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#I'm testing a theory that I have with this post
nebulathunderwave-art · 3 months
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Emergency puppies for A-Cheng
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lord-squiggletits · 7 months
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Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.
Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.
Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.
I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#yeah i'm apologisting again i guess my mental health is somewhat okay again dkdkkxckkddkd#(my followers seeing me post about pharma) nature is healing#there's also that line where pharma says 'maybe i can help' and skids is like#'fuck off and hope we don't beat you to death after this is over'#they didnt know that pharma was a test subject of the killswitch but wow#that's prolly one of the most out of pocket moments of the story that ive never seen anyone mention#honestly that moment is why i think JRO didnt intend pharma to be That Deep#i feel like that sort of 'not even other autobots like him' treatment is something#that comes up a lot in JRO's villain writing. or like asshole behavior towards some characters#is just plot events proceeding as usual. nothing to see just villains getting their due#tho tbh pharma's character in general suffers from the problem that he's so closely related to a main/major characyer#that it wouldve made way more sense for him to be written in earlier#so all his connections w/ ratchet and the plot had to be established retroactively#also speaking of 'asshole behavior excused bc it's towards a villain'#all those times when people are like (fucking amazing piece of medical research by pharma)#'then he started murdering his patients. what a piece of shit'#like idk it could have been intentional but imo all my readings of pharma were not really intended by JRO#and i'm fully just headcanoning and constructing theories on my own#like pharma was simply not important enough or a major enough character to get fleshed ojt#so basically we get enough pieces of him to establish continuity and a general timeline of his life and thats all
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crystalkitty1220 · 4 months
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
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#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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future-crab · 11 months
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Thinking about the time at the beginning of all this when my doctors told me the soonest they could schedule a test to try and determine what was going on with me was April, and I told them, "I don't think I can live like this until April."
And now it's October...
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viulus · 2 years
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Ok I said that I was done talking about the shootout scene, but no. Listen. When the scab leader approaches Kim from behind while he's assessing your condition, you can do a skill check to warn him. That skill check gives you a bonus and is easier to pass if Kim trusts you, and even *more* bonus points if he *really* trusts you. I have a hunch that if you don't warn Kim to turn around then he DIES. Like listen. You're more likely to be able to warn him to turn around if he trusts you, okay? Whether or not Kim trusts you can be a deciding factor in whether he lives or dies. Do you hear me? His level of trust in you can determine his fate! DO YOU HEAR ME. WHETHER HE TRUSTS YOU OR NOT CAN DETERMINE IF HE LIVES OR DIES. LIKE HELLO!!!
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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years
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Since more than one person was curious, I'll explain! (these are asking about this Stellarlune survey) Short answer: I'm also not sure how it relates, which is why I asked. I'm using the answers to find out if they relate to liking Stellarlune at all or not!
Each question in the survey (which has gotten 100 responses!) is to test a potential theory; the survey as a whole is testing multiple. I wondered what made people like Stellarlune and if certain people were more likely to enjoy it, and came up with a few hypotheses. Each hypothesis is being tested by those questions.
For example, one theory is that if you ship sokeefe as they're presented in canon, you're more likely to enjoy Stellarlune. That's why I asked whether or not you ship sokeefe.
Another is that if you're closer to Sophie's age, you'll view her development and push-back more positively, and therefore be more likely to enjoy the book. I realized I now see her as younger than me, and that affected how I viewed her actions, and I thought if I had read this book when I had been her age I would've been more enthusiastic. Hence the question about age (though non-specific for internet safety reasons).
Another relates to gender and orientation, what you asked about. Since sokeefe was prominent, and sokeefe (in canon) is a very alloromantic heterosexual pairing, I thought it was possible people's identities, whether or not they can relate to that pairing, impacted whether they liked the book or not. It did for me, but I wanted more data to further explore that possibility. Hence the identity questions!
It's entirely possible that I will find no significant correlation between identity and Stellarlune enjoyment. I'm just collecting data for a potential theory, same as all the other questions. But, I won't know until I analyze it! And I can't analyze it unless I ask! That's why those questions were there and what I'm gonna do with them :)
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luvsavos · 1 year
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til a surprising amount of people theorize that the scarlet mystery man is an elder dragon/black dragon in human form
#mar.txt#monster hunter#i mean the thought passed my mind but also it wasn't too serious + i have a Lot of monster ocs that can do that#honestly i thought the whole monsters taking a human/etc form was exclusive to the rp community (mostly on twt since that's (unfortunately)#where i rp at. discord too with 1x1 stuff but twt is where the rpc is)#so i'm quite surprised to see theories of that out in the wild#since i (mentally ill) immediately thought of my own headcanon lore and was like ohoho. wouldnt it be fun if he was some kind of black#dragon either genuinely trying to help people OR just trying to fuck with them to test their skill#but i didnt think that kind of theory would be like. a legitimate One that some people have#there's also the theory that he's not A Monster In Human Form but is resonating with one which might make sense (tho idk if humans can#actually resonate?)#which feels a bit more plausible to actual strictly canon lore#tho i think the Most plausible going strictly by actual legitimate canon and not my own canon would be that he's like. a wyverian. or not#a singular person at all but a group or a mantle being passed down overtime#though that ofc doesn't explain how he has so much knowledge about the first class monsters......#anyways. i'm having a normal one thanks for coming to my tedtalk#also shoutout to the person in the comments section on the youtube vid i watched that inspired this post who said maybe he's a vampire#vampires are cool and sexy and i think there deserves to be more in the games that i play
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girlbob-boypants · 1 year
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Mmmm. I wonder if I have/have developed OCD
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Yall know the posts that are like "you can usually tell who little sister is bc she'll be the taller one", lets test that theory
if you need an example, my sister is older than me by 3 years and I'm taller by a few inches
Edit: 1) sorry to all the middle children out there!! I didn't mean to forget yall on purpose it slipped my mind when I made this poll, take a cookie as an apology 🍪🍪🍪. Just choose whatever option fits best and explain in the tags if you feel like it.
