsoever.
the real enemies are supposed to be the kaiju's, no? so why are you here, standing awkwardly behind your brother who is undoubtedly radiating such ferocity towards the man who just gave you a simple compliment a few seconds ago?
in fact, narumi is absolutely seething.
you tug at the back of your brother's shirt for the nth time, trying to hold him off from acting on his current emotion. "gen, stop! i told you it's nothing for you to be worried about." you groan, sending another apologetic look to hoshina but the third division's vice-captain only smiles softly at you, shaking his head.
narumi seems to glare even harder. "you bowl-cut freak! you just committed the biggest crime ever! eyes off her, you bastard!" he growls. unfazed, hoshina tilts his head to the side. "i only said that miss y/n here is lookin' good as always. care to explain what is so wrong about that, captain narumi?"
your cheeks flush slightly at his words but narumi loudly scoffs, "foxy eyed folks like you should knâ" your brother doesn't get to finish his words when the other man cuts him off, "i apologize, you two. but i've been here for too long, i'm afraid captain ashiro is searchin' all over for me. so if you'd kindly excuse me," hoshina hums, starting to walk away.
you catch his gaze as he steps past you, sending you a sweet smile and subtly reaching out his hand. returning one of yours, the two of you share a lingering touch of your fingers but sadly, it doesn't go unnoticed by narumi.
your brother gasps scandalously, "y/n get behind me! you're gonna get cooties from that thing!" he claims. your irritated huff of "what if i get cooties from you instead, gen?" is blatantly ignored as narumi snatches your hand before swiveling his head to face the vice-captain once more. "you did not just touch her, fox eyes!" he snarls.
hoshina doesn't even bother looking back as he casually waves. "i didn't. you should probably get yourself checked, captain. maybe your kaiju eyes have been chipping away at your vision."
narumi continues to throw colorful insults at hoshina's disappearing back, making you sigh exasperatedly. for some reason you're feeling a sense of deja vu; what does this remind you of, you wonder.
oh right, the animal documentaries.
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. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !
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