2) the formatting of the polls are like that bc it was late asl when I made this poll and it made sense to me at the time, so sorry again if yall have trouble understanding the poll
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graciousdragon · 7 months
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woe, Sona be upon ye
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cocklessboy · 1 year
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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galactic-rhea · 4 months
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The Midi-chlorian essay only a few asked
(or, How Is Anakin Skywalker a walking biological horror)
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So I made this post and a few were actually interested, also i needed to write down all of this or I wouldn't be able to sleep.
The way I went just from "hahaha they're just mitochondria before becoming forced symbionts and losing all autonomy" to the Medical Horror that would be Anakin Skywalker .
Let me explain, going from this theory, let me tell you that the average mammal cell can have between 800 to 2000 mitochondria. In Star Wars we're told that the average living being, has 2500 midi-chlorians per cell. The difference isn't that big, so we can assume that mid-chlorians are smaller than our real-life mitochondria, and it would make sense since the mitochondria have the best possible living conditions, whereas midi-chlorians, if they're free-life bacteria (as in, they aren't forced to live in the cells of another being) it would make sense if they're just smaller, let's say, sneaky, to increment their chances at living.
So Midi-chlroains don't just produce ATP, Force sensitives have a minimum of 4000-5000 midi-chlorians per cell. That's...a big number, but not very horrific. See, the amount of mitochondria is related to how much energy the organic tissue requires. The cells of muscular tissue and neurons are the ones with the highest mitochondria count. Also the mitochondria in the neurons are mobile and flexible, because just thinking burns ATP.
We can assume that using The Force burns insane amounts of ATP, so I assume it makes sense for Force Sensitives to have big amounts of Midi-chlorians. But! The problem with this is that we're told that the Midi-chlorians are attracted to the force, not born within it. But any multicelullar organism (with a few exceptions) need the mitochondria. Mitochondria have their own ADN, and they're always inherited from the mother, so we can assume that there's two different types of midi-chlorians: The ones any normal being borns with, and the ones that get attracted because of the baby's force potential. Either that, or both the mithocondria and the midi-chlorians exist simultaneously.
Which means that Jedi (or anyone who wants to know, really) would need to take several blood tests for midi-chlorians count. Because a newborns midi-chlorian count wouldn't be the same through a babie's infancy. UNLESS...The midi-chlorian infection (yes, i'm calling it that) ocurrs already since the pregnancy, if the force is strong enough for a fetus to be a possible force sensitive in the future, then I guess the midi-chlorians would get attracted to the parent during the pregnancy as well.
WHICH BTW, IT FITS WITH PADMÉ BECOMING FORCE SENSITIVE, at least for a while, like the discarded ROTS concepts. But also, would mean, that poor Shmi became a hella strong force-sensitive person as well, at least for a while.
And it would be a biological advantage if we take this route, because it would possibly make the pregnant being stronger and with a higher supply of energy.
It also explains why the jedi would only take a single blood test when the force sensitive is just a baby, because the infection is already settled. It can also be argued, that any baby born with a fairly high amount of midi-chlorians (like the 4000 per cell count minimum) would only increase, if only slightly, as the force sensitive grows because the midi-chlorians will get attracted regardless.
There must be a limit, or more like, a balance, that the midi-chlorian and the force potential of the individual met. As in, there's just enough force within the individual for a certain number of midi-chlorian, and all of this is probably decided already during the fetus formation or very early on the baby's life.
Now, Anakin...would be an abomination. Because his cells are so full of midi-chlorians, that it's scary to think how the cells aren't exploding or downright giving malfunctions to the rest of the cellular organelles.
If we go by the route of "midi-chlorians start infecting the force sensitive host mother during pregnancy" it means there were high chances of a misscarriage or an incompatibility between Shmi and Anakin, because holy cow, Anakin is just too much.
But you know what also, it could potentially mean? That Padmé's pregnancy was a risky one, fron the start -slowly nods-. Luke and Leia's force potential was lower than Anakin's, but there's still a lot to unpack there in terms of compatibility. We are never given the exact count of midichlorian count for the twins, but let's pretend it was low enough for Padmé to not inmediatly have a miscarriage. That, and also, maybe, Padmé isn't strong in the force to manipulate it, but maybe just close enough for the pregnancy to be carried to term, let's say, her midi-chlorian count is 3900, close enough.
Something similar with Shmi, I'm taking for granted that she also had a difficult and risky pregnancy (on top of it being a pregnancy she had no agency). It becomes worse because, unlike the twins, Anakin is just...50% human. The only possible genes Anakin has are from Shmi. So he's probably...genetically, almost a clone of Shmi but with a massive infection of Midi-chlorians (yes, this implies that Anakin has homogametic sex chromosomes, aka XX, there's no other possible explanation because he literally only has Shmi's genes to work with!).
But he's Space Jesus, though,so let's pretend that the "no father genes" helped with this and allowed Anakin to grow into a...normal-ish baby despite it all.
Midi-chlorians must be extremelly small, closer to the size of a virus in this case, viruses vary on size and the way they infect the cells is by hijacking the nucleus, which then can produce more viruses instead of its own proteins. This can vary anywhere between a production of 50.000 to 100.000 viruses produced by infected cells.
Which, btw, still fits somewhat with the mitochondria theory, because mitochondrias are believed to have been from a genus of bacteria called Rickettsia, which used to be believed to be the in-between of Viruses and Bacteria due their small size and extreme endosymbiotism.
Still, we aren't even told how many midi-chlorians Anakin had, just that it was over 20.000 and thus the chart couldn't even register it. Even if we're just counting 21.000 midi-chlorians per cell, that's...a lot. Even if the relationship is symbiotic and positive in nature, that's excessive, an infected cell will usually die faster. So Anakin's cellular death must be on record time.
The life span of a cell varies highly depending of the type of cells, white cells can live about 2 days, others about 5, and then there's others that live about 6 years in average.
Forget all of that, Anakin's cells die anywhere between a few hours and a week. Which also means a super fast regeneration and healing (Hey! that tracks, that's how he didn't die even though he should have, on several ocassions).
But that's not the only problem here, the production of energy is strong with this one, too strong. Again this should make the cells burst due too much ATP because of an increase on osmotic pressure. Anakin is producing so much damn ATP (which we can assume it becomes glycogen stored in muscles and fat tissue) his need to be active and just doing something skyrockets, he might as well be the equivalent of being high on meth since birth.
The accelerated cellular formation and death, gives me the horrific idea that Anakin was probably one of these babies that are born premature, but also that he probably was bron with, idk, teeth and already lots of hair. Maybe that's also why he got so tall of all sudden, lots of cellular grow, huh.
Anakin seems to age normally by what are we given by canon. So despite it all, his life-span or aging doesn't seem to be compromised, this is probably because of how strong he is with the Force. In the sense that...he needs the midi-chlorians to handle this much power, but he also needs the force to handle with that many midi-chlorians, otherwise he would have been already born dead.
See, ageing has a lot to do with stem cells. Anakin's stem cells need to be highly prolific and potent to keep cellular division happening at such a high rate, we can infer that any force sensitive has potent stem cells, so the force must inherently affect stem cells. So Anakin's stem cells must be monstruosities in efficiency. If Anakin donated stem cells to someone else, that person would either have a strong inhumne reaction against them or they would get some of the worst cancer ever seen. Again I'm no expert, but the fact Anakin doesn't develop cancer at all as soon as he was born is already impressive. The rate in which Anakin's cells die must be ridiculous, even has a baby, he must have required tons of energy and endure lots of stress which...tracks. The fact he gets electroshocked, burned, gravely wounded or whatever every week or so, must help him to no develop some cancer, which is a bit funny.
But it would also mean he can go long periods of time without eating or resting like...a normal human. Not saying that he doesn't need it, though, but his neural activity and use of the force must be high at all times to burn out that much energy. Theoretically, the production of glycose and glycogen helps him through long periods without sleep or food so he doesn't get long-term damage, or at the very least the ability to keep going, like I said, maybe is like being on drugs all the time; there's still the need to sleep and eat, but he can push his body to keep surviving beyond what's considered normal without having long-term damage. (Don't get happy, this isn't taking into account all of the stuff that happens to him, lol)
The balance between burning too much energy and not burning enough must be insane as well. As Vader, a lot of this probably watered down because all of his energy must be saved for...you know, surviving all the torture. But as a young teen/man amist war? Oh boy.
I'm not an expert, but I'm theorizing that putting Anakin in an induced sleeep must be...fricking hard. Painkillers that work on him? fricking hard. Anesthesia? Probably the same used for big animals, he must be insane and awful for a doctor to work with! Just imagine it, he probably gets injured in such a way that would have anyone else fall unconscious, but Anakin remains awake and with tremendous amounts of adrenaline triggered by a stress response sustented by the extreme amounts of energy that the midichlorians produce.
When it happens in the central nervious system, excess of ATP can produce neuronal dysfunction. In fact, many degenerative mental illnesses have a lot to do with a malfunction of the mitochondrias. There's a corelation also with neurodivergency sometimes, like autism or ADHD. I will leave it there.
And with all of this...I also conclude that Anakin, on general basis, doesn't like sugary things and doesn't even rationalize why, but is because he has already enough glycose. Having something sugary probably gives him a headache.
God what has Star Wars done to me.
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arthallea · 2 years
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today i learned i likely am allergic to something being used in the laundry, which i learned because my ass cheeks have been on fire a good portion of the day due to a single pair of my underwear
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libraincarnate · 5 months
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astrology notes: 17 (mature edition pt. 2) ♡✨
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quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences based on astrology. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. you can apply the astrology notes below to your mars, venus, pluto, lilith, and eros placements since they relate to sex, desire, seduction, and attraction. and for those same reasons, those planets, points, and asteroids may be mentioned repeatedly throughout this post in addition to aries, scorpio, and the 8th house. so, apply it how it fits according to your chart. keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. lastly, minors do not interact - sexual content - mature readers only! enjoy 👄
🌷lilith in the 5th house: could be into provocative or sexual ways of performing like being a stripper or burlesque dancer. if they’re not the one’s doing the dancing then they may like going to strip clubs or burlesque shows. regardless, 5th house placements might like to dance on their partner, like giving them a lap dance. or they like playing strip games that lead to sex such as strip poker, beer pong, twister, etc. and like gemini, those with mars in the 5th house are most likely a big tease.
🌷sag is considered the type to go from person to person, but for the right person they’ll be willing to wait for marriage if that’s something sag and their partner wants. that could also be something that attracts sag to that person - their unwillingness to compromise their faith in God or their observance of their religious principles such as not having sex before marriage, but also the fact that their person isn’t quick to give in to what sag wants or to fall for sag’s charm.
🌷 leo may prefer to have the lights on rather than off. they want to see theirs and their partner’s body, but they also want their partner to see theirs. how else is their partner supposed to compliment them on how good they look naked? and like 2nd house placements, they may like to watch themselves having sex in the mirror. they could even want a mirror on the ceiling above their bed.
🌷 virgo risings may come off as innocent but with aries in their 8th house, not only do they prefer a partner who is dominant because they're typically the submissive types, but they also have their moments where they want to take over and express a little bit of their dominant side. they can take it but they can also give some of that same energy back. in this case, their looks may be deceiving and their sexual side may come as a surprise. this individual, including those with mars in virgo, can be quite picky with their sexual partners. and if you’re going to have sex with them, they’ll most likely make sure you’re clean first. this can mean taking a shower first or at least having clean hands/nails and no body odor. in addition, they could be the type to want you to get tested first to make sure you’re clean from STDs, and for these reasons they might not be interested in one night stands. 
🌷 asteroid eros (433) in aries and even other aries placements may like their head held and caressed or having fingers running through their hair, and they might like pulling on their partner’s hair. they’re also the types to want to see and stare at your face during sex because they want to see you moan and react to the things they’re doing to you. it boosts their ego & turns them on knowing that they’re the cause of the pleasure that you're feeling.
🌷mercury in the 8th house, pluto in 3rd house, and gemini mars: might c*m quick via masturbation, but they're also talented with their hands in general when it comes to sex. so handjobs and the like may be their area of expertise. their words are powerful and can be used effortlessly in order to arouse you. they’re the type to guide their partners, whispering sexy things in their ears, giving them instructions and talking them through to an orgasm (for themselves and their partner).
🌷 mars-saturn aspects: it might take some time for them to c*m but they usually have a high libido and can easily go several rounds. however, they could also go without sex for years and years, so being celibate probably isn’t difficult for them. 
🌷mars-venus aspects: may enjoy some degree of pain during sex so they may be a bit of a sadist or masochist. for example, whipping or performing actions that leave a visual representation of pain like bruises or red hand prints from spanking. if it’s not to that extent then a little bit of biting could really turn them on. this can apply to aries/scorpio placements too.
🌷 aquarius: some of them probably like to kiss their friends on the lips - not even in a sexual way but just because. they could have an array of sex toys and may prefer a solo session because they feel like they know their body and can please themselves best. even if they’re having sex, they might want to include the use of a toy. probably have some interesting or uncommon kinks. could prefer friends with benefits and it may work out for them since they’re good at not getting attached. they can also invent new ways to keep things exciting in the bedroom. the type to surprise their partner and make them c*m unexpectedly because they did something to catch them off guard.
🌷 scorpio & pisces: i feel like these two would have such a profound sexual experience together and i think their similarities would play a big role in that. they’re both water signs making them both emotional and those emotions would definitely come out to play during the act. and sex could even be a means of catharsis for them. 
pisces relates to all things spiritual and scorpio is familiar with the occult side of spirituality, but this isn’t outside of the realm of pisces either because as the ruler of the 12th house, they’re no stranger to the deep & dark mysteries of life. 
and i definitely believe that sex has a spiritual aspect to it. they might try Tantric sex or Kama Sutra positions, or they just have some form of a spiritual experience. maybe sex between the two of them feels like an out of body experience. or they experience la petite mort, the little death in english, which is an expression that describes an orgasm that feels like death - but a pleasant death. in addition to this, pisces and scorpio both have this desire to merge their souls with the person they love and sex is definitely one of the ways of doing so. 
all in all, the both of them together could have some of the most spiritual and emotional sex & since scorpio and pisces are both prone to addictions, sex between these two could be very addicting.
🌷 if you have libra 8th house synastry with your partner, you may have the thought or desire to partake in anilingus with each other. this could be something that you are totally against and cannot imagine doing, but with that person it could be something you are willing to consider. this could catch you by surprise and make you think, “omg who am i?” lol. 
🌷 i’ve noticed that a lot of celebrities that have genital piercings (whether it be something they’ve willingly revealed themselves or something that was revealed due to a wardrobe malfunction) have a combination of sag or scorpio in uranus, neptune, and/or as their moon sign. and to my surprise, they also have their mars in an earth sign. so, some you who have or want genital piercings may also have these placements. if these placements fall in your or 8th or 12th house, that would also make sense since those houses have to do with things that are hidden.
🌷 eros in the 10th house: i’d say this placement definitely desires a dom/sub dynamic. if they like playing the dominant role then they could like being called master, sir, or daddy. if they’d rather play the submissive role because they desire a dominant partner then they may like being called babygirl, my girl, or princess. they like having their partner telling them what to do & how to do it. in return, it pleases them to please their dom. they might also like sitting on their partners lap because it feels like their personal throne but it also makes them feel protected which this placement finds attractive. they like that protective energy in a partner since it gives them a sense of safety and comfort. if eros is aspecting neptune then they might fantasize about messing around with their boss or supervisor, even more exciting if it actually ends up happening at their place of work. oh, and they may like reading episode or wattpad stories with this kind of plot.
if you read this until the end, go rinse your eyes lol but i hope you enjoyed this post & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.
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ckret2 · 8 days
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@marsupials-of-mars submitted:
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I was planning to do maybe a fic and more doodles of this but now I'm busy with school so I might as well show what I did do!
Based on how the goldilocks fic seems to posit that Bill at his best is a silly professor who loves to teach his own way
Introducing Professor Locke!
Things about this idea:
-post redemption, however that will go. I'm calling it an AU because I imagine it is not your plan for what happens after lol, but currently canon-compliant.
-Bill is at first not very on board with the idea of working in the higher education system. It's a scam and it's dumb that they tell adult people how to think.
-He's eventually convinced to bless Backupsmore with his tutelage, on the grounds that they're less stuck up there, they seem to care about giving their students opportunities despite their backgrounds, and the kids there care about learning rather than going to college just because their parents said they should.
-Ford uses his academic connections to vouch for Bill even though he is very mysterious and has no academic records. This is another reason why they picked Backupsmore: i's a little more lax when presented with a shockingly smart mystery professor. Bill gets an interview and charms the pants off the university president.
-He teaches "astrophysics" in theory (that's the job description) but he ends up teaching a little bit of everything.
-He's one of those professors you either adore or despise. He's very loud, often outright mean, and if you're too shy to speak up in class he does not give a SHIT about you. You gotta want it!
-However, his class is notoriously easy. He thinks homework and tests are facist, but he's required to have a curriculum, so his "quizzes" are like a few true or false questions and then a short answer where he asks something he thinks would be funny or wants to hear about, like "what's the dumbest thing another student has said in class since the last test and why was it dumb" or "fashion advice: what's the coolest thing I wore this last week? Extra credit: draw something cooler I SHOULD wear."
-as a result, students who have completely unrelated majors will take his class. If they end up being interested, he deems them worthy. If they're just there to be lazy, he will bully them into dropping out.
-Mabel buys him stickers to put on people's tests when they pass, or to just hand out when they something he likes. He gets along most with the college kids who know how to appreciate a classic gold star.
-He really wanted a big pretty lecture hall, where his voice would echo and he could point at a big chalkboard. But all Backupsmore could provide was a cinderblock and linoleum basement classroom. The lights buzz very loudly and it smells musty. They have stools and folding tables. Bill finds he enjoys the more intimate environment where he can walk between the tables and also sneak up on people.
-He's broken multiple folding tables by trying to do the cool professor thing where you hop up onto your desk and cross your legs and talk all casual. He is able to do this on his own desk thankfully. It's aluminum.
-Ford gets a bit nervous if he did the right thing when bill tells his school stories at the dinner table, so he finds an excuse to accompany Bill to a campus event where he can meet some of his students.
-His fears are quickly assuaged when he sees how beloved Bill is and how well he gets along with the kids. When he eventually joins in on one of these conversations, one of the students asks if he's Sixer. The students are excited by this. Bill tries to shut them up, to partial success.
OK I guess I just ended up writing the fic more or less so enjoy I guess lol.
Aww, this is adorable! Thank you! (And the fact that you're imagining a future for Bill makes me so happy.) He's absolutely be the weirdest professor in the school and he'd ADORE having a crowd full of trusting impressional minds whose parents are paying him to change the way they think. Talk about playing to his strengths.
Your idea is so wholesome, meanwhile the moment I saw "Professor Bill" I went,
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genshinluvr · 1 year
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Anything for the Star
Pairings: Various Honkai Star Rail Men x Isekai'd!Reader
Summary: March has a theory that the men would do anything for their precious shining star. However, you thought it was ridiculous. Due to you being skeptical about March's theory, March decides to put it to the test because those men would do anything for the star, right?
Note: I was supposed to post this yesterday/in the middle of the night, but my little brothers, my older brother, my older brother's fiancee, and I played a drinking game, and I got drunk— I'm a sleepy drunk, apparently! Hence why I wasn't able to post yesterday/in the middle of the night ;v; but fear not! Here is the update! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: None that I know of
Word Count: 3.9k
Read Part 2 of Anything for the Star [HERE]!
It’s not a secret that these ten men have feelings for you. You’re not oblivious to their advances, nor are you purposefully pretending not to know about their flirtations toward you. In fact, you love it when they flirt with you. If you were good at flirting, you would flirt back, but unfortunately, you’re not a natural flirt. Sometimes your flirtiness will come out of the blue, but most of the time, they’re not present.
The door to your bedroom slides open, making you look up from your phone to see March and Himeko. “[Y/N], can you test something out for me!” March asks, entering your room with the redhead following.
“Uh, sure! What is it that you need me to do?” You ask, shutting your phone off and putting them on your nightstand. “Let me guess, you need me to convince Pom-Pom not to scold you for leaving shoe prints on the Parlor Car’s floor?” you tease.
“Hey!” March huffs loudly while Himeko giggles behind her hands. “I did not leave those shoe prints on the floor! It was Caelus that left those shoe marks!” March exclaims, glaring at you with her cheeks puffing out. 
You grin at March as you migrate toward the edge of your bed. “I’m kidding, March. So, what do you want me to test out?” You ask, hugging your knees to your chest.
March opens her mouth to respond, but the door to your bathroom opens. Nanook walks out of your bathroom with water droplets dripping down his muscular tan chest while clutching onto the towel tied around his waist. Your, Himeko, and March’s eyes widen— the two women looking away flustered.
“Nanook, we talked about this!” You whisper loudly.
Nanook chuckles, running his hands through his damp hair. “Apologies, little one. I did not expect for us to have guests,” Nanook says, walking back to the bathroom as you frantically gesture for him to go to the bathroom and put on some clothes.
You don’t mind seeing Nanook parade around your bedroom in nothing but a towel wrapped around his slim waist, low enough for you to see the silver-white hairs peeking from the towel. You clear your throat, rubbing the back of your neck to grab March and Himeko’s attention. March looks at you with horror, pointing at you and then at the bathroom.
March squeaks, “Did you… Did you and Nanook…” March trails off, her face turning bright red with realization. 
Your eyes widen, and you shake your head fiercely. “No! No, we did not! March! Get your head out of the gutter!” You shriek, grabbing the pillow behind you and chucking it at the pink-haired girl.
March catches the pillow mid-air, grinning wide with victory, and holds the pillow up in the air while laughing triumphantly. She runs toward you, jumping in the air, ready to smack you with the pillow. You scream, roll out of the way and reach for the second pillow and start whacking her with it the minute she lands on your bed. Himeko sighs, shaking her head while chuckling.
“March, are you not going to tell [Y/N] about the favor?” Himeko asks.
You and March stop your mini pillow fight and turn to look at the redhead. Himeko props her hands on her hips and raises her eyebrows at March. March gaze at Himeko with a blank expression, her mouth agape. You lean back on your elbows and watch March try to remember what favor she wants you to do for her. You stifle your laugh as March continues to stare at Himeko blankly. March groans and smacks her forehead, plopping on your bed with an exasperated sigh.
"Great! I don't remember it anymore!" March exclaims, grabbing the pillow and hitting you in the face with it.
You yelp and tumble out the bed dramatically. During your mid-fall, Dan Heng, Caelus, and Mr. Yang enter your room to see you fall out of the bed after March throws the pillow in your face. While the fall was supposed to be playful and dramatic, you ended up landing on your arm in a funny position, causing you to suck in a sharp breath and clutch your arm to your chest while lying on the ground.
"[Y/N]!" Caelus gasps, running over to you.
Dan Heng kneels beside you, helping you up from the ground by lifting you up by the waist. "Are you alright?"
Mr. Yang turns to March, giving her a disapproving look. "March, can you please be careful next time? [Y/N] got hurt," Mr. Yang scolds.
You shake your head, waving your hand to grab Caelus, Dan Heng, and Mr. Yang's attention. "No, no! It's not March's fault! I thought it'd be funny if I acted dramatic, and, as you can see, that didn't end well on my end," you grunt. 
Dan Heng helps you get up on your bed, making sure not to touch your injured arm. Your arm isn't broken. There wasn't a snap or a crack. You feel fine! Although it does feel like you slept on your arm in a weird position, causing it to be sore and ache if you were to move your arm in the slightest. 
Upon hearing the commotion, Nanook steps out of your bathroom to see the Astral Express crew crowding around you like a worried mother hen. Nanook pushes past the group and kneels beside you, placing a gentle hand on your arm and lightly touching it. You stare at Nanook with a questioning gaze, wondering what he is doing. Nanook doesn't say a word and stands up, crossing his arms over his chest and rubbing his temples.
"Uh, can you guys get me the Immortals Delight? I think it'll make me feel better," you say, not taking your eyes away from the slightly miffed Aeon of Destruction.
"Huh? Immortals Delight? Isn't that on the Xianzhou Luofu?" March asks, propping her hands on her hips. "If we get you the Immortals Delight, we will need to stop by the Xianzhou Luofu if that's the case!"
Mr. Yang clears his throat, nodding. "We were heading to the Xianzhou Luofu already. We'll stop by to grab some Immortals Delight for [Y/N] before meeting up with the General of the Xianzhou Luofu," says Mr. Yang.
You stare at Mr. Yang. Does that mean you won’t be stepping foot out of the Astral Express? Your arm is hurting, but it’s not like you injured your leg and can’t walk. As much as you want to question them, you decide not to. Caelus, Dan Heng, Mr. Yang, March, and Himeko walk out of your room. Before March leaves your room, she stops and jogs back to where you lie. You and Nanook gaze at March quizzically as she plops on the edge of your bed.
"My favor is for you to test out my theory," March says ominously, nodding.
You blink at the pink-haired girl. "And what is that theory of yours? I am all ears!" you say, propping your head on the wrong arm, making you wince in pain.
March squeals, clapping her hands, and skips toward your bed. Nanook helps you sit up, letting you use him as a cushion. March gazes at Nanook, a little hesitant to let Nanook hear her theory. Still, she decides to let it slide for the Aeon of Destruction. March doesn't need you to test her theory out on the Aeon of Destruction when it's already evident that he would do anything for you. The entire time, while March tells you and Nanook (mainly you, she's ignoring Nanook) her theory, you can't help but be skeptical.
"I don't think your theory is going to need testing," Nanook interjects, crossing his arms over his chest.
March sputters, glaring at the Aeon. "And why is that? Is it because you don't want to see men bend to [Y/N]'s will?" March demands, propping her hands on her hips while jutting her hip out.
You clear your throat to break the tension between your best friend and your... Aeon. You have yet to give Nanook a title. You weren't sure if you should call him your friend or your lover because you and Nanook had yet to kiss in person. You wouldn't include the steamy dream/interaction you had with the Aeon a while ago, but regardless, you have yet to give him a title. His calling you his little one or star isn't a relationship title.
"We can test this theory of yours out, March. However, if it's simple requests such as getting me Immortals Delight at the Xianzhou Luofu, it does not count," you say.
March opens her mouth to protest but closes them after seeing the look on your face. It would be best if you were staying in the comfort of your room, but you had Nanook carry you to the Parlor Car to test your theory out. According to March, the heater in the Parlor Car is broken and has yet to be fixed. Since you're wearing shorts and a T-shirt, you're going to see if someone is going to be willing to give their jacket up for you. Or, instead of a jacket, they'll get you a blanket to keep you warm.
"I don't see the need in doing this when I can keep my little one warm without an issue," Nanook grumbles, sitting beside you on the couch in the Parlor Car.
March scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Oh, I know you will do anything for your little star. I want to see how whipped these men are for [Y/N]," March comments.
On cue, Caelus, Dan Heng, and Mr. Yang walk into the Parlor Car with Immortals Delight in their hands. That's right, their hands. There are three Immortals Delight just for you and only you. Your eyes widen, and a huge smile stretches across your face. The three men approach you, Nanook and March before simultaneously holding the Immortals Delight toward you. Oh boy, oh boy! Plenty for you to drink and get a sugar rush of a lifetime!
March makes a face. "I don't think [Y/N] should be drinking that much Immortals Delight," March says with uncertainty. cocking her head to the side.
Caelus shrugs. "Hey, they didn't say how many Immortals Delight they wanted, now, did they?" Caelus asks, cocking an eyebrow at March and handing the drink to you.
You grab the Immortals Delight and hum happily after taking multiple sips of the sweet beverage. Mr. Yang and Dan Heng place the other two Immortals Delight on the table before you. You involuntarily shiver, putting the cup on the table and rubbing your hands together,
"Are you cold? Here, take my coat," Dan Heng says, taking his jacket off and draping them over your shoulders before you could protest.
March turns toward you with a knowing look while Nanook sighs, rolling his eyes. You're immediately engulfed in warmth. You sigh with contentment, grab the Immortals Delight from the table, and continue sipping the sweet beverage. You chew and swallow the boba, turning to Nanook and holding the cup toward him. 
Nanook gazes at the cup and at you. You stare at him curiously, silently asking the Aeon of Destruction if he wants a sip of Immortals Delight.
Nanook sighs, leaning toward the straw, and sips from the same straw. Being the dramatic person that she is, March gasps loudly, covers her hand with one hand, and points at you and Nanook with the other. You, Caelus, Nanook, Dan Heng, and Mr. Yang look at March questionably.
"Why did you gasp like that?" You mutter, scooting close to Nanook as the Aeon of Destruction continues to sip the Immortals Delight and chew on the tapioca pearls.
March giggles behind her hand, shrugging. "I find it cute how you and Nanook practically had an indirect kiss with one another by sharing straws," March says, feigning innocence.
Oh, you see what March is doing. She's trying to set Caelus, Mr. Yang, and Dan Heng off by mentioning the sharing of the straws between you and Nanook.
Or, at least, that's what you're assuming March is trying to do. The doors to the Astral Express open and enter the three men of the Xianzhou Luofu and the three men from Jarilo-VI. You yawn and rub your eyes, sleepiness overcoming you.
"Hello! Welcome to the Astral Express! Is there anything we can assist you with?" You ask, taking another large sip of the Immortals Delight.
Luocha walks toward you, standing beside the table that holds the other two Immortals Delight. "I was informed to check on your arm. Mr. Yang informed me you injured yourself," Luocha replies, sitting beside you.
Huh? Mr. Yang secretly contacted the Xianzhou Luofu? More importantly, he reached out to Luocha about your somewhat injured arm? Personally, you don't think you hurt your arm. Yes, you landed on your arm when you were trying to be dramatic, but the pain should go away within a few days. At least, that's what you're hoping.
"May I check your arm?" Luocha murmurs, holding his hand out.
You sigh and shake Dan Heng's jacket off your shoulders, handing them back to the black-haired man. You extend your arm and let the long, blond-haired man gently caress your arm and begin feeling around your arm. When he squeezes your elbow, you hiss and squeeze your eyes shut.
"There's a faint bruise forming on your arm. Are you sure it was a light tumble?" Luocha asks, turning to look at Mr. Yang.
"It wasn't a bad fall! I didn't hear a snap or a crack," you say, frowning at Luocha. 
You shiver and rub your arm. The Parlor Car is colder than you thought it was, and you're not sure if it's because you drank a cold beverage or if the temperature has dropped even more. Luocha continues where he left off— healing your minor arm injury.
Blade stands over you and Luocha, gazing at your arm. "It's a relief you didn't give yourself tendinitis. If you did manage to do that, you'd need physical therapy, medication to reduce the pain, and you're now allowed to use your arm as often," Blade murmurs.
You sigh in relief. Thank the Aeons, you didn't give yourself tendinitis. You wouldn't know what else to do if you had it! From how Blade described it, it sounds like a burden and torture. Imagine not being able to do certain tasks without putting yourself through immense pain. 
"It's really cold in here. When is the heater going to be fixed?" You mutter, shivering in your seat.
Blade sits between you and Nanook, ignoring the death glare shot in his direction by the Aeon of Destruction. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you toward his chest. You rest your head on Blade's shoulders, shivering in his arms. 
Blade presses his lips to the side of your head. "I'll keep you warm for the time being," Blade murmurs.
March clears her throat. "We're not sure when exactly, but it should be fixed soon. It looks like you'll need someone to keep you warm until the heater is fixed," March winks at you.
You hum, closing your eyes. You're supposed to test out March's theory, and yet you're having slight issues with this so-called test. First of all, you didn't want to hurt Nanook's feelings if you continued to test the theory out for March. While Nanook hasn't said anything about the test other than glaring at the men that approach you and are handsy with you— and by handsy, you mean them hugging you and lightly brushing their hands against you.
Besides, even if these men are willing to do things as you say, you don't think it's solid proof that they would do anything for you. That is what you told March after the Immortals Delight and Blade letting you cuddle him on the Astral Express situation. And now here you are, sitting in your bedroom with March standing before you, looking like she's about to burst out laughing.
"What are you up to?" You ask, tapping your fingers on your legs anxiously.
March giggles. "Oh, it's nothing, really! Are you ready for your surprise?" March asks, clapping her hands with excitement.
You did not know what March had in mind for the surprise, but you're very curious because of the way she's acting. One minute you were in the Parlor Car, relaxing and hanging out with Himeko and Pom-Pom. The next, March is dragging you to your bedroom after asking you to follow her to your room for a surprise. March never mentioned anything to you, and the sudden secret surprise is making you wary of what's going to happen. The words ‘March’ and ‘surprise’ don't go well together— especially if this surprise is for you.
"Ready as I'll ever be!" You say, mentally preparing for what's to come.
March claps her hands happily. "Alright! Boys, come on out!" March announces, turning toward your bathroom.
The bathroom door opens, and lo and behold, the ten men walk into your room, their faces crimson red. Your eyes widen, and you look at March, baffled. March grins widely and nods, silently laughing while clutching her side. You cover your mouth and close your eyes, trying your best to keep your composure.
You clear your throat, opening your eyes. "How did you convince them to wear maid dresses? And where did you get the maid costumes?" You ask, turning to March.
Panic flashes across March's face. "Oh! Uh! [Y/N], did you not remember?! You told me you wanted to see these men in maid costumes because you believe they will look good in it!" Mach lies, giving you a fake smile.
You stare at the pink-haired girl with your mouth agape. Guess this is your cue to go with whatever March is lying about. 
You nod slowly. "And you guys did it willingly?" You ask, turning to look at the flustered men.
"March 7th said this was your wish, and who are we to turn down your wishes?" Jing Yuan asks, pulling down the too-short skirt. "I hope seeing us in this costume makes you happy." Jing Yuan blushes.
Does it make you happy? Seeing the ten men in maid costumes with skirts that are almost too short? The very same maid costume that is hugging them around the torso, making their muscles bulge under the dress, a garter wrapping around their thick, muscular thighs, biceps flexing with the slightest movement. Dear, Aeons. You nod and gulp, rubbing the back of your neck.
"I mean, sure! Dear, Aeons. I didn't think you guys would look so good in maid costumes," you squeak, nearly choking on your saliva.
Luka steps forward, flexing his biceps and running his prosthetic hand through his luscious hair. "I'm glad you wanted us to wear this, cutie patootie! I look good in this outfit," Luka says, smirking and flexing his biceps for you. "Do you want to feel my muscles?" Luka winks at you.
You stare at Luka, mouth agape. Fuck, do you want to feel Luka's bulging biceps? March notices your hesitation before nodding for you. March nudges you forward, making you stumble forward. You collect yourself as Luka stands before you, smiling down at you. He brushes your hair from your face and stifles his laugh when he feels the heat radiating from your face. You glare at Luka and reach forward with your eyes closed. You place your hand on Luka's bulging biceps, feeling him flex his bicep beneath your hand.
"Holy fuck, he's huge," you whisper to yourself.
You clear your throat for the umpteenth time before pulling your hand away from Luka's biceps, face hotter than it already was. Luka steps back with a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest with an amused smile. Sampo and Gepard then step forward, their arms over their chests. The apples of Gepard's cheek and his ears are almost as red as Himeko's hair, while Sampo looks eager— he has a wide smile on his face, and his cheeks and the tip of his ears are almost as pink as March's hair. 
You stare at the blond man and indigo-haired man skeptically, gnawing on the inside of your cheek. What are these two men up to, and why do they look eager yet shy? You narrow your eyes at them before turning to the pink-haired girl behind you. She grins at you and waves eagerly. You gesture for them to give you a moment before walking over to March, pulling her to the corner of your room. 
You hiss through clenched jaws, "March, what did you do?" 
March bats her eyelashes at you, swaying side to side. "What? I did nothing at all!" March says, crossing her arms over her chest. "Plus, don't you remember that we're testing out my theory?"
You grumble under your breath and push past the pink-haired girl, walking to Gepard and Sampo— feeling a sense of dread falling over you. March is up to something, and you're nervous to see what they have in store for you.
"What did March tell you two?" You ask weakly.
Sampo props his hands on his hips, making sure to flex his biceps. "March 7th informed us about how you wish to be squished between our chests," Sampo announces for everyone to hear.
Dan Heng, Caelus, Mr. Yang, Blade, Luka, Jing Yuan, Luocha, and Nanook raise their eyebrows at Sampo’s comment. Gepard sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and nodding. You purse your lips and nod slowly. So this is what March refuses to tell you about. 
"Come here, Gumdrop. Get into my arms, and we shall make your dreams come true," Sampo purrs, making the come here motion with his index and middle finger. 
You make a dramatic sniffle before waddling over to Sampo. Sampo wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you to his chest and kissing the top of your head while ignoring the glare Nanook shot in his direction. 
Gepard clears his throat. "March also informs us that you wanted to be sandwiched between us for approximately ten minutes," says Gepard.
"Ten? I recalled thirty minutes!" March huffs, crossing her arms over her chest.
You scoff. "Gepard, Sampo, and I are not going to be standing for thirty minutes!" You exclaim, glaring at the pink-haired girl.
March glares at you and gestures for Sampo and Gepard to step close to each other until you're pressing up against their chest. Sampo releases you and has you stand between him and Gepard. The two men walk toward you until you're squished between the two men. Their beefy pecks press up against your cheeks. Just when you thought your face couldn't be any hotter, you stand corrected.
"This is what you wanted. I don't understand how you're so shy about it," Gepard murmurs, wrapping his beefy arms around your waist before rubbing your hip bone with his thumb.
You sputter, "Well when it's being done in front of nine other people."
You feel something drip from your nose. You sniffle, reaching up and touching the liquid dripping from your nose. You look at your fingers to see crimson red. Oh, fuck. You're bleeding. 
"Huh," you mutter.
Nanook steps forward, gazing at you, worried. "Little one, what happened?" Nanook asks worriedly.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and your world turns black. The last thing you heard was everyone gasping and screaming your name. Note to self: Do not test March's theory if it involves the men, or else she will take advantage of it and fluster you as much as she can.
Note: Man, this took me a while to type this out because I have many distractions around me. Writing fanfiction during a family vacation is no joke because they will do anything to distract you and pull you away from the laptop ;v; While I posted this fic at 10 PM PST, it's posted at midnight where I'm currently vacationing at. Uh, this will be labeled as published on July 22nd and July 23rd on my new Masterlist (I linked both Masterlists down below ^^) To my new and/or returning readers, please keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Taglist for the HSR one-shot series: @ashwasherelol, @mompt2, @elegantnightblaze, @lunavixia, @jadedist, @reversearrowhead, @pinksaiyans, @n8mareee, @aurelia-xyt, @ssunset0, @starrry-angel, @kaoyamamegami, @kodzuvk, @for3very0urs, @a-cosmicdawn, @g3n0dtt, @theblades, @wntrsblvd, @raaawwwr, @immahuman, @irisxiel, @siaracarroll, @crazydreamcat, @sen-nes, @sagekun, @orichalcumthief, @dyingsweetmackerel, @rosiesareblue, @ichikanu, @undecidingfate (Accounts that I was unable to tag are not tagged in this fic. Remember to check your settings if you're allowing people to mention you/tag you in posts or not)
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